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illfoandillfie · 10 months

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2023 Advent: Day 4

This is another idea that popped into my head while I was planning all these blurbs out. Partly inspired from me writing smut at work lmao. But I think somehow this one ended up the longest of all the blurbs (that I've written so far anyway)

Warnings: workplace sex, p in v sex, fingering, neck kisses, unprotected sex, minimal editing

Everyone has a way they make money to pay the bills. For you it was a boring office job, but you were trying to change that. You’d always enjoyed writing but it was only in the last couple of years that you’d begun to consider it seriously as a potential career. You’d had an idea for an erotic romance novel, spent the better part of a year working on it and, miraculously, a publisher had picked it up. Then you’d written another and another, all published under a pseudonym of course. None of them were best sellers, they’d never topped a popularity poll, but they were a good second stream of income. Enough people bought them that it was worth it to keep publishing, and you hoped that one day you’d catch a lucky break and manage to turn it into a full time job. Until then though, you wrote when you could. During the week it was mostly late at night and on your lunch breaks, but you had a deadline approaching and were a little behind where you’d hoped to be, so you’d taken to pulling your draft up during work hours.

You’d long ago stopped being embarrassed about writing at work. Your screen was mostly hidden from view, angled so that anyone who came to your cubical wouldn’t be able to see exactly what you were doing. And no one would question a word document anyway, they’d assume it was a report or something else for the company. So it wasn’t that you were embarrassed this time, but you were a little more anxious to keep your screen hidden since you were in the middle of a very steam sex scene. Up until now you’d managed to only write the spicy sections in the privacy of your own home, sticking to flirty banter and location descriptions at work. But you wrote best when you were writing in order and you were at the part where the main couple finally had sex. The culmination of pages and pages of build up and sexual tension.

Perhaps some of your discomfort came from the fact that it was a workplace romance, set in an office not dissimilar to the one you were currently sitting in. Your hero and heroine had flirted at the water cooler and accidentally kissed in a supply closet much like the ones you saw daily. And, worst of all, your hero had a passing resemblance to one of your colleagues. Gwilym was the best of the IT guys, always friendly when you ran into him in the break room, always helpful when you had any tech problems, and unfairly handsome to boot. Too handsome for IT. You’d given your leading man a much more high profile job but the same chiselled jaw line and deep eyes that Gwilym had. It hadn’t been a problem when you started. After all, no one at the office was likely to read it and if they did it could hardly be traced to you since your author name was entirely different to your real one. But it would be incredibly embarrassing if anyone, or god forbid Gwilym himself, caught sight of the screen. But you relaxed more as you got further into the scene and no one came to interrupt. The words came easily as you described the couple becoming trapped in the copy room, eventually resorting to fucking on a copy machine. A little comedic but mostly focused on the spice. You were really hitting your stride, the heroine close to falling apart under the hero’s expert touch, your cubical neighbours probably thinking you were having a very productive day with all the click clacking of your keyboard, when your phone rang.

Grumbling a little about the interruption right at the literal climax of the scene, you picked it up and put on your politest work voice as you answered. “Hi Y/N, it’s Gwil from IT.” You suddenly felt warm and less annoyed about being disturbed, “Hi Gwil, how can I help?” “Sorry to interrupt, I just had a flag pop up that there could be something wrong with your computer.” Your first thought was for your manuscript and you hastily saved it just in case, “That doesn’t sound good.” “If there is something wrong, it shouldn’t be too hard to fix. But I do need you to clarify a couple things for me, just so we can determine what the cause of the issue is. Are you able to pop down to my office?” “I can come right now.” “That would be amazing. I’ll see you in a minute.” Composing yourself you closed your document and began to head downstairs to the IT department’s rooms, wondering all the way at what the problem might be. You were always careful about what links you clicked on, so you doubted it was a virus or anything too worrying but still, you didn’t want to lose any of your manuscript, or your actual work, in some sort of freak tech failure.

The IT rooms were overcrowded and stuffy, the walls lined with shelves of equipment – backup monitors, boxes of loose cords, spare computer parts for quick fixes. Gwilym met you as soon as he heard you arrive, apologising for the inconvenience of it all. “I would have come up but it’s just me at the moment,” he gestured to the empty desks his coworkers usually occupied, “so I can’t really abandon my post.” “Oh, no trouble at all. I was thinking of taking a coffee break soon anyway,” you lied, his handsomeness making you eager to please. “Well this won’t take long. D’you want to come through to my office?” “Sure.” You followed him past the clutter into a much neater, though quite small, office. He closed the door behind you, waved you into the seat opposite his desk and sat, pulling something up on his screen. “So what do you need to know?” “He thought for a moment, looking at his screen, “So you’re working on a novel, huh?” Your heart stopped and you felt heat rise in your cheeks, too surprised to pretend you were confused, “How do you know about that?” “Oh please, I can see what everyone in this building does any time I want. Head of marketing up on twelve has been on ebay all morning bidding on a novelty clock. And theres a guy on Six who is,” he paused to check the screen, “currently looking at engagement rings. Sweet.” “You spy on us?” “No. But I could if I wanted to. And sometimes I get notifications about people spending too long on things other than work. Like you and your erotic novel.” You felt embarrassed again but couldn’t deny it so stayed silent. “Bit dangerous, writing that in public. Lucky only I saw and not anyone more important. You probably weren’t aware but sometimes the bosses request info on who’s been getting most distracted.” “You won’t tell anyone will you? It’s just a stupid side gig, I don’t want to get in trouble over it.” “Oh gosh Y/N, of course not.” You breathed a sigh of relief.

“I just thought you should know the work computers aren’t as private as you might have thought.” He paused and then, almost as an afterthought added, “And that, y’know, I thought what you were writing was quite good. Arousing. Although maybe it would be better if she were bent over a desk instead.” You didn’t catch the hungry way Gwil looked at you, too taken aback by his critique of your work, “What?” “Just a bit easier.” “Well, no, the copy machine is symbolic. It serves a purpose. It makes sense if you’ve read the whole thing. Plus, I prefer for my characters to see each other the first time they’re together. They’re meant to be falling in love with each other after all.” “Okay, I see your point. But I’d still argue a desk would make more sense than a copier. She doesn’t have to be bent over, she could be sitting or laying on it.” His palm brushed over the top of his own desk. You couldn’t believe the arrogance of his suggestion but the shock at least kept you from being too aggressive in your disagreement, “Thanks for the advice but I think I prefer my way.” “Well I think you should reconsider. Maybe you haven’t had the personal experience, but I have. And I can tell you the desk works better. Copy machines like the one you describe are fine but they make getting the right angle, well, tricky.” His knowing smirk should have infuriated you but you found yourself swiftly crossing from indignant to turned on. You chalked it up to the sex scene you’d been writing, and that you’d long had a crush on Gwil, so the combination of him talking to you about sex was almost too much. He stood, and you became very aware of how tall he was and how handsome, as he moved around to your side of the desk, leaning against the edge casually, one eyebrow raised as he said, “I could give you a demonstration if you want.” Your breathe caught. You’d missed the signs that that was what he wanted so for a moment all you could do was stare at him. “I hope that’s not too forward of me. But I really liked your writing.” It was like you’d stepped into the pages of your novel somehow, and you knew exactly how your heroine should react, “Well I never say no to research.”

Gwilym looked altogether too pleased with himself as he drew your to your feet, his hands falling to your hips and then sliding down to squeeze your arse as he kissed you hard. It was a strange moment, living out the reality of something you’d imagined over and over, something you’d written into your book, but more than welcome. He was as talented as you’d hoped, as talented as you’d written him, his hands firmly directing you towards the desk and then, when you were in front of it, working to push your pencil skirt up to your waist. He only stopped kissing you to guide you up to sit on the edge of his desk, picking up where he left off almost as soon as you were situated. You let your knees fall open, partly directed by him but gently enough that it felt entirely your decision, and he stepped between them letting you feel for the first time just how affected by your writing he was. Your eyes widened at just how big he felt pressed between you and his tight work trousers. Gwil must have noticed your expression because he chuckled and, leaning in closer to your ear, whispered “I’m glad you were writing your porn at work. Because now I know the sort of filth you can come up. Make me wonder what other dirty ideas you have in that pretty head.” His breath was hot against your ear, making you shiver and breathe heavier, but it was nothing to the sensation of his teeth tugging at your earlobe that followed. You whimpered at the feeling and how unfairly sexy he sounded talking about filthy ideas, a thousand more of them springing to your mind. He seemed amused by your reaction. Not that you could see him but you swore you could feel him smirking again as he nipped at your neck, not quite distracting you from how his fingers were slipping into your knickers.

It took almost no time at all for him to have your underwear off and his cock out, pressing against your entrance. Your brain was hardly working, overwhelmed by your dreams coming true so unexpectedly. But Gwilym seemed to like you that way, barely able to do more than whine. Whenever you’d tried to speak he’d shift his fingers or trail his tongue over your neck or toy with your nipple, effectively diverting you attention and causing another small moan as he drew you towards the edge. Nothing like the banter in the scene you’d written, though Gwil offered a few comments here and there, teasing you for being so wet and reminding you to keep quiet since you were at work. But now, close to release and so close to finally having him fill you he stopped and asked the worst question imaginable. “Have you written anything else about me?” The answer was no, or not entirely, but the small part of your brain still ticking thought his ego might like a yes more. Thankfully he didn’t seem to need a real answer, happy with how fucked out you’d already gotten. “Bet you have. Bet you’ve written about me in all sorts of positions.” The very tip of his cock dipped into your hole, teasing you just a little more. “I want to read them all. And then show you how the real thing feels.” Finally he pressed himself into you, making you gasp.

Gwil groaned as you unconsciously clenched around him and paused for a moment before beginning to slowly pull back and sink into you. He was big and all you could do was moan at the way he stroked inside you, though as he worked into a faster pace you grabbed onto the edge of the desk, needing to hold onto something. He just grabbed at you, fingers wet from your cunt digging into your thigh before slipping down to your clit as he leaned forward, using his arm to brace himself on the desk. The slight shift, the way he seemed to surround you as he leaned forward, the constant pressure from his fingers on your clit, not to mention the quick snap of his hips into yours and the sheer delicious fullness of him filling you, quickly became almost overwhelming. He had taken over all over your senses as he grunted in your ear, his taste still on your tongue. Whining into his neck you begged him not to stop until there was no choice but to cum for him, because of him.

He didn’t take long to reach his climax after that, his breath getting heavier and his thrusts less smooth. “Wh-where?” was all he could get out before another moan, “Where should I?” Your orgasm had brought a sliver of clarity back to you, enough to know that you couldn’t risk anything that might leave a visible mark. But more importantly, enough to know you didn’t want him to move from between your thighs. “Don’t care. Inside.” Gwil groaned again, hips stuttering with how hot he found your answer. He kept fucking you as consistently as he could manage, his fingers no longer on your clit but back on your thigh as if to make sure your legs stayed spread. You heard him curse in a strangled voice before his hips jolted and then stopped pressed hard into you as he came with a moan and a grunt. Everything was quiet and still for a few moments, aside from both of you breathing heavily as the reality of what had just happened caught up with you. Gwil leaned back a bit, slipping out of you a little, “Fuck.” was all he managed to get out. You gave an embarrassed sort of laugh, “Yeah.” He was still absurdly close, still half inside you when he said, “So? Do I live up to your imagination?” You laughed again, “Oh exceeded it. Think you gave me an idea for the sequel though.”

#my writing #my blurbs #blurb advent 2023 #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee smut #gwilym lee imagine

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bettsfic · 2 years

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craft essay a day #3

well now i'm angry.

"Don't Write What You Know" by Bret Anthony Johnston, The Writer’s Notebook II: Craft Essays from Tin House

beginner | intermediate | advanced | masterclass | don't bother with this one lads

filed under: process, how did this get published wtf

summary

Johnston introduces this essay by subtly but smugly noting that he teaches at Harvard. not a great start, bud. he says on day 1, he gives his students a list of things not to do in fiction.

"Don't start a story with an alarm clock going off. Don't end a story with the whole shebang having been a suicide note. Don't use flashy dialogue tags like intoned or queried or, God forbid, ejaculated. Twelve unbearably gifted students are sitting around the table, and they appreciate having such parameters established."

DO THEY?? ARE YOU SURE??

anyway. he goes on to say his last rule is "don't write what you know." (why not "write what you don't know" which is, you know, encouraging?) his very long-winded yet simple point is that you shouldn't write fiction that is an exact replica of your own life. the result of doing this is creating a work that is self-referential and thus meaningless (which he later contradicts by saying intending meaning in fiction is Bad).

"For me, it's the difference between fiction that matters only to those who know the author and fiction that, well, matters."

i have never wanted so badly to punch a craft essay.

he then undoes his entire argument by saying 1) he has in fact written autofiction and 2) writers should use their experiences as inspiration for fiction, but not let those experiences become the fiction itself. which could make sense, but not the way he pitches it.

"Instead of thinking of my experiences as structures I wanted to erect in fiction, I started conceiving of them as the scaffolding that would be torn down once the work was complete."

my dude. if you wanted to write an essay about scaffolding, write an essay about scaffolding. don't couch it in meaningless prescriptive rhetoric.

he cites many authors who have written works inspired by their lives but not about their lives, like Tim O'Brien. Johnston makes a good point here (except it's actually just O'Brien's point): in changing real events into fiction, whatever is fictionalized then invokes meaning. his example is that O'Brien wrote both a fictionalized and autobiographical version of his experiences in Vietnam, and they are decidedly different.

here, we have the potential to get interesting, to actually say something important about craft and life and identity and fiction, but instead he moves on to say that the cardinal sin of fiction writing is intending meaning, rather than allowing the creative process to create meaning, and allowing the reader to interpret meaning.

"Another deeper, more essential part of me dies when a workshop student says, 'What I wanted to do was ________.' The idea of a writer 'wanting' to do something in a story unhinges me. At best, such desire smacks of nostalgia; at worst, it betrays agenda."

and then he goes into a very boring white guy rant about how everybody should be able to write about the experiences of everyone else regardless of race, orientation, ability, etc., with all the nuance of a slab of concrete. personally, i'm not firmly on either side of this debate, but i do feel strongly that it should be discussed with sensitivity and the acknowledgement of the greater historical context of the part american literature and the publishing thereof has played in systemic oppression. but that's just me.

lastly he declares something i really do agree with:

"I say fiction is an act of courage and humility, a protest against our morality, and we, the authors, don't matter. What matters are our characters, those constructions of imagination that can transcend our biases and agendas, our egos and entitlements and flesh. Trust your powers of empathy and invention, I say."

in short, you're better off reading the Zadie Smith essay, "Fascinated to Presume: In Defense of Fiction" which i'll probably review tomorrow, out of spite.

my thoughts

oh boy, here we go.

first, i don't claim to know everything about writing. i don't even claim to know a little about writing. at best, i have considerations. possibilities. observations, maybe. i don't present things in shoulds and should nots. but what i do know is teaching writing. i know the shoulds and should nots of pedagogy. and this guy is not doing it right. every word of this essay is condescension. it feels like a grotesque power play. he came up with his clickbaity title and then said something ultimately pointless.

his entire argument is a polemic of a false premise. is there really anyone out there writing their exact experiences as fiction? and if there are, how is it anyone's business? instead of entering this topic with curiosity and consideration, he just paints these broad, bland strokes. if i were to write this, my question would be, who are the writers who write their experiences as fiction, and why? how do they do it? what can be gained or lost? to what degree could you or should you fictionalize the events of your life? i have a friend from Gaza who came to the US to write about her experiences there. important experiences that she can't write as nonfiction and which have enormous consequences for herself and her family. why shouldn't she write about that? in what way is telling someone like her "don't write what you know" going to help her? it's not. it's going to silence her more than she's already been silenced.

one point of this essay is that you shouldn't write with intention of meaning. this is a widely held belief in many MFAs, and one i rallied against for a long time. i have since come to see it the way i see all writing advice: there are consequences and considerations to going one way or another. and you don't know them until you write the thing. and to write the thing, you can't have someone shouting down at you that you shouldn't.

the truth is, every word of fiction ever written has been framed by the experiences of the writer. that cannot be denied. we are beings made of memory, and those memories create our lens through which we see the world. it doesn't matter how fantastical or imaginative your work is. it's still from you. it still has pieces of you in it. when approaching fiction, all your work is going to be on a spectrum of closeness to your lived experiences. and even if you attempt to convey them as true as they happened, they're still distorted through memory. our memories themselves are fictionalized. the depiction of real and not real, fiction and creative nonfiction, is a false dichotomy: everything is unreal, because it is merely being rendered. and ultimately, as a teacher, as a reader, my job isn't to declare a piece of work too real to an experience and therefore too self-referential; my job is to interpret it, firstly, as myself. it is simply not my business as a reader to know what happened in reality and what didn't.

i'll never understand creative writing professors who don't know the very basic tenet of creative writing pedagogy: help writers write. encourage them to write. say what they need to hear to get words on the page and be excited about them. be proud of them. as a teacher i don't give a fuck about helping writers become better. what i want is to help writers become more true to themselves, get closer to the work that's most meaningful to them. to say i know how to help writers become good at writing would be so egotistical. it presumes i know what good writing is. it presumes i believe that there's good writing and bad writing, and not just myriad lenses of personal taste. who cares what's good? all i care about is helping a writer move a little farther along on their journey. clearing a path for them. but it's never my intention to pave that path myself, to say here's your destination. how fucking hard is it to accept that creativity is the pursuit of the unknown? and that we need to have a fundamental respect for that pursuit in any shape it takes? and without that respect, we as teachers aren't helping writers at all, we're only carving them into our own likenesses?

okay, i'm going to stop here for now because i'm getting upset. but i'm not done with this topic. i have several essays in me that present some of the premises here in ways that aren't destructively prescriptive and condescending, and hopefully i'll find the time to get them down.

craft essay a day tag | writing advice tag | ask me something

#cead #process

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avatarrecom · 10 months

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Yes. Honestly, I also quietly noticed that for unknown reasons you get very little response from others. Although I think that in general this fandom has recently become extremely inactive, and modern AUs are even more underrated. In this case, I think it may be because it's a rather unusual (or I haven't come across such) idea - by that I mean the number of love interests (who are Recoms, which also does not suit everyone "morally") + you introduce OCs, which are also often not well received.

For example, let's take the case of Left For Death (I don't remember the author sorry) (it's not, God forbid, hate on the author or something like that) when she focused on the Quaritch-Spider relationship, it seems to me that she received much more active support than when this was left in the background and she focused more on other members of Deja Blue (also bringing in her original character).

Personally, I really like your fic, so it's sad for me too when I see people doing absolutely nothing about it. I think that if you had published it when there was more hype for Avatar, it would have been very more warmly received, but unfortunately nowadays very few people write anything at all, and those who do get attention started doing it much earlier. I really like how you are doing extra content <3. I think that if you wrote a simple "boring" (by boring I mean quite common in modern AU Avatar , I love them myself) story about the kidnapped Spider himself and his (non-romantic) relationships with the team and Quaritch, maybe there would be more activity. Again, you should know that you have at least one person who is reading this, hyper fixated on it and is simply delighted <3 I also really appreciate that you haven't given up yet. Thank you so much for keeping this fandom alive ♥️

Thank you! 💙

I'm hoping that the fandom gets a bit more active once the extended version of ATWOW gets released on December 19!

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with KWaH, not in the sense of 'will I finish it or not' but more how many chapters the story is gonna have.

#kidnapped without a home

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alexanderwillauer · 8 months

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An American Revolutionary Loyalist's perspective of Luke 3:14

The American Revolutionary War is a conflict in which the combatants on both sides were predominantly Christian. Even Patriot Founding Fathers such as Thomas Jefferson, who identified as a Deist, largely read and interacted with the Christian Bible. Another aspect of the war is members of the clergy using passages from the Bible to uphold their own political ideals and denounce those of their rivals. A famous example of this is Romans 13:1-2 (KJV) “1. Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established, the authorities that exist have been established by God. 2. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do will bring judgment on themselves.”

For those who wished to remain loyal to the King, this passage was explicit and literal. Disobedience against authority is disobedience to God. Theologians with Patriot political leanings interpreted this passage differently, instead they chose to oppose such a literal interpretation and weighed this passage against Colossians 3:20 (KJV) “20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” Patriots argued that it was commonly accepted across all Christian denominations that this command to obey no longer applies when the parent has gone mad or has commanded the child to knowingly commit acts of evil. In the end, they argue, everyone is accountable for their own soul. Patriots argued that the same exception should be applied to the Romans 13:1-2 verses. The more open interpretation of the verse has some historical precedence. St. Thomas Aquinas, in his 1273 book Summa Theologica, argues “Tyrannical government is not just, because it is directed, not for the common good, but to the private good of the ruler. Consequently, there is no sedition in disturbing a government of this kind.”

Another good example of this theological debate between Loyalists and Patriots can be found in the main subject of this blog, The Christian Soldier’s Duty, by Rev. Charles Inglis. Inglis was the rector of Trinity Church in New York City during the American Revolution and is remembered for his opposition to the writings of Thomas Paine. This published work is a sermon he delivered in 1777. In it he examines Luke 3:14 (KJV) “And the soldiers likewise demanded of him – An what shall we do? And he said to them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely, but be content with your wages.” The context of this passage is John the Baptist preaching the coming of Christ. The people gathered around him in different groups asking what they must do to prepare for the coming of the messiah.

Inglis tells his audience that John wished that “hostilities… would cease among Christian men, but alas! this is a blessing not to be looked for in the present times.” He writes that “evil will ever produce violence… and [makes] self-defense indispensably necessary.” Further he constructs a syllogism to justify his point, saying “The Creator wills the happiness of his creations… their happiness cannot be attained without society… [which] cannot be preserved without self-defense.” He ends his logic statement with the following conclusion, “I may affirm self-defense is agreeable to the will of the Deity.”

The rest of his sermon, after making the case that Luke 3:14 does not forbid soldiers from killing, he asks what then is the duty of a Christian soldier? Inglis argues that the main duty if a Soldier is to follow the commandments and obey authority, writing, “When a man becomes a soldier, he ceases not to be a Christian.” Therefore, “the duties and the principals of the Christian… he should keep in view.” He makes the argument that military discipline will aid in the swift conclusion of the conflict and so, “submission to… superiors… is an indispensable duty of the Christian Soldier.” Before finishing the sermon with the closing prayer he states, “[Honor] your king, as God hath commanded."

I do not believe that the Patriot theologians would have found much to disagree with about the first half of Rev Inglis’ sermon. Indeed, they too would have argued that, despite the wording, Luke 3:14 does not actually forbid a Soldier from killing, yet his conclusion that the Christian Soldier must obey the authority of the king I believe they would have major issues. What is striking to me is the logical inconsistency of the Loyalist theologians. They had adopted a more open interpretation of this passage when they condemned the Patriots for doing the same thing with Romans 13:1-2. I must conclude that no matter how deeply felt some people held their religious convictions, some were still willing to use them in a way that inappropriately substantiated their own worldly concerns.

Bibliography: Aquinas, St. Thomas. Summa Theologica. 1273. Translated by Fathers of the English Dominican Province. Great Britian.: 1920. Edited by Thomas Gilby. OP. 60 vols, Cambridge.: Blackfriars. 1960/

Inglis, Charles. The Christian soldier's duty briefly delineated: in a sermon preached at King's-Bridge, September 7, 1777, before the American corps newly raised for His Majesty's service. New-York: Printed by H. Gaine, [1777]. Sabin Americana: History of the Americas, 1500-1926 (accessed February 3, 2024). https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/CY0105505895/SABN?u=vic_liberty&sid=bookmark-SABN&xid=983d88d7&pg=1.

Mayhew, Jonathan. A Discourse Concerning Unlimited Submission and Non-Resistance to the Higher Powers. Boston.: D. Fowle in Queen Street; and D. Gookin the South- Meetinghouse. 1750.

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lilyharvord · 2 years

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Update

Looking at the final copy of my book at 2 am today August 3, 2022, literally just looking at it and seeing seven years of work, three unfinished trashed drafts, one finished draft that was trashed, a second draft that I picked to pieces, and a third and final one that I shared with very close friends to help me edit. And now this final copy.

It feels unreal. I’m not going to lie, I am crying over her. For the longest time I never thought I would finish this daunting task. Aria’s story always seemed so impossible to tell, but here it is, in my hands. Her story has begun, and the first part of it is closed and ready. It is literally surreal. My query letter is all typed up, and ready to be emailed/mailed out with the final draft. My pitch is ready, and I have begun drawing maps. God, I have chills, I never thought, I really never thought I would see this day. There is still so far to go, but this morning, I get to stand on top of the first mountain and see the sunrise and it has never looked fucking brighter :)))))))))

#(*ask lily*)#(*shut up lily*)#holy shit it's happening #god forbid I become a published author #what the hell will happen to me then?#XD #my writing #I figured I would share with y'all since you have been with me since the beginning #I am actually crying silently and it's low key embarrassing but also so wonderful #to someday seeing my book on the shelves #and to you all maybe picking it up and journeying with my main character #*smashes a whole bottle of wine

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myhockeyworld87 · 3 years

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Let’s Play Pretend - Matthew Tkachuk - Part 1

Word Count: 4,814

Warnings: Language, talk of sex (nothing specific this chapter)

Notes: So here’s part one of a new series. This has every trope in it, best friends to lovers, only one bed, fake relationship...you name it...haha! Hope you guys enjoy it. I know it’s been a while since I posted anything. Happy Reading! As always feedback is greatly appreciated.

Matthew Tkachuk was a pest, at least when he was on the ice. Off, however, was a different story. He was the boy next door, well literally in your case he was the boy that grew up in the house beside you. Seeing as you were smack dab in the middle between him and Brady in age, it was only natural that the three of you became friends, even though you and Matthew were in the same grade. Car rides to school were shared, as well as being in the same middle school play, though you'd all made a pact that it would never be brought up around anyone outside of the family. Pinkie promises were taken seriously amongst you. God forbid you broke one, for if you did, you were sure to be on the receiving end of a nuclear wedgie or some other horrendous torture treatment.

When Matt went off to play for the London Knights, you had a hard time finding yourself. It was as if you were lost without your best friend. Even though Brady was still there, there was always a strong bond between you and Matt. Your siblings chalked it up to an enormous crush you had on him since the moment you turned fifteen, but you knew that nothing would ever become of it. Matt didn't look at you that way, and so you shoved every feeling you had for him, way in the back, locking it up nice and tight so that no one, including Matt, would ever see it.

With Matt off being the new star of the OHL, you retreated out of all the things you the two or three of you usually did. Let's face it, it wasn't too hard, as Brady was trying to imitate Matt and constantly working on his on and off-ice skills. It wasn't until your mother, stuck a notebook and pen in your hand and told you to write down your feelings, that you found your passion. What started out as a diary of sorts, though you'd go to your grave saying it was a journal, turned into writing story after story. Oh, the first ones were truly horrendous; you knew that. Though you found as time went on you really enjoyed immersing yourself into this world that could be whatever you wanted.

It seemed like a no-brainer when you went to college that you were going to be an English major. What was shocking was the number of novels you ended up writing in your spare time. Now, let's set the record straight, you were by no means a hermit. You did your fair share of partying and dating, but when you got a couple hours here or a few minutes there; you could be found in front of your laptop. Thus one book turned into another and another. You had no idea what you would do with them. That was until your professor, and mentor approached you, asking to read them. You gladly offered them up, needing someone to critique you. To your greatest surprise, she thought they were good and turned them over to a friend in publishing. It took a full year, but by the end of your senior year; you were a published author. You now knew what it was like for Matt and Brady to score a goal in the NHL, for surely it had to be the same way you were feeling.

Of course, Matt and Brady both asked for autographed copies, just like you'd asked for pucks and jerseys when they finally made it to the NHL. Honestly, you never expected them to read it, or maybe you hoped they would never read it as some of it was quite steamy. You never asked them about it and they never gave you any feedback. The three of you were just always there to support one another, and when your second and third novels were published there were Matt and Brady, first in line to buy them. You weren't really surprised, as you were at both of their first NHL games, as well as all the other important times in their lives.

So, it was no real shock when Matt called you to help him pick out a home. He'd inked a big three-year contract and was tired of living in the downtown apartment complex he'd called home for the last few years. After the craziness of the last couple of seasons, he wanted a place to call his own. "You know you only want a house after sharing this one for the last umpteen months, with your entire family," you teased once you were at the Tkachuk house sitting in the office looking at pieces of real estate.

Matt dropped his voice down to a conspiratorial whisper. "You're not completely wrong. It made me realize how much I enjoy my own space." He clicked on another home, with a price tag that floored you. "What about you? I thought you were looking for something as well?"

"I am. Just trying to figure out if I'm staying here or New York or I don't know; anywhere really."

"Wait, you're moving? Like away from St. Louis?"

You shrugged, still unsure of what you wanted to do. "Maybe. I haven't really decided. Just keeping all my options open."

"I can't imagine you not being here when I come home." He seemed stunned, probably more because he was only hearing about this now. "Who am I going to hang out with, in the summer?"

"More like who are you going to pester." He smiled knowing that you were wrong. "I'm sure Brady and Taryn will keep you entertained."

He elbowed you before saying, "It's not the same and you know it." You did know what he meant. It was something you'd thought long and hard about. He and Brady had both moved on with their lives, at least during the season and it was time that you did the same. Matthew would never see you as anything more than your best friend; you knew that, and maybe moving somewhere new would give you that push you needed to find Mr. Right instead of the Mr. Right Nows that you had been dating.

"I'm sure I'll still come home for a few weeks in the summer." Playing off the heaviness of the moment. "As you've told me numerous times, I can write anywhere."

"That's true. As long as you don't try to cross any oceans and move your ass to Paris or something." Your eyes lit up at the mention of the city you'd longed to visit. "Oh, no you don't! That was not an idea I wanted to plant in your head."

"Don't worry, Matty," you joked, using the pet name he hated. "I'm not leaving the country. Now, back to finding you the perfect home." Scrolling through about three different websites you narrowed it down to a few that he wanted to see. Now, that things were back to normal he'd asked you to go up to Calgary with him for a couple days. It was midway through summer and you could use a break, so you agreed. Besides, you knew his tastes better than he did. There were a total of four houses that you narrowed it down to, for the realtor to show you, and you were excited to get on a plane so you could see them in person.

Two days later, you were doing just that. House number one was a definite possibility. It had three bedrooms, perfect for when his family came to visit, and wasn't far from the arena. When you saw house two, you walked in and immediately declared it wasn't for him. Matt agreed though the realtor insisted on showing you the entire house. You couldn't put your finger on it exactly but the vibe of the place was just off. Number three was nice. The five-bedroom home was the largest one that you guys would be looking at, but it was just too big. It was a ton of house to take care of and it really had no yard.

Matt seemed a bit discouraged as you drove to the last place. "I don't know maybe we should've picked a couple more to look at."

"I thought you liked the first house?" you asked as he turned down another street.

"It was ok."

"Well, that won't do. You need to love it." He nodded his agreement but remained silent. "I hope you realize you'll be traveling to wherever I decide to move, to help me."

"Gladly, though I hope you decided against New York."

"Why? I kind of think it's perfect. I love the hustle and bustle of the city. Plus I'll get to see you and Brady three times a year when you play there."

He seemed to mull that thought over. "Ok, well I like that part, but New York is just��too dangerous."

You rolled your eyes. He sounded like your family. "So is every other city. Which is why you'll be with me to find a nice safe neighborhood to live in." Matt seemed agitated but didn't say anything more as he made the final turn. A gasp left your lips when you first saw the house. "I hope it's as nice on the inside." The two-story home stood at the end of a cul-de-sac. Beautiful trees outlining the landscape of the brown brick.

"Me too," Matt breathed out before shifting the car in park beside the three-stall garage. The double doors that lead into the foyer were massive and done in dark hardwood, and lead you into an entryway with vaulted ceilings. The moment you stepped inside you knew this was the home for Matt, and from the look on his face, he thought so as well. The realtor took you through the open concept kitchen and living room, which had a beautiful brick fireplace, perfect for those bitter cold Calgary nights. A gorgeous spiral staircase took you upstairs which held all four bedrooms. It was the master suite that had both you and Matt drooling. The room was massive, with beautiful double doors leading into it. The ensuite was something you could only dream about. It boasted a large oversized jetted tub in the middle, with a gigantic walk-in shower. It looked like something out of a magazine. One look at Matt and you knew he was in love with the place just as much as you were.

The realtor showed you the basement. Complete with a bar, theater room, and gym, the house was everything anyone could ever want. You were standing out on the balcony when the realtor finally left you alone with Matt to discuss things. You turned to him and at the same time you both said, "It's perfect!" Laughing you added, "I can just see the team barbeques out here in the backyard."

"That's more of the captain's job."

"I know," you said grabbing onto the deck rail and looking out. "We both know it's going to be you." Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him shrug. "You deserve it, Matt. You've been working your whole life for this." He had and you were so proud of him.

His hands gripped the rail beside yours. "It is perfect for team gatherings."

"It is."

"I'm gonna make an offer."

"Good, because I am so taking a bath in that tub." Matt laughed, a full-on one from deep within him.

"Who am I to deny, the princess." He said using the term he had given you years ago.

It took another hour for Matt to sign the papers and make a formal offer on the place. What surprised you was that it only took thirty minutes for the current owners to accept. From there it was another two hours finalizing everything. Of course, it wasn't like he was the owner right then and there, it would be another couple of weeks for that, but for all intents and purposes; it was Matthew's.

The two of you were headed out to the car, heading to Matt's favorite restaurant to celebrate when he finally checked his phone. He'd had it on silent the entire time and didn't realize that he'd missed several phone calls. The first person he called back was Keith. The phone going through the speaker, as Matt started the car. "Matthew," Keith said in that voice he'd used thousands of times when Matt was in trouble. "Where have you been?"

From the time Matt was young and knew he wanted to go to the NHL, he knew that not only was he going to have to work hard and practice even harder. He knew that his life would be picked apart in the media. His dad had taught both him and Brady how to answer all the questions that the media threw at them, to always say the right thing, and never lose your temper off the ice when he was in front of the camera. There were other things as well. Always be nice to fans, for there will come a day when there won't be any. Be careful what you like and post on social media, because it's out there for the world to see. There were so many rules and Matt followed them all. He never made a misstep, that was until now. "I was buying a house dad, remember."

"Don't get smart with me. That's not what I was talking about and you know it."

Matt exchanged a glance with you, both of you not having any clue what Keith was talking about it. "Dad, I've had my phone off. I have no idea what you mean." It was then that you decided to open up your phone, seeing the missed calls and text messages from both your family and friends. The one that stuck out was from your friend, Hannah, she'd sent you a link to a Twitter message and you clicked on it. You were not prepared for what you saw when it popped up. There right in front of your face was Matt and some random girl having sex. You wanted to vomit. It wasn't like you didn't know that Matt had sex. One look at him and you knew that women threw themselves at him, even if he wasn't in the NHL. You quickly turned the phone for Matt to see, and so you wouldn't have to look at it anymore.

"FUCK!" Matt screamed, the solitary word echoing in the vehicle. He then hit the steering wheel several times in frustration. Your only option was to turn the video off. "Jesus Christ."

"It's a little late to be asking the lord's for help, Matthew." Keith chimed in over the speakerphone, reminding you both that he was still on the line.

"Dad, I swear…it's old…I was stupid…and young." Matt tried to stutter through an excuse.

"Save it, Matthew. I thought I taught you better." Silence hung in the air. Neither father nor son knew what to say. It was Keith who spoke first. "Your mother and I are getting on a plane right now. We'll be there in a few hours and see how the hell we can get out of this mess, you've put everyone in." From the tone in Keith's voice, you could tell there would be no dissuading them from coming. "I'd advise you to lay low until we can figure out what to do next."

Matt blew out a breath; his shoulders sagging in defeat. "Ok."

"We'll see you shortly." You expected Keith to just hang up then, but he didn't. "We love you, Matthew."

"I love you both too, Dad, and I'm so sorry."

"We know you are." With that, the line went dead.

Matt let out a loud growl of frustration. While you, well, you didn't know what to say exactly. So, you waited, just sitting there patiently, giving Matt the time, he needed. Once he finally composed himself, he turned and looked over at you. "It happened…hell, I don't know…two maybe three years ago. I didn't know she did it at first, but then I saw it...She swore she deleted it. I watched her do it." He shook his head. "I don't know how this happened." Matt's head dropped down to the steering wheel in defeat. "I'm a fucking failure, (Y/N). I'm done. Ruined."

"You're not done, Matty. You made a mistake. You're not the first person in the world to make a sex tape."

He picked his head up. "No, but I'm definitely not making captain now. Hell, I won't even be wearing the A this season. I got this house for nothing."

Placing your hand on his cheek, you guided his face so that he was looking you directly in the eye. "You didn't get this house for nothing. We'll figure this out, Matt. It's like you said, you were young. I'm sure the organization will understand, once we explain everything, though the first thing we need to do is get back to the apartment and get that taken off of social media." He nodded, hitting the start button on the car. "It's gonna be ok." You reassured him one last time before releasing him so that he could drive.

When you pulled out of the street, you saw Matt look in the review mirror, his gaze landing on the home he just bought as a foreboding look crossed his face. You took his hand in yours and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We'll fix this, together." He nodded his head then focused on the road ahead, but as you went to pull your hand back, he entwined his fingers with yours, not wanting to let go.

It was something so simple. Holding hands. Yet it was something that the two of you had never done. Sure, you'd hugged him thousands of times, but never this. It felt intimate and it made your heart skip a beat, even though now was not the time to be thinking about things like this. Shifting your thoughts back to the problem at hand, you tried to come up with a way to get Matt out of the predicament that he was in, yet found no way out.

Matt called his agent once you were both ensconced in the apartment. The celebratory dinner was long forgotten; you ordered you both a pizza as you hadn't eaten since breakfast. Even though you knew that Matt probably wouldn't eat. When Matt finally got done with the conversation, he informed you that his agent had already gotten the video taken down, which at least was a step in the right direction. Matt's agent also wanted the name of the girl so that he could have his legal team get to work as to how the video got out. The biggest blow in the conversation was that different sponsorships were threatening to pull their contracts.

You tried everything you could think of to get his mind off of things, while you waited for his parents to fly in. He'd pace for a while, walking the halls and rooms of the apartment, which suddenly seemed smaller than it actually was. When that didn't help, he'd fling himself down on the couch, let out a long huff and get back up, only to repeat his pacing once again. It was that way for an hour until the pizza arrived. You got him to eat a couple slices, but it didn't help much.

Time ticked slowly by until Keith and Chantal arrived. "Oh, Matthew," Chantal exclaimed, as she enveloped her son in a bear hug.

"I'm so sorry, mom." Matthew cried in his mother's arms. Your heart broke for him, for you knew the last thing he ever wanted was to disappoint his family. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," Chantal hummed soothingly as she rubbed soft circles on his back. "We'll get through this."

Matt sniffed, wiping away any tears that he shed before he released his mom and went to hug his dad, who echoed the sentiments of his mother. You sat there taking the scene between parents and son, and while you'd always felt like part of the family before; you now felt like an outsider intruding on their moment. Carefully, you got up hoping to go back to the spare bedroom, but Chantal caught you out of the corner of her eye. Her keen motherly instincts kicking in. "(Y/N), how are you, sweetie?" She came over and wrapped you in her warm embrace. "I'm sorry you're having to deal with this as well." She whispered so only you would hear.

Turns out she wouldn't have had to, as father and son were in deep conversation. "You know I'd do anything I could to help, Matt."

"I do." She released you then took a seat at the table where you'd been writing, trying to pass the time. "Working on a new book?"

"Yes, though I'm afraid I'm not having much luck."

"I have no idea why," she said with a sarcastic laugh. "I'm sure once we get things settled, you'll be back to typing pages upon pages of stuff. Speaking of which, your mom sent me a couple chapters from the new one you've been working on. It's so good. I can't wait to read it all."

"Thank you, Chantal. I've got to head to New York in a couple weeks to meet with my publisher on it. I'll be sure you get one of the first copies if they decide they like it and I finish it."

"Don't tell Matt that. He swears he gets the first one off the presses."

You smiled. While you always made sure that Matthew and Brady got a copy, you'd kept that first copy for yourself. Though you had given him the second copy of your first book. If anyone asked, you'd deny it and say that it went to your parents, but you had just wanted Matt to have it. You always pushed the reasoning behind it away, and now was no different. "It'll be our secret."

Matt and Keith came over then. Keith greeting you quickly before saying, "We know that Matthew needs to address this with this organization. (Y/N), we were hoping that maybe you could draft something up for him to say publicly as well; when the time comes."

"Of course, just tell me what you want to say."

"Thank you," Matthew said grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. The phone rang then, interrupting any further conversations that would take place. Matt's agent was on the line and you could tell by the look on his face that it was not good news. "Fuck," he muttered, which caused Chantal to give him a stern look. Several minutes passed before he hung up. "Nerf wants out of the contract, both with me and Brady. It's not right. Brady didn't do a fucking thing." This time Chantal let the word pass without saying or giving him a look.

"We need something more than a well-crafted statement. No offense (Y/N)."

"None taken," you told Keith for he was right, but what could help make Matthew look better in the public eye.

"You need to look like the role model captain the team needs and companies want," Keith added.

"I just bought a house. How much more responsible can I be." This from Matt, as he was starting to let his frustration show.

"Well, a wife and kids would help, but that can't happen over the next twenty-four hours."

"No, it can't," Chantal snipped back at her husband. "I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet. Though (Y/N)'s book gives me an idea."

"My book?" you questioned not exactly sure what she was talking about.

"Yeah, the one you're working on." You wracked your brain trying to get where she was going, while both Matthew and Keith turned their curious eyes to her. "The small part I read was basically how these two people had to fake their relationship. I'm not doing it justice I know, (Y/N), but you could do that, Matthew. I know you haven't dated anyone in a while but maybe there's someone you could ask."

Both Matt and Keith looked at each other. The two wearing identical expressions and they were ones that you didn't like. It was Matty who looked at you first. "There's only one person that I know who I could pull that off with."

"ME?" you asked taking a large gulp of air as you said the word and almost choking on it.

"You've said it before, (Y/N). You know me better than I know myself. Who better to pull this off with?"

"I don't know, Matty." You really didn't. He was your best friend and you really did want to help him out of this situation but trying to fool everyone into thinking that you two were a couple…well, that just seemed a bit of a stretch.

"You're the only person that I could pull this off with. Half the guys think I've had something going on with you anyhow."

"They have?" You weren't sure who said it first, you or Chantal.

Matthew simply shrugged. "Well, yeah. You've come with me to a couple charity events and stuff. I guess we just give off that vibe."

Lord knows you felt it. There had been so many times that you'd wanted to push the envelope and see if your friendship could be more, but then there was too much to lose if you were wrong. A few of your friends had asked if the two of you were a couple several times, but your answer was always the same. You were just friends. "Matt…" you started to say but were interrupted.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea for you and (Y/N) to do this Matthew." Chantal chimed in, a knowing look in her eye as if she knew your well-hidden feelings for Matt. How she could you weren't sure.

"Can I talk to (Y/N) alone for a minute?" Keith and Chantal nodded as you got up and followed Matt into his bedroom. It was the last place you wanted to have an intimate conversation with him. Once he closed the door, he grabbed both of your hands in his; a pleading look in his eyes as he started to speak. "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I had another option, (Y/N), or if it was only affecting me. But hell…I can't let my brother suffer because of something stupid I did." You understood where he was coming from. This whole incident was hard enough on him. That it was affecting Brady only made it a million times worse. "I know you're going to say that we don't even know if this will work. But I've got to give it a try. I'll do anything to fix this for him."

You would as well, both for him and Brady. You went to tell him as much but he continued. "I know I'm asking a lot, but you said you could write anywhere. Why not here? The house is big and I know you love it as much as I do. You can have any room in the house, even the master. Name anything, (Y/N) and if it's in my power; I'll give it to you." There were tears welling in his eyes; yours as well. You knew he wasn't doing this for himself at this point. It was all for his family. He would do anything for them, just as you would for yours. The kicker of it was Matty would always be your family, even though he may not know it.

"You don't have to give me anything Matt. I'll do it." You were in his arms before you could say another word. He was hugging you so tight, you almost couldn't breathe.

"Thank you, (Y/N). Thank you." He mumbled the words several times as you both clung to one another. "This is going to work, (Y/N). I just know it."

"It will," you whispered back, hoping to god that it would.

It was you who pulled back from the embrace first, but Matthew that spoke. "We should probably go tell my parents." Nodding, he grabbed your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours just as you'd done earlier today and would more than likely be doing a lot more of, in public at least. Once you were back in the kitchen, he stood there a moment, a small smile playing across his lips. "(Y/N) agreed." There was a look of relief from Keith, while Chantal's eyes searched your face making sure you were ok with this. None of you expected what Matt said next though. "So, now that we're engaged, what's our next move?"

"WHAT?"

#Let's play pretend series #matthew tkachuk #Matthew Tkachuk imagine #Matthew Tkachuk imagines #Matthew Tkachuk smut #Nhl smut #Nhl imagines #null imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #Nhl fanfic

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duckprintspress · 3 years

Text

Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

Have a question about writing? Drop us an ask!

Like what we do and want to support us? You can buy us a ko-fi - or get access to exclusive content by backing us on Patreon!

#duck prints press #original content #writing advice #sort of

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 4 years

Text

ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

!!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well.

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot.

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title.

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great.

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court.

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next.

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know.

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick.

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it. They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not.

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment.

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER?

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better. I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames #rhysand #feysand

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batmansymbol · 3 years

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hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

#reply #ya lit #personal #the discourse tm #essay

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symeona · 3 years

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Idk if this is something you're even interested in hearing about, but for the majority of my very american white bread life, I thought that all of the stories like PJO and LO were cool and fun ways to spread greek mythos, while not really knowing myself the inaccuracies and disrespect these series both carry, not only to the values they claim to espouse such as anti-racism, spreading mental health awareness, and feminism, but just how wrong they get the Greek side of things too. I just feel/see more and more how majorily Americans refuse to believe that taking Greek culture and misrepresenting it, bastardizing it, and hollywood-izing it is a bad thing, and how it deserves some respect for the ancient culture it is beyond "hardy har zeus scum cheater man" and "uwu rick/smythe are the final opinion on greek mythos". It's become such a mainstream thing here for people to use LO and PJO as literal scholarly interpretations of myths and the entire reason Greek mythology is as popular today while simultaneously ignoring the work Greeks have done to make their culture known, and I myself don't know the half of their efforts. The entitlement to tell someone, from my own personal experience, that they have the right to retell and change myths to their own will just because greek myths happened to be taught in their history class therefore making it fair game for Americans is just... how can so many people who claim to be on the left not realize their own imperialism right there? And then, god forbid you ask them about anything about greek history or culture that isn't Alexander the Great or the Illiad. They know nothing of Greece's roll in WW2, or what the Ottomons did to them, nothing at all.

Sorry for the rant, but I felt you would have an opinion I haven't heard on it before and I'm trying to see how different people view this issue.

Aaaa oof. Okay..

One issue with "Greek myths" is that the version most ppl know now, was published by archeologists who interpreted the stories through their own lenses almost 100 years ago. Zeus wasn't the 'King of gods', that's some christian bs right there. The largest Temple ever found is the one for Hera in Samos. But still, all gods were equal. And myths are so different from place to place that I don't think you'll ever find the "original" story.

And don't talk to me about the Great Alexander, that monster. How ppl have hero worship for that prick is beyond me. Ironically his horse was called Bullhead.

So, you mentioned the Ottoman occupation.

⚠️ I'll mention violence.

We called it 600 years of enslavement by the Empire. And it was. The scars from that time are still with us today. When I say 'entire islands and cities were burned to the ground' I mean it. This year marks 200 years of liberty which is cool, but yeah I can't tell you what a kid feels when they look at their history and all they find is bloodshed.

Victims from Smyrna are still alive today. And if you read what happened there please be warned.

So Greece went from 600 years of occupation and slavery, to the Balkan Wars, to ww1, to civil war, to ww2, to more civil war, to martial law/ dictatorship in the 1970s, and now .. well, let's say, we've had democracy for 50 years. My dad was a kid during the Polytechnic Uprising where tanks ran over children in front of their parents.

I hesitate to say Greece is part of Europe or 'the Western world'. Because during each one of these tragedies the Allies watched my people burn and die. Should they have the authority to claim our history as their own? I don't know.

Anyway, I hate to leave you on a sad note so I'll just add that, during the wars Greece let women fight, look for Bubulina and Manto Mavrogenous. Those two were high ranking officers.

And for a funny (kind of) anecdote: Greeks celebrate the 28th of October as "Ochi day". And the story is that during ww2 an Italian ambassador told our prime minister "hand Greece over to us and there won't be war". Our prime minister simply told him "Ochi" which means "No." Though actually, he said "Alors, c’est la guerre." (So, it's war.) And then people ran out in the streets chanting "Oxi" cause you know... Fuck Mussolini. We actually won the battle with the Italians so sksksksk

I love this story cause it's so.. Greek. We said "Nope." And then celebrate it every year by singing very offensive songs about goofy fascists. It's great. If anyone wants to write a story in modern Greece, please know that every kid knows this song by heart.

youtube

Here are the lyrics translated, though I realize it's hard to comprehend. We have too many creative words. Macarona literally means Macaroni-man for example.

#ask #long post #greek history #tw violence #as always feel free to google these if you have more questions

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mumblingsage · 3 years

Note

Seeing as you're talking about jobs rn, I've been wanting to ask you for advice getting started in freelancing. Everything I've come across has basically been to get thee to a glorified content mill :/

I'll be honest, a lot of advice I'm seeing in the "making a living as a writer" field has become "make thyself a glorified content mill" and I...don't like it. Not just because I personally cannot sustain that level of creative output, but I don't like copyediting glorified content mills (I've spent some time doing that) and I don't like buying & reading books by glorified content mills (to the point that I'll avoid checking out books from authors who seem too prolific, unless they're vouched for by a reviewer I trust).

Eventually Internet culture will accelerate so much it combusts, I guess.

In the meantime... I'm assuming you're looking into freelance writing, by the way? I'm also assuming you'll probably be doing nonfiction, as that's the only field where making a living freelance is viable. The secret here, I understand, is

a) learning how to pitch ideas, pitching a lot, then getting accepted and writing well. Writer's Digest magazine has, in my experience, some good articles on this; you can borrow copies for free from most libraries.

I don't know if the Submissions Grinder has a robust nonfiction search function, but Duotrope does, and it can be worth the $5/month or $50/year subscription to get started with (you can deduct the expense on your taxes).

a and a half) Learn to write for niche audiences--many have magazines that need content and pay competitively for it. I wrote an article on robotics for an aerospace magazine once and earned $500 for about 1,000 words. You don't get that rate in fiction as a newbie. You don't even get that rate in nonfiction many places.

Niche is probably the last refuge from content mill-ification.

b) getting butt-in-chair skills to do the work. I'll be honest, this is what I have always struggled with as a freelance writer and editor. To the point that my therapist in my appointment yesterday said, gently, "Why do you expect yourself to put in 4-hour blocks of work regularly when you've never done that?" She's right, though my concentration has gotten worse since 2020. I'm trying apps like Forest and pomodoro methods to get back on track. Anyway, you don't need to keep your butt in the chair for 4 hours in a row (that can get bad for your back!) but 2 hours twice a day, or 4 one-hour blocks, etc, can be good and really add up.

In my experience I can do butt-in-chair for 4 hours in a row when there's a looming deadline. Freelance writing assignments are pretty good at that.

c) Keep your day job until you've built up a savings fund to fall back on. This is important. I did not do this, burned through my savings, and wound up moving back in with my mom while I tried to find enough work & save money to become independent again. Not everyone has a mom they get along with as well as I do.

d) Passive income can be helpful, so for me this is where writing & publishing ebooks comes in. Royalties are there if, god forbid, I break my arm and can't edit for a few weeks.

I also wrote a blog post series on budgeting and money management, which opens with my thoughts on freelancer income & setting rates:

http://theresearkenberg.com/2020/04/06/money-management-and-living-on-a-budget-for-freelancers-part-1-income/

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9worldstales · 3 years

Link

INTERESTING POINTS TO PONDER FROM INTERVIEWS 15

Interviews might not remain forever available or not be easy to find so I’ve decided to link them and transcribe the points I find of some interest so as to preserve them should the interview had to end up removed.

It’s not complete transcriptions, just the bits I think can be relevant but I wholeheartedly recommend reading the whole thing.

And of course I also comment all this because God forbid I’ll keep silent… :P

Title: Jaimie Alexander On Set Interview THOR

Author: Steve Weintraub

Published: Dec 10, 2010

BEST BITS FROM THE INTERVIEW

ABOUT SIF AND THOR

Can you talk about, you know, Sif’s relationship in this movie with Thor (Chris Hemsworth), because they have a history in the comics—

Jaimie Alexander: Sure.

--but that aspect of it.

Jaimie Alexander: Um, the relationship between Thor and Sif in this movie is quite platonic. I mean, they’re good buddies, they’ve grown up with each other, they’re warriors, they fight side by side. We haven’t take it to the next level yet. I’m going to throw that in there. But yeah, she kind of thinks he’s a little bit pig-headed, but she loves him nevertheless, you know, she’s like that’s my buddy, I’ll do what I can for him. But she’ll definitely call him on his shit, which I like. Because it’s kind of how I am, with Chris.

You said yet. Did they give you any indication that in the future you would?

Jaimie Alexander: Um, I think that’s a strong possibility due to the comic books, but nothing has really been set in stone.

You and Natalie Portman (who plays Jane Foster), would you say Thor has a type?

Jaimie Alexander: I would say so, yeah. I uh, you know, it’s funny, I—yeah, the dark hair, the mole, the eyebrows, she’s like a miniature version of me. A more fit version of me. I haven’t yet. I actually met with her trainer yesterday to start doing a little bit of flexibility training with her and stuff, but it’ll be interesting. I’ve heard great things about her and she’s a talented girl, and I’ve heard that she’s a pleasure to be around, so.

ABOUT THE DIALOGUES

Can you talk about the dialogue? Does it have that sort of Shakespearian vibe that some of the old comics have, or is it more straightforward speak?

Jaimie Alexander: It’s kind of a cross between, I think. It’s not, you know, over the top Old English, like Lord of the Rings would be or something like that, but there is a very sophisticated air about the Asgardians[?], you know, in their dialogue, and—hold on. Okay. Um, and I’m doing an English accent in the movie. Yeah.

So everybody at Asgard has a British accent?

Jaimie Alexander: Uh, well, Anthony’s (Hopkins) kind of Welsh. But yeah, you know what I mean. On that side of the pond, yeah, pretty much.

ABOUT THE WARRIORS THREE AND LOKI

Can you explain the other characters that you’re here with today, kind of in your own words, just break them down?

Jaimie Alexander: Sure. We have Volstagg, who Ray Stevenson is playing, and he’s kind of a jolly good time-Um, Tadanobu Asano’s not with us today, but his double is here, and he plays Hogun, he’s Hogun the grim. Actually, Tadanobu’s really funny, but he doesn’t get to be in this part. Maybe a little bit. Um, and, I forget who else is in this thing. Josh. Who plays Fandral. He’s Fandral the dashing, and he’s been loads of fun to work with. And uh, you know, he’s definitely always schmoozing the ladies and that sort of thing. His character. He’s married, he doesn’t do that in real life. Uh, I should shut up. And then of course Loki, who is our hellion And he’s, and that’s actually Tom (Hiddleston) has actually helped me a lot with my accent, because he is the standard RP British accent on his own, so I’ve worked a lot with him to sort of match him and we kind of all match him in the movie.

Can you say what your character thinks of Loki before he becomes kind of an out and out villain? Like what’s kind of their relationship? Are they fond of him, do they not trust him?

Jaimie Alexander: I can say, just from—I will be good—from reading the comics, I kind of took it upon myself to sort of follow those storylines more. You know, he’s my buddy, I’ll fight alongside of him, but you know, he’s not as good of a fighter as me. Um, and that’s kind of the attitude I had with him sometimes. Um, but still, the six, the core six of them are very much friends, and it, I think, certain things that happen throughout the film are a little shocking to Sif.

MY TWO CENTS

I like how this interview describes Sif and Thor’s relation letting us know things we didn’t see in the movie, like how they grew up together or how Sif’s feelings for Thor aren’t quite yet of love but working on that direction. It’s kind of interesting also how she believes Thor has a type.

I found interesting how she believes there’s a very sophisticated air about the Asgardians in their language. As English is not my mother tongue this isn’t exactly easy to catch for me.

Honestly she didn’t really say anything new about the Warriors Three but I like how she took time to describe Sif’s relationship and view of Loki. It matches with what is said in “Thor: Heroes and villains” where Loki is listed as one of her companions, but it also hints at how Sif is not overly fond of him (Loki is weaker than her, she has an attitude with him...). It doesn’t quite cover why Sif and the others could turn so quickly against Loki but well, if we add to it that she’s clearly very close to Thor maybe it can explain why she decided to view him in an unfavourable light in favour of getting Thor back.

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spatort · 4 years

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I’m at my parents’ house and I have too much time on my hands apparently, so it’s time for a trip down memory lane! More specifically, a trip into the weird world of 1990s for-profit teen idol RPF, such as this beauty:

No, I did not find this at my parents’ house, I bought it second-hand specifically in order to make this post because I’m a person who enjoys studying fan culture in her free time. So, if you’re wondering what the hell the monstrosity pictured above is, and why it exists, don’t worry, I’m about to answer that question extensively.

LONG (AND HOPEFULLY FUN & INTERESTING) POST UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with a bit of history: In the pre-internet era, fan culture differed from today in a few key regards. Although fanfiction existed, without the internet it was much harder for fans to share their stories with each other. Large fandoms such as Star Trek did have fanzines where fanfic could be printed, but all in all it was a much more niche thing than it is today with millions of fics accessible on AO3.

Fan culture in general, however, was a big thing in the 90s – particularly when it came to pop acts that appealed to teen (and tween) audiences, such as the Backstreet Boys, the Spice Girls, or (mostly in Europe) the Kelly Family. When I was in elementary school, you basically had to pick whether you were a BSB or an NSYNC fan – and god forbid you were a Kelly fan like me, then you were the lowest rung on the social ladder and the target of relentless mockery. Like many German kids in the 90s, me and my sister would religiously read teen magazine BRAVO, cut out every single bit of material about our faves and collect them in folders and self-made fanzines. We created fan art and fanfiction without having words for these things. Without the internet and social media, fans did not have a constant stream of content about their idols, and were left with no other choice but to cling to every bit of information they could find in magazines, on TV shows, or on the radio.

Enter a savvy businessperson who comes up with the perfect merchandise product to sell to these popstar-obsessed teens: fan novels! These books, featuring taglines such as ‘The novel for all Backstreet Boys fans’, typically revolved around a relatable female teenage protagonist who is a fan of the celebrity or music group in question, and usually ends up meeting their idol or, gasp, even becoming romantically involved with them. As far as themes go, they look pretty much exactly like your classic self-insert RPF. Except there is a big difference setting these books apart from ‘actual’ fanfiction: Rather than being written by real fans to express their ‘fannish’ feelings about the subject, fan novels were most likely commissioned works created by professional romance authors purely to profit off of actual fans. There is very little background information available about this ‘genre’, but I did stumble across an academic work on Google Books which featured a passage about these fan novels (translated into English by me):

There are several commissioned works by professional authors, which could be mistaken for fanfiction. Especially in the 1990s, when lots of boy bands were on the market, many books of this kind were published. […] These are fictional stories for fans [redacted].

Jennie Hermann: Backstreet Girl. Projektionsfläche Popstar - Wenn der Fan zum Schriftsteller wird (2009) [Popstar as Projection Surface – When fans become writers]

One of the things I find most intriguing about this type of commercially published fanfiction is the question of personal rights. Obviously, the celebs in question or their management must have consented to using their names in the story, their pictures on the cover and so on – because a profit could be made with this. Especially with the fan debate around RPF allegely being unethical, I wonder if the celebrities themselves were aware someone was writing these stories about them, putting words in their mouth, and if they had any clue what exactly happened in these novels. Now, I’ve read a couple of them in my own youth. Some of them deal mostly with the state of being a fan, e.g. I recall a novel about a girl who is so obsessed with Leonardo Di Caprio that she doesn’t pay attention to real life guys at all, only to learn that her actual dream boy has been in her life all along! This story did not feature Di Caprio himself as a character, it was more about the protagonist’s arc of realizing your idols are not all that matters in life. Others do describe fan encounters with teen idols, and some even feature (hints at) romance with a celebrity. When I decided to purchase a vintage copy of one of these books, I opted for one of the latter category, precisely because of the popular argument that writing romance stories featuring real people is somehow ‘wrong’. For only a couple of euros, I was able to get my hands on a weird and wonderful relic of fan culture: Mein Frühling mit Nick (My spring with Nick) by the likely pseudonymous Maxi Keller, heralded on the book cover as ‘the novel for all fans of the Backstreet Boys’.

The story revolves around 16-year-old musical prodigy and designated wallflower Katharina, who lives in a German small town and cares about nothing else than playing the organ – certainly not about boys, let alone ones that are super-famous American pop stars. This means she is not initially a fan of the Backstreet Boys, which I guess is something of a trope itself – the protagonist meeting a celebrity by chance without knowing who they are and the celeb being thrilled that someone doesn’t just like them for their fame. Anyway, the boys visit Katharina’s hometown while on tour in Germany because band member AJ is doing some research on his German ancestors who happened to live in this very town. Katharina runs into them, she and Nick (who was only 17 himself when this was published in 1997, so it’s legal) fall in love at first sight, she helps them dig up information on AJ’s ancestors and finds out the two of them are related, the boys invite Katharina and her friend Saskia backstage after their show and … nothing happens. The book is 200 pages long and Katharina doesn’t even get one kiss with her boy band sweetheart, even though they mutually crush on each other right away. Perhaps that’s as far as the band or their management agreed for the novel to go – a hint at romance, but no trace of any on-page action, no matter how innocent.

That said, the book is so hilariously poorly written that it was still very entertaining to read. Although I could not find out anything about the author Maxi Keller, and therefore assume this might be a pseudonym, their writing style very much suggests that their are a professional romance author who usually writes for an older audience (plus, the book was published by Bastei Lübbe, who also publish a range of cheap romance novels known as ‘Romanhefte’). The language is extremely flowery at times, and even teenage characters speak with an eloquence that is hardly age-appropriate, with some 90s teen slang peppered in at unfitting times (such as the overuse of the English word ‘girl’). Often the novel loses itself in pointless detail that does nothing to move the plot forward (such as an extensive description of a house party hosted by Saskia’s rich parents, with minute details of their luxurious lifestyle and assets, even though Saskia is only a supporting character in the overall plot). It appears as if the author is desperately trying to fill the pages with meaningless drivel so they don’t need to write too many scenes featuring the presumed main attraction, the boys themselves.

If Keller was indeed merely hired to write this, and is not a fan themselves, one must still admit that the author did their research when it comes to the band. Whereas fanfiction typically assumes that the audience is already familiar with the characters and often skips any introductory descriptions of their appearance or personality, Keller makes sure that even a reader who is completely unfamiliar with the Backstreet Boys can keep up. The author delivers extensive descriptions of the boys’ appearance and demeanor, even spelling out their full names repeatedly, and frequently peppers in ‘fun facts’ such as ‘Kevin was raised on a farm in Kentucky’. While an actual fan might do so to prove how knowledgeable they are, and earning their status as a ‘true fan’, in this case it only seems like Keller really wants to show off how much research they did – as if not a single piece of information they took in must go to waste by not being used in the novel.

When it comes to the question how realistically the non-fannish author replicates the way the boys act and speak, there are two barriers to delivering a well-founded answer: Firstly, I was personally very young when BSB were popular and I really don’t remember too well what each member was like. Secondly, the elephant in the room: the language barrier. All of the aforementioned fan novels were written in German, and the problems posed by writing about an English-speaking band interacting with German OCs (and teenage ones at that) are addressed poorly, if at all. Pretty much all dialogue is written in German, and the audience is left to assume that everyone is actually speaking English whenever the boys are involved – except the novel does nothing to explain why two 16-year-old German girls would be able to express themselves so effortlessly in a foreign language. (Remember, the internet was not a thing, so German kids were not exposed to the same amount of English in everyday life as they are these days.) It would have been easy to make one of them a language nerd who gets straight A’s in English class, and give the other a British parent and make them bilingual. Instead, Katharina initially even worries about the prospect of having to talk to boys at all, and in English on top of that! But when she actually does, the language barrier never comes up again. The suspension of disbelief expected from the reader is therefore immense. The language barrier also gives the author an easy way out when it comes to imitating the way the boys speak in real life – there is no need to take into account idiolects or regional differences (such as ‘you guys’ vs. ‘y’all’) if the boys’ speech is essentially translated into a foreign language. However, I wanted to give you guys (or y’all, if you will) a taste of how Keller attempts to write a scene where AJ and Nick discuss the latter’s crush on Katharina:

I would argue that this sounds realistic enough for what it’s worth, if a little cheesy, which is excusable in this genre. Perhaps a true 90s BSB fan would beg to differ, so if you happen to be one, feel free to drop me a message. But in my semi-professional opinion, this most likely holds up for readers.

So, to answer the initial question that drove me to purchase this book: Do fan novels like Mein Frühling mit Nick count as fanfiction?

If we assume that something is only a fanfic if the author themselves is a fan of the subject matter, then I would argue no, Maxi Keller is probably not a fan themselves and therefore this work of for-profit real-person fiction does not qualify as fanfic. However, fan novels definitely have a (however small) place in the history of fan culture and fan-adjacent works, and I personally found reading this relic both entertaining and insightful!

#fanfiction #fanfic #backstreet boys #nick carter #german stuff

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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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Hi, heavensweetheart in an ask mentioned you’ve written meta on adults writing about teen sex and told me I should ask you about it. I was wondering if you could give your thoughts on this in the context of ATLA, in fanfic and the Suki and Sokka tent scene. Some teens are having a meltdown over that scene saying it’s immoral for 16 y/o to have sex and imply that and I’m so confused. When did teens suddenly become allergic to sex? It wasn’t like that when I was one not long ago?

I’ll probably have follow up questions, but I’ll save those for now. Unless you say you don’t wanna talk on that anymore, which I totally respect. I’m just so confused as to why teens now are rioting against the Sokka and Suki scene, and even the *slight* implication that Zuko and Mai had sex too. They sound like church moms rather than teens and that’s jarring shift in culture in just a few years

I COMPLETELY understand teens wanting to avoid sex and stuff in their own lives or the media they choose to consume on personal levels but don’t know why they’re waging war against it

they’re complaining about that scene now too???? idk why i’m so surprised, considering everything else i’ve seen ppl getting up in arms about in the fandom it was only a matter of time, but jfc

listen, here’s an inconvenient factoid that fans--adult and minor alike--need to bear in mind before they go off half-cocked: underage teens have sex. it’s not like there’s some magical switch that gets flipped the instant someone turns 18 that unlocks their Raging Hormones where before they were Completely Sexless Beings. that’s not how it works. (i’m not bringing asexuality into this because ace ppl can have sex and even decent sex drives, libido and sexuality are not the same thing, and sexual awakenings can happen at just about any age post-puberty.) furthermore, coming-of-age tales (which often involve blossoming sexuality, as that is frequently a part of such narratives) are always going to be published and written by adults.

adults are, by and large, the ones with the resources and time to create finished and polished pieces of fiction and pitch them and get them into publishing houses and sold. teenagers who manage this are the exception to the rule, and the only one i can think of off the top of my head (christopher paolini, who started writing eragon when he was fifteen) was still an adult (at 19) by the time he actually managed to get published. adults are also, sorry to say, going to have a better understanding and perspective on what it was like to be a teenager--because they not only lived through it, but they have distance and a better ability to look at it objectively than someone still in the throes of massive hormonal changes and struggling through high school.

this doesn’t always work to our advantage--’adults forgot what it was like to be kids’ is a major theme in a lot of media for a reason--and sometimes it’s depressingly obvious just when any given author actually experienced being a teenager, because regardless of the setting their characters and plot points and tropes are incredibly dated--but it does typically mean that when an adult author is writing about teenagers having sex, or experiencing a sexual awakening, having a first love and everything that comes with that as a teenager, they aren’t acting like some voyeur watching teens gettin’ it on from the outside, but rather drawing on their own lived and remembered experiences and using those to inform their writing. (or experiences they wish they could have hand, like many queer authors who weren’t able to safely come out as teens and so get to experience being a kid and being able to be queer through their own writing in a way that was denied them in their own lives.)

i’ve done ‘first kiss’ and ‘first time’ type stories, now, as i am, as an adult, and i was never thinking about it as some outside observer perving on teenage characters--i was remembering what it was like when i was that age, and channeling that into my writing. no one is obligated to read or enjoy the things i write, of course, but trying to tell me that i’m not allowed to write about the things i felt as a teenager, just because i’m an adult now? that’s a quick way to get told in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

now, that being said, it’s absolutely flat ridiculous to me that people are complaining about the idea that suki and sokka were having sex, when they were child soldiers in a goddamn war. why is it more acceptable that they were preparing to fight and possibly die in a fierce battle, but gods fucking forbid they be implied to have a sexual relationship with each other before-hand? why is it more acceptable that children fight and die and kill (and yes, the gaang had a bodycount to their names, even aang), but the idea that mid- and older teens having sex is so taboo? nothing was even shown! it was all but spelled out, but in that scene we didn’t even see them kiss, it just immediately cut away after sokka called suki back to his tent!

what this tells me is that people are having a meltdown over the mere suggestion that these fifteen and sixteen-year-olds were sexually active, and considering that by the time i graduated high school (over a decade ago) i knew five girls personally who’d gotten pregnant and either dropped out or been homeschooled for a few months to have their kids before coming back to finish out their classes, i’m having trouble with this idea that even thinking of the fact that teenagers have sex should be so virulently anathema.

teens have sex with each other. sometimes teens get pregnant. sometimes these things find their way into YA fiction, and that is a genre that is almost 100% written by adults. (i’m sure some started writing as teens and maybe even got their early fiction reworked and polished, but the vast vast majority are at least adults, if not totally out of their teens, by the time they are officially published.) sometimes these things find their way even into narratives aimed at a younger audience, because there are always going to be elements that children won’t understand but the adults watching will get a kick out of--think of all the jokes in Shrek that you didn’t understand if you saw it for the first time as a kid, which seem even more hilarious once you’re an adult and have context for them.

no seven-year-old kid is gonna look at the scene of zuko walking in on sokka and the latter inhaling a rose he was holding between his lips as he waited for suki and think ‘OMG HE WAS EXPECTING HIS GIRLFRIEND AND THEY WERE GONNA HAVE SEX’--not unless something else was going on in that household, and at that point its not the show’s fault by any metric. but adults or even older teens are probably gonna get a chuckle, understanding the wink and the nudge that younger kids won’t get cause they don’t have context for that kind of romantic/sexual coding. and that’s ok!!!! the fact that people won’t get it unless they already have context for that sort of behavior is exactly why it works as a subtle joke!

and, again, the fact that a kid was killed on-screen and the fact that the main characters are all effectively child soldiers in a war, and these are somehow not topics that are too mature for the audience at which the show is aimed, but implications (which the target audience won’t understand, but older people who enjoy the show will) that teenagers are having sex is somehow beyond the pale???? (sure sokka might die tomorrow, but at least he wasn’t having -gasp- SEX before he did!!!!! that’s how they sound and it’s fucking ridiculous)

i genuinely do not understand that attitude, and i don’t think i ever will.

#atla #sukka #atla fandom salt #salt for ts #im just so.... so flummoxed #asked #Anonymous

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