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theresnosafeharbor4myships · 4 years

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Ichabbie ways of saying ‘I love you’

“Our fates are intertwined now. Running away isn't going to change that.”

“I do take comfort knowing that this strange road we find ourselves on can only be traveled together.”

“So if she dies in the dream...” "She dies. Period." "I see." *Ichabod marches over and drinks a concoction. "Crane!" .... "What are you thinking?" "Well, i'm coming with you now, so no point in discussing it."

“Believe me when I say that you belong in Sleepy Hollow. In the here and now.”

“You are home, Crane.”

“I look forward to you expanding my horizons further.”

“You know how important Crane is.” “To you?” “Yeah, to me.”

“Through these centuries, against the impossibility that we would find each other, we did. And I am most grateful for it.”

“Perhaps it would be easier if you left.” “There's no way. Too many people I never got a chance to say goodbye to. You are not gonna be one of them.”

“You were right. There's always another way.”

“Next time listen to me, okay? I can't go through that again.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I feel pretty alone sometimes too.” “Perhaps this is the sacrifice that witnesses must carry. all we really get is one another.”

“Your company holds the greatest value to me.”

*lifts glass in a toast* “To family.” “To finding family.”

“If using this map meant betraying your trust, that's something I cannot do.” *burns the map “For the world. For our friendship. You and I will choose our own destiny. We have free will. I choose to forge my fate with you.”

“When I remembered you, I saw this world for what it truly is.”

“I swear to you, for as long as I can draw breath--” “Our work is not done. You will come back for me. That I know.” *precious Ichabbie hug “Remember our bond. I'll come back for you.”

“I just...I don't think I would've made it without you, Crane.” “Nor I you, Lieutenant.”

“I promise you: I will return for you!”

*precious Ichabbie hug “Crane! You're alive.” “We are survivors, you and I.”

“Maybe you don't come back.” “And leave you here? No. Lieutenant, I do not accept good-bye.” “...we're fighting a war, crane. Coming back for me is a risk I cannot let you take.” “The Bible foretells two witnesses. You and I must remain together if there is any hope of victory. The only risk, Lieutenant, is in leaving you behind.” “No matter what I say, you're coming back, aren't you?” “I made a promise.”

“Hold fast, Abigail Mills. I'm on my way.”

“You never did tell me the full extent of your ordeal in that place.” “Truth is, it got to me. Everywhere I went, I felt it slowly clawing at my mind, my soul. You know what the worst part was? Seeing you.” “Must be why you beheaded me.” “That demon version of you appeared just when that place was about to break me. I'd never been so happy to see anyone in my life.”

“That's what scares me. My faith in you is my greatest weakness.” “That's what they want you to believe.”

“The only ones we can count on now are each other.”

“What matters now more than ever is that you and I stay true. Trust is the only currency with any value. All other forms are too easily counterfeited.”

“...but hear me, Grace Abigail Mills: it is not our fate for one of us to bury the other. We shall be victorious or defeated together.”

“I will be with you at every moment.”

“Our duty must be to one another before anything or anyone.”

“Of course I'm coming with you!”

“Be careful.” “You too.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. It is thru your eyes that I see myself most clearly.”

“I swear to you, his sacrifice will not be in vain.”

“No matter what obstacles we face, no matter how many disagreements we have, our bond cannot be broken.”

“Even in times of great peril, we could always rely on one another.”

“I'm glad I'm not in this alone.” “I echo that sentiment, Lieutenant.”

“We're partners. More than that, we're friends.”

“You knew I'd not survive without you.”

“No matter what the course of fate, and no matter how I get there, I look forward to experiencing your America. It will be a pleasure to make your acquaintance all over again, Miss Mills.”

“You know, Crane, you don't need some stone tablet to justify your place in the world. You belong here just as much as anyone else.”

“You were wrong when you said that Henry and Katrina's death meant that you were alone. You may not have family, but you are not alone.”

“Of course having you by my side is the greatest boon.”

“After you passed out, she showed up.” “Pandora? Did she harm you?”

“I'm most grateful, Lieutenant, that you and I have found one another once again.”

“We are a partnership of opposites, yet our affinity for one another bears the ripest of fruit.”

“You noted that I've been off my game of late. When I pledged my allegiance to this country in 1776, I had a very clear vision of what my future would hold. Nowhere in that vision did I imagine waking in the 21st century, and yet,,,more and more, I feel this desire to acculturate. But the idea of losing the archives, of losing my fight for citizenship for a country that I, in part, founded, the idea of losing you...to some wretched federal promotion to...I don't know, Dallas or Los Angeles or... Sometimes it seems as though the unbeatable enemy is the 21st century.” “Yeah, but the thing is, Crane, Joe, me, Jenny, we are the 21st century. And every day, we take you a step further in that direction. That is the unbeatable enemy beating itself. And we ain't goin' nowhere.”

“I'd like to think you and I have developed, over the years, Lieutenant.”

“With all respect to my fellow compatriot, Major Revere, your spirit and mine is made of far heartier stock. Hence our most impressive roster of victories. Tis because we care. Come what may.”

“You ready to fight some bad guys, Crane?” “Indeed.” “My man.”

“If the Lieutenant were here, she would say something tough yet encouraging. Of which I would wholeheartedly concur. She is very good at that.”

“This particular (monster) feeds off for desperation. The locator spell I cast must have brought it to the area. And it focused on me because of my... emotional state [from missing Abbie].”

“I have worked and fought alongside many people in my time. It was only recently that I truly understood what a partner is. What it means to have someone who makes you more than you are simply by being by your side. Truly your better half.”

“I will never cease my efforts to find the Lieutenant.”

“Our shared connection as witnesses means I am the Lieutenant's best chance.”

“Tis a relief to find you hale and hearty, Lieutenant. I knew you were alive.”

“Thank you, Crane, for never giving up on me.”

“I meant what I said before: you're always here. With me. Ever since we first met. There's no explaining it. Two people could not be any more different. But we work things out. Together.”

“Stay with me, Crane.”

“[He's] not alone. Not ever!”

“In the darkness. Lost. I heard your voice. I followed it.” “We made it.”

“You were my Wilson.”

“In all candor, Lieutenant, whilst you were away, I spent every waking hour endeavoring to bring you home. All other responsibilities fell by the wayside.”

“I'm trying really hard.” “And you will succeed. Just as you were by my side when I returned to Sleepy Hollow, so I shall be by yours.”

[Jenny to Crane] “You seem happier.” “Yes, I admit I do feel rather suffonsified. And your sister's mood appears to have taken a significant upturn of late.”

“I knew Crane was out there looking for me. I held on to that.”

“The supernatural has given you a lot of good too. It led you to Crane.”

“Lieutenant--” “Oh. Yes. I'm scared out of my mind of seeing that place again, and no, I'm not letting you go without me. Whatever you do, I do. That's the deal.” “Truth bomb if I ever heard one.”

“I prefer to focus on what we have, and I have a partner of the highest caliber.” “Better than Betsy Ross?” “Well, she was occasionally rather pushy. Prone to talking with a mouth full of food.” “George Washington?” “Well, now there was a great man. But a great man with legendary halitosis.” “I really beat those guys?” “Oh...handily.” “You...never waiver in your faith. In what we do. In me. And you know how rare that is, don’t you?” “When it concerns you and me, Lieutenant, there is no greater certainty.”

“I'm really going back there.” “Only this time you're not alone.”

#ichabbie #ichabbie moments #abbie x crane #abbie x ichabod #crane x abbie #ichabod x abbie #sleepy hollow #personal

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c-aureus · 3 years

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Ok, here’s a post I’ve been waiting to make: Why I’m worried about BotW2. Wall of text incoming. Now, I’m gonna preface this with a few things. Firstly, I waited to post this so that all of the immediate reactionary hype would die down a bit, and also so that I could contemplate on my thoughts for a while, before posting them. Secondly, this is not at all a criticism of the setting, or gameplay, both of which look incredible. However, for me at least, none of that was ever in doubt. Thirdly, I will freely admit that all of the forthcoming arguments are speculation. We do not yet know much of anything about the direction of the sequel, and I fully understand and admit that there is every chance that I could be completely wrong. In fact, I’d very much like for that to be the case. Alas, I am English, and cynicism is literally encoded into my DNA, so here’s a few things that I think are likely to happen, and why I’m so worried about them. My first point is kind of a big one, but honestly, it kinda sums my entire argument up: I’m worried that BotW2 is going to do everything it can to basically be a ‘soft reset’, regressing to the norm of BotW. What do I mean by this? Well. From a gameplay perspective, it will almost certainly use the time honoured Zelda tradition of resetting Link to 3 hearts and no powers at the beginning. Needless to say, I really do not want them to do this. From a story perspective, Link’s entire character arc in BotW was regaining the power he lost due to the Shrine of Resurrection. From a narrative perspective, I really do not want to see all of his growth and progress wiped away because ‘New Game lol’. Furthermore, on the topic of the Champions’ abilities... I honestly don’t think that any of them would just abandon him, however this argument goes 10x more for Mipha specifically. Mipha’s promise to Link in BotW was to ALWAYS heal him, and it is one of the most hauntingly beautiful things about her tragedy that she gets to fulfill her promise to him in death. Therefore, I simply cannot reconcile Mipha leaving Link (not sticking around to heal him) with her character. Because, BotW shows that her love and her devotion to Link are selfless, and absloute. She would NEVER renege on such a promise, even though Ganon was ‘defeated’. To do so is antithecal to her entire character. There’s also the matter of Link’s equipment. In a similar vein, I’d argue that much of Link’s equipment (including the Champions’ weapons and Zora Armour) hold enormous sentimental value to him, and if he is stripped of them for no good reason, then I will also be upset. Also, furthermore, BotW2 seems to be very strongly implying that Ganon was not ‘defeated’, which means that the Champions’ spirits cannot even be ‘at rest’, since surely their duty is not complete? Not that I think this should ever factor into Mipha’s personal motivation to continue healing Link, but whatever. What I fear is that there will be no mention nor presence of the Champions’ abilities, which... would really suck. Honestly, I’d even go so far as to say that it absolutely ruins Mipha’s character. Even if we’re being fooled and it’s not actually Ganon who is causing trouble (it does look pretty Malice-y, though...), I honestly, truly believe that they would not simply abandon Link. However, if it IS Ganon(dorf), then there is no excuse nor reason for their absence. This comes into my second point. I’m strongly suspecting that the plot of BotW2 is trying its absolute hardest to simply ‘reset the status quo’ that existed in BotW. By this, I mean that the trailers have already shown Ganon and implied him to be the villain, and Link and Zelda have been separated, presumably with Link having to rescue her. Again.

(On a side note, I do not believe that anyone truly believes that they’ve actually killed Zelda off, do they? I mean, come on. Her plot armour is thicker than the belt of a WW2 era dreadnought battleship. Which is a shame, tbh, becasuse it really prevents any kind of tension in the story, or interesting twists.) (On another side note, idk if I’ve actually seen anyone elaborate on how... depressing it is to have Ganon as the main villain AGAIN. The entirety of BotW was dedicated to defeating him, and many characters literally gave their lives to fight him, and now, after having been successful and defeated him, ‘lol he’s back again, lol.’ *Shrug*. I guess that it feels kinda cheap to me, along the lines of a last minute ‘oh wait, you didn’t REALLY beat him’, because they want to pad the game out more. Especially if there is no real consideration of this point from Link and Zelda’s pov: Namely, just how depressing it would be to lose everything to Ganon, finally defeat him, only to have him immediately return. At this point, I’d be lamenting on the unfairness that Ganon gets literally infinite chances to try again, but not all of his victims, which could be a really interesting psychological point of exploration, but I fear that the sequel will not make any effort to mention it. Hence my low-effort meme on the matter. ) So, basically, instead of giving us a new plot, in a new direction, with the consequences and events of the prequel fresh in mind and influencing character behaviour, we’re resetting the situation to how things were in BotW. Which... I’m extremely un-keen on. Since, it’s going to probably feel like a ‘we’ve already done this before’ kind of thing. A staleness, if you will. Again, I’d love to be proven wrong. However, what I suspect and fear is that we’re going to get this kind of situation, which I would really hate. The thing that I have been waiting for with the highest of anticipation was seeing how Link and Zelda would react to post-Calamity Hyrule, and how their failures and losses would impact them going forwards. I’m not going to give the Resurrection/Time Travel speech again, but I will mention it, since it is an absolutely valid goal, given the ‘rules’ by which the Zelda universe operates, and a valid response to the grief of losing characters that BotW/AoC establishes that they love. Again, I fear that the sequel will make no reference to this, which also feels like a massive disservice to the characters of the Champions. Also, it would be really unique, and not just the standard ‘defeat the Big Bad Evil Ganon’ that is every Zelda game. Ok, I really am done on that point here. It’s a topic for another rant, lol. TL;DR: I’m very, very worried that BotW2 will forgo narrative progression to simply reset the situation to how it was before, without any care for how that impacts the narrative. I mean, we saw how bad this ended up for the Star Wars sequels, so I think I have a right to be concerned... We know that this game grew out of being DLC for BotW. What I fear is that it will really end up looking like BotW DLC, rather than a sequel, from a narrative perspective. If anyone has any opinions or thoughts to add, then I’d love to hear them.

#long post #botw #botw2 #botw 2 #zelda #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #link #loz link #botw zelda #ganon #mipha

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creamypudding · 3 years

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Woeful WIP Wednesday

Hi! This is the start of my Woeful WIP Wednesday series of posts which will happen on Wednesdays, duh. And before anyone gets up at me about it not being Wednesday yet... just remember time zones exist in this world, and yeah, it is actually Wednesday.

Other things about the name... Most of these WIPs I'm happy with so it's not the actual stories that are woeful. It's the fact that they are still WIPs and not finished that is woeful to me, hence the name, yeah? Ok 😄

So with that out of the way...

I've gone through all my folders and found the various bits and pieces of writing I've begun and let slide or abandoned. My hope is that by letting them be free on Tumblr I might either A) remember that these stories exist, B) perhaps get a renewed appreciation and motivation to poke them, C) give myself permission to never look at them again.

Some of these WIPs I 100% mean to finish one day. Some I know I won't. Some I have actually finished but haven't polished completely or something's getting in the way of me doing a final pass so I don't consider them worthy of going onto my Ao3 account just yet but hopefully will one day.

The WIPs I'm gonna upload are also of various lengths. I have some completed chapters that are thousands of words long, I have some that are mere hundreds of words long and are slips of ideas I started to formulate.

I have 10 AkuRoku WIPs and 6 Zakkura ones. Each week I'll post one WIP and the pattern will be 2 AkuRoku WIPs followed by 1 Zakkura to mix things up a bit. I'll blab a bit about the WIP and post the full WIP under the cut.

If there is anything in particular people would like to know about the stories or the creative process in future posts please let me know and I’ll incorporate more information if people are interested in that sort of thing. If you give me direction I can follow through.

I hope you will enjoy these WIPs and I trust you'll judge them way less harshly than what I judge my own writing.

So anyway, kicking things off I have a very short and sweet AkuRoku WIP.

I started this in May 2019 and it's technically 'done' but I haven't posted it because it's not done to my specific level of 'done-ness'. All it needs is a little polish. A little editing here and there. Fixing the grammatical and spelling errors, and fleshing it out in a few spots perhaps.

It's the 'fleshing out' bit that hasn't happened and that's truly stopping me from considering this a finished product.

This story is called ‘10 ways to fall in love’ but I never came up with 10 scenarios which I suspect is why this story will never be finished. I could change the name of it and if I ever post it I will change the name of it. In fact, most of the WIPs I post would have different names if they ever do go up on Ao3.

But going back to this specific WIP— it is a canon story spanning Days, KH2, KH3, and after, which is maybe the biggest culprit in regards to why I never finished this story. I don’t do well with canon-based story telling. It’s too much pressure to get everything canon-compliant. Do people ask for things to be right? Probably not so much, but my brain is very hyperfocused on getting things right, which is a huge road block to my creativity and the reason why I prefer AUs.

I don't have much else to say about this story but if you enjoy this, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know.

If others are passionate about these stories it might make me passionate about them again. But who knows.

Rated G

Word count - 951

10 ways to fall in love

What do you call it?

This feeling I have?

Love?

No. Too strong, or not strong enough

A name

A special name

Your name

It was always your name

That made me feel like I had a heart

They didn’t have a name for it. They didn’t even know if what they felt was real because how could a Nobody feel anything. For Axel it was just a ghost of a memory of his old life. For Roxas it was an endless source of confusion because these strange sensations fluttered in his body all the time when he was around Axel. It was incredibly dull at first but grew exponentially bigger with the passing days.

He couldn’t reconcile that even the most tedious missions were made fun when they were around each other - though he shouldn’t be able to have fun without a heart. What were any of the experiences that ever happened between them, without a heart? They felt nothing. They were Nobodies. They couldn't be anything other than empty husks.

That had always been the greatest lie which had been told to them, which they chose to believe, until it became impossible, though the denial sat rife in the way they denied their joy, sadness, and anger. But the strongest denial flowed from the warmth and nameless affections that fluttered in the chest and stomach when they were together. Such a thing was most unbelievable of all and merely a figment of the imagination - a vestige of when they were Somebodies, a quiet echo in a vast nothingness of their actual existence. Even for Roxas, with his half-formed ideas of his Somebodies life.

But none of these things mattered because Roxas disappeared and Axel died.

"He made me feel like I had a heart." A quiet whisper of a thought, made real and said aloud finally crumbled the paper-thin veneer which Axel had clung too, all too late to do anything about.

And he is reborn, and now knows better. Lea knows better. He understands his returned heart which aches and bleeds broken and shattered even as it is physically whole inside himself, pumping blood. His soul has gone, reappearing for fleeting moments when he sees Sora get a certain look in his eyes, or uses a turn of phrase. A spark exists and it jolts Lea every time closer to awareness - closer to a name.

And then he is in that most miserable of places, fighting a war that might never be won, but he must try because the promise of what lies ahead if he does win is worth every risk. He fights for his friends, present and gone, and then out of almost nowhere Lea's heart is returned and whole and stronger than ever before, and his memories are back, and he holds the two people most dear to him. He cannot lose them again and does everything in his power to protect them both, and it is a safe feeling because it stops him from thinking too hard or feeling too strongly the flutters and warmth, and the soothing in his heart.

But he feels it all again, and let's himself be overcome by it as the never-setting sun of Twilight Town is observed with his most favorite people in the whole wide world sitting next to him.

He scooches a little closer, seeking the warmth and reassurance of Roxas next to him. The tinkling laugh builds his own and drips deep down into his body and soul to become the best sound he's always known to miss.

Happiness engulfs him. But it is not the word he looks for when he sees Roxas walking, talking, laughing, grumbling, and eating ice cream. It is so much bigger and all-encompassing than this miniscule word for a feeling..

"I never stopped wanting you back. I never stopped fighting to get you back," he confesses in the evening on Destiny Island, during a rare moment alone on this summer vacation full of reunions and happy tidings.

"I know. I saw, I heard."

"You did?"

Roxas nods and swings his legs as they dangle off the pier the both of them at sitting on.

It warms Lea’s heart to know Roxas was never far away. “I think I felt you – there in Sora. When he got angry and frustrated.”

Roxas laughs. “I was always angry and frustrated in Sora. Everything felt so warm and fluffy inside of there.”

“Realy? Why would that make you angry?”

“Because it’s like eating nothing but honey – you get sick of it,” Roxas shakes his head, “But it’s worse because someone else is force-feeding it to you.”

"It's ok. Just seeing you – knowing you were there wanting to get me back was enough." Roxas leans, Lea receives and the feels which are always right there, in the middle of his chest ignite and burn so bright.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to help you."

Lea hugs him tight, almost too tight. Roxas writhes against his arms and just as Lea makes to let go Roxas gets his own arms around Lea and squeezed him, robbing him of his breath for a few seconds, but Lea feels he could happily die in Roxas' arms and savors the crush.

They both end up laughing against each other, inhaling deep breaths, rubbing their cheeks against each other and leaning their foreheads together.

Everything they ever felt for each other is still there, but stronger, because they have hearts and acceptance of their reality.

"Axel," Roxas' breath tickles Lea's lips. He doesn't care to correct Roxas. Roxas could call him a heartless and he wouldn't care because Roxas is back and with him.

"I don't want you to ever disappear again," Lea murmurs.

"I don't want you to ever suffer again," Roxas apologizes.

Lea cups Roxas' cheek, which is so soft and warm. "I never will as long as you're with me."

#woeful wip wednesday #akuroku #akrk #cream pudding writes #wip #probably mostly finished

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diosefm · 3 years

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FROM THE DESK OF DIOSE VALEY II

when: all of these letters were written during the dawn of day two of the train hijack where: written in her train car, all letters were left on people’s rooms in the morning of day two. for those in train one, letters should be delivered the next time everyone sees each other triggers: mentions of death, threats of violence, paranoia mentions: cabil, mommy pista, @pista-clearmark , @givcnup , @cinnc, @swannscngs , @blythefm , @sinksand & tiberius who is still dead

CABIL,

I know that after your conversation you probably do not wish to hear of me again, and I understand. After everything that has happened and what has been done to you, I don’t think that us Capitol people really deserve people’s pity. I don’t intend to ask you for that, nor do I want to ask for your forgiveness. I just needed to write you this and thank you for not coddling me.

I deserved it. And not because I want to victimize myself. I’ve never been a victim, more like a victimizer. I am seeing that now. It’s almost astounding what you can realize when those you have hurt have the opportunity to tell you what they really think about you in your face. And you might have not done that outright, but your message was very clear to me.

I won’t bore you with my inner conflicts. I am writing this because Pista mentioned something to me, something about you having someone waiting for you back home. And again, I know that this really isn’t any of my business but this is something I really want to do and would be honored if you say yes.

In the event that you were to marry your girlfriend, I would love to pay for everything and offer my services as a designer. You don’t have to say yes. All I ask is that you keep this letter and if one day you are able to forgive me, my offer will still stand.

Best wishes, Diose Valey.

HELENA,

I apologize for subjecting you to this. I can only imagine how awkward it must be to receive a letter from a complete stranger, especially one that is so deeply personal and filled with apologies.

But, I feel the need to apologize for putting your son in danger. It was easy for me to just involve Pista because I vaguely knew of him and his knowledge of trains and that was the only thing that mattered to me. It wasn’t until I saw the way you looked at him that something stirred inside of me. It made me think of my own mother, made me wonder if she had ever looked at me with such love and devotion. I’m scared of finding the answer.

I don’t want to talk about you. My intention is to tell you how sorry I am that I involved Pista in my plans. They worked, yes, but we were lucky. No, more than that. Your son refused to leave me when things god bad. I wanted to make him promise that he wouldn’t because I kept thinking of you and I couldn’t let something happen to him and hurt you. But he shot me down. And not only that, but showed me the empathy I never expected to receive given who I am. That’s what made me see what an amazing job you did raising him. I can only hope that if life ever gives me the chance of being a mother, I can be like you.

Once again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for dumping this on you and for almost taking Pista away from you.

PISTA,

It wasn’t until I was able to lie down in bed that I remembered you. Your face was familiar, of course. I’d catch glances of you every year at the Capitol, but I couldn’t quite place you until I was left alone with my thoughts. At first I only remembered you due to Slate mentioning you during our conversations. It’s what made me come to you for help. My head just told you knew trains, having always being a hard worker who never got into trouble. But of course, Slate never mentioned your games. I remembered those on my own.

I was just a teenager so the memories are fuzzy at best. And of course, I didn’t pay attention. I was self absorbed, just saw a sobbing boy I foolishly thought had a lot of growing up to do. But there is always more than meets the eye. It’s curious, really. I would have never thought that decades later you would be the one actually helping me mature.

You didn’t have to help me. You could’ve just left me to my own devices and stayed with your people. I keep thinking about your mother, about how I wouldn’t forgive myself if you didn’t come back to her because of my doing. It’s why I begged for you to not wait for me. Slate never taught me anything. I just couldn’t bear the thought of being the one that left a mother without her child. Which is stupid, really. That is something I have been doing for decades, just dressing up children before they’re sent to their deaths. And I know that many of the parents do want their children there, but I refuse to use that to justify my actions. Maybe that worked in the past, but not anymore.

I don’t think I really understood what empathy was until who had some for me despite of who I am. And yes, I am aware of how awful that sounds now. I wasn’t lying to you when I said I was working on dealing with all of this. I’ll keep trying.

GRIFFIN,

Thank you.

I could say more. Go on a tangent and talk about how much I dislike you, but that is unnecessary right now. All that you told me did bother me, but it was all because none of the things you mentioned were a lie. I guess that’s what I needed. And I hope you enjoyed it, because it is not happening again. Not because I cannot bear the thought of you having the upper hand, but because I hope that after everything that has happened, we can see eye to eye.

You might not know this, but I was very close to Nelly once. And despite everything and the years I spent away from her, i still trust her judgement. And if she likes you and has taken care of you for years, it must be because you are worth it. I just pray you don’t ruin anymore of my dresses. Hating you is pointless, especially over something to silly. And now that we are seeing eye to eye now, well, I’ve taken it upon me to ensure you don’t hurt that woman.

You are a good man, Griffin Cripes. I apologize for not seeing it until now.

CINNA,

This is obvious to everyone, but it still has to be said. I need to confront these feelings if I truly want to be be able to seek repentance.

I tried to sabotage you. I screamed and complained for what seems like hours, angry that someone had dared to overshadow me. I blamed you for whatever minuscule thing that happened to ruin my day when you first started working for the games. I made plans, swore I would find a way to ensure you would not get any more work after what had been done to me. I thought you were personally trying to ruin my reputation, but it was just my paranoia and Tiberius encouragement making it all worse.

I feel like the past few days my mind has come up with a million excuses that would attempt to paint me as the victim, but I swear that is never my intention. I have a lot to work on, just like I have so many people I need to apologize to. And you’re one of them, hence this letter.

It is an awful attempt at it, I know. I keep repeating this to myself and others, but I am trying. I promise I will have something better once we see each other face to face again. I just need time to properly deal with my own conflicting emotions, but I am sure you understand.

SWANN,

My behavior in the past was not the best. Not towards you, and especially not towards Virgo.

I was possessive and overprotective, that I am ready to accept now. Paranoid too. With so many people whispering into my ears, I was led to believe you had ulterior motives and did not truly care about my sibling. But it was far from it, wasn’t it? I certainly could have brought this up during our conversation, give you a better apology but... Maybe I am a coward. Destroying lives and relationships is easy, but building them is what I seem to struggle with.

Even after our meeting, I left your train car and still asked myself if I had done enough to apologize. After a few hours, I realized I hadn’t. So you get this stupid, sentimental letter that is still not gonna feel like enough. Virgo would be much better at all of this, but I don’t have them with me right now. But on their behalf, I owe you not only several apologies, but a big thank you.

They are not like me. It has its pros and its cons. They’re their own person, and many of what they’ve accomplished is also because of you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this.

---

TIBERIUS,

With your connections, I am sure that by the time you read this you will know what I have done.

I don’t regret anything, Tiberius. If I am writing you one last letter before I put an end to our correspondence for good is because I need you to understand how much I’ve learned to despise you these past few weeks. I almost can’t believe that at one point I dared to think that I ha— No, I’m not doing this.

If I see you lurking around me, my sibling, or Slate I swear that all the things I’ve done to people throughout the years (so many of them for your own benefit) will seem like mere child’s play compared to what will happen if you force me to unleash my rage upon you. The bullshit about everyone that isn’t us being an enemy is over. I know who the real enemy is now.

I’m not scared of you. Never was, and never will. Fuck you.

BLYTHE,

I don’t know the truth. Virgo won’t talk to me, but they’re also absolutely terrible at keeping things hidden. I’ve seen the letters and the paintings, so I can only assume that something is going on between you two. And it did bother me. First because I didn’t think you were enough. I told myself that was the only reason, that I was just looking out for them but now I’ve realized I was tricking myself into not accepting that for the first time in my life, I was jealous of them.

You probably won’t care about this. In fact, I am sure that before I finish this sentence this letter will already be destroyed. But I need to put this somewhere not only for my own sake, but for Virgo. If there is someone that does not deserve to suffer because of me, it’s them.

They had a proper childhood, I did not. They are now able to experience something I have only heard about due to those corny TV dramas they love so much. And it hurts. I kept it to myself. Showing vulnerability is something I have never allowed myself to do, but when it involves love and caring, I had to bury my feelings somewhere. Except I buried my worries and let my anger and jealousy affect them. It’s not happening again. Regardless of these feelings still being present, I cannot continue hurting them just because for once, they’re thriving at something I am not.

If you are still reading, this letter is a plea for you to take care of them. And a threat as well. Because if you dare to hurt them in any way, I can promise you that all those feelings I’ve buried will come out and you will learn what dealing with what I am capable of doing when I am upset.

AVEN

I loved Desmond. Friendships don’t come easy to me, but he was talented enough to change that and earn a place in my inner circle. His last name helped, yes, but at the end of the day that was not why we remained closed.

After he was gone, blaming you was easy. Spreading rumors gave me a purpose, made me believe I had the upper hand, that I still knew better. But what I made others whispers behind your back wasn’t the only information we had. Many of us just refused to listen to it. At the end it benefitted no one but Snow.

I’m sorry you lost your husband. That was what you deserved to hear years ago instead of our complaints and unfounded grievances. I have no way of fixing the damage I caused. I will not attempt to excuse it. It happened and you suffered deeply for it. That is what matters.

Maybe one day you will allow me to not only explain myself, but apologize. I still have a lot to do in regards to facing all the horrible things I did and what the Capitol’s indoctrination did to my psyche, but I hope that by the time we have a chance to see each other, I will have more to offer you than an I’m sorry.

#emberstask #sp #DIOSE VALEY'S REDEMPTION TOUR 2K21 #dm me for a free tshirt

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marmarparadoxa · 4 years

Note

Hello!! I want to raise just a couple of points: 1. I know lots of people say “Erwin > humanity” for Levi, because back during Midnight Sun (Serumbowl) he prioritized Erwin’s comfort over humanity’s chances. By letting Erwin die, it meant he was ready to cripple their future. What do you think?

2. What always bothered me is that BEFORE he used to say he would continue his fight for freedom to give meaning to his soldiers’ deaths. But NOW he explicitly said the thing that can give meaning to their deaths is if he kills Zeke (ch112) - and not fighting for humanity’s freedom. So it seems like outwardly he is fighting for their island like a good little soldier, but deep inside that wouldn’t be satisfying to him, because his main objective is revenging Erwin&Co by killing Zeke (the infamous promise) - that’s what Isayama implied, imho. The two goals were conveniently locked together for most of the story (“I will keep Zeke alive for now only because I can kill him later”, “Killing Zeke will stop the Rumbling” etc), so that Levi doesn’t have to choose what’s more important to him, and his obsession and reason for fighting are never challenged.

Hello! Sorry for the late reply. Let’s try to untangle all of what you have raised up here.

1. I find that expression a quite misleading way to phrase this matter. The fact is, while I do think that Levi’s choice was eventually dictated by his ‘personal feelings’, the said feelings being related to Erwin’s comfort, I don’t think that this choice generally meant “crippling humanity’s future” , nor do I think that it meant that for Levi. What follows from above is that you can’t draw from that the conclusion that Levi was ready to undermine the future of humanity.

- As regards the ‘personal feelings’ part: Erwin, beyond being their invaluable, unwavering commander, the one who led them so far, till that tragic end in Shiganshina, was the person who gave Levi a new purpose in his life, that Levi followed till then. And even if it was him who sent Erwin riding to his death, Levi wasn’t ready to lose him yet. In my opinion, when Levi said that humanity cannot succeed without Erwin, that they needed him if they wanted to defeat the titans, what was coming out in that particular moment was not exactly his rational judgement, but rather his resistance to let go of one of his dearest ones, such a significant person in his life. Certainly I’m not claiming that Levi didn’t think of Erwin as a formidable asset in their struggle (because he obviously thought that, and Erwin was irreplaceable as a matter of fact), but simply that it was basically his emotions spilling out there. Eventually, however, Levi chose to let him rest, because he understood that by letting go his dream, Erwin had finally found release, and that reviving him, Levi would have simply put another chain on him, forcing him to be the “devil” they needed again. And eventually, it was this that dragged Levi to choose not to revive him, or better, to choose this place and time, for Erwin’s death. This way, he let him go free.

- As regards the consequence for humanity’s future: But even if by choosing to let Erwin die Levi consciously deprived them of the brilliant strategic acumen and relentlessness of their commander, I don’t think he believed that by doing this he was jeopardising the future of humanity. I think that for the following reasons.

Choosing to not give the injection to Erwin, he gave it instead to Armin. And Isayama made sure to let us know that Levi did recognize Armin’s potential. We saw Levi overheard that EMA convo, when he first heard Armin talking of his dream, something he thought back right before making his decision. Also, as all others, Levi was aware of the strategic talent which Armin displayed any number of times in the middle of difficult battles and situations. As Levi later told him, it is true that he has a power that no human has.

Still, at that time Armin was still very young and lacked experience. However, when Levi was left alone on that roof, and eventually chose to let Erwin go, he had seen Hange, he knew they were still alive. And besides the fact that since Hange were alive, it meant that he wouldn’t be the only veteran left, he wouldn’t be left alone, Hange was in fact the very person that Erwin designated as his successor as commander of the Survey Corps, the person Erwin deemed capable of leading them, when he would have been gone. So Levi knew that even if he would have chosen to let Erwin die, they wouldn’t have been left without a guide, there would have been someone able to lead them, someone with a brilliant mind and a years-long experience. Hence, someone able to face whatever was waiting for them.

Summing up, while I believe that Levi’s choice was ultimately driven by his personal feelings for Erwin, I don’t think that this choice meant undermining humanity’s chances, not generally speaking, neither, more importantly for the purpose of this discussion, from his point of view. Therefore, he choice he made doesn’t by any means mean that he was “ready to cripple their future”.

2. “NOW he explicitly said the thing that can give meaning to their deaths is if he kills Zeke (ch112)”

Well, yes. Levi thinks that he’ll be able to prove the meaning of their deaths, by killing Zeke. However, this isn’t referring to all of his comrades’ deaths - rather, Levi here is referring only to the deaths of those who perished in that desperate ride toward the throwing-rocks Beast Titan back in the battle at Shiganshina. If we limit ourselves to speak about those deaths, I think it’s true that Levi thinks that he could prove the meaning of them only by taking down Zeke, only by fulfilling his promise to Erwin, thus avenging their sacrifice. And it is true that Levi longs for the day when he’ll be able to do it.

But their deaths are not the only ones that Levi bears the weight of proving the meaning of. Levi saw so many of his comrades dying in their struggle against the titans, in their fighting for humanity’s survival. And Levi’s struggle in facing the fact that that hope they all died for was now turning against them, turning out to be just a delusion, shows us that he still thinks that the only way to give meaning to all of those sacrifices is always that: to carry on his comrades’ will, by keep on fighting for what they and he always fought for, or humanity’s freedom. And here Levi’s having a hard time, because how is he supposed to accomplish it, how is he supposed to make sense of that, if what they believed in turned out like that?

Since Eren started the Rumbling, then, all of what Levi has done and said persuades me that he does want to stop the Rumbling, as much as all others on that airplan. In chapter 133, he proposed Hange’s plan of killing Zeke as the most feasible way to stop the Rumbling, a moment later in the Paths he asked Eren to stop, after that, it was he who asked Armin what they’re gonna do now.

Beyond that, there’s no way that Levi can stand by and watch while the whole humanity is being trampled and slaughtered, it goes against his personality and values. I send you back to this answer by @oldsummerdream, where very pertinent points are made about it.

Regarding Isayama's Q&A, I don't think it has added anything new. We know that Levi wants to fulfill his vow to Erwin, we know that he bears obsessive feelings toward Zeke (and in the abovementioned post, you can also find a plausible explanation to why Levi clings so much to Zeke and to his promise). It is not implied though that these are his only motivations and that he doesn’t care about humanity’s future.

Regarding the fact that these two goals (killing Zeke so as to fulfill his vow to Erwin, killing Zeke as a means for stopping Eren and the Rumbling) are conveniently locked together, or they’re not mutually exclusive, it is true. I think it’s worth noticing that Levi didn’t immediately try to kill Zeke when he got to the island, but it’s true that he could count on the fact that he’d only have to wait a little more, and eventually get his revenge. And now, killing Zeke seems indeed the easiest way to stop this massacre.

However, given what I said above, there’s enough for me to believe that Levi’s priority is still that of fighting for humanity, and only then getting his revenge. If it’s not enough for you, or for many others, though, the upcoming chapters might provide us with a certain answer. In the event that the Alliance finds out that killing Zeke won’t stop the Rumbling, they would have to direct their efforts elsewhere, on Eren, and possibly Levi would have to choose what’s more important to him. But it’s not granted that we will be given an enlightening moment like that. We just have to wait and see.

#levi ackerman #erwin smith #serum bowl #armin arlert #hange zoë #zeke yeager #snk meta #snk 112 #snk 133 #what's levi fighting for?

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Text

Third Time’s The Charm (Indruck)

Prompt for the 10th was: stiches

“I ain’t sure what you thought was gonna happen. That canopy is fuckin dense.”

“In my, ouch, defense I, ow, only crash landed in one percent of futures, OW!” Indrid cuts off into chitters of pain as Duck continues stitching up his shoulder near his wing.”

You know, Duck had been hoping someone from home would visit him out here in Brazil. He just wasn't expecting the mothman to be the first one to show up.

And he really wasn’t expecting him to crash to the ground near Ducks small cabin that he stays in when not in the field. In spite of his wing clearly bleeding, he’d told Duck to hurry into town to head off yet another fire. When Duck came back two hours later to find Indrid trying to stitch up his wing using the bathroom mirror and a very odd contortion, he ordered him to sit down on the closed toilet seat so he could do the damn thing right.

He’s halfway through now, Indrid’s feathers making things tricky. The Sylph staying in this form until it was over, since his pain tolerance is higher when he’s not human.

“Thank you for not insisting on taking me to a hospital.”

“The closest one is an hour away and I don’t know enough Portuguese to explain the mothman to a doctor.” Duck adjusts his stance slightly so he’s not blocking the light he needs to work, “gotta say, for all your chirpin, you’re doin pretty damn well.”

“As you pointed out, one cannot go as ‘mothman’ to a hospital. And after documentation became more common, it became harder to produce identifying documents that wouldn’t raise too many questions. One gets used to home surgery and unpleasant infections.”

Duck raises an eyebrow, concerned by the last part of that sentence.

“Do not worry, Duck Newton, I know enough healing spells that it has never become an issue.”

“I mean, that’s good to know but Indrid, that ain’t no way to live.”

“Perhaps not. But it was often the price of helping prevent disaster. Or trying to.”

“You helped us a hell of a lot in Kepler.”

The Sylph hums in acknowledgement, hisses as Duck pulls the last stitch through. He stays quiet as Duck bandages him. Awkward silence is broken only by insects and the occasional bird, and a question taps at the back of Duck’s skull.

“I, uh, I thought you were goin back to Sylvain. Handin the job off to Leo and all that.”

“I considered that, and Leo is welcome to use his foresight as he pleases. But as I told you on our first meeting, I fell in love with earth. I have been away from Sylvain for a long time. I searched for a solution to her decline for a century. You and the others solved it in one-hundredth of that time. So it is not as if the kingdom will welcome me back as a hero. And I do not want my old position back. No, Duck Newton, if I am going to be a failure, have my warnings ignored, I may as well do so on the planet I like better.”

“Now, hold on-” Duck wants to argue, but Indrid swivels his head, red eyes as disconcerting as they were when they met. He looks very sure of his conclusion. More than that, he looks tired.

“Your question had a dual purpose, so I will answer what was implicit; you want to know why I’m here and not somewhere else.”

“I, uh, I mean yeah, but I ain’t-”

“-trying to be rude, nono, I do not doubt that. I came to you because the fire I foresaw would be as bad, if not worse, as the one you are helping undo the damage from. And it is easier to stop disaster when I don’t have to waste time making someone believe I can really see the future.” He stands, taking up half the bathroom, “thank you for your help. I will put on my glasses and be on my way. Can I trouble you for a ride into town?”

“No, I mean yeah, but jesus christ Indrid, you crashed. I just finished stitching you up! You oughta rest up some.’

Indrid cocks his head, “Yes, hence the trip into town. I can rest there until my wing is healed.”

“You got no one to tend those stitches, and I got a couch that ain’t bein used.”

“But you do not want me here.” He barely sounds hurt, just resigned, and somehow that makes Duck feel worse than if the Sylph was crying.

And a little annoyed.

“Did I say that?”

“No. But we were hardly close friends, and what is more you have spent a great deal of your life with aliens popping into your space unannounced. Where is she, by the by? I thought she was coming with you.”

Duck sticks his hands into his pockets, staring down as he shrugs, “forestry ain’t exactly her area of interest. And, uh, once the trauma-bondin’ wore off, think we both needed some time to sort some things out.”

Indrid stares blankly at him a moment, and then he chirrs, “You’re lonely.”

“Hey I, I’m uh, I- how the fuck did you know that?”

“You said so in some futures.”

“Are there futures where you accept my offer and get your fuzzy ass on the couch before you pass out?” Duck doesn’t mean to sound grumpy, but Indrid just bumped into two sore spots in Duck’s psyche.

Oddly, Indrid snickers, “I forgot how stubborn you can be. Very well, I accept your offer of the couch.”

By the time Duck gets back with a spare pillow, the Sylph is asleep, chirping peacefully.

------------------------------------------------

“What are you doing?”

“GAHfuck”

“Apologies.” Indrid only looks partially sorry, his human grin wide when Duck glares at him.

“That some sort of Sylph silence spell?”

“No, just years of practice trying not to be heard in the halls when I was seer.”

Last Duck saw him, he was still asleep on the couch, mumbling and chirring in pain when Duck changed the bandage. Duck would like to say that’s all he remembers, except there was a moment after he finished and Indrid’s eyes fluttered open as he sighed out a “thank you.” And that sight, the way Indrid looked in the morning light, safe and trusting, had tugged at his heart.

“May I keep you company? I am not in much of a state to do much else, even watch futures. Hitting my head tends to do that.”

“Uh, sure. I’m on my own for the mornin, not sure how excitin it will be.”

“I wish to know everything.”

Duck’s about to make a crack about being careful what you wish for when he gets a good look at Indrid’s face. The Sylph is grinning eagerly and is even flapping his hands a bit as he speaks.

“I want to see what you see in this jungle.”

So Duck shows him, everything from the saplings they’ve chosen to the creatures darting in and out of view. Indrid asks questions and makes excited noises, but mostly he listens, lets Duck talk or not as it pleases him. They’ve been in a stretch of silence when Duck turns and guffaws.

Indrid, sitting on a log, is covered in butterflies, some as big as Duck’s hand and in all colors of the rainbow.

“Guess they know a relative when they see one.”

The Sylph beams, “I was wondering how long it would be before you noticed.”

“Wait, did you summon them?”

“No, they just sort of...do this. It may be for moth reasons, or perhaps I have eaten so much sugar they smell it in my pores. I was, however, hoping they would join me, because I foresaw it making you happy.”

That same affection sparks in Duck’s chest.

“Alright, you heard enough from me today. Now I wanna know all about what you been doin since the world didn’t end.”

Indrid tells him about his attempts to stay in Kepler, his promise to Stern to not get photographed too much, his relentless teasing of Barclay for falling in love with the agent. His travels to other states to stop disasters, newly energized in his successes in Kepler.

“If you can call them that,”

“I’d say you can.”

Indrid holds out his hand, studying the speckled butterfly perched on it, “You renewed so much of my belief that things could change. At the cottonwood, when you promised me you’d find a way to stop what was coming, stop the sinkhole I...it meant a great deal. Even if your method of freeing me was rather, ah, abrupt.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “Yep, not my best plan, but it worked.”

“The bruise only lasted nine days, it was worth it in the end.”

Duck shoots him a playfully hurt smile, “Hey, don’t make me feel bad, I apologized.”

Indrid raises an eyebrow.

“Oh fuck” Duck tugs his hat down over his eyes, “I didn’t, I never fuckin apologized for punchin you.”

“In your defense, there were more pressing matters.” There it is again, that resignation. Duck wants to yank it out of Indrid’s tone and stomp it to bits. Instead, he steps forward, rests a hand on each of Indrid’s biceps.

“Indrid, I’m so fuckin sorry. Even if it helped save you, I’m sorry you got hurt again and it was me that did it.”

“I…” Indrid closes his mouth, opens it again, repeats that motion before managing, “I did not see that reply coming.” He smiles a new smile, small and secretive, as if he’s been given something precious, “thank you for saying that, Duck.”

-----------------------------------------------------

“I see why they call it a rainforest.” Indrid stares out the window as drops batter it.

“Yep.” Duck zips up his raincoat, smirking at the bundled up silver haired man, “guessin you ain’t joinin me?”

“I do not enjoy wet weather. Though if you want company I can oh, no, never mind.”

Duck’s radio crackles, and a quick conversation informs him that the conditions at the current reforestation site are too swamped to get anything done.

“Guess I got the day off. Uh, what do you wanna do?”

“I planned to draw and track futures, but I foresee you offering to teach me a card game, and I prefer that future.”

They end up on the floor by the couch, since Indrid seldom sits in chairs in a normal way anyway, mug of coffee in front of Duck and tea with half the sugar jar in front of Indrid. Duck teaches him several games, and as they play Indrid gets going on a tangent about his stint as a cardshark in Las Vegas, and the years he relied on hitchhiking to get around. Duck tells him about growing up in Kepler, about all the years between turning eighteen and now, the ones that plenty of people in his life treated as irrelevant to his life story.

They end up playing and talking until nightfall. Duck knows he should head to bed, that he has work tomorrow, but he doesn’t want to stop hearing Indrid’s laugh or seeing him scribble down futures.

He misses him when he goes to sleep.

Around eleven, his body makes an executive decision and he nods off leaning against the couch. He wakes up a few hours later to fluff on his cheek and comforting weight across his chest. Opening his eyes, he finds his head is in Indrid’s lap and a large black wing blankets him.

Even in his sleep, Indrid is terrifying in this form. At least, that's the argument his brain makes; Indrid is huge and alien, dangerous when he wants to be.

His heart disagrees. There’s nothing to be scared of. Indrid is his friend, wants nothing from him other than to get to know him. He’s soft, that helps, and clearly thinks of Duck as someone worth protecting. The sleep chirping is pretty fucking cute, too.

Red eyes open, two nightlights in the dark cabin. Indrid’s antenna are twitching and he’s clicking the claws of his upper hands together.

“Apologies, you sort of nodded off while we were talking and I caught you when you tipped over. I felt odd carrying you to bed, and this form seemed better to lay on, and then you started shivering so I put my wing-oh.”

Duck rolls over so he’s on his side, facing Indrid’s fuzzy abdomen, “Not complainin’, ‘Drid. Just adjustin’.”

He shuts his eyes, and for a moment clawtips trace his hair.

“Goodnight, Duck.”

----------------------------------------------

He’s been living with Duck for three months now. Far too long to count as “recovery” and thoroughly pushing the definition of “vacation.” Indrid doesn’t want to go. And Duck doesn’t want him to either, if his actions are any indication. He’s fixed up the one spare room to be a guest room, includes Indrid in planning out the week, including planning a few day trips on the days he isn’t working. It's as if he wants Indrid around.

(It’s as if he wants a future with him).

Indrid can no longer attribute it solely to loneliness. Yes, Duck misses his friends and family, but he clearly gets along with his fellow rangers and the other staff on the project, and in that very Duck way of his has become a regular at places in the nearby town, having enough Portuguese to ask the woman who runs the cafe about her grandkids or the mail carrier how his garden is doing.

Which means he’s keeping Indrid around out of pity, charity, or genuine affection. That the last option even exists makes Indrid want to take to the sky in celebratory flight.

He’s been alive a long time. He knows what a crush feels like, and he knows that's what he feels for Duck. He also feels it deepening into something else, and if he could be sure the ranger felt the same he’d tell him in an instant.

His crush is not helped by the fact that Duck asked if he wanted to go for a weekend in Porto Velho and how they’re here, on their second night, at a spot that's a little fancier than Indrid is used to, with Duck looking extra-handsome across from him.

Come to think of it, Duck’s looked rather more put-together all weekend, even when they were in parks rather than museums (at the former he’d laughed when Indrid was alarmed by the far too big fish, and at the latter he seemed like he was actually listening when Indrid talked about art).

Duck keeps fidgeting during dinner, and Indrid suddenly understands; this is a farewell weekend. He’s going to ask Indrid to leave, is trying to soften the blow.

When Indrid declines dessert, the ranger actually frowns with worry, covers it by jokingly asking if Indrid is sick. By the time they get back to the hotel, Indrid is so nervous he can't get the timelines to cooperate in his mind, and so he decides to be proactive.

Duck doesn’t turn the lights on, inclining his head towards the balcony. Indrid follows him out into the night air, the city bathing them in light from below and the moonlight cascading down to meet it. Indrid leans on the railing looking out. Duck leans next to him, so close Indrid can count the laugh lines on his face.

“This has been a wonderful trip, thank you for bringing me.”

“Yeah?” Duck’s face brightens, borders on excitement as he turns his body slightly towards Indrid, “I’m glad to hear that. I, uh, worked real hard on plannin it for us.”

Indrid nods, glances back out towards the cit, “I will be out of your hair as soon as we get back ho-, to, ah, to the cabin.”

Duck’s entire frame crumples inwards, “Oh, uh...okay. Yeah. If that's what you need to do, uh, you, uh, you do it.”

Indrid cups his cheek, forcing his fingers to stay still, “Thank you for letting me stay. And for planning me such a lovely send off.”

“Indrid, how could I plan for somethin I didn’t think was happenin?”

“Ah, um, I simply assumed-”

“‘Drid” Duck steps closer, “do you think I want you gone?”

No point in lying now, not when Duck is always so truthful.

“Yes.”

“Did I do somethin? Is this too much? Fuck, it is, ain’t it, I knew the whole romantic dinner for two thing was gonna be too far.”

Indrid has been alive a long time. The fact he can still be this oblivious is remarkable to him.

“‘Drid, I’m so fuckin sorry, I uh, I thought-” He gasps when Indrid guides his face up for a kiss, and he’s so warm and comforting and there and he’s kissing Indrid bck, kissing him like it’s all he remembers how to do

When they break the kiss Indrid grins, “You thought right, Duck.”

“Oh thank fuckin god.”

With that Duck pounces, hooking his hands under Indrid’s thighs and lifting him up, kissing him over and over on their somewhat precarious trip to the bed.

Indridi has had plenty of sleepless nights. This turns out to be the first time he enjoys one.

And several months later, when Duck returns to Kepler for the screening of a very special episode of Saturday Night Dead, Indrid steps off the plane with him, grinning in the West Virginia Sun.

#indrid cold/duck newton #indruck #TAZ Amnesty #promptober

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mint-yooxgi · 4 years

Note

heya so I has lots of questions about vampire jaehyun’s yandere au that I write out here but you don’t have to answer!! please don’t feel obligated to do so and don’t feel guilty to deny answering my questions!! If you want me to send these questions in singular asks, you might have to post a thing asking me to do so, I’m sorry for the long ask!!

Would Jaehyun ever use his compulsion on the OC? Like if they are refusing to do anything with him or just fucking hates him and won’t have anything to do with him? Is that like the only moral he’s got? That he won’t ever use compulsion on the reader?

If the OC asked him to stop his sadistic tendencies, would he actually stop? Or would he continue to do it even though he promised the reader he wouldn’t?

Would Jaehyun want the reader to remain human or turn them into a vampire? What if the reader doesn’t want to be a vampire and wants to remain human? Would Jaehyun force the reader to turn?

Can the vampires in Jaehyun’s au bring back the dead or something? (was just a random thought if potentially the little sister could be brought back so reader wouldn’t hate him for the rest of his life)

Is there anything special about the vampires of Jaehyun’s au? Like do they have to be invited in? If that’s true, could the reader potential run to a home and make sure he can’t get in?

What if the reader tries to kill themself to join little sis? Would he turn the OC to keep them alive?

Can compulsion be used on other vampires? (So if reader turned they can run away and actually stay away bc their strength matched Jaehyun’s?)

Okay I’m done pls let me know if you want me to send these questions separately or if someone of them you don’t want to answer!! I will respect your choice bc ily!!

Wow! OMG, this makes me so happy that you have all these questions about the AU and I will be happy to answer all of them!! Gonna put a read more since this got super long and this will contain spoilers (I guess) and also TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of suicide!!

Okay okay, I'll number them to make them easier to follow!

1. So he would never use compulsion on the OC to make them love him, or do anything that would cross a line like force the OC to kiss him or something like that. However, he’s not above compelling the OC to make sure she’s taking care of herself if the servants cannot do their jobs properly. So like, compelling the OC to eat when she’s hungry and make sure she’s drinking water, stuff like that, is all on the table. Besides, he doesn’t really need to use compulsion all that much cause he pulls the “if you don’t do this, I will kill this person while you watch and it’ll be your fault” card.

2. Hmm, that would be like asking him to change his personality and who he is, so it’s possible, and he could become nicer towards some, but it would take a long time for there to be any substantial difference as his behaviour has been ingrained into him for hundreds of years. So, probably not, though the OC can try. Jaehyun is the type to be like, “well, now you know all sides of me so you better accept them all cause this is who I am.”

3. It was always in his plans to turn the OC, and he can and will do it against their will if he so chooses, though he’d rather they wanted him to turn them so it’d be their own decision. That being said, the OC could remain a human for quite a while, but after a certain age, Jaehyun would just turn them if he so chooses.

4. No, unfortunately in this universe, what’s dead should stay dead. However, it is possible if one knows a powerful spell. The type of death is crucial though for the spell to work, the body has to be intact, so unfortunately Lori with her decapitated head would not qualify for the spell.

5. Oh, there’s plenty!! So Jaehyun is a pure vampire which means he was born as what he is, instead of made, meaning he is one of the most powerful vampires in existence. There are others like him, but because he comes from the royal bloodline, he’s more powerful, hence his heightened senses of smell, hearing, etc. over others of his species. He’s also one of the fastest and strongest of his kind because of this. They do have to be invited in, as well as they have the power of compulsion (if that wasn’t clear from previous answers lol). As to the OC running away, it would be kind of difficult even with the invitation requirement as everyone in the kingdom knows who he is and who the OC is, so she would be risking the lives of whatever person or persons they ran to since the whole kingdom thinks the OC and Jaehyun are in a loving relationship. Besides, he’s the Prince and ofc he’d be automatically invited into a person’s home if he showed up on their front door.

6. So this relates to question one, and yes this would be an instant he would use compulsion to stop the OC from taking their own life. If it got to the point where the OC managed to do something and the only choice was to turn them, he would.

7. Most definitely, compulsion can be used on other vampires, and seeing how Jaehyun is literally the strongest vampire in existence right now, they would have no choice regarding the matter. Though, people tend to listen to him when he orders them to do something without needing to be compelled. Even if he turned the OC, yes they would be strong but since they are a turned vampire, still not as strong as Jaehyun. (Unless you’re talking about blood sharing which in that case, OC could get close to Jaehyun’s strength, but still wouldn’t be the same, and even then it would take years).

#ask #About: Vampire Jaehyun #tw: suicide

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miichellle · 4 years

Text

Relax

Word Count: 2,422

A/N: This is VERY quickly done, idk why I just thought of this in my head. I didn’t wanna forget it so I like rushed into it. I hope you enjoy! ~Michelle 🤍

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It had been since 9 a.m to 11 p.m. Logan had only stepped away from his desk once to get breakfast, then went back up to his room to continue his work. The other three Sides let it go for the past 2 days but now, they were getting very concerned, irritated and impatient.

“I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. Why must he lock himself up in his room to work without breaks when he knows he can ask for our help? Or give himself one day to recover?!” Roman exclaimed, obviously getting frustrated with the logical side. Virgil slumped in his place on the couch and sighed. Patton laid his hand on Virgil’s thigh and patted it.

“Roman, honey, you gotta understand that Logan is a very stubborn person-“ Virgil cut Patton off.

“But that doesn’t give him an excuse to overwork himself. Yeah, it may be in his ‘nature’ but it’s still not good.” Virgil started nibbling at his thumbnail while bouncing his leg up and down. Patton saw that he was getting worked up and slowly ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair, knowing that it always instantly calmed him down. Virgil melted into his touch. Patton smiled as Virgil stopped bouncing his leg and put his hand down.

“Okay, okay. You do realize, Padre, that we need to snap him out of this current cycle, right?” Roman asked

“Of course I do, Ro.” Patton smiled his way.

“But how though? Like you said Pat, he’s stubborn. If we try talking to him, he’ll get all defensive and it’ll go in one ear and out the other. There’s no use.” Virgil explained. Roman dramatically groaned and fell to the ground on his back. He heard Patton giggle at his dramatics and a small smile graced his face. Patton thought for a moment then gasped.

“I got it! I know how we can get him to take a break without getting defensive. Well… not the irritating kind of defensive.” He smirked as Virgil and Roman stared at him in confusion.

“What do you mean, Pat?” Roman asked, now sitting up.

“Tickles! But not rough tickles.” While Roman blushed, Virgil still looked baffled.

“Where are you going with this, Patton?” Virgil asked cautiously. Patton smirked at him.

“You, mister, of all people know what I mean by that!” Patton pointed at the anxious Side.

“I… really don’t…” Virgil hesitated and Roman smiled at him in disbelief.

“Oh really? Would you want me to use you to demonstrate what I mean?” Patton asked. Virgil slid over to the side, getting further away from Patton.

“No!” Virgil said quickly as Patton laughed at him.

“That’s what I thought. Now c’mon you two. I’ll explain on the way up there.” All three Sides made their way up to Logan’s room.

Logan was writing in a journal as he was also checking over Thomas’ schedules for the next two months. He always liked to be prepared very early. He was softly humming “The Elements” to keep himself focused on his work. It wasn’t that he was sleepy or tired or anything. It was that he was stressed… and hungry… and desperate for help but since he was such a perfectionist, he wanted to do everything himself to make sure it was done correctly and in order. He heard a soft knock on his door.

“Come in.” Logan said without turning from his desk. Patton entered first, then followed Roman and Virgil.

“Oh. Hello Patton. Roman. Virgil. Is there something you require?” Logan asked, adjusting his glasses.

“Actually, no. But we do have a question.” Roman said.

“Which is?”

“Come eat dinner and watch a movie with us?” Patton smiled. Logan sighed.

“You three know I have a lot of work to do and-“ Virgil cut him off.

“You’ve been working for three days now, L. That’s enough time to finish up all that work.” Virgil pointed out.

“And I have a feeling you haven’t eaten anything today.” Roman chimed in.

“And I can see it in your face. You're exhausted mentally.” Patton finished and Logan held the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t particularly understand how many times I must say this to you three. I’m perfectly capable of stopping when I need to stop. I can eat when I want to eat and if I eat now, that would be completely illogical since you cannot eat before bed and I’m not even remotely tired and-“ Patton gave him a stern look which made him shut his mouth quickly.

“Logan, if you don’t get out of that chair and walk down those stairs to eat and watch a movie, then we’ll be forced to take drastic measures.” Patton's tone of voice made Logan, as well as Virgil and Roman, uneasy. But he stood his ground.

“Look, I appreciate the concern. But no thank you. I’m okay, I promise.” Logan turned back to his work. The other three Sides stood there for a moment with pretty irritated faces.

“Yeah, okay.” Was all Virgil said before Patton forcefully twisted Logan’s swivel chair around to have Roman grab his arms and Virgil grab his legs as they both lifted him up onto their shoulders like luggage.

“Hey! Put me down, now! This isn’t funny!” Logan was squirming around as Roman and Virgil walked down the stairs with him in hand, trying to hold onto him as best they could without having him fall due to his squirming.

“We’re not trying to be funny! You need to take a break, Logan. And you’re gonna take it one way or another.” Patton scolded gently.

“Even though we already established what way you’re taking it now.” Roman chuckled as he and Virgil dropped him on the floor. As soon as he was released, he tried to scramble away towards the stairs but Virgil caught his feet and dragged him back towards the group. Logan then crossed his arms and pouted angrily on his back as the three Sides stared down at him.

“Hey you. Wipe that pout off your face.” Patton booped Logan’s nose but all that did was make him blush a bit.

“D’aww. Look at that lovely blush!” Roman gushed as Virgil just smirked.

“Is this all you three man handlers brought me downstairs to do? Embarrass me?” Logan asked, avoiding eye contact.

“Nope that’s not it. Although that is a plus to what we’re about to do. Patton.“ Virgil gestured to Patton.

“Logan, I told you if you didn’t come down here willingly, we would have to take drastic measures.” Patton said all too innocently.

“I recall.”

“Well, do you know what those drastic measures are?”

“No but I’m sure you all are going to enlighten me.” Logan said with a hint of sass in his voice.

“Oh you have no idea.” Roman said.

Logan rolled his eyes and paid no mind to how they all switched positions. Roman made his way toward Logan’s feet, Virgil stayed right by his tummy, and Patton moved up to his head. As he wasn’t paying attention, Patton started to run his fingers through Logan’s hair and he initially wanted to melt into the feeling and relax. But being as stubborn as he is, he resisted and stayed stiff. Patton noticed this.

“Logan, honey, it’s okay. You can relax. Nobody’s gonna judge you or get upset with you.” Patton insisted but Logan held strong and kept the pout on his face and his shoulders stiff. He didn’t like being interrupted during his working process. Patton then looked up at Virgil and winked. Signaling that it was his turn to try. Virgil didn’t lift his shirt up to a point where Logan would notice and protest. He lifted it just enough so his fingers could reach his ribs and started softly scratching up and down, from the top of his ribs to his hip bones. Logan started to squirm a little at this feeling, which was making it hard for him to resist the feeling of Patton’s fingers in his hair that were now traveling to the nape of his neck and fluttered.

“C’mon Teach, I can see you wanna smile. It’ll make you feel much, much better if you do.” Virgil teased. Logan looked away, trying his hardest not to smile.

“He’s right, Logey-bear. Just let go.” Patton cooed right by his right ear which made him shiver a little bit and finally relax his shoulders. Patton then looked to Roman and nodded. The final piece of the puzzle was now needed. Luckily for him, Logan wasn’t wearing any shoes or socks. Why? Who knows. Well, it is Logan’s room and he can be comfortable in there. But Roman started high, he fluttered his fingers down from the back of his knees, down his legs and scratched at the center of both his feet. That finally got him smiling. He started to squirm a little harder now and held in some giggles.

“Calculator Watch, what are you squirming so hard for? And my oh my, what’s got you blushing so hard? Your face is almost as red as my sash.” Roman smirked and kept up the slow and steady speed of his fingers.

“Uh oh boys, I think Logan is hiding something from us.” Patton sang. Logan looked up at him and shook his head.

“Hmm, you know what Pat? I think you’re right.” Virgil agreed.

“Am not.” Logan managed to say without giggling through gritted teeth.

“Are to.” Roman argued.

“Now, I wonder what he could be hiding. Any guesses?” Patton asked as he started to trace along Logan’s ears, dodging whenever he tried to block them by lifting up his shoulders.

“Oh! Oh! I know!” Roman said enthusiastically.

“What do you think, Ro?” Patton smiled.

“I think he’s hiding his oh so adorable giggles!” Roman said as he moved his fingers to the back of Logan’s knees again. Virgil started scratching at his lower tummy.

“I agree. You wanna tell us where you’re hiding them, L?” Virgil asked the blushing Side below him.

“Oh no, no. He doesn’t have to say because I can find out for us all! Here, Virgil, put your hand right at the center of his tummy. But keep your other hand fluttering around his hips.” Patton said happily. Virgil did as instructed.

“Now Roman, go on and scratch at those cute little feet real quick.” Roma did as told. Patton then started fluttering his fingers under Logan’s chin. By all three of them gently attacking his melt spots, which was their initial goal: have Logan melt into the tickles, Virgil was able to feel Logan’s abdomen vibrating. Hence him trying to hold his giggles in.

“Hey! They’re in his tummy, guys. Those adorable giggles are inside his tummy. Isn’t that cute?” Virgil teased. Logan tried twisting his body away from him but Virgil’s hand followed.

“Indeed it is! But the real question now is: how do we get them out of hiding?” Roman pondered.

“Once again, not to worry, I’ll show you! I’ve done this hundreds of times. Now Virgil, take both your hands and rest your fingers on the third rib on each side of him and scratch away.” Virgil did just that and Logan’s smile was wider than ever.

“And Roman, scratch at the tops of his feet.” Roman did as told which made Logan start kicking again.

“And now…~” Patton fluttered his fingers right behind Logan’s earlobes. That instantly made Logan release all those soft giggles.

“No, no, nohohohoho!” Logan giggled out while trying to twist away from Virgil’s hands, yank his legs away from Roman’s and turn his head every which way from Patton’s.

“Aww! Aren’t those giggles just darling!” Roman cooed.

“They are pretty freaking cute.” Virgil smirked.

“They’re just absolutely precious!” Patton gushed.

“Gehehet awahahahay! Plehehehease!” Logan blushes at all the teasing and compliments.

“Nu-uh. Not yet, gigglebug. We still gotta help you relax! What better way to do that than target your melt spots?” Patton smirked.

“Thihihis isn’t fahahair! You knohohohow I cahahahan’t handle melt spohohots!” Logan whined through his laughter.

“Why do you think we chose this route? This would’ve been avoided if you had just come downstairs willingly.” Virgil stated, moving his fingers to Logan’s sides.

“You brought this on yourself, Microsoft Nerd!” Roman smiled squeezing the tops of Logan’s knees, giving him a lovely squeal in return.

“Oh well. Maybe next time you won’t be so stubborn. Now laugh for us.” Patton said brightly.

All of this went on for a glorious 10 minutes until the logical Side was giggly, loopy and blushing up a storm.

“Alright kiddos, I think he’s learned his lesson.” Patton said, moving next to Virgil.

“Aww, no more?” Roman pouted.

“No mohohohore!” Logan yelled from his place. Which made the other Sides smile.

“Well, maybe just one more reminder for next time.” Patton whispered in both Virgil and Roman’s ears and they all got into position. Roman on Logan’s right side, Virgil on his left and Patton straddling his waist. They all took a deep, deep breath in and gave Logan one big group raspberry. Logan screamed and squirmed.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT!!” Logan curled into himself as the three Sides moved away from him. Patton cooed once more.

“My goodness, do I love that smile.” Logan blushed.

“Uhm… okay. Maybe, just maybe, I… needed that. Thank you.” Logan whispered. Roman smiled.

“No problem at all, Logan. Just know that we’re here to help if you need it. Don’t be ashamed to ask any of us. We won’t judge you.” Roman reassured.

“He’s right, L. You already do so much for us and Thomas. There’s no need for you to spread yourself so thin that we need to resort to what we just did.” Virgil chuckled as Logan sat up.

“Yes well, that’s very, very kind of you all. I’ll keep this in mind the next time I’m working. I promise.” Logan said smiling. Patton started bouncing in place.

“Oh my goodness, breakthrough!” Patton lunged forward and started attacking Logan’s face with kisses as he listened to Logan laugh his head off and push his head away. When Patton finally backed off, Logan’s tummy started growling.

“‘Not hungry’ huh?” Roman raised his eyebrow and smirked. Logan looked away, slightly ashamed for lying.

“I may be a bit famished… Uh Patton?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Do you think, if it’s not too much trouble, you can make some of your spaghetti? Please?” Patton smiled and kissed Logan’s cheek one final time before walking to the kitchen.

“It’s no trouble at all, kiddo.”

“Movie time!” Roman and Virgil yelled as they both picked up Logan again and ran towards the couch while carrying him. Logan again let out those wonderful and rare laughs.

Patton watched adoringly as they dropped him on the couch and jumped onto it themselves laughing up a storm. Patton snapped and all three Sides were in their favorite onesies. Roman started ‘punching’ Logan’s sides as he tried to fight back. Virgil picked Roman up off Logan and wrestled him on the couch. All having the time of their lives until dinner was ready.

“Please be careful, kiddos!” Patton shouted over with a smile, true paternal fashion they all loved.

“Okay!”

#fanfic #sanders sides tickle #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #ler!roman #ler!virgil #ler!patton #lee!logan #tickle fic #tickle community

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btssunnyboy · 5 years

Text

Happy Holidays- BTS

Happy Holidays consists of too many gifts and a gift sweeter then a gingerbread house.

Word Count - 3,571

Warning - lots of fluff, worried about significant others,. A gingerbread house mishap. Can you guess who caused it?

ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK IT IS REALLY APPRECIATED!

Masterlist

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The weather outside was definitely frightful. The blizzard was building in strength and it was making your body build up with worries. The boys had left almost two hours ago to get some last minute supplies. No matter how hard you begged and pleaded they promised they'd be more then careful and be back within the snap of a finger. Two hours ago and your lovers had yet to walk through that big wooden door.

You could feel your nails growing thin from the numerous amounts of times you've slightly bitten them. The blanket around your shoulders was providing little warmth as you stayed glued to the window sill. Just hoping and praying that the familiar black Cadillacs would pull into the driveway. You could feel the slight tears swelling up in your glossy eyes. Terrible thoughts clouded your already messy mind, just adding to the stress. Images of car wrecks and the boys heavily injured made your stomach drop.

You just wanted your boys home and you'd do anything to see them walk through that door. The time flashing on the clock was just slightly away from striking midnight. Your chest was getting tighter as the minutes passed. Even though you eyes were growing heavy, you never left that small sill. You needed to stay because you hoped they'd be home soon.

Just as your weak eyes were about to finally close for the night, blinding headlights shot through the foggy glass of the window. With a mind still in a sleepy haze the source of the lights never registered in your head until loud knocks banged against the wood. Hastily throwing the purple blanket against the floor, you ignored the sting of the cold tiles against your feet. You yanked the door open and was greeted with the sight of three red nose and puffy eyed men. Without thinking you raced through the snow and towards the trunk of the cars. A tight grip around your waist pulled you back as quickly as you stepped one foot in the snow.

"Baby, stay inside you'll get sick." Jimin spoke as he teeth chartered wildly in his mouth. His lips practically shaking as he wobbled into the house. "They're fine, just getting some bags."

You gripped tightly at the yellow bags in his hands and set them down in the kitchen floor. A small gasps left your lips the moment I've cold hands sneaked underneath your shirt.

"You're gonna freeze the poor girl!" Jin chattered as well as he blew hot air into his hands. His red nose running almost wildly as he made his way towards the fire place.

You gripped Jimin tightly as you buried your face in his shoulders. You wiped underneath your eyes as you pulled away. "I thought something horrible happened I was so worried. Now go get those snow covered clothes off and put something warm on."

He nodded his head as he passed the simple message on. The moment all the boys made their way up the stairs to their rooms you started pulling out the containment's in the bags. Wrapped a little sloppy, but nonetheless wrapped gifts stored within the bags. A small smile graced your face when a few gingerbread house kits were spotted as well.

"Those idiots risked their lives for a gingerbread house." You smiled as your fingers traced over the gumdrops decoration on the box.

"You wanted it so we went and got it!" Hoseok sniffed as he wrapped his arms around you. His icy body finding comfort in your soothing warm presences. "Yoongi was up for the idea, in fact he even suggested it."

"What about all the wrapped gifts?" You questioned while trying to fix the boys the hot chocolate. Turning the stove down to let the milk simmer.

"We...um about that, we knew you didn't want a lot of things, but we all found so many pretty things that would look absolutely amazing on you!" Hoseok rambled as he quickly dismissed himself to find the cups. An uneasy smile came over his face as he watched you. Not a single sound coming from you.

"You guys buy me enough stuff as it is, I couldn't get you all a lot this year." You sighed, and down casted your eyes. Guilt coated your body like a blanket, they spoiled you with anything and everything. You wanted new shoes, done, new clothes, done. You on the other hand worked at a small department store and it didn't pay very much. Hence the reason you could only afford two gifts for each of them.

"Princess, none of us care if you got us anything or not, all we ever want is you. Holiday or not you're always our present." An embodied voice called from the other room. Before you knew it a hand was spinning you around to face them. A gentle kiss was soon given to your waiting lips as well. It was almost deepen if a cleared throat didn't catch Namjoon's attention.

"Me and Joon got the cups go get settled in with the others. We'll try not to drop them." Hoseok nudged his head towards the living room where the rest of boys were longing to have you back in their arms. "And I'll make Jungkook put the presents under the tree."

"Already on it." Jungkook softly smiled as he placed a chaste kiss to your temple before grabbing the multiple bags. Who new the boy was strong enough to carry so many. You laughed lightly at the thought of him taking on so much exercise just to show off with some shopping bags. "Go and sit down the Christmas movies are already playing."

You gave a quick nod before making your way towards the four boys scattered about in the living room. "Who decided to go out and do some last minute shopping."

Everyone's eyes widen as they were sudden more interested in the movie then your harsh glare. No one spoke up as they forcefully laughed as the character slid through the snow on the tv. You tapped your foot impatiently as the room grew stiff with uneasiness. They said this was a last minute food run and return with hundreds of dollars worth of gifts apparently all of you. "You guys know I how I feel about this."

"We know baby, but -" Jimin tried to explain before you cut him off.

"I know you guys care, but I saw the tags! You went to a freaking Gucci store this late for a gift!" You rambled, upset simply by a Christmas gift. No ill intentions were thought when they got the gifts, they just wanted to see that gorgeous smile on your face. And they thought in order to see that smile on Christmas Day they'd get you something you wanted so dearly.

"We didn't mean to make at us." Taehyung said, his eyes clouded over in what looked like sadness. He fiddled with his fingers as he scooted further away from you on the couch. His movements stopped midway when your hand clasped over his big ones. "Baby...I."

The moment his voice crack you threw yourself in his arms. Taehyung was always a bit more sensitive when it came to you. He done everything in his power — they all did — to make you the happiest women alive. The thought of you being mad at him broke him entirely. "I just thought a smile matching gift would make you happy."

"Honey I'd be happy with a homemade card if it was from you. I don't need expensive things all I need is my precious is my boys. I cannot stress that enough." You mumbled into his neck as he held you tighter. His lips ghosting over the smooth skin in an attempted to keep him calm. "I love you."

He only wrapped his arm tighter around you as he pulled your body up to straddle his waist. The fact that this was a normal position no one batted an eye as they watched, neither did Hoseok or Namjoon when they finally entered with the warm drinks.

"So are you still mad at us?" Yoongi spoke as he reached for your hand. You rolled your eyes playfully as you let he intertwines them together. "Take that as a no."

"Of course I'm not mad, I melt the moment any of you put your hands on me. I just ask that next year you don't go so over board." You suggested as you pulled yourself off of Taehyung and settled between him and Yoongi.

"We make no promises, Love." Jin smiled as he happily slipped on his beverage. "Can't wait for tomorrow!"

"I noticed the gingerbread houses." You smiled as you tried to change the atmosphere.

"We'll work on those later today, but for now let's just watch our movie." Yoongi smiled as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms. "I love you so much, Y/n."

"I love you so much." You smiled as you pulled his head towards you. A seemingly sweet kiss soon turned heated the moment his hand slipped to your neck.

"Get a room."

"Don't mind if we do."

»»————-　✼　————-««

You didn't remember falling asleep or how you wound up in the soft confinement of your bed. With a heavy arm, more like arms, draped across your body. The heat radiating from their body with enough to almost smother you. You gave Yoongi and Jimin small pecks on their forehead before maneuvering underneath their iron grips. It was a miracle they didn't pin you down in their sleep, it's happened multiple times before.

"Geez Louise, look at the bottom of the tree." You gapped as you looked onward to see the stack of gifts practically multiple from last night. There were so many that the small space underneath the tree was so full the rest of the gifts were piled in stacks beside the tree. Stacks meaning definitely more then more.

"Come on, we're making the gingerbread houses!" Hoseok enthused when he spotted your figure at the doorway of the kitchen. His hands grasped your and pulled you swiftly towards the kitchen. "Not so fast."

"I didn't even do-" The sentence was cut short as soft lips were hastily placed against yours. You didn't protest as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands rubbed small circles against your clothed hips as he brought you closer. If that was even humanly possible. Sadly, you had to pull away due to the lack of oxygen. Before you could even asked Hoseok pointed a finger upwards. A small little treat was hung right in the doorway.

That little treat was something the boys loved to place around the house, in every place they possibly could. It was a tradition, they'd like to say. While you believed it was an excuse to kiss you every

Mistletoe.

Before you could even step another foot a soft hand cupped your face. Those familiar dark brown eyes that always held a mischievous glint, were staring lovely at you. "I'm next." Compared to Hoseok, Jungkook's kiss was more slow instead of a rush. A nice change, but you loved the feeling of both their kisses either way. Besides they both always left you with a longing feel for more. It was an effect all of them has over you.

"Okay time to see if we understand what we're doing!" You smiled giddily as you dragged him closer. The next hour consisted of many mishaps with icing which resulted in your hair having more then just frosted tips. "Yay! We're done!"

For once the three of you made something decent instead of a horrendous mess. A simple gingerbread house decorated with many pink and purple gumdrops, as well as the occasional candy cane. Most importantly the little iced gingerbread men. You all would've had more if a little brat would've kept his hands out of the treat bag.

"I love how this is what I wake up to." Jin said, sleep still evident in his scratchy voice. His eyes still drooping as he walked towards the fridge. Not before giving a peck to each of you. "By the way Namjoon is about to come in here, I'd clean up that icing if I were you."

"I'll go get the cleaning supplies." You stated as you rushed towards the bathroom. You quickly searched through the bottles underneath the sink and hastily grabbed your towel. You loved Namjoon, but the boy was practically a walking disaster. Having that icing on the floor would only add to the chaos that he could cause. "Oh come on!"

"I swear it was an accident!"

You softly sighed to yourself. The gumdrops were scattered about, the small little splotch of icing on the floor was accompanied by a lot more then the white icing that glued the pieces together. The gingerbread men as well as the entire house was in shambles on the floor. A whole hour and a half of work down the drain. Good thing they bought more then one kit.

"I told you to clean it up." Jin protested as he got his water and bolted out of the kitchen. He saw his chance to avoid this mess and he knew better not ignore his chance of escaping.

"Get the other one?"

"Get the other one. And make sure he stays out of the kitchen!"

»»————-　✼　————-««

"I'm still so sorry about the house." Namjoon glumly said. A sad smile plaguing his soft features. The expression alone made your heart strings pull with guilt. You know he didn't mean it and you should've been nice when you asked him to leave.

"Honey it's fine. I know you didn't do it on purpose, besides we still had at least three more kits!" You tried to cheer him up and so far it didn't seem like it was working. You laid him across your lap as your small fingers made laps through his silky hair. The contentment in his smile made it clear is enjoying this. "I'm sorry I got upset."

"I'm not that little egg killed our gingerbread men!" Jungkook stated with a scoff as he stared at the two of you. A small glare delivered by you seemed to do the job of shutting him up really quickly.

"Enough with the tension who's ready to open a gift!" Taehyung suggested as he slid his way over to the bottom of the tree. His eyes gleaming with joy when he noticed one with his name on it. With a second he grabbed random names and passed them all out. A small smile of happiness grazed everyone’s face.

“Tae, are you sure something like this is for me?” Namjoon questioned as he raised his eyes a him. At the same moment Taehyung’s eyes widen comically as he took another quick peek at the back of the tree.

“I’m sure it’s for you, Hyung.” Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief. The action making you slightly suspicious and worried. You should’ve know Namjoon wouldn’t like such a small gifts. “Well what are you waiting for open them!”

Everyone tore into the gifts without hesitation and awed at each and every single one.

“My knight and shining armor?” Namjoon laughed as he read the incrusted words on the inside of the ring. It didn’t seem like a laugh of amusement, but a laugh of mere happiness. “Princess?”

“I just thought it would be a cute gift, since your only nickname for me is princess. I’m sorry I should’ve gotten you something more flashy you probably think it’s stupid.” You stifled a heartbreaking sigh as you looked down at him in your lap. His familiar touch was felt on your face as he cupped your cheek.

“This is the most sweetest gift I have ever received. I love it.”

“You’re not just saying that so my feelings don’t get hurt are you?” You accused while smiling softly at him. He smiled that heart melting smile and suddenly you were putty in his hands.

“I can now have a piece of you whenever we’re gone.” He spoke in mellow voice sounding like heaven in your ears.

“I hope mines from you, but we all know what I really want.” Jungkook beamed as he ripped out the package. His eyebrows creased in confusion as he stared at the small, empty brown box.

“You’ll get yours after the storm settles down.” You smiled. The bunny smile he was so lucky to have shines brightly. “But no huge ones.”

“Wait you’re actually getting the tattoos with me!” Jungkook bellowed as he races towards you. His hands cupping your face as he planted multiple kisses across your forehead, cheeks, nose and finally your mouth. His teeth grazing yours slightly due to the speed at which he delivered those chaste kisses. “I thought you hated needles! Please don’t do this if you’re only doing it to make me happy.”

“Kookie, I’m doing because I want to and getting cute matching ones with you would make it even better.” You said, trying to calm his worries. “I love you, bunny.”

“I love you, baby. Now open your gift.”

Namjoon raised straight up as the other began to form a small crowd around you. A small laugh of amusement echoed sounded like music to their ears when it passed your lips.

“Diamond earrings, wow they’re gorgeous.” You stated amazed at the sight of the lights sparkling off of the surface. The small glimmer making flecks reflect on your eye. The sight alone made all of them fall deeper in love with you. You were stunning in every aspect according to them. “Who bought these.”

“I did, also comes with something that matches.” Yoongi raised his hand slightly. His gummy smile becoming wider when you placed a kiss to his cheek. The boy with a sucker for all those sweet kisses you gave him. “I hope you like them.”

“I adore them, Yoongi, now where’s the matching item.” You tried to get up only for a hand to push you back down. Many protests were sounded through the room. “Humph, why can’t I have the matching item guys!”

“Our tradition is one present before Christmas that is your one present.” Hoseok stated. “Remember you’re the one who made the rule.”

“Well I didn’t think anyone would actually follow it.” You huffed as you crossed your arms and flung yourself back on the couch.

“You always got onto us if we even looked at another gift!” Taehyung added as he rubbed small circles on your thigh. His nails giving your skin a pleasurable scratch. “Besides only a few more hours until Christmas is here!”

“We can pass the time by watching those movies finally.”

»»————-　✼　————-««

They all stared at your sleeping form with peaceful smiles across their faces.

“Should we wake her up?” Jimin asked as he ran his hands through your hair. “After we go over the plan.”

“We leave the present for last and tell her it’s from all of us.” Jin stated as he took the familiar red, velvet box and hid it in the back of the tree. They really hoped this question didn’t take you off guard, and made you say no. That small word would absolutely send all their worlds crashing down in despair.

“Princess, wake up its Christmas!”

“It’s about damn time.”

You rubbed the cold from your eyes as you pulled yourself up. Eyes almost immediately darting towards the present filled floor. They gave a knowing smile as you quickly got in front of the lit up tree. Hands just grabbing away at random presents.

“I still can’t imagine how much money you all must’ve spent on these.” You softly spoke as you pulled the paper from one of the gift bags.

“For you, we’d spent a lot more then this.” Jungkook stated without hesitation as he pulled you between his legs. You softly leaned into his touch out of habit. “You still have one more gift to open.”

“I don’t see anymore.” You strained your neck to look over the couch and noticed nothing. The sight before you when you turned your head back around made your heart drop.

“Remember how I said the earrings had a matching item, well it matches, but it had a different purpose.” Yoongi cleared his throat as they got down on the floor. You couldn’t help the tears that were starting to gather in your eyes.

“Listen I know the seven of us are a handful, you have ever right to say no. But y/n we’ve all come to the conclusion that you mean the entire world to us and we want you as something more then a girlfriend. We want to establish the fact we’re a family. Would you complete our family and become our wife.”

The sob in your throat escaped before you could retain it. You launched yourself forward into Yoongi’s arms and he wrapped you up without a second thought.

“Oh god, I hope that’s a good sob.” Jin panicked, when it suddenly got loud. Everyone took a cautious step towards you. They were worried you hated them now, they were worried you were gonna pull away from Yoongi and declare those whole thing to be madness in the making.

“Nothing would make me happier, yes absolutely.”

“We love you.”

“I love you all with everything in me and nothing is going to change that.”

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curlytemple · 4 years

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niche interests list

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me!

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies.

sugar creek gang

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes.

the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully)

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect.

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth.

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation.

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.

#with the baby obsession came an obsession with adoption #my aunt and uncle adopted and when i learned that there were ORPHANS whew #i was in preschool judging people for getting pregnant when there were SO many babies without mommies #she had a good point!#also does being a niall girl in 2012 count

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lockdownuk · 4 years

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Lockdown Diary Part 2

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 31: I went to Tesco’s at Hampton at @8pm. It was weird. But I made it less weird by buying (amongst all the legit stuff I needed and some stuff for Karen’s mum) more booze. I have, atm about 30 assorted cans and 60 assorted bottles. I’m gonna stop buying booze now until I’m down to the last dozen. I don’t want owt to happen and I leave many behind!

Day 32: More than a calender month! I was rung up by a recruitment agent today about a contract with DHL as a remote support engineer to their aviation section. €400 a day! I’ve applied. Few beers tonight, watching a new Netflix release (Extraction) and catching up with Fog, Ham, Andy and Rog later at 10:30pm - yikes, might be pissed.

Day 33: Typing this on day 34. Dossed around during the day, few beers and another video call with fog, Ham and Rig plus I invited John Monk along. He was his usual self and signed off from the call with a moonie! Later on I had the pleasure of Scottish Louise video calling me! She was pissed, in her shed drinking den at her home with some neighbour called Ronnie and her daughter Ellie. She was her usual outrageous self who imaprted such gems as “Tim, you look old” and “Roger on coke is the only time I’ve taken it up the arse”. Nice.

Day 34: Today I skyped Laurie and ‘met’ Matthew and Nicholas for the first time. It was bloody fantatsic. Janine was there as well.I cannot believe it takes lockdown (plus an idea to get Laurie to add me to his regular Monday skype chat with Dad) that managed to get us doing something that should have happened years ago! It was so great to talk to them all face-to-face. Janine hasn’t changed a bit, Matthew is very quiet with Nicholas being the more gregorious twin. And Laurie is still Laurie. I’m reminded of how much I sort of miss him! It was all so comfortable. I loved it! Tomorrow is Dad’s 85th hence the 3-way chat idea. I hope it comes off!

Day 35: So dad and Laurie and I skyped. It was OK but my video feed was very dark, (still dunno why) and Lauire’s kept freezing. I dropped out so as to leave them to it, my thinking being the extra person takes up bandwidth, with the promise I’d call dad later. Before I could, Rita called me and suggested Dad and I skype, which we did. So, all in all, a good day of comms! And Dad seems his happy usual self - 85 years old! Amazing.

Day 36: I am really struggling to motivate myself this week. Today, I’ve done fuck all of note. That is all.

Day 37: A similar day to yesterday. All I have really managed to do is lay down audio from Pink Floyd (Absolutely Curtains) to a video I shot of a cow on yesterday’s walk. I am having a downer of a week without any good reason why, ld aside. I have worn my new walking boots today (’cos my old ones are leaking, I found out yesterday) and they fucking hurt, despite having tried to wear them in for months, albeit pathetically. Also, a few days ago (Friday 24th April), I got notification from HM Revenue & Customs that I’m getting tax rebate (from 2018-19) of £392. Yay!

Day 38: I received notification today that I’ve got a speeding ticket…last Thursday back from Tesco’s - 87mph somewhere between the A1 and Elton. I am hoping it’s a fixed penalty. I dunno whether it is yet, I just have to send the form off confirming it’s my car and I was driving. I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords asking her to ask for a rent reduction before I sign for another year. Plus, I let her know that I will be Howard and Sue’s eyes as the look at rental properties in Oundle - I do hope they return although it would be a shame for them that their plans have been scuppered (she’s lost her job in Oz due to Covid-19)

Day 39: Today I started another piece of exercise - up and down the stairs 26 times. Not sure why 26 - it was some thing online to do with the London Marathon, I think. It fucking killed. I used 13 clothes pegs for a counting system. I asked Karen to pick up some stuff when she was shopping (burgers, radishes) - Dan dropped them off, He was with Shaggy (driving his van) and going to see Jonah. That pisses me off - they should be social distancing, ffs.

Discoevered, today, that Cornershop, post-Brinful are fucking excellent. listening to the album ‘England is a Garden’ as I type.

Day 40: That 26 times up and down the stairs is fucking hard. I did videos about it today. My legs are aching like fuck right now.

Day 41: Just done Young Sam’s (Sam Clews) quiz. 3rd week running and it’s now become a habit and something I look forward to. Out of all the internet driven socialising I’m undertaking in ld, this is the weirdest - I feel totally detatched from all others taking part but, now, would feel pissed off if I didn’t or couldn’t join in. I got 47/70 this week. My best score and only about 8 off the winning score - most others aren’t doing it on their own!

Today’s walk was a cloudy one - I captured some fine, dramatic pics of the clouds. I am getting into this photography lark, albeit very amateurish. But, when I post any pics online (mostly FB), they seem to be widely appreciated, which is nice.

Day 42: Applied for a remote service delivery job with a firm called TTEC. £60k. Finished watching The Outsider. The creepiest TV show I have seen in years. Really great use of background music.

Day 43: Finished Mindhunter S2 last night. It’s so good but I cannot quite put my finger on why. Today has been a nothing day apart from day 2 of me not typing the letter ‘e’ in any post or comments on FB for a week. It’s hard.

Day 44: Watch Anna last night. A Luc Besson film that starts a kick-ass suprermodel. It’s right down my street. Today I have been lazy af. I need to pick up my online learning again…tomorrow, maybe! I watched Andy Murray Resurfacing. A documentary on Amazon. Fantastic. What a top man he is. Completely human and completely inhuman!

Day 45: Much talk in the news of possible lockdown relaxation. I am off the opinion we should stay the course until we are completely assured of beathing this thing i.e. a working, widely available vaccine. Dad and I Skyped - he is doing well, as usual. So is Rita. They both seem very happy in lockdown! Today has been a glorious day, weather wise. I had my walkk at 10ish this morming and it was very warm. Hottest day of the year so far I reckon.

Day 46: Bank holiday Friday (75th anniversary of VE day). Nice walk. Chat with Karen letting her know about being caught speeding just in case I am banned and need some out of town shopping. Watched second episode of DEVS by Alex Garland. It’s good and intriguing. Now, @7pm, gonna eat and hit the beers and smokes.

Day 47: Typing this at 15:45 on day 48. I had lots of beers and a good old chat with Rog…

Day 48: Today’s daily press conference was eagerly anticipated today with rumours of a relaxation in lockdown. It seems it was a fuss about nothing with no clear instructions - I didn’t watch it but, skimming the BBC news site, I shan’t be doing anything different over the next few weeks, not that I would anyway - furlough and self isolation are the order of the day and I won’t change that until I am sure it’s safe. Meanwhile people, including Danny flaunt the rules, it’s been pointed out to me plus I know he spends time with Jonah and Marc. It really fucks me off. So, the actions of the few mean I will lock myself down for as long, if not longer, as it takes. Attended Sam Clews quiz again. It passes the time. Also, I had half a scotch bonnet chilli with tea tonight (roasted veg, cous cous and sausages). Ridiculously hot!

Day 49: Received the speaker I ordered a few days ago (from eBay). It’s an AudioPro Addon T10. I got it for a very reasonable price from a German shop. As a result, the power lead isn;t three pin and that has seriously fucked me right off!

Meanwhile, I did my 26 stair climb before my daily walk today. It was easier than usual (surprise surprise) and I did 7km - but that was tough! ‘Cos I am on (yet another) free trial of Amazon Prime, I am ramping up watching stuff available. Last night I watched Booksmart - really nice little film with a great soundtrack. I am listening to Dan the Automater as I type. Today I watched half (3 eps) of The Night Manager and the film ‘The Founder’. The former is a superb series, the latter an OK film about Ray Kroc - the supposed founder of McDonald’s. Except he wasn’t; he was the wrong side of ambitious and a cunt.

Day 50: Stripped the 2 pin cable from the speaker I received yesterday and wired up a 3 pin plug and it worked. Win. And it sounds great. Win-win. Went to go shopping in Hampton but the car wouldn’t start. Loss. But it was the battery so I managed to borrow Karen’s jump starter which worked. Win.

Spent £107. Loss. But just under £40 was booze plus £10 for two big pizzas, two sides (dirty fries) and some dips. Win. Didn’t do any online learning - seriously fucking letting myself down. Loss.

Did my usual walking and 26 stair climb. The latter is hard but defo getting easier. Win. Day 51: Sam’s 51st birthday on day 51 - coincidence! Today I received my face mask from Lou - House of Stewart tartan. I’m pleased with it and that I have got a mask now. I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, just left 09:00, and revisit my web design course. Module 1, lesson 5 and I am fucking stuck. Trying to code an online CV with a side nav bar and I cannot get it to fucking work. Grrrrrr. Later, i got into a FB dispute (easily distracted due to the above) with someone over his statement of fact (Tim Martin’s treatment of Whetherspoons’ employees) when he doesn’t know it’s fact. It probably is, but that is not the fucking point. I wish I could leave these sort of spats alone. I am drinking, at 20:45, peppermint tea as I type. Jeez, what’s happened to me?

Day 52: Well, last night took a swift chnage. Rog message me and, to cut a long story short, I hit the beers, also called Foggy later, got trashed. I got up today at gone 1pm. Sam posted on fb that Paul had forgort her birthday yesterday. Oh dear! The 26 stair climb and walking each day is noticeable for how knackered my legs feel all the time, I noticed today!

Day 53: My birthday! Nice comments and banter of FB. Rachael brought round a bottle of whisky; gobsmacked. Karen popped round some beers and sausage rolls. Sam sent a card, as did dad with a £50 cheque. Dan’s ordering me a pizza later.

Chuffed! Day 54: I went to bed late after a lot of beers, huge pizza and chips, a few smokes and a long call with WWJ and video chats with Fog then Rog. Got up around 1pm and dossed with my usual exercises and I made fish pie with a scotch bonnet. Day 55: Late one last night but up early today (11ish). Really fretting about hospital tomorrow. Nervous anyway but the safety aspect, in terms of Covid-19, isn’t helping.

Day 56: Hospital appointment was just for an eye scan so the consultant can review it. I was very surprised to see how few people were wearing face masks! I did two lots of washing today. (After the hospital) I went to Morrsions, Asda (queue too long though), B&M (queue too long though) then Tesco’s. All to buy a baseball cap ‘cos I’m fucked if I’m going to wet my hair each time I go out and want it to look presentable! In Morrsions (no mens’ clothing apart from underwear!) I stocked up of 10 cans of sugarfree apple Caraboa….I was only thinking of this drink just the other day. Yesterday I finished The Night Manager on Amazon. I liked it a lot but, also, expected much, much more from it consdiering the hype. Hugh Laurie has come a long way from comedy sketches with Stephen Fry!

Day 57:Received an email from Sueanne yesterday asking ( as designated spokesperson for everyone) how I am. The most interestring piece of news in a rather uninformative email was that the US has started to open resorts!

Day 58: I am writing this on Day 59. I started a two walk a day regime. The first walk I do is shorter, around 4km. my aim is to be ready for 1,000,000 steps Diabetic UK challenge (throughout July, August and September). I need to do just under 11,000 steps a day. The relaxation in ld rules makes this achievable. On that score, I am allowed to visit a friend’s house, as long as it’s just the two of us, outside, 2m apart. I went round Karen’s last night. I was desperate to have a Happy Hour (I allow myself a midweek beer - today (well, yesterday) is/was Wednesday!) of sorts with another human (rather than a video chat). I was there for about 2 hours, very enjoyable, and then came home. Then I had usual roasted veg with rice and sausages but I couldn’t eat it. I used half a scotch bonnet rather than the usual birdeye chillis. It was too hot, had to sling it! Had a few more beers and, hence, neglected my diary duties!

Day 59: It’s 01:20am. I don’t know why I am still awake and up, but I am. But, also, I am now going to bed. Nothing else to report, really.

Day 60: Half way through 12 weeks furlough. I was discussing this with Dad and Rita earlier - I am expecting that, at the end of 12 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I hope I’m wrong but I reckon it’s well on the cards. Off to have a beer round Karen’s in a sec which will be pleasant. Just a hour or so. It’s fucking windy today so I shall wrap up!

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #COVID19 #lockdownuk

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cupofteaguk · 6 years

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impressions (m)

summary: Park Jimin has recently been a very active part of your life in a certain avenue (a physical avenue, to be more specific), but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything right? Right?

pairing: jimin x fem!reader

genre: halloween au, friends with benefits au, college au | smut

warnings: mutual pining, sex against a bathroom door, unprotected sex

word count: 5k

It is seven thirty in the evening when the phone rings, a pretty normal thing to occur at a pretty normal time and yet it disrupts the entire flow of how you expected the night to go. Running on a solid hour and a half of sleep does terrible things to your mind, makes your limbs sloppy and your brain turn into fuzz at the simplest thought, your shoulders sore and your eyes burning—all the unfortunate aftermath of forcing yourself to cram out six essays within a night after quite literally waiting until the last minute to get anything done.

Although, to be fair, you’ve had a relatively eventful past few weeks that have consisted of new introductions and plenty of distractions that have done more than enough to pull you away from your assignments and even your day-to-day life and the functioning aspects that come with it. You wouldn’t say that it was (entirely) your fault that such a thing had to come into your life at the time that it had, but you had still encouraged it.

You sigh, moaning and groaning and turning over in your bed that adopts a slightly musky and lemongrass scent, unfamiliar and familiar and sinful and wonderful all at the same singular time—as you reach for the phone. Your eyes are barely able to stay open, for the lids feel heavy as does the rest of your body. You miss the nightstand once, twice, before finally grabbing the phone and bringing the device to your ear.

“Hello?” You grumble, the voice that leaves your lips raspy and terrible and exhausted and the person on the other side of the line winces.

“Ouch, sorry princess did I wake you?”

“Yes,” You protest, rubbing at the inner corner of your eyes so you avoid rubbing off your makeup. “And what did I say about calling me princess?”

“Well, you say I can call you whatever I want when I have my dick in you so I just assumed—!”

“Park Jimin!” You interrupt, sitting up slightly, the words shakening your heart but awakening you just enough so that your eyes don’t feel as heavy anymore.

“What’s wrong?” You can just hear the smirk in his voice and you don’t know if you want to give him the satisfaction of a response or just hang up so you can continue your nap.

But rather, you sigh. “I’m exhausted, Park Jimin, so you better have a good reason for disrupting me from my nap.”

“Ah.” Jimin lets out a noise of acknowledgment and you try to picture his current setting—probably leaning against the wall of his apartment, cradling the phone close to his ear. Maybe he has that delicate softness in his eyes that has only seemed to be reserved for you, especially within the recent weeks. You love that look on him. If you were being entirely honest, there’s a lot of things you love about him to the point where you might be in love with everything about him. And if the pair of you weren’t fucking and weren’t lowkey about the fact that you were fucking, then maybe you could actually summon the will to tell him how you feel. “That’s right. I forgot that you kicked me out last night so you could work on those essays.”

You scoff, falling back atop the covers and closing your eyes. “I didn’t kick you out! You volunteered to leave.” You leave out the part that yesterday had been the third time in the week he had slept the night at your apartment, leaving behind a few pieces of his wardrobe behind with the reassurance that he was probably going to be returning in the next few days. He only ever comes by when he’s horny, but perhaps trying to make that distinction paints this picture that his visits are rare when on the contrary, it seemed as if Jimin was always horny about something. Hence, which is why he was always here.

“For someone who was exhausted a few seconds ago, you seem pretty adamant on how I left your apartment last night,” He teases, but he’s smiling and you know he’s not trying to pick a fight with you. “But,” He starts, voice lowering and there is a touch of concern in the tone. “How did the papers go? You seemed stressed about how many you had to finish.”

Eyes still closed, the corner of your lips quirk up. “It was fine. I’m currently running on caffeine and energy drinks that I was inhaling during the night, but I have everything either printed or submitted and that’s the most important.”

Jimin exhales slightly. “That’s good to hear.”

“So,” You start again. “You gonna tell me the real reason you called? I’m sure it wasn’t just to hear an update about my very boring evening.”

“To be fair, every evening when you can’t suck my dick is boring—for both you and me.”

You roll your eyes, feeling that jerky sensation in your heart and something else in the lower pit of your stomach and you cannot help but curse the boy to the moon and back. Park Jimin is too bold, too good, too knowledgeable in what he does and what he does to you to simply exist the way he does. “Jimin…” You start.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” He backpetals. “Somewhat. But, did you forget what today is?”

“Jimin, if you’re really trying to play this game with me, I’m hanging up the phone.”

“Wait!” He interrupts, the smooth facade of his words dropping momentarily at the thought of you disconnecting the line with him. “No, no, okay. It’s Halloween. Remember Namjoon’s party that you promised you’d show up to?”

You whine, rolling over in bed again. “I’m exhausted!”

“Come over!” He protests as if the physical exhaustion of barely being able to open your eyes doesn’t counts as an excuse for not wanting to leave the apartment. “I’ll bring you all the Monster energy drinks you want! And I’ll buy you McDonalds french fries. And I’ll eat you out.”

You quirk slightly at that, your head tilted up and away from the blanket underneath you. You could use some more energy drinks and salty potatoes. And normally you would pass on having someone in between your legs but Jimin makes you see stars in more ways than one, and his previous comments have done enough to keep you awake for just a few hours longer. College life at its finest, you supposed.

“I’m expecting an extra large order in a private room,” You report, forcing yourself to roll one more time so that your feet can make contact with the carpet of your bedroom. You turn the call towards your speakers, pulling off your grummy high school PE t-shirt and sweatpants for your black jeans with the ripes along the legs and a random shirt you find from the floor. You slip it over your head, too tired and too distracted to notice the distinct material and rather focusing your attention on trying to find matching socks.

You can hear Jimin’s grin on the other side of the line. “Anything for you, princess.”

Does that include you and only you all the time?

You don’t speak the words, however, as you hang up with the promise you would try to show up to the house as soon as possible and Jimin accepts that. You leave the call feeling a little more giddy than you had before picking up the phone.

How does one explain the nature of your relationship with Park Jimin?

You can definitely pinpoint the start of it—a get together featuring mutual friends had been where you first met Jimin, and you could have sworn that the sun shined through him given the contagious merit of his blinding smile and lingering touches of his giggly laughs. You had heard pieces of his reputation through the grapevine of his charming ability to get girls into bed with him, but those previous pep talks with yourself about not needing to rely on a Park Jimin character to have a good time definitely failed you as soon as he opened his mouth to have a conversation with you.

The pair of you got along surprisingly well considering that you thought the spectrum of Jimin’s interests would only be limited to soccer, parties, and which sororities had the hottest girls. But no, there had been more depth to Jimin and his personality. He liked to read. He liked to take isolating walks at a time past midnight. You both happened to like the same shows and the same movies and the same authors. He was unassuming in his passions and you, a romantic with a soft spot for boys who like to read, did not stand a chance.

Throughout the evening, you and Jimin had elected to ditch the party after Jungkook and Taehyung started and continued to engage in a very passionate argument about the realms of Legend of Zelda—allowing the two of you to find refuge in his car as he took you on a little trip to show you one of his favorite views in the city.

An isolated area in a lonely car with just Park Jimin and his bright eyes and rosy cheeks—what would be the most obvious route for both of you to take? Yep.

Let’s just say that Jimin definitely had a lot of experience with engaging in car sex. And, naturally, it was the best orgasm you had ever received even if it was in the small and slightly cramped backseat of his vehicle.

It was Jimin, so you had assumed the hook up was a one and only time despite your own feelings and your own desire to not have things end in that way. And you had assumed Jimin felt differently—at least, until he knocked on your apartment door at three in the morning, three days after the initial hook up, and nailed you on the couch.

That had been three months ago, and still not a singular soul knows about the relationship shared between the two of you. And as long as Jimin is okay with that, you would be okay with that too.

The party is, naturally, in full swing by the time you approach the property line of Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon’s house and if the walk hadn’t officially woken you then the overwhelming smell of alcohol definitely does. The cold autumn air nips at you as you approach the walkway, taking in the people passed out on the front lawn or finding a safe haven away from the madness within the walls.

Everyone is dressed up in costumes, as you sudden flashback to one of the statement’s presented forth by Jimin. Today is Halloween, and you had spent the evening pounding in as many essays as your fingers and mind could physically produce in a way that had left you completely oblivious to the current setting. Halloween is a big deal in a sense that it gives people an even bigger excuse to go out, get drunk, become another identity for the night, which probably explains the party in the first place and why everyone’s spirits seem to be much brighter and alive with cheer and excitement.

You walk in through the already opened door, the conversations loud and mismatched and all over the place, ringing through the atmosphere as you duck in an attempt to avoid getting in the way of big groups and discussions that have nothing to do with you. You move about the familiar space, having been in this apartment on several different occasions—party or no party, you shared a philosophy class with Namjoon and seem to have been invited into his life and all the crazy aspects that come along with it since then—so it doesn’t take you too long to make your way into the living room.

You aren’t expecting to find anyone you know right off the bat, at least not without a phone call or a text message with the inquiry, so you are surprised to enter the new space and have your presence immediately recognized.

“You made it!” Jung Hoseok exclaims, approaching you from his position on the couch. “Nice costume—what are you supposed to be?”

“Oh,” You start, about to brush off his comment and maybe explain the severity of your situation until Hoseok furrows his eyebrows together and meets your gaze.

“Are you dressed up as Park Jimin?” Hoseok inquires. He brings the red solo cup of questionable substance to his lips. “You’re wearing his soccer jersey.”

“Huh.” You look down at the shirt you had slipped on from the floor of your bedroom and truth be told, you are wearing his jersey. You don’t need to see the PARK printed along the back of the shirt to know that this is indeed Jimin’s jersey that he had left behind and you had slid it off following one of his recent practice sessions. You know that you and Jimin have a bit of problem cleaning up before, during, and after your escapees, but you definitely hadn’t expected any of that to come bite you back in the ass like this. This whole situation wouldn’t really be a problem if the world wasn’t supposed to know you and Jimin had the kind of relationship that involved leaving clothes behind at the other persons apartment.

If you told Hoseok that you hadn’t been intending to arrive to the party dressed in Jimin’s shirt, then it definitely wouldn’t take long for the boy to put the pieces together. Hoseok isn’t stupid, far from it actually—so you know that it wouldn’t be rocket science mentality to figure out that the only reason you could have possibly dawned Jimin’s jersey unintentionally is if he had left it behind at your place… also unintentionally. Naturally, no one in their right mind would leave important articles of clothing behind unless they had every intention of returning back for it. And no one would have been removed of aforementioned important article of clothing in the first place unless they had taken the shirt off themselves and yeah, you get the idea.

“Yes,” You find yourself admitting, perhaps a little forcefully and mildly unconvincing, but you straighten out the jersey. “Yes, I am. Jimin, uh, agreed to the idea. I didn’t really know what else to do.”

Hoseok makes a (thankfully) convinced noise from the back of his throat, both of his eyebrows raising, nodding slowly as if this reasoning somehow makes sense. In a way, it almost does. Make sense. Because it’s Halloween—and you’ve never been too good about costumes because the placement of the holiday isn’t too good to fit in between your school schedule. So it’s in your nature to come up with these terrible costume ideas that involve very little executional effort. Like that time you dressed in all black, your natural wardrobe, and bought a witch hat at Party City. Or that time you put on red overalls, a black shirt, and a pair of very at-your-disposal Disneyland ears so you could be Mickey Mouse. It’s like those other times, only it’s this time and you’re dressing up as Park Jimin.

“Hm, that makes sense.” Hoseok turns his head just as the man himself waltzes into the living room. “Park Jimin!” He exclaims, making you and your heart jump as you turn your attention towards him. His gaze finds you first, and the small smirk he sends at you seems to set fire to your nerves. “Jimin, did you know?” He points at you with his pinky figure. “Y/N dressed up as you for Halloween.”

Jimin looks momentarily confused at the observation before he looks over and seems to realize the jersey that you have on. His eyes widen, seeming to remember just as you did that he had left that at your apartment a few days ago.

You give him a look.

He reads you surprisingly well, surprisingly quickly. “Yeah,” He manages smoothly, laughing just enough to send out that disarming half-crescent crease of his eyes. “Yeah, she asked me about it the other day.”

“You do know what this means though, right?” Hoseok inquires, looking back at you.

“No, what does it mean?”

“You gotta impersonate him!” Hoseok exclaims as if this answer should be obvious, and it probably should be. Halloween is about dressing up as something else and by extension, taking on the role of that person as well.

You laugh a little at that, seeing the reason as you tip your head back just enough to momentarily prepare yourself before you angle back down to look at Hoseok and Jimin. “Hi guys,” You greet, raising both your hands in a small little wave. “I’m Jimin, nice to meet you.” You then proceed to comb your hands through your hair in a very extravagant Jimin manner that Hoseok simply bursts out into laughter at the gesture.

“That’s pretty good,” He compliments, clapping Jimin on the back before turning back to you. “C’mon, I’ll make you a drink.”

Still slightly in awe that your little improvisation to trick Hoseok had worked entirely in your favor, you follow him, allowing yourself to give Jimin a look of impressiveness at your own self-amazement. Jimin merely laughs quietly at that, winking at you, letting you brush past him as Hoseok leads you to the kitchen. Hoseok is a naturally social person, and that natural charm drags more and more people towards him and therefore puts more attention on you and your Park Jimin jersey. Jimin is pretty well known around the university, mainly because of his placement and positive reputation on the soccer team, so it’s obvious that peers would take one look at the number and PARK on the back of your shirt and put two-and-two together that you were Park Jimin for Halloween.

And everyone takes it in good strides. They smile, they laugh, they congratulate you for coming up with the funny idea of dressing up as the popular jock, then they ask for the impersonations.

You deliver forth with them. Of course you do. You haven’t been sleeping with Park Jimin—and you haven’t been in love with Park Jimin—for three months not to walk away with the smallest fraction of his personality, his quirks, and the tone of his voice. You blame your feelings and your stupid, stupid crush for being so observant on everything he does and everything he ever did in his life. Like the way he whines about no food being around in the kitchen, or runs his hands through his hair, or throws his body into a fitful of giggles while he’s trying to tell a joke. You do the impressions, people laugh, and compliment you later for doing a good job. “A byproduct, isn’t it?” Kim Namjoon inquires, smirk on his face, right before he downs another shot of whiskey. “Of being friends with Jimin. And, I mean, you’re already a pretty naturally observant person. It works out.”

It definitely works out. If only they all knew.

“Hey you,” Jimin greets, cornering you in the kitchen as you’re attempting to mix together your own little brand of rum and coke. “You’re quite the talk of the evening.”

“You think so?” You inquire, whirling around towards him and showering him with a grin. The alcohol already in your bloodstream makes things a little more fluid, not enough to distort your thinking but enough to make your tongue run a little looser as compared to normal and more sober days. “I try my best.”

“I’m actually pretty impressed,” He continues, leaning against you so you feel the warmth of his body and you feel giddy with desire and just having his attention on you. Three months of exclusive fucking and just a glance from him is still enough to quench your hunger for him. “You’re pretty spot on. It seems like you’ve been keeping your eye on me.”

“I’m just observant,” You retort. “Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. But still, the attention to detail…”

“So?”

“You sure you’re not in love with me or something?”

The question comes quickly but your reflexes are quick too and it’s why you feel the sudden weight of fear and anxiety dig itself right into your chest -- concealed with a casual, wide-eyed look in his direction. “What makes you say that?” You ask.

Jimin shrugs, pressing the palm of his hand into the counter, partially trapping you. “Because I know what you’re like when you’re just observant,” He murmurs, voice low but still keeping enough distance between the two of you so it looks like you’re having a normal conversation—more than enough to remain lowkey about the depth of your intimacy and your relationship. “You’re observant with Hoseok and Namjoon and Jungkook and Karly—but you aren’t that thorough with them.”

“Well, I’ve never had to pretend to be them for Halloween,” You brush off, attempting to level your gaze with Jimin but it’s hard because you’ve never been too successful of a liar around him and he knows it. You try to take a step back, but his fingers curling around your wrist stop you.

“You haven’t fucked any of them before either,” He presses, matching your step back with his own step forward.

You level him with your own attempt of a glare, but it’s casual and not meant to be taken too seriously. Even though your heart is beating just a little quicker at how quickly the conversation has taken a complete, unexpected 180. Your mind is reeling under the turn of events. You hadn’t prepared things to take this direction, so you say the first thing that comes to your mind: “You sure seem insistent on finding out just how in love with you I am.”

How in love with you I am.

How… in love… with Jimin…

You’re in love with Jimin.

And you’ve just said it outloud.

Oh. Fucking. Shit.

You clasp your mouth shut, but it’s too late. The words are out, and even though you haven’t said anything directly, you’ve stated it in such an obvious way that you might as well have just admitted to being in love with Jimin from the beginning. You hadn’t expected yourself to speak, or speak in this way. Your wide eyes and slamming heartbeat are more than enough to go by this.

Judging from Jimin’s own wide eyes, he is equally as taken aback by your confession.

“What did you say?” Jimin suddenly asks, although it’s a stupid question.

You swallow. “N-Nothing…”

“You’re in love with me?”

You try to speak, but like a fish out of water, you can only open and close your mouth a few times to show how truly unprepared you are for this. “Uh… I mean, I just…” You stammer, trying for a shrug but it only comes out one-shouldered and horrible and you feel like you might be sick.

“Come with me,” Jimin interrupts, not giving you much of an option as he guides you out of the kitchen and into the hallway and into the bathroom. You both might have just drawn a crowd towards you, but that is currently the last thing on your mind as you let yourself get dragged into the empty bathroom.

Jimin locks the door, turns back around to face you.

You flicker your gaze between the door and his figure. “Did you lock the door just to reject me or…?”

He interrupts you by covering the small space of distance and pressing you into a hard kiss. He cradles one hand behind your head, the other at your waist, and you can feel so many words attempting to be crammed into the singular gesture.

“A… a rejection kiss goodbye?” You try to guess again when Jimin hasn’t exactly made his feelings clear.

Jimin breath is fanning against your lips. “God no,” He protests. “I’m not rejecting you, you fucking idiot.”

“Oh,” You breathe out, and Jimin decides right then and there that you are done talking because he kisses you again.

He turns you around, slams you against the door of the bathroom, kissing the air right out of your lungs, kissing you in a way that you have never felt before as his hands are everywhere, all over your body until one settles at the small of your back and the other tugging at the waistband of your jeans.

“I never did tell you how hot it is to see you in my clothes,” He breathes out, unbuttoning your jeans as you fumble with his belt. You know exactly where this is going, not needing the context of a love confession to know the familiar signs. “But it’s really hot.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” You return, unbuckling the belt and the jeans and slipping your hand past his boxers, producing his already hot and heavy cock in your hands.

He groans against your lips, tugging down your jeans and underwear until they bunch at your ankles.

“Hurry up, hurry up,” You whimper as you only manage to get one of your legs out of the leg hole of your jeans and underwear before Jimin is grabbing the leg in order to wrap it around his waist. He kisses you hard once, twice, before sliding home. The lack of usual preparation makes the process burn with white hot pleasure. You throw your head back and Jimin easily finds the spot on your neck that makes your head spin.

He nails you hard and heavy, making the door rattle behind you and if someone saw you enter the space they definitely know what’s going on. But you don’t care, if your breathless wailing that definitely pierces through the thin wooden door is anything to go by.

“You’re so good, you’re so good,” Jimin encourages in your ear, pressing sweet nothings into your skin with the occasional nibble along the curve of your neck to make your legs twitch under his hold.

“Shit, I…” You start. “I’m not gonna last… Jimin please…”

A wet thumb against your clit drives you home, makes the stars in the universe and across the galaxy explode behind your eyes like nothing and everything you’ve experienced before. The high of your high keeps you unaware of your surroundings as Jimin finishes himself and rides out both of your orgasms with slightly gentler thrusts.

Your shared panting is the only noise you can hear, the vague laughter of conversation behind you suddenly a small whisper like a ghost in your ear.

Your heart settles, and Jimin nosing your temple help keep you grounded.

His next words make you smile, send you off on another high that has nothing to do with sex. “I love you too, and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

He kisses you once, twice, and if he hadn’t taken your heart and soul before—then he definitely does now as he tucks himself back into his pants and helps you pull on and button your jeans at your waist. It seems as if now, he cannot stop himself from kissing you and cannot help himself from placing his hand on the small of your back in order to lift the shirt and graze the bare skin just because he can. He kisses you once more, wrapping an arm around your waist, moving slightly to unlock and open the door to the bathroom.

Both of you stop short when Jung Hoseok and Kim Namjoon are resting on the opposite wall, joking about something and laughing all the same until they realize who has emerged from the bathroom.

Hoseok gapes. Namjoon drops the cup from his hands, spilling beer all over the floor. “You guys were having sex in there?” Hoseok demands.

You really hadn’t expected a confession and a reveal all in the same day, so you stammer. “Uh,” You start, waving your hand slightly in an attempt to wave off the conversation from its original axis. “N-No, I wasn’t feeling well so, uh, Jimin was holding my hair back…”

“We heard the noises,” Namjoon interjects dryly, raising an eyebrow in judgment to your poor lying skills.

“Then, in case, yeah we were having sex,” Jimin cuts in breezily.

“Jimin!” You cut in, appalled that he would reveal the information so easily without any sort of fight. This is surprising considering how adamant he had been about keeping the aforementioned sex lowkey.

“What?” He inquires, pulling you closer to his body. “I thought we loved each other — shouldn’t we share with the world that we are two amazing people having amazing sex?”

“You guys are in love?” Hoseok inquires, raising his eyebrows, looking surprised at the turn off events. “We didn’t even know you were sleeping together and turns out you were in love this whole time? Jimin, what the fuck I thought we were friends?”

“We just found out today that we’re in love,” Jimin brushes off, turning his attention to you and brushing the hair out of your face. “Well, you know, since we’re in love and all that jazz, that means I don’t have to think twice about doing this.” He leans forward, kissing you in a way that’s more a light graze but like every other kiss before, it sets fire to your nerves and makes everything from the tip of your fingers to the tip of your toes feel alive.

“Aw, c’mon, we don’t need to see that!” Hoseok crows.

“I told you we should have just kept walking when you heard the door banging!” Namjoon protests.

Hoseok’s glare could cut glass. “You were the one who wanted to stay!”

Namjoon ponders this for a second. “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

“We probably should have been lowkey about this for a little while longer,” Jimin grumbles against your lips, the bickering between Namjoon and Hoseok escalating quickly.

You laugh. “It’s endearing.”

#jimin scenario #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin smut #jimin x you #bts scenario #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader #traci writes #peek-a-boo series

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snarkandsarcasmftw · 4 years

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tag games, ftw

I was tagged by both @rampagewriting and @heelsamizayn to answer this and it seems like a fun time and my brain’s being a bag of dicks rn, so whhhhy not... Here we go.

0) Name/Nickname? If ya wanna share it.

Ashley, AA, Snark - mostly on here. Oh and lil bit, but... family only.

1) If you could bring any two fictional characters (from books or film/tv) into the same world who would they be, what world would you put them in, and what would their relationship to each other be?

Uhhh... Uhhh... Okay, alright, hm... This is going to be an unconventional answer but.. I’d take Bucky and Cap and I’d drop them right into the middle of The Walking Dead. Hear me out.. They’re both military trained / enhanced superheroes and they can walk that line of having compassion and being totally ruthless if they must. I think it’d be neat. They’d be friends / psuedo brothers, of course.

2) If you could drop yourself into any fictional world from books or film/tv, which would it be?

Oh god, oh noooo.. Every part of the fifteen year old trapped within my old woman body is screaming at me to answer Harry Potter -cos magic.. But.. I’m going with The Walking Dead. Just for the simple fact that I could smack both Lori and Dale Horvath in the back of the fuckin head.

Alternately.. I’d really wanna hunt vampires with Edgar and Allen Frog, and the eighties were my shit, so.. That too.

3) What’s your spirit animal?

A cat or a raccoon. I have under eye circles, stay up late, eat only junk and I’ll bite if you take my food plus kinda chonky ( raccoon) and I like to take naps, I’m... adamant about cleaning / grooming plus, I like to sit around and give people side eye when they’re doing dumb shit. ( cat.)

4) What is the most unpopular opinion you hold?

NO. NOPE. NOT ANSWERING. ISSA TRAP.

Okay, since I obviously have to put something here, I’ll say it. And I’ll start with wrestling:

Seth Rollins is vastly overrated and I don’t get the whole.. Attraction to him. And the same goes for Cody Rhodes. Also, is it just me or are his fucking intros too long? Idk, maybe that’s me and my lack of patience. If you like either of these, sorry, continue to do you, but.. I’m not a fan and I honestly don’t particularly care about either and this is my own personal opinion. I’m allowed to have one. I’m not saying bad shit about either guy here, if you take it that way, it’s your own damn problem? I’m not telling you not to like them. I’m simply saying I do not.

As far as media goes : Fifty Shades of Gray is fucking dumb. I mean.. 10 page contract.. to get what has to be mediocre dick, at best? And it’s not even written with any regards to true BDSM concepts for the most part? Nah. I’ll pass.

And now, for one about our current situation: I think the idiots who hoarded TP at the beginning of this should be allowed to return things.. Provided it’s unopened, they have a receipt, and they don’t see a fucking dime of the money they spent and that the money from the returns goes to masks / other methods of protection for front line workers or straight into the unemployment packages and the stimulus thing. Like literally, the hoarder gets nothing, people who need TP / sanitizer / etc get UNOPENED NEW PRODUCTS and the front line workers get the proceeds of the voided returns. We all win here. (I realize this probably cannot happen, but. It’s one way to kind of... help this current shit show we’re all trapped in.)

5) How do you like to style your hair most often?

Uhh.. Down. I’m too goddamn lazy to be bothered.

6) I always love this overdone question - you’re allowed three books on a desert island, what do you bring? (Note: Survival Guides don’t count).

The Shining, The Dark Towers series - Stephen King, The Client - John Grisham and The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

7) Something new you’ve learned in quarantine/lockdown/corona times?

That no matter how hard I try, I cannot apply false lashes. That more than two noisy things going in the background is TOO MUCH. Oh and I’m pretty damn good at baking when I bother to try / don’t toss out the directions.

8) Favorite alcohol? (Or non-alcoholic beverage if you don’t drink!)

Haven’t drank in... a while-ish. But my favorite thing to drink when I do is vodka or tequila. Occasionally White Claw ( i know, i know.). Favorite non-alcoholic beverage is water lately.

9) Music you can’t stand? Music you love?

I’m gonna get torn the fuck apart for this but yolo.. I can’t get into K-Pop. I’ve tried. It’s just.. It’s up there with new pop for me. Older boy bands / pop stars? Not a problem. I just don’t like a lot of pop music and I can’t get into K-pop. If you like it, awesome. It’s just not for me personally. Beyond that? I love literally any other kind of music. I have a veeeery varied eclectic listening preference but my all time favorite? 80′s glam / pop or country.

10) Have a favorite herb?

FIRST OF ALL.. GARLIC.. yeah, it’s not a herb buuuut... yeah.. Anyway, for actual herbs..Basil, Rosemary and Sage.. Oh and cilantro. Cilantro will save your ass in a pinch.

11) What kinds of cups/glasses/bottles do you prefer to drink out of?

My big tol cold cup. Or.. my stemless plastic wine glasses, of which I have apparently lost.

12) Preferred mode of communication: texts, phone calls, emails, letters?

Text or email. I’m not... fond of making calls, but I will if I have to. I prefer texts or email. Oh, I do enjoy writing letters now and then.

13) What is your favorite weather?

Not too hot, not too cold. Not too sunny but not overcast and gray either. A light breeze. NO POLLEN.

14) What kind of lighting do you like?

Softer lights, for the aesthetic.. Overhead lighting, so my blind ass can... yannow... see. If I had my way, I’d have candles and string lights every where though.

15) What is the best thing you cook?

Honestly, I feel like it’s my chili or my stew. Alternately, husband seems to ask for chicken / bacon / ranch pasta casserole a lot, so... Idk.. I guess pretty much anything (except fucking hamburger helper, i can NEVER get this shit right, despite directions, sacrifices to the culinary gods and pleas/promises of my first born. It always turns out icky so I never cook it.)

16) Do you have a favorite font to write in?

Handwriting or typewriter fonts for the most part. Roboto when I’m writing / editing my own fics and such.

17) What is something you’ve always wanted to write in a fic, but you’ve been too afraid to? Or, what is something that you were afraid to write, but then you did and it ended awesome?

Honestly, I’m scared to death to write smut. Which is why I’ve been trying to write more of it lately. I won’t say it’s going awesome ( I’m pretty sure some of you sit and read it when I post and are like what the fuck... this isn’t realistic and this is so bad.) but it’s going.

I’ve wanted to dip my toes into writing for more obscure fandoms too. Like ones that I personally enjoy. As far as something I’ve always wanted to write? Horror. But I’m scared to death I’d fuck it up.

18) If you were in your favorite fantasy world, what would your weapon of choice be?

A sword or a knife. Machete, maybe?

19) Is there a commonly used expression/saying that you can’t stand?

While I agree with the answers J and K put to this “It’s in God’s hands, etc” - sometimes things are GOD AWFUL. The last thing I want to hear is what the reason God had for doing it is. So don’t tell me.

Triggered is a useful term.. if it’s used right. And I’m starting to realize that 95 percent of people DO NOT know the proper use. They think that being triggered =‘s a reason to bitch and tear someone apart over some miniature thing they’ve done. So now, when I hear it being misused, it fucking annoys me.

20) What is something that you would like people to know about you?

I’m a grumpy ball of rage. I’m petty as fuck and saltier than all the oceans combined in the right circumstances. But.. I can be a nice person and I love getting to know people and helping people or talking to them. Even if it’s hard for me to start it off bc I’m fucking awkward as fuck also - hence the reason it takes a while for me to actually... attempt... conversing with new people both IRL and on here.

I’m gonna leave this open to anyone who wants to do it bc Idk who has or hasn’t already and I don’t want to annoy people.

This was a blast!

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jbuffyangel · 5 years

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Undeserved Forgiveness: Arrow 7x18 Review (Lost Canary)

After seven years and 150 episodes (yes, I math’d it) Arrow has finally paid off a L*urel L*ance storyline in a way that makes sense and feels earned.

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

Sometimes the Arrow writers are so obtuse about their audience it boggles my mind. Then there are other times when they are so self aware I can’t help but laugh. “Lost Canary” is one of those self aware moment. It’s almost as if the writers said to themselves, “Okay. This episode is gonna be a lot about birds so we better give the audience some Olicity goodies to keep them happy.”

Smart move.

Arrow has to ship the boys off somewhere in order to have their all girls episode. Rene is off with Zoe on a school field trip while Oliver and Diggle try to find the person who killed Emiko’s mother, so they can convince her not to be evil. Or something? I think? It boils down to a interrogation of a Longbow Hunter. Yeah, remember the Longbow Hunters? Who knew they were still a thing? Not me.

It’s kind of fantastic all the guys are stuck with monumentally crappy storylines while the ladies have their moment in the sun. Ah the gloriousness of reversing gender roles.

Anywho, Oliver is going to leave Felicity which means WE GET WORRIED DADDY!

Oliver begs Felicity to take it easy.

Pffft, it’s like he’s never watched Arrow before. Dude, know your genre.

Felicity promises she’s going Netflix and chill. Oh girl, you totes just jinxed it.

And then it happens. Oliver rubs his stomach and says...

Source: olicitygifs

April 15, 2019 will hence forth be known as Precious Cargo Day in the Olicity fandom. We shall drink and sing in merriment while binge watching Olicity moments in celebration of this blessed day. For this is the day fan fiction came to life.

We’re five minutes and twelve seconds into this episode and I already think it’s fantastic.

After Oliver returns from his Longbow Hunter thing (Seriously don’t ask me what happened)

and Felicity returns from saving a soul and giving Earth 2 a hero to fight for them, our wonderfully stable and unproblematic married couple cuddle on the couch. Honestly, I don’t understand why Olicity snuggling and watching Netflix isn’t a hit show? It’s Emmy award winning entertainment.

Source: olicitygifs

Felicity was away from Oliver for a day and she practically ran into her husband’s arms, so I really don’t know how homegirl is gonna do twenty years without him. It hurts to think about, so let’s focus on the happy.

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver wants to order whatever Felicity is craving because he’s determined to be fictional perfection so no one can have realistic expectations of non fictional men. Felicity informs him L*urel is going back to Earth 2. He doesn’t care. I cannot describe to you how much Oliver Queen doesn’t care about any version of L*urel L*ance.

Once again I reflect upon the road we have traveled my friends. I don’t know how we got here, but our destination is glorious.

Worried Daddy is far more concerned that Felicity didn’t take it easy as she promised, but no worries the Green Arrow is here!

Oliver promises to take care of Felicity and then promptly falls asleep on her shoulder because he’s so exhausted.

Yup, that pretty much sums up the first trimester right there. You’re pregnant but you’re husband is the exhausted one.

She finagles a foot rub out of half asleep Oliver and they both collapse. MAX DOMESTICITY ACHIEVED.

Source: olicitygifs

Honestly, the show could have ended right here. I’d be thrilled.

Felicity Smoak and Canary Corp.

Yes, that’s the official title of the episode. Don’t @ me. Arrow has tried this Birds of Prey thing before. Remember Helena, L*urel and Sara in Season 2? Yeah, neither do I and why? BECAUSE IT DIDN’T HAVE FELICITY IN IT. Too bitter?

The Felicity Smoak/Oracle similarities were not lost on the Arrow writers and it’s clear they tried to adopt the moniker for our girl’s codename, but were shot down by the DC brass. Overwatch it is then and, as usual when it comes to Felicity Smoak and Emily Bett Rickards, she has made it her own.

This is Emily’s last season and therefore Arrow’s last chance to do a Birds of Prey themed episode with Felicity Smoak at the helm. Boy, they did not waste the opportunity. Thank goodness too because that would have been a real bummer.

“Lost Canary” is full on girl power. Arrow has many female characters, but the storylines are dominated by the men. It’s not a shocker. The main character is male. The writing staff I believe has been male dominated until a shake up this season. That’s not to say the male writers haven’t crafted a fantastic show with some amazing female characters – Felicity Smoak being at the top of the list. However, this show is long over due for the spotlight to shine on the female characters, actresses and writers.

Representation means hearing the voices of the marginalized, but “Lost Canary” is not simply Arrow ticking a box. Nor did the writers pad the episode with trite and insulting dialogue like...

(I will forever side eye The Flush for that one.)

No, “Lost Canary” is steeped in big life questions as it addresses the season theme of redemption head on. Each character has her own perspective on Bl*ck S*ren and redemption as a whole. Each character is given ample screen time to voice her perspective as the women debate the best way to handle Bl*ck S*ren’s recent downward spiral… or perhaps it’s a stagnant upward spiral. The point is the women are written like the multi faceted characters they are. WOULD WONDERS EVER CEASE?

Let the redemption debate commence.

Source: dcmultiverse

Bl*ck S*ren is back in the evil business. See, you can tell because of the all leather, black lipstick, cloak, tacky techno music and the sashay walk KC ripped off from Nina Dobrev.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

This is what I like to call an “Everything but the kitchen sink” visual trope. Oh hell, the kitchen sink was there too.

Bl*ck S*ren chucks the three piece power suits, with the shoulder pads that can fly her to Hong Kong, in favor of a more diabolical ensemble to convey her inner turmoil. The subtext is pretty much text. Arrow hammering away at it should be a monumentally huge tip off for where Bl*ck S*ren’s character is going.

The surprise isn’t so much where Arrow is going with this character, but rather in how they get there.

Admittedly, I struggled with E1 L*urel L*ance. I couldn’t stand her romance with Oliver, couldn’t keep up with her flip flopping personality, grew tired of her blaming everyone but herself, couldn’t forgive her for Tommy, hated her disdainful treatment of Felicity, and found her to be a insufferable pain in the ass, which she compounded by becoming a drunken, insufferable pain in the ass.

Whew. Season 1 and Season 2 were rough.

I had one bright and shining hope for this character – her Bl*ck C*nary storyline. It was a colossal disappointment.

Not even my deep love for the Lance sisters could save my investment in L*urel and I was overjoyed when Arrow killed her. It remains one of the best creative decisions this show ever made.

Regardless of the reasons for KC’s return (and there are reasons my friends), the writers smartly chose not to resurrect L*urel.

No need to bring back that mess. Instead, they started over with some doppelganger hijinks and crafted Evil L*urel aka Bl*ck S*ren from Earth 2.

It turns out Evil L*urel is a hell of a lot more fun than Saint L*urel. The character plays to KC’s acting strengths and she didn’t impede on Dinah Drake’s storyline as Bl*ck C*nary. Well, not much.

But the dramatic linchpin in Bl*ck S*ren’s character is that she’s not L*urel. Yes, she looks and sounds like the L*urel L*ance Team Arrow loved and lost, but no amount of time would ever make this woman into a replica of the one who died. This is a good thing because the woman Oliver Queen dedicated that ridiculous statue to was a hindrance to the story.

L*urel’s Season 6 arc was infuriating primarily because they reduced a meta human to a helpless victim. The writers shredded Quentin Lance’s character as he pursued his deeply unhealthy obsession with resurrecting his dead daughter through an entirely different human being. Let us never speak of it again.

Season 7 is a vast improvement. The good/evil push/pull remains the dramatic well the writers drink from, but instead of cramming old L*urel down Bl*ck S*ren’s throat they allowed her character to breathe. The fact she was different from L*urel is what made her interesting. Arrow didn’t run from it. They embraced it. And they paired her with an unlikely partner.

Felicity Smoak.

Bl*ck S*ren’s willingness to cross lines, including murder, was a necessary evil because Felicity’s husband was trapped inside the system. She needed help from someone with access and who wouldn’t be afraid to go over the line to get the job done. Suddenly, being evil doppelganger playing pretend lawyer was massive pro.

Bl*ck S*ren’s a sardonic wit and glowering demeanor made the perfect straight woman to Felicity Smoak’s ball of sunshine.

Except, Felicity wasn’t a ball of sunshine and more often than not L*urel was stopping her from going too far.

The two women worked in tandem as they questioned their morality and what defines good and evil. The ebb and flow of light and dark allowed Felicity and L*urel to see each other differently.

This sparked understanding, respect and finally compassion. Their interactions felt more honest than anything that transpired between E1 L*urel and Felicity and as a result their friendship was more believable.

I’ve enjoyed the good/evil/push/pull dynamic that’s made up the majority of Bl*ck S*ren’s arc this season because it was fairly even handed. When L*urel tipped too far in one direction they would shift her the other way. Every time L*urel helped Felicity with Oliver’s case or pulled her back from the ledge, she would follow it up with almost murdering someone.

Bl*ck S*ren’s instinct in almost any given scenario was to kill first and ask questions later. It flew in the face of the straight laced, law abiding DA image she cultivated by stealing E1 L*urel L*ance’s identity. The writers did this deliberately because everything that made Bl*ck S*ren “evil” is still there even as she tried emulating Quentin Lance’s dearly departed L*urel.

But eventually the writers need to pick a lane. Arrow has two choices – keep Bl*ck S*ren evil or redeem her. It’s kind of a like a love triangle. You can play with the back and forth for awhile, but eventually the writers need to make a decision. Otherwise the story loses any emotional authenticity.

The real shock of “Lost Canary” is how the writers present both sides of the argument. It’s so fair and logical. A L*urel L*ance centric episode is making sense. Talk about feeling like a fish out of water.

Dinah and Felicity are diametrically opposed when it comes to who Bl*ck S*ren is and if she can be redeemed. The argument boils down to nature versus nurture, but how Felicity and Dinah arrive at their individual conclusion fits not only within the scope of their own storylines, but within L*urel’s as well.

Dinah is nature. She firmly believes L*urel is an irredeemable killer and all efforts to save her are for naught because a killer is who she is. Dinah issues a warrant for L*urel’s arrest and believes she killed Diaz. I’ve been loudly advocating for some jail time for L*urel, but I didn’t really expect Arrow to go there. I’m not that lucky. A warrant for her arrest and L*urel on the run is close enough.

It’s understandable why Dinah believes Bl*ck S*ren is a lost cause. She witnessed her boyfriend’s murder at L*urel’s hand and a tearful apology doesn’t erase what happened.

Dinah has also been there any time L*urel has decided to murder someone, typically out of frustration, anger or to protect her own self interests. She would pull L*urel back from the ledge, but it’s difficult for her to believe BS was ever on the wagon when she so frequently fell off it.

Dinah is not wrong. L*urel is a murderer. Murder is L*urel’s default position whenever the going is rough, which is exactly what is happening now. Yes, L*urel is wrongly accused of murder, but let us not forget all the murders she did commit and has yet to pay for. Dinah didn’t love Bl*ck S*ren’s approach when it came to interrogating criminals, but the answer to these problems is not a crime spree.

Felicity is nurture. In the beginning, Felicity did not see Bl*ck S*ren as anything but criminal pretending to be her dead friend. She emotionally manipulated people and was reaping all the benefits of E1 L*urel’s life.

But the hubby was in the slammer and Felicity needed a lawyer, fake or real it didn’t matter. Desperate times call for desperate measures. L*urel was one of the only people to have Felicity’s back and their partnership grew into real friendship. Felicity has been the beneficiary of L*urel’s kindness and love, so she knows without a doubt there is good but it needs to be encouraged.

Felicity is so ardent in her belief that she bizarrely blames herself for L*urel’s crime spree because she wasn’t a good enough friend.

Let’s just pretend that’s true for a second (even though it’s not). The max penalty Felicity could incur would be paying for drinks some night. But L*urel tries to blow up Felicity and HER BABY. I feel safe categorizing that as an insane overreaction.

The truth is Felicity has been an amazing friend to L*urel and she continues to be throughout the episode. She proves to Dinah that L*urel has been framed by Emiko for Diaz’s murder. Felicity offers L*urel her support even after she goes on a crime spree.

L*urel: Oliver’s sister did me a favor because I was really sick and tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. Plus, no one believed it any way.

Felicity: I did! Look, what happened to you wasn’t fair. You were accused of murder, you lost your job, Dinah didn’t have your back I get it. You got a bucket load of bad news, but you are not Bl*ck S*ren. Not anymore.

L*urel: That’s funny I used to believe that too.

Felicity: Think of the good you’ve done L*urel. Think of honoring Quentin!

L*urel: Quentin is dead. Nobody cares about Quentin. He only wanted his daughter back.

Felicity: That is not true.

Well… far be it from me to disagree with my Queen but it is kind of true. This is a wonderfully impassioned speech even if I don’t agree with all of Felicity’s arguments. Sadly L*urel pretty much spits in Felicity’s face and is generally undeserving of all this support and understanding.

Felicity and Dinah have it out after L*urel tries to blow them up. Felicity continues to blame herself for this Bl*ck S*ren spiral whereas Dinah is firmly entrenched in the “Bl*ck S*ren Is a Murderer” camp. Felicity calls Dinah out on her hypocrisy when she boasts in a fit of moral superiority that she could have gone down the same road as L*urel, but didn’t.

Felicity accurately points out that the reason Dinah didn’t go down the same road was because she had the team. Dinah had friends who loved and supported her even when she didn’t deserve it.

Felicity ain’t wrong! I forgot Dinah is a murderer too. Yes, there is a big difference between murdering bad people versus murdering good people, but it doesn’t change the fact that Dinah has also taken lives.

While we’re on the subject on Vinnie, she also lied to the team about her relationship with him

and went on a crazy revenge bender after Bl*ck S*ren murdered him.

Dinah was in the Newbie tantrum up to her elbows, which included assaulting OTA when they refused to hand over Bl*ck S*ren.

Dinah was forgiven for all of these transgressions and welcomed back to the team with open arms without even apologizing. Now she’s the captain of the police force and a deputized vigilante. All of which would have never happened without Oliver Queen and Team Arrow.

Dinah was forgiven when she didn’t deserve it.

It was the second chance she needed to become someone who is deserving of that forgiveness.

(We can argue the semantics of whether or not Dinah really has become someone worthy of Oliver and Felicity’s love and trust another day. For the sake of this episode let’s just roll with it.)

Dinah continues to argue that even if all of that is true (WHICH IT IS HONEYCAKES) it doesn’t apply to L*urel because she doesn’t want a second chance. She never did. Felicity pushes back once again and argues the opposite. She thinks L*urel wants a second chance more than anyone else and didn’t realize it until it was already gone.

WOW. What a scene. It’s so invigorating to see two female characters argue passionately about something that has nothing to do with a man. This debate is about friendship, faith and forgiveness. It’s about the true meaning of redemption, who deserves it, and who decides who deserves it. Felicity and Dinah are arguing about their fundamental beliefs and challenging one another’s morality.

Source: hollandrooden

Dinah gave L*urel a chance and she blew it, so enough is enough. Felicity feels L*urel was succeeding at that second chance until she was wrongly accused. Sometimes people need several chances to get it right. I completely understand both Dinah and Felicity’s positions, which is how you know it’s a great storyline. If you can see both sides of the coin then the writers are mining drama with serious depth.

Both women are right and both are wrong. We’ve been exploring Bl*ck S*ren’s redemption since Season 5, but “Lost Canary” feels like the first honest conversation being had about it. I understand Dinah’s frustration because they are my frustrations.

I do not believe throwing on a three piece suit, playing lawyer, living someone else’s life and enjoying all the benefits someone else earned qualifies as redemption. Pretending to be E1 L*urel L*ance has protected Bl*ck S*ren from facing justice for any of her crimes. While I appreciate she’s helped put criminals away, freed Oliver Queen, and is a good friend to Felicity Smoak, it does not even out the cosmic scales when compared to the evil she has committed.

Bl*ck S*ren is a murderer. She was coddled by Quentin Lance because she looks like his dead daughter. Felicity reaches out again and again and Bl*ck S*ren continually rejects her love, support and forgiveness. I’ve watched Bl*ck S*ren time and again head out to murder someone as a solution to whatever problem she’s trying to solve. I’ve watched both Dinah and Felicity stop L*urel from committing those murders.

L*urel stopped because she was caught – not because she thinks murder is wrong. She doesn’t express remorse for wanting to kill someone either. She typically has a snippy remark for Dinah and Felicity as she slinks away from the scene of her premeditated murder.

Unfortunately, the writers are treating Bl*ck S*ren’s penchant to murder the same as E1 L*urel’s alcoholism. Felicity and Dinah tell Bl*ck S*ren to put down the drink and convince her to stay on the wagon. But we aren’t talking about booze. Bl*ck S*ren’s addiction is killing people. NOT. THE. SAME. THING. I get it, Dinah. Trust me.

Then there’s Felicity Smoak. She sees the best in Bl*ck S*ren even when she’s at her worst. Primarily because Bl*ck S*ren saw Felicity at her worst and pulled her back from the brink.

Felicity is not a killer because Bl*ck S*ren offered her hope. So, it’s understandable why Felicity refuses to abandon her friend especially now.

But that’s not all of it. Sure, BS was a good friend to Felicity, but that’s not why she is standing by her. The truth is Felicity Smoak is a really good person. She is intensely compassionate, loyal and supportive. Felicity sees the best in people and her ability to pull that light from those she loves is unparalleled. Nearly every character in the Arrowverse has benefited from Felicity’s steadfast encouragement.

I know this aspect of the character often frustrates some people. Some believe Felicity is used to prop up other characters. Her character suffers because she’s constantly launching another superhero.

The fastest way to cultivate a positive fan response to a new character is to filter that character through Felicity Smoak. She represents the audience opinions more often than not. Her popularity has a way of spilling over to problematic characters and it casts them in a more positive light. I don’t deny Arrow employs this practice often.

But I never saw it as a negative. Felicity is the believer. It’s what I love most about her. Diggle is the mind (moral compass) and Oliver is the soul, but Felicity is the heart. She is the hero of heroes.

L*urel L*ance was a wildly problematic character. The writers never quite knew what to do with her and they could never really settle on a personality with a defined set of characteristics.

We never knew what version of L*urel we were going to get week to week.

The writers struggled with her even more after rerouting the central romance away from Laurel to Felicity. Her storylines never seemed to get the necessary focus they required even though it felt like we spent an inordinate amount of time on L*urel. Watching Arrow develop her character was a lot like running in place, as @callistawolf once said.

Her messy history with Oliver also seemed to be the elephant in the room when it came to any friendship with Felicity. There’s never any discussion around the events of the Season 2 finale. Felicity wondered if Oliver’s “I love you” was real and I’m sure L*urel had some questions too.

Did she think it was all a ruse to save her life or did she simply accept that Oliver was really in love with Felicity? It seems like the latter although it’s never actually addressed. If there was any confusion on L*urel’s part I guess 3x01 cleared it up because the only thing on Oliver’s mind was Felicity Megan Smoak.

Arrow likes to pretend L*uriver never happened and it is completely understandable. It’s a bad dream we’d all like to forget,

but L*urel’s central connection to the team remained an ex boyfriend she didn’t like very much. I appreciate the show wanting to define a relationship between Felicity and L*urel outside of Oliver, but ignoring L*urel’s romantic history with him didn’t feel very honest.

Perhaps their friendship would have been more believable if the writers set aside time for L*urel and Felicity to bond outside of Team Arrow, but they didn’t. L*urel just shows up in the foundry and starts barking orders.

Even Felicity questioned their relationship status. Girl, same. They had moments of kindness, but we never saw them work as partners or enjoy each other as friends like Felicity and Bl*ck S*ren.

In fact, one of the most common arguments against L*urel being in the grave was that Felicity would never be that upset because she wasn’t that close to L*urel. HA! A lot of L*urel’s character was built upon telling rather than showing and her friendship with Felicity is one of the many areas the writers made that very frequent mistake.

The writers did not make that same mistake with Bl*ck S*ren. They gave her friendship with Felicity time to develop. They started off as enemies, but as circumstances evolved so did their relationship.

Bizarrely, this is why Bl*ck S*ren’s and Felicity’s friendship feels more honest and earned than anything Felicity had with E1 L*urel L*ance. Bl*ck S*ren’s connection to Team Arrow is through Felicity. She has absolutely nothing to do with Oliver Queen and IT’S FANTASTIC.

The writers tried to connect L*urel through Oliver for four years, but he was never the solution. Felicity is.

Felicity is the solution because she has a big bandwidth when it comes to forgiveness. No one has benefited more from it than Oliver Queen. Murder isn’t a deal breaker for Felicity. She fell in love with Oliver when he was dropping bodies. She barely blinked at Sara’s assassin history. Diggle murdered his own brother and I don’t think Felicity even commented on it. Remember when Roy thought he killed Sara? Who did he tell first? Felicity. She was freaked but calm. Dinah was a murderer and Felicity welcomed her onto the team with open arms. Rene pulled a gun on her and it was totally cool. I mean, sweet mother of Moses she was friends with Curtis Holt and tolerated his mansplaining and misogynistic bullshit, which says it all.

So is it really a shock Felicity is ride or die when it comes to Bl*ck S*ren? No. I identify with Dinah’s frustrations, but recognize Felicity is on the higher road. Simply put, Felicity Smoak is a better person than me. The belief she is giving Bl*ck S*ren is no different than the belief she gave to Oliver or Sara.

So, she’s challenging me as well. I cannot cheer Felicity on when she offers unconditional love to Oliver or Sara or John, but admonish her when she offers the same to L*urel L*ance. Sara was an assassin and I didn’t demand a prison sentence for her.

That said, I see one massive difference between Bl*ck S*ren and Oliver Queen. Oliver was remorseful about his past and crippled with guilt. He didn’t need additional punishment because he was already punishing himself enough. Oliver also spent five years in hell, lost nearly everyone he’s ever loved and is constantly sacrificing his happiness for the greater good.

His redemptive journey is wildly different from Bl*ck S*ren’s. Oliver didn’t get to just toss on a nice suit and call it a day. And he killed bad people!!! So, I maybe I can’t hold Bl*ck S*ren to a higher standard than other characters I love, but I can damn well hold her to the same standard.

So, is L*urel remorseful?

We don’t have to pick between Felicity and Dinah because it is possible to hold L*urel accountable and be compassionate. This is where Sara comes in.

Source: canarygifs

I have been incredibly frustrated with how Arrow has used Sara in the past when she’s come back as a guest star. I’m still ticked she didn’t get a goodbye scene with Quentin. The Sara I know on Legends isn’t always the same on Arrow, but “Lost Canary” is different. The writers give Sara her due and she reflects on her journey in a way she’s been allowed to before.

Everyone knows I’m a huge Lance sisters fan. The one saving grace in L*urel’s Season 2 storyline was when it stopped being about her relationship with Oliver and she began to focus on repairing her relationship with Sara.

I bought into the Bl*ck C*nary storyline in Season 3 because I believed Sara’s death was a life altering catalytic event for L*urel. “The Calm” remains my favorite L*urel L*ance episode and I will always believe Sara is her great love and vice versus. We all need something or someone to live for and that love doesn’t always have to be romantic in nature.

So, Sara coming back to town to protect her sister’s good name and offer some wisdom to Bl*ck S*ren made a lot of sense to me. Sara is the one who pieces together that maybe failing to kill Felicity and Dinah wasn’t a mistake after all. She uses her sisterly intuition and finds Bl*ck S*ren at Quentin’s grave.

Source: canarygifs

Sara gives it to L*urel straight in an EPIC speech. She owns all her past mistakes. Sara cheated with her sister’s boyfriend, let her family believe she was dead and then became an assassin.

Yuuuup. Sara Lance history sure is colorful! Each one of these errors in judgment is an unforgivable offense. And yet, L*urel found a way to forgive Sara. Well, after she blamed her for absolutely everything that went wrong in her and boozed her way through the liquor cabinet, but let’s not get bogged down in the details.

This remains my favorite Lance sister scene of all time because L*urel does not go to Sara offering forgiveness. No, L*urel comes to Sara begging for forgiveness. Despite everything she’d done and everything she suffered, Sara survived whereas L*urel was crippled by her pain. These two women found their way out of the dark together. Sara’s forgiveness put L*urel on a path to sobriety. L*urel’s forgiveness put Sara on a path to heroism. Neither of them truly deserved forgiveness for what they had done, but that’s not the point of forgiveness is it?

It was L*urel’s love, not Oliver’s that gave Sara the second chance she needed. Maybe Sara didn’t deserve forgiveness when L*urel gave it, but it sparked the beginning of her journey towards someone who did. Sara is the Original Canary, the captain of a time traveling superhero squad and the one and ONLY White Canary. She offers the wisdom of her life experience to help Bl*ck S*ren.

Source: canarygifs

She also calls Bl*ck S*ren out on her bullshit. She tried to be a hero for six months. TRYING? SIX MONTHS? She thinks that evens the score for years and years of mayhem, theft and murder?

We’re supposed to feel sorry for BS after she’s spent six months living in a comfortable apartment and getting paid well to do a job she didn’t earn.

Great, she helped Oliver out of prison. She also tried to kill him multiple times, so they aren’t exactly equal yet. When Sara tried to quit the murder business a lethal team of assassins came after her and she had to commit suicide to get them to leave her alone. But L*urel knows the horror of the Balmain double breasted, wool blend jacket. Poor baby.

I forgot she was accused of working with Diaz and lost her job. Yeah, except she did work with Diaz and SHE IS NOT A LAWYER SO SHE SHOULD LOSE HER JOB.

Then there’s being falsely accused of Diaz’s murder. Hmmm… who killed Vinnie again? L*urel being falsely accused of ONE murder compared to the multiple homicides she has committed and has yet to pay for in any real or substantial way does not equate. Yet, here she is with a stick up her ass and expecting everyone to feel sorry for her. You know, I take it back. She really is like E1 L*urel sometimes.

Sara explains what real redemption is and it is my favorite line of the episode.

Source: canarygifs

She’s right. Redemption is not a light switch that can be flipped on. L*urel can’t do a couple nice things and say, “TA DA! I AM REDEEMED!” It’s not how it works. There’s no endgame here. This is something L*urel needs work at for the rest of her life. She needs to fight every day to be a person worthy of forgiveness. When L*urel falls down, or life doesn’t go her way, she can’t throw an evil temper tantrum.

A real hero isn’t looking for a reward. A real hero doesn’t look for someone else to blame. A real hero doesn’t keep score. A real hero sacrifices and fights the good fight because it is the right thing to do. Does Bl*ck S*ren qualify?

No. She is not a hero yet. She is undeserving of the love, compassion and forgiveness Sara and Felicity are offering her.

But we all are undeserving of forgiveness. We are all broken in some way. We all do or say hurtful things. Each of us will either do something unforgivable or feel like we’ve done something unforgivable. What makes the difference in our life is having someone who loves us despite our sins.

We can see the people who have been loved when they are unlovable and those who have not when we look at the landscape of humanity. Sometimes we need a push in the right direction when we are at a crossroads, but not all of us have someone in our life who loves us enough to give one. The ones who do are blessed.

Bl*ck S*ren’s sins are deeply evil. She has dug herself a very large, dark hole. L*urel stopped Felicity from falling down the same hole because she knows there’s nothing but pain, emptiness and loneliness at the bottom. She knows how to stop someone from falling in, but L*urel does not know how to climb out. Bl*ck S*ren is stuck in a self destructive cycle. Felicity fundamentally believes every human being is redeemable if they want redemption, but some need more of a push than others.

The truth is we all need help out of the darkness. We all need someone to love us unconditionally. We all need someone reach down into the hole and offer a hand. But our redemption remains in our hands. It’s not enough for someone to reach out. We have to reach back.

All the evil hijinks boil down to a faceoff with Bl*ck S*ren and Felicity. Felicity tells BS one last time she believes in her, but ultimately it’s not about what she believes. It’s not about L*urel L*ance’s legacy or who Quentin wanted BS to be. This is about who Bl*ck S*ren wants to be. Free will my friends. It is a bitch.

COME ON! Nobody is killing Felicity Smoak least of all Bl*ck S*ren. L*urel is picking out china patterns in her head, so she ain’t killin’ bae. She joins Felicity and the rest of the birds and together they defeat the villain of the week. Sorry I really didn’t pay much attention to the partner.

Source: smoaktechs

In their victory celebration, Dinah decides not to arrest Bl*ck S*ren and even comes up with a get out of jail free card excuse aka “working undercover.” A relieved Felicity tells L*urel that everything can go back to normal.

But L*urel disagrees. It is time to stop running. It is time to stop pretending to be someone she’s not. It’s time to go back to Earth 2. She has to made amends in the place where she created so much pain. I. AM. SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, it’s not a stint in the pokey, but I WILL TAKE IT. Going back to Earth 2 is the next best thing. It addresses my primary problem with L*urel’s redemptive arc and that is pretending to be someone she’s not. Being Earth 1 L*urel L*ance protected Bl*ck S*ren from all the damage she caused on Earth 2. If she really wants a shot at redemption then she has to go back to the place where everyone knows her as Bl*ck S*ren. Earth 2 is where L*urel will be forced to confront everything she’s done and accept responsibility for it. There’s no hiding, running or easy outs on Earth 2. That is the place where an honest redemptive arc can begin.

Felicity understands and gives her a parting gift – E1 L*urel’s Bl*ck C*nary suit.

Source: nyssaalghl

It’s a beautiful full circle moment. I don’t make the rules! Felicity anoints the superheroes, assigns the names and hands out the couture! If she says L*urel should be Bl*ck C*nary on Earth 2 then L*urel is going to be Bl*ck C*nary on Earth 2. Fine with me!

L*urel meets Sara once more at Quentin’s grave. Her story always comes back to Sara no matter what version of L*urel it is. Felicity was the push, but Sara’s words lit the spark. She launched L*urel L*ance’s hero’s journey once again. Cuz see the light?!!!!

Source: canarygifs

This scene also feels like a goodbye to the Lance family. Quentin is gone, L*urel is dead, Sara is off hero-ing through time, and Bl*ck S*ren is returning to Earth 2. This isn’t the end of L*urel’s redemptive journey. It’s the beginning. But it is the first time I believe she might deserve it someday.

Source: nyssaalghl

FLASH FORWARD TIME!

Dinah created the Canary Network to be a support system for women, so someone always had their back. It’s a reminder to Dinah of what she failed to give Bl*ck S*ren once. It’s a whole conglomerate of leather clad ladies supporting ladies! LOOOOOOVE IT!

There is no singular Bl*ck C*nary. No one woman holds the title. It fulfills L*urel L*ance’s dying wish in a way she couldn’t even imagine at the time, which is why it is so fitting.

Unfortunately, Galaxy One massacres the network in “Lost Canary” and Dinah loses fifteen of her girls. It’s a devastating loss for Dinah, but I couldn’t help but cackle a little. Arrow never misses an opportunity to throw a little petty at the LL fandom. Oh you’re made we killed once Bl*ck C*nary? Watch us kill fifteen! How do you like them apples?!

Dinah, Felicity and Zoe want to lay low and regroup after such a big hit, but Mia is fired up and ready for pay back.

Source: amunetblack

Dinah tries to convince her to wait for the surviving canaries to fight back when the time is right, but Mia defiantly says...

Source: amunetblack

It’s like they tailor made her for us fandom. Mia Smoak is perfection on every level.

Dinah calls in some back up to keep an eye on Mia.

L*urel.

She saves Mia from some Galaxy One goons. Unfortunately, the horror show of a wig is back, but let us pray there are less buckles on the suit. The lipstick has changed from black to red so serious upgrade in that department.

Source: dcmultiverse

It’s a beautifully symbolic moment because L*urel saves Mia in an alley where a body of a dead canary is lying. It’s the same kind of alley where Sara fell to her death and launched L*urel’s Bl*ck C*nary journey.

It’s the same kind of alley where L*urel’s journey was foreshadowed in the pilot,

but with a significant change. L*urel is no longer connected to the man in the story, but to the women. Sara, L*urel, Felicity, Dinah, Bl*ck S*ren, Zoe and Mia all weave together in one beautiful thread. Bl*ck C*nary no longer belongs to one woman. It belongs to all of them.

The beauty of this is I don’t have to sit through another half baked Bl*ck C*nary storyline for L*urel. I trust she’s earned the suit on E2. Even better she’s still Bl*ck S*ren. This isn’t 2.0 of E1 L*urel L*nce. Hopefully, all the snarky wit, aptitude for zingers and glowering that made me fall in love with BS remains. I just needed her to stop murdering people. That’s all. All of this means I might finally have a version of L*urel L*nce that I can enjoy.

L*urel gives Mia some wisdom that screams THERE IS GOING TO BE A SPIN OFF,

but what I loved most is L*urel is still trying every day to prove she is a hero.

Redemption is a journey and not a destination. And undeserved forgiveness is often the beginning of that journey. Nobody knows that better than L*urel L*ance.

Stray Thoughts

#Fact. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Bl*ck S*ren pretending to be L*urel acts somewhat normal. She ratchets up the cheese factor when she's Bl*ck S*ren. I forgot about that.

Emily is having an A+ hair season. Really it's like a Vidal Sassoon commercial every week.

This made me emotional. Source: olicitygifs

"Let's just call her a genius and leave it at that." Hubby is so proud of bae.

Bl*ck S*ren versus White Canary is like a heavy weight boxer fighting a chipmunk.

Felicity and Sara flirting is everything I didn’t know I need. The love triangle was centered on the wrong person in Season 2. It should have been Felicity and not Oliver. Source: ebett

Yup. We all knew. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

“Felicity Smoak is killing people now." Sara is my spirit animal.

Sara has seniority Dinah. It should've been you sitting it out. Respect your elder. Source: canarygifs

The great evil of this episode is the grommet sweater. We must protect the actresses from this atrocity because it's spreading.

This was cute. Source: hollandrooden

Sara has a baby on Earth 2? I NEED THE NAME. WHERE ARE PICTURES?

Don’t tell me L*urel is not in love with Felicity. I know my truth. Source: hollandrooden

Spit my drink out when Sara said this because it’s ridiculous. That said, Arrow continually painting Laurel as a saint is a constant reminder they are never bringing her back. the more Arrow paints Laurel as saint. Source: danverskara

Was it snowing in the future? What was up with the weather?

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