#hated by both his family and the exorcist world .. no wonder he's in the dark about the deep stuff in this world from the past ...

[haru-chi]

don't you think it's funny how the answer that Seiji might desperately searching for about the mask might be with Shuuichi even if he doesn't know the importance of it himself ...

while the answer that Shuuichi was dying to know ever since he entered the exorcist world about his family might be with Seiji ...

but with the communication and wariness issues between the two they just never talk and knew xDD

[minamototerunii]

Terukane getting ice cream :]

Ice cream

The moon is high in the sky, Tiara has been bathed and tucked in and Kou has gotten a complimentary kiss on the head. Teru heads out into the darkness.

He takes his usual path for a little while, checking his phone for the time before turning onto a different street. A busier night street with late open food stands and adults milling about.

He searches for a familiar face and approaches when he spots it.

“Thank you for meeting me, Aoi.”

Aoi Akane is leaning against a lamppost, looking through his phone in one hand, and a plate of takoyaki in the other. He's got the toothpick hanging loosely in his mouth, and between that and his unpleasant expression, he looks a little like a delinquent.

“Aah... No hello?”

Teru tilts his head at the other, looking at him sideways with a small smile. His hands are in his pockets.

“Are you mad?”

“No-”

Akane doesn't look up for a moment, pushing himself off the post and walking to meet him.

“It's not like coming all the way out here on a school night is a big hassle or anything.”

Despite the harsh tone, he holds out the takoyaki on offering to the class president.

“You're lucky I needed a break from studying.”

Teru declines the offer politely, but pulls out money from his pocket to hand over.

“Here. I was planning on buying you something anyway as a thank you.”

Akane looks at Teru's outstretched hand, taken aback for a moment, before pushing the money back toward him.

“I can't accept that. If you're gonna insist, just buy me something else. I didn't eat dinner tonight.”

“Hah…”

He takes his wallet back out to put his money away, looking to the open stands.

“Alright then, what do you want? Also, why aren’t you eating dinner in the first place?”

Akane hums thoughtfully while he looks at his feet, just a bit of a blush coming to his face.

“Ao-chan...called me over for homework help. By the time we finished, I was behind on my reading and-

Uh- It's fine, I normally power through with an energy drink.”

Teru rolls his eyes at the lovey dovey talk coming from him. He puts a hand on the other’s shoulder and pulls him over to look for a better meal.

“That’s no good, you know. No wonder you’re so thin.”

He pokes him in the ribs with an unusual air of friendliness. This makes Akane flinch with expectation, but he is surprised that it’s painless. Akane looks back at Teru casually- as casual as he can be with his guard up

“ Ah... Yeah...

I mean...you're one to talk- Is this your nightly routine? Someone as busy as you should really try sleeping. Otherwise that smile you wear all day will start to sag.”

It doesn't sound like it, but he is voicing some genuine concern. It's not like he hasn't noticed the moments where Teru's head is on the desk in the student council room- right before he picks it up and immediately begins antagonizing him.

“Well, it hasn’t yet.”

Teru shrugs and assures with his same smile.

“I do my best to keep the neighborhood safe. If I had more time I would go into town too, where there’s stronger spirits. Besides- I had dinner already.”

He turns their attention back to the topic, pointing to a curry and yakiniku stand.

“This place isn’t bad.”

Akane finds his mouth watering as soon as he catches a whiff of the yakiniku. He just nods, taking some steps ahead- something in him doesn’t want to let the upperclassman know he’s excited.

“ ...You know- you can’t keep the whole world safe. Sometimes I think you forget you’re just a student.”

“I’m not just a student, though.”

Comes the immediate rebuttal. Teru moves quickly to order the food Akane’s drooling at before he can argue.

“I’m a promising exorcist with a long family history to uphold. If I can’t even keep one town safe, then what am I?”

Akane squints at the other with his sharp eyes, cutting through the bullshit easily.

“You’re still just a kid, stupid. Tragedy is happening all over- that’s just how life and death interact. You should narrow your scope a bit to the things that matter most.”

He stabs the last of the takoyaki with the toothpick, holding it out as a final offering

“You’ve done a pretty good job keeping your brother safe. He’s still kicking, I think that’s a pretty solid track record.”

Teru leans forward and takes the food into his mouth with a blank expression. Chewing thoughtfully and shaking his head.

“ I’m not out to make a pity party.”

He takes the finished order from the vendor with a smile, pushing it into Akane’s hands.

“I’m here to thank you. For helping me today.”

“Ah-”

Akane definitely hadn’t meant to feed him couple style like that. He frowns, focusing on the meat in his hands instead.

“That’s what this was about? I thought for sure you were gonna wrangle me into some other business with you.”

The flustered look he receives makes him remember how much he likes messing with Akane and he has to stifle a chuckle with his hand, looking away.

“Well... I was curious about something…”

“What would that be?”

(His smile grows as he watches Akane take a bite, his face lighting up only a moment at the savory barbecue before he hides any less-than-annoyed expression from him. Has Teru ever bought someone food before that wasn’t his siblings? Has he ever hung out with friends?

“Ah... I was just wondering about your powers. Are they only effective at the school? Can you use it anywhere?”

It’s another moment where Akane chews another piece contently and swallows. Should he be telling him everything-? Well...he doesn’t seem like a threat right now...

“Mmm... it’s a bit more inconvenient than you’d think. My contract only allows me to use it at school- but I kind of prefer it like that.

It means I get to be more human- it’s not my problem off school grounds.”

“Mm. Ok. So I actually can’t really wrangle you into any other business.”

Teru nods along thoughtfully.

“Can you see supernaturals outside of school?”

He follows up while tapping the edge of his glasses with a curious expression.

“...

I mean- I’m not wearing these for no reason. That’s the one thing that follows me home.”

Akane turns away, carefully straightening his glasses back into order.

“Those pink things hide in my backpack. It’s better if I just don’t see it.”

Teru laughs.

“The mokke are pesky aren’t they? They stopped following me long ago- when I started zapping them on sight in the house.”

This makes Akane pause, looking at his feet for a second, then peering up at Teru under his glasses with sharp eyes.

“ I mean... it’s not like they’re hurting anything. Isn’t that a bit intense? Especially since your sister likes them.”

It feels weird, and he’s visibly uncomfortable defending the supernaturals he claims to hate so much.Teru looks a bit tense and glances away.

“ Mm. Tiara does like them, and they’re not the worst nuisance, but... If my grandparents visited, and there were stray spirits in the apartment... They would not approve.”

He says it with a sharpness. It carries a heavy weight.

“No wonder you’re uptight.

You’re high ranking and still under that kind of scrutiny?

Yikes.”

Akane scoffs as he leads them to a bench- strategically next to an ice cream stand- and sits down to finish his meal.

“Must be hard.”

Teru follows, hesitating for a moment before sitting down, like he can’t relax.

“Of course they’re watching me. I have my siblings with me, and they are also prospective exorcists. I can’t fuck up.”

He sighs and looks up at the sky, watching the distant twinkling stars cloud over. The vulgar language catches Akane off guard for a moment though, but he forgoes the snark this time.

“...Hey-

Don’t take this the wrong way but…

Do you have any friends?”

The blonde’s face scrunches for a moment in offense, but it doesn’t last as he notices the lack of humor in Akane. His lips press together.

“Um... No. Not really. I mean, I have classmates and... I have you?”

...Really-?”

The underclassman squints at him, not expected to fall into that category by any means. “So...you’re trying to do this exorcist responsibility, raise your siblings, and uphold your family’s name-”

He starts to talk with his hands, gesturing with more emphasis on each burden

“ AND you’re pushing away the only people that can really help you- on top of that you have NO social life or means of venting.”

He frowns, brow furrowing in concern and harsh judgement.

“You told me this wasn’t a pity party, but you’re making it hard not to be. I give you a year TOPS before you snap entirely.”

“That’s not- I mean. I’ve been fine for this long. I don’t see why that would change. It’s not like I have time to make friends.”

Teru has gotten defensive, fingers tapping against his knees as his jaw reddens.

“Yeah, but do you really want to burn out at the ripe age of 18 years?”

Akane leans forward, resting his chin in his hand and looking up at the other boy.

“Your current outlet is harassing me at school, but if that's all you have...

I don't know. That must be lonely, that's all.”

They sit in silence for a little while, and Akane keeps to himself as he thinks. Finally, he stands-

“Hold on.”

He walks a little bit over, and when he returns, it's with an ice cream cone in each hand. He holds out one to the older boy.

“It's chocolate raspberry- I don't know if you like that at all. But don't eat it if you don't want it. It's whatever.”

Teru takes it with both hands, looking down at it with shameful redness creeping up his cheeks. He doesn’t know how to respond, so he sits quietly, venturing to try a bite of the treat. It’s one of the first times Akane has seen him speechless. When he finally says something, it’s subdued. “It’s good.”

“Yeah…”

Akane tries not to look at him too much- but it's unfamiliar seeing him without his aura of overwhelming power. He...almost feels bad about it.

“...Raspberry is my favorite.

...What's yours?

Favorite flavor, I mean.”

“Chocolate.”

Teru smiles again, some of the ice cream on the tip of his nose.

“Then this isn't half bad for you, huh?”

Akane finds himself smiling back despite it all, though he keeps his gaze down to hide it.

“...What other kinds of things do you like?

Do you have any actual hobbies?”

Maybe this is good for him... both of them really- Talking like friends.

Teru is looking over at him again, his eyes piercing even when his expression is soft.

“Hobbies…”

He definitely has to think about it for a moment.

“I like to read and... Sing.”

“Singing, huh? Have you ever gone out for karaoke?”

Akane keeps glancing back at Teru, feeling antsy under his scrutiny- even though this is a different face than he normally makes.

“You'd probably enjoy it…”

Teru scratches behind his own ear, looking away towards the people on the street.

“ Ha... No, I haven’t.”

Something feels shy between them, and he finds himself having a hell of a time continuing to be so genuine, but... it still feels nice to talk.

“What about you?”

“Mm...I've had a lot of hobbies.”

It doesn't require much explanation- of course the upperclassman knows of his efforts to impress his childhood friend. He takes a deeper breath, speaking more in a mumble as embarrassment rises in his chest.

“ ...I do really like doing miniature kits...

I started that because Ao-chan was interested, but I kept it up…”

Teru tilts his head, leaning a bit towards him with interest.

“Miniature kits...? Like.... those tiny house things?”

He mimics tweezers. He gets a big smile suddenly.

“Wow! That’s so cute.”

“Ah- You don't have to call it cute…”

He feels his cheeks redden a bit, and he quickly stuffs a bite of ice cream in his mouth, wincing at the chill.

“... Mmm. I'm working on...a teahouse right now…”

Teru catches on to his blush quickly, bumping him a bit with his shoulder. He isn’t going to let him out of this.

“ A tea house? Do you have any pictures?”

“...”

Akane bites his lip, sitting for a moment with his shoulders hunched forward. It's not like...it's a secret- but it's not something he talks about either. His hand slowly retrieves his phone from his pocket, and in a moment he's holding out a picture of a recently finished greenhouse. It's decorated with an abundance of intricately crafted flowers and gardening tools, and though the picture isn't focused on it, Teru can see the small figure of a certain dark haired girl standing in the midst of it.

“I just...finished this a bit ago. It's still kind of messy- the flowers were hard because there were so many kinds. So don't look too closely.”

Teru spends a long and silent moment inspecting the picture. His hand has reached out to steady the phone and pull it closer to himself, over Akane’s hand.

“...

This is…

Really amazing! You made all of it by hand?”

He points to one of the gardening tools in the picture.

“How big is that?”

Akane stiffens under the touch for a moment- but only a moment as he focuses on his handiwork instead.

“That-? Uh... About a centimeter, give or take. It was the length of my pinky nail.”

Teru’s eyes are wide and interested.

“ Wow! Really? That’s crazy!”

He laughs in delight, but sombers slightly.

“...Akane-san....Didn’t like this?”

“I... haven't shown her this one.”

Akane can't contain himself now, face heating up more and more.

“I showed her the first one I made- It was supposed to be the sakura trees at the spring entrance ceremony…”

He looks a little bummed out, his voice becoming tense and flustered.

“She liked the details but she told me ‘Wow, Akane-kun, it's like you captured me forever here. Kinda creepy~☆’

WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY? So now I make little worlds for tiny Ao-chan and I can't show her any of it!!!”

“Ah…”

Teru watches the other spiral, nodding along with brows upturned.

“That’s rough... But I mean, I’m sure there’s lots of other people who would like this sort of thing. I think it’s pretty cool. You should post it online or something.”

He tilts his head with a little encouraging smile. It’s still hard to tell where his mask smiles end and real ones begin, but he sounds pretty honest.

“...You think so?

I've never thought about sharing it…”

Akane looks back up, finally regaining composure. Regrettably, there's still pink to his cheeks.

“...Thanks.”

“Yeah- No problem.”

He looks away, his cone gone now.

“ ...

Anyway- I should get going. I still have a lot of ground to cover.”

He stands from the bench with a sinking in his chest, feeling awkward again.

“Ah, hey- hold on.”

Akane reaches out, grabbing Teru's sleeve. He looks up at him with strain, having spoken before thinking.

“...You... can call me out here like this again. I don't mind.

I-if you buy me food again, I mean.”

Teru stares back at him for a beat, looking surprised. His expression softens again into a smile though.

“Sure thing.”

He steps out of his grasp with a little wave.

“See you tomorrow, Akane.”

“See you-”

Akane waves back, sitting for a while longer to reflect on it all- how involved he should actually be...how involved he WANTS to be.

...Whatever- he still has studying to do anyway.

This was an adapted roleplay between me and @nene-chanblog ^^ Hope you enjoyed! <3

[strvlveera]

Requested!

Thank you @jshk-oneshots for requesting!

Please go to her blog she is a very sweet and kind person!~

Also @toilettebound here’s what you’ve been waiting for~~

Warning: Contains trying to commit suicide

Isn’t Teru so pretty?? uwu

I’m sorry this is so damn long-

Didn’t Know You Were an Exorcist

Teru Minamoto x Reader

Kagami~Sama, that is who you were. A kind-hearted supernatural whose boundary was a mirror, reflecting peoples bad emotions to good if they wanted you to do so. Known by all humans, supernaturals? Not so much. All of a sudden all those wonderful titles withered and became horrid and detested titles, calling you the ‘evil one’ who harms anyone who gets in your way. These titles came upon you becasue of one powerful exorcist family. The Minamoto family.

They hated your guts and didn’t like the way you were being kind to most of the humans and supernaturals, one of them being Hanako~Kun. They believed you were tricking them with your kindess and beauty, even though you weren’t. Having your name tainted and reputation crushed you turned corrupted, leaving you to your (new) shattered mirror. Your safe boundary, your haven. Cold and alone, with no one by your side. 

You stayed like this for a few years. Feeling empty and scared that if you leave your mirror, they will come to find you again. After having plenty of break downs and crying for an eternity you finally decided to leave your ‘safe bound’ and live with the people who you once had cherished the most. Humans.  

Quickly, you fled from your cottage (that is now in ruins) and went to dwell where the humans lingered, trying to recall what memories you have left of them. Whilst running through the woods you spotted a glint of light coming your way.

Perfect.

With no hesitation, you got onto the roof of the vehicle ( a car ) trying to make yourself as light as possible so you wouldn’t have disrupted the humans driving.

The vehicle stopped which was your sign to jump off and explore. You hadn’t been outside your boundry for ages! The boundry being the mirror. The fresh air that you breathed in felt amazing but it was no time to go on a dander. You had to figure out what has changed since the past century. Having not aged you were still as beautiful as you were before the whole incident still looking young and fresh. People kept on looking at you while you were walking through the streets. This was gonna be hard to get used to and oh boy was it hard.

~Time Skip to when Teru enrolled into Kamome Gakuen~

“I'm finally here! After trying to find out what a computer was and how to use it I ended up enrolling to...” You looked weirdly at the piece of paper in your hands, trying to pronounce the school name properly

”K-kamum? Kamone? Ah! Kamome Gakuen, ” You finally said.

Trying to figure out where your class was you ended up bumping into someone.

”Do I hold the map this way? Or-”

”Ah!”

You fell on something, actually someone.

You opened your eyes to see who you accidentally tumbled into, only to be met with the most perfect blue diamond eyes you've ever seen. You didn't realise you were staring a bit too much. The stranger had to wave his hand near your face to regain your consciousness.

”Are you okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, ” He apologised, looking at you worryingly.

”Ah- no it's totally okay! I should be the one apologising excuse me for not being polite.”

He was first to stand up and lended me a hand. I gratefully took it while smiling at him. I dusted my skirt off and decided to introduce myself.

“Well, I’m [L/N] [F/N] and I hope we can become great friends!” You looked at him as if asking for his name.

”Oh uhm, Chikara Teru.” He replied. He looked uneasy.

We made eye contact again and then I got lost in his deep blue eyes, with him ending up waving his hand near my face (again). I just couldn't help it. His eyes are way to pretty for the world.

We made our way into the school building and we both ended up in the same class. Pretty convenient if I do say so myself. There's just this tingle in my heart telling me it's wrong to befriend a human being since it would be weird to tell him that I'm actually a supernatural who's literally over one hundred years old but just ignored it.

~Time Skip, 2 years~

( sorry for so many time skips ._. )

It's been two years since I enrolled in Kakome Guaken and Teru~Kun and I have become great friends but his popularity skyrocketed, leaving me in the shadows. I felt fine so I didn't complain to Teru about it. Whenever one of his ’fangirls’ would want to talk to him they always come to me first to ask for advice and I always respond with, ”Just be yourself! It doesn't matter what Teru thinks of you.” To be honest, it does hurt when they confess to them, only for Teru to reject them. I've always imagined myself as one of his fangirls confessing. I know he'll turn me down anyway so what the bother?

It's also been really hard not telling Teru that I'm a supernatural and I know he hates supernatural with all his might since he went on a rant about it. During that conversation, I stayed quiet while pangs in my heart erupted and I had to excuse myself to the toilet and cried my heart out. At that moment I realised that I actually had fallen for a human. No, no, no! I can't, it's not okay to. I'll have to keep these feelings to myself, even if they hurt me. At that moment, I heard someone come in.

”Hanako~san, Hanako~san, ” A soft voice said.

Is she talking about Hanako~Kun?

I swung the toilet door open and saw Hanako~Kun with a girl who had...radish legs? Huh. Hanako looked very troubled and wondered who I was but the realisation came to his face as he smiled widely at me.

”Kagami~Sama!” He cheerfully said.

That name still haunted me. My face went dark. Hanako was confused.

”Hanako~Kun, please don't call me that anymore. Just call me [Y/N].”

”Huh but why Kagami~Sama? I haven't seen you in years.” He said astonished.

”You haven't changed one bit!” He added.

At this point, I got quite annoyed.

”Just call me [Y/N] instead Hanako~Kun. Please I'm begging you!” I pleaded.

Hanako shrugged his shoulders. ”Whatever you say.”

---------

It's been two whole days since that happened. Hanako~Kun kept on following this girl callee Yashiro or whatever. Teru and I are doing okay, I still make so much effort to talk to him but only to be responded with a ”Sorry [Y/N]~Chan but I'm busy, ” or a ”Can’t talk right now sorry.” It really hurt and I didn't know what to do about it. So I decided to gather all my courage and confront him about it. That was a bad idea.

After searching for Teru you finally found him but not alone. Hanako was with him and it seemed as if they’re fighting.

“This is not gonna be good,” I told myself .

I quickly sprinted to the school roof to stop them. I slammed the door open to find Teru trying to destroy Hanako.

“TERU STOP!” I screamed. They all turned to look at me. I ran towards Hanako and tried to restrain him from fighting Teru with my normal form but it wasn’t helping. I looked at Teru for help only to see him holding a staff used for exorcism. I looked at Teru shockingly.

“Do you see now Kagami~Sama?” Hanako said.

“He’s an exorcist, he’s not fit being with you.”

My heart shattered and I felt tears erupt from my eyes.

“Hanako~Kun please leave,” I say sternly.

“Be careful~” With that he left.

It was silent. The wind blowing my hair and skirt.

“So, when were you gonna tell me your a supernatural?” Teru asked.

“Today.” I responded with hurt in my voice.

“Teru I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I-I thought you woul-“

He cut me off.

“I knew.”

“....Excuse me?” I say shocked.

“What do you mean I knew?” I asked.

“I knew that you were a supernatural ever since we met,” He said calmly.

My eyes widen and the streams of tears finally came flooding. Rage started to burst through me.

”What do you mean I KNEW?!” This was it for me.

”[Y/N]~Chan I-” he tried to speak but I wouldn't let him.

”So you're telling me that I've been crying and keeping to myself for nO REASON!?” I screamed.

”Do you know how many times I felt like leaving this school so that I wouldn't feel miserable or unhappy? I stayed though because of you Teru, I stayed because I didn't want to leave you.” I cried.

I stayed quiet after I said that as if someone had stitched my mouth closed.

”[Y/N]~Chan, I didn't want to tell you I knew because I thought it would've ruined our friendship. You were the first friend that I made which really boosted my confidence. I'm sorry if you felt lonely and miserable it's probably my fault.” Teru explained.

I looked up to him, his eyes shaking. I knew that he was gonna say something that I didn't know but I didn't know that it was going to be bad.

”Actually [Y/N]~Chan, I have something to say to you,” he meaningfully said.

I didn't say anything. Just gave him a little nod.

”My name isn't Chakara Teru...” He said

I was intrigued at what he had said, confused even.

”I'm actually Minamoto Teru.” He breathlessly explained.

”...........”

”[Y/N]~Chan?” Teru asked worryingly.

Minamoto.

Minamoto.

That was the family of exorcists that ruined me, who breaked me apart and Teru is part of that family. My eyes widened. I befriended my enemy. I felt suffocated, the one person I had to fall for was my enemy.

I chuckled to myself.

“Of course., I’m so stupid to believe I couldn’t finally be happy,” I sadly said with a small smile.

I looked behind me.

“[Y/N] what are you doing?” Teru asked concerned.

I took a step back.

Teru realised what I was trying to do.

“[Y/N] don’t you dare take another step back!”

One...

“LISTEN TO ME!”

Two....

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!”

Three...

I smiled at Teru, and gave a small wave.

“Thank you for everything Teru,” I calmly said.

Teru began running towards me at lightning speed, reaching his hand out to grap me.

“Bye.”

I took a step back and felt the air engulf me.

“This is it,” I told myself.

“I took my own life for a human,” I chuckled to myself.

“How pathetic.”

Until...

I felt a warm hand grab my arm. I looked up with tears streaming down my face like a waterfall. I again saw those diamond eyes.

“I love you, [Y/N]~Chan!’ Teru screamed. Bricks of tears at the corner of his eyes.

“Please don’t ever leave me.”

He pulled me up, hugged me tightly and I started sobbing against his shoulder while hitting him lightly.

He stared at me then got up. Put his hand out to help me up. This was a familiar scene. I gratefully took it smiling at him.

“I’m [L/N] [F/N], a supernatural who’s name is Kagami~Sama,” I explained, smiling at him.

“And I’m Minamoto Teru, an exorcist.”

We both started laughing.

We looked at each other and leaned in.

My cheeks were hot and I felt butterflies. We were almost there when-

“Oooh, Nii~Chan I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?”

We both quickly whipped our heads to where the voice came from only too see Teru’s little bother and my kouhai.

~End-

I’m so sorry that this took a long time and it didn’t turn out good .-. I’m still proud tho lolol

There’s probs a lot of spelling mistakes that I haven’t seen •3•✌🏽

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

Ginger Tea and Cucumbers

Note: It’s been awhile since I updated, mainly because I’ve been working on my dissertation for school. Anyway, I couldn’t find it in myself to do the Wes prompt, so I did the next in my line of requests. Awhile back I had anon ask: ““I know you had mentioned Emma had a hard pregnancy with Beth and wondered if you would write about that?” As always @welllpthisishappening has been an absolute inspiration and thank you @hi-rwt for being a queen and reading my shitty writing. Summary: For the past week, Emma has been so sick that she’s convinced that she might be tethered to her toilet by an invisible cord. Her mother and husband seem to have a better idea what’s going on with her than she does. Rating: T Word Count: 5,600+

Hell isn’t a place. Hell is a state of being.

Emma Swan had decided this as she was purging her stomach into the toilet. She had been horribly sick all week and at this point she was convinced that there was some invisible tether keeping her attached to her bathroom. She had been camped inside of it for the past few days and she was starting to think that it was in dire need of a remodel. Sunshine yellow was getting a bit too old.

On top of the possible remodel, Emma was now convinced that dry toast was the worst breakfast choice in the world. Crunchy wheat bread was not something that came back up smoothly and she was now hundred percent certain that there were pieces of grain or crumbs lodged in the back of her throat. It was, all and all, a horrible feeling and there was no other way to describe it other than hell.

The only comfort she felt in that moment came in the form of the cool porcelain pressing against her cheek. A part of her was grossed out that she was resting her head on a toilet seat, the other half was beyond caring.

As another bout of bile and bread came back up, a hand curled itself into Emma’s hair, pulling it out of the thin line of vomit expelling from her mouth. At first, she thought it was her husband, but then a small slender hand reached forward to give the toilet a flush.

“Sorry. I needed a courtesy flush. It kinda reeks in here,” her mother called softly over her shoulder.

Emma closed her eyes, sighing a bit as the hand in her hair began caressing the top of her head. She leaned back into the touch. It felt almost like heaven.

“Sorry. I got used to the smell…” she croaked, voice raspy from her near constant retching.

“Oh Emma…” Her mother’s voice was soft and full of sympathy. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I know you haven’t been feeling well lately. I’m glad Killian told me to check in on you while he took the boys to daycare.”

“Not feeling well is an understatement,” Emma groaned. “I feel like the little girl from the Exorcist.”

“Well, I brought over some ginger tea and some other goodies for you. Let’s get you off the floor. Sound good?” Snow said, still smoothing Emma’s hair.

“You’re my savior,” Emma groaned, pulling herself off the floor.

“No,” her mother said with a gentle shake of her head. “I’m just your mother.”

Though Emma was fully capable of picking herself off up and walking on her own, Snow guided her with a gentle arm slung across her shoulders. She led Emma into the kitchen. and helped her into a chair. Normally, Emma would bristle under such babying, but it felt good to cared for a bit after being constantly sick for the past week straight.

Snow gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before busying herself in Emma’s kitchen, grabbing two mugs from the main cabinet and riffling in the numerous paper bags on the counter. Emma’s eyes went wide as she took in how many bags were.

“I thought you said some goodies. This isn’t goodies. This is…I don’t even know what this is,” Emma replied, gesturing to all the bags.

“It’s groceries,” Snow responded, taking out the electric kettle from beneath the sink. “Killian said you were out of food so I took it upon myself to make sure you were all eating.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Emma sighed, massaging her temples. On top of constant vomiting, she was suffering from a ridiculous migraine. It just didn’t seem to stop.

“Of course, I did. I’m your mother,” Snow scoffed. “And your husband said the same thing. Put up a good token fight too before he handed over a grocery list. You’re both too stubborn for your own good.”

“Sorry. We’re just…” Emma tried to find the right words but kept coming up short. “It’s just old habits die hard, I guess.”

There was a flicker of hurt on her mother’s face. It was there for only a moment, but Emma saw it nonetheless. She had been living in Storybrooke for seven years now, but the self-reliance she had built up over the decades still remained. It was even worse with Killian who had relied only on himself for centuries. They were terrible at asking for help, much less accepting it unprompted.

Snow put the tea bags in the mugs before filling them with water. She then went searching through her bags and took out a pack of crackers.

“Well, we’re going to keep working on those habits,” Snow said with a smile as she placed the packet in front of Emma. “Because you both have family now. And our family sticks together as we have for the past few years now.”

Snow left the table to bring back the mugs of tea. Emma had never been much of a tea or coffee person, but if the tea would stay down instead of coming back up, then she would drink it. Tentatively she brought it to her lips and took a small sip. Emma wrinkled her nose. She didn’t care much for the taste, but she was quite relieved when she didn’t immediately feel the urge to spit it back out.

“I know, I know,” Emma said, putting her hand on top of her mother’s. “Trust me, I know and I’m grateful and I love you. You’re great, but sometimes the subconscious forgets it.”

“Good. Now eat those crackers. You need something in your stomach and it really helps tap down the nausea. Ginger tea is also great. It did me wonders when I had morning sickness with you and Ruthie.”

Emma’s eyes bulged again at the term ‘morning sickness.’ She suddenly felt like she had ash in her mouth along with the underlying aftertaste of vomit.

“Fascinating,” she muttered, opening the package of crackers. “But this isn’t morning sickness.”

“It isn’t?” Snow asked with a delicate arching of her brow. “It’s not morning sickness?”

“No,” Emma scoffed. “I’ve never gotten morning sickness before. I mean I was just constantly dizzy with the boys, but never like this. This is just a nasty bug and we probably shouldn’t have let the boys go to daycare. The other parents are going to hate us.”

“Every pregnancy is different, Emma,” Snow said patiently. “I was constantly craving salty foods with you. I had none of that with Neal. And all I wanted was Mexican food with Ruthie and god, I had so much heartburn. And can you honestly tell me that it’s not a possibility? And that you haven’t felt other symptoms? Felt a little off? Sore boobs? Feeling tired? Craving anything?”

“I’m constantly tired, I’m a mother. I have a nineteen-year-old, a four-year-old and a two-year-old. And sure, I’ve been a little…sensitive…in the chest area but I’ve switched pills a few times and the doctor said that it’s a side effect of that.”

“That would do it. You know those don’t work right away when you switch,” Snow replied in an almost lecturing tone. “I thought you were trying though…”

Emma snorted.

“No, we weren’t trying. We aren’t trying. We were very much done after Wes. Two little ones are more than enough,” Emma replied, rubbing at her forehead and sighing.

And she had barely wanted two before. She hadn’t really planned on having anymore kids aside from Henry, but three months after her wedding, they discovered Harrison. Harrison was going to be their own one and only until Emma kept discovering articles about the benefits of siblings and how only child had a tendency of ending up spoiled. Watching Aurora and Philip’s son have a meltdown and toss cereal boxes had been enough to know that a second child was necessary to keep them grounded. But she had planned on being done after Wes came into the world.

“Well, from where I’m standing, you weren’t done all things considered,” Snow said, now raising both eyebrows at her.

“I’m not pregnant, Mom,” Emma groaned, resisting the urge to smack her head against the table.

“Not pregnant,” Snow repeated.

Without any other prompting, Snow got up and began riffling through the bags again. Emma watched her, brows knitted together in confusion. When Snow returned to the table, she placed an all too familiar cardboard box in front of her.

“If you’re not, then you’ll have no problem taking a test,” Snow said after a moment.

“You bought me a test?” Emma asked in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not kidding. That’s why I bought it. Emma, you cried last week when you couldn’t pick up the boys on time and you fell asleep in the middle of the day when you were over our place on Sunday. I would bet the entire farm on the existence of a new prince or princess right now,” Snow replied, shoving the box forward until it hit Emma’s forearm.

“A new little pirate. Not a princess or a prince. Killian wouldn’t stand for it,” Emma muttered under her breath.

She hated herself a bit for everything saying that and humoring her mother’s assumptions. Though it was true. Killian was well on his way to turning the boys in little buccaneers with the amount of times he took them on the Jolly and taught them how to sail. She had so many pictures on her phone of dark heads and a blonde one bent over with rope between their fingers as Killian taught them to tie knots.

She couldn’t look at her mother, just glared down at the box. She couldn’t be pregnant. She couldn’t be. Though it would be just her luck if she was. She didn’t have the best track record with contraception. Henry had been the result of Neal’s old favorite “pull out” method. Harrison’s conception, on the other hand, was the result of not taking her birth control when she was in the mental institution – something she had conveniently forgotten when she had been reunited with her husband in the wake of the Final Battle. Both of those instances could be understood given the mitigating circumstances, but if she were somehow pregnant this time around, then it could be chalked up to nothing except irresponsibility.

“A pirate prince,” Snow replied with a shrug. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”

“It doesn’t matter. It won’t mean anything because I’m not pregnant, Mom,” Emma replied, getting frustrated.

“Alright, Emma, alright,” Snow responded, handing up her hands in mock surrender. “You don’t want to be pregnant, but I honestly think you might be. Just take the test and prove me wrong.”

“Fine,” Emma snapped, giving her mother a vicious glare and violently snatching the box off the table.

Without waiting for her mother to reply, she climbed out of her chair and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her like an angry teenager. She regretted closing the door as soon as she did because she was once again reacquainted with the smell of her own sick. She dropped the box suddenly and gripped the sink for balance as a sense of dizziness and nausea returned.

“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath.

She swallowed heavily, making eye contact with herself in the mirror. God, she really hoped this was just some nasty illness. Doubt was starting to creep into her mind as she regarded herself. She knew this dizziness. It normally wasn’t companied by constant vomit, but she knew it. Fuck. She hoped she was wrong. She would never live down her mother if Snow was right. It would also suck so hard if she was pregnant again since she literally just got off all the baby weight gained from her pregnancies with Harrison and Wes.

Reluctantly, she let go of the sink and sat down on the toilet, gripping the back of her head with her hands and staring at the test sitting on the floor. If Emma didn’t know better, she would say the cardboard box was mocking her. She almost wanted to kick it but that would feel like giving in.

“I’m not scared of you,” she muttered under her breath, picking up the box and ripping out the test.

She tossed the remnants of the box and the directions against the door in a careless manner that she knew would annoy the hell out of her husband. But Killian wasn’t here and she was in the mood to be a little destructive. She didn’t need the directions anyhow. She had taken these tests more times than she cares to admit.

She ignored the shaking of her hands, she undid her jeans and pulled down her underwear. She took a few breaths, trying calm herself. She was going to fine. This was just her mother being paranoid. Everything was going to be fine.

It was a lie. And she knew it was a lie.

She almost didn’t want to urinate, but she forced herself to. Her nose scrunched a bit as some landed on her fingers as she held the test in place. There was honestly very little dignity in these tests and she wished there was another home test alternative - preferably one that didn’t involve peeing on a stick.

Every cell in her body seemed to be vibrating as she stared down at the test in her hands, waiting. She didn’t want to so much as blink until the results came.

“Come on, negative, negative, negative, negative,” Emma chanted under her breath, her knee bouncing violently as she mentally tried to will a negative test result into existence.

A small pink pulse sign appeared. It was faint at first, but it grew more prominent as the seconds passed. The blood seemed to drain from Emma’s cheeks as she stared down at it. She dropped it and immediately pushed it as far away from her with her toes as she could.

“Fuck,” she whispered, raking her hands through her hair. She couldn’t stop staring at the pink pulse sign.

There was a knock on the door and Emma nearly jumped out of her skin, yelping and clutching the bottom of the toilet seat for dear life.

“Emma? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while now,” Snow called.

“Yeah…” Emma’s voice left like it was disconnected from her body. “Just give me a moment.”

With trembling hands, Emma pulled back up her underwear and jeans all while still staring at the positive pregnancy test on the floor. It was official - she was the absolute worst being responsible about birth control. She was on her third accidental kid. She should have just gotten her tubes tied or something after Wes.

Shit.

She picked up the test with the tips of her fingers as if she was touching something radioactive. Delicately, she tossed into the trash. She didn’t want to look at it anymore. It had given her the information that she sought, unwanted as it was, and now it was useless.

Emma turned on the faucet and began washing her hands vigorously, losing herself in the motion of rubbing soap between her fingers. When she was done, she splashed a bit of water on her face in hopes of making herself look fresher and more alert. It just made her look like a drown rat.

A pregnant drown rat.

She let out a loud sigh, blowing her hair out of her face. It was time to face the music. She felt like a teenager again, leaving the bathroom to tell one of the security guards the news. Except this time, it wasn’t a security guard. It was her mother.

Snow was looking at her expectantly when she left the bathroom. One look at her face and Emma had to avert her eyes to the ground. She closed the bathroom door behind her, pushed herself against the wood and let out another loud sigh that would make any teenager proud.

“So…?” her mother prompted, waiting for answer.

Emma rubbed her face into her hands, massaging her temples.

“Well, you were right,” she muttered. “It was positive.”

A wide smile bloomed across Snow’s face and she did a small little shuffling dance with her feet, bringing her hands up to her face for a moment. As soon as her little dance was done, she moved forward and enveloped Emma in a fierce hug.

“Oh my god, Emma! This is so exciting! Another baby! Wow!”

Emma tried to grin and match her enthusiasm but failed in a spectacular fashion. Her smile was like a broken light bulb; it flickered weakly on her face for a moment before disappearing entirely. She couldn’t find it in herself to pretend to be excited, even for her mother.

Her mother noticed her expression because then her own smile faltered and she looked at Emma in concern.

“You’re not happy about this, are you?”

“I wasn’t planning on having any more kids, Mom. We were supposed to be done. I was supposed to be done. This is my third unplanned kid. What does that say about me?” Emma said, trying to keep her voice from wavering.

“It doesn’t say anything about you, Sweetie. No one needs to know that. Children are blessings. It’s going to be okay. I mean, I can’t imagine Killian getting too upset about it. In fact, I think he will be thrilled,” Snow said gently, rubbing her hand against Emma’s back.

Emma leaned into her mother’s touch, resting her head on Snow’s shoulder. It felt good for once to be mothered, instead of doing the mothering.

Killian’s reaction was the least of Emma’s concerns. There wasn’t anything that Killian Jones loved more than being ‘Dad.’ He loved their little ones fiercely and though he had never said it, Emma was certain that he had wanted more children. He had been gracious and respectful when she said she was done not long after Wes was born, but she had always caught him looking at babies and other small children.

“That’s true,” Emma said with small almost hysterical laugh. “If it were up to him, we would be the Weasleys.”

“See? Everything’s going to be okay. It’s going to be fine. I mean, Killian’s going to be fine with it. The boys are going to be excited. It’s not like you don’t have enough room. I mean you still have three guest bedrooms. And you’ll have more than enough help if you need it. Your father and I are always willing to lend a hand and so is Henry.”

“I know, Mom, I know. I know all of those things. I know it’s not a big deal, but you of all people should know that pregnancy is hard. And if this week has been any indication, this is one is going to be harder than both Harrison and Wes’s pregnancies were, and those weren’t easy pregnancies to begin with. What if I have another giant kid like Harrison or a breach baby like Wes? I’m not sure I can handle it as well as I did when I was thirty-five. I just thought these days were over. The cravings? The dizziness? Sleepless nights? Breastfeeding? I thought it was all over, but here I am. Shit. I’m going to gain all that weight I just lost,” Emma groaned.

“It’s going to be okay,” Snow said again. This time the optimism in her mother’s voice noticeably wavered.

“Maybe, but it’s going to suck. This is the worst morning sickness in the world and it’s only been a week. Whoever labeled it as morning sickness needs to be shot in the face because this isn’t morning sickness, it’s every hour sickness,” Emma exclaimed, banging her head against Snow’s shoulder.

“Well, that’s what happened with me when I had Ruthie remember? I was sick all the time until I hit the second trimester. That tends to happen with girls. I bet all of your father’s sheep that this one is a little princess. We should get your grandmother’s pendant.”

Emma remembered her mother’s surprise pregnancy with her younger sister vividly. It was half the reason that she told Killian that she didn’t want any more children after Wes. She honestly thought that her mother was possessed half the time with how crazy her mood swings got and how quickly she would race to the bathroom.

And now, here she was doing the same thing. Christ.

“Please don’t,” Emma sighed. “Look, you may have already accepted the idea that there’s going to be a third Jones to the crew, but I haven’t. I literally just found out. Let me just process it. Okay?”

“Right, right, sorry. I got ahead of myself there,” Snow replied with a nervous laugh. “What do you want? You feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling…overwhelmed…and still a little nauseous. Right now, I just want to lay on the couch with my mother and watch television.”

“We can do that. We can definitely do that,” Snow replied as she slowly guided them into Emma’s living room.

Emma’s mother stayed for another hour trying to talk Emma into being more excited about the new baby while they curled on the couch with Emma’s head in Snow’s lap. Snow ran her fingers through Emma’s hair as she spoke. While Emma found her mother’s ministrations relaxing, she couldn’t find it in herself to reach the level of overjoyed that her mother was looking for.

It wasn’t that Emma hated the baby. She didn’t. Emma was quite certain that she could never hate anything that was part of her and it wasn’t necessarily the child’s fault. It didn’t ask to exist. However, that didn’t mean that Emma wasn’t disappointed in herself and her lack of responsibility. Aside from that, this pregnancy was already shaping out to be the worst in history. In the past week, she had more fluid purged from every orifice of her body than she had in a lifetime.

When her mother left, Emma’s stomach finally made itself known again. Though she was still nauseous, all she wanted was cucumbers, preferably in the form of sandwiches. She immediately padded into the kitchen, hoping that her mother had bought at least one or two cucumbers on her grocery stop.

There weren’t one or two cucumbers. There were seven. Emma couldn’t believe her luck as she took one of them and began washing it. She hummed a happy tune under her breath as she began slicing the cucumber, occasionally popping a slice into her mouth.

She still felt overwhelmed about the baby, but her mood had been improved by the amount of cucumbers in the refrigerator. She would be able to indulge in her current favorite snack for at least a good few days.

Emma was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the front door open and let out a loud yelp as a pair of arms encircled themselves around her waist. She turned viciously, intending on using the knife in her against her attacker, but stopped when she saw who it was.

“Jesus Christ, Killian! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed, dropping the knife to the floor and shaking her head at him.

Killian merely chuckled.

“Planning on carving me up there, were you Swan?” he asked, still chuckling as he leaned forward and kissed her nose.

Emma scowled at him, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. She was entirely unamused with his teasing.

“Seriously Killian, I could have hurt you,” she replied with a half-hearted glare.

“But you didn’t, Swan, and even if you had, it would have only been a small flesh wound,” Killian replied, hand and prosthetic rising from their placement on her hips to smooth over her shoulders.

“I regret showing you that movie,” Emma muttered under her breath.

“It was quite peculiar, but very enjoyable,” Killian replied, laughter still present in his tone.

Emma rolled her eyes, but squeezed his shoulders affectionately before leaning her head against his chest and taking in the smell of leather and spicy soap. She had always liked the way he smelled, but now it was just shy overwhelming. And now she knew why. Pregnancy had a way of heightening the senses. The mental acknowledgement of her condition made her throat constrict for a moment.

“You feeling any better, love?” Killian asked quietly, gently placing his nose in her hair.

“I’m getting there. At least I have my appetite back. I was going to make myself a cucumber sandwich,” Emma murmured, closing her eyes.

“Why don’t you go sit and I’ll make it for you, love?”

Emma opened her eyes, scrunching her nose at the suggestion. She lightly pushed against his chest so that she could meet his eyes.

“I can make my own sandwich, Killian,” she replied a little sternly.

“I know you can,” he replied, taking her hand in his own and running his thumb affectionately across her wedding ring. “But sometimes a man just wants to do something nice for his wife, especially when she hasn’t been feeling the best. Just let me do this.”

“Fine, fine,” Emma said with a heavy sigh, putting her hands up. “If it makes you happy, you can make me the damn sandwich.”

“Thanks, love. Now go sit,” Killian chuckled, kissing her another kiss this time on the forehead.

Emma rolled her eyes again, pulling away fully this time to take a seat at the dinner table where the crackers and the two mugs of ginger tea had been left forgotten. She picked up her mug again and took another sip. The tea was cold, but for some reason, Emma found it more bearable.

“That doesn’t look like hot chocolate. What are you drinking there, Swan?”  Killian asked, taking the knife off the floor and putting it into the sink.

“Ginger tea,” Emma sighed. “Mom made it for me to help me stop throwing up. Not much of a tea person, but it kinda helps.”

“I’m glad she stopped over. We were getting a bit low on food. I think the boys were going to stage a mutiny if they had to eat another dinner of macaroni and cheese and hot dogs.”

Emma blinked.

“You fed our sons nothing but mac ’n’ cheese and hot dogs for the past few days? Seriously Killian?” Emma asked incredulously.

“You were sick and I didn’t have time to go shopping, love. I mean with patrol, fielding all the complaints, dealing with Regina, the boys, cleaning the house, making sure you were alive and everything. I’m a good captain, but I’m not that good, Swan,” Killian replied with a shrug.

“Killian Jones admitting he can’t do everything. Now that is something I never thought I would hear,” Emma replied with a small chuckle.

“Stranger things have happened,” Killian replied easily, popping a piece of cucumber in his mouth.

Emma’s eyes zeroed in on the cucumber slice and a wave of possessiveness came over her. A part of her wanted to get up take all the slices away from him and hoard them. She gave him a hard stare.

“If you keep eating them, there isn’t going to be any left for me,” she said pointedly.

“Sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking. I should have known better by now to get between you and your food.”

“Damn straight,” Emma replied. “And if you’re having trouble remembering things, remember that I like the bread”- “You like your bread extra toasted and you use cream cheese instead of mayonnaise with the cucumbers. A little bit of butter, garlic salt and pepper. Crust cut off,” Killian interrupted her, giving her a knowing look over his shoulder.

Emma blinked.

“I’m actually kinda impressed you remember my weird sandwich choices.”

“I’m not,” Killian said casually. “I’ve made you loads of these before. All you ate when you were pregnant with Wes was things with cucumbers or Indian food. Same with Harrison too.”

All the blood rushed from Emma’s face for the second time. Killian knew. How the hell did he know? She had only known for a few hours. She dropped the mug from her hands.

“You know,” she breathed.

Killian stopped cutting.

“I suspected hence why I asked your mother to buy so many cucumbers. I mean we ordered Indian from Mowgli’s three times last week and you’ve been going through cucumbers like water…and there were other things. Though, I’m still waiting on a confirmation…from you.”

Emma got up from her chair and cautiously approached him, wrapping her arms around his chest and leaning her head against his shoulder blades. His hand found one of her hands, took it and interlaced their fingers. He gave it a good squeeze and Emma closed her eyes.

“How long have you suspected?” she asked quietly.

“For a week and a half. That night when you won’t let me touch your breasts because they hurt. You said it was the pill changing, but it was a niggling thought in the back of my mind. Then it was the Indian food. And the cucumbers. Then you got so ill this week. I was pretty certain, but I didn’t want to say anything until you felt comfortable telling me. I thought you might have needed some time to process it considering the little happy dance you did when you stopped breastfeeding Wes.”

An unnamed emotion welled up inside of Emma at his words and she tried to shut her eyes tighter against the threat of tears. She honestly hated crying and she knew it was the hormones, but for some reason it made it that much worse.

Killian seemed to sense her change in mood because he let go of her hand and turned so that they were facing each other. He wrapped his blunted arm around her waist and brought his only hand up to brush against her cheek. He placed a kiss on her forehead again and gathered her against his chest. She placed her head over his heart, listening to it beat.

“Hey…it’s okay…it’s going to be okay,” he murmured into her hair. “We’re quite the team, Swan. We can handle anything. This isn’t something to be afraid of.”

“I’m not afraid…It’s just…Killian, do you know when I found out? I found out today. As in a few hours ago, my mother made me take a pregnancy test. I didn’t think even about it. You and my mother suspected before I even did. We didn’t plan this and I didn’t even know and I just feel like I don’t even know my own body right now.”

“Hey…” Killian said softly, rubbing her back. “You need to give yourself a break, love. I’m not surprised you didn’t notice. You have a million things going on at once. You’re the Savior and you’re the Sheriff. And you’re also mother to three boys, two of them being little ones and one in college. With how much stress you put on yourself, it’s no wonder you didn’t see what you didn’t want to see. Be easy on yourself, love. It’s going to be okay.”

“You make it sound so easy,” she murmured, closing her eyes again.

“Because it is. It’s you and me, love. Finding the sun and all that. Now, we’ve been beating around the bush. You have some news for me and I want to hear what it is.” Killian’s voice was but a low murmur.

Emma’s breath hitched. She had acknowledged the reality, but she hadn’t said those two words aloud.

“Killian…” she started, licking her cracked lips. “I know I said we were done with kids and we totally didn’t plan this at all, but I’m pregnant. We’re got another little pirate on the way.”

Killian brought both his hand and prosthetic up to Emma’s cheeks and tilted her head up so that he could capture her lips in kiss that was borderline rough in its intensity. When he broke it, he brushed his nose against hers and Emma couldn’t help but smile a bit. Despite her reservations and anxiety about the situation, Killian’s obvious excitement was infectious in a way that her mother’s hadn’t been.

“Oh my god, you’re such a man. You’re totally crowing right now that you did this to me. Feel real proud of yourself, don’t you?” Emma said, hitting his shoulder.

“Nothing wrong with children, Swan. Planned or not,” Killian replied, placing another kiss on her hairline.

“Says you. You’re not the one who has be pregnant,” Emma groaned. “If this week is any indication. This pregnancy is going to suck.”

“Maybe, but I will be with you every step of the way and who knows, we might end up with a little pretty blonde girl and green eyes who looks just like Mummy,” Killian said with another kiss.

Emma nearly snorted aloud. Killian had been vying for a little girl from the beginning. It wasn’t that he was disappointed with the boys, but he was just something that he had always wanted. A part of Emma hoped this new one was a girl for his sake, though all she seemed to pop out was boys who looked exactly like their fathers.

“Mom thinks this one is going to be a girl, but girl or not, this one is definitely the last one. I swear, I’m going to get my tubes tied after this one is out,” Emma said,

“You said the same thing after Wes,” Killian chuckled.

“I’m serious this time,” Emma said. “I’m not turning into Mrs. Weasley, Killian.”

“Hey now,” Killian tutted. “There is nothing wrong with Mrs. Weasley. She had a great family, was the ultimate mother and the ultimate witch. She took down Bellatrix LeStrange and that is no small feat. She’s a true hero. Right after Sirius Black and Hagrid of course.”

Emma shook her head, trying hard not to laugh.

“I married a dork. An absolute dork.”

“Those books are fantastic, Swan, and I’ve read a lot of great books in my day. I can’t wait until the little ones are old enough to read them, including this one,” he replied, bringing his hand down and placing it against her still flat abdomen.

“You’re really okay with this, aren’t you?”

“I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again, Swan, there’s nothing I love more than raising kids with you and I will be happy with whatever number you give me whether it be two, three or four…” he replied, giving her kiss just above her ear.

“Four? No way. That’s just being…” Emma trailed, trying to find the right words.

“Visionary?” Killian prompted.

Emma snorted.

“Or something.”

[fromtheringapron]

Observations from ‘92 WWF Episodes of Superstars

After years of demand, the WWE Network has finally uploaded episodes of WWF Superstars, although not without a catch. They can’t yet upload any episodes before April 18, 1992, which is when the show’s named was shortened from Superstars of Wrestling to simply Superstars due to some legal wrangling over the “Of Wrestling” part. This date also happens to be just a couple of weeks after I was born, so please begin your conspiracy theories on how these two events are somehow related.

Regardless of the controversy, these episodes are a blast. Each hour is packed with the perfect amount of nostalgia and leaves you wanting more. Wrestling on Saturday mornings as a concept may seem like a such strange one to audiences in 2019, but there’s so much to these episodes that three-hour Monday Night Raws can certainly learn from. It’s also a nice glimpse into what the WWF was like in 1992, which was just as much a transitional year on-screen as it were a tumultuous one off of it. Allegations of steroids and sex abuse had damaged the WWF’s public image, familiar faces who’d been on the roster for the past several years were beginning to disappear seemingly by the week, and the wrestling business in general had entered a recession. Perhaps the biggest game-changer was the absence of Hulk Hogan, which caused Vince McMahon to start shifting focus to the likes of Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels.  

I’ve been breezing on through these episodes as of late. They’re a sweet treat that goes down easy, like a tube of mini M&M’s. I’m up to July 1992 in my binge watch, and here’s the most notable stuff from them so far:

The WBF and Grade-A Beef

The first few months of episodes on the Network are stuffed with Vince hyping his failed venture into bodybuilding, the World Bodybuilding Federation. He can’t stop talking about the weekly show WBF Bodystars, the WBF magazine, and the upcoming the WBF pay-per-view special (which turned out to be a commercial dud and ultimately spelt the end for the organization). Worst of all, he refers to both his wrestlers and bodybuilders as “100% Grade-A Beef” which makes me vomit just thinking about it. Note to anyone: referring to any appendage on your body as any sort of meat is disgusting. Seriously, I get grossed out when dudes on Grindr refer to their piece as “beef.” It’s just not a good look. Interestingly enough, a few of the articles in the WBF magazine talk about the dangers of steroids, which feels like Vince desperately trying to deflect attention of himself. This also marks the beginning of the ICOPRO era and to be honest, all these years later, I still don’t know what the fuck Vince was thinking if he believed the kids in the audience would’ve cared about creatine.

Unscripted Promos

Each episode features cuts to the Event Center hosted by Sean Mooney, where the superstars give promos on their feuds, grudges, house show programs, plans to challenge Bush Sr. and Clinton in the presidential election, etc. The magic of these promos, outside of the excellent characterized green-screen backgrounds, is how unscripted and ad-libbed they are. In a time where superstars are now force fed lines from TV writers, there’s something about this approach that feels so refreshing in contrast. Truthfully, a lot of what comes out of these guys’ mouths is nonsense but, in a way, that’s precisely why it comes off more realistic. If a reporter held a mic to Tom Brady right after his umpteenth Super Bowl win, chances are that he’s not gonna give this five-star, ultra-rehearsed promo. He’ll probably ramble on a bit, give a vaguely satisfying answer, and move on. The characters and storylines are still campy as hell, but still feels like something within the realm of real-time sports. That’s exactly how this era works best.

The Fan Reaction Shots Are Everything

These episodes also unintentionally serve as audiovisual evidence of what human beings in 1992 looked like, in case you didn’t know. As with anything in the early ‘90s, there’s a lot in terms of fashion that still makes everything look like the ‘80s. The hair is still pretty big and teased out, the neon is bright and unrelenting, and you’re bound to find a few dads in the crowd with some pretty thick mustaches (and if there’s isn’t a mustache, you can except some thick-rimmed glasses instead). Crowd reaction shots are an underrated aspect of getting an angle or character to over to the audience. A more modern example would be that shocked, hapless Edvar Munch painting of a man when the Undertaker lost at WrestleMania 30. Here is no exception. I particularly love the shots of terrified children when Papa Shango walks down the aisle, most notably an adorable little red-headed child who looks like he just saw a ghost.  

Cartoon Violence! Cartoon Violence Everywhere!

At some point during the early ‘90s, the WWF had successfully captured the feel of a darkly humorous comic book, and these episodes boast plenty of it. The Berzerker tries to stab The Undertaker with a viking sword! Rick Martel stealing Tatanka’s feathers and blinding him with cologne! The Repo Man hanging the British Bulldog! The Mountie shocking Sgt. Slaughter with a jumbo-sized shock stick! What makes these angles so fun is that they’re completely ridiculous yet manage to stay true to the characters. Of course The Repo Man wouldn’t just use a steel chair or any other ringside weapon on the Bulldog. Of course The Model would try to maim Tatanka while also promoting his signature fragrance. Sure, Lou Thesz wouldn’t have liked it, but you can’t deny it sells the characters to the audience pretty well.

The Papa Shango/The Ultimate Warrior Saga

 And speaking of a darkly humorous comic book, the Papa Shango/Ultimate Warrior feud is perhaps the most infamous of this particular era in Looney Tunes hijinks. As you may know, this involved Shango putting a curse on the Warrior, which later caused the Warrior to spew green vomit Exorcist-style and have black goo drip out of his head. A visual feast, indeed. The craziest part is that none of this resulted in a huge blowoff on TV, which would be considered a cardinal sin in today’s climate. It was instead used to promote house matches between the two. Maybe they thought people in Fort Wayne, Indiana or wherever the fuck would attend their shows hoping Warrior would puke all over them? I don’t know, but I can’t help but the feel all of this was supposed to be some sort of artistic statement. Was this commentary on our collective ennui? A hard look at the appropriation of Haitian voodoo in pop culture? An obscure nod to the then-recent fall of the Soviet Union? Send me your thesis papers, grad students!

The Big Bossman Deserved to Get His Ass Kicked

The Bossman/Nailz feud has aged poorly. It was easier for viewers to gobble up the narrative the WWF were trying to sell back in 1992 but we, in 2019, know better due to the shift in rhetoric surrounding law enforcement and the abuse of power that system can often breed. If you’re not familiar, promos began to air in the spring of ’92 where a mysterious voice accused the Big Bossman of abusing him when he was in prison. The man later turned out to be Nailz, who then attacked the Bossman on an episode of Superstars and gave him an absolutely brutal thrashing. 

And the Bossman deserved it. You see, for as much as Vince McMahon tried selling the Bossman’s innocence, there’s plenty of evidence supporting Nailz’ allegations. From day 1 of his WWF tenure, the Bossman loved to beat poor, defenseless jobbers with his nightstick and handcuff them to the ropes, even when he turned into a happy, smiley babyface. In fact, right before Nailz beats him up, he can be seen taking his anger out on a barely conscious jobber. It’s not that much of a stretch to believe he did the same to several of his inmates in Cobb County. And don’t even get me started on the Confederate flag on the Bossman’s sleeve, or else this post will take a seriously dark turn on the extent of his brutality and prejudice. When you consider all of that, is there any surprise this is the same man who killed Al Snow’s dog and crashed the funeral for Big Show’s dad later in the Attitude Era?

The Tornado’s Last Spin 

I hate to discuss an even darker topic, but I was so stricken by how these episodes are essentially some of the last recorded moments of Kerry Von Erich’s career and, ultimately, his life. It’s often forgotten that he lingered on in the WWF until August of ’92. He was arrested for forging painkiller prescriptions in February, which led to his suspension from the company. He made his return to the ring two months later and would toil around on the undercard for the next four months before leaving/getting released altogether. It’s next-level tragic to watch him cut promos on repurposing his life toward God and his family, knowing he’s making allusions to all the trouble he’s found himself in. It’s even sadder knowing how much more trouble he’d find himself in before his untimely death, including a possible prison sentence that, had he served fully, wouldn’t have seen him released just a few years ago. 

The Jobbers Are Ugly

This is going to sound mean, but the jobbers on these shows are not attractive men. I mean, seriously, some of these dudes look like they just got off their shift at the local liquor store before they hit the arena for their scheduled thrashing. I do wonder how much of this was a deliberate choice by the bookers themselves. You need guys who are going to make Nailz and Sgt. Slaughter look appealing by comparison because that only enhances their star power. The lone exception to this rule is Ron Cumberledge, who would be classified as a hunk in any decade. A true renaissance journey man.

Squash Matches Galore

Even if you’re only slightly familiar with the WWF’s old syndicated weekend shows, you’d know most of the matches were these quick squashes where a superstar would easily trounce one of the jobbers I discussed previously. Matches between name superstars would only happen occasionally on TV, as it this was still an era where those were kept to draw buys to pay-per-views and house shows. While it would be highly unrealistic for the WWE to just revert back to them 100%, and they still do them on the main roster occasionally, it’s definitely something they’d benefit using more. And don’t just give your top talent squares either. In these episodes, Virgil gets squash matches. The Bushwhackers get squash matches. Repo Man gets squash matches. Obviously none of these guys were key players or anything, but it still gave them TV time and wins under their belt. Imagine if they did that today for, like, No Way Jose or Dana Brooke. It doesn’t seem like much, but it goes a long way in building credibility to your roster.

So that’s that. Or at least for now, anyway. I’ve still got plenty more episodes to watch for 1992, and who knows? Maybe in the future the Network will upload episodes from 1993, 1994, and so on. In the meantime, I’ll go back to chilling out, binge-watching, and daydreaming about Ron Cumberledge.