#got to sleep late bc of anxiety and woke up too early because i just suddenly got hit with a burst of adrenaline

[zakziki]

hhh

[sarcastically-defensive17]

can i request an imagine where calum & the reader are dating and she gets in a car accident & totals her car? and calum and the boys are in another car and see traffic is slowed bc of the accident and cal recognizes her car and asks them to pull over as she’s freaking out because the ambulance is trying to help her calm down but she’s freaking out and can’t call cal because she can’t find her phone that’s in the car but she ends up fine w a few bruises and scratches & it’s all fluff at the end?

Gonna be late - C. Hood

TRIGGER WARNING: Description of car accident and physical injuries, and anxiety.

Sorry this took so long, lovie! Been super busy lately! Hope you like it!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Car accidents are always shown as something so quick in movies.

A split second collision, the car jolts and is thrown around. The person inside is struck with whiplash and tossed about in a quick movement and often the aftermath is quite horrible.

Y/N discovered that movies are total bull Shit.

She was on her way to meet her friends, and her boyfriend, traveling down the Main Street of the town with music playing in the background as she thrummed her fingers along the steering wheel.

Calum always felt shy when she played his music, but she adored the sound of his voice. Every time his dulcet tone travels through the speakers a smile bursts onto her face.

She was listening to Babylon when it happened.

Anything that she had seen in the media felt like the biggest lie in that moment.

What was really a few minute action felt like a lifetime.

Her mind was focused on the road ahead of her, but the subconscious part of her mind was focused on the brown eyed man she gave her heart to.

They had been together for nearly 2 and a half years and at the point of considering living together.

Now, she had been on her way from work to meet with Calum, the guys and their girls for a much needed night out.

Between study and work she had barely had a time to relax, so Calum got onto Crystal who Y/N knew not to argue with about plans and organized for her to meet all of them at her favourite diner for dinner and drinks afterwards.

The sky was barely starting to go dark when the Subaru connected with the passenger side of the car.

She was doing 60 and her car was pushed sideways into the lane next to her.

The impact tore a grunt from her throat and the drivers side connected with a car parked on the side of the road.

Time seemed to slow as her head connected with the steering wheel and the drivers side door squashed in on her arm.

For a minute she saw black.

She came to with a pounding in her head that resembled a bad hangover, but the blood dripping in her eye brought her to her senses.

Despite the agony in both her arm and her head, she could only think of one thing: She needed to tell Calum she would be late. He would worry about her.

She just needed to get her arm out so she could get her bag that was on the passenger side. A quick text to Calum was all she needed

She just couldn’t reach.

<><><><><>

Calum couldn’t wait to see her. They basically lived together and saw each other every day, but last night he spent it at his own house.

She had an early class followed by a shift at work so he said goodnight to her at 7pm the previous night and left knowing he would see her at the bar the following day.

They were well past the honeymoon stage. Their love was past romantic, past companionate. They were bordering on full consummate love and he couldn’t find a moment where he didn’t have her at least in the back of his mind.

He truly loved her, and they both knew they shared the sentiment.

“All I’m saying is, you don’t know if zebras are black with white stripes, or white with black stripes.”

“What does it matter, Ash?” KayKay laughed from the front seat.

He decided to carpool with Ashton and Kaitlin, as he knew he was going home with Y/N that night.

Their conversations had ranged anywhere from aliens to the colour green and now to zebras and their stripes.

Cal couldn’t deny that he tuned out when KayKay and Ash were disputing the intensity of a specific shade of green.

The ride was energetic and gave off a certain ambience that Calum found himself basking in.

Lately, the only time he ever felt relaxed was with Y/N, but he was enjoying the time spent with his friends and the anticipation of seeing the woman he loved.

Hell, he was just excited to be able to sleep next to her that night. He always slept better with her beside him.

“Shit.” Calum felt the car slow, KayKay pushing her foot into the break with the pace of the car in front. “Calum is that-“

“It looks like it,” Ashton cut her off, whispering in a hushed voice for fear of setting off the Maori mans fight or flight.

They both knew that it would definitely be fight.

When it came to Y/N he would always fight for her.

His brown eyes captured the sight of her white Jeep. He knew immediately it was hers.

“Pull over,” he demands even though the car is almost at a complete stop.

His belt is off and his door is flung open. His ears are deaf to Ashton’s calls.

He clears a car and an ambulance comes into view. There are three paramedics crowded around the car, and two others tending to another car.

He didn’t know what had happened but he needed to know if his girl was okay.

He could hear her cries coming from the vehicle.

“I need to call my boyfriend,” she was breathing heavily. Her voice was cracking and sounded strained.

His heart broke at the sound. He could hear the pain she was in, yet her only thought was of him.

In any other circumstance he would be flattered, but all he could focus on was the paramedic telling her to stay calm because she has a head wound.

“No, please. You need to call him. You need to tell him I’m going to be late.” He got closer to the car, and he could see firefighters working at the door next to her.

Paramedics were on the passenger side of the car that had been dented, but at this moment he could care less about the car.

“Please, I just need to talk to him,” she was pleading.

“Ma’am you need to relax. We will call your boyfriend as soon as we can get you out and looked over.”

“But he’s waiting for me,” she was crying. From the pain or her stress, he didn’t know.

His feet felt more sluggish as he got closer to her, but he couldn’t stop his voice.

“Y/N?” He crouched down near where the paramedics were and his heart ached at the sight.

She was virtually untouched save for the head wound and her arm that had disappeared into the car door.

There were tears on her face and her skin was blotchy from the sobs underneath the blood.

Still, she lit up when she saw him.

“Calum! Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she moved slightly, cringing at the pain in her arm. “Crystals gonna kill me. I ruined our night.”

Calum couldn’t help but laugh, “she won’t care, baby. It’s fine, I’m right here with you.”

“I’m guessing this is the boyfriend?” The paramedic quipped. He was tall but he managed to fit into the small space to hold a gauze against her forehead. “No more tears now?”

The firefighters made quick work of the door. It was crumpled around her arm and they needed to stabilize it as they moved her.

She was into the ambulance for an assessment not long after and they began the ride to the hospital.

Calum made sure to send a quick message to Ashton informing him of the situation, but he turned his phone off after.

He needed to focus on Y/N.

A few hours later and she woke up in a white hospital room, her arm in a cast and elevated and a thick wrap around her head.

Calum was asleep on a chair beside her. He was sleeping so peacefully.

Naturally, she throw a sock at him.

“Hey! Melon!”

He snorted awake, blinking deliriously at the girl perched on the bed.

Despite the pain she was in previously, she beamed at him. Her smile could always settle his worries.

“I’ll let that one slide but stop calling me that!” He laughed at her, standing up and stretching.

She used the one hand that wasn’t in the sling to make grabby hands at him, prompting him to laugh once again and settle on the bed next to her.

“So, dr. Hood. What’s the damage?” She smiled, nuzzling into him.

“The damage is that you have a shattered forearm and a mild concussion. Also, you’re never driving yourself anywhere again. You’re coming with me,” he whispered to her, pressing a kiss to his head. “I can’t tell you how scared I was when I saw your car on the side.”

“As scared as I was being yknow, the one in the car?” She winked, pulling him closer so she could hug him more.

“I love you, you know that right?” He kissed her forehead once again. It was his favourite place to kiss her. She believed it was the most intimate and sweet place to kiss somebody, and he had done so since they started their relationship.

“I love you too, Melon,” she smirked once again.

He was thanking anybody who was there to listen that she was okay. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done if she wasn’t.

“So, I think this is a good time to revisit our conversation about living arrangements,” he said as he toyed with her hands, resting her smaller fingers against his own. “Because, if we lived together, I could fulfill my dream of being your personal chauffeur.”

“Calum, your dream was to make it big with your friends.”

“And I did that. Now this is my new dream.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re gorgeous,” he smiled.

She rolled her eyes, kissing him softly on the lips. “You want to do this? Live together?”

“I really do, baby,” he was staring so intently into her eyes that it forced a redness to rise.

“Then lets do it, Cal. Let’s move in together.”

A smile broke out onto his face, wider than it was before and he leaned over her to kiss her deeply.

“How about I get you a cute little nurse outfit and you can take care of me?” She winked as she pulled away from his lips, allowing him to roll his eyes deeply.

Tag list:

@mantlereid @starshonerose @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3

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[seungmin-wrecked]

Literally no one cares but here's my worst travel story:

So I go to a school 2-3 states away. Which according to Google, the college is a 9 hour drive, however, bc my family can't just drive 18 hours in one day to come get me and drive home, I normally take a train that goes across states. This train ride is about 6/6 and a half hours long. Not to mention :) the time you can buy tickets for this train at midnight and 3 am depending on which station you're leaving from (so if I'm heading back home, the train leaves at midnight. If I'm heading back to campus, the train leaves at 3 am). Keep this in mind :)

So the drive to the train station is a long one. It's about 4/4.5 hours long of a drive since the train station is in another state than the one I live in. So my dad decided to book a hotel like 15 min away from the train station, but not in the same city as the train station since prices were cheaper that way. We left the day before my train was supposed to leave so March 7th. We left our house at like 1 pm, and I had slept till 11 am since I had stayed up a bit late the night before. I slept in the car on the way to the hotel and was feeling pretty good!

We decided to waste some time looking around the town we were in, ate dinner at 3 pm, and actually had to go hunting to go find a place to print my train ticket since I had forgotten to (we eventually found a Staples 3 towns over and an abandoned mall that had bad vibes from the outside). Time passes and we head back to the hotel about 7 pm, but there's still a bunch of time before my train left. My boarding time that day was 4 am since daylight savings time was ending so we were supposed to jump forward, so it was really like my train was still arriving at 3 am. Amtrak suggests getting to the train station at least an hour before your train is supposed to arrive, so my dad and I agreed to leave the hotel at like 1:15 am. My dad fell asleep, but I was still pretty awake since I had gotten so much sleep already so I decided to read Manga on my phone until it was time for us to leave. We left the hotel on time, arrived at the train station early and thank goodness it was pretty empty. I managed to sit by myself and the train ride was relatively nice! Like it usually is.

Now here came the issue. The city I was arriving in, I knew about three people who lived there. One person I couldn't ask a ride from, another one I could have but there were already issues there, and so I asked the third person I knew there first. She was able to come get me!

.... Once she got off work!

...... At 1 pm.

Now I'm still very thankful she agreed to come get me, and I always will be. I have no idea how else I was supposed to make it to campus without her help, even though I would only be on campus for two weeks before getting kicked off.

However, my train arrived at 9 am. I had barely any money in my bank account and I had too much anxiety after sitting at the train station to get up and go get something from the vending machines, not to mention, I had no small bills on me. It was nearing 24 hours without substantial food, what I had eaten were some gummies my friend had gotten me for my birthday on the train, and that's it. It also came to my realization that while I was sitting there in the train station my p****d had started. There was no one in the station until about 11, since there was another train coming.

This lady approached me when there were like 5 other people at the train station (4 of them were Amish) and she asked me if she could borrow my phone to contact someone because she had left her phone in the Lyft she took to get to the train station. I figured why not and opened the app on my phone to dial phone numbers. This lady messes with my phone a bit and then hands it back to me with a new tab open with Lyft's customer service page open. I figured she was going to call her phone! Nope!!!! Now remember that I was reading Manga in the hotel room? Well I still had the tab up, and I can assure you that it was the one she opened the chrome browser up to. You'll never guess what fucking Manga I happened to be reading :)))) it was fucking Sekaii Wa (I can't remember the rest rn) but it's that one explicit bl Manga, and I remember being at a part where one of the character's may or may not have been naked :)) so I was fully screaming internally at this point. This lady had seen bl p*** on my phone and had given NO REACTIONS. She had to come ask to use my phone a couple of times bc she was trying to figure out what to do and at one point she just. Walked away with my phone.

After that had happened, a girl who looked very nervous came over and sat next to me, and asked me about how the train works since it was her first time. I also had to pee very badly at this moment too; I had needed to pee since I got off the train but was too nervous to get up and just go to the bathroom, not to mention I didn't have anyone to watch my stuff. I answered her questions and then asked her to watch my stuff. At this point I could create a temporary solution to the monthly problem happening and continue on feeling better about that situation since all of my pads/tampons were in my suitcase.

At this point it was 1 pm. For those keeping track, that is the time that my friend said she was going to be in work till, and a total of 22 hours since I had last eaten anything substantial. I was on my monthly, starving, sleep deprived, because also at this point I had gotten barely two hours of sleep on the train, which means about two hours of sleep in total for 22 hours also, and now irritated. I eventually get a text from my friend letting me know that she just got off work and was going to head home to shower and then come get me. I was just happy to know she was close to getting me.

3 pm rolls around. She arrives. I am tired, starved, irritated, in pain, and now surprised since my friend was NOT the only one to come get me. Oh no. Her mother had driven her and her sister to come get me. Which her family is lovely, they're so nice and really helped me out right before Christmas break when I needed to stay somewhere in the city before going to the train station at midnight. They pick me up, all is good. I'm still super hungry.

I am mildly lactose intolerant and when I am on my monthly, coffee messes me up (this is important for this next part).

Her mom turns towards me and goes "we're headed to Starbucks, would you like something?" my immediate response? Yes. Absolutely. My brain that is reminding me of the already horrid situation I am in, and telling me not to get coffee won though and told her no. I thought we were going to leave immediately after we came back to my friend's house. But oh no. She had laundry to finish, a resume to finish, and her mom wanted to take her to the grocery store to pick up stuff for her room. I went with for everything and ended up buying the oddest assortment of things (including almond milk, mandarin oranges, and canned soup).

My friend finished everything at about 6:30 pm and we were good to leave. I am so hungry at this point. Her mother had given me a slice of banana bread she had just baked and I had to refuse anymore bc I knew I would have eaten the whole thing given the chance. That was the most food I had eaten since 3 pm the day before. For those, once again keeping track, that is 27 hours. Again, I am in pain, irritated, hungry, and tired. We get into the car and as soon as we pull out of my friend's driveway I turned towards her and said "Can we please stop at the closest McDonald's. I am so hungry" she laughed and said sure. We passed at least 5 McDonald's. She then hits me with the "there's a Burger King like 45 min away, close to the school, can we go there?" and I just nodded my head bc I was just happy to be given the chance to eat.

We get to the Burger King and I am not kidding you. I ordered a Bacon Whopper with a side of large fries and large drink bc I was so hungry. I ate all of it before pulling into the driveway of my school. That burger is the size of my head and has enough fucking mayo on it for it to be it's own producer plant of mayo. It was heavenly.

I got all my stuff to my room (which was on the third floor of a building that only certain people could use the elevator) and passed out on my bed for an hour, woke up to tell my friend I was on campus. Did Not Touch My Luggage. And then passed tf back out till the next morning :)

TL;DR: I had the longest and worst travel of my life that lasted from 1 pm on a Friday till 7 pm on a Saturday, where I barely slept, ate, used the bathroom, and got heavily embarrassed.

[noreasonreally]

.

i don’t know. i don’t know why i keep avoiding writing. i want to work on this story bc it’s fun and cool and a way to bond with my aunt who lives far away. but i probably need to write more about how i’m feeling. and journaling takes a long time by hand. and this is a good place for venting personal shit. idk. we’ll see.

i want to write about the feelings in this story but i may have delved too deep into my own psyche. my own sore spots. 

i had an anxiety attack a couple nights ago. i keep having nightmares. part of me blames re-watching stranger things but i also watched parks n rec before i went to bed and also i had nightmares before re-watching stranger things. so that theory’s debunked.

i told my brother about the Big Trauma and he said he was sorry and that it explained a lot and on one hand what a relief! on the other hand he made it sound like that’s the reason i cut our father out of my life and that’s Not The Reason. i told him he didnt need to worry about changing his behavior right now bc he’s got a lot on his plate and just... whatever dude, he doesn’t need to. i didn’t tell him bc i wanted him to change.

i mean it would be nice if he were angry.

but i didn’t expect him to be.

and for all i know, he took this information to my dad and was convinced i’m full of shit. 

the thing is i’ll never know. i have no idea what he thinks or feels, ever. i hope that when our father and grandfather die, he’ll open up. i don’t know if it’ll be too late by then. 

and trust me, i’ve tried to “save” him. 

no one wants to be “saved” against their will.

so i just watch. i take the peace offerings. i hope playing video games and drinking like 3 alcoholic beverages and old movie quotes will give us some sense of connection. i got drunk and spilled my guts and he hugged me and i want something more but i know he can’t give me anything more. 

and then two nights ago he comes home - one of the brief intermissions from his 3 jobs, separation from his wife, new girlfriend, and taking care of our demented grandfather who molested me when i was too young to know it was bad - one of the brief moments where i see him for half an hour, an hour tops - and he immediately says “i’m going to sit uncomfortably close to my sister!” thinking he’s funny. and he does. and i calmly say i’m changing seats and he “apologizes for making me move, because he was kidding,” and i want to believe he’s silly, and i want to believe he’s kidding, and i want so badly to believe that my brother heard me, and respects me, and knows how it feels to be powerless.

i want to believe that he knows that. i want to believe that deep down, he has some intuition and it’s just buried under the fucking bonkers notions from my toxic paternal family members. 

but i go to bed early and have an anxiety attack. 

because pinning me to the side of the couch for shits and giggles after i tell you some intense shit, is not cute or funny. you never did that shit before. it doesn’t just go away.

i want to blow up at him, i want to scream, i want to feel like i’m not powerless anymore. i want to force him to see me for who i am, for what i truly feel, for what i’ve truly been through, because it’s real and valid and it’s fucking painful.

and i know being triggered means my reactions might be out of line. so i’m careful with what i say. i’m thoughtful. i don’t want to pin twenty-odd years of resentment and pain on the idiot who doesn’t even know what he’s putting himself through. 

but it also feels like i just got another kick in the head over something that was never my fault. 

another reason to say “oh poor old dad” and write me off. 

i know there’s a big grey area between the worst: expecting him to involve my father in my trauma - and the best: him saying he also denounces the paternal side of our family. i know that “i’m sorry that happened, that explains a lot” is a pretty good reaction, all things considered.

i guess it’s just hard to realize that nothing will ever be enough to erase it from happening. of course i knew this in my head. but i definitely thought i would have... some kind of epiphany after telling my brother.

if i never told him, i could still hold onto the fantasy of him responding with “that’s horrible! i’m never seeing any of them again unless you want to go yell at them for being awful.”

the reality of “thanks for saying i don’t have to change anything about what i’m doing” isn’t as heroic. or comforting. 

so i watch. we play video games and trade places on the couch and drink beer sometimes. i visit with my nieces and teach them how to scold the dog for being too rough and build towers with them and their dad. it doesn’t hurt to see other men being good dads anymore. 

and before anyone asks, yeah, my soon-to-be ex-sister-in-law has already banned him from taking their girls to visit our father or grandfather. 

man.

how does anyone do this? i don’t feel “broken,” or “unlovable” - i have pretty much everything i need to feel safe and happy, frankly. i’m in a pretty good place and i do my best to help others get to a good place, too.

but that doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t there. it doesn’t mean my ptsd is magically gone. my anxiety attacks and nightmares still hang out. i still woke up screaming “you don’t own him” this morning. 

i want to connect the dots and figure out what the big picture is - how to make it “good trauma,” like diane in bojack horseman, and do something so that i’m a success and i can point to my trauma and say “nana-nana boo boo, i’m gonna make other people’s lives better,” and then poof! it’ll be solved and i won’t feel bad anymore and i’ll sleep like a totally normal individual.

what’s really happening is that i’m excited if i can keep myself present for two seconds. 

and ultimately i don’t want any of this shit to go away. i work hard not to make it the focus of all my energy, but at the same time, i’m glad i know how to do that. because i know how to pay attention to myself and care about myself and fill my cup, so to speak, so i’m not in a constant state of needing validation like i used to be. and i know how to give genuine words of affection. i’m still working on a lot of things but i’m glad i generally know how to work on ‘em.

and if more fucked up shit happens i’ll work on that too. 

i’m okay. no matter what my brother says, or doesn’t say, no matter how many anxiety attacks i have, no matter how many walls i have to break down to become the person i want to be and know i will be, i know i can do it. i do have power over my life. i do think i’m worth the effort. i’m conflicted by a lot of things but that’s ok. i can be all the things. 

[shytiff]

Feb 2021 Wins

1 - osce study with clara almira, tryout 9 fkui, tryout review with clar, study sesh with clara that finished at about 10 pm. watched some youtube vids together til 11:15 pm. no longer sleepy, so i made my cv and finished it at about 3 in the morning lmao, bcs i saw this interning opportunity and i was like “damn i should make my cv”

2 - woke up at 7 am, didnt shower lmao, off to kiara for vaccination. Waited for a bit and i finally got it. ate mamdaging pesto rice with beef at kamkan w/ ren ness ara akisyah. talked at studied osce a bit. waited for mom to pick me up. until when do i need someone else to pick me up. i feel helpless and i hate that i cant just ride my motorbike because its too tiring. went back and dad got mad at me bcs i didnt greet him when leaving and entering the house. I truly didnt see him when i entered even though i heard sumn lmao. He said sumn along the lines of "you can always leave if u dont like me" (which is lowkey appealing). I cried bcs i felt sad and annoyed with our terrible emotional parent-daughter relationship. Hold the tears for a bit to study with clara. Darkened the room and slept still in my going-out clothes. I did not shower today lmao,,,,

3 - woke up at 10 am. Tryout and review w clara. Psych coaching. Psych practice with irun. Called lau and dajen bcs hes leving to medan. Randomly checked my email and my intern submission, which i emailed yesterday, that turns out the doctor replied at 8pm yesterday asking for interview today 11 am. And i saw it @ 6 pm. Aka super late. The stupidest thing ive ever done in FKUI. No cap. :( i panicked and it gave me a reason to talk with dad (asking how to reply) so i guess its a form of effort to banish the awkwardness between us. Studied w clara. I hope the doctor can forgive me. Its one loose end after the other lately.

4 - went to starbucks with atikah. got treated matcha latte yayy. cicil osce. called clara to learn imunisasi. went to kaleyo w atikah clara, ate bebek muda cabe ijo yumm. talked abt a lot of things in a span of 1-2 hours. we’re all pragmatist lmaoo. 

5 - osce briefing, DV osce practice w irun, watched run bts again lmaoo since knowing my osce schedule is thursday. read buku osce biru. 

6 - slept and lazed around til 1 pm. went to flavola since the construction was so noisy. osce simulation with UKMPPD Wibu. turns out flavola’s siomay is very fulfilling.

7 - todays construction noise escape is jco. Bought jcool double with almonds and chocolate crunchy. A bit of psych practice w aisyah. After maghrib practiced neuro w irun

8 - had no mood to study in the morning. Went to flavola, kopsusss coklat as usual. Reviewed osce materials (theres some tea about what might come out). Reviewed again at home (even tho i procrastinated from 6-9pm). Asked my bro for some ovo bcs i bought a mini keyboard in tokped lmaoooooo so random

9 - went to merra (ara and nessa’s place) but mom drove dad to the airport first. stome osce study, group consolidation for osce, tried mad bagel (the garlic cream cheese and tuna salad). the bagel was quite dense and fulfilling. the garlic cream cheese is quite heavy. arrived at home by 9 pm, went straight to sleep

10 - omg dr eva contacted me again :”) and i got the chance to be ecmocard research assistant. osce study. line call with ara. matcha latte. studied in juan’s room bcs it was so noisy. the keyboard i ordered arrived lolll cant wait to try. i dont know if its the anxiety or fear but i cant sleep and forced myself to sleep 11pm-ish

11 - osce. Went early to learn sumn more w ara tri. Osce (i forgot opv for the 5 mo old baby in peds station 😭 there was dr yogi omg) prayed zuhur and ashar in merra while waiting for pick up (i rly wish i could just bring my own vehicle but motorbike is rly tiring). Finally tried the mini keyboard, with earphones on. Practiced the song aku bukan untukmu by rossa lmao bu sihar taught us that in 33. I felt rly excited and not sleepy afterwards (that "normal" feeling with nothing looming). Its been a while since i tried something new, voluntarily. I guess its kind of what i felt when i tried the korean duolingo. That lasted for a couple months. Lets see how this keyboard thingy goes

12 - finally finished reviewing to oneshot (took ages lmao). Lazed around

13 - inten ukmppd w ness ren ara @ merraaa always. Went through 5 pdfs. Tried fastfit chicken burger and sweet potato fries. Quite fulfilling. Went back home and straight to bed (didnt eat anymore)

14 - started my day late as usual on weekdays lmaoo. flavola kopsus coklat as usual at my usual seat facing the window. did padi final tryout, score: 69. booty call with fianti, did mindset tryout, got 76,5.

15 - lazed tilll i start my day as usual @ 11-ish. Reviewed to padi final answers. Wow it sure took some damn time. My attention span is rly horrible when im alone in my room

16 - second dose of vaccine today. the rain was POURING. mom and emir waited in mcd. read half of aipki citation. 

17 - finished aipki citation, read CBT 2020 batch I and 2019 batch III questions. read a fantastic slow burn dramione fic. reviewed the last to solid.

18 - accompanied clara for swab antigen near airport train station (we came with motorbike since clara’s car was used). got called over by the police bcs we were in the car-only road lmaooo. went over optima tryout 2021. 

19 - cicil ukmppd at flavola with the usual menu, read some more afterwards

20 - ended up going to tamel bcs the flood in tb simatupang toll. Stayed w nessa and henny. Ate garlic carbonara spaghetti by bittersweet najla. Quite good for the price. Went over mediko questions with nessa and first session citation. Atikah sent some krispy kreme donuts 🥺🥺

21 - woke up at 4 bcs henny and nessa already did. Ate cold kanayam for bfast. Did ukmppd. I flagged quite a lot of questions huaa. I hope i can pass, aamiin. Went to tamel to get stuff (nebeng oca uye), climbed jembor to get to akis et al. Went to aeon (super crowded tffff), followed by ikea (parked at decathlon). Ate at both places (shared portion w kris lmaoo we get full quick). Aeon sushi and ikea meatball. So fulll. Went out of ikea to be briefed by dr Debby (ecmocard) and put my stuff to mom's car. Went in ikea again. And finally we went back. such a good sleep yall

22 - relaxed and i mean RELAXXXED. woke up and slept again. showered to prepare to go to harkit for intern briefing. i was late (thanks daan mogot road) and had to grabbike from untar. put on some sheet mask (natrep rose) bcs im realizing i need to fix my face and look decent for this new environment lmaoo.

23 - left home at 7 am, went through highway (i aint repeating daan mogot tragedy again). walked a bit backwards bcs the hightway exit was infront of dharmais. super slow progress on entering medical datas. took half a day to get one. and another half for the other. ate marugame udon, somay, chicken katsu and otak otak. we finished after maghrib and im writing this while waiting for mom

24 -  tried salted egg dori rice from salt inc. its quite salty and eneg inducing (a bit more than eatlah), but for the price (19k after cashback) i wont complain. Went back home before maghrib but there was still some medical record stuff i did in my room.

25 - magang as usual. Tried chicken egg salad from salad hut. Bought ice french hazelnut coffee from lawson coz i just cant take it anymore (the slump and sleepyness). I feel like the moment that sugary beverage enters my system i rise like a freshly watered plant. First meeting with dr eva and the others

26 - felt so tired even in the morning. Its 9 am and im already ordering janjiw coffee (with hazelnut and milo, quite sweet. Like a mix of kopiko and milo). Slow progress today i dunno why. Lunch is nayam rica2 and egg for 21k. Went back home by tj and mom picked me at gajah 2

27 - i hate to say this but bcs for 5 days now ive been fighting sleeping instincts, i snap out of sleepiness easier in the morning. Nasi uduk for brekkie. Moved some stuff up bcs the noise, played keyboard. Learned the (difficult) chords to tyler's see you again and im feeling satisfied. Went to racheel's place. Got fed chicken noodle. And then off to silvi's with devi also. Got fed chicken rice and dimsum. Thanks to friends im eating superwell today🥺

28 - relaxed at home. Skipped breakfast bcs i fell asleep and ate heartily in the afternoon. Evening run w racheel at citra 6

[ralphspina-blog1]

get to know me meme thing

LAST

1) Drink: chai tea... or wait, water after that, but the chai was good enough that it should still be mentioned

2) Phone Call: i last called my parents, the walk in clinic were the last to call me

3) Text Message: “did it turn out alright?” to a friend who accidentally said “i love you” to her bf well before she planed to, lmfao <3

4) Song Listened To: starboy by the weeknd, i still go on tears where i listen to it for hours on repeat

5) Time I Cried: yesterday, i’m pretty sure... i still mostly cry every day, and have been for a concerning amount of time, but eh

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated Somebody Twice: more than twice, tbh, i don’t even know how many times we ultimately broke up and got back together

7) Been Cheated On: same person as above, but even more times than we broke up because i was weak

8) Been Kissed By Someone And Regretted It: oh yes indeed, i have not wanted all of the kisses i’ve gotten

9) Lost Someone Special: i’ve lost some incredibly special people in my life. the two i miss most are my cousin (once removed) who passed away when i was about nine, and a former girlfriend (definitely the most serious and meaningful relationship i ever had) who passed away this past november

10) Been Depressed: yeah, i first started seeing professionals about it at 14 or so

11) Gotten Drunk And Puked: lmfao YES I HAVE, that was my life for about six months when i first went to college

THREE FAVORITE COLORS

12) brown

13) green

14) blue

IN THE LAST YEAR

15) Made New Friends: yeah! and i’m so happy :3

16) Fallen Out Of Love: i’m not good at doing that, sadly

17) Laughed Until You Cried: omg yes, i do that about once a week

18) Found Out Someone Was Gossiping About You: no, and i hope no one’s that pressed for gossip because i’m boring af

19) Met Someone Who Changed Your Life: i’m not really sure about that yet, it’s early in the year to know... unless we’re saying since last march, in which case yes, for sure

20) Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: i’ve lost touch with a few people but it wasn’t as harsh as that, more just shedding the social group that was only social because i don’t... go out... these days

21) Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: in the last year - i don’t think so

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook Friends: 86

23) Pets: none :(

24) Want To Change Your Name: i did already! in my late 20s

WHAT

25) Did I Get For My Birthday: a couple of new pairs of glasses!

26) Time I Woke Up: oh my god, i think 3:30 am. it was a rough morning

27) Were You Doing At Midnight: trying to sleep...

28) Can’t You Wait For: my next distraction, it’s been a dull day

29) Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mom: she’s sitting beside me on the couch right now!

30) Was Something You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: how it’s played out already - i wish i had finished college the first time. how it is now - just find the energy to do literally anything at all

31) Are You Listening To Right Now: suit and tie by jt

32) Gets On Your Nerves: people who constantly have to be making noise in one way or another, like as a nervous tic, because it does the opposite for me

33) Talked To A Person Named Tom: ... i mean probably, at some point?

34) Is Your Most Visited Website: tumblr, plurk, dreamwidth, youtube

35) Elementary School: it’s been torn down, my dude, it has ceased to be

36) High School: merritt secondary school

37) College: TRU (twice), kwantlen

38) Hair Color: dark ash brown

39) Long/Short Hair: oh god, kind of grown out short?? i need a haircut so tragically

40) Crush: UGH GOD I’M SO ABOUT JPITTS NOW HELP ME

41) Do You Like About Yourself: i guess my ability to see things from perspectives other than my own, or at least consider them?

42) Piercings: ears twice, labret once, all grown over now

43) Blood Type: A-

44) Nickname: maddie is my nickname, really, very few people diminutize it more than that, it’s short for madeline

45) Relationship Status: single and not gonna mingle

46) Zodiac: not only sagittarius, but triple (sun, moon, rising) sagittarius

47) Pronouns: she/her

48) Favorite Show: the last show i saw that really knocked me flat on my ass was stranger things, but i’m always swinging between them too often to have a solid fave. i am deep in hbo war, tho

49) Tattoos: i have six! two on my back, one on my chest, two on my left arm, one on my right

50) Left/Right Handed: right

FIRST

51) Surgery: tonsils when i was 4 or so

52) Piercing: ears, age 12

53) Best Friend: oh jeez, i think his name was nicky...

54) Sport: tee ball

55) Vacation: birch bay, washington state

56) Pair Of Shoes: oh my goodness, i have noooo idea

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: nothing

58) Drinking: water

59) I Am About To: uuuuuugh i have no idea, maybe nap

60) Listening To: now i’m on dive by ed sheeran, it’s my fav off the new album so far

61) Waiting For: tags, hopefully

62) Want To See: moonlight, so badly

63) Want To Get Married: groans loudly and slides off the couch like tina belcher

64) Career: keeps sliding and groaning

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/Kisses: hugs are more multipurpose, but kisses are rarer which makes them a kind of treasure

66) Lips/Eyes: that depends, tbh, on whether i’m admiring someone physically or getting to know them on a more mental/emotional level. but if i like someone’s lips, they’ll be incredibly distracting at all times

67) Taller/Shorter: these are all situational...

68) Younger/Older: for friends and other roles in my life, p much irrelevant as long as we get along! romantically, either is fine so long as it’s not such a wide difference that it creates an uncomfortable power dynamic, or just renders us unable to relate to one another

69) Romantic/Spontaneous: OH MY GOD NOT SPONTANEOUS, never ever ever, my anxiety does not take surprises well

70) Nice Arms/Nice Stomach: assuming a “nice stomach” is meant to be washboard abs or smth, definitely arms bc i like a soft, cozy stomach tbh

71) Sensitive/Loud: i’m not really sure what dichotomy this is supposed to present... i don’t think how loud someone is says anything about how sensitive they are

72) Hookup/Relationship: i’ve never been able to hook up, personally, because i don’t have the self-confidence to hop into bed with a stranger. that takes heavy amounts of trust and mutual respect for me. but if that’s how someone does it, i make zero assumptions about them based on that

73) Troublemaker/Hesitant: i think being a troublemaker or mischievous or whatever can be code for straight up not giving a shit about the feelings of others, or even going after them on purpose. if it’s good-natured, though, it’s all good, and i’m so crazy hesitant that i could use someone with that influence

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed A Stranger: no

75) Drank Hard Liquor: yep

76) Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: lost? no, but broken for sure

77) Turned Someone Down: yes i have

78) Canoodling On A First Date: lmfao HOW DO WE DEFINE CANOODLING HERE... maybe...

79) Broken Someone’s Heart: not on purpose, and not even thoughtlessly, but i’ve had to do things for myself that have hurt people very deeply

80) Had Your Own Heart Broken: oh yeah, absolutely

81) Been Arrested: no

82) Cried When Someone Died: yeah

83) Fallen For A Friend: almost exclusively when it comes to irl crushes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: oh my god, do i try

85) Miracles: in some senses

86) Santa Claus: well, he’s a mythological figure of sorts, it’s a different sort of belief

87) Kisses On A First Date: they do, in fact, exist!

88) Angels: i believe in presences remaining with a person after death, because i’ve felt them myself, but i don’t know what form i’d call them

89) Love At First Sight: love is an ongoing process, or as massive attack’s teardrop says - love is a verb, love is a doing word

OTHER

90) Best Friend’s Name: laura

91) Eye Color: hazel

92) Favorite Movie: hard core logo

[persional]

im only getting drunker and im outta content so im gonna write a post for sober me to stumble upon one fateful day and the post is gonna be about laurel i really miss them and i dont know where we stand at all im really bad at casual unlabeled things i was bad at polyamory im bad at it ! i realized recently we had 2 first kisses and they called the 2nd one “the real one” im in l*ve maybe not really but i keep thinking i think bc it’s conditioned in me i don’t like the time before you get to say i love you why cant i just tell everyone i love them all the time except like friends that im not that close to who will just say it like thats not ideal. they said and then repeated that they want to see me as soon as they get back and it’s like that reassurance i keep coming back to and i hate being the one to always text back but most of it is im fucking bored theres like 3 people left here who will voluntarily hang out with me. im so glad i dont lie that takes so much of the weight off of my social interactions to just be like yeah im gonna tell the truth rn. the first time we had s*x laurel said promise me one thing just promise me you won’t break me into a billion tiny pieces just promise me you won’t lie to me. and i was like i have some extremely good news for you because i only ever lie to myself. i like them a lot. a Lot. kissing them feels like being on a roller coaster which i know because i went on a roller coaster a few weeks ago and as we started to freefall i thought this is exactly what it feels like to kiss laurel. i feel like their name shouldn’t be capitalized so that way the beginning can be the same as the end like a marble rolling around in your mouth that starts and then ends right on the tip of the tongue even though technically one is a light L and the other is a dark /l/. im drinking my last four loko tonight and hoping to get schwasted and hoping to stop needing to drink in order to go to sleep soon. not my last of all time i should clarify just the last one we have in the fridge. savannah gets back on tuesday late night on tuesday and laurel gets back at some point on wednesday im not sure what time and im afraid to ask i think i’ll ask just a day or two before so there’s kind of... because savannah and i are planning to hang out a lot that day and also to get dinner with savannah’s cousins and although i dont think it would be the end of the world if i left in the middle of dinner it obviously won’t be ideal. im listening to my cancer season playlist and honestly it’s really good. i really don’t want to eat this apple pie i’d rather just have another quesadilla or better yet some fried rice. i guess i could microwave more peanut noodles but i kind of hate those at this point like theyre a little disgusting no ? i started writing this post bc i saw a post about someone’s favorite thing about girls they said it was ‘the way they stroke you’ and i thought about us holding hands and holding each other and their freckles and the coconut oil on their face and how their eyes are brown in the center and green on the edges  and how i don’ t deserve any of it im not sure if we’re anything close to dating but i still strongly contest savannah’s assertion that she thinks it’s just physical theyve said ‘i really like you (too)’ they said ‘i romanticize you’ they came to me house after i made that song, that song got me laid and i think about that all the time and it’s not like we always have sex sometimes we just sleep together in the same bed and i feel so real with them it’s so hard to feel like im not just slipping into the version of myself that somebody wants me to be and i realized after a year with adrianne i realized there are parts of myself that i’m putting on which aren’t parts of me at all there are parts of me! there is a height to the frequency to my voice! there is a demureness because she wants a woman and i can’t be butch and hers at the same time but i don’t feel like that now and im trying really hard to be real and i hope theyre doing the same i hope theyre not... once they came over with another friend after a party and once our friend left and we were kissing on the couch they started crying and i just wanted them to feel safe it’s so rare that someone is crying and you actually get to hold them. they were crying and im thinking about duck butter now because it’s usually me who isn’t real even if im not lying im not being myself and this time it’s not me so it can only be them and i never know how they feel or what they’re thinking and they’ll say something like uh yeah i like you or they’ll kiss me, once i was kissing them goodbye as i left their house and their housemate saw us it was so funny and also the first time anyone else has seen us kiss idk im not sure where we stand i asked about it probably too early when we were high i said what is this what are we doing and they said i don’t know but i like it. so like i really don’t know and i gave them a chance and i don’t know what to do like maybe they really think it is just a physical thing and they feel roped in but there have been times when they said things that absolutely were not required and i was like oh Hm? im just trying to be fucking real but theyre not great at communicating,, fucking air signs am i rite, theyre a gemini and i think about that all the time how ive dated 2 pisces and 2 leos, we don’t know each other which savannah has pointed out and the thing is im sure savannah is like just concerned for me but it comes off as if she’s not supportive of the relationship at all and im worried that shes jealous idk i know there are a lot of people who like laurel bc uhhh theyre hot and incredible and smart and hilarious and. everything god theyre such gf material. im so alone rn no one will even fav mine tweets. im a huge fan of the improv comedy team at our school, they recently changed their name to princess wolfpipe which is objectively a bad name but before it was fellatio rodriguez yeah porn bots get at me, anyway they didnt like that it was like 5 whiteys with the name rodriguez attached to it which is fair like very woke very reed of you sure. hhhhhhhhhh i just remembered they read my anthro essay and like.,, had sex with me After that. god. hell. wow. i must not be that bad at essays after all even the ones i half-ass. chrome is underlining so many of the words in this post little do they know im a linguist and a literature major. anyway i think i could be drunk enough now to admit ive not eaten pussy in like a week and it is in fact wearing on me at this point like im literally that tweet about the person stirring som e mac n cheese and passing out but it’s been honestly a week if that they left on the 3rd right so ya 8 days. ok i feel less bad about that bc i also definitely hadnt **ten them **t like that day i dont think we had rly like giggly sex at their house i think the night before and i drove them to work early in the morning and theyre so nice to me they know to wake me up with kisses which is so important bc im so... im so fucked i like them so much but im also just a fucked up person and i dont deserve thme. i should get alcohol prescribed for me. for sleep. and social anxiety. made a tweet about it, deleted it. made a quesadille! ated it !, imagine if i didnt eat so much especially while drunk. my body wants me to be huge but i want to be dead i want to be nothing. words are so bad whoever invented words im sure theyre dead they shoul be revived and shot again. ok so im eve drunker now and i’d like to say i want to hear them come again honestly i want to literally put my tongue insid eof them and hear them say my name i want to hold the folds of skin around their hips i want to hear them gasp i want to taste them i want everything i want to stroke their hands and kiss their fingers and their forehead i miss them so much i hate being physically far from everyone i love i want to sleep in their bed i want to fall asleep with our arms wrapped around one another unless i have to turn away and they understand adrianne never understood. i want them i really hope they still like me it would be so fucking sad for the chemistry to only go this way likea reaction that only goes inreverse so we’re left in the end with these raw materials like. like oil and water that can never relaly combine? like two molecules that can only lie next to one another but will always spring apart. i love their house i love their housemates i love the way they offered to make a powerpoint about food waste i love their goat milk and asiago cheese and cabbage pancakes fried rice i love the face they make when i run my fingernails over their scalp i love their voice i love their favorite shirt because it’s several sizes too big and all their clothes are black im not as much of who i am as they are and im not sure i ever will be because it’s willpower and money and i need to find other things in my life to want other than people who will always leave because literature tells us desire is always more than we think it will be and we will always be creating these overexaggerated versions of what ife will really be i need to finish proust i need to make somebody come i need to see their mouth open i need to kiss them i need cherries and enchiladas i need the ants and fruit flies to get the hell out of my house i need more alcohol and higher blood pressure and to divorce my family. how long does it take to be disowned. do i owe it to the people around me . i want kiss i want the moment when they came into my house on their fucking??? lunch break to kiss me and say yeah remember when kim kardashian posted a selfie and kanye west said hey im coming home now. and they pushed me up against the wall and their fucking fingers, i got my vibrator out afterwards and ive had to use it a few times since just thinking of us and the dream their housemate had where they came in and said hey stop having such loud sex even though it was really okay god almighty we should have louder sex this post is paragraphs long and it’s probably all my thoughts but im gonna keep going because i think about their fingers and their skin and mouth and voice and freckles theres no way they think about me this much im fucking pathetic i should probably kill msefl no one thinks about anything this much. but then again i guess i don’t it’s just condensed i have other things to do just what do i Enjoy thinking about it’s fucking being gay and tlaking to them listening to their music hearing them talk about having to lie down because of a fiona apple song such a fucking mistake to get involved with me no im the fucking worst im that fucking crazy girlfriend who won’t let go from the moment you lead me on im ucking hooked it’s so pathetic im extremely drunk just as a disclaimer for anyone who finds this. thats probably enought.

[thejerkstorecalled]

The Final Sprint: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Whew, it’s been a CRAZY six weeks! And got down to crunch time: shipping my goods, selling the convertible (thank you, Jesus) and flying away from the Bay. 

Naturally, Murphy’s Law ran it’s course and nearly everything that could go wrong did. 

I packed up alllll the things for LuggageFoward to ship via UPS:

BTW the fan was *not* being shipped, that went to the trash pile, but I did have the pleasure of carring that silly fan all around San Francisco, Napa, Sonoma and Livermore so that I could exercise with a cool breeze #priorities

Luggage included: 2 bike bags (one w the frame, one w the wheels), a 50 lb Wahoo Kickr, a roller bag, a large back pack. 

UPS was scheduled to come pick up the luggage between 3 and 7 PM on Friday, and I was ready for them and looking forward to literally dumping some heavy baggage. 

Automobiles

I had some work to blow through in the morning and a press interview at noon, so decided if I left at 1 PM to get Michael’s car appraised at Carmax ahead of selling it to them on Sunday and also pick up the bike I was renting to ride all weekend that I’d surely be back by 3. Right? Right????!!!!

As evidenced from earlier posts, Michael’s car is a tiny convertible that I’ve been constantly tetris-ing all my s#it into for the last six weeks. On top of that, the radio hasn’t worked in approximately two years. The windows don’t align fully to the car when rolled up, so they create a wind tunnel unless you roll them down and then back up every time you get into the car. But they have to go all the way down before they go back up again. And most recently, I discovered that the roof leaks on both the passenger and driver side. Have I mentioned that we’ve been having apocolyptic rain lately in the Bay Area? So to say that I have a hate-hate relationship with that car might be an understatement. 

I took the car to Carmax, and the staff was friendly and quickly started on the appraisal that should only take 30 minutes which generally involves testing all the features and taking it for a short spin to identify any issues. Since said car is a convertible, they also tested the top, letting it down and then back u..... Oh wait, it’s STUCK! Yeah, the convertible top got stuck going back on and then wouldn’t go in either direction. The car looked like a giant UFO and not something that I could drive around with more rain inevitable over my final two days. And I was on a time crunch! So they generated the appraisal and confirmed I could come back before 9 that night to finalize the check and fortunately we only lost out on $500 - 1000 with that issue. But what was I going to drive and how was I going to get this bike???

The Carmax people (they were all really awesome) drove me to the Enterprise that was serendipitously right next to the bike shop to rent a car for the next two days. Clearly I needed something full sized ‘cause I still had a lot of stuff. In what was probably the best thing that’s happened to me through this whole scenario, I got a free upgrade, though it was a bit lost on me bc I didn’t know what to do with all the extra buttons and there did not appear to be any bun warmers (the only feature that really matters):

I then popped over to the bike shop and grabbed the bike and took it apart enough to fit it into the back. Thank goodness for black leather vs chain grease. 

I had ten minutes to get “home” before my 3 PM window started and naturally Friday traffic was a nightmare in full force. I arrived back to my friend’s condo - where I’d been staying most recently - at 3:30/3:40 but there was not sign on the door that UPS had missed me and by calling LuggageForward, Michael and I determined that I had not missed the driver and they hadn’t yet been to pick up the goods.

Now to get back to work and wrap up things, and also I was STARVING. My day had started with a 4,300 yard swim and in all the chaos I hadn’t had time to eat lunch and really hadn’t eaten much at all on the day. This was a good time to test out DoorDash. I was debating between a veggie burger and burrito/enchilada, but ultimatley opted for Mexican. It took just about 30 minutes and the delivery fee was surprisingly not outrageous and the food was in good condition. I would definitely recommend this service and use it again. 

6:55 rolls around and no UPS, so I start to get concerned. I call and they report that the driver made an attempt but didn’t have the condo flat # in his log, just the street address. So why didn’t he call???? I waited until 7:30 to hear back from the flurry of customer service phone calls which seemed to have ceased, and then headed to Carmax to wrap up that ordeal. About ten minutes into the trip, UPS calls to tell me the driver just made his last stop and will come back by, so I told them I was out but close and did a u-turn to head home. I get back home and wait. and wait. and make more customer service phone calls. The UPS driver noted in his log that he waited for 15 minutes, though I know he did not because it overlaps with the time I was at the condo... The “resolution” was that I would need to drop off my luggage at a UPS store by 1PM the next day. So it’s a good thing I got a full-sized rental car!

To cap off an exhausting Friday, I went back to Carmax and wrapped up everything with the sale of the car and got to sleep for my last ride with my Saturday cycling crew. For a change, the weather looked favorable and I was excited to pedal outside on a road bike, evidently my current anxiety about riding outside is exclusive to tri bikes?

I woke up on Saturday and rode to meet my crew. I noticed that the clouds didn’t look like dry weather clouds but the weather forecast said no rain, so that had to be right. Right??? We got sprinkled on during the first part of the ride, but nothing major, so went out to the long climb that was the cornerstone of the ride and climbed for five miles or so, which was truly amazing. I would have loved to do more, but needed to turn around to get all my luggage to UPS by 1. 

I flipped and started descending. It felt weird, I was having to ride in the little (easy) ring pedaling downhill because the headwind was so wildly strong. And then it started to rain. Not to sprinkle, but rain HARD. With the headwind, it felt like hail in the face. On this day that was supposed to be dry #MurphysLaw. 

I made it back to the condo, soaked and freezing, trembling and unable to feel my extremities. I ran around a bit and took a hot shower to warm up, also because I was covered in mud from riding in the weather, and then scurried to get all my heavy bags into the car to trek over to UPS:

That’s my bike in the back seat. Thank goodness for a full-sized car! 

I arrived just before 1 and unloaded all my goods. The older lady working at the UPS store started scanning my bags and taking them to the back. And then she picked up the Kickr. And promptly dropped it on my foot and told me that my stuff was too heavy and I’d need to the carry it to the pick-up location myself. Tell me about it, lady, I’ve been dragging these bags around for weeks! And BTW she also let me know that since we were shipping ground, I didn’t actually have to drop the bags by 1 PM because that was only for air, my bags would be picked up on Monday. Okay cool, glad I rushed around for that. 

I was happy to spend the rest of the day relaxing and enjoying some wine and a final toast with Carry and Kathy. 

Trains

Sunday was mostly as expected. Riding that bike again, with no rain this time! And then cleaning the remnants of that rainy ride off the bike and out of the car to return both. 

I dropped off the car and was trying to rearrange my luggage for the flight into just four bags (check two, carry two) but was unsuccesful. Though I did manage to get down to five! I also hadn’t been able to shower yet, so I was gross and dirty and hungry. The fellas at the rental car place let me know they could drop me at BART when I returned the car, but Enterprise was closed that day. Huh?? So I called a Lyft to carry me and my five heavy bags to BART:

Where was I headed? Good question! My dear friend Melissa from ATL was in San Francisco for work and had arrived a day early so that we could hang out, so I was en route to say with her in the city and enjoy some quality time. 

I made it to the BART stop nearest her hotel with alllll five of my heavy bags in tow, hanging off my person. I disembarked the train and started up the crowded escalator. The moving stair hit my roller bag sending it sideways, and I was struggling to regain control. The bag touched the lady in front of my on the escalator who then proceeded to make a bitc#y comment to my dirty, hangry, frustrated, stressed out self. This may or may not have escalated into a shouting match that turned heads in the middle of the BART station, between two ladies whose hands were full of bags or boxes and were most likely angry at their situations more than anything else. At any rate, that was the pinnacle - or low point - of the whole situation. I hope. 

Planes

I’m not done yet. I have a full day of flying OAK -> SLC -> DTW -> MDC. And then later to actually get to Austin. Almost done!