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toxicanonymity · 1 year

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Apple Blossom. Left in Lincoln, pt. 4

7.5k / dads best friend!Joel x virgin!Reader

story master list / joel miller master list

His cheeks turned a little pink and his eyes lit up. He handed you the rag. "What?" you asked. “Nothin',” he said softly and shook his head. “You sure are pretty, darlin’. That’s all.” He dried his hands then gave your butt a squeeze. The moment of domesticity almost made you forget the town was rotting away beneath your feet.

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni, slow-burn horror w/ potentially disturbing implicit content, big girthy age gap (20s/50s), plot, angst, toxic/dark fluff, gaslighting, manipulation, pressure, grooming, grinding, fingering, oral M receiving, pet names and praise. Very TOXIC, dark Joel. Impaired editing.

You fell asleep in Joel’s arms and woke up alone in your bed. The apple blossom was gone from your night stand. You showered and got dressed. You couldn’t find your baseball cap and realized the last time you wore it was in Joel’s orchard. When you came downstairs, Bill and Frank's bedroom door was open. Before you could investigate, you heard screeching outside, then cursing. You ran to the door. Joel was waving his arms and a crow was flying away from him. He had a screwdriver in one hand. He stood up and smoothed his shirt and a feather floated away from him. He was wearing Frank's clothes with his hair freshly slicked back from a shower.

You went outside and looked down at the open vent. You asked, “How’d you get it to come out?”

Joel shrugged with his arms hanging heavy at his sides. "Nowhere else to go. Gotta be patient sometimes.” He bent one knee and put the hand with the screwdriver on his hip, looking up at the roof of the house. He squinted at the chimney. “I reckon we left the fireplace vent open the other night.”

You approached Joel and he extended his free hand for a hug. He stroked your head and looked at you lovingly. You were still taking that in - the fact that Joel told you he loved you. He gave you a kiss on the head and inhaled your scent. Then he went to screw the vent back into the side of the house, and your eyes followed his ass. That was one thing about Joel always having his shirt tucked in - You were very aware of his ass. He was so muscular, almost statuesque to you. His proportions reminded you of classic art.

Joel glanced back as he bent over and your cheeks burned as you looked away from his body.

“Can we plant the strawberries today?” You asked.

“Not the season, darlin’. Won’t survive.”

“Ours are still alive," you said.

“Really?” he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, they just never fruited."

“Show me.” Joel finished screwing the vent back into place then stood up and brushed off his knees.

You led him to the failed strawberry patch and showed him the plants.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Joel said and squatted down to finger the leaves. "You wanna bring’em, guess we can try it."

You were excited to surprise Frank and Bill with fresh strawberries. Once they fruited, maybe you could transplant them somewhere at home too.

"Grab a spade and bucket outta the shed. Some of that cloth, too."

You returned with the requested supplies and Joel said, "Alright, I’ll work on this and you can pick some veggies to take with us if ya want."

“We’re not coming back today?”

“Not ‘til we figure out what’s goin’ on, darlin’.” He put his hands on his knees and stood back up with a groan. “Anything else you wanna plant from here? Arugula?”

You were still processing the idea of leaving home for multiple days. “Sure. Wait, what if we get the computers back up to check the cameras?” you asked. “Then we can see if it’s safe.”

He wiped his brow with the back of the flannel sleeve. “Just looked at ‘em. All static. Lines must've been cut. Been down at least a few days."

"What??" A pit formed in your stomach. This whole time, you should’ve been even more scared than you were. Joel sensed your fear. He stepped forward and put his arm around you. He cradled your head against him. He smelled a little like Frank.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m not leavin’ you again," he reassured you. The low vibration of his voice in his chest was an extra layer to the hug.

You tried to shake off the dark mood that fell over you. "Can we make apple juice?” you asked.

“Sure we can, peaches.”

Joel uprooted some strawberry and arugula while you picked vegetables then brought them inside. You got out the empty apple juice jar to take with you and took the cider jar out of the fridge, too.

Joel walked in and froze. “You’re not drinkin’ that, are ya?”

“No,” you said, but you didn’t want to offend him since he brewed it. “Not right now.”

“But you did?” He stepped forward and looked so serious. Your face went cold.

“Well, no-”

"You shouldn’t be drinkin’ without me, darlin’. It’s not safe.” There was an air of judgment in his voice. You were embarrassed, but shouldn't have been. You were old enough to drink and your house was full of wine. You could have a drink alone if you wanted to. Joel extended his hand and looked at you sternly. “Gimme that.” You felt defensive as if you had done something wrong. Even knowing you hadn't. You suddenly realized you had no idea where his bottle of whiskey was that he left there days ago. He might have thought you drank it, too. You were mortified.

“I was just gonna pour it out so we could use the jar,” you explained as he opened the cider. Joel's face softened and he poured it out in the sink.

“Got plenty of jars at home, baby. Good idea though." He rinsed the jar then patted the back of your head tenderly. It wasn't enough to soothe the feeling of being scolded, but the feeling would fade. You had bigger things to worry about anyway. He just wanted to keep you safe.

On the walk to Joel’s house, you told him all about the night before. How Abe didn’t come by, then you heard Abe's truck, but didn’t see him. You told him about the songs playing on the radio station, which gave you chills to even think about.

Joel heard the distress in your voice and stopped dead in his tracks, disturbed. “Sorry I wasn’t there, darlin’. Never shoulda left ya." He took a deep, ragged breath in. He cupped your cheek. “Guess I didn’t wanna be a bother if ya didn't want me stickin' around.”

You felt a wave of guilt for sending him home each night. You imagined him walking alone in the dark worrying about you, thinking he was bothering you.

"It's okay, Joel," you reassured him. "I should've asked you to stay."

"It's not okay, baby.” He shook his head at himself, then looked at you with grave concern. “What if somethin' happened?"

"Well, I guess it didn’t. I'm okay," you said.

He sighed and cradled the back of your head.

"But I'm worried about Abe," you added.

Joel dropped his hand, and looked off into the distance, jaw muscle flexing.

"What if he's in trouble?" you asked.

Joel took a deep breath and looked in the direction of Abe’s property. "Tell ya what, darlin'. I'll go check on him today, how’s that sound?”

The distress melted away from your face. “Thank you,” you gushed and wrapped him in a hug. He kissed the top of your head.

A bird cried and both of you turned toward the sound. It was a crow. It followed you the rest of the way to Joel's house, squawking obnoxiously.

It was your first time being in Joel’s house. It was about as neat and clean as you expected for the most part. It smelled woodsy and nutty, like pine and almonds, and faintly of apples. He led you upstairs to a spare bedroom and left you there to get settled in. He said to let him know if you needed anything.

You walked around the room and picked things up. There was a dresser, a vanity, and a mirror. On top of the vanity was a jewelry box and a hairbrush. A stationary set. There was a stool at the vanity and a box fan on the floor.

Everything was so perfect and comfortable. It was what you imagined a hotel might be like. Clean and cozy. You sat down on the neatly made bed and took your shoes off. Joel came back a few minutes later and stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He looked around the room then nervously put his hands in his pockets. He asked, "What do you think?"

"It's amazing."

He looked relieved. He came over to sit next to you on the bed. "Good," he said. He smiled and his eyes scanned your body. He caressed your neck and planted a kiss on your cheek.

"Can we pick apples to make the juice today?"

"Not today, darlin'. Not 'til we're sure it's safe." He raised your hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Got some apples in the kitchen, though."

Joel made lunch and told you about the different improvements he made to the house and orchard in the past few years. You asked for a tour and he said you could have one after he knew the community was secure. He got up and took the dishes to the sink. He turned on the water to wash them and you got up and volunteered to do them instead. It seemed only fair since he made lunch. You stood next to him at the sink and reached for the rag. His cheeks turned a little pink and his eyes lit up. He hesitantly handed you the rag with a slight smile.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothin',” he said softly and shook his head, looking at the floor. He looked back up at you and sucked his bottom lip. “You sure are pretty, darlin’. That’s all.” He dried his hands on a clean towel, then gave your butt a little squeeze. You smiled and giggled silently. The moment of domesticity made you forget the town was rotting away beneath your feet.

Joel moved to stand close behind you and put his hands on your hips. He spoke softly into the crown of your head. “I'll go take a look around the neighborhood and check on Abe.”

You turned your head and nodded, “thank you, Joel.”

His voice got low and serious, but remained gentle. “Stay here. Don't go outside.”

You nodded again.

“You don't answer the door for anyone but me. Real important, okay?"

You put down the dish in your hand and turned around to face him fully. "Okay."

"Even if you think you know 'em. Don't know who could be infected." He swallowed regretfully.

You nodded in agreement, "Okay."

His hands on either side of your hips casually caged you against the sink. He gently pressed his hips, then his lips into yours.

“Back before sundown,” he muttered.

He put on a jacket, went down to the cellar, and returned with two firearms. He handed you a pistol, put on his jacket, and kissed you goodbye. He winked as he left, then locked the door behind him from the outside.

While Joel was out, you got curious and bored. You walked around the house. The first door you tried to open was locked. The second one led down to the cellar. You took a few steps down and tried to reach the light string that hung from the ceiling. it swung away. After another step down, the door behind you began to close. You panicked and lunged up the stairs to keep it open. That was stupid. You could have gotten locked in. You scurried up the stairs back into the living room. Once you caught your breath, you shut the door behind you and didn't go back.

Another door was a closet. Jackets, hats, boots. You saw an old Red Sox hat and your heart skipped a beat. Your first thought was Jesse. Your heart pounded in your chest and you weren’t sure why. It was probably yours. Joel must have scooped it up when you left it in the orchard. It could have faded from the elements. You had the strongest urge to touch and smell the hat, but you didn’t dare disturb it. Joel seemed like the type to know exactly how things were. You didn't want him to know you were snooping.

You didn’t try any more doors after that. You went back to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and there were two crates of jars, one of them locked. You looked around the opposite counter from where you had been doing the dishes. A basket of apples, a jar of apple seeds. A fresh branch in a vase of water with a budding blossom. You held up the vase and smelled the bud.

You were startled from the moment by a faint scraping and clinking sound outside. You fumbled the vase and almost dropped it but caught it. Your pulse sped up and your eyes darted to the window. You put the vase down and walked to the kitchen door which looked out into the backyard and orchard. You put your hand on the knob, then changed your mind, Joel’s cautionary words fresh in your ears. You stood at the window and looked. You didn’t see anything. You heard it again. It sounded like it was coming from the back of the orchard, which you couldn’t see. All you saw was dirt, grass, a fire pit, neat rows of tree after tree, dead leaves tumbling across the ground with the wind. Maybe it was the wind.

When you heard it again, you were unsettled enough to step away from the window. You went back up to the bedroom, figuring it was the safest place. You covered yourself in the quilt and hugged one of several pillows, waiting for Joel's return, hiding, praying no one was around. Hoping no one could possibly know you were there. Grateful you weren't home alone at a time like this. You kept the bedroom door open so you'd be able to see trouble if it came.

You dozed off and awoke when the back door to the kitchen unlocked downstairs. Your heart raced and it took a moment to remember where you were. It was almost dusk outside. You quietly slid out from under the quilt and prepared to cautiously venture downstairs, assuming it was Joel who just came in the house. A door closed downstairs, then the water heater turned on. You pulled the quilt back over you and turned off the light, waiting in the dark. After about ten minutes of lying there slowing your heart rate, the water turned off. A few minutes later, a door opened downstairs again. You wished you could fast forward to the next time you'd be in Joel's arms.

You felt a presence. "Joel?" It came out far quieter than you intended, but you were too afraid to repeat it louder. The stairs quietly creaked with padded footsteps. The creaking got closer and closer, then stopped. You sat frozen, looking at a looming shadow in the hall, trying to make sense of it as Joel’s silhouette. The shape looked jagged, angry, nothing like him.

“Peaches?” his voice made you jump; it was much closer than you thought. Your hand came to your chest as he stepped into view and asked, “You okay? Thought you might be nappin', didn't wanna wake ya up.'”

"I'm okay," you said and took a deep breath. "What's going on?"

Joel approached the bed and sat down with his hand on your knee. He was freshly showered and dressed in his own clothes again.

"I think Abe left, darlin'."

"Left?? Why??"

"I dunno, sugar. It was like he just packed up."

You were stunned. Abe couldn't possibly have packed up and left. This didn't explain anything at all. You'd have to see it to believe it.

"No. He wouldn't just leave," you said and got de ja vu. You were quiet. Nothing felt right. You spent the whole afternoon scared and alone, and now this?

"Sorry, peaches. Didn't know you were close."

"We weren't. I just - I'm surprised. He didn't say anything this week, did he?"

"Sure didn't."

"Just like Jesse,” you whispered.

Joel inhaled through his nose as though calming himself.

“I don't understand it," you said.

Joel was quiet for a moment. "People leave, darlin'. But I promise you I won't. Not ever."

You mustered half a grateful smile and indulged him. “Promise?”

"Never.” He looked gravely serious. “Not unless I take you with me,” he said softer.

“Thanks,” you said.

He shook his head. “I mean it, peaches. Nothin' in this world could take me away from you." He stroked your thigh and leaned in for a much-needed kiss.

Then he put his arm around you, rubbed your shoulder, and leaned his temple against yours. You sat side by side on the bed in silence for a minute, then Joel said, “been a rough day or two, huh?"

You nodded pensively.

"I know what we need."

"What?"

"How 'bout a special dinner?” he lifted your chin with his finger and your eyes met his affectionately. "There she is."

"Okay."

"Put on somethin' nice, I'll get cookin'."

“Oh, I didn’t bring much,” you said, embarrassed.

“Let's check the closet,” he said with a wink. "See what got left behind."

He kissed you on the head and stood up. It was a shallow closet that rolled open from two doors to expose a single rack of clothes. He rolled open the left door and there were five or six dresses. They didn't look like anything Ellie or Tess would wear and you didn't know who else could have left them behind. Whoever lived there before, you supposed.

Joel pulled out two coathangers. A floral wrap dress and a low cut burgundy sweater dress. "See what ya like," he said softly with a sparkle in his eye. "Take your time. I'll get cookin'." He winked and put the hangers back in the closet before leaving you to the task.

You stayed seated on the bed and stared into space for a while, thinking about Abe. Then you got up and put on the burgundy dress. It was a perfect fit. You stood in front of the vanity as the smell of fried rabbit wafted upstairs. You primped yourself and touched your neck, looking yourself in the eyes. You wanted to be happy, but your eyes were sad. You opened a dresser drawer looking for socks. Sure enough, there was a small drawer full of socks and stockings. Another drawer full of underwear, and even the same type of fabric washable pads you had to use for your period. You dreaded your period coming in a few days. That probably wasn't helping your mood.

Joel served a candlelit dinner at a card table in his living room. He said it was safer away from the windows at night. He wanted to give it another day or two to make sure the community was safe. He was walking to the table with a bottle of wine and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you in the dress. He put down the bottle and said. "My lands, peaches." He wet his lips. "C'mere, gorgeous." He rubbed your forearms with his thumbs and looked you up and down. "You're so goddamn beautiful," he whispered.

"You look nice, too," you said. He chuckled. He wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary but he always looked nice. He took your head in both hands and kissed you softly. Then he looked at you again, wrapped his arms around you, and kissed you harder with an "Mmm," into your mouth.

He pulled out your chair for you at the table. He poured your wine, served you salad with no cucumbers, rabbit, eggplant, and applesauce. The salad dressing was incredible. He made it himself. "secret's in the basil" he said proudly. "Gotta mash it up real good, let the flavor out. If ya like it, we got more to plant out back. Rosemary, too. Make us a little herb garden.” You smiled. The applesauce was amazing, too.

He got up and retrieved a stone bowl from the counter. "Fresh cinnamon sticks. I crush’em up dry first. Then add just a little apple to the cinnamon, mash it up so it’s all wet, then add that to the rest at the end." He tasted the cinnamon mixture with his finger. “Kinda spicy.” He dipped his pinky for more and held it up to your mouth. "Go on," he said. You held eye contact with him as your tongue met his pinky. The cinnamon was strong. Delicious. He took a deep breath as you sucked his digit clean. "Good girl," he whispered, watching you in a trance. He put the bowl back on the counter. “Use it for cobbler, too. We can make some if ya want.” You never knew Joel was such a good chef.

You ate quietly. You wanted to let Joel’s nice dinner take your mind off things, but it didn't. You didn't want to grill him about Abe's house or say anything negative at all since he put so much effort into the meal. He put so much effort into making you feel good in general. So you tried to pretend you were okay, but he sensed your mood.

After cleaning up from dinner, the two of you sat down on his sofa in the living room. He brought whiskey and a bag of pills and put them on the coffee table with two glasses. “Need a good night’s sleep,” he muttered as he sat down and poured a glass. “How ‘bout you?”

You didn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong, peaches?”

You were quiet, but he didn’t let you off the hook. He looked at you, expecting an answer. Finally, you blurted out, “I’m lonely.”

Joel looked confused. “We’re together now, baby."

The tears welled up over your eyes. “Not right this second. I mean in general.”

Joel swallowed, then nodded. “Must get lonely on your own. Why don’t you stay here with me?” He took a sip, put down his drink, and scooted closer. He rubbed your back.

You ignored his offer, frustrated that he didn't get it or didn’t care. “Everyone's gone,” you said and started to cry. “Everyone left.”

Joel’s face darkened and his jaw clenched. His body tensed and he stopped rubbing your back. He sank back into the sofa and clasped his hands in his lap. You turned around to face him, expecting more comfort, but he didn’t look at you or open his arms.

“Not sure what to say to that, peaches," he said flatly. He took another sip of his drink. "You mean the world to me, and it sounds like I’m nobody to you.”

“Of course not,” you said. Your heart dropped at your foolishness. Here was the one person you had left. The best person who could possibly be left. Someone who would take care of you no matter what it took. Someone who cared more about you than anything or anyone else. And instead of being grateful, you acted like he was nothing.

Joel nodded slowly, looking down with a scowl. He swallowed.

You said, "I just miss them, that's all."

His eyes intensified and he took a deep, calming breath.

“Bill and Frank, I mean,” you clarified, desperate not to make it worse.

"I know ya do," he said in a near whisper, still looking down.

You continued, your tears slowing but not stopping. "It doesn't feel right here with everyone gone."

“Doesn’t feel right here,” he repeated. He raised his eyebrows and bit his tongue, sticking it into his cheek.

You looked away, sensing that you hurt him but unsure what to do. You sat in silence for what felt like several minutes, both of you looking straight ahead. Your back felt so cold without him comforting you.

When you looked back at Joel, his eyes were glistening. “You're enough for me, peaches.” His voice cracked. “You’re all I need in the world.” He dabbed his eye and your heart broke. "Nothin' feels more right than bein' with you. I love you that much.”

No one ever made you feel that way before, like you were their entire world. His affection overwhelmed you. It felt like he cared as much about you as Bill and Frank, just in a different way.

"I love you too, Joel." You squeezed his thigh reassuringly.

“No, darlin'. I’m in love with you. I don’t care about anything else.”

You turned toward him and tried to meet his eyes. “I’m in love with you, too.”

He finally stroked your back. “You might think so, darlin’.” He sighed. “And I ‘preciate you sayin’ it. . . But when you say, ‘it doesn’t feel right here’. . .” He dabbed his eye again. “I gotta wonder.”

“I do, Joel.”

“I dunno if you understand love, darlin’. Or you wouldn’t say that. And you wouldn’t feel lonely.”

You were overwhelmed and confused. It didn’t make sense to you. “I wouldn’t miss my parents?”

“Course you’d miss’em,” he conceded. “But you wouldn’t feel lonely.”

“Guess that’s what I meant,” you said. He nodded and his face warmed slightly. "Plus, I'm worried about Frank," you said and started crying again. Something was tugging at your gut. You felt worse, not better.

Joel started to say something, but didn't. He rubbed your back. “I know, darlin’. He poured you a glass of whiskey and composed himself. “They’d be proud of ya, how you’re doin’.”

You laughed through your tears. “Sorry,” you sniffled. “I didn’t mean I was lonely. I’m not.”

“Okay, darlin’,” he whispered

You couldn’t tell if he really forgave you. Your whole face felt tense.

Joel looked at you and a look of deep concern washed across his face, realizing how bad he made you feel. “Hey, hey. . . . c’mere. . . “ He rubbed your back. You scooted closer and hugged him from the side. He brought your far leg into his lap so you were twisted over him. “Shhhh,” he said and kissed your forehead, but something was still off about him. “It’s okay, baby.” He softened but still felt more distant than usual, like he wasn’t sure he could believe you. The distance made you panic.

“I love you, I really do,” you said.

He drank the rest of his whiskey and bent forward to put the glass down, then stretched his arm out on top of the sofa. You tucked one leg under yourself and rested the other leg over his lap. He draped his hand on your knee, but didn’t make a move to pull you closer. You climbed into his lap, suddenly more concerned about his feelings than anything else.

You wanted to be closer to him, as close as possible. You wanted him wrapped around you, inside you. You wanted to be a part of him and for him to be a part of you. You kissed him on the cheek. He smiled but didn’t look at you, not really. He looked at your eyes but it felt like he was looking past them. “Joel,” you whined, eyes welling up at the lack of validation. You cupped his face in both your hands and kissed him. His lips pressed softly into yours. You looked back and forth between his eyes, trying to connect enough to show him how much you meant it.

“I wanna be with you,” you whispered. “I don’t care about anything else.”

Something behind his eyes flickered on. “You mean that, peaches? You don’t care about anything else?”

You nodded and pressed your lips into his again.

He asked, “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

His hands embraced your back and the affection returned to his eyes full-force like it was in the morning. He wet his lips.

“Good,” he whispered. “It’s you and me, darlin’. We only got each other.”

You nodded.

He looked from your eyes to your mouth and back, closed his eyes, cradled the back of your head, and kissed you deeply. He held you and kissed you, the taste of whiskey fading after a few seconds as your mouths combined. He pulled you closer into his lap and his jeans hardened against your dress and panties, making your core tingle. He moaned into your mouth and your panties moistened rapidly. His cock was big, and feeling it get so hard just for you made you feel special. Earlier, when you said you wanted him inside you, he said you were still being shy with him. He said you hadn’t even touched it yet, that you weren’t giving him everything.

You wanted to show him you could give him everything. His big hands pulled you close and his hips lifted your body as he licked into your mouth. His hard cock pressed perfectly against your clit as his hips moved. You reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, then tugged his shirt up and he let you untuck it. He was truly in the moment. He was yours. You gently grabbed at the bulge in his jeans – it was more than a handful – and he thrust into your palm with a sigh.

You broke the kiss to unzip his jeans, and he watched you like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. You slid your hand into his pants and softly gasped as you felt the stiff outline of his cock through his boxers. His hips lifted into your hand with a soft grunt and he said, “Givin’ me everything, aren’t ya baby?”

You nodded earnestly. He slid his hand between your legs, ghosting your clit over your panties, making you moan.

“Wanna make you feel good,” you whispered, groping his hard cock and feeling a wet spot at the tip.

“Always feel good when I'm with you, darlin’.”

“Want it in my mouth,” you said.

He inhaled sharply. “Fuck, darlin’.” His eyes widened. “That what you want?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and got down on the carpet.

You got out of the way while he took his jeans off for you.

He spread his knees again and pulled the waistband of his boxers down below his balls. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft with his thumb at the tip. Butterflies swarmed between your legs at the sight of his strong hand holding his cock at attention for you. You nestled yourself between his legs.

“You sure?” he asked and looked you over.

You wet your lips and nodded without taking your eyes off his imposing cock.

“Alright, darlin’.” He looked at you with pride and curiosity.

You held his cock at the base and opened your mouth, hovering over the tip.

“Just a little kiss,” he murmured.

You pressed your lips against the tip and kissed it, sucking the salty precum into your mouth.

“Good girl,” he sighed. “Now a little at a time.”

You wrapped your lips around the tip and licked it, looking up at his face for approval. The look on his face made you wet. Joel sighed and tried not to lift his hips. “Good. Doin’ great, baby.”

You sucked a little more of him into your mouth. He was so big, the head alone seemed to stretch your jaw.

“Good, baby. Nice and slow, not too much.” His velvety tip grazed the roof of your mouth. You throbbed between the legs, wishing so badly to have him there instead. But you had to show him you could give him everything.

You braced the shaft at the base and the humidity of his salt and pepper hair made you throb more. You sucked and tongued his shaft and looked up at him for approval.

“Good girl,” he nodded. His validation made you slurp more of him into your mouth, a little too much, and you started gagging.

“Easy, darlin’, hold on,” he chuckled. “Take a breather,” he said.

You were a little embarrassed. “I wanna do it,” you whispered.

“Okay,” he smiled. “How ‘bout you lick it, get it real wet for us.”

You salivated at the sight of his cock in his hand and licked him from base to tip three times - once on the underside, and once from each side.

“Now use your hand, darlin’.” You hesitantly wrapped your fingers and thumb around his shaft and he swelled into your hand. His cock dwarfed your fingers, making you wetter. You were salivating.

You asked, “Are you sure you don’t want my mouth?”

“Darlin’, I love your hands.”

He covered your hand with his and stroked himself with it.

His hips thrust into your hand and it was so easy to imagine yourself impaled on his cock, it was all you could think about.

“Give it another kiss, baby.”

You brought the tip into your mouth again, then licked his cock from base to tip and sucked the head again, curiously tonguing the salty slit. You left as much saliva as you could.

“Good girl,” he murmured and took your hand in his again.

You ached to have him inside you. You wet your lips thirstily.

He watched your face as his breath grew heavier. “Whatcha thinkin’ bout, peaches?”

You had a feeling he knew. You looked down at his cock then back up at him, then away.

“Don’t be shy, baby.”

You looked up and made eye contact. “Putting our bodies together,” you said breathily and watched his face melt into a puddle of want.

He inhaled through his nose, then murmured, “Want that real bad, don’t ya?”

You nodded.

“Why’s that, darlin’?” His lips glistened and his eyes were half-lidded.

“Wanna feel you inside me.”

He breathed heavier as your hands slid up and down on his shaft. He asked, “How ya think it’s gonna feel?”

“I’m gonna be full of you. Attached to you.”

“Yeah, you will,” he nodded. His grip tightened around your hand as he stroked himself. “You’ll be so full of me, baby. ..”

“I really wanna be,” you whispered. You wanted it so bad you could cry. “I need to be.”

“You will be, baby,” he said soothingly. “You want your mouth filled up now?”

“Yeah,” you hovered your mouth near his cock again.

“Go ‘head, baby. Take it, it’s yours.” He took his hand away and put it gently on the back of your head.

You sucked the tip of his cock into your mouth again and made eye contact as you sucked.

He groaned and his thumb stroked the nape of your neck, then he lifted his hips and erupted in your mouth. His warm, salty spend hit the roof of your mouth, then the tip slid back along your palate, and he pulsed again. More cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes watered and you swallowed.

“You did so good, baby.”

He tucked his cock into his boxers and spooned you on the sofa.

“Why’s it feel so good, doing that?” you asked.

“Doin’ what?”

“Just having it in my mouth.”

“S’posed to, baby. Your body’s gettin’ ready for mine.” His words sent a pang of desire between your legs. “Turns you on, right?” He reached under your dress and stroked your panties from the outside. He felt the dampness and murmured, “Guess it does.”

“A lot,” you said. He began stroking your clit rhythmically over the cotton. Your hips started to move on their own in his hand. You moaned softly.

He slid his hand into the front of your panties and thumbed your soft curls. “It’s ‘cause your special parts think I’m fixin’ to put mine right here.” He dipped his middle finger into the pool of wetness hanging at your entrance.

“I wish you would,” you sighed.

He groaned softly at those words, the blood already flowing back to his loins. “You really do, huh?” His voice was low and soft. “You really wanna be full of me.” He wet his fingers with your slick and began gently circling your clit. “Attached to me.”

“Yeah,” you said. “More than anything.”

“Love hearin’ that, peaches.” He held you tighter.

“I wanna give you everything,” you said.

“Gotta be ready, darlin’,” he said into the crown of your head.

“I’m ready.”

“Your body too, angel.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“My body wants yours so bad,” you whined.

“Wantin’ it’s not enough, baby.”

You groaned in frustration.

“Well. . . you tell me, darlin’. You’ve had it in your mouth now. Think it’ll fit in this sweet little hole?” he swirled his finger around.

“I dunno,” you sighed. Your body didn’t care, it wanted whatever he would give you. “I’m sorry,” you muttered.

“For what?”

“Not having my body ready.”

“Oh peaches, I’m glad you’re not. It’ll be a privilege gettin’ you there.” He gently circled your clit.

“Really?”

“Of course, darlin’,” he said softly. “Sometimes they bloom late for a reason.” He dipped his finger into your wetness again. “And this one’s just for me, ain’t it?”

“Yeah,” you whispered.

“We’ll get there, baby. We’ll get there in time.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Let’s see how much you can handle,” he said. “See what it’ll take to get there.”

“Yeah,” you said. “Please.” You lifted your thigh to make more room for his hand.

He slowly slid half his middle finger into your tight, wet heat. You moaned at his first intrusion.

He sucked air in through his teeth. “How’s that feel, baby?”

“I want more.”

He took a deep breath and pushed his finger all the way in.

You whimpered, “yeah,” as your body adjusted.

“God damn,” he whispered as your cunt hugged his digit.

He curled his finger just slightly and you moaned again. “It’s so thick,” you said.

“See? Got a long way to go.” His cock twitched against your ass.

“No, it feels good,” you said as he slowly moved his finger inside you. “I want more.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” you answered impatiently.

“Just one more.” You squinted in frustration. Why just one more?

He took his middle finger out and flattened it alongside his ring finger. He slid them up and down your slippery seam before slowly plunging them inside together. It was a tight squeeze. “God damn,” he breathed. He paused half-way in.

“Feels so good,” you panted. “Keep going,” you begged.

“Don’t wanna hurt ya.”

“Doesn’t hurt at all.”

He slowly sank his two fingers into you completely. “Real snug,” he muttered. “You sure it doesn’t hurt?”

“Too snug? Is that bad?”

“No, no, not at all, baby. But it’s gonna take time to be ready.” He began to move the heel of his palm against your clit and you grinded back against it.

“God, Joel,” you sighed.

“Gonna take time,” he repeated. “‘fore you’re ready for this,” he said with a thrust of his hips, grinding himself into your ass, already fully erect again. He thrust against you again with a soft grunt.

You asked “You want it too, don’t you?”

“Course I do, baby,” he panted. “Gotta feel good for both of us, though. Gotta do it right.” He kissed your head and curled his fingers inside you, digging the meat of his hand against your clit again. “Gotta be real special.”

Your clit twitched against his hand and he said, “C’mon, baby,” moving his hand at a slow rhythm. “Every time you come, gets us closer to what we want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sugar.” He breathed heavily with his body enveloping yours, pumping his fingers deep in your cunt, pressing his palm against your clit.

You let your hips grind back unrestrained.

“There ya go, darlin’,” he said, pressing his hard cock against you as he moved his fingers. “Yeah, just like that.”

You closed your eyes and pretended his fingers were his cock. You knew his cock would feel even better.

“Can’t wait to be inside ya, baby,” he whispered. “Nothin’ I want more.” He slowly pumped his fingers deeper into you as your body opened up for him. “Wanna slide into this tight little hole,” he panted, his cock rutting gently against your ass. “Want you wrapped around me.” He rubbed his palm against your front. “Yeah. . .wrapped so tight around me, baby. Like ya can’t pull us apart” Your hips grinded into his hand with your climax in sight. “Gonna have you so full of me,” he breathed, then he moaned with a harder thrust against you. “Joined together,” he added. “Forever, baby. It’s forever,” he whispered in your ear. “Me and you.” You whined on the edge of your climax. “C’mon, baby,” he whispered, pumping his fingers, rocking his palm, grinding against your ass.

He thrust against your ass with a grunt, and his grunt in your ear was enough for you to see stars. “Joel,” you whined.

“Yeah,” he said as your climax seized you. You whimpered as you came. “Yeah, I got ya, baby,” he whispered. “Good girl.” He kissed your head.

He held you and caressed you as you bathed in the afterglow. It gave you clarity on how wrong you were earlier. You felt the things he felt. You realized how hurt you would have been if he said the same things – That he was lonely, that it didn’t feel right there.

“I’m not lonely,” you whispered. “And of course it feels right, bein’ with you.”

“Okay, baby.” He kissed your head.

“Guess I meant the town didn’t feel. . .” You meant the town. Your stomach dropped as you realized it.

The town. If Abe was really gone, you and Joel were the only two people left in Lincoln. Joel was the town. You couldn’t put your finger on why, but you felt like you might be sick.

“I know, darlin’,” he said obliviously. “But in a way, it’s nice we have this time together.” His arms tightened around you. “Silver lining. Right?” He sighed. “We’re together, don’t care about nothin’ else.”

“Right,” you whispered and tried not to think about it. You shivered and Joel rubbed your arms. “It’s chilly down here. Let’s get you tucked into bed.”

Joel showed you the restroom and your toiletries and towels. He offered you a painkiller to help you sleep. You didn’t want to take it, but he left it on the nightstand with a glass of whiskey in case you needed it. “Know it’s weird, sleepin’ somewhere new,” he said. He took a nightgown out of the dresser for you. He kissed you good night, then shut your door behind him.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you heard something metal clang then rumble outside. You felt safer with Joel in the house, but you wanted his arms around you. Maybe he’d let you climb in his bed. Surely he wouldn’t turn you away. He was being a gentleman, offering you a bed of your own. You opened your bedroom door as quietly as possible and gathered the courage to go downstairs.

Downstairs, you pushed his bedroom door open. “Joel?” you whispered. He didn’t answer. “Joel?” There was a flickering glow outside his window, which made it harder to see the inside of the room until your eyes adjusted.

He wasn’t in bed. Not the bathroom, either. You sat down on his bed and smoothed your hand over his pillow. You dipped your nose into the cotton and inhaled his scent, closing your eyes. It gave you a rush of comfort. A metal clang jolted you back to the moment and the flickering light brightened for a moment. Your heart raced. You carefully peeked out the window and faintly saw what looked to be the silhouette of Joel standing over a burning barrel. You felt like you should go back upstairs, as much as you wanted to curl up in his bed, inhaling his scent.

Your heart was beating too fast to get back to sleep, and you didn’t know why. You paced around the room and looked out the window. You sat at the vanity. You looked in the drawers. You were waiting to hear the door open downstairs. Then you could pretend to come down for the first time. Joel would comfort you, kiss you, cuddle you to sleep. But the door didn’t open downstairs. You paced more and sat on the bed. You opened the closet and looked at the dresses again. You held one up in the mirror.

You opened the other closet door and something caught your eye. In the back, on the very last hanger, there was a dress that made your breath hitch. White with lace sleeves. The longer you looked at it, the more butterflies gathered in your chest. Maybe your eyes betrayed you. It was too dark to tell. You closed the closet, took the painkiller, and got back in bed. You listened out for the door and tried to conjure the feeling of Joel’s arms around you. That was all you wanted.

Thank you so much for reading and engaging! Thank you for your patience, too. I love you guys!!!

I'm not sure if there will be one more part or two; I have to see how it writes. I feel like probably two, but it could be one long one with a little bit of a time jump.

All Joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @lokanda @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor

Lincoln: @fan-fiction-floozy @ivyblxnde @lhymer1995 @sugarspiceanthrax @isimpforfictionalmen @zynbsblogg @swedishscumfuck @sadgirlstoohightocare @steveharringtonswh0re @skythighs @aoziety @leeeesahhh @jupitersmoon-cal @peekymoon @dtfawn

(ct'd in comments or reblogs)

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crazilust · 4 months

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Analyzing celebrities’ fashion according to their venus signs (pt.1)

I believe you can tell alot about someone just by looking at the clothes they've choose to wear. Let's analyze different celebrities' fashion and their venus sign (as well as the degree they're in) and give you some advice on how you can incorporate it in your own fashion style.

Aries venus

Audrey Hepburn

Even though we associate Aries venus with a very flamboyant style (and trust me, they can be and most of them are), I found important to put Audrey Hepburn as an example of someone who’s mastered the minimal, elegant fashion. Aries are very determinate and passionate individuals and once they have their eyes set on something, they’ll achieve it at all cost. I found it relevant in Hepburn’s style, because to me she achieved the quintessential minimalist fashion. She was able to balance being minimal while not being boring and basic, while staying true to herself. I think that’s one of the main strength of Aries venuses. They have to stay true to themselves, and when they do, they’re able to master their own fashion sense.

Also interesting to note that her venus is in a capricorn degree, which could also explain the more minimalist route.

Lady Gaga

On the other side of the spectrum, we’ve got Lady Gaga who also represents Aries venus perfectly. Her ability to tell a story with her clothes has become something we know and associate her for. Again, even if it’s completely different to Hepburn’s, you can still very much see Gaga’s need to be authentic to herself. Her style is a bit more tone down (see picture on the top right), but it’s still close to who she is as a person. It just evolved. Her willingness to be weird and over the top despite the constant misunderstanding of others and nagging, demands a lot of bravery and if that's not an Aries venus in a nutshell, I don't know what it is.

Her venus is in a Piscean degree (24), which could explain her intrinsic desire to use fashion as an art form and always push its boundaries.

Final take

If I were an Aries venus, I would take a long time reflecting on what I truly like, what type of person I am and how I want to be seen before buying anything. I would forget the trends and start investing in personal development in order to see how I could translate that into my clothes. Am I more a lowkey, mysterious kind of person? Flamboyant and over the top? The moment I’d be able to choose at least three words to describe me, I’d start building my closet around them and remind myself that I can go to extremes if I damn wanted to.

Taurus venus

Princess Diana

As a fellow Taurus venus, I’d be lying if I said that Princess Diana is not one of my main inspiration. To me, she represents perfectly what Taurus venus is all about. Simplicity, elegance and effortlessness. There’s a simplicity here, an ease that is very admirable from Princess Diana. It’s almost like she just threw this on but looks phenomenal as a result. It’s polished, but not forced at all and that’s where Taurus’ strength lies. Making it look easy. I also added her biker short outfit to represents Taurus’ need for comfort, but why not make it look cute? Also monochromatic looks to add that touch of put togetherness.

With her venus in 24 degrees (Pisces), we notice her tendency to break the mold and transcend beyond people's expectations. With today's eyes, it doesn't seem that groundbreaking, but at the time, and especially for a Royal, it was cra-zy (also the first one to be known for her fashion!)

Prince

What I wanted to focus on by putting Prince is his sensuality that I feel is overlooked alot when we talk about Taurus Venus. Or it's taken for granted almost. They have this little je-ne-sais-quoi that is so attractive and again, so effortless. Prince mastered this aspect so much and I find it very interesting. His clothes were a direct translation of how he felt about himself. Showing a little skin there, some see-through blouse here. Nothing extremely vulgar, but you get the message. I also wanted to put him there because whenever we think of Taurus venus celebrities, we always reference the most stereotypical ones like Ariana Grande and Lana del Rey. They most obviously embody the Venusian energy, but if you don't like this aesthetic, you can definitely be a little bit more out there just like Prince did.

With his venus in 7 degree, being a Libra degree, Prince was doubling down on his venusian energy, amping up the charm and sensuality while still being seen as charming.

Final take

What I would do (and should start to do actually) as a Taurus venus is focus on the quality of the clothes I put on my body, no matter the aesthetic or fashion choices. At the end of the day, Taurus look fabulous and effortlessly glam, but in order to enhance this trait, it's going to be important to invest in quality pieces in order to emanate this energy. I understand that not everybody wants to invest in clothes, but there's many ways you can do this without breaking the bank : thrift stores, depop, vinted (it might just take longer). Some signs can get away with cheap clothes, distressed clothing, but as Taurus venus, it definetely looks messy and not necessarily in a cute, grunge way lol.

Gemini venus

Margot Robbie

To my surprise, there's actually a lot of supermodels or sex icons/bombshells who possess a Gemini Venus. I say to my surprise, because I always see Geminis as kind of quirky, but it's true, they do embody the perfect balance of being hot but approachable (the twins archetype after all). It's like they can very well be the nerdy shy girl and the bombshell the next minute. I think you can actually see that in Margot Robbie's style where it's very Girl-Next-Door, but with an edge. The monochromatic pink look is to die for but switch the palette for a neutral look, platform for regular slippers and it's not as eye-catching. Without these two small details, you get a very basic look. I would've expected flamboyance, but from what I saw from these celebrities (ex: Kristen Bell, Sandra Bullock) is that they really embody the Model Off Duty vibes, where everything they put has a little edge to it while still appearing very approachable and mainstream. Which, when we think about it, is very reminiscent of Geminis.

Her Venus being in a Leo degree (8) could explain her tendency to want to be extra, lean more on the glamorous side and wear monochromatic colourful outfits

Megan Fox

Another route you could choose, as Megan Fox did, is to go push that Cool Girl fashion all the way and experiment fully with your closet, mixing and matching pieces with different textures and colours. Fox has always been known for her sex appeal and you can definitely see that in her fashion choices in the beginning of her career, but as of lately, she's been more avant-garde with her choices and honestly more fun. She definitely reminds me of the cool girls in my town walking around like they're just out of the fashion magazine, not giving a F about anything and you can't help but notice them.

Her venus is in 23 degrees, which is an Aquarius degree and could definitely explain her tendency to explore different styles and play with colours. Being very experimental.

Final take

What I would do if I were a Gemini Venus, is that I would learn my colours, my signature style and what goes best for my silhouette in order to put forward my best features. While this can be said for anyone, I think Gemini Venus is still very well thought out and in order to give that illusion of "I just got up", you're gonna have to know what makes you pop. As opposed to Taurus, for example, who can just rock an oversized hoodie and some boots and make it look elegant because that's what their energy gives off, Gemini is going to have to work a little bit harder. Experiment. Alot !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it from me folks, I'll post part 2 containing Cancer, Leo and Virgo venus very soon :)

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #astrology observations #birth chart #astrology notes #astroblr #scorpio #pisces #taurus #taurus mc #aries #aries mc #gemini #gemini mc #full moon #astrology tumblr

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mushies-stories · 6 months

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Johnny and his sweet S/O 18+

John 'Soap' MacTavish X F!Reader

summary: literally just a little smut drabble. Johnny cums in his boxers while eating you out :D

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

Warnings: 18+ smut! oral(f), fingering, cum tasting

“Johnny! Please… please mm’so close.” You whine and moan. Your fingers tug gently at what little hair you can grasp at while Johnny’s tongue is doing wonders on your clit. He sinks two thick fingers into your sopping hole. The action causes your back to arch and force your pussy closer to his face.

Johnny groaned into your heat. His sweet little girlfriend was whining so prettily for him. His cock was trapped, throbbing and leaking precum in his boxers. They felt so tight and with the way his cock rubbed against the mattress below him it was hard to keep himself from cumming. Your sweet sounds only egged him on more, wanting to make you cum all over his tongue was making his cock ach for release. “S’good Bonnie, perfect pussy.” he mumbles against you, his hot breath and rumble of his voice making your body shiver. “Gunna cum dove, make a mess f’me?” You nod dumble, just able to make eye contact with him before another pleasurable shock hits you and your eyes are screwing shut, mouth open in a little ‘o’ as soft gasps leave your pretty lips. Doubling down on his efforts he picks up the pace just a little, making sure to suck your clit and swirl your tongue around it.

Within moments your high crashes over you. You feel your pussy gushing over the stimulation and you can't hold back any of the lewd sounds you were making. Sounds that were like music to Johnny's ears, or cock really. All of his senses were clouded with you. Your moans and whimpers, hands urging him forward, the taste of your slick all had his cock twitching and coating his boxers white. He pulled his fingers from your cunt and replaced them with his tongue. You mewled and whined at the over stimulation but he couldn’t stop, not until he was satisfied and his cock stopped twitching.

When he pulled away he couldn't help but smile at the mess he made of you. Your pussy was dripping and the mess you made of his bed was evident. Your eyes were half lidded and legs twitch a little when he pulled them down from his shoulders. “Did so good f’me Bonnie, sweet thing cummin so much.'' He kisses your thigh and leans back on his knees before getting off the bed.

You look at him curiously and sit up, only mildly aware of the mess you made. “Where are you going?” you ask him with a little tilt of your head.

He gives you a sheepish grin, a little embarrassed to admit that he already came. “Well Bonnie, ye already made me.. Well y’know.” he says, voice a little quieter than usual.

You adjust to be on your knees, looking up at him with big doe eyes, a small smile plays at your lips. “Really?” you ask sweetly, eyes trailing down a little to see a little dark patch on his jeans. To say you weren't a little proud of yourself, you’d be lying.

Chuckles he shakes his head a little in shame. “Aye.” he admits. His hands go to his belt and slowly undoes his pants enough to shimmy them down a bit. He slides his hand into his boxers and feels how much he really came. You watch him with blown pupils as he gathers some of his seed on his fingers to show you. Your breathing hitches at the sight, he came a lot, and you didn’t get to feel it. Unconsciously you leaned forward, closer to his hand until your tongue could dart out and lick along the bottoms of his middle and index finger. Your eyes flutter a little when you look up at him, the taste of him making you moan when you swallow. “Fuckin hell Dove.” he groans, cock twitching at the sight.

You give him a little pout of your lips. “Next time I want to feel you cum Johnny.” you whine.

At that, Johnny felt the blood rushing down fast. “Ya? Need to feel me t’fill you up Dove?” you respond with another dumb nod. “Looks like we're just gettin started then aye?” Johnny smirks down at you before crawling back over your body, finishing what he started and giving you what you really need.

#cod #call of duty x reader #call of duty imagine #call of duty #call of duty soap #cod soap #johnny soap mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish imagine #johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mctavish x you #soap x reader #soap x reader smut #soap smut #tf141 #tf141 imagine #tf 141 x reader

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lost-in-fandoms · 1 month

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i was having a nap and started thinking about omega max courting daniel because of this post. this is basically a copy&paste of me going off in the discord server but since i didn't get enough attention to feed me i am looking for it elsewhere. this also means that it is very much not coherent or polished.

maybe courting is just as much instinctive as it is a society custom and max is an omega but was never raised as one and he doesn't really care about secondary gender things anyway so he is pretty much in the dark when it comes to all these omega things.

and at some point he finds himself wanting to do things like one night he can't sleep because his brain wants him to cook and homecooked meal so so bad or his nest doesn't feel quite right no matter what he does. and at first when he complains about it maybe to his trainer or someone they think it's stress? like he's in such a competitive environment, surrounded by alphas all the time, maybe it's his omega side struggling to settle.

but what if instead it's the fact that he is in love with daniel and he wants daniel to be his alpha but he doesn't understand so he has all these courting instincts and doesn't know how to redirect them correctly?

his nests don't feel right because there's nothing that smells like his alpha and his homecooked meal doesn't taste right not only because he's a bad cook but also because it's not meant for him it's supposed to be for daniel but max doesn't know and nobody thinks about it because he's max verstappen why would he be fruitlessly trying to court someone? and maybe people don't realise just how little max knows about how omegas work so they assume that if he was courting someone he'd know and he'd be doing it voluntarily.

and maybe when he instinctively does courting things like offering daniel food or clothes daniel refuses? because he knows it could be seen as a courting behavior and he knows max doesn't mean it that way and doesn't want to put him in an awkward position

and max can't explain why it feels so bad when daniel says no

and maybe daniel knows what max is doing but doesn't think he's doing it voluntarily? he thinks max doesn't know what is happening (which is true) but also thinks that max wouldn't want it if he knew (which isn't) and these are just max's instincts acting up.

and maybe it comes the moment when daniel wants to leave red bull and he thinks that everything would settle if daniel removed himself from the situation. he doesn't want to fuck max up only because his instincts are going a bit haywire (of course he never tells max that because these boys don't ever talk).

so he leaves redbull and max feels like he's been abandoned.

even if daniel is doing what he thinks is best and also maybe is still in denial and tells himself he doesn't want max to court him because he doesn't like max that way so he's trying to do what he thinks is best both for max and for himself, max is still heartbroken.

and then maybe max's omega instincts shut down completely because his alpha rejected him. he's not having the courting instincts anymore but he's not having anything else either, heats included. in some way it works for him because they're just a distraction to racing and he refuses to allow this whole thing to make him feel sad.

and then on the other hand daniel's alpha instincts are going crazy because he doesn't have his omega anymore.

daniel convinces himself it's just regret because he was hoping things would be different in renault and it's hard to change teams after so many years, but he's having unpredictable ruts and feels like he's missing something all the time and sometimes he finds himself walking towards the red bull garage without thinking and then he catches max's scent and he feels inexplicably better.

and then they grow more distant. max is busy winning and ignoring the fact that his omega side has completely shut down and daniel is busy with renault first and mclaren later and having his alpha side going crazy and making him feel like shit. they have their moments but they both ignore the fact that they feel better when they get to spend some time together.

and during this whole time max has not been having heats. until one day he does. and in the past he used to deal with his heats on his own or maybe would call one friend or another to help but this time all he can think about his daniel daniel daniel.

his toys and fingers aren't enough and the thought of calling someone else makes him feel sick so when he's so deep into it he can't help himself anymore he calls daniel, sobbing down the phone to please come and help. he feels like he's dying.

and daniel goes because of course he wants to help max, max is his friend, but also as soon as his omega max asked for it his alpha side wouldn't have let him refuse. so he helps max through his heat and it's a lot for both of them and it's confusing because it feels like a lot more than just helping a friend through their heat. it feels like they're mates.

so when daniel obviously freaks and leaves as soon as possible they both feel like shit and that's when something clicks for max. and he researches and asks around he understands why he's been feeling that way and all his behaviors back in the day and he tries to talk to daniel but daniel is in his depression mclaren era and doesn't want to acknowledge this because he doesn't deserve it already has enough on his plate.

but max is going to be a two times world champion and when he sets his head to something he doesn't back off so he starts trying to court him for real and slowly daniel starts accepting it because he needs the comfort and he needs the love and he needs to feel good about something when everything else is going to shit.

and max goes so so slow because he doesn't want to scare daniel away but his omega side is so happy every time he gets to do something for daniel, even if it's just getting him to nap for 15 minutes in his driver room with daniel's head in his lap.

and then daniel leaves mclaren and wants to come back to red bull and max says yes of course you should but if you come back will you let me court you for real? because if you don't then it will be of course be very painful for us both to be around each other that much

and daniel is hit with the realisation that max really wants him and wants to be for him even if he's a failure and won't even have a proper seat. so he says yes okay and actually starts to court max back and that zandvoort stroopwaffle moment was just a public declaration of what had been going on behind closed doors for months.

#maxiel #my writing #this is very messy but i am sad and need validation

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astraaa3 · 7 months

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How about some headcanons of Velvette x Female or Genderneutral reader who hates confrontation? Is the type that can't send back food when it's wrong. Someone cut in front of them? What are they gonna do? Tell them not to? Yeah, no. God forbid they're being outright spoken down to. Maybe they yell back at someone in an act of defiance as a form of growth but they're in shock immediately after which is so not the right thing to do with the person still in front of them. Velvette would probably dress reader up however she wants to. What happens if reader tries out saying they want to where something they think is pretty or nice? Okay, this got overly lengthy, but you get the idea?

A/N: This one was such a fun writing experience. I literally couldn't decide which way I wanted it to go. Thank you so much for the ask Anon, hope you enjoy it. <33

Feedback is much appreciated and don't forget to ask. (I need something to get the brain juices flowing)

Velvette x Gn!Reader

In which Reader can't bring themselves to say no to people or to stand up for themselves. (aka the Velvette x Pushover!Reader I never knew I needed)

=========📱=========

Initially, Velvette wrote off your compliance with all of her requests as you wanting to please her. And well, she couldn't complain, she liked pushing people around, and her partner was no exception. That said, her sharp tongue was reserved for her poor models. (you got a free pass most of the time since she didn't want to make you cry)

With time, Velvette realized that this was just how you were. She laughed the first time Vox showed her the footage of you helping an assistant carry boxes, only to end up helping with organizing files for one of Vox's assistants. She laughed even harder when she saw you try to get a word in as some wolf sinner cut in front of you in line. And well, it was kinda funny. Until the same shit happened again and again.

Velvette tried talking some sense into you. "Babe, listen. You can't just let any dimwit trample over you." She sighed as you promised to try to stick up for yourself.

Nothing changed after Velvette's 'pep talk'.

Realizing that you were too much of a soft-hearted pathetic idiot to stick up for yourself, Velvette took it upon herself to keep others from pushing you around.

Someone pushed in front of you in the line? Velvette was there telling that cunt exactly why they didn't deserve to even look in your direction.

You were delivered the wrong food order? Velvette would call the restaurant to make sure they knew how utterly useless they were for not even being able to pack a food order.

After laying it on thick whoever wronged you, she would look at you smirking. In turn, you would smile at her happily before kissing her. It turned into a game after some time.

The one time Velvette saw you raise your voice wasn't even to defend yourself. It was to defend her. The moment you calmed down enough to realize what you just said, you were immediately mortified. Burying your face into your hands, you flushed red from embarrassment as Velvette looked at you with wide eyes. Fuck. It was hot seeing you angry…

=========📱=========

Small prompt time~

You and Velvette were walking towards the Coffee Shop right across the street from the V tower. The two of you were holding hands while Velvette was ranting all about how Valentino absolutely destroyed one of her models just before a show when the domestic vibe was ruined by some drunk assholes who came up to them.

"Hey babe, aren't you that cute little overlord with the social media shit? I'll give you something to make a story on Voxstragram with."

As the sinner said this, he made some explicit gestures with his hips. Gagging in disgust Velvette grabbed your hand to walk away from them, not wanting to ruin the cozy coffee date you had planed. However, as you were walking away, all you could hear was the those sinners mocking laughs. You were so angry. You didn't exactly know what made you snap at them. Was it the crass comments regarding your lover? Was it the fact that Velvette refrained from killing them for your sake? Maybe it was both. But before you knew it, you turned around glaring at them before proceeding to curse them into the next afterlife. Velvette looked at you shocked, not expecting you to snap at those no-names. As you calmed down, you looked at Velvette's shocked expression, before burrying your face in your face mumbling something along the lines of: "Let's not talk about this ever again." Velvette pulled your hands from your face, replacing them with hers. As she cradled your face with her hands she smiled at you excited:

"That. Was. Fucking. Awesome. Babe, you were so hot fucking humiliating those pathetic worms."

The first thing Velvette did when they got back to the V tower was spam her groupchat with Valentino and Vox with messages about how cool you were. But you didn't need to know that. After all, she liked taking care of assholes for you. Satan forbid you actually grow a backbone. She dreaded the day you would actually gain the courage to deny her picking your clothes. (as if she would ever let that happen)

#velvette x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #x reader #gn reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette

177 notes · View notes

jinhyun · 2 years

Text

—mean it.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader, oc x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 16.2k (i'm so sorry omg)

summary: hyunjin crashing at a party he wasn't initially invited to, with the one and only purpose of seeing you, could either go incredibly wrong... or incredibly right.

warnings: mansion party, drinking, cursing, heavy making out, foreplay, very slight fingering and handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), MINORS DNI!!!!

a/n: hellooo, here it is!! this monster of a one shot!!! i am so sorry to those of you who aren't into long fics (i feel you my bbs i'm one of them lol) but you can always take your time and read this in a couple of days or something idk :')

either way i hope you guys enjoy and please, please, pleaseeee let me know your thoughts on this. it really took me more effort and time than i had initially calculated lmao and i would really love to gossip about it with you guys<3

Feelings were something Hyunjin had avoided all his life. Or at least for as long as he had learned the meaning of them, along with the implications of being in a formal relationship with the one person you allegedly had said feelings for.

He just didn't understand why anyone would want to complicate things with them, when they could simply live in the moment and be with anyone they wanted, whenever they wanted. No strings attached seemed like Heaven, and the best way to live your life.

It had worked for him all these years. No complications. No misunderstandings. Just meaningless sex, with girls who knew beforehand they would not be getting anything else from him. If they were lucky enough, they might get to be with him more than once in the name of having a good time, but that was it. That was all they would ever get. That was all he would ever give to someone.

Up until you came into the picture.

You had come to change his entire world without a warning, as you were the exact opposite to him by not being afraid of your feelings — if anything, being in love with the whole concept of them. You were shameless when it came to them. You were in love with the idea of love.

You had feelings for him, and you did not try to hide it one bit. You knew that he knew about them, yet you did not try to play it cool or to even deny it. No, you embraced it. And that was both annoying and terrifying to Hyunjin.

He didn't know how to react to that. He didn't like feelings. He didn't want complications. He didn't want commitment.

But then he found himself caring a little too much about you and Changbin hooking up.

And he found himself looking for excuses to spend time with you.

And feeling his chest tighten at both the sight and thought of you and his friend.

Until he kissed you. And suddenly he didn't only feel all that about you and his friend alone, but about you and anyone else. You and anyone who wasn't him.

He started caring a little too much about you. Wanting to be with you at all times. Wanting to kiss you at all times. Wanting to talk to you, to make you laugh. Wanting to make you feel better whenever you were down, and be there with you through all your achievements.

He started wanting you all to himself.

Just like that, he got caught in the complications he never wanted, and the commitment he had so diligently tried to avoid.

And it took him to lose you for it to hit him why he had found himself caught in all those situations he so confidently claimed to despise.

Feelings. That was the answer. His feelings for you. The very ones he had tried his best to look past and now could no longer deny.

The very ones that ended up bringing him into a house —not to say mansion— he had never been to before, surrounded by people who were mainly strangers to him, looking for the one person amongst all of them he only cared about.

Changbin had called Soyeon as soon as they arrived at the mansion, so she could open the door for them and let them into the party they were both crashing at. Hyunjin only got to greet her before he realised he was third wheeling a matter of seconds later — flashbacks to that one time he had found them making out in Minhyuk's kitchen coming to mind and making him cringe, being enough to excuse himself from them and decide to wander around on his own instead.

Taking a look around, he couldn't help but curse under his breath over how fucking big the place was. He was pretty sure the fancy living room alone was bigger than his entire shared apartment with Seungmin and Bin. The marble stairs to the second floor looked straight out of an upper class movie, and he failed at counting all the doors that were at simple sight.

How the hell was he supposed to find you in here?

He was not giving up that easily, though. He had literally only come here because of you, after all. So, with a subtle shake of his head, he made his way through the many acting majors so he could reach what he thought would be the kitchen. You being there getting a refill or just hanging out seemed like a very high possibility.

Only you were not.

There were only a few people in there, and after doing a double take, he came to terms with you simply not being there. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to the counter and poured himself a drink, taking a sip of it as he pulled his phone out and scrolled down on Twitter — maybe you had posted something that could give him an idea about where exactly you were inside this endless-looking place.

"Hyunjin?"

His head snapped towards where his name had came from — having been too focused on his phone to fully take in the femenine voice, yet hoping he would lock eyes with you. Instead, he found himself locking them with Lee Somin, an acting major he had met at a party last year and ended up taking back home that same night.

"Somin…" he couldn't help but sound disappointed.

"Hey" she smiled. "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while".

"Yeah, it's been like… a year?" his eyebrows knitted together deep in thought.

"I'm pretty sure we ran into each other last term" her lips curved up in a way he could tell she was flirting. "But yeah, a year more or less".

Hyunjin nodded, silently looking down into his cup as he considered taking another sip.

In all honesty, he couldn't care less — neither to remember how long had it been, nor to keep this conversation going. It had only been a one time thing, after all. He had maybe seen her one or two times on campus after that. Not important enough for him to keep track of.

He should have considered the possibility of running into his past hookups when coming here. Any other time, he wouldn't have minded. Three or maybe even two months ago, he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. But tonight he only wanted to find you. Entertaining any kind of conversation with those he had been with at some point before you was truly not part of his plans.

"Didn't think you'd be here" Somin gave it another shot at initiating small talk.

"I wasn't," he blurted out. "I mean, it was last minute".

"Couldn't turn down having some fun, huh?" she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him.

Hyunjin moved away, slightly, not to seem rude. "Uh, yeah… I just…"

"Maybe we could stick together" she proposed with a smirk, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was way past tipsy by now. "We had lots of fun together last time".

"I'm actually here with someone" he confidently informed her, both to her and his own surprise.

"Oh? I thought dating wasn't really your scene?"

"It wasn't," he agreed. "It just sort of happened".

"Who's the lucky girl then?"

Hyunjin shrugged.

Y/N. You. Of course that was the answer, what he wanted to believe — what he wanted to be true. But going around telling people that you two were together was not the most ideal of moves. Not when it was not true. Not when he was trying to win you over again and didn't want to hurt you nor make you mad any further.

"Well?" she pushed it. "Don't make me think you're only making it up to keep me from taking you home with me tonight".

He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink and muffling his answer. "Y/N".

"What?"

"Y/N," he repeated, louder this time after having swallowed. "I'm with Y/N".

The smirk that had just curved up her lips at the sound of your name almost made him sick to his stomach. "The artist?"

He nodded.

Somin shook her head in amusement. She did not believe him for shit.

"I mean, I heard that around a couple of times but I just couldn't believe it" she chuckled. "You guys must be in a pretty messy relationship then, considering she's been very lovey dovey with Na Heesung tonight".

Hyunjin found himself physically having to bite his tongue, not to say anything he'd regret later. "You know where she is right now?"

She shook her head no. "I ran into them like an hour ago and I haven't seen them since. Maybe they're in the backyard, or in a room upstairs".

Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist at the last remark. There was no way, right? You couldn't possibly be hooking up with Heesung as they spoke.

"Funny" he took another sip, letting his body lean against the counter.

"I mean it, though" she cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen a few couples go upstairs and not come back yet. Apparently it is a thing to hook up in a mansion with as many rooms as an apartment complex. Not like Yurim cares anyway".

"She wouldn't" Hyunjin mumbled.

"Y/N?" Somin wondered, looking up at him before her stare softened. "You guys are really together?"

Once again, he fell silent, staring into his cup like his life depended on it and shrugging her question off.

As if on cue —and almost as manifested by him— your laugh was heard in the living room, getting closer by the second. And before Hyunjin could straighten himself up in order to walk towards where he had heard your voice, you entered the kitchen. Much to his disdain, in the company of the one and only Na Heesung.

"Hyunjin-ah" you said the moment your eyes abandoned Heesung and locked with Hyunjin's first thing, clearly surprised by his presence.

"Hey, Y/N…" he smiled, not bothering to acknowledge the guy next to you who had just excused himself to pour yourselves a new drink.

Hyunjin would be damned to look at anyone else right then as you were right in front of him looking like that. You had gone for the black dress you had shown him through the picture he had whined for, and if he had died at the sight of you in it through his phone's screen, he was sure he had reached Heaven by now. The way you had decided to let your hair down in the end, somehow only managing for him to find it harder to breathe.

That button down black dress would be the end of him, that was for sure.

He wanted nothing but to pull you to him right then and run his fingers through the smooth fabric of it, which hugged your body so beautifully he found it hard to control himself.

Oblivious to the thoughts going through his head at the mere sight of you and your choice of clothing, you smiled back. "I didn't know you were coming?"

He cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "I was invited last minute".

You nodded understandingly, eyes travelling from him to the girl by his side, whose presence you were only now noticing. Not taking his eyes away from you, Hyunjin saw your smile be erased in a second, and that was all it took for him to realise you were putting two plus two together and not exactly getting four out of that sum.

"I see…" you tried to smile again, accepting the new drink Nana was offering you.

"Not by…" Hyunjin rushed to explain, throwing Somin a quick glance before his eyes were back on you. "She didn't—we're not…"

Your smile grew bigger, genuine, at his poor way with words. "It's okay, I get it".

"No but—"

"We just came here for drinks, so…" Heesung spoke up, trying to help you out of that situation and earning himself a glare from Hyunjin while at it.

"Ah, yeah" you agreed, giving Hyunjin and the girl one last look as you followed Nana out of there. "Have fun, you guys".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Having come all the way here, Hyunjin had most certainly not expected that to be his first encounter with you.

He had come all the way here for you, to see you. Running into one of his past hookups and having her next to him right as you ran into him, making you believe he had come here with her, had entirely defeated the whole purpose of him showing up.

Sure, the main reason he had come here was to make sure you and Heesung wouldn't end up hooking up —or worse, becoming a couple— by the end of the night, but it was also so he could spend some time with you. He wanted to be with you. Maybe get a drink together. Talk. Laugh. Win you back.

And every hope of his to get to do just that tonight had been shut down not even fifteen minutes into the party.

Running a hand through his hair as he and Somin walked out of the kitchen and parted ways, he found himself feeling not only frustrated over the whole situation, but also embarrassed as hell after being caught in his own white lie to the girl.

He tried his best to put all of it past him and once again look for you, not wanting to give up just yet — coming up with excuse after excuse to try and take you away from Heesung the moment he saw you again, so he could finish explaining himself. Just a couple of minutes would do.

"Guys, guys!" a blonde yelled from the other side of the room, where a small group of people was sitting down on the floor. "We're about to play a game, in case anyone wants to join!"

Not thinking much of it, Hyunjin resumed his way through the living room on his search for you, shaking his head in amusement when he saw Somin run towards them and sit down in the circle that was only getting bigger and bigger.

And he would've actually walked straight past said group of people and out to the backyard, if it weren't for the fact that he caught a glimpse of you — already sitting down on the floor, careful enough not to have your dress accidentally roll up your thighs. Surprised not to see Heesung next to you, he looked around, almost not believing he had left you all alone in a room full of strangers, about to play a drinking game.

That didn't last long, though, for the next second Nana was back in the picture, sitting down right next to you —in a spot you had apparently saved for him— and placing a black jacket on your legs. You smiled, visibly touched by that considerate gesture of his, before you shifted into a more comfortable position now that your legs were mostly covered. Into a position closer to him.

"Hyunjin, you're playing?" Somin asked from the opposite end, snapping him out of it.

Only then he realised he had been staring for too long — more eyes on him than he would've enjoyed, all of them waiting for his answer so the game could begin.

Hyunjin shook his head no, walking over to the closest wall and leaning against it as he faced the human circle that had just been created. "Just watching".

Feeling your familiar stare on him from the corner of his eyes, he locked them with yours, and he could see you shift in your place as you became nervous under his piercing stare. No one else but Heesung had seemed to notice the subtle change in your mood.

Your eyes only broke contact when the same girl that had announced the game for everyone to join before began to explain the dynamics of the so-called 'whisper game'. It was simple — one person secretly asked a question to another one, the latter answered out loud for everyone to hear, and whoever wanted to know what the question was had to take a shot.

Hyunjin could only thank that they had gone with that drinking game instead of the cliché spin the bottle one. Although he might've played this time around, in hopes to get to feel your addictive lips on his one more time. The idea of you kissing someone else, however, was not nearly as appealing — not to say horrifying.

This whole different game was pretty boring from the sideways, he realised ten minutes in. Hearing answer after answer without getting any context as to what had been asked seemed pointless, yet he could not find himself to be interested enough to sit down and play, nor indifferent enough to leave — not when you were still playing.

The only time he had felt the urge to join was when this other guy had gotten close enough to whisper something to you and make you laugh quite loud, which was followed by a shake of your head and a confident "no". Half of the people there had not hesitated to drink up and crawl over to the guy so they could find out what he had asked you, and Hyunjin would lie if he said he didn't consider taking a shot right then.

Other than that, he could feel himself grow bored.

Up until a redhead asked something to Heesung later on, causing him to look shy for a moment there. And, you see, that itself was not enough to catch Hyunjin's attention, he could not care any less about the guy and what he had to say. But seeing him lean in to whisper something in your ear, when it wasn't even his turn to ask, had him tensing up on his place.

You seemed a bit taken aback by whatever it was that Nana had told you — your eyes unconsciously going up to Hyunjin for a millisecond before they were back on Heesung. And then you nodded.

As if mimicking your actions, Nana nodded as well, fixing his eyes back on the girl who had asked him a question before he finally answered. "Y/N".

The girl covered her mouth as she squealed, that simple action having people taking shots like their lives depended on it — all of them obnoxiously cooing once they got the answer they had drank for.

Only you had seemed not to drink. Maybe because you already knew the answer, he thought. Maybe that's what Heesung had whispered to you before announcing your name to everyone else. Maybe he had just confessed, and he wanted you to be the first one to know.

Hyunjin's head was all over the place — the mere idea of you and Heesung together, and him being too, late made him want to scream.

As if that wasn't enough to freak him out, Heesung's turn to ask was next. The second he leaned in to ask you something, Hyunjin knew he was taking the shot.

Having heard the question, you sat back up, conflicted eyes once more locking with Hyunjin's, as you seemed to look for the answer deep down you already knew.

And for a moment there, just for a second, Hyunjin thought he would be your choice. Whatever the question had been, whether important or not, he thought his name would be the one abandoning your mouth next. However, he was proven wrong the second your eyes went back to Heesung.

"You".

Heesung smiled, and Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist for the second time that night — only now he could actually feel his knuckles turn white out of anger. Out of jealousy.

Before he could stop himself, he was taking a seat next to you and snatching from your hand the shot that had previously been refilled, not even caring about the stranger next to you he had just shoved aside to get some space in between, and most definitely not thinking twice before he was downing it all in one go and feeling the liquor burn its way down his throat.

"You can't just get in the game whenever you feel like it" you quietly recriminated him.

Hyunjin shrugged, staring at you in such a way you knew he was not giving this up. "I already drank, so tell me".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

How you had found yourself to be in such a situation was beyond you.

The party had been going great for the first hour and a half. You and Heesung had been stuck together the entire time, taking things to the backyard and sitting down on a bench by the pool, just talking and laughing the night away, joining in eventual conversations with his classmates — yet somehow preferring to just be the two of you for most of the time.

It had been later on when everything had seemed to go to shit. When the two of you had gone back inside after you had gotten cold, and Heesung proposed going to the kitchen to get more drinks. You had agreed to it in a heartbeat, laughing on your way over there, as having another drink sounded just perfect to you.

Until your eyes met Hyunjin's first thing once in there.

And maybe it wouldn't have really mattered to you that he was there, if it weren't for the fact that he had company.

You couldn't help but feel stupid right there. Two months. You had been trying to get over him for a little over two months now, and you still felt your heart squeeze at the sight of him and someone else.

All you could do right then without being too obvious about the evident change in your mood was to greet him — quickly, barely acknowledging him before moving on.

That's why you had thanked Heesung for getting you out of there as soon as you were back in the living room, and why the drinking game was perfect timing. You had not even hesitated before you dragged Nana to join it with you. You would get to avoid Hyunjin and his date —or whatever that acting major was to him— and get your mind off the way your heart had felt at the sight of them together.

Of course, you didn't count on her wanting to play as well and sitting down right across from you. At least Hyunjin didn't seem interested enough to join in as well — you surely wouldn't have been able to handle his answers to the possible questions he would've been getting, especially when he seemed to have come here with someone else. No matter how hard you had tried, you realised right then you weren't nearly halfway getting over him. You were nowhere near ready to see him with someone else just yet.

The questions had been pretty silly at first, everyone was having a laugh and drinking for the sake of it. Or, well, for the sake of gossip. Drama was something that seemed far away from the game. Up until this one guy asked a girl who she'd rather make out with in the party and she answered with no hesitation. From then on, the questions began getting more serious, spicier.

You had been too busy laughing at Heesung when a redhead —whose name you had learned was Minseo— used her turn to ask him of all people a question, to even notice him leaning in towards you and placing his lips dangerously close to your ear.

"Do you wanna see whether Hwang feels something for you?"

His words had you physically leaning back and away from him, staring at him in shock for a moment before your eyes travelled towards Hyunjin, whose awaiting eyes were already fixing on yours.

Did you? That was the thing, did you want to know whether he felt something for you? Did you want to know now of all times? Now that you guys were done and you were trying your hardest to move on?

The rational side of you was quick to answer no. No, you did not want to know. You were done with him. Whether he felt something for you or not did not matter in the slightest, because it would not change anything.

The romantic side of you, the one that had been in love with Hwang Hyunjin for over a year now and that was still hurting over him not feeling the same way you did, wanted to know. Because that part of you was the hardest to shut down, especially when it came to the one person you had felt the strongest for.

In the end, the answer was simple. Your heart always seemed to win when it came to making decisions somehow. So you nodded.

And as Nana said your name out loud and everyone freaked out over it, even more after hearing what he had been asked for him to say your name as his final answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at Hyunjin.

Reading him, his feelings and thoughts, had never been an easy task to do. Right then, however, although still wearing a rather unreadable serious semblance, you could tell he was not happy.

He did not like to have your name abandon Heesung's mouth like that in the slightest.

And for a moment there, you thought he was about to join the game and take a shot. You thought he would care enough to go and find find the answer. But he didn't.

Too focused on him, you didn't even drink. Not like you really cared about what the previous question had been, you knew Nana hadn't meant his answer anyway. Plus, you would probably end up hearing it from someone else at some point, just like you were sure Hyunjin would, too.

When it was Heesung's turn to ask and he leaned in once more towards you, though, this time asking an actual question that you would have to answer out loud for everyone to hear, you were able to get an idea as to what he had been asked right before.

"Out of everyone here, who would you like to kiss tonight?"

Now, you knew he was doing this to help you get a reaction out of Hyunjin. Therefore, you were supposed to answer him, Na Heesung. Not a single thought. Just say his name. Right away.

But you couldn't help but actually give it a second thought.

You could've said Hyunjin. He was the one you wanted to kiss that night, being honest, and you wanted nothing but to slap yourself across the face for you to wake the fuck up. You were not supposed to want to kiss him. Not tonight, not ever. Yet here you were, locking eyes with him while you internally debated whether you should say his name or not.

No, you couldn't say his name — you were hit with a change of heart. Even if you wanted to kiss him, even if you were dying to feel his mouth on yours like you had oh-so-many-times done by now, you couldn't say it out loud. Not for everyone to hear. Not for him to hear. Not when you knew he didn't want to be with you in the same way you wanted to be with him.

You couldn't keep making a fool out of yourself. You couldn't keep giving him the pleasure of your undivided attention when he didn't reciprocate.

Forcing yourself to look away from him, you nervously fidgeted with one of the buttons on your dress, collecting all the sanity you had left before you could find it in you to confidently look at Nana and to answer for once and for all. "You".

The collective cheer that followed your one-word answer, right before the nosy players began drinking down their shots, was no surprise. You had expected it no matter what your answer was.

What you were not expecting was for Hyunjin to sit down next to you in what felt like a second — snatching the drink from your hand and downing it all in one go, so he could demand to hear what you had been asked.

It was funny, not to say tragic, how, somehow, all your decisions, all your feelings, always came back to Hyunjin.

You had come to this party to forget about him. You had felt that annoying, oh-so-familiar pressure in your chest because of him, when you saw him with someone else. You had decided to play this drinking game to once again keep your mind away from him. You had agreed to play along with Heesung's scheme because of him. You had answered Heesung because of him.

And now, you were currently panicking because of him. The one and only, Hwang Hyunjin.

Always, Hwang Hyunjin.

"Well?" he pushed it. "What was the question?"

"Um…" you hesitated, looking back at Heesung, in hopes of getting some help from him.

"Oh, come on," the girl Hyunjin had been with when you greeted him earlier that night spoke up. "Everyone already drank, you guys can announce it out loud and save us the trouble of having to go there and hear it one by one".

Heesung's eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission to let everyone know what he had just asked.

You shrugged, defeated. Everyone would end up knowing anyway. Hyunjin would end up knowing anyway. There was no escape this time around, so it was better to just get it over with.

"Um. I asked who she'd rather kiss".

Everyone's reaction was the exact same as it had been when they found out why Nana had answered with your name before. Only this time it was in unison, louder, as they had all found out at the same time.

And this time you could feel Hyunjin tense up right next to you.

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, keeping it safe instead by looking down to your lap, while your face burned up in embarrassment as you heard different voices speculating about your relationship with Heesung.

"Hold on, hold on," Minseo's cheeky tone brought everyone's attention to her. "So Nana said he'd like to take Y/N home with him by the end of the night and now Y/N said she'd rather kiss him~"

Hyunjin's face snapped in your direction, a frown visible on it as he seemed to be piecing everything together. The same as you were at this newfound information. So that was what Heesung had answered your name for.

His intentions of helping you out made a lot more sense now that Hyunjin had heard the question, too.

Not like he had much time to process it anyway, as another girl who had gotten way too much to drink by now was fast to chant, "Ohhh, now kiss!"

Both you and Heesung tensed up in your spot, exchanging looks as you hoped no one else would engage with that comment.

Your luck was no such, though, for it was only a matter of seconds before everyone started chanting for the two of you to kiss as well.

Everyone but Hyunjin, of course. Unlike the rest, who seemed to be enjoying this way too much, he remained silent, still, almost scared of moving — as if the slightest of movements from him would send you straight to Heesung's mouth.

"We're not kissing in front of you all" Heesung tried to play it off with a laugh.

"Yeah," you joined him. "You guys are crazy".

That had only served as fuel to the fire. The chanting now becoming louder, followed along with claps, to the point you knew there was no changing their drunken minds unless you gave them what they wanted.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry" he apologised to you, voice barely audible in between all the madness.

You shook your head, letting him know it was alright. "Let's just get it over with"

Although your voice came out in more of a mumble and you would've thought he wouldn't hear you, the surprise displaying on his face let you know otherwise.

"You sure?" he whispered.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

You nodded, it was just one kiss after all, no big deal. The fact that Hyunjin was right next to you had been completely pushed to the back of your head by now, his presence being long overshadowed by the loud unison voices clouding your judgment.

Watching Heesung nod as well in silent agreement, you leaned in, meeting his lips halfway. Just like that. No hesitation, no second thoughts.

They were nice, soft. Enough so that you knew you would've actually enjoyed the feel of them on yours a lot more if it weren't for the cheers hurting your ears — not to say if it weren't for the fact that you were only doing it because of the social pressure.

You also would've enjoyed it one hell of a lot more if your mind weren't suddenly back on Hyunjin as Heesung's lips sucked on your bottom one.

You could've sworn you had heard his voice call out your name right as your mouth pressed to Nana's. But then again, that might've been the part of you that was still head over heels for him — the one part of you that was still hopeful, the one that still wanted him to show any kind of feelings for you.

The part of you you needed to get rid of.

Pulling away from Heesung after a couple of seconds, Hyunjin was gone.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"I'm sorry" Heesung apologised for the third time since you had quit the game.

The whisper game had been turned into spin the bottle right after your kiss, and neither you nor Heesung wanted to partake in it.

It had been harder than you had thought to leave the game, as everyone was trying to make you guys stay so it wouldn't turn boring due to losing players, but you had managed to sneak into the kitchen after a while.

You were not kissing anyone else that night.

"Nana, it's fine" you tried to laugh it off once more, sipping on the water you had decided to take in order to cancel out the few shots you drank. "It was just a game".

"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't know, I didn't think it'd go that far".

"Neither did I, but… it's done now" you shrugged, placing your now empty glass down on the counter.

"At least we got a reaction out of our main target" he smirked.

"What tar—oh" you remembered, making Heesung laugh at your cluelessness. "He just left, though…"

"And that itself says a lot?!" he pointed out in disbelief. "And come on, he literally jumped to take that shot when you answered with my name".

"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. "I don't know, he's always been jealous… or possessive, whatever you want to call it, like that".

"He's always had feelings for you then".

At that, you couldn't hold your laugh. "Yeah, right".

"I'm serious, though".

"No, I think it's just… I don't know, he grew way too used to being the only one in my eyes. Any other time I would've answered with his name. He doesn't like not having that anymore, that's all".

"Y/N, you cannot for the love of God be that oblivious!" Nana whined, grabbing your shoulders and shaking them for you to get a grip. "He wouldn't go to such extents just because of that".

It was now your turn to whine, letting your head fall to his shoulder as you lamented. "Everything is just so confusing when it comes to him, I don't know what to believe anymore".

"I think you should believe what you just saw, I mean… Y/N, he literally left when we kissed".

You let out a heavy sigh, feeling Heesung's shoulders slump down as he decided to drop the topic and pull you into his arms in a comforting hug.

"You wanna leave?" he asked after a couple of seconds.

"Yeah… that might be for the best" you mumbled, slowly pulling away from his embrace as you stood up straight. "There is no way we're leaving together now, though. I won't have my name in yet another rumor".

"Seems like the fair thing to do" he chuckled. "But there's no way I'm letting you go back home alone so late, I'll just head out first and wait for you outside or something".

"I guess that could work" you agreed.

"It will," he reassured you. "Although, to be honest, I don't think they'd start a rumor regarding us two".

"I can't trust your classmates anymore, I'm sorry" you shrugged, much to his own amusement. "No but that's not all because, like, imagine if they saw us leaving together and made us kiss again".

"I get that it was mere social pressure but don't make it sound like kissing me sucks" he dramatically clutched at his chest.

Rolling your eyes, you looked away as you denied, "I didn't hate kissing you, if I'm honest… I'm just saying".

Heesung smiled. "I didn't hate it either".

You felt your cheeks heat up all over again, just like they had when you pulled away from the kiss a couple of minutes ago. That had probably been the alcohol speaking, but you did mean it.

The kiss was nice. Pleasant. Different from Hyunjin's. Different from the way you felt with Hyunjin's. But nice nonetheless.

Before any of you could try and say anything else, however, someone clearing their throat at the entrance caught your attention.

Hyunjin stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stare you had not seen on him for a good while now, if ever. It was cold, and you couldn't pinpoint whether he was hurt or mad, nor whether he was feeling that way towards you or Heesung — or maybe both.

So cold, that you felt yourself to be oh-so-little under it.

"Am I interrupting something?" his voice sounded just as cold as his eyes looked.

Heesung bit his bottom lip, swallowing his own words not to make the situation any worse and looking at you instead, so you could be the one to answer.

"N-No…" you stuttered, eyes abandoning Nana's and fixing on Hyunjin's.

He nodded, entering the kitchen and silently going over to pour himself a drink.

Giving you an understanding look before you could even process what was going on, Heesung took a step away from you and towards the entrance. "We forgot my jacket in the living room after the game, so…"

"Nana…" you whispered, failing to grab his hand for him to stay.

He motioned towards Hyunjin, whose back was turned towards you, and gave you a reassuring smile before he left the room.

You stayed in your place. Hyunjin and you were now the only ones in there, and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word to him. Were you even supposed to say anything? His back was turned to you, after all, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. Maybe you were just supposed to leave. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, too.

Leaving seemed like the best option.

"He a good kisser?" Hyunjin asked, still not bothering to look at you.

You stopped in your tracks just as you were about to cross the door and turned around to look at him, finding yourself at a loss of words — completely taken aback by his bold question.

"What?"

"You enjoyed the kiss?" he rephrased it, finally turning around and looking at you as he took a sip of his drink.

"Why are you asking me this?" your voice faltered. "Shouldn't you be with your date?"

Hyunjin snorted. "Had you stayed one more second when we greeted and had you let me explain, you would've known by now that I came on my own and it was Changbin hyung's date who snuck me in".

The relief you felt at that made you mad at yourself all over again. It shouldn't matter who he came here with, nor who invited him in. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to feel your heart so at ease over this.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, though…"

"Don't I?" he tilted his head, placing his cup on the counter and walking towards you. "Why did you bring my supposed date up then?"

Looking up at him, you were once again at a loss of words. You couldn't give him a proper answer, not without letting him know you still cared. So, you said nothing, instead shaking your head before you walked right past him and out of the kitchen.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"We're not gonna talk about it?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels as soon as you entered the living room looking for Heesung.

"There is nothing to talk about" you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

Looking around for a second, you poundered your options. Going to the couch by the corner that had a free spot would only draw attention, as you were sure Hyunjin would not give it up just because there were people around. Going to the backyard would be pretty much the same.

Your eyes went up to the main staircase and then to the second floor, and that was all it took for you to go for it.

"No?" he followed you up the stairs, reaching for your hand and pulling you back towards him as soon as you were in the hallway. "So kissing another guy right in front of me is nothing now?"

You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"

"I thought it was obvious?"

"It's not" you answered coldly, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

"Think again then".

You shook your head in defeat. "Is it because it's Heesung?"

That had seemed to catch him by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Are you mad that I kissed someone else in front of you or are you mad that it was Heesung?"

Hyunjin scoffed. "You could've kissed some complete stranger and I would've been just as hurt".

Hurt. Hurt.

He said hurt. Not mad, not annoyed, but hurt.

For the first time in a while, you felt yourself being delusional and allowing yourself to believe he did feel something for you. Something more than simple care. Something more than the selfish need to have your undivided attention all on him.

That simple use of words of his had been able to make you feel the hope you no longer thought you had by now.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin snapped you out of it. "Are you even listening to me?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating before you spoke. "I don't get you, Hyunjin".

"What is it that you don't get?"

"Why you're acting like this…"

"Because you kissed another guy" he repeated, and you could tell he was beginning to lose his temper.

"That's not—" you sighed. "Okay, so I kissed another guy. I kissed Heesung. I did. But as opposed to what, kissing you?"

Hyunjin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You're talking like I cheated on you somehow" you pointed out. "You're mad that I kissed someone who was not you, but it's not like we're kissing either?"

"Do you want us to kiss?"

It was now your turn to scoff, staring at him incredulously for a moment before you tried to walk past him once again and go down the stairs.

"Y/N, wait" he stopped you once more, holding you by your shoulders.

"You just can't be serious for shit, can you?" you snapped, shoving his hands away from you.

"I am serious!" he exclaimed. "I am serious, Y/N. I'm just so fucking conflicted right now because I literally saw you with someone else and I'm trying to win you back here—"

"Win me back?" you whispered, inaudibly to him.

"But there are so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't think straight, like, do you like him? Did you feel something when you kissed him? Does he like you? Is he a better kisser than me?"

"Hyunjin…"

"Because I don't think he could be. He isn't, right? Is he?"

"You can't just ask that" you frowned. "Why would it even matter anyway".

"It just does…"

"I don't go around asking you if all the girls you've kissed apart from me are better than me".

"You could" he shrugged.

"What?"

"You could ask me. And I'd say you in a heartbeat".

"Hyunjin—"

"You are better than them, Y/N".

"Hyunjin".

"I'm serious" he stated. "There's a reason I kissed you pretty much every time we saw each other. It's different when there are feelings involved".

You scoffed, rolling your eyes before you looked away. "Glad you could tell how head over heels I was for you".

"I'm talking about me".

You froze.

Silent, still. Eyes looking for some kind of amusement in his — anything that would hint at his words being a joke. Just one mean, fucking cruel joke.

You found nothing.

"W-What?"

"I'm talking about my feelings, not yours".

"You—No. Feelings? No, you can't do this again".

"Y/N..."

"You can't mess with my head all over again, I thought we were past this".

"We will never be past this," he denied. "Not until you listen to me and actually believe what I've been trying to tell you for a while now".

"And what is it that you've been trying to tell me now?"

Hyunjin sighed, nervously looking around and only then hitting him that the two of you had been in the hallway all along. Although it was pretty much isolated, apart from the couple in their own world a couple of meters away, he felt shy all of a sudden. Especially since anyone could walk up the stairs any minute.

"Not here" he mumbled.

Staring at his hand on yours the next second, you let him guide you through the hallway in search of an empty room the two of you could talk inside of — without other people possibly watching or even overhearing everything you had to say.

It only took opening three doors and coming across two locked ones to finally find an empty bedroom.

Walking inside, you were thankful by the fact that a small lamp remained turned on by the nightstand, providing you both with some much needed —dim— light, as you had been too busy pulling your hand out of his grasp and Hyunjin too busy closing the door behind you to bother looking for a light.

"So?" you pushed it. "Are you telling me what's going on?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Y/N. It's not easy for me".

"That's what you said last time" you reminded him. "I don't know, Hyunjin. I'm trying to be understanding here and be friends again but you keep pulling this kind of stuff and honestly by now I feel like maybe this is all about attention".

"Attention?"

You nodded. "You had never been interested in me until I started hooking up with Binnie. And now you started being all sweet to me and getting jealous all over again when I started hanging out with Heesung".

"It's not like that…"

"Then how is it like?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "Because it really does look like I'm some kind of game to you".

"You're not just a game to me, Y/N. You're so much more, I—" he exhaled shakily. "Okay, yes, I started showing interest after you and Bin hyung started hooking up, there's no denying it, but I kinda needed that to realise that I wanted to be with you".

"You didn't want to be with me, though…" you mumbled. "Not seriously, at least. That's the point".

"Yes, I did" he confessed, and you felt as if your heart had stopped for a moment. "I did, Y/N. I was just too much of an idiot to realise".

"You don't…" you sighed. "No, what are you saying?"

"I want to be with you, Y/N. For real".

Your whole body stilled and your knees went weak, needing to lean back against the door for some kind of support.

You could not believe your ears. He could not be serious, could he? He was joking. This was all some kind of mean, mean joke. It had to be. Wasn't it?

"Can you say something?" he nervously whispered.

"You don't mean that…"

"I do mean it. I had never meant anything else as much as I mean this".

"Do you realise your timing?" you recriminated him, finally snapping out of it. "Like, you do realise how much of a joke this sounds like right now, don't you?"

"Why would I be joking about something like this?"

"I don't—I don't know…" you shook your head, unconsciously taking a step back. "It does sound to me like you only want to make sure I don't get over you and move on to someone else".

"You really think that low of me?" Hyunjin questioned, eyebrows furrowing not really in offense, but hurt instead. "You genuinely believe I'm doing this out of attention?"

You remained silent, much to his dislike.

"You really think I'm doing this to keep you wrapped around my finger? Seriously, Y/N?" he questioned. "All the sweet words? All the art studio visits? All the times I try to hang out with you alone or just talk to you? All the times I've gotten so obviously jealous? You really think I'm doing it all to play with you?"

You shrugged, not daring to look him in the eye as you replied, "I don't know when it comes to you anymore…"

That had felt like a punch in the gut for him, finding himself leaning back as he took a shaky breath. "Wow…"

"I'm just saying, you did all those things before too and you didn't want a serious relationship, how am I supposed to know it's any different now?"

"Because it just is!" he threw his head back in frustration. "I wanted a relationship with you too back then but I was too stupid to realise it. I wanted to be with you at all times, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you all to myself. I didn't even care about going to someone else to hook up with but I still made myself believe I did just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I was falling for you".

"Hyunjin—"

"No, you're listening to me now" he cut you off, decided to get his point across and determined to make you hear him out. "I know the timing could not be any more shitty and that it seems like I'm doing this just because I want you to only ever have eyes for me, and yes, I do want you to only ever have eyes for me, but not for the reason you're imagining. I want you to only be into me because I too am only into you".

You snorted, incredulously rolling your eyes as you backed away and tried to reach for the doorknob. At that, Hyunjin pressed his hand against the door — his strength overpowering you and forbidding you from opening it. The way his face was now inches away from yours as he cornered you against the only exit you had, however, had been enough to keep you still and stop fighting him right away.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I am only into you?" he mumbled this time.

"I, I just—I don't," you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. "You literally said that you didn't think you'd ever be able to give me the relationship I was expecting from you, that you wanted to be free and—"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I was just being stupid?" he repeated. "What I wanted was right there in front of me and I was too much of an idiot to see it, until I eventually lost you and what we had and it hit me".

"And how do I know you won't go back to wanting to be free and sleep around after we get back together? How do I know this is what you truly want and not just you wanting what you can't have?"

"Because I have feelings for you!"

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Feelings. Feelings.

His feelings. For you.

Although he had hinted at it minutes ago when he was recriminating you for kissing Heesung, you had chosen not to believe your ears. He had not meant it like that, as far as you knew.

But now he had said it, word by word. He had looked at you straight in the eye and told you he had feelings for you. Actual romantic feelings for you. And he wanted to act on them now, as opposed to months ago when he claimed to like you one hell of a lot yet didn't feel like being in a relationship with you.

You remained frozen, quiet — scared of moving, even. Feeling like your voice would fail you the moment you opened your mouth to speak.

"You what?" you whispered, weakly.

"I have feelings for you, Y/N" Hyunjin said once again, calmer this time, yet somehow determination being clearer in his voice. "It took me way too long to realise, but there's a reason I couldn't let go of you even after you wanted nothing to do with me. There's a reason what we had was so close to an actual relationship to begin with. There's a reason I hate to see you and Heesung together now, and why it hurt so fucking much to see you kiss him that I had to physically leave the room or I would've either broken down or beaten him up right there".

"I didn't…" you took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't do it to spite you…"

"I get that, Y/N, but it fucking hurt. It fucking hurt so much, more than I could've ever imagined. I really wanted to pull you away from there and to be the one to kiss you instead. Because I do have feelings for you. And that is the exact reason why I won't go back to wanting to sleep around," he leaned in, softly resting his forehead on yours. "I only want to be with you. I mean it".

"You do?" you whispered, already feeling yourself melting under his simple touch.

"I do," he confirmed in a heartbeat. "Fuck, baby, I want to be with you so bad".

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the pet name you had not heard in so long.

"Hyunjin…" you pouted. "Don't play with me".

He took a deep, shaky breath, bringing his thumb up to trace your bottom lip. "I'm not playing," his eyes travelled back up to your eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Y/N. I don't know what else to do for you to believe I'm serious about us".

Us. Us.

You could've screamed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that your voice was failing you when you needed it the most.

You couldn't believe just how weak you were still when it came to him.

"I'm just… so confused, Hyunjin…"

He nodded understandingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to compose himself as well. "I get that it's all very confusing and hard to believe, but I'll do anything if it means you'll believe me" he whispered, gently bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I do mean it when I say I want to be with you, Y/N. Only you".

Too stunned to say anything, you nodded — gently, almost invisibly, as right then you weren't sure of anything. It was a dream, as far as you knew.

But it was a dream you didn't want to wake up from.

"Okay…" you whispered.

"Okay?" he asked, hope clear in his voice.

"You can… show me that you mean it…"

Hyunjin smiled brightly, his eyes turning into two crescent moons as he tried to process your words. "You're serious?"

"Mhm…" you softly nodded. "If you fuck up again after this… I won't be able to give you any more chances, though…"

"I won't," he promised. "I won't, I—fuck, I'm so happy" a breathy laugh escaped his mouth, making your heart flutter as you watched him try to compose himself.

You couldn't help the small smile that had curved up the corners of your lips at the sight of his own, closing your eyes when he once again rested his forehead on yours and lovingly bumped your nose.

Looking down to your mouth for a second, his uncertain eyes were back up on yours. "Would I be an asshole if I kissed you right now?"

You shook your head no, maybe a little too quickly for your own liking. As much as you had tried to deny it, to push such thoughts away, you wanted him to kiss you.

You needed to feel his plump, cloudlike lips on yours again. Right then, as you had them only a centimeter away from yours, and as you could feel his hot breath hit your mouth, you felt like you would die if you didn't get a taste of them.

Thankfully, you didn't need to reach such an extent, for Hyunjin himself felt like he would die if he didn't feel your mouth against his right at that moment, and so your shake of head was all he needed to close the small space the two of you were going insane over.

You had not forgotten how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours, but as his lips opened ever so slightly to press deeper against yours, you could only realise just how fucking much you had actually missed it.

It was needy, messy, different to every other kiss you had shared before — even during your make out sessions. Your breathings not taking long to become heavier and have you gasping for air. It almost felt like you would die the moment your lips pulled away from each other.

Having his tongue massage yours the way only he could and biting on your bottom lip like he knew it drove you crazy, you couldn't stop the small hum that escaped your mouth, feeling yourself getting drunk on the touch and taste of him.

Hyunjin smiled, hands tightening on your hips to pull you as close as he could to him, before they traced their way up your back and pressed your chest to his — letting out a heavy yet blissful sigh when you took his look for closeness one step further by tightening your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy" he mumbled against your lips, feeling you chuckle in between the kiss in response.

Air no longer seemed like a necessity, both of you being too long gone to even think of breaking the contact between your mouths. Instead, Hyunjin's hands travelled down to your lower back to pull you closer, as he had felt you move slightly away from him and he was not having it.

Missing the touch of his right hand on your lower back the next second, however, you whined, earning a breathy laugh from him against your hot mouth. That's when you heard the lock of the door twist behind you, and suddenly it made sense why his hand had abandoned the comfort of your body.

Not giving you time to react, the same hand of his you had whined about now travelled further down to the back of your thigh, pulling it up around his waist before his other hand joined and he lifted you up. You smiled in between the kiss, helping him by wrapping your legs around him as he adjusted himself in between them and held you up against the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" you teased him, barely catching your breath.

"Nothing yet" he smirked, sucking on your bottom lip.

You smiled, leaning down to trap his bottom lip in between yours and then pulling at it with a soft bite. "And what's stopping you?"

Groaning at both your words and the pressure your teeth were applying on his flesh, he went back to suck on your lip — his hot tongue tracing over it before it opened its way into your mouth and was gladly met by yours.

A small, barely audible moan escaped your mouth when your body slid slightly down and the friction against his sent a wave of pleasure to your inner thighs. So quiet, that he wouldn't have heard it had he not been kissing you right then, unintentionally muffling out that one sweet sound of yours he wanted to hear the most.

Wanting to hear more of it, he tightened his hold around your waist, so he could let one of his hands travel down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze and not letting go until he reached the king bed, where he gently laid you down on, and wasted no time to be right back on your lips.

"You're not drunk, are you?" he wondered, tenderly caressing your waist.

You shook your head no, resting a hand on his cheek. "I wasn't that into gossip to drink as many shots as everyone else".

Hyunjin chuckled, stealing a lingering kiss from you. "You won't hate me in the morning then?"

You bit your bottom lip, anticipating what was about to happen with just that simple question of his. "I won't".

"Promise?" he mumbled, slowly brushing his lips on yours.

"Promise" you smiled, pulling him down by his collar and trapping his bottom lip in between your needy ones.

Not letting go of the white fabric of his shirt, you began to slowly unbutton it down — one button at a time, slowly enough to drive him crazy.

Neither you bothered taking it off, nor did he bother removing it. You just stared, running your fingertips over the uncovered skin of his toned chest and smiling at the visible goosebumps your touch alone had provoked on him.

"Don't be a tease" he warned, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"I'm just touching you..."

"Exactly".

A small giggle escaped your mouth at his answer, feeling him smile against your skin before he placed an open mouth kiss to it. And then another. And another. Sucking on your flesh in such a way you would be surprised if you didn't walk out of there without a purple mark on it.

Just as his hand was placed on your waist to keep you in place and your breathing became heavier, his kisses began moving down to your chest, leaving a trail of them all the way from your neck to your shoulder, where he stopped for a moment to pull down the sleeve of your dress so he could press a wet kiss directly to your skin. He then moved to your collarbone, loving the way he could already feel your chest heavily move up and down before he could even get to it.

And then he moved down to your cleavage.

Holding the first button of your dress in between his fingers, he looked up at you, asking for permission before carrying on. At a loss of words, you nodded, feeling your body heat up when he undid the first one and moved onto the second one — and so on until he stopped right above your belly button.

He couldn't help but admire you, not needing to undo any more buttons right then as he had you lying down with nothing but a black bralette covering your chest. Leaning down to plant a kiss to your addictive mouth, he couldn't help his hand from grabbing one of your breasts, feeling himself grow hard at the sound of the small gasp you had just let out against his lips.

Using his knee to pull your legs apart, he lied in between them, slowly thrusting against your core as he squeezed your breast once again. This time, you couldn't help the moan that had slipped right past your lips, as you felt him hard against the one place where you needed him the most.

Hyunjin smirked, kissing you harder and muffling out another moan of yours after he thrusted once more, harder as well.

"Fuck, baby" he breathed out. "You're driving me crazy".

"I should be the one saying that…" you confessed.

He chuckled, leaning down to devour your mouth like his life depended on it. Letting go after what felt like too short of a time for your liking, he went back down to your chest and bagan peppering a few kisses on the uncovered skin. A small groan left his throat when his kisses moved further down and his lips were met no longer by the softness of your naked body, but with the fabric of your bralette instead.

Barely detaching his mouth from the spot he had been teasing, he pulled your bra down to uncover one of your breasts and wasted no time to wrap his mouth around your nipple. It hardened at the first touch of his, feeling him smile against your flesh right before he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud.

Your breathing became heavier, chest tremblingly moving up and down as he continued his ministrations — bringing one of your hands to your unattended breast so you could touch yourself. Only Hyunjin didn't let you, grabbing your fingers right as they grazed over your bra and pulling your hand down on the mattress.

"I'm the one touching you, baby" he gazed up at you, just like that having you obey him.

Without another word, he pulled the remaining cup down as well to release your other breast and give it the attention you had silently been begging for, not forgetting about the one he had been sucking on previously, as he gave it a slow squeeze before he pinched your already sensitive nipple.

You writhed underneath him, lifting your hips up to rub against his erection and get some of the friction you so desperately needed. Hyunjin didn't fight it, instead pressing a hand down on your waist to keep you still as he grinded on you just the way you wanted him to.

"Hyunjin… fuck".

Grinning against your chest, he let go of your now over-sensitive bud and traced his fingertips all the way down to your thighs instead. He teasingly rubbed his thumb right beside your inner thigh, without really touching you where you were desperate for him to touch you.

When a pretty whine of yours reached his ears not even three seconds later, however, he decided to stop your torture. Gently palming your core over your panties, he felt himself grow harder over how much more wet than he had expected you actually were.

"Fuck," he groaned, running two of his fingers up and down your slit over the damp fabric. "Can't wait to be buried deep inside you".

You whined under your breath, that thought alone having you trying to squeeze your legs together, in desperate need to release the sudden itch in between them. Noticing this, as you had failed ever so miserably given that he was in between your legs, stopping you from pulling them back together, Hyunjin took it upon himself.

Leaning down to crash his mouth on yours, parting your lips with his tongue as he searched for the touch of yours, he pulled your panties aside, earning a melodic whimper from you the moment those same fingers than had been touching you over the thin fabric before were now running up and down your wet folds.

"Hyunjin," you breathed out when he stopped right at your entrance and toyed with it, pushing one of his fingers inside you. "Hm—fuck, Hyunjin, don't tease…"

He chuckled, biting your lip before he pulled you into another kiss — curling his finger up as he softly pistoned inside your walls. "But I wanna take my time…"

"Please," you begged, feeling yourself clenching around his finger. "No teasing tonight, I just need you inside me".

"No teasing tonight?" he pulled away from your mouth and removed a strand of hair from off your face with his free hand. "You're saying there will be another time?"

You didn't reply, feeling the heat reach your face as the implication of your own words had just hit you. Hyunjin laughed breathily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"Okay then, no teasing tonight" he gave in, removing his finger from you and having you whimper over the sudden emptiness. "But I still need to make sure you're wet enough".

"I'm already wet enough" you whispered.

He smiled against your lips. Fuck, he swore right then you could not look any hotter, and he could not be any harder.

"You think so?" he mumbled against your lips.

"Yes," you blurted out in a heartbeat. "Please, Hyunjin, just fuck me".

"Fuck, you're so hot" he breathed out, earning a breathy, contented laugh from you that was followed with a short kiss to his mouth. "You're on the pill, right?"

"You didn't bring a…"

He shook his head no, and you could feel him begin to panic. "You're not?"

"I am, it's okay," you reassured him with a kiss, gently brushing his hair back. "I just thought you'd at least carry one around at a party".

"I only came here for you tonight, and I wasn't being this optimistic".

"Mm… maybe we should stop right here then, to keep things closer to your expectations".

"Don't you dare" he warned you.

You chuckled, trapping his bottom lip back in between your mouth and bringing your hand down to his pants, palming his bulge over the black fabric and feeling yourself grow needier as a muffled moan came out of his mouth at the sudden pressure.

You had said no teasing, though. So, following your own words, you palmed him one last time before your hand moved up to pull the zip down. Not giving him much time to take in your actions, you took a hold of his hardened member and pulled it out of his underwear.

"Fuck," he growled, already feeling oh-so-sensitive under your touch as you began to move your hand up and down around his length. "You said no teasing".

"I'm not teasing," you breathed out with a small laugh. "But you can't fuck me with it still inside your pants, can you?"

Hyunjin's mouth crashed against yours. "You're gonna be the end of me, for fuck's sake".

Sitting up on the bed, he pulled his pants down to his knees, then taking a hold of your thighs and pulling you closer to him, making a rush of heat run through your whole body and up to your face when he removed your panties completely — even more when you caught his hungry eyes staring.

"Hyunjin..." you called his name when he could not stop himself from touching you.

As if snapping out of a trance, he fixed his eyes on yours, allowing the curves of his lips to curve up as he leaned back down to hover your body. "You're so hot, how am I not supposed to—"

He was shut up by your mouth on his, muffling the following moan of his that ran past his lips when you took a hold of his cock once more and pumped it up and down. Cursing under his breath, he took over your touch when you guided him to your cunt, grabbing his length and slowly rubbing his tip against your slit.

"You sure you want this?" he looked you in the eye.

You quickly nodded, digging your hands under his open shirt and tracing your way to his back as you had suddenly forgotten how to speak.

"Words, baby" he nuzzled your neck.

"You just wanna hear me beg" you complained, feeling your heart race at the sound of his soft laugh.

"Tell me" he pushed it, aligning himself with your entrance. "I'm not fucking you until you tell me".

"Please, Jinnie" you whined.

"Please what, baby?"

"Please, fuck me" your voice could only turn him on more. "Please".

Hushing your pleas with a tender kiss, he held harder onto your waist, keeping you still as he was finally done with the teasing and slowly pushed into you.

"Fuck," he groaned into your mouth, as soon as his tip had slid past your wet walls. "Fuck, you feel so good".

All you could do in return was breathe out heavily, getting lost in the feel of every inch of his stretching their way inside you, rubbing your walls in all the right places as he bottomed out.

Rolling your hips up to meet his as you could only want and need more of him, you got a groan out of him, running your fingers down to his lower back and hinting at him to start moving.

You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan from coming out when he complied with your wishes — pulling back and stopping right before the tip of his cock could slip out, to then push all the way back in.

"Oh, my—" you gasped, placing your palms on his waist.

"Feels good?" he asked against your open mouth, pressing his lips to it after you had hummed in content. "Tell me, baby" his hips slammed on yours, making you whimper. "How do you like it?"

"Just like that" you whined, digging your nails on his flesh as his thrusts had become harder. "Fuck, Hyunjin, just like that".

"Yeah?" he smirked, pressing his mouth to the corner of yours.

"Hmm… feels so good".

That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

Smiling against your mouth as another moan abandoned it after one particular thrust of his, he pressed one last kiss to it before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, allowing himself to let out a groan when you once again rolled your hips against his and caused him to reach deeper inside you.

Chest pressing flat on yours, he grabbed hard on your thigh, removing it from around his waist and pushing it down against your ribcage. The new angle had you moaning and your walls clenching around his cock in a heartbeat.

"Y/N, fuck" Hyunjin whined, going up to rest his forehead on yours. "You feel so fucking good".

You trapped his bottom lip in between yours, entangling one of your hands in the black locks at the back of his head and pulling at them ever so lightly, just enough to turn him on even more than he already was and to get a raspy moan out of him — taking the gap in his lips to your advantage by sticking your tongue in it and being met with his responsive one.

Letting go of your thigh, he rested his hand on your ribcage, right under the curve of your breast, pulling away from the comfort of your chest so he could take a proper look at you and the way your body moved with every thrust of his.

"You're so hot," he groaned, rubbing his thumb over your hardened nipple. "So fucking beautiful..."

Throwing your head back at the pleasure, feeling your legs grow weaker by the second, you allowed a moan of his name to slip past your throat. That only had him leaning back down to crash his mouth on yours and grind deeper on you — harder, faster.

The sound of your hot flesh slamming against one another over and over filled the room, to the point you were thankful by the loud music that was playing downstairs and helped this bedroom become as soundproof as it could be.

Your walls clenched around him once more, as his cock had finally reached your most sensitive spot and the friction of his pelvis on your clit was starting to become too much, in the most delicious of ways.

"F—uck," he let out a shaky breath. "If you keep doing that I don't think I'll last for too long".

You bit your lip, feeling almost ashamed as you could hardly speak. "I'm not lasting… much longer…"

Because it was all too much. All the time you have had feelings for him, all the months you hadn't been intimate with anyone, the way he had managed to know just the way you liked it the first time around, the way his cock was rubbing against the one spot that could make you see stars in a matter of seconds.

The way it was him.

Everything was too much, and you were afraid it would be over sooner than you wanted it to.

Hyunjin's eyes softened, and a sweet smile curved up his lips — leaning down to kiss you gently this time. Cupping your face with his hand, he drew tender circles on your chin with his thumb.

"Cum for me, then" he mumbled against your mouth, bringing his hand down to your clit.

"Hyunjin," you gasped when his thumb rubbed on it. "Fuck, I don't—"

"Hm, baby?" he asked, thrusting into you. "You don't, what?"

"I don't wanna cum yet" you choked out.

He chuckled, feeling your body tremble underneath him. "Your body says otherwise…"

"Hyunjin, ple—fuck," you cried, palms pressing against his abdomen when he pounded into you. "Please, it feels too good".

"I know, baby…" he hushed you, not letting go of the pace he had set that was driving you over the edge. "You're driving me crazy over here, too".

Hearing the way his voice had halted, you could tell he was close, too. So, pushing your own needs aside, you began to roll your hips and meet each of his thrusts halfway all over again — no longer caring about coming undone right then and there, as long as you helped him find his own release.

"Y/N—oh, fuck" he moaned, heavy breathing mixing with yours as he let his forehead rest on yours.

"Hyunjin, I'm coming" you whimpered, feeling your back arching and your legs beginning to shake. "Oh, God, I'm—"

He pressed a kiss to your mouth, removing his hand from your clit and pushing your thigh back against your chest so he could slam harder into you — deeper.

"Let go, baby" he whispered, feeling his own orgasm approaching. "Cum for me, hm? Be a good girl to me…"

With one last thrust of his and with those last words being said, you couldn't hold back anymore — toes curling, legs shaking and nails scratching his back, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck and let out a cry.

Hyunjin couldn't hold back a moan at the mere sight of you shaking and coming undone under him. "Holy fuck, you're so perfect" he breathed out, holding onto your waist to keep you in place as he helped you ride through your orgasm.

Letting your head fall back down against the pillow, you looked down to the place where your hips met. Amazed by the way his cock appeared and disappeared inside you, you placed your hands on his lower back to help him reach his climax while you were still going through yours — throwing your head back against the pillow when his cock kept on hitting your most sensitive spot.

Just like he had warned you, your walls clenching around his cock would be what ended up sending him to the edge.

"Y/N, holy—" his words got caught in his throat, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he slammed into you once more.

One last curse abandoned his lips, and suddenly you were feeling his damp chest pressing on yours and his warm release being spread inside you.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Heavy breathings mixing together, Hyunjin leaned in to steal another kiss from your swollen mouth, not being able to stop a giggle from escaping his own and lovingly bumping his nose on yours, before pressing his lips to yours one more time.

"Fuck, I needed you" he exhaled, kissing you again. "So much".

You chuckled, gently entangling your fingers in his slightly sweaty hair and pulling him into another kiss. "I needed you, too".

Hyunjin's smile turned bigger, brighter, and you once again felt like you were in a dream when he cupped your cheek and tenderly caressed your skin. He looked at you like you were holding the stars in the sky, and for a second there you grew afraid — afraid of having let your walls down, more than you ever had before, to the point your mind was now making up the feelings behind his eyes to compensate for the love you still felt for him.

All your worries were quickly shut down when he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, then another to your forehead, and then one to your cheek, before he let his bodyweight fall on you, burying his face in the valley of your breasts as his arms snuck around your waist and pulled you closer than you'd ever been to him.

"You're heavy" you whined, with the exclusive intention of annoying him.

He didn't even budge. "You can take it for a couple of minutes".

Allowing the corners of your mouth to curve up into a smile, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his chest move up and down as he sighed contentedly. He had missed you playing with his hair. And you had missed feeling him melt into a puddle under your loving touch.

It was ironical, how that same day you had been beating yourself up over having flirted with him like you used to, even after everything that had gone down between the two of you and how hard you were trying to get over him, yet here you were right now, with your dress doing little to nothing to cover you up as Hyunjin lied on top of you — face buried in your chest as he tenderly caressed your hip under the black fabric of your dress he had previously pulled up to your waist, and your breathings synchronized as the two of you had finally managed to fully come down from your highs.

As ironic as it sounded, though, there was a difference between your flirting earlier that day and the intimacy you had just shared: You didn't know he had feelings for you before.

The main reason why you had beaten yourself up over having slipped up and flirted back with him was because you felt delusional. And how could you not? He knew you had feelings for him all along, you knew they were one sided, and you still had managed to make a fool of yourself by giving him just what he wanted. You had found yourself falling in his game all over again.

Only it was not a game to him. Now you knew.

A voice at the very back of your head told you that you should be ashamed, that you had given in too easily, but you couldn't find it in you to feel anything other than peace right then.

You had missed him. You had needed him, more than you could have ever imagined.

You had tried to get over him, you had really tried. But having him tell you all that, when a part of you still felt so strongly about him, had managed to make it all come back — every single feeling you had managed to push away. Just like that.

And maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you, or simply your love for him, that made you want to believe with everything in you that this time would be different.

You wanted, begged, to believe that this time around your heart wouldn't be shattered into one million pieces.

He had said he only wanted you, that he had feelings for you. Whether said feelings were love or he was just slowly beginning to get there, you wanted to believe they were true.

After all, he had said he would do anything for you to believe him. You were truly counting on that.

"Did you mean it?" you wondered, voice soft as ever.

"I meant everything I said".

You giggled, feeling his heart race up as you shook your head. "No… I'm talking about what you said about having come here just because of me…" you specified. "Was it true? Or were you just trying to make me melt?"

"I made you melt?" he looked up with a smirk, both proudly and teasingly.

"Don't" you whined, earning a giggle from him.

"I was serious, you can ask Changbin hyung if you want".

"What does he have to do with it?"

"I told you, his date was the one who let me in here. I had to beg him to ask her".

"That deep?" you taunted him.

"Laugh all you want," he dared you, going up to press a small kiss to your chin and then hover your lips. "Coming here was the best decision I could've made".

Not fighting the smile that had just curved up your mouth, you met his lips midway into a loving kiss. One that slowly turned into one peck after another, getting a blissful giggle from you as Hyunjin could not find it in him to entirely pull away just yet.

Once he felt like your lips had touched a fair enough amount of times to make him the happiest, he rested his head back on your chest, gently bumping his nose against your neck before he buried his face in the crook of it. Your arms didn't wait to wrap around him, holding him close to you as you found comfort in his naked chest moving up and down against yours with every breath you took.

The little utopia the two of you had built was disrupted the next minute, when a sudden turn of the doorknob had your heads snapping in its direction.

"Fuck" you whispered, trying to get up but having no success at it, thanks to Hyunjin's body on top of you. "Jinnie, get up".

He whined, only burying his face back in your chest. "They can go get another room".

"Hyunjin!" you whisper-shouted this time, hearing the doorknob unsuccessfully twist again.

"What, I'm serious" his embrace around you tightened. "This is my Y/N time, whoever they are they can fuck off".

As if on cue, the turning ceased. And you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of the smile that had just taken over Hyunjin's face.

"Y/N time?" you mockingly questioned.

He nodded, no sign of his smile being erased anytime soon. "I said what I said".

You laughed under your breath, placing your palms against his shoulders so you could push him up and off you — only managing to make him look at you so far. "We have to leave".

He pouted. "So soon?"

You nodded. "We're literally in the middle of a party, anyone could walk in".

"The door is literally locked".

"What if Yurim comes".

He shrugged. "It's gonna be locked anyway. Plus, I heard she doesn't really mind having couples do their thing in here".

You rolled your eyes, both in amusement and disbelief. "You're a liar".

"I'm not!" he reassured you, yet the laugh that had followed his words was not very convincing of him.

"Mhm… if you say so" you teased him.

Leaning in to steal a kiss from him before he could fight back like you knew he would, you took advantage of the way he was too busy deepening the kiss and grabbed the hem of his shirt, swiftly buttoning it up until his chest was covered.

"Let's get dressed" you mumbled against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them.

Hyunjin sighed, definitely not wanting to leave you, nor this moment, anytime soon, yet not even dreaming of pushing your limits any further. Just having you this way right now, having had you as intimately as he had done minutes ago, was more, so much more, than he could ever have asked for.

Adjusting his pants and poorly fixing his shirt, he rushed to help you out. Your hands were already pulling down your dress so it would cover your thighs, so he focused on your chest, fixing your bralette first and then carefully —not to say reluctantly— buttoning your dress up. Lastly, he moved on to help you reach for your panties on the other end of the bed so you could put them on.

Once you were all done, he offered his hand to help you sit up just as he did.

"One of us should leave first…" you mumbled.

He nodded, quietly running his fingers through your hair to fix its messiness. "You can go first. I'll stay here and make the bed look presentable again".

You bit your bottom lip, feeling your face burn as you seemed to only then have been hit with what the two of you had just done. Nevertheless, you nodded, standing up and running your hands down your dress in hopes to make it look just as straightened as it was when you arrived.

"Okay, um… I'll see you around?" you tilted your head rather awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye now.

Letting out a chuckle, Hyunjin stood up as well and walked over to you — confidently pulling you in by your waist, so that your body was once again pressed to his and his mouth could brush over yours. "If you think I'm not texting you first thing tomorrow then you've got a whole other thing coming to you".

As much as his words had made you shy, you couldn't control yourself when it came to pulling him into a kiss by his collar.

Hyunjin kissed you back in a heartbeat, a smile curving up his lips as both hands cupped your face to stop you from pulling away just yet.

"Actually, I'm calling you later tonight to see if you got home safe" he let you know as he caught his breath, going in for another brief kiss. "Or maybe I should take you home instead".

"We're not having a second round" you warned him.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath. "No, it's not…" he shook his head, opening his eyes to meet your awaiting ones. "I meant your home, as in, dropping you off at your dorm. Although I wouldn't mind taking you back to mine with me".

You amusedly rolled your eyes, doing a pretty poor job at hiding just how hard your face was burning up at his words. "You're not taking me to either" you remarked, having him sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I need to go look for Nana, we came here together, so…"

He nodded every so softly — not being able to hide the drop in his mood. "Can I ask you to, like… do... or not do something for me?"

"What is it?" you wondered.

"Don't go back home with him? Or with anyone else for that matter?"

"You mean, going home as in…"

"As in the way you accused me of wanting to take you home" he smiled softly.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for another round with anyone else either after what happened between us" you joked.

"Shut up," he half whined, half laughed, resting his forehead on yours. "You know what I mean".

You smiled, leaning in to kiss his pout away. "I won't".

"Good" he smiled, too, stealing another kiss from you.

"But, Jinnie, you know…" you sighed, trying to look for the right words. "You know this doesn't mean everything is magically, one hundred percent okay between us… don't you? I mean, we did just—but, we're not…"

He nodded, with that simple act of his letting you know he understood. "I know. I have to show you I mean everything I said…" his hands softly traced their way down your arms, until they reached your hands. "But it's a start, right?"

You smiled, looking down at your hands as your fingers interlocked with his. "Mhm… I guess it is".

"I'll be better, I promise" his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. "I'm done being scared of commitment".

"I'm not trying to push you, though…" you mumbled. "I mean, I wasn't trying… if you're still having doubts—"

"I'm not".

"Don't feel like you need to stay, because if you end up changing your mind later on—"

He shut you up with a lingering kiss. "There's no changing my mind this time".

"I get that it can be pretty scary…"

"Not when it comes to you anymore".

Speechless, you stared into his genuine, determined eyes for a moment, while you tried to take every word of his in. Once you did, you showed him you appreciated his efforts by gently pressing your mouth to his for what could easily be the hundredth time that night.

"Please don't change your mind tomorrow…" you pleaded, failing at trying to hide just how heartbreaking that mere thought was to you.

"I'd be damned to" he whispered, sweetly yet reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm actually scared you'll change your mind tomorrow".

"I won't" you reassured him in a heartbeat.

"I won't either," he repeated. "So I guess you're stuck with me now".

"I'm not opposed to that…" you shyly chuckled, having his lips back on yours in a second.

Feeling his hands abandon yours to be placed on your waist instead, knowing all too well that was his way to deepen the kiss, you found yourself resting your palms on his chest to try and push him away before things began to escalate all over again.

"I should really leave now…" you announced, clumsily walking backwards towards the door as he followed without letting go.

"Just one more" he mumbled against your lips, sucking on your bottom one and bringing his other hand to your nape, to prevent you from pulling away just yet.

"Hyunjin…" you warned him with a smile.

"Okay, okay" he stole one last kiss. "I'm done".

"God, who would've thought you'd be so clingy" you pointed out in feigned annoyance, earning a proud smirk from him.

"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, baby".

Rolling your eyes at him, you reached for the doorknob, unlocking it before you finally were able to make your way out of the bedroom — not without first having warned him about not even daring to come out of there right after you did.

Although he would've loved to do just that and have everyone at the party know the two of you were together, he followed your wishes, only walking up to the door once you were out of there so he could lock it back. So that no one would accidentally find out he had, too, been in there all along.

Turning around and walking towards the bed, he was met with the mess you had made on it together, and he couldn't help the smile that parted his lips as the memories flooded his mind.

He knew sex was great, that was pretty much the main reason he liked being single so much — being able to sleep around with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But fuck, no one had ever told him just how much, much better it felt when it was with the one person you had feelings for.

It had never felt as good as it did with you.

It had never made him want to stay before. Stay all night if possible, like he had wished to stay with you — hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, caressing you.

And that could only reassure him of his feelings for you. If anything, he was now realising they seemed to be way stronger than he had thought.

Covering his eyes, he slumped down on his back as a small giggle escaped his mouth. He was aware that he looked like a mad man right then, but the ghost of your lips on his and your hot skin against his was more than enough for him not to care about it and, instead, allow himself to get lost in the fresh memories of you.

He was the happiest he had ever been, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. To show you he had meant every single word that had come out of his mouth that night.

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twipsai · 2 months

Text

its finally done! happy wsatw everyone <333

word count: 1,817

At 10:39 PM on Saturday, every single person anywhere on either coasts of the continent, and people looking to cross either border of the United Federation, felt a harsh gust of wind.

Commotion ensued, but Sonic, of course, didn’t stick around to see it. When he arrived back at Emerald Coast, he cut back into the city and zoomed past cars cruising along Speed Highway. He ran in front of a few of them, daring them to hit him before swooping away at the last second. Before the fifth exit whizzed by, Sonic bounced over the guardrail and took off through the bare-bones forested area, hopping up and jumping from rooftop to rooftop before he hit the ground running. He passed through lots more cramped neighborhoods on the outskirts of Central City until he made it to the Night Babylon district, where he ran up the side of some random building, speeding up to the top—

And tripped.

And fell.

He just laid there for a moment, before flipping himself over as rapid, shallow breaths racked his body.

Running didn't get tiring. Not normal running, anyway— when he had food in his stomach, water in his blood, and eight hours of sleep.

In the moment, though, with his limbs sore and shaking, he thought this must be like how it felt if the average person ran just a hundred miles. Or maybe even only ninety.

The world kept spinning. It always did, and it wouldn't wait for him to get over whatever funk he was in. He hit his fist dully on the concrete ground.

He should go back to Mystic Ruins. To make sure Tails was okay, of course. Not to sleep or eat or anything, really. Then he would go back to running— patrolling. He was patrolling to make sure no one was causing trouble while everyone else rested. Of course. He pushed himself up.

Sonic didn't cry that day. Not once. Because if the only person who saw him cry was dead now, then no one had any proof.

And now, running back to his little brother's workshop, he could chalk the tears in his eyes up to the wind beating at his face.

The trip was just a bit slower than it probably would have been normally. It was like his body was protesting against moving his legs, one after the other. He almost collapsed on the porch once he reached it when a wave of exhaustion hit him upon seeing the home, but pushed through the door and shoved himself up the stairs. A chill shuttered through his body, forcing him to realize just how cold he was now that he was inside, and he made a quick pitstop in his room to yank his comforter off the bed and bundle himself in it.

Tails’ room was just down the hall, but he already knew the kit wasn’t in there. For one, the door was open, and Tails hates it when his door’s open. And for two, his self-imposed bed time when he thought Sonic wasn’t around was around three in the morning (but, more recently, it had started stretching to four). So, he begrudgingly hauled himself back down the stairs and through the Tornado’s hangar, giving her a pat on the wing for good luck, and arriving at Tails’ workshop door. A strange sweet smell emanated from the room.

He gently pushed open the door, the sweet and somewhat nostalgic smell becoming stronger. The moment he stepped through the door, Tails’ ear flicked, and he spun his chair around, yipping in surprise. “Sonic! You’re back!” His face then morphed into a bright smile as he waved him over and spun back to continue his work.

The plan was to just check in for a bit, maybe send his brother to bed, but now… Well, maybe he’d rest for a bit. Just a bit. He leaned over Tails’ shoulder. “For a bit, yeah. What’s that smell?”

“Oh, uh, blowtorch s’mores.”

“Huh?”

Tails held up a stick with a jumbo marshmallow at the end and a blowtorch. It was only then that Sonic noticed the graham crackers and chocolate bars where mechanic tools should’ve been on the workbench. “Blowtorch s’mores,” he repeated.

“Uh, yeah, I heard you, heh. What’s the occasion?” Sonic hopped up and sat on the workbench, blanket draping over the corner and barely touching the ground.

“Science.”

“Okayyyyy… Can I have one?”

“Sure! Here—” he picked up a second blowtorch that was haphazardly thrown under the table— “just click that button and it'll turn on, and release it to turn it off.”

Sonic yoinked a marshmallow from the package and stuck it on the end of one of the roasting sticks Tails had rested on the side of his workbench. “Ssso, whatcha—” He got cut off by his own throat spurring into a coughing fit. Turns out 24 hours without a drop of water in his system did some real shitty things. Tails immediately shoved a water bottle into his free hand that was about to pick up the blowtorch; he downed the bottle in all of 3 seconds and mumbled a quick ‘thanks’, wiping his mouth. “Whatcha been working on?” he finished.

“Well, before I got distracted by this,” Tails set his perfectly toasted marshmallow aside and turned to the graham crackers splayed out, lightly melting the chocolate laid out on top. “I was fixing up the Cyclone! She got really damaged yesterday…”

“Oof. How bad?”

“Not too bad, I think I did a pretty good job back there,” Tails said with a smug grin. Sonic mentally cheered him on. “But I have to fix up and replace a lot of her casing that got too dented to be safe. And some quick repairs to her engine, ‘cuz Eggman kinda busted it up with his bullets…”

“Wait, what? When did Eggman shoot at you?” He put the blowtorch to the marshmallow, letting the flame consume it until it lit up the entire room, burning so bright the fire’s image was seared into his eyelids.

He knew he didn’t have enough power to save him and fly the both of them back to the ARK. Had he succeeded in grabbing hold of Shadow, they both would’ve died that day. He reached out anyway.

“Maria, this is what you wanted, right? This is my promise I made to you…”

As his hand was waved away, his fingers accidentally curled around the golden bracelet. It snapped off.

The last glimmer of white faded from his fur, and he fell.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and clutched the bracelet close to his chest.

Sonic blew out the flame once it had charred the outside of the marshmallow.

“Yeah, after he tried to blow you up.”

“And did you show him what for…?”

“Hehe, maybeee…”

“Hell yeah!” He set down the blowtorch and ruffled the kit’s bangs as he constructed his s’more. “That’s how I know I raised you right!”

“Pffft— Sonic, stoppp!”

“Okay, okay,” he let up and took out his own crackers and chocolate, smushing the ingredients together and taking a big bite. Gaia, he hadn’t realized how hungry he was… “But,” he said through a mouthful of sugar gunk, “I’m still proud of you, little bro.”

“R– Right! Thank you!”

Sonic practically scarfed down his s’more and went in for another one. “But the Cyclone’s gonna be okay, right?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! She’ll be okay, but I might take it easy on her for a little while… Those chaos drives got me thinking maybe I put a little too much focus on offense? I mean, it’s mostly for fighting, but if I took out the extra propulsions for rockets and slimmed down the auto-aimer, I could make some more room to add a holo-shield, plus I’d have even more room if I used just one chaos drive to power my ammo rather than what I have in there now!”

Tails rambled on, his explanations becoming more and more weird and sciency with terms spliced in that Sonic had no hope of understanding. A fond smile made its way on his face as he burnt his second marshmallow, looking at the kit.

“—But I think I can make it work! If I rework the leg hydraulics to be lighter, then the rocket boost can—”

“You know I love you, right, little bro?”

Tails stopped, half his s’more in his hand. “...Huh?”

“I said—”

“I heard you. Of course I know, hehe… I love you too, big bro!” Tails bonked his head against Sonic’s arm.

“Heh, just checking.” It was no use to dwell too much. His entire body ached with grief, but if he let it drown everything around him out, he’d never hear the wind when it called to him with the promise of adventure.

It hurt so much, but he had to keep going. For his own sake, of course, but…

But also because Shadow, in his brief time on Earth, didn’t get that kind of freedom. So he’d live for him, if that’s what it took to get him out of this weird funk.

“Hey, how about we hit up the Station Square Diner in the morning? My treat!”

Tails’ eyes lit up. Maybe not at the prospect of the food, but more likely at the suggestion to hang out. “Yeah, that sounds awesome!” Tails finished his first s’more, while Sonic finished eating his second.

“Then it’s settled! C’mon, let’s head to bed now so we can beat the morning rush tomorrow,” Sonic said, standing up and stretching with his comforter’s edge balled up in his fists.

“Aw, but I wanted to work on the Cyclone—”

“Nope! Sorry, but you’re under contractual obligation now, Mister Prower!”

“That’s not how contracts work— eek!”

Sonic grabbed him and bundled the two of them in the comforter, carrying the kit awkwardly on his hip as he struggled. “That’s why you gotta read the fine print, heh.”

“Stoooop! Let me gooo!”

“Nope! It’s sleepy time for geniuses and speedsters!” Sonic dragged both his aching body and the kit’s struggling one up the stairs to the house part of the lab and flopped down on the couch.

“Sonic?”

“Tails?”

“Are we sleeping on the couch tonight?”

“If you don’t mind, then yeah.”

“Hehe, I don’t mind. It reminds me of when we’d sleep outside.”

“Oh?”

Tails shifted so he wasn’t awkwardly pressed against the back of the couch. “Yeah, that’s why I was making s’mores, too. ‘Cuz, u– um. I kinda missed you just a little bit today…”

A small laugh managed to slip out of him. “Aw, bud… maybe I should give phones another try so we can talk while I’m on the go.”

Tails yawned. “That’d be nice…”

Sonic adjusted to make sure his neck wouldn’t hurt like hell in the morning. “G’night, little bro.”

“Good night, big bro.”

#i usually dont put fics in posts themselves but idk im trying a new formatting! eh idk #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic adventure 2 #sonic fic #sonic fanfiction #sonic fanfic #unbreakable bond #wsatw #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #wstw

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dfortrafalgar · 5 months

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I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.

Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.

Chapter 25

[Prev] [Next]

The shock did not go away. If anything, it packed its bags and moved into your home.

You stood in front of the mirror in your bathroom dressed in only your bra and underwear. Law stood behind you, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. The air in the room was stifling as you gazed at the bump that had already started showing in your belly.

You had an approximate due date. May 22nd.

You were officially, according to your implantation date and calculations done by Robin, on your ninth week of pregnancy. Your hCG levels in each blood test had increased as expected, and your babies had heartbeats.

Your babies. Plural.

Your symptoms were exacerbated by the fact that you had not one, but two embryos inside you. Breast tenderness, backaches, nausea, dizziness, the whole nine yards.

Though, if you were being fair to yourself, your dizziness could easily have been a side effect of being labeled as ‘extremely high risk.’ Due to your history, and now due to being pregnant with multiples, you were given strict instructions to be much more present at your doctor’s office. You were given prenatal vitamins to begin taking daily every single morning. You were given foods to avoid in order to lower your risk of developing gestational diabetes. You were also given foods more encouraged to eat. Raise your blood iron. Raise your sodium, but not too much. Eat an increase of around 1000 calories a day to support the growth of two placentas and two babies. Watch out for spotting, bleeding, pelvic pain, irregular bowel movements. Watch out for headaches and weight gain or discolored urine, you might die. Keep an eye on your mental health, what stresses you, stresses the babies. But mostly, be excited!

Yeah, right.

Your hand traced the small bump in your belly.

“You know…” you began, making Law perk his head up to listen to you. “I always thought that seeing a baby bump would be the most exciting moment of my life… but I’ve never been more scared. Ever.”

Law approached you from behind, wrapping his hands around your bare waist and resting his chin on the crown of your head. His scent enveloped you like a blanket, instantly warming your skin and calming your heightened nerves. One of his hands traveled down the skin of your abdomen, resting on top of where yours lay above your uterus.

“I can’t lie to you… I am, too,” he added, his voice heavy with thought.

“Am I a bad person for not being excited?” you asked, your voice surprisingly stable despite the racing heart in your chest. “I mean, I am excited. So far their hearts are still beating… but…”

“You’re not a bad person at all,” replied your husband, planting a kiss to the back of your head. “It’s perfectly rational that you feel scared.”

“Terrified…” you clarified for the both of you. “I feel terrified.”

You and Law made eye contact in the mirror. The way he had his arms wrapped around you reminded you of a security blanket given to trauma victims in an ambulance. The thought made a wry smile break out onto your lips, making your husband cock an eyebrow.

“What’s got you smiling all of a sudden?” he asked with a slight upward turn to the corner of his mouth.

You mustered out a dry chuckle. “You’re my trauma victim security blanket.”

The randomness of your sentence made Law’s shoulders bounce slightly as he laughed, holding you closer to him. “I know it’s really hard for you to do so, but I think we should both try as hard as we can to think positively. It’ll probably be healthier for you.”

You looked up at him, a smirk dancing over your face. “That sounds crazy coming from you.”

You yelped in surprise as Law scooped you into his arms and carried you to your shared bedroom before plopping you down on your mattress, him sprawling out beside you. “What was that for?”

“So you wouldn’t stress yourself out in the mirror,” he replied, his voice hoarse yet tender as he stared at you from his pillow. “I’m being serious, though. I know the stakes are high, but there’s gotta be things we can think about to prevent you from getting stressed.”

You turned your body to lay on your back, lacing your hand with his as you stared at your ceiling. “Any examples?”

Law hummed in thought, glancing around the room. His eyes landed on your framed, signed Sora poster. The frame had a very small crack in it from being moved out of your sophomore year dorm room, but the poster inside was still in perfect condition. “Think about our kids watching Sora. Maybe we can dress them up as Sora and Stealth Black for Halloween.”

The tender thought almost immediately made you smile. Your mind flooded with even more thoughts of Law as a dad, tailoring Halloween costumes for his kids and making them feel perfect. Your thoughts of Law with one baby had now evolved into thoughts of him with two, rocking two armfuls of swaddled infants to sleep, kissing their little foreheads, pushing them in a double stroller. Your eyes began to well with tears which you quickly blinked away, choosing instead to push yourself up and roll over, hooking one of your legs in between Law’s and laying across his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, tracing invisible patterns into the skin of your back.

“I get really happy thinking about you as a dad,” you sighed. “You’re gonna be so amazing.”

Law chuckled, his chest rumbling. “That’s the kind of positivity I’m talking about.”

You giggled. “I mean it, though. Remember before we got married and you said you were so scared to have kids one day? Because you didn’t want them to go through what we had?”

His face fell slightly, recalling the memory. He was still in the middle of his residency program, and you were jumping job to job with random, unstable freelance gigs. It wasn’t the instability of your lives that made him weary, however. Rather, it was the looming anxiety that everything good in Law’s life would someday be snatched away from him. And that had happened to you, twice.

But when he stepped back and thought about the broader picture, it got easier for him to see clearly. How you put up with his shitty attitude when you first met. How quickly you opened yourself up to him, exposing your deepest fears and troubles and being patient with him when he struggled to reveal his own worries to you. How you told him you loved him after only five months, terrified that you were going to scare him off, and all he could do in response was give you the most awkward, inexperienced kiss you had probably ever received. And you stayed by his side even when it took him almost a full year to say those three little words back.

You brushed your fingers along Law’s cheek, tracing the soft hair of his sideburns before hooking around his head and burying into the fluffy black wisps behind his ear. You pressed a smattering of kisses across his jaw and cheekbones, over his nose and finally on his lips. “When I think about positive things, I think of you.”

Law’s lips broke into a wide smile, the kind of smile he only ever showed you. The kind of smile that wrinkled the skin around his eyes and revealed the single small dimple he had on his right cheek.

A sudden ringing from his phone on the bedside table startled the two of you out of your lovestruck daze. With a grumble, he reached over and grabbed the device, you rolling off of him and sitting criss-cross on your side of the bed. He tapped the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear. You could just barely make out the words spoken on the other end. After a brief goodbye, Law hung up the call and uttered a heavy sigh before standing up and grabbing his uniform coat.

“Emergency surgery?” you asked. You were only slightly disappointed with the interruption of your intimate moment, but it was nothing you weren’t already used to.

He nodded with a frown before walking back over to you and stealing a quick kiss from your lips. “Patient just came into the ED with a STEMI. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Don’t worry about me, go save the world,” you said with a smile. He tossed you a somber grin as he stepped into his shoes, grabbed his work bag, and booked it out the door. Living two minutes away from the hospital by car definitely had its perks.

You were surrounded by silence in your apartment when the front door was closed behind your husband. With a sigh, you stood from the bed and paced toward Law’s wardrobe, opening the bottom drawer and pulling out one of his old sweatshirts. It had a custom design on the front of it, one that he also had tattooed on his back. His living situation after he lost his biological family wasn’t ideal, but the little ways he held onto the memory of his adoptive father always brought a smile to your face. You pulled the hoodie over you, taking off your bra underneath it and throwing it onto the end of your mattress, tiredly rubbing your sore breasts underneath the soft cotton of his shirt. You turned around to face the rest of your bedroom.

The pregnancy journal that you barely started writing in was placed on top of Law’s desk. With a deep breath, you grabbed the book, a pen, and a roll of white-out tape and proceeded to your couch in the living room.

You smiled at the sight of Bepo, stomach completely upward facing and paws outstretched as he snoozed away on his dog bed. You had a feeling Bepo was going to be an absolutely incredible big brother.

You leaned against a pillow rested along the arm of the couch and propped up your knees to place the book on your thighs. You finally mustered up your anxieties and opened the cover.

“Nothing but positivity,” you muttered to yourself. You uncapped the pen and started writing.

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader #op x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #i'm losing you

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rambleonwaywardson · 2 months

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Clegan Olympics AU - All-Around

Basically part 7 if we're going in order. Catch up via this Masterpost

AU Summary: Paris 2024 Olympics. Gale is on the U.S. equestrian eventing team, Bucky is a U.S. gymnast, they meet on the plane to Paris, and a love story ensues.

Author's Note: This is kinda long but splitting it didn't seem right. We have a lot happening: Bucky confronting his past; fluff; hurt/comfort; a bit of spice; we have Bucky and Curt's bromance; Bucky and Gale's romance; sports; celebrations; two idiots falling in love while the whole world watches. Buckle up y'all.

---

Three up three count.

That’s the rule for Olympic gymnastics this year. For the team event, each country can send five gymnasts. For the U.S., that’s John, Curt, Croz, Brady, and Alex. But only three athletes compete on each apparatus, and all three of those scores count towards the team’s total. Gymnasts looking to qualify for a specific individual event must compete that event during the team competition. Croz, for example, is one of the best in the world on parallel bars. The U.S. wants him to qualify for individual events on parallel bars, so he does parallel bars during qualifications and team finals. Croz additionally goes up on pommel horse for the team competition, Brady on floor and rings, and Alex on vault and high bar.

Gymnasts looking to qualify for individual all-around, on the other hand, must go up for all events in the team competition. That’s John and Curt, the strongest male all-around gymnasts in the United States.

This means that John and Curt both did all six events for qualification. Floor exercise, pommel horse, rings, vault, parallel bars, and high bar. Then they did all six again for team finals. They’re about to do all six again for individual all-around. And then they have individual events: Bucky on floor and rings. Curt on vault and high bar. Croz on parallel bars.

That’s five days total of men’s gymnastics competition in Paris. Bucky is competing across five days. Twenty events total. Little to no break in between.

It’s nothing he hasn’t done before, right? He’s young. He’s strong. He’s America’s best male gymnast, plain and simple. He earned his place here because he’s capable of doing this. He did it in Tokyo. He can do it again. Right?

Even after destroying his leg less than two years ago.

Right?

There’s a full house in the stadium tonight for men’s all-around. The gymnasts are heading into the fifth of six rotations, and Bucky is trying to push past the fatigue in his knee as he waits his turn on floor. One of the U.S. coaches is working on it, pressing his thumbs around the joint in a way that causes some disconcerting crunching sounds. It makes Bucky squirm in discomfort even as he feels the tension release. Curt is bouncing from foot to foot beside him, headphones in and the hood of his U.S.A. Gymnastics hoodie haphazardly over the back of his head. No care in the world.

Bucky wonders how that can be. How can Curt feel so calm? So confident? When he feels… like this?

There’s a certain moment when you are overwhelmingly sure that something is about to go wrong. Maybe you have no idea what, but something. A dread fills your being like an ominous shroud. You push it away. You hope to God it’s wrong. It’s just nerves. Just fear. Just exhaustion. Things that have no place on the gymnastics floor.

‘We never thought we’d see John Egan at the Olympics again… a year ago, learning how to walk again… said the pain was excruciating…’

Bucky’s coach pats his leg, and Bucky sits up with a groan, bending and straightening his knee. With practiced fingers, he puts on his brace, securing the straps and double checking every one. When he stands up straight, he shifts his weight, testing the joint. It’s tired, but when is it not?

He claps Curt on the shoulder and heads over to floor, where he’s about to be called. His head isn’t on right, he can tell. The lights of the stadium are too bright. The murmuring roar of the crowd crashes in his ears like waves breaking in the wind. There’s a camera right in his face, and he knows there’s one behind him, too. Watching. The whole world, watching. Everyone in this room.

Watching.

Because the world loves a good comeback story. And they also love to see what happens when a comeback story becomes less of a comeback and more of a… one last stand. No matter what happens, they get a show.

‘John Egan’s great comeback… a year and a half ago… destroyed his knee… thought he was done… had to learn to walk again… can’t imagine… what a comeback’

Bucky shakes his head, runs a hand through his hair, blows a hot breath through his nose. It’s floor. It’s his best event. Even with a stumble or a step out of bounds, his difficulty score is miles ahead of many athletes here. He’s got this.

‘Shocking… brave… incredible… inspiring’

Just one minute. Just six tumbling passes with a couple of non-acrobatic elements thrown in. Piece of cake.

His eyes scan the stands, but they’re too packed. He doesn’t know if Gale is here. He doesn’t know where he’d be if he were.

He wishes Gale was here.

‘Should’ve ruined his career… couldn’t even walk… no one but John Egan… a shocking comeback’

He needs Gale to be here, and if he didn’t know cameras were laser focused on him he’d smack himself in the head because come on he’s done this his whole life without Gale Cleven watching.

But Gale stills him in a way that no one ever has. And looking at the blue spring floor in front of him, he feels anything but still.

‘What a comeback’

“On floor exercise, John Egan!”

The announcer’s voice rings through Bucky’s head at an earsplitting pitch that makes him wince. It’s too loud too loud too loud. He doesn’t know if it’s the crowd, or if it’s the memories pounding at his head or the way his leg feels like it’s not a part of him anymore or if there’s just something wrong with him. What if he can’t do it anymore?

What if he can’t do it ever again?

His chest feels tight, but he salutes the judges anyway, sets himself up in the very corner, his heels on the white lines marking the boundary. Stand up tall, chest out, deep breaths. And then he runs across the diagonal in powerful, bounding steps.

He launches himself into his first tumbling pass, a triple twisting double back layout, the most difficult in his routine. The most difficult, perhaps, in any routine here. It’s one of the highest valued passes in men’s gymnastics, and he is one of few in the world to ever compete it. There was a long debate over whether or not Bucky should omit the pass from his routine post-injury, but he insisted he keep it, instead dialing back a couple of his other passes. He prides himself on this skill, and the world loves to see him do it.

The world loves a hero, just as much as they love a comeback.

He sticks the landing. He can imagine the commentators describing it, saying how incredible it was, noting how much power he can still get on that knee. It is an incredible pass, and he does it well; he knows that. He can’t count how many videos he’s seen of himself, the commentators exclaiming “Gymnastics 101 baby! Fly high and stick the landing” when he completes another impeccable routine.

He sets up the next skill, a combination pass. He feels the dread deep in his chest, and he doesn’t know why.

It’s so damn loud. He feels the impact shooting up his bad leg with every step. He launches himself into the air.

The world spins around him, or maybe he spins around it. It’s off. It’s not right. He’s mid-air and it’s not fucking right.

Why isn’t it right? Why can’t he find the ground? Why won’t his body listen to him? Why-

His knee crumples on impact, sending him to the ground, blood rushing through his whole body with such determination that he can hear it pounding in his ears. The crowd gasps. Curt yells his name. The pain explodes through Bucky’s entire body, and he screams.

–

That’s how he wakes up: screaming.

There’s someone standing over him in the darkness, hands on Bucky’s shoulders, shaking him gently. “Bucky, Bucky it’s okay,” Curt says. “Wake up. It’s okay.”

Bucky gasps, drawing in deep burning breaths that catch in his throat and make him choke. His eyes are burning, his ears still ringing with the rush of the crowd in an echoing stadium. Curt is staring down at him, though, all concerned and worried and shit. Bucky hates that he’s looking at him like that, but he desperately doesn’t want Curt to leave, either. His hand on his shoulder is the only thing bringing his heart rate back down to something resembling normal.

Curt doesn’t leave, though. He doesn’t even think about it, and Bucky knows he wouldn’t even if he asked him to. He stays right there. He stands beside Bucky with a hand on his shoulder, waiting for Bucky’s breathing to calm. He stays right there, just like he did every time Bucky woke up the exact same way in the hospital, with pain coursing through his entire body and fear gripping his mind.

Curt was right there with him when it happened. He and Croz were two of the first people at Bucky’s side when he went down at Worlds. He watched it all happen with his own eyes from beginning to end, a snapshot sequence of events that is imprinted in his brain in slow motion and fast-forward at the exact same time. He remembers how perfect the routine was before everything went to hell. A routine that would’ve secured John Egan another world title. He remembers the terrifying crack of a bar snapping, Bucky’s body hurtling uncontrollably through the air, his ear-piercing scream ringing through a stunned-silent stadium. He remembers the absolutely sickening visual of Bucky’s leg bent all wrong as he lay unconscious on the mat.

Curt was right there, an unwilling witness to it all, even when Bucky wasn’t. When the initial shock cleared, he didn’t think, just ran for all he was worth to Bucky’s side. He kneeled there with Croz, on the floor somewhere too far away from the high bar that Bucky had prematurely dismounted from, and he stared down at Bucky’s face. Eyes closed, covered in sweat, blood seeping slowly from the back of his head. His leg twisted out of shape in an impossible position. Curt remembers his hands shaking, hovering over his best friend’s still body like they knew they needed to do something but they couldn’t figure out what.

It still makes him sick to think about. It still haunts his own dreams.

Curt didn’t even finish the competition that day, demanding instead that he be taken to whatever hospital Bucky was heading to. He refused to leave, even when the nurses and doctors told him that only family was allowed in.

“I am his family,” he protested. He sat in that waiting room, slept in that waiting room, lived in that waiting room until a nurse took pity on him and let him in to see Bucky. He talked to his friend, even though he wouldn’t – couldn’t – wake up at first. When they moved Bucky back to the states, Curt hardly left his side. He sat with him, talked to him, stayed with him day and night. He woke him up from nightmare after nightmare, even when he was having nightmares himself. He sat on the edge of Bucky’s bed and wrapped his arms around him, trying to put him back together. He stayed. Even once Bucky was well enough to be angry at the whole fucking world and tried to push him away, he stayed.

Curt never gave up on him. Not once. Bucky isn’t sure he’s ever properly thanked him for that.

But even now, here Curt is, waking him up from a nightmare that had him screaming in his sleep. Curt was up and at his side in two seconds flat without a second thought. Bucky doesn’t even think to be embarrassed or try to brush it off or act like it’s not a big deal, even though it’s the first time it’s happened in months. That’s how familiar this is.

“It’s okay,” Curt says again. John might be the only one in the world that knows how soft Curt can be. Sassy, carefree, devil-may-care Curtis Biddick. And yet he’s been Bucky’s rock.

Bucky’s breathing is slowing. He closes his eyes, trying to let go of the tension gripping his body. He reaches a hand down towards his knee beneath the thin comforter, and he finds it intact. He’s not in any pain, at least no more than would be expected from competing over and over on a joint that was surgically reconstructed months ago. A little fatigued, sure. But that’s his normal now.

“Sorry,” Bucky sighs, opening his eyes again.

Curt shakes his head, slowly drawing his hand away from Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky tenses again at the loss of contact, but he forces himself to breathe.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for.” Curt shrugs. “This week. It’s a lot.” He knows. He’s been there every step of the way on Bucky’s recovery. This is the most he’s put his leg through since he came back to the sport, and he’s only about halfway done here. Curt would be lying if he said he doesn’t hold his breath and pray to whatever gods may be listening every time he watches Bucky fly through the air, waiting for the moment the world shatters again and hoping against hope that it never comes. He knows that’s what the dreams are about, and he’d be lying if he said he isn’t terrified that Bucky came back too soon.

“You okay?”

Bucky nods, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I just- I’m…” he groans. Curt is the only person in this world that he can be honest with about this. “I’m worried, Curt. What if…” He can’t say it. He just saw it, felt it, heard it in his dreams, real as if he’d lived it.

“I know.” Curt squeezes Bucky’s shoulder again. He doesn’t say anything else about it. There is nothing he can say that will make this better. You’ll be okay, is a guarantee he just can’t make. They both know it, but that’s the risk Bucky has decided to take. All he has is the work he’s put in in the last year. All he has is his raw skill, his own trust in himself, the sheer determination to make it through.

So instead Curt says “Try ‘n get some sleep. You’re gonna need it.” And that has to be enough.

—

“Where r u sitting???” Bucky is sitting on one of the barely padded folding chairs that lines the perimeter of the stadium. He doesn’t usually spend much time on his phone during competitions – usually he spends most of the time he isn’t on an apparatus stretching, talking to his teammates or coaches, or watching other athletes – but with the few free moments he has, he’s pulled his phone out of his bag to text Gale. The nightmare is fading bit by bit, but it’s still nagging at him.

Gale is here, though. He promised Bucky he’d be here during their date in Paris last night.

Bucky: 1, Nightmare: 0.

“You’re so whipped,” Curt teases. He’s on the floor in front of Bucky, using a foam roller on his upper back.

Bucky rolls his eyes and nudges Curt off balance with his foot, earning him a slap on the ankle. “Just sayin’,” Curt says as he gets the foam roller back underneath him. “Never seen you like this before.”

“Like what?”

Curt doesn’t even hesitate. “Happy. He makes you happy. Not like the other assholes you’ve dated.”

Bucky doesn’t really know what to do with that insight. But when his phone buzzes, his eyes dart straight to the screen with such speed that he knows Curt is probably right.

“Three rows up, in front of floor.” Then another message pops up. “Croz is waving his arms and yelling like a maniac.”

Bucky smiles and looks up across the stadium, squinting to try to see through the bright lights. He and Curt are currently still over by the high bar, directly across from floor, and will make their way over there for the next rotation any minute. Sure enough, there’s Croz jumping up and down in the stands a few rows up, calling out Bucky’s name. Bucky snorts and waves, encouraging Croz to sit the fuck down and stop earning the wrath of spectators around him. It looks like Gale might be smiling back, but Bucky can’t really tell. He imagines he is, anyways, in that soft and unassuming way that he has as he raises a hand in a shy wave.

Bucky makes a heart with his hands, holding it up high, nothing shy about it. Gale really does smile, then, shaking his head.

“Now the cameras really will be on me,” the next text says.

Something about that makes Bucky happy. Part of him wants everyone to know that Gale Cleven is here for him. He sends back a heart, followed by “Thanks for being here,” and then he shoves his phone back into his bag, slings the bag over his shoulder, and gets to his feet. He and Curt are being called over to floor with a handful of other athletes in their group.

By the time it’s his turn, Bucky is worried he’ll psych himself out. He keeps waiting for that feeling of dread to pop up, but it just doesn’t. Every time he thinks too hard about it, his eyes drift over to Gale in the stands, right there. Every single time Bucky looks, Gale is looking back. And every single time, Gale gives him a sweet little smile.

Gale stills him in a way that no one ever has, and if Bucky accomplishes what he thinks he might today, he thinks he’ll have Gale to thank for it.

Bucky rolls out his neck, bends over to triple check his brace, and he takes a breath.

His nightmare was not all-knowing, it turns out. First of all, Gale is here. Even better, floor is his third rotation today – following parallel bars and high bar – not his fifth. Curt isn’t hopping from foot to foot with his headphones on like a boxer while Bucky gets ready. And Bucky’s knee isn’t sore and in need of chiropractics… yet. The roar of the crowd isn’t crushing him under its weight, and his ears aren’t ringing in a way that makes everything feel like it’s happening in slow motion.

The announcer calls his name as he walks onto the floor, and he feels excited rather than terrified.

He completes his first pass, that same double layout with three twists, and he lands with a small hop back that he knows will likely be a one-tenth deduction. But that’s a very small price to pay for a massive element that demands so much power and will hopefully secure his lead. Fly high and stick the landing, he thinks to himself, even though that line gets on his nerves every time he hears it. Then he completes his second pass, his third, his fourth. Men don’t get music on floor. No dancing, no fancy footwork, little artistry. It’s just him, the floor, and his acrobatic skill. Strength and grace, all at once.

Before he knows it, he’s on his last pass, a triple full, and he puts it to his feet. The crowd erupts around him, and Bucky pumps his fist, yelling “Let’s gooo!!!” before he jumps off the spring floor. Curt assaults him in a massive hug the moment he’s down, jostling him in his excitement, and absolute relief floods through Bucky’s body.

Three rotations down. Three to go.

Predictably, on U.S. television, the cameras frequently pan to Bucky and Curt, even when they aren’t up on any events. The commentators discuss their skills, their athletic journeys, their training, and also their personal lives. Predictably, they are far too invested in John Egan.

After Bucky survives pommel horse – his most hated event – and comes away unscathed with a decent enough score, he’s officially hit the point in the competition when he’s tired as hell and sweating out nearly everything he drinks. His hair is just about plastered down with sweat, and he has half a mind to dump his water over his head. As he and Curt wait around for the fifth rotation, they walk around near their seats, stretch here and there, and run through their routines in their heads. Curt has his headphones on and is holding his arms out, down, back, out again, mimicking his holds on still rings.

In an effort to stay cool, Bucky has pulled his competition shirt (essentially a men’s leotard) down over his shoulders so it’s bunched at his waist, leaving him in nothing but competition pants with his highly muscular and very sweaty upper body on full display. A cameraman zooms in on him, and Bucky sticks his tongue out and flexes his left bicep, showing off the Olympic rings tattoo that he’d gotten after Tokyo. Curt joins him all of a sudden, headphones dangling around his neck. He wraps his left arm over Bucky’s shoulders and flexes his right, showing off his own rings tattoo. Then he leans in close to the camera as the cameraman zooms in. With his free hand, he points at Bucky. “This is the man!” he says. “He’s gonna do it!”

Commentators, reporters, and the public alike will note how at ease Bucky seems today. How this loose and laid back attitude is the typical John Egan that they knew before his accident. How the beloved bromance between John and Curt, two of America’s best, is back in full force. “We’re seeing such confidence from John Egan,” they’ll say. They’ll laugh when he makes faces and grins at the camera, and the world will fall in love with him all over again.

The cameras follow John as he discretely pulls his phone out of his bag, glancing at a text. He smiles and bites his lip, and for a moment everyone watching from home will wonder what on Earth the message could have said. But then Bucky sets his phone down, walks a few steps forward, and looks up at the stands. His eyes lock right onto Gale Cleven, who’s looking right back at him. Bucky blows him a kiss, the cameras catch Gale’s blush, and that definitely gives people something to talk about.

Bucky returns to his chair, and Curt waits until he looks at him to make a gagging noise. Bucky flips him off and goes back to his phone. The text says “You’re being very distracting, looking like that.”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Bucky sends back, followed by a winky face. Then he adds, “Nothing you can’t see again.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I’m all yours babe. As soon as I win this medal.”

“You might not have another event in you after today.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a highly trained athlete in peak physical health. I’ll show you how flexible I can be.”

Bucky watches the three little dots appear, and then go away. Appear. And go away. He stares at his screen for a moment, then looks up at Gale, who is also very pointedly staring at his screen. Finally, Bucky’s phone buzzes again.

“Mon dieu.”

“Hey Bucky,” Curt says, coming back over to stand beside him, voice quiet so the cameramen can’t pick it up. He’s holding his own phone and stifling laughter. “Croz wants you to know that Gale blushes very very easily. And while entertaining, you might wanna quit the sexting before people catch on to what exactly you’re textin’ about.”

“I’m not sexting,” Bucky says indignantly, and belatedly realizes that he said it just a little loud. Their coach glances over and eyes them curiously, no doubt praying to God that that wasn’t caught on camera.

“You’re definitely sexting,” Curt insists, biting his lip to keep from grinning at how ridiculous this is. “Dude, we’re at the Olympics. Not cool.”

Their coach looks over again, this time with a look of warning. The two athletes both snort, trying very, very hard not to break out into laughter.

Bucky rolls his eyes and shoves Curt away. “You’re almost up you idiot.”

–

Going into the final rotation, Curt and Bucky are both in a position to medal. Bucky’s leading, and Curt’s in third. There’s a palpable tension in the air as the whole stadium waits to see how this is going to pan out. Two U.S. medalists in men’s gymnastics is unheard of at the Olympics, and an American hasn’t won all-around since Athens in 2004. But Bucky seems like he just may eke out a gold medal over the Japanese gymnast in second, and Curt is holding the line against the Russian behind him. They don’t want to get too excited until it’s all over, but they keep sharing nervous and exhilarated glances as they wait their turn on vault. This might happen. This could happen.

Bucky’s fairly certain Curt will hold his own and get that bronze. He’s one of the best vaulters here and everyone knows it. Basically, as long as he doesn’t fall, he’s got it in the bag.

Bucky holds his breath as he watches Curt sprint down the track, spring up off the springboard, and make good hand contact with the table before flying up high into the air. His vault is the most difficult one being done in this whole competition, and it happens in the blink of an eye. Three flips and a full twist, something that seems almost superhuman, and Curt does it like it’s absolutely nothing. His feet hit the ground, and he has just the littlest hop back before slowly standing up straight. His face is completely expressionless as he salutes, like he can’t even believe what just happened. But the whole stadium starts cheering, on their feet, and only then does Curt take a deep breath and let out a celebratory yell. He throws his hands up in the air as he steps off the mat, encouraging the audience to celebrate with him.

Bucky practically assaults him when he walks off, and Curt all but jumps into his arms. Bucky is yelling “You did it! You fuckin’ did it!” as he slaps Curt on the back.

Curt’s grinning, still breathing hard as Bucky lets go of him. He puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Go finish this thing.”

When it’s his turn, Bucky stands at the end of the vault track, looking at the table ahead of him. He leans down and checks his brace. Vaulting with the brace is about the most uncomfortable thing ever (other than, well, breaking the leg in the first place). But he isn’t ready to risk doing this without it yet. “You better keep it the fuck together,” he says to his leg. “I’m counting on you.” If he wants gold, this vault has to be just about perfect. There’s a very slim margin between him and the current second place gymnast.

He can hear Curt already yelling “Let’s go Bucky!” as he mentally prepares himself. He salutes with a nod, more to himself than to the judges, and then he runs. His knee is tired, he can feel it, but he pushes the thought away. Now is not the time to get distracted.

Last night was just a dream. This is real. This is what counts.

He’s been doing this vault for years, and he knows the moment his hands hit the table that he got it right. He launches himself off the table and into the air, and there’s not even a fraction of a second to think about what he’s doing. His body simply knows what to do, following muscle memory and rotating through the air to complete two and a half twists.

The entire stadium erupts in a whole cacophony of noise, and Bucky slowly realizes that he stuck the landing flawlessly. Not even a step. He can barely even straighten his legs to get through his salute before he collapses to the ground on the mat, first to his knees, and then onto his back, the adrenaline coursing through him in overwhelming pulses of energy that thrum through his whole body.

“Bucky?” Curt calls from the side, worried for just a moment. But then Bucky pumps both fists up into the air and Curt takes a deep breath in relief.

“LET’S GO!” Bucky bellows, even as he’s heaving oxygen into his lungs, trying to slow down his heart rate.

After a few long seconds, he hops nimbly to his feet and raises his hands into the air again, waving to the audience cheering his name.

–

Bucky can admit it. He almost cries when he climbs up onto the top of the podium and the Star Spangled Banner resonates through the stadium. He stands there with a gold medal around his neck, and he holds it up for the photographs. A phenomenal Japanese gymnast won silver, and he and Bucky congratulate each other. Curt stands on Bucky’s other side, showing off the bronze, and neither of them can really believe that they’re standing here right now. Together.

Once they’ve stepped off the podium, a reporter pulls Bucky and Curt aside for a quick interview, asking them about what this means to them. For the very first time, two American men have medaled in all-around, and it happens to be them, best friends, practically brothers.

“This is- this is just amazing,” Bucky says, shaking his head as he looks around at the crowded stadium. Curt’s arm is slung around his shoulder. “I mean, did you see this guy’s vault? This man is insane.”

Curt snorts in disbelief, even though he does tend to think very highly of himself. “Don’t let Bucky fool ya,” he says. “He’s basically a superhero. And he’s usually a hell of a lot less humble.”

The reporter laughs and asks them both a few more questions. At some point, though, she becomes aware that Bucky’s attention has shifted. His focus is up on the stands, at a point somewhere above the floor.

Gale Cleven is there, looking right back at him. Bucky takes a deep breath, a smile drifting its way across his face, and he waves.

“There’s been a lot of talk about you and Gale Cleven,” the reporter says, taking the opportunity to bring up what everyone wants to know.

“Yeah,” Bucky says absently, still looking off towards the stands. Curt pinches him, making Bucky flinch and glare at him, but it gets his attention. “Yeah,” he says again, this time far less lovesick.

“Everyone’s dying to know more about you two. Is there something there?”

Curt scoffs and Bucky elbows him. He gives the reporter a smile that is much more practiced. Kind, but far less genuine. “Yeah,” he says. “There’s somethin’ alright. Gale’s… well. Gale’s amazing. Gale’s-” he shakes his head.

I love him. Those are the words his brain wants to spit out, and it sends him reeling for a minute, shocked by his own mind. His whole body fills with exhilaration and fear. God, what is he doing?

He looks back over his shoulder, knowing Gale can’t hear him and has no idea what’s going on. Bucky bites his tongue. “Yeah, there’s something there,” he repeats instead, and that’s all he’ll say.

–

“Alright, here’s the deal,” Curt says when he and Bucky are back in their shared room, both showered and changed. “We did somethin’ fuckin’ incredible tonight. And we are going to celebrate. But. But but but. Because I am your best friend and your favorite person in this whole world, and I know you’ve been-” – he makes a vague hand motion to Bucky’s whole body – “ahhh all fuckin’ day, I will do my duty as wingman.”

Bucky’s eyes go wide as he chokes on a sip of water and splutters, trying to respond. But Curt holds his hand up. “We’ll celebrate tomorrow. Tonight, I’m gonna get outta here. Go have some fun with the boys. Or maybe find some ladies. Or gentlemen. Or both. And you are gonna get nasty with your boy toy.”

“Curt!”

Curt shakes his head. “Just, like, don’t do anything kinky on my bed, okay?”

Bucky stares at him, honestly a little mortified, before shaking his head and pointing a finger at his friend. “Don’t lecture me about what’s kinky.” Curt literally just insinuated a possible orgy in the Olympic Village.

Curt just winks at him. “Make sure he’s real careful of your leg. You’ve still got two more days of competition.” Then he opens the door to leave, only to find said boy toy right on the other side, hand raised as if he were about to knock. “Oh hi Buck,” Curt says. He glances back at Bucky with an eyebrow raised. That was faster than even he expected.

“Hey Curt,” Gale says back with a friendly nod. “Congratulations. You looked amazing out there tonight.”

Curt smirks at him. “I think we all know who you were really watchin’ out there.” Gale bites his lip awkwardly and Curt saves him the embarrassment, stepping past him and out the door. He turns around on the other side to give Bucky an excited thumbs up, and Bucky huffs, shaking his head. And then Curt’s gone. Leaving Bucky standing in the middle of the room, staring right at Gale, standing in the doorway.

“You can come in,” Bucky tells him. He still feels off-kilter from the whole I love him revelation, but he shoves it out of his head as Gale nods and steps inside, closing the door carefully behind him.

Bucky can barely even spare another thought before he finds himself pinned against the wall, Gale pressed to him, desperate lips on his. Taken by surprise, Bucky honest to god moans at the sensations overtaking his whole body the moment Gale so much as touches him. His hands find their way to Gale’s waist. One of Gale’s is on Bucky’s shoulder, the other pressed to his solid chest, pinning him to the wall, and Bucky is already breathless.

“You… were… fucking… incredible,” Gale whispers against Bucky’s lips between kisses. His hands are gripping the fabric of Bucky’s shirt, and Bucky is questioning why he even bothered to put it on in the first place because it's only been a few minutes and he’s already pulling it back over his head, throwing it to the floor.

Gale runs his hand up Bucky’s bare chest, his fingertips light and tender and possessive at the same time. It makes Bucky shiver involuntarily, and the corner of Gale’s mouth quirks up like he discovered a fun new trick. Bucky kisses him again, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Only fair,” he whispers, repeating back Gale’s words from several nights ago. He briefly wonders how it’s possible that it’s been less than two weeks of knowing this man. How can that be true when it feels like finding each other was the answer to some grand cosmic question written in the stars?

But then Gale’s shirt is dropping to the floor beside his own and all thoughts in Bucky’s head fly right on out. As he told Gale earlier today, it’s nothing he’s never seen before. And yet Bucky completely blanks when faced with Gale, half naked in front of him, ready and beautiful and just asking Bucky to do unspeakable things to him. Bucky wants to… he doesn’t even know what. He wants to bite. He wants to kiss. He wants to touch. He wants it all.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he says before he moves in to nip at Gale’s neck, running a hand up his side. His other dips down to Gale’s ass, pulling him closer, and Gale chuckles quietly.

“Me?” He asks. “God, John, what about you.” His fingers move to the back of Bucky’s head to grip his hair, tangling into the wild curls there, still a little damp from showering. It makes Bucky dizzy with want as Gale presses their lips together again, rocking his hips forward against Bucky.

But just as Bucky is getting lost in how amazing that feels, Gale pulls away. Bucky chases after his mouth, wanting Gale’s soft lips back on his, but Gale leans his head back, drinking Bucky in with hungry eyes. “J’ai envie de toi,” he murmurs.

Bucky goes still at the words and stares into Gale’s eyes, seeing nothing but arousal and undeniable want. He has no idea what that means but holy shit does he like the way it sounds. Gale presses his hand to Bucky’s cheek, then trails his fingers across his collar bone, his shoulder, and down his bicep. God, Gale loves his biceps. He stops at the Olympic rings tattoo, fingertips hovering over the dark ink.

Bucky smiles crookedly at him, flushed and still leaning back against the wall. His hair is messy and sticking up in all directions where Gale twined his fingers through it. “You get to get one too, now.”

Gale tilts his head. “Hadn’t really thought about it.” His hand drops away, but Bucky laces their fingers together instead. Pressing his other hand to his chest, he pushes Gale back, towards the bed (his bed. Very very pointedly not Curt’s).

Gale grunts as the backs of his legs hit the edge of the cardboard bedframe, but Bucky is still guiding him backwards, pushing him down onto the mattress. Gale falls back onto his elbows, then onto his back, and Bucky is hovering over him, pressing Gale’s hand into the mattress beside his head. “You should,” he says.

Gale blinks up at him, lips parted and eyes dark, too lost in Bucky to remember what they were talking about.

“The tattoo,” Bucky laughs. “You need to get the rings. You’re an Olympic medalist now. Welcome to the club.”

“Shouldn’t I be congratulating you here?” Gale asks, his eyebrow raised. He motions vaguely to Bucky on top of him. “Olympic gold medalist John Egan.”

“Did you forget? You fell asleep after winning your medal.”

Gale blushes and seriously? That’s all it takes? Bucky’s obsessed.

“Sorry,” Gale huffs.

“We’re celebrating each other,” Bucky tells him. He lets his fingers trail idly down the middle of Gale’s torso, following the line of his abs.

Gale looks at him, searching his eyes for something, and Bucky wonders what it is. He wonders what Gale sees when he looks at him.

But all he says is “Where should I get it then?”

Bucky grins, kissing him deftly on the lips. “Let’s see.” He runs his finger lightly across Gale’s collarbone, like Gale did to him before. Over his shoulder. Down his bicep. A touch that looks innocent but is anything but. His lips follow, pressing delicate kisses all along their path. He bites down softly on Gale’s muscled bicep, teasing. “This is always a good spot. A lot of us get them right here.” He nips again, his tongue flicking out to lick at the reddened skin, and Gale bites down on his lip as he watches Bucky move over his body.

“Or here,” Bucky adds, pressing his lips to Gale’s forearm. Then his wrist. Then he shifts over to his torso, letting go of Gale’s hand. Gale inhales sharply when Bucky says “here?” and starts sucking at the delicate skin over his ribcage until it’s red and swollen and a small bruise is blooming at the surface. Gale watches, finding he likes it. Part of him wants Bucky to mark him up and claim him, and it feels heavenly, making him squirm in pleasure. Bucky trails kisses all the way down Gale’s side to his hip, where one of his hands has once again made its home, holding Gale still with a tender sort of firmness that makes him feel weak.

“You uh… you might be onto something,” Gale breathes shakily as Bucky sucks another mark into being on his lower abdomen. He lifts his head, trying to look at Bucky even though all he can see now is messy hair that he wants to grab. So he does. He buries his fingers in Bucky’s hair and gently presses his face to his stomach, a silent request to please, please keep doing that.

Bucky smiles against his skin, and Gale lets himself relax into the mattress, staring at the ceiling above with a heady and weightless satisfaction. He feels Bucky’s fingers fumble at the button of his jeans, followed by the zipper being pulled down. Bucky tugs at the waistline, his lips pressing lightly lightly lightly down down down until all of a sudden there’s teeth nipping at the sensitive spot right above the waist of Gale’s underwear, and he gasps in surprise. “I don’t think I’ll be getting a tattoo down there,” he pants.

Bucky pauses and looks up at Gale to make sure he hasn’t overstepped. Maybe he read this wrong. Maybe Gale doesn’t want to go further. But the only thing on Gale’s face is pure want, and goddamn. It makes Bucky’s heart stutter, the way Gale is laid out for him. The pleased and needy noises he makes when Bucky touches him. The way he looks, cheeks flushed, so perfect. Bucky’s mind is already jumping ahead to where he wants this to go, what Gale will look like in other positions, with Bucky touching him in other places, laying on this bed with all of his clothes off instead of just his shirt. But he forces himself to take it one step at a time. He rubs his thumb soothingly over Gale’s hip. “Well,” he rationalizes. “We really should explore all possible options.”

Gale takes a deep, gratified breath as Bucky pulls his jeans down, letting them fall to the floor with another gentle kiss to his bare hip.

He really can’t argue with that.

---

For those interested: Curt's vault, done by Asher Hong, 2024 Olympic trials Bucky's big tumbling pass, the Shirai III Bucky's vault, done by Brody Malone, 2024 Olympic trials

#Curt’s a good bro #Buck and Bucky are disgustingly in love #clegan olympics au #clegan fic #clegan #masters of the air #mota #john egan #gale cleven #buck x bucky #bucky egan #buck cleven

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