#give my girl some relationship character depth/growth or give me death

[thesimperiuscurse]

08.04

It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia. 

Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤

Generation 1 — Fern (2015)

To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.  

I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.  

Generation 2 — Briar (2015)

Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild. 

Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation. 

Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)

Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?

It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story. 

Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me. 

En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)

And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head. 

I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!

At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao. 

That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!

[appledotcodotuk]

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

[phoebehalliwell]

how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ♥ hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

[joonietonin]

Ethan Ramsey's Character Development (Open Heart, Book 2)

Throughout Book 1, Ethan had made a slow but impactful progress. Come Book 2, and as MC herself says, "We've got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey" this statement holds true, not only referring to his droolworthy beard and his new jacket but also to his growth in character. So.. yeah, this is me analysing the changes in his character, which, if I may say so, has so much depth and progression to it. [My MC is female, pronouns: she/her]

• He literally went to another continent for two whole months to get over MC. He is truly, madly and deeply in love with her. I will not take no for an answer.

• He is trying not to call her 'Rookie' anymore. Well, I personally want him to call MC as a Rookie because I think we all find it very endearing but ever since MC told him how she's not a Rookie anymore, it's kind of really sweet that he's trying to call her by her first name.

• He is still trying to spend time with her. Although he claims that they cannot be romantically involved anymore, he is desperately trying for some one on one time with her. He's really really not over her huh? Even after being gone to the literal Amazon for two months, he still is very much in love with her. So much so, even when MC kisses him in Chapter 1, he doesn't pull away. He leans into her touch, her kiss. And when MC says he can tell her if he doesn't want to kiss her anymore.. it pains him to admit the truth that, "It has nothing to do with want. I can't. And if I give a damn about you, I won't." The statement is such a bittersweet confession of how much he cares about MC. He proclaims that he does want her and he needs her but he cannot be with her, rather will not be with her to push her to become the best doctor she can be. Also later in Chapter 2, during the gym scene if MC chooses to stretch with Ethan he's very open to offer her help to stretch knowing very well that they'll be in close proximity with each other.

• He reassures MC about her actions. Throughout Book 1, MC has made quite some controversial decisions and if there was one person who has always supported her decisions no matter how crazy they were, it was Ethan Ramsey. Similarly, in Book 2 Ethan reassures her that when she defended the girl from Dr. Thorne's unwelcome advances, it was the right thing to do. Even if your MC chooses to say it wasn't the right thing, he reassures by saying that it should be. He supports her,"What you did just now was brave. You've always been brave in the face of disaster and death, of course.. But it's different when you're facing down a superior. To stand up to them for what's right." So yeah, we stan a supportive husband.

• He admits his flaws and let's his guard down in front of MC. If you know Ethan Ramsey, you know he has the tallest concrete walls built around him letting no one, I repeat no one, see him at his vulnerability. Except for MC, of course. Slowly but surely MC broke down some parts of those walls and he didn't seem to mind it. If this were someone else he would have never let them even take one brick out of his tall walls. With MC, it was different. In Book 2, Ethan admits his flaw. He let's his guard down when MC praises him for being so brave to travel across the Amazon fighting a deadly epidemic. He let's her know the real reason why he went away,"That wasn't bravery.. I.. needed space.. I needed to reset before.." and almost immediately MC knew what was up. So yeah, it's really nice that we get to see the vulnerable and soft side of the usually tough, strong and brave Ethan Jonah Ramsey.

• He knows MC like the back of his hand. He knows when something's wrong. He can sense if MC is tensed or worried or just sad. He has always been very heedful of MC's feelings like the time (in Book 1) he took her out to the opera when she was feeling miserable. Similarly in Book 2, when MC feels overwhelmed by the quick working in the diagnostics team, Ethan takes one look at her face and knows what's up. He let's her know about all the work she has to do as a second year resident but his authoritative tone changes into a more comforting one when he asks her, "Is everything all right, MC?"

• He still provides her with advice that she needs and fulfills his role as a mentor without shutting her out completely. Given the complexity of their relationship and Ethan's fear that they could cross the line, it wouldn't be surprising if he shut her out completely but that's not the case in Book 2. He's very mindful of her needs, especially as his mentee. He gives her the advice that she needs and eases her worries. And he even asks her about how she felt about the diagnostics team and they get a few laughs out of it. He's tender when she puts her hand over his. He stares at her hand, gently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb letting her know how much he wants her but he can't.. so when MC gives him reassurance, he tells her, "We'll be okay. We'll make it work." That sentence itself is almost foreshadowing their future where they *maybe* will find a way to be together as well as work efficiently.

• He is kind and gentle these days. If we all know Ethan Ramsey, we know that he does not waste an opportunity to retort MC, be it describing her as 'a colossal pain in the ass' or that time he tells her how 'amazing it was that she didn't kill the patient' referring to her amateur skills. But now? He doesn't retort when it comes to her. He's kind, gentle and understanding. Therefore, when MC tells him that she feels like a clueless intern all over again, he tells her calmly, "Because you are clueless, comparatively speaking." MC thinks he's making fun of her but Ethan quickly corrects her saying, "It wasn't an insult." So yeah, Ethan Ramsey is a softie. Next!

• MC's wish is his command. Ethan does not really need approval from anybody to do something. He's never the one who has needed validation yet when it comes to MC, he needs, and I mean needs, to know what she thinks about his new look. Be it his jacket. Or his beard. Depending on your choices, if your MC chooses to let Ethan know that she misses his famous jawline, he drops in next morning with a shaved face. Similarly when MC keeps staring at Ethan and he asks her what's wrong and if your MC lets him know how she can't see his eyes with his glasses on. He immediately takes them off proclaiming, "If you insist... There. Happy now?" As I had said in a previous post, had this been any other person he would not have bothered to ask their opinion on his new look let alone change his look for them. Bottom-line is: HE IS WHIPPED.

• He doesn't shy away from praising MC. It is rare to get a compliment out of Ethan Ramsey so it's really sweet that Ethan has been so vocal about how great a doctor MC is. He does not shy away from telling others how proud he is of his wife MC. Be it to her own intern when he tells her, "Well, Dr. Ortega.. Dr. MC is one of our best. Consider yourself lucky." Or the instance where MC correctly diagnoses the Governor's son and the Governor states how lucky the hospital is to have a doctor like MC. Ethan is quick to reaffirm her beliefs by saying, "We certainly are." Also, during the dinner scene, the Governor says how Ethan had mentioned MC as the "bright future of Edenbrook" I mean, this man is a whole damn supportive husband material.

• He considers how helpful MC is when it comes to social situations. It goes back to that scene in Book 1 where Ethan asks for MC's help during his meeting with officials at the baseball game. MC had proved how resourceful and well-spoken she can be in an important social situation. Ethan certainly remembers that.. therefore when the Governor insists she come to dinner with Dr. Banerji, Dr. Emery and Dr. Ramsey, Ethan lets her know, "I could really use your help with the Governor. You know I'm no good at this political stuff." In the past year they've come close enough to know each other's strengths and vulnerabilities hence it's really cute that Ethan chooses to ask for her help rather than pretending to be good at something he's not.

• He does really love her very very much. While MC impresses the Governor with her thoughts on how important the community is for a town like Boston to grow and prosper. His knee touches MC's as a sign of approval and pride over what she had just said even though he made it seem like an innocent mistake. It is also very thoughtful and cute that he dropped Harper first and then turned his car back to drop MC even though MC's apartment came first in the route. He really wanted to spend some alone time with her. Hence after a few jokes about how she should have skipped the fifth course and how the rich live a disgustingly lavish life... He also assures her about whether or not they convinced the Governor by saying, "Thanks to you, yes. I think we did." Therefore when MC chooses to scoot closer and rest her head in the warmth and comfort of his shoulder, Ethan can't help but smile his heart out wanting that peace and privacy to never end. Also when MC jokingly suggests how Ethan would not come up for a nightcap at her apartment he just smiles ruefully and says goodnight. So.. all I'm trying to prove is that Ethan Jonah Ramsey is whipped. Period.

• He doesn't hide his problems from her anymore. Remember the time Ethan told MC about Dr. Banerji only because our curious MC found Dr. Banerji in the empty wing? Yeah, so that's changed. Ethan knows that he can trust MC with his life. Therefore when MC senses something is wrong with Ethan as he looks outside the window solemnly, he does not try to hide what's happening from her. He knows that he can confide in her and let her knowing how Edenbrook was in trouble. It's like he knows he doesn't have to fight his battles alone anymore and that MC would be there for him every step of the way.

.

.

So yeah, that was it. Feel free to add more points you might have noticed in Ethan's behaviour. I've been wanting to write this for a long time but didn't really have to courage to continue on given how longgggg this post would be but here it is! Thank you if you have read it till here, I'm grateful. Also I'm very hyped about today's chapter and also a bit mad at our dumb MC now that we know she has done something really really stupid to enrage the entire hospital! But that's something we'll have to deal with later! For now let's just bask in the joy of knowing how whipped and in love Ethan Ramsey is. (≧▽≦)

[atamascolily]

After Ursula K. Le Guin died, I made an agreement with myself I would read anything and everything she'd written as the chance arose. That said, Searoad: Chronicles of Klatsand probably would have been the last on my list, had I not stumbled across a paperback copy in a library booksale (in pre-pandemic times) in a "fill a paper bag for $10" sale and it languished in my TBR pile for months before I finally got around to it.

The reason? Genre snobbery, in reverse of the usual direction. Searoad is a collection of short stories published in magazines like The New Yorker, and fancy-sounding publications with Review in their names. Serious publications publishing so-called "literary" fiction, or maybe "realistic fiction" or just plain fiction--fiction that's supposed to tell-it-like-it-is, lay bare the inadequacies of modern life, and leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled after watching empty and unfulfilled people make poor decisions in futile attempts to fill the emptiness and inadequacies of their lives. Because that’s the whole point of literature, right?

Oh. Perhaps I'm generalizing. But so it feels to me whenever I dip into one of these publications. They are "literature", everything else is "genre": romance, science-fiction, fantasy, action, adventure, thriller, mystery, crime. "Literary" fiction is usually just plain old "fiction" in the library classification systems and in common parlance: it is assumed to be the norm, the default, from which everything else is a deviation. And I hate this. I've always hated this.

To write about petty modern people with their petty modern lives is one thing--we all have our kinks--but to disdain others for imagining different things, for epics and grandeur and you-could-have-anything-so-why-not-go-for-it always struck me as a deep failure of, and disdain for, imagination. Genres, like so much else in our lives, are social constructs: us and them, the have and the have-nots. Literary fiction are the "haves", everything else is the "have-nots". That's changing, obviously, and the boundaries aren't as rigid as they once were, but I still see that divide reflected in so-called "serious" publications, and I generally avoid them.

Ursula K. Le Guin has always hugged the boundaries between "pure" genre (aka trashy, flashy, unfit for serious folk in the eyes of the pedants) and "literary merit". She's been accepted and respected by both camps, although the "literary" folks speak of the sci-fi rather patronizingly in their reviews of her works. Le Guin, however, never disdained the sci-fi labels in the same way that Margaret Atwood--another boundary-spanning writer--has always done.

For this reason, I've retained infinitely more respect for Le Guin than Atwood, despite Atwood's considerable talents as a writer. Atwood wants to play with sci-fi tropes, but she doesn't have the backbone to stand up and be proud of it. Atwood wants to write science fiction but not be judged for it, and the easiest way to do that (since genres are a social construct) is just to firmly insist that it's not sci-fi at all--move along, nothing to see here.

Here's a blurb on the back of my copy of Searoad by Carolyn Kizer, a Pulitzer-prize winning poet from the Pacific Northwest:

"For a number of years, the only science-fiction I read was that of Ursula K. Le Guin. I don't read science-fiction any more, thought I wouldn't think of missing a book of Le Guin's. She has transcended the genre..."

How very generous and open-minded of you to only read science-fiction so elevated it “transcends” its genre entirely, thereby becoming worthy of notice. And this is supposed to make me like literary fiction? 

That said, the irony is that Kizer’s statement sums up my approach to non-genre stuff as well, although I would not have phrased it quite so baldly. More like “Okay, not usually my cup of tea--but if it’s you, it’s okay....” The genre transcending thing, as much as I despise the phrasing, works both ways here.

All this is to say I finally read Searoad, even though I had to coax myself into it by pretending that this was an alien society that Le Guin and I were exploring together in order to tell us stuff about our own, and that helped. It also helped because the stories were so damn good, and I got carried away, even though they are very literary stories, with ambiguous endings, the usual focus on unexpressed and/or self-destructive emotions of love, birth, and death, and no magic or wizards or dragons whatsoever.

(To repeat: I am a genre snob who has never understood why writing without dragons was inherently better than writing with dragons in it. I have always operated under the principle that dragons made everything better. And I have never understood why depicting the world as it is was a stroke of literary genius, if all you were going to do with it it is show people being unhappy in the usual old ways instead of unusual ways. Or even imagine something new and different!)

Searoad reminds me of Lake Wobegon a little, but that's only because it's a small town, with characters from one story popping up in others in the most unexpected places--just like small town life. After a while, it feels like we're constantly running into old friends, a shared world--real, but in a good way. The stories were published across a wide range of outlets from 1987-1991, yet flow into each other astonishingly well when read in rapid succession, or indeed, in any order at all.

My favorite is "True Love," which is all about ditching unsatisfying conventional relationships to focus on one's true passion instead:

For me, sex is sublimation. Left to itself, in its raw, primitive state, my libido would have expend itself inexhaustibly in reading.

And since I have been a librarian ever since I was twenty, I can truly compare my life to that of some pasha luxuriating in his harem--and what a harem! Half a million mistresses, when I was at the Central Library in Portland! A decade-long orgy! And during the school year, since I teach now at the Library School, I have access to the University Library. Here in Klatsand where I spend the summers, the harem is very small and a good many of the houris are rather out of date, but then so am I. My lust has lessened somewhat with the years. Sometimes I imagine I could be contented with a mere shelf of tried, true, and highly selected Scheherazades, with only now and then a pretty little novel to flirt with, or a volume of new poetry to make me cry out with excess of pleasure in the heart of the night.

And in the same story, Le Guin makes it clear she's one of us:

"Do you like science fiction" I asked her, because all I can really talk about is books. And of course, she couldn't talk about books. That had been knocked out of her years ago. We compromised on "Star Trek," new and old. She liked the new series as well as the old one. I liked the old one better. Antal stared, not at Rosemarie, only at me. "You watch it?" he said. "You watch television?"

I didn't answer. ... I was not going to let him try to shame us for our commonness.

"The one I liked best was the one where Mr. Spock had to go home because he was in heat," I said to her.

"Except, he never, you know," she said. "They just had a fight over the girl, him and Captain Kirk, and then they left."

"That's his pride," I said, obscurely. I was thinking how Mr. Spock was never unbuttoned, never lolled, kept himself shadowy, unfulfilled, and so we loved him. And poor Captain Kirk, going from blonde to blonde, would never understand that he himself loved Mr. Spock truly, hopelessly, forever.

Reader, I LOLed. Because it's true. You know it, I know it, and so does Le Guin. And she had the guts to say so in the Indiana Review, and the editors published it. LEGEND.

Like all of Le Guin's writing, the stories in Searoad are lyrical, elegant, soaring, and moving--sympathetic, yet unafraid to call out bad behavior and terrible things when she sees it. My other favorite story, "Sleepwalkers," is a brilliant example of this: it starts with a complaint by a privileged male playwright about the housekeeper at his summer cabin, only for us to quickly learn (if his tone and phrasing didn't give it away) that he's an arrogant asshole who sees only what he wants to see and misses what's actually in front of him. We then pivot to a number of other people at the little resort, and their views of the housekeeper, and we're left with an open question at the end: which view is more accurate? Which story do we believe? What is actually going on? Can any of us really know or understand the hidden depths within another person? It's so deep and lush and well-written, and even funny on occasions.

And there's also a diversity of viewpoints and perspectives and scenarios enough to keep me interested: a lesbian grieves the death of her long-time partner, a war veteran deals with PTSD, a college student runs off into the woods to secretly map illegal old-growth logging stands, a ghost appears in a late-night diner to a sexual-abuse victim. The ghost thing seems like it ought to fall under genre conventions, but doesn’t because of the framing, and yet it still works for me--another example of Le Guin’s skill.

Anyway, so Le Guin actually made me enjoy so-called "literary" fiction and that was unexpected and delightful. Regardless of my feelings about most "realistic" fiction, I'm glad I read this collection.  

[justathingidid]

‘LOVE WEDDING REPEAT’ IS ONE WEDDING TO SLEEP THROUGH

Eleanor Tomlinson and Sam Claflin play brother and sister in the film

Love Wedding Repeat was released on Netflix on April 10, 2020. The film is an updated version of the 2012 French short film Plan de Table, which follows eight guests at a wedding.The synopsis Netflix provides for its newer version is simple enough - “Different versions of the same day unfold as Jack juggles difficult guests, unbridled chaos, and potential romance at his sister’s wedding.” 

Basically, a wedding meets Groundhog Day. That actually sounds pretty interesting.

So why was Love Wedding Repeat so bad?

It’s nearly impossible to answer that question without doing some serious digging and examination into the movie. Is it the shallow plot, tonal inconsistencies, or Sam Claflin’s atrocious haircut that caused Love Wedding Repeat to miss the mark? Let’s march down the aisle and see.

In this post, I will:

Summarize the plot

Conduct a character analysis for the ensemble (spoilers!)

Examine the  film’s poor execution of “repetition” 

THE PLOT

From the start, it’s obvious Love Wedding Repeat has close to no concept of time. We start out with Jack (a miscast Sam Claflin) and Dina (a pretty, but boring) Olivia Munn at the end of a stay in Rome, where they’ve supposedly spent time together and fallen in love. Dina is the roomate of Hayley, Jack’s sister. Now, not only is the romantic chemistry between Jack and Dina non-existent - it’s really more of a sexual tension - but so is the desire to care about the two of them ending up together. The two are interrupted before a kiss can occur, and eventually head their separate ways.

Sam Claflin and Olivia Munn play love interests to one another

Fast forward 3 years and Hayley is getting married to wealthy Italian Roberto, causing Jack and Dina to reunite. The “3 years” might as well have been the next day, since there appears to be little growth in any of them - especially Jack, who still struggles to formulate a sentence around Dina. Luckily, Hayley’s placed them at the same table. But Jack’s desire to make a move is constantly interrupted by the other guests, and the distractions only grow when Hayley’s ex-boyfriend Marc shows up to crash the wedding and a sleeping drug is misplaced in a champagne glass. And when love doesn’t prevail, the movie switches things around: showing us another seating arrangement at the table that changes the situations of each character. What should be a wild ride that eventually ends with love (and yes, a kiss) - feels shallow and undeserved.

THE CHARACTERS

The ensemble is talented, but lacks cohesion

JACK

Sam Claflin portrays the main character

I like Sam Claflin. I really like Sam Claflin. He’s more than suitable to handle these types of films, with romances Me Before You and Love, Rosie under his belt. But, here, the lack of personality to Jack’s character makes it difficult for Sam to bring much to the film. Now, Sam certainly does carry the film, but it’s definitely breaking his back in the process. There’s only two things to know about Jack: 1) he likes Dina a lot (I still doubt it’s love - despite what the film says) and 2) he loves his sister. Everything else: dead parents, a job as an engineer, an ex-girlfriend -  all which would help bring a sense of depth to Jack as a person - is simply mentioned and never truly explored. His bumbling speech and “just can’t win” trait make it hard to not like Jack, but it does grow old after a while. One would think that losing Dina 3 years prior and finding her newly single would make Jack jump at the chance to make a move, but he still struggles to articulate his feelings to her, or even ask guests to leave so he can speak to her alone. It hurts to watch Jack’s awkwardness be one of the biggest barriers between him and Dina - the film would strengthen if Jack was actively trying to speak or flirt and then was pulled away. Jack’s supposed conflict of having Amanda, his ex-girlfriend, attend the wedding is hardly a conflict, given their relationship seems to have consisted of more sex than substance and Dina barely seems to care about Amanda’s presence. In an attempt to make Jack have something to his character, he ended up with nothing. Well, nothing but a kiss and a wealthy brother-in-law. 

HAYLEY & ROBERTO

Eleanor Tomlinson and Tiziano Caputo play the marrying couple

Hayley and Roberto are the couple causing the “wedding” in the film’s title, which fails to show a ceremony and instead, spends the film at the reception. Now, Roberto plays next-to-nothing of a role in the film, so let’s focus on Hayley, who is arguably the cause of all conflict in the film.

During her relationship with Roberto and (fairly near to the wedding), Hayley slept with old classmate, Marc, who unexpectedly shows up to the wedding to declare his love for her and expose the secret. Hayley threatens to have security to remove Marc from the wedding, but decides that recruiting Jack to drug Marc with sleeping medication is somehow a better idea. How? In the first scenario, the infidelity is exposed and during an argument with Hayley, Roberto accidentally falls off of the balcony to his death. In the second (and final) scenario, Marc has a change of heart, keeping the secret to himself, leaving Roberto to live his married life in blissful ignorance. Apparently, if in the second scenario love prevails, being honest isn’t part of the deal. Hayley’s infidelity is excused because according to her “it didn’t mean anything” and she “loves Roberto!” If love truly prevailed - if Haley truly loved Roberto - the truth should’ve come out with Hayley admitting it and (hopefully) Roberto forgiving. But, that’s just me and my ideas. 

Anyways, Hayley also decides to invite Jack’s ex-girlfriend Amanda for whatever reason (it’s not even mentioned if Amanda and Hayley are friends) and to sit her and Jack at the same table. I thought she loved her brother? It’s no surprise when the table arrangement goes south, and is that the fault of the little kids who switched the name cards, or the bride who planned: not only for those particular people to sit at the table but to add a sleeping drug into the mix? 

DINA

Olivia Munn plays Dina

Olivia Munn really tries with this role. You can tell she attempted to bring something to the table with Dina, but - similar to Jack - there’s not much to her. She’s a foreign correspondent and former roommate/friend of Hayley, but she’s mainly just the pretty girl who’s Jack’s love interest. Dina is at the wedding as a plot device. She’s there to remind Jack to seize his chance at love, she’s there to be separated from Jack or whisked away, she almost exists as a symbol. Her story of being kidnapped whilst in Afghanistan and coming back to care for a sick mother who would eventually pass is played twice for laughs, making it hard to find anything to care about for her. “Does she even like Jack?” is what I wondered in the back of my mind. She definitely engages in conversation with him, but her flirtiness is hard to find as more than friendliness. It’s known that Dina is newly single, having broken up with an ex. While this is a golden opportunity for Jack, it’s not even determined whether Dina is interested in another relationship. It certainly would’ve been nice to see Dina try to make an effort towards Jack as well - truly making it feel as if both sides are being kept apart.

BRYAN & REBECCA

Joel Fry and Aisling Bea play Bryan and Rebecca

It’s established early that the comedic side-kick is Bryan, the man-of-honor-maid-of-honor, whose relationship to Hayley or Jack doesn’t feel entirely sincere no matter how the film tries. He doesn’t come across as a “ride-or-die” type of best friend, and it’s unclear how he and Hayley even met, or what his relationship is like with Jack. Is he best friends to both of them? There’s little time to ask these questions (not like the film would answer) since Bryan announces his plan for the evening: convincing famous director Vitelli to give him a role in a film. This “subplot” is little plot, since Vitelli’s presence or effect on the wedding is barely felt. In the first scenario, this plan fails tremendously, with Bryan (victim of the sleeping medicine) falling asleep on Vitelli and mid-speech. In the second scenario, the plan works, but only after he falls in love with Rebecca, the blunt Irish guest whose relation to Jack or Hayley is not made clear. Honestly, Rebecca was my favorite character, possibly because she had a clear personality. Even if her chatterbox nature was exploited for exposition, Aisling Bea plays the obliviously honest nature with such perfection that I didn’t mind. Rebecca and Bryan have supposedly dated, but in the end, the two end up together, so there’s little time to care about what caused the breakup. I could only wish that Bryan had acted as more of a wingman for Jack and Rebecca had been given a larger role, perhaps as a wingwoman for Dina.

MARC

Jack Farthing plays the coked-up wedding crasher

If Marc was more of a looming threat, his arrival could’ve easily saved the movie. In fact, I was intrigued by his arrival: who is this disheveled, red-eyed man stumbling into the wedding reception? Whoever he was, he was obviously up to no good. However, the one thing that makes Marc interesting: the secret of him and Hayley having slept together, is quickly taken away or avoided when Hayley reveals the information to Jack (and the audience) on her own. Marc is not much of a physical threat either, his druggy demeanor makes him easy to overtake, hence why in the first scenario he’s locked up in a armoire. While the whole situation with Marc could have easily been avoided had Hayley had security remove him, the sleeping drug intended for him never finds its way in his champagne glass. And what’s worse: the audience never gets to see that scenario. If Marc was intended to be the antagonist of this movie (which the film will try to convince you he is), he surely failed by barely being much of a threat to begin with. 

CHAZ & AMANDA

Allan Mustafa and Freida Pinto play Chaz and Amanda

If Hayley’s enemy of love is Marc, then surely Jack’s is his ex-girlfriend Amanda. Or, supposed to be. Unfortunately, what is told about Amanda is worse than what is shown. For someone who’s supposed to be extremely rude and problematic, Amanda just seems to be extremely annoyed at best. Even when seated next to Jack, she doesn’t bother commenting on the situation, but her unbearable fiancé Chaz sure does. His angry comments towards Jack seem to be coming from a place of hurt: Amanda has not responded to his marriage proposal six months prior. But where Chaz could really be a character to wreak some havoc, especially for Jack, his lines are delegated to unfunny penis jokes for nearly the entirety of the movie. No wonder Amanda is annoyed.

SIDNEY

Tim Key plays Sidney

Speaking of annoying, it’s time to talk about the last character of the ensemble: Sidney. Who is this guy? Once again, his relationship is not made clear and the audience is quite confused by the kilt-wearing-crotch-adjusting guest who lacks social intelligence. You can tell when Sidney is supposed to be funny and unfortunately it falls short every time. I guess him finding love in the end is supposed to make us feel some type of way, but it failed to move me. Every member of an ensemble should have something to contribute, and I can say - aside from a few scenes where he was needed to act as a barrier between Jack and Dina - Sidney was completely unnecessary in the film.

VITELLI

Paolo Mazzarelli plays Vitelli in the film

Why was Vitelli in this film? What exactly did he add? Is he actively scouting for a new movie or did guests just assume? What’s his whole relationship thing with Dina? He offered her a ride - was he romantically interested or trying to cast her? Who even is this guy? How does Roberto know him?  

I just...why?

THE ORACLE

Penny Ryder voices The Oracle

There’s a narrator in this film. Don’t ask why. Not only is she completely unnecessary and unhelpful, the message she spews for a majority of the film is not only untrue but contradicts the entire plot: that chance is the enemy of love.

“REPEAT?”

Confused, Bryan? So am I.

I don’t what’s worse: that I can’t tell you how many times the film lived up to the “repeat” part of its name, or that I don’t want to. It’s true: the film only plays out the entirety of two scenarios when it comes to seating at the table. The rest are muddled in what is perhaps the worst montage I’ve seen recently (and I’ve been subjected to multiple ‘senior szn’ recaps on IGTV), and offer no information. In this montage, we don’t know who has the sleeping drug, and the entirety of the table isn’t even in frame. You don’t know who is sitting where or who has the sleeping drug. I guess it doesn’t matter because Jack and Dina don’t end up together, but it does matter because it needs to make the wait worth it. The audience should be subjected to different crazy scenarios: they should realize how completely wrong everything has gone. They should be tired of reliving the same wedding reception, they should want Jack and Dina to end up together to just end it. 

But I must say, the best part of the montage was Jack and Rebecca end up tongue-kissing. That’s a scenario I’d love to see.

CONCLUSION

A kiss to end it all

I hate to bash a directorial debut. But I hate wasted potential more.

Love Wedding Repeat could’ve been something great - it really could’ve. It’s easy to see the same idea executed better going down as a modern rom-com classic. But Love Wedding Repeat’s failure to live up to its name is a major disappointment, especially giving the talented leads (who are better off playing friends than a couple). The idea was certainly there, and so were the resources. I mean, they shot on-location in Rome. But if Love Wedding Repeat shows anything, it’s how a lackluster script can truly harm a concept. You can’t tell us sad stuff about our characters, show the sadness. Show the tension between Jack and Amanda, show us the camaraderie between Hayley and Bryan, show how reckless and wild Marc is - make us care and understand. It shouldn’t just be Jack who wants a kiss between him and Dina - it should be us.

Overall, I can only hope what Netflix has in store for the future when it comes to rom-coms isn’t anywhere close to repeating this complete mess. 

[grahamcarmen]

What's your ideal s3?

ideally? i have some vague beats  i want the story to touch on but I more or less trust the writing team for any specific path. (kind of a boring answer i know but genuinely i’m happy that i can say that i trust...the writers of all people)

but some things i’d like to see!

PLEASE GET CARMEN SOMEONE WITH MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE OR LIKE A SIDE DOCTOR THE TEAM TRUSTS BECAUSE SEASON 1 ENDED WITH RIB CRUSHING HUG AND S2 HAD HER NEARLY FREEZE TO DEATH AND I NEED MY DAUGHTER TO BE OK!!!

focusing on her mama finding mission is just something that’s been curious to me because?? are they going to make her alive? or are we going to lean into her found family? idk but i’m glad that the show gives carmen a lot of bonds to strengthen and make. i’m just hoping that its neither underplayed to focus on her family when they left us on an empty coffin or overplayed when team carmen is finally coming to some new depths of found family

BUT A RED CRACKLE EPISODE OF COURSE!!!

and more specifically for all the links being thrown at graham to finally come to some sort of fruition and for him to get his memory back. i am just so (SCREAM) about what he’ll decide when he remembers that “OH YEAH I WAS A THIEF FOR A VILLAIN ORGANIZATION WHO MIND MANIPULATED ME AFTER I FAILED TO “TAKE CARE OF” MY FRIEND WHO I AM KINDA THINKING MIGHT MEAN MORE TO ME”

IF IT’S ACME: graham and Julia to meet literally as Julia is about to bounce (side note: Julia should bounce) and ACME is trying to take advantage of graham + interact in general. i’d be so happy for Carmen to get two new allies, allies who by the way she actually pretty fond of, and even more so if they happen to get along. i know i’m kinda vague on it but i think that graham is just a really good character in the way he’s able to show support: how he listens. how he trusts, how he’s accepts when someone is just stronger than him in whatever area, and how he can be verbally uplifting. Julia’s current connections has been just...so lacking in these areas. not just the chief and chase but her new acme partner zari too ( i was so disappointed because i wanted to love her u don’t even know). i’d really like it if her interactions with graham were...refreshing for a change. i’d like it they were friends. (and also if they try to stab me in the heart with graham is bad ending Julia is strong enough to keep him in check)

IF IT’S VILE: GIMME THE ANGST! there was a hint in the opera caper  that there might be mind control going into the graham plot if its VILE who decides to use him and i’m just spazzing out at the idea of graham choosing carmen and then being sleeper agent-ed into being VILE anyway like wth. but  that wacky fan-fic IMJUSTKIDDING idea aside i think that if VILE is the one to activates his memories again its a good time to reconcile with the things that graham has done while on VILE’s dime (because there is the fact that he was ...of the correct aptitude to be considered a VILE candidate in earnest) while seeing where he’s going to go from there (hopefully away with Carmen to do good deeds instead) and on that note

JULIA AND GRAHAM BACKSTORY! we get hints of Julia being into art and we have graham’s current electrician job but aside from that maybe some more details about their lives outside carmen and VILE drama to flesh them out a bit more. (p.s also maybe player focus??)

;_; i want red crackle to go the beach guys

i want a masquerade episode guuuuuuuuuuuuys

but more importantly i want carmen and graham to keep their bond. they’ve been torn apart, walked apart, drifted apart, and yet they keep coming back like they were meant to be together. i have no illusions of canon romance in this show but i want their bond to end up positive because they are a good team when they get a chance to work together and they genuinely want to be that good team. and me...please...do it for my sanity showrunners

I’m also excited for what the development with Ivy is going to be considering she’s worn the red outfit so much, she’s been shown to be the one to make the tools, and in general to be able to step up as almost a substitute femme rouge should the occasion arise. 

development for chase....s2 had some crumbs but ooof he was just cut outta the middle of the season . I know i called him out on how he treats Julia but I don’t want him to stay like that. I want him to grow because i actually do like that man. he just needs to find a healthier way to deal with his insecurities (and for the narrative not to overlook his accomplishments and special skills he brings to the investigation). he’s honestly a fun character and it’d be a shame if the narrative didn’t take advantage layering growth on top of that. honestly when i started the show i thought they were going to have such a solid friendship akin to Juliet and Lassiter from Psych and it was pretty disappointing that their relationship didn’t get a chance to become more than Julia feeling undermined while downplaying Chase’s actual big breaks in the case. instead it kept escalating until in ep 9 we had a really honest conversation which i thought would lead to more honesty and growth in s2 and then adfnsalkn. NOPE!  i think they still could be a strong duo since Chase DOES have skills he can teach Julia (like when he let mime bomb go so they could follow him) and Julia’s intelligence does help give Chase’s determination more direction. when its not negative they have strong buddy cop vibes. we just need ...DEVELOPMENT.

i’d also like some zack bonding? of all her friends i feel like zack is the least secure in their friendship. its shown in the {need for speed caper} where she gets mad that he doesn’t understand her as well as ivy does when he mistakes her anger as a genuine hatred for them and he’s the one to immediately consider the offer to leave. we had the whole zack is the duke episode but it was more of a gimmick than actually developing that bond and it makes me really sad. so yeah. let zack be closer friends with carmen.

THE SHADOW-SAN BOND IS AMAZING AND I WOULD LIKE FOR IT TO STAY AMAZING. WITH CARMEN AND EVERYONE ELSE ON TEAM RED

It sounds like a weird point to end with since I started with “please get ma girl a doctor” but i want VILE to have a genuine win. no ifs, ands, or buts. carmen as a show works with her always winning mostly because of the principle of {if its not important if we win or lose then the stakes come from somewhere else} and that somewhere else is her PERSONAL bonds with shadow san, zack and ivy, Julia, ACME, her past, and Graham. and all of those were fantastic and ended great  or at least with some potential to end good with the exception of ACME...but i don’t want ACME to win anything. i’m honestly horrendously biased towards VILE faculty showing they’re competent. season 2 was a great season for testing her bonds with team carmen but to keep the testing of the bonds the conflict in s3 wouldn’t work so well /for me anyway/ because it would feel like re-treading ground when instead of “testing” they should instead be deepening. shadow, player, zack, and ivy now have a home with carmen. no need to make their new bond status reset to tenuous. i mean this mostly for her inner team since Julia has that little “carmen thinks i betrayed her” and Graham is a ticking time bomb of potential. looking at s2 tho a huge chunk of it was concentrated on her inner circle members being tested over us actually ever worrying if carmen was going to lose. in fact we got a longer list of VILE members who fail to deal with her which left behind some of our familiar faces like tigress, el topo, and mime bomb. the new faces were nice but they were also less impact in  terms of actual menace because...carmen wins. always.  so yeah...i want a win for VILE to throw in a new problem to the narrative mix. 

...so...yeah XD

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 5

1. Favorite character of this season?

Anya, I love her arc this season. She's just kind of been... there, in season 4, running along. No one really acknowledged the demon thing, there was no real bonding between Anya and everyone, she was just there. This season, finding her place in the world? Working at the Magic Box, then her in The Body – I mean seriously, her confronting mortality like that, I love it. I love her growth.

2. Outstanding minor character (positive or negative)?

Dawn. Sure, technically you could argue she's a “main character”, however... she's barely even a character, she's a plot-device so that really qualifies her as a minor character for me.

I always disliked Dawn, even when I was a teen myself. With some things, perspective shifts when you grow older, but Dawn just... always sucked. As a teen, I found her to be a cringey parody of the teen girl experience and now as an adult I still think that this is the peak of what a middle-aged man thinks the teen girl experience is. She's a cheap, one-dimensional caricature of a teenager.

She is a whiny brat, she constantly acts like “no one sees the real me”, she becomes a kleptomaniac to try and gain attention, she acts like no one loves her even though everyone constantly fawn over her every chance they got, she is a spoiled little brat that is completely unappreciative of all the things she gets. It's like they crammed every single shallow teen stereotype into this one character, making her a very one-dimensional character. Which is a bafflement considering Willow, Xander and Buffy started out as teenagers but they were always fully fleshed out characters with actual personalities. Heck, Cordelia was the most stereotypical character in the teenage years but even she got more depth and individuality.

Though I'd like to point out that while, as a character, Dawn is incredibly obnoxious, I do like her as what she is – a plot device. The way she creates new dynamics among the Scoobies, how other characters play off her and grow on her existence, the villain-plot she triggers.

3. Favorite character dynamic?

Too many, honestly. I adore the way Tara-Buffy grow in this season. Generally the friction between Spike and the Scoobies. Spike and Dawn in particular. The Buffy-Dawn dynamic too – Dawn being such a blank slate of Teen AngstTM allows for the other characters to shine in comparison. They get a new dynamic here, through the New Kiddo that puts them in perspective. Caring, gentle. The sisters-angle is a new one for Buffy and I do love her as a big sister, even if I wished her retconned sister had like... an actual personality.

4. Favorite canon romantic ship?

Spike/Buffy. Sue me, I'm Spuffy trash. Always been. The way he cares for her, the things he's willing to do. The little things. The self-sacrificial side, how he drops everything to help her whenever she needs him. And, I know, I give other ships flag for things equal or less in comparison to some of the shit that's happened/happening between Spike/Buffy, but see that's where taste comes into play. Liking and disliking things is just... all about that taste and tastes differ. For me, Spike/Buffy hits all the right spots. I love them so much.

5. Least favorite canon romantic ship?

Riley/Buffy. Once again. Seriously, this is just such a bad relationship. From the get-go she constantly put herself down to lift him up. Holding back her powers – which, of course, because otherwise she'd snap him in half during sparring – but pretending that's the max. She is always going out of her way to make him feel special and useful.

And he goes and gets fed on by a vampire and has the audacity to blame it on Buffy, because Buffy doesn't make him feel wanted enough. Even though she continuously tries making him feel important. It's ridiculous. Complaining that she didn't think about calling him when her mom went to the hospital, like she didn't have something else in her mind there? Setting her an ultimatum that she has to give him a reason to stay. After he essentially cheats on her, by sneaking around with vampires and letting them feed on him for the rush.

Now to go and leave with his little military buddies once more. After everything the military has done to him...? Their relationship was so bad for Buffy.

6. Favorite episode?

The Body. This is the singularly best episode... ever. In all television I've ever seen. This episode is overwhelmingly good. Sarah Michelle Gellar's acting is overwhelming in this episode. The choice to exclude music entirely, not even sad ones. How silence is allowed to longer, how unnerving the background noises become due to this silence.

The writing too, of course. Anya's words about death and mortality are so intense, they'll always stick with me. And not just her. Xander, Willow, Dawn, how they all handle this in a different way.

The choice alone that Joyce dies from something so fundamentally human, something no one could have prevented, something Buffy couldn't have fought. And – yes, that reaches ahead some – but the fact that the next episode also serves to have this unfold. It's not just “death and move on”. It's being dealt with, it's being digested, it's being taken seriously.

Too many writers feel the need to fun things up when it's getting serious, because they are afraid to lose their audience if there isn't a joke every five minutes. There is not a single joke in that entire episode. This show is funny as hell, but they know when not to joke. There is nothing to be made light here, this is serious, they are truly suffering. They know how important that is.

I've seen this episode surely a dozen times now. I cry so much every single time. Not just once. There are so many well-written, well-acted and well-executed moments in this episode. It's brilliant TV-making. It encapsulates what's so brilliant about this show overall; the human element, suffering, pain, dealing with pain, the balance between seriousness and humor and knowing when not to use humor.

7. Least favorite episode?

Episode two Real Me. It's the Dawn introduction episode and I've made clear what I dislike about Dawn; this episode introduces it all in the most teen angst cliche possible – writing a diary entry about how no one sees you for who you are and like no one could ever actually understand you.

8. Favorite Monster Of The Week?

...Dracula. I still... I consider that episode a fever-dream. It's one of the ones I opt to forget about whenever enough time has passed since my last rewatch because it just... doesn't fit into this show at all, it feels like a whacky filler arc in an anime, or a one-shot comic spin-off. But it's fun.

9. Least favorite Monster Of The Week?

This season doesn't actually have much of those. There's 4 or 5, depending on how you'd count, out of those 22, because this season is very streamlined about the Big Bad, more so than previous seasons were, and it is also very focused on the human issue – on Joyce's sickness and then her death. Out of those few, I guess the “let's split Xander in half” demon from episode 3 was my least favorite. It was... boring and due to this season's streamlining the fact that this was the most fillery filler episode felt a bit out of place, really.

10. Rate the overarching villain!

SO FREAKING GOOD.

Glory is a truly glorious villain. She's a god. But she is so – so frantic, so manic. She is fun to watch as a villain. The sheer size of the threat too. Which, it figures. There's always an escalation of threat.

(We will get back to that in the season 6 review though.)

Glory may just be my favorite Big Bad on this show, which only adds to how much I love this season. It's one of my favorites. Granted, I have a lot of favorite seasons.

Bonus: Other thoughts?

I love this season so very, very much. The human element, the growth, the villain-plot, the relationship developments. It's an incredible season. I'll get back to this when I finish my rewatch and actually do my ranking of seasons, but I am rating each episode – 1 to 5 – and getting the point-average, to have a more factual look at how much I loved a season. This one is through the roof, it scored an entire 1,5 more in average than season 4 did. There's only one episode in this that I gave a 1 to, but there are so many 4s.

That ending, to truly kill off your main character like that. So many gut-punches – but deserved gut-punches, not the ones that come out of nowhere and only serve shock-value.

I greatly enjoy and love seasons 1 to 3, but this season – this season reminds me why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the best damn TV show ever created.

[lliaq]

okay, now that I’ve slept on it I’m actually gonna try to put down my thoughts on the season, so obvious TUA season 2 spoilers below and it’s probably going to get really long

Just to preface this, I haven’t read any of the comics, so I can’t speak to how the show compares to them.

Guess I’m gonna start with the positives, and I think what I enjoyed most about the season where just little moments between the siblings. Obvious standouts being Ben getting to talk to Vanya and Diego. I think those were the only two scenes that acutally made me tear up a bit. It was just really nice seeing him get that opportunity, and something that I’ve wanted to see since S1. It would have been even nicer if he got a moment with all his siblings, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. Another one was at the very end with Vanya and Diego just sitting on the stairs together. Just a nice little moment, even if it was short.

Luther apologizing to Vanya was a pleasant surprise and showed that he actually used his time alone to reflect and have a bit of character growth, so that was another plus.

I overall liked Allison and Ray’s relationship, and I was okay with the way it ended. It was kind of bittersweet, but it made sense and felt in character.

On that note, I also liked that Allison learned to achieve things without her powers, because never having to do that was kind of a big note of her character in S1. Not necessarily sure it had to be done by taking her voice away, I think if anything it would have been even better if she did it by choice, but I’ll get back to that.

I enjoyed the whole old Five vs “young” Five thing. Not much more to add to that, really.

And lastly, I enjoyed Reginal a lot more than I thought I would. It was interesting to see a bit of a different side of him when he was with Grace, felt like it gave his character a bit more depth, and I mean the actor is just fantastic. Like, I fucking despise Reginald, but it’s a joy to watch his performance. The way he went in on Diego at the dinner was fucking brutal, man. That was heartbreaking to watch, and the fact that none of the others stood up for him sucked, but honestly I think it just shows that despite them bonding a little, they still have a ways to go in terms of being a functional family. S1 didn’t span all that much time, and they were separated for most of their time in the 60s, so it makes sense that they’re still learning in that department. Them getting into the car with Vanya showed that they’re getting there though. Also, to get back to Reginald, I think they’ve made it pretty clear now that he’s an alien, so there’s that too. No more confusion about that.

Now on to the so-so stuff. Things that were neither all good nor all bad.

Vanya & Sissy - oh boy man. I mean first of all: give me that lesbian farm life, hell yes. I was rooting for them from the start, and I just really loved all their interactions. Also, idk if that was intentional on Ellen’s part or not, but her chemistry with Sissy was leagues above whatever the fuck was going on with Leonard. That being said- I’m personally not a fan of cheating storylines, just in general. I get why, in this case, but yeah. And unlike with Ray, I really wish they would have taken Sissy and Harlan with them to 2019. Because, for one: can we at least have one happy gay couple on this show? And second: They both deserved to have a life where they’re not constantly judged for who they are. From a character standpoint I get that going to the future would be really scary and shit, but just imagine man. Vanya and Sissy could have been together without having to hide, and Harlan could have vastly benefited from the better understanding of autism we have now. Not that either of those aspects are perfect in 2019, but they’re a long way from the 60s.

Diego and Lila’s relationship I honestly didn’t care much about. It felt like they just completely dismissed Patch and the impact her death had, by not even so much as giving her a mention. And I also just didn’t really feel it man. I mean they spent some time together in the asylum, but it seemed like they weren’t even friends really - and then by the end of the season they love each other, like girl, it’s been less than a week. Relax.

Lila on her own, I did kind of like, but I feel like she could have used a bit more development, and a little less ‘I had sex with this guy once like five days ago and now I love him more than anything’

Ben. Ben Ben Ben. I was kind of up and down on his arc. I actually liked that he was just so done with Klaus’ shit, even if calling Dave a fling might have crossed the line a bit for me. Some of the posession stuff was weird (though I’m glad they at least had the ground rules talk), but at the same time getting to see him experience the most basic sensations like air on his face and dirt under his feet was nice. He did also save the world through the power of communication and love, so you know- good job, Ben. And then they killed him (again). Ngl, I was pissed at that- but I figured they would probably find a way to bring him back somehow, so I held off judgement on that until the end, and I was right. Still not entirely happy, and whether or not that’s going to change will likely depend on what happens with S3.

Klaus’ cult story line was kind of eh. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t really like it either. His attempts to save Dave were more interesting, even if they ultimately didn’t work. Other than that, he didn’t really go through any growth this season. It did piss me off that Allison enabled his drinking after he relapsed. Fuck that.

I’m glad we got to see a little bit of how Allison losing her voice affected her, but I think they could have done more there. Idk, it just felt a bit lackluster for something so huge. Like I mentioned earlier, her living a life of never actually having to work for anything was something that shaped her character and personality in S1, and I‘m glad she’s had that realization. That being said, I think it would have been even more impactful if she worked for what she wanted w/o using her powers by choice, showing that she was was willing to put in the effort to grow and change, rather than being forced into it by circumstance. But you know, sometimes life works like that, and people don’t change unless they’re forced into a situation where they have no other option.

And, somewhat related, I think the last point for this section is Allison and Vanyas relationship. While I’m glad that they’re closer now, I wish they would have at least adressed Vanya slitting her throat. I understand that Allison doesn’t blame her, we already saw that at the end of S1, but c’mon. At least have a short conversation about it, because that was a big thing. It feels like they just used that to fuel the ‘Allison needs to learn how to do things without her powers’ storyline, and then it just got dropped, never to be mentioned again. The show tends to do that a lot, and it completely diminishes the impact of these big moments.

Okay, now to the purely negatives, here we go.

Luther moping over Allison. For the love of god. Listen, Luther did grow on me this season, compared to S1 - but I was so fed up with his moping around. Can we just not do the incest thing anymore, please. I already went through that shit with Shadowhunters (except there it at least wasn’t actually incest), I don’t wanna do it again.

Harlan. I honestly did not care for him at all. That being said, I usually don’t care about child characters, so that’s not a big surprise and not necessarily the show’s fault. But also, the fuck even was that storyline. I’m sorry, but it just made no sense. Which actually leads me right to the next point

Inconsistently written powers. Diego doing the thingy with the bullets like since when tf can he do that? I understand that the show already changed his powers from the comics, but up until that point it was strictly about knives. We never see him curve or manipulate (or whatever it is he actually does) any other objects, so this just felt so random and out of nowhere, and like they just wanted to give him a ‘badass powers moment’. If they wanted to indicate that his powers were more than what we’ve seen in S1, literally all they had to do was have him use them on something that’s not a knife at any point in the season. A 2 second shot, done. And then you don’t get to the finale and are suddenly like “the fuck”. But, boy, Vanya was even worse. Sounds. That’s what we learn her powers are in S1. Sounds, she manipulates sounds and sound waves. So how in the everliving fuck does she a) bring someone back to life, b) tranfser part of her powers to that person and create a magical connection, and c) take that part of her powers back? None of that makes any sense whatsover. The stuff in S1 where she’s sucking the life out of her siblings was already a stretch, but they’ve just made it worse this season. And this is just a minor gripe with the VFX, but her floating out of the barn looked so bad. I know it’s hard to make floating/flying people look good and natural, but other shows and movies have done it, so it’s not like it’s impossible.

And lastly: The villains. They were terrible, period.

I don’t like the Handler that much, she’s just so...plain and boring and really the only thing she has going for her are the outfits. Nice outfits don’t make a good story though. But the Swedes were even worse. Just every scene they were in felt like it dragged and I just wanted to skip past it. And then they have the fucking funeral scene with swedish Adele like are you kidding me? Am I supposed to feel bad for these pieces of white toast with zero personality or development? ??? Honestly, they could have cut them out completely and replaced them with more development for Lila and I would have been perfectly happy with that. Or replaced them with literally anything else. I don’t think I would have felt like I was missing anything important. Also, AJ? What was up with that? Again, haven’t read the comics so idk if he’s a big deal or not in them, but I really thought he would play a bigger role. That felt like such a waste of a character and like what even was the point?

I really feel like AoS (esp. S1-4) raised my bar for well written and developed villains. Admittedly, a 22 episode season allows for a lot more time to actually do that than a 10 episode season, but still. If you have less time to develop characters, then you need tighter writing and TUA completely dropped the ball on that one.

Okay. I think that’s it. I mean, I probably forgot a bunch of stuff, but these were the things most prominently on my mind after letting everything sink in for a bit. Overall I’m pretty meh about the season as a whole. I’ll probably watch S3 (if they renew it, that is), but I’m not super hyped about it or anything. The only thing keeping me interested are sibling interactions and the Ben reveal (even though his emo hair is an atrocity. I’m sorry Ben, I love you, but no.)

[firelxdykatara]

If Zutara were to be canon,thanks to Aaron Ehasz,how will this affect Legend Of Korra?

This is a difficult question to answer, mostly because it would of necessity rely on a whole lot of assumptions and biases, and without asking Aaron himself (in private, where he wouldn’t have to worry about kicking off another fandom war), it’s impossible to answer with any degree of certainty.

Now, I can talk about how I, personally, think things would have been different if Zutara had been canon–which, for me, means that the epilogue of book 3 was just the tea shop scene, and we got a book 4 where, as Aaron briefly mentioned on twitter and in various interviews, the consequences of energy-bending were explored, the lost Air Nomads were found, Azula had her redemption arc (which would probably have tied into the search for Ursa, which I would’ve loved to see Aaron’s take on in book 4, especially considering the crap the comics handed to us), and Zuko and Katara grew closer and entered into a relationship by the end of the season.

(Before I start exploring this in more depth, I want to head off ‘delusional Zutarian’ arguments at the pass–I’m not saying it’s 100% confirmed that Aaron was planning to make ZK canon in book 4. I am saying (as I’ve said before) that, given the set up and development in canon, and the way Aaron himself has talked about how he develops characters and relationships, I believe he (and other writers/artists/crew members) was leaning heavily towards that particular relationship and would have explored it further in book 4 had he been allowed to.)

Putting the rest under a read more cause this got long.

We know some of what Aaron had plans for–Azula’s redemption, the consequences of energybending, the lost Air Nomads–but nothing super concrete. Going from that, then, I believe that in Book 4, the Gaang would have split up for a good chunk of it. (Please note that most of the rest of this is pure speculation.) There’s a lot of ground Book 4 would’ve had to cover–the Gaang in the beginning would’ve split off to head to their respective homes (Sokka and Katara to the SWT, Suki to Kyoshi Island, Toph… ok, Toph probably just stuck around Caldera and this would’ve been a great time to have the Toph&Zuko life-changing-field-trip episode we were denied in canon) to touch base with the families and friends they’d left behind to go on their save-the-world tour.

For his part, Aang would’ve returned to Guru Pathik. While he got a last-second Hail Mary (in the form of a conveniently placed rock, which still boggles my mind, but whatever) when fighting Ozai, he still was not a fully realized Avatar, and since I’m bitter that the Guru Pathik/chakras plot was almost entirely dropped after the book 2 finale, I’m saying he’d have gone back to finally finish that training because it makes sense and because I can. Anyway, he returns to the Guru, and by this point he has accepted that Katara doesn’t return his feelings the way he’d like her to (a call back to The Fortuneteller, which should have been foreshadowing for Aang’s emotional growth, barring the last twenty seconds of the episode).

Furthermore, he’s learned that ‘letting her go’ doesn’t mean he can’t care about her or want her in his life to be the Avatar (after all, previous Avatars have had love and even been married–Kuruk isn’t that great of an example, given that his love life got him killed, but Kyoshi lived over two centuries and had multiple loves over her incredibly long life, and Roku was married and had descendants of his own), it just means letting go of his expectations–letting go of the selfish aspects of his love, the parts that lead him to nod in agreement when actors on a play told fake!Katara ‘I thought you were the Avatar’s girl’, and that lead him to expect her to return his feelings and push against her boundaries when she told him she wasn’t sure and was confused. (He said “We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were gonna be together, but we’re not.” even though a) he kissed her without any warning, she did not kiss him, and she looked away and frowned afterwards, and b) she never once brought up the kiss again or hinted that her feelings towards him had changed and become romantic, so he had no reason to believe they’d ‘be together’.)

Ok that was a bit of a tangent, but the upshot is, Guru Pathik helps Aang fully master the Avatar State. While on that particular journey, Aang has to deal with the consequences of energybending–he pulled Ozai’s energy into himself, and he has to deal with the sudden darkness that was absorbed into his spirit. He also receives some sort of hint, possibly from a dream or meeting with a spirit, that with balance returning to the world, the Air Nomads can start to return, too.

Sokka, Suki, and Toph wind up going with Aang on his journey to figure out just what the spirits meant by that. They discover that the Air Nomads weren’t totally eradicated by Sozin (which would’ve been impossible, since we already know that inter-nation relationships happened in the past [Avatar Kyoshi’s mother was an airbender], and they were, well… nomads), but those who survived (because they weren’t at the temples at the time, or some who hadn’t attained mastery managed to escape) assimilated into the Earth Kingdom and even some in the Fire Nation. Because the world was incredibly out of balance following the decimation of the Air Nomad population, and because many of them were suddenly in a situation where showing they were airbenders was a death sentence, their spirit as a population was almost completely broken, and they stopped being able to airbend. In the present, Aang finds descendants of Air Nomad survivors, including Ty Lee (and, in my HC, Jet, who shows up alive bc I want him to get the healing arc he didn’t get in canon) who are beginning to discover they can airbend.

Meanwhile, Zuko asked Katara to accompany him on his journey to find his mother–it’s a callback to TSR, when he helped her gain closure for her mother’s murder, and since he wants to bring Azula too, he asked for Katara’s help sister-wrangling. They eventually find Ursa (who did not willingly forget her children, and who did not send a letter to her former lover to make Ozai question Zuko’s paternity, because in the show she was not a horrible person and she loved her children more than anything tyvm), as well as Kiyi (the only good thing to come out of that comic), and Azula finally gets the sort of closure she could never have before, and there is a heavy focus on her emotional journey. Zuko is there to support her, and Katara is there to support Zuko. In the process, Katara winds up with an odd sort of mildly antagonistic friendship with Azula, who gets to a point where she can good-naturedly tease Katara about her growing feelings for Zuko.

ANYWAY. I realize you were asking primarily how it would affect LoK, and I went on a whole ass book 4 tangent. So here’s how I see it changing the landscape in LoK.

First of all, Katara is granted the importance she is due. She has a statue in most major cities, including both Caldera and Republic City. Katara married Zuko and became one of the most beloved Fire Ladies in Fire Nation history, partly because she didn’t assimilate and give up her own home and culture, and she never hesitated to speak her mind during council meetings. It put off much of the nobility, especially in the first few years of their marriage, but Zuko had survived many an assassination attempt by then, and he valued his wife’s input above his closest advisors and never made a secret of it. The nobles could either accept it or risk losing their titles, which several of them did because they figured the Fire Lord was bluffing, only to find out he wasn’t in the slightest.

Katara was also active in the White Lotus, which she wound up leading along with Sokka and Zuko (who’d passed the mantle of Fire Lord onto their eldest daughter, Izumi, once they felt she was ready to lead), and when Aang passed away, they immediately began the search for the next Avatar.

Most of Korra’s early life would’ve been the same, Katara and Sokka saved her from the Red Lotus’ kidnapping attempt, and she wound up raised at the White Lotus compound where she learned waterbending, firebending, and earthbending, and was on the cusp of learning airbending from Tenzin (who was Aang’s kid with someone else–given his design, his mother could’ve been literally anyone, Toph or one of the returned Air Nomads or someone else entirely) when he got called back to Republic City, and she followed.

From here, well… ok, there’s a lot I would change about LoK just in general. Thinking specifically of how Zutara would have affected things, and with the stipulation that Aaron was still the head writer for LoK, I like to think that Katara wouldn’t have been rendered weak and useless (seriously, a bloodbender locked away Korra’s bending, but Katara–allegedly the most powerful waterbender alive, and the one who single-handedly got bloodbending outlawed–couldn’t undo it with bloodbending???), and would have been allowed to, for example, fight to protect her family (while Tenzin and his children wouldn’t have been her direct relations [unless, instead of Pema, he wound up marrying Zuko and Katara’s youngest daughter??? that’s an idea], they would still have been family, as Aang’s only living descendants) and taken a more active part in the water tribe civil war (which would have been given the narrative arc it was due instead of being a half-assed vehicle for ridiculous spirit world shenanigans). And besides, a gaang reunion episode where Zuko, Katara, Suki (because screw LoK for having her just up and disappear lmfao) and Toph fight the Red Lotus together just like old times??? That would’ve been fucking amazing.

(We got to see old ass men in AtLA fight like they were in their prime, including one who was over a century old. What was LoK’s excuse???)

Since we got the return of the Air Nomads in book 4 of LoK there would be no need for the spirit portals or the ‘harmonic convergence’, and instead Korra’s spiritual journey hinges on her trauma from the end of Book 1. The biggest difference, here, is that I have always been incredibly dissatisfied with the fact that Korra just stared sadly over the edge of a cliff and was suddenly able to unlock the Avatar State and get her bending back. Keeping in mind the way Aaron Ehasz excelled at character journeys in the original show, I think she should have ended book 1 with her bending locked completely. Katara was able to reverse whatever it was Amon did to her (and Amon, by the way, didn’t get killed–the Equalists also didn’t just disappear, and the thread of nonbender oppression carries through the rest of the series, to be revisited and finally resolved in book 4), but it didn’t give Korra her bending back, because the trauma she suffered was just as psychological as it was a physical block to her bending.

Book 2, therefore, would’ve included a narrative thread of Korra needing to go on her own spiritual journey to unlock her chakras and regain her bending, finally able to reac the Avatar State when the civil war between the water tribes reached a head, and she is finally able to broker peace, having learned a great deal about herself and her connection to the past avatars.

I realize that I’ve kind of derailed pretty far off the original point, so I’ll stop here with a general note that while Zutara, as a relationship, doesn’t affect a whole lot of this directly (for the most part it would just affect the parentage of the Gaang kids who showed up, the designs of some, and their relationships with each other and possibly with Korra)–however, with the addition of Book 4 and keeping Aaron’s writing talents for LoK, the landscape of the entire sequel would be altered. I’d like to think that he would’ve preferred writing a coherent narrative that did justice to the characters even if it meant ending the show with unresolved plot threads (especially since they could wrap things up with comics which, in this alternate timeline, are actually good and in character because I want to have my cake and eat it too), so rather than being disconnected plots that didn’t make much sense when each individual villain could’ve served as the entire series Big Bad, much of books 2 and 3 would’ve involved smaller scale plots and villains, with Amon returning for book 4 and everything getting wrapped up far more neatly than it did in canon.

TL;DR: while Zutara itself wouldn’t necessarily change a whole lot (it would affect Book 4 and the post-atla comics more) outside of the different Gaang kids and their dynamics, the show as a whole would’ve been vastly different if the writing team for LoK had been the same–including Aaron as head writer–as the writing team for AtLA.

Bryke were great Big Picture guys, great vision and visual guys, I’ve never disputed that. But they sucked at not missing the forest for the trees. They sucked at romance. And they really sucked at coherent plot and character development, especially in the small scale.

[doerunners]

tiger breeze :)

How I feel about this character

Okay, anyone with eyes knows I fucking adore Tiger Breeze. She is so fun and sexy and perfect and I wish she was real so I could ask her out and marry her. My soft spot for tough girls who refuse to show weakness becomes more and more apparent with each and every passing day. I think she is arguably the most underrated of the tribe leaders- personality-wise at least. We’ve already had the discussion of how she is one of the prettiest cats in Threeclans. Tiger Breeze is so fun and dynamic and I love how the tribe’s customs and lore is used so well in favor of her character. Seeing her during the spring, watching her kick ass and take names? It makes me so happy. She is so powerful and perfect. Anyways.

Tiger Breeze has gone through So Much Fucked Up Shit and taken on so many burdens that nobody else was willing to put the effort in for. She was the only spring cat to step up and take in Hollow when all was lost, when she was being torn apart by her own tribe after losing the home she’d been born and raised in. For moons and moons and moons, she was starving, being berated, blamed, betrayed. And she still held on, still nursing Hollow as they all starved, as the leaders bickered and fought over how to proceed. She lost connection to the ancestors, she lost everything. And still she remained strong. 

Two to-bes leave, the biggest “fuck you” any cat could have given their home. And she didn’t forget. And when they returned, well fed, groomed, having found some better place than the tribe, insisting they’re the tribe’s saviors? After watching her tribemates starve, watching them flea-infested, unable to move, get hit by cars and starve to death? After she’s held on so long, stayed strong, continued to fight tooth and nail to keep the cats she’s responsible alive? They’re the heroes? She puts them in their place fast. She rewards Aspen and Spark, examples of what those traitors should have been. That’ll show em.

She leads her tribe after them. They don’t get to run away and feast endlessly, leaping into the arms of these ‘Clan cats.’ No. If they’re going to live life without a care, so is the tribe. She fights, she puts herself at risk, inserting herself amongst the leaders, not asking them, Telling Them that the territory they’ve settled on is theirs now. She claims a new home for her tribe.

So she settles in. She’s done her job. Hollow is grown up, the Tribe has a home now. She’s done her job. She can relax. And then suddenly her nieces are in her lap and they’re her problem now. Great. She’s expected to be the mom of her brother’s dead boyfriend, a role she neither wanted nor asked for. Cool.

I could go on but its 12:30 and I have class tomorrow. My point is? Tiger Breeze’s whole life is practically dedicated to cleaning up the messes of everyone else and she deserves a break.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Tiger/Kink. I really shocked you with this one, huh Maya? Anyways- hear me out. I think there’s so much potential here just because they’re both so similar to one another, and yet their morals are so different. Tiger Breeze, since birth, has been raised to be a good caretaker. She’s had this stereotype to fill with being a passive, docile, loving, empathetic kit lover, never given room to grow outside that. She was raised under the expectation that she’d be cared for, she wouldn’t need to raise a paw to feed herself or protect herself. She found salvation by rebelling and makes a point of showing herself off, reminding others around her that she is not a force to be reckoned with- she’s not a doormat and any cat who thinks otherwise will have hell to pay. However, when it comes to being a spring cat, she feels awkward, out of place, like she’s not where she’s supposed to be. She’s so focused on being tough and strong that she feels out of place in a position so vulnerable as raising children- especially in the cases of Firefly and Butterfly, where the role of “mother” has been so unceremoniously forced upon her, a role she has no desire to claim. Tiger Breeze’s tough demeanor comes from being separated from motherhood. Kinktail? From birth, she’s been raised to be a fierce and loyal warrior. Her mentor was tough and demanding, and Kinktail worked hard to prove herself a loyal FogClan warrior. She had to learn everything, taking on so many different roles as FogClan warriors are expected. Where Tribe cats take on one specific role for the good of the many, FogClan cats take on all roles for the sake of self-preservation. Kinktail has been raised under the expectation she would be facing the world relatively on her own. Kinktail embraced this, loyal FogClan warrior to a T- only raising kits because it was the expectation to give back to her clan and add to its population. But, no father in the picture, the threat of traitors, FogClan changing so drastically through her pregnancy and her time as a nursery queen? Motherhood wasn’t an obligation- it quickly morphed into her identity. Her loyalty only began to shift as something more important entered her life. Kinktail’s tough demeanor was forged from motherhood. Both of them are strong, closed off mollies well regarded for their fierce, tough attitudes, but for entirely different reasons. As a result, I think them merging, Kinktail teaching Tiger Breeze to embrace motherhood without compromising her strength and Tiger Breeze teaching Kinktail to be less unhealthily reliant on motherhood, teaching her to move on from the dark parts of motherhood that haunt Kinktail? I think there’s SO much room for growth and depth there.Tiger/Feather. Okay. If Sketch somehow manages to steal Tiger Breeze from my grubby little fingers, I think there’s potential for a fun opposites-attract type thing with these two. Feather is the embodiment of friendliness and kindness, Tiger Breeze is the embodiment of “lmao why the Fuck are you looking at me” and seeing those two personalities merge together would be hilarious

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Ok these are gonna be shorter bc I’m starting to lose steam here.

Tiger&Butterfly and Tiger&Firefly. Ugh. The complex relationship these three have? SO fun and interesting and cool to watch. I hope that someday, as Firefly and Butterfly get older, sentient enough to realize how fucked up the situation they, Tiger, and Fading all had? They gain a close relationship with her where Tiger has a soft spot for them, protects them and spoils them ever so slightly, and Firefly and Butterfly can count on their aunt Tiger Breeze to be there for advice, to yell at people who fuck with them, so on and so forth. I really wanna see how they turn out once they’re teens/adults, and Tiger gets a little more separation from responsibility over them.

Fading&Tiger. Everyone knows what a soft spot I have for sibling relationships, especially ones as complex as this. I hope that, someday, when Fading gets to overcome the trauma he went through and gets a little more aware of how fucked that situation was/is, they can someday have a heart to heart and find some sort of middle ground/some respect for one another, even if it’s from a distance. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Tiger Breeze isn’t as bad a caretaker as everyone says she is. There, I said it. Is she a perfect caretaker? Would she be on the cover of “World’s Best Moms” magazine? Absolutely not. But I also firmly believe that Tiger Breeze does what she believes is right by those in her care, and even if sometimes her view of what’s right for them is a little bit skewed, I think she does care about those she looks after and does what she thinks they’ll need to grow up strong. She’s just a bit of a believer in tough love. 

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon.

I wish Tiger Breeze would fall in love. I’ll be the first person to admit a romantic interest a. should not be necessary for a cat’s storyline, b. should not be used as a means of “fixing” or “changing a cat (especially “for the better”) but I think Tiger Breeze, in particular, would be a really fun cat to see slip up with her feelings. So much of Tiger Breeze’s character is formed around the fact that she’s independent, she’s a bad bitch, she always knows what’s best, she’s being held back by the other cats around her, so on and so forth. Constantly, to her, she’s being forced to fall to a lesser standard because other cats won’t stop latching onto her when all she wants is to be alone. And it’s for that reason I’d love to see her finally deal with her, herself, holding her back because she feels herself starting to get attached to another cat. I want to see her lose her train of thought because she saw her crush out of the corner of her eye, I want to see her up giving the gathering announcements and pause just for a split second because she saw the cat’s eyes staring up at her, their attention fully on her. I want to see her lash out and tase this cat as some half-hearted way to distance herself from them- all because she blames them for how her mind has slowly been being taken over by thoughts of them. Maybe I’m just a stupid fucking romantic but there’s nothing that I love more than seeing strong cats fall victim to their own feelings.

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, CHARLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of CRESSIDA. Admin Rosey: Cressida was one of my favorite characters that I’ve ever written -- a petulant bubblegum princess who is unapologetic about who she is and what she is about, on a perpetual quest to find the love of her life, even at another’s expense. Every single portrayal that I have seen of her has been unique and absolutely mindblowing. I love seeing her come to life and Charlie I am so excited to see your plots for her come to fruition! Welcome back to the gang! We stan growth and pain in this household! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Charlie

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | 5-6/10. Currently, I only work part-time until fall when I pick up my studies again. However, the past has also shown me that I’m a rather relaxed writer who gets blocked if she feels stressed. Thus, I like to queue my replies and do them whenever I feel motivated. I’m basically around in Discord to plot and chat 24/7, though.

Timezone | CET

In Character

Character | Cressida aka Celeste Duval.

What drew you to this character? | I’ll just boldly assume that most of you recall me writing Celeste for a few months until I decided to leave the rp. While I thought about dipping my toes into a new pond (so to say), explore a new, different story, my fascination with Celeste has never fully gone away. There’s just still so much left to explore in her story, developments she can go through. Not giving her a try again, feels like a premature end, like I didn’t do her proper justice. I’ve also recently read Six of Crows which has increased my muse for Celeste considerably as the character Nina Zenik is just such a great inspiration for Celeste and actually made me realize how much I miss “my” beautiful girl who loves fiercely and bravely as much as she’s unashamed to be her own dramatic self. As silly as it probably sounds, I want to come home to my favorite rp with my favorite character.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

Plot 01: I know, I know, it’s a plot as old as time by now. However, as far as I know the whole Easton plotline has never really had any real consequences for her so far within the game. I want to change that because, after all, the whole thing can only go on so long. I want somebody to get suspicious of her, to confront her with the challenge of having to step up her game to keep the whole blackmail game a secret. Either she manages to get rid of Easton once and for all or she’ll be discovered which could also be very interesting. Because then she’d have to position herself well enough within the ranks of the Montagues to not simply be killed off for treason. Actually, I’d prefer the second option because it’d finally make her realize what she could lose. How important her current position is to her which she’s grown so used to that she doesn’t really value it anymore. All she can see is what she doesn’t have. Even though it might come across a little contradictory to the second plot, in my mind, it isn’t. In my mind, it’d be more a trigger for the second plot to start.

Plot 02: This isn’t her swan song, this is the sound of her wrath coming to everybody who’s ever stepped on or used her. I want her to snap, to finally have enough of being used for nothing but other people’s personal gain. She has a long history in that aspect and although she’s never been satisfied by it, has always known that she’s capable of so much more she’s tolerated it for her family’s sake. She’s married because her parents wanted her to, she’s started working for the Montagues to pay off her family’s debts. She’s allowed Easton to blackmail her to not risk putting the marriage, she’s never wanted in the first place, in danger. She’s done everything she possibly could just to get some of the recognition by her parents she’s been craving for so long. And at some point, she’s finally going to be done with it. She’s going to be done trying to impress people she’ll never be able to impress. She’s going to show everybody that they were wrong by treating her the way they did for such a long time. The last time I played Celeste, I started to put her down the road of starting to harvest her own power. To prove to herself and everybody else that she isn’t just a pawn but somebody with the potential to be powerful. I want her to start making more meaningful alliances around the Montagues, to build connections that could be of personal use to her in the hope of moving up the ranks. Also, I want her to put her on the path of realizing that she doesn’t stay with the Monts because she has to but because she chooses to. Because they’ve become her family, a place where she can grow and flourish.

Plot 03: I want to explore both her relationships with Isabella und Tomas further. The dynamic is quite the intriguing one, after all. Isabella is the love of her life, after all, but right now, Celeste also hasn’t reached the point, where she’d be willing to give up the ideas of what her marriage can do for her, just yet. Not to mention, that I imagine a part of her having grown used to Tomas love. After all, who doesn’t like to be loved and adored? However, I also can’t imagine this whole charade to go on forever. Tomas isn’t stupid, after all. Sooner or later he has to realize that something’s off. At first, she’d definitely fight for her marriage, especially if it should start to crumble at the same time of having her loyalty doubted from the Monts, simply because it’d be the only place where she’d still feel ‘powerful’. I can definitely imagine it to be sort of a cat and mouse game for a while with him doubting her and her trying to prove her faithfulness that never really existed in the first place. Not to mention that the connection Tomas has to Juliana would definitely hurt her ego. Not because she loves him but because the thought of being ‘replaced’ by somebody else, of not being good enough once more, is something she fears. It’s a fear she’s struggled with all her life, after all. However, her heart also craves to be with her lover again, the one person who’s always accepted her the way she is, where she never had to pretend or put on a show. But will Isabella still want her after all the shit Celeste has put her through? Doubtable. It’d actually be quite fun to see to have Celeste be the one doing the courting for the first time in forever, to see what she’d do to earn Isabella back.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Celeste would either demand a dramatic death that steals everybody’s show or sacrifice herself for somebody she cares about, but yes, either way, I’m comfortable with killing her off.

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona? | As simple as the question was, Celeste didn’t know the answer. In fact, all she knew for certain was what definitely wasn’t in line for a possible answer and that would have been her parents’ place, the home she grew up in despite it having been portrayed in interior design magazines more than once. Back at school, the other children had envied her for the breathtaking, magnificent house she was living in, had made countless comments on how amazing it must be to have such a house as your home, but how could a house possibly be a home if it was empty of any love and affection? All that came to her mind when thinking of that bloody damn house was how she was never going to be enough. No, the house was just like her parents, pretty on the outside, but cold and empty on the inside. Her current home most certainly wasn’t among her favorite places (or even remotely close to becoming one) either. Another perfect example of how beauty couldn’t always buy your favor. To her, it was nothing more than a cage, golden, yet a cage nonetheless. She might have grown to like it - after all, Tomas had done his everything to furnish it to her likings - if it wasn’t the home they both shared, if it wasn’t just another reminder of everything that kept her in chains. After a moment and after having brushed a strand of fiery red hair behind her left ear as if this had been all keeping her from replying immediately, she finally responded, her head slightly tilted to the right. “I think my favorite place in all Verona is the restaurant The Two Gentlemen. Have you ever been there?” In feigned interest, her eyebrows rose slightly. “Their risotto al tastatal is to die for.” A soft chuckle followed her words as she gave the interviewer a cheeky, kittenish wink. “And nobody can’t possibly say no to a plate of the best food in the city, am I right?”

What does your typical day look like? | The corners of her plump lips tugging up into a smile, the redhead leaned back a little, finding a more comfortable position on the chair. At least this was an easy question, one she could answer without having to carefully choose every single word. “Most days I get up at around 9am. By that time, Tomas has already left work for in general, but the darling that he is he lets me sleep in, even if that means not being able to have breakfast with his wife”, she flashed an (insincere) ‘isn’t he simply the best man a girl could possibly wish for?’ look at the interviewer. “After getting ready for the day, I’ll enjoy a delicious breakfast that’s already been prepared for me by our house stuff - unlike most Italians I actually prefer a proper breakfast with some seasonal fruits, crepes, ciabatta, and some coffee.” Most days she didn’t eat that much, though, she simply liked having a wide selection to choose from. There was no need for admitting that, however. “The rest of my day is usually open, except for some appointments with various charity organizations and causes I support.” There had been a time when she’d spend the day building a fashion empire, those days were long gone though. She hadn’t been working in the typical sense ever since her marriage, concentrating on indeed supporting charity organizations by throwing events of every sort, and, of course, her work for the Montagues which actually demanded most of her time these days. Being a whore with being blackmailed as a side job was pretty time-consuming, she couldn’t help but notice with some bitterness in her mind. Anyways, after all, it wasn’t as if she could let the interviewer in on that. Celeste flashed her best ‘i know you’d all love to be me’ look at him while casually straightening her dress - not that it really needed any straightening, it was perfect, just the way it was supposed to be.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far? | ‘Being born a girl’ was the response that was on the tip of her tongue as soon as she heard the question. Almost just as quickly, defiance took over her thoughts. There was nothing second-class about being a girl. she’d proven time and time again that she was just as capable and impressive as any son could have ever been. Not that her parents cared either way. All her life, she’d heard that her birth alone was a mistake, maybe even a punishment from God because what else could be the reason for it when they’d done everything in their power to ensure they’d get a boy? There was no certainty when it came to bearing a child - apart from the wonders preimplantation diagnostics could do, obviously, and even then there was no absolute certainty -, but, of course, it was easier to put all the blame on the child instead of accepting that it might not have been in the cards for them to get a little boy. Something they’d made sure to let Celeste now every single day. That it was her fault and her fault alone to have turned out such an utter disappointment, such a failure from the very first breath she took. Despite having tried to prove the opposite all her life - mostly to her parents, but also to herself when defiance yielded to insecurity - it still stuck. No matter if she liked to admit it or not. However, there was no fucking chance that she’d ever say that out loud. Especially not in a situation she could be dead sure that it’d be in tomorrow’s newspaper. Thus, the brunette smiled once more, slightly leaning forward in a casual motion and by doing so revealing a little more of her cleavage to the interviewer. If he was into girls, he was bound to enjoy the view - they all did. On many others, it would have been a noticeable movement, one would have known that the girl was trying to hide something. This wasn’t the case for Celeste, though. After all, she’d spent years perfecting this tactic, a little move into the right angle here, a little wink and touch there, it had taken her years to come close to mastering this art, but that was bound to be good for something, right? And she definitely didn’t want him to pester her further until she gave a response to that question that gave him the juicy story he was most likely looking for. She rested her chin on the back of her hand in the most typical thinking pose the world knew, showing off her freshly manicured fingernails. “I think the decision I regret most, if there even is any, is deciding to put my fashion line on the hold after marrying”, she replied, a thoughtful expression in her eyes before she shrugged slightly, “but then again, I don’t really regret that either. After all, I knew this line would take me frequently on trips all across Europe and how could I bare staying apart from my dear husband for so long?” She feigned a soft, girly giggle. “I guess we’re still acting like newly-weds in some ways.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? | It was amazing how connected the last two questions were she couldn’t help to realize with some bitterness in her mind. After all, the honest answer to this one was connected to the person who just as well could have posed as the answer to the previous question. In both cases, Isabella Gagliano was involved. One might argue that falling for them could hardly be her biggest mistake for claiming she’d decided to fall for her was claiming the seasons decided to change, that the earth decided to move around the sun. But that was only splitting hairs. Not that it really mattered because there was no possible situation in which she could ever think of her feelings for that gorgeous gift from heaven as a mistake. No matter in what big trouble it got her. And it had indeed gotten her in quite a mess. Even though she’d lived up to the most difficult and painful task she’d ever been faced with. It had been, hands down, leaving them. Of course, it had to be done, there hadn’t been any other way. No matter how tempting it might have been to maintain their relationship on the side, keep them as sort of a mistress when her husband was too busy with work to miss her in his bed. After all, how could she have continued their relationship if the one thing Tomas had asked of her was to be faithful of him? It had broken her heart, no had torn it apart until nobody but them (and maybe not even them) would have been able to put it together again the way it had previously been, but she’d done it nonetheless. Because that was what a good wife, a dutiful daughter, somebody truly worthy of the Duval name did. And she was all of those things. She had to be. Her chin still resting on the back of her hand, the redhead quickly thought of an answer that would satisfy the interviewer without exposing her most vulnerable thoughts. Luckily, she had years of experience thanks to countless galas and press interviews, one of the perfect examples of how practice made perfect (not that being less than perfect had ever been an option for somebody attempting to prove that she was the perfect daughter). “What I’m going to say next, is going to sound incredibly privileged, so I’m begging you not to judge me”, she responded playfully sharing a mischevious, conspiratory smirk with him, “I’m afraid I have to admit I’ve never really been faced with any truly difficult tasks. Most things have been handed on a silver platter to me.” Internally she let out a dry, bitter laugh as couldn’t hardly be further away from the truth. “The burden of being an only child to wealthy parents. I guess my most difficult task is getting dressed each morning and picking out the perfect outfit from the broad collection I’m so incredibly blessed to have.” Those words could have come off as incredibly snobby and spoiled, thanks to her charm she hoped they didn’t however. It was amazing what you could say if you only smiled charmingly enough if you had the right expression in your big doll eyes.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? If she was completely honest, Celeste couldn’t care less. The Capulets and Montagues could both go to hell for all she cared. After all, none of them had ever really done anything but exploit her. Maybe her hatred for the Capulets was burning brighter at the moment considering the kidnapping they’d recently put her through, considering how they used her even more than the Montagues did. But if it was up to her, both mobs could burn at stake and she’d dance on their ashes with a content smile gracing that famous, rosy lips of hers. Of course, giving an answer that came even remotely close to what was going on in her mind would mean signing her own death warrant. And she had no interest in ending her life just yet (or ever before having truly lived her own life, for that matter). So instead of giving an honest answer, her lips curled up into a charming smile, the sort of smile men fell for as easily as moths were drawn to light. “I’m afraid a young woman like me is hardly capable of giving a qualified answer regarding a complicated matter like this”, she responded, an apologizing expression in her emerald eyes, “after all, how can somebody who grew up as sheltered and privileged as I did really say anything meaningful about that?” Casually she tugged a strand of hair out of her face behind her ear, thus stressing her young, girl like appearance. “If you want to get some qualified insight on the latest Prada collection, I’m your girl, though.”

Extras: I actually came up with a pinterest board and a small playlist for Celeste:

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey High heels in her hand, swayin’ in the wind while she starts to cry, mascara runnin’ down her little Bambi eyes “Lana, how I hate those guys”.

Human - Christina Perri I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh, I can dance and play the part if that’s what you ask, give you all I am. I can do it.

Chandelier - Sia I’m the one “for a good time call”, phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell. I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Chromatics My mother says, “When you gonna live your life right?”, My father yells, “What you gonna do with your life?”

Unstoppable - Sia All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town. I’ll do it ‘til the sun goes down and all through the night time. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you what you wanna hear. I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am. I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am, I’m unstoppable.

Believer - Imagine Dragons First things first, I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been. Second thing second, don’t you tell me what you think that I can be.

Carmen - Lana Del Rey It’s alarming, honestly, how charming she can be, fooling everyone, telling ‘em she’s having fun.

This Is Me - Keala Settle They say no one’ll love you as you are, but I won’t let them break me down to dust.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 5/28/20

Dr. STONE, Vol. 11 | By Riichiro Inagaki and Boichi | Viz Media – Balloons! Yes, Dr. STONE is taking it upon itself to do something it does best, which is show off the gorgeous vistas of this not-really-that-explored future Japan it takes place in. And that means hot air balloons. It also means speedboats! But alas, just because Senku is a scientist does not mean he can cook. So they use some of the last remaining fluid to un-stone a butler-cum-chef-cum-everything, Francois, who is flamboyant and also a lot of fun. There’s actually some really good humor in this volume as well, be it the reporter getting her camera and its undercutting right afterwards, or Senku’s Einstein impersonation. This remains one of the essential Jump titles. – Sean Gaffney

Dungeon Builder: The Demon King’s Labyrinth Is a Modern City!, Vol. 2 | By Rui Tsukiyo and Hideaki Yoshikawa | Seven Seas – After wrapping up the cliffhanger from the first volume (he names his first monster girl, which gives her the power-up (and bust expansion) she needs to win), the cast gets down to the nitty-gritty of what he wants to do: build a city, not a dungeon, which feeds on positive emotions. Of course, there are a few problems. Location, labor costs, the neighboring demon lords, and of course Marcho’s impending death, which she seems to have accepted more than Procel has. This remains sort of mid-tier manga—not interesting enough to stand out, but the pages turn easily, and you could do worse. Also, brilliant pun for the back-cover blurb. – Sean Gaffney

Éclair Blanche: A Girls’ Love Anthology That Resonates in Your Heart | By Various Artists | Yen Press – The second of the Éclair anthologies to come out over here, this one seems to focus more attention on love that is already in bloom when the story begins than love that we see the start of. There’s a nice mix of funny, heartwarming, sad, and generally melancholic. Some highlights are “Azalea Corner,” about a minion’s crush on the arrogant ojou she follows; “The Unemployed Woman and the High School Girl,” which should be awful but is by Canno so is cute instead; and “That Summer Won’t Come Again,” about a girl trapped in her sister’s past who bonds with a senpai and learns to swim again. There’s good and not-so-good here, but overall well worth buying. – Sean Gaffney

Éclair Blanche: A Girls’ Love Anthology That Resonates in Your Heart | By Various Artists | Yen Press – This is the second Éclair anthology, but aside from two continuations, all the stories here are new. The quality varies, and it seems the better stories are in the front. The first story, Fly’s “Flowers in a Storm,” sets the tone for bittersweet, ambiguous endings with the tale of a first kiss that comes too late. There are also several stories about unrequited love for a friend who loves someone else, be it another girl, an idol, or a guy. Kabocha’s “Though Summer Won’t Come Again” is a standout, about a girl who assumes the senpai she’s developed feelings for prefers her older sister, as everyone else seems to. Unfortunately, I found the stories toward the end of the volume to be less enjoyable, particularly the final one, which includes the most awkward teacher-student embrace I have ever seen. Still, I will read the next installment when it comes out! – Michelle Smith

I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love | By Minta Suzumaru | Futekiya (digital only) – Yoshino Kiritani is a beautiful 30-year-old salaryman who happens to be both gay and a virgin. With no relationship prospects on the horizon and wanting to finally have sex, he goes to a gay bar, meets a charismatic college student named Rou, and sleeps with him. The back-and-forth that follows between these two guys is so well done. Rou is a notorious playboy with a hot-and-cold routine he has employed many times to manipulate his conquests into falling for him and confessing their feelings. He tries this on Yoshino, even though he’s actually serious about him, but it doesn’t work. Self-effacing Yoshino genuinely thinks Rou wants nothing more to do with him, forcing Rou to face the seriously scary prospect of rejection by declaring his feelings first. There are a few explicit scenes, but they serve the characters and story well. Highly recommended! – Michelle Smith

Love Me, Love Me Not, Vol. 2 | By Io Sakisaka | Viz Media – First of all, a word of advice to the author: don’t sink people’s ships in your author’s notes, OK? Secondly, this continues to have the strengths of Io Sakisaka titles—it gets teenage love in a good way, has characters who are likeable but clearly flawed, shows gradual character growth, and has clean, easy-to-follow art. She’s still trying to balance out the idealistic girl with the realistic girl, though it may be leaning towards the former. Sadly, it also contains what’s always been one of this author’s big weaknesses to me—I like her series but never love them. Each volume is fun to read and I’d call it good, but it’s never going to be tops in my favorite shoujo manga lists. It’s not life-changing the way a Yona of the Dawn is. – Sean Gaffney

Ping Pong, Vol. 1 | By Taiyo Matsumoto | Viz Media – Ever since Matsumoto was a guest at TCAF in 2013 and spoke in depth about the series, its development, and how it fit into his overall career, I’ve been desperately wanting to read Ping Pong in English. When the excellent anime adaptation came and went soon after and the original manga still hadn’t been licensed, I didn’t expect that we’d ever see it translated. But it is actually here! The first of two beautifully designed omnibus volumes. And I am absolutely in love with Matsumoto’s Ping Pong. Ostensibly a high school sports manga, Ping Pong spends very little time explaining the ins and outs of the game even though table tennis is essentially omnipresent; instead, the series devotes its attention almost entirely to the characters themselves. With strong psychological elements, in part the work’s themes explore talent, motivation, and self-determination, all supported by Matsumoto’s distinctive and spectacularly dynamic and expressive artwork. – Ash Brown

Prince Freya, Vol. 1 | By Keiko Ishihara | VIZ Media – The land of Tyr is threatened by Sigurd, the empire to the north. Our “wimpy and weak” heroine, Freya, happens to be the spitting image of Prince Edvard, who’s just been poisoned by Sigurd, and so takes on the role of impersonating him to protect her country. Alas, Freya’s performance as Edvard (and characterization in general) is inconsistent and in a way that doesn’t seem intentional on the mangaka’s part. Sometimes she boldly and capably takes action, sometimes she just cries. In my notes I wrote, “This ain’t no Basara,” prompted by a panel in which Freya is making an extremely insipid face because of something sappy her love interest has just said, but then something super dramatic and unexpected occurs and… well, now I’m cautiously on board. It may turn out to be fluffier than I would like, but I will at least give it a couple more volumes. – Michelle Smith

The Quintessential Quintuplets, Vol. 9 | By Negi Haruba | Kodansha Comics – There’s less swapping in this one, but the one time there is a swap it blows the reader out of the water. I suspect Ichika’s popularity took a nosedive after this volume, as her ideal of “all’s fair in love and war” is taken to a somewhat cruel conclusion. She’s not even the thirstiest of the quints, as both Nino and Miku are trying to make their feelings for Futaro as clear to him as possible. Meanwhile, Yotsuba is trying the opposite tactic, saying that she’ll support whichever sister that isn’t her he picks, showing off a core of self-deprecation that we’ve seen before, but never to this level. And then there’s Itsuki, who seems to have forgotten she was supposed to be first girl. Great harem antics. – Sean Gaffney

Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts, Vol. 9 | By Yu Tomofuji | Yen Press – I missed reviewing the eighth volume of this, for some reason; I’m not sure why. It continues to be quietly sweet, with a heroine who perhaps leans a little too much towards “can save everyone by the sheer power of being really nice.” That said, nice can only go so far, and when she discovers a country that’s being blackmailed into slavery, nice becomes determined and fierce. There’s also some tortured romance at the start—the king’s chief bodyguard and the princess’s attendant clearly are headed towards each other, but there are a few steps back here before we can move forward once more. I admit that I’d likely enjoy this more without its central conceit of animal people, but oh well. – Sean Gaffney

Snow White with the Red Hair, Vol. 7 | By Sorata Akiduki | Viz Media – I admit I was a bit more surprised than Shirayuki was at the identity of the leader of the Lions of the Mountain. That said, it does remind us that Shirayuki is another one of those great “shoujo heroines who underreacts to everything,” which can be quite amusing when done right. That said, this volume is when the series transitioned from the quarterly DX to the main LaLa magazine, and as such much of the middle part is taken up with introducing new readers to the main cast and the situation. This includes an amusing “personality reversal” chapter where Mitsuhide starts acting like a chivalrous knight. the book ends with the implication that their love is going public. How will that go? Great shoujo. – Sean Gaffney

Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina, Vol. 1 | By Jougi Shiraishi, Itsuki Nanao, and Azure | Square Enix – This is a manga adaptation of the first fourth or so of the light novel, and it’s a very good adaptation. I will admit that Elaina is a lot more expressive than I was expecting… her delivery in the novels is somewhat cool… but it makes sense given the manga’s visual medium, and she’s cute. This volume shows off what we’re going to get from now on: some cute fluffy stories, some melancholic stories with deaths, some stories of Elaina having to extricate herself from a situation, and some backstory showing how she came to be wandering. The final story was one of my favorites in the book, and it’s the best one here too. A nice adaptation. – Sean Gaffney

By: Ash Brown

[danielviza]

July 27th, 2017

I handed over this book to a friend. We exchanged gifts (bracelet and scarf) and stories. It’s a trusting bond of safety. I feel at home, at peace and happier with myself. I am still taking myself far too seriously and need to stop and enjoy the roses.

        It’s funny when you meet a person - and time stops.

        Everything around them drops, and the chords have ended, and there you are - bare bones with nothing to hide. Spending your time focused on exponentially growing your powers of communication.

        A great piece of knowledge shared today was that memories are stored differently to each perception

July 31st, 2017

She wants to learn how to record. A better perspective never hurt anyone. I believe in a better me, that will change the world and help the people around me.

        Antigenic drift

August 6th 2017

        “Semiamputated finger? Don’t worry, it builds character”

        Why worry about something that is no longer in your control? A double shift feels proper on this Sunday Morning. Joann, OJ and Sonia at the router. “The portrait of Dorian Grey”, “Family of Shadows, creating theatre and the playwrights guidebook. Sunday always feels good at work. I really hope I can stay on this positive track where the people around me are sharing the same positive energy. Staying silent has been a playful way

August 2nd, 2017

The summer has disappeared. I have made a new exotic friend. Emergency medical tech will be my Saturday adventure and chemistry on Tuesday and Thursday morning. I find myself writing more, and becoming more amused with myself. I will try not to spread myself too them AND be patient and wise with my mode of thoughts. If I can only make one person smile in the day, I've done my good duty. I will keep an intense rhythm from sun up to sunset.

I want to find better people to share my day with, that give me a genuine effort to bond. I need to not be so obsessive when I find new friends. I get overly excited and far too clingy.

Good rewards have blessed me this week, and I hope to keep working hard, in a good direction, giving meaning to the relationships around me. Staying focused, and giving thanks for the fortunes that walk into and out of my life. I want my body to  match the speed of my  mind. I appreciate a smiling face, especially one that sends you good vibes. If you're kind to the Universe - it will be kind right back

August 5th, 2017 2:57pm

Life keep getting better and beautiful and prosperous people and objects keep coming into my life. Please do not stop this positive stream of energy, everything seems to be going my way. Even with a paycheck half the size than usual, I am very happy.

Today I received a beautiful brand new desk from Big jeff, and the neighbor Marc, who was forced to move away due to remodeling, has blessed me with his leather couch and coffee table. I am desperate for cash as I see I need to put myself more out there in the world so that I may prosper economically.

My relations are starting to become more mature I sense. Now when I open my mouth I ten to try to do so with a purpose.

I love making up stories and entertaining eager ears. I wish to better my craft and go to a playwirhgting class this Tuesday.

August 10th, 2017 – 11:41pm

I’m going into another cycle of delusions and I think I like it this time. I feel the compelete grasp of the Universe underneath my finger tips. I will put my energy into the earth and prosper from it the best way I know how. A prosperous is always what I’m searching for, today for example, going home during my lunch break to deice my freezer and make myself a healthy smoothie. A gym session in the morning with Thalia was

August 15th, 2017 – 3:19 am

I’m going into another cycle of delusions and I think I like it this time. I feel the compelete grasp of the Universe underneath my finger tips. I will put my energy into the earth and prosper from it the best way I know how. A prosperous is always what I’m searching for, today for example, going home during my lunch break to deice my freezer and make myself a healthy smoothie. A gym session in the morning with Thalia was

August 16th, 2017 – 12:31am

Set your priorities straight

The people that matter first

Yourself

Get money

Go get the money you deserve

DOn’t stop the hustle

Keep making gold

Keep mining for more

Make your social circles exquisite

Take every day by force

August 16th, 2017 – 12:51am

Midnight secrets; psychic sounds blackened. Sonic depths sleeping - alluring sine waves; oscillated. Distorted imperfections. Tastefully brittle, screaming twists of obscurities. Losing human touch, as moonlight scorched by sunrise. The motif to our fire; the pleasure of our silence.

August 17th, 2017 – 11:33am

Ill refresh these windows

Hoping for a message

Stare at these classic pictures

In hopes to serenade your screen

Fill you with lines

You’ve only dreamt of

Keep you in suspense

Wanting more

Move swiftly

Believing

Black and white lines

Define us

Dilute us

Into one beautiful

Melody.

The power of not responding tends to leave other ostracized.

An imaginary play thing for your convenience.

Some people require brevity.

Others require silence.

Is this your attempt

At being exotic?

I deserve more respect

Than whimsical thoughts

Captivate her with an image

Questions of the symbols

That float in her mind

Leave your cynicism

at the door

She’s giving space

Afraid of everything possible

What a fool

To ever think this person

was sincere

or ever cared

or knew how to love another person

She is selfish

All she knows is herself

And her own life

Unpleasant to the lives of others

Your other relations are much more important

They know you

They impress upon you

They do not “get” anything

Nothing is worth their wild with

August 19th, 2017 – 8:23pm

Making money has become a habit

It all depends on the language you speak

The people making money around you

August 21st, 2017 – 5:10am

Premise - His love for a sheltered girl has him commit a crime which ultimately destroys their friendship.

Love crimes hold a social standard. You may do a wrong thing, but ultimately it felt right.

Characters are in constant change.

He learns that his wrong way isn’t always right.

She learns that the rules are meant to be broken

Premise - Love should be pursued, no matter the conditions.

Her growth - she learns that pain and the unknown is the true teacher and master of life.

He sees that his decision will hurt her, but will make her grow

His growth - He sees an innocent person crushed, just as he was crushed as a child.

August 2nd, 2017

I can’t relate to any off these over achieving perfect life mother fuckers where nothing has gone wrong for them.

SO much has gone wrong for me and here I am trying to change my mode of thinking, my mode of survival, my thoughts, the spirits that haunt me and the actions that I am trying to hold myself form giving back to the world. I am a part of a beautiful organization, but I am in the wrong position.

Although I want to see and learn, and be a part of medicine, I want to redefine the status quo. I do not want to be around a bunch of eggheaded nurses that do not know anything about reality. Why do I envy these people so much? Why must I transfer these ugly feelings? Why do I yearn to climb these social ladders so much. I want my soul to connect with someone, not my damn paycheck. Stop looking at my wallet and the temporary happiness it can buy you. The real tricks is in the details of your art. The reality is the human body and keeping it in motion constantly, moving to your next goal and desire.

Write up the diagnosis to your situation

August 22nd, 2017 – 9:13pm

You crave for her

To validate you

Give you reassurance in the world

That you are loved

Adored

Beyond most in her realm

Stop messaging these people

August 24th, 2017 – 12:09pm

You’ll out grow all your teachers and push the boundaries.

Trust no one

What is the point?

They end up turning on you

Showing you a mask you’ve never seen before

Something you would have never fathomed

Why be around corrupted people?

With there corrupted thoughts?

Always trying to have a power over you

Always trying to be better

Always trying to come up

Always wanting more

Never Being satisfied

You already learned all their moves

You have all they’re magic up your sleeve

You got exactly what you needed from them

What else do you want?

You can’t ask for more

Learn their moves

There manner

They’re style

See what you can be

They can know longer teach you what you already know

Make a safe and creative environment

For yourself

Not others

They are far too self interested

You have emotional problems Daniel

Face them

Know that it is your strength

You achilles heal

Although people may fall in love with you

They will learn to despise you

To know

That a negative vortex such as yourself

Is not good for anyone

You are far too sensitive

Realize that

Harness your power

Your sensitivity will be your great ally

You biggest foe

Realize the defeat of your sentiments

You will die alone

Do not be around

Or hand around

Social Climbers

They are detrimental

The people you meet at school

Are children

As you are one

Become knowledgable

Become a teacher

DO not be a know it all

Know that you know nothing

Is everybody lying?

Or am I the biggest one?

Am I the king

August 27th, 2017 12:58am

Grace and beauty

In every moment

Honoring your community

Giving praise

To the good beings in the world

Today

The lady behind The bakery counter

Gave me the biggest smile

A warm feeling of happiness

1:36am

Positive patience is death defying and relentless. (Great Love)

Negative patience has no resilience, no inner strength to endure hardship.

(To withstand hunger, torture, physical and mental suffering - This negative strength is very aggressive in the sense that it provokes counter-action)

A pivotal character is necessarily aggressive, uncompromising, even ruthless - and must not merely desire something.

They must want it so badly they will destroy or be destroyed to attain their goal.

Not everyone can be a pivotal character.

One whose fear is greater than their desire; has no great, all-consuming passion cannot be a pivotal character.

They are forced out of sheer necessity;not because it is willed.

Poverty encourages crime - a ruthless social force making poverty possible.

If the pivotal character matches emotional intensities of their adversaries, they have a much smaller compass of development - a lack of growth

In life, we as people are attacked, and through this, also the social forces which make us what we are.

If the pivotal character weakens, another representative is needed whom can faithfully serve the forces behind them.

These forces behind us created us.

Never become a static character.

August 28th, 2017 1:37am

I need the attention

What a bitch

As I type

To regulate my feelings

Figuring out

What are my needs and wants

Psychotic

Those episodes

Are maddening

They are all consuming

Light up the sky

Put out your energy

Burn these mother fuckers

Like they burned you

Put them back in the ground

Give them all the energy you got

Make it intense

Tell them what you really feel

August 31st, 2017 – 3:28am

In my bunker, all by myself. A 2 am late night Jack in the Box run for $9.54 will keep me alive tonight. I regret not having a stock refrigerator with a plethora of healthy goodies and eats. I look forward to Tomorrow’s chemistry class and hope to really focus

September 2nd 2017 – 8:28 am

What an amazing campus. Pasadena City College has blown me away once again. I love this school - they keep fascinating. Smile, be confident. show people you care and have a genuine interest. Do not be a general person - be phenomenal. Get through this material as most voraciously as you can. Get on the fast lane - punch it. No regrets. Burning rubber will be another pass time. Move faster.

Be better.

Focus on putting your energy into the world.

Last night was a working night on Colorado; networking and

September 5th, 2017 – 12:21am

Kill the Crickets, let them die -

G9

FMaj7

Where you trying to go?

Who you trying to be girl?

I love you anyways

You gotta change

Why you gotta fake all that stupid shit

I know you love me

Stop being a bitch

You’re talking to yourself

Stop being a bitch

You’re talking to yourself no

Making Gold records

Thinking about you

I always want to be about you

I remember the time I saw your face

The feeling I would get

When I saw it again

Till me one more time

You don’t love me

I get

I Get it

I don’t love me anyways

Ill drink to all the shit I did

I’ll love you anyways

Let me tell you a little secret about my life

The best part about my life

Is that I control the reigns to my life

No one’s ever told me what to do

No one’s ever going to tell me how to do it

It’s always been up to me

Now tell me

What’s your biggest strengths?

Well sometimes I feel that I can follow my own instincts

Wrong

What do you know about insticts

Look into yourself and tell me what you think about instincts?

Do you really love your own instinct?

What’s your instinct telling you right now?

Take everything too serious

fuck these stupid people

bringing you down

with their negative signs

fuck them

be alone

you are a gift to others

don’t give them

your precious time

they deserve none of it

stay alone

you are 2 years young

you need nothing from these people

you are the world

create and build

be the example

they just want the attention

fuck their intentions

you were nothing to them

from the start

why do they even care

why do you even bother?

fuck their approval

they are rotten to the care

they have no backbone

or self respect

they ride on the securities of others

they do not sincerely think of you

the way you think of them

it will always be one sided

that is your curse

September 8th, 2017 – 12:54am

I dream of you often

Lost in a fervor

Of broken people

Always coming through my door

In hopes of someday seeing you

Those dreams are dead

Forever gone

The storm

The calm before the storm

We’re grown

Alone

Without another being

Peter Pan

He doesn’t believe in psychologist

Therapies

You must close cycles

This happened

It is over

Stop searching

Stop opening and remembering

Opening and remembering is fine

Once

But not over and over

The cycle is closed

Move on

Move Forward

Don’t let the emotions overcome you

The head of psychiatrist

Would close him

In music

Morning

Morenitos

The racism

The white skin, the blue eyes

Grandma would chose favorites

The injustice

The lack of love

With the highest regard

too such poor and lonely students

Crying like a child with an oxygen tank

It already passed

Pautas

Guidelines

Making the best

Carrying the heaviest weight on my shoulders

Search for your honor

Through the generations

The indépendance

Who will lay you down to rest?

When you are ready to leave

Don’t let your emotions win

Analyze

This your life

Your time

We’ll always live good

We will be gone soon

Will you stay miserable?

What will you do?

Analyze your situation

Well

September 9th, 2017

I enjoy these minutes in my day - they are full of intensity. I have a problem slowing down; I like that. Will I stay hypertensive, or will I thrive in the environment of pressure? I had an hour lung conversation with my Tia Ruth yesterday in the morning after not being accepted into my Chemistry Lab. She told me stories that tI will never forget, memories of her brothers and the final moments of Rene. She enlightened me on the mental capacity of our family; my fate.

        Do I burn the bridges behind me and start fresh? As now, my mind is realigned into my destiny - into my dramatic need. How I can carry the shadows of my family on my back.

The disease of normal functioning - overcoming my weakness. Am I slow to show my emotion? Is being reserved killing the animal I was born as? Do I look for a more ferocious sense of life everyday?

Meet people that you’re going to learn with and from; reciprocate the feeling.

The words “We all remember things the way we remember them. Like pulling a book out of a shelf, experiencing the words, closing the covers together and sliding it back into your memory. Move swifter throughout the day. Use all the strength in your body, mind and soul. Find a balance in all the things you do, but above all focus and do not steer from your pathway to success. DO not torture your mind

September 10th, 2017 5:23pm  

Will I ever know life

Outside of you?

You keep playing on

Who you playing on?

Didn’t want to know much

‘Till I met you

What’s going on?

Can you be strong?

How can you e so cold?

How can you be so cold?

Guess your happy now

Never really cared much

‘Till you came along

I sleep

Dreaming of you

Everyday

Didn’t really know to much

Till you sang

You went away

You went away

September 20, 2017 12:56pm

I dream of you often

Your life

Your Well Being

A glorious friend of mine

A near extinction

My most delicate of friends

A beautiful rarity

I wish most for

September 21, 2017  7:43am

Will you remember all this danger?

The cunning in your words

Living life on a tightrope

Searching for your next victim

She longed for a kiss

She yearned to be embraced

Ravished

In a manner unexplained

September 23rd, 2017

What’s the point of your life if all the moments in between are a blur? What are you?

Do not anticipate for something to happen

Make it happen

Put yourself out there

Don’t be afraid of rejection

It happens constantly

Bounce back

Find a reason

October 8th, 2017

He attempts to speak

she whispers out loud

He fights

To

open the universe

devour

her gasoline fire

that melts flesh

finding beauty

in a tarnished

subcut

Have you seen a supernova burn?

With gases

Infusing

burning oxygen

consuming all

Burning the eyes

Leading your desire

Of scorching your name on the earth

In the hopes

That her eyes will lay upon you

I’ll mumble these thoughts

As I sleep

As I dream about a peace

I’ve lost since parting

Tools strictly for departing

October 8th, 2017

Last night I nearly cracked.

Today I will make better decisions.

I refuse base things.

I shall realign myself

October 8th, 2017 – 3:02pm

Maybe in a dream.

I felt you

The passion in your bones

The quiver of your lip

Let our death

Become our immortality

In the loss of reticence

October 25th, 2017

Colloquially are shared amongst the finest; cheers.

October 27th, 2017 – 9am

Chemistry Laboratory kicked my ass once again. I am not taking the information given to me and truly giving meaning and analysis towards my final product. My paper game has become weak; I have yet to impress myself once again. My scientific writing style is not adequate enough and I hope to boost my levels of understanding as a scientist. Bonds, and the strength of bonds have become

Not all bonds are equal. This is not an easy process, going ab

Born-Haver cycle. An alternative approach to the same answer.

December 2nd, 2017 1:16pm

My twenty ninth birthday is in 8 days. I find myself alone, once again. I begin to wonder if it is me or the way I conduct my relations.

Friday December 9th, 2017 10:37am

Pasadena Hilton was a lovely venue to perform for my immediate coworkers. I had the chance of showing my good friend David a cool place to be with the people he works with. Catching up with Andrew Le was very nice as we hope to spend some time together hopefully before the new year commences. I was happy to make the party organizers feel more confident about their occasion.

Relations have soured as my father begins to learn his place in the world.

December 12th, 2017 10:01am

War is over now

The battlefield has settled

Limb for limb

We lanced

Limb for limb we fell apart

Put your weapons away

They don’t work anymore

The battle is over

No one has won

Let these moments

Sink into your dreams

December 18, 2017 2:57pm

The blood, guts, tears, vomit.

The sounds and smells of desperation.

The need for another human being to take care of those fallen.

Ill, lost, hopeless, in fear of everything out of there control.

Wake up every day, to the sounds of medical machines that never stop working.

When will these folks get a break?

Janurary 2nd, 2018

Don’t become these drones that are stuck on their phones all day. Be a person that can have a sincere conversation and can actually reach out to people. Develop your communication skills. Apologize for your verbal slip ups. Do not be afraid of showing genuine expression. What’s the point of hiding your true self? They’re going to find out who you are anyway, so don’t give them a reason to point fingers.

Janurary 3rd, 2018 7:59am

Seven thirty in the morning starting off with nutrition class - starting off with getting some respect by the professor for the mohawk. I hope that this becomes one of the classes that changes my life. How is there a way to find the right information and use it for better? This professor seems to be brilliant from the start, a harness I hope I can harness.

[lookwhatilost]

i finished my second watch of bojack s6 p1 and here’s a predictably massive post of some thoughts/observations abt it

spoilers under the cut obviously

the “fuck” of the season definitely came in a moment that i didn’t expect, but i rly liked how it was used. like, it was a callback to when gina dropped it in the last season –– something that traumatized her vs a reaction to her PTSD symptoms. a lot of people seem unhappy w it but i think it’s more powerful than people are giving it credit for being

the gatsby reference in e3 rly brought to mind that there are, like, a lot of gatsby tie-ins w this show and i never rly pasted them together mentally bc of the ubiquity of the “rich guy is utterly depressed and alone” trope. like, the imagery related to the pool, the shallow parties, the yellow car, the spacious but empty house, the billboards staring him down as he drives when he’s hallucinating in s5. charlotte/daisy being a weak parallel in that he had feelings for her when they were younger, held onto them for years, only for her to be married when they reconnect, but it’s worth mentioning that the glow stick balloons were green.

someone on reddit pointed out that jameson’s baby in e1 had physical traits associated w fetal alcohol syndrome. like, short, upturned nose, eyes that are far apart, and low ears. it’s hard to say if it’s intentional, but he’s drawn w a lot more detail than a lot of the other babies i’ve seen in the show. if it’s purposeful, like, that’s amazing attention to detail

i liked how the season opened on a planetarium flashback, because honestly, the immediate aftermath of sarah lynn’s death is definitely kind of glossed over in s3 when it initially happens. and though i suppose the added information isn’t terribly surprising (like him lying abt the events that lead up to her overdose and minimizing his own role in it as much as possible), it did make me wonder why i hadn’t thought abt it before

bojack rly does show signs of serious growth in the 6th season and it’s cool to finally see him move forward w/o simultaneously backsliding in other ways. a lot of his good actions in previous seasons were only rly things that benefitted him. and there are a lot of examples of it, but i think the one that stuck out to me the most was w his therapist. when he fell off the wagon, it’d have been rly easy for bojack to look the other direction and walk away like we’ve seen him do before. realistically, he has no real incentive to care for doctor champ’s wellbeing if he’s no longer staying at pastiches, but he checks him into rehab anyway, and when doctor champ throws his insecurities in his face to be hurtful, he immediately identifies it for the petty jab it is instead of letting it fuel his negative thoughts and using it as an excuse to dive into self-destructive behavior. honestly e6 was the emotional high water mark of part 1, even though it wasn’t the kind of gut punch that the dramatic, narrative focused episodes of bojack tend to be

i’m glad that the writers finally /did/ something w todd that made him feel like an actual character instead of jst a device for the comedy part of the show. i used to watch this show w a friend and we always used to say that todd had very little depth given the amount of screen time he occupies and seeing them move away from that was refreshing. his struggle w jorge is very relatable as someone whose parents have always pushed me towards things i didn’t sincerely want based on their expectations and desires for me vs my actual opinions of what success and happiness would look like for myself. but, on the other side of the coin, there’s finally a little bit of confrontation of the fact that todd’s erratic behavior and shenanigans are very taxing things for people who care abt him to deal w. and todd is rly the only character who’s somehow defied the show’s formula in that he never faces accountability for the things he does. like, he’s enabled PB’s impulsivity many times and drove him to bankruptcy, care of PB Livin’, and it’s a detail in the show that’s never truly been acknowledged or talked abt at all. he fucked PC over when he wouldn’t follow through w his sham marriage to courtney, and it was met w a cheesy speech from her abt how he needs to follow his heart and do what he thinks is right. it always struck me as a weird oversight, and to finally see someone take him to task for how taxing his behavior can be was refreshing. his only other “depth” was the asexual stuff and honestly? that is stupid and does not actually count for anything

if it didnt warm your heart when PC named her daughter ruthie then you dnt have one. i wasn’t as invested in her narrative as i’d have liked to be, but its good when PC is happy and that’s what everyone wants

IM SO GLAD JUDAH IS BACK. also i still hope he and PC end up together (and maybe she has a viable pregnancy this time w him a la sex and the city charlotte but that’s a little too cornball sappy for this show). generally rly enjoyed how characters from previous seasons were incorporated this time around. but i dnt want them to bring back vincent adultman jst to spite everyone who’s always saying “bring back vincent adultman”

pickles is still my least favorite character even tho the surprise wedding episode was probably the one i found the funniest. realistically i wanna see things work out for PB but his relationship w her is obviously not the move for him, and she’s also the worst

i like diane and guy together, they have rly good chemistry but i also have a bad feeling abt where things are headed w them. he seems ambivalent abt how principled she is and the scene where his son comes to the party and he makes her leave when he could have jst introduced her as a party guest if it even needed to happen at all... there was jst something off abt it. like you can definitely see the cracks in the foundation already and it’s disappointing

the scene btwn PB and bojack where bojack says to him “but i understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt, not burden other people w it. you think you’re protecting them from your toxicity, you convince yourself that you’re being selfless, but it comes out in other ways and it infects everything” hit close to home bc it reminded me of someone i used to bond over this show w and like... whew

i rly love how the dominoes are being set up w the reporters (even tho their his girl friday shtick got old fast) bc the way things are culminating, the story getting out is liable to expose bojack for everything. if they approach penny and she talks to them abt what happened, she’s liable to tell them that bojack and sarah lynn went to ohio to find her in the time before sarah lynn overdosed, and the pictures that her classmates took of them could establish a time frame. he was in new mexico when he was supposed to be filming secretariat, and that knowledge could lead to them finding out that he’d been digitally replaced in the movie. when this information gets out, it’s very likely that gina will dogpile onto it w the truth abt what happened on the set of philbert, since trying to conceal her ptsd is actively hurting her acting career bc of the reputation she’s developing as a problem actress, and even though she dznt *want* to be “that girl that got choked by bojack horseman”, she won’t have a choice if she can’t get jobs otherwise. i guess there’s always a chance that penny and charlotte won’t talk to them, but now that hollyhock knows about what happened in new mexico, either way his personal life will be hurt by this. i’m not sure what’ll happen to him professionally, since there’s a recurring point the series has been making w famous people never being held fully culpable for their negative actions, and it’s a dicey thing for them to approach w a character that many viewers find sympathetic without ending on some myopic note abt cancel culture (whether intentionally or by popular interpretation) but im excited

i also hate how my obsessive watching and rewatching of this show meant that the intended pete repeat reveal (like, you’re not supposed to recognize him until his identity becomes obvious through the prom night story) was sort of compromised for me bc i recognized his voice and the second he introduced himself, i placed him IMMEDIATELY but it was still such a great scene. it’s the most tense i remember feeling when watching and an all around great cliffhanger

the final line of e7 comes off as some rly grim foreshadowing–– “it looks like you found solace in our show. stay if you’d like. in 30 minutes, we start over”. but it’s such an incredible line in context. my god, i fucking love this show, you guys

[ampersands-and-guitars]

The Halfway Point of S11

While I think Jodie Whittaker has made a wonderfully vibrant and engaging Thirteenth Doctor, I am finding myself feeling increasingly concerned about the lack of depth in Chibnall’s writing thus far. Five episodes in, and I don’t feel as though I have much sense of who she is, or how she views herself. We also have little sense of how Yaz, Graham, and Ryan relate to her, and halfway through the season, that does worry me.

I hate to be That Person™, but I need to refer back to Moffat’s writing to explain. Moffat was very inwardly focused on his core characters. With Eleven and Twelve, their words and actions were more than just surface level, and we explored that in nearly every episode. You had to read between the lines, watch their facial expressions, and understand that Moffat wanted you to think independently from the Doctor was doing or saying. In fact, he demanded that of the viewer. There has always been a big difference between who the Doctor is and who they try to be, what they say and what they actually do. That the Doctor is nothing more than a bloke (or a lady) in a box, that there’s no such thing as “The Doctor.” Moffat brought that theme into sharp focus during his time as showrunner. So far, Thirteen’s words and actions feel very much like they should be accepted at face value. 

Not only was there a ton of work done regularly to build upon how the Doctor viewed himself — there was also regular focus on the shifting Doctor/Companion dynamic. Thus far, I’ve seen so little Doctor/Companion exploration, and it’s something I’m deeply missing. Yaz, Graham, and Ryan want to travel with her to escape the normality of life, to escape work, to escape grief. All interesting, potentially dangerous motivators worth exploring. But what do they really know about Thirteen? What interactions have they had that have given them better insight into who she is as a being, how she ticks? They haven’t asked her many questions, either — about herself or how she handles the task at hand. While Yaz, Graham, and Ryan are bonding and learning more about one another in wonderful tiny character moments, they feel almost separate from their traveling guide — detached. They haven’t seen her do anything except be sweet and quirky and solve problems. They haven’t seen her darkness, her depth, or her past come to light. They haven’t seen her fail or interfere in a bad way or even lose her temper. It has just been very straightforward adventures in space, which is fun and light, but not nearly the depth I’ve grown accustomed to.

And again — I can’t help but think back to Moffat’s first episodes with new Doctors and/or companions. This comparison isn’t meant to take away from those who love what Chibnall is doing — if it’s resonating with you, awesome. But the rich Doctor/Companion relationships Moffat gave us straight out of the gate I find myself really missing these days. 

Let’s use the examples of Amy/Eleven of Twelve/Clara, two relationships close to my heart and honestly, offhandedly the easiest for me to recall at the moment. 

·      In Amy and Eleven’s first encounter, we feel an incredibly deep bond between them from the get-go. Eleven meets her as a little girl, accidentally abandons her, comes back years later, abandons her again, and then finally whisks her away at the end of the episode. We learn so much about how Amy views the Doctor throughout this episode. How she worships him because he was her “Raggedy Doctor” everyone thought she made up. How she has a life at home — Rory is far more in love with her than she is him at this point, and she has always been holding out hope, waiting, for that opportunity of something more exciting than a life with him. Eleven is that something “more exciting,” and much of her life and internal struggle while traveling with him is centered on that — how as she ages, she goes from wanting to run away to missing her normal earth life and being disturbed by the idea of running away. From wanting to maintain her childhood imaginary friend to wanting, needing to grow into the woman she’s ready to be. Eleven and Amy begin with this rather dysfunctional, childlike relationship that is crucial to their relationship arc.

In The Beast Below, Amy’s second episode with Eleven, she learns more about him — or at least, we as viewers learn more of how she sees him. That he won’t interfere unless children are crying. That he’s very old, and very kind, and the very last of his kind. That he has to make incredibly hard, life-and-death choices in his travels, and that he needs an outsider’s perspective to keep him grounded. She learns of some of his flaws, but also feels more sure in her unwavering belief in him — something that follows her throughout her time with him.

·      I won’t ramble on about Twelve and Clara because we all know I could do that endlessly, but I do want to point out some truly brilliant moments of them learning one another in their first few episodes. Immediately, the new pair are essentially two new people thrown together, even though Eleven and Clara had history. Clara can no longer hide behind her mask alongside her charming Eleventh Doctor — Twelve is exposed, raw, honest, and brings out elements of her personality she tried to keep hidden. They are learning each other all over again.

·      In Into the Dalek, Clara is alarmed at who this Doctor has become — how he puts people in danger, how wants to be right at any cost, how seemingly cold he can be. Twelve is so unsure of himself, so unsteady, and at the beginning of the episode, Clara offers him no comfort — she tells him she frankly isn’t sure if he’s a good man. By the end of the episode, she revises this — she doesn’t know if he’s a good man or not. But she thinks he’s trying to be, and that’s probably the point. This idea of trying to be good is crucial to Twelve’s growth, particularly in S8.

Episode 3, Robot of Sherwood, is another favorite of mine early in Twelve’s run because it, again, shows how Twelve views himself and how Clara is understanding his new personality. He is so bitterly against the idea of a hero like Robin Hood being real, asking Clara when she started believing in “impossible heroes.” “Don’t you know?” she responds sweetly, surprised that the Doctor doesn’t realize he has always been her role model. He is again told he is Clara’s hero by Robin Hood himself. When Twelve denies the idea of being a hero, Robin gives a wonderful monologue about the importance of pretending to be a hero, trying to be a hero — to inspire others to be heroic in their names. Because stories make us fly, and that theme is central to both Clara and Twelve.

These are just examples I can quickly remember of the brilliant character work and relationship building done very early on in Eleven’s and Twelve’s eras. Chibnall is clearly going a different route, and while that is perfectly fine, I’m hoping for a little more substance in future episodes.