#good old unreliable tumblr post editor

[zoidriguez]

Falling Apart Under Your Fingertips

Pairing: Philip J. Fry/Bender Rodríguez

Rating: Explicit

Words: 3,970

A03 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52151683

Summary + Text under the cut.

Summary: "Bender felt...different.

As his systems came online, he noticed a ping from his OS that-

>An unidentified program has been launched. Check your task manager.

He definitely didn't authorize that - and his firewall was on, after all. As the rest of his body woke up, what the program was doing soon became very apparent."

Bender goes into the robot version of a heat, and has to show Fry how to help him deal with it. This is shameless frender smut.

-

Note: This is so very, truly, unabashedly horny.

-

Bender felt…different.

As his systems came online, he noticed a ping from his OS that-

>An unidentified program has been launched. Check your task manager.

He definitely didn’t authorize that - and his firewall was on, after all. As the rest of his body woke up, what the program was doing soon became very apparent.

Fry rose up from his bed, slowly, eyes trying to adjust to the light beaming in from the large window across from his bed, illuminating the minuscule particles dusted throughout the air. He looked over to the bed opposite him to see if Bender was awake, as he always did; except, something was off. Bender was trembling, he - and robots in general, for that matter - tended not to do that. Hm.

“Bender?” Fry asked, voice still thick with exhaustion. He rubbed his eyes to make the tired go away. “You good?”

“Y-yep!” Bender shot back, still facing away from Fry and shaking tremendously. He shooed him off, waving a hand to his general direction in dismissal. “Jus’ cold.”

Fry hummed in consideration. Despite his idiocy, he’d known Bender long enough to know when he was bluffing. He stretched, got out of bed - cringing when his feet hit the cold floor - and walked over to Bender’s side of the room. “You sure? You-“ Fry put a hand on Bender’s arm, the way his voice hitched a few octaves not going unnoticed. Fry got out a noise of confusion before- “Thanksforcheckin’inbudbutIthinkI’msickorsomethin’bye!”

In one swift movement, Bender had kicked Fry out of their room. Rude. He huffed and pounded on the door. “Bender! My clothes are in there!”. It creaked open a couple inches and Bender extended his arm out, handing him his clothes in a messy fistful. “Thanks, I guess…” he muttered. As he zipped up his pants, his annoyance at his roommate was replaced with worry. Fry knew Bender, and Bender was not acting like himself. The insistence on being alone was completely unlike him, and he grew to wonder if he’d installed another weird virus or something. Fry groaned to himself, a headache quickly developing. He sat on the couch and finagled his shoes on. “I’m goin’ out.” He shouted back, not waiting for a response and locking the door behind him.

Fry doesn’t consider himself a good thinker. But he believes his best work is done when he’s walking. He zipped his jacket up while he walked out of Robot Arms Apts., the bitter chill hitting him in a harsh wave. He almost would have reconsidered his stance that Bender wasn’t ‘just cold’ if it weren’t for his additional strange behavior. He headed downtown, his steps making a light but pleasant crunch sound in the thin layer of snow that decorated the sidewalk. Combing his fingers through his hair, he tried to will his headache away. Maybe I should have taken an aspirin before I left. The thrum of passing cars and passerby’s provided a nice ambience to straighten his thoughts. He knew Bender had a tendency to switch moods on a dime and have the occasional bout of weirdness; Bender’s just chaotic like that. But, normally, his motivations were extremely obvious - usually a plea for attention. But what about when it’s the opposite? He closed his eyes and tilted his head down, lost in thought and trying to ignore the ever increasing presence of his headache. He didn’t know what to think, or if it was even worth getting worked up over. For all he knew, Bender could just be calculating his next heist or somethi-

“Ow! Crud!” Fry yelped. He had bumped his head on a streetlight and staggered to the ground. That certainly wasn’t gonna help with what was now bordering on a migraine. He groaned and tried to set himself upright, slightly disoriented. The hit had pulled him out of his thoughts and he could now recognize a faint but familiar voice nearby. He twisted his head around to its source and spotted a news broadcast playing on the window TV’s of a nearby electronics store.

“Breaking - Beloved manufacturer and capitalist Mom responds to reports of strange behavior from the company's robots. Linda?”

She glanced at Morbo and gave her trademark laugh before turning to face the camera. “Indeed. Ever since 6:00 AM, reports have been coming in from MOM customers with claims that their robots are displaying symptoms such as higher body temperatures, loud fans, unusual noises, sensitivity to touch, and, surprisingly - high libido.” A cartoonish image of a flustered-looking robot was shown in the corner of the screen. “Just now, at 11:32 PM, a statement has been released by the head of the MOM corporation, Mom, regarding the issue.”

The video switched to Mom in a woodsy cottage setting, a golden retriever on her lap and an innocent smile on her face. “We’re aware of an eensy weensy little bug in our robots.” She touched her index finger to her thumb. “We’re working on fixing the problem. For now, just wait it out and your robot should be back to normal.” She gave a sweet look to the camera.

Fry frowned, all too used to her scheming and managing to avoid controversy. It made him uncomfortable how much she had the general public wrapped around her finger. Something was off and he could tell. The feed switched back to Morbo and Linda.

“There have been rumors that, due to the notable shortage of robots close to the holiday season, the company was activating a program to encourage procreation among units. When asked for comment, the corporation threatened us, and questioning was dropped.”

“Mom hurt Morbo’s feelings!” Morbo sobbed into his hands and Linda comforted him while maintaining her dead-eyed smile.

“Up next, sports!”

Fry’s mouth was ajar and he stared at the TV’s blankly for a few more seconds, whatever the two broadcasters were saying going through one ear straight out the other. His face was bright red. So that’s what’s going on? He staggered to his feet - he hadn’t realized he was still on the ground this whole time, and he’s pretty sure a passerby had called him a hobo - and leaned up against the previously-offending pole, wrapping his hands around it to balance himself. His headache still hasn’t gone away, but it lessened to an annoying but manageable background thump. Suddenly, his EyePhone rang, the display showing Bender’s contact photo. Fry tried to gather himself, it’s gonna feel weird talking to Bender knowing something so personal about him. Biting his lip, he answered the call.

“Fry,” Fry couldn’t ever recall Bender sounding so breathless.

“I know what’s going on,” Fry blurted out.

“I…I-'' Bender struggled to string his words together. Even through crummy phone audio Fry could hear his normally slow, ambient ticks accelerate. It was an agonizing few seconds before his voicebox managed to catch up. “Come back to the apartment,” He abruptly hung up, Fry’s phone making a short beeping noise to indicate as such.

Fry didn’t hesitate to start on his way back, but he gnawed at his fingernails, not knowing what to expect. Bender is the definition of unpredictability, and his vague message left Fry feeling anxious but eager. His walking slowly sped up into a speed-walk, until he was basically running, silently cursing himself for walking so far.

He got back as quickly as he could, fumbling with his keys before unlocking the door to their apartment. Creaking open the door, he called out. “Bender?”

“In here,” Bender mumbled from their room. His voice lacked his usual confidence and bravado. Once Fry reached the doorway, Bender cracked open the door a few inches, his face only slightly visible through the opening. He was silent for a few moments, avoiding Fry’s gaze, before speaking up, his demeanor shaky and awkward. “H-hey sweetcheeks, ya come here often?”

Not knowing how to respond to that, Fry tilted his head, pushed open the door some more - Bender moving to the side and holding onto the door like he was about to fall over - and entered their room. A pungent fruity scent immediately made itself known, seemingly coming from Bender’s bed, which was now covered in a towel that was soaked with artificial lubricant. Fry glanced at Bender, eyebrow raised. He just looked to the side, avoiding his eyes. Fry was dense, but, even he could see where this was headed. He had a newfound clarity since his headache had left. He sat at the edge of Bender’s bed, careful to avoid the towel. “You really want me doin’ this?”

“You don’t hafta if you don’t wanna-“

“It’s not that,” Fry quickly corrected. He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just - I dunno. Don’t you have better options?”

Bender shut the door and walked over to stand in front of him. “I can’t let anyone see me like this…I’ve got a reputation to uphold!” He crossed his arms and thin wisps of steam puffed out of the crease of his chest cabinet. “‘Sides, I tried to handle it myself, but it didn’t really…work out…” He added that last part under his breath, his brazen attitude disappearing from his voice.

That would explain the wet towel. Fry thought about it, and it all certainly seemed to add up. Yeah, he was just helping out his buddy in a tough situation. “I’ll do it. Just…don’t make this a gay thing.”

Bender breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to the bed. “This ain’t a gay thing. I’m not some robosexual.” He flipped the towel over to the dry side, not caring for the fact that the lubricant was now on the bed and thus negating the need for it. Fry turned around and Bender was opposite him, sitting on his knees.

“So…” Fry started, twiddling his thumbs nervously. “How do I do this?”

Bender scooted closer and opened his chest compartment. “Fondle around in here. Feels nice.”

He raised his hands before stopping suddenly. “Uh,” Beads of sweat were already painted on his forehead. He gave Bender a nervous smile. “Where exactly? I don’t wanna break you…”

Bender made a strangled noise. He forgot how destructive an unaware Fry can be, how delicate his own circuitry was, and that the average human didn’t exactly know how to pleasure a manbot like himself. Maybe he’d gotten himself in too deep, but it wasn’t like he had any other options. His surface prickled with a small static discharge, and he squirmed in place, his oversensitive nerves wreaking havoc on his libido. “Mmf,” It felt like something was jammed in his voicebox. A cloud of steam puffed from his neck. He really didn’t want to specify where he wanted his best friend to touch him. This whole thing was weird enough, and he didn’t want it to be any more humiliating than it already was. To compromise, he simply grabbed his wrist and guided it inside his chest compartment, stopping a few inches away from a bundle of wires. “He-eeeeeere,” He leaned forward to rest on his shoulder, suddenly weak when Fry eagerly grabbed all of them, rubbing the mass of electricity in between his thumb and index finger. He let his arms fall to the bed and a low moan rumbled from his voicebox, his human working his magic on his mechanics. “Fffuck,” Fry held onto his back with his other hand.

“Shh, I’ve gotcha,” Fry combed his fingers through each wire in the bundle and Bender was having trouble keeping his voice down. He knows he shouldn’t be worrying about it in a situation like this, and he doesn’t know why he values Fry’s opinion so much in this regard, but he does not want to finish early, for the sake of whatever masculinity he had left. He grabbed Fry’s arm out and moved his torso away, breathing heavily. He could feel Fry’s confused stare boring through him, and he held up a digit for a few moments while he caught his breath.

“Too…much…” He wheezed out, his voice already laced with static. Fry had a knowing look on his face and Bender looked away, wisps pouring from his chest compartment. Since when is he such a smartass? Fry’s presence certainly wasn’t making holding back easier, his chassis had only seemed to run hotter, and before he had the time to analyze that, he felt chubby fingers hold a circular plug near the top left of his body and he jolted like he’d been shot, an embarrassingly high-pitched moan escaping him. His torso pushed forward, his body abandoning him and seeking more stimulation, and he held onto Fry’s back for dear life. “Fuck! G-god, Fry, slow down-own-own-” He twisted the plug around in its socket, sparks flying from the small space in between, and Bender’s body jolted stiffly, his voicebox producing a series of indecipherable moans. Fry pulled his hand back sharply, Bender’s body getting much too hot to stay in. Bender shook for a few moments before falling backwards. He held himself up on his elbows, fighting his own shutdown protocol. His fans were impossibly loud, but managed to slowly cool his body down. Bender sat up. I just fucked my best friend.

Bender stopped. Something about that didn’t sound right.

Best friend.

Boyfriend?

He realized in horror that, at some point, he had caught feelings for this dumbass. He really wanted to believe that this program was influencing these feelings, he really did, but he knew in the back of his mind he’d felt this way for a long time. His ‘problem’ had only bubbled this up to the surface. The lines had been blurred between being platonic and romantic for a while. It really wouldn’t be surprising if someone mistook them for a couple.

But why was he so afraid to call it that himself?

He was silent for a few moments. He was gonna regret this later.

“Fry, you’re really not gonna like what I’m about to do,” Here goes nothing.

Fry tilted his head. “What?”

At least I can blame it on the program. “Make this gay.” Bender grabbed Fry’s shoulders and human lips met a robot mouthplate as static melted between the two. Fry sat in place for a few seconds before wrapping his hands around Bender’s head. He…really didn’t hate this as much as he thought he would. He rolled his tongue along Bender’s grill, the static tickling his throat nicely. He pulled back to catch his breath.

“I…I think I like this being gay,” He mumbled out awkwardly. He froze in place when he noticed a bit of lubricant leaking from the crease where Bender’s ass met his torso.

Bender shuffled away, a barely audible “sorry” being muttered while he shoved his hands in between his legs. Fry stared at him for a few moments.

Fry often struggled with words and which ones to say in what order to properly convey how he felt. He really wanted Bender, really did love him, and it became clear how he could show him that. He got up - Bender’s optics closely following him - and sat on another part of the bed, upright near the headboard. He lifted his hands up and signaled Bender to follow. Bender nearly sat on his lap, his ass just a few inches above a prominent bulge in Fry’s pants which he just now noticed. One of Fry’s hands held Bender’s hip while the other reached to open the door to his chest compartment. He was hoping he would touch his wires again, but he pulled out a screwdriver he only kept in there for emergencies. He made a noise of confusion but then Fry brought his head down and thumbed around the outer edge of Bender’s assplate, unscrewing each screw one by one. Bender’s face flushed and his steaming was getting worse again. He looked away; he felt like such a slut, even by his standards.

“Since when did you know this stuff?”

“I may have seen some videos,” He admitted, smiling up at him and a light blush spread over his features. Bender felt a pang to his masculinity again at how much more under control Fry was compared to himself. When the last screw was undone, Fry gently placed them and the screwdriver on the nightstand, before fully focusing his attention on Bender. He peeled off his assplate; Bender cringed at how much lubricant he had produced already. He was lucky he was waterproof. Fry set it off to the side and brought a hand to Bender’s hip again, his other hand moving between Bender’s legs. He rubbed at the outside of his exhaust pipe and Bender sighed at the contact, the pressure there relieving itself now that he was feeling touches at the right places. Fry briefly pulled away and Bender whined at the lack of stimulation, but then he slowly inched his finger in and Bender breathed shallowly, keening against the intrusion.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“F-f-feels amazing-ing,” Bender cringed at the sound of his voice, hyperaware of how broken he was becoming. His silicon walls clenched around Fry’s finger, and he pulled it out. Bender threw his head back. “Ple-ple-please,” He grumbled, his legs shaking. Fry hushed him, rubbing his thigh soothingly.

“Just gimme a sec, baby,” He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. He was sporting a half-chub already, but he was getting harder by the second. He held onto Bender’s side and lined himself up with his hole, throbbing at the feeling of his heat.

Fry hesitated for a second before he heard a whimper and, looking up, he saw Bender’s pupils had become pixel hearts. Feeling a little guilty for teasing him, he peppered kisses all over his head and face while he pushed into his exhaust pipe. Bender was holding onto Fry’s shoulders hard enough to leave bruises. “Let go a little, sweetie,” He patted at the robotic arms tethered to him and he felt them weaken a little under his hand. He knew Bender never - well, usually never - meant to hurt him, he tended to forget his own strength, and how delicate humans are. He’d finally bottomed out, reaching the hilt, and he could hear how loud Bender’s fans were running now, with their bodies so close to each other. Fry didn’t realize how warm Bender was, the slick silicon engulfing him nicely. Wanting nothing more than to please him, and to help stretch him a little quicker, he reached up and got a hold on the base of his antenna. Bender felt something throb inside of him and he cried out, so much positive stimuli at different parts of his anatomy. His walls squeezed around the cock inside of him and Fry left butterfly kisses at his chest while he pulled back before slamming into him. Any semblance of speech Bender was going to try and manage was dashed the moment he started moving, robotic warbles and buzzes overtaking his voice module. He hugged Fry and buried his face in his shoulder, too mortified to be under his gaze right now; he was thankful he let him. The fruity scent of artificial lubricant was intoxicating, and Fry was determined to get more of it. He thrust into him more aggressively, the hum of overworked electronics only getting louder as Bender got closer to the edge. He attempted to move his body to meet Fry’s thrusts but was barely able due to overstimulation.

“Need-need, you, I…ah…” He was barely able to string words together, thoughts blurring together in a pleasant fuzz. Fry moved his hand up to rub the ball at the end of his antenna between his fingers and now he was welling up, so much feeling at once making him unable to keep his composure. Fry used his other hand to trace circles into his back.

“Close?” He heard him breathe out. He made a noise of confirmation. “Me too, Bender…” The use of his name only brought him closer, and he hit his breaking point when he felt a smack on his shiny metal ass. Fry was fucking spanking him?! A surprised noise worked its way out of his voicebox and he thrust his hips forward, his torso going rigid and his limbs shaking violently; he found himself involuntarily contracting around Fry’s cock inside of him, over and over again. A hefty amount of steam was escaping him, only made worse when he heard Fry’s stifled moans against his chassis and his dick throbbing inside of him, load after load spilling into his exhaust pipe. He squeezed his eyes shut, his visual module glitching out too much to properly see anything anyways. Fry’s fingertips were over his back as he felt his systems go offline, unable to fight his shutdown protocol anymore, and everything went black.

>Startup successful. All systems operational for: Bender Bending Rodríguez.

Bender’s visor lifted and he held his head, groaning. He felt like he got run over, like whats-his-face that Fry had hit that one time. How long has it been? It was dark out now, which wasn’t the cast before he went offline; why did he go offline again? It all came back to him in bits and pieces, and while he was utterly mortified at what had happened, it wasn’t all bad; at the very least, he got his feelings for Fry out. Speaking of, he swiveled his head around their room, spotting him sitting on the edge of his bed, nowhere close to Bender. Fry noticed Bender noticing him, and he looked down, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit with a lead pipe.” He sat up, using his hands to support himself. “I don’t feel…like that anymore, though. Must’ve hit their quota.” He pulled a cigar out of his chest compartment, lit it with his thumb, and grabbed a beer that was set on the nightstand - Bender guesses that Fry set that there for him, which was uncharacteristically gentleman-like. “C’mere, babe. I wanna cuddle.” It’s the least you can do after fucking my brains out, Bender silently added in his head. Fry jumped. He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Huh?”

Bender stopped, looking directly at Fry now. “Whaddya mean ‘huh’?”

“I mean,” He swung his legs a little. He knew he was gonna have this conversation the moment Bender woke up, but any amount of preparation didn’t make this any easier. “I figured…it was the program, or something.”

Either Fry’s post-nut clarity hit him with the force of a runaway freight train or he really was that stupid. Bender groaned, his own excuse for plausible deniability backfiring on him and forcing him to share his own stupid dumb feelings without a wall to mask them behind. “I…lllove you, dumbass. Program had nothin’ to do with it.” He looked away, taking a drag of his cigar. He heard a faint titter from Fry’s side of the room that devolved into a giggle, and Bender looked over, offended. “What’s so funny?”

“N-Nothing! I just,” Fry coughed into his hand to compose himself. “I’m happy, and, and excited…” He smiled and walked over to Bender’s bed. He scooted himself under the covers and put his arms around Bender’s torso. “I really like you, Bender…” He said under his breath. Thankfully, Bender heard him, tangling his fingers in orange hair and massaging his scalp. He melted into his touch. Before, Bender would have made a joke about how easily the human body was manipulated, but after today, he felt like he didn’t have much room to speak on that. His body warmed up and Fry sank into his body, Bender being a good source of heat against the winter chill.

“I really like you too, meatbag.”

[pebblysand]

[writing rant - on filler words]

[yes, i should be writing castles but here i am giving you unwarranted writing advice instead. sue me.]

this morning, you might have seen me reblog this post on filler words. it's a classic, very typical piece of writing advice where the author lists a number of filler words/sentences that you should scrape from your writing to appeal to publishers or make your prose seem more professional or whatever. i reblogged it saying: 'i disagree with most of these, don't listen to people who tell you how to write.' which a couple of you liked (cheers!) but upon reflection, i feel like this needs a bit more of a nuanced response, which is what i'm doing now. i'm not reblogging the post again because it's long and this is going to be long, and tumblr isn't necessarily text-friendly but do go read it first if you fancy.

now, as far as i'm concerned, the truth isn't that i think filler words are amazing and that you should keep them all, love them all equally like your precious children. of course, you should watch out for them. just like we do when we speak, we fill our written sentences with a lot of pointless fluff that brings nothing to our message. when used "wrongly," filler words slow down sentence pacing, hurt the rhythm of your prose, your ability to choose the correct lexicon for certain actions, etc. they're not always good, and you should definitely be aware of them in your prose.

however, what i dislike about these types of posts is the way people dispensing this "writing advice" make whatever they're saying sound like some sort of golden rule. like: if you don't do this, your story will be shit and never get published. i don't know much about the publishing world but i have written 300,000+ words of mildly successful fanfiction over the years, so i do know a thing or two about writing as a craft, if not a business. and, here's the raw, honest truth: believing that anything about this crazy art we're making is set in stone? that is the kind of thing that will make you a shit writer.

now, if you're following this blog, i'm guessing you like my writing, are probably quite familiar with it. then, this will not be a surprise to you: while i don't pretend to hold any sort of truth on the matter, god knows, i use a shit ton of filler words. by which i mean: a SHIT TON. take any paragraph of any fic i've ever written and i'm sure i could point you to some random word "botox" in pretty much every sentence. this post itself, if you're paying close attention, is also filled with them. and, another surprise: i know that. it's by design.

and, that, my friends, is what matters most. you should watch out for filler words, be aware of them, but if they end up in your final draft, it has to be for a reason. in fairness, i think that's where most of those writing advice posts get it "wrong" and why they annoy me so much: they tell part of the story, but not all of it. they talk about words in a vacuum like our words only exist to be pretty on a page, rather than to share something with other human beings.

now, as a disclaimer, i should preface this by saying that: it depends what kind of writing you're into. this is all very related to personal taste. as a reader, i tend to prefer stories that are told from a very distinct pov, where the story is told by a character rather than by the author. this preference also informs my writing. to me, a story can be first person or third person, it doesn't really matter, but i like a good old restrictive, terribly biased and unreliable pov in a story. i'm someone who 100% favours character over plot (although plot is terribly important too, don't get me wrong) and i like a person to tell me a story, not a robot.

in that context, "filler words" aren't just sentence "botox," they tell a story, too. they tell you who your narrator is. in a post like this, they inform you that i probably speak quickly, that i'm somewhat bubbly but assertive, that my sentences are long and rhythmic, and when i write "in fairness" rather than "to be fair," or "to be honest," it even hints to the fact that my main dialect is hiberno-English. in a work of fiction, filler words can tell you mountains about where your character is from, what they think, feel, etc... are their sentences short and devoid of any filler words? perhaps, they are extremely poised and self-confident, or perhaps they are so detached from what is happening that they are actually on the verge of an emotional breakdown. are their sentences filled with "just"s and "you know"s and "slightly"s and "really"s? perhaps they are insecure, unsure of what their next move will be.

filler words are also where style and pet peeves happen. you'll notice that i use "and:" and "like:" as sentence openers relatively often. it depends on the work and how i feel about the character, but it is something i enjoy playing with. i use 'rather' and 'perhaps' frequently, too, frankly for no other reason than the fact that i like the sound of them. not everyone does, obviously, but since i'm the queen of my own fictional kingdom, i get to authoritatively decide to abuse them. that og post said to not use "that" as a conjunction (prefer: "he said he wouldn't," to: "he said that he wouldn't). man, aside from dialogue, i hate "he said he wouldn't" with a passion. i always use "that" as a conjunction and detest the way my sentences sound without it. i find the absence of "that" clunky and unclear. i don't know whether it is right or wrong, but that's how i roll. the people of the internet seem to like it but if they don't, they're more than welcome to read the work of another author who doesn't use "that" as a conjunction. i'm not holding a gun to their head.

however, as you've probably guessed from the above, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't be aware of your filler words. both yours and your characters'. know what you like, what you don't like, how your narrator narrates and how your characters speak. know how you speak and write, what your strengths and weaknesses as a writer are. edit your work critically. this being said, scraping all the words that make the work special is ludicrous. you would be scraping your work of so much personality that could actually be what makes it unique. writing is an art, not a game of exactitude. if the goal was to write everything perfectly, you could ask siri or alexa to write your short story for you. where you need to be careful with filler words is for them to serve your story, rather than hurt it. the filler words? they need to be carefully considered, questioned, and you need to make sure that they are intentional, not accidental.

and, of course, that's the hard part. that's the part of the writing advice these posts never get into because making blanket statements in the world is always easier than saying: it depends. creating a work of art out of thin air isn't as easy as cmd+f-ing all the "just"s and hitting "delete all." it's noticing which of those filler words you overuse, and keeping them in the back of your mind while you edit, taking a lot of them out. it's listening to your beta/editor when they tell you to take more out. it's also sitting for hours in front of your word document, contemplating every sentence and asking: should i use "just" here? does it show anything? does it have a purpose? does it sound right? let me read this out loud. and, what about the "eventually" there? does that sound natural? is that more of dialogue thing?

that's the line of critical thinking that will make you write better. and, don't get me wrong, posts like the above are useful as a guide in the way that they tend to list the most frequently used filler words, which you can then use as an inspiration to spot these idiosyncrasies in your writing, decide whether to scratch them or use them creatively. but: i'm sorry to say, there's no golden rule to it all. just hard work and practice. trust yourself.

i hope this helps.

[embhm]

Chapter 196: THE TWO YOUNGSTERS’ INTERNAL STRIFE

NOTE: Here’s another chapter for you guys, enjoy! Also, we would like to mention that the letter to Chai Ji Dan asking for her official permission has been sent. Let’s all cross our fingers that she grace us with her consent!

Bear hugs to Sae for translating the chapter. <3

As a continued notice, please be advised that the “Addicted: The Novel” blog will always update the chapters earlier than here on Tumblr. Please visit https://addictedthenovel.wordpress.com for up to date postings on the translations. <Alec>

NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!!, in the comments or anywhere on this account. We have not finished reading the novel. No copy/paste and all that other shenanigans either. Votes/likes/comments are highly appreciated.

While reading, if available, please read the footnotes at the end of the chapter for clarification.

Translator:  Sae    Editor:  Alec As always, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying the journey with our SPECTACULAR boys:

GU HAI & BAI LUO YIN

《你丫上瘾了》

Chapter 196: The TWO YOUNGSTERS’ INTERNAL STRIFE!

On the road, Gu Hai swerved and turned the car several times. As he took quick and sharp turns at various corners, avoiding other cars along the way, he too was engendered with confusion that left him somewhat dazed. Meanwhile, the beautiful woman continued to remain calm and quiet in the back seat. Once Gu Hai felt that the surrounding areas were secure, he slowly turned the car back along the main road that he had previously driven from.

“Turn at the traffic light ahead.” The woman suddenly opened her mouth to speak, her tone not the least bit perturbed.

Although Gu Hai felt grateful for this turn of events, it was only when she spoke did he remember that there was actually someone sitting back there.

“I was being surrounded by a group of men. If you didn’t happen to be where you were, it would have been hard to escape.” As he said this, there was a faint discernable smile smeared at the corner of Gu Hai’s lips. Now fully aware of the other person, he glanced at her through the rearview mirror.

The woman’s voice was gentle when she finally spoke again, “I could tell.”

Seemingly surprised at the response, Gu Hai asked “You could tell?”

“I knew you were in trouble the moment you rudely harassed me.”

This was the first time Gu Hai had ever heard a girl say the word ‘harass’ so many times. He thought to himself:

How can such a young and beautiful girl that drives a relatively fancy car like this also have such a bold and unconstrained behavior? She’s not that kind of person, is she?

“Aren’t you afraid I’ll kidnap and sell you?” Gu Hai asked trying to probe for some answers.

As one of her brows slightly rose, the woman laughed, exposing what can be described as a simple yet contented set of dimples.

“You’re not that kind of person.”

“You could also tell something like that?” Gu Hai turned around and gave her another quick glance.  

Slightly smiling, she nodded her head, “Intuition.”

Feeling apathetic, Gu Hai had nothing else to say. At first, he wanted to find a gas station to fill the tank up in return for her kind gesture, but when he felt around in his pockets, he remembered that all his money were already gone. In the end, all he could do was give her an apology.

“You’re a resident of Beijing?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“No wonder, your accent sounded so familiar! Are you here on a trip or visiting relatives?”

“Visiting relatives. You’re a local here?”

“My parents are in Qingdao but I’m attending school in Beijing for now. Hey, you’re also studying, right? From your appearance, you look no more than 20 years old.”

Gu Hai laughed, “You’re the first to say that I’m young. My wife always says that I’m old.”

Taken aback by those words, said in such a natural manner, the woman’s eyes burrowed into his face. In just seconds, her brows rose to match that of the incoming question, “You already have a wife?”

“Yeah, I got married early!!” Gu Hai said with a bright smile stretching from ear to ear.

“……” At a loss, the woman could find nothing else to say.

When he was just one route away from the apartment, Gu Hai slowly stopped the car and expressed his gratitude one last time.

Still somewhat startled at his previous statement, the woman took the initiative to speak first, “Give me your phone number so that we can always keep in touch.”

“My number always changes, so it’s no use even if you know it.” With an insouciant air, Gu Hai opened the car door and stepped out.

The woman followed. Once she was able to take a good look at Gu Hai, her eyes were overflowing with ripples that resonated to and fro with the words, ‘don’t be like this.’

“I’ve helped you with such a huge matter and you don’t even want to give me your number? Aren’t you just being too stingy about it? Look, I didn’t even demand any gas money either,” said the woman in a contemptuous tone of voice.

Thinking through the circumstances, Gu Hai was already welling with anxiety. Even worse, the strength in his affected leg has yet to return. All he could think about was urgently returning to Bai Luo Yin. He did not want to continue nor did he have the time to waste dealing with this unnecessary tease.  

“The phone was already taken by those people. I really have to change it.”

Hearing that, the woman did not make things awkward or difficult for him again. Afterwards, she merely waved her hands, “Then we’ll meet again if fated to.”

After saying that, she pulled out a small bottle of perfume, faced Gu Hai’s back and fiercely sprayed it several times.

As Gu Hai walked away, he was rather puzzled at her action. So much so that he lifted his arm and sniffed his own clothes.

Do I stink or something? Why the hell did she spray perfume on me?......Whatever, I have to hurry back to Yin Zi!

When Bai Luo Yin was unable to get in contact with Gu Hai, he was compelled by this urgent need to give Gu Yang a call. Once connected, Gu Yang told Bai Luo Yin that Gu Hai did not pull through with their appointment. A couple of silent moments later, Bai Luo Yin told Gu Yang the situation at hand and after thoroughly understanding everything, Gu Yang repeatedly warned him not to be reckless and go out.

No words could be said to quell Bai Luo Yin’s worrying mind. Even after hanging up on the call, he remained waiting in the room, full of trepidation, as if he was sitting on pins and needles.

After what seemed like an eternity, there was finally a knock at the door.

Getting up, Bai Luo Yin quickly rushed to open it and was met with Gu Hai standing outside, grimacing in pain.

“What happened?” Without delay, Bai Luo Yin reached out to support him.

Actually, in this moment, Gu Hai’s leg was more or less better already. But, once he saw the deep concern that was painted intensely in Bai Luo Yin’s eyes, even his good leg was pierced with pain.

With his arm resting on Bai Luo Yin’s shoulders for support, they entered the room. The entire way in, he cried out ‘ouch’ and ‘shit’ as if he was in extreme pain and gushing blood.

“Exactly what happened?” Bai Luo Yin asked again.

Abiding by Bai Luo Yin’s worried insistence, Gu Hai took to telling him the situation that he had gone through. The only thing was, he changed the beautiful woman into a young man instead. At first, this narrative had a trace of drama tangled in it already. Now that it was coupled with Gu Hai’s dilapidated eloquence and unreliable facial expressions, not only did Bai Luo Yin not express any sympathy, there was also doubt riding across his face.

“Why does it sound like a movie?”

“Really!” Gu Hai anxiously explained, “I was really attacked! If you don’t believe me, just look here. My leg was also hit by a bullet!” While talking, he rolled up his pants to show him, but in the end, aside from a few strands of hair, there were no indications of anything else.

Looking on, Bai Luo Yin’s nose took in a whiff of an intense scent. It was not that he was being sensitive, but it was because this perfume was extremely strong. Truth be told, he had smelled it the moment he opened the door and at first had thought that it was a lingering scent from within the corridor, but now he discovered that it wasn’t. The source of this fragrance was, instead, pervading from a certain someone’s clothes.

Bai Luo Yin let his eyes remain on Gu Hai for a moment longer. The tone he used was interspersed with ridicule as he spoke, “Those hoodlums’ bodies were sprayed with a lot of perfume huh!”

Gu Hai’s complexion was circled with listlessness. It was only then did he understand that woman’s intention.

You really can’t poison a married woman’s heart!

“Oh, it’s not from those hoodlums. It’s the fragrance from the room. You know what kind of person my brother is. He likes to fucking use these flashy things. Say, even if he ordered a private room, why did he have to order one with a theme? A romantic one with flowers and……”

“Didn’t you say a moment ago that you didn’t go into the hotel?” Bai Luo Yin interrupted Gu Hai’s rigamarole.

Gu Hai was in turn surprised instead, “Did I say that a moment ago?”

“Nonsense!!” Bai Luo Yin’s eyes instantly ruptured in coldness.

Noting the change in the atmosphere, Gu Hai hurried to explain, “It’s like this. This leg, wasn’t it hit by a bullet? Why didn’t this bullet leave behind a scar huh? I reckoned it broke apart when it struck my leg and that fragrance was dispersed from the bullet.”

Bai Luo Yin laughed coldly, “You made that up yourself!”

Having said that, he swung his hand away to leave, but Gu Hai quickly grabbed his hand and held it firmly.

“Let go!” Bai Luo Yin shouted with a serious tone.

Gu Hai became anxious, “Don’t you know how to feel a bit more sorry or worry about me? Even that beautiful woman I accidentally met on the street was better than you. At the least she knew to help me out!”

A dark and sinister gloominess crept up Bai Luo Yin’s crestfallen face; it was the kind of dreadful look that would frighten anyone who came upon it.

Seeing his face, Gu Hai finally realized what he had just bluntly grumbled out.

Without giving him another glance, Bai Luo Yin returned to the bedroom. Suddenly the door was slammed so loud that even the earth trembled!

When it was time to sleep, the bedroom door was still firmly shut and Gu Hai had taken to nestling uncomfortably on the sofa. The more he thought about it, the more grievance he felt.

What the heck……was it easy for me to escape today, huh? If no one helped me out, I would have long been captured and sent back to Beijing already. By then, you wouldn’t have anyone to be fucking angry at! Would you be fucking happy if something were to happen to me? Do I have to lose half my life for you to actually know how to feel sorry and regretful towards me? Fuck!!  

Heated, Gu Hai grabbed Bai Luo Yin’s cell phone and found Gu Yang’s number and dialed it.

“You’re to fucking blame for all this! Weren’t you well off staying in Beijing, what did you run here for? If my old man asked you for help, did you really have to help him, huh? Yet you have the fucking balls to refuse me?”

Gu Yang only replied with three words, “Are you crazy?”

“Just look at the fucking mess that you’ve caused today! Even if you fucking came here, why the hell did you have to call me out?”

Without saying anything else, Gu Hai hung up the call but even then, there was still a flame burning on inside his heart. Suddenly, as if recalling something, he picked up the cell phone again for another glance. This glance only agitated the flame and invoked a raging anger in him.

“Bai Luo Yin, come out here now!” There was a loud bang when he kicked the door.

Since there was no response from the person inside the room, Gu Hai kicked the door again.

“You have the fucking face to say that to me!! Come out here!! Today, the two of us must have a good talk!!”

“Don’t be an asshole!”

The door was suddenly pulled open, revealing Bai Luo Yin’s cold and gloomy face.

With a darkened countenance as if he had emerged from a vicious death match, Gu Hai lifted the phone and angrily said, “Why does my brother know your phone number?”

“I gave him a phone call once. Wouldn’t he know my number then?”

“What did you give him a call for?” Gu Hai roared in rage.

Slightly frowning at the accusation, Bai Luo Yin also roared, “I couldn’t get in touch with you. Who else would I call if not him?”

“That’s not the main point!” Gu Hai retorted severely, unwilling to listen to any excuses, “We’ve completely deleted our address book already. How do you know his phone number?”

“I remember it by heart, is there a problem with that?”

With a pause between each word, Gu Hai asked, “You remembered his phone number by heart?”

“Yeah!” A burst of red shot from Bai Luo Yin’s eyes, “When you went to America…you went for more than half a month. Let me tell you, I fucking stared at that number every single day. Even when I dreamed, that number appeared. If it was you, would you forget it?”

A moment later, the room sank into a deathly stillness as Gu Hai’s tyrannical aura was swallowed up a little at a time. Just when Bai Luo Yin turned around with the desire to leave, Gu Hai pulled him by the waist into an embrace. Struggling, Bai Luo Yin took to ferociously seizing and pulling at Gu Hai’s clothes. But Gu Hai tightened his hold and continued to hug him, refusing to let go or give up even if his life depended on it.

After a long time, Gu Hai started to speak, his previously overbearing attitude was hardly sheathed with tenderness.

“You can’t be angry with me!”

Hearing those words, Bai Luo Yin became even more ravaged with anger. Fucking anger!

You came back with your entire body infected with this fragrance then yelled at me left and right. Now you’re ordering me not to be angry with you?!

“Actually, the truth is, the young man should be replaced with a woman. I didn’t dare tell you because I was afraid that you’ll get angry.” Gu Hai said truthfully, laying himself open as he tightened his hold even more.

Fuming with rage, Bai Luo in gritted his teeth, “Do you think that I am you?”

Gu Hai gently caressed Bai Luo Yin’s back and pleaded in a low and soft voice, “Don’t be angry with me. It’s a crucial moment right now. We’re fighting a battle alongside each other. How can we be fighting amongst ourselves?”

Bai Luo Yin coldly asked, “Which asshole became angry and started acting like a fool first?”

“I did, I did.”

“You confess?”

Gu Ha readily nodded his head, “I absolutely confess.”

Narrowing his eyes, Bai Luo Yin snorted before a small smile pulled back the corner of his lips, “I remember we came to an agreement back then that if you acted like a fool again, your pants will be immediately torn off.”

Hearing that, Gu Hai’s eyes slightly widened and his face tensed up. He deliberately pretended to be confused. “I don’t think so?”

“How can I forget such an important matter hmm? At that time, someone even kindly invited me to fuck him to death!”

“You’ve definitely remembered wrong.” Gu Hai ridiculed on, while averting his eyes.

“Xiao HAI ZI!! Today you have to behave and accept this punishment!!!”

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The original novel is written by Chai Ji Dan.

We do not own any of its content, we are translators and editors.