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#give him a hat and sunscreen so he dont burn
woahhiperson · 2 years
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boogerbert
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verdantmoontruther · 2 years
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why every member of team 7 is absolutely intolerable, outside of the obvious: part 3
u guys are gobbling up my word vomit like it’s candy. that’s not healthy. in follow up to this post, here’s part 3.
naruto
- trauma dumps, but what’s worse is that he doesn’t REALISE he’s trauma dumping (”yeah, one time i spent the night in the gutter with some guy with a tin-foil hat on, ya know. he kept talking about aliens. i think he was dead in the morning so i stole his coat. maybe we should have listened to him haha”)
- puts his feet up on everything
- has two chairs in his house: one he has put a plant on; the other is The Chair that everybody that does laundry and is too lazy to put it away has. Therefore, he doesn’t actually have any available chairs, BUT you are not allowed to sit on his bed. (the first thing he says to you when you come inside his apart is “the floor or the door”)
- uses “this guy i know” when talking about someone that tried to kill him
- believes every superstition
- does that thing where he flips his top eyelids inside out
- leg shaker (ugh he’s so me)
- has thankfully somewhat moved on from “but iruka-sensei SAID --”
- has instead become a big fan of “but shikamaru SAID --”
- fucking ALWAYS leaves cupboard doors open. ALWAYS
sakura
- plays her music annoyingly loud
- was one of the kids that would scream when the lights turned off
- big time “i told you so” sayer
- ridiculously nosy
- desperately wants to be the mom friend, acts like the mom friend, nobody considers her the mom friend
- still considers pinky promises to be above reproach
- imagines arguments she might have with people and then gets pissed at them in real life
sasuke
- doesn’t blow his nose even when he’s been sniffling for the past five hours
- after a katon, a fire user will usually have a mouthful of smoke. sasuke will blow it in the nearest person’s face
- practices low level genjutsus on people without telling them
- is always cold, refuses to put on a coat. his lips are blue half the time
- has hayfever in springtime, which doesn’t necessarily make him insufferable, but it is very funny
- has flawless skin even though he washes his face at most 2 times a month
- likes fidgeting with, like, dust bunnies and lint and shit. just anything in front of him at the moment, even if it’s year old gum that’s covered in dirt and solidified into a brick that he found on the ground
- is the kind of person that everyone can tell needs a few hours in a rage room
sai
- enters a room and stands in the corner silently until whoever he is waiting for notices him and has an acute heart attack
- also ridiculously nosy, and he doesn’t realise it’s something that normal people tend to conceal about themselves
- never takes cues. what’s a cue? he doesn’t know. oh someone said “oh would you look at the time!” and he does. he looks at the clock. he’s not sure what he’s looking for but god damn it he’s looking
- has staring contests with cats
- refuses to sleep in/generally be in rooms without an open window, needs the temperature to be below zero. the door handles in his room are growing icicles and that’s how he likes it
- doesn’t think sunscreen is ‘worth the hassle’, is always covered in first degree burns
kakashi
- fanfic writers are right, he never uses the door when a window will suffice
- has little inside jokes with himself and will sometimes laugh to himself out of nowhere
- ALSO ridiculously nosy, but he’s better at hiding it
- defends reading icha icha for the plot to the death (”if you haven’t read it you can’t have an opinion” “yes i read the porny bits, for the EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY”)
- gives people little electric shocks when shaking hands sometimes, extra points if he makes their hair go staticky
- tends not to look people in the eyes when he’s talking to them. not out of fear or trauma or whatever, he just doesn’t do it. i dont do it either, idk why, which is how i know it’s fucking annoying to other people, but i find it kind of funny
yamato
- frowns at toddlers. he doesn’t realise he’s doing it, but he is
- his skin is always ice cold its kinda freaky
- dares kakashi to give people little electric shocks when shaking hands sometimes, extra points if he makes their hair go staticky
- likes talking in big words about his very niche interests to people that neither know what he’s saying nor give a shit
- very big on pretending to know what’s going on at all times; has a very strong need to be the smartest person in every room he’s in
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newtsies · 3 years
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PLEASE TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR HARLEM OCS
OMGOMG IKOOKOOKO
so basically theres 3 of them so far- scram, stitch, and charles
i'm gonna put it under the line cuz this'll get long lol
pretend like i didn't post it too early
so first we have scram
scram is like 9-10 years old. HE'S SO SMALL V SMALL ,, he wears clothes that are wAyy too big for him. so his flannel like flies behind him and his cap is basically sagging off his head. he runs A LOT. mostly because he gets in trouble a lot-
he got his nickname bc basically everyday he runs through groups of newsboys and he yells "scram!!" because he's getting chased by the cops
he's got tanner skin and he's italian 💁‍♂️ HE'S VERY TANNED BC HE'S ALWAYS OUTSIDE AND ALWAYS RUNNING. he's got wavy black hair and it's basically all over the place and its super long bc the boy doesn't know how to cut it
he's LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. "where is scram?" and suddenly scram is stumbling toward you and being like "hiya!!"
he's used for like- messages? bc he likes to run so stitch (the leader) was basically like "lol okay so tell brooklyn blah blah blah" and scram his halfway to brooklyn as soon as he says it.
"someone go get-"
and scram is gone
very energetic like he's just constantly "step on the GASS",, he's like 'somebody race me!!' and the harlem boys are all over the place groaning bc everyone of them has gone against him like 5 times and he's still not calm
stitch gwts closer to hitting him in the head every night just to get him to sleep. scram literally doesnt sit still and he talks so fast too like he's an auctioneer
AND HOW DOES HE RUN SO FAST AND NOT TRIP OVER HIS CLOTHES?? guess we'll never know!!
--
ookok next is stitch!!
like i said he's basically the harlem leader. he's 15-16.
cant stand his boys but he loves them so much. like if they catch him on a bad day he's like "you are basically my child and i love you and wish you the best but i swear to god if you dont leave me alone you will die"
he's known for getting into fights a lot and then known for loosing the fights. he's called stitch bc he's gotten so many stitches from getting in fights or just doing stupid things. he's like insane he's just extreme
"you guys think i could make this jump?" and the jump is like across two buildings with a 3 foot drop
"stitch don't-"
he jumps.
does he make the jump? of course not. new stitches!!
he's pale but like basically red bc the sun burns him up </3 also refuses to invest in sunscreen
he has blonde hair but its like... matted and knotted. he def needs to invest in a brush,, its also dirty all the time. like he has oil in his hair. LIKE BLACK OIL AND HE DOESNT EVEN GO AORUND BLACK OIL WHERE DOES IT COME FROM
his shirts are too small unlike scram- like if he buttoned his shirts they would just pop off so he doesn't button them. which gives him so many scars and stitches on his chest smh. does he invest in new clothes? OF COURSE NOT. like 5'5
-
charles is next he's like 15
he's like buff. like tommy bracco as spot buff
he's basically the body guard but he's like <333 sweetheart
he's tanned but a lot lighter than scram. takes good care of himself cough stitch cough
his hair just flops over his face and his hat like fits him just right bc he's charles
like everything is just right,, not too big or too small. BC CHARLES CARES (#charlescares spread the hashtag /j) so he saves money for clothes for when his shirts get too tight n stuff
he's got such a formal name the boys are probably like "charles, be a dear and fetch me some beignets"
and he's like " i will strangle you"
THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABT THEM I LOVE THEM SM :')
also charles and stitch are in love and their ship name is starles and i love them and i have head cannons for them bc they deserve the world
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