#haechan crack

[twilghtkoo]

telling my boyfriend my tampon is stuck . . .

pairings. haechan x reader (f)

genre. crack, fluff? established relationship

warnings. mentions of period blood lol

note. i've wanted to do this one for awhile lol and i finally had time to write this quickly so sorry if it's short, like and reblogs are vv much appreciated !! enjoy <3

[ series masterlist | masterlist ]

-

"babe?" you call out quietly, sounding nervous, from the bathroom.

you hear rustling in your bedroom. "yeah," he responds.

"can you come here please?" you wait patiently, swaying on your feet.

he appears a few feet away from the doorway. "what's up, baby?"

with him now standing in front of you, you're not sure how to go about this and you have to fight your inner self from bursting out into fits of nervous giggles.

you start fiddling with the rings around your fingers. "umm, i can't get my tampon out. it's stuck.."

his mouth slightly opens as he glances down then back up at you. "oh god, the string is gone?" he slightly chuckles but inches towards you, reaching with his hand to softly grab onto your elbow.

his reaction has you both chuckling a bit. "yeah, it's pretty far up there. i'm scared."

he nods, "okay, i'll get it." he replies, as if this was a normal occurence.

"no, no wait. it's bloody and gross."

he blinks. "so? i'll wash my hands first, you should lie down- wait i'll set a towel down for you. let me grab a flashlight-"

your head snaps towards him, grabbing his hand from leaving the room, with your eyes wide. "a flashlight? wait, no it's scary." you back away, laughing out of fear.

"baby, trust me i'll find it. we don't wanna leave it in there do we?" he quirks an eyebrow.

"well, no but-" he cuts you off.

leaving to grab a towel from the linen closet as he neatly places it down on the tiled floor. "i'm not walking into uncharted territory babe, don't you worry. take your pants off, lie down, knees up-"

"baby, wait!"

[naids4luv]

BALLING INTO LOVE : a haechan smau

synopsis : l/n y/n is known to get along with almost everyone on campus, lee haechan is known for his extrovertedness and his lack of personal space. what happens when these two well known students have a bit of an.. incident during their first encounter ?

pairing : lee donghyuck x fem!reader

featuring : 7dream, aespas ningning + giselle, sunghoon, chaewon and beomgyu

genre : mostly crack/humour, fluff, perhaps some angst, college au, one sided beef + one sided pining, soon to be mutual pining

extras : death jokes, swearing, haechan is a little unbearable towards reader, reader is lowkey stubborn, lmk if I need to add anything else, ignore how uncreative the photo is, feel free to give me advice or feedback!! also lmk if u wanna be apart of the tag list

playlist : just one day, bts - out of time, the weekend - love me back, fromis_9 - in my dreams, red velvet - best mistake, ariana grande - the weekend, sza - thirsty, aespa - pasilyo, sunkissed lola

status : ongoing, will update when i can/feel like it,, WONT BE POSTING CONSISTENTLY

started : 31/12/23

ended : ...

all parts under the cut😽

profiles : (1) + (2)

chp 0 : 127 opps

chp 1 : balled too hard

chp 2 : dont hmu... real ones know

chp 3 : h*****n’s friend

chp 4 : stay safe out there women🫶

chp 5 : I!!

chp 6 : i did it😁 (wc : 1629)

chp 7 : she is the drama

chp 8 : 😍😍😍

chp 9 : lowk think i’m wrong

chp 10 : ...

chp 11 : …

[najaemism]

we never go out of style!

PAIRING. haechan x fem!oc

CATEGORY. short smau, fluff, crack, humor, celebrity!au, athlete!haechan, singer!reader, strangers to lovers-ish

WARNINGS. language, hyuck being downbad

SYNOPSIS. what happens when one of the famous professional volleyball players of the country publicly shoots his shot at a global popstar? well, she shows up to his game with his mother, of course! [or alternatively: the whole world watches as a popstar and an athlete fall in love.]

STATUS. on going!

NOTE. this is based on the recent… taylor news… hehe 🤭 i know very little about volleyball (everything i know i got from haikyuu tbh) so im sorry in advance 😭 this will just be short, probably around 3-5 parts only! ignore timestamps!

— playlist!

PARTS!

min’s circle | hyuck’s circle

01 : just give him a chance!

02 : meanwhile

03 : quietly hanging out

04 : used to this

05 : ???

TAGLIST. closed.

[neoswift]

back to december

PAIRING.    haechan x reader CATEGORY.    filo social media au, one shot, crack, humor, exes to ??? WARNINGS.    language SUMMARY.    mapapa-"i miss your tan skin, your sweet smile" ka na lang talaga.

NOTE. happy back to december season! HAHAHAHA honestly di ko alam ano to natripan ko lang 😭 enjoy!

TAGLIST. @archivedmkl @nctasdfghj @wooyoung-a @morkleetrash @kkotjia @i-aecrysture @injunified @smolpeyy @pepperrye @hibuki-chan @hannie-dul-set @chanfilms @yiz-yo @anya-writes-stuff @w0nderr @mihyu-ckie @remisaki @fullsunld @main-figuresk8-sunghoonie @dejavukirstein @seijenoh @renjun-pretty @skzbeyleynjasnct @yoitbb @najaeminluvbot @hazyru @lune1897 @heynayu @chimajeyn @rensaure @13isacoolnumber @liljeongseong @marahuyornjn @eureah @markleepooh @000rpheus @nanayogurt @luvenshiti @j-8star @flovezen @jaeyuuns @yoonhanzjaem @ssuungchans @shairamaexx @hibernatinghamster @roseltgiri

[dongfuck]

Pink Venom - l.dh (Preview)

pairing: manipulator playboy!donghyuck x fem!reader

fic genre: smut, angst, fluff

teaser warnings: cheating, manipulation

teaser wc: 626

teaser song suggestion: B.S - Jhené Aiko

“there’s only one person in the whole world that i want; and that’s you y/n. you’re the only one i want.” haechan cupped both of your hands with his palms as he stared into your eyes. bullshit. you wanted to roll your eyes obviously at him but you had to keep your cool so you acted as if you were effected by his ‘confession’. “donghyuck, i… i’m so sorry for accusing you of such things! i-i just didn’t know what got into me… we all know you’re a great guy and would never do anything of the sort. right?” you mocked with fake apologies as you silently hoped that you don’t burst out laughing.

“never. i’m yours and yours only.” he smiled before you smiled back. “you’re mine and mine only.” oh how you wished you could’ve landed a smack right in his face where he holds his smile.

oh it’s a different girl this time. you were walking to class with your best friend, romi, when you thought you spotted two familiar figures. so, what you did was you shooed romi away and followed them. you followed them until they lead you to… an empty corridor?

you hid next to your twin brother’s locker, jeno, to take a better look at the two. unbelievable. you knew haechan was a cheater, playboy, pervert, but you didn’t know he would go as far as making out with your own lecturer?? you had your jaw hung wide open before you forced yourself to close it shut. you weren’t hurt, you were just shocked. so shocked to the point where you’d almost laugh out loud if it wasn’t for the fact that they would hear you.

you quickly ran to the lecture hall and took the reserved seat next to romi. “you’re late. lucky for you. mrs. huang hasn’t entered yet. quite odd if you ask me. anywho, where’d you go?” romi interrogated. “you wouldn’t believe me if i tell you.” you had an upside down smile on your face as your eyes stood trained on the seat in front of you. “oh come on! is it haechan again?” she groaned and slammed her hands on her thighs. you only nod in response. “oh my god! what did he do this time?! why haven’t you confronted him yet?!”

“oh calm down, mi. it’s not like it’s the first time. but what’s more shocking is that,” you looked around the hall before lowering your voice an octave and turning to face romi. “he was cheating on me with our own lecturer, mrs. huang.” you pulled your head back to maintain distance between the two of you as you laughed at the look on romi’s face. “what the fuck—”

and in that moment, the doors of the lecture hall were pushed open widely before in came mrs. huang as haechan was seen trailing behind her slowly. “speaking of the devil.” you heard your best friend mutter from your left. the said boy walked towards your row of seats before he took a seat next to you and settled down his things. “hey baby.” he leaned down and planted a kiss softly to your lips. “did you start wearing lip balm? tastes like watermelon.” you said sarcastically. you know haechan doesn’t like wearing lip balm.

“haha, yeah i just bought it recently.” he scratched his nape nervously. “you should wear it more often. it suits you.” you landed another peck to his lips before turning to mrs. huang who was busy apologising for being late. with your sharp vision, you can confidently say that you saw smudges of red around her lips and you knew the source.

oh it’s game on lee donghyuck. it’s too late now. i know everything.

Part one

[chenfleur]

ΒLUΣ MΩΩΠ ☾

5.5 ☾ — do it again

volleyball player!haechan x dancer!oc

summary. - in honour of the blue moon this year, the student parliament decided to hold a blue moon gala for the school. along with that, they created an activity. you pay $1.50 for either a lock or key. each lock and key have a pair with the opposite pendant (you would know if they were your partner if the key can unlock the lock). the person you pair with is your partner for the gala. mina thinks it’s fucking stupid. donghyuck, well—he’s always looking for some excitement in his life—but deep down he just wants someone who doesn’t like him for just his reputation.

taglist. - @oc-helps @philanarose @softrenjunnie @ourbeautifulaffair @luvdroids @lokideadontheinside @nycol-ie @02jwi @tyongf-sunflower99 @resceluwu @haknyeonsju @grassbutneo @prdshobi @see3milyblog @daegalfangirl @xtra-cheese @r3niun @yuthereal-mp4 @scoups-of-sugar @y3jiishot @beomslonghair @constantinopleo @miercerise @youngestdelacour @dandelionxgal @thesunsfullmoon @tw-hyuck @cupid-yuno @your-local-emo-boy @jkjkseo @lovecherrytion @hibernatinghamster @riceballsandanime @tamakofever @faefullsun @shineoko @tojisgrossworm @sehunniepot @jisnoir @polarisjisung @shxnz @rocarecs @calumsmut @rosabella1009 @sundamariis @shwizhies @neosdaisy @rllymark @grayskies5 @antiv3nus @idontwanttobeheretoday @jeongintwt @j-hooopppeeee // send an ask if you’d like to be tagged/removed from taglist! cannot tag - @haechansgfreal @sunflower-ness @juune04 @sol123recs @vapingcandy

a/n. - i hate school. like i HATE school i fucking HATE IT

𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔. | 𝒏𝑒𝒙𝒕.

𝑏𝒍𝒖𝑒 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏 𝒎.𝒍𝑖𝒔𝒕

Control. You’ve done this a million times and more, you can do it. 

Breathe. Timing. Aim-

SWISH.

Into the net. 

Again.

An angry sigh rips through the air immediately, making the tense air even thicker than before. 

The typically prideful, confident boy’s knees buckle. He doesn’t dare look up and meet the pair of furious eyes he knew were staring straight at him.

“Donghyuck.”

The boy still doesn’t look up, instead bending over with his hands on his knees and gaze on the ground. He’s panting a little, frustration building up to a tipping point.

“That is the fourth time, Donghyuck.” 

Mark’s voice is uncharacteristically sharp, devoid of any sympathy. It bounces off the walls of the expansive gymnasium, ringing in Donghyuck’s ears. “Are you planning on losing us four points to faulty serves at qualifiers or what?”

Any words are blocked from leaving his throat; all he can do is meekly shake his head. 

“I’ve seen you serve probably thousands of times. You’re incredible, Hyuck, and yet you’re going to stop when it actually matters?” 

“No,” Donghyuck manages to grit through his teeth. 

The whirring sounds of the large fans on the ceiling aren’t enough to conceal Mark’s loud sigh. “Do it again. Properly, please.”

The blue and yellow ball is placed into Donghyuck’s view again by Jisung’s slightly shaky hands. Donghyuck takes the ball from the younger boy, giving him a slow, lazy nod when he hears him whisper a small word of encouragement. Returning to his position at the back of the court, the boy lines up once again.

He aggressively dribbles the ball against the ground, letting the object roll around in his fingers before holding it firmly in his grip. His eyes are trained on the top of the net. He’s not even worried about aiming at this point; all he wants to do is get it over the net. It’s a goal that makes him want to die when thinking about how far he’s regressed at the moment, but he can't deal with the utter humiliation of having it go into the net again.

Control. Breathe. Timing. Aim-

The doomed swishing noise is like deja vu, and Lee Donghyuck crumples to his knees.

The silence is deafening. Mark hadn’t even bothered to give him a disappointed sigh this time—all Donghyuck can do is drag his hands down his face in defeat.

Why couldn’t he just get it right? He can serve in his sleep and everyone knows that—so why did he suddenly want the ground to open up underneath him and swallow him whole?

A hand suddenly enters his field of vision, encircling his forearm and tugging him up. Donghyuck lets himself get pulled up like a limp doll, not resisting in the slightest.

“Come on. You need to refresh your mind.”

Renjun's quiet murmurs reach Donghyuck's ears, the latter wordlessly complying as he's tugged across the floor and toward the changeroom.

As soon as they pass through the threshold of the changeroom, Renjun shoves Donghyuck onto one of the benches. The brown-haired boy winces lightly before letting his eyes shut, not wanting to stare at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling.

Renjun doesn't wait for Donghyuck to relax, questioning him immediately. "Dude, what the fuck was that? Five times?"

"You didn't have to bring me all the way into the change room to yell at me, you know."

"No, Haechan, you're making everyone fucking nervous- what's going on? Tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wron-"

"Cut the shit, Hyuck," Renjun says with exasperation, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Is this because of Mina?"

Donghyuck's jaw clenches. His gaze flits up to look at his friend.

"Why would this be about her?"

A moment of silence passes by as the two boys do nothing but stare at each other with squinted eyes and furrowed brows. A small pit of emotion swirls at the bottom of Donghyuck's stomach at the mention of the girl's name, and Renjun can't help but let out a sigh.

"She told me about your fight."

Donghyuck's eyes narrow. "It wasn't a fight."

"Who cares what it was? You're upset about it."

"Why are you assuming that I'm upset?"

The boy opposite him shakes his head with frustration and impatience. "Hyuck, stop lying! I know you don't want it to be, but it's written all over your face that you're upset. Can't you just admit it?"

"If you want me to admit that I'm hurt, then sure. I'm hurt."

Renjun's demeanor softens, a slow puff of air leaving his lips. "Tell me more. It's clearly bothering you past the point that it can be left alone."

Throwing his arms in the air, Donghyuck casts a glance to the side. "I don't- I don't fucking know, okay. I know it's all sappy and shit to say this but I care about my friends. I really do care and holy fuck does it kind of sting when one of them straight up tells me she doesn't want to be seen with me? Because it'll cause her trouble? Like I don't know if I should just accept that and keep going. It really doesn't seem like something that should hurt, so why does it?"

The boy can't help but let out a humourless laugh at how utterly stupid he feels. All she did was tell him that she didn't want to be seen with him in school—they could still hang out, it shouldn't make any difference where the two of them were.

Or maybe it's the feeling that they could never be close, or at least close in a way that held value to it. Donghyuck's never had to wait that long or try that hard to simply be friends with someone, and maybe it wasn't just him not making the best first impression or her having a hard time trusting people.

Maybe she just doesn't care as much. Maybe he mattered less to her than he... than he thought he did, and if they were in a room full of people, she wouldn't choose him.

Donghyuck blinks slowly.

[toothfa-1-ry]

Bringing back Haechan's i c o n i c bowl cut ✨✨

♡ one reblog, one heart for Haechan's bowl cut era ♡

[taetr4ck]

PLEASE MAKE MORE NCT 127 TEXTS AS RANDOM ASS JOBS 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

NCT 127 AS YOUR UBER DRIVER TEXTS !

uber driver!nct 127 x reader, no warnings — crack. taglist form.

a/n : YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND ANON 🫡 i actually love making these so much these are just so.. unhinged 😭🙏🏻 also ty, mark, and haechan’s aren’t mine! (at some parts lol)

taglist : @soul-is-a-strange-kid @haechansbbg @bath1lda @k-labels

⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023. / requests open

[meowmk]

nct crack tweets (pt1/?)

[naids4luv]

hii can i request y/n taking her bf to meet her parents.. and then she leaves him alone with them for a bit and he starts stressing about what to say to them

! leaving dreamies alone with your parents !

this was really fun to write LMFAOOOO thank u for requesting !!🫂🫂

[najaemism]

we never go out of style! [01]

PAIRING. haechan x fem!oc

WARNINGS. none

SYNOPSIS. what happens when one of the famous professional volleyball players of the country publicly shoots his shot at a global popstar? well, she shows up to his game with his mother, of course! [or alternatively: the whole world watches as a popstar and an athlete fall in love.]

— fake subtitles!

01: JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE! | prev / materlist / next

NOTE. sooo lumine’s ex of two months is just some nameless dude… but know that he was shitty and is the m*tty he*ly ex :p the ex that she dated for 3 years however…….. you’ll find out soon enough 🤩 also, her fans are called lumieres! it’s cute idk 😔 HAHAHA

TAGLIST. @radiorenjun @bluejaem @pink-but-rosie @renjun-pretty @holdinbacksecrets @rynshyuckies @jelllyjae @jenyongcas @whyisquill @beemarkie @morkxlee @hibuki-chan @moonwalkun @lyyhyuck @baekhyunstruly @lilacdreams-00 @ridinhyuck @archivedmkl @najaeminluvbot @rensiu @morkleetrash @neo444 @hrjchive @keemburley @soobin-chois @yiz-yo @juune04 @nctasdfghj @studywoo @jun5ui @smolpeyy @kkotjia @yoonhanzjaem @en-boys @stopeatread @goldryush @hibernatinghamster @shwizhies @zgzgzh @bbymatz @eyantice @w0nderr @dinonuguaegi @neozon3nha @mnlylonely

[justalildumpling]

chapter 30: im coming for u

masterlist || previous | next

pairing: haechan x fem! reader

synopsis: it’s no lie that haechan only started his college matchmaking business due to his nosy personality. it’s also no lie that he was a little jealous of everyone he had helped out as he had no love life of his own. well, that was until his childhood friend moved back and mysterious love notes started appearing in his matchmaking inbox… addressed to HIM?!

genre: social media au, college au, fluff, crack, one sided pining, best friends to lovers

warnings: none??

note: ehehehe.... bet u didn't see that one coming🥴 (also osdjfoweb why is my tumblr tags not working?????)

taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :))) ~ @daincty @yipyipmorals @n0hyuck @loveholicness @najaemin138 @kpopwh0r3 @sadisticfries @daegalfangirl @bettyschwallocksyee @pradagukkie @mworkswatermelon @cacaubs @liljeongseong @scftharu @sunflowerhae @theskzvibe @stopeatread @dearlyminhyung @rrnhyuck @rv7hsua @shwizhies @matchahyuck @seobecca @seungjiseyo @butterfliesinthenightsky @squishy-maimon @vantxx95 @aforlornmystery @luvenshiti @shxnz @txtingme @l33j3n8 @fleursxiao @dandelionxgal @hyvckswrld @rinrinslovebot @purenjuniverse @mqrkfrl @y3jiishot  @heavenly-seraphic  @ismileeprnc-responder @jenyoonoh @ckline35 @galacticpurpl3 @tyongspice1 @neosdaisy  @sundamariis @isabelleonabicycle @octubreuno @deehyuck @babyjenono

permanent taglist:  ~ @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @polarisjisung @wooyoung-a @produmads @w3bqrl

[neoswift]

i love this curse on our house [02]

PAIRING. haechan x fem!reader

CATEGORY. filo smau, crack, humor, fluff, exes to ???, co-parenting!au, ex!donghyuck

WARNINGS. none

SYNOPSIS. what it’s like co-parenting with your ex-boyfriend, donghyuck.

part 1 | part 2

NOTE. hiii sorry if the ending was kinda abrupt 😭☝🏼 i really enjoyed writing this though so thank u sa nagrequest hehehe di ko lng sure kung madadagdagan ko pa HAHAHAAHA hope u guys enjoyed reading din! 🫰🏼

TAGLIST. @archivedmkl @nctasdfghj @wooyoung-a @morkleetrash @kkotjia @i-aecrysture @injunified @smolpeyy @pepperrye @hibuki-chan @hannie-dul-set @chanfilms @yiz-yo @anya-writes-stuff @w0nderr @mihyu-ckie @remisaki @fullsunld @main-figuresk8-sunghoonie @dejavukirstein @seijenoh @renjun-pretty @skzbeyleynjasnct @yoitbb @najaeminluvbot @hazyru @lune1897 @heynayu @chimajeyn @rensaure @13isacoolnumber @liljeongseong @marahuyornjn @eureah @markleepooh @000rpheus @nanayogurt @luvenshiti @j-8star @flovezen @jaeyuuns @yoonhanzjaem @ssuungchans @shairamaexx @hibernatinghamster @roseltgiri

[haekisses]

NCT DREAM RANDOM BF TEXTS.

requests are open !

[chenfleur]

ΒLUΣ MΩΩΠ ☾

5.4 ☾ — i like him a lot as a person

volleyball player!haechan x dancer!oc

summary. - in honour of the blue moon this year, the student parliament decided to hold a blue moon gala for the school. along with that, they created an activity. you pay $1.50 for either a lock or key. each lock and key have a pair with the opposite pendant (you would know if they were your partner if the key can unlock the lock). the person you pair with is your partner for the gala. mina thinks it’s fucking stupid. donghyuck, well—he’s always looking for some excitement in his life—but deep down he just wants someone who doesn’t like him for just his reputation.

taglist. - @oc-helps @philanarose @softrenjunnie @ourbeautifulaffair @luvdroids @lokideadontheinside @nycol-ie @02jwi @tyongf-sunflower99 @resceluwu @haknyeonsju @grassbutneo @prdshobi @sunflower-ness @see3milyblog @daegalfangirl @xtra-cheese @r3niun @yuthereal-mp4 @scoups-of-sugar @y3jiishot @beomslonghair @constantinopleo @miercerise @youngestdelacour @dandelionxgal @thesunsfullmoon @tw-hyuck @cupid-yuno @your-local-emo-boy @jkjkseo @lovecherrytion @hibernatinghamster @riceballsandanime @tamakofever @juune04​ @sol123recs​ @faefullsun @shineoko @tojisgrossworm @vapingcandy @sehunniepot @jisnoir @polarisjisung @shxnz @rocarecs @calumsmut @rosabella1009 @sundamariis // send an ask if you’d like to be tagged/removed from taglist!

a/n. - can mina and hyuck figure their shit out i want to go back to writing crack

𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔. | 𝒏𝑒𝒙𝒕.

𝑏𝒍𝒖𝑒 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏 𝒎.𝒍𝑖𝒔𝒕

[andysorbit]

Voicemails from Hyuck

gn! reader

warnings: fluff, humor, light smut

please support my work by reblogging! thank you!!

1. i just passed the store where your mom cursed me out for grabbing your ass and she crossed my mind so called her just to check in and we actually talked... she said she's glad you have me. I agreed and she cursed me out... again. she said I need to be evaluated but she didn't call me a pervert again so I think she likes me a little more than than she did yesterday

2. I know you're not answering because you're taking a shit and you don't like talking on the phone while you're on the toilet... okay and now you're texting me 'fuck off already' I've literally seen your asshole but you can't talk to me while you're dropping the kids off at the pool? prude.

3. I don't say this all the time but I like that I can just call you and talk shit whether or not you answer. I love you.

4. Jaemin just beat the shit out of me and I called you but uh... maybe I should switch my emergency contact back to my mom? bye jerk.

5. hi dummy. bye dummy.

6. guess what I'm doing... I'm sniffing your underwear... I lied. I'm not sniffing your underwear but I am about look at those pictures you sent me and... I sound desperate. pick up please I want you to talk me through it babe.

7. I love you baby. I know I'm a jerk but thank you for loving me enough to overlook it... unless it turns you on...