#give me azi bookshop or give me death

[animatedplush]

honestly i’d kill to sit and read at aziraphale’s book shop

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

The Season 2 Poster Details

From top to bottom :)

This is a Buddy Holly song Everyday which was originally supposed to be the Good Omens theme :)

Neil talks about it in the Introduction to the Script Book: “In the scripts, Buddy Holly’s song ‘Every Day’ runs through the whole like a thread. It was something that Terry had suggested in 1991, and it was there in the edit. Our composer, David Arnold, created several different versions of ‘Every Day’ to run over the end credits. And then he sent us his Good Omens theme, and it was the Good Omens theme. Then Peter Anderson made the most remarkable animated opening credits to the Good Omens theme, and we realised that ‘Every Day’ didn’t really make any sense any longer, and, reluctantly, let it go. It’s here, though. You can hum it.”

And there is also the Buddy Holly Everyday record! :)

Book The Crow Road by Iain Banks. The novel describes Prentice McHoan's preoccupation with death, sex, his relationship with his father, unrequited love, sibling rivalry, a missing uncle, cars, alcohol and other intoxicants, and God, against the background of the Scottish landscape

Book Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad. An early and primary event in the story is the abandonment of a passenger ship in distress by its crew, including a young British seaman named Jim. He is publicly censured for this action and the novel follows his later attempts at coming to terms with himself and his past and seeking redemption and acceptance.

Important themes in Lord Jim include the consequences of a single, poor decision, the indifference of the universe, and the inability to know oneself or others.

There is book The Body Snatcher by Robert Louis Stevenson. Its characters were based on criminals in the employ of real-life surgeon Robert Knox (1791–1862) around the time of the notorious Burke and Hare murders (1828). Neil said: Oddly enough, episode 3 will take us to a little stint of body snatching in the era.

There is Catch-22 book by Joseph Heller that coined the term Catch-22: situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules or limitations.

Is there only one hand or are there two? :) EIther 6 ;), or 6:30 :).

Through the window we can see the coffeeshop Give Me Coffe or Give Me Death where Nina works! :)

Azi is wearing his nifty glasses :).

Crowley is wearing his new glasses, they are RIGARDS X UMA WANG - THE STONE ECLIPSE (VINTAGE BLACK/BLACK STONES) - $435

There is the Holy Bible Aziraphale used in Season 1 :)

There seems to be a broken phone :).

The cakes behind Aziraphale are Eccles cakes :).

Azi is reading A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens published in 1859, set in London and Paris before and during the French Revolution. The novel tells the story of the French Doctor Manette, his 18-year-long imprisonment in the Bastille in Paris, and his release to live in London with his daughter Lucie whom he had never met. The story is set against the conditions that led up to the French Revolution and the Reign of Terror. 

Another book there is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - Neil said said that we will learn a lot about Jane Austin we didn’t know before.

And finally the Treasure Island book by - again :) - Robert Louis Stevenson, an adventure novel with pirates.

There are three geckos cuties. Who are they? Pets? Is Ligur haunting the bookshop? Who knows :).

A mysterious pamphlet, 'The Resurrectionists’ leaflet. (unofficial spoiler :)).

Also there is an old camera... mmm 🤔 Did Azi made some photos (of what? Him and Crowley, ducks? :)) Will we see them? :)

Their positions is an homage to the book covers! :)(x)

Will update this as fandom discovers new things! :)❤

[depressed-fanperson]

Ok so here is my theories for Good Omens season 3

☑️More Angel Crowley flashbacks (possibly his status/name as an angel unveiled[and here are my theories on that])

☑️ “Love of My Life” by Queen as Crowley proceeds to, as Castiel put it, “I found a liquor shop. I drank it.”

☑️ Aziraphale fumbling around kinda in heaven. Like he’s just kinda really awkward up there and doesn’t really know how to do things or he just changes things to have like a couch or something idk

☑️ Muriel in the bookshop (not really a theory so much as a hope) Also Muriel finally changes her clothes (I will cry if she’s still in that all white uniform even I have limits)

☑️ Crowley going to Nina and saying “Give me Death”

☑️ The Bentley acting sad/this AMAZING post

☑️ Another kiss? Maybe? Hopefully?

☑️ a happy ending

☑️ 1941 (and possibly even more apology dances) Edit: ok so I saw this post that made me realize that 1941 was the Nazi scene and that’s probably why Aziraphale did the apology dance after the whole zombie thing but I still believe that Aziraphale is gonna do an apology dance in season 3 I feel it in my rib cage

☑️ ARCHANGEL AZIRAPHALE WITH BEARD???

☑️ this post by @ineffable-cliffhangers

☑️ I am desperately hoping for this post by @feathered-serpents to happen

☑️ scenes with Aziraphale in Heaven that make you cringe with second hand embarrassment(not in a negative way more in a ‘you’re amazing and I treasure you but please don’t do that’ way)

☑️ ok but you know how Aziraphale does a super accurate drawing of Gabriel? What if he does a bunch of drawings of Crowley in heaven because he misses him so much

☑️ In season 1 we see a lot of Earth (obviously) and In season 2 we see plenty of Hell, but only a sneak peak of Heaven, so we’re definitely going to see more of Heaven, especially with Aziraphale being supreme Archangel there’s finally a reason to.

☑️what happened in Edinburgh when Crowley went to Hell?

☑️Aziraphale claims to have fooled Nefertiti, and mentions several times all the magic classes he’s been to, so maybe more history of Aziraphale and magic?

☑️ Aziraphale actually TELLING or Crowley somehow finding out that Aziraphale loves his eyes.

☑️14th Century???

☑Another reference to that 'lovely Chinese fellow' who ended up 6 feet under. I feel it in my bones.

☑️In the Shakespeare scene Crowley mentions that they’ve done the Arrangement “dozens of times before.”, so probably something in between then.

☑️God is gonna come back for narration God will come back I know she will because in s2 they were figuratively leaving the Garden and now that Azi is going back (😢) we will see more of her.

☑️CROWLEY STOPPING HIMSELF FROM CALLING AZI ANGEL

☑️Roof top scene, I swear to god there better be a roof top scene

☑️The big plane, with Jesus, and the security agents/angels; the 2nd coming. This is basically confirmed lol but I have a strong feeling that one of the Christian Big 3 will be there. (God, Jesus, Satan)

☑️In the scene where they're talking about guns and Aziraphale said that they "lends weight to a moral argument; I think.", and then Crowley snickers. He's laughing when Aziraphale says 'moral argument' and mutters it under his breath and starts walking away and Aziraphale is slightly annoyed/embarrassed and I'm sry I've started reading into everything I feel like it might have some sort of connection.

I’m going to save this and maybe add to it as time goes on then come back and fill in any checks that were right. If I’m basing any of these theories on incorrect facts or you’re confused on some of them please tell me and I’d be happy to make the corrections and further explain:).

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! I love what you do here! Your blog has been my number one guide to find good fanfics!

I wanted to ask if you could help me here. I recently read a fanfic with naga!crowley who was in some tower he couldn’t get out and he wasn’t himself. Azi found him there. It sounded very cool but had quite a bit adult content. I feel rather uncomfortable with sutch thing and wanted to know if there are any other fics with the same idea but no adult content and please no human AU’s. could you help me with that? Already a big thank you for this blog <3

Hi! Your description gives fairytale/fantasy vibes, so I hope these are the kind of fics you were after...

A Demon's Guide to Love and Curses by cyankelpie (G)

(Crowley has been cursed by a witch, cut off from his powers, and trapped in serpent form. Only a True Love’s Kiss can restore him to his former self. There’s just one problem: demons can’t fall in love.)

“So what’s your plan?” Crowley said at last, sounding resigned. “You want me to ssslither into town, find some random human, and see if I can fall in love with them? And get them to fall for me?”

“Goodness, no. That would never work.” Aziraphale crossed the floor and pulled his cloak off the coat stand. “My plan is to take you into town, and then, together, we’ll find someone for you to court.”

The Prince and the Serpent by IneffableDoll (G)

The witch’s expression was downright evil. “You’ve heard of True Love’s Kiss, haven’t you?” Anthony stared at her. If he’d had eyebrows instead of being a snake, they’d have touched his hairline. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” ~ This is a magical rom-com about an idiot besotted snake and an idiot besotted prince very loosely inspired by The Princess and the Frog, what do you want from me?

The prince and the snake by Lost_In_Wonderland12 (G)

The kingdom of gold got a prophecy long ago about the youngest child of the king weilding a flaming sword and the king waited expectantly for this child for years until finally the worthy one was born. His last child, Aziraphale, his knight. Fast forward to years later after the death of the king, his oldest son Gabriel has since taken the throne and has no hopes for his youngest brother. That is until a cursed man, a sorcerer if you will, with snake like eyes starts becoming a slight problem. He messes with the roads, terrorizes children, sets snakes loose in barns, and Gabriel does not like him one bit.

So he asks for an audience with the snakelike man who asks for something unusual in return for staying out of trouble. A companion, and a willing one at that. No one steps forward except for Prince Aziraphale, who is whisked away with the promise that he can visit. What will come of this?

A Familiar Bond by ChubbstheFish (T)

There is a reason witches are warned not to summon demons. The sleepy town of Tadfield was supposed to be peaceful, a town full of witches practicing their craft without worry of outside persecution. At least it was until someone let a demon loose. But local bookshop owner and garden enthusiast Aziraphale doesn't really care about all that nonsense, not when he has just acquired a new friend and companion in the shape of a Familiar. Crowley just wanted to head back home. But that's getting harder to do now that he's gone and gotten attached to a certain witch, which is bad since he does not want the pure-hearted man to be corrupted by his mere presence.

The Rose and the Serpent by Atalan (M)

AU, retelling of “Beauty and the Beast”. Quite honestly, sending Aziraphale off into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle isn’t even the worst thing Gabriel’s ever done to him, and at least it means a change of scene. But then neither the snake nor the castle turn out to be quite what he’s expecting…

Choose Your Princes Wisely by ZehWulf (T)

“There’s an enchanted castle West in the Hellian slopes, and apparently it comes with a prince looking for a bride or bridegroom to free him from a dark fae’s curse.”

“I see,” Aziraphale says finally, when he realizes both Gabriel and Uriel are staring at him expectantly. “You want me to marry a beast?”

Gabriel's mouth flattens. “I want you to take this gods’ blessed opportunity to secure your family’s future for good."

OR

Aziraphale is a professional quest hero who just wants to sit by the fire and read a book, if his overbearing family will ever let him; Crowley is a serpent demon who needs a gullible hero he can con into gathering some critical ingredients for a human corporation spell. Hijinks and a lot of terribly inconvenient feelings ensue.

- Mod D

[draconicsplendor]

Good Omens S3 Speculation

Just mentioned this in the reblogs of another post but guys. I think Aziraphale is going to succeed.

I’m not gonna talk about whether Aziraphale or Crowley’s choice was better, because they’re both understandable choices and it’s been talked about to death. But I had this thought about Azi’s choice that will just! Not! Leave! Me! Alone!

Speculation under the cut:

This season taught us a lot about Aziraphale, but the part that sticks out to me is when he tells Nina that he always has a plan, even if he knows Crowley will come to his rescue.

This means he’s strategic enough to know there might be a time Crowley can’t be there to save him, which means he must be a lot more strategic than people give him credit for.

I don’t think he had a plan when the Metatron first invited him to rejoin Heaven as their leader. But he tells Crowley he wants to dismantle that institution, and I think he’s starting to form half-baked ideas of how he wants to go about it.

Towards the end of the final episode, the Metatron mentions the Second Coming of Christ.

And Aziraphale looked terrified.

At that point, I think Aziraphale knew he needed a plan.

But here’s why I think it’s going to work.

I’ve seen others mention this, but I think Aziraphale knows the powers-that-be won’t let them run away like Gabriel and Beelzebub did. Gabriel and Beelzebub were in positions of power, and still wanted to uphold the status quo.

Aziraphale and Crowley, on the other hand, have only disrupted it, even while they were still trying to be loyal. These two are DANGEROUS for Heaven and Hell, and unless something changes, they can’t get the same opportunity that was dangled in front of them. No force in the universe would let that happen.

It would also be so out-of-character for Aziraphale not to fight for that happy ending. We saw that he was willing to declare war for the humans in his bookshop (when he exploded his halo), and he’s taken similar risks when he grabbed a gun from Shadwell and almost convinced himself to shoot a child.

I do think he has some lingering black-and-white thinking to work through, since he told Crowley he wanted to them to be angels, doing good, and that Crowley’s side was the “bad guys”. But he knows now that Heaven wants to cause another apocalypse, and Neil has also said they’re going to get their happy ending.

But I don’t think they can live in their cottage in South Downs unless something big changes. Given Aziraphale’s character traits and the position of power he’s in now, he’s the only one that can. And he has to, or he’s going to lose Crowley.

[prettysoftyellow]

Imagine Crowley leaving the bookshop one day, after him and Azi had some kind of arguement about their affiliation to hell and heaven, and Crowley was so mad that he went straight to the next church and graveyard he could find and started cursing out a Gabriel statue at some poor lads grave and out of nowhere the statue starts speaking to him. The demon obviously has a heartattack because he thinks it's the real Gabriel. But instead the statue starts laughing and the laugh sounds just so beautiful to Crowley. It's loud and kind of hard, not soft how some take angel laughs as, and then the laugh turns into a wheezing. All in all to most it's probably not a nice sounding laugh, more like rough and ugly but to Crowley. To the demon it sounds like the nebulas he created. Just pure perfection. And that's the moment he realises that this wasn't the loser Gabriel like he had thought but his handsome angel. Aziraphale, who was running right after the dark duke of hell just to allow himself a little fun as a way to apologize for fighting. Together they leave the graveyard and visit Give Me Coffee Or Give Me Death to have some tea and a 6 shot espresso...

[ineffableigh]

Timeline of Suspicious Events Brain Dump - PART 3

You know the drill at this point. Off we goooo! [Part 1][Part 2]

"Maggie and Nina are depending on me!" Azi's really drunk his own Kool-aid at this point, or he's putting on a complicated show to pretend this is a serious endeavor. Giving away a valuable book just to trick Heaven? Something's really not adding up.

Another weird noise for the logs: A bassy 'whoosh/boom' noise right after Mutt says he has anniversary dinner with his beloved spouse and the camera pans to Crowley. Not sure it means anything, but it did stand out to me lol.

Something that stands out to me a lot as well, assuming it was done deliberately (I don't know the actor) - Mutt seems to be having an awfully hard time handling the cards he's currently sorting. Like, after he says 'no' at first, I cannot figure out what he's trying to do with his right hand.

Also of note: The mysterious Bird Box is nowhere to be seen in the shop, even though MANY of the set items are identical to the 1941 scene. Where that bird at??

"Under no circumstances can I there be for tonight." ... what? This has to be on purpose, right? I'm digging, I know, but that's what we do here lol.

Big sad empty warehouse for the Demon Legions. Why on earth (or in Hell) is Hell so short staffed? Where them demons at?

DANGER...osity!

"I can only be there 'til 7" so that's a half hour window for the meeting, at least for Justine. Fair, she can only handle so much of Azi's painful French lol.

The metal barrier just outside the cafe is... awfully snake-y isn't it?

"Looking where the furniture isn't..." is definitely going to be VERY important. Crowley absolutely knows something about losing AND regaining memories and it's been telegraphed all season.

Michael has eye earrings! This feels like a huge tie-in with Maggie's all seeing eye necklace.

Skimming through the rest since I've gone through it multiple times through other posts, but quick takeaways include...

Ms Cheng looking at the Pub before she goes in. Suspicious given we know that's the Hellevator, but have no reason to believe she'd be looking for someone else coming from that direction as the cafe AND record store are the other way.

Mr Brown has to be suspicious because we HEAR him getting mulched by demons when he's taken, but he survives? WEIRD.

Maggie's main character moment as I mentioned in my 'Thoughts about Maggie' post.

Azi seems very genuine when explaining the Coffee Shop Love Plot to Nina, so maybe he really did believe he was helping. I don't get why they steamrolled past her already having a partner, both the lads knew it. It's weird for that much.

Maggie blankly standing by the open window in range of trash is weird, especially since she like Activates and Becomes Brave right after.

I do wonder... how does Shax know Maggie couldn't pay the rent? That seems awfully specific. Like REALLY specific.

Throne, Dominion or Higher Crowley - what a way to drop that info! That moment hits so hard lol.

"Institutional Problem" I wonder if we'll learn more about The Fall next season. What was it that actually triggered it (in this universe)?

I love that the archangels clearly interact with each other SO LITTLE that no one even knows if Gabriel actually has his own bloody desk lol. Talk about isolation.

Huh. I wonder why Shax didn't get discorporated by the Exploding Halo...

You know who else is wearing a damn turtleneck? SARAQUAEL. OOH. COVERT AGENT? HMMMM

No one looked at the damn box, I still can't believe it. Everyone was so busy Being In A Story that they didn't think of it lol.

Analysis of the last chunk of the episode has been done to death, so I'll finish by underlining that it's SO awfully convenient that Maggie INSISTED that she and Nina talk to "them" while Aziraphale was waylaid by the Metatron.

In fact, it's Very Fortunate that the Metatron made a point of going and sitting at JUSTINE'S CAFE out of sight of the bookshop AND Nina's Cafe. Otherwise Nina might have been like hey you, get in on this chat! Like he knew that was the plan...

Plus the fact that they do that even though Justine's cafe is clearly CLOSED. I doubt she'd be chill with that so I guess she's not around.

Anyway that's enough so here's the TLDR:

The Metatron pretty much just LETS Gabriel escape, knowing that the Archangels will go down and muddle about trying to investigate.

We still don't know why Michael thought they had the right to strike people from the Book of Life. The Metatron seems to think that's out of the question, so where did that idea come from in the first place? It was a major driver of the early plot this season.

It seems convenient that Maggie cried about Nina RIGHT before the Angels arrived to inspect the Jimbriel miracle, and then RIGHT AFTER THAT, Mr Brown (of Brown's World of Carpets) shows up to set up the venue. That alone, all happening in the span of maybe 15 minutes, is a LOT.

It really feels like much of the plot was specifically orchestrated to keep Aziraphale and Crowley apart and NOT TALKING to each other. They keep hiding shit from each other to protect each other, but just hamstring themselves.

[0owhatsamsays]

Good Omens Gods

I warn you, this will sound a little bit crazy, not so solid and it will be long, but hear me out! PLEASE! I need someone to hear this because if I am right, everything changes and I need to discuss it. The ball scene. Every time I watched it, something seemed off. But also, it looked familiar. I rewatched it several times until it hit me. If you have watched Supernatural and if you are a fan, then you must remember the episode with all the gods in the hotel. Dean and Sam were stuck in the hotel with them. There were Kali, Ganesh, etc. The ball could possibly be something similar! Listen, listen! They are stuck in the bookshop by Aziraphale's magic, just like Dean and Sam were stuck in the hotel. And all shopkeepers are actually different gods. Also, you all saw how suspicious was Ms. Cheng, right? When this hit me, I started digging. So! Firstly, I checked some famous gods and then the list of shops that Aziraphale is holding.

I think Mr. Mutt from the magic shop is Ganesh. The god with the elephant head. I went through the goddess Isis too, but what made me choose Ganesh is that he is often represented with lots of jewelry, and most importantly, his spouse. If he was Isis, his spouse had to be Osiris and his spouse doesn't give away any clues about being Osiris, but they have a serpent tattoo on their chest. And Ganesh is represented with the serpent Vasuki around him, so his spouse probably is Vasuki. His magic shop in Azi's list is "Goldstone's". I searched "Goldstone god" and the first thing that came up was many Ganesh figurines made of goldstone. And the lucky snake from the list is probably Vasuki.

We continue with Mr. Arnold. We don't know much about him besides he is a musician and a fan of Dr. Who. I just wrote "god of music" and the first that came up was Apollo. Now, Apollo was a musician and something like a doctor. He helped with herbs. See, there is a "herbalist" in the list. Also, Dr. Who - Doctor - got it? :D Moving on... Mrs. Sandwich. The only thing we know about her is that she is ... a seamstress. And the seamstresses worshipped Aphrodite, so maybe she's Aphrodite. EDIT: The other possibility is to be Freya from Norse mythology and we know Neil Gaiman has a book about it. She is almost the same. Also, it would explain the feathers on her head. Freya had a cloak made of falcon feathers. Next - Mr. Brown. He is most suitable to be Mercury: The name "Mercury" is possibly related to the Latin words merx ("merchandise"; cf. merchant, commerce, etc.), mercari (to trade), and merces (wages). Mercury was the god of financial gain, commerce, eloquence, messages, and communication. The most suspicious of all was Ms. Cheng. And we know nothing about her. Only that she is Chinese and has a husband. There is one goddess that makes some sense to be her. It's Chang'e. The names are close, and Chang'e doesn't care much about her husband. Long story short, he acquired two elixirs for immortality - one for him and one for her - but she drank both of them, leaving him with nothing. Why is this relevant? We see Ms. Cheng being rude to her husband in the X-ray deleted scenes. She even hit him with a fan.

Now, Maggie and Nina. I think Nina might be Kali. And I say it only because of her looks and because it is said that Kali was the goddess of death, time, and doomsday. And where does Nina work? Right! Give me coffee or give me death. What days are coming? Doomsday? I am gonna talk about time really soon in another post, so I won't go there now. As for Maggie, she was the toughest to guess, but probably Athena, because Nina described her as the bravest person and Athena is the goddess of bravery and the goddess of war. Maggie is the one who invited the demons in and fought with them. Another thing about her is that she said she had brothers. Athena has more than 20 siblings. Also, one symbol of Athena is the olive tree.

I think there is no need to explain what I am showing you here, right? Oh, and one more thing about Nina, which I am not sure about because I can't see it well - at the bottom of Azi's list, about Nina's coffee shop he wrote just "No coffee". At least this is how I read it. Only death then? Kali - death?

Only Justine from Marguerite's and the Italian on the list - I have no idea. Maybe I will find something with time, or if you have read the whole thing and think you can help me figure it out - great! I will be waiting. But if all this turns out to be true, it will explain why everything seems a little bit staged, off, strange, or whatever you want to call it.

[angelshiraeth]

@writingperhaps ; NIGHTMARE: for one muse to comfort the other after a nightmare. (Nina & Azi)

Angels didn't need to sleep. It was unnecessary for their health, deemed a waste of time. But spending so long living amongst humans causes you to pick up some habits – Aziraphale tried sleeping once, and before he knew it the angel was sleeping every night. As it turned out, even if they didn't require it, sleeping did help to boost an angel's energy.

Dreaming was also a pleasant discovery. Aziraphale didn't dream all the time, but every so often, he would be graced with one. However, getting a nightmare was new. The angel didn't even remember falling asleep at his desk – not until he was jerking awake, cheeks soaked with tears, and a burning sensation settled into his chest.

It made the bookshop seem suffocating – with its high shelves of books and low-lighting from the evening sun. Aziraphale was operating on autopilot when he left the bookshop – he didn't even have his coat on! – and rushed across the street to ' Give me coffee or give me death. '

The coffee shop was empty ( it was closing time after all ) but the angel hardly noticed as he pushed through the door, one hand clutching at his chest.

[sam-writesstuff]

Family (Crowley x reader x Aziraphale)

Requested: Hey! I was wondering if you could write a fic with a teen!reader where she spends a lot of time with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're like protective dads over her. One day the angels/demons take her to try and get information about Crowley and Aziraphale, obviously they rescue her and they don't want her to bother with them anymore because they don't want her to get hurt so she yells at them?? Very angsty with a lovely fluffy ending xo

Warnings: Ignorant family, Slight child abuse. 

Word Count: 1899

A/N: I know I said I will post a fic last weekend, but due to some technical issues with my computer, I wasn’t able to finish this ‘til today... I’m sorry🥺School’s kind of dragging me behind with literally everything I enjoy doing;( Learning is important, but I miss the days I can just go anywhere and do anything whenever I wanted to😩 I didn't expect this to be turned into a series... But I guess it is? I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

---

Life wasn't fair. 

You learned this way to young. Your mother hated you, specifically because her own life was ruined in the result of your birth. Your father was selfish and ignorant; an arsehole. Weird enough, you couldn't bring yourself to blame either of them. Your mom was a poor victim of society, and your father was a victim to his father. Not enough reason to abandon a child, but the world you lived in taught you things that most people learn in their thirties. When they got divorced, you were handed to your grandmother. When she died, you were handed to your aunt. Handed, like an object. Like a hot potato, keep being passed on and on until the music stopped playing. When you realized that you can decide when to stop your music, you didn't linger longer. You were around thirteen when you first tried to escape from your aunt. 

It was freezing that night. The night was so, so cold. Everything moved slowly, but you kept walking. You didn't have much on you, and you weren't sure what you needed to do now. You were lost. You thought walking might lead you to somewhere. Anywhere. It was devastating. London was huge. Even so, not a single place in this city had a room for you. You once saw the news on the tv inside a store use the word 'overpopulation,' and how the world was so crowded. You wondered if that is why there wasn't any place for you. 

'God created everyone for a reason, there is a place for everyone in this world.' 

Your grandmother was very forgetful. She sometimes forgot that its morning and tried to put you back into bed. Or wake you up in the middle of the night thinking its morning. She sometimes forgot how to use the bathroom. She sometimes thought she was in someplace else and kept screaming. The rare amount of times when she wasn't, she always told you that God created everyone for a reason, and there is a place for everyone in this world. You never took her word for it, but you truly wished for it to be true at this moment. If it was true, now was the time to prove it.

The bookshop across the street was the only place that had lights on. Every other store on the street was closed. You could've gone over to a cafe that was a few blocks away, but you didn't. It was as if you were possessed by something. You were like the little girl that sold matches and the bookshop was what lit up at your sight. That should be the place. That had to be the place. You entered the bookshop and a gentleman with golden hair came out. 

"Hello, I'm afraid we are quite definitely clo- oh, dear. Are you all right?" 

"I-I'm sorry. The lights were on and I - Ah, achoo!" 

"No, it's not a problem. Please, you can sit here." 

The man offered you a sit on a chair. Honestly, you didn't know what else you could do but to sit. There was nowhere else for you to go. Nowhere else for you sit. This was at least somewhere. 

"Tell me, my child. Where are your parents?" 

You hesitated. If you tell him the truth, will he let you stay? Will he care? He might call the police. What will happen to you then?

You were foolish. You thought escaping would help, only to lead you nowhere but to leave you to freeze to death. 

"Do you have nowhere to go?"

He asked softly. Soft enough to get an unwanted child talking.  No matter how high your walls were, that was all it took to collapse. But you knew this. You tried to avoid a direct answer, still, you couldn't resist the tears that formed in your eyes. 

You expected more questioning from him, but he asked you none. Instead, he let you stay in the store for the night. The next morning, he made you promise to come back. 

"Angels will watch over you," he said. 

You didn't say anything back. Not a typical phrase you think you'd hear from a stranger. What a weird man, you thought. But then you came back because you were desperate. And every time he welcomed you with a warm heart. He seemed glad to see you again. You talked, he listened. He helped you, he took care of you. 

"What is your name, my dear?" 

"Y/N," you didn't say your last name on purpose. You didn't like it. Those people weren't even your family. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I'm Aziraphale." 

Aziraphale. You saw the name before. Yes, you saw it and not heard it. In the bible. In the dirty, old, dark room you and your grandmother lived, she kept a bible. She'd sometimes read it out loud to you. You were too hungry to care. However, to your curiosity, you had opened it before. 

Not long after you met Aziraphale, you met Crowley. You were terrified of him at first. You swore you saw him yelling at plants once. 

Then one day, Crowley came to your school to see the Christmas play you starred in. You have been working on it for months, and although you weren't the main character, you enjoyed playing your role. You didn't even bother to tell your aunt about it. Instead, you asked Aziraphale if he could come and watch. He said yes, of course. Sadly, on the day of your play, a very important customer to Aziraphale came to the bookshop. Having to deal with him, Aziaraphale couldn't make it to your play. Not knowing that, you waited for him to enter through the door. Your eyes searched among the crowds, but he was nowhere to be seen. Nowhere.

More parents entered, each time waving at their kid on the stage. Some held flowers, probably to give them afterward. 

"Uh, my mum is holding a camera," Harry, who stood beside you, grumbled at the sight. 

"What's wrong with a camera?" You asked. You couldn't understand. What was wrong with a mum trying to savior a memory of her child?

"It is embarrassing. She'll show it to everyone at the Christmas dinner," Harry stated annoyingly. Almost like asking for sympathy. As if you are supposed to feel the same way. As if you too, had such a caring mother who would come to watch your play and record it for showing off purposes. 

"Where is your mum?" Harry asked. It is these simple questions that hurt you the most. All of the assumptions, all of the conditions to be defined as a normal kid. What you hated, even more, is yourself wishing for your mother to enter from that door any moment now, and apologize. 

"I-" You hear a large creek when you opened your mouth to answer. The door swung opened and entered a very familiar-looking person. Crowley.  

Besides the dramatic entrance, he was a very unlike figure to be seen at a school play.  Flaming red hair, wearing entirely black with usual sunglasses; his posture, in general, had a weird aurora. Parents stared at him with questioning eyes and so did you. You queried why he was there, he didn't appear like a parent. He marched over to you, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a large bouquet.

"I am not late, am I?" Crowley said as he looked around the room, "Is the play already over?" 

"No," you took a moment before answering him. You were confused. "It hasn't even started yet. Where is Azi?" 

"Aziraphale couldn't make it, had an important customer to deal with. Wanted me to tell you how sorry he was." 

Disappointed look spread on your face. It wasn't his fault, you knew that. Though, that didn't stop you from being upset. You'll just leave as fast as you can after the play. Your friends will want to take pictures with you but... Well, you didn't have anyone to take the photo for you. If you leave fast enough, you'll be able to avoid all the questions. 

"Don't be so gloomy about it. I'm here."

You looked up at Crowley with unbelieving eyes. "You are not going to leave?"

"What? No. Why do you think I came here in the first place?"

Your teacher announced that the play was starting soon, and Crowley went to find a seat. When he did found a sit, he took his phone out. You expected him to be on his phone instead of focusing on your play, but to your surprise, his camera lens landed on you. Later, himself joined other crowds of parents who scooched in the front row as quietly as possible trying to get the best shot of their children. 

When the play ended, he whistled loudly. It was the loudest whistle you've ever heard in your life. He had a bright smile onㅡalmost grinningㅡand you've never seen him smile so widely. A proud smile. A kind of smile you've never gotten it before. You ran down the stairs after the final bow, towards Crowley and you hugged him tightly. He seemed stunned by your sudden action since you always hid behind Aziraphale whenever you saw him, but he patted on your shoulder in return. 

"This is for you, by the way," he said, handing you the bouquet. Your smile widened at it. The flowers were beautiful. 

Your friends ran over to you, wanting to take pictures with you. Their parents followed with their cameras. You looked up nervously at Crowley, but he was already taking his phone out. When all the picture fiasco was done, he took your hand and led you out to his car. 

"I know my way home. I can walk home," you said but then hopped onto his car. 

"Aziraphale is treating us dinner," Crowley answered fastening your seatbelt. 

"Really?" Your face lightened up in excitement. A family dinner. Something you've never experienced before. 

"Yes. Do you know your aunt's number? I'll call her," he handed you his phone from the driver's seat. 

"I do, but I don't think you need to. Don't worry, she won't care," you didn't take his phone, knowing that she wouldn't care either way. She didn't the day you ran out of the house. She didn't when you came back, so why would she start caring now? 

However, Crowley looked rather disturbed. He didn't say anything, and with his sunglasses, it was almost impossible to read him. You were greeted with Aziraphale when you arrived. 

"Oh, hello, my dear. I deeply apologize for not being able to-" 

"It's okay. Look! Crowley gave me flowers!" 

"They look wonderful," he smiled at you softly before turning to Crowley. His face expression changed quickly and his voice deepened in a serious tone. "Did you film her as I asked you to?"

"Yes, yes. I did. Now come on, she must be starving." 

After this day, you considered Crowley as your family along with Aziraphale. 

You promised to yourself every single day, that one day, you'll give it all back to them. All the kindness they showed, all the things they gave you. You'll pay them back. 

You never thought that your existence would endanger them, or that their existence would endanger you.

[wanna-b-poet31]

A (maybe) 4-part meta on Good Omens: Part 1: Aziraphale’s Abuse and Trauma

SOOOOO I promised myself I wouldn’t get too obsessed with Good Omens but I’ve got some meta-thoughts. 

So, it’s no secret that abuse is prevalent in Good Omens, but the methods of abuse are interesting ultimately working as a catalyst for how Crowley and Aziraphale interact with humans, Heaven, Hell, and each other. 

Several of the characters we see in Good Omens are traumatized by the time we meet them, although some more than others. For example, Newt, for what little we see him is clearly ostracized by everyone around him and he shows signs of trauma via isolation. Until the end of the world, it’s heavily implied that he’s bullied, if not dismissed from the rest of the world due to his explosive tendencies with computers. He’s not shown to have healthy coping skills with the isolation, and although it is ultimately good he doesn’t get his job, and works with Shadwell, and meets Anathema, but he’s unable to express himself in a healthy way or handle his past.  Similarly, due to the stress of saving the world, Anathema is traumatized by the expectations of her family, of being a “descendant” of Agnes Nutters.  

But, both begin recovery journeys by beginning to assert their own needs and well-being. Newt begins forming real, relationships and coping with his loneliness by making friends and Anathema defies her family’s obligation by burning the letters. Overall, it’s a straightforward approach to begin recovering from traumatic events. 

However, Crowley and Aziraphale do not have quite as straightforward a narrative. 

Heaven is unbending. It is clear to both of them that God and her representatives punish independence, asking questions, and having any defined version of a “self”. 

Look at the photo below. It’s an environment that (per my last post) is cold, abusive, and really, isn’t a functional space. Nothing can get done reasonably in here. There aren’t any personal touches and it makes the space devoid of any sense of home. AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HEAVEN, land of milk and honey Heaven. It’s not just bland, it’s much more insidious than that. It’s false transparency, a “nothing to see here” mask that the angels use to belittle, attack, and intimidate each other. 

Then there’s the messy business of the dogmatism Heaven follows that affects Aziraphale throughout the series. We see it first in the garden that questions (a la Crowley) lead to abandonment. The fear of falling, of knowingly being discarded by people/entities that supposedly love one another is a violent space to grow up in and incentivizes the remaining angels to keep their head down and not question actions that are clearly wrong. It is Crowley who asks why it would be okay to kill kids (because it’s clearly wrong) to which Aziraphale responds: “I’m not consulted about policy decisions”. It’s clear that 1000 year after the garden he’s internalizing his conditioning. 

His behavior, especially coming from THE angel who gave away his flaming sword without any hesitation and then LIED to God about it, shows that he clearly knows right from wrong is jarring. But, it’s unsurprising, given the abusive place he is attached to. Heaven’s love for him is conditional and wholly dependant on him being able to do as he’s told, not what might be right. 

It’s also clear that Aziraphale is being abused during the events of the series. While not always physically violent (although I’ll get to that in a second), he is continuously belittled and degraded. 

Take a look at Heaven’s least favorite Asshole: Gabriel

When we are introduced to Gabriel the first few things out of his mouth are insults. Although we’ve had Aziraphale for only like 5 seconds and we already can tell how passionate he is about food. Aziraphale is eating sushi, presumably a favorite food given his familiarity with the chef, and taking some time for himself, and like a good family member offers some to his “fellow”, his “ally”, an entity who supposedly had his back. When the food is refused, it’s presented with a dismissive tone and called “gross matter” that would “sully” his body.  This is is a smack in the face to Aziraphale and he quickly lies, saying he’s only eating to keep up appearances. This shutdown of interests and likes pushes Aziraphale to be like Newt, ostracized from people who are supposed to be his friends. Then, like Anathema, his exposure to the “great plan” and what is expected of an angel is villanizes his interests, causing him to feel shame and associate his individuality and sense of the self with “wrong” or “broken”. 

This differs greatly from how Crowley and Aziraphale meet. Although we see Crowley tempt eve, they talk to each other as equals and Crowley does the one thing Heaven has never done -- tell him he’s doing a good job. There is no harm in eating or enjoying eating but he’s being treated like he’s committing some kind of sin. Crowley, in contrast, reaffirms Aziraphale’s actions and helps relieve his concerns. Gabriel, instead, aggravates his anxiety.

Then, we see Gabriel do one of the more insidious discreditings of Aziraphale’s sense of self at the bookstore.  Whereas Crowley is able to tell when there are new books in the shop and knows that losing the shop is a significant loss for Aziraphale, Gabriel can’t be bothered (more on that at the end). At some level, it’s his disdain for humanity that makes him indifferent at best about the bookstore. But, his disregard for Aziraphale’s livelihood, something that is a clear point of pride and joy, is belittling. He is demanding that Aziraphale drop everything he loves to fight the great war, and while asking to fight is not intrinsically abusive (Crowley too asks Azi to join him and fight), the dynamic is not of equals with the same motivations, rather it is clearly meant to be talking down to Aziraphale. Gabriel sees no value in the shop or his “brother” and if he can’t see it there must not be any. The blow to Aziraphale’s emotional state is apparent in the grimace he gives the two angels. 

Even when Aziraphale, (who does his best to uphold what he has been conditioned to be “right” and after many millennia has grown to trust Gabriel despite no reciprocation) DOES go to Heaven with a plan, news about where the anti-christ is and how to stop it, or push him to be neither satan no saint, he’s met with more belittlement. None of the angels at the meeting believe that Aziraphale can accomplish his goals, but worst than that, none of them are willing to give him the support he needs to achieve his goal. Sure they don’t smite him where he stands for purposing an alternative to the end of the world, but that’s not the same as being a support system he can rely on. He can’t even voice here the reasons why he cares so deeply about Earth or why they may be wrong. He is not their equals in their eyes. 

You can also see it at the park when Gabriel and Aziraphale are running, and Gabriel punches his stomach, telling our adorable angel he needs to lose the gut, devaluing Aziraphale’s worth further. Even the face he makes in the gif below is filled with condescension. He’s not taking Aziraphale, or Aziraphale’s concerns seriously. 

Which brings me to the final nail in Heaven’s abusive coffin via Gabriel. The intended violence of his “sentence” is meant to, like the fall, strike the fear of abandonment, disownment, and death into Aziraphale. There is no scenario (except the one we see) where Aziraphale is meant to make it out of Heaven alive. 

After Armaggeddon’t Gabriel, who knows Aziraphale’s intentions of diverting the apocalypse, if perhaps not the rationale, is pleased to belittle the restrained Aziraphale. There is legit joy in his face when they force Aziraphale to walk into the hellfire. 

In the above gif, you can see that not only is he being verbally abusive, throwing ill-intent insults at Aziraphale, but that he fully expects the fire to kill his supposed brother and PLEASED about it.  

LET ME REPEAT THAT. The place/people who Aziraphale is supposed to love, trust, and be loyal to are ready, and happy to, drop him at a moment’s notice. At this point, considering the layers of abuse already outlined, Aziraphale’s insistence that he can’t be on Crowley’s side because Heaven wouldn’t like it is symptomatic of someone who is longing for a genuine, honest connection and has been “raised” to believe that is Heaven, no questions allowed.   

this is not to say Heaven isn’t above physical abuse towards Aziraphale.

I’ve seen some excellent metas floating around dissecting the Crowley vs. Aziraphale  and the Angel’s vs. Aziraphale “intimidation” (although I can’t find them now, please @ them if you know them) and the bottom line is that Aziraphale is terrified by Uriel and her legion of Angels much more than Crowley ever could. Aziraphale is damn well aware of how violent the angels who aren’t even touching him can be vs. his calm response to Crowley pushing him against a wall. 

Which brings me back to Crowley and Aziraphale. Although I can (and will) do another one of these on Crowley, and dive deeper into the implications of their relationship and the closure they need/got by being on their own side. I want to take a second to articulate just how much Crowley does not (try) to do be this way to Aziraphale. 

I maintain that Crowley, is aware of Heaven’s abusive tendencies due to his fall and the subsequent fear that must have caused other angels, I do not think he’s aware of the levels of mental, verbal, and emotional abuse that heaven throws Aziraphale specifically. The way Aziraphale talks up heaven, you’d suspect he was getting awards left and right, or at least some semblance of respect. But no. In stark contrast to Gabriel, Crowley will entertain Aziraphale’s interests/passions like food and books even if they aren’t something he indulges in often himself. Whereas I said earlier Gabriel dismissed the bookshop and presupposed it was something Aziraphale would be able to drop like a rock, Crowley KNOWS that Aziraphale cares so deeply for his books, his food, and his identity as an angel, that losing any of them would be unbearable. Although Crowley pushes and sometimes goes too fast for Aziraphale, he’s not approaching Aziraphale in bad faith. 

Of the 10 observed historical meetings, we see Crowley initiate at least 6 of them (it could be said the Victorian meeting is also Crowley’s doing, but the jury is out about who called that particular meeting as Aziraphale walks toward Crowley first in that scene). We also see Crowley go out of his way to do things that make the Angel comfortable and does not once break his trust. Although he storms out 3 times in the show, he always uses it as breathing room, before once again seeking Aziraphale out, and doing his best to work on their relationship AS EQUALS. Their dynamic (Which I’ll go into more later) is not on uneven footing, and both parties treat the other with a kindness neither of them is offered by their respective worlds.  

TLDR: Crowley’s love for Aziraphale helps heal him from the abuses of Heaven

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[malereader-inserts]

How to Date a Human

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Crowley x Male!Reader x Aziraphale Summary: You have to admit, they’re pretty good boyfriends - you just wonder how they do it. Word Count: 2,568 A/n: I know I said I’ll do Mikaelsons for today, but I wanted to do this as a self-indulgent fic. I also said this would be a series but I decided against it also you’re a badass hunter with added upgrades lol, my mind is wild and I can’t stop until I write it. Might do a part two of this tho just to keep me happy

Part Two

When they met you, they thought you were the most adorable human being to ever exist, as they progressively got to know you, you were more dangerous than they thought, at least for a human.

You were a hunter, a pretty good one whilst you’re at it, known throughout the supernatural. You don’t associate yourself with angel business and demon stuff was sketchy that admittedly, you’ve had your share of run-ins. The supernatural was a nightmare for the almighty and the fact that a human was keeping it sane, on the down low and in control. God, herself, praised you for your work and decided to gift you.

You were, after all, her favourite human. 

So, you became immortal but the catch was that you still have to experience everything a human does and if you were to get injured, you cannot be healed, if you were to go to a witch. 

You’ve been dating Crowley and Aziraphale for some time now, six months of dating and a year of being friends with you. They’ve told you their secret and you’ve told your part. You three had no secrets to hide away from each other. 

Other than, the fact the two have a rule book they’ve written just about you. Affectionately called “How to Date a Human.” They have a lot of details, in case if they forget to take care of you seeing you are still human and therefore a little bit more fragile. Death is easier to grab you despite your immortality. You were immortal, not invincible.

You’d never admit, when the two were off busy for the week, you found the book. You found it touching and put it back in its place after reading some of its contents. (and yes, it does have an index page, made by Crowley himself.)

1. Make sure (Y/n) gets enough sleep.

This was the first rule made in the book, the two had noticed that you were seeing them more tired to the point you could fall asleep at your feet. You’ve out and about will latest hunts and peace treaties, they weren’t exactly knowing your sleeping pattern and they haven’t seen you for two weeks. But, from your dark eye bags and frequent yawning

They kept giving each other side-eyes, watching you sway in the middle of the bookshop.

“Alright, that’s it!” Crowley exclaims, holding you firmly at the shoulders.

“Hmh, what?” You asked, yawning, your eyes slowly shutting and then opening.

“Come ‘ere!” Crowley pulls you by the arm.

“Be careful with him, my dear boy!” Aziraphale exclaims, following the two of you into the back room. 

Crowley flops onto the sofa, then tugging you down, catching you effortlessly as you lie on top of him. Aziraphale chuckles as he kneels by you, stroking your hair as you sighed wistfully. You slowly snaked your arms around Crowley and pressed yourself closer, earning a chuckle from him.

Slowly you fell asleep, the even breathing escapes you as Crowley and Aziraphale smiled at each other at their exhausted human. That was the first time they have seen you so exhausted. 

Then it became a habit, Aziraphale had to lead you to the backroom whenever you turned up and he could see your shoulders heavy with tiredness, he’ll close the shop and hold you dear to him as he reads to you. Crowley would let you sleep in the Bentley, sometimes, if you’re around about, he’ll drive around in circle hoping it lulls you to sleep.

They always call you up at night to make sure you’re in bed and talk at you until they hear your snores.

They make sure to keep track of your sleeping habits, making sure you don’t oversleep but when needed they leave you be. You appreciate it, really you do, time is no longer a problem for you anymore but your health is always a top priority for them.

Plus, the love seeing you sleepy you get more affectionate. 

“How much sleep have you gotten last night, love?” Crowley asked just as you enter the bookshop with a cheerful smile, “By the looks of it, enough.”

“You worry too much,” You teased as you squeezed his cheeks.

“We worry just the right amount, and rightly so,” Aziraphale mentions shutting a book he was right in - the start of the rule book dedicated to you, wagging his finger at you as you beamed at him.

“I know,” You hummed, “And that’s why I love you two.”

2. Make sure (Y/n) eats.

Not your fault you forget to eat, when you’re busy and lose the track of time you forget to eat. And when you do, it’s not necessarily healthy. 

“I got’s to go,” You say, pulling your bag over your shoulder as Aziraphale knits his eyebrows together.

He had noticed you had just woken up, your hair still dishevelled and shirt ruffled, you kissed his temple as he looks at you questioningly, a slimy little bastard with his judgmental look. 

“What?”

“You haven’t eaten breakfast!” The angel asserts loudly as you shake your head, heaving out a sigh heavily.

“I’ll eat, I promise!” You say, kissing him again, “Bye, honey!”

You slam the door of your apartment, leaving the angel terribly confused. By the looks of it, you were going too busy for the day so there was no point in expecting you to join Crowley and Aziraphale to lunch that day. Whilst Aziraphale was busy during the night, Crowley was there at your apartment for your arrival.

“Heya darling!” You waved, passionately kissing him upon entrance, “How’s your day?”

Crowley shrugs his shoulders, “Could be better, hunter,” As he watches you pull off your shoes as he narrows his eyes towards you, “Angel told me to ask about what you’ve eaten today.”

“Oh,” You paused, “I haven’t.”

“You’re stupid,” Crowley announced, standing up and throwing the shoes you’ve just pulled off, “Come on we’re getting McDonald's.”

You looked at him blankly, “I don’t want McDonald's.”

“Well, do you have food here?” He snaps at you, you looked unphased as you crossed your arms over your chest like a little child, “Exactly, that’s mah point!”

“I want Subway,” You say, pouting as he raises his eyebrow above his sunglasses, “What? It’s healthy!”

“Heugh-!” He splutters and he starts making his classic noises as you wait for him to finish his outburst, “Healthy!? If I recall you haven’t eaten food and you’re talking about being healthy!”

“I...Yeah?” You sounded unsure but you could feel your demon glaring daggers at you as he yanks your arm, “Wait! I haven’t put my shoes on!”

With ease, he flings you over his shoulder, grumbling as you crossed your arms over your chest as Crolwy have a hold of your shoes. 

“Nice arse, babe.”

“Hey!” Crowley exclaims, but you couldn’t see there was a smug smile on his face as he puts you into the passenger seat and gives you your shoes.

You hated being in the car when Crowley drove and you always try and not get weirded out as he watched you eat. You huffed as you wiped your mouth and finished your foot-long sub before he pushed over six inches sub towards you.

“Hey, don’t glare at me, if it was Aziraphale he would be taking you out for a three-course meal,” Crowley shrugs as he picks up the sub and tries to force-feed you.

“I will bite you.”

“Do it, I dare you,” He hissed, knowing that he was challenging you behind his sunglasses.

You snatched the sub out of his hand and munched away with a mouth full of food., “You haven’t told Ariza, have you?”

“Manners!” You jumped at the new voice, you huffed as Aziraphale sits down in between you and Crowley. You give him a tight smile as he looks at you with a stern look, “You’re unbelievable!”

“I forgot!” 

“It’s substantial for a human, sweetheart, only an idiot would-”

“I already heard this from Crowley, I don’t need your bitchness,”

“You will get it-”

“Uh no-”

The three of you started to bicker as you continue to eat, since then, Aziraphale makes sure you text you incisively to eat and gives you disapproving looks when you’re eating unhealthily, though he will always make room for dessert with you.

3. If he returns injured, DO NOT scowl at him (if needed; do it lightly) and always tend to him because he would not do it himself

It was clear to the boys that you sometimes come home minorly injured, some cuts and bruises you couldn’t handle. They wish they could miracle it away but due to your agreement, you have to suffer.

So, every wince, every huff of pain, each complains, they also have to suffer with you. They hated seeing you in pain, even if was nothing. Sometimes you try to hide it but one of them always catch on.

However, the first time you came home with more than minor injuries. The two freaked out. You were gone for some expedition to calm down some werewolves and you had silver to warn them. You were sure you stopped the bleeding of the scratch, and you were luckily not bitten as you slowly make your way to your apartment, not noticing the Bentley parked nearby.

You opened the door of your apartment and stepped in, tiredly looking at your boyfriends.

You put your bag down and stumble over your feet as you felt some hands catch you, “Thanks Aziraph- Azi-A-,”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” He interrupts you, looking at Crowley desperately as the demon was seething in his spot.

“Have I ever mention that I fucking hate werewolves?”

Crowley moves towards you and picks you up, gritting his teeth as you wince loudly. Aziraphale snaps his fingers as the three of you arrived at your bathroom, the tub slowly filling up with hot water and helped you to get rid of the bloody coat and shirt off you.

You sat on the side of the tub, whilst Crowley and Aziraphale stood before you.

“What were you thinking?” Crowley started to scowl, pulling out a first aid kit whilst your angel runs a hand through your hair whilst kissing you tenderly, “Going out knowing there was a full moon.”

“Very irresponsible of you!” Aziraphale added his two cents, “I thought you know better!”

“You could have been killed, you’re not invincible-!” The demon continues as you flinched when he started to stitch put your cut, “That’s what you get!”

You looked up to them as they paused, your eyes looking so fed up. You swallow and look guilty, though you looked so exhausted of just existing at that moment as you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, your voice broke at the end and letting out an uneven breath. 

“You just have to be more careful, (Y/n),” Aziraphale softly hums, as Crowley continues to stitch you up so carefully that you won’t flinch.

“We’re aware it’s your job, but,” Crowley struggles to speak honestly, he struggles to be soft.

“You have to come home to us, and seeing you injured...well.”

“It’s hard when we can’t miracle you better.”

The two looks at you as you looked down, looking at your shaky hands - that’s what blood loss does, “Lets clean you up then?”

You allowed yourself to get assisted to stripped as your boyfriends lavish you. Your skin scalding due to the hot waters before getting used to the temperature. Aziraphale washes your hair as Crowley lathes you, discovering smaller cuts and bruises appearing on your body.

After that, they help you get dressed comfy whilst Crowley miracles your hair dry and leading you to your bed, which was a super king bed. You lie in the middle as you shut your eyes, hoping to block the pain.

Your boyfriends lie beside you, unable to sleep as you sleep because they were more concerned about you. 

So, they vowed that you would never take of yourself so they had to do it. Most of the time when you come back pretty nastily, they remind you how they need you to come home safe but always drop compliments, or close to compliments in Crowley’s situation.

4. What to do when he has a bad day.

Aziraphale's handwriting is pretty, you think now as you stare at the writing in the book. 

There was just a list of what to do when you have a bad day, not that you have many. Also, it’s subjective to each person to what is a bad day. A sad bad day or an angry bad day differ immensely, however, Aziraphale had listed different days and what to do, which by the looks of it Crowley has taken a look of it far too many times till he got it memorized.

If he’s sad, get him to the closest soft surface. Such as a bed or sofa, even your lap.

You like sitting on the angel’s lap because he had a little more weight, you liked cuddling up to him. 

Don’t force him to speak, let him tell you when ready. (I mean it, Crowley!)

You smirked when you see the little note to Crowley, Crowley gets impatient most of the time, but as he continues to date you, his patience with you grows and his patience with Aziraphale decreases.

Cuddles! Lots of them, stroke his hair, traces on his skin, just hold him! 

Affection, if there is a medal or trophy you could give to Aziraphale because he's so soft and always a sucker for affection. Crowley likes affection when it’s for him, he struggles to give back, so if you’re the one who reaches out for him then he’ll happily give it to you but he would never insinuate it.

If it’s an angry bad day, let him blow off some steam (that does not mean you can go make him do something illegal, Crowley)

There was that one time, Crowley almost convinced you to start a fight to release your anger before Aziraphale came to the rescue. Now, you go punch a punching bag at the gym if needed, they leave you be for a few hours to let you cool down.

If it’s a frustration bad day, well, the handwriting changes to Crowley’s, let him steam it off with sex! (or alcohol) - only with his permission, obviously.

You chuckled at the demon’s eagerness for sex and alcohol, but also respectful of your boundaries and such. You were even amused that Aziraphale had not crossed out Crowley’s suggestion because it was true.

You shut the book and put it away. There were a few more rules added with the scrawls of your boyfriends, but you couldn’t possibly have the time to read all of them. You tapped your finger against the wooden desk, you looked at the book with narrowed eyes, upon the shelves wedged in between with other books owned by your angel.

You picked up your bag and checked how much money you have as you made your way to the nearest supermarket for a book also. Clean and ready for your ink to spill.

And you would affectionately call it: How to Date a Demon and an Angel.

You might have to change the “A Demon and an Angel” Bit to something shorter, it’s a working process.

[agentredfort]

I feel like Hitch would be Azi over Froghorn.

i haven’t read Good Omens for an age and I haven’t got around to watching the tv series either so, take all this with a grain of salt ‘cause i’m doin it from memory. sorry to @blackers-donuts for hijacking your AU

i was actually suggesting Blacker as Az and Froghorn as Crowley believe it or not. fghjk it’s late and i’m tired. blacker gives off cheerful eccentric bookshop owner vibes and froghorn might be the most aggressively petty demon in existence but also the most well organized. However Hitch as Aziraphale and Blacker as Crowley is also very good indeed. 

.......Blacker just doesn’t give off demonic vibes tho. that’s the only issue i’m having here. he’s just a very good sweet boy who i can’t see ever being demonlike. ahhhhhhhhh help

also who’s Anathema and those other characters I am no doubt forgetting about. and where’s LB??

Ruby & co as Them is something i am now behind. and honestly antichrist!Ruby is growing on me god she’s such a force of chaos already can you imagine what she’d be like with godlike powers.

the four horsepeople of the apocalypse are probably some combination of the RR villains, yeah? the Australian might be War, i’m thinking the Count is probably Death

[biuebirdy]

Fire & Feather a Good Omens Fanfic

Hi everyone! I just posted a new Good Omens fanfic on A03 If you want to read it over there please click the [Link] If you really enjoy this fanfic, please consider buying me a coffee it would definitely help me create more for you, but is 100% not necessary! [Link]

Nothing felt as utterly fantastic as the feeling of lips trailing down the back of his pale neck, drawing a soft purr from the throat of Azi, the twin tattoos symmetrical across his spine, resembling what some people from the Japanese region might call 'chibi' seemed to flutter on his skin like a moving photograph as the familial purr of a British sounding demon danced across his ear.

"You know Crowley, there are much easier ways to wake someone up then gentle kisses and a sweet sound." Azi's voice was like the soft tinkling of a bell, his eyes meeting the golden snakeish ones his lover possessed. Aziraphale was laying on his front, the arm of his lover in a vice-like grip to his naked chest, feeling the so-called 'glow' humans got after a night of...the angel blushed, lovemaking. Crowley leaned over him, trailing kisses along the curved edges of the cartoonish looking white wings, unable to help himself when he saw the usually so prim and proper angel covered with barely more than a comforter, the curves of that sexy arse of his blushing almost as pink as his angel's cheeks were. Thanks to a few punishing spanks the angel had asked for quite explicitly.

"Pfft, and miss the opportunity to see this? You look good enough to eat, wanna go for round two, or does the holy spirit still need a recharge?" Crowley's fingers held up the angel's chin a few fingers holding his jaw in a firm but loving embrace. Yet, Azi found himself laughing quietly again like he was afraid a sound too loud would break the moment they were having together, six thousand years and it still felt so fresh in his mind knowing his demon loved him, though saying it was so embarrassing for him. The angel sat up, unabashedly, his naked body sat for full view, bite marks and hickeys and scratches from his demon littering his pale skin. Crowley paused in his tracks, and an odd well of possessive pride gripped his chest, something he knew usually was exclusive to humans...yet he knew of a demon or two that would kill for their mate, given the chance, or not, demons were the jealous sort. Azi's pink cheeks went to a near cherub red when Crowley reached a few fingers forward and drew his warmer than average fingertips down a scratch on Aziraphale's ribs, shuddering softly when Azi smiled in a way that asked with no words if he liked the view he had. The demon knew him so well...he nodded without the words ever having to be spoken aloud, something Aziraphale was quietly proud of. The silence stretched on, but it never grew stale or awkward as the moment turned loving on its heel. The angel leaned forward in the quiet, and pressed his pale lips to Crowley's chapped and rougher ones, breaking the spell when he grew too embarrassed to take much more of the other man's roaming eyes. Crowley closed his eyes immediately, before he pressed back, his hand finding its way to Azi's curly white locks, holding him firmly in place, before he pulled back, smiling to his angel. Aziraphale paused when his demon didn't speak, and moved to kiss him though it was odd he was being held back, Azi gently touched Crowley's hand on the back of his hair and started to speak. "Love? What's going on-" Suddenly as if out of nowhere, the gut feeling you have when you fall suddenly gripped him like an ice cold fear, and the back of Aziraphale's chair slammed into the ground of the bookshop making him cry out in fear and confusion. The Angel sat up after a few minutes, looking around, he touched his cheek feeling dried drool there, feeling it warm up like a sudden blaze when he realized what...exactly he had been dreaming of...his best...friend, his...Aziraphale blushed even harder, and sat up on the back of his chair, covering his face in his hands he groaned, embarrassment more intense than any human could handle coursing through his veins. "When did I turn into such an...embarrassment..." He whispered to himself, hoping silently, berating himself would make the implications of such a well...thought out dream would just disappear with the reality it came with. After a minute, Azi stood, brushing off his coat, with a quick glance in the almost ancient mirror that hung on one of his less cluttered walls. He took a long shaky breath, trying to push away the implications his celestial mind tried to scream at him. He picked up the chair by the back, sitting it upright, he found himself pausing, his mind wandering...The way Crowley's fingers had felt almost too warm to him, like he had the fire of hell...the passion of a burning blaze in every trendil of his dark essence...Aziraphale found himself smiling to no one but the thoughts in his mind. With the apocalypse averted just days ago, he was surprised he was already back to having the dreams of his special acquaintance. They had started nearly a thousand years ago, he had woke up in a dark room panting breathy, his dream much more interested in what comes before the pillow talk. He had woken up tired even for her almighty's sake! Yet the dreams never ceased, he got them almost once a week now, and though he would never admit it he relished the way it felt to be held and loved, and those soft butterfly kisses, especially by his demon. Azi shook himself though to bring himself back down to earth, drawing a little chuckle from him at the sheer hilarity of such a phrase, like he had gone to heaven for a moment with Crowley, now that...was definitely what the humans would call a cheesy line. Azi was going to be on his way to pick up an older book he had his eyes on for quite some time, a leather-bound original printing of the first book in the Sherlock Holmes series! He glanced at the clock, sighing in relief when he realized he had barely been asleep for an hour, and had an hour still to walk a few blocks to pick up his prize! The Angel fixed his coat as he walked out the door of his store, fiddling with the buttons but never bumping into the stray pedestrian. This was one of the Angel's favorite past times, walking among the humans down the street, the color of their souls shifting and changing with the thousand thoughts that raced through human heads. Aze often thought to himself, as he put one foot in front of the other, that humans thought so fast, almost like they knew their life was fleeting. It was beautiful how they always left a mark on the world, no matter how small, writing timeless stories, or planting a bed of flowers children would see and remember for years to come. Aze was never in a rush, he himself was timeless, watching the lives around them, glad he could be a part of them for even a moment. It almost saddened him when he made it to the old pawnshop that had been there for decades, run by the owner's father, his grandmother, and so on and so forth. Walking inside, Aziraphale came up to the counter and rang the little bell with an almost childlike fascination, the old rhyme coming to his mind about an angel getting its wings, he almost rang the bell twice, wishing somewhere in the universe a childlike angel's feathers came in, but no...Azi was never a child, though he dreamed about it sometimes. The owner came out, a short man with darker skin and a flop of bright pink hair, he wore a dark button-down shirt, and jeans, looking an odd mix of dapper and casual, it by no means looked bad, Aze thought he'd try it out, to impress Crowley's fashion sense.

"Ah, Mr. Aziraphale, glad you came in today, I almost walked over to your shop just to see what I could pick up, you've been busy haven't you, collecting?" The young man said although he dipped under the counter to bring up a blue book, bound in cracked leather, something Azi could easily fix. Though not by miracles, he loved the feel of old leather under his fingertips.

"Oh my yes, I came upon a most rare piece to my collection days ago, sadly the Original must be given back to the owner, but that is what we have pen and paper for." Aziraphale spoke with a playful gleam in his eye, he of course gave the charming young witch her book back, but he copied down every prophecy, wanting to connect them all to points on a timeline, it was like a wonderful puzzle and he would have seen it all first hand in the past he hoped there was a prophecy about Crowley, just so he could show the demon.

"Rare find? Don't tell me you found the book the ancient Pharoh Child King kept? Records of his time alive, be careful Mr.Aziraphale some people are right bloodthirsty for this kind of thing." This brought a playful smile to the ethereal beings lips, how sweet for this human to care instead of wanting to take, The envelope in his hand grew a bit fatter, as he passed it over and took up the book smiling.

"Oh it is quite rare, but I have to verify it's accuracy, and speak with the owner before I go giving away facts and details about it, to keep it all quite above board." The pawnshop owner smiled, and gave a nod to the man in all white, before he put the cash under the counter, to put away in a safe once the shop was empty, not wanting to risk someone breaking the code, he was a nice man, but being too trusting was the death to many.

Aziraphale gave a jolly wave to the man before he walked back outside, though he didn't head back to his bookshop right away, he zoned out, hugging the book to his chest almost like a child with a new toy they can't believe they actually managed to get, his body kept putting one foot in front of the other, and he found himself walking along the sidewalk of a line of clubs, strip clubs, music clubs, it was what humans used to entertain themselves...a sinful hotbed, had he come here because he couldn't rip his mind away from the thought of Crowley? He almost stopped walking, losing himself for a second as he wistfully imagined Crowley, maybe thinking this way about him? Could Demons think this way? A few days prior Crowley couldn't feel love at the paintball playing field, could he feel that amount of care for someone? The thought worried the angel, did you lose the love you had in your heart when you fell? No, no that thought was silly Crowley had things that were very clearly important to him! His Bently and...perhaps if it wasn't too wishful thinking, Azi was important to him as well. The angel was so lost in thought he slipped into a restaurant nestled in between two clubs thumping an odd mix of music on either of the small establishments walls, it was oddly soothing with how quiet it was, and Azi found himself sitting down at an old booth with leather that felt much older than what his new possession was bound in. A short pixie like woman with a mess of crimson hair handed him a menu, though she looked somewhat sad, and Azi couldn't bear that! A woman who worked to serve the good people of London deserved more...after the mess with the apocolypse, no one would be here to reprimand him for excessive miracles...The Angel had a smile that some, especially one, would call devilish.

"Angel, don't push it quite yet, we only barely got off scot-free, don't want to give them a reason to come back now do we?" Azie didn't even jump, instead he glanced to the demon with a soft smile on his face, folding his hands on the table he gave Crowley his absolute full attention, as he always did when he was around. The demon smirked back the two grins so different but similar, they were happy to see each other.

"Oh I suppose, but I'm still just so giddy from what happened, the way we escaped repercussions, it was quite exhilarating! And now, as you said...there are no sides we are on our own side, and it's oddly comforting I must say." Aziraphale glanced at Crowley to see his reaction though he already knew what he was going to say.

"Comforting? sitting across from a demon in a hotbed of sin? You can be so odd, angel." Yet Crowley's tone was more than pleased, and Azie had a knowing smile on his face as the waitress came by, nodding to them both she set down tea and coffee, black for the demon, milk for the angel. For a while neither of them spoke, not feeling like they had to fill the silence, six thousand years had taught them patience, in a way.

"Yes, I'd say comforting, though Gabriel would have my halo if he were ever to hear that." That made Crowley let out a low laugh, he wished he could be as comfortable as his angel, but he had come to see him for a reason, one that he knew would upset his poor angel, but he had to know.

"Angel..." There was a pause as Azi looked at him while sipping his drink, in his mind he was thinking about ordering a snack, he wasn't sure of what but food always was quite enjoyable. Crowley almost lost his nerve then to tell him, it was one thing tempting humans and taking credit but his angel was different, he didn't want to upset him. "about when we swapped places..." Crowley paused too long, Azie lit up as he expected Crowley to comment once again on how well he did masquerading as his companion.

"Oh my yes, wasn't that fun? You wouldn't believe how hilarious it was to flick the water at the window the demons were all behind, they were like frightened puppies!" Crowley winced, but forced a smirk, nodding along with his angel who seemed overjoyed Crowley was proud of his performance.

"You're good at being me huh angel?" That was it, Crowley had lost his nerve, how could he tell his angel what his brethren had done to him?

"What did you do at mine? You haven't told me, I doubt you could have gone and not pulled off something quite spectacular, it's in your nature!" Azi had no idea what he had asked of his demon, but Crowley couldn't keep it locked away anymore, he set down his coffee slowly. This took the attention of the angel, when Crowley had something to brag about he bragged big, letting out a funny little wa-hoo when he did so, something Aziraphale never really understood.

"Angel...you didn't get a trial, it was an execution." Azi would have told anyone that, when humans say their blood ran cold, it wasn't like a dip in a pool on a warm summer day, it was like fear froze your blood in spikes, puncturing your heart. His face, which was so happy a moment before paused, and he looked like a puppy who had been abandoned on the side of the road, he put his hands on the table, trying to wrap his head around it, his voice shakey like he was trying to somehow justify it for himself.

"But...Crowley, we're the good guys." Crowley would be lying if his heart didn't ache for his friend, but it nearly broke at what he said next. "If they're the good guys, am...I bad? I...was trying to save lives, save this! Adam...everyone..." Azi was in distress, not sure how to react to this he just covered his face with his hands, leaning his elbows onto the table in front of him, taking deep steadying breaths. Crowley reached out and pat his arm, murmuring softly, the cafe was empty now, the waitress out back having a smoke at the small trendil of temptation the demon had offered to give them privacy.

"No Angel, you're not bad, their system...the way they work, is with absolute certainty in themselves, it's flawed, you care, if that gets you killed then screw their system you still have our side, and I'm not going anywhere." It was odd for Crowley to say such nice things to anyone, but to Aziraphale it was understandable, the angel let his hands drop from his face, and willed away the tears he was about to have. He didn't want his friend seeing him so upset, so he tried to smile, pulling out his wallet with his appetite all but disappeared. Crowley frowned as Azi stood up and gently put enough money on the table for their drinks.

"I hope you don't mind me cutting this short, the bookstore needs this old Sherlock Holmes in its shelves." The demon simply nodded, knowing he just needed his time alone. Though Azi's wings, invisible to the human eye, but not to his, were hanging down, he had so much to think about. When Azie walked out of the coffee shop, Crowley groaned, running a hand through the wine red hair he loved.

"Fucking winged pricks, stupid assholes." He didn't know what else to do...in the morning perhaps he'd go to his Angel and find a way to cheer him up, they could go see the moon, or take a vacation to Alpha Centauri, something to get his mind off the sadness he had in his heart.

Though all Crowley would find the next day, were white feathers in Azie's bed.