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#good excuse as any to leave
lensdeer · 1 year
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If Discord bans me from self-botting I will face god and walk backwards into hell
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ronkeyroo · 23 days
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Koda & Saturn on a lil walk because I love!!!!!!!!! Autumn 🍂
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ingravinoveritas · 9 months
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Went to my work holiday party last week and got to do a mini-photo shoot! So much fun...
|| Bonus: Me with my first-ever Christmas wreath at my new apartment!
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rexscanonwife · 6 months
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WATCHED A FEW EPISODES OF THE 2016 PPG REBOOT...........
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storfulsten · 1 year
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You don't have to...but I wanna see Whitty listening to music with headphones in, and Bf is just curious about what he's listening to. Also they're on a bench, and Bf is sitting next to him looking confused as to what he's listening to.
(My guess? It's a Corpse Husband song, since in my opinion, it goes that way for Whitty.)
sorry it's so sloppy and lazy and probably not quite what you wanted but here
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whitty's just vibin and bf is just hella confused bc yea.. hearing some dude that sounds almost exactly like your crush singing about choking and other such things sounds totally groovy and not all that awkward at all no sir lol
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wormmpile · 2 months
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Sometimes I see someone say something about a piece of media as if it is revelatory mind blowing hot off the press news, and not the most basic obvious point of the work or the most basic obvious allusion, and it makes me roll my eyes a little because I'm like yeah yeah the time knife we've all seen it, and then I have to like physically step in and shake myself and be like actually Susan we have Not all seen the time knife, and anyway someone else is enjoying the wonders of media analysis as a hobby for maybe like. The first time in their life if they're young enough. Don't be a bozo just because you think you're smart. Nerd. Fuckass. If you were a high school english teacher you'd be pissing yourself in joy rn because someone connected the dots. That's so cool that they did that. And I go about my day because I'm normal
#i also do this with history stuff but somehow less... even though it's my actual academic field which i am trained in#i think bc i always felt out of my depth in my history program and the only reason i was ever any good at it#is because im innately just good at understanding media#like all my history work was secretly just an excuse for me to do literary and rhetorical analyses of very niche real world paraphernalia#if i got my grad degree in something completely fucking useless it would be either rhetoric or comparative literature#but sometimes people do say base historical facts that are just fundamentally incorrect and sometimes conspiratorial garbage#and it does make me want to die#anyway this is about someone in a youtube video arguing that flowers in the attic by vc andrews is a gothic horror novel#babe that's.... that is in fact the genre of that novel#0 note post#im aware it is an insanely cocky ridiculous thing to say that im innately good at understanding media but the thing is#im right#i dont have to study it the media just tells me things it whispers them in my ears sensually and i nod and take notes#i see the patterns constantly it's pretty scary#i told my friend recently about my secret plan to one day write a novel length thesis on why house of leaves and moby dick are the same#type novel and they were like saturn your brain is so big and well it is because tell me im wrong. you cant#the whale is literally a house#i think i could make it a whole thing about Haunting as a physical presence within the narrative and expand it beyond those 2 books if i was#ambitious enough. because good ghost stories and stories of the dead are all warped at their foundations#they were broken before they ever came to you by the weight of all the death inside them#this is my poetic justification for why moby dick is unnecessarily long btw. the chapter where ishmael lists white things actually was#necessary because well it's about grief. can't forgive the bad whale facts though#i mean for the time maybe but there is no justification for them they're just extremely funny
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deus-and-the-machina · 5 months
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ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.
the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,
but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.
It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.
#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the#colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and#yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its#absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the#provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing#seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp#their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid!#also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl#ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat#and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way'#this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural#conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his#ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more#complex than that by this point aaaaaugh#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#siren says#I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em)#ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I#like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona#experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably#upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people
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waywardsalt · 3 months
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bc its been bouncing around in my head i think another little tiny grievance i had with totk is that i got to the end and just felt a sense of ‘well what the hell was that all for then’
#salty talks#like. ok. look at me. do you ever think abt how link loses an arm but absolutely nothing comes of it#it was basically just an excuse to give him powers and there was nothing actually done with yknow#him losing an arm. or how the light dragon thing didnt really have any long lasting consequences#and generally like. i had to think for a moment to remember why the hell she did that#what was her purpose in the past again???? what did she accomplish actually??? oh right the fucking sword#its like. i get to the end and like nothing has changed it all resets to zero it barely even feels lile a change#woth the other races pledging loyalty like the past (gags) bc barely anything abt hyrule changed between those two times#mineru leaves. she was a lot of wasted potential. nothing CHANGED it all just reset back to the status quo#no one learned anything i feel nothing new or interesting just oh hyrule is good :) it all feels so hollow#like you go on this big adventure and then at the end you dust yourself off and go back to doing basically#exactly what you were doing before that all happened like nothing happened. thats how it felt. what was the point#yeah sure new zonai stuff but that never sinks in its not important to the main narrative so it feels like nothing#it just. felt like there was no real point to the adventure except to affirm that yeah the past was perfect keep doing that#while none of the characters actions really have any lasting weight to them and they barely feel involved#i need to stop i can feel myself wanting to keep going lol. link losing his arm but the game not at all engaging with it is frustrating#totk salt#like to me it’s an issue bc its a long game with a lot to do but when you reach the end it just rings so fucking hollow#the main story/narrative equivalent to all those fucking collection items where the prize is a useless fucking token
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rebelband · 1 year
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Have you ever drawn a personality swap with the group? Or maybe even like an opposite personality thing. Idk I was imagining k k with a bit of attitude
mnn... I doodle full-on body swaps (x) once in a blue moon, but I don't usually tend to sit too long on personality swaps?
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here's two hypothetical configurations though (based off my own interpretations for convenience). these keep their main trait (energetic/smooth/silly) and alter their personalities solely.
swt is a worker and a perfectionist; it is also, well. sweet! but has a lot of drive while being a bit stubborn. cpn would be more strong-willed (while still avoiding physical conflict), and he'd be the sort to try and work to avoid any feelings/thoughts. cks would be less easygoing, but they'd still be excitable! (their jokes, unfortunately, land a lot more flat this way.) they'd have more priority on work than play.
cpn cares about appearance a lot and maintaining things (or getting new, better things). swt's never been much to care about its looks, but this verse would make them a bit more worried about how cube-like it is and try to smooth those edges down. cks would be the kind to act like they're flirting/being deceptive, but it's all just to lead it into some sort of joke or silly prank. basically they're just more lowkey (and self-conscious).
cks is a huge people pleaser that doesn't want anyone to fret over them and fairly passive when it comes to taking lead. in this case... swt would want to make sure everyone (and it means Everyone) has fun; they also have far too much energy and not enough time to do everything that comes to mind. if they didn't have enough dropped drafts already, well, now they have so many more... cpn would be the guy that tries to play cute/cool in a funny way, not a "hey mama what's up!" way, and would Not have many issues with their identity.
...at least, the configuration I like more is scc but one position to the left (swt with cpn's, cpn with cks's); that's just me being biased. I could talk about the dynamics of both kinds in another post, maybe...?
and an opposite personality verse sounds interesting, but I'm not sure how that'd go...
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is it that sweet becomes less brave and willing to fight whereas cap'n takes on those attributes? k_k being more straightforward and honest than they are silly (e.g., "I'm thirsty" when wounded)? no clue... I don't really enjoy this one too much since it takes too much away from them when it's exaggerated in such a way............. kinda.
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hearts401 · 27 days
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raises my hand i actually like the concept of a shitty parent getting better i just hate when its used to be like "im good now so you should forgive me."
people grow and change and hurt people!!! and those hurt people deserve to move on without having to forgive their abuser!!!
#this is why i get defensive when ppl make all sorts of reasons why rhinedottir did what she did#if she killed dorian for being imperfect then whatever!! i hate her for that but you dont have to#not only does it go with her little mental break that she 100% had lets be honest#it also fits the “Perfectionist” thing that the sinners were trying so hard to achieve#it MAKES SENSE#even if its nuanced that doesnt make it ok!!! but at the same time i dont think shes 100% stuck to being a terrible person nor do i think++#shes always been a bad mother#i think she was a great mother before everything went downhill and honestly if she gained a sense of apathy towards her kids itd MAKE SENSE#ofc im not saying this is true. im just saying its possible and it doesnt take away from her as a character#elynas is just as reliable a source as albedo dare i say!!! he was not in a strange mindset bc he wasnt corrupt like durin#the way he described her was valid. so was albedos when he said she threatened to leave him.#if the trauma from the cataclysm is what caused everything#that makes sense#but its not an excuse and it doenst mean she had some extra hidden reason for what she did. sometimes people are bad people!!! clearly she+#did SOMETHING right with albedo because he has a sense of morality. but even so you can TELL shes not a good mom EVEN TO HIM#i dont know where im going with this im getting turned around UHM#TLDR; shes a terrible mother. and a pretty bad person. but that doesnt mean im saying shes evil without nuance#it just means what it sounds like#plenty of parents fucking SUCK without meaning to. whether she cared or not she was still a pretty bad mother. thats all im saying#im willing ot talk about her but im NOT willing to have people argue that any of her children deserved what they got.#not albedo and NOT dorian.#elynas to dorian to albedo is a great pipeline for her as a character. which is why i like to believe elynas came first;#alfisol and dorian came close to last#and then albedo came last long after the others#every character has nuance however i am allowed to dislike them despite that#tzu rambles#that said i understand how it comes off as biased when i only talk about her children but unfortunately her children are the only reason i+#know about her at all. thye are my favorites and my content centers around them </3
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aroaceleovaldez · 2 years
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Hi this is a very random question with probs no answer but I wanted to see your opinions on it. Who do you think is castor and pollux’s mother/other parent? (Mr D’s kids not the actual mythological figures lol) Cause the main options that me and my friends came up with is that either they were someone who some how came to the camp (specifically not a camper but idk how’d they’d get there) Or they were a camper. Either way Mr D isn’t supposed to leave the camp, so how can he have kids?
(I’m not asking if you think they’re a specific character more so who would their other parent be if that makes sense lol)
So one of the established things in the canon of how deities work - at least the Greco-Roman deities - in PJO is that they can inhabit multiple spaces at once, which is very interesting. We’ve seen this a couple of times in varying forms (less so as the series goes on), in fact primarily from Dionysus. The best moment I can think of off the top of my head in-series that explains this is in TLO, where Percy talks to Dionysus while Dionysus is at a party and he explains how he can manifest at least partially present in either a physical or non-physical form in places relevant to his aspects - in this case, revelry. Mr. D, as camp director, is almost entirely present and locked to CHB, but he is capable of also partially not being there, because he does still have godly duties to attend to in bits and pieces in places where his aspects are present. So, theoretically, we can presume a situation such as that is how Dionysus had Pollux and Castor. (This also plays into my personal headcanons about demigods being primarily born of specific epithets of their parents - as presumably the partial-presence thing would result in only specific aspects of that deity being present to specific things - resulting in a specific range of potential powers depending on which epithet they’re born from, i.e.: Meg being born from an older form of Demeter.)
Though I do also like your idea of Castor and Pollux’s mortal parent potentially being a mortal who visited camp, because we actually have a couple of different routes you could go with that. First is obviously, parent of an existing demigod at CHB, which is kind of a really funny option to me because this means Castor and Pollux potentially have (or had) an older half-sibling with a different godly parent. That also actually fits the myth of the original Castor and Pollux well because depending on the version of the myth they actually had separate fathers despite being twins (or, also depending on myth, actually quadruplets with twin sisters Helen of Troy and Clytemnestra). Heck, if we want to go more in on the myth paralleling, maybe Castor and Pollux are quadruplets and have or had twin sisters in camp in a different cabin, and their parent had come to camp before actually having their kids to get advice beforehand from Chiron. I actually really like that headcanon now. Dang.
Other options are the “mortal ended up in camp not knowing anything about demigods” routes - and we have two potential routes I can see for this. One being the Lost Pizza Guy™ route of “A deity purposefully summoned a random mortal to camp for Reasons and let them in,” second is actually acknowledging that CHB is, to mortals who cannot see through the mist, disguised as a strawberry farm that is publicly known and theoretically occasionally receives mortal visitors (by accident or on purpose) which is also interesting because in TOA we’re actually told that CHB is surrounded by other farms. Maybe it was people from a neighboring farm visiting, or mortals who wanted to tour and/or go strawberry picking, both of which do actually align with Dionysus’ aspects as an agricultural deity, which is also potentially pretty cute cause that implies Castor and Pollux’s mortal family is most likely local and that Castor and Pollux might have grown up around camp if not actually lived right next to it.
Anyways, options abound! Thank you for leading me down this train of thought because now I have significantly more Castor & Pollux thoughts and they’re all very cute. These are all delightful options.
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dogearedheart · 2 months
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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the-eclectic-wonderer · 2 months
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I just finished watching S2E13 The Stan Who Came To Dinner, and there's a scene I didn't remember before in which Stan asks for Dorothy's forgiveness for all the times he cheated on her, because he wants to face his operation with a clear conscience. Which is,, yikes, of course, but also not the thing I want to talk about right now.
What surprised me is that Dorothy seems to be shocked at his revelations? It seems like she really didn't know about Stan's infidelity? I mean, the whole dialogue begins with her saying:
"I've already forgiven you for that, Stanley. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, it's not bad to wait 38 years to make your first big mistake."
I initially thought his mistake was divorcing Dorothy (since his line before this one is 'I love you, Dorothy. That sounds crazy because I walked out on you, but it's true.' ), but then he admits that the divorce wasn't his first mistake, because he's cheated on Dorothy before -- and she seems genuinely taken aback:
"I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I always assumed something like this could happen, but..."
And this was so strange to me, because I always sort of assumed she did know. She even caught him one time! In S7E8-9 The Monkey Show, she recounts this episode about Stan:
"[...] I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress."
So... she does know (of at least one time)? But then, why didn't she say anything?
I feel like there's three possible answers:
She really doesn't know. She thought the incident with the waitress was a one-time occurrence, and she's believed him all throughout their marriage when he said he was 'going at a convention' or 'working late' or whatever excuse he used to cover his actions.
She's lying to him in the S2E13 scene -- and she's lied to him all throughout their marriage. She does know about his affairs, and never confronted him because she wanted to keep their marriage and their family together more than she hated his guts; she didn't want to rock the boat, so to say. What shocks her in the S2E13 scene is that he's admitting this stuff out loud, with plenty of details.
She lied to herself all throughout their marriage. As trustful of him as Dorothy can be (and as trustful of him as she was in her youth, especially), she's also a smart cookie, and Stan's not really the sharpest tool in the shed. It's hard for me to believe that she never figured out that he was cheating on her, especially after catching him with that waitress; it's easier to think that she forced herself to believe his gaslighting, as part of her efforts to be a good wife to him. When Stan (sort of...) comes clean, she's shocked because it's sinking in, in real time, that she was right.
I'm not sure which option is more likely; I feel like it's probably a mix of the three. At the beginning of their marriage she likely didn't think it possible and believed everything he told her; once she caught him with the waitress, she had a sort of transition phase where she tried to believe he was faithful to her even though she knew the truth, deep down, and then by the end of her marriage she was over it, and simply chose not to let him have it. She's shocked in S2E13 because she can't believe he's admitting this stuff out loud, but she doesn't seem as shocked (and angry) as she would be if she was just finding it out in the moment, imho.
I also feel like her knowing about his infidelity doesn't change the meaning of the first mistake line, because, well... he's always come back before. He's come back to hurt her again and again, but he has come back -- and then she gets a phone call, and suddenly, for the first time, he's not coming back anymore. It's the one time that's so devastatingly painful it eclipses everything that came before -- no wonder she counts it as his first mistake.
#it's 'thinking about dorothy's marriage' hours once again folks#ohh dorothy... oh honey.......#there is so much going on in this episode this is just a part of it. the mere fact that this sorry excuse for a man comes to her for help?#and then he proceeds to LIVE IN HER HOUSE for months?? being waited upon for his every request??#and then he has the gull to LIE TO HER and fake a relapse just to keep being waited upon?? he asks for her forgiveness for his cheating???#he TELLS HER HE LOVES HER??? bitch im going to murder you!!!! leave the woman alone!!!!!!#blanche and rose and sophia are really good in this one they *do not* let him catch a breath i'm so grateful for them#half their time is spent insulting stan and the other half supporting dorothy. perfect no notes#i only wish dorothy telling stan to 'grow up' and to stop relying on her had had any consequence... and instead#he kept bothering her until the very end like the parasite he is#i also wish blanche and rose had kept this energy for the whole 'dorothy remarries stan' thing but oh well#that answer 3 is hurting me so much... like the mere idea...#i can see her lying in her bed at night alone and trying to convince herself that surely. this time. he really is away on a work trip.#there's no way he's having another affair. he's working. he's providing for the family. surely this time he didn't lie#but deep down she knows. she knows he's with someone else. and it eats her up even worse because she pretends everything's fine#AGH dorothy!!!! girl you should have planted a knife between his eyes!!! im sure you would have gotten away with it!!!#i'll go back in time and do it for you if you won't do it!!! just PLEASE girl stop giving him the benefit of the doubt!!!!!#YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak
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gaylittleguys · 4 months
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it’s actually so fucked up and evil that random white npcs from bg3 that show up twice got more dedicated fans than Wyll
#racist fans will do anything to avoid actually engaging with a black character#like. no offense to normal people who like some of the fun npcs#there’s a lot of them! I love all the detail put into the npcs!#but.#HUGE but#it’s weird right that there was more fandom about background guys than one of the major characters#and then people would go ‘ohhh but wyll doesn’t rly have any content :/‘#like guy who’s there for like 3 scenes max could possibly ever have more depth than A MAJOR CHARACTER#I’m not even excusing it as oohhhh but people want hot tiefling characters bc WYLL#I will defend Wyll to the death#if there’s no Wyll defenders I have died#if Wyll has a million fans I’m one of them. if Wyll has 5 fans I’m one of them. if Wyll has 1 fan that 1 is me.#like yeahhhhg Larian did him dirty with his storyline and fucked up that he was hours less content than other origin characters#I’m not excusing that that’s awful too#but like. idk if you say Wyll is boring while hyping up white npc no.324 I’ll kill you#he’s funnyyyy and cool and kind and I like him#.doc#what everrrrr#I’m hoping the bg3 has calmed down a little I don’t wish to be crucified for this but it shouldn’t be a controversial opinion#boring bg3 fans would throw up if they’d see the shit I think about these characters#Larian let me have a go I’ve got good ideas for his story#sucks that Wylls arc revolves so much around other people#I still think it would have been soo interesting to explore his ideals/alignment leading him astray like his misconceptions about karlach#like a whole if he belives what he’s doing is for good but it’s not where does that leave him how would he feel about that#whateverrrrrr#wyll my best friend wyll#my beloved
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inniave · 5 months
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after surgery i'm buying myself pentiment goddamnit
#reasons to live#also new doctor who episodes#i've been wanting to play for soooo long but haven't really had the money to spend#so i'm using this as an excuse#trying to focus on all the fun/good/cool things that i can do after#seeing hozier later in the summer#watching the wild flowers come up in the backyard#this is hell but i will get through it and there WILL be an other side i will make sure of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#there's a chance we can get it done tomorrow if the doctor thinks it won't be super complicated#i hope we can cause the longer this goes the more we suffer#i just want it to be over#once i'm all healed i am going to smoke a cigarette and savor every fucking puff i haven't been able to smoke for over a k month now :/#another thing to look forward too#and i think i have a vinyl preordered???? am can never remember what other parts have bought#oh and i'm going to binge rewatch the hunger games (all of them) after surgery#been meaning to do that & im using this as an excuse to do nothing but watch movies all day#got some audiobooks downloaded that hopefully they'll let me listen to during (unless it's going to be loud (??) then i have music)#i'm taking my puppy stuffie husband got me when we had to live apart for a summer before we got married#puppy is so special to me#he goes everywhere with me#i love him so much#i would just hold him and cry and cry and cry when husband had to leave :((((#i am so scared#there's so many young parts too who are just i mean they are the ones holding a lot of this shit like i cant imagine what it's like for the#the little bit that leaks through to me is horrific and makes me want to fucking vomit#i'm worried for them#they're splitting bad :((( and i don't have any way to help#we're doing our tapping and tre and everything but idk how much that helps on the inside#idk man#it's all so much
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tickisms · 8 months
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if the tick was trans would it look like this. ignore that it would probably be like impossible for him to have top surgery. sorry im tired
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