danskjavlarna · 2 days
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Here are some rather interesting vintage mustaches.
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longing-for-rain · 8 months
You know what I think a lot of people don’t realize about grooming is that, the person will almost always start pushing your boundaries in little, non-sexual ways.
For example, one big thing a person who groomed me did was joke about killing and eating my dog. She knew I love my dogs like they’re my children, and I’d told her those “jokes” made me uncomfortable. But she kept doing it. The same joke over and over again; it wasn’t even funny (“I believe all god’s creatures have a place…next to the potatoes”). At first I pushed back, but then it got to a point where I got tired of resisting and treated like I was stiff and couldn’t take a joke. So I relented on that boundary.
That alone might seem insignificant and dumb, but with groomers, as soon as they break down one boundary they’ll immediately start trying to break down another. And each little one they break, the more they get you used to letting them violate you to the point where you’re afraid to speak up against the bigger things.
So especially if you’re a younger person on the internet, never ignore when someone is making you uncomfortable especially if they’re much older. Even if it seems like a silly, insignificant thing. They know what they’re doing, and it’s important to stay safe.
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manscaped · 2 years
The collab no one asked for
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one-time-i-dreamt · 8 months
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Someone uploaded the Colleen Ballinger on Album of the Year so people could rate it 0 out of a 100, making it the worst single of the year.
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butch-reidentified · 3 months
it's so cute how everyone acknowledges grooming as a real thing but as soon as we say (such as in conversations about female body hair removal) girls/women are groomed our entire lives to appeal to men, we're "misogynistic" for "calling women stupid"
Edit Jan 7, 2024:
My wife thinks I should have included an analogy in the original post (like the CEO example in my recent reblog), but in my conversation with her she pointed out that under the broad definition of grooming, all raising of children could be considered "grooming them for adult life." She makes a good point!!
The actual definition isn't inherently about sexual predation despite what the internet may have led some of you to assume. This is a good opportunity for me to remind *everyone* to fact check *everything* you learn online before repeating it to anyone and possibly spreading misinformation - including definitions of words you learn online! We ALL do this sometimes!
Screenshot below of #2 and #3 under the definition of "grooming" (#1 is obviously about animal fur lol):
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I do find it interesting that the broader definition (#2) inherently includes what is detailed in #3, yet #3 was explicitly added (I assume at a later date than #2, given the context and numerical order). It's redundant, and I do have some criticisms of the way it's worded/the specifics of it. I wonder how other dictionaries define it.
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she-is-ovarit · 4 months
The man several years older than you who calls you "more mature than your own age" is grooming you. The man who says you are "special" or "unique" is grooming you. The man who calls you an "old soul" is grooming you.
These are grooming phrases.
The man several years older than you who keeps circling back to "Gosh, I can't believe you're real! But are you sure you want this? I'm so much older than you!" when you're cuddling or making out is grooming you. He is asking you that question during intimate moments as a way to unconsciously manipulate you into denial and perhaps get you to reassure whatever guilt he has, if he has any. Asking this while showering you with affection is an attempt to bait and coerce you into saying yes. Whether done unconsciously or consciously, he is fulfilling an emotional need you have for love or protection while at the same time getting you to say out loud to yourself and to him that you want this in order to work your brain into ignoring any bad gut feeling or doubt you have, then or in the future.
That is grooming behavior.
I understand that you might not want this to be true, and that you feel pulled to him. I understand it might feel more parental or brotherly than it does sexual or romantic. But this is how grooming works in many, many cases. The attachment or relationship fulfills a psychological need or wound you had from a parent or a sibling. His behaviors might very well be fatherly or brotherly, and then over time those little interactions blur into something else that you can't quite make sense of but that you like.
That magnetic, psychological pull you feel is not a sign of healthy attachment or a healthy relationship. You can be groomed as a child, you can be groomed as a teen, you can be groomed as a 20 year old.
And, yes, this goes for lesbians, bisexuals, gay men too. I speak with heterosexual situations in mind because there is a depressing, astounding pattern of heterosexual men grooming women and girls younger than them. But I have encountered plenty of gay men and lesbians in horrible codependent relationships that they feel simultaneously both trapped in and glued to.
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Yes, they really did this.
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klaasfoto · 7 months
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Nozem and his mother.
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lilithism1848 · 6 months
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ice-dragon · 8 months
Colleen: *contorts and spreads an underage fan's legs on stage nearly exposing them, did stuff like that, brought up sex regularly with kids in a gc, demanded ass pics from Adam a 13 year old, poured out her marriage problems with kids, manipulated kids into defending her and hate on her ex, sent Adam a 13 year old lingerie, regularly hated on/made fun of her fans in a private gc, used Adam as a therapist on school nights when he was a kid sometimes until 4 am, manipulated Adam to meet her in person then blew him off, plotted to "take Adam down" with other kids and other youtubers, basically ruined Adam's life*
Also Colleen: I made a fart joke 5 years ago so everyone hates me.
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furiousgoldfish · 1 year
Abusive parents teach you to hide and be ashamed of your problems so heavily that by the time you get trauma symptoms, it doesn't even cross your mind that this is something serious that you should tell someone and ask for help with. All that crosses your mind is 'fuck, how do I hide this from everyone.'
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catgirl-catboy · 1 year
Antis talk about groomers a lot (as they should! Online grooming is a serious issue.)
But I rarely see young antis practicing internet safety that helps them avoid groomers. Internet security is my livelihood, so it really worries me.
Here are some tips to avoid groomers on the internet.
First off "Groomers DNI" or "Adults DNI" doesn't help. You are welcome to keep it in your DNI if you want, but the sort of people that respect that DNI are the sort of people that likely don't pose a threat to you anyway.
Never say your age. I'm serious. "Teenager" is as specific as you can get. "But then, how do you make friends your own age online?" you start talking to people, and you get an estimate about their age.
Never put your face online either. Not only can groomers and stalkers use it, your future boss might find it and link you back to this social media account.
Be vague about your location. If I know your timezone, and you tell me about the weather, I have a pretty good idea of where you live. Hell, actively lie about your timezone/location.
This is a helpful skill to learn, because some (not all, but enough that you need to be careful) of the people that have "15 y/o, above 18 DNI" are actually grown ass adults that will eventually coerce you into doing shit you aren't comfortable with.
If a place happens to be mostly teens, you are a-okay. If a place explicitly bans adults, run.
If someone is giving you a bad vibe for any reason, block them. "But give people the benefit of the doubt!" No. Not on the internet. I give a bad vibe? Prepare the block. Your intuition is a huge tool to keep you safe, don't doubt it.
Don't post pictures you took online. It isn't the content of the photo you should worry about, it's the data that comes with it. Most photos have locations attached.
Do mention parents/supportive adults in your life that care about you. If none exist, make some up. If it seems like you talk about your internet friends, you don't look like an easy target.
Say no to your internet friends on occasion. Watch their reactions. If someone begins to act controlling, thats a red flag.
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gamer2002 · 24 days
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Tax funded indoctrination before you learn to read and count? Can we call it grooming already?
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intriga-hounds · 2 months
sivi LOVES his baby but HATES when i point it out
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