#goodbye for now here but not forever or everywhere

[dumbseee]

united in grief.

f1 au/fic: in which, you’re jules bianchi’s little sister. you’re the same age as charles and grew up with him, when jules passed away your world completely fell apart, and you left monaco for paris. eight years after jules’s death you finally decide to comeback to monaco to visit your old friend.

charles leclerc x bianchi!reader.

fc: madison beer.

warnings: mention of jules bianchi, grief, angst, fluff.

note: happy eighth heavenly birthday, jules, we will always love and remember you, champion 🤍

y/n just posted a story!

caption: missed you monaco 🤍

_

you really thought about going back for a while, you missed you life in monaco so much. all your friends were here, your family was here, even after jules’s death they stayed, but you couldn’t. every step you took in the luxurious city reminded you of your brother. his presence was everywhere. you were seventeen when you lost jules, he was your whole world, you always wished you were the one in that car. you left monaco for paris because you needed a fresh start in a new city where you could walk without feeling the people’s eyes on you. but a small part of your heart wondered if leaving monaco meant that you were abandoning jules too. he was buried there after all, his soul was now forever in monaco and you were leaving to run away from him.

but your parents reassured you, and told you to fly with your own wings, to find your way, that no matter what jules would be proud of you, and would follow you because he was now your guardian angel. that reassured you a lot since your worst fear was to disappoint him. but your parents were right, jules was an angel when he was still here, and he’s still one up there. so whenever you felt bad, defeated, sad, you knew jules was around you, that gave you the strength to stand up and stay strong. you had to, for your brother. to make him proud.

that’s why you decided to attend today’s race. the monaco grand prix, your brother’s home race. he loved that circuit so much because he knew his friends and family were watching him and cheering for him. you came back without telling anyone, but of course your mother had to tell pascale, so the elderly woman immediately called you to invite you to have lunch with her and lorenzo, her oldest son. you couldn’t say no, because you missed the leclerc, but also because you knew how much you leaving hurt them. you left without saying goodbye, it was too hard for you, so once jules’s funeral was over, you packed your bag and left.

pascale and lorenzo welcomed you with open arms and big smiles, the mother apologised for charles and arthur’s absence but they were busy. charles… you were glad he wasn’t here because you didn’t know how you’d be able to look him in the eye. "you should go to the grand prix with us." lorenzo had told you, with his usual warm smile. at first you refused, but after thinking it over you realised that you owned it to charles, you left him behind when he was also mourning. of course it was harder for you since he was your brother, but jules was everything to charles. his second older brother, he was also lorenzo’s best friend. you hated yourself for being such a selfish coward. guilt was eating you alive and lorenzo noticed it. "don’t be too hard on yourself y/n, jules isn’t going to be happy." he smiled and you had to fight back your tears.

so you came with the leclerc to charles’ home race, you knew that your presence would be the only talk in town and on the internet. "oh my god, y/n!" someone yelled from behind you and you smiled when you saw ‘little arthur’ like you called him back then. he ran to you and made you spin in his arms. you laughed and brushed his hair when he finally put you down. "look at you! where is my little boy?" you asked, still laughing. he flexed his muscles and flashed you a cocky smile before pascale came to hit him in the head. "where is charles?" she asked. "getting ready in the garage, he’s really nervous, i think you should go say hi." he told you. you immediately took a step back, you were nervous as hell too, but for different reasons than charles. what if he didn’t want to see you? what if seeing you ruin his race? what if-… "he still talks about you y/n, he misses you so much you have no idea." pascale chimes in, patting your shoulder.

you were in front of charles’ driver room, you knew that he was just behind it. you could hear voices inside which had to be charles and his teammate. you closed you eyes and knocked three times before waiting. a tall and tan man opened the door for you, he smiled at you and you recognised him as carlos sainz. "isa is waiting for me, see you on track charles." he told charles. "it’s nice seeing you here, y/n." you smiled and watched him go. you took a deep breath before walking into the room. your hands were sweaty and you didn’t know where to look. "y/n?" you haven’t heard his voice in nearly a decade, so him calling your name startled you. "h-…" you couldn’t even finish that charles had closed the gap between you, pulling you in his arms. his face was buried in your neck and his arms were hugging you tightly. you were completely frozen, you didn’t expect him to be that affectionate after what you did to him. "charles, i’m so sorry for leaving." tears were now rolling down your cheeks. he broke the hug and immediately wiped your tears.

"sorry for what?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. his hands rested on your shoulders, his touch soothing you. "i’m not mad at you for leaving, y/n. i just wished i was here with you to help you through the grieving process." he smiled and you looked at the ground. he was too good to you, you didn’t deserve it. "you lost jules too, i acted like i was the only one grieving, i didn’t realise the impact my brother had on people’s lives." charles gently kissed your forehead and stroked your cheek. "let’s talk about that later, let me enjoy your presence, you don’t know how much i missed you." he hugged you once again, and this time you wrapped your arms around him, savouring the moment. "my lucky charm is back in town." you couldn’t refrain your laugh at his cheesy comment.

_

"and charles leclerc wins the monaco grand prix for the first time in his career!" the whole stadium cheered for the monegasque meanwhile you couldn’t stop crying. he won. he won in monaco. it was his goal and he did it. pascale hugged you while cheering for her son, lorenzo and arthur ran to their brother. but you stayed in your seat, looking at him jumping everywhere and celebrating with his brothers and carlos. then, when he turned around to face your direction he did something that sent shivers all over your body. he pointed at you, then at his heart, and then at the sky. this was jules’s celebration every time he’d win something and you were there to support him. he honoured jules even when he finally fulfilled his dream. "jules, you are so loved." you muttered to yourself, looking up at the bright sky.

liked by charles_leclerc, arthurleclerc, philippe_bianchi17 and 2 682 789 others.

y/n: coming back in monaco was hard, but i wanted to be here for charlie, i was scared at first because i knew that i handled my brother’s death terribly but in eight years i forgot how kind you were. i finally understood why jules loved you so much. congratulations on winning your first grand prix in monaco! i’m so proud of the man you became charles, i know that my brother is proud of you and will always look after you. je t’aime charlie ♥️

_

charles_leclerc: this one was for you, and of course jules, i’m so happy to have you back, je t’aime aussi ♥️

fan1: i can’t stop crying wtf

fan2: jules’ death affected everyone, even the people who never even met him, like me, he was such an angel

fan3: your brother is proud of you y/n! don’t be too hard on yourself!

fan4: we love you!

fan5: so happy to see you healthy!

fan6: man, this family suffered too much, i hope they’re happy now

fan7: charles and y/n relationship is so cute omg

fan8: the way he dedicated his win to the bianchi siblings 🥺

[absolutelyhugh3s]

michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!” 

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed. 

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell” 

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

[diarioculto]

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY ( sebastian vettel x fem!reader )

notes: hey everyone, and happy new year! that 2024 is a marvelous year for all of you ♡ here’s that piece that i’ve been promising you for all this time as a celebration for 200 followers! thank you so so much and i love ALL of you ♡ enjoy!

you had first met sebastian many years ago, when you were both kids.

he was quite the ambitious kind, always defying the laws of everything with his big desire to be the greatest, mainly in the field he loved: formula one.

you were more down to earth, the quiet girl who spent hours in her little corner, secretly wishing for a more exciting life. that’s why you followed the blonde everywhere to every little adventure he had set up, to every karting competition where you cheered him on and on as the chequered flag declared him champion. even to those playdates at the center of the city, chasing him around the water fountain, where he promised to never leave your side.

but you eventually grew up, the boy now taller than you. much to your appreciation, sebastian still had that childish spirit within him, but much more mature now. deep down, you wished that he was still a kid, so that he could forever stay with you.

especially when he told you that he was moving away.

“ i got a contract. bmw sauber. they want me to race for them next year. ”

you were both at the water fountain, like the old days, panting from running around.

you quickly turn to him, heart clenching inside your chest. sure, you had done bad things over the course of the years but this punishment was way worse than all of them.

“ oh, that’s— that’s great! i’m happy for you. ” you throw him a quick smile, adverting your gaze to your lap, playing with the bracelets on your wrist. sebastian cocks an eyebrow at you, cheeky grin on his face.

“ really? you don’t seem very ecstatic about it, schatz. ” he chuckles at you but you don’t respond, still focusing on your hands as they rested on your lap. the laughter around you quickly dies down, the boy taking one of your hands on his own.

“ hey— hey. it’s not the end and you know it. this isn’t a goodbye. ” he reassuringly squeezes your hand, trying to get you to look at him. you sigh, scared that it was all going to be a lot harder than you could deal with.

“ i’m afraid it is one, sebastian. ”

the whole world around him stops moving. his breathing gets heavier. he feels his chest eating him alive as his ears ring louder and louder.

in all the years you have known each other, not once have you called him sebastian. sure, he was your seb, your sunshine… geez! even vettel when you were mad at him. but never sebastian.

“ don’t call me that. ” his voice is just above a whisper and he isn’t sure if you heard him, your gaze still avoiding his. “ schatz, look at me. ”

you finally turn to him, tears in your eyes as you bite your bottom lip. you smile softly at him, and for a brief moment, he thinks it will all be okay, that you can get through this together. before he could promise you anything else, you gently cup his face as you kiss his cheek, leaving a wet spot right below his eye.

“ maybe it’s for the better. ” in that shaky voice, even though you were trying to reassure him, it feels like you’re doing it more for yourself. with no other spare second, you get up and leave him all alone by the water fountain. he just watches as you walk away, mind hazy and confused.

you didn’t dare to look back. he didn’t care enough to run after you.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“ last day in formula one. how are you feeling? ” he gets pulled out of his thoughts by britta, who looks at him with sad eyes.

“ nervous. ”

he wasn’t sure how they were supposed to go, the last days. hell, the whole thing hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

for many years, the only thing above everything else for him was formula one. he lived, breathed and bled formula one. it was his only ambition, his true desire.

from a young talent to a four time world champion, just to end up as a failed star and ending his career at a rookie team, doing more of a consulting job than exactly racing.

he had once ruled the world, got thrown away and tried to climb his way back up, enough to realize that it wasn’t worth it and it was time to give up.

he still loved racing like it was his first day, like he still was the young sebastian vettel, bright talent who could once continue michael schumacher’s legacy. the one who everyone looked at with hopeful eyes and hearts. but it was time to give the seat to someone else who truly deserved it. a young talent like he once was.

“ don’t worry. everyone’s out there ready to support you and cheer for you one last time. no one resents you for choosing what’s best for yourself, y’know. ” britta squeezes his shoulder reassuringly and all he can do is smile appreciatively at her. britta has been nothing but his supporting rock all these years, and he couldn’t be any luckier to have her by his side. “ you haven’t even left yet but i think i saw lewis throwing away a couple tears outside, by the mercedes garage. ” sebastian chuckles as he looks away and britta smiles, feeling happy to do the same.

lewis was the hardest one to convince once sebastian announced his retirement. who would’ve thought that, who was once his biggest rival on track, would be the one to say “ he will be back. ”

sebastian now looked at lewis like one of his best mates, and he was sure the champion felt the same way.

“ well— everyone is waiting for you outside. come out once you’re ready. ” britta squeezes his shoulder one more time before leaving the space, leaving him all alone in his old driver’s room.

sebastian sighs deeply, thinking back to how it all began. how he wished that a certain person had been by his side this whole time — you.

he wasn’t mad nor resented you for walking away, he understood it. you were hurt and the knife would only cut deeper if you hadn’t ended things before he left. the last thing he wanted was for you to suffer, but maybe he had done it without realizing.

there was nothing left to do besides trying to find you once he got back home. but for that, he needed to go outside and give a final goodbye to his friends, team and thousands of fans who were patiently waiting for him.

just as he was about to leave the room, he hears excited voices on the outside and before he can do anything else, the door swings open, revealing a smiley britta.

“ calm down, b. i’m not gone yet. ” he tries to crack a joke, which only gives him back a deadpan from britta, as she shakes her head. “ is everything alright? ”

“ uh— yeah! there’s just someone here to see you. ” she smiles as she moves to the side, revealing the mysterious person behind her.

and then, the whole world around him stops moving. his breathing gets heavier. he feels his chest eating him alive as his ears ring louder and louder. if it wasn’t for all the commotion outside, he would’ve surely thought that he was dreaming.

“ hey, seb. ” there you were. in all you glory and beauty, standing there right in front of him; angelic as ever, just how he had dreamt of all these years.

you were all grown up now, slightly taller but still shorter than him. you still had that childish glint in your eyes, but you were much more mature now.

you step further into the room with sebastian still paralyzed in shock as he stares at you dumbfounded. “ schatz. ” his voice is nothing but above a whisper as he calls out for you.

“ i’ll leave the two of you alone. ” britta winks at sebastian, who doesn’t quite pay attention to her, and closes the door before walking away.

you keep your chuckles to yourself has he hasn’t moved yet since he saw you. putting all you anxiety to the side, you become the bigger person and step closer to him, involving his body into a warm hug. and just then, you both realize how much you’ve missed it during all these years.

“ and before you ask me about why i’m here, it’s pretty obvious that i’m here to see you. idiot. ” he chuckles and finally hugs you back, your sweet laugh just beside his ear.

you stay like that, in silence, just absorbing each others presence for a while. a couple tears rolling down your cheeks and sebastian finally understands it all. nothing is a goodbye forever; there’s always a hello after it. maybe he could be back one day.

“ i’m sorry i didn’t run after you that day. ” he finally breaks the silence as you both pull away with runny noses and wet cheeks. you just smile fondly at him, cupping his cheeks so you could wipe away his tears.

“ i didn’t want you to run after me. i just wanted you to stay, but that wasn’t my choice to make. ” as his blue eyes stare into yours, everything finally feels okay again, and sebastian feels like he’s ready to face it all one last time.

just as you approach his face to plant a kiss to his cheek, a distant voice breaks you away from your transe.

“ hey seb— oh, sorry. i didn’t realize you had your lady with you. ” lewis walks into the room but quickly stops on his tracks as he sees both of you together.

“ she isn’t my lady. yet. ” you just laugh as you look to each other and sebastian swears he saw some kind of blush creeping around your cheeks, even though you denied it later on.

“ uh— okay. i just wanted to let you know that we’re ready for you outside. ” lewis says quite hurriedly before looking at you with an awkward smile. “ hi, i’m— i’m lewis, by the way. ”

you shyly greet him back before sebastian speaks up. “ i’ll be there in a minute. ”

lewis only nods at him and says his goodbyes to you before running away, leaving the both you alone again.

“ you should probably go out there. they’re waiting for you. ” you mumble while turning at him, swiftly patting his shirt. a big “ danke seb ” text was plastered at the front, which made your heart warm.

“ yeah. ” he looks at you with loving eyes, but is still a bit hesitant to leave. he wants, he needs more time with you.

“ i will still be here when you’re done. ”

“ i know. ”

and right there and then, he knows exactly what he didn’t that day, by the water fountain, where all his love flourished for you.

[sourbinnie]

☆ beso.mp3 ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> fluff ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> voicemails they leave you when they miss you on tour. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> cursing ; no use of (y/n) ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> nope

a/n: short one but sweet one, hope yall like it:) haven't written "voicemails" in a while!

yo quiero que me de' otro beso

"baby, baby i miss you so fucking much. i might be a little drunk and a little needy as a treat but i can't help but think of you and i need you here. it's been too fucking long since i've last seen you even if we speak to each other every day, i can't get enough of you. i need to hold you and kiss you, feel you against me whatever way you want it to be of course. i don't know why i suddenly got the need to just be buried in your arms and for you to hold me tight, hope i can see you soon and tell you that i love you because i can't take it anymore. goodnight darling..." 

- voicemail from hyunjin.

uno de esos que tú me da'

"i need your kiss. i know it's abrupt to start a voice message like this but i've been wanting to kiss you ever since i left and i gave you the last one at the airport. i hope i get all of the kisses i deserve when i come back and that you're taking care of our children. i hope you know that i miss you so much and that even if i don't show it at times, i've been so clingy for your affection. i can't wait to cuddle you again, to hug you and not let you. like i said before, save all those kisses for me because i'm coming for them all when i get back and you will not get rid of me."

- voicemail from minho.

estar lejos de ti e' el infierno

"i'm not used to being this far away from you. maybe i'm not the most affectionate person or the one that says the most romantic things but i feel the need to show you that i still love you. i want you forever and ever, no turning back now because i knew when i found you that i would want what you make me feel for the rest of my life. right now it's hell being away and not having your embrace, your eyes looking at me or your sweet kiss on my cheek. i want to hear you say that you're proud of me after every show. i just need to hear you again or i'll go insane."

- voicemail from seungmin.

'tar cerca de ti es mi paz

"it's been stressful and i feel it even more now that we're far. i remember when i had to go to australia and i wanted to take you so bad, it's the same today. i want you here and for you to experience what i live for, what i'm passionate about and what i need. but i also need you, need your love and affection because it's the one thing that keeps me calm. when i'm burying myself in work and drowning, you're there to take my hand and i think i haven't been appreciative enough of it. so thank you, i love you to the moon and back baby."

- voicemail from chan.

y es que amo siempre que llegas

"how long till we see each other again? i want you. i wanna be with you right now yet we're so far, i don't wanna forget you so i keep reminding myself of your habits. your smile follows me everywhere i go and it shines so bright, your eyes are the only ones i look for in the crowd. i wish you could come by one day, i wanna see you there supporting me and having the time of your life with your friends. you would look so cute in our merch and with our lightstick that i'm almost getting you tickets to the next show. we'll see what i can do baby."

- voicemail from felix.

y odio cuando te vas

"i had a dream, well it was more like me remembering how we said goodbye. i fucking hated it and i don't wanna live that ever again, next time you're coming with me to every part of the world that i'll take you. i want you right beside me, i want to see you and just be captivated by your beauty because that happens every time i take a look at you. you can call me cheesy all you want but i'm so in love with you and i know we haven't talked about it but i need to buy a ring soon. spoiling the surprise? yeah but i don't care, i hope you say yes though."

- voicemail from changbin.

yo me voy contigo a matar

"i might be too young for love like a lot of people say. i might be a little too naive or too persistent but when i approached you for the first time, i knew i would do anything for you. even right now when we're in a relationship, i feel the need to please you, to love you, to show you that you're worth it because you are so much more than what you show. i didn't see a future where i would be loved but right now i can see us everywhere and i think that's the thing i miss about you the most. i'll do anything to have you here so i'll try my best to get you something, alright?"

- voicemail from jeongin.

no me dejes solo, ¿pa' dónde vas, pa' dónde vas?

"i haven't been alone in such a long time. i'm used to having your presence by my side 24/7 and now it's weird not seeing you beside me. i know i have everyone from the boys to the crew but i miss my sunshine, you know? i miss the one that keeps me going. yeah i never told you that but you're the reason i wake up every day as happy as i am. even right now the bed feels so cold without you and it's not the same as the one at home, if only i could close the distance. i think i would hug you, kiss you and love you like i haven't done before..."

- voicemail from jisung.

[vicsnook]

Moving Everywhere But On | Jake Seresin x Reader

word count: 1659

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, 18+

notes: Hey y’all! Happy New Year 🎆! Hope everyone is doing well and that your holidays were amazing!! I will try this year to regularly post Jake on Sundays as previously promised. Hope you enjoy this one and as always please don’t forget to like & reblog 🫶🏼

Moving was something you absolutely dreaded despite having done it your whole childhood due to your father’s navy career. However you thought you’d put those days behind you when you decided to date a doctor instead of a certain navy pilot. But oh how wrong you were as you watched your father and best friend load the boxes onto the truck from the house you’d once shared with your now ex-fiancé, Tom.

Setting down the key on the kitchen counter, you took one last look around what you once thought would be your future. Inevitably replaying the image of your neighbor and Tom fucking on the living room couch. Thankfully the horn of the moving truck snapped you out of the painful memory as you made your way out of the house and shut the door to that chapter, forever.

“You ready to do this, darlin’?” Jake asks quietly as you shut the truck door and settle into the seat, his hand reaching over to squeeze yours reassuringly as you weakly nod in response. A feeling of relief overtakes you as you catch sight of your dad in the moving truck following close behind you both.

—

The rest of the drive was uneventful, except for Jake’s attempts to cheer you up by singing off key. Your new apartment was small but to you it was exactly what you needed, a new beginning. Jake and your father set up your bed while you unpacked the living room which unsurprisingly didn’t take long since you’d sold a lot of your old things. All that was left to unpack was your kitchen, office, and the rest of your bedroom which you’d probably tackle tomorrow.

You waved your dad goodbye as he pulled out of the parking lot and joined Jake back up at the apartment. His back was to you and you watched quietly as he set up your nightstand, carefully putting your lamp and books in the same spot you had them before. You felt a tinge of regret for having turned him down all those years ago all because you didn’t want to deal with the Navy life and craved stability.

You’d loved Jake since the moment he sat next to you in Spanish class in high school and yet you gave it all up, just for everything to blow up in your face in the end. He must’ve sensed you looking since he turned towards you and shot you one of his signature half smiles making your heart flutter.

“You’re just gonna keep staring or are you going to help me out here?” He teases as you lend him a hand to help him up. The distance between your bodies becoming almost non-existent now. Backing up you stuttered out that you were going to shower, hurrying for the bathroom.

Leaning against the closed bathroom door you willed your heart to slow-down. 4 years was not enough to stop loving Jake Seresin and you were overcome with that currently. The hot water did little to soothe your thoughts about wanting to feel Jake’s lips on yours.

The cold air had you shivering for your towel as soon as you stepped out of the shower, only to realize you didn’t grab one. “Jake! Could you bring me a towel please?” You holler, but get no response. Peeking your head out the door you don’t see him either.

Figuring maybe he stepped out you have the lousy idea to make a run for the hall towel closet, only to stumble into Jake as soon as you open the door, his hand holding the towel you called for. Your eyes lock with his and you can feel your cheeks growing red with embarrassment as you take the towel from his outstretched hand and wrap yourself around it.

“Why didn’t you answer when I called for you?” You ask, trying to hide the nerves in your voice. Reminding yourself that it’s just Jake, which also seems to be the problem, that it is just Jake. “Sorry I wasn't thinking straight.” He shrugs, to which you nod and he puts one hand on the back of his neck which he only does when he’s nervous. The awkward silence growing thicker by the second but you can’t seem to snap out of it.

“Well, I should shower too, I left my phone in the living room so you can doordash us some food. You know the code.” He says, finally breaking the silence and turning around to go grab a towel before you can answer. The feeling of awkwardness was not something that you were familiar with around him but you try to shrug it off as you grab his phone to order food.

It’s not until Jake comes out of the bathroom with only a towel hanging around his waist that you realize you’re also still only wearing a towel. You can’t help but stare at his toned chest and muscular arms, longing to feel them under your hands and as he makes his way towards you, your breath catching in your throat.

“Be a doll and pass me my bag, sweetheart?” He asks coming to stand in front of you. His waist lining up to your face as you mentally curse yourself for choosing what feels like a very low couch. “Honey?” He takes your chin between his thumb and finger and turns your head up to look at him.

His gorgeous forest green eyes stare into yours and you can’t seem to form any coherent words. But at once you’re saved by the doorbell. Snapping back into reality you spring up from the couch, nearly falling over if it wasn’t for Jake catching you and steadying you in his arms. But you have no time to ponder about the action as the doorbell rings again.

You open the door and are grateful that the driver is now down the hall and had left your food on the doorstep. Jake’s still standing by the couch as you set the food down on the table, his eyes watching your every move. “Are you just gonna keep staring, Lieutenant?” You say playfully, hoping thebpet name still has the same effect it once did. His face turns up into that cocky smirk as he smoothly replies. “I thought you knew what happens when you play with fire, dolly.” Your flace flushes as you walk towards him, not stopping until you’re once again face to face with him.

Trying to seem confident you step impossibly closer to him, putting one hand on his chest before replying “Why don’t you teach me, Hangman?”

His hand grabs onto your waist and you know there’s no turning back. Maybe this is exactly what you need. “I don’t want to be just some rebound to you” He whispers, your lips nearly touching at the action. “You could never be a rebound Jacob, not when I never stopped loving you.” You reply, and you’ve never been more sure of anything as you close the space between you both.

His lips were softer than you remembered as he kissed you softly like you could break at any moment. You tugged on his hair causing him to grunt, granting your tongue access into his mouth. His hands squeezed your ass while you bit his bottom lip and you could feel yourself getting wetter as he pushed you against the wall.

You could see the hunger in his eyes as you pulled away and he went for that spot right under your ear that drove you crazy. The sound of his name leaving your lips was enough to make him lift you up and have you wrap your legs around him.

He carefully walks over to the couch and sits down with you still on top of him and you rock back and forth on his cock as he swirls his tongue around your nipple. The friction of his cock on your clit feels heavenly but you want more, you need more.

“Jake, more, please,” You beg into his ear, his eyes gleaming at your request. “Are you still on birth control, baby?” He asks, as you continue to rock against his cock. “Mhmm” You moan in response and that’s all it takes for him to lift you up and line himself with your entrance.

He slowly leads you down, letting you get adjusted to his length. The feeling of him stretching you open is almost enough to send you over the edge. “You’re taking my cock so good, doll.” He praises, his accent making you swoon as you reach the hilt of his cock.

You dig your nails into his biceps as he begins to thrust up into you making you lean forward into him. “Fa-a-s-te-r” You manage to utter as his thumb presses on to your clit and his pace starts to increase.

Pleasure is washing over you, and you can feel your legs start to shake as he thrusts faster and harder into you. Moans and groans fill your apartment as you both reach for that high. “God baby you’re so tight, are you gonna cum for me?”

His words are enough to push you over the edge. Hunching forward onto his neck as he continues to thrust into you seeking his own release. “Fuck baby, you feel so good,” he grunts, you lift your head slightly and kiss his neck in response. No one could ever send you over the edge this quickly.

His legs trembled as he sloppily thrusted and reached his own high. Pulling back you caught his lips on yours, tenderly kissing him until you both pulled away for air. “It’s always been you Seresin, I’m sorry I was too stupid to accept that.” You whisper against his neck, he hugs you tighter to him before responding, “Nothing to be sorry for darlin’. We’ve got a lot of time left to make up for it. But how about we start by cleaning ourselves up and eating?”

“Absolutely. And how about round two after?” You answer cheekily, earning yourself a smack to the ass from the man you’re glad to never have moved on from.

[feelingf1]

reunited - charles leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x female reader

summary: charles was the boy next door for a lot of your childhood, that was until he left one day without saying goodbye. you decide to go to the Monaco gp, but will he recognize you?

authors note: this sounded way better in my head, but i wanted to post something since I haven’t in a while.

enjoy!

—————

17 Years Ago:

You rushed down the stairs as fast as your little feet could carry you, grabbing your coat off the hook as you reached the bottom. You had spent all day watching out of your window, waiting for Charles, your next door neighbor and best friend, to come home from his week-long trip to Spain.

“Mama, Charles is home! Can I go see him?” You called out to your mother, who was tidying the kitchen. She smiled softly at you. “I don’t know love, they’ve had a long day full of traveling, they’re probably tired.”

You weren’t going to give up that easily. “But Mama, Charles said I could go see him as soon as he came home. Please? I haven’t seen him in like years.” Your mother shook her head, laughing. “Okay, you can go. But if Pascale is not in the mood to have you over, come right back. Okay?”

You ran over to your mother and hugged her leg tight. “Yes, thanks Mama.” and you practically sprinted out the door, not stopping until you rang Charles’ doorbell.

Pascale opened the door and called up the stairs for Charles to come down. “Y/N, I missed you.” he screamed and hugged you tightly. You returned the hug, grinning from ear to ear. “I missed you too. Where did you go?”

“I went to a karting race in Spain, and I nearly won.” The pride was extremely visible across his face as he held out the photos that his older brother, Lorenzo, took whilst he was driving.

“I got a silver medal, come and see.” The two of you joined hands, sprinting up the steps into Charles’ bedroom. He held out the medal and you took it into your hands.

“Charlie, this is so cool! You’re going to be the best driver ever when you’re older.” He smiled, “I hope so. I really want to driver for Ferrari when I’m older.”

You felt your heart drop a bit after hearing this. You thought that the two of you would live on the Monaco coast forever, like you had promised.

“But Charlie, Ferrari is in Italy, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“But then we wouldn’t live together here.”

“I can live here too, or you can move to Italy with me. Don’t worry Y/N, I will never leave you.”

You looked up at him, “Promise?” He nodded, “Promise.” “Okay good.” you said, “You can’t break a promise.”

“I won’t. Now come here and look at the photos of the beach.” He said as he grabbed your hand and jumped onto the bed with you, photos flying everywhere.

a few months later

As the bus dropped you off at your gate, you sprinted towards the door, rushing to ask your mother for permission to go and see Charles. He hadn’t been in school all week, but it was wintertime, and you’d just assumed he was sick.

You rushed into the kitchen. “Mama, can I-”

You met your mother sitting at the kitchen table, with a sad smile on her face. “Y/N, come sit, we have to talk.”

You threw your bag on the floor and sat into the chair, your mother looked very upset, which worried you as she was normally an extremely happy and bright person.

“Pascale called me this morning Y/N. She had to move back to her home in Italy, her parents are very sick and she needs to help them out.”

You felt upset, Pascale was practically your second mother, but you were happy that you still had Charles.

“That’s sad, but at least Charlie is still here.”

Your mother reached out and grabbed your hand, stroking it softly. “No, Y/N. Pascale took Charles, Arthur and Lorenzo with her. They all moved to Italy.”

You burst into tears. You couldn’t believe that you had lost your best friend, and he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“But Mama.” You cried, through sobs. “Why didn’t he say goodbye?”

A tear rolled down her cheek, she hated seeing you so upset. “It was so sudden Y/N. She didn’t tell Charles or Arthur because she didn’t want to make you all sad. But don’t worry, Pascale said that he’ll write letters to you and maybe come visit you, okay?”

You crawled into your mother’s lap, still sobbing into her soft jumper. “I didn’t want him to go. He promised he’d never leave me Mama.”

“I know pet, but this was something nobody can control.” She said, stroking your hair. “Come on, let’s watch a movie to make you feel better.”

She wrapped you up in your arms and carried you to the living room.

“I can’t wait to get his letters Mama. They’ll be so exciting.”

You waited day after day, but the letters never came.

17 Years Later:

You grabbed the white blazer that was hanging in your wardrobe and put it on with a green top underneath. Today you were going to the Monaco GP with your two best friends, who had managed to get their hands on paddock passes.

As you curled your hair and did your makeup, you couldn’t help but think about Charles. He wasn’t just your home hero, but your childhood best friend, who you still sorely missed many years later.

You tried everything to reach out to him, sending him messages, letters, posting tweets, absolutely everything, but he probably just thought you were another crazy fan, which broke your heart.

Your friends entered your room. “Ready to go?”

You nodded, grabbing your bag from your table.

The atmosphere at the race was incredible as always. This was the first year though that you weren’t watching from a balcony at your friends house, you were actually in the paddock, and it was incredible.

“So, are you gonna try and speak to Charles?” One of your friends asked, knowing the history between you two.

“No, no. He won’t remember me, and he’ll probably think I’m just some lunatic or something.” It hurt you to say it, but you knew it was true. Charles was driving for Ferrari, there’s no way that his childhood best friend was still on his mind.

You headed to the bar and got a couple of drinks, before heading to the paddock to see all of the garages of the drivers. It felt so surreal, seeing all of this in real life.

As you walked down the paddock with your friends, you managed to grab pictures with a few of the drivers, until you headed down to the Ferrari garage and saw him, you saw Charles.

Your friends nudged you, encouraging you to even just say hi. You felt nerves and panic rise in your chest, but pushed them down and did it anyways.

You smiled broadly and waved. “Hi Charles!” You called out to him. He looked at you, returning a thin-lipped smile and a wave and continued on his way, stopping for photos and autographs, but not stopping to turn back around for you.

That was it. He had forgotten you. You knew it was a high possibility he wouldn’t remember you, but that didn’t stop you from hoping for a fairytale story, where he’d remember you, swoop you into his arms, and apologize for everything. Instead you were hit with the reality, and that caused tears to stream down your cheeks.

Your friends grabbed your arms and led you out of the paddock and towards your seats. You still cheered Charles on, after all, he was your home hero, even after what just happened. At the end of the race, Charles finished P2, and the whole crowd, including you, erupted in cheers, even if you were tired and heartbroken.

Your friends turned to you. “So, are you coming to watch the music acts?” You were a sucker for concerts, but the thought of wrapping yourself up in your bedsheets feeling heartbroken was much more appealing.

“No, but please, you guys go. I’ll be fine.” You hugged them goodbye and headed home to your apartment overlooking the coast. You threw off your clothes, climbing into a hoodie and joggers, not even having the energy to take your makeup off. You curled into bed, staring at the photos on your wall, when your eyes landed on one in particular.

It was a photo of your 8th birthday. You were wearing a pink princess dress, and Charles was stood beside you, wrapping his arms around you. There was chocolate cake smeared across both of your faces and you were laughing. You felt the tears starting again, wishing you could go back to those moments, wishing that Charles had kept his promise.

You were moments away from falling to sleep, when you heard your doorbell ring. You were originally going to ignore it, but the repeated ringing declared that this person wasn’t going away until you opened the door.

You headed to the door and your mouth fell open when you saw who was standing there.

“Charles?” You asked.

He stepped in without saying nothing and engulfed you into a hug, which you immediately returned. You started to sob into his jumper.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You managed to croak out. He held you out so he could look at your face.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for everything, for not recognizing you straight away, for leaving you all those years ago, for breaking our promise. I’m so sorry.”

You held your hand up to his face, cupping it gently. “It’s okay. You had to go. We couldn’t do anything to stop that. How did you find me?”

“I thought you looked really familiar when you waved at me earlier, it was playing on my mind all day. I seen your friends again and I asked them and they said that it was you. They told me you came hoping I would recognize you, and when I didn’t, it broke your heart, so I came right over.” Tears fell from his eyes too, which he tried to wipe away quickly.

You hugged him tight again. “I thought I’d never see you again. I’m so proud of you Charles, for achieving your dreams. I’ve followed you every step of the way, I want you to know that.” You whispered softly into his ear.

“Move in with me.” He said, out of nowhere.

“Huh?”

“Y/N, I mean it. I’ve found you now and I never want to let you go again. I don’t want to break our promise again either. Move in with me. Or I can move in with you here in Monaco, we can-”

You cut off his rambling. “Yes, yes I’ll move in with you Charlie. We’ll never lose each other again.”

You grinned at each other from ear to ear. This was it, your fairytale ending, and it was better than ever.

[shubblelive]

— EMPTY APARTMENTS

summary : wilbur gets to your apartment and finds you and all your belongings gone. you didn’t even say goodbye.

genre : angst -> fluff (“angst” might be a strong word)

warnings : sleep depravation (it’s bed time, wil. you have school in the morning), swearing, wilbur almost has a panic attack

pairing : cc!wilbur soot x reader

pronouns : none (you/yours)

featuring : cc!wilbur soot, lovejoy (mentioned)

word count : 987

note : i'm not the proudest of this, but here you go anyway.

Wilbur hadn’t slept in days. 

It had been a lot, all at once, and he was struggling. He had just got back from America and Dave was already discussing another tour after their next single. He loved travelling and performing; it was what he was meant to be doing. Hearing people scream his silly little lyrics back at him while practically high on adrenaline was a feeling Wilbur wouldn’t be able to replicate with a million streams (as much as he loved them). 

He’d been overwhelmingly anxious in a way that couldn’t be halted by breathing techniques, but he would try his best. Part of it was flying, which he knew shouldn’t have been an active issue given that the song wasn’t even finished yet. What they had been performing was about 90% complete, and another thing giving him grief was wondering whether people would like it. It was different from his first two EPs, and Wilbur knew even the most loyal of fan bases could hate songs. 

That, combined with his hair being everywhere, wasn’t even the cause of the gnawing feeling in his abdomen. That one was simple, and he knew it couldn’t be solved. He missed you.

The tour had been short and he didn’t remember most of it, but he remembered hardly being able to sleep without the feeling of you on top of his left arm. It was worse when he was in the US, and he couldn’t even call you before bed. Of course, he was back now, and he’d been smothering you in affection to the point where you’d had to beg him to let you go and film.

He had been at the studio all day working on the rest of the EP; Wilbur had grown frustrated with just working on that one song when it clearly wasn’t sounding right. It was almost there, but it consumed his every waking moment and he needed a break. Whether it was the song itself, or the music video, or the concept art. The whole thing was just hurting his head, and the feeling was getting worse. 

His eyes were heavy in the taxi ride home, and he’d fought the urge to fall asleep. He was heading for your flat; it was closer. He had a certain paranoia since he’d gotten more known about people knowing where he lived, so he always gave them a random address near where he lived but far enough away that it eased his anxieties. Trudging down the street, drops of rainwater in his hair, he pulled up your texts.

I’ll see you tonight, love, he’d sent early that morning. Yours or mine?

Ha, you had replied.

He pulled out his keyring, finding the key to your place that he’d held onto since forever. It stuck in the lock, like it always did and he closed his eyes as he turned the knob, dropping the keys into the bowl with a clatter and turning on the lights.

The flat was empty. There was still furniture, but all your stuff was gone. His keys lay there lamely on the floor, he was so exhausted he hadn’t even realised you’d taken the end table. Your shelves were bare, the counters were empty; hell even your streaming setup was gone.

You’d left, and you hadn’t even told him.

Was it something he had done? How long had you been planning this? It wouldn’t have been hard to orchestrate, you’d spent most of your nights at his place recently. Where had you gone? Maybe he could find you. At the very least get some closure. 

He called you. Three times. His phone fell from his hand and he lent back against the door. You were the only thing that wasn’t causing him immense amounts of stress, and you were gone. There had been signs, surely. He hadn’t seen any, but there had to have been some.

Did he forget an anniversary? No, none that he could think of. Fuck. What had he done?

He couldn’t stay there, in your empty flat. It was too small, too full and too empty and he stumbled out, through the hallway, down the stairs and onto the street. It was late, the streets were nearly empty but it was too loud. The street lights flickered and Wilbur kicked a lampost. 

It didn’t move. How annoying. 

It took him nearly an hour to get home, somewhat because he continued to try and kick inanimate objects (mostly because he realised he forgot his phone and had to go back). This time, when he put his keys on the end table they fell resolutely onto the end table. 

He flicked the light switch. They turned off.

Why were they already on? Whatever, he probably left them on accidentally. He shed his coat, throwing it over the back of the couch and face-planting onto it. The cushion groans underneath him.

“You ‘right?” Your hand found its way into his hair and his breath was strong against your neck. “Will? Everything okay?”

“You weren’t there,” His voice broke. “I went to your apartment and all your stuff was gone.” His arms were wrapped around you so hard his knuckles were turning white. “I’m sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.” You could feel tears leaking onto your collarbone and you clutched him back.

“Are you alright? Have you still not been sleeping?” Your eyes, warm with concern, met him. “Will, love?”

“I’m sorry.” He kept repeating.

“We’re okay. I promise. I’m moving in here, remember?” your voice was soft, and he couldn’t stop crying.

“Fuck.” His eyes were clamped shut. “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot.”

“You need a break,” you corrected gently. “You’re overworking yourself, Wilbur.”

It took him a while to calm down, and soon he was nodding in your embrace. “Need you.” That night, Wilbur slept better than he had in months and in the morning you were still there. 

[despairots]

PIECE OF LOVE! — till ivan | alien stage.

till said he liked you, but he always looked at mizi whenever she walks past. maybe if he looked back, he would notice you. waiting, staring, wanting it to be your turn before you finally looked the other way.

content warning | character deaths, swearing, unrequited love, brief cannibalistic metaphors, love triangles, male reader but not mentioned (they/them prns).

till never looked at you, if he did (which is rare), it would be because of you talking to him just to get his attention. despite him saying he liked you when you both were young, he never gave you anymore attention once mizi arrived. till never talked to her, always expecting her to look back at him without asking her for it.

maybe that’s what you felt when someone you love is looking everywhere but you. you were always there for him, he knew too, always comforting him in his darkest times, praising him when he did a good job at his practice, making him gifts so he can be happy, but not once did he return it.

does he appreciate it? yes. returns your love? no.

till doesn’t know it but maybe if he looked back, he would see who was waiting for him all this time. it was only a matter of time before they turned away from him too when he finally looks back, and you were just waiting for you to eventually give up on him.

praying, wanting, needing for it to happen. if only things could be that easy, you would’ve been a lot more free. instead, you’re bounded to be hopeless forever, no matter how many times your alien owners tried to cheer you up. gifts, clothes, toys, stuff you needed to live until this day, it would never work.

it was until recently, at the rip age of 17, that you finally grew up and matured. turning around and living the life of a young star, your owners busting their asses for you to live a life of a celebrity. it felt good to finally be free, maybe you missed being chained down to till, after all, you still cared for him.

you wanted him to be apart of you, you still wanted him carnally, sinking your teeth into him, almost like you could smell his flesh from miles away. all that you concluded that you wanted to let go so bad, was that you still loved him.

till never looked at you.

“ [name]? “

ivan’s touch on your cheek woke you up, realizing you slept on a couch, uncomfortably so from the neck in your pain when you sat up. his black pupils that had a hint of red stared right back into yours as he kneeled infront of you while cradling your hands.

“ivan..?” you trailed off before realizing he won his match, making you softly smile, “congratulations.” ivan nodded back in acknowledgment before he stood up, pulling you up with him to bring you into a hug, putting your arms around him as you buried yourself in his neck. you were lucky ivan was here with you, loving you like till could never bring up the courage to do.

now, as you raise up your platform, dressed in white with the boy you once called yours beside you, a look of concern glistening in his eyes, wondering why you weren’t looking at him like you used too. all you were doing is staring at the ground, like you lost the will to win.

till never looked at you.

watching ivan die, just to save till with no regrets while giving him a goodbye kiss as he fell to ground made you realize something, ivan looked at both till and you, just to die for both of you. when he died, you died alongside him, now till has to go up against you.

till watched you walk up the stage, wanting to get this round over and down before he followed you like a lost dog. he never heard you sing before, he never listened to your rounds or music, he was too busy with his but once he heard you live, you sounded ethereal, pulling him into your downfall.

he didn’t notice that he was being your back up vocals before you grabbed his hand, mic just inches away from your lips, did he start his singing part. till noticed how dead your eyes looked, how cold your skin felt, and how you harshly let his hand drop yours grasp.

his eyes kept following your figure, noticing how smooth and soft your movements were, aswell as how soft your voice was being when you looked at him whenever he looked away from you. despite everything, you could never hate him.

you, who didn’t wish him harm.

you, who wished he looked back at you.

and you, who didn’t want to win.

because of that, you grabbed his wrist to pull him into a short kiss, pulling away until he pulled you back in, shocking you more than anything. a part of you wanted you to believe that he was only doing it because he missed mizi, that you were just filling in the role of her until he pulled away.

a sad smile on his face as his lips moved, saying words that you weren’t able to hear, there was a ringing in your ears, the scoreboard showing that you won. till managed to catch the look of disbelief when your eyes went back to him, he was glad that the glint in your eyes were back, just not the way he didn’t want it to come back.

the tight feeling on his neck disappeared, reaching up to grasp at it did he realize you placed it on yours. no, no! he’s already lost mizi, ivan, and now, you? it’s like the world didn’t want him to be happy with the amount of blood splattered on his hands.

your smile, and ivan’s smile will now haunt his dreams, watching your body collapse onto the ground next to him with your blood on his cheeks did he yell out of despair, cradling your body close to him as the crowd watched in disbelief.

till never looked at you.

he always did, whenever you weren’t looking in that case.

“i’m sorry for not loving you enough.”

[jasonsmirrorball]

the road not taken looks real good now [669]

gn!reader, exes to ?, hopeful ending, light angst, a tribute to the piece i wrote in 2022 inspired by tis the damn season and hometown loves

He doesn’t ask you to stay, no matter how badly you wish he would. And no matter how bad the words linger on the tip of your tongue, you don’t ask him to wait.

The thought of him like that, wrapped up and in love with someone that isn’t you, makes your stomach turn cruelly, but still you say nothing. Bit by bit, you pack up the life you’ve always known – how do you manage to fit years into a single suitcase, you wonder bitterly. It seems like a condemnation – a sign that you were always meant for something else, something not Gotham and her grey, or the tourmaline eyed man who watches over her.

Jason sees you off – puts you on the train like it’s one of those old war movies and stays on the platform until you can no longer see him, the carriage pulling suddenly into the dark tunnel that’s meant to carry you to your great destiny. It sits in your stomach, bitter and mournful. 

He doesn’t kiss you goodbye. You don’t ask. Neither of you say a thing, but the seconds count down, closer and closer to your departure. The station is busy, thrumming with a restless energy that isn’t entirely your own. You watch over his shoulder as a woman rushes, laden with bags and clutching a small child’s hand, into the open doors of the same train you need to get on. Another man shoulders past a group of teenagers, a phone clattering to the ground and a chorus of yells going up.

Somewhere in the chaos, his hand finds yours. It’s a pitiful replacement for all the words that go unsaid, and you can feel – not for the first time since you’d decided to leave – your heart cleave painfully, another fragment falling to the greying tiles at your feet and shattering. At this rate, you’re unsure how much of it will be left by the time you get to where you’re going. 

The seconds flip closer, closer. A squeeze, and then your hand is falling away. Come home. I love you. I miss you already. Don’t go. 

He says nothing, and you wish he would. 

Jason watches you go.

You stay away for a year. A year turns into two and somehow, despite it all, the years continue to pass. You’re twenty six the next time you set foot in Gotham, bundling into the back of your dad’s car when he picks you up outside the airport. 

It feels strange, driving down these roads. The cold bites, even through the rolled up windows and blanket that’s been in the backseat since you were five. You clutch it closer, eyes gazing out. You think if you stare hard enough, you’ll see the ghosts of your youth.

At street corners, under awnings and under lamp posts flickering to life – they’re everywhere. You don’t dare to breathe old names, but you’re suddenly eighteen once more, tired old heart beating once more for the one that haunts every memory. In dreams, in constellations and first kisses – there he remains.

And then, when you walk into that damn dive bar, address flashing on your phone and confirming that yes, this is where your friends had wanted to meet –

All roads inevitably lead back to him. This is a truth he must have known, you think, when you lock eyes with the ones that have haunted you for more than half a decade and they crease at the corners in pleasure.

Jason rounds the counter. 

“You’re back,” he says. You, dazed, dizzy, anguished and lovesick, can only nod. Blue-green threatens to swallow you whole – to keep you, forever. Fingers you’ve not touched in an age tangle with your own and warmth blooms through your fingertips.

“Will you stay,” he asks, adding, belatedly, “for a drink?”

You squeeze his hand. The ache in your chest mellows – real, it whispers. Real, and here, and – yours? 

“I’ll stay,” you murmur and his mouth curls into a shadowed smile, quietly pleased. 

it always leads to you in my hometown is one of those fics i think about a lot for no damn reason. i don't particularly consider it one of my best works but it's so dear to me and i think the reunification of love, the return home and the bitterness of parting is just so….it does my head in (in the best way)

i got to see the song that inspired this fic (and others that provided the soundtrack to SO MANY of my fics) live a few weeks ago and it was such an incredible experience. i don't know, folklore and evermore are just so precious and dear to my heart. i love the stories in those albums and it made me so inexplicably happy being able to see the songs that inspired these fics live and thinking about jason and the memories i've made writing these silly little fics.

anyway i hope you enjoyed this little piece, i hope you're doing well and eating well. i love you

[ilys00ga]

FOREVER, YOU & ME.

pairing: yoongi x oc

genre: yandre!yoongi, doctor!yoongi, patient!reader, doctor/hospital au, one-shot.

warning: mentions of drugs (?), obsessive and manipulative behavior, non-consensual, use of pet names.

A/N: tried something new :) really couldn't stop myself from writing again. sorry.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

pitch dark night sky, bright colorful lights drowning the crowded streets of Seoul and fireworks painting the canvas of the sky. it's New Years Eve, everyone is outside. people playing here, others dancing there. even those who prefer staying inside restaurants to enjoy the presence of their loved ones in the first moments of the year.

however the celebration is, everyone is doing something on the streets of Seoul tonight.

one hour post midnight, and the hospital is still alive and cold, as usual.

"I left some other reports and important papers on your desk, I'll be helping Dr. choi for the rest of the night." nurse Jeon tells yoongi as they stand at the reception.

"are there any news on the missing patient?" nurse Jeon asks.

"nope. it's been three days and still no trace." the receptionist answers.

"that's weird. she was getting discharged right before disappearing." nurse Jeon's brows furrow. "poor girl suffered here for months and never got a break."

"maybe she just decided to leave quietly with no warning." yoongi hums casually. it's no rare case to have patients leaving the hospital with no words, as soon as their treatment ends. some are just impatient as that.

"she was friendly though, hyung. I expected a small goodby, to be honest." yoongi snorts with an eye roll at the younger's pout. he is naturally social, this one, he likes to befriend the patients to make them feel as comfortable as their healing process requires, and maybe a tiny bit more.

yoongi, on the other hand, is less social and more professional. he likes to focus only on his job and to smoothly terminate his missions.

"she was your patient, though, are you not even slightly worried, hyung?" he added.

"she's probably having a blast now, Jeon, it's new year's eve in the outside world. now, you get going." with a last pat on the nurse's back, yoongi bids his goodbye and leaves to the upper floors.

he passes by sleepy rooms, walking through long, white corridors with his hands tucked in the pockets of his white, neat knee-length lab coat. there's barely any people at this hour in the hospital, so any loud noise can be ten times louder in the thick, silent air of the night. he hums a random melody he grew fond of in the past couple of days as quietly as he can.

finally, he reaches a door. twisting the knob and entering his much warmer office, in which he barely lets anyone save from his nurses and very few collegue-friends.

unwanted presence means unwanted curiosity, which leads to unwanted questions and feelings.

ever so quietly, he removes the stethoscope hanging from the back of his neck and down to his chest, then puts it atop the desk. he always avoides touching the silver parts because of how annoyingly cold they usually get, despite the awake radiators that are distributed everywhere in the building.

bending towards one of the drawers, he opens it, pulls a key and a filled needle out, then heads to open another door inside the office. a door strictly forbidden for anyone except from himself.

every time the very few people that are allowed inside the office ask about that door, he says it's the private room in which he uses for resting and personal time when his shift hours get crazy.

a wave of relief washes over him upon stepping in.

the space is almost empty, limited in furniture. there's darkness, a small lamp on a small night stand right next to a bed, a heater, and there's a body.

someone is lying on that bed.

you are lying on that bed. small form, unmoving limbs, resting pale face, closed eyes, dark circles, dry lips... it would've been easy to assume that your soul had already left and rose high up to the skies if it weren't for the faint raise and fall of your torso.

a low melody, the same one he was humming a few minutes ago, can be heard as well. almost non-audible, not to grab any external attention or... disturb your deep, deep slumber.

yoongi smiles as he slowly sits on the edge of the bed, so careful as if you'd wake up at the smallest of mouvements.

the faint yellow lights of the lamp shone gently on your face, making him lift his hand to caress you skin and stare. thoughtless and content. just staring.

a few moments pass by and he snaps out of his hase, remembering what needs to be done first and before anything else.

he grabs the needle with one hand and holds your wrist in the other. he's so gentle with his touch. so gentle as if to apologize for what he's been doing to you.

"it's time for your shots, pertal." he whispers to your unconscious body. "I'm helping you sleep soundlessly, with no worries or corrupt thoughts."

the needle stabs your skin and pushes the drug into you vein.

"it's been three days, my love. I love having you here, you know?" he pulls the needle out and puts it in his pocket.

"people are looking for you. they want to take you away from me. like you wanted to leave and go away.. far away.. and leave.. I won't let that happen." his face eyes grow sharper as his words become saltier, but his voice stands soft and calm.

he lays down to face your stomach and hugs you. he hugs you tight and close, afraid you'd jump out of the bed and run away at any given moment. as if you could even lift a finger in your condition.

yoongi closes his eyes shut and inhales deeply, allowing your scent to settle into his lungs, locking it there and in his brain as well so he could remember it when he's away from you, doing whatever shitty thing his job makes him do during his shift.

"I can't let you go. I know you're a good little thing. nothing will change between us as long as you behave and stay with me. like this. forever."

"it's you and me forever, darling."

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 5 - jb

Song recommendation for today's update: Tink - Toxic

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The rest of the night went without you even noticing, mostly because of the extra drinks you had after telling the girls about the little selfie with Gio. And as you supposed, they loved how well played it was.

Another thing you could still remember vividly while you managed to open your eyes was that even after you said goodbye, you encountered Gio once again on the dance floor.

You danced together for a couple of songs. It was obvious you were having fun; Gio always behaved like an absolute sweetheart, super respectful, and even though you knew some flirting was there, he never made it obvious. He was good company. 

Now you were fully awake, having a dejávu when you realized Mia and Nikki were sleeping in the same position from a few days ago. Odd.

“I can't believe we partied until four A.M” Mia's voice, sounding raspy as always when she drank too much, made you notice that she was also waking up. “Now I'm seeing the consequences of my actions.”

“Yeah...” You agreed, feeling how your body was heavier than usual, making it difficult to move. So you didn't. “I think I'll live here forever, I don't have the energy to get up. Not today, not ever again."

“What time is it?” Nikki whispered, still wrapped in two covers. You didn't even had two covers on your bed the day prior... Where did she find them?

“Hold on...” Mia moved around the bed for a moment before letting herself fall again into the mattress. “Oh God, it's 3 p.m”

The three of you gasped before laughing. Yep, that seemed reasonable.

“We need to eat something or else.” You said after a while, making sure none of them had fallen asleep again. “Are any of you craving some shawarma?”

“Hell yeah.” Nikki said, still wrapped around the covers, but fully awake as far as you could tell.

“Nice, let me grab my phone.” While getting up, you started to see the disaster the three of you caused around the bedroom. Your clothes were everywhere, the bathroom door was fully open and even being far away you could notice that three drunks were there. “Great...”

You didn't have the energy to care for cleaning right now. The bags were strangely safe, carefully placed by your vanity. Priorities. Luckily, all your stuff was still in your purse, which was a miracle of its own. The only strange thing was your phone, which was buzzing like crazy. The battery was almost gone, but you could see the many notifications popping up second after second.

“What the...?” You took it, fearing the worst. “Gio's story...” Now that you thought about it, maybe being posted and tagged on a famous footballer's insta story wasn't the smartest option when you wanted to keep a low profile. “Fuck my life...” While you unlocked it, Nikki and Mia were out of bed, looking at you with curiosity.

“What happened?” Mia said, arching an eyebrow.

“I think I just exposed myself to the world.” You said, gasping when you saw that most of the notifications were from Instagram.

"What do you mean "exposing yourself”? You didn’t post a nude picture, did you?” Nikki questioned, getting out of the covers.

“I think that’ll be easier to fix if that was the case…” You unlocked your phone, trying to calm down and not succumb to the rising panic you were starting to feel.

Tons of notifications were still coming, but you decided to go directly to Instagram and find out what kind of disaster was starting to unfold. Your notifications were up to at least 5.000 only in mentions and following requests. Thank God you kept your IG private. Before your trembling fingers made a mistake, you went to your DMs, which were even worse than the notifications because not only hundreds of people were asking who you were, but also sending you videos and photos. With a deep breath you started to open the recent ones. 

“What’s going on? You look pale.” Mia got up from the bed, taking your arm carefully. “Come on, sit before you pass out.” 

“I feel like I’m about to…” You sat between the two of them, letting them see your phone screen. They peeked over your shoulders, gasping when they saw the amount of DMs. 

Some of the messages were just things like “Are you Gio’s new girlfriend?” or “Are you friends with Gio? Give him my number lmao” while others were worse, not because they were threatening you or anything similar, but because they mentioned Jobe’s twitter photos or that people were sharing videos of you dancing with Gio last night. 

You went through some of them, feeling more and more anguished by the minute. 

“Is this you with Gio????” 

“Oh my god, are you dating both Jobe AND Gio?”

“Are you the same girl from the photos of the twitter threat?” 

“You look kinda similar to Jobe’s new girlfriend”

“It’s giving clout chaser”

“Are we seeing the rise of the next WAG?” 

“You’re pretty asf”

“Omg, I could swear on my mom I’ve seen you before in Dortmund with Judeeeee”

The last caught your attention more than you wanted. It wasn’t that impossible, since you did go out for walks with Jude after his practice or drive him around town when you were visiting. But back then it was impossible for the few people that saw the two of you together to figure out who you were. Now, with your face out in the open, maybe more people could start recognizing you.

God knows what could happen.

The absolute worst part of all this was people recognizing you from that stupid Twitter threat. You weren’t dating Jobe, but who was going to believe you? It was better to stay silent while figuring out what to do from now on. 

“Look, someone’s calling you.” You blinked, coming back to the real world. You didn’t even notice that you spaced out for a bit. 

The screen read “Unknown number”

“You take that, I’ll see what’s all this fuss about.” Nikki got up, reaching for her bag. 

“I’ll go make us some coffee.” Mia gave you a look that said I’m sorry.

“I’ll help you with that” Nikki almost ran after Mia, giving you that look of sympathy you hated before leaving. The door closed behind them with a click. Now you were alone with this call. 

You didn’t know why, but you knew it was Jude. 

“Hello?” You picked it up before it went to voicemail, regretting it almost immediately. 

“I’ve been calling you all morning! The fuck is happening? Why are you on Gio’s IG?” Yep, that was Jude’s voice. 

You didn’t know what you were expecting when the first call after the breakup happened. Feeling excited? Hopeful? Happy? None of that was happening at the moment; you were pissed. Because how dare he call after weeks of silence to confront you about what you did as a single woman?

“Excuse me?” You said, feeling your blood boil. “Why would I give you an explanation?”

“Because you’re my-” 

“Your what, Jude?” Your voice remained firm while your heart shattered all over again. Why was he doing this? “Your ex-girlfriend? Yes, I remember. I’m not your problem anymore, why are you calling me?”

“You’re still my friend, you know that” Ouch. “You didn’t even told me you were going out with freaking Gio.” Why was he mad at that?

“And why should I inform you about that?” You wouldn’t admit you just happened to run into Gio yesterday.

"Because now people think you're his fucking girlfriend!"

“So what?! You didn’t let me know when you went out partying and when you made out with some girl a week ago, did you? Do you even care if people assume that's your fucking girlfriend?” 

The line fell in an awkward silence for a few seconds. You almost laughed. 

“How do you know about that?” At least he didn’t try to deny it.

“Why does it matter?” You avoided answering him. “You’re acting like a hypocrite. Why are you calling me? To make me feel bad about moving on and having fun with my friends, just as you did a week after you broke up with me?” 

“That’s not what-” 

“You know what? I don’t really care what you are trying to do here. Don’t call me again.” And you hung up. 

Before he could call again, you blocked his number. And then, like a wall collapsing, you started to sob and then to cry. 

“Fucking prick!” You wanted to throw your phone, but that wasn’t going to make you feel better. You hated him more than ever. And you hated that he had this effect on you. 

“Honey! What happened?” Both girls came running into the room, startled by your scream. 

“That fucking asshole!” You said, unable to stop your sobs. Were you crying because of how mad you were or because you still felt a little bit of hope about this call being different? “He dared to call me to ask questions about why I was with Gio last night… Like he had any rights to do shit like that.” 

Your friends hugged you without saying anything, knowing what you needed right now. 

When were you going to get over him?

[zilabee]

it was written that I would love you

close your eyes and I'll kiss you

when I'm with you I want to stay there

i'm in love and it's a sunny day

now i'll never dance with another

i can't tell you how I feel

i'll do anything for you, anything you want me to

and it doesn't really matter if I'm wrong I'm right

i'd like to stand in a stream with you

lift up your hearts and sing me a song

love is long, love is long

and I love her

we believe that we can't be wrong

we can do what we want, we can live as we choose

and I need love, yeah I need love

i don't see the point resisting your temptation

do you don't you want me to love you

well you can come on to my place if you want to

gonna get hi hi hi in the midday sun

lady let's eat in bed

no one will be watching us

i don't need a true romancer

make love to me and make it right

tonight I just want to stay in, and be with you, and be with you

deep in love, not a lot to say

sing it loud, so I can hear you

i'm in love with a friend of mine

it's understood, it's everywhere with my love

watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

there beneath the blue suburban skies

the rain exploded with a mighty crash

and we was hard pressed to find a smile

well you know i nearly broke down and died

we’ve been travelling for a long time and we finally finished here

ahh, look at all the lonely people

there’s no one left at home, and I believe I’m gonna rain

somedays I don't, I don't believe that you are mine

and in the middle of the celebrations I break down

a lonely man who's in the middle of something

a love that should have lasted years

who in the world can be right, all the right time

once there was a way to get back home

love was such an easy game to play

day after day, alone on the hill

leaving the note that she hoped would say more

some day you'll know I was the one

now what can be done for you

i don't know why you say goodbye

all of the clocks have run down, time's at an end

friday night arrives without a suitcase

and I'm still stranded, wondering why

the drachma's very weak, but everyone's still trading

far away my lover sings a lonely song

so sad so sad sometimes she feels so sad

but as for me, i still remember how it was before

something inside of me says the bad news isn't so

i'm waiting, can’t you see me, I’m waiting

why do you fight that feeling in your heart

why leave me standing here, let me know the way

you will always be holding, holding my heart in your hand

people are ready to forgive a few mistakes

take a sad song and make it better

the swan is gliding above the ocean

we could stand on top of a mountain with our flag unfurled

we can cure each others sorrow

you want a love to last forever

when I lay me down will my lover love me still

i hope it's never too late

- - Paul McCartney

[haechanhues]

Is This Goodbye?

pairing : brother’s best friend!hyunjin x fem!reader (mentions of other members x reader) 

genre : smut. angst. 

warnings : switch!reader + switch!hyunjin dynamics (mostly dom!hyunjin). food play. dirty talk - my guy is a talker. heavy degradation and name calling. orgasm denial. fingering. messy foreplay (you’ll get it). VERY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP - they literally try to hurt each other emotionally. more to the story that isn’t explored. a lot of mocking. probably terrible writing like listen, love...thank you if you’re reading this. 

summary : he’s your brother’s best friend but he knows just as much as you do that that’s not all he is to you. // where your history is the reason you won’t work out. 

word count : 6.4k

@k-labels​​

main masterlist

dedication : to my cousin who has been trying to get me to finish this….I finally did it! aren’t you proud? but i know i was going to get you to beta this but i can’t, i physically can’t anymore so i’ll send you the link later. 

playlist : in the stars - benson boone / ex i never had - lany / like crazy - jimin / here’s your perfect - jamie miller  

From the moment Hyunjin walks into your life again, you knew that life wants to fuck you over. Clearly. 

You find him in the kitchen, laughing with your brother and the rest of his friends. The centre of attention. His inquisitive eyes dart towards your face through his eyelashes, his lips slowly pulling into that knowing half smirk full of trouble and charm. Looking like he dabbled in the work of being the muse of a lovestruck goddess. 

Your appreciative gaze across his figure burns him like melted candle wax. You’ve always been pretty. So pretty that he looks for you in others. Only to be disappointed that none of them are on par with you. 

Initially, you were unattainable and then you weren’t. Since then, the line between the two is something you toy with religiously. So he burns. First to figure out what your deal is. Second for answers he’ll have to pull from your throat. Third because he would burn forever for you if that’s what you believed love was. 

You startle as the group turns and your stare flit across the familiar faces that are the leading forces of your apocalypse. Hyunjin’s stare turns knife-like, cutting into you deeply as each of them pass you, withdrawing different emotions from your chest. 

But when your eyes linger on Minho, who dawdles past you looking like he needed to say something before spotting Hyunjin and deciding it’s best not to. Hyunjin’s insides turn into knots, twisting and twisting until every negative sensation makes up his entire personality. Minho was your first boyfriend, before Hyunjin....before everyone. Although Minho is friends with him now, the memory remains a hard pill to swallow. 

Hyunjin remains where he is, looking past you to the wall as you reach inside the freezer to pull out two ice creams. 

“Want one?” You ask, your voice all soft and weirdly vulnerable, hand outstretched towards him, eyes big. 

“Hmm,” He makes a non-committed shrug, his eyes dipping to the icecream in your hand before lifting to your lips. A small smirk graces your face as you shrug back playfully and you place one of the ice-creams back. Hyunjin’s own expression softens. 

So pretty. 

You’re so pretty. 

“Baby learned how to play,” Hyunjin comments sarcastically, bringing attention to the corner of your mouth with his finger. His body shifts so that your back is against the counter and his figure leans over you. You roll your eyes and Hyunjin’s momentary silence lingers, making the hairs on your skin rise with every second. As a distraction, you bring your ice cream to your mouth, smacking your lips happily and eyes lolling everywhere but him. 

Hyunjin can feel something akin to frustration bubbling in his blood at your faux disinterest and snatches at your chin, dragging your attention back to him. His eyes hard enough to break through skin. 

Because he likes the pain, his mouth meets yours first. He tastes the sweetness of your ice cream and the faint scent of your perfume. With a mind of their own, your hands fall to grip at the bottom of his shirt, your ice cream dragging messily underneath his shirt as you pull him closer into your body and tilt your head to meet the plushness of his lips. 

It’s almost ferocious how good it feels to be kissed by him. Like you were made for each other. Like you had all the time to be together and it still wasn’t enough. Too good. Too toxic. A juxtaposition. 

That’s what the both of you were. 

A juxtaposition of good and bad. 

A juxtaposition of not okay and more than okay. 

Something inside Hyunjin’s breaks at the way your kiss softens and your free hand finds his hair, twirling at the strands. His kiss, however, remains unyielding against yours. Desperate. Your mouth opens obediently and your whole body melts against his dominance. 

“Still in love with Minho, Y/N?” Hyunjin pulls away briefly, scrutinising your futile attempts at chasing after his lips. 

“Why does it matter?” 

Hyunjin growls as lifts you above the counter, opening your jean clad legs enough for him to slip in between them. HIs palm presses against your sex firmly, holding it in place. Your eyes falter at the contact and Hyunjin’s mouth is at the shell of your ear, leaving you hot and bothered, and hisses “It matters... because it determines whether you cum in your jeans or cum on my cock.” 

“Cock,” You order, impatient, hips already seeking his touch. 

The man laughs sarcastically as he reminds you of your earlier actions, “But you’ve left me all messy.” 

“That’s what my tongue is good for,” You argue back, pressing tempting kisses that lead to the heart of his throat. You feel his hardened cock rub against the leg of your jeans and it takes everything within you not to rut against it. 

Hook, line and centre and the treasure shall be yours. 

“Is that right?” 

“Mhmm,” You mewl as his hips shift so that his pelvis directly meets yours. His eyes alight with pure lust that burns through him the same way anger does. 

“You’re so easy to please, like a good for nothing bitch,” Hyunjin comments, displeasure written all over his face with how much you preen over the comment. He takes your lips for his again, his hands in your hair as he stakes claim. His hips are driving wild against your own, driven by the sound of all your impatient whines and pleading. 

“Hyunjin,” You whine against his lips, “Hyunjin….” 

“Are you going to stop acting like a slut?” Hyunjin warns. You nod incessantly. Anything he asks. You’ll do it. Anything, “My room, then.” 

You’re quick to get down from your perch on the kitchen counter, your wetness collecting in your underwear. You hurry across the kitchen, stopping when Hyunjin pauses in his following stride. He cuts your eye contact short with angry narrowed eyes and a hand on the fridge door. 

“I could fuck you in the hallways if you wanted to,” Hyunjin smirks, “But I’d hate for your brother and your exes to find out that I’m fucking their precious Y/N.” 

You rush to his bedroom without another word, and without you in his sights he opens the fridge door, picking at the vanilla yoghurt and plastic spoon attached, a foreboding glint in his eye. 

Hyunjin’s eyes are feral and heavy as he pulls you in for a kiss that is as thick as the air around you. He finds it unfair that you taste sweet like ice cream whilst he tastes like he could break you. Your lips are swollen as they drop at the feeling of his hands trailing down your body to rest on your navel.

“Lie down,” He orders and you gently fall backwards to sprawl on the bed. Your eyes, big and innocent, soft and fond. Nothing but poison to the boy in front of you. To the boy who knows exactly how poisonous they can be.

With a quiet acceptance that only he can see, he reaches for the hair tie around his wrist, pulling it with his teeth. He leans forward, his lithe body looming over you as he expertly ties your hair tight and away from your face. You swallow as your hands find and linger on his waist, trying not to moan at a particular pull of your hair. 

Hyunjin removes the yoghurt from his pocket and hooks his leg over you so that your body is snug in between his thighs. A formality, tone monotone and eyes murderous, “Traffic light system. Give me a colour.” 

Your eyes are eager and they drink him in. You’re nervous but excited. You want him. You’ve always wanted him. 

“Green.” 

He nods without much expression before leaning back on his ankles, his full pink lips part and his tongue licks at them, assessing your body appreciatively. His first touch is over your shirt, eyes curious as his hands explore your body over the fabric, feeling every curve that has teased him. His eyes darken at the way your nipples perk through freely. Unrestricted. He brushes his fingers over the sensitive bud and the whimper you let out is a surprise to you both. 

“Hyunjin,” You plea. 

“No bra?” He notes, feeling the way you lean into his touch, no matter if its a simple brush of his fingers or a slight squeeze, “Expectant?” 

The squeeze of your nipple makes you jolt, the suddenness of it all pulling you briefly from your dazed enjoyment. 

“No.” 

“I think you’re lying to me,” He growls. 

“I’m not,” You whimper again, your voice doused with desperation. 

“You’ve lied to me before,” Hyunjin doesn’t pull on his rage, the leash abandoned, “I believed you then. Remember that?” 

The words you want to say are listless and without control. But he’s not going to listen, every plane and ridge of his face is cruel and unforgiving. The tears fall from your eyes slowly and it only seems to fuel his fire of tyranny. 

“Don’t cry,” Hyunjin collects your tears with the pads of his fingers, tapping at your under eyes so softly, despite the fact that his face is devoid of the softness that belongs in his touch, “I got over it.” 

He kisses you then like he didn’t just break your heart. He kisses you like he loves you again, that he’s never stopped. You return his kiss eagerly, your hand resting on the crook of his neck and your fingers on his face. A kiss that tastes like the sea and problems bled and buried. Unresolved. 

He pulls away. Hard exterior staring back at you. Waiting for a signal. 

“Green.” 

He smirks then, perhaps even grateful, before he pushes your shirt up, the fabric dragging lovingly up your body from your torso, tickling every bit of your skin. Your eyes flutter shut, confidence reawakened. Lust, a strong beacon. Hyunjin feels something akin to pride in the way you seem to bask wholeheartedly in your own body. Loving, almost. It’s a feeling that is peach scented and spins his whole world. 

He rips at the yoghurt lid, licking at it once before he dips the spoon in. His gaze is teasing as he smears the vanilla yoghurt along the swell of your breast, chuckling when you let out a hiss at the feeling. 

“Cold?” Hyunjin teases, swiping his thumb underneath your nipple before placing it in his mouth, moaning at the taste. “Is it really that cold, baby?” 

You nod incessantly, your mouth full of lead and incapable of replying to him. Hyunjin cocks his head in fake thought, “You’re quiet.” 

Your face crumbles pleadingly, hoping it will soften his heart up and finally give in. Eyes, half lidded stare back down at you as he only presses his hand to your mouth, shutting you up with a demanding, “Sshhhh….be a good girl.” 

Your eyes blink at him obediently and you’re rewarded with a small quirk of his mouth that has your whole chest enveloped with warmth. His hand goes to cup your left breast and his mouth meets your nipple and when you find your voice again, it is only a moan. 

Hyunjin immediately wants to come at the way you fall apart. The ceiling lights above you blossom into flowers in spring as you feel the way his tongue drags across the sensitive bud. Your nails drag down the back of his scalp, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your momentary smugness is stolen from you as he begins to leave open mouth kisses, their sounds only serving to fuel your longing. 

At your silence, he looks up and you’re both taken aback by each other. How beautiful one another is. For just one second, you had forgot how lovely he was. How pretty. How beautiful. His blonde hair is messy and itching to be tangled up within your fingers.  Eyebrows furrowed but his eyes too warm. He freezes at the way you’re staring at him, nostalgia waving its victory flag as it seizes all his movements. He can only watch as you lean your whole weight on your elbows to envelop him in a kiss that inspires doubt. He falls into it, despite the promises he spat to himself. 

He snaps away slightly, lips inches apart and he’s reminded once again of your past and your relationship. What you are to him. He remembers then and he won’t make the same mistake twice, “If this is what it takes for you to stop being mouthy, I should’ve done it a long time ago.” 

A crinkle of your expression is all Hyunjin needs before your hand takes hold of his hair and tugs. Hyunjin mewls at the new position, looking at you from his chin. You laugh in his face, like every villain does, “And pain is still yours.” 

Hyunjin can only watch as your position is flipped and he finds himself on his back, his hair splayed out and your whole body drenched with a sexual need. He scowls and you watch on amused as your little puppy tries to call on his claws, “I’m different now.” 

“No,” You giggle slowly, sitting yourself comfortably on his lap, the outline of his cock brushing in between your legs. Hyunjin can’t help but lean into your teasing, a snake completely charmed by its charmer and living as a puppet for all who are curious but he continues to act. 

But you’re not buying it. 

You know him too well after all. 

The trace of your fingers is mocking, and your gaze drops slowly to his pretty fingers curling into fists, “I don’t think you are. I think… you want nothing more but to take your fingers and ruin me with them. To gain control. Power. But you’ll wait…” 

A pause, pregnant with tension and empty promises. Drunk on the way he’s staring at you and how it makes you feel. Bewitched by the way you reach for him. How you want nothing more but to let him ruin you. Ruin him. Ruin each other. The same toxic cycle that tastes nothing but exquisite. 

“Because we both enjoy it when you beg,” You pout then. Your tongue nestled into the roof of your mouth as your finger dances across the creamy skin of his collarbone, “C’mon baby, you used to be so good at it.” 

A fire is all it takes for the castle to burn down and light it you did. 

He snatches your wrist, mouth in a tightly straightened line, utterly furious, “You like it when I beg?” 

You smack your lips, your eyes lingering on every bit of his skin. Every strand of hair. His eyes. His eyelashes. Every bit of him has your attention and your body purrs. Memories of his pleading to please let him come. Please. Please. Please, “Mhmm.” 

“Do you really want me to beg, baby? Tell you what I want?” 

Suddenly, Hyunjin yanks your legs further apart and you can’t help but gasp at the movement. His eyes flash and he can’t rein in his pleasure. Hyunjin’s hand slots itself in between your thighs, his thumb pressing onto your clit through your jeans and you whimper. The cheshire grin on his face growing when he feels you rock into his hold. 

“I’ll beg for you then, since we both enjoy it,” His tongue swipes against his bottom lip and if you hadn’t been so tunnel visioned by his unmoving fingers on your clit, your gaze would have focused onto the action. But it’s the frustrating way he lets your arousal grow and grow. Your legs aching with need for him to move. 

His voice lowers into a whisper, “Please, baby, let me fuck you until I’m the only one that can make you come.” 

The little magic word sends you completely into overdrive. You hate that it has such an effect on you. That it pulls you in completely different directions until you’re only a shell of a person. But, you also love it. You love the eye contact that transpires between the two of you. You love the way need feels - emotionally and physically charged until it encompasses every sense. Taste. Scent. Touch. 

You start to rock on his fingers and circle your hips in search of the friction he knows you need. 

Hyunjin’s hands slip into the front of your jeans and your underwear, growling lowly at the wanting need of your entrance. Your breathing deepens as uncontrollable need takes over you and you start to rock feverishly against his fingers. Slowly building up orgasm. 

Sneaky. 

Pathetic. 

Hyunjin loves it. 

His gaze is dark upon you as he takes notice of your increasing insanity and wants nothing more to control it, to witness you lose all autonomy. 

“Are you going to come?” Hyunjin mocks, his voice more than a whisper but incredibly devilish against your skin. You throw your head back as his fingers start moving faster and deeper inside of you, a home run in sight. 

“You really going to come ,you filthy thing? Come for me?” Hyunjin taunts, pulling the rope inside you so hard you almost snap at his words alone. 

Yes. 

Yes. 

The clouds of heaven that are approaching are ruthlessly ripped away from him and you’re left in Hyunjin’s bedroom again, blanketed with disappointment and the desperate urge to cry. Your breathing deepens to catch your breath but the effort feels useless. Like you’ve been cheated from your rightful sensation. 

“Sorry,” He gloats, unable to control his cheshire grin, “That’s too bad.” 

Hyunjin feeds on your distraught with a vengeful kind of glee, letting it devour him. He brings his finger to his mouth, savouring the taste of your stolen orgasm and wearing it on his lips. You only watch him, upset and furious. But obedient. 

Hyunjin wants to moan at the sight. 

If only you would cry. 

“Are you upset with me?” Hyunjin laughs, breathy, feeling like he soared through the whole sky. Your betrayal contorts your face into a scar that is only cute to him. Taking pity on you, he leans in as if to tell you a secret, “Here, I’ll let you decide what of me you have next….” 

Hyunjin takes note of how mistrusting the tongue in your mouth is. Yet, his attention is completely taken by the way your body leans into him. How your gaze wanders over his frame, a witness to the outcomes of your hidden temptations. 

All the better to wreck you with. 

“Anything,” Hyunjin whispers conspiratorially, “And you have it…” 

As your silence lingers, his palm cups your breast before it begins it’s descent down your front, “My fingers again?” 

A sensual kiss pressed at the crook of your neck, the plumpness of them lingering like nothing else, “My mouth…” 

“My abs,” He whispers, “Imagine how messy my filthy girl will get me?” 

Your mouth waters at the preposition and Hyunjin smirks. He forgets how easily you fall into the idea of getting him all messy. Greedy, you were. You already had his heart ripped apart yet in your pocket for safe keeping. But his body was something you would conquer every time, knowing and cherishing him for the nights you were together. Washing away every other that came in between with your invisible claim that completely fucked him up. 

“That one, huh?” Hyunjin murmurs and you nod incessantly. Once again wordless and headless and completely in a trance. He raises his eyebrow in challenge, “You’re not the only one that loves being dominated...tell me what to do.” 

With a smack of your lips, your hands reach for the bottom of his dress shirt, pulling it above his head and ignoring his fixated stare, “Lie down.” 

It’s all art to him. Love. Sex. Revenge. Like a stroke of his paintbrush, he falls backwards, making sure that you’re trapped within him. Your body falls after him, straddling him with a rushed calmness that shouldn’t make sense. You sit on his pant-clad legs, his erection sitting snug in between the gap in your thighs. 

Every girl or guy he sleeps with and you’re the one that stands out. You’re not quite his favourite. It’s more than that. He sleeps around, leaves others high and dry and yet you’re the one he goes back to. Like you’re his only. But you’re not. You’re not his ‘only’. You’re not his ‘current’. He doubts he was your ‘ever’. 

You’re just the girl he’ll never get over. You’re the girl that has fucked him up to unbelievable lengths and he’s always been hell bent on revenge. So for that, you must suffer. 

Only, you must suffer in a way that your brother will survive through your suffering. In the only way he can really stand to hurt you. In a way that he can be with you over and over again despite the way he hurts and burns. 

It’s torture. 

The only way you can suffer is within the forbidden clouds you both created when you were eighteen. 

“Hyunjin,” You’re calling his name, tone all lustful with a thinly spread layer of concern, one that Hyunjin refuses to believe, “You with me?” 

Hyunjin nods, silent now. He hates you but he doesn’t. You both shouldn’t do this. You shouldn’t have even started this. Yet... he can’t seem to stop. Never has. 

Your concern bubbles inside of you now, and you watch his face soften as he gets lost in his thoughts, “Traffic light system, Hyunjin. Give me a colour.” 

“Green.” 

You exhale, leaning forward to seal his consent with a small kiss. Your lips prickle pleasurably at the feeling of his lips on yours again, completely taken by him. 

Your hands are explorers as they travel down his body. Experimentally, your hand wrap around his neck, feeling the air trap in his throat and his face developing a beautiful red blush. You release and drink in the way his mouth opens to allow the oxygen to enter his body. 

If poetry was a person, it would be Hyunjin. 

You get lost within your thoughts and Hyunjin feels himself get increasingly restless at the feeling of you straddling him without touching him in any way - close to being romantic.

Just like you both used to be. 

Hyunjin lifts his knee slightly, letting your body fall forward and your hands gripping at his biceps like safety nets. His skin tickles at the feeling of your surprised exhale. You cast him a quick glare that he answers with a dismissive quirk of his eyebrow. With an uncontrollable urge, you squeeze at his biceps appreciatively, noting that they had grown since you had last seen him. 

“Are you always this taken by the boys you let in your bed?” Hyunjin teases. 

The quirk of his eyebrow is now directly on your face, written so meanly like the girl he likes to think you are, “You want to know about the boys in my bed?” 

He can’t help the whip of jealousy that licks up his body from the feet up. His tongue fits directly inside the right of his cheek, ignoring the excitement that grows on your face and daring to challenge the thick sauce of his jealousy, “Yeah, tell me about them.” 

“Are you sure?” You croon, “They’re all your friends. Can you handle that?” 

You fucking heinous bitch. 

Every time he tries to convince himself that you were worth the trouble of betraying his best friend, you do or say something that proves otherwise. You’re a taker and you took his trust, his heart and broke it into millions of little tiny pieces that nobody could put together again. 

The anger is painted across his body in the way that tickles you externally. But inside, you can feel dread freeze you over and you fall and fall within its ice age. Hyunjin scoffs. 

He grips at your waist hard, “I’m starting to get bored, sweetheart.” 

You growl back, “You asked.” 

Before he can reply, Hyunjin’s voice is poached at the feeling of your arousal coating his abs, almost dripping onto the bed cover. Your head is slumped forward at the sensation and you let out an involuntary sigh of relief. 

You slide against his tensing stomach, enjoying the curves of his abs with your head thrown back. You’re moaning and your thighs are starting to burn at the effort. Hyunjin grips your hips in support, and you succumb completely to the pleasure you feel. Your hands seek for something to grab onto, but only manage to scratch at the sternum of Hyunjin’s naked chest.

Your breathing quickens as you use him to make yourself come and Hyunjin all but falls into it. You look like you’re his again with your eyebrows furrowed in the way he remembers. Your body is slick with the lovechild of the yoghurt and Hyunjin’s mouth and his with your arousal which he yearns to lick and suck until the early hours of the morning. 

Then you’re stopped. 

Again. 

Malignant pressure on your waist halts you and you want to cry and sniffle with the fact you were so close to coming. So fucking close. Your eyes implore into him, hoping he’ll take pity on your tears and your silent desperation. 

Pity that. 

Hope. 

Hyunjin notes that expression with a surface level type of contempt, ignoring the deeper emotion he doesn’t want to deal with right now. Not ever and especially not with you. 

He hums softly, unable to banish the mocking and true intentions away, he sings “I forgot how easy you come.” 

So did you. 

You grit your teeth, interior hardening despite the sticky tears layering about your eyelashes, “I don’t have to try this hard with Changbin.” 

The humour in denying your overdue orgasm is ripped away from him, “You didn’t do to Changbin what you did to me.” 

Your heart drops. 

Without context, you are two people having sex. Used to the way the other tastes. Knowledgeable about what makes the other tick. A little messy. But if you were to open each other’s heart and devour it… memories upon memories. Locked away in a safe, finally seeing the light of day again. 

“I-” 

Hyunjin’s eyes roll before he shifts the position around, your back now against the plush bed sheets. You melt into the blankets, previously warmed by the body heat of his back. His lips are a breadth away from yours and you yearn for it. For him. For the both of you. 

“Shut up-” His mouth drives forward to slot onto yours. At the lick of his tongue against yours, you feel tingly and your hands go to lock over his neck only for him to lock your wrists in a dominant grip against the bed, “No.” 

His lips find your jaw then, slowly enjoying the taste of your skin and the sounds of your writhing and mewling, “I am going to fuck you like the slut you are.” 

You gasp at the combination of his lips finding your sweet spot and his words. But Hyunjin is relentless and he’s sweet and he reminds you of the both of you back then, “Do you want me to?” 

“M-yeah,” You moan, the peppering of his kisses like body glitter. 

“Not good enough,” He’s stern, “If you want me to fuck you, let me hear you. Let me know you need it.”

“Hyunjin,” You whine, your ankles locking his body to press against yours. You opt to tease him with your hands, coaxing him to have his way with you. To no avail. 

“More,” Hyunjin whispers and it tickles against your cheek, “Or I stop.” 

“Please fuck me,” You plead, he presses evil kisses to the tears slowly trickling down your chin, “Please. I can’t wait anymore.” 

“Hmm,” He hums in a non-committal way that makes you want to yank your hair from the roots. You’re incredibly horny now and your whole body prickles. Your body screams out for him and you writhe and writhe and struggle. Your tears a little ocean for Hyunjin to bask in. 

“If you don’t fuck me,” You splutter, the tears lining your cheeks and marring your eyesight, a hindrance to the frustration crawling up your arms like spiders, “I will go down there and find Minho.” 

There you go again, 

Ruining his fun. 

“Turn around,” His tone and the air are both stagnant, caught in warfare of emotions. His eyes completely dark and devilish. 

With bated breath, you get into position, your hands gripping at the sheets and your ass facing towards Hyunjin who strokes at his cock languidly. His tongue is in his cheek and it’s a sure sign that he’s annoyed. He rips the packet with his teeth roughly, rolling the condom onto his erect cock. 

He glances at your peeking with a growl, “I don’t want to fucking look at you. Face the front.” 

With a swallow, you obediently turn to follow his orders. With a huff, he sends him palm straight to the curve of your ass, and you let out an embarrassing moan, “Y/N…you really are a bitch.” 

At those words he squeezes at the flesh before spreading and revealing the mess on your pussy. He wants to whine at the sight but he refrains. After all, he’s still pissed at you and right now, he has the power over you. He decides when you come. He decides how you’re going to come. 

It’s all him. 

He spits in his hand before gliding the makeshift lube across your sex, enjoying the way your body tenses and attempts to chase after his tinkering fingers. The names come to him in waves, each degrading. Whore. Slut. Bitch. 

His. 

You’re always his. You’re always his whore. His slut. His bitch. 

And he was going to make sure you knew. 

He lines his cock up with your entrance, his eyes going weak at the feeling of your wet walls that swallow him whole. His hips drive into you, the slap of the skin sounding pornographic and he lets out a pleasurable groan. You whimper as he continues to wreck you over and over again. 

His grip on your hips is brutal and yet you can’t get over how full you feel. How good it all is. Him. You fall to your elbows with a high pitched moan as he drills in and out of your pussy. He loves the way you lose yourself in the pleasure, primitive in your vocal responses. 

“Ah-” At a particular delicious thrust that has your moan buried within the sheets in front of you, your mouth drooling, “O- Fhuck-” 

You’re not even making sense at this point. Past the point of dignity and ambitious only for your pussy to swallow his come. For his body to press up against your back, his hands traveling across the expanse of your naked body. 

“Minho,” Hyunjin scoffs, his grip tightening and his thrusts harder, “He couldn’t fuck you harder than I do-” 

You only moan. Moan. Scream. Whine. It’s not enough. Not enough indication of how good you feel- 

“Still want Minho to fuck you my pathetic baby?” Hyunjin coos, his whispers dancing along the naked skin of your back. 

You shake your head. 

“Don’t stop,” You plead, you think you’ll cry if he stops now. You wish upon any star in the night that he’ll continue. That he won’t leave you high and dry despite the ways in which you fucked him over tonight. 

Hyunjin only laughs, “I’m not going to fucking stop. You hear me?” 

“Mmm,” You cry as you attempt to watch the way in which your body and his meet. You make eye contact with Hyunjin and expect to be degraded, be told to face the front or moan in the blanket like the pathetic whore you are, but he doesn’t. Instead, he surprises you with a small smile.��

If only he had his camera, he would’ve taken multiple photos of you whilst you were in the throes of your shared passion. This moment, however would be ‘that’ photo. With your mouth heavy and your eyes wet, you’re a complete mess. His mess. His trouble. His torture. 

He lets out a loud moan, “Oh fuck Y/N…” 

The shit you do to him. 

At the stuttering of his hips, your butt chases after his cock, bouncing wildly for any sound of pleasure. Greedy for it. You can feel the telltale signs of your orgasm approaching and as his energy levels start to dwindle, he’s found the same path.

“Fuck,” He curses as his come spills into the condom. He remains still inside you, he winces as you continue to move against him and you’re both grateful that your orgasm follows almost immediately after. Breathing heavily, he pulls out of you gently and then you spin around to greet him with a sweet kiss that absolutely steals his breath away. All the sex in the world and yet this is the shit that gets to him. 

His lips massage yours in the sweetest way and you can’t even pretend that the clouds of lust remain anymore. Hyunjin’s him after all. Your tongue hesitantly licks against his bottom lip and Hyunjin tries to deepen the kiss, make the kiss hotter, messier, wetter… 

But your kiss remains fond.

And he doesn’t like it. 

He doesn’t like this. 

You. 

He can’t. Not after the first. Not the second. Not the third. He knows if you push him, he will surely fall into you again, convictions forgotten.

That’s what scares him the most. 

He pulls away like he’s been electrocuted, pushing gently at your shoulder. He stares at you, eyes wide with betrayal written all over his face. It’s Deja Vu. From the very first time you had initiated this type of relationship. When you coldly broke up with him and then within days announced you were in a relationship with Changbin. 

Forgive. Forget. None of that matters. 

Revenge does. 

“Remind me what this is,” Hyunjin’s voice is low and purposeful. As if daring you to cross him. Challenging you, “Because one of us seems to have forgotten.”

“Fucking,” Your voice is soft.

Hyunjin hates it. Hates you. But also not at all.

“Yes, fucking.” He laughs but there’s no humour laced into the words he spoke, “So why is there so much drama when all we do is fuck?”  

Your lips press against each other, keeping silent. Calculated. Hyunjin reaches for your mouth, squeezing at your chin before his mouth is beside your ear.

“Do you love me, Y/N?” Hyunjin croons, “Is that what this is?”

You freeze, and you stare at him, your eyes glazed. But Hyunjin is frozen just as much as you are. Not in the same way. His ice makes him crueler, more condescending. He was once water, flowing freely. Gentle and rough at the same time. Only for your hand to freeze all that were rivers, ponds, streams. Blood.

Although you feel your heart decaying and crumbling with every word, strangely, you don’t shy away from his cruelty. Instead, you find yourself slightly marvelling at it. You are its creator, after all. A feat that continues to stand against time. 

When he takes your silence as an answer, he leans back so that he’s all you see. The hard ridges of his prince like face and his wet mouth stare down at you, a soft whisper brushing against your skin, “I loved you. Cherished you… Now I know better.”

He laughs then, every part of him evil but his heart. But it’s not fun. Not at all. Not when your lip is starting to tremble and he can see your heart beating erratically on your sleeve. Not when he can feel his own heart breaking. 

But it’s fine. 

Because he’s better. It may have taken time, but he can be completely over you. He can hurt you. He can. 

He will. 

“That’s not true,” You choke. His smile drops and his mouth hardens-

You’re unbelievable.

You can’t fucking do this. 

It’s not fair. 

“Fuck this,” He mutters, fun dead and buried, removing himself from you to remove the condom before throwing on pants and a shirt and hurriedly walking out the door. 

The room is silent. Too silent. You miss the sound of his breathing. You can hear him in your head. In your heart. And it’s too loud. He’s too loud. You can’t help the first sob that escapes you, the heartbreak running along the trenches of your heart. 

Hyunjin stares at his reflection in the mirror. 

His lips are raw with bites and his cheeks are flushed with post-sex glow. He clearly had a good time. But his eyes, hollow and lifeless. Rimmed with tears that threaten to unleash a howl crawling to escape his throat. 

He wants to cry. 

A pathetic kind of sob. 

He quickly swipes at the tears falling down his face with cold water, praying that the symptoms of his turmoil will no longer leave a physical mark. Systematically, he reaches for a hand towel and douses it with cold water, squeezing at the fabric. 

He walks down the hallway, dead to the world but his heart reaching for you. He pauses at the door listening to the sound of your sobbing that only has his soul wrenching at the pure agony. 

Hyunjin opens the door tentatively and he feels his chest swell up like a balloon at the sight before him. He can’t breathe. The walls close in on him and his throat knotted too tight for oxygen to pass through. 

It feels like death. 

Minho has your naked body in a loving embrace, his nose buried into your neck and his hands around your torso. You sob into Minho’s hold with such a familiar vulnerability that makes Hyunjin’s heart ache more than it ever has. Minho’s warm hoodie is bunched within your tightening grip and you’re murmuring into his skin and Minho just holds you. 

It’s so warm and so loving, it makes Hyunjin feel physically sick. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

He was supposed to break you. Show that he was unstoppable without you. But he’s not. He’s a shell. A hollow shell. 

And you’re the cause. 

With another decisive wipe of his tears, he turns away from the scene before him, trudging down the hallway with new battle wounds and his worn out mantra. The urge to tell Felix all that has transpired between the two of you since you were eighteen rushes through Hyunjin’s ears, to let your brother and his friends know that you weren’t as innocent as you liked to pretend you were. 

But he can’t, because he loves your brother and he loves you. 

He will forever love you. 

It’s always going to be you. 

author’s note : there is so much more to their relationship that i haven’t explored (if you’re interested) and i edited it but like barely. i’ve lost my will to go on. i just want to be finished with this. right now. hopefully this didn’t suck! happy extremely late birthday hyunjin <3 i actually do love you. but i also finished editing like literally a bit ago! so here it is!! 

[veemunson86]

I see you everywhere

Pt 3, love of my life.

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it was Steve's idea, to write a letter to Eddie and burn it. you thought it was cheesy but decided to give it a shot. the heavy weight your heart felt for him ached more and more every day which was causing unwanted stress. going  into the 8th month of your pregnancy began to become unbarable without him. all you wanted was to feel him holding you late at night, but he couldn't, and that alone was a crushing feeling. at first you thought it was a horrible idea, but when you were missing him extra one day, you finally found the right words.

" my dearest eddie, today marks almost 8 months since you left me. it still hasn't gotten any easier. everyone says it gets better, but when? i miss you like crazy. i still wear your ring, but its too big for my hand so i have it on a chain i swear around my neck. i wonder what our wedding would have been like. i wonder how you would have raised our beautiful baby girl, would you have played her music to help her sleep? everywhere i go, its like you're here with me. i see you everywhere around the house that would have been ours. i wake up to what would have been the side of your bed, and its like sometimes i envision youre laying next to me... your hair a big frizzy mess. i find myself doing that a lot, thinking youre here with me, that maybe, just maybe you'll come back to me. but you wont, and that's when i snap back into reality. you're gone. its still hard to say out loud. our baby is growing so fast. she has a strong heartbeat. i remember when i would lay my head  on your chest when we would be on the couch, or laying in bed. it was my favorite thing to listen to. that day when i held you, i felt your heart slowly give out, and a part of mine died with you that day. everyone here says ive changed, and the truth is i have. the y/n i was died when you did, now I'm just the shell of the girl i once was. the shell of a girl who lost the one person she truly loved. but i wanna change, that's why in writing this. i wanna change for our girl. i wanna be the best version of myself i can, for her. it scares my thinking about having to do this alone, but i know I'm not alone. i have the kids, and steve, nancy and robin to help. they go with me to every appointment. i know she is gonna be so loved by them, and that makes me happy. i decided on a name. remember when we talked about a family of our own one day? we wrote down names that we would want for our kids. i found that notebook when i moved your stuff in here. our house. just like we wanted. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom. big backyard, with a small swimming pool. it wasn't easy, but i had help. my parents and your uncle helped me until i could get up on my feet. i moved your stuff here, part of my thinks youre gonna show up one day. our bedroom is perfect. we both have a nightstand, i have pictures of us together o your side. i know it all sounds stupid, but its comforting. i have a few of your shirts in the closet, they still smell like you. i always loved that smell, like cinnamon and weed. it makes it feel like youre still here. i open up our closet and that's the first thing i smell, it smells like home. like you. i picked our girls name, i decided on Amelia. shes gonna have your last name. i set up her nursery with the help of steve, dustin, and max. her little room is adorable. i have a light pink crib, and above it there is her name smelled out in wooden letters. there is little ducks on the wallpaper, as when i went through my first nesting phase i didnt know the gender yet. there is a fuzzy white rug right by her crib, and a rocking chair so i can feed her in there. i wish you could be here to see it, but alas, youre not. so i guess this is my final goodbye to you. steve said writing this and burning it would give me piece of mind, and i think hes right. so goodbye my love, i will love you forever, please watch over me and our baby. i love you."

and with that, you folded the paper in half, throwing it in the fireplace, watching as it slowly turned to ash.

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[secretswiftymarvelfan]

I love you 3000 writing bonanza!

I’ve hit 3000 followers!!!

Now if you remember a while ago I asked how you guys would like to celebrate and this is what I’ve come up with! If you remember my 2.5k Followers Writing Challenge and Exchange its kinda similar to that but I’ve made some improvements!

What is going to happen is I am going to open up my askbox/dms for requests!

To make this manageable and allow me to complete as many as possible I will only be accepting requests in these following forms:

1) A question about a character or series

For example: How would X characters feel about Y character doing XYZ?

2) A What If…. For one of my series

For example: What If the character for X series met 10 years prior

3) A request using a maximum of 3 of the prompts below (the list is hella long so I’ve put it below the cut!)

For Example: Ari Levinson / Mob AU / You won’t get away so easy

If I receive a request that does not fall into one of these three categories then I will not fulfill it!

And because I like for everyone to be able to get involved if you yourself are a writer/want to give writing a go and you like any of the below prompts feel free to use them (the max of 3 doesn’t apply to you guys) all I ask is that you tag me, use the hashtag Niamh Loves You 3000, use appropriate warnings and let me know which ones you’re using so I can keep my eye out!

If you are writing a fic using the below prompts I ask you to follow these rules:

No sexual relations with minors, no somnophilia, necrophilia, incest, toilet stuff, snuff, or beastiality!

Dark Fics are allowed (Non-Con/Dub-Con) but they MUST BE APPROPRIATELY TAGGED!

Any creation MUST BE ORIGINAL! No stealing, stealing is bad!

The creation if part of a series must be able to be read as a stand alone!

No word limit! If it’s over 500 please use the read more function!

All the prompts are below the cut, remember its a max of three, but you can mix and match as you like so the possibilities are endless!

Characters:

Chris Evans

Steve Rogers

Andy Barber

Frank Adler

Ari Levinson

Curtis Everett

Johnny Storm

Jake Jensen

Ransom Drysdale

Any other Chris Evans character

Trope:

Fake Dating

Only One Bed

Enemies to Lovers

Friends to Lovers

Cuddling for warmth

Trapped together

Mistaken Identity

One night only

Love Triangle

Fated Mates

Childhood Sweethearts

Grumpy x Sunshine

Forbinned Love

Forced Proximity

WILDCARD! (You can pick an Trope not listed!)

AU:

A/B/O AU

Mob AU

Sports team AU

College AU

Emergency Service AU

(Medieval) Royalty AU

(Modern) Royalty AU

Pornstar AU

Fairytale / Fantasy AU

Biker AU

Soulmate AU

Band/Musician AU

WILDCARD! (You can pick an AU not listed!)

Dialogue:

"I told you not to touch that"

"I'm tired of answering that question"

"Why didn't they come?"

"I'm so sick of pretending everything's okay"

"don't just stand there! do something!"

"do you remember that night in [insert place]?"

"is there a problem here gentlemen?"

"what on earth happened here?"

"there's blood everywhere"

"Get in the van!"

"I'm not saying you're a bad cook, but even the flies in the kitchen wear gas masks."

"I may be a terrible dancer, but I've got great moves in bed."

"I'm not high maintenance; I'm just low tolerance for mediocrity."

"I love the sound of your voice and the way you say my name."

"Being with you feels like coming home."

“You're not the person I thought you were."

"I never imagined my life without you."

"I never got to say goodbye."

"I'm so glad you're here to point out my flaws. I would never have noticed them on my own."

"Oh, don't worry about being late. We'll just sit here and wait for you forever."

"I'm sorry. Did I ask for your opinion?"

"Why do you always insist on seeing the worst in people?"

"It's not my fault you can't handle the truth."

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want."

"You think you're better than me, but you're not."

"I'll use anyone I need to achieve my goals."

"You've made a huge mistake, and now you're going to pay for it."

"Don't you realize how much you've hurt everyone around you?"

"you have no idea what you do to me"

"don't you dare go slow"

"I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow"

"move and you won't be coming tonight"

"hands behind you're back"

"Beg for it"

"you can take it, you've done it before"

"I'm going to fucking ruin you"

"do you think you deserve a reward/punishment?"

"show me how much you missed me"

"Are you holding back? don't"

"shall we put your mouth to better use?"

"Slowly, I'm not going anywhere"

"I said I'd take care of you"

"Please, I can't sit still"

So there’s absolutely so many to pick from covering fluff, comedy, angst and smut 😉 don’t forget to follow the rules I’ve set out above!!

I love you all 3000 🩵🩵🩵

[strgrlxox]

✧.➷ like you'll never love again.

☆ || original request here !

☆ || CONTAINS: angsty smut. barely any dialogue.

☆ || WORD COUNT: 787!

you feel the movement of his hands—feeling you. unlike all the other times where he’s felt you up like he couldn’t touch you everywhere fast enough, he took his time with you.

when he pressed his lips to yours, you couldn’t help but melt into him and relish in the way he tasted. you couldn't even call it kiss really, more of him trying to memorize your mouth. swirling his tongue around, lips smacking against yours—it was messy but you let him anyway, parting your lips further to give him more room.

he needed this, and you did too.

you’d been arguing with him for so long you almost forgot what silence was like. but now, the room was almost dangerously silent if it weren't for the sounds of your heavy breathing.

he trailed down your body, stripping you bare as he went.

he stopped at your stomach, slowly placing little kisses there.

“can i…” he breathed out deep, barely able to ask the question without his voice shaking. “can i taste you?”

you allowed your hands to dance in his hair, shutting your eyes tightly to stop yourself from letting persistent tears fall.

“yes.”

at your agreement, his head sunk down in between your legs.

his desperation to savor you for the last time led him to not allowing even a drop of you to escape his tongue. you couldn’t help the moans that you let out, you couldn’t help the tears that brimmed in your eyes either.

you relax into him—gaze fixed on the way he devoured you.

“jamie…i’m gonna—“

even when he made you feel terrible, he could always make you feel so good.

“come for me, please. i need it.” you shivered at his words, gripping his hair while your body convulsed around him.

you closed your eyes again, listening to the sound of his belt buckle being undone.

you felt his hands trailing up and down your spread thighs, his breathing was heavy in the noiseless room.

he didn’t tease you, sliding into you slowly. you gasped, your hand going up to cover your mouth. he gripped it, covering your palm with his while interlacing your fingers together.

it was painful but not physically, it hurt the way he filled you up so perfectly. the way he looked at you with a silent acknowledgment…this would be the last time.

it hurt you because it felt so good, because you’d never get to have him like this again.

“you feel so…” you sniffled a little, laughing at yourself for crying. “so good.”

he kissed away your tears, some of his own falling down his cheeks despite himself.

james always did like the intimacy of having you like this. it was a way to show you how he felt about you rather than just tell you.

and for the first time since the first time, james potter was not fucking you——not making love to you…he was saying goodbye.

you began to whine as he started to move entirely too slow. you knew he was trying to savor the moment but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was still torturing you for your earlier arguments.

“you can take it, know you can.” he panted above you.

“james…” your voice rasped in a way you did not recognize, your eyes met his as your legs began to tremble.

“i know, angel. i know, i know.” he melted down so his head was in the crook of your neck and his arms were around your frame, bracing your body against his——trapping you against the warmth of his chest.

“i don’t ever wanna stop.” if you didn’t know him so well, you wouldn’t have been able to make out the barely coherent sentence. he rested his forehead against yours, you could feel his head jostle with every thrust. “tell me to stop or i never will.”

while he wishes he could do this forever, you both have learned that this will end.

your hands gripped his hair again, which was easily one of your favorite features of james.

“please, don’t stop. i don’t want you to, not yet.” you pull his hair just a little to make him look at you. “i wanna feel it tomorrow, make me feel it.”

he groaned, the sound itself almost enough to make you cum again. “you were always so good for me, weren’t you?”

you clench down on him instinctively at his praise.

“don’t do that, i won’t last much longer if you do that.”

you hum, allowing him to take you for as long as he needed to…until it was over. then he’d leave, and the love that you two shared for so long will be gone with him.