#god i can't believe there is actually gonna be a sequel series

[anarchistauthor]

The Junk I Write

I'm an author who wears many hats, I'd say. I've got four books, two of which are very SPN-like, since they star a vampire who eventually works her way up to becoming the goddess of hell (it's complicated), one of which is a fairly conventional superhero story starring a bunch of queer communists, and a medieval fantasy book about people who turn into weapons and kill shit. And that's just my *finished* works.

In the drafts are sequels to all three of those series, a magic school thing I'm working out, a body-horror book about a girl turning into a monster like The Thing and using that power to murder the ones who did that to her, a spy thriller which (no joke) was inspired by Game of Thrones, something I call a "mecha western" which I think describes it better than I could put into words here, and more fanfiction than I know what to do with. And, like always, ideas keep coming to me. (I have ADHD)

So here's the thing: Basically anything I write is derivative in some way. Basically anything ANYONE writes is derivative in some way. If you read my books, and you've also enjoyed the same kinds of media that I have, it won't be hard to pick up their scent. Several major characters in my works got their start in trashy fanfiction which sits on my Google drive and only a handful of people get to actually read. That doesn't mean my novels are based on those fanfictions, and in fact, they have very little to do with the source material other than surface similarities. My novels are original, whether you believe it or not.

Take, for instance, the newest thing I've been writing, which I shall here codename "Greek Gods Thingy." GGT is not a book about actual Greek gods, but about a pantheon I made up based on some archetypes. There's a god of the sky, of the sea, of war, all that good stuff, but they're not the same as their equivalents in any particular real-world pantheon. And, no, this is not the part that's related to my fanfiction.

GGT's protagonist, a young lesbian called Ember, is chosen by one of the gods to do his bidding, and that's basically the plot, whatever. I actually tried to write this thing like a year ago, but I couldn't really pull it together. It felt off, I wasn't vibing with the characters, and in general I was doing kind of a crappy job, only ended up writing like 3500 words. And then, recently, I got the idea to cut and paste a character from one of my fanfictions onto Ember. I'm not gonna say what series it was a fanfic of, but it will be pretty obvious if you've seen the show and pay attention to Ember's mother in particular.

But here's the thing: The more I write it, the less copied it is. It's a completely different setting, different plot, different everything, just with the main character starting from a similar place in her life. I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but when I make an OC for a fanfic, I'm not doing it to self-insert or whatever, I'm crafting a person I love, who I love writing about. And then, what almost always happens is that I say, "Sucks that this character is stuck in a world I don't have ownership of," and then I end up making my own shit for them. That's basically what my medieval book was, too.

That doesn't mean the original work is a copy of the fanfic. If anything, it's freeing great characters, allowing them to spread their wings and prove their right to exist in something real. That's what Ember's done. And genuinely, I can't wait for this book (or any of the rest of them) to be out, so I can share my love for these babies with the world, and hopefully you all love them too. And, frankly...the idea of """real""" authors being judgmental of fanfiction is absurd to me. Fanfic makes writing better, it expands a person's voice and in many cases gets them into writing way before they have enough confidence to try publishing a novel.

Yes. Write that garbage fic of yours. Polish it, sweat over it, let it keep you up at night because you want it to be perfect. It might show you that you have it in you to write something your own. Or, maybe not. That's fine too. Either way, flexing your creativity is always a good thing.

Unless you're a nazi or some shit.

[teyamsatan]

girl i feel like you’ve been talkimg about cruel summer in alot of ur asks and so i went back and re-read it. AND LEMME TELL YOU I BAWLEDDD MY EHES OUT.

i forgot how truly painful it was to read oceans and engines. i kept going back and forth with the paragraphs in that chapter bcz i couldnt comprehend the pain.

the part where she drops the necklace, walks away and moves on gets me everytimeeee and i always wanna die when i read it.

AND THE FACT THAT THEY WERE SOOOO FUCKING CLOSE. they nearly got their happy ending (going off of oceans and engines and not the alt). like if only she got her avatar sooner, they wouldve been together🥹🥹🥹 thinking about it makes my chest hurt so badly like not even joking- the angst is insane😭😭

the book me with so many unanswered questions. like did neteyam move on aswell and became happy with his mate? did we ACTUALLY move on? what happened to the necklace- did it sink to the deepest depths of the water- what if it washed up on the shores of awa’atlu??? honestly what if she visits the island again in her avatar form and js yk IDK BUT LIKE AHHH i really need a sequel tbh🤞🤞

anyways andra, ur beautiful, i love you, you write fucking GOD TIER FICS AND UR THE BESTT. THANKYOU<3333

- 🕷️ (im so sorry for how unnecessary n long this was😭😭)

ARGH YOU BESTIES HAVE BANDED TOGETHER TO MAKE ME SOBBBBB!!!!

i can't believe you reread cruel summer and yes, oceans and engines is probably the saddest thing i'll ever write (although i wouldn't quote me on it cause the dilf jake series is gonna be sad af), but it will always have such a special place in my heart, and i'm happy it resonated with you, too! :(

the necklace part killed me too, but in my head it was necessary as a step in her healing, or at least trying to.

and yes, the avatar was evil on my part, but again, i wanted to drive home the idea that sometimes, the only thing you have is love, but everything else is against you. it was so sad to me, the idea that both of them will have to live with the knowledge that it wasn't impossible after all, just mistimed. like that would kill me to know, and i think it did them, too, but that's part of life, and in the end, it was something they had to learn to live with.

andddddd.... a sequel for cruel summer is currently in the works bestie, and i can't wait to share it with you <3

ilyyy and NEVER apologise for long asks, they make my life!!!!

smooches x

[jimintomystery]

Danganronpa 3

After I watched the Game Grumps play the first two Danganronpa games, I wanted to continue the story. I was gonna wait for them to play the third game, but that's more like an AU or something. (Or is it?) It turns out that the adventures of Danganronpa, Blorbo, and the rest of Dork Squad continue in the anime series Danganronpa 3: The End of Kibougamine Gakuen.

(translator's note: "Kibougamine Gakuen" means "Hope's Peak High School.")

I don't think Arin and Dan are going to riff an anime, so I figured I'd have to do this one solo. Sure, I don't like anime, I thought, but I held my nose through the games, so how bad could it be? The first episode has a weird caricature of a Black man. Four episodes in, everybody gets horny because their dinner is laced with an aphrodisiac. Anime!

[Above: I couldn't believe the world ended because an otaku got all mad that somebody said anime is stupid, but actually it makes a lot of sense.]

Even by anime standards, though, something about the way the characters look and move feels uncanny. I got the feeling this was a bit of a rush job, but maybe I'm just out of touch.

Also, this show is really hyper-violent. I can't be too upset about that, because I knew it was Deaddovebagpa when I picked it up. But I can't in good conscience recommend this to anyone. If you're going to watch it, you need to have a hell of a reason that overcomes all the reasons not to. My reason is that I'm already In Too Deep.

Anyway, I binged this back in May and immediately spent the next three months writing fanfic about it. So as much as I complain about this furshlugginer thing, I clearly got something out of it. So let's talk about that. (Spoilers under the cut.)

DR3 is split into two arcs: The "Future Arc" is a sequel to DR1 and DR2, and the "Despair Arc" is a prequel. (There's also one episode called the "Hope arc", but that's basically just the finale of the Future Arc.) The Despair Arc features the kids from DR2 and the events leading up to The Tragedy. The Future Arc features the DR1 kids, and their contentious relationship with the Future Foundation, which has been rebuilding the world since The Tragedy.

I don't have a lot to say about the Despair Arc. It's a tragic story, and it does fairly well weaving the bits of backstory from DR1&2 into a coherent narrative. In a weird way it reminded of watching the Star Wars prequels. You've got all this organization of super-prodigies at the height of their power, and in their hubris they let a few unforced errors snowball into the collapse of their civilization. I was mainly interested how Despair episodes added context to subplots in the Future Arc: the Munakata/Sakakura/Yukizome stuff is an obvious example, but there are plenty of others.

But I'm sick of prequels. I prefer to move forward. Give me Blorbo.

In the Future Arc, Makoto Naegi is in trouble for his unauthorized plan to rehabilitate the kids from DR2. So he's brought before the Future Foundation leaders for questioning, but then the whole group is trapped in a new version of the Killing Game. The kids from DR1 want to work together to figure this out, because that worked before. The Foundation leaders, who have spent years at war while the DR1 kids were isolated in their school, think that approach is naive, so they quickly descend into trying to kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.

Most of the new characters in this Killing Game are really absurd. I mean, that's Danganronpa for you, but it's harder to roll with it when these weirdos are sitting around a Wise Council Elders table deciding the fate of the world. Not to single out Ruruka Ando, but she's only a couple of years older than Makoto and her special talent is making delicious candy. I Guess dot jpg.

Despite this, each character gets just enough development to make me care about most of them, at least a little. Danganronpa has always been surprisingly good at that, often with little effort. You'll meet a dude named "Hentai Dakimakura" and he's the Ultimate Coupon Clipper or something but also he speaks through a ventriloquist dummy, and you're like "...the hell is this?" But then a month later you're like "Ha ha, that's our Daki, always up to his shenanigans."

Of course, my favorite character is Kyoko Kirigiri, and I watched this primarily to see what happens to her...and uhhh to see if she hooks up with Makoto. This did not go well.

[Above: just fuck me up]

...OK, look. I read over a year ago that Kyoko seems to die in DR3, and then in the end she's still alive. If I wasn't sure she'd be okay I wouldn't have watched this thing. I thought I was ready. I was not ready, because I didn't know how she "dies." All at once you learn that her poison bracelet was going to kill her unless Makoto died first, and that she must have know this the whole time. I had to stop and drink some rum. I cannot believe this hit me so hard.

This leads to a pivotal scene where Future Foundation leader Chad Munakata challenges Makoto to a showdown. See, all along Chad believed Makoto didn't have the nads for defeating despair. So he figures Kyoko's death will break Makoto's spirit, proving his point, and I'm like "YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH, YOU SON OF A BITCH." But Kyoko asked Makoto to promise not to give up, so then I'm like "i know it sucks little buddy but you have to shake it off and get back up, dude, you promised." And then he flashes back to that scene and balls his fists and I'm all "yeahhhhh go get 'im, tiger."

The general theme of the Future Arc is about refusing to surrender to despair, even in the face of abject doom, even when empty violence might seem more personally satisfying. Makoto can't bring back the dead or undo the damage done to the Future Foundation, but he stays the course for its own sake, and therefore wins the ideological fight. So I think I understand why the Hope Arc might come across as magically fixing too much--not only is Kyoko resurrected, so is nearly every casualty from Danganronpa 2. I don't think that undermines the premise, though; like I said, I knew Kyoko wasn't dead but I still felt Makoto's grief as if she was truly gone forever. And besides, the series has always rewarded characters for enduring despair with a timely stroke of luck, even if it's not always so transparent.

["I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance."]

I ended up pulling an all-nighter to finish Danganronpa 3, because I just couldn't put it down and...well, I had to get to the part where Kyoko returned. About ten minutes before that scene, it finally hit me that nothing is going to happen when Makoto finds out she's alive, just like they didn't confess their love for each other in DR1 and they weren't explicitly a couple at the start of DR3. I feel dumb for just now figuring this out in 2022, but the tease that two characters will get together is the draw, so the storytellers always have an incentive to kick the can down the road rather than deliver a payoff. If you need a payoff, well, that's what fanfiction is for. Which explains why I had to write two of 'em, probably.

It's truly astonishing to me how happy and fulfilled I feel after I finish one of these Danganronpa things. Maybe it's just because I like Kyoko a lot and she always wins. But I suspect it's because they know how to manipulate your emotions, and take you down just low enough (but not too low) so you'll feel great when the good guys finally win. I need to figure out the formula so I can swipe it.

[xpeachesncream]

restart | six

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, arguments, y/n and tae get really mean with each other honestly, unprotected soft sex in the flashback scene, alcohol consumption, y/n really going above and beyond for her man though

note: taehyung’s one shot for the witchers one series will be coming out.. probably this weekend? i’ll continue taking some breaks in between posting new chapters for bands and restart so i can work on this too!

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You looked at the new picture hanging on the hall at Jin's café. It was a picture of you, Taehyung and your friends in your graduation caps and gowns. You smiled to yourself seeing how happy you all were to finally overcome the milestone together, how happy you and Taehyung were to have gotten through it together.

It seemed like a distant memory.

"Hey." Jungkook comes behind you, his blonde hair almost covering his eyes.

"Hmm?" He follows your gaze to the picture.

"What time is your shift over?" He asks, trying to change the subject. You turn to him and sigh, checking the time on your phone.

"Mm, in a bit actually. I have to run home and get ready."

"Oh hey, you're meeting that girl today right? To see if you can sell some of your art and merch in her boutique?" You smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah! She's such a sweetheart, I'm super excited. I hope it works out."

"I'm sure it will." He pinches your cheek. He doesn't say anything else, being that he can tell other things were on your mind but you weren't ready to talk about it yet.

Racing home to the apartment, you decided to hop into a quick shower and throw on some better clothes. You still couldn't believe Brandi had came up to you at the flea market, almost feeling like she was a blessing in disguise. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, the excitement peeking through as the minutes went by.

"Hey! Goodluck today, little one!" You picked up Jin's call as you walked out of your apartment and down to your car. Taehyung, for whatever reason, was nowhere to be found, and you figured he was just out with Namjoon or one of their other friends. You had left him sound asleep earlier, and you didn't think he had any plans today. But, you would just have to see him later and tell him all about the meeting. You were actually excited to, especially after last night.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung gripped onto the headboard as he rolled his hips into you, your clit rubbing against him as his body lowered onto yours. He kept his eyes on you, his lips barely grazing yours as he softly hissed and let out small moans.

“Hmmmfuck.” You softly mewled. For once, the love making felt like old times - the passion. The fire. The feelings. It felt like Taehyung was making love to you like the world was going to end. And the thought of it, the feeling of his body against yours, the warmth - it made you feel complete, and like you never wanted to leave this moment.

"I love you so much, baby." He whispers as he continues to pick up his pace, rolling his hips and working in tandem with yours.

"I love you, too." You softly say as your fingers lock into his hair, his lips pressed gently against your neck as he laid soft kisses along a straight path and nipped at your skin. You arch your back slightly, the pleasure starting to bubble up within your core as you hear Taehyung moan against your neck.

"God, baby I'm gonna cum." He continues to moan. "Cum with me."

"Close." You moan softly, tugging on his hair as he picks up his pace and begins to thrust a little more aggressively. "I-I'm--"

"Uh huh." He nods. "That's it, love."

"I'm gonna cum." Your hands are now gripping his shoulders, nails digging deep and leaving red marks against his honey-dipped skin. It takes a few more rolls before you feel your body trembling under his grip, muffled moans trying to escape as you let the orgasm ripple through you. As you come down from your high, you feel Taehyung fill you up warmly, his body still ontop of yours as he tries to regulate his breathing. He presses his lips against your jaw, to your forehead, to your nose, then back down to your lips before he removes his softening member from within you and plops next to you on the bed. He instantly swoops you into his arms, your head laying on his chest as you ran your finger in circles around his collarbone.

"Baby." He says softly. "You mean everything to me. You know that right? I got you through anything, no matter what." You simply nod before he places another kiss against your head.

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Thank you. I'll tell you all about it later, okay?"

"Sounds good. I know this'll work out. I'm proud of you, you know that right?" Your smile lightly fades. Yeah, it was a big deal, but you still hadn't told anyone a lot of your other plans had been put on pause.

"I know." You softly chuckle. "K, I need to get going. I'll call you later."

"Love you, drive safely." He says before you return the love and hang up. You hopped into your car and began to drive off to the destination downtown. However, as you neared the boutique, another call came through to your car, but from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yeah, this is she."

"Hey there. Could you come down to Jack's? We have your fiancé here. He's intoxicated and he's been giving the staff a hard time." You sigh and look at your watch. Jack's was on the opposite end of town. You were never going to make it on time for your meeting. You had promised you'd be there to make this work.

"Where is he?" You say as you quickly park your car and make your way to the restaurant. You see him slouched onto the bar, slurring his words to the police men. The bar stools around him were all turned over, glasses broken and flyers from the wall had been ripped off. You couldn't help but begin to cry because you knew this was all Taehyung's doing, and quite frankly, you had so many emotions - you were scared, upset, empty, exhausted. You didn't know what else to do, but you loved him.

And yet here you were again, pushing your goals aside to help the love of your life.

"Tae, baby. Let's get up, okay?" His eyes are glazed as they turn to you. He smiles, but he struggles to get up, the police man helping support him as you both bring him to your car.

"Baby girl." He mumbles.

"Shh. Just stay here." You shush him as you get him situated in the passenger seat, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but this damage needs to be covered." You took the ticket from the police man, showing the restaurant charging over $200 worth of the damages.

"It's fine, I'll take care of this. I'm so sorry."

"If you need anything, please let us know." The cop couldn't help but sympathize looking at you. At this point your cheeks were hot, tears continued to stream down your face and your hair had become a mess having supported Tae back to the car. You silently climbed in, crying to yourself as you drove back to the apartment, Taehyung slumped and asleep in the passenger seat.

You did your best to support him back to your apartment, the security guard offering help but you turned him down. You had been doing good so far and you thought you had this in the bag. As you had exited the elevator, Taehyung stumbled upon his own two feet, bringing the both of you down.

"Babe, get up please." You cried, using all of your force to get him up. He did try his best to stable himself as you stood, but the five steps to the front door ended up being twenty, with a few more stumbles in between. "Please, we're almost there." You continued to cry.

You finally got Taehyung out of his clothes and into the bed, washing his face with a warm towel before you let him sleep peacefully. You made your way to the living room and just broke down. Your meeting was way past its time, and yet you had passed on another great opportunity because you needed to be there for Taehyung. You felt helpless.

You just didn't know how else to do it.

"Hello? How'd it go?" Jungkook asks on the other line.

"Kook, I don't know if I could do this anymore." You cried into the phone. "I can't do it." You cried silently, heavily.

"Y/N." He sighs worriedly. "What happened? Do you want me to come by?"

"No, I-I just—" You cry as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. "I've given up so many things for him, and he even apologized last night. Saying he'd do better and all this shit, but he hasn't. I knew this would happen and-and I can't—" You ramble on and on, Jungkook worried as he tries to decipher what you're saying through your crying.

"Slow down, and tell me what just happened."

"I didn't even get to meet her, Kook. I was on my way when I got a call from the cops saying he was drunk and giving the staff a hard time at Jack's. Shit was torn up, the stools were turned over, flyers ripped off the walls." You mumbled through your cries. "I told them I'd take care of it and handle the damages. Why would he do this? Why would he do this to me?" Kook sighs heavily.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm sure there's a lot of things going on in his head that can help explain this. And I can help you take care of the damages, it's not a big deal."

"No."

"Stop. Let me help you." He pauses. "Can you text Brandi and just let her know it was an emergency or something? I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm so humiliated though, like I can't even face her after I stood her up."

"Listen to me. It's not like you meant to. Just text her and explain, she seems like a really nice and understanding person. Don't feel embarrassed. Shit happens."

"You don't get it, bunny." You cried harder, silently, hoping you wouldn't be too loud to wake up Tae. "This was the last chance I had. I-I told Jimin I wouldn't be working on the shop right now. I gave all this shit up for him and I really just can't do this anymore. I've set myself aside to be there for him, only for him to fuck me over in the end. He doesn't realize how much he's been hurting me." You're feeling so many emotions at once that you don't even know if you're making sense. You wanna say so much, but you can't. You wanna get back up on your feet, but you can't.

"It's not gonna be the last chance." He says softly. "You're always welcome to crash with me if you'd like, just to give yourself some space." You sigh, finally able to slow down your crying and regulate your breathing.

"I can't just leave him."

"Y/N. He's gonna have to learn one way or another." Suddenly, you hear some stirring in the room, causing you to frantically wipe your tears and get yourself together.

"I have to go, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Let me know if you need me, I'll be there." You hang up the call and turn your attention to the room when you hear Taehyung give off a small groan. You rush over, seeing him bent over on his knees on the side of the bed, his hands pressed against his face. "You alright?" You ask him softly, already prepping the trash can with a paper bag inserted inside in case he needs to release.

"I don't feel too—" And as you assume correctly, you hold the trash can up to him as he releases, your heart breaking at the sight of him struggling. You were torn - torn between wanting to do everything and wanting to do absolutely nothing at this point. You were spent, you had given him everything and you were left with nothing besides the uncertainty of your relationship and the umpteenth amount of tears you had been shedding.

This wasn't fair to you, and you couldn't let him keep doing this to you.

After he seems to be done being head first into the trash can, you set it aside to clean up later and give his face another good wash up with a warm towel. He seems a bit better and more sober after having vomited, but you get him to go back to sleep while you head into the kitchen to heat up some water and make some tea. You ponder on your thoughts, on your feelings, while waiting for the electric kettle to flip the switch, hinting that the water was done heating. You pour yourself and Tae a cup - green tea for you, while you whipped up some ginger tea with lemon for him. You walk over to the room seeing him asleep, but he slightly opens an eye when he feels your body dip into the edge of the bed.

"Drink this while it's hot." You say as you place the cup on the night stand.

"Thank you, baby." He manages to say raspily. "Stay with me?" You shake your head.

"I need to take care of some stuff outside." And with that, you don't turn to look at him or give him more of your attention before simply walking off. You bite onto your bottom lip as you head back to the kitchen, pulling out your laptop to start organizing the bills and figuring out which ones to pay off first. You almost forgot you had these deadlines to meet.

It's close to 8pm when Taehyung finally gets up and walks out to the kitchen, seeing you still hovering over your laptop. This time though, you had a bowl of ramen ready for him to go, while you had just finished devouring yours. You don't say anything as he comes forward to the kitchen island, but his eyes are locked onto you. You turn to face the sink and start washing your bowl when you feel his arms snake around your hips and his lips pressed against the back of your head. And as much as you wanna sink into his body, you don't.

"Baby, I'm so—"

"Save it." You aggressively throw your spoon down into the sink before turning to face him. "Don't."

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"No, Taehyung. Not anymore. I've heard it way too many times and I'm tired." You say, your eyes starting to water. "I'm so tired. You knew today was the day I had to meet Brandi. Why couldn't you just hold off for a second, Tae? Do I literally have to give up everything for you?"

"Woah, I never said you had to—" You scoff as you cross your arms.

"You didn't have to say it. All this shit you've done, throwing the whole Jimin thing in my face, getting drunk and acting up." You cry. "You don't think I can catch on? I'm not stupid, Taehyung. Don't take me for a fucking dumbass."

"I've been here struggling with my own feelings too okay, Y/N? It's been a fucking shit show for me and I don't think you understand."

"You don't think I understand?!" You yell, appalled at his argument. As much as you didn't wanna play the pointing fingers game, you had no choice but to since Tae didn't seem to get it. He obviously didn't understand you even though he said he did last night, and that's what hits you. "I know you've been struggling and I've been doing my very best to be there every step of the way for you to help support you. I gave up this shit with Jimin and told him to hold off because I knew you were having trouble with it. I fucking went to the school event 10 minutes late and tired out of my goddamn mind, and I just got lucky Dr. Forneo wasn't done with his speech or else I would have been shit out of luck too! And then today, I was on my way to meet Brandi when I got the call that I needed to come get you because you decided trashing Jack's was the perfect way to show how frustrated you've been feeling. Don't tell me I don't fucking understand when I've done it all just to be here for you! I pushed myself aside for you, and quite frankly, I feel like I've just been wasting my life in this relationship." You say harshly, a little taken aback at the words that come out of your mouth, but you have no intentions of bringing it back. He scoffs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looks at you, expression full of hurt and betrayal.

"If you've been feeling like that, why didn't you tell me sooner so I could have just left you alone? So I wouldn't have wasted all this time for you?"

"I love you so much, and I hate seeing you hurt. I wanted to do everything in my power to help relieve you, help you get rid of this pain you've been feeling, but I've just been hurting myself in the process. You haven't even realized it. I can't do this to myself anymore, Taehyung. I can't." In a quick moment, his expression quickly turns into more hurt and frustration, his brows furrowing as his tears continue to come down.

"Then fucking leave Y/N! Leave, if this shit isn't what you want!" He yells loudly that you're a little startled by his tone.

"You'd just let me go like that?" You ask shakily.

"Go and be like the rest of them, like I give a fuck." He says, sounding exactly like the asshole Taehyung you had dealt with the night of Jin's café party. "You don't know what it's like—" He shakes his head. "To feel so completely useless and unworthy. To have people remind you and throw it in your face constantly how much of a fuck up you really are." He pauses, glaring back at you. "You're just like Hana, you know?" He instantly regrets it the moment it slips, but it's too late for him to take it back. You cry harder at the statement because why in the fuck would he say some dumbass shit like that? You were not her whatsoever. And you'd like to think you've done a hell of a job sticking by him through thick and thin. Not like her.

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. I am not her." You put your foot down. "I know I can't relate but the one thing I do know is that I gave you my everything, and I did nothing but stand by you through thick and thin. As much as I want to do it all, you have to do your part in getting yourself out of this, too. There's only so much I can do for you. Don't tell me you're in this for the long run when you can't even realize that shit. This isn't how you're supposed to treat somebody who loves you, somebody you call your fiancé. This isn't how we get by together. And you know fucking better than that." You spit out, aggressively wiping your tears. "I'm going to stay at Yoongi's until we leave."

"Y/N." He sighs deeply, following you into the room.

"No, don't touch me." You look at him as you break free from his grip. "You said what you said. I'm not doing this shit anymore." You softly cry. "Clearly, we need the space." You began to pile your clothes and necessities into your luggage, removing all attention away from Taehyung.

"Fine." Is all he manages to say before he's grabbing a jacket and heading out of the room. You hear him yell a loud 'fuck!' before glass hits the wall and shatters, followed by the front door slamming shut. You break down onto the ground and cry everything you have left in you. What did this mean for the both of you, you had no idea. After all of this, you still wanted him and you still hoped this would work out. Half of you suddenly didn't want to leave on these terms, but you knew you had to - to give yourself some space and give Taehyung enough space to hopefully learn and snap himself out of it.

But shit, this fucking hurts.

Suddenly you look at your ring and you have no idea what to feel.

By the time you're done packing what you need to pack, you feel so groggy and beat that you can barely make your way to Yoongi's. Your head is pounding and everything around you feels like dull, white noise. Sleep is the only thing on your mind.

"Hey." Yoongi steps aside to let you in. He grabs your luggage from you and sets it aside, following you into his living room space. "You okay?" He asks, knowing damn well you aren't but he figured this is how he could get the conversation started. You simply look at him, silently shake your head and begin to cry into your hands again. You feel Yoongi engulf you in his arms as he sits you down into the couch and brings your body close to his. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. It's gonna be okay. I got you."

"It fucking hurts." You mumble into his chest and he simply nods before slightly pulling away. "He just let me go."

"Let's get you to bed, yeah? You can sleep in mine and I'll stay out here." You nod as you wipe away your tears, Yoongi also doing his best to get rid of the stragglers streaming down your cheeks. He brings your luggage into the room and gives you some space to change and get yourself comfortable. Which, you do, but it takes awhile as your body wants to do absolutely nothing at this point. You shove yourself underneath his covers, a weighted blanket on top providing you with extra warmth. You turn to face the wall, hoping you could fall into a deep sleep soon.

But, you can't, no matter how exhausted you are.

"In here?" You hear Jungkook's voice faintly outside before he gently opens the door. You don't move in your position, even though you've just been blankly staring at the wall. You hear Jungkook gently shut the door before you feel his body weight on the edge of the bed. His fingers are running through your hair, brushing it gently as you continue to stare at the wall. "Y/N."

"Not now, Kook." He sighs.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine."

"Can I at least do anything for you right now?"

"I just want to sleep." He nods.

"Okay. I'll be hanging out with everyone for a bit outside. Just let me know if you need me." He says, gently caressing your covered arm before heading out of the room. You sighed and closed your eyes once more, hoping you could finally drift off into a deep sleep.

But your thoughts continued to wander to your fiancé and his whereabouts, whether or not he was okay and where he was at. They always wandered to him. It never failed.

And yes, it was the same for Taehyung. It was the same all the time.

He thought about you 24/7, he even thought about you now as he looks down at the notification lighting up on his phone.

The notification that gives him permission to come upstairs to her apartment.

but when i see you it hurts, when i see you it starts to hurt baby; i can see it in your eyes, I can see the pain in your eyes I'm sorry, tell me baby did it feel right to be with you and at the same time lose myself, my soul is burning out so casually

track four: lie 2 me - fern

[nebulousfishgills]

My thoughts on the finale (long post)

Okay, I really just wanna put some thoughts down and I need to do it here. Spoilers and opinions, you can choose to agree or not, but please be respectful

I usually try to have a good attitude about things, pointing out the best in everything.

I'm having a really hard time right now.

That's not to say the episode was bad, it's just...

Well, I feel like I'm watching the Game of Thrones finale again. I just feel so unfulfilled. Then again, my hormones are a little out of wack at the moment (thanks mother nature) so my odd feelings could be because of that. I feel so angry and upset and hyped and... I don't honestly know. I really don't. I feel like I want to throw up, but not in a bad or good way.

I guess I just...

Feel.

I've stayed up every night for every episode because I just adored it so much. Yet I feel like... there should be more. I know we got a second season confirmed, but we don't know when. We don't know what it means for the future of the MCU. We don't know anything.

I guess we should have expected this because Loki was supposed to be this new horizon for the MCU. Doctor Strange 2 needed a plot. Someone said this show was just a big ad for MoM, and I find myself disagreeing with that, but only a little.

I think the best way to describe it is it's like the show suddenly decided it wanted to be something else. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but after episode 3, the tone really shifted.

I'm trying really hard to hold off on my more detailed thoughts, but they just keep creeping in, so I'll just wrap up this... intro? Idk.

I think the TLDR is that I feel disappointed, but I don't really blame anyone. Kate Herron, Mike Waldron, they all did AMAZING jobs. They really deserve the highest of praise for this. Is it my favorite MCU project? Yes. Am I excited for season 2? Absolutely.

But Game of Thrones can still be my favorite show and I can still dislike the ending.

I find writing this out is helping me feel better. Once I sleep it'll probably feel less... hopeless.

Now, next section. My thoughts on key plot points.

We all figured Kang would be introduced. I'm actually very excited to see what they do with him. The actor was just phenomenal and I can't wait to see him later on. Someone call up Erik Voss because he redeemed himself after the whole Mephisto deal

I guess the Multiverse was reborn, but not in the way I was expecting/hoping. I feel like there's a large gap between when the timeline shattered and the final scene with Loki, Mobius, and B-15. What happened? Though, I guess it makes sense. We all wanted a multiverse. We never considered the consequences.

I'm angriest about Mobius losing his memories and not getting his jetski. Like I said, Yelena can get a dog in BW after mentioning it once. But as someone on Reddit pointed out, they had to make sure Marvel would greenlight a second season. It does not mean I can't have a huge cow about it. That's what we get for jinxing it, friends.

I think I understand what Star Wars Sequel haters went through. Getting all these grand (maybe... glorious?) ideas about the ending and what a hopeful message about destiny and identity the series could give us. And the series gave us... none of that. Hell, I was so sure these would be used, and I was bamboozled. I'm sure others saw it coming, but they just looked too good to be fake out shots. My best guess is that they're gonna use this footage in season 2 for a plotline and they stuck it in here to trick us... but maybe that's just me being desperate

It was barely 1 AM here, Marvel. The Miss Minutes jumpscare was NOT COOL. I mean, THIS IS HORRIFYING IN LIGHT AS WELL

I'm really confused about Ravonna now. Is she good or is she bad? Where did she go? And why was it important we see her backstory and not any of the others (say, B-15 or Mobius)?

God, okay, I guess I have to address the elephant in the room now.

The Sylki kiss and then betrayal fight thing.

Let me get one thing very extremely clear before I continue: I do prefer Lokius, but I am FINE with Sylki. I think I've just been desensitized to any ship that ends with -cest because, as I've made clear here and in the past, I adore Game of Thrones and Crimson Peak.

I honestly think my main reservation about it is a flaw within myself that I dared not admit until I saw it staring me in the face: I'm probably a little possessive. I can admit this and I really dislike it about myself. But I think I'm just not a fan of Loki having a love interest in general. What makes Lokius different, I have no clue. Maybe deep down I knew Marvel was too much of a pussy to ever make it canon... then again, I was begging for a last minute kiss or something. My feelings on the matter are complicated.

But the way they handled the kiss in this episode? Gotta say, not too much of a fan. I know some antis like this, but it just felt too... not genuine. Maybe I'm just an idiot who thinks all kissing should have a meaning. A purpose. The Reylo kiss in Rise of Skywalker? Ben just saved Rey's fucking life, I think that warrants a large gesture of affection.

But this?

I think I get bad juju from the kiss, not the fact that they made it Canon. You can disagree or agree any way you want, you can even send nasty anon messages. That's my opinion and I'm choosing to stick to it.

And sending nasty anons won't do squat, I don't give a shit about faceless threats and hate.

Anyways, back to my point

The fight felt like a mutual betrayal, but at the same time it felt like neither really wanted to go through with it. I admit I felt Sylvie was more in the right and that Loki seemed a little too complacent, especially after everything he went through and saw. But like Sylvie, I didn't consider the consequences and now everything is fucked. But I still don't think Loki was right.

I think it boils down to being an impossible choice because no matter what you pick, everyone loses.

I believe that my main gripe with Sylvie and Loki's ideology split is that it feels a little too rushed and/or, dare I say it, out of character. I've agreed with Loki's characterization up until this point (again, you can disagree with me, that's your opinion and you have full right to it), but... man, I don't know. It all feels like an impossible situation.

Then again, I'm not the one in the director's chair. I'm not the team in the writers room. I don't know the first thing about making a project like this. I like taking solace in the fact that Tom had some creative control in the series about the character he loves so much. And, let's be real, he knows Loki the best out of all of us. None of us can hold a candle to that.

We can call ourselves experts, but Tom is the real expert. I trust him more than anyone. If he hated how this was turning out, he probably would have said something.

We just have to trust in the creative process

So, at the end of the day, this series was (and still is, remember, season 2 is on the way) absolutely phenomenal and I think it's Marvel's strongest work in a very long time. They know Loki is a character we all love and adore and I feel like they've done their best in honoring that. Besides, what other character is getting a second season? How awesome is that??

I found writing this out helped me process my thoughts and emotions IMMENSELY. I don't feel as... angry? Hopeless? I don't know. I keep comparing this to the end of Game of Thrones, and I feel like that's doing a disservice to Loki. Game of Thrones' ending was just absolute dog shit and there was no chance to redeem it because it was the last season.

Loki has a second season on the way.

It's not over yet.

Nothing is ever final until the universe forces it.

Kang can be stopped

The Multiverse can roam free

Loki can learn to find true happiness

Sylvie can stop running and fighting

Ravonna can redeem herself

The TVA can burn or reform (whichever you choose)

And yes

Mobius can get a jetski

We know nothing yet of season 2, what it will entail, how it connects to the rest of the Marvel Universe, or even when it will be out. But I know that I will eagerly await it when that day comes. I will once again put on a smile. I will wait hours to watch the new episode the moment it drops. I will be excited for it and enjoy it.

Because, at the end of the day, that's all it's about. Telling a story. And, mother of God, Marvel sure is telling a good one.

Until next time, my friends.

For All Time. Always!

-FishGills

[societysonlooker]

I'm getting into the discourse-y side 0f pjo tumblr, so imma leave it before I upset myself, but the one thing if have to say is this.

Pjo and it's sequel series are great stories, with well-written books, and compelling narratives.

But.

As kind and forward thinking as Rick Riordan has tried to be with his books, he has fallen into the pitfalls of hitting harmful stereotypes on the head, and sometimes forgetting underlying themes of his own work.

And thats not an insult.

Not a compliment, but not an insult.

Gods above and below know that I sometimes forget side plots and underlying themes I'm trying to talk about and be consistent with in my own work.

But.

I'm IN the communities I'm writing about.

Riordan is not.

Even while trying his best, he doesn't know what to look for and avoid.

I love his work, and even then, I'm willing to say that a number of the problems people are seeing and discussing are the inevitable product of someone trying and failing to hit the mark.

There's a LOT of historical context, primarily GAY context, that has been lost in Greek mythos, and unless you're looking for it, you're never really gonna find it. How many people can say that they KNOW Virgin/maiden meant unmarried, NOT "chaste" way back when. Artemis's hunters realistically could have been women of ANY sexuality but heterosexual+heteroromantic.

Getting outed when you're REALLY not ready to come out, or are scared you could be hurt if you come out, ntm being 15/16 and having your heart bared to the world, that's fucking traumatic. It hurts worse than just about anything else at that age CAN hurt you, it's not just something you glower over for a few days while saying "hm, that sucks". It's terrifying and painful.

Also. ace's and aros's aren't broken in any way. Our hearts aren't wrong, they don't need to be "mended" or "healed" jfc.

And Rick forgetting themes of minor gods being important... it sucks. It really fucking does. He had a LOT going for him with the "hey don't cast people to the wayside because they don't hold as much [political and literal] power at birth as others do and all you're doing by disenfranchising them is hurting them and yourselves, we're all people together so act like it and be kind, because people responding to hate and disdain with violence isn't really that fucking shocking you assholes" thing. And he dropped the ball. And it sucks but... Rick is still a white dude. And don't get me wrong, I do honestly believe he's trying, and that he's trying to be inclusive and diverse and kind, and tbf, he's doin a lot better than a lot of his contemporaries and peers.

But at the same time, it's not out of the question that he might have had that theme more internalized with the "be kind to people" than the whole "hey let's be kind to these very specific groups of people we were helping?" we all took it as.

What I'm saying is, he dropped the ball because he didn't realize it was something that could be dropped. He's not (outwardly amd that I know of, at least) part of any ostracized or oppressed group, so his focus was on the story as a whole, not the underlying tones and implications of his forgotten plot points.

And AGAIN. Its sucks. But as a writer... I get it. It happens. It just sucks that it happened with such an important theme.

I do honestly believe Riordan tried his best, and ngl, as someone who didn't really watch non-animated TV as a kid (aka I didn't watch glee or anything like it), nico di-angelo was my first bit of gay rep in modern media (apollos actual myths don't count I knew it was gay it just never like... Clicked). As an ace, I think it's rad he made the hunters aroace, as someone who vaguely defines as a lebian, I think it sucks that there's can't be wlw in relationships in the hunters.

(or nonbinary folk and even men for that matter, there ARE myths where Artemis lets men into the hunters because they've proven they're both humble, and not there to flirt with the women its just sus is all I'm saying. She doesn't hate men, she hates their Pride and ego, and I think it's a VERY interesting distinction when looking at classical Greeks absolute disdain for women. Because Artemis basically had the gall to say "im not just your better because I'm a goddess I and all my sisters are your equal and betters as women and men got fucking mad abt that. She really had nothing against the ones that accepted her and the hunters competence)

Anyway.

Rick Riordan is a writer, not a gay classics nerd with a firm grasp of the complexities of all the different sexualities. He's a writer, not a civics professor. He's GREAT at what he does. Am I upset at the pitfalls he landed square into? Yes. Am I overtly surprised? No. And do I think this was intentionally malicious, meant to hurt marginalized readers? No, absolutely not. I think he's a writer who's made mistakes, like all of us.

Should we still point out these pitfalls, why they're damaging, and how they could have been avoided? Yes. Absolutely, 100% yes, we should. But don't hate the series or cancel Rick or something because of them. We're all susceptible to our inherent biases, and I think so long as we're actively working to fix them, we'll be ok.