#guys help I'm gonna get mauled

[maulfucker]

oh god oh fuck I just had. A Thought.

ok so. remember when I said some posts ago that if I ever wrote a sequel to the sequel to Maul fucks some guy it would be a "I'm horny and it's making me go kinda crazy and I don't care we can pretend it didn't happen just fuck me" kinda thing. and remember I have a currently on hiatus wip about Maul warning Obi-Wan about Sidious before Dooku dies that involves them fucking in a spaceship. what if I. combined these concepts......

[prismit]

i've actually just now decided that the absolute worst "free to play" game mechanic is limited inventory space that you need to pay premium currency to increase.

[maidenvault]

During my last rewatch of the prequels I was actually shocked by how much I've misremembered or decontextualized certain moments in my mind because of how they're often talked about in fandom as showing the Jedi as too arrogant, too bureaucratic, generally just burying their heads in the sand while everything goes bad etc. So I'm gonna try to address every individual scene that typically gets brought up to argue that this is an actual theme in Lucas's portrayal of the Order.

The Council doesn't take Qui-Gon's account of meeting a Sith seriously.

Mace and Ki Adi Mundi do both express doubt this guy could be a Sith. (Understandably! Historically they've never known Sith to be able to hide their existence, and for them to have survived totally in secret for a thousand years is a pretty wild thing for Qui-Gon to be so sure of.)

BUT Yoda admits that the dark side is hard to see, and Mace assures Qui-Gon they'll do everything to find out the identity of the attacker. Later he's ordered to go back to Naboo and try to draw out Maul to discover more. Qui-Gon accepts this and doesn't ask for backup. Why should he? He held his own against Maul before, and Maul's probably not gonna show himself again to face a ton of Jedi. They end up missing the chance to learn who trained Maul because of how things go down, but Qui-Gon's death isn't the result of the Council mishandling the situation.

At the funeral, Yoda says the presence of one Sith means there's another out there. They know they've got to be on guard now and will be, but they've got no more leads for now.

2. Qui-Gon's not here to free slaves.

There's this idea that slavery existing on Tatooine shows the Order is apparently too tied up doing shady things for self-interested politicians (footage not found) to help the people who really need it. But Padme's shocked to know the Skywalkers are slaves for a reason. The truth is there isn't a lot of slavery in the galaxy at this time because the Jedi have helped keep it that way for centuries only by working with the Republic. In TCW we see that Zygerrian slavers have a particular hatred of Jedi because they're literally The Anti Slavery People and did so much of the work to crack down on their trade. But Tatooine is controlled by the Hutts and they simply don't have the resources to start a war with them.

(And honestly, it's crazy how people talk like Qui-Gon's a monster for honestly and apologetically telling Anakin no, that's not why he's here. This is a child he's already indebted to and who has a hero-worshipping idea of Jedi, it would be fucked up for him not to be clear about how he can't help him and his mom.)

3. They doubt Dooku could be behind the assassination attempt.

This I understand shows the Jedi to be a little naive. But they knew Dooku as a good man, and at this point he and his followers are still putting on a show of wanting to secede for idealistic reasons (and a few of them, manipulated by Dooku, actually do have good intentions). Only later do the Jedi learn they're illegally building an army before they've even officially left the Republic and clearly have no interest in the peaceful resolution Padme's been advocating for. And they only find this out because they have Obi-Wan investigate the assassin and this very quickly leads him to Dooku.

4. "Arrogance, yes. A trait more and more common among Jedi. Even the older, more experienced ones."

In context, this line from Yoda is clearly not meant to be taken so seriously. Obi-Wan says he fears Anakin is too arrogant, and this is Yoda's light-hearted way of telling him not to be so hard on him. Part of training a Padawan is learning to trust them so they can grow, and Obi-Wan perhaps needs the reminder that he isn't done learning himself.

Of course Yoda saying this could be partly motivated by them having been caught off guard before by the existence of Darth Maul and the dark side clouding their awareness, as we're told repeatedly throughout the PT they know is a problem. But it's kind of contradictory to take this as confirmation that this is a serious fatal flaw of theirs. If someone acknowledges their own arrogance then they're aware of their ability to be wrong, which means they can't actually be that arrogant. If truly meant in a general sense and not just as a gentle reproof of Obi-Wan, it's a pretty self-deprecating comment coming from Yoda.

5. "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist."

Chief Librarian Jocasta Nu gives this haughty response to Obi-Wan looking for Kamino, a system that's not in the Jedi Archives. So being so overly confident in the infallible knowledge of the Jedi, he takes her word for it and totally drops this lead.

Except no, he goes to someone older and wiser to figure out what this actually means. And he and Yoda are forced to conclude that the unthinkable - a trusted person among them somehow had reason to erase information from the archive - must nonetheless be what happened. This is honestly an exception that proves the rule: Kamino, and we can assume only Kamino, is missing from the archive only because it was removed, which is so suspicious it just shows he must be on the right track to discovering something. Jocasta is kind of snooty about it but theirs obviously is supposed to be one of the most accurate and complete databases in the galaxy.

6. Obi-Wan doesn't believe what Dooku tells him about the Senate.

For one thing, in this conversation Dooku's lying about basically everything but this. And I can't ever stress enough that Palpatine is a threat unlike anything the Jedi have ever dealt with before, who's already taken control of so much before they even know they're fighting anything, so the idea that a Sith is controlling the Senate would be really hard for anyone to believe.

Still, we know Obi-Wan reports this to the Council anyway. But it's a vague statement and they still don't have any information to act on. Palpatine soon has them very busy putting out fires in the war, and naturally fighting the Separatists who are led by Sith seems the best way for them to get to the bottom of what exactly is going on with the dark side. And they do finally turn their attention to how power-hungry Palpatine is getting once the war is nearly over and they've got the bandwidth for it, and think about what they might have to do if he's the threat to their democracy they fear, but of course he's too many steps ahead of them all the time.

---

So basically, what we see the Jedi being so guilty of in these examples are thought crimes. When confronted with the crazy explanation that happens to be true, their instinctive reaction is "No, I don't think that's possible." And then they do their due diligence to uncover as much of the truth as they can anyway. And Yoda, the Grand Master of them all, is often the first to admit that their first assumptions could be wrong. But Palpatine wouldn't be a good villain if his moves were predictable and he couldn't get an advantage over the good guys - that's just how storytelling works sometimes and it's not that deep.

It honestly felt stupid typing so much of this out because it's 90% just describing what actually happens in these scenes. But I guess it's a lot to ask that people actually carefully watch the films they discuss. 😒

[tenaciousbouquetearthquake]

Okay, guys. Hear me out on this. AU where Gus and his entire team are *shifters*, and that's why they all work so well together and Gus chose them to be part of the team. Because they're a *pack*.

Anders Lassen? A big teddy bear. Unless you're a Nazi or trying to hurt someone he cares about, and then he shifts into a giant brown bear and like mauls you to death and keeps your heart as a souvenir. But he'll totally try to bring his friends in on this, too, just because he wants to share his hobbies with them, and he genuinely doesn't get why his friends all think it's creepy and gross. Also, "he grew up wrestling bears on his family's estate". I'm just saying. This totally works.

Apple? That dude is a *cat* and no one can change my mind about that. Quiet, mysterious, calculating, a master planner, and when you see him in action, he's obviously competent and having a damn good time. Knocks things off of tables or steals shit or blows something up and overcomplicates the mission for no apparent reason, just for the drama. I'm thinking leopard, but I'm biased toward leopards as big cats because one of my favorite series by Nalini Singh is heavily based around a pack of leopard shifters and at this point, they're just my default. Also, so freaking pretty.

Gus? That dude is a WOLF. Larger than life, always having a good time on the hunt, wreaking havoc. Loves to make Apple crazy because that dude's a cat and you know how well dogs and cats get along. Mine actually get along really well except for when the cat tries to eat the dog's food, but whatever. But listen, listen--how else do you explain the absolute insistence of "No Apple, no mission"? Like, really, this was clearly *wolf* Gus just trying to piss off *cat* Apple because he thrives on chaos and just likes to drag his cat "friend" (Apple might contest this) into the mess. Apple probably didn't even need any help getting away from the Nazis on La Palma. He was probably just toying with them and *waiting for the right moment* to strike.

Freddy? Okay, okay. Before anyone complains about this, just listen. That dude is a FERRET. And if you've spent any amount of time around ferrets, I swear, you will understand what a compliment this is and what it says about Freddy. Playful, boisterous, tons of personality, sneaky, a penchant for stealing things (okay, it's sounding a bit more like Gus now, actually) and for causing THE GOOD KIND OF TROUBLE. 100% in on whatever plans wolf Gus and cat Apple are cooking up because *it sounds like a good time*. Also, ferrets are freaking ADORABLE. I mean, have you seen a video of ferrets being all cuddly or jumping around and playing? Tell me that's not Freddy.

Hayes? I feel like Hayes is either a really dark horse and is something absolutely terrifying that none of the guys will talk about directly (like, if it ever comes up, they'll all just conveniently change the subject or be super vague about it), or he's either the only human in the group and is the unofficial wrangler of these guys simply because he's the only one who's not at least partially ruled by his animal nature.

Not gonna lie. I know this may not be a big hit with anyone else not everyone is obsessed with werewolves and shifters and loves to read an au of it, but I am just *in love* with this concept and may spend an hour or two tonight just writing out ideas or drabbles of it.

Edit: read the first chapter on ao3 or check it out here

[life-winners-liveblog]

Oh thank goddess the fox is gone-

Okay, Olive hon, your mom and us whispers want to give you some medicine to make sure that if you get sick you'll be ok; but we can't give it to you the way it's given to humans. Would you be okay taking a trip with us to go see some of our friends who know how to give you the medicine? It would be very fast and I will personally give you a dessert when you get back to your moms. (Pearl, I'm thinking fruit tarts, not pure sugar.)

Scott, my guy, don't question it. Yes it was suspicious, firstly Scar and Grian are suspicious on a daily basis that's not out of the norm. Secondly, here's some barista equipment, learn to make your drink on your own. New hobby, maybe? I know a person named Morgan who can make really cool ones. Thirdly, do you even want to finish Last Life? You saw what happened to Grian when you finished 3rd Life and you and I both know you've got trauma surrounding your game too. You won't be able to repress your pain for ever and maybe that's a good thing you self-sacrificing ninny

Martyn, we fucked up. Jay accidentally set a rabid fox loose and it did damage, there's no sense in denying it. And when you fuck up, you apologize. You're bitchy and rude on a good day but that will never mean that we get to pull shit like that and not say sorry. You are deserving of basic respect and decency just like everyone else.

Scar, you… you just really had to step right on into the Big Problem, didn't you. and of course this happens when the you that's able to help explain is in another afterlife entirely- Regardless, Grian, I think you should tell him. It's not a great story but it's an important one, and also he's gonna keep snooping and probably get into big trouble if you don't.

-Bel

[Ok!]

Pearl:*sigh* Try to be safe...please?

[Ok!]

~~~~~

Scott: Hmmm, you know what? We do have a lot of free time and watering the garden doesn't really take that long.

~~~~~

Martyn: Still, can you fucking blame me? Some of you even wanted me to get mauled by the fox...sickos.

~~~~~

Scar: Well some do say I have a tendency to find trouble! Grian has already left though I'm afraid.

~~~~~

Grian: ... ...and I think thats not up to you to decide...

[ballcrusher74]

hello. are you. perhaps 👉👈 willing to talk about the inspector/faux. ive only seen cool arts and no context so im rather curious.

OK!!! I actually love rambling about my ocs so small questions like this make me day. I just get nervous LOL But! I will say, there's gonna probably be a bit I'm leaving out because it does involve my friends' characters and it's still an on-going thing atm (we tend to roleplay on lethal company as our guys. btw the oc group is called Cleanup Crew ! it explains the recent reblogs and new tags I've added on posts with this guy) AND this does also involve my own little interpretations of in-game mechanics and other things, but otherwise, I'll get the rest of him down!

Inspector, also originally known by the name of Terrance Conroy (or Terry), was a typical scavenger working under 'The Company' after a couple rough times on his home planet. (This information isn't necessarily set in stone, but the idea of him being a washed-up rock star before quitting his passion to get a job that pays his rent has been bouncing around in my brain.) He used to be a normal guy, trying to find a little hope in his desperate situation, and was a social butterfly. He tend to bounce from crew to crew, sometimes staying in some for only a couple days, and some for months. He was a very careful man, and looked out for his fellow crew members.

And then, one day, his first death on the job happens.

But instead of being greeted by a bright white light at the end of a tunnel, or complete pitch darkness, he appears on the ship again- completely physically fine.

This.. confuses him at first, yet he continues on.

And then he dies again. And again, and again. Over and over, the more deaths he's endured, the more he comes to a morbid realization that he can't truly die, nor can those around him. He tries to keep this truth hidden away from the others, as they seem to not have mentioned it at all before. He remembers everything. Every time he was ripped to shreds by an eyeless dog, every time he blew up into pieces from a landmine, every time he was shot multiple times, every time he was left behind or ejected as part of the disciplinary process- He felt it all and remembered it all. This goes on for the course of years (around 8-10 roughly) and over that course of time, he begins to grow very careless. What's the point of saving someone if they'll just come back? What's the use of tears when you're only a couple dollars off quota with a shovel in hand?

What's the point of it all? And with that carelessness comes selfishness into the picture. With how long he's been stuck in the cycle, he has become a very manipulative person, putting up a playful and nice persona on the outside- almost sickeningly sweet- in order to help other's do his bidding. He believes that if he were to cause so much chaos, disorder, and disruption within a crew, to where it's like animals mauling each other apart, he'd be able to break free from it himself. He doesn't care anymore about leaving others behind. He's desperate at this point to find a way out. Faux, who is an alter ego / disguise for Inspector, ties more into the on-going events right now, but I can give a basic rundown on his personality. He's a klutzy and quiet man, typically only talking to others when it's just him and them, and nobody else around, playing himself off as a selective mute. Since this is just Inspector in a jazzy little jester outfit, he still possesses all the traits of that man, just hidden away as to not blow his cover. He's still tugging on the strings in some way, people just don't realize. Sure, he's off putting and just a tad bit strange, but how can a goofy man like that be terrifying?

WOOOW ok that's a lot more typing than expected, but here's also a couple fun facts about the guy !

He stands at 6 feet and 1 inch, and is a very lanky guy compared to others, but this wasn't always the case. He used to just stand at 5 feet and 6 inches, and had more normal human proportions. With how many times he has died and how long it's been of the cycle, it has fucked up his appearance a LOT. Other things include : his 'skin' being grey, his voice constantly sounding like it's coming from a walkie talkie, no visible neck, his face becoming the helmet itself (it still bleeds, but there's nothing in there), and inhumanly flexible.

The only thing left of him that represents his last strand of humanity, is a singular, dim eye behind the tape on his visor.

He is very much not a rational man anymore. He is quick to jump to things, and won't hesitant with his actions.

When waiting to return from death, he is able to manifest in someone's head as a disembodied voice, and will typically mock them, or try and manipulate them further. In this state, he can see everything through the eyes of the person he's haunting. ^ Fun fact about this! This was originally based off a stupid bit where my friend was streaming LC to me with other buddies on the game and I kept telling them to step on landmines and then kill someone for a promotion, and then Inspector was born!

and UH I think that's about it I have for the guy atm! If the rest of the cleanup crew gets dropped than I'll update this accordingly perhaps. As of right now, enjoy my oc slop 👍

[sycamorality]

On anon because I don't want people to immediately decide I'm the scum of the earth for this but I've said it a few times in posts that I just want to look at things I want to look at and not have to be filled with pain and sorrow. Doing such is HARD when you get all those guilt tripping asks begging for help. It's gotten to the point where I have stopped interacting with a lot of things because I don't want to get bombarded with that shit, and yet I STILL get those asks. They're either fake, desperate, or I'm starting to fucking hallucinate them from how common they are

yeah no i get you. i haven't said shit about all of this for a while but i'm genuinely fucking tired and fed up with how common these asks are getting, despite me blocking literally every gaza/palestine account i come across to avoid getting them.

and the fact people are gonna label someone as a zionist or evil or an awful person or what-have-you just for deleting the asks or not interacting with anything related to it is fucking insane. guys this is the website where people go insane about their fandoms and make twink sexymen. this isn't the "maul eachother like feral wolves just because they care about their mental health" site. go to reddit to be a degenerate

[some-pers0n]

Reading through scenes with Albatross in them, so you know what that means!! Note time!! Time to take notes about Albatross, with little sprinkles of Fathom and Lagoon.

This is a post literally only meant for me. I'm. yeah. If I ever rip it out of my drafts it's gonna be because: "Wowie you think the other dragon likers will enjoy this as well?" It's not going to be coherent at all, switching from bullet points to full on tangents. I'll eventually shorten it down to something more compact and easier to comprehend, perhaps with a character sheet for Albatross with a detailed personality section.

With that being said, lets read.

Chapter 1

Chapter where Fathom learns that he's a magic guy. Okie.

First note is entirely off-topic, but I really do love Indigo and Fathom's interactions. They're so sweet.

Lagoon's first introduction already paints her as ominous and foreboding, comparing her rising out of the sea like "a sinister iceberg". Iceberg flipping videos are spooky to me, so yeah that makes sense. Either way, it establishes her character to be one that's antagonistic, with the use of the phrase "stalked slowly up to the beach" in the next sentence making it very firm that she's not exactly a dragon we like.

Lagoon's literally beefing with a child. God I hate her so much,, I love her <333

Interesting use of the titled "most respected dragon in the Sea Kingdom" to describe Albatross. I like that it implies that Albatross is viewed more highly than even Queen Lagoon (which isn't too high of a bar to clear, but ehh). He's beloved by the kingdom. He's their first animus.

Odd to describe his expression as "suspicious" here. I like thinking that he looks like a generic evil cartoon villain/anti-semite stereotype here. The next sentence describing him with a hooked snout doesn't help.

Curious that he would complain about the TOP ceremony here. I get it's for exposition, but I find it interesting. He doesn't see a point in the exam. It's a waste of time to him and the others. He says that, if they were an animus, they would've figured it out by now.

Lagoon on the other hand wants to use this exam to weed out the animus dragons quickly. She wants another animus so she can use them in case the RainWings or MudWings try to do anything fishy, saying that they've been acting up. She views animus dragons less like actual people and more like tools for either how own vanity projects or for war.

^ Something very compelling to me here is how she uses she/her pronouns to refer to this imaginary animus they'll discover. Why does she do that? That's...quite odd. Does she want Pearl to be the animus? Strange.

Lagoon once again uses the Sapphire incident as leverage over Albatross. This is our first introduction scene to these characters and we've established that Lagoon is antagonistic and kind of a prick. She reminds Albatross of this without batting an eye. I like to personally think that she isn't as bothered by the mauling of her sister as Albatross is. Albatross was traumatized by the event and the guilt of it all has followed with him for his entire life. Lagoon on the other hand doesn't exactly seem too bothered with the idea of bringing it up just to remind Albatross about what he's done, reminding him that, no matter what he does, he destroyed Sapphire's life.

Albatross shows his disdain for being used as a tool for Lagoon. He's given her everything she wants, yet she does not feel fully satisfied with it. He also mentions he does not want an apprentice. Headcanon: I think Albatross isn't fond of the idea of having an apprentice because he kinda just hates the concept of Lagoon having another animus to look after. Honestly? I fully believe that if Fathom discovered his magic on his own time and approached Albatross privately about it, Albatross would've trained him but he would INSIST that he NEVER tell Lagoon about it. He doesn't want to doom another dragon to his fate.

!! Lagoon reacts to this aggressively. She hisses and snarls at him over this slight resistance. It shows that she's not one for the idea of Albatross ever standing up for himself. It's never been about what Albatross wants. He's barely even a dragon in her eyes. He's just a breathing wish-making device that looks ugly as hell to her.

Albatross submits. Headcanon: I think Albatross is always anxious and tries controlling himself constantly because he doesn't want to hurt Lagoon the same way he did with Sapphire. It's...very hard not to, though...

I like thinking that Albatross did the coconut thing because he was so confident that there wouldn't be an animus dragons. I also like thinking that he thought it would be something to entertain the dragonets. Like...imagine being nine or something and you're told you could hit the Pope with a basketball if you just yell at the ball. Silly.

^ Also in the Guide, Albatross says it's much easier and a lot more safe to enchant a coconut to float or something. It characterizes him as actually caring about the safety of the tribe and putting in far more thought and care into the exams than Lagoon ever could.

Albatross is bored by doing these tests. Fathom is amazed however by simply watching the coconut fly over to him.

^ Interestingly, Fathom is spooked and scared. He's unsure if the test will hurt him. He's anxious that, somehow, Albatross has enchanted the coconuts to react if somebody touched it.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to throw it at you?" BWAHWHUDHAIDUH-- INDIGO AHHHH

^ Albatross laughs at this. He's amused by the response, finding humour in such a simple question. Silly guy.

Interesting note of animus magic here is that you have to command something to do what you want. You don't ask it. You order it. Fascinating.

BONK!!

IT BROKE BONES??? I mean, obviously. It's a giant dense coconut flying at him at the speed of a bullet. Of course.

Pearl you goddamn rat.

HAHAHAHAHAH OH MY GODDDDDD how could people read this book without understanding that Lagoon is clearly evil and Wrong? "You are going to do such great things for m- for your tribe" AHAHAHHA

^ Actually obsessed with how shitty the royal SeaWing family is. That's such a silly thing of Tui to do.

Albatross is happy!! Again, going back to that headcanon I talked about, I think Albatross would like to train Fathom, but rather he doesn't want to be replaced or to sentence Fathom to a life of constantly serving a bitchy queen. That's something to worry about later. For now, everything is happy and nice.

Chapter 3

Private magic lessons with grandpapa.

I actually adore Indigo and Fathom oh my goddd they're so sweet...

Really love the interactions here. It's quite fun and goofy between all of the characters.

Fathom listened to Albatross's wishes to have him save his animus magic. Albatross knows the dangers that animus magic holds, and Fathom wants to listen to his grandpapa. Fathom really does look up to and love Albatross. He's so sweet and untraumatized <3

HANDWRITING!!! USE OF THE WORD HAND!!! NOT TALON!! HAND!!!!!

I always forget the Island Palace was a thing and the massacre wasn't at the Summer Palace you mean to tell me that this bitch needed THREE palaces????? One of which only really existing as a means for PARTIES??? Gott DAMN Lagoon chill out.

^ Fuck it. Headcanon: Albatross lives at the Island Palace. Yeah yeah it's mostly used for parties and for political diplomats to sleep, but GOD I don't think Albatross could stand to live in the same palace as Lagoon. How about Albatross lived there with his wife and raised his kids there? Now he lives there alone. Boo hoo. He's the host whenever guests come to visit. He gets pissy that his house basically becomes a nightmareish party hellscape whenever his sister comes over.

^^ It's also pretty and I think Albatross would like it.

Albatross drags Fathom to the beach where he first discovered animus magic so he could really drill it in just how fucked up animus magic is. Epic.

Albatross is silly and goofy!! He is happy and having fun and is excited to teach Fathom the ways of being a wizard. Fathom inversely is so inexperienced and gullible. Silly guy.

Something to note: So far, Albatross really hasn't been talked about like he's...stern or rude. He's only bothered by Lagoon's antics and demands. I think he's a fairly good and friendly dragon, but it just extremely annoyed by Lagoon (completely understandable)

GOD he's full of so much whimsy and joy. He's so silly. I love this little guy (I am talking about an old traumatized dragon)

Fathom describes this interaction as being new and slightly odd, as Albatross was always seen as some distant and powerful figure. A dragon of importance that was always too busy. He was always nice and friendly, but never exactly...there. Now? He gets to see how he really is: SILLY!!!

Further showing how much Albatross is having fun via by describing him jumping into the ocean with him "splashing into the sea".

Lagoon requested Albatross show Fathom the palace just in-case Albatross dies before it's finished. Now, I know I'm biased, but from how things happen later on, I feel Lagoon was plotting to dispose of Albatross the moment Fathom was discovered to be an animus. She wanted Fathom to pick up where Albatross left off. Fathom would be a new, better, more presentable animus.

^ Albatross doesn't know about this plot, so he goes along with it. He's excited to teach Fathom!!

Again, Albatross shows that he's a lot more considerate and aware. He's cautious and thoughtful. He purposefully stretches out the creation of the Summer Palace so that it doesn't cause any damage to the ecosystem.

Fathom stfu your gandpapa cares about the environment. He didn't mess up the spell, he just didn't want the ocean to explode or whatever.

Albatross is supportive of Fathom's idea to create a cover of leaves over the Summer Palace, but this is where Albatross gets serious and tells Fathom he needs to think and plot out his spells. Albatross does not want Fathom to use up his soul carelessly or to make rash and impulsive choices without thinking them through clearly. I think this fear of Fathom misusing his magic was instilled by, again, the Sapphire incident. He doesn't want Fathom to follow in his footsteps.

TRAUMA STORY TIME!!!

Albatross is obviously telling this story to Fathom as a) exposition for his backstory and b) to tell Fathom that he needs to be careful with his magic. It is not a toy. It is a powerful, dangerous force.

Fathom is hopeful and still thinks Albatross isn't really capable of harm as he assumes that his first enchantment was something grand and wonderful.

Literally how does anybody read this and come away thinking that Lagoon was entirely innocent here. Fathom literally reflects on Albatross's comment on them doing "normal brother-sister teasing", which is Sapphire and Lagoon coming down and bullying him until he snapped back at them. Fathom is like: "...I don't think that's normal brother-sister teasing, grandpapa."

AUGHHHH LAGOON YOU'RE THE WORST,,, classist loser. Treating Indigo badly and saying that, by keeping her around, they're "coddling the lower class". She obviously views herself as being better and superior to common SeaWings.

Sapphire and Lagoon are the worst. "Everything you have will be mine when I'm queen" ughhhhh

Such a terrible event shaped Albatross in a way that cannot fully be described. It scarred him. It was the first time he had used his magic, and it was to harm his sister. It was a simple mistake, yet he can never live it down. He blames himself for it. Lagoon on the other hand uses it as a means to control him. Manipulate his trauma and guilt-trips him into doing what she wants.

I blame TF2 for making me have a knee-jerk reaction to the word "spy". Albatross literally saying "a spy?" when he notices Indigo watching them made me think of the french guy.

Aww,,,Blob....

Chapter 6

oh no

Lagoon is becoming more rude towards Indigo since Fathom was revealed to be an animus. Again, she hates how she had a commoner dragon frolicking around with royals.

Lagoon more or less hosts these parties as vanity projects for her to show off everything grand about her (which was basically done by Albatross after she manipulated him into using his magic). I'm willing to bet she doesn't care really at all about what happens from a political standpoint, so long as she's known as some grand and glorious queen.

Fathom mentions that Lagoon is "skilled with diplomatic meets" because she has the power of an animus behind her. Again, she mostly relies on Albatross and his magic to be feared.

Fathom wearing jewelry that also matches the stuff Albatross wears. I wonder if that was set up by Lagoon.

IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE THE TEST?? Okey then.

These Fathigo moments are melting my heart. Tui....

BWAHAHWHAHUWDHAIWUHAI--- I always forget how charming and silly these books are. Ahhhh this is so cute and fun.

Blah blah blah let us get back to old murder man. It's THE chapter after all.

So after three years, Albatross is still too spooked to let Fathom do more than basic spells. Is he fearful? Perhaps at this point he knows about Lagoon's plot to replace him and wants to live longer. It's hard to tell. Three years is a large timeskip. A lot could happen in that gap.

I think Albatross has become a lot more...quiet and estranged since then. He completely erased the work that Fathom had made. He's a bit more erratic. If there's one thing I wish we got, it would be a better explanation for this. Something HAD to have happened in order for him to have a personality shift like this.

He's described as being unexcited when they finally completed the palace. Perhaps this was the moment. I think that, yeah, Albatross figured out that his time is up. He's going to die. Lagoon is probably going to kill him off and replace him with Fathom. I headcanon that Lagoon killed Albatross's wife, which he probably could've figured out by now as well, so him finally completing the palace would mean he's obsolete. He's finished. There's no use for him anymore. He'll be disposed.

I don't think he planned the massacre. It was rather him finally reaching a breakpoint and going "fuck it, if I'm dying tonight, I'm taking down as many other dragons as I can". He would've been repulsed by the idea, but at this point he just straight up doesn't care. I think when he first approached Lagoon he wanted to sort things out with her, but as it became increasingly obvious that she was going to be unreasonable, he just pulled out the knife and dealt with her himself.

I hate you Lagoon.

There's no real point in me describing this part. It's Lagoon just basically showing off Albatross's creations to the very-not-okay-with-animus-dragons SkyWing royals. Her head is so far up her own ass she just doesn't care.

Big fight happens.

The reactions from the other dragons are interesting. Manta, Splash, and Reef all react with anxiety and tense up. They know that Albatross isn't in a Good Mood, or perhaps they are a little aware that Albatross is going to be disposed of and Lagoon is practically throwing rocks at the bear now. No longer is she poking the bear with a stick. She's pretty much just hurling rocks and telling it that she's going to kill it.

Definitely when I rewrite this scene it's gonna be a lot more dramatic. I mean, it's the climax of Albatross's story. The big moment everyone knows. It deserves to be slightly more bombastic than this.

KNIFE!!!

Chapter 8

Still endlessly amused by there being a Clearsight chapter right before this.

Murder dragon becomes murder dragon chapter, lets go.

Straight up doesn't care anymore. Again, like I said before, I think he wants to go out with a bang. Headcanon: I don't think Albatross was at all content with how his life went. Yeah, he's the most respected dragon in the tribe, but at the cost of being a little pet for his sister to boss around. At this point he is Done with everything. Its gone fully into a manic episode.

^ Something like this as well, I don't think he liked the parties at all. Circling back into the Island Palace being his home, he hates his house basically being turned into a playground for Lagoon to show off. I also think he just generally doesn't like parties because they're loud and bother him. I'm 100% adding in my animus curse headcanon into this winglet, so with the added bonus of him being sensitive to sound it makes him yearn for peace and quiet. He's just getting that wish in a bloody and brutal way.

Interesting that Fathom tries DEFENDING Albatross even after he's fully aware that he killed Lagoon on purpose and is going after the SkyWings. He's in denial. He still loves his grandpapa and doesn't want to think he would actually do any of this. If he did, it was for a good reason, right? He would stop soon, right?

MANTA NO NONONONON NOOOOOO OH MY GOD NOOO THIS IS SO SAD NOONONONONOOO Manta is Albatross's daughter, by the way. She's trying to reason with her father.

Finally the realization is beginning to set into Fathom that, yeah, his grandpapa is going to kill everyone.

Ouughhhhh I wish Tui did more horrific moments like this. Having Albatross come into the room and act all like a horror monster is so good. She's really good with writing tension in these scenes. Love it.

Interesting that Albatross would point out Fathom's lack of an imagination of all things. Perhaps he's reaching for straws for anything that makes him better than Fathom. Reasons for why he should've been seen as a good and worthy animus.

Again, with Albatross mentioning here how he wants to kill Fathom up close, it's less about the killing them to him. It's the joy and release from watching the life drain from their eyes. To finally show how powerful he is. To show that he deserves to be seen as powerful and more than just a lapdog for Lagoon.

^ Albatross also sees Fathom as the reason for Lagoon disposing him. Albatross blames Fathom for it. If it wasn't for Fathom, he could've lived on with his miserable existence for a while longer. Maybe he could've shown Lagoon what he thought of her then.

Annnddd Albatross is dead within like two paragraphs. Yippeee.

Honestly if I'm doing this I'm giving his ass a Breaking Bad ending with him managing to live on and limp over to a place that's important to him before dying. RIP bozo.

[tarditzgrade]

this is probably my last fic for greenflower week. i've got no ideas for the other prompts so i'm gonna work on compiling them into a ao3 fic that'll go up tomorrow maybe probably. besides that though

Day 4 - Healing/Hurt

Lloyd finds Brad after he got in a fight and offers to help bandage his wounds.

around 1082 words :). tw/cw for mentions of blood and violence. it's not gratuitous and the injury is kept kinda vague, but it's still there.

“I still can’t believe you got into a fight.” Lloyd called from the bathroom.

“I still can’t believe the guy had the audacity to scratch me.” Brad responded from his spot on the couch. He turned over his forearm to get a better look at the scratches that ran up it. That guy must’ve had talons on him.

Brad readjusted the ice pack Lloyd had given him earlier. Oh, how the tables had turned. Usually it was Lloyd showing up at Brad’s place in the middle of the night because he got beat up.

This time, Lloyd had found Brad beat up after fighting with some guy in the city. According to Brad’s own assessment, he thought he was fine to patch himself up, but Lloyd insisted on going with him to his place to help out.

“Where’d you say the bandages were, again?”

“Middle shelf of the cabinet. The rest of the first aid stuff should be there, too.”

“Oh, I see it.”

Several clatters could be heard following that statement, supposedly the sound of many plastic items hitting the floor.

“Sorry! I dropped a few things.”

“It’s fine.” Brad moved the ice pack he held on his side again. Maybe he should get something to put in-between him and the ice. This cold was starting to feel biting and his shirt didn’t seem to be enough. “Can you grab a small towel while you’re back there?” Brad called.

“Yup.” Lloyd responded.

Brad sighed and looked back at the scratches on his arm. None of them were too major on their own and they had all stopped bleeding a bit ago. The issue was that they were numerous. It was like he had gotten mauled by a cat, but instead it was a grown-ass man.

“Okay, I don’t know if this is all needed, but better safe than sorry, right?” Lloyd came back into the room with a few medical supplies. “Here’s the towel.”

“Thanks.” Brad accepted the towel and placed it between the ice pack and his shirt. Yeah, that felt better.

Lloyd placed the stuff he brought down on the coffee table, then pulled Brad’s arm closer to him. He grimaced. “What’d you even do to get this scratched up?”

“If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy. I think I caught him across the face once or twice.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Lloyd sat down next to Brad to look at his arm better. “Since when did you get into fights?”

“I mean, I went to Darkley’s, too, so I’m no stranger to it. But this was an exception. He started it and I was just defending myself.”

“Well, as long as this doesn’t become a pattern, I guess it’s fine. The scratches are just on this arm, right?”

“I think so.” They had already cleaned the wounds earlier, with Lloyd running Brad’s arm under the water himself. Brad, again, felt that he could’ve done all this on his own, and expressed this to Lloyd, but Lloyd asserted that he wanted to help.

Lloyd made a move for the pile of medical stuff before stopping, hesitant to select something.

“Are you okay, Lloyd?”

“Yeah, uh, do you apply ointment for stuff like this or just skip straight to the bandages?”

“…you don’t know?”

Lloyd picked up one of the tubes of ointment. “Not really. When I get hurt, I just put a bandage on it until someone else who’s better at this stuff can come look at it. Sometimes I don’t even bandage it if I’m short on time.”

“That’s usually how cuts get infected.”

“Probably,” was all Lloyd had to answer. Before Brad could fire back his concerns, Lloyd had decided on an answer to his previous question. “Y’know what? Let’s just do the ointment, anyways. It can’t hurt.”

“Are you sure?”

“Kinda.” And without further elaboration, Lloyd applied ointment to the first cut.

It didn’t hurt, and Brad didn’t expect it to. It was Lloyd’s determination that surprised him more than anything.

Lloyd worked quietly and diligently, individually rubbing ointment into each cut. Brad let him sit in silence and watched as he did. Despite his apparent ineptitude with this kind of stuff, he seemed to be fairly confident with his methods.

Occasionally, he’d ask Brad if he was doing alright or if he needed another ice pack, but Brad told him he was okay.

“Okay,” Lloyd rubbed ointment into the final wound. “I think that’s the last one. The rest are too tiny to care about.”

“If something happens with those, I’ll tell you.” Brad turned his arm over to verify what Lloyd had done. “What now?”

“Bandages, probably. Do you want, like, one big wrap or a bunch of tiny ones?”

Brad laughed at the thought of his arm riddled with tiny band-aids. “The wrap is probably more practical.”

“Okay, just making sure.” Lloyd found a roll of bandages in the pile he brought out and began wrapping it around Brad’s forearm.

“So you don’t do any of the medical stuff for the team?” Brad asked.

“Nope. Only reason I’m in the infirmary is if I’m hurt.” He tapped Brad’s arm to signal he was done.

“I think you should try helping out there more. You did a great job with this one.” He leaned over to plant a kiss on Lloyd’s cheek. “Thanks for taking care of me, green bean.”

Lloyd smiled at the nickname. “Anytime.” He gathered up all the medical supplies on the table and went to put them back in the bathroom.

Brad watched him go. Damn, he was lucky. Lloyd didn’t have to do this. He had a whole city to watch over. But instead he took the time to stop and help him out with something as small as this, even if it wasn’t entirely his forte.

What did he do to deserve someone like Lloyd?

Lloyd came back after a bit, but he didn’t sit down. “Anyways, you should rest up. Don’t forget to change the bandages after a while. And watch those bruises.”

“I will.” Brad responded. If Lloyd was gonna stop and help, Brad might as well indulge. “Do you have any plans after this?”

“Well, it's late, so no, I don’t.”

“You wanna stay the night? I’m not doing anything tomorrow morning.”

Lloyd thought about it, but ultimately agreed. “Sure. As long as it’ll keep you out of fights.”

“It probably will.”

[captainjacklyn]

Because I’m in a chaotic mood can I request specifically for Arcana Twilight, with a MC who has a pet ferret that hides in their sleeves and pops out to bite someone and it’s really hard to pry the ferret off.

Once the ferret bit Sirius in his balls and wouldn’t let go for a whole 5 minutes.

And the ferret basically acts like a cock block - 💀🤚

HOLY- I like your chaotic energy lets GOOOOOOOOO ! (Sirius your gonna suffer, you little sh*t). I really wanted to name the ferret so if you don't mind, it's name is gonna be precious. Literally precious.

You can ask me to change it ofc. Since the number of characters wasn't mentioned I assumed you wanted me to write for all of them and although I only accept at a maximum of three or was it four- ?

I'll make an exception but it won't be very long considering this is absolute crack.

Pairing(s) : spica x reader, Sirius x reader, pollux x reader, alpheratz x reader, arcturus x reader, Vega x reader.

Reacting to an Mc with a difficult pet ferret :

Alpheratz :

Keep that thing away from him-

No seriously he's covered in bite marks all over, just because you have an insanely overprotective, feral animal with you.

I just imagine him standing in front of you with his arm out displaying a very angry ferret on him.

Everything time he's about to do anything romantic the man is not met with your lips but the enraged bit marks of your so called 'precious'.

"Summoner- no- please- no I'm not scared-"

Rename that monstrosity and then we can talk peacefully, that thing is not adorable at all.

Arcturus

Oh brother-

I feel so bad for him because arcturus is all smiles while you're struggling to remove precious off his leg without RIPPING IT TO SHREDS.

How the hell did it get so strong ?!

"Precious, could you please let go off my boyfriend-"

"RAGNAGMANGANAGNMSBAGSNHG- !!!"

At first, arcturus found precious really cute and he still does. But it makes him a little bummed out knowing that it doesn't like him very much.

Don't be surprised when Arcturus starts to loose one or two fingers as your relationship lasts cause that animal of yours isn't gonna let that go.

Literally.

Pollux

I'm sorry- What is the difference ?

No but seriously those two have the same face for some reason. I can imagine the both of them just having a hissing contest as you just watch in disbelief.

Whenever you give precious more attention, he gets all pouty and waits for you to be done while sulking in a corner.

"Wha-! No I'm not jealous !"

"AHSJDKWGFYHKEWBN !!!"

I have no idea what a ferret sounds like so please bare with me You don't know what to do with those two.

It's difficult cause on one hand, you have pollux who is your wonderful boyfriend that seems to get jealous over an animal, and on the other hand (more like the other sleeve) you have precious who loves you as an owner and would probably chew his face into shreds.

...

choose summoner.

do it.

Vega

Now Vega finds your pet quite bothersome.

You need to understand that when this man says 'help' he means 'HOLY SH*T SAVE ME-'.

walks over to you asking if this...t h i n g..belongs to you.

It has a name ?

....

Precious ? Are you sure ?

....

Ok.

He frowns whenever he gets cockblocked by a fucking ferret, gets pouty and proceeds to also compete with it by that I mean your small as fuck killing machine.

"Summoner...Could you keep...precious away when we kiss..It keeps hissing."

Spica

This man is so confused.

Why does it hate him so much ?

He also doesn't understand why you're giggling about the whole situation. He got mauled by an animal the size of two apples, and you're laughing ?

"It's...protective..? Ha."

"..."

"Please throw it out the window."

Sirius

R.I.P this man's nuts cause they don't exist anymore.

No more nut to nut my guy.

Precious just won't stop biting, it just won't stop brutalizing this man's testicles I can assure you that.

But like..listen, as much as I dislike Sirius for being the asshole he is in the game and the fact that I'm a woman doesn't help.

I can still feel the pain- AND IT'S SO BAD !

He may have done some fucked up sh*t but that punishment is honestly not fitting the crime.

Cause like seriously-

PRECIOUS, PLEASE HAVE SOME FUCKING MERCY FOR THIS DUDE AND STOP TRYING TO SHOVE HIS BALLS DOWN INTO HIS SPINAL CORD !?

MY GUY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE BALLS ANYMORE, THOSE ARE JUST PANCAKES

Thank you for reading.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Gabriel

Well he's an angel so I'm taking him being catholic as canon. There are a lot of themes in the game that point to catholisism specifically.

He's so fucking funny. he listens to nine inch nails and quotes one of the songs in a fight basically "fight me like an animal". he and v1 kind of have this yuri thing going on. he has an official bodypillow. hes a metaphor for being excommunicated and no one gets him like me and my friends do

The *true* Catholic experience is leaving the church and having a gay awakening, ask anyone

its debatable if Gabriel truly believes he's "the one true savior" or is mocking the idea of it

ok im actually gonna write some gabe propaganda bc despite what you may expect from a game called ULTRAKILL theres a lot to be said about his character and how catholicism is represented

Gabriel is a genuinely caring person who struggles to square his desire to help people with his duty as an archangel. He's the only one in Heaven trying to make things better for those in Hell, but his faith is used to manipulate him into committing atrocities against the people he used to protect (see the "TRAITOR" mural in 4-2)

he only realizes his mistakes after losing everything and being sentenced to death, but he still decides with only a little time remaining to try and make things right. for the sake of spoilers i will just say that the measures he takes are... extremely drastic and very enjoyable. i just really like the idea that even facing the end of all living things, no matter how steep your crimes, it is never too late to fix your mistakes. you are never unworthy forgiveness.

hes also SO FUCKING GAY for this dumb little robot. it mauled him so hard he tasted his own blood and he fell in love right there. theres no way this guy has a normal healthy relationship to pain he is soooooooooo fucked. i love him. please vote for Gabriel "patron saint of gay lapsed catholics" Ultrakill !!!!!!!!

Shadow

In sonic destruction (the AI generated fan thing snapcube made a while ago) shadow was catholic or something which I think is reallyyyyyyy funny

Ok listen. I know this is a stretch but hear me out. He says “oh my God” in the Twitter takeovers so we know this is a possibility. I see him as a Christ-like figure because I saw his whole confrontation with Mephiles and was like “this is a thing that happened in the Bible??” and the pose Mephiles shows him in is literally like a crucifixion and Mephiles is meant to be a demon / false prophet reference. And also he’s called a demon in Shadow The Hedgehog 2005 then the guy who calls him that is like “I was wrong I’m sorry” and that also reminds me of a thing with Jesus in The Bible. But the biggest reason is his whole thing with Maria cause I think he’d come to earth and hear Ave Maria once and convert to Catholicism idk he’s like we’re comforted by a female familial figure named Mary sometimes called Maria?? And her color is blue????? Heck yeah I’m in because I Will Cry. Also feel free to share this as propaganda obv even if he doesn’t get in the bracket just. It’s funny.

I feel like he’d battle a lot with being seen or portrayed as a demon and how the aliens he’s related to very much look and act like demons idk lmao- and also I feel like confession would just be good for him I think he needs it for his mental health

There is a debate on the lovely website tunblr that Shadow T. Hedgehog is an allegory for Jesus Christ.

He is Jesus, idk what to tell you. He lived, he was sealed away, he was awakened again and deemed the ultimate lifeforms, he’s angry but not evil, does what he believes is best for people and the world at any given time. Total loser.

[x-authorship-x]

What do you think would Fox and Shisui think of each other if they ever met?

Oh anon.... Honestly I love both of these characters to pieces but imagining them meeting...!!!

Fox would think Shisui is... Someone who needs watching. This is a guy who is pretty young, by nat-born standards, but obviously frighteningly skilled, and the origins of those skills would be REALLY suspect. He is also clearly lying a lot, Fox would clock this immediately, and Fox doesn't like bullshit but especially not Force Bullshit. However Shisui is earnest and protective of individuals as well as big-picture peace, and he's much more brutal than the Jedi which will appeal to a man like Fox who doesn't have a Jedi General and has been pushed to the edge by the Senate, so I think Fox would warm up to him. Given Shisui's strong moral code but his willingness to be absolutely brutal, and his familiarity with death and his trump-card experience with mental/sensory manipulation, I think he would be a great ally for Fox and Fox would eventually know this. Fox might be frustrated out of his mind but Shisui is now in his inner circle of Ride Or Die and this is amazing ✨

Shisui would see Fox, the horrible circumstances of his birth and the abuse from the Senate (let's be real here, I'm running how I want this to run and IDGAF if it's more fanon than canon), and want to help. (Shisui, looking around: is no one gonna fix this mess? Also Shisui: *leaps in without waiting for an answer*). He has experience with investigation, both in ANBU and the Uchiha Police, and it's almost impossible for him to keep his nose out 😅 Fox is strong and gruff but he's no where near as... highbrow? as Shisui's Clansmen, who wore their heritage and position as a shield as much as a badge of honour, whilst the clones are proud bht very careful with their identity... Shisui keeps bracing for political maneuvering and yet Fox is... refreshing. He's so protective of his brothers, not like the Uchiha were defensive, because Fox would do ANYTHING for his brothers and so long as they're alive and whole etc then that's what matters but he's also tied so strongly to his sense of duty that theyre dealing with the crumbling Senate anyway and Shisui is kinda starry eyed for that kind of love and responsibility? Shisui is HERE for Fox being a total king of protectiveness

Well now I'm thinking 'palpatine gets pissed by Maul acting out and tries to SUMMON a new slave/apprentice only to get Shisui who snaps his neck on instinct and this leaves Shisui, who looks like That Sith The Jedi Have Been Looking For, pinned as the assassin of Darling Supreme Chancellor (not exactly wrong so the Force isn't registering any lies lmao), being chased by Fox, investigating the murder, and Anakin, who is absolutely not interested in the rule of law

So Shisui springs up, like the universe-shattering lunatic he is, and fucks up canon BAD. fox is like WHO IS THIS WEIRDO RUNNING UP WALLS AND BABBLING AN UNKNOWN LANGUAGE AND MAKING MY LIFE EVEN HARDER. shisui is like MAN THIS COP IS EVEN WORSE AT RIDING MY ASS THAN MY UNCLE AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING. Cue mutual begrudging (for Fox) respect and mounting frustration as they run around like *Scooby Doo Chase music* whilst Palpatine's corpse is smouldering in the BG.

I think Fox, who is a hardass but also is low-key like 'Fuck Palpatine', would be like THIS IS MY MURDERER, IDGAF WHAT SKYWALKER IS WAILING, DONT SHOOT MY SUSPECT. which means that, naturally, Shisui tries to extend the olive branch of working together to figure out the truth, Fox is like 'oh god no now I am believing in this Force bullshit', and you have 'law-abiding/jaded/hurt/bamf hard-shell-soft-center character' forced into partnering with 'wanted-criminal/jaded/hurt/bamf sunshine character' and I think this is an adventure for the books👏✨

[maulfucker]

Poast about the "fucking some guy" saga behind the scenes because I can't shut up about it :]

The idea of this series started as just some Maul porn (possibly as a kinda flashback in what became They finally fuck each other this time) where he fucks a guy. Originally i was thinking of going with a twi'lek because they're what we see as sex workers the most in canon, and also the idea of them having two dicks (to match the two headtails) entertains me

As mentioned before, the base of They finally fuck each other this time is actually a wip I've had for Months and didn't know where to go with

There was a scene in the wip where Obi-Wan gives Maul a patdown to check if he's really unarmed, but it was not homoerotic enough and felt kinda out of place and out of character so I cut it

(There were also supposed to be more scenes with Bo-Katan, but once again. did not fit well enough.)

There was gonna be a scene like right after they fuck where Obi-Wan gets a call from the Jedi Council because he's been gone and out of contact for Hours so of course they're worried. and he's like. "oh don't worry I was just having a conversation with a slightly paranoid possible new ally. nothing much going on :) " [<- his neck is visibly covered in hickeys and bite marks]

[yoda voice] some bacta you need. terrible post coital manners your new friend has.

The original original idea continues well after where I ended the series, and involved Maul being imprisoned after Bo-Katan gets the throne except he's put in like. a ray-shielded apartment. and Obi-Wan has to live with him. because there's no way simple technology can keep a Force user imprisoned so they should have a jedi guard him, and Bo-Katan asked him so nicely, how could he possibly refuse to submit to the torture of living a domestic life with his nemesis with benefits.

And from then on it's all just. silly gay slice of life.

Like.

Very awkward jedi visits because everyone wants to see how Obi-Wan is doing but they're all distrustful of Maul even though he's just. vibing in his corner. sipping tea or reading a book. ignoring everyone staring at him.

VERY awkward Anakin and Padmé visit because he Senses she is pregnant and the children (he can feel it's twins) are Force-sensitive and he's like. well that's Interesting [<- doing his best not to bring up the topic of fucking jedi]

(the visit slowly turns into talking about the merits of leaving the Jedi Order for love and how that's totally fine and not a betrayal of one's morals and if someone wanted to stop being a jedi to go marry a senator and become a father that would be totally fine Anakin we would all be so happy for you. hypothetically.)

A mandalorian tries to "jailbreak" Maul but he's like. I'm fine where I am, so no thank you. and this probably happens like once a month.

Arguing about tea (it's like a hobby for them) (force help anyone who visits them during these arguments, they WILL force people to take sides)

And more!

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

Darth maul be upon ye, the long awaited (probably) Part 2

FINALLY I return to finish my thoughts about the homie maul. Who knows if my writing can all fit, I don't even know the tumblr rules for writing lmao. So this is gonna be like Maul's loving style, and shit like. Mmm. Aat least how I think about it. Enjoy lmao. Part 2 of 2 (I wrote a lot) Warnings: None. (I think)

"I'm frustrated that my words cannot accurately describe your allure, the feeling of power that rolls off you in the same way waves crash against a shore, the way… just the way you live and breathe! It's as if the entire universe was meant to bow at your feet and sing your praises. At the end of time, if no soul takes your side, I will. Know even in your darkest nights and bleakest days that among the stars, there is a heart that beats for you and all you are. No matter what atrocity you claim to be. You told me you were a monster when we first met. Maybe I still need to see it. You still need to show me… Perhaps I'm a fool, letting my heart bleed for you. But even then in the scourge of your wrath, I would be there to wipe the sweat from your brow in the midst of your misdeeds to the galaxy." -Another bit of a letter about homie Maul. Love writing about this bitch.

Okay so Maul is the KING of slow burn. No fuckin doubt about it. Wanna know why? Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to Maul. He has to trust you, he has to know you aren't selling him out to his enemies. Because maker knows he's probably got a ton of 'em. The Jedi are on his ass, fuckin Palpatine, I mean, you try trusting someone in a galaxy against you huh? It takes him a while to trust you, and then some extra time to warm up on loving you. You probably won't even notice when he starts liking you because at most he'll probably not be so harsh with you. Maybe he'll use less insults, or won't glare so much at you, but he will definitely hide it behind some 'you are the only one who has not tested my ire' type shit. I mean he's so emotionally constipated he probably won't even know what he's feeling when he's around you and will try to beat his feelings out of his system by training or meditating. SO I take a pinch of my previous statement back. I have a feeling this guy is hostile (or at least passive aggressive) to everyone at first no matter what the circumstance. So, Enemies to lovers slow burn king. (which is Ironic because I am not good at slow burn skjhdlskj) When he FINALLY gets over his emotional constipation and gets a brick to the face with realization that he is crushing and crushing HARD, he is going to slowly start courting you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry but he's a total fucking loser when it comes to romance and it shows. Like his anger may fuel up around you again because he doesn't know how to talk to you, what to talk to you about, or how to get closer to you without seeming weak or you know...anything like that. But like, the efforts he does make are so pathetically obvious and strangely out of character for him (and objectively, it's kind of cute watching him stumble over himself) you can't help but be swayed by his...'seduction tactics.' But YOU. You have to be the one to ask him on a date. Because he's just. He's too prideful okay? Stooping to such LOWS like...Affection. He grows out of that, don't worry. But like when you do ask him he's fucking floored. Almost literally. He has to keep himself calm and not trip over his word's and he's like "okay, let me choose an adequate location for us to be alone so that it doesn't seem like I'm showing any kind of weakness" Or something along those lines. He might accidentally insult you but please be patient he is legit trying his best. Outside of that when you finally have him wifed up (/hj) he is still awkward, new to this but trying his best. Don't expect him to be affectionate anywhere outside of his bedroom until he's comfortable with showing off you or this 'new side' to anyone. It doesn't mean he spends no time with you otherwise, it means his affections will be reserved to hushed whispers and small favors. Perhaps this manifests through seeking you out in the corridors, or providing you with little gifts that would appear meaningless to anybody else. It may take a while for his affections to become grander in the open, but one day it would happen. Unless you tried to force it out of him before he was ready then you're probably gone. He would make a laughing stock out of anyone who claimed affections for another were foolish and made him weak. NO. Hell no. He's soft for you but he can still kick ass. Obviously. I'm sure he would be rather possessive, I just know he would fear losing you. He absolutely uses that as a reason to usually be touching you in some way. Pinky fingers linked, his foot nudging yours, etc. He doesn't want to wake up and find you gone, find that all of this was for naught and dreams and peace really don't exist for him. He would spend as much time as he could learning everything about you. He would be so fucking devoted to you it would make your head spin. He'd know your favorite color, flower, time of day, place to be, things to eat, and he'd keep everything you didn't like away from you. To the best of his ability at least.

Went a little hard with this one, stuffed it full with as many words as I could lol. Hope you enjoyed. Spice may be available later upon request, here's the first part.

Until next time!

Ciao~ -Enigma

[runawaysiren940]

My apologies if this sounds rude and condescending, I'm currently watching your videos

But how are we (men) surpose to be not apathetic towards children in general and not automatically put the burden on women

When at the same time, you constantly talk about statistics and stranger danger, and how super likey I'm going to assault an child based on my sex

Like I genuinely want to look out for children, and I agree with you that we as a society should look out for them,

But I can't if most of you guys (or gals) are just going see me and go "oh yeah, he's definitely gonna assault them"

It makes me just not want to brother

It's a Catch-22 in a sense. I don't mean to imply that every man out there is a predator in waiting, but statistically, men are more likely to commit sexual abuse. However, if men are forever expected to only have an unnatural interest in children, there will never be equality within the household for childcare.

For one, I'm a feminist with a pretty radical view of things. Most women are not going to agree with me on this, and happily marry and live with men. I don't necessarily think my view of things is representative of most women.

But let's say that this was a more common viewpoint. It's a bit like having a pit bull. A lot of pit bulls are very sweet, and gentle dogs. However, the majority of dog bites are from pit bulls. You hear the most mauling stories about these dogs. Does that mean you can't have one? No. It does mean that you might have extra attention, and caution though, especially given that most child abuse comes from those who closely know the child (crimes need opportunity, desire and ability to be committed). For example, working in childcare or schools, or even within families, a lot of abuse gets ignored when children try to report it. Sometimes people overlook red flags out of a desire to see the best in other people.

What it comes down to is: Would you rather be a little uncomfortable with additional safeguards, or would you prefer if the abuse of children was overlooked to assuage your ego? As a teacher, I have to get extensive background checks, close supervision, we often work in pairs etc; and yes, these are annoying to deal with at times, but I'd prefer to participate because it is worth it to me to help prevent child abuse where I can.

[anns-works]

Jay, Lloyd and (and Morro) Things.

The Trenchcoat Adventure™.

On the same week as that, they crashed into a stranger's meet up to thank them for being understanding enough that night when working as a cashier. Making their day.

Like literally, so many late night snack runs...

Introducing Lloyd to the League Of Jay was the best (kid got a chance to be a kid again) and the worst (they forgot how much of a gremlin he used to be) thing Jay did.

Lloyd took up art with Scott by graffitiing the walls of Cliff Gordon's mansion.

Once Jay and Lloyd disappeared off the face of the earth and everyone started panicking cuz they thought they got kidnapped. Found them two weeks later on the other side of the continent after Lloyd called saying Jay was in the hospital. Turns out he had a severe allergic reaction after the café they were having brunch at messed up their orders and put peanuts in his food.

Disappeared off the face of the earth AGAIN. But this time they came back a week later in their crumpled PJs looking like they got mauled by a feral racoon in a forest. A freshly revived Morro in tow.

Kai, having several breakdowns: GUYS WHAT THE FUCK-

Jay: Kai, chill. We got a guy who came back from the dead and is probably very understandably confused right now. Do you really wanna do this?

Kai, full on having a stroke: I'M-

Morro, vibing: Hey, is that ice cream.

On that note, never let these three be in a room together.

Jay and Lloyd are chaotic sure but with Morro they just lose all sense of morality and are down to commit multiple felonies at a moment's notice.

Jay and Lloyd: I'm just a silly little guy :)

Morro: *exists*

Jay and Lloyd: Ok its time to commit war crimes

Morro himself doesn't have to do anything, like he'll enter the room and his mere presence will be enough to trigger these bozos into committing arson. He's actually pretty chill.

Jay: I wanna add one of the ninjas into the League

Scott: Yeah, no. Not gonna happen

Jay: *sends a pic of Lloyd*

Scott:...Ok I'm willing to make an exception cuz they look very polite

Jay managed to convince Morro and Lloyd to help him mess w/ Zane's audio output and the next month they spent dealing with what was an increase of hostility towards the nindroid from the criminals.

Villain of the week: Hahahaha! I've got you now ninjas!

Zane, in a weird mesh of a australian and californian accent: You thought so smurf now get ready to eat this bread you thoty square!

Villain of the week: what the fuck

Also these guys in Trip (ninjago tumblr) are the best thing ever.

@ living-in-htis-windy-pain (Morro): This guy was declared dead abt a couple of months ago and today I get this message from him.

[Image description: Jay throwing a peace sign at the camera. He has white hair and pink-blue dual colored eyes. There is a blurry figure of Lloyd in the background staring at the camera. The caption reads "i lived bitch". End description.]

@ living-in-htis-windy-pain (Morro): i just started a 30-days free trial on having a normal life.

@ zappy-traffic-violation (Jay): where's the link?

@ thepoweroffriendship (Lloyd): WHERE'S THE FUCKING LINK OP?!?!?!