#haha so. when i said i was out of the love poems era

[litany-writes]

parking-lot plum-tree

[carinacassiopeiae]

STEVE HARRINGTON X READER FIC IDEAS

these are actually some of my fic ideas for steve harrington x reader and joe keery x reader and i would absolutely love it if you wonderful authors would give them a go. it's not specified because i did not want to seem redundant, but all of the fic ideas are sprinkled with lots of angst - well, those that can be written with angst that is.

just please tag me on everything that you write (and even if they aren't the fic ideas here but you write for steve, then please still tag me. i'd love to read and support your work! 💖)

1. soulmate au fic where it's steve finding out first about it. can be about feeling each other's pain, initials, same tattoo, etc. childhood friends to strangers to friends to lovers trope. she fell first but he fell harder that sort of thing.

2. soulmate au fic (yup, another one! :>) i've seen an idea about the first sentence they're going to say to you is written on you. maybe it will turn into gold when it's said to you with a tingling feeling so you know he's your soulmate. and as steve works at family video, for reader, it's a spoiler of a movie line about a character dying maybe, but she doesn't know that, so she says that that's what the death or dying part in her line said.

3. reader receives gifts or poems or little trinkets with the sender giving hints about his identity and feelings. the thing is, they're from steve - who is reader's best friend. she asks for his help to find out who this mystery sender is and he agrees. but what if there's like a mistaken identity and she thinks they're from billy (and like who isn't attracted to bad guys and stuff) and steve just goes all pouty (loljk i dunno but something along those lines)

4. king steve era where he makes reader fall in love with him as a dare and she finds out about it breaking her trust and all that. but like i also kinda want it to happen when steve knows about the upside down already and reader will be in danger (near death for more angst haha)

5. during his king steve era, he bullied reader and now, they're the babysitters of the kids. he regrets what he's done and tries to show her he's changed and all, but of course reader isn't buying any of it

6. what if what happened to max happened to reader and steve just feels helpless and afraid of losing reader

7. reader feels like steve has lingering feelings for nancy when she feels like he's putting or choosing nancy over her

8. reader confesses to steve, but he says he doesn't like her. then reader's all 'okay fine, i'm gonna move on' and when she actually does that, steve is 🥺

9. just steve being all jealous pls i wanna read that 😭

10. reader trying to bottle up her feelings about steve; and she's so good that no one knows. so even if she's hurting when steve flirts with other girls, she doesn't let it show. but like i dunno how it will work that the endgame is still steve x reader

11. reader just moved in hawkins so maybe a relative or something because she gets tangled up in the upside down. her relationship with steve is enemies to friends (begrudgingly) to lovers so like slowburn

12. steve teaching reader how to swim, bike and she's all scared and wraps herself all over steve

13. it's a joe keery x reader (i know, i know). but like reader is introduced in a new season and her relationship with steve is enemies to lovers. so like i dunno if it's interview style of fic where they're breaking that down (bonus with cast members teasing the two of them)

14. in connection with number 12 (as i love behind the scenes fics as well), maybe reader's character dies so what was their reaction to the scene and all that - a break down again if you will

[distant--shadow]

get to know meme

lil thing where I'll give a bit too much detail so it fills its purpose, honoured honestly to be tagged by three of my favourite writers in this space @sharkodactyl, @unicyclehippo , and @astoriacolumnstaircase - anyone reading this should be reading their works instead.

favourite colour: brown(s), like a mid to a dark tone, i like them to have a bit of red involved. like our old-boy chet, I love the wood. my dream home would be all wood-panelled with built in inlayed and set back shelves and nooks a plenty and yeah just full of brik-a-brak. otherwise my favourite colours are navy blue and greens that are more mixed with blue than yellow, teals and emeralds and once again generally around the mid tones. green makes me very happy. moss and outdoors and all that.

currently reading: fic. haha. (suss my recommend reading tag) I did venture out to my (very) local queer bookshop and asked them for something that won't send me on a spiral if I'm already on one/provide some escapism and they reccomended river of teeth by Sarah gailey. anyone I've said about it to seems real enthusiastic about it, I am not well read at all when it comes to published things, tend to just get really into a few fandom authors works and picking them apart (rereading a lot) . still haven't started it but maybe I'll try take it out to the park in the next week or so. I'm dabbling in reading (and unfortunately writing) poetry thanks to @picturesofthegoneworlds and @blorbotomy 's influence, those mini books are fun to keep on you when out and about, poem or two on a tree stump or boulder with a grand vista and a brain that wants eyes on a phone screen.

last song: last song I consciously (not background music) listened to was:

I went on an early lord snow stint the other night because the air smelt crisp and there was a nice chill. they have remained my favourite heavy (as a broad term) band for a decade now.

I used to have music on all of the time, whether that be cd's at home or in my mp3 player (that I still take out with me) but these days I find listening more of an intentional activity and I prefer to have people just nattering when I'm at home and want background noise. think it's where my heads at and I've just got more sensitive to being overstimulated I guess. I was also pretty good at going to a live gig at least once a week before I did my back in, looking forward to getting into that habit again.

last series: I don't watch much stuff outside of critical role, least other than YouTube videos I'll put on whislt I'm drawing. oh wait yeah I ordered 3 seasons of xena on ebay because it's like a couple of quid a season and it is a real good comfort show and fucking amazing. I hadn't seen it since I was pre teen and it was on day time TV and I'd catch it on sick days. the amount of people I've brought it up to these past few months who've been so stoked to be reminded of it/eager to watch it with me is actually hilarious.

last movie: uhhhh God movies I watch even less. I haven't been to a cinema in over 12 years now, just not my thing, and it's funny caus my mum used to work in the film and TV industry and we had shelves and shelves full of VHS growing up (mostly bootlegged) and she can just ramble about pretty much any early era film up to the stuff from the 80s (when she was working on em) for days. never could sit through em, never felt satisfied with how the story went. guess that's why actual play appeals to me. but saying all this I did rewatch Bound for the first time since I was like 15 last month or so, enjoyed it a lot more than I did back then.

sweet/savory/spicy: savory all day. I am a salt fiend. I used to think I'd be fortunate enough to die from my salt intake. I'll put it on anything. cereal, toast, fruit. I think the other day I noted the one thing I wouldn't put it on, but I can't recall that right now honestly. it's gotta be decent salt too, sea salt or rock salt that has some texture and delicious flavour, I'm not fucking with that table salt shit. I carry salt with me in a mini mason jar everywhere I go, saves when you only have access to bland cold supermarket food. one of my earliest memories is when I was like 6 I had had my daily 1 glass allowance of squash/fruit cordial in my white Tom and Jerry printed beaker with the accordion bendy straw and so when I was pouring myself a glass of water from the tap I put salt in it caus I wanted flavour that would not show through the white translucent container. it's all been downhill from there, although I also, luckily I guess caus otherwise I would be really fucked, do drink a lot of water.

currently working on: myself and healing. hah. I never realised how much paperwork and phone calls came with this maintenance shit. I'm still out of work, and my mental health has taken a huge hit from not being able to do the things I usually would. so right now I'm just trying to keep everything together. I can draw again though, so sorry about that.

I never know who to tag in these things caus I don't think everyone wants to do them. so I'll go with this being open invite as always. hope anyone who read this far is having a good week, and sentiment is still there even if you didn't read this (unless you don't deserve my well wishes, then fuck you.)

[warmchaoticsoul]

hi, let's get to know each other ☆

Since I've started this blog a few days ago, here are some informations about me 💌

my name is Carla, I'm 23, my pronouns are she/her/hers

I go by the name Carla Jackson when it comes to my writer/artist/singer/songwriter alter ego, call me Jackson, Carla, whatever you'd like but never my full name, I dont know it feels too formal and I dont like that, lets keep it casual bestiee

I write about anything seriously but the recurrent topics are the struggles and mental battles I go through in any circumstances, chaotic creation, and recently I've been writing a lot about all the feelings that come with the act of pursuing one's dream.

My dream is to be a singer/songwriter/artist and fully live from my art, it's something thats been burning inside me for a long time and dying to be put out there in the material world. I grew up watching my favorite artists on stage, singing, dancing, performing and said "thats what I wanna do"

Following your dreams and making everything to bring it to life is tiring, I get tired a lot, but never get tired of it, I love music way too fucking much!!

Speaking of favorite artists, I've always been a fangirl as long as I can remember and it has really inspired my writings lately. My idols are like a part of my family, more than my actual one but thats another topic for another post lmao :)

Fan/stan culture and anything related to the star system, cult of celebrity fascinate me, there's actually A LOT to say about that and I'm 100% here for it!

I am personally a bts army : my bias are yoongi and namjoon, I see a lot of me in them, namjoon's like my mind and yoongi my heart.

a little monster (lady gaga fan) and a michael jackson fan (your girl is literally called Carla JACKSON)

they're basically my holy trinity

otherwise I still listen to other artists but it would take literally forever to list them all so I'm not gonna make you go through all of that haha

lets just say I have an obsession with the 2000s/ early 2010s, basically anything that reminds me of the music I listened to when I was younger (as if I'm that old, I'm literally 23, its the fear of aging speaking 🙄)

this is why I started this blog btw, like the good old personal blogs days (we had skyblogs in france, I use to have mine where I'd write one direction fanfiction..... thats a topic I dont wanna dig up for OBVIOUS reasons 🥲)

also because I miss the 2014 tumblr era (definately not the bad side of it, more like halsey, the neighbourhood, grunge side of 2014 tumblr, you see?)

we need to make personal blogs a thing again!! I wanna rant about anything, with my 2 followers interacting!!

ANYWAY

We have at least one thing in common, so if you're a writer, love poems, music, are a fangirl/boy, have an obsession for the 2000s, feel free to hang out here, have a good day/evening/night, whatever time it is in your time zone ☆

[abbysprettygiiirl]

(previous nonnie) !! first off, i relate so much to how you feel. it sucks so much to feel this way, like you're not pretty, not worthy of being loved and stuff like that. :(( but know that u are loveable !! just because you think that way of yourself, doesn't mean others think the same. your brain is just bein' mean to you. and it sucks sm to feel this way but know that you're not alone !! and hey, ain't your username "abby's pretty girl?" :3 u r pretty !! <33 and you seem so sweet !!!

for artists you mentioned, i've only listened to montell fish once or twice but definitely will listen to some more! i love billie eilish as well !! and 'm so excited for her next album hehe. i also like salvia plath. lana, i do like her music but like – born to die era !! < 33 🍒 never heard of saint avengeline but will def check them out !! :3

and i'll listen to the songs you mentioned !! hehe. personally, been obsessed with rizha's last ep. mostly "bella swan" !! also looove "mutt" by sophie meiers. :3

i will watch the semmelsweis movie ! never heard of it, but why not !! and you said you're interested in medicine? do you wanna work in that field? if so, that's so cool !! and if not, it's cool too. i like movies that involve medical procedures tho i don't know shit about medicine stuff haha. and those movies are so good ?? white chicks is one of my favs as well. my favorite movie 4ever will always be la la land tho. :(( also i need to watch the new mean girls.

also um. don't judge me. but i never actually watched a twilight movie 😭 and no harry Potter either (cause i don't like the world, but thats my opinion.) never watched glimore girls either. i need to watch arcane tho !! also. you're the first person i met who watched feel good <33 mwaaah !!!

i need to read the twisted series but first, need to read the two books on my tbr !! (truthfully yours by caden armstrong is my next read.) and do you have a favorite poetry book? or favorite poem? :))

ALSO TULIPS. mwaaaah !!! tulips for u !! 🌷🌷🌷💌 they're my favs too !! love them sm. they're so prettyyyy. <33 and from your name, i would've thought lilies were also your favorites haha. ;3

anyway !! sorry this is so long but i want you to know that i'll gladly listen to you ramble about your day or books anytime !! (tho m anonymous, cause im actually shy to text haaa >_<) btw, can i be 🌷 anon? :3 mwaah !!!! bisouuuus

I'm gonna cry, u r so fckin sweet:(

did you read the rolling stones article in which billie gave an interview? I was like OH LORD.

aww, I listened to "mutt" by sophie meiers, cute music, but still sad, it is really from a dog's vision? :( (ANYWAY, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME MUSIC? I HOPE SO, BC IF NOT.. THEN I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED)

I don't really know what I want to do, I'm really interested in medicine, but I'm too lazy to study (and too scared to fail).

if you watch the movie Semmelweis, I'd be interested in your opinion about it, so if you're interested, by all means write how you liked it!! <33

I've heard of la la land, but I've never seen it, but maybe I'll watch it!

everyone has their own opinion, it's totally fine if you don't like Harry Potter that much, everyone has different tastes <3

Arcane is so FCKIN AMAZING, I've watched it like four times, can't wait for season 2 omg I'm sooo excited!!! about feel good.. I loved it, Mae and George were so cute:(

omg let me know if you manage to read the book you want! <3 here are my favorite poetry books, and there are two more books that I forgot to mention, but they are about fashion:

(I wanted to buy them in English, but unfortunately I didn't think of ordering online😭)

fashion books:

TULIPS ARE THE BEST!!!🌷💕

I also like lilies, but their scent is too strong for me:/

IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY, I LIKE WHEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME, REALLY!! :)

thank you so much again, I'm glad that someone will listen to me ramble about some fandom stuff ^^ (don't worry, I'm also a shy people!)

Of coursee, you're my 🌷 anon from now on!

XOXO

[mo0n-water]

hello! sorry, my day yesterday wasn’t the best so i just gave up when it deleted itself but i’m trying again today! also, that grammar mistake when i said ‘do’ instead of ‘did’ is literally painful to look at, i’m sorry.

also hello to your friend, she sounds like a great person :)

i love finding comfort in art. it’s a feeling like no other when you are reading a book written in the 19th century or a poem from the 18th century or looking at a painting from the 16th century and it understands you more than your close friends or even yourself. there’s a line in a bob dylan song: ‘then she opened up a book of poems, and handed it to me, written by an italian poet from the 13th century. and every one of them words rang true and glowed like burning coal, pouring off of every page like it was written in my soul”, i think that describes it perfectly.

life would be boring without a healthy dose of unnecessary personification.

i completely get what you are saying with the photo, i have this photo on my phone of a clearing in the woods which is quite blurry and unremarkable to the untrained eye but it’s from the first date i ever went on. i tried to take a photo of the girl i was with but she moved out of the way and i didn’t see her again in person for months and so all i had to remember being together by was a photo of some trees and the forest floor. though i’m not on speaking terms with her anymore, i can’t bear to delete the photo because it represents a whole era of my life and as much as i’d love to forget her, i think i’d hate it if i did.

i’ve never told anyone that before, woah.

I LOVE CLEOPATRA SO MUCH. it’s such a nostalgic song.

your lyric… i wish i could hear how it was sung. the best kind of music is when you can tell that it was written by someone who felt the words they spoke and that there’s a story hidden behind every line. i think it’s special that only you will ever truly understand what your songs mean.

i think whenever anyone asks me this question my first thought will always be this stupid innocent fantasy i’ve had since early childhood of time stopping and everyone i love and have ever loved coming together and just getting to be in their presence, peacefully and without expectation. i want to dance and hug and cry and be who i am when i’m alone with them.

but more realistically, i really really want someone to give me an annotated copy of their favourite book. i’d think i’d marry anyone who did that for me.

i like being anonymous because i feel like there’s less pressure and i can ask questions i wouldn’t normally ask. i also enjoy that we both know these tiny things about each other but none of the things you’d normally know about someone you’ve had multiple ‘conversations’ with.

my favourite lyric is, like, the whole of suzanne by leonard cohen but specifically: ‘and you know that she’s half crazy/but that’s why you want to be there/and she feeds you tea and oranges/that come all the way from china’. i think a lot about why i like those lyrics is how he sings it though.

my favourite harry songs are canyon moon, fine line and little freak :)

questions for you:

- what was the moment when you realised you were no longer a child?

- what kind of old person do you think you’ll be?

- what’s your dream house like?

- what do people forget?

- what’s the first thing you think about when you wake up?

hope your week is going well xx

ps. 🌷🌺🌸🌼🌻💐

pps. you wrote a song about me?? i’m SOBBING right now, i love you

ppps. 168 HOURS

help me. i didn’t even notice the grammar mistake (i was tired) but i’m laughing so hard now… lmfao. anyway, no worries on the timing! i hope your day today was better than the one before. (i am assuming it’s mostly over, thought that’s a bold assumption i guess!)

i did write a song about you 😭 i was wondering if you’d end up seeing that post, looks like you did haha. i was thinking about anonymity & what it means to know someone, literally exactly what you said about knowing tiny details but none of the things that you’d usually know about someone.

i’ve been thinking a lot about a question you asked a couple asks ago, which was something along the lines of what’s something that everyone should know about you. i think i said something which, in hindsight, was a longwinded & romanticized way of getting across the fact that i’m an extrovert. but an actual disclaimer is that if i meet you & decide that you’re interesting, you’re gonna get a song written about you & you do NOT wanna hear it lolol

okay, about your answers! i like what you said about sharing a space with people you know. i remember when i was growing up teachers would often ask “organize a dinner party of x amount of people, real or fictional, dead or alive” & i’d always pick friends & family. people i missed, & just people who i like to see.

i’m annotating a copy of one of my favorite books for a friend right now. she’s always said that she thinks it’s be the most phenomenal gift, & incidentally what you said about the flowers inspired me to finally go & do it. i think that’s a sweet idea, & i hope someone does it for you. it says a lot about you that what you want from someone else is just their thoughts on something they care about, plain & simple & honest.

clearly your music taste is phenomenal. suzanne, my beloved… leonard cohen is just AHHHH. ahhhh. good taste in harry songs as well, but it’s hard to have bad taste in harry songs… little freak is my favorite as well!

to answer your questions:

i don’t think i can put the one about childhood on the internet, for whatever that says about my upbringing. i’ll give you an ominous overview. i was in elementary school, & my parents had me sit down in my great grandma’s wicker chair because they needed to talk to me about something. i think the fact i was in elementary school is very sad. it wasn’t the first time i thought “i need to be grown up and mature from now on” but it was the first time i actually did. sounds like the opening to a book!

that’s a bummer. that’s such a bummer. sorry lolol

next question! by G-d, i will answer this in a positive & upbeat way. i don’t know what i’m gonna be like as an old person. i feel like that’s gonna be based on how i live my life? nostalgic, i think. i’m nostalgic as is, so i think that’s gonna get more and more true the older i get. always trying to preserve things, you know? i like nostalgia. my friends say i’m pretty grannycore as is, though.

i want my great granny’s old house in kentucky. it ain’t in the family anymore but that is genuinely the exact place i want to live. i’m a bit insane about it.

uhhhh i’ve been thinking a lot about something someone said about how pain is the one thing your mind will never ever remember right, & that’s why it’s hard to learn from your mistakes. i also think people forget that life comes in cycles, it’s very cyclical in nature, & that the phases you go through are never going to stick around forever. that goes for the good & the bad, you know?

today my first thought was “i wonder if question anon ever sent that ask in,” my second was “i wonder how (best friend) is doing in japan,” & my third was “i wonder if (girl i am Still Not Over) texted me.” i feel like in general, when i wake up, my first thoughts are always about people & what they’re up to. for the record, i did immediately go to check all three of those things, so i still haven’t gotten out of bed haha.

that’s that!

questions for you:

- what’s a silly life goal of yours? (random deja vu moment accompanied this)

- i can tell you appreciate people who are thoughtful & vulnerable, so what’s another quality you’d appreciate in a friend?

- if you could host a dinner party with any guests, living or dead or entirely fictional, who would you pick?

- what the fuck is that countdown for? favorite quote?

wishing you the best!

& for you:

[sukunarii]

Pairing: Yandere! Sukuna x Reader

Warnings: (Sukuna’s Era!) Yandere | Unhealthy relationship | Murder | Blood| This fic is much darker than my usual style! Please beware when you read it. 

Synopsis: In the early morning, you would play your koto in your garden. It was a show for one audience: a stranger that refused to step out of the shadows. A stranger that perhaps grew too fond of you.

Wordcount: 3.0K

A/N: A koto is a Japanese instrument kind of like a harp. Also this fic might be very historical inaccurate. This fic is inspired by a poem by William Blake titled “Song:  When early morn walks forth in sober grey.” 

The sky was gray on the day you first spoke to him. It was early morning, you were in your garden, under the gazebo as usual where you go to practice playing your koto. You enjoyed it, for it was one of the only times where you could feel absorbed in your own world, in your own solitude and tranquility. However, you have noticed that lately, you were not so much alone.

"Behind the willow tree, I know you're there," you called out. You could see the shadow shift, but the person behind did not step out into your view.

"I see you have noticed me," a masculine voice replied. It carried a hint of playfulness.

"Of course I have, you've disturbed my peace for a few mornings now," you replied.

"Am I not welcomed?", he asks.

"What brings you here?", you asked back immediately.

His answer did not come as quick as yours, as if he chose his words carefully  "I was captivated by the music you played," he complimented you.

You were flattered, you had to pause and recollect your thoughts for a moment. If he is just here to listen....well there's no harm, right?

You let out an airy laugh, "As my only audience, I supposed you are welcomed to stay." 

You resumed to playing your koto. From behind the willow tree, Sukuna stole a few glances at you. Along with the beautiful music you created, you looked so effortless and absorbed in your own world while playing. A world that Sukuna could step a foot into by observing you from afar but felt too delicate for him to disturb. You were like an angel while he was a curse— a monster. He shouldn’t have any business with a girl like you. 

Yet you called him, 'My only audience'...he liked the sound of that.

You were playing for him only, and he was glad that he did not even have to capture you for this. After all, a caged bird does not sing the same.

However, the serenity of dawn was disturbed by the loud and abrupt chime of the bell.

With a jolt, you stopped playing.

"Ah, that was the wake up call for the village, I got to go now," you said and got up.

From his shadow, you see him stand up too. You hesitated but decided to ask anyways, "Will you tell me your name?"

He laughs lightheartedly, "A musician does not need to know the name of their audience."

The buds on the dull brown branches were blooming into beautiful flowers that decorated the garden. Summer was approaching. It became routine, he would come to your little concert every morning. It was romantic even. You did not know who he was, but sometimes you would carry little conversations with him. You knew that he was not from the village, he said he travelled up from the valley every morning to visit you.

Knowing that he was not from the village also gave you a sense of security as you could tell him anything and everything without worrying that he would spread rumours. Afterall, you were the daughter of the richest man in the village, from suitors to enemies to your family's reputation, there was so much that you had to keep to yourself. You've learned to express these thoughts into the music you played, but being able to say them out loud in words was relieving.

He was your audience and you were his musician.

Nonetheless, most of the time, very few words were exchanged. It was just you, him, your music in the air and the garden in the surroundings.

You were wearing a purple kimono the day you asked him if you could see him. He gave you the same response as the day you asked him for his name, "A musician does not need to know the appearance of their audience."

You sighed, disappointed, "How about if I ask you as a friend?"

From the flickers of his shadow, you could tell he hesitated. Your heart started racing, in hopes that you will finally see your mysterious friend. But, you were left disappointed, "Not today, my darling. You're still not ready yet."

You looked at his shadow quizzically, what did he mean by not ready? Did he have self-esteem issues? Or a scar? Or was he really ugly...? Not that you would have minded of course, you pouted, "That's not fair. You get to see me all the time."

He chuckles, "I think this is for the better."

The urge to show himself to you or even take you for himself was very strong. However, he had to hold himself back, he didn't want you to be afraid of him. For one, you just called him a 'friend'. And he knew that if he did show himself however, this friendship would be over. You were an angel. He was a curse. Sometimes fate was cruel that way.

The green leaves that fell from the trees were fluttering in the summer breeze. Lately Sukuna has been observing you more and more throughout the day. Instead of rampaging the nearby villages, he would spend more time observing you from the outskirts of your village.

The more he observed, the more he noticed the amount of unsolicited male attention you get when you stroll in the village. Had he not been a curse, he wished he could be strolling by your side and indicating to all of those nuisances that you were his.

The village was not very large, thus, Sukuna has come to recognize most of the faces. However, one time there was a strange man with black hair that appeared in the village. Not that Sukuna cared much as long as he didn't try to flirt with his little darling — except the man did this very thing: he stopped you.

Sukuna could not hear what the man said to you, but he could certainly feel the rage rising in him. The urge to kill this man was very strong. In fact, in the heat of the moment he feels like he could kill everyone in this village to prove his point. Seeing another man try to talk to you so intimately enraged him. He has held himself back multiple times from rampaging your village and taking you home with him. Taking you as his. But for your sake, he has managed to suppress these dark thoughts. But not this time.

He approached you, or specifically the stranger menacingly...with killing intent. But once he was in hearing distance, he heard you tell the man firmly,

"I'm not interested."

The man paused. But insisted again, "Why not? I can treat you right."

"I'm interested in someone else," you told him.

Sukuna paused. Were you talking about him?

"What? No way, who might this be and how come I've never heard of this before! You're just making up lies to turn down my love," he argues back condescendingly.

You shot him a dirty look and you tried to leave but he grabs your arm, “Hold it there girl, I’m not done talking yet.”

That’s it. You slapped him. Not a weak slap, a hard one. The man's face flipped towards the other side.

"That is none of your business. Now if you would excuse me," you said angrily and turned around and left.

Sukuna smiled, 'That's my girl.'

He didn't even have to do anything.

You ran your hand through the calming blue water of the pond in your garden. You have strained your hand from playing on the koto for too much, they were sore and calloused. You tried inviting your friend to come feel the water too but he refused, insisting on remaining well hidden from your view.

"He is from this powerful family, the Zenin clan I believe. And he seems really interested in me."

Sukuna didn't answer.

"But I'll keep rejecting him, I don't like him and don't care for his advances," you rambled on, then sighed, "However I can't say the same for my parents. They are interesting in getting a hold of the powers of the Zenin clans."

"Why don't you leave the village with me?" he finally answered you.

You didn't think he was serious, but you entertained his idea, "They're not just your normal powerful families. They are very powerful as in even if we leave the village, there's nowhere left to run."

"Then I'll just kill them. Everyone of them."

You laughed bittersweetly, what could he possibly do against them when he was too shy to even show himself to you? The Zenin clan was one of the most powerful sorcerers of the eras!

"Haha, yeah that would be nice. But with all of the curses rampaging the nearby villages, we really need the Zenin clan's protection. It really sucks but they're powerful jujutsu sorcerers, it's a miracle that our village is not destroyed yet unlike the our neighbouring villages,” but swiftly, your fake optimism fades. You couldn’t play your koto today, but this stranger was your friend and talking to him gives a sense of comfort. He was listening to you and he was trustworthy.

You say softly, “If only something happened to their third son so that he would stop trying to woo me all of the time...." then, you laughed sheepishly, "Of course I'm just joking haha, I mean it's awful to wish death on someone..."

But Sukuna only heard the first part.

With summer abruptly coming to an end and winter approaching, sunrise came later every day. The sky was still black the morning you broke down crying to him. It was moonless.

"I-I know I said I wished he was d-dead, but I didn't mean it f-for real," you said between your sobs, "I just didn't w-want to marry h-him, but he got killed by a curse and I f-feel like I cursed him."

"Wasn't that what you wanted?", the intonations of his voice came out as cold as the autumn air. However, you were too absorbed in your sadness to pick up these nuances.

"No! I would never truly want anyone to die! That’s awful!”

“Now you won’t have to worry about unsolicited attention anymore,” he answered briskly

You hugged your knees closer to your chest and buried your face into them, “It didn’t make a difference...the Zenin offered their s-second son instead..., so it wasn't cancelled regardless..."

"What wasn't cancelled?", Sukuna asked.

"The wedding...”

Sukuna's jaw tightened. He was upset. Furious. You’ve mentioned that the Zenin family was interested in you but you’ve never mentioned that there was anything official. He didn't like that you didn't mention this to him at all. 

"Leave with me."

This time it wasn't a question. It was an order. Yet, you refused it again.

"I can't. I can't leave my family behind like that...if I run away, the Zenin clan would bare a grudge against them, who knows what they’ll do..."

For the first time, Sukuna finally stepped out of the shadows.

But you didn't notice, nor did you see him, the obscurity of the lightless sky hid him from your vision.

"Pathetic, why would you care about family that are selling you off to strangers? This is why you humans are so weak. Being emotional for things that do not matter," he says, words dripping with menace.

Your eyes widened, alerted by the swift change of mood. Tension high in the air. He did not sound like the friend that you knew. It’s as if he was a real stranger.

"That's not true! It's wrong to be selfish, they're my family. I have to listen to them and it's for the best of the village," you tried to reason but you were worried that he could hear the slight fear in your trembling voice.

"Oh yes because the Zenin clan will protect your village from curses. You think too highly of them. When I killed that nuisance, he was crawling and crying, begging for his life. He may be a little stronger than your average jujutsu sorcerer but he was still a weak human." Sukuna was tired of keeping up his calming and human-like demeanour. He topped off his statement with a sadistic laugh.

However, you didn't answer him. Not immediately at least, you were soaking in the words he just said. You gasped.

"Y-You mean you killed him?!"

You took a step back in shock and fear. You were told that he was killed by a curse...if this stranger you've befriended was a curse and one strong enough to kill someone from the Zenin family....you were in deep trouble.

Sukuna continued laughing, "Ah, yes I killed him. I sliced his body into pieces but I preserved the head so he could be recognized. It was a masterpiece, you should of seen the expression of anguish on his decapitated head!"

All of his efforts of wanting to preserve this friendship, fearing to taint your innocence, and scared of not being delicate around you, all thrown away in the heat of the moment. It didn't matter anymore, not when annoying jujutsu sorcerers were going to get in the way and take you away from him.

You screamed, "Get away from me, you monster!"

Your fight or flight instincts kicked in, this man in front of you— no this curse in front of you— was not a friend. You have befriended something much more sinister, he was a killer. A powerful killer and from the enthusiasm in his voice, he was a sadistic one too. You turned to run back to your house.

To your surprise, he didn't follow you. He watched you and even if you can't see him, you can tell that he was smiling.

You didn't dare to leave the house the days before the wedding. You were also too scared to tell anyone about your foolish encounter with a curse. Instead, you urged your parents to push the wedding earlier. The earlier the better, much to their delight.

Luckily, you did not hear about him and it seems that things have returned to normal. But your instincts say otherwise. If you play with fire, you ought to get burned. And you seemed to have attracted the attention of something very ominous.

You were wearing white on the day of the wedding. A veil covering your face. As per tradition, you were patiently waiting for your groom in another room, waiting for him to lift the veil off your face and take you to the main ceremony room to present you to the invited guests and families. Then allow the head of the households to pronounce you as husband and wife.

Maybe it was your nervousness, it seemed that every minute went by slower. Almost as if the ceremony has been delayed. But with your eyes covered by the veil, all you could do was wait.

Then finally, you heard someone approaching you. You feel a hand gently lift the veil off your face. To your surprise, the person who brought you out of the darkness was not the second son of the Zenin family. There he was, the powerful curse that rampaged villages: Sukuna. You might be the only person who has seen all four of his arms and eyes up close and lived to tell the tale. Not that you would have anyone to tell this to.

He was covered in blood. You were not sure who's but from the silence and the lack of wounds on him, you can formulate a pretty good guess. You drew in a sharp breath and jerked away from his touch, hoping to crawl away even.

"Help!", you shouted out hoping that anyone would hear — anyone at all....wasn't half of the Zenin household here? What were they doing?

"Shh, I was late because I had to take care of some trash, but don't worry, I'm here now," Sukuna says to you. You recognized his voice right away.

You were so terrified that you didn't even notice tears started coming out of your eyes. You struggled to get away from him, you clawed at him, tried to push him away, but it didn't work. He didn't even flinch.

"(Name), stop that before you anger me," he warned you.

You didn't listen.

"You're a monster," you spat at him and you tried to slap him but he stops your hand midair, the blood on his hands imprinting onto your white kimono.

"I'm not like those pathetic Zenin, you'll have to try harder if you want to hit me," Sukuna says with a taunting voice.

Despair washes over you. He was right, if even the Zenin couldn’t win against him, then what could you do? There was no way you could win this nor escape him.

When he carried you bridal style out towards the main room of the ceremony, you’ve stopped struggling. The room was plastered with blood. You recognize some of the body limbs on the ground, the remains of the guests, of your family, of the Zenin family. They were barely remains, mostly just little pieces. You had the urge of throwing up. No one was coming to save you.

It was just you and Sukuna.

Sukuna laughs, he can hear the whiplash of the puddles of blood as he steps over them. He was proud of his work, "Just like usual, only you and me. I'm your only audience."

The blood that covered him stains onto your previously white kimono.

Sukuna always compared you to an angel. And he was a curse—a monster. You two were not meant to be, fate was cruel like that. But Sukuna can be even crueler.

You are his bride.

And it was a red wedding.

[1ddotdhq]

🐝Fri 13 Nov ‘20 Pt.1💃

Harry made (a whole lotta) history today by being the first man ever to be on the cover of American Vogue Magazine! Even the Daily Mail had to agree, with its shockingly on point headline, “Harry Styles wears a Gucci dress as he becomes the FIRST ever male cover star of US Vogue in groundbreaking gender neutral shoot”. As Oscar Wilde tells us, “you can never be overdressed or overeducated”. Well, HARRY said it in Vogue today: but Oscar said it first. 

It’s a pretty standard Harry interview, except the fact that he met the Vogue writer at a bathhouse in Hampstead (I wonder if they wanted to take that chilly early morning swim with him, lol)- he talks about choosing to spend his quarantine with friends (first a pod in LA, then later with Mitch and Sarah, and always wearing sweatpants), about reading Alain de Boton (his takeaways are “being in a relationship with someone is a real skill” and “real friendship stems from being vulnerable with someone”. Yes, I hear it too, it’s fine, we’re not gonna talk about it), about potentially moving to Tokyo (“there’s a respect and stillness, a quietness that I’ve really loved every time I’ve been there”), that he loves “the feeling of nobody knowing where I am,” (poignant when you think how rare that is for him), and, of course (it's Vogue!), about fashion. Well, he’s certainly become a fashion icon: his Tik Tok famous JW Anderson rainbow cardigan has gone into the Victoria & Albert museum’s permanent collection as “an emblematic document of how people got creative during the COVID-19 era”. One of the most interesting moments was what he selected as a pivotal moment in his relationship to clothing; “I was really young,” he says, “and I wore tights for [a school play] - I remember it was crazy to me that I was wearing a pair of tights! And that was maybe where it all kicked off.” Listening to him talk about his own journey and self discovery is wonderful, but questions about his personal life and living situation are just prying and he’s not gonna give any straight (haha) answers, because he doesn’t want to, so can we please just let him talk about books and stuff instead of drawing the story about Ben Winston’s attic out yet again?! Anyway the text is followed by an video, maybe the best part of the whole thing-- it's him playing an acoustic rendition of Cherry (on a truly beautiful guitar) that has to be my favorite performance EVER of that song, where he adopted a twang that was reminiscent of Bob Dylan (Tangled Up in Blue, anyone?). It played over gorgeous behind the scenes content of them setting up the shoots, him moving around and laughing with everyone, and incredible shots of him bustling up the hill holding up his floofy skirts (yes he is absolutely personifying the wedding photoshoot cliché, fabulous indeed) and brushing his teeth while wearing the blue bandana with the “But Daddy I Love Him” T-shirt: now that's a LOOK. He just can't stop the larrie baiting huh? Our Harry, always so competitive! 

But anyway, let's not forget the real point of any Vogue spread: the PICTURES! The cover shoot is Harry in a soft blue lacy Cinderella dress and bolero jacket blowing up a sky blue balloon and wearing his rings, including the peace ring. Amongst his other outfits, there was a pair of golden Bode pants, custom made to feature things personal to him, such as some of his tattoos and other elements that made him who he is: a Robin, his godsons names, the crest of Manchester, a bee named Hester, the word “Wolfie” (theories abound!), daisies, and a poem by Richard Branaugh (the author of the novel “In Watermelon Sugar”) called ‘The Wait’. “But the wait was worth it,” the poem reads, “because I was in love”. And we are certainly all in love with this shoot. Some other notable pictures include one with Gemma that was a surprise for Anne (“this is my sister from the same womb”, he said, making it awkward for everyone), a lot more with him in various skirts (maybe more than trousers? have we counted?), and every outfit featuring his beat up vans with the pink shoelaces and flattened heels. There doesn’t seem to be a way to buy the magazine online without a subscription yet, but if it becomes available I will be sure to let you know the details. Harris Reed and Gemma posted a lot of behind the scenes content on Instagram, as did Anne, who celebrated Harry’s accomplishment on her story. I hope she’s very proud, because so many of us certainly are.

[poetrusicperry]

Hello dear, im not sure if you still take requests for ships with the dps boys, but im gonna give it a try.

My name is Deniz, i go by he/him pronouns and i am non-binary. I have french and turkish nationalities. I have short curly dark hair and black eyes and have prescription glasses that i never wear even if i am blind because i, even after 8 years of wearing them, still forget to put them on my nose. My eneagram is 5w4. I'm really into arts, painting , music, theatre and writing poetry. I play the guitar. My favorite classes are latin, french and english. Im into philosophy and politics (left wing). I fluently talk french, english, and turkish. As i said, i am really into music, and i listen to pretty much every genres existing, but my favorites are goth, black and death metal, french electro/rave, shoegaze, classical music and classical arabic music. I am also pagan.

What else? Arg yes, I hate socializing and partying, i still hang out with the same 3 people i met 10 years ago. I can assure that i am socially awkward and don't know how to speak to people face to face.

I don't know how to describe my sense of style... i guess we could say that it is very victorian/goth oriented but with a clown-ish twist. I love black pants and poet blouse and i only wear that. Very David Bowie-esque in his White Duke era but with occasional dark red and dark purple because they are my favorite colors.

Oh dear Dionysos. I really hope this wasn't too long and boring. I also stalked your blog for an hour, i love it.

Peace.

(I apologize for the occasional mistakes, as i said english isn't my first language...)

hello, deniz !! first and foremost, i would like to sincerely apologize for how long it took me to get to this. it's a tad short, but i hope you enjoy it all the same <3 p.s. i think it's so cool that you're trilingual !!! and thanks for your kind words. sending love and hugs (:

shipping you with neil !! (:

you two would meet at a theatre performance, no doubt. you’d both be there enjoying the show alone, but seated next to each other. and neil being the outgoing and personable dude he is, he’d strike up a conversation with you before the show, during intermission, and afterwards, asking if you wanted to go to a diner and talk about other shows you’ve seen.

neil would also completely ADORE your fashion sense. he always wanted to dress similarly to you, but he lacked the confidence in himself (also his dad wouldn’t approve). he’d have fun with you, getting him out of his fashion comfort zone (‘:

the fact that you’re trilingual? one of neil’s absolute favorite things about you. he’d often ask you how to say the most random things in french or turkish just to hear you speak the languages heh

introducing him to so much new music !!! as everyone knows, neil’s childhood was pretty sheltered and one-dimensional, so the fact that you listen to all sorts of music is fascinating to him (“what about this music draws you to it ?” he’d ask all the time)

having neil around was a great reminder for you and wearing your glasses. but neil thought it was really cute when you guys would go out to eat and he’d have to read you the menu because you really just couldn’t see it HAHA (also an excuse to sit hella close to you hehe)

you would be neil’s #1 fan when he began to pursue acting, and it was that much more special to you since that’s how you guys met (:

neil would convince you to go to a party with him “just to see what it’s like,” but you’d both find that you were way more content having a quiet night in watching movies or reading poems to each other

lots (and i mean LOTS) of bookstore visits

you two would love to experience new things together (whether it be trying new foods, a new literary genre, or a new movie)

overall, you and neil would be such a cute couple and while your interests certainly varied, you had enough in common to keep things relatable and fun

[omoi-no-hoka]

Welcome to my second post in the Oku no Hosomichi series, in which I read aloud the work in chronological, brief portions and provide backstory necessary to understand the work. 

You can find my brief intro to Basho here.

And the reading of Part 1 here.

Very early on the twenty-seventh morning of the third moon, under a predawn haze, transparent moon barely visible, Mount Fuji just a shadow, I set out under the cherry blossoms of Ueno and Yanaka. When would I see them again? A few old friends had gathered in the night and followed along far enough to see me off from the boat. Getting off at Senju, I felt three thousands miles rushing through my heart, the whole world only a dream. I saw it through farewell tears.

Classical: 行春や鳥啼魚の目は泪 Romaji: Yuku haru ya / tori naki uo no / me ha namida English: Spring passes / and the birds cry out -- tears / in the eyes of fishes

With these first words from my brush, I started. Those who remain behind watch the shadow of a traveler’s back disappear. 

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

The second year of Genroku, I think of the long way leading into the Northern Interior under Go stone skies. My hair may turn white as frost before I return from those fabled places--or maybe I won’t return at all. By nightfall, we come to Soka, bony shoulders sore from heavy pack, grateful for a warm night robe, cotton bathing gown, writing brush, ink stone, necessities. The pack made heavier by farewell gifts from friends. I couldn't leave them behind. 

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

Continuing on to the shrine at Muro-no-Yashima, my companion Sora said, “This deity, Ko-no-hana Sakuya Hime, is Goddess of Blossoming Trees and also has a shrine at Fuji. She locked herself inside a fire to prove her son’s divinity. Thus her son was called Prince Hohodemi--Born-of-Fire--here in Muro-no-Yashima [Burning Cell]. And that’s why poets here write of smoke, and why the locals despise the splotched konoshiro fish that reeks like burning flesh. Everyone here knows the story.”

Gosh I just love Basho’s writing style so much. It is simple yet captures so much.

Okay, let’s go through things of note, from top to bottom.

1. Tears in the Eyes of Fishes

The haiku that Basho pens at the start of his journey has one of my favorite defunct kanji in it.

Classical: 行春や鳥啼魚の目は泪 Romaji: Yuku haru ya / tori naki uo no / me ha namida English: Spring passes / and the birds cry out -- tears / in the eyes of fishes

The kanji that Basho used for “tears” is no longer used. But I like it better than the current kanji because it is very easy to understand.

Defunct: 泪

The three comma like lines on the left are a radical that represent water. The radical beside it is the kanji for “eye.” so quite literally, it is “the water that comes from eyes.” Very simple and easy to gather meaning. 

Current: 涙

Here we have the same water radical on the left, but the right is the kanji 戻, which means “to return.” However, a deeper dive into the kanji 涙 and its etymology reveals that in this particular kanji, the 戻 radical has the meaning of “a never-ending connection or flow.” Add the water radical, and you have “a never-ending stream of water” to represent “tears.” Pretty convoluted. I vote we go back to 泪 haha. 

2. Genroku Era（元禄時代）

Japanese Eras are such a pain to remember because there are so many. Whenever an emperor changed, the Era changed as well. The Genroku Era was from the ninth month of 1688 through the third month of 1704. The second year of Genroku was 1689. 

The Genroku Era is generally considered to be the Golden Age of the Edo Period. By this point, Japan had been closed off from other countries for nearly a century, there was relative economic stability, and arts and architecture flourished. 

3. Go Stone Skies

Go is a board game invented in China more than 2,500 years ago. Played by two people, the object is to surround more territory than your opponent. You play with white and black stones.

So perhaps the clouds were the color of Go stones, or the way the clouds were spread about looked like a board of Go. 

4. Muro-no-Yashima, Konoha Sakuya Hime

There’s a lot of backstory to this place. 

First off, the shrine that they visit is in current day Tochigi Prefecture, and it still stands to this day. 

Ohmiwa Shrine, Sojamachi, Tochiji Prefecture

It is the oldest jinja in Tochigi. Sadly, as we go through this book we will come to find that many of the temples and shrines that Basho visited along the way have been lost to time. So it is really a treat to know that we can visit the same place that he did so many centuries ago. 

Jinja each house a god. This one houses Konoha Sakuya Hime, which may sound familiar if you have ever played the PS2 game Okami.

But here is a more traditional depiction of her:

As beautiful as the blossoms she patrons. 

Sora, Basho’s travelling companion, kept his own journal and wrote down an additional haiku Basho created upon entering this shrine that was not included in Oku no Hosomichi.

Classical: 糸遊に結つきたる煙哉 Romaji: Itoyuu ni / musubi tsukitaru / keburikana English: Oh, how the smoke interweaves with shimmering steam

(I couldn’t find an English translation so I did my best. Sorry lol.)

In the grounds of this jinja is a pond that emitted steam, which was romanticized as smoke and/or the manifestations of the thoughts of the gods. Many ancient poems had been written about this place before Basho. However, by the late 17th Century, the pond no longer emitted steam. The word 糸遊 (itoyuu, lit. “playing with strings”) is a very old word for the shimmer of a heat mirage. He must have been imagining what it would have been like to see the pond and its steam as the ancients had once seen it. 

Muro-no-Yashima when written in kanji is 室の八島, which translates roughly to “low ground of eight islands.” However, the word “yashima” used to refer to kilns or ovens. In fact, many, many centuries ago, it was common practice for people in the region of Yashima to purify their kilns on New Year’s Eve and divine the next year’s fortune based on the ashes within. 

At some point, for some unknown reason, the word for kiln/oven became “kamado,” and this region was given the kanji 八島 (Yashima, eight islands) because the kanji matched the pronunciation of the region. 

*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

That’s all for now. Hope you enjoyed this installment. I think I’ll try to make this a weekly thing. If you have any advice or suggestions, please let me know! I’m a newbie haha. 

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#220-211)

#220: Yiannis Dimitras -- Feggari Kalokerino (Greece 1981)

"Κοίτα τον έρημο γυαλό Σου ψιθυρίζω σ’ αγαπώ Τώρα θα χτίσω εκκλησιά Για της αγάπης τα τρελά παιδιά" "Look at the desolate seashore I whisper you “I love you” Now I’ll build a church For the crazy children of love" The opening shot, the rose on the piano, set the stage for such a romantic journey under the summer moon. And the soundscape created through the piano and instrumental throw us into this endearing scene, one which is also tinged with melancholy. Feggari Kalokerino is not only an ode to this beauty, but also an admission of craziness for falling in love. With such pretty lyrics, one can't help but get enveloped in this pretty world, where everything is so beautiful. The combination of Yiannis' singing and the woman's piano playing is also quite cute, albeit with some...interesting undertones to it. Either way, it's classical yet timeless.

Personal ranking: 3rd/20 Actual ranking: 8th/20 in Dublin

#219: Liliane Saint-Pierre -- Soldiers of Love (Belgium 1987)

“Neem elkaars handen Smeed nou die banden toe Hoor je die verre kreet? Geen mens vraagt dat leed” “Take each other’s hands Come on, weld those bonds Do you hear that distant scream? Nobody asks for that suffering” Top ten opening themes of anime, haha. It also helps that "Soldiers of Love" is the English translation for the song "Ai no Senshi" from Sailor Moon (which I've listened to many times but haven't gotten that far into the anime...). That said, Soldiers of Love packs a punch with the instrumentation and the high intensity of the melody. The lyrics are a powerful battle cry, albeit one which advocates for peace amongst people. There’s so much energy and determination in Belgium’s host entry, one would prepare themselves for battle for a good cause. Liliane really delivers this earnestly and with determination, though sometimes the military-style get-up stands out to me the most when I watch it again. Though those two guitarists turning their ends as if they were firing guns is a cool thing to behold.

It's one of the host entries that is better than the song which one it for the country, which is something because J'aime la vie is considered a fan favorite.

Personal ranking: 6th/22 Actual ranking: 11th/22 in Brussels

#218: Beth -- Dime (Spain 2003)

"Cuántas veces te llamé en la noche Cuántas veces te busqué Por mis recuerdos yo vuelvo Y no pierdo la fe" "How many times did I call you in the night? How many times did I look for you? I return for my memories And I don’t lose faith" For some reason, Dime reminds me of "Die for You" from two years earlier--both feature modern pop bops with ethnic influences, both imploring about the state of a relationship (while they both want to make it wor. And they're both in the same key! At the same time, Dime holds its own as one of the strongest 2000s entries from Spain. They had similar flamenco/Latin inspired entries in 2001 and 2004, which were highlights in rather mediocre years because of their uniqueness overall. But the guitar flourishes here work well with the dance beat, and it provides its own fun.

Personal ranking: 3rd/26 Actual ranking: 8th/26 in Riga

#217: Svala -- Paper (Iceland 2017)

“Drawing every bit of my truth Colour me in with your blue” I didn’t actually pay attention to this song in the follow-up to the 2017 contest. I also didn’t watch the semi-finals, which could’ve led to me neglecting the song entirely otherwise, especially I've heard a lot about Blackbird during that time. However, the summer after the contest, I discovered the song and listened to it. And I liked it! (And then I got hooked with Svala's other songs through her different groups) I was interested particularly in the lyrics, which discussed a fight between one’s mental demons and anxiety. I like the English version more than the Icelandic one; the latter is a bit more optimistic on winning against the battle whereas the former really takes the issue seriously. The production, while a bit staid, added to the feeling of helplessness with its electronic coldness. The staging also tries to incorporate this, though it didn't work in making it stand out. (I did like Svala's cape and makeup, though!) While I do love "Hear them Calling" a lot, I had a more interesting journey with Paper--it grew until it became something I highly enjoyed. Personal ranking: 6th/42 Actual ranking: DNQ -- 15th in the first semi-final in Kyiv

#216: Live Report -- Why Do I Always Get it Wrong? (United Kingdom 1989)

“You can do what you want to do now...” Honestly, this has to be one of my favorite British entries ever. While "Go" from the previous year gets a lot of acclaim because of its songwriting and Scott's performance (along with how it ended up second in the end), "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong?" is better on how it envelops a mood and could actually be found from this era (though it sadly didn't do too well commercially afterwards, sigh)

Whenever I do something wrong, or self-hate, this is the song I turn to a lot. The synthesizers drew me in—it fit well with the late 1980s-early 1990s sound elsewhere. It's also helped that Celine performed "Where Does My Heart Beat Now" earlier in the contest, which piqued my interest. And while Ray’s ponytail was a choice, it didn’t distract from how he delivered the song.

Despite getting more 12-points, it ended up losing to Yugoslavia by just six points that year. While not my favorite that year, I think it was the better one of the top three; it equally reflects the times and holds up!

Personal and actual ranking: 2nd/22 in Lausanne

#215: Tommy Nilsson -- En Dag (Sweden 1989)

“En dag vi alla förstår, En dag, när stillheten rår, En dag jag finner din hand, När vägarna möts förstår vi varann,” “One day, we all understand, One day, when silence rules One day, I find your hand When our roads meet, we will understand each other” My two favorites from 1989 are sonically different, diverging between despair and hope. I listen to "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong" a bit more, but "En Dag' would stand out for me in a few different ways, more from being just the optimistic song of the two.

The intro features really good brass, which leads way to the fun instrumental. I like how it builds, and Tommy’s interplay with the backing vocalists is incredibly strong. You get a sense of energy from the both of them as they send the song to new heights.

Basically, it's just glorious!

Personal ranking: 1st/22 Actual ranking: 4th/22 in Lausanne

Final Impressions of 1989: It's a pretty fine year, both in songs in production. There are a number of good songs there, though not many classics which hold out in the long-term (except for Vi maler byen rød, which became famous in Denmark and even became the premise of a musical!). Highlights include an overactive conductor from Turkey, two children, and an awesome interval act involving a crossbow!

#214: Bang -- Stop (Greece 1987)

“Ότι κάνεις για δόξα και λεφτά Δες τι χάνεις, αλλού είναι η χαρά”

“Whatever you do is for fame and money See what you are missing, joy is somewhere else”

I’ve heard this song compared to Wham’s output, especially with its vintage rock-n-roll sound (wake me up before you go go). This doesn’t make it any less bad, with its charming tone and thoughtful lyrics about how a girl who only wants material goods should stop chasing them.

(This is another reason why sometimes, the original-language version is better that any other one--the English version to this song has goes on a completely different tangent)

The performance also falls into vintage aesthetics, with the suits for both Thanos and Vassilis and sock-hop style dresses for the backing vocalists. It's really cute, and the way they dance fits the scene.

On another note, apparently Greeks saw this as a favorite at the time, can someone verify that?

Personal ranking: 5th/22 Actual ranking: 10th/22 in Brussels

#213: Guy Bonnet -- Marie-Blanche (France 1970)

“Nous sommes là dans une douce quiétude Nous avons mis fin à notre solitude Nos corps apprennent de tendres habitudes Et Marie-Blanche est à moi”

“We’re there in a soft stillness We’ve put an end to our loneliness Our bodies learn tender habits And Marie-Blanche is mine”

By 1970, chanson was on its way out; in its place was folk, rock-n-roll (spearheaded in France by Johnny Halladay, who has a great French version of "House of the Rising Sun"), and psychadelia. Within France itself, some of the #1 singles from that year include Comme j'ai toujours envie d'aimer, Let It Be, and Bridge over Troubled Water (a total masterpiece, I tell you).

So, what does one make of Marie-Blanche, in this case?

It's a really sweet love poem, in which Guy declares his love for the girl. and conveys a particularly cute scene. Whenever I listen to this, I envision two lovers cuddling inside while watching the snow fall during the winter. There's a sense of magic and serenity in all this, and the lyrics match the pretty piano melody.

Basically, hits are important to keep the contest alive. But songs like Marie Blanche can pull on the feels in the right ways.

Personal ranking: 2nd/12 Actual ranking: =4th/12 in Amsterdam

#212: Justyna -- Sama (Poland 1995)

“I czuła się tak marnie Poczuła się tak marnie Jakby Bóg, dobry Bóg Nie lubił pcheł..”

“And I feel poor Feeling so poor As if God, the good God Didn’t love little fleas...”

If 1994’s To nie ja represented something classic and hopeful, 1995’s Sama takes it and reverses it. (And in the grand Eurovision timeline, they're only separated by the last song of 1994, Je suis un vrai garcon from France) Instead of a young woman filled with life and singing a decent ballad, we have another one pondering herself, all alone, with nobody to help her.

Also, this is more of an acquired taste with its out-of-tune recordings and Justyna’s scream. But it doesn’t feel out of place within the 1990s, with its alternative influences and production, and I like Sama a lot for that!

Unfortunately, it also caused it to do substantially worse, which is simultaneously explainable and baffling. A good result would've made waves for future Eurovision entries; the 1990s are my favorite decade, but they did misalign quite a bit from the mainstream.

Personal ranking: 7th/23 Actual ranking: 18th/23 in Dublin

#211: The Shadows -- Let Me Be the One (United Kingdom 1975)

"You and I could have an affair/make sweet music, go anywhere"

Isn't this lyric really charming? I couldn't help but have a little giggle because of it; there's a sense of naughtiness (especially with choosing "affair"; are they trying to something illicit?) underneath it.

That said, The Shadows are mainly known for their instrumental rock, but Let Me Be the One has a neat melody line. The rock-n-roll vibe, which could be released within that decade, is light but lovely, and added a jolt of uniqueness to the otherwise poppy contest up to that point. The flubbed line in the beginning ("let me be the one who literally holds you tight", haha) adds to the whole thing, but they were able to carry on, nevertheless.

And while I like all the 1970s winners to some extent, I would switch out "Ding-a-Dong" for Let Me Be the One in terms of winners vs. runners-up; like with Sama, it could've changed the contest in a positive way.

Personal ranking: =3rd/19 Actual ranking: 2nd/19 in Stockholm

[iwanthermidnightz]

The following is the summary of Kate’s latest episode on Taylor. Forgive the back and forth and random points... Kate likes to ramble. It was literally an hour and a half of that but she did bring up some good points. This is her analyzing ‘The Archer’ among other things! For the record, I’m writing from her perspective/direct words.

————————————————-

-Thinks The Archer is beautiful, ethereal, and lush

-It’s very Donna Lewis, very Robyn, it’s a nostalgic sound, very Jack Antonoff, very Lorde Melodrama.. its a certain sound reverberating female celestial voices that reminds her of the 90s and she likes it

-It’s a promo single which means it’s released to promote the album, it’s not released to radio stations for airplay- no music video

-Sounds transitional, unfinished song… it’s building

-Released to convey a level of emotional vulnerability

-Taylor said in radio interviews in the UK that this album is very pure and it’s not in response to something like she said reputation was

-“Lover is about what songs would I write for the sake of writing songs? Most of them are about love in the sense that they’re a love letter to love itself”

-We’re in an era with VERY little information

-We’ve seen Joe twice in 2019 (go figure)

-Taymerica, Squad, Calvin, we see her all the time

-Then she gets in this mysterious private ‘relationship’ with Joe almost so much so that there’s no reason to speculate or think about her personal life because it’s so under the radar and she’s never officially talked about him

-She automatically likes his Instagram posts within 2 minutes which a lot of us think is some sort of thing Instagram does for people like her

-She has a theory Taylor and Taylornation can see stories without read receipts (duh)

-The Archer represents a person that's reflecting on their behavior and their patterns and thinking about their relationships in life and thinking about the role of self-sabotage as it relates to your personal relationships

-Talks about the dive bar situation, she needs to spend more time thinking about it

-She talks about the easter eggs leading up to the archer and debates whether Taylor planned this out 3 years ago because of the archer angel in the delicate mv, and the way the people in the delicate mv see right through her, it makes sense

-She always wondered what aspects of Taylors personal life is a media narrative. What has she actually confirmed herself? What are these songs really saying?

-She thinks the songs on reputation sound like really closeted anthems

-It’s none of her business what her sexuality is but it is her business to interpret her songs the way any open-minded person should

-So much of reputation she really read being about a relationship with a woman because it was so grounded in secrecy, quiet moments, darkest little paradise, happened for the first time, I don’t want you like a best friend, everybody thinks that they know us but they know nothing about us, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, I had a bad feeling… (yes she named them all in the same breath)

-Lyrics have never been about the protection and privatization of involuntarily public love, they’ve been lyrics about a perception of a forbidden love -It’s one thing to hide from the paparazzi, and to be like “something happens when everybody finds out, loose lips sink ships all the damn time”, recites ‘I Know Places’ basically- calls it a closeted anthem because Taylor literally comes out of closet doors on the 1989 tour.

-Thinks there are themes in Taylors songs that she might miss as a straight person and doesn’t want to discount them

-She was reading an article in Vulture written by none other than known Kaylor truther Jill Gutowitz, mentioned how Jill very openly talks about Gaylor and Karlie Kloss and even recently Tree Paine liked one of her tweets

-Tree Paine is a mastermind and has boots on the ground everywhere (Indeed she is!)

-Thinks the Tree Paine like was strategic

-Jill said in an article that there were implicitly queer lyrics placed throughout ‘The Archer’: ‘pace like a ghost’, ‘heroes die all alone’, ‘help me hold onto you’, dying alone and holding on to someone who isn’t right for you are all important tenants of the lesbian canon (shes quoting Jill)

-Kate did not pick up on any of that cause shes straight haha

-Mentions how Taylors fans are divided by those who think her songs are blatantly queer and those who don’t and believe the Toe relationship is real bc the media shows them that and they believe it firsthand (true)

-She quotes the reputation prologue “when the album comes out gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test and there will be slideshows and photos backing up each incorrect theory because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it it didn’t happen right? Let me say it again louder for those in the back… we think we know someone but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us.”

-Kate says that those are her actual straightforward words and you can’t read that and say that it's not okay to believe in things we haven’t seen or that it’s calling her a liar to only believe what we’ve seen if she is telling us to our faces that we think we know her but the truth is we only know the version of herself that she has chosen to show us

-That is an admission of Taylor being strategic in what we know, and a ton we don’t know

-The prologue should’ve opened up the doors for an and all theories to be fair game but somehow it divided the fandom deeper than she’s ever seen

-Calling her a liar about what she’s told us thus far is not fair (it takes a mature person to understand that)

-The Taylor Swift strategic businesswoman who keeps us on our toes waiting for new music and clues is part of her success- not all. But there is a difference between that Taylor and the Taylor she is behind closed doors. She’s still a person. So to say she's a liar is not right.

-We can’t imagine what it takes to be in her position and not have lost her mind yet

-Maybe shes had a breakdown but we haven’t seen it (wasn’t that her disappearance before reputation?)

-Kate goes back to ‘The Archer’ and her internal struggle

-She read something that Taylor liked on Tumblr where someone said that The Archer is the song version of her poem called “If you’re anything like me”... epiphany.

-The song is about talking about her shortcomings while simultaneously accepting them and saying if you’re anything like me I’m sorry but you’ll be fine

-Kate recites the whole poem now lol

-Showcases a lot of strength in your weakness and pointing out the importance of going through these things in order to find oneself and to acknowledge that some things are just pillars of the way you are

-Back to the archer - this song is about the unwelcome justice system in her head in terms of patterns, knowing how she's going to react, in terms of wishing she were another way and objectively being able to see that but not being able to feel that is a very human experience to constantly be in between your head and your heart

-You only know your own experience, anyone that's hurt you stays in your subconscious or otherwise and we often react in response or defense of it and when she’s saying “no amount of friends at 25 will fill the empty seats at the lunch tables of your past and the teams that picked you last but darling, you keep trying”

-She has been criticized so many times and publicly taken down, shes felt like she can't do anything right at times

-Brings up the ME! Performance at the Billboard awards and no one talked about the performance, just that she ‘copied Beyonce’

-Stuff like that that was not intentional is often pegged on her for better or worse, correct or not

-To be accused of copying or being tone-deaf when shes probably orchestrated this team to make sure none of that happened would be so thankless and frustrating and sometimes the hate is louder

-At times in her career, she's had no choice but to jump to her own overwhelming defense

-You can't trust a lot of people if you are easily used and you do have to be somewhat cut and dry and I think that being put in an environment where it benefits you to be cut and dry because there are so many shady people but maybe she doesn’t really want to be

-She has no choice but to be black or white about her life and feelings and standing up for herself

-Back to The Archer- Kate doesn’t understand the point of “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey”

-It’s kind of like I’ve been the attacker and I’ve been the victim, I’ve had the upper hand and I’ve had the lower hand, I’ve been the dumper and I’ve been dumped

-Kate thinks Taylor’s been on the attack and defense and she knows what it feels like to be treated the exact same way she treats people and therein lies the issue

-That’s a confusing thing to process in your head period and to communicate in a song is inevitably going to be a little bit frantic and convoluted but that's kind of the point. The anxiety of how you handle things and how you accept yourself despite the way you likely mishandle things

-Taylor starts out saying “I’m ready for combat” in the most reluctant, delicate voice that is not indicative of somebody ready for combat

-That sounds like somebody who is a reluctant participant in their own patterns and they don’t want to be doing it but they know they’re going to and they know they’ll do it again

-These patterns and issues that we have exhibit over and over the reason for self-loathing and it's almost harder when you’re older and can acknowledge that you do these things and they don’t work for you but I still do them anyway

-It’s that self awareness paired with the active participation in these bad habits that make a person really start to doubt themselves and in using figures of speech like “I cut off my nose just to spite my face”, like that cuts deep bc she's basically being like “I overreact and I know I do and on purpose”

-In acting out of anxiety and fear you often end up riding off alone

-At a point you see people come and go, you know how this whole song and dance goes, at a point you start to mourn it before it's over

-That’s kind of like “yeah I never figured out the best way to maintain these relationships and I’m tired of it, I never grew up, I don’t know why I am this way but since I know they come and go and since I’ve always ridden on the train alone that probably what I’ll do again but with your help, help me hold onto you… like I want you to be the exception”

-We all think of ourselves as a catch and a trainwreck and it’s not a bad thing

-Looking for someone’s flaws is something everyone does in relationships

-As it relates to in the past when she’s been burned by somebody’s dark side she wants to call it when she sees it and lock the door before she gets robbed but then there's the conflicting part where she’s like “well what I’m alright, what if I can trust you and I’m alright right here?”

-The entire song is kind of like a back and forth of opposing feelings

-To cut off your nose to spite your face is basically a metaphor for overreacting

-She brings up the Hiddleswift stunt and Taylor revealing that she was Nils Solberg for some reason (connecting it to the metaphor)

(KATE IS RAMBLING SO I’M ONLY ADDING IMPORTANT THINGS NOW)

-We’re so quick to discount people's feelings just because they're in a position of fame and fortune and power but I think we would all feel no less us with money if anything everything’s intensified

-Taylor must have to put up a front all the time because she's not allowed to complain or have bad days when that is your normal and any therapist will tell you you can only heal operating out of your own normal.

-Pain is pain and when you start to compare pain is when you start to trivialize, minimize and not work through what you’re going through and you start to avoid/ignore it

-Taylors in a weird position where she probably has a more internal struggle that anybody

-Through her music we should acknowledge and think about what it’s like on that side, we owe her the respect to be like damn.. this must be hard

-Talks about the “all the king's horses” line and Humpty Dumpty

-All of the resources and people trying to help Taylor at her disposal and they still can’t fix this and that is an empty feeling, like a lost cause

-When Kate hears ‘The Archer’ she hears a highly anxious episode that is not just processing the individual situation going on but then doing a thing where you project it on every single thing that's ever going to happen in your life

OK FIN.

[theskyexists]

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

I really really really really really really really liked that.

That was probably my favourite episode from series 12 so far. Which is silly maybe - but it had everything I like from Doctor Who. Which is interesting to think about for me.

First: REFERENCE TO BILL oh my god. Oh.....I clapped two hands over my mouth when the Doctor said that.

I loved it so much because the writer gave the Doctor such.... power and darkness (limits) without it being totally overwritten. Her whole confrontation with the cyberman (I adore Jodie’s acting only more and more and I look forward to series 13 - god please do s14 too) was deeply badass (’did they get bored halfway through’? ‘that was embarrassing’). Her being so smug about her ‘Time Lord magnetism’ and being an excellent host. Her use of telepathy (even only occasional watcher the bf was like ‘she can do that?? that’s cool!’), and then that rather traumatising telepathy Time Lord trick (very cool) - her apology for that had real weight. Her being smart but not just that - using others’ observations and speculations to plug into the unravelling of the mystery - I love that - that’s always my favourite dynamic.

Love the way they just burst in - I forgot that she just fuckin DOES that lol. ANYTHING COULD CHANGE THIS MOMENT OF HISTORY, she says - yea well then why the fuck were you here in the first place you idiot lol. (and why do they always expect so much from their human cultural heroes hahaha - first Shakespeare now Mary Shelley and co)

Love the way history was woven in. It just made a lot of sense - it was clear that a real depth of understanding was behind this episode. It informed the characters and gave them that little extra hmm groundedness - they exist outside of this episode - it’s a wonderful shortcut that you can use in historicals which i personally feel they didn’t entirely manage in Tesla’s episode - that definitely felt overcrowded. I like the brief return or reference to Moffat’s theme of words and storytelling being important. I bought the way Mary Shelley would have been inspired by this experience - what with the emphasis on the cyberman being a father.

Everything came together at a very very good pace. Even the stuff that wasn’t part of the plot did. I just love that they put in unexplained creepy shit deliberately and the companions are now adventure-savvy (alien parasite!) and then it’s like - wait a fuckin second - they were really ghosts??????  HAHA I LOVE THAT (and the lil moment of comedy with the Doctor going: shrug maybe the do exist). Also Graham ate ghost food!! The haunted house concept was executed very well anyway - getting led around and around. The Doctor being ahead of the curve (’it’s like a panic room’) - I never would have jumped to that conclusion but the episode later makes it make such perfect sense - I LOVE that - that’s how it’s supposed to be.

The concept of the cyberium is very very very cool - the idea of it possessing you - the process of it. And the question of why the cyberium would try to keep the cyberman out is hmmmm not jarring in the least because we’re going to find out. His reference to being ‘resistance’ was very interesting. I also think he was an appropriately threatening presence (i love the cyberman sound effect - it’s so ...it has a lot of impact)

Yaz noticing Ms. Clairmont pilfering a knife and then confronting her was a great lil ‘cop’ moment. Their lil talk was uhhhhh very thasmin. I was like ---- uhhhhhhhh. They put this on a little thick?? If they’d done more of this sooner I would have liked that but now I’m in that pleasant but annoying queerbaiting emotion where I enjoy it but have to roll my eyes like - please. Quit it or do something with it. But I’ll simply tip my hat at Maxine Alderton. Also, is this supposed to be foreshadowing that Yaz is going to leave her own Byron who does not care enough for her?

Ryan encouraging Mary Shelley from his own experience of not giving up - I LOVE RYAN SO MUCH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER. Also Ryan getting just a lil: my Doctor dad says NO GUNS! :) :) And Graham giving off such an intense grandfatherly vibe that the tantrum-ing Doctor actually went to take a nap. Which I think is hilarious if we are to take a parallel with OUR Doctor - I specifically have to think about the excellent fanfic trend of our dear Doctor refusing to sleep and these companions piling on to make her.

Byron trying to get with MRS. DOCTOR was both hilarious - and tickled me in that ‘ah she’s a different gender now and that makes this wonderfully possible’ place - and the Doctor being so annoyed - and his poem being about her - well i kinda wish they’d ended on Frankenstein or a mention of the bet you know but hmm. That’s my only complaint because I did love the choice of poem for the Doctor and the foreshadowing.

I just adore the Doctor being admired. Even if it’s Byron.

Wait one more complaint: all the servants got murdered which gives me flashbacks to Kerblam! :/ Also hm. I’m still not sure why uh the bones tried to kill Ryan. Was that the ghosts or the cyberium? wasn’t a jarring red herring anyway.

Obviously I also loved the very very gutsy (for Jodie’s era) discussion on what is morally correct - temporally correct action. I found it shocking (and the Doctor obv also) that Ryan was instantly up for sacrificing Shelley (related to his worries about Earth maybe). That whole speech about it not always being a flat structure - sometimes it’s a mountain and the Doctor’s at the summit. That was well-written, well-acted and hit that exact sweet spot of angst for me. She calls out the power dynamics, the burden she bears, HERSELF - she hands it to them and they hand it right back - as they always have. It lifts the curtain on a bit of the charade they’re running. ‘Sometimes even I can’t win’. This great moment from the trailer was only greater in context.

And then she lets the Cyberman have what it wants. Because she can’t be sure that he’s bluffing - even if the cybermen MUST have come from Earth --- right?? So she destroys the desperate attempt by somebody out there in the future to change the future - who was willing to eliminate their own existence (as she asks the fam to consider) to stop that future from happening...

But the Doctor opts to push the losses forwards into time.

It just all...comes together very well. None of it was superfluous. And we learned some more about the companions and the Doctor as well as these historical figures AND a less than light sprinkling of overarching plot - without it taking over the whole episode (which I’m afraid I didn’t entirely like about Fugitive of the Judoon).

Also that waistcoat actually looked incredible and I loved how there was a reference to Ada in this!!!

[powerfultenderness]

Love's Philosophy/Secret

Title: Love’s Philosophy/Secret

Rating: T

Pairing: V/Reader

"Nothing in the world is single; All things by a law divine In another's being mingle- Why not I with thine?" (Love’s Philosophy, Percy Shelley)

I told my love, I told my love,  I told her all my heart, Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.  Ah! she did depart! (Love’s Secret, William Blake)

-

You inwardly sighed as your eyes tracked the lean dark haired poet. 'Devil hunter.' You had to remind yourself. This was no man to casually crush on. 

Even if he were to notice you he'd simply assume that you were there on a job. You were a messenger, a courier, for Morrison. After the older man noticed how often the shop got attacked he decided it was best to send someone in his place. You weren't a fighter, but you were quick and needed money. 

'Besides,' you thought, 'any chance to see him.'

He seemed to notice you staring and you quickly shot him a friendly smile as a greeting and went back to discussing their newest case with Nero. 

“Sounds fun,” Nero grinned, cocky in his ability as a devil hunter. 

You smiled and turned back to V, who had been standing next to Nero listening to the job proposal. “What about you, V? You in?” 

You were always kind to him, making a point of keeping eye contact and smiling at him. He’d thought that was just the kind of person that you were, but now as he started watching your interaction with Nero he noticed the difference. You were kind to the other man sure, but you didn’t smile at Nero the same way you smiled at him. A part of him was warmed by this fact. You had a smile reserved just for him. 

V gave you a slightly lopsided smirk and inclined his head, leaning against his cane. “And, when night comes, I’ll go To places fit for woe.”

“Great!” You said, you smile widening even more because that meant that you’d get another chance to see him when the job was done. 

Wordlessly V left, presumably to get ready for the job, but what that entailed you didn’t know. You hadn’t noticed you’d been staring at V as he left with obvious longing in your eyes. That is until Nero, amused by your smitten state, whistled. 

“You got it bad for him?” 

“Am I into a man that waxes poetry like that? Hell yea. The guy is literally romantic.” You chuckled at your own joke, expecting to hear Nero’s laughter too.

Nero only shook his head slightly, eyebrows scrunched up a little, clearly not getting your joke. 

“V’s favorite poet to spout is William Blake. William Blake, one of the most prominent poets of the Romantic era?” 

He gave you a forced laugh, “Haha, hilarious.”

You rolled your eyes, “I bet he would have thought so.” 

“Then why don’t you just tell him?” Nero asked, starting to get annoyed with the conversation, even though he started it.

“As Blake, and probably V, would put it: “Never seek to tell thy love.”

Nero scoffed, “What? Why?”

It always seemed so easy to those already in relationships. You’d bet your next paycheck though, that he wasn’t nearly as confident about his feelings before it was clear that Kyrie returned them. So you continued Blake’s depressing poem. “I told my love, I told my love, I told her all my heart, Trembling cold in ghastly fears. Ah! she did depart!”

“Tch. Doesn’t he also say something about desires and restraint?” 

That actually snapped you out of your increasingly depressing thoughts. “Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” Then a wide grin spread across your face, “Look at you, Nero! Paying attention and shit! V’ll make a poet of you yet!” 

“Shut up!” 

“I bet Kyrie would love it, actually!”

He sighed, “Get out of here!”

Your laughter echoed slightly as you left, trying to think of a way to tell V how you felt the next time you saw him. 

-

Nero was the only one around to collect the payment for the last job, much to your disappointment. So you didn’t get the chance to see V again for another two weeks. Luckily this gave you time to consider your feelings and how you would go about telling him (and what you were going to do if he rejected you!) 

It wasn’t quite an ideal situation, however. 

 “Shit! Shit! Shit!” You thought, pedaling as fast as you could. 

Yep. You thought you were fast enough to be a delivery person for Devil May Cry when you only had a bicycle. Usually it was no big deal, Nero and V, and Trish and Lady, were very good at handling demons. But today the shop was empty of friends and surrounded by enemies. 

Willing your legs to pump faster, though they were already pushing as hard as they could, you barely escaped a swipe from a claw. “Ha!” You were foolish enough to cheer. Only to collide with a demon that appeared in front of you as you looked back. 

As your bike was stopped by the bulk of the demon, you went flying past it and its menacing claws and fangs. You managed to tuck in your arms and cover your face as momentum pushed you forward while gravity was determined to bring you back down. You let out a strangled choke as you were caught mid air by your shirt, just a few feet from meeting pavement. 

“At least you’re lighter than Nero, girly.” A sardonic voice said as he huffed and set you down gently.

“Griffon!” Of course you were familiar with V’s, well, familiars. 

“You’re welcome. Now stay back.” He didn’t stick around long enough for you to hug him, which you had been about to do, no matter how awkward it would have been to hug a big bird.

Griffon flew off towards V and Shadow, who were taking care of the demons with ease. With the addition of their avian ally, the rest of the demons fell and V finished them off with his cane.

With his enemies dead, V turned around to face you, no doubt about to quote some poetry or maybe even inquire about your health. But you didn’t quite let him. Quicker than he would have given you credit for, you lunged at him and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He was stunned, his words stuck in his throat as he realized that you were shaking. 

“Was that your first demon encounter?” His wrapped his left arm around you, resting his hand in the middle of your back. 

You shook your head against his chest, noticing that your face was met with both leather and skin, and started to relax now that you were in his arms. Safe. 

“First encounter I’ve been alone though. Usually one of the others is around and everyone kills them so quickly I never had time to be scared of them.” Now you understood why Morrison started outsourcing this job to you. 

With the way V was holding you, how everything was quiet and empty, it was the perfect time to confess. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to say three simple words. ‘I like you’. 

He called your name again, using the handle of his cane to gently tilt your head up so that you were looking at him. The intimate action and the concern that laced over his lovely face, that you heard in his perfect voice, was enough to make you swallow your fears. 

“And the sunlight clasps the earth And the moonbeams kiss the sea: What is all this sweet work worth,” you glanced around at the dead demons and the destruction the fight caused, “If thou kiss me not?”

His dark eyes stared into yours for a moment before they flickered down to your slightly parted lips. He considered your words, recognizing them as belonging to Percy Shelly, recognizing them as an admission of how you felt about him. And how he felt about you.

V dropped his right hand, holding his cane, and captured your lips with his own. That was all that was needed for pent up emotions to come forth. The kiss turned from nearly chaste to heated, a small nibble at your lower lip and his tongue meeting yours. You moved your hands from around his torso to grip the lapels of his jacket, clinging to him as you desperately closed what little space there was between you. His hands on your hips pulling you to him just the same. 

He pulled away first, a deep hum vibrating close enough to your lips to melt your will. But his eyes flickered behind you and he straightened. “I’m afraid, your bike didn’t survive the attack.” He said as he lifted his cane and pointed at your mangled bike.

Oh shit! You turned around, even though his left arm was still holding your waist, and frowned. “Aww man! What am I gonna do now?” 

He glanced around and pointed his cane at a payphone, “Help is always near.” 

You frowned and mumbled. “Yea but she might charge me for the ride.” 

V chuckled and led you to the payphone, not willing to relinquish contact just yet. “Worry not for the job isn’t done.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” 

He smiled at you as he called for Nico, luckily she wasn’t that far. “Those were Hell Cainas, which means a Judecca shouldn’t be far off.” 

“Oh cool. Sooo, we were making out while we were still in danger.” Actually, that was kinda hot, but you weren’t going to admit that out loud.

He chuckled, “You were never in danger. I can assure you that.” 

Though you wanted to kiss him again, it seemed like the right moment, Nico’s van sailed through the air and skidded to a halt just a few feet away from where you and V were standing.

“Hey there!” Nico called, hanging out of the window. 

V walked you to the van and grasped your hand in his, bowing while leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. 

“Bid me farewell, and smile.”

You blushed from such a gesture, you really should have expected something like that from V, but smiled nonetheless. “See you later, V.” 

As he followed Griffon, whose complaints had been ignored, towards the demon summoner, Nico laughed. “Wow! Ain’t he romantic!” 

You gasped and turned to her, “That’s what I said!” 

[bleusidemv]

how do i: ask you everything on the ateez ask without it being too much lmao 😘

Im sorry Im only aswering this now 5 years later but I keept it save for lonely night like tonight Im so sooooorry but thanks for giving me something to do to distract me ily.

Who is your bias in ateez? Decisions who? I cant decide but Id say...Hongjoong propably...but like...the others aswell...uhm yeah

Who was your very first bias? Hongjoong thats why Im sticking to him.

Why is your bias your bias? HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DUDE??? He is so precious like he csn be such a cute lil babyboy being all sweet and caring and he tries so hard and he gives so much and he looks out for the members like they are his actual kids and he is so damn talented in anyway wether it be rapping, singing, dancing, writing, composing like boi leave something for the rest of us ok? No but for real he is a whole package and I would propably die infront of him.

How long have you been an ateez stan? Ever since the very first dance cover video back when they were still kq fellaz and you couldnt see their faces bc of the snapbacks. Watched their mini series and couldnt wait for their debut then it finally came and gave me an instsnt kill.

Why did you become an ateez stan? I saw the video and I was curious as to what they looked like and when I saw they started a show I watched it and I really waited in front of my phone every week for the new episode to drop and they were all so naturla and honest and funny in the show so they captured me from the first second on.

What was your fave era? Uhm there havent been that much by now haha but I really loved the debut era bc it was so different then anything Ive seen before and they were like my little secret that not a lot of people knew of. Ofc Im happy they get the fame they deserve but ut was also nice to know something others didnt.

Rapper line or vocal line? Rapper line

Hyung line or maknea line? Hyung line

Ateez or memeteez? I dont really know that that means but I like memes and they always deliver so Id say memeteez

Fave titel track? Pirate king

Fave sidetrack? Twilight, My Way, Desire ,Light and From

Share an unpopular opinion on anything relared to ateez: I like the mullet. Yeah sometimes the extensions were to obvious but other then that I like it. It suits him well. But I miss his mixnine red hair ugh

Share your fave meme:

Favorite ateez mv? Treasure or HALA HALA short version

Fave ateez moment: I just recently saw something where a choreographer was talking to them and said with others he had to struggle with who could do which moves but with them he knows they all can do everything and they all looked so happy and satisfied and that made me weak in my knees.

Who do you ship? I dont ship at all.

Name one member who isnt your bias but: Jonghos vocals??? His dancing?? His looks? He is so smoll and cute but like so hot aswell and strong as heck and I like his style in clothing and he is so funny...yeah...hes that ONE ONE.

Have you ever seen them live? SADLY I HAVENT I WANTED TO GO TO BERLIN BUT I COULDNT GET TICKETS SO NO IM STILL CRYING ABOUT IT

If ateez was on a deserted island who would be the first to go and why? Woosan Id say. Like you cant seperate them anyways and they are both drama queens so I feel like they would give in the easiest and just leave together.

If you could tell one member one thing what would it be? Id tell Jongho not to worry about his wait and looks too muuch bc he is the cutest already and his chubby cheeks are the most adorable thing ever and will keep him young in the future so he should be proud of them eventho I know its hard(sister over here feeling the same lol)

Write a poem about ateez: I lov smoll bois. I lov toll bois. I lov all ateet bois.

Say one thing about ateez you wanted to say but never did: okay so I hate saying stuff like "someone gonna be the next someone else" and I dont like comparing but I feel like they could be the next bts in the way that they are from a small company and that they have to work super hard and do everything themselves but keep it real and achieve stuff bc they really just are that talented and deserving of it. So yeah I feel liek they will definitly be the ones on tv and international shows and everything in the future.

Did you watch kq fellaz content pre debut? Yes I did

Fave variety they have done? I really loved the whisper challenge they did with heyitsfei. They were so cute and funny and their english killed me

Treasure or pirate king? Pirate king

Say my name or hala hala? Hala hala

Desire or promise? Desire

Stay or twilight? Twilight

Fave dance mv? Pirate king

Fave choreo? Also pirate king

Fave mv concept? Treasure

Tag your fave ateez blogs:

@yunhos-gf @yeosangkang

Do you share a sign with anyone in ateez? Nope no pisces boy for me

A quality you and your bias share? We are bothe very caring and fond of the people we love around us.

Are you the same age as anyone in ateez? Yunho and me are only 19 days apart.

That was a long ride but it was so much fun ahhh I lov u honey

[snoopyswift-blog]

Be My Valentine, Taylor Swift

It’s not valentine’s day or anything, (but when it is remind me :) ) but i wrote this poem for valentines day back in 2015 to enter a writing competition to win tickets for Ed Sheeran concert. Unfortunately, i didn't win the prize so i never went to the concert, but hey i did for taylor swift more than for myself. Even though it’s the reputation era now but i wrote this to praise the fearless+speak now era because it stays my favourite haha (i might change my mind but reputation isn't released yet) The brilliant part in this poem is “All I can see is a strong young lady, Growing up day by day, Never fear of what will happen, Even if it’s on your bad day” because the Ready For IT MV trailer was released today and you made a comeback to Kanye West being a misogynist towards you, and the body suit/armour that you wore was to show that you’re not afraid of him and you are still proud to be yourself, just like how i said you are <3 you really didn't change, you are still the strong lady that i described in the poem, even after 2-3 years of writing this. YOU GET ME SO NOSTALGIC AND EMOTIONAL THANK YOU FOR NOT CHANGING YOUR WILL <3 #meansalot  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WOULD LIKE TO THANK @delightswift FOR BEING MY BEST FRIEND AND BEING MY TUMBLR TWIN AND HELPING ME OUT WITH EVERYTHING. By the way i have this english literature test tomorrow on poems and i am currently posting a poem for luck and blessings!!! I love literature and taylor’s work is ART AND LITERATURE. @taylorswift we have so much in common :3 THIS POEM IS DEDICATED TO YOU @taylorswift thanks for creating a marvellous childhood for both me and catherine @delightswift #longlivethememories

Taylor my baby you’re pretty from the inside to the outside

You entrance me with your beautiful big blue eyes

But what you mean to me is so much more

And this is what the poem is for

You are just like a big sister to me

We were meant to be

Just knowing your existence makes me happy

And I shall declare myself as your loyal Swiftie (a fan of Taylor Swift)

Every single song you wrote

The lyrics and the notes

It gives me that sincere feeling

And it makes you so endearing

 Even though you’re not around me

Your songs somehow motivate me

If a person can give me that much power

Deserves to let me sing her songs in the shower

 “You’re lucky enough to be different

Never change” are the words you said

To make us believe and appreciate ourselves

And I’d like to thank you for building up my confidence

 Whenever I see you on stage

All I can see is a strong young lady

Growing up day by day

Never fear of what will happen

Even if it’s on your bad day

 Taylor you will always be special to me

Because to me, you are the one and only

Taylor you are the apple of my eye

So won’t you be my Valentine?