#gonna finish my second sketchbook this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

intrepidacious · 2 years

Text

every dream gone

summary: After the events of Winter Soldier, Bucky slowly realizes just how much he lost after his fall.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 3.2k

warnings: bucky being sad; vague mentions of brainwashing and a whole lot of guilt; don't look for a happy ending with this one folks (i'm sorry 🥲)

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i started writing this fic back in september and it took me until now to gather the emotional willpower to finish it. blame this song that inspired the whole thing.

masterlist | read on ao3

It took Bucky a while to remember you, after everything, but he did.

The first memory came back while he was on the run. He'd been in Europe for a while by then, sleeping in freight cars, never staying anywhere for longer than a week, trying to keep a low profile while both HYDRA and Steve were still frantically looking for him everywhere. Those early days were the worst.

He spent most of his time on trains and tried to figure out why he hated it so much.

Being in England calmed him a bit. It was nice getting used to hearing people speak English around him again, and not in a tone that commanded obedience.

He didn't have much to go off, just scattered memories that didn't quite seem to fit together. There was always something off about them, something like the taste of metal where it shouldn't be. This time, the fragments led him to a flea market.

There were only a handful of people dotted in between the stands, which was probably for the best. His long sleeves usually attracted some curious glances this late into July.

He didn't exactly have money to spare for knick-knacks or secondhand souvenirs, but his feet carried him straight to one stand in particular, without him even realizing. His fingertips grazed along the spines of old paperbacks that were lined up like soldiers, but Bucky didn't spare them more than a glance.

He stopped at the next table over, a small frown on his face.

"Look at all those colors, Buck!"

Pastels and acrylics, steel nib fountain pens and piles of hand-bound sketchbooks. The woman selling them looked up from her novel when he didn't move for a whole minute, his eyes fixed on the notebooks.

"You can pick 'em up if you can't decide, you know," she said.

He nodded, blinked, almost embarrassed at the way his fingers shook as he picked up one of the books. It was bound in blue linen, and the deckle edged pages stuck to his gloves.

"You draw?" the woman asked, in a way that was more politeness than actual interest.

"My friend did," Bucky found himself saying.

Hands covered in charcoal. The smell of paper and something else.

"How dare you!" A laugh, carelessly loud and graceless. The most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. "My nose looks nothing like that!"

The memory passed through him softly, almost dreamlike, and for a second, he didn't know whether he wanted to cry or scream. He did neither.

The woman was looking at him strangely, but she accepted the note he handed her for the sketchbook, even though it wasn't Sterling.

"Young man," she called after him, and he almost wanted to laugh. "You're gonna need this, too." And she handed him a pen, as if she'd known, as if there was something in his face that told her how lost he felt.

It was cheap, surely, but it was also the first gift he'd gotten in decades, and so he kept it in his chest pocket. Right above his heart.

***

The next memory came not too long after that.

He was sitting in a rundown coffee shop in Edinburgh, barely paying attention to the room around him while he tried putting his past onto the page. The book was filling so achingly slowly it made him want to throw it against a wall most days.

A good chunk of it was about Steve.

Bucky supposed that was to be expected, because he'd been the one to first make him remember, and because it was Steve.

So page after page was detailing pneumonias and ill-fitting jackets and bruised knuckles in Bucky's narrow writing, trying to piece together a life that should have stayed his. It was desperate work, futile work most days, but he tried anyway.

And then the café owner switched stations on the old, dusty radio in the corner, and there was the song.

It took only a couple of notes until the images struck like lightning.

Swinging skirts and heels clacking on wooden floors. The smell of sweat and hairspray and something else. Something like May bells.

"You're quite good at this, aren't you?" Hands tightening around his neck in the most pleasant embrace.

"Only as good as my partner."

How could a simple hum sound so content? "And I ain't exactly called Rogers, either. But you’re the one leading."

"And thank God for both."

A dip, a scream. And that laugh again. He wanted to bottle it up and get drunk on it for the rest of eternity.

When the song ended, Bucky was shaking with it. He'd broken the pen in his hand, and the dark ink smeared all over his palm like black blood.

He didn’t do so well with presents these days.

***

He remembered your name when he heard a mother call out for her child in a park and it stopped him in his tracks because the corners of his mouth started to lift on their own accord. It was like you were muscle memory, your name so deeply ingrained that his body remembered you long before his mind could catch up.

And your name.

Whispered in darkened picture theaters until your skin prickled with goosebumps, shouted across dance halls sweltering with heat, spoken with reverence on dizzying fair rides. Bucky’d said it again, and again, and again, and for so long he couldn’t think of anything sweeter than the taste of it on his tongue.

He tried it out now, and it came out like ash.

The sound of his name on your lips came to him only hours later, because he kept prodding at that part of his mind that kept you hidden from him, kept trying to unlock the gate to his forgotten memories until finally it slid open an inch.

He was trying to make dinner.

He’d not had a warm meal for weeks at that point, but the past few days had been good and he’d bought vanilla extract for pancakes. The sugary smell filled his tiny apartment, but he didn’t even notice at first, not until he opened the window and then turned back to the stove.

“Bucky.”

Like a breath of air that echoed from deep within until it reached him and left him shaken.

He said your name again, called it into the silence of the room. It didn’t answer him.

He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than going crazy, and so he breathed in again.

“James! It’s almost nine, we’re gonna be late.” Nails drumming against the wood of a dresser. You’d painted it with flowers, purple and blue and yellow. Beautiful.

“And whose fault is that, sweetheart?”

His fingers wrapping around your waist, pulling you close, so young, so human. Your perfume, soft and lingering mist-like between you, and something else. Something like Christmas morning.

Smiles had come so easy to him back then. “I’ve been sittin’ by the door for a good twenty minutes now, waitin’ anxiously for you to finish up.”

“If you’re getting so anxious over me, you needn’t have waited, Buck.”

“I’d wait my whole life if it went you’re comin’ down the stairs, sweetheart.”

He hadn’t noticed he’d slid to the floor, trembling.

The pancakes burned.

***

Your name was so much and yet so little at the same time.

Bucky tried finding any record of you, in libraries, newspaper archives, even using a computer once he figured out how to go online. But you’d been a normal girl, a lovely, perfect, beautiful, normal girl. That had never been enough for the history books.

He had to put you together again himself, slowly. The smallest details took him months.

You would always get holes in your tights and scold him for prodding at them. You used to hate getting your picture taken, but you would benignly let Steve draw you as long as he kept you entertained. You’d liked dancing, and flowers, and sweet things, and somehow, inexplicably, you’d liked him.

“You are the worst date I’ve ever had.”

The taste of whipped cream and chocolate on your lips, and the feeling of your fingers curling into the hair at the base of his neck. That little sound at the back of your throat.

“You were saying, sweetheart?”

Bucky’s hand balled into a fist. It wasn’t fair.

The worst part was that you were barely more than the memory of a beautiful dream, hazy and blurred. He was well aware he didn’t deserve good things anymore, but these faint half-images collecting in his brain were nothing short of cruel.

"I can't remember her face,” he told the only person who might have understood, because he himself didn’t. “Why can I remember every single person that I had to ...” He trailed off, dragging his hand over his face. “And yet I can't remember her face?"

Steve's hand was on his shoulder, a gesture that should feel comforting in its familiarity. Instead, Bucky had never felt this small in his own skin.

Wrong shoulder.

"I'll see what I can do," Steve said calmly, but there was a helplessness in his voice that made Bucky’s stomach churn.

It wasn’t supposed to spill out of his own eyes.

***

You would have loved Wakandan sunsets.

They were richer, more colorful than the ones Bucky remembered, but maybe that didn’t actually mean much. The beautiful things had a habit of evading him.

Sometimes, he was selfish enough to wish it had stayed that way, because at least in forgetting, he hadn’t known to miss anything at all. Years and decades worth of lack came crashing through to drown him now, more and more frequent, as if they were trying to make up for lost time. Or mocking him.

But you would have loved the sunsets, and so he tried to love them, too, just like he was always meant to do.

“Do you have to leave already?”

A sniff, a petulant sigh, his limbs heavy and warm, but resolve unwavering. He’d fancied himself so smart, then. “You know I do.”

Daybreak kisses that tasted contently like sleep. Slowly untangling his fingers from yours, something cool grazing them.

Steve brought back a small package, and that was all that was left to find of the part of the past that he’d shared with you. A thin stack of official papers, the dog tags he’d worn in Austria, and a ring.

Bucky sat down.

He knew, rationally, that you were long gone even before he saw the official documents. He’d never expected you to wait for him when it had always been the other way around. Still, to read it so plainly was like his insides were being twisted into the tightest knot, and his heart, his carefully guarded heart that had only just started to remember its own rhythm stuttered painfully. Like it was sick of this whole dance, the waiting, the longing for something so out of reach. So lost to time.

He didn’t want this, any of this, but there was nothing he could do but stare and wait for his vision to clear.

“There’s something else,” Steve said, his voice far away like he’d been wrapped in cotton. “Do you remember the house?”

A rickety porch swing and a picket fence that needed bleaching. Thorny rose bushes blooming in all your favorite colors. Two spare rooms.

“Are we going to be hostin’ a lot of guests, then?” That smug little curl of your lip he liked to kiss.

“I hope not.” Arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you close. Always the same gesture, as familiar as the smell. Vanilla and peonies, and something else. “We could find a more permanent use, don’t you think?”

“She kept it. It’s still there.”

Bucky traced the letters of your name with his thumb as if somehow, somewhere, you might have felt the familiar caress. It looked lonely there, all on its own.

Maybe it was lucky that he’d long run out of screams, because he might have never stopped.

“Thank you,” he said, and even though it didn’t seem sufficient, Steve nodded.

Bucky threaded your ring onto the chain of his dog tags and closed it around his neck before he hid them under his vest, the metal like a ghostly touch over his heart.

***

It took Bucky five more years to make it back to New York. Well. Five more years passed.

He’d lost so many of them it didn’t even seem to matter at this point.

The slip of paper had been kept inside an envelope he’d found between the books in Steve’s apartment, waiting for him, just like he’d said it would. At least some things were still there.

The bus drive took an eternity, but his feet found their way on their own accord. They’d known it well, once, after all.

He thought the hardest part would be to turn around the final corner and see it again, but that wasn’t it. He’d dreaded the drawn shades, the overgrown garden, the withered flowers, the faded paint on the front door. Dreading things made them easier to bare, sometimes, he’d learned that.

No, the hardest part was seeing the sign. Cottage for sale.

And the quiet.

The mailbox was battered from decades of wind and weather, but underneath the rust he could still see the remnants of your handprint, cracked golden yellow on the dark metal. It disappeared under his vibranium fingers.

“See? We left our mark now. We have to stay here forever.”

He found the key still inside. He used to scold you for leaving it so recklessly, but you kept losing every spare you got made, and besides, times were different, then. You knew the neighbors. So did he.

“Don’t forget, it’s Mrs Hopper’s birthday on Wednesday, and you promised to mow her lawn.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“And the Sawyers asked if you could take a look at their furnace, because it’s been acting up.”

“You’d think they’d hire a professional for that sorta thing.”

“Maybe you’re just nicer to look at.”

The plot next door had been leveled. The curtains in all the other houses were drawn, even though it was a lovely spring evening.

Bucky’s steps were heavy as he climbed the steps to the red front door. It was like he could hear whispers coming from all sides, his head pounding with the weight of something that was not quite there yet, not quite clear, not quite something.

The key slid into the lock.

“Leave your shoes outside, Buck, you’ll track mud everywhere.”

He almost did.

The first step inside was like going through the looking glass and finding himself in a world so different, and yet so familiar. Because he didn’t recognize the painting on the wall, or the color of the cabinets, or the rug next to the stairs.

But there was that smell. Vanilla and peonies. Something like baking and spring, something like home.

He carefully pulled the door closed behind him, the floorboards softly creaking. Dust billowed.

And then more memories came rushing in, as if they'd been waiting for the moment he crossed the threshold.

"Ready?"

"Yes!" He could feel your cheeks lift in a smile and grinned as he slowly pulled his hands away from your eyes. Could feel the gasp that fell from your lips as you took in the sight in front of you.

"Do you like it?"

"Are you kidding me? I love it!"

“I love you.”

He thought he saw movement just out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned, it was only his own grave reflection staring back at him out of one of the dirty windows. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like the ghosts of the past were surrounding him.

“There you are,” they seemed to say. “What took you so long?”

“Just picking up something sweet for my best girl.”

“This is exactly why I’m gonna marry you.”

“Just that? Really? What about my other qualities?”

“Those I tolerate.”

The plates his ma had given you, the porcellain chipped with decades of use, stacked neatly in the cabinets, gathering dust. Your favorite brass pot was out next to the sink, as if you’d just left it there to dry, intending to use it again in a couple of hours.

In the living room, the horrible curtains your aunt had forced upon you had finally disappeared, and despite everything, Bucky could feel himself smile. The bookshelf was still overflowing.

“We’re gonna run out of space soon, you know that, right?”

“Well, build me a new shelf, then!”

Another promise he’d broken.

He had to go upstairs. He knew it, even though every single cell of his body was screaming at him not to go.

Seventeen steps. The second to last was the one that creaked.

Deciding which door to open first was like choosing his own hell. In the end, the house decided for him, because the wailing behind the one to the far right sounded so alive he almost bolted through the entrance.

It had been locked, and Bucky only realized why when it was already too late.

It was the most desolate room yet, cobwebbed and stale, furniture hidden underneath white linens. A dusty wooden mobile dangled from the ceiling, trembling as the house settled, casting eery shadows over the dirtied green walls.

“Aren’t you a bit overzealous there, love?” He dotted some green on your nose and you shrieked.

“Do you wanna be caught unawares?”

“As far as I know, there’s a bit of a preparation period involved.”

“Hm. Maybe we should just get a head start, then.”

He couldn’t bear it a second time, so he took a lung full of stale air and opened the bedroom door.

“I love you, I love you, I love you!”

Everything smelled like you, had your loving touch on it, had been allowed to live alongside you for all this time when he hadn’t been. The wilted flowers in the vase by the window. A book on the nightstand, your bookmark tucked between the pages because you weren’t quite done with it yet.

You weren’t done yet.

A pair of reading glasses lay on top of it, and Bucky almost laughed because he couldn’t quite picture you wearing them, and then, suddenly, he realized he could picture you, and his hand reached out blindly because he remembered that it was there.

“You know I hate these things.”

He didn’t let go of your hand for a second. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t you want me to have something’a yours to keep me company?”

Your laugh, again, and again. “You’re so lucky I love you.”

The bed creaked softly when he sat down on its edge, the frame shaking in his grip, and hey. There you were.

There was your smile.

It seemed to echo, or maybe he only wished it did.

“I’ll be back so soon, you won’t even notice I’m gone, sweetheart.”

“You better.”

The way you looked at him. Like you really believed him when he told the both of you that everything was going to be fine. That you would be the lucky ones. The exception.

He hated himself for letting you hope, but maybe this was his punishment; to be the one left behind, despite everything.

“I’m sorry,” he must have said, or cried, or screamed, because the house repeated it back to him, over and over.

“I’m sorry.”

And then, there was nothing.

anyone else need a tissue?

thank you so much for reading!! if you liked this, please consider leaving a comment or a reblog, or just come scream at me in my inbox. to see the less heartbreaking rest of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications <3

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #every dream gone

398 notes · View notes

edelweiss-coffee · 2 years

Note

i love your blogs aesthetic!!! can you write some eddie fluff where he notices his crush loves to draw flowers as a way to relax from the anxiety around the upside down and always borrows the library's flower books to use as references that he buys her a book of her own?

ofhwofhowehf I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

"you comin', y/n?" eddie coos softly to you.

without lookin up from your sketchbook, you nod.

"yeah, just let me finish up this linework..." you squeeze out.

"my little van gogh," he whispers, believing he's out of earshot.

"not van gogh, eds, just mentally ill," you drone, as you pack up your markers.

"did not think you could hear me. come on, we're gonna go see if dustin's girlfriend will give us the background we need for this new campaign."

"that's why we're going all the way up weathertop?"

"yeah, babe. cerebro?" he motions like he's holding a walkie-talkie.

"that’s right. sorry."

while tying up your shoes, your mind swirls with nervous energy. after all the shit you've seen in the last month, your thought process is thoroughly deteriorated. you don't have a second of peace unless you're engulfed in your sketchbook, trying to paint the very picture of serenity. everything just feels so, so bad.

"y'ready, honey?"

"yeah, eds, i'm ready. let's go check out cerebro."

it's only about a ten minute drive to weathertop, but you have to take your sketchbook out again on the way there. you open up your plant encyclopedia and turn to the limited section of florals. setting it next to you on the van's seat, you draw in your sketchbook while admiring a lily-of-the-valley.

"sweet girl," eddie sighs, sneaking glances at you when the road doesn't demand is attention. "you've been nose deep in that sketchbook for what? a week? talk to me."

he reaches over and squeezes your thigh.

"makes me feel better, eds. i'm havin' a hard time. told you this already."

"yeah, i know you told me. i just mean maybe talkin' about it will help it go away."

"talking about it will make me spiral. i don't like to 'cos i won't stop talking, and i'll start crying, and talkin' in circles, and it'll ruin the entire day. i'm sorry." you look up.

"i get it, angel. don't have to explain, or feel bad." he pulls the van over.

"what are you drawin, then?" he snatches up your sketchbook, flips through the pages.

"baby..." his mouth hangs agape.

"babe. these are fucking incredible. why so many lily-of-the-valleys? not a bad thing, they're so pretty. but are they special to you?"

you shake your head, and point at the botanicals book.

"there's only a few flowers in here. i can't draw anything from memory, so now i've got half a sketchbook full of one flower... but it helps."

"oh, my god, y/n. oh my god. hold on." he reaches into the center console.

"what're you doing, eds?"

"just hold on a minute, honey."

he puts the van in drive again and turns it around.

"eddie, where are we going?" you laugh.

"couldya just be patient? it'll be worth it. i promise."

within a few minutes, eddie is parking the van again.

"i'll be right back, okay?" he huffs.

you're on the commercial street of hawkins. boutiques, hawkins post, and the supermarket are here. you don't really hang around here often. he's left you with your thoughts again.

what is he doing?

ah, there he is, holding a blue paper bag. he opens up the driver's door and slides in.

"gotcha somethin'," he breathes.

he hands you the bag.

"eddie, what--" you open it. a book?

flowers, a golden guide. a guide to 200 of the most common wildflowers.

you are absolutely astonished.

"eddie, thank you! thank you so, so much. they only had a foliage one and this botanicals one at the library! thank you so much, eddie. this is so, so special to me."

his smile could put every single streetlight to shame.

"'m so glad you love it, baby. if it's flowers that you love, then flowers you shall have." he leans in until his forehead is touching yours.

" i love you the most, y/n."

"i love you even more."

#eddie munson x yn #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #asks

81 notes · View notes

the---hermit · 2 years

Text

07|10|2022

Not gonna lie to you yesterday's meeting with the professor totally demoralized and discouraged me. I have been feeling super tired for weeks, with things slowly going worse, but I always managed to keep my energies up. This morning I woke up with zero energy to work on this thesis, and I also didn't really want to do it anyway. So of course I had to force myself and now I'm even more tired and frustrated. It doesn't help that in the past few months I also had a couple of more personal things occupying my mind, and anytime I am a bit more moody these things come back kicking my ass. If you can't tell I cannot wait for this thesis and graduation thing to be over, I am so tired I don't have even words to describe it. In these past few years I have been slowly training myself to try to concentrate on the more positive sides of things, but I refuse to lie to myself when something, whatever it is feels like it's going wrong. I am incredibly happy with the choice I took to take a small pause after graduating and starting "late" with my master's degree courses in the second semester, because the closer I get to that, the more I realize how much I acutally need that pause to rest.

Productive things I did today:

found yet another set of titles of the chapters of my thesis (which hopefully will be fine this time)

started rereading and editing my thesis

almost finished my crochet sweater!

did my daily inktober dooble

practiced Irish on duolingo

Self care things I did today:

didn't pressure myself into doing too much and tried to take more breaks when I felt like I needed to take one

crocheting while listening to an audiobook

took some time to draw on my actual sketchbook after more than a year

📖:The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake (I a now a little over the half of this novel, and I must admit that although it took me a little over three hours of the audiobook to get really into the story I am now really intrigued by it!)

🎵: Sleepwalking by All Time Low (no matter how low my days might be their music makes me feel instantly better and this new song rocks tbh)

#studyblr #studyinspo #uniblr #university #currently reading #book #bookblr #studying #myhoneststudyblr #hiyatranquil #proeuctivity #motivation #self care #journaling #mine #the---hermit

59 notes · View notes

warmaidensrevenge · 1 year

Text

Always seen you.

Pairings: Eddie x Fem!Insecure plus size reader x Friend!Elio x Friend!Billy

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Hi friends. Welcome back to my series finale. This was a little rushed because I have a few requests I would like to work on as well as finishing up my papa!Eddie fic. Keep an eye out for them this upcoming week. I was inspired by three songs. So check them out if you want. Shout out to @salenorona23 for your ideas. Appreciate you. Anyways, thanks for reading babes. As always feedback is greatly appreciated and asks or comments are welcomed. Kay love ya byeeee.

Warnings: 18+ Language, sexual implications, fluff, slight angst, happy ending. Not proof read.

I do not give permission for my work to be used on any other site. Respect all creators/writers. Thanks.

Word count: 6,506

Summary: No one's gonna love you like Eddie does. And that's okay, because no one's gonna love him like you do.

Part 23 - Ending

🖤💚

The next morning you were up early. Doing what you had been doing for the past two months. The only difference this time, Eddie was sitting across from you while you drew him.

" Stop making faces." You grinned.

Eddie smirked. " I can't help it. They make you smile."

You pressed your lips to hold the smile back, adding the finishing touches.

" You know Angel, I think we should come here again. Just us next time."

You looked over your glasses, pushing them up when all you saw was a blur.

" That sounds fun. But only for like a week. Because to be honest with you… I really miss regular outlets. And I'm a little tired of pasta."

Eddie laughed. "Yeah. I think I put on at least ten pounds since I got here." He looked down, grabbing his stomach. Pushing it out to make it look bigger.

You smiled. He actually looked really good with a healthy layer of cushion around his tummy.

" I like your little belly."

Eddie gave you a wink.

You shook your head, closing your sketchbook.

" You keep moving, Eds."

He got up and went behind you. Wrapping his arms around your chest.

" I'm sorry Angel."

" Ehhh it's fine. I finished it a while ago...just liked to see you squirm."

Eddie gasped" How dare you?!'

You giggled as he started to tickle you.

" Eddieeee!" You said through a fit of laughter.

" Nope! You totally deserve it"

You were wriggling so much that your book fell open and Eddie took a second to pick it up. You tried to grab it but he pulled it away. Flipping through the pages.

" Eddie please don't." You pleaded.

You were actually embarrassed by them. You always had a slight insecurity about your drawings. You barely showed them to anyone. Other than the contest one and the book you made for Eddie, no one has seen the ones you've been drawing lately.

Eddie was amazed. " Angel…these…these are incredible."

He looked at all the scenery pictures in aww. Then he saw the ones of him. They were so good that they looked like black and white photographs. Except for his eyes. You captured the color so well. He continued admiring them until a letter fell out.

He saw the name on it before you picked it up and walked into the room.

Eddie followed you and saw you put on some high waist jeans with your flip flops.

" Where you goin'?"

" Umm. I totally forgot to send this."

He sat on the bed. " So you're going now?"

You turned to look at him when his tone changed.

" Eds, I should have sent this a long time ago. He deserves to know that it's not gonna happen."

" But a letter Angel? That just seems so… impersonal."

You sighed and sat next to him. Fidgeting with the postage.

" I know. And I hate that I can't do it in person. But he's been waiting for a while. And I feel like such an asshole for it."

Eddie nodded and started rubbing your back. " I really think you shouldn't send that. How about you call him and ask to meet up as soon as you get back."

You nodded. " Okay. I guess he waited this long. Another month won't be so bad."

" Well I didn't say that."

You looked at him and pouted.

" Angel. You don't want to be with him and he needs to here it from you. He might not be happy and you'll probably lose him as a friend. But you gotta tell him face to face."

You put your head on his shoulder.

" I just don't want to hurt him, Eds. He really is a good friend."

" I know….I know."

A minute or two passes when you took a deep breath and went for the phone.

It rang a few times before Billy finally answered.

" Sweets? Damn I was just about to leave."

" Oh I'm sorry. Do you want to talk later?"

" Uhhh I would like to but I'm kinda gonna be getting on a plane in about 3 hours."

Your brows pinched together. " Where are you going?"

Billy grinned looking at a picture of you, him and Elio on his fridge.

" I'm coming to see you sweets."

Your mouth dropped open and you felt the air get snatched out of your lungs. " W-w-what?"

You heard Billy laugh and felt Eddie's hand on your shoulder.

" What is it Angel?" Eddie whispered.

You looked up at Eddie and shook your head.

" No. Billy don't."

Billy's smile faded. " What? I want to see you. I only got a couple of days off but I want-"

" I-I-I…Billy please. Please don't come here. I…I have to talk to you. But I want to do it when I come home."

" Why can't you do it when I'm there?"

" Billy please-"

" Angel what-"

"Sweets?"

You covered the receiver and answered Eddie first. " He was just about to leave and get on a plane to come here."

Eddie furrowed his brow. He wanted to take the phone away from you and tell Billy to back off. But he stopped himself because you guys weren't together yet. So it wasn't his place. Even though he felt like it was.

When you saw that look on Eddie you knew you had to say something.

" Sweets?"

You sighed. " Billy, Eddie's here."

The silence that fell on the phone was awful. You could feel Billy's heart breaking.

Eddie looked at you and was happy that you said that. But when he saw the tears in your eyes all he wanted to do was hold you.

Billy cleared his throat. " So you chose him then?"

" I…Billy please. I want to sit down and talk when I come back. "

Billy was so angry. When were you gonna learn that Eddie wasn't the one for you? He dropped his duffle bag and rubbed his face. No matter how this turned out. He couldn't be mad at you.

" Alright. Umm you know where to find me."

" Yeah. "

" I'll see you soon, sweets."

" Y-yeah. See you."

You hung up the phone and turned to Eddie. Burying your face in his chest. He hugged you while you cried and kissed the top of your head.

" I hope he doesn't hate me….I hope I didn't make you hate me."

Eddie leaned back and lifted your face by your chin.

" He doesn't hate you and I never could. All I feel for you…all I ever felt is-"

" Guys want to go to the beach?" Elio said, walking in on the moment.

Eddie didn't look away from you though. Instead he smiled and laughed a little. " Just like old times. Trying to say how we feel and get interrupted."

You gave him a half hearted smile. " Do you think there will ever be a time when it doesn't happen?"

" Our luck. Probably not."

You frowned and looked at Elio. " Yeah. The beach sounds fun. I need some vitamin D."

Elio smirked. " Me too."

Eddie chuckled and winked at Elio.

" Ugh both of you are pervs."

…

Eddie left the next day with the promise of seeing you soon. It took everything you had to not leave with him. The parting wasn't so much of a goodbye as it was I'll see you soon.

You gave him a long hug and kiss on the cheek. When you walked away you didn't look back.

How am I gonna go a month without you Eds?

It was a week later and you had just about enough of Italy. You missed your bed and your family. But most of all you missed Eddie.

One night you sat out on the balcony and opened your book. A note fell out. You picked it up and read it.

'Angel,

I just wanted to say have a great time. You deserve all the happiness in the world. I wish I could tell you what I really want to say. But that's gonna have to wait. Take care of yourself.

Love Eds'

Elio joined you. " What's that?"

You folded the paper back up and put it back in your book.

" Nothing much. Just Eddie being Eddie."

" Hmmm. So…did you tell him how you feel?"

You nodded. " I did. But…I don't think I want that anymore."

" What do you mean?"

You looked up at the sky. Admiring the stars that shine so bright there.

" I want to be with him."

" Yeah?"

You sighed. " Yeah. "

Elio smiled and stood up. Holding out his hand for you. " Then let's go get your guy."

You grinned while taking it. But you stopped, pulling him back.

" I have to talk to Billy first."

Elio pressed his lips. " Uhhh yeah. Probably do that."

" I'm not looking forward to it."

" Well if you need me. I'll be there."

You hugged him.

"Thank you E. For everything."

He smiled, hugging you back.." you're welcome. Now…" he pulled away. " Let's go home."

…

You were standing outside of Billy's house. You had just got back and the first thing you did was catch a bus over. All you had to do now was knock.

When he answered the door he motioned for you to come in. You followed him to the couch and sat.

It was quiet for a minute before Billy shifted.

" How was your trip?"

You half smiled. " It was good. Very beautiful."

"That's good. I uhhh I missed you…and E."

You nodded. " Missed you too."

You guys were quiet again. This time the tension between you two was almost unbearable.

" So Eddie went?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

" He did."

" He just showed up?"

You started fidgeting with the hem of your shorts. " No…I invited him."

Billy sighed and moved again. " Does he know about us?"

" Billy there is no us."

" How can you say that? I know you felt something too. You kissed me back."

I…I know I did. But-"

" But nothing Y/n. You can't just ignore what's happening."

" I'm not ignoring it. That's why I'm here. To tell you the truth."

Billy hung his head. " What's the truth? That you want to be with him until he hurts you again. Have me waiting on the sidelines."

"N-no. Billy, Eddie and I are not together."

Well not yet.

" Then what were you guys doing there? Don't tell me he just came to hang out."

" He…he came to spend time with me."

Billy looked at you. " And nothing happened?"

You pressed your lips together and looked away.

" Why y/n? Why did you do that? Do you really think so little of yourself?"

You met his eyes and he didn't even look mad. He looked genuinely concerned.

" Billy look, being with Eddie doesn't make me smaller. Or less of a person. What we have…is something that just is. When we're together everything feels right. It feels good. And I get that you've seen me and helped me when I was at my lowest. That you think he's wrong for me. But he's not. You never saw him with me. He cares about me. He looks and treats me like I'm the only person in the world for him. He makes me feel beautiful and loved. I know he would do anything for me."

" I would too y/n. Don't I make you feel beautiful? Don't you see that I only have eyes for you? Can't you feel my love?"

You sniffled, wiping your tears away.

" You don't understand. You say those things and I feel like they're misplaced. You would do anything for me because that's what friends do. You don't make me feel beautiful. You make me feel nice. Just nice. I can't feel your love because it's not real. Well maybe it is. But not how you think. And you say you only have eyes for me when you just really want you too…but I'm not it. You're so focused on me that you don't even see the ones who looked at you like that."

He leaned forward. " I don't care how other girls look at me. All I care about is you…I love you."

You hung your head.

" Sweets please. You know this isn't going to end well for you. Regardless if you guys stay friends or not. Sooner or later he's gonna hurt you again…I would never do that to you. I would never do or say anything that could."

You stood up and walked towards the door. But you stopped just before reaching for the handle.

" You say you love me right?"

Billy stood up too. "Yeah…I love you y/n."

You turned around and looked at him.

" If you do then you know all the important stuff about me. Like the name of the highschool I graduated from, or why I used to live in a trailer before I came here."

Billy sat back down and looked away.

" Do you know how I like my coffee? Or how I met one of the most important person in my life?"

Billy couldn't look at you. He was ashamed. He should have known all that stuff about you.

When he was quiet for a while you felt bad. You knew he wouldn't know the answers. But it didn't matter. Because there was one person who did. And Billy wasn't him.

"I'm really sorry. I know you wanted this. And that you were waiting for an answer. I'm truly sorry for making you think you had a chance. You didn't deserve the silence. You're my friend and I should have told you how I felt about Eddie that night we kissed…I do love you Billy...But not the way I love him. I can't love anyone else. I don't want to."

He finally looked at you with tears in his eyes.

" I would have loved you forever, you know."

You frowned because you knew he would have.

" But I would have never been able to love you back. Not in the way you want or need."

Billy got up and cupped your face. "I love you sweets. And if you ever need me." He leaned in. " I will always be here."

He gave you a kiss on the cheek and met your forehead with his.

…

Thanksgiving came up so fast. You almost forgot to pack for Hawkins. The past two months have been jam packed with a new project you were working on and with school. It all became a little bit crazy. But finally you were gonna go see your family.

Ever since the conversation with Billy, he worked a lot. He came around once in a while. But just for a few minutes.

Eddie of course was working on the new album and doing shows. He tried calling you since Italy. But as usual both of you were busy. Not that you were upset about not talking to him as much as you would like. But that you hadn't got the chance to say that you wanted to be together. For real this time. That wasn't something to write in a letter or say over the phone. So you waited.

Thanksgiving being the perfect opportunity to finally put it out there.

Eddie said he was going to be late because his flight was delayed. But he was at the airport, determined to be the first one on.

When you finally got to Hawkins, something was different. You didn't know what. But something was. There was a lot going on that you had no idea the gravity of it.

Matthew was waiting for you when you got off the plane. You guys hugged each other and went home. The ride was mostly quiet. Not that you minded. You were super tired.

When you guys pulled into the trailer park everything was covered in a thin blanket of snow. You had noticed a moving truck parked out front. Too tired to ask anything, you got out of the car and went to your room after you gave Bethany a hug. When you walked in you dropped your bag and threw yourself on the bed. You said a silent ' goodnight Eds.' before passing out.

In the morning you woke up and finally looked around. All that was left in the small room was the bed and the nightstand.

What the hell?

You got up and went to the kitchen. Bethany was making breakfast and you went to get some water. While grabbing her little tummy you asked.

" Hey so ummm where's my stuff?"

" Uhhh sit down. I have news."

You nodded and went to the dining table.

Bethany put a plate in front of you and sat down.

" Nothing bad is it?" You asked buttering your toast.

" No sweetie. It's good news. Very good news."

You took a bite and smiled.

" So umm first things first. We're moving."

Your eyes widened and you stopped chewing.

" That's why there's a moving truck outside. Matthew and I bought a 4 bedroom house near my parents." She grabbed her belly. " I'm gonna need all the help I can get since I'm having twins."

You froze mid chew.

"You-you're having t-two?"

Bethany giggled. " Yup. So we're gonna need a bigger place."

" Oh my God!" You put down your toast and got up to hug her. " That's insane…well duh you're definitely going to need a much bigger place. With a big backyard."

Bethany laughed again while hugging you back. " That's the plan."

You sat back down shaking your head.

Twins!

" So when is the official move?" You asked, taking a sip of coffee.

" So we were thinking just after Thanksgiving. There isn't much left here. Just the furniture."

You nodded. " And the trailer?"

" Well, I want to see if you want to keep it or let someone else move in."

The thought of another family moving into your home made you sad. But at the same time it was unrealistic to keep it when you only came there for holidays.

" Umm I would like to keep it. But it's pointless. I live in Cambridge."

" Yeah… Just thought I would ask."

You nodded again picking at your hash browns.

" So uhhh my stuff?"

Bethany gave you a smile. She didn't want to ruin Eddie's surprise so she said a little white lie.

" Well all of it is in storage near your dorm. We had it shipped there." Bethany got up and went to the kitchen.

She came back and set a key in front of you. " This is the key to the lock. Whenever you're ready you can check it out."

You smiled. " That's cool. I'll give you the money for the storage."

You got up to grab your purse.

" Oh no. Don't worry about it. It wasn't much."

" No. No. You guys don't need to spend any more money than you have to."

You pulled out your wallet and pulled out a crisp new 100 dollar bill.

" Sweetie no. Really it's fine."

" Take it. And just save it for the babies."

Bethany's smile got bigger. " Okay. But for the babies and not the storage."

You sat back down and beamed at her.

" You know." You put a hand on her tummy. "These little buns are gonna have the best mommy."

She put her hand on yours. " And they are gonna have the best aunt."

…

While getting ready for bed that night you looked out your bedroom window. You felt a pain in your heart seeing the Munson's trailer. For just a short period in time you were neighbors with Eddie Munson. You were in a place that finally felt like home. With the boy of your dreams just a stone's throw away.

But Eddie didn't live there anymore. And he hadn't for almost two years. Still you wished his light would turn on. You still wished you could watch him play his guitar or write out a new campaign, while you were supposed to be studying.

Oh how things have changed.

Eddie finally got to Hawkins and it was pretty late. He didn't even bother going to see his uncle. He went straight to yours. When he knocked, your brother answered.

" Hey man."

"Hey Eddie. Come on in."

" Thanks."

Eddie took off his jacket and gave your brother a hug.

" How are things?" He asked.

Matthew sighed. " It's good. Just moving is a bitch."

" Does she know that her stuff is at my place?"

" Nah. She thinks it's in storage."

Eddie grinned. " Cool. I'm gonna bring her to it when she goes back."

Matthew gave him a half smile. " That's good. She'll be happy."

" I hope so."

Eddie started for your room when Matthew stopped him.

" Eddie man, don't fuck this up this time."

Eddie nodded. " I won't. I swear. I won't."

Eddie crept into your room and smiled seeing you sound asleep. He got undressed and climbed into bed with you. Though you didn't wake up you snuggled with him. He kissed your forehead and whispered.

" I'm here Angel. And I love you."

When you woke up, the happiness you felt was overwhelming. Eddie came home. You pushed his hair behind his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

" You're here, Eds."

While Eddie slept you and Bethany started cooking. It was a little after 1 pm when Eddie and your brother finally got up.

Eddie gave you a big beautiful smile.

" Morning Angel."

With your hand in a turkey you smiled back. " Afternoon Eds. How was the flight?"

Eddie came around the counter, hugging you from behind.

" Just terrible Angel. Screaming babies and loud ladies talking about how scared they were to fly."

"Hmmm and you endured all that to be here?"

" To be here with you."

You smiled . " Well aren't you sweet?"

Eddie kissed the top of your head. " I missed you Angel."

" I missed you too, Eds. Now let me finish this turkey. I want to talk to you about something later."

Eddie gave you one last squeeze. " Oh no. Please tell me it's nothing bad?"

You shook your head. " No. Nothing bad."

" Okay. I'm gonna go say hi to my uncle. I'll be back soon."

You nodded and watched him leave.

" What are you gonna talk about?" Matthew asked.

You grinned at him. " I think I'm ready now. I want to tell him I want to be together."

" Are you sure?" Bethany asked.

You looked at her. " Yes. But it's gonna be different this time around. I'll make sure of it."

Bethany and Matthew both have you approving smiles.

Later that night everyone was sitting around the kitchen table saying things they were grateful for.

When it was your turn you looked at your little family.

" I'm thankful for all of you. You guys have been so good to me and have always been so supportive. That I don't know who I would be without each and every one of you."

You smiled at your lap seeing Eddie's hand on your thigh.

" Alright." Eddie said with a huge grin. " I'm thankful for -"

He was suddenly cut off by a knock on the door.

Bethany looked at the door. " Are we expecting anyone else Mattie?"

Your brother shook his head.

" I'll get it." You said getting up.

When you opened the door you were immediately scared.

" Matthew!"

Your brother quickly got up and went to you.

" Mom? Dad? What the hell are you doing here?"

Next thing you knew Eddie pulled you back and stood in front of you.

" Hi babies. Umm we came to say happy Thanksgiving. We uhh we brought you a pie." Your mom said.

Matthew was pissed. " You're not welcome here."

Your dad took a step up. "Look son, we're really sorry for everything we put you and your sister through. We just wanted to see you guys."

" Well we don't want to see you. Don't ever come back here!"

Your brother stepped back and slammed the door on them. Eddie turned around and cupped your face.

" Are you okay Angel?"

You swallowed thickly. " I…I want to talk to them."

Matthew turned around. " What for?! They have nothing good to say."

You looked at Matthew. " I know. But they're still our parents."

Matthew shook his head and Eddie made you look at him.

" I'm going with you."

You licked your lips. " Okay."

When you went outside your parents were just about to get in the car. Eddie was only a step behind you when you started talking.

" Happy Thanksgiving."

Your dad looked up and looked sad.

" Happy Thanksgiving baby girl."

You went to them and gave both an awkward hug.

" Look, I know that we all have stuff to say to one another. But we're good. Me and Matthew are doing great…I hope that you understand that we don't want you a part of our lives…I do love you because you gave birth to me. But I need you to never come looking for us again."

You took a step back and grabbed Eddie's hand when you saw the fury in your mother's eyes.

Your dad sighed. " Let's go honey."

You stood there with Eddie watching your parents drive away. A tear escaped and Eddie quickly caught it.

"Don't cry Angel. They're gone."

You nodded. " I just...We're safe now."

Eddie hugged you. " You were always safe. Ever since you left."

" That's because of you and Wayne."

Eddie held you tighter. " I promised that I would. And I will always keep that promise."

You kissed his chest. " I know you will."

…

You were getting ready for dinner with Eddie. After Thanksgiving you didn't get the chance to tell him you wanted to be together. But now it was 2 weeks later and you were back at school. Eddie was in town and asked you out. The plan was to ask him to be your boyfriend over dinner. And if things went well. You would spend the night with him.

Eddie stopped at the market before he went to get you. Making sure to get you the prettiest flowers they had. That's when he ran into Billy.

"Uhh hey man." Eddie said awkwardly.

" Hey."

" Umm how are you?"

" I'm okay. Dating a girl."

That was fast. Eddie thought.

" Oh cool."

" Yeah. I work with her. Guess she had liked me for a long time."

Eddie smiled. " Oh that's ummm cool."

"Yeah."

There was a weird silence that fell. Eddie gave him a nod.

" I uhh better get going."

" Hold on. I want to ask you something."

" O-okay?"

Billy sighed. " Who is the most important person in y/n's life and how did they meet?"

Eddie raised a brow and tilted his head. It was a weird question but he thought what was the harm.

"Umm well you're probably thinking it's me right?"

Billy nodded

" Shit I wish it was. But yeah. No. It's actually my uncle."

Billy looked confused.

" It was just before we started dating. She had a lot of issues with her parents. One night all those came to a head. I uhhh wasn't able to get there in time. I was a mess that night. But my uncle, being the good guy he is, stood up for her and Matthew. Gave them a safe place to stay. My uncle liked her a lot before he met her. And more after. He sees her as a daughter. And she sees him like a dad. We both do…every since that night, she's been close to him. I think more than me. But I can't be mad. He's very important to me too. He always supported us. Supported her."

Billy looked away. " I didn't know that."

" You couldn't. It's something she doesn't like talking about."

" But she did with you."

" That's because was her best friend. And we spent almost every waking moment together before I left."

" Yeah?"

Eddie gave him a thin lip smile. " Yeah....So umm."

" You should probably go."

Eddie gave him a handshake and started for the door.

" Hey umm one more thing. How does she like her coffee?"

Eddie chuckled. He knew Billy was trying to convince himself that he was the one for you.

He turned his head and looked at him.

" It depends."

Billy shook his head. That's all he needed to know. " Right. Well umm take care of her. She's a good girl."

Eddie nodded and left with a smile.

She is a good girl. The best actually. And she's going to be mine again.

When you went outside Eddie was leaning on his van, holding flowers.

" Hi Angel."

" H-hey. When did you have time to get your van?"

You closed the distance and took the flowers.

" I uhhh had it stored in a garage here. For when I come for you. I have wheels."

He gave you a hug and opened the passenger door.

" M'lady."

You gave him a sweet smile and hopped in. " Thank you Ser Munson."

Eddie chuckled and helped buckle you in. " You looked really beautiful tonight Angel."

You giggled. " No you."

Eddie laughed again and closed the door. Jogging to his side.

" So I uhhh found this place that I liked. It's a small bistro called Sips Cafè."

" Oh I know that place. They have the best blueberry scones."

Eddie grinned. " I like those too."

You both smiled and talked about what happened the past two weeks. Eddie signed a new contract for 3 more albums. As well as accepting a spot on a world tour. You had hit a snag in your project and been working effortlessly trying to figure out a solution.

When you guys pulled up to the cafè Eddie got out and opened the door for you. Offering his hand.

" Eds I think they're closed." You said taking his hand.

" Oh no. I rented the place out. So it could just be us. I don't want our dinner to be interrupted by fans."

You give him a sweet smile. " That's nice of you."

Eddie led you inside. Pulling out a chair for you. You guys sat and ate. Talking about Eddie's upcoming tour. Ever since Bad Decisions, the band started getting noticed a hell of a lot more. And word had it that one day soon they might be performing at Madison square garden. Which you could not be more proud of your friends.

After dinner Eddie started leading you up a staircase.

" Eds I don't think we can come up here."

" Don't worry Angel. It's all gonna be okay."

When you guys got to a door, Eddie turned to you.

" Do you have that key Bethany gave you?"

You were confused. " Umm yeah?"

" Can I have it?"

You looked in your purse and pulled out the key.

" Bethany said it was to a storage unit."

Eddie just smiled at you as he unlocked the door. He then gave you back the key and pushed open the door for you.

You gave him a worried look but all he did was smile and nodded for you to go in. When you went, it was dark until Eddie flipped a switch.

A little gasp left you when you saw the place. It was a huge studio apartment. Filled with all of Eddie's things. Then you saw some of your stuff around.

You walked in more studying the place. " Eds, is this your place?"

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. " Yeah…I erm I got it when you were in Italy."

As you continued to look around you smiled to yourself, seeing the big framed picture that was a copy of the one Wayne gave you.

You pointed at the picture." You have one too?"

" Actually. That's yours. I umm took it from the trailer."

You met his eyes and they were just slits from the big beautiful smile he had.

You walked through the apartment and saw your desk with art supplies. Eddie came behind you.

" Umm for when you want to come over and draw."

You smiled got bigger when you felt his hand in yours. You moved around towards the living room. That's when your eyes found a trophy case. As you got closer you saw all of your awards. Not just the second place ones. But the first place ones too.

" H-How?"

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck again. " That was all Wayne. He got them from your parents. He thought you might want them."

Tears filled your eyes seeing the only one that mattered. Your award for your sketch for the Hawkins Post. And right next to it was Eddie's first B+ paper. You're heart filled seeing that one.

Eddie then led you behind a partition.

" This is the bedroom area." He said letting go of your hand.

Your eyes followed him to the large dresser.

" Half of the drawers are empty. For umm when or if you want to bring some stuff."

Was this really happening? Did Eddie buy an apartment for us?

All you could do was smile. This was a lot to comprehend.

" Oh and the best part." Eddie motioned you to follow him out to the terrace.

He flipped a switch and there were twinkle lights all around the railing and hanging on top. When you took a closer look you noticed something.

" Eds. Are those my lights I've been working on?"

Eddie smirked. " Yeah. Umm Elio helped me get some. I know you're still working on them to last longer. But I wanted you to see that I think they're perfect."

You looked at a bench that was covered up. When Eddie saw that he went over and lifted the tarp. It was a small work table.

" I thought you might need a place to work. Then maybe after you graduate, you can help convert our stage lights to yours. Maybe even help with set designs."

You wiped your tears away.

" Eds you didn't have to do this."

He came to you and cupped your face. " I wanted to. I want to have a place that feels like home to you. "

" What about you? You can't live here and live in LA. That's too much money."

" Angel, I don't live in LA anymore. My home is wherever you are."

He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.

" I…I don't know what to say…everything is so.." you bit your lip and looked deep into his eyes. " Beautiful."

Eddie hugged you and kissed your forehead. " Not as beautiful as you."

You guys held each other for a minute before Eddie said he forgot dessert.

" I'll be right back."

You nodded and watched him leave.

When Eddie got back he had a plate full of cupcakes.

"Angel?"

He set the plate on the counter and looked around for you. When he found you, you were in bed, holding the blanket to your chest.

" Angel? Are you-"

" I am."

He chuckled. " You don't want dessert first?"

" No…I want you."

He got undressed and climbed in with you. He was just about to kiss you when you stopped him.

" Eds, I want us to be together…I want to be your girlfriend again."

He gave you a sweet smile. " Are you ready now?"

" Since Italy."

Before he kissed you he caressed your cheek. " I love you y/n. And I promise that I always will. I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never forget it."

You held out your pinky. Eddie smiled and hooked it with his.

" I love you too, Eds. Always. "

…

Two years later you were walking with Eddie in a zoo. It was a cold winter so you guys were bundled up pretty good.

" Do you remember when we did that Rocky scene for Mrs Adler?"

You smiled. " Which one?"

" The second one."

" I do. It was one of the very first memories I have of wanting to kiss you."

Eddie grinned. " It was one of mine too. I wanted to kiss you so bad."

You laughed. " Should have."

" I was but then Mrs Adler stopped it."

" Yeah. She's such a butt." You giggled.

Eddie chuckled. " You have no idea."

You guys stopped at the tiger enclosure.

" I really like those movies."

" Rocky?" You asked.

" Yeah. They're so good. Had a lot of emotional scenes."

" Yeah they do."

" You uhhh you want to do one? Like old times."

You looked at him with raised brows. " Right now?"

Eddie nodded. " Yeah. Maybe we can do the one where they're in the zoo?"

" Well it is kinda perfect seeing that we're in a zoo."

Eddie turned his body towards you and grinned.

You cleared your throat and started.

(You as Adrien)

"What are we doin' here at the zoo?"

(Eddie as Rocky)

"Oh, ya know, I kinda like the zoo a lot, you know It's a special place, especially when it snows, ya know, it kinda smells clean and everything like that you know? Don't you like the zoo? Huh?"

(You)

"I like the zoo."

(Eddie)

"Yeah, me too….You know, I was wonderin', like...What do you think you're doin' for, like, the next, uh... 40 or 50 years?"

(You)

"What do you mean?"

(Eddie)

"Uhhhhhh…. I was wonderin' if, uh... you wouldn't mind marrying me very much?"

(You)

"What'd ya say?"

Eddie got closer and lifted your beanie a little.

(Eddie)

"If you wouldn't mind marryin' me too much."

Why does it feel like you're really asking me?

(You)

"Yes. I'd like to marry you."

(Eddie smiled)

"Yeah?"

(You)

"Yes."

Eddie stepped closer to you and grabbed your hand.

" Marry me Angel?"

Your eyes softened as you smiled.

" Yes, Eds. I'll marry you."

Eddie chuckled. " Yeah?"

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Yes."

Eddie kissed you to seal the deal. " I love you so much Angel. And I can't wait to start a family."

" Ahhh… not too soon I hope. Gotta finish school first."

" Well duh! And we have to finish moving into the house."

" Is that why we got a big one?"

Eddie kissed you again. " Our babies need the room."

" Babies? As in multiple?"

" Yeah baby. We're gonna fill a tour bus."

You giggled. " Is that right?"

" Absolutely! I can see it now." He put up his hand and gestured. " Corroded Coffin and The Munson's."

" I like the sound of that."

Eddie pulled you along to finish the visit.

" Finally gonna make it official."

" Make what official?" You asked

" Making you mine forever and ever."

You smiled up at him. " I was already yours forever."

" I know. But now the whole world will know. That an Angel officially took me off the market."

You laughed playfully pushing him.

Eddie smirked and finished the scene. This time with a Philly accent.

"I'll be a good guy, I promise. I ain't gonna do nothin' wrong. I ain't gonna leave no hair in the sink or nothin' like that, you know? Things are gonna be great, you know that? Hey, hey we're gettin' married, you know! You wanna come? If you can get out for the weekend, I'll send you an invitation Mr. Tiger. That's fantastic, ain't it?"

You shook your head. " You're too much Eds."

" Not too much I hope."

You grinned. " Never."

…

@chloe-6123 @irishhappiness @idkidknemore @hiscrimsonangel @hellv1ra @browneyes528 @b-irock @erinsingalong @salenorona23 @eddie-is-a-god @screaming-blue-bagel

#Spotify #fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie series #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #plus size reader #always seen you series #finale

21 notes · View notes

lunanoc · 7 months

Text

Fic Stats Game

Rules: Give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and your fic with the least amount of words.

tagged by both @spinecorset and @tat-ch sorry it's taken me this long to actually do this, thank you for tagging! ironically i have less published fics than there are slots for this game and all of these entries are dmbj, specifically pingxie fics (shocking i know)

first most hits and fourth most comments : in a landscape of having to repeat i have mixed feelings about this one mostly because it's the first thing i wrote after over a decade of not writing anything (and i was a teenager then) and is also the first piece of personal writing i ever finished period. so a lot of it was experimental and trying to get a feel for writing again in general. i tend to view it as the weaker fic of the ones i've written so far because of that among other things (like it being written at a time i was still largely unfamiliar with the books and i feel it shows in some details), but on the flipside, it's also probably one of if not my most self-indulgent one since it's a timeloop fic and i love that trope a lot. i also wrote it for a good friend (you know who you are <3) so for that it's also special

second most kudos: alight and tempered coincidentally also written for aforementioned good friend (<3). i'm tentative to say this mostly because i tend to be hypercritical of anything i make more often than not (i guess that comes with being your own beta), but i think this one might be my favorite of the things i've written so far. it's got iron triangle shenanigans, xiaoge pov, wu xie pov, and i like to think it has a nice amount of variety going on from comic beats to more serious parts and is overall fluff because i'm a sap. idk i just like exploring the unspoken elements of pingxie's relationship since so much of what they say to each other is in subtext between them anyway so this is just one attempt at it

third most bookmarks: and there will be time this one is 100% self-indulgent, case in point i impulse wrote it for wu xie's birthday week since i saw practically no one doing anything for it so i took matters into my own hands lol. i tagged it "gonna give him all the things" "xiaoge is too" and tbh that's it that's the fic. it's pingxie spending a quiet day together with no fanfare, not much else.

fifth most words and least words: my hand was the one you reached for another one also written for another good friend (you know who you are too <3) i swear practically everything i write ends up as prompted or unprompted gifts for other people lol. the entire premise of this was "hey wu xie studied architecture and in the books is mentioned as sketching a fair amount, what if instead of journaling during the sha hai period as he usually does because it was so harrowing he had a sketchbook of xiaoge doodles he carried around" followed by "what if xiaoge found the sketchbook later though" and that's it that's the fic. i'm not 100% sure about the characterization for this one to be completely honest but like everything else i'm just gonna leave it there because it's there anyway

bonus because considering i only have one other fic i get to shamelessly plug for once ok: the cruelest month and again written for another good friend (this is a pattern and yes you also know who you are <3) this one is very different from the other ones and was definitely the hardest to write for a number of reasons. the pingxie is mostly background in that xiaoge isn't there for a majority of the fic because this is essentially a detailed character study of wu xie throughout the entirety of sha hai and what leads up to it. which is very daunting. and i'm not convinced i did the complexity it deserves justice. so it tries to be an exploration of his mindset, of how that plays into his relationships with other characters, and how that ultimately plays into his gradual realization of his feelings for xiaoge while xiaoge is behind the gate. with a "what if the snake pheromones gave him the latent ability to perceive intent and emotion from the people around him too" twist. it's about 8 different things in a trenchcoat but well

tagging @shaish, @kelly42fox, @child-of-the-fairy-folk, @difeisheng, and anyone else who feels up to it!

#tag game #fanfic

2 notes · View notes

fakeloveaskblog · 2 years

Note

(Hi, me again. It made me chuckle when Virgil was having a crisis over us Watchers shape changing abilities. I must admit it sparked my own curiosity as well. Also welcome back to unofficial therapy with Virgil, brought to you by Glow Eyes.)

Not to worry Virgil, I will make the finest toad-in-the-hole with gravy, potato salad and peas that you will ever have. (The meal is totally not based on what I had a few weeks ago. (That was sarcasm by the way.)) You will not have to worry about food for a while.

I can’t make any promises about cleaning though. I am notoriously bad at that. Also good idea with the box of Remy’s stuff, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

I’m sure that I can speak for all Watchers when I say that we will do everything in our power to prevent you from doing anything that would hurt Remy and I can certainly speak for myself when I say I will do everything in my power to try and prevent you from hurting yourself.

*disinfects and applies bandages to Virgil’s hand*

*hands Virgil a plate of food*

*eyes glow a comforting orange*

Your doing well. I’m proud of you. Remember, baby steps.

Glow Eyes

Tw: misgendering in the under the cut part

It had been about a day since you'd last chatted with Virgil. He was laying on the couch, still in his work clothes with a half drunk bottle of beer in his hand.

When he heard your voice he groggily rubbed his eyes and squinted up at you. He'd barely talked to anyone today, not even at work. He'd forgotten to eat and drink anything until now....and well beer wasn't that good for hydrating. It had been a long while since he'd gone through an entire cigarette package in one day. A headache dunked in his head from all the ugly crying he'd done in between working.

As soon as he heard your first sentence he let up into a shit eating lil smirk "Ghostie I have no fucking idea what kind of food you just said but it sounds like shit so I assume it's british ay" He chuckled "Not like I'm gonna say no to free food like ever. 'Specially not now"

He sat up in the couch and finished the bottle. He sat it on the growing pile of trash laying on the coffee table.

“I had like thought maybe you or one of your uh friends had cleaning? powers? But I guess you gotta have some limits or you’d have destroyed the universe by now” He scratched on the black nailpolish on his bitten down fingers “I hope Remy appreciates it too”

It took a few seconds of him making the sourest facial expression possibly before he continued.

“I uh I kinda- with Remy’s- with a lot of Remy’s stuff uh gone from the closet I saw some of my old stuff I’d put in there. I- Just- I can show you I guess. Have a laugh about it. Be two funny wankers or whatever the fuck the british say”

While he went over to the closet in the bedroom he quietly contemplated how a ghost could be british. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility that you or the other ghost could have been actual living human beings once.

He peered around in the closet before pulling out a stack of yellowing sketchbooks and taking them with him to the kitchen. He poured them out onto the floor and began to look through them while you started to make dinner.

“Believe it or not but...and this might sound shocking...But I an angsty emo used to draw angsty emo doodles in middle and high school”

He opened a random page and immediately went pale with shame. He looked like he was either going to throw up or eat the entire book in one bite.

“Oh god I’d forgotten I’d tried to calligraphy my favorite super duper deep song lyrics. Like let’s see” He fake coughed before beginning to read aloud like a Shakespeare actor “‘Whiskey seems to be my holy water’. Yes. Very deep. Very sad. For your knowledge I had not drank any alcohol by the time I wrote that down. I only drank with Remy. Drank and drank. I more like sipped on their drinks”

He skimmed through a few pages and showed you some doodles. It was mostly simple things. Skeletons, ghosts, Nightmare before Christmas drawings, band members. In the sidelines of the papers another person had chimed in with silly hearts, cartoony dick drawings and small comments.

“Doodling uhm helped with the like anxiety during class and lunch and stuff. I used to like convince Remy to not skip class by enticing them with the privilege of getting to annoy me during class. I know. How wonderful” He said dryly before letting up into a soft smile “They liked holding my hand under the table. They always got excited to compliment me on how smart they thought I was”

His eyes stagnated on a spot on the floor for a while as he got lost in thought. The sound of you chopping up the potatoes shook him back to the present.

“I am so glad you and all of your friends can only speak in those weird like...Like you can’t react to me in real time? Because OH boy if you could actually verbally react to my fuck ass 16 year olds shot at ‘creativity’ I would actually die. A bolt of lightning would instantly strike me down” He got all smug “But you can’t!! HAh! Fucker! You’re stuck in silence!”

Your eyes went a bit green which made him throw one of the sketchbooks at you knowing fully well it would just go through you.

“Don’t you Green eye me!!! I know what that means!!! How dare you be nice to me! FUCK YOU! Get out of here with your fucking british manners or whatever!! You got gross ghost slime!!”

His ears had went pink from embarrassment. He crossed his arms and tried to look as annoyed as possible without outright pouting. You just continued cooking knowing he couldn’t go that long without rambling. He was a Very lonely dude.

“I don’t really remember why I stopped drawing and stuff” He began to ramble “I guess I realized I was awful at creativity....Or well...I mean....I can guess I stopped around the time me and Remy moved here. Y’know getting a job, having to take care of them. They were still trying to work at that time and it left them like catatonic in pain most nights...And uhm their flashbacks and nightmares were even worse than they are now...It was a lot of having to get used to seeing them in pain 24/7....Lots of having to learn how to relieve the pain...lots of hospital checks....lots of seeing them struggle to get used to not...to not being abused......I guess..my interests just kinda.....got away from me”

Virgil stilled in his movements. It took a while before you even noticed the tears pressing on at the edges of his eyes. His nose went red from trying to hold them back. He wiped them away as fast he could.

“This is so stupid” He mumbled “...You’ve heard me talking.....even when it’s ‘bout my old interests everything always comes back to Remy.....i thought maybe i could find something in these books...like to show what kind of person i was before them...but...but i’m just....i’m just hollow...i’m gone...I’m- I am Nothing!”

His chest suddenly felt stiff and his eyes roamed around the room. You floated closed and said the last part of your message. About how surely all of the watchers would do everything to prevent him from ever hurting Remy ever again, and that you at least wanted to try and prevent him hurting himself. It helped to have a voice to listen to. It was a good enough distraction.

Virgil glared at you before slowly, and with great effort, forcing himself to say “.....thanks...I guess...to all of the uh watchers...I guess.....”

The food was done. You handed him a plate. He didn’t bother to get up from the ground to eat. He just sat there and sadly poked at the toad in the holes with a fork.

“I wish it could go quickly.....I wish reinventing myself to someone without Remy could go quick...”

When he looked up he met your glowing orange eyes.

“Right...baby steps”

He forced half a smile and held up his fork towards you as if he was holding up a glass to say cheers.

“Oh shit this isn’t as bad as I thought. I was like 100% ready to just survive on any scrap of garbage not gonna lie. But this is like good”

You floated around him the entire time he ate. Every time you tried to peer into one of the sketchbook he threw a pea at you.

“If you’re gonna stay floating around here I think it’s gonna be a bit boring. I mean...I think all I’m gonna do is work...be sad.....miss them.....smoke...be sad...and uh let me see....be sad. I guess I don’t mind having you here- EVEn though I very much hate you!!! And I find you annoying!!!! Very!!- I don’t mind. But uhm..Maybe if you haven’t checked up on my ba- Remy maybe you should uhm check in on them? You’ve heard how I’ve been going on I assume....Even if I hope they’re doing well...I dunno if they-”

A sudden knock came from the door.

“REmy?!” Was all Virgil got out.

He threw aside the empty plate and instantly got up. ran his hands through his hair to try and fix it and even checked his breathe before cursing himself for not prioritizing taking a shower.

It hadn’t even gone enough time for a second knock and Virgil was already standing by the door. He tried to look cool as possible as he opened it. A huge shining grin played on his lips.

“Hey Vivzie” Oswald said as he looked down at the other man.

Virgil’s expression instantly soured like an entire bathtub filled with milk in the middle of the summer. He want back to slouching and had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes.

“Hello Ozzie” He replied through gritted teeth.

“I thought you were ‘spossed to be at work around this time” Oswald half asked while welcoming himself in.

“This might surprise you but sometimes work times change. I know. Shocking”

He waved Virgil’s sarcasm off while subtly glancing around the apartment “Where’s the other one? The dumb to your dumber if you will. The Bill to your Ted-”

“Oh shut up”

Virgil went over to the kitchen while Oswald followed along with a calm smile. The emo took out two beers from the fridge and held one out for the other man who shook his head. Instead Viv offered him a cigarette and they both took long blows before the conversation resumed.

“Let me guess...Remy all suddenly grew new legs and left to party to catch up for the latest months of boring couch potating” Oswald said dryly.

“....they left me”

“What was that now?” Oswald replied, having fully heard him.

“They left me. They’re not- They’re staying with someone else- It’s- We’re over”

Oswald reached out his hand and half assedly patted Virgil on the shoulder “First breakup?”

He nodded.

“That’s rough buddy. You can bring out the beers again if you want. I even think I can give you a bit of an extra friendly break up sale if you want to buy anything to cheer up”

“no..uhm...thanks...no thank you...Those kinds of things I uh I only do that stuff with Remy”

Oswald shrugged and leaned against the kitchen counter. He put out the cigarette against one of the dirty dishes laying in the sink.

“Not to pretend to be a relationship expert here but vivzie you must have really messed up if he left. I don’t mean to sound mean but he didn’t seem like the type who could survive on his own for more than a week. His bones looks like baby twigs. He reminds me of a very sad very small baby bird that has just fallen out of a tree...You said he is staying with someone else?”

“They only use they/them. They don’t interchange pronouns” Virgil instantly corrected before shrugging “Just some like” He gritted his teeth “Friends they’re staying with. They’re not like- You don’t know them. I uh...I would have been really worried for their health if I didn’t know they had people taking care of them” He glanced over to you “Lots of...solid...people”

Oswald squinted at him while loosening up his smile “Oh come on now Vivzie” he crossed his arms and leant closer towards him “He’s not here anymore. You don’t have to act so polite about it”

“About what?” He asked, anger already beginning to boil under his skin.

“You know what I’m talking about. With Remy’s whole...thing. Or nevermind he told me while he was high his real name is-”

Virgil’s hands moved into fists so quickly his cigarette got crushed in between his fingers “I think it’s time you get out of my goddamn apartment!”

“Aw sorry did I hurt your feelings. They must have already been really crushed with the whole your long term boyfriend leaving you. Must feel pretty bad being so awful even a weak ass cunt like him will leave y-”

Before he even had time to finish the sentence Virgil had swung his fist right into the side of Oswald’s face. He took a step back and moved his hand up to feel the spot where he had been hit.

“What in the hell is wrong with you!?”

“GET OUT! I KNOW YOU NEVER CAME AROUND FOR MY SAKE ANYWAY! THEY’RE NOT HERE! THERE’S NOTHING FOR YOU TO FUCKING FLIRT WITH! JUST LEAVE! YOU’RE STUPID IF YOU THINK I WON’T DEFEND THEM ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’VE LEFT ME!”

Oswald looked down at his hand for a moment as he moved his lower jaw around to feel if anything had been damaged. He glanced up and met Virgil’s furious eyes.

In one swift motion Oswald had pulled his arms around Virgil and held him in a headlock. He pulled onto a chunk of his dyed hair and twisted it around in his hand before slamming the side of Virgil’s face onto the stove. He held Viv’s head down with one hand and held his other hand around both of his wrists.

Even though Virgil tried to twist and squirm around he couldn’t move away. Oswald leaned down so close that Virgil could feel his breathe against his ear as Os spoke.

“Why would I ever come around for a piece of shit like you. I don’t even have to think for a single second to know why he left you, you violent bastard”

“YOU ARE LITERALLY HOLDING ME DOWN YOU HYPOCRITICAL MASS OF BLOODY MEAT!!”

“Maybe i was coming over to check that you hadn’t murdered him yet. Choked him a bit too long. Left him to rot. Let him overdose. Maybe I was coming over to try and convince him to leave. Sometimes a victim just has to see what true love and passion and nicety is-”

“LOVE ISN’T MISGENDERING THEM!!”

“Vivzie when did I say I loved them. I’m simply a gentleman, and you’re a pity to the eye. I can fake love if it means I can help a poor soul like Remy. I am sure he is still suffering ‘cause of your assholery. I am just oh so ready to help him you see”

Oswald literally rolled his eyes while saying that last part.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Apartment” Virgil spat out.

“Gladly”

Oswald pulled Virgil up by his hair and threw him head first against the closest wall. Virgil managed to stop himself with his hands but his face still slammed into the wall leaving him lightheaded as he fell down onto the ground. The entire room was spinning as he watched Oswald walking out.

Blood ran down from his nose. He saw your eyes shifting color to show worry and he quickly waved it off.

“I’m okay. Just a nose bleed. It’s nothing compared to what I put Remy through. I’ll be okay”

As Oswald left the apartment a sort of liquid fell down from the door frame and landed on his shoulder. He didn’t notice it until he was going down the stairs. He grimaced as he wiped it off. He muttered something out about how awfully dirty these kinds of apartment complexes were.

The liquid landed on the floor. It was hard to see what exactly it was. It could be the sort of liquid that exudes from the voids demons inhabit. It could the remnants of a ghost touch. It could be the goo from a snail.

Whatever it was it watched him as he left the apartment complex.

[Oswald is now open for asks. Physical violence is allowed]

#i think this makes you the second watcher that is british #i assume #i had to look up what the hell that dish was and it looked british so dfhjkh #glow eyes #ask #virgil sanders

2 notes · View notes

timpac-capstone · 5 months

Text

Week 11

youtube

Timestamp: 6:18 to 7:05: A friend of mine recommended this video of Billie Eilish watching and cringing at her old Vanity Fair interviews. For the most part, she isn't too hard on herself because she takes into consideration her age and feels more forgiving for what she says because of that factor, it could also be because this is her sixth time doing this in a row. However, in the timestamp that I gave, she reacts the same way that I react when I watch my old YouTube videos which is comforting to see that I'm not the only one that wants to choke myself because of the dumb things I said and did in the past.

youtube

This was another recommended video, I can't remember if it was from a classmate or my teacher but this was a lot more useful to watch. For starters, I finally understand why there are no camera positions indicated in screenplays thanks to 13:47 to 14:04 and that is because the screenwriter's job is to make the story and the director's job is to present that story. This is also helpful because Emily is writing a SciFi story which has its own issues of having ideas too ambitious for the audience to understand. It was also insightful to see how the writing process progressed as Emily got more studio notes, an example being how loose she was in writing the first draft, and then in the second draft she made many quick decisions to get rid of scenes or dialogue she didn't like and flesh out the stuff she did like, and in the third draft was further fleshing out extra details and adding more background info about the characters and the world.

youtube

I FINALLY DID IT, I FINALLY ANIMATED A CHARACTER IN KRITA. After months and months of telling myself that I couldn't do it, I finally got around to making this walk cycle of the brain cell carrying a heavy bag. I think what definitely helped me was using the drawing tablets that the Fablab provides rather than the cheap one that I have, it actually does make a huge difference and it's not cause the Fablab one has more buttons. For one I have more surface area to work with that is closer to the sketchbook size that I'm used to and the pen feels like it has some resistance when I'm drawing and I can feel how hard I am pressing into the tablet. Once I got used to it I just started drawing the first pose of the character and then when I finished that I said "Fuck it let's just try animating this bitch" and looked up a tutorial and loosely followed along. I won't lie to you this was a very long learning process and I did get frustrated at times to the point where I had to leave my laptop, this animation that you're seeing right now took me a whole day. Something that was very frustrating was definitely the size of my laptop since there are a lot of panels that I needed open but Krita doesn't like it when you try to shrink those panels past a certain point so I had to constantly close and open panels. Another frustrating thing was the legs didn't seem to be coming out right no matter how many times I redrew them so I recorded a video of myself trying to act out carrying a heavy bag of laundry as a reference and I was finally able to fix it. I also had to figure out how to space out these 6 frames to make the bag look like it's heavy to pull. Before I had the frames evenly spaced out and the physics just didn't seem right and was about to draw some more frames but thankfully I figured out the timing before I did all that work. I'm really proud of myself for this even though this is just a rough test animation but I'm not as reluctant on digital drawing anymore.

REFLECTION:

Honestly, I have nothing to reflect upon, I finally did an animation and that is a victory in itself. Next week for my Capstone presentation I'm going to try and put together a scene from my storyboards. It won't play out exactly how I want it to because I'm still just doing early test animations to see what works and what doesn't work as well as just figuring out Krita. Not sure if I'm gonna put dialogue in or just let the animation speak for itself but if I have time I'll try to do some voice acting.

#krita #made with krita #animation #walk cycle #billie eilish #vanity fair #screenwriting #Emily Carmichael #Youtube

1 note · View note

rewordthis · 11 months

Text

🌼Spring-Summer☀️ Update🌻 Hello! Hello! How is my SouHaru nation doing this fine day? I hope you’re all doing great!😊 I mean, do you even remember this blog at all… 😅Ah~ I’m terribly sorry for the lack of word on the ongoing fics but RL is a mess. Haha🥲 Alright, I just need to state this, first, so that I can remember what an idiot I am… I managed to spent three whole days, from Saturday to Monday, scrolling through art in tumblr with only a couple hours of sleep in between and at the third day I was like; ‘Ok, I feel so freaking motivated to draw right now!’ and picked up my sketchbook, right? You, guys… 😓 the minute I opened a blank page, I stared at it and went: ‘Right, now what? Uh… Oh! Let’s try X character’s face!’ and not that character did I not manage to draw… but not even an egg could I map out!!! 😱 And what did I do, you ask? I picked back up my phone to scroll down some more art on tumblr for yet one more day! Of course! Ha! Ah, but then it hit me— I was so sleepy that after that I had a ten-hour nap that broke the cycle. Pff!~😅 But not to drag this any further, I was in a really bad headspace since the end of March and this was like the lowest of my lows… So… Yeah… Anyway, now onto the actual update…

On Thursday, I had some progress with a Free! WIP I was stuck for a long — looong (not gonna say exactly how long, it’s embarrassing) — time and(!) a Jujutsu Kaisen WIP the day before. I’m so glad!? ☺️ I really hope I can keep this momentum going and finish these two stories within the next couple months, because I’m tired going back over dozens of WIPs again and again. 😮‍💨 Plus, it doesn’t help that I keep coming up with new project ideas. 😬

By the way, June is almost here and on July Jujutsu Kaisen second season is coming, too, so I’m excited for it, as well! Even if I have been spoiler-ed for it… Still, I tried keeping away from spoilers as much as possible. Let’s see how that will go.😗 If I can’t get surprised by anything, I’ll get sour, though. (Just saying…)

Oh! I almost forgot! I, also, watched Free!💦 The Final Stroke part 2!✨ Sousuke is such a beautiful character— I was giggling at his every scene! 🤭 And we, SouHaru’s, finally got it on canon that Sousuke carried Haruka in his arms — I’ll be screaming this every time! — (because it was impossible to mount him for a piggyback ride with the way Haruka was sleeping!😉) to the infirmary. 🤩😍🤗🫠 I’m so moved and pleased by this~ 😌🥹🥰 Sure, I would have loved to see it animated, but well… it is KyoAni we’re talking about here, so it was a surprise they even let us have it as much as mentioned, in the first place…😗 (What do we have all this fanart of Sousuke carrying Haruka around, after all, if not for filling the gaps in canon! Right?!😋) I don’t know about you, guys, but I’m glad for the crumbs we managed to get this time around!😤 It is a vindication in and of itself that Sousuke is the one who can carry Haruka in his arms, because he has such a huge build and is so strong compared to everyone else — even Makoto! 🤗🫠🤗 Hm! KyoAni, finally made my boy right and that’s all I want to keep from this series. 😎😘 Cheers!🥂✨ p.s.: As always, inbox 📥 is open for everyone and anyone who wants to fangirl over SouHaru or just Sousuke or just Haruka… or any character, really. (Please, just not Rin…)

Wish you people well and a great week start~ 😘

#souharu #free!#free! final stroke #free! series #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fic #fanfic #my writing #update #fandom talk

1 note · View note

therabbitsmuse · 2 years

Text

I really need to buckle down and get a part-time contract role for next year. Summer's basically over and I got almost nowhere with my portfolio. This past week would've been the perfect opportunity to knock that shit out because everyone was on vacation but it was like I got hit with a dose of inattention and apathy. I need to stop dragging this shit out because it's only going to get worse the longer I put it off.

I finally started drawing in my sketchbook again! They're really just basic doodles with no meaning or rhyme to them but I loved it. There wasn't this usual pressure I put on myself to have to 'improve' or create something 'worthwhile'. I think maybe the next step is to make it a daily 15-20 minute doodling session every day and see what comes out of it. I've had this sketchbook for over two years and I really should finish it up this year!

I've been really inspired by VSCO lately! It's made me fall in love with everything around me -- seeking out those little moments during my walks to mundane tasks, like buying groceries or dropping off my mail. I never feel bad about myself, even if I scroll VSCO for a long time. Contrary to Instagram...

Instagram feels like the LinkedIn of social media to me lol. People add each other to up their follower count, even if they've never each other or only met once. Everyone strives for posting their best selves, the highlight reels. Even stories or anything that's behind the scenes is still curated to some extent. I see a sea of strangers online all the time but don't feel any closer to them, even if we've been following each other for years. But I've found that in larger cities, people really take your social worth into account, even if it's unspoken. It makes me wonder, maybe it wouldn't hurt if I did a bit of upkeep now and then. But even that feels performative because I wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't for moving.

Indie pop has been the shit, it's gotten me out of this music rut I've been in for so long. Weirdly enough, I'm going to a techno show tonight, haha. I'm not too excited about it but I had promised to go with a friend two months ago and now that the moment is here, I wish for nothing more than for it to get canceled LOL.

I want to start a blog. (Talk about the resurgence of the early 00's). But I have no idea what it'd be about, what I would write about. When it comes to pictures, I know what I want to post (just not on IG LOL). But I never what to write. Choosing a niche makes me feel a little cornered as well. I thought maybe doing short vlogs, like 'A day in the life of...' would give me more freedom. But I still find myself drawn to the good, ol' fashioned medium of words and photos. I guess this Tumblr is a bit like that for me but I want something I could actually put a link out in public. Nobody needs to connect these messy thoughts to me LOL

I never thought I'd get closure after almost 1.5 years but it looks like it's happening.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm this far away from my family. With friends, it doesn't feel THAT big of a deal since we'll text, call, and facetime. My family isn't big on those and honestly, they don't say much in person either. But being there in the same room, even if only two words are exchanged, are worth a lot more than our group chats.

I bought my second luxury perfume this summer. Instead of saving it for special occasions, I've been wearing it every day and it makes me so happy. One, I know personally I get tired of scents very easily so I should probably get as much out of it now as I can haha. Two, it's still gonna take me a long ass time to get through the bottle. I don't think I'll find another summery scent that I love as much as this one anytime soon (I hope! I def don't need to be buying another perfume anytime soon lmao)

I noticed I have more energy to do things when I feel like there's the presence of someone else in the room. Lmao that makes it sound like I'm talking about a ghost. But nah, I just meant cozy vlogs where someone is talking while I do the chores. Facetiming Jeff while he and I are doing our own separate chores and sometimes will converge to talk about something random before going off again. Doing work alone in a cafe. I need to incorporate more moments like that into my life. I love wfh, the freedom it's granted me, and not having to do the bullshit sitting in office even if I have nothing to do all day long. But when it's just me all day long, it gets a little too much. I love myself more than I have in prior years but still lol, being alone with just me all the time is tiring.

#10 thoughts #musings #thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #journal #brain dump #happy weekend!#words

0 notes

willczek-art · 5 years

Text

This turned into a more ambitious piece than I thought xD

Small Delsin doodle, experimenting with mixing brushmarkers and surprising amount of effort put into digital finishing it up~ :D

Finished|Lights&Shadows|Just everything that was added|Real life traditional piece

#infamous second son #delsin rowe #my art #infamous delsin #drawing #tradigital #i put it off for WEEKS and i’m honestly surprised with how it ended up looking #like... i kinda just zoned out and kept moving my finger on the screen and BOOM there it is #not gonna lie im pretty proud of it #i should have had used references for lighting and i know this will annoy me later but for now? seeing that i never do anyhing like this?#im happy with it~ Im happy to have another drawing of Delsin in my art tag~ im happy to have actually finished something~#fanart #doodle #brushmarkers #karin brushmarkers pro #brushmarkers pro #autodesk sketchbook #smoke

23 notes · View notes

shotorozu · 2 years

Text

without actual confirmation

— how their friends know they’re no longer single, without much verbal confirmation

character(s) : sano “mikey” manjiro, sano shinichiro, mitsuya takashi, tachibana naoto (tokyo revengers)

bnha version.

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral, you guys are in your late teens (uhh, pretend toman didn’t disband in their last year of middle school)

possible ooc because this is my second tokrev post 🧎‍♀️

note(s) : my second tokrev post 🤩 i did 4 characters i has inspo for i was gonna do fuyu but nothing came up?!?!?? damn it all might make a second part for this?? idk. but what i AM certain of, is that there’s gonna be a bnha version 😼

»»————-　♡　————-««

toman! mikey, who doesn’t exhibit any drastic changes when he’s no longer a single, and significant other-less guy.

toman! mikey— who’s really still him, and considering that mikey overall, was in the top 3 worst boyfriend/husband contest, his friends wouldn’t have guessed.

toman! mikey’s friends just aren’t sure how his behavior would change, or if it would even change at all. 💀

that was until mikey was spot leaving an adjourned toman meeting alone— and, with a helmet in his clutches. but wait, mikey normally doesn’t wear his helmet.

toman! mikey— who has his friends speculating on who’s helmet that belonged to. their second guess was that this helmet belonged to takemichi— but wait (again), this helmet was a different color, and takemichi doesn’t recognize it.

and it all makes sense, when they see their leader patting a spot on his bike, when they see you hop on his bike with his assistance— lifting you onto his bike. and, when they— for a split second —see mikey press his lips against yours, checking the security of your helmet’s buckle over and over again.

it then, dawns onto them all, that mikey’s someone’s boyfriend now— your boyfriend, to be specific. (they have lots of questions)

because toman! mikey, cannot afford for you to fall off, and get hurt on his watch— knowing how fast he likes to go on his bike.

shinichiro— who normally has his hair slicked up to the heavens, and coated in ten tons of gel, shows up one day with his hair down.

shinichiro— who gets a lot of concerned questions from his fellow gang members, asking if something bad happened today, as he shows up to a meeting with his hair down, AND with a red face.

shinichiro— with a sheepish chuckle, just says that he simply “ran out of gel, and woke up on the wrong side of the bed” but, no one exactly buys this answer, especially takeomi

shinichiro— who receives even more questions, this time from his little brothers plus friends, after they notice the lack of that silly hairstyle for two whole weeks.

shinichiro— who shouts “no!” when he’s offered to go on a shopping trip for more hair gel. the reason behind this reaction is unknown to all of them for now.

after a while— they decided to put aside all of these burning questions, and just accept that shinichiro’s a “changed man” that had a “change of style”

but shinichiro— who’s behavior all makes sense now, when his little brother and sister catches him happily talking to himself, about how you like it when his hair’s down, and in it’s rawest form more.

and that’s when it all clicks inside of his little siblings’ heads— remembering that shinichiro said some time ago, that he’d change his hair “if my significant other told me to.” and if that significant other is in fact, you.

—

mitsuya— who, never struggled in making clothes and finalizing design drafts— struggles for the first time ever.

mitsuya— who has his friends staring at the scene in awe, as they see his usually on-set, and decisive friend, being the exact opposite.

mitsuya— who erases pencil markings upon pencil markings in his sketch book, groaning about how “it doesn’t look quite right.”

mitsuya— who starts staying overtime instead of going home, mind set on finishing whatever needed to be finished in his sketchbook.

mitsuya— who struggles at using his laptop, asks hakkai to help him figure something out, which ends up in hakkai accidentally see his gallery filled with your pictures, along with his search history of aesthetics you so happen to like (but the purpose of these? hakkai doesn’t know.)

mitsuya— that has his sisters peeking over his shoulder, curious as to why he’s been smiling at his sketchbook like a lovesick fool.

but lovesick fool indeed is he— when mitsuya’s friends all realize that he’s been making a customized outfit just for you, which explains why he’s been stricter on himself by tenfolds

mitsuya’s friends then realize that their friend is indeed no longer the single man they once knew, when they realize that you haven’t asked him to make you an outfit, which means he did this on his own accord. and, when they see him spinning you around happily— while you wore the outfit he made just for you.

—

naoto— who went from paying little to no mind about romance, to being subtly interested in it, all seemingly overnight.

naoto— who came to realize how much he didn’t KNOW about romance when he became certain of his own feelings for his long time friend (you). sure, there was his sister, and takemichi. but, he was always the official third wheel, and never the second party in a relationship.

naoto— who’s smart enough decide that he needs help, and is also smart enough to rule out the concept of seeking help from the internet. he’s seen corny, and he knows what corny sounds like.

naoto— who reluctantly, starts asking lots and lots of ‘what if’ questions to his older sister. “how do you know if you want to date someone long term or short term?” “how did you ask hanagaki out?” “what was it like when you asked him out?” all of these questions were awfully vague, but hina still answered all of them.

naoto— who decides to take a step even further, by asking his sister’s boyfriend for help. he honestly didn’t want to, but considering how his older sister appears to be on cloud nine with takemichi, it’s his only option.

naoto— who is asked by takemichi, if he has a crush, and if he’s planning on asking someone out. naoto, who says that he “doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” (but doesn’t flat out deny the crush part) and, says nothing to the advice he had to offer, because it made some sense.

naoto— who finally starts to pull the moves on you, but in his own revised way. who isn’t great with grand romantic gestures that are ripped out of a romcom, but is amazing with words, and making his intentions clear.

naoto— who comes home one day, and is jokingly asked by hina and takemichi, if he “asked you out already” the shock that rushes over takemichi, and hina’s faces— when naoto only replies with a smile.

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own tokyo revengers and it’s characters. tokyo revengers/tokrev does not belong to me, it belongs to wakui ken. i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby.

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission :))

876 notes · View notes

jadelynlace · 3 years

Note

Hey just went on a 4.5 hr binge reading your amazing work!! I was just wondering if you could do somthing with ivar reacting to the reader saying she is pregnant and his reaction to when she's in labour? In ink drinker?? You're amazing and I love your work!

Hello! That’s so sweet of you, thank you. Welcome to the crazy world!

And I know I said my requests are closed but Ivar & kids? The kill shot. It’s long & funny & emotional and I hope you all enjoy. I cried.

☞ catch up here

You were late. You were late and in your haste of life, you only noticed two weeks past where you should have.

“I’m late” You texted Ivar.

“For work?” Is what he replies.

You nearly threw your phone across the threshold, the cry of delirious laughter on your lips at Ivar’s far too perfectly timed response. It had been madness with him back at work; catching up on two years' worth of delays, overbooking himself, and coming home in the middle of the night. Sleep was never easy for him, he had turned into a man who needed an orgasm to so simply think about closing his eyes. And the nights of fumblings between the sheets, soft moans and heavy breathing, Ivar telling you how he loves you, only helped him.

And you knew his pullout game sucked.

The magenta double lines that grace you back from the porcelain sink hitch your breath. After a step closer, two glances back, they remain there, almost smiling up at you. You can’t dwell on those marks, already telling yourself the tale that it was incorrect, but the other two tests, of the other two manufacturers, yielded the same promise. An ocean of chill runs down your spine, tugging against your tailbone and snapping into you like a pluck of a guitar string, propelling the sensation through to your toes. Finding your hand across your abdomen was a motion you didn’t even realize you had started, but the path was so plain. If your heart could leap from your chest and hug you back, it would.

When you hear the creak of the garage door it’s not nearly as late as you had thought Ivar would be home. The medley of vegetables in one pot, the boiling pasta in the other, and before you can even speak, Ivar wraps himself against your back.

“Hey, handsome,” You hum, melting against him and he only squeezes tightly.

“Hey, baby,” His lips rasp into your hair. “Missed you today,” Ivar adds as his nose trails the curve of your skull. “Are you making pasta primavera?”

“Yes,” You sigh and you’re certain you could fall asleep like this. “I got you something,” You then say, still swaying slightly with Ivar.

“Yeah?” He rasps, finally pulling away from you for you to turn. His hair is already down, glasses where they belong for once, and he smiles when you catch his gaze. You’re quick to scurry away, yelling something about turning off the stove, and then you’re back, a small package in your hands.

“It’s the most expensive gift I’ve gotten you,” You tease as the box shrinks when it’s in Ivar’s grasp.

“I told you that I don’t want another mustang, baby,” Ivar replies, pulling the ribbon off. “I like my Jeep.”

“It’s not….it’s not a mustang,” You snort.

“Oh, thank god,” Ivar says, shivering slightly as the thought leaves him.

“You’ll like it, I promise,” You nudge and he finally lifts up the lid. You thought you could hear his breathing hitch, fuzziness in his eyes already starting as the positive pregnancy tests stare back at him.

“No you’re not,” Ivar whimpers, “Are you fucking with me?” And his voice is meek, drowned out with emotion and you only tear up too. “No, you’re not,”

“We’re gonna have a baby, Ivar,” Are the first words out of your mouth. “You’re gonna be a dad,” You say, watching how his eyes move to your face, towards the test, shocked, mouth agape and he only whimpers. When he sets the box on the counter you’re there to wrap to fill his grasp. Falling into his arms and you can hear the slight sniffle from above you. It pulls one from you too, finally grasping the mental concept that Ivar really has dreamt about this moment his whole life. You wiggle slightly, pulling back and Ivar’s hands are still on your hips. With red eyes, he moves one paw to wipe the tear that’s threatening to escape.

“I love you,” Ivar whispers and it makes you laugh when you repeat it back, hands on his cheeks as you bring your mouth to his. The kiss isn’t hurried, Ivar’s lips move as though he’s hardly focusing on the task and you can hear another sniffle as you pull back. Forehead resting along his and his eyes are closed.

“I found out this morning,” You whisper to him.

“I’m waiting to wake up from the dream,” Ivar replies, and his eyes are still shut as he speaks.

“Your pullout game sucks, Ivar,” You say and that makes him laugh, thick from his stomach, and his eyes finally open as he pulls you to rest against him.

“This isn’t news to me, Y/N,” Ivar says. “I can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby,” He adds and when he does a new wave of tears starts in his eyes.

“Your mother is going to castrate you,” You say into the cotton of his shirt and he laughs again. “You and me Ivar,”

“Against the world,” He replies. “And as parents.”

His phone rings from next to him, your name on Ivar’s screen, and halfway through his sentence, he stops to smile. Excusing himself for a moment, he answers:

“Hey baby, I’m just finishing up with a client, I’ll call you right back,” And the line goes dead. You blink to yourself several times when you hear silence in your ear and as you look to the towel at your feet, you almost feel as though you’re going to cry.

After ten minutes you stop caring if he’s shooting the breeze with the person, and you’re dialing for him again as you lean against the kitchen counter.

“Hey, baby,” Ivar answers and it pulls the anger, anxiety from you and you suck in a deep breath. “Baby?”

“My water broke,” You simply say.

“When?” Ivar asks quickly and he’s standing, leaning his shoulder to hold his phone as he throws the closest thing he can reach in Sigurd’s direction. White eraser bouncing in front of him as he moves his gaze from his magazine to Ivar. “I’ll be right there,” He says. “Her water broke,” He calls to Sigurd and the man only offers a thumbs up.

“Ivar—fuck—Ivar listen to me, do not drive like a mad man,” You grit into your phone. “I need you here for this, alright?” Your words fall as he climbs into the Jeep.

“I won’t,” Ivar replies softly. “I promise. I’ll see you in a minute, alright?”

“Alright,” You say back.

“How far apart are they?” Ivar asks and you only smile.

“Still far enough,”

“We’re going to get to meet her,” Ivar whispers and it makes your smile bigger.

His next call is to Floki, the phone ringing through Bluetooth and there’s a hum when he answers.

“Yeeeeeeees, Ivar?” Floki sings.

“Y/N’s water broke, I’m on my way home,” Ivar replies, and the laugh he’s known his whole life rings through the man’s mouth.

“Take a deep breath for me,” Floki says.

“I’ve taken several since I got into my car,” Ivar replies. “It’s the only thing keeping me from bursting into flames.” And they both laugh.

“I’ll head to the shop now, keep me in the loop. Oh—and Ivar, you have two hands. If she has to break one as she delivers your baby girl, so be it.” And the line goes dead. Ivar groans, his heart hammering behind his seatbelt and he doesn’t even bother to turn the car off when he parks in the driveway.

You’re in the same spot, hand crossing the bump and your eyes are stuck on the clock when you hear the door open. Another press of pain mangles its way through you, as if your guts are trying to come through your navel. Ivar calls your name and you turn, a soft smile on your face.

“Just put everything in the car,” You say and Ivar nods, completely ignoring your direction and coming towards you.

“I know you’re a medic—I know how many babies you’ve delivered with Hvitserk there, but this is different,” Ivar hums as he tips your chin, sealing the words to your mouth as he kisses you. “This is our baby,”

“I’m scared,” You whisper and Ivar moves his arms around to your back.

“I am too,” He admits. “Let’s get to the hospital,”

Despite how the nurse offers the wheelchair, you shake your head; walking has been the only aid to your contractions and she nods. Ivar’s hand is in yours as you’re laying along with the linens, thumb brushing your knuckles and he’s on his phone.

“Did you call your mom?” You ask.

“No,” He answers, eyes not moving to yours. “Only Floki so he can get to the shop. You need to focus on you right now,” He says, finally lifting his head to look at you. Brows towards the ceiling and the small smirk only makes you pout.

“You should try to get some sleep—”

“Baby,” Ivar says and you nod. Ivar moves only minutes later, sketchbook taking up his lap as his hand stays with yours. Your phone buzzes with a Snapchat from Hvitserk, quick zooming in of Engine 1 as one of the firefighters walk by it. You take the liberty to pan the room, from your gown-covered self, Ivar to your left and back to the windows on the other side. Less than ten seconds pass before his contact picture graces your screen.

“That’s how you tell me?” Hvitserk all but shrieks and even Ivar can hear it through the phone. “How long have you been there?”

“A few hours,” You answer back.

“Guys! Our Lieutenant’s in labor!” Hvitserk calls to the guys. “Put me on speaker—Ivar?”

“What, brother?” Ivar groans back.

“When we work labor calls, I always tell the mother that I have two hands—”

“And if she needs to break one so be it,” Ivar finishes for him, and his brother whines. “Floki said the same thing.”

“Fucking Floki,” Hvitserk mumbles. “We’ll be thinking about you two, and send us pictures.”

“You don’t want a video?” You tease.

“Nope—I know you well, but I don’t need to know you that well!” Hvitserk laughs.

“Oh, come on, it can be practice for you and Thora,” and you can see the man blush without even being in front of him. “I’ll keep you in the loop.”

“You’ve got this,” Hvitserk says and the line goes dead.

By the fourth time you find your legs in the stirrups, you’re about ready to take one out to grant the nurse’s face. The needle for the epidural was big, it was big enough that Ivar didn’t even look, that you as a regular needle handler, even felt shy from. When you feel the contraction roll through only a few seconds after the last one, you nudge Ivar. His head on your shoulder flies up and your look answers his question before he even has to ask it.

“Dad, are you cutting the cord?” The nurse asks and Ivar looks back at you as if he needs your permission before he can think of an answer.

“Yes,” Ivar says back and he’s by your side, hand tracing your bent knee, sliding your thigh and it helps to calm you. Before your first push, you’re already crying, Ivar’s there to pull the hair from your face as it sticks to where you’ve started to sweat. As you curse him, his last name, his size and weak pull-out game and Ivar only agrees with each word as they come through your lips. Before you’ve even crowned you’ve decided that you don’t want to do this anymore.

“I hate you right now,” You hiss, and Ivar nods.

Twelve hours of sitting, standing, walking, swaying, trying almost everything in the manual to help progress her just a bit further than the last hour. Ivar adorned in scrubs, trying to contain his excitement, your partner in crime trying to experience it with you as well as he could, attempting to leech some of the pain in the meantime.

One week shy of her due date, Ivar’s there to see his daughter born. Through tears and strings of curse words, sweat-slick clothes, she is finally here. Watering eyes flicking to yours as her cry fills the room. Your whine is there next and she’s against your chest the minute she’s able. IV poked hand coming to cup her diapered rear, head against the pillow and you’re crying. You’re crying as Ivar’s lips brush your hairline, as he’s crying, as the head nurse films the moment per your request. Ivar studies the newborn in utter disbelief, eyes switching from its cotton-covered head to your face, overstuffed with pure adoration.

“I’m so proud of you,” Ivar whispers in your ear, his hand covering yours over the child you two created together.

“Look at her, Ivar,” You whisper and he is, he hasn’t stopped yet, the tuft of dark hair on her head that matches his own as her small hands balled into fists. His daughter laying against your chest and he has to wipe his eyes. There’s an upset from her for a brief moment, wiggle and a cry, and instinctively Ivar’s lips shush her, his voice lulling through her ears and she quiets. “That’s your dad,” You say to her.

Ivar’s moment for the skin on skin finally came and he’s next to you. Seated, shirt off, and the nurse hands him the bundle. Pink cotton on an inked chest as Ivar’s hand pats her bottom, nearly swarming the infant as a whole. You can’t hear him, but you see his lips moving, eyes peeking down at the bundle that’s looking up at him. A full conversation on his side and you’re tearing up again, snapping a picture for Hvitserk, your parents, and his, for Floki and Ivar laughs as he watches her yawn.

“Oh, am I boring you, miss?” Ivar coos and you smile. “I know you’ve had such a big day,” He says. “You have no idea how loved you already are.”

Ink Drinker Tags:

@smileysam13579 @dreamtherapy @heisentwerk @angelofthenightposts @youaremyfamiliar @unbetaedimagines @kathryn-jane @readsalot73 @queen-sarang @anastasiaskarsgard @andmyannabellee @peachyboneless @heavenly1927 @istorkyou @quantumlocked310 @xbellaxcarolinax @mighty-ragnarssons @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @queen-of-upshur @nanahachikyuu @fandomlifeandeverythingelse @ivarhoegh @a5hl3y5ibley @hashimily @youbloodymadgenius @love-all-things-writing @theanxietyqueen17 @trip2themoon @tgrrose @synnersaint @kataphine @prepare4trouble @abbiii72 @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @pixluru @93xdiagonxalley @ivarisms

*please message me to let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list. specifications for series/etc. are also welcomed, as well as feedback.*

full masterlist can be found here.

129 notes · View notes

duvetsandpillows · 3 years

Text

Lucky One

Pete Davidson x Reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, mention of needles, slight angst, drug use

A/N: This is my first Pete fic but I think I will definitely be writing more. Please let me know what you think!

I sat in bed, joint in one hand, lighter in the other. I’d been staring at the wall for the past half hour or so, drowning in my thoughts, forgetting the joint I’d been fiddling with was there to be smoked.

I was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Have I taken my antidepressant? What do they do with the bagel holes? You’re gonna be alone forever. Don’t forget your earring is behind the back left leg of the desk. New thoughts beginning before the last one could end. I was exhausted yet I hadn’t done anything to warrant feeling so drained. I’d only left my bed to piss.

“Hey you home?” I glanced over at my door, reality setting back in, before realizing how messy my bed was; sketchbook and pencils scattered everywhere, weed crumbs and ash from not paying attention to what I was doing and empty monster cans. I kicked as much as I could off the end of the bed before putting the long forgotten joint to my lips and sparking it. The door slowly opened, Pete standing in the doorway holding a bag and a coffee.

“Whatcha doing in bed B?” he asked climbing into the bed handing me the coffee. I took a toke and thanked him while passing him the joint.

“I just don’t feel like moving. I feel like shit, my brain won’t stop for just a second. I just want everything to stop.” My voice breaking as I began to fight back tears. He blew smoke into the air, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side, handing me the joint.

“Breathe B, you’re gonna be okay. I know that sounds like bullshit but I’m here to help you through it.” I took a take and wiped a stray tear from my eye. “It’s always been me and you hasn’t it, that’s not gonna stop now. Did you take your antidepressant today?”

“I can’t remember,” I squeaked, letting the tears win the battle. Pete put his other arm around my chest and squeezed tight, resting his hand on the back of my head and rubbing his thumb.

He would whisper little pick me-ups every few minutes while I cried. “At least you didn’t walk straight into a street light like I did.” I looked up to see him pointing to a small bruise on his forehead. “I saw a woman carrying a dog in a baby sling thing and then boom! Street Light.” I giggled before taking a deep breath and wiping my tears with my sleeves.

“I guess you could say she threw you off your rhythm.” He rolled his eyes and pushed my head playfully before chuckling.

We’d been friends practically our whole lives, yet it was rare for us to talk about deep shit. Not because we didn’t care but we were good at talking each others minds off all the bullshit.

“Movie, smoke, munch? I brought gushers and twizzlers.”

“Only if I get to pick.”

“Obviously, you always pick.” I scoffed and sat up, rolling my eyes.

“Bullshit, we constantly watching The Mule.”

“Not my fault you can’t appreciate a masterpiece,” he said as he grabbed my rolling tray from the end of the bed and I began flicking through Netflix for something to watch.

“Your hair looks nice by the way,” he mumbled, eyes focused on rolling the joint. I glanced over at my reflection in the mirror, I looked as if I’d just climbed out of the hedge. I smiled and thanked him, deciding to put on Knocked Up.

Pete told me what he’d been up to all week and who the guests were gonna be while we watched the film. I made him a twizzler ring and he attempted to make me a bracelet but he couldn’t work out how to get the knot to stay tight.” After a couple more joints I sat up on my knees and faced him.

“Could... I maybe colour in your tattoos?” I asked, placing my hand on his leg to stay balanced, realizing how high I was after not moving for so long.

“Yeah of course, which one first?” I smiled and pointed to the unicorn on his arm and leant off the end of the bed to grab my pens, Pete grabbing hold of my foot as I almost fell off. After I’d finished the unicorn I moved onto the direwolf underneath. Pete was flicking through the pages of my sketchbook as I added icy blue to the eyes.

“Y’know,” he started, passing me a joint, “I reckon you could be a tattoo artist. You could even practice on me.” I stopped and looked at him a bit taken back.

“I’ve never thought about it before.”

“Maybe you should.”

Once I finished the direwolf I looked up to see Pete had dozed off, I smiled and pulled a blanket over him, moving the sketchbook off his lap. I rolled a joint and glanced at the open drawing of a group of clouds I’d been working on but hadn’t yet worked out what should accompany them.

I thought about what Pete said and picked up the sketchbook and a pencil. I smoked while drawing Frank the bunny’s head from Donnie Darko. It was my favourite film and Pete had watched it with me countless times.

After an hour or so I finished the outline and most of the infill with different shades of blue. I felt Pete roll over and put his arm across my lap. I looked down to see him, eyes half open, observing my drawing.

“That’s amazing.” His voice gruff and low.

“Thank you,” I said passing him a monster from my bedside table. He sat up partially and took a sip before handing it back to me. “Good nap?” He nodded and laid back down into my side.

“You should put that on me,” He kicked his leg out from under the blanket and pointed to the side of his thigh. “Here would be perfect.”

“If you’d like.” He sat up again and gently tore the sketch out of the book.

“Come on then.” I frowned and tilted my head slightly. “There’s a guy that could do this now, you could get one too?”

I stared at him in a bit of shock, not expecting him to actually want one of my pieces on his body. I thought he was saying it just to be nice. Also as I’d never considered getting a tattoo before. Not because I didn’t like them but more because I was nervous; I wasn’t great with needles and if tattoo’s would suit me.

“You up for it?”

“What if I look awful with one?” I blurted, Pete’s smile morphed into confusion.

“Why would you look awful?” You always look great.” I could feel my cheeks getting warm and I couldn’t help but ever so slightly smile. “Plus I think you’d look hot with one,” he mumbled handing me the sketchbook, open to a small drawing of a sheep I’d done high while watching Shaun the Sheep.

“It’s small, if you want it to be hidden then it’s easy.” I looked down at the doodle and thought about it for a moment.

“Fuck it lets go.”

I sat on a chair next to Pete watching as the tattoo artist, Jon, carefully traced over the light purple outline in dark blue ink. I began adding to my sheep. A few clouds in the background, similar to the ones on Pete’s.

“What you doing?” I handed him the paper, glancing over at his leg, in awe at how it was turning out. I looked back at Pete who was smiling at the drawing. I held out the pencil to him, when he didn’t notice I poked his arm with it.

“Ow, dick,” he said pouting and rubbing his arm. “What am I meant to do with this?”

“Add something to it, you got a piece of me,” I pointed to his leg. “Your turn.”

“I can’t draw like you and-”

“And I don’t care. Draw.”

While Pete drew, not phased at all by the needle going in and out of his leg, I chatted with Jon, asking him question about how he became a tattoo artist and what it’s like. I was slowly becoming more interested the more I watched him work. Once he was done he turned to me.

“You ready?” he asked, I nodded nervously and Pete passed him the design. Pete swapped places with me after taking a look at it in the floor length mirror. I decided to get it on my arm as I decided I wanted to always be able to see it now Pete had added to it. I told them I didn’t want to see it until it was finished, wanting Pete’s addition to be a surprise. I looked over at Pete, nerves starting to kick in a little.

“Have I ever told you I’m not brilliant with needles?” He chuckled and took my hand in his.

“Yep,” I winced as the needle hit my skin. “Like the time you gave blood because you thought that nurse was cute and threw up all over him before fainting.” I chuckled before biting the inside of my cheek and gripped his hand tight. “You’re good, just keep your eyes this way,”

Pete kept chatting with me and rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand, keeping me distracted from the pain.

“Should I be nervous with what you drew? It’s just clicked how much trust I’ve given you.” He pursed his lips, holding back either as smile or a laugh. “Pete...”

“Nah nah nah, it’s not that bad, but you said to add a bit of me. Trust me you’ll love it.” I raised my eyebrows before gripping his hand again, feeling a muscle in my arm unintentionally spasm.

“You’re good, it happens sometimes, we’re almost done here.”

After ten more minutes it was all done and he was wiping it up. It was aching it a little but I was really excited to see it.

“You ready to see it?” I nodded and looked at my arm to see the best tattoo I could imagine. The clouds were a beautiful combination of greys and whites, my sheep now with a spliff in its mouth and a second, slightly wonky looking, sheep with a spliff also in its mouth and sunglasses on. It kind of looked like a child drew the second sheep but I loved it even more for that.

“I put our initials at the bottom so we don’t forget who is who.” I giggled looking at his scruffy handwriting underneath. “So... what do you think?”

“I fucking love it!” I said wrapping my arms around him hugging him as tight as I could. “Thank you Pete.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and let Jon wrap my arm up in cling film.

We grabbed some Taco Bell on the way home, I was designated DJ and he driver. I was, questionably, rapping along to Colson and Corpse’s new song while Pete laughed at me. He slipped his hand into mine, giving it a small squeeze and continued driving and started rapping along as if that was a normal for us to hold hands. I smiled and gave his a squeeze back even though I was a bit shocked. Shocked but yet it felt normal.

“You can roll the next one, my arm aches,” I said flopping onto my bed.

“Is that gonna be your excuse for the next week?”

“Did it work?” I looked up to see him shaking his head and chuckling as he picked up the rolling tray.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” I smiled and winked as it sat up.

“You’re lucky too, you get to look at this cute face all the time.” Pete leant forward and took my hand, pulling me into his lap.

“What would you say, if I asked you out... to dinner or something?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and furrowed my eyebrows.

“What like a date?” His smile and confidence drained from his face immediately and I had to force myself to hold back a laugh.

“It doesn’t have to be no, I just- aw fuck.” I started pissing myself laughing, holding onto him tight to keep my balance.

“Yes I’d love to go on a date, if you hurry up and roll that joint, I teased winking at him, swinging myself off his lap. “I’ll even put on The Mule yeah?”

“I’m definitely the lucky one.”

#Pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson x you #fuffy #angst

199 notes · View notes