“I think you and Leonard will be together. I think you’re the best couple I know.” “That’s so sweet. Why do you think that?” “Well, I feel like you guys make each other better. Penny brought Leonard out of his shell. And it seems like Leonard makes Penny think more deeply about the world. I don’t know.
Together you two kind of make one awesome person.”
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The lighting and sharpness on the Z picture vs Tom’s picture… it’s like they were taken on different phones. She has to be one of the most photogenic ppl on the planet
Yeah she's unreal. Does she want to share some of her photogenicity with the rest of us 😭
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someone needs to do something about the anterior pelvic tilt epidemic that is obliterating the queer community
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ok so the other d string i put on the guitar broke in the exact same way
🤨
it seems like it’s my fault but i dunno how bc in 8yrs i’ve never broken a d string… and now two in two days … crazy times we are living in ..
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"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"
dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.
but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.
the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.
so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.
we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.
now leave us alone.
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the "hamas actually treated their hostages really well" talking point is INSANE to me do you even hear yourselves? i don't care if these people were/are dining at the fucking ritz every night, do y'all know the amount of pain and turmoil these communities have been in for the past two months??? a friend of mine doesn't even know if her son is still ALIVE. a gilded cage is still a fucking cage, and it's still horrifying that these people are being held against their will. period, end of discussion
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friends who speak other languages: what do you say at the end of a fairy tale?
thinking about how und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind dann leben sie noch heute (and if they haven't died then they're still alive today) is so different from and they lived happily ever after and wondering about other possibilities... will you share? I would love to hear obsolete/silly/uncommon/satirical versions too!
yes, this is for a fic which I haven't actually started yet but I'm already thinking about the last line sshhhh
feel free to reblog!
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