#grabs my airhorn AND I STILL LIKE IT!!!!!!! I STILL LIKE THE LAST OF US!!!! YOU CAN HAVE CRITIQUES AND LIKE SOMETHING!!!!!!

[spacedlexi]

up until this point i feel like hbo’s tlou has been pretty good at expanding upon pre-existing content from the game, but for me this new episode was kinda mid..

i wouldve liked to see more expansion on sam and henrys story, or maybe even kyle and ish?? (loved that story)(they showed the drawing of them for a half second and they renamed kyle for no reason 💀). but instead we get introduced to this kathleen (?? can barely remember her name) lady who i couldnt get myself to care about. cared more about her 2nd in command guy

sam and henry were my favorite of the original supporting cast and they have to share their time with this lady that puts me to sleep, while frank and bill got nearly an entire heartfelt episode dedicated to them

with the side stories theyre choosing to tell so far i feel like by the time we get to part 2 its gonna be like “we’re doing THIS again??” (and part 2 was already kinda like that for me as in it didnt really do anything new or interesting for me)

like oh my god we’re still going on about revenge and forgiveness and ooooh nobody is perfectly good or bad we are all shades of grey 2 sides of the same coin yadda yadda except now theyre all self aware about it 😭💀

like can we write anything else?? besides trying to make both sides of a violent conflict equal of course because they love doing that (dont think i forgot abt the weird palestine/israel parallel in pt2 i think that was the worst one for me). but kathleen is basically just abby again and unless part 2 is a complete rewrite then im gonna be honk shoo mimimimi ASLEEP

[ladylooch]

Nico's Best Girl - [Nico Hischier]

A/N: It has been a hot minute since I wrote Nico Smut.. or at least it feels like it? But the people spoke, and they were desperate for Nico and some spanking 🤭 So let me introduce you to Nasty Nico and all the things he does to his beautiful wife on the occasions he comes out.

Word Count: 2.1k

Read more Lexi and Nico Here.

Nico Hischier is so far in my dog house, he can’t even see our house anymore. 

This is a rare occurrence between the two of us, but I’m livid. Seething. Visualizing myself smothering him with a pillow.

Why?

Because he walked into our daughter’s room after his latest road trip and woke her up, then fell asleep next to me. So now, I’m the one up at 5 am in the living room, watching god awful toddler TV and sucking down my second cold brew of the day. Huge bags are under my eyes, purple and blue, for the three hours of sleep I managed to get.

It’s well into the late morning when Nico emerges from our bedroom. I’m still mad, but at least Lucie is taking a nap. My shoulders tighten when he leans down to kiss my head next to my dilapidated bun. He stays there for a moment, breathing in the smell of me after being gone for so long.

“Good morning.” 

“Mmm is it?” I mutter back as I stand. I begin gathering some of Lucie’s toys, starting by putting one of the puzzles back into its home.

“I think so?” Nico wonders. “I am so tired. I might need a nap later.” He says through a huge yawn. I look up at him, scowling at the back of his head. “Where is LuLu?” He asks, scratching at the hairs on his chest. 

“Sleeping.”

“Aww.. I wanted her to nap with me later.” A disgruntled pucker hits his lips. Nico goes to the fridge, pulling out orange juice and pouring himself a glass. I watch him, standing still and flabbergasted in the living room at his lack of attention. He turns back to make eye contact with me as he drinks. “Hm?” He asks between slurps, bushy eyebrows raising in question at me.

“If you ever do what you did last night again, I am going to blow an airhorn in your ear.” Nico pauses from drinking. He seems to take me in more, then grimaces.

“I’m sorry.”

“You think, Nico?” I question, shrugging my shoulders with attitude. He cringes and brings a defensive hand up.

“I’ll make it up to you.” I start grabbing the couch pillows Lucie threw on the floor, tossing them back into their places. I reach for the knitted throw blanket next, beginning to fold it back aggressively. “I missed her so much. I didn’t want to wait until morning to give her a hug.” 

“Well, now I’m missing the five hours of sleep I need to function.” I toss the blanket back onto the ottoman, adjusting the ends so it drapes over the side the way I like.

Nico watches silently from the kitchen while I stalk around the living room, trying to repair the disaster of our living room. My displeasure is obvious. Whenever I glance at him, I can see Nico’s mind calculating which fix he needs to pull out to move us forward.

“Lex.” Nico’s quiet call reaches where I am tucking her Lightning McQueen ride-on toy by the side of the couch. I look up at him and startle. He decided the fix is sexual. “You need me to wake you up?” His voice is husky, gone is the rough coating of sleep, replaced by the burning desire. It’s a reminder of how long that road trip really was- almost two weeks without each other, filled with FaceTime calls that barely grazed over the itch.

“Not sure you can, cap.” I quip back. Nico’s chuckle is low, accepting of my challenge. He pushes off from the kitchen counter. I bite back the desperate whimper in my throat at the sight of his hard cock straining his black pants. My lips part as he stops by the couch. He gestures for me to get on it. My cheeks are pink, eyes wild, chest fluttering as I take slow, teasing steps. 

“The longer you take to get over here, the more angry I’m getting… the harder your lesson will be.” My green eyes sparkle. A slight smirk pulls one side of Nico’s lips up, reminding me he is still there even as Nasty Nico is beginning to take over his body. Nasty Nico doesn’t like when I’m an ungrateful brat. Or when I whine at how hard he fucks me, or pulls my hair, or shoves his fingers into my mouth. He demands for me to be a good girl, his best girl, while I take him so well.

My folds are slick as I come to stand next to him. His hands reach for my big t-shirt- an old one of his he won’t wear anymore, from a playoff series that didn’t result in a cup. The old fabric teases my nipples when his fingers work it over my head. His thumbs come up, probing the puckered skin until I sigh. Nico kisses along my cheek until he gets to my ear. He tugs the lobe with his teeth, then continues with his lips down my throat. 

He lowers himself to the couch. Then he grabs my fingers, tugging me to bend down so he can suck a nipple into his mouth. I grip the back of his head, working to straddle his lap. Nico’s hand wraps around my waist, releasing my nipple. He jerks me forward, pinning me down to his side with my ass in the air. The harsh vibration of skin hitting rips through our living room. I moan, savoring the feel of my ass cheek tingling beneath his hand. His palm rubs over the area, then he digs his fingers in to heartily grip the muscle.

“That what you want baby, hm? You frustrated with me?”

“Yeah, asshole.” I sigh.

SLAP!

“Oh.” I moan. 

“Keep it up.” His tone is searing. He pins me down harder, gripping the waistband of my leggings. I turn my face out of the couch cushion, unable to see him, but the coolness of the room strokes against my wet, pulsing heat. 

His finger prints bleed into my ass, then pull apart my cheeks to hear the crudeness of my wet folds splitting open from his force. Despite his profession, Nico’s hands are relatively soft, no callous or hard points, so the smoothness of his palms over my bare ass have me closing my eyes. It’s a hard distinction, between how good his skin feels on me and how hard his next slap is. I jolt, screwing my eyes tightly shut. Those same fingers get soft again, going to explore my folds. He gathers my wetness on his fingers, then slides his middle finger into my entrance. I’m more than ready and pulse my muscles around him.

“Mmm, greedy girl today.” He stuffs another finger inside, fucking me hard with them as I try to press my hips back into his hand. His thumb rolls over my clit. 

“Cap.” I groan, “want your cock.” My hips buck back, finding enough momentum to thrust his fingers deeper into me. Nico steadies me for a moment, curling his fingers up, rolling them over the velvet spot inside of me. I quiver around his appendages.

“You can have my cock when you cum.” 

Everything gets wetter at his dirty words. Nico's free hand finds my nipple, rolling it between three of his fingers as he fucks me with his hand. I moan, wiggling under his pin and bucking my hips again. Nico lets me this time, groaning as I take over. The distinct slurp of wetness from each rock into him has Nico cooing encouragement to me.

“You looks so sexy right now.” He praises me. 

I moan loudly, then cum. Nico takes over, gently riding me through the orgasm. He pulls his fingers out, releasing me from my position and letting my knees straddle him upright again. I grab his wrist and before he can even demand, I wrap my mouth around his middle finger. The sweet, tanginess of myself explodes in my mouth. Nico’s pupils blow wider at the sight, mouth dropping ajar. I close my eyes and hum. His breathy moan dances across my face. 

“I taste so good for you. Only you.” I confess after finishing his ring finger.

“Mine. Forever.” He grabs the back of my neck to pull me in for a hot, wet kiss. We moan into each others mouthes. Nico helps me work my pants the rest of the way off. Then he drops his sweatpants and underwear to the floor. I watch, intoxicated, as his thighs tighten while stepping out of them. Fuck, I want those thighs slamming into the back of mine.

“Hard, Nico.” I request as he strokes his cock in front of me. The tip of him is swollenly pink, oozing already. “So hard.” I moan as he puts that same head against my clit. He slaps it there. I bruise my bottom lip with my teeth. Another small whimper pushes out. Nico smirks, slapping my clit again. A bead of his pre-cum sticks there, creating a thin line of connection as he pull himself away. 

“My pussy.” He reminds the room as he bottoms out inside of me. I groan at how tight the fit always is at first. He works his way all the way out, then does the same push forward. Nico moans this time. “So wet for me. Know how much you like it when I slap your ass.” 

“Mmhm.” He brings his fingers up oo my mouth, the same ones that made me this wet, and he stuffs them back into my mouth. He watches them slide in and out, pressing down on my tongue as he presses his cock deeper inside of me. 

“Look how good you are for me today. Even though you’re mad at me. Such a good girl, Lex. My perfect wife.” The last praise gets me and I moan loudly through the room. He pulls his fingers out of my mouth, bringing them instead to my clit as he leans farther forward. “Kiss me.” He demands. I curl up, pressing our tongues together, then allowing his to hurriedly enter my mouth. 

“Right there.” I moan, shivering, feeling the tightness in my body coil to an unbearable point. My face scrunches up in pleasure and I put my forehead to his big shoulder as I scream out his name in ecstasy. Bright hot white explodes across my eyelids as Nico fucks me faster and harder. “Oh my god!” I yell, feeling myself tighten up again, instantly. Nico picks me up off the couch, fucking hard and fast. His balls slap against my ass as those powerful, hockey thighs take me to heaven again. This time, he comes too. He curses in his languages, almost dropping me as his powerful orgasm explodes inside of me. His fingers bruise me in his desperate grasp to keep me upright.

A freight train of blood rolls through my ears, trying to regulate me after two incredible, back to back orgasms. Nico lays me on the couch, staying on his knees between my spread legs as he curses again to the ceiling. After a few moments, I hear the faint call of a little girl.

“Daddy?” Lucie’s small voice comes from the monitor in her room.

Nico’s brown gaze come back to me. We are both panting, barely breathing. Lucie cries on the monitor again, then Nasty Nico disappears completely, and in his place is my sweet husband. He reaches from my hips, flipping me so my ass is in the air again. Nico leans down, kissing the red marks he’s left on my flushed skin. Once he is satisfied they have been fully covered with his appreciative mouth, he leans forward, connecting his chest with my back.

“I’ll get her.” He murmurs. “I love you.” He closes his eyes as he says it like a grateful prayer. “You need help getting to our room?”

“Mhm.” I respond. He chuckles, pulling my naked body up into his arms. He hands me my clothes before we move towards the hall. I lay my cheek on his shoulder.

“One minute, LuLu.” Nico sweetly calls to her when we walk past her room. “Gotta take care of my number one girl first.”

“I am not your number one girl.” It’s light hearted and I chuckle as I say it. Nico hates it and makes me look at him.

“What? Yes you are.” Nico is confused. 

“It’s Lucie.” I shrug like it’s obvious.

“No, it is not.” Nico shakes his head insistently. “It’s you, baby. No matter how many girls we have in our life, you’ll always be first.”

I know better than to argue further with Captain Nico Hischier.

[babybammargera]

Pranking Vito

Raab x reader (but it's mostly just messing w vito)

"I don't wanna help Vito move. Do we have to be up at 7 am?" You sit on the Margera couch between Raab and Ryan, your boyfriend throws his arms around you and Ry to puts his gross sock clad feet in your lap. April pushes Bam and Dico into the room, both still in pjs, clearly had just woke up and got dragged downstairs like you, "It sucks but someones gotta do it or he'll just keep up with his tantrum and you know it." Bam had no doubt tried to whine his way out but it clearly hadn't worked on his already fed up mom. "Jess is almost here with him, the quicker you help him into the new house the faster he's out of our hair. I don't want to hear another word about it until it's done. Now to the kitchen you need to eat." The group sleepily follows Ape, knowing that even if no one had an appetite this early you'd need caffeine to deal with Vito. After Ape feeds everyone and a pot of coffee is consumed between the 5 of you the sound of Vito echos through the front door. His voice causes the entire group to groan, earning a glare from April. You stand up, "Better get dressed." You run up the stairs with the boys following, narrowly avoiding Vito. After you and Raab get dressed there's a knock on the door, it opens to reveal Bam, "I already told Ry the plan, we prank Vito every chance we get today. He won't ask us to help again. You two in?" Raab nods and looks at you, "I'm down. Babe?" You grin, "He's a total creep. I'm in." Bam clearly satisfied with this answer leaves the room to tell Dico his plan. You follow Raab downstairs to join the rest of the guys who are already over Vito's antics. He yells, "about time you come down! Hurry up!" You roll your eyes and Raab pulls you to Ryan's car. After a 30 min drive Ry parks behind the moving truck as Jess jumps out. You climb out of the back seat and wave him over whispering Bam's plan to him as soon as he's close enough. He nods and opens the truck as Vito waddles to the front door to unlock it. As soon as the key hits the lock Bam honks his horn causing him to jump and drop his keys, "Dammit Bam!" Bam shrugs, "My bad Vito." Everyone begins carrying boxes and unpacking, trying to ignore the rambling of Bam's uncle. When Vito turns away for another box Dico looks at you putting a finger to his lips before pulling an airhorn from his back pocket. You stifle a giggle and cover your ears as the sound startles Vito causing him to drop the box he grabbed, "Assholes!" You smile going back to your task. After you "accidentally" spill Vito's beer you run out of the kitchen picking up a box to take it upstairs only to see Raab standing next Ryan at the top holding an ironing board. "What's the plan here?" You nod to the item in your boyfriends hands. He grins and steals a kiss, "stair surfing gonna knock him on his ass." You step to the side looking over the railing. Ryan yells, "Vitooooooo!" Within seconds he comes shuffling into view yelling too, "The hell are ya yelling for?" Before you can crack a smile your boyfriend hurtles down the stairs laying on the ironing board. Bam jumps back before Raab collides with Vito sending them both tumbling to the floor. "This is the last damn time I ask any of you asses for help" He struggles back to his feet. You can't help but fall to your knees taking Ryan down with you both laughing hard. With tears starting to roll down your face from laughing, you watch as your boyfriend sprints away with Vito scrambling after him causing you to laugh even harder. You stumble down the stairs Ryan following behind gasping through giggles. You get outside and see that Raab has locked himself in the cab of the empty moving van making Vito furious. He walks back up the stairs pissed at the sight of his nephews and their friends slumped together giggling on the ground outside the front door, "get outta here all of you!" He slams the door behind him and Bam holds his hand up highfiving the group still on the ground holding his side with one arm, "Mission accomplished. Let's go eat."

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 287: Family Reunion

Previously on BnHA: The Tomura For One VS Deku And Pals clusterfuck reached new levels of clustfuckery as AFO possessed Tomura’s body and stabbed Kacchan and Endeavor. Shouto was all “good thing I leveled up offscreen so as to be able to fly around whilst carrying 400lbs worth of people”, and did just that and it was like, damn, son. Meanwhile Deku’s rage went Mach 100, and he kicked Tomura’s ass for almost two whole seconds, but in the process he apparently forgot that IF TOMURA TOUCHES HIM THAT IS VERY BAD, and so he stupidly let Tomura touch him and Tomura was all “GAME, SET.” Fortunately for Deku, his quirk plays by its own rules, and so the chapter ended with us cutting to the METAPHYSICAL OFA/AFO PARANORMAL DREAMSCAPE OF MYSTICAL BULLSHIT, where AFO!Vestige was all “lol Tomura y u mad”, and Nana!Vestige was all “SUP DEKU, YOU’RE JUST IN TIME, LOOKS LIKE IT’S ASSKICKING O’CLOCK.” I’m paraphrasing a bit, but that’s more or less the gist of it.

Today on BnHA: AFO is all “well if it isn’t Tomura’s grandmother who I murdered that one time”, and Deku is all “?”, and AFO is all “fucking vestiges, man, wild”, and Deku is all “??”, and AFO is all “ANYWAYS GETTIM TOMURA”, and OFA is all “NOT SO FAST”, and Deku is all “???”, and really, same. AFO then goes off on some wild tangent about how Deku is unworthy because he couldn’t protect everyone and needed help from OFA and got mad about his friends being stabbed, which is such a cold take it gave me hypothermia, but it ends up not mattering since Deku and Tomura both wake up seconds later with OFA still in the possession of its rightful owner, HOW ABOUT THAT. The chapter ends with the LoV approaching on Gigantomachia’s back with Dabi practically salivating at the mouth, and Toga trying to reignite an old fandom blood feud. Toga why would you do this to me. Toga.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[CROWD LOSING THEIR MINDS] FINALLY THE NANA HAS COME BACK TO BNHA!! IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE NANA IS COOKIN!!!!! [RINGSIDE BELL CHIMING WILDLY] [LOUD AIRHORN NOISES]

“chapter 287: mistake” omg. yeah I’ll say you made a mistake, AFO. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE FLEETING LAST MOMENTS OF YOUR SHITTY EVIL LIFE

(ETA: so in all seriousness this must be referring to AFO’s belief that All Might/OFA made a mistake in choosing Deku, right? “I can’t believe you went and chose this shounen manga protagonist as your champion, what were you thinking.” I’ll just put this out there: however many comic books AFO read as a child, it clearly was not enough.)

wow Deku how slow are you

yes you’re inside OFA you dimbulb, did you think your clothes suddenly vanished out of the blue and the ghost of Nana just randomly appeared in the real world by some freak coincidence?? can you believe this kid. breaks his arms a measly 10-15 times in a row and all of a sudden he can’t think straight, get it together Deku

but also brb having a moment at the fact that his thoughts immediately run back to Kacchan, even with all of this nonsense going on and Nana about to lay the beatdown on AFO’s potato-lookin’ ass. forget that noise, all he wants to know is whether or not Kacchan is all right. fuckin’ geez. AM I OVERREACTING HERE A BIT. probably

(ETA: ALSO!! the way he just trails off!! “Kacchan is...” and then he can’t bring himself to complete the thought. oh my god my heart.)

HOLY SHIT

okay,

damn but this man sure knows how to ruffle my feathers. as eminently detestable as ever!!

could it be any clearer here that AFO is not on Tomura’s side?? for a moment I thought he had actually grabbed him by the back of the head in order to get him to look. but nope, he’s just resting his pointing hand on top of his head instead while he’s all “HEY TOMURA LOL IT’S THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD PATHETIC GRANDMA”

for those keeping track at home, this would be the first time that Deku has heard this information -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandson -- and possibly the first time Vestige!Nana has heard it as well. Nana died when Kotarou was still a child, so for all we know the Vestige!Nana didn’t even know she had a grandson, lol. TODAY ON “MAKESTE RANTS AT LENGTH ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE ADDRESSED WITHIN THE NEXT THREE PANELS”, anyway moving on

lmao for the record I fucking LOLed at this giant question mark immediately bubbling up over Deku’s head

no idea what AFO is about to ramble on about now, haven’t read that far yet. but let the record show that Deku’s immediate reaction to hearing “BTW NANA IS YOUR ARCHNEMESIS’S GRANDMA LULZ” is everything I could have hoped for

(ETA: fandom nailed the shit out of this one with the confused Mr. Krabs meme lmao.)

okay so now AFO is monologuing at length about how he would sometimes have “riveting dreams” about the previous owners of all the quirks he stole. but once he gave the quirks away they stopped bothering him?? holy moly let me just take all the notes

okay so he’s saying that Vestiges are created whenever someone has their quirk stolen by AFO. but if they then disappear when he gives the quirks away, does that also mean that whoever receives the quirks also gets the original owner’s Vestige bundled in every time?? that would be wild okay hold up let me read the rest of this

so he’s saying that the Vestiges are actually the “consciousnesses” of the original quirk owners, which have become embedded in their dna or something. SOUNDS INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS TO ME LOL but on the other hand this is a world where children can be born with airplane heads, so my disbelief can hardly afford to pick and choose what it’s gonna be suspended at! anyways though, how does he know he’s the only one who was able to converse with them? did you conduct detailed six-month follow-up interviews with everyone you gave quirks to or what

and if it really is the case that this ability was formerly exclusive to him, isn’t that more evidence than ever that OFA and AFO are actually THE EXACT SAME QUIRK oh whoops am I getting ahead of myself again, sorry

MEANWHILE TOMURA IS ALL, “GRANDMA?”

“WHY AM I HERE, WELL LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, GRANDSON. YOU SEE THAT MAN GROWING OUT OF YOUR RIBCAGE THERE? WELL IT’S JUST THE FUNNIEST THING, ACTUALLY”

WAIT SO IS HE SAYING THEY’RE SOULS OR NOT??

this makes it sound like they won’t ever get to rest, which sure sounds like a soul thing to me. well whatever, soul, consciousness, I guess it’s just semantics at the end of the day

anyways though, so this asshole is finally done talking (I’m sure that won’t last), so now we can finally have the heartwarming reunion we’ve all been waiting for

sigh

-- actually, no, not “sigh”!! you know what!! because Tomura says “whatever the reason”, but that’s only because he doesn’t actually have a fucking clue about the reason. like, I don’t know if the knowledge that AFO killed Nana would be enough to give him pause, but if he knew the whole story and knew that AFO was behind not only Nana’s death, but the rest of his family’s deaths as well... now that would be a whole different thing

anyway. but at least it’s becoming clearer now why AFO spent all that time raising Tomura up as his heir and brainwashing him even though he seems to have been planning this body takeover the whole time. it’s all because he loves making people miserable! yaaaaay

btw HAS NANA HAD THE EXACT SAME MOLE ON HER CHIN AS TOMURA THIS ENTIRE TIME WTF. am I just the least observant person who ever lived lmao

lol wtf

ground: [randomly starts exploding]

Deku: “ONE FOR ALL IS BEING ERODED!!!” LOL IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE, OKAY THEN. I’ll take your word for it

y’all I cannot fucking get over this “AFO growing out of Tomura’s hip socket like a fucked-up ventriloquist dummy” shit though

you do realize that absolutely no one can take you seriously right now, right?? it’s important to me that you know this

WHAT’S THIS NOW

seems like SOMEONE has had it up to here with a certain SOMEONE ELSE’S bullshit lmaooo bye Felicia

I SAID GOOD DAY!!

you guys why is he not dying!!

-- OH DAMN

love how Deku is just lying there like “YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, THIS MIGHT AS WELL HAPPEN.” poor Deku

(ETA: where in god’s name is OFA Prime standing. why are my thoughts fully consumed by this lmao.)

are Nana and OFA Prime even doing anything?? why are they sticking their arms out like that. wait hold up is this all a big metaphor for the back-and-forth going on between Tomura trying to steal OFA and OFA being all “actually no you can’t, please enter your password and click on all the boxes with bicycles in them to prove you’re a human first”?

OH SNAP OFA PRIME SAID NO THANKS

“SORRY BRO WE’VE ALREADY MADE OURSELVES AT HOME HERE”

I have only just noticed that metaphysical!Deku has the same scars as actual!Deku. and yet his arms are not currently broken! that doesn’t really seem consistent to me but whatever!! maybe he saved right before the boss battle, that would be smart of him

anyway, that’s great and all that OFA Prime is here helping out, but I really wanted to see Nana fight AFO in a one on one though so I’m a bit disappointed. also why is it only the two of them?? where are Banjou and the others. of all the times to be sleeping on the job

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, THIS MAN

WOULD YOU STOP. WOULD YOU JUST QUIT IT ALREADY

oh shit hold up

doesn’t this confirm that the reason he wanted to transfer his power to Tomura is because he believed it would make him strong enough to finally take OFA because of Quirk Singularity? jesus christ. and here he was so sure of himself. but it turns out he doesn’t actually know shit! you can’t just fucking take OFA like that ya dingdong that’s not how it works

(ETA: SO, A THOUGHT -- is there any sort of subtle hinting here in the way that he words this? “if your strength is combined with mine”, as opposed to “if my strength is combined with yours”? no idea if the admittedly-so-small-as-to-be-almost-inconsequential distinction between those two sentences exists in the original Japanese or not, but I find it very interesting that the English wording implies that he’s the one adding Tomura’s strength to his own, rather than vice versa.)

now he’s insulting Deku!!

excuse me sir WHO ASKED YOU anyway. and never mind that being consumed by an, AND I QUOTE, “unquenchable” rage is your protege’s whole THING, and that he also needed your help to avoid being burned to a crisp a short while ago. where do you get off I swear

(ETA: also just want to point out that in the panel before this one he says that he’s been “watching through Tomura”, which pretty much confirms that his consciousness or whatever is alive inside of him all the time. Tomura is definitely not getting rid of this guy any time soon.)

WOW

first he calls Kacchan useless, then he calls Deku a simpleton, and don’t even get me started with Nana. just, you guys. this man is just... a very, very rude man

NOW OFA IS ALL “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES HIM SUCH A GOOD PROTAGNIST YOU BUTTMUNCH” AND OMG PREACH

“DESPITE HIS COMMON SENSE” sdfkllk my man he already has one brother roasting him, take it easy guy

AHH WHAT

IS THIS BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

YEP

hahaha nice try Tomura

so Deku’s all “I didn’t lose my power! BUT” and I assume the “but” is the part where his arms are still broken and shit, and meanwhile Tomura’s body is almost healed up now finally

they’re both wiped out and now AFO is again petitioning Tomura to let him take over goddammit

“you won’t lose your mind” yep, he sure won’t! scout’s honor!! pinky swear!!

meanwhile Deku is getting fucking desperate flkjl;k my baby. and Machia is going to show up any second now too, probably. what else can fucking go wrong at this point

oh shit I shouldn’t have asked

get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuumble, probably

OH MY GOD

WELL AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. jesus

so as soon as he heard Endeavor was there he got all, “TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL”, is that right? WELL JOKE’S ON YOU TOUYA, YOUR DAD DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT CONSCIOUS AT THE MOMENT, SO THAT’S GOING TO DRAIN A LOT OF THE TENSION FROM THE SCENE WHEN YOU GO ALL REVERSE DARTH VADER ON HIM AND HE’S ALL “ZZZZZZZZ”

meanwhile Toga is having unsettlingly quiet angst

jesus christ Toga this is all we need right now

“WAS JIN-KUN NOT A PERSON” sdkfjlk Horikoshi I swear. please have mercy on this fandom. this is the debate that refuses to die!!

but seriously ffs, the issue isn’t that Jin deserved to die, it’s that the countless people whom Jin would have either directly or indirectly killed didn’t deserve to die either. people don’t only become people when you attach names and faces to them! we all loved Jin because we’d gotten to know him, but that doesn’t mean his life was inherently worth more than the lives of all the people he would have killed. sometimes there’s just no good answer

like, it’s just crazy to me that because the heroes are all “we want to protect everyone!” but then aren’t always able to do so because that’s literally impossible, whereas the villains are all “we don’t care about anyone other than the select few people that we actually like!”, the villains somehow wind up getting the better PR. it just so happens that it’s infinitely easier to be loyal to the interests of a few people as opposed to ALL THE PEOPLE. like, no shit, it’s easier to stick to your moral code when you barely have a moral code. and so the villains can kill thousands and no one bats an eye, but if a hero fails to save even one person they’re hypocritical moral failures. like what the hell

BUT ANYWAY, sorry to go off on a tangent there lol, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just preemptively trying to stave off more discourse about it lol but who am I even kidding

anyways lol, but of course they won’t kill you unless they have no choice, Toga. but when it comes to catch-22 situations, it’s a bit much to infer that the heroes don’t consider the villains people just because they opt for the choice that spares more innocent lives. I sure as hell don’t want my babies out here killing people, but to say that they can’t no matter what or else they’re no different from the villains is just...

anyway so the chapter has now just ENDED, just like that!! on a shot of Ochako’s face!

I SENSE ANOTHER THROWDOWN COMING. and it had better not be a total letdown like the last one! NANA BARELY DID ANYTHING HORIKOSHI, WHAT THE FUCK. I started out with such high hopes lol

but I will settle for Toga VS Ochako, and Deku VS Tomura: The Sequel: Shouto’s Revenge! SPEAKING OF HEROES WHO HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE lmao

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

airhorn sounds in your ear as you try to sleep ITS FIC TIME, CHILDREN

His father’s first reaction is, predictably, nervous. They’re sitting in the living room as a family, all sort of hanging out, but doing their own thing. Hoarders is passively playing, Lydia is tucked under the couch with a book and flashlight, Emily is in the corner with her laptop, and BJ and Charles are each sitting on opposite ends of the couch, going through their phones. He gets a very sweet text from Adam, showing that the other teen has put the photo Lydia took of them in a frame, and he grins, and holds the device to his chest, feeling giddy and flustered. His dad notices. “What’s got you in such a good mood?” Charles smiles, and BJ figures this is as good a time as any. “I got a text from my boyfriend.” Charles stares. From her chair in the corner, Emily’s typing slows, and then stops, as her brain catches up with that sentence. His phone pings again, and he looks back down at a message from Barbara, then back to his parents. “And my girlfriend.” Emily closes her computer. Her smile is enormous. “Shut up.” “No, seriously!” he grins back at his mother, and then notes the color Charles is going. “Adam and Barbara?” Emily asks, knowingly, and he nods. “We made it official yesterday. I took em to th’ Smallpox Hospital.” “Awww! That’s so romantic!” “You’re dating?” Charles finally finds words. “Unclench your everything, dad, jeezus.” “It’s just… do you think that’s a good idea?” “I think it’s a great idea,” BJ says, a little defensive. “What, I’m not allowed to date? M’too weird for it?” “That’s not what I meant, BJ,” Charles frowns. But he can tell it kind of is.

“Charles, honey, he’s sixteen. He’s going to date,” Emily says softly, and Charles looks back at her. “But two people at once? And they’re-” “They’re what, Chuck?” “Humans. They’re human, BJ.” “Holy shit, they are? Here I thought they were just really crappy demons.” “I just don’t know if you’ve thought this through. Wouldn’t you be happier dating another demon?” “I don’t know any other demons, dad,” he growls, temper flaring. “Unless you want me to date Sam, an’ look like a total creep, since he’s stuck at like, ten.” “Stop it, BJ.” “You stop it! Just be happy for me!” “I am.. Happy. For you.” BJ sits back, crosses his arms, and scowls. “Got a funny way of showin’ it.” His father stands, and takes to pacing. Christ. “We should lay out ground rules.” “Me an’ Adam an’ Barb did that already.” “No, I mean, house rules,” Charles says, rubbing at his beard. “Things you’re allowed to do, and not. Oh, god, first things first, I’m going to get you a box of condoms.” Betelgeuse feels himself flush, and then Lydia finally pipes up, sticking her head out from under the couch. “Gross.”

“You’re seriously blowin’ this out of proportion. We’ve barely held hands!” “I was a teenager. I remember how things escalate. The last thing we need is someone pregnant. Especially with whatever a human and a demon would make.” “Th’ anti-Christ, maybe,” he says, unhelpfully, and he sees the way his dad’s expression twists into further worry. “It was a joke! Oh my god!”

His mother, bless her, swoops in, just then. “BJ’s just told us good news,” she says, standing, and putting a hand on Charles’ arm, which stops his pacing. “I need you to reassess how you’re making him feel, right now.” Charles looks from his wife to his son. BJ rubs at his nose, embarrassed and upset, and probably purple, and he sees his father make a choice. “BJ, I’m sorry,” Charles comes over, hesitantly reaches down, and Betelgeuse responds by throwing his arms around his dad. Chuck rubs his back. “Tell me about them,” he says, “and I promise to be cool. As cool as I can be, at least.”

That’s at least something. He can tell his dad is still worried, but he does listen, as Betelgeuse describes his two partners. “We spend a lotta time together,” he tells his father. “An’ they’re both goody two shoes. Seriously, they’re borin’, nice people.” “Tell us how you met them, BJ,” Emily smiles. He regales them with the story of Barbara and the flower, and then Adam in the library, and by the time he’s done, he’s back to feeling green, all smiles and excitement and stimming hands. It feels really, really good to not be alone.

Monday comes a day too soon, and he sort of misses the atmosphere of the library, because at lunch, he’s forced to pick up trash, with Honeywell watching him intently from a bench. The only consolation prize to this is the vice principal’s time is also being wasted. He doesn’t miss how a few kids walk by and intentionally throw things at his feet for him to pick up. They don’t get away with it, though, because either they trip and find their shoelaces are mysteriously tied together, or for those unlucky ones without laces, they’ll find a snake in their lockers. The miserable part is, Adam and Barbara aren’t allowed to hang out with him while he’s working. They’d tried, and were told in no uncertain terms to leave him alone, leave him to his task, or they’d be sent to the other side of the campus to do the same thing. A little bit of punishment, he understands. But he draws the line at threatening Sexy and Babs. He’s absolutely plotting exactly how he’s going to ruin the overbearing adult’s day when he feels a strange sensation in his chest, like a slight tug. He pauses. It’s not a pain, not really, more like a pull away from himself, which doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what it is. He has to assume it’s another demon thing.

He glances at his watcher, who seems engrossed in paperwork.

Man, if only this guy would fuck off, he could be enjoying lunch with his friends- The pull away from himself is stronger, this time. He concentrates on it, and then remembers how physical the summoning of clones is, requiring a motion like he’s tossing something, and he gives that a try, this time, gently lobbing nothing at a student passing by. The kid looks surprised, and then goes rigid, and he thinks maybe he’s killed someone for the first time, but then the teen straightens up, and stands, stiff, facing him, and BJ feels mentally split, between two bodies. He raises his right hand. The student mirrors the action, eyes wide, confused. He lowers it, then kicks his leg out to the side, and again, he’s copied. Not copied.. Followed? The other student is like a marionette, and his mind is the strings, or something close to that. “Possession,” he grins, wickedly, and then he pulls himself back all to one body, and the kid falls on his ass, confused, and scrambles away.

Oh, he is so going to use this new power for evil.

“BJ Deetz! I don’t see this quad getting any cleaner!” Honeywell has looked up from his paperwork to find Betelgeuse standing there, grinning to himself, and the teen responds by spinning around, and throwing nothing at the overbearing authority figure. Honeywell also goes rigid, and BJ lifts his hands, directing the VP to stand, and the hapless adult does so. “Looks clean enough to me,” he mouths, and hears that sentence come out of Honeywell’s lips. “Clean enough to eat offa!” With a swiping motion, he forces the man to knock his own hardly touched lunch to the ground, and then BJ crouches low, and the adult follows, shoving his face into what was clearly leftovers from some night’s dinner, and coming back up with a mouthful of noodles and dirt. The big man’s eyes are wide. He’s scared, confused. It’s thrilling. With a hand motion, BJ forces the breather’s face back into the mess of food and dirt, and doesn’t let him up until the muffled cries become truly panicked. Possession out in public might be a bit too noticeable, though, because there’s a gathering group of kids watching what the teacher is doing, their phones out, taking video, and he doesn’t need them connecting his own strange movements back to Honeywell’s. He makes a final hand motion, releasing the adult, and shoves his hands in his pockets, just in time for Adam and Barbara to appear as faces in the crowd. Honeywell, freed, sits up, coughing and sputtering, and looking horrified. “What the heck happened?” Adam asks, and BJ shrugs. “He started throwin’ a fit, outta no where,” he lies, but he feels the vice principal watching him, staring up from the dirt, where he’s still sat, dazed. He gives the adult a grin. “Totally fuckin’ weird.”

The rest of his lunch period is freed up, suddenly, as Honeywell goes to clean himself off in the men’s room.

This fun new ability requires further testing, but not right now, now when Adam and Barbara are around. Soon, though. Very soon. “I’m really bummed we can’t be in the library anymore. I tried to pop in to grab something this morning and the librarian chased me out.” Adam looks genuinely sad, at that, which startles BJ out of his downright vicious thoughts. “By the way,” Adam adds, “They put up the casting sheet today. Want to guess who got that dentist part?” Barbara is grinning wide. “Me?” he croaks. A few other kids tried for it.. He didn’t think he’d get picked, honestly, thought that maybe someone more likable, or more friendly, would be chosen over him, but Barbara squishes his cheeks in her hands. “You!” she cheers, and he blushes. “You’re going to be amazing! But that means,” she tells him, suddenly serious, “-that you have to actually try.” He nods, as much as he can, her hands still on either side of his face. “Effort,” he grunts. “Got it.” She leans forward and kisses the tip of his nose. He scrambles to throw his hood over his head, and cinches it closed, knowing for a fact he’s gone pink from the tips of his hair down to the roots. “BJ?” Barbara giggles, as he peers out at her from his hood. “Should I not do that?” “NO! No, no, I, uh, just.. Warn a guy, next time.”

He hadn’t thought through the logistics of this, clearly, because he can’t be scrambling away from them every time one of them kisses him, just because his stupid hair won’t behave itself. God, he’s going to have to start wearing a beanie, or something, until he can get this color thing under control. Annoyingly, his dad was right. He really hadn’t given this much thought, beyond, Adam and Barbara pretty, wanna kiss them. Now he’s got to work out the logistics of how he’s going to actually achieve that goal, without basically, for lack of a better word, outing himself. He doesn’t want to think that something like what happened with Kevin could happen again, but he hadn’t really seen that situation coming, and it had ended about as poorly as a budding romance can, with parental murder. So yeah, he’s not exactly confident he can trust them with this secret. Better to keep it to himself, play his cards close to the chest, not let them all the way in. That’s safest for all of them. Good plan, BJ, he thinks to himself, watching Barbara dust wood shavings out of Adam’s hair, a leftover byproduct of his shop class. No one gets hurt. No one has to know anything. He can keep playing human with his cute new partners for as long as they’ll let him.

Stretching before him, suddenly, he foresees a lifetime, several lifetimes actually, given the span of existence for a demon, lifetimes full of deceit and lies and partners who age without him, and it all makes him very tired, and sad. This is going to be how it is, he realizes. He’s going to pretend and mimic and do his best to fit himself into a template that he wasn’t made for, and he’s presumably going to be doing it forever, maybe until the minute the last human takes their last breath, because playing human is as close as he can get. It's easier to play pretend, throw a glamour on and act along, than to be himself and risk the pain and rejection, or the truth that maybe his worth is tied into what he can do, not who he is. It all leaves him dizzy, this sudden moment of unwanted clarity. He pushes it down, far down at it can go, to somewhere deep in his chest, and tries to come back to this moment, right now, because his boyfriend is looking at him. “You going to stay in that hood all day, shy guy?” Adam smiles, and BJ peels the hood back, and runs a hand through the mop of green mess that passes for his hair, and smiles, like he didn’t just have a mini existential crisis in the middle of a Monday afternoon. “What do you guys do for lunch when you’re not being wooed by an errant library assistant?” Betelgeuse forces an extra bit of pep that he doesn’t feel into his voice, and Barbara brightens. “You can come meet my friends!” She says, and he lets her lead him by the hand, across the quad, a corpse playing pretend at being alive, holding hands with the living.

They find Barbara’s friends at the lunch tables. He’s never sat over here, never really had reason to be over here at all, actually, because each table is always claimed by a friend group, and he’s never felt welcome enough to try and squeeze in with any of them. But he sort of has a group now, he supposes. If three can be a crowd, it can be a group. He does feel eyes on him as he’s directed on where to sit by Barbara, other kids at other tables watching him, maybe confused on how he’s ingratiated himself enough to actually have a place to sit. Barbara arranges where they sit, seemingly very intentionally, with herself between Betelgeuse and Adam, and Allison and Blair on the other side of the table, and they begin eating. The air is a little tense. He picks at his lunch, leftovers Charles packed for him. It smells amazing, but he doesn’t want to scarf it all down, not when he’s feeling watched, the way he is. And he is being watched, very intently so, by Barbara’s friends, who are apparently also Adam’s friends. Everyone but him seems to know so many other people. It’s almost insane, like, how do they keep them all straight? He’s only vaguely aware of which one of these similar white girls is Blair, because he’s spoken to her, at least once. Allison might as well be a balloon with a face painted on it. “So,” Blair puts down her fork. She’s eating a dry salad with little chunks of chicken in it, low carb, low cal. He’d be worried for her health if he gave a shit. “So,” he copies her instinctively, tilting her head the same way she does, holding his hands in front of himself in a mirror of her own movements. Barbara catches what he’s doing, and gives his arm a gentle pinch. “Is this for real?” Blair isn’t asking him, she’s looking between Adam and Barbara, who are both looking a little surprised at the sudden question. “What do you mean?” Adam asks, unsure, and Blair gestures between the three of them. “This whole.. This! When Barbara said she suddenly had two boyfriends, I had to check my calendar, make sure it wasn’t April Fool’s. And then it turns out to be you and..” Her eyes fall back on Betelgeuse. “Him. You, Adam, I get. You and Barbara together, that makes sense. But, like, BJ?” “Sure, if you’re offerin’,” he says, and Blair makes a face. Go on over to Ao3 to read the rest!! There's more waiting for your hungry eyes over there

[dragoqueen]

Whoops! Wrong Way 6/8

Summary: Peter has been living at Avengers Tower for 2 years, known to the workers and Avengers as Peter Parker-Stark-Rogers.  When his teacher announces that they're going on a field trip to Avengers Tower, or SI,  he's going to have to attempt to survive a day of embarrassment and keeping a secret identity.

Words: 1558

“Okay guys here’s the plan, mostly just protect Peter because he and that idiot Flash kid need to be the last ones so Peter can do something cool and get him out. That’s your only goal- get everyone out and protect Peter, alright?” There's a chorus of yesses that confirm her plan. She nods and motions for them to spread out around the base to be ready to run to better guns when the round starts. Just in time too. Right when they get to the starting positions FRIDAY begins counting down, “three… two… one… begin!” there’s an airhorn sound and the Avengers start their nerf gun battle.

Peter immediately starts climbing up the floating parkour platforms, dodging a few bullets while he’s at it. He jumps from platform to platform till he reaches a giant automatic nerf gun with a strap attached to it. He slings it over his shoulder and continues climbing until he gets to a high point where he can see the entire arena. There’s a snipe with extra ammo there, which he takes before laying on the ground to start sniping the other side. 

His first target is Sam. he’s at a disadvantage because he can’t use his wings in the nerf arena. He’s grounded and without a good gun. Peter smiles as he steadies his gun, focusing on Sam he takes a shot.

Misses. 

He quickly reloads while Sam begins looking around wildly, trying to figure out where the first bullet came from. Peter aims at Sam again and before Sam can retaliate, there’s a second bullet and he’s out, “Bird Brain #2 is out.” Friday announces. 

“Dang it Sam,” Steve calls out from across the arena, “already?” 

“Shut it, the kid freaking sniped me, you know how he is in these games,”

Peter laughs and begins looking for his next target. Meanwhile, Scott has shrunk down and begun sneaking over to Peter’s side. He turns back to normal size right behind Ned, quickly shooting him with the starter pistol. FRIDAY announced that Ned is now out. MJ takes the advantage of Scott celebrating and not paying attention to sneak up behind him and shoot him. He groans in frustration as FRIDAY announces he’s out, and goes to join Ned and Sam in the spectators section. 

Peter watches the commotion behind him and shoots MJ a quick thumbs up before returning to watching the opposing team, oblivious to the merc slowly making his way towards him. For some reason, his spidey-sense doesn't alert him of Wade until he’s jumped in front of him with the pistol aimed right at him. Peter puts his hands up and yells dramatically, “just kill me now!”

Wade chuckles, “I’m not here to kill you, BabyBoy. I’m here to team with you. I’m still mad at you for now putting me on your team, but I also hate my team. So, here I am!” 

“Heck yeah! Unfair advantage for the win. Great to have you on out- HOLY CRAP, watch out babe!” 

Their teaming is interrupted when a bullet hits Wade straight in the head. “Ha! Headshot it doesn’t count!” he announces glaring at Natasha who had shot him from behind one of the bunkers. She’s still smirking and a few seconds later they figure out why, “unfortunately, Deathboy, headshots are counted in this game. You are out.”

“You’re the worst Natasha! I was going to team with you!”

“That’s payback for stealing Peter from me during Hair Club.” she announces smugly. 

“Nat, really? Did you have to get my boyfriend out?” Peter asks. 

“Sorry маленький паук (little spider) he’s from the other side.”

“It’s alright мама паук (mama spider), ready to get the rest out?” 

“Let's do it.” 

Peter picks up his sniper and rushes off the platform, jumping towards a rope. He swings from rope to rope until he gets to another platform. He jumps and does a flip before landing and getting back in a sniper position he sees a flash of blue before he gets shot with a bullet. “I’m hit, dang it! FRIDAY who shot me?” 

“Turbo shot you. Although, you are still in because he used his powers so he is disqualified.”

“What the heck FRIDAY? How did you see that?”

Peter laughs, realizing that the update that he had been working on and uploaded on FRIDAY last night had upgraded her ability to see Pietro while using his powers. He watches Pietro exit the arena, leaving his guns by the door. Wanda and Nebula decide to take this moment to go get Pietro's guns and extra ammo. Wanda grabs the gun while Nebula covers for her. 

Suddenly, a bullet comes out of nowhere, hitting Nebula. Wanda turns around when FRIDAY announces that Nebula got shot, only to get hit by another bullet. Peter looks  across the arena and sees Clint in a dark corner with a piece of the arena covering him as a shield. He wants to tell him that he’s cheating but he knows that Clint will probably just shoot him anyway, so he remains silent. 

Steve finally decides to emerge from his bunker. Since he’s not allowed to use his shield, he’s taken to using a giant nerf gun instead. He runs across the arena, way too fast for Peter to be able to snipe him, towards MJ. all of her shots ricochet off of the giant gun he’s carrying until he’s within shooting range. Then, he pulls out the starter pistol and shoots her square in the chest. “That’s cheating, Cap.” she tries telling him until FRIDAY announces that she’s out. She glares at him as she exits the arena, and Peter knows that the next time there’s a prank war Steve is as good as dead. 

Meanwhile, Bucky creeps towards Steve, who’s currently looking for his next victim. He jumps out from behind one of the bunkers and uses his automated gun to shoot Steve. Around 100 bullets hit him, one after another. FRIDAY announces his ‘death’ and just like that it’s down to 5, 2 on Flash’s side and 3 on Peter’s. 

Clint and Peter are still on their perches, hidden from one another by a large tower at the center of the arena. Bucky is still creeping around where Steve got you and Natasha is a few feet away, hidden by a bunker. She appears to be strategizing. Flash is still hidden and hasn’t come out the entire game, so only Clint knows where he is. 

Peter detects movement out of the corner of his eye and turns to watch Clint slowly creep out of his corner; he silently places the piece of the arena on the platform before jumping away to another. He moves closer to the center of the arena to get a good aim of Bucky before Peter can shout a warning, Clint fires. Bucky’s out and it's now a 2 vs 2. 

Peter looks down towards Natasha, trying to signal to her they need a plan. She motions towards him and the huge tower at the center where he would be able to make a clear shot on Clint. He nods as she grabs Bucky’s fun and begins running from bunker to bunker, shooting at Clint every once in a while for good measure. 

Meanwhile, Peter moves silently throughout the arena, parkouring from platform to platform and swinging from a few ropes until he makes it to the tower. He jumps through the window and rolls to the food before jumping back up and moving to the window that has the best view of Clint. Just as he gets the shot lined up he hears FRIDA announce, “Scary Woman #1 is out.”

Three things happen in the moment one, Natasha shouts to Peter in Russia, “avenge me spider child, then get the bully out. I believe in you!” Two, Clint shouts, “I’m coming for you kid!” at the same time as, number three; Peter shoots Clint. 

Dramatically, Clint falls to the floor on his knees yelling, “No!” while FRIDAY announces that he's out. Peter grins, shouting, “I have avenged you мама паук (spider),” before returning his focus to winning the game. Flash is definitely going to stay hidden unless he’s been keeping track of- “Come out Parker! It’s just you and me. Don’t be a coward!” Flash announces, emerging from his bunker with two of the starter pistols. 

Nevermind, Peter thinks, this is going to be easier than I expected. And, as an added bonus, I’ll show off because I’m pretty sure Aunty Nat will run me through drills until even my enhanced healing can’t keep up if I don’t. 

He watches as Flash walks confidently around, trying to find where Peter is hiding. Just as he walks underneath the tower, Peter lets out a loud “whoop” sound and flips out of the widow. Flash looks up in panic, trying to find whatever devilish creature had just decided to rein it’s terror upon him. Instead, he’s met with the sight of Peter doing several flips as he falls towards him. 

Flash just manages to dodge out of the way, as Peter lands gracefully in front of him in Black Widow’s famous superhero pose. Flash falls to the ground and just lays there in school. Even when Peter walks towards him, grins maliciously and pulls out the giant gun that had been strapped to his back the entire game, pointing it directly at him. 

Before he can even think to react, Peter presses the trigger, causing all 150 bullets to hit Flash, rapid fire. 

There’s momentary silence as Peter runs out of ammo where only his heavy breathing can be heard. Finally, FRIDAY announces, “Eugene Thompson has been eliminated, Team Parker wins!” 

He noise in the arena suddenly explodes as Peter’s team and the tour group run in, congratulating Peter on his epic win, tormenting Flash for not doing anything, and talking about how awesome that battle was. Flash still hasn’t moved or talked, opting for sitting on the floor, his mouth opening and closing, gaping like a fish out of water. MJ uses this moment to sketch Flash in her crisis notebook. 

Peter, on the other hand, is grinning like a mad man and soaking up the attention for once. When everyone first came in it was surprising. His super senses weren’t too happy about the sudden explosion of noise, but Natasha had quickly yelled at them after seeing how distressed her baby spider appeared. 

After that, the questions come barreling in one after another. 

“How’d you learn to do that” (training with the Avengers)

“Why’d you act like that when getting Flash out?” (dramatic entrance) 

“Why’d you do Black Widow’s superhero pose?” (because it’s freaking awesome) 

The pose story actually was much longer than that. Some guys were harassing Nat one time about her pose and began to be super sexist and what not. After that the guys had all made their poses similar to Nat’s and even at one point all got dresses personally designed for each of them to wear to a special event. It was pretty awesome. However, that’s a lot to explain for one question so he left it at that. 

Finally, Nat tells them all to leave and meet the tour guide in the hallway, and that Peter and Flash would be with them shortly. They filed out, leaving their two classmates with the group of Avengers. 

Once they're all gone, Steve walks over to Flash and offers him his hand. Flash takes it, gratefully, and is lifted about halfway into the air before being dropped back on his butt. “Don’t mess with my kid again! I don’t condone bullying and, unfortunately for you, neither do any of the other Avengers.”

“I… what? Uh, I.. I di- didn’t. No sir!: Flash manages to stutter out before standing up and running to join the tour group. 

“And you, don’t think we aren’t aware that this kid has been bullying you for who knows how long. Your father, you, and I will be having a conversation about  it tonight.” Steve tells Peter sternly. 

“On that note… that was amazing! You finally listened to  advice on how to make a grand entrance! 

“Figured there'd be some sort of consequence if I didn’t.” “You’re dang right, маленький паук (little spider). Now go join your class.”

He nods, leaving after a quick hair ruffle from Bucky and a kiss from Wade. Ned grins at him as he rejoins the class, too starstruck from having a nerf battle with the Avengers to be able to talk. Flash, who Peter hadn’t previously noticed walking strangely close to him, begins slowing his pace until he’s directly behind Peter, “next place we go, meet me in the bathroom… or else it will be 10 times worse when we get back to school.” 

Peter mentally groans at the last part even with his enhanced healing Flash could cause some serious bruises and leave him limping, something Peter didn’t want his family seeing. So, when they arrive at the higher-up intern labs and Flash asks to go to the restroom, Peter waits a few minutes before also excusing himself to the restroom.

[deuce-duce]

Am I...?? (Inwardly GASPS)!! Which Part...??

Today is March 2nd 2021 and I got my puter back and went to look at what I had last written on December 16th 2020. When I opened the file, it had been changed… dates had been obscured and certain things had been reworded… So… I have decided to go back through all of my previous posts to ensure the integrity of what I am writing stays that way! During this process I will be putting together a collection of my favorite quotes and post fragments. Which I will dub Rock and Roll’s Greatest Hits, if you live near me go buy airhorns Ill tell you why, When the greatest hits album comes out. What your about to read is primarily from Dec. 16th with a few changes or should I say… restorations?? Probably a little of both to be honest. Everything is still as it happened, I just add better descriptive words and fine tune the analogies so that they are easier to digest… My English teacher always told me that was what I was good at! Along with many others… who have said the same… not only do I understand it… I’m able to explain it in a way that others understand as well. ENJOY

On the seventh of December I woke up not too sure if something had occurred that night or not… as I have mentioned before they use a numbing agent that basically masks the pain until it wears off approximately 12 hours later… When I a woke on this day I was having moments of clarity and for some reason just couldn’t keep them to myself. talking to one of the staff members of the homeless shelter I expressed my destiny that I actually had one, that was going to bring me to greatness… then out of nowhere I just blurted out there is going to be a power shift!!!! And at that very moment I couldn’t believe what it was that had just come out of my mouth. I didn’t even believe it at first because the guy at the desk was like IDK… about… that… but when I went back into my room, the look on my roommate’s face said it all!! It seems as though those who pull strings and orchestrate a lot of this… put all of their eggs into one basket. I don’t know exactly what the terms of thee bet were but I’m assuming it had/has something to do with me not being able to control my compulsivity associated with my dissociation. Unfortunately for them I made a deal with God. It was while I was on quarantine and even though I was in a basement all by myself people kept F$%^&*!> with me. This is when I prayed stating that I would not falter, for my body his temple his craft and his glory. that I need to take care of myself and my destiny, for it is in his hands and I won’t let my selfishness or imperfections stop him from fulfilling his plan. Over and over again I have cried and cried about how fundamental and powerful this is all going to be. EFFIN CRAZY!! And now that I know without anyone telling me and it literally being given to me somehow is what is freaking everybody out. How do I know or how the hell did I figure it out!! I really couldn’t tell you and the only thing that is possible is that our Creator endowed me with such responsibility. Crazy!! (this was before I considered the probability of God being a woman, A mother, A Lover)

Low and behold one of my favorite artists Mr. Kid, Maniac, Rager, Wizard, Pursuer of Happiness Cudi dropped a new album entitled Man on the MOON Three. Ill have to say it’s a wonderfully made album! The album delves deep into who Scott is… I know the Fans are going to love it.

Rewind a little bit sorry for my hiatus just needed to stay focused and well as your aware have been led here not by accident and had some things that I needed to take care of before I started writing again. Not to mention I have been dealing with a lot only to know that I am who I am for a reason Rockstar Knights off MOTM3 has a lot to say concerning who I am and what I have realized as a result to my struggle. The Song is a collab with Trippie Redd and really encapsulates so much, that its hard to describe in words.

I had a very interesting conversation with my mother the other day and came to a pretty profound thought. 1st I was telling her how I was being told that I am too….!!! Smart!! Like WTF!! REALLY!! Is that even a thing?? But I didn’t let it get to me too much as it probably is the reason I face so much adversity, No matter the community I enter into. This is how I have explained it to her and a couple other people in the community as well as the Rasta Man in the PNW. The best analogy I could present is if a plant with a fire burning so big and so hot on one side of the plant, a fire so big and hot that it probably would kill most other plants, but not this plant. This plant had sooooo much drive and will to live that instead of giving up it grew in the opposite direction of the blaze. While the roots could withstand the blazing inferno becoming one with the heat and pain Upon the journey away from the fire (society) the plant developed different characteristics colors and attributes that no other plant had. Essentially that journey completely changed that plants physiology Psychology and possible its genetic makeup altogether. Now that the plant has grown so far from the fire (Society) that its all alone. Now theres a different kind of fire where he once thought was safe. But as he grows back towards the fire to escape the new blaze (tyranny) he realizes he will never be able to be the same as the fire he grew so far away from. Now the only option the plant has with death being imminent is to grow as big and bright as quickly as possible before it is engulfed on all sides.

All this taken into account along with factoring in the two major belief structures in the world one Being Creation or Evolution (The Big BANG) this plant which has defied all odds still shines brightly displaying its colors and unique characteristics no matter how dark the room may be it still continues to bloom! Is this a Divine will and plan or are we experiencing the next step of Evolution??? My honest opinion is its both! For the mere ability to adapt and change and prevail in situations others couldn’t dream of or even have nightmares about is truly remarkable and in my eyes is an act of GOD! Just as any evolutionary step would be. The crazier part is… he has no handle!! Nothing to grab on to leaving no way for anyone to grab hold and control! AYE….

I thought this all might just be me being stubborn or simply an idiot until for some reason I opened up my meme App. Something I never open or even look at and the first thing that popped up was a picture and quote saying that many told Marilyn Monroe that she was only beautiful because of the clothes and dresses she wore. It then concluded Marilyn Monroe did a photoshoot in nothing but a burlap potato sack. The photos and the message she sent were completely opposite of that which was being said by spectators. Now!! As scrolled to the second meme I was expecting something funny!! That wasn’t the case what I saw next was the upcoming alignment of the two largest planets in the solar system Jupiter and Saturn. Not only does their alignment happen only every 20 years but the proximity of this occurrence to the earth as well as the proximity to each other hasn’t been the same for close to 800 years… What does it all mean… IDK but The Christmas Star is what their calling the alignment and if your familiar with the bible is the star that the kings, from other lands followed  to bring gifts to baby JESUS! Who knows what this alignment could usher in.?

So profound thought comes to me on a daily basis now it’s so strange the way that it comes it will just be momentary thoughts that will pass through my conscience and as they go by I latch on to it delve a little deeper and experience an overwhelming amount of… IDK what to call it but it feels very powerful so much so that it brings me to tears… I don’t know exactly what the future holds but I think that is what makes this so great! I just keep my mind open Like apple IOS Systems letting everything come and go as it pleases when something goes by that strikes me, I latch on and don’t let go. Its weird how it all happens.

Steve Jobs once said that if he had never had an acid trip that he would have never of come up with the operating system for Apple and after explaining to you what I do as a spiritual and destiny seeking process I believe was his thought process as well. This in of itself is what I think they mean when they say to keep an open mind. Just so you know I didn’t come up with that little bit about the late Mr. Jobs by plan it just came to me when thinking about how to have, use and keep an open mind.

The reason I explained this to you was because this is how I Pray! After I pray I sit still with an open mind allowing multiple ideas thoughts and perspectives to pass through my brain… until like an IOS operating system, something speaks to me… when I latch on to it, focus on what it means and what it will mean… “I Get Those Goosebumps Everytime” (Goosebumps, Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar, Birds in the Trap Sing Mcknight, 2016). This is how you know! A little extra for ya, when I went to look up the info for my first Hip Hop citation it was 11:11 lol there they go again… its really a cool feeling!

Can someone tell me if that APA or MLA…?? Ya know what!! Eff IT!! None of my writing is orthodox, besides I kinda like the way I did it haha

Kid Cudi’s new video just dropped and I couldn’t be more amazed with all of the hidden messages that are in there. He is officially the man on the moon. Passion pain and demon slaying like a maniac on the pursuit of happiness. Love that DUDE!!

That’s all I got for 12-16-2020 Five More Days…

LOVE & PEACE

Songs

Heaven On Earth – Kid Cudi

Goosebumps – Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar

Dirty Heads – Sound Of Change

 Just so you know the only thing I added this time other the cleaning up what I had already written was the praying part. Although I originally remember that being the purpose as to why I wrote what I did looking at it today March 2nd 2021 it wasn’t there… have a great day everyone. Ill post this on 3/3/2021

I've added parts to the story on my business cards and will leave then random places, what you do with them is up to you but I think It would be cool for those who want to stop me to have to work extra hard just like they make me!!  

LOVE

[fairymadnessyeah]

Memories of the past

Or My Erasermic week day 1 2020

This takes place in my Shigaraki Youtuber AU.

You can find the fic in AO3 here--------------------------------------------------------------------> https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484736/chapters/57040882

And the AU Series here--->https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601044

Notes:  I completely headcanon Aizawa and Hizashi having a crush on each other in high school, but believing that the other had a crush on Oboro, so they would silently pine over the other, accepting they had 'one-sided' feeling, and Oboro would be in the middle of it all, trying to play matchmaker with Nemuri.

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meet cute/first kisses / a fresh start

It was a relatively normal day for class 2a. The weekend was in full swing, and the students were either studying, playing or simply hanging around the common area of the dorm. Shinsou entered the place, carrying two boxes with him.

"Hey Shinsou, what's with those boxes?" Kaminari asks him. He was talking with Ashido while they waited for Jirou to finish her project to listen to it.

"My parents had to clean off their home-office, and this is supposed to be all my stuff," He explained. Hizashi and Aizawa had been planning to clear off that storage room for years, but never got to it. Although now that Eri was living with them, the perfect moment to clean the office had finally appeared.

"You have your baby stuff in there?" Ashido asked excited, concentrating the attention of the others in the room.

"Maybe?" Ashido let out a squeal and took the two boxes from the purpled haired teen. Leaving them in one of the tables and opening them.

Shinsou shrugged as she went through the first box. He had little to be ashamed of, and there weren't many pictures of him as a child. He had hated being in photos when Aizawa and Hizashi had first fostered him. Only after they adopted him, did he seemed okay with the idea, and that was when he was around 10-11 years old.

Mina, and the half the class that gathered round to see, took all of the things inside the first box. There was a fluffy blanket with cats ("That was Nemuri sensei's first birthday present," Shinsou told them as he touched the blanket nostalgically.) , an ugly green sweater that also had cat faces in it  ("Eri has the same one, Aizawa has terrible taste," The others winced at the atrocious piece.) , an old lilac sock-puppet cat with long arms and legs ("Its name its Mr soft paws and I couldn't sleep without it, okay!" Shinsou admitted after a little of convincing and threats of taking it. He was completely red.)  and a used ukelele  ("Mic taught me how to play but I forgot most of the lessons," Shinsou tells them).

Then they opened the second box, now everybody had dropped what they were doing to hear Shinsou's childhood stories with their teachers.

"Look at this retro aviator jacket!" Kaminari says as he tries on the item.

"That's... not mine," Shinsou says confused.

"I think it belongs to your parents," Jirou deduces as she takes a lot of CD's off the box. "These are all very old bands and some of them I haven't even heard about them,"

"What is this?" Sero asks as he takes black plastic rectangles from the box.

"Those are VHS!" Momo says. "They are like old DVD's, maybe there are home movies recorded on them!"

"I have an old VHS player in my room, I'll go get it!" Izuku says as he runs to his room.

As they wait for Izuku, the others take out even more CD's and some photo albums. They don't get to open them though as Midoriya comes back with the device. They spent a couple of minutes trying to connect it to the TV, but they made it and they put on the first tape.

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It was night time and in the middle of the woods. Small chuckles could be heard through the video. The camera points to a tent and a tall young teenager, who was wearing a black undershirt and UA sport uniform pants, zip it open. The guy has white hair styled upwards and he is holding a tiny airhorn. He is trying to hide his laugh by covering his mouth as he shakes the small device.

"C'mon, Oboro, do it," An amused voice comes from the one filming.

The guy, Oboro, places his hand holding the horn inside and with a big smile, sounds it off. A lot of screaming follows.

"Ahhhhhh! What the Hell!? Who is that!?" A young Aizawa pops his head out of the tent and scowls at the retreating and dying of laughter albino and the shaking cameramen. "Hizashi, Oboro, you're  dead !"

"No, no, no,Shouta, No!"

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The video was paused. All the student were speechless. Because that was his teacher. A smaller, younger version of his teacher. In what seemed to be a camping trip. And somebody played a prank on him.

His teacher had been a stupid teenager.

They knew that Aizawa had been their age at some point, but seeing id beliving.

"Keep playing it!" Sero shouted in a frenzy. Exited, astonished and confused for seeing his mature and logical teacher doing things they had done.

The others joined in. Demanding they keep watching, and the video was unpaused again.

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This time the video started in a bus, but the same low chuckles sounded through the tape. Aizawa and Hizashi senseis were sleeping right next to each other in the seats of the bus wearing the normal school uniform. The camera moves as a voice asks somebody to hold it. The boy from before comes into the picture, the guy their homeroom teacher called Oboro. He goes behind them, and moves Hizashi's head to Aizawa's shoulder and then places Aizawa's head over it. Both Oboro and the new camera crew are failing in trying to keep their laughter quiet.

Then, Aizawa opens his eyes and the Oboro guy goes away. Aizawa looks to his sleeping arrangement, then to the camera, back to the blonde and finally stays with the camera.

"Stop filming," The awake future teacher whispers as his face turns red.

More chuckles from outside the frame. "No way, this is gold," A low voice whispers back.

"Oboro, stop filming," The young raven whispers threateningly at the camera, giving it his scarry 'shut-up-class' stare but still blushing.

"Come here and make me, Shouta," The guy Oboro whispers in a challenging way. Aizawa moves, slowly and trying not to bother the other, but the blonde moans and stirs, making him stop dead where he is. Hizashi, then, reaches his arms around the raven and hugs him closer, placing his face in his neck. Somehow, Aizawa's blush deepens and Oboro's laugh gets louder. "Oh my god, Shouta, your face!... I didn't know it could get to that colour!" The boy continues to whisper.

"I hate you," Shouta whispers back and touches the back of the cuddling blonde.

Said blonde starts to stir and blinks himself awake. He looks up to his partner, get as red as a tomato and flings himself off the bus-seat with a 'WAAHH!'. His feet are over the handle and his back against the floor of the bus. Oboro laughs even harder and moves the camera to the blonde, showing a blushing Present Mic as he covers his face in embarrassment and repeatedly says he is sorry. When the camera returns to Aizawa, the boy is pouting with his arms crossed and looking through the window.

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The video starts on the UA campus. The camera is pointed to an Oboro in his school uniform.

"Are you filming?" He asks to the camera and a feminine voice responds positively. "Alright, this is my last idea. If this doesn't work nothing will. Go to the other side of the field and hide under the bleachers, and make sure you film everything. Text me when you get there,"

"Roger," The feminine voice answers and turns the camera to two other young teens. One with a scar across his face and the other was a Tenya-look-alike without his glasses. "Follow me, men," She says and starts her way through one of UA's fields until she and then gets under the bleachers. The small group travels until they stop and point the camera to a young Hizashi and Aizawa, sitting on the opposite bleachers and using their sports uniform. The two are contentedly talking and each have the end an earpiece, probably listening to the rectangular thing they were connected to.

A pair of hands suddenly appear near the backsides of their heads through the space between the seats. Then, the hands grab their heads and smash their faces together. The reaction was instant.

The camera shook in excitement as the small team laughed and got amused, so you could barely see the two blushing teenagers with how much it moved. When the camera focused again, Aizawa and Hizashi weren't there anymore.

"WORTH IT!" Oboro shouted as he ran across the field, Aizawa and Hizashi close behind him.

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The next video started on UA's auditorium. Aizawa and Hizashi were seated on the audience as well as the camera. The two were giggling with the same feminine voice asking what was she filming. Then they turn on the lights of the stage. And as the camera turns to the stage, Oboro that looks naked is picking up his stuff. The camera shakes and Oboro leaves the stage while the other ex-students laugh.

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The class keep on watching and watching going through all of the tapes. They saw one where Aizawa threw their English teacher like a ragdoll in the sports festival, they saw them work together on the cultural festival, they saw them with Kayama sensei, Kan sensei and Iida's brother, Tensei. And they also saw the guy Oboro.

They were on one tape where they had all gone on a road trip, renting a camper van and following a band for the summer before the school camp. They were watching as Aizawa and Kan sensei were getting in a fight with Tensei and Oboro trying to stop them while Yamada and Kayama cheered for them when said woman stepped into the dorm's common area.

"What are you watching?" She asked as they paused the home-video and she got a better look.

"Well-" Shinsou started but never got to finish.

"Oh, I remember that day! We got kicked out of the bar!" Kayama sensei tells them and sits with them to watch.

Sensei Kayama answered every doubt they had and gave them context to the videos and pictures. They watch for a couple of more minutes with the only grown-up commenting on what was happening until Jirou asked what type of concert was that.

"Oh it was the moving concert of Japan, for two entire weeks you followed the concert through the road. You guys would have liked it, too bad the internet killed it," The woman explains.

"How did the Internet killed a concert?" Shouto asks confused.

"What made the moving concert so great was that you didn't know where it was going to go next. The only way to find out was by a connection, if someone called you or by the radio," She explains. "With Social Media, everybody knew in a matter of seconds, so the whole thing lost its magic," Then, she turned to the TV and squealed. "You are going to love the next video!"

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The video started in a bar with some sort of stage. Oboro was climbing on it and once he was on it, he took the microphone.

"Hello, people! How are you doing?" He started talking. "Before you throw me out of the stage, my two best friends who have been pining over each other for a year and a half, are making out in the parking lot right about now, and I want to embarrass the shit out of them, so do you want to help?" A murmur goes around until it transforms into clapping. "Okay, alright. Now, when my two friends come through that door, I need you to scream, shout, clap, celebrate, go ape-shit-crazy!" Even more clapping happens.

"They're coming!" A voice shouts in the background and Oboro shushes everyone.

The lights of the bar dims. The camera moves to the front door and through it stepped in young Aizawa and Hizashi hand in hand. There is silence for a minute and then the whole bar explodes. People are cheering as if their favourite team won the world cup, streamers and confetti flow around, the music to 'Celebration' is going on. And Aizawa and Hizashi are in the middle of it. Both blushing like crazy and squeezing the other's hand.

"KIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!" Somebody screams, starting a chant. The chant kept growing until Aizawa grabbed Hizashi's face and kisses him. To which the bar explodes again.

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The days after the weekend, when Aizawa entered his class, everybody clapped and cheered, and then giggled, as if it was some part of an inside joke. And it got even worse when his husband came in for English, as they also put the song 'Celebration', as they laughed

[beautifultypewriter]

Well Played ~ Knights of Camelot

Requested: Yes / by @libbyangelofthelord

Warnings: Pranks (nothing mean or sadistic)

Word Count: 2,392 (I’m so sorry)

Pairing: None. Platonic relationships between the reader, Merlin, the knights, Gwen, Arthur, and Morgana

Summary: It’s a college AU! Reader is the victim of their friends’ latest prank. With the help of Morgana, Gwen, and a reluctant Arthur, Reader decides to get revenge.

A/N: I decided to make this a more modern AU and I thought putting everyone in college would be fun. Hope you’re okay with that!

If there was ever a time when you hated working off campus, it was now. Now, as you jogged to your car, unlocking the door with your key fob. Now, as you watched two purple balloons float gently to the pavement of the parking lot. With furrowed eyebrows, you looked up to see that your car had been filled entirely with gold and purple balloons. You stood completely still, staring at what you hoped was a figment of your imagination. There was no way you were going to be able to get to work on time; not with all of these balloons needing to be popped. Loud laughter drew your attention away from the disaster in front of you and you turned to see your friends not even twenty feet away. Gwaine was at the head of the pack, clearly the mastermind behind this prank. They moved closer to you and your confusion and worry turned to anger. They only grinned at you though, seemingly proud of what they would consider a genius idea. You probably would have laughed too, if this little prank didn’t mean that you were going to be late for work. “Need some help, Y/N?” Gwaine chuckled and you turned your angry eyes to him.

 “What is wrong with you?” You looked at each of the five men in front of you, “All of you.” Leon was the only one who looked a bit ashamed of his actions. The rest were too busy stifling their laughter.

 Percival was the next to speak, “Oh come on, can’t you take a joke?”

 You turned to your car and started sweeping the balloons onto the pavement, “Not when they make me late for work.” Morgana and Gwen had just gotten out of class and were on their way back to the dorm when they saw you struggling and came over to see what had happened. Gwen immediately went to the other side of the car and started sweeping balloons out.

 Morgana had other ideas, as she strolled over to the group of five, “No doubt you geniuses are to blame for this.”

 Gwaine laughed, “It’s just a prank, Morgana. No need to take up arms about it.”

 She waved him off, “Oh, just get out of here with your silly pranks.” The guys laughed again, but they followed her directions and ambled off to the quad. Morgana came over and started helping you cleanup the balloons, “Honestly, they think they’re so funny. I’m getting a little sick of their pranks.” You nodded, your attention solely on your car. Morgana gasped and you turned quickly to face her. She had what could only be described as an evil smirk on her face as she stared back at you, “How about some revenge?” Your own smirk spread across your lips as you processed her words.

 “Morgana, I think that would be lovely.”

 ~

 “Please, Arthur.”

 The blonde man sighed as he continued to highlight his notes, “Why should I help you create a mess in my dorm?”

 Morgana smiled at him, “Because you want to see Merlin be pranked as much as we do.”

 Gwen, who was sat next to her boyfriend, laughed, “She’s right, you know.” Arthur glared at her before turning back to his notes. You were sure that was going to be the end of it, but you were surprised when Arthur motioned to his backpack.

 “Key’s in the side pocket.” You and Morgana grinned at each other as you reached over and pulled the key from the bag. Morgana grabbed the bag of supplies that you had brought with you and started walking backwards, towards Arthur and Merlin’s dorm building.

 You followed her quickly, tossing one last thanks over your shoulder, “You are the best, Arthur.” You waved to your friend, “See you later, Gwen.” She waved back and then you and Morgana were off. You only had an hour before Merlin’s chem lab ended and you had a lot to do.

 You brushed your hands over your jeans after putting the finishing touch on your revenge for Merlin, “Okay, so Merlin should just be getting out of class now and it’s a five minute walk back to the dorm.” Morgana nodded and you sighed, “Let’s wait in the hall.” She nodded again and grabbed her bag before following you into the hall and carefully pulling the door closed behind her.

 “This is going to be so good.”

 You nodded and pulled her away from the door, “I can’t wait to see his face.” She laughed with you and the two of you moved down the hall, deciding to act like you were just coming down the hall at the same time as Merlin. Morgana was the lookout, as you continually checked your watch. Your head snapped up when Morgana started to hit your shoulder.

 “Here he comes.” You both stood up straight and composed yourselves as you moved down the hall together. The pair of you reached Merlin’s door at the same time he did and Morgana smiled at him, “Hey, Merlin.”

 He turned and smiled at both of you, “Hey, Morgana. Hey, Y/N.” You waved to him and he paused after unlocking his door to turn to you, “Look I wanted to apologize for the prank the other day. We didn’t know you had work. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble for being late.”

 You waved him off, “It’s no big deal. It was actually really funny, and I still have my job, so all is well.” You smiled, “No hard feelings.”

 Merlin smiled back, “Good. I’d hate to think you were mad at us.” He pushed open his door halfway, triggering the party poppers, which popped with a bang and rained confetti down on his head. He jumped back at the sound and you and Morgana laughed. He turned to you, “Okay, I get it. You wanted some revenge. Very well played.” He pushed the door open the rest of the way and jumped again when the airhorn you had taped to the wall behind the door sounded. Unfortunately, he had lost his footing and ended up on the floor. You and Morgana doubled over in laughter, trying to support each other as Merlin calmed himself and pushed himself back to his feet. “Very funny. Two for one?” You stopped laughing long enough to nod at him. Shaking his head, he turned to head into the room, “Well if you’re finished now, I’ve got some studying to do.” Merlin froze as he hit the tripwire and the bag holding the flour above him ripped and dumped its contents onto his head. You and Morgana fell into another fit of laughter as Merlin slowly turned and stared at you, flour covering his head and shoulders and sprinkled along his face. He nodded once, “Please tell me that’s it.”

 You nodded back, “Yep. See you later, Merlin.” He waved halfheartedly to you as Morgana pulled you down the hall.

 ~

 “I think going the simple route with Percival was a great idea.” Morgana nodded in agreement as you each lugged a large plastic bucket filled with ice water down the dorm hallway.

 “Oh definitely. He’s the one who will most be put off by the ice water.” As you reached the common bathroom, you put your bucket down to slowly ease the door open. You could hear Percival singing lowly and you were glad that he was the only one in the stalls at the time.

 You nodded to Morgana, “He’s alone.” She grinned and stepped into the steamy room, holding the door with her foot as you picked up your bucket again and stepped in behind her. You both moved quietly over to the shower stall that Percival was in, trying hard to contain your laughter. You and Morgana stood just outside the curtain where an oblivious Percival was still singing. You hoisted your bucket up and Morgana did the same. Then you whispered, “One, two, three.” And you both dumped the ice water over the curtain and onto Percival. You jumped back from the curtain and laughed as Percival yelped and cursed. He pushed the curtain aside and stuck his head out, looking around wildly. He spotted you, but before he could say anything, you grabbed Morgana’s hand and pulled her out into the hallway, laughing the entire time.

 ~

 “Alright, so Gwen said that Elyan and Leon passed out the moment they hit their beds, so we should be good to go.” You nodded at Morgana and she continued, “I was here earlier, so the door should just…” She pushed on the door and it opened easily. She grinned at you as she pulled the tape off of the locking mechanism on the door. You tiptoed in, carrying your bag of supplies, with Morgana following you. You giggled as you heard the boys snore.

 “Good thing Gwen convinced them to go to that party.” Morgana laughed as she nodded. Then you two got to work. You pulled the cups out of the bag and started placing them on every inch of the floor, so that there was no space between them. Morgana followed your movements, filling each cup halfway with water. You moved as quickly as you could, taking care not to make too much noise, though you were sure that nothing could wake Leon or Elyan at this point.

 As you stood in the doorway, you placed the last cup down and Morgana poured the last of the water into it. You two high-fived and shut the door before scurrying down the hall, heading back to your dorm.

 The next morning, you made sure to wake up early, so that you could see the result of last night’s prank. You jumped onto Morgana’s bed, shaking her awake. She jolted up and you laughed, “Ready to see our handiwork play out?”

 She grinned, “Of course.” She jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed as you laughed again. She turned to you, “Well are you going to get ready?” You nodded and changed out of your pajamas as Morgana stood by, tapping her foot. Just as you were about to head out, airhorn in hand, Gwen sat up, rubbing her eyes. She glanced over at you and chuckled.

 You smiled at her, “You coming, Gwen?”

 She shook her head and smiled, “No, you two have fun though.” You gave her a salute and rushed out the door, running to catch up with Morgana. It didn’t take long for you to reach Leon and Elyan’s dorm. You pushed open the door, just like Morgana had done last night, and sure enough the two were still passed out on their beds.

 You held up the airhorn, “Ready?” Morgana nodded and you pressed down on the trigger, causing three short bursts of sound to permeate the room. Leon and Elyan bolted upright, searching for the source of their rude awakening. Their eyes landed on you and Morgana and they glared. Leon moved to get out of bed, but you held a hand up to stop him, “Uh-uh, I’d be careful if I were you.” He looked down at the floor to see that he had no place to step unless he wanted water all over the floor and his bare feet. His head snapped up to you as Elyan looked around, seeing that he was also trapped on his bed. You waved, “See you guys later.” Morgana laughed as she pulled you away, the boys calling after you.

 ~

 “Alright, four down, only one to go.”

 Morgana grinned at you, “And let Gwaine’s be the sweetest revenge of them all.” You nodded once and then the two of you were off to Gwaine’s dorm. Since you had already pranked Percival, he agreed to let you into his and Gwaine’s dorm that night, so that you could complete your revenge. You knocked once on the door and he answered it, ushering you two in.

 “Alright, I’ve done my part. I’m going to bed now.”

 You nodded at him, “Thanks, Percival.”

 He waved you off, “Just don’t pour cold water in my shower again please.” You gave him a thumbs up and he nodded, heading over to his bed and collapsing onto the sheets. You turned to Morgana, nodded once, and then the two of you set out to grab every piece of clothing that Gwaine owned. Once you had everything, you left the dorm and headed outside.

 The next morning, Gwaine woke up, brushing his fingers through his unruly morning hair, and yawning. Percival was sitting up in his own bed and he mumbled a good morning to his roommate. Gwaine responded with another yawn and then he shuffled out of bed and over to his dresser. He pulled open the top drawer only to find that it was completely empty. He tried the second and the third drawer, both empty. He rushed over to his closet to see that it had been completely cleared out, even his shoes were gone. He turned to Percival, “Where are all of my clothes?”

 His roommate shrugged, “How on Earth should I know?” Gwaine spun in place, desperately trying to figure out what could have happened. He was broken from his thoughts at the sound of something hitting the window. He stepped over to the glass and opened it to find you poised to throw another pebble. He looked down as you waved up at him, Morgana next to you, doing the same. That’s when he saw it; his favorite shirt lying on the ground by your feet. And then he saw all his other clothes strewn about the lawn, thrown into trees, his shoes hanging from the branches. He frowned as his eyes travelled to the flagpole, where a pair of his pants had been hoisted up in place of the school’s flag. People were moving around the quad, staring at his clothes and laughing. Gwaine shook his head as he saw every one of his socks laid out on the edge of the fountain like some kind of decoration.

 Morgana laughed as she called up to him, “Oh come on, Gwaine. It’s just a prank.” He narrowed his eyes at her before his gaze moved to you. He smiled reluctantly and gave you a salute. Well Played.

[mamawolfblood]

Though he didn't know it yet Chris Mclean was in for a shocking revelation. One of the campers is not exactly just some rando kid. This camper is his kid and she is out to expose it.

Name : Iris  Escalona

Age 16

Eye color green

Caramel skin

Black hair that she keeps in a high ponytail. A Cherokee rose on the left side of the hair tie.

Iris is 5ft 8",135lb

Out fit-White tanktop with the alchemists symbol blue acid washed jean shorts black converses

Iris has a dark sense of humor. She loves horror,pranks,is resourceful. Iris is not above smashing some skulls together. She is not quick to anger but Heather pushes a lot of her buttons.

All her life she just wanted Chris to know she was alive. Her mother never gave the reason why she left. She is the oldest of seven children.

________chapter 6_________

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island… A talent contest brought out the worst in our campers. It was awesome! The Killer Bass struggled to find any talent on their team, and Bridgette’s clumsiness pretty much knocked out their best prospect, Courtney. Iris stood up to Heather, so Heather swore to make Iris's life miserable by stealing her diary and birth certificate. Then she read it in front of the entire viewing world, revealing that  Iris is my daughter. Then, Heather managed to save her butt by convincing the rest of the team to vote off Justin McGorgeousness. Who will be the next one to walk off this crappy dock? Find out tonight in the most dramatic marshmallow ceremony ever! On Total. Drama. Island!

Iris pov

I sat with Gwen and Leshawna waiting for my dad to arrive. "So is Chris really your dad?" Gwen asked I nod "I didn't want him to find out yet. I was waiting for the right moment to tell him myself. You know because it was my right to do so." I said Glaring at Heather.

(Confessionals)

Heather

"Oh please it will be easier to get rid of her now. They will take their anger out on her because of her dad. Oh this was just a freebi."

*static *

Iris

"That cow has another thing coming if she thinks I'm going down. She will be out before I am trust me."

(Static)

(End of Confessionals)

Chris: Campers, today’s challenge will test your outdoor survival skills. I’m not gonna lie to you. Some of you may not come back alive.[Beth and Owen gasp] Just joking. [laughs] All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team’s campsite in the forest. You just have to find it. Oh, and watch out for bears. Lost a couple of interns in pre-production. First team back for breakfast wins invincibility! [blows airhorn] Well, off you go!

Leshawna started to freak because of bears. This was followed by Owen saying he killed a bare. Izzy the proceeds to tell a storry about her encounter with a bare. This made Lindsay sick.

We all started to walk threw the woods to find our camp. Gwen looked a bit down so Trent tried to talk to her, but she just pushed him away. It was sad because the poor guy didn't know what to do.

I hope the other team will be ok.

*Meanwhile with the Killer Bass *

Katie: Sadie, lookBlueberries.

Sadie [after she gasps] : I love, love, love blueberries!

Katie: Oh my gosh! Me too!

(Confessional: Katie & Sadie)

Katie: Sadie and I are BFFFL’s.

Sadie: Best female friends for life.

Katie: We even got the chickenpox together!

Sadie: Oh my gosh, that was so fun.

Katie: It was so fun to have someone to scratch all your little scabs!

Sadie: I know, right?(confessional off)

(Honestly those two are just idiots)

Heather was complaining about I'm the next one getting voted off. Trent asked why and she said before "Iris took Harold's ant farm and poured on me!" She growls scratching I turn to face her. "Oh really it's my fault. I only did it because you did something to me unprovoked. I warm you now do anything like that again and it won't be ants in you be next time. "

I said my finger in her face. "Come on white girl lets focus on the challenge." Leshawna said pulling me along and away from Heather.

(Meanwhile with Katie and Sadie)

Katie: Okay. Those were so yummy. Can you believe how yummy those were?

Sadie: They were so yummy. Katie, where’s the rest of the team?

Katie: I don’t know. They must be nearby. Killer Bass, where are you?!

Sadie: Killer Bass! [gasps] This is just like when we were seven and we lost our moms at the mall.

Katie: And you started to cry and the security guards had to like, page our moms and they were so mad.

Sadie: Oh my gosh, like, take a pill. We’re fine.

Katie and Sadie[shouting]: Killer Bass, where are you?!

(Back to the Gophers)

I set up the tent and make a fire brake for the camp fire. "Wow you sure know what your doing. Unlike some people who are lazing around."  Leshawna said looking at Heather. "These hands were made for shopping not camping." She said crossing her arms. Owen and Trens talk about the task and Owen leaves to get food.

(Cut to Katie and Sadie.)

Sadie: You don’t know where we are, do you?

Katie: Yes! Okay, no. It’s so not my fault. Have you ever notice that all trees look the same?

Sadie: Ooh, I knew I should have known better than to listen to you.

Katie: What, you don’t think I’m smart enough to find them?

Sadie: You’re not exactly the best with like, directions.

Katie: Yuh-huh, I am!

Sadie: Nuh-uh! Apparently, you’re not! ‘Cause we’re L-O-S-T. Lost!

Katie blows raspberry

(Back at the screaming gopher's camp)

Everyone was waiting for Owen to come back with food. Some started to complain. "Hey what are you nibbling on over there." Gwen said looking at me. "Dried mint want some." I said holding up my bag. They take some when owen comes back with fish.

(Killer Bass camp)

Geoff makes a commitment about Bridgette. It didn't come out right.

Duncan: What’s for dinner, woman? I’m starving.

Courtney: I hope you don’t expect me to dignify that with a response.

DJ: Hey guys, look what I found![ pat, pats a bunny wich coughs]

Duncan: Well, I’ve never had rabbit stew before, but what the heck? I’m game.

DJ [after he sighs] : This is my new pet! I’m callin’ him Bunny!

Courtney: You couldn’t find any food? [gasps] Then it looks like we’re acting grubs and berries for dinner.

Duncan: Has anyone seen Tweedledumb and Tweedleidiot?

[creature howls]

(Screaming Gophers camp)

Owen has the Fish grilling

Trent and him start talking.

"So you and your grampa to down a bare?" I asked

Owen: Heck yes. It was the scariest day of my entire life.[Lindsay gasps.] We were out in the woods when we came upon the great beast. I tell you, he was ten feet high if he was a foot! And then he roared his terrible roar! [imitates roar] We grabbed our shotgun. We knew it was either him or us. It was nothing personal, just the law of the wild. And then, bam! One shot was all it took to fell the great beast. We took his blood and marked ourselves to honor him. It was a good death.

Heather was a skeptical about it. We all then noticed Izzy was gone and started yelling for her.

At the Killer Bass camp Ducan was telling a horror story)

Duncan: So suddenly… They-they heard this tap-tap-tapping on the side of the car. The girl started to freak out, and by this time, even the guy was getting a bit scared. So he turned the car on and he stepped on it. When they got back to the girl’s house, she opened the door and screamed! Because there, hanging from the door handle… [sinisterly] Was the bloody hook. They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really. Maybe even right here!

Killer Bass screaming.

Duncan laughs evilly.

Courtney: Duncan, that was so not funny!

Duncan: Oh, yes it was! I just wish it was all on camera! Uh, oh wait, it is!

Courtney: You are so vile. Do your parents even like you?

Duncan: I don’t know, Jumpy McChicken. I haven’t asked them lately.

[wolf howls]

Courtney gasps.

(At the Gophers camp)

In the trees everyone was arguing. That was till Leshawna fell come to find out the bare was Izzy. I jump down relived that she was ok. Once the fish was done we started to eat.

At the Killer Bass camp

Bright had to pee so she ventured out of the tent only to burn the tent down when a bat hit her face.

Courtney freaks out.

The next morning was a race back to camp when we reach it the Killer Bass were there but was pointed out that Sadie and Katie were missing. Only to have them show up a few seconds later.

Chris: All right, Killer Bass. One of your fishy butts is going home. Gophers, you’re going on an all-expense paid trip to… the Tuck Shop!

I watched the marshmallow ceremony  wanting to see who is going home.

Chris: You’ve all cast your votes The camper who does not recieve a marshmallow must immediately hit The Dock of Shame, grab the Boat of Losers, and get the heck outta here. And you can’t come back. Ever. Now. I can see you’re all tired, so tonight, I’ll just throw them to you. Savvy? Courtney. Duncan. Bridgette. DJ. Harold. Geoff. Tyler. Ladies. This is the final marshmallow of the evening. Sadie.

Sadie started to cry not wanting to let go of Katie.

I felt bad but it is what it is.

After everyone left and my dad closed the show me and him sat down and just hung out. Getting to know him is not that bad. We are kinda the same but he is more sinical than me.

[planetsam]

"Don't touch him!" Michael found himself yelling those words once again but it's not 2008, it's the present and his instinct to protect Alex hasn't wavered.

“Where’s Alex?” He asks, looking around.

He’s still a little dazed this deal with Jesse Manes worked. That everyone is back in one piece. Liz looks over from the circle of Max’s arms and then around. She shakes her head. Michael doesn’t fight the feeling of dread that he feels creeping up his spine. He doesn’t see Jesse either. He only fights not to broadcast his obvious concern because he wants the element of surprise. Being casual is impossible when you think this hard about it, but Michael has spent his entire life pretending to be casual when he feels anything but. He’s really fucking good at it. The first three rooms he manages to clear with a glance.

The fourth room, his room, he finds them.

It’s stunning how much and how little has changed in a decade. How they wind up in the same positions. Jesse has Alex up against the wall, both hands wrapped around his throat. The bottom of his leg is lifted off the ground, breaking the seal. Alex is as defiant as ever, both his hands locked around his father’s wrists. This time though Jesse’s eye is already swelling from a well landed blow. The second he appears at the doorway, both of them look over at him. He can see Jesse’s fingers press harder as Alex digs into his father’s wrists fighting to break the hold as his eyes go red and his lips tinge blue.

“Don’t touch him!” Michael says and throws himself at Jesse, tackling him to the ground.

So many things are the same but he sure as hell isn’t. He’s not a kid holding himself back anymore, desperate not to show what he is. But the thought of using his powers barely crosses his mind. He uses a language Jesse Manes understands. Unequivocally. This time it’s the hand that Jesse ruined that ruins his face. A decade of pain seems to come out as he strikes him, over and over again until Alex hauls him off. Jesse is wheezing and bloody and very much down for the count. Some part of him that’s the culmination of generations of selective alien breeding screams for more. More blood, until his heart stops beating. Until he can’t bleed. But Alex is in front of him, stopping him from getting what he wants.

“Hey, hey that’s enough. He’s down,” Alex croaks, “he’s out. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not!” Michael yells, “he should be dead!”

Alex nods in agreement.

“Not by you,” he says, flattening his hand on Michael’s chest, “come on.”

“We can’t just leave him here,” Michael protests.

“He’s not going anywhere,” Alex says.

Michael looks down and okay that might be fair. But he still uses his power to drag Jesse to the nearby desk and uses the zipties to bind his wrists behind him. They get out of the room and Michael throws every lock before he immediately turns to Alex. The color his back in his face but the bruising his already starting on his neck. Michael brings him into the kitchen and goes into the freezer drawer. He roots around and comes up with a pack of frozen peas. Grabbing the dishtowel, he wraps it around the pack and sits on the stool next to Alex, carefully putting it against his throat.

“Max is tapped out,” he says regretfully, “or I’d ask—“

“Bruising will fade faster,” Alex rasps with a wry smile.

He lets him hold the peas there and keeps his chin up. His eyes move to the side and he taps a finger on Michael’s hand, giving him a questioning look. Blood is on his hand, but it’s not his own. Michael smiles roughly and shakes his head.

“Come on, all those bar fights at the Pony and you think I can’t throw a punch?” Alex shrugs as much as he can, “you wound me,” Michael says with a dramatic sigh, “hold this,” he says.

He washes his hands quickly before he comes back and replaces Alex’s hand with his own. Alex tries to look anywhere else but eventually his eyes settle on his. Michael’s used to Alex having a million things to say and not speaking any of them. Throat or no throat. But he doesn’t want to let the awkwardness build. He doesn’t want Alex to go away or come up with a reason to leave. Michael would love to be the kind of person who has faith but in moments like these, he needs Alex there. More than usual. Despite everything.

“Thank you,” Alex says quietly.

“I should be saying that,” Michael says, “orange isn’t my color.”

“I mean for looking for me,” Alex says.

“Oh,” Michael looks down before meeting his eyes again, “I always look for you, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes shut briefly at the mention of his name. It’s been a long time since he’s said it where Alex can hear it. It’s another petty bullshit Alex didn’t deserve on top of everything else. Calling him ‘Manes’ was a low blow on his part, worse than Alex calling him Guerin. At least he had the luxury of never having met another Guerin. Any apology he makes right now isn’t going to be believed. Michael’s not sure any apology he ever makes will be enough for what he’s put them through. His head flies up as someone tries to come in for more ice or drinks and he flips them finger before sliding the door shut and throwing the lock.

“They’re fine,” he says, knowing full well Alex doesn’t want anyone to see him like this “how are the peas? Still cold?”

He moves the bag to inspect it when Alex is suddenly closer, taking it from his hands and grasping his. The emotion on his face is crippling and echoes something Michael was honestly planning to deal with later. Later or never. He fully wants to go back into the room and kill Jesse Manes for putting them in this position again. He’s hidden bodies before. No-one deserves it more. The only thing that keeps him sitting where he is, is the fact that here is where Alex is and he wants contact with him even more than he wants to kill Jesse.

“Shit, Alex—“

“Can you just—“ Alex cuts him off, leaning towards him. Michael presses his forehead to his, trying to steady his own emotions, “keep using my name?”

“Yeah of course,” Michael says, “of course I can,” he he feels Alex’s unsteady breath on his face, “I’m sorry I did that.”

“No,” Alex says with a wet sound, “I deserved—“

“No,” he cuts him off fiercely, “no you didn’t. Don’t say that. You didn’t deserve any of it. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I should have realized—“ he presses into Alex’s forehead, “I was so fucking stupid.”

Alex doesn’t correct him and he doesn’t leave. Michael lets that settle over him and root in his chest. Forgiveness is something neither of them have much experience with. Things that are truly unforgivable make up so much of their lives. It was hard to realize how badly he wanted to forgive Alex, but it was easy to do when he did it. He’s not prepared for how badly he wants his forgiveness in this moment. How much he wants each breath that comes across his face to be the one where he does it. He wants them to be on the same page. At the same time. For once. He doesn’t want this to go the way it did last time.

“I should—“ Alex goes to move back and Michael finds himself reaching for him.

“Stay?” He asks, “please just—“ Fuck, he can’t start crying too, “please.”

“I’m right here,” Alex says softly, taking his hand and settling it on his other while he swipes under his eyes with the back of his hand and then reaches for the peas.

“Oh, shit, right, hang on,” Michael scrambles over to the fridge and practically cracks his head open coming back with a bag of corn. He swaps out the towel and then gently pushes the bag against the bruises, “better?”

“Yes,” Alex says.

“No more talking,” Michael says, executively deciding for the sake of Alex’s bruised neck, “we can talk later. Right now just let’s do this,” he looks at him, “Sound good?”

Alex gives a slight nod.

They both turn at the sound of shoes coming towards them. Thankfully they are pumps and there is only one pair. Isobel rounds the corner and puts her hands on her hips, waiting for an explanation. First she gives Alex a once over and then fixes Michael with a look.

“Jesse Manes is unconscious in my room,” he says, “could you—“

“Only because it’s Jesse,” she says.

“Thank you!” He shouts after her, “love you! Also, could you get rid of everyone?”

Isobel has ranted at him for many hours how perfectly timed events are her ‘thing’. Parties have a time window. They definitely have not hit that with this one, but shortly after she stomps off, she appears outside with an airhorn and kicks everyone out. Then it’s just the two of them. Alone. Another thing they haven’t done in months. The handprints on Alex’s neck are bruises and ugly, but not as swollen as they should be since they’ve been iced.

“Guerin I’m okay,” he says and his voice is a lot less raspy.

“Are you sure?” Michael says, rooting through the bottom of the freezer, “we’ve got frozen raspberries, but Isobel might try to kill us if we ruin breakfast,” he says before turning around with the bag in his hand, “we could risk it,” he says holding it up.

“Seriously, the swelling’s down. Now the bruises just have to heal.”

Michael ditches the raspberries in the freezer and comes back, gently tipping up his chin to inspect his neck. Above his head he hears Alex make a huff of frustration, but he lets him do his inspection. Michael gently touches one of the bruises. The skin is still warm.

“I can call Max,” he offers.

“Thank you but it’s okay,” he says, “two sets of handprints is enough,” Michael sighs, not liking the sound of it. Alex lets out a laugh before wincing, “maybe don’t make me laugh right now,” he says.

Alex doesn’t jerk out of his grip. He’s letting him touch him. Michael’s got one hand on his chin and the other is on his thigh. He doesn’t know if he’s pushing things already. But moving slowly has never been something he’s been great at. When he moves closer, he can tell Alex feels something shift too. He sees his eyes track him and his throat works, but he doesn’t move away. Michael gives him all the time before he leans the rest of the way forward and brushes his lips to one of the bruises.

A soft breath escapes Alex’s lips and Michael does the same with another. He kisses each of the bruises he can on the side of Alex’s neck. Then he moves to the other. When he switches hands, Alex turns and leans into his palm. Michael kisses the bruises on the other side of his neck and curls his fingers into Alex’s hair before he straitens up. He gently reaches out with his other hand, cupping Alex’s cheeks in both of his palms.

It’s Alex who very carefully moves forward and kisses him.

In the back of his head he thinks about the last time they were here and how things ended. About the kid who scrambled into his car and lost every bit of hope. Now as Alex kisses him, sitting at the kitchen table of the house he shares with his sister, he wonders if that kid could have ever imagined having so much hope it felt like it would burst from his chest.

“Is this okay?” Alex whispers against his lips.

“Yeah, Alex,” he says, “this is perfect.”

[angel--party]

The Message

hello !! ya boy has been (kinda) motivated lately and has actually finished a story for once. the story has a part in future mikeys backstory so yknow :-] im slowly working on his and melvinborgs story so bear with me guys!! im very slow

also, if you like this story then please reblog it! you dont have to but yknow.... i want people to read my stuff

and sorry if the beginning is cringey or ooc haha, i havent written stories about george and harold sooooo

but enjoy! i hope

story down below (kinda long i guess)

                                                     The message

 Meet George beard and Harold hutchins. George is the kid running down the hallway with the tie and pranking supplies. Harold is the one beside him with the t-shirt and even more pranking supplies. Remember that now. But you probably know this already.

“Man, it was so worth it using all our allowance to get all this junk!” George said.

“Yeah, were gonna have so much fun with it! We’re gonna prank everybody! But mr Krupp first, obviously.” Harold laughed.

They skidded to a halt and opened the door to the secretary office (what is it called?? Pff idk).

“Hey... wheres Ms. Anthrope?” Harold questioned. George ignored the fact and went through his bag of goodies. “Eh, I dunno. Probably on break or something. Which one should we go with first? The fake cockroaches, or the airhorn behind the door trick?”

But the blonde haired boy was busy looking around Ms. Anthropes area, just out of pure curiosity. Normal boring stuff, until he noticed something... odd.

“Hey, whats so interesting over there?” The other boy asked. He trotted over and saw his friend was looking weirdly at the computer screen. The screen was glitching and static-y, and was blue for some reason.

“Huh, that’s weird.”

“Thats what I was thinking! Why do you think its doing this?”

“Probably just a bug or something, I’m not a computer genius. Go ask Melvin.”

Harold scoffed at the thought of talking to that nerd. “No way! I’d rather talk to that cool Melvin. Man, If only that guy was still around.” He cupped his head in his hands.

Suddenly, the computer started spitting out eerie noises which got their attention. They looked at eachother with a nervous look, but decided to keep watching. The noises went on and started to become clearer. They nearly sounded like... words? Oh god, they were words.

“Oh no... is the computer haunted?” Harold murmured, grabbing onto Georges arm for support.

“No buddy, the only ghost here is... nevermind, I cant think of anything. It might be haunted!” he whimpered.

But somehow, it got even worse. The computer spewed its last words and a face popped onto the screen, that looked like...

“Mikey..?” they moth mumbled. “What is he doing?’

But, this Mikey looked different. Much older. You could only see from the shoulder up, but he was wearing a pink sweater with a white shirt collar. He had unsual short hair, but still had the classic eye covering bangs. Normally its hard to tell expressions without the eyes, but you could tell he was extremely worried. Then he spoke.

“h-hi, I’m uh- Mikey Popazzi. F-from the future, that is. Ive been trying to send this message for a while now. Its been hard because- y-yknow, future stuff.”

He gulped, trying to clear his throat and stop his stammering.

“I-Im looking for someone called Melvin Sneedly. O-Or as most people know him as Melvinborg.”

George and Harold stared at eachother in shock. N-No, he cant-

“Hes been keeping in touch with me until a few weeks ago. He- he suddenly stopped calling, and I was getting very worried. Ive tried contacting him multiple times, and he still hasn’t responded. I-its really scaring me. I-i knew this time travel thing wasn’t a good idea, I knew it!”

It sounded like he was choking on tears.

“Ive tried to travel back, but it hasn’t worked. I need to find another way, a-and ill find it soon. He wears a yellow shirt with a red bowtie, and has soft orange hair. Half of his body is a robot, so... I guess that wouldn’t be hard to spot. Hes around the Jerome horwitz school in Piqua. T-Thats all he told me though, so I hope hes still there. If you find him, PLEASE tell me! Tell him I’m worried! Tell him to come back!!”

At this point he had started sobbing, some tears running down his cheeks, but quickly wiped off by his sweater sleeve.

“I cant be alone anymore! I-I cant do this without him!! FIND HIM!! PLEASE HELP ME!!”

“HELP ME-“

Before he could continue any longer, the screen switched back to static. The message was over. The boys stood still with horror on their face trying to process what just happened. They looked at eachother with frightened eyes for the last time.

Was this real?

What were they gonnna do?

And if Mikey did come back,

  How are they gonna tell him about Melvinborg?

[jerrychos-blog]

Joke’s On You

Request: Oh man! Could you do something about a low key prank war that gradually comes to involve the entire bullpen at DPD that Connor, the reader, and Hank try to avoid getting caught up in, but one by one, they get caught up in it no matter how badly they each try to resist. Connor might be the last one caught up in it because he doesn’t get it at first, idk. But if you want to do this, you could either do a fic or a headcannon thing for this if you want, it doesn’t matter!

Pairing: Platonic Connor x Reader

Word Count: 1498

a/n: i hope this is what you wanted!! i had a lot of fun writing this, so thanks for being my first request!!

***

It had all started with a harmless little joke. Gavin had asked Officer Chen to grab him a coffee as she made her way to the break room. She added a bit of salt to it, despite knowing that Gavin Reed takes his coffee very fucking seriously. An unsuspecting Gavin had taken a nice, big sip of the drink, spitting it out all over his desk when the taste hit him.

Gavin soon got his revenge on Chen, and Officer Brown had caught wind of the two jokes. He pulled a prank on Officer Miller, and soon the four had a mini prank war of sorts going on. Eventually other officers in the station had seen or heard of a prank and joined in, more and more people slowly becoming victim to the jokes.

Now, the whole bullpen was involved in a full on prank war. Well, aside from you, Hank, and Connor. The three of you had tried your hardest for the past month to stay out of the war, and each day brought on new challenges. Today in particular was not a good one for Hank.

The lieutenant had barely slept the night before, and the lack of sleep cost him. He had started off the morning with a rigged chair. He neglected to check his computer chair before sitting in it, so when he sat down to start typing up a report of the case from the previous night, a piercing air horn had rang through the station. Startled, Hank had fallen out of his chair, hitting the ground hard. Now fully awake and incredibly grumpy, he ripped the airhorn from under his chair and started on his work.

The rest of the day had gone just as horribly for Hank, with just about everyone in on the pranks pitching in something in an attempt to pull the lieutenant in. The last straw was when he returned from a call to find his entire desk covered in bright pink post-it notes.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, if you wanted me in ‘yer stupid fuckin’ prank war so bad, you should’ve just asked!” he yelled, slamming a hand on his desk. Grumbling curses, he began removing the post-its from his desk.

You had been in the break room, discussing the findings from the scene with Connor when the outburst happened.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me, Connor,” you sighed, a small smile creeping onto your face at the sight of Hank, half covered in pink post-it notes.

“I’m going to be honest detective,” the android responded, “I don’t quite get the point of this ‘prank war’. There’s no benefit to making your coworkers angry at you, and it seems like a lot of effort for a small outcome. Is it really worth it?”

“Did you see the look on Hank’s face this morning when he sat down? Priceless!” you giggled at the thought.

“That still doesn’t explain why people participate in things like this.”

“Honestly, it’s just to have a little bit of fun. Yeah people get a little pissy when a prank is played on them, but they’re able to laugh about it later.”

“I suppose I have noticed an overall happier atmosphere in the station lately.”

“You’re over analyzing things Connor,” you say, patting his shoulder before heading back towards the pen to gather your things. “Just pay attention tomorrow and you’ll see what I mean.”

***

Fortunately, it wasn’t hard to pay attention to the pranks today, as everyone now had their attention focused on you. You had arrived at the station early for your shift, immediately getting to work and starting research on your next case. You’d been working for a few hours as the station filled up, and Officer Person had offered to grab you a coffee. Without thinking, you told her that’d be great and went on with your research.

Person returned with your coffee, setting it down next to you. You nodded your thanks, too focused on your work to properly look at the cup. You gulped it down, and a look somewhere between disgust and confusion spread across your face before you ran to the bathroom, nearly vomiting from the straight shot of creamer you had swallowed.

You were wary of everyone for the rest of the day, and as much as you hated to admit it, you really, really wanted to get Person back for fucking with your coffee. Much like Gavin, you took your coffee very seriously. A few minor pranks were played on you during the day, but none of them mattered. You had already decided on revenge. But first, you needed to get Connor in on the war somehow. As you finished up your work for the day, you called out to no one in particular.

“Guess who’s in on the prank war now, you got me. Sorry Connor, you’re on your own from now on.” You shot a wink at said android, grabbing your bag and heading out for the night.

***

You arrived at the station the next morning with a big grin plastered on your face. You had hatched up the perfect plan to get Connor involved in the prank war last night, and it consisted of whip cream and- you hoped- a lot of embarrassment. You checked in and made your way to the bullpen, dropping your things at your desk and heading into the break room for a coffee.

The rest of the morning was pretty dull, small pranks being pulled here and there, but nothing too serious. You had continued your research from yesterday, constantly keeping note of how many people were in the station: you wanted an audience. Lunchtime rolled around, and when everyone seemed to have returned from their breaks, you decided it was the perfect time to pull your prank.

You reached into your bag, pulling out a paper plate and some whip cream, spraying it onto the plate as quietly as possible. You hid the plate behind your back and approached Connor, holding back the grin that threatened to show.

“Connor? Can you c’mere for a second, I need to tell you something,” you asked, refusing to meet his gaze. He tilted his head at the request, but complied, slowly walking towards you.

“This is uh, a little embarrassing, and I don’t know how to tell you this but… I like you.”

Connor blinked at you, tilting his head again.

“Well I would hope so, Y/N. We’re partners, and it may hinder the investigation if we didn’t get along. I like you too.”

“No, Connor, I don’t think you understand,” you had the attention of almost everyone in the bullpen by now, your plan was working perfectly. “I mean to say that I have feelings for you. I want to be more than friends.”

“Oh…” Now all eyes were on you, the confession had worked. You were about to ask your next question, but Connor interrupted.

“I must admit, I feel the same way, Y/N,” he takes a step closer to you. “I often find that you take over my thoughts, you’re rather… distracting.”

Your mouth drops at this. This wasn’t part of the plan, and while you’re caught off guard, Connor absolutely covers you in an entire can of silly string.

“Hah! I just pranked you! It was a prank, Y/N! See, I used a shocking sentence to surprise you, and then I sprayed you with silly string! Pranked!”

You look down at the ground, taking a deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry Y/N, did I do something wrong? It was my understanding this is how-” you cut the android off by shoving the plate of whip cream in his face, making sure to rub it in a bit before removing it.

A grin spreads across your face, and Connor smiles as well, letting out a quiet chuckle before full on laughing. This makes you giggle a bit too, and soon you’re both in a heap on the floor of the bullpen, a laughing mess. When you both calm down a bit, you nudge his shoulder, and he turns to look at you, a big grin still plastered on his face.

“You definitely caught me off guard, I’ll give you that, but you definitely need to step your prank game up, Con.”

“I could say the same to you, Y/N.”

“For the record, I was taking it easy on you because I didn’t know how you’d react. Obviously, I could’ve started off with something a lot more intense.”

Connor snickers, and wipes some of the whip cream from his face onto yours. You shake your head and stand up, offering him a hand. He takes it and you help him up, pulling him close for a moment to whisper to him.

“Wanna help me get back at Person for fucking with my coffee?”

He glances towards the officer in question, a smug grin on his face.

“What’s the plan, Y/N?”

[zzz-cole]

garden of a heathen

(dear grains; chapter two)

dreaded

     emotions

          antagonize my

               demise...

still,

     my smile resonates.

          inside; i hide. pain,

                    lasting like the battle of

                         evermore.

sand stuck between Ebonita's toes, she dances atop the pacific ocean. its shifting shore leads her movement with each step she lifts. gravity attempts to suck away their tango

at the curves of her feet.

with a pourette turn, her right metatarsal's kick against the grains of sand to meet her left knee. a wave takes form in the deep, bluer waters. she to allows her body to twirl 400* degrees before witnessing the splashing foam. the heel of her right foot juts with a soft plop in the shallow edge. Ebonita's brunette spirals whip around her shoulders, causing the slightest sting.

the lapping waves on her ankles creates a smooth beat and she gently hums along with it. even under the midnight's glow, the florida heat kisses a sweatstache beneath her nostrils. starting a light skip toward the cresent's luring reflection, she leaps to follow the waters moonwalk. her feet land one after the other in the knee deep shore. Ebonita enjoys the gentle breeze beginning around her, allowing its wind to cool off her misted 5'3 petite body. her upper eyelashes press together as her chest rises and falls with her tired breathing.

sudden flickers of Ebonita's grandma illuminate her mind. the beautifully scarlet painted lips that would smile before asking, "¿Quiero bailar con migo?", echoes on her ear canal. shaking, her legs collapse beneath her and she hunches until her body is submerged by the liquid sea. finding her knuckles beneath her round chin, she allows the salt of her tears to blend with the ocean. bubbles escape from Ebonita's teeth as she tries to end the headache of uncontrollable crying with the calming ocean.

a harsh wave suddenly pushes her fetal position loose and shoves her knees to her left side. stretching her palms, she lifts her head with a deep gasp. matted curls curtains Ebonita's face with a small opening big enough for her nose and left eye.

a distant sputtering engine disrupts her duet like a broken record. her eyes shoot open to focus on where the sound is coming from. whale sperm stinging at her irises, she races on all fours for a few steps toward the shallower waters.

the headlight's of a beach patrol's golf cart burn parallel to the horizon. gravitating toward the tide now sunken to her ankles, the ease in her pace quickens. ebonita finds enough balance to awkwardly waddle at a slightly faster than walking speed. the wet sand mushes between her toes like slime.

beaches are so much prettier at night. Ebonita's brain pumps as sand from her sprint whips the backs of her thighs. if people didn't fucking litter so much, maybe a dance with the tides would be okay at this hour.

"STOP, young miss!" a harsh voice snares through an old airhorn.

Ebonita arms swing past her ribs as she makes a sudden left toward a tall branch she planted through the rocks upon arriving. she made sure to guard her small burgundy fannypack under a sand mound, and made splinters around its width. extreme paranoia causes Ebonita to hide her belongings wherever she goes.

a singular light appears bobbing a few miles behind her branch. in a frantic panic, Ebonita drops to her knees and palms unsure of where to go. she winces her eyes tight as her head pounds, 'idiots!'

squeezing the sand beneath the tips of her fingers, she sips oxygen wildly. her dancing tired her out more than she had realized. falling to right thigh, she turns her gaze back on the water behind her. Ebonita winces to avoid flying sand from the Beach Patrol's dusty golf carts pull up.

"curfew's been ringing for two hours and thirty seven minutes," the same harshness emerges from an airhorn manually tied with seaweed to the steering wheel. his voice was deep and unattractive under his cerulean visor, shade hiding his slender face. his tall silhouette shielded the headlights from Ebonita's vision. the pulsating in her temples quickened. "what're you doing here at this time of night?"

someone is taking their night shift way too seriously. Ebonita thinks as she drags her fistfuls of sand between her bended legs. nerves heating her skin, shes watches the rocky shell mixed grains. speckles of tan brown and off white soothe her pulsating skin. Ebonita mumbles, "just dancing."

the beach patrol crosses his arms and chuckles weirdly, "with no music—"

"no trespassers, mam," a slap hits Ebonita's arm before her sand covered fannypack lands on her right calf. a husky, out of breath patrol woman follows the direction of the throw. her height is nearly two thirds of the officer before. the dim moon masks her features as well. "gonna need you to empty that bag of yours. now!" the patrol woman nods between pants.

"the ocean creates a symphony, if you've ever tried to listen, sir. the only thing in here is litter, which is often dismissed on this beach..." Ebonita grunts, trying her best to gulp an attitude down. snatching her bag with a hug, she unclasps its belongings. a nearly empty sunscreen bottle, raspberry mint chapstick, beer caps, bunches of shredded paper, straws and junk pollute the ground she had just polished. "really wasn't doing anything wrong on this bitch," she mutters.

the patrol woman's shoulders droop to the right in a slight embarrassment. she takes a glance at the patrol driver before putting a hand on her left hip. Ebonita notices thick gloves covering the patrol woman's hands. she bends her legs to match Ebonita's line of vision as her voice creaks through thin lips, "you should probably wait to do that when the suns up. it's a lot less suspicious. I mean, thank you for helping out, but we're not allowed to let you stay here after dusk—"

"i'll just leave now, then?" Ebonita murmurs. her heart pounds beneath her crossed arms clutching the fanny pack. she straightens her limbs and leans forward. quickly, she claws the mounds of trash in-front of her toes and flings it back inside her pack.

"are you hurt?" the patrol man says, in a much gentler tone than before. he hands Ebonita a folded green straw that dropped in her rushing movements. "had assumed you were a drowning victim, your head was underwater for a while..."

a cough bubbled in her lungs, but Ebonita held her breath. she squeezes the bent straw on top of a crumpled receipt. with a click, she shuts the brass button on her fanny pack. swallowing the thought away, she buckled the burgundy pack between her breasts, "nah. i know how to swim, especially in shallow water."

"do you need a ride home, mam?", the patrol woman offered, creasing the blonde eyebrows above her silver pupils. the squareness of her jaw made Ebonita uncomfortable.

"uhm, no thanks. i live just a few minutes away. i'll be fine," Ebonita nods with a tired grin.

starting a walk toward her sand mound, the patrol officers follow a few steps behind. the branch she dug in the sand to mark her belongings had been thrown a couple feet away from the now sunken hole. her orange and red Teva sandals lay on either side. falling to her rear, she slaps both shoes together repeatedly. the way the loose sand sprinkles the ground beside her reminds Ebonita of flouring kitchen counters to knead buttery pie dough. she could almost smell the sweetness of the mixture she'd craft with her grandma every Thanksgiving afternoon. they had always made a new pie filling recipe to bake inside the flaky layers each year.

the air had started to smell like crispy caramel. a lonely staircase fuzzes at Ebonita's first time ever trying her grandmothers recipe. she's at the age of 7 and she had been racing behind her much faster older brother, Water. they had just finished racing the entire neighborhood gravel until the sun turned low.

'Granma, Granma! Water won againugh!', Ebonita groaned in jealousy as she plopped her elbows on her grandmother's glass table. she watched through the kitchen window as Granma retracted the Holy Grail Bass of a Pie.

'why're you saying that like it isn't an accomplishment?', Water rolled his dark black pupils. he had his feet crossed on the table and arms relaxing in a grasp behind his neck.

Granma's hips did a dancing wiggle as she sprinkled beautiful sparkles of sugar on the melting pie, 'oh, hush it Ebonita. congratulations Water, that truly is something marvelous. you are so impressive, like this pie we about to eat.'  Granma's eyes twinkled as she swiped her palms over the kitchen sink.

Ebonita and Water sniffed the air and danced in excitement. Granma salsa'd her way toward the glass table with a red polka dot oven mitt. her matching apron had been speckled with flour and batter. their was even some on the under of her chin. Ebonita decided not to say anything about it because she felt it represented Granma's hard work.

"Pie's ready!" Granma called toward the stairs.

a pattering of footsteps started upstairs. Ebonita's older siblings Burnette, Gustoso and Grañito came running down the carpeted stairs. Burnette eagerly ran straight to kitchen drawer and flung it open. holding five spoons, she walked around the glass table to place one on each placemat. Burnette's nails were painted ruby apple in honor of Ebonita's first pie.

Gustoso pulled out each chair behind Burnette as she placed the silverware. Grañito grabbed a pack of six nearly frozen Yoo-hoo's out of the beige freezer along with a gallon of vanilla bean ice cream. he made a double bang beat with each glass container, to start off the Holy Grail Bass of a Pie.

they each took a seat as Gustoso rapped the entire Holy Grail song by Justin Timberlake featuring Jay-Z. Gustoso made a beat with the wood of the knife and bottom of the deep rice pot as he cut six even slices. Granma didn't have much money, so she used the silver and black speckled rice pot for nearly every dish. Ebonita admired her for this. Water told her as they were racing outside how large the slice would be.

"you'd steal the food right out of my mouth, and i'd watch you eat it," Gustoso raised a thick eyebrow as he placed a slice on the stack of plates. he continued through the verse with an angelic voice until we each had a slice. Grañito beatboxed as he dolloped a scoop of ice cream on each plate.

stacks of thinly sliced fuji apples steamed between a dark, golden crust. saliva rained at the roof of her mouth as Ebonita scooped a spoonful. the flakes unfolded on Ebonita's tongue as she bit into her spoon. the syrupy coated apples melted like cotton candy as she chewed the most amazing creation her tastebuds ever graced.

"you bury anything else?" the patrol man's sudden question causes Ebonita to jolt.

Ebonita's upper lip curls in disgust. she could sense the crude nature of his curiosity and wanted to dismiss it immediately. snapping her neck toward his voice, "just my board and the dress i came here in."

the left wheel of Ebonita's black and white checkered skateboard was jutting out of the hole. gripping the red truck, she yanked it out. she tugged her long black slitted beach gown from under the sand mound in front of her. uncomfortably curtaining her body, the texture hugged Ebonita in an incredibly itchy way. she didn't even want to bother flagging the sand out to speed the process of leaving. the beach patrol's ignorance is finally shielded. she wanted nothing more but to be at Granma's glass table at that very moment. singing and laughing while eating good ass food.

an anchor dropped in Ebonita's throat. she shakes in confusion and worry from her increasing anxiety. whenever she'd have an attack, her Granma taught her to dance through them. as a previous performer, Granma made an exceptional tutor. the two of them would come to this same shore to practice on the sand.

ever since her grandmother passed away, it's been nearly impossible for Ebonita to dance. the pain rips at her veins not hearing Granma count her steps as she followed along.

'¡Asi!  Perfecto,  Eboni. Eso es. You  keep dancing like that, the crowds will only pile up,' Granma's motivating words sting in the back of her mind.

she waits patiently as the female patrol officer rummaged through the sand pile as if Ebonita was hiding a murder or some crazy bomb. understanding their roles as officers, she gulped down the bottled hatred. their flashlights bobbed through the grains before her.

hell, if anything, Ebonita is too cautious. she forces her sister, Burnette, to stop and put her hazards on anytime they ride in the Ghariot (their Granma's 1976 faded green VW microbus) whenever there's an animal crossing the street. roadkill is my biggest pet peeve, that shit is fucking maddening.

after the beach patrol's decided they didn't want to dig to china, they stood parallel to the hole.

"sorry to disrupt your dance," the female patrol officer cleared her throat. she wiped the sand off her gloves. putting an index and thumb on her pear shaped body, she said, "we're going to let you off with a warning for trespassing. please try and respect this beach curfew next time sweetheart. it's not safe."

whenever someone speaks to Ebonita for more than two sentences, she tones out. her brothers get extremely annoyed by this, but her attention span is very minimal. a cool breeze calmed the sweat misting her exhausted muscles.

"thanks," Ebonita flicked her tongue.

she ran as fast as her legs could carry her toward the entrance dock. seven stairs escalated from the sand. Ebonita hopped skipping one step each to make it four. she slapped the large nail file on the right handrail. running alongside, she let two wheels rattle on the penny wood. steadying to a light jog, she gazed at the numerous tree branches. thankful to have not gotten in trouble, her nervous tremors slowed to a stop. reaching the end of the dock, she let her board roll off the hand rail with a tough swipe. landing on the smooth concrete, she pressed her right foot near the nose and kicked with her left heel.

reaching the rinse shower, Ebonita jumps off her peeling grip tape. she unclasps her fanny pack from her chest. placing the board on a white bench, she slides the back below it.

Ebonita lifts her elbows to grab the shoulders of her thrifted gown. she pulls the dress above her ears, shutting her eyes tight. roughly, she flung it up and down until their was hardly no broken earth clung to its sewing. folding the outfit beneath her board, she steps toward the shower head.

gazing up at the winking stars, she jammed her thumb on the silver button. the water spouted twice before a pressurized flow began. cupping beneath her chin, she let both her palms create a smoother waterfall. allowing the cold liquid to wash away the annoying coat of beach crumbles. dunking her face inside her fingers, she scrubbed her cheeks down to her neck. twisting her hourglass figure, she lifted her hair and placed a flat hand on her skull. moving the blades in her back, she let the pressure massage her. gently pulling the hem of her bottom bathing suit, water drains the sand that piled between her thick cheeks. shaking her thighs, she slaps the hem back on her skin and rubbed down to the backs of her calfs. Ebonita straightens her stance to balance on the shower pipe as she lifted each heel and watched the sand from her sandals whirlpool down the chute. pivoting to face the water stream again, she shimmied her collarbone. cupping each breast beneath her bikini top, she scooped out the granulated mud. her nipples hardened from the low temperature. raising a knee at a time, she used the tips of her fingers to remove any remaining access. the water shut off. an incredibly refreshing feeling poured into Ebonita's entire anatomy.

watching the sidewalk, she inches toward to the bench again to dry herself with the skirt of her dress. dragging the cloth between her legs, at her shins and over her shoulders. unfolding the joints of her elbows through the length, she reached her wrists through the arm holes. the bottom of her dress creased at her wide hips. she pulled the fabric on either side of her slit to form a knot at her knees.

Ebonita observed the distance horizon and moon for a few seconds. tiny waves splashed on the black water. picking up her board, she started a pace toward her home. pushing the skateboard on the gravel, she kicked a speed quick enough to blow her hair. passing the parking lot, she bent her knees and pushed her toes forward to swerve her onto the much flatter street.

doo-ka-doo, doo-ka-doo was the only sound on the vacant road. the stoplights zoomed above her as she rolled past shopping plaza's and hella gift shops. the blinking shop signs lit the dark night. Ebonita hit the heel of her left Teva on the black asphalt to quicken her roll.

Ebonita had to work at a pool bar in the afternoon the next day, so she needed to be quiet once she neared her neighborhood. turning off the main road, she shifted onto the lengthy entryway.

placing her foot on the rear of the board, she stepped down to brake. her right foot began a silent saunter as her left fist held her board by its top truck.she passes two mailboxes before turning into a dead end.

her house was in the middle of the looped drive. the exterior was painted a bright yellow with orange shackles. her mother wanted it to look like a sun. two stories, eight windows and one red door. the curtains are blue to resemble the most blazing heat of the solar flare. the Ghariot and Ebonita's mothers white Accord parked in the driveway.

a faded brown fence shielded her Granma's fruit and vegetable garden that still thrived in their backyard. Ebonita and her siblings have added flowers and some gnomes to brighten up the depressing absence.

unhooking the latch of the door through a hidden crack of wood, she slowly opened a small crevice. holding her breath, she squeezed inside being ever so careful as to not make noise. stepping inside her property, she looked up at her mothers window. the lights were off. crickets chirped as Ebonita placed both palms to close the slither. she places the hook back in its hole.

tip toeing, she placed her board upside down by the wooden toolshed. her hushed steps creep upon the stone pathway toward her sliding door. the kitchen lights were off as well. tucking her fingers inside the handle, she patiently pulled the glass with her forearm.

once inside, Ebonita locked the door twice. noiseless, she acts in slow motion. she nears her room shared with her sister upstairs. not touching the handlebar, the slowness of her toes carries her up a level.

[i-rove-rock-n-roll]

Perdix (alternative title related to moi: I’M BACK babyyyy)

(or is it babies? babiez? idk) 

Anyway, long time, no writing. I’ve been flooded with homework (end of term+ classes full of essays) and graced with a broken computer, so finally I got a new laptop to actually post stuff again.

This is dedicated to the one of a kind @couchwriting *airhorn noises* who has the patience of ten thousand saints for putting up with the suuuuuper long wait (it’s been what, a millennium since I got this request And I just now got around to it?? I feel like I owe u a lot more than this.. and I hope you enjoy cause of how long its been coming...) 

ANyway, (I certainly say anyway a lot don’t I?) this bit may or may not actually find its way into my novel (though it’ll be revamped and expanded and stuff). and idk where yet, but its definitely a part of the backstory for my dudes Icarus and Daedalus in my wip. 

Thus far I’ve done Icarus, Dionysus/Bacchus, Hades and Persephone, and Helen (of sparta/troy), Atalanta  and Morrigan

Under the cut cause this is borderline an entire chapter right here. Will also post interested peeps and other writing links at the end. :D Enjoyyyyy (this reaaaaally long post, though I feel it could be longer and definitely better, I didn’t want to keep you waiting..Plz forgive the rushed bits, cause there probably are some...)

“Take Perdix,” his mother had said wearily, pushing stray hair away from her face. “He’s too smart to stay with me Daedalus. He needs a teacher.”

“I—" His uncle stammered, unsure.

“He can’t be a farmer.” Mother shook her head. “He just—he has to be something. He deserves to be something.”

         “Peigi, I just started taking care of my own child, I don’t know how to take care of another.”

“You’re a genius, Daedalus. You’ll think of something.”

Perdix stared at the baby, who blew a raspberry back at him, giggling.

“I see you’re having fun.” Daedalus said, dropping an armful of tools onto the table.

“Da!” The baby grinned, lifting his arms. “Up! Up!” Daedalus scooped him up, bouncing him on his hip.

“Do you like playing with your cousin, Icarus?” Icarus responding by shoving his chubby fist in his mouth and drooling.

“What do you have?”

“Uh—"

“Ma?” Icarus chirped, interrupting.

“No, no Ma. Ma’s not here.” Daedalus pulled his hand away from his mouth. “Continue, Perdix.” Perdix rubbed his arm nervously.

“I separated the metal into prongs and adhered them—"

Icarus tugged on Daedalus’ hair. “What, Icarus?”

         “Da-ma?”

         “No Da-ma.” He placed Icarus on the ground, giving him a soft pat. Icarus toddled for a moment, then fell. Perdix continued his explanation, tugging Daedalus over to the workstation to show what precisely he had accomplished.

         “This is a good start.” Perdix beamed at Daedalus’ words. “But it needs some adjustments.” His uncle pulled his hair back, then pointed. “Do you see your flaw with how you melted—”

“Da-Ma?”

CRASH!

         Daedalus whirled around. The baby was surrounded by the various tools he had knocked over, all heavy or sharp, and by some miracle, all had missed hitting him.

“Icarus!”

         Icarus gave a small sniff. Then he began to cry.

“Daedalus,” Perdix hesitated. “What does Dama mean?”

“It’s his way of saying Da and Ma. Da-Ma.” Daedalus blew out a breath. He scooped Icarus up, who squirmed to get away, his face scrunched up as he continued to wail. “I shouldn’t have brought him in here. He—I—”

“He’s chewing on his foot.” Perdix told him. Daedalus swore.

“I’m not cut out to be a father.”

         Perdix hesitated. “You’re better than mine. At least you’re trying.”  He said with some small note of bitterness. “I’m sure Mother thought the same when Father left. He just—He never came back and yet she managed to raise me, somehow.”

         “Naucrate’s not gone, she—” Daedalus stopped. “It doesn’t matter.” He stood. “Let’s clean up this mess and grab some lunch. Our next project will be for Icarus.”

         “Making him a toy?”

They finished building in the late afternoon. Made of a wood, the box-like structure stood at about three feet and was placed out of the way of any falling tools or shrapnel. Perdix wiped his brow as Daedalus set Icarus inside. At first, Perdix thought his little cousin was going to cry again, but once he realized he could still see Daedalus through the bars, he settled down. Daedalus placed a small, roughly stitched stuffed toy next to him, and Icarus began to suck on the soft fabric.

         “Now maybe we can get some work done.” A loud rapping sound came from the door. Standing within the frame was a large man, wringing his equally large hands together.

         “I—I heard about you from Alexios, the baker. He had nothing but nice things to say about you, Daedalus, and ah—”

         “You’d like me to fix something for you?” Daedalus asked, amused when a red flush crept across the man’s face.

         “Yes, my tools, they’re at my station…” The man trailed off. Daedalus smiled.

         “So long as you don’t mind babysitting for a while, Perdix and I will fix everything. It’ll; be better than new.”

         “Babysitting?” The man blinked owlishly. But neither inventor nor apprentice heard him, Perdix rushing to gather anything they might need before sprinting out the door after his uncle’s longer strides.

         The cobbler stared at the baby, who stared back, his dark eyebrows drawn together. Then Icarus began to cry.

         “Oh, no, no, no, baby, don’t cry!” The man picked him up, swaddling the screaming with his large arms. “You just want someone to hold you, don’t you?”

         “Hold this.” Daedalus said to Perdix, who took the tool awkwardly. “What is it?”

         “Er—A burnishing tool?” Perdix’ brow furrowed. “Why is it half melted?”

         “My guess is that he left it too close to the flames while doing something else. Now how do we fix it?”

“We can’t. It’d be too fragile if we tried to re—what about bone?”

   “What?” Daedalus asked, baffled.

   “Bone.” Perdix repeated, feeling more confident. “We used to use it on the farm when we worked with leather. Does a better job than metal doesn’t melt, and—”

    “Perdix.” Perdix stopped. “That’s a great idea.”

   The cobbler was sitting in front of the playpen when the two returned to the workshop. He glanced up, surprised, as they stared.

   “What are you doing?”

   “Making faces.” The cobbler responded. The staring continued.

   “What is he doing?” Daedalus pointed at the playpen.

   “Chewing on the bars. I don’t think he likes being confined.”

   “Is that safe?” Daedalus asked, alarmed.

   The cobbler shrugged. “He’s teething.” He stood and stretched, sighing as his back gave a couple audible pops. “He was no problem though. I miss when my youngest was that age.” He patted Daedalus’ shoulder. “I’m incredibly grateful to you and your oldest though for helping me on such last minute notice.”

“Perdix isn’t my son.” Daedalus swallowed tightly. “He’s my—my apprentice.” He placed a hand on Perdix’s shoulder. Perdix beamed at him, though his chest, previously swelling with pride, began to ache.

The cobbler gave Perdix the same farewell as Daedalus, a bonecruhing hug, before disappearing. Perdix unthinking, picked Icarus up, bouncing him absently as his cousin’s large, dark eyes stared at him.

Word spread quickly of the inventor and his apprentice over the following months. People would drop by, craning their necks to catch a glimpse of their creations. One invention, in particular, caught the eye some nobles.

A saw.

“What is this?” One of the nobles asked, amusedly prodding at the strange, jagged shape. The others snickered as he recoiled, yanking his fingers back and placing them in his mouth.

“That,” Perdix said. “Is a saw. Sharpened to cut through anything. It’ll do wonders for lumber workers.”

The man’s eyes sharpened at Perdix’s casual smile. “What do you want for it?”

Perdix thought of what Daedalus might say if he was there, how disapproving he’d be of these men as customers. Their disdain for the working class, the shine in their eyes as they bartered. Then he thought of his mother, and how little money she had to support the farm. She’d written to him just the week before, telling him she had to let go of their farm hand. After fifteen years of service and the current drought, his mother only thought of the effect on the farmhand and his family. She didn’t seem to care that she was starving.

But Perdix did.

Perdix leaned forward, his previously serene smile morphing into that of a shark’s.

   Daedalus returned to the small house where he, Perdix, and Icarus were staying. He cooed at the baby, who grabbed at his father’s nose.

   “Did you enjoy your bath, Icarus.” He tossed the giggling Icarus in the air lightly, catching him, then peppered his face with kisses.

   When they entered the room Perdix was sitting at the table in a daze.

   “Perdix?” Daedalus was getting concerned as Pedix failed to respond. Icarus poked Perdix in the cheek. He didn’t even flinch. “Perdix? Are you alright?” His body snapped into motion, standing.

   “I’m fine.” Perdix said, carding a hand through his hair. “Can I—Can I talk to you outside?”

   The sea brushed against the cliffside, pushing and pulling a cool wind alongside it, buffering their hair. Daedalus simply waited, watching for his nephew to speak.

Then Perdix burst, unable to hold it in any longer.

“I got a job!”

“You—you got a job?” Every feature of his uncle fell slack in shock, looking as though he’d faint. “But what about your apprenticeship?”

“Don’t need it anymore.” Perdix shrugged, swinging his legs as he plopped down at the edge of the cliff. “I can make my own name now. I need—” Perdix stopped himself. “I can’t work for you for forever, uncle.”

Daedalus was quiet for a moment, then blew out a long sigh. “Do you think you’re ready?”

“They—Aegeus wants me to report to the palace court tomorrow morning.”

“As in—” Daedalus choked. “As in the king, Aegeus?”

Perdix’ head bobbed rapidly, a surge of excitement running through his veins at the thought. “Just think, a job working for the king at my age!”

Daedalus swallowed, his expression tightening. “What does he want you to do?” Perdix watched as a bird dove towards the water, droplets of water dripping from feathers and talons as it continued to maneuver. Just watching was starting to give him ideas…

“He wants me to start work on some new weapons.” Perdix rolled his shoulders absently. “Work on outfitting his army.” He missed the flash of horror spreading across his uncle’s face, his roaming fingers intent on finding a stray pebble to throw into the water.

“You don’t know how to make weapons! You—you’ll kill someone, sending soldiers out without proper equipment!” Perdix stood, disappointment etched into his features.

“Are you jealous, Daedalus? I thought you’d be happy for me.” He had to pack.  

“Perdix! Perdix wait—”

   Daedalus didn’t see Perdix for months. He heard the whispers of the young genius inhabiting the palace, the splendor of things he had made in demand by every citizen of Athens. At first the loss of business was slow, people trickling into the palace and away from Daedalus’ small workroom. Then came the time when people stopped coming in altogether.

   One of the few faithful customers that remained was the cobbler, who came knocking every few days to watch Icarus while the inventor was busy trying to make something—anything to sell.

   Peigi has sent him a message about a month ago, asking for him to come visit.

   “Icarus will be in good hands, Daedalus.” The cobbler said, waiting for Icarus, now almost a toddler, to return to a normal volume and skin color after an hour of screaming.

   Daedalus’ head throbbed, and he knew it wouldn’t end anytime soon, his nerves frayed.

   It took a little over a day before he arrived at Peigi’s farm.

   She had aged, strands of her hair now a dull gray, her eyes and cheeks lined with worry and tears.

   Her chair scraped backwards as she stood, embracing him tightly. He could feel her frailty beneath her chiton, and he hugged her bac, afraid he’d break her if he squeezed too hard.

   “Perdix told me of your argument months ago.” She handed him a cup, more water than wine. He thanked her and took a sip, hoping for the knots in his stomach to disappear. Or at least for her accusations to start and end quickly. “He always saw you as a father figure, not just an inspiration.” Daedalus went to speak but his sister stopped him. “I don’t care what happened.” Peigi said, sitting down with her own wine. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

   “What do you mean?”

   “He was sending me money months ago when the drought began. We—I couldn’t keep the farm going, and—” Peigi broke down, her cheeks streaming.

   “Why didn’t you tell me?” Daedalus asked gently, wiping her tears away.

“I thought—the farm was doing better at first, but then—” She broke off. “I wasn’t going to put your family in trouble. I know you were saving—”

   “For Naucrate.” Daedalus tried not to think of her, and tried to focus as Peigi, his strong, rock of a sister, began to crumble. “You need me right now, Peigi. Naucrate would understand. Let me help.” Daedalus couldn’t bring himself to be mad.

That was until Peigi continued.

“Perdix hasn’t sent me anything for weeks now. I don’t care about the money now, but—we always talk—” Peigi began to babble uncontrollably. To stop her from crying again, Daedalus kissed her each of her cheeks in turn.

   “I will take care of you, Peigi.”

   Perdix sat in his room, watching as his latest clients were sent running. Instead, a small group of nobles entered the room, having pushed past the throng and threatened the peasantry with force.

His original buyers.

   “Do you have anything for us?” Perdix rolled his eyes. They only wanted to show off their wealth, and have the latest one of a kind object before the masses did. Just as they wanted his saw, they wanted the next object once the novelty wore off. They cycle never stopped.

   “Not yet,” Perdix stretched, letting his limbs settle loosely in his chair. “I just finished the weapons shipment for the army, but now Aegeus wants me to tend to the army in person.” He frowned. “Minos is stirring up trouble apparently.”

One of the nobles rolled their eyes with a snort. The others simply made themselves comfortable, pouring themselves some wine and swiping his untouched lunch.  

   “The king of that tiny island? Please, what can he do?”

   “You’d be surprised.” One of his companions chimed in. “He’s got a decent navy, though his men can’t compare to Athens’ army. Not when our man Perdix is supplying, right?” He smiled at Perdix, who smiled back.

   “Right…”

   At least he hoped it was a smile.

   Perdix spent the night going over his designs, over the old armor and his planned modifications. He was still wide awake when the king sent him to be shipped out, to fit the men with their new gear.

   The first few days sped by, and Perdix was as thrilled as he was exhausted. He joked with the men, who clapped each other on the back and admired their new armor. They examined their swords by the firelight, almost excited to go to war, some for the first time in their lives.

   It felt like a blow to the chest when they lost.

   Perdix sat on the clifftop, his back to the temple of Athena. Praying had done nothing, had given him no ideas or closure. He bought and sacrificed the best animals he could find, but still, nothing helped.

   The wind blew as dusk approached, stinging his eyes. Perdix didn’t even turn as Daedalus sat next to him, as silent and watchful as ever. It reminded him of Icarus, and the lump in Perdix throat grew.

    “Athens army is not doing very well, uncle.

“Why? Daedalus’ voice was bitter. “They have your weapons do they not?”

“Yes but—” Perdix stopped. “At first I thought it was just the older men, the veterans being tetchy about their new gear. Angry at change, you know?” He swallowed. “Then—then when battle came—It was like we couldn’t fight back.

“Then fix it.”

“I can’t.” Perdix’s eyes burned with tears, his head filled with images of the men he had grown to call friends strewn across the ground— “I need your help, uncle.” He whispered. “Please?”

Daedalus sighed. “Very well.”

Perdix watched his uncle, whirling about like hurricane, melting and scrapping and molding, fitting each man in turn, not letting them go until they, and he, was happy with the result.

It took only four days for him to finish what had taken Perdix weeks.

The next battle came and Athens won.

Perdix took to fetching supplies and helping the medical tent, unable to look Daedalus in the eye. He told a small group of men, previously his assistants, to attend to his uncle and help in any way they could.

As they won the next battle down the coast, and the following managing to drive then Minoans from the city, Perdix gathered his courage, and returned to his tent to apologize.

He entered to find the assistants in a panic and Daedalus on the floor and covered in blood. A heavy container pinned his leg, twisting it as Daedalus, gasping and sweaty, barely conscious, tried feebly to free himself.

Perdix waited in the medical tent, wringing his hands, waiting for news. The healer, with a wan expression, approached. Perdix tried not to look down as the man wiped his hands, still covered in Daedalus’ blood.

“Is he—Is he going to be okay?”

“If you’re asking if he will live, the answer is yes.” The healer scrubbed at his eyes, sighing. “But his leg is damaged. You can’t see it now, but a few years ago, I treated Daedalus for a battle injury during his time as a soldier. It left a deep scar, and somehow, despite our belief, he bounced back, walking almost perfectly after a few months of bed rest and practice.”

“And now?”

“I don’t know.” Said the healer. “Miracles don’t often happen twice. It’s likely that he won’t regain mobility in that leg ever again.”

Perdix left the field early the next day. He had to prepare a place for Daedalu to stay, and as the inventor staunchly refused to stay in the palace (in between murmurs about Naucrate), the only place left was Daedalus’ small house.  

Perdix arrives, arms full of bedding he had gathered from his rooms in the palace. He was greeted by Icarus, now about the age of four, who stared at him distrustfully, eyes devoid of recognition. Perdix didn’t want to admit how much his heart hurt when he opened his arms for a hug and his cousin ran, hiding. Arms falling, Perdix sighed, and began to prepare the house for Daedalus’ arrival.

The cobbler, Perdix was surprised to find, had offered Daedalus a place in his home, but there was little more room there than the other house. He and his wife at least promised to help with cooking, so that was one less burden.

    The only thing left to do was clean the workshop.

    The small space was crammed with half completed ideas, frustrated bits of metal thrown this way and that. Any sketches to be found were ash, burned by Daedalus as the ideas refused to cooperate. As Perdix worked to open the room up with air, he knew he missed this. He missed his uncle, the maniac genius. He missed ideas for inventions spinning in their heads as they stayed awake through the night. He missed playing with Icarus, chasing his little cousin through the market as he learned how to walk first, then run. Perdix missed his mother. He hadn’t sent a message to her in months, too busy and too scattered with the king’s demands to remember. He promised himself, once Daedalus could walk again, that he would go see her, and bring her the finest objects he had ever made, just for her.

Daedalus wasn’t healing. Not as fast as Perdix had hoped. His uncle refused to speak, refused to meet his eyes, refused to eat.

Refused to do anything.

Perdix stared at Athena’s temple, then turned towards the sea. Sitting by the cliffside, he hugged his knees, exhausted from trying to keep everything together. He could barely hold himself together. He buried his face, sniffling as the sky darkened.

How did everything go so wrong?

Perdix heard a grunt behind him and turned. Daedalus, straining his one good leg to move, fell to the ground. Perdix tried to help him up but Daedalus slapped his hands away leaving the inventor, breathing heavily, to struggle to his knees.

“I’m sorry, Daedalus.” Perdix bit back a flinch as Daedalus glared through the hair in his eyes.

“Sorry doesn’t fix my leg.”

    “If the assistants—”

“That’s just the thing, Perdix.” Daedalus interrupted, heaving himself into a sitting position. “They were assistants. What happens when an assistant doesn’t do their job properly?”

“They get hurt.” Perdix was confused at the sudden question. “But why—?”

“Does this matter?” Daedalus gave a bark of humorless laughter. “Well, nephew mine, you were my apprentice, my assistant. You killed those soldiers and my leg damaged beyond repair.”

“But I—"

“You didn’t mean to?” Daedalus voice was deceptively soft. “Oh, Perdix, how many times can you cry?”

         “Daedalus—”

         “Over and over you cry for me to help you, to fix your mistakes. You cry for attention, for respect you have not earned—”

“Daedalus be reasonable.” Perdix had to hold himself back from touching his uncle, from comforting him. “You are not well, you—you have a fever—”

“Your mother wanted the best for you. She wanted you to make her proud.” Daedalus’ voice was cold now, uncaring of the steady, hot tears streaming down Perdix’s face. Perdix almost wished he would scream or shout, anything to stop the awful feeling swelling in his chest. “She died not long before you sent those men to their deaths. She died before you could bring her shame.”

Perdix’s could have swore he felt his heart stop.

His mother—the world spun, even as he dug his fingers into the earth, hoping for solidity.

He couldn’t remember the last words he said to her.

Daedalus’ face swam in and out of view, as pale as the moon glittering across the sea.

    “You may be my sister’s son, but you are not mine.”

    Perdix broke. He could feel nothing, inside or out, until Daedalus’ cold hands reached for his throat.

“Uncle,” Perdix rasped, a last effort to live, to find something. “Please—”

    His uncle, his idol, his father, with each muscle straining, pushed Perdix, limp, off the cliff.

    Perdix could see no bottom, could see nothing but the darkness and the moon. He didn’t know when he would hit the sea, or if he would be alive to feel the waves hit him back. Eyes clenched shut, he waited.

He never touched the water. Any screams he may have had died in his throat, replaced with constricted shrieks. His arms, helpless against the wind as he fell, began to lift him as each hair on his arm elongated into broad, brown feathers.

    Gliding across the sea, he made his way to the beach.

    And Perdix, now the Partridge, blinked up at the temple, high up on the cliffside. He did not see how the eyes of Athena within, as cold as the marble she was carved from, glinted in the dark.

    Daedalus lay at the cliffside for a long while, his body shaking with pain. It took him a while, slipping through the grass, to brace himself enough to crawl back home. The sky had just started to lighten when he made it back to the house, leaning against the doorframe as he tried to catch his breath.

Once he managed to get inside he found Icarus, awake and waiting. Trembling, crusted with dirt, Daedalus pulled the child into a hug.  

“What’s wrong?

Icarus’ eyes burned into him, so very bright and questioning. Just as Perdix’s had been.

Daedalus cried.

Alrighty! I do hope you all enjoyed this, and as always, if You’d like to request a retelling written and dedicated to you, send me a message. A word, an emoji, an idea, is all I need! 

Peeps that have shown interest in the past in being tagged (lemme know if you wanna be added/removed! Or if I forgot to add someone, cause that could happen...)

@ahotpeaceofshit @the-real-rg @luckydragonnerd @ashesconstellation @couchwriting @ashes-of-chironides @tokyoghoulua @writingmyselfintoanearlygrave @lmorasey @rmorada @xanthus-the-headless-stand-user @splotch-of-spice @cometworks @thecadmiuminkwell @mkaiww @pheita @demonfairyprincess @tatodapato @talesofhemlock @aquaroseas 

I think I remembered everybody? I actually haven’t been on tumblr for like an actual month (I queued stuff a while ago cause I actually figured out how the queue worked)

[all-hail-the-witcher]

questionable government spies: chapter 8

all previous chapters are under # spy boys

alright so I’m going against all of my rules literally ever posting this cause I only have like a chapter and a few sentences written after this one and I’m usually two ahead but like school and y’all need comic relief in the form of race being a freaking idiot 

also this is a link you might wanna play when you get to /the part/

https://youtu.be/F16O5OAK2K8

___________

ship: platonic ralbert, eventual sprace 

warnings: Race is a little shit

word count: not very long

editing: I’m actually not sure ignoring I finished editing this one

___________

Race threw off his covers and bolted into the shower. Two weeks had passed since the day they had met with Spot. He had gotten a call very late the previous night saying that he was going to be going through gang initiation today - whatever that meant - and he was supposed to report to a coffee shop in Brooklyn at 8 am sharp.

Race didn’t really know why he was being sent to a coffee shop, or why he had to be out through initiation, but if it gave him a chance to flex in front of Spot he wasn’t complaining.

He dressed in a pair of black adidas track pants and a fitted black long sleeve shirt and fluffed his blonde hair before walking into the kitchen.

It was barely 7 and Albert was probably still asleep - he had managed to sleep the entire night in his own room last night without nightmares so Race had yet to see him - which meant Race couldn’t have coffee, because Albert made the best coffee ever and his tasted like dirt. So, Race did what any caffeine deprived person would: woke up Albert to make him coffee.

He paired his phone to the Bluetooth speaker and sifted through his Disney Spotify playlist until he found the song he was looking for. Then, while the intro played, he banged around rather loudly as he prepared his lucky charms.

The chorus of the song began and Race put down the cereal he had been puring to scream along, well, sort of.

“No one's nerd as Gaston! No one catches birds like Gaston! No one says WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD like Gaston!” Race screamed at the top of his lungs. This wasn’t how he usually woke Albert up, but hey, he was going to be a gang member today, he needed to get in the villain spirit - Race style.

“For there’s no man in town half as memelyyy! Perfect, a pure meme god! You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley. And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be onnnnnnnnnnnnnn…”

Race cranked up the music louder and grabbed his spoon to use as a microphone as he pranced around the kitchen dramatically. “Whoooooo’s aaaaas meme as Gaston? Who can scream like Gaston? Who can do Krispy Kreme flips like Gaston? As a memelord, yes, I'm intiiiiiiimidaaaating! My, what a boi, that Gaston!”

From Albert’s room, Race heard a loud groan and he smiled. He hoped Albert was appreciating this. True art such as this was only created once in a lifetime.

“I needed encouragement, thank you, LeFou. Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as yoooooooooou! Too much? ...Yuuup.”

Race paused dramatically before leaping into the livingroom to continue his performance.

“No one bakes like Gaston! Has a face like Gaston! In a vine comp no one says they were roommates like Gaston!”

“When I flirt I sneak up with wii music,” Race tip toed awkwardly into Albert’s room. “And all of my friends say a praaayer. First, I hope what I say is not too sick, then I flirt from behind- Is that fair? I don't care!”

Albert rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head as Race jumped up onto his bead and began to sing dramatically. “No one tickles like Gaston! Eats pickles like Gaston! No one says look at all those chickens like Gaston! I'm especially good at quoting lazzzzzzzytown!”

Albert let out another loud groan, which Race ignored, and pulled his blanket over his head. “TEN POINTS FOR GASTON!” Race yelled as he did a straddle jump off the the bed and ran back toward the kitchen.

“When I was a lad, I ate four despasitos every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown, I eat five despasitos,” Race climbed up onto the counter and tried to flex, “So I'm roughly the size of a goooooOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD!”

Race grabbed two pots off the counter and began slapping them together on the beat of the song. Then he jumped down off the counter and began parading around the apartment - first the living room, then the hallway and then into Alberts room, all the while banging his pots together and improv tap dancing. If Albert didn't wake up after this he was going to have to break out the airhorn.

Race danced back into the kitchen, executing perfect leaps and turns while still banging his pots. He heard a loud clunk, which sounded suspiciously like Albert falling off his bed, and he smiled before climbing back up on the counter to finish off his performance.

“Who has a bed like Gaston? Drinks mead like Gaston? Who can say roadworrrrrrrk ahead like Gastoooooooon? I use yeeting in my everyyyyyyyyyyyyday liiiiiife!” he paused, looking at the pots in his hands. “YEET!” he screamed, throwing them across the kitchen with a fantastic clatter.

“RACETRACK HIGGINS!” Ah, yes. That was Albert, definitely awake and definitely pissed that he was awake. Race could hear him stomping down the hall angrily but that didn't stop him.

“Say it again! Who's a meme among men? Who's the super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on! There's just one boi in town who's got all of it dowwwwwwwwwwwn…”

Albert arrived in the doorway wearing only a pair of sweatpants, his hair rumped from sleep and glaring fantastically at Race who was still standing on the counter. Race gave him a wink and a smirk to which Albert rolled his eyes before he began the final verse of his performance.

“And his name's R-A-C-EEEEEEEEEE.... I believe there's another EEEEEEEEE…… It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud beforeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… Gastoooooooooooooooon!” Race jumped down from the counter and bowed graciously as the song ended.

“Are you trying to start a cult?” Albert said in disbelief, his voice raspy from sleep.

Race looked up at his friend sheepishly. “No…?”

“Then why are you screaming Beauty and the Beast before 7am?” Albert groaned.

Race leaned against the counter, cocked his head, and put on his best pleading face. “Make me coffee?”

Albert muttered several curse words under his breath before moping into the kitchen. “Sure, fine, whatever.”

“Oh, thank you, Albie!” Race exclaimed, clapping his hands. “You’re my favorite person in the whole wide world!”

“Yeah well,” Alber muttered, reaching into the cabinet to pull out the bag of Hazelnut Coffee. “You’re not my favorite person today.”

“I’m not your favorite person any day, am I?” Race sniffled.

“That’s not true,” Albert sighed. “I just don’t like it when you wake me up by screaming incorrect Disney lyrics.”

“Mmmmm so any day that ends in y then,” Race mused and Albert threw a coffee filter at him.

“I don't have time for your bad jokes,” Albert stressed. “You have to be at initiation in like an hour. Let’s go over your cover one more time.”

“Fiiiiine,” Race groaned, hopping up on the counter.

“Alright so, what’s your name?”

“Philip Marx.”

Albert sighed and rolled his eyes. “Tell me why you picked that again?”

“Welllllll,” Race began, “Philip like Philip Carlyle form the Greatest Showman cause he’s a badass and goes from one lifestyle to a complete other, ya know, becomes an outcast and stuff? Isn’t that kinda what it’s like to be in a gang?”

“I don't know,” Albert said rather annoyed as he measured out the coffee grinds. “Also I doubt that people choose their gang names based on a movie about joining the circus.”

“It’s not about joining the circus Albert!” Race smacked his friend with a dishtowel. “It’s about love and loss and finding yourself and realizing who you really are and telling social norms to screw themself and Zack Efron’s just really hot, okay?”

“Alright, fine, whatever,” Albert sighed. Race was beginning to regret waking him up, he was acting far more grumpy than usual. “Do I even want to know why you picked that last name?”

“Because Karl Marx is a badass.”

Race laughed as Albert turned to him, sputtering incoherently. “Ra- wha- why- ugh.” He buried his face in his hands. “First of all, Karl Marx is dead. Second of all, he’s not a badass he invented communism and basically started the downfall of Russia and a crapload of other problems. Third of all-” Albert was interrupted by the timer going off signaling that Race’s coffee was done brewing.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Race smirked. “He’s problematic, like me. Also we both have really great hair.”

Albert wordlessly handed Race his cup of coffee. “Remind me why I thought it was a good idea for you to do this job again?”

Race pondered. He couldn't exactly say that it was because he didn't want Albert to get in harm’s way. “Because I’m a good agent and you love me?” He hopped off the counter to pour some coffee creamer in his coffee.

“Close enough,” Albert sighed. “Now hurry up and eat your cereal. I gotta get you to initiation.”

•••

Initiation, as it turned out, was a gruff looking man inside the coffee shop handing him a folded piece of paper with a strange code on it. Race solved the code quickly, it was a simple number scramble that said: down three blocks, back parking lot.

He walked out of the coffee shop, down the street three blocks, as per the instructions.

“Rapunzel, where are you going,” Albert asked through the comms unit in his ear.

“Down three blocks to some back parking lot,” Race responded.

“Alright, Vincent just pulled up a street camera. Looks like there’s a guy in his late 20s there and that's it.”

“Okay,” Race responded, a little disappointed that Spot wasn't there. “I’ll talk to you guys when I’m done.”

“Be safe, Rapunzel.”

•••

Two hours later, Race climbed into the back of Jack’s van, tired and very much in need of a shower.

“How was it?” Albert asked, turning around and laughing at Race’s flopped position on the floor of the van.

“Tiring,” Race sighed. “I had to break into a store and steal a cd without setting anything off.”

“An actual store?” Jack asked from the driver’s seat.

“Yes, an actual store,” Race said pulling himself up.

“Ah, yes,” Albert said, “my best friend, a petty thief.”

“I’ve been a petty thief my whole life, Albie, remember when we-”

“Ah ah ah” Albert cut him off, gesturing to Jack. “We have children present.”

Race laughed and rolled his eyes as Jack protested. “Anyway, the guy had me also do all this fancy parkour junk and self defense stuff. Haven’t worked that hard since training with Jacobs.”

Albert made a sympathetic face. FBI training camp had been the most strenuous thing either of them had ever done to date. “What was the guys name, again?”

“Oscar Delancey,” Race said, wrinkling his nose. “He was nasty. He kept pushing me unnecessarily hard. And he said something weird. He told me ‘oh, you’re him’ which didn't make any sense.”

“Yeah, that's kinda weird,” Albert agreed. “Maybe he expected you to be someone else.”

“Maybe,” Race brushed it off. “Anyway, I got my first mission tomorrow. Gotta report to the used car place at 9 am sharp.”

Albert and Jack let out a cheer. “That’s fantastic, Race!” Albert said, shooting him a smile. “Pretty soon we’re gonna crack this case right open.”

Race couldn't agree more.

___________

ah yes that song took me three days to write and it’s probablt the best thing I’ve ever written

did anyone catch the jace quote ?

also pay close attention to the greatest showman references....

also shits about to get real yo it’s going the hell down

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

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