#good luck to you!!

[meetmeatthecoda]

Sorry if this is kind of random, but I've always struggled with finding friends in a fandom because I get too nervous about interacting even in small ways and end up keeping all of my fandom stuff secret, like most of my tumblr reblogs are private and I don't tell anyone about my ao3. But I've recently resolved to work on that, so I'm planning on starting over with a new blog and a new ao3 handle and moving all of my fav old content to it and being more interactive going forward. But...old habits die hard, and since you're so so so kind and friendly, and you're one of those ppl who's known in their (corner of a) fandom, like other writers call you by your name and anons send you prompts/theories/feels and people just!! talk to you about your fics and stuff and!!!, I was wondering if maaaaaaybe you could give some pointers on how to "join"/integrate/idk!!! in a fandom? Sorry if this is a really weird or difficult question aaaa, anything even your own experience would be nice but it's ok if you don't want to answer. Happy early halloween from a debilitatingly anxious anon 💙

Hi there, anon!! ❤️ Omg, firstly let me say that while yes this is an unexpected ask, it is also a very welcome ask!! I can't say I've ever been asked something like this before, but I can also say I've perhaps never related to an ask more before!! I 1000% also... identify as... an anxious person (I'm tip-toeing with my wording here bc - while I have always been an anxious/nervous person, especially socially - I've also not been professionally assessed or diagnosed, which is solely my own doing, but I know that can be a dividing line with this topic sooooo I'll just say that... I believe that I can understand at least a little of how you feel) & fandom can be a very intimidating & nerve-wracking place!! Prior to starting this blog, I was only ever on the outskirts or in the background of the fandoms I was interested in -- The Blacklist was the first fandom I made an effort to actively be a part of, so I know how jumping in with little to no experience can be scary!! Also... ever since I hovered on the edge of fandom - peeking in with envious eyes at active bloggers, shippers, & content-creators - I have always wanted to be someone... well, someone exactly like you so kindly described me: someone who's known in their fandom & has a nickname & is even sent asks & I honestly can't believe it happened to me. And while this is by no means the only or best way to experience fandom, it is so gratifying & heart-warming & fulfilling to be so connected amidst a fandom community, especially a relatively small one like TBL!! BUT enough of my blabbering!! I'm probably the last person qualified to be giving the kind of advice you're asking for, but I'm more than happy to share my experience with you, anon, bc I feel like we're very similar people!! So, I'll list some bullet points below (under a cut bc we all know I never use one word when twenty will do lolz) on my thoughts on how to join/integrate in a fandom... if you'll be so kind as to take it all with a sizable grain of salt LOL 🤗

OKAY SO my first tip - bc this is what I remember doing the most in my baby!blog days - is:

Start by engaging with fandom content in whatever small way you feel comfortable with!! And the best way I found to do this?? Is the tags!! Tags are your friends!! That's literally all I did for the first few seasons of TBL after making this blog!! In my mind, the tags are kind of an optional/extra credit situation; you can leave them if you want to AND people can choose to acknowledge them or not. You can use them as a filing system, a place to leave your own thoughts or feelings (me AF lmfao), OR a dropbox for direct praise for the OP, which they will see in their notes!! Therefore, I've always found that to be the perfect, least stressful way of interacting in a fandom. That way, your perspective is there for anyone who chooses to see it, but people have that choice of whether or not to respond or follow you based on what they see. Plus, finding & engaging with the content you like helps you to follow the people who are making the content you like!! And, once you have, & don't be afraid to TELL THEM you like their content!! People love compliments, especially about things they're passionate about!! And I can tell you from personal experience that some of my best fandom friends were made over a love of each other's content!! On that note -

If you feel inspired, don't be afraid to step up & make your own content!! This will ID you as a fellow active fandom member which will attract the people you want to befriend!! Sidenote: this isn't necessarily why I started writing fanfic, but it was a delightful facet of the result!! Before I was a writer in the fandom, I simply reblogged gifsets & text posts by other talented creators & hesitantly - but slowly more enthusiastically - shared my thoughts & feelings!! And by the time I started writing, my blog was Lizzington-themed & familiar to fellow shippers... And when I became something of a content creator in the form of fanfic, that's when I think I really started getting asks, which is a whole other lovely part of fandom!! Of course, it always helps to be friendly & approachable (which you already are, clearly, just based on this sweet ask!!) & to leave your ask box open & your anons on if you're comfortable with that!! So, when you feel ready, be willing to converse & engage with people in comments & replies on your content, bc people want to bond over their favorite things!! And tbh in that way?? Fandom is sort of easier than real life, bc the awkward phase of "finding common ground" is already done!! OH & ON THAT NOTE -

Try to remember that anxiety is your worst enemy, even in fandom space!! Personally, I've always found fandom a place to let go of the anxiety that plagues me more in real life, but of course it's not that simple & anxiety can still be very present in online interactions!! But try to remember that other people want to make fandom friends too!! And reaching out to someone to try & make a friend is 99% of the time NOT going to be a bother to them. If you feel unsure about reaching out (which I often do!!), just picture being on the receiving end of your kind messages & offers of friendship!! Would you ever be annoyed at someone polite or reject someone kind or shun a fellow member of your fandom?? No!! And the odds are that like-minded people won't either!! But worst case?? They just won't answer & that's okay, too, bc you've lost nothing by trying!! 😍🥰❤️

So yeah, I don't know if this is good advice for you, my dear anon, it's literally just my own experience... but I have to say that I'm so proud of you for wanting to work on your fandom shyness!! (NOT that that's a necessity btw!! I'm a firm believer that SHY /DOES NOT/ = BAD!! Shyness is not a trait that needs to be "fixed" or "worked on" & it is not inherently better or worse than being "out-going", regardless of what the rest of the world likes to tell & show us. It is simply a different, equally good way of being that brings an essential variety to the world.) But the difference here is intent. You WANT to change your fandom experience & therefore you're going out of your way to do so, even though it's tough, & that's very brave!! I'm proud of you!! 😊 Anyway, if this long-ass response hasn't scared you off, feel free to pop back any time, dear anon, whether it's for more (crappy) advice, support from a fellow anxious person, or just to chat about Lizzington or anything!! Good luck to you, my friend, and remember: you can do it!! Much love to you, always!! ❤️

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[robyn-i-guess]

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

[intercrusher]

laura her dad and that bald guy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[gaybuckybarnesss]

DARYL MCCORMACK Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)

[andstuffsketches]

finally watched Reign of the Supermen

[unusualshrimp]

internet safety tip: to protect your identity, you can start going by a "fake name" online. But Watch Out

[uchihasavior]

!!

[shotmrmiller]

re: rugby team ghoap

it'd been a one-off, seize-the-moment kind of thing. casual hookups aren't really for you, plus you distinctly remember your ex prating on about how the team would only be here for the weekend hence the absolute burning need to go, and you've got work monday.

goodbye, great knowing them. you'd traipsed out of the hotel room with your sneakers in hand, soap's used jersey in the other- a memento of sorts, a trophy. mild serial killer behavior but you reckon since you just became another pearl in their long string of conquests, the least you could do is take something with you that won't be gone with a warm epsom salt bath and a couple of days rest.

("would ye believe yer the prettiest we've ever brought back with us?" right. you know where you stand on that scale, and people like you don't typically pull men like them. another cringe-worthy comment like that and you'd mistake their interest with pity.)

you'd put both jerseys in the wash later that day, and the rattling of your washing machine marked the end of your exciting weekend.

or so you'd thought. from your side of things, you'd wiped your hands clean of their sweat, spit and come and went home, once again falling back into semi-familiarity, expecting to go to work feeling completely relaxed and loose, in more ways than one, while ignoring the photos taken of you and the "star players" at the stadium on social media.

(no one caught your face, what bloody luck.)

when you see them again, it's by pure chance. you'd been ordering a sandwich at a deli down the street, hand already reaching for your wallet when an arm curls around your shoulders, dark, coarse hair of a forearm brushing against your cheek.

cedarwood and citrus. it clings to your senses— a sharp, tangy reminder of that time you'd only look back on when the familiar pang of want pooled searing hot between your legs. small world, you suppose.

"didnae leave a note. stole my jersey. 'm surprised ye didnae leave us money on the table, bonnie." warmth flared beneath your cheeks but you didn't cow to his crude joke.

"i suppose i could've left a tip. what do you want?"

the playful lines around his eyes smoothed as his lips straightened into a firm line, his eyes frostbitten. you ignore the way his touch makes you feel trapped, tethered, a cage made of velvet.

"took my shirt and then didn't show up to a single game after tha'. jus' gettin' wha' i'm owed. unless he's yer favorite."

how can he be your favorite when you know nothing about the sport they play and have no interest in knowing?

"too bad. we come as a package. get yer food, we've a place nearby."

(simon had been nowhere near as good-natured as johnny had about you leaving without a word. made you spit out apologies with swollen lips, only accepted the ones that came with a fluttering of your raw pussy around the splitting thickness of him while soap condescendingly cooed in your ear about lessons having to be learned the hard way.)

[mipmoth]

It's only me and you in this cruel world walking radiator

[chroma-imp-draws]

[coulsart]

I SAID I WOULD DO IT. I AM A WOMAN OF MY WORD. ENJOY YOU LOVELY LIL MONSTERS❤️

[thef1amethr0wer]

saw people calling Team Fortress 2 a hero shooter, I have to correct them.

[artemistartarus]

Me after the VMAs.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.

(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)