#had the last couple of days off work

[catsafarithewriter]

A/N: part 15 of the double fake dating au :D

X

It was only when all eyes turned to her that Haru realised she'd actually said that thought outloud.

"Oh my goodness gracious!" exclaimed Louise AKA Baron's sister AKA Haru's new sister-in-law. "And this must be the infamous Mrs Haru von Gikkingen!"

Haru found herself swept up in am embrace comprised of a surprisingly strong grip and an excessive amount of sleeves. Really. It was a feat in of itself that Louise could somehow locate her own hands.

When Louise drew back, Haru was treated to eyes as blue as Baron's were green. "You may have noticed," she said conspiringly, "but the ladies here are a little outnumbered by the men."

"When you say it like that," said the tortoiseshell, "you make it sound like that was the reason you married me."

Louise glanced back to her wife. "It wasn't the only reason," she teased. "Oh," she added, turning to her brother, "and this is my ex-girlfriend."

"You have to stop introducing me that way," the tortoiseshell chided. She leant forward and offered a paw. "Sephie von Gikkingen. Louise's wife."

Baron took the paw first. "Humbert von Gikkingen. Have we... met before? You seem familiar."

There was a playful glint in Sephie's eyes as she replied, "You'd be surprised how often I hear that."

Haru's mind finally caught up to Louise's earlier wording. "I'm infamous?"

"But of course!" trilled Louise, evidently delighted to be the one to break the news. "My baby brother–"

"You're older than me by ten minutes."

"–turning up with a wife no one knew of until the week before? Scandalous!"

"Says the woman who didn't even deign to tell her own twin brother she was getting married," Baron reminded her.

"Yes, but that's me! You're meant to be the sensible, predictable one. Everyone expects me to do something charmingly rash and irresponsible, but you?" She raised a hand to her heart, the very picture of older sister pride. "It's finally happened. My bad influence has rubbed off on you."

Haru sidled round to Louise's wife, who hadn't lifted a claw to deter the squabbling, and seemed to be only regretting her lack of popcorn.

"Do you have siblings?" Sephie asked.

"No. Just me."

"I'm also an only child," Sephie said. She watched the proceedings with unworried curiosity. Baron had begun recounting the cape incident in some bizarre attempt to prove he could make bad decisions free of his sister's influence. "I rather get the impression this is a sibling thing."

Another handful of moments passed, in which the conversation inexplicably moved onto Louise accusing her brother of trying to upstage her marriage with his dark horse of a wedding.

"I think this might just be a von Gikkingen thing," Haru replied.

[welcometogrouchland]

I like to think that when the batfamily inevitably runs out of money and jobless Bruce, Tim, and Dick* find themselves in financial need, Steph reveals that she's made thousands of dollars taking odd jobs around Gotham City that we just never saw bc Steph hasn't been in a comic for months. Nobody checked in on her and while they weren't looking she made 6 grand babysitting and playing piano at a local theatre. Bruce has to grovel for enough money to buff out a scratch on the batmobile and Steph is revelling in it. This is the closest she's ever going to get to being a supervillain

*(Cass and Jason don't need money to survive on account of being homeless as kids + Babs funds Cass' basic needs and Damian is on his mom's payroll, same w/ duke even if it's obvs not al ghul money)

[kreftropod]

Decided to attempt a BG3 Honor mode run a few days ago. Been going pretty well so far with only a few close calls. I did, however, for some surely very clever reason also decide to make it a Dark Urge run. This miiight come back and bite me very, very soon.

[bottom-lexa]

Me thinking about Tarnished and the Werewolf au:

[deathsmallcaps]

I work as the person in an amusement park who watches the children who get lost. Here’s some advice. This also applies to any mentally disabled adults that are under your care. Keep in mind that many places will not look for a minor ages 13-17 unless it is close to closing or they are disabled, as corporate considers it a strain on resources and employee use.

1. Teach them your phone number. Best gift you can give them. I’m not supposed to have my phone out at work but I can cut down dependent’s being-lost-time by probably 400% if I can contact you. It also assures the children That We Are Doing Something and that They Are Helpful and Smart. If your dependent has a poor memory, apparently writing your phone number in sharpie and then covering it in nail polish makes it stay all day, even if they’re sweaty or getting in the water. I haven’t tested this but I’ve heard a lot of moms recommend it. I’ve also seen bracelets with little plates or the beads saying the phone number.

Addendum: your dependent may tell you that they know your phone number, but they actually only know your passcode. True story. This summer has been a lot better, but last summer exactly one child the entire season knew his mom’s phone number.

2. Acknowledge that dependent’s memories are faulty, especially in new places. If you tell them to meet you in X spot or that your stuff is all in Y place, they may not remember where it is or remember how to get there.

3. All dependents, but especially little ones, have shit time sense. They might find your stuff, wait there for a minute or two, and truly believe that they’ve been there for an hour. Half the small kids that are brought to me are ones who *know* where their stuff is, but haven’t seen an adult they know personally in 5 minutes, so they’re going to panic.

4. Don’t take naps!!! And don’t let your dependent go anywhere you can’t go or at least go where you catch them at the end!!! Yes you’re staring at the play structure your dependent entered, but can you see them? No? Then there’s a good chance they went elsewhere. So many of the littler kids that are brought to me are brought by genuine, good-hearted strangers who see lost children and take them by the hand. Away from the spot you’re napping in front of/staring vaguely at.

5. This might just be something from my work, but we will not call dependent’s descriptions over the loudspeaker. This is because if an asshole were to see your dependent, hear the description, know it’s a lost dependent, and decide to steal it, they can then use the excuse, “I know where your guardian is! Come with me!” And then lead them out of the park or toss the dependent over their shoulder. Do you know how many crying and screaming dependents leave the location every day? A lot!!! We’re a fun location!!! We’re not going to know if the dependent is screaming because they don’t want to leave or if a stranger is taking them away. We might call the description over the loudspeaker if it’s past closing time and the dependent still isn’t found. But before that, we will only report it over secure radios across the park.

6. Tell a park worker right away. Preferably someone with a radio. Even if you spot the dependent within the next minute, that means the dependent will have less being-lost time. Especially if we already have the dependent with, you guessed it, me. Also please tell us when you find the dependent.

7. Take a picture of your depdendent at the start of the day! That way security guards can have a good idea of what to look for. One mother told me her daughter was blonde and showed me a picture. Her hair color looked brown to me, but then I knew what to look for in the crowd.

8. Keep at least one person in your group in one spot at all times, especially if you don’t have access to your phone or forgot to give out your phone number to the guards. That way they can find you if they pick up the dependent. If you are the only person in your group, then PLEASE stay in one place or at least stay with ONE security guard. It sucks for the dependent if they can’t find you right away even if the both of you are looking for each other and a guard is helping them. You are NOT helping if you panic and run around. And keep your goddamn phone on you and answer calls from unknown numbers!!!!! God. This is a good time to do that.

9. If you lose your dependent in an attraction like the lazy river at a water park, and you have that ONE person staying in place, then this is what you can do with 1+ mobile people.

A. If only one person can be spared to be mobile, have them pick a spot and stay right there, watching the river go by. Eventually, if the dependent is in the river, they’ll go by.

B. If you have two people that can be mobile, both start at the same place in the river and go opposite directions. If you meet up again without spotting the dependent, well, they’re not there.

C. If you have more than 2 people, you can do B but also station different adults at the lazy river entrances/exits.

10. Don’t blame the dependent! Even if they ran away and/or are pissy that you’re upset once you all reunite, trust me, there’s a 99% chance they’re upset too. Yes, this is a good time to have a serious conversation with them. Yes, if this is a repeated problem, and/or you warned them you’d leave the park if this occurred, you should not back down. But also - they’re dependents. They’re not stupid, and they should be told consequences and dangers so they can make good decisions, but they will never have the adult/guardian perspective that you do. Be kind.

Also please for my sake teach them if they’re brought to someone like me, that it’s THEIR job to be safe and listen to me while us park workers look for you. It’s YOUR job to find the dependent, not the dependent’s job to find you. I had a six year old little girl genuinely toddler-howl at me because she wanted to go look for her mom. I’ve never before heard a kid her age howl like that. I can trick kids out of crying 9/10 times but howling came as a surprise lmao. I think I can manage it now that I’ve experienced it but damn.

Also make sure those kids are DRINKING. Being in a water park is NOT the same as drinking water. They should be drinking every 15 minutes at LEAST, I am NOT kidding.

Also if I call you to tell you your kid is here, please don’t call or text me back after you have the kid. I’m sure other places have phones for these types of things but the only one I have is my personal phone. And I am happy to get the kid off my hands and into your arms, but I’m using my personal phone so plz. Don’t call me back. Absolutely call me if you need directions to my ‘office’ in the park. Don’t call or text me after. I have stories about that hoo boy but this post is already long.

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[saturdaymournings]

ohoho boy tomorrow is gonna be so bad but yanno what I’m gonna be a brave little guy and I’m gonna treat myself to back to back bath days so it’s all gonna be good in the end. Today was so bad today was fucking dreadful but there will be a way !!!!! I have to remember the small joys I have to stay strong

[skelecentral]

“Eepy….”

Forever incomplete painting

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya is definitely the sort of parent who prefers to sleep in the same bed as his baby.

[steviescrystals]

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[keeps-ache]

💫💥today💥💫 i start learning blender >:| !!

[boyobjectifier]

i’m so grumpy recently ugh

[call-me-pup2]

Does someone need to kidnap you and lock you in their basement and make sure you take your vitamins?

That sounds like a fantastic idea! Shall I pack a bag ready or maybe it'll be more of a surprise thing 🤔

[fettery-fetterie]

I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better

Had some fundamentals been challenged further

Had the right words be spoken

Had they didn't go all in

It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable

Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed

[toastsnaffler]

I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚

[daydadahlias]

Omg I just saw your post about having to fill out a student alert form. Are you ok? Are you safe?

hi Dee :) ok so,,, some Jess lore right now is that I am currently being <3 stalked <3 a little bit irl. which is obviously not great lmfao and I am nOt loving it but I'm safe and I'm ok !!! my life is not in danger. it hopefully will not progress any further now that I've talked to my boss about it and she made me file a student alert form abt the whole thing but !! yeah. it's been. a very frustrating few weeks here in the real world :/