#gvf series

[gretavangroupie]

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 19.8k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Oral M! Receiving, Protected Sex.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

HER POV

The heat of your breath is fogging up the windows of the van as you drift in and out of a dazy snooze. The morning has already been long, with a wake-up time of 3:30AM to be on the van to the airport by 4:00AM. The flight to Amsterdam from Hamburg was short, only a little over an hour long, thank goodness. However, now all you can think about is getting checked into your hotel room and crashing back out for a couple of hours before you have to wake up again. 

Paul, Wes, and Corri are occupying the seats toward the front of the van, and you’re thankful you can let your head rest on the window in peace. Your AirPods are stuck in your ears with the volume just loud enough that you could hear if one of them spoke to you, but still enough to fully enjoy the music floating through your ears. You don’t even dare listen to the playlist Jake made for you, it almost puts a sour taste in your mouth just looking at it, especially after what happened last night. 

Of course Josh caught you. Of course it had to be him. But what is really still throwing you for a loop is why Josh felt he had to keep the encounter such a secret, locking his lips and doing away with the key. 

Jake hadn’t said anything about your last addition of ‘High and Dry’, but you chalked it up to him just wanting to diffuse the situation after you left the bar, alone. You thought he might walk you back, given the situation you’d found yourself in just two nights prior, but he didn’t. He stayed, and let you go. And thankfully you’d made it back safely by yourself. 

The more you think about it, the more you realize Jake had plenty of time to text a quick ‘Sorry about that’ or ‘We’ll talk tomorrow, goodnight…’ but he didn’t. Again. Just left you….high and dry. And what made it even worse was that as you were trying to fall asleep in your hotel room last night, you heard the faint sound of the song playing out in the hallway. Jake was coming back to his room, listening to the song you added for him as he meandered closer and closer. But instead of a knock on your door, all you heard was the latch of his closing. 

You find yourself feeling a little pissed off, because the moment you shared in the dark bathroom really felt like something. It was…very fucking hot, if you’re being honest. He felt good. He felt strong, and sturdy, but also gentle and delicate when he needed to be. You can almost still feel how he felt between your legs, pressed up against you as you sat on the edge of the sink. His hands on your back, mouth on your neck, fingertips digging into your thighs….

“Y/N! Let’s get out of here!” You hear Corri’s brash voice wake you from your rated-R daydream, and you have to blink a few times to get the image of Jake all over you out of your head. You stretch a little and pull the music from your ears as the cab light comes on, and the four of you exit the van. You check into your far too luxurious hotel room, and crash onto the bed without even bothering to change your clothes. 

—

Your alarm startles you two hours later, and surprisingly the cat nap has you feeling extremely refreshed. You jump from the bed and pull the curtains on the window, showing you the scene of a cloudy Amsterdam from your fourth-story room. You can feel the cold air moving through the window, and you know it’s going to be another bitterly chilly day. 

After a quick rinse-shower, you sit back on the bed to check your phone and emails and see you have a text from an unknown number from just ten minutes ago.

Unknown

9:02AM: Hey! We’re going to go see the city and walk around a little, you want to go?

You deduce that it is probably Mia or Lyla, and you contemplate on whether or not you want to even move from your bed today. But after a little thought, and another glance to the sun barely peeking through the clouds, you decide, why the hell not. You don’t want to see Jake, really, but the regret you’d feel for not seeing Amsterdam while you’re here would probably be worse. You send up a quick prayer that Josh will keep your secret today, and not make things any more awkward than they already are. 

You

9:04AM: Hey, sure! I’d love to 😊

Unknown

9:05AM: Cool! We’re leaving in an hour, we’ll meet up in the lobby. Dress warm!

9:05AM: This is Lyla, btw

You

9:06AM: Sounds great, see you in a bit

You lock your phone and stand up to finish getting dressed, adding on a few more layers to your already warm attire. Your stomach churns with nerves, but you’re excited to see the city and maybe get to know the girls a little better. Plus, Ruth is begging you for photos. 

Speaking of Ruth…

You grab your phone and pull it from the charging cord, bringing up her contact for a FaceTime call. It rings out, and you press your eyeball directly to the front camera lens.

“Shit, what the hell, cyclops!” She yells as you pull away snickering. 

“Why is it so dark in your room?” you ask, realizing you hadn’t even thought about the time difference. 

“Because it’s two o’clock in the fuckin’ morning here, dimwit! I answered because you scared me. Are you okay?” she spouts off with her voice cracking from sleep. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m fine,” you laugh a little as she rubs her eyes in the light of her phone screen. “I’m in Amsterdam, thought I’d give you a rundown but, you need to go back to sleep,” you say. 

“Ugh, if I didn’t have to wake up in three hours for work I would disagree with you. Yeah, just text me. Actually no, that will take too long. Send voice memos. Or a video or something.”

You take a quick breath. “I have a lot to tell you, Ruthie.”

“Fuck, seriously? Damn it, just…send something I don’t care. I gotta know. Is it bad news? It’s good news, right?” she goes on.

You roll your eyes a bit as you place your fingers over your mouth. “It’s…a lot. Good and, well not the best. Go back to sleep. I love you.”

“Kay nighty night.” Her last words were said with her eyes closed, and you know for a fact she’s already drifted back off into her slumber. 

You plop onto your bed and scroll social media for a few minutes as you try to kill time, feeling your stomach start to growl and grumble against the mattress below you. 

Maybe you should you add a song? 

No… You’d be seeing Jake in the next little bit, and you were the last one to make contact. This is up to him, if he even wants to. You stand and grab up your long, heavy coat, making sure you have everything you need for the day before taking off to the lobby to grab a quick breakfast and wait on everyone else. 

—

JAKE POV

The music swirling through the steamy air comes to a close as you spin the handle on the shower faucet, the water slowly trickling to a stop. The song she sent last night has been stuck in your head since you hung up with Isla, and you have let it be the soundtrack to your life in the hours since. You spent nearly the entire shower thinking about Y/N, listening along to the track and letting it seep into your bones. You thought about her, and only her for the past few days now. How you left her last night, and how you have yet to speak to her since. Even the plane ride this morning was spent in silence. You knew you needed to answer her song, say something to explain yourself. You were going to, you just had to figure it out, and now that you had time to sit down and think about it, uninterrupted, you would. 

Get out, dry off, get dressed and answer her. You had a plan, and you were sticking to it. 

You step out of the large walk in shower, wrapping the fluffy white towel around your waist. You take a second to look at your surroundings, remembering how only a few years ago you were all bringing towels from home, feeling lucky enough to shower in a rundown Motel 6 bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Your life had changed drastically in a matter of years, and it wasn’t long into that success when you first met Isla. 

She was a vision of auburn hair as she swept through the bar that night, so light and so carefree. You could see why Lyla and Sam had befriended her, her personality very much the same as theirs. It wasn’t long after that night that the two of you started seeing each other, things quickly becoming serious. A year later she moved into your house. It was like she was always there, making the space her own and sharing her days with you. She was with you as the band really started to make moves, never once complaining about the late nights or the long stretches of tour, that is, until she did. 

Things started to change last summer. The once light and vibrant girl you fell in love with had become catty and accusatory, her light burning out and her desire to be something other than your girlfriend dwindling away to nothing. It became her, consumed her, and suddenly you became an accessory instead of a partner. Nothing seemed to satisfy her anymore, and the time you could give her was never enough. She reminded you of that, often, as if there was anything you could do to change it. You fought like cats and dogs on any given day, each argument always ending in a band-aid resolution that never got you anywhere. 

There were the big ones, the ones that would have you on the couch at Josh’s or in the guest room at Sam’s. The ones they didn’t ask about because they knew better, instead opening their homes and lending their liquor cabinet. The ones that you didn’t dare mention, even months after the fact, for fear of starting it all over again. Those fights started to get closer and closer together, until you found yourself almost needing to chip in for your brothers’ mortgage payments.

You knew it was done. You knew it was over, but the problem wasn’t that you couldn’t do it. No, the problem was that every time you would try, it wouldn’t stick. Listening to her tell you that your reasons were never good enough, or that it would be too hard to end things before you left. It was always before you left, and this time was no different. 

Your phone buzzing on the bathroom counter snaps you back to reality, watching as it slowly inches its way closer and closer to the edge. You snatch it up as your hair drips down your back, sliding your finger across the glass as you scoff at the name on the Caller ID.

“Hello, Josh.”

“Oh, so they didn’t invite you either? Assholes…” he grumbles under his breath. 

“Invite me where? Who?” you ask, making your way back into the room.

“Sam and Daniel, and the girls I guess…” he pauses, “Just checked their location to see if they wanted to get brunch and they fucked off into town without us. Not even an invite.” 

“Really?” you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to check your texts. “Shit, yeah, I didn’t get a text from them either. Though, I did tell them I was gonna catch a few more hours of sleep when we got here. Can’t you just go with Ty?” You groan, knowing you really planned to stay in your room all day and binge watch Criminal Minds.

“No. He went for a massage a little while ago, so now you have to go with me,” he says matter of factly. 

“Do I? I don’t think I do, actually.”

“No, you do, it’s in the rule book,” he answers, an air of playfulness in his voice. 

“The rule book…Don’t think I got one of those,” you joke, pulling on a pair of boxers. 

“Yeah, they give it to the head twin, you know, the first one out,” he laughs. “I’m in charge, the book says so, and I say brunch with a Mimosa. If you’re good I’ll even get you a Bloody Mary, my treat. Meet me downstairs in like fifteen,” he says, ending the call before you even have a chance to decline. Fucker, he knew you too well. 

You quickly dress yourself, checking your phone no less than five times just to see if maybe she had said something, but still there is silence. Your plan has officially gone to shit, no surprise there. You promised yourself you’d do it when you got back. No excuses. You huff out a sigh as you spray your cologne, grabbing your wallet and your phone and shoving them into your coat pocket. You make your way downstairs to meet Josh, finding him lounging in a wingback chair nearly double his size. 

“Let’s go before I change my mind,” you offer, watching him spring out of the chair, his white Nike’s scuffing loudly against the marble tiles. 

“Did you text Dean?” you ask, pushing open the glass doors. 

“Yeah, the place I want to go is just a block away, said to call him if we need him but keep our wits about us. Told him I would, but can’t speak for you since you don’t have any.”

You stop walking and start to turn around, definitely not in the headspace for his antics today. He stops too, and you feel him grab your arm and sling you back in the right direction. 

“Alright, alright, sheesh, no games today, got it,” he says, feigning guilt. 

You walk in silence the rest of the way, ducking into a little cafe with a heated patio. You felt like you hadn’t seen the sun in days and both of you quickly agree that the patio might be your only chance. 

Your eyes scan the menu, looking for any words that seem familiar to you. You’re about half way through it when Josh pulls your menu down and looks you in the eye. You know what he wants, and you know you have to tell him, but you need a drink first, at the very minimum. 

Saved by the bell your waiter comes to your table, taking your drink orders and rushing off before you could blink. 

As expected the grilling starts, and much to your dismay you are alone on the patio with no chance of anyone hearing the two of you bicker.

“Alright Jake, I let you sleep on it. Time to talk,” he starts, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You rub your hand over your face, truly not knowing where to begin. You let out a sigh, and he seems to pick up on your inner turmoil. 

“Start wherever, but I would probably choose the beginning.”

You move your fingers to your lips, looking at him with challenging eyes “What is it exactly that you want to know, Josh? I mean–”

“Cut the shit, Jake. What is going on? I want everything, top to bottom, now,” he snaps, aggression present in his tone. 

“You’re mad for no fuckin’ reason, Josh!”

“No, I’m mad for great reason, Jake! You’re out here fucking around with our runner, two days into the tour mind you, while your girlfriend is back in Nashville living in your home!” he seethes, his fists clenched tightly on top of the white tablecloth. 

Your blood is boiling as he finishes his tirade. “Knock it the fuck off, you know damn good and well she is not my girlfriend anymore!”

“Do I? Do I, Jake? Last I heard, you were ‘easing off for a little bit’...” he replies, gesturing air quotes.

“Do you honestly think that I would have been living in your house for the last month if we were ‘just ‘easing off’? You retort, gesturing the same air quotes. 

Josh sits back in his chair a little, his aggression backing off just a little bit, enough for you to keep talking. “Explain.”

You blow out a breath of frustration, “She doesn’t get it, Josh. I can’t seem to get it through her head.”

“What?”

You bite your lips together before you answer, “I have tried to end things no less than five times in the last few months. There’s always some reason… Always something that…Fuck, I don’t know. It just never sticks. She won’t hear it,” you pause, “I was serious this time though, Josh. I told her point blank, I do not want to be together anymore. It was like I was speaking fucking Latin, she refused to hear me. We were up the entire night arguing, man. It’s… It’s just so done, and I’m the only one who can see it apparently.”

“So if she won’t accept it, you’re still technically together, though? She’s still in the house?” he asks, rubbing his fingers over his beard. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess? But also, No? The only way I could get the fuck out of that house in time to make it on the plane, was by agreeing to a ‘break’. But it’s not a break. I’m done, she knows I’m done. Told her she could still live in the house for a bit until she found her own place, but I told her, point blank, we needed to separate. No contact. You can see how that is going for her.”

“Does she know that you are…you know, seeing other people?” he asks, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. 

“Am I supposed to care? We aren’t together!” you argue. 

“But you kind of are Jacob!” he spits, “Look, I’m not trying to like, take her side here or whatever, but if she is under the impression you two are only on a break, I highly doubt she would be okay with you seeing other people. You’ll be labeled a cheater and god knows what else if she catches wind.”

“This is the messiest shit I have ever been a part of. I swear to god…” you groan, rubbing your hand over your face. “I seriously never thought I would find myself going through something like this.”

His brows pinch together in confusion, “So why didn’t you just say straight up, I want to separate, please move out of my home?”

“I mean, I kind of did, I think. It’s so much more complicated when you’ve been together as long as we have. We’ve had the exact same argument hundreds of times, that’s no exaggeration. She lives with me, man… I can’t just expect her to move out overnight, ya know? Which is why I agreed to the break. To give her time to…Get her shit together, I guess. But she knows I’m out. She has to know.”

“But she is still calling and texting you daily?” he asks. 

“All fucking day everyday. I never reply, and she still continues. As if– as if nothing ever happened. Like I said, she is just not getting it,” you explain. “Every time I would come stay at your place, she would just… come up with some reason, or some excuse to get me to come home for a few nights. We would just bandaid the problem, until it just exploded again and I’d end up back at your house or at Sam’s. But I had to be careful at Sam’s because Lyla is her best fuckin’ friend. You’d think she would have caught the drift after so many nights of me crashing there that things weren’t good. I don’t know, I hate this shit, I have suffered long enough. I want out. And I fear that when we get home, I might have to take more drastic measures. And I don’t want that shit, either.”

“So things are a lot worse than you initially led on…” he states, shaking his head as he sips from his glass. 

“Yeah, I guess so. Shit’s embarrassing, man. It’s rocky as hell and I don’t know what to do. I obviously still care for her as a person, but I just can’t do this with her anymore. I thought this time and space away from each other would help me get my head right and find a way to sort this shit out, but it seems like it’s only gotten worse and even more complicated since even a month ago, before we ever even left,” you continue. 

“And now there’s Y/N…” he grimaces, truly starting to understand your predicament. “I mean, it’s really only been, what, two days?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head, “Yeah, yeah. But I can honestly say that I have felt more in the last two days for Y/N than I have felt for Isla in the last year.”

“Do you think maybe… She’s…just a distraction from your real feelings? Like a space filler type of thing while you figure out shit with Isla?” he asks, broaching the subject very gently. “To be fair, I don’t blame you at all, she’s really gorgeous and a lovely girl from the little I’ve talked to her.”

“I know it looks that way, trust me. I do. But, no… It’s something else. I know it's only been two days, but there is something there, and I have to explore it,” you admit. “Like I said, I feel things I haven’t felt in so long. Not just physical things, either. And yeah, I know she works for us, and shit, but I– It was about two minutes into that plane ride that I knew it didn’t matter. I had to get to know her.”

“Answer me this, do you still love Isla?” he asks, leaning his elbows onto the table as he gives you that horribly painful twin stare that you both can only give to one another. The kind that pulls the truth from you no matter how badly you might not want to admit it. 

“I mean, I love her as a person, but no, I haven’t been in love with her in some time,” you confess. 

“In your mind is there any chance of reconciliation?” 

Your mind flashes through a hundred scenes of screaming fights, thrown objects, tears and accusations, “No. Not anymore,” you pause, rubbing your lips. “A week ago if you asked me that, I might have said maybe. It would be so easy to fall back into the good routine we had, everything would be good again for a little while at least, but it would change and we would be back to where we are now. Endless fuckin’ cycle. I can’t do that my whole life, Josh. I don’t deserve that. I was so excited about this leg of tour, just because she wasn’t coming. I could be alone and not go to bed mad and arguing every night. Do you know how fucked that is? That is not how I should feel about the person I am supposedly in love with. I should want her here, and I just don’t.”

He nods his head in agreement, sucking his teeth with a hiss. 

“Two days with Y/N has proven to me just how unhappy I am in that relationship with Isla. How much I’m just…not in love with her anymore. It only confirms my decision,” you admit. 

“So she’s calling and stuff to try and keep you strung along… So that you’ll come home and pick right back up on this nasty cycle the two of you are in…” he questions. 

“Basically. Which is why I refuse to engage with it. She can text all she wants, I’m not answering her,” you snap. “Things aren’t black and white for her, they are very gray and for me they are stark white. I don’t know how to make it more clear.”

He drops his head and looks up at you as he leans on his elbows again, “Look, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I won’t say anything to anyone about last night, or whatever is going on with you and Y/N. I want you to be happy, and I can tell you haven’t been in a long time. I’m just really sorry I was such an ass. I wish you would have talked to me, you know, like we used to.”

“I know, I know. It’s my own pride that stopped me. I just, I feel like I'm on the precipice of being happy again, I just have to keep following it, even if it looks really bad from the outside,” you pause, “Also, you guys have to stop picking on her, she is innocent in all of this. She already thinks you guys don’t like her.”

“Oh, that's just not true, we all like her a lot, you have to tell her we don’t mean it,” he laughs, tilting his head to the side as he tosses back the rest of his mimosa. “Wait, does she know about Isla?”

“No, absolutely not,” you answer a little too quickly. 

“Are you… planning on telling her?” 

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought that far ahead, I mean, I know I need to. I wasn’t really planning on Isla blowing my phone up day and night. Guess I should have known better, huh?” you laugh, offering him a small smile. 

“You need to tell her, Jake. Don’t fuck it up before you even get things started,” he offers. 

“Don’t you know that’s my specialty?” you ask, sipping your spicy bloody mary. “I mean, last night is a whole other problem. When you saw us out there I had every intention of leaving that bar with her and taking her back to the hotel. It was all I could think about. But then you were out there with my phone and the shit with Isla. Fuck…I panicked. I just sent her back to the hotel. Left her out to dry like a fucking prick. Haven’t spoken to her since. She probably wants nothing to do with me at this point.”

“No, no I doubt that. She’s probably a little hurt, maybe a little confused, but I think she will come around. I saw the way she was looking at you last night,” he smiles. “But Jake, seriously. You have to tell her about Isla.”

“God, I know it just, why would I even be thinking about Isla when I’m with her? I swear it’s like none of it exists when we are with each other. Everything is easy.”

“Sounds like you found yourself someone special,” he smiles. 

“I think you’re right.”

—

HER POV

The morning had been spent walking up and down the streets of Amsterdam, getting lost and finding your way again over and over as you navigated the map app on Danny’s phone. To your surprise, Jake and Josh hadn’t joined you. Just you, Sam, Danny, Lyla and Mia. It felt a little strange at first, and you felt the fifth-wheel anxiety hit you hard as you trailed behind them, the two couples happy and holding hands as you all explored. But luckily, at the last second, Dean joined you on the excursion, insisting that five of you needed an escort. 

You’d taken the time to speak to Dean and get to know him a little; he’s a big burly man with cheeks that stay red and a beard and mustache that hide his mouth. He’s middle aged, and a man of few words, but you were determined to break through his exterior just a little bit, seeing as how he is one of your coworkers. 

Now, as you all are heading back to the hotel with your arms full of various shopping bags and leftover food cart goodies, the conversation you’d worked so hard to start up with Dean is flowing freely. The two of you converse about the job, about travel, about where each of you are from and how you got hooked up with these crazy four. He’s fairly easy to talk to, and you find yourself very calm in his presence. 

“I heard about what went down at the restaurant the other night, Ms. Y/N. I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he admits as you watch Lyla and Mia pull the guys into a tiny boutique.

“Oh, no need to apologize,” you respond, a little surprised, “It was no big deal, really. I made a stupid mistake by going out alone that late, I learned my lesson. Just glad Jake was able to come help me out.”

“Still, it’s one of my responsibilities to make sure everyone is safe. Mr. Jacob made it very clear that you’re on that list, too.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and pushes a few buttons before speaking again. “I’m gonna get your number right now, so you never find yourself in a situation like that again.” You nod as you agree, knowing that you should have had his number saved a long time ago. You switch phones with him as you each enter your respective numbers, and he smiles as he locks his, pushing it back into the pocket of his coat. It hits you that Jake must have had a conversation with him.

“We’ve got more security coming, I’m sure you’ve heard. They should be here within the next few days. This is usually a one man job, but… I guess as the band gets more and more popular, these kinds of things just need to naturally grow along with them,” he explains, keeping his head on a swivel as he eyes each of them inside the store. “Turns into a team effort.”

You nod, pushing your windblown hair behind your ear before shoving your freezing hand back in your pocket. “I did hear about that. Bet it brings everyone peace of mind having more hands on deck, especially you,” you offer.

“Mmhm,” he replies, “Most definitely. I’ve met these guys before, think everybody will like them. Real straightforward outfit. I’m their head of security, but with the way this group operates, they’re probably gonna be calling most of the shots, if not all of them.” He sucks his teeth, and you can’t tell if he’s irked or maybe, a little bit relieved to have the help. 

“You gonna be alright with that?” you press, hoping you’re not stepping on his toes. 

He shrugs one shoulder, and you can see his eyes darting around behind his sunglasses. “I’m only one guy, Ms. Y/N.” His response is blunt, so you decide to leave it at that. 

You take a second to browse the boutique, meeting up again with Lyla and Mia and gushing over sweaters and dresses that none of you could ever afford, and for the first time in two days, you’d gone more than half an hour without thinking about Jake. As soon as the memory of him and what happened last night flows back into your brain, you almost double over with a strange anxiety. You pull out your phone again, checking to see if he has texted at all, or added anything to the playlist, but you’re met with nothing. Nothing.

“Let’s go get a drink or something!” Mia finally suggests to the group as you congregate in front of the store on the sidewalk, and everyone agrees. “Danny baby, pull up somewhere to go.”

“Let’s just take off walking again, we passed like fifty pubs on the way here,” he argues, bursting through the group and walking down the sidewalk again. The tension feels like it has dissipated for the most part; you have to admit that at first you were still a little worried that things might be a little strange between all of you. But as soon as you all got a couple of drinks in you, the anxiety melts away, and you find yourself laughing along and fitting right in with them. The girls are really cool, and Danny and Sam together keep the conversation going with ease.

An hour or so later, you’re unlocking your hotel door and stripping the layers of clothing off as you now have gotten a little sweaty from the heat mixed with the alcohol. The sun had popped out a little, only adding to your need for a giant bottle of water, and to relax across your bed. As you scroll social media and flick through TV channels in languages you can’t understand, you find your mind drifting back to Jake again. At this point, you know he isn’t going to text. He isn’t going to call, he isn’t going to add another song. If he was going to, he would have by now. You swallow down the realization, flipping to your back to push a pillow over your face. You think about calling Ruth, but at the same time, you hardly even feel like talking about it. 

Just as you're about to scream into the void, you hear a knock at your door. Who in the world? You stand up and adjust your clothing and hair, expecting Corri or Paul to be delivering you some information in person. You unlatch the deadbolt and swing the door open, finding none other than Jake leaning with one hand on your door frame, and the other gripping a single deep burgundy flower. 

“Hey…” he mumbles, biting his lip. 

“Hey, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you…” you fumble over your words, not only because you hadn’t spoken all day, but because he looked so overwhelmingly delicious standing there effortlessly dripping sex in your doorway that you almost catch yourself drooling. Loose, dark slacks, a black button up revealing his chest, his hair freshly washed and still damp around the roots… His skin is still glowing from the heat of his shower, and you can smell his body wash mixed in with that damn cologne he apparently carries with him everywhere. Your eyes flick to the flower hanging loosely from his fingertips before meeting his eyes again.

“I know, I should have called first, ‘m sorry…” he stumbles, pulling his hand from his pocket and swiping it across his nose. 

“No no, it’s fine, um… did you need… you wanna come inside?” you weren’t quite sure what to offer at this point; he wouldn’t have shown up if he didn’t want to talk.

He stands up straight now, smoothing his hands over his shirt and then placing them both in his pockets. “No, actually, I came by to see if you would want to go on a walk with me,” he asks, a shyness in his tone that feels new to you. “And to bring you this.”

He extends his hand, offering you the dark red flower, multi petaled and fragrant. “Saw it earlier at a flower stand and I…I don’t know, I thought of you. Thought you should have it.”

You accept it from his fingers, bringing it to your nose to take in its earthy smell, “It’s beautiful, what is it?”

“It’s a Dahlia, I believe. The vendor said it was a Black Dahlia, but it looks dark red to me. I don’t know, I just thought it was pretty. Thought of you.” he smiles nervously. You stare at him as you twist the flower under your nose and think about his question. 

“So, a walk?” you reiterate, finding the idea both exhausting and appealing, seeing as how you had just gotten back from an extremely lengthy one with everyone else. “I really should stay in tonight, I… dunno…”

“Please?” he asks, squinting his eyes. “Just a short one, we don’t have to go far. I just– I saw something cool today, and I thought you might like to see it, too. Wanna show you…”

You huff a little as you lean your head on the edge of the open door. His eyes are pleading, and you can tell there’s more to his little plan than simply showing you something.

Maybe he wants to talk. Maybe he wants to explain things… sort it all out…

“Okay. We can go. But, I have to get dressed first,” you say, already dreading putting all those layers back on, but not feeling so bad about it because now you’ll be with him. You feel a little reluctant, the pissed-off feeling you’d had all day still lying heavily present in your mind. But, he’s making an effort, at least…

“Take your time. I’m just a floor up, 507,” he starts to back away, the tiniest satisfied grin forming on his face. His eyes travel up and down your body so fast you almost miss it. “Just come knock when you’re ready.” 

You close the door as he rounds the corner to the elevator, and you can’t help but feel that rush of nerves fly up your body again. He didn’t call, he didn’t text, he came to your door. With a flower. God, what a gentleman. You place the flower on the dresser, your heart pounding at the sweet gesture. You rush into the bathroom to freshen everything up and spruce your tangled hair, brushing some powder across your face and adding a little more mascara. You re-apply your favorite perfume to your wrists and neck, taking a little extra time to make sure you looked presentable in the full-length mirror on the wall. 

When you feel as if your appearance is as good as it's gonna get, you sit on your bed, wanting to make Jake wait for you just a little bit longer. You go ahead and pull up a facetime call with Ruth, waiting for the tone to ring out. 

The screen opens with Ruth holding up one finger, mouthing for you to hang on as she finishes out what looks to be a very annoying phone call with a client. She spins in her chair as she rolls her eyes, letting her head look at the ceiling as she uses her formal, professional voice to end the call.

“...You have an excellent day, ma’am. Mhm. Thank you, Buh-bye,” she presses a button on her phone and rips her headset off, fumbling for her airpods as she picks up her phone. “Oh my GOD today has been insane and I hate everything,” she complains as you watch the screen fill up with her face, and you hear the sound of her acrylic nails tapping all over her screen. You patiently wait, watching her loudly chew her gum, knowing that she has to clear away her notifications before she can even begin to have an uninterrupted conversation with you. “Okay I’m ready what the fuck has happened?!” 

You laugh, giving her the rundown of everything that happened since you last spoke, her facial expressions letting you know she is hanging on your every word. “...And now, he just showed up at my fucking door, and asked me on a date, I guess? After basically dry humping me in the bathroom then sending me home without another word,” you finish, whispering your words as if he could hear you. “I dunno, Ruth. Should I even go?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Yes you should go. Give him a chance to explain, at least. He wouldn’t have shown up to your door if he didn’t really want you to come, ya know?” she says, immediately noticing her word choice, and slyly smiling as she bounced her eyebrows.  

“Shut the fuck up. Ugh, yeah, you’re right. Does this outfit look okay?” you stand back and flip the camera around showing her yourself in the mirror. 

“Slayyyyyyyy that jacket is hot, where on earth did you even get it?!” she rolls her eyes. 

“From you. For my birthday. When you found out I was going to a colder climate,” you laugh. “Okay, I'm gonna go, I guess. I’ll text you later.”

“Live updates, please. I want to know the way this man ticks,” she teases.

“Shut up. Bye.” You end the call and grab your purse, making sure your room key is in your bag. You also make sure to grab the jacket Jake sent you home in last night, not able to bear another second staring at it draped across the back of the chair. 

—

“Thought you might want this back,” you say when Jake opens the door, taking the coat from your outstretched hand.

He smirks as he takes it, tossing it behind him to land on some unknown surface. “Looks better on you, but it’s one of only three jackets I brought with me.” You both laugh a little as you make your way down the hall and to the elevator. The whole ride down is silent, with both of you standing at opposite sides, more or less feeling no shame in drinking the other in. His arms and ankles are crossed as the elevator descends, and you can feel his eyes boring into you. 

“You look really nice today,” he offers as you exit the lobby and head back out into the freezing cold air. 

“Thank you,” you reply shyly, feeling the blush creep to your cheeks. “So do you…” you wanted to gush about how perfectly his hair is sitting around his face, how his shirt and jacket are hanging across his shoulders, how poised he just always seems to be without even trying… but you don’t. You hope to god you don’t run into any of his brothers, or anyone that you work with; coming up with an explanation why the two of you are out alone together again is something you truly don’t feel like dealing with right now. “So where are we going?”

“It’s called The Jordaan. It’s a really old neighborhood, with a canal going through the center. Bunch of little shops and stuff. Did you guys walk this way this morning?” you notice the lilt in his voice. 

You shake your head. “No, we went the opposite way,” you answer. It’s quiet for just a minute more as you pass by the crowds and other people on the streets. “Why didn’t you and Josh come along?”

He takes a quick breath. “Eh, we didn’t really receive an invite, honestly,” he laughs, stroking his fingers over his mustache. “Had to be Lyla or Mia’s idea to go, if I had to guess.” He was right, but you still felt bad. “But it was okay, me and Josh went to eat and got to… talk a little without the interruption of the other two. Kinda rare these days,” he smiles, and his knuckles brush across yours just barely. The light touch sends your bloodstream to a raging fire, and you have to stifle down the pull to grab his hand altogether. 

The sun is peeking through the heavy cloud cover of the evening, and you find yourself staring at the way Jake’s pulled his sunglasses to sit on top of his head, letting the gleam of the sunlight bounce into his mocha colored irises. He looks you in the eye each and every time he speaks, and commands your complete attention away from everything else around you. You’re pulled into him, letting your bodies barely touch and move together as you walk along. This attraction feels different than the heated, blurry, intense pull you had to one another last night. This feels innocent, even though you both know that it’s anything but. 

You turn a corner as you come along to the long line of homes and buildings, multicolored and old in their exteriors but, still holding just the right amount of charm to be an attraction. You catch yourself looking above to see the craftsmanship of them. “Wow…” you exclaim quietly as you peer up at the finely detailed architecture, staring in awe at the shape they are still in. You pull your phone from your pocket and start to take photos, zooming in on the details and making a mental note to send them straight to Ruth later. 

You walk up onto a little footbridge lined with parked bikes and people stopped to take photos. Suddenly Jake is behind you, barely resting his chin on your shoulder. “Gimme your phone, let me take your picture,” he murmurs in your ear. 

“Oh no, that’s okay…” Before the words can even escape your lips, he’s snatched your phone and started backing up, glancing behind him and back to your phone every few seconds. 

“You’re really good at taking my phone away and doing whatever you want with it, you know!” you yell at him in aggravation. 

He motions his free hand for you to scoot sideways, and then again for you to stop where you are. He snaps a few, turning the phone on its side to get every angle he can. You stand a bit awkwardly, hating that people are having to stop when they notice they are walking in line of the photo. Finally he finishes and rushes back over to you. “They look good! See?” he says, handing your phone back and swiping through them with you. “Now you’ll have record.”

You walk past a few secondhand shops and stores, and suddenly, something in one of the windows catches your eye. “Oh my god, look at that!” you squeal, pointing to a glimmering red dress sitting perfectly on a mannequin. It isn’t like any dress you’d seen before; it looks vintage, bright cherry red velvet with sewn-in sequins weaved throughout. It’s tight, but not too tight, and short and lacking fabric in all the right places. 

“Damn, you should go try it on!” Jake exclaims, obviously agreeing with your surprise at how pretty it is. 

“Nah, I shouldn’t…” you say, walking away from the window. 

“No, you should, actually. That dress is hot, Y/N,” he says, elbowing you in the ribs. “And I think you’d make it a hundred times hotter.”

You scoff. “Be quiet, no I would not.”

“Prove me wrong, then,” he challenges with a smirk, opening the door to the shop, and holding his hand out to invite you inside. 

You step inside, and are immediately greeted by a man dressed in a formal tuxedo. He notices that you are not local during his greeting, and switches to rough English.

“Eyeballing the red number, are you madam? Give me one second, I’ll grab it off the mannequin for you,” you and Jake lock eyes as the man flits away, straight for the window. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation and gives you a grin so adorable you almost melt into putty right there in the store. 

“Here you are ma’am, please, be careful, very old dress,” he explains, handing you the dress on a hanger and opening a curtain for you to go behind. 

“Go ahead,” Jake mouths, pushing you into the small dressing room. 

You stand almost naked in front of the mirror as you slip the soft, tight fabric over your thighs, your stomach, and finally over your shoulders. Jake was right, it fits you perfectly. The velvet material snatches your waist and bust, and cuts right above your knee. Its sequins shimmer in the overhead light, but aren’t so overwhelming that it looks showy. It’s something you could dress up, or dress down. You reach behind you and pull the zipper up only halfway. Of course.

You take a deep breath and pull the curtain back, finding Jake to have taken a seat on a plush maroon ottoman. His jaw drops as you walk toward him, and yet again, you feel the heat rise in your face. You continue walking toward him, turning at the last second with your back to him, pulling your hair to the side. “Finish doing me up?” you say, immediately realizing that could be taken in a way you didn’t really mean. But also kind of mean, if you’re being honest. 

You hear him swallow and he stands, and feel his warm hand slowly grip the zipper and pull it up, his other hand resting gently on the back of your hip, this thumb barely squeezing at the muscle. He takes his time, moving the zipper at the slowest pace imaginable. “Everything alright back there?” you whisper over your shoulder, hearing your own voice tremble. 

You hear the air push from his nose as he leans in a little closer. “Just taking my time… might be the only time I get to touch you this way…”

Your eyelids flutter closed at his words. You lick your lips, trying to calm your second heartbeat. “What makes you think this will be the only time?”

He finishes the zip, spinning you to turn and face him. He shrugs one shoulder. “Just don’t wanna get my hopes up,” he growls. “Take that as a compliment…if you wear that out in public, I wouldn’t stand a chance against the hordes of guys that would be following you around.”

You scoff at him, and the absolute absurdity of his statement. He has no idea how pretty he is, does he?

“Shh. That’s a lie,” you say as you turn back and motion for him to unzip you. He does, this time with a little more haste. You make your way back into the dressing room and switch back into your clothing, hanging the beautiful specimen back on the hanger the man had provided you with. 

“What? You’re not getting it?!” Jake stands as you make your way back toward the employee.

“No, Jake! I can’t buy that! It’s too–”

“Perfect? Because you looked… I–I can’t even explain… You have to get it, Y/N,” he argues.

You hand the dress back to the man in the suit. “No. I wouldn’t even have anywhere to wear something like that…” you go on, internally screaming at how badly you really would like to have it. 

“Let me get it for you, then,” Jake says. “It’s not even that expensive…”

“NO!” you squeal. “I mean, no thank you. Please, Jake. It’s completely fine,” you say as you begin to walk toward the exit. You simply could not let him buy this for you. No. Huh-uh. Absolutely the hell not. 

He reluctantly follows you out of the store, still playfully going on and on about how you just made a huge mistake. You turn and face him, your face only inches from his. You grab both of his hands in yours, snickering a little at the surprised look on his face. “Jake, I appreciate the compliments, but I’d really like to get on with our date, now.”

JAKE POV

Her words send a shockwave through your system. “Date? So it’s a date now?” you ask, your hands cupped in hers as he looks you in the eyes. 

She turns and begins walking again, and you have to physically tell yourself to move your legs and follow along. “You came to my door, asked me to go on a walk because you wanted to show me a certain specific special thing… now we’re exploring and talking and trying on dresses, I’d qualify this as a date,” she turns and gives you a teasing look of intrigue. “Just missing the food part, but I think it would still count.” 

A smile comes to your lips as you realize she’s right. “You hungry?” you ask, finally catching up with her. 

“No, I’m just kidding. Let’s go down to the riverside,” she points a little ways away, seeing that there is a sidewalk that runs alongside the water. 

You stuff your hands in your pockets as you trudge along, the two of you taking in the scenery and the water beside you. The air is still blowing cold, but neither of you seem to mind. “So if we’re gonna qualify this as a date, maybe we should get to know each other a little better,” you suggest, earning a scoff from her. 

“Seems a little backwards seeing as how we kinda already–”

“I know, I know,” you laugh. “Um, let’s see. Did you play any sports in school?” you ask. 

“I played volleyball all four years, golfed with my dad on the weekends sometimes when he was around… Other than that, not really,” she explains.

“Shit, don’t tell Danny you like golf,” you go on. “He’ll capture you in a week-long conversation and then ask you to go play a round in every country we visit,” you laugh. 

“Ummm, what’s your favorite holiday? And you can’t pick Christmas…” she says, pushing her pointer finger into your shoulder. 

“Hmm, so, I think it’s a tie between the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving, because in July we’re always out of the country somewhere really beautiful, or we’re all at home blowing shit up together. I’m always really happy that time of year. And then Thanksgiving, because I will eat the fuck out of mashed potatoes any chance I get,” you say. 

She laughs again, the sounds of her voice making your insides warm. “Your answer was better than mine!” 

“Let’s see… What's your best friend’s name?” Noticing that she hasn’t really mentioned anyone.

“My best friend’s name is Ruth, we’ve been friends since elementary school. She’s… a complete idiot,” she laughs. “We still talk pretty much daily about anything and everything,” she explains. “Don’t have any secrets.”

“Oh so, she’s… getting the rundown of your whole European adventure in real time, isn't she?” you ask, wondering if she had been giving her a play by play of the whirlwind last few days you'd shared together. 

She purses her lips and squints her eyes as her hand brushes past yours. “Guess you could say that…”

“Damn!” you laugh, feeling embarrassed. “Don’t tell me you included our bar bathroom escapade…”

Suddenly she’s tripping over her words. “I mean... No! I told her a little but like, not details or anything ya know, but she…I–” 

“So she knows we almost hooked up but thankfully stopped just in time that my brother didn’t catch things getting too out of hand…” you say confidently, wanting to see the blush rush her cheeks again. 

She stops, standing stiff in her place. “Okay, Jake. Caught me. Sue me, shit.”

You continue walking, pulling her along by the hand. “I’m kidding, I don’t care. I hope to meet her one day.”

She looks at you from the side of her eye, “I hope you do, too. Okay, who’s your best friend?”

“You really want me to answer that?” You’re surprised she can’t already tell. “I’ve got three built right in. All three pains in my ass but I love ‘em.”

“How sweet, Jake. Man, you do have a heart under there, somewhere!” she teases. 

“Of course I do baby, I’m actually a sweetheart, didn’t you know?” you respond in a very piratical voice. “Alright, favorite music genre. This is the big one, answer carefully…”

“Ahhh, well…” she looks to the ground, truly contemplating her answer. “You already know the Alt-J stuff you added was way out of my normal choice, I actually listen to um, a lot of harder stuff, I guess you could say. Some metal, hard rock, also older country, some psych stuff. It runs the whole gambit,” she laughs, seeming like she was shy to admit it all. 

“Wow,” you say. “So like, almost the exact opposite of what we’re into.”

“Kind of, I mean it probably overlaps… I love the stuff you’ve added to the list. And I’m sure there’s a few classic dad rock songs you like, don’t lie…” she smiles. 

“Ehhh,” you argue, “Maybe a few…” you feel a sudden slight disappointment in the fact that the two of you probably will not be able to talk music much. But, that’s okay…

“Me and my dad used to go to rock shows a lot when I was a kid. I’ve seen all the country greats a few times a piece. Just something about that sound, you know? Reminds me of home, it’s very nostalgic… I’m sorry, I’m rambling…” she says, brushing the hair from her face as you find yourself enraptured in her words. 

“No, no… it’s okay, ramble on…”

Light bulb. 

You sneakily pull your phone from your pocket, adding that very song to the playlist, hoping she won't notice right off the bat, but hoping she will understand soon that you would listen to her ramble all day long. As she continues to talk, you can’t help but notice all the ways that she is so different from Isla. Like night and day. She listens to you when you speak, she doesn’t ever come at you with condescending words unless she’s being playful, she is sure of herself, and confident…and gives you that feeling down deep in your gut that tells you she’s something special. Though you’ve only known her a few days, it’s already obvious that she offers every single thing that Isla doesn’t, never has, and most likely never will. Instead of the uneasy, walking on eggshells feeling that you have everytime you’re with Isla, you get the confident, self-assured and joyful feeling in Y/N’s presence. And something is telling you to hold onto it. 

Speaking of Isla… you really need to tell Y/N about her. It’s only right. It isn’t fair to her that she doesn’t have a clue, you wouldn’t have wanted to be left in the dark if the roles were reversed. You swallow, opening your mouth to start the conversation without having a clue where to even begin. But your thoughts are interrupted by Y/N’s sweet voice bringing you back down to earth again. 

“I know you bargained for a short walk, but what if we went up there to that little pub and see what they have to offer?” she asks, smiling a toothy grin.

Maybe the time isn’t now…

“Lead the way, love.”

—

HER POV

Warm. Everything is just so warm. Your body, your face, his smile. Warm. The room is a dull hum of noise around you, your world growing still as he sits in front of you. You watch him in wonder as he talks about music and his passions, your face propped up on your fist. You know you must look positively smitten, and to be honest you kind of are. The two of you are giggling back and forth, even though nothing is really that funny. But that was the beauty of it. You can tell you are blinking slowly and try to reign it in as the nearly half a liter of beer swirls through your bloodstream. You can’t help but smile at him while he talks, his eyes locked on yours as a smile stretches across his own face. 

You wonder how he is even able to hold a conversation right now, your brain reduced to mush as you continue to sip on your beer. He’s happy, you can tell, a dimple has appeared in his cheek and hasn’t left in nearly an hour. You can’t stop looking at it, at him. Everything about him. The twinkle lights over head have cast a perfect yellow glow on his tan skin, just as the sun starts to dip down below the river the two of you walked here from.

“You still with me, beautiful?” he asks, his knuckles brushing against yours. 

“I’m here, but barely.” you laugh, “Why aren’t you feeling the alcohol yet?” you tease, taking a rather large gulp of your beer.  You know he definitely has a higher tolerance than you do, but you can tell he is a little more smiley than usual. You place the large glass tankard back on the table as he stares at you, his eyes wide and sparkling. 

“What?” you ask, feeling a bit bashful in your drunken state. 

“You’re just…so– you’re just really pretty and it makes me feel, I don’t know, shy I guess,” he answers truthfully, biting his lips together nervously. 

You feel your chest burst into flames, the heat radiating up your face to your already flushed cheeks. 

“I like it when you blush,” he breathes, which of course makes you blush harder. “Like it best when it’s because of me.”

You feel all of your nervousness and anxiety melting away as he looks at you, and suddenly with the help of the beer, you feel brave enough to ask the question that has been on your mind all day. 

“Jake?”

He nods his head ever so slightly, letting his fingertips drift across your knuckles. 

“Why didn’t you answer? My song, how come you didn’t say anything?” you ask, swallowing down your last bit of nervousness. 

He drops his head a little, grabbing your hand in his, letting his thumb skate across your skin. “I searched and searched for a song that I could respond with last night. One that would articulate what I wanted to say, but I just…I couldn’t find one. I felt like absolute shit after you left, Y/N. Really, I did. I fell asleep with that damn song on replay until my alarm went off this morning. It got in my head, and that’s when I decided I wanted to go on this walk today. Make it up to you.”

You stare at him for just a second, letting a smile slowly creep to your lips. He notices and you watch him as he visibly relaxes. He was nervous, too. 

His eyes are locked on yours, both of you saying a thousand things with zero words. You let his words sink in, storing away each one until your heart feels a little bit lighter. 

“Well, you better think of a good one tonight,” you tease, rubbing your thumb against his. 

His phone buzzes on the table top, his eyes flashing down to it, then to you in panic. 

“It’s fine,” you nod, gesturing for him to grab it. “I don’t mind, really.”

He picks it up and clears his throat, the loss of his hand from yours stings a little but you know he will do it again. 

“From Josh,” he starts reading the message out loud, “Where are you? I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer.”

He smiles and laughs as his thumbs type back a response. 

“Oh, another one,” he pauses, “We’re meeting up for dinner, just the guys, in an hour.”

His face drops a little, his eyes looking across the table to you. He locks his phone and sets it back on the table, his hand seeking yours out again. 

“We should probably get going if you’re gonna make it back in time,” you offer, taking another sip of your beer. 

He lets out a painful sigh, “I don’t really want to. I want to stay out…with you. I see them all the time.”

“No, no, no, you’re in Amsterdam with your brothers. They want to see you. Don’t change your plans around for me,” you insist. 

He looks conflicted, you can tell he really does want to stay here with you, but he also knows he needs to meet up with them. 

“Well, what about you? What will you do?” he asks, tracing his index finger around your hand. 

You smile and shake your head, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll probably just go back to my room and do whatever it was I was going to do before you knocked on the door.”

He smiles and nods, licking his lips before speaking again, “If you’re sure, this is supposed to be me making it up to you for leaving you last night, now I seem to be doing it again.”

“Wanna know a secret?” 

He raises his eyebrows in question, ready to hear your answer.

“I forgave you for that about two minutes into our walk,” you smile, squeezing his hand in yours. 

—

He walks with you back to the hotel, his hand never leaving yours for a second. His grip is firm and warm, everything you ever dreamed of. You talk about the shops and the sights, and he tries again to convince you to buy that dress, bartering that he was going to have to go back and buy it himself if you refused. 

As you step up to the hotel door you pause, turning and looking at him in the glow of the streetlights. “You don’t have to walk me all the way up, I think I can find it.” you tease. 

“Alright, well, um, can I text you?” he asks, his tone reverting back to that of a nervous fifteen year old boy. 

You feel the butterflies taking flight in your stomach, flapping their wings so hard you feel like you might take off with them. “Yeah, you can text me whenever you want to.”

A huge smile spreads across his face, “Yeah, alright, cool. I’ll um, I’ll text you then.”

“I’ll be waiting,” you answer, watching him stifle back his smile as he steps back a bit, bringing your hand to his lips. He places a soft and gentle kiss to the top of your hand, his cold lips barely grazing your skin, and sending a jolt of electricity through you. 

“Won’t be long,” he smiles, stepping away and turning to head back down the street. 

—

JAKE POV

You follow the walk route to the pin that Josh had dropped, finding yourself at a tiny pub down a back alleyway of a street. The place is crowded and warm, ambient lights with the damp smell of cigars lingering in the air. You mosy through the crowd, hoping that no one recognizes you and stops you for a drunken conversation or autograph. 

Luckily it doesn’t happen, and you find Danny, Sam, and Josh tucked away at a high-top table in the corner. “There he is! Took you long enough!” Danny yells over the loud crowd, the first one of them to spot you. 

The other two turn to face you, pulling your stool out for you to take. “Your beer is probably warm, now…sorry,” Sam says, pointing to yet another giant mug of beer, just the same as the one you’d just finished off. 

“Fuck, thanks…” you say, tiptoeing to hop up onto the high stool. You simply can’t help the shit-eating grin that’s plastered across your face, even with all the maximum effort you have left in you. You take a large sip, finding the beer to still be fairly cold. 

“Where have you been already today? You look flushed and far too jovial…” Josh presses, rubbing his hands together with his elbows resting on the table. 

“Cold outside,” you say, shooting him a look. 

The bullshitting and argumentative discussions commence as everyone obviously begins to feel their alcohol, and you take the distracted time out to text Y/N, letting her know you made it safely. 

You

9:18PM: I’m here, but already wishing I never left

You attach a quick photo of your giant beer, and include the eye-rolling emoji.

Y/N

9:20PM: omg 😂 good luck choking another one down

You

9:21PM: Ye have little faith 🍺 

A minute later you receive a photo of her room service sprawled out across the bed in front of her, chicken fingers and fries and some type of dipping sauce. You smirk at how cute she probably looks in whatever outfit she chose to get comfy in, and wonder what she looks like. You notice the TV in the background, and recognize the movie that she has playing. 

You

9:24PM: Looks tasty

9:24PM: Damn, is that Wedding Crashers?

Y/N

9:25PM: Yes, I fucking love this movie

You run your hand over your face. 

You

9:26PM: That sucks, I quite literally can’t stand that movie 

Y/N:

9:26PM: 😱😱😱😱😱😱

9:26PM: You’re insane, this is one of my favorite movies of all time! Why do you hate it!

You

9:27PM: Dunno, not a sucker for cheap comedy I suppose

You’re interrupted by Sam’s snapping fingers in your face. “Hellooooo, Jake, you with us? Tell Isla to leave you the fuck alone, it’s guys’ night!” 

You feel your eyes widen at his comment and glance at Josh, who is mirroring your exact expression behind his folded hands. 

“Uh, sorry, sorry yeah.” You put your phone down on the table and try your best to be present with them, getting caught up in your normal absurd conversation. Your phone continues to light up and buzz on the table. 

“You gonna get that?” Josh asks slowly and quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. You ignore him, finishing off the last bit of your beer that went down exceptionally quicker than you thought it would. Everyone is sufficiently intoxicated, and you have to admit, you’re having a really great time letting loose. The drinks are flowing, and the air is high-spirited all the way around. Danny is taking funny videos of Sam and Josh as they try their hand at some type of trick with a coin and a bottle cap, so you take the second to check your phone again. But what you see brings your serotonin level down just a notch. 

Isla

10:12PM: Hey, what’s up?

10:27PM: Why aren’t you answering me babe :(

10:29PM: I miss youuuuu, you never called back last night

10:33PM: Saw Danny’s close friends story, glad to see you having fun ignoring my texts! 👋🏼

10:37PM: Can you accept my location request

10:42PM: I can see your phone in front of you Jake

You roll your eyes and mutter a quiet oh…my…god, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands. 

“What’s up?” Josh asks, and you turn your phone for him to see. His eyes instantly widen as he reads. 

“This…is the shit I’ve dealt with for the last three years. I can’t—” you cut yourself off, feeling your jaw clenching with aggravation. 

Josh settles back in his chair. “Fuck, I had no idea…”

“What, what is it?” Sam and Danny basically simultaneously ask, seeing the disdain falling over the both of you at the same time. 

“Nothin’, just a sad video,” Josh lies. 

You decide to let Isla’s antics roll off your shoulders; you’re having too good of a night to let her whining bring you down. Things with Y/N are starting to heat up, and you find your tipsy self teetering on the edge of risk. You pull her texts up again, finding that she had responded a while ago.

Y/N

9:30PM: You’re crazy, this movie is fuckin hilarious

You decide to change up the game a bit, adding a song that reflects exactly how you’re feeling right now. You scroll through your library and land on it, bringing up the option to add it to your shared playlist. It’s perfect, ‘In the Mood For You’ by The Record Company. 

She responds with a text a minute later, a string of five or six laughing emojis. You’re then met with a song addition on her end, ‘Are You Sure?’ by Willie Nelson. 

Holy shit holy shit. You feel your stomach get warm and your head starts to swim at the thought of where this could go, where you want it to go. You take a deep breath as the excitement builds in your system, and you can physically feel your body getting warm. You want to scream. Your eyes begin to cross a little as your thumbs hover over the screen, flicking around as you decide what to do. 

The next thing you know, Sam is setting another beer in front of your face, this one thankfully much, much smaller than the other one you had just finished off. Mother fucker...Gonna be very drunk.

You decide to skip out on a text, keeping this little game the two of you have going. You pull up the song search, adding ‘No One Else’ by Weezer. Perfect. 

Seconds later, you receive a text. 

Y/N

10:56PM: I’ll think about it…….

You feel your cheeks grow pink. 

Just then another comes through from Isla. 

Isla

10:57PM: Ignoring me isn’t going to fix anything, Jacob.

You scoff, shaking your head. You turn the phone to Josh again. 

“God, block her fucking number. I’m so serious,” his voice raises a little, laced with a protective tone. 

You ignore it, flipping back over to your texts with Y/N, suddenly feeling emboldened. 

You

10:59PM: Think about what, exactly? 

You lick your lips as you set the phone down, glancing around to see no one paying attention to you all up in your phone again. A minute later, you receive a photo. You click the message and watch as the attachment comes to life. 

It’s a selfie of Y/N sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in a barely-there black silk pajama set, with the object of the photo obviously the empty side of the bed behind her. 

Y/N

11:01PM: You, here.

Son of a fucking bitch, she is gonna be the death of you. You pull your phone up so no one can see the picture, and you take a second to stare at her soft skin in the silk material, her hair a little messy but lying perfectly. She’s smiling just a little, and the dim light is bouncing off her features in all the right areas. 

You

11:03PM: Absolutely stunning

11:03PM: Are YOU sure?

Your heart is positively racing, watching as her text bubble pops up. 

Y/N

11:04PM: Only if you want to…

As the breath hitches in your throat as you’ve quite literally forgotten how to breathe, you take a second more, starting in on the beer Sam had provided. You lock your phone, trying to make up your mind of how to answer. What to do, what to do…

You finally decide to reply with a bold text. 

You

11:06PM: I think I can make that happen…😉

11:06PM: We shouldn’t be much longer

You get dragged back into conversation with the guys, and fifteen or so minutes later, everyone is gearing up to leave. You glance down at your phone a few minutes later, seeing that she hasn’t responded. Weird. 

Everyone stands to leave, and the alcohol hits you in the face. Yeah, pretty fairly intoxicated. You exit the building, feeling someone standing behind, close by. You turn to see Dean bringing up the rear of the group. “Whoa, where did you come from you scary motherfucker?” you tease, earning a big, warm smile from him.

“Been sitting at the bar all evening, Mr. Jake,” he responds, pointing for you to catch up with the rest of them. 

You rest a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’re really good at your job, Dean. I never even knew you were there, should have come and had a drink with us.” You feel your words slurring a bit. Just then, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket incessantly. 

“I wet my whistle with a shot of Jameson as soon as we got there, water the rest of the night,” he replies without looking at you. You laugh and step to the side a bit, pulling your phone out to see Isla calling. Fucking son of a bitch. You slide to answer it. 

“What, Isla? Fuck!” your tone is a bit more harsh than you had expected, but warranted nonetheless. 

Then, all you can hear on the other line is a rush of screams and yells, her voice loud and her words cramming as she lets you know how she feels. You pull the phone away from your ear, holding it there until you find a chance to speak again. 

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, can you–”

Her screams continue, and you realize exactly how this is going to go. How it’s gone hundreds of times before. She’s not gonna let you speak. And honestly, you’re too intoxicated to talk, anyway. You set it to speakerphone as Josh falls back to walk with you. You shake your head as you allow your twin to listen to her incessant rambling. “You hear this shit?” you mumble. The two of you listen for a second more before you realize you can’t do it anymore. 

“Isla, I’m hanging the phone up. Call me when you can have a mature conversation. Bye.” You don’t even wait for her to retaliate before pressing the big red button. In a huff, you bring up your text thread to see if Y/N has responded. Like the gods of divine intervention decided to reign down their bad luck upon you, you find that you had in fact sent those last two risky texts, to Isla.

“FUCK!” you yell, stopping in your tracks, hitting your palm to your forehead. “Fuck fuck fuck!” How could you have been so stupid?! Of course she had a reason to call and yell at you…

Your fingers move to Y/N’s thread, and you see that you were the one who had left her on read. You’re in the lobby of the hotel now, and everyone is dispersing to head to the elevator or down the halls to their respective rooms. You snap away for a second to tell them goodnight, before deciding to take the stairs up to your room. You needed a second, and to work off some of your drunkenness. 

You finally pop into your room, feeling completely idiotic for accidentally sending the right text to the wrong number. You splash some cold water on your face, hoping it will bring you back to earth a little bit, but finding it to have only made your splotchy face and tinted cheeks worse. You brush your teeth and take a piss, finally settling on the edge of your bed to think. 

Fuck it, you finally decide, bringing up your texts with Y/N once more. 

You

11:47PM: I think I can make that happen…

Surprisingly, she responds within the minute.

Y/N

11:47PM: Hey. Thought you had found someone else to sneak away to the bathroom…

Your nerves flush up all over again. We’re still in the clear.

You

11:48PM: Don’t be crazy fledgling. I’m finding you in 5 minutes. 

HER POV

Five minutes? Five minutes!  You stare at the screen for a few seconds before your brain starts to work again, giving you a mile long to-do list before he knocks on the door. 

“What!? What! What does it say?! Hello! Why do you look panicked!?” Ruth asks from the other end of the phone. 

“Oh my god, he’s coming to my room. Right now, he’s on his way right this second, holy shit I have to– I have to clean up! I need to brush my teeth, brush my hair? Shit, I can’t be wearing this! Oh my god, shit I do not have enough time!” you screech, tearing across the hotel room to clean up the best that you can. 

“Focus on yourself first! He doesn’t care about your messy room! Put on some deodorant for the love of god! Did you shave your legs today?! Wait, did you end up bringing that little black sleep set thing we found?” she asks, trying to help you prioritize. 

“Yes! I’m wearing it stupid! Can you not see me?!” you shout, the clocking continuing to tick by. 

“Fuck off, it’s blurry! Okay just go brush your teeth, brush your hair, deodorant, then let's work on the room. Hurry up!” 

You run into the bathroom, applying deodorant as quickly as possible and checking your legs for stubble. “I shaved this morning, but I think it’s fine.”

“Did you shave…everything?!” she asks, just as panicked as you are. 

“Yeah, thank god!” you answer, wetting your toothbrush. 

“Okay, game plan, keep brushing, just listen. He’s into you, you’re into him. He’s been flirting with you all night. He wants you babe, and if it were me? Well, I’d do it. I know what you’re gonna say, ‘Ruthie, I can’t give it up on the first date’, blah blah blah, I don’t care, fuck the police. He’s hot, you’re hot, you’re in Europe, and if you don’t sex that man tonight, you might not get the chance to again.” she lectures, giving you a stern look.

You spit your toothpaste into the sink, wiping your mouth and grabbing for your hair brush. You run it quickly through your hair as she continues. “God, I have got to know what this man is like in the bedroom. I am so living through you right now. I expect every detail first thing in the morning. Not noon, not three, morning.”

You grab your perfume from the bathroom counter and hold it up to the camera, “Should I, or too much?”

“Yes, you should, obviously! But don’t overdo it!” she yelps back. You spray the perfume onto your wrists, careful not to spray too much. 

“Alright, I feel better, but do you think I should change? Honestly, I feel so…”

“What? Hot, sexy? Drop dead gorgeous? Didn’t have a problem with it when you sent that picture earlier, what's different now?” she asks. 

“Well, nothing I guess, I just… He will see me in person. You can see my nipples!” you admit.

“I think he’s gonna see a lot more than your nipples tonight babe, that’s just the appetizer.” she laughs, crunching the ice from her drink. 

“Oh my god you are so gross, okay, fine. I just need to clean up the room and little and–”

A knock at the door renders you both silent. You mouth the words ‘oh my god’, as she laughs silently. 

“I’ll call you later,” you whisper, quickly ending the call and tossing your phone onto the dresser. You take a deep breath and smooth your hands over the black satin tank top, pushing your boobs up, but letting out a defeated sigh when they drop back into place. She better be right about this. 

You blow out a calming breath as you make your way towards the door, twisting the handle and pulling the door open. Leaning against your door frame you find Jake, cheeks flushed and somehow looking even better than he did this afternoon. He’s in the same clothes, and his hair is windblown, but there is something different about him. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you file it away for later. 

You purse your lips in a smirk, “You said five minutes.”

He smiles and nods, “I did, but I had to make a pit stop.”

“What for?” you ask, a playful tone to your voice. 

You watch his eyes flick down to take in your appearance, his chest growing as he sucks in a deep breath, “Oh, you know…had to get something,” he pauses, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “Did you make up your mind?”

You bite your lips together as you open the door a little wider, “Mmm, I thought about it…”

He steps forward, his foot on the threshold, “And?”

You instantly reach for his shirt, pulling him into the room and crashing your lips into his. He immediately takes control, leading you backwards and kicking the door shut with his foot. His hands have found your waist, sliding beneath the silky fabric of your top and gripping into your skin. He backs you into a wall, letting his warm lips drag across your jaw as his hands continue to explore the soft skin of your stomach. It’s not long before his lips are back on yours, the taste of alcohol still lingering on his tongue. 

His knee slides between your legs, parting them just enough to be able to press himself closer to you. Your arms lace around his neck, your hands tangling into his soft hair, as his hips press into yours. The sound of your lips on his is wet and desperate, the two of you devouring each other where you stand. His tongue slides into your mouth in search of yours, the two of you quickly picking up where you last left off. 

You can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket as it presses against your leg, an incessant buzz that drags your attention away from his lips. 

“You wanna get that?” you ask, whispering against his lips. 

“No,” he growls, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. “Probably the groupchat, I’m tired of them interrupting.”

He pulls the two of you from against the wall, walking you backwards towards the bed as his lips pepper kisses up and down your jaw. He tosses you down towards the bed, the fluffy white sheets pooling around your body. His eyes are hazy as he looks down at you, his cheeks still red from what you thought was the cold, but now know is the alcohol flowing through his system. His chest is heaving as he stares down at you, taking in every single inch of your body. You can feel the primal need radiating from him, and you remind yourself to thank Ruth for not letting your change into something else. 

You can hear that his phone is still buzzing, and with a huff of aggravation he pulls it from his pocket and taps on the screen a few times before throwing it onto the nightstand. He drops to his hands, hovering over you as his shirt hangs from his body. You keep your eyes locked on his as you unbutton the buttons, letting your hands run up his stomach and over his chest. 

His lips drop back down to yours, this kiss a little slower and a little more intentional, you can feel that he wants you, and you hope he can tell that you want him just the same. He hums against your lips, the evidence of his need starting to show through in his voice. You let your hands push the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders and he assists by tossing it to the floor. His necklaces hang between the two of you, the pendants cold as they rest against your chest. 

His hand comes up to swipe at the thin strap of your tank top, pulling it delicately over your shoulder while letting his eyes meet yours. You nod your head just enough to give him permission, letting him repeat the action with the other side. 

He brings his palm to rest on the side of your neck, his fingertips brushing lightly against your skin before he drags his palm down your body, pushing the soft black fabric down your chest. 

“This what you wanted?” he hums, dragging his fingertips over your sternum. “When you sent me that little picture? Wanted to get me all worked up thinking about you in this? Thinking about you, out of this?”

Your nipples harden just at the sound of his voice, deep and rich, a gentle slur from the alcohol. He is pure sex as you look up from beneath him.

“Might’ve been…” you answer, biting your bottom lip nervously. 

“Don’t do that,” he says, pulling your lip with his thumb. “Own it. Take what you want.”

A smirk is planted on his lips, his hair hanging around his face as he looks down at you. You decide to do exactly what he says, reaching down to the hem of your top and pulling it up and over your shoulders. His eyes drop down to your chest, now completely exposed to him, the lust almost visible in his dark eyes.

“Shit…” he breathes, his tongue wetting his lips.

He slots his knee between your legs, crawling forward a little bit more and dropping down to his elbows over top of you. His lips connect with your chest, sucking a long wet kiss into the roundness of the skin. You squirm beneath him, the feeling of his lips on your body more than you can handle in the moment. He drags his lips down your body, stopping as he meets the hem of your shorts. 

“Smell so fucking good…You’re so soft, everywhere… Have half a mind to have you like this,” he pants, pressing his lips to your skin again.

“Come back,” you plead, needing to feel his lips on yours.

He moves quickly, grabbing your face with his hand and pressing his lips to yours. You reach between the two of you, your hand unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning the button on his pants. He groans as your hand slips into the waistband of his boxers, gently grazing the stubbly trimmed hair at his base. His eyes flick open to meet yours, almost as if he is surprised you’re doing what he told you to do. You stare at him, waiting for him to tell you to stop, but he doesn’t. You have the answer you need. 

You press further, reaching for him, but surprisingly finding him still mostly soft. His eyes widen a little, and his head drops just a touch. You can tell he knows, and it’s caught him a little off guard. 

You decide to take matters into your own hands, smiling back at him, “Roll over.”

He looks up, a small grin on his lips as he rolls to his back, landing in the empty spot you photographed earlier. You move to place yourself between his legs, reaching for the top of his pants and pulling them and his boxers down over his legs. He kicks them off and you toss them to the floor, taking in the sight of him completely naked in front of you. His chest is heaving as he looks at you, a grin on his shiny pink lips as he watches you slide your hands up his thighs. 

“I know I already told you this, but you’re so fucking pretty I can’t seem to think straight.”

You can feel your cheeks grow hot, the way he’s looking at you and the words falling from his mouth have your heart pumping harder than it has in years. 

“And god when you blush like that, fuck…”

You crawl forward a bit more, positioning yourself over him to straddle his waist. You lower yourself to a sitting position, letting him guide your hips to rest your body weight where he wants it. His hands grip into your hips, sliding under the silky fabric still covering your lower half. His thumbs rub circles into your hip bones, your hips rolling on their own accord against his. A hum leaves his chest as his eyes flutter closed, clearly enjoying his view and the feeling of you beneath his hands. 

You reach for his hand, grabbing his wrist and guiding his palm to rest over your chest, letting his fingers grip into the soft fullness beneath it. He palms at your breast as you continue to rock your hips over his. His mouth opens just a bit as he focuses on you, slowly bringing his other hand to rest over your other breast. His grip is firm and warm, not too rough. A hum of pleasure leaves his lips every few seconds as he drinks in the moment, but still yet he is considerably soft beneath you. 

You lean forward into his hands, letting your lips brush against his neck, your tongue darting out and licking a wet stripe up the column of his neck. His grip tightens and his hips buck upward into yours. You’ve got him where you want him now. 

You pull away from him, moving backwards on the bed until you are hovering right above his dick. Your eyes flick to his, dark and boiling over with want as you lower your face closer to him. You grab him in your hand, feeling that he is still not truly hard enough to do anything with, but you still had a few more ideas yet. 

“Can I?” you breathe, whispering the words against his soft pink tip. You bat your eyes at him, “Please?”

You watch his chest rising and falling quickly, his heart rate sky high as he watches you. “Been dreaming about it.”

You let your tongue glide over his tip, warm against your mouth as your eyes stay locked on his. You wrap your fist around his base and let your mouth sink down over him, running your tongue up the underside of his shaft. You can’t help but wonder why he isn’t rock hard at this point, his body giving you every single cue that he wants you, apart from this one. 

His hand swipes the hair away from your face as you take him, feeling him growing just the slightest bit harder as his tip grazes the back of your mouth. You pull off of him just enough to speak, letting your wet lips brush his tip. “That okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes, I just–”

You grip your hand into his thigh as you shush him, “Shhh, I know, I’m not done.”

You take him down again, bobbing your head back and forth at a steady pace as his breathing starts to pick up. His skin is clammy under your hands and his chest is heaving as he watches you take him as far as you can. 

Your brain starts to wander as you taste him, his natural musky smell translating to the taste of his skin. Maybe he drank too much? Or maybe you’re just bad at this. He should be hard by now. Maybe he doesn’t really want you like you thought. 

A groan leaves his lips and his hips buck up, forcing him further down your throat. “Fuck…”

Okay, that's definitely not it. He has been falling all over you for days, it has to be something else. 

His hand grips into your hair as his hips buck upwards again. “Feel so fuckin’ good baby, shit. Perfect little mouth, knew it would be.” 

You let your eyes flick up to his, staring at him as his tongue rests between his lips. He’s trying, you can tell, but for some reason, it’s just not working. His brow furrows in anger, and you watch as his demeanor shifts, frustration taking him over. 

You pull off him, his dick harder than when you started, but still fairly soft. You don’t know how hard he normally is, but it has to be more than this. Right?

“Jake, we don’t have t–”

He shakes his head, “Mmm, you know what? Come up here beautiful, come lay down for me.”

You do as he says, part of you sad to think that maybe you weren’t doing it for him, but you push the thoughts aside, swapping places with him as he adjusts the pillow beneath your head. He bends to kiss you, pulling away for just a second before pressing his lips to yours again much quicker. 

“So fucking pretty, all of you. But especially that mouth,” he smirks. 

He hooks his fingers into your shorts, pulling them and your panties off in one swift movement. You are bare before him, his eyes widening as he takes you in, finally getting a reaction from his dick. He fists it up and down a few times as he looks at you, “Can I touch you, baby?”

You nod quickly, letting him spread your legs apart with his free hand. A growl leaves his chest as he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, “So gorgeous, shit…”

His thumb swipes up through your wetness, circling your clit a few times causing you to squirm beneath him. 

“Jake…” you gasp. 

His eyes meet yours, “Yeah? You like that? You’re so beyond wet, sweetheart.”

Your hips twist and turn beneath his touch, every angle proving to be more stimulating than the last. You whine, a string of curses and muffled versions of his name falling from your lips. 

“You…” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “Are everything I thought you would be. More, even.”

“Jake, please, I– I need–”

He pulls away from you quickly, his hand still fisting his cock as he reaches for his wallet on the floor. He pulls a condom from the pocket inside, tearing the foil packet open as he kneels back onto the bed. 

“Let me!” you urge, stopping his wrist, “I mean, please, can I do it?”

His eyes flick up to yours in surprise, “Yeah baby, you can do it. You can do whatever you want, swear to god.”

You grab the latex between your fingers, pinching the tip and rolling it over his cock. It's hard enough now that putting the condom on is fairly easy, but you’re positive he was even harder than this in the bathroom last night. You roll it to his base, letting your hand drift back up and over his chest before circling it around his neck. His hands grip your waist as his lips meet yours again, his tongue circling with yours as he moves you back towards the pillows, gently lowering your body to the bed. “Want you so bad, Y/N.”

“So have me,” you breathe, barely letting your lips leave his. 

You welcome him between your legs, feeling his hand reach down to fist his base, gliding himself through your wetness. In only a matter of a minute his dick is softer than it was, and both of you know it, but neither of you are willing to acknowledge it. 

His phone starts to buzz on the nightstand, both of you looking towards it. He doesn’t pay it any mind, letting it buzz on the wooden table until it stops. 

“Look at me, baby, don’t mind that,” he demands. 

You feel him press his tip to your entrance, his eyes fixed on yours. He furrows his brow as he presses his hips forward, but you feel nothing. Your eyes flick down between the two of you, finding that he can’t seem to get hard and stay hard enough to get it in. You feel a pang of hurt run through your chest, almost like rejection, but somehow a little worse. 

“Jake, are you not hard en–”

“Just give me a second, I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” he growls, his attention turning to the still buzzing phone on the nightstand. 

“I mean, I can give you head again if you think–”

“No, Y/N, I just– I just need a second, I’ll be fine,” he says. You can hear the anger in his voice, not at you, but at himself. 

“Is it me?” you ask, running your fingers up his arm that is next to your head. 

“Fuck no. You are everything I want, wet as fuck and gorgeous, no, it’s not you. I want you, I really fucking want you,” he says, stroking himself a few more times. “Alright…”

He repositions himself at your entrance, and this time you can feel him, he’s harder now, enough to slide into you, but still it’s only just enough to slip inside. 

Even half hard he is bigger than the last guy you were with, the stretch as he presses into you making that abundantly clear.

“Oh Jesus Christ, you are so tight,” he pants, his dick hardening a little at the tight fit. 

You slide your hands around his waist, pulling him down a little further as he starts to move his hips, “Oh goddamn…”

His phone buzzes twice on the nightstand as he starts to pump into you at a steady pace, but you ignore it, letting the overwhelming feeling of him moving inside of you take precedence in your brain. 

He groans through closed lips, his brow furrowed in concentration as he slides in and out of you. He rolls his hips as he thrusts into you, a whine leaving your lips as your back arches. 

“Motherfuck, you are–” he stops, regaining his composure, “Tightest fuckin’ pussy.”

Your hands grip into his sides as he picks up speed, his hips slamming into yours as both of you start to lose yourselves in the moment. Finally things felt normal, things felt good, way too good. You wanted this, you needed this, and fuck if he wasn’t checking every box you’d ever had. 

He cups your cheek in his hand, dusting his thumb over your swollen lips just as you part them to suck it in. You watch his eyes roll back in his head as he starts to pant, and you can tell he is dangerously close to his finish. 

You start to speak, ready to change positions but as you open your lips to release his finger, his phone rings, buzzing quickly across the table as the sound plays through the speakers. 

“God fucking damnit!” he growls, “What the fuck!”

“Take it Jake, it’s fine, just– answer and they’ll leave you alone.” you urge, looking to the black phone skittering across the table. 

“No, fuck no.” he snaps, his hips emphasizing his point. “I’m busy,”

The buzzing stops, and he looks back to you, letting his hand drift down to your chest. He rolls your nipple between his fingers, letting his lips meet yours. His kiss is wet, and desperate, his hips starting to falter as they move in messy strokes above you. 

You can tell he needs to cum, his body racing closer and closer with every half hard stroke of his dick. You can also tell he is fighting it, his face is red, and his hairline sweaty. You know it will be seconds, if that, until he is tumbling into his release.

His eyes flick to yours in panic, an almost apologetic look on his face as he breathes, “Baby, I’m, fuck—”

As if right on cue, his phone starts to buzz, the ringtone blaring through the speakers as his hips stutter, slamming into you again as he looks at his phone on the table. His head snaps back to you, sucking in a deep breath of panic as his hips stop, his cock twitching inside you as he fills the condom with a guttural moan. 

The fucked out look that takes over his face is like nothing you’ve ever seen. Reminiscent of a Renaissance painting, the features of his face twist into such a blissful expression that he almost looks like he’s in pain. He’s beautiful, there is absolutely no doubt about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he just came, way, way too soon. 

You are in shock as you lay beneath his panting body, feeling him grow soft inside you once again. He pushes up to his hands nearly instantly, his face riddled with remorse as he realizes what exactly just happened. “Y/N–”

His phone buzzes again, for what has to be the sixtieth time in the last five minutes, a snap of anger washing through you. “Are you going to fucking get that?”

He mumbles a curse under his breath as he pulls out of you, the condom full as he looks at it in shame. He covers himself with his hand as he snatches the phone off of the nightstand and makes his way to the bathroom. You can feel the embarrassment swirling through the air as you hear the sink in the bathroom turn on. 

You grab the sheet at your feet and pull it up over your naked, unsatisfied body, trying to wrap your head around what exactly just happened. You try to catch your breath, the sound of your breathing filling the room but quickly drowned out by Jake’s phone ringing. This time though, he answers. 

“Hello?!” he shouts, his anger apparent. “Yeah I’ve seen him fucking calling, I have been busy goddamnit!” 

You hear the sink turn off and the toilet flush, followed by the sound of his footsteps walking back into the room. “Yes, I will call him, Jesus Christ, don’t ever blow my shit up like that again,” he snaps, ending the call. He pauses as he walks, a hand towel in his grip as he taps his phone screen.

You hear another call ringing out, but this time he's the one doing the calling. He walks over to you with the phone on speaker phone, a look of sadness on his face as he slowly approaches the edge of the bed. He sits next to you and reaches for your hand just as the person answers. 

“Hey, man, been trying to call you.” the man's voice says, a tone of urgency present.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was caught up for a second. What’s up, what’s going on?” Jake answers, rubbing his hand along your arm. 

He turns to look at you mouthing ‘guitar tech’ as he hands you the damp towel. You make quick work of it, wiping yourself off but knowing you’ll be taking a shower as soon as possible. You throw it across the room as he snickers, waiting for Johnny to answer.

“Listen man, I’m at the venue, trucks just arrived and we are doing load out. One of the stage left Marshall cabinets split in transit. Wiring harness is fucked. Amp is…the amp is not looking good man.”

You see Jake stiffen, “What?” 

“Huge gash in the backside, must have fallen or something, I tried to fuck with the wiring as best as I could, it’s not getting any signal right now, man.”

“Holy fuck,” he groans, standing quickly from the bed and gripping into his hair. “No signal? Did you try a direct line in?”

You cut your eyes wondering how he managed to sober up so quickly in the last three minutes.

“Yeah, even DI there’s no signal, just static. Powers’ on, but she’s DOA. Gonna have Mark take a look at it too, but I don’t have high hopes,” he continues. 

“Is there anything we can do? How the fuck are we supposed to get a replacement amp and cabinet by tomorrow?” Jake asks, his voice laced with panic. 

“We can make some calls, I know a guy with some leads. What are the chances of you coming down here to take a look at it? Maybe I’m completely missing something, man. Hoping it's a quick fix. Need your signature for the insurance waiver, too.”

“Can it wait until morning?” he asks, a pained look on his face. 

“Probably shouldn’t, especially if we are looking for a replacement locally.”

He turns to look at you, and you can tell he is conflicted. You bite your lips together and nod your head. This is his job after all. 

He runs a hand over his face, letting out a sigh, “Yeah, yeah, I um– I can be there in a bit. I just need to wrap something up here, and I’ll be there. See if you can get in touch with Hamstead, I’m sure they have a loaner we could use for tomorrow at the very least.”

“Will do man, hey sorry about this, I don’t know what happened, maybe it wasn't strapped down or–”

Jake is quick to cut him off, “It’s fine, not your fault. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yep, see you then,” he says, ending the call. 

He tosses his phone on the nightstand before dropping his head into his hands. “This night has been…”

He turns to look at you, letting out a sigh, “I don’t know what the fuck it’s been, fuck, I just…”

You can tell he is flustered, he can hardly form a sentence. “Listen, I get it. It’s fine, just go do what you need to do. It’s okay, really.”

He nods as he stands up from the bed, walking around the front to start grabbing for his clothes. He doesn’t say much as he dresses, and he will hardly look at you. You don’t really know why, but you can imagine he is feeling a little bad about himself and his performance at the moment. You still haven't let yourself process what exactly happened with the two of you just now, but you will, soon. 

He re-buttons his shirt, pulling his hair up into a hair tie as he lets out a sigh, “Look, I’m sorry about this. I really am, this is the absolute very last thing I want to do right now, especially after… that. But I have to, and I don’t want you to think that I want to because–”

“Jake. I get it. Just go, it’s fine,” you say calmly, hoping he will believe you. 

He grabs his phone and his wallet and shoves them into his pants pocket, kneeling on the bed towards you. He leans in to kiss you, but his lips don’t land on yours, instead missing your mouth completely. A new rush of secondhand embarrassment washes through you, and right now you think him leaving is probably the best thing he could do. 

He curses himself as he stands up shaking his head in defeat as he swallows back his embarrassment. He walks towards the door with a hand in his pocket, turning to you just before stepping out,  “I’ll uh…I’ll text you, I guess, I don’t know, fuck. Have a good night, Y/N.”

The door slams behind him and suddenly the room is silent. No heavy breathing, no pitchy moans, and no ringing phones. Just pure silence. 

You stare at the wall for a full five minutes, the muted TV flashing colors against your skin. You can’t conjure a thought. Not a single one. Nothing other than what the fuck was that?

You want to call Ruth. You want to call her and tell her everything, but you also don’t even know what you would say. Something like ‘Hey Ruth, just had the worst two minutes of sex of my life? Oh did I mention he was barely hard? And I couldn’t get him hard? And that his phone rang the entire time? And that he came in two minutes? And I didn’t finish at all? And then he had to leave as soon as he finished? And now I’m sitting alone and naked in my hotel room?’  Yeah, you needed to sit on this one for a minute. Your eyes catch sight of the flower laying on the dresser, now looking a little bit limp and lifeless but still beautiful no less. You feel a pang run through your chest, tearing your eyes away from it so as not to taint that moment earlier with this one. 

You rip the sheets from your body and make your way to the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as it will go before stepping inside. You let the steaming hot water clear your mind and ease your tense muscles, washing away the scent of his cologne that is lingering on your skin. 

You wrack your brain for answers, though you can hardly come up with anything that makes sense. There’s just no fucking way he is actually terrible in bed. We had so much chemistry, the electricity between us was nearly electrocuting you. He felt so good last night. We were so in sync last night. This had to be a fluke, right? You’ve seen him with his guitar on stage, where was that?!

You lather your skin in your body wash, rinsing away the remaining evidence that this night ever happened. After the best afternoon with him, why was he so off tonight? He barely seemed like himself. Maybe he really did have too much to drink. 

You tried to put yourself in his shoes. If the roles were reversed and it was your phone blowing up like that, you probably would have been a little distant too. But that didn’t explain why he couldn’t stay hard. That was a mystery to you, and you really hoped to god it was the beers and not you. You know he was so much harder last night, you know he was. You felt it. So what happened between last night and tonight? 

Something. You knew that much. 

You turn off the water and wrap yourself in a towel, letting your mind wander with possibilities, trying to convince yourself that what he showed you tonight was not who he really was. You sat back down on the bed you just shared with him, thinking back to that few seconds where things were good. And it was good, it felt good, he felt good. There was no denying those few seconds. But the rest of it, well, that was still up for debate. 

You grab your phone and tap the screen, the display reading 1:02AM. There are no texts from Jake, though you didn’t really know what you expected him to say.

From the little you know about him, when he left here tonight the confidence he naturally exudes was gone, not even in the same building. You knew he would reach out, but only when he was ready and knew what to say. But until then… 

You toss your phone on the bed next to you, quickly changing into a clean pair of pajamas and curling back up into the bed. You lay there staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how you are going to handle things tomorrow. You would be with him the entire day, and you didn’t want to make him feel worse than he likely already did. 

You go back and forth with yourself until you land on something sturdy: You won’t say anything, you won’t do anything. You’ll act completely normal. The same as you have for the last few days. You decide to tear this page from the book and move forward. This never happened. 

Deep down you know there was something holding him back from being fully present with you tonight, but what that is you’ve yet to discover.

—

JAKE POV

The early morning finds you facedown on your bed, still fully clothed, one boot kicked off into the floor, the other still completely on your foot. The sun is far from being up, and you’re thankful that you still have a few hours before its rays beat in through your window. The bustle of the awakening city is loud on the streets below you, and you find yourself wanting nothing more than to stay in this exact position for the rest of the day. For the rest of your life, actually. Maybe, if you bury yourself under these blankets and pillows, everyone will forget about you. Isla will forget about you. Y/N will forget about you, about everything, about last night. It will be like it never even happened. It will be like the most amazing buildup to what could have been a night of pure electricity didn’t take an absolute nose dive into one of the most embarrassing things to have ever happened to you. You’d take tripping on stage a million times over this. Pure. Humiliation.

Yeah, right here, in this bed. Under the pillows. They can’t find you here. 

What the fuck even happened?! Whiskey dick was an understatement. It didn’t even begin to explain what you…experienced. Unable to perform for the most beautiful new thing that has happened to you. Everything was perfect, she was perfect… her confidence was enamoring, her head was off the charts good, and fuck, for the few seconds you had things actually going, it was pure ecstasy. She was soaked for you. Her sounds, her face… fuck. It all came flooding back to your brain, even the way she smelled still stuck in your mind. She wanted you, just as badly as you wanted her. Just the thought of it had you standing at attention all over again, at full force this time, though. And you’d let her down. 

You sit up and roll yourself over. “Where the fuck were you last night, huh? Let me the fuck down!” you audibly yell at what was happening in your still-belted jeans. You force your face back into the comforter, realizing now that a horrific hangover is on the horizon. Your head is busting in two already, not like you already didn’t feel like shit on a boot.

Staying here, under the pillows until sound check. Right here. Not moving. Hiding. 

You know that’s not realistic, though. You contemplate texting her, but what the fuck do you even say? You couldn’t even satisfy her, and ended up satisfying yourself, way too fucking soon. What had you lasted, two minutes? Three max? Like a fucking 16 year old kid. God, what a fucking tool. She probably thinks you’re a horrible lay. You know you’re better than that. 

You groan hard into the sheets below you, feeling the metallic taste of a hangover in your mouth. You need a gallon each of water, orange juice, and black coffee, stat. And probably like, nine pieces of the butteriest toast you can find. And probably a shower, yes, a shower. And a straightjacket, for how absolutely insane you feel. 

Damnit, the amp. Luckily, the rental was in the works of being en route last night, so you feel just a little bit better about that, at least. It won’t be your baby, but it will sound okay. 

You roll and find your almost-dead phone underneath your chest, blinking your eyes as the screen brightens. Nothing. Not even Isla. Good. No one wants you. You can stay here, hidden in your burrow, until you absolutely can’t anymore. 

You’ve gotta say something, anything to her, to start this process that you want to stay millions of miles away from. But the first step to healing is admission, so you go ahead and take it. 

You

5:31AM: I’m sorry. 

You watch as the message is delivered to her, seeing the string of foreplay texts and her photo still sitting in the chat. She’s so gorgeous, how could you have fucked up this badly? Your first chance to show her how you feel and you fumble this hard?

Though there were many factors playing into it, at the very deepest darkest part of your mind, you know why. You know exactly why. Guilt isn’t an emotion you let yourself feel very often, and this morning, you find yourself grasped in the wrath of it. The double-edged sword of your current situation with two separate women is proving to be more intertwined than you’d anticipated, or even foresaw. What you want is clear, though. And you’re determined to get a second chance, no matter how rocky and uncomfortable the road to that chance may be. 

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Skin Deep - Part 10.3

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!freader x male OC, f!reader x Jake Kiszka

Word Count: 9.4k

***A/N: After a bit of a hiatus from the app and writing, this chapter has been a long time coming. It’s been hanging in my docs for quite a while, but I’m stoked to have it finally posted for everyone. This part might be a bit polarizing and intense for some readers, so I strongly encourage you read the warnings before diving right in. I’m quite nervous about this update***

As always, I appreciate all the love, support and feedback y’all give me ❤️

Warnings: cursing, brief mentions of marijuana use and alcohol consumption, angst/toxic themes and behavior (jealousy, extreme anger, allusions to cheating, and manipulation), physical aggression, sexually explicit content - MINORS DNI 18+ (unprotected penetrative sex, rough sex, degradation, dacryphilia - arousal from tears or sobbing, spit kink, spanking, mentions of blood, choking if you squint a lot, and please feel free to message me if I have missed anything on this list!)

Masterpost, Part 10.2

You must’ve fallen asleep the second you closed your eyes because the next thing you feel is a hand nudging your arm, waking you up. You go to stretch out the tightness locking your tired muscles, but the weight of Josh passed out on your chest keeps you pinned to the bed. 

You try to rub the sleepy glaze from your eyes with the heels of your palms, mumbling, “Hmm…what?”

Kai stands, causing the mattress to bounce and creak with the loss of weight. “I need a shower,” He whispers. “Will you take one with me?”

“Sure,” you groan through the stiffness. It takes a little coaxing, but you still manage to slide out from under Josh without waking him. By the time you can swing your bare feet onto the hardwood floor, Kai has already walked out of the room. 

You stumble your way into the bathroom, wincing at the bright lighting. “I gotta pee…” you trail off, walking past him, but when he doesn’t take the hint, you turn to give him a look. 

He lets out an airy laugh and starts to rummage through the vanity drawers. “Oh, kitten…you act like I wasn’t just inside you an hour ago.” He turns his head to you, emphasizing the remark with a teasing wink. “And you wouldn’t believe the money I’ve made off of women pissing on me… So yeah, that’s kind of the least of my worries, wouldn’t you think?” You grimace in disgust, causing him to flash a grin at you before continuing his search, unbothered by you completely. He then asks over his shoulder, “You’re on birth control, right?”

You push out a heavy sigh into your hands as you settle onto the toilet seat, “Yes, Kai. I am sleeping with both of them, remember?”

He huffs, finally finding what he’s looking for — a spare, cheap toothbrush from the bottom drawer, and starts ripping open the packaging and points it at you. “Which reminds me, I should stop by the clinic this week.” While you’re sure it’s only teasing, you shoot a death glare at him anyway, making him chuckle.   

“I’m kidding! Kind of…” He trails off as he pipes out a line of toothpaste across the pristine bristles. “But in all seriousness, what’s up with you and Jake anyway?”

You scoff, “What’s up with you and Jake?”

“I asked first,” he mumbles around the head of the toothbrush tucked inside his cheek.

You remain glued to the toilet seat, pondering over the question in silence as he continues brushing his perfect teeth. A part of you is hopeful that he'll drop the topic altogether, but the curious raise of his brows says otherwise. You wish you knew the right answer — the perfect explanation for what you were. In reality, you don’t have a clue of what the label would be. You haven’t created the space for it in your life yet. “Fine,” you sigh. “I honestly don’t know what’s up with us. Weeks ago I got a tattoo done by him and by the end of that night, I ended up fucking both of them.”

A few seconds pass, making you look up to see Kai’s eyes widen in the mirror until he breaks away to stare at you. 

You laugh nervously, “I know. It’s kind of crazy to think about, but it’s been going on like that — with both of them since then.”

He spits a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink before following up. “Are you guys like…dating?”

The question takes you back, but you can’t say you didn’t see it coming. “I don’t think so. Not like…conventionally in any way.” Saying the words not only to yourself but in front of Kai fills you with a sense of dread and growing shame. You can’t hide behind your ignorance or delusions. Not being able to hold eye contact, your focus drops to your hands as you anxiously pick at your nail beds. “He always gives me mixed signals and I never know what he’s thinking most of the time. When I feel like I get close, he kind of shuts me out almost. Sometimes I get the feeling like we’re a couple…and then sometimes it’s like I’m just a friend with benefits to him.” Your head falls, and finally spit out the fear that's been lingering in the back of your throat. “…I think he’s been sleeping with other girls though.”

He huffs a dry laugh, missing the shift in your tone, “That’s Jake for you.” It was a poor attempt at bringing some levity back, but when he realizes that is failing, sincerity washes over his sharp features. “I’m sorry, kitten.”

Your voice breaks when you ask, “Is that really how he is?”

He shrugs, taking another washcloth from the stack to wipe the corners of his mouth. “He’s always been closed off and to himself, but I can’t say he’ll be opening up to me any time soon.”

You finally get up to turn on the shower, “Yeah, I guess. But what’s the deal with you and him? Why does he hate you so much?”

Kai watches you work the handles to find the right temperature before stepping in. He winces, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Oh…well. I’m pretty sure he hates me because I may or may not have unknowingly slept with his ex.”

That wasn’t the answer you were expecting from him. It stuns you, taking you by surprise as warm water sprays over you. “You what?!”

He shushes you dramatically with a finger to his lips as he follows you inside the shower. “Let me explain,” he starts with a weak laugh, but the smile accompanying it doesn’t reach his eyes. “So at the time, his girl, Roxi, was at this random house party that I went to. She approached me that night and we hit it off, but she somehow conveniently skipped around divulging the fact that she was with, or had very recently broken up with him. One thing led to another —yada, yada, yada— we ended up hooking up that night. The next morning I woke up to a frightening amount of angry and wildly alarming texts and voicemails from Jake. Come to find out, someone saw us together and had told him. To me, she was a hot girl that wanted to have some fun. But to him, I ruined his fucking world and he hasn’t forgiven me since.”

Your mouth drops open but you don’t bother catching it. You stand before him, blindsided by the bombshell dropped in your hands. “Oh my god. You didn’t know?”

He shrugs, reaching for Jake’s shampoo bottle off the tile ledge. “No, I had no clue. I know you’ve never met her, but if you do, you will see that she has a certain way about her.” He chuckles, but it sounds more like a warning. “I should’ve known it was a bad decision from the jump, but c’est la vie I guess.”

Processing everything he has just told you proves to be a nearly impossible feat, but it’s able to bring some clarity to his behavior while leaving you wanting more. “Does Jake know that you didn’t know?”

He scoffs at the notion, “You honestly think Jake gives a fuck about that? He probably assumes I have some fucked up motive to steal you away from him too. Which I can’t say I blame him for.” He pauses, massaging the high-end shampoo into a rich lather through his raven-black locks.  “So it’s looking like I don’t know how to learn my lesson…but where’s the fun in that?”

You reach for the same bottle, throwing him a disappointed glare. “No wonder he’s so pissed at me. I’m such an asshole, Kai.” 

He places his soapy hands on your shoulders, grounding you to him and reassuring you with an affectionate touch. “And how were you supposed to know that, hmm? His hatred for me goes way back… way before you ever came into the picture, trust me.”

He’s trying. You’ll give him that, but the words don’t help ease the guilt you’re feeling. “I certainly didn’t make it better. He’s going to be so upset.”

Kai’s fingers knead away the tightness in your neck. He’s trying to distract you now, and you don’t fight him on it. “I can hold my own and so can he.”

“Does Josh know?”

He hesitates, even if it’s only for a few seconds.“Yeah, but he kind of went Switzerland on the whole thing. He stuck his head down and minded his business, which was probably for the best. Josh learned early on not to insert himself between Roxi and Jake.” 

You try not to let the truth leave a stain on your evening, but it bleeds through regardless.“Why didn’t he say anything to me about her?”

“Probably didn’t think she was important enough to.” Kai isn’t oblivious to how this is affecting you either. He closes the remaining distance between you, tipping your chin up with a careful nudge of his finger, drawing your drifting attention back to him. His piercing green eyes appear darker than before — softer even. The game you found yourselves in has ended, and the intentions behind them have shifted, making you feel comfortable in his embrace. “Listen, don’t let this shit get in the way. If Jake is out here holding grudges, that’s on him.”

You look up and stare into his haunting irises,  muttering, “Okay…yeah. You’re right.” 

Just as you take in his details —the fans of dark lashes framing his eyes, the water rolling off the bridge of his nose, the heavy droplets falling from the ends of his hair— he studies yours.  “You love him, don’t you?”

“H-Huh? What?”

“Josh.” A smirk plays on his lips just as his fingers snake up your neck and skate across your scalp. “I can see it in your eyes when you look at him.”

Him calling you out like that flusters you, and you begin to stammer over yourself. His expression softens at the sight of your anxiety, and he leans in to place a gentle kiss on your open lips. 

It’s chaste and sweet, verging on platonic rather than sexual. “Relax, kitten. I get it. Your secret is safe with me.”

You think of him sleeping peacefully stretched across his bed. You’re blushing, still high of the euphoria and weed from earlier. You've been convincing yourself that it’s puppy love, or at least textbook infatuation, so you take his observation with a grain of salt. Deciding to change the subject, you ask with a quirked brow,  “So what if I met you first?”

His facial expression shows he’s a little surprised by your question, but doesn’t stumble over it for long. “If you met me first? …Well, I would have wooed like I did tonight.” He grins, pausing to capture your lips in another kiss, one that lingers this time. “Fucked your pretty brains out for a few weeks and string you along before slowly distancing myself. Probably tell you that I’m not looking for anything serious because I’m horrendously emotionally unavailable.”

You huff a tired laugh, rolling your eyes before dipping your head under the stream of water. “At least you’re honest.”

“Always.”

Sadness starts to settle when you realize how fleeting this is with him, weighing down on your heart. “So what’s gonna happen tomorrow?”

He hums, mirroring a similar feeling. It pulls his lips into a frown before he hides it with a shallow smile. “We’ll wake up a little hungover, maybe have some more fun. Then we’ll have breakfast and say our goodbyes and I’ll keep being his friend just the same as I did before.”

Your eyes fall from his as you nod along to the rose and fall of his voice. You’re starting to grow attached, and trying your best not to let the reality of this being the last time you’ll see him upset you. 

“Hey, stay with me, okay?”

Your shoulders fall but you mask your emotions with a brave face.“Okay.”

“He feels the same way you do, you know?”

“I dunno about that. You both seem pretty similar in that regard.”

“I’m serious. I can tell. Even if he’s totally being “Josh” about his feelings. I know him well enough to know that they’re there.”

You startle awake. flying into a sitting position to find that you’re alone in Josh’s bed. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you guess it's late morning with how bright the sunlight is shining through the blinds. Worried that you’ve slept too long, you scramble across the mattress to snatch your phone from the nightstand.

10:37 

You hear voices coming from the kitchen, and even through the bedroom walls, you can tell it’s Josh and Kai. You slide off the bed, shuffle over to the dresser, and pull out a band tee from the drawer before stepping out of the room. 

“So you like this girl, huh?” Kai asks. It makes you stop in the middle of the hallway and your heart begins to race. You inch closer, stepping quietly enough not to be detected.

You hear Josh let out a slow, deep sigh, “Yeah. I like her a lot.” 

Your chest cinches a few notches tighter, sending your heart up into the back of your throat. A part of you feels terrible for eavesdropping on a private conversation, but your curiosity keeps your feet planted on the floor. 

“Are you just fucking or is there more to this one?”

You stop breathing, bracing yourself for his honesty. Despite what Kai had told you hours ago, you had your doubts about his true feelings.

“I like to think there’s more than just sex. Fuck, Kai. I think about her all the time. I just want to spend every moment of the day with her. Every day. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’ve never been this crazy about anyone before…which fucking scares the shit out of me. And you know me.” 

“I do. And she’s got feelings for Jake?”

“Probably. Every time I feel like we’re getting a little bit closer, she pulls away and runs to him.”

There’s a pause before Kai hums to himself. “Do you think he has feelings for her?”

“Maybe? It’s hard to tell with him sometimes.”

“Has he dated anyone since her?”

“Roxi?” He pauses for a few seconds. “No, not really. He’s slept with a few, but none of them hung around long enough for me to remember their name.”

“He’s really still holding a grudge about that, huh?”

“Have you met Jake?” Josh snorts a laugh.

“Do you think he’s still hung up on her?”

“For a moment I thought he wasn’t, but sometimes I just don’t know. They were together for five years, Kai.”

Five years. 

“Fuck.” Kai seems to share the same thought. “She certainly didn’t act like it.”

Josh lets out a light chuckle, sounding like he’s moving farther away from you. “She never did. But hey, I’m just glad she’s finally out of his life. Last I heard she was living with some tattoo artist guy in Vegas.”

“…You ever?”

“Fuck no! Are you kidding me?!” Josh scoffs, nearly wrenching at the thought. “Besides the obvious fact that he would’ve murdered me in my sleep, there was a higher chance of her Lorena Bobbit’ing my ass than me having any semblance of a good time.”

Kai laughs, causing his cackle to echo throughout the house. “The crazier the better in my opinion.”

“You would say that.” Josh’s voice and his footsteps grow distant from you, making it sound as though he’s making his way toward the kitchen.

“Sounds like you got quite the mess to sort through.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just worried about it. I did tell her that I would be okay if she wanted to only be with him though.”

Hearing him say those feelings out loud to Kai brings you back to that moment in the car and the guilt you felt, how you both reassured each other the best way you knew how. 

“Do you honestly believe that you would?”

“I’d have to be, right?” The disappointment and sadness in his voice is palpable. 

“Do you think she would do that?”

“I don’t know…” You fight the urge to rush in there and reassure him in some way. 

Kai sighs, pausing for a minute before speaking, “I don’t know about what’s going with Jake, but she fucking adores you, Josh. It’s not much coming from me because I don’t get all lovey-dovey and shit, but I see it. The way she looks at you, she cares about you. That much I do know.”

“Fuck. I dunno…maybe you’re right. I get the feeling she’s holding back something from me…” he trails off. “What about you? Do you adore me, Kai?”

“I always will, pretty boy. If there’s a day that you’re single and I’m finally ready to settle down, You’ll be the one I’ll call.”

“Oh, I’m so flattered,” Josh giggles.

“Shut the fuck up. You know I’m a mess and a walking red flag. You’re too good for me anyway.”

“What can I say? I’m drawn to toxic like a moth to a flame, baby.”

“No, that’s your fucking twin.”

You decide it’s time to make your presence known and walk into the living room. They are both leaning against opposite ends of the kitchen counter when Josh hears you enter. You make your way across the room, catching a knowing look from Kai — one that you’ll choose to ignore for now. Josh perks up, giving you that beaming smile of his. “Hey, baby. How’d you sleep?”

Once you’re close enough, he sets his coffee mug down and pulls you in for a warm embrace, an action so domestic it makes your heart flutter. Knowing what you heard moments ago threatens to overwhelm you, but you try your best to keep yourself calm. You hold his slender waist, giving him a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Pretty good. Didn’t like waking up in an empty bed.”

He frowns as he plays with the hem of your shirt, but it spreads into a grin when he sees that it’s one of his own. Looking down at you with a playful glint in his eye, he bites down at his bottom lip while his hands roam freely up and down your body. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. I just couldn’t bring myself to wake you, and I thought you should sleep in a little longer.” 

He then reaches over and grabs his mug to take another sip. Curious, you tip it down to see what’s inside, asking, “What’s this?”

“Oh! Kai was able to figure out how to use Jake’s ridiculously expensive espresso machine,” he explains, gesturing with the tip of his chin to Kai behind you. “I know we aren’t fancy baristas like you.”

You turn to look at Kai, who is taking a massive bite out of the center of a piece of buttered toast. “You made this?”

Kai nods with a confident smirk, brushing the crumbs off his fingers, and mumbling, “I did. Want one?”

“I would love one,” you reply, pleasantly surprised. While Josh keeps his hands busy massaging your shoulders, you watch Kai start setting up the machine for your shot of espresso. “Don’t you have to be at the shop this morning?”

Josh lets out a whimsical sigh, but it’s obvious he’s less than thrilled. “Sam opened for me, but I gotta head over there at noon.”

The deadbolt of the front door unlocks, throwing you all into a standstill of silence as the ominous clack of boot heels hits the wooden floor. Your eyes glue themselves to the threshold of the living room, waiting for him to step into view. 

Anxiety and guilt send your heart racing into a panic state. You haven’t had the time to pull together a decent explanation to defend yourself. It doesn’t matter, because the second you see him, the words you could’ve prepared would’ve vanished. 

Jake pauses in the entryway, scanning over the scene of the three of you before him. His eyes are covered with a pair of dark wire-rimmed sunglasses that hide his expression from you. You brace for an explosive reaction and fight back the nausea bubbling in the pit of your belly. 

If there were a record playing, the needle would be sent across the vinyl with a theatrical scratch. 

You watch the tightly wound muscles of his jaw clench as he sets his guitar case down on the floor with a heavy thud. His movements are slow, but calculated. There’s no doubt he’s angry. He’s practically seething with disgust. You look over to Josh, desperate for a sense of direction but the worry in his eyes gives you little to no hope.

He removes his sunglasses and hooks them over the collar of his t-shirt, giving you the sight of the tired circles framing his hollow eyes.  “You know, Kai… I thought I made it extremely clear to you that I never wanted to see your face ever again. And yet, you come into my place of business anyway. Which, I let slide because I love my brother. But the fact you’re in my fucking house—“

“I’m not one to turn down an invitation,” Kai interrupts, baiting Jake.   

“Get. Out,” Jake snarls through gritted teeth, letting himself slip. The tension in the room feels like a disease, infecting every inch of your body with each passing second. 

Kai lets the silence stale as his eyes pan across the room, locking on yours for a few seconds longer than they should. “Well, everyone, it seems as though I’ve overstayed my welcome,” he sings with a sleepy lilt, setting down his half-empty coffee mug on the counter. He steps toward Josh at a leisurely pace, pulling him in for an affectionate and gentle kiss to mumble against his lips, “It’s been wonderful. I hope to do this again sometime.” Josh relaxes enough to smile from the touch, but the stiffness returns as soon as Kai separates from him. 

Kai makes his way around the island and leans down to you to place a dramatic kiss on your lips. Knowing that Jake is watching, he makes sure to slip his tongue enough for him to see. He breaks away to breathe you in, humming in satisfaction, “It’s been a true pleasure, kitten.” 

“That’s enough.” Jake’s voice cuts through the air with a razor’s edge. 

Your face flames hot with a feeling of shame. There’s no denying what happened. There’s no backtracking the events of last night in an attempt to smooth things over. Not only has Jake caught you, but you’re rubbing the very idea of it in his face. Keeping his jade-colored eyes locked on yours, Kai straightens upright. The shit-eating grin and the wink he gives you is a tell-all. He’s not intimidated by him in the slightest — it’s all just another play of the game. With the cocky smile fixed on Kai’s face, he turns to face him. “Don’t tell me you’re threatened by me, Jake.”

Exhibiting an unwavering ego, Kai takes confident strides in the face of danger. There’s an unbridled rage tearing at the weakened seams of Jake’s composure, and you’re within seconds of witnessing it. Kai steps between him and the wall, towering over him by those crucial inches. You’ve seen this type of display before — that standoff between Josh and Jake in the tiny office. However, this feels very different to you. This goes beyond petty sibling rivalry. The glimmer in Kai’s eyes tells you he’s nowhere close to laying down and showing his belly for mercy. 

He should just pass by Jake and walk right out that door, but he doesn’t. He gives in to the temptation and decides to toss out a final taunt. “She was a real treat last night.” The way the words slip so effortlessly from his quick-witted tongue leaves a bitterness on yours. “Which isn’t a surprise. I’ve always admired your taste. Although I will say I like her a lot better than Roxi.”

Jake suddenly lunges forward with the same ferocity of a rabid dog, grabbing fistfuls of Kai’s button-up. “Get her name out of your fucking mouth, you piece of shit!” 

Being arguably stronger, roughly forty pounds heavier, and a couple of inches taller, Kai reacts quicker than your brain can process, making it seem as though it’s a frenzied blur of motion. He shoves Jake backward by the scruff of his shirt, throwing him into the opposite wall with enough force to make the picture frames rattle from the impact. Jake’s pinned, having all the air knocked from his chest. As calm as Kai seems to be, you’re not ignorant of the pacified aggression lying just beneath the surface. Through Jake’s grunts, he makes his threat clear as they stare into the darkest corners of their minds through each other’s eyes, “Don’t do anything you’ll regret, Jake.” 

Afraid of the worst, your head snaps back to Josh, silently begging him to do anything to diffuse the situation. Fear has cast over his features as well, leaving you both frozen in place to watch it all unfold in front of your very eyes.  

“Get the fuck off me!” Jake spits, ripping Kai’s hands from his clothing with a frustrated throw of his arms. 

There’s so much more that he wishes to do. He wants to tear Kai to shreds — to throw a well-deserved punch into that chiseled jaw, to break that perfect nose, to leave him bloody and bruised, but he knows that the odds are stacked against him. It’s an unfair fight with far more disadvantages than he wants to admit. This is a match between a man with everything to lose and one wagering absolutely nothing.

While Jake blows the violent plumes of his anger through flared nostrils, Kai irons out the new wrinkles of his shirt with an unbothered pass of his palm. “And with that, I bid you all adieu.” Aware that the stakes are rising by the second, he doesn’t wait for the responses that are stuck in your throat and goes to leave. Before he takes the final step out of the door, he looks over his shoulder. “And Jake? That temper is going to get the best of you one day. Don’t let it get away from you.” 

Jake throws up a middle finger, a gesture to which Kai responds with a dry, humorless laugh before closing the door behind him. Josh hears the door latch into place and steps toward his brother, calling out to him, “Jake—“ 

“Fuck you!” The words shot out of his mouth as a verbal strike — meant only to hurt. He hasn’t bothered looking at you until now, but when those eyes find you, you deeply wish they hadn’t. He glares at you with black, wounded eyes basted in pure, undiluted disappointment. You hate that look. It makes you feel sick and riddled with shame.

He picks up his guitar case, breaking eye contact to shoot Josh a hateful look of his own. He jabs a finger in the air, pointing directly at his brother. “You’re a fucking prick.” 

Josh recoils but doesn’t say another word in defense. Pissed and not wanting to stay another second, Jake takes off down the hall toward the bedrooms. 

You leap off the barstool, sending the chair skidding across the floor as you call after him, “Jake, wait! Let me explain!” 

“Jake!” You bolt down the hall after him, but he doesn’t stop or at the very least, slow down for you. He doesn’t even bother glancing back at you to give you a hateful look. The only thing you’re given in return for your efforts is a slammed door in your face.  You can only stare at the painted wood, contemplating whether you should knock or barge right in. 

He’s shut you out — figuratively and literally. 

Deflated, you walk aimlessly into Josh’s bedroom. Your feet are working separately from your mind, carrying you to his bed. You crawl on top of the disheveled duvet and breathe in the dissipating scent of Kai’s cologne. All you want to do is disappear, to take away the feeling that’s closing the walls of your chest. 

You curl into the fetal position, making yourself as small as you possibly can. Lying there, you have a hard time telling how much time has passed when you hear Josh walking into the room and feel his weight shift across the mattress. 

“Hey,” he says quietly, carefully reaching out to touch the back of your arm to comfort you. Feeling as though you don’t deserve it, you flinch from the gentle contact, shrugging his hand from your body. He sighs, “I know you’re mad at me, baby.” He then clears his throat, but the defeat coats every word like a sickness, “You have every right to be, honestly. I…I probably wasn’t in my right frame of mind last night. I mean don’t regret it… but shit… I wasn’t thinking that clearly either. I saw how the two of you were at the bar and saw the chance. I was so blinded by this fantasy I’ve had to sleep with him that I forgot about your feelings in all this. I didn’t care about Jake either. I knew he would be pissed but I didn’t care.” You can hear how painful the last sentence is to his heart.  “I’m sorry I pulled you into this.”

You stare at the collection of vintage posters on his wall, letting the apology brew in your thoughts as you study the images. You aren’t angry with him. You never were, but you don’t have the energy to correct him on it now. You can’t even say you regret what happened with Kai, but you need answers to the questions assaulting the forefront of your mind. “Tell me about Roxi.”

Some time passes before he cuts through the looming silence. “Ah…shit. I don’t even know where to start with that,” he begins as he stretches across the bed next to you. You listen quietly, keeping your back to him. “I guess they met when they were about twenty or twenty-one. We were all fresh out of our apprenticeships when he started tattooing her and didn’t take long for them to become a thing. A will-they-won’t-they, on-again-off-again thing for five fucking years, babe. One minute they would be the sweetest lovebirds in front of you and then the next they were going at each other’s throats. I don’t want to say it was just her that was the problem, but she put him through a lot of bullshit for a long time.”

You can’t ignore the hints of anger in his voice. “He was in love with her?”

“In love with the idea of her. A version of her that will never, ever exist. I don’t care what anyone says to me about it. That’s what I believe. For years he chased after what he thought she could be. He was so convinced she was ‘the one’  that he bought a ring and everything. But there was no telling him that. It was one of those things you just had to let play out and let him learn for himself.”

You’re not sure why the truth he’s been hiding from you hurts, but it does. You lay silent, repeating Josh’s words over in your mind. 

Josh isn’t oblivious to your broken breathing pattern — how hard you’re holding back from crying. He risks another touch by brushing his fingertips across your back. “Roxi has been out of the picture for a while, baby. Please don’t hold that weight on your shoulders. His issues with Kai don’t have anything to do with you and I, okay?”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

He stammers over his words, “I-I don’t know…I was selfish about you. I guess that it was easier to stuff his skeletons back in the closet. Maybe I thought it would be bad to put his business out there like that. Or maybe I thought she was in the past and it didn’t matter anymore.”

“He doesn’t even want to talk to me,” your voice croaks, broken from our hitched breath. “You saw it. He didn’t even want to look at me, Josh.”

He sighs, turning to nuzzle into the nape of your neck while wrapping a loose arm around your midsection.  “He’ll come around, babe. He always does.” It’s hard to believe him, especially from what you heard about Jake holding grudges, 

You feel the vibration of his phone against your ass. He lets out an annoyed groan, shifting to dig it out from his front pocket. “Shit! Today of all fucking days…” His sigh might as well have the weight of the world. He rests his forehead against your back, mumbling into the worn cotton, “I gotta head to the shop. Would you like to stay here or do you want me to drive you home?”

The thought of packing your stuff and leaving to be home by yourself nearly crushes you. You feel embarrassed, but ask anyway, “Is it okay if I just lay here for a while?”

“Of course, baby,” he coos reassuringly, placing a kiss on your cheek before crawling off the bed. He knows you need the space, so he doesn’t push any more affection onto you yet. “Text or call if you need anything.”

“I will.”

It’s been hours since Josh left for work, and you spent most of that time rotting in the duvet cocoon feeling sorry for yourself. There was a nap or two, but nothing to make you feel well-rested in any sense. If anything, you feel more exhausted, but with dusk finally falling, you’re forced to crack open the door. You hear the ominous sounds of someone shuffling around in the kitchen. The hallway is cast in darkness, but you can see that Jake’s door is open. 

You’re going to have to face him. 

There’s no avoiding it. 

It looks as though he’s cooking dinner, prepping the pile of vegetables stacked on the center of the counter. He’s chopping away but doesn’t lift his head as you step closer. You know he hears you, so you stand on the opposite side of the island and wait for him to finally acknowledge you. 

Even though he’s changed his clothing to a different band t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, he’s never seemed more uncomfortable. His long hair is tied back in a messy, low bun with loose strands falling around his face. You make the first move to break the silence. “Are we gonna talk or what?”

The muscles of his jaw tighten, but he keeps his lips sealed together in an expressionless, thin line. “Jake, come on,” you prod, your impatience growing with every second he chooses to ignore you. He continues chopping, keeping his focus on the large onion pressed beneath his fingertips. His behavior ignites a flash of anger inside you like a struck match. “Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment right now?!” Nothing. Just the repetitive sound of the blade thumping against the cutting board. “Can you just tell me you’re mad?”

Your incessant pestering distracts him, causing the butcher knife to escape from his stranglehold grasp, cutting his finger which makes him drop the blade and hiss a curse under his breath. Instead of breaking away to tend to the fresh wound, he goes back to chopping the rest of the onion. 

“You’re bleeding, Jake,” you mutter, thinking that he would’ve noticed the trail of blood running down the side of his palm and smearing across the vegetable. “Can you please just look at me? Talk to me.” You don’t care that you’re unwelcome. You won’t leave until you get a reaction out of him. “Just fucking say something. Anything. I know you’re pissed at me. Just tell me I’m fucking horrible. Tell me you hate me. Just say something.”

The fraying line that’s been keeping his composure finally snaps within seconds. He snatches the glass bowl full of diced onions sitting on the counter and hurls it into the wall to your right, screaming with rage as it flies through the air. 

The small bowl shatters on impact, sending an explosion of glass shards and tiny bits of onion everywhere. 

“FUCK!” 

You recoil from the sound and the rise of his voice, staring blankly at the scene before you after being stunned into silence. This is the first real, raw emotion he’s shown you, and you’re not sure what to do with it. Several seconds of silence pass before you can finally breathe, “What the fuck is the matter with you?!”

He’s gripping the edge of the countertop with his head hung low, mumbling, “You just don’t understand.” 

“What don’t I understand?”

He reaches for the crumpled tea towel beside him and wraps it around his bleeding finger, muttering in a low, calculated voice, “Kai is a fucking drifter and a player.” He clenches his fist around the soiled cloth, causing his knuckles to turn a ghostly shade of white. “He goes from one person to the next whenever he gets bored with them. It’s always been about an easy fuck for him. He fucking used you like he does everyone else. Don’t you see that?! He doesn’t care about you, dove.” The muscles tighten over his jaw while his darkened, sunken eyes rise to meet yours, giving you an icy scowl that threatens to make the blood run cold in your veins. “Never has, never will.”

Defensiveness comes as a visceral reaction for you. He’s dead wrong, and the last thing you’re about to do is let him barrel over you to prove it. You firmly stand your ground, spitting back harsh words of your own, “Sounds like someone I know.”

“Excuse me?!” He scoffs, chucking the ruined towel off to the side. That one hurt, and the pained look on his face is one you won’t forget. 

You dig your heels in, throwing your arms in frustration as you double down, “Oh, so you can fuck all the girls you want but it’s suddenly a problem when I sleep with Kai?!”

Your thrown-in confession causes him to flinch, but confusion becomes layered deep within his anger. “Other girls? What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“The girls you’re texting, Jake! The women that pop up on your phone all the time!” You scream out, pointing to his phone resting on the counter. “Don’t think I don’t see it.”

“Wait a minute…Are you talking about my clients?!” He snaps, fraying apart while staying oblivious to the droplets of blood that are about to drip onto the floor. 

“Oh please, Jake,” you huff, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest, which brings his attention to the fact you’re wearing Josh’s shirt. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot. I may be naive, but I’m not that fucking stupid.”

He laughs and inhales deeply, reigning in the anger enough to say the following words slowly, as if to spoon-feed you what he’s about to say, “I’m not fucking anyone else. I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

A shred of doubt reveals itself. You want to trust him but your wounded pride forces you to mask it by deflecting. “And you really expect me to believe that? I saw how you flirted with those girls in the front row last night.”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?! You had your tongue shoved halfway down Kai’s throat!”

“What does it matter?! You acted like I didn’t exist, Jake! That I was a nobody to you. Now you’re trying to pin some kind of blame on me for what happened in the past between you and him. But guess what? I’m not Roxi.”

That flipped a massive switch, and for a split second, you almost regret letting her name leave your mouth. You’ll admit that it was immature of you, but you don’t care. The anger that's been kept at a steady simmer between you boils over into a seething rage, popping and bursting onto anything that stands too close. He points a threatening finger at you, spitting the venom-dipped words, “Don’t you fucking dare act like you know anything about her, because you don’t. But you’re right. I expected you to have higher standards for who you fucked than she did.”

“Well, I slept with you, didn’t I?!” You sneer, throwing his insult back in his face. He becomes unrecognizable from the tears glazing over your tired eyes, pooling at your lashes before they have the chance to spill over. You’re just out to hurt each other now, throwing verbal punches to see who can cause the most damage.

It seems as though you got the last shot in because he doesn’t strike out at you again. There are no smartass remarks for him to come back with. His eyes break away from yours, and his gaze falls to the bloody cutting board resting on the counter in front of him. “This was a fucking mistake.”

Moments ago you were shouting at each other from across the granite countertop, but now the house is deathly quiet after hearing those five words, so quiet that the air becomes too thick for you to breathe. The way his voice cracked ever so slightly makes your heart plummet into the pit of your stomach. You wait, hoping that it’s not what you think it means, or perhaps you’re just anticipating the worst. 

Your voice catches from trying not to cry, “What’s a mistake?” 

This feeling terrifies you. You’ve been betting against the odds this whole time, risking it all on the chance you wouldn’t care for him this way. You’ve been ignorant, determined to convince yourself that you weren’t falling in love. 

Love. 

How could you fall in love with both of them like this?

This should be a euphoric moment for anyone— something to be celebrated and cherished. Most would be confessing it under far different circumstances, instead you’re staring at that same man with hurt welling in his eyes. You run away from it like a coward, forced to bury it deep and shove it away before it has a chance to break you. 

His shoulders fall as if all life has been drained from him. He waves an outstretched hand to nothing in particular, but there’s no life in the movement. “This.”

Uncomfortable silence stales between you, and his eyes flicker up to meet yours. You see his brother’s softness in his face — a vulnerability he makes sure to keep from you. The look paired with the answer he gave crushes you. There’s a real possibility that you could lose him now that you’ve done an expert job of pushing him away. The need to be closer compels you to take a step, and you start to circle your way around the island.  “So this is it then?” 

Your hand follows the hard edge of the counter as you round the corner, sliding across its smooth surface. You grip onto it, using it as the only thing to ground yourself until you’re standing beside him. He doesn’t say a single word, move an inch, or even make an attempt to look at you. If anything, he stiffens from your presence. Feeling like he’s giving up on you, you challenge in a low voice,  “Are you really done because you got jealous?”

“I’m not fucking jealous!” he shouts, slamming his hand down onto the counter through the resurgence of that rage.  You jump back hearing the cutting board rattle beneath his palm, but it doesn’t scare you away. He’s just as scared, breathing heavily, watching you reach a hand out from the corner of his eye. He flinches when you touch his arm, but he doesn’t move away from you. In a weaker, pained voice, he says, “Do you actually think I don’t care about you?” 

“Jake?” You whisper meekly, just barely grazing over his splayed fingers out of sheer desperation to connect with him in some way. Your heart aches when you see him pull his hand from yours, leaving behind a red stain across the wooden board. “Jake, please.”

You step into the heat and scent of his body, bringing yourself inches from him. Your broken pleas are the only thing you can offer, begging your way in despite his rejection to keep you out. He warns with your name pushing past his lips through a tired sigh.

You ignore it. With only a breath between you, you nudge your nose into the side of his neck, brushing your lips across the warm skin so faintly he might question if the feeling is real. He shudders through a harsh swallow but doesn’t push you away. You abandon your morals, kissing his throat with much more intent. A soft groan echoes in his throat as your tongue flicks across him and in the blink of an eye, he snatches your wrist, pulling you back. 

You suck in a sharp breath, startled by his movements. While the hold he has on you isn’t painful, it’s firm, keeping you pinned between him and the island’s granite edge. 

His other hand finds the nape of your neck, and he knots his fingers in your hair, forcing you to look up at him. You watch, dumbfounded as his bloodshot eyes scan over your face until they lock with yours. You accept your vulnerable state, submitting to him without a single word of protest. 

“Oh, dove,” he hums, clicking his tongue. “Look at you…whimpering and crawling your way back to me like this. Do I need to lick your wounds for you, too?” He mocks in that gravelly voice of his, sending the words across your lips, each one bathed in whiskey as if he had recently taken a sip. You know he’s far from drunk, remembering the half-filled rocks glass sitting on the counter. “It’s pathetic. Did he even make you cum? Or did he need Josh’s help for that too?” 

It should piss you off—the way he’s speaking to you like this. If you had any sense or dignity left, you would shove him off you and storm back into Josh’s room to gather your belongings.

Knowing you don’t have a response, he continues, “My sweet, beautiful dove. Is that name even fitting for you anymore? Or are you a cuckoo — tricking your way into my nest pretending to be something you’re not? I trusted you, yet here I am with betrayal finding me once again.”

“I’m sorry,” you squeak out, your strength cracking beneath him.  

“Why should I let you back in? Do you think you’ve earned my forgiveness?” He hisses, his hurt seeping into the hushed sound. You don’t blame him. You’re not even confident that you could convince yourself that you deserve it. Left speechless, you’re only able to look up at him, glassy and doe-eyed with your tears falling freely down your flushed cheeks. 

The sight of you changes something within him. He curses to himself before his lips collide with yours, angry and needy. He ruts himself against you, letting go of your wrist to brace himself on the counter. The kiss is heady— desperate with hunger as if he has been starving for this. He pants your name in a bated breath, confessing, “Don’t you see my weakness for you?”

It makes you throb to hear it. You need him. God, you need him and you don’t care what it’ll cost you. He devours you, licking into your mouth to consume everything he can. The smokey taste of him, the feeling of his dominant tongue running along yours, the nipping of his teeth on your lips. With your hand free, you search across his thigh, quickly finding his erection through his sweatpants. The thin fabric does nothing to hide it, letting you feel how hard he truly is. 

You stroke your fingers over his covered length, but he stops you from dipping them beneath his waistband. Breaking away from the kiss, he warns, “I’m not going to be gentle with you.” 

“I don’t care,” you whine into his mouth, fighting the grasp he has around your arm.

He squeezes your hand, emphasizing again, “I’m serious. I’m not going to be careful, dove.” 

You glare into his eyes, staying in his darkened irises — perhaps to call his bluff or maybe to bait him further. “I want this.” 

“Fine,” he huffs, releasing your hand. He then steps back, flipping you around to face away from him. Before you can react, he places a hand flat between your shoulder blades, pushing you down until your chest is flush with the counter’s surface. You shiver the chill of the stone against your hardening nipples through your shirt. “Is this really what you want?”

You swallow to wet your tongue, answering, “Yes.”

Without another warning, his open palm connects with your ass, cracking against the flesh with a powerful slap. You cry out as the sting radiates, prickling the skin with its heat. 

“I turn my back for one second and I catch you giving your perfect pussy away to him.” His fingertips skim across the raised mark he left, tracing along the edge of your panties before hooking the band and pulling the cotton down your legs. You hear the threads of it rip on the way to the floor, then feel his fingers ghost over your bare cunt. He spits, and you imagine how it looks as he starts stroking himself before pressing the head of his cock to your entrance. “Don’t forget your color.” 

There’s no foreplay to get you ready for him this time because he buries himself inside you in a single powerful thrust. The moan that heaves from your chest is guttural. You welcome the pain of him stretching you out so quickly, groaning as it melts into pleasure when he slowly withdraws. 

He doesn’t allow you to bask in it for long, snapping his hips forward to ram himself back into your cervix. His hand grips around your waist, balling the material of your shirt between his fingers. 

He lives up to his word, fucking you harder than he ever has before. There’s no doubt that this is fueled by his anger or possibly a newfound hatred for you, but you take it all in, biting back your muffled cries. While your teeth create a row of indents into the flesh of your forearm, his fingers dig deeper into your hip. He doesn’t talk you through like he has in the past, giving you the sounds of his ragged breathing instead.

The rhythm he uses is unrelenting. The power behind his thrusts is unprecedented. He’s rough with you, just as he promised, pressing you against the cold, hard granite, left with nothing to brace yourself. You’re lost in it, overwhelmed by the fact that this might be the very last time you have him. 

Fearful that you won’t be able to handle much more, you whimper out, “Jake.”

He suddenly freezes at the sound of his name and takes a minute for the both of you to catch your breath before pulling completely out of you. You panic thinking that it might be over, and plead over your shoulder. “No, don’t stop!”

“Color?”

“Green.”

He waits for a second before spinning you around to lift you onto the countertop. He slips himself back in, and after seeing how much you’ve been crying, tucks the hair stuck to your temple behind your ear and cradles your face to kiss you. 

“Close your eyes for me,” he instructs calmly, effectively shushing you. You clutch onto his shoulders and wrap your legs about the small of his back, locking him inside you as you allow your eyelids to flutter closed. He holds you still, sending the warmth of his fluttering breath until his tongue passes over your cheek in a delicate flick. He licks up the trails of tears across your skin, cleaning the dried salt as he makes his way to your soaked lashes. He’s breaking you apart only to put you back together again. 

A choked sob escapes you, “I’m so sorry, Jake.” 

He groans in response to the sounds of your weeping, biting at your swelling cheek before burying his face in the crook of your neck. He breathes you in, and finds a new pace, gliding into you with a controlled ease. 

“Say it again,” he growls against your ear with a deliberate thrust. “I need to hear you beg for it.”

“I’m sorry,” you whine, but absentmindedly. You’re more than distracted, using most of your focus on the way his cock hits your g-spot from the change in angle. 

“Sorry for what?”

“For Kai,” you blurt out. 

His hand wraps around your throat, tight enough to grab your attention and redirect it to him. “Use your words.” 

You look at him, blinking away the cloudiness from your vision to see the sweat glistening across his forehead and his heavy-lidded eyes covering his blown pupils. You can be upset at him later, but for now, you give him the apology he wants. “I’m sorry for fucking Kai.” 

He brings his lips to the shell of your ear — his exhale blowing from his nostrils like air from a pair of bellows. “I thought I told you I don’t fucking share, dove,” he scolds with the words searing off his tongue. “I let you fuck Josh.” A chill runs down your spine because he knows your feelings for his twin. Before tonight, this was all a role, an act that he knew turned you on. That line between it and the real him is becoming more and more blurred, with the phrase ringing in your ears, echoing around in your mind. “Don’t forget that.”

“Jake—“

He interrupts by swiping his wet fingers across your lips, painting them in a sticky, crimson smear. You lick across them, but there’s no denying the metallic taste of blood on your tongue. “Your pussy is mine,” he snarls, letting his jealousy possess him entirely. 

He pulls away slightly and guides you to lean back, creating space between you. You’re able to see the soiled state of Josh’s white t-shirt that you’re wearing. It’s stained in a spattering of bloody prints and wrinkled beyond recognition. You can’t dwell on it for long because Jake’s pace has quickened again, and when he realizes you haven’t responded, he snaps, “Say it!”

There’s ferality in his gaze, and you’re running off the adrenaline of it all — blinded by poisonous lust and raw emotion. “It’s yours.”

“Now touch it. Make yourself cum for me.”

You do as you’re told without hesitation, bringing your shaky fingers to your clit. He holds onto your hips as his line of sight floats from your face down to your pussy, watching you pleasure yourself while he continues to fuck you. 

You notice that his hair has fallen free from the hair elastic, draping most of his face in the curtain of chestnut locks. He’s held onto full control until this point, but now even he can’t hold back, grunting, “Fuck, I’ve missed this.”

Making eye contact with you, he tips his head and spits aggressively onto your swollen cunt — giving you an image you will never forget. He doesn’t even have to tell you what to do next. With slick fingers, you slip them effortlessly across yourself, using your favorite technique. 

You’re close. 

He’s beginning to falter as well, revealing to you that he’s not going to last much longer. You race to the finish line, frantic in your movements to make yourself orgasm. Fighting the temptation to cum, his strokes are a combination of deep and shallow, making sure to hit every spot inside you perfectly. He’s learned you well enough, after all. 

“Be a good girl and make it up to me,” he pants desperately.

It doesn’t take much more for you to fall apart. Within seconds, it all comes crashing down around you. You claw for him to be as close as possible, tightening your shaky legs around his waist to keep him inside you. What would normally be euphoric moans sung into the air, are broken cries and muffled curses. It might’ve been the release you were craving the most, but not the one you needed. 

Because you know when the dust begins to settle, you’ll be left with the truth of it all — those feelings without the sex to disguise them. 

TAGLIST:

@gretavanbitches @dannyandthekiszkas @asparrowofthedawn96 @ageofnations @garbagevanfleet @pennylanefics @alexxavicry @gvfficrecs @jakeyboiiiiiii @doodle417 @richjaaasss @pr41sethemoon @gretavanflowerpowerrr @joshskittytickler @tripthelightfatality @maddie-van-fleet @sarakay-gvf @josiee-gvf @milkgemini @sammiejane22 @gretavanbear @capturethechaos @welllauragvf @averagemisfit03 @myownparadise96 @givemeyourtots2 @gretavangroove @objectsinspvce @myownparadise96 @feilores @josh-iamyour-mama @givemeyourtots2 @joshkiszkasbigtoe @mydarlingdanny @shutupdevvie @twinszka @busybeingtrash @carlybubs @demonrat444 @high-fidelity1 @jake-kiszkas-smirk @sunandthemoontwinflames @klarxtr @sacredthethreadgvf @gracev0609

[builtbybrokenbells]

CAPITAL VICES | GREED

Greed: an intense and selfish desire for something

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, semi public sex, pretty public sex briefly 😭, quickies, fingering (f!receiving), sir kink, lots of dirty talk, touch of degradation, touch of praise, lots of flirting, teasing, cum play I suppose?, name calling, mentions of toxic relationships, brief mentions of abuse/abusive relationships, mentions of cheating, drinking, swearing, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

hi!! i got internet today and finally finished this up. so happy to get back into the swing of things. my second roommate finally moved in and life seems pretty okay for once. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 also this chapter is a wholeee lot, some fluff, lots of filth, and for once, not really much angst!! (Lightly edited too, my apologies)

😈: Call me?

The text tone rang through the air, immediately breaking your focus from the screen of your laptop. You read over the message a few times, hating that it immediately prompted a rush of emotion straight through you. It was despicable that he had so much power over you by simply existing, and the fact that he barely said a word made it all the worse. Perhaps the most incriminating notion of it all was that you were ready to drop everything you were doing in exchange for a moment of conversation with him. Instead of feeding into the temptation, you typed back a simple response.

You: Busy.

The read receipt immediately sold him out, letting you know that he was sitting in the chat awaiting your response. Somehow, he knew you wouldn’t comply. It was a tell tale story, him giving you an order and you doing whatever you could to ignore it. Eventually, he got his way, but you did always seem to put in a good effort. Within seconds, his name lit up your screen with an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, debating on whether to answer or decline. After a few moments of awkward staring, you hit the green button. Before you could even utter a greeting, he was already speaking.

“What’s got you so tied up that you can’t talk, angel?” He asked, the sultry tone immediately sending a wave of butterflies through your stomach.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Jacob.” You snipped, setting your phone down beside you on the table. After a moment of silence, the vibrations began again, showcasing his request for a video call. This time, he really did begin to get on your nerves. Reluctantly, you accepted. “You’re needy today.” You rattled off the astute observation in an attempt to get under his skin, but it did not seem to bother him. He remained silent instead of spewing out a counter argument, looking a bit tense as he studied the screen. “Christ, what is your problem?” You asked, propping your phone up against your laptop screen.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked again, relaxing once he’d recognized the familiar paintings hanging on the wall of your bedroom.

“Working.” You said, biting down on the inside of your lip as you zoomed in on the photograph you were editing. Your eyes flickered back to your phone, the sight of his face nearly knocking the breath from your lungs. “I, uh, I’m just working on some wedding pictures.” You found it difficult to keep your rigid exterior when your eyes connected with his, the soft brown immediately warming your cold expression. “Why the video call? Worried there’s another guy in my bed?” He let out a chuckle, but did not deny the accusation. You knew that’s exactly why he called, but he refused to admit to his jealous tendencies. Although there was no relationship between you two, it was quite apparent that the two of you were only concerned with seeing each other.

“It’s nearly six; why are you still working?”

“Just want to finish these up. I’ve had them for a couple weeks now, and I usually don’t like to keep them this long.” You explained, touching up the lighting in the background of the photo. “Someone has been distracting me.”

“I wonder who that is?” He smirked, happy for the recognition.

“Yeah, I wonder.” You rolled your eyes. “Is that why you called? Looking for some late night entertainment?”

“You always think the worst of me, darling.” He smiled, rustling with something off camera. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“You know you don’t have to compliment your way into my bed.” You glanced at your phone, noticing his eyes lingering over you as you spoke.

“Maybe I just wanted to be nice.” He offered, knowing that his compliment had nothing to do with his desire for sex. You were both aware that all he had to do was show up and he would get exactly what he wanted, but it was more than that to him. He liked to call things as they were, and if that meant flattery in any sense, he was more than happy to dish it out.

“You? Being nice?” You raised an eyebrow, unbelieving that the compliment was without any deeper significance. Even after days full of sweet words, you still had difficulty trusting that he was sincere rather than doing all he could to keep you on his hook.

“Oh, shut up.” He dismissed you. “What are you doing in an hour?” Your eyes flickered to the clock in response to his question.

“Well, that depends if you mean exactly an hour from now. At 6:47, I’ll probably still be sitting here working, but at 7, I’ll be cozying up with a bottle of wine, wondering when you’ll come knocking on my door.” He laughed at your need for theatrics, finding your wit incredibly alluring.

“How about at 6:30, you have your hair done and put on a pretty little dress, and at 6:45, you answer the door and let me take you to the bar for a few drinks?” He offered, unwilling to take no for an answer.

“Why would I come with you to the bar when I can get drunk at home?” You questioned, already knowing that you would obey his wish and be waiting for him well before he arrived. It still proved plenty of fun to push his buttons, and you couldn’t resist. “It would be much more peaceful; I wouldn’t have to listen to you all night.”

“You’d love to listen to me all night, don’t fool yourself.” He brushed you off. “I know I’d love to listen to you all night.” His tone dropped as he added the second part, letting you know that conversation was not something he was expecting to come from your mouth by the end of the evening.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Why waste your money on drinks when you can come fuck me right now?” You posed the idea, hoping that he might comply with the request so you didn’t have to waste time dressing up. It was a fruitless endeavor anyway, knowing that when he got his hands on you, the dress would be long forgotten and your makeup would be ruined.

“Because I’m going to the bar with my brothers, angel, and I’d really like it if you came, too.”

“That seems awfully domestic.” You muttered. “Meeting the family definitely isn’t my definition of casual.”

“It’s my definition of friends.” He argued. “Besides, you’ve already met Josh. I know you’ll have a great time.” You heaved a long sigh, saving your work and facing the phone fully. He gave you a smile when he noticed your attention was focused on him.

God, how he loved to be the center of attention.

“Then I’ll take you home,” he explained, making sure you were listening carefully “and I’ll fuck that attitude out of you, all night long.” Your cheeks dusted pink at his vulgarity. Although you had effectively said the same thing, it always seemed dirtier coming from his lips. “Sound like a deal?”

“6:45, Jacob. Don’t be late.” You warned.

“For you? Never.” He smirked, ending the call with no formal goodbye. You sat for a moment, shaking your head at the strength in which he affected you. Without any further debate, you closed your laptop and stood from your chair, making your way to the bathroom to hop in the shower.

It had been about three weeks since the fateful night at the bar left you tangled in Jake Kiszka’s web. Three weeks of constant certainty that the two of you would remain solely connected through intimacy but neglect any romantic feelings. It was working out well, but your excessive indulgence had been pushing boundaries of greed since the first night you met. Now, it was uncommon for you to spend a night without being immersed in him, whether than be at your own home or at his. Your bed smelled like him and his memory was embedded in the fabric of your pillowcases. And in your shower, and your kitchen counter, and even your living room furniture. There was no part of your home that was free from the mark of his memory, and even if you tried to convince yourself to hate it, you knew it was there to stay.

There was not a surface in your household that was free of his touch, and not a fiber of your being that was free of his deadly charm. He had a hold on you stronger than anything you had felt before, and it was welcomed, even if you refused to admit it to him. Jake’s company was fantastic, and the fact that you could indulge in it without worry of further commitment or heartbreak was comforting. He was not in love, and neither were you, and you were both content with the knowledge that you did not have the intent to be with each other in such a way.

He had become your friend despite your reluctance to accept it. On top of that, he’d become the very thing that haunted every thought and dream that crossed your mind. You were a woman gone mad, desperate for a hint of attention and begging for the grace of his hands. The concupiscent nature between you was near embarrassing to choke down, and the strength in which you felt for him was incomprehensible. You needed Jake in the same way a starving man needs food, and the pleasure that he gave you had long surpassed a need for survival; sometimes, it felt as though it was the very thing that your being was put on earth to receive. Pleasing him went hand in hand for all he gave to you, and you were fine knowing that the two coincided with perfect unity.

He was placed in your life for many reasons, and sometimes you believed none of them were good, but you knew that you would go to the ends of the earth to reward him for the service he provided you. It was a relationship built from sin, yet even the barren depths of hell could not scare you away from him, because an eternity filled with suffering would be worth the moment of euphoria you felt at his hands. He was the devil, and you were the worshipper that in turn, gave him all of his power. He would be nothing if you were not feeding in to him, but the chains that bound you to him were so tight that they had fused to your skin. It was a vicious cycle that both of you were aware of, yet cared little about freeing yourself from it.

Love, although not something that you wanted to admit to, seemed to be creeping up on you with the utmost of silence, trying it’s best to kill you before you ever noticed it’s company. You were not in love with him, and even when he was wrapped around you in the most intimate display, you still did not feel the emotion. But, just because you did not feel it, did not mean it did not exist. Love was everywhere, surrounding you at all times and existing within you even while asleep. It was not love in the traditional sense, and nowhere near close to the kind that made you want to get married and settle down with children. It was the love of his company, and the love of his sharp tongue and sweet words. It was present in the shared jokes and coffee in the morning after spending the night together (Coffee and lunch had become routine, because you did well to adhere to your no breakfast rule).

It was different than any love you had experienced before, because it was not the type that made you willing to sacrifice yourself on his behalf nor go insane trying to love someone who did not love you. It was enjoyment in his company, and the laughter that hung in the air. You loved him as a friend, and you were in lust with him as a person. You were not dependent on his help to survive, but you did not want to picture a life without him in it. He was a great companion, and a fantastic friend, but you could not seem to view him as anything more. You did not want to blame it on his character, because it was simply not true. Jake was fantastic, but it was your own personal issues and morals that stood in the way of anything further than casual sex. So far, despite your limited time apart, he hadn’t seemed to overstep any boundaries or push your limits. As far as you could tell, he was content with the same things you were, and he had no interest in anything more.

For now, it was a comfort to know the both of you wanted the same outcome, but perhaps it was the most dangerous thing of all. The only thing that was worse than one person falling unwillingly, was both of you falling unknowingly.

You climbed out of the shower, drying off as you checked the time on your phone. Once your body was free of any water droplets, you wrapped your hair in a towel and moved on to your closet. Your eyes scanned your wardrobe, landing on a cute little black dress. You slipped it on, settling your arms in the long sleeves and straightening the front. It had a plunging neckline, the bottom of it reaching just under your chest on your sternum. You searched your room for tape to hold the soft fabric in place. When you were certain it would not move, you fixed the bottom, settling it mid-thigh. You took a quick look in the mirror, content with your choice and ready to move on to makeup.

In the bathroom, you had a constant eye on your phone to ensure Jake wasn’t texting or calling. He hated to be kept waiting, and you liked him enough to not want to push that button. You ran a comb through your hair as you blowdried it, adding a few loose curls to the ends for some volume. With little time to spare, you dusted some eyeshadow over your eyelids and put some mascara on your lashes after dabbing on a touch of foundation. You picked through your lipglosses and rushed through the application after hearing a knock sound on your door. With a small smile on your face, you rushed to greet your company for the night.

When you opened the door, you nearly fell to your knees at the sight. Jake was dressed in all black, with similar clothes to the night you met him, but somehow he seemed even more beautiful than he did then. There was a chain dangling from his neck and a few rings on his finger, and of course, the familiar cocky smirk adorned on his lips. You began to realize that Jake would not be himself without it. “6:45 on the dot.” You noted, your brain finally catching up with the moment.

“Told you I’d never be late for you, angel.” He recalled, taking a long look over you. “Seems like we match.” He tried to hide the lustful staring, but his eyes were permanently fixated on the exposed skin on your chest.

“I guess so.” You said, your eyes just as focused on the unbuttoned portion of his shirt. The need you both displayed for each other was shameless, and it was the loudest thing in any room you entered.

“You look fantastic.” He said, taking a step forward and letting the door close behind him. When he did, you caught a strong scent of cologne that was unfamiliar to you. It was new, it seemed expensive, and it was so heavenly that it was difficult not to tear his clothes off right then and there.

“Is this what you had in mind for a pretty little dress?” You teased, giving him a smile.

“Even better than what I had in mind.” He corrected, snaking his hand to your hip and pulling you into him. He brought his free hand to your chest, gently running the knuckle of his index finger down between your breasts and stopping at the same spot that the fabric resumed. A shiver went down your spine at the light tickle of his touch, and your skin ignited with a fire that could not be contained. “All of this just for me, sweetheart?” His tone was low and gravely, overtaken by desire for you.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, honey.” You brushed off his claim, yet both of you knew the defence was weak. You dressed to impress him, and his eyes and hands were the only thing you wanted on you. “Maybe I just wanted to make a good first impression.” He raised an eyebrow at your statement, challenging you without saying a single word. You nearly faltered under the weight of his stare, but you remained strong despite your tendencies to submit to him.

“Your idea of a good first impression is dressing like a whore?” He questioned, but the harsh words did not match his stature nor his tone. It was incredibly playful, almost as if he was trying to initiate foreplay already. Your cheeks burned red at the statement, but you continued holding his unwavering stare.

“Worked on you, did it not?” You asked, a small smirk playing on the corner of your mouth.

“So you’re trying to get them into bed, too?” He did not lighten up on his intense gaze, but somehow you were just content that you seemed to catch his undivided attention.

“If I remember correctly, you were doing all of the trying that night. I wasn’t interested in taking you home.” You reminded him of his relentless efforts and your continuous rejection as if it hadn’t been playing on repeat in his head since it happened. His hand slipped to your ass, bringing you closer to him with a force that made your head spin.

“Are you trying to get yourself in trouble again?” He asked while his fingers pressed into the skin that was already bruised from the night before. The pain held little importance compared to the mess that was beginning to form between your legs. “Why is it so hard for you to admit that you want to look good for me?”

“Because I’d hate to fuel your ego any further.” You snipped, but your hand was in search of him, landing on his side as you attempted to pull him closer. “And I’m not a liar.” You were, but neither of you needed to point out the obvious.

“That’s okay, angel. You don’t have to say it. Your body does all the talking for you.” He loosened his grip, giving you a small pat on the ass. You couldn’t help the frown that took over your face as he began to pull away. He caught sight of your expression, pausing for a moment as a glimmer of joy filled his eyes. “So that’s what it is,” he muttered, his gaze flickering to your lips. “You were hoping to piss me off enough so I would fuck you before we left.”

“No,” you shook your head, rejecting the idea even if he hit the nail straight on the head. He gave a low chuckle, leaning down and pressing his lips to your own. Your eyes fluttered closed, finding your prior arguments ceasing to exist within seconds of his touch. When he pulled away, the smile had returned to your face as if it never left at all.

“I missed you, sweetheart.” As domestic as the statement was, you couldn’t argue with it, for you had missed him just as much.

“I know.” You hummed. You did not have to say it back because he knew you did, too.

“Get your stuff so we can get going.” He ordered.

“Pushy,” you muttered, but turned to do as he asked.

“The faster we get there, the faster we can come back here.” He explained, watching you intently as you walked away from him. He was already itching to get that dress off of you, and it was no secret. You could see it in his eyes.

“Could just stay here.” You offered, calling out from your bedroom. You weren’t opposed to meeting his brothers; far from it, really. You quite enjoyed Josh’s company when he showed up unannounced at Jake’s apartment, and you could only assume you’d get along just as well with the others. What you did like more than drinking was the sex Jake had to offer, and you knew sitting tipsy in a bar booth was nowhere near as enticing as having him alone in your bed.

“You don’t sound very excited.” He noted, holding his hand out for you to grab as you walked out of your room. With little hesitation, you slipped your own into his and flicked the lights off.

“I am excited to meet them, but more excited about what comes after.” You corrected, pulling your keys out to lock the door behind you.

“Trust me, angel, if you’re good for me tonight, I’ll be good to you.” You nodded, knowing that he wouldn’t lie to you about that. As for being good, you weren’t sure if you could uphold the standard, especially to his expectations. Holding your tongue had never been a strong suit for you, but you could definitely give it a shot.

“So what do they think we are?” You asked, letting him guide you to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door for you, allowing you inside. Once you were settled, he closed it and got in the drivers seat. “Do I have to pretend that we’re in love, or do they know what we’re doing?”

“Sam and Danny think that we’re friends.” He chuckled, starting the car before looking over to you. “Josh only knows better because he saw you in my apartment.”

“Ah, so I’m a dirty little secret?” You raised an eyebrow. He smirked, giving a shake of his head as he slipped his hand to your thigh. You rested yours on top of his, hoping that he would keep it there for the whole drive.

“No, sweetheart.” He said, backing out of your driveway and into the road. “I just wanted to avoid them having any impression of you in their heads before they met you.”

“What does that mean?” You questioned, looking out the window as he drove.

“That means,” he paused, turning up the radio only slightly “you’re more than just someone I have sex with. I didn’t want them to know you as that, because you have way more to offer.” You couldn’t deny the tugging of your heartstrings as he spoke, finding his response genuine and sweet. “I don’t want them to like you because they feel like they have to. I want them to like you because they got the chance to know you like I do.”

“No pre-existing conditions,” you whispered “thank you, Jake.” Instead of a verbal response, he gave your leg a light squeeze. “You must bring home some interesting women if you’re scared they’re going to feel required to like me.”

“Why do you think I don’t date?” He quipped. His tone was light, but it didn’t seem like he was joking. For a moment, you felt like you could see straight through him. For another, you felt like you could relate to him. You did not know how to respond, so you didn’t. You were not in the game for comfort or therapeutic measures, and neither was he.

As you looked out the window, a strange feeling washed over you. You did not know Jake nearly well enough to be so entranced by him. You had pegged him as a whore without really knowing who he was, and you had built your walls up so high that you could not see over them for long enough to understand Jake for what he truly was. He did not seem to want a relationship with you, but he did want to be involved with you, and so much so that he hadn’t let you forget it since the minute he walked into your life. It did not appear that he was entertaining anyone else, and in truth, you did not fear he was simply because you knew he did not have the time. Between working, texting or calling you, or being with you, he seemed pretty preoccupied. More than that, he seemed content. In some strange way, you were, too, and one of the biggest problems you had with dating had already been conquered without you even realizing it.

Jake was integrated in to your daily routine so well that it almost seemed empty without him, and it was not in the negative way you perceived it to be in the beginning. He was a positive addition to your routine rather than a distraction, and he did not interfere with the things you believed he might. When you found clothes he forgot, you washed them and folded them alongside your own to return to him at a later date. He watched whatever you put on the television without a complaint, and offered you new music rather than forcing it upon you. He took up space in your bed, but did not impede on your own. He did not keep you up at night by snoring or stealing blankets, and often times, you slept better with his lazy arm slung over you. You did not want to wed him, but he had certainly proven that he was not a waste of your time.

Denial is a stage of grief, after all, and grieving your former self was all you had been doing as of late.

“What’s your favourite color, Jake?” You asked, looking back over at him. He glanced at you from the drivers seat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he processed your question.

“What?” He laughed, still unsure of your words.

“Your favourite color.” You repeated as if it was a completely normal inquiry.

“Uh… red, if I had to pick.” Fitting for the devil, you thought.

“Okay.” You nodded, looking back out the windshield.

“Why do you ask, sweetheart?”

“I guess I just feel like I don’t know enough about you sometimes.” You explained, feeling a small spark of embarrassment ignite in your chest. “We spend so much time together and I don’t even know your favourite color or which brother is your favourite, or anything like that.” He let out another hearty laugh at your words, finding your desire to know more about him intriguing.

“So you want to know me, now?” He asked, surprised that you were asking questions first.

“We’re friends, are we not?” You snipped, your tone sharp and defensive.

“I’d like to think so, but you seem to disagree.” He chuckled. “Ask me whatever you want angel, and I’ll answer.”

“Whatever I want?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering if he realized the extent of his promise. He did not try to take back the claim. Instead, he nodded his head to show you he was being truthful. “Okay, I guess I will, too.” Although begrudgingly, you thought it was only fair to be open and honest with him if he was willing to do so with you.

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked, curious himself.

“You’re pushing it.” You warned, a smile on your lips to show you were joking. “Green. Dark forest green, like the way the trees look when the sun has just set.”

“Good to know.” He said, making sure to store the information in his mind.

“Do you do this often? Or am I just one of a kind?” You finally spewed out the most pressing question in your head.

“No, you’re one of a kind.” There was no room for doubt in his answer, because his tone was laced with utmost certainty. “I’ve never done this before, actually.”

“So why am I so special?” He looked back over at you, studying your face as he formulated a proper response.

“You’re different than anyone I’ve ever met.” He started slow, trying his best to word it properly. “I don’t like dating, and I don’t like commitment all that much, but I liked you from the minute I saw you. I wanted you, but for some reason, I wanted to know you even more than I wanted sex. I didn’t want to leave in the morning and never see you again.” He said, focusing on the road as he spoke. “I figured I’d shoot my shot and if you turned me down, no harm no foul. Then I started talking to you, and I knew there was no way I was walking away without you. Your snarky little comments and your sarcasm was impossible to ignore, and your lack of interest was just making me more interested. You had a comeback for everything I said, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who I clicked with like that.” He shrugged. “The sex was mind blowing, and you get along with Josh really well. Was kind of a no brainer for me.”

“Oh,” you nodded, feeling your cheeks warm with another blush. You hated that you always seemed to be blushing when he was around. “I, uh, I don’t like that stuff either, and I really don’t like one night stands, but I liked you too. I’m pretty stubborn, and I think I just assumed you were lying to get what you wanted.”

“S’okay.” He gave your thigh another squeeze. “I get it. People suck.”

“Yeah, they do.” You agreed. “I told myself a long time ago I would never date anyone again, and I still feel that way, but I do like you and I like what we’re doing.”

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but I’ll always listen.” He promised, pulling into the parking lot of the bar.

“It’s not a very long story, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with it.” You shrugged.

“I’ve got all the time in the world.” He assured you, putting the car in park and turning his attention towards you. When you caught his eye, it was astounding how much care was held in his gaze.

“I’ve gotten my fair share of strange looks and whispers around town for the last few years.” You explained. “Usually when you’re divorced before 25, people talk. At 22, it was even worse.” He did not change his expression, nor did he make a move to speak. He was listening, and he knew he would listen to you until long after the sun came up with no judgement and no interruption. In the three weeks he’d known you so intimately, never had you mentioned a word about your past so bluntly. He was desperate to know you, and he felt lucky that he was even getting the chance.

“I was stupid, and I married my high school sweetheart. At eighteen, he bought a cheap ring at the nearest pawn shop, and I wore it proudly, just like it was the most expensive diamond in the world. By nineteen, we were moved in to a shitty house in the poor part of town and I had his last name. Life wasn’t glamorous, and it certainly wasn’t easy, but I was happy. I worked part time as a server ay diner off the highway and made the rest of my money taking shitty pictures off my dad’s old camera from the 90’s.” You said, looking down at his hand burning into the skin of your thigh. It looked prettier on you than your ex’s ever did, and even in the short time you knew him, you knew that for certain. “When you’re that young, you don’t listen to anyone. No matter how many times I was told I was making a mistake, I didn’t listen. Kids never do.”

“What happened, angel?” He asked, noticing the disdain growing in your eyes.

“People change.” You finally looked up to meet his eyes. “Sometimes for the better, but most of the time, it’s for the worst.” You weren’t sure why you felt so comfortable telling him everything, but you didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him, and you knew that no matter what, the story would be safe with him. “By twenty, he’d already slept with half of the women in the neighborhood; it didn’t seem to matter if they were married too. If anything, I think he liked the thrill more than he liked getting off. Before I turned 21, he stopped saying I love you and turned to fists and raised voices. I was lucky that my sister opened up her spare room to me when I finally found a way out, and I was even luckier that he had a good job and lots in his savings account when I took him to court. I got a restraining order and changed my name, and bought a house on the other side of town with the money I got in the settlement.

“I had no idea, y/n.” He said, a spark of sadness showing in his eyes.

“Of course you didn’t. I’m not that person anymore, and I never will be. I don’t talk about it because it’s not who I am, and it’s not something that holds any value anymore. I changed, and I got over it; it was five years ago, but I don’t date anymore because I don’t think I could ever give anyone any power over me again.” You were lying through your teeth, because you knew he held a power over you, even if it was not romantic. Your strength astounded him, and as much as he wanted to voice his willingness to protect you for the rest of his life, he knew you did not need it. You seemed like you had more strength at 27 than he could ever comprehend in his lifetime. “It doesn’t change the person sitting next to you; I’m the same as I was the minute before I opened my mouth, and I don’t want you to think differently.” You took in a long breath. “Friends know each other, Jacob, so don’t ever doubt our friendship again. You know more about me than most of the world.”

“Understood.” He smiled. “Friends it is then, angel.” He was estatic to finally hear the words come out of your mouth without hesitation.

“What about you, then? Dating isn’t your game either, so I hope your story isn’t as tragic.” You joked, trying your best to lighten the mood. The tension was heavy in the air, and unlike usual, it was not sexual in any way. The weight of your confession was crushing the both of you, and you desperately wanted to change the subject.

“No, not quite.” He chuckled, understanding that you wanted to joke your way through the hurt. “Cheating takes a toll after a while, and I guess lots of people find it a fascinating hobby.” He explained. “After it happens so often, you get sick of pouring your heart into someone who doesn’t really give a shit in the end. I dated a girl for a very long time. We met not long after I graduated and we stayed together until about a year before I moved here. Loyalty wasn’t her thing, and I think I was too blind to see her for what she was. The guys hated her, but love makes you stupid.”

“That it does, Jacob. That’s why I don’t do it.” You said. “I value my sanity far more than I care about being alone.”

“Right,” he nodded “I spent a few months heartbroken, and then I just stopped caring. I had a few one night stands, but I didn’t really like it. Sex is fun, but when you told me there was no point in getting to know someone only to try and forget them in the morning, I couldn’t have agreed more. When I met you, and you felt the same ways I did, and you understood that sex is different than a relationship, it was like a breath of fresh air.”

“It was.” You agreed. “I like being friends with you, Jake, and I really like having sex with you, but that’s why I was so stern about not falling in love. I’m not ready for it, and I probably never will be.”

“I get it, and I feel the same way.” He sighed, happy to know the truth about the situation.

The only unfortunate part of the truth was that it did nothing but open the next door that was in the way of falling for each other.

“I’d like to know you, Jake.” You admitted. “Really know you, like more than what we’re doing now.”

“I’d like that, too.” He smiled.

“Still no breakfast, of course.” You informed.

“Of course not. Wouldn’t dream of it.” He laughed, genuine happiness radiating from his features. You felt a flutter of warmth in your stomach, finding yourself almost too excited to see him happy. “Would you like to go inside?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt. He got out of the car to open the door for you, holding your hand as you steadied yourself on your feet. When he was certain you had your balance, he slipped a loose hand to your lower back. “I’m excited to meet them.” You assured him, knowing that he had fear of you going because it felt obligatory.

“Good, I know they’re excited, too.” A small smile crossed your lips as he opened the bar door for you, allowing you inside first. When he stepped in beside you, his eyes drifted across the filled booths. Ray caught sight of you from the bar, sending you a wave as he studied the sight before him. Not once in the last five years had he seen you walk in the bar with someone by your side, but he was happy to see the smile on your face. Usually it was hard to get one out of you until you were a few drinks deep.

Jakes eyes landed on a familiar face and he began guiding you towards your company for the night. You drew in a deep breath, settling your nerves as you tried your best to convince yourself the night would be good. “Hey!” An excited voice called out. The familiarity was nice, and you looked to meet Josh’s eyes as Jake pulled up a chair at the end of the booth. “I was beginning to think you’d never show up.”

“Sorry, that was my fault.” You chuckled. “I was caught up with work.”

“No need for apologies, you’re here now.” He assured you. You looked to the other side of the booth, catching the curious eyes of two more boys. You gave a warm smile, extending your hand out to shake theirs.

“Hi, I’m y/n.” You said, shaking the first boys hand.

“I’m Danny.” He smiled, his eyes lingering over your face. He seemed sweet, and you didn’t even need to talk to him to sense his kindness. It was radiating from him. You did the same with the next boy, already knowing who he was without him saying his name. If you ran into him on the street, you were certain you’d recognize him. He looked so similar to Jake that it was nearly alarming.

“And you’re Sam?”

“So he’s told you about me?” You had to laugh at the similarity between his statement and the one Josh gave you when you first met.

“Only good things.” You promised.

“I can say the same.” He grinned. “I hear you play piano?” He raised an eyebrow, curious about the fact.

“You heard correctly.” You nodded. “My mom thought it would be a good way to keep me busy, and she was right.”

“I’d love to hear you play sometime.” He said, genuinely curious.

“I’m sure we can arrange something. I hear you’re quite talented, too.”

“You should come to our next show.” Josh offered, cutting in with his grandiose idea.

“I’m sure she has better things to do.” Jake chuckled, rolling his eyes at his brother.

“No, I’d love to, actually.” You shut his notion down. “I haven’t even heard him play yet, so maybe we could kill two birds with one stone.” Sam nearly choked on his drink at your words, looking over at his brother with wide eyes.

“He hasn’t played for you yet?” He asked, looking back to you. “I have a hard time believing that.”

“Guess we just never got around to it.” Jake said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while he hoped they would drop the subject.

“Are you nervous?” Sam asked, even more baffled than he was before.

“No,” he snapped, shutting him down. “Quit it.” You chuckled at the altercation, finding their banter funny. Seeing them so close and comfortable with each other made you miss your own sister. She had moved a few towns over the year prior, and you hadn’t seen her much since. Sam seemed to back down at his sharp tone, settling back in his seat while he sipped on his drink. “Do you want a drink?” Jake asked you, prompting you to sit down beside Josh in the booth.

“Yes, please.” You smiled, following his order. Jake nodded, already knowing what you wanted. He hadn’t managed to forget a single thing about you since you first met. Sometimes, it felt like the knowledge plagued him and he would die from the sickness of needing more.

“So, y/n.” Sam said, watching as Jake disappeared from sight. “What do you do for work?”

“People pay me to take their picture.” You explained. “Weddings, maternity, cheesy family portraits, all that fun stuff.”

“Ever do photography for a band?” He asked.

“No, but your brother has been trying to convince me to do your promo shoot for the new album.” You admitted. “It seems like it would be fun, but I don’t know if I’m what you’re looking for.”

“Don’t say that.” He scoffed. “I’m sure if Jake is okay with it, you’re more than fantastic. He’s pretty picky when it comes to band stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, intrigued by his words.

“Yeah,” all three agreed, the response heavy. “The whole music thing was his dream, so he’s pretty specific. He must like you a lot.”

“Oh.” You cheeks tinged red again, almost flattered that he thought highly enough of you to want to work with you. “Who knows, maybe he can talk me into it.” You shrugged. “So you’re the bassist and he’s the drummer?” You asked, pointing to Sam and Danny for their respective roles. They nodded, confirming your words. “That’s cool that you all get along so well.”

“It’s tough by times.” Josh admitted, not willing to pretend it was always sunshine and rainbows. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, one. She’s only a year older than I am.”

“So you get it.” Sam chuckled.

“I do. She’s my best friend, but we do hate each other. Just part of the sibling relationship, I think.”

“Exactly.” He nodded. With that, a drink was sat in front of you and Jake took a seat in the chair at the end of the table. He gave you a small smile as you thanked him, but moved on quickly. “Water for you? That’s new.”

“Driving tonight.” Was all Jake replied, uncaring about having to stay sober. Getting you home safe was his only priority.

The group descended into small talk, starting first by trying to get to know you, then slowly moving on to joking and laughter. It was nice feeling like you fit in straight away, and during the entire night, you never felt out of place. Jakes brothers were arguably easier to get along with than him, and you were happy you hadn’t shied away from the invitation. For once, company seemed to make your night all the more memorable rather than put a damper on it. You found the boys fun to be around, and you could not remember the last time you laughed as much. Somewhere between drink three and four, Jakes hand slipped to your knee underneath the table. You barely paid any mind to it, and if anything, it was welcomed. You could never seem to convince yourself to disregard his touch, and often times found yourself searching for it.

The group joined together and purchased some shots for the table, which only began a gruelling game of quarters. The tension was high and the competition was fierce. Josh and Danny started, then you and Sam went head to head. Even though Jake wasn’t drinking, he stepped in for a few rounds, which eventually landed Josh in the chair at the end of the table and Jake taking post in the booth next to you. The innocent hand on your knee steadily grew more comfortable, which then provoked him to move his fingers further up your thigh. His touch was searing, and quickly turned into the only thing you could focus on. You were stuck on the inside of the booth, knowing that you would not be able to step away to calm yourself down unless he allowed it.

In essence, you were trapped, but it was not striking a fear within you; instead, there was an excitement to see how far he would take things before he backed away.

When Sam and Danny found themselves in an argument with Josh over something so small and trivial that you had missed it entirely, you felt Jake’s hand sneak even further up your leg. He settled his hand under the hem of your dress as his fingers were nearly brushing against the fabric of your underwear. Your breath caught in your throat, but you could not deny your desire for him to keep going despite the very real possibility of being caught. It was always the same with him; no risk was too high, because the reward would outweigh the risk any day.

“Jake,” you whispered, glancing over at him through the corner of your eye.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asked, his expression nearly fooling you into believeing he was doing nothing at all.

“Behave.” You warned, but you were hoping he wouldn’t listen. He never did, and you weren’t truly expecting him to, anyway.

“What ever do you mean?” He smirked, turning his head down towards you ever so slightly. With a little help from your own neediness shining in your eyes, he managed to push your legs apart just enough to run his finger over your clothed cunt. You let your eyes flutter closed, trying your best to keep a straight face while he continued on his torment. He took in a long breath, nearly feral at the feeling of the arousal pooling between your legs. Your departure was long overdue, and he had been waiting to get you out of the dress as soon as he showed up at your door.

“You guys want to play a round of pool?” Sam asked, his attention suddenly on the two of you. You opened your eyes, trying extra hard to make sure your expression wasn’t giving away the incriminating act Jake was doing under the table and out of sight.

“What do you think?” Jake asked you, clearly trying his best to push you to the limit. As he asked, his touch grew stronger and more pronounced, focused intently on the thin lace that was covering your clit.

“Sure, why not?” You breathed, hoping that a quick answer would divert the attention away from your flustered expression. “I suck though, I’ll warn you now.” You gave a nervous laugh through clenched teeth, trying your best to ignore Jake’s antics.

“You okay? You seem a little… distant.” Jake pressed, hoping you might crack under the pressure.

“Yeah, think I just drank too much too fast.” You brushed him off, now determined to prove him wrong. “Might take a little break for a while.”

“Wouldn’t want you getting sick.” He sympathized, although clearly fake and only offering the statement to keep you in the position for as long as possible.

“Of course not, I’ll be alright.” You said, holding his gaze. There was a fire in his eyes, dangerous and mischievous, and yours were pleading with him to surrender. You were caught in a stalemate, neither of you willing to back down, yet neither of you able to win.

“Shall we play?” Josh asked, also seemingly invested in yours and Jake’s staring contest.

“Sure, just give us a minute. We’ll meet you over there.” He assured them, not looking away from you as he spoke.

“Okay.” They agreed, sliding out of the booth and making their way towards the pool table. Once they were out of earshot, you opened your mouth to speak.

“You trying to get us in trouble, Jacob?” You scolded, noticing that he still failed to withdraw his hand.

“No idea what your talking about.” The smirk on his lips was infuriating, but what even worse was how badly you wanted to lean over and kiss him. The devil made his presence known in the inviting warmth of his brown eyes, falsely claiming peace and serenity despite the invitation being nothing but filthy underneath the surface. “What’s wrong, angel?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” you scolded, but could only care about his finger that had dipped underneath the fabric he had been teasing you through.

“Jake,” you hissed, but it was not with discontent.

“If you give me a kiss, I promise I’ll behave for the rest of the night.” He informed you, watching your lust clouded eyes with a type of longing you could not begin to comprehend.

“A kiss? That’s it?” You questioned, squirming underneath his stare.

“Yeah, haven’t gotten once since we got here.”

“Because your brothers think we’re friends!” You argued.

“Think that jig was up a long time ago.” He laughed, finding his power over you near comedic.

“Christ, kiss me then.” You rushed out, nervously watching to make sure nobody had picked up on your obscene display. He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet exchange. It was nowhere near the same intensity of what he was doing beneath the table. As he pulled away, so did his hand. His promise was kept, and you finally felt like you could take a full breath of air. “You are needy today.”

“Get over it.” He gave your thigh a squeeze, humour laced in his tone. “Let’s go kick their ass in a game of pool.” You nearly had whiplash at the sudden change in direction, but you couldn’t seem to find it within yourself to be upset with him. He extended his hand out for you to grab, helping you to your feet as you straightened out your dress.

“I told you I suck at pool.” You warned, praying that he didn’t get his hopes up.

“Even if we lose, I still consider it a win if I have you as my partner.” You thought your face was going to ignite in flames from the intensity of the blush on your cheeks. He led you towards the rest of the group, keeping a steady hand on your back so you didn’t stray too far from his side. When you rejoined the rest of the crowd, you realized they barely noticed the length of your absence, too busy hitting balls aimlessly across the green velvet of the pool table. As you watched Sam line up a shot, you realized that you might actually have a chance at winning. He seemed worse at the game than you, if it were possible.

“Good thing they don’t pay you to play, Sam, cause you’d go broke.” Jake said, watching a striped ball bounce of the side and crash into the 8 ball, sending it straight into the corner pocket. You giggled at the sight, watching Sam shoot his brother a glare as he straightened up.

“I’d like to see you do better, then.” He held his arm out, prompting Jake to grab the cue. He obliged, taking a long look over the table before settling on a solid ball. He lined up his shot, and with one swift moment of his arm, the white ball knocked the blue one into a side pocket. With a cocky smirk, he handed the cue back to Sam, rejoining you without saying a word. “Show-off.” He muttered, fishing the balls from the pockets and racking them in the middle of the table.

“Just admit you suck.” Jake laughed, pulling you into his side even further without even realizing it.

“You just want to impress her,” Sam snipped. “Let’s play, then we’ll see who sucks.” Jake opted not to respond, but he went to the rack on the wall and grabbed a cue for himself. He motioned for you to pick one for yourself, which you did with great hesitation. If Jake thought Sam was bad, he certainly wouldn’t be pleased with your performance.

“You’re up first, sweetheart.” He said, gently nudging you towards the table. You let out a long exhale, taking a step towards the table and bending over to line up the cue with the ball. From behind you, you heard Jake take in a sharp breath, unsure of what his issue was. As you broke the rack of balls and straightened up, you turned to look at him. The far away look in his eye was familiar, and your eyes widened at the realization of why he reacted so strongly to the innocent moment.

He had worked himself up teasing you at the booth, and was almost brought to his knees from the sight of you bent over the table.

‘So much for the boys thinking we’re friends.’ You thought, but you could not seem to be upset at him. The knowledge that you drove him crazy was nothing short of an ego boost, and you understood that you had a chance to get revenge for his merciless actions just moments earlier. You took a few steps towards him, turning to watch Sam take his shot. As you did, you made sure you were close enough for your ass to brush against him gently. His hand shot to your hip, holding you firmly in hopes that you wouldn’t move any further. You bit back the smile begging to break on to your lips, knowing that it would not take much to get him in the same state he had you in before starting the game.

“Easy, angel.” He whispered, his voice low but the warning clear. “Wouldn’t want to get us in trouble, would you?”

“No, sir.” You replied, just quiet enough for him to hear. But, trouble was the only thing you wanted to get into, and you weren’t sure how much longer you were willing to wait. He gave your hip a gentle squeeze, happy you were in clear understanding. With that, he stepped towards the table and started his turn. Josh was sat on the table opposite of your own, watching carefully in hopes of calling someone on an infraction of the rules. When he returned to you, he seemed a little more relaxed and forgiving of your actions.

“Another drink?” He asked, noticing that yours was nearing the end.

“Sure,” you nodded, looking up at him with a smile. “Thank you.” He nodded, leaning down and pressing a small kiss to your lips. You knew it was to satiate his own need for you, and the small contact would give him enough satisfaction to make it through the rest of the night. You watched as he walked towards the bar, a small smile stuck on your face as your head swam with intoxication.

“Not a girlfriend, eh?” Josh said, raising an eyebrow. Your head snapped towards him, almost embarrassed at his confrontation.

“Not a girlfriend.” You confirmed, firm on your stance.

“Can you be?” Sam asked, laughing at your response. “We like you.” Your heated with a blush (or the alcohol, you couldn’t really tell), happy that they seemed to take to your company well. You would be lying if you said you weren’t afraid of rejection.

“You can like me without me being a girlfriend, you know.” You said, watching as Danny finished up his turn.

“Obviously,” Sam rolled his eyes “but I think we can all agree we would like for you to be one. Don’t want him to fuck it up.”

“He can fuck it up just the same with a label.” Your counter arguments barely seemed to phase the three.

“I never thought he’d find someone nice. Everyone else was… well, horrible.” Sam chuckled, turning his attention to you fully. “He seems to like you a lot. He talks about you all the time.”

“He does?” You questioned, shocked at the statement. He nodded in response, looking to make sure Jake wasn’t already on his way back to the table. “Didn’t think we were that serious.” You said, making a note to discuss it with him when you were alone.

“I don’t think he does, either.” Josh laughed. “We just think it’s a shame you’re not. He has a pretty bad track record, and he kind of swore off the whole dating thing. He was insufferable for a little while, and then he met you. Seemed like it cleared his head a little bit. It’s nice.”

“Oh,” you said, feeling dread settle in your stomach. The cold feet you got from his simple statement was astounding, and you felt like running out the door and never looking back. You were not ready for feelings, and he promised to abide by the rule. If he was acting differently when you weren’t around, you weren’t sure you would be able to keep up at the same intensity without setting some boundaries.

“He’s on the same page as you, friend who is a girl.” Josh assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to worry. “I think we all just like you, and we hope that you stick around for a while, at least.”

“Okay,” you calmed slightly, happy that Josh recalled your statement from the first time you met. “Because friends is all I do, Joshua.”

“Right,” he agreed, but it did not seem like he believed you. “You’re the friend that so happens to be a girl, and he’s a boy that is indeed just a friend.”

“Perfect, you got it.” You laughed, nodding in agreement. Just as you settled back into silence, Jake made his return from the bar with your drink in hand. Somehow, when he was back in sight, the fear disappeared and was replaced with a sense of calm. His eyes caught yours, and that little smile on his lips told you that everything would be alright and you need not worry about a thing. When he was a few feet away from you, the gravitational pull that constantly surrounded him seemed to pull you in, muting the rest of the world and allocating your energy solely on him.

“My turn?” He asked, handing you the whiskey glass.

“No, it’s mine. Too busy talking.” You admitted, your eyes never leaving the entrancing features of his face.

“Or were you just waiting for me?” He teased, his eyes watching you with the same intensity. “Am I your good luck charm, angel?”

“You wish.” You brushed him off, but your smile told him his comment was welcomed.

“And?” He raised an eyebrow, appalled that you ever thought differently and wondering what your issue with it was. He loved being needed by you, and that had never been a secret. You smiled, giving him a slight smack on the arm before turning towards the table. You looked over your options, but not in hopes of winning the game. Instead, you pondered the best spot to lean over the table to drive him just as crazy as the last. You were like two sex-crazed demons, doing whatever you could to instigate the inevitable and making each other suffer in the process. Greed had become you long before the night of drinking ensued, but your infatuation with each other seemed to hit an all time high, for not even a public setting could keep your hands away from each other.

You walked to the other side of the table, making sure you picked a ball that was in front of him. You leaned down, low to the velvet and lined your stick with the cue ball. Your dress left little to the imagination as is, but with the help of gravity, anything left to wonder was quickly answered. Jake had a tight fist around his cue, knuckles white as his eyes fixated on the fabric ever so slightly pulling away from your skin. You drew your arm back, putting a little more force than needed into your strike, making sure that you looked up at him to see his reaction as the top of your dress struggled to remain secured to your chest. He caught your eye, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to remember where you were and who you were with. When you returned to your upright position, you gave him a subtle wink so he knew your intent was personal.

Sam moved to take his turn, completely unaware of the silent battle between you and his brother. You brought your drink to your lips, so invested in your own game that you let a dribble of whiskey fall from the cup and trail down your chin. You swallowed down the burning liquid, knowing that his stare hadn’t once broken from the obscene display you were putting yourself in. The cold droplets fell from your chin down your neck, eventually reaching the valley between your breasts. Slowly, it melted into your skin and disappeared into the fabric resting on your sternum. When you withdrew the drink from your lips, you thought you might have pushed him too far. As he watched, it almost seemed like his brain was short circuiting as he tried to keep up with the vile thoughts he was having about you. The interaction was so small that nobody noticed it other than him, but he was so invested in you that not a single motion would ever be missed.

Your skin was ablaze with desire from the thought of his hands alone, and neither of you were interested in the game of pool anymore. Reluctantly, Jake took his turn, glancing at you intermittently between his shots. By the time Danny took his, there was only the eight ball left.

“Can you help me?” You asked Jake, giving him a small, innocent smile.

“Nuh-uh,” Sam shook his head, shutting it down. “That’s cheating.”

“How so?” Jake asked, uncaring for any rules and itching to get his hands on you.

“We can’t do that!”

“Actually, you can.” You corrected, walking over to meet Jake by the cue ball. “You just don’t want to. Or, you didn’t think to ask first.” Sam gave you a glare, clearly not liking the two against one outlook.

“Grand chancellor will allow it.” Josh interjected, finding Sam’s discontent hilarious. Even more than that, he was hoping Sam would actually ask for Danny’s help if you missed.

“Who made you the grand chancellor?” Sam argued, clearly fighting a losing battle.

“I did,” Josh said, giving him a smile. While Sam argued his point with Josh, you and Jake had taken it upon yourselves to lean down over the table to line up your shot.

“You’re being a brat, sweetheart.” Jake whispered in your ear as he settled himself behind you. “That’s not very nice. Thought I told you to be good for me tonight?” His hand came up to your arm, fixating them in the correct position as his other one held your hip.

“I think you’re just horny.” You shot him down, completely ignoring his accusation. “I’m just trying to play pool.”

“No, you’re just trying to be a cocktease.” He corrected, his tone quiet but his delivery harsh. “You want me to take you into the bathroom and fuck you?” You could not deny the dull ache between your legs that stemmed from his question. “Is that what you want, sweet girl?” He hummed, his mouth settled just over your ear. A shiver ran down your spine, completely unfocused on the shot he was supposedly helping you take. “Answer me.” He hissed, guiding your arm back to fake the shot, getting you used to the motion.

“No, sir.” You lied through your teeth, knowing that it was exactly what you wanted. You did not think you could survive the drive home without a taste of what he was offering. As you spoke, you made sure to push your hips back into him only slightly; it was not enough for anyone else to pick up on, but the erection growing against your ass told you he’d noticed it as clear as day.

“What do you do to me?” He muttered, flickering his eyes between the white and black ball. “This is how it’s going to work, okay?” He said, taking a deep breath. “After we win this game, you’re going to go to the bathroom. Stay there for a while, I’ll pretend you aren’t feeling well. Then, I’ll come and check on you, and I’ll fuck you so good that you won’t even remember where we are.” A light gasp left your lips as your cunt clenched around nothing. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.” You muttered.

“Good, now hit the fucking ball and get this over with.” Instead of responding, you drew your arm back and hit the cue ball with just enough force to send the eight ball into the corner pocket. As you did, he made quick work at adjusting himself before anyone else noticed. Sam was so busy fighting with Josh that he didn’t even notice your stellar victory.

You straightened up with a smile on your face, knowing that Jake was the reason behind your success, yet still feeling proud that your hands made the winning play. Danny, who couldn’t have cared less about competition, applauded you and offered a high five. You responded with the same energy, jittering with excitement. When Sam turned to face the table, his expression was filled with disappointment at losing. You did not have the desire to console him over the loss, instead muttering a quick word about a good game before excusing yourself to the bathroom. You bustled to the other side of the bar in the direction of the bathroom, estatic when you found it vacant and awaiting your arrival.

You closed the door and clicked the lock, taking a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You straightened your hair and wiped away any specs of mascara that had fallen. Your foot was tapping against the ground as you waited for the knock, feeling like the seconds were more similar to eternities. Eventually, there was a soft knock on the door. With a breath of courage, you unlocked the door and opened it. You barely had a spare second to greet Jake, because he was already pushing his way inside and slamming the door behind him. He was in such a rush that one hand was already reaching for you as he fumbled with the lock.

You did not have the chance to say a word before his lips were on yours, desperate and angry at your relentless efforts to get under his skin. His hands shot to your hips, pulling you into him as the kiss dissolved into a messy and sloppy display of emotion. You let out a moan into his mouth, already descending into euphoria from the feeling of his body so close to yours. His fingers snaked under the skirt of your dress, forgoing any formalities as he bunched it up over your hips. Once your lower half was uncovered, he gave a hard tug on the elastic of your underwear by your hip, destroying yet another pair in wake of desire. In truth, you did not care; the only thing you cared about was him being inside of you, and you feared you would go insane if you had to wait a minute longer.

He gripped at your hips again, picking you up and roughly settling you on the counter while never breaking the kiss. You locked your legs around him, drawing him closer while hoping he never had to leave. If you could stay tangled amidst the web of his sinful touch forever, you would never have to search for anything more. “Did you think you were being smart pulling a stunt like that?” He asked, finally parting from you in a mess of heavy breathing. “Did you think being a tease would get you want you wanted?” He pressed even further, stopping his tornado of inquiry to bring his hand to his mouth and spit onto his fingers. “That you would get away with it without any punishment?” He lowered his hand to your cunt, the feral energy finally bubbling to the surface and ravishing his expression.

“I’m sorry, sir.” You pleaded, painfully aware of his touch that was so close yet just out of reach. “Didn’t mean to upset you.” You rushed out, looking down at his fingers just inches away from your heat.

“No?” He asked, his jaw hard set and his eyes dangerous. “Then what did you want, angel?” He was withholding any reward until he got a suitable answer from you. “Tell me exactly what you wanted, and I might be nice enough to give it to you.”

“I wanted you, sir.” You said, looking up to meet his eyes. “I wanted you to touch me. I need you to touch me. I can’t wait any longer.” You whined. You could not find it within yourself to be embarrassed about your own desperation, because your need for him far outweighed your own ego.

“Yeah? You want me to touch you, sweet girl?” He questioned, moving his hand just a little closer to you. “You just wanted me to take care of you? Make you cum all over my fingers right here in the bar?” Your face flushed at his vulgarity, but it only turned you on further. You could listen to him say nothing but filth all day and you would hang on to every word.

“God, yes.” You nodded, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. “Please, Jake. I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“So fucking needy.” He growled, but his hand connected with your aching core as he spoke. You gasped at the sudden change, not expecting him to give in so easily. He spread your arousal to your clit, slipping his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves as he dropped his middle and index finger to your entrance. You bit back a moan as he began pumping his fingers into you, moving his thumb in time with his fingers. “I love it.” He confessed, nearly breaking down from your sounds of pleasure. “You know I’ll always give you what you want, baby. Just have to say the words.”

“Feels so good, Jake.” You whimpered, closing your eyes in bliss as he remained on a steady pace.

“As much as I’d like to stay here and fuck you all night, we have to make it quick. Don’t want people wondering where we are, do we?”

“No sir,” you agreed, using his body as support to keep you upright. You had an iron grip on his bicep, your skin electrified when his nose brushed against yours. You were only concerned with the pleasure steadily rising in your belly and the boy who was standing before you. When he was with you, with his skin on yours, nothing else in the world mattered, and nothing to come in the future would ever matter half as much. He was everything, and you were slowly coming to terms with the notion. Jake was the only man that held any importance in the entirety of the world, and the only one you ever wanted to touch you like such. He was an addiction, a disease that ravaged your whole body and left nothing behind. He was more evil than you could begin to comprehend, but you felt blessed to have him around.

The devil was the master at the game, convincing you that his company was a virtue when in reality, it was only the beginning of an eternity of suffering.

“This is what you needed, angel?” He crooned, watching his own work unfold in real time. His eyes were locked on his hand, his breathing laboured and his mind lost within the fantasy of fucking you again. “This is what you wanted so bad?”

“Yes, sir.” You groaned, feeling your heart thud against your chest. Your entire body was no longer under your command, now completely subject to whatever he felt inclined to do to you. You did not care, and you didn’t think you ever would. Even if he decided to bestow suffering, it would still be better than any kindness from another.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?” You nodded against him, your legs trembling with the threat of your climax. “Don’t be shy, baby. Let the whole bar know how good I make you feel. I want to hear all of those pretty noises.” You were trembling under his touch, and his words struck the nail into the coffin. Without ever loosening your grip, you descended into an orgasm stronger than any you had ever felt before. You tried to cry out his name, to thank him for the grace he had given you, but you could not speak anything coherent. Even in the mess of jumbled thoughts where his name was most prominent, you could not seem to find the strength to speak it. As you rode out the high, he used his free hand to undo his belt buckle while continuing to pump his fingers into you. Before you had time to calm down from the excitement, he had freed himself from his jeans.

He withdrew his fingers, but you didn’t have time to grieve the loss of contact before he was pushing himself into you. Once he bottomed out inside of you, he brought you closer to the edge of the counter, allowing for easier access. “Fuck.” You cursed, letting your head fall back as you focused on the feeling of him. Sometimes, when you thought about it for too long, you convinced yourself that he was perfectly crafted and put on earth just to please you. The way your bodies moved in sync, moulding together in perfect harmony and pleasing each other just how you needed without even having to try. It was so hard to deny that it made your head spin, and the intensity in which you felt it to be true was nearly overwhelming.

“Tell me how good it feels, angel.” He purred, burying his head in your neck as he sucked at the sensitive skin.

“So fucking good, baby.” You sighed, tangling your hands in the hair at the base of his neck. You tightened your legs around him, hoping to bring him even closer than he already was. “You fill me up so good.”

“Such a dirty little whore.” He groaned, losing himself to the pleasure. You were both pent up, ready for a release before you ever made it to the bathroom. “Do you like being a whore for me, baby?”

“I love it,” you confessed, feeling the knot tightening in your belly, ready to let go at one slight movement. You were holding back, wanting to experience the height of the pleasure at the same time as him. You did not care that the entire bar likely knew what the two of you were doing, and you didn’t care about the awkward stares that would ensue when you emerged to join the crowd. You only cared about the boy you were wrapped around, and the fact that you got to spend the rest of the night with him after you went home. “I’m gonna cum, Jake.” You warned, a sharp gasp sounding as he pulled you towards him as he thrusted into you. The tip of his cock slammed into your cervix, sending a jolt of pain through you that was satiated by intense pleasure afterwards.

“Yeah? You want to cum with me?” He hummed, straightening up to catch sight of your face as you descended into your second orgasm. You nodded, your fingernails clawing at the fabric of his shirt to hold you in place as if you were scared of floating away. “Let go, angel. Cum for me.” You bit down on your lip, suffocating the moan that was trying to break free as he continued on his relentless pace.

“Oh, god.” You muttered, your eyes squeezed shut in bliss as your limbs began to tremble. He leaned down, capturing you in a kiss in hopes to silence your cries. He was only willing to share so much of you before the greed began to take over. He wanted you all to himself, and he wasn’t shy of that fact. Your moans fell directly into his mouth, feeding into his already wicked ego. The fire that burned in his heart was directly acreddited to you and your pleasure, and he survived solely of the way his name rolled so beautifully off of your tongue. As much as you were addicted to him, he knew that he was just as much, if not more of a victim to you.

The orgasm washed over you at the same time as his, both of you reaching your peak in a mess of curses. You sung his name like a hymn, and he uttered yours like a repentance. Neither of you could withstand the weight of the sin, but you were happy to die in each others arms. As you came down, he slowed his pace, careful not to make a mess of both of you. You let out a collective sigh of relief, the ghost of your orgasms still tingling over your skin as he pulled away. You couldn’t help but let out a whine of discontent as he pulled out, already missing the feeling of him inside you. He chuckled at your expression as he watched your face.

“Don’t be greedy, sweetheart.” He said, heaving a long sigh. “You’ve got a long night ahead of you, yet. Don’t think you’re going to get away with all of that teasing.” Your cheeks burned red at the thought, knowing that once he got you out the door, you wouldn’t be able to escape the repercussions of your actions. Even so, you knew that the punishment would be pleasurable, and you were already itching to take him home. He helped you off the counter, but stopped you as you made a move to clean yourself off. You looked up at him, confused at his intent. Before speaking, he grabbed the fabric of your dress and pulled it back down over your hips.

“What are you doing?” You breathed, looking up at him.

“That’s my way of making sure you say a quick goodbye.” He smirked.

“I don’t think so,” you shook your head, making a move to get past him again. He held you a little tighter, giving a disapproving tsk.

“Get out there,” he ordered, clearly showcasing his seriousness. “Finish your drink and say goodbye without making a mess, and then I’ll take you home and finish what you started.” You held his stare, both of you intense and unwilling to back down. “Clocks ticking, angel.” He reminded.

“Fine,” you huffed “but you better not pull any tricks once we’re out there.”

“Me? Never.” He grinned, a sparkle of adoration in his eye as he tried to gauge your comfortability with his request.

“Wipe the lipgloss off your face. Don’t think pink is your color.” You snipped, straightening your hair and your dress before stepping out of the bathroom without another word. He laughed at the fire in your eyes, doing as you asked and straightening himself up, too. When he left the bathroom, he watched you walk back towards his brothers with nothing short of love for you in his heart.

Although he’d never admit it, he was falling just as hard as you were. Greed had finally played its fatal part in the impending outcome of your situation, and sealed your fate of being infinitely intertwined with Jake Kiszka in a way you had been desperate to avoid.

TAGLIST:

@sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld

[gretavanbear]

All Eyes on Me

a/n: hey guys! just a little something for u since i love u guys and got inspired. i hope u enjoy <;3

NSFW 18+!

Jake Kiszka POV

the feeling of having all eyes on you was something you became obsessed with. of course, sharing the stage with your three brothers took a part of it away, but you always knew how to get the attention right back. it became one of the most rewarding feelings for you, having everyone needy and wanting.

and so you became a monster once those eyes tracked your every movement. you felt lucky they couldn’t hear you, because the animalistic groans that left your lips as you touched the strings and caressed your guitar would leave them a fucking mess.

tonight, the air felt different. you were in europe, feeling frisky. you knew your fans were expecting you to act different, with the moustache you’d been growing out the entire break off tour.

you had been playing extremely hard tonight, your mouth almost constantly open to let your ragged breaths out, the slight moans escaping your lips as your cock rubbed against your guitar ever so gently. you knew how much they liked it, seeing you all sweaty like this, wanting to taste the sweat that travelled down your chest.

you knew how much they wanted it.

your mind went blank once you raised the guitar to your face, sticking your tongue out and pressing it against the whammy bar.

yeah.. scream for me. you thought.

you heard the roar of the crowd as you bobbed your head against it, letting the sound of it travel around the arena, knowing how it’ll affect them.

you felt yourself throbbing in your satin pants, hoping the stain of your precum wouldn’t show through the material, luckily the show was almost over and your sweet relief was awaiting for you soon in your hotel room.

-

stepping out of the shower, you sighed whilst brushing your hair after drying yourself off. still rock hard from earlier. you had edged yourself a couple times under the water but you wanted to know what they thought of your little act.

you laid down in your comfortable hotel bed, fully naked in your favourite attire to please yourself this way.

you turned your phone on and pressed the ‘x’ app, logging on to your burner account. it had no followers, and a random username where no one could guess it’s you.

usually, you’d look through your bookmarks where you kept your favourite posts that people wrote about you, mostly about your body, the way you touch the guitar.

but tonight, you had given them something to talk about.

scrolling through your timeline, a video of you with the guitar against your face was all you could see.

user: “i wish i was that guitar”

yeah… i wish you were too..

you grabbed the base of your cock, caressing it with your fingertips softly grabbing it, teasing yourself a little.

user: “he definitely knows what he’s doing”

so, can you see through my little act? god i love the way you all want me..

your eyes fluttered shut as your hand movements increased, gripping yourself a little harder now.

user: “he knows how to use his tongue doesn’t he”

i do… fuck..

you threw your head back, moans escaping your lips as you began to fuck into your hand, thinking about the way you acted, the way they all loved it.

user: “does he know I’m a set of holes for him”

god damn.. why don’t you let me find out, hm?

you never had anyone specific in mind when reading these, just knowing someone was out there wanting you was enough. you could feel your orgasm approaching but you wanted more, you wanted to keep going. you slowed down your hand movements and stroked slowly, scrolling through more posts.

user: “he’s literally tongue punching his guitar on stage when is it my turn”

door’s unlocked babe..

fuck. they just get you, don’t they? they know you love it, they know you love basking in their attention. it fed you. the horribly horny monster that resides inside you, waiting to be teased.

user: “i need him to fuck me NOW”

have i got you all wet and dripping for me, honey? oh i’m sure i have..

you groaned as your orgasm took over, you were desperate now. fucking into your hand as your cum leaked all over your fingers, hitting your chest and a part of your neck. you really needed this. you breathed out a string of curses as the final drops of cum leaked over your hand.

“fuck..” you giggled to yourself as you looked at the mess you caused.

you knew you could always count on your fans to treat you right.

taglist :

@sarakay-gvf @positivegvfthings @brokenbells11 @krystalm98 @shutupdevvie @milkgemini @jordierama @​​maddie-van-fleet @writingcold @gretavanfleas @jakes-eyebrows @spark-my-nature @lek-gvf @rad-space-princess @joshkiszkatoothgap @hippievanfleet @objectsinspvce @gvfficrecs @ageoffleet @welllauragvf @weightofstar @groupiegirlie08 @fwzco @nicoleghost18 @andromeda-raine-gvf @sarrrahhh @ren-ni @zoe-tally06 @hellowgoodbye @aminaalilyy @spinthehemmo @hippievanfleet @streamofgvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @brokenbells11 @gvfpal @gvfmarge @jakeygvf21 @Timeless—classics @mackalah @myleftsock @bubblyjake @valvebone @lexii-nv-c @mp0801 @hellowgoodbye @girldonttryme @risingwiththeheatabove @fakeplastiqtree @beckahvanfleet @lunaaaat

[kissingkiszka]

The Sweet Symphony - Jake Kiszka x Reader Series

Summary: this series follows an unexpected love between the reader and Jake Kiszka, guitarist of Greta Van Fleet. Will the love blossom after you spontaneously decide to leave all you know behind and join Greta Van Fleet on tour?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6: coming soon!

[jakeytkiszka]

oh baby

jake kiszka x fem!reader

SMUT! - minors stay back !

[notes :

3.5k words!

breeding kink!]

you weren't ready for a baby. 

you had convinced yourself of that long ago, wanting to wait for a time when both you and jake were in a good place, career-wise, before you even thought about kids. 

you had a slight fear of becoming a mother. what if your child got hurt? what if you weren't a good mom? you had many, many doubts about it all, unsure of what to do, how to do it. you knew it was a learning process, but you didn't want to chance anything. 

you were so certain for a long while that you weren't ready yet, and then… you weren't. 

a friend of yours and jake's had just had a baby, and she was the cutest little thing you'd ever seen. when you held her, you felt a strange sense of yearning, though for what, you weren't sure. that feeling only intensified when you watched jake with her. the way his large, calloused hands gently held her, the way his face lit up as they cooed back and forth at each other. 

that empty feeling didn't go away, even after you and jake had gotten home for the evening. you were getting ready for bed, sitting cross-legged on your side as you watched jake go about his evening routine, humming to himself. "do you want to have a baby?" 

he paused his movements, freezing with his button up halfway off, before he turned to you slowly. if you weren't thrumming with nerves, you would've laughed at the wide eyed shock evident on his face. he recovered, staring down at the floor in thought as he pulled his shirt the rest of the way off. 

"do you?" he asked, making his way over to you. 

you chewed on your lip for a moment, staring at the bedsheets, before you peeked up at him, "we're probably not ready for one, right?" 

he studied you for a moment, running his tongue along his bottom lip in thought, "i dunno," he shrugged, "it's kind of scary to think about being a dad," he ended his sentence with a breathy laugh, and you smiled, ignoring the slight tinge of sadness. 

"yeah, i'm not sure i'd be a good mom, anyway," you tried to laugh, but he frowned at you. 

"you would," he said firmly, "you'd be a great fuckin' mom, babe." 

you gave him a small smile, shrugging it off as best you could, "i was just curious," you leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, before you burrowed into the blankets, settling on your side facing away from him, "goodnight jakey." 

"goodnight baby," he said softly, "i love you."

you murmured it back, squeezing your eyes shut tight as he flicked the bedside lamp off, hoping sleep would find you quickly. you tried repeating it to yourself, over and over, as you fought the emptiness threatening to overtake you.

you aren't ready for a baby. 

•••••

jake couldn't sleep. 

you had long since passed out, your steady breathing somewhat soothing him as he stared wide eyed at the ceiling. 

do you want to have a baby? 

your words were playing over in his head as he lay there, haunting him. the way your shoulders defeatedly sunk down as you talked yourself out of it. 

yes. 

he should've immediately answered the question, tossed you on the bed and put a baby in you right then and there. 

he knew not long after he met you that he wanted it all with you. marriage, children, a long happy life together growing old. you both decided to wait for all of that, focusing on your careers, hoping to get steady in your own lives before you thought of bringing another one into this world.

his heart physically ached as he watched you holding the baby today, the way you cheerfully talked to her, giggling and lighting up at her babbling. he knew you were scared to have one of your own, you had told him before. you were insecure in your abilities to be a good mother. maybe jake was too sure, but he had no doubts you'd be the best mom in the world. 

he let out a heavy sigh as he pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. yeah, he wanted a baby. he wanted you to want a baby. he wanted to wake you up right now, and demand you be honest with him about it. 

he would give you a baby in a heartbeat.

•••••

you were freaking the fuck out. 

your friend had a last minute emergency, and asked if you could watch her baby for the afternoon. you agreed, too guilty to say no, and before you knew it, sweet little penelope was asleep in your arms. 

you had gotten her to fall asleep forty five minutes ago, your heart completely melting as you looked at her tiny fingers wrapped around your thumb, holding you tightly. 

you almost jumped when you heard your front door opening, and you eased back to find jake staring confusedly at you. you motioned for him to be quiet, and he nodded his understanding, tiptoeing toward you. it was endearing, really, though you doubted his normal walking would wake her up.

he smiled down at the two of you, looking unbelievably soft as you slowly sat up. you were able to place her in the pop-up bed, only taking a step away before she started wailing loudly. 

the two of you shared a wide eyed look before jake turned, picking her up and cradling her to him. her sobs turned to fussy sounds, soon soothed by jake's low voice and gentle rocking. 

you were sure your heart was bound to explode at the sight before you, a d you hadn't even realized you were staring so hard at him until he frowned at you, "what?" he whispered. 

"nothing," you whispered back, watching as she was soon back to sleep. you anxiously wiped your hands on your sweatpants, turning to the kitchen, "i'm gonna start on dinner, is that– are you okay with her?" 

he nodded, his large hand rubbing soothing patterns on her back. you stared a moment longer before you mentally shook your head, exiting the living room. 

as you bustled around the kitchen, you heard jake's low voice coming from the living room. your heart seized as you realized he was singing something, and you had to stop to collect yourself. 

and in that moment, you realized… you were ready for a baby. 

•••••

"i'm sorry?" 

you stood in front of the bed, your hands nervously clenched in tight fists at your sides as you watched jake regard you cautiously. 

you inhaled deeply, "you heard me." 

his eyes dropped to the bed, before he looked back up at you, and you took note of how his eyes had darkened significantly, "say it again." 

you swallowed nervously, fidgeting lightly. 

you had stormed into your bedroom, finding jake sat up in the bed, reading a book. he looked sinful, doing the most mundane thing in the world. you didn't know if it was your hormones raging through you, but you had never been more certain. 

you blurted it out before you could stop yourself, "put a baby in me." 

he froze, his head snapping up to look at you, "i'm sorry?" 

"say it again, honey," he said, slamming the book shut before haphazardly tossing it to his nightstand. 

you let out a nervous breath, a smile finding its way onto your lips, "put a baby in me, jake." 

he raised his chin, "come here," his voice was barely above a whisper, but it had you crawling up to him before you could process it. he pulled you into his lap, his hands finding their place on your hips. you leaned in to kiss him, but he angled his lips away from yours. you frowned, your lips just barely brushing against his as you breathed in each other's air, "are you sure about this?" 

you nodded quickly, whining out a quiet affirmation, "yeah." 

he inhaled deeply through his nose, and he nestled his face into the hollow of your throat, "yeah?" he asked, a teasing tilt to his question. you nodded as he began leaving open mouth kisses along your skin, his hands slipping under the hem of your shirt, "my pretty girl wants to be a mommy, hm?" 

his words sent an aching throb throughout your lower half as you whimpered, nodding again, "yes," your voice was high, whiny, and you were almost embarrassed at how quickly you were worked up. you felt him grin against your skin, and you indignantly tugged at his hair, "what about you?" you asked, rolling your hips against his, "you wanna be a daddy?" 

he groaned quietly, his hands tightening his grip as he nodded, "yeah," he muttered, "fuck yes." 

you reached down, tearing your shirt off as quickly as you could, his hands grabbing your exposed skin. he lowered his mouth to your chest, taking your hardened nipple into his mouth. he groaned against you as you began grinding your hips down, whining loudly when his other hand pinched lightly at your nipple he wasn't sucking on. 

"fuck baby," he whispered against your skin, kissing his way across your chest. you let out a noise of agreement, your hand finding its way into his hair once more. you let out a gasp when he lightly bit down, your fingers tightening in his locks. 

he wrapped an arm tightly around your lower back, suddenly flipping the two of you over as he kissed his way down your quivering stomach. your chest was already heaving as he kissed the waistband of your panties, his fingers looping into the elastic and tugging them down. you ran a shaky hand through his hair, allowing him to push your thighs up and apart, settling until he was eye level with your glistening center. 

"please, jakey," you pleaded, your other hand sweetly caressing the side of his face. he gave you a soft smile, leaning into your hand, and you let out a loud gasp when you felt him sink a finger inside of you, no preamble, "oh fuck–" 

he left an open mouth kiss to your thigh before he licked a stripe along your slit, humming against you. he wrapped his lips around your clit, giving little kitten licks as he slipped another finger inside of you. 

he was vocal, groaning and humming against you as he curled his fingers up and fucked them into you. he lightly suckled on your clit, and you let out a choked noise, "gonna cum," you gasped out, "fuck, please don't stop, jakey– please." 

he picked up his speed, his eyes intense as he watched you unconsciously buck your hips up. he murmured against you, "cum for me, sweet girl. let me have it." 

you came with a jolt, a loud sob falling past your lips as your orgasm came crashing through you. you tightened your grip in his hair, your thighs fighting to shut around him. 

he worked you through it until you were whining, fighting to pull away from his mouth, and his hand. he pulled off of you with reluctance, crawling back over you, and meeting your lips in a heated kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him tightly to you, kissing him like you'd never get to again. 

you reached down between the two of you, cupping his prick through his underwear. he pressed his hips against your hand, and you whimpered, wanting him free of the restricting material, "fuck me," you pleaded, yanking his underwear down, "please, jakey?" 

he nodded, ridding himself smoothly and quickly of the last bit of clothing he had, and before you could process it, you felt the warm, hard head of him pressing against your weeping center. your legs fell open wider as he painted himself up and down your slit, "i'm gonna fuck you," he muttered, almost sounding as if he were talking to himself, "gonna put a fucking baby in you." 

he pushed himself inside of you, bottoming out in one quick movement, and you gasped, your walls tightening around him, "relax for me, angel," his hand was tightly fisted in the pillow beside your head, his other hand squeezing your hip, "gotta relax." you were too worked up, shaking your head as you grabbed his hips, wordlessly asking him to fuck you. he grabbed your chin, forcing your eyes to his, "hey, breathe. deep breaths, love," he inhaled deeply, and you followed suit, your whole body easing up as you focused on him. he nodded with a warm smile, "good girl. hi, sweetheart." 

"hi," you breathed out the word, totally enamored with the man above you. 

he kept his eyes on yours as he eased halfway out, fucking back into you with slight force. you let out a moan, your nails digging into his back as he began a steady pace, not too fast, with hard thrusts into you. 

you were making tiny 'uh' sounds with every thrust, your eyes nearly rolling back into your head, and you quickly felt yourself approaching another orgasm, "gonna cum, jake," you gasped out, "please– wanna cum." 

"go on," he grit out, "i've got you, baby, just cum for me." 

it only took three more pumps of his hips before you were drug under into the waves of your second orgasm. you were making noises you weren't even aware of, the feeling of his cock stretching you out as you squeezed around him almost too much. 

"fuck," he breathed the word, "good fucking girl, there we go." he was muttering filthy words of praise as you recovered. he pulled out, leaving you overwhelmingly empty, "turn over." 

you quickly scrambled over on shaky limbs. you were still sensitive and unexpecting when he plunged in to the hilt, "fuck!" you gasped out, instinctively fighting to crawl away. 

he grabbed your shoulders, pulling you back to him as he began fucking into you once more, "you’re not going anywhere now, baby," he said, wrapping his arm around your stomach, "gonna fill you up.” 

you nodded quickly, "please– fuck!" 

he splayed his palm out along your stomach, pressing against it, and he leaned over you to whisper in your ear, "feel me right here?" you nodded, reaching behind you to pull him impossibly closer, "you're gonna look so pretty with our baby in here." he traced a finger along your stomach, "all sweet and glowing. my pretty, pretty, little mama."

you cried out, babbling pleads and whines for him, "want it so bad, jakey, please–" 

"you'll get it, baby," he said, his words sounding both like a threat and a promise, "gonna fill you so fucking full of my cum." 

his chest was pressed against your back, and he wrapped his hand around your throat, pulling you up with him as he leaned back onto his knees, never missing a thrust. you whimpered out his name in a plea, and he gently shushed you, "just take it, yeah?" 

you nodded, letting out a loud cry, wanting nothing more than to be filled up. you wanted him to fuck his cum back into you, a guarantee that you'd get pregnant. you wanted it so badly you could cry. and before you knew it, you were. tears were streaming down your face as you laid your head back on his shoulder, "please, please cum in me," you sobbed out, tangling your hand in his hair behind you, pulling his mouth to the side of your throat. 

you felt him twitch inside of you, followed by a grunt as he bit down against the clammy skin of your throat, "can you cum again?" 

your mouth fell open, unsure as he began rubbing tight circles over your clit. you could, but you feared you might not survive it. "i– i dunno," you whimpered. 

"you will," he grit out, "one more," he licked over the skin he just had clamped between his teeth, "one more, and then i'm gonna cum in that pretty little cunt," his breath hitched as you began squeezing around his length, "gonna turn my girl into a mama." 

your orgasm hit you without warning, and you cried out his name, nearly falling forward if not for the hand he had wrapped possessively around your throat. 

you placed your hand on his hip, fighting for him to stop, the feeling too much, but he grabbed your hand, holding it tightly at your hip, "just take it, baby," he rasped, "just a bit longer, fuck," his thrusts were becoming sloppy, and you began fucking yourself on him, eager for his warm release inside of you. 

"cum in me, jakey," you whispered, reaching to hold onto him, "cum in me and fuck back in me, please daddy." 

he let out a choked moan at that, his hips stalling as his orgasm hit him. you let out a blissful sigh as you felt his cum coating your walls in its warmth. his hips shallowly thrusted into you as he rode out his high, soft noises leaving his open mouth. 

you gasped when you felt him slip out, "turn back around, love," he murmured, helping you fall onto your back. 

you looked in between the two of you, your eyes widening slightly when you noticed he was still hard, "fuck, jakey," you whispered, wiggling your hips to scoot closer to him. 

his brow furrowed lightly as he looked down in between your thighs, and you jumped when you felt his fingers scooping up what release had trickled out, "how does it feel, my cum leaking out of you?" he pushed his fingers inside, "knowing that you’ll be a sweet little mommy?”

you bucked your hips up, "so good, jakey," your voice was weak, "more," you begged, "please, i want more." 

he gave a fucked out grin, lining himself back up at your entrance, "gotta fuck it back in, yeah?" he gave you a wink that stole your breath away, "gonna fill that greedy cunt with all my cum." 

he was back inside you, already fucking fast and hard, and you nails were back to digging into the warm skin of his back, "want it so bad," you cried. it felt so filthy in the best way, his own release mixing with yours making it that much wetter. it felt hot and dirty, yet perfectly sweet, knowing the entire point of all of it.

"i know, baby, i want it too," he nuzzled his nose sweetly against your temple, "you're gonna be such a good mama, you know that?" you hesitantly shook your head, and he quickly nodded, stopping any bit of doubt you had, "yes, you will." 

you pulled him closer, "you're gonna be a good dad," you pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat, "that– fuck– that's what made me realize i want it so bad, jakey." 

he hummed, falling forward onto his forearms, caging you in with him, giving you no option but to stare into his eyes. you reached forward, brushing his hair away from his face, "you think so?" he asked, hitting you with a particularly hard thrust. 

you nodded quickly, "yes," you hissed out, your eyes fluttering shut when his hip bone pressed deliciously against your clit, "fuck, seeing you with that baby, i just– i want one of our own," you admitted, shakily running a hand through his hair. 

he gave you such a soft look, contrasting greatly with the way he was fucking you, "i want that, too. so fucking bad." you whimpered as he kissed you, murmuring against your lips, "touch your pretty clit, sweet thing. baby her for me." 

you quickly obeyed, your hand snaking between the two of you to rub circles as he filled you up, "gonna cum, jake–" 

"do it," he practically growled, his hips slamming into you harder, "i'm so fucking close, honey. cum for me, just one more. you can do it." 

you gasped, your entire body stretching so tightly as that coil snapped, and you were cumming the hardest you had that night. your orgasm triggered his own, and he came with a loud curse, letting out the prettiest noises as he fucked you both through it. 

he let some of his weight down onto you, basking in each other's warmth despite the sweat causing you to stick to each other. he stayed inside of you as you both caught your breath, and you had never felt more complete. 

he pulled out gently, hissing apologetically when you whimpered lightly, "i know baby," he soothed, "keep it in there for me, yeah?" 

you nodded weakly, fighting to keep his warmth from sliding out even a bit. he fell down beside you with a huff, letting out a quiet laugh. you lolled your head to the side, staring at him. he looked so fucking pretty, and it made your heart ache, "do you think it worked?" you asked timidly. 

he looked over at you, his eyes falling to your stomach, and he stared for a moment, "if it didn't, we can sure as hell try again." 

you let out a loud laugh, bordering on a cackle, "shut up, jake." 

he grinned wide, "i'm serious," he winked, "i meant it when i said i'm gonna put a baby in you. i'm making sure of that." 

•••••

[ageofbajabule]

Dawn of Love | Chapter 3

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 7.6k (They might continue to grow, or stay around the same…)

Warnings: Fluff, (BOTH ARE 18 & OF LEGAL CONSENTING AGE IN THIS CHAPTER HERE ON OUT) 18+ content including: Protected Sex, Losing Virginity (Josh is an absolute sweetheart😭), Oral Sex (F! Receiving), Anxiety

Series Masterpost

If you haven’t read Chapter 2, please do so! And if you want to join my taglist fill out this form!

Author’s Note: I know its been a while since the last update! And I apologize, I was just so busy with my Greta Bender. And I’m so sad that my Starcatcher run has come to an end, but I had so much fun with all my friends and I miss them so much and Greta of course. My writers block also took a toll on how long this took to put out. But rest assured, you will love this chapter!! I’m not sure when the next one will be out, but hopefully sooner than this one.

June 2014

Your 18th birthday was finally here. It was the end of June, when summer started to pick up with its heat waves in the day and cool nights. You were going to take a summer job this year, but your parents insisted that you take the summer off before starting college in the fall. You were grateful for them, of course. They have been more supportive ever since you graduated high school.

Josh and yourself had been spending almost every night together this summer already. Whether he would practicing with the guys, or simply relaxing at home. He was insisting on taking you away for the weekend for your birthday. That it was a ‘Nice getaway.’

Of course you couldn’t say no to such a pretty face. He was so excited to take you away, he wouldn’t tell you where the two of you were going. But to pack your bathing suit, and one nice dress for a night out for dinner. After finishing packing you brought your bag downstairs, waiting for Josh to arrive.

“Have fun this weekend sweetie!” Your mom came up to you, hugging you tightly.

“Please use protection…” She whispered only for you to hear.

“Mom…” You groaned.

“I just want you to be safe is all.” She giggled softly, rubbing your shoulder.

Then saved by the bell, Josh was knocking on the front door. To which your dad answered it, opening it swiftly.

“Josh!” He pulled him into a hug.

“Hey Mr. Y/L/N.” He chuckled softly, hugging him back, patting his back.

“You two have fun this weekend, but don’t do anything reckless.” He pointed his finger at the two of you.

“Don’t worry dad, we won’t get into any trouble.” You smiled, pulling him into a hug.

“Happy Birthday pumpkin! Have a fun weekend.” He smiled at you.

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to update you guys when we get there.”

Josh and you then walked out of the house, throwing your bag into the backseat of his car followed by getting into the passenger side in which he had opened for you.

Once you were settled in the car, he got into the driver’s side. He then turned the ignition on, and turned towards you smiling softly.

“So, where are we going?” You smiled at him softly.

“Well you know the lake house my parents own?” He chewed his lip nervously.

You nodded in response.

“I was able to get permission to just have it to ourselves this weekend.” He smiled softly.

“How exciting!” You smiled, kissing his lips softly. Josh kissed you back softly, caressing your cheek before pulling away.

“Although, I do have dinner reservations for tomorrow night for us.” He rubbed your arm softly, facing forward putting the car in gear.

The drive to the lake house wasn’t long, but it wasn’t short either. Josh kept going on about the courses that he had picked for the fall semester at Michigan University, although the two of you practically had the same degree. You weren’t going to have all of the same classes, so he was informing you of his schedule as you filled him in on yours.

He also finally let you take charge of the aux in the car, and said that it was ‘Birthday privileges’. You jokingly slapped his arm, playing not only your favorites but his as well. The weather was beautiful for the day, and the weekend was going to be nice as well for whatever Josh had planned.

After driving for some time, the two of you arrived at the lake house. Stepping out of his vehicle he grabbed both your bags, walking behind you to the entrance. He unlocked the door, pushing it open softly letting you walk in first.

He followed behind you, closing the door behind him. “So, upstairs to the right is where our room is. Strangely enough here we all have our own rooms.” He chuckled softly, making way upstairs.

You followed behind him, to help him settle in. When walking into his bedroom you smiled softly seeing all his old projects of film posters around the walls.

“I’m assuming you used to film a lot up here?” You giggle softly, running your hand across the one poster.

“Yeah, a bunch of our friends would come up for the weekend. And we would just shoot non-stop. It was fun, I don't really know why we stopped…” He shrugged.

You nodded, unpacking your bag and placing your clothes in the dresser. Grabbing your toiletries you placed in the bathroom across the hallway. Coming back to the room you see Josh, laying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

Lying down next to him, you nuzzle into the side of his body. “Whatcha thinking about?”

He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “Life…” He chuckled softly, rubbing your arm.

“Are you nervous about college?”

He turned to look down at you, nodding slowly. You smiled, stroking his cheek gently.

“It’s going to be fine, we have each other.” You kissed his lips softly. In return he kissed you back.

After a minute the two of you broke away from each other. “So, I was thinking. We grill some burgers and have a fire tonight, yeah?”

You nodded, smiling softly, “Sounds perfect.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent hiking the trail that surrounded the lake house. And after coming back the two of you had started prepping for dinner. You opted in making a side of salad, while Josh took charge of the grill.

He had also managed to get two bottles of wine for the weekend. Jake had a fake and would do favors for Josh. He opted to pick out a white wine, considering it was your favorite wine to drink. Your mother let you indulge once in a while with her.

After being satisfied with how the salad turned out that you made, you placed it in the center of the table. Josh returns back into the house, placing the plate of cooked burgers onto the table. You grabbed the buns and condiments from the kitchen bringing them back into the dining room.

“Looks good Joshy.” You smiled, kissing his cheek softly.

“Well, I'm no master chef. But I do grill a pretty mean burger…” He laughed softly. The sound that made you swoon over him even more. You loved his laugh, and the infectious smile that paired with it.

“Come on, let’s eat.” He pulled the chair out for you to sit down. In which you sat, as he pushed it back in for you, then proceeded to sit across from you.

You clapped your hands together, smiling softly. Grabbing the salad first to put some onto your plate, as Josh put a burger together for himself. The two of you then handed off, so you can make yourself a burger. Once your plates were situated, Josh stood up.

“Ah, the wine!” He chuckled, grabbing a bottle, opening it and finding two wine glasses in the cabinet. He proceeded to pour the wine into the glasses for the two of you, sitting back down he handed you a glass.

He then raised his glass to make a toast.

“Happy Birthday to my beautiful Sunshine…” He smiled as his cheeks turned a rosy shade. He tilted his glass to clink with yours.

“Thank you…” You blushed, then took a sip of your wine.

After that, the two of you began to eat your dinner. Talking about your plans for summer before starting college. What plans the guys had for gigs, and living arrangements for your dorms. Josh and you were both nervous about college, scared you weren’t going to like the courses, and terrified that you had chosen the right degree.

While eating and getting tipsy off of the wine, the two of you had finished eating. You opted in taking care of dishes, as long as Josh agreed to start the fire. Although you worried about him potentially burning the house to the ground. After cleaning and drying the dishes you returned them back to the cabinets, grabbing a light jacket and blanket. Carrying them in your arm, while walking out with the opened bottle of wine and glasses.

Josh finished up building the pit, and letting the fire start. The sun had finished settling, as you sat on the wooden log bench. Josh had s'mores set up to make for the two of you. He shuffled over to you, sitting beside you as the fire finally blazed to the setting Josh wanted it at.

He wrapped an arm around your waist, rubbing your side lovingly. “Are you having fun on your birthday weekend so far?” He started to draw circles on your back.

“I’m having a great time.” You smiled softly, your cheeks warming up from the wine.

“I know it’s not much, but I wanted to escape from reality for the weekend.” He moved his hand to caress your cheek.

“Josh, this is absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t want anything else… Being with you is just. That's all I want.” You sighed happily.

Josh then inches closer to your face, feeling his breath on your lips. You move closer to close the space by pressing your lips against his, moving in sync. He kept his hand placed on your cheek, as you placed yours on his neck, running your hand through the tips of his hair.

He swiped his tongue against your lips, guiding him as you deepened the kiss. Getting the minty taste off of his lips, he pulls you onto his lap. You blushed giggling against his lips. As you sat in his lap, lapping your tongue with his. You felt him harden beneath you, you gasped quietly from your core sitting on top. The only thing keeping you apart from one another is your clothes.

You were becoming wet as the minutes went by. The two of you then separated to catch your breath, panting slightly as you blush looking Josh into his eyes.

“Sunny… I want to. I really do, I just. I don’t want it to be like this…” He sighed softly.

You moved off of his lap, and sat beside him nodding slowly.

“No, not like that! I meant…” He put his head down.

“No, I understand Josh. We both had a bit too much to drink tonight.” You rubbed his cheek.

He smiled softly, pushing your hair back. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, so much…” You giggled softly.

The remainder of the night the two of you sat there telling childhood stories. Giggling by the fire all night, and making s’mores. After spending most of the evening out by the fire, it finally died out and the two of you cleaned up heading inside. You turned the lights out, making way to Josh’s room changing into your pajamas and brushing your teeth.

Josh was already in bed, fastly asleep snoring slightly. Leaving enough space for you to crawl in next to him. You got under the covers laying beside him, kissing his cheek softly before snuggling into him and falling asleep.

The next morning, you woke up and Josh was missing from his place next to you. You reached over to feel and all that was left was a cold space and a note.

Ran out to grab us coffee! I didn’t realize there was none here. I’ll be making the two of us breakfast before spending the day at the lake.

Love, Joshy

You smiled softly, getting up you changed into your bathing suit and put on a light sundress. Making way downstairs you hear the door click, sensing Josh had come back already.

“Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep alright?” He came up kissing your cheek. Handing you a coffee.

“Slept wonderfully. Did you?” You smiled, taking your coffee and sipping from it.

He nodded, humming softly. “I did. I’m gonna make a big breakfast. Because dinner tonight is going to be filling, no lunch today as we’ll be on the lake all day.”

You nodded smiling softly, “Sounds great. Do you want help?”

He smiled and nodded, grabbing the pans, “Do you want to help with the pancakes?”

“Of course!” You giggled softly, grabbing the pancake batter and eggs.

Josh turned the bluetooth speaker on, beginning to play his playlist he created for the two of you. It involved all of your favorites. The first song to start playing was Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel by Tavares.

The beginning notes Josh started dancing around the kitchen making you break out into a giggle. He shimmied past you grabbing the other things to make breakfast as you started working on mixing the pancake batter.

Heaven, must be missin' an angel

Missin' one angel, child

'Cause you're here with me right now

Your love is heavenly, baby

Heavenly to me, baby

Josh twirled you around, kissing your lips softly.

Your kiss, ah, filled with tenderness

I want all I can get, of your sexiness

Showers, your love comes in showers

And every hour on the hour

You let me feel your loving power

“Alright lover boy, we’re supposed to be making breakfast…” You giggled softly, pulling away from him, continuing to mix the batter. Then setting it to the side. He continued on his way of dancing and singing along.

You shook your head as you continued to giggle, pulling the butter out as well as the syrup. Josh chuckled softly, as he started frying the bacon up as well as the eggs.

“Scrambled?” He looked over his shoulder.

“Yes, please.” You smiled softly, as you started to fry the pancakes.

You added chocolate chips to some pancakes whereas the others you left plain. Once they were finished you put them into stacks on a separate plate as Josh finished cooking bacon and eggs. He turned the stove off, putting everything onto dishes, setting up the table for the two of you.

Following behind him you grabbed glasses of water for the two of you. You smiled sitting beside him, kissing his cheek softly. He smiled, loading both your plates up with eggs and bacon. You then put a couple pancakes on his plate, then put some on yours.

“Everything looks good.” You grabbed the syrup and put some over your pancakes.

“Well I did have some help…” He kissed your cheek, as he took the syrup then and applied it to his pancakes before cutting into them and eating.

You nodded giggling softly before digging into your food. The two of you just continued to eat your breakfast, not saying much to one another. Just enjoying the company of one another was good for the both of you. After your belly was full to your heart's content, Josh started to clean up after the two of you.

“I would’ve helped, Josh.” You sighed softly, trying to catch up with him on the dishes left behind.

“It’s okay Sunny.” He smiled brightly, finishing up cleaning.

“I’m gonna change into my swim wear and then I’ll be right back down.” He kissed your lips softly.

After breakfast the two of you walked down to the dock, setting down your towel to sunbathe. Josh had already ran and jumped into the lake from off the dock, he didn’t even give it a second thought. He tried to get you to join him now, but you had reassured him you would be joining him soon.

He had set up his bluetooth speaker to play music while the two of you were outside. You could hear him swimming around as the water splashed against the dock.

You had removed your sundress, revealing your emerald green bathing suit. Josh loved when you wore green tones and blue tones. So of course you opted in wearing a green tone suit that made all your features stand out to him. You sat upright, looking out at the lake smiling at Josh as he swam over to you.

“Mama…” He came up by the dock, looking at you.

“Yes?” You looked down at him giggling softly.

“Why don’t you come join me? Cool off…” He grinned mischievously. You shook your head giggling softly. You could tell he had a thought going in his head.

“You better not even think…” You started to scoot away from him. He chuckled softly, inching closer, lifting himself up onto the dock.

“What? The water’s great, not even cold.” He stood up, chasing after you. You started running from him

giggling. He was quick on his feet running right behind you.

“Joshua, no!” You giggled screaming, but he swept you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He started walking towards the end of the dock.

“Any last words?” You could tell he was smirking by the tone of his voice.

“Joshua Michael. Put me down.” You smacked his back.

“Okay…” He then threw you into the lake, swimming back up to the surface you shot a glare at Josh. As he stood there laughing softly at you, while you shuddered a bit from the shock in temperature change. The water wasn’t freezing, but it was cold enough to make you shiver. Eventually your body would adjust to it.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” You splashed water at him. In which he chuckled, jumping into the lake, swimming up to you. You splashed at him again, but with his strength he wraps his arms around your waist pulling you close to him. He kisses your lips softly, pushing your hair back.

You kiss him back, humming against his lips as you caress his cheek. You pull away slowly, looking into his honey brown eyes. “You’re still a jerk.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, “Yet you’re still with me.” He smirked softly, kissing your cheek.

The rest of the afternoon was spent floating around the lake, while having an occasional race with Josh as well. Where he ended up winning as he was stronger with his strokes when he swam. After gathering your things off the dock, the two of you headed back to the lake house.

“I’m sure you want to take a shower before we head out for dinner. So you can take the master bathroom to get ready, I’ll take the guest bathroom.” He smiled softly, placing your things on the small table in the mud room.

“Are you sure?” You looked over at him.

He nodded, walking up to you he kissed your lips softly. “Positive, Sunshine. Now go on, get ready. Do whatever you have to do, just be back down here for 6:30pm sharp. No later. Our reservations are for 7.”

You smiled softly, cheeks turning a shade of pink. You nodded and made your way upstairs to get into the shower and clean your body and hair the smell and feel of lake water.

After stepping out of the shower, you started to blow dry your hair. Then brushing it out leaving it lay naturally, before heading to the bedroom to start changing into your dress you brought along. Before slipping into your dress, you had put on your blace lace undergarments.

You weren’t expecting anything to take place tonight, but it offered you a sense of confidence. Josh and you had fooled around a little bit, but never crossed the line of sleeping with each other just yet. Something would always prevent it, whether it be Sam walking in on the two of you or your sister asking for help with a project.

It wasn’t easy, but you thought to yourself ‘Maybe it wasn’t the right time.’

Once putting on your undergarments, you slipped into your violet floral dress that rested at your knees. You then grabbed your sandals, slipping them onto your feet. There was some music playing from the living room’s vinyl player. You smiled to yourself knowing that Josh put it on, you put earrings on then a necklace Josh’s parents had given to you as a graduation gift.

You made way downstairs, to find Josh dressed in khaki pants, and a white button up shirt tucked into his pants. He heard your footsteps as he turned towards you smiling brightly.

“You look breathtaking.” He walked up to you, extending his hand out for you to take. You took a hold of his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. He kissed your hand softly.

“Thank you… You look handsome.” You blushed, smiling softly.

“Shall we get going?” He pulled you close to him, grabbing his car keys. You nodded, as he led the way out to his car. He opened the door for you, letting you get settled before making his way over to the driver side.

The two of you arrived at the restaurant 5 minutes prior to your reservation time slot. As Josh said he didn’t want to hit traffic, in which could you really blame him? He helped you get out of the car, walking up to the entrance of the restaurant he led you inside, following right behind you. He walked up to the hostess letting them know that the two of you were there for your reservations.

The restaurant he chose looked elegant, and pricey. You were worried that he might’ve chosen a place that would be out of your budget. The hostess led the two of you to your table, there were candles set up, for a nice candlelight dinner. Josh pulled your chair out, helping you sit then he sat across from you.

“Josh… This place is-“

“Expensive?” He chuckled softly, reaching across the table to hold your hand.

“Yeah…” You put your head down embarrassed.

“Hey… It’s okay. It’s not a big deal, I checked this place out before making a reservation. They had really good reviews, and I saved up from the gigs we’ve been playing recently.” He rubbed your hand softly.

“I’m sorry… I just don’t want you to be spending all your hard earned money on me. You worked for that…” You gave him a pouty lip.

“And I do what I want with it, and I want to treat you to a nice dinner. You’re my girl after all…” He kissed the top of your hand. You nodded blushing softly.

“Good evening, what can I get the two of you started on?” The waitress smiled at the two of you.

“Can I get water with lemon please?” You smiled softly.

“I’ll have the same.” Josh chimed in, the waitress nodded.

“I’ll be back with those and to take your order.” She smiled walking off, leaving it to be the two of you again.

“Order whatever you want, sunny. My treat.” He smiled, looking over the menu. You nodded and opened the menu seeing all the options, it was an elegant italian restaurant. The prices seemed outrageous to you, but you figured the food must be worth it.

You just opted in picking the safest route of ordering Tortellini with Vodka Sauce. Whereas Josh ordered Rigatoni pasta with the House Red Sauce. Dinner between the two of you was filled with laughter and bashful glances. Josh made you feel on top of the world at dinner, constantly telling you how beautiful you looked and how lucky he was.

The waitress then brought over a small dish with a piece of cake on it. With a note written out on the plate saying ‘Happy Birthday to my lovely, Sunny!’ You smiled looking over at Josh, mouthing a thank you as the waitress and other workers sang a happy birthday.

“Remind me to take you out to dinner for your birthday next year, and have that done to you.” You giggled softly, as you reached for a fork to take a bite of the cake.

“It wasn’t that bad!” He laughed softly, scooting closer to you. Leaning in for a bite of cake. You shook your head playfully.

“Are you worthy of a piece?” You raised an eyebrow as you held a forkful of cake.

“It’s my favorite and yours, so I think I am…” He smirked softly, you giggled playfully and placed the fork in front of his mouth in which he opened to take a bite.

“I do have a gift waiting back at the lakehouse…” Josh wrapped his arm around your waist as the two of you sat at the table in a food coma.

“Josh…” You whined, “I thought I said no more surprises or gifts…”

He placed a finger over your lips, “I will not take no for an answer. Besides, you'll like it.” He chuckled softly, the waitress returned with the bill as Josh immediately paid for it, not even allowing you to see it.

He rushed the two of you out of there before you could even get a glance at it. You rolled your eyes, as he helped you into the car.

Once the two of you arrived back at the lake house, he was walking with you in excitement, fiddling with the door to open it as quickly as he could.

You slipped your sandals off, leaving them at the door as Josh ran off to the kitchen. You made your way to the living room sitting on the couch. Josh came back with a small box, placing it in your hands to unwrap.

“It’s nothing crazy… But I saw it at the thrift store, and it stood out to me…” He smiled nervously.

You smiled unwrapping the tiny box, opening it slowly and it revealed a vintage sun shaped ring. You smiled at it then looked up at him. “Josh… it’s…” You smiled, slipping it onto your right ring finger. “This is beautiful.” You grabbed his face softly kissing him.

He kissed you back, placing his hand behind your neck softly. Pulling you closer to him, he pulled away slowly. “You like it?” He chuckled softly.

“Like it? I love it, Josh! This is so beautiful, I’m shocked someone let this beauty go…” You giggled lifting your hand up admiring it.

“You’re my sunshine… and I knew it had to be with you…” He caressed your cheek softly, taking in your features. You blushed resting your forehead against his. You kissed his lips again, placing your hand on his chest as he moved his hand to caress your cheek.

Inching closer to him this time, you shifted into his lap. Just like last night. He took his time with you, kissing your lips softly then moving his lips toward your jawline, trailing sweet kisses along it then kissing down your neck softly. A breathy whine left your lips, causing you to blush from slight embarrassment but Josh kept working on you.

You could feel the familiar heat travel to your center, feeling your panties soak from your arousal. You also felt Josh try to situate himself as he started to press against your core. He was feeling it with you, you moved your head to capture your lips with his again as he licked your bottom lip. In which you gracefully let him in, exploring one another for a bit feeling your body get hot from the intensity of the moment.

Josh pulled away, catching his breath for a moment.

“Josh… I’m ready…” You smile softly, running your hand through his hair.

“Are you sure?” He said barely above a whisper, but loud enough for you to catch it.

“I’m more than sure…” You nodded softly, caressing his cheek. Standing up from his lap, you put your hand out for him to follow you.

“Baby… We don’t have to, tonight…” He smiled nervously as you led the two of you to the bedroom.

“Josh, I want to. As long as you want this as well.” You smiled as you stepped into the bedroom.

“I just don’t want to hurt you…” He sighed softly, caressing your cheek. You giggled softly, kissing the palm of his hand.

“You’re not going to hurt me Joshua. It’s okay to be nervous, this is both our first time…”

“No… I just-“

“Josh I’m okay…” you trailed off, pulling him back in for another kiss, moving your hand slowly down his body until you reached your destination, palming him over his pants, your eyes widened in surprise at the size.

Josh could sense your hesitation pulling back to see you staring back at him. “That’s uh…that’s what I was nervous about.”

“We can go slow…” You took a breath, relaxing into him as you continued to palm him slowly. Feeling him throb under your touch. Sure you were nervous, but the first time is always going to be nerve wrecking.

“Let me take care of you…” He whispers against the shell of your ear. He kissed your neck softly, running his hands up and down your waist.

You nodded slowly, feeling your breath hitch, as Josh lifted your dress a bit, his fingers dancing along your thighs. “Just tell me if you want me to stop.” He looked into your eyes.

“I will…” You nodded slowly, going to undo his belt. He moved your hands away slowly, shaking his head softly.

“This is about you…” He chuckled softly, and began to bunch your dress up in his hands, just above your waist.

“May I?”

You nodded in response to his question, lifting your arms up he pulled your dress the rest of the way off. Leaving you in your matching set. You placed your hands on the sides of yourself. Josh then rid himself of his clothes leaving him only in his boxers. You could see him straining against the thin fabric.

He moved closer to you, stroking your cheek softly. He walked back with you until the back of your knees hit the mattress in which you then sat down onto the bed, crawling back until Josh was above you. He kissed your lips softly as he one hand was placed beside your head, and the other placed on your waist.

You moved your hands to cup his face as you deepened the kiss, your lips moving in sync. He hummed against your lips, before separating and kissing down your neck slowly. Working his way down your collarbone he kissed a top of your breasts that were still covered by your bra.

Your hands found their way into his hair, running through them slowly and softly. As he continued to kiss down your sternum to just before your navel. He shot a look up at you, before continuing on. You gave him a nod and smile of encouragement for him to continue.

With that reassurance, he used both his hands to slide your panties off leaving you bare to him. You blushed putting your hands over your face.

“Y/N…” He said in a quiet tone, reaching up for your hand to move from your face.

“You don’t need to hide. You’re beautiful.” He smiled softly, kissing your inner thighs making goosebumps rise.

He slowly worked his way closer, he used his two fingers circling then slowly over your swollen clit. Your breath caught in your throat as he warms you up. Josh licks a languid stripe over your clit, causing your body to arch. “Shit!” Your hands go to grip his hair softly.

“Relax… I got you.” He looked up at you with loving eyes, as he went back to licking with slow languid stripes. Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted into the feeling. He took his time paying close attention to your clit sucking softly as his tongue swirled. You gasped softly when he slipped a finger in pumping it slowly.

“Josh… feels s’good.” You moaned out quietly. He continued to work on you, keeping a hold of your thighs pulling you closer to him. His nose brushing over your bundle of nerves, he continued to lap his tongue over your entrance and clit as he added another finger. Your walls clenched around his fingers from the feeling.

You felt a knot like - feeling forming in your belly, your body heating up. Josh kept his motions going, licking you feverishly. “Oh god… I- Josh…” Your body arched again as you gripped onto his hair.

He moved his mouth for a moment, “Come on mama…” His honey-like voice encouraged you. He reattached his mouth to your clit, with another swipe of his tongue you were coming undone. You felt a burst of waves through your body, as he helped you come down.

“That’s my girl…” He pulled away slowly, licking his fingers clean. You were breathing heavily, lying there running a hand through your hair. You sit up a bit, going to reach for the hem of Josh’s boxers but he moves your hand away.

“Ah, I told you tonight is about you…” He caressed your cheek. You melted into his touch. “Next time…” He ran his thumb over your lip, in which you wrapped your lips around it softly. Earning a groan from him.

He pushed his boxers off, revealing his achingly beautiful and hard cock. You felt your cheeks warm up, he chuckled softly looking down at you. “I’ll go easy… I’m nervous…” He blushed, grabbing a condom from the pocket of his pants. He ripped the packaging open and slid the condom onto himself. Pumping himself a bit before lining himself up.

“Are you ready…?” He breathed nervously, as if he was asking himself but you knew he was asking you. You nodded slowly. “Ready as I’ll ever be…” You giggle softly, cupping his cheek with your hand rubbing his cheek softly reassuringly.

He nodded, hiking your legs up around his waist and you rested them around him, pulling him closer to you. The tip of his cock nudges against your entrance as you suck in a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut. He takes his time slipping in, going as slowly as he could, and you whine quietly, face scrunching up at the feeling.

Josh immediately looks down at you. “Is it too much…” His voice was soft and worried. As he stays stilled inside of you.

You shook your head, “Keep going…” You breathe out, as you feel him stretch you out. He nodded, pressing in further as he bottomed out, you let out a small yelp. He places a hand onto your waist. You look up at him nodding slowly to keep going.

He smiles softly, taking your hand in his kissing it softly. You smile softly using your other hand to try and unclasp your bra. He sees you struggling and helps you remove it. Once it was off he started to move at a slow pace, until you could adjust to him.

Josh went at a slow pace, dragging out slowly and thrusting back in. The discomfort was slowly dissipating, as he leaned down to rest his arms on either side of you, leaning down to nose as your cheek before dipping his head down to press a few kisses against your neck.

He nuzzled himself against you, letting one of his hands come down to rest against your hip, gently rubbing soothing circles against your skin. “You okay…” He said quietly against your cheek. You nodded slowly.

“Can you move a little faster?” You let out a small whimper as you started to feel the pleasure from his hips circling into you. He nodded, kissing your cheek softly, “Anything for my sweet girl…” He started to pick the pace up. You let out a moan, as your back arched lifting off the bed. Josh kissed down your chest.

“You’re doing so good for me…” He hummed against your skin, his kisses leaving you breathless as he kept thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace now. You felt his pubic hair brushing against your clit, causing you to let out another airy moan.

“Josh… you feel so g-good…” You couldn’t help but let out whimpers of pleasure. Hearing him groan against your ear as you tugged on his hair gently. Pulling him closer to you, even though your bodies were already pressed together. Sweat forming as the two of you stick together.

This moment is all you ever wanted, with the person you loved most. No other person you could ever imagine to be with.

Josh lifts himself a bit, as he pushes your legs back to rest on his chest. Allowing himself to hit your spot deeper earning a primal moan rip from your chest.

“You like that?” He moans out as he continues to thrust into you.

You nod your head as another whimper slips from you. “I’m so close…” You felt the familiar feeling from earlier creeping up.

“Me too…” He places his hand above your navel, pressing lightly. As his hips start to falter, he snaps faster into you. You reach for his hand intertwining them, as your second orgasm comes over you. Your back arches this time, shaking beneath him. His hips then stalled as he came to his release.

The two of you are panting, as he slowly pulls out. He stands up removing the condom, throwing it in the trash. He comes back to you with a washcloth to clean you up. He then grabbed your underwear and a pair of pajamas to change into.

He then slipped into a pair of boxers and shorts, crawling into the bed beside you after you had changed. He wrapped his arm around you pulling you into his chest.

“I love you Y/N.” He kissed your head softly.

“I love you too, Josh…” You smiled nuzzling into him.

August 2014

July went by quickly, Josh had joined you and your family on a trip to Florida for the holiday. Where he got to meet some of your other relatives, at the beginning of August Josh’s family invited you to join them on their family vacation to Nashville. In which you happily agreed to go.

The trip with the Kiszka’s was nothing but fun, they were a happy and fun family to be surrounded with nonetheless. Even if his mom had a little too much wine, she was still so lovely to be around.

People probably thought that you and Josh were annoying for how much time the two of you spent together. But you didn’t care, he was your person. He made you happier than anyone ever did before. He was a ray of sunshine, as his mom would say and it was true.

But today it was move-in day for Michigan State University. Josh and you had packed up everything you would need for the next couple months. This would be your new home for until the school year was over. Josh and you decided on packing everything into one car, and driving to campus together.

The goodbyes to your family and his were sweet and heartfelt even though the two of you wouldn’t be too far from home. It was nice to finally be somewhat on your own, starting a new chapter of your life.

Once the two of you arrived on campus, you found out the two of you would be staying in the same housing, just one floor apart from one another. The two of you met up with your roommate for the school year and started to move your things into your assigned dorms.

Move-in was stressful as it was a complete cluster with all the new students arriving and current students arriving as well. You felt a little overwhelmed and Josh could sense it as the two of you finished bringing everything in.

“Hey… You alright sunny?” He grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them softly.

You shook your head, “Just nervous, a little overwhelmed I guess…” You sighed softly, leaning into him wrapping your arms around him. He wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly as he rubbed your back.

“Everything’s going to be fine. It’s normal to feel like this.” He chuckled softly.

You nodded, “Yeah… I’m just scared of starting this chapter. What if it isn’t what I’d hoped it would be?” You looked into his eyes.

“Sunshine… College, not even college. Life isn’t going to be perfect. Things are going to happen, your views may change on what you want to pursue. Shit, who's to say that Jake wants to continue on with music…”

The two of you locked eyes, laughing uncontrollably. “Yeah, Jake would never stop his music career. He is so passionate about it.” You smiled, “As I am with film…” You giggled softly.

“I’m so excited about this fall course. Did you know that they are going to be showing A Clockwork Orange?” He giggled softly. You shook your head smiling softly, man did he love that film.

“I wasn’t aware, did you somehow bribe the professor to showcase it?” You playfully jabbed at him.

He rolled his eyes, pulling you close to him, kissing your lips softly. You kissed him back, humming softly as you ran your hands through his hair.

“Get a room…” You heard a wanderer say, making the two of you break out in a giggle.

“It’s late anyways… We should probably head to our dorms and get ready for our first day of classes tomorrow.” You patted his chest lightly.

“Yeah, you’re right. Don’t want to be late…” He chuckled softly.

“You, late? Never…” You giggled softly.

“This time around I can’t be late, as it’s my money paying for schooling now…” He sucked in a breath. You nodded, smiling softly.

He walked you to your dorm room, standing outside of your room with you. He pushed a piece of your hair out of your face. “I love you, sunny…” He smiled softly, kissing your lips softly.

You kissed him back softly, running your hand in his hair before pulling away slowly. “I love you too… Goodnight, Josh.” You pecked his lips softly, before entering your dorm to get a good night’s rest for classes tomorrow.

September 2014

It’s been a month since Josh and yourself have been students at Michigan State. The classes were relatively easy for this semester, the second semester is normally what became a little more challenging for most students.

Josh however was making a killing in the film class the two of you were in together. Everyone in class wanted to partner up with him every chance they could take, but he would turn them down to partner up with you. You always told him that he should consider working with others to help expand his creative mind. But he always reassured you that he felt more comfortable working with you.

You guys had a fall break coming up in October, it was only for a week, but it was still nice nonetheless to be able to go home and see family for a little while and get a break from classes.

While attending your classes here, you started to find a love in your photography more. Some days Josh and yourself would take walks around campus taking pictures of the trees that surrounded and heading back to your dorm to edit pictures testing your ability to see how much you’ve learned.

But nothing ever came close to making your short films with Josh. It was still one of your most favorite things to do, in fact the two of you had planned to work on a short film over winter break. Already had the cast lined up that you wanted present for your next project.

“Sunshine!” Josh saw you outside sitting on a bench fiddling with your tote bag.

“Hi, Joshy!” You smiled softly, as she took a seat next to you.

“And how is my beautiful girl doing today?” He chuckled softly, kissing your cheek.

“Great! Just finished my math exam… But I think I did well. At least I hope so, you weren’t very helpful last night with studying.” You poked his chest.

“If I remember correctly, you were the one getting handsy last night.” He smirked, making you blush as you were reminiscing from last night’s rendezvous.

“I can’t help that I’m attracted to you. It’s human nature…” You giggled softly.

“All things fuck…” He chuckled softly, as you slapped his arm playfully.

“Play nice Josh.”

“So, we’ve got exciting news. Jake got us booked a newer dive bar somewhere around campus here.” He smiled softly.

“Wow, that's great! Are they offering to pay more?” You always wanted to make sure the guys got paid for what they were worth. You started making money for yourself by taking clients for photoshoots.

“Yeah, he even said that if we put on a good enough show we can become a regular monthly gig…” He smiled nervously.

“Josh, that's amazing! I’m so happy for you guys.” You smiled softly, pulling him in for a hug.

“It’s really all Jake’s doing. He’s the mastermind.” He shrugged lightly.

“And you as well, you have a beautiful voice Josh. Don’t ever forget that!” You kissed his lips softly.

The guys had started to pick up more gigs to perform at on the weekends. Practically every other weekend Josh would be out at a local bar performing with the guys to try and get their names out there. Jake was very serious about trying to get somewhere, he was positive that one day they would be assigned to a label to start working on a record deal.

You showed up to every show they would have, being present to show your support for not just your partner but your friends, family to say the least. You looked up to Jake, Sam and Danny as brothers. The one local bar tried to get scouts to come in to see the guys perform to try and help jumpstart a process for them. As they had hope for them.

Of course you believed in them, you never once doubted them. But part of you also worried that Josh might perhaps give up on his film dream. And that’s what crushed you… You wanted to see him live out his passion, little did you know music was slowly becoming his passion too…

.

.

.

To be continued

Taglist-

@lyndszee @laneygvf @sacredthefran @starcatcherry @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @jordie-gvf-admin @radmads-gvf @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @sinsofstardust @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @gretasfallingsky @char289

[risingwiththeheatabove]

A Little Honey - Series

Work in progress

The is my first fic so please go easy on me! I am by no means a writer. I just thought this would be fun. All of the beautiful works from others inspired me to create my own. Thank you for reading. Everything written here is fictional. Peace and love.

Pairing: Josh X Reader

Warnings: 18+, Alcoholism, toxic parents, domestic abuse, drug use, alcohol use, coarse language, angst, fluff, explicit sexual content, NSFW, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral, blood kink, praise kink, daddy kink, and probably so much more that I am forgetting. I will keep this updated to the best of my ability as I write. Please let me know if I miss anything.

Summary: You and your sister move to Nashville after you end a toxic relationship. New experiences await you. Both of you are excited to see what Nashville has to offer. Life seems to be going smoothly until you meet a group of guys who threaten to shake things up.

I am leaning towards having this be a slow burn (but who knows) I intend to keep this as an on going universe even once the chapters are completed. I really hope you enjoy.

Background

Chapter One - Honey

Chapter Two - Dirty Dancing

Chapter Three - Strange Horizons

Chapter Four - Just Friends

Chapter Five - Happy Campers

Chapter Six - Part One - The Christmas Special

Chapter Six - Part Two - The Christmas Special

Chapter Seven - You Worry Me

Chapter Eight - Baby I’m Your’s

Chapter Nine - Viva Las Vegas

Chapter Ten - Full House

I will be doing a tag list for this series! If you would like to be added send me a message or comment below!

[eyelinerjake]

Testing The Waters - Jake Kiszka One Shot

Word count: 2k+

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up pleaseeee), Dirty Talk, Light Choking, 18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: You spend all day at Disneyland with Jake, seeing him enjoy himself and live out his pirate dreams. It turns you on to the point that you can’t wait and decide to act on an impulse in the hot tub. 

The sun is starting to go down as you lay out on an inflatable bed in the pool of the Airbnb you are sharing with Jake’s siblings and their significant others. You were all in California for their last couple of shows on their Dreams In Gold tour. It had been a long year of traveling, and you were all in serious need of a day to have some fun. 

You all had decided to spend the day at Disneyland since you were already in Anaheim. It was cheesy, but none of you had gone before and the guys had been really enthusiastic, so you were happy to tag along. All of you had too much fun going on rides, goofing off with various characters you bumped into while walking around, and wrapping the day with dinner in the Star Wars cantina. 

The highlight of your day though was seeing Jake in his element. He had this carefree spirit that took over his usual more reserved demeanor in public. About halfway through the day, he decided to go all out and dawn a faded brown pirate hat that he had found in the gift shop. It was like it was made specifically for him. He had pulled out a stack of cash and bought it before you could even see him try it on. 

There was something about seeing him so outgoing, seeing him smile and laugh more than he had in a while, seeing him so confident being himself and enjoying the things that he enjoys unapologetically. It made you impossibly turned on. 

You had to use every ounce of strength and restraint that you had to stay in the moment the entire day, convincing yourself to not drag him to the nearest family bathroom and attack him with your mouth. 

When Josh had suggested that you all head back to the rental house after dinner you were so relieved. You weren’t sure how much longer you could hold back from Jake. 

You weren’t so lucky though, instead of everyone retreating to their respective bedrooms to relax, somehow you all ended up around the pool. Everyone was drinking and having a good time, only adding to the knot in your stomach as you watched Jake laugh and mess around with his brothers while speaking in a ridiculous accent and wearing nothing but short swim trunks and his pirate hat. It was something about that fucking hat, it brought him confidence in the sexiest way. 

Finally, Josh was the first to speak up yet again. 

“Alright, I’m ready to head to bed. We have a big show tomorrow, you all should get your rest too,” he spoke sternly.

“Yeah, I’m beat. My bed is calling my name.” Sam chimed in. 

You knew as soon as you joined them in the house it was game over. The walls were thin and you were all on the same floor. You needed him tonight, there was no way you were waiting. 

“I think Jake and I are going to enjoy the hot tub for a couple of minutes before we head to bed. My legs hurt from walking around so much today, gotta soak the muscles for a bit,” you spoke up before Jake could make the decision to also retire for the night.

He raised his eyebrow at you but then nodded his head and turned to Josh. “Yeah, go ahead guys. We will be in soon.” 

“Alright you two crazy kids, just don’t forget to lock the patio up when you’re done.” Josh warns. 

The two brothers retreat back into the house through the sliding glass doors and disappear up the stairs, eventually out of sight. 

Finally, you were alone. You take the opportunity to get out of the pool and saunter over to Jake, purposely not adjusting the bikini bottoms that had clung to your ass. 

You grab his hand and lead him to the hot tub, walking nice and slow to give him a good look as you descend the stairs. He stood facing you, clearly enjoying what you were up to. You grab onto his shoulders and push him down to sit on the built-in bench that wrapped around the hot tub. Causing his mid-torso and below to be completely submerged in the scalding water. 

“What has gotten into you?” he asks, letting out a light laugh.

You take a step so you are standing in between his open legs, wrapping your arms around his neck and lean in toward his ear. 

“You have no idea how badly I have wanted you all day long. I was ready to pretend to be sick just to get you out of that damn amusement park. I had to physically stop myself from pulling you aside and getting on my hands and knees for you right there. You looked so sexy all day, and that hat… it does something to me.” you say, voice a low whisper.

He lets out a groan as you pull back to see his face. You playfully suck on his bottom lip and bite it, pulling it with your teeth as you move back. His hands move to grip your waist and pull you in closer. You decide to wrap your legs around his torso, one at a time until you are fully straddling him. His semi-hard dick sits right under your core with nothing but a layer of your thin swimsuits as a barrier. 

“I’ve thought about you all day, your huge cock filling me up. Thought about you taking me and having your way with me anywhere you want. I’d do anything to feel you. I need you.” he starts to speak but you aren’t done with having the upper hand yet.

You initiate a kiss, starting slow and intimate and building into something more passionate and needy. Jake licks into your mouth, asking for entrance. Your tongues dance with each other, each movement coming together like a perfectly choreographed dance. 

Desperate for some friction, you grind against him just once, triggering a whiny moan from him. You can tell he is just as frustrated as you are. 

Knowing you have to be quiet with the family right inside the house, you kiss him again with an open mouth, swallowing all of his noises greedily as you drag yourself up and down his clothed erection. 

“Y/N, if you keep doing that I am not going to last very long,” he warns as you continue moving against him, your mouth now licking a stripe from his throat to his jaw. 

You snake your hands down his body, enjoying every delicious inch of his skin. From his chest down his stomach, finally landing on his waistband. 

“That’s okay, we can make it quick. I just need you, Jake.” you look up at him under your lashes.

“Are you sure we should do this here? What if someone comes out? What if there are cameras?” he asks, voice worried but he is distracted by your hand dipping into his shorts and gripping his base, pumping up and down slowly.

“We can be discreet, I’ll just sit on your lap. No one will expect a thing, I can be a good girl for you, Jakey.” your voice is sweet, dripping like honey. He tips his head back as you quicken the pace of your hand on his dick. 

That was enough for him, he was always weak when it came to your words. Immediately his grip on your hips gets even harsher. Your heartbeat quickens, ready for him to be in control. 

He lifts you up, fighting against the buoyancy of the water around you. He spins you around so you’re facing away from him, but your ass is planted firmly on his crotch. He has his left arm wrapped around your front, his forearm tight against your chest, he puts his hand under your bikini top and begins to massage your breast. 

He uses the pointer and middle finger of his right hand to push your bottoms to the side, dipping his fingers into you. It’s your turn to moan now, finally getting what you had been craving the entire day. Your entire lower half is tingling, overstimulated from waiting for hours to feel him where you need him the most. 

“My little poor thing, you’ve been aching for my cock all day, haven’t you?” his lips brush against your ear and you feel his hot breath on your skin.

You nod vigorously, unable to see his face or anticipate his next move. He pumps his fingers in and out of you, his left hand still having a firm grip on your hip. You hook each of your feet around his calves for support as you writhe under his touch, leveraging the stability to fuck yourself against his digits. 

“Fuck, baby. You really are needy tonight. Tell me what you need. Use your words, angel.” he coaxes, knowing already what you want but forcing you to verbalize it. He slows his fingers down until they are painfully slow, just edging you along for the fun of it.

“Jake, please. I need you. Inside me. Now.” you whine, not caring how pathetic you sound at the moment. 

“That’s my good girl. I won’t make you wait any longer.” he removes his fingers from your center and you sigh at the loss of contact. 

He pulls his shorts down just enough to be able to pull his dick out, sliding it up and down your folds. You instinctively lift yourself up, allowing him entrance. He sinks you down onto his shaft, almost painfully slow. You gasp at the feeling of him hitting you so deeply, something that happens every time the two of you had sex. 

His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, tilting your head back so he has access to your neck. He sucks on the open flesh, leaving a mark without a doubt. You roll your head back even further, a pleasured sigh leaving your lips.

His other hand travels down your torso until the pad of his middle finger sits directly on your clit. You’re not sure if it’s the slight loss of air as he lightly chokes you, his dick buried inside of you, or the tight circles he’s rubbing on your bundle of nerves, but you are approaching your finish fast. 

Your back is arched so you feel him even deeper, him hitting the perfect spot with each stroke. His breath starts to get erratic and you can tell that he’s close too. You squeeze around him so he knows you are right there.

“That’s it, baby. Gonna cum right on my cock? Wanna feel your tight little pussy trembling around me. Give it to me like a good girl.” his voice is rushed as his grip around your throat tightens. 

That was enough to tip you over the edge, your orgasm rippling through you as you shake in his grip.

“Mmmmm, I love feeling that pretty cunt squeeze my cock. I’m there too, Y/N.” he picks up his pace, gripping your hips and slamming you down faster now. Fuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkk” he moans into your ear as he joins you past the finish line. 

You detach yourself from him and stand up. He grabs your hand and turns you around, pulling you in for a kiss. 

“Was that worth that wait?” he grins at you. 

“Absolutely. Now let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.” you wink.

The two of you exit the hot tub, wrapping up in fluffy white towels and padding into the kitchen of the house. 

Jake locks the door behind you and draws the blinds across the sliding glass door. 

You both turn around and jump when you’re met by Josh. Standing at the sink, holding a glass of water. 

“I was wondering if you two had drowned out there, it’s been a while. Glad to see you are just fine,” he says with a smirk. He dumps the remainder of the liquid in his cup into the stainless steel basin and moves past the two of you, lightly bumping his shoulder against Jake’s. 

The two of you look at each other with blushed cheeks and giggle. 

“Guess there’s nothing to hide now. Round 2 in the bedroom?” he quips, lifting you over his shoulder and running up the stairs.

[obetrolncocktails]

Deception | Josh Kiszka X Reader | Part 5

Warnings: Minors DNI (Heavy content): lying, gaslighting, sexual assault, crying, anger/angst, mention of blood, physical assault, miscommunication, violence, manipulation.

Word Count: 3,862

Summary: Nothing is exactly as it seems. Snakes roam in the prettiest of gardens. Be careful or you'll be bitten.

Buying cardboard boxes shouldn’t have been a tearful experience. For many, moving has a negative connotation, but for you, moving was a saving grace. Moving out of college, out of your parents’ house, into your first apartment, and into Josh’s house, they’d all been moments of transition– of growth. And now, moving your knick knacks out of Josh’s house just broke your heart even further. All morning, you attempted to erase any memory of your existence while working with Hailey, Jita and Danny to clear the entire house of your presence, even down to the utensils you’d bought for you and Josh, surprising him with a “y/n warming” present as you moved in. 

Making jokes in your head was one of the few coping mechanisms that made the process the least bit manageable. You thought about functional alcoholism, sardonically asking yourself, I don’t know how people live like that…is it possible to be a functional wreck? Where is the relief?

“There’s about four more boxes of clothes in Josh’s room,” Danny mentioned, taping up one of the dangerously-full boxes in the kitchen. You nodded, setting the last of the supplies in a new box. “Can you help move these to the truck first?” Danny watched your expression, his lips pulling into a taut line. You thought he felt bad for you, but he didn’t say anything else, only nodded and bent to pick up the heavy box he had just taped. It was strange to see how bare the house had become in just mere hours. Seeing the empty shelves reminded you of the conversation that Jake regretted so much, having to tell you that Josh wanted you gone without a word. 

Jake had been especially supportive while Josh was gone, though you didn’t expect it, or even really welcome it at first. Knowing that your entire life with Josh and his family had been destroyed filled you with a dread that was only magnified when you spoke to anyone he was close with. Being outed like you were at the party left you alert with any new interaction or slightly off-color remark. You’d told Jake that as soon as you were packed, you’d store your belongings and drive the five hours to Cincinnati to live with your parents until you could get back on your feet. You’d made the decision after resisting your mother’s invitation over the phone several times, until, late at night when you were in bed alone, the sense of helplessness creeped in and urged you to relent and finally take her offer. 

 Jita stepped into the kitchen, placing her hand on your back as you stood, frozen in your own thoughts.  “Hey,” she said softly. “Do you need to take a break for a second?” Her voice was like warm honey. She was nurturing and kind, her touch pulling you back into the room. You cleared your throat as you stood up straight. 

“I think I just need a minute,” You said, feeling your nose burning from an excess of emotion as your thoughts became too much once again. 

“Okay,” she nodded, pulling her hands to the box that you’d been filling. “Let me help.” You let her continue to fill the box, stepping away and heading outside. 

***

It was blazing hot as Josh landed on the tarmac, the humidity pasting his curls to his head as he plodded through the parking lot to find his jeep. Despite a long, unavoidable layover, he’d had time to think about his time back home in Michigan, and his conversation with Ronnie. He’d decided that his relationship with you was no one’s business, and that he’d work through the issues with you personally. He never wanted to be the one who played games or listened to those outside of the relationship until it was thrown into his face. He’d regretted spinning out of control like he had, and he knew that he’d hurt you just as much as you had hurt him. He loved you, and he knew that you loved him too, and that was enough for him. 

The drive home for Josh was a blur. He felt like he had to race in order to catch you in time. He hadn’t spoken to you, and he knew that his orders to Jake were extremely rigid and angry. He spent the entire drive practicing and altering the same script over and over for what seemed like hours. He knew that he’d forget it all as soon as he saw you, but it made him feel better to do it anyway. As soon as he saw the Penske truck parked, Josh’s gut flipped. Not even bothering to park in the driveway, he pulled to the edge of the sidewalk and stepped out of his car, forgetting to turn off the ignition. Seconds later, he stumbled back out of his jeep, jogging toward the house. 

“Josh! You’re home, I missed you!” Hailey said, her tone especially enthusiastic as she stepped toward him with a full box of your belongings.

***

Covered in sweat from countless trips back and forth from the truck, you hiked the latest cardboard box on your hip as you wiped your brow with the back of your hand, preparing to make another trip outside. Stepping out of the door, you immediately felt the sweltering heat blanket over your body with yet another bothersome layer of sticky sweat. 

Squinting your eyes from the sun, you pulled your gaze upward and froze in your tracks. 

“What the–” Josh exclaimed, turning quickly to you, breaking aggressively from a kiss with Hailey. His eyes were wide with shock, probably from the guilt of being caught. 

“Josh, what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Hailey said incredulously, jumping back from him. her fingertips lifted to her lips where Josh had kissed her. “I’m with Sam, how could you do that to him?” She continued, looking between you and Josh. “And to Y/n!” Hailey moved away from Josh and toward you, pulling you in tightly to her. It made you extremely uncomfortable in the moment. 

“Hailey, what the fuck are you talking about?” Josh attempted. “Y/n, it’s not–”

“Josh, you’ve got problems you need to fix,” Hailey continued. “I understand you might have feelings for me, but to do that right here? Right after you forced Y/n out of the house, and couldn’t even make it in person to break up with her the right way?” She shook her head in disgust. “How low could you get?” She finished. 

“Y/n, she’s fucking lying!” Josh practically shouted, pointing his finger scornfully at her. “I’d never kiss Hailey, what the fuck is wrong with you?” He spat, turning to her, who’s expression remained calm and neutral. 

“I’m not the one who just cheated in front of their girlfriend,” She responded. 

“You literally just assaulted me, and trapped me against the fucking truck. You’re literally psychotic–”

“Both of you shut the fuck up,” you spoke, your voice as cold as ice. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall in front of them as they watched you. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and I’m going to walk away before I say or do something I regret,” you continued. Turning on your heel, you stepped back toward the house, feeling your heart race, and the tears began to roll down your cheeks. 

Josh held out his hand to catch you by the elbow. “Y/n, please–” 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you hissed through gritted teeth, wrenching your arm from his grasp. “Don’t ever talk to me again.” You said finally before trudging into the house, searching for your car keys. 

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Jita asked from inside yours and Josh’s bedroom. She paused from laying your clothes on the bed once she saw you crying. 

“Josh–he–he,” You attempted, finding it incredibly difficult to put what you saw in words. 

Jita walked over to the door and closed it, turning the knob to lock it as well. “Come sit,” she said gently, coming to sit at the end of the bed. By now, your tears had moved to choked sobs, and you attempted to keep them as quiet as possible, feeling embarrassed by the vulnerable, and involuntary show of emotion. 

“He kissed Hailey. They were kissing,” You said, your eyebrows knitted together with confusion as the image proliferated in your mind over and over, making you feel worse and worse by the minute. 

“Hailey? Josh and Hailey?” She asked, her tone filled with disbelief, which made you want to dissolve even quicker. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, correcting herself. “I just can’t imagine them–She’s with Sam, though–”

“Josh kissed her,” you explained, wiping at your nose as you sniffled. “He kissed her knowing damn well I was inside, just to get back at me. He wanted to hurt me.”

“Something doesn’t seem right,” Jita blurted. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but Josh wouldn’t do that.”

“You’re wrong,” you argued angrily. “I watched him kiss her.” You bunched your hands in fists, feeling your nails uncomfortably dig into the flesh of your palms.

Jita sat there for a moment, biting at the corner of her mouth, running her fingers through her dark hair. “I don’t know what to say, Y/n. I’m so sorry. This is awful.”

“There’s nothing to say,” you shrugged, swiping away the tears that were beginning to dry on your cheeks. You reached for a nearby pillow and wrapped your arms around it, plopping it into your lap. As you did, you felt something cold and metallic slip onto the bed, and before you could reach it, it slid over the edge, grazing along your bare leg until it landed on the floor with a tinny clatter.

Reaching down, you looped the small chain around your fingers, lifting it up to see. As soon as you saw the small, golden ‘H,’ that hung from the bracelet, you knew it was over. 

“What?” Jita asked, her eyes darting between you and the piece of jewelry. “What is it?”

You shook your head, smiling pitifully through a torrent of silent tears. Your mouth felt dry and hot, and your head pulsed painfully. “He cheated on me,” you could barely pinch out. You sniffled loudly, closing your hand around the gold. “He betrayed me.” Everything you had known over the last eight months had suddenly vaporized in front of you. “He betrayed me,” you repeated, rolling over into Jita’s lap. She caressed your body in an almost-motherly way, her fingers dappling over the bare skin of your arms and shoulders before moving to stroke the softness of your hair while you wept. “I’m sorry,” she had said several times before re-adjusting in her spot, letting you cry while she held you. 

You didn’t have a plan. Hell, over the last two weeks, you’d flown by the seat of your pants, letting your misery float you from friend to friend and house to house; but now, you quite literally had nowhere to go. Over the last eight months, you had isolated yourself into Josh’s circle, and while you welcomed it at the time, now you felt completely alone. The only privacy you knew you’d have was in the safety of your car. 

Stepping out of the bedroom with Jita at your side, you were determined to wear a hardened exterior. You were too exhausted to hide, so instead, you moved forward and kept your head held high. Josh sat on the couch speaking to Jake, who had recently arrived back at the house to finish packing. They both sat with stern expressions, though Josh looked miserable, his fingertips having teased out his usually-neat curls into a puff on the top of his head. “I didn’t do–” he said, before Jake lifted his head toward you, swallowed, and looked back down. Josh pushed himself off of the couch and attempted to step forward before you put up a hand to stop him. 

“I know what it looks like, it’s terrible. But I fucking swear to you, Y/n, I would never–”

You shook your head in response. “Your promises and swears mean absolutely nothing to me, Josh. I’m done.” You crossed your arms across your chest, still gripping the bracelet in your hand. 

“She kissed me, Y/n! She literally jumped on me and kissed me out of nowhere!” He tried, swinging his hands around his body as he spoke. Jake and Jita remained silent, but moved closer to each other as they watched, unsure of what to do. 

“Open your hand,” You ordered Josh.

“What?” He said, narrowing his eyes with confusion. 

“Open your hand,” you repeated, the words coming out monotonous and emotionless. You gripped the metal in between your fingers like a sword with enemy blood dripping from it, yet you felt no power in the discovery of the item. Every second you held it made your anger boil hotter and hotter. Slowly, you stepped forward to Josh, lifting your hand, and dropping the bracelet into his palm. 

“Take this as a learning opportunity from someone who loved you unconditionally. I really hope you find true happiness Josh, but it won’t be with me,” you told him before turning to Jake and Jita. “Send the truck to Cincinnati,” you told them nonchalantly. “If most of it gets there, I’ll be okay with that.”

You walked out of the house quickly, stopping to grab your keys from the kitchen island on the way.

“Y/n, please don’t leave. Not like this,” Josh begged.

You continued walking despite his pleading, clicking the unlock button on your key fob. “Josh, stop.” You told him. “It’s okay. I get it. You made mistakes, I made a mistake too, and I’m sorry, but I can’t continue to be miserable under your influence. I have to be done. I have to walk away.”

“You don’t understand,” he shook his head tearfully. “I was never unfaithful to you and I will prove it. I was coming back to Nashville to tell you I love you and that I was sorry.”

“It’s too late for all of that, now,” you told him, turning in place and stepping forward toward Josh. Taking his hands in yours, you squeezed them tightly, leaned forward and kissed him one last time. You felt the wetness of his tears as they slid down his face and into the kiss.“I’ll miss you, Josh. You were the best eight months of my life,” you admitted. “Just be good to her,” you finished, squeezing his hands one last time before stepping away and getting into your car and backing out of the driveway. He stood there frozen, staring at your car as you disappeared out of the neighborhood. Inside, you let the tears fall, and you sarcastically wondered if and when they’d ever stop flowing. 

***

An hour down the road, you’d decided that you were calm enough to make a call. If Hailey and Josh were going to do something so hurtful together, you’d make sure they did it out in the open. You reached and pressed the contact button on your dash, searching for Sam’s name. Once you found it, you called him. 

The dial tone rang and rang, then went to voicemail. You heard his voice prompt you to leave a message, but you hung up, knowing it wouldn’t be the least bit respectful to tell him about Hailey that way. Knowing that there was a long drive ahead of you, you opened one of your favorite spotify playlists and shuffled the songs, tapping along to the beat as you drove down the hypnotizing interstate. 

Sam’s ringtone blared through the car a while later, forcing you to be more alert. Looking down at the dash, you pressed the green ‘answer’ button. 

“Hello?” You asked in as neutral of a tone as you could muster. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked. “Sorry, Hailey came home crying,” he began, his voice laced with awkward tension, like there was more that he knew. Of course there was. “I’m driving to Josh’s.”

“Not really,” you admitted. “I’m on the way to my parents’ house.” You didn’t want to ask what his intentions were with that, but you could assume. 

“Tell me what you saw with Hailey and Josh. Hailey said that he kissed her?” He asked, more confused than angry. 

“Yes. I saw them kissing. I don’t trust either of them,” You admitted. “Don’t trust Hailey, Sam. She and Josh are cheating on both of us with each other.”

“Hailey wouldn’t do that,” he argued. “She loves me. We’re super happy,” he said. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with Josh, though. I’ll deal with him later.” 

“Listen, I know you don’t like talking about these things,” you continued. “But I just need to separate myself from everything. I just wanted to let you know that neither of them are innocent. I’m tired of the bullshit, so I’m just done.” 

“I’ll update you when I can,” Sam mentioned hurriedly, his tone rising with frustration. 

You hung up with him, sighing as you drove, knowing that you’d have plenty of material to think about on the way to your parents’ house. 

***

Sam had left Hailey at home, not sure how to handle what he had been told. Hailey had explained that Josh had kissed her, and that she had nothing to do with it. What you’d seen played over and over in your head, and as much as you wanted to hate Josh, something deep inside still nipped at your judgment, urging you to think again. Hailey had been a fairweather friend, taking you under her wing when things had fallen apart with Josh. As soon as he arrived again, she appeared again. You’d have three more hours to decide if it was worth it to drag yourself back into the drama. 

***

Sam pulled up to Josh’s house in a flurry, slamming the door to his Tesla carelessly. He furiously stomped up the driveway and blew open the front door, finding Josh standing in the kitchen. 

“You motherfucker,” Sam seethed, yanking his brother up by the collar of his sweatshirt, cocking his hand back and decking Josh clear across the face. Sam’s knuckles blasted with pain as his hand made contact with Josh’s jaw, the anger moving into outright belligerence as he laid eyes on him.

“Sam–” Josh attempted, his hands flying up to defend himself, but Sam did not relent. His hand cracked again into Josh’s nose, then his eye, and his cheek again. He slumped to the floor, stunned and frozen. 

“She’s my fucking girlfriend, Josh!” Sam shouted at him, watching as blood began to trickle out of Josh’s nose and mouth. His face had grown red from the trauma of being hit, his breath hitching in gurgles. “You fucking destroyed Y/n, and now you try to destroy me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam reeled back for another blow, but Danny intervened, grabbing Sam off of Josh and pulling him away. 

“Sam! Stop it, that’s enough!” Danny shouted, slamming Sam back into the closest wall. He stood against it, chest heaving as he bunched his bloodied fists at his side. 

Josh lay on the kitchen floor, bleeding from his nose and cut lip, his eyes widened and stunned. Sam and Danny watched for a moment, listening to Josh moan and groan. 

“Josh–” Jake sputtered, rushing into the room, crouching by his brother, lifting him from the floor as gently as he could. 

“I didn’t–do it,” Josh croaked, spitting blood onto the floor. 

“Y/n called me,” Sam said with a spiteful smirk. “She watched you kiss my girlfriend and then pretend like it was all her idea when you were caught.” 

“Sam, go outside,” Danny ordered quietly, but sternly. “Now.” 

Sam didn’t budge from his spot until Danny began to physically remove him. 

“Can you stand?” Jake asked once Sam was out of the house. 

“I-I think so,” Josh began, grabbing onto the cabinets for help to get up, Jake righting him as he stood. 

Five minutes later, Jita had sat Josh down on his couch, prepped with a washcloth, ice, and several bandaids, though by the looks of it, there was nothing they could do to stop the bleeding coming from his nose and lip. The wash cloth had quickly changed color from white to pink, removing most of the blood from his face. It did little to minimize the ugly bruising and swelling that was beginning to set in.

“Danny left with Sam,” Jake announced, coming back into the house. “We’ll worry about his car later.” Josh looked up at his brother, feeling the puffy swelling of his eyes as he lifted his gaze. “Damn you look terrible,” Jake said with a soft chuckle. “I’m so sorry.” 

Josh shook his head slowly as Jita continued to dab at his face. “I didn’t fucking kiss or fuck her,” he repeated. “She’s an evil bitch.” He spat out the words, and Jake half expected more blood to pour from Josh’s mouth from how seethingly-angry his words were. 

“I wanted her and I to be okay. I took the first flight I could find to get back here. Hailey literally assaulted me,” He explained, his expression filled with confusion. “Now she’s lying and gaslighting me. I never did a fucking thing to her.”

“How do we prove it?” Jake asked, coming to sit beside Josh. 

“You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I believe you, Josh.” Jake couldn’t explain why, but the cliché twin-telepathy was true in this case. Jake and Josh were connected through the soul and through the heart, and though Josh wasn’t perfect, he surely wasn’t unfaithful, and Jake knew that at his core. “We need to prove it so everyone else does,” he continued. Jita looked at Jake, then to Josh nodding. 

“How did her necklace get into your pillowcase?” Jita asked, lowering the rag. “You sure you didn’t–” she began, lowering the rag to her lap, taking one last moment to question Josh in case there was any information he was keeping to himself. 

“Not once. Not ever.” He insisted without hesitation. 

“Okay,” she nodded. “You’re going to take a while to heal,” she said, assessing his injuries. “I don’t think anything’s broken. Does this hurt?” She asked, pinching at the tip and base of his nose, moving it left to right. His eyes squinted shut from pain. 

“Yes, but not too bad.”

“Then I don’t think it’s broken,” She decided, lowering her hands. “Take Advil around the clock,” she said with a pitiful smile. “That’s the best advice I have for you. Ice your face once every two to three hours. You’re gonna have one hell of a shiner,” she explained. 

“It’s okay. I would have beaten the shit out of me, too,” Josh explained, chuckling through his teeth. “I’m not mad at Sam.”

“But Hailey?” Jake asked. 

“Fuck her,” Josh answered quickly. “I will never hit a woman, but I really hope she gets what she fucking deserves.”

--

End of Part 5.

taglist:

@doodle417 @watchingovergvf@capturethechaos @sammyfuckingkiszka @ace-harrington @gvfvanfleet @flo-gvf @sacredthefran @jjwrites @jmkho @joshsindigostreak @gold-mines-melting @allieisacrybaby@sammysprincess@gretavansara @dannythedog@demolitionndann @gretasmokerising @sonicbaptism@vixenstail @hearts-hunger@malany-gvf@cal-a-bungaa @rhythm-of-space@alwaysonthemend@meetingthestardust@ageofsinners @katelynn-gvf @ageofwagner @sacredthethreadgvf@takenbythemadness @st4rdust-ch0rds @joshysgirl @gvfvanfleet @gretasfallingsky @madneedshelp @lipstickitty @myownparadise96 @meetingthestardust @vanfleeter @sacredthefran @mini-vann @sacredthethreadgvf@love-and-greta@gretafaninheat @positivegvfthings @loveisonaroll@writingcold @tearsofjosh @meetingthestarcatchers @tripthelightfatality @puzzle-gvf @takenbythemadness @intotheether-gvf @whiterosekiszka

[holybananafuck]

Black Swan/ d.r.w pt.3

pt. 2

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Word Count: 9653

Warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI 18+, fighting (verbal and physical, danny does NOT put his hands on y/n in this way), arguing, yelling, asshole danny(ghosting), detailed description of a panic attack, masturbation, uncomfortable sexual encounter (nothing graphic), protective danny, oral sex (m&f receiving), fingering, very light spit play, steamy shower scene, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap pls!) soft danny

happy wagner wednesday ;)

black swan playlist (x)

~~~~~~~~~~~💛~~~~~~~~~~~

The ringtone from your phone buzzes through the air, waking you from your state of sleep. Your eyes open wide as you look around for your phone, finally locking onto it resting on the bedside table. You scramble to reach for it, barely answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, I’m looking for a Ms.Y/N?”

“This is she.”

“Hi, Ms.Y/N, it’s Laura, from Little Sunshine Academy. We tried calling you twice already today. You were do in at 9 for orientation, is everything okay?”

You pull the phone away to look at the time, seeing it’s now 10:30.

“Oh my- yes I am so sorry. I don’t think my alarm went off… I-I can be there by 11, 11:15 if that’s okay?” You completely forgot you were supposed to start your new job today.

“Yes, of course. Please remember to wear athletic wear and easy to remove shoes. Also keep jewelry to a minimum and no dangling or hanging pieces! We’ll see you then, bye-bye.” The phone clicks before you can say anything in return.

You entirely forgot that you’re supposed to start your new job as a teacher assistant at the nearby daycare today. Had you remembered, perhaps you would have rethought your night out. You look to the other side of the bed to see it’s empty again. Assuming Danny’s in the kitchen, you shuffle out of the covers, rustling about his room for your clothes. Once you return yesterdays outfit to your body, you hobble down the hall into the kitchen. Your legs are sore from last night, making it difficult to maneuver. The kitchen is entirely empty, only accompanied by a vase of flowers. You approach the un-Danny like object to see there’s a handwritten note attached around the smallest part.

have a good day!

yours,

danny xo

p.s. sorry i’m not home

With a big smile plastered on your face, you grab the vase and take it with you as you make your way to the door. There’s a bright pink sticky note posted above the handle that reads:

house keys are on the hook

call me when you can

yours again,

danny xo

You take his little note with you and grab your keys, heading out of his front door. The warm morning breeze brushes your cheeks, hues of pink and yellow shining onto your face from the flower’s reflecting off the sun. You take note of his Jeep missing from the driveway, leaving his Corvette behind. You brush your fingers across the hood as you walk past, images of last night flash through your mind. You make your way to your house and settle in, placing the new flowers on your counter with intentions to check up on the previous flowers later. You place the pink sticky note on the counter next to the vase and start a pot of coffee. While it’s brewing you decide to take a quick shower before work. The hot water rolls off your skin as you stand beneath it. Your mind wanders off, thinking about how Danny would look in this setting. How his hair would flatten down and grow in length under the water, or how the water would trail between the muscle on his abdomen. You wondered what his routine was like. Does he comb his hair out in the shower? Does he brush his teeth and deep condition at once to save time? You get so lost in the thought of Danny, you forget you yourself are on a time limit. You quickly finish washing yourself, finally turning the shower off and heading to your room in a towel. You shuffle through your drawers to pull out leggings and a pastel shirt, attempting to match the dress code given by Laura. Remembering Danny’s note, you place your phone on your dresser and call him as you get ready. He answers almost immediately.

“Good morning!” His warmth radiates through the speakers.

“Good morning, thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.”

“Least I could do for my girl. What are you up to? Are you on lunch?” He refers to you as “his girl” as if it’s his first nature.

“Actually, funny story… I’m not even at work, I’m getting ready,” you pause waiting for him to speak but all he gives is a small chuckle, “I forgot to set an alarm. But, I told them I’ll be there by 11:15.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I should-” you look at the time “oh fuck.” It’s already 11:05.

“Can we stay on the phone while you drive? I miss you a lot.” The neediness in Danny’s voice has you yearning for his touch.

“Of course we can. Just don’t laugh at me for road rage…”

“I promise.”

You pick your phone up and make your way to the kitchen where you put together the fastest cup of coffee in your life. The process is filled with little comments from Danny that make it feel as if he’s right next to you.

“Are we in the car yet? It’s 11:10, dear.”

“Yes, about to leave.”

“Did you lock your door?”

“I don’t think so, but honestly I think it’s fine.”

Usually your commutes are accompanied by whatever album is scratching your brain in that moment, but today was different. The drive to your new job was accompanied with something different, with someone who was somehow still a stranger, regardless of the intimacy shared over the last few days. You make sure not to take this time for granted, asking him a little more about himself to feel less like strangers. The thought of him still being a stranger is jarring considering he has seen so many intimate aspects of your life in the span of four days. Danny’s never felt like a stranger, though. From the very start his presence has been that of one you’ve known forever. Meeting him for the first time just felt like catching up with someone. You find yourself falling more and more for him as he makes his intentions a little clearer throughout the conversation.

“Okay, I’m here. Definitely not 11:15 but…” You look at the time displaying 11:30.

“Man, okay. Well, have an amazing day, beautiful. I’ll see you later. ”

“Bye, sweet boy.” Fighting the urge to tell him you loved him, you still managed to slip up.

“See ya, sweetheart.” He didn’t hold back either.

The phone clicks from the other end allowing silence to fill the air around you. You grab your coffee along with your other items and make your way towards the building. The structure is tiny and comprised of deep red brick, there’s a tiny flower bed under the windows filled with painted rocks and dandelions. You walk up to the double doors and press the big red button labeled “BUZZ FOR OFFICE.”

BUZZ

“Hi! What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/N, I’m here to start my new job.”

The door unlocks and you reach for the handle, pulling it towards you. The smell of fresh linen and drying Crayola paint tickles your nose. A smile finds its way across your lips at the nostalgic scent emanating from the room around you. The walls are covered in colorful artwork, self portraits, hand-drawn gardens, most paired with a classic corner sun and odd proportions. You step into the office to meet with Laura, the head teacher.

“I am so sorry about the time. I promise I’m a lot more punctual.” You can feel your cheeks growing red from embarrassment.

“That’s quite alright, Y/N! We’re just glad you showed up today, I knew from your interview we were going to love you right away!” Laura was a lot nicer in person by miles, her bright smile and scent of warm vanilla sugar helped.

After reading through some papers, you finish up the necessary paperwork required for you to begin working. Laura waves you in her direction as she pushes herself away from her desk and begins heading towards a classroom door. You’re instructed to take your shoes off before entering the room.

“This is the infant room, we have plenty of staff in here so you’ll be with the toddlers. I just want to show your around a bit!” Laura whispers so low you can barely hear her, careful not to wake the babies up.

Gazing into a room of babies hit a soft spot inside you. You’ve never wanted children, but in the same breath to be a mother is all you’ve ever wanted. To create life with someone you love, and raise them to be the change you want to see in the world. The baby fever grows worse as you imagine doing all of it with Danny. You start to think about his paternal instincts, his desire to protect and serve. Your mind wanders through heart wrenching thoughts of how Danny would be as a father. It’s evident Danny loves quality time, maybe he’d even teach them to golf or drum. Laura notices your mind is somewhere else as she breaks your tragic train of thought.

“That room always gets people! Do you have any?” Laura asks politely.

“Oh, me? Not yet!” You feel a pit in your stomach, realizing you’d only started feeling this way because of Danny.

“Well if you and your boyfriend ever have kids, you get a discounted price on childcare here!” Laura smiles at you and waves you over to the next room.

“Oh, I don’t-” Your face flashes a bright red hue.

“Someone called this morning for you…? Said he was your boyfriend? He wanted to make sure you got to work? Dave, or something like that?” Laura raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“Danny. I wouldn’t say- we’re like,” you pause in defeat as you try to gather the words. “We’re seeing each other, I think, but nothing has been made official yet.”

“Ah, yes, Danny! That’s the one! Well, he seems sweet.”

Laura reaches for the door of the new room before you and gives a disclaimer.

“These ones can be a little crazy, but they’re all really good kids.” She pushes the door open as the sound of small laughter slips through the crack.

You step in behind Laura feeling the squish of foam puzzle flooring beneath your feet. Not even all the way through the door, a child is running towards you to give you a hug. Instinctively, you reach down and place your hand at their back. The room is swarming with 3 year olds out numbering the staff.

“Jimmy, this is Ms. Y/N, she’s one of the new teachers here!” Laura introduces the little boy wrapped around your leg.

He looks up and flashes a big smile, almost every tooth in his mouth visible for the world to see. He lets out a little giggle and runs back to the Mega Blocks he was building earlier. Laura calls circle time and the floodgate of children find their seats on puzzle pieces. Some of them immediately were drawn to a color while others pondered on their seating chart for a second. Once everyone is seated, Laura has them go around the circle and say their names, favorite color and favorite animal. When they finish up, Laura instructs you to introduce yourself to the kids.

“Hello everyone! I’m Ms. Y/N! I just moved here from a tiny town in New Jersey!” The littles shout guesses as to where New Jersey is, ranging from as close as the backyard to as far as Mars.

You go on to tell them about some of your favorite things, allowing them to share their stories and side thoughts in attempts to read them better. At the conclusion of circle time, Laura brings you over to help bring out cots as a girl reads them a book.

“So after circle time, we do naps. Usually circle time is just a reading thing to help wind them down from sensory stations, but today was an exception. They should still sleep okay, though.” Laura smiles as she hands you a couple of cots and directs you to an open area for set up. “After they’re down for naps, Lisa can take over and you can take your lunch.”

“Even thought I was late?” You’d only been at the school for 2 hours, so being told to take a lunch break threw you off.

“Just so you get in the swing of things! It’s 45 minutes unpaid, so you’ll clock out, but you’re free to go wherever as long as you’re back in time.” Laura smiles again at you, her constant state of face.

You help to lay the kids down for naps, tucking them in with their blankets that are brought from home. After clocking out for lunch, you walk to your car and call Danny.

“Hey, everything okay?” He answers immediately.

“Yeah, I get a 45 minute lunch. Are you free?”

“I can be for you.”

“No, if you’re busy it’s okay.” You don’t want him to feel like you can’t exist without him.

“Oh, would you look at that? I’m free! Where do you wanna go?”

Unsure of what’s around, you let Danny pick a restaurant that’s between the two of you. To your surprise, he’s seemingly close to your whereabouts. The drive is a mere 10 minutes, you wonder how you even missed the bright yellow cafe on the corner when you drove right past it this morning. You pull in and immediately spot his Jeep so you park next to it. You exit your car and slowly wander through the plexiglass doors, spotting him immediately. He acknowledges you notice him immediately, but he still waves his hand up for you to see.

“Hey, beautiful. I missed you.” He flashes his toothy grin as he stands up to brace you in a hug.

“I missed you, too.” You fall into his hold as he takes you into his arms and places a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“I ordered some drinks and food already, I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, perfect. You always know what’s good, I trust your intuition.” You mumble into his chest and tighten your grip on his torso just a little, never wanting to let go.

Your embrace is abrupted by someone who recognizes Danny from across the cafe.

“Oh my god?! Danny Wagner?!”

You release your hold on Danny to look around and you see a girl with short, blonde hair approaching your table. She’s wearing a Greta Van Fleet shirt with little black shorts and Birkenstocks.

“Danny! Can we take a picture?” She asks clutching her phone in her hand.

“Yeah! Of course we can take a picture!” He reached his arm out and pulls her under his weight as she reaches her phone out to you.

He flashes his smile and so does the girl, you snap their picture and can’t help but read the message that pops up at the top of the screen.

nancy gvf🏴‍☠️ 🌈

no way… is he with someone 🫣

You decide you’ll address it with him later, opting to smile and hand her phone back instead. You sit across from each other, your arms are crossed and his are resting on the table.

“What’s the matter? You jealous?” He smirks at you.

“Not really.” You tried to lie but he saw right through it, but he didn’t know there was more bothering you than his tight grip on another girl.

“Stop being jealous. You’re my baby, right?” He reaches across and carresses your forearm with his thumb.

“Am I though, Danny? Because apparently everyone but me knows.” You weren’t meaning to bring it up right now, but it all became very heat of the moment.

“What do you mean everyone but you?”

“I mean like even the director at the daycare thinks you’re my boyfriend. Well ‘knows’ since you told her you were.”

“Do you wa-” Danny’s cut off by the waitress coming by to place the drinks he ordered onto the table. He sends the waitress off with a ‘thank you so much’ before he addresses the elephant in the room.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks quietly.

“Yes. It’s a lot, and we never discussed it before. I mean I would like-”

“Okay, can we not talk about this right now?” The look on his face was a mix of sadness on the brink of anger.

The two of you sit in utter silence, you keep looking up at him but his head is down. His phone is in his lap and he’s been looking at it since you guys stopped talking. You choose not to address it considering how angry you’ve already made him. “Thanks for lunch. I have to go now so I’m back on time.” You push away from the table and he follows your lead. He walks behind you on your way out and he goes to his own vehicle as you go to yours.

“Bye, Danny. I’ll see you later?”

“Probably not. I have stuff to do. I’ll see you around, maybe.” He waves two fingers good bye to you and peels out of the parking lot.

You get in your car, hot tears swelling in your lash line. If you had a dollar for every time Danny made you cry, you wonder if you could buy a new goddamn car. You reach for your phone to text him what you didn’t get to finish saying inside.

You

2:00 danny, what i was trying to say was that i want to be with you. we just need to know each other better i think

Read 2:00

Danny<3

•••

He begins typing but never responds, you watch as purple writing pops up under your text instead.

Danny<3 has notifications silenced ☾

You lock your phone and toss it onto your passenger seat, the tears officially make their way down your chin. You don’t allow yourself to cry for long to avoid a puffy face when you arrive back to work. Realization sets in as the tears pool on the collar of your shirt, the one person you wanted to comfort you most, you pushed away. You put on the playlist Danny made you to give some sort of comfort, but all you wanted was to be wrapped in his arms, for him to tell you it was all going to be okay. Maybe to even hear him say he loved you for the first time, or the simple endearment of him calling you beautiful, of which you’ve heard countlessly. You make it back to work with 5 minutes to spare, so you decide to scroll through Twitter to fill the time. Ever since Elon updated and rebranded the app to “X,” your timeline has never been the same. Fans of very niche communities were constantly on your suggested feed. You wondered if maybe they went off of location based on some of the odd, very state specific tweets you had seen while resting in different cities on your venture to Tennessee. Your theory is almost solidified as you see a tweet very specific to Tennessee.

lorelei misses josh☀️ @ loreleiswaysoon98

umm i think danny was on a date in nash today… someone pls find her i wanna know what she looks like👀

Attatched was a very pixelated, zoomed in photo of you and Danny at the cafe. He’s holding you in his arms and his face was resting ontop of you. Knowing that photo was taken when Danny planted a kiss on the top of your head is enough to bring slight tears back to your eyes. You screenshot the post with intentions on sending it to Danny when you got out of work, hoping his phone wouldn’t be on do not disturb anymore. You throw your phone on the dash and lock the doors behind you, going inside with nothing but your keys. Laura notices your cheeks are a little red and asks what’s wrong.

“Nothing, just one of those ASPCA ads on Hulu.” She didn’t know you enough to call your bluff, so you see no point in being honest with her.

Laura creates a little small talk about her love for animals, sharing her thoughts on PETA and vegans. She’s trying to be relatable but there’s so much going on in your own head, you can’t find yourself to give a shit, and you feel terrible for not caring considering how nice she is. The last 3 hours of your shift absolutely drag. You plaster a fake smile across your face to keep positive energy around the littles, but you want nothing more than to go home and cry.

“Ms. Y/N, can we play the blocks?” A timid girl asks tugging at the bottom of your shirt.

“Of course, Georgia!” You reach down and let her wrap her tiny fingers around your index as she runs over to the blocks laying on the floor.

It amazes you how fast the kids have warmed up to you, only a few hours in and it’s like you’ve always been there. After some play time and music it’s finally time to pack up and get the kids ready for pick up. Laura walks you through the pick up process.

“Pick up starts at 4:30 and ends at 5, anyone not picked up by 5 will stay back with me and I contact their parents. You’re only responsible to get your listed toddlers out. Any toddler with an infant sibling enrolled is paired with one of the teachers in the infant room. We started you off with solo toddlers so you’re not stressed with the pairs!”

There were one set of twins in the day care, but a good amount of sibling duos ranging as little as 7 months apart. Laura helps you through pick up today, all of the parents for your list are there within the allotted half hour. You walk into the office to punch out and Laura hands you an index card with this weeks schedule on it.

“You’ll be on next weeks paper schedule hanging on the bulletin board! This is just for this week. Are these times okay?”

You look down and see 9-5 for the next 2 days, leaving you off on Friday.

“Yeah! Thanks so much, I’ll make sure my alarm is actually set!” You let out a nervous laugh that only becomes genuine when Laura joins in.

You wave good bye and head out the front doors to your car. You grab your phone off the dash and see a notification from Danny. You hesitate before unlocking your phone, but truly you’re more eager than anything.

Danny<3

Unsent a message.

Danny<3 has notifications silenced ☾

“Are you fucking serious?” You mumble through clenched teeth and jam your knee into the steering wheel, throwing your back into the driver seat.

You grip the steering wheel and let your head fall back against the headrest. Hot, angry tears pour down your cheeks as you start your car and drive away. You opt to drive in silence this time, not wanting to associate any song with the feeling swelling inside of you. You stop at Taco Bell on the way home, as you don’t feel like cooking after today’s events. Once you finally pull into your driveway, you see that Danny’s Jeep is home, but his Corvette is not. You grab your travel mug and bag and make your way into your lonely home. The two vases of flowers gifted to you by Danny hauntingly rest in your space, but you choose to keep them around unsure of the next time, if ever again, you’ll receive such an innocent gesture from him. You flick the light on in the painfully empty living room and sit with your legs up on the couch. Not knowing if you’ll ever hear from Danny again, you decide to download Tinder for the thousandth time.

“I mean, there’s no harm right? I’m single, it’s okay!” You feel the need to justify your actions to nobody but yourself.

You sign into your very outdated account and update it with some newer pictures, preferences and your new location. Almost immediately, your phone is buzzing with notifications of matches as you mindlessly swipe for hours. Your Tinder deep dive is halted as you hear the familiar sound of Danny’s Corvette rolling down the street. Eager for a glimpse of what he’s up to, you stare out the peephole on your front door. You watch him pull into his driveway and make his way to the passenger side door. He opens up the door and out steps a tall, slender girl. She has long brown hair and tan skin, she’s undeniably gorgeous. She’s wearing light wash shorts and little black tank top with Converses. A weight drops to the bottom of your stomach at the possibilities. He didn’t even let you finish your thought at the cafe before running off to fuck someone else. Jealousy and rage fill every inch of your body as you try to get yourself ready for bed, unable to think about anything else. You set your alarm for 8am and lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling. The thought of him with someone else makes it impossible to sleep. You start to wonder if he’s making dinner with her, or holding her in his arms. If he’s pleasuring her the way he did you. You grit your teeth and let more tears roll down your face, cheeks raw and eyes sore from all the crying, you unknowingly fall asleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The alarm on your phone is going off and you don’t feel like you’ve slept at all. You barely make your way out of bed and into the bathroom. Remembering the view from the bathroom window, you draw the blinds in hopes to get a glimpse inside Danny’s house. The blinds to the room you now know as his kitchen are wide open, he’s leaning against the counter infront of the sink, just as he was the first night you saw his silouhette. You see his head shaking back and forth and his hands waving about, seemingly out of anger or frustration. You watch long enough to see the pretty brunette girl walk up to him and give him a hug. He throws his arms around her and it almost looks like he’s crying into her shoulder. Her hand rubs up and down his back a few times before she releases her hold. Jealousy washes over you as you back away from the window, leaning over the bathroom sink with short breaths. You turn on the cold water in attenpts to avoid the inevitable, but you feel the room around you start to tunnel before you can run your hands through the water to ground yourself. Your breath begins to feel limited and your chest feels heavy, like your ribs are made of wire being wrapped around your lungs. Your legs grow numb under the weight of your suddenly heavier feeling body as you fall to the floor. You wrap your arms around your legs and burrow your face into your knees, soaking your pant legs in salty tears. You try to gather yourself but yet again all you want is for Danny to hold you and tell you it’s okay. Finally catching your breath, you slowly bring yourself to your feet, leaning over the sink to flush cold water onto your face. You turn the faucet off and grab for the hand towel that you never bothered to use to dry your face. You fell asleep in yesterday’s clothes, opting to only change the shirt before work so it was less obvious. A handful of dry Captain Crunch accompanied by a few sips of milk straight from the jug is all you consume for breakfast, the desire to not eat anything heavy. You drive to work in silence and get there a few minutes early. Fighting the urge to text Danny, you opt to play a stupid little game instead. Laura greats you at the door to show you drop off procedures since you missed yesterday. The first half of your day at work goes by faster than yesterday, and lunch time rolls around.

Tinder

You’ve got a new match! 🔥

You click on the notification, figuring you’ve got nothing left to lose.

Luke

What u lookin for? 😉

You

hook up?

Luke

My kinda woman! When are u free?

You

tomorrow night, my place?

Luke agrees to meet you at your place tomorrow at 8, you hope maybe he can get your mind off of Danny. You drive to the local Subway for lunch, your lack of a real breakfast was taking a toll on your energy for today. You find a local park nearby to sit at for lunch. The ducks on the pond bring up fond memories from childhood, when your mom used to walk you and your cousin down to the creek behind the cul-de-sac. There was a path to walk down with benches periodically placed for people to sit a little ways down, but you and Ryan always insisted on climbing down the tiny hill of rocks that led to the widest part of the creek and a lone bench. The creek stretched alongside the entire length of the whopping 4 blocks they considered a town that you grew up in. As you got older, about sophomore year or so, the bench at the bottom of the rocks became the spot in which the two of you would share a blunt rolled with shitty weed from the local dealer. You guys walked the entire trail once in highschool at the beginning of your senior year. Per ritual, you and Ryan climbed down the rocks as you always had since you were little. You had found a good dealer over the summer while Ryan was away at soccer camp, so you offered to provide the weed this time. The blunt was passed back and forth until you both were giggly, the September air cooling the heat from laughter on your cheeks. Ryan pointed over to a couple of ducks splashing in the creek. High off his ass, he insisted the two of you followed the ducks to see if they would potentially turn into humans and walk away into the thick woods on the other side of the creek. You laughed at the idea but you, equally as high, entertained it anyways. For the first, and only time ever, you guys walked the entire length of the hidden trail. It led to the public entrance of the trail, you watched the ducks turn back around and swim towards your starting point. You and Ryan giggled at the thought and decided to walk through the neighborhood to get home instead of following the ducks again, fearing their movements were just going to repeat until they tired out.

Your alarm for 2:00 begins going off letting you know to head back from break. You wrap up the other half of your sandwich and make your way back to your car. You decide to put on some Harry Styles for your very short drive back to the daycare. Sunflower Vol. 6 comes on and all you can think of is Danny, yet again.

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody.

Let me inside, wish I could get to know you.

You try to think about anything, ANYONE else other than Danny, but the universe works against you with each line.

I couldn’t want you anymore, kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor, I couldn’t want you anymore, toniiiight.

Hitting too close to home, you decide can’t take it anymore, asking Siri to skip the song.

“Now playing, From the Dining Table by Harry Styles on Spotify.”

You don’t even let the song skip and start before you reach over and shut the radio off, feeling absolutely defeated by the world. You pull into the parking lot and walk through the doors for the rest of your shift. Again, everyone is picked up within the 30 minute slot for drop off, and you head home in silence, choosing not to test the fate of Spotify. Once you’re pulling into your driveway, you notice Danny’s not home again. He took his car this time and you notice he’d put the doors back on the Jeep, meaning he was home for most of the day. You left your door unlocked again, in some hopes Danny would leave flowers or a sticky note behind for you. His phone was still on do not disturb and he still hasn’t tried contacting you out side of the text he deleted yesterday. It’s only been one day since the incident and you’re losing sleep over his absence, you can’t begin to think of how you’ve gone your entire life without him in it. You draw the curtains in the living room so you can see when he gets home, tv playing some crappy Hallmark movie in the background while you eat your now soggy Subway sandwich. The closer it gets to 1am the more you realize he just might not be coming home tonight, or at least at any reasonable time soon considering you need to get up at 8 for work. You leave the curtains drawn and you crawl into bed in the same outfit you’ve been in for the past 2 days now. The soreness in your eyes allows you to fall asleep instantly.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

You feel a lot more rested today, but still worn out. You attempt to eat a real breakfast this morning, choosing not to look out the window to avoid anymore emotional turmoil like yesterday. As you head out you realize his car still isn’t back and you begin to worry. You bite the bullet and reach for your phone to text him.

You

danny are you okay? im worried

The purple reminder still glows above your keyboard letting you know his notifications are silenced. You walk to your car and head to work. The silent drives are starting to become a routine, granted not one you necessarily prefer, but it seems like every song will remind you of Danny. You don’t want to ruin your day with negativity or dead-end narratives. If he wanted to talk to you, he would, and there’s evidently people who do want to talk to you. Ever since you started driving silently, you’ve noticed you get places a lot quicker, but still can’t tell if it’s pure coincidence or what. You sit in the parking lot with 5 minutes to spare so you check Tinder. Seven more matches pop up, all some variation of a tall man with shoulder length curly hair. You scroll to find an unopened message from Luke.

Luke

Hey gorgeous gal

You

heyyy

Luke

Still on for tonight?😉

You

yeah!

For the first time in a week a pet name made your skin crawl. Luke’s term of endearment was unsettling for some unbeknownst reason, whereas Danny’s always made you feel on top of the world. It feels almost wrong to be talking to someone this way and you start to wonder, is fucking someone else is even going to help you move past Danny.

Your work day is relatively uneventful. Laura bought pizza for lunch so you stayed at the daycare instead of finding somewhere to run to. You sit with Laura in her office and she takes the time to get to know you better. She feels like someone you can trust, her aura almost motherly. Apparently, the Danny situation is taking a bigger toll on you than you thought, because Laura asks you again about your “boyfriend.”

“Is everything okay? Y’know I wasn’t gonna say anything, but he did call this morning.” Laura tilts her head and pitches the statement up at the end.

“It’s really complicated. What did he say?” You rolled your eyes.

“He just wanted to make sure you got to work okay this morning. Asked what time you got off.”

You start to think why’d he call this morning and not yesterday until it dawns on you. He wasn’t home this morning, but he was yesterday, meaning he watched you leave for work to make sure you’d be on time. The feeling of him still caring while pretending you didn’t exist is a confusing one. He still hasn’t answered your texts or come by the house to talk, but yet again he called the daycare for information on your whereabouts.

At the conclusion of your work day, you drive home and again still no sign of Danny. You don’t know why you’re hoping for him to be there when you get back everyday as if it’ll actually change anything. You run inside to clean up the mess you’ve let accumulate over the last few days and decide to take an everything shower. You let the hot water beat on your body until it’s red before you start any form of self care. You wash your hair for the first time in days, rubbing a deep conditioner into the ends before clipping it up to be rinsed out later. You shave your armpits, your legs, and get into the grueling task of shaving your bikini area. Usually you’d get a brazilian, but you hadn’t taken the time to find a salon in your new hometown. The hair wasn’t long enough for a wax before you left home, and you never anticipated being sexually active so suddenly. After the painfully long task of shaving your entire body, you use an exfoliating body scrub. Part of you feels bad for not going all out for Danny like this, but you really didn’t know you’d have sex with him, otherwise you would have.

Sex with Danny is the last thing you should have imagined as you find your hand resting at your core while washing yourself. The urge to slide a finger or two in grows stronger the more you think about the way he fucks. You find no harm in gliding your fingers over your clit, after all you’re not confident Luke will make you cum anyways. A few brushes over your sensitive bud have you aching for more, you remove the shower head and adjust yourself at the bottom of the tub. You situate your legs so you’re comfortable and run two fingers through your slick. You click the water pressure into the jet setting and aim it to beat down on your clit as you slip two fingers past your entrance. You curl your fingers inside the best you can but you can’t help to think about how much better Danny is at it, wishing the water pounding down on your clit was his undeniably skilled mouth. Flashbacks from two nights ago have you nearing your release a lot sooner than anticipated. Your orgasm creeping up out of nowhere, you writhe under your own touch as you cum all over your fingers. You use the shower head to rinse your release from your fingers and throbbing core before sitting up slowly, knowing if you sit up too fast you’ll get dizzy. Once you feel okay enough, you stand up and return the shower head to it’s place and turn the water off. You finish getting ready around 7:45, you check for messages from Luke, the only one saying he was on his way. You’re wearing a black and white plaid skirt with a slightly oversized crew neck over a white tee. You would have worn your notorious black dress, but you never did laundry after your date with Danny and it reaked of sweat and spilled alcohol. You wanted something with easy access so you didn’t have to take the time to get fully undressed. You light a cherry blossom scented candle and shuffle a random person’s sex playlist from Spotify on the tv.

You hear a knock on the door, so you make your way over to check who it is. There’s a surprisingly shorter than you expected man standing on the other side, but he looks just like Luke. You hesitantly open the door and he greats you with an unsettling smile. Out of habit, your eyes shoot up to see if Danny’s home, and you notice both of his vehicles are in his driveway. You also take note that the only car in your driveway is your own. This is the second red flag of Luke’s as he told you he had an Equinox that he recently finished paying off, the first being his height listed as 6’2 on his dating profile. He pushes past you and welcomes himself into your home, 3rd red flag, but you figure he’s just a quick fuck anyways. You coherse him over to the couch and he wastes no time reaching his hands onto your body. You start to touch him back, leaning in for a kiss in attempts to get to know his body better. He starts to get rough as he makes his way ontop of you, taking the only control you had away.

“Can you be gentle?” You scoff.

“You think I care about how a whore like you feels?” He presses his weight into you and leaves sloppy kisses across your neck.

“Dude, get the fuck off of me!” You instantly regret everything leading you up to this moment.

“I thought you wanted to hook up? Did you think I was gonna take care of you? I don’t give a fuck.” He reaches one hand down to free himself as you try to wiggle away from underneath his weight.

You manage to move your knees between the two of you as you start to push him away.

“GET OFF OF ME! GET. OFF. OR I’LL FUCKING HURT YOU!” You squeeze your lips shut at your threat, afraid of what he’ll do next.

An angry look paints over his face as he pulls his arm back as if to hit you, and by the grace of god your front door flies open.

“Get the fuck off my girl or I’ll fucking kill you.” The familiar voice spoke low but you immediately recognize it to be Danny.

“And who are you, shit bag? Your little whore girlfriend clearly doesn’t give a fuck.” Luke was really about to start something you knew he couldn’t finish.

“Oh, did- did you wanna find out?” Danny has a sarcastic confused look on his face as he approaches the semi-exposed man infront of you.

Danny grips up Luke by his shirt and pins him against the wall, the sleeves of his shirt tight against his muscles.

“I’ll give you 5 fucking seconds to put that little thing away before I do something about it.” Danny’s facial expression is straight with the angriest eyes you’ve ever seen him wear.

Luke shuffles to zip up his pants, barely able to grasp the zipper from his uncontrollable shaking.

“Good boy, now I think we need to take care of your little attitude problem.” He was talking to Luke like a dog.

Danny releases his left hand from Luke’s shirt and brings his fist as far back as it’ll go before decking him square in the face.

“That’s for thinking you could touch my girl.” The scene is oddly familiar to what took place in the bathroom a mere two days ago, but much, much less sexual in nature. You were surprised Danny didn’t make him count the contact…

Danny lets his other hand fall, giving Luke a chance to defend himself as Danny winds his left arm back again. Luke tries to throw a punch but Danny blocks it, making a solid punch to his stomach.

“That is for calling me a shit bag, y’know at least I have the common decency to leave a lady alone when she asks.” Danny shoots a glare over to you, one you’re sure you’ll pay for later.

He brings his arm back one last time before making contact with Luke’s face again.

“And that one is for calling such a fine girl a whore. Have some decorum, you piece of shit.”

Luke falls to the floor and scrambles for the front door. He already had a ride waiting outside, making you wonder what the hell he was planning.

“Now you,” Danny walks over to you sitting on the couch, shaking in your spot. “Did he hurt you? Are you okay? Because I’ll ki-”

“Yes, I’m okay. Really, I am. Thanks to you, I am.” You grab hold of Danny’s hands, widening your eyes at his bruised and bloody knuckles as a tear fall down your cheek, falling into his arms.

He wraps his arms around you and holds you close to his body the way he did the first time you hugged him.

“What the hell was my beautiful girl thinking?” He shakes his head back and forth.

“I didn’t think you were coming back. You kept ignoring me, and- and that pretty tall girl and-”

“What pretty tall girl?” He gently grabs your shoulders and pushes you away to make eye contact, tears streaming down your face.

“The one you brought home the other night. And you hugged her in the kitchen.”

“Okay, one, that’s my sister, Josie. Two, were you watching me again, creeper?” He lets out a little chuckle.

“I didn’t mean to, I just needed to know you were okay.”

“I was just fine, doll. Josie was coming here for a concert, so I let her stay at my place. She actually gave me some advice, that’s why I was even outside your door right then.” He locks eyes with you.

“Advice?”

“Yeah, to fix this. To fix us. Y/N, I have never felt so sure about someone in my life. But I love you, and I want to be with you no matter what it entails. I know you said you wanted to get to know each other better, and I’m willing to do that for you, granted I’m afraid there isn’t much left of me to learn.” He pauses for a reaction, but all he gets are more tears, to which he reaches his thumb up to wipe away. “But I can’t wait any longer. Will you be my girl?”

He finally said the words you’d been waiting to hear. You feel crazy for wanting this so bad, but you’ve also never been so sure about somebody before.

“I love you, too. I-I want to be with you, but I’m scared.”

“Of what? Of me?”

“No. I saw something the day we got lunch, but you weren’t answering me so I was waiting to bring it up.” Danny raises an eyebrow at you and you tell him about the text and show him the screenshot from Twitter.

“I promise it’ll be okay. The other three have partners, too. I promise nothing will ever happen to you again.” He leans in and kisses your forehead.

“If you promise, then yes. I’ll be yours forever.” You take in his warm embrace as you run your hand up his thigh and torso until it lands on his cheek.

You pull him in for a kiss, his lips perfectly slot between yours like a key to it’s lock.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He whines into your mouth.

“It’s been two days.” You giggle.

“Yeah, two days too many without my perfect girl right where I like her.” He places his hands on your hips and pulls you onto his lap.

You straddle his hips as the kisses grow more heated and his hands snake under your skirt and rub warm circles over your ass.

“You don’t have to do this, baby. You had a rough night.”

“Danny, I need it. I already, uh… nevermind.” You stopped yourself from sharing what happened in the shower.

“Nah, now you gotta tell me…” He smiles a wide smile with a little laugh.

“I masturbated to the thought of you in the shower.” You said it so fast, it came out like one giant word.

“As in while you were in the shower, or the thought of me taking one…?”

“A little bit of both?” You bite your bottom lip.

“Well, do you wanna?”

“Wanna what?”

“Fuck in the shower?” He shrugs his shoulders like it’s nothing.

“Actually?”

“Yes, actually.”

You nod yes as you crawl off of his lap, taking hold of his hand and dragging him behind you. You guys step into the bathroom and Danny reaches over to shut the blinds.

“Y’know I can see into here clear as day, right?” He points to the window.

“You can see inside…?” Your eyes grow wide.

“Yeah, I only looked the night you were watching me. I’m not used to this light being on over here so it immediately captured my attention.” Danny pulls his shirt over his head, his permanent necklace gently hitting his chest once the shirt’s removed.

You reach your hand up to his chest and run your fingers through the thick, dark hair covering it, tracing his muscles down to his happy trail. He let’s out a hushed hiss at the feeling of your cool fingertips across his warm skin. You break contact to start the shower so it can get warm before returning back to Danny. The two of you work on undressing each other, this is the first time you’ve gotten to see Danny naked in the light. It’s also the first time he’s gotten to see all of you in the light, too. He turns you around to look at yourself in the mirror, him standing tall behind you. He places a kiss to your shoulder, neck and then cheek as he reaches his arms under your grabbing a breast in each palm. He massages each one a couple of times before replaces his palms with his pointer and index finger, grabbing your nipples between them and rolling his fingers back and forth until your nipples are hard. He guides you into the shower, holding you against his chest, his back under the beating water. You take in his features as the water cascade down his body, watching his hair flatten just the way you had imagined. You move a hand up and push his soaked strands away from the edges of his face so you can see him better.

He dips his head down and takes one of your tender nipples into his mouth, playing with the other one between his fingers again. You moan at the sensation of his sucking as he trails his tongue down the center of your torso. He places his other hand back on the unoccupied breast as his tongue makes his way down to your needy core. Danny pushes you against the wall so you don’t fall back, slowly adjusting your legs over his shoulders, careful not to let you slip. Your fingers find their way tangled into his soaked hair as he slides two of his fingers inside of you. You gasp at the feeling you craved not so long ago.

“Fuck, you feel so good. I couldn’t do it like you.” You throw your head back into the shower wall making a thud.

“Is that so?” He mumbles into your pussy, digging his fingers deeper.

He curls them into the spongey tissue of your g spot, quickly bringing you to an orgasm. You shake under his touch, squeezing his head between your thighs.

“Careful, beautiful.” He slowly maneuvers your legs back to the ground and helps you stand up with him.

Danny leans against you, pressing your back into the cold wall once again. He begins to leave marks across your neck and breasts as your hands explore his body. You work down to his cock, running your hand up and down the shaft, getting him to moan into the heated flesh on your chest.

“I’m ready.” You tell him.

He reaches under one of your legs, pinning you into the wall with his weight presses against your chest. He places the hand under your leg flat onto the wall, leaving you exposed. Danny’s other hand comes down to rest his cock at your entrance. He places his free hand loosely around your neck and leans in for a deep kiss as he slides himself inside. You whimper into his mouth as he slowly stretches you out.

“My god, you feel so fucking good on me.” He grunts with each thrust.

He releases his hand from your neck and positions his fingers against your clit, eager to make you cum again. He pulls back until his tip is barely at your entrance before pounding into you as he rubs hard slow circles on your bud. He continues this motion until he feels you tighten around him again.

“C’mon, baby, that’s it.” He feels you getting tighter and wetter as you brink a second orgasm. “Cum on my cock, darling. Show me how much you missed me.”

His words send you into a frenzy, pushing you over the edge as you cry out his name. You cry so loud you can hear it bounce off the walls and echo back over the water hitting the floor of the tub. He continues slowly thrusting for several minutes chasing his own high. Your body feels like jello from your orgasms, leaving you laying ragdoll in his arms, head resting in the space between his neck and shoulder. Each thrust into you earns Danny a sweet moan right in his ear.

“Where do you want it?” He hastily asks, hips faltering.

“Let me taste you.” You whisper into his ear.

He gently lets your leg down and you fall to your knees, head against the wall as you guide him towards your mouth.

“Fuck my mouth how you fuck my pussy.”

“You sure…?”

You nod yes and push his length past your lips. He places his hands on either side of your face as he fucks your throat. You stick your tongue out allowing him to go deeper. He looks down at you and you look up as he lets a string of spit drip past his plush lips onto his cock, getting it more wet to slide in and out easier. Danny places his forehead against the shower wall, his grip on your face gets stronger and your hands shoot up to feel the muscles in his abdomen twitch and tighten as he spills his seed down the back of your throat. Only when you start to gag does he remove himself from your mouth, pulling you back to your feet by your head. He presses his lips into yours, tasting himself on your mouth as he swirls his tongue around inside. Finally pulling away, he reaches for the shampoo bottle, pouring some into his large palm before working it into your scalp. You didn’t care about how dry your hair might be since you already washed it today, you only cared about the feeling of him taking care of you. He catches you staring at him again with big eyes, slowing his lathering at the back of your head, Danny pulls you into his chest before continuing to massage your scalp.

“Please don’t ever do something that stupid again.” You hear his deep voice echo through his chest accompanied by the slow beat of his heart.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I get it. I should be sorry for making you feel that way.” He pauses for a second. “Like I didn’t care about you. Because I worried about you the entire time.” He spins you around to wash the suds out of your hair, running his fingers from your scalp to the ends until all of the soap is gone.

“Yeah, but I could have picked better words, or a better place, I don’t know.”

“You don’t need to know, it’s in the past. All that matters to me is that you’re okay. Y’know I’m really glad I showed up when I did, I don’t wanna think about what I would have done if you got hurt.” He kisses your forehead.

You finish washing one another, taking turns stepping out from under the warm water, using this time to soak in each other’s presence. Once you’re finished, you grab a towel for Danny from the little shelf across from the tub and you grab yours from the back of the door. You head to your room in attempts to find something of yours he might fit. You pull out an oversized crew neck from the college you never actually attended, and a pair of sweatpants you never wore. He slips on the clothes you gave him and you dress yourself in just underwear and a big shirt. You lay down in your bed and Danny stands at the door way as if he’s going to leave.

“Wait, come sleep with me?” You reach your arms out to him.

He strides over to your bed and falls into your arms, making you giggle as his damp curls tickle your neck. He lays his head on your chest, torso snug in your side as he wraps his arms around you as much as he can. You rest one hand on his back and the other on his head, rubbing his scalp.

“Mmm” A small whimper leaves his lips as he starts to drift off.

“I love you, Danny. So much more than you know, I love you.” You whisper quietly, but he’s already snoring.

You lay awake under the heat of his sleeping body, tracing shapes and letters across his back with your finger tips until you finally fall asleep, the beat of his heart acting as your favorite lullaby.

part 4

[gretavangroupie]

The Ripe and The Ruin - (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 14.3k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Unwelcome Advances, Kissing.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

JAKE POV

You absentmindedly swirl the skinny black straw around in your glass, scoffing to yourself as you wonder why the bartender put a stirrer into your Whiskey in the first place. It didn’t need to be stirred. You took it straight. It was fine on its own. Regardless, you sipped around the straw, letting the oaky liquor trickle down the back of your throat.

It wasn’t that you hated flying. It was more that you hated being alone with your thoughts for extended periods of time. Only your phone or a book to occupy your brain, but you knew that only worked for so long. Eventually you’d be left alone to tumble down into those dark, dusty memories that would torment you until you touched down in whatever city you were slated to be in that day. 

You hear Josh’s voice, instinctively causing you to turn your head, watching as he and Daniel stand in front of the camera recording whatever video the social media team planned for the day. You gracefully bowed out of that process all together, the team knowing not to approach you about an idea unless they knew it was something you would agree to. Usually though, it wasn’t. You turn to look at Sam on your right, seeing his gaze fixed upon the two of them. Both of you were now watching them as they played along with the skit, a huff of secondhand embarrassment sizzling through you as you sip from your glass. You’d never be caught dead doing that.

Fools. How is anyone ever supposed to take us seriously if all we show them is this? 

“You ready for another few months of this shit?” you mumble, your lips barely parting from the edge of your glass. 

Sam snickers as he turns back to you. “No. But that’s the job isn’t it?” he answers, swallowing down a gulp of beer, turning to look at you.

“I’m hitting that wall, too.” you answer, meeting the eyes of his girlfriend, Lyla. She sends you a sympathetic look as she squeezes Sam’s arm, giving him the little bit of reassurance he needs. “S’been a shit few weeks.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, instead pursing his lips together and slowly nodding his head as he peers down into his empty glass. Everyone knows better than to indulge you in your misery at this point, vowing not to pick at the festering wound. It’s still fresh and you’re still too volatile.

“Well, we’re going to your happy place, right?” Lyla asks with a hopeful smile. 

“Yeah, yeah we are,” you answer, taking another long pull of Whiskey. It was clear she didn’t know the reason it made you happy in the first place was because of the memories you made there with the person no longer around.

You turn your head ready to fall into those memories you’ve been pushing away for weeks, but fate has other plans as you spot your production team walking towards the boarding gate. They look frantic as they talk to each other, their eyes flicking up and down from their phones in their hands. Paul, your band Manager leads the group, finally slipping his phone into his pocket as he spots the gate. Next to him is Corrine, the Production Manager talking on the phone, balancing it between her ear and shoulder as she follows Paul. Wes, the Tour Manager continues to talk to Paul as they step into the waiting area, but behind him is someone you don’t recognize. 

She’s looking down at her phone, unaware that Wes has come to an abrupt stop in front of her. She runs into him just enough that it gets his attention, a profuse apology falling from her mouth. You laugh a little at the exchange, wondering who this girl is, and why she is with your team. She’s dressed like the rest of them, casual, but still comfortable for a day of travel. A slouchy white long sleeve shirt, a little too thin for the cold January weather, a brown leather backpack, worn and well loved, and a pair of olive green pants that hug her ass just a little too well for 10AM on a Thursday morning. You find yourself unable to pull your eyes away from her, a magnetizing feeling sucking you in the longer you look at her. She laughs with Wes, a bright smile lighting up her face causing an unwelcome twinge in your chest. It’s when she fully turns though, allowing you to see her whole face through the curtain of tousled waves, that you find yourself needing to know who she is. 

You swallow nervously, licking your bottom lip as you turn to Sam. “Who uh, who’s that?” you ask, nodding towards the group. “With Paul, Wes, and Corri?”

Sam turns around in his barstool, looking across the busy walkway to the group standing at the gate. “Oh, um…” he pauses, assessing the situation. “She’s with Paul, so that must be our new runner.”

“What happened to Lucy?” you ask, letting your eyes drift back to the mystery girl. 

“She got engaged and moved to Scotland or some shit, I don’t remember. Ask Josh,” he laughs. 

You hum, trying to remember the email thread where Paul’s new assistant was approved. What was her name…

“You know her name?” Lyla asks, looking at Sam.

Yes, Lyla. Yes. 

“Um, I think it’s….Y/N. Yeah, yeah, Y/N,” he answers confidently, snapping his fingers as he speaks. 

“So she’s the new Lucy…” you hum, flipping your sunglasses down over your eyes. 

“Guess so. We’ll see if she can hack it,” he laughs, sliding his card to the bartender. 

You turn back to look at her, this time your eyes concealed. She is rocking back and forth on her feet, looking around as she hugs her arms across her chest. She seems nervous, pushing her hair behind her ears every few minutes. You’re positively taken by her, unable to peel your eyes away from her every move. You can’t help but study her, and you briefly wonder if it's the alcohol rushing through your brain that has you so focused on her.

The gate agents’ voice blaring through the intercom system snaps you from your thoughts, announcing that your flight was ready to begin boarding. You look to Sam, who is signing the check, and nod your head in silent agreement that you should head over. You toss back the rest of your Whiskey, letting out a sigh as it warms your chest. You grab your black leather backpack and sling it over your shoulders, straightening out your shirt before following Sam across the walkway to the gate. With your glasses still down, you step into the waiting area, watching people line up around you. 

Josh, Ty, Mia, and Daniel appear behind you, startling you a bit as you fumble around in your pocket for your boarding pass. Their conversation is loud and grating, but you tune them out. You check your seat assignment as you move forward in the line, repeating it in your head over and over so you don’t forget it. You try not to pay attention to the pretty mystery girl five people ahead of you, but you just can’t seem to take your eyes off of her. You watch her disappear down the jet bridge as she talks to Paul, and before you can even register it, it’s your turn and the gate agent is scanning your ticket. She sends you on your way with a smile, and as you make the long walk to the plane you wonder if the girl in the green pants is going to make this tour just a little bit more interesting. 

—

HER POV

3E. 3E. 3E.

Your eyes scan the row of numbers at the top of the cabin, finally catching sight of your assigned seat. You slide into the aisle seat, tossing your backpack to the floor as you let out a sigh of relief. You made it in one piece. You weren’t late, and everyone seemed to like you so far. 

You take a look around you, admiring the plush seats and ample legroom. You’d never flown first class before. You felt a little out of place as you looked at the people around you. Thankfully it was filled with team members you knew, and the band members and their partners, but still you knew you didn’t belong up here. You kicked your bag beneath the seat in front of you, pulling your shirt sleeves over your hands before reaching up to adjust the air vents that were blowing far too hard. A small shiver left your body as you spun the vents closed, sitting back comfortably in your seat as you waited to see who your seat partner would be. 

Your phone buzzed on your lap, a text from your best friend lighting up your screen. 

Ruth

10:57am: How many hours is the flight again?

You smile as you quickly text back, running the numbers in your head.

You

10:58am: I don’t know, like 7 or 8 hours? You’ll be fine. Read a book or something. I’ll text you when I get there. But it will be late…or early? I think? There is a big time difference.

Ruth

10:59am: Ok, be careful.

You lock your phone and shove it under your leg, your eyes darting to the aisle as more people pass you on their way to their seats. You couldn’t believe your first leg of tour with them was taking you across Europe, allowing you to see places you’d only dreamed about. It wasn’t the job you were worried about, you could do that in your sleep. It was the uncertainty of being in another country with people you didn’t really know. 

Getting to know the bands you worked for was a precarious thing. Always walking the thin line between friend and employee. You knew your place though, and you knew where that boundary lied. Your eyes refocus as someone stops in front of you, dropping their hands. As you look up you see Jake, one of the band members staring back at you.

“I’m…right there,” he says, gently pointing to the seat next to you. 

“Oh, right here?” you ask, genuinely curious how you were seated next to a band member and not with a crew member.

“3F? That’s what this says…” he asks, checking his boarding pass. You nod and stand, letting him slide into the seat. He drops his leather backpack to the ground with a thud, letting out a sigh of relief, much in the same way you had. 

You resettle in your own seat, buckling your seatbelt and pulling it tight across your lap. Your heart is still pounding as you try to calm your nerves, suddenly feeling put on the spot next to your boss. Or– your boss's boss. Shit.

You realize that you know practically nothing about this band, about its members, and really even much of their music beyond their hits. You planned to spend most of this flight acquainting yourself with them, learning their likes and dislikes before making a fool out of yourself in front of them in the green room. You don’t know if you should speak to him, and truthfully you’re a little hesitant since that day at the office, catching him and Josh in an argument. 

You didn’t even know they would be there as you went in to sign your paperwork, but to your surprise they were, standing in the middle of the office playing around on instruments and talking. You made a beeline straight for the management office, mostly unseen, and quickly signed your paperwork. Paul went over some of the timelines and the things you would be responsible for as you took detailed notes on your phone, not wanting to miss a single thing. 

Though, all of that came to a screeching halt as the sound of a chair skidding forcefully across the concrete floors pulled you both from your conversation. From your seat you watched through the small office door as two men moved towards each other, while two more intervened to break up whatever was about to happen. 

You then learned from Paul that the two people that were arguing were the twins, Jake and Josh, and that the other two were their younger brother Sam, and their honorary brother Daniel. You observed in shock as the two of them shouted profanities at each other from either side of the piano, both red faced and worked up over something. 

Paul quickly walked you out the front door with an apology and a laugh, and that was the last you saw of the band and its members, until today.

Out of the corner of your eye, you try to get a good look at him without him noticing. First impressions have always been a big deal to you, and since your first impression of him was nothing short of off-putting, you decide to try again. Give him the benefit of the doubt. 

Worn-in black pants, cuffed at the ankle, a wrinkled beige button up that only conceals half his torso, a thick dark navy overcoat, and a stack of heavy silver necklaces. Oh, and blue-tinted sunglasses. His cologne… now that will be sticking around in your mind for a while. Clean, woodsy, a hint of musk but still kind of sweet.

You hear him clear his throat as he fidgets with his things, putting them all in their places as he finally settles into his seat. He reaches down into his black leather bag that appears to be well-loved, and pulls out a set of wired earbuds. They’re tangled and bunched, and you can’t help but smirk as you watch him try to untangle them. His fingers pull through the twisted white wires, and before you can offer your help, he reluctantly tosses them back down on top of his unzipped bag. “Fuck it,” you hear him mumble under his breath. He huffs again and leans back, tapping his fingers anxiously on his arm rests. 

You let yourself drift back into your own thought as the plane takes off, going over the hundreds of miniscule things you know you’ll have to accomplish as soon as the plane lands. It’s quiet in first class, something you aren't used to with flying on the regular. The peacefulness that comes along with the drone of the plane and the light conversation between everyone is almost enough to help you relax a little, if not for the damned cool air still blowing through the vent above you. 

You shiver a little, cuffing your hands over the ends of your shirt to pull it in more closely to your body. Why you had chosen to forgo a heavier jacket in the middle of winter, you truly don’t know. You decide to distract yourself a little, pulling up the string of endless emails that lie in waiting on your phone, getting a nice head-start on your duties before you have to hit the ground running. 

Jake has been sitting beside you quietly for about an hour now, alternating scrolling his phone every few minutes and looking out his window. The cloud cover is heavy, so being able to see even a glimpse of the ocean below you is a lost cause. You listen as he sighs, crossing one of his legs over the other and folding his hands in his lap. 

Should you strike up conversation? No, he probably doesn’t care to speak to you. But is it rude not to? You’ve already been sitting here for over an hour…

Just as you decide to open your mouth to speak, the plane hits turbulence. The cabin shakes and rumbles, and you can feel your stomach fall. Your hands grip the arm rests with white knuckles as the plane passes through, your eyes gripping shut as tightly as your palms on the arm rests. 

Finally, after what feels like forever the plane evens out again, and you hear the pilot come over the intercom to apologize. You finally let the breath you were holding free from your lungs, and you open your eyes to see Jake with his head leaned low in front of you. 

“You okay?” he asks, an eyebrow cocked. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just…don’t really enjoy this part much.” you admit, running your sweaty palms over your pants. 

He sits back in his seat once he notices your calmness return. “Me neither, to be honest. No matter how many times you hit turbulence on a plane, you never get used to it. I don’t care what people say.” he says with a sweet smile. You can tell that he was coming down from an anxious episode just the same as you. 

“No joke…” you agree, suddenly wanting a drink even if it was before noon. You push the tiny hairs away from your face as you regain a hold on your bearings, picking up right where you had left off before the turbulent air sent you into a spiral of doom. “I–I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself before, my name’s–”

“Y/N.” he cut in, extending the tips of his fingers out to offer you a friendly handshake. 

You let your hand slowly come up to meet his, suddenly uncaring that it was probably still clammy. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you.” 

For the five seconds your bodies connect, and the even shorter few seconds that his honey brown eyes meet yours, you feel like you were worried for nothing. This guy is nice. Maybe he’ll be easier to talk to than you thought…

His hand disconnects and flies to his chest. “I’m Jake.”

You nod. Of course you already know his name. “Yeah, um…guitar. Right?”

He smiles harder this time. “Yup. That’s my forte, at least. Have you um, ever been to Europe?” He brushes his hand over his nose a few times as his eyes dart back and forth from the seat behind you and back to your face, unable to hold eye contact. Is he nervous?

You turn your body a little more toward him. “No, actually. This is my first time. But I hear good things…”

“Oh shit, you’re gonna love it. Especially this time of year. Things move pretty fast when we get there, but we always try to explore as much as possible. See some sights.” You can tell that he’s truly excited about this excursion, and to be completely honest, you found yourself wanting to hang on his every word. 

“Anything in particular?” you press, wanting to hear the gritty rich sound of his voice again. 

You let him talk on and on about the places he wants to see, and the places that they had already been, even bringing up a few older photos on his phone as he describes their past trips. You try not to look as he scrolls, but his camera roll is full of tons of scenic photos and videos, landscapes, mountains, waterfronts… and of course a few rogue photos of guitars and guitar parts. You wonder if he’s planning to make little vlogs. 

“Italy is my favorite, I think. So much history there. I could’ve stayed for six months if they’d have let me.” Your shoulders are pressed up against each others’ now as you watch his thumb glide over the multitude of media, speeding through the less important ones to get to his favorites. Strange of him to trust a stranger this much to watch him scroll his personal camera roll. He obviously doesn’t have much to hide, even if this is crossing that boundary line…

“The people are great, the food is great, the wine, oh god, don’t get me started on the wine…” he chuckles, and you feel yourself bumping your shoulder against his a little as you laugh along with him. “The terroir is fuckin’ phenomenal, obviously. It’s like a different world.”

“I like a moscato every now and then.” You add, trying to throw in your two cents on your crumbs of wine knowledge. 

He returns with a scrunched nose. “Hmm, a bit sweet for my taste…So, Y/N. What’s your story, how’d you end up with us?” he asks, switching to cross his other leg over, now. 

You swallow, unsure of how to explain years’ worth of ups and downs you’d gone through to a rockstar. Your boss. You decide to keep it short and sweet, he didn’t need to know everything. 

“Well, I spent my entire youth attending a small private school and private high school, so I came up quite the determined and disciplined kid. Kinda sheltered.” You turn again in your seat, tucking one leg up underneath you. “But, I ended up moving away from home and away from family, been in this business for almost, eh, six years now?” You go on, and he listens intently. “Guess you could say I’m a pro at making things happen out of thin air.” You give him a long wink as you snap your fingers together. 

His eyebrows shoot up, and he finally gives you a hundred-watt smile. My god, he’s…

“A-ha, so you got all the good hookups, huh?” He asks, running his fingers over his chin as his cheeks turn the palest shade of pink. 

“S’what the runner does, isn’t it?” You pull your eyes back down to your lap. “Get you everything you need, right when you need it?” 

You bring your eyes back up to his and watch as he swallows hard, his mouth hanging open for just a split second before he catches himself. “Yeah, ehm, I suppose it is. We’re not too bossy, though. Josh can be, but.”

“So I’ve heard, he’s kind of a…diva?” You hadn’t done too much research on them, honestly. You hadn’t had the time. But, what few tiktoks and musics videos you had managed to see were fairly telling of their personalities. 

“He is. He is.” Jake laughs. “Don't let him fool you, though. He’s a big softie with an attitude problem. We all kind of are, honestly.”

“You’re a softie?” You press with a teasing tone. “From the few videos I’ve seen of you playing guitar, you look a little intimidating…” 

“Me? Intimidating?” He clicks his tongue. “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet, Y/N. It’s dangerous…” he growls the last word, and you can feel your insides ripping themselves apart just at the sound of his voice. You have to pull back, now. 

“All the runners we’ve ever had did extensive research on us before they came on tour, did you not do that?” he inquires, throwing you off a bit. 

You don’t really know how to answer, so you tell the truth. “Honestly Jake, no, I didn’t. I’ve toured with a few other bands in my career, and I did that. I researched them, learned all things I thought I needed to know so I didn’t go in blind. And, this time around, I did a little bit, but I kind of wanted to meet you all for myself. Get my own versions of you.” 

“Hm.” He responds with an understanding nod. “Well, you’ll be the first.” 

“Speaking of,” you go on, candidly glancing around the cabin and deciding to go ahead and ask the question that’s been nagging you. “Everyone else is seated with someone, wonder why I’m not with the rest of the team.” 

“What, you don’t wanna sit by me, Y/N?” he asks with a shred of a grin. 

“No no, it’s not that.” you laugh. “Just—“

“Normally I have someone with me, but…we’ve recently…gone our separate ways, I suppose.” He trips over the words a little, stammering through them like it was the first time he’d admitted it. 

“Oh… I see.” you pause, “That’s…never an easy thing.” 

I wonder if that was why he was so snippy that day at the office when you saw him fall off his rocker? 

“Eh, s’alright. Win some, lose some. We had a good run.” He says as he waves off the question. “So, you say you’ve been doing this awhile, you must really miss whoever you’re leaving at home.” 

Skating around the question, aren’t you, Jake?

“No, I’m single, if that’s what you’re asking.” You bite your lip as he doesn’t stop you from elaborating further. “I’m pretty independent, I like structure and uniformity. Growing up I wasn’t allowed much time on my own to have hobbies outside of school and practice. Strict parents. The job has kept me pretty adhered to that mindset, even in my personal life, so.” 

His eyes flick to yours and he squints them a little, as if he’s collecting every single one of your words and hanging them in a closet in his mind. He’s trying his best to figure you out, you can see it on his face. But why? He shouldn’t care…you don’t matter. 

“I can respect that.” He nods again. “My brothers and I, we grew up in a fairly religious household. Was great, don’t get me wrong. Really formed our roots but, as we got older and started to see the world, we kinda got away from it. Began to start seeing things in a different perspective.” He sucks his teeth, as if he’s recounting a hard memory. “Kinda why we moved to Nashville. We knew we had to break away if we wanted the band to be successful.”

You nod in understanding. “I mean, it worked, didn’t it?”

His laugh fills the cabin as it bounces off the walls, a sweet chuckle that makes your heart rate pick up. You could listen to him laugh all day long. 

“S’pose it did.”

“The fuck are you two over here laughing at, huh?” Suddenly Josh’s curls are squished between your seats, his cheeks pinched together as he speaks. “I’m trying to get some shut-eye but I can’t from all the babbling—”

Jake places his hand over entirety of his twin’s face, pressing him through and back into his own seat. “None of your business, fuck off.”

You laugh at their antics, knowing in the back of your mind that you had better get used to it. You feel the air kick on again, fiercely blowing the freezing cold air directly onto you. You shiver a little, balling yourself up and pulling your sleeves closely in toward you again. 

“You want my jacket?” Jake asks, already starting to pull it from his shoulders. 

“No! No no no, thank you, but I’m fine, really.” The last thing you need is that right off that bat. A bad look. Day one. Nope. 

“Seriously, I run naturally hot. Take it.” He replies. 

“Oh yeah? Hence all your layers?” You tease, repositioning in your seat. 

“It’s a fashion statement, thank you very much.” He bites. “All about comfort for me.”

Gotta change the subject. 

“So tell me something I should know about your brothers. Something that would give me brownie points if I wanted to say…impress them with my craft service skills…” you press, giving him a new challenge. 

“Wow um, let’s see…” he brings his fingers to his chin and thinks hard, and you can’t help but feel endeared by the fact that he truly wants to help you out. “Josh stays away from chocolate and dairy and sweets and all that, but his guilty pleasure is those cotton candy flavored grapes. Weird, I know.”

“Oh my god, those are so nasty!” you laugh, but still take note. 

“Danny would be over the moon if you surprised him with salsa verde Doritos, and Sam drinks kombucha more than the normal human should.” he finishes with a stern nod.

“Got it. I think I can make most of that happen, aside from the grapes…” 

“He would kiss you right on the lips, I’m telling you.” Jake giggles again, and you notice how he lights up when he talks about them. 

“So Josh is the dramatic softie, what about the other two?” you ask. 

“Sam’s kinda serious but he’s playful when he wants to be. Sneaky, too. Daniel’s always into something, always busy. Man doesn’t like to sit still,” he concludes, and you commit it all. 

“And what about you?” you ask, feeling your stomach flip for some reason. 

“I thought you said you wanted to get your own versions of us,” he quipped back, parroting your words from earlier. Damn, you had said that.

You toss your hair behind your shoulder. “I did but…You’ll tell me all about them, but not about yourself?”

He crunches his lips together as his eyes scan your face. It makes you a little uncomfortable, how hard he’s really looking at you, but you let him. Stopping him would be a sin you weren’t ready to commit just yet. 

“That’s right.”

The two of you drift off into silence again as the minutes tick by, thankfully not being embarrassingly interrupted by Josh anymore. You decide that you want to listen to some music, so you reach into the pocket of your bag and pull out your AirPods, slipping the left one in first followed by the right. You pull up your music and begin flipping through your playlists, searching for something to match the relaxed tone of the hour. Truly, you feel like you could easily drift off to sleep. 

You find a nice quiet playlist and curl up in your seat, halfway reluctant you didn’t take Jake’s jacket, but also proud of yourself for saying no. You’re fucking freezing. 

You turn your head to the side and close your eyes, ready to drift off into another world. 

You’re jolted awake by turbulence, the plane shaking again as you wake up and get your bearings. “Shit,” you breathe as you sit up straighter, remembering exactly where you are. You notice that in your slumber, your head had fallen against Jake’s shoulder. Fuck. Fuck fuck.

The turbulence only lasts a few seconds before it evens out again, and the calmness returns to your body. You glance at Jake, seeing him looking a little drowsy and shaken, too.

“Jake, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, why didn’t you wake me? I—”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I kinda dozed off, too,” he replies, stretching his arms high above his head without a care…not like he didn’t just have a stranger asleep with her head on his shoulder.

You look down, noticing that in the time you had drifted off, Jake had covered you with his coat. 

You panic, scrambling a little as you work to pull it from your body before anyone notices. 

His hands are quickly on yours, stopping your action. “Leave it, Y/N. You were shivering in your sleep…you can’t tell me you aren’t cozy right now…” his voice is barely a whisper, and the warmth of his hands grazing overtop of yours, even for a second, is enough to give you a whole other type of chill. 

“Yeah, I—I am warm…” you can’t deny that your body temperature has increased by at least a couple of degrees, and your fingers don’t feel like they’re going to get frostbite anymore. The jacket is heavy, heavier than it looks, and it smells like fresh pine needles and woodsy body soap. Just like…him?

“See?” he growls, backing away. “Just stay put.” 

Stay put? You want to bite back with something that will put him in his place; you explicitly told him you didn’t want his jacket, and he covered you anyway. While you were unconscious. While you couldn’t turn down the offer. 

…But you’re so warm, now. Your tense muscles are finally relaxing. The frigidity of the space has suddenly turned into a toasty furnace with a crackling fire.

Okay, but just until we land…

“What are you listening to?” Jake asks as he stretches again. You turn your phone for him to see, showing a generic playlist of Peaceful Sleep Songs lighting up your lock screen. 

“Agh, no, what is that shit?” Jake snatches your phone from your hand, quickly flipping the screen to unlock with your face before he begins shuffling through your playlists. 

“What are you doing?!” you yelp, reaching for your phone back. He raises his free hand to the air, stopping you from taking it. 

“Aht aht… I’m finding you something better to listen to. Don’t worry about it.” You suddenly hear the quiet music in your ears switch to something else, something you knew for a fact you hadn’t ever heard before. You give it a second as he turns the volume up a few notches, and you realize that it is most definitely brand new to you. 

It’s a solemn, tense-feeling piano beat, followed in by guitar. Lyrics only come in after a minute and a half or so. It sounds like growling, deep and hollow and a bit scary, but beautiful nonetheless. He’s watching your face as you experience it, quickly pressing pause as the song comes to a close. 

“What was that?” you ask, realizing you had really enjoyed it. 

“That was a song called Intro, by Alt-J. I know you’ve heard of Alt-J.” he says as he goes back to work on the phone. 

You slowly shake your head from side to side. “Can’t say I have, actually.” 

His jaw goes slack as his eyebrows raise in disbelief. “What? Like, never?” 

You feel your cheeks turning pink at the thought of a literal rockstar calling you out on your lack of music knowledge. 

“I don’t think so! That’s not what I normally listen to…don’t judge me,” you laugh, reaching for your phone again. 

He swats your hand away. “Ohh no, little fledgling. You’re listening to this. This is the good shit…” he presses play again as a twinkling high-pitched voice comes through your ears. It’s just jumbled words, no backing music or tune. The acapella strikes you as strange at first, until the end when it changes tone a bit, and it’s almost as if the lyrics are giving you advice you didn’t ask for. Warning you of something new and exhilarating, or better yet, dangerous and foreboding. It almost feels as if a black cloud has overcome you, only for a split second, letting you feel the nonexistent pokes and pinches that come along with the emotion of worry. 

The song flows directly into another now, one layered with a lot more sound, and it pulls you from that odd headspace the previous had put you in. You lean over the armrest, looking at the screen to see the title Tessellate. You’ve never heard anything like this kind of music before, and you wonder why Jake chose this particular artist. 

“This is one of their more popular ones, like radio popular, but it’s still one of my favorites on this album. Here in a second you’ll hear it slow down—”

You stop him by pulling your right earbud out, shoving it in his hand. “Shh, you can talk me through the songs later. Let me listen.”

He shuts his mouth, giving you a sweet grin as he takes the bud, placing it in his own ear and pressing play again. You continue on through the album, each song something brand new to you, a genre you’d really never delved into but wish you had, now. It’s enthralling, different, and full of sounds that make your mind sway and swim through mixtures of color and gray. 

You watch as Jake’s fingers tap along exactly with the beat of each song perfectly, down to a tee. The words don’t make much sense to you, and you can hardly distinguish what the singer is saying, but you know that Jake will give you a rundown of it all as soon as time allows him. You don’t know much about him, but his persistence is already apparent. You glance to see his eyelashes hitting his cheeks, his head barely bobbing side to side as he feels the music. You find yourself envious that he can draw inspiration and act on it, turning it into art of his own, whereas all you can do is sit back and listen to it.

Every couple of minutes he perks up from his meditation and adds new songs from their other albums onto the little playlist he’s started for you. You can’t quite make out what he’s titled it, but you can tell it's an emoji of some sort. His thumb flips and flies with precision across your screen as he scrolls and adds songs, and you have to admit, you’re a little excited to get your phone back and learn just what he’s creating for you. Especially for you.

You take a quick deep breath as you recenter yourself, catching your eyes drifting over his hand as he grips your phone. The veins in his hand roll over his knuckles, and you can just barely see the scuffed and calloused ends of his fingertips. Dial it the fuck back Y/N, remember the rules.

“Oooh, this is another one of my favorites,” he remarks, his mouth fairly close to your ear as he tries not to raise his voice over the volume of the music. He turns the screen a little so you can see the title, Taro. “You haven’t— You didn’t come to any of our shows last year by chance, did you?”

You feel a big pang of guilt shoot through your chest, remembering that you had actually been invited by some friends to see them way back when, but you’d turned the invitation down, not knowing who they even were at the time. You shake your head from side to side. “No, I didn’t.”

“This is one of the ones we play to the crowd before we go on. We all love it, it’s a sad, sad love tale based on true events. That’s the cool thing about this group, their lyrics are never really about what you think they are. They’re storytellers, a bit like Josh is, if you think about it. Their themes and over arcs are just…mind blowing sometimes.” Jake’s voice is a tiny murmur in your ear as your shoulders lean on one another’s again, still very taken with the music flowing through your ear. “We grab a lot of inspo from them, sonically and melodically…” You can feel his breath on your cheek, and you find yourself wondering what it would taste like…

“Here, read along with the lyrics. Try not to cry.” He hands your phone back, letting you keep up with the words floating down your screen. And he’s right, it’s heartbreaking without even knowing the context. 

“Wow…That was really beautiful,” you choke, realizing the depth of the story of the song. 

“Yep. Good shit, I told you.” He whips his hand around and takes the phone back as the next song comes in and warms your bones up again. You can feel the bare skin of his elbow brushing against yours, realizing that he was telling the truth about being naturally warm-bodied. Suddenly you don’t feel so bad about cuddling up under his coat. 

He opens your contacts app and adds himself, placing the sword emoji beside his name. He smirks as he hands the phone back. 

“Added your phone number, huh?” you ask rhetorically.

He sucks his teeth as he cracks his fingers. “Yep. How else will I let you know what I might need? Plus, never know when you might need to call me.”

—

You watch the signs overhead illuminate, a gentle tone ringing through the cabin as the Captain starts to make an announcement. You pause the song and pull your AirPod out, watching Jake do the same. 

“Hey folks, this is your Captain speaking. Just want to let you know we will be landing in Hamburg shortly. I’d expect to be on the ground in the next ten minutes or so, putting us about fifteen minutes ahead of schedule, so sit tight and we’ll have you on the ground in a few. Attendants please prepare for arrival.”

You turn to look at Jake, shrugging as you slide your AirPod back into the case. He raises his eyebrows and drops his jaw. “But we aren’t done! Wait! Hold on!”

He grabs your phone again, and from what you can see he is adding more songs to your playlist. You watch as he scrolls through various different albums by different artists, adding songs as quickly as he can. You smirk as you catch sight of the emoji he’s chosen, the chick icon, a playful nod at his earlier fledgling comment. He peeks over at you every few seconds, trying his best to hurry so you can pack up your things, but in a last effort you watch as he adds himself as a collaborator to the playlist. 

You raise an eyebrow to him as he hands your phone back to you, shrugging with a soft laugh. You feel your insides swirl at the sight of his smile, and you turn your eyes to your phone scrolling through the songs on the playlist. You turn back to him and nod, a silent agreement that you will listen just as you feel the plane starting to land. 

“I wanna keep adding songs for you to listen to, fledgling. If you want me to, of course…” 

You nod. “Of course I do. School away, Jake,” you reply with an air of playful annoyance.

He chuckles. “I plan to.”

As you brace for the landing you grip your hands into the arm rests, letting go of the soft worn in corduroy fabric you’d been playing with for the last hour. Your eyes squint closed as the plane touches down, jolting everyone forward in their seats. Jake grabs his phone as the plane slows down, flashing his screen at you to show a local time of 12:13AM. 

“I see some jet lag in our future,” you smile, sliding his jacket off of your arms. You fold it the best you can and hand it back to him, almost sad you have to give it back to him. “Thanks again for that.”

“Oh yeah, no problem.” He accepts it graciously from you, letting out a soft breath as he unfolds it and slides it back over his shoulders. It fits his personality well, soft and sturdy, worn in and weathered. He flips his hair out from beneath the collar, a barely there smell of peppermint passing through the air. You pull your gaze away from him just as you see his cheeks start to blush from your gaze. You lock your phone and stick it into your backpack at your feet, wondering how in such a short amount of time Jake has managed to infiltrate your thoughts so completely. 

JAKE POV

As she turns to grab her bag you open your phone, tapping on the notification that she has added you to her playlist. You accept the invitation with a sly smile before sliding your phone back into your coat pocket. It smells like her now, soft and floral, very different than anything you were used to. Your mind was already circling with things you wanted to add to that playlist when you got a minute, finding it was harder than you thought to think of songs on the fly. 

The first few rows begin to file out of the plane and you watch as Paul stands and turns to look at Y/N, motioning to her to meet up with him after she got off the plane. She nods her head and slides her backpack straps over her shoulders, waiting for her turn to stand. 

“For jet lag…You know…Um, Benadryl,” you offer, your voice a little soft and unsure.

She turns to look at you, pinching her brows together in question. 

“When you get to your room tonight, take a Benadryl. Should knock you out until the morning and help you get on a normal schedule. Works for me, at least.” you finish, nodding to her as the people in front of you stand to leave. 

“Thanks, Jake.” She smiles and nods, sliding out of her seat to walk down the aisle. 

You watch her as she walks up the jet bridge towards the gate, seeing Paul waiting for her in the doorway. The two walk together through the airport, finding it fairly quiet at this hour as most of the flights have landed for the night. You push your sunglasses down onto your nose just as you feel Josh walking up behind you. 

He gives you a gentle nudge in the side to get your attention. “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Easy flight,” you answer, still listening and catching bits and pieces of whatever Paul is saying to Y/N, prepping her for the hotel check in and details for the morning. She is typing notes on her phone as she walks, barely looking where she is going, clearly trusting Paul to look out for her more than she should.

You tune out Josh as he rambles on about the flight, Ty jumping in every few words with a retort or a laugh. Your eyes don’t seem to leave her though, watching her talk, watching her walk, shit, just watching her. You can’t seem to shake it. You’d never met anyone like her before. Someone you were so instantly taken with. You wanted to know every single detail about her. 

You feel Josh’s hand as it comes up to your chin, pressing it upward and forcing your jaw shut. “There, you seemed to have dropped that.”

You turn to him angrily, knowing what he’s insinuating, giving him a hard elbow to the arm. “Fuck off, Josh.”

He laughs and pushes you with his shoulder, readjusting his backpack on his other shoulder. “Just an observation, that’s all. Can’t say I blame you, though.”

“Oh are you talking about Jake and Y/N?” Sam interjects, stepping up on your right side in a lanky stride. 

Josh nods, laughing slightly, wanting to keep this banter going. Asshole. 

“Can you two knock it off, fuck,” you growl, hoping she can’t hear them. Your eyes are locked in on her again, and much to your relief she is talking to Paul and can’t hear a word they’re saying.

“He didn’t shut up the entire flight. Lots of whispering and giggles from up there. I didn’t sleep at all. But I did hear his monologue about the genius of Alt-J for the fourth time this year.” Josh quips, earning a laugh from everyone around you. 

“Fuck you again, Josh,” you spit, annoyed at his lack of respect. 

“Damn, so you’re trying to scare her away, then?” Sam teases, giving you a sideways grin. 

You shake your head and push past them forcefully as you step off the escalator into baggage claim, not wanting to engage in this conversation a second longer. Especially because you were afraid they might be right. 

—

“Shit, not again,” Danny mumbles as you all approach the baggage claim area, immediately noticing a group of fans obviously waiting for your arrival. You take a deep, preparational breath as you can’t help but run into them on your path to the carousel. 

“Let’s just get it over with,” you hear Josh complain as he puts on his faux-happy face. You all love meeting fans. Truly, watching their faces light up when they see you is something that is unparalleled. But coming off of a long flight and already feeling the effects of the time difference, starving, and ready for a drink usually puts all of you in a mood that is generally irked overall. But you always suck it up; this is the life you signed up for. 

This time though, unlike most encounters with fans, is enough to make your general irritation quickly turn into intense aggravation. They swarm you, hugging and pulling and invading your spaces in an extremely unwelcome attempt at meeting each of you. You feel surrounded, and unable to get to your luggage in time before it rounds the carousel again. You keep your cool, just as you always do, curtly smiling and pulling away as your body instructs you to. You pause for quick photos as your eyes search the spinning luggage again. You see your brothers out of the corners of your eyes doing the same… quick ‘hellos’ and ‘nice to meet you’s’ as the crowd just seems to get bigger and bigger. 

Just as your eyes finally fall on your suitcase, you hear a loud clack as you turn and notice someone has knocked Sam’s phone out of his hand. It lands face down on the tile floor, likely cracked and scuffed from the people crowding around you all. You watch as Sam’s face turns up in annoyance, his eyes closed as he composes himself. 

“Okay, that’ll be enough!” You hear Dean, your security, bellow across the crowd. “Please step away, no more photos, no more photos…” Dean makes his way into the center of group, quickly dispersing them. You give Sam a quick look that says, ‘get your phone, let’s go’, and soon enough you’re rolling your suitcase through the middle of the crowded room. 

You see Y/N in the crowd, finding her to be a little flustered from the encounters, but alright nonetheless. You lock eyes with her as she mouths, ‘Are you okay?’, and you nod her off with a look of, ‘Yeah, this happens all the time.’

Your team is surrounding you as you quickly walk through the hallway toward the exit, ready to hop into an unmarked van and zip away to your hotel. You’re still being followed as you make it through the back exit doors.

When you’re finally safe outside the pickup area, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. “Fuck, that was a bad one.” Danny says. “Sam, how's your phone?”

“It’s ok, just a little scuff in the corner but it’ll be fine,” he answers, scanning his eyes over it.

“Guys, keep your phones on, Wes will be texting you tomorrow with where we’re headed next. Get some sleep and something to eat.” Paul instructs as everyone loads their things into the vans. Y/N is standing nearby, and you can tell that she feels a little out of place as she awkwardly crosses one ankle over the other. You take a quick opportunity to knock your elbow into her side, feeling comfortable enough to do that now that you’d sat together so long on the plane, but she’s avoiding eye contact. You hope she doesn’t feel uncomfortable around you.

“Hey, thanks for letting me jam a little with you on the plane,” you say sheepishly. “Sorry if I overstepped any, but I really think you’ll like the music I added for you.”

Finally her composure opens a little. “No, no! You didn’t… overstep. I’m actually excited to hop in my big cozy hotel bed and listen again.” Her words make your stomach fall with nerves, but you quickly suppress it. 

“Y/N, you ready?” you hear Wes ask her as he passes by, heading toward another van.

“Yep, all set!” she answers as she follows him through the dwindling group. She hops into another van, and you worry she’ll be staying at another hotel. For a second you think you won’t see her as much if she is. You climb inside the van and slam the door closed behind you, seeing the group of fans with their phones pressed to the windows of the airport. You plop back down into the middle seat beside Josh, and finally take a full breath of relief. 

“Fuck! I swear to god if I’m getting sick again…” Josh says as he bangs his head against the headrest behind him. You scoot sideways on the van’s bench seat, staying as far away from him as you can. 

“Are you serious?!” Danny says from the seat behind you. “You need a mythical medicine man or some shit.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine, just feel a little congested. I’ll send Y/N out on her first mission for some meds after we get settled in the hotel.” Josh answers, and you keep yourself pressed against the van’s window, purposefully turning your back to him. Can’t have that again. You realize, though, that of course she’ll be in the same hotel as you, management always is. 

The vision of a worried Y/N replays in your mind, seeing her face full of concern as the fans did all but ambush you earlier. You shake the thought, suddenly having a realization that, most likely, everyone else is having, too. 

“I think we should amp up security,” you blurt. “No offense to Dean, but he’s only one guy. There are more than ten of us…” you’re met with a little bit of silence, so you press on. “Just while we’re over here, at least. We’re going to be separated a lot, and I think it would be a good idea if Dean wasn’t being pulled in all different directions.”

“Don’t you think we should have thought of that before we got over here, Jake?” Josh counters. 

“I’ve actually been thinking it for a while. Today just…made me feel like it’s necessary, now,” you respond quietly. What could it hurt? You have the funds, and a few extra eyes on you and your team couldn’t be a bad thing. 

You hear a collective sigh from your brothers, until Sam finally speaks. “Yeah, I kinda felt a little overwhelmed when I dropped my phone and it got kicked away from me. First world problems, I know, but—”

“But someone could have picked it up, and ran off with it. Gotten access to your private information. Stepped on it and shattered it. We’re probably just paranoid, but I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a bad idea…” you suggest. 

“I like the idea.” Josh adds. “Wish we would have talked about it sooner, but I’m sure Paul could get something arranged for us. Those security companies are always looking for overseas gigs.”

“Daniel, you agree?” you ask, twisting your body to the backseat. 

“Yeah, I do, actually,” he decides. 

“Good. It’s settled, then. We’ll talk to Paul first thing in the morning,” you say, happy with your decision of bringing it up. All you can see is a memory of Y/N’s scared face replaying over and over in your mind, and you just can’t seem to shake it.

You quickly curse yourself, you’re in no headspace to be worrying about a woman right now. You’ve gotta keep your head on straight. Tour hasn’t even started yet, and you’re already letting a new girl give you butterflies. You audibly scoff at yourself as you lean your elbow on the window, looking out at the bustling streets outside. You throw your earbuds in, letting the tangle of cords just be what it is, and you pull your phone out to switch the volume up. Of course, Alt-J pops onto your screen the second you look at it, and you wonder if she’s already listening to them, too. 

The city lights are twinkling through the light drizzle of rain, and you finally feel your bones starting to settle into tiredness. Though your mind is racing with excitement to play shows, you let yourself ignore the thoughts and relax into the music blessing your ears. Some room service and a down comforter is calling your name. 

—--

HER POV

The shrill sound of your hotel room telephone wakes you from a half-sleep. What the hell? What time is it? You don’t remember falling asleep, but the loud TV and the lights still illuminating the room signify you must have accidentally dozed off. 

“Hello?” you answer, realizing that no matter the time, duty calls. 

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Paul. Sorry if I woke you…”

“No, you’re fine. I’m awake,” you lie. 

“Cool. Um, Josh was wondering if you’d run to the pharmacy down the street and pick up the meds I just texted you. He said he would go get them himself, but he’s doing a lung steaming treatment or… something. I dunno. But if you don’t care, here’s your first assignment! I know it’s late, but the pharmacy is apparently open all night.”

You glance at your watch and see that it’s already nearing 1:00AM. “Sure! I don’t care at all. Tell him I’ll have them to him ASAP.” 

“Will do. Hey, turn your location on for me and Wes, okay? Be safe, thanks again,” Paul hangs up the phone before you can say goodbye, and within seconds you’re crawling out of bed and putting your pants back on. Your stomach growls as you realize you fell asleep without eating anything. You make a plan to make a quick trip to the pharmacy, deliver Josh his medicine, then go back out to find something to eat before you end up eating the bag of peanuts you stuffed in your bag on the plane. 

You take a second to check your messages, finding you have three unread messages from Ruth. In the mess and confusion of the day, and the time difference, you’ve been thrown for a loop. You shoot her a quick few texts to let her know you’re alive and well, but you leave out the sweet little detail that you’d shared AirPods with the guitarist of the band you’re touring with. You’d get into that part later.

The walk to the pharmacy is short, thankfully, and you find the things Josh needs without much of an issue at all. The city is still fairly crowded with people at this hour, and you make sure to track your steps backward just the way you came to get back to the hotel. Your stomach rumbles again, and the smells coming from the various restaurants around you have your head spinning with hunger. 

A few quiet knocks on Josh’s hotel room door bring him to answer it within seconds, and his warm composure instantly makes you feel welcome. “Y/N! Thank you so much, seriously. I need to knock this shit out before it gets any worse, and I think you just saved the day,’ he gushes as you see clouds of steam pouring out of his cracked bathroom door, and smell the sweet scent of herbal fragrances as they waft through your nose. “You have any trouble finding the place? Google said it was close by…”

“Anytime, Josh. And no, actually. It was right around the corner,” you answer, handing him the bag of meds.

“Good. Well I won’t bother you again, you heading to sleep?” he asks with a warm tone.

You bite the inside of your lip as your stomach screams at you again. “No, I passed a little pub on my walk, and it smelled amazing as I walked by. Think I’m gonna go have a drink and get something to eat. I’m starving.”

“Go feed yourself, love. Enjoy the city. We’ve got a long day tomorrow!” 

“Will do, see you tomorrow!” you say as he closes the door. 

“Thanks again! See ya!”

You make your way to the elevator and down to the bottom floor, digging your phone out of your pocket to check your location and make sure the pub is still going to be open at this hour. A quick search for Le Marmitone tells you the kitchen doesn’t close for another hour, so you pick up your pace and head straight for the pub. 

The wind and rain have picked up a little bit, and you thank yourself for adding a few layers on before you left your hotel room earlier. The cold air bites at your cheeks as you meander through the people still out walking the streets, and the smell of the food drifting on the wind draws you straight back to the pub. Upon entering the double doors, you find that it is actually a nice restaurant with a bar. 

You grab a seat at the corner of the bar, glancing to the coolers and shelves to see what your drink options are.

“Evening madame, here is a menu. Can I get you a beverage?” a man in a sport coat asks as he hands you the shiny white menu. His accent is thick, but you can understand him fairly easily.

“Hello. Could I have a whiskey soda and a water, please?” you ask as you remove your heavy jacket and hang it over the back of the stool. You look over the menu choices and decide on a bowl of soup and a sandwich, more of a lunch option, but a steaming hot bowl of soup sounds exactly like what you need right now. 

There are a few people still scattered throughout the restaurant, most closing their tabs and leaving for the night. There are a few patrons still at the bar, stuck in conversations with one another or watching whatever game is playing on the big screen. 

The bartender sets your drinks in front of you as you tell him your food order, and you pull out your phone to begin fishing through emails and making your daily checklists. The Whiskey drink is strong, but not too strong, and you let yourself enjoy the immediate warmth it sends coursing through your veins. 

You fill your stomach up as far as it will allow you, and you decide that one more drink probably won’t hurt, as the place doesn’t close up for another hour. You’re enjoying yourself, basking in the calm before the storm that is going to hit promptly at 10AM tomorrow. 

“‘Scuse me, sir. I’ll take one more drink and my check, please,” you alert the bartender. He nods and turns to concoct your drink and print your tab. When he returns, he plops a bright red maraschino cherry onto the top. 

“Gentleman at the end of the bar says this one is on him, ma’am.” He places the white slip of paper in front of you as he removes your dishes, and disappears. Your eyes slowly drift to the left, landing on an older gentleman who had been lingering at the end of the bar since you’d gotten here. His friends have since left, leaving him to finish off a few more rounds by himself. 

He smiles hard when you notice him, and slides off his stool, stumbling his way toward you. You feel your heart rate pick up as he approaches you, and you remember that you do have mace in your purse, should you need it, Ruth’s one request.

“Hello, lovely. Enjoy that drink on me this evening,” he slurs with a heavy accent. He sits down in the stool beside you, and suddenly you’d rather not have that second drink, after all. You glance at the drink, and back to him, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable in his presence. 

“Um, thank you, really. But I—I’ve actually got to go. It’s getting to be later than I thought…” you lie, pulling out some cash from your purse to pay the bill. 

“Nonsense! Have the drink, beautiful. Tell me, where are you from? Your accent tells me it’s somewhere far away from here…” he presses, pushing the drink toward you. His hands are giant, and covered in dark hair. He has a beard of the same color that reaches almost down to his stomach, and you can smell the alcohol radiating from his breath. 

“The States,” you say bluntly, avoiding eye contact with him as the bartender is nowhere to be found. You immediately kick yourself for not telling Dean where you had run off to, all by yourself. You know better than this. 

“Obviously, sweetheart. But where?” he asks. 

“Um, a small town, you’ve probably never heard of it,” you go on, beginning to pull your jacket on and leave the money on the bar top. Suddenly the man’s hand is on the back of the stool, holding it steady as you try to turn it. 

“I’d like to hear all about it, love,” he growls, and you suddenly feel very intimidated. There is no one else around, no other patrons at the bar, you couldn’t feel the presence of another human or employee running about, and you contemplated making a run for it. 

“I promise I’m not here to scare you, just talk. That’s all I’d like to do…” he goes on, backing his hand away from the chair as he notices your panic. Finally, the bartender makes his way back, but instead of taking your check, he continues cleaning and re-stocking for the night. You’re alone, and uncomfortable. Why did you do this to yourself? 

Suddenly you remember that Jake put his number in your phone. You know you can’t get a hold of Dean at this hour, especially since you didn’t tell him you were going anywhere. You can’t make that bad of a first impression before your first day even really happens. 

You quickly turn your attention to your phone, trying to figure out what to do, but then it hits you. You type in the name, taking a deep breath before sending Jake a risky text as a last ditch effort. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone, hmm?” the man asks as you turn away from him to type as quickly as you can.

You

1:47AM: Jake, are you awake?

Your foot taps nervously on the floor, the man next to you doing everything in his power to corner you into this seat. A text bounces back after a minute, and you feel your shoulders relax just a touch. 

Jake 🗡

1:49AM: How did you get this number?

You

1:50AM: You put it in my phone today on the plane. Are you busy?

Jake 🗡

1:51AM: Oh, hey. No, I’m just getting ready to go to bed, why what’s up? You okay?

You

1:52AM: No. I don’t think so. I hate to ask this, I know it’s late. Is there any way you could come meet me? I left to get something to eat and didn't tell anyone and this guy here has me cornered into my seat and I don't think he is gonna let me leave alone.

Jake 🗡

1:53AM: Share your location, I’m leaving now.

You

1:54AM: Thank you. I owe you.

“Did you hear me sweetheart? I said, are you expecting someone?” the man asks, a sly grin on his face as he leans closer to you. 

You quickly glance back down at your phone, sharing your location with Jake and hoping he can find you. You lock your phone and put it in your purse, pretending you’re a lot less anxious than you actually are.

“Actually, yes, I am. My…boyfriend is on his way. He’ll be here in just a second.” you lie, doing your best to speak confidently. “I should probably step outside to meet him.”

“No, no, stay, you haven’t touched your drink,” he says, gesturing to the glass of alcohol. “I know a place down the street, stays open late, too.”

You feel your skin start to grow clammy, the man's intentions suddenly becoming very clear. Your heart is pounding as you try to talk your way out of the situation. You clear your throat, and just as you start to speak you see the front door of the restaurant open. Jake steps inside, looking side to side, his eyes quickly scanning the entirety of the restaurant until he locks eyes with you. 

He nods to the host at the door as he walks toward you, wearing the same clothes from earlier but now his hair is a little messier. You know he got out of bed to do this. 

You instantly stand from your seat as Jake steps up, reaching towards him as he settles himself between you and the man. 

“Hey baby, you finally made it,” you coo, your pleading eyes locked on Jake’s as he wraps his arm around your shoulder in a welcoming hug. You can smell him, the cologne lingering on his coat. The same coat that was wrapped around you only hours ago.

He pulls away and drops his arms to his side as you turn to him. You stare at him just a second longer, hoping he can hear the words you are screaming in your mind. He blinks and turns to look at the man before letting his eyes flick back to you. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course babe, sorry I was late,” he pauses, turning to face the drunk man beside him. “Who is this?”

You let out a small breath of relief as he silently agrees to play along with you. “Oh, he came over from the bar. He sent this drink over, but I just can’t drink it. I already had one and you know I work in the morning,” you answer, hoping he is understanding what you’re trying to say. “Do you want it?”

He looks so effortless standing there with a hand in his jacket pocket. He tilts his head and scrunches his nose just a bit before answering, “Ahh, nah…It looks like a watered down well pour and I just had one myself before I got here. I’m alright. We should probably get going though, we have an early day tomorrow and it’s fairly late already.”

Yes.

“Oh, you two are terrible liars. He isn’t your boyfriend, is he sweetheart?” the man asks, scoffing at Jake. “You should come with me, I can show you the city better than this fool.”

“That’s an awfully brazen assumption, sir, I must say.” Jake argues, pulling his hand from his coat pocket and grabbing yours. You suck in a harsh breath feeling his fingers lace with yours. Fake or not, there was definitely a new feeling swirling through your veins. 

“Look at her, she’s flustered. This woman hasn’t ever been touched by you. It’s written all over her face.” he continues, looking Jake over. 

“Your boyfriend, your husband, he isn’t any of those things. I don’t see a ring on your finger, and I don’t know how they do things where you’re from, but in this country, you my dear, are fair game.”

You want to snap back. The audacity is astounding. You start to step forward, ready to lay into him, but you feel Jake’s hand squeeze yours and you know he’s telling you to follow his lead this time.

“She is with me, sir,” Jake spits. “And it would be in your best interest to back off.”

“Oh, is that right?” the man counters, standing up from his seat, giving him a few good inches over Jake. Jake didn’t falter though. Of course he didn’t. He knew that didn’t matter.

“Kiss her, then. If she’s yours, kiss her,” he quips. 

“Absolutely not, I don’t have to prove anything to you, and quite frankly sir, it’s none of your business,” Jake snaps, you can tell he’s starting to get mad, his hand gripping yours a little harder. “Let’s go, babe.”

You stand firm next to him, not letting your face show a single waiver of emotion as the man waits to see if you’ll crack. Jake starts to walk away pulling you behind him, but before you can move the man grabs your other arm, taking both of you by surprise. 

“Stay, sugar. Let a real man take you home.”

Jake snaps his head around, hearing the words fall from the man's drunken mouth. For a minute you’re scared. You don’t know how Jake is going to react, his jaw is hard set and his nostrils flared in anger. You hear him curse under his breath as he shakes his head. 

“You know what? Fuckin’ fine…” he challenges, looking at the man then to you, nodding just enough for you to notice.

Just as you feel the anxiety of what he is about to do bloom in your chest, he reads your body language, letting a sweet and quiet ‘S’okay’ slip from his lips.

Your eyes widen a little as you realize what’s about to happen, but take solace in the fact that he’s likely just as nervous as you are. He stops, pulling you in towards him as his hand grabs at your waist.

His fingers grip into your hairline as he tilts your head just enough to deepen the kiss. His tongue swipes over your lips, hot and wet as your hands slide up his body to rest on his chest. You kiss him back, you’re trying to sell this as the real thing, but also partly because you just want to. You try not to think about that part too much as you let your tongue flick against his just for a second before pulling it back. You feel the vibration on your lips as the softest groan leaves his mouth just as he pulls away from you. 

Your lips are wet with the taste of him and your chest is heaving as Jake rubs his lips together and clears his throat. He turns to the man who is standing there staring at the two of you, a bit of challenge in his tone as he speaks. “You good now?”

The man scoffs, mumbling a curse as he bats at the air between you. You feel yourself relax in Jake’s grip as the man turns to walk back to his original place at the bar. A quiet ‘fuck’ leaves Jake’s mouth as he turns his attention back to you, stepping back and releasing his grip on you. 

His eyes search yours just as yours search his, both of you unsure what to say. Instead he looks over to the man again, nodding his head to him as he grabs your hand again and guides you towards the door.

“You okay?” he asks, opening the door and letting you walk out into the drizzle. You pull your jacket closed across your front, the cold air chilling your skin. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Thank you– for that,” you murmur as he steps up next to you. He grabs your hand again, lacing his warm fingers with your cold ones, taking you by surprise. 

“Oh, it’s okay now Jake, he isn’t following us,” you offer, looking over your shoulder to check. He doesn’t drop your hand though, in fact you feel his fingertips brush across your knuckles, sending a whole different kind of chill through your body. 

“I know,” he answers, smiling shyly as he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye. You’re positive he can see the blush that has taken over your cheeks, your mouth suddenly dry, and your mind unable to form a response. You feel the butterflies swirling around in your stomach as you walk towards the hotel, the rain starting to taper off finally. 

“You can trust me, you know,” he says, his voice sincere as he guides you around puddles. 

“I barely know you, Jake,” you smile, bumping your shoulder into his. 

“For now,” he answers, squeezing your hand in his. 

He opens the door to the hotel lobby, the warm air instantly hitting you. Jake drops your hand, your fingertips brushing against his. You kind of miss it, in a way you definitely shouldn’t be. 

“Thank you again, for doing all of that. I’m really sorry. I fucked up, I won’t make that mistake again,” you say, watching him press the button for the elevator. Your eyes linger on his lips, a little pink from the cold air outside. 

“It was no problem, I promise. Stop apologizing,” he pauses, motioning for you to step into the elevator. “Let me walk you to your room, what floor?” he asks, his finger hovering over the buttons.

“Oh, no it’s really okay, you don’t have to do that. I promise I’m good now,” you stammer, watching his lips turn up in a huff of laughter. 

“Y/N, what floor?”

“Nine,” you squeak, your eyes fixated on the dimple in his cheek. You feel your skin growing warm just from looking at him, you feel like you might burst into flames just at the thought of how his lips felt on yours. Did you imagine that whole encounter? No way all of that just happened.

“Me as well,” he says, pressing the button as the doors close.

The two of you ride up in silence, casting each other the occasional glance every few seconds. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you're positive you stopped breathing. The elevator chimes as it reaches the ninth floor, and you nearly jump out of your skin at the sound. 

He smiles at you again as the doors open, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him. “Your room number?”

“Um, I think I'm 924, all the way down,” you answer, your heart jumping in your chest. 

He nods his head and puts a hand into his pocket. “Alright, I’m just up here in 915, but I’ll walk you down.”

“Jake you really don’t have to, you can just–”

He turns to you and laughs, shaking his head again. “Just let me.”

“Fine.” You huff a breath, pulling your own keycard from your purse. He walks only a step behind you, both hands in his pockets now as you step up to your door. You tap your key to the lock and hear it beep, signaling for you to enter. You turn to look at Jake, seeing a softness to his face you hadn’t noticed until now. 

“Thank you, for…being such a gentleman,” you say playfully, smiling at him. 

“My pleasure, Miss Y/N. There is some chivalry left in the world…” he answers, bringing his hand up to rub at his lips. 

You start to enter your room, and hear him speak again, this time very quietly.  “We’re not all bad.”

You turn around to see him shifting his weight still rubbing his fingers over his chin as if he expected you not to hear him. 

“What?”

He hesitates as he makes eye contact with you, clearly shocked you heard him. You can tell he wants to say something but he’s holding back. Maybe you’ve spooked him. 

He shakes his head with a smile, as if telling himself whatever he wanted to say was stupid. He pulls his phone and his keycard from his pocket and grips them in his hand. “Nothing, nothing, um, have a good evening. I will see you in the morning, I suppose.”

You nod once, giving him a sweet and appreciative smile, “See you in the morning.”

He lingers for just a moment, eyes locked on yours before flicking down to your lips. He catches himself and looks back at you before turning to head down the hallway. You shut the hotel room door and twist the lock, letting out the breath you had been holding with a gasp. 

You spin around, letting your back press against the door as you sink down to the floor with a barely audible squeal. Holy. Shit. What the hell was that?

Pull yourself together Y/N.

You grab your purse and stand up, digging through it as fast as you can in search of your phone. You have no earthly idea what time it is in Nashville but you don’t care as you pull up your texts with Ruth, and begin furiously typing. 

You

2:34AM: Without going into detail I definitely just kissed the guitarist 🫢

You toss your bag onto the chair and change into your pajamas, your blood still rushing around in your body as you try to calm your nervous system. A text bounces back, and you know it’s her. 

Ruth

2:40AM: WITHOUT GOING INTO DETAIL???? KISSED? I just got to my desk!!!! I’m here. I’m sat. I’m listening. I want every single detail in a five paragraph essay with MLA formatting.

You

2:42AM: Lol it is 2:40 in the morning. I will call you tomorrow, which is really still today for you, but kinda tomorrow for me? I don’t know this is confusing but I will call you and give you the full run down because we also shared airpods on the plane and he made me a playlist? Love you goodnight!

Ruth

2:44AM: AIRPODS? A PLAYLIST??????

2:45AM: Y/N NO! GET BACK HERE

2:45AM: Okay. Hang on, I’m googling him. I need to see this man’s face

2:46AM: Wait there’s two guitarists

2:46AM: Ok one is the bassist HELLO?? You kissed HIM?! Aldjsfklsk

2:48AM: It’s totally fine and I am being so normal about this. Talk to you later, if I haven’t pulled all my hair out by then! I’ll be creeping his insta all day! Goodnight!

You laugh as you read her onslaught of messages, knowing that she is likely going out of her mind with possible scenarios. You make your way into the bathroom, washing your face and brushing your teeth so that you can positively melt into the bed and sleep until your alarm forces you awake. You’re patting your face dry as your phone buzzes on the bathroom counter, but the noise it makes isn’t one you’re familiar with. You hang the towel on the ring and pick up your phone, seeing a notification come through that is brand new to you.

‘Jake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

He what? 

Now?

Your blood runs cold just seeing his name on your phone after…well…whatever that was.

You turn off the bathroom light, hesitantly sliding your finger across the notification, and letting it bring up the playlist. There at the very bottom you see that a new song was added two minutes ago. But not just any song, no. You know this one. You know this one well. You tap on the song hearing the familiar and haunting guitar riff of ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None the Richer start to play through your phone speakers.

You can’t help but to laugh, a smile of shock has your jaw hanging wide open as you stand in your giant fancy hotel room, listening to what you consider to be a fairly romantic song sent straight to you from none other than your knight in shining, well, corduroy, armor. You couldn’t even picture him listening to this song, and somehow that almost made it a little better. 

As the chorus plays you fall backwards onto your bed, the fluffy white sheets enveloping you as a giddy feeling swirls through your chest. He’s thinking about me. He’s thinking about that kiss. You felt guilty for thinking about it, but now? Now you weren’t feeling so guilty. He liked it just as much as you did, clearly. 

Jake Kiszka liked kissing you. 

You. 

What?

You couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of your face if you had to. You didn’t want to. This was quite possibly the most thrilling thing that has happened to you in months. Years! You had all but forgotten about creepy bar man at this point, but god you have half a mind to walk right back into that bar and shake his hand. 

But, you knew you had to calm down. Take a breath. The song came to a close, leaving the hotel room silent. Your mind was still swimming in bliss, replaying the feeling of his lips on yours, the way his hands held yours, the way he smelled, the way his lips tasted, oh god… He was thinking about your kiss. He all but told you so. 

You were also thinking about that kiss. He wanted you to know he was thinking about it. How can you– Oh. A sly grin spreads across your face as you type into the search bar. 

You find the song you’re looking for, your thumb hovering over the add button as you try to talk yourself out of doing this. It could end badly, terribly, really. He is technically your boss, and you know you shouldn’t be doing this, but. Hey, you’re just the runner. You smile as you watch the little box pop up reading ‘Added’.

Your heart starts to pound. Did he get a notification? Is he asleep? Did he see it? Will he understand? Since when did you start communicating with people through song titles?

You rush back to the playlist scrolling to the bottom and smiling as you press play on the new addition to your shared playlist. It's mere seconds before ‘Do It Again’ by Steely Dan starts to play and you laugh, knowing you are absolutely crazy. Do it again, of course you wanted to do it again. God he probably thinks you’re such a loser. Plot twist, you are, but he doesn't have to know that yet. 

You listen to the song, plugging your phone into the charger and turning off the lamp. You’ve always loved Steely Dan, it reminds you of your dad, but then again who doesn’t it remind of their dad? The song comes to a close, your giddy feeling finally starting to wear off as the exhaustion starts to step into its place. Your eyes feel heavy as you roll towards the nightstand to set your alarm, groaning at how soon it’s coming. You lock your phone and settle into the pillows, letting out a content sigh as you recap the day in all of its insane glory. 

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, the glow illuminating the room for just a brief second. You freeze as you stare up at the ceiling, almost too scared to look. Did he add another song? What if he changed his mind? What if you overstepped? Oh god. You should not have done that. What were you thinking?  

You suck in a breath as you grab your phone, nervously tapping the screen that shows no new songs added, but a text from Jake. 

Jake 🗡

3:04AM: I fully intend to. 

Oh, he definitely saw it.

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Skin Deep - Part 7

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!reader x Jake Kiszka

Word Count: 14.6k

A/N: I’m so happy to be able to get this posted for you guys. You have been so supportive and patient with me the past few weeks and I appreciate that more than you know. (Also I want to say this isn’t perfectly edited. I’m beyond ready to get this out and posted. So I apologize in advance.)

As always, I appreciate all the love, support, and feedback y’all give me ❤️

Special shoutout to my lovely girls Nessa and Hannah for carrying my ass through this chapter. I wouldn’t have been able to get it done without them.

Warnings: cursing, angst, jealousy, smoking/drug use (marijuana), sexually explicit content - 18+/MINORS DNI!!! (Unprotected penetrative sex, oral f!recieving, fingering, hair pulling, biting, restraints, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, orgasm denial/edging, dom/sub stuff, spit kink, y’all know me by now)

Part 6, Masterpost

“I had a feeling you were going to be a good listener.”

He has the sharp bridge of his nose pressed into the side of your cheek, while every strained exhale of his clings to your face. The only sound filling the cramped office is your shared heavy breathing. A layer of sweat coats nearly every inch of your skin, and your stiff, aching muscles tremble around his waist as he stands between your legs. 

After what feels like an eternity, Jake finally peels away from you and stuffs himself back into his pants. Just as he’s about to pull up the zipper, the metallic sound of a key being inserted into the lock on the door disrupts the otherwise silent moment. It clicks over and before you have a chance to react, the office door swings open suddenly. 

A tsunami-sized wave of panic surges through you in a second, making it feel as though your heart jumped into your throat. You haven’t had time to dress yourself, so you’re left exposed to whoever is walking through that door. All you can do is snap your bare legs together as you sit naked on the desk.

Thankfully, it’s Josh. He whips the door open so fast it nearly crashes into the wall behind it as he steps through the threshold. He’s pissed. That much you do know. 

“What the fuck?!” He scolds the two of you in a harsh whisper that’s borderline louder than his normal speaking voice, all while throwing his open hands up in the air. To your benefit, his attention is centered on Jake and not you. He waits for his twin to respond, and when he doesn’t, he continues but at a much louder volume than before, “What the fuck were you thinking, Jake?! We’re open!” 

You shift your eyes over to Jake, watching how he finger-combs his damp hair back and tucks it behind his ears. His indifference only fuels Josh’s anger that much more. Josh throws his hands up, completely exasperated by the scene before him. “We have a fucking business to run and you’re in here getting your fucking dick wet.”

His words break the dam, allowing the embarrassment of what just happened to flood your conscience. You’ve become aware of your surroundings within seconds — the cheap laminate of the desk sticking to your bare skin, the sounds of the busy shop echoing through the hallway, to Jake slowly moving in front of you.

Jake just scoffs under his breath, the following words acting as a warning, “Like that’s stopped you before.”

Josh shuffles back as his face contorts into a look of confusion like his brother had just spoken to him in a foreign language. He throws his hands down on the tops of his legs, causing a smacking sound to crack through the air. “There are customers out there!”

Josh’s sudden raise in his voice startles you, causing Jake to take another step in front of you. “Maybe close the fucking door, dickhead.”

 The calmness in Jake’s voice with the subtle move ignites Josh’s anger, but he chooses to bite back his words. His eyes are narrow as he watches Jake dip down and pluck your clothes off the ground. 

He holds out your crumpled clothing while offering you a fleeting look of apology before throwing the verbal jab at his brother. “And that little stunt you pulled with the blonde upstairs?”

The harsh line between Josh’s brows reappears as he racks his brain for answers. “What the fuck are you talking about? What stunt?”

Jake huffs out a dry, lifeless laugh before spitting out the snide remark, “Did you get an actual payment this time? Or was one of your little arrangements made?”

You can’t be sure whether it’s true or not. And to be honest, you’d rather not know if it was, but his emphasis on the word makes you instantly feel uneasy.  You can’t begin to understand the intricacies of their relationship as twin brothers, and you don’t doubt that it’s filled with unconditional love, but with that being said, you had also just witnessed that with that love, Jake knows where to cut Josh the deepest. 

Josh instantly recoils from the blow and spits through his teeth, “You’re a fucking prick, you know that?”

Jake simply ignores his brother’s glaring eyes, but you can see the anger in his stiff movements as he turns back to face you. At this very moment, you’ve never felt more uncomfortable in your life. The tension weighing between the three of you is nothing like you’ve ever experienced. You strongly consider bolting out the door, but Josh is standing between you and the exit. 

You wait in silence thinking that this would be enough of a cue for Josh to leave after he’s made his point, but he doesn’t. You sit until it becomes unbearable, and start to slide off the desk while trying to preserve the sliver of modesty you probably no longer have. You slip your foot through the pant leg of your jeans and just when you think they are done going at each other’s throats, Josh cuts in, “I can’t believe you fucking took her out on the bike.”

Jake pushes out a pitched laugh before taking a deep inhale, “Well I wasn’t gonna leave her to get ignored while I went to lunch. Figured one of us should take care of her since the other was too busy eye-fucking a client to even notice that she walked in.”

Jake’s calmness with each venomous strike makes you shrink in on yourself. You hate knowing that you’ve created this much of a mess between them, but you feel like there’s no remedy imaginable for the damage — at least at the moment. 

“Is that what this is really about?” Josh’s voice cracks near the end. He then looks at you, expecting an answer. 

“I’m gonna leave it up to you to figure it out since you’ve been completely fucking clueless thus far.” Jake pulls his phone from his back pocket to check the time. You watch his expression fall before he faces you. “I have a client coming in a few minutes. Are you alright to get yourself home?”

“Yeah,” you mutter under your breath as if every molecule of confidence evaporated from your body. Jake’s pained smile offers little comfort, but he leans in to place a chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth.

Josh opens the door and leans his back against it. The defined muscles of his jaw wind even tighter while his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh, so you’re gonna leave just like that?”

Jake snaps back, “We have a business to run, remember?”

Josh shakes his head, looking like he’s ready to throw a fist in his brother’s direction. “Seriously…what the fuck is going on with you?”

Jake walks the few steps until he’s face-to-face with Josh — so close that their noses are touching. If there’s one thing you could give Jake credit for, it’s that he knows how to be intimidating. “Looks like you’re gonna have to work a little harder if you want to keep her, Josh.” 

Josh scowls with untamed anger but remains silent otherwise. Jake huffs in disgust and turns to leave, making sure to clip his twin’s shoulder on his way out. 

With Jake gone, there’s no buffer between you and Josh — no one to step in to speak on your behalf. It feels like hours, but in reality, it’s seconds of deafening silence falling over you until he finally breaks it. He clears his throat first, keeping his voice low and cautious, “You have to know that there was nothing happening there, you’ve got to know that I wasn’t going to…”

“I must know that you weren’t going to what, Josh?” Your voice is clipped — harsh. It matches the icy glare you’re giving him. You collect your things and follow the same path as Jake, stepping inches in front of him. There’s no hiding your anger with the following words leaving you in the form of a snarl, “Fuck her?! How would I know that you weren’t going to?”

You almost want him to argue, whether to prove you wrong or to defend himself with the same aggression that he had with Jake. It might have been that he expects it from his brother —  prepared for it in a way that he’s not with you. Hurt glazes his eyes as he searches yours for an explanation. “Cause she’s just a client.”

Your shoulders fall. You want to believe him until reality seeps into your conscience. “Can’t say you haven’t fucked a client before, Josh. Why would she be any different?”

It’s your final punch, the last word. Admittedly, it was a low blow, and within minutes you know you’ll regret letting it leave your mouth. You can’t bear to witness it, so you take your step toward the door. He reaches out for your arm, calling you by name to stop you from walking out. You rip it from his grasp, making him flinch back. 

 “Bye, Josh.”

Opening the coffee shop has always been a struggle, and this morning proved to be no different. 

Things have been weighing heavily on your mind. Your thoughts have gone from feeling like you completely overreacted, to thinking Josh was in the wrong, to everything in between. You still haven’t brought yourself to answer the few text messages he had sent since that afternoon. 

Thankfully, management schedules two openers for the cafe to balance the workload. You reach for the handle of the back door, realizing that it has already been unlocked by your coworker, Katie. You walk in and find that she has already started tackling the checklist of duties based on the smell of drip-brewed coffee filling the small cafe.   

The next few hours of your morning shift progress as normal with the steady flow of regulars keeping you busy and your mind off the thoughts that have been nagging you for a few days. 

Katie calls out your name, breaking your concentration from the caramel latte you’re making. You turn your head toward the direction of her voice, and once she knows that she has your full attention, she points over to one of the front tables and says, “There’s a delivery for you.”

You give her a look of confusion, making her point her finger with added emphasis to redirect your eyes. The large espresso machines block your view so you step around the counter to see a large floral arrangement sitting on one of the high-top tables by the front window.

The bouquet is placed in a glass vase with a sheer ribbon wrapped around the base, giving away that it’s high-quality — and probably cost a pretty penny. As you approach the table, you’re able to get a better look at the flowers themselves. What pulls your eyes first are the large, white hydrangeas. You spin the heavy vase on the table to admire the assortment of peonies that are starting to open, ranging in colors from creamy white to soft, blushed pink. Between the peonies are smaller peach-colored carnations, gardenias, and pink roses. Even Lily of the Valley sticks out from the other blooms, each stem showcasing the tiny, bell-shaped flowers. The last things you note are the green leaves from the flowers with eucalyptus springs balancing everything out perfectly. You run your fingertips gently over the velvety, delicate petals, taking in all the intricate details you can. 

You notice the folded card nestled amongst the flowers and pluck it from its holder. The front is embossed in gold detailing with your inked name on the front. You open it to read the note written inside. 

You imagine him saying each word, and blush from seeing his handwriting for the first time. Your thumbs trace each line and indentation made into the thick cardstock from where he must’ve pressed too hard with the pen. A pang of guilt hits your heart knowing that he’s stressed over you like this. You can sense it in the note —  in the gesture of sending you ridiculously expensive flowers. 

“Secret admirer?” Katie asks over your shoulder, making you jump out of your skin.

You instinctively close the card and tuck it into your palm. “Huh?”

You hope that she doesn’t mention how on edge you seem to be. She walks around you and goes on to inspect the bouquet for herself, but based on her facial expressions, she seems impressed. “The flowers. Who are they from?”

“Uh…” You swallow thickly as you decide on whether or not to tell her the truth. “Josh.”

“Josh?” You watch as the gears turn in her head working to place the name to a face. Her eyes light up once it clicks, and she gasps,  “Tattoo shop Josh?!” While you bite your lip as the once bubbly blush turns feverishly hot in your cheeks, she looks around the cafe to check whether any customers are within earshot. “‘Super hot, looking like a fucking snack every time he comes in here’ Josh?!”

You laugh nervously, “Yeah…”

Her eyes widen just as her hand flies over her mouth. “Oh my god! You have to tell me everything.”

You panic at the thought, not knowing what you can share about what has happened between Josh and you. But before she can ask any more questions to pry you for details, a group of people walk into the cafe, cutting your conversation short. 

She groans silently and starts to walk away, but not without turning to give you a stern look with a finger pointed at you. “Hold that thought. You better fill me in.”

You chuckle at her hunger for new gossip as you pick up the bouquet and move it back behind the counter to get it out of the way as much as possible. Thankfully, the wave of new orders distracts you enough, but every time you catch the sight of the flowers, those conflicting feelings show face. 

When it’s finally early afternoon and business has started to slow considerably, you occupy yourself with restocking and cleaning. You hear the door chime, but with Katie working the register, you don’t bother looking to see who walks in. Instead, you continue working by wiping down a shelf of sticky syrups. 

“Hello!” Katie greets a customer in her usual upbeat customer service voice. “What can I get started for you today?”

There’s a short moment of silence aside from footsteps approaching the counter. “Let’s see…” 

It’s a male voice. Raspy, yet soft. You’ve come to know that voice very well. The sound of it makes you whip your head over to your coworker, but you can’t see the man she’s talking to. He lets out a heavy sigh before humming to himself in thought. “Everything looks so good here.” You hear the clicking of his tongue as if he’s looking over the menu. “What would you recommend, Katie?”

Katie giggles — maybe a little too loudly for your liking. Standing perfectly still to stay out of his line of sight, you watch as she becomes increasingly more flustered with each passing second. “Um…what do you normally drink?”

“How’s the cold brew here?”

“R-really g-good.” She stumbles over herself which makes you smile. So it’s not just you. She pauses to collect herself by letting out a deep sigh before describing the drink, “It’s nitro-brewed and very smooth. It’s one of the most popular drinks actually.” 

“That sounds perfect.” His voice is sweet with a touch of flirtiness, and you swear you can hear the smile in it. “I’ll take the largest size, please.” 

She goes on to place his order and cash him out before grabbing one of the plastic cups from the stack by the register. Even though you’re sure she knows the answer, she acts out of habit by asking, “Name?”

You, however, already know before he says it. 

“Jake.”

“That will be ready in just a minute. You can pick it up right at the end of the counter over there.”

She writes the order along with his name in a black Sharpie on the bottom line of the cup and walks it over to you. By the expression on her face, you can tell she’s screaming internally while fighting to stay as professional as possible. She gestures over to him with an animated look in her eyes when you take the plastic cup. 

She mimes fanning herself as if she’s swooning in his mere presence before returning to her position at the cash register. 

“Hello, dove.”

You flinch from the proximity, realizing that there is no hiding from him now that he’s seen you.  

You pivot slowly on your heels until you’re fully facing him. “Hello, Jake.”

Katie wasn’t overreacting. Your breath catches in your throat now that you’re able to look at him and not just imagine him in your mind. He’s dressed well, but in an outfit that appears to venture from his typical style. He’s wearing high-waisted, gray-pinstriped linen pants. Loosely tucked into the pants is a t-shirt with the shop’s logo on the left breast hidden by the dark, green bomber jacket. With his hair pulled back into a messy, low bun, the fallen pieces frame his face. He’s smiling at you, but you can’t gauge the look in his eyes due to his dark sunglasses covering them. 

You try to hide your reaction by disappearing into the cooler under the counter until you remember that the cold brew he ordered comes from the tap.

 “So this is the place, hmm?” You can tell he’s in a good mood based on the playful amusement in his voice. 

“Shut up,” you huff out as you stand to your knees, letting the smile on your mouth do the talking for you. He laughs at your expense while you read the cup and notice the lack of details about his order. “Do you want any sweetener or milk?”

He shakes his head as he leans across the counter to watch you. “I will admit that seeing you in that little apron was definitely worth breaking out of the shop to come down here.”

As if you suddenly developed a sixth sense, you feel your coworker’s gawking stare from behind. You try your best to ignore it knowing that you will receive a barrage of questions as soon as he walks out the door. “The apron really does it for you guys, huh?”

He bites at his lip instead of answering you. “I got you something.”

You reveal your curiosity through the raise in your brows as you slide his drink over to him. “You did?” 

He sets a grease-stained white paper bag on the counter and pushes it toward you. He watches as you open the bag to inspect its contents. “Of course. I rode out to the taco truck for a bite to eat and thought you might be hungry.”

As soon as you open it, you’re greeted with the delicious aromas of authentic tacos that make your mouth water. “Thank you.”

Katie suddenly chimes into your conversation as she walks behind you, “Well, you’re getting spoiled today. Had flowers delivered and now lunch?”

You shoot her a warning glare over your shoulder, but Jake’s ears have already perked up with the slip of information. “Flower delivery?”

Since you don’t have an acceptable reason to lie, you answer honestly, “Yeah. Josh had them delivered.”

He hums to himself. Although, it appears that he’s more curious than upset, and looks around until he spots them set aside on the floor behind you. “Those are nice.”

This is uncharted territory. You weren’t given the manual of what the right move is in a situation such as this. You can’t even decipher his tone or the words he’s chosen. You can only look away and hum awkwardly in hopes that this doesn’t become a bigger issue. “Mmhmm.”

Jake clears his throat, hoping it does the same for the developing tension hanging between you. He looks down at the cup sitting on the counter, spinning it around in his hands before flicking his eyes back up to yours. “He’s been asking about you, ya know?”

You’re not surprised, but hearing Jake admit it invokes a certain feeling for you. “He has?”

“Are you gonna talk to him?” He can see the rigidity in your movements — or lack thereof. You’re too overwhelmed with Josh’s gesture and Jake’s unexpected visit to know what to say. Your weak excuse of focus falls to your hands while you work to keep them busy with a task.  

While you think of something to say, he lifts his sunglasses away from his eyes and slides them up onto the top of his head and into his hair. There’s something new and it doesn’t take long for your eyes to find it. The silver barbell through the arch of his left brow steals every bit of your attention. “Is that a new piercing?”

His lips curl up at the corners, flashing you that enchanting smile of his as he leans his elbows across the counter. “It is. What do you think?”

You stand back slightly to take it all in. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t take you for a face-piercing guy.”

He shrugs his shoulders.“I was needing a change.” He can tell you don’t buy the answer based on the expression you’re giving him. He hides behind the coffee cup while he takes a sip and adds, “Maybe his impulsiveness is starting to rub off on me.”

“That scares me,” you giggle, giving in to the temptation to reach forward and brush the fallen hair from his face. You tuck it behind his ear, feeling the metal jewelry pierced in it. “I think it suits you.”

It’s only when you look into his eyes that you realize how intimate the moment was. You blush and snap your hand back to your side. He stares at you, studying the details of your face with the purest look of admiration on his. “As much as I want to keep looking at you, I gotta get going, dove. I have an appointment in half an hour.”

“Okay. I’ll see you around.” You try to keep your tone casual, but you know the frown on your face slipped through.

He grasps your wrist just when you start to walk away. “Wait a second. You forgot something.”

“What?”

“C’mere.” He reels you in with that addicting charm so effortlestly that you don’t even realize that he’s pulling you in close by the arm. His lips lock with yours, but only for a second before his tongue slips into your mouth. The warm rush of cinnamon and tobacco coats your senses so much that you forget where you are until your coworker clears her throat from behind you. 

He nips at your bottom lip and reluctantly releases you. “Don’t get in too much trouble, dove.”

He straightens to a standing position, takes out a large bill from his wallet, and places it in the tip jar before heading toward the exit. He shoots a playful wink to Katie before blowing a teasing kiss to you. Just like that, he’s out the door.

In an act so dominant, yet romantic, your head is left spinning with more questions than answers. 

You’re bored. You know it. It’s your day off and you spent your morning and most of the afternoon catching up on chores around the house. It’s a weekday so your friends are occupied and even Jake and Josh are working in the shop. 

You’re not even mad about what happened between the three of you. The obnoxiously large bouquet Josh had delivered to you is currently sitting on your kitchen table. 

You should’ve texted him by now, and to be honest, you’re not sure why you haven’t yet. His last text has gone unanswered for a few days. Maybe you’re afraid of what happens next if you were to respond. And while Josh hangs around in the periphery, Jake remains your main focus. You can’t stop thinking about him. 

The new lingerie set you bought sits on the foot of your bed, waiting for you to try it on for the tenth time since it came home with you. It’s calling to you, beckoning you to put it on one more time. 

It’s a bit more daring than the other one you own. It’s a vibrant, eye-catching red. The cups of the bra have intricate, heart-shaped cut-outs in the fabric, revealing more of your skin. The front of the panties has the same detailing — a heart cut out right in the center of the fabric. 

It accentuates your body, lifting your breasts to show off the soft contours of your cleavage. Having it on gives you that boost of confidence, and you can’t help but turn and twirl in front of the mirror. 

You feel sexy. 

You want him to see you. 

Jake has sent you a few flirty messages since the afternoon he stopped by at the coffee shop, but nothing consistent. The answer itself is quite obvious, but you wonder if sending him pictures would be the best decision. Your nervousness feels silly given how you’ve crossed more extreme boundaries than that, but the hesitation remains. 

You decide to gamble on it by picking up your phone and opening the camera app. The afternoon sun is starting to fall lower in the sky, casting your bedroom in a warm glow. You use it to your advantage and begin taking pictures, playing with the most flattering angles and positions, and even the self-timer until you find ones you’re completely happy with.

One that you settle on is the one where you’re on your hands and knees with your back arched, staring directly into the lens. It’s the right amount of coy, flirty, and teasing. The other picture you decide on is where you’re on your upright on your knees with your arms crossed behind your back, giving him the full view of the set. 

You send them without giving yourself the chance to overthink and back out, adding the message:

Missing you ;)

You watch as the pictures and message change to “delivered”, and then eventually to “read” after a few minutes. You chew at your lip as you anxiously wait for his reply. It feels like an eternity seeing the message bubbles dance across your screen, and then disappear until his response finally comes through.

What the fuck is that?

Your heart instantly drops so fast you feel sick to your stomach. You read his message over and over, trying to figure out what he means until it smacks you right in the face. The tattoo. You had been so distracted, too swept up in the moment and emotions to even think about mentioning it or showing it to him. Thinking back on it, the picture you had sent to him during your phone call didn’t reveal it — as it had been hidden under the material of your bra— and your shirt had been on the entire time while you were in the office. 

I hope for your sake those aren’t the only pictures.

Scratch that. Meet me at the house in an hour wearing ONLY that.

You better hurry, dove. 

He’s taken you off guard. This is not how you anticipated this conversation would go, so here you sit as your brain scrambles for a decent, believable reply. 

Okay

Another text comes through before you can type anything else.

The spare key is under the mat. I want you on my bed ready for me when I get home. 

You sit on the edge of your bed in silence, reading over his texts and maybe a part of you is waiting for another message. After collecting yourself, you accept that there isn’t going to be one. The clock is ticking, and you have less than an hour to get to their house. Within fifteen minutes, you throw on a dress over the lingerie set, pack a quick overnight bag, and feed your cat before finally heading out the door. 

That jittery feeling radiating from your core is enough to make you nauseous. The short drive is almost tortuous from your mind playing out the possibilities. He’s given enough to let on that he isn’t truly upset with you, but there’s no way in hell you can shake the nervousness that you’re experiencing. 

You don’t know why it surprises you to find the spare key is hidden right where he said. It slides right into the lock, and feeling the deadbolt click over brings the trust he has in you to your attention. The house is calm and undisturbed, left exactly how you remembered from the last time you were here. 

 You quickly find your way into Jake’s bedroom and shrug off your bag onto the floor by his closet. Being here without him is surreal and even feels a bit forbidden with everything in here encapsulating his energy and personality. You scan over the items in his room now that you don’t have the distraction, and feel tempted to snoop around a little.

Walking over to his dresser, you look at the stack of hardback books, magazines, an ornate, wooden jewelry box, and even a collection of cologne bottles covering the surface. A small, black bottle piques your interest enough for you to pick it up and read the label. 

Tom Ford. 

It makes you chuckle to yourself because that’s exactly what you would expect from a guy like him — especially him. You place it back into its spot carefully to not knock any of the other bottles on his dresser. As much as you would love to keep looking around, you’re quickly running out of time. He could show up at any second, so you rush pull your dress off and toss it onto the floor, and crawl onto his bed to find the perfect spot. Your concentration is then broken by the loud rumbling of a car pulling into the driveway. 

There’s a minute of dreaded silence after the engine cuts off, but the opening and closing of the front door leaves no doubt that it’s him. You scramble to your knees at the foot of the bed and make sure to check your reflection in the mirror. 

The anticipation is eating away at you, bubbling its way from the pit of your stomach. He hasn’t said anything to greet you, so the house remains quiet aside from the clanging metal of his keys hitting the ceramic dish on their counter. He’s feeding into it by taking his time moving through the living space despite the both of you knowing about each other’s presence. When he finally makes his way to you, his slow, calculated footsteps can be heard echoing down the hallway. 

You stare at the open doorway, realizing that you’ve forgotten to close it behind you. You’re so nervous you worry you might faint given how you haven’t taken a single full breath since he’s been here. 

He finally walks into your line of sight but stops right at the threshold instead of stepping into the bedroom. Your eyes lock with his, and within a flash of a second, you instantly know that you’re in for it. 

He doesn’t rush a single thing, not the movements of his body nor the expressions on his face. He only breaks eye contact to take in the view of you perched up on his throne of a bed. He’s here to worship you, but quickly remind you that it will be on his terms. And in a gesture that seems casual, he sticks his hand in the front pocket of his jeans and leans his shoulder into the doorframe. “Look at you,” he croons to you softly, making sure to draw out the last word as long as possible.  

The blush that’s been living in your cheeks, spreads to the rest of your body, making you look like you had spent a few too many hours basking in the afternoon sun. He saunters toward you, stopping right at the foot of the bed to stand directly in front of you. He reaches his hand out to trace the delicate red lace of your bra, just barely touching the warm skin. “Doing exactly as you’re told.”

He drags those same fingertips gently up the center of your chest, making the air feel heavy in your lungs. Even with your bated breath, you stay perfectly still for him. He gifts you a necklace by slowly wrapping them around your throat, using just enough pressure to tilt your chin up as he leans in. He hums, his voice low and feline, “Dressed up like the prettiest little whore for me.” A rush of heat burns between your legs with his crass words. You hate to admit how it makes you feel, but he can see its effect on you regardless. You can swallow against his palm as he holds you, and watch as his eyes fall to your mouth while his other hand starts to play with the strap of your bra. “This all for me, dove?”

“Yes,” you whimper as you feel the warmth of his fingers tickle across your practically bare shoulder. It’s pathetic how quickly you succumb to his demands. His questions. You don’t care. You’d give him anything he wanted if it meant that he would continue to touch you like this. You’re drunk off it, causing your sense of balance to falter even though you’re planted firmly on your knees. You reach out and grab for him desperately in search of something to hold onto. 

While your fingers tightly wrap around his wrist, his hand snakes up to your chin. He holds it and guides you into a kiss, but instead of spilling his tongue into your mouth and devouring you as you anticipate, he keeps it controlled. You part your lips hungrily to taste him, making him smile against them. “All I have to do is say the word and you come running.” He draws the edge of his nose teasingly across your flushed cheek. “Here you are. Sitting on my bed, just begging helplessly for my cock.”  

The heat of his breath makes every inch of your skin tingle and your arousal build between your thighs. You breathe in his rich scent as you pull him close to you and claw at the t-shirt covering his back. He brings his lips to the shell of your ear and rasps ever so deliciously, “Sounds to me like you’re addicted, dove.”

A low, almost-embarrassing groan pushes past your lips before you can stifle it. You’re growing more impatient by the second, the need to have him consuming you. You search blindly for his lips, brushing your own across his smooth jawline until you find them. As they connect, his hand dives into the tresses of your hair while his tongue slips past your bottom lip. 

He gives in the second he tastes you, pushing you back with deliberate guidance. He falls carefully with you, crawling over your body as you lay across the bed until he’s slotted comfortably between your legs. He’s becoming familiar to you, the sweetness of his mouth, the softness of his skin, the way his tongue explores you. 

Cinnamon and smoke. They bless your tastebuds with each swirling caress of his tongue. He kisses you earnestly with no other motive than to taste and have you to himself at this very moment. No jealousy, no ill-intent — just savoring every single second of you beneath him. You pull him into you and hitch your leg over his waist. The rough material of his jeans brushes against your bare skin, heightening your sense of vulnerability. 

You moan into his mouth, causing him to rock his hips against your core. The feeling of his hard cock straining against the denim, something you’ve been craving since that day in the office, rubbing between your legs drives you to the brink of insanity. 

He nips at your bottom lip, hard enough to leave a sharp sting in the swollen flesh. He pulls away and you already miss the feeling of kissing him, but before you can complain, he props himself on his elbow to create space between you. Maybe it’s to tease you, but you believe it’s for him to catch his breath given how heavily he’s panting. His gaze drifts from your lips and down to your newest tattoo between your breasts. “So when were you planning on telling me about this, dove?”

There’s a hint of a smile playing on his lips, making it hard for you to gauge where his head is really at with it. His texts to you said one thing, but the way he’s looking at you now paints an entirely different picture. “Are you mad that I got it?” 

Now, you know deep down that regardless of his opinion on the matter, it’s your body and your decision. However, you would be lying if you said you aren’t curious about what he thinks about it. 

That hint of a smile grows into a smirk as he caresses the inked skin and adjusts the bra enough to peek around the fabric. He lets out a deep sigh while his fingers continue to create pathways across the planes of your body. “While I can’t say I love the fact you hid it from me…” He trails off as if distracted by the sight before him. “I will admit that it looks incredible on you.”

The compliment mixed with the feeling of guilt threatens to pull you back into your thoughts. You can see he’s inspecting Josh’s work carefully, but whether he doubts his brother’s skill is entirely unknown to you. He traces over the line work with the faintest touch and you wonder if he can feel your heart pounding beneath the surface of your skin. You know the answer to the question based on the subtle expressions on his face, but that doesn’t stop you from asking, “You like it, huh?”

His eyes flick back up to meet yours. The growing desire blooms within the darkening pupils — reminding you that you’re playing recklessly with an open flame. “You better be careful. I hate seeing my work go unfinished.”

A giggle bubbles in your chest despite the seriousness in his husky voice. “Is that a threat?”

The sound of your laughter breaks him enough to smile wide and chuckle. It settles into a hushed silence, and you witness his expression shift as he stares into your eyes. “You’re fucking exquisite. You know that?” 

It’s fleeting, but you swear he’s looking at you with more than lust in his thoughts. It scares you — well, terrifies you. You can only stare back with your mouth hanging open in disbelief.

 “I’m serious, dove. You are the art.”

You’re not sure if he’s expecting an answer, but you take the moment to appreciate his beauty. The flawless skin that’s starting to tan with the change in season. His perfectly pouted lips are a sinful shade of cherry from kissing you. You even notice the slightest bit of stubble starting to grow above them. He opens his mouth, stalling on the breath before whispering out the words, “You take my breath away often.”

You’re not falling for him. Right?

You would convince yourself later that it’s your horniness that makes you desperate to break this tension and not your fear of intimacy. He’s showing you behind the veil again and it overloads your brain too much to even begin to process it. You act on an impulse and reach down between your bodies, taunting him as you do so in the sultriest voice you can conjure up, “You’re not getting soft on me, are you, Jake?”

You grab a handful of his cock through his jeans, squeezing him roughly to emphasize your point. It’s past the point of daring, but the reward of seeing his eyes roll back behind sleepy lids and hearing that primal groan erupt from his throat makes the consequences worth it. 

Before you can blink or mutter a single sound, he snatches your throat in his hand. You mewl from the sudden pressure and the sting of his fingers. He hovers just barely an inch from your lips, causing the warmth of his breath to fan across them. “I thought I told you to be careful, dove.” Satisfied that you understand that he’s the one in control, he releases his grip around your neck and snakes it down your chest. He cocks the pierced brow and says matter-of-factly, “Because I should really throw you over my knee for this.”

Embarrassingly, your thighs clench at the thought. He notices how restless you are and that stupid fucking smirk forms on his face. “Is that what you want, baby?” When you don’t answer right away, he pinches your covered nipple between his fingers. Hard. Enough for you to cry out from both the pain and the desperation for more. 

“Jake!” 

He chuckles, but the sound is muffled into your skin as he makes his way down to your breasts. The heat of his mouth can be felt through the lace of your bra with every pass of his lips over your nipple. It hardens beneath the fabric almost instantly. He surprises you by sinking his teeth around it to deliver a sharp bite, causing another cry to break through your chest. “Ow, you fuck!”

You also react by pulling at his hair, which causes a low growl to rumble in the depths of his throat. His tongue rushes to soothe the shock, lapping over the throbbing bud with languid strokes. The wet, warmth soaking into the material is intoxicating, causing your arousal to pool between your legs. “Fuck that feels good,” you mumble, and arch your back to drive it farther into his mouth. 

While his mouth is busy abusing your tits with a delightful combination of pleasure and pain, his fingers travel lower and lower until they find the lace edge of your panties. He tugs at the waistband, brushing his knuckles across your supple skin between your hips until he lets go, making it snap against you. You can only huff in frustration,  “You’re a fucking tease.”

“Yeah?” He lifts his head and finally responds. You hum your answer, but you’re too distracted with what he’s doing to elaborate. His hand dips between your thighs, and he explores your covered core with the faintest touch of his fingertips. You want nothing more than for him to rip these expensive ass panties down your legs and fuck you so hard you forget your name. He knows it too. You’re bucking into his hand as if your life depends on it, but he's already decided that he won’t give you the satisfaction of it. He slips his middle finger under the fabric, and groans as he coats himself in your slick, “And you’re fucking soaked, baby girl.”

“That beautiful clit,” he sighs as he circles over it. “I bet I can make you cum without even touching her.”

You’re trembling beneath him, feeling as though you might spontaneously combust right here. You’ve grabbed a hold of anything to keep yourself grounded, his arms, his hair, the silken sheets that probably cost more than half of one of your paychecks. You just know deep down that the more you beg for release, the longer he’ll tease you for it. 

The universe is playing the cruelest joke on you. He retreats his hand, and when your eyes snap open, he says, “Let’s smoke.”

He’s already hovering above you, balancing on both hands and showcasing that perfectly white smile. You shuffle up onto the pillows and scoff, “Are you fucking serious?”

He kisses you on the lips to placate your frustration and sits up to start sliding off the bed, “I would never joke about such a thing.”

You stare at him in utter disbelief, watching as he settles into the chair at his desk and pulls out a wooden rolling tray. You can’t believe he stopped and is now deciding to roll a fucking blunt. You were probably seconds away from coming on his hand and he’s spinning his grinder as if nothing happened. Throwing your head into the pillow, you grumble, “You’re such an asshole.”

He barks a laugh and leans into the back of his chair. “Go ahead. Touch yourself.”

“Huh?”

“Play with your pretty pussy for me, dove.” The look he’s giving you paired with the tone tells you he’s completely serious. His eyes shift back down to his rolling tray, and he continues his task. “Then maybe I’ll think about rewarding you.”

You suddenly feel shy. Doing this on the phone felt entirely different than it does in person — laying in full view of him. There’s nothing to hide behind now, but you can’t say that you want to. You keep your eyes focused on him and slide your hand down the front of your body to where he was moments ago. Mimicking him, you feel the damp fabric between your thighs. 

Your legs fall open, but you hold off on removing your panties. He won’t admit it, but he’s having a difficult time staying focused. He pauses, his gaze lingering on you as you stroke your fingers over yourself. 

The front door to the house opens and slams shut. 

Josh is home. He wastes no time storming into the hallway toward the bedrooms. 

 “Goddamnit, Jake! You can’t just fucking leave the shop whenever you fucking please. Do us all a favor and at least answer your fucking phone. Sam and I just spent the last twenty minutes rescheduling your fucking appointments for the day, you fuckhea—“ Josh’s voice booms through the hall. He stumbles into Jake’s bedroom and it’s like someone pulled the plug on his brain the second he lays eyes on you.

You haven’t moved an inch since the door swung open. Your fingers stay frozen between your parted thighs while Jake continues to prep the wrap for rolling. It feels as though all the air has been sucked out of the room at once. You glance over at him, but his facial expression is hard to decipher. It’s somewhere between annoyed and amused at Josh’s flustered state. 

You had somehow pushed how attractive Josh is out of your mind this past week. His hair is the same as the last time you saw him, but stubble is starting to come in on his once clean-shaven face. He’s cropped a vintage David Bowie tee just at his navel, revealing the gold bar recently pierced in it. Your eyes fall even lower, taking note of the distinct contour of his bare hips - the fucking v-line that’s interrupted by the Calvin Klein band of his boxers. It’s a statement of its own, sticking out above his light-wash Levi’s in plain view. He looks so good you could cry. 

He doesn’t know what to do and you can tell he’s got so much to say or wants to say, but he can’t find the right words. 

After he’s accepted that you’re laying on Jake’s bed and not a figment of his imagination, he straightens, staring at you in complete awe. “Hey, baby.”

“Can I help you?” Jake interrupts. “We’re kind of in the middle of something.” 

Josh’s head whips around so fast in Jake’s direction you worry he might have pulled a muscle. His tight jaw muscles clench as a deep breath pushes from his flared nostrils. You hate how seeing him angry turns you on. “And so am I. I’m trying to fix things here.”

Jake scoffs but doesn’t lower the blunt he’s working on rolling. “You’re gonna have to do a lot more than just standing there gawking at her.” It’s like you’re not even in the room. “Now if you’ll excuse us, I’m about to smoke and…” He pauses, letting the grin pull at his lips, and looks up at Josh. “Fuck her until she begs for mercy.”

The cherry on top is Jake locking eyes with you while he licks across the open edge of the blunt wrap. 

Bastard.

The look they exchange worries you like they might throw fists at any second. “Why didn’t you tell me she was here?”

Jake huffs a humorless laugh, “Why the fuck would I do that?”

As much as you enjoy watching them bicker over you, you need to change the energy in the room. Fast.  “Josh…”

You effectively pull his attention, and his body releases some tension at the sound of your voice. “Yeah?”

“Come here,” you beckon him, keeping your voice inviting and soft while maintaining a sense of authority — even if it’s false. There’s a serious conversation to be had between you, but the both of you can’t bring yourself to care. 

You resume touching yourself just as before. While his amber eyes stay fixed on yours, you spot the erection growing under the denim. Josh stumbles, rushing forward like his brain is no longer in control of the movements. “Slowly,” you demand, making him stop a few feet from the foot of the bed. “Take off your pants.”

He yanks his shirt over his head and  scrambles to pop open the button of his jeans without protest, hooking both the band of his pants and underwear with his thumbs until you tell him, “Just your pants.” He doesn’t break eye contact as he kicks them down his legs and onto the floor.  

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jake’s mouth open to say something, but before he can spit out an insult or complaint, you shoot him a warning glare. 

As Josh starts to crawl onto the bed, the floodgates open with apologies, “I’m so sorry, baby. I was being an asshole and I didn’t mean—“

“Show me.”

He blinks and looks at you with confusion distorting his boyish features. “What?”

“Show me how sorry you are,” you repeat yourself, but with much more volition backing up your seductive tone.

Something flickers within those honeyed pupils. He lowers his head down and places a careful kiss on the top of your foot as if you were a timid animal that might spook and kick him. When he realizes that you won’t, he kisses you again, but a few inches higher on your ankle. “I’ve missed you, baby.”

You’ve missed him too. 

You don’t say it though. Instead, you act on your desires and dip your fingers around the lace, collecting your arousal as you glide across your clit. He peers up through his lashes as his hands slip under the massive duvet beneath your legs, sending waves of silk across you. His lips skate up the inside of your calf as he crawls onto his stomach between your legs. A sea of goosebumps rise across the surface while a low moan passes through your lips. Every point of contact from his lips sends a shock wave of electricity through your body. 

While you touch yourself lazily, he showers your leg with sloppy kisses until he reaches your inner thigh. You touch him for the first time by combing through his fallen curls with your free hand, giving him silent approval. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he mumbles the confession into the flesh. You can barely contain yourself with the anticipation ravaging every square inch of your body. You clench your fingers to satisfy the need, but it does little to suppress it. He’s so close that you’re almost touching him with your hand that’s moving under the lace. The heat of his breath fanning across your skin is like the first hit of a drug to your brain. 

Maybe Jake is right. You are addicted. 

He’s being extremely cautious with you, taking note of every one of your body’s responses to his touch. But when your breath finally shudders, he presses his lips to the back of your hand, stilling it almost instantly. It’s the only thing between him and where he should be. It’s been far too long since he’s been in this position and it seems to be driving him just as crazy as it does you. 

The self-control is undeniable with how his focus is fixed solely on your fingers. It’s only when you whisper his name that he glances up through his dark lashes. 

With his eyes locked on yours, he reaches between your legs and takes hold of your wrist, turning it ever so slightly to place another kiss at your pulse point. You wonder to yourself if he feels your blood pounding within your veins. His tongue breaks its way into the kiss, earning a pleased hum from you. He pushes farther and licks down the center of your palm, following a direct path along your first two fingers. 

“The way you taste,” he groans, holding your fingertips to the edge of his mouth. His eyes flutter closed as he slides them past his open lips, only to savor the taste of you. It doesn’t take long for his impulses to catch up to him. He rolls his tongue over your fingers, sending the metal ball of his piercing across the skin. 

You nearly break at this moment.  

You pull them from his mouth and cradle his face before letting out a shaky breath. “Do you think you deserve it, baby?” You ask, the sound of your voice barely above a whisper. 

“Please,” he buries his plea into your inner thigh while he wraps his hands around your thighs. He’s struggling to keep his composure, and it does nothing but turn you on that much more. 

“Help me take these off.” 

Josh’s eyes round with excitement just as his breath catches in his throat. You don’t need to tell him twice. He’s more than eager, hooking the band of your panties and sliding them down your legs within seconds. Once they are tossed, he settles between your parted legs to appreciate your naked beauty before him. 

Jake clears his throat from across the room, ripping the seams of your attention away from Josh. You expect him to be angry with Josh’s face centimeters from your aching pussy, but he’s not. He’s gotten up from his chair and is walking over to you, taking confident strides with his ego vibrating into the wooden floors where he steps. There’s a pair of handcuffs in his hand, but these aren’t those gimmicky fuzzy cuffs that are found in every sex shop across the country. They look real. 

With the metal cuff swinging from his finger and the devilish smirk playing on his lips, he approaches you with purpose even if the thoughts are muddled behind his dark eyes. 

A wave of anxiety washes over you until you remember the safe words he taught you. Josh, however, doesn’t seem to notice Jake’s looming presence as he approaches. He’s too distracted, and drives his hips into the mattress with a pathetic whine cracking from his throat, “Can I make you feel good, baby?”  

He’s groveling. All the power is stripped from his voice, and it sounds so fucking sweet. 

You are on the brink of giving in when Jake sinks a knee into the mattress and leans down to you.  He takes your hand and places the handcuffs in your open palm. “You need to make him work for it, dove.”

Oh. 

The metal feels cold to the touch, weighing far heavier than you expected. The look smoldering in Jake’s eyes tells you everything while simultaneously giving you the nudge of confidence you might not otherwise possess. 

“Please, baby. Let me make you feel good,” Josh repeats himself with more desperation laden in the words with a squeeze around your thighs.  

Jake is the one to break eye contact first. He sits on the edge of the bed, half-turned with his back to you as he goes on to light the end of the blunt. He tosses the lighter onto the nightstand, handing off the power to leave what happens next entirely up to you. You clutch that confidence tightly and look down between your legs. You brush the curls from his forehead affectionately, and in your most saccharine-sweet voice, you murmur,  “You really wanna make me feel good, Josh?”

At first, Josh looks utterly confused but stays silent. His weary eyes dart between yours, the handcuffs in your hand, and at Jake, until it clicks. The soft smile on your lips reassures him and he nods, granting you permission to continue. 

He gives his trust, offering you his hands by resting them across the softness of your belly, and watches you lock the first handcuff around his left wrist and then the right. You’re mindful not to pinch his skin as the grooved ends click into place, making sure they stay as comfortable as possible. 

He tests the feel of them by moving his hands, only to find he’s not given much freedom with the three-link chain connecting them. Remembering the anxiety you felt with Jake, and thinking he might panic, you ask, “Color?”

Without skipping a beat, he answers, “Green.”

 Jake makes sure to add another level of reassurance by wiggling the handcuff keys — a set of two hooked on a simple ring — and sets them on the nightstand in plain sight. If you weren’t overwhelmed enough already, Jake settles onto the bed next to you and starts to kiss your neck. 

It floods your conscience with memories from the first night you had fucked them in the tattoo shop. 

You watch Josh place kisses on your pubic bone, each one deeper than the last as he makes his way down your center. The warmth of his breath blankets you, causing your legs to tremble around his face. “This is what I dream about,” he mutters.

You believe he intended to take his time and tease you, but the second he has your pussy in his mouth, his primal urges take over. He licks across your clit and groans, sending vibrations into your skin. 

“Oh my god,” you moan, snapping your legs around his face. The tongue piercing rolling across you acts like a shockwave no matter how many times you experience it. 

Jake pulls in a long, steady drag from the blunt before offering it over to you. Thankfully, you’re in a clear enough state of mind to pluck it from his fingers and bring it to your lips. While you take the tiniest hit in fear that you might lose the fight of the fiery urge to cough, he holds his in his lungs as he starts to leave a trail of sloppy kisses up the column of your neck. 

Jake yanks the sheer cups of your bra down far enough to expose your breasts to him. He brings his mouth to the left one, and flicks his pointed tongue across your nipple, making it harden within seconds. To add another layer to your torment, he blows the stream of smoke he’s been keeping in his chest across them. It tickles across your wet flesh, hanging around your body like a thick fog that clouds your mind.

Josh must’ve breathed in the pungent smoke because he suddenly breaks contact and looks up. He gestures with his eyes to Jake’s hand. To your surprise, Jake responds with a silent nod and ashes it into the glass bowl on the table before placing the burning blunt between Josh’s fingers. He struggles to shift forward without pushing down on you but can bring it to his mouth. 

He takes in a slow drag, bringing the red-hot cherry to life. He barely reacts to the harshness, but you still see his face contort from the burn prickling his throat. Jake wastes no time taking it back, ensuring that the ash doesn’t fall on your bare skin. He doesn’t mind, he’s more focused on you than the blunt taken from his fingers. With a smile that melts your heart like chocolate in the warm sun, he shoots you a playful wink. And just when you think he’d push the smoke into the air above him, he lowers his head to blow it between your legs.

You writhe against the bed from the tickling heat creeping up your body. Just like the tobacco wrap of the blunt, you wish to burn that image into your mind forever. “Trying to get my pussy high too?”

“I promised I would make you feel good, didn’t I?” He giggles, reminding you of his charm as he seals his lips around your clit. 

Your answer takes the form of a ragged breath. He’s not holding back or easing you into a gentle orgasm. The desperation hasn’t disappeared with his spoken pleas. It thrives in his tongue with every secret drawn onto your pussy. He’s a starved man, deprived of sustenance for days and you’re his first drink of water.

The noises coming from between your legs are obscene, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You don’t even care how it makes Jake feel. Josh works on you with one goal in mind, making you come. The breath locks in your chest and your eyes clamp shut as the feeling within your core burns hotter. He suckles the bundle of nerves with unprecedented energy, lapping and rolling his tongue in a changing pattern of shapes across you. 

Jake’s lips brush the shell of your ear while his fingertips graze across your hardened nipples. The fry of his voice itching that spot hidden in your mind. “See how generous I can be?”

The weed is starting to take effect on your body, making your eyelids feel far too heavy to keep open. You let them close and fall back into the hidden corners of your mind while your body buzzes wildly like a pissed-off beehive from the combined high. Jake only adds to the bliss when his tongue massages deep into your skin before he leaves a teasing nip. 

“You’re not even looking at him, dove,” he sighs into the sweet spot tucked behind your ear. “I give you a little taste of power and you don’t even know what to do with it.”

You blink through the haze to see Josh straining. The restriction of the cuffs dividing his focus that would normally be set on only you. He’s working against the position, making sure to balance the weight of his arms across you. At one point he rests his head on the top of your thigh to collect himself. 

You’re not sure what compels you to weave your fingers through the sweat-dampened hair at the crown of his head. He hums at first, thinking it was an action of praise. That’s until you pull at his roots hard enough to make him groan from the sting. “Was it worth it?”

When you don’t loosen your fist, he lifts his head from you, leaving that aching feeling where his mouth was. Now that you have his attention, you hiss, “Did she fuck you better than me?”

If you were sober, the thought that’s been steeping in your mind might not have formed on your tongue. It might have even been embarrassing for you to mention it. But now that he��s between your legs, staring at you with those blown-out, frighteningly submissive doe-eyes, you just can’t help yourself. You feel Jake’s smile against your throat while those golden eyes burn coal black before you in a matter of seconds. He mumbles something under his breath as he buries himself between your thighs once again.

You tighten your grip and pull for a second time, causing a growl to push through Josh’s teeth. In a moment of clarity through your brain fog, you cock your brow and huff with an undeniable amount of attitude, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

Josh is taken aback by your words, and even Jake’s lips pause against your flesh. He collects himself with a steadying breath through his fatigued pants. “I said, ‘I didn’t fuck her’.” 

You stare at each other for a few beats of time, testing who will be the first one to break the silence. Just as you open your mouth to say something, he moves unexpectedly into a sitting position, causing your legs to slip from his shoulders. He scrambles to catch you but loses his grasp due to his hands being cuffed the way they are. 

You jolt upright, fueled purely out of sexual frustration, only for Jake to wrap his hand and the nape of your neck and pull you back. He sighs, softly rasping against your ear,  “My turn.”

“Ja—“

“On your knees,” he barks with authority with a gentle hand guiding you into a kneeling position. 

Josh raises his hands. “Are you gonna take these off now?”

“I dunno.” Jake scoffs with his usual flair of cockiness, fully aware that Josh could easily slide off the bed and unlock his cuffs within a minute if he wanted to. He knows he’s playing the game, and decides to make his move. “What do you think, dove?”

You hum, grabbing Josh’s hands to hold them within your own. You run your thumbs over the metal cuffs and down his soft fingers, feeling his rings and the smooth gel polish covering his nails. “I think they should stay on. They look good on you, baby.”

Your answer makes Josh’s hands tighten around yours, but Jake’s hasn’t released his from your neck. He squeezes them into the flesh, causing the shiver to run down the length of your spine. He adds to the feeling with his demand infiltrating your mind, “Get the hooks from under the bed.” You don’t move at first, hesitating for far longer than you should. “I’m not fucking asking.”

He smacks his hand across your asscheek, making you yelp from the harsh sting. You crawl to the side of the bed and feel for the restraints he had used for you before, secured against the bed frame. You unlatch it, and do the same for the other side. 

Josh watches you retrieve them, but the look in his eyes tells you he doesn’t know what to expect. “What are those for?” He asks with anxiety rising in his voice. He waits for an answer but your eyes staying on his cuffed hands connect the dots for him. “Are you serious?”

Jake loses enough patience to snap, “Do you want to stay or not?”

You act quickly to diffuse the potential fight by pulling Josh into a kiss. It catches him off guard, but he melts to the feeling within seconds. You break away enough to whisper,  “Do you trust me?” 

He smiles against your lips, answering in a bashful sigh, “Yeah.”

You capture him into another kiss, reminding yourself how much you’ve missed this — the taste of you lingering on his tongue as it sweeps across yours. He’s a lazy Sunday morning tangled in the pile of sheets, wrapping you in that sweet familiar comfort. You crave it more than you realize and find that you’re not willing to let that go.

 While he loses himself exploring your mouth, you take the opportunity to connect the hooks of the bed restraints to his handcuffs.  “Color?”

“Fucking green, baby.”

You sit back on your heels to admire the sight of him before you. He’s kneeling, now with the perfect amount of tension keeping his hands suspended no higher than navel height. Nothing is hiding what’s happening in his underwear. 

Jake has stripped out of his shirt and pants and returned to his place behind you. He presses his bare chest against your back while his hands roam across the tops of your thighs, paying special attention to his tattoo on the right one. 

Josh is already struggling to stay still from you being inches out of reach, his wrists fidgeting against the metal cuffs. Your breath hitches when Jake’s hand slides between your legs, his fingers parting your lips through a teasing drag. “So wet and ready for me.” His middle finger slides into your pussy with alarming ease, eliciting a muffled grunt into your hair, “Fuck, you’re so close, aren’t you, dove?”

You let go of the whimper and rock your hips to chase it, causing him to squeeze the hand resting on your hip and add another finger, stretching you out. Pleased with how you fall apart to his touch, he slowly starts to curl them inside you. You grind against his palm, writhing from the pleasure as you all listen to the slick sounds of his fingers inside you. If your eyes were open, you would have noticed him staring at Josh when he says, “You could come on my fingers right now if you wanted to.”

You could. There’s no denying it. You just want to hold onto the high for as long as you can, and he can feel you working against him. He draws both fingers out, leaving you with that dreaded empty feeling, “You don’t do you? You want to wait for me to fuck you, little dove?”

You claw at the back of his hand, digging your nails into the flesh with a pitiful moan cracking from your throat. He growls into your ear while driving his covered erection into the swell of your ass. You need it so bad, but he can’t resist teasing you by circling his fingertips around your entrance. “You want to come on my cock instead?” 

You curse his name, but the sounds that follow it are unintelligible. He chuckles, the breath of his laughter fluttering across your tacky skin. “Fucking music to my ears. Just say those magic words, pretty girl.” 

“Please, please, please,” you whine, hoping that the pitchy pleas will be enough for him to give you what you want. 

“Good girl.” His hand leaves your hip so he can pull himself free from his boxers. The shift of balance sends you forward into Josh. You hear the metal clink against itself as he strains to touch you. Just before he can, Jake wraps his hand around your upper arm, snatching you upright once more. There’s not an inch of space left between you, and the only thing your fuzzy mind can process is the velvety-soft skin of his cock brush pressing against your ass. “Aht! Your pussy is mine to play with tonight.”

Josh scoffs, “What?!”

Jake throws the verbal jab over your shoulder, “Do you need the ball gag too?” Josh’s mouth opens like he’s ready to argue back, but decides to close his mouth instead. 

You almost scold Jake, but his hand gently sweeping your hair from your shoulder shuts down the thought completely. His fingers dance down the length of your back, tracing the ridge of your spine — just to see you shudder. 

He then unhooks the clasps of your bra, releasing the lingerie from your body. You wiggle it down your arms, giving Josh a full view of your naked breasts. You watch his eyes widen and his mouth falls again.

“Fuck,” Josh breathes in shameless awe.

Jake wastes no more time, and dips his cock between your legs, lining himself up to nudge the tip at your entrance. Even if he chooses not to admit it, he wants this just as bad as you. He rocks his hips forward to slowly push into you, and as you’re stretched out little by little, he exhales through a breathy laugh, “Your pussy wants to swallow me up.” At the halfway point, he slides out enough to where only the head of his cock remains before bottoming out to the hilt in a single thrust. 

You both gasp in unison at the feeling of him filling you up, but the words fail to form on your tongue. He stills while buried deep, allowing you to adjust to his size, but you’re already fluttering around his length with how close you are. He keeps you upright on your knees with his left arm holding you below your breasts and his right hand finding its place between your legs. “You’re so fucking tight around me.” 

“Feeling good, baby?” Josh’s voice cuts through the fog enough for you to look up. Despite the internal battle within his mind, his expression stays soft for you. You keep your eyes on his and nod against Jake’s shoulder. “Just think about when I finally get you to myself again.”

Jake grunts, “Taking me so well.” His hips begin to roll, gliding in and out of you at the slowest pace possible. “Fuck, this pussy is so perfect. Like it was fucking made for me.”

You would tell him how good he feels if you could, but the only sounds are broken curses in the form of moans. You’re too preoccupied with bracing yourself on the very edge of your peak. You’re drunk off his cock and every thrust is another drink. Your inhibitions are long gone and the only thing consuming you is the need to have more of him. 

“I can feel how close you are,” Jake mumbles into your neck, kissing his way down to your shoulder. He matches the rhythm of his thrusts with the strokes of his fingers circling over your clit. 

You’re within seconds of crumbling apart in his arms. 

“Please, Jake. Don’t stop. Please, oh my god.”

“You sound so pretty begging for it. My beautiful whore.”

“Jesus, Jake,” Josh spits out, causing your eyes to snap open and see his shocked expression. 

But Jake isn’t bothered by his brother’s reaction, if anything, it only adds to his depravity. His fingers glide lazily over your clit as he coos softly into your cheek, “Tell him how much you love it, dove.” You’re more than distracted by the orgasm ready to unleash within you, but he doesn’t care. “Go on. Tell him how much your pussy cries for me when I call you my whore.”

He stops moving inside you and lifts his fingers away from your aching clit, making you cry out in frustration, “Are you fucking serious, Jake?”

“Tell him, and I’ll let you cum,” he demands with his cheek pressed against yours. 

He’s reduced you down into a whimpering mess, nearly bringing you to tears of desperation for release. There’s no holding back the confession that comes pouring out. “I love it when he calls me a whore.” 

“That’s right, dove,” he hums, skimming his lips along your flushed face as he rewards you with his movements again. He sinks his teeth into your cheek while giving your nipple a taunting pinch. “I had a feeling you would be a good listener.”

Your strangled moan fills the room, “Please, Jake. I’m so fucking close.” 

“I fucking love it when you say my name.” He spoils your clit along the grinding motion of his hips. You got one foot hanging off the ledge and he’s ready to give you that final shove.  “Give it to me.”

“Let go, baby,” Josh reassures you in a calming voice.  

Your body acts out of your control, succumbing to the tidal wave of your release. Your vision blurs through tear-glazed eyes, and the sounds around become nothing but static. The world might as well be crashing around you and heavenly bliss never felt so sinful. You spasm around his cock, locking him deep inside you. While he has to work to fuck through it, his fingers continue to rub across your over-stimulated clit. 

He shows his mercy by slowing himself down to a stop, pausing only for you to collect yourself. He’s nowhere near done with you, but Josh’s patience is thinning by the second. His cock is throbbing beneath the thin fabric of his boxer briefs and his wrists are beginning to turn red where the metal rubs against the skin. 

Jake’s ragged breathing gives away how close he might have been. He swallows it back and lets out a laugh, “You better touch him before he explodes in his boxers.”

“Fuck you, you prick.”

You lean forward to place a kiss on his neck, skimming your fingertips down his covered torso as your lips connect. You flick your tongue across his skin, tasting the salt of his sweat. His hands are restless, his knuckles brushing across your stomach. “Color?”

Josh stutters, “Gr-green. Baby, please.” His Adam’s apple bounces beneath your lips. “Let me—“ 

“Aht!” You nip at the thin skin of his throat, making him flinch. “You only speak when I ask you a question.” You rub your hand over his chest, feeling his racing heart beneath your palms. “Can you be a good boy and do that for me, Josh?” 

“Yes.” His voice cracks through the word due to your fingertips tickling across the lean muscles of his stomach. 

 You trace the flowers tattooed on his hips before drawing your path down his thigh. “You been this hard the whole time, baby?” He nods enthusiastically, pushing his hips forward in search of friction. Your fingers ghost his erection, and the way you’re teasing him might be considered cruel. “You’ve been such a good boy.” 

His cock twitches to the praise — another thing you’re going to become addicted to.  “You were so patient while you made me feel good.” 

Jake has barely moved until now, but he is not one to accept the idea of being forgotten. He reminds you that he is very much still inside you with a single powerful thrust. You fight the temptation and stifle back the moan threatening to break free. 

You kiss along his jawline and slip your hand under the elastic band of his boxers. Feeling across the warm, silky-smooth skin, a wet spot of fabric clings to the back of your hand as you find that the head of his cock is slick with precum. “You’ve made quite the mess, baby.” 

You brush your fingertips up and down the length of him, causing a violent shiver to roll through his body with a clipped moan breaking free from his lips. You hold him against the palm of your hand, cradling what can fit. “Oh my, you are sensitive.”

Jake’s hips start to pick up enough momentum to distract you. You might have Josh on his knees in front of you, but Jake is the one in control. He takes advantage of your pause by placing a kiss on your shoulder. “Has my little bird finally gotten used to her wings?”

You peek over your shoulder, seeing him for the first time since he’s been behind you like this. It’s too much to bear — his tanned skin glowing in the setting sun, the tattoos on his chest and arms, the tiny wisps of sweaty hair stuck to his forehead. It’s fruitless, but you force yourself to feign disgust despite his words causing your heart to flutter wildly in your chest. “Be careful or I might fly away.”

A crooked smile hooks the corner of his mouth, showing you his teeth before they sink into his bottom lip. That with the certain glimmer in his eyes that you’ve come to know quite well provides enough of a warning to you.

You pull Josh’s cock from his boxers, wrap your fist loosely around the base and start stroking him. “Are you gonna be good for me? Treat me how I’m supposed to be treated?”

He bucks his hips involuntarily, driving himself into your hand. You watch his eyes roll behind heavy lids as he answers you in a breathless whisper, “Yes, baby.”

You kiss the smooth plane of skin from his chin to his ear, leaving a trail with your tongue as you go. “You promise?”

You suck teasingly on his earlobe, feeling the cool golden hoop over your lips and tongue. He hisses, and just based on that sound alone, you know he would rip from the metal cuffs and fuck you mercilessly into the mattress if he could. “Fuck… fuck. Yeah, I promise.” 

His cock is so painfully hard in your hand that you almost feel guilty. “You wanna cum so badly, don’t you?”

Josh whimpers, the submissiveness of his cry making your pussy tighten around Jake. He notices and laughs with an air of cockiness that stains your mind, “See what you put him through? and he’s still on his knees begging for it.”

You shift your body, and thankfully Jake adjusts with you so you can lower yourself. Josh leans back as much as the cuffs allow and watches your every move. You know what he’s hoping for — for you to take him into your mouth and lick every spot of him.  You’re in control, which is rather contradictory given how Jake is pounding into you from behind. He’s just going to have to settle for the alternative. 

You look into his eyes while holding the weight of him in your palm. Your lips part enough for a long dribble of spit to fall directly onto his cock. He fights to keep his eyes open, but his brows are tipped up and sewn tightly together. You glaze him with a twist of your wrist, causing his entire body to shake beneath you. “Are you sorry?”

He huffs out a pained breath, “Yes! Yes… fuck, baby.” The muscles and tendons of his forearms flex against the restriction of his handcuffs —  each stroke of your spit-lubed hand pushing him closer to the edge. “Please. I’m so fucking close.”

You drop even lower, biting and sucking the sensitive skin of his stomach to leave a collection of splotchy love marks as you work him. Your mouth would be on his navel if the piercing was healed enough, but you settle on licking down the trail of hair to his cock instead. “Go ahead, baby. Come for me.”

“I’m gonna…” He trails off and his legs begin to tremble. His abs strain and spasm against your lips while the pulse within his cock becomes heavy in your grasp. You suddenly stop the movement of your wrists, but it’s too late for him to hold back. A frustrated gasp leaves his chest while ropes his warm cum paint yours. 

You’re not sure how much time passes before you release your hold on him, hoping to avoid adding to his overstimulation. Jake has been patient with you up until this point but ends it by weaving his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck and bringing you back up on your knees. 

“You ready to be filled like the whore you are?” His voice is seductive and sweet despite the crude words and stinging tension he’s putting on your scalp. “Covered and dripping in cum?”

You nod the best you can with his firm hold on your hair while squeaking out, “Yes.” Satisfied, he lets go to place a hand around your hip and an open palm to the small of your back.  

Josh does the unexpected and lowers his head to your chest to lick a stripe across your nipple. He peers through his lashes to see your shocked expression, offering you a smile before his tongue laps over your breasts. You place your hands on his shoulders to brace yourself as he works to clean himself off of you in rolling patterns of his tongue. He takes his time with no rush in sight as he makes his way up your neck, humming into your skin as he goes. 

His lips meet yours, delivering a hungry kiss and the taste of him to you. His orgasm offered little reprieve with how his tongue is dancing across yours. It’s broken by Jake’s hand around your throat, causing Josh to settle back on his heels to regain his composure. Jake then whispers directly in your ear, loud enough for only you to hear, “There will be a day where another man’s touch, his cock, the way he makes you cum… will never compare to me. Even him.”

You freeze in stunned silence, but Jake is unraveling quicker than the both of you realize, his collected pace faltering within a matter of seconds. His grunted curses are soon followed by a few staggered thrusts. With a final powerful pump of his cock directly into your cervix, he empties himself deep inside of you. 

You’re all left in a similar state —hearts pounding erratically while your lungs yearn for air. With the wave of euphoria dissipating at a rapid pace, Josh’s mood shifts instantly. A wave of clarity flashes before him, pulling the trigger to his anger that has been otherwise suppressed. He snaps with a dramatic thrash of his hands, “Can you get these fucking things off me?”

Flustered and taken off guard, you crawl across the bed, pulling Jake out of you as you do so. Jake hisses and curses under his breath but chooses to stay in place. You reach for the keys and unlock the cuffs, but Josh rips them off his wrists and tosses them across the room before you have a chance to remove them yourself. You recoil at the harsh sound of metal skittering against the hardwood. “What the hell?!”

Josh doesn’t answer you. He jumps off the bed without bothering to collect his clothes as he storms toward the door.  “Josh! Wait a min—“ You call out after him, only to be cut off by his bedroom door being slammed so hard that the walls of the house shake. 

You turn to Jake for answers — looking for anything to fix whatever just happened — to see that doesn’t seem bothered at all by Josh’s outburst. He’s laying across the pillows with an arm tucked under his head. He has taken the extinguished blunt that has been sitting in the glass ashtray and placed it between his lips. He notices your glaring stare and looks up at you, mumbling around it, “What?”

“You shouldn’t have said all of that.”

He relights the blunt and pulls in a calming drag. “It’s not my fault that he wants to pout like a child.” You scoff at his arrogant indifference and carefully slide off the bed. You find your underwear before anything begins to leak down your leg. You then grab your sundress and pull it on. He blows a cloud of smoke above him, “Where are you going?” 

“I’m gonna go check on him to make sure he’s okay, Jake.”

Now that he realizes how serious you are, he props himself up on an elbow. “He’s fine, dove. He’s being a baby because he knows I’m fucking right.”

You don’t bother debating with him over Josh’s mental state. You saw the hurt and anger in those caramel eyes. 

You need to mend whatever is going on. 

You walk out of Jake’s bedroom, but hesitant in front of Josh’s door, contemplating on whether it’s the best idea to try to talk to him right now. After mustering up whatever bravery you have left, you softly knock on the wood with your knuckles. 

You take the chance and open the door to find Josh sitting on the edge of his bed with his favorite bong in hand. Your heart sinks when he doesn’t look at you even after your back pushes the door closed. 

While he packs the bowl with a fresh pinch of green, you pad across the floor and slide onto the bed behind him. The muscles of his back tense to your touch when you wrap your arms around his midsection. 

Which fucking scares you. 

You kiss the top of his bare shoulder, causing the pained sigh to push out from his chest. Just before he brings his lighter to the bowl and his lips to the mouthpiece of the glass for the first hit, he says, “I think we need to have a serious conversation.” 

TAGLIST:

@gretavanbitches @dannyandthekiszkas @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @asparrowofthedawn @ageofnations @welightthefire @garbagevanfleet @lvnterninthenight @pennylanefics @writingcold @alexxavicry @gvfficrecs @jakeyboiiiiiii @doodle417 @richjaaasss @pr41sethemoon n @mamalikes-gvf @gretavanflowerpowerrr @joshskittytickler21 @jakekiszkasbabymama @fallonfatality @maddie-van-fleet @sarakay-gvf @josiee-gvf @milkgemini @sammiejane22 @gretavanbear @capturethechaos @welllauragvf @averagemisfit03 @myownparadise96 @givemeyourtots2 @gretavangroove @autopsy-im-ill @objectsinspvce @myownparadise96 @feilores @josh-iamyour-mama @givemeyourtots2 @joshkiszkasbigtoe @lightmylove-gvf @mydarlingdanny @shutupdevvie @twinszka @busybeingtrash @carlybubs @demonrat444 @high-fidelity1

[builtbybrokenbells]

Y/n finds herself desperately in love with Sam Kiszka with no sign of recovery. After months spent begging for a hint of reciprocity, she’s met with nothing but disappointment. Helpless with no hope for salvation, she resorts to drinking away his memory, and in turn only worsens her predicament. One messy hookup opens her mind to a whole different side of the friends she loves so dearly, and leaves her undeniably in lust with the worst possible person: his brother, Jake.

PAIRING: Sam Kiszka x f!reader, Jake Kiszka x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 190.8k | FINISHED

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ (list of full warnings within each chapter), love triangle, pregnancy scares, mentions of toxic parents/financial abuse, drinking, smoking, swearing, angst, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

DISCLAIMER: I do not know Greta Van Fleet or any of the members personally. This is all fiction and I will never claim otherwise. I attempt to keep all of my work 100% original, so please do not steal or take credit for my writing. As of right now, I aim to get chapters out on weekends, but it is not guaranteed as I do have a full time job and other responsibilities to attend to. Please be patient and kind to me. Do not mind any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, as I am the sole writer/editor for my blog and do miss things sometimes.

Pick your team - chapter 1-9 check in

Pick your team - chapter 9-11 check in

part one | teaser

part two | teaser

part three | teaser

part four

part five | teaser

part six | teaser

part seven | teaser

part eight | teaser

part nine | teaser

part ten | teaser

part eleven | teaser

part twelve | teaser

part thirteen

part fourteen

Epilogue

TAGLIST: if you would like to be added to the gold dust woman taglist, please feel free to send me an ask, pm me, or respond on this or one of the above chapters. if i do not respond, it is because the replies on my posts will only allow me to reply with my main account. i promise i will see it, and if i happen to miss you, don’t be scared to ask again!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: I am incredibly grateful for all of the support, likes, reblogs and kind comments I receive from all of you. I would be nothing without your support, and I do take the time to read and appreciate every reply and message, even if I don’t respond. Thank you so much for all you do, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy this story as much as I do 🫶🏻

all things gold dust woman:

playlist: spotify | apple music

moodboard:

[gretavanbear]

Behind The Steel

[a/n : h...hi..... i haven't posted in so long. i hope u guys enjoy this lil thing i wrote. i definitely want to do a part two at some point.]

His bike was always his most prized possession, the way he felt when riding it was an incomparable feeling. The first time he rode it was a life changing moment for him- the wind drifting through his hair, the roar of the engine. It was pure animalistic adrenaline that coursed through his veins; wanting to make her roar like he did was extremely exciting. Nothing could amount to how powerful he felt in the cage, feeling weightless and full of control. 

His best friend initially helped him build it, making it extremely safe to be in and ride around as crazy as he can get. knowing his biker friends, sometimes it really could get crazy in there. 

It became somewhat of a ritual to have cage meets at his house every last friday of the month, where all his friends and acquaintances would come and try out the cage. Sometimes they’d have their girlfriends stand in the middle, building on the anticipation of driving around them. Jake didn’t understand that; wanting someone to stand in a potentially dangerous setting for a couple minutes. Maybe because he saw himself as a lone wolf, him and his bike. How it was supposed to be. 

Sure, he’d see someone now and then but it was purely to let out everything that was bottled in, needing some release sometimes. 

As he were riding home, he thought about all the preparation for tonight’s meet. Had he ordered the keg? Yes. Did he get enough wood for the bonfire? Yep. He tended to worry for nothing, knowing his organized self; it was truly out of habit to worry over little things. 

Jake turned off the bike in his garage, making sure she was nice and safe inside. Naming her the beloved was something dear to him; his friends all giving their bikes something corny or sexy as they said, like “kitty” or “princess”. 

But the beloved was not just some sexy bike, she made him feel things, power. And she was much more special to him than just a method of transportation. As he started caressing her with the clean soapy rag, his phone interrupted his music and began ringing. 

“Jake?” it was Jeremy, his best friend. 

“Yeah?” 

“Dude… I’m so sorry but I can’t make it tonight.” Jake groaned, the meets were never the same without Jeremy. 

“Why? What’s up?” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes for a second- waiting on his dumb excuse. 

“My parents want me to go meet this mechanic professor because my name was brought up somehow during my dad’s company dinner. I don’t know.. they really want me to go” He explained. Jake paused for a second before responding. 

“That sounds like a great opportunity, Jere. Don’t feel bad, just don’t miss next month’s meet, yeah?” He smiled softly as he waited for his response. 

“Of course, dude. I promise.” He replied, saying bye and hanging up. 

Jake sighed as his music played once the call was over, washing his bike with intense care. Before he could even notice the time passing, people were already showing up to his house. Thankful to be living on a secluded area with a large piece of land, there were no neighbors to be bothered by. 

JAKE

As time flew by, people began showing up to your house, gathering in your back yard. The kegs were set up, the string lights were plugged in, and of course; the cage was set up. There was a row of bikes neatly parked by the side of your house, awaiting for their turn. Though you always went first, no matter what. You passed by your acquaintances and friends, greeting them with a big smile and telling them to help themselves to the keg or drinks inside. 

The bonfire was burning bright, illuminating your surroundings with a beautiful golden glow. 

You passed by your garage to get the beloved, her cherry red color standing out to you, making your heart race. You took her off her stand and brought her to the door of the garage, someone stopping you in your tracks. 

Jeremy’s sister. 

She was only a year younger than the both of you and even though it wasn't much of a time difference, Jeremy did not want her at your house especially during cage meets. Though there she was, looking up at you with a smirk as she leaned on the side of the door. 

“What are you doing here?” You pushed the bike stand down with your foot, resting your arm on the bike. 

“Brother’s out of town. Thought I’d be in the clear for a free show.” She spoke, crossing her arms. 

“You know you can’t, Jere wouldn’t want you here.” You state. 

“Yeah? Who’s gonna tell him?” she countered. You stood back a little in shock. 

“I will. You know how protective he is.” You sigh, looking down at the bike and then back at her. 

“Let’s make a bet, Kiszka.” You open your mouth to disagree but she continues talking. “If I can make one round in the cage with you, you can take me home. If I fail, you tell Jeremy and I’ll deal with him.” She says, confidently. You’re taken aback a little, her confidence roaming around the tight space of your garage. 

She’s always been around, even when you and Jere were younger. You’d always done your best to ignore her even though she was a hell of a tease, and now that he was away you saw it as your chance. 

“You know what? Fine. Let’s see you fail, darlin’.” You smirk, kicking the stand up and walking towards the cage with the beloved, her following you. 

As you arrived to the cage, you settled the bike inside, Y/N following you in. She stood on the red X on the floor, the old tape used as a marking for where people would get their partners to stand. She looked at you with a smirk, though you could see a slight shimmer in her eye. You knew she trusted you, but you were up for a challenge. 

You watched as she took her jacket off, throwing it outside of the cage, it landed on the ground. You zipped up your leather jacket, tucking your necklace inside your neckline. You gave her one good look before putting your helmet on, pulling down the eye mask. 

You could hear the metal gate close, locked shut. The voices cheering on the outside, the music playing faintly in the background. All these distractions but she was the only thing you could focus on. She wore a tight black longsleeve satin dress with some black combat boots, she looked fucking amazing. It just excited you even more. 

You could hear her sucking in a breath as you straddled the beloved, your hand on the handles. You turn her on and roar the engine, the adrenaline moving through you. You kick up the stand and begin circling her across the cage, slowly moving higher and higher as you increase the speed, taking your time with it. 

Once you feel stable enough, you take your right hand off the handle, and begin dragging it gently across her shoulder, increasing the speed of your bike, revving the engine even louder as you watch her jump a little, but you can tell your touch helps her nerves. You bite your bottom lip to contain your smirk- unsuccessfully. Your hand caresses her shoulders, her stomach, her chest slightly. She closes her eyes and smiles in content, which makes you go even faster. Her eyes open once again and you can feel them on you. Ten seconds left of your time in the cage, your hand drags against her whole body, god she feels amazing. 

You hear the loud horn that alarms you the minute is over, and you slow down, to a stop. Your hair is stuck to your forehead by the time you take your helmet off, but all you can focus on is the way she’s smiling at you, how beautiful she looks, how wonderful that dress fits her. 

“So? You gonna tell him?” She smirks, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

“I think I can keep a lil secret..” You sigh, smiling down at her. 

-

The two of you walked over to your driveway with the beloved. You had borrowed an extra helmet off a friend since you didn’t own another one. You knew where she lived, and it wasn’t far, but you were more worried about if you’d be able to contain yourself from not kissing her, the way she affected you was something you never felt before. 

You straddled the bike once again as she put her helmet on. “I’m going to hold my hand out so it’s easier for you to get on, you’ll need to hold on tightly because I’m going to be going pretty fast.” You said, holding your hand out. She took it and climbed over the bike, settling herself closely behind you. 

“Like that?” She asked. You smirked behind your helmet. 

“Closer, love. Wouldn’t want you sliding off..” You smiled. She scooted closer and you could feel her chest against your back, it made your heart flutter. Your hands made their way to the handles as you turned on the bike once more, beginning your journey to her house. 

As the wind drifted through the hair sticking out your helmet, your hand drifted to her thigh, caressing it a little. You felt her arms tighten around your waist, and her fingers slowly make their way to the hem of your jacket. You sucked in a breath, trying to focus on the road. Her hands slid underneath your jacket, underneath your shirt, until she caressed your chest gently. You wondered if she could feel your heartbeat, she probably could.. It was beating so fast. You let out a shaky breath and told yourself you’d be at her house soon. 

Parked. Finally, you kicked down the stand. She removed her hands from your shirt, and hopped off the bike. You also got off and removed your helmet, resting your ass on the seat of the bike as you faced her. She removed her helmet and shook her head a little, to let her hair loose. She nearly took your breath away, the beauty taking over. 

“Thanks for the ride.” She smiled, handing the helmet over to you. 

“Thanks for the massage.” You smirked. 

“Anytime” She said, stepping closer. You looked down at her, a slight shimmer in the reflection of her dark orbs. “I like riding with you,” She paused, leaning in. “It’s so…” She paused once more, her lips so close to yours. “Intimate.. Isn’t it?” She said. 

You nodded, your lips parted a little. 

“Are you going to kiss me goodnight, Kiszka?” She said, and you didn’t reply. You kissed her gently, her lips soft like satin, you could drown in them. She was so soft, like honey, a warmth you didn’t know you needed until right now. She pulled away so gently, almost as if she was afraid it would hurt you. 

“Goodnight.. See you at your next meet..” She smiled, waving a little before going inside her house, leaving you speechless.

{taglist:

@sarakay-gvf @positivegvfthings @brokenbells11 @krystalm98 @shutupdevvie @jordierama @​​maddie-van-fleet @writingcold @gretavanfleas @jakes-eyebrows @spark-my-nature @lek-gvf @rad-space-princess @joshkiszkatoothgap @hippievanfleet @objectsinspvce @gvfficrecs @ageoffleeet @welllauragvf @weightofstar  @groupiegirlie08 @fwzco @nicoleghost18 @andromeda-raine-gvf @sarrrahhh @ren-ni  @zoe-tally06 @hellowgoodbye @aminaalilyy @spinthehemmo @hippievanfleet @streamofgvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @gvfpal @gvfmarge @jakeygvf21 @Timeless—classics @mackalah  @myleftsock @bubblyjake @valvebone @lexii-nv-c @mp0801 @girldonttryme @risingwiththeheatabove @fakeplastiqtree  @beckahvanfleet }

[seenoversundown]

Helloooooo GVF Fic writers! Let’s get romantic with some Valentine’s Day writing 😍🫦 Prompts are below but the important stuff first! ((This is inspired by @hearts-hunger Halloween event 🫶🏻)) ❤️The Rules🩷

🩷Pick a prompt from the list below and write about it! The prompts range from sweet to a little spicy, but you’re welcome to adjust the spice level on any of the prompts. (Measure with your heart) On your post, please note which prompt (or prompts) you picked for your fic!

❤️This event is open to all GVF writers. (Even if you’ve never attempted to write before, feel free to join in!) If you’re a reader, show your love for GVF writers by liking their fics, reblogging them, and commenting in the reblog or even just in the tags. All fics from this event will be reblogged by me and added to a masterlist that will be linked in my bio!

🩷Fics can be written for any kind of pairings — x reader, slash, platonic, x oc, multi, whatever floats your boat! Any length fic is allowed (blurbs, oneshots, series) and all genres are welcomed! (From toothachingly sweet fluff to white knuckle gripping your bedsheets smut) 

❤️Please make sure to clearly tag any potential triggers in your fic — we want this event to be accessible and fun for everyone. Please also use the ‘keep reading’ in any fics that are longer than blurb length!

🩷Please be kind and respectful! This is simply to have fun and spread love. Don’t hate on others work just because you don’t care for it! Just scroll on my friend! 

❤️Tag your fics with #gvfvalentines — To be safe and so I don’t miss your fic, please tag me (@seenoversundown) so I can reblog your fic and add it to the masterlist!

🩷The deadline is February 14th, but I’ll be more than happy to add fics to the masterlist any time before or after Valentine’s Day if you post sooner rather than later! (But later is better than never💕)

• Picnic

• Bowling

• Cooking (together / for the other person / a class)

• Movie Night

• Spa Day / Night

• Wine Tasting

• Go out to a fancy dinner

• Scavenger Hunt

• Watch the sun rise / set

• Go dancing

• DIY Boudoir Photo Shoot

• Facetime date (if they're apart)

• Write each other love notes!

• Play Truth or Dare ( Could be spicy 😉 )

• …any romantic-Valentines Day inspired theme 🩷🤭 (feel free to tag me and I’ll reblog if it’s on theme honestly!)

tag your favorite writers or reblog to spread the word!