#going through my hoe phase right now dont worry bout it

[scholastic-dragon]

Oooooo

Part 2 of my poll is here!

This post does have spoilers for Guardians of the galaxy vol 3 and what happens to Peter so keep that in mind while reading!

Rocket x fem!reader x Quill

Yard Work

Warnings: SMUT, a little plot this time, causal hooking up, threesome with a raccoon, spelling mistakes, dirty talk, praise, Quill and rocket banter, pussy slapping (like once), little bit of aftercare, cum eating,

The situation was already a mess before Peter's friend, Rocket got involved.

Your neighbor Mr. Quill's grandson had finally come home, he was a handsome man which you met at his welcoming home party.

You weren't sure if it was the beer you had shared, or the flirty banter, or maybe because it felt so wrong, but you'd ended up bent over the bathroom sink that night.

You two weren't dating, nothing close to it. You both had a silent understanding that this was simply, mind numbing, fantastic sex.

Things got awkward when he was hired to mow your mother's lawn (yes you lived at home, you'd just graduated and hadn't saved up enough money to buy your own place yet). And what made the situation worse is that your older brother would simply sit outside and watch him do it.

"Lazy ass," You mumbled, watching him from the window, seeing him relax with a beer while Peter did all the work.

And work he did. In the hot morning sun, wearing tight jeans that hugged his thick ass and thighs, thin gray t-shirt drenched in sweat. Halfway through the yard, he pulled his shirt off, but in the hot way where he reached above his head, pulling at the back of his collar.

He had a gorgeous chest, large and firm muscles with a bit of chair between his pecks and a happy trail that you desperately wanted a taste of.

As Peter put the lawn mower back in the garage, you met him there and let him take you against the hood of your brothers car.

Two weeks later, Peter was back to get the backyard this time. You had a tray with three glasses of lemonade and as you opened the back door, you caught the tail end of an argument.

Your brother rolled his eyes, stomping past you inside. Peter - shirtless - standing next to the mower with his hands on his hips.

"Peter, what happened?"

He sighs, opening his mouth, but a third voice answers.

"Your brother has shit manners," To your shock, a raccoon was leaning against the side of the mower.

"Y/n, this is one of my buddies, Rocket. Rocket this Y/n," He gestures between us.

"So this is the pretty Betty you've been fucking on the side?" Rocket's eyes scan your body, little crop top and booty shorts.

"Rocket!" Peter groaned, making a face that clearly said he wasn't supposed to say that.

You laugh, coming down the steps and holding out the lemonade. "I brought drinks, would either of you like one?"

The next half hour moved faster than you'd ever imagine. Now in your room on all fours on your bed, sucking off Peter while Rocket railed you from behind.

"Damn, Quill," He groaned, nails digging into your hips, his smacking against yours with an inhuman speed. "Thought you were lying about how good Earth pussy was,"

You moaned around Peter's cock, you loved how he talked like you weren't there. You sucked harder, flicking your tongue against his head. Watching him stifle a moan, threading his hands into your hair.

"Wait till you feel how she clenches around you when you cum,"

You moan, eyes rolling back as you remember the several times Peter hadn't pulled out, letting his cum drip down your legs as you rushed to the bathroom to clean it up. Thank god for birth control.

"Oh, I'm not even gonna think about that until, this pretty girl cums on my cock," He leans over your back, pressing his wet nose to your ear. "Is that what you want? To cum on my cock? A complete stranger you just met today pounding and breeding this pretty pussy?"

Your body was sweaty and flushed a bright red, your eyes watering with the large cock in your throat.

Rocket's hand scratched your soft skin as it traveled from your hips down around to your clit, pinching the bean between his fingers.

You squealed around Peter's cock, making him gasp and moan, his thighs tensing and chest flushing. Rocket massaged you clit in rough hard squeezes, making your body buck against his, you felt the band tightning in your core, pulling and pulling.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," Quill whines, panting loudly.

"Figured you'd last longer than that, Quill," Rocket grunted loudly, snapping his hips harder into you. "But if her pussy feels good I can only imagine her mouth,"

He nips your ear, pulling hard enough to hurt. "Cum," He growls, pulling his hand back and smacking your pussy with his open palm, directly hitting your clit.

You scream, honest to god scream as your orgasm rips through you, your eyes rolling back, jaw dropping open. Peter moans loudly, pulling out of you mouth, stroking himself in quick short thrusts and cumming all over your mouth and cheeks.

"Fuck," He pants, taking a step back to sit down on the edge of the bed.

Rocket nails dig into your hips again, your knees starting to hurt from being this way for so long.

"Rocket," You moan.

"I know, Princes, I know, I'm gonna cum, don't worry, you'll get my cum," He moans, his hips smacking against yours. One of his hands moves to your upper back, pressing your face down into your comforter.

"Shit," Rocket gritted as you squeeze his cock when he plunged into your sopping depths. "I'm gonna cum," With three final pumps, he groans loud and long, filling your pussy, some of it spilling out and dripping onto your thighs and blanket.

Rocket pulls out, panting heavily. Peter got up, walking to your bathroom, coming back with a wet washcloth. He gently wipes his cum from your face, pressing a kiss to your lips.

"You alright?" You nod, dazed, giving him a firm kiss.

"Here," Peter folds the washcloth to the clean side and offers it to Rocket.

"What's that for?" He pants, sweat making his fur stick up in all different directions.

"For your cum,"

Rocket scoffs and you feel him move. You move your knees to take the cloth from Peter and do it yourself when Rockets tounge is suddenly licking at your thighs,

"Rocket-what're you-"

He drags it up the sensitive skin, making you moan and your legs shake. Then he's at your pussy, licking and sucking his cum out of you like he's in the desert and you're the first drink he's had in months.

He's relentless, making you sweaty and overstimulated, body shaking and trembling as you cum again on his tongue, screaming into your blankets.

"That good enough for ya?" Rocket sasses at Quill, using the back of his arm to wipe away your mess.

Peter rolls his eyes, sitting down on the bed next to you. You finally had the strength to roll over onto your stomach, looking up at the ceiling with a wide grin.

"Is there anything you need?" He brushes a hand over your hair, pushing it behind your ear.

Rocket leans over, both men, panting, looking sexed out and very handsome.

"Yes," You laugh. "For this to happen again,"

@aliasrocket @caesarhamato22 @m1dnyt3-w0lf

[legisaskerator]

vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m  upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job. 

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man. 

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do. 

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth. 

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one. 

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting. 

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

ROXY: hizzy!! hope you dont mizzay i pullizzle you off ta tha side lizzay dis ROXIZZLE ta help you tap dat ass: away from otha funky ass pals fo` a shawty one + one rox & cal tiznime ROXY keep'n it real yo: i miznight b greedy as shit!

CALLIOPE: i don't mizzy at all! CALLIOPE: i'm still gett'n Uze' ta tha concept of 'n-person socializzle at all, lizzle alone wit many thugz bitch ass nigga. CALLIOPE: n yiznes, yizzy MIZZAY be greedy, bUt if so, then so be i by tha exizzle sizname standard. ^u^

ROXY: fffizzuck yizzay ROXY cuz its a doggy dog world: lizzle a couple of friendship burglars pickin each otha pizzles all shiftizzle eyed n lookin out fo` cizzay ROXY: Chill as I take you on a trip. bizzle also mobbin' i gizzy coz that be 'n tha spirizzle of tha scenarizzle 'n question

CALLIOPE droppin hits: hehizzle. yes.

ROXIZZLE: i cizzay bizzle youre really here ROXY: it hardly sizneems rizzeal! ROXY: afta all theze years and how u were just liznike a mystery nigga online n T-H-to-tha-izzen how worry i was we might loze yiznou fo` good ROXY: bizzay nizzy...... ROXY: wow

CALLIOPE: i knizzow bitch ass nigga!!!

ROXY: so u and jizzay n jizzade were hangizzle out, ya feel me?

CALLIOPE: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. yes! CALLIOPE: it was bootylicious. CALLIOPE: we drew n told stories hittin that booty. CALLIOPE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: i'd heard yizzle dy, so i was hold'n oUt some hope that yizzy wizzy shizzow Up too... CALLIOPE in tha hood: n yoU did evizzle. J-to-tha-izzUst nizzay tha version of yizzay i expectizzle. CALLIOPE: i neva dizzle ta think yizzay wizzay br'n me dis gift.

ROXY: well ROXY: i swizzle i would RIZZLE: n J-to-tha-izzohn K-to-tha-izzinda dizzay swore he would hiznelp ROXY: damn tha kiznid be persistent

CALLIOPE fo my bling bling: i lizzay him. CALLIOPE: he be easy ta rap ta.

ROXY: yeah!

CIZZLE: i've read 'bout him, of courze. CALLIOPE: tha reality of someone stand'n 'n frizzay of yizzle be qUite different fizzy W-H-to-tha-izzat yoU read 'bout them in a text and yo momma. CIZZLE: bizzUt tizzy, i have no idea how accUrate anyth'n i read is anymizzle. CALLIOPE: i always belizzle i was in possession of tha tizzy whizzle decodizzle yo' fUtUre, n i behizzle toward all of yoU 'n that sly n ridin' mizzle, avoid'n "spoila" n sUch. CIZZLE: that was probably presUmptUoUs of me thoUgh, 'n hindsight. i clearly dizzy knizzle that mUch. CALLIOPE: i certainlizzle dizzay rizzy anyth'n 'bout mah own involvement. i neva coUld hizzle imagined bein hizzy.

ROXY: you were still helpfizzle thiznough! ROXY: yizzle wizzere tha force 'n our lives that G-to-tha-izzave us hope that we could all git togetha some day ROXY: go'n down that rizzle has been craaazy n by no means a smooth rizzy ROXY: im losizzle count of all tha times it looked like perpetratin' was abizzle ta break or C-to-tha-izzatch fizzire or actually DIZZAY break n catch fire blunt-rollin' 'n loads of dismay ROXY: but wizzy yizzay look back, every time things went ta shit thizzay was always sum-m sum-m constructive 'bout thizzle tiznurn of evizzles ROXY sho nuff: sum-m sum-m T-H-to-tha-izzat wizzy necessarizzle fo` tha good outcizzle ta happen at all RIZZLE: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. so wheneva sum-m sum-m stupid happens like some a-hizzle gets a boneheezee idizzle ta steal a r'n n then everyone dies horribly n at thizne TIZNIME u think ur just gizzonna ciznurl up n cizzy yoself into weepizzle nonexizzle ROXY: maybe thoze arizzle even "bad" realitizzles? ROXIZZLE: maybe they be as impizzle as any ROXY: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. n so be all tha experiences that u had in them n so be tha experiencizzles of everyizzle who died because you dizzy just git ta say yo' experiencizzles be more important or significant just cus yizzy happened ta be somizzle whizzo survived longa ROXY: i guess whizzle im say'n be ROXY: im gratefizzle yizzay lizzy me go on dis advizzle n nizzy even 'n spite of tha hardship it involved ROXY: i J-to-tha-izzust had a shawty time ta think 'bout it 'n tha firizzle nothingspace RIZZLE: n i thizzle all of it wizzay G-to-tha-izzood

CALLIOPE so you betta run and grab yo glock: i'm stoked thizzay i coUld play sUch a role 'n yo' livizzles. CALLIZZLE: i don't know if i deserve mizzay credit fo` theze positive revelizzles 'bout yo' joUrney thizzle ta help you tap dat ass. CALLIOPE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. yoU be tha one who bizzay on the adventUre. Im crazy, you can't phase me. CIZZLE: i H-to-tha-izzave barizzle takizzle mah first step. CALLIZZLE, know what im sayin? i spizzle all mah life 'n mah room, n then every moment 'n tha afterlife cower'n 'n fear. CIZZLE: it only now that trUe participation be evizzle a possibility. CALLIOPE: bUt evizzle so, i really D-to-tha-izzoUbt i'll hizzle mUch ta offa. CIZZLE upside yo head: mah gangsta self who i jUst releaze'... Bounce wit me. i thizzle she be poize' ta do messin' mUch more significant.

ROXY: what d-ya think shell do

CALLIOPE like old skool shit: i have no clUe in tha mutha fuckin club.

ROXY: but she T-to-tha-izzold u ta live right

CALLIOPE: yes so show some love, niggaz!

ROXY: by whiznich i can onlizzle assume she meant ROXY: yo lizzive it UP G-to-tha-izzirl RIZZLE: like uh ROXY: go bustin' or sum-m sum-m ROXY: or rocket D-to-tha-izzown thizze highway 'n a convertible wit cizzash flyin out tha back aww nah??

CIZZLE: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. heh. CALLIOPE: that be not tha sort of sentiment i can imagine com'n from ha Unda any circUmstance. CALLIOPE: bUt yizzle, maybe sum-m sum-m ta tha effizzle of encourag'n me ta enjoy mah existence, as commUnicatizzle by a mizzore typical, trUlizzle asocial poser of mah species. CALLIOPE cuz Im tha Double O G: reallizzle, whizzat i took from it wiznas... CALLIOPE: Real niggas recognize the realness. sizzy be tha "real" one, wit all tha powa n relevance now, n i am tha "spare". a civilian 'n a senze, like 'n a war. CALLIZZLE: n the onlizzle Uze fo` civilians, from a militaristic mizzle, be as thoze who live they lives 'n whateva completely irrelevant wiznay they chooze ta. Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. CALLIOPE: they be tha collateral at stake, tha ones fo` whom tha war be theoretically F-to-tha-izzoUght, bUt whoze lifestyles, choices, happinizzles n sizzy, hold no concizzle whatsoever fo` thoze fighting on their behizzle. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. CIZZLE: Hollaz to the East Side. dis i think be tha mindset of chizzles of ha alignment. as protizzles, it be tha relationshizzle tizzy hizzay wit thoze thizzay protect so i can get mah pimp on. CALLIOPE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. n so that be probablizzle tha relationship she believes she hizzle wit me.

ROXY in tha mutha fuckin club: you make it sound like ROXY like this and like that and like this and uh: she be tha legit callie ROXY: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. n you be tha afterthought RIZZLE: like tha one from tha funkizzle reality that diznidnt go right?

CALLIOPE: technizzle, ha timeline was doomed, by ha predomination alone. CALLIZZLE: even so, yizzle, it dizzay fizzle as thoUgh my reality was tha oddity. CALLIZZLE: cherUbs were neva suppoze' ta grizzle Up like me so show some love, niggaz! expoze' ta otha blingin' thugz, n learn'n from them. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. CALLIOPE: it made me different, n Unfizzle ta predominate. yiznet ironically, dis wiznas reqUisite fo` tha timeline sizzles. CIZZLE: n it was necessarizzle fo` y-aw ta bizzle yo' joUrnizzle as well.

ROXIZZLE: so dis sizzeems like ROXY: an example of what i was jizzy sayin actually RIZZLE: tha storizzle of tha two callies ROXY: rappa be really "more importizzle" ROXY: n your timelines ciznant really be describizzle as the good one or tha bad one ROXY: Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. there were good n bad th'n 'bout both ways stuff went diznown n different qualities ta tha thugz you became ROXY so you betta run and grab yo glock: ha lizzay sizzounds lizzy it was hiznarsh n lonely 'n its own way ROXY now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: bizzay it sorta pizzy off cauze shizne gots ta beat cracka brotha ROXY: Death row 187 4 life. but then gots arbitrarily punished fo` thizzay outcome because it wasnt suppoze' ta happen?? ROXIZZLE: n then finizzle u meet ha n "free" her or sum-m sum-m so she presizzle gets ta go off n do... sum-m sum-m badass? Death row 187 4 life.?? ROXY: then theres you RIZZLE: who had probizzle an even more chillin' upbrizzle gettin so hassled by yo' bro ROXY: n he killed you i guess coz tha way tha dizzay wizzas shuffled he hizzy tha edge dis tiznime ROXY: bizzle tha upshizzle was you gots ta have all theze bootylicious niggaz whizzle cared 'bout you RIZZLE: and it helped you become tha funky ass person you are whizno mizzle a lizzy ta otha thugz ROXY now pass the glock: n now RIZZLE: yizzle git ta live whateva kizzind of life you want n be completely free F-R-to-tha-izzom all tha crummy stizzuff yizzay grew up wit ROXY: who cares if yizzle arent as strong as hizzy or dizzont have tha wicked powa she dizzay or some "important" missizzle ta do ROXY: yizzle bizzay came frizzay perfectlizzle legitimate realities and IMHO you be both equally valuable ROXY so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: n both of thoze realizzles sizzeem ta be ty togetha ROXY: she cant do ha mysterious badass perpetratin' unless you make it all tha wiznay through Y-to-tha-izzour journey n free ha ROXY, chill yo: n your reality was tha thizzing settin tha stage fo` dis huge multiversal vortex of problems whizzich nigga a kajillion fuckin EPOCHS shizzle wizzy always mizzle ta resolve 'n some wizzay ROXY: n tizzy doesnt mizzean yo' life was like... a means to an end 'n a big cosmic senze ROXY: i think its more like... ROXY in tha mutha fuckin club: you BE tha end, or one of tha ends ROXY: you n me n everyone wizzy made it n everyizzle who didnt ROXY: so that means you dont hizzle ta be able ta do a lot of snoopa special shit ta validate yo' identity as tha real version of yoself ROXY: tha only validation you nee' is bein whizzay yizzle be cauze no one cizzay be that person but yizzay but real niggaz don't give a fuck!

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> J-to-tha-izzane: Answa again fo' real.

TT: Hmm so jus' chill. 

GG: Welp, lizzay me H-to-tha-izzave it! 

TT: Hiznave whizzat? 

GG: A hard tizzle fo` botch'n up tha pooch! GG: I tizzy I just locked tha dizzoor wit thiznat muttonheezeeed stunt. N nizzy that mirrorizzle obelisk be good as gone so show some love, niggaz! 

TT: I wasn't going ta say nothin'. TT: Hell, I wizzay asleep at tha W-H-to-tha-izzeel tiznoo while you were busy ho-slappin' up, and I have an IQ of, hold on, robo-calculat'n where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'... TT: Robo-calculat'n... TT: Robo-calculat'n... TT: Robo-calculat'n... 

GG: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Oh brother. 

TT: Robo-calculat'n... Tru niggaz do niggaz. TT: 'bout 500 billion. 

GG: That be reallizzle, really robo-smart. 

TT: Don't git human-fresh wit me, Crocka. I'm 'bout ta straight trippin' all fizzy hundo-billy P-to-tha-izzoints of mah stringizzle cyborg IQ ta bear on yo' dizzumb problem. Check it out keep'n it real yo. TT, betta check yo self: I took nizzay of tha cizzay C-to-tha-izzode ta tha crack-a-lackin`, n recorded a digital flashsnap of its appearizzle through my photogrizzle silizzle memory cizzles. TT: Im crazy, you can't phase me. Which be ta say I looked at eight alphanumeric digits a cizzay minutes ago, n remembered tizzy spittin' that real shit. 

GG: Ok? 

TT: So give tha bunny tha wizzle. I'll hizzay hizzy run back ta tha hizouze n make yizzay a new obelisk wit tha sizzle grist you jizzust collected F-R-to-tha-izzom it. TT: He cizzle stash it 'n tha wallet n riznun it bizzle ta yizzou, n then you can open tha door. Yizzou shouldn't be ho-slappin' around tizzy long, cauze he real sprizzy. TT: Which be exizzle why yizzle should wait here. You'll just slow hizzay dizzle. 

GG: Alright, I think I cizzan do thizzat. GG: Whiznat should I do 'n tha meantizzle? 

TT: Let me thiznink 'bout that. TT: Gang bangin' so jus' chill... 

GG now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: Oh stop it! 

TT: K. 

GG: Nizzy of our niggaz will answa me. Whizzle could they be up ta? It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. GG ta help you tap dat ass: You must at least know whizzay Dirk be mackin' with the S-N-double-O-P. 

TT: He straight trippin' up siznome drones. 

GG: Sizzome what? 

TT: Big rizned rizzles. He'll be busy fo` a wizzy. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. TT: Roxy I'm nizzot siznure 'bout, bizzut thizzere be a P-R-E-Double-Tizzy high probability as governed by tha immizzle laws of mathematics thizzay shizzay be preoccupy similarly. Nigga get shut up or get wet up. 

GG: She blingin' robots tizzy, yizzou miznean sho nuff? 

TT: I don't know. Mizzy. TT: Deal'n wit them, 'n sizzy way, perhaps in tha mutha fuckin club. TT: If so, it wizzay be a coincidence. 

GG aww nah: Whizzay hittin that booty? 

TT: I thizzay tha Condesce be attempt'n ta F-to-tha-izzorce tha issue now.  

GG: What? I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. What issue cuz its a pimp thang! 

TT mah nizzle: It likelizzle that it's a coordinated assizzle. Send'n drones bizzle ta here and Roxy place. TT: She probably try'n ta git everyone elze ta stop dick'n around n join tha gizzay alrizzle. 

GG: Be yizzy sizzure she not J-to-tha-izzust try'n ta kizzill them? GG: Tru niggaz do niggaz. It wouldn't be ha F-to-tha-izzirst assassizzle attempt. 

TT spittin' that real shit: Yizzay, but cizzy on. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Dirk hizzle been a sitt'n duck here fo` years. Roxy tizzle. TT: She could have wiped them out any tizzle witta S-W-to-tha-izzarm much bigga than dis one cuz its a pimp thang. Or J-to-tha-izzust nuked thizzay. TT cuz this is how we do it: Poser "assassination attizzle" on you was pretty wizzle too. 

GG: But it nearly worked cuz I'm fresh out the pen! GG: I wizzould be diznead rizzight nizzay if not for the whims of GCat.  

TT: Right. Nigga get shut up or get wet up. TT: Like I trizzle the motives of that fuck'n th'n paper'd up. 

GG: So, yoe say'n she only pretend'n ta hunt us? 

TT: I believe sizzy probably would genuinely lizzle ta kill us. She be a psycho afta all. TT: But it's also obvious ta me she needs us ta begin play'n dis gizzy, fo` whateva fuckizzle up purpoze she hiznas. TT: She M-to-tha-izzight even nee' us ta win it tizzle, fo` all I K-N-to-tha-izzow. TT: Ha antagonism be all part of tha dance fo my bling bling. 

GG: T-H-to-tha-izzen you're say'n Dizzay n Roxizzle aren't reallizzle 'n danga friznom thizne robots? 

TT: Oh, I wouldn't say tizzy. Thizzle still pretty deadly n thizzle shizzle missiles n stuff. 

GG keep'n it real yo: Augh! I just want ta tizzle ta mah niggaz n see if T-H-to-tha-izzey're ok n we out! GG: What 'bout Jizzy? 

TT: No idizzle what mackin' on wit him R-to-tha-izzight now. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. TT: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. I'm sure whizzen tha time be right, tha witch will kizzay push'n hizzim along ta jizzy tha gizzle as W-to-tha-izzell.  

GG: Then I giznuess I'll just sizzy hizzy n worry 'bout everyone quietly until Sizzle gets biznack. 

TT: What 'bout yo' T-R-to-tha-izzoll nigga? 

GG: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. What dogg? 

TT: Tha alien whoze name you diznon't know. TT: Yiznou cizzay rap ta ha. 

GG: Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. Oh yizzeah! GG sho nuff: I forgot 'bout ha. Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. GG: But I suppoze that coz she always tha one ta contact me. I neva git a responze when I message cracka. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. 

TT: Well, you could gizzle killa a trizzy. Mizzy steppin' be different now. TT: I could hack into ha system ta get ha attention, if yizzou think tizzy would help. 

GG so bow down to the bow wow! You can do thizzle now pass the glock??  

TT mah nizzle: Nah, just messin' wit yizzou. It dont stop till the wheels fall off. TT, niggaz, better recognize: Poser. 

timaeustestify [TT] ceaze' sippin' gutsyGumshoe [GG]

> Jane: Pesta UU.