#god... emotion really is THE yearning album

[yoggybloggy]

"...and so that Jepsen's music is not the kind of pop music that relentlessly desires a body means that desire itself is the body. Desire is the living thing at the end of the tunnel waiting with open arms and to some, I imagine this isn't a happy ending. Wanting leading into more wanting isn't exactly a neatly-tied ribbon but it is a certainty. I will wait tomorrow the desire for something I cannot have, and even if I can have it, I will chase the idea of not being able to have it until I find something else fleeting. [...] It's a discredit to Jepsen's ability to speak of the feelings she brings forth without at least imagining the idea that she knows exactly what she is doing, that she's figured out a simple math: once that you've caught that which you desire, the story is less interesting. She gives us instead a never-ending chase where the only thing to fall in love with is the idea of falling in love."

Tell a Friend That You're in Love With Them Tonight: on "Your Type", by Hanif Abdurraqib (source)

[agentstarkid]

SAUDADE ✦ DR3

“Saudade” is a Portuguese word that carries a profound and complex meaning, often described as a deep emotional state of longing or nostalgia. It transcends mere language; it's a state of being, an emotion that seeps into the soul and lingers like an echo in the heart. It encompasses a mix of emotions, including melancholy, yearning, and a sense of emptiness, often accompanied by fond memories of past experiences or relationships. In the context of love, "saudade" captures the bittersweet essence of missing someone deeply, even when they are physically present or long after they are gone. It is the ache of the heart that comes from loving and losing, a poignant reminder of the depth of connection and the enduring power of love's impact on our lives.

✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ type: social media au

✦ fc: becky g

✦ warnings: female!reader, latina!reader, age gap, language, lots of angst, heartbreak, drama, internet meanies, mentions of mental health struggles, assholes.

✦ pit wall live: uh holi, loves 👀 sorry for the delay, but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter 👀 it's a little short but as present for not posting in March, I present to you: a bonus chapter hehe okay, byeeee *runs away as fast as she can*

─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)

JANUARY 1, 2022

yourinstagram

📍 Latinoamérica

liked by danielricciardo, badbunnypr, rubendias and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram Starting the New Year on a bright note! ✨ Wearing yellow to channel optimism and positive energy as we dive into this new year. 💛 I'm so so so grateful for all the love and support you've shown me throughout the past year and I'm excited to continue this journey together in 2022. Here's to another year of growth, laughter, and cherished memories! Siempre para adelante, mi gente! 🎉

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danielricciardo Mi reina ❤️‍🔥

user1 I wanted to take this space to thank you for the happiness you have brought me over the years. Your music or your works of art have been a constant company in moments of joy, sadness and everything in between. Your talent is enormous, but so is your ability to connect with your fans in a unique way. Your humility and gratitude show that, despite the success, you are still a close and authentic person. Thanks for all that you do!

camila_cabello Good god woman have mercy

kylieminogue you are sensationally exquisite 💛✨

xtina my angel ❤️

user2 jawline could cut a diamond 🥶

user3 muy buena artista pero sobrevalorada respecto a su belleza, y no digo que no sea guapa sino sobrevalorada

user4 you could wear the rainbow if you wanted and that would still not make you relevant or give you any talent

user5 she always tries too hard

user6 watch out for Regina George in sheep's clothing

anitta Feliz ano novo para você Rainha 😘

diplo 💛

user7 the fact that they spent new year's day apart and on different sides of the world speaks volumes

user what? that they both wanted to see their families? grow up

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yourinstagram has added to their story!

⥂ translation: Everything I do and comes out of me it's because I'm feeling it, it's okay if no one else feels the same way. Two people can never ever feel the same at the same time.

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JANUARY 16, 2022

danielricciardo

📍 Perth, Australia

liked by yourinstagram, heidiberger_, natalie_pinkham and 1,562 others

danielricciardo Back seat baby seat bangers 🎶

tagged: yourinstagram

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yourinstagram this is all anyone needs to have a great day ❤️ please send me his manager's contact, I've been looking for a male backing vocal for my next album and I think he can be the perfect choice 😌

danielricciardo yourinstagram ah, you see, he's a really sought-after artist so he's super busy. But I know his uncle and he's interested on the job, only thing is that he likes to be paid with kisses 💋😏 yourinstagram danielricciardo tell him to contact me, I think we will be able to work out the payment details soon 😌

yourinstagram btw how is it possible that he's that big now if I saw him like yesterday and he was this 🤏🏽 small 🥺❤️

user1 is the copying the hand movements for me 😂❤️

user2 so this is how Y/N's future is gonna look like 👀

userA all that's missing is the ring 👀 userB yeah danielricciardo stop being lazy my friend 👀

user3 you're gonna be a great dad one day ❤️🥺

♥ yourinstagram has liked this comment

user4 siempre dije que no quiero ser mamá, pero después de ver esto... yourinstagram mi reina quién pudiera ser vos 😮‍💨

user5 coisa mais linda! ❤️

user6 Daniel really sang his heart out to that song lmao

user7 you have really shit taste in music mate

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FEBRUARY 4, 2022

yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo, keleighteller, natalie_pinkham and 1,238,562 others

yourinstagram Te amo con el alma, porque el alma nunca muere ❤️ happy 2 years, mi Danielito 🥰

⥂ translation: I love you with my whole soul, because the soul never dies ❤️

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danielricciardo My forever partner in crime ❤️

user1 cuide a ese hombre yourinstagram, que tu y yo no somos amigas 🫡

user2 oh God I'm so single 😩

mileycyrus so much love and happiness for you both ❤️❤️❤️

user3 THAT LAST PHOTO IT'S GIVING I'D MARRY YOU WITH PAPER RINGS 😭 SO 1 + 1 = THEY ARE GETTING ENGAGED‼️‼️

userA I'm so calling it, it is happening 🤩

user4 LIL BLAKE SIGHTING 😍😍😍

hermusicofficial favs

user5 she was talking seriously when she recorded A mi me gustan mayores 😅

userA será que aplica el "A mí me gustan más grandes. Que no me quepa en la boca..." con él?? 👀👀👀 yourinstagram userA los besos que quiera darme? 👀 sí, aplica 🤭😈 userB OMFG Y/N???!!! LMAOOO iamdannaschwarz yourinstagram that's enough internet for you today 🙅🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

chloestroll did he really cook? 😂

yourinstagram chloestroll he did! and it was really good actually 🥰 I felt ✨spoiled✨

oliviarodrigo mom and dad 💜

user6 the first pic is making me feel something. i don't know how to put that something into words though 🥵 *bi panics*

userA JUST A BIG FUCKING OOF I GUESS 🥵 userB they served cunt as per usual userC I grunted and groaned and moaned 🫠😩

user7 I'm so tired of them omg yeah, you're "in love", we see you, now stop shoving it at our faces every chance you have 🙄

fioamato congrats Sandy and Danny 😜💖

iamdannaschwarz Baby and Danny 😜💖 itsvittoriasousa nah, more like Troy and Gabriella landonorris Belle and the Beast 😜 yourinstagram landonorris aww did littol landow nowis just called me beautiful? 👀😊 landonorris nvm I take it back. Fiona and Shrek* 😌 yourinstagram landonorris well that makes you the donkey 😂

user8 every time I remember that there's a 9 year gap between them I wanna puke 🤮

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danielricciardo

liked by yourinstagram, martingarrix, landonorris and 1,562 others

danielricciardo happy 2 years mi vida ❤️

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user "mi vida" brb gonna go chew on a live wire 😭

yourinstagram let's do this for a lifetime ❤️♾️

danielricciardo you have yourself a deal, Chip ❤️

user2 hey God, it's me again...

martingarrix ❤️❤️❤️

user3 these adorable videos ending with daniel squeezing y/n's butt is so dan-y/n core 🥹😝

marcusstoinis congrats, lovebirds ❤️

user4 did they leave their own love lock on the fence? 🥹😭

userA I don't think we'll ever find it, but I'm sure they did 😭

landonorris congrats on putting up with him this long yourinstagram ❤️

joshallenqb 🍾❤️

user5 somethin something "find a beautiful love, make sure they know they are your morning light" playing while the sunset iluminates her and cutting to "and that you'll never let go till the day that you die" while he has his arms around her 😭😭😭

userA THIS HERE IS LOVE 😭 THIS HERE IS LIFE 😭 userB something something he's got a tattoo of that song's title 😭 userC somebody get me a fucking doctor I feel like my heart is about to burst

scottyjames31 my favorite celebrity couple 😌

caamp we love you guys ❤️

user5 grandpa copping a feel 🤢

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FEBRUARY 10, 2022

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FEBRUARY 22, 2022

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MARCH 8, 2022

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MARCH 9, 2022

danielricciardo

liked by mclaren, georgerussell63, heidi_berger and 584,981 others

danielricciardo Better this week than next… Unfortunate to miss the test, but I’m starting to feel better. I’ll stay isolated and just focus on next weekend. Big thanks to Lando & McLaren for the heavy lifting, I owe you some beers (milk for Lando). Appreciate the well wishes from everyone as well.

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landonorris get well soon mate!

georgerussell63 speedy recovery danny ric 💪🏻

user did you and Y/N broke up??? please tell me it's a lie

user2 Y/N hasn't liked nor comment yet and it's been 2 whole days since he posted this

userA why whould she? they are quarantining together, she doesn't need to comment or liked every single post he makes. They are probably sitting side by side right now userB userA there's actually rumours that she was seen leaving the hotel in a rush yesterday and fans are already speculating if they broke up

user3 I hope you feel better soon Dan! I know we all wish to see you in action next weekend!!

user4 "milk for Lando" lmaooo i love them your honor <3

user5 this is your year mate don't let any setbacks bring you down 💪🏻

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MARCH 18, 2022

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MARCH 25, 2022

f1wags

liked by 3,474 others

f1wags It seems Danny Ricc has moved on quickly 👀 Just after a week since the confirmation of his break up with Y/N, a few fans have reported sightings of the driver with actress Heidi Berger —who has been linked to him a few times these past months— around Monaco.

The blonde is the daughter of former Austrian F1 driver Gerhard Berger and former Portuguese model Ana Corvo.

This love triangle drama just keeps getting juicier and more complicated! 🔥 What are you thoughts, did the Aussie cheated on his ex-girlfriend as some people say? Did he moved on too fast? or did he do the right thing? Let us know in the comments!

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user I actually feel bad for Y/N, not a fan of hers at all but it must be hard to see the man you were talking of marriage with a month ago, move on from your relationship so quickly and easily. if it were me in her shoes, I know it'd really mess my head up 😕

user2 idc if he'd not been with Heidi physically while being with Y/N, it's still treason to be emotionally involved with someone else while you're in a relationship. I believe he already had feelings for Heidi while still being with Y/N because how the fuck can you move on from a whole 2-year relationship in two weeks?? I only hope Y/N is doing okay and that she gets to heal and find someone better for her 😞

user3 you can try to defend him with all the arguments you can think of but at the end of the day, he is still just a rich man. It's funny how you've been all pointing fingers at the innocent while playing lawyer to the guilty.

user4 I'm a Danny Ricc fan but I think this was too fast too soon, at least have some respect for your ex who stood by your side through the highs and lows of the past years, smh so disappointed

user5 Get over it already! He moved on to someone better, as he should. Let the poor man alone! He's been single for weeks! He's allowed to see anyone he wants! Stop whining about it, Y/N just wasn't enough, as simple as that 🤷🏽‍♀️

user6 I'm actually super worried for him, he's not himself lately. Just a few weeks ago he was calling Y/N the love of his life and now this? All jokes aside, I think he's self-sabotaging. He looks like a shell of his old-self, he is not smiling as bright as before, he's super quiet now and if you pay attention to him during interviews, he fidgets a lot and sounds so insecure when asked about his driving. GO TO THERAPY BABE!!!

userA you are reaching, babe! lmaoooo he's fine, he just got tired of that snake 🤪

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APRIL 2, 2022

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APRIL 22, 2022

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MAY 3, 2022

danielricciardo

liked by corey_wilson, michaelitaliano, mclaren and 269,852 others

danielricciardo Miami. We made it.

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user i guess this is the confirmation we've been waiting for

user2 how can you move on from a 2 year relationship so fast??

user3 ugh men are so fucking unbelievable

userA jokes on all those whiny fangirls of his, turns out it wasn't he who deserved better, it was HER.

user4 he is a joke just like his driving lmao

user5 Heidi is so much better than that wannabe singer, she was just a plaything for him 🤣

user6 I'm so glad you opened up your eyes daniel

user7 so all those rumours have been true smh y'all were attacking Y/N nonestop for the smallest interactions with the opposite sex, and none of those rumours proved to be true but I'm not seeing the same energy directed towards him now that the rumours about him were actually true!

user8 I just know that the break up album is gonna be a banger 🔥🤪

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MAY 10, 2022

yourinstagram has added to their story!

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JUNE 19, 2022

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⇥ youtube search: falling (harry & y/n's duet version) - love on tour, london night 1

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JUNE 22, 2022

yourinstagram

liked by markhoppus, phoebebridgers, rubendias and 2,145,873 others

yourinstagram burned other memories just to make room for these ones 🎞️❤️‍🔥

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user HI MOTHER!! WELCOME BACK WE MISSED YOU ❤️❤️❤️

user1 we love to see you living your best life!!! 🥰

user2 Can't wait to listen to the full version of the song she plays on the last slide 🤩

userA Daniel Ricciardo is shaking in his boots right now 🤪

machinegunkelly 🖤🥀🤘🏼

user3 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

markhoppus kid what are you holding on your lap and why it isn't on my liquor shelf yet? 🤨

yourintagram sorry dad 😔 it's on its way to your doorstep right now 🤪 skyehoppus yourintagram make sure you are also included on the package arriving at our door, it's been too long honey ❤️ userA “dad”??? she knows mark hoppus?? what did i miss?? 😳 userB userA they have an on-going joke that mark found her wandering around and adopted her as one of the few blink-182's children along alex gaskarth and jack barakat from all time low 😂 she's super close with his family, too! I remember she collab on a song with him, but they didn't released it and then it got leaked, she did play it at a couple of concerts tho userC userB is it 'thank you & goodnight'? 👀 userB userC YES! I miss her pop-punk era 😔 that version she did of 'little lion man' was soooo good!!

user4 Baby Iza is on her way to hit a bitch (Daniel)

alexalbon I like pizza too 👀🍕

lilymhe sorry baby, bad bitches only 💅🏻

user5 OMG OMG WE'VE GOT HARRY, TAYLOR AND Y/N IN ONE POST?! THE HOLY TRINITY RIGHT THERE 😍

harrystyles ❤️

user6 I've got my two mothers in one photo 😭❤️

taylorswift Ms. Falls-a-lot 👻❤️

yourinstagram I swear I'm gonna scare you too next time 🙄😂

lilymhe walking among legends on this post 🙇🏻‍♀️ #blessed 🙏🏻

user6 I'm so happy that she's finally back ❤️ we need to flood her comment section with love 🥰

user7 Drama queen of this generation. Always playing the victim & tricking people into thinking that she's a mental health advocate. You're way too far from that. Cancel her 👍🏻🐍

user8 the caption: ICONIC 🔥

userA the taxi driver is twisting on his grave 😂🤪

user9 the old Y/N can't come to the phone right now, why? Oh 'cause she's DEAD! 😎

user10 most untalented celeb ever

fioamato where was my invitation? 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz

iamdannaschwarz you got one, you just decided to ditch us for mr. i-have-an-art-gallery 🤨 yourinstagram iamdannaschwarz yessss expose her, dannita! 🤭 No te hagas de la víctima, mi corazón. We've got the receipts 😎🧾 fioamato I hate you both 🙄

user11 you should be ashamed to post a photo holding a tequila bottle when so many young people follow you. You should be a role model to them, not another alcoholic celebrity 🙄

user12 babygirl I hope you are doing better and feeling great! You deserve so much more ❤️

userA she's as fabulous as ever while he's floping big time, I call that karma 💅 userB not many people know how to truly appreciate the unique sazón and sabor of a Latina 🔥 homeboy couldn't handle the heat 🤭

user13 I know that album is gonna be 🔥🔥🔥

user14 attention seeker no wonder you always get dump for someone better

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JUNE 30, 2022

Video — CLEAN SHEET KINGS | STONES & DIAS

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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡

[sleekervae]

Yoü & I [2.4]

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Nov 1st everyone! Spooky season is over, my cold is gone and I have a renewed energy to push out some more overdue content while on my reading break. Hope you all enjoy and don't forget to like, comment and reblog ;)

Warnings: mentions of depression, abandonment, attachment issues, family drama

"You see all the world to believe

That there's a lot inside of me But it's time that I'll come clean I'm not what I seem, no Some would say I'm possessed, yeah But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed With life and death and emptiness, I guess Can't you see all of the change in me?You took these starving limbs, try to see Try to see what they could be I thought it would be something I thought you'd complete me That you'd erase all the pain that I felt in my brain If you fill my heart with love Then you'd fill my voids above

And now you see I didn't change a thing"

Maria listened to the recording word-for-word, her heart breaking with every sorrowful note Charlotte sang. She knew Charlotte was a little fragile, but hearing this made her fret beyond words. 

Charlotte meanwhile sat on Maria's bed, clutching her velvet body pillow as she patiently awaited Maria's critiques. Maria pulled the headset off and pushed away from her desk, staring at Charlotte with overwhelming concern.

"That's really fucking deep," she gasped, "When did you write this?"

"Last night," Charlotte admitted, "I got a little drunk and... then I got creative," 

It was evident she was changing, using her complex emotions to weave lyrical mastery. Maria was beyond impressed, she was also scared for her. 

Maria got up from the desk chair and came to sit with her friend on the bed, holding her tightly. She was spooked, Charlotte had a side to her that was much darker and heavier than any of the girls had witnessed during their first EP and album. Maria wanted desperately to take all complexities away, yearning for the days when they'd tease Charlotte about her and Luke's friendship and when Charlotte would tell them all to buzz off. She remembered Charlotte being happier, lighter a year and a half ago.

But she also wasn't happy then, either.

God knew how many mountains it would take before Charlotte would finally find the happiness and peace she wanted. And it was clear that what was once a cute and platonic friendship had stemmed into something that was twisting Maria's best friend inside out and back again. 

"Charlotte," she spoke quietly, "What happened yesterday?" 

Charlotte wiped her nose on her sweater sleeve, she was ironically chilled since it was the dead of summer now. 

"Luke was supposed to come by. We're working on the song I showed you last week, thinking maybe we'd perform it at a couple shows," she huffed quietly, "He stood me up. He called me hours later to apologize but -- I don't know. Maybe I'm just making mountains out of mole hills?"

"What is it?" Maria asked, "Talk to me babe, I don't like seeing you like this," 

Charlotte shrugged, "I just got this idea that he was afraid to be talking to me. He was almost whispering, like he'd be in trouble if..."

"... If Melody knew he was talking to you?" Maria asked. Charlotte scoffed.

"I mean -- you're whispering into the phone while your girlfriend is in the next room? I'm not your damn mistress! I'm your friend! I've been there for him longer than Melody ever has!" 

Maria grabbed her by the shoulders, smoothing out the ripples in her cardigan, "I know Lottie, I know," she nodded, "Do you think maybe that's the problem, though? Melody maybe feels threatened by you?" 

Guilt wormed its way back into Charlotte's gut, her chest tightening. She was selfish, jealous, and yeah, she was definitely needy. 

"I want what's best for Luke, and she thinks she also knows what's best for him but -- I mean, every time they have a fight I'm the one he comes to. I'm the one he escapes with. I --"

"He uses you," Maria stated calmly, "And it's not fair to you. Not with the way you're feeling,"

Charlotte was taken aback, but a little relieved, seeing that someone else could see it to, "Maria..."

Maria shook her head, "You used him just as much as he uses you. It's not his fault, or yours. You're not bad people. But Luke is naive; and so were you for a little while. Melody still has her hooks in Luke and winds him tighter than a bobbin, so the poor kid doesn't know what do to,"

Charlotte sighed heavily, "I mean -- she must be phenomenal in bed or something. I just -- I can't figure it out. Why does he stay with her?"

"For the same reason you stay with Luke," Maria replied. Charlotte found it odd how she spoke in present tense.

"Stay?"

Maria listed off her fingers, "You recognize you're in a complicated situation. You have complicated feelings. You think Luke will give you everything you want. But you won't point out the trouble -- stir the pot, so the speak -- because you're afraid he's going to leave you. Just like Ben did," 

"I'm in a cycle," Charlotte finally admitted, "And I don't know how to stop it," 

"You need to find a way to break it," Maria nodded, looking down despondently, "And maybe that means taking some time off from Luke," 

Charlotte's eyes went wide, "Dude, we're back on the road in days," 

"I know," Maria nodded, "But you don't need to spend so much time with him. Not if it's going to cause you all this grief,"

"I don't have grief when I'm with him --"

"You have grief when he lets you down," Maria acknowledged, "Believe me, you're not the only girl in the world to be fucked over by men -- and their sadistic girlfriends,"

Maria loved Luke like a brother, but even she had to admit that he could be a little asshole at times. What, with the way that he used Charlotte: hiding at her place, confiding in her over and over and still letting her down. He was a good guy, yeah, but he wasn't her priority. Maria would step onto a third rail for Charlotte before Luke any day. 

And as for Melody, Maria would gladly clock her over the head with a Yellow Pages. Who the hell did she think she was? Dictating who Luke could and couldn't speak to? Making Charlotte feel so unwelcome when she was here first! She was the one who kept Luke's head together -- and maybe that was how the cycle could break? 

Charlotte needed to stop being so available.

"Men are a plague on all logical reason and thought," Charlotte huffed, lying back onto the duvet. Maria laid back with her.

"And no matter what, we're cursed to want to love them," she said, grasping Charlotte's cold hand, "... But we also need to protect ourselves from them,"

♛♛♛

This time around, Charlotte dreaded having to go back on tour. She believed Maria was right in that she needed some time apart from Luke. And yet, they'd be stuck together for three straight months, confined in tiny buses and green rooms. 

At least they were starting close to home -- New York State. On their way to Uncasville, Charlotte stopped back in Brooklyn for a couple days; knowing Troy wouldn't care so much but Penelope would give her the classic 'Greek Guilt' for not visiting. 

The Antonakis family sat at the dinner table, silently albeit. Troy was picking at his peas and carrots while Charlotte craved a cold beer as opposed to the glass of water her mom stuck to her. Penelope was noisily and obnoxiously cutting into her chicken breast, annoyed that her kids were being so quiet. 

"So, Charlotte," she finally said, "How was Europe?"

Charlotte glanced at Penelope, perplexed that she only asked after three dragging hours, "Beautiful," she answered truthfully, "We went to Vienna, Berlin, Rome..." 

"Did you see Hitler's bunker?" Troy asked, now more engaged than before.

"Yeah," Charlotte nodded, "It's a parking lot. No memorials or nothing. Just a dirty, greasy lot," 

"How fitting," Penelope nodded, "And the girls are okay?"

"They're great," she replied, "We're working on some new music,"

"You know what you're doing now?" Troy asked smugly.

Charlotte glowered at him, "Yes, Mr. Smartass," 

"And those boys you're traveling with?" Penelope finally asked, "Where are they from, England?"

"Australia," both Charlotte and Troy replied.

"Oh, that's right," Penelope grinned, "A bunch of koala huggers,"

Troy glanced listlessly at his mom, "I want to hold a koala someday,"

"They all carry diseases, darling. That's the last thing you want," Penelope warned.

"You can hang out with koalas at the zoo," Troy pointed out.

"That's the Central Park Zoo. They've all been sterilized," she replied promptly. 

Charlotte shook her head, "I feel like I'm in a zoo, sometimes," she muttered quietly. 

"And you excited for school, Troy?" Penelope asked, "Still floundering away in... what am I paying for, again?"

"Communications," Troy glared at his mom, "And I'm footing half the bill now," 

"Oh of course, that's right," Penelope turned to Charlotte, less than impressed, "Our baby boy has a job now," 

"Really?" Charlotte was surprised, if not a little relieved. He had to start paying back his student loans somehow and it was about time he pulled up his socks, "Where?"

"The pizza shop down the road. You make great tips," Troy grinned.

"He's the delivery boy," Penelope said, "Finally has an excuse to get that rusty old bike out of the yard," 

"That's great, Troy," Charlotte smiled.

"Thank you,"

"Now if only we could change his taste in loose women, then I'd be happy," Penelope said. 

Troy dropped his fork, the utensil clattered loudly against the porcelain, "I told you, I stopped seeing her," he sang sarcastically.

"And you still don't tell me where you go at night," Penelope mocked back. 

Charlotte glared between the both of them, "You just told me he's a delivery boy for a pizza shop," she said.

Penelope scoffed, "Oh, no. He has the day shifts. At night he's out at all hours and comes back early in the morning. Doesn't say where he's been but I always smell sex on him," she glowered at her son.

Troy rolled his eyes and turned to his sister, "Can I please come on tour with you?" Charlotte shook her head. 

"I'll stop getting after you when you tell me where you go at night," Penelope said.

"Why don't you stop trying to insert yourself into my life? You're like a stalker, mom!" Troy bit back, "You're a creep!" 

"Troy!" Charlotte scolded.

"I told you, if you weren't going to be truthful with me, then I'll find out for myself," Penelope told him. 

"That's bullshit!"

"Oh my God, you guys!"

"No swearing in my house!" Penelope scolded, "If you don't like my rules, then you can go live somewhere else,"

Troy, now red in the face, pushed himself away from the table and stood, "Fine, I will. Psycho!" he then stormed out. Two seconds later he stormed back in and grabbed his dinner plate, then stormed out again. 

Charlotte put her face in her hands; her crackhead family was the last thing she needed to deal with right now. Penelope shook her head and kept on eating.

"He'll be back," she sighed, "He left his phone on the chair," she also had a rule about having no phones at the table.

Charlotte shook her head, "I don't get why you're so hard on him," she said, "He's nineteen for God sakes,"

Penelope scoffed back, "And he's a boy. And I trust the opposite sex about as far as I can throw them," 

"Mom, that's ridiculous," she sighed, "Men are -- dumb, yeah -- but they're not all out to hurt you,"

"Oh no? How do you explain your father?" she glowered, "Up and left when you were seven years old! Totting off with a little Russian floozy at the Meat Packing District --"

"I know, mom! I know what happened, and we haven't seen Dad in years," Charlotte nodded, now getting irritated. It was the same story over and over whenever one her kids acted out; she'd guilt them into remembering how their father left and how they had to swear never to turn out to be deadbeats like him. 

Penelope snorted, "Old fool. Didn't even come crawling back when his baby scratched the skies of success -- and making us some actual money," 

Charlotte was unsure where her mom was veering off now, "... Is this some misguided attempt to get me to pay for Troy's tuition?"

"No," Penelope shook her head, "I have they money to pay for all of it. Let him think he's being a man, though. That boy has no idea what the world's gonna' do to him," 

Charlotte pressed her lips together, "Well, maybe he would if you would... I don't know... loosen the leash a little," 

Penelope glared at her with shock, "Loosen the leash? You give 'em an inch, they take a mile. You can't trust men, Charlotte,"

"Well, Troy's not going to trust you if you don't let him breath a little," Charlotte argued, "What is it with you? You sound like you don't like men at all!" 

"Charlotte, I love your brother!" she hissed back, her posture softening a little, "He's my baby. He's all I got left of your father -- and you. You're gone a lot, especially this year. And the more successful you get, the longer you'll be gone. Is it so bad for me to not want to be alone as I get older?"

Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat. In her mom she could recognize the very issues she was dealing with: abandonment. Maybe this was where all her issues stemmed from, but like Penelope she wanted to keep the people she cherished so much as close to her as possible, even if they didn't reciprocate her feelings. She didn't smother Troy because she was a control freak, but because she didn't want to be alone. Her husband had disappeared off the grid and her daughter was touring from continent to continent, of course she would be a little lonely. 

"Mom, you're not alone," Charlotte finally said, "You'll always have Troy and I -- even if we are half-way across the world. But -- smothering your kids is just bound to drive them away, and then you'll definitely be alone. We love you, but you make it really hard for us to like you. And when you get all crazy on us, we don't want to be around you, so of course you're going to feel alone,"

Penelope stared despondently at her chicken and veggies, letting her daughter's words slowly sink in, "I've been driving you all away?" she said quietly.

"I wouldn't necessarily say 'driving us away', but you need to calm down. Let Troy be a nineteen-year-old kid. Men are naive, yeah, but they're not all out to hurt us. We are all trying to navigate the world for ourselves so we do what we think is right for us. And in Troy's mind, the further he get away from you, the happier he'll be," Charlotte said, "Give him some to breathe, and he'll come back," 

Penelope nodded slowly, "Maybe you're right, honey," she sighed, then she reached over and grabbed Troy's phone from the empty chair, "Besides, he has to come back anyway. That boy's life revolves on this thing,"

♛♛♛

Charlotte sat on the rooftop, smoking a joint and looking out over Brooklyn by night. The bridge was illuminated in bright blue lamps that casted diamond-esque reflections over the rippling water. Cars buzzed through the dark like fire flies, and someone had their wood-burning stove running, the comforting scent of a camp fire was floating through the air. It was cooler now than it had been earlier, summers in New York were exceptionally hot and the night was the only refuge you could get if you didn't have an AC. 

Penelope had been quiet most of the night, when Charlotte went up she was still sitting on the couch and watching Jeopardy, waiting for Troy to come home and apologize. On the one hand, Charlotte was relieved she could talk some sense into her overzealous mother, on the other hand, she couldn't wait to get back on the road and away from her family. There was too much drama she just didn't want to cope with at the time.��

Speaking of drama, she jumped when her phone rang beside her. Her heart sank when she saw Luke was calling her -- again. He had been trying to get in contact with her since they landed in New York, but Charlotte was taking Maria's advice and staving off her friend. Maybe he'd think she was mean, maybe that she was a bitch for ignoring him? Fine. 

She was upset, and she had every right to be. Her brain was doing somersaults, trying to weed out ways in which she could just turn her emotions for him off. She wanted to go back to way things were before, when Luke was nothing more to her than a goofball who liked penguins and sending ridiculous snapchats her way. When her stomach didn't sink every time he was near her. 

Charlotte ignored the call and continued to smoke, but the joint didn't seem to want to do its job tonight. If anything, it only made her think about Luke more. What was she going to say to him when they finally would have to meet up? Sorry, your girlfriend is a cunt and she's not going to dictate whether or not we can friends. By the way, I also happen to be in love with you and could treat you way better than she ever could. 

No, Charlotte shook her head, it's safer for you if you just keep your mouth shut. 

Inexplicably, her phone rang again. Luke was relentless this time, and Charlotte's patience was running thin. She reluctantly picked up the call.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

She heard exhale on the other side, "You are mad with me, aren't you?" it hurt to hear because his voice was smooth velvet, and you could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

"... I'm not happy," Charlotte admitted. 

"I should've called you earlier, I know," he said, "I didn't mean to stand you up, Char, honestly,"

"I know," Charlotte nodded, "Luke, it's not just that, though,"

"What is it, then?" he seemed a little impatient now, "Charlotte, you've been ignoring me for days,"

"I know," 

"Did I do something?" that was a rhetorical question. So many things, and yet nothing at all. She just wanted to scream that it wasn't him that was the problem. 

"Luke... I got some shit I'm just trying to deal with," she kept it as vague as possible, "My family is stressing me out, I'm scrambling to get a song produced by November, I have to live out of a suitcase for the next three months, I just --" she trailed off quietly, unsure of what it was she wanted to say.

"Talk to me," Luke begged, "What's going on, Charlotte? You can always talk to me," 

Oh, how I wish that were true, now.

"I need to figure some things out, is all. So, maybe for the next little while... you wouldn't mind giving me some space?" Charlotte whimpered out meekly. 

The line was quiet, but she could still hear him breathing. She figured his mind was racing, trying to piece together what Charlotte was trying to say but she doubted he would know.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked again, "'Cause I never want to hurt you," 

"This isn't about you, Luke," Charlotte lied again, "It has more to do with me," 

"Okay," he finally relented, "If I did anything, then I'm really sorry, Charlotte,"

How is it always about him?

"I know, Luke," she swallowed nervously, "I'll see on Friday?"

"See you Friday, I --" she hung up before he could finish, knowing that the next three words to leave his lips would have her agonizing the rest of the week. 

Little did Charlotte know however, across the street from her townhouse, Luke was hiding behind a corner at the end of the block. He was going crazy in his hotel room in Manhattan, trying and failing to reach her, so he flagged down a cab and went straight for Brooklyn.

He could see Charlotte's silhouette on the roof, the wisps of smoke floating from her joint. There was a cloud of gloom around her, he could see it from a mile away. He wanted to stop her pain, relieve her but he didn't know why she was upset. Not that she wouldn't dare tell him. 

He was trapped in a cycle with her, trying to get her to confide in him just as he did when she was with Ben. Eventually she would open up about what was happening, the key was to let her wait it out until she was ready to talk, she would come to him when she wanted. And no matter what, no matter what was happening, Luke would swear to drop it all and listen. He hadn't been a good friend to Charlotte, and he was determined to make it up to her now.

[catty-words]

now that i’ve spent a year with it and any given song off the album can still replenish my joie de vivre at the drop of a beat,

a non-exhaustive list of things i love about ever after (2011):

- themes!!! and! motifs!!! and how it’s about yearning for a simpler time all while knowing that you can never truly return and how the more often you try to go back to that simple time, it corrupts a little bit about what was good in the first place but also about how letting go of the innocence and hope you feel the pull toward would be just as unpalatable.

- vitally important to my listening experience is how these themes and motifs are grounded in music that captures an essence of the popular music scene from my high school years i’m not musically knowledgeable enough to describe in any concrete terms but absolutely, absolutely pings nostalgic to my ear without really having to try

- how josh ramsay et. al. were absolutely, honest-to-god trying

+ disclaimer before we really dive in: i know there’s an official story for this universe, an established canon, but i long ago decided that i get a rich enough story simply listening to the music. so though my interpretation may be wildly inaccurate, no it isn’t. :*

“ever after”:

- one of the joie de vivre restorers, the og, my everything

- how about the way my being in love with the intro ah-ah-ahh-ing from day one unlocked my appreciation for porcelain the character? no more than two days ago, i realized the ahhs were her leitmotif and had to sit with the implications of how that ties the whole album together, how it makes porcelain’s sweetness accessible to us in a way it never was to me when i only had the unreliable narration’s take on her, when i didn’t realize she had a voice of her own in the piece

- directly related, how i’m finding new stuff to lose my complete and utter shit about over a listen-heavy year later

- the way the opening lyrics successfully and instantly sweep me off my feet (and how captivating prologues are a hallmark of the band’s work, both in the writing and the performances)

- i mean, once upon a time / i used to romanticize / used to be somebody, nevermind / i don’t miss it that much now. i get chills every single goddamn time.

- the way our main character, the jaded mr. used to romanticize, is in conversation with a younger and idealistic version of himself in a way that makes me feel like porcelain is the younger version of carolina. the music ebbs and flows from the idealistic strings to the jaded, gritty guitar as the narrator once again gets pulled into his own yearning for the ever after he can never completely capture or hold onto.

- the way the second verse

functions as a call to action. sonically, too, i am rising to my feet, bloodied and ready to fight again. we are going back into the fantastical world of ever after, it was only a matter of time.

- don’t you move / can’t you stay where you are, just for now functioning as the tagline for the narrator’s self-destructive urge to cling to the simplicity of the past to the detriment of his present while also going so fucking hard should be illegal

- WHEN THE TOY SOLDIERS HIT (nobody told ya this was gonna fold ya!!!!)

- to have and hold ya, oversold ya being the first critical lyric in the case i’m building that the toy soldiers are the embodiment of our narrator’s aforementioned tendency toward self-destruction and self-loathing

- just. the build of the whole song. it’s gorgeous and it slaps, what more is there to say?

- the outro/transition into “haven’t had enough” can get it

“haven’t had enough”:

- the 8-bit sound of it and how the music somehow extremely effectively evokes playing an arcade game

- the criminally catchy hook and how this is another song that makes me at least thirty percent brighter no matter what emotional state i’m in when it starts playing. BOP O’CLOCK.

- the full circle of the song (testing, testing, i’m just suggesting / you and i might not be the best thing to testing, testing i’m just suggesting / you and i might just be the best thing) lending itself to the song’s place in the broader narrative. they’ve done this before, the narrator and ever after. in fact, they’ve been stuck now, so long / just got the start wrong. and it’s the hope that maybe things will work out this time that keeps mr. used to romanticize reliving his time in ever after over and over again (one more, last try / imma get the ending right). the arcade game is eating you alive but you’re actually pretty okay with the brightness consuming you. are you not?

- (i would inject this song directly in my veins, so yeah. you’ve got me, mr. romanticize, go on and insist / that [i] haven’t had enough.)

- that guitar (?) lick that comes in halfway through the chorus to revitalize it?? has me so completely by the throat i am a sleeper agent and that lick is my fucking trigger i am not responsible for what i do when it sets me off

- the don’t you need it?s and don’t you want it?s feeling like as much of a question for himself as for ever after/carolina/porcelain. is the cycle worth it? should we really be putting ourselves through this one more time?

- you know the moment in the chorus following the bridge, where it’s like one more, last try / imma get the ending - / YOUUUUUU? yeah, i like that a normal amount.

“by now”:

- i tend to think of this song as the official start to the story we’re meant to retread and retread and retread forever and ever amen. in order to get the ending right, we’ve gotta take a look at where everything went wrong. i feel vindicated in this read by the acoustic guitar. the jadedness stripped down

- it's time that i come clean, but / but for now can we just both pretend to sleep? building on the narrator’s defining flaw as his fear of change and how he tricks himself into believing that not moving in any particular direction means he gets to avoid the change entirely.

- how cheeky the line our talk is small, i'm seven inches tall reads to me because it captures a very real emotion about being formal with someone you know intimately, intimately but also because ever after is a fantastical toy land - let the album art influence your listening experience - and thus invites a more literal interpretation

- the menace of the drums in the outro; toy soldier motif anyone?

“truth or dare”

- you know, i didn’t love this one at first, nor “toy soldiers”, but now i’m deep in it for the villain songs

- nobody will know how you come and you go for it aka the toy soldiers being like “you’re so gagged for ever after, like, it’s kind of embarrassing for you”. wig fully snatched, i absolutely am horny for this album.

- just. the whole of verse two

and how it’s the seductiveness of the narrator’s worst impulses. give into this place, give into the comfort of it. it’s safe, we promise.

- the way the outro feels like clouds parting to the streaming sun, mr. heartthrob arriving on the scene with a near angelic leitmotif to stand up for himself against his own shit

“desperate measures”:

- and like, what i mean by that is, the whole song is about the narrator recognizing his shortcomings as a romantic hero, but pushing for action anyway. this song is the anti-stay where you are, just for now

- when the “desperate measures” guitar hits 👌

- the scathing humor infusing the lyrics gonna make a heartthrob out of me / just a bit of minor surgery / these desperate times call for desperate measures drives me fully insane. girlies when it’s gonna take minor surgery to make a heartthrob outta them but desperate times call for desperate measures

- hearing have a piece of american dream / open up and swallow, on your knees / and say, “thank you, i’d like some desperate measures, please” for the first time was just like, are we allowed to do this are we allowed to just record stuff like that and casually slide it in front of my ears my impressionable mind may experience lust 🥵

- fellas, is it personal growth to acknowledge you’ll never get over the pull of ever after? fellas, is it problematic to hinge your ability to get the ending right on a kiss for luck from your beloved when they’re already falling out of love with you?

asking for a friend.

“porcelain”:

- the vital, vital importance to the album’s fairytale aesthetics that the sweeping ballad is the exploration of the narrator’s best and worst quality: the depth of his love for porcelain, for their ever after life together. as his beacon of hope, it’s where he draws inspiration for moments of great heroism. but he also lets it run so deep that it overshadows his own personhood. and i love the way the music speaks to this dynamic with a pervasive and ominous and tense whooshing noise underlying the simple, beautiful melody.

- you can’t erase the way it pulls when seasons change because, like, yeah! time marching ever onward does pull at you, i feel this line in my bones. but also the way the line reflects back on the narrator’s relationship with living in the past vs. being in the present… woof

- the instrumental break slaps, it’s the best part of the song let’s be real. and the fact that the ahh-ah-ahhhhing returns! the narrator just told porcelain she has the space to tell him what she needs whenever she’s ready for that, and then the song itself gives her the break in which she can use her voice. fuckin masterful!!

“fallout”:

- SONG OF ALL TIME when the intro hits i lose all semblance of composure it makes me need to punch windows!!! i am gargling the glass!!! i am launching myself into the stratosphere and i’ll never feel the pull of gravity again!!!! FUCK

- okay but. the way this song is the narrator at his worst, his most cloying, his most pitiful. it is THE pathetic meow, meow anthem and the fact that it goes as fucking hard as it does... i cannot articulate the implications without wanting to pull out my hair but. it’s alluring!! being your worst self has a great pull on you! there’s a certain kind of dark triumph to it! WHERE’S THAT BROKEN GLASS

- the way the ‘boom-boom-tcha’ of the beat starts to speed up so there are no rests as we approach the chorus. we’re losing control: of ourselves of the narrative of the song itself!! take me away, ian casselman.

- the way you’re sleeping like a babe beside him makes me think of ‘babes in toyland’ every time i hear it. i’ve never actually seen the movie, i don’t know if it’s thematically resonant, but kind of like the seven inches tall lyric from “by now”, it simply tickles my brain that the words can evoke the universe we’re in with only sparse accompanying visuals

- how the performance of i know you’re fine but what if i / fallout crescendos. filed under: lyrics to belt along with in your car with all the windows down

- mm, shoutout to live at the rave milwaukee (2022) for giving me undying appreciation of the backing fallouts. can these boys harmonize or what?

- the way and nevertheless / it’s never you let tastes

- one of the very first things that captivated me about this song, and indeed the whole album, was the delivery of don’t tell me to fight / to fight for you / after this long, i shouldn’t have to. the pain of it?? the kinda understated wail? i turn this part all the way up in my headphones and ache ache ache

- god, just. i’m back to how pitiful it is to ask the person who’s broken up with you to be with someone else to take care of you because you don’t know how to get over this on your own. why do i love this song? why do i need to be screaming along to this song at all times?? i actually hate the narrator here, but god does the music move me in a way that kindles empathy

- porcelain’s leitmotif coming in to like, soothe us through the end of the song. the way that’s her doing what our narrator’s asked??? girl, couldn’t be me

“stutter”:

- i’d gone through a bit of a cool phase with this song, a period of ‘mm, this is cringe, actually’ but i’m just coming out the other end to be in love again. too fun for it’s own good.

- in terms of the narrative of the album (and this is the one thing i do know about the canon story), this is the narrator meeting a new character, one who has let themselves be consumed by ever after (i won’t ever be anywhere but here), now forever stuck in the cycle. it’s bright and fun - like the arcade game consuming you - but there is a brokenness to it, too. it’s too late to go / already taken me forever just to try…

- the backing ooh nah nahs tbh (thank you, matt webb)

- like, try not to bop along, i dare you

“toy soldiers”:

- now that our narrator’s been galvanized to want to move on, to leave ever after behind, we gotta get the villain in here to remind us you can’t actually escape.

- the lyrics who’ll be my montague now / to this broken capulet / how, how, how if not for you and the way the how-how evokes the word ‘house’ before moving on to the rest of the line.

- the refrain of don’t you want love? shining a light on the narrator’s insecurity that he’ll never have something as special and formative as his relationship with porcelain and how the toy soldiers are exploiting that to convince him to stay in ever after. you need to get this back, you can’t just walk away. don’t you think i [ever after/the narrator himself] deserve better after all that we’ve been through?

- and then of course the threat of i’ll follow you like toy soldiers, a reminder that ever after is with you whether you choose it or not.

- fuck man, the second verse

is fucking lit, the inherent threat. *touches a hot stove* the poetry of it.

- this song is one of those that never caught my attention when i was first falling in love with the album, but now i can’t believe there was ever a time i was kinda indifferent to it. it makes me feel like the embodiment of this emoji 😈, an emotion i apparently quite like to feel

“b team”:

- the way the intro of this one feels like a distorted version of “desperate measures”. the toy soldiers have baited the narrator into bitterness, and perhaps this is the part of the story where mr. used to romanticize is born, the seeds of him planted

- the way the second verse

illustrates the particular shape of said bitterness, and how it’s directed at porcelain for breaking the illusion of ever after again and again. the way this is clearly the least gracious read of their relationship - we see the narrator’s hand in the destruction even if he can’t - and really drives home the way mr. used to romanticize getting seduced again and again by the toy soldiers makes them the voice of his self-destruction

- the way porcelain’s out here like, “boy, i would pay you to stop.”

(this bridge bops, though, make no mistake)

- the way the ominous church music outro manages to communicate that there’s about to be a mother-effing reckoning

“so soon”:

- and in that reckoning, finally, the narrator lets go: of his bitterness, of porcelain, of ever after. it’s an achingly sad and slow affair, but there’s heart-wrenching beauty in the journey, as well

- the way the narrator’s love for porcelain shines brightest right here, in these quiet and unassuming verses

- the way the outro is, like, porcelain and our narrator being released to float peacefully away from us as the ominous organ takes over and - call me crazy - but it feels like the organ is ever after becoming more than just a presence in the narrative but a voice, as well. (i know rosh ramsay et. al. did the transition music at the very last second, so it’s honestly incredible how cohesive and Correct it all manages to be, happy to be out here stanning legends)

“no place like home”:

- GOD but the hundred-voices-as-one production of the opening lines and how it’s every version of our narrator who climbed into the hole of ever after one last time speaking at once

- the way that lends so much weight to familiar sins come crashing in / and sever forever and after / my old friend, it’s time i leave you here / for once, for all in frozen alabaster, his goodbye to ever after and to porcelain. maybe he really means it this time.

- (okay, but ever after, porcelain being home, though 😭😭)

- the lyrics my old friend, it’s time to say goodbye again / no need to tell me where you’ve been, i feel it for reasons only @nottheleastbrave​ knows and needs to know

- when our gritty guitar comes back now, it’s full of triumph, and we revisit some of the album’s key lyrics and this is it!! the narrator is taking what he needs from ever after to weave something new!! he’s breaking out but not leaving it behind!!

- WHEN THE TOY SOLDIERS HIT reprise

- the way the toy soldier chant builds to i face the music when it’s dire, finally a statement of responsibility and selfhood, a long way away from the i never face the music when it’s dire and the command of face the music when it’s dire in “ever after”. and in direct response to the toy soldier’s onslaught! i say that’s my baby and i’m proud!!

- and so does porcelain herself!! her gorgeous leitmotif coming in once more to bear witness to and approve of our narrator’s moment of self-actualization

- once upon a time / this place was beautiful and mine / but now it’s just a bottom line and he’s officially let go, freeing himself from the cycle

- and in closing off his path back into ever after, he’s finally worthy of the love he’d mythologized to the point of destruction ([there’s no] yellow bricks and happily - / ever after we lived / the end)

- the music box tinkle of an ending inviting you to start over from the beginning, find comfort in the fairy tale all over again. do you dare complete the circle one more time?

in summation: it’s a silly lil pop album, it’s high arté, everyone could get something worthwhile out of listening to it, no one will understand this album like i understand this album. thank you for reading.

[meat-wentz]

Could you maybe give me some band recommendations I need a second band to obsess over lol

oh my gosh yes

these are kind of on constant rotation throughout my life:

dear and the headlights- hey listen do you ever wanna get punched in the fucking chest by a band that only has two albums and can lyrically slap you in the face with the most yearning you've felt ever in your life probably? then dear and the headlights is the band for you, these guys sound like they lost their virginity in a field in michigan and never got over the heartbreak of it all. midwesty sounding post-emo (despite being from arizona). both albums are some of my fave albums ever.

electric six- camp as fuck, the campest band, so fucking fun with real sick tunes. dick valentine frontman of ever. great videos. rock and roll and sexy sex and songs that make you feel what it must be like to be a handsome penis probably. fire is my fave album it's just full of wall to wall bangers.

bayside- i don't nearly see enough bayside appreciation as i thought i would on here, but bayside is just oh my god they're the most "cooler older brother" emo band out there they make me feel like i need to fucking punch drywall and get drunk off shitty beer in a garage and start yellin and they legit did not have to go that hard on the video for devotion and desire, i think about those hot nuns on the daily. my personal fave albums are bayside, acoustic, the walking wounded, and sirens and condolences.

bright eyes- man conor really just does it for me. always has always will. fave albums are lifted and fevers and mirrors.

pierce the veil- i will occasionally see ptv appreciation on the dash which makes my whole heart soar. i love ptv. they don't miss. every album is a banger, their new album is a banger. i would literally throw my whole body in front of a moving vehicle for jaime. literally have never gotten over so many ptv lyrics like "i'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention." bruh. fave albums are selfish machines, collide with the sky, and the jaws of life.

the bluetones- my babies i want to hold them i want to cradle them i am obsessed with them. this is music to stare out car windows to for all occasions and emotions. fave albums are return to the last chance saloon and science & nature. (the basement song, sleazy bed track, if, autophilia or how i learned to stop worrying and love my car are all songs that make me feel inexplicable).

anyways here's some more on rotation:

brandston

braid

the promise ring

skating polly

failure

be your own pet

metric

tricot

fall of troy

speedy ortiz

fountains of wayne

jawbox

joyce manor

the replacements

the rapture

[allthetorturedpoets]

okay this will probably be completely wrong BUT this is what i have made up in my head. i wanna say you’re an older sister NOT THE OLDEST. but you definitely have baby sibs (i can’t wait to laugh at how wrong i am). anyway, i see u having younger siblings that annoy you (as all siblings do) but that you really adore. younger sister maybe? really i just can’t imagine you being an only child. you have a small group of close friends, the type to plan to go to the same college and dorm together type. and style wise, you know the famous rory gilmore sweater? that’s what i picture. comfy but still cute. oversized sweaters, converse, all that jazz. what else… you’re a huge hopeless romantic for sure. lots of reading (duh). you never leave the house without your headphones. you either take time carefully crafting your playlists or you follow hyperspecific ones (or both). i associate navy blue with you a lot. with that said, melodrama is your album. don’t know how to explain it. also random but i just imagine you having the best eyebrows. either naturally or you just always make sure they’re neat. oh my god, i also see you wearing all the cute graphic tees. saw this one on steph’s IG story the other day and it just screams you (and you definitely have an emotional support mug, i won’t elaborate).

omg!! obsessed with this i love u diana. i am in fact an only child but i have yearned for younger siblings my whole life and i have a best friend that is basically my younger sister so you’re not far off!! i do have a small group of friends we’re attached at the hips basically (wish you were part of my friend group fr!!!!)

you read me like a book with the rory gilmore fashion, hopeless romantic, reading, headphones being a necessity (they are always in my tote bag), both of those playlist things are true and im wearing a navy blue sweatshirt rn and i just bought navy blue converse!! melodrama is my Beloved!!

i don’t know if i can judge the niceness of my eyebrows but i Hope they are good (they’re very full and i try my best to keep them looking good!) i adore graphic tees but my schools dress code bans them so i can only wear them on weekends </3 omg yesss i’m so obsessed with steph’s shirt i saw that too and i want it so bad! (my emotional support mug has red roses all over it and i got it in berlin!!)

honestly you got so much right you’re so perceptive!!!!

[idletype]

six recent song favorites!

thank you for the tag @sillsif. i listen to music that exclusively falls into either one of two categories: (a) silly or (b) devastating. i think my selection here pretty accurately reflects that. also i have bad taste but it's perfect to me. ok in no particular order:

ditto - newjeans: my brother is trying to indoctrinate me to newjeansism and it's working. this music video is SUPER well-done and interesting, a lot of thought is put into their concepts and videos. and they're just the cutest girls in the world! also i like this more than omg but omg IS iconic.

Stay in the middle Like you a little, don't want no riddle Say it, say it back, oh, say it ditto

i need u - tnx: i got into tnx last year in a 3-day long frenzy when i had covid and was in quarantine, i really like them! i think they're very talented and have an appealing overall group dynamic. this song is very different from their debut song but i like the sound of it a lot, it feels very boyband-y. some of the lyrics are kind of silly lol

Waking up and falling asleep to your warmth that still remains We were meant to be We had the right chemistry Hope this wasn't a one-sided story of a hopeless romantic

devil by the window - tomorrow x together: my fav off the new album <3 my brother described it as evil dove cameron-esque tiktok music and i'm okay with that. overall, i really like this album and their concept for this era. with every new album i get a new favorite txt b-side (though i think opening sequence still remains on top for me).

I met the devil by the window Traded my life Temptation touched my tongue Spread the wings of desire

animal - jinyoung: PARK JINYOUNG I AM YOUR FAN FOREVER! i really love this album and i'm grateful that jinyoung decided to continue making music because i lowkey expected him to just go full-time acting. i like that this song is a sad balland, jinyoung has such a pretty and emotive voice.

Close the curtains and come back to bed Close your eyes and ask for a dream Sins grow and become thorns No matter how much I hid it, I couldn't hide it

waiting room - phoebe bridgers: it's my villain origin story that they took this off of spotify. the structure of this song is pretty simplistic and there's minimal lyrics, but god. it's just raw yearning in this bittersweet and haunting way. this is on my palmnueng playlist.

I wanna be the broken love song that feeds your misery And I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together Plus I know whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better

when - dodie: specifically, the version she performed during her tiny desk set (which i linked and would highly recommend watching the whole thing). she first released this song through youtube when i was around 14, now i'm almost 21. dodie is one of those artists who has gotten me through a very specific part of my youth. the way this song and the arrangement has evolved over the years is really beautiful. i'm glad she continues to perform it.

I'm sick of faking diary entries Got to get it in my head I’ll never be sixteen again I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when

tagging: @petrichoraline @soundgun @chinzhillababy @ashedddaisy and anyone else who'd like to do it! thank you for reading if you did.

[boy-bug-ghoul]

Things in take me back to eden that make me go feral

so it's my first time listening to tmbte fully after putting it off bc i knew i would be so excited i wouldn't be able to regulate my emotions HDSKSHD

and my ttrpg discord server had to witness me have very very live thoughts and reviews about the album and vessel's voice and vessel's new mask (which i plan on making!)

so here's some of those under the cut!! (i might continue to edit this as i listen again and again)

(i hope this is how you make a cut this is my first post)

Chokehold:

I was listening to per aspera ad inferi by ghost and plugged my ears so that the music was like fully reverberating around my skull and it was. such a good experience.

my hands over my ears, like rattling my eardrums

i did that with chokehold. fucking incredible bro it was. insane. so good.

the light piano noises?? juxtaposed with the SUDDEN HARDNESS AND THEN THE VOCALS AND AHSKDJHFS

The Summoning:

i don't have much to say about the summoning /pos. it's a classic. i think the first song i listened to from sleep token.

I've been listening to it a little more recently. the whole thing is so good especially like the middle bit where it goes so hard and the guitar goes "bleep bloop" (i read from somewhere,, the blog name evades my memory), THEN transitions into the ethereal flowy bit before iii starts bassing the house down

OH AND MY LOVE, DID I MISTAKE YOU FOR A SIGN FROM GOD

i love listening to the drums in ST songs as well. this is one of those crispy delicious drum songs

Granite:

i sing this pretty angrily. "if you had a problem then you should have told me" etc etc yk?

after that part it's sooooo easy to vibe to because of that underlying melody, its so satisfying i listen to it over and over again

"abstract toxicity" ben says

has been in my on repeat playlist for a while now haha

Aqua Regia:

i'm such a nerd about aqua regia. the first verse goes hard. the second verse goes hard. it all goes hard without having to go musically hard.

BECAUSE THE LYRICISM IS SO GOOD. "between teeth on a broken jaw, following a blood trail, frothing at the maw" "putting down the roses, picking up the sword" "oxytocin running in the ether" JUST TO NAME A FEW

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE. THE ALARM BELLS LYRIC. yeah.

also on my on repeat

Vore:

it's like the "gods" of tmbte yk? (it's because he starts out screaming. and i love it.)

but after that like, "will we remain stuck in the throat of gods" onwards,, it has something to it that makes me want to cry.

"there is always something in the way, i wanna have you to myself for once" there's so much yearning

so good. i feel bad for ignoring vore for a while before tmbte came out bc it really is. so good

Ascensionism:

i like the "oh woahs" at the start of vessel rapping

"half of a rhythm, half deity, glitches in the cold or gaps in a strange dream" HIT ME IMMEDIATELY. I HAD TO PAUSE IT BECAUSE IT WENT SO HARD. because it is basically what vessel is. oh my

"make it real" he sounds so good singing this fml!!!

"lipstick, chemtrails" onwards is SO VIBEY like all the lyrics as well!! the blood references interest me!!

vessel whispering "diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky" gave me chills. in a gay way? yeah probably

I DO APPRECIATE HOW THE SONG IS 7 MINUTES!! LONG SONGS CHEF'S KISS

Are You Really Okay?:

i had many. many feelings about this one. it's still hard to put it into words right now

i said to my server, "im gonna start violently sobbing actually. bc its SO VERY CLEAR what it. hrgh"

it was a lot. cried, definitely. i bet it hits close to home for a lot of people.

also weird music moment i was like. noticing shdfkd i was like "damn they did this song in C major and I'm still crying" (or at least i think it's C major, it was so odd bc that's one of the brightest key signatures yk)

The Apparition:

gave me twinges of high water in emotion, but it's because i am projecting too heavily onto the first verse sdhfd

the instrumental after the first verse fucks.

the chorus as well!! the lyrics i keep talking about THE LYRICS on this one "let's make trouble in the dream world, hijack heaven with another memory"

i love the instrumental the whole time, again with that underlying melody

DYWTYLM:

THIS SONG MAKES ME SAD GO AWAY HDFSHDF

i read this descriptor on fake out by fall out boy, but i feel like this song is so "grit your teeth and smile"

"can you ever forgive yourself?" comes for my kneecaps.

"i cannot hope to give you what i cannot give myself" wrrrr shut up bro shut up D:

"smile back at me, please" SEE THIS SONG DOESNT GO TOO HARD MUSICALLY BUT THE LYRICS GO SOOOOOOO HARD

Rain:

the first song i listened to off the album! it is. not because it shares a title with a ghost member... i swear...

THE ENTIRE POST-CHORUS. "refracted in light, reflected in sound" really hit me the first time!!

i love how it gets INCREASINGLY HARDER

ben, to his discord server: "darling will you saturate?" 1. CALLBACK TO AQUA REGIA 2. saturate my [redacted] vessel

i listened to rain for an hour on repeat. it slaps so hard.

Take Me Back To Eden:

right off the bat, 8 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS. AND ALL OF THEM ARE SO GOOD.

the first take me back to eden refrain when vessel does that high note. ascending.

i love the chorus so so much. i had so many feelings relating to the chorus. and the harmonies ohhhh my god.

"THE CHORUS KEY CHANGE MAKES ME LIKE SHAKE" "theres so many key changes im freaking out right now im going insane right now" "THE CHORUS IS SUNG 3 TIMES AND EVERY TIME ITS A DIFFERENT KEY IM GONNA LIKE CRY IM GONNA FUCKING CRY"

i had many feelings related to the key changes. the first time i experienced all three choruses i had to pause. hyperventilate for a bit.

"and i don't know what's got its teeth in me but I'm about to bite back in anger" very high water!!!! the mouth of infinity fr

WHEN I REALISED THAT NOT ONLY WAS THERE A LYRICAL CALLBACK TO CHOKEHOLD BUT THE INSTRUMENTAL AS WELL.

and the ending goes so hard i love it when vessel just starts screaming

clearly. my favourite. there's a lot of thoughts abt this.

Euclid:

the lyrics again. all so good. the night terrors. the yearning and reverence. this is my shit

the "call me when you get the chance" etc. initially i was like "this sounds so much like the night does not belong to god AND OH BOY! WAS I IN FOR A SURPRISE

"euclid is fucking insane,,, and they call back to their first ever ep AND their first ever lp and imlike hrgndnksfnrhsn" this was me before the ending right

when i heard "the whites of your eyes" my jaw dropped. i was overcome with emotion.

"THEY CALL BACK TO THE NIGHT DOES NOT BELONG TO GOD AND I ALMOST STARTED CRYING. THEIR FIRST ALBUM!!!!! oh god oh jesus"

every time i listen to it i feel like crying. I'm like gonna cry. it's so good. what a perfect ending.

good lord. what a trip this album was. thank you for reading i still have to recover from this hahahaha

[spikeinthepunch]

Cryptolalia - inspirations

theres a this like... meme on a discord i saw and i thought its be fun to write further about this in a blog post. so, heres 6 inspirations for my world... theyre all media admittedly, and i think i kinda made this list to remind myself to take another look at these as its been many years for a lot of them.

Eidolon (game) - the Oldest of my inspirations, its hard to explain as I havent touched this game since 2015 but like.... it greatly inspired by first ideas on some of the stuff that goes on in the world regarding weird powers/abilities. I do need to replay it and remind myself on Why it inspired me, tbh.

Steven Universe (series) – undoubtedly inspired by SU, it was ongoing during the period I made my Ocs and the alien/space stuff?? Yeah, couldn't deny it. Most even more so the emotional side of that show greatly impacted how I wanted to tackle my characters and story too in the larger scope!

Ratchet & Clank (game) – a long time interest that sparked my whole OC world, since my OC used to be fan characters. While the series is more lighthearted than what I plan to do, the world building of RaC (in the Future series mainly, and Rift Apart) has no doubt left an impression on me considering my characters started there!

Bearer Of The Heart (album) – I find a lot of musical inspiration because I really hope to communicate that in by world/story.... this album really hits narratively but also overall musically. Its hard to describe how music just. Feels a certain way, but it does. The artists common themes in scifi also generally inspire me too, as I love their aesthetics.

Floatillion (web comic) – Not too much to say on this one, as like many of the above I think I am inspired by so many parts of these things. Many bits and pieces spark something in me whether its the concepts, the tone, or writing. (this comic was left unfinished sadly but its a good read)

Outer Wilds (game) – undeniably the most recent media that made me think 'oh god I want this'. In terms of scifi, alien focus stories, it did so much I yearned for. But the way it did it (art style, music, etc) really got me too. Again music is a huge defining thing for tone in my eyes, so it really sticks out to me.

Eidolon is one i for sure need to revisit as i never properly finished the game. I dont think it will hold as strong to my story as it did then, but theres something tugging me towards it again.

I do feel like a lot of my inspirations media wise just pull me towards to many things at all the time. its kinda an issue- as it makes it hard for me to sit down and say "ok, this is what im gonna do", when i see a cool thing and think "ok i wanna do that too actually". but i think looking back at what hyped me up initially will be good to do so i can remember now in my Adult mind, what it is that stuck with me.

[flamingplay]

3,5,11,21,63

I'm EXTREMELY sorry for answering this so late, my life is a tumoill since I reblogged this ask game, so thank you so much, J, and all the people who sent to me inboxes for waiting! <3

DO YOU LISTEN TO MORE OLDIES OR MORE CURRENT STUFF?

heh depends on what's meant here uder oldies… If taking past several years I listen to the music released past 2010 much more often rather than the one from 70s-80s-90s smh...

5. IS THERE A SONG YOU DON’T LIKE BUT LIKE ITS MUSIC VIDEO?

"Obsession" by OK GO: I'm really not into their music but their music videos are some next level! Also don't go crazy about "A Temporary High" by AURORA but the visuals are so striking and thought through with the concept of god this song represents, I'm really amazed. Also remember some pretty visuals forsome kpop band but forgot who exactly they were...

11. FAVORITE SONGWRITER?

I would completely agree with you here on splitting this answer into several parts, so it will go like this:

favourite songwriter-lyricwriter:

Flo for her poetic sense and instrumental layers that rather coexist with the lyrics or highlight them or try to make it all very grandeous or try to be very tender and fragile to get into another mood. Everything about her music from lyrics to the aesethetics and music videos is multi-layered and metaphoric and I'm totally here for it! She's like an oldschool poetress that happened to adapt to the modern days because she accidentally was transported to this century...

AURORA for her unique sense of picking up emotions from other people's stories, letting them process through her heart and turning it all into little tales with each song's lyrics and instrumentals. This will always fascinate me about her as an overall approach, she's a true creator of music who will expand all the universes she has stored in her brains with making them into albums!

Yannis for his another level of being poetic with lyrics which give very poignant feelings in a sense of being deeply touched and at times a really impressive vocabulary, he's like no other lyricist makes me just go and look up another fancy word in a dictionary! I resonate the most with his approach of conveying the most aching and yearning feelings, think, he has a very special talent for this...

Jonathan Higgs for.... everything everything, pun intended. I've never met a lyrical mind THAT witty, ironic, experimental in approaches, and daring to look from different angles. If Flo is more multi-layered sonically then Jonathan is more multi-layered lyrically and thematically. You can probably write the whole dissertation on different character lores he managed to create and still hint at, there are so many Easter Eggs no, not these eggs you should give your body to here and there, you might get lost. You truly don't know what this unusual brain will come up with next and this is the most exciting part, imo. And, also, needless to say he's really capable of creating such catchy melodies with all his buddies, it's amazing!

favourite songwriter-musicwriter

Jon for being a soul of Coldplay who always adds the right tone and atmosphere, who builds up the most gorgeous melodies and has such a peaceful and flexible mind for collaborating with the other bandmembers, it's stunning, actually. He has a very peculiar way of knowing the emotion to play on his guitar and "sing" alongside with the lyrics, something absolutely unique and something I've never seen in any guitarist in exactly this way. Jon has such a broad spectrum of different emotions in his hand, seems like he has all answers to so many feelings...

A SONG OR ALBUM FROM THIS YEAR OR LAST YEAR:

Album from this year and album OF the year is Raw Data Feel but Eveyrthing Everything. It's incredibly personal for me and deals with such interesting topics in an unusual "dance your pain away" way (but not the way one can imagine though) you're in some ways caught unaware with each track here. It's about using something like AI to explain or conceal something that's difficult and maybe traumatic to explain, it's also about trying to figure your own ways out with inner self and your coping mechanism, and it's about... So much it's difficult to put into a short answer...

DO YOU PREFER LIVE RECORDINGS OR STUDIO RECORDINGS?

Gosh, depends on production: the worse it is the more I have a feeling of prefering the live recording. And in most cases live recordings contain something unique and not restricted by the label!

[boneless-mika]

In my Taylor Swift hater era so here's what I think the first 5 songs from The Tortured Poets Department are about and a song I think handles the subject better

Fortnight

This is about not being able to get over someone you dated.

It's not my preffered kind of song but I think En Del Av Mitt Hjärta by Tomas Ledin does this way better because it has rhymes and it's catchy. This is told more as a chronologic story from the perspective of what the singer is feeling whereas I feel Fortnight is just stating facts in a somewhat random order. It also features more and better metaphors like the line that contains the title "one part of my heart will always beat for you" and the perhaps cliche "there are pictures that are never erased".

The Tortured Poets Department

This kind of seems like it's about a toxic relationship where the singer really wants this to go further but her partner is not into it but also is pressuring her into staying. To be clear the singer is also acting in terrible ways pressuring her partner to stay by doing the exact same thing so they're both awful for each other.

Obviously my first thought is Our Love is God from Heathers the Musical. Sure on the surface this song makes it seem like a good relationship but the instrumentals really emphasize that something bad is about to happen. The fact their relationship leads to murder in in this song is a pretty good sign it's toxic. Like it gets so disturbing so fast. I actually think this song is clearer than Taylor's song regarding what it's trying to say because I don't think my analysis is the intended one for Taylor's song but it's the one I like most.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

It's literally just a song about being broken up with. It doesn't even explore the singer's feelings about it at all.

A song that does explore the singer's feelings about a breakup is Hikikomori by Crywank. This song is about being afraid to form new romantic relationships because your heart has been broken and kind of feeling like a failure in life because of the breakup. Despite the name Crywank have really good serious and emotional songs because they're really good at using vocals to convey feelings which I obviously love as a musical theatre fan.

Down Bad

It's about unrequited love. I thought Taylor had already made every song possible about this tbh.

Perhaps unconventional because it's not about romantic love but one of my favorite songs is Let Me Make You Proud from Tangled: the Series. I did try and find a song that was passive and like yearning more like Taylor's song but apparently I just really like when people want to take actions in songs. It obviously helps that Jeremy Jordan sings it because his voice is amazing, one of my personal favorites on Broadway. "I long for that look in your eyes when you see your son rising at last.". Do I need to say more?

So Long, London

One of the best ones on the album in my opinion because it uses a lot of metaphors and a few rhymes. It's about the death of a relationship.

My favorite song about this is Stick Season by Noah Kahan. It is a bit more of a breakup song but as I just mentioned it seems I like when the characters in my songs have agency. The first lines are what I feel makes the song feel similar. "As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined, you must've had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive" because much like So Long, London it's using location as a metaphor for a relationship. They also both have an underlying theme of imagining a different version of the person that isn't true to life. Taylor by trying to make the other person into what she wants, and Noah by dreaming about another version of the person who would still be with him.

[eldritchsquared-albums]

Hozier - Hozier

Take Me To Church - WE’RE JUST FUCKING STARTING WITH THIS ONE???????? WE JUST FUCKING START WITH THIS????????? IM GOING TO THROW UP. this is far from my favorite song but god its good. the fact that this is the FIRST SONG on this album is insane.

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - sounds vaguely gospel-y. i enjoy it. im reading these lyrics and im not too sure what the song is about but i like it.

Jackie and Wilson - also not sure what this is about, but the guitar is great.

Someone New - this one is BOUNCY. i really like the way this one sounds. i feel like itd be great live. it’s either about him falling in love way too easily, or about him finding the beauty in everyone.

To Be Alone - some sort of love song. the sound is interesting. “it feels good to be alone with you” yeah i get it actually. theres a line about running away with someone in this song. hozier i understand you

From Eden - AUGHHHHH AGHHHHHH. AGHHHH. ive loved this song for forever and i still do. it genuinely fucks me up. i love this song.

In A Week - bashes my head into the wall. okay. okay. okay. OKAY. those lyrics. punches something. im going to eat drywall

Sedated - this is so fucking good. i dont have anything specific to say. this is great.

Work Song - OHHHHHH MY GOD IM INSANE. OKAY. ALRIGHT. OOOHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDD. okay. im fine.

Like Real People Do - at this point in the album, i did start crying. this song is one i know and love a lot, but it always ends up making me emotional.

It Will Come Back - this one has a sort of twang to it that i really enjoy. for the love of god these lyrics. its got a really painful sense of yearning in it

Foreigner’s Song - i know exactly what its trying to convey, but i cant articulate it. the song is really beautiful and great to listen to. jesus christ

Cherry Wine (Live) - the cherry wine is blood. okay. normal

IN CONCLUSION - with albums with this many songs, im often scared that the songs will all sound too similar. that is NOT the case here. every song was amazing to listen to, and there wasnt a single song that was boring to me. MULTIPLE songs here i loved. big fan. oh yeah this gets a 10/10 by the way because i genuinely cannot think of a single thing that he did wrong here.

[discdetective]

MIDNIGHTS

TAYLOR SWIFT

2022 / 24 songs / 1hr24mins

⭐️⭐️⭐️

AVERAGE SONG RATKING - 5.67

TS discog ranking pt 1

Lavender Haze - 7

fun! definitely sets the scene for the album - this is probably so hugely ranked because it’s the opener and the production hasn’t had a chance to become gratingly repetitive yet - which isn’t to say it’s the most exciting thing in the world to begin with. enjoyable lyrics and mostly okay production.

Maroon - 6.2

i mean. it’s just about better than alright. the lyrics are definitely the best part - like the whole thing about the chorus having a bunch of ways to say red (wine, blood, scarlet, rust etc). at this point in the album i was already over the production.

Anti-Hero - 6.4

refreshingly bright and open production, could’ve maybe done better further into the album when you’re more fatigued from every song sounding the same. one of those taylor swift songs that’s corny but good enough that you allow it - and it’s just good enough for that. it’s no shake it off.

You’re On Your Own, Kid - 8.5

track five and it’s the first bridge that really makes you go yeah, this is a taylor swift bridge - a double edge sword of success and the notion that it shouldn’t have taken that many songs for the album to warm up. emotional and somehow nostalgic while falling firmly in with the newfangled Midnights sound - doesn’t rely on production to make you a bit sentimental. one of the most original on the record.

Snow On The Beach (feat Lana Del Rey) - 3.7

why credit someone as a feature for background vocals? other artists don’t! false advertisement and overall kind of corny. fun idea though, reminds me of when i actually did go to the beach when it snowed. points for that..

Question…? - 1

oh my god i fucking hate this song 😭😭 at this point in the album the boredom created by the repetition of the production is aggravating and maybe they tried to combat this with some of the oddest mixing choices i think i’ve ever heard - none of which work! they’re not enjoyable and don’t aid at all in making the album less boring. it’s a failed attempt that just upsets you more and leaves you yearning for another YOYOK or something similar.

Vigilante Shit - 5.8

all i can say is that it’s boring

Bejeweled - 7.7

finally something interesting again. listening to midnights in one sitting is like being drip-fed alright music in between some of the worst and/or dull production i’ve ever heard. sparkly!

Labyrinth - 3

forgettable

Karma - 8.2

like Bejeweled, Karma is a droplet of refreshing sound in a desert of Jack Antonoff being what i can only assume is lazy. fun, reminds me of halloween parties because it was released around that time. partyable, evidently

Sweet Nothing - 6.7

just like the title. cute, but ultimately leaves almost no impression on the listener.

Mastermind - 4.5

why has jack antonoff forgotten that just because it sounds polished doesn’t mean it’s produced well. at this point in Midnights it feels like the only thing being prioritised is the smoothness of the vocals or synth. just because they sound technically good doesn’t mean they’re interesting or even alright. i’m bored of saying this album is boring!

The Great War - 5

five is the only rating for this song. unbelievably - like actually they must’ve been aiming for this - mid in all senses of the word.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky - 7.9

a harrowing entry to be the one that finally begins to break free from the Midnights Mold. incredibly sad despite the production not trying particularly hard to evoke any emotion. stripped back. hate the vocal mixing, doesn’t fit the song at all.

Paris - 6

cute. above average for the below average record. not much else to say.

High Infidelity - 4

hey kids, cheating is fun

Glitch - 2

could be the most boring on the album - one of the most uneventful albums i’ve ever listened to

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve - 9.5

best song on the album as a bonus is boldddd… one of swifts best, top thirty at least. incredibly raw and emotive, beautiful lyrics and manages to lunch through the rigid production walls Midnights imposed on itself

Dear reader - 3

nothing to say, once again. what’s the point in making so many songs no one has anything to say about.

Hits Different - 7.8

fun! i actually like the production on this one, which brings its score up. the writing is mehhish at times but it keeps up the pace throughout even when it wants to lul.

Snow On The Beach (feat more Lana Del Rey) - 2.9

why is this one worse !!!!!!! it feels like they’ve taken things OUT of the mix in this one ?? what the fuck ?! all of these songs are 1 synthesiser a snare a hi hat and maybe the top two strings of a guitar at any given time why would you ever need to take anything away from any of them ?? all of these songs sound like stripped down acoustic versions of original tracks in a world where synthesisers are acoustic and we never invented guitars

Karma (feat Ice Spice) - 4

whyyyyy is ice spice’s verse in half time it doesn’t work at all even for a couple lines did anyone listen to this as it was made or did they just send her into the recording booth and put it out after a couple takes

You’re Losing Me - 7.6

while i would say YLM is overall one of the better songs off the album, it ultimately suffers the Mignidghts curse - everything bar the lyrics sounds identical to every other song on the record, and even then it’s you have to put in effort to recognise this due to the vocal production being, again, identical to every other song on the record. good bridge, verses and choruses forgettable in all honesty.

CLOSING ARGUMENTS

Midnights can often sound like how bad trips are represented in mediocre movies. the production is disorienting at times, with lyrical deliveries that repeatedly feel stumbly or out of place. in my opinion there was a clear idea, an aesthetic that someone had definitively chosen for the album, but most of the lyrics just never feel truly suited to it. if you wanted an album full of sparkly skywashed pink-blue synthpop smoke clouds, write an album full of Karmas, Bejeweleds and Lavender Hazes. leave the Question?…s and Snow on the Beach-es in the vault. sounds like a bad trip but probably made during a couple good ones.

if i was like 24 i bet i’d like it a lot more. not in a “this was made for millennials and i’m not the target audience” way, (although that’s probably at least partly true) but i just feel like 24 is the age to enjoy this album. maybe i’ll give it a call in six years.

in a word? disappointing. give it a listen anyway, you’ll like at least one song.

[whydoistilldothis]

Vulfpeck is dancing at the edge of the world.

Vulfpeck does not exist to be a vacuous excuse for positive distraction.

Vulfpeck is dancing at the edge of the world.

If you weren’t aware, the Motown-inspired band from Michigan is not another drably choreographed group of white dudes playing Berklee Funk. The group, who formed in 2011 as a four-piece, is led by the mad-hatter of a bandleader, Jack Stratton. These days their line-up has expanded to an entire circus of rotating talent. They play tight, groovy, and well-informed songs, as well as instrumentals, that put the rest of the “Nu-Funk” (urgh) Spotify playlist to shame.

Recently, I have read too many milk-toast articles proclaiming that Vulf, as they are also known, is the joyous antidote to a terrible and persecuting world.

God, one even ended by saying “the world really does need some laughter right now…”

Vulfpeck is definitely no distraction, nor do they intend to be.

However, the band’s trademark self-aware silliness does distinguish them from the majority of other artists.

Among Gen-Z and the younger Millennials, a culture of ritualistic apathy has increasingly coloured their social media outputs over the past 10 years. Causes notwithstanding, this trend has developed in parallel with a gradual deterioration in trust of institutions. Online, younger people seek meaning, truth, fulfilment, and belonging in what they can salvage from the once semi-homogeneous culture that erodes around them.

And then there is Vulfpeck. A goofy group of college graduates who’s only raison d’etre appears to be an honest revelling in their own music-making. They have undeniable musicianship, for sure, but their refusal to take themselves seriously whilst treating their music as sacred is what truly sets them apart in the industry.

The band’s dual personality is perfectly poised and coherent across their every output. For example in the music video for “Sauna”, the single-take, one-room recording session is offset by the silly towel robes and red, bell hats that the band adorns. Furthermore during their Madison Square Garden show in 2019, virtuosic solos and sparkling ballads were accompanied by the unneeded members of the band reclining on sofas at the back of the stage.

The origin the group’s sense of humour comes from their bandleader, Jack Stratton. Even before the group had formed, Jack himself would upload mildly deranged videos to YouTube. Such classics include a satirical outpouring about his emotional connection to a for-sale tape recorder, intended for the would-be viewers of a fake eBay listing.

More recently in 2018 when Spotify launched their IPO onto the stock market, Jack was featured as an ‘expert’ interviewee by major news network CNBC. The program had intended for the bandleader to talk about Spotify’s royalty system and how Vulfpeck had somewhat gained it with their Sleepify album. Instead, straight-faced, Mr Stratton described the “fundamentals” of business economics; those being the basketball moves, the “bouncepass”, “jumpshot”, and “pick-and-roll”, among many other nonsensical utterances.

Jack’s refusal to participate in the traditions of industries is by no means only symbolic. Vulfpeck is signed to its own label, Vulf Records, along with the associated bands of its members - such as Cory Wong and The Fearless Flyers. Furthermore, for their 2020 album The Joy of Music, The Job of Real Estate, Jack Stratton auctioned off the 10th spot on the album to the highest bidder, and as far as I can tell, as a marketing strategy.

In a culture where the “corecore” hashtag on TikTok gets more earnestly depressed by the day, Vulfpeck reflects the post-ironic understandings of the younger generation in an artistic form. Instead of retreating from the horrors and realities of whatever era of late-stage capitalism we are in, young people yearn for humour in places where it traditionally does not belong.

They want to be recognised for their accepting and apathetic worldview, and then laugh about it. Vulf’s success can be partly attributed to filling this comedic void in the music industry. Their apparent rejection of authority may also be a hook that draws in those who are disenfranchised to the importance of systemic structures.

Their use of this style of humour also embraces the end of the search for societal-level meaning. In return, Vulfpeck offers their own authenticity, or their best attempt at it.

This is initially seemingly contradictory. However, for young people whose valuing of power-structures has been stripped for scrap, value can be found again at the point where sincerity and insincerity meet. No better is this highlighted in the so called ‘post-ironic’ understanding.

The band’s clear talents in musicianship, song writing, and soloing, scrambled with a fully self-aware lack of seriousness embody this. And with a lack of fabricated celebrity identity, which is commonplace and self-directed in modern fame, their music leaves you the listener to insert you own meaning, for your own sake.

However, this does however cloud Vulfpeck’s identity as an artist, which is further exacerbated by the band’s lack of frontperson that is a vocalist. Instead, this role in the band changes to fit any particular song’s style or to feature an outside-the-band artist.

As the ties between artistic identity and an artist’s real singing voice weaken, what does this change mean for the case of Vulf? For a band with a carousel-like singing position and many instrumental tracks to their name, Vulfpeck exist somewhat outside of this trend.

Unlike even the rappers who use disorienting voice effects, Vulf do not have a singular singing identity to weld themselves to. As a result, for those who find sanctity in a self-affirming identity, the group exists to be inserted into one’s own personal context. Like a popular song on TikTok that is repurposed and peeled of all its prior meaning, Vulfpeck’s music is mouldable to the self-expression of those who want it.

Vulfpeck is a band who fully endorse an apathetic view of the world. They are the laughing nihilist, the straight-faced hedonist. They do not care about what people think of them, but they care deeply for the music that they make.

Vulfpeck is the soundtrack to an end that will never come.

[pennylanefics]

Home - Danny Wagner

a/n: some sweet, emotional danny bc i was feeling soft :)

You knew the band releasing an album meant that the guys would be doing lots of press, extra shows, and a tour. Of course, you were entirely happy for Danny, but this also meant being away from each other for extended periods of time.

Since you were in your last year of college, you couldn’t really afford the time or money to travel to see him as often as you’d like. You made sure to be there for the first show of their tour, which was incredible.

Now, they were touring around Europe and Asia for two months, meaning you couldn’t fly out to see them. Danny, though, made sure to keep in contact as much as he could, promising to text or call you at least twice a day.

Those two long months passed by entirely too slowly, but today was the day that Danny was finally coming home. The only problem was that they would be arriving back in the middle of the night.

“Babe, don’t you dare stay up and wait for me,” Danny tells you the night before his flight is set to take off. It was well into the day where you are, but for Danny, he was getting ready to sleep. You giggle and watch as he yawns.

“I want to see you, though.”

“And you’ll wake up to me sleeping beside you. Please don’t exhaust yourself,” he begs, his voice filled with love and adoration.

“Fine,” you promise, although you knew you were going to anyway. You hadn’t seen him in two months. As soon as he arrived home, you wanted nothing more than to just be in his arms and kiss him. And you weren’t going to sleep through it.

But, when the time came around, it was close to two in the morning, and you were fighting so hard to keep your eyes open. You put on your favorite movie to try and stay awake and finish it by the time he got home.

Just as your eyes flutter shut, the sound of keys unlocking your door wakes you up instantly. You jump up and see Danny struggling to get through the doorway with his luggage. He has yet to notice you, but when he does, he has mixed emotions.

“Danny,” you cheer tiredly, jumping into his arms. He begins to cry, nuzzling his face in your shoulder.

“I missed you,” he sobs softly. “God, I fucking missed you.”

“I missed you too, babe.” He holds you tightly against him, breathing in your scent and feeling you under his touch.

He had spent so many nights wishing he could hold you and yearning for your touch halfway across the world. He loves his job, he truly does, but he hates being away from you. He loved you too much to be away from you as long as he had been.

You stay in each other’s arms for a few minutes, just swaying side to side, relishing in one’s comfort.

“What did I tell you about staying up?” Danny lightly chastises you as he pulls away. You chuckle and shake your head, noticing the tears still falling from his eyes.

He sniffles as you wipe his tears away with the sleeve of your hoodie, that happened to be his, that you had been sleeping in for the last few days, his scent still lingering on it. He stares down at you with a grateful look in his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” you grin, wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him down, he meets your lips in a sweet kiss, his arms tightening around your body, holding you as close to him as possible at this point.

“Now,” he mumbles against your lips after breaking the kiss. “Why did you stay up when you promised not to?” Your head falls on his shoulder, a light laugh escaping your lips.

“Because I didn’t want to wait until morning to see you and kiss you.”

“I guess that’s fair enough,” he replies, kissing your forehead. “But let’s head to bed.”

“Aren’t you still on Germany time? Like isn’t it eight in the morning?”

“I’m not too tired, I slept on the plane anyways, but I just want to hold you.” Your heart bursts with love as you hear his words. Grabbing his hand, you lead him to your room and both of you crawl into bed within seconds.

You lay on your side to face Danny, curling into his chest. His arms wrap around you tightly, again, keeping you pressed to his chest.

“Fuck, I missed this so much,” he breathes out, nuzzling his nose into your hair. He takes a few deep breaths, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo.

“Me too. How…how long until you have to go back?” You hesitantly ask. Danny takes a moment before responding.

“Just a month. Then we tour South America, and then Australia for another month,” he grumbles.

“Then let’s just enjoy the time we have together again,” you whisper. Danny lets out a shaky sigh as more tears form in his eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. Although you can tell he’s withholding his emotions. You raise your head to look into his eyes, letting him know he can tell you whatever you want.

“I didn’t tell the guys this, but there were countless nights where I cried myself to sleep because I missed you so bad,” Danny admits under his breath. “I just wanted you beside me because you make me feel safe, you make me feel at home. And being away from that feeling was horrible. I longed for it. I debated telling the guys that I needed to take a week off to visit you and just…recuperate and be with you.” Tears spring to your eyes as he explains the problems he faced.

Your hand reaches up to cradle his cheek, also catching the single tear that fell from his eye.

“And I know this was expected with touring and everything, but I didn’t think it would be this hard to be away from you,” he continues, sucking in a breath to try and keep his tears at bay.

You sit up and bring Danny into your arms this time, his face falling into the crook of your neck.

“I’m here, Danny. We’re together again, everything is okay,” you whisper, beginning to play with his hair. He is able to keep his tears down as he focuses on your hands messing with his curls.

You yawn and Danny pulls back to, once again, bring you down to his chest to cuddle you into him.

“Get some sleep, baby,” he whispers, stroking your back underneath the hoodie with his hand. “I’ll be here when you wake up, alright?”

“Okay,” you smile softly, your eyes closing. “You should try sleeping as well.”

“I don’t wanna sleep yet,” he replies. “I jus’ wanna hold you in my arms while you do.”

[dwlrmoon]

Astrological Analysis: I.M "Duality"

An astrological analysis of I.M's solo album "Duality" & how his astrological placements manifest through the songs. Changkyun said that he poured his entire soul into this album, so I thought it'll be really cool to dissect the songs in the astrological lens because I'm in love with his artistry.

REMINDER

Observed & analyzed through western tropical astrology; we are missing information due to lack of confirmed birth time, so I can only deliver using the traditional 7 planets (mainly the personal chart) without a house system.

DUALITY

Having the album entitled "Duality" with songs expressing this topic (esp. the title track) reminds me of his Aquarius placements, mainly the Sun. I.M has his Sun in detriment, meaning that his Sun is "weak" or uncomfortable in that sign. As the sister sign of Leo, Aquarius symbolizes celebrities, fame, the star in tarot, as well as hopes & dreams. Aquarius can represent notoriety & infamy while simultaneously having the stereotype of the loner or outsider, not wanting to be perceived or "understood."

Using traditional rulership, Aquarius is ruled by Saturn who also rules Capricorn. If Capricorn rules authorities & conformities, Aquarius is the rebellious younger sibling refusing to conform & rather revolt, deviating from the norm. I.M placed his artistry in precedence; convincing SSE to use God Damn as the title track despite the profanity requiring him to release this album digitally in addition to him creating the tracks in his own style that may or may not be in line with k-pop or Monsta X.

GOD DAMN

In true I.M fashion the song & MV are very concupiscent, & since I already talked about the duality that is expressed through this song, let's talk about the MV specifically. Pisces rules escapism & addiction & his Pisces Venus was very on brand to go with alcohol as the imagery of getting high to hide from his frustrations. This piece is highly self-reflective & he encourages listeners to read between the lines, it's quite Saturnian in nature. I also love how the lyrics have that duality of hating & loving whoever/whatever that is ruining/comforting him—I really associate this with his Martian Moon (him assigning Misbehave as the song that represents him is so... Aries Moon).

HOWLIN'

No more taming 'bout my color I swing 'till I get, what’s the problem? Problem I ain't follow simply what I see I go follow what I need 'Cause I see that I'm loyal Imma go on my speed, even I'm slow

The 1st verse reminds me a lot of his Saturnian + Martian energy—no more wanting to be someone he's not, doing his own thing without care of what others may think. However, the last 2 lines really highlight the fixed modality of his Aquarius: I love that he says he's loyal even if he goes on his speed which can be slow; he doesn't care as long as he gets there.

I don't celebrate 'till I make it till the end Ain't time for the 'hol up' You want me be a shade but I'm made for a big wave Ain't time for the 'hol up'

This song has a lot of Saturnian themes esp. the chorus. It reminds us that Saturn rules time—he doesn't succumb to the challenges & distractions or "hold ups," rather focusing on his goal & only celebrating once he reaches the mountaintop. Saturn is karmic, it takes its sweet time to give you your rewards that you must work laboriously for. He knows he's made for something bigger (Aquarius), & with his perseverance (fixed), determination & passion (Aquarius Mars + Aries Moon), he will be rewarded despite all the struggles (Saturn).

Don't call me, I'm drivin' I just wanna keep on ballin’ Even though when you are hatin’ Woah Grab me when I'm fallin’ 'Cause I make myself so lonely You know that I'm howlin'

However, Saturn can be extremely isolating & Aquarius is akin to the underdog. Of course we don't know where his placements are, but his Pisces Venus contributes to that isolation. He feels lonely & he knows that, but he inevitable makes himself lonely which Aquarius natives can do when they develop that mentality of me v.s. the world sometimes. Keep in mind that Aquarius rules community yet the outsider, showcasing that wanting to be alone while wanting someone to be there for him. Saturn is burden & he's a lone wolf used to being alone carrying all that burden himself.

BURN

The night has become cold and now it's a meaningless fight I don't wanna waste my time on the past time Endless shot, let me head to the top I don't wanna waste my time on the past time Burn the accumulated emotions, burn Burn everything without leaving anything, burn

An Aries Moon anthem? I find that Aries placements love having fire/burning imagery if not in their songs then in their MVs. Aries is Martian, cardinal & fire by nature, which means that Aries Moons may get irritated fairly quickly—a quick temper? But they get over it super quickly, kind of like blowing off steam & then letting it go right after. The Moon rules our emotions, & I think the lyrics speak for itself here. The allusion to the fight is very Martian as well.

I'm mixed and complex, yeah I don't know myself well, eh Yesterday I couldn't empty it out, yeah I'd rather burn it, yeah The tears that fell are oil Make the flame burn higher Pour it out, no more regrets Burn it all up and high, yeah

I really enjoy I.M's introspective & intrapersonal nature; he always says he doesn't know himself well & accepts that rather than fighting it. He accepts all facets of himself, & that's very refreshing. The 2nd verse made me chuckle a little bit because the first 2 lines look Aquarius while the rest is Aries. Not to mention he has an Aquarius Mars conjunct Sun, so, more Martian energy there. Cardinal + Martian give me that attitude he portrays very well in this song—throw some more oil, let it burn more so that there'll be no regrets. Another Aries placement who wrote something like this? Yoongi.

HAPPY TO DIE

I could die right now, yeah I can never lie, yeah You bring me to sky Let me be yours till I die When you say goodbye, yeah Bury me on your heart, yeah Don't you say that word Could you keep it till I die? You brought me back to the real love I wanna get lost here forever

There is so much to unpack in this little song... The chorus is a mixture of Saturnian commitment & Aries headstrong, passionate reckless energy motivated by his romanticist Pisces Venus. The title itself, the whole concept of this song, is fundamentally Pisces (his DSC would be really cool to talk about here, if we had the birth time, but we don't, so).

We're childish like we were when we used to play back then I let go of rationality as if I'm drawn by the wind I don't know what this feeling is Even if I try to pretend I don't know, everything seems to be obvious, yeah I don't know, I like it the way it is I don't know me well, I don't know I guess it's not a lie that I really like you I'm happy to die right now

Verse 1 truly has my heart in a grip. He has a rational & intellectually-minded Saturnian Mercury & Sun, yet once he's in love he gets enamoured & childish, rendered completely irrational. It's giving me Aries meets Pisces—of the moment, idealistic, just overwhelming emotions taking control of his Saturnian mind, which I find funny because he has Moon square Mercury.

Things of mine might go away and shape Will just change, but don't you change When I'm low, could you make me not alone? I could die right now if we were just this crazy about each other

Pisces is sentimental & can represent past lives, that feeling of being stuck in the past? Pisces Venus is visionary & idealistic, they're more in love with the idea of love than love itself sometimes. Here we see that theme of isolation again, his Aquarius could play a role here, but his Pisces placements are also desperate to be loved. The last line, like said before, is utterly Pisces because Romeo & Juliet is known to be a Pisces type of relationship, plus with that Aries Moon... it just makes sense since Aries Moons love the rush & passion.

시든 꽃 FLOWER-ED

Somehow I have no strength to resist I stay right where I am It's not like I'm longing for someone But I'm standing there

Personally loving how his songs gradually grow more & more Piscean? The overwhelming emotion of yearning with no one to long for is so Pisces/Jupiterian Venus in general. Like I said, they're idealistic & in love with the idea of love more than anything—not the happy kind of love either. I notice that Jupiterian Venuses play with the theme of wanting a lot, mainly because they are ruled by the planet of expansion. Distance is a huge theme in Jupiterian signs, & they idealize that.

When you step on me like it's nothing I desperately want you to come back and hug mе I deeply remember your smilе that laughed at me While I was being illuminated by you

Because Pisces placements love the idea of love & the feeling of longing for someone they can get into the habit of sacrificing themselves, hence their association with the hanged man in tarot. They are too focused on the fantasy of love to take off their rose tinted glasses.

I don't really blame you I know your days by my side Have faded away Please don't disappear, oh

The hand that held me, the eyes that captured me are all blind The scattered hands, the shining eyes are gone

I don't know what else to say here, like, I think you guys understand how these verses really depicts his Pisces Venus very well... With a Venus conjunct Saturn it can really emphasize isolation & rejection as well—this aspect feels like they are deprived of love, so they crave it desperately even if it hurts them which is a theme of Pisces. Him titling this track "withered flower" in Korean is so Pisces Venus of him overall.