#goddamn do i crave that tho. i hate that it works

[zaphodkilledthespeedforce]

It's doesn't count as getting out of hand if you're aware of it right

It's not parasocial if I know it's fake!

....I may be developing another Special Interest: Actual Human Edition

[csainzoperator]

yummy: LN4 ☆

summary: y/n is a chef in the mclaren hospitality who is famous for her fabulous recipies. everyone is head over heels for her recipies, and a certain someone is most definitely more than head over heels. but not just for the food.

(lando norris x fem!reader)

read more under the cut!

itsmey/n has posted!

another day at work! for the british gp, their special "sticky toffee pudding" was a success :)

tagged: landonorris and oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 76,123 others.

landonorris it was so yum (she fed us the so called desert forcefully after giving us a 4 course meal)

- oscarpiastri you're such an ungrateful brat. it was great, bestie itsmey/n

- itsmey/n thank you pastry, and lando...i might leave you to starve to death.

lewishamilton i would kill for a pudding rn! you should drop by merc hospitality y/n!

- mclaren look at you trying to steal our goddamn chef....

f1wagsss oh my god you're so pretty

landonorris has posted!

P2 AT HOME RACE BABY!! so proud of the team to be finishing at P2 and P4. also special thanks to y/n for feeding us well :)

tagged: oscar piastri and itsmey/n

liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55, itsmey/n and 872,182,283 others.

landonorizz are we gonn ignore the fact that y/n just made it to a lando post???

lechaaair OH Y/N FEEDS US TOO. SHE SERVES ALL THE DAMN TIME. MOTHER 🙏🏼🙏🏼

itsmey/n its literally my job tho...?

- oscarpiastri some people are bad at their job. he's appreciating you for being good. (lando you fr have no rizz man)

carlaando lando are you trynna make a move GN

- landonowinss BROS PROBABLY REGRETTING RN 💀

(time skip!)

it was the hungarian gp. you were in the mclaren hospitality. the mclaren kitchen was quite big, and your co-workers were extremely sweet. you mainly cooked for the drivers and mechanics, while guiding the others. you were tasting a dish when you feel a presence behind you. you immediately recognise who it is.

"what is it now, lando?" you ask with a knowing smile on your face. he sits down on the counter beside you and watches you as you work. "i was wondering if you would like to, maybe, just maybe, come outside with me and sit down and talk and get some food you know?" he blabbers

"are you asking me out on a date?" you tease him. "well, yeah. only if you want it to be. its okay if you say no" he says with a sad smile on his face. you cup his face with one of your hands and give his cheeks a squeeze. "ofcourse i'll come, dumbass. now shoo, let me work. you're too distracting"

the smug smile he has on his face makes you blush. "so i am distracting huh? what else am i? you can give me details when we go on that date" he winks at you and walks off. you just simply shake your head in amusement.

the date goes well. to be honest, more than well. you both have the most fun ever. lando is everything that you craved. he was the sweetest boy. day by day, meal by meal, both of you started talking more, discovering each other. one fine night, in his apartment in london, where you taught him how to bake his favourite cake, he surprises you by asking you to be his girlfriend. you say yes without hesitation. you knew he wasn't going to play around with your heart.

it was the brazilian gp. lando had placed P2 again! you were the proudest girlfriend to exist, and the happiest. you were just so incredibly proud as he was doing so good this year.

itsmey/n has posted!

brazil you were brilliiianttt <3 liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, landonorris and 92,233 others.

f1wags HOLD UP. SOFT LAUNCHING????

oscarpiastri yuck i hate being around the hospitality now.

landonorris 🌟

- carlandodod PLS IM NOT OK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

- leclercvc oh. my. god. guys. i think its lando and y/n.

f1gosssip apparently some people saw looking for his "girlfriend" after the race, and some people even saw him kissing a girl in the mclaren garage! we hope its y/n 😫

y/nfannn MOTHER WHO IS THAT

landonorris has posted!

brazil with bae. thank you team for making the P2 happen! more to come.

p.s i don't believe in soft launches. she let me hard launch after 8 races 🖐🏼

tagged: itsmey/n and mclaren

liked by mclaren, itsmey/n, charles_leclerc and 827,123,12 others.

oscarpiastri GAG

carlandooo MAMA Y PAPA

carlossainz55 finally mate! congrats :)

maxverstappen1 lando isn't a kid anymore

f1wags OFFICIALLY OUR FAV WAG (with lily obv)

itsmey/n i love you, baby! super proud <3

- landonorris i love YOU. so much. so much.

paddockclubb 8 RACES?? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON OMG

the end ♡

[samyanggs]

can you please do yandere headcannons for heimdall and buddha? (also srry if I did this wrong, it’s my first time requesting for anything)

ahhh sorry I just got out of school and is currently going home. Ty for the request! And you’re fine! I can do heimdall and Buddha Yandere headcanons. Ive got a headache tho so sorry if some of these doesn’t make sense I’ll edit it later on after my headache is gone (I can barely think rn so I’m sorry if this isn’t done to your liking)

Warnings: gore(?), mentions of violence(?), manipulation(?), mentions/implied kidnapping, and others (I don’t support any of these actions done in this, this is just for entertainment for fictional characters)

Yandere headcanons

Buddha

Where did you come from and why were you so goddamn pretty? EVERYTIME he saw you or talked to you he got even more mesmerised by you. You even went out of your way to get him some sweets to snack on. You were perfect, at least in his eyes. You deserved everything so he did whatever he could for you. And you only.

He absolutely hated seeing somebody other than him talk, flirt or even look at you. If they went missing the next day after looking at you? He totally didn’t have anything to do with it.. totally.. anyways how was your day?

Someone touched you? Even if it was a friendly touch? No. Nobody can touch you nobody but Buddha at least.. he’ll allow family members and close friends but if anyone gets too close or goes a bit too far? Gone, and maybe dead the next day.

God you were plaguing his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He wanted, craved and needed your touch. Doesn’t matter where, his hand? His arm? His head? He doesn’t mind. He just wants you.

He will actually give and devote his entire being to you if it meant that you would be with him forever. Numerous thoughts came to his mind EVERYTIME he thought about you. All of them, needy, wanting and craving for you.

You recently got a boyfriend? Oh. Seems that he was too late.. maybe he should just give up? … HAH never. He’s never going to give you up. You’re his and he’s yours. It goes both ways. If you already took his heart (despite unknowingly) he might as well take your heart too.. literally or metaphorically? yes.

Oh no.. your boyfriend broke up with you.. and now you’re crying in his arms.. would you like to stay with me? Do you need anything? You deserve someone better. He said hugging you, whispering in your ear. He comforted you. He made himself keep a straight and sympathetic face but he honestly couldn’t be any happier. Now that, that.. that person was out of the picture he might have a chance.

Let me take care of you. I can do it for you. Let me do it. He did everything for you.. everything that someone like a boyfriend would do to be exact. Was he doing this on purpose? Perhaps, but it was working, you started to become easily flustered, blushing and stuttering mess around him. You’re finally his. And only his.

Heimdall

Uhh hellooooo? Who were you exactly? And why did you catch his interest so goddamn fast with those amazing looks of yours? You seemed like a good person and you were so adorable and cute.. he couldn’t just let you go like that. He went up to you and made conversation and he was right. You were an amazing person AND you were cute and adorable, well to him at least.

He made sure to talk to you everyday until you got closer to him. You were in his mind 24/7 without stop, he even started dreaming about you! You were so perfect and you both fitted together like a puzzle piece.. you guys just clicked. He’d be damned if he couldn’t have you.

He saw someone talking to you and he got jealous.. maybe too jealous because the next thing he knew he had somebody tied up to a chair in his basement. The next, he was picking up a metal bat and beating the shit out of the guy. He put down the bat soon after thinking that it was enough for now and warned the guy if he ever tried to go near you, warn you, look at you or even breath the same air as you that he’d kill him. The guy quickly agreed, afraid of heimdall.

He loved seeing you smile so he tried his best to make you smile whenever. He wanted, needed, craved and lived for your smile. He will sell his soul to you if it meant that you would keep smiling so pleasantly to him.

He was so terribly jealous once he found out that you found a lover. However, just to make you happy he endured the pain, jealousy and rage that he had in his body anytime he saw or heard your boyfriends name.

Your boyfriend cheated on you? Ok. Now your boyfriend was hurting you? It was bad when you both were together anyways but now he’s cheating on you? Thats the trigger. He comforted you, holding you close relishing in your warmth and touch whispering sweet nothings to you as he planned out how he was going to murder talk to him.

If your “boyfriend” suddenly disappeared the next day, he had no idea on who did it! He swears! But it was okay now. At least your boyfriend won’t hurt you anymore. A small price to pay for your happiness..

[chainsawcorazon]

i was crushed when angel said buffy could handle herself in home bc like….. she wasn’t. she was drowning, but it’s not like he could read her mind. buffy repressed until the very end until she was finally released from being the only one with the sacred duty, whereas even tho angel DID come back to help her, he didn’t overstay. im glad she wasn’t the one who put him back on the right path in s5 bc not only were they not ready to talk just yet, but angel did not come into his own, not even in not fade away. the story of buffy and angel is a decades-long one, and i think angel needed a LOT more time to come into his OWN power, whereas buffy was finally released from hers in chosen. even tho los angeles burned in not fade away, im glad he had to go at it knowing his friends were mostly dying if not dead. if the metaphor is to suffer until the end, then suffering it is. im much more appreciative of cordelia’s part in angel’s story now bc truth be told, angel’s story was too difficult for joss to tell in just a few seasons. here’s a man whose devil never really dies because HE is the devil, and until angel can learn to mourn his losses without implementing a new timeline every time things just Do Not Go His Way, he’s never going to become human. he hates himself too much, is willing to have a hissy fit at every turn, can’t handle his losses and CANNOT deal with his goddamn emotions to save his undead life. even tho i believe not fade away would have been different if we got a season six, we didn’t NEED a season six. you couldn’t tell angel’s redemption in five or even ten seasons. his sins are aplenty, and what he deserves is up for debate, but what we DO know is that he’s not ready to become human again. he’s got to love a hundred more people and lose them, deal his catholic guilt and resolve his religious trauma, work out the daddy issues and own that he’s used and abused people both without and WITH a soul, come out of the closet and admit he enjoys sex with both men and women and demons, admit there’s a part of him that’s always craved finality and death, and ACCEPT that he IS a monster at heart.

and that monsters have a choice too. to DO good, not BE good, bc even after five seasons of angel and three seasons of buffy, angel still had to struggle with the concept of what’s inherent vs what’s learned. he never really forgave himself for anything, and sometimes he got too much of a pass to put his sins to rest by establishing a couple of new timelines, but like, hey, he’s both a champion and a harbinger of the apocalypse, right?

until he chooses to be a champion for good. until he can forgive himself for his sins and accept that angelus is a part OF him and not a piece to repress forever. if buffy’s story is a metaphor for the inevitable agonies of adolescence and the crushing loneliness that comes with it, then angel’s metaphor is that the past never really dies. and you can’t kill it, but you can’t brood and repress it either. bc redemption isn’t eating rats in a sewer for a couple of decades, just like establishing new timelines doesn’t erase the fact that he’d killed his son to save innocent lives and ruined his chances of being buffy’s human househusband. the fight is forever, forever working on yourself and helping the helpless, and finally accepting that even he himself is just a human being, and that it’s a CHOICE to wake up and do good everyday. angel wasn’t ready for that. he might not be for a long, long time, but trust, when he finally grows the fuck up and can introduce himself as liam at the town christmas party without buckling down in shame, buffy will be right at the center of the dance floor, waiting for him.

[l4verq]

crossed out | b.b

bucky barnes x reader

in which you’re one of the names on bucky’s list

warnings : angst, fluff?, mentions of choking

fic : one shot

a/n : u know i’m a sucker for therapy bucky lol

He should have skipped today’s session.

Cause he’s starting to regret coming when she brings it up.

“You gonna tell me about her?” Cecelia questions, casually flicking through a thick folder labelled James B.B.

But it was never casual.

Bucky knew she was observing his every move, his every tick. And he’d been pretty good at faking through every session until now.

“I thought you were helping me make amends.” He forges an unamused smile, which was second nature now.

“Yes and that’s why I asked you about her.” She looks up from the folder, the smallest smile tugging at her lips.

“It says here that you guys were complicated.” She continues, eyes skimming over a particular page.

Complicated was the last thing he’d use to describe it.

Cause it was the one thing that gave him some clarity, hope that he could be deserving of love again someday.

“We used to date. We broke up.” He gruffs, crossing his arms.

Maybe he should fake a mechanical failure in his arm, reschedule for another time.

“Do you still love her?”

He doesn’t answer but it’s written all over his face and Cecelia can read him like a book.

She turns over his list that she’d assigned him to make, eyes trailing down names until it reaches a hastily crossed out name at the end.

“Why don’t we pick this up next week? I hope you’ll be more comfortable to talk about it then.” She hands him back the small, black notebook.

He hesitantly takes it back, his feet already springing to get out of the room.

Was it just him or was the air running out in this tiny room.

“And, James?” She calls out.

He looks back, slightly winded.

“Remember, sometimes you need to just take a leap of faith, trust your heart.”

He nods solemnly, almost tripping over his legs trying to get to the door.

Hands fumbling over the handle, he’s greeted by a rush of cool air when he finally opens the goddamn door.

He stuffs the notebook in his pocket, taking big strides towards the exit.

It’s the same everyday.

Keep his head down, one sharp left, stop by the nearby cafe if he feels like it.

But today, he takes a right, taking out his flip phone he prefers to the touch screens these days.

Punching in the only number he knows, his stomach’s doing flips.

Don’t pick up, don’t pick up.

“So you do know how to call someone.” Sam picks up after a few rings.

He could almost hear the stupid smirk.

“How are you?” He cringes, the grip on his phone tightening.

It’s a small pause before Sam chuckles, “Y/N’s doing fine. In fact, she just got back from a mission in Prague yesterday.”

Of course, you’d still be going on missions, it was the only thing you knew.

“That’s not why I called.” He huffs, leaning against his car now.

It was an old, beat up Honda that he’d fixed up from the local junkyard.

“Really? Then enlighten me.”

It was Cecelia’s fault for bringing you up. If she hadn’t brought her up, he wouldn’t be here doing this.

“Where is she?” He closes his eyes, wanting the ground to just crack open and swallow him whole.

“Right where you left her.”

He mumbles a hasty goodbye cause he’s not sure he can trust himself to keep his composure any longer.

Getting into the car, he pulls out the notebook, going through the list.

He’d ticked off the list last month, even adding a few more names just to avoid the crossed out name at the end.

He jams the keys in, the car purring to life, before he can change his mind.

-

The door is taunting him.

He doesn’t know how but it is.

A quick exhale and he raises his hand to knock on it, half hoping you won’t open it.

But you do.

He always loved your eyes cause they held so much life to them.

Like for now, confusion morphing to recognition and rage in an instant.

You’re in bad shape, he can gather from the slight limp and bruises.

It feels like forever before you call his name in disbelief, what he’s longed to hear for so long.

He wishes you’d curse him out, hit him or tell him to go away cause that’s what he deserves.

But you don’t.

Instead, your pretty eyes brim with tears.

“Don’t.” He grits his teeth, unable to meet your eyes.

He always hated to see you cry.

“Then, why’d you leave?” Your voice breaks as months of bottled up heartache pour out.

He had to.

You were the only right thing he’d done in a long long time and he couldn’t mess it up.

“I needed to fix myself before I could trust myself around you.”

He grimaces as he remembers the life draining out of your face, while his hands were wrapped around your neck.

That very night he’d left, requested for therapy and could only hope it would work.

But it didn’t.

There was no fixing anything, he’d realised that waking up from nightmares far too many times.

“You could have picked up the phone.” Your voice barely above a whisper, stinging like a nasty burn.

He almost did, everytime.

But he hated himself too much to allow that.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all he can whisper, fighting the urge to take you in his arms.

“If you’d just let me in, realise that I do understand you.” You’re basically pleading at this point but you don’t care.

“I know you do. But you don’t have to. You deserve a better guy.” He says the same thing when he left like a broken radio.

“There is no better guy for me, Bucky. Why can’t you get that through your thick skull?” You limp over closer to him.

You know he’s focused only on your limp, eyes filled with concern as they rake over your wounds.

“Does it hurt?”

The same thing he always used to ask after a mission while tending to your injuries.

“Yea, here.” You pat the left side of your chest, biting down a smile.

He has to fight back one too, but it’s kinda hard.

You meet his eyes, a little too long cause you’ve missed gazing into them every morning.

Maybe this is the leap of faith Cecelia keeps droning on about, he thinks as he leans in, “We should take a look at that, then.”

You sniffle, “I’m still mad at you.”

He laughs, which involuntarily makes you 2% less mad.

“I missed you.” He whispers, his lips inches away from yours.

You don’t have to say it back cause he knows.

He leans in closer, ghosting over your lips, waiting for your approval.

You close the distance, lips crashing into his almost in desperation.

Which you regret almost immediately cause you taste blood.

A split lip and kissing, not so pretty.

He pulls away and you mewl, pulling him back.

“You’re only making your lips worse.” He chuckles, hands slipping into yours.

Instead, he kisses your forehead, trailing all the way to your lips where he pecks them gently.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers again, head leaning on yours.

“I forgave you a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to come back.” You sob, tears springing out again.

He pulls you into his chest, steady hands you’ve craved for so long.

Gently rocking you back and forth, he strokes your hair, fleeting kisses to calm you down.

You’re struggling to keep your legs stable as your eyes grow heavy but you ignore the blatant aches in your body cause you don’t want to leave his embrace.

And he somehow always seems to notice.

“You need to rest.”

You shake your head, holding onto him even tighter.

He knows he won’t win against your stubborn ass so he lifts you up carefully, legs swinging over his arms while you snake your hands around his neck for support.

“Stay.” You mumble as he takes you in the room you two used to share.

And he does.

Boy, was Cecelia in for a ride next session.

-

a/n : im cringing as i post this🧎🏻‍♀️🔫🏃🏻‍♀️jsneyswjausowkaw but supeerr excited for tfatws this friday :)) also i named bucky’s therapist for convenience lol im pretty sure she’s not named in the first ep? i could be wrong tho

[nedsseveredhead]

I was tagged by @loveyourcrookedneighbour ❤

favorite color: Blue or dark red!

currently reading: I can’t read :’) Waiting for the next warrior cats book tho!

last song: Fighting With The Melody by Jimmy Urine asdfgh it was on my spotify weekly.

last movie: The Devil’s Carnival!

last series: Technically Puppet History asdfg

sweet, savoury or spicy? Spicy!!

craving: Chicken Biriyani my beloved

tea or coffee: Tea with cream and sugar! (im more of a latte person when it comes to coffees)

currently working on: artfight!

unpopular movie/TV show opinion: Hmmmm... I think its that showrunners/actors/etc shouldn’t be as open with fans on social media. Nothing comes of it but trouble usually and the parasocial relationship the fans gain just. Isn’t worth it.

a movie you liked and everyone else hated: Lmao Scott Pilgrim Vs The World its fun okay

a movie you hated and everyone else liked: Can’t think of a movie, but I know book wise everyone raves about Ender’s Game but i fucking. Hate it So Much sdfgh (I know Ender’s Game was a movie too but I refuse I love myself too much)

a movie you think deserved to be more famous: The Life Of David Gale. We watched it in my college screen writing class (don’t ask) to learn how to structure well thought out twists and FUCK when I tell you I was screaming the whole goddamn time theres just SO MUCh. S O  M UCH.

a show you would sacrifice many others in order to save: sdfgh I’m not sure about show.. Castlevania maybe??? 

a fun fact about yourself that doesn’t come up in conversations: 

celebrity crush: I don’t know any actors im so sorry asdfg (i mean i KNOw of them but no one that id fantasize about asdfg)

something you love about where you live: Uhhh Hornses... (also love my roommates asdfg)

something you can’t do but wish you could: Swordfight... like longsword. I can fence but its a different type u know?

one thing the pandemic made you miss, that wasn’t even your thing before: UHHHH.... Ima say museums but like they Are my thing I just didnt go enough

Ill tag.... @decafdoppio , @sadmartigan , @maxtuscactus , @spidercrimes, @tamaslin - Only if you want to tho!!

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[det395]

how do u think hannibal woulda felt about the term "eat the rich?". Good because it's people eating people, or bad because he is the rich? would love to hear ur take on this

FUCK i love this question hsgdaj and i have indeed thought this through many times

unfortunately hannibal has no rights he’s an opulent capitalistic bitch and probably a landlord who definitely has unethical securities and uses offshore tax havens and commits extensive tax fraud every year. and all he does is kill service workers!!! service workers go through enough shit honestly give them a break. id be rude to a rich prick like hannibal if he came to my work TOO. and he’s in elitist circles he MUST see how insufferable other rich people are. plus rich people probably eat healthier because they have the resources for it so wouldn’t the meat be better? it’s not like he has a problem getting past security and leaving no evidence with his goddamn murder suit so how much harder can rich people be? hannibal is just THAT insufferable and pretentious himself with more cultural capital than any person should legally have so i think he only eats the rude, not the rich

BUT i like to think that Will could change his mind. this is a deleted line that fueled my socialist Will theory, along with knowing he was poor his entire childhood

Hannibal: Harboring a half-buried grudge against the rich?

Will: Aren’t we all?

as murder husbands hannibal would probably want to bring will to all these elite cultural activities and will would just absolutely hate everyone that’s there and while he’s working through his whole vigilante complex i BET that he’d have enough hatred for the rich that they would fit in his good-to-kill category cuz he can’t just search for serial killers every time han wants a snack. and if we think about it, the rich are indirectly responsible for many deaths so who’s the real killers we gotta look out for huh? will would totally continue to be a hypocrite with fucked up morals and use these excuses!

i dont even think hannibal would mope around much bc it’s worth it to see will in action and he doesnt give a fuck about them rlly, but he’d probably start annoying debates about it all the time. then will would drag him away from all the poor service workers who are just doin their best and would just happen to redistribute wealth and destroy corrupt assholes everywhere. it’s so much better than guillotining because at least you get some valuable resources (organs) out of it so the rich would not completely worthless! 

this is also making me think about if will would even put up with the luxury or if he would make them compromise and keep his modest lifestyle. i think he’d also get a job even tho hannibal has enough to support them a million times over bc he’s like that. and hannibal would be like hiring workers to do maintenance at their house if like the fridge broke or smth and will would be like NO that’s a waste of money Let me get my tool box. anyway this has gone on far too long. 

tldr hannibal does not eat the rich but will does and could convince him and i now crave a hannibal marxist au fic

[vanaera]

The Constellations of the Big and Small Spoons

[Moodboard created by the amazing @jhspetitegf] Synopsis | You’re sick and your roommate’s gone for her hometown for the next days so your bestfriend, Jeon Jungkook (who loves you cares so, so much), plays nurse for the entire night. What he did not expect is to find himself also burning hot–moreover on your bed with your body intertwined with his. (OR: you and Jungkook’s single brain cells try to make sense of the night except Jungkook has his heart-shaped and yours, well, is just plain weird…or not? ) Characters | Jungkook x  reader (Football player!jjk x writer + childhood friend!you; college!au + bestfriends to lovers! tho more like idiots to lovers) Genre | So much FLUFF (welcome to the TPAHR Universe) Wordcount | 3.3k A/N | Sorry for my inactivity guys, uni’s been a little too hard on me lately :(((( Anyway, here’s something I made as a gift for all my hons who patiently waited for another installment of this drabble series. Have fun reading and Happy Jungkook Day!

Read more of football!jk drabbles in The Prince and His Rose

               The inky skies of the midnight haze are already sweeping across the room and yet, Jeon Jungkook feels the sun, even in its absence, is cursing him to the depths of hell. Scorching heat laps at his back, making him sweat even when the AC is blasting frigid air to his toes. A beaming glow, hot like the blinding afternoon daylight, seems to seep between his lashes, keeping his eyes excruciatingly wide open in the wake of the night. In this ungodly hour, such beam of light is non-existent, but Jungkook still feels it and he can’t do anything about it.

               “You’re still a…awake, Kook?”

               Jeon Jungkook can’t do anything about this heat when its very source is lying next to him–too close to him. Your legs are wound around his, your arms looped around the dip of his waist, and your breath fans against his nape, he could practically feel his baby hairs rising in succession.

               However, at your question, the only thought taking up every space in his mind is the question: What does he do now? Does he answer you? Should he pretend to be asleep? Or, do he–            

               “A-am I being too clingy? S-sorry…” Jungkook feels you withdraw your arms and he panics. He immediately turns on his side, not caring about the sheets of your bed uncomfortably tangling around his legs.  Jungkook’s hand shoots from his side, wrapping around your wrist that you have retreated back to your chest.  He sees the surprise written on your face and he instantly unclasps his hand, keeping them crossed across his chest, just like your current position.

               “N-no! You’re not clingy…I just,” Jungkook sighs and decides to let honesty play his cards. “I suddenly felt…weird.”

               You look at him, eyes peering into him and he gulps. But before he can explain himself, you have already opened your mouth and asked, “Wh-why? Is it because of me? I-I’m sorry…”

               Jungkook bites his lip as his heartbeat start to thunder loud and clear behind his ears, an imminent sign the songs in his chest are about to play anytime soon. He stares at you, drinking in your bleary eyes and furrowed forehead. If he’s gonna be honest now, everything about his current position is indeed all because of you.  

***

               It started with you overworking yourself again into the first month of the semester and Jungkook only knew about this when your common friend, Park Jimin, texted him you’re absent in the communication class you share with him. And Jungkook knows you care too much about your academic standing, with your scholarship and all, to tick off at least one of your course’s permitted leaves.

               “It’s not that bad,” you told him once you woke up and saw his worry-streaked face, his form crouching next to your bedside, but Jungkook begs to differ. First of all, he found you slumped on your desk that afternoon hair uncombed, clothes unwashed, lunch pack you probably bought for the day still untouched, and a mess of papers splayed around your head, with a stray piece even covering your face. And second, he realized you’ve come down with a flu the moment he  noticed your labored breaths and felt your skin burning up. So of course, this is bad. Jungkook frowns at the careless shrug you give him and it deepens when you tried to laugh at the situation and told him you’re fine and he should go back to his dorm even when you’re tucked up in your sheets, face pale, and voice hoarse like death.  

               Of course, he didn’t listen to you. With the years he’s grown with you, he always knew you easily get sick and take too long to get well. He would always hear your mom’s exasperated voice next door when she scolds you for getting drenched under the rain or standing too long under the sun. All of these were for the best of you, ten-year-old Jungkook found out, because when you turned seven, you got hospitalized for five days after coming down with an illness from just playing under the rain with him for an hour. As soon as you got discharged, your mom asked him to keep an eye on you if you ever try to pull off some stupid shit again. With three years ahead of you in age, Jungkook easily accepted such responsibility and for the next ten years, he zealously kept his promise to your mom.

               So now with you sick and your roommate gone for her hometown for the next two days, there are no further questions to be asked. Jungkook will stay by your side for the night. Three years of coming-and-going to your dorm is enough for him to memorize that every Wednesday, your RA does not do her rounds. His butt is safe for tonight from momentary bad landings on the ground whenever he has to escape from your window.  

               Taking care of you is easy. He knows playing along with your whines will get him to make you eat the food he nearly cut a finger for in preparation. Asking you to tell him another run-over of your stories is the key to coax you to ignore your work for the mean time and take a shower. Finally, letting you ramble about the most random things is the ultimate power move to get you into bed and tuck you under the sheets. He still goes for this technique even though he ends up with the most ridiculous ideas plaguing him in his sleep like that time you wondered what if the Cerberus has its body reversed: instead of three heads and one body, it has one head and three bodies.    

               However, this night was different from the other nights he played nurse because this is the first time the power move did not work on you.

               “Come lay next to me.”

               “What?!” Jungkook whips his head to you, fingers frozen in the middle of arranging the papers on your desk.

               “Come lay next to me,” you repeat, voice still soft but the conviction in it clearer. Jungkook straightens his back and faces you with a deadpan stare. The usual “No, Y/N, I won’t lie next to you. I have some blankets. I’ll sleep on the floor,” is already on the tip of his tongue. But as soon as he took a step towards you, your ultimatecounter-atack is played out in front of him: you with your puppy eyes and your bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Jungkook immediately freezes. Such sight used to affect his soft spot for you that will have him willing to consider your request back when he only saw you as a friend. But now–damn, not only does it affect his soft heart, it also instantly attacks a part of his brain–a part where he lets his feelings cloud his rational thinking and is most of the time occupied by you (in short, his whole brain–just kidding).  

               So there is no surprise Jungkook will only manage to squeak, “What?” amidst the tornado going on his body and the gigantic flash of red ready to take over his cheeks.

               Unaware of his interior war with himself, you only fixed your gaze on him and said, “Come lay next to me. I’m feeling too cuddly and…lonely. Yeah, lonely. I didn’t manage to talk with anyone yesterday and I crave some human connection, which also only made me miss my bestfriend more.”

               Jungkook is still rooted in his position, still giving you that troubled expression (brows knitted together, face flushed, lips parted in a weird semi-scowl, semi-smile that sometimes troubles you yourself), so you muttered, “Promise, you can leave my side as soon as I fell asleep.”

               Jungkook bites his lip but wordlessly goes to your side of the bed to raise his hand to your direction, pinky jutted out. “You promise?”

               You grin at him. “Aren’t we already too old for pinky swears? You’re making me look like I’m destroying your conscience by just asking you to keep me company.”

               “Because you do–Goddamn it, Y/N, just promise me or not?!”

               “Fine, fine, fine, I promise,” you interlock your pinky with his and seal the deal with a kiss on your thumb. “There, so can you know lay next to me? So I can also end your agony as soon as possible?”

               “Damn, woman, you’re so demanding.” Despite such remark, Jungkook concedes and goes to the other side of your bed. After he finally tucks himself next to you with your blanket pulled to his chest like you do, he fixes you with a begrudging frown. “There. Satisfied?”

               You laugh, “Yeah, so much!” You pulled his right arm closer to you, spreading his palm open to slot your fingers between the spaces of his own. Giggling at your now-intertwined hands, you turn to his side and look up at him. “Don’t you feel reminiscent of sleeping like this when we used to have sleepovers in your house?”

               “Yeah, totally. Can you now sleep?” Jungkook answers with an annoyed huff, facing away from you and you only giggle at him.

               “Okay, grumpy StarKook,” you chortle. “Remember not to get too close. You may get sick, too, and you can’t have that for tomorrow’s practice.” Drawling on your words, you pressed yourself further on your side of the bed to create more space between the two of you. 

               It is only when your soft snores fill the room that Jungkook breaks from his stiff position. He turns to your side, facing your curled-up form. The circles under your eyes have become darker than last week and your collarbones protrude on your skin a little too much for his liking. And he hates himself for not noticing anything earlier. He hates himself for missing out too much on you these days. He hates himself for making it up to you only now. But most of all, he hates himself for his inability to just outright say to you that he no longer sees you as just a friend but a person who’s unknowingly owned his heart.

               He hates how he can’t easily return the sweet sentiments you generously pour on him. His lips conditioned to say the opposite of what his heart meant in fear of losing you with the burden he’s impending to give you once you knew everything about the songs in his heart. And even if he tried to make up for his poor choice of words with his actions, he hates how his progress is close to nothing in trying to make you see the way he sees you whenever you feel insecure, un-loved, un-qualified to live in the world. Because, you are so, so much more than the faults you always see in yourself.

               So, even if Jungkook feels he’s still far from touching your heart the way you did his when you helped him realize his own passion, he won’t stop trying. Even if sometimes he gets easily knocked off his feet and rational thoughts fly away from his head the moment his eyes just as so much meet yours–Jungkook won’t stop loving you.

               Jungkook sees the way you suddenly shift closer to him, forehead scrunched and lips frowning in discomfort. He raises his hand and awkwardly pats your hair. That seems to do the trick as the lines on your forehead smoothen out, your lips curving into a small smile. Jungkook then feels a squeeze on his hand and his heart instantly warms into a soft mush at the way you managed to keep yourself far from him so as not to infect him, but still near enough for you to reach him.

               Jungkook’s about to sweep away the strand of hair that has fallen astray on your face when–

               “Ko-ook, I…felt so bad today.”

               Jungkook immediately tucks away his hand back to his chest. Your eyes are still closed, chest heaving evenly with your breaths so Jungkook’s not sure if you’re just sleep-talking or just letting him off the hook of what he’s about to do. Nevertheless, he replies, “W-why?”

               “Be…because I can’t write these days and I…and my studies take up too much of my time and I just–I don’t knoow, feel like I’m not improving at aall.”

               “I–,” Jungkok gulps “Well, I can help you with your studies?”

               “No offense, Kook, but I don’t trust you with my pa-papers…My program is a reading course and you a-already sleep halfway through a five-paged short stooory.”

               Jungkook laughs, “Okay, touché.” Damn, even in your drowsy state you still roast him well.

               Despite his small chuckles, you continue on, still serious. “Bu…but what if I can’t find the time to wri–write anymore and end up not getting any of my stories published?”

               Almost instantly, Jungkook replies, “You will get published.” Among all of the things he has agreed with, this is the only one he can be a hundred percent sure of.

               “How did you know?”

               “Because I know you will. And because I’ll make sure I’ll be the first person to buy a copy of your book.” Jungkook squeezes your hand, smiling.

               “You…you promise?”

               “Now look who told me we’re getting too old for pinky promises.”

               “I just sai-said promise, you know. You’re the only grown-up who still likes pinky promises–Whatever, do you promise or not?

               “Okay, okay, I promise.”

               “Hmmm,” you yawn turning on your side of the bed, “It’s already laaate so feel free to sleep on my bed, Kook. But if you still want to go to your dorm and rest, you can leave me now. I’m already sleepyyy. Thank you again for the night.”

               “Okay, I’m finally free!” Jungkook chuckles but he doesn’t make a move to leave. Not yet. He turns to look at your sleeping figure, eyes drinking in the curves and dips of your body. Jungkook shifts an inch closer to you, his hand poised near to your back. He aches to caress the soft tuff of hair in front of him but Jungkook keeps his hand to himself. This is enough for now. He just wants to prolong his opportunity to be with you like this, to have you close to him without worrying about the possible consequences of his feelings. A soft smile graces Jungkook’s face as he sighs.

***

               Your eyes flutter open when you feel a sudden movement against your skin. The first thing that registers in your mind is that you’ve practically latched yourself onto Jungkook – lips pressed on his nape, arms looped around the dip of his waist, and feet slotted against his calves. What worries you though is your bestfriend is barely breathing. With the way his abdomen feels taut beneath your fingers and the soft expanse of his neck trembling under the space where you managed to press your nose against, you’re sure he’ll pass out anytime soon from holding his breath inside for too long.

                “You’re still a…awake, Kook?” You called out, withdrawing your arms back to your chest, legs back to your side of the bed. “A-am I being too clingy? S-sorry…”

               Jungkook suddenly moves away and then he’s now facing you. “N-no! You’re not clingy…I just,” Jungkook sighs, “I suddenly felt…weird.”

               “Wh-why?” You mutter softly, brows furrowed. You then realize he must have been unable to leave just like you promised because you’re hugging him too tight in your sleep. You immediately brought your gaze down, apologetic. “Is it because of me? I-I’m sorry…I probably hugged you in my sleep and didn’t let you leave and go back to your dorm, and I’m sorry–”

               Jungkook shakes his head and looks at you, wide awake now. Of course, everything about this night is because of you. He’s feeling all these things because of you–you who stupidly neglect your health for the sake of studying, you who whine at him yet successfully convince him to join you on your bed, and you who look so endearingly beautiful even when you’re sick and can barely keep your eyes open. Of course, it will always be you.

               “No, it’s not because of you,” Jungkook breathes out.

               But he won’t admit it to you.

               “It’s because of me.”

               Because he’s also at fault for dragging his chances tonight for too long and you are yet to know the reason why. Especially, not now–not this way.

                “I got sleepy, too, so I just decided to sleep, and then I suddenly woke up when I felt you, uh…hugging me like that,” Jungkook clears his throat. “I-it’s just–I felt a bit queasy about you hugging me from behind.”

               You blink at him. “You feel weird being the small spoon?”

               Jungkook almost chokes on his own spit. “W-what?” Are you talking about spooning in bed? Where are you going with this conversation?!

               “I mean,” you huff, “most guys I talk with complain about their partners’ hair smothering their faces when they are the big spoon. And, it’s not like I purposely hugged you just to find out whether you like being the small spoon or not, I just unconsciously hugged you FYI. But then again, why don’t you like being the small spoon? You used to like it when I am the big spoon in our sleepovers.”

                “…When the hell did that happen?”

               You narrowed your eyes at him and Jungkook laughs. Huffing, you turn your back to him, facing your side of the bed. “Nevermind, deny it all you want when we know your mother still has pictures of you snuggled in my embrace. Anyway, it’s good that I woke up on time. You should have woken me up when you felt me hug you. You need to stay far on the bed or else you’ll get sick too and–”

               A thick arm drapes across your waist and a firm chest presses behind your back. You feel Jungkook’s knees slot next behind yours, his warm toes sliding beneath your cold feet. Before you can let out a squeak in surprise, you hear the voice of your bestfriend, rumbling right from his chest.

               “I don’t want to be small spoon. I like to be the big spoon. So I can protect you at night.”

               Chuckling, you try to ignore the searing warmth that has suddenly taken over your chest. Your ears also feel incredibly hot now, because of the cold, because of Jungkook–you don’t know, but the only thing you’re sure of is you like this warmth. Probably way more than you should. Grinning, you said, “Protect me from what?”

               “From nightmares and bad people. Now be quiet and go to sleep, peanut.”

               “Okay, okay, but…you have to let go now, Kook. You’ll also get sick–”

               “Don’t wanna. I never get sick,” Jungkook murmurs against your hair, “I have the Jeon Effect.”

               “Hmm’kay, suit yourself. Don’t let me tell you ‘I told you so.’” A beat passes and then you mumble something against your pillows–something Jungkook would have easily dismissed if not for one word that added to the flame in his heart.

              “Goodnight…prince.”

                It only takes about two minutes to have you snoring softly again in his arms. Jungkook releases the breath he’s been holding and lets his stiff shoulders drop in resignation. He presses himself closer to you, his arm draped across your waist moves as he finds for your fingers and intertwines it with his.

               Pressing a tender kiss on the back of your head, Jungkook mutters, “Goodnight, my princess.”

 Epilogue

“Mom,” Jungkook whispers on the phone, “Do you really have pictures of Y/N spooning me from behind?”

“Well, yeah…I didn’t know you knew I have copies of those, I only showed them to Y/N. Why did you ask?”

“N-nothing. Just checking.”

“Oh…kay. By the way, I also have photos of you spooning Y/N from behind. It’s so cute seeing you have turned around and switched your places. Ahh, I miss the toddler version of you. So cute!”

“Kook, are you–achoo!–talking with someone?”

“Oh shucks, mom, I have to go now. Bye bye, love you.” Jungkook ends the call and turns on his side to face you. “It’s just my mom, checking up on me.” But before you can ask him how’s his mom, Jungkook lets out a massive sneeze. He could feel your stare on him as he grabs some tissues from your tissue box–only to end up with insufficient three tissues and an empty box.  He grins at you. “Can you hand me more tissues?”

Your lips pull into a straight line as you reach for the tissue box by your desk “Here. See, Jungkook? I told you to leave me yesterday, Now you’re sick, too.

“It’s okay. At least now I get you to focus all your attention on me.”

“W-what?”

“N-nothing.”

A/N pt.2 | So hi hons! Thank you for reading this installment!!! I’ve been down the couple of days because of so MUCH school work and…I feel like I’m not improving at all given with the sudden efflux of feedback to my recent writings :((( Hence, sorry if I kept you guys waiting for too long…Anyway, I hope I’ve progressed a little bit with this installment! Thank you for always supporting me and reading my stories! 

P.S. If you also want to leave me some love, I have my arms wide open in my ask box ~( ;  ^  ; )~

All Rights Reserved © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission.

[mydetheturk]

Multiples of 10 for the writing meme!!!

aaahhh so many. also i get really rambly in a couple of these >.>

10. Pick an author (or writing friend) to co-write a book with

uhhh oh uh um. i don’t??? know????

20. Any advice for young writers/advice you wish someone would have given you early on?

your writing is GOING to suck. it will. don’t worry about it. you’re going to get to a point where it feels like everything y ou write sucks ass and not in the fun way and you will look at it and say “howmst the FUCK am i supposed to fix this????” and it will suck and maybe you’ll finish it and maybe you won’t but its still something you’ve written. That’s what secondary and tertiary drafts are for. The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect.

i’m not a professional author by any means - i write fanfic! i’ve posted for the internet to see the “baby’s first fanfic” and over a decade later i think its terrible, what was i thinking! but I still wrote it so it has a fondness in my heart. I’ve got stuff from 5 years ago that i’m like “wow this is actually okay” and stuff from last week that i hate.

your writing skills grow and plateau and then you’ll hit a point where it starts to grow again.

i’m paraphrasing from a post about artistry but i’ve found you hit a point where you look at your work and you can’t see how to fix it because you have the skill to see where you’re bad but not the skill yet to see how to fix it. that's okay.

You’ll get there.

I believe in you.

30. Do you like to read books similar to your project while you’re drafting or do you stick to non-fiction/un-similar works?

Sometimes! It's usually unrelated though. If I’m reading anything nonfiction I do like to incorporate some of what I’ve learned. 

I spent too many goddamn years learning physics and general history and greco-roman history specifically to NOT use it

Hilariously, none of the books i’m reading right now have anything to do with piracy.

40. Do you look up to any of your writer buddies?

YES. @kawaiibooker is??? such a phenomenal writer???? Like??? SO GOOD, pulls on my heartstrings every time??? SO IS @whirlybirdwhat​ like oh my god???? they both make me wanna cry every time like FUCK you guys are so goddamn good

50. Do you share your rough drafts or do you wait until everything is all polished?

I love to share my rough drafts. I’ve actually several up on my Tumblr right now. Its mostly just scenes from various fics I’m working on, though I do post chapters of my wips. I crave that sweet sweet validation. I do have a couple things that won’t get seen ‘til they’re done tho which is fine

Questions from Here! 

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

[emeraldspiral]

Part 4 of my Thor rewatch thoughts:

The Jotenheim incident:

Heimdall says “You’re not dressed warmly enough”, but setting aside the fact that Loki and Thor can change their outfits into whatever they want, I always assumed they weren’t really affected by temperature since they don’t end up bundling up when they do go to Jotenheim, and can survive in the vacuum of space.

Did they pitch-shift Heimdall’s voice down? Why would they do that when Idris’s voice is already pretty deep?

Honestly, what even was up with Loki freezing in front of Heimdall? Was it part of his plan to make himself seem like Thor’s reluctant accomplice, or was he worried Heimdall had caught on to his plan?

Also, Heimdall doesn’t know for sure Loki can conceal himself from him until he goes to Jotenheim alone and Heimdall knows exactly where to look but doesn’t see him. But if Loki’s had this ability for a while, then surely Heimdall’s noticed that there have been times he tried to spot him and failed. So it’s not unreasonable for him to put two-and-two together and figure out that if Loki could sneak around behind his back, he might be able to conceal others from him as well. So I don’t think it’s fair to suggest, as I’ve seen others do, that Heimdall’s just always been prejudiced against Loki.

Really tho, the entire plot of this movie could’ve been averted if Heimdall had actually done his job. Imagine if the son of the South Korean president just waltzed up to the border and told the guards to open up the gate so he could punch Kim Jong Un in the face. Like, couldn’t they have had Loki do a Jedi Mind Trick or forge Odin’s signature on a fake permission slip or something to make Heimdall look like less of an irresponsible jackass?

The bifrost dome gives me deep body flashbacks to playing Riven in the 90s.

IMAGINE the conversation Heimdall would’ve had to have with Odin if his warning actually came to fruition. “Yeah, I knowingly transported your sons and their friends into enemy territory against your wishes and in violation of the tenuous truce you have with Laufey and they all died a horrible frozen death because I couldn’t bring them home without risking the security of Asgard. Hope Frigga’s baby-maker is still working because you’re gonna need a new heir ASAP to take care of Hela once your crusty-old ass kicks the bucket. You can handle delaying your Odinsleep and inevitable death another millennium-and-a-half until they’re old enough though, right?”

LMAO. One of the warriors says “We shouldn’t be here IMMEDIATELY upon landing. Like, doesn’t even wait for things to go sour. He got all the way down the bridge and through the trippy-space tunnel and then suddenly had second thoughts about 30 seconds too late.

“Your father is a murderer and a thief”. Wow, they were setting up that reveal since the beginning.

“You long for battle. You crave it. You're nothing but a boy trying to prove himself a man.” Okay, but Laufey’s not wrong tho.

Once again Thor, really not endearing yourself to me by telling Loki to shut up in just about the most disrespectful manner possible when he and Laufey are being completely reasonable.

I feel like I recall Laufey being pretty cold-blooded, and I guess he’d have to be to abandon Loki to die, but he’s honestly acting about as sensibly as Odin was before. He’s choosing to let Thor’s insolence slide to avoid war, rather than being eager to slay his enemy’s son even when it wouldn’t be the best thing for his people, as you’d expect a villain like him to do.

So here’s where it gets a little murky on what Loki was trying to accomplish. Like, he clearly set Thor up to go to Jotenheim and stir up trouble. But could he have predicted what happened after they arrived? Did he plan for Thor to start a fight and then chicken out and try to dissuade him when he realized they were outnumbered, or was he counting on being able to talk Thor down, thinking just the fact that they went to Jotenheim against Odin’s wishes would be enough to get him in trouble with their dad? At first I thought maybe the giant could’ve been an illusion Loki created to goad Thor into fighting. But no, that was a real giant, and Loki’s “damn” was a genuine reaction.

Also, Thor starting a goddamned war after Laufey very graciously offered to let him go scott-free because someone called him “Princess” is the epitome of not endearing me to this character. Neither does the line “At least make it a challenge for me!” Like, I thought it couldn’t get any worse than Superman beating the shit out of an ordinary human first thing after regaining his powers in Superman II, but Thor’s taking it to a whole other level. Like, he caves a guy’s face in with his hammer and says “That’s more like it!” Like, this isn’t a bar room brawl. People are dying and he’s loving it. He’s like a full-blown sadist. Also, Chris’s delivery of these lines sounds so much like “But I was going to Tosche station to pick up some power converters!”

Odin was absolutely right when he told Thor “You are unworthy of the loved ones you’ve betrayed”. Thor’s friends should hate his guts after this incident. He nearly got discount Westley from the Princess Bride and the rest of them killed. It makes no damn sense that they’re still all over his dick lamenting the unfairness of his punishment and trying to get him back when they have no evidence of Loki being up to anything.

Honestly, even if Loki felt bad about goading him into going to Jotenheim, Thor was still the one who chose to pick a fight instead of leaving peacefully. If I were Loki, I wouldn’t have even tried to speak up, cause Odin was saying nothing but the truth. I can’t tell if it’s a testament to Loki’s character that he loves his brother so much that even when he proves him entirely correct about not being ready for the throne (which was his whole plan all along) he still feels compelled to defend Thor, or if it’s a testament to how poor the writing is that they actually think Loki should feel bad and try to defend Thor, as if what Thor did wasn’t completely indefensible and he brought Odin’s reprimands upon himself. Loki may have provided the bait, but Thor didn’t have to take it.

I feel like 90% of the reason I, and everyone else, hate Odin is because of TDW, not this movie. Like, he seems level-headed enough with the wisdom he tries to bestow and he’s clearly distraught and on the verge of tears as he prepares to banish Thor. You can tell he’s disappointed and reluctant, but has to do his duty as king by giving Thor the punishment he absolutely deserves for his crimes. But in TDW he’s suddenly making a lot of bad decisions regarding how to deal with the Dark Elves and is absolutely stone cold toward Loki. He doesn’t show a hint of heartache over what his son has become or what he is duty-bound to do to him, and even seems to relish letting Loki know he’s essentially dead to him and he’s going to make the rest of his life as miserable as possible. I feel like this might’ve been done because they wanted Frigga to be the only one who hadn’t given up on Loki, so it’d be sadder when she died. But it had the side-effect of making it seem like Loki’s perception of being less-loved was a lot more valid than I think it was intended to be.

Thor has no way of knowing about the enchantment Odin put on the hammer because he wasn’t present for it, so how does he know later that the reason he can’t pick it up is because he isn’t “worthy” rather than just because he’s now mortal? Also, could anyone have picked up the hammer before, or was the enchantment always there and Odin just changed the conditions of what “worthy” was? Or could Thor have picked up the hammer before because he had his powers, but then couldn’t because he was stripped of them and reduced to mortal strength and only got the godly strength he need to be able to lift the hammer when the hammer deemed him worthy?

Also, how does making Thor mortal work exactly? Do Asgardians have some equivalent of the heart-shaped herb from Black Panther that gives them their superpowers or are they actually born that way and Odin can somehow suppress their super strength and other magical powers?

[thefudge]

Harry Potter question, do you or did you ever ship Hermione x Tom. Hermione x Snape. Hermione x Lucius. ? (I'm a Hermione fan lol)

aaaah this is a tough one, but super interesting (and i like her too!)

so here we go 

(after the cut cuz this got looooong)

in short, i dabbled in all of them to various degrees 

hermione/tom - in theory, i should like this pairing a lot, but i have a lot of issues with the way they are written together; aka they’re either portrayed as incredibly beautiful genius sex gods, or hermione is weak and constantly thwarted by tom’s sexy moves. there is some good fic out there that explores what it would actually be like if these two had to butt heads, but it’s hard for me to find this dynamic written the way i feel it, which is very solipsistic of me i know lol. it’s also a tough ship to get right, imo. because tom/voldemort has no reason to be that impressed with hermione. yes, she is brilliant and cunning, but i think tom is faaar more fascinated by emotions than intellect, ironically. he has a slew of talented wizards and witches around him, but he doesn’t care a fig about them. meanwhile, he’s constantly cursing harry’s resilience and humanity because he craves it. he’s more drawn to folks who thrive on unconditional love. it’s reaaaally hilarious when u think about it. but i don’t hate it? i just think it’s a tough ship to get right. i was into it in high school, but i shipped tom/ginny more because ginny has no business impressing him ahahahah

hermione/snape - once upon a long-ass time i was definitely taken with this ship because it used to be the It Ship in the olden days. if you were around circa 2003-2004 on livejournal and ffnet and schnoogle? HOO MAN, this was where you found the BEST angst and smut, hands down. i think we all had a snamione phase, it’s like part of growing up. the older i got, tho, i just…got bored with it, which is super sad! i think maybe it’s the fact that you can’t take this pairing into many directions. it’s mostly about hermione “healing” snape and giving him a second chance to repair the damage with lily. oh, and snape also empowers her intellectually. mmmkay. that’s nice. yawn. i mean! it’s great! but….yawn? listen, hermione is brilliant, but can we quit it with making everything about her intellect? 90% of snamione fics are about him helping her win the nobel prize or some shit like that, i swear to god, you got fics with titles like “Euclidean geometry and the arithmancy algorithm” or whatever, and it’s mostly these two nerding out and saving the world with their massive intellect. and that’s rly cool! i’m so glad there’s a space for that!  but….can we…take a break from all that studying? my 15 yo self felt like i should be doing homework when i read about how hermione was breaking her back trying to prove to snape how goddamn proficient she was, sweating and toiling over her cauldron. it’s almost like saying “if you don’t exhaust yourself intellectually, you’re not worthy of snape”. and that was a real bummer. also, in a lot of those fics hermione and snape were super shitty to the poor idiots who did not understand their super complicated invented algebra. a lot of needless ron bashing too. ANYWAY. this ship will always have a place in my heart but it’s too stagnant for me and doesn’t take me anywhere new. (i do remember a great old fic where hermione developed an eating disorder because she was exhausting herself intellectually, trying to be absolutely perfect, and snape actually helped her return to her goddamn senses and made her take a break, lol that was one of my faves tbh)

hermione/lucius - ha okay, ironically the ship i like the most in this line-up. back in the day, fanfic for this pairing was kiiiind of cringey since it involved a super angsty lucius who had to torture a slave!hermione and get her to accept voldemort as her lord and saviour… eh. it was messy and little of it was actually nuanced and good, sorry folks. but!! this ship has matured together with its dedicated writers and it has weirdly become one of the more nuanced hermione pairings out there. i think once the dust settled on this series, big ships like dramione and snamione dried up a little bit, while the smaller ones flourished. so i’ve seen rly cool takes on lucius malfoy post-series as an older guy who fucked up his life and his family and has to reckon with that, especially since he was never committed to the cause like bella, but his pride would never let him ask help from the order. lumione (?) is also a slightly more relaxed ship cuz u dont have lucius making her work on quadratic equations for fuck’s sake (lookin at u, severus) and he also wouldnt overwhelm her with his sexy evil plans (lookin at u, tom). like he wouldn’t expect sooo fucking much of her, you know?  though ofc there would be sniping and antagonism and blood prejudice etc so there’s a lot to unpack. but fanon-wise? yeah, this ship wins lol 

in general, the more i look back, the more i think that all of these ships just put too much fucking pressure on hermione to be this be-all and end-all of the harry potter universe, especially in terms of brains. as someone who was constantly insecure about intellectual prowess growing up, to have to read hundreds of fanfics where she was constantly humiliated and put to the test by these “brilliant” men felt really disheartening to me. i enjoyed some of it, but a lot of hermione fics left me exhausted. hermione had to do so much emotional and intellectual labor just to be allowed to touch a mediocre dick? SPARE ME lol. 

and i realized a lot of the girls/women writing those stories were “hermione’s” too, or obviously identified as such (me included). and they must have believed that they too could only be worthy of a dude’s attention if they became the next marie curie. it’s like “if i work hard enough, i’ll be the equal of the pretty, bubbly girl”. cuz this is the really whack, misogynist, self-defeatist narrative a lot of us were raised on. and it showed in the goddamn hermione fics where she can only squeeze a tiny bit of pleasure if she works herself to the bone.

fuck that. 

so yeah, this kind of makes me ambivalent about many of these big ol’ ships and whether, if we want them to move forward, we should change our optic about what hermione represents to a lot of us 

lol sorry this got away from me  

[convenientalias]

Guys I watched the Sense8 Finale

And I am super happy with it (how do they manage to finish things so neatly? Directors/writers are fuckign genius) and the rest of this post will be below the cut because so many spoilers

First of all, I thought for sure it would be cramming a hell of a lot into two and a half hours and wondered if they could really end BPO that fast, but in the end, of course they knew what really mattered:

-People eating pizzas and singing out car windows

-Getting all the family together, and not just the cluster! 

-A stunning and surreal orgy sequence

Because this is what we really look for from Sense8, am I right? (Incidentally I would have to say the one area where the finale kind of failed was in tying up Capheus’ threads but also it wasn’t going to happen--while most characters had more emotional or main-plot-related threads to finish off, Capheus had a political election on another continent. However, I think signs do point to it eventually working out, and at least we saw Jela and Zakia by the end.)

My biggest feelings are on the Rajan/Kala/Wolfgang angle and, as y’all may or may not know, I have been shipping this Ot3 from Day One. Why? Because Rajan isn’t just some boring fiance/husband figure but a real human being, his actor is brilliant and incredibly hot, and he clearly cares about Kala, as is evident in every single interaction between the two--but Kala won’t be satisfied without an element of adventure in her life, and for her that element has always been Wolfgang. And I also always wondered how Wolfgang and Rajan would get along. WELL.

I DIDNT ACTUALLY THINK THEY WOULD DO IT THO! I AM SO HAPPY!

Some good moments on this angle:

-Rajan entering the apartment to see first, Lito walking around upset and shirtless, then Sun chopping vegetables with a knife, and then, Capheus being the first one to recognize him (which was really cute actually). And then it’s like oh we gotta get out of here and Kala just shoves a ton of fuckign medical equipment in his arms and oh great, let’s go up on the roof bc apparently we’re running for our lives now. (wait is that a random white guy with a gun? wtf Kala?) 

(side note Amanita freaking out over Nomi going ninja was possibly the best moment of this entire finale but there were so many good moments that I digress.)

-Rajan being so understanding once things are explained to him. His first two reactions are, like, “Oh, this is why you were so confused around the time of our wedding, I totally get that now” and then “geez poor sap getting tortured, must help” and then his third reaction is “you’re my wife and I love you, I’m in this with you” and just, Rajan, SUCH A GOOD MAN.

-Then Rajan’s the one to actually get Wolfgang out of the club, which is just a good touch, especially since Wolfgang has mixed feelings about him but certainly recognizes and trusts him.

-”Not many people would have done what you did for me”. 

-”My love, you are a killer. (awkward pause.) CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW?” And then Wolfgang just looking at him so fondly and then in Kala’s body casually tossing the gun he’s holding away and showing him how a real gun works.

-Rajan and Wolfgang in the dramatic double Pieta with Kala’s apparently dead body, but then Kala ghost shows up and says, “Hey, y’all drama queens wanna actually, I dunno, save my life?” And she knows how to do it too because she’s a goddamn doctor.

-Finally, obviously, the threesome. It gets obscured by the fact that we’re watching about five or six different couples at once along with approximately seven hundred flashbacks (and I honestly thought it was very artfully done) but I love that the last line of dialogue we get is Rajan, clearly mind blown, saying how he didn’t know things like this could happen. IM HAPPY FOR YOU RAJAN

Seriously I never thought Rajan would get to be as happy and in sync with Kala as he is in this finale. It’s like, maybe most of the tension between them wasn’t inherent incompatibility but secrets and a lack of communication. Which is what I’ve always thought. IM HAPPY.

Hm what else.

Well, Amanita and Nomi are married and that’s obviously great. OH!. Jonas. YEah I had a lot of feelings about the trio of Jonas-Whispers-Will, which has always been an interesting dynamic as well. Not as much Whispers-Will tension in the finale as there was in Season Two, but that’s okay, Season Two satisfied me on this angle, and I loved seeing Daniela take Whispers down when he tried to escape. As for Jonas, I really hate heroic sacrifices of this type--he’s suffered enough and I wanted to see him live--but I’m glad he at least turned out to be a good guy. And this time, Will listened when he told Will he was on Will’s side. Also, Whispers is dead which is a good thing.

I can’t believe the final villain of this movie wasn’t really Whispers but LILA FUCKIGN FACCHINI. Honestly what a villainous babe, I love her and I love to hate her. Still waiting for my Kala/Lila femslash guys. Still waiting.

Detective Mun goes to Paris to maybe reunite with Sun and convince her to come back to Korea and instead gets brought into a spy conspiracy involving telepathy. So he’s clearly living his best life.

Overall I just loved this finale. Usually when I finish a show I’m craving fanfiction but this time I’m actually not. I think Sense8 did an incredible job of satisfying my cravings (even the eclectic OT3 ones!) in its actual canon content. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna seek the fic out but honestly well fukcing done.

[untruthsteller]

Oh Shit it's P5 headcanon time

[rafespeaks]

ANYWAY RANDOM HEADCANONS B/C NO ONE ELSE IS ONLINE TONIGHT

< > - means my gf @turbomun typed it

Hau

Imagine bby Hau when his dad first left. Imagine how confused & devastated he must've been. Imagine him sending letter after letter with his mom's help but only getting a few back. Imagine one day the return letters just... stop. Imagine Hau and his mom continuing to write letters until they start coming back as 'return to sender'. Imagine Hau not fully understanding why and continuing to write letters anyway, but just not sending them. Imagine him finally old enough to understand, but he keeps on writing them anyway, just because it's a little therapeutic and it's become a habit by now anyway. < Eventually he just stops sending them and keeps them in a box. He decides to give them to his dad if he ever sees him again. >

I've been thinking about how Hau may have met Nalani over the past few days, and what the circumstances might've been for Hala yelling in front of him, and just general bby Hau stuff. And I came up with some loose headcanons concerning that stuff. Hau used to go out and play with the Pichu around Iki Town all the time, and there was one that always seemed to love hanging around him no matter what, and it just... followed him home one day. Hala never liked Hau going to play with the Pichu because not every wild Pokemon is so friendly. He always lectured Hau about the dangers, especially of overaggressive Pokemon like you see charging at you in the grass and from bushes and shaking trees. Hau never really got it though - he was too young and all the Pokemon he'd met so far were friendly! This led to him getting too close to Hala's Tauros when it was worked up one day. It could've killed him and Hala was so scared for him and angry at his disobedience that he ended up shouting. This resulted in Hau being afraid of pissing off not only Hala but ANY kahuna. This is also why he says he couldn't ride a Tauros once Tauros is registered in your Ride Pager, though he's confident enough by the end of the game to learn to ride from Hala (as seen in the credits picture). (Typed on Feb. 11)

Some Hau headcanons no one asked for: He is gender fluid, tho he usually defaults to he/him. His assigned gender is male, though he would sometimes feel like he was a girl even from a very young age. He'd also get annoyed when people assumed he was just playing and pretending to be a girl. So when he first heard the terminology, he was ecstatic and was like "YES I'm THAT!!!" It was a similar story for him being gay. His first ever crush was on Ilima when he was six. Ofc, Ilima is a little old for him, so he eventually grew out of the crush and is simply Ilima's friend instead. Typically, Hau stays the same gender all day, but he has been known to switch. Especially after he's listened to a song he likes that has self-referencing pronouns. Bonus Hau/Gladion headcanon - if Gladion really DOES teach himself guitar, he'll change the pronouns in any love songs for Hau's current gender. Hau loves him to death for this... (Typed on Feb. 13)

Random headcanon: Typically, when Hau gets tired, he gets more active rather than less so. He turns all giddy and bouncy and it's really hard to get him to sit still unless he's in a bad mood or was sitting still already. So when he was younger and he started bouncing off the walls more than usual, that was his family's signal for 'okay, bedtime'. (Typed on Feb. 1)

Gladion

< ok but would Gladion play the acoustic guitar like a True Edgelord™ > OMG HAU WOULD M E L T < HAU STUMBLES UPON GLADION PLAYING GUITAR AND STOPS TO LISTEN > HE WOULD BE SO FLOORED LIKE "HOLY SHIT I'M SO IN OVER MY HEAD..................." < EVEN IF GLADION WAS A COMPLETE AMATEUR AND COULD ONLY PLAY WONDERWALL > (Typed on Jan. 29)

Red

Valentines Day shenanigans -  Red would probably put a lot of thought into every aspect of anything he got Green, INCLUDING the card. < He would make his own with construction paper and 2/3 a bottle of glitter Glitter is all over the apartment for the next 6 months >  RED U CHEESY BOI................  IMAGINE HIS POKEMON HELPING HIM. GLITTER ALL OVER THEIR CLAWS/PAWS/HANDS. ESPECIALLY HIS SHINY RAI < AND MEWTWO > Lol, Mewtwo would probably use his psychic powers and not even pick up the bottle. ... but then Raichu would smear him with glitter on purpose. GLITTER FIGHT!!!!! By the time it's over Red is just like "... this was a mistake..." < Green comes back like what the FUCK > (Typed on Feb. 12) + extra from another time  IMAGINE RED MAKING A SPECIAL CARD FOR GREEN EVERY YEAR................... BONUS: GREEN DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE HE'S THE ONLY ONE RED MAKES A HAND-MADE CARD FOR & THAT ALL THE OTHER KIDS GET THE STORE-BOUGHT STUFF.

< When Red was a baby, he hated feeling like he was alone at any time. He easily fell asleep in just about anyone's arms, but wouldn't sleep in his crib unless he was given a stuffed toy or a soft blanket to cuddle with. Because of this, his parents always referred to him as a "snuggle-bug" > (Typed on Feb. 21)

(Not technically Red but...) -  Btw!!! Plot bunny I forgot to tell you about!!! Imagine Mewtwo helping Raichu out with her newfound Psychic powers. B/c it's tough, he knows. Imagine her accidentally broadcasting her emotions tho it's always way more subtle than Mewtwo b/c she's not nearly as strong as him. Imagine she's so used to life as a Pikachu, she often forgets she even has psychic powers now. Sometimes she rolls onto her tail in the middle of the night and it starts floating and when she wakes up she's so startled she drops herself. IMAGINE PSYCHIC CHOCO CHU PROBLEMS < Mewtwo teaches ChocoChu about controlling her hovering and one day Red comes home to her nyooming around the house > Red just like "Holy heck you can do that now???" < Also Mew decides that ChocoChu is A Friend > ChocoChu is a Friend to Everyone (Typed on Feb. 27)

Lyra

I was looking for Japanese terms of endearment and... "Another common one is to use a suffix based upon some sort of adorable trait, like -rin or -pon, that as far as I can tell is based upon some part of their personality and/or physical appearance--for example, if a child was a particularly chubby baby, -pon might have stuck (used after a vowel sound, like 'Aki-pon', for example)"  LYRA-PON......... < LYRA-PON!! > Also apparently the Japanese don't really use terms of endearment...?? Just... nicknames. But still, that was a good find.

Silver

... Sudden Silver headcanon. He yells a lot ofc but he can't really take too much yelling himself. Especially if it's directed at him from someone he cares about. < ...what if when Silver gets yelled at by someone he cares about, even if they apologize later, he tends to crave some kind of physical affection from them so that he knows they still care about him Not that he'd show it but he wants to be loved > < If u fight with Silver, the best thing to do afterwards is give him a hug > Yep... He'll probably stiffen up, and then cry into ur shoulder for a little while, but it'll have him feeling better a lot faster.

Tbh I can't really see Silver conforming to labels. He was born a boy, that's what he's used to. Call him whatever you want, he doesn't fuckin' care, but he won't go out of his way to correct you. He's just like "whatever". < He alternately describes his gender as "whatever" "who knows" and "yes" > LMAO YES < "What is your gender?" "yes" > X P I just felt like Silver's so confident in who he is as a person, he wouldn't actively ask anyone to change the pronouns they use for him.  < "Are you a boy or a girl?" "I'm a Pokemon trainer" "yeah but what is your gender" "who knows" "but what's in your pants" "my PokeBalls" > (Typed on Feb. 13)

< Random and unexpectedly cute headcanon/idea thing?? Not something we'd ever RP but just something that popped into my head: Giovanni has to teach Silver how to shave >  AHAHAHAHA Y E S Silver still hates cutting ANY of his hair but he hates having facial hair even MORE < Especially because pubescent facial hair is so UGLY AND GROSS LOOKING, finally one day he can't take it anymore and goes "Dad can I borrow your razor" And Giovanni is like "?? you're gonna shave?? well I have an extra razor but not so fast, I'm teaching you how to use it first" > Silver's just "UGH FINE JUST PLZ MAKE IT QUICK - THIS STUFF IS PISSING ME OFF" < You have just saved yourself many scratches down the line, believe me" So Giovanni is teaching him and at one point just comments, "you're lucky you have a safety razor. I had to learn using a straight razor which looks like you're trying to commit suicide every morning" > And Silver's just like "Yeah whatever, as long as I get this shit off, I don't really care what does it." < Father and son bond over complaining about goddamn fucking facial hair and Silver must have inherited his dislike from Gio because Gio is the most clean shaven guy EVER, he shaves every day no matter what "Shaving is what separates us from the cavemen son" > L M A O NO WAIT IMAGINE SILVER TEACHING ETHAN HOW TO SHAVE NOT LONG AFTER THAT < oh my GOD Ethan would grow a Baby's First Mustache and not even notice until Silver and Lyra go "what the fuck is on your face" > H A A A A A < Silver "Ethan I'm gonna show you how to shave. My dad says that this is what separates us from the cavemen." "...but what if I want to be a caveman" > "THEN YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO ANY POSSIBILITY OF KISSING ME" < "JUST KIDDING LETS LEARN TO SHAVE" > (Typed on Feb. 26)

... Imagine Silver getting into book repair... Like he finds a really battered book at a thrift store or in a library or smth and he just can't leave it there. So he takes it home and works on it until it looks goddamn beautiful. And if it's a library book he takes it back (even if he was told he could keep it) and the librarian is??? Just??? "How the hell did you do that wtf" < THATS APPROPRIATE I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT BOOK REPAIR > and I literally made a book 4 u :P (Typed on Mar. 7)

Giovanni

< Giovanni has a habit of saying "close the light" instead of "turn off the light." This has to do with the expression for turning off the light in the Italian language. >  ... Silver would SO tease him about it... All the time... < "hey dad did you remember to close the TV" "hey dad have you closed your computer yet" "hey dad you left the light open" "HEY DA > (Typed on Feb. 21)

My mom just showed me a picture of a bumper sticker on facebook that said "Proud parent of a great kid that is sometimes an asshole and that's ok". I immediately thought of Giovanni & Silver. < I want them to have one of those knitted cruets that says "God Bless This Asshole Family" > (Typed on Feb. 8)

< ok random thought but I've always had the headcanon that Giovanni drinks -- only in moderation, sometimes he'll have a glass of wine at night or sometimes a shot of something stronger if he's feeling anxious. but he usually doesn't drink in front of Silver and one day Silver walks in the kitchen and sees Giovanni pouring a drink and is immediately horrified "DAD ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC DO YOU NEED AN INTERVENTION" >

Lusamine

... What do u think of Lusamine having Lillie take flute lessons < She probably had a strict regimen of Approved Extracirricular Activities for her kids > Yup. Lots of classy instrument lessons probably. No art tho - too messy and you can't really measure art by 'perfection'. Reading fiction was highly discouraged. Lusamine would throw out books she didn't approve of. 'Play time' was allowed with her in-game team of Pokemon, though it was more like sitting quietly while they pet the Pokés. They probs know a decent amount about sciencey shit tho they weren't supposed to go near the labs. Perfect handwriting was stressed and Lillie can and does write in picturesque cursive (it is EXTREMELY rare for her to write in print). You could ask her to do greeting cards. Toys in general were more or less frowned upon, but she allowed them to have some as long as they put them EXACTLY where they go when they're done playing. If not, the toy is thrown away. Gladion has had more toys thrown away than Lillie. No videogames. Ever. No TV either. ... Damn I feel bad just writing this... < I mean, all that would apply only AFTER Mohn fucked off to PokePelago, and we don't know how old they were when that happened. > Y E P It would probably be at least... oh, say... five years? So Lillie would've been about six and Gladion eight. Yeah, I think that fits. Lillie can remember a time her mother was kind, before their father disappeared, so it couldn't have been TOO long ago. But it would've had to have been long enough for Lusamine to gather all the resources she would've needed to execute her plan.

Guzma

I gotta ask tho - what do you think Guzma and Hala's relationship was like when he was young? Because the text after you battle him seems to say they pretty much acted as master/apprentice for a while. ... I kinda wonder if Guzma respected him more as a father figure than his own dad... < ok but Hala has that temper right?? WHAT IF ONE DAY GUZMA DID SOMETHING STUPID AND HALA STARTED YELLING AT HIM AND GUZMA JUST CRINGES AND BACKS AWAY AND SUDDENLY HALA MAKES THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THAT BEHAVIOR AND THE FACT THAT GUZMA ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAVE CUTS AND BRUISES AND WONT SAY WHERE THEY CAME FROM >  OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO < AND HE IMMEDIATELY CALMS DOWN AND COMFORTS GUZMA AND ASSURES HIM THAT HE WOULD NEVER HIT HIM > I LOVE Y E S

< - Guzma and Luna commiserating bc Lillie left and Luna's upset and Guzma is like "ya I feel you there, my boyfriend left me and took up with some broad. I thought we had something special y'know?" > YYYYYEEEEESSSSSS < - Guzma and Kukui were dating after Guzma adopted his loud, brash, thuggish personality, so Guzma was never shy during their relationship...until Kukui broke up with him. Now he's a complete wreck in romantic situations. > S H I T......... POOR BOI......... < - Guzma legit thought that he and Kukui would be together for life, he never anticipated that they'd break up - and Kukui is the hardest person for Guzma to forgive after Team Skull disbands And yeah, it's gotta hurt to see your old flame get MARRIED > Just imagine how shitty Guzma would've felt directly after his first battle with Luna... Not only is Kukui COMPLETELY unfazed by seeing him again, but the man sends a KID who JUST MOVED HERE to beat down HIS EX BOYFRIEND......... < Like JESUS FUCK HE CAN'T EVEN BOTHER TO BATTLE ME HE THINKS THAT LITTLE OF ME?? I think Kukui is just kinda...disappointed that Guzma went down this path? Like he knew he could've been better > HE DOESN'T EVEN RESPECT MY STRENGTH ENOUGH TO FIGHT ME AS A FELLOW ADULT - HE HAS A KID DO IT AND SHE S T I L L BEAT MY ASS < KUKUI WAS PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE GUZMA SOME HURT GIVEN THE FACT THAT HE COULD WIPE THE FUCKING FLOOR WITH GUZMA > Yeah... Guzma would be too hurt by everything that's happened between them to care that he's 'disappointed'

IMAGINE KUKUI AND SYCAMORE TALKING ABOUT RESEARCH OR SOME SHIT THO AND MAYBE SYCAMORE COMES TO ALOLA FOR SOME REASON AND HE AND GUZMA MEET AND GUZMA'S JUST LIKE "HOLY SHIT AND HERE I THOUGHT KUKUI WAS THE ONLY HOT YOUNG PROFESSOR AROUND" < GUZMA HAS A TYPE Kukui: Guzma, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Professor Sycamore! *close up of Guzma staring while "At Last, My Love" plays in the background* >

Y'know, I was thinking about how Guzma and Plumeria would've met the other day. I 100% bet you it would've been after Guz ran away. He's passing through Ula'ula Island with his Pokemon, trying to find a place to crash for the night. He comes to that trailer park area and ends up bumping into Plumeria. Literally. "Hey, watch it, asshole!" "You watch it, bitch - I'm walkin' here!" "The fuck you just call me?!" "You heard me!" "You wanna go?!" "Bring it on, miss priss!" Long story short, they get into a fist fight. Plumes throws the first punch because Guz has been taught not to hit girls by his mom but he's not opposed to self defense. And by the end they're just... completely winded and beat all to hell... And they just... "... You fight good." "Thanks. You too." "Hey. You wanna swing by my house and grab a soda or something?" "... Got any Tapu Cocoa?" And then next thing you know it's just... "Yo, Grams! This is my new friend, Guzma!"  < Guzma: "hey Plumeria wanna DISMANTLE THE OPPRESSIVE ESTABLISHMENT BY RAPPING AGRESSIVELY AT BUS SIGNS" Plumeria: "sure lemme just grab some popcorn" >

< In game: Faba is a challenger to the championship In RP: Faba is in FUCKING JAIL WHERE HE BELONGS Also Guzma will probably have to do community service at the very least > Yeah I agree... Wouldn't be surprised if he'd be under house arrest, too, which would explain his return to his childhood home. (Imagine him hiding the ankle bracelet from his mother.........) < Actually, I think there's a thing where you're allowed out in the community if you have someone supervising you at all times? Imagine Hala stepping up to be the Guzma Supervisor > I LOVE................... < He probably wouldn't be sentenced as harshly if he could prove that he was manipulated by Lusamine, but still...vandalism and petty theft and all that > Ye. Not to mention, y'know, takING OVER A WHOLE FUCKING TOWN... (How could he have even done that anyway?? Was it already partially deserted and the rumors are just vastly exaggerated, or...???) < I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say: Aether did it They did it to convince Guzma that allying with them could benefit both parties, plus it would give Team Skull a stronghold Which would be good for Aether when they needed Team Skull to do dirty work > Ye, they probably just straight-up bought the whole damn place. < And then sent their own members disguised as Skull grunts to drive everyone out and kick up the rumors. Which would make people avoid the town. > L M A O Hold on wait wait. I just got the greatest mental image. Imagine Guzma leading them RIDING HIS FUCKING GOLISOPOD LIKE A GODDAMN STEED THAT'D MAKE A FUCKING IMPRESSION!! X D < FICKJNG >

Currently RPing this -  Btw... I thought of something of my own... Guzma kinda got off easy with that trip to Ultra Space, right? Well, what if he DIDN'T...? I was thinking about how he was just hangin' out there and how he'd been briefly possessed by the Nihilego... And what if he really wasn't okay mentally - what if he was dissociating? And it becomes, like, a huge problem for him, and that's a big reason that he gave up on Team Skull and went home. B/c if the grunts are mainly teenage kids with nowhere else even remotely healthier to go, why the hell would Guzma give up on them unless he had to? Think about it. His Pokemon = Therapy Bugs... < GOOD!! THERAPY BUGS!!! > ONE OF THE ONLY WAYS HE CAN FEEL BETTER IS BY MAINTAINING CONTACT WITH ONE OF HIS BUG BUDDIES, ESPECIALLY GOLISOPOD......... < Wouldn't he have like...a minor version of what Lusamine has, almost?? His system wouldn't be swamped with neurotoxins but they still would have effected him. And I was reading about someone with dissociation issues and like...sometimes you can't remember what you're supposed to do?? Even if it's something super simple. The person I read about was like...she went to the bank, was gonna write two checks, but then after the first one she literally could not remember what she was supposed to do with the second one. > Yeah, I think he would've. Ofc, that would mean that the doctors that sent him home Fucked Up™ And huh... I'll have to keep that in mind... >:3 < Tru, but the doctors had never encountered something like that before. As someone who's been hospitalized, if you have no symptoms, they won't do extensive tests. And even if he had symptoms he would have been just like I Wanna Get The Fuck Out Of Here™ > Ye, tru. Guz was goin' home and AIN'T NO ONE GONNA STOP 'IM. Straight back to the mansion, plop down with his buggies and some room-temp Tapu Cocoa (b/c who can be assed to warm it up when you just came back from an alternate dimension where you've been dissociating & are now dead tired???), and then straight to sleep b/c fuck the world it can W A I T. < And Guzma doesn't strike me as the type to seek help if he has psychological warning signs. > N O P E... It would take a friend AND his bugs pestering him about it non-stop to get him to go see someone. Tho most of his buggies are nonverbal and he doesn't have a communicator anyway, so it's mostly flat looks and annoyed clicking sounds. < Lmao Luna translating tho "Golisopod thinks you're being a stubborn asshole" > "weLL FUCK YOU TOO, MAN!" >:CCC Imagine after Guzma challenges Luna and says he'll be waiting at the beach, he gets there and... just... "... The fuck was I doing...??" (Also "You tell my mom those 'rumors' are true, I'll kiCK YOUR ASS, KID") < Luna shows up "okay what do you want" ".....I don't....... remember.........." >  That's the first tip-off to anyone other than Plumeria & his parents that something's W R O N G < And at first she thinks he's joking cause "how do you not REMEMBER, you clearly had a good idea of what you wanted five minutes ago" > He just gets super annoyed and stressed out of nowhere "I don't fucKING K N O W, OKAY?!?! I JUST DON'T REMEMBER!!!" < And she just kinda jumps back like "ok Arceus fuck then I'm leaving" > And he just... doesn't know what to do b/c this has been happening a lot and it's NOT STOPPING.........