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oksana-moods · 1 year

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Queen of Promise - Part 10

Summary: The hell you were put through seems endless.

A/N: To those who are still around: you are lovely. Please, make yourselves known, it’ll give some confidence and will certainly help with this detachment I’ve been feeling with writing.

You’ll gona ask, what about part 11. I know. Well, I don’t know when we’ll see it, I’ll try to work on something the next few days, but as I said to that anon, I’m going through some work stuff and it’s draining a lot. Let’s hope for the best.

Warning: Angst, blood, gore, torture?, mentions of death.

Previous Parts here

"Hopeless and taken"

There was something funny about the dark. How your eyes adjust to the environment to the point that first, you are able to discern things, later you can properly see things in the dark. And then, then you start to imagine it.

But maybe the imagination part is not related to the darkness that enveloped you in that cold stoned dungeon at all. Maybe your hallucination was due something else entirely.

Perhaps, how you could barely feel your toes because the weather started to show or how you hadn’t properly eaten ever since they left you in this hellhole had something to do with these things you supposed you’re imagining.

Or that rat really ate something that lingered around a piece of bone long forgotten in the corner and you swore there were no other leftovers except your own flesh, it probably would be the next thing that animal was going to eat. See, it was hard to tell one thing from another in the dark.

Also, in the dark, it was really easy to lose track of time. There were no windows, and usually dungeons are held underground, there wouldn’t be any windows, that’s why you didn’t know whether it was day or night.

Furthermore, it’s pretty hard to grasp how much time has passed while you’re out of consciousness. You don’t say you sleep, because this way, you’d be outstretching this word and its meaning. No. It was understandable even, you know you pass out after your body gives up due to exhaustion, hunger or because you’re beaten until you can’t stand anymore.

There was a lot to say about the dark, and you didn’t like it at all, but the dark is doable. The silence though, was something else.

It was deafening. It was maddening.

The silence remained imperturbable.

Except for the occasional sound of rats and mice fighting for some dirt somewhere your eyes often couldn’t reach, the sound of your chains clicking when you moved or the eventual whimper you failed to conceal in the depths of your despair.

There was no other sound.

After a while, your heart began to process the situation you were in. Alone, thrown into a cell, all the respect due to someone like you had been neglected. Not that you expected to be treated like a princess of your status should, but at least, you supposed you should be treated fairly, at least.

However, reality was far worse than the things you believed were fair.

You had experienced war, fights, battles, treason attempting, riot and several other crises throughout your short life as a ruler aspirer, by the gods, you even endured to be held as prisoner before.

Yet, nothing compared to the taste Wanda’s betrayal left in your mouth.

Maybe you were being silly, sulking into your misery instead of putting up a fight or trying to find a way out of this nightmare. Perhaps you should be doing these things, trying to turn the tide of events to your favor, however, there isn't a single bone capable of keeping going. You were paralyzed.

Frozen in time and place, your head still insisted on wrapping itself around the last events, filled with thousands of questions that you knew you probably wouldn’t get any answer to. Have you been naive for falling in love, or have you been just reckless?

When did Wanda decide that you were the weakest point in this whole story? Was this play obvious to everybody that you would fall for a lie incarnated in a perfect body with a beautiful face?

Maria did warn you, though. Maybe it was obvious to everybody else except to you.

Certainly, if you had your head in the right place, you would find this embarrassing. However, right then and there, you realized it was just sad, because to you Wanda was everything, and all she’s done was use you for her personal purposes. You were just a prey that failed running off the huntress.

Time seemed to drag itself at a snail's pace, but then again, you didn’t even know how much time had passed. For all you knew, it could be a month already. Even if you were able to count a hundred of days, you supposed your mind wouldn’t stop its assault with the thoughts of Wanda.

It was all too impressive the way your heart still yearned for the woman, even though your feelings were shattered on the floor, broken beyond repair. Too bad something so good took this unexpected turn and the bitter taste was just another reminder of how unbelievable this was.

How unfortunate your heart happened to be in the middle of everything.

All those beautiful moments you had shared were nothing but a ploy, a set up built on lies. And you wondered how long it would take for you to swallow down your throat the shards of your ego that threatened to choke you or to pick up the shreds of your heart poured in the wind.

The salty, ironed copper taste was the first thing your mind was aware of as it drifted back into consciousness. Usually the cold, hard ground felt like a twisted, sick embrace to your beaten body, except, you awoke on your feet, body hanging from the ceiling by the chains.

The dim light reaching your eyes creeped from the creak between door and floor betrayed the torches burning in the corridors. It could only mean one thing. It was late and someone would be walking through these halls. Other than this, the heavy door made with iron never allowed you a simple glance of anything else.

Besides, maybe, by the small opening in the middle that was usually closed except when the guards opened it to come and check up on you. It always made you feel like an animal in a zoo, and you supposed you were the main attraction in this godforsaken place. It was almost disrespectful the number of times they came to see if you were in the same place.

As if you could go anywhere else.

The chains hanging from the ceiling were their first guarantee that you couldn’t move more than a foot unless they loosened it enough for you to lay down on the floor. This mercy was granted only for a few hours.

They made sure you wouldn’t mistake your staying as an unwanted vacation in the Northern Castle. And this was definitely not your winter cabin to enjoy the glamor of the current season. You were a prisoner after all, not a guest.

And then, perhaps worse than everything else, there was the smell.

The room ricked to death, rot, and body fluids. The smell was awful. Sick. It made your stomach churn, and your vomit was a new addition to the horrid smell impregnating the walls, your clothes, skin and nose. Hell, even your brain was probably infected with this stank.

It hadn’t been long, you mused, but your clothes were wasted already, torn to shreds. Your hair clang to your head and face due sweat and blood, and you knew dirt was just another layer of your skin by now.

However, no matter how fucking dreadful your situation was, no matter how fucking awful you were feeling. Nothing would ever compare to the feeling of Wanda’s betrayal.

Right on your first day, Vision had come to your cell to gloat and brag about your stupidity and naivety of falling on their plan like a deer hunted by a huntress. Every word stung deep and deeper on your entire being, but you wouldn’t let it show.

That’s why you decided to headbutt him, which earned you the pleasant view of his face contorted in pain and embarrassment. But as the blood slid from his nose, blood slid from you too.

With an incredible amount of stamina, strength and hatred Lord James Barnes, pleasantly, whipped your back until your legs gave in and you couldn’t keep up by yourself anymore. Blood splattered on the floor, over the walls and even his face.

The wicked smirk present on Vision’s face turned into a satisfied grin once your low grunts of pain became higher, though never really screaming, he contented himself with your humiliation after you couldn’t stand on your own anymore.

Obviously, you were ashamed of showing any sort of weakness before your enemy, this was one of the first lessons you were taught when younger. The shame burned just as the wounds on your back burned with an angry fire as if your skin was boiling from inside out.

Still, it didn’t burn or hurt as much as the thought of Wanda.

The memories of your moments with Wanda Maximoff assaulted your brain mercilessly, without invitation, without stop. Nothing could erase the feel of her touch or her lips. No matter how hard you tried, though brief, your time with the Princess of Sokovia was beyond intense.

You’d experienced love for the first time. It was fast and strong like wildfire; it was only obvious that the devastation in its wake would be just the same.

You didn’t even need to be dropped in a cell to rot into oblivion to be punished because your broken heart was punishment enough. No matter how many physical assaults the Sokovians could think of it would still be nothing after what Wanda did.

Your internal whimper came to a halt when you heard the dungeons floor clicking with the sound of shoes. You weren’t aware if you were the only one in these chambers, but you knew better. This would be Vision, coming for another nice chatter.

He must be bored.

“Lioness, good to see you awake.” The man hissed as he entered the cell you were in. One would expect to be treated like someone of your status would, but this was a piece of Hell on earth. Sokovia didn’t regard the nobles as the other realms did.

Therefore, you didn’t reply. You stood there eying him with disdain, gritting your jaw and silently pleading to the gods to give you strength to not break his nose again. You could endure the pain, but you weren’t mad. Yet.

“Hm, not feeling so talkative today, are you?” Sir Rumlow snarled a few feet from you and in a span of milliseconds, your body moved so fast that one would think that you acted on instinct.

In a blink of an eye, your hands gripped the chains holding your wrists and with an unexpected force, you lifted your body and dropped your legs around Rumlow’s neck. You pressed your thighs hard against his head and the feeble lights coming from the torches allowed you to see his face turning purple due lack of air.

Lord Barnes stopped you from killing the man after he punched your ribs with the hilt of his sword. The searing pain ripped the air out of your lunges and your legs automatically left the knight’s neck and sought to support your body.

You were granted, though, with his embarrassed eyes, coughing lightly due the pressure your legs had put on his throat. You smiled lightly, taking this as little victory to your personal score of vengeance.

The good feeling was short lived, for Vision took one step closer to you, though a little more preoccupied about your fighting skills even chained to the ceiling like you were, and his smirk was on.

You’re yet to see this man without that smirk and you knew, somehow, that he posed like that because he thinks he’s won the war.

Maybe he did.

“I wouldn’t be so smug If I were you.” His eyes darted around the place as if to indicate that there was nothing to be amused about. “You’re still in this hellhole and I can see your face stained with tears.”

His expression morphed into a mockery of a dramatical sad face, lips now facing downwards and only then you were aware that you had cried. And you hated to show another sign of weakness to the man that was exceedingly fast becoming your archenemy.

Yet, you knew so little about him.

“Why are you so sad?” He asked rhetorically and pretended to search his head for possible reasons why you weren’t feeling so super lately. The nerve of this man.

“Is it because mommy isn’t here to clean her baby?” He mocked, then continued. “Is it because you weren’t as smart as you thought you were? Or…” His eyes went wide as if realization clicked in his head right then and there.

“Awn you truly thought she loved you, Lioness?” He laughed. He had the gall to laugh off your feelings, but you let him. “Know that in a couple of moons, I’ll have Wanda’s hand and you’ll be nothing in my memory or hers. Barely a nuisance long forgotten.” He made a movement of dismissing with his hands, but your tongue was sharper than his words.

Shrugging your shoulders, the best you could chained to the ceiling, you replied. “If you don’t mind where her hand was.” You were hurting but you would not give this man the satisfaction of seeing you broken. He’d see strength, nothing else.

However, you couldn’t deny that his words had an effect on you, you couldn’t deny that you were hurting and the idea of Wanda marrying this idiot hurt beyond explanation. Somehow, your stupid heart still hoped that this was a trick, or anything else but truth.

Jealousy simmered through your veins and stomach. Jealousy, confusion and betrayal. Was this her plan all along or did you do something that changed her heart?

The days you shared that house with the Princess of Sokovia were magical, past perfection. There was no word to describe the woman who owned your heart nor the moments of complicity, love and tender you had experienced. Too bad it was just a lie.

It was all but a lie.

And Vision made his job to remind you of that. She had lied to you, deceived you into a ruse just so they could lock you up and request a ransom deal. It was slimier than thousands of snakes. And you fell for that.

The wedding, though, was only a confirmation that you were stupid and fell for a woman that played you around like a ragdoll and didn’t even have the guts to come down to this piece of hell and look you in the face.

What for, though? To mock you? To laugh at your poor state? Maybe it was a mercy not having her present to rub it on your face.

But what you could and wanted to do was to bring the man standing tall in front of you down, lower than where you were now. And the good thing about rock bottom was just this, there was nothing holding you back.

“Tell me, Vision, do you taste me whenever she kisses you?” Your grin was clearly smug, you bare your teeth more like fangs ready to pierce a piece of flesh of those who dared to think that only because you were locked imagined you were tamed. Far from it.

He punches you, hard, but the anger boiling in his eyes was your prize. “Could you be more vulgar? You speak like a whore.”

Suddenly, you realized that physical pain was a solace from your internal misery. Maybe if you pushed his buttons hard enough, he’d kill you then you wouldn’t have to live with all this pain you were forced to deal with inside your heart.

A renewed salty, ironed copper taste danced on your mouth and his only answer was a blooded grin to his rhetorical question. You spat the blood on his shoes and asked another question. “Does she call my name whenever you fuck? Or does she call you babe afraid of making a mistake?”

Another set of punches and screams of anger and you could only laugh. Oh poor man, maybe Wanda didn’t love him either and she could very well be a woman playing with both hearts. If yes, he deserved it. Maybe a twisted god would say that you deserved it too.

“Stop.” A new voice was heard above the noise of fist hitting flesh and irritated mutters from Vision.

You had heard a lot about him. Official stories, reports, songs sung by bards, memories from Wanda and a lot else, but this was the first time you properly saw him.

Pietro Maximoff was a handsome man, and the stories did him justice when it comes to regal stance and beauty. He walked as if he had everything figured out just like a King should.

The knights Barnes and Rumlow bowed instantly, dropping to their knees but Vision limited himself to turn and look at the man as if he were annoyed by the interruption. He probably was annoyed. He probably wanted to kill you.

“Lord Vision, I believe I already informed you about my concerns involving our hostage.” The exacerbated formal tone caught your attention. Pietro was a king, yes. But this was a prison, he didn’t have to act all regal in a place that stank more than any sewer.

“You have, my king, I was only having a conversation with her.” He side-eyed you as if to engrave your distasteful state into his brain for later, as if this meant he had won.

“I see.” Pietro looks at you and you expect mockery, some snarky comment but nothing comes. “Leave, please.” He demands. “All of you.” The men were ready to protest but his somber expression left no room for any argument.

He didn’t know whether you were dangerous or not. Just as you had only heard about him, he had only heard about you and to step inside your cell without an escort or visible blade told you he was brave. Or he was a reckless fool.

“The tales credited you a few inches higher, I’m afraid.” Pietro finally says something directed at you after a while sizing you up and down.

You spat another amount of blood, that hit the floor, for his shoes were keeping a wise distance from you. “Maybe you’re confused with my sword’s size, Your Highness.”

He looks at you for a moment, then chuckles. “Ahh ever the brave cub that keeps roaring even on a leash.” Despite the grin on his face, his words dripped with sarcasm.

“Did you come here to kill me already or will you keep mocking me until I die of boredom?” Your impatience was visible. It’s been too long and no one told you what was going to happen. Except for Vision telling you he’d marry the princess.

Certainly, you wouldn’t be held in this place forever. You were too much of a precious prize for that.

Again, Pietro chuckled and clicked his tongue as if disagreeing with your idea. “You know how these things work; I can’t kill you. You’re too valuable.” He patronized and you wished he was closer so you could headbutt him as well. You didn’t mind if your temper could get you killed, you were past the point of caring for what’s stored for your future.

Then, your head stopped thinking about your broken heart for a second and understood what they planned. A ransom deal that would grant them everything that they wanted. They’d redraw borders and Taharr would lose a lot.

In a futile attempt to discourage him, you lied. “She’ll never negotiate with you because of me.” It was plain and obvious to every person that ever heard about Queen Calanthe that she’d trade her soul to protect her children.

Again, Pietro tsks because he knew his enemy’s greatest weakness. “You know that’s not true. And if something were to happen to you, I’m sure Queen Calanthe would gather every capable person to fight, every sword, march north and stop for nothing until she has my head in a spike after breaking brick by brick down.” He explained, rather amused at the idea he painted with his mind eye. Though you knew she’d do exactly what he had said and more.

“I bet she’s already restless knowing you’re my hostage.” He crossed his arms and looked at you again. “But I gave her my word that you’ll be back alive, unscathed, the moment we draw new borders.”

Unscathed.

Sokovians probably needed an update of the meaning of this word. Despite calling you hostage, you were a prisoner, and it was only obvious you were paying for your crimes and sins. One of them, the worst of them, was your little romance with Wanda.

You closed your eyes at his words. Your fears proved to be true, you’d be the demise of entire families, not to mention how much your kingdom would lose because of you, because you couldn’t keep your pants on. People would suffer and that would be your fault, so much so for trying to stop the war.

“What did you ask?” You questioned through gritted teeth. “The highlands above Ororo’s Fortress?” In your head, it was only reasonable, because that would represent a great deal of farms and the heart of the golden mines.

Your train of thought was interrupted by his voice, though. “Everything above Red Widow Valley.” He smirked triumphantly as your eyes widened.

“That’s outrageous! She’ll never agree with that.” They were asking for more than a half of Taharr’s territory. The farms, the people, everyone who depended and relied on Taharr to not starve would suffer. Guilt weighted on your shoulders like heavy iron.

“She already has.” He stated simply, with a smug grin hanging in his mouth.

“You’re probably thinking so high of yourself, aren’t you?” You looked at him with eyes cold as ice and continued. “You play war as if your people were nothing, you play with a mother’s love…” A scornful look morphed your semblance. “But it’s pitiful that you had to use your own sister to get you what you failed to.”

At the mention of Wanda, his chill demeanor turned into a flame of anger. “You do not get to talk about my sister.” He yelled and you spat the blood on your mouth on the floor once again, this time, you realized he was much closer than before. “You played enough with her and had fun. Now go back to the whores waiting for you in Taharr.”

He dared to speak with you as if you were the one playing her heart when, in fact, she was taking piece by piece of you these past months.

All the hate in you flared.

You wanted to hurt Pietro the same way you were hurting. All you wanted to do was to enumerate the despicable things you did in that bedroom with her. How you fucked her, how you had your way with her, and she still begged for you to fuck her harder.

You wanted to bring Wanda’s name lower than a whore’s, for, at least, with a whore you only get what you’re paying for. There was an urge in your heart compelling you to disclose your intimacy until his cheeks burned the same way your heart did from all the stabbing Wanda gave you.

But, in the end, you didn’t even have in you the strength to fight anymore let alone to pose as someone else other than a broken woman with a broken heart.

For once, there wasn’t in you that fire that was always present, that fire that compelled you to fight and stop only if Death claimed your body as hers. For once, the wild lioness couldn’t roar anymore.

“I loved your sister, Pietro.” Devoid of any humor or sarcasm, you spoke the truth of your heart. Why? There was nothing else left. “Even though she lured me to fuck with me and get your goddamn deal. We both know she was the one using me, instead of the other way around.”

Something shone behind Pietro’s eyes, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. They were so alike and at the same time they were so different that your brain short-circuited. When he spoke, there wasn’t mockery or sarcasm either. Which surprised you.

“Did you really fall in love, Young Lioness?”

He was close and you could finally headbutt him, but you were so devoid of fight or self-respect that you relented. Every single one of your mother’s rules went out of the window. That tale of not showing your enemy what’s in your heart? Or not showing your weakness? There was no point in hiding anymore.

You were defeated.

“How could I have not?”

—

The travel to the south was murderously slow.

As your retinue passed the villages that still belonged to Taharr but in a few weeks would belong to Sokovia, your heart broke over and over. You could swear that people looked at you with disapproving eyes at your actions even though they couldn’t really see you inside the wagon. Or know what you have done. Yet.

You hated wagons and asked to ride a horse, but they considered that you could run and disappear somewhere once in Taharr’s lands. They were probably right.

You hadn’t thought about escaping, but that idea would, most certainly, occur any time after you were surrounded by your kingdom’s vegetation, forests or villages. You knew basically everything about your territory, and this would obviously be an advantage.

Hence the wagon. And your boredom.

If the constant visits of Vision were a pain in the ass, not having visits at all were far worse if that makes any sense. You hated the man for gloating or mocking you but at least you could hate him and not suffer alone as you did when you were all by yourself.

Your wounds were treated before you could march south and the food was no longer distasteful, it was only bad. Which was a huge improvement, considering you still stayed in your cell with that smell, no longer chained to the ceiling.

Your routine of self-loathing was only disturbed by the guards serving you food, for not even King Pietro or one of the knights came to your cell again. Natasha Romanoff never showed up at your cell, doesn’t even need to mention that you never caught sight of Wanda, not even a glimpse of that auburn hair.

When you finally reached Triskelion, it felt like every single person was on the streets to see the Sokovian legion arriving at the Castle, something unheard of since the early days of the Golden Accords.

Only the noble dignitaries and their protection unit were allowed inside the castle walls, as for the rest of the Sokovians prepared their camp somewhere on the left side of the main wall, outside the Keeper itself, where your people would keep an eye on their movements day and night.

You expected loath and hatred in your mother’s eyes, but you were surprised when you saw relief. You had been reckless like never before and you were sure you’d be punished for it, yet it never came. Somehow, it made you feel worse. You didn’t deserve compassion.

“Oh darling, I’m so glad you’re back home.” Her kind words warmed your heart, that so desperately needed some love and rest.

Loki’s face was pale, and you knew he hadn’t been sleeping or eating properly. Just like when you were taken by the Kree and Witch Harkness, Loki probably thought you’d die, and he’d lose his sister. It pained you that you caused him more distress.

Maria and Carol greeted you with the same intensity as they chastised you and that brought a sense of normalcy that put your heart at ease.

The following days you were treated by the castle doctors, and you took your time to heal and rest. Your bed never felt so welcoming, but you couldn’t take from your head the memory of Wanda’s. How soft and how warm her duvets were whenever she laid by your side.

It was obvious that your feelings for her would take a long, long time to fade off. If ever.

As the negotiations advanced, you could sense the restlessness building up on the room full of nobles. Taharrians and Sokovians.

While the latter wanted to move on fast and redraw the borders, Taharrians insisted that they needed to wait for King Tony’s approval of the new border and, especially, King T’Challa’s arrival, for he had requested to be present for the negotiations.

It was only reasonable. Taharr had a peaceful agreement with both Kingdom’s about borders but when it comes to the Embaku’s Forest on the east between Wakanda and Taharr, things were even more complicated than that.

Wakandans believed this forest was sacred and their spirits wandered about the trees to connect again so they could guide their people into prosperity. Your mother and your past relatives always respected their beliefs and never invaded or hunted anywhere near the forest.

King T’Challa, however, wanted to make sure the Sokovians would understand and respect this as well. But if you had learnt anything at all, it is that Sokovians loved a good scheme, were power-hungry and untrustworthy.

Especially untrustworthy.

Your back ached and your bones screamed with every turn and strike you managed with your sword, just as it did with every blow parried by your shield. You looked around bewildered; only moments ago there was a group of nobles discussing new terms and agreements which, somehow, erupted into a fight.

And, with the increasing numbers of Sokovians flooding the halls and chambers of Triskelion, you knew this was an invasion. Someone opened the gates and now a crimson and silver legion inundated your home.

Anger filled you whole and your chest wanted to burst. How many times would you be betrayed by a Sokovian?

You saw Maria running like a wild mare trying to get the Taharrian troops into the castle, for there were only a few units serving as patrol and escort. With Lord Barton lost, deceased or prisoner, information yet unknown, his legion was still adjusting to the new commander so they would take time to arrive.

Lord Wilson fought by your side, and this was probably an order from your mother. You wouldn’t complain this time though, your body was still trying to recover from dehydration, starvation, and from the physical and emotional slaughter.

You tried and failed to get a glimpse of your mother’s whereabouts, because the sea of red was overwhelming. The castle was cramped, so much so that it felt like the air filling your lunges wasn’t enough.

A sword came dangerously close to your head, but you blocked it in the nick of the time. This wouldn’t be a great time to get headless, you mused. With extreme difficulty, and great effort, you pushed back the Sokovians out of the Castle.

They were strong, organized and knew exactly what to do. This was odd. There was a traitor among Taharrians, and you couldn’t, for the life in you, think who would be capable of such absurdity.

From the castle walls it was possible to see Sokovians outside the Main Wall reinforced with two units that belonged to Hydrarr trying to organize a siege, it was definitely odd. If Hydrarr was responsible for stealing and burning Sokovian’s farms, how were they friends now?

Something didn’t add up.

The attempt of railing and controlling the castle backfired and with the arrival of Wakanda’s retinue, Sokovians and Hydrarrians got caught between your troops and the Wakandans. The whole fight lasted almost a day, but you finally stopped the enemies and forced their retreat to the north.

It was certainly a coup.

There were far too many soldiers on your escort in the first place and, even if they were afraid of insurgents as they had said, there were far too many units for a simple border draw. The group of nobles representing Sokovia was made of low-ranking nobles, no one really important to lose in a fight and, except for Sir Rumlow, you didn’t know who they really were.

Sokovians and Hydrarrians tried to overthrow your mother in the most violent and less honorable way possible. The gods should be thanked that the Wakandans arrived in time.

You searched the castle after your mother, but she was nowhere to be seen and even people who saw her fighting said they lost track of her. There was this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was wrong, very much so.

There were people, friend or foe, being carried to the medical bays to be attended to. As were the bodies. After you left the great hall and reached the main corridor, your heart sank when you saw Lady Carol kneeled beside the lifeless body of Knight Belova.

Knight Yelena Belova was one of the fiercest warriors in the whole continent. First, she served as spy, then requested to serve as knight and soon was graced with the honor of being one the Queen’s protector. The most noble and valuable warrior. And now she was laying on the ground in a poodle of blood surrounded by enemies’ bodies.

She fell fighting like a giant, you thought. However, you hated yourself for not paying the proper respect to her service and sacrifice because all you could think of was your mother.

A trail of blood not far from Belova guided you to another room, a few steps away from where you were now. As soon as your eyes landed on the figure in red and white clothes laying on the floor, you felt as though your heart’s going to explode right then and there.

You ran towards your mother, but it felt like your feet were moving through the water.

The second you reached her, you sank to your knees and only then you saw Loki sobbing by her side. He had her head over his lap and held her hand tight. You grabbed the other and it was cold, sickening cold.

“Mother.” You cried but there was no answer. You hoped she’d crack a smile or maybe simply look at you, but she didn’t move, she didn’t open her eyes. “Mother!” You called, urgently, this time. As if some energy could wake her up.

“Sister.” Loki called. His tone was already mourning, grieving, as if to tell you the truth. A truth that you couldn’t take or accept.

“No.” You replied, shaking your head as if throwing a tantrum right then would make any difference, as if it could change fate. As if it could change the fact that your mother was gone and you weren’t there for her, even if to hold her and see the light fading from her eyes.

Your body shook terribly as though your soul was about to slip through your pores. She died a hero’s death, fighting. As she always said she wanted, but you couldn’t believe it, and in a selfish thought, you realized she was gone without teaching you everything you needed.

She was gone when you needed her the most. After all, you would always need her. She was your hero, your beacon.

“Sister,” He tried again. “She’s gone.” His voice had an edge of something, as if he was trying to convince himself. You took him in and saw his robes stained with blood but no visible weapon, though it didn’t look like he was hurt.

“What happened?” You averted your gaze from your mother and met his. There was so much going on behind his eyes that kept your attention until they finally focused. He was lost and so were you.

It was all your fault. If you hadn’t decided to sneak into Wolfgang City, you wouldn’t have gotten caught and this absurd ploy orchestrated by the Sokovians or Hydrarrians wouldn’t have existed. If this deal had never happened, your mother would still be alive.

Hot tears slipped down your face freely, you were responsible for her death in the same way whoever wielded the sword that took her life was. Grief already soaked your bones as all you could think was everything you did wrong.

“I- I- tried, but-.” Loki tried to speak, but his voice trembled just like his body. He was in shock.

“You saw who did this?” Your voice brought his eyes back to you, he was confused and hurting, yet there was something about his expression that brought that uneasiness back to your stomach.

“Ru- Rumlow. I- I- think.” He stuttered more so sobbed the answer as he used his sleeve to clean the blood, sweat and tears staining his face. Then, you took him in and his clothes properly.

“Loki…” Your brother wasn’t a warrior per se, but with an invasion like the one they had just witnessed it was only reasonable that he’d be sporting a chest blade or shield at least. But there was nothing visible around him. Not even a blade or his famous scepter. “Where's your armor?”

Your tone startled him. His eyes darted around like a cornered animal. “Where were you this whole time?” You asked because you couldn’t remember his whereabouts ever since the breakfast that he, uncharacteristically, skipped.

“I- hm. I was-.” Stutter is not a trait that you’d ever associate with him. His demeanor shifted from shocked to someone realizing they’re on thin ice.

Your patience waned off instantly.

“Spill it out.” You hissed and it was absurd that you were about to argue with your brother over your mother’s dead body, but his behavior was too strange for you to ignore. Or you were just too paranoid by this point.

“I- Please, sister, you have to believe me. None of this was meant to happen.” His voice waved, he was about to cry again and the lump forming on your throat made it impossible for you to breathe properly. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

You blinked. His words resonated in your ear as your brain tried to process every single word and what they really meant. You started to shake your head as they sank in, already dismissing the possibility of what was being presented before you. “Are you telling me you’re involved in this?”

“No.” He bellowed, as if your accusation was outrageous. “Oh gods, this is so messed up.” His eyes shot to the ceiling for a second then, they focused on yours again. “I was supposed to facilitate their entry, but they weren’t supposed to touch you. Or mother.” Loki’s eyes were hollow, haunted by his own actions.

You knew that. You could see it. His guilt was consuming him already, but you too were being consumed.

“You betrayed us, Loki! Your mother! Your sister! Your kingdom! And for what?” You grabbed him by the front of his robes and shook him violently, as if the action could knock some sense into his head.

“All I wanted was what is mine by right! I am a King with no kingdom.” He yelled, slapping your hands away from him. “They betrayed me.”

His slap hurt just as the weight of his words did. Though deeply hurting, anger was the only feeling accessible in that moment. “King of what, Loki?” Anger was the only feeling that you could rely on to not fall apart entirely, so you held onto it and let it course through you like the blood you had in your veins.

“In Jotunheim I’d be a King!” He puffed his chest as if it was plain obvious and anger boiled in him due your lack of understanding. And how could you? Loki thought. You were born and raised to be a queen, his unfaithful fate was barely a nuisance to you.

“In Jotunheim you’d be dead!” It was your turn to shout and bring him out of his head, bring him back to reality.

“Can’t you see that this is my birthright?” He asked, almost in a plea and you shook your head vehemently, as if he was being a stupid child.

“And you thought that overthrowing your mother, the woman that raised you as her own child, was the right way of achieving it?” Your head tilted to the side with your sarcastic question, and he opened his mouth to speak, but you weren’t done yet.

“As far as I know, Jotunheim is deep in a civil war again after the eighth in line killed the sixth. The third is crippled in a bed waiting for death’s mercy and all the others died, except for you, the seventh in line. And that’s because of her.”

Every word leaving your mouth felt like a double edge knife. Cutting him just as deep as it was cutting you. Tears streamed down his face as the bigger picture downed in his brain.

“I- I- sister, I beg you. You have to understand, I never wanted this to happen.” He was torn, his decisions would be the grave his grief would bury him in. “Please, forgive me.” He pleaded, suffering in advance.

Now his fate lies in your hands.

“No Loki.” You opened your mouth to continue, but you were devastated and devoid of words or strength to keep talking.

His eyes shot up and searched yours for something, anything. But there was just emptiness.

“No. There must be a way! You are my sister…” His eyes darted around, then focused on yours as he tried again. “Please, tell me what I should do. Anything and I’ll fix it-.”

You stared back at him as he searched his intelligent brain for a way to be forgiven. May your mother forgive you someday, but you couldn’t deal with it anymore.

“Run, Loki.” Your voice broke the silence, and he frowned at your answer or their meaning. “Run and don’t you dare to ever come back.” Your voice did not waver once, unlike how you really felt inside your heart.

“But I- you don’t-.” He stuttered once more, pale with the horrors he had just seen and with the horrors he would face as soon as he left the castle. Loki knows he’d be wanted and hunted down like a mad dog if he decided to stay in Taharr and knew that he’d be dead the second he stepped in Jotunheim territory.

Hells, without the queen’s protection, wherever he decided to go would be too dangerous for him. He was doomed.

Your disgust was evident when you interrupted him. “You don’t understand what your greed did to me. I lost my mother and my brother at the same time.” Sadness emerged in your eyes for the briefest of moments before you finished your sentence. “Leave immediately, you don’t belong to this kingdom anymore.”

Turning your back on him, you laid on the floor right by your mother's side and stood there. The cold of the marble floor impregnating your skin as her blood soaked your clothes, your soul and heart.

Despite the words spoken towards Loki, you knew you were just as guilty as he or Sir Rumlow was. Your greed brought your mother’s demise just as your brother’s did.

Your greed of thinking that you could end the war. The greed of thinking, wishing even, that you were allowed to love. Greed of believing that Wanda fell for you the way you did for her, when, in turn, you should’ve known better.

As you wept and mourned your dear mother, you remembered the last conversation you had had with her. If you only knew it’d be your last.

The what ifs would drive you mad before the sun rose in the horizon, for sure.

“I’m sorry mother. I failed.” Your voice was low, a far cry from your usually confident self.

“You did.” She stated as she offered you the cup of tea. “That makes you human.”

You smiled at her. Maybe she got too scared of losing her daughter, for she was being too subtle and forgiving in a way that was mostly out of character for her.

“You see, love, life is not an easy game to play.” She patted you on your face lightly, as she always did when she needed you to look intently at her and show you tenderness at the same time. “As a ruler, as a future queen, the path is even more tortuous.”

“Do you mean tortuous as complex or devious?” You took a sip from the liquid as lavender invaded your nostrils. Chamomile and lavender, she knew you hadn’t been sleeping. Of course she did.

“Both.” She smiled softly.

“Are you going to punish me?” You blatantly asked, almost ignoring what she had said. But you absorbed her words and their meaning. Life would be – was – difficult and deceitful at the same time.

You watched as Calanthe had the gall to laugh at your question, but then she shook her head lightly. “I believe you’re already doing it for yourself, love.” She patted your knee as she took a seat by your side.

The trees on the fields ahead were long naked, devoid of their leaves or fruits due winter, yet they were still beautiful, somehow.

“I was a fool and now our people will pay the price.” Your words were harsh, but not directed at her. It was all directed at you.

“They probably will, but you must not forget about the others under your command. If you keep looking at what you lost, you may lose even more by neglecting what you still have.” Her wisdom reached your ears and heart, but you retorted.

“How can we rebuild from this low?” Your voice resembled a child facing a puzzle or a challenge they cannot solve on their own and she smiled kindly at you, she probably saw it the same way.

“Well, love, I’ve learnt a long, long time ago to let myself get cut to always return whole with spring.” She spoke, not looking at you this time, but to the trees ahead on the fields.

“What?” You requested clarification and she gave it to you.

“You see how the trees always lose their leaves and get pruned over the winter? This is natural and the trim is a must so their branches can grow stronger. When spring arrives, the beauty returns to the trees, and they’ll grow whole again, with leaves, flowers, fruits…” The queen explained, all the while with a tender smile on her face, as though she’s explaining the meaning of life to an infant.

And, in fact, she was.

“You’re facing your winter, love, you’re getting pruned, and I know it hurts. But you’ll come back whole, you just must be patient and wait for the spring.” Her hand rested on yours and gave it a light squeeze. “Your kingdom will spring too, you just need to work through its winter.”

As her words sank in, your spirit felt renewed with a sense of duty and obligation to your people. You’d fight for their safety, and you’d work on deals to grant the families the decision to choose which realm they’d live in.

Nodding slightly, you replied. “I will.”

“I expect nothing different.” The warmth provided by her hand and words were so welcomed that had you closing your eyes. You missed home, especially, you missed your mother. “And to answer your question, I could never punish you for following your heart.”

You opened your eyes to see her dark orbs boring into yours with the same tenderness that she used to look at you after falling from your horse when you were still learning how to ride. They were intense, they were protective, they were everything you could focus on.

Out of everything you could or should say, your chest spoke first. “Will it hurt like this forever, mother?” Right then and there, you were only a child scared of their first time hurt and she softened her features even more.

“Oh love,” She hugged you and you reveled on the warmth provided by her embrace and love. “I’m afraid I don’t have the answer for this, as my short experience with your father, I still miss him.” You took a deep breath. Your father isn’t often mentioned, it was like an open wound how he died so soon after your birth.

“I feel so stupid for being lured into that trap.” Your voice was muffled by her chest as she caressed your head, fingertips playing with the baby hairs growing on your hairline.

“You shouldn’t feel stupid for having feelings.” She kissed your forehead lightly, then resumed her ministrations. It was soothing, healing. “If anything it shows me you have a heart.”

“I hate her for what she did to me, and I hate that I can’t hate her.” You felt her chest moving, she chuckled at your words and their ambiguity. You drew back to look at her in the eyes and spoke again. “I mean it, I- I hate her and love her at the same damn time.”

You sighed and relented, for you had finally come out with your true feelings. You didn’t count that desperate and pitiful confession to Pietro. “Because only love can hurt like this, right?” You asked and again, you looked like a youngling about to enter a maze. Insecure and scared.

She nodded, trying to bite back the emotion striking her chest, as a mother she hated everything you had been through. As a mother, she hated the marks – visible or not – the Sokovian princess had caused you. As a mother, your suffering was physically painful for her to testify.

As a queen, though, she knew this was a lesson you had to learn. As a queen, she knew this would only make you tougher, no matter how daunting everything looked now. As a queen, she knew this was a path for you to understand – fully – how one single action has its burdens.

“You should make Loki next in line, for I’m not fit to be a queen.” Your blunt words brought her out of her head, and she blinked several moments before speaking.

“Where’s this coming from?” Her head turned fast to look at you, to look you in the eye and maybe pierce the answer herself.

Completely uncomfortable, you shrugged your shoulders avoiding eye contact at any cost. However, you gave her the answer she had requested. “Look at the mess I’ve made, look at the mess I am.”

With the corner of your eye, you saw her frown for a moment, then spoke. “I see a strong woman and nothing less. As for the mess, Pietro can have the gold, love, but he’ll eventually learn that he can’t eat metal in winter.”

Her hand softly touched yours, the comfort of the gesture couldn’t be measured in words, in fact, you thought your chest could burst with unshed tears, as if you were just a child weeping after their hurt knee. Though you couldn’t. You weren’t just a child anymore.

“As for the mess, you made a mistake. Do you think I’m perfect?” She completed after your silence, staring at your intertwined hands. You didn’t have to look up to see a small smile creeping to her lips.

“I do.” You replied sincerely and finally looked at her.

Almost out of character, the queen laughed. A wholehearted laugh erupted from her chest. “Thank you, but no, I did a lot and still do nowadays. When we make a choice, it can be good or bad. You just must live long enough to see which one is and have courage enough to fight to make it right, to make another choice hoping it’s for the best.”

Her index finger touched your nose softly, just like she used to when you were younger when she wanted to make a point. To point at you. “And you, love, you’re the bravest person I have ever met.”

“My courage just gets me in trouble, mother.” It was your turn to frown and look at her as if to double check if she weren’t mocking you. You had a lot of courage, indeed. You never backed down from a fight, never settled for the easy thing to do but the right one. Yeah, and there was always a huge problem hunting after your tail.

“You were brave enough to love your enemy, this tells me much.” Her words caught you out of guard, but a fond smile told she wasn’t mocking, or mad, it was as if she appreciated your stupid decisions. “That’s no easy feature and that’s why I know you’ll protect and be kind to our people. Your kingdom.”

“It’s your kingdom, my queen.” Your brows were furrowed again, not quite liking her tone or the direction this conversation was taking.

“One day it will be yours, love.” A satisfied smirk punctuating her sentence.

A hand violently shaking your shoulder brought your head back to present and the pain coursing through your chest was now back on full force. Your eyes snapped open and found the source of the hand being Lady Maria Rambeau.

“Oh by the gods you’re alive.” The woman spoke at your movement, fussing all over to find a wound. “You’re so pale and there’s so much blood…” Her voice trailed off at the end, cementing your heart with the painful truth.

“Maria, she- she’s gone.” You sobbed and her eyes softened tons at your broken voice and expression.

“I know.” She spoke gently while trying to make you get up from where you were laying. “And now I need you to rise from the ground, my Queen.”

The weight of her words hit you like a spear piercing your heart. The weight of your destiny fell on your shoulders like a blanket made of ice-cold metal.

“How?” You asked dumbly. You were not sure whether she meant the literal ground, the cold stone ground your body was half laying, half seating on or the pit of madness and chaos you and your whole kingdom got into.

You were not sure of how you could do either.

You were lost.

Suddenly, you were transported to a memory of when you were just a kid chasing after a foal that got lost into the woods near the royal stables. Like a brave little silly, you entered the tree line, but it didn’t take long for you to get lost. Every tree looked exactly like the other and soon you didn’t know what was left and right.

Much like then, you felt that lost. There was no right or left nor up and down. Just a rock bottom of misery staring back at you.

The person who had found you cornered into the trunk of a tree crying like a silly lost girl back then, wasn’t here anymore to guide you. Your mother was gone, and this was a reality you couldn’t escape.

“Why do we fall?” Maria’s voice brought your attention back to her. A kind smile matching her kind eyes towards you, her protégé.

“What?” You asked, again, dumbly. Not really understanding what she wanted from you or for an answer.

“Why do we fall?” She asked again as if it would make any sense. After realizing you were too shocked to properly answer, she clarified. “So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

Her voice resonated throughout the room, but in your ears you could all but hear your mother’s voice and wisdom. This was the exact same sentence she had spoken so many years ago, after tenderly picking you from the ground.

Your mind was a whirlwind; This time it was your time to pick yourself up, you’d have to climb this hole by yourself.

Your brother betrayed you, your mother was dead and now you were the supreme ruler of Taharr. The people – your people – would look after you for guidance, for protection, to be their light in the darkest times, such as the ones you are facing now.

Getting up from the literal ground, you were back on your feet and though your knees were a little bit wobble, you kept your stance. Only now seeing Lady Carol and Lord Samuel also arrived in the room, eyes down with respect towards the body of your mother.

“Sam, help me take her to her room. Carol, gather the morticians to prepare her.” Your voice shook a little with grief and pain. Maybe being strong and trying to be a queen wouldn’t be an easy feat. Not that you thought it would.

After another intake of air, you turned to Maria and this time your voice was firmer. “Maria, you and I are climbing the north tower so I can light up the Goblet of Fire.” Some sort of reassurance took over your body as you decided to proceed with the costumes and traditions of when a king or queen dies in Taharr.

The next in line would be the one to light the fire that could be seen miles and miles away from Triskelion. The next in line would be the one to deliver the somber news to their people.

“We have an announcement to make.” You finished grimily.

taglist:@californianwhiterabbit @cowxpoke

Final

#queens of promise #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #angst #wanda x fem #wanda x oc #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x fem! reader #wanda maximov #princess reader #princess wanda #medieval au

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tateypots · 4 days

Text

To Keep You Safe

18+ only, minors DNI

Summary: Joel returns home weak and exhausted after a strenuous patrol, you are anxiety ridden waiting for his return, you comfort each other the way only you can.

A/N: Written for @justagalwhowrites Joel Miller Birthday Celebration. I picked Jackson Joel and the theme is hurt/comfort.

2.6K words

Warnings: Joel Miller x reader, established relationship, smut, cock warming, unprotected piv, joint showering, dirty talk, slight daddy kink (one mention). No violence but allusions to minor injuries, past and present.

‘They’ve spotted horses from the wall!’ Ellie all but screamed at you through the open door of the greenhouse before turning on her heel and sprinting towards the gates. The plant you had been repotting slipped from your hands, compost spilling over the ground as you followed suit, running after her as fast as your legs could carry you, simultaneously trying not to get your hopes up and contain the rising panic that had threatened to engulf you for the last few days. It had to be them. Please, please let it be them…

A small crowd was already forming at the gates by the time you arrived, Hank and Mike trying to corral everyone back away from the two rugged figures on horseback making their entrance into Jackson. The relief that flooded you when you saw it was indeed them nearly had your legs giving way. Hank spotted the pair of you running like mad women and moved to block your path. He dove for Ellie and grabbed hold of her, taking advantage of his distraction you dodged easily, grinning at her yells of “let go of me asshole!” as you careened full pelt into Joel just as he completed his dismount. He let out a strangled grunt but didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a vice like grip. From behind you, you heard scuffling and a strained “we need to check em for bites.” Followed by a yelp in pain and a few seconds later you felt the impact of Ellie throwing herself into Joel’s torso. One of his arms released you, grabbing her to hold her tight to him as well. Leaving your arms around his neck and head pressed into his chest you angled your lower body away from his torso allowing Ellie to snake an arm round his midriff before you settled back against the both of them. He let out a contented sigh, both his girls safe in his arms.

You lifted your head peer over Joel’s shoulder, seeing Tommy and Maria locked in a similar embrace. As they broke apart Tommy looked over at you and you reached an arm out to him, he grabbed your hand in his and held tightly. He looked awful. Covered in filth and blood and radiating exhaustion. You released his hand and pushed back slightly from Joel to see he was in a similar state. They’d set out on a routine patrol and radioed back a few hours in that they had spotted two men and they were going to check them out to make sure they weren’t a threat. That had been the last you’d heard from them for a week.

You were desperate to know what had happened but recognised now wasn’t the time. “I sure am glad to see your faces but you assholes scared the fucking shit out of us. You get a pass for today but tomorrow you are both in serious trouble.” Joel huffed out a laugh at you as he pulled you back in to place a kiss to your forehead as Ellie released him from her death grip and moved over to place Tommy into it instead.

“Guys you know the procedure, we got to check em for bites,” you heard Hank behind you.

“Don’t worry Hank, I’m gona get Joel naked as soon as he’s in the house, I promise I’ll report back,” you promised him with a wink as Ellie muttered, “gross!”

Hank started sputtering like his brain was misfiring as a deep red blush crept over his face.

“It’s fine Hank, do you really think that Tommy or Joel would come back in here if there was any chance they’d been infected?” Maria finally stepped in, rescuing him from his embarrassed floundering. “We’ll check them ourselves just to be sure but there’s no way either of them would put anyone here at risk and you know it.” Reluctantly Hank relented and started barking out orders for the horses to be taken to the stables as Mike finally managed to convince the crowd of onlookers to return about their business, recognising your need for privacy. You flashed him a grateful smile as you started the slow walk back to town, both men too exhausted for their usual brisk pace.

Tommy and Maria separated off to head home after another quick round of hugs, leaving you, Joel and Ellie to continue on in comfortable silence, Joel sandwiched between you and the smaller girl as you both clung onto him like you were scared he would disappear if you weren’t touching him. As you reached the front door Ellie excused herself after another fierce hug, promising to return later with dinner from the mess hall, your threat of getting Joel naked clearly sticking in her mind.

You opened the door and headed into the entryway, Joel hot on your heels closing the front door behind him. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” you asked as Joel moved towards the inner doorway. “Erm, I’m going inside my damn house.”

“Not like that you’re not, you’re not dragging all that filth through our damn house, especially not after I’ve spent the last week obsessively cleaning it to keep my panic at bay. Besides. I promised Hank I’d get you naked as soon as I got you home and I don’t break my promises.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes but didn’t complain as you removed his jacket and started to undo the buttons of his ruined flannel. You were almost finished before he noticed the tremor in your hands, as you pushed the shirt off his shoulders he glanced down and caught a glimpse of your watery eyes. Now free of his shirt he pulled you roughly to his chest, the touch of his bare skin breaking the dam as sobs racked your body and tears streaked down your face. He held you tight, shushing and soothing you, running a large palm up and down your spine and pressing kisses into your hair. “I’m so, so sorry baby, had to do it, had to keep you safe.”

You felt so pathetic, blubbering like an idiot, it should be you comforting Joel after he’d been through who knows what out there but now that the tears had started you were struggling to contain them. “I love you so fucking much Joel,” you gasped between sobs, “I didn’t say it that morning, I should have told you. I was so fucking scared I’d never get to tell you again.”

“Shh shh shh, its ok baby, I know. Don’ need for you to say it for me to know, I feel it. You’re mine and I’m yours and that’s the way it is. Love you so much darlin’, thought about nothin’ but getting home to you since the second I rode out the gates.” You clung to him for a few more minutes, allowing the heat of his body, the steady beat of his heart and his reassuring words to calm you and clear your head slightly, allowing you to regain control of your breathing. You reached up on your tip toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. You tipped your head back to look up at him and his dipped to rest his forehead against yours, bringing his hands up to cradle your face and wipe your tears with his thumbs.

“Love you.”

“Love you too baby. Now, whaddya say you finish getting me naked, would hate to have to tell Hank that you’re a liar.” He smirked down at you while you chuckled, bringing your hands down to undo his belt buckle as he kicked off his boots without bothering to untie the laces. Undoing the button on his jeans and pulling down the zipper sent a pang of arousal through you, the mere thought of Joel naked in front you enough to have you buzzing with excitement. Even in his current filthy, dishevelled state and smelling more than a bit ripe you still thought Joel was the sexiest man in the world. So big and broad and so handsome it almost hurt. Hooking your fingers inside the hem of his jeans and boxers you pulled them down together to his ankles, crouching down to help pull them over his feet. Unfortunately your crouched position left you in direct eye line of his crotch. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of his beautiful cock. It never failed to impress you, long and girthy and so fucking perfect. Already half hard you saw it twitch at your proximity. You glanced up at him from the floor and the sight of his gorgeous brown eyes boring into yours, pupils blown wide with lust had a gush of wetness spilling into your panties, your pussy aching to be filled. After a week apart your need for him was almost at a catastrophic level. You’d cum as soon as he touched you at this rate.

He reached down and grabbed your arms, pulling you to your feet and out of your reverie. A small amount of sense returning to you now that your face wasn’t inches from his penis, you grabbed his hand and turned towards the inner door, determined to get him clean. His free hand grabbed you round your middle, settling splayed on your stomach and pulled you towards him, your back pressed tightly to his chest. “No way missy, you’re all dirty, got you covered in all this filth. Looks like Daddy ain’t the only one in need of a strip down and a wash.” A quick glance down at yourself revealed he was right, your clothes and skin now soiled with the grime that was coating Joel. From his position behind you he got to work, swiftly removing your shirt and bra, the groan he released as your breasts slipped free reverberated through your entire body. Unable to stop himself his hands grabbed hold of them, squeezing and massaging before moving to tweak at your nipples. “Fuck, missed these tits baby, never get tired of the feel of them.” His lips connected with your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses down towards your shoulders as his hands continued kneading your tits.

“Joel…shower. Now. Please.” You’d never know where you got the strength to utter those words, you had more than half a mind to let him fuck you right here in the entryway, hygiene be damned. He growled behind you but released your breasts to undo your pants and pull them off you, taking your panties and shoes with them. Now free from the confines of your soiled clothes, you pulled him behind you up the stairs to the bathroom and into the shower.

Under the water, the exhaustion hit Joel full force, the surge of adrenaline that had pumped through him the minute he got you alone had waned leaving him weak and sluggish. He slumped against the wall to keep himself upright as you swallowed the lump in your throat at seeing him like this. Trying hard to wipe the worry from your features you set about running your soaped up hands over his body, washing away layer upon layer of grime. He somehow managed to keep a hand on you at all times, tired and vulnerable though he was, he was still Joel and he could never resist the call of your naked body, the feel of your soft skin under his calloused hands. His large hand started rested lightly on your hip while you dutifully cleaned his top half, reaching down to cup your cheek when you ducked to clean his legs and groin, your gentle ministrations awakening his cock again. As you moved behind him he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together, leaving you to clean his back half and shampoo his hair one handed. You took note of every new scratch, cut and bruise, gently pressing your lips to each one, a long established ritual between the two of you each time one or the other returned from patrol. A gentle welcome home to contrast the harsh realities of being outside the safety of Jackson’s walls.

With Joel now clean you hastily washed yourself, it was a measure of Joel’s current energy levels that he did not immediately swat your hands away and take over the task himself, contenting himself with returning his hand to your hip and admiring your soapy body until you were done. Leading him carefully out of the shower you did your best to dry you both off before heading to the bedroom. “Are you hungry, I can go and make you something?”

“Just need to sleep, will you stay with me baby?”

“You really need to ask? Gona be stuck to you like glue for the foreseeable, you’re gona be sick to death of me.”

“No chance of that pretty girl, sounds like heaven to me.”

“Ha, I’ll remind you of that next time you try to take a piss in peace.”

“Ok well don’ be getting mad at me for getting piss all over the place cos your presence got my dick pointing at the ceiling.” You snickered at him and playfully swatted at his chest.

You clambered into the bed, pulling Joel in behind you and pulling the covers up over you both. He looped his arm over your waist, pulling you in tightly, your back flush with his chest. The feel of his erection pressed into your thigh, flooded you with arousal and you could feel yourself dripping for him, a feeling which intensified as you felt his big hand glide down your torso from your waist to your thigh, lifting it and hooking it over his leg.

“Joel,” you moaned, “you need to sleep.”

“I know baby, but I need to feel her, please, can I? Please?”

Your resolve crumbled quickly in the face of his pleading. “Ok baby, whatever you need.” At this point you’d give him anything he asked for. Not that you could typically bring yourself to deny him anything. Especially when you could feel your pussy throbbing in time with your heartbeat. You needed to feel him as much as he needed to feel you. You needed the comfort only he could offer.

Gripping his cock in his hands he ran the head gently through your folds before notching at your entrance and easing himself in slowly, deeper and deeper, bottoming out with a satisfied sigh. Your breathing and heartrate spiked at the stretch as you welcomed him into your body with a gentle moan. No matter how many times he fucked you, the initial breach was always slightly overwhelming, in the best possible way.

Joel pulled you back in tighter to him, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Perfect. She’s always so prefect for me, so warm and wet and tight,” he mumbled into your skin, moving his hand down between your legs to rub lazy circles on your clit as his cock nestled comfortably inside you, unmoving and leaving you feeling desperately full. As predicted after your time apart, within a minute you felt your orgasm hit you full force and wave after wave of pleasure ripped through you as you moaned and gasped in unison, your pussy clenching tight on Joel’s static cock.

He continued his gentle circling of your clit with practiced precision until the aftershocks waned. He released your leg from over the top of his and snuggled into you as sleep claimed you both, his hard cock sheathed to the hilt within you.

#joel miller #joel miller birthday celebration #established relationship

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moshieee · 5 months

Note

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

#god this is a lot anyways im off to the store now #mutuals #E #seal-berry #Rabid jumpscare #bun bun brother #dia fren #goop buddies #Floridian disadvantage #plushy slime #anxiety bunny buddy #Lilith my be-loathed?

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3mmetotter · 1 year

Text

Bakugou and Midoriya's Relationship Pre-main-cannon Analysis

Ok so I keep reading posts where people seem to think Bakugou has hard-core bullied Izuku for 10 straight years and Im here to squash that. So a kinda analysis of their relationship though the years based off what we know and all major shifts that I think happen based off cannon. As well as some inferred just based off how kids act at certain ages.

Relationship Timeline Guestimation:

This is my best guess on a timeline towards each other.

I would say the biggest guess in this is when the passive bullying actually started. Im guessing end of elementary and start of junior high just based off how kids usually are at that age (friendships shift, preteens try to be cool, purberty starts, ect.)

The biggest theme to their whole relationship is miscommunication so I labeled the timeline based off what an outside POV might label their relationship.

Preschool

Activity regular friends without Katsuki being a massive jerk. Before quirks and then Katsuki gets a big head ect. Most of that is covered extensively in flashbacks in the manga so Im gona gloss over this era.

Elementary

There's not a lot thats been shown directly at this time beyond what we've been shown in the manga (ie Izuku being nicknamed deku). So slightly inferred just based off their personalities and overall age.

Theyre actively friends but Katsuki gets worst and worst through the years and more distant. Though they actually have interations. Plus both these boys are so stubborn that I think theyed stay friendsish through elementary.

So we know they interacted and were around each other:

They were both friends at this point or at least like playmates and I think would continue through a lot of elementary especially early elementary.

Cause its not like Katsuki was popular with most people unsurprisingly:

Even if Katsuki really didnt want it, I think Izuku was one of the only friends that actively showed he cared about him. Even if he really didn't want it.

But with Katsukis insecurities and his kinda warped view of Izuku their friendship was pretty off and on again. Basically at this point in their relationship they both think the other is a slightly jerky friend but still actively care for each other. They get on each others nerves but still consider the other a friend. Also cause theyre in elementary, kids usually just play with whoever is closest and available. Since they lived in the same neiborhood and both have no sibling they would probably be first available for each other, inspite of feelings or insecurities.

Eventually though Katsukis insecurities would win out. (Which to note those really only ever come up when comparisons can come into play or when Katsuki could be precieved as needing help). And Katsuki has the same self awareness emotionally as a cat whos head is stuck in a bag. So he projects those insecurities hard onto Izuku, instead of actual self reflection.

To sum up elementary:

Early Middle School

Turning point from my guess is when Izuku tries to stand up to Katsuki and I think this is where they officially end any friendship and the bullying towards Izuku officially starts. I interpret this scene as either later elementary school or early middle school based off the lankyness of everybody:

So middle of middle school and note that Izuku isnt as actively freaked out by Katsuki approaching. So Katsuki after whenever he beat-up Izuku essentially reaffirm to himself that Izuku cant be a threat, and that he is still the best. Thus calm Katsuki at the start of Middle School. Still a jerk whenever he sees Izuku but doesnt seem to feel the need to actually seek him out. Mostly just dismissive belittling.

Plus no full on Baku-rage directed at Izuku:

Of course as anything hero related starts to come up and Izuku ends up doing his normal thing. Katsuki, like always, gets triggered cause Izuku hits every insecuritie he has.

Turning point happens when Katsuki feels threatened by Izuku again:

Thus Baku-rage is officially engaged! And series starts!

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mrsarnasdelicious · 10 months

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A Very Fedaravicius Christmas - Day 4 (belated)

Bassist! Sihtric

"We're going to kick some ass out there." Sihtric says while he winds tinsel around the shoulder strap of his bass. "You're going to absolutely kill it." You agree. Sihtric ties off the tinsel and hangs a small bauble from his gauge. "Quicky for good luck, though." He suggests. He puts his bass aside and grabs you by the hips to yank you into his lap.

"You're so needy." You cup his cheeks with your hands and draw him in for a kiss. Sihtric does not protest. He simply kisses you back.

You pull open his belt. His cock is already straining in his boxers. "Needy, needy boy." You growl, pulling his boxers down as well. His cock slaps against his abs. "Gona suck me off, or ride me right away?" He asks. "What would you like?" You ask. Sihtric peers at his watch. "We have like 15 minutes, just ride me." He replies. You nod and ruck up your skirt, crawling into his lap.

"Get me wet." You tell him.

Sihtric reaches between your legs, rubbing at your clit. You moan, slowly rocking into his touch. He pushes a finger into you, fucking you slowly on one digit. You moan, trying to keep it down. But he fucks you so good. He knows exactly how to touch you. "You are so wet for me, already." Sihtric growls. "So fuck me." You reply. Sihtric smirks and pushes a second finger into you. "OOh fuck." You moan, slightly too loud. "Should I put my hand over your mouth?" Sihtric asks boyishly. "That may be a good idea." You agree.

Sihtric withdraws his fingers from your wet core. "Sit on my dick first." He grins.

You line him up and sink down on him. He groans loudly. "Now that is good luck." He grabs you by the hips and thrusts up into you.

#sihtric #sihtric x reader #sihtric kjartansson #arnas fedaravicius #the last kingdom #tlk #smut under the cut

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corrodedcoughin · 2 years

Note

Hi dear

Idea

Eddie and Steve secretly dating and actually managing to pull it off (except for Robin who was never gona not know) until Steve let's it slip that he has a date and it's their 2 month anniversary and the kids snap into gear and call an emergency meeting dragging the older kids into it as well except for Steve because " they've been dating two month we need to make sure she knows how important Steve is so we're going to organize our shovel talk" and we'll these children are very creative and Nancy is terrifying with her shotgun. Robin takes great amusement in watching eddie get progressively paler

Then the kids (dustin) confront Steve about it and he agrees that the party can meet his partner if they agree to it.

Eddie agrees despite his fear. And the party is shocked expect Robin who's laughing her ass off

Dustin goes " Great we don't even have to plan a shovel talk you already heard what will happen if you break his heart"

I just think it would be funny

Hopefully you get this one my asks haven't been sending

-✏️

Hello hello!

Of COURSE Robin was going to know, theres no way Steve can keep a secret from her and if he DID he’d crumble as soon as she got suspicious and confess everything to her while they have a ‘wine night’ (steve is a chardonnay robin in a sauvignon blanc)

Organised shovel talk’ I love it!!!! They’d be so ferocious about it!!! All of them wanting to be the most threatening and only Max and Nancy are able to pull it off. Max would just stare daggers and that would be enough. Dustin and Lucas would try to come up with convoluted plans but they get more unbelievable as they get more imaginative. Mike not saying anything but Eddie sees him nod when Nancy is talking. But the most fiery is Erica, Erica takes no prisoners, she doesn’t say what she’d do but her and Steve? They are on the same level, they have their cutting statements with no filter, one toe out of line and Erica is taking NAMES.

Eddie’s sweat patches are obscene by the end and tries not to nervous laugh. He thought it would be funny, heart warming almost, to see everyone put out their love for Steve. Except now he’s scared because what if he does fuck up? What if he does hurt steve? He’ll lose Steve AND everyone he’s grown to love. Don’t get him wrong he’ll still have his corroded coffin boys but he doesn’t want to take away from his life now that it’s been enriched this much. Doesn’t know if he can face the thought of not being surrounded by all these people. If he thought he was determined to never hurt Steve before he’s resolute about it now.

The big reveal happens and it’s funny, it’s shocking, it’s well received and everyone carries on like nothing happened. Except Eddies doesn’t stop worrying, it’s always in the back of his head, on edge that he’s going to break Steve’s heart and it’ll be the end of both of them.

Steve knows something is up with his boyfriend. He’s been treating him like he’s made of porcelain and that just isn’t like him. Eddie is loud and excitable and intense and impossible to keep contained, he shouldn’t be wary of his movements, second guessing himself at every turn.

Steve and Eddie are making out on the couch, finding time between their ridiculous schedules of school, work, practice and countless other obligations. It’s good, don’t get steve wrong, but it’s not Eddie. It’s careful and Eddie is barely touching him, almost like he’s scared he’ll crush steve. If he isn’t kissing steve like a virginal princess he’s looking at him with haunted eyes and skittering around him like a kicked puppy. Steve can’t take it any more, it’s not Him. So he decides to push back.

It starts with actually pushing Eddie, they are at Steve’s house and he tries to play fight, jump on Eddie, just anything really but eddie just goes with it. No fight back, acquiesces to Steve’s demands. So the next thing he tries is winding eddie up, making clearly wrong statements about black Sabbath, dio, iron maiden, DND, lord of the rings, ANYTHING. But Eddie just keeps quiet and changes the subject. Its infuriating, its like the light in him has gone out.

When they are making out he tries Eddie’s old tricks, tries biting, rough but gentle hands, backing up against walls but there’s no consequences and Steve misses it. He misses it, Eddie, so much that he lets Eddie go with a sigh and stalks off to the kitchen. Eddie follow behind, terrified now that his worst nightmare has happened, he’s upset Steve, he’s disappointed him, he’s hurt him. He doesn’t know how to ask, tries to, but before he can get a word out Steve is talking

‘Have I done something? Or not done something? Is this you trying to get me uninterested so that I break up with you because you are too scared to break up with me? Oh poor steve, can’t let him get dumped again. I know, I’ll let him do it, let him keep some dignity. Well you know what Eddie? That’s fucking shit. Just do it and be over with it.’

Eddie is floundering, mouth open and speechless, he watches Steve turn his back to him, raise his hands up to his face, clearly wiping tears away and that’s it. Eddie can’t hold back any more, he has tried to keep steve safe and in the process has only made things worse. He listened to his stupid brain when he should have listened to his heart.

‘No, no fuck this. No. Nope!’ He’s up close to Steve now and turns him around, keeps his hands on his shoulders and searches in Steve’s eyes. Tear filled eyes because of Eddie, because Eddie got scared.

‘Steve, listen, I fucked up. I did. I’m not leaving you, I’m never leaving you. I got too in my head. Too in my own fucking head! Can you believe that? Honestly though you should have heard them, dude they started talking about you and what they’d do for you, what they’d do to anyone who hurt you. And it wasn’t that. Nah, only Nance red and Applejack were serious but man, it fucked with my head! What if I did hurt you? You’ think I could deal with that? And of course it would be my fault! You think I don’t know that? But hearing it? Fuck!’

Steve watches as Eddie rambles on with a vice like grip on his shoulders, eyes searching all over Steve’s face then dotting around the room. He just wants them to be okay. If he has nothing else, he wants them to make it. He wants last with Eddie, can’t see his future any other way. Steve is trying to piece together what exactly Eddie means when he finally gets it and there it is. There’s the reason Eddie wasn’t Eddie anymore. He does the only thing he can think of, puts his hands on either side of eddies face and pulls him in for a quick kiss on the lips and then smooshes his face so he can’t talk anymore

‘Eddie, shut up. You acting like this hurt me, not you being you. Just be you and we’ll be good, I swear. IF and I mean IF something happens then we talk about it. Like people, y’know? Come on man, at least let me try to be in a healthy relationship?’ He sniffs, remanats of his crying evident in his voice, thick with emotion, but theres a smile on his face, a hope of a laugh wanting to come out if Eddie will let it.

Eddie, with his face squashed between Steve’s hands, nods. He grabs Steve’s hands and kisses his palms before pulling him in close to kiss him like he used to, like he wants to, the way Steve has missed for too long.

Steve pulls back minimally, just enough to huff out

‘so, bunch of kids scared you shitless and forced you into a breakdown, Munson? Expected more of a cult leader’

Eddie peppers kisses over Steve’s face

‘not a bunch of kids sweetheart, you know applejack is the only one with murder in her heart.’

Steve laughs and rests his forehead against Eddies, happy to be back in familiar territory

#dude I’m sorry I don’t know WHERE I was going with this #I LOVE your idea though!!! so HUGELY #I was planning funny but I was writing and it is not funny but there’s a face smoosh?#if I had more time I’d flesh this out properly #thank you for sending!!!!#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #ask #anon #✏️

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kingdom0fcards · 1 year

Note

why is he arching his back like that,,,, it makes me feel things 🥴

bro if he does it on stage he DEFINITELY does it behind the curtains

like man will SHAKE and ARCH his back with even the slightest of touches

like lay on top of him, draw your fingers through his chest and sides and hes arching and squirming and moving his hips under yours to try and get some friction bc he needs it so bad hes gona explode if you dont touch his dick

he needs fucking holding down like he'll squirm so much during sex it's annoying so just give him the "if you move one more time im afraid you wont cum for the rest of the night" BUT HE CANT HELP IT WHEN YOUR HAND FEELS SO GOOD AROUND HIM!

so yeah he was sobbing when you finally let him cum 🤭

do u remember when i told u im not confident enough to send nsfw shit? forget about that, dude has me feeling things -🍄

Oh my god 🧍‍♂️

I swear this mf would be whimpering at any little touch of you get him worked up enough. Like sometimes he gotta get tied down bc he's that worked up and just needs something

He complains about it every time he gets tied up bc, "I wasn't moving that much!"

He was in fact moving that much.

When he's tied he gets teased more, like little touched here and there can and will make it 10x worse. Like he needs to cum now or he'll die

He's just like, "I'm sorry okay, i-i won't move again! Just please touch me, please!"

His begging is just so pretty, he starts to cry in the middle of it and shit ohhhhh he's so pretty

He begs for more or he wants it faster, but it only makes it worse

"no more begging, I won't let you cum if you keep doing that"

He starts sobbing honestly, begging more and more. So it takes awhile for him to be allowed to cum :)

Ty mushie anon I like this a lot, I love when he's pathetic!!!

#bad omens fic #noah sebastian #rpf #noah sebastian headcanons #noah talks ig

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macolethings · 4 months

Text

Sonraun Rein Kiken Snippet

Apologies to followers of my Clexa story, "Sonraun." I'm about a month away from having a baby and the tiredness of both my brain and body have finally affected the posting of a new chapter. Only two small sections to write before I do my own editing and have it beta checked, so hopefully it will be out within the next few days!

In the mean time, here is a snippet from the upcoming Chapter 7 (untitled so far). It hasn't been edited, but I want to get something out to you all. Pretty sure there is another small trope in here...

- - - ∞ - - -

An eight-foot wall and wrought iron gate separated the common grounds of the tower to Lexa’s training grounds. Lexa fished a key from around her neck, unlocking the gate, and allowing them both entrance. Clarke took in her surroundings. The space was mainly grass, most of it having browned with the winter cold. Workout equipment was placed around the perimeter, leaving a large space in the middle for sparring. Clarke could find similarities in the equipment here to that of the ark thanks to her many days trailing her mother while she walked through physical therapy workouts for her patients. There was a bench with weights, bars for pullups, some weights from the old world, and a punching bag.

“How often do you come here?” Clarke asked.

“It depends on what training I want to do that day. I come here to build my strength a few times a week, spar with Kensie, or to just practice on my own. The other days I like to run, or fight with the gona (warriors) at the training grounds.”

After taking time to fully take in all the equipment, Lexa started Clarke off with some warmup movements to get “the blood flowing and muscles lose.” Apparently, Lexa’s warmup was an actual workout for the non-athletic types such as herself. While Lexa acted no different than they had after walking down to the space, Clarke was a different story. Her breath was harsh and fast, her body already quite warm, with flushed cheeks to prove it.

“First, we will go over assorted defensive moves to get out the most common ways someone may try to take you. We will practice each several times, but I want to focus on introducing them all today, and we can move to memorizing next time.”

Lexa started simple with wrist and arm grabs, explaining to Clarke that the thumb is a weak point and if she turned up towards her attacker’s thumb, they would not be able keep their hold on her. The two went back and forth, Clarke practicing to free herself from Lexa’s hold, and attempting to keep hold of Lexa in different places to view how she handled the different holds.

Next, Lexa turned Clarke’s attention on what to do if she’s grabbed from behind. Lexa clamped both of Clarke’s arms to her own side with one arm and wrapped the other around her throat. Unfortunately for Clarke, her body was not ready to have Lexa wrapped so closely around her, and was most definitely not ready for Lexa’s whispered instruction on how to remove herself from the precarious situation. Surely, the lower octave whispers Lexa was using weren’t necessary.

Lexa chucked. “Clarke? Did you hear me?”

She cleared her throat as best she could before muttering a simple “no,” not daring to turn her face towards Lexa when they were this close.

Fortunately, Lexa separated her body from Clarkes before discussing, again, how to use her opponents’ weak spots to break free or cause enough pain to bring attention to herself and her attacker. It took a few more attempts before Clarke understood the mechanics of the moves, but she blamed that on Lexa and the fogginess that had taken over her mind. Especially since she was sure the Commander was doing it on purpose.

#clexa #clexa fic #sonraun #snippet #late for an update #life happens so thank you for sticking with me

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 6 months

Note

this girl one time wanted to have sex with me and when i asked to use a condom she laughed it off and said it wasnt cool, and began to chip away at my boundary until i gave her what she wanted. she kept trying to get me to do things and i would say no, and she would continue asking anyway. in bed she said something like “you said you would” and that legitimately scared me, because it seemed like she was just blatantly lying to my face, or just forgot. then she called herself a succubus (A DEMON) and my gut screamed at me to be careful around her. sorry this may be TMI, but im anon so whatever, she said i could nut in her, which is the complete opposite of my original boundary. she was so sweet otherwise and communicated really good. except for when i texted her my concerns about being manipulated. she just became really defensive. im really happy im not “under her spell” anymore. i dont know what she was trying to do, but she could have hurt me really bad

its not tmi, its ok, you know me :p <3.. im sorry your boundaries were disrespected :( ill put my answer under read more cus its probly gona be long , this message had me contemplating some things..

IMO : sex is so tricky its been a struggle my whole life to understand how i feel about it & where my boundaries lie + allowing myself to express them so i understand the struggle u present here altho it's a different perspective.. some people use sex as a vehicle to gain power over others, by way of luring their partner into a state of vulnerability, i dont think that's something demonic necessarily i think it's usually more surface level than that. however

you do see a huge rise in the amount of ppl kind of, trying to personify the succubus nowadays? ppl have always wanted to be sexy but it's like different than the way ppl wanted to be sexy when i was younger. it got rly mainstream to have kind of a demon aesthetic if that makes sense? when i was younger this stuff was reserved for the relentlessly bullied & punished Goth and Emo kids.

but ok when i worked at spencers gifts in 2021/22 they had all these shirts of anime succubus girls getting choked and in bondage n shit, and these shirts were their best sellers they were outselling most the band tees and franchises like naruto.. and im telling youuu it was like, the youngest girls always buying these shirts, it made me so uncomfortable!! sometimes i would walk away and get my coworker to ring them up cus i was like nah im not selling a child that shit...but it really made me think like wow if i was in 7th grade and wore this shit to school it wou;dve been like wearing a giant KICK MY ASS!!!! target on my back but it's like, a popular thing rn.

and im not saying the bullying should return ofc, not the point. but it lead me down the string of thought wondering why this stuff is being pushed into the mainstream so heavily. sex sells i guess $$$ but yeah i think right now it's especially common to refer to yourself as a succubus if you're trying to feel a sense of power as a woman. because as a woman there are very few ways to gain power other than using sex. and many people want power! but i dont think most of them are demonic. just lost..

still its good u followed ur instinct to stay away from that girl because it is really cruel to manipulate someone in a moment where they've trusted you enough to be close to them like that.

yeah i think its rly rare for someone to be in some true demonic possession shit but i feel there can be dark things that linger *around* people who have weak spiritual armor and sort of, feast off their energy & create misfortunes around the person that generate bad energy for it to feed off of. but i dont think they have too much control over your actions like i would imagine for someone who's truly possessed. i feel a lot of ppl have these sort of ambient malignant attachments especially if they keep a lot of dark imagery & symbols around thinking it's just an aesthetic.

thas just my thoughts....really bored tonite so im typing a lot.... i love sex i think it can be so beautiful and restoring, it helps me feel so much happier in life to have good sex regularly i dont think sex or sexiness is evil. i just think its easy for ppl w bad intentions to turn it into this whole twisted ass mind game when it shld rly b so simple and natural and a loving connection that sets u free......be safe out there anon be discerning! protect you heart..<3

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1-800-local-slut · 1 year

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With a Heavy Heart- Chapter 1

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃ℊ𝓈： 𝓈𝓉ℯ𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃ℊ， 𝓋𝒾ℴ𝓁ℯ𝓃𝒸ℯ 𝒯𝒲： 𝒥*𝒽𝓃 𝒲𝒾𝓃𝒸****ℯ𝓇， 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓈ℯ （𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝓃ℯℊ𝓁ℯ𝒸𝓉， 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹 𝒶𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓂ℯ𝓃𝓉）, 𝒶𝓃ℊ𝓈𝓉

Word Count- 1.9k

April 6th, 1988

Dear diary- my grandpa gave me this the last time we saw him. He said i’m a smart lady so its important for me to use the smarts. I don’t know, my mom is making me write this from the back of the van. She cheks, ceks, checks it when I’m done. She says its time for me to start school. I want to, so I can have freinds friends again but she says we have a mission. Like super spys! I want to be a spy like my mom. She says I stil have to do something when she’s busy. She goes around helping people who need it. I asked to go to school but she said this was more important and she could do more for me than school. Mom is super smart, so she’s probably right. I like not being in school sometimes. I can hangout with mom, we can go shopping and buy books. And we have a lot of fun together. She told me were gona go meet someone who has friends for me. I hope their nice. I’ll write more tomorow.

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“Vivica!”

Dean looked up from twirling his crayon in between his fingers at his dads sudden call. They were at a restaurant in New Orleans, dressed in their coolest clothing to help keep them from the heat. Sam was next to him in the booth, dragging a small finger across the table with weirdly intense focus. He had on a gray bucket hat to try to keep his hair out of his eyes but it wasn’t working. Pulling the hat off of his little brother, Dean stuffed the strands of brown hair on top of Sam’s head and quickly placed the hat back on. A few wayward strands still escaped and Dean frowned but shrugged it off. At least Sammy could see better.

Next to him, his dad was pulling the woman into a handshake. They exchanged a few words Dean wasn’t particularly worried about. Glancing behind the dark skinned woman he saw a little girl. Hair combed into two large puffs on her head with small butterfly clips pressed into her head. She was chewing on her thumb and looking down at a stain on the floor. She wore a t-shirt with a big duck on it eating bread and a pair of dark blue shorts. Paint stained her t-shirt and her puffy cheeks.

Dean stayed silent, he didn’t need to speak. Not yet, perhaps not at all if no one said anything to him. He glanced out the window and looked at the cars pulling in and out of the parking lot. He thought. Dean thought a lot for a boy his age. He thought about cars, and girls, and trucks, and his mom.

For a moment he thought about sitting in the car with his family. His mom and dad are sitting in the front seat and the windows of the car are down. They’d be talking normally, maybe about the weather or whatever adults talked about. He’d be in the back, Sam would be sitting down right next to him strapped in his seat. Dean would probably be playing with some random toy while the wind blew through his brown hair and Sam stuffed food in his cheeks. Dean just wanted to see his little brother eat without being hungry for a while. Maybe goldfish or something.

Sam continued his strange fascination with the table as John tapped Dean’s shoulder. He looked up and saw his father motioning for him to grab Sam. With a small nod he nudged Sam’s shoulder.

“Sammy, get up.” Dean whispered to him. Sam wordlessly looked at him, then at his dad, Vivica and the other child. Then his big green eyes met Dean’s as if to ask if these people were okay. Dean slightly nodded in reassurance.

The two boys clambered out of their seats to stand next to their father, Dean directly across the girl. She looked at him with curious eyes and Dean shot her a smile. John chuckled at this and Dean took it as a small win. His dad always found it funny when Dean would talk to girls, and it was better than his fathers usually aloofness or absence.

“Vivica, these are my boys, Sam and Dean.” His father introduced the boys to this woman. Dean glanced up at her, her hair was in very small braids cascading down her shoulders and a smile that radiated kindness.

“Come here baby. This is my daughter.” When calling for her daughter though, she now had a broad grin that radiated pride and joy. The girl with large puffs in her hair shot a dazzling smile at Dean. She batted her eyelashes at him. Vivica stated her daughter's name and the young girl extended the hand she hadn’t been chewing on to him. Dean took it tenderly and shook it back.

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March 5th, 1993

Dear diary- I get to see Dean and Sam again. It’s been three months since my mom and his dad last saw each other. It’s been two months since Dean and I saw each other in New York. I’m 12 now, and Dean is 14 I think. If I did the math right. I wonder how Sam is doing, it’s been a while since I heard from him. The last time I talked to either of them was on a pay phone three weeks ago. I hope everything is okay with them. Right now we’re on our way to meet up with them in their motel room in Rhode Island. I hate Rhode Island. Moms being an asshole again. Ever since I convinced her to let me start school, and I placed two grades higher she’s been pissy. I start ninth grade this September. She promised when I start school, we’ll only go out of state on the weekends. I bet she’ll just leave me at whatever apartment we live in. Maybe she’s going through menopause. We had a fight, I don’t know what her damage is. She started yelling something at me about oversleeping. We live in a van like the Mystery Machine and her issue is that I oversleep on one Saturday when we don’t have a hunt? Please. All she had to do was drive the car with me in the back. I think today when I see Dean and Sam, I’ll see if I have enough money for us to go grab something to eat. Sometimes, I hate that I can never get alone time with Dean. I don’t see him often, and it’s not like he can climb in through my bedroom window. It’s a one and done shot each time we see each other. Maybe it can be like last time when we were both in New York and we snuck out and took the subway to go get food. I still remember how we almost didn’t make it back to our motel but we did. If mom found out she’d beat my ass. I still have the necklace he gave me, he has a good eye. It looks good with most of my clothes. One perk of being an only child on the road with my mom is that I get new clothes like all the time. Anyways, I told him that he picked the necklace perfectly, and he told me the necklace wasn’t more perfect than I was. I told him he was funny. I’ll write more tomorrow.

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“Just calm down!” Dean sighed exasperatedly. His dad was fighting with Sammy again. There was literally always something for them to fight over. This new fight was over Sam finding out he was being pulled out of another school. He was already behind a year and now he was moving across the country again. Vivica and her daughter were coming in today. They’d be here in about an hour and a half and all Dean wanted to do was try to look and smell his best.

It had been two months since his rendezvous with his favorite girl. Two months since his heart felt a heavy pang when she twirled around on a pole on the subway. Her hair flew freely, and he wanted to capture her smile and ingrain it in his memory. Just the knowledge that she was a mere few miles away made that heavy weight (the one that made Dean’s heart feel like it was a stuttering) return. Now he sat on the motel bed waiting to take a shower if only his father wasn’t blocking the door.

“Why can’t we just wait for the school year to end?!” Sam shouted in his usual defiance. Dean usually didn’t care when they’d move schools. He was fine leaving his usual trail of broken hearts behind him. He didn’t care as long as they didn’t have to fly anywhere.

“I have a lead, we’re going. End of discussion.” John barked as he grabbed his jacket and his keys and began to storm towards the door. Dean frowned deeply, to the point of it slightly hurting his face.

“You can’t just say end of discussion and that’s the end, I want to at least finish 5th grade!” Sam followed after him as Dean rolled his green eyes as far as they could go into the back of his skull as he let out a soft sigh. If his dad left he could say goodbye to running off with his lady. He had a really nice cafe he wanted to take her to as well.

“Look, guys just knock it off. Dad, Vivica will be here soon. At least be here when she comes.” He pleaded with his father and brother. Now there was a different weight on Dean. A heavier one, one that wasn’t the happy feeling he got in his chest around her. No, this one was scary. Like a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into hopelessness that his family would never know peace. The two scoffed and Sam rolled his eyes before storming off to the other side of the room. He grabbed a heavy book from his duffle bag, his walkman and plopped down on the floor behind his bed. John also rolled his eyes and threw his keys down. Dean sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, and prayed that the weight would go away. Or maybe his dad and Sam would work it out. Or Sam would cease the arguing just for a moment's peace. It was like his heart was being pulled down, squeezing in his chest. If John left again right now, he would be alone with Sam again. Would he have money to feed him? Sure, Vivica was coming but she had her own child to worry about. What if John left and just didn’t come back this time? John’s eyes met Dean’s, and Dean felt his breath stop. His thoughts stopped for a minute, and Dean could only hope his dad would at least stay long enough for another adult to come.

“I’ll be back in 30.” With a grunt Dean sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Great. Now he had to figure out if his dad would really be back in 30 minutes or 30 hours. The door slammed and Dean flinched. He felt worn out, standing in the tense room which had a few moments ago been a war zone. Lifting his shoulders in a tense shrug he took a deep breath, his hands held up in front of him. He let out a deep irritated breath.

“I’m taking a shower.” Was all he said, leaving Sam in the room alone. Now more than anything, Dean wanted at least 15 minutes to himself. As he went into the bathroom, he heard Sam sniffle and wipe his nose with his shirt.

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That’s a wrap on Chapter 1! The series master list will be posted soon. This won the poll for what I should post first, and I’m very excited to post this! Thank you to everyone who voted in the poll as well. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Another thing, I’m sorry I’ve been MIA, I’ve been so busy lately. I’m gonna do better because I really love writing and reviving feedback on something I just do as a hobby. Thanks so much for reading!

#x reader #black reader #fem reader #x black reader #dean winchester #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #supernatural dean #supernatural #sam winchester #sam and dean #tw: John Winchester

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