Harry: Try for some remorse. I've seen what you'll be otherwise.
Voldemort: What do you mean you've seen what I'll be?
Harry: You know. In the afterlife. Dumbledore says hi btw.
Voldemort: THERE'S AN AFTERLIFE?! AND NO ONE TOLD ME?! I didn't even need to make Horcruxes?
Harry: yeah. i mean now you'll just suffer eternally bc your soul is damaged. you could put yourself together again except i killed all the pieces. sorry about that.
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Marauders x Y/n incorrect quotes
Can be read as poly or as platonic
Masterlist
—
Y/n, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Sirius, pulling out an Uno card: +4
James, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Remus, trembling: What are we playing
—
*Y/n is cooking*
Sirius: Any chance that’s for me?
Y/n: It’s for Remus. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side
James: I never realised the planning that went into being a disappointment
—
Y/n: Dammit, Sirius!
Sirius: What?! It wasn’t me!
Y/n: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, James!
James: Not me either
Y/n: Oh...Then who set the common room on fire?
Remus: *whistles*
—
James: I sleep with a gun under my pillow
Sirius: I sleep with a knife
Y/n: Both of you are pathetic
James: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Y/n: Remus
—
James: What’s the announcement, Remus?
Remus: It’s a lecture. Sirius’s gonna tell us everything he knows about sex
Y/n: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds
—
James: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”
Y/n: *looks over at Sirius and Remus*
Y/n: Is it “sexual tension”?
—
Y/n: Hey Remus, wanna third wheel on my date with James tomorrow
Remus: Sure
Y/n: Sirius! Wanna third wheel on my date with James tomorrow?
Y/n: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!
Remus & Sirius: ...
James: Y/n…
—
Remus: Bad news—James locked us out of our dorm room
Remus: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a professor
Remus: Bad news—Sirius finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls
Remus: Good news—a cute girl saw me do it
Remus: Bad news—it was Y/n, and since she's already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she'll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late
—
James: Sirius, you'll be working with Remus and Y/n
Sirius: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Sirius: ...Of people on a team
—
Remus: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff and got distracted
Y/n: I'm stuff!
Sirius: I'm got distracted!
James: We had sex
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falling asleeep om malfoy
𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨
fandom- Harry Potter
pairing(s)- draco malfoy
a/n: this isn't the best but it's something i wrote to one of my favourite bois, the gif sounds like he's saying my favourite- requests are forever open
luv,
tiya
requested- yes
currently playing- forever favourite
warnings- none i think-
"don't fall asleep on me, darlin" Draco cooed
his voice oh damn the lord, it sounded so pretty calling you darling. you'd want to hear it roll of his tongue over and over again. just wanna play it on a loop.
even against his misguided words, he had his hand around you waist, letting you lean on him with your head on his chest. you could hear his pretty heart beating so quickly.
why was he so nervous talking to his friends huh?
he had gone back discussing something about Potter again. maybe that's why his heart was beating so fast. Him and his bloody Potter for Merlin's sake. it was as if he was in love with him.
pottah this, pottah that, potta breathes, potta looked.
Malfoy on the other hand was having a whole panic attack inside his head.
is she comfortable? where do i keep my hand?
am i comfortable for her?
their droopy eyes slowly closed and they'd gone to sleep.
draco malfoy couldn't even pay attention to whatever they were talking about, his favourite subject in the world was in his arms.
his world was in his arms.
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Wolfstar raising Harry
Sirius: I’ll have two chocolate chip cookies please
Harry: *who’s playing in his plastic kitchen* that’ll be £10. Or you can get four chocolate chip cookies for £20!
Sirius: that doesn’t sound like a deal to me
Harry: *yelling* NO ONE SAID IT WAS
Sirius: . . . Four chocolate chip cookies would be great
Remus: it’s okay, I payed £50 for a hamburger without the fries
Harry: *shrugging* the dog ate them
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Y/N reading in peace.
Draco glaring at her
Y/N: *ignores*
Draco continues to glare
Y/N sighing: What?
Draco: what are you reading?
Y/N: shhh, I'm at a good part, he's talking about his crush.
Draco: THAT'S MY JOURNAL!
Y/N: You mean your diary?
Draco: No, my journal.
Y/N: Right...also, it's best to tell your girlfriend how much you like the sound of her laugh instead of writing it in a secret diary.
Draco: I'll hex you, I swear.
Y/N: Aww~ Like how you wrote in this last entry about me being able to hex your heart-
Draco malfunctioning
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