#haunted dice guy

[bogkeep]

fancy a roll?

[Haunted Dice Guy from episode 9 of the magnus protocol]

[arcaneyouth]

autism moment

[imaginaryskeleton]

Guy from tmagp 9 is so relatable because if I got haunted dice I would also dress like a wizard about it

[nihiltism]

let's hear about poor That Guy

ok so prefacing by saying that all of the events that befall my poor dnd character today have the rough comedic timing of This Video.

that's a good sign. anyway our team gets ambushed by goblins, this is our second actual combat encounter.

we all roll initiative. that guy gets a Two.

because they do not have time to distance themself (they are a ranged fighter generally) the closest goblin hits them with OVER HALF THEIR HP.

they distance themself and try to fire back. MISS with a fucking. 12. best roll that session.

their next turn they use arcane weapon to give their pistol a buff and roll to fire. They Roll A One.

this guy's pistol misfires, blowing up Straight In Their Face for not only 1d10 (+2!) piercing but ALSO 1d6 lightning damage from the spell they just fucking used. killing them instantly (they were fine)

god. bless.

[scwheeler]

— isn’t it delicate?

luke castellan x fem!reader

warnings: a little bit of fighting

summary: how did game night turn into your first kiss with the boy you’ve been crushing on at camp?

a/n: it’s kind of all over the place and i didn’t proofread it so i apologize ahead of time!

this ain't for the best

across the dim-lit cabin eleven, luke could still spot your twinkling eyes that were attracted to the dice rolling in front of you. the euphonious laughter coming from your lips sounded like music to his ears. how your head slowly tilted backwards before catching your balance and opening your mouth once again.

my reputation's never been worse, so

he thanked the “gods” that your cabin agreed to game night as he was almost begging on his knees to your half-siblings that it was a once-in-a-summer experience and they would miss out.

he wasn’t lying, with the stoll twins creating a game tournament behind the little white lie that hermes cabin was just introducing the newbies to fun sleepovers for bonding and friend making, to keep chiron happy and out of their business.

you must like me for me

lounging around in his cabin, trying to take his mind off of the possibility of your cabin, more importantly, you entering the door, luke was making everyone’s beds. as an annoying chore that all the campers avoided, they dared not to interfere or ask him why he was rapidly fluffing pillows and folding blankets.

we can't make

but as his best friend, chris put a hand on his shoulder and spun him around. “you can calm down y’know. it’s only like—six o’clock only.” he pointed to the clock above the treacherously haunting front door. luke sighed and sat down on one of the beds, running his hands through his dark curls.

any promises now, can we, babe?

“but this was the perfect opportunity!” he suddenly exclaimed but quickly lowered his voice once surrounding campers looked at him.

“perfect opportunity to do what exactly? you’ve talked to her like twice—at a max three if you count her saying hi to you this morning.” chris reminded and sat beside the sulking boy. he yet again put a hand on his shoulder, giving a little reassuring pat.

but you can make me a drink

luke faced his best friend to respond but there was a knock at the door that interrupted him. chris thanked whoever it was, or else he would’ve had to witness luke spiral and start his crazy overthinking. a camper near the door went to go reach for the handle but a loud voice stopped him.

“wait! i-i’ll get it!” luke jumped from his seat, giving chris a scare.

dive bar on the east side, where you at?

he rushed to the door as the startled camper now backed away, obviously not wanting to go against the cabin counselor. before turning the handle, he took a deep breath and slightly adjusted his hair. chris mentally cringed at the sight of his best friend being so nervous, yet it was quite funny.

phone lights up my nightstand in the black

mr. cool guy, head counselor, and ‘best swordsman’ at camp was nervous about whether a cabin accepted his proposal of joining hermes’ cabin for a night of monopoly and poker. yes, possibly hilarious even. stifling a laugh, he watched luke open the door with a resounding sense of false confidence.

around ten to twenty campers of all ages were standing in front of him with pillows, blankets, and snacks in hand. for a moment, he was frozen.

come here, you can meet me in the back

not in fright, he’d seen most of these kids wincing on the ground during sword training or fall of the rock wall mid climb, he was the one teaching and catching them.

he was stunned because you weren’t in sight.

“welcome! you guys can chill and relax, meet your friends, and start on games! luke and i will be there in a bit!” someone announced from behind him, alarming just a little. but he easily recognized the voice of his best friend saving his ass.

dark jeans and your nikes, look at you

the excitedly hyper campers burst into the cabin, amping up the noise a couple levels. while they were coming in, luke was stuck in a trance once more but not cause of jitters or worry but because of you and your mere presence.

oh damn, never seen that color blue

as the campers of your cabin were entering the blaring room, you found luke’s eyes. softening your expression, you smiled at the familiar face.

dazed, luke stood straight until chris nudged his side and returned to attending to the campers as promised. leaving the two of you alone and the lack of luke’s acknowledgement of your existence, you decided to clear the awkward air.

just think of the fun things we could do

(cause i like you)

“hey luke.” maintaining your sweet demeanor, you closed the door behind you from letting in more of the cool summer air into the warm cabin.

this ain't for the best

as if someone snapped their fingers, luke blinked and returned to reality. his chest rose while he took another deep breath to calm himself and returned your smile.

“y/n, you came!” he regretted his choice of words and tone the second it came out of his mouth. gritting his teeth, he swore to let you do most of the talking from now on.

my reputation's never been worse, so

“of course i did! i’m known as the ‘monopoly master’ so you know i just had to come to defend my honor.” you emphasized the ‘had’ but deep down you knew it was a simple yes or no question when your cabin asked if you wanted to go. as cabin counselor, you were supposed to always keep an eye on the campers but it was just one night anyway.

you must like me for me (yeah, i want you)

you debated it in your head, did you really want to leave your cozy bed next to your best friends to play some board games with chaotic and overexcited children who were some of the worst sore losers you’ve ever encountered? no.

we can't make

but before you could refuse, your best friend stepped in. in a sing-songy voice, she added a detail that may have swayed your decision making just an inch.

any promises now, can we, babe?

“hermes cabin is hosting it—aka castellan’s cabin.” she smiled at her comment and crossed her eyes with both eyebrows raised. waiting for your answer, you bit your lip and looked to the floor.

okay, so spending your night with campers full of sugar and crying sore losers but luke castellan possibly sparing you a glance and perhaps maybe even a few words? fine, you’d make an appearance.

but you can make me a drink

now here you were, both of your maybes becoming certainly’s. your words were coming out quickly, way faster than you wanted them to. were you rambling? no. yes. no. definitely.

is it cool that i said all that?

why in the heavens did you just say ‘monopoly master’?! why was he not speaking? was he just being friendly by saying hi? of course he was.

is it chill that you're in my head?

you looked away in search of your friends or anyone at this point to make this conservation a little less awkward. but everyone was already sitting and playing games or conversing with each other. you cursed your head for telling you to come, how did you possibly think that he would talk to yo—

a laugh.

he was laughing with the brightest smile ever, his eyes still remaining on yours though. he had one of those contagious laughs, immediately urging you to join him. you couldn’t help yourself but follow, making the both of you look like two crazy idiots laughing at nothing but air.

'cause i know that it's delicate (delicate)

“well i think we better see if your honor will be challenged later tonight, miss ‘monopoly master’” he replied and gave a light-hearted grin.

you could’ve sworn that your heart just fluttered and there was something flying in your stomach. catching your breath, you walked towards the laid out board games where luke was right on your tail. his footsteps were only inches from yours, wanting to be close to you as possible.

is it cool that i said all that?

now luke was admiring your laugh once again. someone would’ve had to drag him with all their strength out of that cabin before his eyes were peeled off of you.

unbeknownst to you, he had been staring ever since the game had began. opting out of this round, he joined chris’ team mid game but remained quiet the rest of the time.

is it too soon to do this yet?

you couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t speaking. he was usually peppy and very talkative, so you’ve heard and seen, but never really experienced. luke was very popular in every group, with the kids who saw him as a role model, those who saw him as their fearless counselor, and especially the girls who fawned over him and his every move (you).

'cause i know that it's delicate

so why was the socially favored extrovert sitting still, fiddling his thumbs from time to time. keeping your head in the game, you could only look up whenever it was chris’ turn, using it as an excuse to peek at him who was almost like a shadow.

isn’t it, isn't it, isn't it?

with such little lighting, only his facial features were highlighted from the candle next to luke. you didn’t mind though as his sharp nose, faint scar and rare flash of a smile were still in view.

isn’t it?

suddenly there was a furious roar of thunder outside, enough to get your attention. you felt an elbow nudge you to the right, making you turn to face your best friend next to you. she leaned in, making sure no one except you heard her whisper.

“are you gonna to go or just keep drooling and dreaming about your boy?”

isn’t it, isn't it, isn't it?

only your eyes widened, now staring back at your friend, dumbfounded. she gave you a ‘stop making it obvious and go!’ look and you kept your eyes down, on the monopoly board. grabbing the two dice and rolling for your turn, you moved your piece and unfortunately landed on a space that chris occupied.

isn’t it delicate?

you groaned in both not wanting to lose and the inconvenience that the universe continued to hand you. however, chris was everything but disappointed, two seconds away from jumping up and down in excitement. you had somehow avoided getting caught in someone else’s city for about ten turns in a row, but now you were stuck by the person you were actually avoiding.

or at least his team member’s.

third floor on the west side, me and you

paying in full to a happy chris, you didn’t catch luke’s chuckle at your expense. not in a ‘ha ha we’re going to win’ way but because of how upset you truly looked. he thought it was cute how badly you wanted to strangle chris for costing you six-hundred million and potentially the win.

“seems like your winning streak is coming to an end!” chris implied and put his hands together as if he was thanking you.

handsome, you're a mansion with a view

you narrowed your eyes, just adding fuel to the fire of your competitive nature. for gods sake, you were an ares kid. tonight, it sure didn’t seem like it though. with your stumbling introduction and now your downfall in monopoly!

“what is the meaning of this!”

everyone collectively jumped and stopped what they were doing, no matter if it was playing cards, a pillow fight, shoving candies in their mouths, or jumping on the beds. even without turning, the voice was evident in its owner: mr. d.

do the girls back home touch you like i do?

“i want everyone in their cabins now! ares cabin return and go to bed right this instance. i will check to see if you are all there, with the lights off soon.” he demanded in a stern voice, forcing your cabin to rapidly grab their belongings and run out the door, unable to even say their ‘goodbye’s.’

long night with your hands up in my hair

“hermes cabin, i want you all to clean this mess up in no more than an hour. i will also come to check that this place is tidy as earlier and that you are all in bed, sleeping. all of you will receive punishments tomorrow morning at six am in the mess hall. do not be late.” he continued, but the last of words left campers moaning and muttering in defeat.

echoes of your footsteps on the stairs

you were collecting your campers and pushing them towards the exit, about to do the same yourself until chiron interfered.

“not you, ms. y/l/n.”

slowly turning to look up in confusion, he continued. “as head counselor of ares cabin, you know the responsibility you earn with that title, correct?”

stay here, honey, i don't wanna share

putting your head down, you avoided his eye contact but nodded. you caught one of the last campers and told them to do as they were told and you would be back soon.

“mr. castellan, i want to speak to you as well.” he insisted and luke reluctantly made his way next to you. something he would never refuse to.

this ain't for the best

“i’m very disappointed in the both of you. knowing both of you were the head counselors of your cabins, i thought you would do the best in keeping them in order and avoiding such events but i was clearly mistaken. c’mon guys, there are only like five major camp rules!” he explained, putting his fingers to his temples and crossing his eyes.

my reputation's never been worse, so

briefly giving each other glances, you mouthed ‘we’re so screwed’ to luke who seemed very relaxed compared to your tense figure. sure, you’d gotten in trouble maybe once or twice but first of all, that was trouble by yourself which meant not costing your entire cabin punishment and it was very unintentionally, making mr. d let you off the hook since it was your first offense.

you must like me for me (yeah, i want you)

however, those were the only times you had ever been caught. there were countless times where you had secretly broken the rules by sleeping in your other friends’ cabins, entering the forest by yourself, switching your seat during meals, and staying in your cabin past eleven at night. one that you have broken yet again.

in response to your nervousness, luke smirked.

we can't make

‘why the hell are you smiling?’ you mouthed but he looked at mr. d now, quite mischievously if you may add.

“mr. d, we terribly apologize for the inconvenience and we swear to never do this ever again, this will be the first and only time.” luke spoke with such sincerity in his tone. he only prayed that mr. d could not detect his lie of it being his first to host.

any promises now, can we, babe?

“well thank you luke, but you two are stil—”

“we are so sorry that we thought it would be best if we made it up to you. perhaps that bottle of 1985 château haut-brion in the galley that has been calling your name ever since it arrived?” luke swiftly suggested, eyebrows raised in persuasion.

but you can make me a drink

mr. d stood invested in luke every word, deeply interested in his statement. he took a breath, almost coming to a realization that luke was trying to bribe him but then he put his index finger to his finger, actually thinking about the offer.

is it cool that i said all that?

you were shocked, in the least. luke castellan was not only a troublemaker and a liar but a hell of a good one. in any of other circumstance, you would be hesitant about bringing up such a suggestion to mr. d but if it meant no punishment for you or luke then you were all for it.

is it chill that you're in my head?

“mr. d, when was the last time you’ve had wine? c’mon you and i both know that diet coke won’t cut it for tonight, i mean it’s friday night!” you stepped in and added in on the coercion.

following your voice, mr. d’s head whipped to face you, definitely tipping the scale towards a ‘yes’ now. luke watched proud at you chasing his suggestion, now with full confidence in his chest.

'cause i know that it's delicate (delicate)

“are two seriously saying that you guys would go down to the galley…get that merlot…and bring it back here to me…?” he repeated and narrowed his eyes.

for a second, you guys were back into your frozen positions until mr. d responded to himself. “cause if you guys are going to do that, then we can just forget about all this.” he admitted, sort of laughing at the mess around the cabin.

is it cool that i said all that?

after agreeing to your end of the bargain, mr. d had let you both off the hook. by the time everything was settled, the campers had finished cleaning up and everyone was ready for bed. therefore, in order to not disturb them, the two of you took a moment outside before you had to run back to ares cabin.

is it too soon to do this yet?

the cabin luckily had an overhead covering near the front door, creating a safety net for you two from the rain. it was raining heavy, yet it wasn’t cold and the summer air still remained. it always rained on the first week of august, like a set reminder to the campers that time was slipping away.

'cause i know that it's delicate

both of you were already slightly drenched from running to the galley and back but using the trees and several camp buildings on the way, you managed to stay quite dry. you couldn’t say the same for luke though, he shook his wet hair to dry off, in search and need of a towel.

“jesus—you’re acting like a wet dog.” you commented and kept moving your head to dodge the water droplets flicking in your direction. trying to maintain a straight face, you kept a tight-lipped smile but laughs slipped from your lips.

isn’t it, isn't it, isn't it?

“why you don’t like it? you’re getting a free shower right now, i think you should be grateful!”

his sarcasm was abundant and stepped closer to you while matching your laughter. you backed up into the outer cabin wall, as he continued to approach until he was only inches away from your face. even with the rain surrounding the pair, you could hear his breathing after his laughs.

isn’t it?

he stayed with a smile on his face, such admiration found in his eyes while staring at you. automatically there was a tug on the corners of your lips, a genuine smile creeping onto your face. he gently moved a strand of hair out of your face, placing it behind your ear.

isn’t it, isn't it, isn't it?

you stayed put, reaching out to the wall supporting your weight. your heart sped up as he got closer, feeling his body heat on yours. you parted your lips to speak but he beat you to it.

“you’re beautiful.”

isn’t it delicate?

his words melted into you, the only warmth in the middle of the rain. you blinked three times before confirming that this was reality, it wasn’t a dream or a fantasy, it was real.

luke castellan had just called you beautiful. the man you were crushing over since he’d pinned you on the ground in capture the flag last year.

sometimes i wonder, when you sleep

no one had ever dared to come near you, too much in fear how old easily you could defeat them. but luke liked a challenge, thus he went straight for it and ignored the rest of plan. something he would definitely pay for later by a pissed annabeth.

he found you in the middle of the forest, the closest person to guarding your team’s flag. he had battled a couple of rouge kids on the way, effortlessly blocking and knocking them down.

are you ever dreaming of me?

he took pride in his swordsmanship and ability to fight, when he first arrived, all he would do was train and practice, day and night.

all of it paid off though in the end, earning the title of ‘best swordsman at camp’ and being quite the deal when it came to activities like capture the flag. however, campers still came at luke, sword in hand. while you were all alone, the only thing accompanying you being the geckos that slithered in the area.

sometimes when i look into your eyes

as a child of ares, you most definitely had a temper, but otherwise you were known to be one of the more ‘composed’ siblings unlike clarisse who would fight a bug that got in her way. you stood out because of your swordsman skills though, climbing up the ranking until you were right below luke.

on the day of capture the flag, you swore that you would beat him and then steal the title he so proudly wore. but when he did arrive to your position near the flag, he didn’t cower in fear or come straight charging at you.

i pretend you're mine all the damn time

instead he casually walked towards you, sword in hand of course but he didn’t even hold it up. he held it like some sort of an accessory, as if he’d never held one before. almost excited to see a person after hours of waiting though, you instantly jumped at the opportunity, discarding his relaxed posture.

is it cool that i said all that?

gripping your sword, you charged first, something you usually did not do but the greed in achieving the title made you think otherwise. he bested you though, eventually proving himself to you why he was known as the ‘best swordsman at camp.’ he ran off with the flag while you were left with a gash on your right arm.

is it chill that you're in my head?

even though after his team won the game and luke had beat you at your most respected trait, he immediately approached you afterwards. this time, he wasn’t holding a sword or wearing armor but just his camp shirt and cheery demeanor. you could’ve bet that it wasn’t him and a completely different camper.

“hey, i’m really sorry about what happened back there. is your arm okay?” he asked, now with worry in his voice like he was one of your close friends or half-siblings.

'cause i know that it's delicate (delicate)

you looked at him weird, confused at the sudden switch-up in his actions. “y-yeah i’m fine.” you responded and looked to join your half-siblings in plotting some devious revenge or something.

but he grabbed your wrist, making sure to not hold the wrong arm. “are you sure? i can walk you to the nurse if you want?” he insisted and pointed to the infirmary that was just down the path.

(yeah, i want you)

“seriously i’m fine.” you continued. it wasn’t like you hated the guy but for someone who just swung a sword at your face and cut your arm, he was surprisingly considerate.

“oh—okay. you were really good out there, i’ve never met anyone else at camp who had their sword so close to my neck.” he joked, attempting to clear the seriously awkward air.

is it cool that i said all that?

you have him a half smile, trying to take his off in lightening the mood. “thanks, i can clearly see why you’re the ‘best swordsman at camp.’” to which he lightly chuckled.

“yeah yeah, but i think you might take that title from me next time!” he mentioned. you couldn’t even tell if he was being sarcastic or not, too distracted with his charming smile.

is it too soon to do this yet?

after that day, luke castellan had been stuck in your mind. you’d see him in the mess hall during meals and passing on campus with his friends, but you never got the courage to talk to him again like you did after capture the flag. maybe it was because you were so annoyed and he just happened to be the first person you ran into! whatever it was, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. no matter what.

'cause i know that it's delicate (delicate)

under similar circumstances, luke watched you quickly dismiss his offer of accompanying you to the nurse and walk off to join the ares kids. you looked back once, probably to see if he was watching you or not and he easily got caught, his eyes lingering. once being noticed, the ares kids started laughing but so did you.

is it cool that i said all that? (isn’t it?)

even though they were clearly laughing at him, for once he didn’t mind it. he couldn’t even see the other kids as you were the only one in view. your hair swaying in the wind as your head moved back and forth. your laugh was sweet, putting a smile on his face as it continued.

is it chill that you're in my head? (isn’t it, isn't it?)

afterwards, he found his eyes attracted to you. if you were at the arts and crafts table or in the archery range, he wasn’t focused on the task at hand or his campers asking a million questions.

he would use his head counselor advantages to sneak glances at you across the field from time to time. pretending to look for a ‘missing’ camper or informing his friends that he thought there was a rare bird sighting, his gaze fixated on you.

'cause i know that it's delicate (isn't it delicate?)

your eyes twinkled in the faded moonlight, water drops laying on your eyelashes. luke’s damp hair aided his curls, his fresh scent seeping through the rain. he reached for your waist as you went for his shoulder, closing the gap between you two.

shutting your eyes, you went for it.

your whispered, unsteady breath indicated your nervousness but it was now or never. luke’s arms curled around your waist, pulling you in completely until your lips met. your hands unconsciously wrapped around his neck, embracing the kiss.

(yeah, i want you)

if you both weren’t holding onto each other, your knees may have buckled right then and there. luke’s chest was pounding, almost loud enough to hear but was too invested in how the other tasted. his lips were soft, a delicate touch that matched his behavior. even with luke’s certainly intimidating figure, he was always sweet and made sure to show his caring abilities towards campers. this was the first time that you felt it firsthand.

is it cool that I said all that? (isn’t it?)

he could tell you were hesitant at first, suddenly pulling slightly away in the beginning but becoming familiar with the feeling. a fire was lit in the pit of your stomach, signaling you to continue. luke could feel it too, your body reaching for his.

now breathless, both of you pulled back, still your hands remaining where they were. his eyes were wide as if you had opened a new world to him. you couldn’t help it but swallow, waiting for him to break the silence.

is it too soon to do this yet? (isn’t it, isn't it?)

“i like you. a lot.”

a little startled, you were left speechless but after observing his worried expression, you had to let him know you felt the same.

“i do too—like you a lot. if you couldn’t tell.” you joked and smiled at him.

'cause i know that it's delicate

that was when he realized he needed this girl. he couldn’t bear to see her smile or laugh with someone else. he wouldn’t let it happen, because his heart was yearning for her. and her only.

a similar grin crept up his face, making you understand why you wanted him so much. his alluring smile had gotten you again, whisking you away from your deepened emotions and warming your heart.

isn’t it delicate?

there was only one possible question you could ask now:

“can i kiss you again?”

[cinellieroll]

☆ random obey me headcanons part 2!

asmodeus, levi and barbatos ♡

part one (lucifer, mammon and simeon)

part three (beelzebub, belphegor, solomon)

part four (satan and diavolo)

cw: some small nsfw on asmo's part :p

small note: thank you so much for the likes and reblogs! i never expected such a large majority of people to enjoy my content so it's very dear to me. once again, thank you!

☆ asmodeus:

- kinda bad at cooking. his way of slicing and dicing vegetables is very mediocre if not clumsy looking. there are days where his cooking is acceptable and days where it's to seasoned or too bland (always convinces himself its good tho and posts it on his devilgram)

- though he's kinda bad at cooking, his baking skills are okay! his favorite pastry to make are cookies because he can design them the most.

- "ofcourse mc! you'll always be the first one to try my desserts! unless you want to taste something else?~ ♡"

- he has a collection of sanrios, hironos and sonny angels in his room. ESPECIALLY sonny angels. crazy thing is he always gets them for free from his fans and its always the limited edition ones

- he really enjoys watching old movies from the human world especially the romcoms. mean girls, notting hill, pitch perfect. he will pester you to rewatch it with him even though you guys have seen it multiple times already.

- he keeps a small jewelry box in his room but instead of jewelry its full of pics of you and him and the gifts you give him. theres some pics in there where the other brothers were cut or crossed out so it'll be just you and him lmfao

- he is a yandere and i stand by this. it's not as obvious but if he's really into you he'll constantly mark you with his scent and the stuff he wears. he'll leave a hickey or a bite mark if you're lucky ;)

- the type of guy to only bring a purse to school. if you ask for a pencil the bitch is gonna open his bag and say "oopsie! i only brought my makeup pouch and mirror today. sorry babe!"

- has his own private concert in showers every goddamn day

- he'll either fangirl with you about celebrities or he'll get extremely jealous because you're simping for someone else.

☆ levi:

- sometimes his ass crack will be on display when he's sitting down on the floor

- wears booty shorts religiously. sometimes he'll casually just walk out his room wearing a hoodie and booty shorts with prints on it

- has a tumblr account where he posts a bunch of hc, drabbles and other shit and until now no one knows its him

- had an amino and discord phase where he always roleplayed with other people. till this day it haunts him at night

- he livestreams twice a week on twitch and has been scolded by lucifer on stream once. there was also a time where mammon barged in his room half naked and suddenly all the views went up 10x

- trolls on roblox like it's a 9 to 5 job

- every once in a while he'll stay in lucifers room while lucifer is doing paperwork. he'll just lay down on his bed, watch and play games and even fall asleep

- makes his own persona in every fandom he gets into and writes very detailed backstories (dw levi, same)

- only reads "x reader" fics for obvious reasons

- went insane because human world games and animes are better than the ones in devildom. dont get me started about aot. (his favorite is levi ackerman obvi)

☆ barbatos:

- wishes he could get piercings but since he's the demon prince's butler he obviously can't

- started tweakin when you said some humans keep rats and bugs as pets. like he stopped polishing some plates and looked at you like you just dog shitted diavolo's name

- really enjoys your spotify playlist filled with metalhead and grunge songs. he really likes slipknot

- likes to order those cute, fancy tea sets when he has the time. when you gifted him tea leaves and a limited edition teapot set his love for you sky rocketed.

- gets annoyed when solomon manspreads

- has a really good voice when he sings. he used to sing diavolo lullabies when his father would get angry at him

- scrolls through levi and mammon's post for educational purposes cuz he wants to learn slangs just incase diavolo asks him what a specific word means

- "barbatos, what does 'runnin from da opps' mean?"

- "my lord, 'runnin from da opps' is a slang made by the new generation. it means fleeing from your haters."

- loves to tailor and iron his bed sheets so he can have a peaceful rest after a long day of non stop errands.

[vechter]

Top 5 Dick and Bruce moments or things

it's gotta be what faith tells dick in JLA (1997) #73

just the implications of it all. how bruce recognizes he hurts people, whether its criminals or the people who have chosen to love him. but still. still. he is immensely and immeasurably proud of dick. he can never say it, he wouldn't know how to even begin to tell dick how much dick means to him. also the crazy thing- we all know dick is insane about bruce and how endlessly devoted he is to him. but bruce is equally insane about him in his own neurotic way. he puts dick on a pedestal (he is right to) but just how fucked up of him. bonus scene from the obsidian run (#76) that always makes me grin:

2. this one is from robin: year one (2000) #4

so bruce fired dick after two face nearly beat him to death with a bat and dick ran away and managed to end up joining a league of assassins vengeance school under this dude named shrike. i won't bore you with even more plot but something about this panel just kills me. they're both so lonely and desperate for each other's partnership. bruce knows he miscalculated firing dick even if it was for dick's safety- dick isn't going to stop being a vigilante just bc batman said so (bruce u fucking idiot) and i think this instance of firing, while glossed over later in favour of the whole two-face of it all did sth that changed their dynamic fundamentally and irrevocably. it is probably the catapult for all of dick's future doubts and insecurities about his role and place in bruce's life. meanwhile, bruce giving dick agency in what he wants to do next- he needs dick just as much as dick needs robin. it's incredibly sad because i think there is a part of bruce that believes dick is only coming back to be robin, a doubt furthered when dick eventually forms the titans and loses all semblance of a life outside the mask.

3. this one is from outsiders: five of a kind - nightwing/boomerang (2007)

basically, dick decided to hand over the outsiders to batman and this is owen boomerang, the son of the guy who killed tim's dad. this is post-adoption so dick is more secure in his role as bruce's son. and just sth about how dick won't stand for people criticizing bruce, even when he might be thinking unfavourably of bruce. bc he can do that. but other people? no dice. also the added angst from owen talking about his own dad and his own version of legacy. i like to think dick probably felt some type of way about owen yelling out 'he was my father' bc while dick probably hasn't ever verbalized that, he has probably felt similarly.

4. batman (1940) #636

bruce brooding over the past. little does he know his second son is back and ready to haunt him literally instead of metaphorically lol. but anyway, this always makes me froth at the mouth. both bruce and dick have a tendency to look back on those years very, very positively and something about how nostalgia warps your memories but also how much of it is nostalgia and how much is truth? bruce is forever living in the past. @nighhtwing summarizes one of bruce's core truths in their fic Hereditary beautifully: Bruce has lived with grief longer than he’s lived without. It’s easy, then, to mourn this moment even as it’s in front of him, alive.

5. basically all of the comic batman/nightwing: bloodborne (2002). one of the most stellar pieces of bruce and dick writing. the art's a little funky but the story is fantastic. the devotion dick has. it's debilitating, it could kill him. it should have (thinking about the blast dick took for bruce in infinite crisis and how it was supposed to have killed him). the same toxin and anti-toxin runs through their veins. something about the intimacy and inherent religious imagery and nature of sharing blood. but it isn't even a cursory thought to dick. of course he will put himself in death's way if it means being able to save bruce. dick's biggest fear: being unable to save bruce like bruce saved him all those years ago. the way it all takes place on the anniversary of his parents' death. fantastic, killer, devastating show-stopping even.

[archangeldyke-all]

doing asks publicly makes me so nervous but i'm gonna do it anywayssss. i sent you a couple of asks but you said you didn't get it so im gonna send you this one that i've been thinking about for a hot minute-- i think its really cute like omgmgggg ANYWAYS

sevika with a younger (20s) vampire reader who watches her from afar and leaves her really pretty vintage looking gifts, romantic poems, and cute love notes? basically just the reader leaving stuff that sevi takes an interest in!! i'd love for this to be with a black reader if possible <3

this is so cuteeee!!

a quick note and disclaimer before we start! i don't know much about vampire lore, just the very basic stuff, so i apologize if this isn't the exact vampire vibe you were hoping for, or if i get some things wrong, i'm mostly just guessing hahah. also! i'm white, and i'll try my best to make this an obviously black reader without shoving it down your throat, but if i get anything wrong, please lmk and i'll fix it right away :)

men and minors dni

zaun is a great place for a vampire to live. sunlight rarely reaches the low levels of the city, leaving you free to roam whenever you want, day or night.

additionally, the abundance of crime and violence, as well as the lack of any real help from piltover, means that the occasional dead body (both human and animal) with puncture wounds in their necks go relavitely unnoticed.

it's these reasons that made you decide to settle down in zaun for a while.

it's sevika that made you decide to stay.

you've never met the woman, at least not traditionally, but that doesn't mean you don't know her.

the first time the two of you crossed paths was one late night in the dingy streets of the lanes.

you were starving, out searching for a rat or cat or maybe even a man harassing some poor girl to sink your fangs into. you had wandered away from your usual haunts and toward the newly re-furbished 'last drop.'

rumor had it that the new owner had some shady dealings on the side. you figured it'd be a good as place as any to catch a scumbag in action, or maybe find someone so drugged out on shimmer they wouldn't notice waking up the next morning with a pint of blood or so missing.

as you approached the bar, the few stragglers out this late grew into a rambunctious crowd. you grinned, ducking into a dark alley, licking your lips in anticipation of your next meal.

it took no time at all for you to find your target. a crowd was standing outside the bar, laughing and goofing off as they played with a handful of dice and passed around some cigars and joints. a girl in the crowd kept winning, and you watched as one of the men she was with grew more and more irritated as she continued to pick up her winnings.

the second he put his hand on her in an attempt to pull her back and backhand her, your fangs descended, knowing you'd found your guy. you ducked out of the alley, reaching out to grab the man by the bicep and pull him toward a shadowy corner.

but before you could touch him, he was being harshly pulled away from the young woman and thrown on the pavement.

you paused in the mouth of the alleyway, watching with increasing interest as a tall, strong woman towered over the man, glaring down at him.

she was smirking. you found yourself smirking too.

"what did i tell you about hitting women in my bar?" she rasped out. the man on the pavement beneath her pissed himself, his pants quickly growing dark as he shook in fear. the crowd he was with had dispersed, but a few eyes were watching and shaking their heads in admonishment of the man.

"i-i'm not in the bar sevika, we're outside!" the pathetic man cried. the woman above him laughed, and you watched in fascination as a blade slowly descended from her red poncho. he squealed.

"i swear i won't do it again!" he tried, scrambling away on his back as he tried to evade the woman. she smiled down at him, chuckling as she shook her head.

"no." she said. "you won't."

in a flash, the blade at her side swung down across his neck.

your stomach growled as the smell of blood drifted over to where you hid, and your loins stirred as you watched the woman keep eye contact with the man until his sputtering and twitching halted, and he died. she spat beside him, then turned to walk back into the bar. her bar, apparently.

when no one was looking, you quickly drug the body to the alleyway. his neck was tattered, but you were able to get a pretty decent feed by draining his arms at his wrists.

and after cleaning your mouth, relishing in the warmth quickly pumping through your body, you entered the bar, and spent the rest of the night in a dark corner, your eyes trained on the strong woman as she made rounds around the bar, occasionally pausing to join a game of cards or drink a whiskey.

since then, you've spent almost every night watching her.

you've learned a lot about her since you started watching her. like how in public, while she's at work, she carries herself around with a straight spine and no-nonsense attitude. but while she's at home, alone in her apartment, she's softer. she likes reading, especially romance novels. and she trades out her whiskey for a sweet white wine when she's really into a book.

she sleeps on her side, facing the door like she's ready for the first sound of danger. there have been a few times that she's left her window cracked and you've carefully floated in through her curtains, hovering beside her as you watch her breathe.

you've touched her once, running your finger down the pretty blue scars on her face. she had shifted and murmured, but hadn't woken up, seemingly not finding your presence threatening.

she smells incredibly fucking tantalizing.

not in the way humans usually smell attractive-- like blood and sweat and life. no, she smells better. she smells warm.

warm like whiskey and vanilla wraps for her cigarillos. warm like the brown sugar body wash she uses, warm like the wool of her favorite poncho.

you swore to yourself you wouldn't act on your attraction. you swore to yourself you'd just watch-- not interact.

but then, one night as you were watching sevika eat a cold, lonely dinner in her apartment, she broke down into tears.

your heart broke. you almost revealed yourself to her, just to wrap her up in your arms and press a kiss to her head.

and when she went to sleep that night, you just had to do something to make her feel a little better.

you quickly rushed down the street to the convenience store down the street, and bought the biggest bag of cheesy chips you could find. (you've watched the woman back away cheesy chips like she was preparing for hibernation-- you knew she'd like them.)

you left them on her welcome mat.

(and though you weren't there to see it, the next morning while sevika was leaving for work and she tripped over the bag, she stared at them in confusion for about three minutes, before a soft, sweet smile pulled up at the corners of her lips.)

the next night, when you came back to watch her through her window, you were thrilled to find the bag of chips half empty and sitting on her counter.

since then, you've given up on any and all semblance that you wouldn't interact with the woman.

your gifts have gotten increasingly intense.

they started with little snacks and trinkets left on her doorstep. but after the first time you saw her reaction, a little happy smile when she opened the door to a chocolate candy bar, your heart soared, and you gave up on keeping your gifts casual.

you started leaving bottles of her favorite whiskey.

then, the wine she sneaks when she's alone.

she was hesitant to open it. it sat on her counter for a week, like she was suspicious of the gift. but, eventually, she gave in and cracked the bottle open.

once she got used to her bottles, you took it up another notch. flowers from time to time. ointments and balms for all the cuts and bruises she's always coming home with. scented candles for her home, more blankets for her bed. (she's always shivering.)

one day you notice the shoelaces in her boots are fraying and old. so you bring her new ones.

one evening, you watch as she finished her smutty novel, then pout at her bookshelves when she realizes she's already read everything else on it. you bought her a series she didn't own yet.

you've even taken to getting dolled up before your nightly visits to her apartment, like she'll see you.

you feel ridiculous each time you apply your body butter and lay down your baby hairs just to watch a woman who doesn't know you exist sleep for a few hours, but you can't help yourself from the compulsion.

it's only when you start using her bodywash scent in your shower so you can always smell a bit like her that you finally admit to yourself that you might be a little bit in love with the woman.

just a little bit. (right?)

you start reading her romance novels in your free time, renting them out from the library and tearing through them in hours.

you're thrilled to find that all of them happen to feature two female leads.

you're also struck by the fact that her favorites-- the ones she reaches for time and time again-- all feature some sort of love letter confession.

so you make a plan.

it goes like this:

on week one, you start signing your presents with a simple "your secret admirer."

on week two, you leave a rose with every offering you bring.

(sevika keeps them all, hanging them upside down from her window so they preserve themselves.)

on week three, you start adding little notes to your gifts.

"your smile takes my breath away" (even though you don't really breathe anymore.)

"i hope silco doesn't piss you off today" (even though he pisses her off every day.)

"i wish i could sleep beside you every night" (even though you don't need sleep. you'd just like to hold her, protect her from whatever she's so scared of.)

and then, on week four, you decide to give her a letter. a full blown, totally honest confession about everything she's made you feel these past few months.

only-- something happens.

the night before you're meant to deliver the letter on her front mat, you feed off of a street rat. rat blood isn't nearly as satisfying as human blood, but you like to avoid actual murder when you can.

but this rat must have been poisoned, because you wake up with lead in your stomach and a hangover you haven't had since you turned.

you've accidentally ingested rat poison before. and while nothing can technically kill you, a whole lot of shit can make you horrifically sick until the blood works it's way out of your system.

so you have to put the plan on hold for a week.

on day one, you just lie in bed in agony.

on day two, you start shivering.

on day three, you manage to vomit up whatever of the blood remains in your stomach.

and today, day four, you wake up crying.

you miss sevika. as stupid as it sounds, she's been the most entertaining part of your life in... centuries.

and you can't see her. and you can't give her your letter. because you pass out each time you try to walk farther from the bed to the bathroom.

you groan at the ceiling as your stomach rumbles again.

"being a vampire fucking sucks!" you cry to your cat. she purrs in your lap and you sigh. "i can't eat food, i can't go in the sun, i've got all these stupid heightened senses-- and what's the point of being immortal if i can still get fucking sick?" you cry. your cat opens one eye to glare at you for interrupting her nap, before she rises and jumps down from your bed, running away.

"and now you're abandoning me in my time of need!" you wail after your cat.

there's a knock at the door.

you groan as you crawl out of bed-- your body is too weak to do any sort of flying right now-- and wander into the living room.

you're certain it's a neighbor, here to yell at you again for yelling at your cat.

but when you swing open the door, you almost pass out at the sight of sevika smirking on your doorstep.

you scream, leaping backwards, quickly snatching a blanket off the couch to wrap around your three day old soiled pajamas, and then gasp when you remember you have your bonnet on.

you reach up to pull it off-- then think better of it, knowing your hair's likely a mess beneath it. you haven't taken it off in days.

"uh." you squeak. sevika smiles at you.

"hey." she says. you blink, reaching up to rub your eyes, certain this is a poison induced hallucination. it's not, apparently.

"uh." you say again. sevika chuckles, then makes to enter your apartment.

"the rule is that vampires gotta ask to come inside your home, not the other way around, right?" she asks as she steps over the threshold to your apartment. you gulp.

"uhm..." you say, backing up until your back hits a wall.

sevika looks down at herself and shrugs. "i look fine. i guess i was right." she says. you squeak, and she smirks up at you. "i've missed you, y'know. got used to your little gifts." she says.

you gulp and blink again, trying to clear the apparition before you. sevika remains.

"today's the fourth day in a row i haven't heard from my secret admirer-- i got worried for you." she says.

you clear your throat and search for words. nothing comes up. eventually, you manage to say something, a shaky, nervous, "h-how?"

sevika grins.

"c'mon. i'm second in command to the eye of zaun, babe, i got eyes and ears everywhere."

"w-when--?" you try again. sevika laughs.

"since your first gift. i knew i felt someone watching me outside my window, i felt like i was going fucking crazy! then you left those cheesy chips, and i realized maybe whoever was watching me wasn't a threat." she says.

you squeak again, and sevika giggles.

"plus, i caught you a couplea times." she says. "you're not as stealthy as you think you are."

you pass out.

when you wake up, sevika's sitting on your couch, your head in her lap, your cat in yours. she smiles down at you. "welcome back." she says. you groan.

"this is humiliating." you mumble as you try to sit up. sevika keeps you pinned to her lap with a hand to your shoulder and you're too weak to fight her off.

"it's cute." she says with a shrug.

"i've been stalking you!" you say. she just laughs again.

"yeah, but you're cute. and harmless. and-- i'm not sure, but i've read a couple vampire romances-- isn't this your freaky way of courting me?" she asks. you groan at the cheesy wording but nod anyways.

"yeah." you mumble. sevika just chuckles.

it's quiet for a few minutes, and then sevika reaches down to grab your hand. "well..." she says. you blink up at her in confusion. "are you gonna court me or what?" she asks. you blink.

"wha-- seriously?!" you ask. she nods and shrugs.

"gimmie your best shot." she says. you smile, the horrible sickness in your body fading as a giddy feeling starts bubbling up in your stomach. you rise from the couch, rushing to your room to grab the letter, then running back into the living room, thrusting the letter into her hands. "i know you like corny love letters-- it's in all your favorite books." you admit shyly as you hand it to her. she grins.

"you read my books?"

"not yours. copies from the library." you say, shrugging. sevika smiles, then opens the letter.

it's quiet as her eyes scan the pages, the same little furrow in her brow coming up that always appears when she reads.

you bite back a gasp. you've never seen it so close-up before. she's so fucking beautiful, you have to clench your hands at your side to keep from reaching out and touching her.

when she's done, she looks up from your letter with tears in her eyes. you gulp.

"are you okay?" you ask. she swipes her eyes and nods.

"y-yeah." she whispers, a little waver in her voice. you melt, sinking back down on the couch beside her and wrapping your arms around her like you've been dying to do for months now.

sevika laughs in your arms, wrapping hers back around you then hissing when she feels how cold you are. you giggle.

sevika pulls away after a moment, her eyes locked on your lips.

"so... tell me about those fangs of yours." she says. you blink.

"w-what about them?" you ask.

"like, are they always descended or can you control it or...?" she asks. you gulp and shrug.

"i can control it." you say. she smiles.

"so, if i was to kiss you right now, you wouldn't slice my lip off by accident?" she asks. you laugh disbelievingly, then you scoot away from her.

"i--i'm sick." you say. she laughs.

"yeah, i gathered." she says, pointing at your wrinkled clothes and the bags under your eyes. "vampire sickness can't transfer to humans though." she says. you scoff.

"how do you know?" you ask. she shrugs and chuckles.

"i don't, i just really want to kiss you."

you gulp, a shaky sigh escaping your lips, before you tentatively lean forward and press your lips against sevika's.

she hums against you, and then she reaches out, grabs you by your pajama shirt, and hauls you into her lap. you squeak against her lips, and she licks into your mouth, moaning against you.

when she pulls away, you gulp at the powerful, fast pounding of her heart that you can hear from beside her.

"woah." you whisper. she smiles. "so... is that a yes?" you ask, referring to your letter. sevika snorts and lets out a bright laugh, and your heart fucking melts.

"definitely a yes, baby." she says, swooping in to kiss you again.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[darknesseddiem]

hi babe !

i hope your doing okay !! can i request n°10 and n°13 with roommate Eddie Munson, some angst and fluff pleaaaase ??

love u

nono 🫶🏻

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥

"With the raven's wings retreating into the night, the cold air carries the faint whisper of your escape—a haunting reminder that, just this once, you’ve slipped through the shadows."

This blurb is part of the writing game created by me, join me and the raven in this maze of stories. 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐥.

Ever since you moved in with Eddie, your life turned into a complete circus, and not the fun kind.

I mean, this guy made it his personal mission to torment and annoy you in every possible way. It was like he had a sixth sense for when you were in a good mood, because that’s exactly when he'd show up with his unbearable attitude and ruin your day.

You’d be chilling on the couch, finally finding your zen after a long day, and boom, Eddie’s at your side with some ridiculous comment or a loud snack, crunching like a rock concert in your ear. It's like he had an alarm set to interrupt any hint of peace you managed to scrape together. He was the king of passive-aggressive vibes, and his superpower was turning your bliss into chaos.

But it wasn't like you had much of a choice. You'd just moved out of your parents' house, and your wallet was emptier than a ghost town on a Tuesday night. Plus, you had a lease binding you to this disaster zone of an apartment, and breaking it wasn't exactly in the budget.

So, there you were, stuck with Eddie the Terrible, who seemed to think that personal space was an urban legend and that common decency was for other people. Every time he walked into the room, it was like a dark cloud rolled in, and you couldn't help but wonder what cosmic force had brought the two of you together. If only you'd had a crystal ball before signing that lease.

Everything seemed totally fine at first. When Steve and Robin introduced him to you, he seemed chill, fun, even charming in that "he's probably got a ton of friends" kind of way. If only you'd known what you were signing up for...

The first few days living together in the apartment were bliss. He helped you with the move, carried all the heavy boxes, and went out of his way to make sure you felt comfortable. He was quiet when you needed silence, even respected your sacred moments on the couch while you binge-watched Modern Family. But, you know what they say, when the deal seems too good, it's time to raise an eyebrow.

It didn't take long for Eddie's true colors to start leaking out. Those same colors were about as subtle as a clown at a funeral. The same guy who had been so considerate and quiet suddenly turned into a one-man circus, complete with loud music and a never-ending collection of weird hobbies that made you wish you could build a soundproof bubble around yourself.

Silent nights turned into your own personal heavy metal concert, and your sacred couch time was constantly disrupted by the RPG campaigns he insisted on hosting at the apartment. Oh, and let's not forget about the marathon sessions he spent in the bathroom, perfectly timed to when you were running late. It was like the old Eddie had vanished into thin air, replaced by a cheap knockoff who didn't understand the concept of a volume knob—or basic courtesy, for that matter.

Gone were the days of quiet evenings, replaced by head-banging riffs that could wake the dead. Trying to watch your favorite show? Forget it—there was always a horde of his geeky friends crowded around the kitchen table, rolling dice and arguing about some wizard’s spell-casting ability. You'd go to grab a drink and feel like you'd wandered into the middle of a convention.

And those bathroom stunts? A whole new level of infuriating. You'd be in a rush, scrambling to get ready, and he'd be in there for what felt like an eternity, probably reading one of his comic books or watching cat videos. The guy had a sixth sense for the exact moment when you'd need the bathroom, and he used it to make your mornings an absolute nightmare.

Which brings us to the present moment: you pounding on the bathroom door like there's no tomorrow, hopping up and down like a kangaroo, and shouting for the thousandth time. "Eddie, I swear to God, if you don't come out of that bathroom right now, I will pee on your bed!"

The only response you got was a noise that could only be described as someone eating in the most grotesque, inappropriate way. "Wait, are you... are you watching ASMR while I'm about to explode into a puddle of pee? Oh no, you did not. You are going to hear from me!"

The sound from inside got louder, and then he replied, "Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm busy watching this guy stuff a whole chicken leg into his mouth."

It took every ounce of restraint not to break down that door and give him a piece of your mind. Eddie's antics had hit a new low, and your patience was hanging by a thread. This was the pinnacle of absurdity, the kind of moment that made you question every decision that led you here. You'd been through a lot with Eddie, but this? This was a whole new level of "what the hell." It was like living with a YouTube compilation of the most obnoxious trends, all crammed into one bathroom-occupying nightmare.

You might need a whole new strategy—or, at this point, just a new apartment. Because if this was a glimpse into the future, you weren't sure you wanted to stick around to see what else Eddie had in store.

“Please, for the love of God, let me pee…” you said, almost on the verge of tears. This was getting exhausting. Eddie must've sensed the shift in your tone, because the annoying sounds suddenly stopped, and the door swung open to reveal a metalhead with frizzy hair, wearing Looney Tunes pajama pants.

He had this sheepish grin on his face, like he knew he'd pushed you to your limit but didn't quite realize how close you were to snapping. He stood there in all his ridiculous glory, holding his phone with a paused video of some guy eating what looked like a plate of ribs, totally unbothered. "Hey, no need to be so dramatic, it's all yours," he said, stepping aside as if he wasn't the cause of your impending bladder explosion.

You shot him a look that could've melted steel, then dashed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. As you finally got your much-needed relief, you could hear Eddie outside, humming some awful heavy metal tune to himself. It was like he had zero clue—or zero care—about how his antics drove you up the wall. He was just Eddie, living his best life, while you were left to deal with the chaos he left in his wake.

After the morning incident, you grabbed your coffee and headed straight to work, determined to shake off the chaos that was life with Eddie. But you could only escape for so long, because lunchtime rolled around, and you returned to the apartment, only to find a scene that looked like something straight out of a sitcom—think The Office, but even more ridiculous.

Eddie was in the kitchen, wearing an apron that said "Kiss the Cook," with his hair pulled back in a makeshift ponytail. The whole place smelled like something was burning, and he was frantically waving a dish towel at the smoke detector, trying to get it to shut up. It kept beeping, and every time it did, Eddie flinched like it was personally attacking him.

On the stove, there was a pan with some kind of unidentifiable charred mess, which he was desperately trying to scrape off with a spatula.

Your smile vanished the moment you noticed that the charred thing in the skillet was none other than the octopus you'd bought just the day before.

"What the hell?" You were furious, and it didn't help that Eddie was grinning like he was some kind of innocent angel.

He shrugged, clearly oblivious to the level of your outrage. "Oh, that was yours? My bad, I thought it was just... some random squid or something." He scratched the back of his head, as if he'd just made a minor mistake and not destroyed a perfectly good piece of seafood. The sight of him smiling like that only made your blood boil even more.

Your plans for a delicious lunch were now literally ashes, and Eddie was standing there like he'd just successfully solved a Rubik's Cube. You had to take a deep breath to keep from shouting. You'd put a lot of effort into picking out that octopus, and now it was just a blackened lump that even the trash bin would reject.

"How do you not know the difference between an octopus and a random squid? And who just grabs something from the fridge without asking?" you shot back, trying to keep your voice from escalating into full-blown rage.

Eddie looked around as if hoping to find an excuse or an escape route, but there was nowhere to run. He was cornered, and he knew it.

That was the last straw. Tears welled up in your eyes, and Eddie's expression shifted from cheerful to guilty in an instant. Before he could say anything, you turned and bolted out of the apartment, exhausted by the whole ordeal.

You couldn't stay there another minute. The anger and frustration had been building for weeks, and now it had boiled over. You needed space, air, and most importantly, a break from Eddie and his chaos. You didn't know where you were going, but you knew you couldn't be in that apartment for another second.

You walked for what felt like hours, letting the cool breeze and the distant sounds of the city calm you down. The world outside was peaceful compared to the constant drama of living with Eddie. As you strolled through the park and sat on a bench to collect your thoughts, you realized just how much the situation had been draining you.

You didn't go back home for the rest of the day. Instead, you found solace in the simple things—grabbing a coffee, listening to music. Anything to clear your mind and remind yourself that there was a whole world out there, far removed from Eddie's antics. You needed this time to figure out your next move, to decide if you could keep living with him or if it was time to break the lease and find a new place.

The one thing you knew for sure was that you couldn't keep going like this. Living with Eddie had become too much, and you'd had enough. It was time to put yourself first and find a way out of the madness.

As soon as you returned, he tried to talk.

"H—"

"Don't talk to me," you snapped, cutting him off mid-sentence. No room for discussion, no excuses. Just the sharp edge of your words.

Eddie looked taken aback, his eyes widening as if he'd just been hit by a surprise splash of cold water. You'd never spoken to him like that before, but you weren't in the mood to hear whatever half-baked apology or lame excuse he was about to offer. After everything that had happened, you just needed space and silence.

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded and backed off, his usual bravado deflating like a punctured balloon. You could feel him watching you as you walked past, but you didn't turn around. The time for talking was over, and you didn't owe him anything. You'd already had more than enough of his antics for one day.

You went to your room and closed the door, thankful for the barrier it provided. It wasn't much, but at least it gave you some distance from Eddie and his chaotic energy.

After some time reflecting, you decided it was time to talk about your decision. You went to the living room, where Eddie was watching one of his nerdy movies. He was glued to the screen, engrossed in whatever epic battle or spaceship chase was playing out.

"We need to talk," you said, standing by the couch with your arms crossed. Eddie turned his head, startled, but didn't say anything. He paused the movie, knowing this wasn't just a casual chat. "This isn't working," you continued. "I think it's better if I look for another place to live."

Eddie blinked a few times, processing your words. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch, scratching the back of his head. It was clear he hadn't expected this conversation. "You're leaving?" he finally asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

You nodded. "Yeah, it's just... too much. The constant noise, the bathroom thing, and then the whole octopus incident," you said, laying out the reasons. "It's not healthy, and I can't keep dealing with this."

Eddie looked genuinely regretful. "Hey, I'm sorry about all that. I didn't mean to—"

"It's not about apologies," you interrupted. "It's about needing space, needing peace. We just don't work as roommates, and that's okay. But I can't keep living like this."

He nodded like he understood your reasons, but what he said next was not at all what you expected.

"Ever wonder why I always bug you?" he asked, looking at you with an expression that was hard to read.

You frowned and shook your head, genuinely puzzled. "No, not really. I just figured you were... I don't know, Eddie."

He took a breath and then, almost sheepishly, replied, "It's because I want to get your attention."

Okay, what the hell? Your heart suddenly raced, and your mouth opened in a shocked gasp. Was he serious? All those antics, the noise, the drama—it was all because he wanted you to notice him? It sounded like something out of a high school rom-com, and it left you reeling.

"Wait, are you kidding?" you asked, trying to process what he was saying. Was this some sort of joke? But the look on his face told you he wasn't messing around. This was real, and he was genuinely trying to explain himself.

Eddie seemed to sense your disbelief, and he shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed. "I know, it's dumb, right? But I don't know how else to talk to you. You seem so... I don't know, together. And I'm... well, I'm me," he said, gesturing to himself like he was some kind of cosmic disaster.

This conversation had taken a turn you weren't expecting. You'd come here to tell him you were moving out, and now you were dealing with a confession that threw everything into a whole new light. What were you supposed to say to that? It was hard enough dealing with his shenanigans as a roommate; now he was confessing that there might be more to it.

He continued, "Ever since Steve and Robin introduced us, I’ve been interested in you. You’re so smart, beautiful, and funny that I found myself falling for you, little by little."

Oh my God, it felt like your heart was about to burst from the rollercoaster of emotions you'd experienced today.

"Was it a stupid way to get your attention? Yes. Was I a jerk? Absolutely," he said, rubbing his temples like he was trying to make sense of it himself. "But I got so lost in my own feelings that it was the only thing I could think of to make you notice me..."

This wasn't at all what you expected when you walked into the living room. You'd imagined a straightforward breakup with your roommate, but now here he was, confessing that he had a crush on you. And not just any crush—one that had apparently driven him to turn your life into an ongoing episode of Jackass.

It was a lot to take in, and you didn't even know where to start. Part of you was still annoyed at him for all the chaos he'd caused, but another part of you felt a twinge of sympathy. Maybe Eddie wasn’t just the relentless man-child you thought he was. Maybe he was just... confused and desperate for your attention.

"Eddie," you began, struggling to find the right words, "you can't go around making my life miserable just because you like me. That's not how this works." You shook your head, trying to ground yourself. "I'm glad you told me how you feel, but this isn't the way to handle things. It just makes everything more complicated."

Eddie looked genuinely regretful, as if he realized that his antics might have done more harm than good. "I know," he said, his shoulders slumping a bit. "I didn't think it through. I just... I don't know, I panicked."

The whole situation was like a scene from a cheesy romantic comedy, but it was happening in real life, and you weren't sure how to navigate it. You'd come to tell him you were moving out, and now you had to figure out how to deal with this unexpected confession without losing your sanity.

You sighed, feeling like you'd been caught in the world's most twisted emotional chess game. After a moment of gathering your thoughts, you confessed to him, "I can't say I don't feel anything for you either... From the first day, I liked you, but I'm just so mad about everything." It was time to set things straight. "We can try something more, if you promise to never pull those idiotic stunts again, or I swear I'll kill you." The two of you chuckled at the last part.

Eddie's eyes lit up, a smile spreading across his face like you'd just given him the best news in the world. He looked almost like a puppy that had been let back inside after getting caught in the rain. "I promise, no more of that stuff. I mean it. If I do anything dumb, you can smack me with a frying pan," he said, putting his hand over his heart in a mockingly solemn gesture.

You couldn't help but laugh at his exaggerated seriousness. It was hard to stay mad at him when he was being so goofy. "I'll hold you to that. I have a pretty big frying pan," you replied, raising an eyebrow.

Eddie chuckled, clearly relieved that you weren't storming out the door. "Deal. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to make things so hard for you. I just... I guess I went about it in the worst way possible." He rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish. "But I'll do better, I promise. If it means we can try something, then I'll be on my best behavior."

It felt like a weight had been lifted, and the tension in the room eased a bit. You knew there'd be a lot of work to do to make this living arrangement function without the constant drama, but at least now you had a new understanding between you. It wasn't exactly the romantic journey you'd pictured, but at least it wasn't a total train wreck.

"We'll see," you said, giving him a half-smile. "But one more thing, Eddie—if you ever lock me out of the bathroom again, I won't just threaten to pee on your bed. I'll do it." The laughter that followed was a sign that maybe, just maybe, things might work out after all.

“Okay, I’m starving,” you said, breaking the mood with a light touch. “Sushi?”

“Sushi?” He grinned and pitched his voice into a silly imitation, making you roll your eyes. “Eddie, I’m serious,” you said, trying to sound stern.

“Eddie, I’m serious,” he repeated with an even bigger grin.

“Stop mocking me,” you whined, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Stop mocking me,” he echoed in an exaggeratedly whiny voice.

“I’m getting the frying pan,” you threatened.

“Sushi sounds great to me,” he replied instantly, flashing you his best innocent smile, you rolled your eyes and went to order the food.

You wouldn’t lie—even his idiotic ways had managed to win your heart too, but you’d never admit that to him.

[aziraphale-is-a-cat]

I scrolled for way to long to find your blog please never change you pfp

anyways thoughts on John Constantine

I’ve been rotating him

Have a good day

I also changed my username too.

John Constantine, I started reading some of his comics and that guy's a bit more pathetic than I initially expected. His little entourage of ghosts he's pissed off/collected is super fun though, it's an incredibly versatile tool if you want to build a story off him.

Imagine Adult Ghost King Danny notices a bunch of ghosts that usually haunt pretty specific spots on the mortal plane are all of a sudden mobile and following the same guy.

He goes to investigate the mild disturbance and lo and behold they're getting all mixed up in demon shit because this British asshole is using their presence as tools to lure things in. Cue John getting chewed out by some ghost guy who is absolutely fucking pissed while he rounds up all the ghosts like some kind of hen tucking chicks under his wings.

I've been tossing him around in my head like one of those popping dice rollers.

[mera-k1]

found your blog today and i’m in love with everything you write!!! i’m curious, can we get everyone’s (in hypmic) favorite sex position? hope this isn’t too much ;;

hihi, nonnie!! since there's so many of em, i just did a quick list for you. just send in another ask if you want me to explain any~

Fav Positions

Hypmic x gn!reader

-smut

-ichiro.. i see him as very soft and basic. i'd say his favorite is missionary.

-samatoki def enjoys wall sex, i'm not sure what to even call that position tbh.. cause it's not a full nelson/half nelson i don't think. but yeah, fucking you against the wall is his favorite.

-jyuto is a tough one. i can see him enjoying handcuffing you to the bed and fucking you in missionary.

-to me, rio is such a big, soft guy! lotus position for him.

-sub!ramuda def, just destroy him doggy style honestly.

-gentaro strikes me as the lazy type in bed. cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, no preference between the two.

-for dice.. def 69.

-jakurai loves anything intimate. i don't think he has a favorite so long as he can simply make love to you.

-hifumi's tricky too.. on one hand he wants to make you feel special and pleasure you so he'd enjoy giving you oral but on the other hand he also likes to be ridden so those would have to be his favorites.

-sleepy morning sex with doppo because he needs a break. just ride him in the morning, he loves it more than he lets on.

-sasara haunts me with the fact i struggle to write him.. probably.. basic missionary...

-rosho is similar to jakurai, he enjoys any positions where he can be close and just simply make love to you. whatever makes you feel happy.

-rei hmm.. mating press.

-kuko's is always down to try any position you want so i'd say he has no preference.

-gotta say lotus position for jyushi.

-hitoya is just real basic. missionary or ride him, those are his favorites.

[starsoftheeye]

TMAGP Live Reaction - Ep 13

This probably won't be a regular thing since I usually listen to the new episodes on my way home from school, but I wanted to do it today and no-one can stop me

Pre-Episode

Aw this dedication is so nice, reminds me of how I used to sign off on social media when I was younger

Pre-Statement

omg samcelia date samcelia date

they're so cute omg

"she also said that you dont know how cute you are" alice dyer youre not fooling anyone

i wanna hear what this interaction sounded like between alice and celia

"nobody, i'm mysterious" this isnt gonna come back to haunt us im sure

omg samcelia dating reveal already

JACKS HER SON OMG

"wild couple of years after i moved here" does this mean that celias way of coping with being dropped in a different universe was to just fuck... iconic

either that or jack got brought along with her and shes just covering it up. or jack has some mysterious origins that we dont know about

omg a horror protagonists with loving, alive parents wow

i was not expecting sam to be this relatable oh no

sam :(

oh no an "incident"

alice :(

i love celia just being "i know we're on a date and thats great and all but what do you think about the Horrors"

ofc you know theyre real you lived through the apocalypse

ah hello lena and gwen

ah gwen is learning about the consequences of delivering a random address to a living mr blobby knockoff

ooh are we gonna get some exposition

yes we are

these are our Fears i presume

you work in the government responsible for discarding peoples experiences and traumas gwen you werent exactly one of the good guys to begin with

guys i dont think shes gonna sort it

Statement

hold music?? hello?? do we recognise this voice?? needles??

i cannot understand what the name of this company is but i do not like them

the autoresponder sounds so cunty who are they i must know

oooh a scottish guy we love a scottish guy

"i pay your wages" sounding ass. telling the autoresponder that youre the highest investor in a gambling app isnt the flex you think it is dude

i think if a website that directly involves the handling of your money does "weird background checks" and has a "janky interface", staying is less of a feat of loyalty and more a feat of stupidity

oh this guy does nfts for sure

are you allowed to blame the warning you didnt listen to for the consequences?

oh his friends suck too

damn all jokes aside i feel bad for this dude

ohhh so is this like the dice where things can only get so good before they go terribly? or is it like a "when your life gets bad your money goes up" thing

ah its the second option

tbf if its not against the law its not against the law

this guy is the definition of "20 pounds is 20 pounds"

suddenly i dont feel as sorry for this guy

i have a sneaking suspicion that this guy did not get his money

oh nevermind

OOOOOOH NEVERMIND THAT NEVERMIND

huh

HUH

DID THEY SEND A CREATURE TO GET HIM WHAT

Post-Statement

Alice!!

Ooooh he got pished

Alice really out here dissing every kind of date I've ever been on

oh no :(

sam no :(

sam apologise please

shes right tho youre in the wrong place if you don't want weird

alice :(

this is why a polycule would fix everything

alice i love you

sam i love you but you deserved that

[ditzydreamsss]

Slimecicle haunted house video + scu (nvm it's just a lore rant now)

my personal order of scu lore events:

- roll. - Minecraft, but every block is HOSTILE. - Minecraft, but every 5 minutes there's a natural disaster - Minecraft, but it's way more traumatizing - Minecraft, but 100 players are hunting me - The HARDEST Minecraft Difficulty - I Spent 24 Hours in the Most Haunted Place on Earth - DSMP arc - We Spent 100 Days in a Hardcore Minecraft Apocalypse

so how does that fit in?

well vaguely the entire lore i came up with is:

roll. : the start of everything. Charlie and his friends are just wandering around worlds when they load into Narwhal's world- the world with the dice of a hundred(?) sides. After Narwhal fucking. drops the dice on accident, Charlie "consumes" the power from the dice and now oh look he's the most powerful god in existence. Ig reason why Charlie was able to get into Narwhal's server, which is a private server, is because of his abilities to temper with The Code (which is the thing that makes up everything in the world). Kinda like atoms for us. Maybe Charlie's a long lost descendent of the Original God. idk. anyways Charlie splits his newfound powers between Condi and Grizzly. Wheatie leaves them (and never comes back) because he doesn't want to be associated with god powers. They leave on a good note.

Minecraft, but every block is HOSTILE. AND Minecraft, but every 5 minutes there's a natural disaster : They meet Schlatt, he's a funny guy so Charlie gives him god powers and now whoopsie he went psycho. At the end, Charlie banishes him and that does weaken his power, but Charlie's mistake was that he never took away Schlatt's powers, only weakened them.

RLCraft & A Hundred Players are breaks that The Council takes from all these god things. At some point Bizly, a friend they know from a game of DND, becomes a god. After Bizly becomes a god they build Molympus, which is a home for them.

Then after who-knows-how-long, The Council has the bright idea to start The HARDEST Minecraft Difficulty.

Grizzly dies in this.

alright so time for Haunted Asylum stuff.

Charlie, Condi, and Bizly decided to go on a trip to the Real World, which means they will be powerless.

And then at some point they play chess as a ghost. The ghost is Grizzly, who is technically in limbo?

This one specific chess set has connections to the limbo (shh shh plot armor).

(grizzly's comment on the video)

which. of course. equals LORE.

Grizzly's limbo was like he was in a white foggy void (like in the skies with your render distance 0 in mc) and suddenly a chess board popped up. he played along for a little bit before he got annoyed and knocked over all the pieces. The chess board at some point faded away and disappeared. mmm trauma

And then Charlie loses both Bizly and Condi (they literally die canonically)

what happens to condi & bizly & Grizzly:

Condi and Bizly are sent to the afterlife. Because of their connection with Grizzly, their death is the push that lets Grizzly free of his limbo.

They meet up and they're just thinking "bruhh when's Charlie going to join us its been ages"

MEANWHILE

Charlie revists old world's, but is unable to revive anyone, so in grief he resets the entire universe.

He loses his memory in the process.

He becomes c!slime. He stays in the world that would, in many many years, become the Dream Esempii. (Esempii's are how they define multi-people server worlds with admins and stuff)

So Slime leaves Las Nevadas and travels to a random island and stays there, in a pit-hole, until a very long long time later, scientists find Slime and put him in their laboratory. Slime can barely process anything.

Then the zombie virus breaks out (yes, in thosuands-of-years-later DSMP server), and everything goes to shit.

Remeber Schlatt? The ram guy? (Oh yeah also in the reset, Charlie locked up his god powers somewhere very deep inside him)

Schlatt breaks the glass for Charlie. The tube he's in when the video starts.

What are the doubles?

Basically, characters like Florida Man or Patient Zero are like puppets that Slimecicle made himself. His powers, locked away, didn't have anything better to do if as Slime slept for like an eternity.

The Mad Scientist (100days!Condi) was created with the only goal to ruin the world. So he did.

etc, etc.

((*slams The Court Jester on the table* m u s i c))

Since Schlatt had plenty of time to get his power back. So he's stronger than Charlie now. (Charlie's memories got buried deeper into his mind during when he was "sleeping")

Charlie dies.

Then then reunites with the rest of the council.

who, by the way, created a new completely vanilla world with normal respawns and normal mobs, etc.

they escaped the afterlife cause they're gods, idk.

many many years later, a man stumbles upon the vanilla world, or the Reset, with a friend on his shoulders.

His name is Ted.

The friend's name is Schlatt.

Schlatt, who went mad after he killed Charlie, was found by Ted when he was broken. Ted convinced Schlatt to. just let go of his powers because Schlatt actually pulled that power from someone else (idk who, say.. uhhhh.... corn!Charlie or smth). Schlatt lets go. And proceeds to forget everything.

They all chilling now.

started JRWI (Riptide, Prime Defenders, the one-shots, etc.), The Chuckle Sandwich Podcast, etc etc.

Hold on i have this old doc about me ranting about lore one sec..

-----

.....said me. in the past.

think i already posted that before but heres the updated version??

the main point was the Haunted Asylum the rest of it is blurry and mushy and I can change it any time.

[deadly-espresso]

(OC: Ciro)

I had originally conceived the idea for this guy earlier this month but I never got around to drawing him until now...

The reason why I created this guy was... a funny story. So, I had already conceived some ships involving the Department heads from Team 6x111's project To Hell and Back (BUTCHER VANITY and Cakey for Sarai Nassif, Ankou for James Vela) but I ended up having no idea on who to ship Micah Tien with. So I was like, screw it, I'm gonna make an OC for To Hell and Back... so now we have Ciro...

(As for the ship with Micah Tien herself, I would say that the relationship between the two is more casual, like yes there is some sexual and romantic chemistry between the two but sometimes the two are more like close friends if anything)

Some more stuff about Ciro:

-He works at a hotel in the Department of Greed. That's why he's dressed like a bellhop, he is one.

-Ciro was born on April 13th, 1980, and died on July 27th, 2004. (Though he's still alive in a way since he became a demon due to his sins in life)

-Ciro's main sin in life is that they weren't interested in actually working due to their lack of skills and would prefer to just get rich through gambling. They were good at gambling and had become a serious gambling addict towards the end of their life... so that's why they ended up in Greed.

-Ciro is Macanese (form Macau) and was specifically born in Taipa. Genetically, he comes from a Han Chinese, Portuguese, and Filipino background.

-His last name is spelt in Chinese characters as "金銀".

-Ciro frequently wears gloves because if someone shakes his bare hand, they are doomed to have something unlucky happen to them in the next 24 hours.

-Ciro is usually polite and rarely swears. Ironically, he used to swear a lot in his youth.

-Ciro's cause of death in their human life had to do with an incident where an elevator broke and fell into the ground. Like, DEEP underground.

-Ciro has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He isn't necessarily obsessed with cleanliness, though; it's more like he's haunted by superstitious and blasphemous thoughts, and usually takes measures to avoid unlucky or otherwise "bad" outcomes, such as wearing gloves so that he doesn't end up jinxing people by shaking their hand. It contributed to his gambling addiction in life. Things have gotten better with therapy, though...

-Some of Ciro's favorite things include Japanese honeysuckles, card games, shiny objects, mint ice cream, and birdwatching.

-Some of Ciro's most disliked things include being overly sweaty, the numbers 4 and 13, and his own reflection (although that has to do more with superstitions than his own bodily image)

-Ciro didn't properly come out until sometime after he died and ended up in Greed. He used to just be seen as a tomboy and a troublemaker when he was younger, but an incident involving a childhood therapist led to him becoming deep in the closet and losing sight of who he was until after his death. Funny enough, he did end up with a better therapist in Greed. Confronting the trauma from that incident and finally rediscovering who he truly was brought a lot of tears.

-I themed his design a bit on snakes as a pun on "snake eyes", which is a losing roll in many dice games.

[broodingheroine]

tmagp 9 thoughts

rolling with it........ idk transportation? hair rollers? I'm bad at guessing

pen scribbles :3

ONBOARDING PAPERWORK....... SAM STOP FILLING IT OUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

refuse to give "it" the satisfaction of giving up. sam don't give it sentience.

IF ITS DELIBERATELY WEIRD DONT FILL IT OUT

negative emotions. no stop.

why zero to seven.

JUST WHY????

okay they're flirting now. not in front of my salad.

sam humming to himself lol

CHESTER

MAGNUS WHAT??????????????? STOP

"STATEMENT" FUCK OFFFFFF

artifact storage moment

haunted game sounds interesting though.

oooooo wait the dice are haunted........

it's giving the card game with death episode of tma

divination dice 👀

SCARS?

turning gambling into a horror story is so creative though.

nah I'd probably roll the dice to be honest with you

oh this dude was on the way to Becoming huh

oh this is definitely like the Death episode of tma

oh fuck not the snake eyes

lol end of that one final destination movie

INTERRUPTION?

DECLARED DEAD??????

first assignment

"I don't watch television" lena ur so hot

hm tv ppl.

TEDDY!!!

back in the crypt lmao

alice jealous moment???

teddy u sneak I love u

alice the lady doth protest too much

BIG FOOTS A GOOD LAY HAHAHAHA

NO. NO DO NOT GO. DO. NOT. GO.

SAM. SAMMMM NOOOOOO.

YOU HEARD A CASE FILE ABT A GUY GETTING HIS EYES PRESUMABLY RIPPED OUT AT THIS PLACE AND I DECIDE YEAHHHHH LETS FUCKING GOO[?????

alice. alice uve been adamantly against any kind of investigation this whole time and now ur just like. sure whatever??

I'm so stressed right now.

I have a bad feeling about allll of this.

so the mention of some big name TV guy is very reminiscent of web statements so I'm a little wary of that

I'm assuming that lena is blackmailing ppl? can't really think of a reason why some tv guy would actually be involved with anything Horrors related considering he'd be in the public eye pretty frequently.

unless he is and it's the guy who burned the hilltop charity shop down and the envelope is another job? but I doubt that

presumably lena is the one handing out "hits" now vs being handed them. maybe "killing" klaus is what got her the position?

I'm lowkey nervous abt teddy reappearing? what if it's true that you can quit but you always get drawn back? teddy is seemingly the only ex employee anyone has any contact with soooo

I LOVED the case file today. dice are cool as shit. wish I could remember the episode title of the tma ep with the card game to become death but alas.

also hey! even more evidence that fr3-d1 is listening instead of just recording. computer has sentience let's gooooo.

I don't want sam to go to the institute but also I really hope next ep we get to see the institute.

sam filling out the paperwork presumably for no reason 🤨 he's being compelled 🤨

overall I'm STRESSED right now

how are we doing folks

[sixhours]

Chapter 16 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

You haven’t been to the attic in six weeks. The radio stays silent with no transmissions in or out. As each day passes, you feel a cold steel vice inside you begin to loosen its grip. To your superiors, you are a dead woman, and that’s just fine by you.

You can almost imagine coming out of this on the other side.

~*~

You and Ellie are sitting on the floor in the living room playing a game of Boggle when Joel stumbles through the door after patrol.

“Whoa,” Ellie says, jumping to her feet at his entrance, nearly upturning the board in her haste. You turn around and see Joel’s shirt spattered with fresh dark blood, traces running up his neck, threaded through his beard.

“What happened?”

“S’not mine,” he says gruffly. He unbuttons the shirt with trembling fingers, drops it to the floor, shucks off his boots.

“Hate to see the other guy,” Ellie mutters.

“Gonna shower,” he whispers hoarsely, bypassing you without meeting your eyes, socked feet heavy on the stairs. Soon there’s the sound of running water, the pipes groan as the heater kicks on.

You meet Ellie’s eyes, exchanging a silent look of worry.

“Might as well finish,” she sighs, plopping back down on the floor, rubbing at the bandage on her arm. “Your turn to roll.”

“Don’t scratch,” you say absently. She scowls but moves her hand away.

The two of you shake the dice, set the timer, and scribble out the words in a yellowed notebook. Ellie soundly kicks your ass, but you’re both distracted. The shower stays running upstairs, and soon you put the game away.

As you’re cleaning up, she ventures a tentative remark. “Joel seemed weird.”

“He’ll be fine,” you say reflexively. “Just a hard day.”

She snorts, watching as you move to the door and pick up Joel’s shirt, examining the blood stains. You feel her eyes on you as you take it to the sink, running cold water over the fabric.

Ever since the burn, she’s been muted and withdrawn, but Joel’s appearance has shaken her. Part of you thinks you should go to her, try to comfort her, but you know you’re not the one she wants.

When it’s clear you’re not going to be of much help, she huffs a frustrated sigh. “I’m going to bed,” she says flatly. “I have my headphones so I can’t hear you doing anything gross.”

She trudges upstairs, the slam of her bedroom door echoing down the narrow hall.

~*~

Eventually, you find yourself standing in the hallway outside Joel’s bedroom. The door hangs open a crack, an arc of yellow light from the bathroom spilling across the darkened floor.

“Joel?”

No response.

Feeling like an intruder, you approach the bathroom door, easing it open. He’s standing in the shower, back to you, braced on one arm against the wall. The room is damp but not exactly warm. The shower has run cold and he’s shivering under the stream.

“Joel?” Louder this time. He doesn’t stir at the sound of your voice, doesn’t move, save for the shaking of his shoulders.

A dark thought strikes you, makes your heart skip. The blood on his clothes, his face. His unnatural stillness, the jerky motion of his limbs, the sudden lack of awareness. Your mind goes blank with white-hot fear.

He’s infected. He was bit, and he’s infected. Run get out go–gogogo–

You barely hear him over the running water and the sound of your internal panic. He’s turned to you, staring with the same haunted look he brought home. He’s naked; you can see there are no bites, no wounds, just his usual scars, and tired, hopeless eyes.

“Christ, Miller, you’re freezing,” you say dumbly.

You grab a clean towel from the bedroom closet, wrapping it around his shoulders as he steps out of the tub, shivering. He seems to wake up at this, coming back to you as you rub the terrycloth into his shoulders and back, trying to generate heat.

“We got swarmed,” he says through chattering teeth. “Eliot got bit.”

You swallow hard. “Shit.”

He doesn’t have to tell you what he did out there.

“We barely made it out. They’re gonna send a bigger team tomorrow.”

You frown. “How are there so many?”

He shakes his head. “We don’t know. Somethin’s bringing ‘em to the area. Maria says…they’ve never seen anythin’ like it.”

“Will the wall hold?”

“Yeah…yeah, it should,” he sighs, shakily sitting on the bed. “But it’s makin’ patrols a hell of a lot harder. Shit, I can’t…can’t get warm,” he whispers.

“You’re in shock.”

As if to prove the point, his body gives a violent shake. “F-f-fuck.”

“C’mon. Under the covers,” you say. “Doctor’s orders.”

He groans but doesn’t resist when you pull the quilt back and urge him under it, wincing at the iciness of his skin. “Wanna roleplay, d-doc?”

“I don’t need to roleplay,” you say pointedly. “You’ve made yourself a regular patient.”

The bed creaks softly as you lay down next to him, pressing yourself closer to share your body heat over the covers. Slowly his trembling lessens.

“Gotta tell his wife,” he mumbles. “Fuck, we haven’t lost anyone in…f-fuck.”

“Someone from the council will take care of it,” you say, smoothing a damp curl off his forehead. You know the procedures by heart. Even grief is a shared effort in this place.

Joel’s breathing slows, the shaking finally having worked its way out of his limbs. You graze a fingertip over his cheek and find it warm. In the dim light of the bathroom, you can see his eyes are already closed.

~*~

When you wake, the light outside has that dewy, moonlit look of early summer. Joel must have been up, because the room is bathed in darkness and his quilt is pulled up to your shoulders, over your clothes.

You reach out to find him. Your hand reflexively goes to his chest, checking his breathing. It’s steady, but not slow. His hand immediately finds yours and holds it there.

“Sorry…I woke you.”

“S’ok.” You edge toward him sleepily, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder, breathing him in. Your eyes drift shut, threatening to pull you under.

He rolls to face you, large hands cupping the bones of your cheeks, your jaw, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss. Asking, wanting. His lips pillowy and sweet under yours, his tongue teasing, stroking, until you’re both breathless.

“Please,” he whispers hoarsely, broken.

He’s gentle in a way you couldn’t have imagined, whispering soft encouragement in your ear as he removes your clothes, peeling off each layer until your skin is pressed to his . The words flow from his lips as he runs them over your body in worship.

He fits himself inside you with practiced ease, one hand splayed at your back, moving with you. His other hand slips between your joined bodies and finds your center, delicious friction coiled low in your abdomen, a sweet release that washes over you like a tide. You moan into his mouth, feeling him grow inside you, pulsing, emptying himself.

Your lovemaking leaves you boneless, sated. You’re drifting in that liminal space when you feel the rumble of his chest, the soft purring of his mouth in your hair, and you become vaguely aware that he’s talking.

“Mmm?”

There’s a deep pause, long enough to convince you you must have dreamed it until he says the words, so soft, so faint.

“She’s immune.”

“...what?”

“She can’t be infected,” he says softly. “It’s…in her brain or somethin’. She was born…with it.”

You pull away, trying to read his face. “Ellie? How do you–”

“You can’t tell anyone,” he breathes, eyes boring into yours. “You can’t…they’ll take her.”

“I won’t,” you say automatically, feeling a dark pit boil in the center of your abdomen as you try to reassure him. “I won’t, but…who will take her?”

“The Fireflies tried to…we thought…thought there might be a cure.”

For a moment you’re so dumbfounded that you don’t even know what he’s referring to. A cure? A cure for what?

“...for the fungus? That’s…not possible,” you say slowly. “Cordyceps–it doesn’t…die. It’s too widespread at this point, there’s no…”

“Not a cure, then, a…a vaccine.”

Silence, the quiet hum of the house around you as you contemplate this.

“There was a hospital. In Utah. They were going to open her up…her brain–” he breaks off, swallowing hard.

Jesus.

“...and I was supposed to just take her out there, deliver her so they could just…carve her into pieces and…”

His hand finds yours, gripping it tightly.

“An’ I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t…let them…take her…even if it meant we’d never have to do this again,” he whispers. “Never have to worry about a bite…”

Your mind fills in the unspoken words.

Never have to shoot your patrol partner. Never have to watch your loved one’s eyes go empty, their skin crawling with infection. Never have to struggle to make each day mean something as the world crumbles around you.

“I know it makes me a selfish asshole…but I wouldn’t change a goddamned thing,” he whispers fiercely.

“And she doesn’t know,” you say faintly, a statement, not a question.

I think he’s lying to me.

A shuddering in-breath. “She needed it to…to mean something. She was so fuckin’ hopeful …and I just…killed it…

“Now she wakes up screamin’ and I can’t… shoot the nightmares away. I can’t… hurt them the way they hurt her, and I can’t…I can’t…she’s been through too much because of me. And now I can’t take it back, I can’t make it…right...”

You watch a tear slip quietly from the corner of his eye and drop into the tender shell of his ear. 

“I put too much on her, I know that. But if she was gone, I…I couldn’t–”

And here he is, naked, cracked open and bleeding tears, and you don’t think you can stand it. He shudders, pressing his face into the crux of your shoulder like a small child seeking comfort.

Your fingers trail absently through his curls as you try to absorb everything–his words, his tears, his confession.

It makes sense now.

The scars. His fierce protection. Her blinding anger.

FEDRA’s interest.

That last thought lands heavily in your stomach, curdling like spoiled milk. You think of how close you’d come to serving the girl up on a platter to your superiors, who would no doubt find a way to make use of her. You think of how many secrets you’ve told…and how many lies.

You, of all people, have nothing to offer. Who are you to judge the shape of his cowardice? Save the world or save his girl, there was only ever one path. So you hold him, because there are no more words, and you wait for morning to come.