#got distracted by doll customizers on youtube

[candyheartedchy]

Hey Chy! I heard you were looking for some distractions and some good news!

I don’t have a lot going on today, but I got a new edition of manga in the mail today— it’s the canon high school AU for the source where on of my F/Os is from. 💕 Oh, and I also made some brownies, too!

Also, if you’re looking for something to sit and vibe to, I’d recommend Dollightful on YouTube— she does a lot of doll customizations and focuses a lot on character design, and her videos tend to focus on the creative process of things! If I’m ever in the need for some background noise or something, I like listening and watching to her stuff. :3

I hope this helps! Also, as a bonus, here’s a picture of our cat, Papyrus getting cozy. :3

Hope you enjoy your manga!! And it’s funny that you baked something because I made muffins a while ago lol And I’ll definitely check out Dollightful!

Also your cat is ADORABLE!! 🥺

[pooklet]

Get to know you: Sims Style

I was tagged by @pockethamster and @furbyq-sims so here we goooo.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

In general: the satellite, cuz of the piano replacement that I have. It is also one of the most efficient ways to cull townies.

Specific deaths that have happened to my sims: Tiara dying in a toddler potty. No death in my game has ever/will ever be funnier.

Alpha CC Semi-realism or Maxis Match?

Semi-realism. Maybe it's cuz I started playing when that was the common style, but maxis match just looks very ... flat to me? Very papery. I've seen it done in a really fun, cartoon-y style by some creators, but that seems to be the minority and most of it seems to hew very neutral/natural toned and I am not about that lol. Even IRL, I like to surround myself with bright, colorful stuff.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Like, keep them thin? lmao no. I let their personality determine whether they exercise, but that has nothing to do with them being fat, as far as I'm concerned. I use a lot of fat bodyshapes because I'm fat myself and I like to have a lot of variety in my game. I don't have any system for deciding whether I use the maxis default body or a custom shape, I just go with what looks right to me.

Do you move objects?

Are there people who don't?

Favorite Mod?

Hm, either ACR v2 or Walk Through Blocks. I like my sims to be able to make as many autonomous decisions as possible, and navigate the spaces that I cram full of clutter.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

In the Sims 1 the first expansion I got was Hot Date. I played TS2 from release, so my first expansion was University.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Alive.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I mean, it has to be Mawreen, right? If only for the chaos that she's sown.

Have you made a simself?

Yeah a few throughout the years, and I haven't played them in ages. Mostly I just use them for silly little pics with @skulldilocks's selfsim.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

One of the custom ones, I guess! I don't remember, I have all the EA hairs hidden lol.

Favorite EA hair?

I don't have one, really. Maybe some of the natural black hairstyles converted from TS4 but I couldn't name specific meshes.

Favorite life stage?

Adult! I made a custom aging mod so I can go through the other stages relatively quickly. The way my game is set up, they unlock all their traits and wants once they're an adult, and I like to see who they are as a fully realized person, so that's the most fun for me.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay. I have a lot of fun making houses based on real floorplans that I find, but it's mostly just stage dressing for the little freaks that inhabit them.

Are you a CC creator?

Yeh.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I mean, @skulldilocks obvs. People don't approach me much so there's only a few ppl that I talk to regularly like @furbyq-sims and @lilithpleasant. I am not really the "squad" type.

Do you have any sims merch?

This is a real thing?

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nope! I would never stream gameplay, the way I play isn't interesting. Lots of pausing and carefully adjusting angles to take pictures, getting distracted by other stuff, random crashes, etc. And editing that footage into something watachable would take ages. My play style lends itself better to picture entries, so I use Dreamwidth.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

More colors, more aliens, more [[JAM FACTORY]] lore.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@skulldilocks no question! I love watching her create anything for any game or craft. She's so talented. It doesn't matter if she's making sims cc or custom houses for Skyrim or doll clothes or anything else, she's my biggest inspiration.

How long have you had Simblr?

2010, babeyyyy.

How do you edit your pictures?

I have a tutorial here. I need to update it because I use different actions now, but most of the actual information there is still accurate.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

I want to say pets because I love cats so very much, but in terms of actual content, probablyyyy FreeTime? I like anything that makes sims more unique and the hobby system is a lot of fun!

I tag: @skulldilocks, @lilithpleasant, @krabbysims, @monilisasims, @goatskickin and @simmer-until-tender

[theprissythumbelina]

girl help I read a new book and I have visions of a new character and plot

[project-paranoia]

Let’s Watch: Yin Yang Master: Dream of Eternity

I have watched this movie 85 Whole Entire Times and I do not regret.  The only thing wrong with this movie is that it wasn't a fifty episode series.  I cried, I laughed, I fell in love.  The cinematography is on point, the acting is amazing, the crew member who put snow on people's eyebrows did an amazing job, and the acting!  The subtlety, the gentleness, the love and affection, the discussion of race is one of the best I've ever seen.

As people have pointed out before in series like X-Men that fear of mutant's is practically if not thematically justified due to the laser eyes in a way that fear of ethnic minorities just isn't in real life.  In Dream of Eternity however humans are equally if not sometimes more super powered than the yao they hunt.  Demons - very much not in the Christian sense - are a mixture of spirits, resentful souls, and animals and plants who cultivated to human form.  They often appear human at first glance and in some cases the extent of their power seems to be the limited to turning into a smaller more vulnerable animal.  Qingming's deliberate care and gentleness not only reflects his upbringing as a Yin Yang Master, but parallels the experience of racial minorities labelled as aggressive.

The movie takes particular care as well in the way it looks at trauma, grief, and love.  The three of which haunt the main characters and send out ripple effects into the world around them.  In the world of Dream of Eternity no loss is purely private, it spools out into the world around the person effected until they make an effect to acknowledge and deal with their experiences.  Qingming's warmth and gentleness isn't just marked by his behaviour but by the orange light he's lit by and his variety of shishen - but he is also separate, standing alone in frame and facing away from the people around him.  Boya's loss has made him unforgiving and as cold as the blue light he's lit in, and yet he is open and instinctive, talking and acting as soon as the thought enters his head.  The Empress is lost and drifting, trapped and grief stricken, vulnerable to those who profess to love her.  The film is simple, it says and shows what it means when it means it - but it is also as complex as the very human characters it depicts.  

The movie is made even more complex by its pull from theaters.  Claims of plagiarism drench the edges of the movie, which as true as the assertion that Fan BingBing went on a spa vacation in 2018.  Although this blog is about Chinese censorship dealing specifically with BL content, Chinese censorship also effects those who criticize governmental policy.  I hope that supporters of this blog will also support Chinese media threatened by censorship for many reasons so that artists and others involved in film making can continue to make meaningful content.

Doing a watchthrough of a movie is not feasible, but please enjoy a few thousand words - with spoilers on Yin Yang Master included:

* That gentle chiming and rain soundscaping is so soothing, what a great way to calm and lull the audience before the movie even starts * Qingming is so small and isolated in the frame - cinema! * The lighting and cinematography is just so good * Shifu, soft gentle teacher * So much love stored in the Shifu * Instant grow * This boy is Sassy * This theme of deflection in Qingming's character is established early * Deflection with a teleportation portal and then immediately deflection verbally * Shifu is certainly an attractive man aged up, but his face is also soft and gentle, something to note when his double pops up later * Also the awkward question of don't you have someone you want to protect, maybe part of the problem is that shifu is just really bad at wording things * The answer that yes he does has several meanings, one of which is immediately apparent when Shifu acts out one of those Father Saves Child By Yeeting them youtube videos * ACtion MuSIC * I love them your honour * The spirit guardian's design is so specific and elegant, absolutely superb you funky little shishen * I wonder if Qingming ever thinks about that if he didn't come back with all his fellow disciples that Shifu would have been fine * Maybe it's not that he doesn't have someone he wants to protect and more that he believes that he's not capable of protecting those he wants to * subtle indication Shifu's qi is corrupted * Precious Magic Childe ;-; * The framing, I'm living for it * The Serpent graphic is lovely * Also the way they set things up * Qingming cares so much about his shifu * Mark Chao just has the ability to crumple his face like paper * Sad Time exposition involving the corrupting influence of desires * "When you're gone I'll be all alone" in just about all you need to know about Qingming at this point in the story * Also like, sympathy for Shifu in raising this lonely child.  By all accounts he was an absolutely superb father figure, and Qingming I'm sure was not an easy child to raise.  He's the sort of kid that would take a lot of calm and patience. * Slumber party! * It's kind of interesting that this is an activity Fangyue and He Shouyue are doing together.  He's definitely obsessed and in love with her and she's just doing friends and family activities with him * Also yellow/gold lighting is kind of their thing * It's interesting how they do the make up for He Shouyue.  The actor is very attractive, but they make him up to look doll like, a little too pretty, a little too shiny.  Like a porcelain doll. * Cool lit Boya and warm lit Qingming appear! * Camels! * The framing is so good, they're careful to be sure he's shown as obviously isolated as much as possible * And it should go without saying that I adore the City * The matte painting is outstanding * But there's also the lighting, the vignettes, the clusters, the foliage * It is a supremely beautiful set * The irony that Killing Stone is playing along with Boya's music and then it's Boya who kicks him around * A small note, but one I appreciate - even when Boya has warm highlight's they're red instead of orange * "It's Jason Bourne!" * I hope Qingming paid for that water taxi * It's interesting how Killing Stone goes from the safety of Qingming's orange light to the danger of Qingming's blue * Colour related foreshadowing! * Look at this poor sweet man, how could anyone suspect him of anything.  He's just a sad man who loves his dead wife * Qingming's use of a fan is interesting - battle fans show up all over wuxia and xianxia, but it feels like it also ties into the way he's so very careful in how he presents himself.  There's that quote that a sword can only be a sword but other weapons are also able to serve other purposes - not a perfect quote but the point is got across. * The way Qingming just knocks Boya back, like get An Clue, my dude * The way that Killing Stone curls around the pipa ;-; * So the movie is based on the book series 'Onmyoji' by Yumemakura Baku.  The books start with Seimei (Qingming) and Hiromasa (Boya) already in a relationship talking about various cases Seimei has recently experienced.  Plotwise, obviously the stories are different, however thematically Seimei and Hiromasa discuss why some yao stick around and solutions to the difficulties and dangers they might cause - which is generally from Seimei's very successful perspective to listen and treat them like humans.  So in that way the plots of the books and the movie are quite different, but the themes are just about identical. * Boya says Don't Talk Me I Angy and also that demons don't have feelings and Qingming's face takes out a billboard that's just like Ah, Another Fantasy Racist, Excellent * Qingming also does what should be done in this situation, taking care of the victim not the racist * Fight scene!  Fight scene! * Qingming's first few moves aren't to attack, they're to distract and just hold his fan up to block Boya's way and his view - it's only when Boya persists in attacking that Qingming fights back * Qingming's sassy smile, he is very much deliberately irritating Boya as much as he's refocusing his attention and distracting him * "nICE sWORD" * I've sighed that sigh before * This boy is taking great pleasure from teasing Boya, but also he makes a really good point * I understand and relate to what Qingming did, but also I can understand why Boya was ready to throw rocks at Qingming when he saw him again * Killing Stone lit in Qingming's orange light again * Killing Stone, my beloved * A good gauge to the state of the world for yao is no one has told this sweet boy before that demons have feelings too * There are several lines like this in the movie that just drop kick you with Implications * The same way Qingming clung to Zhongxing, Killing Stone wants to join up with Qingming to have some compassion in his life * The way he asks to be a spirit guardian is so formal too, and Qingming is so gentle with him, I cry ;-; * The warm orange light of Qingming's love ;-; * He heals the wounds * It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realise it's the actual imperial degree speaking and not one the of Jingyun Temple Masters * The mutual this guy again is delicious * "Is it because of your pretty face" * Boya draws his sword so fast and Qingming is so amused by it * Longye!  Queen!  I love her! * The two of them seem to understand each other instantly * Those sassy little smiles * He Shouyue looks even more like a doll than before * Longye has her head on a swivel from second one, she plays the Maiden so well like she's not a skilled master * And her customer service smile * Qingming is shooketh

* What happens next?  You'll have to watch and find out!

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

What in Carnation? ~ Bucky x Reader College!AU Oneshot

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day, lovelies! Whether your single or in a relationship I wish you a very happy day filled with all sorts of love. 

Summary: The swim team is holding a flowergram fundraiser for Valentine’s day, and you have a secret admirer. 

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, fluff 

Word count: 1763 

Divider by @whimsicalrogers​ 

“Please, please, please!” Wanda begged as she tugged on your arm, guiding you away from the library that you really needed to get to.

“Didn’t I already participate in your fundraiser? I’m pretty sure we have like a box and a half of candy bars that I bought,” you teased.

“That was last semester’s fundraiser. This is a new semester.”

“I gathered. Alright fine. What is it this time?”

“Valentine’s Day flower-grams.”

“Excuse me?”

“You order flowers for people and we deliver them to their dorms for Valentine’s Day,” Wanda explained as she moved around to the other side of the sign up table.

“And who exactly am I sending flowers to. I don’t have a Valentine,” you reminded her.

“I’ll be your Valentine, Y/n,” Pietro offered with a wink.

“Thanks, Piet. But I think a certain computer genius would be awfully upset,” you grinned at him.

His cheeks turned pink at the mention of his crush, Skye, and you couldn’t help but giggle at him.

“It doesn’t have to just be for a valentine. Lots of people are sending them to friends or roommates.”

“You angling for some flowers, Maximoff?”

She shrugged, grinning at you. 

“Maybe. But seriously you can send them to anybody. Just one or two. Pleeeease.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Alright. Alright. Since it’s for such a good cause.”

“The swim team thanks you, doll.”

 Your eyes widened at the voice, and the Maximoff twins held back laughter at your stunned look.

“Oh hey, Bucky.” You turned and greeted him, fiddling with your pen.  

“Hey. How’s it going?”

“Oh you know. The usual. Midterms are kicking my butt. How about you?”

“Pretty much the same. I’m looking forward to the break in a couple of weeks.”

“Do you have any plans?”

“Not really. Probably just binge watching something on Netflix.”

“Sounds ideal. I’ll probably do the same.”

“Nice.”

He trailed off, straightening out the pile of order forms.  

You weren’t sure what else to say, so you started filling out the tags Wanda had slid towards you, relieved when Bucky was distracted by another customer. You sent Wanda and Nat a few each, and one each to Pietro and Thor– all white carnations for friendship.

You were going to just give Wanda a twenty, so you had two flowers left to go. You hesitated, nibbling your bottom lip before sneaking a peek at Bucky. You had had a crush on the swim team captain for a while, but you’d never really worked up the courage to say anything.

In a brief moment of bravery (or insanity) you filled out one last tag and circled the red option on the order form. You handed them over to Wanda along with the twenty dollar bill. She grinned and gave you a thumbs up when she saw the top one.

“Thanks a million, Y/n.”

“You’re very welcome. Now can I go study?”

“Yes, you can. Did you want to grab dinner tonight?”

You shook your head. “I’m going to stay here until closing probably. I’ll see you back in the room.”

“Okay. But at least go get some snacks before you go in there.”

“I’m all stocked up. I’m good.”

“Good. I’ll see you later.”

“See ya. Bye, Piet. Bye, Bucky.”

You waved and hurried away to claim your carrel for the night.

The next two weeks flew by as papers and exams took over your life. But before you knew it, you had successfully navigated the midterms season of your final semester of college. You were in good spirits, and even the prospect of being single on Valentine’s Day couldn’t dampen them.

You picked up a bottle of sparkling wine, a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and a bag of mini donuts on your way home from class. You were looking forward to taking a long hot shower and settling in for a date with your neglected Netflix account for the rest of the weekend, and possibly your entire week off.

The last thing you were expecting was a doormat full of red carnations.

Vision really went all out.

You scooped up the bunches of flowers and unlocked the door. Inside, you set everything down on your desk before putting the ice cream and alcohol away.

They can wait until after a shower. You decided after eyeing the flowers.

You took your time in the shower, letting the hot water wash away the stress and anxiety from the last two weeks.

Your roommate was sitting on her bed typing when you stepped out of the bathroom.

“Hey, Wanda.”  

“Oh hey, Y/n. How’d your exam go?”

“Pretty well I think. I felt like I knew everything they covered, but we’ll see. But it’s over with so I’m not going to worry about it.”

“That’s a good attitude.”

“You know, you’ve got a really supportive boyfriend,” you remarked as you sat down at your desk.

“What makes you say that?” she asked, cocking her head at you.

“I mean he bought all those carnations for the fundraiser.”

You gestured to the pile of carnations.

“Viz didn’t buy those. They’re for you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I took mine.” She pointed to the small bouquet occupying an old cookie tin.

You quickly sorted through the predominantly red bundle. The few white ones were from your friends – Wanda, Nat, Pietro, and Thor. But what you hadn’t realized was that the remaining red ones – all two dozen of them - were bound together.

You flipped over the tag attached and read it to yourself.

To: Y/n

Happy Valentine’s Day!

These carnations aren’t nearly as beautiful as you, but I hope they make you smile anyways.

I couldn’t quite find the words in person, but I’d really like to take you out.

If you’re up for it, meet me in front of the fountain at 8:00.

-          Your Secret Admirer

“Who are they from?” she asked with a knowing smile.

“It just says a secret admirer. This has to be a prank,” you frowned.  

“Why would it be a prank?”

“I mean, who would have a crush on me. Brock or someone is probably trying to get me there and then I’m going to end up on youtube, Loser Gets Stood Up on Valentine’s Day. It’ll be ten minutes of jump cuts of  me standing alone set to Wii music.”

“That’s a tad cynical don’t you think? Besides I have it on good authority that they’re really from someone with a crush on you.”

“Whose authority?”

“Mine. He bought them from me.”

“Who is it?”

Wanda shook her head.

“Can’t tell you. Flower gram seller/buyer confidentiality.”

“Not a thing,” you grumbled. 

“Y/n, trust me. This isn’t a prank. And you’ll be glad you went. I promise.”

“Okay. I trust you.”

And you did. She would never lie to you or set you up to be embarrassed.

“So what do I do?”

“Put on your prettiest dress and meet your Prince Charming, naturally.”

You glanced at the clock. It was nearly seven.

“Will you help me?”

“Of course.”

In a surprisingly short amount of time, Wanda had helped you pick out a dress and shoes and helped you with your makeup. At 7:55 you found yourself walking across campus towards the fountain in the quad. You hugged your black and white peacoat more tightly around you, grateful for the headband you’d grabbed on your way out the door and the black tights you’d decided to wear.

 You hesitated a few yards away from the back of the fountain. There were a few people milling about and you were trying to see if you could recognize anyone. You caught sight of someone dressed in all black in front of the fountain, holding a bouquet of red roses and checking their watch but you couldn’t quite make out who it was.

Taking a deep breath, you walked closer gasping when you saw their face.

Bucky?

You nearly turned tail and ran, but he turned and spotted you. The smile that bloomed on his face quelled your nerves and before you knew it your feet had carried you to him.

“You came.”

“I came.”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome.”

He extended the flowers to you.

“These are for you.”

“They’re beautiful, Bucky. You really didn’t have to. The carnations were more than enough.”

“I know but red roses are your favorite.”

You cocked your head, surprised by the matter of fact statement.

“You mentioned it once when we were all watching a movie.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I remember lots of things about you, doll. Shall we get going?” he asked offering you his elbow.

“We shall.” You slipped your arm through his. “What is on the itinerary?”

“Dinner at the Hub. And then I thought we could see a movie.”  

“Sounds perfect.”

Dinner was delicious and you loved how easy it was to talk to Bucky. You’d never hung out one on one before, but he was quick witted and smart and the few silences you had were companionable. You took an Uber to the movies, but decided to walk home afterwards.  

Warmth spread through you when he grabbed your hand.

“Did you know that it was me?”

You shook your head, smiling shyly. “No. But I hoped.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’ve kind of had a crush on you for a while,” you admitted.  

“I’ve had a crush on you for a while too. The team knew and kept trying to get me to say something but I thought you were out of my league. But then I saw you’d sent me carnations and I got my hopes up.”

“Isn’t it lucky you guys held a flowergram fundraiser.”

“Yeah, lucky.” Bucky’s cheeks tinged even pinker in the cold.

 You smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Whose idea was the fundraiser, Bucky?”

“You know I don’t really remember.” 

“Bucky,” you drawled his name. 

“Alright, mine. I figured even if you didn’t like me. I’d get to give you flowers, and you absolutely deserve flowers.”

“You’re too sweet, you know. And I’m very flattered you planned a whole fundraiser around me.”

“A very successful fundraiser,” he pointed out, taking a step closer to you.

“I bet.”

You grinned up at him.

“Can I kiss you, doll?”

You nodded eagerly. His lips were soft as they pressed against yours and your fingers clutched at the lapels of his jacket.

“Happy Valentine’s, Bucky,” you whispered against his lips.

“Happy Valentine’s, Doll,” he whispered back before kissing you.

And it was. 

 A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! 

Bucky/Sebastian Tag List 

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[teamhook]

Chaste Love :|: CSMM

This is my first submission for the @captainswanmoviemarathon

Thanks to everyone in the Discord for letting me bounce ideas and for all the help.

Thanks to @xhookswenchx for Beta services :)

The story is loosely inspired by The 40 Year Old Virgin it will not be a retell of the movie. I hope you guys enjoy reading it.

~~

Summary: True love is hard to find. Especially when you're a socially awkward virgin who's thirty-five and has an action-figure collection.

When Killian's friends discover his secret, they try to get him laid. But while all their efforts fail, Killian is already smitten by a blonde single mother who shows up at his doorstep one day.

After he finally musters the courage to take her on a date, Emma is quick to get her "happy ending," but Killian is too much of a gentleman to take things too fast. Especially since he's reluctant to tell her he's a virgin.

AO3 or FFN

Chaste Love

The Italian restaurant was quaint with amazing pasta to wood-fired pizza that his brother found online and  recommended. The eatery's kind owner, Marco Geppetto. greeted his patrons at the door.

Killian sat nervously as he waited for his date to return from the loo.

His brother Liam had begged him to try to meet someone, a nice young lass. 'Killian just try a dating app. Isn't that what all the young kids are doing?' His brother had joked on their weekly call.

He promised his brother for peace of mind he would, and here he was. He was a man of honor after all. The girl's profile seemed nice enough on the website but sitting in front of him was the complete opposite.

What was her name? Bloody hell, he couldn't remember. It was something like Laney.

He only smiled as he heard her talking about work and her coworkers.

The date soon came to an end. “So, can we go back to your place?” She asked as she bit her bottom lip. “Since I saw your profile I've been wanting to go home with you.” she purred as she rubbed his foot underneath the table.

Killian paled as he stammered. “Isn't it too soon? It’s only our first date after all.”

"Come on, let's go to your place and we can work out the food we just ate." She smiled.

“I think we should get to know each other first. You are a lovely lass and I’m not saying I’m not interested” he blushed “I’d be a fool not to be but-” he was interrupted.

“Look I don’t need you to be all gentleman-y. I’m a big girl and I know what I want. So take me home with you.”

She was persistent. “I live nearby, I walked here.”   

He had insisted that they should meet at the restaurant. He had walked from his place since it was a block away.  

“My car is outside but walking would be nice.” She didn’t want to mention the little fact that it had an ignition interlock device. 

He paid for their dinner and soon they were out the door. She grabbed his hand “lead the way.”

The walk had been nice. There was small talk but the closer they got to his place the more his nerves rose.

They arrived at his apartment and he quickly unlocked the door. She entered the clean space. She looked around the living room. 

“Please make yourself comfortable.” Killian indicated.

He rushed towards the bedroom to ensure it was clean. Killian slowed his breathing and went back to the living room. 

“Lass, would you like a beverage?” He still couldn’t be sure of her name.

She turned to look at him and smiled. “I didn’t know you had kids, your profile didn’t say so.” 

“I don’t have kids, why would you think so?”

“Oh, I just assumed since there are so many dolls.”

Killian blushed with embarrassment. “They are not dolls lass, they are action figures, collectibles.”

“Why do you keep calling me lass? My name is Lacey. I mean we were about to have sex for crying out loud.”

“We were?”

She laughed. “You are not seriously thinking we still are? What kind of man your age still plays with dolls?”

“I do not play with them. They’re collectibles. You are not exactly who you claimed to be in your profile, lass.” 

Lacey scoffed at him and eagerly left him home alone.

The day after his disastrous date he woke up with a common affliction most men do. The morning wood. He sighed and debated if perhaps a strenuous workout would free him from the need and make it go away. It didn't. A cold bracing shower finally did the trick, he was able to enjoy a healthy breakfast then finish getting himself ready for work. 

There was a sudden knock on his door and was surprised since he was not expecting anyone. He opened the door to be greeted by long luminous blonde hair, red leather jacket, tight jeans, black boots, sheer white blouse, and bright green eyes met his blue ones, once his perusal ended. He blushed as he realized what he had been doing.  

“Sorry to bother you but I’m looking for Lacey French.”

“I’m sorry lass but why would she be here?”

“I know there was a date last night. Is she in the bedroom?” She tried to push her way inside his place.

Killian stiffened and didn’t allow her entrance. “Lass, no one is here. I’m on my way to work and I’m running late now.”

“Look, your little girlfriend jumped bail and I’m just doing my job.” She forcibly pushed her way in.

“She’s not my girlfriend, I just met her.” He shuffled his feet nervously as she raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Fine, you don’t believe me. Look around but make it fast. I’m really late now.” His heart pounded fast as he scratched behind his ear while she looked around his place.

The lass nodded as she made her way through the tidy place. “Wow, you have a lot of dolls for a grown man.”

Killian’s jaw clenched. “They are not dolls.”

She laughed as she had made her way back from inspecting the rest of the place. “I know they’re not. I was just teasing you.”

Killian raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Sorry to have bothered you, here’s my card. Please, call me if Lacey reaches out to you. Her dad put up her bail, and he is really worried about her.”

Killian grabbed the card and read her name out loud, “Emma Swan.” He couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on his face. 

He was late to work. He was the last one to arrive and rushed to his little section. 

He worked at the local electronic/appliance store in the small town. They sold everything from appliances, computers, and TVs. They even did special orders for their customers. The owner was an older woman that got the business from her dying mother’s estate when she passed away from a freak attack by her dogs. She was a decent looking woman but she was his boss. She would use any excuse to touch him and flirt with him. His coworkers teased him endlessly because she was into him and that he should go for it. That maybe if she got lucky they would all get lucky with a pay increase or a bonus. Ah, but he knew it wasn’t just him. It was all of them. She was handsy and inappropriate. She really enjoyed seeing his cheeks redden by her comments.

It was going to be a long day. He walked into the store and headed to the back room. Maybe his tardiness would go unnoticed. He had almost made it, he was so close.

“Hey, Killian. So I want to hear all the dirty little details about your date. Was she hot? Please, tell me she was a naughty librarian…” 

“Arthur,” Killian paused for a second as he interrupted his coworker, “I’m a gentleman and a gentleman never tells.”

“Come on! I want details, I saw her profile and you know what they say about the quiet ones.” Arthur’s eyebrows wiggled.

Killian grimaced at his coworker when a voice interrupted his thoughts. “Hello darlings,” Killian and Arthur cringed at the purr in her voice. 

Arthur forced a smile for their boss, “Cruella, lovely as ever but I really should be getting to work.” 

“Oh darling, please don’t rush on my account.” She blocked him from leaving. “You know, I wouldn’t object to getting caught in the middle of this stubble sandwich.” She waved her hand between the two of them. 

Arthur glanced at Killian as they shared an uncomfortable look. Killian cleared his throat. “Good morning, Cruella. I’m a little behind on my work.” He pointed at his workstation.

“Oh, my darling Killian, you work too hard. Besides I’ve told you many times before that if you need to put in an extra hour or so, I’m willing to stay later to keep you company.” She inched closer to him. 

Arthur had made his escape, as Cruella’s attention was completely focused on Killian. 

The day is like any other day. He is so consumed by his work he misses his lunch break. Rushing out of his workstation to leave for the day, he tries to swiftly sneak out without notice. The upside was that Cruella was a creature of habit. It was a known fact that she locked herself in her office the last hour of the workday. While she was distracted in her office, he escaped. 

When Killian finally arrived home, he ate his dinner. He followed his usual routine to the “T”. His thoughts briefly drifted to the bounty hunter and wondered if she caught her prey.

The days seemed to blend together. On one of those very typical days, he was surprised by his co-workers’ invitation. “Jones, come here,” David called out to him. There were some whispers and murmurs from the rest of the men.

He cautiously approached them. “Hello, Dave.” When his eyes drifted to Arthur, Leroy grumbled his protest. Robin smiled, “Mate, we were wondering if you would like to join us for our weekly poker game? My cousin, Will, is our regular but he finally found a girl that puts up with him so he can’t join us. How about it?” 

Killian looked at the group and knew he should decline. He was about to decline when he noticed Robin and David giving him an encouraging nod, and somehow the wrong words came out of his mouth. “Sure, I’d love to.” He was going to have to look up youtube videos on how to play poker or pick up a copy of Poker for Dummies. “When is game night?”

“We know it’s a bit of a short notice,” David sighed. “But it’s tonight.” 

“That’s okay,” Killian said with a smile. “I’ll be there.” 

David and Robin smiled and Arthur nodded begrudgingly. After giving Killian all the details, they went back to work. Killian went home and did some fast research about poker. Youtube was truly a lifesaver. After viewing too many videos on how to play poker for dummies, he felt like he was ready. Granted, it didn’t make him an instant expert, but he believed he could handle himself.

He looked in the mirror and freshened up. After finding a stain on his shirt, he made the last-minute decision to change it. A thought crossed his mind; he should stop at the store for some lager and crisps for his friends. Liam would be horrified if he arrived empty-handed. 

They played for hours and his coworkers didn’t seem to mind he wasn’t any good. They were playing for money, so there was that. His loss was their gain. Sadly, there had been liquor, which got the men talking about their loves…

David mentioned his high school sweetheart and hoped to marry her soon, Arthur still pined for his ex, Gwen, Leroy is happily married to a nice woman, Astrid, and Robin is married with a small son. That’s when they turn their attention to him.

Killian nervously shifted in his seat, his face coloring a bright shade of red. 

Arthur laughed mercilessly. “Please, tell me you’re not a virgin.”

Robin, David, and Leroy stared at Killian. 

“Of course not, I’ve had many dalliances before,” Killian answered as fast as he could.

Arthur stared at him. “Prove it.”

This time, David couldn’t stay quiet. “Please, ignore him, Killian. He’s drunk.”

“I’m just teasing. You and Robin are too overprotective. It’s not a big deal. If you are, we can take you out and get you laid, and if you’re not, well good for you.” Arthur smiled wickedly at him. 

The night ended in awkward silence.

@hookedonapirate @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked@profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines @revanmeetra87@snowbellewells@hollyethecurious@kymbersmith-90@branlovestowrite@thejollyroger-writer@shireness-says@ilovemesomekillianjones@thisonesatellite@thesschesthair@winterbythesea@stahlop@resident-of-storybrooke@superchocovian@lfh1226-linda@artistic-writer@thislassishooked@shardminds@winterbaby89@xhookswenchx@ultraluckycatnd@gingerchangeling@laschatzi@wellhellotragic@xemmaloveskillianx@courtorderedcake@pirateherokillian@optomisticgirl@darkcolinodonorgasm@sherlockianwhovian @andiirivera @djlbg @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @scientificapricot @officerrogers @imlaxdris71 @therealstartraveller776 @kday426  @lassluna

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Box Boy: Kauri

Credit for the whole concept here to @sweetwhumpandhellacomf, plus thanks to @shameless-whumper for being cool with me utilizing their ideas and characters for this!

And of course my thanks to you, you filthy enablers, for always being here to tell me to write the new worst thing I’ve thought of that day. Thanks to @dr-dendritic-trees and @iaminamoodymoodtoday for name choices!

I’ll just tag people who have been asked to be tagged in other things: @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @special-spicy-chicken, @finder-of-rings, @whumpywhumper

P.S. I’m working on the dubcon Danny drabble too so I may get that up within the next couple of days!

CW: Implied noncon, intimate whumper, 

“Shit, I think that’s a new water bottle. Kauri, hold up, do you think this is a new one?”

Kauri drops into a crouch, tilting his head to look at the laptop set up on Owen’s coffee table. “I’m not sure, Mr. Owen.” Owen’s mouth widens a little further into a smile - he likes when Kauri calls him Mr. Owen, like a term of respect. Kauri had known when he left the box that it could be anything - you call them whatever they want to be called - and it could have been different, harder to say out loud, than something as easy as Mr. Owen. “It looks the same as the one you already have?”

He’d been warned his new owner would not want him to talk, but Owen doesn’t seem to care. He lives by himself in this whole big place - a condo, Kauri thinks, but the word doesn’t always stick, it bounces around and dances out and falls right out one ear if he tries to focus on it for too long. Owen lives alone, and that’s why he got Kauri, for companionship.

For company.

Jesus Christ, like my very own combination Martha Stewart and blow-up doll. Except that’d be the grossest fucking blow-up doll in the world. You’re really pretty, though. Are they all pretty?

I d-don’t know, Mr. Owen. I can’t remember-

I bet they are. I wonder how they get so many pretty people to sign up for this.

“No, this one is definitely new. See? I think he changed the logo, since he got his boy.”

Kauri might hesitate - even tense a little - but Owen doesn’t notice. “Right. So you’ll want to get it, then.” He still has the dustrag in one hand, and he nearly moves to stand, but Owen’s hand slides across the back of his neck to hold him, and Kauri instead shifts easily onto his knees on the floor, sitting on his heels. Position Two.

“I might. I don’t know. Do you think it’s worth it? I mean, I know they’re stainless steel, but he’s charging $24 a bottle.”

“You don’t care about money. Plus, you like watching him, Mr. Owen,” Kauri says, voice quiet. Owen’s hand slides up into his hair, catching in the black curls. When they told him he was going to leave, that he had been selected, he’d been told he was a custom order.

Curly black hair, blue eyes, thin build, not tall enough to be intimidating but tall enough to look good if Owen wanted to take him out. He was lucky he’d fit exactly what the customer was searching for.

He’s lucky.

The Roomba is hard at work across the room, and Kauri kind of likes the little thing - it’s like having a pet of his own - a pet with a pet - especially considering he routinely has to fish it out from under the entertainment center when it gets stuck and starts screaming for help.

Man, when they put the active learning language chip in Roombas, that was a game changer for sure, Owen had said when he introduced Kauri to it. The day he got his name. He’d had a number, before…

645898, wake up. 

645898 needs more time. 

645898, Position Twenty-Three.

645898, lights out.

Was there a name before the number, even? There’s something on the sheet of paper they’d given to Owen - the contract he’d signed. Kauri wasn’t allowed to see it, it was too distressing for Box Boys to see their contracts. Kauri can’t grip a pen super well - he gets shaky. 

It’s considered bad form to let a Box Boy see their old handwriting, because they’ll just get upset about how it doesn’t look the same any longer. But it’s not like Kauri even remembers what it looked like before. 

Things must have been really bad, for him to sign himself over, so really he’s grateful he has this opportunity. It’s like a fresh start, and all he has to do is whatever Owen tells him to do - and Owen’s one of the good ones, he thinks. Not that he has a comparison… but Owen is really, really nice compared to what Kauri, as 645898, had worried he’d get.

Owen was really concerned about the ethics, had asked Whumpees-R-Us to provide proof that Kauri - whoever he was, once upon a time - had signed himself over willingly and legally. Kauri was kind of proud that his owner cared so much about it being humane and ethical, because even in just the couple of months he’d been here, he’d seen Owen angrily typing posts out on message boards to owners that weren’t very good to their boys, telling them that you can’t buy real loyalty, real affection, you have to treat the pets right.

Other owners, Owen tells him all the time, are cruel.

He could have been sold to someone vicious or violent, but instead, the worst thing Owen does is make him watch the youtube channel for what must the loudest, most annoying human being on earth.

Not that Kauri knows any other human beings. He only knows Owen.

“Hey.” Kauri blinks, looking up at Owen, who is smiling down at him, the hand still in his hair, fingers running again and again through the curls. “You listening, Kauri?”

“I-I’m sorry, Mr. Owen, I got, um, distracted.”

“By what?”

Kauri’s not supposed to think about anything but now, and he feels himself tense, just a little. Even with Owen, who is nicer than he had any right to hope for, he couldn’t admit that he’d been trying to think again.

You’re an investment. You aren’t made to think. That’s not what I got you for, all right? I don’t mind the talking, I want you to talk. I need someone around me, here, I get pretty fucking lonely. But I don’t want you to think.

“The, um, I was thinking about the way your… the Host got a new boy. That’s all. It’s, um, it’s nice to see other ones.” 

It really had been. Owen had watched the videos with Kauri as they uploaded, excited that his favorite, absolute favorite YouTuber had picked one up, too. 

Lucky bastard got one for free and I had to pay for mine - but fuck it, that’s what the residuals for all that child acting I got pushed into are for, right? Millionaire before sixteen, cover of magazines, all that bullshit.

Had Kauri ever read a magazine? He couldn’t remember.

“Oh, cool. I was just thinking about that, too. You never watched the collar video with me, did you?”

“Um… n-no, Mr. Owen. Remember, we talked about how the, um, the shock collars make me uncomfortable-”

We have a situation with 645898.

645898, you will get in Position Twenty-Six, now, or you will regret it.

Get someone in here, 645898 threw up again.

“Right, right. But I want you to watch it with me, this time. I don’t like that you haven’t, I really want you to be a completionist on this with me.” Owen smiles at him, and Kauri smiles back, automatically. Owen’s smile is warm and wide, and Kauri’s is small and not quite forced, but it’s there.

It could be much worse. Sometimes Owen rants about how the people with pets hurt them, or burn them, in ways they can’t come back from. All Kauri has to do is take care of Owen, every way he wants taken care of. He’s always kind.

It could be so much worse.

Kauri is so grateful to him for being so kind, for caring so, so much about being principled. 

He signed himself over to be what he is now - he can’t remember it, but he knows it happened - and part of the risk you take is that you might get one of the owners who needs more than standard care. 

Owen pulls Kauri up by one arm, and he moves quickly, unfolding himself and then climbing up onto the couch, sitting with his legs across Owen’s lap and his arms around his shoulders, head tucked into the crook of his neck and turned to look down at the laptop, just the way Owen likes.

Across the room, the Roomba gets briefly trapped underneath a rocking chair, and screams three times - HELP, KAURI HELP, KAURI HELP, KAURI - before it gets itself back out and goes back to work.

There’s a part of Kauri that remembers screaming for help, but he’s not sure when he did it, or why. 

Owen finds the video he wants and presses play, sliding his arm around behind Kauri’s back.

Sometimes he thinks he hates that Owen touches him so much, but he can’t think of why he’d hate it, and he puts that hatred away in the dark somewhere else until he can’t find it again. It could be worse. Owen only hurt him sometimes, and then mostly only in ways you couldn’t see.

It could be so much worse.

Kauri watches the Host’s boy, with a hint of familiarity making him feel restless and uncertain. He knows the expressions too well - he probably has a few of them himself. The slight smile and tilt of the head things you don’t have on your own, they’re given to you, trained in. Like the positions, only your owners don’t get to know what the expressions are called.

“Now, see, you already have that one,” Owen says, his voice a low rumble against the side of Kauri’s ear, as he points at the Host’s boy trying on a plain brown leather collar. Kauri swallows hard as he watches the host tighten, and tighten and tighten it.

Then complain that it doesn’t tighten enough.

“Yeah, I didn’t like that one, either,” Owen murmurs, as though he hasn’t watched this video a thousand times already. “Here, look, look at this one - the chain link one.”

Kauri looks, obediently, and tries not to think about the heavy metal weight around his own throat. His didn’t come from the same place - Owen had custom-ordered his collar from a jewelry store and it cost nearly as much as he did, a heavy weighted white gold chain set with dark blue stones that matched the color of his eyes, with his name on a little tag that hung off a small gold ring on the front, Owen’s contact details on the other side. 

Look, I’m never letting you out of my sight, you’re a big investment piece and I’m not going to lose all this money. But still. Just in case you get lost, buddy, this will help the cops know how to bring you back home to me.

It unlocks with some kind of key, but Kauri’s never seen the key - he only felt the lock click into place when Owen put it on him, and it’s never come off again.

Kauri’s muscles lock when the Host and his boy try the shock collar - he remembers those, he thinks, the training for those went on and on and blurs together in his mind. 645898, you signed up for this, this was your decision. You legally consented to everything that happens in this building, and you know it.

645898, you are being very disappointing today.

“You okay, Kauri?” Owen murmurs, turning to press a kiss into the top of his head, tightening the arm that goes around his back. Kauri tries to curl himself up on Owen’s lap even further, because that is what he wants him to do, and if he doesn’t have to be commanded sometimes he can sort of fool himself that he wants it, too.

On the screen, the Host’s boy is wearing a collar with small metal prongs that press hard into his neck. “It hurts,” The Host’s boy says, in a stiff voice, every inch of his posture rigid with pain.

Someone get 687371 out of here, he’s causing a scene

Shit, someone get 645898 out of the way, 687371 is having a moment again

687371, lights fucking out for you

The Host pulled on a chain attached to the pronged collar, on the screen, and the boy’s hands snapped up to grab the leash. “Don’t-”

Don’t-… let go of me! Let go! Get your fucking hands off me!

The scene cut to something else.

Kauri froze, staring sightlessly, until Owen finally noticed the tension in him and shifted forward to turn off the video. “Hey, was that too much?” His voice was low, and compassionate.

“I know him,” Kauri whispered, lips barely moving.

“What? Yeah, you’ve seen the other videos with Colton in them, remember?” Owen reached up to take Kauri by the chin, tilting it up to look right at him, to look into his eyes. “What do you mean, you know him?”

“I saw him in training. We were in training together,” Kauri says softly, and it never occurs to him to lie. There are things he lies to Owen about - what he’s thinking, the way he hates how Owen eats spaghetti with about a pound of grated parmesan on it, that he drinks terrible coffee and someone with so much money should at least have better taste than that - but now, in this moment, he doesn’t lie.

He doesn’t have to.

“Shit, really?” Owen’s eyes light up, and he pushes Kauri roughly off of him, nearly knocking him to the ground until he catches himself on the coffee table. “Fuck, that’s great! That’s really great, Kauri! That’s awesome!”

“It… it is?” Kauri stands, warily, but Owen doesn’t tell him not to or order him into any positions. 

“Sure! Yes! It gives me an in, Kor-bore, I’ve wanted an in since I started watching this guy. Look, he’s got contact info linked in the video description, maybe I can just… you said you know his boy?”

“I don’t… I’m sorry, I meant that I recognized-”

“No, I get it, you’re not supposed to say you knew each other.”

“We didn’t.” Kauri hesitates, shifting from foot to foot, glancing down at the screen where Owen has paused the video, opened up his email, begun rapidly typing. “We didn’t know each other. There were… faces.”

Let go of me! Please!

“Right, right.” Owen waves one hand. “Here, I’m going to ask if he’d be up for playdates or some shit. I’ll just… I’ll just add in here that I was an actor, that I was in… do you think he’ll remember Swing for the Stars or Toast better? Those were my two really big blockbusters.” 

“I, um… Mr. Owen, I don’t-”

“Oh, right, because you don’t remember movies anymore. Got it. I’ll just list ‘em both. Oh, and add Dimmer Switch, that kind of horror didn’t play so well here but it’s kind of a cult movie now and it did fucknuts well overseas… Let’s see what he says.” Owen shoots a smile at him, truly pleased, and Kauri’s shoulders relax, instinctively, automatically.

There’s a pause while Owen finishes his email and sends it.

“Hey, Kor-Bore.”

“Yes, Mr. Owen?” Kauri, already heading back to the bookshelves full of movies to dust, pauses, and looks back. Owen watches him with a look Kauri knows too well, and he swallows against the instinctive sickness that settles into the pit of his stomach, the thing he can’t quite get rid of. The collar sits heavy around his neck, and he thinks, once again, that he’s not sure when he signed that paper that he knew he was signing up for this.

“I know you’re busy cleaning, but let’s take a break, yeah?”

Kauri swallows, and slowly nods, setting the dustrag down on the bookshelf. He turns around, fingertips going to the buttons on his shirt, and waits, his blue eyes settling on Owen’s, thoughtful and empty.

“Position Twenty-Six.”

Kauri’s hands drop from his shirt. “T-Twenty-Six, Mr. Owen?”

“You heard me. You don’t have to deal with the buttons, Kauri, I can handle that.”

“Yes, Mr. Owen.” Kauri shifts onto his knees on the floor, in the middle of Owen’s living room, and slides his arms behind his back, knees spread apart digging into the fibers of the carpet beneath him, and tilts his head back so he’s looking up at the cool brown wood of the ceiling fan, neck exposed.

He doesn’t tense up when Owen’s fingers start undoing the buttons on his shirt.

Owen told him all the time - some owners really hurt their Box Boys. And whatever he had come from - whatever life he’d been living that led him to sign himself over - must have been really, really terrible.

He’s really very lucky.

There won’t even be bruises when Owen is done.

645898, do you know how fortunate you are?

It could have been so much worse for you.

In the corner, the Roomba starts screaming again. Owen throws a shoe at it to shut it up as he gets to his feet but his shoe thumps into the wall instead, and Kauri keeps his eyes focused on the ceiling until the clockwork motion of the ceiling fan is all that he can see.

HELP, KAURI

HELP, KAURI

HELP

KAURI

[blackevermore]

x Wonka Stripper AU short

@fudgemallows @ataristars-blog @ladybugismad

[ this is very rough but its an idea starter! also listen to either of this songs to set the mood ] 

x  SEVDALIZA - HUMAN

x  SEVDALIZA - BLUECID

x FkaTwigs -  mary magdalene

"Only for the night and then after that, we'll doing whatever you want!"

That's what you're best friend promised you as they pried you from your blankets in bed. It had been a very shitty day starting with you being late to work to a big fight with your partner that resulted in a messy breakup. You thought after a few hours of cooling off, you would be the bigger person and apologize, but when you tried to, they block you on everything. Since 3 pm you've been huddled up in your bed watching stupid youtube videos trying to think of other things. None of it was working and that made you even more bumped out. That's when your bestie friend started blowing up your phone asking you what was wrong, who they had to throw hands with, when did you ex get off so they could fight them behind a McDonald's. You told them what happen and as soon as you could send your long reply, they were already twisting the knob to your bedroom door and walking in.

"A strip club is not a coping method."

"No it's not, it's actually a terrible one, but I don't want to go alone, and our other friend bailed out on me. Please!" They begged as they tried to pull the blanket away

"No." You grumbled trying to pull your only safe haven back.

"Please!"

"No..."

"PLEASE!"

"NO!"

Had you firmly put your foot down, you wouldn't have been all dressed up and now standing in the lobby of a very expensive strip club. Your bestie spilling 'thank you' and 'I'll make it up to you later' on to you and you just nodded and rolled your eyes. You walked through the dimly lit club, trying to keep to yourself as much as possible. The idea of half-naked people didn't phase you. But actually having to be around visible boobs and dicks made you feel like a saint in a sinner's gathering. You tug on your clothes a bit not sure if you're trying to fan yourself or cover. The dancers were all very much attractive. It was a co-gender club that serviced any and everyone. Some even had themes going on the ranged from gothic baby dolls to storybook characters like the Mad Hatter. For a moment you get distracted by the sight of a very grumpy looking male dancer dressed in a shiny black mini dress and black and white hair standing on the main stage with one black heeled foot on a man's shoulder. He blows smoke in a male customer's face then kicks the man back before walking away towards the curtains in the back.  Your best friend giggles and pulls you along to a booth like a set of chairs that face the second main stage.

"This is going to be good! I heard the dancer they got only comes out when the money is right." They clap their hands and smile.

"So this was a planned trip?" You ask still looking around to all the other dancers and customers interacting. You felt somewhat better now that you were sitting down and away from people. 

"Yeah but since you know who didn't want to come, I had to get you up and adam to come along." You wanted to state once more how this was a bad idea; that it wasn't helping your situation, but before you could get the words out the lights shifted towards the stage, and a voice came across the intercoms.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the Depths for an extraordinary nightly gathering. Tonight you are the luckiest of them all, and for a few nights only, you get to see, the one, the only, Wonka." The voice slurred the name and the curtains slowly opened up to someone sitting in a chair facing away from the audience. Slow, haunting music started to play, and the room became quiet. Other dancers took their seats as well to watch the performance out of respect. Your friend was bubbling beside you, ready to jump out of their seat. You didn't understand until a spotlight ran across the room then up towards the dancer on stage. 

When the female voice came through the speakers, you felt a shiver slide down your spine as beautiful long and sculpted legs shot open. They wore tall black heels with red bottoms that made the muscles in their legs pop, and you couldn't stop looking as their long gloved hand ran itself from their ankles up towards their thighs. They wore a long silk black duster that dared to fall from their lean but toned shoulders. They turned their head slightly, and the sharpness of their cheekbones made you gasp a bit. You thought it was a woman, but once the dancer rose from the chair and turned around, you knew it had to be venus as a man. The short dark brown bob haircut framed his face nicely. His lips were red, and his eyes were framed in shadows that made his intoxicating purple eyes stand out. He threw a leg onto the chair and ran another hand up to his thigh and rolled his head back to the music. 

He sang along to the song as he worked around the chair gracefully and full of sex. Finally, the duster fell from his shoulders and you saw he was wearing a dazzling purple corset that matched his eyes. He dropped into a squat in front of the chair and swayed back and forth as he ran a hand up his chest and behind his neck. When he acted out a moan, the people in the chairs around you whistled. You were on the edge fo your seat waiting for what was to come. You've never had this much attention placed on a single person before. Let alone ever thought of going to a strip club and looking at a male dancer all dolled up. He rose back up slowly, making sure everyone was too entranced with the way his body rolled back and kicked the chair back with his heels.

The music changed to a more intense rhythm, and the dancer walked forward, still singing along. You hadn't even noticed the pole at the edge of the stage until he grabbed it and walked around it a few times. It was so dangerously close to were you sat, you could see his face better and you held your breath. The makeup, the shape of his face, his eyes, his body from his broad shoulders to his tight waist, all the way down to his long legs. It was too much to handle yet you were ready to hold on to every moment of it. He dropped to a squat again, but this time he poked his ass out and shook it. Your friend was screaming behind their hands. 

You were in shock. You felt like you've forgotten how to breath as he shot back up and just in time with the music, kicked a leg back then forward to climb into an upside-down split. When he did that, your heart jumped towards your throat. The flex of his muscle to keep him steady shinned in the light and god you wanted to reach out and touch him. With how close he was to you, it was tempting. The sweat that slid down their body made them glisten, and you weren't too sure how long the itching feel in your hand would stay put.  

[aoikawa]

I’ve been awfully inactive in the past few weeks since they’ve been hell so I’m just gonna vent under the cut pls ignore me ^^;

I’m honestly at my lowest? I’m pretty much stuck in everything and I feel at my shittiest since it all began which is more than 4 years ago. I’m honestly glad it all got better after that horrible first few months but since it never really went away I’ve just kind of gone with the flow up until now, and it’s starting to feel like I can’t go any further on my own (which is super distressing since my shitty personality is the one to blame, I was the one not being able to properly respond to life, I’ve always been, and throwing my problems at other people is just---) I’m so tired and I’ve taken more headache medicine in the past two weeks than I did in the previous two years, and even then my brain feels like it’s about to explode and like I have a fever 24/7. I try to study since that’s the only thing I can do with no job and no degree, but nothing will stick to my brain, I just read and repeat and then forget, I feel stupid. I’ve passed complicated exams in the past and now I can’t even remeber a couple of dates... I’m taking tutoring lessions, I went there like 6 times and cried my eyes out in 5 of them, the teacher is super nice and doesn’t pressure me but I just explode. The last time was today, I basically entered the room, sat down and started crying. She basically went full-on therapist for me and ‘forced’ me to say everything (well not everything but yeah) that’s keeping me stuck and refused to make me pay for my lesson. She told me stuff people on the internet have always told me, even a few of you guys the last time I tried to reach out (but then disappeared because I’m shitty like that I’m so sorry), that I do need help and that I need to talk to my doctor, that my family ought to understand that I need help if I take his opinion to them; that there’s cheap therapy available via national healthcare if they still don’t and I have to do things on my own, especially at first, so I’ll try to find an excuse to go to my doctor’s w/out telling my mom in the next few days. She reminded me that panic attacks and other symptoms just don’t magically disappear but have to be cured. I had my last big one two weeks ago (it was the reason I became inactive on here to begin with) and I’m still trying to recover, It was 4am and I felt like I was going crazy and that scared me a lot, my brain wouldn’t stop screaming ‘i don’t want to be here’ on loop (it reminded me of that one time 4 years ago when everything was at its worst, I spent almost a full hour in class writing ‘FUCK’ on my notebook and by the end of it I couldn’t even understand where I was anymore, so making the comparison was really scary itself). I do everything slowly but my pace has become even slower after this last one. And I’m just so tired. All I want is sleep but I can’t fall asleep at night because my brain won’t stop, so I oversleep in the morning and everyday I wake up to my mom screaming I’m lazy and useless and that I should study, and that she won’t pay for my tuition if I don’t pass this time, that I never do nothing at home and only stay in bed. The other day I fell asleep crying, only to wake up and starting crying again cause she was shouting at me. I’m tired my sister doesn’t defend me when she’s here, but instead joins in in the attacking. I’m tired my brain makes fun of me by making me crave to ask my friend for help and, at the same time, tormenting me with thoughts of how I’d just bother her and make her hate me and definitely abandon me for her new friends she can actually have fun with. I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m tired. My niece is my only light. She drew a picture of me the other day in kindergarten and brought it home to me and I had to fight back the tears, she’s so nice. She always sees me at my lowest (pajamas, no makeup, dirty hair, in bed, making excuses to stay in my room, fighting with my mom) and reaches for me anyway. She’s so genuinely happy when she sees me getting dressed and do my make up. She drew me with eyeshadow, a purple dress and high heels. We were playing the other day and I made her chase me around the table for a good 7/8 minutes, I was laughing the whole time and she was too, she knew she could easily end the game by turning around and facing me but didn’t. By the end of it I couldn’t even breathe anymore and my head was spinning but I was still laughing, and she stopped and asked me “Did you have fun?” with this huge smile on her face and I just--- she’s life. I’m so happy she exists. I’m so happy I chose her as my reason for going on when I was feeling like I had no reason to; even now, seeing her like this makes me think that deep down, it was worth it, even if I don’t see it in myself.

[buttdawg]

I'm still pissed about Jim Cornette, so I guess I'll write about it here.

I listened to his podcast yesterday to see if there would be any contrition over his Ethiopia joke, and there really wasn't. The closest he got was to express regret for distracting attention away from NWA, which he seems to sincerrly wish to support. Then he offered this conditional apology based on how people reacted to what he said:

1) If you disliked his joke and thought it was in poor taste, he apologizes for what he said.

2) If you're Black and found it offensive, he didn't intend for it to be racist.

3) If you're outraged by what he said, beyond what he thinks is reasonable for a situation like this, then you can fuck off, because he never cared what you think of him anyway.

That's just bullshit, and I'm gonna tell you why. In the same podcast, he admits that he has anger management issues. He's gone on record as saying that if there was a way to do it legally, he would murder Vince Russo in cold blood. He carries a lifelong grudge against Kenny Omega because he wrestled an inflatable doll in Japan several years ago. And yet this guy has the temerity to complain when he thinks people are overreacting to him. "Whoa, whoa, come on, people, it was just a joke. Why are you so bent out of shape over this?" Well the blow up doll was a joke too, but you still want Kenny Omega run out of the wrestling business for it.

I've been listening to a few Cornette podcasts since AEW started, mostly because they were free on YouTube, and because Corny's a lot easier to listen to than the schmucks at Wrestling Observer. I found a lot of his hatred towards AEW unfair, but occasionally he made some valid points. Like the Cody/Dustin vs Young Bucks match going too long. He said it felt like they did three shorter matches in one, and the first leg was the best of the three, so they would have been smarter to wrap it up early and end on a high note. When he said that, I was like "Hey yeah," because I felt the same way but I couldn't put it into words at the time.

But mostly he just hates AEW for the unforgivable crime of existing in spite of his complaints. He respects and likes maybe a third of its talent, but he can't seem to fathom why those guys put up with the two-thirds that he hates. Maybe it's because guys like Cody and Jericho and Hangman Page are smart enough to understand that they're good for business, even if they have different styles in the ring. Cornette's problem is that he's too brittle.

That, and he's a hypocrite. He keeps ragging on wrestlers for exposing the business and not looking enough like real athletes. He craps on guys like Joey Janela for not looking muscular enough, sort of like how he crapped on Kevin Steen before he went to WWE and became a multi-time champion. I'm sure Joey's terrified of suffering the same fate. One of Cornette's talking points is how they don't just sign anyone for the NBA, and they don't just bring fans in to play the Super Bowl because they want to. But that's stupid. Joey and Marko Stunt got signed to AEW. They're legit members of the roster, and they're over. The only downside to these guys is that they don't look like football players, except nobody cares about that, so it isn't a problem at all.

Cornette gripes and gripes about professionalism in wrestling, and how there's no room for cheap gimmicks or bad comedy, except his entire decades-long career in wrestling has been spent acting as an insult comic with a loud suit and a tennis racket. He's probably mad at Kenny Omega for wrestling the blow-up doll because he kind of looks like a blow-up doll, so maybe he took it personally. He cries about kayfabe and protecting the business at all costs, and then he uses every opportunity he has to bury wrestlers and air all the dirty laundry from backstage. Every episode of NWA Powerrr had at least one instance of him bashing AEW as "cosplay" wrestling, which doesn't help anybody. If you don't watch AEW, you wouldn't know what he's talking about, and if you watch NWA and AEW, then he's insulting your taste. It's bad announcing, pure and simple. He's only out there to push his own agenda, not the wrestlers.

I can give him a modicum of respect for resigning from NWA. According to his podcast, he only worked for them to help support their product, because he believes so much in what they're doing. But it's become clear that the controversey he generates is distracting the public from NWA's brand. I read a tweet from Nick Aldis this week where he was very diplomatic and expressed great regret for what Cornette had said. He said it didn't represent what he wanted NWA to be. I like Nick Aldis, because I can tell that he's trying as hard as he can to carry himself like the "Real World's Chamion" in the tradition of Ric Flair and Harley Race. I don't know if he's succeeding or not, but I respect the effort he's putting in, because he wants to make NWA special and he wants to be a champion in a way that Chris Jericho and Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt aren't. But as long as Cornette was associated with the brand, his efforts would always be undercut by whatever whackamaroo nonsense he says next.

So maybe Cornette had that in mind when he quit, but from his podcast, I got the sense that it's not like he needed the job, and it wasn't fun anymore, and he was getting fed up with the PR headaches. That explains why he was so flippant on NWA Powerrr. He was showing up to have fun and relive the old days. Nick Aldis ain't there to screw around. He's trying to build a better career for himself and his co-workers.

And it's that flippancy that pisses me off. Cornette stopped giving a fuck years ago, I guess because he's got a successful business selling merch and dvds of old matches and public appearances and such. He doesn't need to "protect the business" anymore because he's got his own business separate from any promotion. His gigs with MLW and NWA are a way for him to promote his stuff, so if he says something shitty on their air, it just drives up hits on his website. That's the worst possible scenario for a color commentator. Cornette cries foul because Excalibur wears a mask on AEW Dynamite, but at least Ex is concentrating on making AEW talent look good. He's not telling racist jokes to fill dead air, or to get more eyeballs on his website.

It's impossible for me to express how stupid that Ethiopia joke was. The racism was so obvious that it makes all the defenses of it especially flimsy. Cornette insists he was mocking starving people, like that makes it okay. He told the story of how he invented the joke and Ray Traylor thought it was hilarious in 1985, and TBS and USA never got in trouble for it, so that somehow makes it okay forever. Cornette's fans talk about how they think the joke's okay, simply because they thought it was funny, like that makes a bit of difference in a PR situation like this.

Then you see people cry about how "sensitive" everyone is these days. Like, no shit, that's how public relations works. If your business does something offensive enough, it hurts your brand and your business suffers. So you have to be mindful of people's sensitivity. Complaining about it is useless. That'd be like going on Twitter after the Notre Dame fire and saying "Wood sure is flammable these days." Well how does that solve anything, dumbass?

It's all a bunch of bullshit. Cornette's using thirty-year old jokes because a dead guy laughed at it once and he's too arrogant to re-evaluate it for the present day. He's mad at wrestling fans for objecting to his behavior, except they're the customers, for fuck's sake. I've never seen anyone so obsessed with protecting the business and simultaneously so insulting towards the people who pay for the product. He hates AEW because he doesn't approve of their methods. Except they do good business and can sell out buildings pretty regularly. There's clearly an audience for how AEW does things. You tell him that, and he'll respond that their audience doesn't count, because they're all 30 or 40 something single men who are probably virgins or they're lose interest when the next fad comes along. So it's not enough to sell out a venue, you have to get x percent old people and y percent women and z percent children, or whatever they used to draw in Mid South in 1987. Dave Meltzer likes AEW, so Cornette now thinks he's an idiot too, even though he's been covering wrestling for decades. He's trapped himself in this binary mindset where the only real wrestling fans are the ones who agree with him and approve of his dated jokes and out-of touch worldview. Everyone else deserves to be shot.

That's why NWA is better off without Cornette. They may not realize it, but he was never on their side, not really. Sooner or later they would have offended his rigid, inflexible sense of What Wrestling Should Be, and he'd turn on them too. At least this way, it's a clean break, and they don't have him talking about fried chicken during Nick Aldis matches or how Trevor Murdoch's beer gut is somehow more athletic than Kenny Omega in a Street Fighter costume.

[marzipanandminutiae]

First Monster High custom repainted and rerooted! She started out as a secondhand Frankie Stein from a local toy and comic shop and I got her with the intent to recreate an Arthur Rackham illustration of Queen Mab in doll form. Last spring, I wiped her and removed her original hair, airbrushed her face that parchment color, rerooted her head...and got distracted for several months. She sat like that with her still-green body on my radiator until today, when I finally felt motivated to power through and get her done.

She’s my first doll repaint in a long time, but not technically my first ever. I had a Dollfie Plus about ten years ago that I painted and repainted multiple times with all the grace and skill of a 14-year-old who can only sort of draw. So I had a bit of experience, and the benefit of a decade of improvement in my drawing skills. Also YouTube repaint videos. So, so many YouTube repaint videos.

There are a lot of things I’ll do differently next time, like keeping a kneaded eraser on hand, using sharper pencils, using pastels more for the shading, and trying to be more confident with my acrylic lines so they don’t come out as crooked. I’m still on the fence about my sealant choices; I’m using Liquitex matte medium and matte varnish diluted and airbrushed on since MSC just seems unnecessarily toxic. But if the quality difference really is that great, I might just suck it up and buy a can and a good respirator. It could also just be that changing skin tone makes it harder for the sealant to work. I’ll try it on one more custom and see.

(The blank circles in her eyes are pupils, not shines, and that was an artistic choice based on the original drawing. Just FYI.)

Anyway, now she needs her underdress, robe, and crown! More on those as they happen...

[winifredwoogie]

A Meme-thing!

I was tagged by @treason-and-plot to do this curious questionnaire. Since I’m sitting here at my desk trying to forget how hot it is, this seems like an excellent time to distract myself and respond :-D

What’s your favorite sims death?

Sims 3.. Hmmm...now that I think about it I do, Victor killing all the one jerk that beat up his girlfriend.  Although the death it’self wasn’t much I was happy the jerk was dead.   Sims 4...I had one of my sims go over to another sims house who’s son had murdered my sim’s daughter.  I had him kill her with mortification/embarrassment.  It amused me and gave me some satisfaction.  And one save I killed Mortimer Goth by over exertion because I wanted room in the house and he was in the way.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Sims 3 Alpha cc for sure.  Sims 4 Maxis match.  The two art styles of each game don’t always look good when used in game so I stick with what I find aesthetically pleasing and “correct” to me.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

Sometimes when it’s taking too damn long to get their weight down.  Now if only there was an actual cheat in real life...I could seriously use it right now!

Do you use move objects?

Yes.

Favorite mod?

NRAAS Master Controller for Sims 3. MC Command Center for Sims 3.  I can’t imagine the games with out them.  Bonus mod: Shimrod’s “Everything is Fine” and the “Less smiling” mod.  Seriously.

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

Sims 3...uh...I honestly can’t remember.  The first store bought world I remember getting is Monte Vista.  I love that world, it is really beautiful.

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Live...as in “alive”.  I’m not saying anything else.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I have a lot of sims that I have made over that are my favorites.  I like them all but for different reasons.

Have you made a simself?

Hell no.  I have enough ugly sims running around in my game, I really don’t want to look at another one ;-D.

What sim traits do you give yourself?

Grumpy, animal lover, artistic, perceptive and loner

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I don’t really have one. I know that in Sims 4 they REALLY need to add more colors or a way to customize the hair colors.

Favorite EA hair?

I don’t have one. It depends on the personality I’m giving the sim in either game.

Favorite life stage?

I don’t have a preference, depends on what I’m doing.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I am mostly for game play but I do enjoy decorating and sometimes building. The game is one of the things that helps keep me sane.

Are you a CC creator?

No. I am a collector.

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I interact with folks on line but I wouldn’t say I know them personally.  I am the type of person that will just observe...I guess at times I’m simply a “lurker”.  But I do enjoy seeing what other people are up to.

What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

I have only played TS3 and TS4 and I enjoy them both.  I would love to try TS2, I understand that it’s pretty awesome and has the better AI compared to the other versions.

Do you have any sims merch?

No.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

No.  I do like watching LPs and Speed Build videos before going to bed, there is something relaxing about it and I will zonk right out.

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I have a better understanding of both games but I still play the same: they are my digital doll houses and I play them as such with their own stories and lives...kind of like when I played with my real dolls as a child.

What’s your Origin ID?

Ah...that will remain a mystery, won’t it?

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Ah jeeze, there are several.  Sims 3 is InkWisteria (children’s hair), Cazy, Praline Sims, S-Club, Beaverhausen, Buckley, Brntwaffles, Rusty, kijiko..the list goes on. Sims 4: Most of the folks above, Ms. Blue, Screaming Mutard, LumiaLover, Kiarazurk, simplesimmer, ebonix, pinkzombiecupcake, Pyxis, RemusSirion, Golyhawhaw...the list goes on.  Seriously, I would have to copy and paste my mods folder.

How long have you had a simblr?

I think about a year and half?

How do you edit your pictures?

I use Picasa mostly to just adjust the contrast and sometimes the light.  I use SweetFx in TS4 so a lot of my editing is taken care of.  For TS3, I takes a bit more care.  

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

I own all the stuff for TS3.  For TS4, I own everything to date but what I am looking forward to is the Pets expansion.  This iteration is a different spin from the previous and I’m curious to see what they do with them and I miss having digital pets. I also want werewolves and witches added to the game.  So yeah...I’m waiting for a couple things.  I am not too worried about anything.

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

TS3 I besides loving Monte Vista, I really enjoy playing in Bridgeport and Moonlight Falls, I like the store bought worlds a lot too.  TS4...it’s just stuff added to the game so really not quite as exciting as a huge open world to expand in.