#god. more than three years of jaws theme song..... but after this i will finally be free

[moth--knight]

HEY YOU!! DEAR FRIEND!! ANSWER ALL OF THOSE AO3 WRAP UP QUESTIONS!! (if you want... Lol)

HEY YOU!! I SHALL DEAR FRIEND!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! (under the cut tho cause this is long)

How many words have you written this year?

If my math is correct.....150k words. omg? last year it was 98.7k so I wrote more this year somehow. neat!

2. How many works did you publish this year?

Published 21, but worked on 24 since three of my fics were multichapters that I started last year :)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Hmm....probably a three way tie between superstition, severed, and sunday best. superstition I am proud of for actually attempting to write, since it is a proper multichapter with a plot and everything (lolsies). severed was a delight to write and I am very proud of how well I captured the elden ring character relationships despite being nervous to try. sunday best I am proud of because it was a risk to write in a VERY different fandom than I was used to, and I think I did a pretty ok job!!

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

desert hearts, with 3,429 hits. it is a thousand hits ahead of any of my other works haha. people really liked it ^-^

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

severed and wolves without teeth. neither got a ton of feedback, but I expected them to get none hahaha. so the handful of comments from people were really nice!!! OH and my yellowjackets fic, the world's the same, but something's changing. it got a ton of kudos, way above my average in my main fandom.

6. Favorite title you used

superstition, from the song of the same name by the band The Birthday Massacre. the song fits the fic and its themes perfectly. I also liked but this island's run by sharks, children's bones stuck in their jaws, which is a song lyric from I Love You by Fontaines D.C.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I pull from a lot of random artists, but I think I pulled from Mannequin Pussy more than once this year. such an awesome band, everyone should check them out!!

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Bayonetta/Jeanne <3 same as last year!! it is funny to see my fic count for fandoms because Bayonetta definitely dominates. as she should. teehee.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Rosa/Jeanne, for my fic accelerate. it is such a unique dynamic, and writing a toxic and vindictive Rosa twisting the heart of a stubborn Jeanne was really exciting. Not a pairing I love or would write often haha, but it was the most interesting one I sunk my teeth into this year for sure.

honorary mention to Barbara/Melissa from Abbott Elementary. I always feel intimidated attempting to capture them faithfully in fics, but god I adore their dynamic. shoutout to the many very talented writers in the fandom!!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I don't know, actually. almost all of my oneshots under 4k I wrote in one sitting over the course of an hour or two. I write pretty fast when I have an itch for a small idea. but I will say I wrote A LOT for superstition very quickly. the first five chapters were written before I started posting, and were all written within a month or two.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

definitely whistle lingers inside of your chest. it was a WIP from last year I finally finished after a long period of teeth grinding editing, and honestly I am still not 1000% happy with it. from start to finish it probably took me at least seven months. funny, since it is only 4k lmao.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

*shaky smile* well....................at least 15. ahahahahaha. superstition is obviously my "big project" with a planned 20 chs and might not even get finished next year. right now we are on ch 5, so we shall see. I have a lot of smaller oneshots planned and/or half written. mostly for bayonetta, but I have a few for abbott elementary, bloodborne, portal, and elden ring.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

superstition. right now it is sitting at 25k and I have plans to release another ch before the year is out (hopefully!!). longest not-multichapter was severed, at 13k. shoutout to skelebotanicals for typing up the 90 HANDWRITTEN PAGES of that fic's first draft. a true hero.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

acquired taste, a silly gift fic for skelly. it was a whopping 397 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

superstition !! *crying screaming throwing up* but quite a few of my oneshots will definitely be done in the first few months of the year since those are all in the editing stages already and aren't too long.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

hurt/no comfort, probably. sorry.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

*in balder's voice* ROSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bayonetta Origins gave us some more crumbs about her, so it was a delight exploring various facets of who she is/who she could be. the most fun characters to write are ones that are technically in canon, but essentially become OCs since so little is known about them imho. lolsies.

I also really enjoyed writing Barbara Howard for Abbott Elementary!! she is SO specific and such a delight to crack open.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Malenia and Miquella. huge thank you to Wilmaa for giving me some advice when I was shaping their interactions in severed. and to be honest, Bayonetta herself!! I always find her difficult to capture, despite her being my favorite character. Or maybe that is why she is my favorite....hmm......

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Chell/GLaDOS :D TOXIC ROBOT HUMAN YURI ! ! ! ! !

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

maybe king of silence? I just really enjoyed it. feel good with only a touch of angst.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

I am too lazy to count. A couple hundred, probably. I write for small fandoms, so any interaction is a gift and a joy :)

22. Which work has the most comments?

desert hearts, of course. but I reply to every comment, so my comment count on ao3 is always half of what it says, since the other half is just me haha.

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

till death do us part, with dubhgloinne >:) what does it say about me that my only collab work is a raunchy smut fic published three days into the new year?

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

ya!!!! I wrote gifts for dubhgloinne, XilianX, Wilmaa, and skelebotanicals. I think six in total? I really enjoy writing gift fics, but they always make me nervous. what if the recipient doesn't like it !?!?!?!?!?

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I received three this year, from Wilmaa, Dikhotomia, and TheValaxy. I feel very very very blessed that all of them wrote such wonderful fics and were kind enough to gift them to me......Wilmaa and Dikhotomia enshrined the best parts of desert hearts from their own perspectives, and TheValaxy reawakened my love and need and desire for Knight!AU bayojeanne. THANK YOU MY FRIENDS <3 <3

26. What’s your most common category?

F/F easily (lesbian moment!) but I have enjoyed writing more Gen works this year :)

27. What do you listen to while writing?

whatever music is itching at my skull in the moment. some artists this year I really loved and found motivating include Mannequin Pussy, Florence + The Machine, Rina Sawayama, Atarashii Gakko!!, the Nova Twins, Fontaines D.C, and King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

that is like asking me to pic a favorite child.....guh. maybe accelerate. I really enjoy my weird fucked up AU fics. night, I stand walked to accelerate could run. the morgana/rosa fics were also fun tbh.

but honestly I really loved all of my branching out fics for other fandoms. sunday best + moon river for abbott elementary, severed for elden ring, wolves without teeth for bloodborne.....fond of them all.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

literally anything from severed. I was really proud of the descriptions in that piece.

also, this opening bit from sunday best:

Melissa watches with bright eyes as Ms. Barbara Howard makes her way across the parking lot, smiling politely and greeting every person who crosses her path. The day is overcast, and the ground is still wet from the previous night’s rain shower, but that’s fine, because Barbara herself is brighter and warmer than any sun. She’s radiant in a modest dress the color of fresh cut daffodils, her usual pearls laid carefully about her neck, lips painted in a muted plum. It’s September, and starting to get chilly, but Barbara looks like summer, so much so that Melissa thinks she’d be just fine without the protection of her trusty leather. 

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that I can branch out and write for other fandoms!! I was shocked at how I was able to find the unique voices for a lot of different characters outside of the bayonetta fandom....happy I took risks cause they paid off :) I think I also am surprised as just how much I have written haha. I love writing so much, and it is hard to believe I went so many years NOT writing for pleasure.

[mwagneto]

astaghfirullah i am going to pay to watch an mcu movie this week

[fumingspice]

All The Things She Said

Part: One Two Three

Requests are open and I don’t have a life so knock yourself out with them xo

Pairing: Lana Winters x Reader 

lit the last update so that i cant put off seven wonders any longer. enjoy. mwah

Warnings: one (1) hot and sexy milf, implied smut

It made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and yourIt made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and your date discussing themes, co-ordinations, transport and the apartment you had all planned to book to stay overnight in. You could see it in her when she overheard Heather or Emmett making jokes that you were getting attention after your promposal.

You knew the idea of organised formal events gave her headaches unless she really wanted to go, so frankly you were pretty surprised when you found out she would be one of the teachers chaperoning the dance.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Emmett asked, smothing down a suit he was tryin on. Just a few more days to go until the prom. “I thought you said she broke it off.”

You unfolded your arms and straightened yourself up to read a few dress magazines which were sitting on a stool in the viewing room. “She did,” you replied, looking at different dresses on each page to try and get some sembelnce of what you wanted to wear. 

Emmett looked fantastic in his suit. “Be honest, Y/N. Is she bothering you?”

You shook your head and chuckled. “Gosh, no. Not at all,” you replied. That was true after all, you were keeping up with the prom thing because you knew that it trained Lana’s attention back on you.

“If you say so,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Did you hear that her title got changed? She must have finally signed the divorce papers.”

You were frozen slightly for a moment. The news that Lana had actually signed for divorce after having put it off for years made the entire thing seem real.

And on God you loved the feeling.

“Are you ready to go dress shopping?”

You nodded, a wide grin showing on your face. The three of you strode out to the dress shop. Heather already had her heart set on a specific dress that she had seen months ago. You, on the other hand, had barely given it a second thought.

Manny was insistent on purple, claiming that it was your perfect colour.

It was also the colour of Lana’s bedsheets the first time you’d visited her home.

So, it was decided. A beautiful, vibrant purple dress with a slit that went up your thigh. Strapless. Just how Lana liked it.

The prom was taking place out of town in a hotel built around the ruins of an old castle. Your legs and jaw jittered out of every feeling swirling around your body and mind. The sea of your peers socialising, dancing, not-so discreetly drinking in the lit-up ruins was magical. It was like the essence of whatever parties must have taken place between the old walls of the ballroom came back to life every so often.

You noticed Lana through the corner of your eye wearing a red dress. Her eyes softened as she took you in, noticeably getting distracted from her conversation with another teacher as she raised her eyebrows at you.

You glanced away, making sure not to show her any emotion whatsoever.

When you had walked far enough through the lobby, Lana took your hand and walked slightly faster. There was an empty first-aid suite in the hall, lined with small beds incase guests ever got too drunk or took ill. Weird thing to have.

You danced and sang, drank, and laughed with your friends, swinging from Manny’s arms and pulling him in close. You certainly didn’t just look like friends tonight and it was driving Lana insane.

After what had been hours of stolen glances, longing stares and not so accidental brushes of contact, you finally worked up your nerve to go talk to her when she went behind one of the far-off stone pillars for a cigarette.

“I knew you weren’t going to be able to hold off those all night,” you said. Lana turned in surprise.

“I didn’t think you were going to speak to me tonight,” she replied, taking a deep inhale. “You seemed more than happy with your date.”

You smirked at her ill-attempt to sound irritated.

“Can I bum a cigarette?” You asked. You leant against the pillar on your back so that she couldn’t look away from you again.

Lana chuckled as she passed to you. “I thought you had no interest in smoking.”

You coughed heavily. “I don’t,” you wheezed. “But you look hot as shit when you do it and I wanted another way to keep your attention on me.”

The brunette shook her head. “Your wearing your necklace,” she admired, pulling at her own.

You nodded. “I had to have some symbol of the one I love on me.” Your words left your mouth before you even had time to process it. You muttered a profanity under your breath. “I’m sorry, Lana. I wasn’t thinking-”

Lana didn’t skip a beat in taking your hand and guiding you back into the main building of the hotel without explaining herself.

Your confusion almost continued until Lana opened the door and pulled you into the room. Before you had time to open your mouth and ask what on Earth was going on, she pressed you against the door and kissed you.

With that, it was like a magnet being held back was allowed to swing to its attraction. You clutched your arms over her neck, arching your back so that your bodies met. Lana's lips eloped yours as her hands stayed trained on your back and waist.

How on Earth did your French teacher manage to be the one who touched you and set your soul on fire.

Lana's tongue met with yours, her teeth biting down on your lips then going for your jawline. Tiny blotches appeared under her bites and nips as she guided you towards one of the beds and sat on it with you between your legs.

You tried to keep up with her pace, but in reality, you had never experienced something like this before with Lana. By now you felt like you had kissed her a hundred thousand times, but nothing came quite close to the feeling of having the room set on fire and watching from within the flames.

You felt one of Lana's hands trailing from your belly, over your breasts and resting on your throat in a light squeeze. You broke free from her kiss, your lips visibly swollen. Lana's mouth trailed your neck and jawline.

"I thought we were casual," you breathed, her actions driving into your abdomen.

Lana chuckled breathily. "Oh, baby girl. There's nothing casual about you and I.”

Her answer was satisfied you enough to let her get back to the kissing. For now, at least. You were going to absolutely milk the life out of Lana for having ever suggested that you anything less, but right now you just wanted her to work off her damn jealousy.

“God, Lana,” you spoke between her fiery kisses. “If I knew this is how you were when you were jealous then I would’ve acted up weeks ago.”

Lana chuckled into your skin. “Jesus H. Christ, you have quite the mouth, Y/N.”

Her eyes, dark and glossed, collided with your stare. She had the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen, and you were almost willing to get lost in her warm gaze. Lana pulled your body onto the bed and lent over you.

Lana’s nails scratched lines up your thigh, navigating themselves under your dress to the point that your eyes snapped open and your breath hitched.

“You put a lot of thought into getting this dress, didn’t you?” she asked. “You told me that you hated slit dresses and that you wouldn’t wear one unless you absolutely had to.”

You smirked. “Clever girl,” you whispered, feeling her hand scratch further up your thigh. Her fingers had almost reached between your legs when Lana pulled back.

“You aren’t wearing underwear?” You nodded and got met with Lana’s melodic laugh. “Y/N, you really are something.”

You could hear the music pounding from outside. t.A.T.u’s “All The Things She Said” had always been a song that you had made a mental note about getting railed to, and right now that somewhat looked like your wish was about to come true.

You took Lana’s hand and pushed it closer to your centre, moaning when you felt her fingers cold against you.

Whispers of, “are you sure?” were followed by slow moves being made for the first time as your lover delicately slipped her fingers to where you were desperate for.

She was slow and gentle, drawing low moans from your like a confession. You would’ve been more than happy to lay under Lana and allow her to watch you be completely undone by the delicate touch of her fingers and mouth, and you knew for a fact that there was no way you would be joining you friends in the rented apartment tonight. Eventually, your own hand slid up Lana’s dress and between her thighs. Your joint moans sparked up a weird melody of romance.

“I love you too,” she whispered into your lips as your arm tightened around her when you had both finished. 

“You know, if that’s what’s going to happen every time I say something like that then I’m going to have to say it more often.”

Even now, after the years. The loving, the learning, the fighting and the experience. Proving your sanity to your mom, who eventually approved of your relationship. It was always Lana, and it was always you.

taglist: @sarahp-stan @jumpoffabridge-t @sarahpaulsonsoftie @definitelynot-a-writer @bottom4delia @delias-bitch-craft @creepingwolfberry @thesapphictimelady @goodeday2u @that-fucking-error @saucy-sapphic​

[ahtsumu]

miss me? ; miya atsumu

pairing: miya atsumu x f!reader

synopsis: with you gone, maybe he does need memories.

tag(s): angst, fluff ; warning(s): suggestive themes ; wc: 1.3k

a/n: inspired by the chopnotslop remix of dvsn’s “miss me?” 

“Do ya miss me,” he breathed into the phone, “like I’ve been missin’ you?”

Miya Atsumu was seventeen and a little rough around the edges when you taught him what love was.

He hadn’t meant to get so attached. Hadn’t meant for his eyes to dart to yours after every joke, hadn’t meant to start imagining the feeling of your hand in his, hadn’t meant to second-guess every text to you and you only.

And yet, he did.

With a touch so gentle that he hadn’t felt it at first, you’d somehow carved a space in his life that only you could fill. It left him speechless. Words couldn’t describe the tautness of his cheeks every time you skipped over with his name dangling off your lips, no doubt to be followed by one of your eccentric quips. Words couldn’t explain what it was that made his head turn in search of your face in the hallways.

Luckily, you could.

“I know you like me, y’know?”

Atsumu choked. “What?” he spluttered, watching your face light up across the lunch table. It suddenly felt as if he were completely hollow, save for thuds of his heart echoing through his chest.

“Yeah. You’re not exactly subtle.”

Crossing his arms, he raised his head up in an unconvincing show of bravado. “I dunno what yer––”

“I like you too, y’know?”

The drumming in his chest sped up. “Then, uh, what’re ya gonna do about that?”

A bubbling laugh fell out your mouth–– one that immediately tugged a soft smile across Atsumu’s own lips.

“What are you gonna do?”

You were eighteen and pretty as a summer’s day when Miya Atsumu finally let you into his daydreams.

Sounds from the movie playing on the television faded into the background when his brown eyes found yours. Rough fingers fluttered across your skin like hummingbird wings. His hands were warm. “D’ya know how much I love you?” Atsumu murmured, running an index finger along your jaw.

You cocked your head to the side. “‘Course I do.” He never shied from voicing his adoration for you–– from letting everyone know you were his girl, from reminding you that even though you were the one who forced him to confess his feelings, he was the one who fell first. And that he was still falling.

“S’not what I meant,” he chuckled, grazing his hand against your thigh. You shivered. “Can I show you how much I love ya?”

When Atsumu’s muscled body fell against yours over the twin-sized in his dorm, when he stilled his trembling hands by gripping your waist, when the two of you were down to nothing but the sweat on your skin and maybe even less than that–– you think you saw what he’d wanted to show you.

Love eclosed from its chrysalis: a magnificent golden butterfly.

Miya Atsumu was nineteen and on his way to conquer the world when it fell right into his hands.

Dear Mr. Miya,

  We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to play for the MSBY Black Jackals for the duration of…

He turned to you with wide eyes, arm holding the letter falling to his side. “Y/N…” The words died in his throat as you encased him in a bone-crushing hug and shrieked in pure joy.

“Can ya believe it?” he whispered. “God, it’s happenin’. It’s really happenin’.” Realisation finally setting in, he dropped the letter to the floor and cupped your face, kissing you in a crazed frenzy.

“Thank you,” he breathed against your lips. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…” You laughed, thinking he’d been thanking the V.League.

He hadn’t been, though. It was only because of you that he’d gotten where he was. You, who attended every game no matter how hectic college was. You picked him up when he fell down. Your faith in him was like divine intervention. Often times, he’d wonder how far he would’ve gone if you hadn’t been there to help him every step of the way.

He thought you knew that.

You were twenty-three and on your path to conquer the world when you saw the fork in the road.

“I’m tired,” you whispered with your head in your hands. Atsumu leaned against the wall, still in his practice clothes, an equally worn-out expression on his face. Behind him, the front door shut. It was midnight.

“Same ‘ere. Coach made us––”

“No, ‘Tsumu, I’m tired of missing you even when you’re around.” He straightened his spine, suddenly feeling more alert.

Uneven breaths sent tremours through your body. “I wake up to you already gone. I get a text from you at lunch and when I text back you don’t respond. I come home to an empty apartment. And I go to sleep to you coming back.” The V.League Division 1 Men’s Volleyball Tournament was set to happen in a few months. Atsumu had tasted the bitterness of defeat once already–– he didn’t plan on coming back for seconds.

Paralysed, he could only stand in the living room with his jaw slightly ajar, a blizzard of sentence fragments whirling around in his mind. Each one of them had “I’m sorry” in it. Each one of them also had “but” following right after. How could he apologise for wanting to be the best? How could he apologise for something he wanted to do?

“It’s your passion. What brings purpose to your life. I get that. And I love that you have something you love so much.”

His lungs filled with lead.

“I’d never ask you to give something less than your all. And I know you’d do anything to win the tournament this time. But lately, I’ve been feeling like you aren’t giving us your all. I’m tired of always running after you. Especially with my internship at the firm–– it’s already stressful enough. I can’t handle another four months of this.”

Silence fell over the room.

“Can ya tell me what I can do?” he finally asked, voice strained. “Anythin’. Say it an’ I’ll make it happen.”

Both of you knew he wanted to mean what he said. But this was real life. He was him–– the perfectionist, the strong-willed, the uncompromising–– and you were you. And in many ways, you were like him: equally demanding, equally ambitious, equally unyielding.

“Let me go.”

Miya Atsumu is twenty-four and a little washed up when he calls you for the first time in a year. In said year, he’s dated three models, crashed two sports cars, and won first place at the V.League Division 1 Men’s Volleyball Tournament setting for the MSBY Black Jackals. Not in that particular order. Most people would say that he's on top of the world.

But he's tired. It's not as great as it seems.

You were supposed to have been there as he raised the trophy in the air, finally victorious. You’re supposed to be here, right now, on the left side of his bed, legs intertwined with his, hands running through his hair, humming a song you heard on the radio earlier.

With a thudding heart and his reckless admission hanging in the air, Atsumu stares up at the bedroom ceiling. The hand holding the phone to his ear shakes.

Images from the day you left are still playing in his head. Truthfully, they never fully leave. Sometimes, when he’d found a new pretty thing to distract himself with, your tears would slip beneath his consciousness. When he drove fast enough down the highway with the wind smothering his lungs, the gravity of your retreating steps would lift from his chest. When he was on the court, he could forget you to win. Maybe that’d been the problem.

And then, he hears you inhale on the other side.

“Can I show ya that I’m different from before?” he begged.

[getyouasenju]

Drivers License

Inspired by miss Olivia Rodrigo's "Drivers License"

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Maybe spoilers?? Angst, some suggestive themes, oh and you might not like it lol.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – :

“I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about”

I let out a sigh of relief as the arms around me squeezed tighter as I recalled my day. I was nervous when Lord Sixth had called me to his office. I almost vomited when I stepped and was surrounded by a sea of Jōnin. Then my legs were jelly when he called me forward. The silver headed mans gaze felt like a laser. He paused for a moment before he spoke. “Congratulations (Y/N), you’ve been promoted to a Jōnin!” Giving me his signature closed eyed smile and wave, he giggled at my expression. My jaw was on the floor, a Jōnin. wow. I hear an applause as I turn to see the other Jōnin clapping for me, Lord Sixth stood to offer me my official Jōnin vest. I reach my hands out, bowing my head as I accept the new position.

So, there I was outside with three pairs of arms wrapped around me, squealing. “S-sakura, Hinata, Ino! If you squeeze any tighter I won’t make it on my first mission as a Jōnin. Laughing, they both loosened their grip and let breath. “Sorry (Y/N), We’re just so excited for you!” Ino exclaims. Nodding her head in agreement and clasping her hands together Sakura speaks excitedly to me “Yes! It’s all you spoke about. You worked so hard, I mean you and Shikamaru spent so much time training and going on missions for this!”

Shikamaru.. Everyone got silent as Sakura realized what she said. “I-I.. (Y/N) this is your moment, I didn’t mean to mention him, It ju-” I held my hand up smiling softly “It’s okay Sakura, I know you meant no harm.” I reach out grabbing her hand as she returns my smile. Hinata suddenly rests her hand on my shoulder, grabbing my attention as she spoke in her soft voice, “Celebratory ice cream?” she suggested. I smiled widely “Oh absolutely! Wow, Naruto is lucky I like him, ‘cause if I didn’t I’d steal you for myself!” Launching myself at her we lock arms and lead a giggling Ino and Sakura to our favorite Ice cream shop.

“'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house”

I got my regular cone and sat at the cute table with my friends. Sakura might have brought him up, but believe me- he was already in my head. Ino was telling a story and from the looks on Hinata and Sakura’s faces, it was a good one, but I was long gone from reality now. Should I go tell him about my promotion to Jōnin? I think back to what Sakura said... He spent so much time helping me to be the shinobi I am today. Countless nights of working, training, and helping me on missions so they would be successful. I promised him he would be the first one to know about the promotion... but he was the advisor for the Hokage, he would know already, right? Did he know before I did? My head was getting foggy. I felt my ice cream dripping onto my hand, snapping out my day dream and jumping back into conversation with my friends.

“But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around”

Hugging and waving each other goodbye outside the shop Ino spoke up, “(Y/N), are you sure you don’t want one of us to walk you home like the usual?” I shook my head as I pointed to my vest. “I’m a Jōnin now! I can handle it! Next time though.” I confidently replied. Giving everyone one last squeeze, we wave as we all turn off in our separate ways. Usually I would love to have a walking partner, but I was too busy thinking of one in particular. I sigh to myself, how pathetic could I be?

I walked by my regular route, opting to take the longer way home. I wanted to clear my head, but I couldn't. The memories wouldn’t stop coming to my mind and they were hitting me hard. All of my firsts flashing in my head, all of them were with him. The worst part was that I wouldn’t trade them all for the entire world. Sighing and kicking a rock down the street I looked up at the sky and noticed it was getting darker. I should probably get home soon. Wrapping my arms around myself I slowly came to a stop on the side of the street as I tried to stop myself from sobbing. Thanking god that the streets seemed to be empty tonight. I started to walk, staggering to the side. Grabbing the nearby fence for support I violently rubbed at my eyes trying to stop my tears and ease my breathing.

Hearing a noise behind me, I quickly jumped up to a rooftop. I didn’t want to risk anyone seeing me like this. I was never like this! I felt like my world was crumbling, but how could it be? I had just gotten something I worked my ass off for, the recognization I deserved, I got to share the moment with three of the best friends in the entire fucking world and yet here I was. Crying my eyes out on a rooftop, ways from home because he wasn’t around to share it with me.

I took a seat on the roof and took a deep breath, my memories flooding me as I internally begged myself to stop. I remember the first time he kissed me. It was after he taught me to play Shogi.. and then proceeded completely blindside me and whoop my ass in it the same night. I should’ve seen it coming from the lazy genius. I was pouting the entire night until he suddenly kissed me and told me I looked too cute pouting about something so troublesome. My cheeks get warm as I think about our first time... but then my mind goes to why he’s not here celebrating with me today.

“And you're probably with that blonde girl, Who always made me doubt. She's so much older than me, She's everything I'm insecure about”

I remember the day she came to our village, at least the first day I saw her. He had known her before, they met in the Chūnin exams. I knew at least that much. I was a year below him, I didn’t know him then, but I could tell from the first glance he gave her at the gate. I knew there was more to their story than that. Their gazes lingered far too long on each other for my liking.

I was jealous when she was chosen to go on a mission with him. She was drop dead gorgeous with her sandy blonde hair and shimmering teal eyes, while I was just plain old me. Not to mention she came from a line of Kazekage, along with being a strong Kunoichi and strategist herself. They were more alike in ways I couldn’t compete with, hell I just became a Jōnin today. She had her back to us as Shikamaru kissed me goodbye at the gate that day, looking down at me, smiling and promising to be safe. I returned his stare stroking his cheek one more time. As I watched them walk off together, I knew I was just counting the days left with him.

“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

I was freezing now sitting on that roof, It was fully dark outside now. Wiping my eyes, I thought to myself. “Am I crying for him or myself?” I just felt so withdrawn. I gave him everything, what else was there possibly left of me to ever give someone else? It was all Shikamaru’s, I felt sick to my stomach as my wrapped my arms around myself and jumped down off the rooftop, proceeding to walk towards my home. Maybe taking the long way was a mistake, I seemed to be making a lot of those recently.

“And I know we weren't perfect, But I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine, How you could be so okay now that I'm gone”

By all means we had our differences, but that’s what made us great. He liked to cloud gaze and I liked to take walks. We compromised by taking a walk and then laying down and watching the clouds when were tired. He liked to play Shogi, so I learned even though he beat me every time. He was reserved and I could be as hyper as Naruto somedays. He would say I was a troublesome woman, but that life would be a drag without me. But what is he doing now, huh? is life such drag without me now? When he was the one who left me in the dust? This is just as embarrassing as it is heartbreaking. I bet he was having the time of his life with his lucky lady.

“Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”

I thought back to when he told me he saw a life with me, how much he proclaimed to be in love with me, how he fights his best to come home from every mission for me and laughed. I just laughed to myself. How naive of me, I was just a holding place for Temari. Scoffing and speeding my pace up a bit I look up to see the moon shining brightly that night. Making my way further down the street as a horrid smell hit my nose. Cigarettes..

Then I remembered why I always took the shortcut home. Why I always avoided this route. This was his street. I don’t know what compelled me to go this way. Maybe my mind was subconsciously calling out for him. I was frozen in my spot, arms wrapped around my myself staring back at him. He looked at me, the moon lighting the way, his eyes lingering on the Jōnin vest I was wearing. Flicking the cigarette down on the ground and stepping on it he opens his mouth and calls out to me.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing out here alone?”

But I just turned my back and kept walking. 

“Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...“

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – :

Hello! I did do a little part Part two, you can find it here- “Red Lights”

Yes. I am on Olivia Rodrigo Tiktok. Hope you enjoyed, Didn’t do the full song, decided to cut one verse out :) Also Calculus is kicking my ass!

Masterlist

 Until Next Time! xxo (▰∀◕)ﾉ

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Clouds - Shirakumo Oboro

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder​ Rating: 16+ Words:  5,674 Pairing: Shirakumo Oboro/F!Reader Warnings: Nudity, sexual innuendo, kissing, Oboro has no shame honestly. No spoilers here, I just mention his friends and his quirk a little! AN: Here is my entry for this month’s BNHarem server collab! The theme was Fantasy, so have this Greek Mythology AU where I basically floundered through ancient Greek customs and got to think about EraserCloudMic being best friends and Demigods. I don’t promise that any of this is historically accurate but I did try to get some things right! It’s all in good fun anyway, I just needed some nice fluff and some time to play around with Oboro because I love him a lot. Listen to the song Clouds by Borns pls and thanks. As always, the masterlist to check out everyone else’s stuff is HERE. My masterlist is HERE.

Buy me a Ko-Fi HERE.

--

You’d never experienced a drought this severe before.

The weather had become so unbearably hot. Even your lightest tunic was too much, and you had resorted to wearing as little as possible when you were home, spending as much time as you could in the nearby river to keep cool. 

However, the river seemed to be getting shallower, the lack of rain causing the water source to dry up.

The entirety of the small village that you resided on the outskirts of was in a panic. Crops were drying up, which was affecting people’s livelihood. The agora was nearly barren when you went in to sell the cloth you’d dyed and embroidered, the food stalls empty of the usual grain and barley you would typically find this time of year. 

Most people had taken to making the trek past your house and down to the small temple there, praying to Zeus for rain, hoping that he would smile down upon you and bring good fortune, and maybe a storm cloud or two.

You knew that it was probably fruitless, but you decided that maybe you should leave an offering to appease him. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

Wanting to wait until it was cooler so you didn’t die of heatstroke while you leaned over the boiling water, you waited until the sun went down before you dug out your best fabric and dyed it a pretty blue color. You pricked your fingers with a needle more than once while embroidering the edges with clouds and raindrops, using white thread so it stood out against the cerulean fabric. A few days later, you deemed it ready, attaching pins so the person wearing it could fasten it and folding it gently. You slipped on your sandals and headed out with the garment draped over your arm.

It was late, so no one was around, but you weren’t afraid. The breeze was cold now that it was dark out, making you sigh as you listened to the leaves rustling in the olive trees that lined the path. You hoped Zeus would be pleased with what you’d made. Garments that you’d crafted and sold in the agora were always highly sought after and praised. The attention to detail and the small embroidery work you did on the fabric caused you to get lots of commissions from high-class women who lived in the city. It was something you were good at and took a lot of pride in, so you hoped that he would be impressed by your hard work. 

When you arrived, you noticed there were a lot of offerings waiting just inside the door. You bowed your head and dropped to your knees in front of the statue within, closing your eyes as you placed the folded tunic at Zeus’ stone feet. “Please help us and send some rain. I made this tunic by hand. I hope you like the color. I chose it because it reminds me of the sky.” Whispering, you spoke aloud, feeling kind of silly, but willing to try anything to gain some relief from the sweltering heat.

Finishing the rest of your prayers in silence, you stood up and bowed, hurrying out of the small shrine and back up the path toward your home. When you laid down to sleep that night, you sent up one final prayer, hoping that things would get better when the morning came.

--

You woke up hours later to the sound of thunder. Sitting up in your bed, you felt tears well in your eyes, relief flooding through you. The rain was finally coming!

Briefly, you wondered if your gift had been the one that Zeus had deemed worthy enough to grant your village’s prayers. Swinging your feet off the bed, you dashed from the room, wrenching the front door open and running out into the night, bare feet slapping against the dirt as you made your way down the path towards the temple.

You didn’t know what you expected to find when you arrived. Would all the offerings be gone? Or would it be just as you left it hours before?

Dark clouds were rolling in overhead, and you laughed when you felt the first few drops of rain pelting on the bare skin of your arms as the temple came into view. You slowed to a stop, breathing heavily; the smell of petrichor in the air as water finally touched the dry grass and soil around you. 

Stepping forward, you entered the temple, lingering in the doorway. Zeus’s proud statue stood in the center just as before, offerings still sitting untouched at his feet. They all remained, except for one.

The sky blue tunic you had crafted was missing.

--

It rained for three days straight, the constant onslaught of water on the parched ground, causing puddles to appear in every dip of the landscape around your home. You stayed inside, leaving the windows open to let in the fresh air, breathing deeply as your worries melted away. You were excited to visit the river, hoping the water would be rushing and kissing the edges of the riverbank as it always had before. 

When the fourth day came with clear blue skies and a gentle breeze, you gathered up your towel and set off to the river. You skirted around the slowly drying puddles on the path, your sandals sinking into the soft earth as you made your way to your destination.

You arrived to see the river looked as you had expected, the water back up to its normal height, the current gentle, leaves floating along its surface. You looked around, making sure you were alone before you removed your tunic and laid it across a rock on the riverbank, before slipping into the cold, clear water. Most people from the village didn’t bother to come out here, so you weren’t too worried about being seen skinny dipping, but you always kept your ears open, just in case.

Time passed as you relaxed against the river’s edge, head tipping back to bask in the gentle sunlight filtering through the trees surrounding you. The weather was beautiful and was a welcome change compared to the unbearable sweltering days you’d been living the past few weeks.

A gentle splashing caught your attention, and your head snapped up, eyes scanning the water’s surface, assuming it was a fish. What you weren’t expecting to see was a man a little ways up the river, crouching down with his hand in the water, a serene smile on his face. You didn’t know if he saw you, but you suddenly felt self-conscious, dipping lower and crossing your arms across your chest to hide yourself. The plan had been to keep quiet and wait until he left. But then you saw what he was wearing.

The sky blue tunic was unmistakable.

“Where did you find that tunic?” You called accusingly. You had assumed that the tunic was missing because Zeus enjoyed your gift, and had given yourself credit for pleasing him enough to send the rain. To know that you hadn’t done anything at all, and a thief was the reason that your hard work was missing from the temple, was disheartening.

The man stood, his eyes searching for the source of your voice. When they landed on you, huddled against the side of the river, your head barely visible on the water, he smiled at you brightly. “It was an offering from the temple! Honestly, this is the nicest tunic I’ve had the pleasure of wearing.” He pulled on the bottom of it, pointing to the embroidered clouds. “The detail here is exquisite.”

Huffing, you frowned. “I know. I’m the one who made it.” His eyes lit up, and he opened his mouth to reply, but you interrupted him. “I don’t know who you think you are, but that tunic was made for Zeus. It’s extremely disrespectful to steal something from the gods. You must be crazy if you don’t think he’s going to strike you down with a lightning bolt the moment he finds out what you did.”

The man chuckled, raising his arms and folding them behind his head. You tried not to stare at his tan and muscular legs, or his equally muscular biceps. “You think I’m a thief? I’m offended, sweetheart.”

Blushing at the term of endearment, you shook your head. “Well, that’s the only logical explanation-“

“That’s where you’re wrong.” The man walked closer, and you shrunk back, trying to preserve your modesty. “It was a gift from Zeus himself.”

Your jaw dropped open, eyes wide. You weren’t sure how that was possible, but looking at the man before you now, you realized there was no way that he was mortal. He was too perfect.

Not to mention, his hair was like nothing you’d ever seen before.

It was a beautiful light blue, similar to the fabric draped around his body, fluffy and soft looking even from a distance, and it floated back and up, away from his head on its own.

“You’re a…” Trailing off, you got lost in the blue of his eyes as he stepped closer.

“Demigod.” He dropped his arms and shrugged. “My name’s Oboro.”

You were suddenly reminded of how very naked you were. “Could you, uh, turn around? So I can get dressed?”

Wiggling his eyebrows, Oboro smirked. “You sure? I mean, it’s nothing I’ve never seen before.”

“Ugh, please.” Annoyed, you glared at him. Demigod or not, what a perv.

“Kidding! I’m kidding!” Holding up his hands in defeat, he turned around, chuckling.

You took the opportunity to lift yourself out of the river and hurry over to where you’d left your clothes. You dried off quickly with your towel and wrapped your dress back around your frame.

When you were decent, you cleared your throat. “Thank you, Oboro.” You tugged at the fabric that was clinging to your semi-wet skin uncomfortably, watching as he turned back around and shot you a grin.

“So, you made this thing, huh?” Stepping closer, the man was suddenly towering over you, his smile charming. He reached out and plucked the towel you were still holding from your hand, bringing it up and over your head, his fingers rubbing your scalp as he dried your hair for you.

Speechless, you stuttered. What was he doing? 

The towel lifted, and you watched as Oboro gathered your hair and squeezed out the water that was sitting at the ends of it. “That’s better. So, you going to answer me?’

Blinking up at him again in shock, you watched the laughter dancing in his clear blue eyes, the way his nose crinkled when he smiled, the white bandage across the bridge of it making him look boyish and handsome. You were swooning. You needed to get a hold of yourself. “I...yes. I made it myself. I make clothing to sell in the agora all the time.”

Nodding, he handed your towel back to you. “Zeus is a pretty busy guy, you know? He asked for my help, told me to check into some of his temples to see if anyone needed help. He said if it was something we could do, I could take care of it and help myself to anything left for an offering as a reward.” 

“And you picked my tunic?” You felt a weight lift from your chest at his story.

Grinning, he pushed a piece of your hair off of your forehead. “It matches my eyes; how could I not?” He let his arm fall to his side. “I’m an altruistic guy. I like to help people, so I always jump at the chance when my father asks for my assistance. As soon as I saw that blue fabric, I knew I had to do something. I always say that handmade gifts are much better than jewels or gold because they come from the heart. So I called upon the Nephelae to come and bring some rain.”

You hummed, your face turning pink as you blushed. His innocent touching and compliments had your skin feeling warm. “Thank you, Oboro. I’m glad that it was well-received.” Clearing your throat, you glanced up at him through your lashes. “If you like it, I could make you another.”

“You’d do that?” He always seemed to be smiling, and you briefly hoped you’d never have to see him frown, knowing it would look out of place on his face. “I couldn’t ask-“

“I’m offering! I want to, honestly. You did so much for us with just that little bit of rain. I feel like that one tunic isn’t enough to show my gratitude.” 

It was his turn to blush, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip. “Okay. Only if you want to.”

“Great!” You clapped your hands together. “Do you have anything you want specifically? I have lots of different fabric to choose from, and I can dye it any color you’d like.”

“Surprise me.” He winked, lifting his hand to poke the end of your nose playfully. “You know, when I saw that thing, I figured an old lady must have made it. Didn’t think a beautiful woman like you would have done it.”

Scoffing, you folded your arms across your chest. “Do you have no shame? Flirting with me, and you don’t even know my name.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I like you, you’ve got guts. What’s your name then, sweetheart?”

“It’s Y/N.”

—

After Oboro left you at the edge of the river, promising to come back and see you in a few days, you went home and sifted through the piles of fabric you had collected, trying to find something that you thought would be fitting for the handsome Demigod.

The original tunic you’d made was linen, and since it was still early in the summer, you surmised that it would be best to stick with that fabric. Your other choices were wool or silk, and neither would do well in the hot weather. 

You worked on dying the fabric a dark grey, the color of the sky before a storm. This time you embroidered the edges with golden bolts of lightning and white stars. You were very proud of it when it was finished, thinking it looked as lovely, if not better, than the one you’d left in the temple.

A few days later, you were outside tending to your garden when you heard footsteps approaching behind you. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” 

The timbre of his voice made you shiver as you stood and turned to meet him. “Morning, Oboro! You’re here just in time!”

“Finished already?” His eyebrow raised. “Did you even sleep?”

Rolling your eyes, you smiled at him. “Of course! I slept some.”

Shaking his head, he stepped towards you, ruffling the hair on your head. “Don’t lose sleep on my account, okay? I can wait as long as I have to.”

You wished this man would stop making you blush so much. “Okay, fine. It won’t happen again. Would you like some wine?”

“Why would I say no to that?” He chuckled, following you into your small home, sitting at the table when you pointed to the chair, watching as you flitted around the kitchen preparing his drink.

“What have you been up to? Helping out your father?” You asked conversationally, setting the glass down in front of him.

Humming, he picked up the glass and took a sip. “A little. I spent some time with my friends mostly. I don’t get to see them too often since they’re always so busy.”

“Oh? Are your friends Demigods too?”

He hummed, sipping his wine again. “Shouta is the son of Hypnos, god of sleep. Hizashi is the son of Apollo, god of music.”

“Wow. I’ve never met anyone important like that. Well, besides you.” 

He snorted. “We’re not important, our fathers are. We’re just regular people.”

“Except you’re half god and incredibly handsome.” Huffing, you blushed, realizing what you said.

“You think I’m handsome?” His cheeky grin was too much to look at, so you turned away. 

Changing the subject seemed like the best option for your sanity. “Let me show you what I made for you.” 

He didn’t push it, which surprised you, but also made you feel grateful. You didn’t want to think about the man any more than you already had been. He was funny and kind and gorgeous, but he was also a flirt and a Demigod, and you really didn’t know what to make of all of that. You realized that some people might think the way you acted with him was disrespectful, but he was just a person like he’d pointed out. Mostly.

You walked over to your work table and unfolded the tunic, turning around and holding it out towards him. “I was trying to keep with the sky theme. What do you think?”

Oboro stood up from the table, leaving his wine glass behind. He stared at the fabric, taking it into his hands, his fingers tracing the embroidery. When he looked up at you, his face was filled with wonder. “Are you sure you’re not magic?”

You blinked at him. “What? Why?”

“This is amazing, Y/N. Truly. Thank you.” Grinning, he handed it back to you, his hands moving to the pins keeping his tunic fastened around his body.

“Oboro, what are you doing?”

The pins opening let the fabric around him fall free. “Trying it on.” 

You covered your eyes with your hand as he pulled the garment off his body, resisting the urge to peek through your fingers when you caught a glimpse of his chiseled abs and the swell of his pectorals as you heard his clothing fall to the floor. He took the tunic from your hand, taking his time pinning the fabric at his shoulders and under his arms. 

“How do I look?”

Removing your hand away from your red face, you moved forward, redoing the pin at his shoulder to sit straight. Stepping back, you walked around him. “It’s missing something.” 

He looked at you curiously, his brow furrowed. “What?”

You looked puzzled, finger tapping your chin before your face suddenly brightened in recognition. “I’ve got it!” You scurried away to your work area, coming back with a golden colored braided cord. 

Oboro watched as you reached around him, passing the rope between your hands. He lifted his arms as you tied it around his waist, cinching the fabric a bit and moving back to look over him again. “Perfect.”

His arms dropped, his head tilted down as he looked over the fabric again. Teeth pressed against his bottom lip, he looked up at you. “Another masterpiece, Y/N. I’m going to look better than all the gods in Olympus when I visit my father later.”

You shook your head, laughing. “Oh please, I’m not that great, Oboro.”

He huffed, stepping forward and surprising you when he wrapped his arms around you in a hug. “Just accept the compliment, would you?”

Hesitantly, your arms moved around him to return the gesture, your voice horse as you replied. “Okay.”

—

Oboro became a permanent fixture in your life after that. He appeared nearly every day, treating you to picnics and taking you for walks through the forests and down to the river. You looked forward to seeing him, his face the last thing you thought of before you fell asleep, and the first thing you imagined when you woke up. You were in too deep.

It rained more often, but it was welcome after the hell of drought you’d been through earlier that month. The weather didn’t stop Oboro from visiting, his strong arms dragging you out into the storm so you could watch the dark clouds above roll past. He made you laugh, his bright smile infectious as he carved himself a place in your heart.

You didn’t know what this was. Did he like you more than just a friend? He was a flirt, but you assumed he was like that with everyone. You weren’t sure if you should read into it any deeper, but there was a big part of you that wanted him to want you just as much as you found yourself wanting him. 

He was gentle and kind, going out of his way to help the people in the village when he visited, hefting large bags of grain in the agora. He never hesitated or asked for anything in return, and it made your heart flutter. The old ladies would stop you to tell you how wonderful he was, that he was a keeper, and whenever you tried to open your mouth and correct them, he would grin over at you and wink, and you’d lose the ability to speak. 

When he showed you the power bestowed upon him by his father, you couldn’t help but giggle. He waved his hands around, creating a cloud out of the air’s moisture and pushed it towards you. “They can’t do much but float around, but if I make one big enough, I can sit on it and ride it where I need to go.”

“You aren’t able to make them do anything else?” You poked at the cloud, watching as it broke apart and drifted away. 

“No, but they’re fun to look at.” He made another one shaped like a bird. “What do you think?”

“I think they look like your hair.” You teased, watching it float up above your heads. 

He starting making another one, bigger than the ones before. “Come on.” He brought it down low, sitting on it and crossing his legs underneath him. “Want to go for a ride?”

You shook your head, frightened at the thought. “No way, that’s too scary.”

“Come on!” He held out his hand. “I can show you the world this way.”

His smile was disarming, and you felt yourself stepping forward before you knew it. “You better not let me fall.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll keep you safe.”

--

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He asked, kicking his feet in the water. 

You were sitting side by side on the riverbank, leaning back and basking in the afternoon sun. “Mm, probably this?” You opened one eye and looked over at him. “Why?”

He shrugged. “My father wants to meet you.”

You sat up so fast you almost flung yourself into the river, Oboro’s hand grabbing onto your arm the only reason you didn’t fall in. “Excuse me?”

Snorting, he let go of you and rested his palms on the grass beside him again. “He wants to meet the woman who made the outfit I wore to dinner a few weeks ago. Remember, I said I was going to show up everyone in Olympus?”

Nodding, you shut your jaw, which had been hanging open since he’d told you his father, also known as Zeus, the god of the sky and thunder, the king of the gods, wanted to meet /you/.

“Well, Aphrodite commented on it, and then father asked who made it, so I told him about you. Will you come?”

You swallowed thickly, trying to find your voice. How could you say no? Could you refuse to meet Zeus if he asked you to? “I…”

His arm moved around your shoulder, pulling your closer. “Don’t be nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous? Are you kidding me? I know he’s your father, but to me, he’s a god.” You sputtered, feeling yourself shake at the thought of being face to face with him. 

“Well, I mean, I’m half-god, and you’re not nervous around me.”

You decided not to point out that he made you incredibly nervous. You were just good at hiding it. You pressed on instead. “What do I even say to him? What do I even wear?”

He burst out laughing, throwing his head back. “What do you wear? Clothes would be a start, Y/N.”

“I hate you, have I mentioned that before?”

--

You barely slept that night, your thoughts racing as you went over scenarios in your head, trying to imagine what it was going to be like when you were face to face with the king of the gods. For some reason, you were worried that he wouldn’t like you. You weren’t sure why it mattered so much to you. You tried to push the little voice in the back of your head away when it started pointing out how you were probably worried because of how you felt about Oboro.

It was ridiculous to fight it anymore. You knew you liked him. You weren’t sure what to do with that information, but there it was. And now you were going to meet his father. 

Oboro came to get you after breakfast, his cheerful smile falling when he saw your face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You look like you haven’t slept.”

You laughed. “I haven’t.” Rubbing your eyes tiredly, you sighed. “I’m just worried I’m going to make a fool of myself.”

Shaking his head, Oboro pulled you into a hug. “You’re not going to make a fool of yourself. You’re going to be fine. He’s not as scary as you seem to think. Plus, I’ll be right there with you. You don’t have to be afraid.”

Letting yourself melt into him, you buried your face into his chest. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m probably just making things worse.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine.” You felt his fingers tangle in your hair, his chin leaning on the top of your head before he pulled away. “Come on, let’s go. He’s going to meet us at the temple.”

“Do I look alright?” You stepped back from him and looked down at the dress you’d made; the fabric dyed a deep burgundy. 

Oboro didn’t say anything at first, making you doubt yourself, your head falling forward to gaze at the sandals on your feet. 

“No, you don’t look alright.” He said finally.

Eyebrows furrowed, your head snapped up to look at him. “What?”

He was grinning widely at you, holding out his hand to take yours. “You look beautiful.”

Your entire face felt like it was on fire when you realized what he said, your expression melting into a small smile. He wrapped his hand around yours and tugged you towards the door, his eyes crinkled merrily, trying not to laugh at his trick. He was such a lousy flirt, but his compliment made you feel better, even if you didn’t think he meant it.

--

Zeus was waiting inside the temple when you arrived, gazing up at the statue of himself with his hands folded behind him. “Sometimes, these things don’t look anything like me, but I’d say this is a pretty accurate one, don’t you think?”

When he turned around to face you, you had to agree. The statue looked just like him. “Y-yes, sir.” Bowing your head, you brought your hands in front of you and pressed them together. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Zeus laughed, stepping forward. “You don’t have to do that, though I appreciate it.” You looked up at him, meeting blue eyes the same color as his son’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I’ve heard so many things about you. Oboro talks of you often.” He took one of your hands in his and kissed the back of it, his gaze moving to the man beside you. “You weren’t kidding when you told me she was beautiful, son.”

Your cheeks turned pink as you turned to look at Oboro, his face tinted red with embarrassment. “Father, please.”

“Please what? She’s beautiful and talented as well.” He turned back to you. “Oboro’s tunic was all anyone could talk about at dinner a few weeks ago. Aphrodite was impressed, and that’s not an easy feat to accomplish.”

“Thank you, Zeus. I’m humbled. I never thought what I did was anything extraordinary.”

“Nonsense! Quality work like that should be appreciated.” You heard Oboro telling you to accept a compliment in the back of your head, so you just smiled and nodded. ”Oboro showed me the blue tunic you made as well, and I would like to ask a favor of you.” 

“Anything, sir.” You felt your heartbeat quicken in anticipation, relaxing minutely when you felt Oboro place his hand on your shoulder and squeeze.

“I would like for you to make something for me. I know that the first tunic was originally an offering for me, but I think it better suits Oboro. I can give you whatever materials you desire. Color and pattern don’t matter to me; I just want something like what you’ve done for my son. Do you think you could do that?”

Your mouth worked without a sound coming out, your brain trying to process what was happening. Zeus wanted you to make clothing for him. “Yes, of course! I would be happy to.”

“Wonderful.” Zeus clapped his hands together and smiled kindly at you. “You’ll be paid for your work, of course. Anything you need, you let my son know, and he’ll get it for you.” He turned to the man beside you, a severe look on his face. “Don’t be a fool, Oboro.”

“Father, what do you-”

“You know what I mean. Have some courage.” He put a hand on his son’s shoulder and squeezed before turning and nodding back at you. “I hope we meet again soon, Y/N.” 

Before you could say goodbye, a clap of thunder sounded in the temple, causing the ground to shake slightly, and he was gone.

--

You weren’t sure how you made it back to your house, your thoughts elsewhere as you tried to imagine what you could make for Zeus that would impress him.

Oboro was uncharacteristically quiet beside you on the entire walk, his mind obviously elsewhere as well.

“You okay?” You asked him, cocking your head to the side as he stood in the doorway to your home, his shoulder resting on the frame.

He nodded, smiling at you. “Never better.”

Not believing him for a second, you pressed on. “Did your father say something that’s bothering you?” He looked away, his eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t have to tell me, you know. I’m just worried about you.”

His eyes met yours again. “You’re worried about me?”

“You always have a smile on your face, no matter what, so seeing you without one is a little worrisome.” You stepped towards him, craning your head back to look up into his eyes. “You can talk to me if you want. I won’t judge you too hard, I promise.”

Oboro huffed a laugh through his nose. “You’re funny.” His fingers traced along your jaw as he stood up straight, gazing down at you. “You want to know what he was talking about?”

Nodding, you swallowed thickly, feeling the mood in the room shift, the tension between the two of you was palpable. 

“He was telling me not to be a fool about you.”

Blinking, you tried to focus on the feeling on his fingers on your face, moving down to your neck. “About me?”

Humming, his thumb brushed across your chin, moving up to tug on your bottom lip. “He knows how much I like you. He just doesn’t want me to miss my opportunity.”

Eyes wide, you stared at him, not sure what to say, more content to watch him and see what he would do next.

“Ever since I saw you at the river that day, your face is all I can think about when I’m not with you. Spending time with you is all I want to do. I would be content to sit there and drink wine and watch you sew all day, just because I get to be with you.” He chuckled under his breath. “Shouta and Hizashi are tired of me going on about it. Well, Shouta is always tired, so that’s nothing new.” He pushed your hair behind your ear with his other hand. “They all just wanted me to tell you how I feel.” 

You closed your eyes briefly, breathing in deeply. You let your hands rest on his chest, smoothing the fabric of his clothes beneath your fingers. “I like you too, Oboro. A lot.”

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping in pitch and volume when he spoke. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

You felt his breath on your face, and you closed your eyes again when his lips met yours. Letting yourself melt against him, your hands slid up and over his shoulders. He kept his warm palm against your neck, his other hand moving to your waist to pull your body flush against him. He smelled like petrichor and sunshine, and though you were used to the smell because of all the time you spent with him, somehow it was different when he was kissing you, making your knees weak and your heart pound against your ribcage like it was trying to break free. You sighed when you felt his tongue press against your lips, your mouth opening to deepen the kiss, inhaling through your nose, not wanting to let the moment end.

When it did, your chest was heaving as you sucked in air, but you were still pressed against him, your fingers toying with the hair by the nape of his neck.

He looked down at you, his eyes bright and his lips twisted into a smile. “You okay?”

“Better than okay.” You were still out of breath, but you returned his bright smile. 

“Good.” He leaned down to kiss you again, but this time the kiss was chaste and left you chasing his mouth for more. He chuckled. “Come on, let’s have some lunch, and then I think you should take a well-deserved nap. I know you’re exhausted.”

Humming in agreement, you took a step back, your hand moving to cup his cheek. “Alright. You’re going to stay, right?”

His smile got impossibly bigger. “Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.”

[candy-and-writing]

What A Triple Lutz Can Do

Dark! Bucky x Ice Skater! Reader x Dark! Steve

Summary: Steve and Bucky have found each other again, after everything they've been through. When Steve meets you at the Winter Olympics, he decides you're the perfect little doll for their plan.

Warnings: non con/dub con, stalking, drugging, kidnapping, male masturbation, pet names—kitten, oral sex (female and male), fingering, poly relationship (m/m/f), somnophilia, light bondage, more to be added as the story goes on

A/N: This is loosely based off @henchry​ post about Chris Evans dating an ice skater. I read it and instantly had this idea, I’ve just never posted it. I think I unintentionally used bunny by @buckybarney​ as inspiration in making final edits. They also helped me figure out how to make this moodboard, so thank you! Please let me know if you enjoyed this, I had a lot of fun writing this!

I am NOT responsible for your media content consumption. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and/or dark themes. By reading this work you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work posted on any third party app or website; if you are seeing this work anywhere other than tumblr and archiveofourown, it has been reposted without my permission.

Before the war, before Bucky had fallen off the train and Steve crashed into the ice, before the Avengers and before and the world made Steve Rogers harder—colder—he liked to call himself a hopeless romantic. He wanted to meet eyes with someone across a diner and feel the fireworks explode in his chest. He wanted to buy a girl flowers, he wanted to walk down the streets of Brooklyn while it was snowing with her hand warming his. He wanted to buy his girl a ring, he wanted to get married, have a family.

He thought he would get that with Peggy, but he missed his chance. When he woke up in another century, he thought for sure he would never get his happily ever after. The women today were so. . . brash. A lady was supposed to be kind, polite, and dutiful. He understood that times were different, but that shouldn't excuse the ungrateful attitudes.

Then he found Bucky again, and the crazy world he had been forced into didn't seem so hopeless anymore. 

Tony had received a call from the International Olympics Committee, formally inviting the Avengers to the Winter Olympics. They were in Italy this year, Milan and Cortina. It was the first Olympic Games to be held in two cities, according to Bruce.

The committee had asked Steve to conduct the medal presentations for ice skating and hockey. They wanted Thor to carry the torch for the opening ceremony, but he was off-world and unavailable.

So here Steve was, sitting in the Mediolanum Forum venue next to Sam so he could watch the ice skating events. He figured if he was going to be giving the winners their medals, he should see why they won.

The committee had given the team access to front row seating, and that's where he was when you came out.

You were the third skater, and the first American representative, to take the ice. Your hair was pulled into a braided braid low on the side of your head with a blue flower pinned above the bun. The little dress you wore was modest—the same shade of blue that matched your flower and a sleeveless neckline that connected to a sheer fabric for sleeves and a higher neck, the little flowy skirt stopping in the middle of your thigh. Lines of little jewels dipped along your bust, beads varying in size. You had makeup on, like all the previous girls, but yours was light and glittery—save for the ruby red lipstick, but even that looked classical on you. It reminded Steve of the makeup women would wear back in the thirties.

He was so focused on you that Sam had to elbow him in the ribs to get his attention. He shut his jaw then, listening to the way your name rolled off the commentator's tongue, the syllables lining and matching each other perfectly.

You were twenty-one, and this was your first time competing in the Olympics. You've competed in other national and international tournaments, and you've done good in them if he was understanding correctly. It made an odd sense of pride swell in his chest. You were skating to Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

You moved to the middle of the rink as the announcer informed the stadium who conducted and performed your piece. You had four quads set in your routine, two in the first half and two in the second. It got quiet in the arena as you raised your arm over your head and arched your back like a ballerina. Steve counted five seconds before the music started and you spun around slowly. You started to move your body and—

Oh. Oh.

Steve was sure his jaw had dropped to the floor. The way you moved was bewitching, beautifully languid yet articulate. It was like the music moved through you, coursing through your veins as you made it entirely your own, bringing something so utterly delicate and ethereal out of the melody. You made it show in your body, in your movements.

The first of your quads were coming up, something called a quadruple lutz. Steve didn't know what it was, but when you threw your leg back and jumped, spinning in the air before landing and the crowd erupted into applause, he figured you did it correctly.

Your feet glided across the ice as you skated backward, your muscles tensing—you were preparing for your next quad. You kicked your leg back and used it as momentum to jump, spinning and landing what the commentator called a quadruple flip. The crowd cheered again.

Your expression—the raw focus and determination hiding behind your eyes—was gorgeous. Your crimson lips were parted slightly, eyelids hooded as you brought your head up. The delicate expression, the way your shoulders tensed as you jumped and spun in the air once, twice, three times before you landed gracefully on your toes had the breath leaving his lungs.

It was art. You were a work of art. So beautiful he wanted to lock you behind a glass cage and put you on display. You commanded the ice as if you controlled it, with such a degree of intricacy that Steve thought if you jumped high enough or spun fast enough you would grow wings and fly away.

You were in your element. You kicked your foot back before bringing it forward, using it to start your jump. You spun in the air and landed on one foot, your other leg spread out and leading the twirl you used to end the jump. The stadium cheered, Sam said something about a triple axel.

Steve wished the song lasted forever, wished he could watch you forever, but soon there was a flute trilling and you slowed, circling back to the center of the rink and just like that—your performance was over. The crowd exploded into cheers, throwing flowers, stuffed toys, anything they had in their pockets.

You broke into a smile, your plump lips parting and bringing out your dimples. Steve swooned as you waved to the crowd, bending to pick up a rose. Your gaze met his, and he swore he felt fireworks erupt in his chest. You smiled at him before skating off the ice, hugging a man sporting a red lightweight jacket with the USA logo embroidered on the sleeve, his dark hair slicked back. Steve watched as you smiled at him, not missing the way he stared at your ass as you turned away.

Then, suddenly, you were in first place. Your eyes went wide and you jumped up, hugging the man in the red jacket—Steve assumed he was your coach. He heard your squeal above the rest of the cheers.

Even from where he was sitting, your eyes were bright, brighter than your smile. Steve was proud of you, pride swelled in his chest as he watched you speak with a reporter. His eyes stayed glued to you as you shook hands with the reporter, your coach walking you to the locker rooms. He watched you until he couldn't anymore.

A strange desire pulled at his heart as he pulled his Stark Pad out, looking you in F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s database.

--

After watching your performance every other skater seemed dull, incomparable, to you. The judges must have thought so, too. You stayed in first place, winning the competition.

According to F.R.I.D.A.Y, you grew up in Chicago, but you moved to Manhattan for college. You got a new coach, Adrian Tucker, who was a gold and silver medalist back in the nineties. You're a junior at NYU, majoring in Art History. You have an Instagram, some sort of social media Peter had been trying to convince him to get, and Steve created an account immediately just to follow you. You had pictures of yourself, of friends, of the rink, even a pair of ballet shoes.

So you did ballet, good to know.

The award ceremony couldn't come soon enough. The idea of being closer to you sent butterflies fluttering through his stomach. Ever since he had gotten him back, Steve and Bucky have been talking about settling down—creating a life with a girl and starting a family. But they haven't found the right partner, but maybe. . . ?

When he stood in front of you, he swore he almost stopped breathing. You were gorgeous. Your hair had been taken out of the bun, cascading down your shoulders in loose waves. Your makeup was still done the same, but he noticed light freckles dotting along the bridge of your nose. Your eyes sparkled up at him—good God, you barely stood past his chest—your painted lips parted in a smile as you took him in. He placed the gold medal around your neck, congratulating you. You whispered a small, "thank you, Captain," and Steve felt a spark of electricity jolt down his groin.

Your voice was light, melodic, quiet. You were respectful, something he valued in people, in women. He could almost imagine you posed as the perfect housewife. With the perfect husband—or husbands—with the white picket fence, the kids. He could imagine your belly swollen, the little children running around calling you 'mama'. You were young, right at that age where women would start becoming wives and mothers back in his day. The thought only made his cock harder as he watched you on the platform, waving to the audience with the biggest smile on your face.

As he sat back down next to Sam, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He pulled up Bucky's contact and sent him a picture from your Instagram.

'I think I found her,' he typed.

--

Bucky remembered the first time he realized he was in love with Steve—he was sixteen. He had danced around with plenty of girls already but none of them ever really seemed to stick. He had saved up enough money to spend Steve's birthday at Coney Island, that was the day he made Steve ride the Cyclone, back when he was still skinny. He had bought Steve a hotdog, which a pelican attacked him over. Bucky was crying from laughter, face red and stomach aching, when he looked over at Steve. Something just clicked then.

The past couple of months, Steve and Bucky had been making plans to add a third partner into life. After all this time, fighting Nazis and being mind-controlled and saving the universe time and time again, they both agreed they deserved it—that they deserved a family. They had both been selfless for so long, was it so wrong to want someone to be selfless for them? To want someone soft that could share their love?

Steve and Bucky were great together—the love of each other's lives, in fact—but they shared an overwhelming need to dominate, to control. On and off the field. When they fucked they were ruthless, full of scraping nails and biting teeth. Fingertips that left bruises that lasted for days. They needed someone else, someone they could focus that control on, someone who could take them so gently and lovingly, a way they rarely took each other.

Then he got Steve's text. You were young, and it wasn't hard to find out almost everything he needed to know about you. Steve helped him use F.R.I.D.A.Y to figure out where you live—a small apartment that was close to your college campus. You could walk to class if the weather permitted it. It also wasn't too far from the ice rink you trained at. It was easy for Bucky to find a building across from your suite where they could watch you. You liked to keep your window open, let the sunlight in.

They took turns sitting on the roof of the neighboring building, looking through a pair of binoculars. They would watch you for hours—watch you do simple things like reading. That was Bucky's favorite, the way your lips moved ever so slightly as you read the words on the page. You enjoyed reading horror novels—Steven King, Mary Downing Hahn, an author named Chuck Palahnuik. A worn copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein sat on your bookshelf. At first glance, Bucky never would have pegged you as a horror kind of girl, you were too sweet and too timid. As he continued to watch you through the cameras Steve had him install, though, he saw that you very much liked psychological thrillers. You would watch a show on YouTube about true crime and haunted locations, a couple of amateurs who didn't quite know what they were doing. They were funny, though. Steve and Bucky would watch you laugh as you stared at your phone, smiling to yourself.

You trained at a ballet studio in lower Manhattan, worked out at a gym a block away from that. They were quick to memorize your routine once they started. You'd wake up at five-thirty every morning and make yourself some breakfast. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday's you hit the gym and the studio; you'd go to whatever classes you had that day, grab a coffee at the campus cafe, then head to the skating rink for two hours. Two and a half hours max. You went home, studied, and then you were left to your own devices. Sometimes you read, sometimes you baked and God, Bucky almost couldn't stop drooling at the thought of tasting your cooking. You'd watch television in your small living room and be in bed no later than eleven o'clock every night to start your day again.

One Monday morning, Steve and had followed you to the gym. They'd been doing that the last few weeks. At first, Steve reasoned it was so they could watch over you, in case you got into some trouble. Some mornings they planned on running into you on the sidewalk, pretending it was an accident—there was a flower cart along your route you liked to stop and admire, sometimes buying a bouquet of daisies for your little bachelor pad—but the timing never seemed right. Steve was never wearing the right shirt, or Bucky's hair was always a mess from the wind.

You took a cab, which Steve followed a couple of cars behind on his motorcycle. The air was brisk, the first signs of spring coming into the city. Some of the trees had started growing their leaves again, vibrant greens against the grey winter sky. He parked his bike underneath a plotted tree that had just started to turn, the tips of the leaves a bright green as blossoms began to bloom, pastel pinks against vibrant greens with petals blowing in the wind. He bought a newspaper from a vendor a couple of stores down and sat on a nearby bench, catching up with the world as he counted down the minutes. You would be in there for an hour and fifteen minutes almost exactly.

Steve almost couldn't sit still. He was itching to get his hands on you, to feel you. He and Bucky have been watching you for a long time now, waiting for the right moment to get their hands on you. Steve was growing impatient.

At forty-five minutes, his eyes began to flick up at the building every few minutes. He knew it wasn't time yet, but there was always a chance you got done early.

At an hour, his gaze hovered just above the paper. Ten more minutes, he told himself.

At an hour and twelve minutes, you emerged. Steve watched as you hugged your coat to your chest and began walking. The studio you danced at was only a block away, so you wouldn't have to be out in the cold for long. Still, Steve couldn't help but chastise you for not wearing something warmer. All you had on were a pair of thin leggings—that hugged your ass beautifully, he might add—and a compression tank top under your lightweight sweater.

Steve rushed to his bike, folding the newspaper in his hand and revving up the engine. He drove down the block, parking in front of a cafe across from the ballet studio. He watched you enter the studio and sat at a table, ordering a cup of coffee. He saw you through the floor-to-ceiling windows, your let stretched up over your head. He reached for his sketchbook and pencil, laying it out on the table before him.

The night of the Olympics, the first time after Steve had seen you, he stayed up all night drawing you. He found a video of your performance on the internet, watching it on repeat as he drew you in different positions. The first sketch he did was of you with your arm over your head, just before you started skating. He found he loved drawing the shape of your lips, so the next sketch was a portrait of your face. Your long lashes were hooded, eyes downcast and your lips parted slightly as the pencil scratched against the paper, your plump lips etched in charcoal. The expression Steve caught you in was oddly ethereal, the kind of innocence that Steve found absolutely breathtaking.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Steve sighed, pulling the device out of his jeans. Cursing, he reread the message Sam sent, looking back up across the street. You were still in front of the window, leg propped up on a bar with your upper body reaching for your foot. He sighed, closing his sketchbook as he stomped toward his bike.

--

Steve and Bucky trudged back into the Compound, exhausted and irritated. Not only have they been unable to see you for a week and a half, forced to watch you through the cameras hidden throughout your apartment, but the mission had been a complete bust. They had been sent away to Northern Peru, where Fury had given them intel about a group of HYDRA smugglers shipping illegal weapons into the country. Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky spent twelve days in a cramped, boiling building across from the target's warehouse and managed to find nothing before Fury called them back.

Steve was sweaty, Bucky hadn't taken a shower in a week, and they missed you. Bucky wanted to touch you, he wanted to kiss you until you were breathless. He watched you on his phone when he could, often opting to watch the camera feed than to sleep.

Once they were in their suite, Steve stripped his uniform off, leaving it in a heap on the floor to pick up later. Right now he just wanted to feel clean. He turned the shower on and peeled his boxers off as Bucky undressed, Steve stepping below the showerhead. The warm water felt nice against his taut muscles, his shoulders relaxing under the water pressure. He watched the dirt and grime from the mission get washed away, down the drain in muddy-grey color.

As he massaged shampoo through his hair, his thoughts wandered back to you, fingers itching to run against your skin. The way your lips always looked so soft, how utterly delicious you would look with them wrapped around his cock. The sweet little noises you would make as he forced himself down your throat—you were so small, it wouldn't take much to make you choke on him.

Steve groaned as his fist wrapped around his length. Almost two weeks without imagining you on your knees, imagining your mouth on him and he was oh so sensitive. He cursed, running his thumb over his slit. He pictured your tongue dragging against his girth, your wrecked expression as you struggled to take him deeper, as Bucky struggled to fit himself in behind you. He fisted himself faster, gasping out your name.

"Yeah, baby," he mumbled to himself. "Just like that. Fuck."

He could only imagine how beautiful you would look when you came. Your skin sweaty, hips bucking, your innocent little eyes rolling to the back of your head as you squealed. Oh, you were definitely a squealer. They would make you cum over and over and—

He bit back a moan as he came, hot white spurts coating his stomach as he slowed his movements, nerves on fire. He sighed, rinsing himself off before he turned the water off. He was still hard, he wasn't sure he'd be able to get himself off.

The tips of his fingers buzzed as he redressed himself and Bucky hopped in the shower. Steve didn't know if it was the stress of the mission or the adrenaline you gave him, but he couldn't wait anymore. He didn't have the patience to wait anymore.

He was watching the camera feeds in your apartment when Bucky came out of the bathroom. All it took was one look from Steve—they already had it all planned out, they just had to put it into motion.

--

You struggled to unlock your door, twisting the key in the lock a few times, cursing as you pushed your shoulder against the door, stumbling as the door swung open. You managed to catch yourself before knocking over your vase of daisies, straightening as you waited for your world to stop spinning.

You knew it had been a bad idea when you agreed to go out tonight. You're such a lightweight and after just three shots and half a glass of wine, you're going to have a killer hangover in the morning. God, and it's three a.m. But Annie had begged you to come with them. You haven't hung out with her in so long, you were desperate to see her again. You just wished she hadn't dragged you out to a bar.

You dropped your handbag on your little dining room table, opening the refrigerator to pour yourself a glass of orange juice. You drank half the glass in a couple of gulps, letting out a sigh as you set the glass down. As you moved to pull your phone out of your purse, you heard the floorboards creak, like someone was taking a step.

You froze, looking down the hall. The boards in your bedroom creak like that when you step down on a certain spot, but you've been in the apartment long enough to learn where it is exactly and step around it.

As quietly as you could, you made your way down the hall, checking the bathroom. You've seen enough horror movies in your life to know never to close the shower curtain when you weren't using it, so with a quick glance you knew the room was empty.

Your bedroom was at the end of the hall, the door cracked open. You walked in, carefully looking around. Your closet door was open, the windows were closed, you turned and looked towards your dresser mirror and—

You saw the figure behind you before you could react. Your eyes went wide, their hand coming up to cover your mouth before you could muster a scream. Your hands flew up to the hand, legs kicking out as the intruder dragged you out of your bedroom. You screamed into the hand, thrashing as you felt a sharp prick in your neck.

"It's alright," they cooed. "Shhh, it's okay, doll. You're just gonna go to sleep for a little while, okay?"

You shook your head frantically, tears streaming down your face as you felt your body getting tired. You blinked furiously, trying to fight the sleepy feeling. Your muscles felt like dead weight, you stopped kicking your feet as your grip on the man's cold hand went slack.

"That's a good girl," he crooned. "Just relax, kitten. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. Your vision blurred, and then everything went black.

[collecting-stories]

The Beach Day - ep. 02 - JJ Maybank

Summary: It’s the second day of s’week and your group decides to hit up the beach. Issues before and after put a  damper on the vacation but the events of the day might just bring you and JJ closer together. 

The S’week Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

///

“Beach day bitches!” JJ shouted, footsteps thudding down the steps as he entered the kitchen. Sarah was slumped over the island, scrolling mindlessly through her instagram feed while you sat across from her on your computer. 

“How’re you not hung over?” Sarah asked, turning just enough to glare at her boyfriend’s best friend. 

“Cause I didn’t drink my body weight in four locos?” JJ shrugged.

“You say as you down a natty for breakfast,” you mentioned, watching him stand in the doorway of the refrigerator as he drank. 

Sarah and John B had joined you on the beach the night before where Sarah had gotten absolutely cooked because she ‘couldn’t deal with JJ’ while she was sober. While the three of you split a case of Pabst, Sarah had accumulated as many blue four locos as she could find and proceeded to drink until John B had to carry her back to your house. 

“I need a shower and like three more hours of sleep before I even think about the beach.” Sarah mentioned, coming back around to JJ’s original idea. 

“Is the point of s’week not to go to the beach?” 

“And I will JJ, when I’m not practically dead. I came down here for some ginger ale, sorry I’m not standing at the door ready to go.” Sarah snapped, sitting up enough to glare at JJ. 

“You guys are super fun to vacation with clearly,” you cut in, closing your laptop, “I have to go to the market before we hit the beach so...do you wanna come JJ?” 

You figured the best plan of action you could possibly have for this vacation, especially after yesterday, was to keep JJ and Sarah away from each other. If they could survive five days without murdering each other in the house it would only be because they didn’t spend any time together sober. Which seemed fine with both of them. 

Sarah got off the island stool, taking her phone and leaving the half empty can of ginger ale as she went back upstairs to find her boyfriend. Possibly to take the shower she claimed she needed but probably just to wake up John B and complain about JJ’s attitude all over again. 

“Morning,” Pope passed Sarah on the stairs, coming into the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle, “what’s with her?”

“Hang over,” you replied, “If you and Kie want to wait to go to the beach, I’m just running to the market with JJ and then we can all go?” 

“Yeah sure,” Pope nodded in agreement as you excused yourself to get changed. When you were out of the kitchen Pope turned his attention to JJ, who was rummaging through cabinets for something to eat. “I thought you ‘didn’t want to spend senior week with a bunch of fucking kooks’?” 

JJ paused in his search, looking back over his shoulder at Pope, schooling his expression into one of indifference. “Keep your enemies close Pope.” He replied, “and if they wanna buy you some free food then fucking let ‘em.” 

“You know, she does seem nice.” Pope reasoned. He knew his friend well enough to pick up on tells. JJ could pretend like he wasn’t as easily swayed by a cute girl but truth of the matter was that he was looking for the same thing John B and Pope had seemed to obtain. Someone in their lives a little closer than a friend. 

“Don’t try to make it something it’s not.” JJ replied, grabbing a bag of Frozen themed graham crackers and shutting the cabinet. 

You came down the stairs at the same moment, changed into different clothes to go out. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

JJ sat with his feet up on the dash, black scuffed boots leaving dirty prints on the glove compartment of your ‘88 land cruiser. He fiddled with his phone the whole time, switching between playlists as you drove. You’d given him the aux cord willingly, knowing that Kiara has good taste in music from the years at the academy with her and assuming her friends were the same way. 

“This car isn’t very kook of you,” JJ mentioned as he plugged his phone in, noting the old tape deck adapter that the cord plugged into. 

“I think you’re obsessed with that word.” You replied. 

“What? Kook?” 

“Yeah...is it possible for you to not say it for the next four and a half days?” You asked, looking over at him briefly as you stopped at a red light. 

“Of course it is.” 

“Okay, it’s a bet then.” 

“What do I get if I win?” He asked switching to another song when one he didn’t care for came on. 

“You can decide when you win.” You replied, “also, to ease your concern for my car, my dad’s not really into all that ‘kook’ shit. My grandparents are, hence the keys house but my dad tries not to flash his money.” 

“I’ve never met a k-never met anybody on the Eight that doesn’t.” JJ replied. 

“Well I think it was established yesterday that we should get to know each other more.” 

The Winn-Dixie you took him to was a little further away than necessary but it was your favorite, a little less updated, it reminded you of coming down in the summers as a kid. 

JJ was out of the car the second you pulled into a spot, grinning as he looked toward the entrance. There in the front of the store, between the set of sliding glass doors, was a mechanical horse that looked straight out of the 80’s. “I’m getting on that before we leave.” 

“I think you’ll break it.”

“I think you’ll break it.” He snarked back and you couldn’t help but laugh as you followed him inside. 

-

“Hey!” 

You turned in the frozen food aisle when you heard someone call your name. Kelce waved as he walked over, pushing a half-cart of food. 

“Hey, Kelce.” You greeted, shouldering the door to the Ben and Jerry’s display. “How’s the rental?”

“Pretty sweet. Heard you got Sarah and her friends at your place?” He replied, gaze shifting passed you as he spotted JJ at the top of the aisle. “Scarlett saw you two at the party last night. She told Rafe.”

You looked back as the blond approached, smiling at him before turning back to Kelce, “Scarlett can tell Rafe whatever the fuck she wants. I don’t really care. My life is none of his business.”  

JJ came up beside you, missing the entirety of the conversation, putting an arm over your shoulder for the sake of Kelce, while he dropped some orange juice in the cart. Kelce looked both of you over, an expression of annoyance and contempt marring his features. He wasn’t a big fan of Rafe but he would defend a fellow kook, especially a friend of Topper’s, over you any day. You flew under the radar when you hung out with them, and they tolerated you because your family had more money than most, but you were far from the typical kook.  

“I better get going.” Kelce finally said, shifting his cart to walk passed you, “make sure you  check all your silverware before they leave.”

Before he could pass you completely JJ’s hand grabbed the end of his cart and he stepped in front of Kelce. “What’d you say?”

“I swear to god, if you two make a scene right now-” You groaned, annoyed as it was that Kelce had brought up your ex-boyfriend or the fact that they were in creeping distance of your house. And now he was being an asshole to JJ.

“Hey, I’m just stating a fact.” Kelce said, grinning, “you got sticky fingers just like your old man-”

JJ shoved Kelce’s cart back, pushing it into him stepping closer. You grabbed JJ’s arm to stop him from doing any more damage. You didn’t honestly know anything about his family life or him other than what you were learning as you went along but what Kelce said had clearly struck a cord. JJ looked back at you, jaw tense but eyes softer than they had been when he was looking at Kelce.  

“It isn’t worth it, don’t let Kelce being a douche ruin the day.” You said, glancing over at the kook in the aisle. “Let’s just go.”  

“Fine. Lets go.” JJ grabbed the handles of your cart and twisted it around, heading back the way he had first come down.  

“Hey, in the future try to keep your dog leashed.” Kelce commented.  

“What the fuck did you just say?” JJ shouted, leaving the cart and coming back down the aisle. You darted in front of him, putting your hands on his chest to stop him from completely plowing passed you and pounding on Kelce in the middle of the Winn Dixie.  

“You heard me, fucking pogue.”

“I swear to god, say one more thing and I’ll fucking rip your throat out!” JJ threatened though he kept his anger in check enough that he didn’t push you.  

“Hey, no!” You snapped before turning back to where Kelce was still standing, looking smug, “Kelce, fucking leave.”

“See you guys around.”

“Like hell!” JJ shouted after him. Once Kelce was far enough away JJ backed away from you and ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself down. “I fucking hate those guys, I swear to god, they’re all fucking douches!”

“I’m not arguing with you JJ, I’m just saying it’s not worth it to push them, especially not in the middle of a fucking grocery store.” You sighed. “Lets just go okay...we can head back and go to the beach.”

“I gotta cool down...” JJ said, trailing off. He still felt like he wanted to punch something and Kelce was well gone by now.  

You stepped over to the refrigerator door closest to him and opened it, jokingly swishing it back and forth like you were fanning him. “Does this help?”

“I hate you.”  

-

The rest of the grocery trip went without a hitch, JJ falling back into a more easy-going persona as he walked the length of the Winn-Dixie with you. Without quarters neither of you got the opportunity to ride the mechanical horse though you promised to come back later in the week with him. When you got back from the store Sarah was already on the back patio, beach bag ready to go.  

“They almost left without us.” Kiara mentioned as she helped you unload the car.  

“Why am I not surprised?” You loved Sarah but she was single minded and currently, for the last few years, the object of her attention had been John B. It was fine when he wasn’t around but now her main focus was him and spending senior week with him and sunbathing.  

Able to wait long enough for you to come home from the grocery store but not long enough for you to actually unload the groceries, Sarah and John B headed down to the beach while you were still getting changed into your bathing suit. With them gone it just left you, JJ, Kiara, and Pope to head down the beach together though you didn’t mind.  

Even though it was senior week the beach wasn’t too crowded, the four of you setting up a little closer to the water. Pope helped Kiara with the umbrella while you set up the blankets, watching JJ pull his shirt off and kick off his sandals.

“Do you have sunscreen on?”

“JJ never wears sunscreen.” Pope said, looking over at his best friend.  

“You should be down here. The sun is more intense down here.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I've ever heard.” JJ replied, putting his sunglasses back on.

“Are you kidding me?” You asked, looking up at him like he was crazy. You knew from passed experience that the sun in Florida was a nightmare and could only imagine his pale skin burning in the summer sun.  

“You should put sunscreen on Jay, seriously.”  Kiara said, offering him hers.  

“Nope.” He shook his head and you rolled your eyes at him.  

“Don’t come crying to me when you burn.”  

You and Kiara headed down to the water almost as soon as everything was set up. As you neared the edge of the water JJ ran up behind you, grabbing you around the waist and lifting you into the air. You screamed in surprise, Kiara and Pope laughing as JJ carried you into the ocean and threw you into the water. When you surfaced, you jumped him, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist and sending him falling back into the current.  

“Guys!” Kiara shouted when JJ accidentally backed into her trying to grab you again when you ran away from him.  

“Sorry!” You laughed, running behind Pope and holding him in front of you.  

“No! I’m not getting in this!” Pope said though he was laughing as he tried to move away from you.  

“Get over here!” JJ reached for you, just missing and falling into the water. While he was under, he grabbed your ankle, dragging you under as he surfaced. You screamed again as you fell into the water, coming up and sputtering saltwater as you tried to catch your breath.  

“JJ!” Kiara smacked his arm as she swam over to you, rubbing your back as you shook your head.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” You swore, voice hoarse. When you looked up from the water your eyes met JJ’s and you smiled, splashing water toward him.  

You stayed close to JJ throughout the afternoon, offering him sunscreen a few more times though he continued to claim that he ‘didn’t burn’ and that he was perfectly fine in the sun. When he and Pope went further out to jump waves you headed back up the beach with Kiara to sunbathe.  

-

“I don’t think you should go,” you said, standing in the door of the bathroom as JJ stood in front of the mirror, inspecting the harsh red burn that covered the entirety of his back and shoulders and part of his arms. You had been right about the sun in Florida and he had learned that the hard way.  

“I’ll be fine.” JJ replied though he sounded a little apprehensive. “All I need is some aloe and I’m good as new.”

“Okay,” you bit your lip, knowing that it was a bad idea to let him go to the party but also knowing that there was no way he was going to listen to you. He hadn’t listened to you in the market and he definitely hadn’t listened to you about putting on sunscreen so there was no reason for him to listen now.  

The party was down the street from your grandparents' house and you cut through the beach to get there, carrying your shoes as you walked beside JJ. You knew his back was bothering him by the way he kept twitching but you said nothing. The party the night before had been nothing compared to this one which was clear as you walked into the house.  

“Finally, a good fucking party.” JJ announced, scoping out the place.

“He says on the second night of the entire week.” Pope commented, rolling his eyes.  

Kiara pulled him off to dance while John B and JJ went to find refreshments. Sarah stayed by you, hovering a little too close, and you frowned as you began to catch on to her motive. “I don’t even know if they’re here.”

“If my brother and Topper heard that there was a party anywhere near their place and didn’t decide that they definitely had to come? Yeah, I’m sure they’re having a quiet night in playing scrabble.”  

“I didn’t mean they wouldn’t be here I just meant I’m perfectly capable of dealing with your brother Sarah.”

“Except every time you see him you’re so cringe it’s unbearable.”

“I am not!”

“How many times have you gotten back together with him? Because the second he even looks your way you totally turn to jello and do whatever he wants.” Sarah pointed out.  

You crossed your arms over your chest, looking around the party and suddenly feeling like you wanted nothing more than to leave. “Look, it’s over. For real this time. I don’t want anything to do with him and I’m not just saying that.”

“Good, I hope not. JJ and I don’t always get along but he’s John B’s best friend and I don’t wanna see him get hurt or anything.” Sarah commented.

“What are you even talking about Sarah? JJ and I are barely friends. Just because we hung out today doesn’t mean we won’t go back to our usual kook v pogue shit when we get back to North Carolina.” You replied, “I’m getting a drink.”

You pushed through the crowd to the kitchen, grabbing a seltzer and heading down the hall for somewhere quiet. Sarah had sucked the party right out of you and honestly all you wanted to do was walk home and forget the whole night had even begun. You knew she was right, you had fallen back into Rafe’s charm more times than you could count but this time you swore things were going to be different. They had to be. You couldn’t keep putting yourself in that situation. And speak of the devil, you had just grabbed the doorknob on the bathroom when you heard the familiar voice call your name.  

You turned around to see Rafe standing there in the hallway, beer in hand and grin on his face. “Topper and Kelce said you were down here...I was starting to think they were seeing things.”  

“Did it occur to you that I didn’t want to see you?” You asked, turning your face away from him and looking back down the hall.  

“Oh come on, you’re not still mad about your grad party are you?” He asked, stepping closer to you.

“Am I still mad that you showed up to my graduation party high off your ass and embarrassed me in front of my entire family. And then on top of that I had to catch you with my cousin?” You said, holding your ground. You hadn’t been lying to Sarah when you said that the last time was the last time you were doing this.

“Babe-”

“Don’t babe me Rafe, I made it perfectly clear I wanted nothing to do with any of you. Why are you even here? Aren’t you a little old to be hanging out on senior week.”

You watched the tic of his jaw as it tensed, “I came to see you and convince you to give me another shot babe. What happened was a mistake.”

“You sound like Topper, desperate and pathetic.”  

Before you could get away Rafe grabbed your wrist pulling you closer to him. “I won’t give up.” He said, leaning forward and kissing you while you were trapped between him and the wall. He reeked of alcohol and you pushed at him, trying to shove him away from you. He wouldn’t let up, hands holding your wrists and pushing you harder against the wall.  

“Rafe!” Someone shouted and his concentration broke long enough for you to push him away and duck into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you and locked it, leaning your head against the wood and taking a deep breath. Trying to steady your heart beat as the sound of the bass from the music thumped gently in rhythm with the pounding.  

You heard the familiar gag of someone about to throw up and turned just in time to see JJ throw his head almost into the toilet bowl as he vomited. His whole body seemed to convulse and as he fell back against the tub you realized he was sweating.  

“JJ!”

He groaned but said nothing to you, leaning forward into his lap. You came over, kneeling onto the ground beside him and carefully reaching for the hem of his shirt. “Can I take this off?” You asked, “I want to get some aloe on your back to cool you down.”

“I’m not even drunk, what the fuck.” He groaned, letting you take the cut-off shirt off of him. You got up and grabbed some aloe from the cabinet before coming back and sitting between him and the bathtub. He leaned closer to the toilet, waiting to throw up again.

“I think you have sun poisoning Jay,” you said, watching him shiver as the first of the aloe hit his shoulders and neck. “I’m sorry.”

“Tally this as another fucking terrible part of the trip.”  

“When you’re feeling up to it, can we try walking back to mine? You might be more comfortable there, where there isn’t a massive party happening.” You reasoned.  

He nodded. There was a long pause as you worked aloe into his back, cooling him down significantly, before he finally spoke up again, “are you okay? Why’d you come in the bathroom?”

“Saw someone I didn’t wanna see.”  

“Kelce?” He joked. A second later he was kneeling up on his knees so that he could throw up into the toilet and you were holding his hips to steady him as he leaned over the toilet.

“It’s okay.” You comforted when you realized the quiet noises, he was making were whimpers from the feeling the vomiting was causing. “You’re gonna be okay.” When he fell back onto his butt again you rubbed his back carefully, adding a little more aloe. “We need to get you some water too, sun poisoning can dehydrate you.”  

As you took care of JJ any thoughts of Rafe where pushed to the back of your mind. You knew it was only the second night and you had the rest of the week to survive, and he was was nothing if not persistent, but you couldn’t worry about what he wanted or what he would do when JJ was taking up all your attention. Not for the same reason he had on the beach today but still, you didn’t mind focusing on him for a while.

-

taglist: @pixelated-pogues @booksandshish @lopineapples @ponyboys-sunsets @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @howdyherron @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @tragicmisfits @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @jjsthumbring @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @louisolos @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @finecelle @vitaminekabc @tiredfeels @g4bster @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @poguestyleskye @ssprayberrythings @pensysto @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @lavenderxraindrops @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @thelonewolfdies @hvitost @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @spencer-reid-is-a-cutie @mirjanak @kwjune @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @siwiecola @regev1408 @celestialmaybank @mybnkjj @averagxfangirl @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @99sxuxii @oh-annaa @katiaw2 @aiifandomsunite @marteenuhh08 @x-lulu @kitkat0609 @ceruleanjj @yoxsh06 @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @justkeepdreamingswift @allie-mcginn @jjmaybankswife @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @poguesnobx @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @jolomez @timotaychalabae @babycakes00 

[sun-spice]

@themagnuswriters is apparently doing a fic appreciation thing? Have I got that right? I've been busy as fuck lately so I haven't had the energy to properly appreciate the stuff I've been reading, but I do happen to have an old rec list in my drafts that I'd forgotten about. If I have the time I might do another one with some more recent stuff and maybe an additional nsfw reclist :)

List under the cut, word counts and completion statuses are probably out of date.

the sword of damocles by penhaligon | post-160 apocalypse averted, hurt/comfort | 89k, ongoing, T | minor JonMartin

Summary: Martin interrupts Jonah's ritual. That doesn't mean their problems are solved.

Jon, Martin and Basira set off to deal with Jonah once and for all after the ritual is interrupted. To make matters worse for them, however, the Fears now know of said ritual and are each determined to pull it off themselves. Stunning prose in this one, I love how penhaligon builds up small moments of suspense.

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where there's a will, we will make a way by bubonickitten | S4 time travel fix-it | 107k, ongoing, T | minor JonMartin

Summary: Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Late series time travel fix-it with communication between the characters. Some development on minor characters as well, which I love, and lots of relatable hard conversations <3

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An Cailleach agus an Fear Sidhe by Drowsy_Salamander | urban fantasy, fae au, witchcraft | 30k, ongoing, T | JonMartin, Martin & Sasha & Tim

Martin moves to join a witch coven consisting of Tim and Sasha. The three of them have to pick up the slack protecting their town, previously lacking witch presence, from the fair folk. Meanwhile there are people in the town who know more than they're letting on.

Loving the dynamic between Martin, Sasha and Tim so far. The exposition and worldbuilding is well delivered and the beginnings of a mystery start to drag you in. What do Jon, Daisy and Basira have to do with everything? What is Jane Prentiss hoping to achieve?

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A Home For What Loves You by TheWrongShop | canon divergence, hurt/comfort, slow burn romance | 66k, ongoing, T | JonMartin

Summary: Jon and Martin end up investigating Carlos Vittery's basement and finding the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss together.

Jon and Martin are trapped together in Martin's apartment band later have to live together in the archives. Communication? Among archive staff? More likely than you think.

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What Once Was Mine by dieanywhereelse | reverse time travel fix-it, dramatic comedy, safehouse fic | 29k, ongoing, T | S1 Polychives, JonMartin, found family

Summary: The Scottish Safe house gets a few visitors from the past. Jon and Martin get a chance to set things right.

In which future Jon and Martin are actually somewhat well adjusted after averting the apocalypse and dealing with Jonah. They get an opportunity to help past versions of themselves and their dead friends to get where they are with (hopefully) less pain. Love this au a whole bunch, it's one of my all-time faves! Really well thought-out with some great character dynamics and some adjusted monster!Jon.

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Moth Song by Siarven | time travel fix-it, dimension hopping, hurt/comfort, found family | 76k, ongoing, M | minor JonMartin

Jon accidentally travels into the S1 of an alternate universe and tries to set things right. He's a mess, and has a breakdown, but he talks with his friends and together they start to work it out.

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I'd Be Under the Sea but You Hold Me Above by Write_as_Rain | mer au, hurt/comfort, fast burn romance | 14k, completed, T | JonMartin

Summary: As a fisherman working under Captain Lukas, Martin has learned to keep his head down and fade into the mist. He does his work, walks further down the path Peter has laid before him, and if members of the crew occasionally disappear, Martin has learned not to ask about them. Has learned to stop caring at all.

At least until the crew pull up something strange and wonderful and impossible, tangled in one of the fishing nets. Something that Peter means ill.

No, Martin doesn't... care. But maybe he can save it. Maybe they can save each other.

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A Few Small Repairs by Mad_Maudlin, shipwreckblue | canon divergence | 138k, completed, M | minor JonMartin

Gertrude shot first, killing Elias and all of the staff of the Magnus Institute who where in the building that day. Jon somehow survives and is taken in by Gertrude, Gerry and Mary at Pinhole Books.

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Meanwhile, Martin, Sasha and Tim are some of the surviving staff trying to pick up the pieces after the strange 'fire'. But wasn't Gertrude supposed to be dead? What is up with this new Institute director?

the garden of forking paths by bibliocratic | post post-apocalypse, time travel, dimension hopping, angst with a happy ending | 50k, completed, T | JonMartin, minor found family

Summary: Whatever he had predicted might happen, Jon wasn't expecting to survive upon demolishing the Panopticon. He certainly wasn't expecting to be rescued.

Instead, he wakes up in an alternative universe where he's never been the Archivist, and Martin Blackwood doesn't exist.

Martin Blackwood wakes up somewhere else entirely.

Poignant and bittersweet but with a happy ending. Really well written!

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youth dipped in folly by evanescent_jasmine | pre-canon divergence(?), bittersweet | 27k, completed, M | GerryOliver

Summary: In 2012, Oliver meets Gerard Keay and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can finally save somebody.

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He’s wrong.

A Reel for the Watcher by RedCytosine | period drama (early 1900s), fae au | 50k, ongoing, M | JonMartin, minor found family

Summary: Martin Blackwood, in need of employment and out of options, takes a clerical position in Scotland at Castle Magnus, working for the enigmatic Lord Elias Bouchard. He expects it to be glorified paper-shuffling, but what he finds instead is much more sinister. What secrets lurk in the castle library? Who plays the wild music that haunts his dreams? And why does a strange horse wander the lakeshore each morning at dawn?

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TFW you wake up from a long nap and have no idea where you are by forgetfulmachine | time travel fix-it, fluff, found family | 33k, ongoing, G

Summary: Jon gets sent back to mid season one in the middle of his coma. Tim, Sasha, and Martin help him through his emotions and stopping the Unknowing. There's a lot of fluff along the way.

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Thistle and Weeds by ajkal2 | time travel hurt/comfort, disability | 6k, ongoing, M

Excerpt: “Jon,” Martin says. “Are you alright?”

Jon’s head lifts, turns toward the sound. He’s shaking. His teeth are bared, a flash of white against his dark skin, but it’s not a smile. There’s something- His eyes, they don’t look right-

His mouth opens, jaw trembling, and he says “Martin?” The bright overhead lights gleam off the blood pouring down his face. His eyes are black, empty sockets.

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for a firmament by supaslim | two works | canon divergence, transformation horror, recovery | 31k, completed, T

Series summary: There is beauty in destruction. There is art in becoming.

In which Jon becomes the Archive, and the Archive becomes Jon.

Wonderful monster!Jon with some amazing body horror and mental illness recovery themes. Moved me to tears!

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A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit | time-travel, fluff and angst, pre-canon | 22k, ongoing, T | Jon & Original Elias

Excerpt: “I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

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Seen, Unseen, Unsung by bluejayblueskies | character undeath, canon divergence, memory loss, End!Tim | 50k, ongoing, M | JonMarTim, Tim & Danny & Sasha

Summary: Tim wakes up from the Unknowing with a blank slate where the Institute had been, Danny sitting at his bedside, and a man with too many eyes haunting his dreams.

[leapingtitan]

The Final Season - Episode 1 Thoughts

I've watched the first episode around 3 times on my own and over a dozen times from anime-only live reactions on YouTube. Those are always something to have a field day with every season, and are part of the whole enjoyment post-watching the episode on your own.

Obviously I'm only reviewing this based on the first episode, so it's way too early to judge The Final Season as a whole. However, I will say that my strategy to keep my expectations low definitely worked. I was very hyped, don't get me wrong, but after Season 3 Part 2, I realized that production and scheduling has never been this show's strong suite and things behind the scenes were always chaotic. And it was my mistake to realize it this late and have unrealistically high expectations of the manga's adaptation.

But enough about that. I'm just gonna say it right now. I absolutely loved this episode and was completely blown away by it. It was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish and boy, the staff wasn't kidding when they said the first episode was like a movie. It definitely felt like that, and it went by in a flash. Now, on to the individual points.

Story/Adaptation

Flawless. Everything was executed perfectly and went beyond my expectations. The thing that stood out to me the most was how many things were changed from the PV in terms of scene construction, camera angles, and overall storyboards. There was only one shot that we reused from the PV, namely the one with Zeke and Reiner inside the airship where they're referred to as the spear and shield. Everything else was redone, which was a huge surprise. Wit was always very faithful to the original manga panels with how they used them as a big reference for most of their cuts, but this one changes them up a lot. Personally, I am 100% fine with it and as someone who has read these chapters in the manga dozens of times over the past few years, seeing them like this was a pleasant and very welcome surprise.

The anime-only additions here are notable and also quite welcome. Falco's line in the beginning in particular stood out the most in the long-run, but the addition of the Eldians' terror being shown as well as the scene before the ED was very welcome. I would like to assume that this was Isayama's doing as whenever the anime usually adds/changes up things, it's his request to do so. He sort of considers the anime to be the "definitive" version of the story that he, for one reason or another, couldn't do in the manga himself when that particular chapter came out. Season 3 Part 1 (The Uprising Arc) is a prime example for this. Once again, I'm very content with what was done here and I trust MAPPA will do the story justice.

A small but very neat thing is the fact that we got to keep the title cards and the info eyecatches mid-episode. Really added to the whole sense of consistency.

Animation

When the initial trailer came out, many people were concerned about Shigeki Asakawa (Director of Photography)'s odd and excessive usage of blur filters on top of the scenes and were wondering if they would remain in the final product, given her track record with other shows like The God of Highschool. Luckily, that is not the case here as the scenes look very clean and the minimal blur on top adds a bit to the muddy/gritty atmosphere of what's going on. Personally, I don't mind it at all and I barely notice it anyway. MAPPA's biggest strength to me is the usage of effects like blood and explosions. You feel the impact of everything and with such an action-packed episode, it made everything so much better.

The usage of 3D CGI for the Titan Shifters has been the biggest controversy surrounding this first episode. When I first watched it, it didn't bother me at all. Personally I care more about a model fitting in the action sequence rather than how it looks for the most part. Right now I would say I'm neutral. It's not the greatest CG ever conceived in anime but it definitely does not look out of place and is pretty decent. For the Jaw Titan, I couldn't tell what was CG and what wasn't for the most part. For the other Titans it's more obvious, but it's not too jarring. Obviously, if it was up to me and the production committee/NHK didn't push their scheduling shenanigans onto MAPPA, I would have gotten every Titan in 2D, but you can't have everything. If they choose to focus on more important scenes later on and cut corners in this first episode as a result, that's understandable. I can live with it. And again, even then, it's not that bad in my eyes.

Now, the character designs are just absolutely stellar. In multiple interviews, it’s been stated that they wanted to stay true to Kyoji Asano’s designs at Wit while also being consistent with Isayama’s style in the manga. And boy did they absolutely nail it. It’s exactly what as they said. Tomohiro Kishi could not have done a better job with the characters we’ve seen so far and I am beyond impressed with his work. I look forward to seeing the rest of the characters in this arc.

Sound

I've been following Kohta Yamamoto's works for a few years now, ever since he started working with Sawano (and being mentored by him to an extent) in early 2017. Although he's been involved with AoT before, particularly with the character songs in Season 2, whenever those two would collaborate on a project it would usually be because Sawano is too busy to compose a full soundtrack. So what usually happens is, Sawano does one track and variations of it (think ShingekiNoKyojin, ThanksAT and T-KT), and nothing else. Meanwhile, Yamamoto handles the rest of the music for the show. On top of that, Yamamoto's style as a composer is different from Sawano's as he comes from a rock/guitarist background as opposed to Sawano, who is a pianist and is classically trained. My biggest concern for The Final Season was that we would get a similar case as with the other shows where Sawano doesn't put in too much effort, while Yamamoto essentially becomes the main composer. Although it looks like this is in fact the case after this first episode, let me explain why I don't think it's a bad thing.

After the premiere of the first episode, both Sawano and Yamamoto tweeted that it was in fact Yamamoto who is handling the majority of the Marley Arc's music. And after this first episode, I have to say I'm impressed. His initial track that he made for the PV was a bit off-putting to me because it sounded like every epic blockbuster Hollywood trailer background track ever, but after the way it was used in this episode alongside a few other tracks, I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. It fits what's going on, and overall delivers a fresh sound to the show that is very appropriate given the massive change in narrative. Back during S3 Part 1, Sawano stated in an interview that he was already burned out and had trouble coming up with new music for AoT given how many tracks he had already composed for it. Given how few new melodies were in S3 Part 2;s music, I think this should be clear. Especially now that we're going into yet another season. To summarize, I think Yamamoto's work here is a result of three conditions that just happened to line up perfectly. The change in narrative, which the new composer style reflects. Sawano being busy. And Sawano being burned out with AoT. Now personally I still believe we're going to get at least one new original Sawano track with variations of it for the big climax moments this arc, and he may compose more music for the 2nd half of this 16-episode season, since that's technically a new arc. But we'll see. As a whole though, I'm satisfied with what I've heard from Kohta Yamamoto in this first episode.

The last point to make in regards to the sound is Masafumi Mima who, apart from Sawano, the voice cast, and some freelancers, is the only one from the previous seasons' staff members to return here. And once again, his work here is absolutely phenomenal. The mixing and usage of sound effects in this episode was stellar and truly felt like I was watching a war movie. It enhanced the action tenfold and I could not want it any better. Music usage is something that goes through the director (Yuichiro Hayashi), but ultimately the sound director is the one who implements the track (instrument layering/stem editing) and does the mixing. The usage of Kohta Yamamoto's music here was very well done, and although the track from the PV repeated quite a bit, it didn't get repetitive at all. Also, the sound director remaining consistent here means we got to keep things like the titan transformation sound effects, which may be a small thing but was very welcome and added to the whole consistency.

Opening/Ending

I'm gonna wait until Shinsei Kamattechan releases the full version of the opening in a single or album to fully judge the song, but boy do I love this opening. Although I'm not sure if the TV-size version is my favorite AoT opening yet, I have to say that it's without a doubt the most fitting OP this show has had until this point. It perfectly showcases the themes of war that this arc focuses on and has this lowkey disturbing eerie vibe with the dissonant chords and mixing of the vocals that feels just as "mysterious" and "tense" as the show itself. I love it so much, honestly. Now, Isayama was a fan of Shinsei Kamattechan prior to them doing the S2 ED, and was the one who got them on-board to do it. Although that song isn't really my thing it's also a perfect fit, which leads me to believe that Isayama himself most likely chose the band again, namely to do this OP. And it's fantastic. I love the song. The visuals also have a very distinct style with all the colors and white backgrounds and I love how it's more metaphorical and symbolic (I guess "abstract" as well?) rather than flat-out just spoiling everything like the last arc's OP did.

The ED by Yuko Ando is fantastic. The first time I listened to the full song on its own I couldn't stop getting chills. Love the production aspects of the song and it's just really nice altogether. The visuals are quite interesting especially towards the end and I also like them a lot. Not much else to say about the ED. It's amazing. Go listen to it.

Conclusion

As a whole, I kept my expectations extremely low prior to the premiere despite my hype. As a result of that, not only were they exceeded, I was absolutely blown away by this first episode in pretty much every way. It may still be too early to judge, but from what has been shown here so far, I am absolutely looking forward to see MAPPA adapt the rest of this amazing story, or about as far as they can get with 16 episodes.

[lokisrare]

yours

PART TWO HERE

pairings: george mackay x ofc

word count: 1.8k

a/n:  this was going to be a smut but then decided to cut that part off lmao, just the teasing, k i’m leaving, bye love you.

Black and white. That was tonight’s theme at this place.

To say she wasn’t a big fan of this place would’ve been a lie, her most remarkable memories happened here; it had kind of a grungy vibe but with all the flashlights and the common dance music, it looked just like other night club.

“Sex on the beach?” The bartman asked. Miles. He was this incredibly tall blonde guy every girl wanted but yet, he was married, and to another extremely beautiful guy with asian features. It’s was like a race, she always thought, who’s the one who looks more like a god.

“Please,” she said looking at the group of girls going for another round of tequila while they all greeted Mary, the girl who she had come with. She just stayed behind to order her usual cocktail before arriving, tequila was just not her thing anymore.

“They’re gonna regret all those rounds tomorrow” Miles laughed a little while finishing her cocktail, “here you go, try not to ruin this for you too or you won’t be able to drink anything.”

She scoffed.

“Beer is always there for me.”

“Touche, Miss. Have a great night!”

Her teenage years where mostly a blur, the nights out and the illegal parties she got into with the five girls sitting a few meters away had their collateral effects, like not being able to even smell tequila and some other alcoholic beverages. Sometimes she’d wonder if a feeling of regret should go along with those memories but no, not even a little bit of shame; teenage years were made to leave freely and to explore and that’s exactly what she did.

“Danna!” A red hair got up from the table and -literally- jumped on her, the pink glittery veil she was wearing making her nose hitch as the girl hugged her, “I’ve missed you a lot, but like, A LOT.”

“Clara, you saw me three days ago.” Danna giggled. Clara was a lightweight but who could blame her, it was her last night as a not-married-woman as she liked to say.

Clara was a young soul and Danna would’ve never imagined she’d be the first one getting married but Kit came into the picture and things changed, he was a good guy and so much like her friend, a made-for-each-other kinda thing.

“Oh, right. But who cares I always miss you, we used to see each other everyday!”

“That was 5 years ago during high school, Clari.” Danna laughed while the red haired shrugged and took her arm turning both of them around.

“Ugh, doesn’t matter! Here are the girls! And those two there are my sisters in law.”

Danna greeted everyone on the table, they talked a little, the typical chat:

How are you?

How’s work?

How’s life, basically. And that was it, then the rounds of vodka started and after a few of them she could already feel a little bit tipsy, laughing about the stupidest thing.

“So, Danna” Lacey asked from across the table, “How’s George? When are we getting another wedding?” she asked and everyone around cheered except for her, of course, as she remembered the events occurred some hours ago.

“You’re acting like a child, Danna!” George shouted from behind as he followed her into the room.

“Acting like a child? I’m just asking for a little respect over here.” She turned on her heels looking at him with a death glare, “I’m fucking aware your job includes some kissing and stuff sometimes and I can take that, what I can’t stand is this stupid ass bitch throwing herself at you every goddamn time, even when I’M THERE. Does she even know you’re taken?”

George looked down at her. The tension was thick enough to cut it with a knife and right then she felt like punching him on his perfect teeth. Asshole.

“She’s 25 years older than me, Danna, and is married, do you really think she’s doing that? Of course you’re being childish, and yes, she knows you’re my girlfriend, everyone knows.” He said annoyed.

“Fine George, let’s put this the other way around because I think your brain might not be working right know.” George scoffed, rolling his eyes and Danna felt like showering him with curses.

“You go visit me at my work place and Logan’s there, you know I see him as a friend but he’d always wanted more, and he’s there and he’s touching my hair and winking at me all flirty and not so subtly inviting me out for a drink, what the fuck would you do, George, uh?” He just stared at her and then sighed, not knowing what to say.

“Exactly. Now if you excuse me I’m gonna go over to Mary’s to get ready there and while I’m gone, go fuck yourself, George. You’re childish.”

She felt someone snapping their fingers right in front of her face, now everyone on the table looking expectant, waiting for her answer. Ugh, she hated it. The whole attention thing.

“Uhm, we don’t know yet, George’s new project will take kinda long and now that I’m in charge of the magazine it’s not like we have the time to think about it. Plus we’ve only been dating for 8 months, Lacey.” Danna explained letting out a nervous laugh.

“Duh, I know, but you’ve known each other for like, what, for years now? It just took you guys way too long to realize you were head over heels for each other.”

Go to hell, Lacey. Danna wanted to disappear, she hated talking about her relationship and now everyone seemed interested on it.

“Yeah, I guess, you’ll be the first one to know if there’s a proposal.”

Lacey nodded, happy with the answer she got, letting out an ear-killing shout and then everyone just kept talking (screaming) while Danna just sinked a little on her place, she kinda regretted reacting that way with George but also the alcohol in her system told her he deserved it, so she grabbed the vodka shot in front if her and drank it.

George had a bad temper but so did she and even though most of the time they agreed on many things they were jealous people, the problem was that Danna accepted it, while he didn’t and she hated that.

Clara clapping got her out of the bubble.

“Fiiiiiiine, the boys are here, you know girls, Kit and I decided to end the night together, our not-married-yet celebrations joining, yay!” Clara cheered as she waved at her soon-to-be husband coming our way with other men behind him, one of those being George.

Oh fuck me, Clara. Why.

Almost too violently, Danna got it rid of her blazer, adjusting her lacy white top and her black leather skirt, she didn’t know why was she doing it, was she nervous to see him? like a fucking teenager? Obviously not, but she did wanted him to look at her.

When the group of men got to the table, they greeted everyone with a smile and that’s when George landed his eyes on her, down to her cleavage and staring little too much, the whole situation sending a shiver through her whole body. He stood there watching her like it was just the two of them.

“I love this song! oh my God! Let’s go dance people! Party’s on!” Clara got up taking Kit’s hand dragging him into the dance floor, followed by everyone else. Except for George and Danna.

She got up slowly, fixing her skirt. When she looked up, George was standing there and maybe if she still wasn’t so mad, she would’ve gone straight to kiss him right there because of how delightful he looked with those black jeans and the white half buttoned shirt.

When she tried to walk past him, George grabbed her arm bringing her back, their chests touching slightly.

“I’m sorry.” He said against her ear and Danna let out a sarcastic laugh. Maybe she was being childish now not letting the whole thing go but she was tipsy and he was an asshole earlier.

“I’m sure you are. You should, actually. Now if you excuse me I’d like to go dancing and celebrate with my friends.” She tried to let go of his hand but George was quicker and grabbed her by the waist to hold her still, pushing her against the nearest wall.

“Stop asking like that, Danna.” He almost growled.

“Like what, George? I’m literally just trying to leave to dance with my girlfriends.” Danna said looking at him with an innocent expression.

She knew she was pushing his buttons but it would’ve been a lie not to say the most pleasant thing to watch was him flustered, his cheeks turning carmine as he clenched his jaw, the veins on his neck showing and breathing becoming uneven.

Danna’s eyes closed as George lingered his lips against the crook of her neck, not kissing, not sucking just caressing it with his soft lips, earning a sigh from her. She felt so glad they were in a dark corner.

“I told I was sorry. I would never flirt with anyone and disrespect you like that.” George said with his lips still gracing her skin. “I like you, I’m yours, Danna. All yours.”

“I just hate that woman, I’m all about sorority but she keeps making it hard for me.” George laughed at her remark and Danna furrowed her eyebrows. “Don’t laugh, you idiot. It’s true. I just hate her touching you and looking at you and kissing your lips.”

Danna’s fingers went to his cheek so their faces were mere inches apart, noses touching. George looked at her lips and smiled looking back into her eyes.

“You look stunning, y'know? Absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking.”

George said and finally kissed her. Lips moving in sync as his hands held her waist tighter, Danna hands moving to touch his exposed chest feeling his soft skin. George bit her lip and that was it for the kiss to become more desperate, his hands traveled down as she pulled his hair a little too strong. The tension growing every second as they kissed in that dark corner feeling like two hormonal teenagers all over again.

“Oh sorry, I was just looking for my purse!” someone said making both of then jump.

One of Clara’s sister in law was standing there looking completely ashamed.

“It’s ok. Don’t worry, just making up here.” Danna shrugged it off and George giggled a little. The girl smiled shyly at the both of them and left quickly.

When Danna turned to look at George she felt like leaving the place right then, even though it was not possible since she promised Clara she’d stay till the end. He stood there, his hair a mess and cheeks red, his lips were swollen and stained with her red lipstick, his white shirt a mess.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer, sweetheart.” he said getting closer to her, he grabbed her throat and caressed the skin with his thumb, his eyes looking straight to her lips, “We’re going dancing now, and then I’m taking you home so I can show you don’t need to be jealous of any other woman.”

His hands gripping just little hit harder bringing her closer, so he could kiss her one last time.

“I’m yours, Danna. Yours.”

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XLIII

Chapter Forty Three: Don’t Tell ‘Em

 Summary: Fast forward a year to June 2023 and It’s Bachelor Party time.

Warning: There’s a little bit more angst in this one than the last chapter but it’s still just for fun.

 Author’s Note: I’m going to try to have the rest of this series done in the next week or so but who knows, really, when they’ll be all finished. Keep in mind, even though I only put it at the start of the chapter, the whole thing is from Tyler’s perspective. Hopefully, that’s clear! Enjoy 😊

 Song Credit: Don’t Tell ‘Em -- Jeremih & YG

 masterlist

 the other masterlist

xx

Tyler’s P.O.V

  You wanted to stay in Dallas for your Bachelor Party because you didn’t want to have anything too crazy and the guys seemed to go along with it.

  “She had fun in Vegas huh?” Jesse laughed

  “She did. I’m glad she was able to let loose,” you smirked, “even just for one day”

  “She does seem a little tightly wound most of the time” Mike added, laughing to himself

  “Come on dude...” you scoffed

  “Am I wrong?” Mike scoffed, “I mean, come on, every time we hang out with her, she barely says a word.”

  “She’s a little shy, that doesn’t make her tightly wound” you answered before moving from the patio to the pool

  “She’s always silently judging us” Mike replied

  “No she’s not,” Jesse interjected, “you, maybe. The rest of us? Not so much”

  “Very funny” Mike chided

  “She’s a nice girl and I think she can smell the sleaze on you a mile away. So she stays away.” Jesse continued while you jumped in the pool; the dogs following quickly behind

  “All I’m saying is she doesn’t seem to... connect with us the way that you try to connect with her friends”

  “Mike,” you yelled, “stop. She tries to connect with everyone but she stays in contact with the people she feels comfortable with. You’re just not one of them”

  “I should be. I’m one of your best friends”

  “Stop whining!” Rads finally spoke up from where he sat near the grill, “you sound like a baby.” You laughed, tossing Gerry’s ball to the other end of the pool so he would chase it

  “Is that your problem with her?” you asked, climbing out of the pool, “that she doesn’t think you’re the shit?”

  “I AM THE SHIT!” Mike yelled back and the guys just laughed

  “Whatever,” you smirked, “I’m having the party here. (Y/N)’s back in Calgary to spend a little bit more time with Chris and Karen before the wedding. As long as nothing gets broken, everything is fine”

  “There’s no guarantee that nothing will get broken” Jesse joked

  “Well... try...” you smiled..

xx

  Jamie started setting up stuff for the party while you called (Y/N) to check in

  “How’s everything?” she asked

  “Good. I had a bit of a.. disagreement with Mike yesterday but it was dealt with,” you answered, “so we’re good”

  “Is he going to be a problem tonight?”

  “Not for me. He might be a problem for himself”

  “Right..” she hesitated, “I guess what I meant was is he going to cause problems for you...?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t make me say it...”

  “Say what?”

  “Tyler...”

  “I honestly don’t know what you mean. I can take care of myself?” you questioned

  “Is he going to be inviting girls over and try to get you to.. do stuff?”

  “I can’t say he won’t,” you admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I’ll do anything. I love you. I’m marrying you. I don’t want any other girl.” You heard her sigh and you hoped it was out of relief

  “Okay. That makes me feel better.” You could hear the smile on her face but you had to make sure she knew,

  “There will be strippers though...”

  “I would hope so.” She laughed and you told her she had nothing to worry about before Jamie called you to help him with something

  “I should probably go”

  “Okay, love you!”

  “Love you!” You hung up the phone and wandered over to where Jamie was, laughing at the decorations he had put up

  “What?” he asked, turning his head when he heard your laugh

  “What is this?”

  “It’s a sign” he answered sarcastically

  “We don’t need that.”

  “Don’t need it or you don’t want it?”

  “Both? It’s just a party and I happen to be getting married...”

  “It’s a little more than just a regular party”

  “Yeah, maybe,” you answered, “but the point of having it here was to make it more... normal?”

  “Normal?”

  “You know.. like not themed or not a huge deal. Not about me. I have parties here all the time. This is just another party.”

  “Alright. If you say so,” he replied, “I’ll take down the sign.” Jamie did just that and you gave him an exaggerated thumbs up as you headed into the kitchen to grab your keys off the counter.

  “I’m going to pick up some stuff, need anything?”

  “GET SOME CHIPS!” he yelled to you

  “Okay!” you returned, leaving the house. While you were out, you suspected that the guys would cram in and have the house packed and music blaring by the time you got back. Sure enough, you pulled into your driveway to your door open, the music vibrating through your car and people piling inside.

  “THERE HE IS!” Jesse yelled when you walked through the door, “the guest of ‘Honour.’ Our favourite bachelor.”

  “Looks like you guys have been having a lot of fun already” you joked

  “You need a drink” Jesse said, directing you to the kitchen before taking you to play Beer Pong. It didn’t take you long to feel the effects of the alcohol and when Mike brought over a group of girls, who you swore were College freshmen, you turned back to your old self; flirting recklessly and draping your arms around each girl.

  “STRIPPERS ARE HERE!” Mike yelled when he noticed two women in uniform walk into the house. They sat you down in your living room and began their routine while your friends fed you drinks; by the time the girls were done, you were falling over your chair and your own feet when you finally stood up. It didn’t stop Mike, though, from getting the girls to grind on you while he took video of it.

  “You’re actually getting married?” the girl asked

  “Yeah” you slurred

  “Why?” she asked, leaning her head back to fall on your shoulder

  “Because she’s got him whipped” Mike laughed and the girls around you laughed

  “Because I love her” you corrected

  “And because you’re whipped”

  “Shut the fuck up, Mike” you looked up at him as he continued to film and the girl continued to dance on you

  “There’s nothing wrong with a little whipping,” he laughed, “as long as you’re able to whip back.”

 “You know, you run your mouth a lot, Seander,” you argued, finally moving away from the girl in front of you, “but you’re just a sad, little boy who can’t find someone to love him”

  “Oh is that right?”

  “Yeah that’s right!”

  “Okay, boys, calm down” Jamie tried separated you two, feeling the fight coming on

  “No, let him finish, Jamie” Mike yelled, slurring his words

  “Tyler don’t” Jamie pleaded

  “You’re a lonely, pathetic, fuckboy who can’t commit to one girl so you stoop to hooking up with girls almost half your age. Basically, you’re bordering statutory rape charges all for a good time”

  “And you’re a scared athlete who’s worried that no one will fuck him when his career is over that you’re marrying some bitch who judges every one around him”

  “I swear to fucking god, Mike, you say one more shitty thing about my fiancée and I’ll throw you into the window,” you seethed, barely noticing the circle of people forming around you and Mike, “you’re the only person she judges because she see’s right through you”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “You’re never gonna grow up. You’re gonna be 80 years old and reliving ‘the glory days’ when girls actually wanted to suck your dick and get drunk with you. You’re gonna be a has-been before you’re 50. She see’s that and I see it too b--” Before you were able to finish your thought, his fist connected with your face and you stumbled backward for a second before launching forward and punching him in the jaw; starting a full on brawl that lasted somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes before you were pulled apart.

  “We’re done!” Mike yelled, “we’re over! You finally made the choice to end us!”

  “Whatever Mike,” you shouted back, “Walk away!” you turned and started toward your room, hearing footprints follow behind you

  “You’re gonna regret this!” he called after you and you couldn’t tell, really, what he was referring to but you couldn’t focus on it too much because you were starting to feel really tired; you fumbled with your phone when you sat down on your bed

  “Maybe you shouldn’t be calling anyone right now” a voice said, taking your phone from your hands

  “I just wanted to text her” you whined, looking for the face that went along with the voice

  “Don’t think that’s such a good idea either” she laughed and you finally found her. The girl from the kitchen who had been dancing on you before your fight with Mike

  “What are you doing in here?”

  “I brought you some ice” she admitted, sitting close to you to put the ice on your eye

  “Thanks” you whispered, thinking you’d take the ice away from you but you let her hold it there.

  “How are you feeling? That fight was pretty bad. Guess your girl doesn’t like your best friend?”

  “They’re just... different people”

  “You sure you wanna be with someone who’s so different from the people in your life?”

  “I love her”

  “Do you?” she asked, leaning forward slightly and you furrowed your brow

  “Where’s my phone?” you snapped, taking the bag of ice from her and pulling away from her

  “Here” she said, handing it to you and you sent (Y/N) an almost ineligible text

  “I miss you“ you started

  “Having fun?” she replied

  “Don’t want the fighting because I miss you”

  “What?”

  “He left and we fought and now dhevb bia nw”

  “Tyler, baby, I love you. but I think you should put the phone away and get some sleep.” You finished reading her text just as the girl took it back from you, making sure to send a quick reply before setting the phone aside

  “I love you” the message read and she knelt down in front of you to take the ice bag away

  “I love her”

  “Okay” she said, taking your shoes off before moving her hands up your thighs

  “I’m marrying her” you continued as her body connected closely to yours

  “I know” her eyes met yours and her hands circled around your neck and you reluctantly breathed across the skin on her neck

  “I want to marry her” the words were smothered by this girls lips connecting with yours. It was the last thing you remember and you hoped that it was all that happened.

[bngtanah]

The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o6 (m)

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park) feat. Park Jimin (Brian Yi)  x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

genre: angst, smut, fluff word count: 6.5k+ chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14 warning: smut, cunnilingus, fingering, boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, painter!jimin, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn

a/n: still a fool. still reuploading.

Erin's fingertips moved furiously over the keyboard of her laptop and her head bopped along in time to the loud music playing in her earphones. She had less than a week to prepare for her final two exams of the year and to say that she had been procrastinating doing so was a gross understatement. Between Brian and well.... really Brian was the only thing truly distracting her from completely focusing on her schoolwork. She was used to Sammy's intrusions and often studied around his periodic outbursts but Erin hadn't quite figured out how to balance out studying and showing her boyfriend his due attention.

Boyfriend.

The term still seemed weird to her, and it had only been one day since Brian acquired it. Erin assumed that was natural since they were still in the early stages of getting to know one another. His asking her to be his girlfriend was just a formal agreement that she wouldn't attempt to get to know someone else at the same time. At least that's how Erin looked at it, then again her views of dating were always a little strange compared to others.

"Noona!"

Erin heard her name being summoned for the fifth time that night, this time the '-ah' was drawn out so long Erin thought he might run out of breath and pass out. He didn't, of course, but the yelling and general noise making didn't stop when Erin ignored her roommate and continue with her work. Erin didn't know what he was calling her for but she was fairly certain that there was no way it was more important that what she was doing, he would tire himself out eventually and then Erin could look forward to a peaceful night of reading and essay writing. At least so she thought.

"I know, you're my saviour" Erin heard the words of the song she was playing echoed in her left ear and the heat of Samuel's body pressed against her side momentarily before he disappeared behind her. 

"I know some pleasure" The next verse was repeated in Erin's right ear and again she ignored him, her eyes remaining glued to the screen.

It wasn't until she felt a pair of strong arms wrap tightly around her shoulders and Sam's chin rest on her shoulder that Erin finally stopped typing and groan loudly in frustration. 

"Park Sang-Min! I swear to god I will punch you in the throat, what the hell do you want?" Erin asked in an exasperated tone as she spun around to glare at the face of a child who had just been scolded.

"Come out with me."

"Are you kidding me? I don't have time to joke around with you right now, Sammy."

"I am completely serious. You've been tearing over these books and printouts the whole day, you need a break." Samuel said softly and released Erin from his hold.

"I can't do that, if I don't pass both of these exams then I won't graduate and I am not going through another year of this."

"You know these textbooks better than the back of your hand and you're just going to burn yourself out if you don't take a little break sometime."

Erin exhaled harshly and pressed a hand against her forehead, she was feeling a little drained and the words she was reading were beginning to blur together indecipherably.

Maybe Sammy was right. 

"Just a tiny little break okay?" Erin clarified, making it apparent that she had no intentions of leaving their apartment.

"A small, minuscule break." Her roommate reassured.

This definitely was not a small, little break.

Erin wasn't even sure how it happened, one second she was fighting Sam on taking a few shots in their kitchen and the next thing she knew they were both three shots of tequila deep and on their way out the door in search of a place to dance and hopefully drink more.

And drink they did, Erin more so than Samuel which was the usual. Apparently she needed to blow off more steam than she originally thought.

As the night wore on Samuel began feeling less and less intoxicated, and one guy had the misfortune of getting too hands-y with his roommate, which made the amused smirk he was wearing while watching Erin float around the dance floor fall into an angry glare. 

Erin was clearly drunk and the sleazy vultures in the bar picked up on it, targeted her, and moved in to pick her apart, entice her to the nearest exit with the promise of a good time. Samuel figured they had already had their fun for the night and it was time to go.

He gripped Erin's arm to make her look at him. "Let's go home."

The drunk man she was subtly trying to avoid dancing with didn't seem too happy about the interruption. He opened his mouth to complain, but Samuel cut him off.

"Fuck off."

"Who the fuck you think you're talking to?"

"No one," Sam dismissed him and tugged Erin upwards.

"Yah," The stranger exclaimed and reached for Erin's other arm.

Sam moved to step in between them, his jaw square. "Let. Her. Go." Sam wasn't exactly a threatening figure, but he knew he could handle himself in a fight if it came to that.

Luckily the guy had the foresight to see that this confrontation was not worth the possibility of him getting hurt. "Whatever," he huffed and smartly walked away.

Erin and Samuel shuffled to another part of the bar.

She was piss drunk and yet her watery, red streaked eyes still sparkled when Samuel looked at her. "You were going to fight that guy?"

"Maybe," Sam shrugged and silently checked their surroundings, making sure that the douchebag didn't round up any of his friends to attempt to jump them later.

"Aigoo, Sammy you love me," Erin slurred.

"More than you know," Sam grinned.

"Can we dance to one more song?"

"No."

"Please, Sammy. It was your idea to come out anyway."

Erin pouted but Samuel managed to fortify himself against her full bottom lip, refusing to crack.

"It's late and both of us have to work in the morning."

Erin was full on scowling at this point but didn't fight as Sam led her to the entrance and then both of them were outside, taking in the chilly air.

"You weren't having any fun?" she hiccuped.

"I stopped having fun about two shots ago. But hey, you were drinking enough for the both of us."

Erin giggled again and leaned her head fully against Samuel's side.

Three hard drinks were her limit and Erin knew that. Tonight she was definitely testing her liver and kidneys' ability to break down the components of tequila, rum, and god knows what else.

"My feet hurt," she whined.

Sam stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and leaned down "Get on."

It took three tries before Erin could climb on his back. She snickered uncontrollably the entire time.

"My ass is showing. I can feel it," Erin laughed.

Sam joined in too. He always found her adorable when she was sober, but drunk Erin was ten times worse.

"I need you to promise me we'll always be this close, Sammy."

"Of course we will."

"Even after I tell you that Brian asked me to be his girlfriend?"

Samuel paused for half a second but kept moving forward, pretending that her revelation hadn't bothered him at all. "Why would that make us not close?"

"I know you don't like him."

Samuel chuckled silently, and without humour, nothing got past his best friend. 

"That's not true, I just didn't want you to get hurt. If you like him and he treats you well, then that's good enough for me." He lied.

"I think I really do like him" Erin mused and pressed her cheek against Samuel's.

"Great."

After hitching her higher along his back several times because she kept slipping, Sam and Erin finally made it back to their apartment. Erin was singing about riding a surfboard and drinking watermelon and Samuel had no clue what she was talking about.

He dumped her momentarily on the couch and headed to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. Her cell phone was buzzing since she had forgotten it on the kitchen counter. Samuel looked at the name on the screen, looked at Erin, then back at the screen, and hit the ignore button. She was in no condition to talk to anyone at the moment.

Brian could leave her a message as far as Sammy was concerned. It wasn't too late, but late enough to be considered booty call hours by his standards.

With the glass of water in his hands Sam strolled back to the living room only for Erin's phone to start ringing once again.

"Is my phone ringing?"

"Ignore it."

"It could be important."

"It's not," Sam handed her the glass which she accepted but only drank a tiny sip. "Finish it."

Erin's brown eyes darkened, and she glared up at him, but chugged the water anyway and thrust the empty glass back against Sam's chest.

"Why aren't you drunk?" Erin curled up on the couch.

"I know my limits." he laughed "Why were you determined to get wasted?"

"I thought that's what we went out to do. Don't question me right now, my head hurts."

"Come on," Sam pulled her up. "You need to get to bed."

Erin stumbled into her room, mumbling incoherently, and tossed herself on the mattress then began fumbling around with hem of her top. She was having trouble realizing that it needed to be unbuttoned and not pulled over her head.

Without any more questions, Sam squatted downward and helped Erin unbutton her blouse, pushed the fabric off her shoulders, and dropped it on the floor. His eyes moved over her lacy camisole long enough to realize that she wasn't wearing a bra and his cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink when he felt the need to kiss her flare up within him once again.

Instinctively his tongue peeked out to moisten his bottom lip and when his gaze finally fell back on Erin's face, he saw a distinctive look in her eyes.

It was the same look she had given him all those years ago on his graduation night. The kind of look that led to clothes coming off and body parts being caressed and fondled. That look. 

Immediately Sam clamored to his feet and put a space between them. "You should get some rest, noona. I'll see you in the morning."

Sam was out the door and on the couch before Erin could say anything, even just suggesting that he sleep with her that night like they had many times before. If she had, Sam wasn't sure if he'd been able to turn her down, say no. It was different when she was relatively single and he had the option of stealing her attention away from a guy she'd been out with just a few times, but there were labels involved now and Samuel finally caught on to just how stupid he was for waiting so long to say anything.

Erin felt like crap. The second she woke up she was overcome with the feeling of monkeys playing bongos on her temples and every bone in her body that could ache did. A long drawn-out groan left her lips as she tried and failed to get out of bed, the sun was already high in the sky and she was positive that this was the latest she’d ever woken up since her first year of university. The palm of her hand rested as gently as it could on the side of her temple as she did her best to push herself upward and out of her sheets. 

The worst part of this was that she couldn’t even remember why she was in so much pain. Erin was positive that she spent the night in her apartment so what could have gotten her so unbelievably wasted? The last thing she remembered was sitting in the living room begging Sammy to leave her alone and let her study.

Ah, Sammy.

If anyone would know why her head was currently doing gymnastics, he would.

"Sammy," Erin said hoarsely as she shuffled out into the living room, but she was met with a silence which was unusual because Samuel was never silent. 

"Sam!" She called again but once she got to the couch, she realized that he wasn't answering her because he wasn't home. There were only two places he could be so early in the day and Erin knew he didn't have any classes that day, so he must have been at work. A few seconds after the word 'work' popped into her head Erin's eyes bulged open and she sprinted back towards her room to grab her cell phone.

How could she have forgotten that she was covering for someone today?

Erin scolded to herself as she tore around the room looking for her cell. Once it was in hand, she wasted no time in checking her voice mails, three were from her supervisor and none of them were pleasant. One was from Brian but she didn't have time to check that or the messages he'd sent her, her only priority for now was getting ready for work as quickly as possible while she still had a job.

Erin was showered and dressed in a flash, her hair slapped up into a messy bun and just a dab of BB cream slathered over her face before she dashed towards the door. As her hand grabbed the knob to twist it open something taped to the peephole caught her attention and made her stop for just a moment.

Erin-Ah ^-^~ You're going to be late today, I should have woken you up before I left but you looked so peaceful drooling into your pillow. I know you won't read your phone this morning so I'm leaving you this note. Try not to stress out too much I know how you think but you know they won't fire you over this, you've never been late before. Have a good day!!! Work hard!!!! I'm rooting for you!!

Love, Sammy. P.S. When you get home there's something I really need to talk to you about.

Erin smiled and folded the note up to place in her jacket pocket, she always loved receiving these hand-written notes from her roommate whenever they missed each other in the morning time. Her mind traveled as she made her was out of her building onto the sidewalk, wondering what he could need to talk about that couldn't be mentioned in the letter but Erin came up blank. Unless something happened last night that she didn't remember, maybe she did something embarrassing when they went out. Or something embarrassing when they got home? She didn't puke on him did she? And even if she had would that warrant a discussion?

Erin settled somewhat once she finally got into a cab and started on her way further into the city. She was about ten minutes away from her job when a muddled memory buzzed her conscious; she remembered being on her bed with Sammy kneeling in front of her unbuttoning her top and tossing it aside. She remembered wanting to feel his lips against hers among other things and then...

Nothing.

Erin tapped her hand against her head in an attempt to jog her memory but that proved to be an idiotic idea since it made her headache even worse. That couldn't have been the last thing she remembered if it was then all signs were pointing to the fact that she may have made a very stupid decision last night and she couldn't even remember it.

She wanted to call Sammy and put her mind at ease before she got to work but before she could unlock her phone, she was in the front of her office building and preparing to shuffle her way inside. Her supervisor seemed to be waiting for her once she reached her floor and it took nearly half an hour to explain why she was late and get her supervisor to leave her alone before she could start working. Every step sent shock waves of pain throughout Erin's body and it didn't help that everyone needed her to do some mindless task for them that day. The menial things took so much energy out of her that she actually had to stop and take a breather while she was making copies.

This was definitely going to be a rough day.

Erin had managed to make it all the way to her lunch break without barfing or cursing someone out for standing too close to her and she was rewarding herself by taking a breather on the rooftop garden her boss maintained. It was freezing outside but the cold and coffee she sipped were keeping her awake.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and the corner of Erin's lips turned up into a smirk. She knew exactly who it was before she checked. She had managed to send Brian a quick text apologizing for ignoring his messages from last night and this morning. Erin choked on the small sip of coffee when she opened the message and rested the cup on the ground next to her. 

Brian had sent her a selfie, a shirtless one. At 12:30 in the afternoon. Erin returned the favor by sending him a selfie of with her jaw dropped open.  It only took a few seconds for him to call her back.

"I want to hear the noise you made."

Erin laughed, honestly happy to hear his voice even if he was being indecent in the middle of the day. 

"Who said I made a noise? Maybe that was me being disgusted."

"Don't lie to me, Erin."

She chuckled softly and threw her head back, a bad idea since she immediately began wincing.

"You left me speechless, Brian." Erin groaned and rubbed her temples

"Your face does that to me every time I see it."

Erin groaned louder smiled even wider, if that was possible, and pressed her hands against her cheeks to cool down the heat that was caused by Brian's words.

"Brian I am at work," Erin said in a warning tone even though she was beyond amused.

"I know, I know," He laughed "I just missed talking to you...Hey, are you busy tonight?"

"I shouldn't be,"

"Good, because I'm making you dinner."

"Aw, Bria-" Erin's words were cut off by the beeping of her phone to signify that her lunch break was over and she had to get back to work.

"Sorry I have to go, I'll see you tonight?"

"Ah, I won't keep you, work hard. See you tonight."

It only took a few minutes for Erin to get ready and leave her empty apartment, she didn't know where Sammy was but there was no time to figure it out.

Judging by the address he sent her Brian lived about half an hour away from Erin's apartment and she fretted the entire taxi ride there. She was feeling miles better than she did this morning but it was also the first time Brian had ever invited her to his place and Erin had so many questions.

When the cab rolled to a stop in front of a slightly run down building Erin almost didn't get out of the car. The neighborhood didn't look unsafe, but it definitely didn't seem like a place Erin wanted to wander around alone. It wasn't until she saw Brian standing outside waiting for her, looking cold but still so attractive with the long sleeves of his shirt pulled over his hands, that Erin released the breath she was holding in.

Erin tossed her fare in the driver's direction and quickly exited out onto the sidewalk.

"Sorry I’m late!" She said once she was close enough and Brian turned to look at her like she had just descended from heaven.

"Don't worry about it, you look beautiful."

His arms were around her waist, pulling Erin's body close to his own and lips pressed against Erin's in no time. She felt her frigid body melt against his despite the cold and Erin returned his kiss with vigor, her arms encircling his neck and fingertips playfully threading through his hair. One would think they hadn't seen each other in weeks, not two days.

"I hope you're hungry" Brian murmured against Erin's lips once he'd finally stopped ravishing her mouth.

"I hope you can cook."

Her reply garnered a sincere laugh from Brian as he led her inside his apartment.

As it turned out he actually owned the entire building and left the outside as is because he enjoyed the worn look of it. The majority of the space was occupied by a makeshift studio where Erin presumed that he spent most of his time painting, there was a small corner where a kitchen had been built and another where a loft bedroom was built with an office underneath it.

Tonight there was a single table set up in the middle of the floor with two place settings and a candle between them.

Erin gasped softly when she walked inside and sight came into full view, complete with fairy lights to gently illuminate them as they sat.

"Brian this is beautiful," She stated softly as he took her coat from her.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it,"

"I'm so relieved, I was worried you would think it's cheesy," He said shyly before motioning for her to take a seat.

Erin giggled "It is a little cheesy, but in a nice way."

Brian ignored her teasing and pressed his lips to her temple before moving to the kitchen to grab dinner.

"Can I ask what you made tonight?" 

"You could, but I might not tell you."

"Okay~ I just hope it's edible."

Brian guffawed.

"Why do you think I can't cook?" he asked as he walked back towards Erin with two plates of pasta in his hands.

"I don't know that many men that can really cook. I mean Sammy can make ramyun but that doesn't require much skill, I asked him to make me kimchi fried rice once, and we almost had to call the fire department."

Brian smiled, but mentally began his tally on how many times Erin was going to mention her roommate's name that night. It was a game he began torturing himself with on their first date and he was always the loser.

"Well, it's not ramyun but I hope you like fettuccine," he said with a playful wink as he set down a plate in front her Erin before taking a seat on the other side of the table.

Erin grinned and took a quick bite of the dish then looked at Brian in disbelief  "This is really good," she said as if she didn't believe her own words.

Brian responded with a prideful smile and a slight bow of his head.

"So, how was your day?" Erin asked while twirling more pasta on her fork.

"Nerve wrecking."

"Why?"

"I had four meetings lined up with potential buyers and every time I tried to explain the inspiration behind one of my pieces, it was like I forgot how to talk," he laughed. "My mind was too preoccupied on getting everything perfect for tonight."

Erin blushed, offering her boyfriend a shy smile "I hope I didn't cost you a sale."

"No, I managed to make up something eventually three of the buyers are coming to pick up paintings tomorrow."

"Good, because I had no intentions of paying you back."

They shared a good-natured laugh and returned to eating, a pleasant conversation soon flowing between them. Erin told Brian about her difficult day at work and the night out she'd shared with Sammy which caused her difficult day at work. She conveniently forgot to mention the possible ending of their night out, not because she wasn't riddled with guilt over the possibility that she may have cheated on Brian so soon into their relationship. But because she didn't know for a fact that she had cheated on him, she could still only remember bits and pieces from the night before and there was no definitive proof that anything happened between them other than Erin's overactive imagination and hopeful wish fulfillment. Sammy had helped her get dressed and undressed when she wasn't able to do it herself multiple times before, that memory of him removing her shirt could have been totally platonic. 

"Well, Erin?"

Brian's voice made Erin stop day dreaming Sammy and focus her gaze on him, he must have asked her a question but Erin obviously wasn't paying attention.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Do you want dessert? I bought a cake but I wasn't sure if you'd still be hungry,"

"Oh, yes I would love dessert! Let me help you with the dishes,"

Erin quickly stood up and began stacking their plates together even though Brian protested, she ignored him and followed as he moved to the kitchen to grab the cake out of the refrigerator. Erin dumped the dishes in the sink and glanced over at Brian as he started unboxing his store bought cake, brown eyes roamed over the profile of his face and down to the subtle veins that exposed themselves in his neck when one of the tags holding the box gave him some trouble. She smirked gently when he finally did get it open and his biceps flexed underneath his tight white shirt, had his shirt always been that tight? Before she stopped herself Erin's eyes were moving downward and shamelessly she ogled his tight ass when he turned to grab a knife and fork from a nearby drawer. 

She got caught staring when Brian looked back at her over his shoulder and when their eyes met he raised a brow and shot Erin a seductive smirk.

"Pervert," he said playfully and pulled Erin near to him by a hook on her jeans.

"You're an artist, you should be able to understand wanting to appreciate a masterpiece," She replied with a chuckle and leaned back against the counter.

Brian grinned and shook his head, moving to stand in front of her and placed both of his hands on either side of her body.

"Nice save, but you're still a pervert- open,"

"I can live with that" Erin answered as she held her mouth ajar and Brian fed her a small piece of cake before taking a bite himself. "Are you going to feed me the whole cake? Because I don't think I have the self-control to stop you" Erin joked as she prepared for another forkful.

“I could do that" Brian answered and pulled the prongs of the fork from between Erin's parted lips. “But I’d prefer to do this,"  His strong arm slipped around her waist and hugged her tightly to his chest, leaning in to softly press his lips against her throat.

Erin giggled softly as Brian hugged her tightly in his arms and nibbled on the skin of her neck. They hadn't been dating for an exceptionally long time but it seemed like Brian knew just how to touch Erin to make her senses go haywire. Though it didn't really take much. A soft kiss to her neck, a firm grip on her thigh, even his chest pushing against hers got her aroused. She grasped his side, tugging gently on his shirt, pulling him closer against her. 

“You sure you want to do that?” Erin teased, running her hand under his shirt and grazing her fingertips over his hard abs making Brian's lips curl up in a warm smile against her throat.

He answered her taunt by abandoning her neck and moving his head upward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. Without much effort, Brian lifted his girlfriend into his arms while he palmed her ass with one hand and the other gripped her waist and rested her against the surface of the counter. Erin yelped softly when he hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist once she was sitting on the counter and Brian was standing between her legs. 

Erin was careful to be conscience of her movements, restraining the urge to roll her hips forward. She had a decent amount of self control but honestly it was tapering off by the second. Every time his tongue stroked against her own and she felt the silent vibrations of a groan hum beneath his chest Erin felt her desire for him grow more urgent. 

"It's getting late..." Erin said as she leaned back, her hands clutched tighter to the back of his neck as their lips separated and she took a much needed huff of air while Brian began moving his lips against her neck again and cutting off the moan that wanted for escape from her throat. "I should get going."

Brian smirked and tilted his head upward upward to look Erin in the eyes, the look on his face conveying just how much he didn't want her to leave yet. 

"Do you really want to go?"

He accompanied his question with a tender peck to Erin's lips, his hands pushing up the hem of her skirt and massaging the skin on her thighs. Erin shivered and bit down on her bottom lip, every inch her body was begging her to stay and continue their moment but as per her usual Erin was over thinking the outcome of this situation. Were they moving too fast? Or too slow? They had been seeing each other for just over a month so maybe this was long overdue. All these thoughts were buzzing through her mind but then Brian's lips were slowly trailing against her skin again, leaving wet open kisses wherever he could find a section of exposed skin. His hands were gripping her waist and roaming, moving up Erin’s torso to squeeze her breasts gently through her shirt. When that happened, Erin lost what little restraint she’d previously had and moaned heavily against his ear, her head leaned forward and her teeth tugged on his earlobe gently. 

"I'll take that as a no" He laughed gently, not doing anything to hide the grin on his face, he was glad to hear that she wanted him just like how he wanted her. Brian gathered Erin in his arms and lifted her off the counter gently her legs still wrapped tightly around his waist. She didn't feel the need to ask where he was taking her, the look in his eyes gave her all the answers she needed. In no time, they were up the stairs that led to his loft and Brian was placing Erin gently on the surface of his bed while he leaned down and attempted to kiss her again.

She ran her thumb over his soft bottom lip, then did the same thing with his top lip. Brian kept his eyes on her but didn't move other than putting his hands on her hips. She leaned forward until they were only a hair apart and looked into his deep brown eyes. He smiled, and she smiled back, and they continued to look at each other until she finally kissed him softly. Their eyes stayed connected as she kissed him over and over and alternated between sucking his bottom and top lip.

It was as if a light switch had been flipped because both their bodies came alive instantly. Brian whipped his t-shirt off and was on her in an instant. She sank her hands into his hair and met his tongue, stroke for stroke. Erin switched their positions so that he was beneath her and leaned her head to the side to get the maximum amount of pleasure from his mouth, her hips took on a life of their own as she ground against him, up and down and side to side. They moaned together, and Erin hadn't realized how much she wanted him until right then. She also hadn't realized that his hands were in the exact same position, holding her hips in a vice grip. She assumed that he was letting her control the ride and determine how far they did or didn't go. And that made her melt inside.

She pulled her lips away from his and slid down so that her mouth was on his neck. She switched between kissing and sucking his smooth pale skin and every time he tensed underneath her, Erin knew that he was fighting not to flip her over and ravage her right there. She kissed down his bare chest and teased his nipples with the tip of her tongue.

"Shit, Erin," he groaned.

A jolt of arousal shot straight down her legs at the way he said her name and she pushed herself down on him harder than before, forcing his erection right where she wanted it. She moaned and bit down on his lip, which he seemed to enjoy more than she thought he would. Erin pulled him up, so that she was straddling him, and watched his hooded eyes as she slowly pulled her shirt off. She felt a seconds worth of uncertainty but that vanished with the way Brian stared at her breasts like they were the best things he'd ever seen. He licked his lips but still didn't move his hands.

"Touch me," she whispered hotly.

Apparently that was the only nudge he needed. Brian secured her position in his lap with one arm around her waist while the other wrapped around her back. His mouth immediately took possession of her right breast and he devoured it like he was starving. Erin's head fell back and she whispered to him how amazing his mouth felt on her. He licked, sucked and bit her sensitive flesh with just the right amount of pressure, over and over until Erin was sure that might come just from this action alone. He stopped and switched to the other one, working her up more and more with each caress of his tongue.

Brian finally relented and dipped his head down as low as it would go to kiss all over her stomach. He switched their positions and laid her down on his comforter, continuing his quest down her body. She shivered with want and met eyes with him as he slowly pulled her skirt and panties down and revealed her nude form to him. He grunted in amazement and grabbed his constrained erection pressing against his bottoms. He used his free hand to spread Erin's legs and when it looked like he was going to bend down and go to work on her, she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook her head.

"Next time," she said, her voice raspy with lust. "I want you right now."

He made quick work of removing his jeans and boxers and she pulled him on top of her. Their mouths met in a messy, desperate kiss and she whimpered when he rubbed his tip against her warm center.

"You're so wet," he groaned.

"And it's all for you," she whispered, which only made him groan again, that coupled with the feeling her hand gently moving up and down his hard length.

“W-wait,” he murmured, sitting up and reaching for his bedside table, not wanting to leave her body. Brian just barely reached the familiar feeling of a foil wrapper and caught it between his fingers, quickly tearing the package open and using the latex to cover himself. He pulled her back to him, settling between her legs and kept his eyes on her face as he guided himself inside her and paused once she gasped and he felt her flinch beneath him. He brushed back the spirals of curls from clouding her face, wanting to make sure she was comfortable. “You alright, jagi?” he asked, his eyes searching for any sort of discomfort.

Erin nodded quickly and blushed at her reaction "It's just been a while, but I'm fine"  she replied with a soft chuckle "But hey..that's the first time you've called me that."

"Called you what?"

"Jagi, I like it"

Brian grinned and rested his forehead against Erin's shoulder, his hips swiveled slightly against Erin's even though he was truly trying not to move for Erin's sake. He didn't want to hurt her but there was only so much he could do to remain still while she was wrapped so tightly around him. 

"Are you ready for me, jagiya?" Brian whispered against her ear and pressed his pillow soft lips to the skin beneath her earlobe. 

Erin nodded and slowly he pulled back until the head of his member was lined up with her entrance, reaching between them to tease her with strokes up and down her slit. Then he finally slid his entire length into her, stopping only when he reached the hilt. Erin's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she groaned so loudly that she was sure his neighbors could hear her.  He began to move, slowly, pushing in and out of her at very slow pace, feeling every inch of her, and letting her do the same.

"Oh god...Brian" Erin managed to gasp as her hips moved in time with his, his name tumbling from her lips again and again as he picked up the pace so that he was now pounding into her. The sounds of his breathing and grunts, mixed with Erin's soft moans and whimpers and the sound of skin on skin was a symphony that filled Brian's studio space. 

“Baby… fuck,” lifting his head back up, Brian gazed down at her and took in her expressions of pleasure with pride before dipping down and capturing her lips in a sloppy, passionate kiss. A thin layer of sheer sweat formed over their bodies, and his grip on her waist tightened. With every moan and word to slip past her plump lips, Brian felt his length  twitch deep within her. It took everything in him to hold out until she had reached her own climax.

Bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder, Brian looked down to where their bodies met and groaned at the sight. Her soaking heat taking him in with every stroke, her essence covering his length while he plowed into her at an increased speed. Holding her leg up just a little bit higher, he could feel himself hitting her hilt while her core quivered around him. Chest heaving and sweat dripping down his body, his hair becoming damp, Brian felt his undoing approaching him.

Reaching down between them, he placed a slick thumb on her swollen clit and began rubbing furiously. “Come on, baby. You gonna come?” Grunting and matching with his thrusts, he was determined to get her finish before he did— and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. Erin felt her clit throb intensely and her walls twitch around his member. She couldn’t hold back the sharp, loud moans that left her mouth.  Erin released a sensuous moan into the air and she felt her entire body coil then suddenly stiffen as her orgasm rocked through her hot core. As soon as Erin hit her climax, Brian allowed himself to be overcome with pleasure. He gripped onto her skin tightly, sloppily and mercilessly pounding into her before he released himself and his face buried in her neck as he let out a string of profanities. He slowly lowered his entire weight on top of her, his head resting snugly against her breasts.

The room was silent except for the sounds of their heavy pants and stray whimpers. Brian slowly removed himself from her body and Erin worked up the strength to turn and look at him. Their eyes met and he smiled. Which made Erin smile and a flicker of warmth flare up within her. Lazily, she reached over to cradle his face as Brian pulled her into his arms and threaded his fingertips through her curly nest of hair.

Erin wanted to say something while she laid there with his rapid heartbeat returning to normal against her eardrum, but everything that came to mind just made it sound like she was complimenting a male escort. When she tilted her head upwards and Brian leaned down to kiss her again gently again Erin realized that maybe for once she really didn't need to say anything.

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2019

Congratulations! You’ve made it through another year! You’ve faced many obstacles and overcome many adversaries to arrive here, at the dawn of a new decade. So as we prepare to leave the 2010s and make our way into the 2020s, lets take a look back at the challenges and hardships of 2019. And by challenges and hardships, I of course mean shitty fiction and media.

Yes, it’s time for yet another edition of Quill’s Swill, where we mark the absolute worst stories that the industry had to offer over the past year and proceed to tear them to shreds. Think of it as like voiding your bowels before the New Year.

As always remember that this is my personal, subjective opinion. If you happen to like any of the things on this list, that’s fine. More power to you. Go make your own list. Also bear in mind I haven’t seen everything 2019 has to offer due to various other commitments. So as much as I really, really want to, I can’t put Avengers Endgame on here. I know what happens. It sounds fucking terrible, but I haven’t seen the film, so it wouldn’t be fair of me to put it on the list, even though it would most definitely deserve it.

...

Seriously, read the synopsis of Endgame on Wikipedia some time. It’s like fanfic written by a nine year old. It’s truly shocking. And now it’s the highest grossing movie of all time? Give me strength.

All In A Row

Don’t you just hate it when you’re expected to parent your autistic child? Like actually show love and care and consideration to your offspring. Look at him, expecting you to treat him like a human being. Selfish bastard! If only there was a play that explored the horrors of having to be a decent person to your own flesh and blood and how objectively awful it is. If you’re one of those people, then the play All In A Row will be right up your street.

Premiering on the 14th February at Southwark Playhouse in London, All In A Row was a total shitshow to say the least. The playwright, Alex Oates, claimed to have ten years of experience working with autistic children, which you wouldn’t have believed if you saw the play as the autistic child at the centre of the play, Lawrence, seemed more like a wild animal than a person. In fact two of the main characters compare him to a dog. And if you thought this wasn’t dehumanising enough, Lawrence isn’t even a child. He’s a puppet. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds.

All In A Row seems to place all of the blame for the family’s predicament on the autistic child, who’s presented as barely functional, bordering on bestial. There’s no effort to really make an emotional connection with Lawrence (how can you? He’s a puppet!) as the play instead focuses on how this kid has effectively ruined this family’s life because of his autism and aggressive behaviour. Speaking as someone on the autism spectrum, I can say quite confidently that this play is fucking despicable. Badly written, badly conceived, insulting and downright mean spirited. I wouldn’t want Oates looking after my autistic children, that’s for damn sure.

Anthem

EA is back and this time they’re dragging the critical darling that is BioWare down with them.

Anthem was a desperate attempt to jump aboard the ‘live service’ bandwagon, trying to replicate the success of other video games like Overwatch, Destiny and Warframe. They failed spectacularly. The game itself had more bugs than A Bug’s Life, loot drops were often stingy and unrewarding, loading times were farcically long, and the story and worldbuilding was fucking pitiful. Oh yeah, and if you played it on PS4, there was a good chance it could permanently damage it. Thankfully I have a uni friend with an Xbox One and they allowed me to play the game on that. It was a crushing disappointment, especially coming fresh off the heels of Mass Effect Andromeda, which didn’t exactly set the world on fire back in 2017.

It didn’t help that EA’s reputation was in tatters thanks to the lootbox controversy of Star Wars Battlefront II and having to try and win back the trust of fans, but worse still reports began to service of what went on behind the scenes at BioWare during the game’s development. Apparently the game’s story and mechanics kept changing every other day as the creative directors and writers didn’t have the faintest idea what kind of game they wanted to make, and the developers were often forced to work obscenely long work hours in abusive crunch periods to get the game finished for launch. It got so bad that, according to an article on Kotaku, some members of the team had to leave for weeks or even months at a time to recover from ‘stress casualties.’ 

To think this was the same company that gave us Mass Effect, Dragon Age and Knights Of The Old Republic. Thank God that Obsidian Entertainment is there to pick up the slack on the RPG front because I think it’s safe to assume that BioWare won’t be around for much longer at this rate.

The Lion King (2019 remake)

Here we go. Yet another live action remake of a Disney classic. Excpet it’s not live action, is it? Well... it’s live action in the sense that Dinosaur was live action (remember that film? Don’t worry if you don’t. No one does). Real locations but CGI characters. Millions of dollars spent on cutting edge tech to create photo realistic animals... and the film ends up duller than a bowl of porridge that really likes trainspotting.

It’s not just the fact that The Lion King remake is yet another soulless cash grab from the House of Mouse, it’s also the fact that it’s done really badly that upsets me. The Lion King works as an animated film. Bright colourful images, over the top song and dance sequences and vibrant character designs. As a ‘live action’ film, it just looks awkward and stilted. None of the animals are very expressive, leaving it up to the poor voice actors to carry the film, and to cap it all off the CGI isn’t even all that convincing in my opinion. At no point did I look at Simba and go ‘oh yeah, he looks like a real lion.’ It’s so obviously fake. In fact it reminds me of those early 00s movies like Cats & Dogs or Stuart Little where you see the jaws of the talking animals moving up and down like some messed up ventriloquist act or something. And here’s me thinking cinema has evolved past this.

BBC’s The War Of The Worlds

Remember Peter Harness? That guy who wrote that Doctor Who episode about the moon being an egg? Yeah, he’s back and he’s doing an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds. And guess what! It’s fucking ghastly! :D

The three part BBC mini-series was without a doubt some of the worst telly I think I’ve ever seen. It’s staggering how clueless Harness is as a writer. For starters he managed to achieve the impossible and somehow made a Martian invasion of Earth boring. I didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow he pulled it off. Then he sucks all tension out of the story by revealing the ultimate fate of the Martians at the beginning of the second episode, so now any threat or danger has been chucked out of the window because we know that the main female protagonist Amy at least would survive. And then finally he takes a massive dump over the source material by having humanity weaponise typhoid to kill the red weed rather than just having the Martians die of the common cold like in the book. Because God forbid us Brits should be presented as anything other than heroic and dignified.

So what we’re left with is a poorly realised allegory with ineffectual horror tropes full of OTT progressive posturing in a pathetic attempt to make Harness and the BBC look more liberal than they actually are. There’s no effort to really explore the themes of imperialism and colonialism outside of casual lip service, and we barely get a glimpse of the dark side of humanity. Everyone is presented as flawed, but basically awesome or, in the case of Rafe Spall’s character, utterly gormless. Our TV license fees help fund this shit, you know?!

And if you think this was bad, just wait till New Year’s Day where we’ll get to see Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ butcher Dracula. Can we stop giving these beloved literary icons to these hacks please?

Glass

I liked Split. It wasn’t an amazing movie, but it was entertaining with some good ideas, a great performance from James McAvoy and was a true return to form for M Night Shyamalan. That being said, I wasn’t keen on the idea of it taking place in the same universe as Unbreakable. I feared it would be a step too far and we’d end up having something like... well, something like Glass.

On paper, Glass isn’t a bad idea. The idea of superpowers being a delusion is legitimately intriguing and could have been a great post-modern deconstruction of the superhero genre. Except Shyamalan never actually does anything with it. The first act drags on and on with absolutely nothing happening, none of the characters really grow or change over the course of the film, Bruce Willis in particular is basically only here for an extended cameo as his character does pretty much nothing for the majority of the film, and then the entire film is undermined by that stupid Shyamalan twist. Turns out superhumans are real and there’s a big cover up. Oh great! So not only does it render the entire film pointless, it also undoes what made Unbreakable and Split so good. They’re no longer people capable of extraordinary feats via rational means. They’re just superhuman. They can do anything. Sigh.

Shyamalan... maybe it’s time to give up the director’s chair, yeah?

Cats

Oh come on! Don’t act surprised! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t put Cats on this list?!

Cats, without a doubt, is the worst film of the decade and, yes, the CGI is terrible. Not only are there these sub-human cat mutants running around, we also have mice and cockroaches with child faces, James Corden coughing up furballs, Taylor Swift trying to give the furries in the audience boners, Idris Elba looking disturbingly underdressed and Rebel Wilson being... well... Rebel Wilson. It’s a disaster of a film. And really, should we even be surprised? We all knew this was going to suck. And no it’s not because of the CGI. I thought the CGI in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu was creepy as well, but at least it had a decent script and good performances to back it up. No the reason why Cats sucked is because... it’s Cats. It’s always been that bad. No amount of ‘advanced fur technology’ was going to change that. It was still going to be a confused, plotless mess with one dimensional characters and bad songs.

The only consolation I had was that I didn’t waste money buying a ticket. A friend of mine snuck me into the premiere and we watched it in the projector room. The plan was to make fun of it and have a laugh, but we didn’t even do that because honestly there’s nothing to really make fun. There’s only so many times you can take the piss out of the CGI and honestly the film was just boring more than anything else. It doesn’t even have the distinction of being so bad it’s good like Sharknado or Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. It’s just bad, period.

I just hope we don’t see something similar happen to Starlight Express. Just think. Anthropomorphic, singing trains on roller skates. Shudder.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

Finally we have yet another cynical cash grab from Disney.

I confess I didn’t exactly go into The Rise Of Skywalker with an open mind. I was never all that keen on a sequel trilogy in the first place, and neither The Force Awakens nor The Last Jedi ever convinced me otherwise. Admittedly they weren’t bad movies. Just derivative and painfully uninspired, and I was expecting more of the same for Episode IX. What I got instead was quite possibly the worst Star Wars film since Attack Of The Clones. Yes, it’s that bad.

This film is very poorly made, filled with plot contrivances and logic holes galore. I lost count of the number of times the protagonists got into a dangerous situation because of Rey constantly wandering off like a confused toddler lost in a shopping mall. Oh and we finally find out who her parents were and it was quite a twist, but only because it was really stupid. Of course we didn’t see it coming because nobody would have guessed it would be something that moronic. I feel JJ Abrams’ stupid ‘mystery box’ philosophy is to blame for this. It’s derailed countless franchises before such as Lost and Cloverfield, and now Abrams has fucked up Star Wars because he’s obsessed with mystery for the sake of mystery and Disney are so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to plan an actual trilogy out properly beforehand. Instead they just wing it, making it up as they go along, which led to Rian Johnson ‘subverting our expectations’ and left Abrams desperately trying to pick up the pieces. 

In fact a lot of The Rise Of Skywalker seemed designed specifically to appease people of both sides of the wide chasm The Last Jedi had created. The roles of characters of colour like Finn and Rose were significantly reduced, Poe and Finn don’t end up together because of homophobia, but we do see two women kiss in the background of one two second shot that could easily be cut out when they release the film in China, Kylo Ren gets his stupid redemption even though he hasn’t fucking earned it, Lando Calrissian shows up for no fucking reason, Rey is given ‘flaws’ relating to her parentage in order to combat those accusing her of being a Mary Sue, but they’re the boring kind of flaws that don’t have any real impact on her character, and that ghastly ship Reylo is made canon even though it makes no sodding sense in the context of this movie, let alone the whole trilogy. They even go to the trouble of baiting us with a FinnRey romance before pulling the rug out from under us. Then, just to add insult to injury, the film retroactively ends up making the entire original trilogy completely pointless. All because Disney wanted more dollars to put in their Scrooge McDuck money bin.

The Rise Of Skywalker, and indeed the entire sequel trilogy, should serve as a cautionary tale against the dangers of hype and nostalgia. The reason The Force Awakens was successful wasn’t because it was a good movie (because lets be brutally honest here, it really fucking wasn’t). It was because it gave gullible Star Wars fans warm fuzzies because it reminded them of A New Hope whilst tempting them with the vague promise that things might get more interesting later on. And when that didn’t materialise, quelle surprise, the fanbase didn’t take it very well. I would love to think that this will serve as an important lesson for the future when people go and see Disney movies, but who am I kidding? I guarantee at some point we’re going to get Episodes X, XI and XII and we’ll have to go through this sorry process all over again.

So there we have it. The worst of 2019. May they rot forever in Satan’s rectum or wherever it is stories go to die. Tomorrow we’ll take a look at the other end of the spectrum. Yes it’s the Quill Seal Of Approval Awards! The best of the best! Who shall win? The suspense is killing me! Ooooh, I can’t wait! You’ll be there tomorrow, won’t you? Of course you will. How could you not?

[dmcdrabbles]

*slides you a nice, shiny red orb* 'ey fam you wanna fuck me up with something about the Reader being 100% totally-has-been-since-forever-in love with Nero, but dumb rowdy angel boy either doesn't see it or is with Kyrie?

I got this one SO long ago and it turned into The Mega Ficlet™ which is super exciting for me because even though it’s not that long, I’ve never written this much for a request before (or for most things lol). I think I just really like angst, even though I have much trouble expressing it (๑•́ ω •̀๑) I hope this sad enough lmfao

–

Pairings: Nero x Kyrie, onesided Nero x Male Reader

Summary:  Your best friend is getting married. Of course you’re happy for him. Why wouldn’t you be?

Word Count: 5,638

Warnings:  angst, recreational alcohol use, offscreen injury

——————————————————————————————

The summer after the Qlipoth was as hot as hell on Earth, the kind of summer that got everyone sluggish, running their daily routines at half-speed. Funny how so immediately after life-shattering disaster normalcy slides right back into place, as welcome as an old friend.

Three months have passed, and Redgrave was well into its repairs. Donations came pouring in from outside cities with the unspoken sentiment of “poor thing, but we would’ve done better”; benevolence with an undercurrent of superiority. Even the Devil May Cry crew- including Dante and his brother- had returned to something approaching ‘normal’, whatever that meant for people like them.

You, on the other hand- you had been benched for most of the past three months after a Behemoth had snapped your femur like a twig. Nico had offered to build you a new leg and seemed only mildly discouraged at your reminder that you didn’t plan to cut it off. It was the second big personal disaster of the year- the first being the Qlipoth roots pulverizing your apartment building, forcing you to move in with Nero and Kyrie. You hobbled around their place and felt like a goddamn burden most of the time. You practically begged the doctor to take your cast off.

Only three months gone and normal had slid back into place like one of Nico’s vinyls, spinning round and round and playing the same familiar tune. This one’s called ‘We’ll Be Fine’.

But disasters came in three for you, they always had.

“Okay, okay, slow down!” You yell, pressing your hands against your knees as you try to catch your breath. Ahead of you, Nero slows to a stop and whips around.

“Tired already, Y/N?” He taunts, laughing. “You’ve gotten soft since we left the Order.”

“I just got my cast off two days ago! I’m a normal amount of tired,” You pant, wiping sweat away from your forehead with both arms. Your right leg is throbbing with pain, but you try to keep your steps even. “You’re just too energetic.”

With the rubble cleared in Redgrave City and most of the populace trying to hide from the heat, most of the sidewalks were prime real estate for training. Whole long stretches for Nero to torture you back into shape with. Just like old times. He could always leave you in the dust, fucked-up leg or not.

“What’s got you so bouncy?” You manage, coughing into your wrist.

Nero’s face twists a little and he cups the back of his head, elbows up to the sky as he stretches. The tension in his face melts away as he contemplates, and you almost want to look away- there was just something so private about seeing him so unguarded. He carried the weight of all his stress in his knit brow and his tensed jaw; you haven’t seen him look this relaxed since before you left Fortuna.

“Hey, what’s that look for?” You ask, taking shaky steps to catch up to him. “You get some other new power I didn’t know about?”

“I wanted to talk to you about that,” Nero drops his arms, swings them a bit as you two start walking side by side. Nowadays it’s so obvious how much of a growth spurt he had- you can remember a time when Nero was so much shorter than you that the morning sun wouldn’t be shining behind his head like that. You have to squint just to look at him.

He rubs his nose, and you stiffen despite your exhaustion. Didn’t take a genius to know what that meant, just someone who knows him half as well as you do.

“About your new power?” You laugh, halfhearted. Weird how even emotional weight slows your footsteps these days. “Did you grow another arm or something?”

“Y/N,” He says, coming to a stop. You just keep walking, trying to keep the jaunt in your step. “I finally asked her.”

“Oh,”

“She said yes.” His voice is so soft.

Couldn’t have expected personal disaster number three to happen so fast. A chronic injury, chugging along with almost-ignorable pain just flaring up fast enough to floor you. Switch the vinyl, play another old song- this one’s called ‘Be Happy for Him’.

“Damn, Nero! Congrats!” You slap his shoulder, “You and Kyrie, getting married? Knew it had to happen eventually.”

A grin breaks out along Nero’s face, and he rubs his nose again. He wraps his arm around your side, yanking you up against his. Like this you barely have to use your bad leg and walking almost feels relaxing again. You’re so close you could tilt your head and rest it on his shoulder.

“We were hoping to have the wedding soon, maybe this month–”

“Why? Any pressing needs?” You joke, petting the air in front of you where a round belly would sit. Nero slaps your hand down.

“No!” He yelps, face red. “We just don’t know how long it’ll be before the next crisis, you know?”

That crease between his brows is back, eyes far off like he was still trying to see the future. Looking for some guarantee that they’d already suffered enough this year and could rest easy for once.

“I know.” You tell the sidewalk, as quietly as if its some kind of secret.

“We don’t exactly have a lot of people to invite, and we wanted something small.” He says, slowly. “About that…”

You round the corner together, finally reaching a part of the city with enough appeal for the people to brave the heat for. You two get more than your share of annoyed glances as passerby weave around the wide blockade you form with your entangled bodies. Nero barely seems to notice.  

“Y/N, you know how long we’ve known each other?”

“Iunno. Nine, ten years maybe?” You wrinkle your nose, thinking back. “All I remember is Credo bringing this little snot-nosed runt into training one day and saying that he was going to join us.”

“Runt?” Nero snorts, “I kicked your ass!”

“Only because you fought dirty!” You jab him in the side and he twists away from it, laughing. “Remember what Credo said when they pulled you off me?”

“'Holy Knights don’t start fistfights’?”

“God, so lame.” You shake your head, willing away the less cheery memories that latch themselves to your time in Fortuna. “So like, a decade. What about it?”

Nero pauses, and realization comes to you quickly. Is it entrapment if he’s got his arm hooked around your shoulders like that?

“You’re the closest friend I have, Y/N…”

Don’t ask this of me, you want to say. Instead you stare ahead, burning the memory of this street into your mind in third-person perspective. You wonder how many of the other people around you are feeling that chronic pain of heartache stabbing at them with every throb. It’s an invisible disease with no risk of mortality; the worst symptom is just a constant feeling of being the dumbest person you know.

“Will you be my best man at the wedding?”

“Really! ‘Will you be my best man’, he says.” You burst, laughing a bit. “You’re making this sound like another proposal! No need to be so formal!”

“You’re such a pain,” Nero grumbles, taking his arm off your shoulder and shoving you. An innocent passerby dodges you by an inch, tossing a dirty look over her shoulder at you. “Will you do it or not?”

“I,” You look at the ground, at the buildings, at the dozens of bystanders watching you squirm. “I think I’d make a pretty shitty best man. I don’t know anything about weddings, you know?”

“You’re not our wedding planner,” Nero protests, “Practically just a witness.”

“What if I don’t want to ‘witness’ you and Kyrie being all lovey-dovey as always?” You quip, trying to sound lighthearted.

“Please?” Nero grabs your hand, turning you around to face him. The two of you are taking up the entire sidewalk- you’re probably shoved once or six times, someone probably yelled at you- but it doesn’t even seem to matter. You stare at him, transfixed. You’re pretty sure you’ve never even heard him say ‘please’ before. “I want you there.”

God dammit. That’s not even fair.

“Okay.”

—

It’s three weeks before the wedding, and Nero’s picking out his tuxedo. You had feigned some horrified shock at the idea- you’d never seen someone force him into formal wear before, let alone seen him wear it willingly. You were half sure he asked you along just to spread the misery.

“If I knew the job meant giving you fashion tips, I would have charged you.” You grumble, shifting uncomfortably on the fitting area couch. Weird how they could spend so much money on interior decorating and still make the place so awful to stay in. Still, it was the only place that had managed not to get destroyed by the Qlipoth, so it wasn’t like you had many options.

“Right?” Nico drawled, foot kicking so fast it practically vibrates. She’s been on edge since the attendant confiscated her cigarettes. She sticks out against the artistic monochrome of the store like a tattooed sore thumb. She leans full on against you, the literal to your metaphor of leaning on her. It’s easier to tamp down the melodrama with her crowing in your ear every other minute. “Maybe the wedding should be trash bag themed. Kyrie would still look cute.”

“Oi, quiet out there!” Nero calls from the other side of the stall. “Nico, what’re you even doing here? You’re a bridesmaid!”

“Maid of Honor,” Nico corrected, “And you need all the fashion help you can get. Now are you coming out here, or what?”

The dressing room creaks open loudly, and Nero takes his first step out. If you didn’t know better, you’d say he looks almost…sheepish. You’ve never seen him look like that before, and it hits you with a sudden rush of wondering how many other sides of him you’ll never see.

At the beat of silence he spins around and looks at himself in the hallway mirror. He seems so much taller and broader in a suit- he’s nearly as big as Dante now and he looks it.

“Nero, you look…” You start hesitantly. The pause could last a second or an hour and you wouldn’t know any better- it’s unbearable. And punctuated with a loud slap as Nico smacks your thigh with her open palm, jolting you out of your seat as you wheel on her with wide eyes. It throbs in familiar pain again and you clutch it mindlessly.

“Damn, Nero! You ain’t look half bad when you’re cleaned up!” Nico locks eyes with you, a broad grin on her face. “You tell him, Y/N!”

“Right!” You blurt, following her lead. “Never would’ve guessed you’d look so good in a suit.”

Nero glances at you over his shoulder, smile softening his features back into that unfamiliar little boyish look. The wedding date’s barreling towards him and Kyrie faster than Nico in her van, but every day his face seems to hold that unguarded bliss for a little bit longer.

“Good thing, I don’t think Kyrie would have wanted me to get married in street clothes.” He turns back to face the mirror, tugging the hem of his suit again like he’s not used to jackets that fit right. “You don’t think the blue is too much?”

“It brings out your eyes.” You explain. You had picked it off the rack for him with that in mind. Nero’s eyes meet yours in the mirror for a moment, and you wonder if you can play off that softness in your voice for some sort of sentimentality.  

My best friend is getting married to the love of his life and I get to be there for every second of it. I’m so happy I could just die.

“Thanks. I guess this one’s probably it then, huh?” Nero looks down at the suit again, pinching it off his body to look at the fabric. It really is a good match, and you tuck away the little factoid that you’ve spent so much time staring into Nero’s eyes that you’ve memorized their lovely grey-blue.

“You don’t even wanna try the one I picked out?” Nico pouts. She pulls a half-smoked cigarette from her shirt pocket and sets it between her teeth. “Fine, fine, go on and change. We’ll see y'out front.”

Nico has the decency to wait for Nero to get back in the stall before she accosts you. She grabs your arm and yanks you up from your seat, dragging you around the corner and behind the racks of suits. These ones are so expensive you don’t have to worry about customers coming by. How clever. Her fingers are like daggers in your bicep when she spins you around.

“Nico? What the hell are you-”

“Okay, listen here.” She whispers, stabbing your chest with one of her little dagger fingers. Her cigarette stays surprisingly steady between her pursed lips. “I know what’s goin’ on with you-”

“There’s nothing going on with me,” You whisper back, slapping her finger down and rubbing your bruised pec. Your heart races under your palm.

“Hey, hey, shut it!” Her voice climbs until an attendant looks over, and she drops it back down into a conspiratorial whisper. “Trust me when I say I feel for you, but you can’t be doin’ none of that-” She clasps her hands together and flutters her eyelashes at you, then snaps back into a stern pout, “Around him, y'know?”

You open your mouth, then close it. Who cares. I’m already obvious.

“I’m not doing it on purpose.” You whisper, and Nico has to lean in even closer to hear you.

“Well of course you ain’t,” Nico slaps you in the arm, glancing around the corner to make sure Nero’s still in his changing stall. “Nobody’s looking that tragic on purpose.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime. Listen,” Nico’s voice drops into a more serious tone, and somehow it makes you nervous. “I’m gonna help you out here. You work with me, and we’re gonna get out of this with minimal damage. It’s a goddamn miracle Nero ain’t already noticed the little crush you got on him, homewrecker.”

The relief drops back down into the pit it rose from. She might as well have slapped you, would’ve been just as funny and hurt less.

“I’m not a fucking hom-” The dressing room door’s creaking cuts you off, and Nico snaps away from you faster than you can finish your sentence. Nero whistles lowly as he turns the corner, suit folded over one arm and lifting the price tag.

“Damn, Y/N. You really know how to pick 'em. This suit’s the most expensive thing I’ll own.” He sighs and let the tag hang, looking up at you and Nico for a moment. He double takes the expensive suits around you, face pulling into a wince. “I am not trying any of those on.”

It’s two weeks before the wedding, and Nero is practicing old drills with you. You never would have thought he’d be the one to suggest it- back when you two were teenagers he hated those drills more than anyone else you knew. Not that it meant his form was ever sloppy; he just played fast and loose with the rules and his sparring never suffered for it. You, on the other hand, had found comfort in the repetition of the exercises; you would practice them over and over until they stuck in your head like ‘Be Happy For Him’.“I can’t believe you still remember all the steps,” Nero mumbled into his shirt, lifted to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He had shoved Red Queen tip-down into the dirt and you had to stifle the old habit of nagging him about it. No officers to get in trouble with anymore. “I did the drills a lot more than you did.” You snort, starting up the drill again from the top. It was nice to know your body could still make the motions. “Never saw the point in them. Nobody fights like,” Nero picks up Red Queen and copies the four steps of the starting drill, “You follow that pattern every time, you’re gonna get your ass kicked by the first person who notices it.”You roll your eyes. “That’s not what the drill is for, which you’d know if you listened to our instructors.” You switch up the first drill halfway, changing to the end part of the third drill then back to the top of the second. “It’s so you know how to respond to your opponent and always have something to fall back on. And for good blade control.”Nero stops your sword with his own, stepping up in front of you so you can see his skeptical look. “So you just go back to the old moves one way or another. But people and demons don’t exactly fight fair. What happens when you get something you don’t have a drill for?”“That’s what the control is for.” You push down Nero’s sword and straighten yourself back into your familiar sparring stance. “Wanna test it out?”“Thought you’d never ask.” Nero grins, spins Red Queen just to show off. “You gonna be good on that leg?”To answer you dash forward, sword flashing in a flurry of sweeps you already know Nero will dodge. Using unblunted weapons is a bad idea, especially at this speed, but you and Nero spend more time practicing with real blades than fake ones anyway. He recognizes the drill as expected and brings Red Queen down by his legs in anticipation of the final slash. You feint away at the last second, whipping your blade back and starting up a different drill; this one presses him to retreat back step by step.He doesn’t even try to attack. Maybe he can see the slight stumble in your bad leg, maybe he knows you’ve never favored your left so strongly before. You stop your drill halfway again and instead make a slash around his head so fast that he stumbles back afterward, a ‘what the hell?’ popping out of his mouth just as a tiny lock of his fringe falls to the floor. “Your cut was a little uneven,” You explain, mouth curling up into a half-smile. “Blade control.”Nero huffs and shrugs, ruffling the front of his hair for a moment and starting to turn away. At the last second, the dull side of Red Queen sweeps the back of your good knee and you crash to the ground with a yelp. Nero stabs Red Queen into the ground beside your head, plants one black boot next to it, and leans over you with a smirk. “Fighting dirty.”

—

It’s one week before the wedding, and you’re sitting at the kitchen table making wedding decorations. The original plan was just flowers scattered everywhere- Nero and Kyrie both loved them- but bouquets were too expensive for a Devil Hunter’s budget. So origami it was.

“Done.” Trish announced, dropping one last flawless stalk of paper leaves onto the table. You had been skeptical about Kyrie’s choice to enlist Trish and Lady with the decorations, but one glance at their work had you eating your words- they were damn good at this. “Do you need help with the roses?”

You exchanged a look with Nero, staring at each other and then the messes you two are making out of the paper. You laugh and slide over a stack of paper. “Yes, please.”

“So, Y/N, how are you holding up?” Lady asks after a moment of working in silence. Your eyes flick to Nico for a second and she raises her hands up defensively, like she expects you to attack her with some delicate handmade decorations.

“Uh,” You accidentally rip one of the petals you’re working on and you curse under your breath. “What do you mean?”

Lady looks between the two of you for a moment, mouth twisting into an amused half-smile. “Your leg?”

“Oh. It’s fine.” You flex your leg out as if to test it again. It responds with a resounding throb of pain. “Would be even better, if somebody didn’t decide to clothesline me with his sword.”

“Come on, I barely hit you.” Nero grumbles, waving away Lady’s dubious look without glancing up from his rose. He’s starting to get the hang of it.

“I figure after the ego bruises heal I can get started on finding a new place.” You continue, just as Kyrie walks in with the snacks for everyone. She stops short, mouth falling open in surprise just as Nero turns to you with an almost identical expression. It would be funny if it wasn’t directed at you.

“Y/N, I didn’t know you planned on moving out so soon!” Kyrie starts up again, placing food and drinks on the table as she watches you with a strangely worried look.

“Ah, well,” You take your drink and gulp it down to spare yourself some time. “After the wedding I thought it would be nice for you and Nero to have the place to yourselves.”

Nero pulls his mouth in a tight line. “We’re not gonna kick you out.”

“You don’t have to,” You say, awkwardly. “I just think it’s going to be awkward having an extra roommate around.” And I can’t pay my share of the rent if I can’t fight anymore.

“You’re always welcome with us,” Kyrie smiles gently, until Nico groans loudly and makes her jump.

“Aw, come on. Don’t make it weird for’im.” Nico crosses her arms, locking eyes with you and nodding just the slightest bit. “He’s just too nice to say he wants his own place again.”

Lady and Trish’s eyes ping-pong between the four of you, watching the argument unfolding with mild amusement. You drop your own gaze to the table to avoid locking eyes with anyone.

“Well, you can stay with us in the meantime,” Kyrie pipes in. “At least until you get back on your feet?”

“Nah,” Nico fills in for you again, “Because he’s gonna be stayin’ with me.”

—

It’s the night before the wedding, and Nero is sitting with you at the bar. He’s trying to salvage something more relaxed out of this bachelor’s party that he didn’t really want, and you’re doing your best to help. Dante’s plan to “show up at the bar and see what happens’ combined with the only guests being the groom, the uncle, the estranged father, and the lovesick best friend is turning about as well as could be hoped.

“He didn’t,” Nero sounded horrified, but a grin was stretched wide across his face.

“I’m serious!” You insisted, shouting over the music and the chatter all around you. You took another cautious glance all around- you hadn’t seen Dante for well over an hour, but you still felt the need to check. “He said ‘if we can’t take Nero to the strip club, we’re taking the strip club to him’. Word for word.”

“Noooo,” Nero moaned, his entire upper body melting onto the bar even as he shook with laughter. His grip stayed firm around his beer though- he learned well from the last one. “Stripper nuns, though? The hell does he think I’m into?”

“I was afraid to ask,” You take another gulp of your own drink, eyes falling closed to savor the way the alcohol seemed to turn even your anxiety into a pleasant blur.

“How the hell did you talk him out of it?” Nero asks the bar, blindly wiping the condensation off his beer glass.

“Told him he could bring stripper nuns to my bachelor party someday.” You lean your face on your hand, watching Nero’s back shake again. You were pretty sure he was giggling. “It’s hard being a martyr.”

“Martyr?” Nero turns his head, pillowing it on his forearm as he smiles at you. God, he’s so drunk. “You’re my guardian angel.”

“At your service,” You salute sarcastically. The conversation lulls and you rest your chin on your hand, glancing around the room. When you look back down at Nero, he’s still watching you. His smile has faded back into something thoughtful. “What?”

“You finished packing up this morning, right?” Nero mumbles, head bobbing slightly with his words.

“Yeah. Nico already picked up my stuff, so I’m staying with her tonight.” You tap your fingers against your glass. “She offered to start teaching me her gunsmithing too.”

At that, Nero sits back up. “Really? You gonna have to pay an apprenticeship fee or something?”

“Pff, no.” You stare at your glass. “But I’ll be joining her side of the business. For now, at least.”

Nero stares at you for a second, mouth open. “The hell? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Uh, sorry?” You twirl your cup, face twisting into a grimace. “I’m just testing it out for now.”

“Jeez. You’re leaving devil hunting and I’m getting married. What a year.” He sips his beer. “You excited?”

You look at Nero for a moment, not sure how to answer. How do you say ‘I’d rather it all stay the same forever’ without sounding as pathetic as you feel?

The bartender saves you, sliding up to offer refills. You accept, and she turns to Nero.

“I’m still working on it,” Nero sits up, drunk grin relaxing back into that soft expression he got so often lately. “We probably shouldn’t drink too much before tomorrow.”

“Special occasion?” The bartender asks, sliding your drink to you and picking up your old glass to clean it out. You take it in big gulps, a medicine for the upcoming repetitive conversation- you’ve heard people ask Nero about it so many times you can’t stand to be sober for it this time.

“Wedding.” Nero grins. The bartender whoops and tops off his beer.

“Finally some good news in this city. Everyone’s so damn depressing lately.” The bartender picks up a clean glass, clinks it against yours and Nero’s cups in turn. “Congrats, you two!”

The warmth in your stomach cools, then freezes. You fumble, exchange a glance with Nero. “Oh, I’m not–”

“He’s the best man,” Nero explains, red up to his ears. “I’m marrying someone else.”

“Oh,” The bartender says, sounding genuinely surprised. “Sorry, you were just looking at each other all puppy-eyed-”

“Where’s your bathroom?” You interrupt, and you must look queasy because she hands you a plastic bag from under the counter even as she points to the back corner. The second your bad leg takes your weight it crumples under you, and Nero’s arm shoots out to hold you up. You twist out of his grip.

“I’m good, I’m good-” You assure him as you stumble off, not caring who you bump into, breathing hard into the plastic bag. People sober enough to see the way you heave part way for you, clearing a decent path to the bathroom. You shove the door open as hard as you can. To your irritation, it doesn’t even make a peep. You scan the room- empty. You run into a stall. You fall to your knees in front of the toilet bowl.

And you let out a sob.

It echoes through the bathroom, multiplying until it almost feels as loud and as crushing as it feels. You grip the bowl and empty your tears into it, whole body curling into itself tighter and tighter like you can make yourself so small and weak that the pain will leave, satisfied. Every sob forces its way out of you violently. Let it out, you tell yourself sarcastically, the same way you would if you really had just vomited into the bowl like you were supposed to.

You don’t know how long you kneel there, only that by the time you finally roll onto your ass your knees are numb. You’re still crying but at least the roaring in your ears has died down enough for you to hear your phone vibrating against the tile. It must’ve fallen out of your pocket. You glance down, eager to shut it off, but it’s slid far into another stall and you practically have to crawl into it to pick the phone up. At least the gaps under the stalls are massive.

Two notifications- a text from Nero (‘you ok?’) and an incoming call. “NICO” flashes across the screen. Right. She was supposed to be picking you all up.

“Finally you answer!” Nico yells into the phone, and you wince away from it. “You know how many times I’ve been callin’ you, dummy?”

“Sorry,” You whisper into the phone. Another sob shakes you, and you cover your mouth. Too late.

“Hey, you doin’ okay?” Her voice is so much softer than usual and it makes another sob bubble up out of you.

“I’m so tired of this, Nico.” You whisper, voice taking on a harsh edge as you grit your teeth. “I can’t do this.”

“Hey, hey, hey lover-boy, it’s just one more day. One more day and this shit’s over and done with.”

“It’s not!” You hiss, drawing your knees up tight to your chest. When your voice comes out again, it’s rising louder and louder. For a second the music in the bar seems to climb with your voice, then it’s damped down again. “It’s not done tomorrow! Tomorrow is the ‘first day of the rest of their lives’,” Your voice breaks in a half-crazed, exhausted laugh, “And I’m so happy for them! Nobody in the world deserves it more than they do! I should know, I’ve been by their sides for almost a fucking decade!”

“Listen–”

“We don’t have the Order anymore, we don’t have Fortuna anymore, but they have each other and Nero is so, so happy with her.” You have to pause, overwhelmed by another breath-stealing shudder, “I would never want to hurt Nero. I want him to be happy.” Your whole body seems to relax at once, ragdolling you against the stall. “I just wish he could be happy with me.”

“Listen, lover-boy,” Nico starts, but you don’t hear the rest. Through the bottom gap in the stall you can see a pair of black boots, standing motionless just a few feet away. They turn slowly, and by the time you have the stall open he’s gone.

—

It’s the day of the wedding. They planned it for the evening, just a simple ceremony in a simple place with a small group of people and a simple reception. The details blur together like you’re still drunk. Nero hasn’t spoken to you since last night, and you can’t tell whether it’s deliberate. On their wedding day, grooms rarely have time to chat, let alone confront their best man on what they may or may not have heard the night before.

As planned, you and Nico walk the aisle together to your spots. You’re too slow for the music and you know it, but you’re not used to your new cane yet and you haven’t gotten the right rhythm to support your steps with it yet. Nico stayed up late crafting it for you, said you couldn’t just keep fucking up your bad leg by walking on it as much as you do. She’s working overtime to act like you’re just hungover instead of emptied out from an emotional breakdown, and when you can feel present again you’ll be sure to thank her. Until then you stand behind Nero, face schooled into a smile.

How far back would you have to go to save yourself from this feeling? The moment you accepted your role as best man? The moment Nero told you he was getting married? Your choice to follow them after the crisis in Fortuna? The day you and Nero were sworn into The Order? The day you met him?

How many years would you erase to stop yourself from being here this day, this time, standing at Nero’s side and knowing the fact it was a place no longer reserved for you?

Had it ever been?

Nero looks back at you over his shoulder, brow creased up in that soft expression that has gotten so familiar over this past month. Not a sign of fear or regret. It was the face he made when those butterflies fluttered in his stomach, when he told you about being with Kyrie, about the future he wanted together with her. A face that said he couldn’t wait for the future.

But his eyes are sad. And you have to wonder what that means.

He turns as the music started for her walk down the aisle. So beautiful in white, the fabric of her veil fluttering behind her almost reminiscent of Nero’s wings. She glows in the sunlight. The smile on her face crumples into an overwhelmed grin as she looks up the aisle to her groom and his best man, both of whom stood there with faces wet with tears.

As Kyrie and Nero step into each other’s spaces they bubble off the world around them. No pretenses between them, no expectations, just hands meeting and a whisper under Nero’s breath of her name, spoken like the most intimate word in the world.

And you stand there privy to it, like a voyeur to joy that was never meant for you or your ears.

Tonight, tomorrow, a week from now, a year, you can rebuild yourself into something that you hate a little less. You reassemble yourself just like Redgrave City has, piece by piece. You can play that familiar tune “We’ll Be Fine”, because you will be.

But for today? Today you witness their first kiss as husband and wife, and you stumble a little when you let go of your cane to applaud.