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#harley keener is a little shit
marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Peter: *accidentally brushes his hand with Harleys*
Harley: *aggressively holds Peters hand*
Harley: Fucking commit to it
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chocolateandredbull · 6 months
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Tony wishes the kid would just come out and say what’s on his mind.
Or
Harley Keener tries to word a relatively simple question in a way that won’t give Tony a heart attack.
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pandagirl45 · 8 months
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Peter: *walks in with a question* *hears rhodey, pepper and Tony singing that's my shit by doja*
Peter:
Peter: *walks out quietly*
[He tries to tell Harley and riri]
Harley: yeah so?
Riri: oh no, the old people are enjoying themselves, age ist
Peter: what?? No! Just! It's doj-
Harley: you are being music classiest peter!!
Riri: for shame!
Kate: *reading* so shameful
Wade: yeah Petey boo, why are you judging the old people
Peter: screw you guys!! T-T
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letskillthefuhrer · 2 years
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Morgan: Have you checked for monsters?
Tony: Monsters aren't real sweetie.
Harley under the bed ready to grab Tony's ankles when the light goes off: :)
---
Morgan: Have you checked for monsters?
Tony checking under the bed: I'm not falling for that again.
Harley in the wardrobe ready to jump out when the light goes off: :))
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harleyification · 11 months
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Hey, so...like, my fic updated, if u even care...yeah, it's the Symbiote Harley one...yeah, the one where he gets a symbiote and gets adopted by Eddie Brock...yeah, it updated - 12.5k words to be exact. Would you like to read it??
YOU WILL READ IT
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leclerc-s · 2 months
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paint the town red - part nine
CRY MORE RED BULL
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series masterlist
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AUSTRIA 2024
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isaiah atkins where the fuck is that little spider-shit?
harley keener currently? he's on the roof of mercedes hospitality tormenting toto.
isaiah atkins how the fuck has that kid lived as long as he has?
peter parker caffeine and spite
sebastian vettel what's this about peter telling red bull to 'cry more'
bianca stark-potts that's iconic. isaiah atkins no! it's not!
peter parker it's okay, we'll just shove lestappen down their throats this weekend and they'll forget all about it.
charles leclerc what the hell is a lestappen? peter parker it's you and max! charles leclerc what the fuck??
carlos sainz it's like how lando and i are carlando!
harley keener and how tony and steve are stony
tony stark what the actual fuck keener?
sebastian vettel or how nico and lewis are referred to as brocedes, right?
arthur leclerc see charles, even seb understands what we're talking about and he's older than you.
peter parker do you guys think i'll be able to meet nico rosberg and ask him about brocedes?
ollie bearman oh god, he's a menace. harley keener back home they call him spider-menace ollie bearman you know, that suits him.
isaiah atkins right, so apparently my job also requires me to babysit peter
bianca stark-potts isaiah, buddy, i hate to break it to you, but that's the main reason you were hired.
tony stark NO HE WASN'T! it was so that he could babysit all of you, except seb.
tony stark although, i'm not quite convinced that man isn't a menace still.
sebastian vettel i am an angel stark! tony stark jury's still out
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bianca stark-potts posted new stories
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local menace is pouting after isaiah scolded him
the best boy
so where we gonna go?
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sam wilson i bet tony is watching bianca like a hawk.
tony stark WELL WHO THE FUCK IS HE??
tony stark my gut is telling me it's like verstappen or something.
tony stark i just know it has to be someone from a different team
queen shuri for a man who claims he's such a genius, you sure are stupid
bianca stark-potts SHURI SHUT UP!
natasha romanoff i know who it is
tony stark WHAT? HOW?
bianca stark-potts THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU SENT YELENA TO SPY ON ME? THAT'S SUCH BULLSHIT NAT!
natasha romanoff HOW DID YOU KNOW? bianca stark-potts for a former black widow, she's not very good at disguises. her black wig is horrendous.
joaquin torres i think it's charles. nothing can change my mind.
sam wilson it has to be like norris or sargeant.
bucky barnes clint managed to convince me, it has to be an older driver. i vote jenson button.
kate bishop well we know it's not yuki because who ever he is, he's taller than bianca.
tony stark nat, i'll pay you to tell me who it is.
natasha romanoff i only did it to know if her was good enough for her, i think he is.
natasha romanoff added one person
yelena belova ah kate bishop is here!
kate bishop oh no.
tony stark yelena, pleasure, who is my daughter seeing?
yelena belova natasha? natasha romanoff no, you can't tell him. it'll be much funnier when bianca tells him. yelena belova understood. sorry stark, i cannot say anything tony stark OH COME ON!
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harley keener added one person
isaiah atkins do i want to know why? or what this is?
carlos sainz bianca and charles have something to tell you!
isaiah atkins is it that they're dating?
charles leclerc how the hell? bianca stark-potts how the fuck?
isaiah atkins oh don't worry, it's not anything you two did. you're doing great at keep it a secret.
isaiah atkins harley and carlos on the other hand. they suck at keeping a secret. it's not like they're trying. they tease you two at every opportunity they get. seb's figured it out too.
charles leclerc how long do think it'll take tony or peter to figure it out?
bianca stark-potts i love my dad but he can't ever see what's in front of him. it took him months to figure out nat was a widow
harley keener as for peter, that kid couldn't figure that his girlfriend, mj, was flirting with him before they started dating.
isaiah atkins i hope you two know the paperwork for this is insane
charles leclerc well, we're not officially dating. bianca stark-potts so no paperwork yet.
isaiah atkins you're both idiots
isaiah atkins i hope you know that
bianca stark-potts WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
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SILVERSTONE 2024
scuderiaferrari, harleykeener, and biancastark_potts have posted new stories
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silverstone isn't ready for track terror leclerc and chili sainz.
i leave my phone with these nerds for two fucking minutes
natasha come pick up your fucking sister
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bianca stark-potts nat, ask your guard dog to back off.
yelena belova bianca, you are not very nice.
yelena belova everyone says you are a nice person. i think they are liars.
bianca stark-potts YOU CRASHED MY DATE!
yelena belova natasha said i had to make sure he could handle them. i am pleased to announce he is.
yelena belova he is very nice. offered to pay for my meal if i stayed, i did.
joaquin torres love that for you. i would've crashed her date too bianca stark-potts JOAQUIN? I TRUSTED YOU? joaquin torres I WANT TO KNOW WHO HE IS!
sam wilson if we kick tony out will yelena tell us who he is?
yelena belova no, but i would like to inform everyone that sebastian vettel and carlos sainz also know who he is. charles is a little lost on who it is. he thinks it's isaiah like peter.
peter parker IT HAS TO BE HIM. BIANCA WOULD STAB ME IN THE BACK LIKE THAT.
bianca stark-potts I'M SORRY? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD NICK ABOUT BECK YOU SPIDER-FUCK
maria hill you people have problems. please stop texting each other.
bucky barnes no thanks maria. you can leave.
maria hill has left the chat
peter parker has added maria hill
peter parker NO ONE IS LEAVING! maria hill leave me alone! peter parker NO!
tony stark YELENA I WILL PAY YOU 500 THOUSAND TO TELL ME WHO HE IS!
yelena belova i find it more satisfying to see you lose your mind over this than money. money, which i could easily steal from you
bianca stark-potts i told you, i'll tell you when I WANT TO.
bianca stark-potts keep this up and i'll let you find out from an instagram post.
yelena belova it's not isaiah. i can tell you all that.
tony stark i will drop this, but only because i know bianca is capable of doing that.
bianca stark-potts thanks dad.
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series taglist: @burningcupcakefire @spilled-coffee-cup @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @be-your-coffee-pot @celesteblack08 @vellicora @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @jamie-selwyn @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @int3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @chiliwhore @nothaqks @nataliambc @jensonsonlybutton @octopussesarecool @trouble-sistar @raizelchrysanderoctavius @meadhbhcavanagh
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¡leclerc-s speaks! i’m in mourning. no one talk to me. in a perfect world charlos are teammates until at least 2025 when audi comes into play. ALL MEN DO IS LIE! WHAT HAPPENED TO “TOGETHER OR NOTHING?”
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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emmedoesntdomath · 29 days
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warning: she’s back on her parkner bullshit
here’s the thing-
most americans will tell you they don’t have an accent. they’ll insist on it, in fact. but- realistically- even if someone doesn’t have an “accent”, they’ll have specific regional dialect traits and tendencies that they do that basically equate to having an accent. drawing out certain vowels, dropping your ‘r’, over-enunciating the ‘r’, using words that are straight up not used anywhere else in the country. etc etc.
so let’s make something clear here.
when I say that harley keener has a country accent, I don’t mean the overplayed accent that exists in hollywood (which, to their credit, DOES exist in the south, just not normally the part of tennessee that we typically shove rose hill in).
i mean that harley keener sounds like every boring american accent you see in modern television, EXCEPT for when he’s tired and his ‘t’s turn into ‘aht’ like he’s yawning mid-word. I mean that he sprinkles in a ‘darlin’ and ‘honey’ here and there, but ONLY when he feels like being a little shit or he’s too sleep deprived to have a filter. I mean that he moved to new york, noticed the way his vowels and ‘g’s seemed to slip and slide off of his tongue different from everyone else and decided that he was tired of being too much rose hill and too little harley and forced his mouth to sound like the streets around him.
and peter? peter will swear up and down he has no accent, and even if he did, it’s the right one, so shut up about it. it’s a mix of queens and jersey and the little bit of italian may imprinted on him, and it’s loud in the way that only big city accents are. you wouldn’t notice it in normal conversation, but then peter throws out a quip mid-fight, and yeah, there it is. him snapping at harley in the mornings with something that sounds like it came out of good will hunting, and going to class with a inflection like he’s from so-cal.
and they’ll both shove the accents down, on purpose and without knowing, like it’s a secret where their childhood is and how it isn’t home now. harley’s all country when he’s blaring george strait, but crisp and practiced when in a board meeting. peter’s loud and loving when he goes home to may, but quiet and slower when talking to the kid he finds lost on the street. it’s a practice, and a routine, and it’s both complimentary and grating on their ears.
just a thought.
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Worse than Fighting
https://archiveofourown.org/works/53043142 by Hell_boy_3333 Tony thinks Harley staying for a few weeks won't cause any issues. He has never been more wrong. --- A 5+1 of Peter and Harley ruining Tony's life. Words: 3433, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Peter Parker, Harley Keener, Tony Stark Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark Additional Tags: 5+1 Things, Getting Together, Enemies to Lovers, speedrun, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Little Shit read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53043142
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Original Fiction
Wildflowers of Deliverance (three-part series)
Red, like my bleeding heart in your hand - 25k (complete--editing) novella prequel (the childhood years) - Follow Nash, his sister Jo, and his best friend Teddy in Deliverance, TN as they take on bullies and grow together, only to be ripped apart before they reach their potential
Blue, like don't forget about me - 60k (complete--editing) queer romance - Twenty years after Nash and Teddy lost touch, they reunite at a funeral and find all of the too-big feelings from childhood are still there, bubbling under the surface
Violet, like these delights - 50k~ (outlining) sequel to Blue - Jo's POV, coming of age in your 30's - Jo gets the freedom she thought she always wanted and finds, it kind of sucks actually
Woolen Hollow - Drafting Percolating - fantasy, magic systems, found family, accidental chosen one; a story about choice, family, and that weird forest kingdom girl who's obsessed with fortune tellers
Hot Air Balloon Town (working title - percolating) - In a small town famous for their hot air balloon museum and annual festival, a young woman decides she's going to break the world record for highest altitude in an open basket. However, the ghost in town is complicating things.
FanFiction
Spideypool (Peter Parker/Wade Wilson)
Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) -- slowburn soulmates au where friendship is magic (or the one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots)
The Little Barnacle -- Peter panics and botches Wade's proposal by proposing first like the babbling disaster man he is. He also turned out hella aro and this was his choice.
GwenMJ (Gwen Stacy/Michelle Jones)
michelle.mp3 -- Michelle breaks up with Peter and retreats to her grandma's house in the country to lick her wounds and meets Gwen, her insufferable neighbor who also happens to be the drummer and songwriter who upended her perfectly adequate life and is apparently back for more.
Parkner (Peter Parker/Harley Keener)
*deep breath*
Freak Out 'Verse -- It starts with a kidnapping, evolves through a summer romance, and ends with a portal to another dimension, team dynamics, and... shit tits? am i reading this right? ...really? Yeah folks it says shit tits what the fuck
Peaches 'Verse -- It starts with Abbie and Harley. It starts with leaving. It ends with Abbie and Harley and Peter and May. It ends with a room and choosing to stay.
The Distance Between (You and Me) -- Harley struggles to get a grip on his PTSD while his kidnappers are still out there, the board of directors at Stark Industries are looking for any excuse to deny him his future right to inherit the company, and his "bodyguard" drives him up the fucking wall.
For the First Time, Eye to Eye -- Peter and Harley have a lot of shit to work through and Harley's family reunion (while they pretend to be boyfriends of five years rather than workplace rivals), is not the time or place. And yet...
Lemon Boy -- Post-Endgame (sorry) Harley takes in Peter as a roommate to help with expenses while he remodels his deceased uncle's house. Both grieving in their own way, they eventually learn to see the other clearly--through the mask and despite the barriers.
Parkner One-Shots
Heart (in hand) Home (in you) - 2.5k - Harley-centric sick fic
An Insignificant Problem - 1.2k - De-aged!Peter; Fed-up!Harley
Wouldn't Dream of It - 2.3k - Harley-centric alien goo induced trip down memory lane
The Human Kind - 3.7k - Spidey and Laddie play hide and seek :) (mind the tags!)
Undercover? I thought you said under covers... - 3.7k - what it says on the tin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Peter, no - 3.4k - Peter is an awful outdoorsman. Harley is in love with him.
Rhythm and Blues - 1.3k - Flash POV! He's stuck late at school and sees something he isn't supposed to.
No Need to Rush - 5.3k - It's simple: Harley loves Peter. Yet complicated: Peter loves Harley.
Second Chances for Second Guessers - 3.7k - Peter is a flighty little whimp afraid of falling in love
Pete, I'm Fake Drunk and Wanna Go Home - 2.9k - Peter needs a night off and Harley has a fool-proof plan to make him take one
The Devil is a Hopeless Romantic - 2k - tried to write angst. it's only okay
Completely and utterly devoid of sex appeal - 1.7k - Peter has the hots for Harley when he wears a certain outfit. Unfortunately it's his work uniform. And they work together.
Fake Romance Crap - 3.4k - sure he fake married me an hour ago, but do you think he likes me?
Apeshit - 2.1k - A Freak Out 'Verse one-shot written for the prompt: You know what, maybe they ARE tired of being nice. Maybe they DO wanna go apeshit.
adventures with hair dye and feelings — In Space! - 8.7k - 5 times Harley and Peter don’t kiss +1 time they do (in space!) Written for the combined prompts: 8) every single kiss so far has been a disaster but it's really funny and 46) don't have a one night stand with your coworker on the spaceship
Put in the Work - 54.7k - Rated M - fka the nasa au, now with minimal nasa (sorry). Harley built his whole life around two things: his daughter and his career at NASA. It's nothing but bad luck that he's laid off at the same time Hazel is pushing for independence. To cope, he falls back on his usual stress-relief, hotel sex with a hot stranger, but bad luck arrives in threes and it's definitely bad luck to fall in love with your one-night stand. If only he had a friend to vent to other than his sister, his daughter, and his strange quasi-friendship with Spider-Man via twitter…
Come on, take a joyride - 6.8k - 5 times Harley takes Peter for a ride +1 time Peter takes Harley
Free Pass - 9k - Rated E - a smutty New Year's Eve one-shot that got plot in it somehow...
another time, a difference place (I have loved you before) - ??? - In-progress (I'm posting as I go for once) - Endgame parkner fix it fic. Peter and Harley were together inside the soul stone. Unfortunately, neither of them remember anything and these frequent bouts of deja vu are getting weird.
Coming Up...
Baseball Smut - Rated E - parkner one-shot. Baseball uniforms are sexy, okay?
Your Mom Freaked Out - ??? - An addition to the Freak Out 'Verse that occurs sometime before the final scene of You're Freaking Out's epilogue. Harley gets blasted with temporal rays when Peter and Tony's time machine experiment goes wrong. It's just his luck that he wakes up handcuffed with Officer Benjamin Parker sitting at his bed side...
Not Spider-Man 4: Bring it on Home (working title) - ??? (LONG) - Gen fic (no romantic parkner), Harley-centric, trans ftm!Harley, canon compliant, post NWH - Harley built his own Iron Man armor and he uses it Robin Hood style to keep Rose Hill from blinking out on the map. Abbie thought she was helping by sneaking off to meet with reporter Betty Brandt and her photographer, Peter Parker, to shed some light on the dire situation in small towns like Rose Hill post-blip and the extremes people like her brother go to to keep people fed and healthy. But getting kidnapped is rarely considered helpful.
Spider-Man 4: Bring it on Home - ??? - Peter/Michelle - Sequel to Not SM4: BioH - Michelle POV (maybe with some Peter POV too--i'll decide when I actually get to writing it hah) -- Inspired by the events of Not SM4, Peter sets out to Boston get his friends back. Meanwhile, Michelle is trying to solve the mystery of why she and Ned have gaping holes in their memories. Ned has it worse than she does and has the therapy and medical bills to prove it, which is all the more reason for her to get to the bottom of this before his episodes get any worse. She's positive she could have solved it by now if not for the universe throwing constant distractions in her face--like the cute guy that recently started frequenting the shop where she works. And what the hell is Spider-Man doing outside of New York. One mystery at a time, Em. You'll figure it out. You always do.
We Were Gods (we were kids) - 100k~ - parkner childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to superheroes fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to lovers (this is the OG OG Blue like don't forget about me, back to its roots)
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captainsophiestark · 1 month
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Super Surprises
Harley Keener x Reader
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Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: Marvel
Summary: Harley's SO shows up earlier than expected to his apartment and discovers he leads a slightly more interesting life than the average MIT student
Word Count: 1,781
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Harley! You'll never believe the email I got from my professor! I mean, I'm not complaining, since it meant I could get out of class early and grab some food for us before coming here, but-"
I stopped short, frowning from the kitchen of my boyfriend's apartment. Normally, by now, he would've come out here to join me, or at least acknowledged me from somewhere else in the apartment. But I hadn't heard anything since I'd walked in the door.
Granted, I'd shown up much earlier than he'd been expecting me. My professor had canceled class about five minutes after I'd sat down in the lecture hall because he couldn't find parking, had been trying for twenty minutes, and was fed up with the whole ordeal. Still, there was no reason Harley shouldn't have been here. His lack of response was odd.
"Harley?" I called, tentatively heading towards his bedroom. I heard a hushed commotion and some shuffling from inside, then a muffled bang before total silence. I reached the knob, starting to feel a little concerned for the wellbeing of my boyfriend, when he flung the door open a moment before I could.
"Hey," he said, fixing me with a delayed version of his usual grin. "Sorry, I was just... cleaning something up."
"That's okay..." I said, narrowing my eyes a little and trying to look past Harley into his room. He shifted in the doorway to block me, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned at me, trying to look suave, but I wasn't buying it. I ducked under his arm and moved into the room, looking around with my hands on my hips.
"You, uh... you said you had a story about an email from your professor?" asked Harley from behind me. I just hummed without turning around. He was acting weird, and I was determined to figure out why.
I scanned the room, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Other than my boyfriend, that is, who hovered behind me radiating a nervous energy I never felt from him every time I took a step. I started moving around the room, and Harley looked so nervous I thought he might fidget so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. I walked past the window and his bed with no real effect, but the moment I started heading for the closet with purpose, he sprang across the room to jump in front of me.
I put one hand on my hip and fixed him with a look.
"What's in the closet, Har?"
"Nothing."
I snorted. "According to my sources, that's a load of bullshit."
"What sources?"
"My common sense. Come on, you're never this jumpy, especially not around me! So what's in the closet. I know you're not hiding a secret lover in there, so just tell me. What is it?"
"It's... a surprise," he managed, not even half as convincing as he would need to be. I just rolled my eyes and took another step towards him.
"Harley Keener, you aren't fooling anybody. You are, however, starting to worry me. So come on. What's in the closet?"
Harley's eyes darted around the room, scanning me and our surroundings, and I could see his brain working a mile a minute. Finally though, he sighed, the restlessness draining away from him as he settled his stare on me. He looked like the normal, slightly tired, sarcastic and blunt guy that I'd fallen for so fast in one of our physics classes again, and relief washed over me.
"You want to know what's in the closet? Fine. I was working up to telling you all this shit anyway, so why not now?"
I raised an eyebrow, but Harley just turned around to open the closet door a crack. He had a harsh, whispered conversation with someone apparently hiding inside, and my mind started racing, trying to come up with possibilities that would tie into this whole situation and actually make sense. Before I could come up with anything, Harley stepped back, and someone stepped out of the closet.
Never in a million years would I have been able to come up with the guess "Spider-Man is hiding in my boyfriend's closet".
My mouth dropped open as the beloved hero of New York stepped further into the room, Harley at his side. I just stared, trying to get my brain working again. I wasn't having much success.
"What... how... why-?"
"Remember I told you I met Tony Stark once, in Tennessee? When I was a little kid?"
I nodded, shifting my attention to Harley again. He had his hands in his pockets, and the usual casualness in his posture seemed a little more forced than usual.
"Well, I didn't mention that I saw him again. Regularly. He's kind of... adopted me, I guess, as a science kid who helped him fight off some bad guys one time. I actually go visit somewhat regularly, and Spider-Man's Tony's other science kid."
I blinked a few times, looking between the two people before me, my brain still trying and failing to play catchup. Spider-Man gave me a little wave, which didn't really help.
"That's... Harley, that's insane! Why didn't you... why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as his gaze fell towards the floor.
"I didn't want to tell you before we got serious. It just felt weird, like I was bragging or trying to get you to like me based on who I know. And I didn't want you to go out with me because of it, either. And then when we did get serious, it had been long enough that I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was trying to figure it out, but I guess that's not a problem anymore."
He shot a look at Spider-Man that only a sibling could, with all the annoyance and irritation possible communicated in a single second. I couldn't help smiling.
"Well, I'm glad I know now," I said, crossing the room to take Harley's hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Har. I'm always happy to hear about you and your life, even when it's... unexpected."
He smiled at me, then leaned in and gave me a real kiss. I didn't let it go on for more than a few quick seconds, since we still had a guest in the room, but it was still nice. A little reassurance for us both.
"So..." I started, finally turning to the masked superhero in the room. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man."
I held out my hand for a handshake, which he returned.
"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too! Harley talks about you all the time."
I grinned, and I could see Harley shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. Spider-Man's voice made him sound way younger than I'd thought he was, but I decided not to comment on it. At least, not right now.
"So... what brings you to my boyfriend's dorm, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Oh! Well, I'm working on this case, and there's this technology that I think can help me track down the bad guys I'm looking for, but I can't figure out how to hack into it, and Mr. Stark's super busy-"
"Yeah, just gimme the drive," Harley interrupted, holding out his hand. Spidey obliged, then Harley glanced back at me. "Are you okay with this? I know we planned to just hang out together and do some studying..."
"Har, you're involved in superhero business. I'm not going to tell you to drop it, especially when it doesn't really have an impact on us." I turned to Spider-Man. "Luckily for you, I even brought extra helpings of food from Harley and I's favorite place. Although, it might be kind of hard to eat it through the mask."
Spider-Man turned to look at Harley, who completely missed it because he was staring at me.
"I never agreed to share my food with him. How could you offer that?"
I just smiled and shook my head, nodding in Spidey's direction. Harley turned to him with narrowed eyes, but his expression quickly changed when he saw something in Spider-Man's body language or otherwise that had his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Maybe Spider-Man was secretly telepathic or something.
After a few long moments where Harley and Spidey were apparently managing to have a silent conversation despite the mask, the superhero turned back to me. Harley took my hand in his, a small smile on his face, and then a moment later, Spider-Man whipped off his mask.
A baby-faced teenager stared back at me with a beaming smile, and I instantly got hit with the most irrational surge of protectiveness I'd ever felt.
"Hi! I'm Peter," he said, giving me another little wave. "Peter Parker. Harley trusts you, and I trust him, so I figured... I could probably share this with you."
I smiled, reaching out to lightly squeeze Peter's arm.
"Thanks, Peter. I'm glad you did. And not to be dramatic, but I'll take your secret to the grave."
Peter's eyebrows shot up, and I heard Harley snort from next to me. I grinned at them both and headed for the kitchen.
"Now c'mon, you've got a case to work on or whatever and I have a ton of upper div calculus homework. None of us has time to waste."
Both boys followed after me, and within a few minutes we were settled at the table in Harley's apartment. Harley and I sat shoulder to shoulder, legs pressed against each other. Even though we were working on separate things, we were completely together, which made everything so much easier.
Every once in a while, I'd look up at Harley and Peter working over the same laptop. Whenever one of them noticed me, we shared smiles before returning to our tasks. We'd moved past the whole Stark-superhero thing pretty quickly, and I was okay with that. It didn't really change my impression of Harley or who he was, it was just another interesting aspect of his life. But I didn't miss the significance in Peter sharing his identity with me.
He wouldn't have done that, and Harley wouldn't have given him the silent yes, if Harley wasn't incredibly serious about this relationship. I'd become more and more convinced over the past few months that Harley was the one, and this told me he was most likely on the same page.
Of course, we'd have to have some conversations about that at some point in the future. But for right now, I was just happy to be working next to him, perfectly comfortable together, even in this new aspect of his life. Shoulder to shoulder through shitty classes and superhero drop-ins alike.
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Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Tony: What took you so long? I thought you were gonna be here an hour ago!
Happy: Well I was making good time in traffic until I got cut off by some hoodlum on a motorcycle!
Harley and Peter: *walking in* sorry we're late, we were stuck behind some walnut diving 20 miles an hour
Happy: *pointing at Harley* That's the hoodlum!
Harley: *pointing at Happy* That's the walnut!
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aspiring-wildfire · 2 years
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harley keener 🤝 tim drake
being a genius kid who helps a millionaire superhero in psychological crisis and is also kind of a little shit
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pandagirl45 · 9 months
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Peter:...so your dad gave your dad Rizzoli?
Harley: *kicks Peter chair out from under him*
Peter: *laughing*
Shuri: rizzed up on a tuesday
Harley: I'm quitting the team! *stomps off then comes back* and Bucky rizzed up Tony you plebians! *stops off*
Wade: *laughing with peter*
Kamala: that is so much information I didn't need *giggles a little*
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katsukiqx · 1 year
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MARVEL fanfiction I find honestly toxic as fuck;
I honestly can't deal with this mentally. This is my opinion so don't attack me on this. I do love reading MCU fanfics, it's just some honestly go way too far with theirs.
First off, Peter Parker..
Kawaii
Femboy
Pathetic
Childish
Stuffed Animals
Toxic Relationships
Like honestly, I see in Iron dad and Spider son fics, Tony literally calling him ‘Baby’, ‘sweetheart’ while always cuddling him. They’ve slept together multiple times because he had “nightmares”. Peter is 16, not once have I seen him act like this around his Aunt. Yes they hug and all that, but ya’ll are pushing the limits to the point it seems like they’re dating. Teenagers don’t do this type of stuff, it’s not cute, it’s uncomfortable and weird. He’s basically being watched 24/7 by his “Father”, no privacy and it’s just too much at this point. It's creepy, not sweet, not realistic at all.
He can’t stick up for himself. I’ve seen fanfics where he gets bullied by Flash and does nothing, full on crying. Like he gets beaten up. You guys go way too far with it to the point Flash should be in jail. When the Avengers make fun of him in fanfics, he does nothing. Peter would try to prove himself in reality or stop talking to them. He won’t get help or talk to his Aunt about anything in these fics and would just cry. He’s so weak and refuses to fight back like he should be doing. He’s got stuffed animals and is always carrying them around while crying. I’ve seen boys write fanfics and non of them have done this, it’s not cute anymore. He’s scared of thunder and lightning. Have you seen the shit he’s been through. I know about his enhancements, but he can handle it. He gets scared all the time by Thunder or starts full on crying because it hurts his ears. He went to war, do you think that's not loud at all?
He’s so weird in fanfics. Always wearing booty shorts. I get it, he’s a femboy, but they go so far up you can see his ass. He wears make up all the time like an insane amount and I’ve read some where he has cat headphones. I’ve only seen little kids with them like twice, please stop. He wears crop tops and all that, like you’re pushing it at this point. He’s a teenager running around school with such an inappropriate outfit. He’s always pouting and acting so childish to the point I agree with Flash bullying him honestly. Do you not understand what feminine even is? It's not about wearing inappropriate outfits all the time, especially at such a young age and around so many mentally ill people. He was molested as a child, I don't think he would do this.
The relationships he has with everyone is wrong and weird on so many levels. Now, Harley Keener.
Harley has started off with the shittiest character ever in so many fanfics and you all love it apparently. He would start off bullying Peter and being jealous of him around Tony in Parley stories. He would bring up his parents death after getting info about him from Tony some how. He would make fun of him and purposely trip him over. Whenever he gets mad at him, everyone tells him off for yelling at Harley. He spends so much time with Peter to annoy him that everyone thinks they’re dating and bring it up all the time. Peter complains about him to his friends and they think he’s just got a crush on him. Like, he’s a fucking dick head towards him. In the end, they some how start dating. Like, no, that’s just wrong. It’s so toxic. I would dump my friends if they acted like that when I brought up my bully.
Even when that doesn't happen, it's still really weird. He's awful and just stalks him all the time, while getting mad at him for not stepping up to Flash enough. People get so upset with other peoples problems and always yell at them and telling them to leave when they refuse to change the way they think about themselves. It's not about their mental health, they just want attention from someone who's unhealthy and seems to get the most attention from others.
Flash’s character is shit. Not once have we seen him actually touch him except when he slapped his ass(💀) in the first movie. It started with him making fun of him a few times and then the rest of the time, he honestly didn’t do much except like 2 other comments the rest of the time. He’s honestly not a bad character in the show and I enjoy him around. He’s got a hard time at home anyway, and apparently they use to be friends. Flash knows Peter is smart and only got upset because the teacher called him out that one time in class. Peter didn’t really seem quite fazed with his attitude and it’s 2023 now, people don’t as commonly get beaten up, and when they do, it’s usually people who take drugs and/or have mental issues that actually attack people. Flash has called him “Penis” like twice and after that, it went to “Parker”. Flash always makes fun of him in public, like no one cares and he some how isn’t embarrassed. He’s been dropped on the head or something in these fanfics, Istg. I get the comics, but he's an idiot in these situations and needs to grow the fuck up.
The Avengers are crazy around him. Absolutely obsessed. It’s sort of creepy. I know they’re supposedly his Aunts/Uncles, but they’re way too touchy and are obsessed with him and fight over him. Like 90% of the time it’s like that. They always wanna hold him and get cuddles. His head in their laps or theirs in his. Always playing with each others hair all the time. Randomly cuddling him from behind and actually attacking each other just for a hug. You need to tone it down a few notches. Like, it’s fun if it happens a few times, like maybe once every few chapters and less touchy, but they’re way too overprotective and friendly. They go insane over a paper cut. He’s not 5.
He’s Spider-Man, stronger than Captain America and the Winter Soldier. He was literally shot in the shoulder in NWH and didn’t even care, all he cared about was that his Aunt died in his arms and he was all alone. It’s still lodged in there, not once did they bring it up. We saw him get shot, he clutched his shoulder and bounced back when it happened, a minute later and he’s just sitting on a rooftop acting like not even a scratch was on him. We saw just how strong and fast he is without using his webbing. He was literally holding back while fighting Green Goblin, even when he wanted to kill him. Green Goblin is enhanced as well and he still would’ve been able to crush his skull in if he wanted to. He couldn’t see shit fighting Mysterio and kept going while being shot at in a narrow area with 12(?) drones shooting at him non stop. He was crushed under a warehouse and 5 minutes later in a plane crash, then ran into fire. He was 15 in Homecoming, 14 in Germany. Was in a War at 16, y’all are insane. PTSD, probably. Might see it in the next movie, but you are pushing it. He's got depression, it's been confirmed, but you all over react with the slightest things going on. Some of you don't understand what it's like to be in that state and you self diagnose your self. People with these problems are just like us, just have it more severe than others and don't go around like it's their whole personality.
Honestly, these fanfics are toxic and just so weird. I’m not even going to start with the OMEGAVERSE. Too much to handle, can’t believe how many there are. Half of the people writing this shit are at least 3-5 years older than me, probably 8. I get nightmares on a daily basis and wake up all the time, but like other people, I suck it up. He’s a sweet kid, but this is creepy. I’m praying none of you have kids honestly if this is how you’re going to treat them as teens.
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bundibird · 1 year
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Same anon from the spn posts from 2013 ask randomly just remembered I started following you because you were one of the only people in the MCU fandom who respected Harley Keener. I’m dizzy with my own past.
HARLEY MY BELOVED BOY!!!! MY FIRSTBORN SON!!!! MY SNARKY LITTLE SHIT!!!!! I love him sooooo much, and I am SO glad that other people on this site also see and recognise his delightfulness ❤️❤️
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ljlokijinx · 6 months
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!Highschool era !nonpowered 17 year old Avengers as friends. They host a party at some point when Tony's parents are away. Howard doesn't approve of Tony's friendgroup. Sam is the designated driver for the night.
The next morning the Avengers are woken up by 14 yo Peter Parker - Natasha's and Yelena's younger brother who taged along so he can get blackmail on them. Oh boy he got a lot.
Peter: Wake up motherfuckers, it's currently 9 AM and we have an hour until the Starks get here. We've got to clean the place and shit. Y'all have five minutes to get your asses up and leave otherwise you'll leave by the windows. The defenestration will start with Bucky.
Bucky: Why me, Sam was the driver who got drunk?
Peter: James Bucky Barnes I am not an idiot, I saw you spike a drink and minutes later Sam was drunk. You're down to three minutes :)
Tony: How about we purposely stay here so Bucky get what he deserves?
Peter: You're next to be defenestrated so I wouldn't try it. Next is Nat because she tried to gaslight me into driving you home.
Natasha: How are you not hungover?
Peter: I'm fourteen, no where near legal drinking age.
Sam: Don't try with that you little shit, I saw you outdrink Thor, Steve, Yelena AND Tony. Separate times. You drank at least two whole bottles of vodka.
Natasha: Peter?!
Peter: I'm friends with Harley Keener, what did you expect.
Yelena: the fuck.
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