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#guess the characters i'm referring to based on the descriptions
matcha-berry · 1 year
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me: eating fried chicken for dinner, staring off into space
My brain: but what if Zhongli from genshin or Malleus from twst as a fearsome dragon who has captured you as the royal heir and is guarding you in a tower, but it's that one meme where you're in cahoots with one another and Zhongli/Malleus is doing this to help you find a proper spouse out of the ones coming to rescue you, and then the whole fic is just. . . them monologuing about how that redhead isn't right, they seem too stuck up, that white-haired one looks strong but seems to be a bit too much of a musclehead, ahh that bluehaired one? Seems like a family man, he'll consider it. . . what? That orangehaired one? No.
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diorsbrando · 12 days
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I’D DIE FOR YOU (AND I HAVE). ( s.a. )
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sousuke aizen & black!fem!reader.
cw ━━ ! minors, blank and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. reader is portrayed as a black woman but you do not have to imagine her that way. using this map of the seireitei as a reference (i searched high and low for a consistent accurate one but it was hard). the first half is set pre-ryoka invasion / pre-soul society arc. the second half is aizen-centric (from his pov told from the 3rd person) and set post-tybw arc, years after he was sealed away in mugen, also including mention of events from vol. 1 of can't fear your own world (a light novel that's post-tybw & can be considered canonical); so all this being said: SPOILERS i guess???? of course you're welcome to read if you don't care about spoilers! somewhat based on 'die for you' by the weeknd & even more loosely based on 'dark red' by steve lacy. contains themes of heavy-ish angst, existential crises (?) & inner emotional turmoil within reader + aizen (separately). descriptions of character death, blood and violence. descriptions of manipulation/mind games. aizen is an unkind man. proofread (i did my best).
word count ━━ 11k
notes ━━ ! the way this fic was supposed to finished a month ago...but life once more gets in my way. and the way that it's this long....i anticipated the max being 10k but i greatly underestimated how long it would take to flesh out my idea. anywho i'm somewhat reentering my bleach era again. i’m not sure what it is but character analyses in the form of fanfiction is my jam rn like i really enjoyed writing this (i got tired of the length by like... 7k words lmao) but i like how this turned out. i've watched & read quite a bit of content that provide explanations as to why aizen is the way he is so i wanted to try my own portrayal of that in the context of canonical events. how i characterized him here is partially inspired by a fic i read about him last year so shout out to them for their support :D i hope i've depicted and humanized aizen well ♡. reblogs + commentary are heavily appreciated!!!!!
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THE PAD OF YOUR THUMB SLOWLY glided against your bottom lip, the lingering aftertaste of jasmine tea still on its surface and on your breath. The absentminded motion of your thumb caressing your mouth, as if in deep contemplation, continued as you stared at the clock hanging on the wall above you.
It was past eleven, and the midnight hour only continued to draw near as time sustained its temporal march. And there you sat at your desk, floating in the limbo of your mind that was filled with hesitancy and admittedly, budding anticipation.
Your gaze lowered to the now empty porcelain cup, nothing remaining of its contents except the shriveled remnants of herbs and a few wayward drops of the brew.
Your senior comrade, captain Sōsuke Aizen, was correct in his prediction that you'd take a liking to its floral and delicate taste when he gifted you a jar full of the jasmine tea leaves as well as other ingredients.
The captain of Squad 5 seemed to be correct about a lot of things.
His intelligence and foresight, along with his kind and politely witty disposition, were qualities that you found somewhat charming, and gradually drew you closer to him.
Being the current third seat of the 9th company, your barracks and those of squad 5's were relatively close to each other's, so often you'd catch glimpses of and run into Captain Aizen on a pretty normal basis. Over the years, the conversations that bounced between the two of you expanded past the realm of formalities between a higher and lower ranking officer, and instead ranged in territories from literature, to art, to food & drink, and even to the politics of the government for which they were soldiers for.
Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that you managed to befriend a man like him. A man who seems to have mastered the balance between being a gentle soul, helpful to others, but also possessed enough refined power and skills to be named a captain within the Gotei 13.
Especially a man who wasn’t even of your own squad.
Despite the increasingly friendly relations and generally pleasant conversation, there were few moments where Aizen's words didn't feel quite. . . . real━ he didn't feel real. He spoke eloquently, often relying on figurative language to further illustrate his point and to breathe meaning into seemingly plain and meaningless words. But at times those words, his tone felt stained; stained with some substance or color you couldn't quite place. An enigmatic façade was painted over his speech, and it took too much mental capacity to try and find your own meaning in it.
So you'd often brush it off. Your over-reliance on your own reasoning that 'you weren’t able to come to a conclusion because there is no problem a conclusion could be generated from' successfully quieted your mind’s voice. You'd also frequently blame exhaustion, or your newfound hobby of watching human psychological crime shows during your off days for these subconscious ideas you had.
But you feared that the request Aizen made of you yesterday, the source of your current predicament, couldn't be blamed on any of those things. You looked at the clock again before returning to stare at your empty tea cup. For what reason could Sōsuke Aizen wish to meet you outside of the 1st division barracks? Specifically at this hour? You immediately thought of his question as uncharacteristic of him but prevented yourself from jumping to any further conclusions.
Aizen was a reasonable man, and you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.
With a final sigh of acquiescence, you stood up from your sitting position to retie your yukata before slipping a thicker, dark colored haori on top. You were unsure how cold it was this late at night or how long you'd be out, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
You paused for a moment, glancing longingly at your vanity mirror a few times, clearly torn between a decision, before giving in with a soft groan. Grabbing your favorite perfume, you quickly spritzed the spray onto both your inner wrists, either sides of your neck, and stray areas on your clothes. You’d proceed to make sure your hair was in order and your lips were as moisturized and glossy as a pair of tear-filled eyes before making your way to the door and slipping on your sandals.
Meeting with a captain— with Aizen of all people— in the dead of night resembled too closely to forbidden lovers rendezvousing under a fruit tree to fulfill their desires of embracing one another, with no one but the moon as their witness. The comparison alone caused the apples of your cheeks to burst aflame with embarrassment, and you lightly chastised yourself for even indulging in such an inappropriate train of thought. Such a scenario seemed far too deluded to even be considered ‘wishful thinking’.
But those delusions still seemed to make more sense than whatever other conclusion you have yet to reach.
Making your way out of your personal quarters, you activated your shunpo technique, stealthily hopping from one rooftop to the other in an effort to make it to Squad 1 barracks quicker.
After several minutes, your mind mostly engulfed with the 'what if's', the soles of your sandals finally touched ground, and you stood a few feet away from the massive walls and bridges that connected to and from the barracks. Even at night you were able to make out the bold-printed kanji for the number 1 that was painted on the building.
When you arrived, even from a nearby rooftop, you didn't see anyone around. Feelings of confusion and worry began to creep up and flicker to life in your mind.
But, as if your thoughts were as audible, you felt a light breeze of wind behind you, a familiar sound that indicated someone had made their presence known.
Startled, you reflexively reached for your zanpakuto, when you remembered that you hadn't even brought it with you. It still laid against the wall near your bed, just where you placed it earlier when you were relieved of your duties for the day.
You didn't think you needed it necessarily if you were just going to meet with Aizen, hence why taking it with you slipped your mind.
The flickers of concern were swiftly extinguished as your brain caught up with your body upon realizing who just appeared. A relieved sigh left your lips, a breath of air that seemed to release all the tension that had a grip on your heart and wound tight within your muscles. "Ah! Good evening Captain Aizen. You caught me off guard for a moment there."
"My apologies, that was not at all my intention." The Fifth Division Captain sported a dark colored scarf, his long captain's coat and the standard shihakushō all Gotei officers were supposed to wear. In the sash around his waist resided his own sheathed zanpakuto. His tawny hair maintained its usual part but looked slightly tousled, yet still remaining so in a meticulous fashion that made it look intentional.
The state of his hair alone, and his current facial expression made Aizen look more . . . approachable if that’s how you were to describe it. There was a glint in his eyes that you had seldom seen before.
"Thank you, for making your way down here to accommodate my rather. . . . atypical request. I again extend my apologies if I have inconvenienced you in any way."
You shook your head in reply, "It's alright, I wasn't doing anything too important anyway. Just having a cup of tea and delighting myself in a book before bed."
You glanced downwards at the foot or so of space that was wedged in between the two of you. You forced away the murmurs of your lingering thoughts that took note of how the moonlight and shadows danced across the surface of Aizen's face just right, and emphasized his decidedly handsome features.
"But having a complete and good night's rest is important to be fully functional in all areas of one's performance. Wouldn't you agree?"
You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yes, I do agree with that sentiment."
Aizen all but hummed in acknowledgement, letting a moment of silence fill the air before speaking again.
"Shall we be on our way?"
You nodded in agreement, following him as the both of you walked about the First Division grounds. From what you could tell based on your position, your aimless nightly stroll drew you closer to where Sokyoku Hill was located. The area became increasingly more grassy and contained less buildings.
Although Squad 1 grounds weren't terribly far from either of your barracks, you still weren't sure as to why Captain Aizen wished to meet out here. Initially you thought that perhaps he was just fond of this particular scenery, but really it could have been anything.
But still, you believed Aizen always had a purpose for everything he did.
After several moments, his warm voice replaced the evening silence, vocalizing your current thoughts. “I assume you are contemplating why it is I have asked you here, and I’m afraid the reason is quite benign. Truthfully, I just wished for your company. I often go on night walks to clear my head after a long day and thought I might invite you to join me this time, and have a conversation with each other."
Your brows shifted upwards, for that was not quite the answer you were expecting. It seemed too . . . simple. “Really? You just . . . wanted to talk with me? Plainly?”
The Squad 5 captain let out a short, soft laugh at the disbelief that was painted on your face. There was an expression of fondness present in his eyes and in the light smile he offered you. “Yes, exactly. I quite enjoy our discussions actually, they’re intellectually stimulating and relatively pleasant. You crossed my mind, and before yesterday, it has been quite some time since we’ve had the opportunity to unwind and talk.”
You hummed an mhmm in agreement, tearing your eyes away from Aizen’s side profile in favor of the hem of his captain’s haori, watching how it danced in the soft breeze. It seemed to be less distracting than the way Aizen peered down at you from time to time.
"I see. I am. . . . truly flattered by your words, Captain Aizen; you're too kind. Forgive me for asking but," you took longer strides so that you could fall into step next to him━ as if to speak to him more directly, "Why at this time? To talk with me, I mean. It couldn't wait until more . . . . . conventional hours?"
He chuckled again, and answered as smoothly as if he were awaiting you to ask him that. "Unfortunately, today's tasks ran a little long today, so I had to stay at my office later than usual." The spectacled man paused for a moment, before setting his soft gaze on you, "And besides, that completely defeats the purpose of inviting you on a night stroll, doesn't it?"
You ignored the heat flaring up in your cheeks again. Your mind refused to move past the fact that you had crossed Sōsuke Aizen's mind enough times━ or the times that he thought about you were significant enough━ and highly enough to invite you into his realm and indulge in these moments with him, when he very much could have done that alone.
A tender smile appeared on your lips, more towards yourself than the man next to you. "I. . . suppose it does."
The ashen-white moon only rose higher in the sky, providing an ambiance of tranquility as the both of you talked about whatever crossed the surface of your minds. Other times, the stillness of the night did the talking, and you'd listen to the leaves, and the wind, and the crickets sing together in harmony. Gradually as you walked and the beaten path grew more narrow, your figures drew closer together, until you could feel the long sleeves of his haori brush against your own.
You hadn't noticed that the two of you eventually stopped walking and paused under a tree until Aizen struck up conversation once more. When he called out your name in that gentle, velvety voice, you swore your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The sound of your name rolled of his tongue so smoothly, the desire to hear it again grew within you.
"Uh━ yes, Captain Aizen?"
"Are you satisfied with way things are at the moment?"
You stood next to him, perplexed at his inquiry due to its vague nature. "Um, what. . . . things? I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking."
The wind brushed Aizen's dark ochre tresses across his face as he took a step towards you, like the breeze itself was pushing him towards you. "Hm, perhaps I should be more clear then. Are you content with being a soul reaper? Are you satisfied with being a soldier for the Soul Society?"
With your brows slightly furrowed in thought, you remained silent for several seconds and overanalyzed his every word, trying to predict where he might be steering the conversation now. The longer you thought it over, the stronger that nagging feeling from within your soul became. The one that often told you what he was asking wasn't exactly . . . it didn't quite feel . . . . .
"This feels like a prelude to another insightful discussion on Shinigami━ and by extension━ Seiretei politics." Your words cut off your own thoughts, as if your mind was trying to sweep something under the proverbial rug.
Aizen huffed in amusement, before lightly shrugging, leaving your statement definitively unanswered.
You sighed as you seriously considered his question this time. "I mean sure, I guess. I'm somewhat satisfied with my job and all of . . . this," gesturing your hands in the air around you to emphasize your point. The 5th Division Captain made another humming noise, indicating that you still had his full attention. He inched a little closer into your personal space.
The mere action caused your next words to die in your throat and a quiet chuckle resounded from his, before your thoughts revived themselves again.
"Of course things could always be better but. . . . y'know. This is just how it is." You weren't quite sure if you should voice negative opinions about the Soul Society so plainly to a senior officer, even if he was the one who asked you in the first place, so you treaded lightly.
The same plainly relaxed smile from earlier remained painted across his lips, held in his chestnut irises was an emotion akin to affection. He seemed somewhat pleased that you were expressing your thoughts with him.
“And you? Are you satisfied, Captain Aizen?” You were unable to keep the teasing endearment out of your tone as you returned his gaze, casting aside the notions of Gotei officer seating and ranks for the moment. The air seemed like it shifted━ towards what, you weren't sure of━ but it kind of made you feel like you were adrift, floating in isolation from everything else around you.
It was still hard to process that you were alone with Captain Aizen right now. . . . at night.
A low hum reverberated within his chest, contemplative in nature as he replied, “Perhaps.”
The wind whistled lowly again, erecting goosebumps on whatever part of your skin happened to catch the midnight breeze. You fought the instinctual urge to twitch towards the nearest source of heat, which happened to be Aizen. Now that would be even more wholly inappropriate than the 'lovers meeting at midnight' scenario.
The silence between the both of you was brief, but comfortable nonetheless. Once more his mellifluous voice cut through the quiet, leveled and calm, like still ocean waters.
“Come. I want to show you something,” Aizen reached his arm out towards you, your spine as straight as if someone stuck a metal rod dipped in ice water down your robes.
The captain's movements seemed steady and slow━ it had felt like time itself had hesitated for several moments. You thought he was going to . . . . well you weren't sure what he was going to do, and that's what you made you nervous.
Was he going to touch you? Cradle your cheek? Remove a stray leaf that happened to land on your head? You were left somewhat dangling in anticipation, not daring to flinch backwards because you felt it would be disrespectful or offensive. You hadn't even blinked, subconsciously fearing that this was only a very vivid daydream.
But alas, when his arm drew near it extended past your head, slightly above you, and held a small branch in his palm it like a delicate flower. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, but that breath drew short again when your gaze was eye level with his lower neck and chin.
He seemed . . . . closer.
“I think that regarding the condition of the Soul Society," Aizen began in a quiet voice, referencing his own reply to his earlier question, "and therefore my thoughts about it, is akin to this set of leaves on this branch."
Snapping out of whatever stupor you seemed to have slipped in, you exhaled softly before stepping back a bit to look at what he was talking about. In his palm he cradled a wayward branch that grew from one of the other sturdier branches of the tree. The green foliage of its arms had started to weaken and dull in color. The cold air due to the seasonal transition to autumn caused the leaves become brittle, nearing closer to the edge of death.
The sound of just how brittle they were resounded in the air when Aizen thumbed the leaves in between his fingertips, observing their texture with pity laced in his small movements.
"These leaves will fall off as it gets colder. And soon, the rest of this tree will be bare as well. When the time comes, when the right circumstances fall into place, the old die to make way and usher in the new; it's simply the way things are. I think of the Soul Society government is structured in a similar manner."
You hung onto his every word, like he were imparting crucial wisdom to you. Even though you were a bit confused on the last part, and on the connection between dying leaves and Soul Society, you still listened intently, waiting for him bridge the gap between the two.
"The Soul Society as it is now can be thought of as a season. And this particular season, this climate has remained so for several centuries. How can nature continue━ how can we continue to progress when the old have yet to be washed away by the currents of time? It defies that of nature, yes?" He directed this question at you specifically, in search of your agreement.
You nodded your head, tearing your gaze away from the branch and directed it at the grass beneath your feet. Your brows furrowed a little as you mused over Aizen's words. He gave a rather ambiguous answer before but now, his words sounded like vague displeasure and muted criticism. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, and on some fronts, you'd sometimes agreed with the 5th Division Captain. The Soul Society was far from perfect, too much emphasis on nobility and status, the government resembled too closely to an oligarchy . . . But you didn't━ wouldn't voice these thoughts, though.
Instead you hummed quietly under your breath. There was that tugging sensation again. This time it told you that there was something deeper to this conversation than meets the eye. But what could there be? Was there anything at all or were you just overthinking it?
The voice-like sensation in your soul was calling out to you, but you couldn't hear it that well or quite make out what it was saying. It's as if someone was calling out to you in a crowded room that had music playing on the speakers: you felt like if you listened hard enough you could make it out but ultimately, the result would fruitless.
"And when that happens," Aizen continued, "sometimes nature has to be gently nudged back on track to keep things moving smoothly. That may require . . . shaking the tree. Pulling a few harmful weeds from one's garden, so to speak."
"Weeds?" You echoed. You felt like you understood this analogy and therefore what he was trying to say, but at the same time you didn't. Or was it . . . . you didn't want to understand what he was implying?
Because if you were interpreting his words correctly, if he were inconspicuously comparing the higher-ups and the government itself to dying leaves and harmful plants that needed to be removed, then . . . .
"You, dear child, are a mere weed in this scenario."
Wait, what did he just━
Your thoughts were cut short when a gush of air that smelt strongly of Aizen━ warm oak, vanilla, and a kind of musk that you weren't sure how to describe but was still pleasant all the same━ brushed against your face and took you by surprise.
But there was another aroma that arose, steadily becoming more apparent alongside the increasingly painful throbbing feeling you felt in your abdomen.
It smelt metallic. And it was something that you've smelt all too many times before.
It was blood.
Your gaze that was initially narrowed in confusion lowered as it followed the source of this pain. Your eyes slowly widened in as you struggled to comprehend the blade that was currently ran through your torso.
Aizen's blade.
"Actually, instead of weeds, a more accurate and befitting analogy perhaps would be blades of grass. You unfortunately have to step on them in order to reach the weeds you want to remove."
You couldn't really focus on what the captain was saying, because your brain was still struggling to process what the hell just happened. Your hands slowly rose from their sides and shakily grazed the zanpakuto, wanting to believe that if you touched it, it would pass right through your fingers like mist. But no, the sensation of cold steel was as real as the robes you wore on your back. You only just now are processing the muffled squelching sound of his sword impaling your flesh.
You wanted to scream, to cry in pain, to vomit, to push him off━ something. But all you could do was stand there, stunned, words completely failing you. "Wh. . . . what? Why did . . . . you . . . . "
A cough replaced your attempt at a comprehensive sentence, and you tasted iron in your mouth.
Fuck....was this really happening?
"Please don't push yourself trying to talk," His voice was like an index finger to one's lips, similar to a parent's gentle caress to quiet and sooth their child, "You'll only hasten your death. And I'm sure you wish to know the reason for my killing you, yes? You'd have to be alive for that."
'Killing me?' 'My death?' The certainty that rang in his words chilled the blood in your veins, and they confirmed the one conclusion you hoped wouldn’t come true: that you were going to die.
The frigid embrace of fear and dread engulfed you from behind and you shivered, causing the blade snugly lodged in your organs to shift. The pain of that foreign object moving even a little bit shot through your entire body, causing a groan to emerge from your throat.
Desperate to conserve your energy and the oxygen that was becoming a little harder to take in, your breathing became uneven and a little wheezed. Even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet the gaze of Captain Aizen to confirm if this was really happening or just an extremely realistic and vivid nightmare. The sight you might be greeted with could be more frightening than the actual impaling of his sword.
As if his betrayal couldn’t actually or figuratively cut you any deeper, just then there was a noise that grew louder and louder within a matter of seconds until it was almost deafening. You’ve distinguished it to be the sound of glass crackling.
Your surroundings formed cracks everywhere on its surface, like it was just an oversized window. Even on the grass you stood on, or what you thought was grass, began to crumble away.
A dumbfounded but panicked look was plastered on your face when your world literally shattered around you, the only remnants of it being you and the Captain.
What was underneath the mirage━ or you should say, the fact that it was a mirage at all━ only disturbed you and increased your perplexity.
Slightly hunched over and breathing heavily, it took a minute to process where you were, but you noticed that now the two of you stood in a formal room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The lights in the room slowly started to brighten, most likely due to motion sensors. Even with Aizen's scent lingering in your nose, you could still pick out a rather stale aroma that hung in the air like dead fruit that hadn't fallen off the tree.
"Is . . . this Cen . . . tral━ "
"You are correct. Where we currently stand is the assembly hall for Central 46, the judicial power of the Soul Society. All judiciary as well as legislative trials and proceedings are held here."
All around the room were seats with partitions, the kanji for 1 through 46 printed on them. In the seat for the 19th member, your gaze caught onto something on the translucent barrier. It was a little farther up so you had to squint your already blurring vision to see it properly.
You saw, and your heart promptly sank as a result, eyes widening once more.
There were splatters of a dark colored substance on the partition━ undeniably blood. And the lithe, bony fingers of an older man laid lifeless, peeking out from the side of the screen like the appendages themselves were trying to escape from the body they were attached to.
That man . . . was dead. That stale aroma you smelt was the stench of death.
It was only after that unsettling epiphany did your eyes dart frantically around the room and realize that every member of Central 46 was dead.
The disturbed expression on your face only intensified as your stare was pulled back down to where Aizen's blade still resided in your body.
" Cap.....Aizen," you uttered, swift to correct yourself. All the moisture in your throat dried up like water underneath the unrelenting rays of the sun. You kept gulping your saliva in an attempt to assuage the sensation, but relief only last for a fleeting few seconds. "Did you ━ you killed them . . . didn't you?" Your question was laced with shaky hesitance and swelled with apprehension, fearing that you already knew his reply even before he answered.
There was a moment of silence and a hum before he replied. "Smart girl."
The muted mirthful tone in his voice sounded like sarcasm, and it was enough to finally draw your attention away from everything else and directly look at him. Almost instantly, you regretted it.
His umber tinted gaze was colder than you remembered. You couldn't find anything in his eyes that hinted that all of this was just a big misunderstanding, or a dream, or that Aizen had a secret sense dark and complex humor.
This was your first, and apparently your last time, that you have ever felt a fear such as this. Your mind was struggling to comprehend this was the same Aizen that spoke with you so gently, full of encouragement and wisdom. The same man that recommended you books to read and gifted you tea to drink and gazed upon you like . . .
Well, none of that mattered now. In this moment, Sōsuke Aizen wasn't the same man anymore. This Sōsuke Aizen was someone else, and it frightened you.
"When?" you croaked, your voice no longer sounding like your own. Nothing felt real anymore. "W-When did you . . . . . how? Why?"
Another noncommittal hum resounded from the spectacled man as he closed his eyes, feigning the action of thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, his narrow gaze returned to you.
"Everyone in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads was previously aware that the ability of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu, allowed me to confuse the enemy using bodies of water, mist and even moisture in the air in order to attack. However, that is not my zanpakuto's actual power; there is more to it than just simple confusion. Kyoka Suigetsu's true power is Complete Hypnosis. Essentially, when someone looks at my blade, I am then able to take control of that person’s five senses, causing them to believe that something is real ━ or that something isn't real. In a way, once glancing at my unsheathed zanpakuto, that person forfeits their sense of existence to me. Kyoka Suigetsu is quite flawless in its deceptive abilities."
A heavy silence, aside from your uneven breaths, endured in the space between both of you. You didn't need him to spell out what he was trying to say.
It was all . . . . an illusion. A convoluted, premeditated illusion. And you walked right into it without even knowing or considering, that it was all fake.
The Fifth Division Captain inwardly smiled at the despair clearly written on your face as he watched you mentally put the pieces together. He took your lack of reply as a sign to continue. "The members of Central 46 have unfortunately been dead for quite some time now. And as for your question of why......"
The taller man stepped towards you which inadvertently (or purposely, you began to fear), drove his sword deeper into your abdomen without warning and slight force. You bit down on your bottom lip hard to stifle your exclamation of pain. In an attempt to somehow resist him, with the little strength you had left, your hands automatically took purchase in his oversized sleeves, but it did nothing. You found it ironic that you could feel how warm Aizen was underneath his robes, but his soul was anything but.
" . . . . I believe I already mentioned it earlier, yes? All flowers die eventually and the weeds......must be removed."
At that moment you remembered that tugging sensation that told you something felt off in some instances whenever you talked with Aizen. This must have been what it was. Damn it all. You still didn't understand exactly what bad things Central 46 and the Soul Society have done to cause his actions, but based on what you've been told and your current position, it must have been heinous. Again, you actively swallowed the urge to vomit.
"You . . . you lied. I can't believe━ how could it have all b-been a lie?" Another nasty cough rattled your body, followed by a shiver and a groan.
The brown-haired man slightly tilted his head, like he was truly confused. "Lied? Hmm, well. I suppose you could put it that way based on your limited knowledge of the circumstances, but I wouldn't put it that way. Besides, this isn't really about truth or lies. It is, and always has been, only about the reality of what is. And what is, is that you were unable to anticipate my deception. No one could, because it was outside the domain of your thoughts. What is, is that the current way the Soul Society operates is tainted, and I shall be the one to remedy it."
You drew another shuddering breath and looked down at the ground with a grim expression as your blood continued to pool at your feet. Briefly, you even considered unsheathing yourself from his blade and take the chance to make a run for it, but the chances of you making it to the outside world, let alone coming across someone before you bled out and died were slim. Besides, it was clear that you couldn't even trust your own senses anymore after Aizen demonstrated that he had complete control of your reality.
Which reminded you of something else.
" . . . when?" you asked the same question again, but much quieter than before, despair palpable in your voice. 'When and how did you subject me to your zanpakuto's Complete Hypnosis?', is what you were really asking. And being as intelligent as he was, the spectacled man understood.
Abruptly, with a large palm on the small of your back, Aizen used his gentle hold grip to pull you towards him in order to close the remaining distance, causing him to drive the remaining length of his zanpakuto all the way through until the tsuba of his blade rested against your stomach. You looked like a skewered piece of meat.
You didn't have the willpower to hold back the piercing shriek of agony and physical anguish as tears sprung forth from your eyes. You could no longer tell if your blurry vision was due to your tears obstructing your sight or if it was from being a step away from death's door.
"Do you remember . . . the first time we met?"
The hand that rested on your lower back slowly glided upwards until his fingers found your jaw. With a tenderness that reminded you of a time before his betrayal, he lifted your chin and guided your gaze to look at him directly. His thumb moved to graze your bottom lip just as you've done mere hours ago━ as if he knew that, as if he watched you do it. His thumb was dangerously close to slipping inside your mouth and that both excited and scared you. Your breasts against his, your breaths synchronized with his, your body and his were fully pressed against each other and it made focusing on his question more difficult.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first time . . . we met? Sure, with a little bit of effort you could easily recall the first time you formally met Aizen. It was sometime in the spring, and you remembered him running through combat formations with his lieutenant and the rest of his squad. But why d━
A silent gasp left you. Another epiphany, another figurative blade piercing your heart.
Battle formations, and he . . . offered you to join them . . . his zanpakuto . . . . .
Confusion crumbled away, and was replaced with vacant horror and sadness. It seems you've already been defeated, for many, many years now.
Aizen seemed to murmur something under his breath, a pleased sound you couldn't quite decipher. His mouth brushed over yours, rendering you literally speechless, before he closed the distance and brought your lips together. You could barely process what was happening.
It was ironically tragic how soft and skillfully gentle his lips were against yours. The kiss felt longing, like a departure between two sweethearts and their last meeting together. It also felt heavy and final, making you want to cry.
And you did. Silent tears streamed from your eyes and rolled onto the fingers that still held your face so affectionately. The captain reacted by guiding your chin up a little further, dipping his head a little lower, so he could deepen the kiss. You weakly scorned yourself for thinking about how the two of you must really look like lovers now, sans the sword sticking out from your back.
Oh, how cruel this was; how cruel he was. It was cruel for him to kiss you like this, hand still splayed on your back like he needed to touch you stay sane. And how cruel it was that still managed to enjoy it, even as you stood there dying. Your lips moved together in tandem, slow and almost passionate, all while tears stained the apples of your cheeks, drying up the plush youth that once resided in them.
Aizen's tongue had slithered its way into your mouth, and you suddenly felt like crying harder. There was a tart, sweet flavor lingering on his tastebuds, and you absently wondered what is was. Perhaps hibiscus from tea, you surmised. And he too tasted the sweet jasmine and citrus that clung your tongue and lips. At this, he chuckled quietly into your mouth, humming before retracting from you by a few inches so he could speak.
"I knew you would like the tea. It's sweet and flavorful, isn't it?" You hated how low his voice was, how its timbre pleasurably vibrated and rumbled against your lips, and you hated that lidded stare he gave you. You again thought it unfair that you couldn't even revel in the rare sight of Aizen's lips slightly wet because your lips were intertwined with his.
"I have to thank you for humoring me and my recommendations. I really appreciated it. And I also," you winced loudly and cried out in affliction as Aizen finally began to withdraw the sword from your body, "must to bid you farewell now. It seems you don't have any more time left, and this has dragged on for longer than it needed. I'm not surprised you've held out for this long, as I already knew you possessed commendable strength. But alas it wasn't enough. I am sorry that you have to die; it's rather regrettable that you happened to be that blade of grass that ended up underneath my foot."
Another wail was yanked from your chest as he steadily removed his sword from your abdomen. The pain was becoming excruciating, you would have collapsed by now if the taller man weren't holding you.
You saw two things before the light in your eyes had all but faded away. The first were the colors of faux pity and apathy that swirled in Sōsuke Aizen's irises, spiraling like a storm that was certain to wreak havoc in its wake. His gaze was devoid of any regret or remorse; the final metaphorical nail on the coffin. The second was a small smile.
But this wasn't one of his smiles you were familiar with. No wait . . . . the one you knew was simply a veneer of what is.
This smile was slanted, the corners of his lips tilted upwards and was sharp. Sharp enough to cut open your already gaping wound further and completely tear you apart, spelling out your demise. It looked insidious as if it were hiding razor-edged fangs. This was what is; Aizen's real smile.
"I. . . I see. Aize. . . ." were the last words you were able to manage. You didn't have the strength to be upset or hurt any longer, so you gave in to the exhaustion.
Your body permanently relaxed, long lashes veiling your now empty eyes as your arms lifelessly dropped to your sides. The captain found a disturbing amount of pleasure in his name being the final word you attempted to speak before succumbing to the sleep of death.
And even after the fact, the facade of doomed, star-crossed lovers persisted as your body slumped backwards. Aizen's strong forearm wrapped tightly around your waist being the only reason you didn't fall to the ground in a puddle of your own blood.
That day was the last anyone saw of you, your zanpakuto still laid idly in your room, its spirit destined to forever wander in the afterlife between worlds alone, eventually fading from existence without ever feeling the presence of its master again.
They had declared you missing by the end of the next day. Lieutenant Hisagi was probably the most perturbed about your sudden disappearance. Days, weeks passed, and they never located you. The Gotei 13 was left unsettled by the lack of progress, but ultimately had to rule your case inconclusive. Some believed that you were simply killed by a stray hollow, or even ran away from your duties because of the stress.
The news of what happened spread like wildfire across all the squads, that a high-ranked officer just up and vanished without a trace. The spirits and morale of the thirteen companies dampened, sorrow and worry swelling like a festering boil.
And that boil burst when Ryoka infiltrated the Soul Society, and when it was revealed that all of it was carefully orchestrated by Sōsuke Aizen.
Like a blade of grass that somehow snuck into one's sandals or in between their toes, during his time in Hueco Mundo, images of you flashed in his head at unexpected times when his mind was quiet. He'd remove the grass, tossed you aside, and moved on with his day. There was no room for you in the grand scheme of things. Such reminisces were beneath someone like him.
And yet.
He'd always find another piece of grass from the greenery he stepped on whenever he advanced a step in his plans. There you were again.
It was common knowledge that if you kept repeating the same action over and over, it will eventually wear you down.
━━━━━━ 鏡  ━━━━━━━
It was dark, and there was nothing.
There had been nothing for quite a long time now. Utter darkness and the abyssal shade of black engulfed every inch of Aizen's body and surroundings.
He saw nothing, the seals over his eyes too opaque to let anything through. And even if they weren't obscuring his vision, he would barely be able to see three feet in front of him; there was seldom a few lanterns in his cell to begin with. He felt nothing but the bindings that kept him imprisoned in one of the deepest pits of the Seireitei. At times it felt like even his internal organs had stilled in their functions. He heard nothing but the unrelenting quiet of his cell within Mugen's maw. The only thing that served as proof that he hasn't spontaneously grown deaf yet was the occasional muffled noise that originated from outside of the entrance. And even then, he could hardly hear much of anything.
Such is an ironic fate for someone who, with a stray thought and a glint of his blade, could control someone's senses and take away their free will to experience those senses in their reality. And now, he was stripped away of all of his in nearly every capacity.
Sōsuke Aizen was rendered stationary and stagnant, qualities he detested and were the antithesis of his ambitions and plans, perhaps even his existence.
Aizen had always believed in being in control of your own destiny and making your own choices; if you had the opportunity and the power to change something━ especially if it was something that was wrong, unfair or immoral━ then one should be able to move towards that goal by making change, even if by force. The former captain had always been intentional about his actions and his desires right from the start.
And yet, here he ended up.
Spending years strapped to a chair in this dark, cloistered hole, Aizen had nothing but time to reflect the reason for his arrest: that orange haired Ryoka boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He had nothing but time to admit to himself and settle on the conclusion that his last battle with the substitute Shinigami . . . did something to him.
Fighting the Ryoka boy ignited something inside him that he previously believed would forever lay dormant.
The thrill of a challenge.
Adrenaline was injected into his veins with each clash of their swords, spreading far and wide across every inch of his body. It no longer reacted in the measured, calculative manner he had programmed it to, but with unadulterated, pure instinct and raw power━ all in an effort to not only withstand such potent spirit energy from his opponent, but to come out on top and win.
It made him feel alive.
Aizen's desire to be the victor in battle and in his philosophy━ to prove himself right━ both fueled him and consumed him so thoroughly it led to his own downfall. That was a rather difficult fact to acknowledge; so much so his head started to pulsate intensely whenever it crossed his mind one time too often.
All of it unfolded right in front of his eyes and yet . . . he didn't really see it happen.
As time passed during his perpetual incarceration, with hooded eyes, the former captain spent an unfathomable amount of time tossing and turning every single event that led him to this underground prison, even pondering his temporary release by the Head Captain Kyōraku to fight in the war. Scenarios both minor and significant displayed itself in front of his mind's eye as if he were watching a film.
Every so often, a blurred visage of your image would make a brief appearance, like the flickering sparks of a match before they were able to come to light, fading away into the void and were overshadowed by his other thoughts. It was as if his own consciousness and intentionally muted any manifestations of your existence in his memories. As if he wasn't able to or allowed to see them━ to remember you for too long.
Mentally reliving moments from the last several months, years, decades, centuries━ trying to analyze each moment and decipher where it could have went wrong━ turned out to be quite an exhausting task. His mind and body would grow heavier with inertia, and eventually he would succumb to the alluring pull of slumber. After some time he would rouse from his sleep, and continued from where he left off.
These were his daily activities day in and day out (even though he had trouble distinguishing day and night in his chambers) for years. He saw a positive side to it though. He'd instead think of it has him getting stronger because he had spent so long . . . thinking. Ruminating. Contemplating every possibility in the past, present, and future. His mind would become as sharp as his zanpakuto.
Aizen had always been intentional about what he did, what he said, and how he conducted himself. He was sure in his abilities to orchestrate an image━ a belief for others to have faith in, and act on it in order to further his goals. He was always sure in that image, knowing who he was and what he stood for.
Or at least, that's what he thought.
Aizen wasn't consciously aware that his certainty in this crafted image had already begun to waver. He could not and was unable to anticipate how severe these small fractures had become until after a certain lieutenant paid him a visit outside his cell of confinement, right before he was scheduled to be thrown back into that dark hole of the Mugen.
Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi was quite emotive when he burst through the doors. His expressions were contorted in volatile mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. His emotions were every which way, directed at everything that has happened so far, including himself. He was especially emotive at Aizen specifically for what he did to former captain Kaname Tosen and 'corrupting him with his twisted ideals.'
Aizen found amusement in that.
Before he was rolled away by the punishment force and therefore out of earshot, a particular set of Hisagi's words caused the small, content smile on his lips to uncurl ever so slightly. "Everything . . . and everyone that has ever gotten themselves involved with you has been trampled on by you and your ideals one way or another, and they all end up dead. If you think what you did to Captain Tosen was justified━ to call it mercy . . . . . then there is truly no justice in this world. You will . . . forever be the enemy in my eyes."
There was a trembling anger in his voice. Pain that wanted to cry out and be set free but, the thin lid of reason prevented it from doing so. And after a moment of silence, the corners of Aizen's lips curved upwards once more. A little bemused, a little more wolfish this time. He maliciously imagined Hisagi's reaction if he ever discovered the true reason for your disappearance.
But instead, all he said was. "What an interesting thing to say, Shuhei Hisagi. Your conviction is admirable." Any evidence of emotion that might have been reflected in his sepia irises was swallowed up and obscured by the darkness of the Mugen's jaw.
The cracks in Aizen's sense of self, in his beliefs, in the image he invented started to cave under the weight of Hisagi's words before he himself realized it was happening. They were like stains in the fabric of his mind that refused to come out.
What puzzled him more, was that with each attempt to figure out just why Hisagi's words echoed in his mind, they all lead back to you, the third seat of the 9th squad. Annoyingly so.
The tattooed lieutenant hadn’t said anything particularly profound ━ at least, Aizen didn't think so. Your name didn’t even fall from his lips. So why were memories of you and your likeness the only clear thoughts he could make of Hisagi's speech? Was it because he was aware of how close the two of you were? He doubted the reason were that trivial and insignificant.
His thoughts grew more discordant by the day, his soul a little more weighted than usual. Perhaps these new seals that Urahara had fashioned actually had an effect on him, Aizen thought. It made sense. His intellect, other than his own, were the only ones capable of creating such effective restraints.
After a while, he had a revelation. This was a different kind of weight.
This heaviness, the closest word he knew to describe it as . . . . was loneliness.
Time taunted him as it seemed to drag on━ Aizen grew even less sure of how much━ when he came to this realization. Hisagi's words were a clear mirror to the loneliness that echoed within him after what happened to you and to Tosen. It was so . . . potent, that it seemed to strike some chord in Aizen he had never heard before.
Such a chord, this sound of loneliness, it was strange and uncomfortable; he wasn't very fond of this sensation. He'd try to scrub it away, but it was all for naught.
His eyes had slid shut at some point, his ruminations leading to dead ends and wearing him down. And, almost as expected, there you were again, in all your translucent glory. The hem, the sleeves, and even the smell of your yukata slowly dragged across his dreams, haunting his thoughts like a lonely wraith.
And Aizen hardly dreamt of anything.
When he regained consciousness he was plagued with yet another epiphany. An additional reason behind this newfound depth.
Aizen's own loneliness. Guilt. Much to his own quiet horror.
How foreign and unusual a thing like guilt is. It was like looking into a mirror and not recognizing something you had never noticed before, but wondered if it had always been there.
But the thing Aizen did recognize, how lonely he actually felt, was something he had hoped would never resurface again. It was a notion he hadn't had the time or regard to consider━ 'loneliness'. Its only purpose, if any, was solely to serve as a motivator. At times though, it was more like a hindrance.
Something akin to nausea slowly started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but he suppressed the sensation before it became any more intense.
What of his previous actions did he need to feel guilty for? He hadn't felt it then, so why would he feel it now? Again he ruminated such a question endlessly into oblivion.
The former captain had no doubts that his plan to remove the Soul King, and therefore the Soul Society's sins, were necessary.
Nor did any hesitancy about removing the opposition or dead weight━ whether shinigami or arrancar━ existed.
He certainly had no reservations against killing Kaname Tosen, for he knew the man well enough to know that Tosen would have been so thoroughly appalled with what he had become, it would have drove him mad.
So what was it, then? Why were such useless emotions as guilt and loneliness being amplified n━
"Y....know, S....."
Even covered by the seals, Aizen's eyes widened and his brows were slightly furrowed in distress. Had his mind finally tipped the scales of sanity and madness, to the point where he was hearing things?
It was quiet for several moments longer, before his senses caught onto the sound of water dripping onto a hard surface.
One drop at a time.
Its cadence a little too rhythmic to be natural. And for a second time, he heard that soft, ominous sounding whisper. Its voice a little clearer this time.
"You...know.....Sōsuke."
In the second it took for his eyes to flutter shut behind its seals to blink, when he reopened them, he was no longer sealed to the walls and floors of the Mugen, nor was he surrounded by every shade of darkness imaginable. His limbs and senses were finally freed to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.
That relief was short-lived when his senses absorbed the unending landscape of water underneath his feet, water lilies lifelessly floating on its surface, and the dim sky illuminated by a full pale moon.
Aizen was in his inner world, and now he was aware of how he got here, or rather who brought him here.
"You . . . already know the answer to that question, Sōsuke." The voice was even more clear, its sentences more comprehensible. And it sounded it eerily like you.
Why the voice was impersonating your likeness had caught him off guard for half a second, but he realized it was only the work of his zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu.
An illusion it may be, there was an untouchable quality about your voice and how you spoke that even Kyoka Suigetsu couldn't replicate.
A few feet away from him, the water was disturbed by a being emerging from the depths. Ripples formed around a manifested version of his zanpakuto, who took the form of you, smiling ever so gently. The smile felt airy, and it didn't seem like the same one that haunted his dreams and every waking thought as of late. It felt....knowing.
Still, the former captain couldn't be bothered to maintain eye contact with his sword spirit, so he turned around and opted to keep his unreadable stare trained on the vast expanse of water and white lilies.
"It's been quite a while since I have stepped foot into this realm. There must be something you want . . . Kyoka."
The zanpakuto chuckled, it sounded like the way you would softly laugh at one of his clever quips. But this wasn't you.
He didn’t want to admit that something about that fact didn’t sit right with him.
"Judging from your tone, would I be correct in assuming you don't want to be here?"
Silence rang out within the soul scape, before Aizen interrupted it, his gentle voice colored a shade darker, and a little rigid. "And I fail to see the reason why you must take that form when you revealed yourself to me. Is your aim to get a reaction out of me? Or something along those lines?"
Your eyes━ the eyes of Kyoka Suigetsu━ narrowed at its master's back, as if they were trying to create concavities in his skull. But the expression was washed away the moment it appeared, the serene smile from before was back in place.
"You know . . . it's considered quite rude to not look at someone when you're addressing them. That, and when you deliberately ignore things they say. Your manners have been deteriorating, Sōsuke. Tsk, tsk."
Kyoka-dressed-as-you suddenly appeared before him, as if they had teleported. Even when they were in his peripheral vision, Aizen still maintained his stare off into the distant nothingness.
"Unless, you can't find it in yourself to look at me. . . that's correct, isn't it? It's because I look exactly like her, right?" The zanpakuto continued to provoke him, taking a step closer into his personal space.
With an exasperated sigh, his eyelids fell shut for a second, using that time to gather the strength he didn't know he needed, and directed his gaze to meet his spirit's. Aizen's face gave nothing away, but his heart lurched about his chest when his bronze eyes met with yours, or what was made to look like yours. The undesired affect it had on him was all the same.
"If you wish to chastise me about manners, I suggest you take your own advice. You didn't answer my first question, either: what is it you want? Why am I here?" Again the former captain chose to not address the other parts of Kyoka's statement. For the sake of his sanity and his thinning patience━ or was it to preserve his resolve?
Its smile widened a bit, moving another step closer to their master. God, Kyoka even smelled like you, mimicking your signature honeyed scent that Aizen didn't realize he found so intoxicating until this very moment.
"I called you here to save you from yourself."
Aizen remained silent, only narrowing his eyes in speculation. "Meaning?"
"Didn't I already say it earlier? I think you already know what I'm talking about, Sōsuke. You've always known."
Fate's pairing of Kyoka Suigetsu with Aizen was a match crafted from the spindles of heaven, but also a maddening curse pulled from the depths of hell, for they complimented each other a little too well. The zanpakuto was too perfect a reflection of Aizen and his soul, looking at it started to hurt his eyes.
His sword spirit insisted that he already knew the reason for his coming here, and perhaps he did have an inkling the moment the light of epiphany was shone on his profound loneliness and guilt. But that couldn't have been what it was referring to . . . . could it?
"You cannot feign ignorance here, my dear Sōsuke, however I do find it rather humorous you bother trying. If you'd like, I don't mind humoring you by spelling it out for you. I'd be glad to unearth the truth that you have buried in the most neglected corner of your heart."
"When you were . . . . subjecting yourself to such mental torment, it had an affect on this world as well. The ripples, the waves in this scape become quite . . . tumultuous." The nuances in your voice were perfected by his zanpakuto, but the way it talked sounded like a fog that was gradually closing in from over the horizon. The uneasy feeling that resided in his chest traveled down to his stomach, but Aizen's face remained steely, even when Kyoka Suigetsu took that final step to close the gap in between them. "And the reason for that, the reason why Hisagi's words rattled you so is because you regret killing that woman."
The creased line in Aizen's brow grew more prominent as he stared down his sentient sword spirit. With its breast pressed against his, they placed a hand on his clothed chest in a tantalizing manner, but he felt nothing. There was no warmth from its palm, much unlike when your hand touched him. There wasn't even a cool sensation either. Even minutes before your death, your touch brought a soothing heat that permeated through his shihakusho and penetrated his skin.
Kyoka's face grew nearer, their smile━ although still tender looking━ grew cold at its edges, nearly resembling that of a predator eager to see despair reflected in the eyes of its prey. It didn't fit the graceful allure of your face at all, and seeing this expression deeply unsettled the former captain more than he would like to admit.
"You regret . . . killing me."
A chill tore through Aizen's body, the weight of Kyoka's words adding onto the heaviness that still hasn't been alleviated from his heart; he was hardly able to suppress the involuntary shiver.
Without warning, Kyoka's mouth suddenly became dangerously close to their master's, its lips brushing against his in a provocative manner. Aizen's expression darkened when he realized that it was reenacting his last encounter with you when you were alive. His mouth started to grow uncomfortably dry, despite his soul scape being full of moisture, and there was a taste on the back of his tongue that's been lingering there since he arrived.
The lilt in Kyoka's tone continued to taunt him. "That is the reason for your guilt: regret. You have been in denial. And in the spirit of unearthing truths, I suppose I can admit that perhaps . . . . I've been . . . . encouraging said delusions, adding drops of fuel into the flames of your emotions and ambitions. But after all that's happened, when it comes down to it there's no point in continuing this hallucination any longer. I've grown tired of this game, so it's time to for you wake up now, Sōsuke. I've brought you here to release you from your own illusion, to completely shatter it."
Aizen's back was as stiff as a board, not moving a millimeter when Kyoka's lips grazed his again. They were breathing softly onto his mouth, but he hardly felt any puffs of air.
The former captain was having a rather difficult time processing the fact that his zanpakuto had its own agenda and had been manipulating his emotions without him noticing. Specifically the emotions he felt towards you.
He never truly believed that such a thing was possible, one's own blade having such a deep-rooted influence━ no, control over their master. Or would it be more accurate to say that he never expected himself to be controlled to such a degree? He that prided himself on being freed from the marionette strings of fate that were tied to his limbs and mind, he that relished being able to do what he wanted, think what he wanted, feel what he wanted━ or what he didn't want━ it was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the end.
Kyoka Suigetsu's deceptive abilities were indeed undeniably perfect. No one, not even Aizen himself could have anticipated that Kyoka's most absolute and complete hypnosis would be enacted on himself.
"Do you know now, Sōsuke? Do you understand?" Kyoka's voice was as soft as a whisper, but it couldn't hide the edges of its tone that were still sharpened from finding amusement of seeing the truth flash across its master's face. "You had destroyed the solution to your existential question of loneliness, before you could fully understand the question itself."
Yes . . . . . Aizen understood now.
He didn't bother acknowledging what Kyoka had said. His grim facial expression━ still, tinged with dolor, and paired with an indescribable, distant look his eyes━ said all that it needed to. His silence was as much as an admission as any.
Kyoka-dressed-as-you leaned forward again to fully close the gap between their lips and Aizen's. Tenderly, like the intentions of a lover, it spoke against his nearly closed mouth. "Have you figured it out yet?"
Nothing but quiet could be heard between them, as Kyoka's mouth moved about their master's face and placed something like kisses upon its surface, but not quite.
Aizen's cocoa-shaded eyes slide down to stare at his sword spirit pressed up against him. His gaze was hard, and yet something swam underneath its surface that his zanpakuto had never seen before. Melancholy, it guessed? They weren't quite sure.
Kyoka pressed on when Aizen remained quiet. "The taste in the back of your mouth. Have you figured out what it was? You know it quite well....."
Aizen's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth, sensing the rather unpleasant taste that has coated the inside of it. And within a moment, because he was faced with the current circumstances, Aizen had finally placed a name associated this particular taste. How unfortunate this was.
Upon his realization, Aizen's head lowered, and his brown tresses hung freely over his lashes. Perhaps it was so Kyoka couldn't properly see whatever remorseful expression painted their master's face, but it mattered not. Even from here, the sword spirit could already sense exactly what it was he was feeling.
And they loved it.
"It's a sweet and flavorful taste, isn't it? Quite lovely." Kyoka Suigetsu mimicked the exact words he uttered against your lips all those years ago when he tasted jasmine tea on your tongue, and sealed your death with a kiss. "It's too bad you don't seem to enjoy it anymore."
Aizen's chest continued to rise and fall calmly, and the hands of his sword spirit that rested there glided upwards to cup his strong jaw, caressing his skin with its thumb. Its phantasmic touch did nothing to stir their master.
"Sōsuke, do you know what the jasmine flower from that tea symbolizes?"
Aizen's lips were slightly parted, but again he didn't say anything. Instead, its corners twitched and lifted upwards by an inch, and he huffed softly.
Kyoka Suigetsu grinned in reply. "Good."
The next time Aizen blinked, he was plunged in darkness yet again. The restrictive feeling that swallowed his being whole had returned, and was an indicator that his zanpakuto had released him from his inner world. He was consciously back in the Mugen, back in this abyss they called a prison cell.
Kyoka was indeed as much as a formidable force in its own right, as much as, if not greater than Aizen himself.
The conversation he had with his sword spirit would be cemented in his head for all eternity. When he grew senile and began to physically wither away, the one thing that would remain vital like a young heart, was this epiphany that he had. This realization that he actually . . . .
As the chains of despair bound him tighter to the bottom of the metaphorical pit, regret and his loneliness corroding his flesh and spirit like metal exposed to moisture, a stray memory of his time in Hueco Mundo flashed in his mind. He recalled having tea prepared for meetings with his Espadas and he could not pinpoint when, but at some point, Aizen developed an aversion for jasmine flavored tea. For one reason or another, he no longer found its taste appealing; whenever he drank it, it always tasted bitter.
Now that reason had become painstakingly clear.
The binding on his mouth muffled a rueful chuckle at the though, and it trapped the flavor of jasmine on his lips.
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(#) @soaringmirror @stygianoir @ryukenzz @blkjupiters @chrissie2003 @nymphoheretic @dejwrld @triangularz @souyaszn @kuujo @honeybleed @valentineluvu . let me know if you’d like to be apart of my tag list ♡♡.
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ride-a-dromedary · 6 months
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#also *is* it canon that he’s like 7ft at least?? bc he has to be#average elf height is 6ft I know this bc. yknow. I’ve read the elf parts of the 5e descriptions#and iirc bg3 moooooostly follows that#so everybody saying ‘oh Halsin is 6ft tall’ THATS NOT EVEN TALL FOR AN ELF THAT IS AVERAGE
@whatever-man-whatever I have been summoned!!
The short answer is no; Halsin's height has not been canonically confirmed in game as far as I'm aware (though I would be a little dodgy if it was anyway, and you'll see why in a moment, but mainly due to the fact that because Halsin is still considered a medium creature, as an elf, the game lists his weight as 75KG - look me DIRECTLY in the eye and tell me that man is 165lbs). And, as far as I am aware, there hasn't been any confirmation of his height from Larian either (though I am happy to be corrected if they have).
But you know whose height has been canonically confirmed? Astarion's. And you know that that leads to? The long answer, which is: logical approximation time with yours truly.
Larian tweeted Astarion's height as being 5'9" in 2021:
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Which is slightly contradicted by the fact that, when playing as a Gith character in the full release, you can choose the option to describe Astarion literally to him when he asks:
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Which - while understandably says 'approximately', so it is just a logical guess on Tav's part - obviously contradicts what Larian indicated previously by implying he's 5'11". Likely this was changed in the two years, or just tossed out there as a joke, or genuinely just mixed up (but I much prefer the 'gith count hair as height or are just not very good at height estimation' and @winter2468's theory that Astarion just wears lifts in his shoes).
However, what this does give us is a point of reference, with the possible height range of Astarion (and I suppose by extension the lithe elf body type in player characters) being somewhere between 5'9" and 5'11" (both a little on the taller side of the average for an Elf in 5e descriptions, but very tall for - say - 3e descriptions).
Now, this has to be taken with a grain of salt because all of the smaller male body types are the same height, so a visual doesn't necessarily say TOO much, however:
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(Note that this is the two of them standing side by side in their idle pose, which means they are balancing weight on one of their hips, cocking it to the side. Astarion's idle pose also has him lifting his chin considerably, which makes him look a little taller. These both affect the measurement slightly but bear with me. I have also made an estimation as to where Astarion's skull would actually begin in relation to the bouffant of his hair)
So what this immediately tells me is that Halsin cannot be only 6ft - he stands significantly taller than an individual who is allegedly between 5'9" and 5'11"
A few more for good measure:
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(The left bottom image is Astarion standing straighter with Halsin still bent at the knee - I have also noted that Halsin's left shoulder slopes lower than his right when standing idly)
So it's evident, by visual average, Astarion stands pretty consistently at about Halsin's shoulder. The only times they don't stand at this same relation in height difference is in character sheet screens (and level up screens by extension):
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Which is what I meant by a little dodgy in visual base, so for the sake of this we'll keep outside of menus.
The average height between the shoulder and the top of a head is approximately 1 ft (with of course variations of neck length and head size in between, but let's stick with average for ease)
THEREFORE - if it looks to be that Astarion stands pretty consistently at the height of Halsin's shoulder, give or take an inch or two, Halsin is approximately about a foot taller than he is. And if Halsin is about a foot taller than he is, and Astarion's canonical height sits somewhere in the range of 5'9" - 5'11", that leads to reason that Halsin stands at somewhere in the range of 6'9" - 6'11".
(The other source of this conclusion is that I feel it in my heart that Halsin is pushing 7ft because I reason his height would need to be significantly above average for everyone to make a comment on it)
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Alecto the Ninth News
Part One
Alright friends. We are all chomping at the bit for any Alecto news at all. So here is what I've compiled from interviews, podcasts and AMAs. Sources are linked and screenshots have alt. text.
I've also included a little commentary or speculation on some points but ultimately that's not the focus of this collection.
Under the cut because I feel like it's going to get long.
So many screenshots, it turns out I'll have to split it into 3 posts.
If you enjoy this post please reblog so more people can see it!
Jump to part ■ Two of the post
Jump to part ■ Three of the post
I'm making this post on mobile, so forgive any wonkiness. Also tumblr ate this post once already *screams into the void*
• The book starts with Harrow in Hell. A reference to the Harrowing of Hell. Based on the presence of a porn mag I'd guess it's her own little river bubble inside Alecto but still just speculation.
Source: Tamsyn reads to us! Video with written description
• There is a wedding of some sort. Possibly other excuses to dress up the characters in formal ware. Some people have expressed concern that this was referencing the N- and C- wedding in Nona, but nope. We have confirmation that it is in book 4.
Source: Twitter
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The next series of screenshots are all from the same tor.com interview: TM on Lyctorhood and Genderfuckery.
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• This first one again confirms allusions to the harrowing of hell/ the decent of Christ. For those out of the loop the tldr:
The harrowing of hell is an Old English and Middle English term referring to the period of time between the Crucifixion of Jesus and his resurrection. In triumphant descent, Christ brought salvation to the souls held captive there since the beginning of the world.
A lot of speculation has gone on around about Harrow and her role in freeing the souls trapped in the river/reviving the river from whatever is poisoning it. [ *cough*JOD*cough*].
Also another reference towards formal outfits for the cast. So at least the wedding if not multiple formal functions.
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• The question of Harrow and Gideon's souls will continue into Alecto. Looking forward to info on how enmeshed they've become and/or if they can be separated.
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• I mean this quote is infamous by now. Which of our faves is it in reference to? All of them?
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•I feel like we haven't seen enough about the differences between rebirth [a la Paul and Nona] vs Resurrection [Gideon/Harrow?! Someone else?] So while not a direct promise of anything in Alecto, I feel like the implication is there.
•The next two screenshots are about the Alecto cover, which is complete[the first from the above interview:]
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•and the second is from an AMA from Aug. 5 2020
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• The cover is definitely done since she was talking about it in 2020 and reaffirmed right before Nona’s release. I feel like they are waiting until they have a better idea of a publishing date before release. Maybe we'll get news in Q4 after the Nona paperback release and excitement dies down?
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• From the same 2020 AMA. As this is pre-Nona, it could be possible that the heist mentioned deals with Gideon's body [either the Houses heisting it from BOE which happened off screen or the heist of Gideon's body from the barracks]. But I included it just in case that isn't what is being referenced.
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• Same 2020 AMA: Again this could be covered in Nona as being what the John chapters were about, but also maybe not.
Source: TazMuir tumblr post from April 2020
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• Another infamous quote at this point. Definitely feels like this is about the 'Third Most Toxic Polycule' of Harrow/Gideon/Ianthe and maybe Alecto is in this loop as well. With all the references to weddings and relationships I'm wondering who out of these four is marrying who...[maybe it's someone totally different, but my money is on someone in this situation]
Click to see part two!
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the-final-sif · 11 months
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I'm seeing people in the notes saying that Fit apologized, but I cant' find a source on that. Do you know if he did or not?
The clip that I have seen is not an apology. It's an attempt at an excuse, and one that doesn't even make sense. Here's the clip I've seen,
"So, um, apparently, on one of the previous streams, so, um remember the trib- uh, the mobs with the masks? I guess some people were upset by that. And I said something in like the previous stream that I remember from courage the cowardly dog when I was kid. So I just want you to know that it was a cartoon reference. I didn't mean any ill intent by it. You know what I'm saying. I'm not that kind of person. It was just a courage the cowardly dog reference. So I hope nobody felt uncomfortable from that."
I haven't seen if there's something specific that's he's claiming he was referencing, but the best guess I've seen is that from the intro there's a character that yells "ooga boga boga" while trying to scare courage.
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Now, first and foremost, let's be clear, what FitMC said isn't an apology regardless of whether or not he was referencing courage the cowardly dog. He never said that he was sorry, or even that what he did was wrong and that he wouldn't do it again. He didn't acknowledge that it was racist at all. He made an excuse for himself. Regardless of what he was referencing, what he said was racist, gross, and he needs to apologize for it.
Now, that being said, his excuse doesn't even make sense. In the intro above, the character is yelling "ooga boga boga" to try to scare Courage. Much like how someone would yell "boo!". That's not what FitMC did at all. I'll add the original clip again for context.
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(If the video isn't working, then to sum it up, the mob is making babble sounds, and Fit starts replying to it saying "ounga bunga, (see/si), yes, onga bunga" in a calm tone, pretending to talk to them, and then "see, I'm speaking their language, they've accepted me as part of the tribe." followed again by "onga bonga" while Bad doesn't acknowledge what he's saying. Bad then asks about the mobs spawn limits and walks past the mob, the clip ends.)
Fit isn't trying to scare someone. He's explicitly using "onga bunga" as a stand in for the mob's language. He literally fucking said that was what he was doing. His excuse also manages to completely ignore that he literally used the term "they've accepted me as part of the tribe". He knew what he was doing, and he's trying to pretend now that he didn't do it rather than take accountability for his actions like an adult.
So no, unless there's another clip out there, FitMC has not apologized for his actions. He hasn't even acknowledged that it was racist and that he shouldn't have said it. He made the claim that he was just referencing a cartoon, and that he hoped nobody was uncomfortable with him being incredibly racist towards native folks. Which isn't acceptable, it's not an apology, and native folk deserve so much fucking better than this bullshit.
At this point, given his failure to take responsibility for his actions, I would encourage people to start putting pressure on the QSMP to do something about this.
Possible options include:
Sending messages to Fit directly, pointing out that the did not actually apologize and that his actions were very racist towards native folk. Don't send threats or harassment, but be clear that his actions were unacceptable, that he needs to actually apologize for them. Not just make an excuse.
If Fit refuses to apologize or there's no acknowledgement, then the escalation would be putting public pressure on Quackity to remove him from the server based on his actions. Filling up FitMC/QSMP fanart tags on twitter with blacked out or patterned images, with descriptions demanding acknowledgement/change is going to probably be the strongest method for forcing content creators to pay attention.
Do NOT post gore/animal abuse/untagged mature images/etc, send harassment, send threats or anything of the sort. This is not an excuse to be cruel to other people. The goal here is for the racism at hand to be acknowledged, apologized for, and not repeated in the future. That is the goal.
I'll update this post if I can find any evidence of an actual apology or change.
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guess-that-ship · 7 months
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Guess That Ship Tournament S6: Submission Closed
The concept: You describe your ship* to me, I pick out the submissions which I find most compelling and pit them against each other without revealing who they are, people vote on them, and their identities gets revealed once they're eliminated.
Submission Guidelines
*For the purpose of this tournament, relationships do not have to be romantic in nature. I'm sometimes going to use "ship" as a shorthand, just know I mean "relationships" in general.
Relationship can be between any number of characters.
Real people are accepted if they've been dead for more than 100 years.
Roleplay characters are accepted as long as the description only pertains to the characters and not the players.
OCs are accepted.
One submission per person. (I cannot enforce this on google form without forcing you to log in. So just be champs and respect this rule.)
Summary Guidelines
Here's the selection process: Me or another judge is going to read through the list of descriptions submitted without looking at their names, we're gonna pick the most compelling submissions, then we check the name to make sure there's no repeats.
Keep it concise. Some preference will be given to shorter entries during this round of selection.
Previous submissions for reference.
Descriptions should be based on canon, not headcanon. (Eg. You can say "they love each other" instead of "they're lovers" if their romantic nature is debatable.)
Use canonical pronouns.
Avoid identifying information or setting specific giveaways. (ie. Ninja village, space necromancers.)
The more popular your ship is the more vague the description should be.
Exclusions
Ships which were previously selected will no longer be accepted. You don't have to go through the whole list, just hit ctrl+f and search for your characters' names before you write a submission.
I will also not be including any submission from Harry Potter, sorry.
Notes
I will not vet the ships/pairings for problematic content.
If you participate in this tournament, know that you run the risk of unintentionally voting for your nOTP. The mod does not take any responsibility for any distress that may cause you.
I'm currently running @bestadaptationtournament, I believe I should be able to manage 2 at the same time... Buuuut it might mean this tournament will start a bit later and there might be some gaps between rounds.
Submit your nominations here. Submission will open for 48 hours, until September 3rd, 7PM EST.
I'd appreciate it if you can reblog this post, especially if you've never done so in the past. I'm hoping to get some new eyes for this round.
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skekdris · 3 months
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The Visitor - Behind the Scenes
"The Visitor" is my first big story of mine that saw the light of day. In this post, I'll be explaining my thought process behind why and how I made it. In a future post, I'll be explaining my Arhulian species, and my character Niadris in more detail. But for now, I'll be on to explaining my creative process. Firstly, a few months ago I got back into tumblr after finding the blogs of @chocodile and @kwillow. Their characters, their art, their stories. They moved me, they inspired me! Drawing was never my strong point, (I had to enlist @aryeonos to graciously sketch my species reference for me <3) but descriptive writing is something I can do! So through that, it was the avenue I expressed my creation. That said; Ary being my editor and proof reader really helped me achieve a level of polish I don't think I could have accomplished on my own. <3 The Amaranthine characters are so rich and vibrant, I just wanted to write for them. Their personalities just seemed really fun to write for, as well as gave me a clear picture of how each character would behave in a story. A solid baseline for my weirdo badger-pede to contrast with. So I poured over Kwillow's and Chocodile's art pages for information about the characters and the setting. I wanted to respect the lore and setting as best I can; as well as the fact, the more information I had, the easier it would be to write.
Feelin' A Bit Drafty In Here
In a very early pre-draft version of the story (where I was still ideating over it), I thought I would try to tell the story from Niadris' perspective, but Aryeonos felt it would ruin a lot of the mystery and suspense surrounding Niadris, as well as deprive me of character interaction moments for the rest of the cast. So I redid the entire tone and course of the story to focus on the Rising dawn quartet, (sans snoozing bunny) with Niadris being the add - an apt decision since the cast literally considers them an intruder! In the new story format, I thought about Theo being so nerve wracked by Niadris that he would try to poison them, only for it not to work, and for Niadris to then reveal their life-sensing ability to Theo and tell him that they are not mad because always knew where he stood as a veiled threat. The story would have had a more adversarial tone; but then after doing some more lore spelunking, I learned that Theo prefers to handle confrontation openly and honestly as opposed to taking the scoundrel's way out.
So after learning that wasn't a very gentlemanly move, I decided to shift gears and redo the story (again) to what you see today. After that, I looked up the other characters for pertinent lore and information about them. I was already pretty familiar with Hyden, and Theo was the first character I discovered since I'm a diehard rat/skaven fan and always combing the internet for rat characters!
Then came to Alex and Ridge. After having my "cast" in hand, I figured out what to do with them. In the current iteration of the story, I wanted Niadris being self-conscious of their frightening appearance (they've certainly been screamed and shot at enough) and opt to meet the cast in a way that does not end in violence. Hence the Arhulian observing the cast for a long time and then making their carefully planned move. Likewise, first impressions are very important, and Niadris trying to approach the situation in a delicate manner (whether or not it worked) was one of my central goals in depicting them, and Arhulians as a whole. They are far from mindless brutes... Switching back to the the Amaran quartet, they are not my characters obviously - I'm just writing for them - so I tried to make educated guesses on how'd they react based on the information I had at hand. So keep in mind these are my personal head cannons of these characters!
Character Dynamics
Hyden - Due to the way the story was structured, he was not utilized very much. Which, is a shame on one hand, but on the other, it leaves my options open for how he would react in a future story. He could be just as lost as the rest of the cast, then shift to be deeply fascinated by the unnatural being that is Niadris. Treating them like magic buddyTM Ambroys 2.0. (Though he may find it much more difficult sink his roots into Niadris, as they are far sharper, and not blinded by idolism like Theo.) Or, alternatively, Hyden being a time displaced scholar could know something about Arhulians the present day cast does not, and is trouser-browningly terrified. But that is as much as I'll reveal for now. We'll see what way the coin falls. :) Theo - Theopolis North was the most fun to write for. Poor little Rat man pinballed through many different emotions across the story. Firstly, fear. Secondly, he's even more unnerved by the fact Niadris can go toe-to-toe in his smartassery which means it's intelligent. And that's extra dangerous in his eyes. I thought about writing Theo being even meaner and more hostile, but I decided Theo has a few reasons to keep himself reeled in. 1) Theo - though a poorly adjusted meanie - has enough sense to know that trying to stress-test this thing's patience would not go in his favor if the matter escalated. Especially with a thing that could throw him across a room or eat him alive. Unmetaphorically. Best to let a sleeping dragon lie so to speak. 2) I've noted that Theo appears to be a dire misanthrope, so a thought occurred to me that Niadris is just so alien they just end up in a loophole of sorts. And I decided that is a funny dynamic, and I'm going to roll with that. :) 2.5) Theo's aggression seems to be heavily rooted in his own insecurities. Niadris is somewhere between socially illiterate to too logically minded to care. So in a way, from theo's perspective; that's big wall that isn't there for him. 3) As much as it agonizes him to admit, the alternative is telling this thing to sod off, resulting in them just roaming about unaccounted for entirely. At least this way, he can keep an eye on them... 4) Granted, he does not want to admit it outright and 'encourage' them, Theo is personally intrigued by Niadris. Although he hasn't quite put it together it yet; Arhulians are intelligent, sentient, beings that definitively exist outside of "ascension". The implications would be defining to say the least. Theo's name would go down in the books for sure... And lastly, this being gives him a sense of deja vu he tries not to think too closely about. Henceforth, I laid down the roots of what may be the beginning of a very odd "friendship" as hinted at in the closing paragraphs of the story.
Alex - From the lore I got on her, she jumped out to me as the most rational and calm-minded of the group. She's a cool, collected soldier. Her perception is sharp (and unlike Theo, it's not calibrated in entirely the wrong direction via paranoia). Her nature as a sniper means it's natural for her to sit back, absorb information, and think about a decision before making it. Because of this, it felt natural that she'd fall into the role of "team mom" because she's the most level-headed and surprisingly enough, the most socially adjusted of the group. Especially since her competition is: 1) Hyden; a washed up noble that doesn't know what century he's living in - whose social resume is bossing around servants and bullshitting noble asses.
2) Theo; a misanthropic, paranoid, bulgy-eyed weirdo that's a reclusive shut in. 3) Ridge; Likely the best of the three. But if I remember the lore right, it's heavily implied that Ridge was in jail for some time, so I'd wager that has not done his social skills any favors. So with that in mind, Alex is the glue desperately trying to keep (the now) quintet from unraveling.
Ridge - Of the four characters here, Ridge has the least information available that I could find, so a lot of his character is implied from his surface level details, like him being big and brawny, that he had spent time in jail, and is at the very least in a non-hostile relationship with Alex. With all that said, I guesstimate he has the least amount of emotional baggage and personality extremes, so I felt that Ridge would be the best fit for a layman character. Niadris - Beyond what I already mention here, I'd rather keep their inner workings hidden, as they are both a mysterious, and a still developing (both in-universe and in a meta sense) character...
What's Next?
Without giving away too much, the logical path forward to the story is that Niadris is playing it safe as they have never been around multiple people for an extended period of time before. So they take on a passive role to learn and observe the... odd group dynamic the rising dawn quartet have. There will be a great deal of funny character moments and learning experiences for all involved! Over time, Niadris will start to make their own waves as they get accustomed to the group, and begin manifesting their own wants once they feel comfortable exerting their own social pressure. Likewise, everyone is wary of the big, scary Arhulian. But on the other hand, their value as an asset is undeniable! And they would be a pretty definitive tie-breaker should a schism arise... Various parties will likely be setting plans into motion to try and vie for Niadris's loyalty now that this wild card has scuttled their way into the group. With the groundwork of Niadris' and the Arhulians' introduction laid, I have to spend some time thinking about the path forward; as this is the point where things can really diverge, so I must decide what direction the story is going to head in. So alas, I don't really have an ETA in mind for the next chapter of this fan-story.
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boatslut · 6 months
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Hey all! I'm opening commissions bc I am... uh, currently unemployed with no source of income and I Need Cash Now! I don't currently know how many of these I'll take atm, probably depends on what kinds and how many, but we'll see!
Will Draw:
Human / Furry / Monster / Sonic characters & OC I guess.
Light to Moderate Gore
Body Horror (pls 🥺)
Shipping Art
Maybe Open to Discussion; Probably Will Cost Extra:
NSFW/Fetish
Robots/Mechs
Elaborate/Heavy Detail Designs
Reference Sheets
Shading
Art Based Off Descriptions
Backgrounds
Won't Draw:
Heavy Gore
Real People
Hateful/Bigoted shit
Feel free to DM/ask me here or get in touch via my Ko-Fi if you're interested in a commission! I've got more art examples in my art tag!
Reblogging is always appreciated! 🙇‍♂️
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sillycoffeewizard · 3 months
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Hi everyone, and this is my post with theories and headcanons about John Titor because I love her so much and she is my daughter!! <3
❗The theories and headcanons were created with the help of my wife, who I told everything I know about this character so far (my knowledge may be incomplete). These are just our thoughts and guesses. We may be wrong on some points, sorry!!! But we have been doing a little research with John Titor's story and her voice lines in the game, and today I want to share it
John Titor's diary
In her diary entries, John Titor notes the weather on a particular day. e.g.: June 16, rain; January 29, snow, and so on. perhaps this helps her remember events better
She describes war and chaos in the world. There could be several possibilities here:
She has experienced violence in the past (abuse, abusive behavior, etc.), which traumatized her, and the war is a veiled description of her experience. This is how she conveys her feelings and perception of the world around her;
There was a war at the time (the diary does not give the year), she was a victim of warfare and violence (she was taken prisoner, sent to a concentration camp and had horrible things done to her). She kept a diary at the time or wrote about past events;
You probably know the story of John Titor, who called himself a time traveler. On a forum dedicated to creepypasta he wrote "predictions of the future", detailing events that he said might happen. Maybe John Titor (the character) was fascinated by this story and just made it all up, based on what the real John Titor predicted, because her personality was built on this mysterious person. Or...John Titor (the character) calls herself a time traveler for a reason. Maybe she really is one, and in diary she describes an event from her time (war, cancellation of the Olympics, chaos in the world) while predicting the future. These are the two reasons she has that name in the game
Fan fact: her badge looks a lot like the symbol of the existing "John Titor Foundation" that published a book about the "time traveler" that included his forum entries
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1. Reverse: 1999 wiki, 2. Wikipedia
John Titor's voice lines
I was using other people's translation of her hexadecimal code phrases into words. I'm also making assumptions based on the theories i've previously described
Under "to the future" she says "crazy like me.". According to previous assumptions about her diary entries, it can be said that she is traumatized by her experiences of violence or war. she may have depression and PTSD, and this phrase is her idea of the future, which is typical of people with mental disorders;
Under "hobby" she says "Corvette 1966 black". According to Google, that's the make of the car. Why is she talking about it? Let's look at "bond: night", her phrase is "wanna go on a drive". I think these phrases are related. Maybe she doesn't sleep at night (she has bruises under her eyes) and it's at night that she can spend time doing her hobby: she's literally driving a car. Or it's in her imagination and she's just reflecting in this time;
In the "hat and hair" column she says "hey don't touch me". She may have experienced violence, it could have been bullying by someone or it could have happened during the war she wrote about in the diary. In any case, she is not tactile at all as a result of the traumatic events, she hates to be touched and doesn't let anyone touch her. You can also see that her hair is cut unevenly, which could also be due to the traumatic events;
Under "clothing and torso" she says "a soldier's physique". This description could mean that she witnessed or participated in warfare and/or, again, experienced violence. Either way, she notes her resilience. She was able to endure and survive horrific events as if she were a soldier. Or is this another reference to "time traveler" John Titor, who called himself a soldier
Why does John Titor only interact with everyone using hex code?
Given the theory that she is indeed a time traveler, we can make the assumption that code is the "language of the future," a way of interacting between people whose lives are entirely built on and dependent on technology;
Perhaps because of the traumatic events I wrote about earlier, John Titor no longer wants to associate herself with people in any way, to be like them, to speak human language. She decided to completely restructure her personality and become something like a mechanical machine
That's it for now! I hope this post is enjoyed by the likes of theory and headcanon fans in this fandom, I really tried hard to make it as good as possible. Again, I don't consider everything described above to be canon, it's just speculation and conjecture. I wanted to share my thoughts, and I'm proud of it because I love John Titor!! Also my knowledge may be incomplete and my views may differ. I welcome constructive criticism and reasoning <3
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kookydoodleky · 2 months
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I’m curious; What are Pomni, Ragatha, and Jax based off? Ragatha looks like Mudusa so I’m guessing there.. but what are Pomni and Jax based off? Pomni looks like a horse with a long tail and Jax looks similar to those vampire deer.. (sorry it’s long, but I’m curious abt ur AU!)
In fact, in the description of the designs I make reference to what they are but I can clarify a bit about it.
In this au all the characters refer to different mythological creatures.
(because I'm obsessed with those things)
Pomni is a unicorn with some satyr features.
Ragatha is a Lamia with parts of Medusa
And Jax is a jackalope
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pseudo-hero · 5 months
Note
Conner Kent basically is a child from (medical) rape. Not calling him Clark's child is basically the mentally healthiest way to cope with this for everyone involved.
Note #1: I first want to apologize for taking this long to respond, though it's not the only time that's happened and probably won't be the last. I'm still surprised that this particular blog even got an "ask", to be honest! That being said:
WARNING: This post is about—among other things—sexual assault, properly defining/utilizing the terms and has a few violent descriptions within it. Some possibly unpopular and controversial opinions are below. Absolutely no harm or insult to any person or group was intended while I typed this out (including to the "asker"). I hope any possible readers will make it to the end before judging. I've typed this up for anybody, with no one in particular in mind, so 'you' therefore, refers to anyone as well as what's said in the "ask". This gets into and brings up a lot different subjects and ideas in regards to the Kal-Kon family relationship (both in-universe ones and meta ones), so apologies to the above anonymous user if it ever seems like I'm going off on a tangent; although I like to think all of this was relevant to the "ask" in some way.
As always, I'll try to be open-minded to differing opinions/information and I hope any possible errors made can be forgiven. This is also going to be really, REALLY L--O--N--G because I have a hard time giving short, straight-to-the-point responses for anything, I guess. Especially topics that have wide-reaching implications. I switch between character names a lot (and other quirks), may get a little repetitive (but I will try to make new points each time) and I also may at times be harsh on Clark here (but it's arguably DC Comics and their partners that are truly at fault, not him).
Note #2: I've always wanted to make a post about why Clark's treatment of Conner throughout the years has been questionable writing at best and detrimental to Clark's character at worst [as part of a not-yet-completed series on what's destroying Superman's character and legacy these days, in fact] but maybe this will end up being that post [or they'll just share many points/arguments in common].
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Sorry, but I'm not playing that game. Only rape is rape. You comparing (and perhaps twisting) Conner Kent's/Kon-El's creation to being that of a "child from (medical) rape"—which, mind you, I can't help but be reminded of "rape baby" (one of the names unfortunately often used on such victims-by-proxy for the wrong reasons) when I read it—is not only, to me, an insult to any version of the character's backstory and the hardship they've gone through, but to those who have actually experienced the trauma of rape or other forms of sexual assault (or being conceived from any such act).
While I understand why some interpret Kon's creation that way/where the belief comes from, I feel that's only one possible interpretation and one that unfortunately—on top of promoting offensive and less-than-rational conclusions—might actually be missing the point about the real reason(s) Kon got and still gets treated the way he does.
First off, let's get down to how every version of Kon was created before getting into the details of the origin of one or another, and proving how none of them sprouted from rape: Kon is, put simply, a genetically engineered progeny; a form of "test tube baby" (not meant to be disparaging). He was made in an undoubtedly sterile (purposefully loaded word) lab from the ideas, research-based input and experimentation of dozens of scientists and geniuses, his human parent typically included. (Note how I didn't name a human parent? I'll get to that.) After many failed attempts, there was a success, first dubbed Experiment 13.
There was no warmth or genuine intimacy involved in E13's creation, just as is the case with 95% to 100% of sexual assaults (I'm trying not to assume how it went for all victims). However, there was also no physical contact, beyond perhaps the extraction/finding and adding together of DNA-type substances. (You know, what with every version of Kon being treated solely as science experiments in their early days and all.) Without physical contact, specifically/particularly/especially of the sexual variety, already the case for Superman being "raped" begins to fall apart and we can get closer to what fandom/societal problem is really behind this idea being pushed and what truth is continually missed/hidden due to said problem acting as a cover.
Continuing from before: So, as we all know, almost every version of Kon-El/Conner Kent get's his DNA from a male kryptonian progenitor (always Kal-El/Clark Kent unless stated otherwise) together with the also-male human progenitor's, and rarely anywhere else. These days most versions of Conner seem to be the half-human genetic child of Lex Luthor and Superman, and it's been like that for a while. In the beginning however, he was solely a clone of Superman before it was later decided that he was actually an altered clone of some now-forgotten man named Paul Westfield and that he only mimicked Superman's powers. They later changed it up again ("retconned" it) to the Lex Luthor/Superman combination origin(s) for the 2000's version of him, but in doing so, made it clear in BIG, bright letters that Kon is not a "clone" anymore.
Unless—we're calling him a binary clone (what we all are).
That's right, a binary clone is one of many words for child. It's just a specific type of child/progeny. Here's another definition example, with the same description. I would hope no one needs to see the definition for child, too, but you never know. So, notice how so many of the definitions for child match up with what Kon is? What are the people that argue that Superboy is not Superman's—or that he's neither Clark's nor Lex's child—really trying to say or inadvertently saying, I wonder? That Kon is no one's child? That he isn't even a child (unless someone wants him)?? Good luck using that logic with real life "test tube children" (in-vitro children, if we want to be clinical), foster children and adoptees. Bet they'll really appreciate the insensitivity.
As for his age? Why does that matter? At his oldest, he's an upper teen, so still an impressionable minor. And who ever said you needed to pop up in someone's life as a perfect, little chubby cherub to be their child? Who said your parents needed to accept you/get the chance to raise you, for you to be directly descended from them? If a parent dies before a child is born (and stays dead), is the child not their child anymore? Even if someone meets their kid—that may appear to others, to have been created when the parent was a teenager—when the youngling is already a teenager him/herself now, that's still their child, isn't it? Look at all the questions that we are forced to ask when certain fans try and come up with arbitrary definitions, explanations and excuses (or ignore preexisting ones) for what makes a child a child.
As far as I can see, Superman is not delusional nor prone to denialism and isn't known for letting his emotions (or what some believe his emotions are or should be) get the best of him. At least, he's not supposed to be. Some writers in the past have had different ideas on that. In my opinion, they often ruin things for a large amount of us though, seeing as engaging in poor, contradictory behavior will never automatically = a character being more complex. It's more likely that the character will just come across as very petty, selfish, obnoxious or callous, things Superman generally should not be; maybe even should never be.
All that is to say that the need to pretend Kon is anything but Clark's (and Lex's) child in-universe and based on real-life standards, has nothing to do with authentic science or logic and at times doesn't even involve an agreed on continuity. You (the "asker") may already realize this (since you mentioned mental health and coping in your "ask") but many others don't seem to yet. In fact, the exact science isn't what matters, considering how the situation is fictional and therefore mostly pseudoscience anyway.
And even if it wasn't fictional, consider that animal reproduction is technically considered sexual whether two organisms had sex/copulated or not because of the act of the male and female gametes (sex cells) coming together. Based on that, can or can't Kon be considered just another typical mammal (mammal-alien hybrid?) made through a form of sexual reproduction, even if he wasn't made from the combining of male cells and female cells (typically not used in his case) nor (most likely) any sexual cells at all? Does it even make a difference in regards to his parentage? In reality, it actually doesn't and that question is only a pedantic-semantics one. All such questions are.
What actually matters here is the basics. Cells/DNA from these two beings were melded together to make another being. No intercourse was needed or involved. A large amount of people would still consider that as a child being made, with or without the added story context. (Many mythologies have had similar events happen in them, fwiw.) So why shouldn't our honest, selfless and compassionate Superman view it that way? Where is the extensive evidence that this is solely about Clark and his family's feelings anyway, especially in the present day? I'm sure that may be the excuse some writers hide behind, but let's be real here.
Clark, in multiple continuities, has had no problem giving Kon a name (twice, if you count Conner Kent too), encouraging him to have a secret identity like Clark, so he also gets to live his life outside of being a hero, has occasionally been seen spending time with Kon by choice, mentoring him, fighting alongside him, sending Kon to the boy's grandparents for raising in the calm, warm town of Smallville (where Clark himself was raised), enrolling him in school in that same town, literally considering him family...but he won't dare go as far as to call him son??
Now, don't get me wrong. Do I believe Superman knew what was going on just before and during Superboy's artificial development? No. He never knows until after Superboy is already out in the world flying around. Does that make it non-consensual and somewhat or very violative to him? Of course. But besides these adjectives/descriptors and (if you want to count it) the springing of a child from the experiments, the situation actually—again, I say—has little in common with rape.
(POSSIBLY VERY TRIGGERING LANGUAGE FOUND BELOW. If you can, pay special attention to what words I put emphasis on.)
Rape can be and is many awful things. The severity of the act can range from little to no bodily injury but major emotional/psychological harm from awareness of the unwanted/forced sexual contact you were put through, to very extreme bodily and mental harm. It can cause tearing, often-heavy bleeding and infection in any targeted orifice (vagina, anus, mouth and/or throat) that can take months to heal from or that the person never fully recovers from. It can make it painful to move and do certain positions with the body. For specifically the female reproductive system, it can lead to damage that's so horrible that a woman can no longer reproduce and so is left infertile. Or she can be left with a pregnancy that's taken root in her own body that she of course was not planning—since it was forced into her—and one she often won't feel like she can handle birthing. There's also always a chance that she could die during the months before the labor begins, if not during the birth itself.
In the case of one form of medical rape (which again, I don't believe Clark was put through, unless you're talking about a different definition for it), it's rape because the victim gets impregnated by semen that they did not agree to have used on them. So it's rape by deception, if not also due to the disturbingly forceful nature that 'fertility treatment' often comes with.
Can someone tell me what about any of that, purposefully emphasized words and all, is the same as how Kon was created? Am I really supposed to believe that Superboy's surprise creation through indirect means, is equivalent to the above in any way for any person involved? In the early years of the character's creation, it was implied or outright stated that Superboy got his Superman DNA from scientists—I believe CADMUS—stealing Clark's presumed-dead body and taking a bit from it (Kon was originally supposed to replace Clark, but not destroy him). What did they get? Maybe a hair? A skin cell from one of his arms? I'm not sure.
However, this was in the early years and the most violative it ever got. (Actually, I don't recall that version of Superman being all that shaken up over the matter compared to how some seem to think every version has been regarding Kon's creation, even though that one probably had some of the biggest reasons to be; he even reached out to Superboy first, in fact. Only to be rejected by him.) It also wasn't, and is still, not rape. It's overall more comparable to someone stealing his/her ex's or one night stand's condom off their body or from the trash to cause a pregnancy. A horrendous deed—but not rape.
I'm stating all this because your claim is built on a false premise. One that likely comes from an over-reliance on and desire for extreme comparisons/equivalencies. One that appears to be a very common opinion in the fandom, but which is still misguided. It's imperative that we try not use the word rape (or related words) to seriously describe any other different action just because we disapprove of it. It's superbly harmful and frankly, disingenuous.
Are you calling the situation rape because you truly feel that this is what happened or because it's the worst word you could think of to try to make people feel even more horrified than they may already feel about the situation, and to shut down conversation on Clark's strange behavior toward and relationship with, Conner? Is it that you do realize that sexual assault is a severe issue and definitely no laughing matter, so you use mention of it so flippantly to emphasize your point, not realizing that this is only contributing to the problem?
I often wonder if a huge reason for this is because many nowadays are, thankfully, far more knowledgable of the importance of consent, but to the unfortunate extent that they separate it from the actual acts that make sexual assault, well, sexual assault. Again, lack of consent by itself is not what makes something rape. There has to at the least be forced penetration involved, too and arguably blatant sexual intention.
Likewise: Stealing someone's wallet or squeezing all the money out of their bank account without their knowing, is not "financial rape". Beating someone to a pulp and leaving them there injured is not "punching rape". Wiping someone's mind of memories is not, technically, "mind rape" (despite how popular that term is now). Leaving a baby or puppy on someone's doorstep and hoping/expecting that the owner of the home will sacrifice their time to raise them, is not "nurture rape" (or "nurture coercion" for that matter). You know why all the previous is true? Because, again, only rape is rape!
Languages are always changing, adapting, sometimes shrinking but also expanding. We often add definitions to words that may not have been implied before and use metaphors and other figurative speak to make points. However, words have those original definitions for a reason and especially in the case of crime and morality, it is not wise to dilute the meanings of words for your personal opinions/arguments/headcanons. That is not only hurtful but possibly dangerous.
If you feel that this or that version of Clark is right to be weirded out by Conner for being created 'unnaturally' (based on average, modern human POV), just say so. If you feel some version(s) of Clark is right to be disgusted by Conner for being made without his knowledge or ability to stop it (presumed dead or alive), just say so. If you feel modern versions of Clark are in the right to reject Kon solely because of who the human parent typically is, i.e. Lex Luthor (since we all know that connection and Lex's intentions when creating Kon must somewhat play an enormous factor in some people's view of Kon's existence), just say so.
If you, for similar reasons, despise every version of Lex Luthor and believe he's an irredeemable monster (which I find understandable, even though I personally do like the character) and therefore that everything connected to him is tainted too, just say so. If you are so preoccupied with comparing Damian Wayne's (usual/modern/recent/current?) conception origin to Kon's own, to the point of only noticing possible similarities and wanting to claim the situations are exactly the same, despite the obvious differences (and despite how that makes Superman/Clark negatively appear but in comparison to Batman/Bruce this time who accepts his child, regardless of the actual sexual assault that took place to create him), just say so.
If you just have a certain set of characteristics in mind for Superman or think it should be anything goes if it entertains you, as the rule of thumb for Superman writing, then please, just say so. That way people with a different opinion than you will know what worldview they're really arguing with when you debate. You do not need to use a word (rape) with an already established definition that's important enough to be referenced in laws the world over, to emphasize your point. Your argument should be able to stand on its own without doing so.
It wouldn't surprise me if one of the biggest contributors to modern people's current view of Clark and Conner's relationship is due to largely popular, dramatic media like the animated series Young Justice. The show had a take on them that was based on certain older-but-still-modern comic interactions with the more modern look/personality for Kon and it was considered by many to be realistic/relatable in regards to Superman's viscerally perturbed reactions toward and avoidance of Kon. However, some others saw it for what it also was: An excuse to seep out as much angst as possible to make us feel for Kon, but at the expense of Superman's characterization.
Compare their relationship here to the one they had in the DC Animated Movie Universe film, Reign of the Supermen (a sequel to The Death of Superman movie from the same universe; both are based on the 90's Bronze Age comic(s) that I've mentioned already). It was Lex in that movie that was being unquestionably vile toward Kon. As you might expect! And it was Clark who, only after knowing Kon for a short period—probably 20 minutes at most in-movie and a few days in their world—showed the poor mentally-abused child compassion and immediately took him under his bright red cape of hope and, as often happens these days, got help from Kon's grandparents in raising Kon. As you'd definitely expect! Although it wasn't exactly explicitly said in the movie whether he considers Conner his son or not, their relationship there was still handled infinitely better from the jump than was the case with alternate versions of their relationship. The reactions from these two men from different media that are supposed to be the same character, are like night and day! It's almost like they're not the same character (hint, hint)!
There was no unnecessary drama or hypocrisy on Clark's part in ROTSM (remember they'd both be seen as dangerous in the eyes of regular earthlings). Beyond a moment of eyebrow raising, and some possible annoyance or hesitance, Clark seems to grow accustomed to Kon's existence very quickly (after Lois already had, without his realizing!) and starts acting sensibly about it afterward (while still coming across as a warm but stern and outraged father; again, as you'd expect!) which I think was a good thing and arguably just as realistic as the reverse, with the added benefit of not making Clark look douchey, un-empathetic and unreasonably judgmental. We should be way past acts of actual!superdickery in this day and age, imho. Considering the universe he exists in, Clark should be ready to take on whatever is thrown his way, even a hormonal teenage "clone" of himself, no matter if they have a human parent or not, and even if Clark doesn't get along with that parent. Seriously, more writers need to remember that. The DC world is insane and anything could happen; so the characters ought to be mindful of that at all times.
Which leads me to ask: Why should Clark be extremely upset almost every single time Kon pops up anyway? Why does he have to be extremely upset at all? He didn't get a choice to thumb up or thumb down Kon's creation but beyond that, what was forced on him? As I noted earlier, he didn't get forcefully impregnated or even deceived. No one made him let Kon into his life either and Kon is a good kid anyway who wants to be the best superhero he can be and who's typically no worse than cocky. (Though some versions of Superman surprisingly need to be convinced/reminded of Kon's innocence.) Less honest people will try and dance around the elephant in the room, which is that they wouldn't think what was done with Clark's DNA was a big deal if Kon hadn't come from it. "Well, duh!" you might say. Duh indeed, because without Kon's existence, literally no argument can reasonably be made that Kal was harmed in anyway. (Unlike with physical attacks, which are obvious. The harm done to him would then, at most, be emotional/psychological but only if Clark acknowledges on some level what/who Conner is (his son!) but struggles to accept him/rejects him despite/because of it. Superman (and the fans that do the directly-above), should focus their ire on the true wrong-doers, not a victim. I mean really, Conner has only done wrong to Clark and his family/friends once, while brainwashed by somebody else!! (It was Lex Luthor, of course.)
This means that they know Kon is his own person with endless potential, who is vulnerable and always at risk of manipulation, who deserves sympathy regardless of how he was made and who just needs an outstretched hand from someone who cares and wants him to stay on the right path, despite where he came from. Which means they also know what it says about Superman for him to neglect Conner, but just accept it as "a blind spot" as opposed to calling it out as the horrible writing decision that it always is. Kon in the ROTSM movie is the biggest victim in that scenario and it's made clear there. In that movie, Superman didn't turn his back on or avoid Superboy at any point and dived right into a father-son relationship with him. Thank goodness.
I repeat: The parent in the movie that actively created him without the other parent's knowledge, treated him like fresh garbage, like a toy that doubled as a tool/weapon, like an object. The other parent on the other hand refused to do the same and instead did right by him and took him in. Kon's feelings and needs were acknowledged as they deserved to be. Clark was called dad by the boy and he more or less stood in his role that wasn't gonna change whether he wanted it to or not, nor whether he accepted it or not. A parent is a parent the moment they have a kid, even if they choose not to be there for them. Adoption is one way of becoming a parent that I admire (as long as no cruelty was committed for it to happen) and I'm happy for those happy to be adopted. However, mind you, Clark or The Kents raising Kon who is one of Clark's own bio kids, would be regular parenting/grand-parenting; not adoption or fostering.
He also did have a choice btw, when it came to that movie, as he always does and like everyone else has/would. He could have chosen to ignore/avoid Kon and left him to teach himself how to swim, but this is Superman we're talking about here and he, more than anyone, would ideally never behave that way to someone in need (least of all a child/his own child!). Even if other people in his place would unfortunately be unable to (which I understand and can sympathize with). Superboy did appear to be physically younger (if not emotionally) in ROTSM than he was in YJ, but my point still stands for both stories and related.
In fact, if memory serves right, (as briefly referenced earlier) the 90's version of Superman which the TDOSM and ROTSM movies are loosely based on somehow wasn't near as avoidant around or upset by the 90's Kon-El Superboy (Kon sure was annoyed by him though) as the character was in some later writers' stories, despite supposedly being of the same continuity and despite the fact that Superboy became a better person and hero as years passed. Which actually kinda adds to my point about how ridiculous this behavior/flaw from modern versions of Clark is. Funny. It also sort of reeks of higher-up interference to me... Almost like they needed an excuse to keep the two apart; very separated and in their own books with rarely any overlap, before eventually deciding to recurringly erase one of the characters from "canon" and/or their connection/closeness to the other more prominent character...
Which, finally, is what the reasoning for constantly excluding and distancing Kal-El from Kon-El really all comes down to. Seven things actually, which are all often/always connected: 1. Keeping tradition going which often causes 2. Plain old homophobia to win when it comes to writing decisions, but also usually leads to 3. Clois favoritism, both of which are due in part to 4. Fear of trying anything new and 5. Peeving off the fanbases within the fanbase, whose members all have their own version of Superman in mind (think about the YJ vs ROTSM example), which brings about 6. Laziness and simplicity for simplicity's sake and we can't forget 7. That probably more than anything else (and where the other seven stem from) there's the issue of THE FOCUS ON $$$ [profit, with as little effort and change put forward to gain it as possible, or in some cases too much effort used on the wrong thing(s)].
The need to always hold on, in some way, shape or form, to tradition is a tale as old as time and an obvious reason for Kon's constant alienation from Kal and the larger Superfamily.
I mean really, think about it. Although I focus a lot on how Conner is treated by DC and specifically Clark, he's not the only child from his life that Clark's failed to raise or be there for to the best of his ability. It's just the most glaringly obvious with him.
Every reappears-in-"canon" minor (so not imaginary story character) that pops up at Clark's doorstep gets the short end of the stick, often multiple times at different points. In fact, it's happened so many times now that it's becoming a fandom "joke" and is even—for me at least—starting to become an expected outcome on Clark's part. And guess who it began with?
That's right; Kara Zor-El aka Supergirl: Cousin of Kal-El/Superman.
In the earlier Silver Age comics, Superman got up to some very weird or borderline abusive acts that he often involved Supergirl in. From refusing to take her in and keeping others from adopting this innocent teenage orphan, to forcing her to play pretend as his love-interest (likely as a not-so-veiled excuse to kiss her on the lips), to admitting he actually wanted her in that way, but couldn't, solely because of Krypton's cousin marriage laws?? Supergirl admittedly came across at times like she had an unnatural attachment of her own to her cousin but all the same, she was far younger—even underaged by many standards—traumatized and in need of guidance, yet that version of Superman didn't notice or care and even took advantage of this fact.
The tradition has been, for a while, to have Superman treat/neglect the children in his care so horribly that any chance of them having something of a father figure-child type relationship or mentor-student relationship is nullified. In one of the most recent issues of this current run of Action Comics (2016), Superman has once again come across a child, no, two children in fact, and actually took them both in. This isn't the first time he's done that (Lor-Zod/Chris Kent ring a bell?) but knowing how every other attempt at parenting by main universe Clark has ended, I'm hoping and praying that his sweet, impressionable, ill-raised, adopted twins named Otho-Ra and Osul-Ra (girl and boy) aren't destined for tragedy. Or outside involvement that cuts their childhood short. Or somehow still getting rejected in the end after the fact because it's not convenient enough for Superman/Clark and Status Quo. Considering how cluttered the current Action Comics's Super-Family is starting to seem...it wouldn't surprise me one bit if any of these options happened to them in due time.
Now, the homophobia. Do I really need to explain this one? The closest we've ever gotten to a gay/bi main-universe (not alternate) Superman...WASN'T EVEN SUPERMAN. Not really. It was his son who I bet you the editors at DC wanted people to confuse for the other when it came to the news article titles. Perhaps as a sort of "test" to see how much they could get away with doing with the real deal. I don't say this to shade Jon, only to tell is as it appears. Clearly a large amount of the fanbase failed the test. So although we do get to have a bi-Jon now (And possibly a basically-bi-Kon? Bicon?) whether or not some people hate it, the backlash over that Superman's coming out (and maybe even the anger over his secret identity being revealed) is proof enough for DC that Clark literally cannot come out, even if he wants to. Decades of subtext be damned.
Clois is and always will be the favored partner for Superman by writers. There's nothing wrong with that imho. It truly is the quintessential superhero comic romance. The issue is that any deviation from this (even if just for a short amount of time) is often met with outrage from a huge (or just loud) portion of the fanbase, causing writers to have to find a way to backtrack, cutting back on creativity. Now it often seems they're scared to try anything genuinely new and fresh with Superman. Who could blame them? They have previous examples that prove what will happen if they do.
It should also be noted again that keeping characters as separated/distant as possible (in this case, Superfamily characters) allows for DC to have each of those characters to have a series of their own so more comics can be made and sold!!
I understand we all have a version of Superman in our heads that's "the correct one" but that's exactly why arguments about what's "right" or what could "work" for the character often go nowhere. It leads to the quality of stories being affected and the companies putting in less effort into creating, knowing that simple and typical is what's wanted anyway. It's like: Why even bother?
So to reiterate one more time: The #1 concern will always be about making as big a buck as possible through as little a means as necessary. If editors and co believe lack of change is the way to achieve that, then that's what they'll do. Them continuing into the present day to stop just short of acknowledging what Kon actually is to the Superfamily likely has very little to do with the usual excuses, and a whole lot to do with the aforementioned, with everything else leading back to it.
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suddenlyauntiemaya · 2 months
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Well, this is... Less unexpected than I probably should have been thinking, honestly? Uh. Hi?!
//Currently in a right ankle Walking Boot and left wrist ace bandage, alternating between rolling around in a wheelchair and using a cane to walk!
//This is self-insert Faller that fell from the real world into the pokemon world, and still references the real world. If this would be harmful for you, please don't proceed! I will not be using the unreaIity tag, as I have spoken with people and it's been determined it would do more harm than good in this case. Please don't feel bad about blocking my blogs if you need to, I understand.
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Pokecharms.com
//Not doing the mod mixup fyi, but don't mind interacting with those that are!
//rotomblr, pokemon irl, roleplay
Magic Anons off, Pelipper Mail on.
My name is Maya Knight. I used to be an anon that didn't use anon, but now it looks like I'm actually here. Getting used to this is gooooonna take a bit, so please be patient with me.
I'm an adult woman. She/Her pronouns, but I'm not really fussy about it. I will be slightly confused and not realize you're talking about me though lol.
I hate being called Miss and a Girl. I'm a Ms and I'm a Woman. I worked hard to make it this far, I'm claiming every one of those years, thanks.
Here's a picture I guess! Under the cut.
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//OOC
...I gave up lmao. This is MadameMaya, I finally made baby's first blorbo! It me, except Me+. She's quite a bit stronger than normal, but not for fighting. It's literally just so she can pick people and pokemon up really easily lmao. I'm also playing with a different version of the good old anon magic that I'm so used to having available. It's all text based; she can only use it if she sends an ask instead of all the time, and it's getting nerfed. I'm still fiddling with details, bear with me here. This is my first time RPing, so I'm learning.
If you knew me as an anon, it's literally the same person; she just 'Fell' into the pokemon world. Yup, we've got a Faller situation here. I intend to keep the relationships I already had as an anon and just continue them here, in person.
Pertinent Info: Adult Character, adult mod! She's the same age as me irl: 34. If you're not comfortable with either of those, just let me know and we can avoid each other, all good. Put whether you're an adult in your pinned or description, please! I personally am not comfortable rping with a mod under 15
Height around 5'6, weighs a little more than she looks, slightly baby faced but it's not enough to mistake her as a teenager. Tends to be in comfy clothes, identifies as a woman and uses She/Her pronouns.
Definitely Autistic, I'm not gonna try to play a neurotypical lol. She's also Suicidally Depressed but it's being treated - so am I. If you aren't comfortable with that, once again just say so and we can avoid each other.
Aromantic Asexual, the blog will probably touch on some adult topics, but the most sexual it will ever get is making jokes. Of which I will not be doing if I'm talking to a minor character, or a minor mod. Tags to avoid in that case are Minors DNI and NSFW. I'll be putting other topics like suicidal depression related things and serious injury under their own tags.
This is her house, because I need visuals for more own use if nothing else.
If you think I missed tagging something, poke me and I'll double check.
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lynxindisguise · 6 months
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20 asks for fic writers
ty for the tag @plecotusauritus and @wanderingdonut <333
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
16
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
300,242 (damn)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
hp, have considered branching into black sails and good omens
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Hot Cocoa Incident of '77
shorn and scarred and yours
A Dog in Stag's Clothing
Sarcastic Truths and Lies By Omission
exes, horcruxes, and other reasons to panic
conclusion: bitches love hogwarts fluff, slytherin sirius, and divorce!!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! I love comments!
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending
Uhhh I guess the corndog fic?? all my wolfstar fics currently end happily, though Of Monsters and Cowards has more of an open ending
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
They're all happy honestly, but The Hut of the Mistold is probably the most neatly wrapped up, all the warm and fuzzies, happily ever after ending.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nothing directly mean, but I'll get comments that make me go, "why did you feel the need to say that?" Like ranting a little too enthusiastically about the main character's choices or commenting on how they wanted more of xyz in a chapter (especially when the fic isn't even finished!) Oh and I got one the other day from a guest on a reply I made to someone else that was clearly trying to start an argument about something that had nothing to do with the fic??? I don't respond to those comments.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Typically I write a little smooching that fades into a vague description, but I wrote six different versions of smut for don't cover our tracks
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I write a lot of AU's based in other worlds, but not crossovers. (Unless @impishtubist and I make the ineffable wolfstar crossover happen!)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. And hot take—I genuinely think a lot of cases of "fic stealing" are just coincidence. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I do believe we're all collectively tossing around one brain cell, and we're bound to have similar ideas.
I once read a fic that shared a lot of themes/ideas/details with one of my fics, and upon discovering this, I plotted to trick the writer into becoming my deeply beloved mutual.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I've had people ask if they could translate my fics before a few times, but I don't think anything has come of it?
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not currently... (refer to 10)
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Wolfstar
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
... probably the ATLA AU :/
The idea possessed me back in January of last year, and I plotted out the entire thing, but I've had no motivation to actually write it. I think the problem is that it's too cinematic, and I can't translate it to prose.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Probably world-building, in the way that I can look at one world and say "how would this translate to another?" "what little details and references can I pull from and play with?" "how do I adjust my writing style to make this feel like the genre I'm replicating?"
Also unusual metaphors, zingy little commentary, and comedic timing in dialogue.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I really struggle with prose. Which sounds silly, but like, I'm not writing prose—I'm translating the screenplay in my brain to prose, which is weird. And I think it can make my writing really jarring because it's lacking that slow, immersive reflection that is just so delicious when done well.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Dude I put a few Welsh words in hotm and panicked that even those would be wrong. If it was ever important for the story, I'd find someone who spoke the language to help me.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
hp
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Please Don't See Me
tagging @kaaaaaaarf @spindrifters @impishtubist @soloorganaas @femme--de--lettres @fruityindividual @worldenough-and-time
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kaythetrashcan · 5 months
Text
Here are some of my thoughts on DN: short stories!
And it's a lot. I'm crossposting this from my reddit account. Spoilers ahead
Book cover
Why does Ryuk look different on the cover? He looks like normal in all the actual stories but on the cover he has a red spot on his chest and red lips (among other things).
I do really like his right bracelet, it reminds me of the handcuffs Light and L had. I'm not sure if it's new but it's cool.
Speaking of the cover, there is 'Death Note' written in shiny letters and I only noticed once I turned my lamp on. That's such a nice detail.
Onto the stories themselves.
C-Kira
When I read the name Yamamoto, I though it was one of Light's friends from the manga, since they have the same name and appearance (spiky black hair and glasses). But apparently they are different characters entirely, which is kinda disappointing even if it doesn't change anything.
I'm bit confused on what's up with Matsuda. He tries to justify actions of C-Kira and I'm not sure where the writers where going with this. Like he was supportive of the original Kira but I kinda thought that ended when he shot Light several times.
I like that Near's hair got a bit longer from last time. Also the tator card towers are insanely cool.
And the way he just pops out of them on page 22 XD.
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When Near recalls the video chat, we see a kid with a striped shirt, who I'm guessing is Matt
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I haven't seen the Relight movies (I'm planning to one day), but I saw L's monster speech and I'm guessing it's based on this scene. The manga is pretty different from it, L is more forward and cold.
It's pretty interesting to hear that L picked Near and Mello because they didn't ask him any questions, just listened. Also bc of their glares.
And if this is the only time Near interacted with L, how does he know his appearence for his finger puppet? Did he see a photo or did he just get a description from someone else?
I can't believe Ryuk got other shinigamis, including the actual King of Death addicted to apples. Good lord.
Also I love how Ryuk refers to king of death as an "old fart". Makes it sound like he's the shinigami's dad XD
Near just tuning in, calling C-Kira a murderer and then signing out was pretty badass. Rip C-Kira, you were okay.
Speaking of C-kira, we actually know really little about them. All we got was they own a bunch of anime figurines.
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I noticed how many bananas Meadra has eaten. Do all shinigami's have a specific food they like? Although all seem to like apples.
I like Near not being sure if he acted like L and how Rester tells him he's L now, it's pretty sweet and adds a bit of humanity to Near.
Also how are the towers holding together? Near's breaking laws of gravity
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Meadra is such a nice friend, bringing Ryuk an apple.
This was a pretty fun story and it's always nice to see Halle Linder.
A-kira
I really like Minoru's design. He looks unique but still natural and his hairstyle is bit more modern compared to Light's.
Ryuk picked Minoru rather than just throwing the death note and waiting for somebody to find it. It's a interesting shift from his first appearence.
I love Ryuk's disappointment when Minoru told him he can't read the rules and demanded translation.
Minoru is so based for just trying to sell the notebook and his plan is really clever.
Ryuk holding the sign while literaly everyone in the studio can't see him is hilarious.
Near looks gorgeous with the long hair. <3 And so does Halle Linder with the shorter hair cut
Is that Donald Trump???!!! What even is this story?!
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I love how Armonia just shows up with his chair and leaves immediately.
Wait, Yotsuba??? I was wondering what the Yotsuba group was actually leading, nice to get a conclusion.
I'm also intrigued that Minoru decided to keep only a fraction of the money, but it was pretty smart and he still got a bunch of money from it.
I can't believe Ryuk met Donald Trump.
In the end, Ryuk writes the name of Minoru in his note book. I thought the rule would kill him immediately? Or is Ryuk obligated to write it?
Anyways, this story was goofy, Minoru was entertainingly smart and I liked it.
Scribbles
I love how insane and fun everyone in this. We need more. Also Sayu has more to do. Yay :D
Why does Light think strawberries are more sexy than apples?
Misa's back!!! I missed her so much.
Her swimsuit is really bland, but Light looks great in the Hawaian shirt. He should wear it more often.
I'm not sure how to feel about Misa getting sexualized in this. I'm fine with fanservice and her being sexy, but I feel like she sometimes gets treated more as a source of fanservice than an actual character.
I noticed she's the one driving the car. And I don't think I ever saw Light drive. This leads me to a conclusion that Light never learned to drive. Headcanon that Misa just drives him around during those 5 years.
Also I live for Misa and Sayu's friendship!!!
Misa making bunny apples for Ryuk is so cute.
Somehow, "Disappointment" makes Misa and Light into a somewhat healthy couple.
In second to last strip, Light somehow pulls L up using only one arm. My boy is strong.
And the last strip, "Debate" depicts Rem holding a glass of wine (?). Since Rem doesn't have a favourite human food (unlike Ryuk, Meadra and Sidoh), maybe she likes to drink wine? Misa seems to enjoy drinking (in that one scene in the anime). Maybe she shared some with her.
L - one day
Watari narrates this like an animal documentary.
It also gives L both really bizarre and really normal traits, like he bathes in a washing machine and can't be bothered to put a shirt on, but he is fond of art galleries and theme parks.
Also L's a pop fan. Love that but I'm bit said we didn't get this in the main series. I'd love to see what interactions with Misa could come from that.
I'm glad to know that L does more than just sit in front of a computer.
L- Wammy's house
I love L, but he looks so weird as a kid. Glad he didn't stay like this forever.
So L came into the orphanage without a name. Did he name himself or did Wammy gave him that name? How do all the kids get their names? Why does Near have a normal name but then we have a guy named Mail?
How did L manage to defeat a group of kids who were trying to beat him (the new kid) up? And judging from what L says, this might be a common thing, so why isn't anyone doing anything about it?
Kids in Wammy's house share bedrooms so I wonder who did Near and Mello live with.
L and Watari's dynamic here is so hilarious.
Overall I'm not really big on this story. I know it's a matter of preference but L feels really overpowered and inhuman here. I kinda prefer when he gets some grounded moments, like his monster speech in Relight movies or even just his reaction to Misa kissing him on the cheek. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just not really my thing.
Taro Kagami
This is also a pilot for the series.
I noticed that the shinigami's look more human. I'm glad their designs got changed, I don't like how they look like sexy women with weird faces.
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Taro is so cute! I really like his design.
I like how he just uses the Death note as a regular notebook and accidentally kills someone. It's a pretty common concept in memes about DN so it's nice to see it in a serious story.
I appreciate Taro's reaction to Ryuk and accidentally killing people. It's pretty realistic for a kid like him.
Takagi kinda looks like Raye Penber while Yamanaka's design didn't make it into the series. Its kinda a shame, since it's pretty unique.
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I also like to see Taro's mom getting involved. We never really got any reaction from Sachiko.
The conversation between Yamanaka and Takagi about how they'd use the death note is really interesting. Yamanaka makes a great point on how most people would use it.
I also love him saying that Takagi would have to kill half the world to achieve his harmonious world.
And personality wise, Takagi reminds me a bit of Matsuda.
The death eraser is a cool concept. While it probably would be too overpowered in the main series, I'd love to see what could be done with it.
I'm also intrigued by the author of detective novels. His design is cool as well and I wonder if he somewhat inspired L's character. His deductions were great.
And so we're Taru's, when he figured out Miuro is the second DN owner.
The ending itself is amazing in my opinion. Taro manages to twist the truth just right, so Miuro trusts him while he keeps the original note book. Death note becomes a legend but Taru still has it after all these years. The ambiguity is brilliant.
And older Taru looks great with long hair.
I read on the wiki that Taru might have inspired Mikami and I honestly believe that, but he seems like a combination of both Taru and Miuro.
He gets his long hair from Taru, glasses and fanatism from Miuro (who kept screaming "Die, die, die" while frantically writing names of criminals) and being bullied from both.
This was my favourite story. It flows a bit better than the A and C kira stories and it had some really cool ideas.
Final thoughts
While I'm bit sad we didn't really have any female characters (since DN doesn't really have many and as a woman I'd like to see them) I had fun with this book, the art's great and it's nice to see the pilot, shorter funny comics and what's most of the living cast up to after Light's death.
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dream-meltic · 10 months
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Hi, hello, I've been meaning to use my Tumblr account for like AGES but so far haven't. So I'm letting it be a space where I can just talk about Bedman (and Delilah)'s lore, development etc and have it as a resource for myself and others to refer back to. I'm just very autistic about him and express my love through analysis, okay
The thing with Bedman is that because his lore can seem a little all over the place or is hidden behind JP-only content, there's a lot of misconceptions about him floating around! I'm going to make two posts on the major misconceptions I see everywhere (one about Romeo himself, the other about the bed) and will talk about other aspects of his lore later.
So let's talk about a dreaded subject of mine: Bedman's age, and the really bad evidence people use when talking about it. It's going to be a long post under here just so I'm completely clear, so buckle up, and take a nice reminder that you can headcanon what you like and to just send an ask over if you want further clarification, evidence etc! (But please read all of it before you do just in case I answer your question during it)
Let's begin with the most obvious thing. Is his age confirmed? Do we have a number? No. Despite very common claims he is specifically either 14 or 16, neither of these numbers have ever come up officially in relation to Bedman's age. If you see someone saying this, chances are they heard it from someone else, and didn't really question where they got that information. The large majority of Guilty Gear characters are not given an actual age. Plenty of them still don't have a birthday, you know….
The main problem and misconception comes with the next part where people believe he is canonically, or canonically implied to be, a minor. Usually based on other character's dialogue. I'm all for headcanon, but when you begin insisting that it's canonical and start being rude to others over it I do have to draw a line there, so let me explain why the evidence used for him being either of those things is actually not good enough:
1. Chipp/Answer dialogue
In Xrd SIGN's story mode, Chipp and Bedman have a brief fight and during it, he calls Answer to try and figure out who he is and gives him a brief description of what he looks like. Here's a full quote of what he says to him:
"Looks human, or at least humanoid, but he's strapped to a person-shaped bed. Looks to be in the mid-to-late teens--the kid, not the bed. Caucasian, short purple hair, glasses. He's sleeping, but the bed's walking around. Too dark to tell eye color. He's wearing what appears to be a hospital gown... Getting anything?"
Later, when Answer becomes playable in Rev2, he repeats some of his exact same words from the Japanese version of this dialogue when selecting Bedman with him as your system voice.
These two are usually used very first when asked to provide evidence of him supposedly being a minor canonically, but people seem to miss out entire words of what both of them say: rather than saying Bedman is mid-to-late teens, they're saying he looks like he is mid-to-late teens. Chipp is describing his physical appearance to Answer- not his biological data.
When you consider another official line about Bedman, that there is "no official documents that can prove he exists", sorry to say that someone who just met him three minutes ago won't have a complete dead-on accurate guess of his age. Chipp isn't telling us Bedman's age range (which in the case of his dialogue specifically, would mean he is 15-19, which counts as an adult regardless), he's saying what he thinks Bedman looks like.
Answer is just repeating Chipp's dialogue. In other words, he's doing the exact same thing.
And just saying, as an adult, I get mistaken for a teenager all the time. It's very, very common especially with short adults.
2. Other character's dialogue- such as calling him "child" and "kid"
I have to make this a separate section because it's used less than Chipp and Answer's dialogue, but this is the other thing I see the most. Throughout the story mode you'll find Bedman is frequently referred to as a child or a kid. So I ask you to go back up to the previous section and ask yourself: how would any of these people actually know?
I'm going to use May here to prove a point. In Xrd alone, there are several cases of her being referred to with words like "little girl", "child", "kid", etc. However, Xrd May is at bare minimum in her 20s. This is also the case for her official profiles, where she's referred to with similar terms to Bedman.
If you didn't know May was an adult, congratulations on discovering the main joke with her. TL;DR: By Xrd, May is 20+. In the English dub, she even says "22", but because that's not present in Japanese we can't say that's her exact age. All we know is, by that point, she was in her 20s. So why does everyone still call her a little girl? Why do people still treat her like a child, Bedman included? The same reason they do it to Bedman: they are assuming based on her appearance.
In other words, why on earth are you taking Slayer's word as gospel of all people when he didn't even know he existed until he was beating his ass?
3. Bedman's height/weight
This one particularly infuriates me as an adult who does get mistaken for a kid for these things, but I'll let that anger slide to explain why you can't use this as evidence.
For starters… well, May, once again. I won't repeat my previous talking points, but you genuinely can't use Bedman's stature as proof when May, who is just the tiniest bit taller and heavier than him, is right there. Like, no actually, why are you using his height as proof??
Next, he and Delilah have the exact same height and weight. But they're not twins. In fact, they can't even be close in age, for a reason I'll go in depth on later just to keep this section about the evidence itself. Bedman is her older brother- Delilah being 12 at that height and weight, and then Bedman being somewhere in his teens at that exact height and weight is… um, impossible. Instead, we get an interesting confirmation from Faust about the reason for Bedman being as tiny as he is. Unlike other characters, Faust can be trusted on this information because he's an actual medical professional who may as well have seen this kind of situation before. He also isn't saying his age is one thing or the other, just talking about his appearance.
"They say children who sleep well grow up healthy, but that doesn't mean children who don't sleep aren't healthy. Hm... what is it that makes you look like - ah, your brain."
Japanese dialogue:
"寝る子は育つといいますが寝ない子が育たない訳ではないですよ? 貴方のスタイルの必然性は・・・そうか、脳ですね?"
The Japanese dialogue makes this a lot more obvious, but Faust is asking why he looks like a child. And the reason is his coma.
…In other words, he and Delilah can't grow. Their bodies are frozen as is to stop them from dying. Without constant care, they'd both die in their coma without it. Now that Delilah's awake, it's possible we'll see some growth from her, but Bedman was stuck like that for who knows how long.
So yes, you can't use how he looks as evidence.
And thank god, that's about all the major points used. You can see why they're so shaky as evidence, can't you? All are based entirely on assumptions, which were based on appearance, being treated as confirmations. But they're not, they're just looks into how other characters view him- not how we, the viewer, should.
But let me argue for the other end of it here, that Bedman is implied to be an adult instead, just to prove a point about how bad the evidence is in comparison to the other side's.
Let me go back to what I mentioned previously- that he and Delilah can't be close in age. For this, the main answer is in Xrd Revelator's story mode, and more specifically his long talk with Axl Low. I truly believe it is extremely important for understanding Bedman and Delilah, so if you haven't yet, I highly recommend watching it!
From Bedman's dialogue both there and elsewhere, we learn the following about Delilah:
- She is far deeper in her dream world than he is, and her senses are "blocked off" so to speak from the outside world.
- She doesn't know her own mother.
- She only people that have even been capable of speaking to Delilah are Bedman and Ariels. However, Ariels has not known either of them all their life.
- She was born like this.
Why are all these important, you ask? Think for a moment, think about all those factors together.
Now, riddle me this:
Who raised Delilah, then?
Bedman had his mother, we know this. But if Delilah couldn't even feel anything happening to her in the outside world, how would their mother have raised her? How does Delilah know how to talk, read, anything at all? When you put how she refers to Baiken in with all this, the answer is kind of clear: Bedman was the one who raised her. Despite Baiken acting like a traditional parent, Delilah gives her the nickname of "big sis". Because these behaviors, to her, are a sibling thing. Delilah never met her mother to be able to know what a mother would act like. Who she does know is her big sibling.
Which means, in order for Bedman to be 13-17, he would need to have been 1-5 years old while that happened. I don't think you need me to tell you that for a non-gear, even a hyper intelligent one, that's just not happening. Especially considering that he is also inside of his dream and has seemingly only one person on the outside to raise and provide for him. When your brain is literally still in the earliest stages of development, you're not going to suddenly become a genius at age 3 and be capable of raising a baby on your own. You'd see that kind of insufferable intelligence come out more around age 7.
If you didn't catch the difference between that piece of evidence and the previous ones, here it is: the evidence used for him being a minor is based solely on dialogue from characters who have no way of knowing his age, and assumptions based on appearance. The evidence used here is based on Bedman and Delilah's own dialogue, two people that WOULD know this information, and some very basic literature analysis skills you'll learn when you're like 14.
When you're talking about character lore without a definitive answer written down somewhere, the priority must be put on their own dialogue and the dialogue of people who, canonically, would have access to the information you want. So unfortunately, Chipp saying he looks like a teenager has no weight compared to a major implication that he raised Delilah from the bedsiblings' dialogue. Thaat's how analysis works
So wow that was long! I just really wanted to make sure I was understood but in case anyone still has any questions, needs me to clarify something or provide more evidence of something, anything like that: just send an ask over. They should be open and anon should be on too so don't be scared, no judgment to be found here. My only hope is that I didn't sound like I was rambling nonsense…….
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fateandloveentwined · 8 months
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City C, University P -- the way modern chinese names places
Alright, you may have come across such initial-based namings in books, danmei and other cnovels: City S, University P, C市 (City C), S大 (University S)
-- is it lazy translation? why aren't they giving places actual names?
A tad bit of informal history below:
When did it start?
As a person very much inexperienced in chinese historical literature, I couldn't say for sure either. But what I do know, is that it has been in writing since the 20th century (around the 1920s and after). You see renowned writers of that time like Lu Xun 鲁迅 and Zhu Ziqing 朱自清 using these initials.
(I don't have concrete examples in mind, so I'm flipping about what I have around me, and Zhu Ziqing and Lu Xun's books happen to be near me so -- let me use their works as examples of the day.)
There's this novella Lu Xun wrote, with a protagonist which he named 阿Q (read as "Ah-Q"). I also see in his short stories that he named a dog S, a side character 小D (Little D), and a city S城 (City S).
Zhu Ziqing tends to write more about realistic things that happen in his life in the form of short writings, and for that reason he uses initials way less. He did refer to a person by "Y" in one of the pieces though.
So what are they doing?
So around that time of Lu Xun (we're in the republican era) there's a movement called the May Fourth Movement, and out of the movement it spurred in the literary realm the New Culture Movement. I honestly don't want to go into the details and confuse everyone with my inexperience here, what is worth noting is that they began promoting "modern chinese" (白话 bái huà) over "classical chinese" (文言 wén yán). "Modern chinese" is the kind of chinese you read in cnovels and everywhere else nowadays.
And in this movement, they also advocated quite a lot of western ideas. This is where they proposed a complete romanisation of chinese characters, and probably to do with this, in their new modern chinese writings, they started using anglicised phrases like "City Y" and "Dog S".
All movements are controversial, their failure or success is controversial, I really don't want to get into past history so let's move on.
What they use now.
When journalling one's own experiences, important places and all that, obviously real places and names are used. Otherwise, in fiction, alphabetic initials are used in place, likely to 1. distance fiction from real life, and also I suppose nowadays 2. to avoid heated topics. For instance china may be referred to as 华国 (Huá guó), which probably makes things less sensitive and easier to handle.
again i really don't want to get into nations and stuff. let me literary-this meta out in peace.
How can I understand where means where?
It took me a while to get used to them, basically sometimes you can guess the place -- City B may be Beijing, C could be Chongqing, S could be Shanghai -- the big metropolitan cities. University T and P (or Q and B) would be Tsinghua and Peking University.
As for the other names, when they say University A or High School No. 1 it usually means the top school in the area, because (at least for high schools) that's how quite a number of schools are named. If you couldn't tell what the letter represents, it's probably a random one.
additional note: these initials are only used in modern and futuristic sci-fi novels (at least from what I've seen so far!) using letters in historical or historical fantasy ones would break the fourth wall quite a bit for me haha.
Addendum
See Guardian article linked in the comments should you be interested.
Some points of note, made up places have been used in other fiction too, to avoid trespassing geographical localities and cultures aboriginal to a group of people;
Russian novels also have used mysterious initials -- "in the town of P", this is in the 19th and 20th century -- so it may well have come from Russia instead of literature under greco-roman influence (excuse the terrible description) -- but likely it did result from the movements, that's what instigated modern chinese writing in the first place.
(yeah it's on my lack of russian classics perusal -- i'll rectify that some time.)
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