#haven’t felt so strongly about something like this in a while

[hugsandchaos]

I truly adore DC x DP prompts and stories that include the following: Danny strongly believing that the Justice League knows fully well about the Anti-Ecto Acts and supporting it since they haven’t done anything about it at all, but the Justice League actually has no clue about them, so they’re really confused about why this kid keeps running away from them and holds so much distrust for them.

I really want to see Danny being the one to explain the acts to them and say that they clearly want to dissect him or worse because they’ve done nothing to stop the acts, and their hearts just drop.

They had no idea it was happening, and seeing this kid convinced that he has fight against them if he doesn’t want to be strapped to a table and torn open felt like a ton of bricks. He doesn’t even believe them when they explain that they had no idea. Not until they actually do something about it.

Or maybe Danny is prince or king of the Ghost Zone and has been in this role for a while and sent a message to the Justice League essentially saying “We’ve had enough. Drop the anti-ecto acts or there will be consequences.” to add some extra tension.

Because now it’s not just heartbreaking, the human race is at stake. There’s heavier tension from the fact that whatever this act is, it’s going to lead to a war if they don’t take care of it quickly. There’s an entire realm full of inhabitants that have been hunted by the government, and they had no idea until the inhabitants got fed up and finally decided to fight back. They reached their breaking point, and the results could be catastrophic.

I like to think that while in the Ghost Zone, the League gets really dirty looks from ghosts. People glare at them, parents pick up their children and leave, and animals growl at them. The worst part is that the prince doesn’t buy it when they say that they had no idea.

They manage to get the acts removed, preventing what could’ve been a war, but they still have some ways to go before they gain the trust of the ghost zone inhabitants.

[slickchickchocolatier]

Bad Boy

Warnings: reader experiences sexual harassment/potential assault from an unnamed ex-bc, rough smut, smut with a stranger, implied creampie, breeding kink…

Who is the bad boy? 😏

She’s a good girl, crazy about Elvis. Loves horses, and her boyfriend too…

I’m a bad boy…for breaking her heart.

Tonight was the night when the major football game took place. It was a make it or break it moment for your college football team as the game would dictate and highlight the most select players to be drafted for professional football. You and your friends joined up and gathered around the best set of bleachers. You had to. Your boyfriend was the team's quarterback and you had to be in the front row to cheer him on.

Things had been edgy between you two. The ongoing arguments were likely a result of the stress of tonight’s game and finals combined. It was more arduous for him, as he was in his final year of college, whereas you had just barely begun. Still, the hardship of maintaining a relationship and your grades wasn’t easy, regardless that you were a newbie to campus.

The score was close, yet in the end, your boyfriends team emerged victorious and earned their way towards a bright future.

He drives you back to your dorm, where both your friends would meet up for some drinks, or so you thought.

“Let’s hang tight and have some one-on -one time after everyone leaves.” He tells you. You felt a bit uneasy, considering he was giving you that look when you both had barely spoken to each other.

Left alone with him on the bleachers, you started the conversation, trying to establish closure.

“Look, I’m sorry about the fights. I know we haven’t really spoken much, and only made up yesterday but I want you to know I am very proud of you.”

He looks over but doesn’t make any effort to converse back, instead he hums a hollow tune as he begins to pull the sleeves of your dress downward. “Wait! What are you—“

He doesn’t even make eye contact, instead he becomes rather forceful in all the wrong ways. “Come on you like it when I’m rough.”

You used to…

Back before the arguments, you used to dig the idea of your boyfriend tossing you around and going all in like a Viking while you took it. But this time was different, you didn’t really feel that strongly for him anymore. It was something you wanted to refrain from bringing up until later, but now seemed to be the time to let him know that…

“I think we should break up…”

“What?”

“I…I know about what you did with…with her.”

Yeah. Maintaining a relationship is hard when you’re studying and trying to earn top grades. But it’s a lot harder when rumors of your boyfriend's infidelity becomes a popularized topic among your peers. To make the wound deep was that it was with your best friend that he was conducting the affair with. Last night, you saw the photos on her phone after she passed out, and as angry as you were, you didn’t have the heart to force any type of drama until after the big game.

“Okay…so I slept with her a few times. But I promise it was only during your periods.”

You shot a scorned look. “I saw the dates in the pictures.” Hinting at the timeline not meeting up, he sighed as he continued while you did your best to shove him off.

“Stop…I said stop!”

You began shouting when suddenly, a popping sensation stung your cheek. You were shocked as you realized he had just slapped you, but it didn’t become reality until the tangy taste of blood dripped from your lip.

He pushes you down and takes advantage of your short floral dress, and positions himself in between your legs as he rushes to undo his belt. You yell out and flare a series of kicks as you try to get away, yet he overpowers your attempts as he pins his weight down on your body. Plastering the sides of your face with his kisses, you shove and sneered away as you continued with your attempts, though it was all futile. Exhaustion begins to take over and you sense the horrifying loss as you feel the tip of his member poking your inner thigh as he tears your panties.

Suddenly…

“What the—“

The weight of his frame is lifted so abruptly off you as you face forward and gain a clear vision of what was going on.

“Get the fuck ou—“

The sound of your boyfriend's voice is halted still and shut as you hear the audio smack of knuckle meeting his jaw, or perhaps it was his cheek. It happened so fast that you couldn’t make out the difference, all you know was that you saw the one that conducted the deed.

Flinging him off as if your boyfriend was a ragdoll, you watched as the strong arms of your savior become tender as he leans forward and kneels, presenting you a hand. He doesn’t say a word, instead he nods as he implies for you to take it. He pulls you back up on your own two feet, and rushes you under his arm while he takes you back to his car nearby. The slight bit of cigarette smoke and the musk of his cologne mixed together impaled your nostrils as he opened the door and tucks you in the front passenger seat.

You recognized him. He was in the same year as your boyfriend…or former boyfriend actually. He was somewhat of an outcast, not one that you ever really conversed with though you normally spotted him hanging out at the bleachers smoking and joking with his equally delinquent friends. Dressed in jeans, a fitted tee with a flannel over shirt left unbuttoned, it was obvious that he wasn’t dressing to impress anyone.

He starts the old steel vehicle and drives off. Once he hit the main road, he finally spoke.

“Where’s your dorm? I’ll take you there.”

You shook your head as you started to sob once more, only quietly this time. Fingering the shredded tatters of your dress, you hang your head low as the silky strands drape over, hiding your face. “Please…just take me to the airport. I can’t be here….everyone is at my dorm and I don’t want to see anyone…I just want to go back to my home.”

He doesn’t say a word. The sound of the steering wheel turning left, then right, was all the noise that filled the entire car ride until finally he puts it in park.

He really took you to the airport?

“Come on.” He sighs as he hops out and opens the door for you.

“This…where are we?”

“We’re in my frat home.”

“F-frat? You’re a part of a fraternity?” Your surprised tone causes him to smirk as he walks you to the front door. “Yeah, I know.” He nods, already aware of the presumptive appeal that is otherwise an irony. “I’m a bad boy, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

You’re not sure what made you even more confused, the fact that the college delinquent belonged to a frat or that he actually earned decent grades and was a promising student.

He walks you to his room quietly as he fixes the bed. “You sleep here.” Grabbing onto a spare comforter, he makes his own little nest on the small loveseat on the opposite end. You felt so humbled at the fact that the man was willing to lend you his bed while he prepared to sleep on such a small couch, considering his height and stature.

“Thank you…but I really don’t want to inconvenience you. I feel a lot better now, I think I should leave you alone. I don’t want to be trouble and get you involved—“

“I want to be involved.” His tone was deep and somewhat hoarse as he smiles, switching his gaze down to the floor before making their way back to you. “I’ve been wanting to get involved ever since I first saw you at the bleachers…when you came for orientation.”

His confession made your heart melt as you raised your eyebrows with peak interest. “Y-you did?”

He nods. It never occurred to you that you would catch the eye of a delinquent, just like you never realized that closeup, the man was actually quite handsome.

His lengthy strands delicately framed his brows as he steps closer.

“I…” he begins before taking a slight pause. “I can turn your night around…and do it the right way, unlike that scumbag.” He proposes.

At any other given time, you’re quite sure you would have rejected, regardless how dashing he may have appeared. But with the way he came to your aid and was presenting you the opportunity to consent, your heart faltered. “…show me.” You whispered.

He softly rubs your cheek as he swipes the dried blood from your lip. “It’s going to hurt…and I’m going to fuck you hard…remember, I’m a bad boy. There are no…safe…words…y/n.”

He knew your name.

You felt the tingle ringing in between your legs as he outlined the aggression of his passion and proposal. To hell with soft sex anyhow, you wanted it.

“Please…show me. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give. Just turn this night around.”

He smiles. “Good girl.”

He pulls you in as his strong hands colored your entire body. Finishing what that bastard tried to do earlier, the man before you was a true man as he tore off your dress, but never lost the velocity of his tenderness and passion.

He sucks on your neck as he takes a fistful of your hair and aggressively pulls your head back, only to balance the moment out with him tenderly licking the bite wound. Reaching down, he inserts two of his fingers. They were cold and sharp with the way he injects them, yet immediately warmed up as your walls soothed the shocking temperature and created a beautiful sensation. His coarseness with your silky flesh, mending together as he thrusts his hooks in and out, starting off slow and steady, gradually increasing in tempo.

“Oh….oh my God!….”

“Tell me how good it feels baby…” he whispers as he nibbles on your lobe.

“Mmmph!” You bite down on your lip as you hang on by the clinging grip of his muscular biceps. Lifting your leg, you hook it around his waist as you yearn for more, in which he gladly obliged.

He looped his free hand under your kneecap and propelled you up and back as he slams your body on the bed. He coats your entire body with kisses as his fingers continue to thrive in and out of your womanhood. Finally, he releases his internal hold on you and presents his flick digits to your lips. You took the hint and licked the glistening coating off, until he shoved them into your mouth altogether, inheriting a whole new line of moans from your throat.

The sound of his jeans coming undone slightly echoed as he buries his face into your neck, mumbling against your skin while he tells you how beautiful and delectable you appear underneath him. With the tip of his nose pressed against your cheek, and his lips plastered against yours, he smiles. The stretch of his grin could be felt against your cherry stained pout, igniting a gasp as you felt yourself gush in front of him.

He takes the bold tip of his cock and slowly slides it in. “Ah! Y-you’re too big!”

“Fuck yeah I am.” He whispers rather ferociously as he continues to go in deeper…and deeper.

“I told you…I’m a bad boy…a big…bad…boy.” He grunts in between his words as he presses forward, burying his thunderous rod deep into your walls.

He settled once he was all the way in. “Ready to get fucked girly?”

You eagerly nod as you catch your breath, or try to. The moment he garnished your final consent of the evening, you were down for.

He draws out his length, slowly. As soon as you feel he is about to fully exit, he rams it all back in. Each of his inches swarms back into the cavity, but it didn’t stop there. Pumping it vigorously, he maintains a solid pace as he reaches further and deeper into you. What was this feeling? This sensation? It was mind blowing. Compared to all the instances when you engaged in sexual contact with your ex, none of them had ever amounted to the rage this man was taking out on you. He was massive, rough, hard, but also soft and tender. He was both black and white, your Heaven and Hell. He was…he was….

“I-I…I can’t breathe! Oh God! Please don’t stop fucking me!”

He continues to pump his shaft harshly and tenderly as he stilts himself on his kneecaps and rubs his thumb on your clitoris. In circulation motion, he gives the external stimulation of pleasure to pair with the drumming throb you felt inside.

“That’s it girly, let me fuck you real good. You’re doing so well, you know that?”

His stiff member thrusts in and out repeatedly. His testicular sacks slap into you, staining the under skin of your vaginal opening bright red as he jams into you. Your body absorbs the impact and shifts around. Like a ragdoll, you felt yourself being tossed by the momentum of his thrusts as your body went left, then right, only for him to grab you by the arms, pinning them to your sides as he straightened you back to center and never breaking the pace.

“Na-uh. Gotta stay still for me baby, we’re going to do this the right way…me and you.”

Your eyes remained squinted shut at the immense pleasure that rampaged in between your legs, yet the vagueness of his words caused you to reach for clarification. “The r-right way? Uh!” You gasped out as you felt the pinch of lightning pleasure the moment he flexed inside you.

“Yeah baby…the right way. Gonna turn us into parents—ah! Fuck!…gonna make you mine forever. Whadya say?”

It was careless, risky, and completely irresponsible…but it made it even more dangerously sinful and absolutely pleasurable. At that moment in time, you didn’t care about anything or anyone, you wanted him. All of him.

He pumps faster and harder, causing your breaths to shorten as you gasp for air while moaning your heart out. “Oh my God!”

“Fuck yeah baby.” He gasps as his rhythm increases. The shortness of his breath indicates he was close as his abdominal region moves at an awesome speed, back and forth as he pummeled into you wildly. Sensing that you were close as the squelching grew louder, he bids you to come undone as the knot snaps in your lower gut.

“Cum on it. I want you to cum on me baby.”

You released and let it all go as you felt loss of control in your body. The shakiness lasted for an eternity as you grabbed your own breasts and gripped onto his forearm for dear life.

“Fuck, make me cum baby.” He grits as he plunges one last time, deeper into you than before. A second later you feel the warmth of his seed staining your walls as he collapses against your frame, declaring his honest love as he decorates your face with small kisses. “Stay with me baby. I’ll never let anything happen to you, let me take care of you and be the one.”

It was like cupid’s arrow struck gold. A product of love and passion emerged as you wrap your arms around his neck and pulled him in. Here all along you thought the night was going to end terribly when your ex didn’t take your breakup well, only for it to end blissfully as your savior became the one to do the unexpected. Kissing him, you released as it occurred to you…

“I don’t even know your name…” your voice trembling as you recover your composure from the exploding shot of pleasure that still rhymed within your womanhood, even after he stopped and rested inside.

Riddling a tune, he softly says his name into your ear. His voice came out almost haunting in the most delightful sense as each letter tickled your canal. It was foreign and he exotic, and he knew how to get you to speak it aloud.

“Say it with me baby, S-u-n-ghoon.”

“Sunghoon?”

He paused as he bites his lip. “Oh fuck baby…when you say my name….it just….come here now.”

You feel yourself being dragged down towards him as he plasters baby kisses on your inner thigh. Through the overstimulation that robbed you of your other senses, you allowed him to continue. You would have been a fool to stop him, after all, it was a perfect night to make up for lost time, considering you spent all your life with the good boys. Now that you got a taste of you bad boy, you’re not sure if you ever want to be good again. It’s better to be bad.

[bloatedandalone04]

Wrapped Around Your Finger - Part 1.5

Series Masterlist | Original Fic

➪in which anakin and the guys are granted a break, but that still didn’t give him any hope that he could actually fix things between you and him - but that also didn’t stop him from trying.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.2k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡ | THANK YOU FOR 4.6K FOLLOWERS

Anakin was sitting quietly on the couch as he half listened to Theo and Helena talk at the table on the bus. 

They had been discussing something in hushed whispers for a while now, but Anakin still had no idea what they were talking about. He couldn’t focus on anything right now as he scrolled through the text thread he has with you, his expression one of misery and agony. 

He knew you were back in LA by now. You had to be. You were probably packing your things as he sits and lets his eyes flicker between his bandmate and manager. 

Anakin had left you so many messages by now, and you haven’t replied to a single one. He felt pathetic and worthless, and he hated himself. 

He dropped his phone with a huff, instead deciding to trace his index finger along your handwriting on his wrist. It can’t be over between the two of you. It just couldn’t be. You were everything to him, his entire world. How was he supposed to do this without you? 

“Helena, please, just a few weeks,” Theo begged, and Helena sighed as she rubbed her forehead harshly. “My sister just told me that our mom is getting worse. I can’t let her go through that by herself anymore. I can’t not be there for them anymore. Please.”

Anakin’s mood deteriorated further at his friend’s pleas, and he wished there was something he could do for Theo, but he can’t even fix his own mess. “I know, Theo, I know,” Helena mumbled, standing up and rummaging around in her bag. “I’ve been trying to get this thing pushed back ever since you know who decided to touch broody over there.”

The not so subtle dig had Anakin rolling his eyes and picking at the threads on the blanket he threw over his lap. “Well, can you?” Theo asked desperately. “Get it pushed back? Just a few weeks. I need to be there if my mom-” he cut himself off as he refused to say it out loud. 

Anakin felt tears prick at his eyes as he stared at the floor. His heart ached for Theo, and it ached even worse for you. How had things gotten this bad? Just to make things that much more tragic, it seems like Clara and Vinny’s relationship was on its way out, too. She had left last night on a flight back home, and Vinny hasn’t been out of bed ever since. 

Seriously, how the fuck had things gotten this bad?

Helena looked at Theo with poorly concealed pity, and she sighed as she ran her hands through her hair. “Okay, Liz’s contract will end soon, and I think I’ll be able to get the next few weeks pushed back, so she won’t be welcomed back on the tour once things go back to normal,” she started, sitting back down at the table and looking between Theo and Anakin. “So that might help fix his problem.”

She gestured over to Anakin, and he just scoffed, wondering why she was talking about him like he wasn’t sitting less than three feet from her. 

“I think I can have all of you on flights back home by the end of the week, I just need to make a few calls,” she stated and Anakin’s scowl disappeared almost instantly. 

“What?” He asked in disbelief as Theo made a beeline to his bunk to begin packing. “Really?”

Helena nodded, flipping through a notebook with various names and phone numbers in it. She was old fashioned that way, despite being not much older than Anakin. “Don’t quote me on that, but I think I can do it,” 

Anakin sprung up, the blanket falling to the floor as he pulled her out of the chair and wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you,” he rasped, aware that she might not be able to get the tour pushed back, but she was going to try, and that’s what counted. “I owe you. For everything.”

Helena huffed quietly, pulling away to look him in the eye. “We’re a team, Anakin. You guys are like my family at this point,” she murmured and Anakin felt more tears gather in his eyes. “You know I’ll try to do anything I can for you three.”

“I know,” he whispered, “Still, thank you.” 

The next morning, after Anakin got about an hour and a half of sleep, he was waiting anxiously to hear if Helena had managed to get the tour postponed. He was sure Theo had been up all night, too, if the way he couldn’t seem to get comfortable in his bunk across from Anakin’s was anything to go by. 

When she announced that she was able to push the tour back a few weeks, Anakin booked the first flight back to LA and had Theo beside him on the plane. Vinny was in no rush to go back, so he decided to stay behind for a few more days. 

Anakin had sent you a quick text before he boarded the plane, which read, 

I’m coming home. I’m going to fix everything, I promise, Princess. I love you so much. 

And when he got into an Uber after the flight, he saw that you had read his text, but didn’t reply. That was the first text of his that you had read, and as pathetic as it sounded, it gave him hope. 

Theo was in the car with him since they had decided to ride together. He lived a few minutes away from yours and Anakin’s apartment, so he would be dropped off after Anakin. He didn’t even care that Theo would involuntarily be listening to the voicemail Anakin is forced to leave you as you had once again ignored his call. “Baby, it’s me,” he started, glancing over at his friend and feeling grateful for the way Theo turned his body towards the window so Anakin could have at least a little bit of privacy in the car. “I’m ten minutes away from our place. I’m so sorry, for everything.”

He ended it after that, even though he had so much more to say. He wanted to save himself the embarrassment of pouring his heart out to you over the phone, just to have you delete it without even listening to it. 

When the car pulled up outside the apartment complex, Anakin reached over and hugged Theo. “I hope things get better for you and Mary and your mom,” he mumbled, hearing Theo sniff quietly in response as he tried to hold off tears. “Text me if you need anything, okay? I mean it.”

Theo nodded and pulled away. “Same to you,” he says with a forced smile. “Y/n will forgive you. You’ve been together for too long to just give up on it now.” 

Anakin returned a half smile, squeezing his friend’s shoulder before grabbing his bag and getting out of the car. He watched it pull away from the curb as his hand dug around in his bag for his keys, and he almost cried when he finally found them. He hadn’t used them in so long, and he was hit with the memory of the last time he was here. It was the day he left for the tour with you by his side. 

If he could go back and do it again but better, he would in a heartbeat. But he couldn’t. He just had to deal with the consequences now. 

Anakin blinked a few times as he entered the lobby and headed right over to the elevators, taking one all the way up to the fifteenth floor as he tried to think of what to say to you. 

Would you even be there? Did you read his last text and flee the second he got on that plane? God, he hoped not. 

He was a shaky, sweaty mess as he reached the floor you and he lived on, and his nerves were slowly taking over as he neared the door. Anakin couldn’t believe how nervous he was about entering his own apartment and facing you, the girl he’s loved for five years now. It had never been like that with you. Ever.

As he stuck the key in the lock and turned it, his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He hadn’t seen you since that night in the dressing room nearly four days ago. He had so much to make up for, so much to apologize for, and he could only hope that you would listen.

When he pushed the door open and stepped inside the quiet apartment, his heart fell at how dark it was. He was sure you weren’t home and hadn’t been for a while, but then he heard some movement to his left, and he dropped his bag instantly and entered the living room. “Princess,” he whispered when he saw you sitting on the couch, your old Uni hoodie covering your upper half while a blanket covered the rest of you. 

Your hair was tied back and your eyes were sad and empty, and when you looked up at him, you dropped your phone onto your lap with a quiet huff. “Oh, you actually were ten minutes away,” you mumbled. “I thought you were lying.”

Anakin shook his head as he scanned the dark living room. It looked like you had been living in here since you got home. Water bottles, your mugs he teased you about on the day you moved in, and cracker boxes were scattered on the coffee table he and Vinny put together. “Why…why would I lie about that?” He rasped, stepping further into the room. “Why would I lie to you?”

You tore your eyes away from him and shrugged. “Because you’ve done it before,” you simply answered, looking back up at him with tears in your eyes. “You said you loved me. And that I was the person you wanted forever.”

“Baby,” he gasped and made it over to you in three strides. 

“Why are you home, Anakin?” You asked, making him stop a few centimeters away from the couch. And you. “Why are you here?”

Anakin felt hopeless and on edge. How was he supposed to fix this when he didn’t know where to start? “Because I love you. And I want you forever. Just you,” he answered. “I never lied about that.”

You bite down onto your lip and reach up to wipe at your eyes with your sleeves. “Um, Kenneth read my short story. I finished it on the flight back to London,” you tell him and he stood still, letting you say what you needed to. “He loved it. Um, he wants to get it published.”

“Y/n,” he said quietly, feeling so proud of you even though he was also feeling terrified. “That’s awesome, baby.”

You drop your hand onto your lap and look up at him with a heartbroken expression. “It’s about you,” you confess. “About us. About…how much I love you and…it’s our story, Anakin.”

Anakin’s shoulders dropped at that. You were so sweet and kind and too fucking good for him. He never deserved you. “Then publish it,” he mumbled, his own eyes welling up with tears. 

“I can’t,” you cry, covering your face with your hands. “It’s too much. It reminds me of us too much, and I don’t even know what we are anymore.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head, unsure of what to say to that. How does he make this better? “I’m yours,” was all he could come up with. “Even if you’re not mine anymore.” 

Those words physically pained him to say, and they only made you more upset. “Fuck, Ani,” your voice broke as you called him the name he only ever let you call him. “Why are you back?”

Anakin cleared his throat and pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes. “Theo’s mom…she got worse and they don’t know if she’ll be okay or if she’ll make it,” he whispered, knowing that his friend wouldn’t be mad he told you that. Theo was your friend, too, after all. 

Your eyes widened at that and you sat up, sniffling as you began looking for your phone. “That’s…that..” you trailed off as you lifted the blanket and grabbed your phone. “I should call him. I should..call him and..” 

You were becoming less and less in control of yourself, and Anakin could see the way you were getting yourself worked up. “Hey,” he mumbled, grabbing your wrist as you started to stand up. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you whispered and he saw tears roll down your face again. “Why wasn’t I good enough for you? What could I have done?”

A broken gasp left his lips and Anakin fell onto the couch next to you, pulling your body into his arms as you cried against his neck. “You’re enough,” he promised, cradling the back of your head and holding you tight. “You’re more than enough. Baby, you’re…you’re everything to me. My whole world. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did, for what I allowed to happen.”

You cried harder against him, bunching up the fabric of his shirt in your fists. 

“I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve been there to support you,” he mumbled against the top of your head. “I’m so proud of you, of everything you’ve done. I’m sorry if you feel like you can’t bring yourself to get your story published because of me. I don’t want you to hold yourself back because of me.”

You cling onto him and lift your head. “I don’t know what to do, Ani,” you sobbed. “Please, tell me what I should do. Please.”

He could see just how much you needed help, and how you needed to be guided right now. And he would help you for as long as you needed, even if it ended up with you kicking him out afterwards. “What will make you feel better? Do you want me to leave? I can give you some space or time or-”

“No, I don’t want that,” you shake your head and crawl onto his lap. 

“What do you want, princess?” He desperately asked. “What can I do?”

“I want things to go back to how they were,” you cried. “I want to feel like I did before when I look at you. It hurts, Ani. I can’t do this anymore.” 

Tears fell from his eyes and landed in your hair as he held you impossibly closer. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

You were shaking against him and he felt terrible. This was all his fault. “I want to hurt her,” you mumbled. “I hate her. I fucking hate her, Ani. I hate her for what she did to you.” 

“I hate her, too,” he pathetically agreed and you lift your head. 

“What are we going to do, Anakin?” 

He lifted his hand and smoothed out your messy hair, trailing his thumb down to your lip afterwards. “That depends,” he murmured. “Do you still want me? Could you ever forgive me?” 

You brace your hands on his shoulders and nod. “Maybe…eventually,” you answer. “I still want you.”

A breath of relief left his mouth, but he still wasn’t happy with himself. “I’m back home for a couple weeks, and I’m going to spend every single day making this up to you,” he promised. 

“Then you’re back on tour?” You quietly asked and looked down. “With her?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Helena said something about pressing charges before I came here, and I might go through with it. She won’t be there, I promise. She’ll never be around me or you or us again.” 

“Do it,” you encourage, grabbing the hair on the back of his neck with shaky fingers. “I don’t want her near you ever again. I hate her so much.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” his lips curved upwards just slightly as he gently massaged your hips. “That was quite the nose job you gave her.”

You laugh quietly, lifting your gaze to meet his. “I need to know that it was a mistake, Anakin,” you went back to being serious. “If you felt anything for her, even a little bit at all, I’m out.”

Anakin panicked and shook his head. “Never. I never felt anything for her,” he assured you. “She means nothing to me at all. You’re my girl, the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I’ve known that since I was seventeen years old.”

You nod, trailing your fingers through his hair. “You promise?” You asked and he nodded instantly. “Okay…okay. Ani, these next couple weeks…I need this to be okay. Maybe not completely fixed, but…okay.”

“I’ll fix everything,” he swore, pulling you against his body again. “I promise you, I’m going to make everything okay again. I love you so much. I always will, you’re it for me. My one and only.”

You give him a small smile, tracing your fingers along his cheek before leaning up and kissing his jaw. “I love you,” 

Hearing you say that had his heart skipping a beat. “I’m so sorry. I’m going to fix this,”

Anakin kisses you all over your face before letting you sit in his lap for as long as you wanted to.

It wasn’t okay, what he did. He knew that. But he was going to make damn sure that he made everything right again. He had to.

-

Three weeks later…

Being back on stage after the brief break Anakin was given felt great. 

He loved being on stage, loved the lights and the screams of fans and the feeling he got from it all.

But it wasn’t what had him feeling so happy right now. 

Theo’s mom had pulled through and was getting better by the day, and was able to stay awake for most of the day now. When she regained control of her voice, she practically forced Theo to go back and finish the tour, and told him that she would be there when it was over. 

Vinny and Clara broke up, but are still friends, and Vinny decided to focus on music and the band. He had even started writing a few songs about the experience that he couldn’t wait to get out there. 

And as for Anakin, he was getting ready for a court date that was set for a few months from now. He did press charges against Liz, and though she claimed she was going to fight it, he knew he had a whole team behind him. There was no way she was winning this thing. 

And you. His sweet, beautiful and smart girlfriend. Well, he was gaining your trust back more and more as the days went on. You allowed Kenneth to send your story to his publisher, and it would be released by the end of the year. 

He was so proud of you, and when he began singing the first verse of Wrapped Around Your Finger, he glanced over to his right and saw you standing next to Helena backstage, a smile gracing your lips and the red rose he had given you before going on stage in your hand. He knew you were proud of him, too. 

And he knew things would be okay.

-

Goodbye, my Rockstar and Booknerd. Til we meet again.

Thank you to everyone who read and followed along with this series. I loved writing it so much ! And thank you to my sweets, @everydaydreamer for the original fic idea. Who would’ve thought we’d end up here?

[bomber-grl]

Touch Starved

Pairing(s): Hiro Hamada x Gn!reader

Summary: you’re rarely the touchy type but when you get into a fight with your parents you leave home. The only person on your mind is Hiro so you drop by his house in hopes of comfort.

They were so stupid. Obviously you felt even more strongly about your parents at the moment but that’s what automatically came to mind.

They just don’t understand and sure you’re acting like an angsty misunderstood teenager but that’s exactly what’s happening. Whatever, they’re the reason their teen kid is walking out at night.

Well, regardless of what you thought you were brought out of your head. You were now in front of hiros window, the window that you’d try and climb and hope to not get caught doing so.

Luckily for you, you brought along some gadget you invented while at SFIT so with some A LOT of effort you managed to make it through his window.

Ok, step 1 complete.

….

That’s all you got, you hadn’t planned ahead and now you were standing in the middle of Hiros bedroom luckily without causing any sort of racket What a lie

Well because of how in your own head you were you completely tuned out the footsteps walking towards the door. Aaaaand now you’re face to face with Hiro..

“Uhh hi?” He says a bit awkwardly, he’d been taking a shower if the towel around his neck and wet hair was anything to go by.

He steps out of the door frame and into the room. He’s staring at you…

Huh??? Hes staring at you

“So? Why’re you here” you can practically hear his smile through his tone.

“Oh! Well uh… I just wanted to hang out” that’s all you said, he immediately got it and stepped closer, a little too close.

“Kay, want to play games or something?” He asked nonchalantly, and of course you answered-

“Sure”

-

It had been fun, you and hiro were laughing until it hurt if the ridiculous drawings of each other were anything to go off of.

Half way through your little hang out Cass might have heard the commotion as she popped in and offered some sweet snacks, luckily not suspecting anything.

Now? It was quiet, you both calmed down and you were sitting on his bed and he was standing.

“So uhh, what’s been up with you?” He asks obviously stepping on egg shells around you.

“Huh?” You perk up “what’re you talking about?” You really didn’t know.

He laughs awkwardly “don’t think I haven’t noticed your weird behavior.”

You cleared you throat but hiro interjected “look I-“

Suddenly hiro back was against the wall and despite almost tripping over Baymaxs charge box-thing he managed to hold onto you, you were hugging him.

What you did didnt sink in until you felt his hands reach around you.

Suddenly you became hyper aware, he was breathing close to your neck, his hair was tickling your cheek and most of all? You could feel his heart pounding against yours, and to say it rivaled it wasn’t exactly an understatement.

You held him back of course, your face hid away in his neck and after a moment of stiffness hiro relaxed once more.

You thought you were being silly for reacting this way, but hiro? He was just as much head over heels for you as you were for him.

His face was bright red and all he could hope was for you not to notice, he really couldn’t handle any teasing after this.

Then you let go and backed away. Seeing your face was much more reassuring for him.

It was silent until you both spoke

“I-“hey” you glanced from the floor to him in an instant

“Sorry- “you can go first”, you guys spoke at the same time, again..

You spoke up once and for all “you speak first, please do..” the last part was said in your head but who’s to say otherwise?

“Uh, what’s really up with you?” He breathed in and then out “you can tell me, and if you don’t want to? Well that’s ok.”

The last feelings of conflict left you and you finally told hiro about the big fight with your insufferable parents- albeit in a bunch of jumbled words.

He smiled obviously trying to hide it and when he asked why you hugged him? You told him that you just wanted to be held…

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??-

“Oh..” hiros face went ablaze and was now covered in a darker shade of red. Atleast now he couldn’t tease or say anything sarcastic-

He spoke again “then I’m assuming you’re sleeping here?”

-

And boy was he right, now you’re here laying in his bed while he brushes his teeth.

Luckily Cass had a spare and he let you use the restroom before him.

Now you were laying here in suspense, your heart was practically pounding in your chest and you were filled with all kinds of nervous energy.

The door creaked open and in popped in hiros head, then followed by him as a whole.

He stood around the bed for a second, very obviously hesitating. Then he went all in and laid down

He was faced away from you but once you reached out to touch his neck it was hot to the touch.

“U-uHm” his voice cracked “you want to talk about it any more?”

He was going for the normal approach

“No, just… hold me, ok?” You really didn’t know how to respond, was it even possible to say this in a relatively normal way? You rlly don’t think so.

He flushed again then opened his arms. You joined to lay in them and despite the constant pounding of a heart you couldn’t decide was his or yours; you enjoyed it.

It was nice to finally be able to be affectionate with someone.

The next morning rolled around and the two of you got ready and headed down.

You two were met with a delicious looking breakfast and cass may have picked up on the energy between you two because she asked

That morning you witnessed your boyfriend hiro having the Heimlich maneuver performed on him by no other than his own aunt.

-

For those who can’t read between the lines, the last paragraph is basically saying that since hiro and reader were already having tension from the events of last night, cass brought it up and startled hiro- catching him off guard. Prompting him to choke on his food)

[gffa]

I keep updating my feed to see if you have more opinions about the acolyte episode. I feel like this recent episode could’ve used a couple of your posts as reference when it comes to how the Jedi canonically go about acquiring [redacted for spoilers just in case you haven’t seen it yet]

Honestly, it felt like the show was trying really hard to portray the Jedi's methods as hinky, but couldn't actually do anything about it because of established worldbuilding. The Jedi of the High Republic have explicitly said they have to get permission from the parents. The Jedi of the prequels are explicitly shown as not adoption-hungry, the only time we see potential Jedi younglings, neither of them are taken from their parents, one says they'll be going later, one is just handed back to her mom, no indication Roo-Roo is going to be a Jedi at all. So, I think it's a weird situation, where The Acolyte is working so hard to create tension and mystery, but I'm not sure how it's going to shake out. I keep thinking of Torbin, like, yeah, what happened was a tragedy, but why was he specifically so torn up about it that he felt he had to die to obtain Mae's forgiveness? From what we saw in the episode, Mae set the fire, Mae ran off and the scaffolding fell and she was assumed dead, the Jedi never forced Osha to join them, Osha was the one who said she wanted to go. Therefore, unless the show is really, really poorly written, there has to be more to the mystery that we haven't yet unraveled. I feel like that's also influencing everything going on with the Jedi potential adoption, that this situation feels like we still don't have the full context. Why was Aniseya so worried about the Jedi finding out how the twins were conceived? Why do the Jedi care so adamantly, when we see in both the High Republic and the prequels that the Jedi live perfectly fine with other Force using traditions/cultures? Even if this coven was dark, that doesn't mean anything to the Jedi, they were perfectly well aware of the Nightsisters' existence and did nothing about it. Unless this show is extremely poorly written/ignoring top level canon, there has to be more to what was going on with the coven than we know about. Because what we see is the Jedi felt very strongly about these two girls for some reason, but they were clear that, while they had the right to test them, it still relied on the parents' permission. We see that they're pretty aware that Mae and Osha were failing on purpose--Mae can't fake her blood results, after all--and they don't push Mae, but they do gently push Osha because everything about her is straining towards wanting to be a Jedi. And EVEN THEN they just say she passed the test, it's Osha who talks to Aniseya and gets her to agree to letting her go, not the Jedi. The show's vibes kinda feel like there was pressure from the Jedi there, but the actual content of the episode is that the coven agreed to it specifically because they didn't want to attract attention, like they weren't part of the Republic, they specifically said they didn't have to agree, the others were willing to fight about it, but Aniseya was the one who said, no, let them take the test. Yeah, the Jedi are pushing for some reason, but it feels like it's not because that's how they operate in any other situations where we see them with Force-sensitive children, but because they know something specific about this situation. So, I'm fine with everything presented so far and, honestly, it was a lot more positive than I was expecting! Like, this show isn't just a big lore dump, it has a specific story to tell, you know? It's a situation that has its own unique circumstances and, sure, they were borrowing elements from other Jedi worldbuilding, but everything we saw in there was done with permission and they made a point to roll with what each girl seemed to want. Sol was so careful not to unduly pressure Osha, just ask her what she really wanted, gave her a little nudge because he could see what she wanted. They made sure it was her choice! That it was her mother's choice! How could I have asked for more than that?

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message for insight on what's next for you in love.

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Pile One ♡

I strongly feel that most people in this pile would be considered as someone who is inexperienced in love, maybe you guys are bookworms, maladaptive daydreamers, and writers yourselves when it comes to visualizing your future, different settings for how the world could be, and breathing life into the people that you haven’t gotten the chance or time to get to know yet. What’s next for you in love, is practice. You’re upgrading from being Bambi by becoming the Great Prince of the Forest by taking risks before you are able to know and find what is right for you. Some of you may believe in holding yourself tightly before you meet “the one” but the message is that you are being unfair to yourself by putting your life on hold to revolve it around someone who is also learning too, but isn’t waiting like you are doing. This doesn’t mean to be reckless or to feel coerced into going along with people you don’t have a good feeling about just for the sake of finally being in a relationship. This stage is about exploration and enjoying yourself before you meet your life partner. If you resonate with being a bookworm, you could be the type to read romantic fictional stories on a platform like wattpad, and while it serves its purpose which is to make you feel good, it could create an irregular perception of love for you, like subconsciously romanticizing traits that are toxic or wouldn’t be something that you would actually like if you were to actually experience it. For some, it could be re-evaluating your attraction to individuals, like when you crush on someone, you could find that they really look good, but do you yearn for more from them? Your path in love could be redirecting you to pay attention to how a person makes you feel than what you get from them on a surface level of interaction.

Pile Two ♡

There was someone in your life that you once felt like you couldn’t live without or took something from you that seemed irretrievable, but you’re being blessed in a way that’s shutting all of those lies down. You’re getting you back, in whichever way that it applies. This could be your motivation to take care of yourself, to do things that made you feel happy and at peace before this dwindle ending happened, like going to the gym, arts & craft, writing, solo trips or going out with friends, and even something simple as such as looking good for yourself, but it’s not limited to what was mentioned. This could even look like getting closer to who your deity or deities and spiritual maintenance. The best way that I can describe this, is that this phase in love is like this big circle of energy, stuff that was taken or borrowed from you, that’s being marinated before it is returned because it isn’t just aspects from the past, it’s also the time for creation. This whole entire time, your rain of tears that were collected from this heartbreak were observed yet not ignored, but transmuted into this empire that you’re building off of the corpses of failures that you’ve experienced with not just people but life circumstances, maybe when that break up happened it just seemed that more tragedies kept following you after that and it drove you into insanity like when does this pain ever end? Although you can’t forget about it, you’re learning how to soften from these things that stung you in the past, so that you can keep moving and consolidate your wishes. For some, this is personal, and an era that you’d like to be selfish with in order to see what else you can create, like developing a strong daily routine, starting that business, or maybe even working on yourself so that you can heal others, while the other side of this collective will open their hearts again to a new love which can be romance, friendship, or even adoption that is just as equally healing.

Pile Three ♡

The next thing in love for you is learning how to stop trying to win. I’m picking up multiple scenarios for this but the premise is that people in this pile are in love situations where there is no winner, and if there is, let the other person be the one to have it so that you can walk away and stop blocking yourself from better to come in. Some of you are in a long battle with a person by competing with them on who has the upperhand in the situationship, this involves the runner and chaser dynamic constantly reversing and both of you keeping tabs on each other when you’re supposed to be in no contact. The second scenario is sticking beside someone who has a wandering eye but trying relentlessly to get this person to choose you the way that you choose them. The third scenario is in general, trying to prove yourself in order to gain love from others by manipulating yourself and even them to win their affection. There is this storm brewing, you can even call this a tower moment, that could happen to finally get you to see the many ways that you are downplaying yourself with people who have stayed in your space and energy for far too long. You’re going to surrender from these situations to know what it means to pick yourself up and see how beautiful and worthy you are to the extent where you’ll be baffled by how much you’ve been settling for people who don’t deserve you. This phase will come with new connections, but what makes it different is realizing your authority in this by realizing how possible and freeing it is to choose people that choose you. Once you realize that you’re the prize in this game, let the winner take pride in being the fumbler, and be proud of yourself for not being the one to fumble you.

[bubblybloob]

I dare you to draw smitten with either cold or the beast, you pick.

This is because I said I hadn’t gotten many asks for the Smitten, huh?

This might actually be a bit more Cold focused, long thing I wrote below.

There were fights, a lot of fights, actually. How could there not be? Eleven voices given form, only to be cramped back into one space. At least this time it was a house, not a body.

It wasn’t a bad thing, far from it; Hero wagers most were thankful for the permanent, familiar company, while the rest indifferent. Hero himself quite enjoys chatting or playing games with the others, it isn’t uncommon for him to seek out one of the voices simply so his stirring thoughts can have an outlet.

However, sometimes the others don’t click. Usually it was fine- Broken, Hunted and Contrarian seldom got physical. Opportunist and Paranoid might if they felt strongly enough about something to throw away their pretenses or fear, but they weren’t often the issue.

The rest tended to jump to bold accusations and wild conclusions, looked forward to it even. Skeptic occasionally found himself going from relatively mundane quarrels to all out brawls from causing accidental offense. Stubborn and Cheated had a tendency to get too excited about coming out on top in one way or another, and the other two…

Sometimes it felt like they only ever fought each other.

Okay, that was lie, Cold purposely ruffled the other’s feathers out of pure boredom. Hero wondered if he had made up some sort of challenge to see if he could get the non confrontational voices riled up for a fight, given how often he pushed their buttons. Once he flat out punched Contrarian in the face just to see if he’d retaliate.

If Cold couldn’t get them to crack he’d sigh with something akin to dejection and approach someone like Cheated, maybe Stubborn if he was feeling risky- pretty much anyone with a shorter fuse so he could get some form of thrill.

But they weren’t his go to, that would be- of course- Smitten.

“You vile, wretched thing! I won’t hear another word of nonsense out of you. Begone! Foul creature!”

“Call me all the names you like, you won’t get the response you’re looking for.”

It happened just about every other day: Cold would say something off putting, Smitten would respond with something that would offend anybody else, a bit of snarky back and forth later, and suddenly hands were being thrown.

“What are they arguing about this time?” Cheated grumbled, coming up to stand beside Hero, whose eyes were encircled by dark shadows.

“I ‘dunno, woke up to them yapping at each other, or at least Smitten’s yapping, I don’t think Cold has ever raised his voice.” Hero yawned out, scratching at his horn tuft.

“With how often those two are at each others throats, I think we should count ourselves lucky one is so soft spoken.” Cheated stretched his arms and body upwards, his wings instinctively snapping outwards and flapping as he tried to relieve his muscles. The large wings smacked Hero’s side as he did, which had the heroic voice stumbling backwards as Cheated mumbled a small “sorry” out.

“It’s fine. I think it’s less that he’s soft spoken and more that he’s sharp spoken. He talks like he knows where all your vitals are.” Hero responds, shivering at his own words.

Cheated shrugs. “Probably does, he’s our resident freak after all.”

“How is it then that you feel nothing? Without feeling one will rot away, yet you’re still here.” Seems Hero had missed part of drama during his and Cheated’s little chat. Smitten had now grabbed Cold by the chest feathers and was looking ready to tear into him.

“Who knows, really? Maybe I’m like a ghost, haunting the remains that our godly self expelled. Or maybe we simply can’t die, I haven’t eaten in a while.” Cold replies with a sharp whistle.

“Ooo, he shouldn’t be so candid about saying that out loud, never know when Hunted’s listening.” Cheated says behind a wicked smile. No doubt the avian had tucked the information away for blackmail, or to get a favor from Opportunist, who also found a new joy in digging up dirt on the others for his own benefit.

Hero was about to step in at this point. Smitten looked ready to let loose, and Cold seemed to be passively soaking in the drama of it all. But before Hero could open his mouth, Smitten’s hold relaxed, and his head hung low.

“No, I see through your tricks, scum. I will not loose myself to anger over frivolous things such as this. Leave, now, I must prepare myself for the morning time.” Smitten let’s go of Cold’s feathers, which were not bunched together and frayed. Cold hums something tired.

“Weak willed of you, can’t approach her killer?” Cold tilts his head.

A flinch. “I know what you’re doing, I won’t fall for it this time, villain!” Smitten whips around, and goes to walk from the conflict.

Cold’s wry smile falls flat on his face, he turns his head toward Cheated.

“Not today pal, Paranoid seemed extra twitchy though, probably didn’t get much sleep. It’s still early and he isn’t fully alert in his head, might be able to start something up with him if you push hard enough.” Cheated suggests. Hero punches him in the arm, just when he thought there would be no morning fight to put down.

Cold’s brow raises, evidently interested in a fight with someone who rarely raised his hands. He moves past the two, already on the prowl for their jumpiest member.

“Troop on, you emotionless fuck- ow, stop that!” Cheated yelps when Hero punches him again, this time a little harder.

Cheated’s words seemed to have stopped Smitten in his tracks however, he mutters something to himself, and whips back around. “You can’t be as dispassionate as you claim! You’re merely afraid of your own feelings!”

The accusation makes the Cold stop dead. His expression is hidden, but Hero swears he sees his feathers puff out. He expects them to quickly flatten back down.

But they don’t.

Cold slowly turns the upper half of his body, his face looks… almost strained. His composure had finally cracked.

“Hmm?” He darkly hums. It’s an oddly moderate response, given how Cold takes any and all opportunities to tease whomever he talks to, especially for outlandish claims such as this.

They were outlandish… weren’t they?

Hero had a bad feeling in his gut, one he couldn’t explain.

“I’m right.” Smitten looks a little surprised, before a damn near elated expression creeps onto his face. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Cold doesn’t respond, still half turned to leave. He hasn’t moved, hasn’t swayed in the past ten seconds. Hero wonders if he was still breathing.

“You aren’t unfeeling at all, are you? You’re full of emotion! What’s is it then that makes you push them under the deep, dark waves of the heart? Fear? Want? …Guilt? I can guess what it’s for.” Smitten continues with his theory, the Cold still hasn’t retaliated.

“Ooo, might be onto something there, Smitty.” Chester looks almost excited as he says this. His words seem to encourage Smitten further, who puffs up under the praise.

Cold stands there.

“Go on then, tell us the harsh truth, fiend. You’re no emotionless husk.” Smitten moves closer and closer to Cold’s position. Hero wonders if he should put himself between the two, but he can’t say he isn’t interested to where this is going.

Smitten stands face to face with his Cold counterpart. Hero swears Cold shrinks back under the close attention.

“You’re afraid.”

For a moment, they stand there, a stare down. Hero briefly hears the faint phantom sounds of glass breaking under the weight of godhood.

In a blink Cold draws his arm back, and his fist connects to Smitten cheek.

—

WoooOooO cliffhanger that might never keep going.

I’m unsure if this is common theory or whatnot, but I’ve not for a moment believed Cold was emotionless. I think he’s hurt by what’s happened to him, so much so that he thinks being emotionless, acting only to entertain will bring him some form of twisted comfort.

I think he’s too afraid to let himself feel, so he pushes his feelings far, far down, and pretends he feels nothing. He’s so good at it that he believes it to be true.

He’s so good at ignoring both physical and mental feeling that he himself believes he is nothing but a thrill seeker. In reality, his emotions, his physical needs, it all hurt him, so he squashes both.

Think about it, you usually get him by killing the princess in cold blood, and then subsequently stabbing yourself. Both hurt him. He only knows hurt from both, so he throws them aside.

[pablitogavii]

Hii! I love your writing 💕

I was wondering if you could write something where Gavi misses the reader a lot and she goes to visit him and he's very clingy.

Long Distances

You were at the airport waiting patiently for your flight to Portugal. Pablo went there yesterday with his team and you couldn’t join because of your exam.

Pablo was whiny all morning when you were pushing him to pack and drive to the training stadium to meet his teammates.

“I don’t wanna go!!! I haven’t been with you in so longg!! I wanna stay home! With you!” He fell on the bed nuzzling his head into your boobs and you giggled since his kisses tickled badly.

“Fine! I’ll come tomorrow, vale? Spend some time together before the game and travel back together ??” You suggested and he got excited agreeing quickly before kissing your lips passionately.

And so, here you are sitting at your gate with Pablo on the face time call since he was feeling needy to see you immediately.

“You should take a nap cariño, until the evening training session??” You remind him but he was way too stubborn to listen.

“I only wanna nap with you! Have you play with my hair and kissing me…ughh I want you!!!” He whined and you giggled at his silliness and impatience.

"I'll be there in a few hours cariño, and then you can get all the cuddles you want?" you say and he smiled as you continued to talk all the way until you boarded the plane.

Your trip was very nice and you spent most of it reading your new book and when you came you saw your boy escorted by his security waiting for you at the terminal.

The moment he saw you, he ran wrapping you in his strong muscular arms raising you from the ground and twirling you around. Everyone was shouting his name wanting his attention but you were the only one getting it..all of it.

"I told you to take business class so I can see you sooner preciosa!!" he whined like a baby capturing your lips shortly afterwards and you kissed him back just as strongly.

"It's only few minutes difference..besides, you know I'm all coach all the way!" you giggle and he knew how careful you are with spending not being one of those extravagant girls and that's what he loved about you.

"Few looong minutes princesa mía.." he said nuzzling his nose into your neck leaving a few kisses there but you reminded him that you were in public.

"Let's get to the hotel! I wanna cuddle you so bad!" he grabbed your hand rushing to get your bag from the terminal as you giggled following after him while people were taking pictures and videos.

In the car, the two of you were sitting on the back seat while one of the security guards drove back to the hotel where team was staying at. Pablo was first holding your hand, then kissed it. and then when not even that was enough his hand traveled to your thigh as he pulled you so close your bodies were glued together side by side.

"Did you really miss me this much cariño??" you giggle running your hand through his hair and he immediately groaned nodding his head and moving his head closer so that you would do it again.

"Can't you wait until we get to the hotel??" you giggle and he shakes his head moving it on your lap and you smile starting to play with it as he just laid there like an adorable little puppy. You loved clingy Pablo...it was your favorite to be honest.

When you arrived, Pablo was already napping on your lap so you leaned down to kiss his head and get him up before the door opened and you exited to meet the team inside.

"Y/n!" Balde was the first one to greet you with an excited smile. The moment Pablo introduced you to his friends, all of them accepted and liked you very much. You all became really good friends!

"Hola!! Como estas tío!?" you say greeting all of them and laughing until you felt Pablo's grumpy groan on the back of your neck and his strong grabby arms wrapping around you from behind as he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

"You'll suffocate the girl Pablito!" Frenkie teased

"Shut up!" Pablo rolled his eyes in annoyance that you weren't already in the room cuddled up together and ALL ALONE! He craved only your company for so long

"Someone's an angry bird again?? Hola amiga!" Pedri joined hugging you and you giggled looking at Pablo who let go off you and just left angrily towards the bedroom. You knew he was just frustrated and needy so you ran after him promising to catch up with the rest later.

"Clingyy!" they yelled after him and you sighed.

"Better catch my angry bird. Bye guys!" you say waving and they all waved back laughing at Pablo's silly attitude knowing their friends was completely whipped by you.

"Oie cariño. Por favor don't be angry, I was just being nice to them..but I'm all yours now..promise!" you say jumping on his back and he gives you a piggy back ride all the way to the bedroom you'll be sharing.

The moment you came in, he pulled you on the bed laying his head on top of your boobs and nuzzling closer into your neck with a comfortable moan leaving his mouth.

"Is this what you needed cariño??" you ask playing with his hair as he rested on your chest holding you tightly like an adorable little baby holding his favorite toy.

"Mhm..all I need princesa" he said into your chest and you smile leaning down to kiss his temple while he looked up catching your lips softly.

"Am I really being clingy preciosa?" he asked with those adorable puppy dog eyes staring up at you..aaaggghhhh you could melt at that moment.

"Yes you are but so are all the boys with their girlfriends..trust me, if they tease you about it, just remind them how they act around their girls. All of them beg for cuddles before bed" you say and Pablo knew that must be true since girls talk to each other. That made him relieved and he wasn't going to take their crap for it anymore.

"I hate these long distances so much amor.." he says and you smile nodding your head. It wasn't easy but your love was worth overcoming any obstacle or inconvenience.

"Me too cariño..but we always find a way to make it work" you say and he nods happy that you would travel just to be with him when he needed you. It made him feel so special.

"Te amo muchisimo princesa!" he said and you smiled nodding your head and kissing his nose first and then his lips which made the boy blush before laying back down on your chest.

"Te amo Pablito..rest up now so you can win tomorrow! I know you will!" you reassure him and he smiled enjoying the way you were massaging his scalp, you familiar scent filling his nostrils as he could finally completely relax and fall asleep in his girl's arms.

[saphronethaleph]

Linguistic drift

A faint presence touched his consciousness, and Master Ikrit’s muscles twitched.

He fell out of his trance with an exhalation, then stretched himself out.

As a kushiban, he had two long ears, and a vaguely lapine face, and four paws supporting his body with a long tail behind him. He was covered all over in off-white fur, and he weighed about ten pounds.

This made him noticeably smaller than his old Master, but his old Master had been noticeably smaller than just about everyone else so that had never really bothered him.

Stifling a yawn, Ikrit exchanged stretching muscles for stretching his senses, and he felt the Force around him for answers.

The Palace of the Woolamander remained closed. That much, at least, was good news… and that he had woken at all meant that there was someone nearby who could touch the Force.

Flicking his tail, Ikrit felt for their presence, and detected a flowing current of light. Like a miniature humming whirl of sound going up and down the scales, muted but still present.

They were definitely heading in this direction, and there were others with them. Not sensitive to the Force, not like the single presence he could feel strongly, but it told him that they were moving towards him using some kind of airspeeder – or spacecraft.

Next, the small Jedi Master felt for his own internal sense of time – and flicked his ears, trying to hide his somewhat embarrassed surprise.

It seemed he had been in hibernation for around three hundred and seventy standard years.

Master Yoda would never have approved of quite such a long nap, and right now Ikrit wondered if perhaps he should have done something else.. but what was done was done, and he let his embarrassment go into the Force.

Then he focused, and sprang up to the roof of the Palace with a single spring.

He was going to need to ask the visitors for help, after all.

“Any idea who built these temples, General?” Bail asked, looking around. “This one’s designed differently to the other two, but it’s got to be the same style – despite being so far apart.”

“We don’t have much,” Dodonna replied, apologetically. “A lot about the moon has been lost, but that’s exactly what makes it a suitable base location – we can hide a lot of power signatures behind this much stone.”

He glanced at Bail’s daughter, who was looking around herself with great interest. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to bring her along?”

“I’m sure Princess Leia is quite able to keep silent on important matters,” Bail replied. “Isn’t that correct?”

“Of course,” Leia replied, with a smile. “I haven’t told anyone about the thing.”

“The thing?” Bail repeated, amused.

“Oh, I couldn’t explain,” Leia replied. “After all, then I would have told someone about it.”

She frowned, slightly. “What exactly are we trying to do here?”

“Investigate the thickness of the walls, mostly,” Bail told her. “Like Dodonna said, thick walls can conceal power signatures – if the walls are thick enough, this could be an independent base.”

“Or if they’re less thick, they might still make for a good satellite base,” Dodonna added. “To cover an evacuation, if the main base is found out – an unexpected fighter strike coming from a novel location can do a lot for clearing the air.”

“Got it,” Leia said. “And how can I help?”

“Carrying a sensor pack should do,” Bail suggested. “We can get good density and dispersal readings by flying the ship over while there’s sensor packs in different parts of the structure.”

He winked at Dodonna. “I’ve learned a few things myself, General.”

“I wouldn’t want to suggest otherwise!” Dodonna replied, with a chuckle. “I’ll get my men turned out – and an extra pack for the Princess.”

Ikrit’s ears twitched, as he watched the group disembark. They were mostly humans, with a scattering of other races.

No kushiban, but he was expecting that. His people were mostly not wanderers.

The problem was, what he could hear indicated that there had been some quite serious linguistic drift… which meant he could have serious trouble making himself understood.

On the plus side, though, being this close let him pinpoint the person with the ability to touch the Force. Ikrit could work past at least some of the problems by working with concepts, allowing the other adept – a human girl, not yet into her full growth – to fill in his meaning without him needing to use exactly the right words.

He could also see where she was going, and turned to scamper down into the Palace to get ahead of her.

A few minutes of going down though the Palace’s chambers – much the same as they had been over three hundred and fifty years ago, except for the precise layout of plants – and Ikrit was ready to introduce himself.

Introduce himself to a girl who was very strong in the Force, but who bore no Padawan’s braid and who had no sign of that strength being trained.

It was quite strange, but Ikrit shook himself out, then appeared out from behind a rock with a smile as the girl entered a corridor.

“Greetings,” he said, weighting his words with the Force and aiming to let the concepts he was transmitting flow through the air. “It is nice to meet you.”

The girl stopped, and blinked at him.

“You (communicate<>can talk)?” she asked.

“Yes,” Ikrit agreed. “I am not quite speaking your language.”

“I can (understand you<>follow your meaning),” the girl replied, looking confused. “How?”

“The Force,” Ikrit replied. “You could do it as well. If you agree to a mutual connection, with my help you can become a female-padawan.”

Leia stared at the strange creature smiling up at her, covered in fine white fur.

“It’s something (you)(can learn),” he said. “If you (make a contract)(with me), you can become (a magical girl)!”

[justalia]

The Self

i haven’t been here in a while and i’ve been exploring the law more and more, gaining even more insight.

i know i haven’t been active as much as i was before but as i said i will come on here to write about what i feel needs to be shared instead of just yapping and sharing things i don’t feel strongly about or just repeat myself.

this is a concept that has been discussed and talked about by many, me included. i personally have always wondered a lot about this, i have understood the concept in theory and applied it too but never managed to live by it, until now.

“The Inner Man”

this is how most of us know the concept i’m talking about, this is the name we’ve all collectively given it. i bet you’ve read the phrase “you are the inner man” several times, hell i have preached it several times.

i think thinking of it in this way sometimes tends to create separation between “you” (the human you) and the you in imagination. at least that’s how i felt when i first read about it last year when i was first approaching the law, even if that’s not what the people who write about it are trying to say.

the idea we’ve all seen repeated over and over by bloggers is that the real you is in imagination and you should identify with the inner man and satisfy your desire with the feeling of having said desire because “that’s what you actually want”.

and that’s partially true.

the inner man’s concept in the way that it is worded inevitably creates separation and makes you believe there’s two entities, the physical you and the one in imagination and that you have to put effort into identifying with the one inside or just “have faith” that it is true.

i don’t know about you but both effort and blind belief have given me problems in the long run because the truth is that you need to study this and understand it for yourself to truly know what this means. knowing something requires no effort and no belief, you just KNOW it is like that and nothing can move you from that. same as knowing the sky is blue, you don’t just “believe” it, nor it requires effort for you to identify the sky as blue, you just know it.

Q. but i can see the sky is blue! i know it is blue because i have proof.

knowing doesn’t always necessarily require physical proof, it can just require understanding and realization and that is what i want you to achieve at the end of this post.

you need to get to a point of knowing you are the one inside and not just “trusting” it or believing it because that is what everyone tells you to do, if you don’t sit on the concept and realize it for yourself blind belief will only take you so far. i suggest you’d do your own research and study everything that inspires you in this law, there’s several places where you can find the source and believe me when i tell you no blogger can be as helpful as your own realizations.

as all feelings of separation, even this separation between the imaginal you and the human body will inevitably bring you troubles in the long run. believing that they are both you will bring confusion and fears inevitably arise. you feel anxiety, you have fearful thoughts and you freak out because as long as you believe it is you, you will inevitably assign it a meaning and that will lead you to think it has some impact on you and you don’t have any control over what happens.

you will start to think that since you had this thought it means you are “out of the state” so it will affect your “manifestation”, you’ll start to think that anything you imagine takes life and expresses without you having any real control over it. you will start to think you are the thoughts, the feelings, the states and you will start to desperately try to control them and/or yourself or better what you believe to be yourself.

you will feel you are your mind and have no control over it, you will lose the safety you once felt inside of imagination and you will not feel alone inside of it.

Self

the Self i’m talking about is the real you and the only one.

sit back in a comfortable position and relax for a few moments, try to quiet the mind, observe the thoughts, drop the judgements.

who am i?

ask yourself this question.

let thoughts come and observe them.

who is observing? your Self.

are you the thoughts or are you the one observing them?

are you the fears or are you observing them?

are you the anxiety or are you observing it?

are you the body or are you observing it?

are you the mind or are you observing it?

are you the thing perceived or the perceiver?

who is that?

The Self.

the one and only self.

there is no imaginal you and physical you. you are the perceiver of all things, you are the dreamer. there is no “i must look for the feeling because that’s how things get expressed” there is no feeling to look for, no effort put into fulfilling one Self whatsoever because once you’ve realized who you are that’s only natural to experience what you want inside, there is no craving for outside validation because the body is not who you are.

the Self inside has experienced it and that’s the only thing you will crave because You have experienced it.

i’m not gonna tell you it won’t take a tiiiiny bit of “effort” AT FIRST to identify with your real Self whenever you’re involved with the ego, because we have habits and habits such as identifying with the ego are not immediately let go of. but i don’t even wanna call it effort because once you hit the realization of who you really are you will WANT to go back to that, it will inevitably feel wrong to identify with the ego because even if comfortable you’ve realized that is not you, it will feel temporary whenever you go back to being the ego.

you don’t need to intentionally identify with the “inner self” aka the only identity you have, you are unlimited consciousness CHOOSING to identify with the ego and the body.

IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

that’s why you struggle with this. because you think you have to do something to identify with the self when you simply already are, you just let go of the ego identity you’re so desperate for right now.

[fallingforfictionalcharacterss]

Hii can I request a Draco x female reader in where Draco is crushing on reader but reader is oblivious and dense?<33

Thank you for your request! I´m finally back from my vacation (it hasn´t been long enough by any means) and need to get back into writing again now, so I really hope this turned out alright. But basically, these are about 7k words of Draco simping for the reader (maybe a bit too much to actually be in his character). However it was really fun to write, so I hope you´ll enjoy reading.

Clueless

Draco´s head snapped around when he heard a familiar giggle only a few meters away from him. The Professor standing in front of the class long forgotten, he watched with widened eyes, how you nudged Pansy playfully, before the Slytherin girl whispered something into your ear, making you burst into laughter once more. Quickly, you brought a hand to your mouth, trying to stifle the sounds threatening to escape it. Once you had somewhat managed to calm down again, you straightened your back and took a deep breath, before you leant over to Pansy, apparently wanting to answer whatever she had just told you, but when your gaze caught something in front of you, you seemed to change your mind, because instead, you grabbed the quill that until now had been lying on your table uselessly and scribbled something on a piece of parchment, before you lowered your head, looking into the book in front of you. Draco watched in awe how you brought the tip of your quill to your lips as you got lost in the text you were reading. Even though he couldn’t be sure over the distance between the two of you, Draco strongly suspected, that by now there would be a faint stain of ink smudged over your lips. You narrowed your eyes, bringing your head even closer to the book, seemingly coming to a part of the text that was harder to understand than the one before. Or maybe just harder to decipher. The ink in the old books you were working with was from time to time almost fainted, and the curved font itself was already hard enough to read. But regardless of what had caused the shift in your posture, it made some strands of hair fall into your face. But while Draco couldn’t help but admire how perfectly they framed the shape of your face, only stressing your most beautiful – so pretty much every single one of your – features, you didn’t even seem to notice, too lost in the world of the book you were currently working with. Just like Draco got lost in you. Oh, how much he wanted to brush that hair out of your face, taking in every single detail of it, while he would twirl those strands of hair around his fingers. And he could brush away the ink that would stain your pretty lips with his thump tenderly or he could just press his lips on yours so it would faint just as well and then he would…

“Very well, Mr. Malfoy, since apparently you have already finished your task, would you mind sharing your results with the rest of the class?”

Draco snapped out of his trance and blinked up in irritation. Professor McGonagall was standing in front of him, looking at him with narrowed eyes, her lips pursed. Slowly, the Slytherin began to fade back into the world surrounding him. Because unlike it had felt for him only seconds ago, it wasn’t just you and him in this room, but instead, the entire transfiguration class, including the Professor. And every single one of those people was now looking at him. Draco felt their eyes lingering on him and cursed himself. How could he have been so stupid to let himself get distracted that easily simply by how absolutely effortlessly beautiful you looked? But now he would have to face the consequences. He glared up at the Professor, trying to give his face a humble look.

“Excuse me, Professor, but I´m not finished yet.”

“It looks more like you haven’t even started.”, Professor McGonagall returned with a disapproving look at his empty parchment.

“I was still reading. I´ll start the essay soon.”, Draco promised, trying to prevent his face from heating up.

“Well, I suggest next time you will open the book to do so.”

He heard his classmates snickering in the background. Draco clenched his jaw and had to try his hardest to not take an issue with Professor McGonagall. He knew this would only make things worse. If that was even possible right now. Because after all, he was not only being humiliated in front of the entire class but also you. And that was something Draco didn’t even dare to think about.

“At the end of the lesson I expect an entire role of parchment on my desk from you, Mr. Malfoy.”, the Professor spoke up again. “And if you won´t be able to finish it today, you will hand it in tomorrow. Is that clear?”

Draco nodded slowly, teeth gritted. Professor McGonagall knew very well that it was sheer impossible to finish the essay in this lesson and that this afternoon, Draco would have to be at the pitch for some Quidditch practice. He was certain that if he would have been one of the Professor´s precious Gryffindors, especially one of those of the Quidditch team, she wouldn’t have been that hard on him. He was sure of that. Still, he knew he wouldn’t win this argument, so he kept his mouth shut.

Professor McGonagall nodded.

“Very well then.”, she said, before turning around, shifting her focus to his classmates again.

Draco let out a small sigh, before letting his gaze wander around the classroom. He could see some of the Gryffindors shooting him some gleeful glances, but Draco just ignored them. It wasn’t until his gaze settled on you, that his haughty façade started to crumble. Because the moment his gaze settled on you, you looked up from your book as well, your gaze meeting his. Draco´s heart got stuck in his throat as you threw the boy a small compassionate smile, before breaking the eye contact and focusing on the book in front of you again.

Draco´s heart was pumping so loud in his ears that he feared you might hear it on the other side of the classroom, but you didn’t look up again. Still, just those few seconds Draco had been in your orbit, made the boy forget why he had been so upset only minutes ago. The Slytherin couldn’t help the small smile that made it to his face. Maybe all the trouble in this lesson had been worth it after all.

And when Draco heard Blaise´s amused voice mutter beside him: “You´ve got it bad, man.”, he couldn’t even argue with it.

Later that day you were sitting in the common room with Pansy, chatting about all the world and his wife. At some point, Draco´s strange behaviour earlier that day came up as well. But while Pansy was snickering over how absolutely dumbfounded Draco had looked when Professor McGonagall had pointed out that the boy hadn’t even opened the book he had claimed to read, you rather felt sorry for the fellow Slytherin.

“Don’t be so hard on him, Pansy, I´m sure there was a reason that he was so distracted in that lesson.”

“So? If we all wouldn’t have to work just because we have a reason not to do so, I wouldn´t be present in half of the classes.”

“Oh please, what good reason would you have to miss our lessons?”

“They bore me.”, Pansy sighed out dramatically. “And the people annoy me.”

“Even though I totally understand, I´m rather sure that this is not a valid reason.”, you giggled.

“And what do you think Draco´s oh-so-mysterious, understandable and totally important excuse was?”

You shrugged your shoulders. Because even though Draco and you already knew each other for several years and you were rather close – at least by Draco´s standards – and you were quite curious about what had been on the boy´s mind earlier, you had absolutely no idea what could have distracted him that much that he would forget absolutely everything around him.

“You really have no idea?”, Pansy asked, as she glanced at you, looking almost irritated. “Absolutely none?”

“Do you?”, you responded.

Now it was on Pansy to shrug her shoulders, while her gaze dropped down to her lap, and she started fiddling with her hands.

“But regardless of that,”, you continued, not even noticing how Pansy relaxed next to you when you dropped the topic, “I think McGonagall was too hard on him. I mean, we all zone out from time to time, don´t we? And she really didn’t need to give him that much of extra work. That´s just unfair. Especially because she knows for sure that Draco has training today. If she already wants to give him some extra work, she could at least have given him some more time, don’t you think?”

But before Pansy could open her mouth to agree with you, the door opened, and a rather annoyed-looking Draco entered the common room. The frown he held on his face, however, softened immediately, the second he spotted Pansy and you sitting on one of the couches. Quickly, he made his way over to you - not without barking at some first years, standing in his way – and let himself fall on the couch as well, directly next to you.

“For real? In your jersey?”, you frowned. Not that you actually had something against the blond boy wearing his Quidditch uniform, that looked unfairly good on him, actually it was quite the opposite, but the last thing you needed today was some mud smudged over the couches and – due to the fact Draco had by now wrapped an arm around your shoulder – also all over your clothes.

But Draco only gave you a smug grin.

“Relax, love. I already showered and put on a new one. Only for you obviously. I know how much you like to see me in it.”, he winked.

You cursed the moment you had admitted to the blond boy in a moment of weakness that you actually thought that he looked rather good in his jersey. This, however, had been in your second year at Hogwarts, when Draco had joined the team and had been really nervous about his first actual game. And even though you had only said it back then to calm him down – and because it was the truth after all – until this very day, several years later, Draco still loved to remind you of the fact that you had called him handsome back then at every chance.

“If you say so.”, you grumbled.

Still, you finally relaxed into his arms and shuffled a bit closer. You had to actively keep yourself from inhaling his scent deeply. You simply adored it. For you, it felt like home. Simple as that.

“I guess that´s my call.”, Pansy grinned, as she got on her feet. “Enjoy your time, you two.”

You looked at your friend with narrowed eyes.

“Why you wanna leave? We still got some time before dinner.”

“Yeah, but I really don’t want to disturb the two of you.”, she winked.

“You know you could never disturb us, Pansy.”, you laughed, while Draco muttered something incomprehensible under his breath.

“Also, I am very sure that Blaise needs my help with… something. See you around.”

And with that, Pansy disappeared quickly, leaving Draco and you behind.

“That was strange, wasn’t it?”, you asked the boy next to you, who just shrugged his shoulders in response.

“It´s Pansy. What did you expect?”

You nudged him.

“Careful, that´s my friend you´re talking about. And yours too, by the way.”

“And that´s exactly why I´m allowed to say this. But even when it comes to my so-called friends, I´m thankful for every second that I´m able to steal you from them and have you all for myself.”

You felt the familiar blush creeping onto your cheeks that always appeared whenever Draco made some snarky remarks that could make you suspect that after all, you were something special to him. Just like he was to you. And that bastard was fully aware of the effect he had on you and used it to tease you endlessly about it. Just like he did now. And the only way you knew to answer this was with a just as big smirk as he always held on his face when he told you those things.

“Of course you do. Everyone does. I´m just adorable.”, you said, puffing your chest as much as it was possible now that you were trapped in Draco´s arms.

Said boy just sighed and placed a small kiss on the crown of your head, making you shiver.

“Oh, you have no idea, love.”

But just as you wanted to melt into Draco´s embrace, you felt him tense next to you and curse under his breath.

You sat up again slightly and turned your head to look at him.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”, Draco sighed, but the lines of worries showed you differently. “Just that stupid homework from McGonagall. I still have to write almost half a role.” He let out another sigh before he pulled you close again. “But that can wait. Right now, I´m exactly where I want to be.”

Even though his words flattered you, you wiggled out of his arms and sat up straight.

“You might be where you want to be but not where you are supposed to. That woman will let you serve detention until the end of the year if you don´t hand in that essay until tomorrow. And I certainly won´t let you pull an all-nighter.”

“This is going to be an all-nighter anyway, love.”, Draco contradicted, but you shook your head in response.

“Not if I´ll help you.”

“(Y/n), no. You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”, you pouted.

Draco let out a small laugh.

“Oh please! Nobody wants to work on Transfiguration voluntarily.”

“See what I´m willing to do just to spend some more time with you?”, you winked. “Now, c´mon. If we go to the library now we´ll still be able to work for an hour until dinner.”

And if you wouldn’t have been so determined to help Draco out and wouldn’t have strode away with long steps without even waiting for a response, you would have seen how Draco blushed vigorously at your words, justifying that he let you help him not with the fact that he was desperate to spend some more time with you, but reasoning that somehow this extra homework was your fault after all.

You had been wrong. Until it was time for dinner, several centimetres of the parchment were still empty, the blank space promising an all-nighter after all. Even though you might had even been able to finish the task completely, if it wouldn’t have been for Draco getting distracted by the very same thing that had gotten him into sitting here in the first place. Because just as it had been back in class, also here, in the dim light of the candles flickering on the walls, the Slytherin couldn’t help but notice how absolutely perfect you were. And because of that, the quill in Draco´s hand was hovering uselessly over the parchment most of the time, while its owner was busy staring at you, while you flicked through the pages of some books, providing Draco with some information you considered as potentially useful. Unfortunately, most of the words you were saying weren’t even processed by Draco´s mind. No, he was too busy staring at the movement of your lips when you spoke, the way your eyes mirrored the glimmering of the candlelight around you, the slight frown you held on your face when you tried to filter the most important information from the books in front of you, the way your fingers caressed the pages of the old books tenderly and how you…

“Draco? Draco are you even listening?”

The boy let out a quiet groan. Apparently, everything that could go wrong today would also proceed to do so. Because how should he explain to you that while you did your best to help him and sacrifice your free time to do so, he acted ungrateful and didn’t even listen to you without giving away the reason he simply couldn’t concentrate on anything at all as long as you were in the same room as him?

Draco ran a hand over his face before he nodded.

“Of course I am. Go ahead.”

But instead of doing so, you leaned back in your chair and eyed your friend closely.

“It was a tough day for you, wasn’t it?”, you asked, your voice sounding so much more compassionate than Draco thought he deserved.

And while with everyone else, Draco would have firmly denied that he had bad days at all, or would have blamed everyone else but him for everything that had gone wrong today, when it came to you, he simply couldn’t bring himself to argue. So instead, he just shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

But before you could answer, a boy walked up to your table, letting himself fall onto the chair next to you.

“Here you are.”, the Slytherin said, eyes fixed on Draco before he turned around to you. “Fancy to see you too, (Y/n).”

You smiled at him.

“Likewise, Adrian.”

Adrian Pucey mirrored your smile before his attention shifted to Draco again.

“Flint asked me to look for you. After the training today was… expendable, he wants us to meet up after dinner once more to talk about our tactic. At the pitch at nine.”

You saw the indecisiveness in Draco´s eyes as they flickered in between the parchment in front of him, still waiting to get filled by the words he so desperately needed to put down, and the older Slytherin. You knew Draco well enough to know that the boy was fully aware of where he had to set his priorities today, yet you also knew that he most likely wouldn’t dare to contradict Adrian and therefore Marcus Flint, who happened to be the Quidditch captain, himself.

So before Draco could even open his mouth, you quickly stepped in.

“Draco can´t join you tonight.”

The two boys looked at you with irritation, even though you liked to think that Draco looked also thankful at your words.

Adrian raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“So the two of you finally managed to get your act together and go on a date?”, he asked with a cheeky grin. “I´m sorry, (Y/n), but I´m afraid Marcus won´t let this slide as an excuse. Even if it´s a pretty girl like you.”

You let out a small laugh.

“Charming, Adrian, but Draco and I actually have a date tonight.” If you would have paid more attention to Draco than his teammate at that moment, you would have seen how the boy tensed in his chair, trying to hide all the emotion in his eyes at the mere thought of the two of you finally being together in a way, he had always wanted you to be. However, your gaze was fixed on Adrian, as you added: “Just the two of us and a dozen Transfiguration books. I guess you heard what Professor McGonagall did today?”

Adrian nodded, looking at Draco compassionately.

“And there´s no way you can delay the deadline?”

“Not if we want to make sure that dragon won´t let me serve detention during our next game against Gryffindor.”, Draco spit out through gritted teeth. “I bet she´s only been waiting for a chance like this.”

Adrian sighed in defeat.

“Screw it, we can´t risk that. And Flint´s gonna think the same. I´ll talk to him. Maybe you can meet up tomorrow before the next training to give you a summary. But for now, I´ll leave you alone so you can continue this.” He gestured at the books splattered on the table in front of you before he stood up. “Good luck with this. And (Y/n),” He turned around to you, a playful smirk playing around his lips. “Since what Draco and you are doing here is for strictly academic reasons, does that mean I still stand a chance?”

You couldn’t help the blush that crept on your cheeks at his words. It wasn’t like you were actually interested in the older boy, not at all, and you highly doubted that Adrian´s words were anything but a tease, still, his words flattered you.

“Keep on dreaming, Pucey.”, you giggled, not quite able to look him into the eyes, as you were still focused on trying to hide your blush.

“Maybe I will.”, he winked.

But before he could add something, Draco interrupted him.

“Now get lost, Pucey! We still got work to do.”, he barked, his eyes shimmering coldly as he stared at your housemate.

Adrian raised his hands in defence.

“Don´t worry. I´m already gone. She´s all yours.”, he said, before he actually turned around and walked away, leaving Draco and you finally alone again.

When the boy was gone, you slammed the book in front of you shut with a heavy sigh.

“I think we should leave it for now as well. We can continue after dinner in the common room. But now I need something to eat. And I think you do too.”

You looked at the Slytherin sitting on the other side of the table in expectation of a response, but it seemed like Draco hadn’t even heard what you had been saying. Blankly, he stared at the spot Adrien had stood only moments ago, with an intelligible expression on his face.

“Draco? Draco, did you hear me?”, you asked, your eyes flickering between the Slytherin and the blank spot next to you.

“Why did he say this?”, Draco suddenly asked, not even answering your question.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion.

“Who said what?”

“Pucey. This thing about standing a chance with you. Why did he say that?”

You let out an uncertain laugh, not sure why Draco was bringing this up now.

“I don´t know. He was just joking I guess.”, you shrugged.

Draco nodded, still not looking at you.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?”

The laugh that escaped you now, was genuine.

“Adrian and me? Salazar no! Why would you think that?”

“But you get along great, don´t you?”, Draco pressed.

“Yeah. Yeah, I suppose so. I wouldn’t say we are close or anything, but he´s nice. I like him.”

Finally, Draco tore his gaze apart from the blank spot and instead looked at you. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat as his grey eyes raked yours, nothing in his face giving away what he was thinking.

“You like him?”, he spat, stressing the second word as if it was something nasty lying on his tongue.

“Why are you so surprised about it? I mean, he´s everything a Slytherin is supposed to be. Smart and cunning. Plus, he´s a great Quidditch player and he´s actually quite nice, isn’t he?”

“So? Aren´t I all of those things too?”

There it was. After all, his strange behaviour could be once more explained by his pride. Obviously, Draco was all these things as well. Hell, he was so much more than this. And you loved every single part of him. However, his behaviour was from time to time rather… challenging. But you didn’t mind the slightest. Because, unlike many other people, you knew how to deal with it.

You smiled at the boy calmingly.

“Obviously you are. And that is why I like you as well. Well, at least to name a few things.”

Something in Draco´s eyes changed, his anger seemed to subside and made place for something else. Yet, once again, you weren’t quite sure how to read it. Because while Draco seemed to be soothed by your words, there was also a sadness lingering behind the small smile he threw you.

“So, that´s all there is?”, he asked.

You nodded.

“That´s all there is. No earth-shattering friendship. And “, you added after a moment of hesitation, “Also nothing else. No romantic interest or whatever you have been trying to imply.”

“I didn’t imply anything. That´s what you were construing, love.”, Draco answered, with a sly grin on his face, but you noticed how he visibly relaxed into his chair again. A reaction, that made your heart flutter in your chest, just as the stupid nickname he called you from time to time.

But before you could think about any potential deeper meaning behind his words, Draco stood up from his chair and stretched his stiff limbs, a view that made a small sigh leave your lips involuntarily.

“We should really leave for dinner now, don’t you think? I´m already starving.”

“Sure. Great idea, Draco. Why didn’t I think of that?”, you smiled, trying to fight the ironic undertone in your voice. You didn’t quite manage to, but Draco didn’t seem to notice, with his wand he already conducting all the books to their firm places.

“That´s what I´m here for. Always happy to help you, love.”

“What would I only do without you?”, you sighed dramatically.

“Your life would definitely be so much more miserable.”

“Well, I´m afraid I can never allow you to walk out of my life then.”, you smiled at him.

“As if I ever wanted you to.”, Draco muttered under his breath. Only a faint sound in your ears, like the whispering of the wind, and you weren’t quite sure if you had just imagined it. You just really hoped you didn’t.

After dinner, Draco and you were finally able to work on his essay effectively. This was mainly due to the fact that Draco strictly forbade himself to even look at you once until he would have finished the last stroke of his quill.

It was almost midnight when Draco finally set the last dot, ending exactly at the end of the final line. He dropped the quill next to the parchment and leant back in his chair with a heavy sigh.

“And McGonagall really thought this would be a challenge for me. I bet that crazy cat lady was only hoping I would fail so she could get me to serve detention for the rest of the year. But I´m a Malfoy after all. It takes more than a stupid essay to get me down. Don´t you think so too, (Y/n)?”

When you didn’t answer, Draco glanced to the side, where you were sitting. Even when Draco was done with the research you had helped him out with and only had to write the conclusion and had offered you that you could already go to bed, you had refused to do so, suggesting you could proofread the essay after he was done. And even though Draco had assured you that you didn’t have to and if you really wanted to, you could also do so the next morning, you had told him with a shrug of your shoulders that you would wait for him anyway. You were rather sure that you couldn’t fall asleep knowing that while you were lying in your cosy bed, Draco was still up and working on his homework. And that´s what you had told him too, even though you had had to suppress a yawn when you did so.

But now that Draco looked at you, he realized that for once in your life, you had actually been wrong. You could easily fall asleep while he was still working. Because here you were, proofing yourself wrong. A small smile crept on Draco´s lips as he watched you, your head bedded on your arms that you had crossed over the last book you had been reading. You faced Draco, but your eyes were closed, your lips slightly parted, as you breathed steadily. The boy felt a wave of affection washing over him, as he saw you sound asleep like this. Because even though you hadn’t stayed awake like you had promised, you had stayed with him. You had rather fought the sleep by his side until you had eventually lost the battle, than returning to your dorm, leaving him alone. And after all; how could he feel anything else but adoration when you were looking so perfect, even in your sleep. So beautiful and carefree, making Draco believe that even with all the bad things happening in this world, everything would turn out just fine, as long as you would just exist?

He could have sat there all night, watching you sleep, but eventually, the thought settled in, that if you would stay like this for hours, in a probably rather uncomfortable position, your shoulders crouched and your neck twisted, you would wake up in the morning with stiff limbs and probably in pain. And that was something he couldn’t bear to see. Not after everything that you had done for him today. Quickly, Draco considered his possibilities. He couldn’t leave you like this, especially not all by yourself, but he also couldn’t get you to your dorm, since if he would try carrying you up the stairs, he would probably fall and break both of your necks. The Slytherin´s gaze wandered through the by now completely abandoned common room, until it settled on one of the couches. It surely wasn’t perfect, not good enough for you, but it would do for a night.

Draco made his way through the room to the couch, fluffing up the pillows and got the cosiest blanket ready, before he walked back to you. Careful and anxious to wake you up, Draco picked you up, freezing when you slightly shifted in his arms, but you only let out a small sigh, before you melted into his touch, not opening your eyes once.

Finally, Draco reached the couch, laying you down, loosening the tie that you were still wearing around your neck in accordance with the dress code and tucking you in. When he had made sure that you were as comfortable as possible, Draco stopped in his tracks for a second to take in the sight of you. Carefully, he brushed some strands of your hair out of your face, having to resist the urge to press a kiss on your temple.

“Sweet dreams, love.”, he mumbled, before he went to one of the armchairs nearby, and sat down as well. He wouldn’t leave you alone tonight, not only because he just couldn’t bring himself to leave you yet, wanting to be in your presence for as long as possible, but also because he couldn’t bear the thought that you wake up, alone and irritated, confused on how you had gotten there, being all by yourself. No, Draco would be there when you would wake up. He would always be there for you, no matter what. That was the last thought on Draco´s mind before he slowly drifted off into sleep as well, the image of you sleeping angelically on the couch still in sight, even when his eyes were already closed.

When you woke up, you needed a moment to orientate yourself. Only when your eyes got used to the dim light surrounding you, you realised that you were not in your bed, but in the common room. Slowly, the memories of the last evening started to set in. But some parts were missing. You still remembered how you had been sitting at one of the desks with Draco and waiting for him to finish his essay. At some point, your eyes had gotten more and more heavy, but you had refused to close them. You were rather sure that at some point you had failed and fallen asleep.

This however didn’t explain why right now, you were lying on one of the couches, covered with a blanket, while the fire in the fireplace had almost burned down, the only source of light being the embers, still gleaming inside. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, before letting your gaze wander around the room. That´s when it settled on a figure sunken down in one of the armchairs not far away from you, their blond hair reflecting the shimmer of the ember.

You felt the warmth flushing through your body as you watched Draco sitting there, his head resting in one of his hands, a small frown on his face, even though he was sleeping. By now you could somewhat imagine what had happened after you had fallen asleep and the mere thought of Draco taking care of you, making sure you were comfortable, before he passed out in the chair himself, exhausted from the hard and long day, made your heart beating faster in a way only Draco could do. If that boy only knew what his random acts of kindness did to you.

But as you were watching him, mesmerized by the view and lost in your thoughts, arguing with yourself whether you should wake him up so Draco could actually get to bed or just let him sleep where he was right now, the boy stirred in his sleep, before slowly opening his eyes, and straightening up in his chair with a yawn.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”, you smiled, and Draco´s head spun around, the confused look on his face giving place to a grin.

“Says you, love. An entire herd of trolls could have clumped through the room and you would have still slept like a baby.”

“Can you blame me?”, you yawned.

Draco shook his head, still smiling.

“Not at all. But that´s why you should really go to bed now. We need to get at least some hours of sleep.”

With a heavy sigh, you let yourself fall back onto the couch and looked at Draco with puppy eyes.

“But I´m so comfy right now.”

The Slytherin arched an eyebrow.

“More comfortable than your bed?”

“Warmer. And also,”, you cuddled yourself deeper into the blanket, “You are here.”

Oh, if you only knew what your words did to the poor boy´s heart. But instead of telling you, Draco only grinned cockily at you.

“But maybe I want to go to bed.”

“Or you could just join me here.”, you teased him even though you made your voice sound as innocent as possible before you added in a more serious voice: “Unless you actually want to leave. I get it. It was a long day and if you want to go to bed…”

But you hadn’t even finished the sentence before Draco stood up and walked up to you with long strides. Lucky for him, you didn’t even notice how wobbly his legs felt when he walked up to you, praying he wouldn’t stumble over his own feed, and how relieved he was when he finally sat down next to you. You huddled closer to Draco, who wrapped an arm around you and sighed.

“You know I just can´t turn you down, no matter what you ask from me, don´t you?”

You felt your cheeks heating.

“You´re just too good for me, Draco.”, you smiled.

And you meant it. You knew over all Draco surely wasn’t what people would describe as the good guy, but to you, he was just perfect. And the way he treated you was so much more than you could ever ask for. If you only knew what you did to deserve it.

“There´s nothing as too good when it comes to you, love.”, the Slytherin smiled, before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head, making chills run down your spine.

“No, I mean it. You are. You are perfect in every way. And I have absolutely no idea why you are doing all of this for me.”

A low chuckle rumbled in Draco´s chest.

“You really are that clueless, aren’t you?”

You sat up a bit straighter to look at Draco properly. There was amusement shimmering in his eyes, that were otherwise filled with so much adoration that it made you forget everything else around you. You narrowed your eyes, as you scanned his delicate features.

“Care to enlighten me then?”

If it wasn’t for your own blood swooshing in your ears, you would have probably heard Draco´s heart beating so strong he was afraid it might just jump out of his chest any second.

“Think about it, love.” He stressed the nickname in a way he had never done before. It had always rolled from his tongue so easily, but this time its weight was lying heavily on you. “For what reason do you think I am doing all of this?” Your breath got stuck in your throat as Draco raised his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek, before he tucked some strands of hair behind your ear, his hand coming to a halt there, fingers tangled in your hair. “For what reason do you think I always want to be near you?” His gaze flickered over your face, scanning all your different features closely, as if he wanted to memorize them forever. “For what reason do you think I get so distracted in a goddamn class by how absolutely beautiful you are that I´m not even able to do my work and even when I have to face the consequences I still rather spend my time looking at you and listening to your voice than dealing with it, even if this will only get me into more trouble?” Was that what had happened? Had Draco actually been so distracted by your sheer existence that he just couldn’t bring himself to care about the class anymore? “And why do you think I got so upset when fucking Pucey had nothing better to do than flirt with you when all I wanted was to spend some time with you?” Draco let out a shaky laugh. “Do you have any idea how hard it was not to hex him then and there? Because trust me, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Maybe the only thing harder than this…” His eyes finally came to a halt, meeting yours, so you could see all the raw emotions lying within them before his gaze dropped to your lips, where it stilled. “The only thing harder than this is to be around you every day, acting as if we are nothing but friends when all I want to do is to hold you and kiss you and to tell you how much I love you and continue to do so for the rest of my life.” Draco let out a breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding, resting his forehead against yours. “Because it´s the hardest thing in the world, loving someone so much, who is just so oblivious to absolutely everything you say or do.”

Until that very day, you had no idea that a heart could stop beating and hammering in your chest so fast at the same time, but this was exactly what was happening to you right now. All the emotions flushing through you were way too much but at the same time you knew it would never be enough. Not when it came to Draco. Your voice was only a whisper, but you were just relieved that you still had one at all, when you whispered: “Maybe you should just stop pretending then. Because maybe this is all that she is hoping for.”

Draco hummed in response.

“But maybe this is just so much more than I could ever hope for. So much more than I deserve.”

“You deserve to be happy, Draco. And when it comes to me – I´m willing to do whatever I need to just so you can be.”

“Stay with me, then.”, he whispered against your lips, his voice sounding husky. “That´s all I need.”

You nodded.

“I will.”

And when your lips finally met Draco´s all the doubts either of you had ever had just vanished into the air. Because you both were certain that this was right where you belonged. Nothing that felt as good as this kiss could ever be anything but just how things were supposed to be. Within seconds, the world fell into place for you, Draco asked himself how he could have ever doubted that you didn’t love him the same way he had loved you ever since he could remember and you wondered about how you could have ever mistaken Draco´s behaviour for anything but what it actually was. Love. A love that had built up over all those years the two of you had been friends, something you had always known had been there but had never acted on, something that had grown just so much stronger with every single thing the two of you had been through and a love that would continue to grow with everything that you would witness together from this very second on.

When finally, Draco pulled away from you and looked into your starstruck eyes, he couldn’t help the sly grin that made it to his face.

“And you really had no idea?”

You shook your head, the blush on your cheeks only deepened.

“Merlin, (Y/n), how oblivious can one be?”

“Maybe you should just stop beating around the bush from time to time and just tell me what´s going on, Malfoy.”, you returned.

Draco chuckled and placed a small kiss on your temple.

“Fair enough.”, he agreed.

You raised an eyebrow in response.

“Really? That´s it? No arguing? No distraction? No teasing? Merlin Draco, do I need to be worried?”

“Don’t get fooled by it. This is only for tonight. I have a lifetime to do all of those things now. Because I can promise you that now I have witnessed this once, I will never let you go again.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

“What have I only gotten myself into?”, you groaned, but at the same time, you got more comfortable in Draco´s arms again, feeling the tiredness slowly sneaking back into your body that had been forgotten over everything that Draco had told you before.

“Don´t tell me you would want it any other way.”, Draco grinned, as he pulled you even closer.

And oh, he was so right with that.

“Don´t you dare, Blaise!”

“What? You want them to be late for class?”

“Just give them five more minutes.”

“What difference does that make?”

“It gives me time to fetch (Y/n)´s silly muggle camera and capture this moment for eternity. “

“You wouldn’t let them forget anyway.”

“Obviously I wouldn´t. I have to tease them about this for the rest of their lives.”

“Admit it, Pansy, you only want to do so because they look just adorable.”

“Well, maybe. A little bit. But that doesn’t mean I can´t use it against them.”

And Pansy and Blaise were right. Draco and you, cuddled up under a blanket on one of the couches in the common room, Draco´s arms wrapped around you, and your head resting on his chest, the morning sun shining through the window was a lovely sight indeed. And even though Draco would claim to hate his friends for showing around the pictures later everywhere, telling everyone an absolutely heartwarming and totally made-up story about how the two of you had ended up there, secretly he was thankful that they did. Because like that they showed everyone that you were finally his, just like he had always been yours. And maybe – just maybe – he would keep a copy of the picture in his nightstand and in the nights he didn’t sneak down to the common room to cuddle with you until the sun would rise again, he would pull it out, staring at the picture of you in his arms, both of you with a faint smile on your lips, until he would fall asleep. But honestly, he couldn’t wait for a time when he wouldn’t need a photo anymore to look at you, because you would fall asleep next to him every single night and he could just look at you instead. Because who needed a picture when the reality was just so much better than all the dreams he used to have about it, back when he hadn’t even had the faintest idea that not even the best ones would come close to the feeling of actually having you in his arms?

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes @dmslvt @Slytherin4eva @foulkryptonitepeanut @chillcheesecake @pottertea @webswatts @jaiistg @angelofasgard16

[jennaimmortal]

Musings on OFMD Season 2

I’m feeling a bit sad today for the OFMD writers. After rewatching S1 & 2 a couple times, it’s become blatantly clear to me that Izzy’s arc this season was a very obvious love letter to both Izzy fans & the great Con O’Neil. Izzy was very clearly written to be an obstacle to Ed’s healing & personal growth, a snare that Ed needed to be freed from, albeit with plenty of nuance hiding under the surface. It would have been much easier for them to kill Izzy off while he was still the toxic, abusive, sadomasochistic terror of S1E10.

Instead of taking the easy route, though, the writers flipped the trope on its head! They utilized every bit of the potential buried beneath Izzy’s super fucked up shell. This season Izzy got

• a fully fleshed out redemption complete with terrible consequences of his 1x10 actions

• a realization of the possibility of another way of thinking & existing that he’d spent all of S1 running from & trying to destroy,

• genuine love & support from his crew mates which he was actually able to accept,

• exploration of the long abandoned softer side of his nature,

• an apology from Ed w/o first offering one of his own,

• a powerful, devastatingly poignant speech that mentally demolished a new nemesis, and finally

• a beautiful, meaningful death in the arms of the man he’d dedicated so much of his life to, known that he was truly loved by him & completely accepting of the fact that Ed’s love was not in the form he’d always hoped for.

It was so much more than we could have hoped for, and was very obviously done in service to the MANY fans that had fallen in love with Izzy even after S1, as well as to give Con a storyline worthy of his immense talent. Considering the face that Izzy was never going to end up becoming the show’s third protagonist, it was more than we could have hoped for!

OFMD has two protagonists, Stede & Ed. All the secondary character narratives that haven’t directly involved Ed and/or Stede have been icing on the cake, but the cake has always been the Gentlebeard love story. I feel like some people forget this, expecting them to treat the secondary characters as if it were an ensemble show instead of a show with leads.

Izzy’s arc really was an amazing gift! The writers gave us this incredible journey for Izzy this season, and what did a disgraceful number of people do? They attacked David directly, insulted the entire show, the writers, & other characters, even wishing actual harm & misery to other characters or even to David himself!

While I know that comparatively speaking, the percentage of show fans who reacted this way was relatively small, it was still an astounding amount of hatred & vitriol thrown at the people who had obviously worked very hard to give Izzy fans something beautiful to hold on to after his inevitable death. Much of the discourse honestly shocked me, considering the fact that OFMD isn’t even an adaptation of another work.

When fans get angry at shows written as adaptations of books, it’s a bit more understandable for them to have extreme reactions. They’ve had certain ideas and headcanons about characters they’ve felt very strongly about for a long time. It can be really jarring & painful when expectations like that aren’t met, the characters or plots are taken in totally different directions, or even excluded entirely.

OFMD, however, is an original creation. This is David Jenkins’s story. These are David Jenkins’s characters. He knows his story, his plotlines, his characters far better than anyone else does because they came from HIS brain! So while we as fans can have our own interpretations & head canons, they are always going to be at risk of being proven totally wrong by the ACTUAL canon.

One of the worst aspects of fandoms, in my opinion, is the way people become so proprietary over the story & characters, insisting that their own interpretations & theories are the only correct ones, which is exactly what happened with Izzy. Fans’ individual & collective interpretations, theories, hopes, & other head canons became concrete & true in their minds. So much so that when the actual story didn’t meet those expectations, so many of them lashed out in some truly unpleasant, sometimes hateful ways.

My only hope is that the rest of the fandom’s love, appreciation, constructive criticism, heartbreak, pain, joy, & excitement has been enough to drown out the deluge of vitriolic comments directed at David & the other writers.

If you stuck with me through this unintentionally long diatribe, thank you! Maybe take a moment to give the writers some comments or replies on social media, showing your love! I know I will!

[ravencincaide]

Happy unhappy home!  

Summar: Soukou think you may be suffering from postpartum depression. Something you strongly disagree with. How dare they suggest you’re an incompetent mother and a threat to your children when they haven’t been around for months! Surely, they must have a different agenda behind their accusation? 

Pairing: New parents! Dazai x Chuuya x Fem! Reader!  (SKK x Fem! reader)

Inspired by Sweetober prompt 12: Chaste Kiss   

Warnings: Cursing, Postpartum depression, light hint at maternal filicide, angst and disappointment, angst

Author note: An independent part two for Desperate times call for Desperate measures. Check that fic out if you’d like more angst, new parents and see more of what happened before this scene! 

Enjoy  

______________________________________________________________

The alarm was ringing.  

It had been ringing for the past twenty minutes. A dull monotone sound that had reached its maximum amplitude sometime between minute five and eight, leaving the clock to just screech and nervously buzz closer and closer to the dresser's edge. Another loud ring followed by metallic duns as the clock jumped to its death off the bedside table, finally growing silent.  

Slowly you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, forcing your eyes open. You ran your hands over your face, heaving a heavy exhausted sigh. You were literally keeping your eyelids open with your fingers to prevent them from shutting and falling back asleep inside the hard spare bed in the shoesize room. You felt so-so drained and yet you had gotten a decent six hours of uninterrupted rest last night. Without Dazai or Chuuya craving your attention or bringing the twins to you when they became too much.  

Truly six hours of sleep was a miracle.  

Though now that morning came all you felt was a dull frustration. At that moment you did not know what was worse; the fact that you had to get up and face the day. Starting with preparing breakfast for the twins and your lovers, or the mild annoyance of having to go and buy yet another bloody alarm clock.   

At least the babies weren’t fussing. Yet.  

With great effort you dragged yourself out of bed and haphazardly put some day-old clothes on. Hair up in a bun while on the toilet and a quick wash of your face with cold water and you were ready to get started in the kitchen. You needed to put up coffee, blitz some fruit and think about a more adult-suitable breakfast. Porridge was hated by both Dazai and Chuuya but approved by the babies, while omelet was liked by no one but you. Yet another day of sandwiches was out of the option. That left you with pancakes. Glancing at the clock in the living room on your way to the kitchen, you hurriedly picked up your pace.  

Pancakes were doable- if you hurried up.   

Once you got to the kitchen you let out a low groan of frustration. The sink was full of bottles from the nightly feedings wedged between midnight snack dishes and crusty cups of coffee that had finally made their way out of your partner's room and into the kitchen sink. The espresso machine was demanding a new water filter, and you did not even want to think what the splotches and sticky mess on the counter and kitchen table were.  

For a second you didn’t know where to start- then as stress set in you felt your body come alive. You were practically tearing yourself between doing dishes, making the pancake batter and wiping the counter.  When the two non-stick pans on the stove were warming up, you ran the cleaning program on the espresso machine. Then as the pancakes fried, you wiped the table and blitzed fruit for the babies. You set up cups, cutlery and plates in between flipping the pancakes.  

Just as the first batch of pancakes were finished and the coffee machine was brewing the first cup, you heard the heavy shuffling of feet into the kitchen. You ignored them as you proceeded to whip up another batch of pancakes- realizing you made far too little to feed double black. Halfway through cracking the eggs, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist.  

“You’re up early, Sweets” Chuuya yawned in your ear before placing a chase kiss on your shoulder.  

“Morning” you replied dryly, moving out of the embrace. You were fully focused on flipping the pancakes with one hand while mixing the batter with the second. “Coffee’s ready I think” you muttered, out of the corner of your eye watching a zombie looking Dazai reach for the hot cup, muttering a halfhearted morning and thanks in one breath.  

You heard Chuuya sigh heavily, disappointed, before going over to the coffee machine and brewing another cup. As the machine skimmed the milk and ground the beans, Chuuya got into a half bicker, half quiet discussion with Dazai about something. Not too long after, the two settled down at the table a few paces away continuing the hushed discussion.  

They didn’t even bother to ask- let alone step up to help you. Jerks.  

“Are you absolutely sure this is legit? And how the hell are we supposed to fill it in anyways” You heard Chuuya hiss at Dazai, making you turn your head in question towards them. You saw the two of them staring at what looked like a thick stack of papers between them- no doubt some kind of work-related report. Probably an evaluation of the new recruits or something. 

“ Of course it’s legit- I’m not an idiot like you.” Dazai stated matter of factly pointing something out on the sheets of paper with a half broken- half chewed on ink pen.  

“ Who the hell are you calling an idiot- you extra stuff that comes with bandages!” Chuuya snapped back but settled down the second he noticed your eyes on them.  

You felt your lips turn down in a frown as you flipped another bunch of pancakes: So, fucking typical. With them it was either work or the twins. While you were still just this ‘something’ that did everything around the house with little to no gratitude or help. Right then you felt like the extra stuff that comes with babies. A ghost- boggart- in your own home.   

You had just finished making pancakes when you heard a wail from upstairs. The babies had woken up. Instantly you turned off the stove: wiping your hands on a cloth you rushed upstairs to get the twins. After all, those picture-perfect fathers were not so perfect until after breakfast.  

You returned a few moments later, placing the babies in their highchairs. Then you put small bowls with mashed fruits in front of them in different cups. Yet another attempt at introducing solids into their diet. Then back to the kitchen, returning a few seconds later.  

“Here!” You dropped the two plates of pancakes in front of your so-called partners, not caring either about the loud clang the plates made against the wooden table, or the way the food slid off them. Or the way the twins clapped their hands in glee at the loud noise. You went back to the kitchen, moving things into the sink to make it easier to wash up later, while turning on the kettle for tea.  

A hot cup of chamomile or melissa tea sounded heavenly at that moment.  

Hearing the children's fuss, you abandoned both dishes and tea; rushing back towards the dining table, where Chuuya and Dazai mouths were stuffed with food. Their attention was divided between the stack of papers in front of them and the twins that were eagerly reaching for their fathers' pancakes. You felt another wave of irritation wash over you- a bitter kind of anger that you bit back before you said something you would regret. Instead, you fixed all of them with a warning look, making sure that neither Dazai nor Chuuya shared their breakfast with the twins. The last thing you needed that morning was to pull pancakes out of the children's noses.  

“Sweetheart, aren’t you going to eat anything?” Chuuya asked suddenly, sounding concerned as he watched you come closer to the table and take a seat beside the children.  

“I’m not hungry” you growled through squeezed teeth as you picked up the small plastic spoon and began trying to feed them mashed berries. After a few moments of screwed faces and the fruit going everywhere besides inside the children's mouth, you dropped the small spoon back into the colorful cup and looked up at the ceiling. You were blinking away tears of frustration. How fucking hard was this supposed to be? 

Not hard if you were to ask the pediatrician! 

“Here let me try Belladonna” Dazai gave you a small smile as he picked up the spoon you had carelessly dropped back into the mash.  With some exaggerated motions and airplane noises, the children ate the mash without any issue. As if Dazai was feeding them formulas from a spoon. Soon Chuuya joined him, wiping their mouths and then burping them once the twins were done.  

The sight warmed your heart, but it also made you feel self-conscious- a failure somehow. Why hadn’t you thought of doing that? Wasn’t it a mother's instinct to know what to do and how to care for her children?  To have an inseparable bond. And yet it seemed Dazai and Chuuya were somehow closer to the twins- despite the fact that you were the one who did the majority of the nurturing duties. Were you perhaps- not equipped to be a parent?  

The thought lingered in your head as they all finished breakfast. It lingered through the playtime with children and even as you put the twins down for their nap. When they'd wake up, you’d need to bathe them, then dress them and take them for a little time outside. And then–  

“-Belladona?” you snapped out of your thoughts when you noticed that Dazai had been talking and trying to get your attention for the past minute or so.  

“Oh sorry, what did you say?” You asked as you draped the covers over the snoozing twins and headed towards your partner who was lingering in the door of the nursery.  

Dazai flashed you a nervous smile, one of his hands in his hair, trying to make himself look less awkward. “A moment of your time dalin?” he repeated himself. You frowned, unsure why he’d suddenly ask for your time so formally. Then as you saw him shift under your gaze you felt your eyes widen with realization and nodded quickly, eagerly and followed him back to the living room.  

You sat down on the couch opposite your lovers, a hopeful feeling in your chest. They looked so nervous, bumping shoulders against each other, flickering eyes, silent motions for one or the other to start. To an outsider they would have looked like composed mafioso's- to you they looked like a bunch of nervous teenagers. You held back a giggle, the sight reminding you so much of when they first asked you to be with them- then once again when they asked you to start living together.  

You almost felt nervous yourself. And excited. And anxious. Were they really going to finally–?  

“Sweetheart there’s something we’d like to ask- no discuss with you” Chuuya started, clearly having lost whatever silent banter he and Dazai were having above your head. You felt the palms of your hands grow damp- sweaty. Your heart was hammering in your chest. Your mouth dry- your ears ringing. It was finally happening, wasn’t it? You could barely contain your grin: 

“ You both know I’d say YE–” “– we think you might have postpartum depression”  

Your heart dropped to your stomach. Ice cold dread washed over you; making dark dots play in your vision. The disappointment on your face was clear. It seemed to throw both of them off guard for a moment. Like they couldn’t understand what it was you were hoping for- what you were so eager to say yes to. It took a moment for your mind to register what Chuuya said- but you certainly regained your composure quicker than either of them.   

“What?!” You snapped, narrowing your eyes dangerously at the pair, daring them to repeat themselves. “What did you just say?” 

They didn’t answer directly: Instead, they made a motion towards the stack of papers that they had been fiddling with all morning. They were laid out on the small table between you. Postpartum Assessment sheet with a bunch of ticked off boxes. You didn’t know what made you feel more insulted- that they assumed you had postpartum depression or the fact that they assessed you behind your back instead of coming and talking to you.  

You scoffed in response  

“We think you might have postpartum depression– it’s not uncommon. Especially in young, first-time mothers and–” You flew up from your seat silencing Dazai’s voice instantly.  

“No you’re just saying that because You are not around. Either of you! so it's just fucking easier to blame all the shortcomings and inadequacy on me than look at your own failures!” You began pacing, running your hands through your hair. You couldn’t believe it- that they could even think you were a threat to your own babies. To the children you birthed and raised and nurtured- stayed up nights and nights to care for. The ones you took to doctors and classes and sacrificed so much for. How fucking dare they even suggest that?! 

“ Sweetheart it isn’t..” Chuuya started. He had moved off the sofa and closer to you, hands reaching towards you, palms up. Something between an awkward attempt at a hug and reassuring you, he meant no harm.  

“No you’re right, it isn’t about that- is it? It’s cuz you want to take them away from me, right?! Want to take my babies away from me and start a partnership” Your eyes moved from Chuuya to Dazai who had remained awfully passive throughout your entire outburst. The fact that he was always absent with urgent work, then demanding Chuuya to come and help during missions suddenly made a lot more sense to you. 

Just like your bare ring finger.  

The thought stung. Instead of feeling anger however, you felt overwhelming sadness. A type of defeat that only came when you realized your own pitifulness- your own worthlessness. The naivety that those two would ever see you as their equal- a shared part of a whole. This realization left a bitter taste in your mouth; “You’ve gotten what you wanted- what you can’t create yourself- out of me and now you want to lock me up with a stamp of being incompetent? Forget it!”  

Chuuya gaped, his brain trying to come up with something that wouldn’t aggravate the situation further. He seemed to have an idea, a thought, but the words got stuck in his throat as your eyes went away from Dazai and back to him. 

Eyes full of icy fury.  

“I’m not giving them to you, not without a fight!” you snapped just as you heard the twins stirring. Their wails awakening a protective and possessive motherly instinct inside you. Without another word you brushed past Chuuya, bumping his shoulder purposefully on the way out of the living room.  

“That went brilliantly, simpleton” you heard Dazai’s voice but did not bother turning around as you headed upstairs to the twins. Out of the three of them you were the most competent to be a mother - a parent. If anyone was having ‘postpartum depression’ it was those two self-centered idiots.  

Going upstairs you picked the crying babies up and began pacing with them around the room, your mind still a jumbled mess as you pressed kisses to each of the twins' foreheads. God what were you supposed to do if they made you out to be so sick and incompetent, so you’d lose your parental rights and — and— you swallowed then shuddered as you heard your so-called partners yelling at each other downstairs. In panic you hurried to retreat to the safety of the bathroom.  

You made sure to lock the door, then barricade it.  

You took a step back from it, your heart in your throat. The children sensed your fear and wailed loudly in your arms. You shushed them quietly before going further into the bathroom. There you set the children down onto the floor only long enough to turn on the water in the bathtub in a feeble attempt to block out the bickering echoing from downstairs. You made sure the water was perfect temperature, then you hurried to pick the twins up and hugged them tightly to your chest, rocking backwards and forwards. The sound of your so-called partners' loud voices only fueled your fear and sadness. How dare they suggest you were incompetent. How dare they attempt to take these babies away from you. As if they’d be able to do a better job than you. To protect them from this cruel, cruel world! 

 No, you were not going to let Chuuya and Dazai take them away from you. Your twins- your joy. Your purpose in life.  But if they were truly serious about it– then you’d rather take yourself and your babies out of this world than risk putting them through the horrors of going even a day without their mother—.   _____________________________________________________ Update: Check out the next part A hit beyond rock bottom

All fics are unique works by ©ravencincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reposted/copied anywhere else without my consent, please inform me!

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on the Batch's Ending

Ooookay. This is going to be a long one. (Little note from Steph who just finished writing this: it’s nearly 3000 words…)

Tagging @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings and @eriexplosion because I value their thoughts (but I'm also not demanding that you read 3000 words of waffle)

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about the finale of The Bad Batch and honestly, my mind is a bit of a mess right now. One of the things I just want to try and tackle is how I feel about the ending of each Batch member individually, because while I can look at it and say “The Batch got a happy ending!”, I feel like that doesn’t really give me much of an idea of whether or not each character got an ending that I feel is fitting for their story arc.

So, this post is basically just going to be me unpicking the ending for each of the Batchers and working out how I feel about it (aka me trying to unscramble the mass load of thoughts going on in my head right now). 

Omega

Overall, I’m very happy with where Omega ended up. When you look back on how she was when we first met her, you realise just how much she has grown over the last few seasons. She didn’t just learn to be a part of the squad, she also learned how to look after herself. It isn’t just a development of her skillset, it’s also a growth in maturity, which allows her to have a clearer head and more rational decisions in the field. While Omega trusted her brothers to come and rescue her, she didn’t just sit around and wait for them, she hatched her own plan to not only get her and the other children out, but also help the Batch when they arrive at Tantiss.

Like Echo, she strongly believes in helping people and I love that that has carried through into her ending. While it would have been nice for her to live a quiet life, free of any more troubles, it makes complete sense for her to want to join the Rebellion. And I think it was at a good time as well. Omega got to spend the rest of her childhood being raised in a more peaceful, safe environment, before making the decision a few years down the line to go her own way. This is her leaving the nest and I think it was tackled incredibly well. You can see how she has taken on attributes from all of her brothers, and judging by her style choice, Phee as well. We see Omega using the support of her brothers to carve her own path and I love that.

Personally, I can’t really see a more fitting development in her story than this. And I’m reluctant to actually call it an ending because for her, this feels more like the beginning of a new chapter. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if we saw her again later down the road.

Hunter

Now those who follow me may be aware that Hunter was never my favourite member of the Batch. I didn’t dislike him, but I never really connected with him in the same way that I connected with all of the other characters. Saying that, it doesn’t mean I haven’t given a lot of thought to him and his character.

Hunter always had a lot on his shoulders. He was the leader of the Batch and that meant keeping a rag-tag group of defective clones in line, but it also left him with the belief that if anything were to happen to his squad, it would be his responsibility. So, with Crosshair and Omega stuck with the Empire, and Tech dead, Hunter had a lot to carry. At the beginning of Season 3 we saw that he had become more reckless and irrational, not really thinking about plans and wanting to jump straight into things. It was Wrecker who had to step in and make sure Hunter didn’t do anything stupid. Hunter felt like he lost control and that took a lot out of him, especially since this is something I think he could feel creeping up on him throughout Season 2, even if he tried to fight it. The Batch had started to make decisions without him, and Omega was forming close attachments to other people, which was digging a knife into Hunter’s fear of losing his squad. So S3 saw him trying everything he could to reunite the Batch, because he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.

And he achieved that. But what I also deeply appreciate is that we see Hunter accepting that Omega wants to go her own way. This was something he didn’t want happening for a long time, but once he accepted that she was capable of looking after herself, and once he accepted that he could never keep her tied in place forever, he supported Omega in her decision to join the Rebellion. Yes, he will always worry about her. He even tells her that she will always be their kid. But he knows that it’s time for her to carve her own path, and that means for him, finally letting go and accepting that Clone Force 99 will never be what it once was. 

Wrecker

Wrecker is an interesting one for me because he’s one of the few characters where I can’t really see a big step for his character in the final episode. For many of the others there is some form of acceptance, or big step in their lives, but for Wrecker I don’t really see that. And unfortunately, I think that comes from Wrecker never really being the focus of any strong character development throughout the history of the show. That’s not to say there wasn’t any growth at all, but when we look at how far everyone else has come in their stories, Wrecker always feels like he never got the same treatment in this show. The biggest growth I saw was when he stepped in to help Hunter when he could see the sergeant was spiralling.

So, while I’m happy he lived and has gone on to enjoy a longer, more peaceful life than we ever expected for the Batch, it makes me sad that we never really saw anything big for Wrecker in this ending. No big acceptance, no huge sacrifice. We don’t even get to see him say goodbye to Omega when she leaves. I love that Wrecker got a happy ending, but I always wish that we had gotten the opportunity to see more of a character arc with him over the course of the entire show.

Crosshair

I accepted a while ago that if any of the Batch members were to survive, Crosshair would be one of them because I didn’t expect the writers to kill him off after everything that he had been through. And thankfully they didn’t! I love that after everything, Crosshair has managed to find peace. Maybe not completely, but enough that he has the chance to live a life that doesn’t involve him being a soldier. 

Throughout S2 and S3 we saw Crosshair come to terms with the fact that he was disposable to the Empire and that they didn’t care about him as much as he had made himself believe. And one of the things Crosshair fought with the most was his own identity as a soldier. For so long, he believed that that was all he was, all he could be, so that’s why it has been so amazing finally seeing Crosshair acknowledge that he doesn’t need to be a soldier to still live a life he deserves; his purpose is and always has been more than that.

Saying that, I want to address the hand thing because I am still unsure of where I sit with it. Following his escape from Tantiss, we see Crosshair has developed hand tremors as a result of his PTSD, and a decent chunk of the season has been dedicated to him learning how to live with them. The biggest reason for this affecting Crosshair so much was that it impacted his ability to be a sniper, which is what Crosshair believed to be his main purpose: he didn’t know what to do without the ability to use his hand. And we were given some incredibly sweet scenes between him and Omega as she helped him work out the best way to manage the tremors, for example, them meditating together.

But then that brings me onto my main issue, which is, why remove the hand? One of the reasons I keep seeing is that it removes Crosshair’s ability to be a sniper, but we had already seen that. That’s the issue that the tremors were causing. Crosshair had already been struggling with that ability as a result of what happened to him on Tantiss, so cutting his hand off as a way of preventing his sniping ability seems a bit unnecessary. Now admittedly, the soldier who cut his hand off didn’t know that he had hand tremors, so logistically it makes sense, but as a story tool it seems a bit bizarre to me. Personally, I think it would’ve been more interesting to pursue the idea of Crosshair learning to manage his tremors through meditation etc. and adapting to a life that has less of a focus on sniping. 

Another reason I have seen for the hand is that it symbolises Crosshair finally becoming free from the Empire and what they did to him on Tantiss. Him no longer having the tremors indicates that he is no longer burdened by the Empire and his time there. But that doesn’t really work for me either. For one, Crosshair will never truly be separated from what happened to him there; even if he lost the shaking, he would still have a number of psychological issues as a result of what he went though, so I can’t see it as a way of symbolising a true separation. Which is once again why I think that following the story beat of him managing the tremors would have been a more interesting path for them to go down with his character.

Saying that, I’m still happy with where Crosshair’s story went. He is arguably the most complex character in the Batch and I’m so glad we have been able to see him develop the way he has. Him living a long, quiet life is something that I’m happy he has gotten, and I truly don’t think that him dying would have brought nearly as satisfying a conclusion as Crosshair finally finding a new place in the world.

Tech

Oh boy… this is going to be an interesting chunk of this essay. So errm… it turns out Tech is actually dead, which is… kinda shit. 

Back when we saw him fall at the end of S2, I said that one of the reasons that I didn’t believe that Tech was really dead was because if he was, I would’ve found the writing kinda cheap. I said repeatedly throughout that season that I didn’t want all of his character development to simply be an emotional manipulation tactic to make us even more sad when he died… which is what it turned out to be. It doesn’t surprise me that Tech sacrificed himself, but it makes me mad that ultimately his death never really had any real impact on anything. I mean, they hardly even addressed it in the final season!

I get that animated Star Wars is known for rarely addressing characters after their deaths, but The Clone Wars focuses on so many characters that if we gave that much attention to every character that died, then we would never progress the plot. However, unlike TCW, The Bad Batch primarily focuses on a smaller group of clones and therefore not only has the space to explore the impacts that death would have on the squad, but really should find it a necessary part of the storytelling. The lack of attention given to Tech throughout this season has been beyond frustrating to me. He deserved better.

And I can’t write a section about Tech’s ending without addressing the CX-2 situation. Were we all delusional for believing that Tech was alive? No. Now before people come at me for saying that, I want to explain why that is the conclusion I have come to. You would have every right to label us delusional if there was absolutely no proof behind the claims that we made, but when the writers give us a character that both speaks and acts like Tech, what did they expect us to think? There were too many parallels between Tech and CX-2 for it to be coincidental and I still stand by the fact that we had reason to believe that they were the same person.

Now, looking at the other CX soldiers we see in the finale, they all seem to parallel the OG members of the Batch: there’s a larger one who primarily focuses on hand-to-hand combat, someone who favours blades, a sniper, and a more tech-savvy one. And I’m sure there is a reason for that, symbolically or practically, but if the fact that they all resemble the Batch is important, then why was so much focus put primarily on CX-2? There was no way we weren’t going to think that they would reveal him to be Tech.

Overall, I’m annoyed. Tech was such a brilliant character and I am so frustrated that not only did he get a death that I felt was kind of cheap, but he didn’t get nearly the respect he should have been given in the final season. Now, I’m not using this as a way to bash the writers, and I definitely don’t think that anyone should use it as an excuse to be bullies, but unfortunately, I can’t be satisfied with the way Tech’s story ended, and I’m not sure I ever will.

Echo

Last but certainly not least, Echo. To say that Echo means a lot to me is an understatement, and I was genuinely terrified that I might have to say goodbye to one of my comfort characters. But thankfully, our boy made it!

Following Season 1, we all wanted for Echo to get some more development. It never felt like he had truly been used to his full potential. And thankfully, Season 2 began to give us that. Yes, we ended up saying goodbye to Echo for half a season, but we saw some incredible growth in his character, and him choosing to join the rebellion made too much sense not to happen. Unfortunately, this also meant that we didn’t get to see Echo for the majority of the final season, but I am beyond grateful that what they gave us in these last few episodes has been some of the best Echo content that we have ever seen. Watching him grow and find where he belongs has been a pleasure to watch, He really is an ARC trooper through and through. Particularly in these last few episodes, seeing how much he has grown to be like Fives, and watching him carry on his brother’s legacy, has been so incredible, No matter what anyone says, I believe that he truly is one of the greatest, and most important characters that we’ve ever gotten out of animated Star Wars.

However, I do have one gripe with Echo’s ending, and it’s the fact that it doesn’t actually feel like a conclusion. If anything, I have more questions about Echo now than I did before the last episode. Echo going to the Rebellion is an absolute given; he still has stuff to help Rex with. But the fact that there is absolutely no mention of him in the epilogue has just made me wonder where he is. Omega mentions Crosshair and Wrecker, and we only see Hunter, so we know that Echo isn’t with them. But we also know that at that point in the story, Echo also isn’t with Rex (assuming we’re in Rebels era). So where is he? What is he doing? Is he actually dead at that point??? I really hope we see more of Echo in the future because if this really is the last time we see his character, it’s too open ended for me to really be satisfied with it.

But if I’m being honest, I really don’t think that this is the last time that we are going to see him. And especially with Omega joining the Rebellion, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another clone-centric show following these characters in the future.

Concluding Thoughts

All in all, my thoughts are still a bit jumbled. I still don’t know how I truly feel about everything, but hopefully this post at least gives some insight into how I think each character’s endings were handled. Will I change my mind at some point? Probably. But for now, this is where I stand.

At its core, I think the ending we got makes sense for a lot of the characters, and I’m glad that they didn’t all just die at the end. Sure, there are choices that I’m not happy with, but seeing that some of the Batch go on to live long lives is something that I’m very happy to see. It doesn’t happen enough in animated SW, so I’m glad we got to experience it.

[feralgodmothers]

I think I cracked it you guys. A part of why Elvis (2022) has such a hold on me (and why you should watch it too if you haven’t already).

The first time I watched it, I didn’t really have any expectations - I wasn’t a fan of Elvis, because my mother hated him, and I grew up without any real exposure to him or his music. I also wasn’t a fan of Baz Luhrmann, because I found his directing style to be too over-the-top, chaotic, and truthfully - obnoxious. So neither of those two big names attached to it were a draw-in for me. And on top of that, I didn’t know Tom Hanks was in it, and I didn’t know who Austin Butler was - not to mention there’s been an abundance of music biopics lately. The only thing that captured my attention was how accurately the trailer portrayed the fangirl spirit. I was like ‘Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s like. I can relate to that’, lol. So with that being the only thing that held my interest, I put it on and just shrugged and thought ‘Who knows, this might be fun’.

I was completely blown away.

I had seen a few clips of Elvis prior to this at some point in my life, so I had just enough reference in my memory to go on while I watched Austin do his thing, and he nailed it. It took no time at all for you to feel like you were actually watching Elvis Presley, not just some guy playing him. Austin Butler was flawless - he’s received a tremendous amount of praise for his performance, and quite frankly - I don’t think there could ever be enough praise for what he was able to accomplish here. It is one of the best performances of all time, and that is no exaggeration. It was so exciting - the amount of movie magic (that’s been sorely lacking from films lately) was on full display here, and it gave me new life. I felt a real connection to a completely different era in our history, a connection to a whole other generation of people/fans, and to a music legend that I knew almost nothing about, and who pop culture had twisted into some mythical caricature of himself. This film accomplishes so much, and I was caught up in a whirlwind of something truly eye-opening and magical. The main takeaway I had from my first time viewing was pure excitement and adrenaline, from just being transported somewhere else entirely, both emotionally and spiritually, and from unlearning some misconceptions I had about Elvis Presley. And, as a bonus, I now had a new celebrity crush in Austin Butler (and we all know - stumbling across someone new to thirst over will always be a profound part of the fangirl experience, lol).

The second time I watched it, I was going in still riding that high that I felt - and I was ready to immerse myself into full, thirsty fangirl mode. And obviously I did thirst - but by the end of the film, I was so incredibly emotional. I cried so much, and felt so sad. Of course, I felt sad by the end the first time I watched it too - Elvis died tragically early, and the way the movie highlighted his final performance was so effectively heartbreaking and moving. But I think the more positive feelings I had experienced before had prevented me from sinking too low into my feelings. But by that second viewing, man… the dam just broke, and I was legitimately mourning this man. I’m not kidding when I say this is probably the best biopic I’ve ever seen, and possibly one of the best movies period that I’ve ever seen. I cannot express strongly enough how much it truly resonates with me.

Anyway, my whole point in saying that I cracked it, I say as a fangirl through-and-through - I think the two biggest impacts that can ignite a fangirl’s spirit into a full, dazzling and glorious blaze is: thirst and heartbreak. And this movie provided both of those things in spades. It’s so beautiful to watch - Austin’s beautiful, the storytelling is beautiful, the cinematography is beautiful, the care, dedication, and craft is beautiful. To me, it is absolutely perfect, and it has completely taken over my mind, heart, and soul. I cannot recommend this film highly enough. It is everything to me right now, and the more people who are willing to give it a chance and enjoy it, the better.

[artbyblastweave]

You said you needed to be prodded to elaborate on why Worm should have been longer? Well consider this a prod, if I may be so bold.

A big chunk of it is rote contrarianism. Part of it is that I like Worm, my experience reading so much Worm was "Sweet! Even More Worm! I've got so much Worm left before I'm out of Worm!" So a version of Worm with More Worm is prima facie an enticing prospect.

In the non-reflexive, genuinely considered sense, there possibly should have been an interlude arc to flesh out the timeskip, make it feel like it was as much of her powered career as it objectively was. And I'm far from the first person to make this observation. But on another level, there's a sense where "Worm Should Have Been Longer" is conflated in my head with "Worm's Timeframe Should Have Been Longer." Which is tricky, and invites further unpacking-

One thing about Worm I've noted in the past is that the villain portion of Skitter's cape career- more than two thirds of the book- only takes place over about three months, but- speaking only for my reading experience- this was surprisingly easy to miss or elide in my consideration of the narrative. One reason for this is that Taylor and her supporting cast are so heavily fleshed out, are so well-realized, undergo so much character development in a compacted timeframe, that it felt like I had been following them for much longer than I had. This is enhanced (was enhanced?) by the out-of-universe passage of time; The S9 interlude arc is, like, a little over the one-third mark of the story, but Worm had been running for a year at the time that that was published, and it certainly felt like I’d been reading a years' worth of fiction while binging it. In this way Worm was truly faithful to its comic book origins; story arcs that take place over the course of hours but are published over the course of months, building reader familiarity with characters who objectively haven’t been at what they're doing for very long. A third element (noticed on rereads) is that Wildbow often opens with scene transitions/cold-opens or what-have you that, are generally contiguous with the preceding events, but simultaneously slightly obfuscate exactly how much time has passed. Arc 6 opens with Taylor finishing up with the ABB mop-up, and it’s blocked to demonstrate how far she’s come in such a relatively short time period. It can’t have been more than a few days since Lung. It explicitly wasn’t. But it had the vibe of having been a while.

What I’m working towards here, inch by inch, is the following conclusion: Worm has what I call an eyedropper approach to Taylor’s three-months and 22 arcs. Any given escapade feels like it’s just one vignette, emblematic of a longer, two-or-three-year stage of her life, scooped out and displayed as a representative sample of what’s going on. When shit hits the fan with Dinah, it feels like the upset of a longstanding status quo, even though by that point, Skitter has only been in five or six major engagements alongside the Undersiders. When they spend Arc 21 lancing various supervillain incursions into the city, it felt like I was watching a day in the life, like this was something the Undersiders had been dealing with, and would be dealing with, for a while- even though arc 21′s handful of engagements are basically the only times Skitter did that before she left. Purely from a vibes-based perspective, you could tell me that the first two thirds of Worm are occurring over the course of eight to ten years, and I might roll with that for a minute.

But the catch is- her villainous career has the vibes of lasting a long time, but it’s actually really thematically and logically important that it doesn’t. Skitter’s friendships within the Undersiders are strongly predicated on her ping-ponging from crisis to crisis so quickly that no true reckoning about their differing morals can ever come about. Skitter’s ability to administer as a benevolent warlord is heavily predicated on her lines of credit from Coil- and you cannot stretch that tension out much longer than it was stretched in canon without Dinah dying or Coil getting fed up with Skitters non-profitability. Breathing room is anathema to the story’s depiction of a pressure-cooker society where every crisis begets a new crisis. Nothing between Lung and Alexandria plays out the same way if anyone is allowed any amount of time to think about or process anything. And you actually see this in arc 21; it’s the first time that Skitter has a real opportunity to think about what the long-term looks like, and there’s a whole sequence where she’s getting nervous about her ability to reign in Regent over the long-haul. It’s the first time in three months where she’s had the luxury to worry about that kind of thing. 

You square this circle by.... basically, by striking the canon balance. There's a sense in which I'm increasingly convincing myself that I'm not talking about a problem Worm has so much as a problem Worm already has a workable-but-imperfect solution for. Create distinct periods in Skitter's development- "Rookie era," "Warlord Era," "Wards Era," whatever-each of which feel like they could balloon out into a years-long status quo if this were a comic, even though the cast are really living through the weeks where decades happen. Rely on the Sheer Amount Of Worm to smooth over the breakneck pace at which everyone's character growth and interpersonal connections are developing. There are a few points in the story where "fuck, has it only been three months?" is a salient mood to invoke. The get-together with Danny's coworkers, the back-to-school portions of arc 20. But for the most part the work already does a really good job of making the pinched timeframe a minor bit of fridge logic and not something hugely dissonant and immersion-breaking.

In the process of writing this I've basically argued myself out of thinking that there's much to gain from fucking around with this delicate balance. I don't know if that has implications for whether or not additional arcs covering the timeskip would help or hurt that balance- at a certain level of focus, that whole "you liked us, but you didn't love us" bit about Skitter's time with the Wards vs. The Undersiders becomes a much harder sell. It was already one of the hardest sells in the book for me, the thing that got me thinking about this in the first place. (two years vs three months!) But at some point, I have to bite the bullet- in a work as ambitious as Worm, "good enough" is a fine thing to settle for. It's good enough!