Why yes, Happy International Asexuality Day, my fellow Aros, Aces, Aro-Aces, and everyone else on the Ace Spec!
Thought I'd let y'all know I am planning on drawing something for IAD but it's currently late and I'm exhausted from having spent the evening shopping with my family, (it was fun and I got some new shirts that make me look like a cool fun uncle heheh) and am still struggling with artist fatigue, but I'll try to post tomorrow! And yes, it will be mp100 related ofc! Because I mean, how can it not include Internet Sex Symbol and Ace Icon, Reigen Arataka?
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transcription:
"i put the 'ace' in disgrace"
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Rambling about some explicit NSFW stuff. I'll make a short disclaimer about it, since I normally don't do this.
So, this post is dealing with me, my asexuality, my views on sex and some more explicit stuff.
So this is a bit weird. I am definitely aroace, no questions there. I'm not sure if I'm maybe demisexual, but at least right now, I'm at most indifferent, if not slightly repulsed.
And yet, sometimes I see posts about writing prompts or some queer space post about someone getting their literal brains fucked out of them and I'm just like:
Damn. I'd like someone to fuck my brains out. But not in a sexual way. I'd like to be ravaged and reduced to an inarticulate mess. But without someone being sexually intimate with me.
I don't want to have sex, but I want to be a stuttering, mumbling mess out of appreciation.
And yet, the idea of sex makes me physically react. I get in a bad mood, my brain is initiating disgust and I can't stand someone touching me then.
I crave the intimacy of sex without the sex.
And sometimes it drives me crazy. Those are the days I can't really deal with my asexuality. The days I see it as something wrong in my life, something missing. Where I want to be sexual with someone, even though I know it's going to make me hate myself and will be detrimental to my mental health.
And I know I'm not missing anything. 99.9% I'm fine, happy even.
But then I read about someone being loved senseless and just feel like I'm missing out.
Yeah, that's mostly it. But I needed to get it out and what better way than screaming it to (mostly only) strangers on this platform.
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being aroace and trans is weird bc i cant explain how many times i thought i had a crush but rlly it was gender envy
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