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#hank j wimbleton x reader
nowheregoat · 2 months
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Request wasn't given in asks
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But here's some Hank cuddles, hiding in his tits
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lilkasr · 1 year
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....idn
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redamoureux · 7 months
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Dating Hank HCs? Also do you have some rules for oneshot/hc requests?
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╰﹒FOREVER WITH!
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General Hank J. Wimbleton Dating & Marriage Headcanons
↳ content warning:
• genre: romantic
• a/n: I decided to make this into one, i hope you don't mind it! And for the ask, i'm not really sure? Any basic rules i suppose, you could also write your plot so i can have better idea on what to write ^^ art by: @MA17_MD
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DATING
To start it off, it'll take him awhile to get accustomed to show his more "vulnerable" side especially during the first few stages of your relationship. Some could even mistake that the you two were just comrades.
So he'll likely only become affectionate when the two of you are alone.
Though slowly but surely he's going to be bold enough to start holding hands with you infront of the other crews and even hugging with blood stained hands. It may sound like he's overdramatic with these entire thing but to him it means that he trusted you enough.
Hank was a odd habit of just staring generally, so he'll probably space out while you explain something.
If you happen to work as a medic in the base, expect him to come frequently either with heavy injuries, as you're stitching his wounds and scolding him, he'll only stare in adoration at you holding him so gently.
Using his stealth he also likes to surprise you from behind like when you're trying to reach for something on a shelf, he'll simply put his hands around your waist before picking you up and making you yelp.
Since he doesn't often open his mask, hank prefers kissing you on the forehead
He also enjoys training with you, sometimes letting you win on purpose to see your bright confident smile.
MARRIAGE
This is the phrase where hank's already feeling alot more comfortable with showing affections and thinking it's time to step up in the relationship.
Though he doesn't feel like even doing what a normally proper wedding would look like, eager to just put the ring on your finger and officially call you his.
Doc had to explain to him that it is somewhat a necessary to do so, making hank rethink before obliging and doc began helping him with the arragement.
Now it's nevada and hank we're talking about, so of course the wedding certainly isn't going to be like most. Hank goes all his way throughout the city to search for the perfect type of ring and attire you'd love.
When he did finally found all of that, hank's going to be stimming alot on the way back, it's hard to tell if he's actually feeling nervous or really excited.
All while the team are busy helping with planning and arranging the entire thing. It's not like hank's not working either though! No, no, this place is going to be where your special day takes place, hank wants to make sure that everything has to be perfect as possible.
Usually he's not a perfectionist and while even confusing other members in the base, aswell as creeping them from the behind and staring as they shakily hung some decorations up as if they placed something wrong even just a bit he's going to twist their arm.
Could you blame a raging mass murderer man who's just so in love though?
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REBLOGS/ FEEDBACK/ COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED!
@redamoureux
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slimmestslime · 8 months
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some wimbling
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heluvaku · 8 months
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i am saying this loud and PROUD and non anonymous
MADNESS COMBAT HANK SMUT HCS🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡
youre welcome
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𝐻𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝒥 𝒲𝒾𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑜𝓃 𝒮𝓂𝓊𝓉 𝐻𝒸𝓈 .
Hank J Wimbleton | "The Protagonist" x Gender-Neutral Reader Smut Headcanons .
warnings ; smut , degradation , rough sex mentions , bondage , dumbification if you squint , brat taming .
author's note ; AAAGGGHHH JOLIE I LOVE YOU FOR THIS . /P hank is SOOOO fine you don't get me.... i'm gonna keep it real with you i think my pussy wrote this instead of my brain BUT ANYWAYS enjoy the hcs y'all !!! shoo go read
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✦ He's aggressive. Like, REALLY aggressive.
✦ Hesitance to fuck you rough and deep is at an absolute zero. He wants to see you writhe under him for hours on end, it's thrilling to him. If I had to label someone as 'THE rough dom' it would be Hank.
✦ The biggest sadist you will ever meet in your lifetime. He's all for spanking, humiliation, choking, everything of the sort. The type of guy to smack your cock/pussy then continue stroking you off/fingering you.
✦ On that note, Hank loves fingering. He thinks fingering you fast as fuck then slowing down right as you're about to cum is the funniest thing in the world.
✦ Huge on degradation. Calls you a whore and slut any chance he gets. Possibly one of his favorite things to do.
✦ A brat tamer if I've ever seen one. Hank loves when you act like a bitch, it gives him reason to fuck the daylights out of you. Your pleas and apologies spur him on as he's pushing you into the mattress, a brutal pace being put on your poor, fucked out hole.
✦ Definitely loves Bondage and Ropework in general. He'll be intricate with the rope or just tie you up and fuck you -- it depends on how he feels and how bad he wants you.
✦ Likes to cum inside and on you. Specifically on your face and stomach. Hank thinks you look pathetic and it's attractive to him. He makes a smiley face with his cum. He's a silly billy at heart I swear <//3
✦ Hank's favorite position is the Full Nelson. It's something about how he can lift up your legs so effortlessly and make you bounce on him that makes him insane.
✦ Now, Hank may be brutal, but he's not a complete monster. You two have a safe word, and as soon as you utter it he's off you like that.
✦ I imagine him not being the best at aftercare, but he certainly tries for you. You're one of the few people he deeply cares about, after all. He usually makes sure you're not majorly hurt and goes to sleep with you in his arms, big spooning.
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@ orpherizz 2023 . do not share or repost .
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imjustheremam · 7 months
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HANK J. WIMBLETON
Platonic/Romantic Headcanons
Warning: this for not for kids also there will be some spoilers, if you don't like my headcanons please don't complain, also their will be some spoilers at the end.
Platonic
Hank J. Wimbleton, we all know who this grunt is, the best mercenary, assassin, and cold-blooded criminal of Nevada.
Hank is somewhere in his 30s or 40s maybe in his 50s
Hank is no joke, so meeting him will either be your demise, or give you trauma.
But you were lucky to be hired by 2bdamned (aka S.Q), which means Hank WILL have to tolerate you despite he doesn't want to. (this is my headcanon of reader)
Hank isn't the type to befriend since he only cares about missions and killing for his pleasure.
But you somehow befriending HIM the dangerous grunt in Nevada!! You basically made everyone at the S.Q fear for your safety, but hey i won't argue.
If your younger than him like 19 or lower Prepare to be grandchild because he's going to be your GRANDPA, like almost any other grandpa he takes the lead and will kinda protect or train you if your a rookie.
Even if your a medic your going out on missions since that's the reason why 2bdamned recruited you, your the supporter of the team, so Hank is going have to deal with you healing him and the others on missions.(Also Skinner will be teaching you when you get back)
Now if your older like 20 or above, Hank will treat you like Deimos and Sanford, but since you befriended him, he will treat you kindly but still be rude as always.
Hank will still act like a grandpa but if your like more older than the others he will treat you like 2bdamned only you might annoy him a little...
Even if your younger or older, hank will refuse to listen or let you treat his injuries...
But hank will help you on missions and might actually let you be his partner in crime
Now if you were just an average grunt he would've killed you unless you helped him or gave him supplies and BAM you got 1% of his trust, so good luck gaining his trust...
ROMANTIC
Now Hank isn't the type to fall in love or be romantic but hey, we're all simps let's do this.
Ok so Hank is the type of lover to take things slow because he's never been a relationship, he also isn’t much into affectionate things, so don't get too ahead.
So give him sometime, he still new to this. And when he finally gets comfortable, you then can show him your love but teach him please, isn't good at this..
Hank will only date you if your older like in your 20s or 30s, afterall he is kinda old (so those who are younger, sorry but your nothing but a grandchild to him or a random ass kid with a knife).
Hank will act like normal but he will show his kindness and love when both of you are alone, he likes to keep the relationship in secret, because he doesn't want anyone to find out especially when he has so many enemies after him.
Hank is overprotective when he on missions with you and will sometimes try his best to treat your injuries(yeah your gonna have to help him)
If your relationship gets bigger and better hank will act a little confident and might try to flirt with you when your alone with him, he will also try his best to hug you or kiss you.
But since hank can't kiss he will bonk his head softly to yours, while you give him a peck on his metal jaw or cheek.
But for his flirting it sounds like a threat but in a loving way
Hank would spy on deimos and Sanford just to learn to flirt alittle better (but sometimes he gets caught spying)
Hank is not stupid he still understand what affectionate hugs, cuddles and more but will pretend not to know just to see you teach him how or he's just doesn't want to be soft in public.
Now if the relationship is now at its highest, hank will no longer hide his relationship with you and deimos will tease the living sh!t out of you and hank...maybe...
Deimos will also help hank which hank will mostly refuse due to not liking the annoying pyro-maniac, but hank will try...maybe
2bdamned didn't actually approve of this but didn’t argue, 2bdamned let this slide since he wants you and hank to finish missions...
Sanford and Deimos actually worry about you having a relationship with Hank, like...your dating a grunt that tried to kill them (watch or play madness combat: project Nexus 2 you'll understand)
Also the A.A.H.W will also try to kidnap you or kill you just to make hank suffer...
When you and hank date, he would prefer the date to be private and secure because of A.A.H.W, Tricky, Jebus, Bandits and everyone that's trying to kill him
During dating hank will most likely keep staring at you because he doesn't know what to say or do but, but he won't lie he loves staring at you, it makes him special.
Oh but just because your dating and he loves you doesn't mean he's gonna stop being rude, he always will be rude but he goes 25% soft on you.
Your compliments and flirts will make him get flustered, to the point he might start shaking violently.
Also he will flirt with you aswell just to make you get flustered or embarrassed,
BONUS AND SPOILER ALERT!!!⚠
Remember about what I said that hank tried to kill Sanford and Deimos well, if you dated hank before destroying the project nexus.
Well Hank would still try to kill Sanford and Deimos, you however would be the one Hank will hesitate you kill...
Yandere behavior would've kicked in if he actually killed Sanford and Deimos
But we all or half of us know Hank lost the fight, so you would've try to revive his body or take him to 2bdamned,
you would not interact with him until you finally have the courage or hank would apologize to you by buying some hotdogs...
If hank won the fight, you be missing your legs as hank kill deimos and Sanford, after that hank give you one last soft bonk in the forehead before... finishing the mission... and yeah the end
" I'm sorry y/n.. but I can't have you stop me... " he said as he stares down at you, seeing your legs were cut off by his sword as you watch in horror, in pain...hurt.... he crouches down and leans his head, until both his and your foreheads touched as you close your eyes slowly and... fall alseep... forever
Its is all I could imagine hank also I'm working on the main 4 yandere request but my part-time job took away all my days off but I'm close to finishing it...
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Hank with nine feet tall!reader but reader is actually the new sun, and they have a smiley face like: =) but reader just chills around and eats hotdogs
Plot twist: hank accidentally created them when they killed the actual sun
Energy simply is. It cannot be destroyed. It cannot be created. It always is, and always will be. With the death of the Sun, her energy shot out into the sky, seeking out the most viable host in the area. It found a strong grunt, one with grit and will, a power to persevere even in the hardest of times.
A body capable of withstanding power, one of kind and sound mind, reasonable and in need of light. Pain struck your spine between your shoulder blades, splitting down your back and rushing into your bones. Heat followed, sunspots burning into your skin from the inside.
Light filled your eyes, bright beams extending to the sky, a calling to return to where it belongs, up above in the heavens, silent observer of the peaceful world below. The pain faded slowly, your new shifted form complete.
A crown of light floated around your head, warm toned silks enrobed your body, and intricate little sun patterns covered parts of your skin. Your slender fingers touched the silk, much softer than the cotton smock you'd been wearing mere moments ago, an- when did the ground get so far away?!
You caught your reflection in a window, a gasp escaping your lips. "W-what is this?" Warmth filled your being, emanating from your sternum, the heat rolling off you and warming the air around you. Bright, warm, tall. A freaky change, a far cry from the normalcy you'd lived until now. And yet....
You couldn't help but smile. Joy flooded your system, energy and love flooding from your being, the urge to twirl in your new robes was irritable, and you did, feeling the fabric moving with you.
Yet with all this energy burning from you, it left a deep void in your guts, an insatiable hunger taking over, mouth salivating at the mere thought of something tasty on your tongue.
A grunt with a hotdog cart was walking past, and you waved to him in excitement. "Helloooo~" You skipped over and beamed down at him. "May I have... Hmmm... Many hotdogs?" You couldn't pick a number, just intent on eating until you could feel full and ready to burn brighter.
He craned his neck to look at you. "You're a tall one, aren't you? Now how many hotdogs do you actually want? I need a number buddy."
You picked your wallet from your pocket, and you placed it down on the side. "As many as the money in there can buy!" He shrugged, and opened your wallet, taking your cash before starting to prepare your feast of pulverised meat. An important question left his lips.
"Mustard, or ketchup?"
After an intense brawl and interrogation, Hank had made progress on his journey to hunting down and executing the Sheriff. It'd be a cold day in hell before he forgave that bastard for eating his pie.
They paused when they noticed a familiar giant in the street, one he was absolutely positive he'd killed not an hour ago. "What. The. Fuck." You turned to look at him, half a hotdog in hand.
"Hiiiii! You want a hotdog too?" You held out the untouched one in your other hand, and Hank looked beyond livid.
"How the hell are you alive? I just killed you!" They patted their body, realising they were out of weapons. Fists would have to do, he's done it before, he can again.
"Huuuh? I don't know what you mean. I've never seen you before in my life. I think I'd remember. I'd definitely remember dying." You took another big bite, waving the hotdog at him. "Offers still open!"
He gritted his teeth, stomping over. "What are you playing at? What kind of game is this?"
"I don't follow. One moment I was walking along, the next I was bursting with joy and feeling so light! It's like I'm a whole different person! Well, I mean I guess I am. I didn't look like this earlier." You gnawed on your hotdog in thought.
"You're... not the sun that crawled down from the sky?" They questioned, incredibly cautious.
You shook your head with a smile. "Don't be silly! The sun is right th-" Where the fuck was the sun? "Uh.." Realisation started to dawn on you, perhaps.. it could be true? It would explain your sudden attitude shift, and physical shift, and the urge to just float into the sky.
"... Maybe I am the sun?" Your smile vanished for a moment, before it came back. "But isn't that wonderful? I can brighten up the world now. I think that's something powerful."
You sat on the curb, and Hank eventually sat with you. "At least you're not trying to kill me." They grumbled, a sour look on their face. "Feels like everything is against me right now, just 'cause one guy screwed me over." Their stomach growled. "....Is the offer for that hotdog still open?"
A giggle left your lips, and you handed them the ketchup slathered dog. "Eat up, I'm sure bright things will be coming your way. After all, when you hit low, the only way you can go is up, right?"
He swallowed his mouthful and sighed. "I sure hope so."
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multi-fandomsfreak · 2 months
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Hmm reader whose a cook making food for the main 4 dissenters (Hank, Deimos, Sanford, and 2B)? Maybe make them dessert as well?
Cooking For The Main 4
Hey there! Thanks for the ask!
This is actually kind of cute. Although I’m not that much of a cook myself, when I do I often do it with my grandparents when I visit them. Mostly desserts as well. Anyways hope you like this. This may be shorter than what I usually write but there was more characters to write so that may be why. ~ J/Blaze
Pronouns: Not Mentioned
Warning: ⚠️Starvation (Accidentally)⚠️
Requested: Yes/No
Characters: Main 4 (Hank + Sanford + Deimos + 2B)
Proofread: ❌
Credits: Art by bismaydraws on Newgrounds + Banner by saturnap on Pinterest
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Hank. J Wimbleton:
- Honestly, when you first started cooking for him he was a little shocked. They knew that you like to cook and although they haven’t directly said this to you he thinks you're really good at it but when you decide to cook him something for him he wasn’t sure how to feel. He was thankful of course but that’s all they knew how they felt. So they thanked you and started to eat it not knowing what to do and to say his body started to figuratively melt was an understatement, your food tasted really good. He’s surprised at how good you can make food seem and taste.
- After that he in his own way likes to ask you to make certain foods that he likes to which you accept without any hesitation because you liked cooking especially for a friend. They really like discreetly looking at you cooking, the dedication on your face to make sure everything was perfect for them. He couldn't help but feel happy that you willingly want to do this for him.
- I personally like to believe that Hank is more of a savoury person rather than a sweets person but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy them. He occasionally likes having desserts when he thinks he needs them. This definitely increased when they discovered your cooking.
- When they figure out that you baked something sweet he immediately asks permission from you to have some. Sometimes he just straight up just takes some without asking to which you actually find funny the known murder of Nevada secretly taking your sweets thinking you won’t notice but you do you just don’t tell him anything.
- When he has a metal jaw he has trouble with certain food due to it which upsets him internally because he thinks that they can’t have your food but luckily for them you're able to find and cook both savoury and sweet so he could have them. This just makes him appreciate you even more.
Sanford:
- When he sees you cooking he immediately starts asking a bunch of questions. Like when did you learn to cook? What do you like to cook? What’s the hardest thing you cooked? Etc. He’s just so interested in you and your skills he couldn’t help but ask.
- He definitely asks you to cook some of his favourite foods, specifically ones from when his mother used to cook (he’s defo a mama’s boy sue me). He feels at home when you cook his favourites. He can’t help but see a bit of his mother in you every time you do this, it makes him go soft on you. Smiling like a little child around you.
- He definitely prefers sweets over savoury. He has a major sweet tooth but doesn’t outright admit it but it’s pretty obvious that he does even if he denies it. He thinks that he needs to be seen as tough so he doesn’t say that he prefers sweets. But at home he constantly asks you to make him some.
- He prefers cakes over other pieces of sweets. He doesn’t really care what type as long as it’s cake he’ll immediately eat it. Just like Hank he likes to sneak some when he thinks no one will notice but unlike Hank he’s not as secretive as him.
Deimos:
- He’s in immediate awe when he discovered that you can cook. He jokingly refers to you as some lover's nickname. He finds it really cute that you can cook. I personally like to think that he likes it when someone he likes/appreciates can cook. He doesn’t know why he just does.
- Sometimes he likes to join in your cooking but it doesn’t really go well for him so with a pout on his face he results in just watching you do it which equally makes him happy. He sometimes likes to but in about what to add despite you being more of the expert cook
- I like to think he’s the same as Sanford. Prefers sweets over savoury but he’s more open about it. He has no shame in enjoying sweets especially if it’s coming from you. If people see something wrong with it then he’ll tell them off for it. It’s just food to him so he doesn’t care about what it is.
- Just like Sanford, Deimos really likes cakes but occasionally when he is feeling it he may have cookies instead. Whatever he is feeling like. He doesn’t even try to hide stealing it, not that he would be good at it. He just straight up goes to the kitchen, grabs the food and leaves. Not even acknowledging anyone.
2BDamned:
- 2BDamned already knew you could cook just like Hank and like Hank he was a little surprised when you cooked for him. Not that he doesn’t like it, he really appreciates it. It just catches him off guard. He sees you as some positive figure when you do this for him. He looks forward to seeing what you have cooked for him.
- I bet that he sometimes gets too infested in his work and often forgets to eat. He doesn’t mean to do this but sometimes he can’t help it. He needs to get the job done so he does it. This often means that you will have to bring him the food when he is busy with the work. Which makes him appreciate you even more. You must really care about him to do this.
- I personally think that he doesn’t really have a set on liking savoury food over sweets. He likes both the same so he doesn’t really have a preference for either one. Your food, regardless of what food it is, tastes really good to him.
- He doesn’t like to ask or sneak to get the food unlike the other 3. Mostly because he is too invested in his work or because he doesn’t want to bother you. If he’s desperate for your food then he’ll ask to which you happily make/give it to him.
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dallyfae · 2 years
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hank has a favourite grunt (thats you-)
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cerise-on-top · 1 month
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Hank with an Eldritch Horror Reader
Here's another thing I wrote two years back! It was an interesting concept which I really liked, so I actually really enjoyed writing this request!
Hank J Wimbleton was a grunt of many things, but not one to be scared unless he had a good reason to be. There were many things in this world he did not understand, you were one of them. Upon meeting you, his first instinct would have been to either fight or run away - who could blame him, it was all he knew. No matter how many times you reassured him that the very last thing you wanted to do was to harm him, he’d draw his weapon, uncertain of whether or not he should believe your words.
Once you show no resistance towards him whatsoever and simply restrain him using your powers or other methods, that’s when, thrashing around as much as he could, he would start listening. You may or may not have seen a grunt up close, but this was your chance to finally examine one. As you scrutinise him from every possible angle Hank realises that you were simply curious about his being and finally lowers weapon.
Your voice would likely hurt his head and freeze the blood in his veins, so you might have to resort to telepathy or speak through a marionette, if you can find one. Though, once Hank’s interest in you has been piqued, he’d be more than happy to find you one. A lot of people in Nevada seem to be redundant in the first place. Regarding telepathy: You will be able to have a two-way conversation with Hank like that, but, for the most part, he doesn’t think in words. Still, he can do so, if needed.
If you’re on the rather small side, he will make an effort to pick you up, or hold you, and bring you back to base. Depending on whether you can float or not, this might be rather difficult, but he’ll try. If you’re large, however, then he will simply “tell” you to follow him. As an eldritch being you could likely either change your form or scare away anyone in your path in the first place, so he doesn’t particularly worry about anyone being stupid enough to attack you.
Spend time with him, he’ll get used to you more and more and, eventually, grow a bond with you. Proud, he’ll show you to Doc so he can figure out what you are, but do not be fooled. Hank wants to know what you are to some degree too. Once comfortable with you and certain you won’t harm him, he’ll start observing you, touching you to some degree. See how you react, how you feel, how you are.
Despite your conversations being, for the most part, one-sided, Hank will ask you directly what you are and if you’re some form of eldritch deity. Since you’re an amicable creature he can’t exactly wrap his head around, it’s worth a try.
Although he would like to do so to some degree, he won’t take you with him on missions. It’s his way of saying “I care a great deal about you, I don’t want you to die or worse even if you are capable of defending yourself.” If you really insist on aiding him, he will let you, begrudgingly. But beware that he will have your back. In fact, having you around will give him a greater reason to fight and improve his overall performance. Though, it will also be a major stress factor to him if something were to happen to you, so choose wisely.
#madness combat#madness combat x reader#hank j wimbleton#hank j wimbleton x reader#I've been into eldritch horrors and stuff ever since I was a teenager#although I don't condone his beliefs in the slightest I really like Lovecraft's writing style#at one point it influenced how I wrote as well since he was rather descriptive in a pleasant to read way#I have an anthology at home that I might wanna reread again at some point#celephais was always my favorite story and I think it may be one of my favorite stories of all time#I know it interests no one but my favorite book is No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai#and yes I did get into classic literature because of a certain anime I don't wanna tag in this post#but another book I really enjoyed reading was Clockwork Orange I read it with someone I used to be close to and it was a really good read#it gave me nightmares but I really enjoyed it! gave me something to talk about with my father as well#Hier kommt Alex by Die Toten Hosen is also a really good song! as is 1000 Gründe by the same band!#those songs are based on Clockwork Orange actually!#I never watched the movie and I don't think I ever will because eye gore disturbs me but the book was good! I read it bc of tboi!#I have quite a few classic at home! but I think I wanna finish reading Paradise Lost! That's also a really interesting story so far!#reading and writing are some of my favorite hobbies!#I'd also love to finishe the price of salt at some point as well! Because I have to all things considered!#I just wish I could juggle all of my hobbies a bit better! I wish I had a bit more time for everything! but oh well it be like that!
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goosedoes-fics · 5 months
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Madness Headcanons
Madcom x Reader
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Content Warnings: I talk about tits a lot sorry. Also mentions of organ failure and transfem Tricky
Notes: Trying to get back into the writing groove. Sorry if this is shit
HANK J WIMBLETON
If you didn't know ASL before meeting them, they would communicate primarily with hand and head movements. He's too cool to use a notepad
Not a big fan of PDA, but in private he's quite affectionate and cuddly. theyre just a big ass guard dog cmon
Hank Motherfucker Wimbleton what are you doing here????? waiting for them to play gangnam styl.
DEIMOS
Transgenda
I like to imagine Dedmos's rock face works similarly to Hank's metal jaw. It's just a rock jaw. Rock lobster.
He is an ASSHOLE (affectionate)
The kind of person to like. Punch your shoulder when they laugh
Their ideal first date is stealing the declaration of independence
If you don't make him, he will go days without showering he is SO smelly anfd SO stinky. He has GREASY ASS HAIR i just know it
SANFORD
If Hank is a guard dog he's one of those goofy dogs that look like bear cubs
VERY big fan of PDA he will smooch you anywhere. everywhere. any time any place any day
He takes missions more seriously than Deimos but outside of missions he is just a big fat goofball
I'm going to place my hands directly on his man tits. anyways where was I
He lost his nipples in The War
I'm kidding. He lost them during top surgery.
At this point i'm aiming the transgenderification beam at all of them. nobody is safe. BE TRANSGENDER
DOC
Sometimes he wears his hair down and it's like a mullet w/ shaved sides
Out of all of them he's the most adverse to PDA but! In private he is very sweet. very silly
Hey are you okay with being tested on? Yeah? Cool will you drink this organ failure potion I brewed
Plays the piano sometimes! He might serenade you if you ask nicely
TRICKY
BE TRANSGENDER. (shoots her with my transfem beam)
Yeah so he/she bigender Tricky is real. Krinkels told me himself
He is like a big weird dog as well. He might lick your face (don't let him zed spit is slightly acidic)
Probably likes PDA the most. She will make out with you very grossly and sloppily in the middle of McDonalds
Very soft very fluffy. Which is surprising considering how many times he's died
His tail is somewhat prehensile, he could dangle from a tree branch if he tried hard enough
CHURCH AND JORGE
They are very good at sharing!
Sorry not sorry yandere enjoyers but they would NOT kill someone for looking at you they would be like haha yeah everyone should look at our awesome fucking partner theyre so cool and hot
Sometimes they forget how big they are compared to you so they might try to like flop over on you. Pigpile on the small one
Very prone to roughhousing and play fighting but they'll be gentle if you ask
BEEFY BOYS 😍
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idyat · 6 months
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Didn't post this one to Tumblr. Requested on Wattpad
Them (Hank x Flirty Reader)
Warning: Mild description of gore
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Another day, another massacre. Hank walked out of the building, covered in blood, guts, and maybe one or two bullets lodged in his head. He called H.Q to go pick him up, and waited...
...This gave him time to think a little. Think about the people he killed, new more interesting ways to kill others, his pathetic existence in this infinite universe, that funny cat meme he saw once...
It gave him time to think about his coworkers...
Oh, his coworkers...What fellows they were.
There was Deimos, who he didn't like, Sanford was okay, he had been roommates with 2BDamned for years. He knew all his deepest, darkest secrets at this point.
And then...the last one.
This one was even more interesting than the others. Simply because of the fact that, when other people saw Hank, their first reaction was usually either fear, annoyance, or just nothing really. And yet this person, this one person, thought it would be a good idea to actually try and flirt with what is basically the world's number 1 criminal.
And you would likely think that the killing machine would immediately brutalize anyone that would dare even think of talking to them like that out of existence.
But he didn't.
In fact, a part of them kind of enjoyed the attention actually.
It's not like he wasn't extremely confused and maybe even a little aggressive when it first started, but...it was the first time someone had treated him like that. They always were a loner, rejected by some of his peers at times, and after the boombox park massacre? Oh boy, almost everyone he met after that were either terrified of him, trying to kill him, or both.
So to be treated with such...kindness? Was that the word? It was quite refreshing, to be honest.
He wasn't really shocked when that flirty coworker was in the back of the car that arrived to pick them up, with Deimos in the driver seat.
"Hey Hank!"
Hank replied with a simple wave when he sat next to them. Their eyes suddenly got wide as they looked at him a little closer.
"Holy shit is that a bullet in your head?"
He prodded the wound a little before nodding and speaking out.
"Probably. Pass me some tissues, I'll deal with it."
Contrary to his demand, they started digging for the emergency med kit they always kept in those cars.
"Nope. You're not going around with a goddamn bullet in your pretty face without anyone fixing you up."
Hank stared at them with possibly one of the most judgemental looks he had ever given someone.
"Pretty? Really?"
Despite the sarcastic tone in his voice, they smiled as they got to work on healing that nasty hole in his head, along with the other gashes and burns on the rest of their arms and upper chest area.
"Yup! Pretty."
"Daaamn, you really got some shitty taste there buddy!"
Oh, there was Deimos, making the two others almost jump when reminding them of his existence.
"Oh shut it Deimos, you like Mania."
"Hey! That is Fall Out Boy's best album and you can't concince me otherwise!"
As they continued their playful banter , Hank couldn't help but stare at the person next to him. Was the flirting getting to him? Did they actually manage to do something to him? Did the bullet mess with his brain or something?
For some reason, he just couldn't stop looking at that smile. Replaying that laugh in his head over and over again. Paying so much attention to the way they were placing their hands around his shoulders to wrap bandages around them, rubbing his hands when dissinfecting the cuts...
Why the fuck was he feeling like this all of a sudden?
He thought. Thought of all the times his heart clenched a little bit when they gave him a compliment. Of the times he'd feel embarrassed when they called him a petname in public.
He never asked any questions about it, but right now...
"Hey Hank, are you okay? You're breathing pretty heavily."
He turned his head up when they spoke up, now looking at him with a worried face as they rubbed his freshly bandaged hands. It didn't take long for him to look away though, avoiding showing his face.
When he did that, their expression got even more concerned for a second before widening their eyes when they seemed to have realised something, which finally led to the formation of a cheeky smug smile on their face.
"Ooooh, did I fluster you?"
"No."
They snickered. God that laugh had something special about it.
"Of course, if you say so."
The car brutally stopped all of a sudden, almost making everyone in it fall over if they weren't wearing seatbelts.
"A'right lovebirds, you can do your romantic shit alone now!"
Hank wipped his head around when Deimos said lovebirds. It was so fast and violent they heard an actual crack. Kinda reminds you of how scary the big guy can be, and the death glare didn't quite help.
"Shut."
"Ow! Okay, I was just joking man, it's all in good fun! Yeesh."
As Deimos left, lighting a cigarette with his thumb, and the two others were getting out of the car, Hank's previously flirty teammate spoke with a twinge of what seemed like guilt in their voice.
"Hey...uh...sorry about that."
He turned to them, stopping in his tracks.
"...Why?"
"Oh, well, you seemed pretty mad when Deimos talked about...romance I guess. Like calling us lovebirds and all. I thought I should apologize for...flirting with you that way, you know?"
He suddenly got in face to face with them, looming over with a dark look on his covered face.
"No."
"...Huh...?"
"You're good."
"...I am?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Hank stepped away after they got the hint, and that damned smile that made his insides feel all fuzzy in a way that wasn't from dying and getting ressucitated over and over again came back as they walked along side him to get back to their respective rooms.
"Does that mean you just don't mind or...do you enjoy it?"
"...I don't know what you're talking about."
They laughed.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about Hanky."
His hand came up to cover his face when they said that. He was usually pretty pale, but they swore they saw a hint of red between his mask and his goggles. Although that could very possibly have been a scar or something.
"...Show me a good velma episode and maybe I'll consider telling you."
They laughed even more after that. He didn't quite know how to make a joke without being akward right now, but just the fact that he wanted to try made them understand just how much he prefered them over most people.
"Alright alright then. I'll keep shut."
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gdbemyfd · 6 months
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I was bored and wanted to pet Hank
Мне стало скучно и я захотел погладить Хэнка.
:D
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redamoureux · 11 months
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:00 if you could, maybe a yandere! hank x s/o who used to be an A.A.H.W agent? when they meet again, instead of s/o trying to kill them like they’re always have, reluctantly - they just flee?
─ Bad Blood
Yandere Hank J. Wimbleton Headcanons/short
↳ content warning: yandere themes, obsessive behaviour, stalking, shooting, violence, mild blood, murder, forced/dubious relationship, intimidation, hank's oddly kind of a soft yandere here
• genre: romantic
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Working in an agency that's literally built to merely hunt one specific criminal is never an easy job. But with little place to work and protection around, you were obliged to accept the policy or you wouldn't get to see another day.
Auditor, the leader of the faction can be described as rather a cruel and vicious boss. Even though you've never met him directly, just by hearing whispers and tittle-tattle around the place never fails to make you falter.
So it doesn't suprises you when news about a massacre occured in one of the many base around the city reached auditor, he simply told his henchman to call up the janitors and clone even more grunts.
You were annoyed by this behaviour of him. Not only did he let his employees work in such poor condition, he also can't respect the values of lives. You thought the idea of this whole ordeal is just pure stupid. And most of the remaining mortal grunts like you also agreed, but your resentments are clearly silent, for the most part.
And the last but not least of your problems, Hank J. Wimbleton. Pratically being the root of the apocalypse happening nevada, he brings troubles or death for basically anyone he comes across. Heck, you were suprised that this man manage to even have a team in the first place.
One day, you were casually just sitting at the passenger seat of the agency's truck delivering supplies to another base that supposedly located not far away.
And the next thing you knew, another smaller vehicle drove right next to you, a hook suddenly emerges from the back of it and flew up above the truck's roof. While you and the driver were momentarily distracted by it, a bullet hits the window and shot the driver. Your startled state turned into panic and you immediately jumped out of your sitting position to grab the steering wheel, trying to control the truck while your leg tries to hit the brake.
Then something hits you on the head, knocking you out thus losing control over the truck and making screeching sound before crashing, almost rolling it over.
While you lay unconsciously on top of the driver's body, the smaller car's wheels halts just feets away from ths truck and two men comes out. The black figure near the broken window stares intensively at the two body before a voice behind him called.
Gaining your concious back by the throbbing pain in your head, you groan lightly before you took a glimpse at your surroundings and heard distant talking just outside the truck. Keeping yourself to shut up from the pain, you took the weapons stocked up under the seats and loaded it. Bracing yourself, you pushed the door open, getting the attentions of the men before you emerged and shot all around them immediately.
Fortunately, you were succesfully able to shot one of the guys and distracting the other, leaving only one familiar face to fight. Hank J. You gulp, wishing you really don't have to deal with him─ but you know your chances. And you're not dying without a fight atleast.
You kept on shooting, but he was be able to miss most of it and so you quickly changed guns when it ran out of bullets, before jumping out and running behind the truck. He followed closely and looked behind the truck, ready to kill, to find noone. A sound of car engine starting up makes his head perk up and he turns around to find the team's car moving forward at him at a fast speed, to which he quickly dodges. You kept speeding up until eventually they goes out of view.
With your heart pumping fast with adrenaline, you looked the rear mirror, seeing your ruined and blood stained form, you took deep breaths and have set one final plan in your mind.
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Walking in the empty street, your footsteps clicks against the rocky road as you tinkered around with a broken tablet in your hand in attempt to turn it on. You bit the insides of your cheek as you remixed the wires again and pressed the power button.
Your attempt were proven fruitful when the tablet made a startup sound and the logo flashes up. You smiled at your succesful try as you happily looked at the screen. Suddenly you heard a short scream coming from an alley nearby which you stopped on your tracks.
You looked around to see where the sound may have came from─ when another long scream was heard once again, and this time you were be able to sense that it was coming from one of the alleys behind you. You ran towards the source of sound as a sound of bone cracking and a scream was suddenly heard again which made you hold your breath and lean against one of the closed stores.
You exhale and turn to take a peak, your eyes widen in horror as you gaze landed at the dead bodies on the ground, blood splattered almost everywhere as you saw a strong arm dropping down an ripped off arm. You mind screamed at you to run, and you were about to do so, when you heard pained whimpers. Squinting your eyes slightly, you saw a horribly injured grunt flump on the ground, staring at the tall shadow before them in terror and fear of their life.
You felt a sudden urge to save the grunt as you took out a syringe filled with some muscle relaxant drug and stared at it. You knew this has the high chance of possibly risking your life instead, but you're willing to try. Without a second thought you closed your eyes and sneaked up towards the man quick enough before he finishes off the grunt.
You stabbed the taller grunt with the syringe in the shoulder which made them to turn around and you punched him in the face. He let out a slight groan and buried his eyes in his hands to recover for a moment. You took this chance and helped the stunned grunt to get back up. As you're doing just that, you saw the taller grunt getting back his senses, so you whispered to the grunt you've helped "go!" With no hesitation, they nodded and ran.
Your relief was short-lived before you feel yourself being grabbed by the throat and thrown back harshly into the wall of the dark alley.
Groaning, you slump down the wall, feeling immense pain through your whole body from the impact. You merely looked up fearfully as the shadowy grunt slowly approaches you with shining, cracking red goggles. You swallow the knot in your throat and closed your eyes, preparing for the worst.
But nothing came.
Confused, you looked up and was taken aback with the grunt staring deeply into you, leaning in much closer than before. "Uh.." then all of a sudden, he pulled you up and carried you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. You immediately tried to retaliate, kicking your boots and yelling but it was hopeless.
Eventually you gave up, feeling annoyed. You weren't even sure what or where he's planning to do or go, yet you were too tired to think so you eventually slept. Then you were rudely woken up when you were plopped down a hard chair.
You shook your head a little before the view of your surroundings fully came in. A few grunts walks around in what seems like a factory some sort doing their works and a grunt wearing sensor goggles and mask. He's looking at his computer sits infront of you before glancing up at you. "So this is the one that you wanted to recruit?" He questions, you turned to your side to see the grunt from before nodding. Now that you were able to see his full form, now did you realize that it was Hank. Being next to him, you began to sweat.
"Welcome in the team then."
─────
Well, getting recruited and a decent payment with the unexpected help of a criminal certainly is not an everyday thing.
Your now employer, 2BDamned, or doc for short, saw your repaired tablet in your bag and asked if you were able to demonstrate more of your skill. You did. You fixed some machine there that broke down. Which was also the reason how you're landed a job as an engineer in the team.
It was fairly.. normal you could say. The other grunts there were pretty nice to talk to, some would be fearful when seeing you though, and you weren't really sure why. The work condition is definitely better than what in AAHW provided. One small problem though. Hank.
I mean sure, it's expected, hank is hank, doing hank things. But something is just off about how he behaved around you. He would just stand next to you, saying nothing while watching you do work. One time you were rushing to go down the stairs to meet doc but you slipped and fell down. You heard heavy boots approaching fastly and within seconds hank was by your side, offering a hand to you. You took his hand and stood up with a little struggle before thanking him and tried to let go of your hand but he wouldn't budge. So the entire meeting with doc was tad awkward with him just holding your hand.
He also likes to appear out of nowhere. You were just casually shopping at the remaining stable grocery shop in the city when suddenly there was a shadow cast over you and the cashier trembling and sweating looking up behind you. Which would result you to sigh, knowing that it's him.
You weren't sure how to respond to any of this behaviour of his, so you kind of just let it happen. Sometimes he can be pretty creepy sure yet, you're just grateful that he's not suffocating you to death and letting you live a fairly normal life. So the least you could do is tolerate his behaviour. Hoping that it just wouldn't go worse.
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REBLOGS AND FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!
@redamoureux
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slimmestslime · 5 months
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smol + bonus i forgot to post
4th one i mainly drew cause of this song
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lilkasr · 1 year
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Hank: what are you doing?
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