Haruka Nanase, a list of his character songs to listen to on his birthday 💙🐟🌟🌊
I love Free!'s character songs so freaking much, and I couldn't let this day go by without sharing Haruka's songs (not counting duets and STYLE FIVE's songs)
Ao No Kanata :
🎶I know a place I can call my own
No one’s voice can reach me here, wo-oh
It’s something much more precious than victory or defeat
This scenery that always occupies my thoughts
The blue yonder forever etched into my memory🎶
JOY :
🎶I feel so free and joyful in the blue water
I will always be fine here, if nowhere else
I feel so free and joyful in the blue water
Here, I have the answers🎶
Deep Moment :
🎶In this moment, let’s be freer, until the moment when we’ll set off
If we go with all our might, we can go anywhere
That day, my friends helped me see the scenery of a new start
And the joy waiting ahead🎶
Navy Tomorrow
🎶Don’t follow someone else’s dream, but the dream you want to see come true
Don’t take standstill as freedom but find the freedom in moving forward
You’ll surely start aiming for a farther place
Than anything you ever imagined🎶
Mirai e
🎶I definitely understand that beyond the radiance of the vibrant Future Vision
Is a place that I cannot return from
The streamline continues towards resolve,
And with a sure passion I’ve now dived into the world that I watch intently🎶
Im Free
🎶So Free!
My heart is filled with blue, rippling and sparkling
So Free!
I'll keep heading to the other side of that dream, always as myself, without wavering
Kicking at the pleasant blue
As I stroke through the waves of harmony,
I'm Free 🎶
[translation by @kudouusagi ]
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Heyy can i request a sanzu x reader who doesn’t like their bday fluff where they sit on the balcony and smoke together in the middle of the night sorry if this is like rly specific😭
Perfect- honestly perfect. We love soft Sanzu here.
ANYWAYS IM BACK BITCHES!!!
Slamming the door behind him, tears streaking his face as he fumed. It was his birthday. The worst birthday he had ever had. To start off he still had work, unable to take leave due to the works urgency. The constant nagging and scolding of Takeomi along with his mother's... Lack of input was enough to tip him over the boiling point.
He threw his bag to the side and his phone across the room, it's constant buzzing irritating him more and more. "'Happy birthday' my ass. Nothing 'happy' about it." He grumbled, sniffling a little. Being apart of Bonten was nothing short of horrible, the only manageable thing there was his boyfriend, Sanzu Haruchiyo. Even then, Sanzu's drug addiction was hard to deal with, it was almost weekly he would come home to Sanzu half dead on the floor from overdosing on something.
"Baby? You alright?" Sanzu called out from somewhere deeper in the apartment. (Name) choked on a sob, wiping his face as he wobbled through the living room and into the kitchen. He splashed a handful of water on his face, cleaning off the tears only for more to come.
Sanzu took note of the bag and shattered phone. Who pissed him off? Shit isn't it his birthday? Is he mad at me for forgetting? Sanzu shivered at the thought of (Name) being that pissed at him. Sanzo approached his boyfriend carefully, watching as he smacked himself muttering nonsense. "(Name)... Baby what's wrong?" The younger jumped a little, spinning around to see his pink haired boyfriend.
Sanzu's hair was sticking every which-a-way, and his eyes were tired - like he had just woken up. He hummed a little before stepping closer, gently taking his boyfriend's hand into his. "Haru..." Sanzu hummed, tilting his head to the side. He was unusually docile, like a sleepy puppy. (Name) let out a tired sigh, hugging his boyfriend tightly. The drug addict tensed a little before reciprocating, gently running his fingers through the other's slightly dirty hair.
"Bad birthday?" Sanzu whispered. (Name) nodded, taking a deep uneven breath. He sighed, enjoying the scent of cologne, smoke, and detergent. Sanzu hummed quietly, blinking away his grogginess. "Come on... Let's go baby."
"What?" (Name) mumbled, glancing up at his boyfriend earning a soft, lazy smile. He didn't respond, silently guiding his boyfriend out to the balcony. (Name) gave him a confused look until he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
"Take your mind off it?" He asked, taking one out and offering it to the (h/c) haired man. (Name) gave him a loving smile, laughing a little as he accepts the cancer stick. Sanzu took his own and quickly lit it, turning to (Name) and pressing the burning tobacco against his unlit cigarette. Sanzu puffed out a bit of smoke as he pulled away, smiling at his lover who took a long drag.
They gazed down at the city, observing the blue, pink, and red lights. It was therapeutic... Watching the nights bustling activity from above. Seeing the night so alive with life, it felt fictional. Unreal. It was almost like a fever dream. "This is nice..."
"Yeah... It is." The pink haired man smiled mindlessly, taking another slow an sling drag of his cigarette and blowing it out slowly through his nose. The nicotine clouded the two's brains with a thin layer of fog, making them feel relaxed. (Name) sighed, smoke drifting from his lips as he rested his head on Sanzu's shoulder. He lazily intertwined their fingers, pressing his face into Sanzu's soft hoodie's fabric.
"I love moments like this... It's calming." (Name) mumbled, flicking some ash from his cigarette. Sanzu hummed absentmindedly in response, gazing up at the nights sky. It being Tokyo, almost none of the stars were visible, other than the north star which shown brightly compared to the opaque specks of white around it. The moon was golden in colour and thin streaky clouds glowing orange framed the skyline nicely.
"Oh! I also forgot, I got you something." Sanzu mumbled, taking one last puff of his cigarette before sniffing it out on the railing and running off inside. (Name) glanced back at the door curiously, finishing off his cigarette before following. He found Sanzu in their room, digging through the closet grumbling quiet curses as he searched.
Eventually, after almost half an hour of him searching through the house, he found the gift. It was a little stuffed (fav/animal) that he got (Name) for his last birthday, in the span of a year and an argument the little critter got ripped - and that's when (Name) noticed the little bruised pin pricks and tiny cuts all over Sandy's hands. (Name) smiled great fully, gently taking the little stuffed animal, noticing a tiny little stain near where the tear was.
"I felt bad..." Sandy mumbled, (name) laughed aloud and hugged his boyfriend.
"I love you, you idiot."
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Reborn Again (and again and again)
(Sanzu's bday fic with tones of angst)
(Bonten HaruMai)
It's been a while since I posted my fics here bc no spoons kept my away of tumblr ( I'm gonna try to post all of them and they are always on ao3!)
But.... Sanzu Haruchiyo birthday seems like the perfect occasion for this!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PINK GREMLIN, I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! (but I'm gonna give you angst and a lap full of Mikey, oopsie?)
(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)
Summary: Sanzu remembers his last birthday, bittersweet memories that keep his delusions afloat.
And of course, he'll never lose his faith in his king.
(even when Mikey's eyes are completely devoid of all emotion)
Warnings: Manga Spoilers (Bonten timeline, so yeah), Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Suicide, Mental Health Issues (issues is an understatement xD), Toxic Codependent Relationship, Heavily Depressed Mikey, Burn Out Sanzu, Unrequited Delusional Love, and idk, is Bonten they are so totally not fine and it shows, okay?
Yeah, this fic is an emotional roller coaster, it felt like it writing it and is not less of it as a reader (or I've been told that). Oh, Sanzu is sad and horny bc you can't tell me Bonten Mikey has energy to fuck (or live)
There is a part of the fic inspired on this art, bc Mikey sleeping on Haru's lap is for some reason precious to me 💜
Sanzu was bored, his feet kept tapping the ground, his mind drifting far away from here. He should be paying attention to his surroundings, guarding the building where his king was.
Instead, he was lost in the memories of his last birthday, almost one year ago. Wondering if it would be different this time, if Mikey remembered his promise. He shook his head, immediately feeling guilty for daring to doubt it. Of course he did, Sanzu was only feeling insecure, nothing new.
(He had to repeat it as many times as necessary, to convince himself that Mikey’s eyes had not been completely devoid of all emotion for more than a month)
To be fair, the fact that Hangaki didn’t represent any type of threat to his king, wasn’t helping him focus on the present or to keep his thoughts from wandering back to the previous year.
Sanzu was having a shitty day. That wasn’t exactly unusual lately, he had become more and more tired during the last years few months. Exhausted would be the right word, but he couldn’t afford to rest, to even entertain the possibility that he should delegate some of his responsibilities to others if he didn’t want to end up completely burned out. But of course, he couldn't trust anyone else to perform his duties, so Sanzu was forced to continue stretching himself thin.
(If he was more honest with himself, he could admit that he had been falling apart for way too long. But he wasn’t, he couldn’t)
Whatever. He was used to it. He’s handled this weariness before — today wasn’t unique. He was a grown ass man, who definitely wouldn’t throw a tantrum just because everyone forgot it was his birthday. And twenty-seven wasn’t a memorable number either, so who cared?
This was just Sanzu being salty, tonight's job took up more time than he anticipated, so he had to see Takeomi’s ugly face for way too long. Yeah, it was totally unrelated to the pang of jealousy he felt when he overheard the older man explaining to Kakucho how this week was special, since the anniversary of Senju’s death was close. He wasn’t that pathetic, to hold a grudge because, even now, his sister kept hogging all the attention.
(What sister? Sanzu was an only child, his own mind was playing tricks to him again)
He sighed, using his own set of keys to open the door of Mikey’s penthouse and trying to be as silent as possible. He was fully aware his king wouldn’t be sleeping — it was getting harder each day to convince him to even try it.
It was better to be quiet anyway, at least, until he had a clue of which mood he was going to find. Would it be one of those days of empty glares and cold words, where he was only ‘Sanzu’? Or…
“Haruchiyo?”
A weak whisper, but more than enough for him to quickly locate the source. Mikey was sitting on the sofa, completely in the dark except for the dim light that came through the window, proving the outside world was still there, uncaring and merciless.
“Hey… I’m back.”
His heart sank when he got closer, finally noticing Mikey’s puffy eyes and his tear-streaked cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to comfort him, caress his beautiful face and erase any trace of pain in it. But he knew better. Years of walking on broken glass around his lover taught him better.
(Was ‘lover’ the right word? When he had to repress his own feelings, pretending there was no love in order to stay by Mikey’s side? Probably not)
“What’s wrong?”
He asked cautiously, sitting on the nearest armchair. Mikey blinked a couple of times, looking at him in awe, almost like he was processing that Sanzu was really here.
“I thought you wouldn’t come tonight.”
There was no point in reminding him that he could just text or call —that no matter what he was doing, Sanzu would leave it in a heartbeat to run to his king's side. Mikey was fully aware of it, but he refused to show this type of weakness.
“I’ll always come back to you, Mikey.”
He gave him a soft smile, hoping it was somehow reassuring. It seemed to work, considering the next moment he had a lap full of Mikey, wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s neck and hiding his face in it. He didn’t have to think twice before hugging him back and gently pulling the thin body closer.
“I’m sorry, the deal took longer than I thought.”
A noncommittal hum was the only answer he received, another sign that Mikey cared less every day about his own organization. It was fine, Sanzu could keep the gears turning and perfectly greased, waiting until his king was ready to step back in the game and take what was rightfully his.
“But I’m here now, I’m right here…”
His voice dripped with affection, his touch conveying the same feeling as he started to play with the white locks. The soft caresses spoke louder than the words he’ll never say. It was fine — he was good at hiding parts of himself, burying it with all his secrets.
(So many secrets, weighing him more every day, slowly drowning him until he couldn’t recognize his own reflection)
“You are.” Mikey finally lifted his head, looking at him like he was trying to figure out something. “Even if this morning…”
“No idea what you’re talking about.”
It was a lie, they both knew it. Of course he remembered how detached his king had been, how disgusted he looked by his weak attempt at cuddling. The cold voice, clearly commanding him to disappear from his sight. ‘Don’t you have work to do, Sanzu?’
It was a lie, one of the many he carefully crafted for Mikey’s sake. There was no need to dwell on it when Sanzu wanted to comfort him, not burden him with guilt. Especially when the cause was his own inability to hide his stupid hopes and desires.
“Apparently about nothing.”
“Yep, nothing at all.” He repeated, softly brushing a strand of hair out of Mikey’s eyes and kissing his forehead, earning a simper in return.
Wait, what? A smile? A coy one, small and probably easy to miss for anyone else. But not for him, Sanzu was able to spot the most subtle change in his king’s expression, and this wasn’t subtle. A genuine smile on Mikey’s face? And thanks to him?
Sanzu’s inner turmoil disappeared. The fatigue that he constantly carried with him was gone too. Just like that, a simple gesture from his king, made everything better, all the problems more than worth it as long as it meant protecting these rare moments of happiness.
(A necessary reminder of why he kept fighting, always so restless, refusing to let go, reinventing himself over and over)
He leaned in to cross the small distance between their lips, kissing him slowly, wanting to savor the moment. There was no rush for once, and even if he longed for more, even if his body reacted to the closeness and the familiar taste, he knew too damn well Mikey’s libido had been practically nonexistent lately.
No matter how much he yearned to go further, he’d take whatever his king offered to him without presumptions. For now, Sanzu was content with the way Mikey’s lips parted, allowing his tongue to explore freely. He couldn’t stop himself from moaning inside the kiss, realizing he sounded too desperate.
Damn it, when was the last time they actually had sex? He couldn’t recall when it was, but he could clearly see the memories – the way Mikey whimpered in his ear, his body pressed against the shower wall…
Fuck, he had to calm down before his own neediness tarnished this moment doing something stupid — Like pressing Mikey’s warm body down onto his growing erection, bucking his hips slightly, rubbing himself just enough to feel the friction against that tight ass he adored so much… Stop it, brain!
“Sorry…”
Sanzu pulled away from the kiss with a flustered face, looking at Mikey with glossy eyes and pressing their foreheads together, still catching his breath.
“Why are you apologizing, Haruchiyo?” There was a sad undertone in his voice that didn't go unnoticed. “It’s me, I can’t even give you that, you should…”
“Don’t go there.” He gently placed a finger in front of the other’s lips. “I don’t need it, okay? I can live perfectly fine without fucking.”
“But you want it.” Mikey deadpanned.
“Of course I do, because you’re gorgeous and I can’t help feeling attracted to you.” He gave him a soft peck. “And that’s on me, you don’t owe me anything, alright? Having you in my arms like this is already the best birthday gift I could ever wish for.”
“What?!”
“Nothing.” It was too late — he knew as soon as he saw Mikey’s eyes widening in a mix of surprise and clarity.
“Fuck, it’s July… That’s not nothing!” He groaned in frustration. “Did you get to celebrate it at least?”
Judging by the way Mikey looked at him, the answer to this was probably written in his face. That was the exact reason why he didn’t tell him, to absolve him of the guilt, to prevent him from falling deeper into self-loathing.
“It’s okay, we can still celebrate it together if you want-”
“It's not even your birthday anymore.”
His rage was icy cold, Sanzu was sure the temperature of the whole room dropped a few degrees. Suddenly he was freezing, despite the anger not being directed at him for once.
“Then we don’t? It’s not a big deal, really, there will be other occasions. It happens every year, right?” His gaze stared at him with disbelief. “What? I’m serious, I don’t need some fancy ass shit, this is already perfect.”
“Haruchiyo…” Whatever his king wanted to say, the way Sanzu hugged him tighter seemed to change his mind. Instead, he sighed, burying his face on the crook of his neck. “Fine. Next year?”
“Next year it is.”
He started to stroke his hair once again, wanting to leave this conversation behind. It was true, his day got infinitely better the moment Mikey sat on his lap and hugged him. Sanzu couldn’t ask for more, because there was nothing but him.
“I won’t forget it, I promise.”
Sanzu gasped at the honesty in those words, a lump in his throat that threatened to make him cry, touched by his king making a promise to him. It wasn’t going to happen, he couldn’t put his own burden on Mikey, it was his to bear alone.
(Alone and isolated inside of his own mind)
“I know you won’t Mikey, I believe in you.”
He whispered with raw devotion. He will never lose his faith in Mikey, because as long as his king kept breathing… Everything was possible.
Sanzu smiled softly, melting slightly with the memory of how Mikey ended falling asleep on his lap, of how he made sure to stay still, to not interrupt the other’s dreams. If he closed his eyes, he could see how perfect Mikey looked when he woke up hours later, well rested for once. The way his face lit up when he saw that Sanzu was still there, hugging him for hours and making sure he was comfortable. He could even feel the lingering sensation of his lips on his own… Damn it, how could he miss Mikey so much when they were almost living together?
(It was due to Mikey fading in front of him, disappearing somewhere out of his reach. No, he couldn’t admit that)
He sighed, frustrated with himself. He was doing it again, yearning instead of being grateful for what he was given.
A sudden change in the white noise from nearby pedestrians forced him to snap out of his inner turmoil. He lifted up his head, scanning the surroundings to find the source of the commotion.
Sanzu’s eyes widened with panic, the world went silent. Except for the echo of his own delusions shattering into thousand pieces, ringing in his ears for a split second that lasted for ages.
“Mikey?!!”
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five favorite characters
rules: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone's favorite.
tagged by @hoardingator :3c
this was really rough bc my favs from the past (who shape lapin core) vs favs rn are clashing...... and it's Really rough when you have multiple from the same franchise and you have to Pick One (i Could put multiple from the same fandom to fill up the poll but that's Boring!)
as for my choices
obvious add pick, if you've been around on this blog long enough and know me, then i don't need to explain this one
minato from p3! aka p3 protag - if you call him his corn star name i am unfriending you Immediately (that goes for all the other persona protag's """canon names""", i def have many a words about this)
usagi but wow i wanted to do all men (bc i'm misogynistic and hate women !!!!! /s) but who would i be today w.o mentioning The bunny magical girl of all time?
libra -- this was tough bc out of all the fire emblem characters there's a few more i'd thought i'd pick but then i realized how crucial libra is to like... my tastes nowadays (and just of all times/overall) lmfao i am sooo weak for the (long hair) blonde type (bonus if healer or support of some kind; see next option below)
aventurine! i cannot explain how this man has invaded my head and took over my life.... i thought kaveh was bad but this gambler is truly infuriating,,, (affectionate) doctor i sympathize with you
and as for tagging, you the person reading this! free free to do it (and tag me!) i am simply too lazy and idr which of my friends are on here now to be bothered
honorable mentions below the cut! bc i'm in a rambley mood (it's pretty long):
the guy who SHOULD ACTUALLY BE THERE BESIDE AVENTURINE IS KAVEH! (genshin impact) happy bday btw light of my life but sorry you passed the torch to your son; other genshin impact honorable mentions: kaeya and diluc and albedo!
hsr: luocha....... you are literally just libra (do u see the vision in my taste now), this man was the reason why i kept playing hsr at all so he def deserves a medal; argenti could have been there too had there been more space! also sunday :>
rip lio (promare) who i demoted in favor of The guy aka aventurine, raihan (pokemon swsh) almost made it as well; i almost put howl (howl's moving castle) in aventurine's slot too but imo howl and lio are like same tier for me -- if i could do a sixth one of them would be there for sure
persona honorable mentions: akechi (if u hate akechi i absolutely Do Not Trust you) and naoto! < 333 also aigis! yusuke and haru! also shinji (if u hate shinji i also Do Not Trust you)
fire emblem honorable mentions: whoo boy i ALMOST put soren in 3rd or 4th slot! chrom was considered briefly too as well as flannel; when raihan was being considered i almost put claude. claude could have been there if i finished fe3h lmfao (some day!) also ferdie too! :3c
others: n (pokemon), leon (pokemon), kaiba (ygo), chibiusa (sailor moon - she should Really be up there with usagi for Many reasons but i'm not doubling up on the fandom so rip), madoka (pmmm), graha tia (ffxiv), sho minamimoto (twewy), thanatos (hades)
alternatively you could just stare at this: https://anilist.co/user/alittlelapin/favorites (but unfortunately it's Mostly anime chars - and Some video game chars who got anime/manga material and therefore they also luckily got thrown in the database lmfao)
thanks for reading o7 have a cookie!
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