#gold digger series

[lily-avenue]

Musings on Gold Digger (2019)

** Warning contains major spoilers **

** Also warning: massively long-winded ramble **

Julia Ormond, Ben Barnes and an exploration of a may-december romance in the midst of complicated famillial dynamics and an underlying unease.

Both leads are very good. We see Julia Day (Julia Ormond) reclaim herself as she moves out of the roles to which she has been assigned, or perhaps more accurately, has assigned herself; while Benjamin Greene (Ben Barnes) treads the fine line of someone who is not entirely what he seems to be, and who in pursuing the path he has chosen, is moving both closer to, and further away, from what he needs. We all, or many of us at least, want to be known and loved for who we actually are.

The supporting cast are uniformly excellent, with each episode putting the spotlight on one of Julia's now-adult kids (Patrick, Della and Leo), her ex-husband (Ted), her ex-best-friend (Marsha), and her new lover.

The series poses a range of complex, thorny questions, such as what it means to take a much younger (or much older) lover; the immediate and long-term aftermath of domestic violence; the loss of confidence and trust following betrayal; the ripple effect of those pivotal moments that each of us have in our lives; and the small (and large) lies that we tell ourselves and each other.

Nearly everyone in Julia's life is openly and vocally "concerned" when she introduces the much younger Benjamin into her life, and the series also explores the cost of pursuing your own happiness in the face of others' disapproval.

For the most part, the two sons (Patrick and Leo) are Not Very Nice. While they are not necessarily unjustified in their concerns about Benjamin, and are each grappling with the fallout of their parents' shared history, how they act upon those concerns is rather unpleasant. (And slighly nonsensical. Patrick is a well-heeled lawyer, surely he would have hired a private investigater to do some digging?) Della, her daughter, is the most open of the three to their mother's new relationship. And while for the most part that isn't saying much, Della's growing acceptance and support of Julia's right to be her own person and the strength she demonstrates in doing so, make for a lovely subplot - particularly as it starts to positively impact her own life.

While the series asks a lot of questions, it doesn't necessarily answer them in a way that fully satisfies. We see Benjamin and Julia's attraction in numerous sex scenes, and it is fabulous to move from the early scenes, in which she turns off the light, to later scenes in which she has pushed aside some of her insecurities. But we don't see enough of their intellectual attraction, of the non-physical side of things, and of how they navigate the fact that in terms of cultural milieu, he has far more in common with her children than with her (sort of, that too is complicated). There are some lovely glimpses - the book of walks he gives her as a gift, for example, rather than ubiquitous and offensively-generic flowers. But their growing closeness is mostly given in montages of them walking around holding hands in various locales - we are rarely privvy to the intimate discussions that would show a deepening relationship.

Much goes unquestioned by Julia, which given her intelligence and life experience seems somewhat implausible, although perhaps newly discovered and unexpected love can make fools of us all? Her lack of curiosity about Benjamin's past, which clearly continues to affect him, or his financial situation (mid 30s, professional job, but about to be hounded by bailiffs?) is hand-waved away at one point. This is one of those instances where I cannot tell if it suboptimal writing (maintaining suspense at the cost of characterisation) or very clever writing (Julia tends to avoid conflict; her reluctance to ask questions to which she doesn't necessarily want to know the answer has precedence). Herein lies the dilemma of suspense-based drama: in keeping Benjamin an relatively unknown quality we lose the opportunity to get to know him and Julia as a couple, and that becomes problematic later on.

We experience Julia's growth as she takes responsibility for her own destiny, eventually starting to question what it is that Benjamin isn't telling her, and taking the necessary steps to find out more. And when she finds out more, and it is rather confronting, she still chooses to listen before coming to her own conclusions. But we don't see the same for Benjamin. His journey is more opaque, and because we only get very few snippits of his life before Julia, is largely for the viewer to infer, or only becomes evident after the fact. He wants to run away when things start to close in on him, but he doesn't. Ultimately his hand is forced and he breaks a long-held agreement with his brother to put his own needs first. (There is a small subplot about an engagement that didn't happen; a former girlfriend broke up with him the day he proposed, and one wonders if it was because he also told her the truth about his past.)

There are interesting contrasts between Benjamin and Ted. Both are outwardly well put together, but neither are what they seem. Ted is successful, wealthy and enmeshed in entitled middleclass-ness, while Benjamin is not, despite his facade of the urbane younger man.

But the outward trappings hide the fact that Ted is controlling and violent, while Benjamin - despite what the criminal justice system would say - is neither. And that contrast is backed up by the scene with Ted in the forest on the morning of the wedding, compared with that with Benjamin on the beach (in which Julia asks him to not touch her, and he listens and respects her wishes instantly). Even throughout the argument with his newly re-emerged brother Kieran, which escalates into low-level violence, Benjamin only ever reacts, never instigates.

And it would be entirely remiss of me not to mention Marsha, who has made her own bed, unfortunately with Ted in it. We meet Marsha just as she is beginning to realise the extent of the poor bargain she's made, and it really only gets worse.

I am still not sure whether the series simply had very high expectations of the viewer, or whether the script spread itself too thin and undercut itself. The distrust and deception that flows throughout the series was almost catching, and in the face of it I wanted stronger closure, a deeper resolution of the issues that came to light late in the piece. In the absence of that, Kieran's words after the fight with Benjamin resonate just a little too strongly for me. Are they actually in love with one another, or are they in love with what the other represents to them?

Is Benjamin a gold digger? Not, I think, in the traditional sense of the term. He sees in Julia an embodiment of the life he wants to have, but had always been excluded from. My take is that the attraction and burgeoning love is real, but that it is also inseparable from her aura of wealth, education and intellect, which are an integral part of who she is and how she moves through the world.

He was certainly not honest with her, and that also poses an interesting question about how much of our ourselves, and our actions, we can mask, ignore or conceal before sliding into deception or disaster. Alongside Benjamin editing his past to hide a terrible act (in which he played a supporting role but shouldered much of the consequences), we have a younger Julia peddling the fiction that all was well with her (first) marriage, Ted hiding his violent streak, Patrick having an affair, Leo knowing about Ted and Marsha but not telling his mother. The list goes on.

The lingering disquiet of how much of Benjamin is a performance, and how much is real, never quite leaves. We do see sharper edges to him at times, which are in keeping with what is revealed about his past (you couldn't come out of young offenders unscathed, and you certainly wouldn't get through it without developing some pretty decent survival mechanisms), although Julia herself is not privvy to them. It is in the rawness and desperation of a couple of his reactions that a measure of confirmation is provided that his feelings towards Julia are genuine. There is a two-fold element of unreliable narration with Benjamin, yet it feels not entirely unreasonable to conclude that Benjamin the construct is underpinned by a longstanding and deep-seated need, and has largely become Benjamin the actual. But how recent was this process, and was it a legitimate one? We don't ever really find out, and that matters when it comes to our central conundrum.

But as may have become evident throughout this long-winded ramble, one of my own personal failings is that I like my fictional endings to be happy, and unambiguously so. I want Julia to enjoy her 'after', just as much as I want Benjamin to revel in the safety and belonging she provides. So holding onto a suitable measure of optimism (or perhaps of wishful thinking - our characters may not be alone in their penchant for self-deception), let us now return to their wedding reception and one of my favourite scenes. Watching a truly beguiling Julia invite Benjamin to dance, and an utterly charming Benjamin follow her onto the dance floor, made me smile. A lot. And with that in mind I am going to find myself a glass of champagne, ensure my best smile is firmly in place, and head out onto the dance floor to wish the two of them my very best.

[prankvids]

GOLD DIGGER PRANK Pt. 5 | NOT MY BLACK QUEEN!

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[apara-dise-penguin]

Freddy Carter & Ben Barnes at the DIFLondon, Dream It Con's multifandom event.

[grassoftunnel]

I Love You For Psychological Reasons: George and Shannon as a matching pair of gendered insecurities

let me start right off…this is NOT a shipping post (for MANY reasons..), and is not structured in any particular way its just half awake rambling but I feel like George and Shannon’s relationship is super compelling in terms of what they are looking for in each other, and how they define themselves using each other as props.

the title is from the song I Love You For Psychological Reasons by They Might Be Giants which is kind of a cute romantic song but i think can be applied to them as a sad and cynical song about their relationship. I’ve also just thrown lyrics from this song into the post not for anything deep really but bc it made me think of them. Like I said, this is just rambling but I’ve divided it roughly into 4 ways they’re similar:

1.

Hard to explain, but it's plain that I love you for psychological reasons

The root of their decisions to pursue each other have nothing to do initially with an actual interest in the other on their own merits. For George, he was driven by wanting to make Shannon turn away from Battler and look at him that way instead, and for Shannon, george was her way to settle/move on from the heartbreak of Battler.

2.

Lately, I've taken to vacantly making repetitive movements. Mistakenly seen as improvements

They are both deeply insecure about their abilities to fulfil certain gendered expectations, and both seeing each other as pathways to successfully performing those gendered expectations. For George, he was bullied so much and unable to be “strong” and “assertive” or even defend himself, and feels like he’s not a real man because of it. For Shannon, she has her hangups about her androgynous appearance first, and then her intersex body later. See also, their awkward, and at times uncomfortable/forced miming of their ideas of how a man and a woman in a relationship “ought” to act. For George, this can sometimes veer into really uncomfortable ordering around of Shannon…and as for Shannon herself…she learns to react in specific ways to his artificial negging. Both are trying to follow the “script” for how George thinks these types of couple interactions should go/what he thinks Shannon wants based on his distorted perceptions of her past relationship with Battler.

They are both also well aware of the inexperience of the other in relationship matters, so they are able to kind of do a training-wheels version of an actual relationship (most notable with George, but for Shannon like as much as she eventually slowly grows to like George…kind of…any boy who was nice/showed interest would have done the job).

Nearing perfection but wisely electing To shun my reflection, preferring instead shoe inspection

Even then, they’re both twice shy due to their own neuroses so their relationship kind of stalls until George resolves to marry her.

3.

They are also both desperately wanting to leave their old/current self behind, in favour of remaking themselves in order to reach a certain type of future, even at great personal cost. For George, this is his desire to go all out in marrying Shannon, even to the point of throwing away his family if he needs to.

Under the table, unwilling, unable, the torture's medieval The dream is a fable with feeble wings

For Shannon this is her murder-suicide bomb plot deathwish that will wipe away all traces of the truth of her cage of flesh (of the body which makes her “unable to love” in a physical sense..and also a genetic one..since it taints the romantic relationships that were so important for her with incest) ,and make real the possibility of her relationship with George being a True, Uncomplicated Love. They differ greatly though in what this commitment to this relationship means emotionally….for George it’s triumphant but for Shannon, while also triumphant in a way…it’s a bittersweet death march.

Why does the mouse share the house with the louse? They won't say, but they feel their feelings

It’s also worth noting that both of them see the other as “above” themself, and as attaching themself onto someone better in order to improve themself (regardless of whatever the actual reality of their class and age difference is…)

4.

I'm ashamed to admit I'm afraid of assuming the blame For my lame abnegation of braveness and fame Brain in a jar in a car in reverse, I'm rehearsing the way I'll replay how to say how to be where you are

In pursuing this relationship, they both want to prove to themselves that they are capable of achieving these things that they’ve wanted for so long (performing their gender, remaking themselves). They are both constantly trying to plot out their future and like do a “good job” of hitting milestones in their relationship rather than being carried naturally from one stage to another.

Anyway I have no way to wrap this up lmfaoo this is just my loose thoughts! These two are really interesting! Their weird falsely-mutualistic relationship where theyre simultaneously both getting something but also not really getting something of actual substance since its all performance. The selves they present to each other within the context of the relationship are curated specifically to exist in the relationship. And of course this relationship “succeeding” crystallises Sayo’s resolve to undertake the murder suicide…the win condition for both of them is so drastically different haha…

[fiddleyoumust]

Ming is about to fight his whole rich ass family for Joe, and I'm here for it. I'd say he deserves to see Ming get disowned for him as a treat, but I want Ming to stay rich so he can spoil Joe because Joe deserves that and more.

[binbonsescape]

Songs for You | The Bowery Ballroom - New York (February 10, 2023)

[cametotheshowinsd]

BEJEWELED (1932) A Musical directed by: Taylor Swift & Busby Berkeley - Is the nightclub sensation 'Midnight' a gold digger, or a siren woman, or just a girl who wants the penthouse of your heart? Either way, you best believe she can make the whole place shimmer! 💎💎💎 "Diamonds in my eyes, I polish up real nice (NICE!)"

[kenjiyabuki]

i love first & soong's first encounter and its another scene that baffled people w how ridiculous it is BUT again, it think it made perfect sense in the show. we know very well first has a bit of a masturbation/porn addiction, SO him and soong meeting like they are trapped in one of the most well known cliche porn scenarios ever, "pizza guy gets lucky" is LITERALLY a meet-cute for him. while others might dream about bumping while reaching for the same book or whatever, this is probably what he imagined as the ideal romantic scenario. someone that feels like jumped out of his personal fantasies

[kingess]

I loved your post on how to hunt a man. That was lovely, any tips on how to stay safe emotionally when engaging in this?

This is such an important question!

It's an emotionally unsafe practice. It's especially dangerous if you're not 100% clear about your intentions. It can get easily mixed up if you don't cluster them into a job folder in your head, dehumanized. I mainly give tips on vetting men for real relationship purposes so be very mindful that manipulating men is not to gain their love. When you're manipulating them you're not in your feminine frame. Manipulating them is inherently masculine as you chase, court and pursue them for whatever purpose and way. It should ALWAYS be the man that pursues you when you seek something with emotions. I can't say I recommend it, but girls deserve the access to all their options.

So, how can you protect yourself?

Make sure to tune in with your intuition to see you're doing it for the right reason.

Have a roster of males that allows you to forget the individual ones to the point of forgetting who's even texted you and who hasn't.

Copy paste the same messages to all of them and occasionally be personal to boost their feelings.

Do Not get stuck on one for too long no matter how good and easy it is. Time builds attachment, even for a trained mind.

Make sure you're truly unavailable with your time, they love it and it makes it easier to forget about them in your daily life.

Meditate and practise self-love after your Oscar winning performances to cleanse from their negative energy and to remind yourself you're solely emotionally available for healed masculine men.

If you catch yourself thinking "maybe this could develop into something real" do an immediate self intervention and find the self-respect to run. The ones vulnerable to these tactics are unhealed weaklings you don't want to settle with.

I can guide you on how to naturally attract the healthy ones too, until then,

Happy hunting babes ♡

[hastalahamon]

"I always get what I want"

Sure buddy, say hi to Joe....

[silverwolfdesign]

🡒 ✨ 𝐄𝐰𝐚𝐧 & 𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐚 • 𝘉𝘦𝘯 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘴 & 𝘈𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘢 𝘈𝘳𝘫𝘰𝘯𝘢.

❝𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦? 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵.❞ - 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙁𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙈𝙖𝙘

[roseandgold137]

Mmkay I’m going to draw some more asks but in the meantime I’d love to answer asks abt Every Good Gold Digger bc I need to get back into thinking abt it constantly, like it doesn’t even have to be a question even just a keysmash that I can use to infodump with would be cool

[softwaluigi]

god I'm thinking about bing and debbie again. girl I'm so sorry

[apara-dise-penguin]

@blairwaldorfvibezzz ____ ♥

[cryptidsandcatacombs]

Do you ever just look at a couple in media and you are like wow you two are awful for each other and I hate both of you

[cjbolan]

Me: oh Emily Windsnap tides of time was a really good book and I love time travel as a concept more than anything. I should reread it soon.

Me, being reminded of THAT part of the book: Nevermind that actually.

(I love the book but THOSE TWO are one of my top NOTP's for extremely obvious reasons)

I know right?! Makes me seriously question Mary P.'s taste in men XD.

And if you've read Emily Windsnap and the Pirate Prince, this isn't her first May-December romance. Except that time she was the older love interest, and with a possibly underage boy O_O (granted those two only flirted and danced and thankfully never got serious).