#going through hades posts and everyone before the game came out being like 'i wonder what zag's role will be in hades 2!'

[atalana]

HE PUT. MY BOY. IN A CUBE.

[taelme]

Delphinium

genre: demigod!au, strangers(ish)-to-lovers, pjo(?)!au, son of hades!yuta, daughter of Demeter!reader (angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff, not a sad ending)  pairing/s: Yuta / Reader  word count: 12k+  tw: mentions of suicide, loss of a loved one, mild panic attack symptoms, dealing with grief taglist: @infnteen​ a/n: pls read this! I contemplated a lot on whether to post this because I was dealing with some personal things and really needed to get some things out of my system and I did that through writing this. I can’t begin to recount how much I cried while writing this but I address a lot of heavy emotions in the course of this fic and if you're not comfortable with that I wouldn’t suggest that you read it. But like I said, the reason why I wrote this was really to escape and find comfort in situations that I was struggling to navigate in my head and I hope that for whoever it resonates with, it brings you the comfort and hope that it brought me.   read this on ao3

Yuta always enjoyed it when summer came around. He loved the ticklish feeling of his perspiration as it ran down his neck. He loved the way he would have to squint his eyes from the glare of the sun as he hiked, the way the water would always feel cold no matter how warm he felt.

Yuta looked forward to summer, because no matter how camp half-blood treated him, nature always gave him a warm welcome.

The weather turned cold when June came around.

Yuta didn’t notice it at first, nor did anyone else. Because camp half-blood was practically buzzing with excitement for the upcoming games and activities planned for the duration of summer. Everyone had already arrived at the campsite, some even arriving early (cough cough, the Poseidon kids) because they were just that excited to get their summer’s worth of fun and more.

Yuta only realised something was off when it started getting too cold to just leave the windows open and wear just a tank top and shorts in the Hades cabin. He didn’t think it was a coincidence that the buzzing had started revolving around something (or someone) else entirely, rumours about one of Demeter’s daughters making their way around the camp within mere hours of your arrival.

Trying to shut the windows, Yuta realised the cold wasn’t because of any old temporary breeze, like the kind that came before storms. No, this one seemed like it wouldn’t be going away for a while.

Going over to fiddle with the thermostat, Yuta couldn’t help his frustration from bursting out in a groan when he realised it was broken, the dial’s hollow clicking being just that; useless. Impeccable timing.

Still frowning, Yuta shrugged into the thick olive green camping jacket that he’d found stashed away in the cupboard (probably belonged to one of the old head counsellors judging from how untouched it looked). He was on his way to the strawberry fields, but he figured he’d might as well drop by the big house to ask Chiron to fix the faulty heating situation in the Hades cabin.

“She’s like a totally different person, I don’t get why she even bothered showing up. She looks like she doesn’t even wanna be here. And I didn’t pack any cold weather clothes.”

“Kind of ruins everyone’s buzz, to be honest.”

Yuta overheard one of the campers scoff as they walked past him, mentally scoffing at the two-metre radius they kept when they walked past him, not to mention the look of discomfort that flashed in her features when she saw him.

Running through the list of children of Demeter in his head, he wondered just who they were talking about. There was only one daughter of Demeter he knew of that hadn’t left the camp yet.

But it couldn’t have been you, could it?

Yuta couldn't wrap his head around the thought as easily as he wanted to. He knew you, you were so well-liked by the other campers, they almost gravitated towards you; the positive energy you exude was always hard to resist.

You were like a flower of sorts, Yuta thought, people either loved to be around you, look at you or feed off your energy. He knew that because he saw it since he saw you arrive at the camp years ago. But he couldn’t think of anything you ever did capable of warranting the harsh words circulating amongst the campers.

He guessed his conflicting thoughts were resolved when he overheard Chiron’s stern voice calling your name echoing from his office.

You lost your father when winter was coming to an end.

You never knew how to describe your relationship with him. He was strict, he always placed a lot of emphasis on your studies, intelligence. You had your fair share of arguments, especially with how you always had your head in the clouds, jumping from passion to passion in your search for something that would satiate the yearning for true happiness within you.

But most of all, he was a pillar of strength for you. For as long as you could remember, it had been just the both of you. Especially when you were younger, you would lie on your too-hard mattress with him, talking his ear off about his day, asking him endless questions about whatever movie he was watching. But he never once complained, always listening to you patiently and giving his own advice and little joking comments here and there.

He too would tell you stories about your mother, about how nurturing and lovely she was, how he always loved how you took after her warm demeanour (or how he hoped you would get a chance to meet her when you were older). You’re always so accommodating, he would tell you. You, in all your childlike innocence and curiosity, admired him, in awe from all the stories he would tell you about past travels and experiences or how it seemed as though he had an answer for every question you could ask him.

You always enjoyed that, reminding yourself in excitement every now and then that you had so much more to learn from him, so many experiences you wished to share with him.

You weren’t given enough time for that.

You had to watch, helplessly, as he went from someone who was prided for having such powerful eloquence and knowledge that showed in their speaking and writing, to someone who could barely grip their pen to write. Someone who could barely get a coherent sentence from their lips, who couldn’t even recognize their own image in the mirror. To watch as he went from a normal, active person to someone who could only lie in bed, muscles and limbs stiff and inflexible, hands cold and skin paper-like and wrinkled with age.

You didn’t recognize him, yet you did all the same.

You knew this was your same loving father because he would always ask for you. The mere whispered utterance of what you assumed was your name always made your heart ache, wanting nothing more than to be with him whenever he would manage to utter a small plea for you to stay with him.

What else could you have possibly done than to stay with him? Even when the mere sight of him was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

With his absence, came the heat of summer.

It almost disturbed you, the way you so desperately wanted to cling to any semblance of a feeling that he was still here. So much so that you were selfish enough to throw nature off balance, using your goddess-given abilities to keep the cold around, and with it, memories of your lost loved one.

You were determined to stay in your little bubble, too emotionally spent from your grief to be able to keep up an energetic or bubbly demeanour that your friends were used to. Being yourself, in all your sadness and grief, worked because people don’t wish to be around such negative energy if they had a choice.  

Well, people other than Chiron.

“Y/N. I understand that the past few months have been very difficult for you...” Chiron’s tone was firm yet gentle, his gaze searching yours for any sign that you were receiving his words as you sat before his desk.

Perched at the edge of your seat, your legs were angled sideways, one of your hands gripping the arm of the chair and the other on the handle of your duffel bag, ready to up and leave to go back home as soon as he said the magic words.

“But I still think that spending some time in a different environment, away from home… time with your friends here, it could do you good.”

Your heart sank, grip slackening just slightly on the armrest before you tightened it again.

“Chiron, I’m being as honest as I can with you. Being here isn’t helping,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your jaw clenching and unclenching.

You missed the way he’d shivered from how the room had felt even colder than before.

“How can you be so sure? You’ve only just arrived.”

You took in a deep breath, letting it out through your nose.

“I’m not wanted here. No one wants to spend their summer with a wet blanket.”

Chiron, unrelenting, had simply given you a warm smile, though his eyes were still filled with pity, “I think you need to allow yourself time to heal. Let your friends support you, dear. I’m not changing my mind on this.”

You huffed, “You know I could just go home, right?”

“And you know I could just send someone to bring you back, right?” Chiron reflected your tone back, his eyebrow raising in a challenge.

He stared at you for a moment, cogs whirring in his head before he straightened up in his seat, his gaze changing, “I’ll tell you what. If you’re not going to try for my sake… at least try for his sake. I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted you to stay cooped up in your house everyday.”

You took in a deep breath, letting it out harshly with a small groan, standing up abruptly.

“Fine, whatever,” you started making your way to the door, bags thumping harshly against one another as you yanked the door open, turning your head to add, “and you know that was a cheap shot, Chiron.”

“At least it worked,” you heard Chiron’s voice echo behind you but you brushed it off, turning back only to almost ram into another person standing a little too close to the door to be innocently waiting.

You recognized him, with his black hair down to his shoulders, curling slightly at the edges, the end of his fringe touching his cheeks as he shook his head to get it away from his eyes.

Hades’ kid, Yuta.

He was looking at you as though he were surprised to see you, and truthfully, he was. That was because he almost didn’t recognize you. Your face looked thinner than he remembered, the darkness under your bloodshot eyes accentuated the certain anger in your gaze. It was unlike Yuta had ever seen you before.

But he recognized you all the same, the way your gaze had softened slightly upon seeing him in a way that made Yuta feel like he’d just caught a glimpse of something too personal.

His shock had struck a nerve with you, it seemed, because your gaze was back to its cold, piercing nature in an instant, a small sigh leaving you.

“Move, you’re in my way.”

Yuta stepped aside quickly, letting you leave, trying to ignore the lingering curiosity within him as he entered Chiron’s office.

===

Please don’t approach me. Please don’t approach me. Please don’t approach me-

You almost winced at the sound of the metal food tray against the thick dark wood of the dining hall table you were seated at alone, your fingers pinching the carrot in your hand tighter in your dread.

“Hey… Y/N, long time no see, huh?”

Tearing your gaze away from your food, you met the eyes of one of your friends, a sigh leaving you as you mustered a weak smile.

“Yeah,” you huffed.

You watched as her gaze flitted from everything around you, avoiding your eyes. Sucking in a sharp breath, she pressed her lips into a firm line.

“It’s been a while since we talked, right?” she muttered, earning a nod from you. It was no loss on her part, really. If anything, you figured she probably didn’t want to have this conversation either.

“Honestly, the girls and I wanted to ask you out but you were always so busy—”

She’d stopped short when she saw the way you glared at her, your eyes already began to feel hot with the fresh tears that pricked at it.

“Yeah. I was busy.”

“Well, yeah, we know. You didn’t contact us so…”

Well, maybe it was because you were tired. Time and time again you were faced with questions about your loved one, whether he was getting better (as if it was easy to get better from degenerative diseases). All while you were falling into your own pit of misery, yet still were expected to keep a strong front for him, and for the people who couldn’t bear the thought that you had emotions other than joy and excitement.

It seemed, to them, your identity had changed. You weren’t you anymore, just… your father’s keeper. It was easier to say you were fine when you were asked so you wouldn’t have to reopen the wound you were so desperately trying to keep closed.

You sighed, glancing up to meet your friend’s gaze again. You couldn’t blame them, only yourself.

“Yeah, sorry about that…” you began, “I was just… I wasn’t really up for social gatherings.”

She frowned at you, “Well, I guess we could hang out now! Since we’re in the camp, you know? You look like you could use a distraction.”

You couldn’t help the words from slipping from you.

“Distractions are temporary.”

You pressed your lips into a firm line, regret filling you as you glanced back down at your food, “Sorry, it’s just—”

She let out a nervous laugh, shaking her head, though you didn’t miss the way she’d rolled her eyes.

“No, no, it’s fine,” she clipped, her tone a lot harsher than it was before, “We get it. Enjoy your lunch.”

You were about to stop her, to explain that you didn’t mean to be hurtful, but she’d left without another word, leaving you at the table without an appetite anymore.

Unbeknownst to you, Yuta had been watching (out of curiosity, he supposed), wondering what words were exchanged that made you bite down harshly on your lip, stand up and return your tray of untouched food.

“I was just trying to help her, she didn't have to be such a bitch about it. If she doesn’t want my help she could have just said so...” Yuta could hear your friend ranting as she returned to the daughters of Aphrodite and Athena chattering at the table nearest to him.

“I kind of pity her, to be honest… must be hard going through what she went through…” another girl had muttered, her eyes filled with pity as she watched you.

“Yeah well, if I were you I wouldn’t bother. People like Y/N don’t want to be helped. At the rate she’s going, she’s like a ticking time bomb… it’s only a matter of time before…”

“What? She explodes?” another daughter of Aphrodite had chimed in with an eye roll.

“Exactly.”

Yuta tuned out the rest of their conversation, munching on his carrot as he let his gaze follow your figure till it was out of the dining hall.

I’ll just ignore it. It’s none of my business anyway.

===

In the mornings, you ached for your loved one.

You were trying to get your mind off of it, but with how everyone seemed to be staring at you either with wary or pitiful gazes (sometimes both), you were starting to wonder if it would be easier for everyone if you just forced yourself to put on a happy front, leaving your longing to be something only for the four walls of your cabin bedroom to bear witness to. Most of all, you were really annoyed at Chiron for forcing you to come here.

Staring at the ceiling, at the little vines stretching and clinging to the walls the more you willed them too, bending in patterns and waves that would suffice in occupying your mind for the time being, you were momentarily distracted by the hushed whispers outside your bedroom door.

“Should we ask if she wants to join us?” one of the sons of demeter had murmured, another one letting out an urgent grunt.

“No, dude, haven’t you heard? I don’t wanna get myself involved in the beef she has with the Aphrodite and Athena girls.”

You sighed, the sound making the whispering halt for a moment.

“Okay, fine, but she’s still technically a camper here, shouldn’t we be looking out for her?”

You didn’t notice the heavy implication behind their words, tuning out the rest of their conversation as you forced yourself to get out of bed. Making your way over to the window of your bedroom (a privilege you appreciated now that you were the only daughter of Demeter left in your cabin), you sighed at the cold breeze that greeted you when you shoved the curtains aside.

You figured as long as you were here, you’d might as well do some stuff you couldn’t do back home.

Maybe you’d go for a swim.

You paid no attention to the funny looks you were getting from campers as you made your way to the beach, the muttering feeling like white noise to you at this point.

It was only a matter of time before Yuta heard it too, the muttering and rumours wondering if you were really heading to the beach to drown yourself. But it bothered Yuta, strangely, how everyone seemed to be busy speculating but no one deemed it important enough to actually check up on you and make sure you were alright.

It was as if they were just waiting for some tragic news to come back to them.

You were oblivious, wondering if the beach would feel like how it did when you went with your dad when you were younger, sitting and enjoying the cold breeze and the powerful sloshing of the waves.

The water looks bluer than you remembered, darker because of the cloud cover in the sky. You weren’t afraid of the cold, though, already kicking your shoes off and grounding yourself in the feeling of the cold sand against your feet and between your toes.

Taking your coat off, you dumped it on top of your shoes, appreciating the feeling of goosebumps rising on your skin.

Walking closer to the edge of the water, you stared at the way the water rushed past your feet, making chills shoot up your calves in the best way possible.

You were about to take another step when you heard a voice.

“Woah, woah, hey…” the voice sounded out of breath, “I don’t think the Poseidon kids would appreciate someone dying in their magical waters very much.”

You turned your head, spotting Yuta just a few steps behind you, the footprints on the sand behind him were spaced far apart.

You frowned, “I wasn’t… I wasn’t planning on dy-drowning myself… I was just going for a swim.”

Yuta’s eyebrows raised in disbelief, hugging his coat tighter around his body, a scoff leaving him.

“Hypothermia, then?”

You rolled your eyes, letting your toes trace patterns in the sand under the water, the water feeling warmer now.

“Look. I’m not trying to kill myself if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Yuta sucked in a deep breath, raising his voice so you could hear him above the wind and the waves.

“That’s not what everyone else is saying.”

You weren’t sure why you were surprised, you should’ve known. It was like you’d told Chiron, people were looking at you like your presence here was an accident waiting to happen.

Strangely enough, you were a little glad that Yuta didn’t seem to be walking on eggshells around you like everyone else. His gaze now, as he was looking at you, wasn't wary, nor was it pitiful. It was… somehow relieved.

“What makes you think I care about what everyone else is saying?” you murmured, curious to hear his answer.

Yuta surprised you when he let his lips curve into a smile, shaking his head.

“I don’t,” his tongue peeked out to wet his lips, “just thought you should know.”

You nodded, kicking at the water slightly.

“You should go,” you murmured, “I don’t think being seen with me is gonna help you around here.”

Yuta seemed to find your words amusing, a huff of laughter escaping his lips, “I could say the same thing.”

A small silence ensued, the both of you seeming as though you had a multitude of questions for the other person, yet not wishing to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere.

“I don’t know if the rumours are true,” he murmured, everything about his demeanour and his tone dripping genuinity, “but if they are… I’m sorry for your loss. I know you and your dad were pretty close.”

You nodded, your lips pressed tightly together as you gave him a nod, your expression not giving away anything that you were feeling.

“Thank you, Yuta.”

You barely even noticed how the air around you both had gotten a little warmer, and neither did Yuta.

Yuta shook his head at you in dismissal, giving you a soft smile, “take care.”

He turned without another word, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he made his way back to the dining hall.

===

You didn’t think this was gonna work.

Technically, you had everything you needed. The spellbook you borrowed from the library, the food offering, the pit you dug in the ground of the field you were in, a candle and some matches, a pretty extensive knowledge of how to read ancient greek. Desperation?

This should’ve been all you needed to summon a deceased soul (according to the spellbook). Admittedly, like you said, you didn’t think it was gonna work (1. because you weren’t a child of Hades 2. because you didn’t think your powers were that strong or versatile), but you figured you had to at least try. You know, just so you know you tried.

Adjusting the spellbook where it stood propped against the thick root of the tree you were seated under, you took a deep breath in. Muttering the incantations softly under your breath, you scrunched your eyes shut, carefully calling out in your head.

Dad? Can you hear me?

Nothing. Just the rustling of trees in the wind.

Hmmm Hades? Your… Majesty? Are you there?

Again, nothing. Though you swore you heard the crunching of leaves somewhere nearby. Maybe you were onto something.

Uh… Goddess Demeter? Would you rather me call you Mom?

At the lack of a response, your mind had wandered. Thinking of Demeter had brought forth a wave of memories of your father’s stories about her, about how he hoped you would take after her good qualities when you were older.

It was then that a sick feeling surfaced in the pit of your stomach, a feeling that filled you with an almost nauseating type of regret and dread. Right now, you didn’t think your parents would be happy (or ready) to see you like this.

And maybe, you were realising, you weren’t quite ready to see your dad again either.

“Trying to make a deal with my dad?”

You’d jolted in shock, heart pounding rapidly and your eyes opening wide only to see Yuta next to you, peering over your makeshift altar to try to read the spellbook.

You almost forgot who his dad was for a second.

“Are you following me?” you narrowed your eyes at him, earning a shake of the head from said boy, his hair messily bouncing against his forehead as he did so.

“Nope, I was looking for a good spot to read but I realised it was uh…” he gestured to your little display with a giggle, “occupied.”

“I can help you with that, you know?” Yuta slumped down into a seated position next to you, scanning the writing on the spellbook quickly.

“With what?” you frowned, turning your head to yawn.

“I assume you were trying to get into contact with your dad?” he raised his eyebrows at you in question.

Your gaze flickered from him to the open spellbook, your hand reaching out quickly to shut it with a loud thud.

“Forget it, I changed my mind.”

Yuta frowned, “Are you sure?”

Confusion was written in his features as he tilted his head at you, his thumb fiddling with the corner of the hardcover book he was holding.

You nodded, averting your gaze.

A short pause, and then a hum from Yuta.

“Mind if I ask why?” he looked on patiently for your answer.

Keeping your gaze fixed on his knee, you purse your lips, unsure if you should tell him the truth. The truth was enough to deter your old friends, and you figured you didn’t mind Yuta’s unapologetic company.

“You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable,” he added, “I’m just… kind of confused, but mostly curious.”

You took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Maybe you would just tell him, if he didn’t want anything to do with you afterwards, then so be it.

“I don’t want my dad to see me like this.”

You dared yourself to meet his gaze, expecting to be met with an expression that would make your heart sink or something like that. But instead, Yuta simply nodded.

“I get that. You don’t want him to see you when you’re not in a good place.”

Your lips parted, nodding slowly, still feeling as though you were waiting for a punchline somewhere.

Yuta seemed to have sensed this, a bout of laughter leaving him, throwing his head back as he laughed as if it was funnier than it was.

“Why do you look so shocked? You’re acting like I'm the first person that told you that.”

Your eyebrows raised, mustering a shrug, “I mean… you kind of are.”

The way Yuta’s expression had changed from relaxed to annoyed in an instant almost gave you whiplash.

“Seriously?”

You didn’t answer him, but your silence spoke for itself.

Yuta let out a deep sigh, a scoff leaving him, as if he couldn’t believe you.

“That’s stupid. I’m glad you’re hearing it now, at least. Better late than never I guess.”

You shrugged again, your hand going next to you to run your fingers over the grass, watching as they grew through the gaps between your fingers.

Yuta looked at you, feeling a little more accustomed to the cold now than he was days before.

“How long has it been?” he dared to ask.

You guessed that was what you appreciated about Yuta. In a sense, his questions forced you into that part of your head you’d kept locked up for what felt like the longest time, but strangely enough, it was as if you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him, or put on a strong front so he would assume you were coping well.

No, there was no need for any of that now as you sat in the middle of the field with him looking at you as though he wanted to hear your answer, not the responsible, optimistic ‘we’re doing alright’ answer you would always give to protect your father’s privacy.

“Almost two months,” you told him, raking your fingers through the soft grass.

Yuta’s lips parted, nodding slowly as he set his book down on top of the now-closed spellbook, hugging his knees to his chest so he could rest his cheek against his knee.

“I get it now,” he told you matter-of-factly, “the cold weather.”

You hadn’t expected him to come to that conclusion (especially not that quickly), a flush of embarrassment sending uncomfortable heat to your neck.

“Sorry, I know it’s selfish of me.”

Yuta hummed, a teasing smile on his face as he turned to meet your gaze, “Yeah, very.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Get used to it—”

“You know, change isn’t always a bad thing.”

“Huh?”

“No, I mean. I thought of it ‘cause of the weather thing…”

“I know it makes you feel helpless, but… not everything that changes is something that has to be… you know, fixed,”he continued.

You almost felt like he had a clear view into your head, overcome with awe at how lightly he was uttering such weighted words.

“Fixed?” you echoed dumbly.

Yuta gave you a small smile, nodding. Reaching out a hand nonchalantly, he picked a grape off of what was supposed to be your food offering, popping it into his mouth.

“Yeah, fixed. Reverted back to how it used to be. Controlled.”

You followed suit, picking a grape and munching on it slowly, turning to look at him as he raised his eyebrows at you.

You hadn’t realised this.

You were so used to being thrown in unpredictable situations, trapping you within a feeling of helplessness that you grew to desperately avoid. To you, control meant stability, stability in the unchanging things and patterns of life. Of knowing what was in store for you, as impossible as that was.

“Well, what do you suppose I should do, then?”

Yuta giggled, holding his hands up in defence, “I’m not ‘supposing’ anything. But what I will say is that you can grow with the change. You know, to accept that what has happened has happened, and that there isn’t really anything left to do other than to move forward from it.”

Yuta continued, munching on two grapes this time.

“Let it reveal things about yourself you wouldn’t have discovered if not for it.”

You huffed, dismissing his words because you knew they were something to consider seriously.

“Sounds like a bunch of fluff.”

Yuta was the same as ever, undeterred as he gave you a grin.

“My specialty,” he shook his head, expression taking on a more serious tone again, “Really, though, I know it sounds fluffy, but I mean it. Genuinely.”

Leaning back to rest his weight on his palms, he sighed, squinting his eyes at the glare of the sun peeking through the clouds.

“I wish someone was there to tell me the exact same thing years ago,” he muttered.  

“What happened years ago?” you met his gaze when he opened his eyes and turned to look at you, the sparkle in his eyes almost seeming to dim for a second.

“I was claimed.”

===

That night, as Yuta was lying in bed, he felt a strange urge within him to head to the field nearest to his cabin, where he was with you that same morning.

He wasn’t sure why, but something felt right about it and he wasn’t in any position to refuse (now that he was nowhere near sleepy).

It was only upon reaching the field that he was beginning to wonder why he was here. The pale moonlight made the field look bright even though the shadows cast a blue darkness over the flowers and grass he walked over. Giving up on his quest to find out what brought him here, he’d laid down on the grass with a sigh, an arm behind his head as he stared at the moon.

He wondered, just for a moment, if you were sleeping.

As if he were back in his own bed, Yuta felt the wave of fatigue spread through his limbs, from his head down to his toes, letting himself shut his eyes in anticipation of a long-awaited rest.

It was then that he’d heard the voice.

It wasn’t Chiron’s voice, that was for sure. Nor did it sound youthful enough to belong to any campers he knew. There was a certain edge to the voice, the slightly gravelly tone that only came with age.

He heard the voice again, calling his name. This must’ve been someone he knew, or they wouldn’t have known his name, nor called it like that (in such a familiar way).

Show yourself. Yuta thought, a tingling in his fingers that reminded him of the first time this happened, when he’d discovered that he could communicate with deceased souls when he had an encounter with his grandfather just days after he was claimed by Hades, when he was still trying to resist his newfound identity.

It was rare, rare that he would encounter souls that so strongly wanted to communicate with him. But he didn’t detect any animosity or hostility from this soul, an overwhelming feeling had filled his heart, bringing unfamiliar tears to Yuta’s eyes.

Then he saw it, clear as day. A face he was surprised he still remembered even after so long.

Your father.

===

“So, poison this time?”

Looking up from your phone, you weren’t shocked to see Yuta again, making his way leisurely to where you were, a different book from the other day in his hand.

You knew what he was referring to (frankly, it was hard to ignore), the tall stems with little jagged leaves fanning out from it leading up to the beautiful blooms in shades of purple and blue. Some tall spikes with tiny mounds of flowers that had yet to bloom.

“Again, not trying to do anything sinister or tragic,” you huffed, amused, “I always liked these flowers.”

“Your favourite?” Yuta asked, crouching into a squat in an attempt to sit down, deftly avoiding the flowers much to your amusement.

You shrugged, “I guess you could say that.”

“Didn’t know you knew anything about flowers,” you teased, earning a giggle from him, a hint of childlike pride in the glint of his eyes.

“I don’t. Well, not much, at least. I worked at my grandpa’s shop when I was younger for some extra money,” he shrugged, “still doesn’t make me as much of an expert as you are, though.”

You smiled.

“That sounds more like it. You were never interested in flowers.”

Yuta narrowed his eyes at you, surprised (yet not exactly in an unpleasant way) that you knew that. He still had to ask how, though.

“Who told you that?”

“You did,” your smile grew at the recollection of the memory, “I don’t know if you remember, but it was the flower arrangement workshop they did a long time ago that they put the Demeter kids in charge of. I asked you if you wanted to come, and you—”

A gasp left his lips, his eyes widening, “Oh! I remember that.”

“Yeah,” you told him pointedly, a teasing lilt to your tone.

“Sorry about that, by the way. I was pretty harsh.” You hadn’t expected the remorse in Yuta’s expression, as if he’d done something so horrible to you.  

Yuta remembered that incident, because that was when it started. When everyone had started to avoid him because of his powers, and the unsettling aura of fear and death he brought with his presence.

It was always what separated the both of you, or that was how he used to see it. People gravitated towards you because of your joyful, positive, healing aura, whereas people avoided him because of his heavy, fearsome aura.

You were the only one of Demeter’s kids that bothered to ask if he wanted to take part in that stupid workshop, but at the time, he was upset, and he figured he shouldn’t risk ruining your workshop as well.

Caught up in the memory, you drew him out of his thoughts with the laugh that left you.

“It’s really fine, I didn’t take it personally. Just figured you were in a bad mood or something.”

Yuta’s gaze had softened, his lips parting just slightly, but he seemed to snap out of it quickly, giving you a smile as he averted his gaze, staring hard at the page his book was open on.

“What are you doing here? Not hanging out with your friends?” you asked, though you knew it was a stupid question. It wasn’t like you’d seen Yuta hang out with people from other cabins whenever he was here.

A huff of amusement escaped his lips, giving you a shake of his head in response.

“I like it here. But it’s nothing like how it feels back home. At least back home there’s friends, work, family… nothing like this place.”

You frowned, not quite understanding.

“I thought you said you liked it here,” your eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed in confusion.

Yuta nodded.

“I do.”

“You sure?” you couldn’t help yourself from feeling skeptical, and Yuta couldn’t blame you, you weren’t wrong, “‘Cause the way you described it makes me think you don’t actually like this place very much…”

Bringing his hand up to run it through his hair, you almost wondered if you’d struck a nerve, but Yuta’s reaction was unexpected.

He laughed.

“I didn’t know you were so perceptive.”

Your eyes widened, rushing to apologize, “Sorry I—”

Yuta shook his head in dismissal, making you stop yourself halfway.

“What are you doing? Don’t apologize,” he seemed genuinely amused, “you’re right, anyway. I spend more time in this place than I would want to… you know, because of what they say about your scent to monsters being stronger as your powers get stronger.”

There was a certain pensiveness to his gaze, something you found familiar, yet caused an ache to stir within your heart as well. You wondered if he felt the way he looked.

“I like to tell myself I like it here, you know… it works most of the time, I get to be around nature a lot here, which is nice. But… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have another reason to stay.”

Taking in a deep breath, Yuta let out a sigh, “I never know if there’s gonna be another kid like me… and I don’t want them to have to be alone, and go through what I did.”  

You nodded.

“It’s kind of ironic. You would think that this is a place where you’d be welcomed for your differences, because it’s not like you chose to be this way, to have the powers you have. But… it doesn’t seem to work that way here, obviously.”

“I think you did a great job,” you muttered, catching Yuta off guard, the said boy’s eyes widening.

“You’re more welcoming than anyone I've met here… you’ve never hurt anyone with your powers. Even now, after knowing all about me that you know, hearing all the rumours. You don’t talk to me like I'm some kind of ticking bomb. You talk to me like I’m… well, me.”  

Should you have been embarrassed that you’d just said what you said? No, you meant every word.

Yuta stared blankly at you, ignoring the strange feeling that was stirring within him. The comfort that came with being known.

“Anyway, uh, what are you doing here?” Yuta diverted your attention quickly, focusing on getting comfortable in his seat. He leaned against the trunk of the tree you were seated under, bringing his knees up and  propping his book on his knees, “Not hanging out with your friends?”

You purse your lips, shaking your head, willing the budding flowers to bloom.

“I don’t think they’d like to… hang out with me very much right now.”

Yuta’s eyebrows raised, leaning forward just slightly as he tried to detect any sadness in your gaze. Maybe not sadness, that wasn’t quite what he found, more of a sense of resignation.

“I mean… I guess it’s my fault. I kept bailing on them so I guess they just, you know, stopped asking.”

Yuta hummed. Again, no eggshells here. His book was long forgotten in his lap.

“Can I ask what happened?”

You huffed, an empty smile on your face, the kind you’d grown so used to wearing even if you didn’t really have anything to be happy about.

“I guess… we had different priorities, you know? Friends are important to me, of course. It was just… tough for me to manage my time…” you pressed your lips together in a tight line, letting out a weak huff of laughter.

“I wanted to spend time with them. I mean, I didn’t have to go to school, I wasn’t working or anything, but…” you took in a deep breath, your vision already beginning to blur, Yuta looking on with an unreadable emotion to his gaze.

“There was no one else that could take care of him… no one else that wanted to, really. No-” your throat had began to constrict, your lips quivering as you sniffed as softly as you could, “no one else he asked for.”

You dared yourself to meet his gaze, and you couldn’t have been prepared for the wave of emotions that surged through you when you did.

Yuta was seeing it again, the way your gaze had softened, the puffiness under your eyes more prominent now than it was just seconds ago, the slightest hint of the anguish you felt that made itself known in the way your eyebrows had furrowed. The same feeling that he had just caught a glimpse of an intimate part of your soul.

“I couldn’t bring myself to leave him… I couldn’t do that to him, Yuta, not when he needed me,” your voice had faltered, the dry and painful stinging of your throat getting the better of you.

Yuta nodded, watching as you brought your hands up to wipe at your tears, noticing the disdain you seemed to view your actions with. It was as if you were upset at yourself for crying.

Truthfully, you were. You were afraid that you would open up the can of worms that were your emotions that you didn’t feel ready to feel again, for every time you felt it, it felt like you were reliving them with how fresh they felt in your heart.

“You wanted to care for someone you loved…” Yuta surprised you when he’d reached a hand out towards your face, panic registering in you as you made the delphiniums wither, not wanting him to get hurt.

Yuta was too focused to notice the way the path towards you had cleared, his gaze intent as his fingers touched your jaw in a light caress, his thumb wiping away the tear that was rolling down your cheek, your lips quivering as you took a deep breath in despite your lungs feeling weak.

“That’s not something to feel bad about,” he told you with a small smile. Without thinking, you’d shifted to sit next to him, letting your head rest on his shoulder as he similarly let his head rest against yours, not saying anything about the tears you would get on his shirt.

His presence exuded a warmth you hadn’t expected to feel so welcoming, having forced yourself to find comfort in the cold.

You and Yuta had stayed in that warmth for a while, the first taste of warmth you’d felt in a long time. Away from the cold, but no further away from love.

===

Weeks had passed, and Yuta and you had grown closer, seeming to somehow intuitively know the other person with the more time you spent together, through the stories you would share with each other, friends you both had back home. You felt comfortable with Yuta; he never made you feel like you had to be a certain way with him. You were thankful for that, and you hoped he felt as comfortable around you as you did.

You never planned to meet, funnily enough. You would always seem to find each other in the camp grounds one way or another, as if there was something guiding you towards each other.

Lately, in the evenings, you would be in your room after dinner working on a craft or watching something to wind down before you slept. Yuta would say he would be at the beach, but you didn’t really ask what he did there, figuring there weren’t that many things to do at the beach.

People talked, of course, about yours and Yuta’s new friendship, claiming that it was convenient that two outcasts had found enjoyment in each other’s company.

You didn’t mind, though. A part of you was always aware of Yuta’s presence whenever you came to camp half-blood, and you were more than thankful that you’d come to know more about the person behind the presence, no matter what the other campers had to say about him. Better late than never, as he would say.

That evening was a little different.

The both of you had found your way back to the field, stupid giddy smiles on your faces when you realised you both had the same idea to watch the sunset that day.

“Did you have a good day today?” he murmured, sitting with one leg stretched out and his other foot tucked against his outstretched leg.

You nodded, yawning as you looked up, your hand coming up to your neck to massage the soreness away (you figured that was the con of spending the whole day hunched over your laptop).

“Yeah, I did. I would say it was even productive,” you smiled, wincing at the ache you felt when you looked up at the sky to watch the sunset.

“You can rest your head on my lap,” he offered casually, a huff of laughter escaping him at the way your eyebrows raised in confusion.

“Your neck,” he added.

Your mouth made an ‘o’ shape in realisation, complying gladly and shifting yourself so you were lying in the field now, your head resting against Yuta’s thigh.

It came so naturally, the way he would just reach his hand out to push your hair away from your face. You welcomed the gesture, and the little static buzz it planted in your chest.

“What about you? What did you do today?” you asked, fatigue laced in your tone, no longer watching the sunset but letting your eyes flutter closed instead, enjoying the relaxing feeling of Yuta’s hands in your hair.

Yuta hummed, “I called my friends back home… then I went to the beach.”

The laugh that bubbled from your lips had almost stunned Yuta, thankful that you didn’t seem to notice.

“You’re spending a lot of time at the beach these days, huh,” you commented, earning a smile from Yuta.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, hoping you wouldn’t ask why, and then feeling relieved when you didn’t.

“You’re not watching the sunset anymore,” he pointed out, amusement in the way his lips curved into a smile, “did you just come here to use me as a pillow?”

You would’ve rolled your eyes if they weren’t closed.

“I know you just rolled your eyes at me,” he scoffed.

“In my defence, I didn’t know you would be here when I came here.”

Yuta hummed, “Fair enough.”

“Since your eyes are open, though,” you began, blissfully relaxed at this point, “why don’t you describe it to me.”

Looking at the sky, it was as if you both happened to be seated at the best possible spot to view the clouds and colours cast by the setting sun.

“Well… first of all, it’s not as orange as it was five minutes ago,” he sounded out his words slowly, taking his time to explain it to you, “Now it’s more… blue… blue and purple and pink… the clouds aren’t the big and fluffy kind, these kind of look like rays.”

“Rays?” you hummed, painting a vivid picture in your imagination of what Yuta was describing, his hand moving from your hair to your arm, flipping your palm so it was facing up, drawing on it as if he were trying to draw the clouds, your nose scrunching at the ticklish feeling but you didn’t pull your hand away.  

“Yeah. It’s as if they’re shooting out from somewhere. It’s… it looks amazing, I'm probably not doing them any justice with how I'm explaining it,” he laughed, but continued anyway, “you can’t see through them the further they are, but as it fans out, it starts to look more dispersed… kind of like the flowers you like.”

“Like the delphinium flowers,” he murmured, a hint of amazement in his tone.

Your lips parted, enjoying the vivid image you had in your head now. You imagined the clouds looked as soft as the flower petals did, the colours to match, little tints of pink peeking out from behind them and blending beautifully with the blue of evening skies.

“Do you like those flowers?”

Yuta did. They reminded him of you.

He gave you an affirmative hum.

Just like that, he’d started to see the familiar stalk of the delphinium growing from the ground, surrounding the immediate area around the both of you. But what caught Yuta’s eye was the vine that had started to snake around the tree nearest to him, defying everything he knew about fruits when he saw the little bunch of grapes you’d willed to grow.

“Go ahead, you can eat it.”

Never one to refuse a snack, Yuta went ahead, plucking a grape from the bunch and popping it into his mouth, the gesture reminding him of one of his first conversations with you.

About to pull his hand back towards himself, Yuta swallowed the grape.

“Not that I’m complaining but why—” he was about to tell you that your hair was tickling him, but it was only when he turned did he realise that it wasn’t your hair, it was the soft petals of the delphinium flower.

“Oh.”

Your smile widened, letting your eyelids flutter open to see how he dared himself to feel the petals between his fingertips.

“Was that why… the grapes?” he turned to you, the smile on his face making you glad you decided to do what you did.

He glanced back at the flowers, back to you.

“... amazing,” he murmured.

“Cool, isn’t it? I realised it could work when I was experimenting a few weeks back,” you decided not to add the part about how it was because he’d almost touched it.

Yuta’s eyebrows raised, tilting his head in confusion before he shook his head at you.

“I wasn’t talking about the fruit, I was talking about you.”

Your heartbeat was so loud you could hear it in your ears, the same static buzz from before returning but much more intense.

Before you could get ahead of yourself in the heat of the moment, you lifted your head from his lap, trying to ignore the way you wanted nothing more than to stay there with him. His hand went to your back to support you as you sat up, letting you stand up and watching as you dusted your clothes off.

“I’m gonna call it a night, I’m a bit tired,” you told him, as if that was enough to explain your sudden shift in demeanour.

Yuta nodded, not seeming to have minded your reaction.

“I think I’ll stay here for a while… goodnight,” he smiled.

You nodded.

As you left, you willed the flowers to continue growing. For Yuta.

===

You were doing better mentally, slowly drawing out of your bubble and allowing yourself to feel as your emotions came instead of shoving them under the rug and pretending they didn’t exist.

But there were days where the temptation to run was stronger, the temptation to lie that you were doing okay because you so desperately wanted to feel okay, even if the person you were lying to was yourself.

It happened after the capture the flag game.

You were waiting patiently at the medic table as you helped to pack up, waiting for Yuta to show up so you could get some supper. You’d forgotten that he told you not to wait for him.

Soon, people started to leave, giving you weird looks because you stayed loitering where the medic booth was supposed to be, anxiously glancing around for any sign of the black haired boy, any voice that sounded like him.

There were rules about being in the forest after dark. It wasn’t encouraged, as Chiron would say, no one knows what lurks in the dark, and it's better not to test that.

You had no control over it when your imagination had started to run wild, wondering if something had happened to Yuta in the forest, whether he’d gotten lost because of how dark it was.

It would’ve been dismissed as ridiculous concerns if you were thinking straight, but you couldn’t. You were so overwhelmed with the feeling of dread that had started to creep up on you as the sky grew darker, shadows covering more than you were comfortable with.

It was times like right now, when you truly were afraid of how alone you felt, in the space where loss felt stronger, and absence was more obvious. The only thing you could focus on was finding a distraction from what you were feeling before it could swallow you whole.

Your legs moved before you could process it, taking you wherever your subconscious was leading you, all while you struggled to find your voice to call Yuta’s name. You felt blind with uncertainty, with the fear that came from not being certain of your surroundings. Even when you tried to find your way back to the campsite, you weren’t sure where to begin, sending more waves of distress through you.

The knowledge that you were alone had grown stronger the more time passed and you were still wandering around the dark forest, putting a weight on your chest that was making it hard to breathe, feeling as though you had to put in more effort now to get air into your lungs, unsure if you were even breathing at all.

You felt sick to your stomach, you didn’t even register the sound of running water— a sign that you were close to the lake. All you hoped was that you could, by some miracle, find Yuta like how you did all those other times.

Yuta had been near the lake, practicing. It was the best place for it, he discovered. The water seemed to be a bridge of sorts, as strange as it was.

Distracted when he’d heard the sound of something in between a groan and a whimper, his head turned quickly, scanning the area around him only to spot you, eyes wide open, frantically trying to see through the shadows.

He saw the panic in your eyes, making his way over to where you were as quickly as he could, a deep frown etched on his features as he grasped your shaking hands.

Your breath came out in short pants, perspiration on your face and neck, your legs felt as though they would give way at any moment. Yuta couldn’t bear to see you so distraught, but it was the worst when he looked into your eyes.

The emotions behind them were familiar. It brought back memories of himself, when he was barely twelve years old, afraid of ghosts but being met with the incessant voices of the ghosts that desired to communicate with him, the constant shock of being able to feel the possibility of death in someone he had just met.

“Breathe, breathe, you’re okay, you’re not alone.”

His words came out in a desperate string to comfort you. Yuta was desperate, using his powers to let the shadows envelop you in his attempt to heal you from what you were going through, but immediately regretting it when he felt the way your grip tightened around his hands.

That was when it clicked. The shadows, the pitch darkness, the feeling of paralysis and isolation it brought.

Almost immediately upon realising, Yuta dispersed the shadows, regret in his tone.

“I’m sorry, shit, I’m sorry, I just wanted to heal you, I could only do it with the shadows.”

You were still trying hard to breathe.

You trusted Yuta, you knew he wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t confident in it working, especially if he knew how you felt about it.

Yuta, of all people, was the best reminder for you in this moment that darkness didn’t always have to be a bad thing. He said it himself, the shadows can heal.

You shook his head, the unsettling feeling in your stomach making you feel dizzy, your eyes shutting in a wince as you nodded frantically.

“Okay, It’s okay. I want to try,” you told him quickly between laboured breaths, trying your best to take your mind off the pain in your chest, “quickly.”

Barely a second had passed before you were surrounded by darkness again, stripped of your sight. The only thing you were certain of was the heaviness of Yuta’s grip on your hands.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, but you first felt your mind go blank. And then, everything that followed.

The pain in your chest had started to dissipate, your muscles seeming to relax considerably, the nauseous feeling in your gut slowly subsiding, relaxing the furrow in your brow. You were beginning to feel aware of your breathing, the air flowing into your lungs with more ease than before.

Once Yuta was absolutely sure, he dispersed the shadows, his gaze searching yours for a sign that you were okay.

“Thank you,” you murmured finally, Yuta visibly relaxing with the knowledge that you were feeling better.

A deep sigh left him, his hands squeezing yours gently before they let go, bringing them up to brush your hair away from your face.

“Wait, I think we should head back first,” he murmured, taking on a more joking tone, “wouldn’t want Chiron to find us here.”

It was only when you were back at your cabin did Yuta break the silence.

“What were you doing out there? It’s dangerous,” he frowned.

You huffed, glaring at him.

“I’m glad you know that.”

Yuta smiled. At least you had enough energy to glare at him, another sign that you were feeling better.

“Are you mad at me?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to maintain your glare, averting your gaze as you shook your head.

“No, I… I don’t know, I’m just glad you weren’t in any danger.”

Yuta scoffed, giving you a dismissive shrug, “We’re in the camp, how dangerous can it get?”

You frowned, swatting at him weakly.

“Don’t tempt fate, Yuta.”

He sighed, the smile lingering on his face as he pulled you into a hug, letting one of his hands cradle the back of your head, his other arm rubbing your back.

“Okay, okay,” his tone was purposefully patronising, making you roll your eyes, “seriously, though. Thank you for coming out to look for me… even though you really didn’t have to.”

It seemed crazy to Yuta, for you to have rushed into the shadows despite how fearful you were of it. For that he was even more grateful, more than you knew.

You nodded, cursing yourself at the relief that his embrace had given you, that his presence brought you, to the point of sending warm tears pricking at your eyes.

Cursing under your breath, you tried desperately to stop your tears from falling, biting on the inside of your cheek, blinking rapidly. None of that seemed to be working.

You didn’t have to say it out loud for Yuta to understand the reason behind your tears.

So when you tried dismissing how you were feeling, he wasn’t having any of it.

“Sorry, I don’t even know why I’m crying- I mean, I know I was getting better so I know it doesn’t make sense-”

You didn’t even realise he had called your name.

“Listen,” he said, patient, pleading, “grief isn’t… linear. I don’t know why you keep forcing yourself to believe it is.”

There it was again. Warmth, unfamiliar yet not unwelcome. Comfort that reached further into your soul than the cold could have.

You could only nod. You knew it was true.

“You have to be patient with yourself. It will take time, and I’m definitely not gonna hold that against you,” Yuta pulled away to look at you, giving you a smile you’d grown used to. This unwaveringly hopeful smile you had grown to love.

He would look out for you for long as you needed, Yuta thought, and as long as you would let him after that.

You nodded, a weak murmur leaving you.

“I know.”

His smile grew.

“As long as you know that, I’m happy.”

Yuta ignored the little prompting he felt within him to hold your hand, surprising himself by bringing his hand up to touch your cheek gently, letting his thumb smooth over the skin of your cheek.

Letting go of you, he gestured with a nod towards your cabin, “You had a long day, you should get some rest.”

You nodded, a deep sigh leaving you.

“Thank you again, Yuta,” you told him, and he knew you meant it.

He shook his head in dismissal, “Go ahead, it’s getting late.”

You slept well that night, for once not as disturbed by the darkness in your cabin, the warmth within your heart was much stronger than any fear that lingered.

===

In the middle of August, the cold wasn’t as harsh as before, but you still felt it in your bones with the breeze sometimes.

These days, you told Yuta, the ache had turned into more of a longing. A feeling of missing your loved one instead of the pain of their absence.

You were in a much different place than before.

Now, the fear of your dad seeing you was long gone. You found yourself missing his presence every now and then, a part of you wishing you could tell him all the things you would have normally told him when he was with you.

But you didn’t mind. You were thankful for the days where the memories of him were stronger, and just as thankful for the days where they weren’t.

Sometimes, you see him in your dreams. Different versions of him. On occasion, the version you knew in your childhood, boisterous, refined. Other times, the version you knew in your teenage years, strict but dependable.

You would always wake up in tears. But they weren’t bad tears, no. They were more cathartic.

Today, Yuta told you he had something to show you when the both of you had been at the beach.

You were a little skeptical at first, especially when he started walking before you into the water, your eyes widening.

“Should I be afraid?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, facing him as you stood where the water just covered your ankles.

Waist deep in the water, Yuta stretched out his arms to beckon you over, shaking his head.

“Nothing to be afraid of, I promise.”

Making your way closer to him, you shot him a feigned look of uncertainty just to tease him. You knew you trusted Yuta, even if you were both now standing deep in the cold waters on a breezy evening.

“How are you feeling?” he felt the need to ask, a certain determination evident in his gaze that you found somewhat comforting.

You shrugged.

“Curious?”

Yuta hummed, shrugging as well, “I guess that works too.”

Moving so he was standing beside you now, he had one hand on your back.

“If at any point of time you’re not comfortable, I need you to let me know and I’ll stop, okay?”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly but you nodded anyway, waiting for his next instruction.

“Okay, now I need you to lie on your back.”

Not without casting him one last skeptical look, you did as he told, leaning back and feeling your body be carried by the waves as you let yourself lie completely flat on the water, Yuta’s hand under your back just in case.

“Everything okay?”

His voice was muffled but you could more or less guess what he was saying.

“If you’re asking if everything’s okay, my answer is yes,” you told him, seeing him snicker (maybe you were speaking louder than you thought you were).

In your anxiousness, you looked at Yuta, seeing him gesture to his eyes.

He wanted you to close your eyes?

“My eyes?” you asked, again a little too loudly.

Yuta’s laughter was still infectious even as it was muffled by the water in your ears.

Closing your eyes, you felt Yuta’s hand leave your back, your heart beginning to thrum faster in anticipation for what was going to happen next.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but you knew magic was involved somehow when the water started feeling less like water, as if there was nothing supporting you.

You felt it first, your breath hitching when you felt an immense amount of love within you. A warmth in your chest, the heat of tears in your eyes that till now you could never say you were used to. There was no fear, no anger, just this overwhelming feeling of love.

You barely even had time to wonder what Yuta was trying to do because it was merely moments later when you heard the voice.

You almost thought you were imagining it, the voice that was slightly gravelly, rough and airy with age.

You recognized it instantly, your father’s voice.

Dad?

There was no answer, but you didn’t think you needed it.

After you called in your head, you felt the warmth almost immediately spread from your chest throughout your entire body, an overwhelming amount of emotions flooding you in that moment.

It was as if your soul recognized his.

You couldn’t see him. All you saw was darkness, but you weren’t scared because you could feel everything: the strong reminder that you were loved, that he was proud of you. Most of all, that you didn’t have to worry about him anymore, he was okay.

You couldn’t describe how the knowledge of that had made you feel. It was like an organ had been ripped out of you, this behaviour of yours to care for him and worry about him that was second nature to you, there was no need for that after you lost him and that made you feel helpless.

This part of you was being taken from you, but it. was also being replaced with much more. Something you would argue was an even harder pill to swallow- that it was time for you to care for yourself, to treat yourself with the love he wasn’t able to show you but so desperately wished he could have, and even more than that.

You didn’t know how long you spent in that state, clinging onto this soul-gripping feeling of his presence in a form that was stronger than anything you’d ever experienced.

Relief was slowly making its way through your heart, as if it was melting every last bit of the cold you still clung to for security.

It was surprising, how natural it felt when the thought came to you that he had to go, how you didn’t resist when it was time for you to say goodbye to him.

The feelings had dissipated all at once, leaving you with a tingling in your fingers and a sudden awareness of the water, the feeling of your body swaying gently with the waves and the sound almost seeming to return gradually to your senses.

You felt Yuta’s hand on your back slowly easing you into a standing position, the lack of water in your ears bringing other sounds to your awareness. You were crying, sobs leaving you as your shoulders shook while Yuta held you in his arms.

Your grip was weak, your hands trembling. Your heart was overflowing with love to the point where there were no words to describe what you were feeling.

You choked on your own sobs, unable to get coherent words out.

Yuta nodded, pulling away just enough that he could rest his forehead against yours, that you could see how his cheeks were also tear-stained, his eyelashes wet and his eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s okay,” he could barely muster a whisper with how exhausted he was, “you don’t have to explain it to me. I was there, I felt it too… all of it.”

You were past controlling your tears now, shutting your eyes and leaning into his touch, his arms holding you close and steady.

“You did so well,” he murmured, “so, so well.”

He was so glad all those days practicing at the beach had worked. 

You didn’t have to say it out loud for Yuta to know how you felt. Just the way your arms had wrapped tighter around him had spoken for itself.

===

When it was almost autumn, people welcomed the cold.

But it seemed, they grew colder too.

You were trying your best to ignore it, the way the rumours had seemed to get more spiteful, more annoyed.

But it was hard, especially when they seemed to follow you wherever you went, only ceasing when you were with Yuta. Nobody dared to get on his bad side, they respected (and feared) him more than you.

Currently, you were focused on finishing your dinner so you could meet Yuta at the field. But as time passed, you seemed to battle with your appetite the more the people at the table next to you had spoken.

“Seriously, she’s still at it?” one of them scoffed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N.”

“Oh… Honestly, it’s been months. I don’t know why she’s still keeping it up. It’s not like she’s the only one that lost a loved one before.”

“Precisely,” another camper chimed in, “she’s gotta get over it at one point. I’m seriously getting tired of all this negative energy in the camp.”

You took in a deep breath, trying to calm your thoughts.

“I mean, I thought her hanging out with Yuta would be good. You know, birds of a feather…”

“Whatever. Yuta’s probably just sticking around ‘cause he pities her. S’not like he has any other friends here anyway.”

You didn’t want to listen in anymore, standing up and steadying yourself as an unsettling feeling began to stir in the pit of your stomach.

You didn’t want to entertain the thoughts they’d put in your head but at the same time, you couldn’t help yourself. All this time that you’d spent with Yuta… you didn’t want to think it was because he pitied you, but it was a possibility, right?

Your pacing brought you to the field while your mind was busy running wild, your thoughts momentarily taking a darker turn when you spotted Yuta sitting in the middle of the field, legs stretched out in front of him with his book in between his legs, reading in that uncomfortable-looking position.

Looking up when he heard your footsteps, he gave you a wide smile in greeting, a hand coming up to wave at you.

There wasn’t any pity in that, was there?

You were annoyed now, reading too much into his actions just because of some things you heard some campers say.

Yuta detected this annoyance of yours rather quickly, judging from the look he gave you when you huffed out a greeting, slumping down on the grass next to him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“What do you think is wrong?” you retorted quickly, regretting your harshness almost immediately, “sorry, that was mean.”

Yuta didn’t seem very hurt by it, though. If anything, he was a little amused.

Raising an eyebrow at you in question, he fought the smile that was threatening to make its way on his features.

You huffed, your doubt getting the better of you. Deep down, you knew you trusted Yuta, it felt like you just needed a reminder why you did.

“I don’t need your pity, you know,” you told him pointedly.

Yuta’s eyebrows raised in surprise, his lips curving in a slight smile.

“Mind if I ask where this is coming from?”

You frowned.

“It’s coming from… from literally everywhere! The way everyone talks is like, you know, like they’re all so sure of it. That you’re only spending time with me because you see what a trainwreck I am and you pity me for it. Or… or that it’s because you’re just using me for company—” you stopped yourself short. You didn’t really believe that last part.

Yuta’s gaze remained patient, the hint of amusement still obvious in his eyes.

“Anything else?” he prompted, making your lips part before shaking your head.

“No,” your frown deepened.

Yuta let his smile show, pursing his lips, “I thought you said you didn’t care what everyone else was saying?”

You sighed, averting your gaze.

“I mean… yeah, I mean, I don’t but… I guess it just got to my head this time. I mean, of course I don’t want to think that you’re just with me because you pity me, not when—” you stopped yourself. Not when you felt so strongly towards him?  

Yuta nodded, “happens to the best of us,” he shrugged.

You wondered how he still seemed to be handling your outburst so well.

“For the record. I don’t pity you.”

You lifted your gaze to look at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Like… at all?”

In the same, unexpected nature of his, Yuta laughed.

Shaking his head at you, he let out a small sigh as he calmed down from his laughter. 

“Yes. I don’t. What I feel towards you… is nothing like pity.”

Yuta thought you looked a little like a deer in the headlights, eliciting another giggle from him.

“Frankly, I admire how strong you are.”

You frowned. Strong wasn’t a word you heard anyone describe you with before, especially recently.

“You look confused, are you confused?” Yuta asked, a slight teasing lilt to his tone.

Nodding at him, he shifted his body to face you more.

“I know what they’re saying. People always think that grief is something that just disappears after a while, hmm? That you’re supposed to work towards being able to say like it’s gone and that you’re all better now as if it was just some kind of flesh wound.”

You purse your lips, blinking harshly. Yuta always managed to see you better than you saw yourself.

“I think you know what I’m talking about better than anyone. Your grief didn’t just… disappear. And it’s not disappearing, it’s just… shifting forms. Dealing with that isn’t easy. For things to move from pain, to longing, to this feeling of absence, and most of the time all at once.”

It was nothing like you ever expected, the way he seemed almost to be looking directly at the state of your heart, saying all the things you hoped he knew and was comforted that he did.

He reached out a hand to pluck a leaf the size of his fingertip from your hair, a soft smile on his face, “All while you’re dealing with that, you continue to love. I mean, I would know because I see it for myself. You’re not different from how you were a year ago, you show your love the same way. That takes strength, and a whole lot of courage.”

You felt your throat start to tighten again, the lump in your throat making your frown deepen, your vision blurring with tears.

You were different now, weren’t you? How could he say that with such confidence? That you weren’t different from the person you were a year ago. You thought you were, especially after going through something that was so traumatic to you.

“I know you’re probably thinking that you are different because of what happened, but I didn’t mean it that way. What I meant was… if you think pity is what makes me want to spend time with you, to do things with you, to care for you. You couldn’t be more wrong,” he let out a huff of laughter, his gaze making that familiar static buzz return to your chest, the kind that paralysed you but in a way you didn’t refuse.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his hands coming up to touch your face, the cold of his hands not dulling the warmth of his actions.

“You are much more… so much more than what you’re healing from… and I love you for all of that.”

Your tears seemed to flow faster now, the heat in your chest returning, the feeling of the love you had for the boy sitting before you. You weren’t going to say you didn’t deserve it or anything, you were just extremely thankful that you had the joy of experiencing this.

“My dad likes you a lot,” you murmured, your voice weak with fatigue. You weren’t sure where you were going with this, but you had a vague idea. You trusted yourself to get there eventually.

Yuta hummed, the laughter that left him making a smile grace your features as well.

“I do too,” you added.

Yuta’s eyebrows raised, one of his hands moving from your face to run his fingers through your hair, the reminder of the soft delphinium petals returning to him.

“You like me?” he grinned.

You nodded.

“Love,” you murmured.

Yuta’s eyes had practically lit up, finding it difficult for him to stop smiling even after he’d pulled you closer to him so he could wrap your arms around you and you could rest your head where you could hear his heart thrumming wildly.

In Yuta’s arms, you were reminded that most times, the cold was a prelude to warmth, both of which were needed. But above all, you were reminded of the need for pruning to allow growth, of presence, of healing. Of love.

[alluringjae]

until dawn; pt. II - ljn

part I | part II

⤑ summary: basic number one rule of the museum is not to touch the art. but no one told jeno that falling for one of them isn’t allowed either.

⤑ pairing: jeno x female reader

⤑ word count: 12.2k

⤑ genre: ANGST, fluff, romance, smut (f receiving, dom!jeno waow, dirty talk, wrap it everyone) | broke architecture major!jeno, historical figure!reader, enemies to lovers!au, college!au, night at the museum-inspired!au

⤑ warnings: references to actual historical figures, explicit language, graphic details, major heartbreak caused by another party, expect time jumps too

⤑ author’s note: happy jeno day!! i’ve been so excited to post this part, and i’m happy we’re here!! perhaps, this is the last long fic i’ll write for a while so i can rest, but i’ll still be posting short stories within the weeks to come! i’m excited for may to say the least hehe

btw, for the smut scene (indicated with **), i highly recommend you listen to strange (feat. hillary smith) by kris bowers!! this song is from the bridgerton soundtrack, and oh man, the feels!!

with that, enjoy!

italicized text either means they are personal notes or flashbacks.

this was meant to be more angsty, but either way, i screamed every time i wrote something gut-wrenching.

⤑ taglist: @renjunniehome

​ ⤑ ctto above!!

⤑  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

“You ready to get your butt beaten by me, Lee?”

“Prepare your final words when I win instead, (Y/L/N).”

Mischievous banter exchanged between you two became a new norm. Almost every night, someone within the art pieces established a contest over anything and it released the competitive sides of you two. So far, Jeno has been winning. Not like it hurt your pride, but maybe just once, you could conquer one game to feel better. Not only that, there’s a mini penalty for the loser. So far, you’ve cleaned up the lobby yourself and acted cutely to everyone the entire evening (or aegyo as Jeno called it).

Tonight, a game of archery was held by the Greek gods. They pushed away any extra pieces away, leaving the whole room vacant with two boards right beside Zeus’ throne. Numerous arrows were produced and sharpened, Zeus in the center announced to everyone participating.

“It’ll be 1 on 1 games. First to go are Jeno vs (Y/N), followed by Athena vs. Hermes, Cleopatra vs. Freddie, and last would be Hades vs Aphrodite.”

Cutting the chase, you didn’t expect Jeno to be that good at archery. Sure, he told you that he took classes with his friends for fun when he was younger, though it showed that he’s a fast learner and even hit one bullseye in the middle of the game.

Not slightly threatened until the last rounds, you fixed your aim and lessened your overthinking when preparing to shoot. Thus, you scored 2 bullseyes shot. It was a close fight, having the audience on the edge on their feet again because it’s the two of you. Your dynamic with the night guard always elevated the mood, shifting their bets over and over again.

By 1 point, you received your first victory against Jeno. Unlike you, he showcased his sportsmanship sweetly without any comments of disbelief. He’s never bragged about anything big in his life, not unless it’s a high grade for his plate. Normally, he celebrated wins in a laid-back manner. But don’t be fooled: he loves giving penalties.

“This is why I don’t make bets with my friends because I really go for their weak spots.”

“You’re cynical, Lee Jeno.”

“Only if you’re close to me, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Aren’t we already past that stage?”

Almost halfway through his job, he sustained a meaningful friendship with you. Out of everyone, you were his default person to hang out within the nights he had a shift. If he wasn’t present, he made sure to give you small treats or gifts as much as possible. An innocent friendship, it was that the world would’ve never believed in.

Or was it?

“To celebrate your win, what do you want me to do?”

“You’re too kind for me to play around with, even if you’re the complete opposite of me.”

“I’ll make it simple and worthwhile since I don’t know when I’ll win a game again.” As your finger tapped your temple as you pondered deeply, a smart idea came through. “Grant me 3 wishes.”

He chuckled, lowering himself to view you better. “Am I like some genie now to you?”

“No room to complain, I won, didn’t I?” You grinned, raising one brow to show your dominance.

“You’re petty in your own way, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps. Now come on, I want to use my first wish.” You shrugged it off like no big deal, loving the high feeling of triumph. You lead him to the center of the lobby, where a beautiful grand piano only selected people get to play during exhibits. “Open the museum piano.”

Ever since you were brought to life, you never used it. Tempting but because people from the outside might here, maybe it’s time to try something new. A new challenge, and besides, you missed entertaining people through it. The last time you touched the delicate piano keys was to your family before you ran away.

It’s a good thing that in the shackle of keys Jeno held, the needed key was there. Unlocking the lustrous black instrument, you sat by the matching black bench. Crackling your fingers, you tested by pressing a few keys to get the hang of it again.

“What are you planning to play, (Y/N)?” Jeno leaned against the side, his arms crossed.

Humming the first notes of your piece, the nostalgia ran through your veins. “Nocturne No. 2 in E flat by Chopin.”

Your fingers took off and played each chord slowly and calmly. This piece reminded you the most of your mother, who sat by the couch in front of your old piano with your father while guests from the party they hosted crowded around you. Being the youngest, they often requested you to perform as entertainment so you always put your best foot forward. Or so you tried.

Nevertheless, no one else in your family was capable to play this piece as perfectly as you. By the way your eyes closed and your body swayed to the mellow tune, Jeno observed how you memorized this piece by heart. A passionate flame you were, outshining every pianist out there.

He wasn’t surprised at how multi-talented you were, though there’s a different kind of aura you present when you played the instrument. From your hard and tough front, you could be soft and sweet to the right people.

In a way, you showed your comfort toward the boy by serenading him with the piano. Sketching him with him in the past was one thing, but this was another. You’d sketch with people you’ve grown used to, but you play piano to people you want to cherish in your life. As dangerous as it seems, Jeno was someone special to you, only wanting to have good moments with him.

Junmyeon will always have a huge part in your museum life, but Jeno filled the emptiness that he left behind. This loneliness for a human friend vanquished thanks to Jeno, and you didn’t want to jeopardize it at all. Sure, whenever he acted like a gentleman around you, let you inside the Foreign Art Room, or brought you food sometimes, you couldn’t help feel honored.

Though lately, every time he showed off his strength when he defeated Zeus and Hades during an arm wrestle game the god held again. You seriously had to catch a breath at every flex his arms made, like the goddesses. Maybe how he pushed his black hair back when he’s drawing another plate, you’d give yourself a few extra seconds to see his long fingers skim through them. He’d bit his lower lip when he’s in too deep with his creativity, wondering if he’d bite the lower lip of the girl he’d ki-

All right, (Y/N), relax. Maybe you’re thinking this way because it’s been decades since your last relationship. You wouldn’t want to fall for another possible trap and hurt yourself again, right?

Ever since this job, Jeno’s university life drastically changed. Yes, he still hung out with his friends and performed extremely well in his classes, though he prioritized anything related to the museum wherever he was. If they were drinking out, he’d buy an extra bottle of soju for you on his way back to the dorm. Rarely does he get shitfaced anyways.

If he and Renjun visited the bookstore to purchase pens or any art-related materials, he always bought either an extra sketchpad or set of pens. Even if you were simply a figure to everyone else, he appreciated the bond you both developed.

Every night, he’d tell you about his day from the start. Normally, it consisted of a lot of schoolwork and coffee, some stories about his roommates too. Speaking of them, he’d insert a lot of humorous words about his entire group of friends, whom you learned their names too.

Mark, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung, Chenle, and Donghyuck, each of them presented a different color in their group. Jeno, who’d admitted to being shy and quiet, grew out of his shell because of them. A friend of Jeno’s would automatically be a friend of yours, if only you were allowed to leave the museum or become a human.

Jeno learned more about your past explorations that never got documented because you no longer had an interest in jotting them down. They were adventures you’d kept to yourself, memories only close to you then would know. Except now, Jeno was another addition. You’re not the type to instantly open to people, though again, a sense of relief surrounded him every time you encounter each other. It grew gradually like a warm hug, softening your heart and breaking your walls.

The more he spent time with you, nothing feared Jeno the slightest. He’s always maintained himself intact, avoiding lines to be crossed and giving respect to those who deserve it. However, he began to question himself where exactly his feelings lie with you after Jaemin tried to set him up on a blind double date just so the best friend of his date wouldn’t feel left out.

He’s rarely one to get crushes on people, even when other girls in his college openly showed their affection towards him. Valentine’s Day or his birthday, several girls sent him chocolate or flowers. Jaemin and Renjun got sick of girls reaching out to them first so they could reach him. It’s not because he’s not the dating type, but because he’s so goal-oriented that unlike his roommates, he doesn’t have a slight clue about dating.

Though one-night stands while at a party and dating were completely different, he’d still say he had experience with girls. Plus having an older sister, he never took advantage of them. He’d rather tell them in person that the feelings weren’t mutual than ghosting them. He’s not like Jaemin anyways.

With that, he’s so lost when his heart beats twice as fast the second you’ve woken up from your posing slumber. He doesn’t comprehend how flustered he’d be when you highly insist to help him with his plate or how cute he finds it when you’re playing fetch with Mochi. On top of it, when you chose to sketch each other for one of your sketching sessions, he’d take a longer stare at your visage before he drew some strokes.

A lot of historical accounts mentioned how your beauty was the standard of the Victorian era, wherein you were the jewel of your neighborhood and numerous men wanted your hand. Women envied you, especially having high intelligence skills that were equivalent to a man. That time, that felt like a threat to most men. Though surprisingly, it turns out there were men who liked intelligent girls.

Jeno knew he liked you as a friend, though liking you past that he didn’t intend. Nor was it allowed because it’ll break one of the golden rules. Before he’d go beyond contemplating, he had to stop himself. This was so unlike him. The feelings will fleet away, he’d repeat to himself. Don’t waste a great friendship because of your silly emotions.

Individually, both of you swallowed these harboring feelings down your guts and simply kept your friendship status safe. Doing your typical activities or whatever else you could think of, none of you minded to change it whatsoever.

Unknown to you though, it was obvious to the other art pieces ones that you two practically passed off as young lovers. Although they know that pushing one towards the other went against the rules, Aphrodite begged to differ.

“Holding them back from expressing what they really feel just because of the law here is a tragedy. They should at least try, you know?”

On another typical night, Jeno invited you to the Theater Room for a movie marathon. After finding out that you’ve never seen any moving pictures, he wanted to be there to introduce it. Luck was on his side to not have plates or requirements due for the week and everyone was behaving themselves, so he started with rolling out short films from the 88mm projector. Having premade popcorn and drinks, the two of you shared roars of laughter and emotional tears.

Switching to the cd player for longer and clearer films, you’d opt to believe that you were born at the wrong time. With all these advancements, it came with a lot of new beliefs. One of them was allowing women to study and work. Then again, she was a pioneer according to historians. Without her, it wouldn’t help shape society as it is today.

Nonetheless, this movie Jeno played on the big screen was what he defined as “one of the classics”, 10 Things I Hate About You.

This outspoken character named Kat was presenting a poem to her class, trying to hold in her raw emotions towards Patrick, the boy who broke her heart. Too engaged, you didn’t notice how Jeno stretched his arms out so he could wrap one around your shoulder. Not that you were complaining, his warmth reassuring you safety.

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.” The way she attempted to keep her strong ground only reminded you of where you were weeks ago, especially once she excruciatingly broke down.

“I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.” Only when you leaned back to the chair, you felt his arm. His thumb caressing your covered shoulder, you peeked him a little bit. His eyes fixated on the screen, absorbed in the acting and how Kat’s tears weren’t scripted as she stormed out of the classroom.

Not that you were her, but it sparked the past memory of how you merely disliked him because of his job. But as a person, not even close, not even once did you hate him. How blessed that he never judged you for it, staying patient all this time.

Right before he could look back at you, you moved your face back to resume your watching. Jeno definitely noticed what you did, though not sure as to why. Whatever it was, it wasn’t harmful.

Once the film ended, Jeno checked his watch for the time. 4 am, he wanted to do something else now instead of film viewing. You were on par with it, wanting to walk it out after being seated for hours. As you both cleaned up and bid the posters outside goodbye, the doors to the museum were locked unexpectedly. Impossible on Jeno’s half because he had the keys for every room, but he double-checked his bunch.

Alas, the keys for these doors specifically were missing. But there was no other way anyone could’ve gotten it, plus it’s not like the last person he talked to, which was Aphrodite, would need it.

Or did she?

Rather than putting any blame on each other, your only wish now was to return to your section before sunrise. You and he could just relax momentarily before yelling for help.

“Maybe we should watch another film first?”

“Alright, you choose while I return the rest.”

As Jeno inserted the cd of Cinema Paradiso inside, the background music of the opening played. He hummed the first notes, already feeling the love from this film. Another must-see classic as recommended by Renjun, he wanted to rewatch it with you.

Slowly returning each cd and film roll to their respective drawers, the melodious theme had you waltzing in the small space. Even beyond your life, classical music never gets old. Aging like fine wine, sounding spectacular as time passes because of people’s creativity.

Jeno gazed over your sudden movements, smiling uncontrollably at how immersed you were as you multi-tasked. However, you took a wrong turn by the desk and almost dropped a priceless film roll. But before you fully slipped and fell, a pair of strong arms caught you at the right time. Panting from the nerves, mostly when he was inches from your face. Never has he pressed his body this close to you to protect you, and never have you seen his captivating eyes this up close.

As enchanting as the background music of Ennio Morricone was, it only became noise once Jeno took ahold of the film roll on your hand and placing down on the desk. Taking another step closer, you were backed up by the edge. Not to mention how his height dignified his impact on you, your arms were still situated by your side with nowhere else to go.

That was until his finger elevated your chin so he could meet you on eye-to-eye level. His other hand gripping your waist, you became brave enough to place your hands by his broad shoulders. Licking your lips, you glanced at his lips quickly. But he noticed it, and as risky as this was, it was a leap of faith to take.

“May I kiss you?”

Always such a gentleman, even when he already knew how much you desired him through your returning affections. Calming your breath patterns by the speed of everything occurring, you came back to your senses. He’s the one who constantly told you not to forget your roots, so you were going to take this one.

You trust him, and he does too.

“Yes.”

Since the first film, some kind of tension increased the closer he moved or intimate his actions were towards you. You kept pushing it back in hopes not to ruin what you both have. But it only turned out to be mutual, especially how none of you held back as soon as his lips passionately clashed yours.

Tangling your arms around his neck, you stood on your tiptoes to press even closer to him. Feeling his lively heart pumping against your hollow chest, you bit his lower lip. Something you’ve secretly craved to do, he growled from the pleasure. He hoisted your waist to the desk, his impatient hands earnestly traveling all over your body. While your legs locked around his torso, your feisty nature leaned back so your entire body lied on the small desk.

Jeno was on top, placing one hand down to hold himself while the other squeezed your waist firmly. Even if you’re made of wax, you’re like an actual living woman at night. Everything about you becomes real until dawn. You emitted vulgar moans, giving him more access to your neck. Peppering a mix of soft to hard kisses, your hand teasingly snaked under his shirt. He really wasn’t joking when he bragged that he was quite ripped since he enjoyed sports and going to the gym, cupping a part of his toned abdomen.

“If you want something, all you have to do is ask.” He sluggishly sucked the area between your ear and neck, one of your weakest spots. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

The growing moistness in between your legs left a stain in your panties, trying to close your legs out of embarrassment. It’s been decades since you’ve been stimulated like this. However, Jeno beat you to it as he trailed the hand that was on your waist and lowering it right above your covered sex. He cupped it agonizingly slow, making you folding your leg from the pleasure. For a man who doesn’t date around, he knew exactly what he’s doing.

“I just kissed you, and you’re already this soaked. Can you handle me, baby?”

As the strong woman that you present yourself to be, it would selfishly take the right touch from the right man to weaken you. With his savage lips back on yours while your hands clutched on his shirt, he was simply waiting for a verbal answer, yet driving you completely mad. Everything was happening so fast, and here he was to please you in anywhere you seem fit.

You were deprived, and oh, you needed it more than ever.

However, seconds before you replied, there was loud rumbling from the main doors which stopped your devilish antics. As Jeno moved back from you to see the ruckus, you lifted yourself back up, pulling back your dress sleeves and flattening out the creases. The last thing you wanted was a trail of familiar red marks from the aggressive male, finding any reflective surfaces to check.

“I wouldn’t be that dumb to leave you hickies now, would I?” Jeno ended your worries as he placed his hands by your side again. His face leaned towards yours again, reliving the warmth in your cheeks. His lips were plumper, catching traces of your coral lipstick smudged there down to his jaw. He slotted himself again between your legs, grazing a hand on your waist and the other to your warm cheek. “The door’s unlocked now, and it’s 5 am. Do you want to clean up now?”

You playfully scoffed, aware that neither of you had plans to do that yet. Such a player while in the heat of the moment.

“Spare me 15 more minutes with you first.”

Hiding the romance you’ve both built failed without trying. Aphrodite spotted all the signs from your open physical affection and words of admiration, calling you two out in front of everyone without shame. She is the goddess of love, after all. You couldn’t fool her even if you tried.

Plus, she’s the one who locked the two of you up in the Theater Room that night. But neither of you know that.

“Sketch my ideal home?” Jeno bent down to the table, testing out his newly bought pens so they wouldn’t spill.

“Isn’t that why you decided to pursue Architecture in the first place? Come on now!” You pestered across him, opening your new sketchpad since your last one ran out of pages. As expected, Jeno bought you one when he went to the bookstore. As much as you insisted not to because he should use the money somewhere else, he did it anyway. He loved your works, encouraging you in any way he could.

When he was reminded of his humble beginnings of his passion for architecture by you, never had he envisioned exactly how his perfect home would be like. Settling down was so far beyond his mind, only focusing to graduate university then study for the licensure exams. However, he did miss drawing something for fun, not as a requirement. He also was the one who took charge of designing his dorm.

“Fine, only if you draw what your ideal home would’ve been if you never left London.”

Now as lovers, the only addition to your relationship were the public and private exchanges of affection. Deep conversations, film viewing, back and forth banter, you’re both still the same competitive duo everyone expected to be together. In public, the two of you held hands, hugged, kissed each other cheeks too when it felt right. Cleopatra’s face of fake nausea was priceless every time, while Princess Diana, Anne, and Katherine enjoyed it. It’s been years since they’ve seen this glow of adoration in you. Bit by bit, you’re going back to the old you. Except now, you’re a lot stronger.

Perhaps, this version of you proved wrong for the need for romance. Even if you made the choice not to settle down then, it would’ve been different if Jeno was in your universe then.

“Are you done there?” Jeno asked while you were finishing up your masterpiece. Life in London sounded fun when you were younger, having all these ideas on interior design and the like. An innocent time.

Instead of replying, you strode to his side and compared your pieces together. He pictured a two-story home, with a backyard and rooftop area. He definitely wanted to stay in the city as his whole life was based there. Although you preferred living in the countryside more for more freedom, you gave it a shot by pinpointing every detail of a wealthy typical Victorian-era home you liked. You desired a spacious lobby with a grand staircase in the middle, a crystal chandelier there too. The living room would have a small library and a grand piano, where wide doors leading to the grasslands were beside it.

Considering you two lived from different times, in a way your ideal homes were similar. Somewhere private, surrounded by nature and minimal furniture, you’re curious as to how it would look if the two of you fused them together. A mix of old and new, will it look pretty?

“What will look pretty?” Jeno questioned your random thought, looking back and forth at your sketches. “You know who’s pretty though?”

“If you say what I think you’re going to say, I’m lea-”

“You.”

Jeno has gotten flirtier since that night, always finding the right opportunity to flatter you. Although you denied them out of embarrassment, the butterflies in your stomach can’t lie to you.

You’re so smitten, and so was he.

Jeno’s always one to follow the rules, but so far, he’s been breaking some of them already.

Just last night, he gave Renjun access to the lively museum because he needed more research regarding you. Initially, he practically interviewed Jeno for every piece of information he gathered because he used to be so deep in the books to study everything about you. Now in the past, Renjun still couldn’t forget how Jeno drunkenly admitted how crazy he was going to be over you and your coldness whilst sobering up in the dorm.

He didn’t understand one bit by that, especially when you’re technically dead. But by the sight of the first piece Renjun saw alive, which was Zeus, he almost passed out. Piece by piece, he viewed these artworks come to life from his fresh eyes. Right before he could’ve screamed when Athena shot a lightbulb in their exhibit, you happily called out Jeno’s name.

Renjun froze on the spot upon seeing your wax figure come to life. He’s browsed through this museum numerously due to the new exhibits, but lately, he checked your section out to find any tiny details that were linked to your life. Aside from the sketchpad, compass, and hairpins, he wanted to know if there was more to your life as an explorer.

As human interactions except the night guard weren’t allowed, Renjun needed help for his project in Women Studies. Just like Jeno’s assignment, you aided him. Fruitfully answering every question he gave you, Athena popped out of nowhere to inspect Jeno.

“I see you’re breaking another rule.”

“I’m sorry, Athena. He was desperate, and it would be selfish of me to let him fail.”

“This is the last one I’ll let slide, alright?” Athena huffed, not impressed by the reckless behavior Jeno acquired over time. She saw this coming, but for a change, she couldn’t punish him. He was a young adult, still learning more about life. Only will she step in if things turn for the worst. “I can’t believe I’ve gained a soft spot for you.”

Jeno laughed, hugging the figure like his older sister. “You love me though!”

Glad to say, Renjun aced his project and kept his word of not telling anyone about the happenings in Jeno’s job. Jeno even made a makeshift non-disclosure contract so Renjun wouldn’t spill the slightest details.

Lately, so much has been happening in the museum that having alone time with each other was rare. And when you did, the two of you made sure to maximize it and make every intimate moment count. From each touch, each longing kiss, each moan, and groan, never were you left hanging whether you’re at the Theater Room, Jeno’s office, or the Foreign Art Room.

The only time the two of you went beyond the boundaries was at the indoor garden. Jeno managed to get the key to it, lighting up some candles before you invited you inside. Thanks to the magic of the Greek gods, the cameras were bewitched to display fake imageries when security checks in the morning after.

Upon your deep conversations, you’ve mentioned once or twice about the indoor garden. It was the latest addition of the museum, opening in the early 2000s. Because it was a sacred place, no art piece was ever allowed inside.

Yet again, Jeno challenged the rules again when he invited you inside. A few minutes before, he set up some lights along the hallway of the garden, where he placed a blanket, a picnic basket, and his laptop right at the end of it. The best place to view everything, he just knew you’d love it.

He was undoubtedly right once you gasped at such a pretty sight. Seeing the silhouettes of various flowers and plants together with the night sky with all the stars sparkling, it was like you’re attending another ball with your sisters, who were looking for suitors then.

Once Jeno leisurely led you until the end, he brought out all the delicacies from the basket. One of them was this Italian savory dish of dough with toppings such as cheese and pepperoni, or pizza as they named it. The next ones were fresh strawberries and melted chocolate, followed by grape juice.

“I’d drink actual alcohol with you again, only if I didn’t get shitfaced and do my job properly.”

“Point taken. Besides, this is close enough. So pour me a drink please.”

Perhaps this was the closest to a date Jeno could ever ask you out to. With the restrictions and being constrained with time, he brainstormed all sorts of ways to bring the outside world to you. From simply letting you wander around this fascinating room, he unleashed the inner romantic in him. None of his friends would’ve thought since they never asked him about it, so he kept it to himself only. Finally, he’s satisfied with what he prepared. After eating, the two of you would watch more films before the sun rose again.

You’re just the right person for him at the moment he can act that way.

After your quiet stroll and sitting back down, Jeno surprisingly handed you a tiny box.

“A gift?”

“Open it.” He sipped on his juice, paying attention to your actions. Gently untying the box, the amazement in your eyes couldn’t fathom such a lovely present. No words were required to verify that Jeno outdid himself again, just your facial expression alone is enough.

When Jeno said that he pays attention to the tiny details, he doesn’t bluff. Throughout your growing relationship, you’ve cited how you wanted another special flower in your life. Just because you couldn’t view lavender roses the same way ever again, it didn’t mean you wanted to kick them out of your life. Flowers were one of nature’s beautiful creations, so you’re wishing to find the love you once had for lavender roses in other ones.

Thus, you came across what you thought held the highest form of meaning: red roses. Despite its thorns, it’s still a marvelous flower. Innocently, you told him that just because of the memory of your father giving them to your mother on her birthday yearly.

Red roses represented true love and romance, a discreet message only those eager would know.

Jeno was one of them, which was why he reserved this gift for this very moment. It was a necklace he found through a college fair recently, a subtle red rose pendant in the center. Since he couldn’t give you huge gifts, he settled for something light. Something none of the guards or the director wouldn’t pinpoint out when they do their inspections.

“Do you like it?”

Not one utter from your mouth since you’re so hypnotized, your lips quirked up in a charming smile. “Is that even a question? This is astonishing, Jeno.”

After you attempted to put it around your neck, Jeno sighed and stepped in to help you out. “Turn around, (Y/N). Let me.”

The tension gradually heightened once you held your hair up so Jeno accessibly viewed your clean neck. Clasping the lock, it took all his might to hold himself back from you. Even from behind, your silhouette was attractive to him. The lights he set up weren’t helping the slightest of what he’s thinking to do with you.

“Done.” He breathily whispered in your ear.

**

If he thought he was the only one feeling something powerful, he’d be more than wrong. The lingering sensation of his slim fingers gracing your décolletage area unhinged another kind of want, the one you’ve only imagined in your mind when you were needy and alone. It shouldn’t be a sin unless you’re with the person you’ve fallen for, right?

Facing him again, the eye contact didn’t last long when you were the first one to strike a move. Jeno kissed back right away, his hands pulling you closer by your waist. Whatever sultry music Jeno played, it gave you the perfect momentum to grind on his lap. He groaned against kisses, adding his tongue. His thumbs sensually rubbed your hipbones, one of your hands toying around with his hair while the other one balled up his shirt by the chest. None of you cared if anyone caught you.

The last time you’ve been this aggressive was at the Theater Room, which eventually increased the hidden lust you’ve had towards each other. Taking things slowly at first, it’s about time to delve in for more. The mood was already set from the start, even if Jeno didn’t plan this to happen here. But being the prepared man he is, he did have a condom in his back pocket.

Your fingers trailed from his neck until his crotch. He was hard, sensing how suffocated he must be. But he kept himself in control. Locking eye contact, you sweetly spoke.

“Grant my second wish, Jeno.” That same hand of yours held one of his, planting it in your breast. “Make love to me.”

Giving the go-signal, he crashed his lips on yours while stripping you off your dress. Carefully, he turned you around to untie your tight corset. Once it fell, your neck leaned sideways as his lips attacked it madly. Your breaths were tremulous, placing both his hands on your freed breasts to knead with. His touch felt like fire on your skin, yet you couldn’t stop.

“Jeno,” Obscene moans from your lips choked out. You desired more, shifting back to face him again to attack his lips. Slowly feeling one of his hands laying you down, you spread your legs with ease just for him. He parted after your head landed on the cushion to unbutton himself. The way your mouth dropped to selfishly stare at his bare body, flexing them before getting back into position. He was fit and toned just as Cleopatra predicted.

As much as Jeno knew how wild your thoughts were getting, he was more taken aback by your perky chest.

“Fuck, you are divine.” He sucked one nipple as his fingers ventured to slip your panties down. So much was going on, you didn’t know which stimulated you more. You tried to close your legs around his hand, but he slapped your inner thigh to stop you.

The cool breeze shivered you, especially from your core. Jeno’s fingers adventurously grazed from your hip area to your lower lips. He teasingly rubbed it up and down in your essence, his index finger settling it right at your needy clit. Another moan escaped your lips, an opportunity for Jeno to slide his tongue in your mouth. Enjoying the moment, his fingers dipped inside you. A gasp broke your kiss, making him giggle in your ear.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Oh, angel. The things I want to do with you.”

Sliding them back and forth, curling it even, you squirmed for more. Dropping himself to meet your core, Jeno placed your legs on his shoulder. Pushing you closer, his steamy breath felt like friction. Your hips grinded against it, so he gripped on them so you stay put.

“Angel,” He chuckled darkly, his crotch tightening at how powerless you looked. “You’re so pretty.”

You were drenched from arousal. But to Jeno, you were glowing under the lights. He wanted to take his time to admire what he had done to you. His independent girl, only weak for him.

His fingers unfolded in your lower lips, diving in to your orbit. You could hardly speak from his skilled mouth, especially his tongue savagely lapping your clit in numerous paces. You’ve only daydreamed about what it could do aside from kissing, and it exceeded your expectations. By the heated sensation that had the heels of your feet digging his back deeply, you affirmed to have seen more stars than the night sky above you.

Your back arched uncontrollably while his hands grasped your hips to stay in place, the tears in your eyes formulating while tugging on his hair. Your thighs clenched around his face, but his broad shoulders widened it to taste more of you. No use of pulling away when his grip on you was tight, so you could only cry out from the pleasure.

“Fuck!”

The ringing sounds in your off were going off, your throat drying up from moaning once another orgasm was about to hit. Once the knot in you snapped, nothing could hold back your screams of pleasure whilst panting for air. Sensitive as he licked every remaining essence he caused, he smirked as he got up to unbuckle his jeans.

Oh, boy. He got quite a package behind his boxers.

Even while you were overly sensitive, you had to grasp it in your hands. He was yours, and you were his.

The way you clenched around his protected length, pausing to readjust yourself to the feeling. The foreplay deemed helpful, though the girth of him overwhelmed you. He stretched you out so good.

“Are you okay, (Y/N)?” The stunned face you made was expected, still feeling worried that it may be too much.

Biting your lip, you moaned once everything felt bearable. “You can move, Jeno.”

None of you could track exactly how many rounds you went through. Even in the semi-public area, it didn’t hinder either of you. There’s that thrill, and surprisingly enough, you both shared the liking of it. Always switching the positions, you decided to call it quits after another sloppy round in missionary. Something seeing Jeno on top, fully submitting yourself to him, made you feel calm to be vulnerable. It’s really the trust you’ve established from the start, making you rely on humans again once you’ve let the past be.

Jeno brought out another blanket, initially meant for cuddling. It was still applicable though, curling your body into a spoon towards his racing chest. Music was no longer noise, the intimacy creeping back instead of lust this time. The afterglow of Jeno, sweaty and knackered as his legs sprawled under the sheet, was a sight for sore eyes. He’s always been handsome while on duty, but post-sex gave him an extra boost.

Plus there’s pride from the red marks courtesy of you on his chest, grazing over it softly.

Jeno chuckled softly at your smooth fingers, lifting them up to kiss them tenderly before kissing your lips again. Only humans were capable of and to love, but you’re some kind of an exception. Regardless of the magic from the plate, you’d be able to love too if it weren’t for your background.

There’s so much love Jeno wanted to offer you, even if he hasn’t said it out loud yet.

Perhaps one reason was because time was beginning to tick. Finals were a few weeks away, then the one-month long semestral break until a new semester kicks off. Time really flew by, and his bank account and heart expanded too. Enjoying the now was all he could think of doing, but those uncertainties bothered him.

The biggest would be where you and he would stand when his job ended.

Jeno was too absorbed in his internal debate, as portrayed by his eyes staring off in space and running his hand in his hair repeatedly. Something was disturbing him, and you’re concerned as to what it was.

“Jeno,” Around his arm, you tapped his chest to get him out of it. “What’s going on in your head?”

Jeno approached every obstacle he faces straightforwardly, not wanting to let him hold back. Rarely did he keep secrets, especially from you. Instead of hiding away, he voiced it out.

“(Y/N), will we work out?”

“What do you mean, Jeno?”

You’re so occupied in the present that thinking of the future was never in your field. Like him, you’re just enjoying being in the moment. Though after tonight, it’s making you wonder if there’s a future.

“Well,” He placed his hand on top of yours, affectionately observing you. “Times flies faster when you’re having fun, and well, the semester is ending.”

His last words crushed a part of your heart, remembering his initial plan. None of you expected your friendship to bloom into what it is now, but life was just full of surprises without a schedule. At the same time, none of you wouldn’t have it any other way.

It may have been a few months since you two committed to each other, but the spark was still strong. It wasn’t like a summer romance kind of feeling. Time was not a determinant of love either, which you were certain of it with Jeno. A lot more than Junmyeon.

It should’ve frightened you when you realized your love for Jeno, but it didn’t. Even if you didn’t age physically, your mindset did. You’ve learned to forgive your younger self, and through Jeno, you let your guard down completely. From that, you let love in. Platonic to your fellow art pieces, and all of the above to Jeno.

Throughout your relationship, you regained all confidence in yourself and everything you set your mind to.

“I wouldn’t want to worry too much about it if I were you.” Your body flipped to lie on your stomach, resting your head on your palm.

“Why shouldn’t I, angel?”

Gazing back at him, you left a velvety kiss on his lips to rest his thoughts. His hand wrapped your neck, deepening it. But you pulled away with a giggle, all too knowing of his secret intentions as his cock began to harden again. His eyes narrowed down and his lower lip stuck out at your attempt of being a tease.

But enough about sex, you wanted to address a point.

Lee Jeno was going to be the biggest risk you wanted to take and fight for, and no one should try to stop you.

“I’ll ask Circe for a potion. For me, for you, for us.”

If it weren’t for insistent questioning towards every art piece, who kept their mouths shut, only Circe herself banished him from his suffering. Her series of potions varied, and the one you requested years ago which you threw out was capable of turning any art piece into a living human. No potion of Circe ever failed, so you entrusted your life for the day you do drink it.

“Are you sure, angel?”

Jeno knew about that one specifically, and as great to hear that you never threw it out, he never put pressure on you. He wanted you to do whatever felt right, even if deep down, he wished you’d use it. He was only worried about how the flow of the entire museum would be disrupted.

Typical Jeno always looking out for you, but you saw right through his concern. Here you were, caressing his check as reassurance. With an honest smile,

“I’ve never been more certain with anything in my life here until you came, Lee Jeno.”

Jeno opened up more to his life outside the museum, telling all sorts of experiences not just his days as a university student. From his childhood, his family, his travels, heck you even want to meet his friends at this point!

Newly, he shared with you how the sunrise and sunset looked like in Seoul with much vivacity. It’s a luxury as a human to witness as day breaks and ends, so you could imagine by yourself how it would look like. Sure, you had drawings and all, but that was from the real (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

This version of you wanted to live more; that’s your greed now.

“You’ve never touched snow too, right?” Jeno, who had his arm wrapped around you, silently watched the first batch of snow from inside.

“Yup, that’s the thing when you’re imprisoned in this place.” You sulked by his side, earning a chuckle from him who pulled you in closer.

“Don’t tell me now that you despise this place.”

“I don’t, but it hinders me to experience new things. The whole pattern of being awake at night by a plate gets tiring, Jeno.”

All Jeno would do when you’re frustrated was placing your head on his shoulder, listening as you talk.

“I know, angel. But it won’t be long until you leave this place with me, right?”

“You know it!” You interlocked your hands with him, eyes trained at every falling snowflake.

Sometimes, moments in silence with Jeno were all you needed for the night. Being within each other’s presence, focusing or admiring something from afar, it was all the peace you’ve needed from the bustling art pieces.

This week was the last of the semester, and Jeno’s off duty for tonight to focus on his exams. You’ll see him tomorrow night, which was his last shift ever, and also yours too.

Perhaps the biggest milestone you’re committing to without any regrets.

However, it took an unnecessary conversation you accidentally eavesdropped on to rock your decision.

You needed more ink after running out mid-way of sketching the sculptures as a secret parting gift. Before you could take a single step inside your exhibit room, a series of voices were full-on arguing. Booming back and forth, you peeped your ear out whilst hiding against the door.

“Athena, how dare you did to her?! She’s done so well from moving on from it, falling in love even! And now you’re telling me this?!” The distinct voice of Princess Diana, who spoke sweetly most of the time, boomed towards the Greek god. “You’re heartless.”

“I did what I had to do for the sake of this place, Diana!” Athena raised her voice, the lightning in her hands holding back from lashing out. She hated it when anyone argued with her, especially when she does things according to what she believed was necessary. Out of everyone, she had more leadership. “She had to know that her place is here as a wax figure, not outside. Talking Junmyeon out of it was for the best, plus it’s ideal when he drank the potion of memory loss from Circe.”

“But it tore her apart when he left her, and it’s going to tear her again if you do the same with Jeno.”

“How else are you going to approach the situation then, Diana? Those two have broken the highest golden rule, so they need to wake up.”

Right when she celebrated within herself for healing, hearing the unbearable revelation behind the past devastated you. This whole time, she internally blamed herself for being ageless and lashed out at others. The scary past barged back in, and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

Somewhere in the corner, you wept without a trace. You could care less about Athena’s opinions, but you found yourself agreeing to some of her words. You had a role to fulfill, and leaving that behind would be selfish and it could make the museum go topsy-turvy. As painful for Junmyeon to leave you, it was because the truth hurts. Nothing could change it, even if Circe could be your solution because it’ll leave a lot of questions. You didn’t want Jeno to be seen as a suspect.

Oh, Jeno.

There’s nothing wrong with falling in love either, you didn’t intend it to happen. But it becomes unfair when it compromises with your purpose, and that’s not how you are. You’ll always remember Jeno as your biggest risk, though it’s time to end things. Treacherous as it was to accept for you, risk-takers have boundaries too.

Fast forward, on the night of Jeno’s last shift, you’ve cherished every second with him. Playing around, chatting with other art pieces, kissing in private, you made it count. Before dawn broke, that’s where you chose to come clean by the garden, your sacred place. Not even your self-reassurance could prepare you to witness the hurt and confusion Jeno felt.

“You’re a mortal, and you still get to choose your path. Mine is already predetermined here as a wax copy of a historical figure.” You advised as you held both his hands, your voice shaking at the reality.

A few days ago, you were beaming with exhilaration at a new journey but now you’ve permanently backed out. Jeno couldn’t comprehend, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t. A life without you by his side would be empty and dull. “Even so, there are things about you that the original person didn’t have.”

Arguing with him wasn’t your favorite, and it’ll leave the two of you in a bad mood. But there is no way to negotiate this; you’ve already made up your mind. “We must end this, Jeno. You need someone who can grow old with you, and I can’t be that person for you.”

“But we can make it work!” His hands gripped on your slumped shoulders, whilst your face avoiding his to spare yourself from the heartache. “There’s still Circe.”

“I know, but recently, I found out that she’s an indirect cause of my misery.” Pulling away from his touch, you belted with frustration. “I cannot do this anymore, Jeno.”

You’ve always fought for whatever you wanted in life, and Jeno knew he was one of them if it weren’t for you telling him that. So he did the same, thinking of ways to make you feel whole. Now, he couldn’t tolerate the sudden crumbling of his heart from your outburst, and all he wanted to know was why you felt this way. How could he help you?

You don’t keep secrets from Jeno, but the truth behind your harsh actions cannot be revealed for the sake of the museum. Plus, you didn’t want him to despise this place he admired. Causing him pain wasn’t on your list, but keeping him safe was. It may be shown differently and he may not understand it now, but over time, he will.

“Jeno, you’ll find someone better out there. Someone with their whole life ahead of them, who’ll love you for everything that makes you who you are.” Repetitive punches in your guts urged you to barf at your half-lie, but you held it in.

“Why are you pushing me away? What happened to taking risks, (Y/N)?” Jeno interrogated, taking your hands in his hands again. They unconventionally quivered, like his lips. Jeno has never cried in front of anyone, not even when he was younger. Though for you, he just might. “Am I not worth it for you?”

Dear heavens, he was wrong. You internally screamed that, but you can’t let your selfishness seize the night. As Athena said, you had to wake up from your dream. “Committing to you was my biggest risk of them all, Jeno. Everything else that went along with it, I don’t regret it one bit. But time’s really up for us, and we must resume our normal duties.”

“I can’t lose you, (Y/N).”

“You never will, Jeno.”

He crouched lower to meet your height, his finger moving your head so you’d look at him back. Weakly enough, you did. “I want you to be a part of my normal life, angel.”

“I’ll always be here, you know. I’ll be standing in my usual spot upstairs, and you can drop by whenever you can.” You pressed your lips, lifting your head to avoid incoming tears. Meanwhile, he began shedding a few. You’ve hurt him big time, and you’ll never forgive yourself for this. “I still have one wish, right?”

Jeno’s sorrow was beyond his capacity, leaning his forehead against yours to kiss it. No matter what he could say or do, he already knew it won’t be effective. You’re affirmative in your choices, yet he still wanted to challenge it. All he wanted to know was why you’re doing this.

“Let me walk you one last time to your section.”

The black night sky had remnants of blue, motioning that dawn was approaching. Other figures gave their goodbyes to Jeno earlier, cleaning up their areas before they pose. Though none of them anticipated such a cold atmosphere between you two, they could only spy on what was bound to happen.

“My last wish is for you to let me go, Jeno.” You avowed, blinking your eyes with faux positivity. Your hands patted his blazer so it wouldn’t crease. “I already have a role to fulfill here, and you’re on the way to yours, future architect.”

“I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Only tonight did he muster his courage to finally admit it to you after giving himself more time to analyze it. Timing was always crucial, and the badness of it showed.

Deep in your heart, you resonated the feeling. But it’ll make things more complicated, and it was the final thing you’ve wanted to occur. Someone had to be the strong one, and now, it should be you. With one more compassionate kiss on his lips, you stepped inside your section and readied your position.

“Goodbye, Lee Jeno.”

The sunshine brightened the room, and you’ve frozen to slumber again.

All Jeno could do was drop on his knees, sobbing over your rash actions. Unknown to him, a single tear left your eye as you posed.

Regardless of what status you were in, the pain of it all remained.

Jeno spent most of his semestral break with his friends to travel or whatnot, trying to forget it all. Even if he aced all his finals, his efforts felt like nothing if he never had you by his side to celebrate.

The sting over his short-lived romance with you never diminished the slightest, no one whom he could express his pain about it to especially when Renjun drank the memory wipe potion that Athena initially left for Jeno by his desk.

Forget it all, and live a peaceful life. You have so much potential, my mentee.

- Athena

Perhaps this was the same thing Junmyeon drank all those years ago, but unlike him, he didn’t have the guts to. He still wanted another chance.

So every day since the new semester began, he spent every afternoon break at your section. He’ll be seated by the bench, doing his assignments and talking about his day while sometimes stealing a glance of your figure. Some habits don’t change.

He never got sick of the same smile you exemplified, falling even more for you. He’ll often wonder what you’ve been up to.

What are your new sketches?

Are you taking care of Mochi well?

Have you apologized to Sanghoon yet?

Speaking of him, he surprisingly scooted over to Jeno’s side. This was the first time Jeno met the man, and politely enough greeted him. Sanghoon interviewed the boy, asking all sorts of questions that Jeno had every answer to. The biggest change that Sanghoon noticed since he left was your personality. You no longer bite, but treat everyone kindly without bias. You’re always active to help him out in cleaning the lobby, and you don’t go easily defensive.

Once he found out that Jeno was the reason for that, he was overjoyed at the start and wanted to meet him some way. You were a tough cookie, but now you relaxed. That was all that mattered to him, hoping to know more about him from you. That was until Diana stepped in and told him everything that happened. Mostly, the bad.

Playfulness eventually bore love. The last time you fell in love was in the 80s and Junmyeon pushed you away, he recalled. This time, you’re pushing Jeno away because you simply agreed with Athena’s points.

This wasn’t right, but it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But then again, he finally caught Jeno for the first time today and this time, he was open to hearing his side of the story. Lessen his misery too.

“No matter how stubborn she is, she loves you.” He advised him, bringing out one of your full sketchbooks. As Jeno opened it, the majority of the portraits were him. Sleeping, smiling, laughing, you drew him from every minor detail you could spot like the mole near his eye and his crescent eyes.

A handsome face I would never get sick until the end of time. Someone I want to wake up to every day in the morning if it weren’t for that plate.

- (Y/N)

Towards the end, a sketch of a house unfolded. The interior was a fusion of modernity and old royal design due to its white walls, wide space, and the placing of less furniture, plus an open backyard. There’s another tiny comment on the side from you.

I was right. Joining our varying designs together is pretty. Maybe Jeno and I could live in a house like this one day.

- (Y/N)

If you loved him so much, why did you let him go then when you had all these plans with him? Even if he tried to understand, he just didn’t.

“Don’t give up just yet when she told you to.”

“Are you just saying this or something?”

“Well, Princess Diana passed this message on but after everything, I believe that she’s right.” Sanghoon gave his opinion, but Jeno was reluctant to accept it.

“I never got a proper explanation why she suddenly changed her mind, Sanghoon.” He ranted, raking his hand through his hair from puzzlement. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sanghoon pitied him, having the upper hand and questioning himself whether to reveal the truth. However, since this boy took the job, he’s succumbed to secrecy. Without any transparency, it could drive someone mad. He’s too young for that, so Sanghoon breathed in defeat and placed his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

“Promise me you won’t be mad when I tell you because I was when I found out; almost screamed even.”

Jeno nodded, listening to whatever Sanghoon had to say.

Of all people, he never would’ve expected Athena to do such a brash thing. Someone he respected and trusted, only to betray him by doing something she believed was good for all. Except it wasn’t, and it ended up hurting you all these years. The woman he loved, now he’s a clearer understanding of why you did what you did. Yet, it can’t fix his excruciation.

Heartbroken was an understatement; he had no one to rely on. With Sanghoon, he finally had a proper breakdown. The older man could only comfort his quietly, picturing him like one of his sons going through a hard time in school. But if it involves the heart, it’ll take more time to recover.

“You’re always the one adjusting, Jeno. But I think this time, you’re the one who needs space.”

A Year and a Half Later

“Jeno Lee!!!” Jaemin roughly wallowed his best friend in a hug when he arrived in their dorm room for the first time in a long time. “You dyed your hair blonde again!”

Renjun, who was behind the two of them, only rolled his eyes as he helped carry Jeno’s bags. “God damn it, Jaemin! You’re supposed to be helping me first!”

“I know, but give me a few seconds! I’m just happy our group is back together!”

Jeno laughed at his friends’ annoying yet silly dynamics, giddy to be back home. For a year, Jeno spent his 3rd year of university in Rome, Italy after one of his professors brought up to him about a scholarship program there for his course. At the time where he needed a change of scenery, he sent his application form and got interviewed.

Acing it, he had the opportunity to fly across the world to study and travel. His English skills surely improved, even picking up Italian words along the way due to a required class for it. He studied the history of different locations and how they were built.

He also went on field trips almost every day if it weren’t for the Italian students assigned to tour him around, academic and non-academic. Nights he spent on drinking wine on the rooftop of his dorm with them, screaming his complaints in the world with them.

It didn’t hit him that his stay was reaching its end until he submitted his final plate. His goodbye party didn’t even feel like one, but a see you later in the next few years after he becomes a licensed architect with money. His goal of it felt more realistic, motivating him to excel in his remaining years in university.

After unpacking half of his things, he was reminded of an email from one of the head professors, who requested another copy of his confidential documents from the Italian university he went to as soon as he’s back on campus.

He raced to the department with a folder of them and luckily encountered the said professor. Handing it to him, this professor questioned how he was and what experiences he gained from the trip. With excitement, Jeno spoke all sorts of tales from his adventures, highlighting how determined he was now to be an architect.

“That’s great to hear, Jeno!” He celebrated, checking on his watch, and widened his eyes. Frantic at his colliding schedules, he asked Jeno for a favor. It turned out that at the same time as his emergency meeting, he’s supposed to tour the new transferee student around campus.

“Only if you have time, Jeno! I could always ask another student, plus you just came back and need rest.”

“It’s not like I left for a decade, sir. No worries, I’ll do it.”

“Oh, bless your soul.” He put his hands together in prayer position, bowing back and forth with gratitude. “Wait, she’s right outside! Go ahead and introduce yourself.”

Jeno nodded, exiting right through the department doors. This girl had her back turned, inspecting her surroundings. She wore a black and white tweed blazer that matched with her skirt, black high heeled boots, and a black handbag. She must be a foreigner, Jeno thought.

“Excuse me, are you the transferee in the department of Architecture?”

Jeno didn’t brace himself for the surprise he’d face once this girl reacted to him calling her out. Her face was one he could never forget, no matter how many times he told himself to. The same face he convinced his heart to stop beating for, yet it lied.

This radiant face was none other than yours.

Jeno almost dropped his phone. He tried his best to hold on to your promise, but he failed. It was the main reason he studied abroad; to forget and focus on his career path. So the least thing he could’ve done was to study hard for his dream career.

Just a glimpse of you projected back every single memory you’ve had together. Beautiful yet heart-wrenching, he kept his emotions to himself.

You even wore the rose necklace he got you. Could it be?

“It’s been a while, Lee Jeno.” You took the metaphorical scissors to cut the tension, trying to contain the crushing feelings. The faculty center was a public place, yet it’s like the two of you were on the main stage.

“Do you remember me?” Astounded, you nodded. Every single detail.

Jeno could’ve ran away, but didn’t. He could’ve left you hanging, but didn’t. He can no longer count how many times you’ve appeared in his dreams, only to be disappointed when morning comes to not have you in his arms. He took one step closer, taking his time.

“How do you know me?”

“You’re the boy whom I helped with his assignment, argued with me over Romeo and Juliet,” You mimicked his move, making you one step nearer to him. “And most of all, the boy I once gave my entire heart to.”

Another step, leaving a few inches between the two of you. His heart palpitated without caffeine. What if he was napping in his dorm again? It was all surreal. “Is it really you, (Y/N)?”

Hearing your name from his lips lowered your guard, you pleased him with a hopeful grin. “I’d be dust by now if I didn’t drink Circe’s potion, right?”

That’s where Jeno unchained himself from his emotions. He engulfed in a warm hug, one that has no plans to let go when his chin planted on your shoulder. You returned the gesture, dropping all your worries away along with your bag and papers as your arms snaked through his neck.

You knew you had to part ways for a while after everything, though you were unsure how he’d feel about it. You recalled every time he visited you after his job ended up until his intense chat with Sanghoon, where he bawled his heart out. You couldn’t take it anymore after trying to stay strong, crying as soon as you woke up that night.

All your fellow figures could do was soothe you down like before to the best of their abilities, yet this time, it was unsuccessful. You’re filled with misery, realizing later how much of a big mistake you’ve made.

You’ve isolated yourself again for a while, but less rudeness and more silence. It was until Circe visited you. She doesn’t like getting involved with drama, though now was different. She, alongside Hera and Aphrodite, couldn’t withstand you tolerating the heartbreak again. So they went behind Athena’s back on this one time and created a potion together just for you. But with a compromise.

“This potion can turn you into a human. However, there’s only a 10% chance you’ll regain all your memories from this place.”

“So I’ll forget everyone and him?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” You’re about to shoo her away, not in the mood to do something drastic as that. But Circe grabbed your arm again. “I strongly believe that if you and he meant to be, then there will come a time these past memories will suddenly surge at you.”

“Must I need to forget to live properly?”

You’re stubborn, and Circe expected it. “You’ve broken so many golden rules, (Y/N), so it must be done. I’ve gone against Athena for this potion, and rarely have I done that. So rather than wallowing up in misery, you should focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy because this place is trapping you from every great thing out there.”

Those were the word that the actual (Y/N) (Y/L/N) lived by, nevertheless, you’re unique from her. You built a separate identity from her. “But Jeno-”

“At the right time, (Y/N). Pull yourself together and do all the things you’ve dreamt of before he came into the picture. I just know he loves you that much, and that he will wait for you.”

That same night, you gathered all your senses and drank it. The transition was fast as lightning speed, and behold, you were like a new person. You’re back in London, with a family that closely resembled your former one; only 3 older siblings, making you the youngest. You also had a new set of memories, from childhood until your adult years.

From (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you became (Y/N) Edwards.

It took one drunken night out with your university friends for the unlikely surge of old memories to speedily hit through your intoxicated state. Way beyond a dream, you’ve dropped your shot glass and broke down in the bathroom of your dorm room. You left something unaccomplished, and you had to do something before it’s too late.

Thus, you rushed to Seoul thanks to your parents’ support as they agreed that exploring outside your home country was a great experience. The only excuse you gave to your friends for the sudden transfer was you finding a new calling.

Sure, studying abroad was an exciting thing but you’re more determined to reunite with him. Even if this encounter was unforeseen, it was bound to happen one day. It so turned out that you had the same major in your former university and this new one.

Head to toe, you remembered everything.

“I’m so sorry I took so long.” You cradled your head on his chest, unaware of how your new life left Jeno so troubled.

“That doesn’t matter anymore.” Jeno tightened his grip, scared of releasing you again. Those two years felt like a breath of fresh air and a punch in the gut. “I tried to live up to your last wish, but I really can’t.”

“I want to take that wish back, Jeno. I wasn’t thinking right and only ended putting you through so much.”

“Oh, angel. I slowly understood why you did it.” Before he got too fragile, he softened his grip on you and showed his face again to you. He wanted a better look at his pretty girl, his fingers brushing strands of your hair behind your ear. Heart-fluttering, you bit your bottom lip. “What would you want to wish for instead?”

“Instead of you letting me go, I wish you could take me back and love me again. I can’t undo the past, but I’d still like to think I’ve tried my best.” That was the only wish you could ever think of. As huge as it was, it was something he may not accept. Yet you gave it a go, risking it all. “I don’t deserve you at all, Jeno.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N).” One of his hands grabbed yours, putting it on his cheek. Cupping it, “I’ve never stopped loving you, you know.”

Oh, love. An all-too familiar emotion that either makes or breaks you. Of all the times you could’ve said those words, you held back, especially that wretched night you two broke it off. Although you showed it, being able to say it to someone felt more empowering.

This was finally the chance you’ve unconsciously waited for.

“I’m stupid for not saying this sooner.”

“What is it?”

With intimate eye contact, you drowned in the comfort of his brown orbs. You trusted him then, and you trusted him now. “I love you, Lee Jeno.”

Secretly, Jeno anticipated for the day you’d say those meaningful 3 words. Just like you, he showed more affection through actions than words. He only admitted when he lost you, and never would he do the same mistake again. If he felt that the love was strongly present, he will say it aloud.

“I love you still, (Y/N).” His arm around your waist tugged you in further. “I loved you as (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I will continue to love you as (Y/N) Edwards.”

He peeked on your ID earlier, but regardless, he stood by his truth. You’re still the same (Y/N).

Finally, he closed the limited space between your lips. The memories of your past romance replayed in sync of every touching kiss, popping one leg up like in the movies. The Princess Diaries, specifically. Like in the museum from your unbearable parting, one warm tear freed itself down your cheek.

The sweetness of being reunited with you again beat the torturous wait of Jeno. Time really made your hearts grow fonder. As everyone said, if the love between two people is real, then it’ll find its way back to each other.

The world must be on your side too because no professor called you two out on your public display of affection. Jeno pecked your lips one time before stepping away, picking up the things you dropped.

“Now come on, I have to tour you around as instructed.”

You stomped on your feet, rolling your eyes from being left hanging. He’s still the same tease from before. “After that kiss though, I would’ve thought we could reschedule it.”

“No can do, Edwards.” Passing over your things, he wrapped one arm around you as he escorted you out of the building. The university was huge, with more buildings and green fields surrounded everywhere. “Left or right? There are a lot of places you missed out on all those years.”

“Point taken. Then you lead the way, my love.”

[delilah-briarwood]

WIP Title Ask Game

the rules are: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @spottedenchants

Absolutely breaking the rules as I have 100+ wips but tagging @elledritchorror @fandoms-are-my-lifestyle @queerbutstillhere @kas-chronicles @theparallaxview @bisexualoftheblade

Far Too Many WIPs under the cut

dreams of tension

home is where the heart is (but what a shame)

safe from the dark things that wait

Dog Days

This Fire In My Skin

Only Piece of Luck

From Her Heart’s Apocalypse

No Way I’ll Make Heaven

live with me now (forever)

in a world without gold (we might have been heroes)

Only Human

august

for you (there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do)

Our House (In The Middle of Our Street)

take this pink ribbon off of my eyes

don’t you fret

Remember Me

And They Were Roommates

Keeping Watch In The Night

Of Greek Gods And Vigilantism

The Second Born

when do you think it will all become clear?

devil is in the details

For My Brother

Childish Endeavours

Demon Resources

The Kryptonian and the Zombie

Welcome Home

Iced Coffee

this is real (this is me)

not like the others

viscountess

sweet child of mine

Five of Hearts

For The Greater Good

Unequal Odds

Godly Revolution

Everything’s Just Wonderful

Brother of Mine

Defy

one of me, one of you

The Toad

Red Skies In Brooklyn

Swan Song

cheap rent

Love Frayed By A Knife

Name of the Game

the blackest night, the brightest stars

it burns beyond the grave

Gasoline Skies

Beauty Through The Pain

From High School To Olympus

Godly Green

You’re Still My Brother

Smiling With Immortal Mirth

Who Dares To Love Forever?

Throw Up Your Arms Into The Sky

Put Your Faith In Me

Once Lost In Hades’ Halls

must be believed to be seen

children of science and gods

shadow of no worth

The Worst Shade of Purple

family approval

to the future

Nobody’s Birthday

come to us and you will see

These Family Ties

Make Believe Hearts

Sister Mine

Names

Always Home

Venomous Tricks

in which everyone is gay and hates capitalism

Calling Card

i made a point to burn all the photographs

A Hopeful Heart

A Pack of Wolves

A Strawberry Milkshake

Acting Debut

After Some Consideration

Her Name Was Sasha James

Gears & Glory

safe in your arms

Out In The Darkness

Too Close To The Sun

ready. aim. fire.

if only the clockwork could speak

head above water

the truth about the moon

the rage of spring

Stand And Face Me

A Family Loud, Proud, and Entirely Unexpected

learning to fly (learning to fall)

A Maid’s Heart

when the battle is done

Once And Future

Untitled QPP AroAce Toy Soldier

where will you run to?

tell me if you’ve heard this one before

A Love Letter To A Gentleman Thief

Jürgen Leitner Hoards Shinies

Widomauk Soulmates AU

Time-Travelling Caleb and Nott

The Mighty Nein College AU

until the morning comes around

tomorrow is another day

Enjoltaire Star Wars AU

hands touch, eyes meet

Jupeter Victorian AU

Accidental Wedding

whatever time, whatever place

Vox Mafia

Beau Is A Disaster Lesbian (Beaujester)

Heartbeat

JayRoy Kiss to wake up

‘You have to let go’

Find Mollymauk Tealeaf (Simulacra AU)

Taken Hostage

Critical Role Hunger Games AU

“Do you trust me?”

i gave you my heart

to those that came before

Vaxleth Twilight AU

three types of people

i only wish i knew your secret

First Encounters

Ashrym Shadowhunters AU

Vampire College AU

take my hand (take my whole life too)

Vaxleth Stardust AU

the last one standing

are you coming to the tree?

growing up

Statement Begins

dancing gracefully across my memory

remains of the day

the price of victory

return from the ashes you call

tightrope

the waiting seems eternity

Robin & Eddie being besties

a hand you shouldn’t shake

Mighty Nein Assassin’s Creed AU

Mighty Nein Kington Hearts AU

Mollymauk Tealeaf Daemon AU

Skysolo, failed Order 66. Jedi!Luke

M9 Brakebills AU

[ddaenggtan]

lay me gently | ksj

there is no time for loneliness among the fires of your forge, no room in your buzzing mind for thoughts of anything but your next invention and the pain in your leg. your life is tilted off its axis, though, when your parents arrange a marriage without your knowledge or consent, and your new husband begins to situate himself into your life despite protests from either of you. you don’t know what zeus and hera have planned, but a volcano is no place for a love god like seokjin. | monsters and gods pt 2 (masterlist)

pairing | seokjin x reader

genre/warnings | greek god au, aphrodite!jin, hephaestus!reader, disabled!reader (kind of. more technically accurate would be chronic pain!reader. but thats a whole discussion that ur welcome to have with me), fluff, slight angst but not a ton, v brief allusions to violence but its purposefully vague, not so brief descriptions of physical injury, descriptions of chronic pain, cyclopes! everywhere! i use that word so many times!, smut, literally the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written there are only two warnings, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, there are mentions of a war god that is a dick but it is Not Ares i promise, everyone still hates zeus bc he sucks, this also features dionysus!jimin but only a little, 

word count | 12.9k | cross posted to ao3

a/n | this is the second installment of gods and monsters!! i was actually in the middle of writing from eden when i stumbled across a really fantastic blurb about retelling aphrodite’s story the way we’ve all collectively decided to retell persephone and hades, so that there are two decent fucking couples in greek mythology, and there were a lot of good comments on said blurb that made those last two braincells in my head run into each other and make an idea. and then i promptly opened a new doc and typed half of this and a vague summary before sleeping for longer than i should have! and i’m always weak for aphrodite jin bc i mean....look at him....man looks like he was sculpted by Michelangelo like who am i to deny the gods, y’know? and i figured that since i had olympian!reader in the last one, i’d continue that and have olympian!reader in this one, also i wanted an excuse to write from a hephaestus pov since i’ve loved that dumbass blacksmith since i was ten and wrote a greek history article in school. so here, have this aphrodite retelling!! | title from work song by hozier

It's hot. It's always hot here, the consequences of living inside a volcano, you suppose, but the callouses on your skin have long since made you immune to the burns. You glide down through the halls, an old habit since the day you crafted the wheels you attached to your sandals. No longer did you need to carry the awkward and hefty cane everywhere you went, or struggle to make your leg move the way you wanted it to. The invention of the wheel was one you were forever proud of. 

The forge is already blazing when you arrive, each of the hundred levels full of cyclopes all hammering away. Steam hisses and rises through the air, and you chance a glance at the lava bubbling miles below you. 

"Careful today," You call to the cyclops closest to you. "It looks like she's feeling the burn again. Raise the guards soon, and keep them up until she blows. No sense letting good work go to waste." The cyclops nods and barks an order out at others across the levels. You wheel yourself further along, the sound of the celestial bronze shields being brought up serving as background noise. You probably could have waited another day or so to raise them, if you were honest; cyclopes are fireproof, which is useful in a forge, and you yourself aren't likely to be taken out by a mere volcanic eruption. The work, though...heat like that could affect even the strongest of your creations, and everyone works much too hard here to have to reform every bolt, repour every blade. 

You valued your time too much for that. 

"You have a guest, my lady," one of your workers called. You look up from the notebook in your hands - soot-covered, bound in leather, edges singed, with bits of paper sticking every which way from the many times you've jotted something down for later and stuffed it inside quickly before tying the leather cords that bind it - and frown. The cyclops grimaces slightly. "It...seems to be Lord Zeus."

You scoff and spin yourself around to follow him to the elevator reluctantly. "Probably wants to commission another throne, the bastard. Should've stuck him to the last one, maybe he'd get it through his head that not everyone wants to fuck him." You wave a hand and your guide gives you a curt nod before returning to work. You settle yourself in the lift and flip the lever. It's not a long journey, thanks to the many improvements you've made over the years, but it still seems that too soon the grate is sliding back into the wall to allow you exit. 

You tap your heels together twice as you glide off the lift, already reaching for the cane that you keep there for situations like this. The soft clicks and whirs are nearly imperceptible as the wheels break themselves apart and regress into the hidden compartments in your soles. Your leg becomes dead weight once more, and you wince at the way it drags behind you. You've half a mind to curse whoever came to call on you this time; you hate walking, even if the charade is a necessary one. You're still contemplating the idea when you hobble into your entry to see Zeus himself, stoic and cold as he ever is. 

"My lord," You call, barely keeping the venom out of your voice as you do. Many would say it's the heat of the mountain making your blood boil, but you know the truth. Very little in the world sets you off like the man in front of you. 

He turns and fixes a blinding grin on you. "My dear Hephaestus!" You scoff at the title; no one has called you by your name in centuries, lest they inherit your lameness. "Wonderful to see you, truly. It's been too long since my last visit."

"Yes, four hundred years does seem to crawl by without you to grace the halls of my forge," You drawl. His eyes steel for a moment, your sarcasm not as lost on him as you'd hope, but it quickly passes. "Why are you here, my lord?"

"Well, you remember how I said I would owe you a favor?" Your eyes narrow and you nod. In the handful of times Zeus has repaid the hundreds of favors he owes, it's hardly ever been something positive. "I'm here to pay it! I brought you a gift."

"A gift, what-?" You don't get the chance to finish. Zeus has already waved forward a steward he brought along. Your heart aches for the boy as sweat drips down his body and his tunic is already singed. Your own leathers are slightly oppressive in the heat, but at least they don't catch fire. Zeus takes a scroll from the boy, harsh and rough, and shoves it into your hands. You unravel it quickly, your eyes darting across the words on the paper.

"A marriage?!" Your screech echoes throughout the mountain and the clanging of metal on metal pauses for a moment. "What am I supposed to do with a marriage, much less one to a-" You scan the paper again. "A love goddess?"

"Not a love goddess," He tuts. "The love goddess. Well. Love deity. Aphrodite is a beauty, you're lucky I could arrange such a thing." Your eyes strain against your skull, threatening to pop out with every word Zeus says. 

"What in all of Tartarus is a ‘love deity’ supposed to do in my forge?" You ask him. He scoffs and waves the question off as if it doesn't matter. Your hand twitches with the urge to throw him into the lava, and the only thing keeping you from doing exactly that is the pain striking through your leg - a bitter reminder of just what Zeus is capable of - and the knowledge that it wouldn't even kill him. 

"Your mother was adamant about this, Hephaestus." You echo his scoff at this; you're sure she was. "Aphrodite will arrive within the week. See to it that everything is fit for a god." He chuckles at his own joke, and a vision of your cane shoved through his skull implants itself in your brain. You force yourself to take in deep breaths. The scent of hot metals, sparks, and sulfur calms you, as it always has. 

"Fine," You say, though Zeus is already on his way out. "I'm not keeping anyone here against their will, though!" Your shout goes ignored, as you knew it would. You grumble under your breath and hobble back to the elevator. Within moments you're shooting down to your bedroom, large and situated close to the heart of the volcano. You don't bother to activate the wheels of your shoes, instead leaning on your cane until you get to your bed. 

The plush mattress and blankets are a relief on your aching hip and leg and you let yourself lean back and just relax for a moment. The notice is still clutched in your hand and you find yourself staring at the looping curves of Hera's signature, wondering what she's up to this time. 

Memories flood you before you can stop them; being a young godling in Olympus, attached and in awe of your mother as she led you around the city, light gleaming off the golden columns. Seeing the fire in Zeus' eyes the first time he struck her in front of you, and the blaze that came when you stepped in front of her. Starlight glinting off her silver robes as she cried in her garden. The bruising vice he kept on your calf, the feel of the winds against your skin as you fell, the way Helios painted the sky as you kept falling. The feel of a hammer in your hand for the first time, juxtaposed to the throbbing pain in your crippled leg every time you so much as twitched. 

The notice is across the room before you realize you've thrown it. You want to believe she isn't playing games; Hera has always been somewhat conniving, but your mother has never been outright cruel to you, not since the night you tried to save her from her husband, and she always had her reasons. You may not always agree with her reasons, but that didn't change the fact that she had them. Still, condemning an innocent person to a life here...condemning you to live your days with a constant reminder of your plainness, your deformity, wasn't something you expected from her. Zeus, yes, but not her. 

You let yourself fall back onto the bed, only to adjust a few moments later when the pressure on your hip becomes too much. You're angled now, weight resting on your good side to alleviate even a bit of the pain from the other. It was the only way you could get a moment's peace since your fall, the only time the pain lessened. 

You allow yourself five breaths. Five breaths to let the tear slip down your cheek, drawing its path through the soot and the smoke. Four to let your breath shake in your chest and shudder in the air. Three for the ache in your hip to disappear completely, so you are blessedly free from your pain for once. Two for the thorns to tighten impossibly around your heart and let it bleed for you. One for the hole in your chest, shaped like a loving father and a true family that doesn't constantly commission weapons from you to throw at each other.

Pain arcs through your leg once more and you wince. Your hand massages the muscles there absentmindedly; it provides no relief to anything but your mind. You stand and click your heels together once more, glad when the wheels are stable once more. In seconds, you're off, flying through hallways to get to your workshop. 

You've got work to do. 

It's nearly the entire week later when one of the workers knocks on the door of your workshop. 

"Aphrodite has arrived, my lady." You wave at him and he disappears back into the mass of his brothers. It doesn't take you long to get to the entryway, rolling through the halls until you're just outside the large bronze doors. You retract your wheels and grasp your cane, reminding yourself that the more people thought Zeus had crippled you debilitatingly, the better. Your hip aches again and you tune it out in favor of tapping the end of your cane against a small hammer at the base of the doors. There's a quiet whir as they slide open, and you limp forward as best you can. 

The foyer is packed with people, cyclopes everywhere with bags slung over their shoulder, forest nymphs tapping at their smoking roots, naiads hissing with steam. In the midst of everything stands two still figures, one infinitely more familiar than the other. 

"I thought I told you that the next time you step foot in my forge, I'd stoke my fires with your bones." Your voice is loud as it reverberates across the walls. Both figures turn to look at you, but your glare doesn't falter. 

"Aw, are you still mad about that?" His smile is deceptively innocent. "You never would've gotten her off that throne otherwise." 

"It wasn't supposed to be her throne in the first place, was it?" You spit back as you make your way to him. It doesn't escape your notice that everyone but the cyclopes is staring at you, and you're glad the heat from the mountain keeps you flushed. You can't show weakness in front of this crowd, you can't let them know that you know they think you're below them. 

You can't let them know that in your worst moments, you agree. 

"Get the fuck out of my mountain, Dionysus, before I throw you out."

"Ooh, take after your old man a little too much there, don't you?" Jimin's smile never leaves his face and you resist the urge to smack it with your cane. Instead, you tighten your grip on it and take a breath. 

"What are you doing here?" You eventually ask through gritted teeth. 

"Just escorting a dear, dear friend." His grin has turned predatory as he rests a hand on his companion's shoulder. "My dear Hephaestus, I'd like to introduce you to Aphrodite." You glance over, looking the man up and down briefly. 

He's taller than you - though, with your pained hunch, many are. His shoulders are almost as wide as his eyes as he looks around the room, taking in the granite walls and bronze moldings. His clothes aren't practical in the least; soft and sweet and flowing linens in a pale lilac that complements the purple of his hair. It's a stark contrast to the harsh reds and greys of your soot-stained leathers. When he finally looks at you, his eyes are the same color as the grease you use to oil your inventions and give you no clue to his thoughts.

He's fucking beautiful and it brings a sob to your throat.

"It's...a pleasure." He looks you up and down, not unlike you did him, but whatever conclusions he makes, he says nothing. 

"Your quarters are on the fifth floor," You reply in lieu of an actual greeting. "Delius will show you the way. Be careful, or you're likely to lose your head. Keep a cyclops with you while you learn your way around, they can get anywhere." The god looks surprised, though you aren't sure why, and you turn. "They'll see to your meals and needs, as well, so if you find yourself wanting, just let one know. I'll have a key made soon, so you can come and go as you wish." 

Aphrodite starts to say something as you walk away, leg dragging slightly behind you as you go. Jimin seems to cut him off, though, already asking for wine. 

"And get that bastard out of my forge!" You yell over your shoulder. "If he's still here when I get to the lift, I'm throwing him to the pit." 

There's scrambling behind you as the doors close. You feel a twinge of regret; the love god has done nothing to you, you could have given him even the slightest chance. The memory of his eyes as he looked at you flashes in front of you and you lean against the wall for support. No love god would want to associate with someone like you. He is beauty and elegance, a practiced dance in a moonlit gazebo, and you…

You are a mistake, cast from your home and crippled for all to see exactly what happens when you get in Zeus' way. 

You take a breath and let the heat from the stone wall soothe the pain in your hip as much as it will before you set off for your workshop.

Seokjin isn't quite sure what to do with himself that night. His friends - suitors - have all gone, unable to bear the heat of the mountain for more than a brief goodbye, and Jimin was quick to go when the cyclopes started for him. What the story there is, he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything, as a matter of fact. 

He doesn't know why Hera pushed so hard to have him wed to Hephaestus. He doesn't know why the girl was so cold at their first meeting. He doesn't know why she seemed so normal. Most people he met fell to their knees within moments, desperate to please him and showering him with vain compliments that used to sound like music in his ears. Most were insistent in their offers to him, throwing out their bodies and souls and anything else they thought he might want, just for a single glance from him. He used to laugh as he blew them kisses, delighted by their mindless adoration. 

Used to. 

He doesn't delight in such things anymore. Centuries have passed, and still, not a single one of the people and creatures that fought to stand in his presence cared about him. All of them saw Aphrodite, god of love and fertility, beauty and passion. They vied for just one night with him, fighting wars to win his hand, throwing whole festivals across Greece for his blessing. It was and would always be an honor. He is beautiful and is thankful for it, but…

Just once, he would like to be beautiful as Seokjin instead of Aphrodite. Would like the people attempting to woo him to hear the words he speaks instead of merely listening to the musicality of his voice. Would like to be believed, trusted, valued for something other than his face. Seokjin has a mind, a creative, capable mind that has - more than once - developed solutions to issues plaguing the mortals, only for him to be brushed to the side while the smart ones figured things out. 

He hates it, just like he hates that Hera sprung this on him without so much as a warning. One day he'd been lounging in her garden, the one place he could find some reprieve from the hordes of suitors, and talking to Artemis about her life as a maiden, and the next, Zeus thrust a marriage certificate into his hands and told him to be packed by the end of the week. 

And now his wife doesn't even care to look at him. You're not entranced like everyone else. The stories have grossly exaggerated your looks; he was prepared to look upon a monster, not a woman, pained and covered in soot with a limp. Still, there had been no emotion in your gaze, not even an ounce of the hatred or disgust he may have dreaded in his journey to this volcano. 

Nor do you care to dine with him, clearly. He's been sat at a scorched rocky table longer than three of him, by himself, for nearly two hours. Olympus has spoiled him, clearly, or perhaps it's that your own manners are lacking. In the skies, everyone dines together, lounging on cushions and waiting until Zeus and Hera arrive before digging into the food presented to them. It's respectful, a way to honor the hosts of the home. Even there, however, he would not be kept waiting for more than ten minutes.

"You, there," He eventually calls to a cyclops in the corner, polishing goblets that likely haven't been touched in centuries. It turns to fix its eye on him, and Seokjin represses the instinctive shudder. "When does Hephaestus intend on dining tonight?"

"Apologies, my lord, but the lady has her dinner served in her workshop." Seokjin frowns at that and the cyclops continues. "She stays there most hours of the day, takes her meals there to ensure she makes the most of each day to create her inventions and improve upon her current ones."

Seokjin huffs and debates with himself for a moment. It would be rude to eat without his hostess present, but if you had your meals delivered elsewhere there was little chance you'd bother to come to the dining hall. He couldn't possibly go to your workshop to dine with you either; the cyclops could show him the way, yes, but he would no doubt be intruding on things he had no business being near, even as your husband. 

He spews out a slew of curses that make the cyclops in the corner blush and digs into a roll. He would simply have to eat alone tonight, and perhaps if he catches you tomorrow, he can request your presence at meals. 

You don't see Aphrodite again until the next evening. 

You've almost forgotten anyone else lives in the mountain you call home, still used to being on your own besides the cyclopes. Roniah had informed you that morning that the god inquired as to your whereabouts the previous night during his supper, and the slightest bit of guilt shoots through you. You should have joined him if only for a moment to be polite, but you'd gotten entranced in your latest designs. Your own food had been taken away in the wee hours of the morning, stale and unwanted. It was commonplace, but you need to at least be polite to your husband. 

You sink deeper into the steaming water around you, rubbing away the last bits of soot and grease as you ponder. The hot water is heaven on your aches, the warmth seeping through and relaxing them into painlessness. You don't allow yourself the luxury of bathing often, usually just wiping yourself clean every so often when the remnants of your work become too thick on your skin or the ache in your bones is too much to ignore. It's a nice reprieve, though, one you bask in each time. The water is close to boiling, comfortable and warm for a goddess such as yourself, and the steam makes it difficult to see much of anything. 

You've long since come to terms with your life; you aren't beautiful, you won't ever walk without pain again, you won't be the daughter your parents wanted. But it's moments like these that you let yourself pretend, if only for a moment. Pretend you weren't thrown from your home. Pretend your leg isn't covered in scars from where the rocks of Olympus sliced it open. Pretend you're the same woman you were all those years ago, clutching at your mother's skirts as Zeus thundered towards her. 

Your head starts to spin and you stand, clumsily making your way out of the pool and to the stone bench where your linen towel waits. You slip your robes over your shoulders and sigh at the softness of them. The black linen you keep here was woven by Ariadne herself, enchanted by Athena and dipped in the fires of your forge to withstand the heat. It allows for a slight breeze as you move into your bedroom, not bothering to tie the material closed completely so it hangs limp on your shoulders, torso exposed. Your skin is overheated from the water and you enjoy the way the air cools you just slightly as you sit on your bed.

You don't think anything of it until a throat clears behind you and you whip your head around to see Aphrodite standing just inside your door. 

"Apologies, my lady. Horedon did not mention you were indisposed when I asked him to show me to your quarters." His voice is pleasant, soft and gentle. It matches his image and makes you acutely aware of how loud you always are, always must be in order to be heard over the forges.

"It's an honest mistake," You say eventually, tugging your robes tighter around you. "What do you need? As I said, the cyclopes are more than capable-"

"I wanted to extend my gratitude, actually." You can't even be mad he cut you off, too surprised by his words. "You and your workers have been very kind in the day that I've been here, and I appreciate that. I know that this isn't exactly something we had planned."

You nod in understanding. Pain flares in your leg once more and you massage the muscle out of habit. "Are your quarters to your liking? I did my best to position you high enough that the heat from the magma wouldn't be too overbearing, but not high enough that the forge smoke would choke you. Ah, and your bed also has a screen function built in to help to filter the air, so it may be more like what you're used to."

"Thank you, it's lovely. Delius showed me yesterday, it felt very much like Hera's garden." If he notices your flinch at the words, he doesn't say anything. "Listen, Hephaestus, I know neither of us may have wanted this, but I think we should make the most of this. We can at least be civil. If you would, your company at dinner would be most welcome." You stare at him, a laugh bubbling up in your throat that you can't stop. He looks baffled upon hearing it and it takes you a full minute to calm down enough to speak. 

"Thank you for inviting me to dine at my own table, Aphrodite," you say with an amused smile. "I shall do my best to attend, should I find myself near the hall." His ears turn a lovely shade of pink as he inclines his head in a small bow and leaves. You laugh again once he's gone. The entire situation is too hysterical for you. 

You, a plain and hobbled smith, are married to a love god who is beauty personified, who has already taken it upon himself to invite you to dine at your dinner table with him. You really should have expected him to pull something like this; already comfortable enough to show up unannounced in your private chambers and issue invitations and probably demands of your workers. You're not sure why Hera has banished him here; he's so much like her, he should be a favorite, and yet she must hate him if she's sentenced him to live here for the rest of existence. 

With a sigh you settle back into your bed, pillows supporting the weight of your bad leg and sheets thrown haphazardly around you. 

You don't expect to sleep, so when you wake, you're disoriented. You're not sure how long you were out, but it seems to have been a while based on the hunger that gnaws at your stomach. You click your heels and wheel your way to the kitchens, rubbing at your eyes to clear the sleep from them. 

You're focused when you enter the kitchen and give a curt wave to the mass of cyclopes situated around the island. It isn't until you're done making your gyro that you turn, deliciousness only a bite away and lock eyes with Aphrodite.

He looks radiant, as always; the pale yellow cloth drapes along his form in a most appealing way, and there's an amused smirk playing over his lips. His hair is still that soft purple, but it's faded some. 

"It's nice to see you again, wife," He says with an incline of his head. "It's been a while since anyone's seen you roaming through the halls." You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you lean back against the counter, wheels dig into the stone underneath your feet. 

"Yes, well, I was resting. Nothing strange about that, is there?" His lips quirk in a knowing smile and he shares a glance with the cyclops to his right. You notice for the first time how soft his mouth looks, pillowy and full, and you absently wonder how many have felt those lips against their skin. 

"Eat up, my lady," Aphrodite says eventually. "After a week-long nap, I expect you need it. Zeus dropped by a few days ago to deliver his wedding gift, it's waiting in your workshop. I've already commissioned a new necklace for Hera as thanks."

You frown, stuffing the gyro in your mouth. It was one thing to learn that you've been asleep for a week - not uncommon, for a god, but useful knowledge - but to know that Zeus stopped by without waking you, and that Aphrodite has been running things in your stead… You glance quickly around, noting the way each cyclops in the room is turned toward the love god as if they had all been deep in conversation before you arrived, and the sprawling mass of gems and stones atop the island in front of them. 

"You're commissioning the cyclopes for jewelry now?" You eventually ask. He nods. 

"They truly have an eye for detail," He says, a cheeky grin growing on his face. The cyclopes look amused, a couple even laughing outright, and you stifle a sigh at the terrible joke. "And I had no idea that these gems are so common here. The quality is astounding, honestly, I only ever see it in the gems on Olympus."

"That's because the stones on Olympus are from here," you tell him. Your eyes rake over him and he seems...happier than last you saw him. The soft light from the magma tunnels highlights his features beautifully, only enhancing the natural beauty, and there are gems decorating his hands and wound tight around his throat in a choker. More than that, though, he looks peaceful, relaxed. His muscles are relaxed as he sits among the one-eyed giants, a smile never far from his face, and they make conversation with him easily, despite their usual hesitance to be around any of the other gods. It warms you to see them so at ease around someone other than yourself.

"Well, if it's for Hera, it must be the best. Get me the designs, Aphrodite, and if there's anything else-"

"Seokjin."

"Hm?" You turn, already halfway to the door. 

"Seokjin is my chosen name. Please, you don't need to keep using my title." 

"Oh." Your eyes must be as wide as saucers as you stare at him, but the soft grin on his face doesn't falter in the least. "Alright then, Seokjin."

"We'll get you the designs when we're done, then, Hephaestus." You nod a little at his words and roll yourself away from the kitchens. It isn't until you get to your workshop that you realize you never gave him your own name.

Seokjin is...confused, to say the least. 

The stories on Olympus about your mountain forge are varied and extravagant, but they all seem to agree on the basics. The mountain is a terrible place to live, always filled with soot and impossible to navigate and as hideous as its master. The cyclopes are unfriendly and outright rude to everyone, if not openly hostile, likely because they are forced into servitude. The forge goddess that rules over the volcano is as violent and temperamental as the mountain itself, liable to explode at any moment after being cast out of Olympus for her own hubris. You're said to be cold and unfeeling and cruel, whipping any cyclops that doesn't do what you say when you say and beating the others into submission as you forge more and more powerful weapons for Zeus, your punishment for daring to stand against him.

Seokjin was finding more and more that none of those things were true. 

Yes, there is soot everywhere, but a simple wash and blessing upon his clothes keep them clean and beautiful. The mountain itself is a bit harsher than what he usually would consider beautiful, but the crystal mines glow with the magma behind them, lighting the walls with a myriad of colors, and the soft light in the palace does wonders for his looks, not to mention the way the ash and charcoal have helped his complexion. The halls are winding and strange, but following the system of bells and strings that he's seen messages shooting along means that even when lost, he can easily find a cyclops to help him to where he's going. Said cyclopes were unfriendly that first day, but now? They were nice beings, each one enthusiastic about the things they create and excited to be there, especially now that there's another person to talk to. They warmed to Seokjin fairly quickly after he asked what they were making; some kind of automaton, apparently, and when he asked what it was supposed to do, how it works, each eye lit up with glee as they began to explain it to him.

And you.

You are not violent at all. Every time you look at one of your workers, it is with friendship and happiness, and while you are easily distracted and yes, a bit temperamental, you are ultimately kind. He wants for nothing, everything he could ask for is given almost as soon as the words leave his mouth, he is free to come and go as he wishes, which is more than can be said for some of the other gods he's met. You have been unfailingly kind in the wake of your marriage to him. Everything he's witnessed, from the way you rushed to stamp out a flare at the bottom of his robes one day to the way you held a cyclops in your arms as he sobbed for a brother who had been lost to the sea, nothing has shown him that you are anything like what the Olympians say. You are frequently absent, locked away in your workshop for days at a time and leaving him to his own devices, but even that is a breath of fresh air. For so long, he's been surrounded by people - gods, nymphs, mortals, anyone and everyone all vying for his attention because he's beautiful and elegant, stealing precious moments of solitude where he can, and now he has as much as he desires. It makes him want to cry, he's so thankful for it. 

He's only left a few times, determined to visit Hera and see the few friends he keeps - Dionysus is always glad to see him, odd enough, and loves to hear his tales of life under the mountain. Each time he leaves, however, he's swarmed. Not always immediately, but it's as if the world can sense his return, and they come in droves, all to catch a glimpse of his beauty. It's exhausting and overwhelming now that he's had so much time on his own, which is the exact reason he doesn't leave very often. The worst of them is an especially willful war god, who Seokjin swears has been camping outside the volcano to know the second he leaves to visit a friend because the man is on him in a heartbeat and refuses to leave him alone. 

It's irritating and the way the man looks at him leaves him uncomfortable for days after he returns. He has half a mind to ask a cyclops to start accompanying him out, but even Seokjin knows better than to bring one of them to Olympus; Zeus would strike the gentle being down in a heartbeat just for daring to step where the gods live. 

He ponders what else he can do as he wanders the halls of the mountain, a habit at this point. He's been here weeks, each day better than the last, and still hasn't explored the entire place. He's on the lowest level now, heat scorching the hair on his arms and sandals blackened with ash. There's been quite a clamor down here somewhere for the past few days, and he's curious to see what project is being hammered out. 

He doesn't expect to turn a corner, walk past an open door, and see you, wheeling frantically around a large room, papers tucked in all sorts of pockets on your overalls, hair wild, face covered in soot. He watches, fascinated as you screech to a halt beside a large worktable, rifling through paper after paper before finally finding whatever it is you're looking for, only to push yourself to the other side of the room to pull a steaming piece of celestial bronze out of a pail. You look harried and distracted, not even having noticed him yet, and it…

It's honestly beautiful. 

He's always loved seeing beauty like this; the sheer, unfiltered rawness of creativity and passion. The way you and others lost themselves in their work, blind to everything but the vision in their heads, forgoing sleep and food and everything else in favor of making something out of nothing. It's beauty in its most naked form; the naked truth of being real, in the fleeting moments of existence, and Seokjin lives for it. It's his personal favorite of all the beauty in the world, and you encapsulate it better than anyone he's ever met. 

It's also beyond fascinating to watch you roll around on the wheels attached to your sandals. He can't help but wonder what it's like, to not have to take step after step and instead just roll through the slightly slanted halls of the mountain. 

"Did you make those?" He regrets the words almost immediately, reaching in futility to catch you as you turn and trip over a pail set just too far in your path for you to dodge. "I'm so sorry, I should have announced myself. I don't mean to keep startling you." 

"It's fine," you groan, though the hand on your hip is white-knuckled and your teeth are gritted. "I should have been paying more attention." He strides over and helps you to your feet, not missing the way you lean on him for support until you can sit on the now-overturned pail. "What did you need?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just exploring. Those, on your feet, though. You made them?" He smiles at your nod, however hesitant it is, and settles on the ground beside you to get a better look. "They're amazing. This compartment here, are they retractable?" You click your heels together in response, and Seokjin watches with wide eyes as the discs fold themselves up and slide into the soles of your sandals. "Amazing. Can you make me a pair?"

"You...you aren't going to tell Zeus, are you?" Your voice is the most unsure he's heard it, and he frowns.

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know, I just...he wouldn't really be happy if he knew I made these. Since I'm supposed to be suffering and everything, and they make it...not as terrible."

Seokjin scoffs. "No, I won't tell Zeus. You really do have to make me a pair, though, these are amazing. What else have you made?" Your eyes are wide when he looks back up at you, but you quickly pull papers out of your pockets to hand them over. 

"Well, this is my current schematic. I've just got to figure out how to get it to work."

"Is this...is this a person?"

"Kind of. The muses asked for some kind of...enhancement that would let them be heard in more places at once. So I've created this," You point to the left-most figure, which could only be Calliope. "Which is going to essentially absorb whatever the muse is doing, and then these," You run your finger along the other eight figures, each distinct but still matching overall, "Will distribute that to wherever they are. I've got a good basis for the visual representation, I think, and the audio system should be fine, but the issue I've been having is that I can't seem to get it to all...click."

"So you've got the transmitting figured out?"

"Yeah, that part was easy. And I built the miniatures, and they've been working fine, but I can't get the full sized ones to work correctly. I've smelted them down at least five times just to rebuild them." Seokjin stares at the papers in his hands, trying to make sense of the little scratches of handwriting that dart on and off the papers. He shakes his head, and pulls back, squinting.

"This may be a stupid question," He starts, looking at the front and side views you've drawn out, "But did you account for the weight?" You're silent for a long while, and when he looks up, you're gaping at him. "Sorry, of course you did, that was dumb."

"The fucking weight," You mutter. You're off in a flash, pulling the papers out of his hands to throw them down on a workbench and start scrawling again. "Because it wouldn't affect the smaller models since they use less material, but the full-size automatons would have the pressure which would affect the-" You start whispering to yourself, too rushed and quiet for him to make sense of, but he softens as he watches you go. He pulls the pail out of the way and sets it back against the wall before settling in on top of it.

He stays there for what feels like hours, watching as you pour adamantine into the molds and weld parts together and breathe that spark of life into the core of Calliope's automaton counterpart. He doesn't dare to breathe as you watch, hope clear in your eyes. Then the whirring starts and the automaton assumes a very Calliope-like pose, and you actually start to laugh and jump up and down. He can't keep the smile from his face, but he's satisfied now that he knows you're happy, so he moves to leave.

He's stopped by your voice, softer than he expected it over the hissing of the dying forge. He turns and you repeat your name. It sounds awkward on your lips, like you haven't said it in so long that your voice has forgotten what it sounds like, but you're smiling at him and you have soot on your face and he has to resist the urge to wipe it off. He echoes you quietly, and he thinks he's never heard a name more beautiful and fitting for someone like you.

Later, as he sinks into the steaming water of his rooms to wash the soot from his skin, he surprises himself. For the first time in his life, he wishes he wasn't a love god not for the unwanted attention, but because now he knows. He knows this feeling blossoming in his chest, and he knows how it mirrors that spark in your own heart. He can sense it, can feel it in the air as if it had actual weight to it, and he just...knows. He knows that you don't know what this is, that you probably will never realize what he feels, that you'll brush off your own feelings as some reluctant fondness while he can feel every step you take further into the magic of love.

And he won't be able to do anything to keep himself from falling in love with you and you won't ever be able to see that.

You've been locked in your workshop for days, putting the finishing touches on the Muses' automatons and adding the decorative bits you know they'll love. You haven't slept in twice as long, food even further from your mind, as it usually is when you get into one of your projects. It's a shock when Seokjin returns to your workshop balancing several trays of food and drink. You hold a strange fondness for him, unable to resist after he'd pointed out something so obvious in your designs. Anyone that could help you with your designs was worth at least knowing a little, you figure, but you never expected him to keep coming back.

And yet here is, directing three cyclopes to set cushions and blankets and all manner of soft, plush bedding on the ground just inside the door of your workshop. You gawk, wondering just how much nerve he has to be doing this and also what possible reason he thinks is good enough to disrupt you. 

"You need to eat," He says when he notices you staring at him. "Besides, you're basically finished with them, and you need sustenance and rest if I'm going to get my awesome wheel shoes." You refrain from mentioning that you've already got them made; you don't want to encourage him too much. Pelion gives you a look as he exits the room and you huff. Just because they spend centuries here, they think they can tell you when to take breaks and eat. Typical cyclops. 

You grumble as you wheel yourself to the mass of cushions Seokjin has created, but you quiet at the way it does ease the soreness in your leg. As good as you've become at drowning out the pain, the steady onslaught to your nerves has been fraying your attention more than you'll admit. 

Seokjin sits after you have and presents the food with a flourish. It all looks delicious, much better than the hasty gyros and wraps you put together, and your mouth waters. He very kindly does not mention how disgusting you must look as you begin to dig in, instead talking about a recent trip he'd taken to see Dionysus.

His tone eventually catches your attention more than his words. "Wait," You stop him, slurping down some ambrosia. "Back up. Someone's stalking you?"

"I...don't think I'd call it stalking, exactly. I don't think he's going to do anything, either, it's all just talk, but...well. It's still frustrating when I'm just trying to visit friends." 

"No, if it's bothering you, then it's an issue, then it needs to end. Tell me everything." And Seokjin does. From how the war god waits for him, either outside the mountain or outside Olympus, spends every moment Seokjin is gone following him around and saying some truly crude things. All of it makes your blood boil - Seokjin is kind, to the point that even the cyclopes love him, which is rare, and he gets harassed enough apparently without some god running around hitting on him constantly. 

The rumors, though. The rumors are what get you seeing red. It's no secret on Olympus that this was an arranged marriage; they aren't uncommon among gods, and they aren't usually a scandal, but yours apparently is. Seokjin hesitates when he tells you about them, and you nearly break your fork in your effort to keep your rage from him. All sorts of stories, from you abusing him, forcing things he isn't comfortable with, keeping him chained up, feeding him pieces of your cyclopes, that you had bought him from Zeus with promises of gifts from the forge. Each is as terrible as the last, and all of them have your stomach rolling, and Seokjin reluctantly explains that he believes the war god to be the source of most of them. 

"Well," You say, violently spearing a grape. "That must be stopped, immediately. I refuse to allow people to think of you like that, it's utterly disrespectful." You wobble to your feet and roll over to the wall of ideas you hadn't managed to get around to yet. "What do you think? Maiming? Or is that too quick? I've got a truly brilliant idea for a bull, it could eat him if I use the right materials. It'd take at least a hundred years for him to get out of that."

"Well," Seokjin eventually says. You turn to look at him, excitement bright in your eyes. The wheels in his brain are turning and he's got a fondness on his face as he lounges on pillows and cushions; it melts your heart. He looks every bit the love god he is, and something in you wants to sob at the thought. "I would say, personally, if he's going to embarrass us in such a public way, then it should only really be fair to embarrass him in such a way." He tosses the knife in his hand and it embeds itself in one of the papers on your wall. You ignore the throb of arousal that runs through you, looking instead at the design he's chosen. 

"Oh," You whisper. Ideas are already running rampant in your mind. "Yes, I think this could be a very good plan." 

Seokjin is in stitches when he next sees you, clutching at his sides as his laughter echoes through your workshop. The sight of his harasser in your net as he spouted off a variety of kinks that made even Zeus blush, in the middle of the golden city with all of the gods around him isn't one Seokjin is likely to forget. 

"I still don't understand how you did it," He says, calming slightly as he wipes tears from his eyes. "How did you weave such a net, and how did you enchant it to make him say such things?"

"It wasn't much," You say. Your smile is beautiful, a treasure rarer than all the gems that he wears and more valuable than anything he's come across. He wants to wear it, wants you to keep smiling like that, with such pride in your work and happiness radiating from you. "...and then Arachne wove it all together." He nods as if he'd heard the rest of what you said. Part of him feels guilty for not listening; it really is fascinating, how you craft such wonderful things out of such pedestrian supplies.

"You're amazing," He says. He doesn't mean to, but it's true. Even now, as you lean against your workbench, fingers digging into the skin of your hip without even realizing you're doing it, smile slowly fading into something else - something more - you are radiant. Soot across your face and wheels on your shoes and the kindest heart he's ever seen in a goddess, and he wants you like no one else. There has always been beauty in creation, always been love in inspiration, and you are the ultimate mix of the two, painted over with enough cunning and determination to keep at your work no matter what. 

He steps closer to you, slowly, and brings a hand up to wipe at the soot on your cheek. It smears under his thumb and your breath hitches in the most attractive way.

It's unbearably attractive, honestly, and it makes an ache swell within him that goes deeper than the physical. He wants to keep you smiling like that, wants to watch you work and bring you gyros and cart you to a hot bath on a bad day. He can see it, all of it, splayed in front of him as clear as if he were an Oracle. He'd waltz into your workshop and pepper you with kisses before pulling you out after him. Your wheels would squeak along the stone floor but you wouldn't complain even as he settles you in hot water and makes you forget your pain as he asks about your newest designs and creations. He can see it, and it's beautiful, and he wants it so bad that it hurts. 

Almost as much as it hurts when your face falls, expression closing off into the same passive coolness that greeted him when he first arrived. You slide your way around him and turn to face another worktable. It hurts, the way you won't look at him, and moves something deep and primal inside him. It urges him to go on, to trap you against that table and make you open up to him, make sure you know that you can trust him to satisfy you.

He stamps it down with a long breath. 

"Well," He says, pointedly ignoring your shaky breathing. "Thank you, again, for helping me. I suppose I'll see you around."

"You don't need to thank me, Seokjin," You say. Your voice is tight and your hands twitch and he wants to kiss you until the pain is gone forever. He doesn't. "You're my husband, I was only doing what was right."

"Still," He says, "It means more to me than you know."

You don't respond, and he leaves before you can. He doesn't want you to, doesn't want to hear the reluctant rejection spill from your lips when he knows. He's a love god, he knows when someone is in love, can feel in the air and taste it on his tongue. He knows that scent better than his own face and your workroom was suffocating with it. 

He has no doubt that some was his own; he knows this fluttering in his chest, the rolling of his stomach, the spark of lightning dancing along his skin. He knows. 

But he can smell the hesitation, too. Can see the way you fight the feeling, in every aborted reach for his hand and each averted gaze when he looks at you. You love him, he's so sure of it, but you don't want to be.

And he cannot force you to change your mind about that. He won't. He just isn't sure how long he can last without telling you that he loves you, too.

Curses spill from your lips as you glide cautiously through the hallways. You've grown too complacent, comfortable around your husband. You very nearly slipped the other day, were a hair's breadth from throwing caution to the wind and kissing him; it was a miracle you caught yourself. He'd just looked so happy. The smile, that laugh, everything about him was just glowing in the light of your workshop, and then he'd complimented you. 

It's been decades since someone complimented your work like that, and none of them had done so with that look in their eyes. The gentle warmth, the fondness, the glow.

The love.

That was what startled you out of your thoughts, the sheer love that radiated from him. That was what made you push him away. It's what has kept you from seeing him for nearly a week, turning on your heel and going the other direction when you spot him. You can't handle love.

Not just because you've never known such an emotion, not just because you've never had anyone look at you that way, but because...he's a love god. A man like Seokjin surely falls in love every day with each passing stranger that catches his eye, and you...don't. You've never felt this before, you've never had someone love you, you don't know how it works, and worse, you can't figure it out. 

You can't take love apart and look at each gear and cog and spring until you can piece it back together into a whole again. You can't observe and tinker and improve on something like love. Clouds and lightning? Simple mediums. Celestial bronze? Malleable as clay under your hands. But love? No, that was something utterly foreign to you. 

You drop to your bed and pull your leg up beside you to inspect the wheel. It's cracked, badly, and it's a shock that it survived long enough to get you to your room. You lean closer and flinch at the stabbing pain that rolls through you. It's a stark reminder of yet another reason you don't belong with Seokjin. A god like him has almost definitely lain with the most beautiful in all creation; he surrounds himself with only the finest gems, the softest cloth, the richest wine. He only accepts the best. 

You are far from being the best. Mutilated and scarred, left to limp around your mountain in solitude. You're past acceptance of your pain and the scars that mark your skin, you don't really care much that they exist anymore most days. Life could be easier without them, but would you have become the person you are today without them? You wouldn't have been so determined to find an easier way around, you wouldn't have worked for days on the wheeled sandals, you wouldn't have discovered your passion for creating. 

You wouldn't be in pain, though. And maybe, just...maybe, Seokjin would find you beautiful. As beautiful as the twinkling stones around his throat and the flowing silks across his chest. Beautiful enough to stay beneath this mountain in the smoke and heat, to press his pillow-soft lips against yours, to love without abandon. Now, though, with your scars and pain and awkward gait, you find yourself doubting what you saw. It could have been love, yes, but how likely is that? A love god forced to live in a suffocating cave, wed to the laughingstock of the pantheon. It's more likely that he's attached himself to the nearest person that shows him any affection, despite how desperately you want him to really feel something for you.

Three succinct knocks on the door of your room jar you away from the thought.

"Come in," You call. You wish you were more surprised to see Seokjin, purple hair prettily faded and matching the soft lavender cloth that drapes from his shoulders. 

"Can I have a few minutes of your time, Hephaestus?" He hasn't used your title since you told him your name, and it hurts to hear it now. Cements the fact that you are too different.

You nod, and the pain in your hip keeps you from moving away when he comes to kneel before you. 

"I love you," He says matter-of-factly. "I've let you avoid me this past week because it's not my place to force these feelings on you, but the stench of heartbreak is too much now. It just lingers in the halls and it's starting to seep into my clothes and if it keeps up, I might have to double my skincare routine because it soaks into my pores. So I love you. A lot more than I ever expected to, and probably more than I've ever loved anything in my life."

You gape at him. "What...why…what?"

"You are creative and cunning and petty and inventive and intelligent and determined and it's so beautiful," He says. There's not an ounce of hesitation in his face, and it steals the words from your throat. "I love you, and I need you to know that so you stop stinking up the forge with your angst and heartbreak. I understand if you don't want to be with me-"

"What heartbreak, what-"

"Well, I don't actually," Jin continues, ignoring your protests. "I'm really quite the catch and to deny yourself of me when you love me this much would be an entirely new and advanced form of masochism, but nevertheless, I will accept your rejection, however inane and ill-advised it may be, because it is, ultimately, your choice. You can tell me to go, and I will, and you won't ever know I'm here again. But, if you accept this, then…"

He trails off and his eyes soften impossibly as he wraps his hands around yours. You've never believed people could communicate so much with just a single look, but you're proven wrong by the sheer emotion in his gaze. Your name falls from his lips, and it's never sounded so nice to your ears.

"If you accept, then I swear to you, I will spend every hour of every day ensuring you feel loved. I will bring you food when you forget to eat, I will tidy your workshop when you can't find anything, I will carry you wherever you need to go when the pain is too much to bear." One hand moves to rest along your hip, warmth distracting you from the stab of pain that ghosts through it. "I will be everything and anything that you need, always and forever, and I won't let another moment pass with you thinking otherwise."

He looks at you with expectation in his eyes, and you...can't speak. There are no words for what you're feeling; the sureness of his love warring with the anxiety of not being worth it. You open your mouth several times to respond and find that you can't; of all the words flying around in your mind, none of them make it out. He waits, for longer than you would have, before he sighs and nods. 

"That's fine. Love is complicated even at the best of times." He stands, and the loss of his hands on you feels like part of you is being ripped away. "If you ever change your mind, let me know." 

His smile is sad as he leaves, and the clink of the door behind him is the last nail in the coffin. Something wet and warm hits your hand, and you realize you're crying. When did you start crying? You struggle to your feet, rolling wildly across the room before you gain your balance. 

The door swings open as you shove past it, the last bit of his purple robes turning the corner, and you shove off the wall to gain speed. You can't let him go. The knowledge surges through you with surety you've never felt, and it feels like there's a timer above your head, counting down to the moment you lose him forever. His name echoes through the halls, even though you don't remember calling it, and you speed around a corner to him. 

He's half turned to face you already, about to head down another hall since this one dead ends, and it's as you go to brake that you remember the cracked wheel. There is no braking, you're lucky you've made it so far, but you're at top speed right now and there's no time.

"Don't-" is all you can get out before you're crashing into him, wincing as he falls down to the hard ground and the wheel splits in half beneath you. The pain comes an instant later, too much weight too suddenly, and it would bring tears to your eyes if you didn't fight them down. 

"Wow," Jin says after a second. "You really did fall for me, didn't you?" His laughter drowns out your groan, but it's worth it for the way he's smiling at you. 

"I…" You hesitate, unsure of the words. He waits, patient and relaxed even as he adjusts you to sit on his lap instead of the rock. "I do. I want this."

"I know," He says with a grin. "It's nice to hear you say it, though." He doesn't flinch at the smack you give his shoulder, just presses a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"I swear to all the gods, Seokjin, if you don't stop, I'm going to put this discus through your skull."

"Ooh, please do. I hear that's how Athena was born."

"Seriously?"

"You're right, we don't need anyone else like that running around." 

You let your tools fall to the table in front of you and spin around to face your husband. He's exactly where he has been for hours, lounging among pillows and silks on the bed he's had installed in your workshop. A bowl of grapes sits nearby and he's been working his way through them for what feels like forever. If you weren't so irritated, you'd be struck dumb by the image he paints, half-naked and glowing as he pops a fruit between his lips. 

As it stands, you're just frustrated and horny now, which is never really a good thing, but especially not on bad days. The ache has made it hard to think, and you've been shuffling around all day trying to find a position that made it hurt just a little less but had no such luck. You've made no progress on the designs in front of you, either; between Seokjin's commentary and the fog of pain in your mind, you had no concentration. 

"I'm trying to work, Seokjin. We had an agreement, remember? You could have the bed installed, you can hang out here, I don't mind, but you have to let me work." 

"You've been trying for hours," Seokjin whines. "Take a break with me, please? You need to rest your hip anyway, or you won't be able to focus." You hate that he's right, and you hate that he knows he's right, and you really hate that he knows you know he's right. You grumble as you wheel over to him and as you slide your shoes off. It's his one rule about the bed, no shoes, and while you can't blame him since they were covered in ash and soot and rock, you still like to complain about it. 

His hands are on you in an instant, gliding under your shirt and massaging your hip. You sink into the touch, sighing as the pain lessens slightly.

"Let me help? We've still got some of the lotion that Apollo sent as a wedding favor. I brought it down, just in case." Lips press soft kisses to your shoulder, and you know it's only a matter of time before you give in. You should probably be a little ashamed of how little it takes for your husband to distract you, but you can't bother to care now. 

You nod, and you feel him smile against your skin. He's gone and back in a heartbeat and he lays you back against the pillows carefully. You wince when your hip rests flat, instantly adjusting to bear your weight elsewhere. 

"Is it bad today?" He mutters as he slides your usual leathers off. Any shyness and embarrassment you once had are long gone, softened by the passage of time and the sheer amount of times he's seen you naked. 

"No," You respond quietly. He shoots you a disbelieving look. "It's more annoying than usual, I suppose, but it's not any worse than usual."

"You shouldn't have irritated it by working," Seokjin says as he runs some of Apollo's lotion between his hands to warm it. "You could have stayed right here and gotten more done."

"I can't forge a throne from the bed, Seokjin."

"No, but you can draw designs for it. And for the jewelry I promised Dionysus."

"I still don't know how you talked me into making something for him that isn't a chastity belt or a guillotine." The heat in your words is dulled with every slide of your husband's hands over your hip. The lotion starts working almost immediately, sinking into your skin and dissipating any discomfort it reaches. Seokjin is smiling as he works and pats your thigh lightly. You twist more, laying on your side so he can reach the back of your thigh. 

"You can't be mad at him forever, can you?" He asks. You open your mouth to disagree - as a goddess, you quite literally can - but only a squawk comes out when he slaps your ass and watches it jiggle. He laughs as you slap at his shoulder, no real strength behind it. 

"That's it, give me my clothes, I have work to do." 

"Mm, I don't think so. Apollo said you have to rest for a while after applying, remember?" He leans down to press a kiss to your cheek. 

"What do you expect me to do, just lay here and do nothing? I can't turn my brain off, Seokjin, I'll go mad if I have to lay here without being able to work."

"I actually had other ideas." The smile never leaves his face, and as he leans over you, you can feel the length of him pressing into your thigh. "Still just laying there, but much more enjoyable."

"Scandalous," You whisper, fighting a smile. "What would my husband think?"

"That you look sexier than anything he's ever seen like this and that he wants nothing more than to make you forget about anything but him." 

“That doesn’t sound very restful,” You tease as he kisses along your neck and down to your collarbone. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you can feel his familiar smile against your skin; he always does love it when you get flustered.  “I’m pretty sure Apollo specified ‘no sex’ in his definition of resting. He was pretty clear about it, actually, which makes me wonder what you’ve told him.”

Seokjin nips at your collarbone lightly. “Didn’t I say I want you to forget about anything but me?”

“Didn’t you say you were going to make me?” You retort. It’s a familiar argument, as comfortable and warm as Seokjin’s hands massaging your hip and thigh. His silk-soft hands dip downwards even as he rises, lifting your leg up and hooking your ankle around his neck. The discomfort that hits is overshadowed by the relieving stretch, and heat pools in your belly when you feel his length press against you once more, significantly closer to where you’d like it. He straddles your free leg, pressing against your naked core. 

“Seokjin, please,” You mutter. His touch is feather-light now, fingertips ghosting over your skin and marveling at the goosebumps they raise. You wiggle underneath him as he begins to trace your scars. The first time you’d done this, you didn’t let him linger; you were too embarrassed, too ashamed, too aware of the marks that start just above your hip and travel nearly to your knee. He’d insisted on it the next time, but you’d kept the room dark so you wouldn’t have to see his face. Months had passed before you could bear to watch him look at you, and when you did, it shocked you. It still does. It never seems to matter how many times he sees you like this, bare and vulnerable, scars on full display underneath his large hands. He always wears the same expression, the same awe reflecting in his eyes each time, his touch always gentle and careful, like he doesn’t want to make it worse than it already is. There’s no disgust, there’s no carefully crafted neutrality, nothing that you convinced yourself to expect. Just pure, unfiltered love.

It’s there still, radiant as he slides his hands along your skin. The sensation is dulled along the scar tissue, and yet you feel it in your very core. Wetness seeps into the fabric Seokjin is still wearing, and you whimper a little. He shushes you softly, grinding lightly to give you just a taste of the friction you so desire.

“Oh, my beautiful little blacksmith,” He coos. “You are absolutely soaked, did you know that? I haven’t even started yet, and you’re already so ready for me.” You whine as he slides a finger along your folds. You try to buck into his touch, but his other hand holds your hips firmly in place, though he never stops his massage. “Ah-ah, none of that. You’ll make the pain worse.”

You huff slightly under your breath, but you know he’s right. It’s a lesson you’ve learned several times over. 

“Seokjin, don’t tease,” You plead. You let your lip pout, knowing he can’t resist the very rare sight. “You said you would distract me. Or should I go back to my designs?”

“If you think you can,” He responds amicably. You turn slightly, your back resting flush against the bed while he moves your leg to wrap around his waist. It’s still twisted to the side, but the position helps with the pain leftover from the ointment. You open your mouth to snark at your husband, but all that comes out is a loud moan as he sinks two fingers deep inside you. His length, pressed into the meat of your ass, twitches at the sound. 

“Fuck, Seokjin,” You breathe. The way his fingers fit inside you is like no other feeling, and you could spend centuries trying to recreate it with no luck. 

"That's it, love," Seokjin purrs. His eyes are blown wide with desire and focused entirely on where his fingers disappear into you. "You take my fingers so good, sweetheart, like you were made just for me." A whimper escapes and you roll your hips slightly so he hits deeper inside. He grins and quickens his pace, knowing all too well what your body wants at this point. His thumb comes up to rub circles into your clit, gentle but firm; your back arches and your vision goes white with the force of the orgasm that's torn from you, and when you open your eyes, Seokjin is glowing. Literally, because you found out after the first time he made you come that that's a thing that happens to him.

"Please, love. I want you inside." Seokjin chuckles a little at your words, and if you had the energy, you'd kick him, but your legs don't work very well on a good day, so it's unlikely.

"Always so impatient," He tuts, though he does slide his fingers out of you and into his mouth. He moans at the taste of you, and your pussy clenches around nothing, because it's absolute sin to hear, and you wonder idly if maybe those Christians were on to something when they started talking about things being so good it's unholy.

Seokjin grabs your attention with a soft nip to your calf, accustomed to the way your mind wanders. He smiles at you, soft and private and beautiful, and lifts your hips with one hand. He slides a pillow underneath you and stifles a laugh at the way you wiggle into comfort as he settles your legs on either side of his hips. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” You huff. Seokjin doesn't respond, but you can see him trying not to smile as he pumps his cock lazily with one hand. "It's not very polite to laugh at your wife. In fact, it's considered fairly rude."

"Oh, is it?" He teases as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. The contact is brief but has your heart jumping in your throat nevertheless. 

"Yes," You reply, "It is. You should be nicer to m- fuck, Seokjin." He grins against your lips at your reaction, stilling as he bottoms out inside you. The stretch is perfect, would hurt if it didn't feel so good, and he knows it.

"What was that?" He asks. He nips at your lips when you whine. He drags his cock out, slow and delicious as you tighten around him, before sliding himself just as slowly back in. You'd be embarrassed about the moan that escapes you if you could focus on anything that isn't the way he feels inside you. 

From the first time he slid inside, there's always been something so right about the feeling. He fills every part of you, thick and long and harder than the bronze you work with every day. You've never been to the underworld, but you imagine this is what the Isles of the Blessed are like for the mortals, because it's rapturous. 

He thrusts gently in the beginning, always, careful to be sure he isn't too rough with your hip. He doesn't stop kissing you, plump lips moving sinuously against your own and breathing in every little moan and whine you make as he moves. He's so slow, so considerate, lets you set the pace each time, and right now? Right now, this is good. The slow, sensual strokes that you can feel against your walls, the steady press of him against your g-spot with every thrust, the warmth of his hand traveling from your thigh up your torso to tweak your nipple as he moves to glide a thumb over your jaw and then retrace his path back down. This is exactly what you want: the two of you moving together, slow and soft and perfect. 

You have plenty of time to try some wild new position later, after all. 

Your stomach lurches at the thought, heat pooling between your thighs as the band in your tummy steadily stretches. He doesn't change his pace at all, just adds a bit more force as he thrusts inside, and the added force against that spot inside has you seeing stars. Your moans are echoing and loud and with each one, Seokjin's glow just gets brighter and brighter. His hand wanders between your legs, rubbing small circles into your clit in time with his thrusts. 

"Show me, love," He mutters in your ear. "Love you so much, show me how it makes you feel. Let go for me." You whimper, blunt nails digging into the skin of his back. He doesn't stop, whispers exactly what he wants to see you do, but it's the way he says your name - quiet and reverent, like you may disappear if he's too loud - that finally has the cord snapping.

It must be too much, because you come to after a few minutes - maybe, time is so strange as a goddess - to find Seokjin rubbing soothing circles into your hips and pressing gentle kisses along the column of your throat. Your pussy contracts around him, and you whimper when you realize he's still hard inside you. 

"You didn't…?" You mutter, finding more words are too much work right now. 

"No, I don't need to," He assures you. He starts to pull out, but you manage to get a hand on his shoulder. 

"Want to," You mumble. Talking is hard, but you manage. "Want to feel you. Inside. Fuck. Please." He asks you if you're sure and you nod, and that's when he kisses you, soft and sweet and completely at odds with his next words.

"Gonna fuck you so good, my little blacksmith," He groans as he begins thrusting once more. He's faster now, hips snapping roughly against yours as he chases his high. "Can't wait to fill you up, wanna see you so full of my cum, want you to swell with it." He grins as you moan, tightening around him as another orgasm approaches. "You like that, love? You want me to fuck you full of my cum? Fill you up so good that it spills out of you for days?" He hisses a curse under his breath as you buck. Your free hand moves downward, rubbing at your clit gently. It's just the right edge of overstimulation, and it sends you off the edge once more, clenching around him. His hips stutter, and the feeling of you milking his cock sends him past the brink as well, and then he's painting your walls with cum. 

Later, after he's fucked his cum into you three more times and then eaten it out, he watches you draw a lazy sketch on the little bit of paper that you can reach. 

"It looks good," He says softly. You hum, wrinkling your nose. 

"I'm worried it's too...understated, I guess."

"No, I think it's perfect for her," Seokjin assures you. "Very Hera. Though, you should put in a secret compartment here, so she can stash her sex toys somewhere he won't look."

"What? No! I'm not building a secret sex toy stash in my mother's throne!"

"Fine." He's quiet for a few more minutes as you sketch. "I'll just get the cyclopes to do it."

[fheythfully]

Putting all my thoughts on the 5.3 MSQ under the cut. Beware of course of spoilers! Overall I really enjoyed the patch. There were a lot of times where I sounded like an excited dinosaur.

So first things first, the way the patch started with the kids was so cute. I was expecting more with the Ardbert-esque kid, especially when he said he wanted to adventure with friends because he felt like he was missing something... but then they didn’t? I’m not sure what the point of that line of his was then. Ardbert’s soul is inside ours, and also has been shown to have moved on, but I wonder if some fragment of it--the part that is bound to the specific world’s Lifestream--can be reborn? Anyway. A bit bummed we didn’t get more with that train of thought but it was cute nevertheless. Also, apothecary. I was going “IS THIS A HINT?” the moment the kiddo said she wanted to be one as a WoL.

Also, I am totally writing a shortfic of the twins, Satella and Ryne hanging out in the Crystarium library with Moren bringing them books of interest while they sneak in tea and snacks. Ryne falls asleep and is eventually found by Thancred. Alisaie teases him for being a doting father. When everyone leaves, Satella is left cozily snuggled up as the evening turns feeling almost like home at the Arcanist’s Guild.

I really liked the bit where Alisaie’s desire to surpass the WoL and competitive nature is shown, and that some part of it is due to insecurity. I love the character depth and growth SE gives her over the patches. I just about had a heart attack when she started getting woozy with a noise in her head.

Elidibus feeling summoned by the WoL and seeing an Amaurotine in their stead gave me feelings, because it means we are whole enough now to form some sort of connection to the Ascians. Only sundered ones are left now though, so I wonder if that will still stay true.

I did have a heart attack at hearing Thancred collapsed. I was not expecting him to be okay when we got back to see him. Dawn’s Respite scene was very sobering and set me up for something entirely different than the ending we got (thank god).

Alisaie being stubborn and sullen with the Exarch made me wonder if she’s seeing the past with Louisoux in him, and Alphinaud’s comment about how she handled their grandfather leaving all that well all but confirmed it. That’s very sweet.

I made a very loud note as I was playing at the fact that a Rejoining soul must recognize its part on the Source as itself. Not sure if that was just for the Exarch���s case (though there are comments about how we and Ardbert fused very easily too) but I have Filed This Away.

Seeing Shtola collapsed gave me another heart attack but she’s definitely possessed of nine lives. The duty with Elidibus was fantastic, though the lack of voice acting caught me off guard (covid? are duties never voiced?). Fighting the baby Scions made me full of glee and then it got even better from there. Answers playing over the city, and then the HW theme, and then SB--fantastic. I especially paused when it started snowing. I appreciate a lot what Elidibus was doing, which was trying to show to us that the people who seem so ancient and recreated only as puppets had once meant something to him and his own. The fight was a lot of fun. I took a screenshot of berserk-Ardbert for kicks.

Also, the bit where he calls you by your name, and the name is switched from Elidibus to Ardbert. My heart. I have a lot of notes about this for future writing.

Elidibus as Zodiark’s heart and primal weren’t a big surprise as it’s been confirmed before (I think?) BUT he’s basically the primal for the idea of the Warrior of Light and I think that is magnificent. I still don’t have a full grasp on Elidibus as shown in this patch: his memories are fractured, whether by age or Zodiark; he’s driven both by his own ambition and Zodiark’s influence. He’s all over the place and I’m going to have to take better measure of him as I replay everything in NG+.

I have a note that says, “Ella why are you picking up random things off the ground that your enemies have dropped???” but it all turned out even better than okay. I don’t understand how he could have dropped all those Convocation crystals other than as a plot point but whatever. It was a great sequence. “All that remains is to pray. To pray that we will one day meet again, beneath a blue sky.” Made me tear up. The twisting of the Convocation from the gentle, kind Amaurotines to what they are today is brutally heart breaking.

I made a note of how the trees in Amaurot are starting to wither--I am not sure if we’ve always had that? But if not, definitely a small sign of Hades’ magic fading?

Bear with me now but I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT AZEM. I of course didn’t get the title right (my 14th is Altima), but I got the duty/job so almost right. My Altima is the Shepherd, though to the souls on the planet living and departing to create and live alongside the Lifestream. The entire scene with Hyth had me shaking in my chair with excitement over how perfectly it described my headcanon 14th--down to her wandering the planet when she wasn’t in the city. Granted it fits with all our WoLs and is specifically made to be so, but I am so excited. Not sure what I’ll do with this when I write, whether I will alter my canon to fit the game or plow on ahead, but we’ll see. I’m just so excited. And the new TITLE fits my OCs to a T. God, thank you, SE. I also love that we are the “sun” and can’t wait for the future connections and theories about the 14th and Azeyma and Azim.

“After all, I cannot say whether I act of my own volition or by the will of my recreator!” Made me laugh-cry.

Scions confirmed that seeing Amaurot awoke a great grief in them, which was then supported by the random Eulmore NPC crying at the sight of it. So, it’s not even reliant on how whole your soul is: everyone who sees it feels something, a soul-genetic memory, maybe? I can’t wait to use this. Also makes me wonder if this is why in the patch the Scions are more wont to encourage you to talk things out with Elidibus, as in SHB they were pretty set against Emet-Selch.

The new dungeon was okay. I need to replay it again and look around more (is there a hint of Hildibrand there??). The Necromancer and Berserker class, though the latter may be Warrior same way Arcanists are called Ink Mage, made me pout a little. I want Necromancer. Also, THIER White Mages get Protect? Pffft.

I didn’t take any notes for the trial but. It was brilliant. The run through Crystal Tower with the Exarch was a wonderful callback (there were so many callbacks, it was great) and then when he told us to go ahead I was like, you better mean it that you don’t plan to play your trump card unless we’re present! The trial itself was breathtaking. When the Amaurotine first showed up I thought it was Azem, then when they snapped their fingers I was like cool we can do that too, and then they did the Emet-Selch wave and I lost it. HOW!? Shtola has a theory that even she admits is far fetched but. Wow. I am wondering which one it may be: Emet-Selch truly somehow having his soul live (we were just in the space where Ascians’ souls go between bodies) and assisted us; or was he called by Azem’s crystal as a memory; or was it a memory entirely? Just. That cameo. I miss you, Emet-Selch. For yours is the seat of the fourteenth broke me also and I’m just all over the place. Elidibus as the Warrior of Light was great.

I don’t understand why he went Baby in the end there. I can’t imagine the Convocation recruited and sacrificed a child. My headcanon is that it’s just meant to represent his childlike devotion and drive to his goals. He wanted to help his brothers and sisters so badly he detached himself from Zodiark. Seeing him sitting there cradling the crystals and talking about how it’s a beautiful day and they’re not there to see it was heartbreaking. The Amaurotines lost so, so much--and there’s no way to bring any of it back. I am glad the Unsundered have finally a chance to rest.

The goodbye scene with Ryne was a little lacking to me. I wanted Thancred to hug her, damn it. At least he told her he’s proud of her. She’s so brave with how she tries not to cry before them. She’s coming into her own, with her own ideals, but also so like Minfilia’s that it made my heart full. I will act as her post moogle to Thancred any time, kupo.

Also the one line she has in Twine about how Gaia is her friend who will be there for her is sweet and I laugh at the idea of Gaia’s reaction.

Okay, so, the ending. Probably the thing I did not expect at all. I expected death. No one died. The animations were beautiful, and Alisaie was such a joy to watch. Just. I don’t have words for it. I was so overcome with happiness at how perfect they all were: Alisaie sinking into her chain in a sulk, the Archons fondling their weapons, Alphinaud with tea and a book. Alisaie jumping off to go find a fight and Alphinaud’s brotherly exasperation. The banter between Urianger and Y’Shtola. My heart is so, so full.

On to the topic of the Exarch, which I did not expect to have this many feelings on: first of all, I expected him to die. We all did. How can one man survive SO many death flags!? When our WoL ran out of the Stones like a wound up mammet I was there with her, heart pounding praying for it to have worked. I am bummed that we didn’t get to experience him actually waking, but that means I can write about it... which I already did, actually. Because: I came out of this with a very unexpected, slowly unfurling Ella/G’raha ship. This was a surprise because ARR G’raha was not someone I even remembered all that well, as I played CT when it came out, but I remember thinking he was a bit too immature for romantic ships; and the Exarch always felt too distant and too much. I was fond of him in SHB but in a passing way, also because I was a little bitter that he put the Scions in such danger in the first place (though I understand all the good that’s come as a result, like uncovering the true Ascian plots). Seeing him at the end there, as a fusion of G’raha and the Exarch, somehow turned my view of him on its head and in that moment, I could easily see Ella and him running off and having proper adventures together. The driving attraction to all my ships is a form of shared experience, or at least understanding of what it’s like to bear a heavy burden on your shoulders. The Exarch was again, too much in his role, and I couldn’t see Ella feeling comfortable being close with him. But now, with this ending? Watching the two of them run off together? Oh, I am excited.

I even wrote four pages of fluff on how he got those bobby pins in his hair and I never write fluff. Please look forward to it being posted soon.

Lastly: Ardbert. If you’ve been around my blog long enough, you’ll know that I’ve been an Ardbert shipper since HW. SHB was so good to me in that regard. Personally, I got closure regarding him in the scene of him offering us his axe and was happy with it. I was overjoyed to see him get closure with Seto now, too. I’m not happy with Elidibus using his body and then tearing it apart as he did, but: it made for great angst and sometimes that’s actually okay with me. The confirmation that he can talk to and through us is interesting and I imagine that he does so rarely, as his soul is finally at rest with his friends--where it truly belongs. He lets us live our life, and a part of him is always with us, now. I imagine him and Ella at one point having a conversation about her burgeoning feelings for G’raha, as in my canon she’s never felt quite a strong enough connection or level of comfort with anyone but Ardbert, and him giving her his “blessing” and encouraging her that it’s okay to chase after the comfort and happiness G’raha can bring her. Especially since all of SHB she was in a very very bad place and this ending we got gives me such a sense of respite, no matter how fleeting.

Speaking of fleeting: Zenos and Asahi/Fandaniel. I am still hoping Zenos gets more interesting because I just can’t bring myself to like him, and seeing him destroy the Garlean empire before we even step foot into it is making me a little pouty. Fandaniel is interesting on a few accounts: he’s a sundered Ascians, so what will that mean? Clearly he’s been unhappy with the Unsundereds’ plans. He’s also pretty crazy for “the bringer of order”, if we follow the FF12 Espers. We didn’t get a lot so I am hesitantly interested. But also, Asahi? I hate that kid...

My last thoughts on this are: the Ascian storyline was meant to come to an end with this patch, but clearly we’re still getting content. So I am hoping that was for the Unsundered Ascians and we’ll find out more about the summon of Hydaelyn and all that. I... have exhausted myself typing all this. Wow.

BUT I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THIS PATCH AND WILL REPLAY THAT HAPPY ENDING MANY TIMES. I can’t wait for the future.

[natsunoomoi]

Finished Main Story of SVSSS....

So yeah, I did that. I still really liked the story overall. Some parts are a bit problematic in a way, but also in a satisfying way that is complex and I think can refer to some real life relationships and complexities of that because not all relationships fit nicely into the little boxes and labels that we make and that’s my take away from the ending.

-Don’t like the in-story “original author” still, but also don’t dislike him as much as I did when I started the story now that I got more of his perspective. MXTX posted all of this for free not thinking it would go anywhere really, but it’s true that some people do have careers where they make a living off of their webnovels and fans buying chapters, so that pressure is there. I’m sure that because MXTX is also a fan of D. Gray-man, she’s aware of the similar pressures that even mangaka at JUMP face. Like BLEACH basically ended early because it fell out of popularity with the fans just as Airplane mentions happens to some novel works. To be fair, BLEACH also lifted an entire plotline from another popular supernatural manga including carbon copies of the lackeys of the villain for that arc, so some shade was also deserved. Like Yukio is just Amanuma Tsukihito with a PSP instead of an arcade system or Super Famicom. D. Gray-man itself has also been on hiaitus several times due to health concerns and such. Same as Hunter x Hunter and other prolific manga. The pressure is real and some ways the original author is kind of a mood. He’s also still a huge coward and that’s annoying.

-I feel worse for Shen Jiu than when I did when I was just reading his backstory off of the wikis and stuff from just wanting to see Shen Qingqiu’s beautiful face. Like I felt bad before, but after knowing more and witnessing some sentiments that would have been gut punches if Shen Jiu had heard them, I feel so bad for him. I don’t condone what he did, but I also get it and wish I could hug him. Basically about the same level of thought as I put into how much I like Emet-Selch, but I think overall in the end I love Emet-Selch more because the 5.3 patch update for FFXIV broke me. Man, that MSQ. Like I’ve never been opposed to liking villains and always thought some villains were cool. Like my sister worships Sephiroth from FFVII for instance, but like I was never really into Sephiroth’s motivations in that he’s cool, but his identity crisis didn’t quite strike me as like actually 100% believable that torching Nibelheim and trying to rescue Jenova was justified or a natural reaction someone in his position would have. I like him more than Cloud cuz Cloud is a hot fucking mess of a person and he’s overall just cool, but as a villain his motivations didn’t resonate with me.  A lot of people also really liked Kefka because he’s just straight up insane and like chaotic evil, but that kind of evil just isn’t compelling to me. Emet-Selch though straight up broke me and I thought about him for like months after the initial end of Shadowbringers when you do the fight with Hades. His story is ripe with meaning and nuance and the Tales from the Shadows stories adding more nuance and color to his eternal living torture of seeing remnants of people he cared about constantly without a break or a way to really “forget” and heal. That just stuck with me because I’ve lost people in my life too, and I remember what that was like and how hard it was to even live the day after let alone the following few years. I remember it well even today because it fundamentally changed me as a person, but I was able to find some relief and escape from music and entertainment and going out to have new experiences and travel. Emet-Selch could not, so his story really broke me internally. I bring this up just to make a comparison because I love Shen Jiu as well, but for nowhere near as dramatic a reason as I love Emet-Selch.

Spoilers under the cut

Okay, so since I was just talking about Shen Jiu, and maybe it’s partly because I actually find him to be gorgeous as well, but just reading his story did genuinely make me sad. I found his child form to be a little bit jaded already only because he was an older child already by the time he was bought by the Qius. When Yue Qingyuan was parting with him through the door he was being kind of manipulative there for extra sympathy initially, which isn’t really great. How severely the brother beat him though was hard to take. It was so extreme, like wtf? And perhaps the part where Qiu Haitang said that he’d been “freed” and the part where he was engaged seems to be true-ish, but yeah her brother is kind of really fucked up in how he still talks to him even though he is supposed to be his brother-in-law soon? Like what the hell. But like, the summaries of what he did online and even what Haitang had said also made it sound even more cold than it was. Like once he got going yeah, the onslaught was kind of cold. But he still had a moment of shock where like he didn’t really realize what he’d done right away and needed a moment to process. But after that it was like, well, it’s already done and people came to try to help the young master and he had to get out too. So the other people on the way out after that don’t sound nearly as consequential and it was really striking that not only did he not attack Haitang, but he spared all the other women in the house. Like Jesus Christ, were *ALL* the men in the house including the male servants and other slaves they had assholes to him too? Just, wow. But we don’t get a lot into what else happened there, but if the head of the household is bad and hurts him, it’s believable that other people join in just as Ming Fan joined in because Shen Jiu was complicit in allowing Binghe’s suffering. Really key though is the commentary of both the young master and his first evil master about his age. 

That is such a huge chip on his shoulder because everyone keeps bringing it the fuck up. Including Qingge in another memory later on when he’s already Peak Lord. I know they don’t like each other, but that was really mean. I realize Qingge probably doesn’t care and that was the point to throw salt in his wounds because they don’t like each other, but seeing how much it affected him by him breaking his fan with his hands after hearing that. I’ve had people do similar to me where they make an insensitive comment to try to hurt you without understanding the actual circumstances. My sister did that to me once and I reconciled with her for a bit, but decided not to talk to her anymore again because of some other bullshit with her friends being childish. But when she did similar to me, I never really forgave her for it either. My story is not nearly as dramatic, but basically I had quit a job where I was being bullied by coworkers at the start of the recession and I was looking for jobs, but no luck with anything I was qualified for even though I went on a few interviews. There actually weren’t many listings posted around that time, so I would only be able to find a couple to apply to and by the time my sister came home I’d be playing games to pass the time cuz I was bored out of my mind waiting for something to happen. So then we got in an argument for I forget the initial reason anymore, but she brought up how I “wasn’t looking” for a job and just seemed to be “being lazy” and I just got so pissed and yelled at her that she had no fucking idea what I was doing everyday and that I am looking and there isn’t anything fucking there. I also lost it and threw a stool at her. I’m not proud of it, but I totally get the mood of what it feels like for someone to use something that you are struggling with as a negative to throw in your face even though you are trying *SO* hard to do your best. I especially don’t want to hear that from someone who gave up on their desired career that they were actually good at and making a decent living at for money and also can’t tell when their friends are kissing up to them and crossing a line and won’t stand up to them for being shitty people. Teapot meet kettle, and don’t throw stones if you live in a glass fucking house. I don’t like low blows like that. 

My personal family issue aside though, I felt a lot of empathy for Shen Jiu in that moment. Seeing how he interacted with Binghe on their first meeting after that though, like I was sad for Binghe too, but I can also see where his misunderstanding happened on top of his insecurity. I also kind of wonder if Qingge’s comment also kind of encouraged this situation to happen.  I still like Qingge because he makes up for it a lot later, but yeah that was fucked up.

The gut punch later was when Qingyuan was seemingly dying and tried to apologize to Qingqiu, but all the words and the things Shen Jiu needed to hear. His years of misunderstanding and not knowing and being in pain and thinking he was abandoned. That was painful. Shen Jiu is gone. We don’t know where he is. Maybe he’s dead. No idea, but those are things he can never know. It’s already too late, and that’s crushing.

I still just really want to know more about Shen Jiu and I feel really sad that there wasn’t some kind of redemption for him or anything. Even if it’s like Shen Yuan going into the recesses of his own mind and finds Shen Jiu locked in a box somewhere so actually the both of them share the same body and he’s just watching in a tiny TV what Shen Yuan does with his body. He’d be really frustrated and would probably scream at him a lot with his screams completely unheard, but at least he’d get to see people liking him more and would be able to hear the words that Qingyuan spoke. I mentioned in an earlier post that I saw a theory about OG Qingqiu transmigrating into Shen Yuan when Shen Yuan takes over his body, and I think that’s possible because Shang Qinghua says that when he transmigrated he was born there and was since a baby? I was thinking maybe it’d be more like OG dies when OG Binghe kills him and then becomes Shen Yuan, but who knows.

I mean, also I just crave more information about him. He’s so unfortunate, and I like wish more went right for him so that he wouldn’t be so miserable. Like when you see a character where their life is just shit on, you just wish that you could do something to take away their pain.

And with that sentiment, that’s also why I found the ending to be satisfying but probably a little problematic. Like Shen Yuan is just a good guy and he has that same sentiment for Binghe just because he’s a poor kid with a shitty hand in life, but he’s also like really clearly not gay himself and not actually attracted to Binghe in that way. To be clear, the book does seem to discourage this kind of relationship in that it works in the way the narrative unfolded, but it isn’t one that would work in real life really. That’s part of the depth of it though. Like SY emotionally cares for him and he even remarks that he feels kind of more like his Dad, but the physical side of their relationship is more on Binghe’s side than his, and he acquiesces to it because he feels bad for him because this poor child has no one. And yeah, fine this works in an actual book that we’re all reading and this works within the system within the book where the MC is in a book himself with really screwed up logic rules, but I don’t recommend this method of getting with someone you like in real life. It will not end well. If someone you like is not into you, emotionally manipulating them and crying and also stalking them until they give their body to you out of desperation to console you is not the road to happiness. You also won’t have a pressure timer of life on earth ending by combining with actual hell to push them into bed with you. The fact that SY resorts to this in desperation in order to try to help Binghe to get control of the demon sword is admirable in the narrative of the story in that he’s doing it because he cares so much about this person and that’s fine, but it’s a red flag if anyone did this IRL and put their wishes aside to appease someone else. There will be a breakdown in the future as one person puts aside their needs for the other one completely. Partnerships that work are healthy and equal. That’s not what this is. In the story, the two characters have an understanding though that makes it fine, but I have second-hand anxiety for the idea that anyone would try to replicate this. This is not normally healthy.

But at the same time, the fact that the characters have an understanding to that is unique to their personal choice is also realistic in a sense that life is sometimes complicated and a similar situation could come about, but it is the choice of the people involved. With constant communication there’s a slim chance that maybe it could work out, but it’s hard. The main level of complexity I’m thinking of is that there’s different ways to care about other people or rather to just feel about other people. Like you can have like an intellectual attraction to other people in that you just like talking with them and you’re good friends with them because of that. You can be romantically attracted to someone, but also not feel sexual attraction too. Of course you can also feel physical attraction to someone, but not really care at all about them emotionally or even intellectually. SY has emotional feelings for Binghe, but it’s more on the parental side or even just human in not wanting him to suffer. If this were a points meter, his values for his emotions and just caring about him would be at max, while physical attraction and even romantic attraction are basically zero. Like he also just like cares about him in principle? Like as an all seeing reader you look at everything and are just like, wtf with this shit? How can one person suffer so much? As empthy or even sympathy you feel for them so then if the other person is more not asexual or aromantic that can trigger some feelings which is what happened between these two characters. The reason I say it isn’t necessarily bad, but some shakiness on execution too. But like say like an asexual person is romantically attracted to someone who isn’t asexual, but they still want to be with them. Like the non-ace person has some needs sometimes and even if the ace doesn’t feel it, because they care about their partner they acquiesce to their partner’s requests because they just want them to be happy. This kind of very personal choice situation I think is really similar to basically what ends up happening between SY Qingqiu and Binghe where SY isn’t really interested, but at the same time cares about Binghe’s well-being so much that he actually just wants him to be happy and reluctantly is okay with the situation. IRL though Binghe would be REALLY FRUSTRATING to be so unreasonably needy and like narcissistically abusive in wanting him all to himself an isolating him from his friends and being jealous of them. In comparison, Wangji and Wuxian are a great deal more balanced in comparison, but I also really like this book for the original idea and the complexity of SY’s ultimate choice because I feel like it’s also a bit more real that some people do make that kind of choice. It’s not healthy or guaranteed to be a success or happy experience, but it’s in the realm of possibilities for the kinds of personal choices people can make because the other person’s happiness is worth the minor discomfort.

Ah, I just have a lot of thoughts about this. Part of it stems from myself being ace also and what that means for me. But also getting to the end, I think Qingge is a fellow ace and also similar to me, just serious about his job and loyal to his crew.

I’ve read some of the extras obviously, but I haven’t delved that deeply into the extra materials.

Oh also, I laughed so hard when Mobei-jun just tossed Shang Qinghua over like a chicken. It said like a chicken and it was hilarious. XD Like imagining that panicked sound of hucking chickens in Ocarina of Time.

Oh and ho-shit the alt punishment system came up for SY Qingqiu for screwing up his points. Got to live through half the process of becoming a human stick very painfully.

I guess part of me is still kind of just wondering how Binghe grew to be SO needy. It’s to an unnecessary degree, but I guess without any real emotional or social guidance in the Endless Abyss that could happen?

Zhuzhi-Lang though is a really frustratingly annoying character, but I also like him at the same time. I’m confused by him.

The only other thing I’m like confused a bit about is like, so the 4 sects that are depicted with Cang Qiong Mountain being the top one are like the great four sects, but like...where are they? I’m just asking because of the kind of meta general landscape of what cultivation and Taoism is like some of the events that happen I would think actually would call down some interference from actual Heaven. Like in the classic lit, whenever there’s huge disturbances down in the Human World, like the Heavenly Palace and like the Jade Emperor are like, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” and go send people. I find it really hard to believe that such a disaster as the combining of two realms would be ignored by the armies of Heaven and like Nezha, Erlang Shen, and other notable actual deities up there would come down and be like, “The fuck you guys doing down here with these shenanigans?” Also, Journey to the West is like one of the most like influential books in the canon of Chinese lit and is regarded as literally one of the Four Great Classics. But none of these fools in these “great four sects” know how to stamp a floor and call up the local deity to tell you what the hell is happening in Jinlan City instead of sending your disciples to die? Sun Wukung did that at like every damn city and then also threatened to beat them if they like weren’t doing their job properly. Those minor deities are on the payroll for Heaven, so like...use them? Like I feel like they would know this too because like the ultimate goal for cultivation is to be able to become an immortal and end up on the payroll? I know Qingqiu is supposedly like mid-level or something, but like I think they should like know-ish where they’re going? Like in the future they would become one of those minor gods making records? Are they like not high enough to even talk to them? Maybe not, but I do think like Nezha, Pagoda Bearer Li, or Erlang Shen would definitely come down and be like, “Hey, what’s going on?”

Also like, Shen Jiu isn’t a great character and how he treats his disciples is bad and what he did was bad. But like, also, what is the standard to judge him really? Like Nezha was a dick when he was a child too. When he was 3 he went to a river and was swimming and liked killed all the fish and then a dragon prince came out and was like, “WTF? Why are all the fish dead?” and then Nezha instead of answering him kills him and guts him and then takes his tendon home to turn into a belt. Then like his Dad gets a complaint from the Dragon King like, “Hey, my son is dead! Your son did it. Hand him over so I can kill him or I destroy your town.” So then Nezha’s Dad goes to talk to him and is like, “What’re you doing?” And then Nezha answers him and tells him exactly what he did like it was no big fucking deal that he killed the local Dragon Prince and made him into a belt. Obviously there’s an argument and like Nezha basically rage quits his life and is like, if you’re so concerned about this bullshit I return this body to you and kills himself to cut off his ties to his parents. He was a rude little shit. Then he went into his Mom’s dream and threatened her until she built him a temple so he could get prayer requests until he could be reborn again. His Dad found out and wrecked the temple, so then he went up to go find his master who had him be reborn using lotus flowers. After that after being reborn, Nezha’s first order of business was to go back to his family and try to kill his own father for fucking up his temple and chased him down EVERYWHERE until other powers in Heaven, decided to send down Nezha’s older brothers with a pagoda to give to their Dad that would trap and burn Nezha everytime he tried to murder him. Is this better or worse than what Shen Jiu did? This is an actual god that people worship. A quite prominent and very famous one. Nezha is also one of my favorite deities and I had a huge crush on the Nataku from Fujisaki Ryu’s Houshin Engi manga who has mostly the same backstory as deity Nezha, and I just loved him in high school. He was a good guy. What are the standards here people? I don’t think anyone in any story in China can really judge someone like Shen Jiu doing an understandable level of murder as a response to trauma and severe abuse when they worship a deity that suffered nothing and tried to commit patricide and had a severe disregard for other life. In the cultivation world, potentially, this could be their future boss. I think arguably, he could be worse than Shen Jiu, but he’s a canonical real deity.

The above tirade for me is like a thing I feel like I would have said if I was in the position to be alive in Jinlan City and wanted to defend Shen Qingqiu cuz WTF.

Further, I’m a huge fan of Jigoku Shoujo and Enma Ai did much the same after her cousin saved her from being sacrificed, the villagers found out, buried her a live, made her cousin help bury her alive, and then she came back as a vengeful spirit and set the whole village on fire and killed everyone except maybe her parents who had their souls as prisoners by Enma himself? Can’t 100% remember. But like, on the scale of characters I like that have done terrible things, Shen Jiu is actually relatively low and under some people that are good guys.

[blueyemxn]

My Persephone (Pt. 2)

Addicted to a Memory

Spoiler Warning: Content below contains spoilers for the lvl 80 Shadowbringers MSQ, if you have not reached this point in the game and do not wish to be spoiled please refrain from reading. Otherwise enjoy my trash shipping at your own risk.

Relationship: Emet-SelchxWoL

Ao3 Story - Here    Part One: Here    Part Three: Here    Part Four: Here    Part Five: Here    Part Six: Here

“Persephone…?” For a moment her face spelled utter confusion, blinking slowly and eyes wide, as if in awe at the choice of the name. But then she frowned and gave him that look as if she had just been insulted. “You know what that means don’t you? ‘Bringer of Death’! I’m not letting you call me that!” She waved her arms up dramatically, much to his amusement. “Why don’t you just call me by my actual name?”

“Because, frankly, my dear, it's rather boring. And being boring is a cardinal sin, you know.” He gave a dramatic sigh and shook his head. “Persephone, on the other hand, is graceful and rolls off the tongue; better than Kore anyhow.”

“Says you,” Kore, huffed as she curled up against the soil, underneath the few towering plants that were present in the garden; her garden. “It’s my life, I deserve to be called what I want to be called and no one can say otherwise.”

“Even your guardian?”

“My mother is not a problem.” 

“So you’re fine with her calling you whatever she wants, yet it’s a problem when it comes to me? Oh Persephone, what have I done to earn such scorn?” Another sigh came from his lips before she found herself in his arms, sitting on his lap. “Tell me, so that I may pacify your anger!” He spoke with that dramatic flair, his voice almost echoing from his exaggerated tone. 

She rolled her eyes and snorted, though it was just to hide her laugh at how extra he was being.  “I’m not angry with you, you dramatine.” 

“Then speak, my Persephone,” he said, leaning in, his voice a low rumble at the back of his throat that threatened to make her shudder. “Speak thy desires and I shall make it so…” his forehead rested upon hers, lips muttering against her own, on the verge of taking them right then and there. She could feel his soul, humming against her body. It glides around her, threatening to seep into her skin, into her bones to the core of her very being.

Her mouth trembled and quivered, her own soul yearning to do the same, to touch him, to seep into his being.

Her hands went to his chest and pressed against him. Her lips parted slightly, but instead of words, a laugh rang out. Giggles couldn’t contain themselves as her cheeks grew warm, darkening her already tanned skin. Kore pushed away from him. “H-Hades, stop that!” She said in between her small laughs. 

“How can I when you haven’t told me what it is I must do.” He smirked at her as he went to the crook of her neck. “Guide me, my Persephone…” he trailed off as he lightly kissed at the nape, voice getting a bit thick from his growing arousal. He could feel her skin heating up, her heart pulsing against her chest. He attempted to close the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her small frame, letting his fingertips move against her skin. It had been so long since he last touched her. So agonizingly long. 

For a moment he heard her breath hitch, but soon her hands felt around his face and gently moved it so they were looking at one another. Her forehead touched his while her rose pink eyes stared at him with that smile of hers.

“How about you show me that thing you’ve promised to show me? Your new fruit?” She asked, batting those lashes as if it were going to get her anywhere. She was exactly right.

Hades sighed. “If I must—”

Before he could finish she squealed lightly before kissing him and rolling off into the flower bed again. He rolled his eyes, but retained an amused smile. “Come now, Persephone, I can’t show you if you’re lazing about.”

“You’re really not gonna stop calling me that are you?” She asked from the top of his shoulder. For one who was only as tall as his waist, it amazed him she could climb him with ease.

“Perish the thought! Now come here or I’ll change my mind.” He said, before waiting for her response. It was her turn to sigh, but Kore knew better than to keep Hades waiting too long or he really WOULDN’T show her. 

“Alright, alright.” She said as she climbed over his shoulder and rolled into his lap again, head cranking up, arms crossed and staring with that curious gaze. “So where is it?”

Hades gave her that all knowing smirk of his before he lifted a hand, pressed his middle finger and thumb together and made a quick snap. The air swelled with aether and above them the tree they had been under bloomed, an abundance of red flowers opening before her. Her eyes widened and sort of berated herself for not realizing she had been under a new tree she hadn’t seen before. “It’s so beautiful!”

While she gawked at the sight, Hades lifted an arm and plucked one of the red fruits from one of the branches before pulling it apart to reveal the red, juicy seeds inside; her eyes shone like stars seeing them.

“Ah, but you have yet to partake in consuming them, my dear.” 

“That’s okay??” She looked up at him, a bit worried that maybe she was overstepping her boundaries. But such a thing was absurd, anything of his was hers.

“I mean if you don’t want it—”

“No I do!” Before he had the chance to take away the fruit, Kore was grabbing at it and managed to get a few seeds before it was out of her reach. Hades chuckled, but otherwise kept quiet as he waited for her reaction.

Kore inspected the seeds, taking some in between her fingers and flexing to test how squishy they were. When she seemed satisfied, she plopped one them into her mouth and chewed slowly. She hummed with satisfaction, eating five more before hugging him tightly. Feeling her arms around him caused him to sigh deeply in relief. 

“They are to your tastes then?”

“Just the way I wanted them! Thank you so much Hades.” She said, though he could hear the slight melancholy in her voice as it quieted itself. “I’m sorry you have to do this for me. I should be able to do this on my own. I’m so…” she trailed off, trying to find the right word, but Hades refused to give her that opportunity.

“Tch, none of that now,” he clicked his tongue, lifting her head up so he could look her in the eyes. “Must we discuss the other cardinal sin of crying over nothing?”

“I’m not crying, I’m just unhappy that you have to make things for me,” she said, frowning. “It’s frustrating; not being able to create things like everyone else, to rely on others to do it for me.” Ah, this again; a plague that was always on her mind, gnawing at her thoughts, making her grow anxious. He hated seeing her so helpless and frustrated; she had so many wonderful ideas, but no way to bring them into being. 

“Am I always going to be like this? Am I doomed to be talent-less?” She looked at him with almost pleading eyes, searching for some answer, some confirmation that all wasn’t for naught. But Hades couldn’t lie to her, he didn’t have the heart.

“Talentless? If I recall your drawings have always been an item of interest to the community.” He said, dodging the question. “People get excited when they hear you’ve posted another piece of art for them to enjoy. Really, it makes me jealous just thinking about it!” But such a statement gave him a doubting look from her face. 

“You? Jealous? You are one of the Convocation of Fourteen, Emet-Selch, the Architect, among other things, what do you have to be jealous about??”

“A beautiful creature who can gather the eyes of others around her with naught else but her actions, her art.” He nuzzled her gently, causing her to blush and, finally, giggle. Ah, there it is, that beautiful voice. “You’re a hero, Persephone, a hero to those who lack creativity to create their own.”

“A hero?” She asked, shaking her head and putting it to his chest “Sounds like one of those silly concepts you’re so fond of.” 

“Indeed I am. Would you like to hear about it, hero?” His fingers threaded through her short pixie cut hair, softly massaging her scalp. Kore smiled lightly, her eyes closing.

“I’d love that.”

[sofiahahaaa]

Demigod Delinquents | Pt. 3 | Jason Being $$weak$$

| MASTERLIST |

Summary: Jason bean is too rule-following to allow himself to be such a badboy... he needs to COOL dOwN... our babies are being sent off so baiii

Rating: Bruh honestly if you can handle a bit of kissing and Jason being upset for (0) reasons ayyyy

A/N: I cannot believe I am this cool, posting in such rAPID SUCCESSION... i mean if you don’t love me then leave. (jk i need all the love i can get. stay and fall in love?) i’m ready for this story to be fully out.

~~~

Jason’s POV –

My stomach was full of warm food reminiscent of the bakery I loved in New Rome. I missed those strolls I had taken with Reyna, back then. But that was different. I don’t still have feelings or anything. It’s just… Camp Half-Blood doesn’t have that sort of place. To be alone with your loved ones. 

I tried to purge the thoughts from my head.

This happened a lot recently. I would be thinking normal thoughts, and then all of a sudden, I was comparing Camp Half-Blood to Camp Jupiter. It wasn’t fair, because I loved both places, but sometimes I found that I didn’t fit into either, and that taking some aspects of each camp would help me make a better camp. I found that I had to swallow my pride, too. I knew that nothing could be perfect, but still, I kept wondering… 

I kissed Piper on my way out of the Mess Hall, reminding her I would be away for the quest. She nodded, her braid fluttering in the wind. She looked beautiful. So beautiful I… um... I just wanted to stay with her forever.

I set for Cabin 1.

The walls were pristine as always, and the entire room was tidy, too. I sighed. This cabin really needed a refresher. Big Hippie Zeus was always a sight. His glory reflected upon the place where I slept, and let’s just say… nope. I wasn’t digging it. Not in the slightest.

Maybe I could drag Annabeth in here, have her cut down Zeus, redo the entire place, and bam! Awesome. 

That probably wouldn’t happen.

But... I still dreamed as I picked up the orange jumpsuit, changing into the bright costume. I’d seen Leo at the dining hall. He seemed to be rocking it, which most likely meant I would hate it. I slipped it on over the white t-shirt and shorts I had on and studied myself in the polished white marble. 

I didn’t like it. 

The material was itchy, and it bagged out in odd places. But that wasn’t the biggest part. It wasn’t me. I was a rule follower. Typically. All though I chafed against the rules in Camp Jupiter, I was a goody-two-shoes at Camp Half-Blood. I had been trained that way. It was now my nature. But even as I adjusted the jumper– zipped the zipper up and down, shifted, changed out, straightened it, and put it back on, it just didn’t work. 

I had to settle for the collar up, zipped, and my hair pushed back. 

Chiron had said that we would have to get into character for this quest, but character– ugh. Maybe this would not be my sort of quest.

Leo and Percy– they didn’t have this struggle. They were always unruly and wild. But for me? I couldn’t do something like this.

I took a breath. In and out. I tried to create a character. Jason the bad boy. No. Jason, the kid who doesn’t care. Hard no. Jason, the kid who has family problems and hates life. Hmm. Maybe. It had some truth to it. 

I tried making faces to match my character. Scrunch up the nose, slouch. Nope. Maybe a tough guy look. Yeah, no. Then I tried a better idea. I crossed my arms, tried the brooding look Percy always wore and stuck a piece of gum in my mouth. 

I blew bubbles, hoping to look rebellious or something. It worked a little. I did the thing Leo always does, brushing his hands together as if brushing off dust. It heightened my game. I looked like a semi-delinquent. A little flexing of the muscles, some menacing glares. Yeah. It was alright.

(It was not. It was bad.)

I had thirty minutes or so left before Argus was to drive us to the prison. I decided on climbing up to the secret loft in my cabin. I got behind stupid Hippie Zeus and climbed the rungs. 

I had always loved this view. Usually, I came up here at night, maybe with Piper, but now, during the day, I saw the entire camp in motion. The cleaning harpies were hopping through the mess hall, making campers run. I saw that the Apollo cabin was in the arena and that Ares cabin was hanging around the climbing wall. Lava poured in clumps, and campers climbed quickly, with that motivation. 

Annabeth was calling her cabin to the Armory, while Aphrodite cabin was busy grooming the pegasi. I didn’t see Piper, but that was fine. She probably had found something more interesting to do. Holly and Laurel Victor were bickering over a game of exploding-volleyball (Something the Victor twins made up. Don’t play it unless you’re okay with volleyballs exploding in your face.) and Lou Ellen was trying desperately to save a bust she had attempted of Cerberus. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the summer day.

Something that I couldn’t help loving about Camp Half-Blood was how happy everyone was. It wasn’t strained, like Camp Jupiter. Everyone was very excited to be there. This wasn’t an army. It was a community.

I tried to push the thoughts from my head, but they were there again. Compare, they said. Fix, they kept insisting, and I was almost compelled to do it. I clenched my jaw and forcefully thought of other things. Better things.

I slipped down to the main floor of the cabin. I supposed I would go to Thalia’s Tree to wait for Argus, even though I was early.

When I finally got the tree, I had narrowly escaped a nearly fatal incident involving clay and Lou Ellen and had singed off my leg-hair after passing by the Victor twins. It made me think that Holly had deliberately spiked the volleyball so I would get exploded on. 

As it turned out, I wasn’t the first one there. Percy and Annabeth were talking under the tree– possibly saying goodbye, possibly arguing. Hard to tell.

“Hey, guys…" I said as I approached them, hoping I wasn’t offending them by interrupting.

“Oh, hi, Jason,” Annabeth said. She bit her lip. Her hair was combed into a ponytail, and her eyes flashed mini-storms. It was hard to know if Annabeth was mad or not, because her steely calm was too unnerving to decipher. Percy waved and crossed his arms. He was leaning against the trunk, despite Peleus’ protest. Already getting in character, I suppose.

“Annabeth." I nodded in her direction, then turned to Percy. “What’s up, man? You haven’t talked to me in ages." I noticed Percy had bags under his eyes. " I heard about a little sister… Stella?”

“Estelle,” Annabeth replied simply. “Yeah, I have babysitting duty while you guys are gone.” She picked at her nails. “Percy’s just tired. He’s been doing late-night babysitting with me for the last few weeks of summer while Sally and Paul are out on their vacation in, uh, Florida. He was also training my cousin for the weeks before that– he has to stop the end of the world. But that’s about it." I tried to keep my mouth from gaping. Annabeth had a cousin? And… what?

“Oh. Oh, right.” Now I felt a pang of guilt. If Percy was out on baby-duty because of this quest– “Hey, bro, if you don’t wanna go– that– that’s alright, okay? ‘Cause it sounds like you’ve got a lot going on, and I don’t think this quest should, uh, get in the way of that or anything–" I gushed. Percy sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“You know, Annabeth is right. I am tired. But I think this quest will help to some degree. So I’ll go with it, but just because Annabeth has agreed to it. If there’s any change, shift in mood– I’ll opt-out. For now, we’re good. Right, Wise Girl?” Annabeth blinked.

“Yeah. I’m fine with this. It’s okay." I thought that maybe Annabeth was trying to convince herself more than Percy, but I stayed silent. I stared at the looming statue of Athena– the Athena Parthenos that looked down on the camp. I took a deep breath.

“So we’re waiting for sleepyhead Leo now… doubt he’ll wake up any time soon. Nyssa told me he was asleep until noon, and that he was down for a nap after lunch too…I don't understand how much he can sleep. What’s draining him? His ADHD?” Percy commented, sounding gruff. He flipped a golden drachma over his knuckles. "I’ll give him this drachma if he shows up within ten seconds." I looked at Percy warily. The guy was scary, I had to admit.

And now, in this state, he looked like the living dead. His humor and stupidity were replaced by the brooding look he resented. I wondered how he’d react if I told him.

Leo staggered to the top of the hill and collapsed in a heap. “So… tired… Why is that hill so… steep? Can’t even… right… now.” He raised his hand. “Give me the drachma, Perseus.” Percy looked at him as if he couldn’t believe the guy had actually gotten out of bed. He flicked the drachma into Leo’s hand. “Thanks, man.” Leo sat up, spitting out dirt.

“You… got out of bed.” Percy said musingly.

“Nyssa had Harley jumped on me. My ribs hurt still, but I’m good now.”

“Oh. That explains it.”

“You took a nap in this jumpsuit? It’s uncomfortable as Hades’ Gym Shorts." I added. Leo giggled at this comment like a little kid.

“Dude. You’re so, like, uptight. Loosen up.” Leo joked. Percy had a pained look in his eyes, but when he saw me watching, he masked it. Annabeth stood in the middle.

"I’d leave you boys to it, but that’s a bad idea,” Annabeth emphasized. Percy hollered. She glared at him. "I’ll stay here until Argus get here. I don't want another bathroom incident." I stared at Annabeth in mock shock.

“She said it!” Leo shrieked. Annabeth rolled her eyes.

Back on the Argo II, when Percy had been given a tour of the whole ship, we had stopped at the bathroom for a while, making Annabeth wonder. We stopped partly because Leo was in dire need of a bathroom, and because Percy was in love. 

Back when Leo was designing the ship, of all the things that he would have made perfect, he chose the bathrooms. I had shared the same enthusiasm Percy had when he saw them. They were equipped with everything. From toilets (duh!) to bidets and even bubble baths.

Percy had insisted we try out the bubble bath, seen as there were over 20 different types of bubbles. He practically begged that we put every single one into the jacuzzi tub. He had excitedly jumped in (Clothes and all, minus the shirt) and started playing with all the fancy settings Leo had installed into the tub. Long story short, he got so excited, he lost control of his powers and exploded all the plumbing. Annabeth had rushed in, gotten soaked– it was a mess. And it took weeks for Leo and Percy to collectively restore the plumbing. And– not to mention– Leo’s room was soaked for a while afterward as well, it being next to the bathrooms and all. Not that that mattered, since Leo scarcely slept in his room– but that isn’t relevant.

“Nothing like that can happen in that short of time, Wise Girl.”

“Um, that mess did.” Annabeth retorted. Percy stared in shock. He couldn’t get out a comeback.

“Annabeth: One… billion. Percy: Zero.” Leo chimed half-heartedly.

Argus showed up, three handcuffs in hand. Annabeth checked her watch. “Right on time, as always.” Argus nodded, and a few of his eyes swiveled to each of us. He has a hundred, so it’s uncomfortable to get stared at by him. He was a man of few words, (partly because he is rumored to have an eye on his tongue– and that makes it a bit awkward to speak.) and thus said nothing, but gestured towards the handcuffs. I gulped.

“Ah,” My tongue darted to the back of my throat. “Those are for us?" I managed to croak. He nodded. I had spent years scared of being in one of these. And here I was… doing it voluntarily. My eyes dropped as I became queasy.

Leo, in turn, jumped up, brushed off the dirt on his jumpsuit, and held out his hands for Argus to chain. “Dude, it’s been years since I’ve gotten the cuffs around my wrists.”

“Wait, you’ve been arrested before?”

"I guess… I ran away from my abusive foster mother and the handcuffed me to make sure I would pull anything. I had hijacked a car door and rolled out only weeks ago.” Leo grinned mischievously. “Actually, I had the cuffs loose by the time they got me back to the nasty woman… but I stayed put." I stared at Leo in amazement.

“Bye Annabeth. I promise I won't do anything stupid.” Percy told Annabeth quietly. He sounded a little wistful, and I wanted to assure him that we wouldn’t be against him staying at camp.

“Alright, Seaweed Brain. Stay safe.” Annabeth planted a real, nice kiss on Percy’s lips, and he kissed her back, happily. I kind of wished Pipes was here, but I didn't express it. I watched, partially in jealousy, as Percy picks Annabeth up by the waist, lifting her off the ground, still kissing. Annabeth pulled away to look Percy in the eye. “Percy…” He grinned and pulled her head closer to his, kissing her again. Then, he spun her around, lips still locked, and set her on the ground. “Percy…” She said again in between kisses.

"I love you, Annabeth.”

"I love you too.” Annabeth rested her head on Percy’s chest, and Percy stroked her hair. “Don’t get yourself killed.”

“No problem.”

“Or I’ll have to kill you.”

“Love you too,” Percy replied with gusto. Annabeth pulled him into a hug, and Percy gave in.

“Alright, I mean it. Go have fun.” Annabeth insisted as she put her hands on his shoulders. Percy nodded but snuck in one more kiss, which held for longer than I expected. When he finally pulled away, I had to look elsewhere. A little awkward, knowing I was staring, but I had to admit, Percy and Annabeth were always cuter than Piper and I, and I could never be as romantic as Percy. Leo let out a gasp.

“ohlordtheyaresocuteitslikethetitanicbuttheywontsinktheylljustbeeternalandOHMYGODSitssooooocuteandhowdotheyhavesuchalastingrelationshipaphroditesendhelp–” Leo hyperventilated, unable to wring his hands enough, seen as they were locked up. I felt similar, though I wasn't bold enough to state it like Leo. Percy held Annabeth’s waist firmly, and her hand was at his shoulder. This would be practically the first time they had been apart since… Tartarus. Quite abrupt. 

Argus cleared his throat and held out the cuffs for me. I sighed and held out my hands, trying to get into character. Trying to channel my anger towards the messed-up family that had landed me in so many fatal situations– trying to channel my anger towards my divine stepmother, the heifer she is, who wiped my memory. I scrunched my brow and tried the brooding look again as Argus snapped the cuffs around my wrists. “You ready?" I asked Percy. He huffed.

“Yeah.”

“No second thoughts?” Leo added.

“Well, some. But I’m ready.” Percy sighed. Annabeth nodded, and let go of Percy, running down Half-Blood Hill. Percy looked after her, like a lost puppy, but he turned to Argus. “Okay.” And Argus clasped the cuffs around his wrists. I studied mine and felt the weight of the cold cuffs against my wrists. I looked at Argus in the eye– or rather, in one eye. He nodded. I guess this was it. Time for the quest.

A/N: Sad moment, seeing as that’s the last Percabeth moment for a while, but we’ll see Annabeth again, I promise. I apologize about the ‘I’s– I was trying to fix something but now you’ll see that there are ‘I’s without spaces… that was definitely not intentional and I am completely aware. I am trying to get rid of that certain problem. And, unfortunately, this story is heavily Percy and Jason, rather than Leo. Which is horrible because we love Leo, but I’ll try to make it up to you guys and add more Leo, cuz all da ladies luv Leo, amiright? And, as a heads-up JERCY BROMANCE IS FULL FLAME IN THIS FIC. Thanks for reading :)

[sweetmemories2606]

Unforgivable: Gruvia and Jerza Fanfic (chapter 4)

Summary: A missing child. A prophecy. Two siblings, born from light and darkness. Nothing will be the same after Juvia reveals the truth about her past, damaging her relationship with Gray. Meanwhile, Lucy struggles with a family secret and one night causes unexpected consequences for Jellal and Erza. How will they survive Zeref's ultimate plan? 

Pairing: Gruvia, Jerza, NaLu, Lyredy, GaLe, AlBis

Link (chapters 1-3): https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12889561/1/Unforgivable

Warning: You should really check out the other chapters before reading this post, or else there will be confusion. 

Happy reading!

                                                      Why We Met

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something."

-Lucy Heartfilia

In a hidden mansion, miles away from everything…

"I don't like this." Kyoka, goddess of the slave planet, said.

"She's talking too much." Torafusa, one of the nine demon gates, added while they watched through a magic mirror as Juvia Lockser explained her backstory.

"It won't be long till she starts talking about us." Tempester spoke, staring at the screen with narrowed eyes.

"I wouldn't be so worried. Remember that my macro curse won't allow her to do so." Seilah reminded them, smirking.

"That's true. Although I think that Jellal's getting suspicious with the information we've had her give him." Kyoka voiced her concerns, staring at Jellal's figure cautiously.

"I wonder how he found out about our plans to eliminate Erza Scarlet." The former said.

"Doesn't matter. Just because Juliet Fernandes didn't actually kill her, doesn't mean it's over." Keyes told them and the demons smiled.

"Of course not. We'll still have plenty of opportunities for that." Kyoka said.

"Besides, now that we know Juliet is capable of murder, we should use that to our advantage." Seilah reminded them while making a book appear; the name Juliet could be read on the cover.

"What do you have in mind, Seilah?" A new voice asked as a woman entered the room. Her appearance was hidden behind a hood, but a few locks of blue hair could be spotted.

"Alison. I was beginning to wonder where you were, dear." Keyes told her with a sinister smile on his skeleton face.

"I was taking care of business. Don't you remember?" The woman raised a brow in his direction.

"Of course. Now we have a new job for you." Kyoka said and she turned to the demon, an interested look in her eyes.

"Do tell." Alison closed the door behind her before walking towards the center of the room, where the Nine Demon Gates were reunited.

"Retrieve Erza Scarlet." A surprised look crossed her face and she froze. A few moments passed before she recomposed herself. "Shouldn't be a problem. Where is she?"

"I'm okay." Gray said, glancing towards Juvia and Jellal with a smile. "I'm happy for her."

"Good for you, man." Natsu patted him on the back.

"I have a feeling that's not all there is to the story." Levy voiced her concerns.

"Same. There are many things left unexplained." Gajeel added, frowning.

"Let's give them time before we ask more." Wendy wisely suggested.

"Yeah, with everything that happened tonight, I think they'll need it." Lucy glanced towards Erza's lifeless body and frowned. "Do you think they're telling the truth about Erza?"

"Why would they lie? You know how much Jellal loves her." Levy replied.

"If Juvia had actually killed her, I don't think he'd act this way; sister or not." Gray added.

"But can we be sure that she's still alive?" Gajeel wondered; something didn't feel right about this whole story.

"I won't be sure until I see it with my very eyes." Natsu was quick to say before crossing his arms and glaring at Ultear and Meredy, who stood in the distance, watching the siblings reunite.

"We still have questions." Gajeel loudly told them before taking a few steps forward. The two looked surprised for a moment, but nodded.

"We'll answer them as best as we can." The older woman said, but soon enough Juvia spoke having broken apart from the hug. "Thank you, Ultear, but I can handle it. This is my story, after all."

"Good. Because there are some things that still don't make sense." Natsu told her and she raised a brow.

"Such as?" Levy was the one who started questioning.

"Well, Jellal mentioned that you disappeared when he was seven. Where did you go?" Juvia sighed; knowing this question would come. She exchanged a glance with Ultear, who gave her an unsure look. "If I'm going to tell the truth, I'll have to tell them everything."

"Are you sure?" Meredy's eyes were wide; she didn't think this was a good idea.

"So this is what you were talking about before." Natsu muttered, remembering the words spoken by them a few minutes before

"I know, but that doesn't change what I did. What I had her do."

"She didn't go through with it. And, honestly, I don't think Gray needs to know."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." The ice mage was quick to tell his girlfriend.

"I know you won't think like that once I'm done, but you deserve to know." Juvia took a deep breath before looking right at him, blue eyes filled with sadness. "When I was five and Jellal was seven, I was kidnapped. I remember that night clearly; it was my 5th birthday and I had fun playing games with him and our father. I was so happy, until he came. The man who took me away from my family and ruined my life."

"Who was it?" Lucy couldn't hold her curiosity any longer.

"His name was Hades; and he used to be the master of Fairy Tail." Their eyes widened once they remembered the man that they had met on Tenrou Island.

"Hades?" Natsu whispered, disbelieving.

"Wait a minute! If he was the one who took you, does that mean that…." Levy started and Gray finished her thought.

"You were with Grimoire Heart, weren't you?" Juvia nodded slowly, a guilty look coming upon her face.

"Yes. I was brought to the place where Ultear was also being kept." This had everyone glancing towards Ultear. "Back then she was Hades' only recruit and we quickly bonded over loneliness and bad parents; since he told me my father didn't want me anymore and had sent me away." Juvia paused and sighed."Of course, it didn't take me long to figure out he was lying, but by then I was in too deep and constantly supervised. So I had no choice but to follow his orders if I wanted to stay alive."

"That makes sense." Lucy said and the others agreed.

"But still, it doesn't forgive everything you must've done as a member of Grimoire Heart." Gajeel spoke next.

"I disagree. If I managed to forgive Ultear for everything she did, it won't be hard to forgive you." Gray sincerely said.

"Besides, compared to the rest of us, Juvia didn't do anything that wrong. She didn't kill anyone in cold blood like me; I always managed to protect her from that." Ultear added and Juvia tensed.

"It's not entirely true. I did some awful things." Her hands held tightly onto the heart-shaped necklace that she constantly wore.

"You didn't have a choice. Master Hades would've killed you otherwise." Meredy reassured.

"It was a matter of survival; we understand. I can forgive that." Gray said and Juvia couldn't help but to smile.

"Thank you, my love. I can't believe how supportive you're being. It's so…unexpected." He laughed at this.

"Trust me, I'm freaking out here. But nothing I've heard so far has convinced me to hate you or resent you. All I can see is how much you suffered and I hate that you didn't tell me before." Tears were brimming in the corner of her eyes.

"I was so scared. I didn't want to lose you." He shook his head before fixing her with a reassuring look.

"You won't. I promised to always be there for you, didn't I?" She nodded, unable to formulate words.

"You two are so sweet!" Meredy happily told them.

"Yes, I just wish I had seen it sooner." Ultear sighed.

"But you did. You saw how I was falling in love with him and you decided to step back. I'm always grateful for that." Juvia told her and Gray's eyes widened.

"So you told Ultear about me? Is that how she found out?" The older woman shook her head.

"No, it was the other way around. I knew exactly who you were ever since Hades told me about my mother's death by your hand. He wanted to fuel my hate for you and need for revenge. It worked just perfectly." She looked down in shame. "I just wish I hadn't dragged Juvia into it."

"It's okay; I've forgiven you for that." The water mage quickly reassured her before smiling. "Besides, if you hadn't pushed me towards Gray, I would've never found the happiness he brought into my life."

"So that first date, it was your doing?" Lucy asked, recalling Juvia and Gray's first encounter a few weeks before the battle between Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail.

"Yes. I sent Juvia there to kill Gray, but she couldn't bring herself to do it." Ultear replied and the memory brought matching smiles to Gray and Juvia's faces.

About 1 year earlier...

"Why do you care enough to comfort me when you don't even know me?" Gray was surprised, for many reasons.

"To be honest, I'm not always like this." He hoped she'd understand what he meant."But Mirajane has been pushing me to be nicer, so I'm trying."

"You're doing a good job." She allowed a sincere smile to take over her face and he gave his own in return.

"I'm glad." They were silent for a few moments, until the faraway ticking of a clock let them know it was already midnight.

"We should go." Juvia didn't know why she suggested it. This was the perfect moment to finish what she had come here to do. They were alone there; no one would be witness to her sins.

"Okay." He nodded slowly, although she could tell he didn't want to.

"But before we do..." Unexpectedly to both, she closed the distance between them as her arms wrapped around his torso while her head rested on his chest. "Thank you." There were so many meanings to those words that he didn't know.

Gray's expression softened as he returned the hug. "You're welcome."

She pulled apart a moment later and lifted her head to stare at him. He was looking at her in a way only one person had before; a mixture of compassion, happiness and understanding. It made her feel cared for and she couldn't deny that she liked the feeling.

"Juliet..." His hand was suddenly reaching up to touch her face and she froze. There was desire in his eyes now and determination. She was torn between being scared and anxious.

"Yes?" The next thing she knew, he had leaned in and then his lips were touching hers in a passionate kiss.

"You were the first person aside from Ultear and Meredy who ever showed me compassion, understanding. You were the first to ever care and I believe that's why I started to fall in love with you after just one date." Juvia turned to her boyfriend, smiling brightly. "And of course, when you chased the rain away during our battle; I knew it."

"Believe it or not, Gray, but you were the reason why Juvia chose to leave Grimoire Heart. You were the one who brought her into the light and I'm so thankful for that." Ultear spoke next and the ice mage approached the water mage, smiling.

"I'm glad I could point you in the right direction." His arms wrapped around her waist and she wasted no time wrapping her own around his neck.

"I love you so much. Thank you." Instead of replying, he leant it as she did the same.

While the couple shared an intense kiss, Natsu turned to Ultear in confusion. "Wait, so Juvia actually left the guild?"

"If she hadn't, I don't think they would've given her the same treatment back on Tenrou Island." Lucy remarked, remembering Erza and Juvia's tale about their fight against Meredy.

"That's not true! I would've never hurt her, even after she left. But I didn't know who she was." The pinkette said, staring at them guiltily.

"What does that mean?" Now they were really confused.

"You see, after realizing that she was in love with Gray and finding out that Jellal was still alive during the Tower of Heaven incident, Juvia realized that Hades had lied to her for all these years, so she decided to quit." Ultear answered.

"But, as I'm sure you know, no one just quits a dark guild. Getting out alive is nearly impossible." Meredy continued and they nodded, understanding.

"So how did Juvia manage to do it?" Gajeel asked, curious.

"We helped her." The older woman replied. "I always saw her as a little sister, someone I wanted to protect. So after she told me about Jellal, who I'd never known was actually her brother, and of her love for Gray Fullbuster; I decided to put my desire for revenge aside and help her."

13 years earlier…

"Okay, where are you taking me?" Ultear asked while Meredy and Juvia guided her. She was blindfolded and the two girls held her arms and helped her move towards their destination, which was a surprise.

"You'll see soon enough." The 12 years old replied while sharing an excited look with the child.

"I can't wait to see your face, mamma. You'll love it!" The pinkette added; she was almost jumping with joy.

"Okay, we're here." Juvia finally removed the blindfold and Ultear's eyes widened once she spotted the picnic basket on top of the beautiful flowery towel that once belonged to her mother, Ur Milkovitch. There were three glasses, a bottle of juice, many cupcakes and a big strawberry cake besides the basket.

"Happy birthday!" Meredy screamed happily.

"We were supposed to say it together." The bluenette complained, frowning.

"You've done all this for me?" Ultear couldn't deny her surprise. Even though the three of them were very close, she wouldn't have expected them to even remember her birthday. She never celebrated them anyways.

"Of course. Juvia told me that you never had a birthday party, so we wanted to give you one." The 7 years old replied.

"Don't you like it?" Juvia asked, still frowning.

"No, sweetheart, I do. I'm just surprised, that's all." The 18 years old was quick to kneel down by her side, placing both hands on her shoulders.

"We wanted it to be a surprise." The bluenette replied and Ultear wasted no time hugging her tightly.

"Thank you." For a few moments they stayed like that, until they heard a small voice.

"I want a hug too, mamma!" They pulled apart and extended their arms, smiling at Meredy.

"Come here." Juvia called and the pinkette ran towards them, laughing.

Soon enough the three of them were holding onto each other, content. For the first time in years, Ultear's mind wasn't on her mother or her vendetta against Gray Fullbuster; she felt happy. The three of them did; it was good to know that they still had someone who cared after losing everything.

"So you weren't all bad." Levy told Ultear and Meredy eagerly nodded.

"Of course not! Ultear might've been a villain back then, but she was always good to me and Juvia. She always took care of us and we were grateful for that." The others smiled; it was nice seeing this softer side of the former villains.

"But how exactly did you help Juvia?" Lucy asked.

"I knew a powerful spell that could make someone unrecognizable. That way, Juvia could move around freely and Hades wouldn't be able to find her." Their eyes widened. Now that was a clever plan!

"The only problem was, the spell was so powerful that even we weren't able to recognize her; which is why I fought against her back on Tenrou Island." The pinkette added.

"I see now. That was clever." Levy praised and they smiled in return.

"It was. I never thanked you for protecting her then, Ultear." Jellal spoke, reminding them of his presence since he had been quietly watching the conversation so far.

His mind had been focused on Erza as the feeling that she might be in danger overwhelmed him. But then again, this whole night had been no short of dangerous for her.

"No problem. I was happy to help; Juvia was always so loyal and kind. She didn't deserve to be trapped with Grimoire Heart." This had the bluenette smiling once she pulled apart from the kiss to catch her breath.

"So let me get this straight. Juvia and Jellal are siblings, but when they were young she was captured by Hades and trained to be in Grimoire Heart." Levy decided to get all the details they had learnt that night.

"Yes." Juvia said, turning around to face the rest of the group while Gray kept his arms wrapped around her from behind.

"And you were sent to kill Gray during that first date, but didn't go through with it. Then during the Phantom Lord battle you fought against him, but he didn't recognize you until after the fight and that's when you knew you loved him." Lucy continued and the water mage nodded.

"Why were you in Phantom Lord anyways?" Gajeel brought up a good point.

"I was sent there to infiltrate the guild since master Hades wanted to know if they could someday join the Balam Alliance." Juvia replied.

"What about Fairy Tail?" This was the question in everyone's mind ever since Juvia and revealed that she used to be a member of Grimoire Heart.

"I wanted to join the guild because of Gray. It wasn't Hades' plan." Relieved looks came upon everyone's faces.

"One more thing, since you were a member of Grimoire Heart, can we assume that you also use some form of lost magic?" Levy brought up another crucial point.

"That's right. I forgot to ask." Natsu said before turning to Juvia expectantly.

"Well…" She was about to answer when she felt it. The familiar dark presence that constantly haunted her dreams. They all felt it and Jellal's face paled while Ultear and Meredy suddenly looked nervous. "They're here."

A few weeks before...

"You look beautiful, Erza." Jellal said and she smiled at him, a small blush coloring her cheeks. "Thank you."

They were outside of Lamia Scale's guildhall and it was 2 weeks before the Grand Magic Games began. A party had been organized so that all the contestants could get to know each other before the big day; which meant that most of the magical guilds in Fiore were there.

Crime Sorciére, per Meredy's request, had decided to join the party; taking advantage of the fact that it was a masked ball so that no one should recognize them. Just for precaution, though, they had also used magic to make themselves unrecognizable.

"So, shall we dance?" Erza extended her hand at him. She wore a beautiful dark red gown matched with a pair of red high heels she wouldn't be caught dead in if Lucy hadn't convinced her to wear them. Her mask had been taken off a while ago.

"We shouldn't." Jellal was quick to say while frowning.

Erza sighed, remembering their conversation a few months before when they had been reunited after seven long years. He had explicitly told her that the only reason he had chosen to live was so that he could make up for his mistakes; and that involved hurting her.

When she had told him that she forgave him for everything, he'd accepted it but reinforced that he had yet to forgive himself. After a fight that led to a desperate kiss; they agreed to stop hiding their feelings and confessed their love for each other.

However, per Jellal's request, they agreed to wait until he felt like he deserved to be with her.

But that was over two months ago and Erza was tired. "Come on; it won't do any harm. You can punish yourself later." She didn't await for an answer and grabbed his hand before leading him along the huge gardens, taking advantage of the fact it was deserted.

Once they reached a spot far enough from the party that no one should walk in, she stopped before turning to face him. His eyes showed guilt and regret; as usual. He wore a blue tuxedo, probably chosen by Meredy since the pinkette had good taste.

"You make it really hard to stay away from you." Jellal admitted while his arms instinctively wrapped around her waist.

"It certainly doesn't seem like it. I've missed you." Erza replied while wrapping her own around his neck as they began swinging to the faded slow song.

"I've missed you too." He tensed when her hand touched his cheek, but relaxed once she just used it to remove his mask.

They danced for a good while, until he felt like it was time to go. Being alone with her only served to increase his desire to be with her and he couldn't allow that.

So he tried to step away, but she didn't let him. Instead, her arms tightened around his neck and she brought his face closer so that she could kiss him.

As surprised as he was and despite the constant reminder of why he shouldn't, Jellal couldn't help but to reply.

When they were forced to pull apart because of the need for air, his mind finally started working again and he cursed himself for being weak. "We shouldn't have done that."

She rolled her eyes before grabbing his face with both hands. "Stop being so stubborn. I haven't seen you in weeks, so we deserve to at least have tonight." Her stare was firm and determined; he'd be lying if he said it wasn't tempting.

"Erza, I…." She put a finger on his lips while shaking her head.

"Don't talk. Just let go." He stared at her with uncertainty. "Tonight." Would one night make such a difference? He had been punishing himself for seven years, so maybe he deserved it.

For once in a long time, Jellal didn't waste time thinking about it and just let go. He allowed himself to be happy, to kiss her again and, when her hands started unbuttoning his tuxedo, he didn't push them away.

Instead he allowed his own to trace the back of her dress and unzip it. He didn't even know why he did it, but once she stepped away and allowed it to fall to the ground, he realized that he didn't care.

Erza awoke, almost jumping from her chair. Her face was warm and red as she thought of the events of that night.

It had been passionate, desperate and amazing. An experience she never wanted to forget and now, she never could.

A hand once again rested upon her stomach and she smiled. That night had produced the most precious life for them and no matter how difficult the situation was or how unready they were to become parents; Erza knew that both of them would stop at nothing to protect their child.

"You couldn't have chosen a worse time, though." She whispered, thinking of all the events happening that night. Looking towards the clock on the counter, she noticed it was 12:45. "Okay, now I think it's safe enough to join them."

Standing up, Erza started walking towards the door, only for it to be swung open.