#he also unironically loves no scrubs

[southparktexts]

hi bby! saw ur reqs are open and ur inbox in empty!! so lemme get main three with a makeup gf who wants to do their makeup/skincare :3

AAAA OMG ITS BAE !!! HII BABE ABSOLUTELY YOU ANGEL !!

Doing Makeup on the Main 3

stan;

- okay, you know that episode where stan has a band and he plays a song abt him hating living on a farm?

- if you get it you get it

- you unironically already do his makeup for him

- but not full face though

- you help him with eyeliner on his under eyes

- i can see you bringing up the subject

- one day you were hanging in your room

- stan resting his head on your lap as you play with his hair silently

- eventually you got bored.

“stannnn can i do your makeup?”

“..why? im not performing anytime soon.”

“please..?”

“..fine”

- okay some headcannons time

- you do his makeup on his lap

- you’re doing concealer and he’s rambling to you about a fight with his dad.

- actually kinda stress relieving to him.

- i can see him as a cautious boyfriend when you do his foundation.

“ah- not the eyes..”

“careful.. the beanie..”

- also will slightly regret it..

“this is so gay.. you’re lucky i love you.”

- he doesn’t want to admit that he loves it.

- after you’ve cooked you show him and he gives you a ‘good job’ nod and kisses your forehead.

“..okay get this off me.”

kyle ;

- hear me out, kyles always had a fascination with makeup.

- i can see kyle watching his mom do her makeup and just being so interested.

- naturally, he was curious to see what he would look like with makeup.

- one day he was over at your house, you guys had a date planned in a few hours and you were doing your makeup

- kyle being kyle he watched, noticing how you grew more and more frustrated with your eyeliner.

- wiping it off with a q-tip aggressively.

- he continued watching as he thought to himself

- ‘if only she had someone to practice on..”

- he turned out to be the perfect person.

- he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheeks.

“do you wanna practice on me, love?”

“wait.. really?”

- the way your eyes light up, it made him want to ask that question all the time just to see your reaction again and again.

- while you’re doing his makeup he’ll ask you questions.

“soo is this.. blush..?”

“no baby this is concealer”

“oh.. what does that do?”

- he actually was interested and learnt a lot from you

“so now we’re going to use some setting spray.”

“oh i think my mom uses that!”

- off topic but he definitely remembers your shade and buys you makeup pallets and new products.

kenny;

- okay. okay. LET ME COOK.

- so as a juggalo myself, juggalos have events called ‘gathering of the juggalos’

- kenny and you were conveniently going to this event.

- as an icp fan its important to have the iconic black and white clown makeup!

- although you and your boyfriend were over at your house getting ready.

- when you saw kenny using bad drugstore makeup to do his clown face.

“uh.. ken?”

“yea hun?”

“do you want me to do that for you?”

“sure darl’”

- you had to scrub that shit off his face but it was so worth it.

- in the middle of you doing the white foundation you had just done prior on his face he’ll lean in a kiss you

“kennn!! no kisses”

“sorry doll, can’t help it.”

- the most laidback of all the boys

- will randomly kiss you all over

- but he doesn’t stay still when you’re doing the clown features in black.

- after your done cooking, you show him in the mirror.

- he does some silly poses, making you laugh and kisses your forehead.

“i love it my little juggalette”

“i love you to my juggalo”

reqs are open !! also i cooked wtf??

[whoronoa]

I'm being delusional but hear me out

Do you ever think about what it would be like to actually date them? Because I have. A lot. Mainly as a preparation for what would happen in terms of Atiny finding because let's be honest the fandom is kinda scary.

ANYWAYS

Here is something I was thinking about if I was an undercover gf forced to come out of hiding (Bc they would have to force me not that I wouldn't love to shout it from the rooftops I would again be afraid of getting torn to shreds on the internet). Feel free to use my delusion for your fics.

1. Yunho is dating the girl version of his best friend.

Mingi and I are very similar in our aesthetics and interests. With our zodiac charts and personalities, I think we'd drive Yunho crazy or he'd be endeared because we would act more like siblings. I think Atiny would think it was cute(Yunho dating the female version of Mingi), but I can see them being weird about it and giving me insecurity about my relationship with Mingi.

2. Wearing his clothing

I am annoying and possessive. If for some reason, I kept my social media and didn't scrub it from existence I would post a lot in his clothing. No mention of Yunho bc I'm passive with my "asserting dominance." Some would respect it, and some would chew me out. No inbetween. In my defense, this wouldn't be new since I do it now.

3. Social Media in general

I would keep Yunho off my socials unless he specifically wanted to be included and even then I would be hesitant. This would be my bit until Yunho made me stop.

Atiny would ask questions about Ateez and the boys and I would want to engage with them. Atiny means a lot to Yunho and it would break both of our hearts if they hated me (Yunho's GF in general). I was a fan of Ateez first, it would be silly to pretend I didn't know who they were when I was yapping nonstop about them. I would however never talk about Yunho. We could be married and Atiny would be like who is your bias?? "Mingi." Did you see Yunho in ____? "Did you see Yeosang?" Absolute deflection. Yunho would be in the background side-eyeing me.

4. Outfits

Yunho and I would be slaying the outfit department in general ESPECIALLY when together. My man never looks a fool and neither will I.

I would however unironically wear the weirdest Ateez Merch (mainly Yunho bc obs). There is a picture of us out and I'm wearing an "I love Nerds" shirt(I am making one) but when you look at the heart it's just pictures of Yunho. I am Yunho's biggest fan and I will have it written across my chest. IDC. Is it his meme on a shirt? Wearing it to the grocery store.

I might be his biggest supporter but I am also Atiny's which means I am only buying fa- made. As much as I love the boys Atiny makes their merch with so much love and care how could I shop anywhere else?

5. Concerts

I would go because ATEEZ and also to support my cute lil guy. I would be in the nose bleeds. I'd feel uncomfortable if someone else paid for it so I would want to buy my own. I'd be in the nosebleeds because it's all vibes. I could fangirl in peace.

6. Dance Classes

As a couple, we would dance a lot. It could be going to dance classes or messing around in the studio. It would just be a thing. I'd be the one to film his dancing tiktoks- there would be a spike in the amount posted since we were always messing around. Mingi and WooYoung ft.

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

[divinequo]

Diana headcanonz!!!! :3~~~~.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡🎀🍰

Is 14 and almost every birthday of hers she goes shopping with her mom

Her and lif are besties and ironically enough she's the more stern serious one while lif, the goth one is bubbly and perky

Gets physically targeted by her class whenever she brings her bubblegum out to chew on

Has lots of boy band posters in her room

As well as a retro boombox that when she was little and she first got it she stuck a bunch of care bear stickers on it and they never came off

Listens to artists like Lana del Rey, Marina and the diamonds, Madonna, etc

Also is close friends with Jamie (girl on her cheer team) and had a bit of a mini crush on her when she was younger without realizing it

When explaining it to lif while at a restaurant lif just stared at her with big eyes and looked away chomping extra hard into her burger

Easily boy crazy, Dee never even speaks in class that much it seems so it makes sense she'd easily fall for any guy who is at least somewhat nice

When she's not busy with cheer practice on weekends she does sleepovers with lif as they watch corny horror movies from the 50's and paint each others nails

Even though she hated to admit it because of how often she chetas on tests she gets sent to the principal's office fairly casually

Has a pet cat that is either smothered with attention by lif at sleepovers or heavy during the daytime when the cat is roaming around town

Her favorite food is fruits and sugary things

Tried to give Dee a mysterious love note but he immediately knew it was her and turned her down

Which resulted in a crying Diana in lifs arms wondering why no guy likes her :(

Diana loves kids but they hate her, meanwhile lif doesn't really like kids that much but they adore her, this always p!$$3d off Diana badly

Tried to babysit some four year olds for money but was trapped in their dog cage within a half hour

Wears a ridiculous amount of lipgloss, so much so it annoys lif and she sometimes even roughly scrubs it off with her sleeve, which is of course very annoying for diana

Is embarrassed by it but listened to metal one time and unironically enjoyed it

Has stalked Dee's Instagram at least twice lol

But then accidentally liked a photo of his from two years ago

Diana screamed and panicked around her room but meanwhile Dee just shrugged because he just genuinely doesn't care about it at like, all

That's all for now!!<333~~🎀🎀

[arisenreborn]

Can I ask Misc AU #1 for the ask game? :D

Absolutely thank you so much! :D

(Dragon’s Dogma 2 Ask Game)

Misc. & AU #1 - What would be their favorite show or movie?

Reverie - She'd probably like shows more than movies most of the time, but she'd also just watch/listen to Ghibli movies in the background while she's doing other stuff. Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, and The Cat Returns esp. ALSO, big fan of LOTR.

Rann - I'm giving him all of my love for Midnight Mass. And probably watches House and Scrubs. For movies, hands down gotta be The Fountain. (scientist trying to save his dying wife with allusions to reincarnation and transcending mortal boundaries? uh yeah.)

Olivia - No horror stuff is the main thing. She'll probably be keeping up with the latest biggest shows and livetweeting about them as they air, but she was really into Reign and Outlander, probably Once Upon a Time. And lbr though her favorite movie is probably the og Disney Mulan. Also Clueless and Easy A, and as a slight curveball? Pan's Labyrinth.

Emrys - Yeah he would probably be more of a movie guy than a T.V. show guy 🤔 ...okay I know. I know the sort of reactions this is likely to immediately draw. But he probably would unironically enjoy Fight Club. Like actually, genuinely, and not in an 'dudes who idolize Tyler Durden' sort of way. Also National Lampoon's Vacation, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Maybe The Shining - he'd claim to like horror movies just to spite Olivia tbh.

[muchamocha]

Bakusquad Toothbrush HCs

Kind of a shitpost, but still what I envision them to have as toothbrushes. [ Also, the bakusquad are roommates in this- ] EDIT: This was really fun to make! I kept putting it off but it became the most fun thing I've written in a sec

btw, banner is not mine. unsure who the original creator is but found it here first @kingkatsuki

BAKUGO

If brushing your teeth was a recorded event bro has a perfect record

He got an electric one after the last brush snapped on him

Mindset was that if it was thicker and mechanical he wouldn't be able to break it

Hasn't done it yet, so...

MINT. The mintiest of mint. Bring him the gel hand sanitizer equivalent of toothpaste.

He is very adamant about having clean breath and no germs

Almost scary when it's that early in the morning

Bakugo has super good teeth all around, but he still acts like he will form a cavity from thin air

Kind of the group mom cause he will make everyone floss

Don't get him started about popcorn kernels

Honestly his brushes look a lot like Kirishima's, but not for the same reason

He just scrubs really hard, so the bristles lay flat and look traumatized HANTA

The store was out of the usual go-to brush so he bought a charcoal bristle one

There was never any going back

Eventually he switched to charcoal AND bamboo handled

Our boho hippie king

Usually not a picky guy, but loves using charcoal toothpaste

Curiosity got the best of him after the toothbrush

Hanta's teeth are still a little crooked even after retainers all through school but it suits him

Also it's super unfair that he has perfectly sturdy teeth and can pretty much get away with not brushing them at all

Because of this he has a bad routine

Everyone else has minty fresh breath and he's all fog horns at 12PM sometimes

Bakugo passive aggressively leaves him notes on the mirror to brush him damn mouth. In all caps. With skulls at the end. ASHIDO

Will not use any other kind of toothbrush unless it's pink in some way

Won't do it.

Honestly besides Bakugo the best routine tooth-brusher in the gang

Flosses daily and takes super good care cause she has genetically bad teeth

HAS to use an enamel protection toothpaste (has bad sensitivity)

Does the thing where you bear your entire mouth in the mirror and brush them cute

Hums and does lil dances too

Gets the rest of the squad to join the dance if they're awake and around

At some point as an adult she owned a singing toothbrush

Like the ones for kids

Loved it though cause she could sing and dance with it, it's where the habit came from tbh KIRISHIMA

Toothbrushes fear him

There's one in the trash every two weeks and he can't help it

Chompers have no mercy no matter how gingerly he tries to brush em

Has been gifted brushes for birthdays unironically before from Mina

He hates mint toothpaste with a passion and refuses to brush his teeth before breakfast cause of it "It makes the bacon taste wrong! One meal won't hurt."

Lowkey buys the cheapest brushes at times cause they won't be around long anyways

Has a bad habit of being known as the gagger

It'll be 9AM and he's just absolutely going ham on the reflex startling the others awake

Kirishima's defense is that it gets all the bad smells gone KAMINARI

He did have a normal one before it got old and thrown away

Was just chilling at the store and remembered he needed a new brush

He was in Home Depot

Like he came home and put it in the bathroom like it was any other day

Nothing was said. Not a word. From anyone

They assumed it was just for cleaning grout, or other cleaning purposes

One day Denki nonchalantly walks out into the living room brushing his teeth thinking bout what he needed to do that day

Everyone just stares from their spot "What...is it the bedhead?"

Once Bakugo storms up to him asking what the hell he's doing with a utility brush in his mouth he's more confused

Takes the squad a sec, but eventually they get Denki caught up

They never let him live this down

He's got a normal brush now tho

[muertawrites]

modern!eddie headcanon: he loves it when you rap along with your music. thinks it's adorable when you fuck up the words. thinks it's hotter than hell when you spit a perfect verse.

[mouseymassacre]

MORE DR. TWO BRAINS HEADCANONS BC I WATCHED THE RISE OF MISS POWER AND A BUNCH MORE EPISODES

fruity ass gif bc i love him

-> he has so many mental illnesses. particularly adhd and bpd ^^ im not projecting. he's also autistic because i said so.

-> sensory processing disorder moment. he has trouble processing sounds and touch mostly and kinda isn't super aware of the space around him ^^

-> he doesn't talk to his family much or like. at all? he doesn't really remember much about them because his living situation was really stressful as a kid.

-> not only is cheese like. good bc he's a mouseboy, but also it's like. really good for his sensory issues.

-> showering is a fucking nightmare for him. his hair is always super messy, the sound of running water is a really bad thing for him sensory wise, and its hard to shower with his rat features + his mouse brain being on the outside is uncomfy. he made himself some earplugs though to help with the sensory part of it.

-> tbh. fruity. he's bi and trans!! he makes his own hormones and did his own top surgery. made his own binder as a younger adult.

-> if he had an actual cell phone, i think he'd have a very specific typing style. all caps, a lot of punctuation, MOUSE PUNS, etc!

-> "CHUCKY BABY, ANGEL DARLING, MY BEST FUR-RIEND. CAN I COME OVER" "mom said yeah just don't make a mess pleasee :(" "YES YES OF COURSE OF COURSE!! THANK YOU YOU'RE SO AM-MOUSE-ING!"

-> i like to think that the shirt he wears under his lab coat is one of those hospital scrubs. i feel like he definitely went to a hospital as a child and managed to keep the scrub bc the texture was nice:) i know its not a scrub but shut up its MY comfort headcanon!!

-> lemon demon fan. will wood fan. the oozes fan. probably likes some rock music bc of chuck, like black sabbath, alkaline trio, rise against, warrant, etc!!

-> he honestly really likes stickers and wears them on his arms or face in his free time. like... he doesnt do it while doing evil business in public but they remind him of his henchmen and shit:)

-> he and chuck definitely have made ocs together.

-> kinda touch adverse except with people be trusts? like. he won't completely freak out from physical contact but its still uncomfy for him. so when miss power was like hashtag Whip and Nae Naeing his ass he was internally Screaming.

-> he doesnt really like being picked up by his shirt in general but with miss power it was somehow worse bc she's just like. some gal.

-> he would use discord. he would have discord nitro. he's in a cheese eaters discord. he got banned from the cheese eaters discord because he got a little rowdy one day.

-> i think that he'd learn a lot of slang because he hangs with the botsfords a lot. like... he kinda got integrated into the family after the dr two brains forgets episode bc it just... happened. it just happened.

-> tj teaches him the word "poggers" and wordgirl has to simply cope every time she hears him say it unironically about one of his inventions or cheese.

-> his hair is so Dry. he is so dry in general. fuck bitch MOISTURIZE!!!

-> really likes cuddling chuck. can be interpreted as /p or /r tbh i think he just feels safe with his little sandwich bestie.

-> he really likes it when people he trusts touches his tail or scratches behind his ears. hes so Mouse you guys... He is so Mouse.

-> (minor s/lf h/rm tw, proceed with caution) probably has a lot of weirdly healed over scars because of his teeth being shaped like mice's, and he probably bites at his skin quite a bit to relieve stress.

-> idk why i like this headcanon but... he really appreciates the like... demonia + kandi + graphic tee stuff, but unfortunately doesn't participate because the familiarity of his coat and normal clothes is safe while Wearing Other Clothes Is Not. he thinks its a really cool way to express yourself!

-> adding onto this, but one time becky made a couple of little diy homemade pins out of a couple of different buttons, all painted with different pride flags and even one decorated with a couple of spikes and a cute little super-mousified version of dtb. he wears them literally every day, and even tried to make pins for his other villain friends!!

god i have school tomorrow i need to stop mf RAMBLING. if u have any other hcs please feel free to like . tell me i dont bite i purr-omise i just love attention

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

Been stewing on this for a few days (might be controversial, but I don't really care)

I think my issue with takes that unironically excuse or downplay the impact of c!Quackity torturing c!Dream has nothing to do with misinterpreting authorial intent; we have no way to be absolutely sure what's going through the writer's head, and even if we did, everybody sees fiction differently.

Nor does it have anything to do with the morality of enjoying a fictional person's suffering. Because once again, that's all very subjective, the people suffering aren't real, and to be fair, sometimes it can be cathartic to watch a villain get everything they've done thrown back tenfold.

It's just that reading c!Quackity's story like that is... boring.

Like, even if you don't give two shits about c!Dream's feelings - and you shouldn't have to - there's so much other interesting stuff to work with!

I want to dig deep into how trauma affects the way a person processes their life and how they judge who is worthy of their trust. How people determine when others have crossed a moral line, how someone can continue to justify themselves even after they cross those very same lines, and what happens when they realize they've become the bad guy and still don't stop.

I want to watch how someone can be desensitized to constant violence, and the way it leaves marks that you can't scrub out. How you can ward off your own trembling at the memories of dead eyes and destroyed homes with slightly different examples of the same. How your gut sinks when you discover that the vicious thing inside you that you thought was given a safe, healthy, cathartic outlet is leaking into the world of the innocent.

I want to understand how you can carry a knife in one hand and wedding rings dangling on a chain from the other, held as far apart as you can reach, because you can't bear to cross those lines and stain something that was supposed to safe and peaceful and good. How you can look the child you're trying to avenge in the eyes and lie to him because you've felt his pain, but you also know he's kinder and better than you, and it's already enough that one person looks at you with fear, and you can't bear to see that fear mix with disappointment. How you can lie awake thinking about blank lines of paperwork and the grime beneath your nails and sly smiles and lost bets and broken promises (and screams and sobs that stopped being soothing a long time ago), and wonder what happens when the same sharp edge is turned against you and the ones you love, too.

I want to see how you can choose to put the blade down, change your plans, and trick your fuming heart into believing that it's not weakness or guilt holding you back. That it's all going to be worth it. That both of you are going to get what you deserve (and you already know what that is, that you're heading to the same place in hell as everyone you despise, that there's no turning back anymore, that you are irreparably soiled by what you've done here, and that your only hope is to leave a message behind and hope that someone, anyone, will remember you fondly-)

I want to question what it really means to "deserve" something, and wonder how much it really matters. I want to see the good, the bad, and everything in between. I want to see somebody go to the darkest depths imaginable, and still choose to return.

The prison arc and by extension the rest of the Las Nevadas arc is the perfect place to explore all of that. So why not?

[dangermousie]

My jaw dropped open at this scene in ep 2 where a rich designer is propositioning Park Bo Gum’s character in a casting couch deal. I mean, everyone knows it goes on but never in a million years did I think a kdrama would ever go there.

And the thing is - I was getting complete creeps because a person can say this unironically to someone he’s trying to coerce into sex and genuinely believe it and yikes. But Hye Jun’s handling of the situation is what really grabbed my attention here because he’s a complete no but even something like this he manages to address with a graciousness the man does not deserve. (But, like with his agent, one wonders how many desperate people this man has preyed on before as this is clearly not his first rodeo.)

But seriously, I genuinely cannot believe they went there. Also - ummm, if what you find hot about him is that he doesn’t want you, there is something seriously wrong with you plus is it some sort of sick power play to get someone to sleep with you who has clearly indicated he is not interested in any genuine fashion? Because you can’t stand not having what you want because that is so rare? Once again, scrubbing my brain with bleach, Harvey Weinstein of Korea.

But once again, Hye Jun’s never-ending politeness slays me. 

The thing is, I think it’s a defense mechanism for him, really. Because even when the would-be sponsor is doing his best to hurt him, lashing out in the nastiest way he can think of, Hye Jun’s reaction is not rage. When he tells the man to remember this day, he doesn’t do it in a “you are going to rue it when I am famous and show you up/avenge myself/whatever typical kdrama line” - no, what he wants him to remember is that Hye Jun behaved well to the end. It is hugely important to him to be a good person, because that is all he’s got. But honestly, in his quiet way, there is zero give in Hye Jun and I love that.

[friendly-peep]

Which Homestuck characters would read Homestuck and their opinion

idk i’m bored. What’s Homestuck^2? What’s epilogues? We’re strictly Homestuck in this house. Also only doing main characters, I’m not going to dive into the Felt or caparacians, I want this to be done today.

Beta kids:

June: Avid reader. Got in early and read the whole thing. Got shirts, unironically liked it.

Rose: Got in late, but got into it. Loved the tarot deck, uses it to pretend she’s reading while she just tells people their truths. Noticed some narrative issues but overall liked it.

Dave: Got in shortly after June did, read for a while, but his irony poisoning led to him sassing the HECK out of it. Made a diss blog. Kept reading it “ironically” and cannot tell if he actually likes it or not. Got a god tier hoodie he wears at home. Sampled some of the soundtracks for his raps.

Jade: Loved it. LOVED IT. Got the full soundtrack. Made remixes. Got all the shirts. One of the blogs that posted “UPD8!” whenever an update happened. Big fanartist during the Gigapauses.

Beta Guardians:

June’s Dad: Tried to get into it to connect to his daughter’s interest, but the memes were too much, so he became the “Are ya winning, daughter?” dad. Very supportive but would need fifty slow paced “Homestuck explained” videos.

Mom Lalonde: Read it, but was too intoxicated to remember most. She holds obscure knowledge and will remember minute trivia, but don’t ask her about any of the large plot points.

Bro Strider: Too busy being A Mess Of A Human Being to sit down and read.

Poppop Harley: Too busy being A Dang Explorer to sit down and read.

Alpha kids:

Jane: Takes time to read it slowly. Has a blog of theories she constantly updates. Was upset about how some plot points got dropped and underdeveloped.

Roxy: Much like Jade, loved it. While Jade made remixes, Roxy cosplays. She has killer cosplays of most characters. Screamed about updates on twitter. No filter, accidentally drops spoilers left right and center.

Dirk: Deep, DEEP character examinations. Draws diagrams, writes essays. Unironically liked the potential of Paradox Space, may have even submit his own stories to be a guest artist.

Jake: Read the whole thing, liked it, missed many connections and plot points, was satisfied with the ending. Got some merch, can say “I read Homestuck” in public and be blissfully unaware of any positive and negative baggage that comes with saying so.

Alpha Guardians:

Jane’s Dad: Much like June’s Dad, tried to get into it. Unlike June’s Dad, watched and read his daughter’s theories (and Dirk’s explanations when Jane linked them to him) and became A Walking Homestuck Encyclopedia. Jane is unsure how to feel about this. He, however, does not reference it.

Roxy’s Rosemom: Too busy fighting the good fight to read. It’s in her radar but didn’t get the time to read it.

Dirk’s Davedad: Read it as a novelty. Sent Hussie a gold-plated Bad Dragon dildo. Put offhand references to it on his movies, but they were so oblique that even readers didn’t get it.

Jade English: Too busy running her own baking good company to read Homestuck. Not even in her radar.

Alternia Trolls:

Aradia: Much like Dirk, got REAL DEEP into it. Makes youtube vids explaining classpects and narrative points. Actually wrote a dissertation on Homestuck.

Tavros: Tried to get into it, but the first few acts were not to his taste so he never got to the trolls ironically enough. Likes the character designs though.

Sollux: Next level Dave. Critiques the FUQUE out of it on every platform he can. If Hatedom is a thing, he made it. He’s the founder. It’s him. But he read it to the end.

Karkat: Read it, loves it, does some interesting character relationship examinations. Predicted who would end up with who with 100% accuracy. Wasn’t a vocal fan, didn’t get merch, but still liked it.

Nepeta: The shipper who launched a thousand ships. She writes crackfic but with deep care, making sure it makes sense that characters would end up together. Got one of every homestuck shirt. Very into it.

Kanaya: Got into it only because her friends got into it. If Karkat hadn’t talked about it she would not have gotten into it but she did because she wants to be able to carry a conversation with her friends. Not a huge fan.

Terezi: She can and WILL correct you if you get trivia wrong. She did not sit through hours of text-to-speech pesterlogs for some scrub to get it wrong. Defiant Homestuck defender. She’ll cut you if you say you don’t like Homestuck (she won’t, but she’s judging you from the other side of the room)

Vriska: Skipped the first acts and jumped right into Alternia. Little context, little care. Pretends she didn’t, gets facts hilariously wrong which Terezi takes as an invitation to tease her. Fanartist.

Equius: Another fanartist. He made physical media as opposed to drawings. Slow reader, got into it late and didn’t finish until way after the comic had ended. Did not get to experience the comic without Random Paradox Arms all over the place. Loved by the community for his short reaction posts about what happened at the point he’s at.

Gamzee: Either first person to post “Update” when comic updated, or doesn’t read for months and then catches up in two days. Skips many chat logs, but still gets most of the plot no problem. Remembers exact phrasing of the posts he does read though.

Eridan: Another Character Analysis blogger. He dives into (pun unintended) why some characters are The Absolute Worst and writes fanfic of how they would be if they had a chance to be in a different circumstances. The Problematique fan, but only because people assume the worst of him. He’s actually pretty chill.

Feferi: Superfan, and Super Content Creator. Started making plushies and charms and eventually started selling them. Her stuff became a badge of honor and people posted themselves hugging their plushies during the gigapause.

Ancestors:

Too busy caught up in their personal turmoils to read any of it. Except the Condesce. She sent Hussie a diamond-studded Bad Dragon dildo.

Beforus trolls:

Damara: Big fan, but doesn’t express it because of the crowd she’s with. But she has a blog where she tries to get in touch with new readers and is always open to answer questions others might have. Not a Big Name fan, but she’s much more vocal online than in person, and even then it’s through an alt account.

Rufioh: Got people into it, but he himself didn’t finish reading after the Scratch. Said he would but he just never got to doing so.

Mituna: Prone to ranting when updates happened. Very emotionally invested, nearly died when Game Over happened.

Kankri: The nitpicker to end all nitpicks. He critiqued everything, and hated that there were hero mode, simplified and silly drawings. Genuinely disliked all characters for faults that he himself has, yet never self-examined. Got a following that  consisted three-quarters of people who made fun of his rants and one-quarter of people who were as intense as he is.

Meulin: Big, BIG fan. Prolific fanfic writer, if a character pairing exists, rarepair or not, she wrote a fic about them. Likes all characters and as such thinks she must devote roughly the same wordcount for everyone she can. Disappears for months then reemerges with twenty new fics.

Porrim: Moderate fan, great cosplayer. The more complex the outfit, the more she wanted to make it. Routinely goes out in Jade’s Dead Shuffle and Three in the Morning dresses because she is incredibly proud of them.

Latula: Not a big fan. Knows most of what she knows through cultural osmosis because her friends got into it, but she’s not likely to ever read it herself. Likes how into it her friends are though.

Aranea: Much like Jane’s Dad, she’s the walking encyclopedia, except she memorized the content of almost every page, and if she doubts her knowledge, will immediately go to her computer and look up what she is unsure of. Tries not to talk people’s ears off and will only talk about Homestuck when asked about it.

Horuss: Super into it. To a maybe creepy degree. Doesn’t show in public but if you get access to his secret blogs it’s more like character shrines. Don’t dig too deep into it.

Kurloz: Read it, kinda into it, but not that big of a fan. He will talk about it but he’s pretty lukewarm about the whole thing.

Cronus: Read it to impress a crush, got genuinely into it, but isn’t a vocal fan.

Meenah: Didn’t read it, much like Latula learned about it because everyone around her talked about it. Unlike Latula, she mocks everyone for liking something she says is “for nerds”. Still kinda wants to read it to be part of the conversation but her pride of Not Knowing About Homestuck is too great to overcome that hurdle.

[sightofsea]

rating house season promo pics by how much they give me joy

season 1: 9/10

i love the old school-ness of this promo pic. no theme or concentration, let’s just throw everything in here! it’s all doctors, all the time! i love that robert sean leonard looks like you just told him that you are getting back together with your ex, and i love that chase here could easily be mistaken for a beach-going lesbian

season 2: 6/10

this picture gives me the sense that i just walked in on something very personal, like house trying to unironically out himself to wilson or him realizing the patients probems parallel his own. and the death glare certainly affects me, so i have to knock my ruling down, but as a nosy bitch it intrigues me.

season 3: 3/10

it’s like the last one, but worse. the death glare overcomes me. whenever i log in to watch house during this season i feel like he’s looking at me like are you?? are you sure about this? this is a bad decision. and he’s right! but i’m going to watch anyways, and he will stare at me anyways. we are in an ouroboros of self hatred here

season 4: 10/10

HELL FUCKING YEAH DUDE!! this shit fucks!! the fun expression, the kind of 30 Rock-esque background and font distribution. this promo pic tells me this season is fun old barrel of laughs, which is a lie, but i’ll believe it so long as this miserable gay man continues to play air guitar on his cane

season 5: 5/10

i am ambivalent towards this. i love the air of “the defibrillators exploded, but who cares? i’m too cool” that this gives off, but i feel like if i wanted that i would just look at a promo picture of scrubs. where’s the edge? hugh laurie looks dead inside here, and i worry about him a bit

season 6: 8/10

there’s something missing here but i’m not gonna look far beyond it. it’s fun! he’s got that little, hip-shaking devil-may-care attitude, but there’s confetti! there is a weird sense of happiness in this image, and knowing this season i can understand. but also, i do not like the blazer. it doesn’t fit him correctly

season 7: 0/10

i hate most images but especially this one. what is he doing with his jaw? is he okay? this looks like something someone would’ve posted on myspace in 2008 accompanied by some fall out boy lyrics. this is a grown man. what is he DOING? utterly reprehensible. i wish to never see this image again.

season 8: 7/10

i like this! it tells you exactly what you need to know, and seems to be making fun of itself in a way i can’t reasonably articulate. he looks a bit photoshopped here so he doesn’t look entirely like a human being, but i’m fine with that. i think yellow is a good color on him. well done

[incarnateirony]

Representation, Authorial Diversity, and more.

“I’ll take some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.”

Been a while since most of you thought about that line, hasn’t it? And for some of you it somehow sends some primitive lizard brain gaydar into overdrive and you can’t really pinpoint why, can you? It makes no sense, that line alone, and how it stands -- but between all of the talk of both Bobo Berens and LGBT media history, including The Celluloid Closet/Vito Russo or the Vito Russo Test, this moment actually puts a pin in a shift within our show, its handling of content formerly completely overlooked by creatives, and the importance of diversifying our writing crews that we all press for.

It was the moment our show leaned, and frankly-- should have been the moment the straights panicked. In fact, some of them did, just before it aired, and then everyone has played at oblivious since.

Before seasons air, we get news on new authors being added to teams, or other workers. Pre-S9 was no different, with fandom finding a tweet from Bobo Berens, our first open-closet LGBT author. I mean, Out And Proud. A true king.

The association if this is the mention of the Bechdel Test, a step aside of Vito Russo.

Now let us begin.

Well first of all I’m just gonna let everyone get a giggle at how Bobo handled the straight male knee coil:

But anyway the response to his initial tweet was a merry go round of concern trolling in the area of “OH DEAR I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU PLEASE ALLOW US THE NORMAL ASSBAGS OF THE FANDOM TO TELL YOU AN AUTHOR HOW STRAIGHT THE CHARACTERS ON THE SHOW YOU’RE WRITING FOR ARE” and I dunno, it’s comedy.

Whether or not Bobo was addressing SPN as a new project in particular -- and it, from a dark age of SPN I’ve covered the upheaval during -- this is important. Really, really important.

Let’s say that timeline does overlap Bobo’s, and he did implicitly believe it; he might have had to write them as Straight Guys; but his own deep-seated place in the LGBT community developed resonant text, he made change. Change enough that when his first script was put into motion, the showrunner took one look at it and, for the first time in recorded history, we had note of some sort of intent --

Misha went on to say “so that’s what we played there.”

Regardless of anyone’s misunderstanding about how the fandom riled themselves up prematurely and shot themselves in the foot by lighting a CW exec on fire in the middle of network level board/CEO rotation commotion, or whether or not it’s visible enough for anyone--

this, this moment, this content, created by this LGBT individual led to this first known forward motion of intentful creative subtext. People can hilariously try to argue semantics about it that summarily boil down to “I mean it could be metaphorical jilted lovers it could be this it could be jilted lover bros, it’s just a turn of phrase!” in a loop as they’ve done with this data for six years until it dies every time, but this was it. This was the moment.

There is a nuance in this sort of writing -- how easy would it be for Dean to come up and say, “I’ll take some beef jerky.” Dean’s the meat man, Dean loves meat! We’ve seen it in other, new, straight authors the first time they try to tick off the Dean checklist, but like many lessons, that extra line leading into that smile holds volumes of LGBT history unspoken.

I think several of us Old Gays(TM) have banged on about the necessity of reading the Celluloid Closet, because for as much as people think they’re chasing queer subtext around here, it’s like they have completely missed that there actually is like, a printed, accepted code of conduct on this shit, basically. That’s not exactly what it was released for, but if you’re LGBT and engaged in lit and over 40 like you’ve read and understand and know this.

I’m not going to sit here and over-needle that line; most of you felt it the second your eyes drifted over it; but the sum of it is -- why that, what charming secret comes with that smile, a dean we’ve never seen smoke either, how is this part of how Dean throws himself back before his ex buddy leaves more unseen, *why* is that the hook? These are ironically things that no lit crit study *beyond* excessive citation of Celluloid Closet will really capture. This is a form of queer coding -- not the villainous disaster type that queer coding actually *is*, but the subversive form as it’s begun to be casually addressed in the population with positive, resonant content by authors choked out by IP holders while trying to service an audience. Or sometimes, even starting to accidentally.

So you know, you can unironically double down on the simplicity of Dean implicitly probably being a smoker (a possible read of subtext!), and I think this is kinda where the bizarre split happened tbh, because dude bros double down subconsciously into each reading of this kind of coding-- Dean just smokes, or this or that, though it grows thinner by year. Not about why that line is tossed, and how, and does just set off some sort of TV pheremone we all swamp like a bee hive. None of these moments truly mean anything independently. But it is the perspective and voice the text begins to take. The difference between that and “Hey pal [chews on jerky before buying] marlboros and got any pie?” in one moment that knocked everybody around on their ass in the fray of it. And then it all just went gayer from there, as if framed by one sharp moment that set the rest of the tone.

Hopefully you’ve all read my giant post about the history of this all to remember what I mean by accidentally, but even Bobo posted on it before,

That’s all an aside to the general point but worth placing into the edge of the conversation here.

The simple fact is, an activist gay man joined the show, and possibly with ‘keep it straight’ notes wrote some stuff so resonant, due to his point of view in life and the world, that even the showrunner decided to further guide it in that direction. It blossomed a direction.

The direction was small and slow and meek at first, (well, in final product -- don’t get me started at how S10 looks if all the cut scenes were included) with subtext running as dull echoes in Colette (oh look he wrote that too), and maybe more obvious with classic heart songs -- but even this was more structured than “Misha inherited abandoned storyline they scrubbed the romance out of as best they could”, or “Sera Gamble is a dumbass” that just happened to feature great chemistry and some resonant elements, like Bobo mentioned, we all connected with. But to actually constructively choose to incorporate these, no matter how quietly, was... *new.*

And some called it queerbait and I’ve already given history lessons from other angles on why no, but also now why here, definitely, no.

By season 12 we gained Yockey, another LGBT man, another activist in his own way like Bobo, but his less in writing political stuff and more in writing LGBT specialist plays. And everybody loved him, and saw it, and Yockey gets a boat load of praise -- deserves a lot of it -- but sometiems I feel like Bobo gets trampled over without recognition of how he shifted the playing field, the calculated effort he started putting into mastering those accidental resonances into something new, and ultimately to guiding the new author crew, Yockey included, or Jeremy on this newest episode who thanked him.

The same man that picked up Wayward and connected Dreamhunter... back to his own work and moments. The insanity of yelling “HOW DARE YOU LESSEN DREAMHUNTER BY COMPARING IT TO DESTIEL!” when, dead ass, you’re looking at this author who has carefully incorporated work and, with an already resonant story, made another relationship familiar to us by making it similar. Because that’s how writing stories works! But either way, Bobo has been in here doggedly growing the breadth of the legitimacy of queer narrative in supernatural -- to the point that it HAS narrowly, quietly breached into text even if not “loud” or “visible” enough for some people -- and the point where the subtext is so wall to wall and flooding every piece of cinematography in shooting and not just set or lights but complete mise en scene -- a point where everybody OUTSIDE of fandom is just addressing this shit as what it clearly is --

...That’s something that came with bringing the scope of an LGBT male author into the show. Whether you like the volume he’s been allowed to take his work to or not is your own thing, but before yelling queerbait at any creatives, perhaps it’s time to play “sit down children, and learn to appreciate the activists who came before you and how they’re fighting for you right now”. You wanna yell at something, get organized, pelt the CW in a non-aggressive, non-light-on-fire way, do activism like the books Emily put together that are resultingly still on the current showrunner’s desk now 6 years later, but most of all, don’t take a shit all over content you would otherwise enjoy, at the expense of a man in the demographic you’re trying to represent, who has battled, LITERALLY, for both the women and the gays in this show. Wayward was his baby. This slow swing in S9 that turned into a loud din in S12? 

It wasn’t magic. It was a gay author. A gay author that has now climbed to be an Exec alongside dabb and the others and SURPRISE now suddenly everything’s so gay the whole goddamn world is seeing it. Literally SEEING IT, not just guys looking at each other with stories, but intentful, meritful choice in extremely bold cinematography choices that don’t require chasing a post-it on the wall, but instead are shot with care and devotion. Be that 12.19 Mixtape (OH DAT HIS) or 13.5′s Never Too Late (OH DAT YOCKEY. check what antis said to Dabb in his mentions after, even they saw it). Be that 14.18′s het drama PR promo (OH OOP DAT WAS HIS), be that 15.1-3′s entire tension and the openly addressed and so-called by media sources break up (OH DAT HIS), be that 15.7′s low key textuality (to which the new author thanked the elder for guidance, huh), or 8′s heavily shot domestic separation moment loudly filmed in the choicefully hollowed out and dimmed kitchen bereft of family -- this change? This had a moment. And you can find it.

I’ll have some beef jerky and a pack of menthols.

So this has been eating at me ever since this whole topic came into play. 

Anyway full circle them trying to ride Bobo to Keep It Straight probably wasn’t their smartest idea ever. We gays are contrarian by nature so tell me to do it again, motherfucker. And now here we are in Destiel Divorce Season 15 as heavily managed by Bobo.

Everyone got so fuckin dramatic when Yockey said he was leaving like, tolling the burial bells of Destiel and-- like??? hello? BOBO? JUST? GOT? PROMOTED? Like Yockey didn’t make that entire platform all by himself, and hell, he didn’t leave without laying out unironic empty space of it. Yo guys, Berens done been here a WHILE to the point he’s now *callbacking his own season 9-10 material wtih him and dabb*. Like. Lmao. Guys. Guys listen. Listen. Think.

Whatever your weird goalpost is I’m not promising anybody’s anything is about to get hit. Whatever clown nose expectations you all have enjoy those and honk those loud and proud but remember most of those are yours. But respect the fact that Berens has essentially cornerstoned an entire queer canon within Supernatural discussion, of which others are included in as they joined.

And yes, queer canon. Not the way fandom throws it around for weird kissing spots, but articles of discussion of queer narratives, of which we can literally draw a wealth of episodes from LGBT authors or their understudies and literally point and go “all of that right there, officer.” Whether it’s visible or textual or undodgeable or marketed enough or glittery enough or whatever for everyone’s very unstable definition of “canon” -- Berens has literally cornerstoned an entire architecture of queer canon within this legacy show.

[darkarfs]

My 10 Favorite WWE Matches of All Time (updated)

10: The 2001 Royal Rumble No matter how daft and stupid the product gets, I will never not stoke my head in around January. The Royal Rumble is my favorite match, but this one is my favorite favorite instance of that match. The pacing, the beautiful endurance of Kane, the hardcore interval (which Kane just decides to destroy), the Big Show returning after 4 months just to get shit-canned a minute into his run. There is so much to love about this mess. The preview of Rock and Austin that year for their Wrestlemania showdown. The fact that 4 or 5 of them (Rock, Austin, Kane, Undertaker, even Rikishi) could have been main event contenders. The best midcard in WWE history. Scotty 2 Hotty having the worst night of his life. Drew Carey just showing up. Bradshaw just cliffing everyone, because he's gotta get his shit in. Good Rumbles are like a 3 course meal, and this one is like all your courses at once, and then dessert is a treat you could die on. 9. Tyler Bate vs. WALTER - Takeover Cardiff Crowds make a lot of matches for me (thanks, 2020) but this crowd is especially electric, and for 24-year-old Tyler Bate, who is taking on a TANK, and that tank's name is WALTER, a TANK. But I will never not be a sucker for a David vs. Goliath story, and it was never better told than the boy made of thighs vs. the destroyer made of shattering palms. It is SO CARNY, so many feats of strength, so many OOOOOFS AND UUUUUURGHS that make this so great. Tyler was a hero on this night, but everyone knew he wasn't ready to win. Every feat is a magnificent reach. And it all means something to everyone. Make them what they know SHOULD happen and still surprise them with it. His "refusing to quit!" only to get shut down by a fucking chop. HE STANDS but is immediately ruined. It makes me. This shit fucking makes me. 8. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, 30-Minute Iron Woman Match - Takeover Respect Most of this is just a remix of their epic and warranted classic in Brooklyn. but then Sasha takes the headband off of Izzy. And then they both stepped it up and were *amazing*. We somehow lost Bayley's "RAAAAAH'S and that's sad for me. But then they RAMP IT UP. NOBODY LIKES YOU. FUCK YOU. WE'RE HAPPIER NOW. (WE'RE NOT.) But seriously, Sasha taking Izzy's headband and then THROWING IT AT HER started something special, something grand. THE OUTRAGE. The bastion of heel heat. And then the match got better. They hugged at the end of their encounter in Brooklyn, but then they started poisoning one another. And it all started with this amazing match. (Also, Bayley's amazing red and gold robot tights.) 7. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania 21 Listen. HBK's 'Mania outings with the Undertaker are solid "match of the decade" contenders, piss-easy. They are peerless, they are in a league of their own. But saying they're your favorite? Unless you are an actual wrestler, that's like saying "UH, MY FAVE BAND IS THE BEATLES." Ya boring, ya basic, and we can all do better. And seeing how I'm in my late 30s, I understand wrestling a little different than I did when I made this list in...2016??? Christ. I bet AJ Styles vs. John Cena was on it that year. Two of the best performers, both in their prime, and looking back on it, I just prefer the mix of character dynamics at play. Angle is easily one of the best in the world, but he has such an inferiority complex, because he's an Olympic gold medalist who is told *nightly* that he sucks, and he CAN'T best Michaels. He keeps coming back, and he's so charming, so effortlessly good at this whole "wrestling" thing, and it's slowly making Angle, who SHOULD be all of those things, absolutely *spare.* And that informs so many spots and story moments in the match itself, specifically when Angle LOSES it and starts shouting at him, only to have a superkick partied under his face. Angle is one of the best ever because his wrestling acumen served his character, never once defined it. 6. Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon, Wrestlemania 17 I haven't gone back to watch the whole of Vince vs. Shane THAT many times. What I have done is watch the finish about 65 times. There is something so addictive and magical about that one pop, when Linda stands up from her chair, and the ENTIRE crowd stands with her. And I'll 100% agree that Vince's comeuppance - one slap, one hoof to the balls, a Mandible Claw and a Coast-To-Coast dropkick - is not NEAR the actual comeuppance he should have gotten for some of the deplorable shit his character got up to from around the Rumble to this match (two of which they've done their very best to scrub from history, they're THAT bad.) But it's the purest example I can think of, of that pantomime aspect of wrestling. Vince McMahon is a deranged bastard. He likes dumb, cruel, crude things, but his commitment to being the world's 2nd-worst lizard man makes some of the stuff that happens to him more richly rewarding than almost any retribution in any medium, ever. The final 4 minutes of that match, the crowd is a fireworks display. They rise, they explode, they rise and explode, over and over. And again, shoutout to my boy 2020 for making me miss a crowd THAT big having THAT good a time. 5. Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver New York Now look, I'm not saying that NXT is essentially perfect for me, in terms for what I look for in wrestling. What I will say is that when it cooks, it combines the very best of indie stamina, choreography and stunt work with something WWE sometimes gets VERY right, and that is unabashed, unironic emotion. And it's not even that the intimacy of NXT being a smaller promotion has a denser, more specifically passionate fanbase. It's just the fact that NXT understands that so often, nuance and drama in wrestling doesn't come from promos, or swerves, or endless escalations of said drama, but from getting the FUCK out of the way and letting two of the best in the world *wrestle.* NXT is so good for providing context for the acts of jealousy, pride and entitlement, and then laying out a match that touches on all of these emotions throughout. This main event, built in two weeks, after a terribly-timed Ciampa injury, is actually VERRRY clever booking...disguised to look really simple. Cole starts the match as the crowd favorite, because he's the cool tweener everyone likes (with a catchphrase) to Gargano's unironic Disney prince. Over the course of Cole going all out, making subtle references to Johnny's feud with Ciampa, Gargano fighting from underneath, total fuck-off bastardry from the Undisputed Era (making poor Mauro Ranallo yell "YOU SNAKES!!") Maybe Cole WAS the better choice, but by the end of it, you didn't care. On that night, Johnny refused to lose, and the constant, exciting, *involving* wrestling dragged you to that emotional place. Damn right, you deserve it. 4. CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money In the Bank 2011 It might be a simple choice, but also, sometimes, it's really really gratifying to see a crowd who wants something get what they fucking want for once. A hot crowd makes a good match great, and a great match THIS. A crowd united, either for one guy, and against another, and in this case, BOTH. It makes every. Move. Matter. Trying to find a new angle on this match is like trying to find a new way to say fire is warm. And this crowd created a CAUSE. The no-sold pinfall, the attempted rehash of the Screwjob. Point out the botches if you must. The angle, the promo...it got my friends back into wrestling, a reason to care until the Shield. It's not the best, but it deserves to be. There is no wrestling crowd I wish I was more a part of. And I was at King of the Ring 1998. 3. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar, 60-Minute Iron Man match, Smackdown of September 18, 2003 It MAYBE was a bit of a "hipster" choice to name this my number 1 in 2016. But you know what? Bloody holds up. Two performers who feel "destined to do this forever," like a Triple H/Shawn Michaels, or a Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Possessed of freakish physical charisma, could go for days if pressed. Brock Lesnar, literally at the time ONE OF THE BEST ATHLETES in the WORLD being a lazy fucker and taking DQ points, laying the foundation of what Brock Lesnar would come to be known as. And Angle, in that rare position of everyone knowing he's the best thing going. Brilliant Lazy Asshole Brock and Certified Wrestling Machine Angle are two of my unironic favorite characters in all of wrestling, and it's a buffet of THAT. Like a Royal Rumble, only it's just two dudes, being the best they've ever been. 2. DIY vs. the Revival - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver Toronto "Tag team wrestling?" says main roster WWE. "What is this...tag team wrestling?" Well, this is it, at its absolute best. It's up there with Rey Mysterio and Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle from No Mercy 2002 for just brilliant, rock-solid tag team psychology. There are more story opportunities when there are more rules to break, how can WWE *not get behind that?* In terms of chemistry, both between opponents and between teams, in terms of callbacks like Johnny muscling through the exact same inverted figure four that lost them the belts in Brooklyn. It is a perfect match. Not an ounce of fat on it. And that closing sequence, of each member of DIY locking the Revival in their signature holds, and the men now known as FTR clinging to one another. It's probably the best tag match in the history of the WWE, and considering the caliber of tag matches on TakeOvers, is FUCKING saying something. 1. Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar, Survivor Series 2018 This match is everything I always hoped for. For the longest time, after the 2015 Royal Rumble debacle, when Reigns won, when simply everything we knew about storytelling said "no, of course it should be Bryan," I wondered what that 'Mania match would look like. If it were anything like this, I would have died a happy man. But then again, what makes this match so GOOD is that Bryan had just come back from an early retirement caused by head and neck surgery, and here he is, being dropped on his head and neck by Brock Fucking Lesnar, aka what would happen if the concept of "not giving a shit" gained corporeal form and starting shilling for Jimmy John's. The match gets really ugly, really fast, and Bryan takes us to uncomfortable places with his selling. It wasn't just the retirement angle, it was also the fact that Brock had turned out some REALLY lazy shit by that point in his career, so we had all mentally prepared for another finish-spamming early night. And then. AND THEN... Bryan hoofs him in the walnuts, hits the running knee, gives us the absolute closest 2-count of the decade, and then the fight is fucking on. Bryan went, over the course of 2 minutes, from never having a chance against Brock Lesnar to it being an *absolute certainty* that he was going to BEAT BROCK LESNAR. Anytime you visibly leave your seat every few seconds during a match, you know it's a special one. Again, it took me away, had me absolutely *screaming* at my monitor, elated, invested, and I don't know what more your favorite match can ask of you. But what happens when your favorite match isn't a match at all? No. 0: The Firefly Funhouse - Wrestlemania 36 I'm not kidding, it actually might be my favorite thing. It could be just my brain latching onto the Cult of the New, but I don't think so. It's not a match, I get it. It exists in a weird null-void outside of time and space, but mostly I am floored that they would broadcast something so virulently anti-WWE. Like, we talk of CM Punk and how WWE let him get away with all his little jokes and cut his little Pipebomb promo. But then WWE signed off on Bray Wyatt tearing the soul out of their business. Burying the biggest star of this generation, skewering and laying bare all of terrible WWE's terrible priorities, and also celebrating insider knowledge, wrestling history, and I just...love it. Right now, it's my favorite thing WWE have ever put out, because it did something they've never done before, told a story I didn't think they were capable of telling. And sure, it was Bray who told it, but I still can't believe it aired. But I am endlessly thankful that it did.

[hazelandglasz]

7 kurtbastian. Can kurt be one wearing the wet white shirt?

7. … being drenched whilst wearing white

Of course !

On AO3

He won’t ever admit to it, but Sebastian loves his job, unironically.

Being Santa at the mall (and the prophet Elijah, the Easter bunny, and, on occasion the Tooth Fairy) brings him more joy than he could explain.

For one, it’s a job, and one he does pretty well.

For two, Sebastian adores little kids and their brutal honesty and wicked sense of humor.

For three …

Well, it’s a little less innocent, a lot more perverted and 100% selfish.

See, the different characters he brings to life need sidekicks. Of course Santa needs his elves; the prophet Elijah is accompanied by matzos, wine cups and a star of David; the Easter bunny has decorated eggs and the Tooth fairy has teeth.

Slightly creepy yes he is aware, and he really hates the Tooth fairy gig.

And just as Sebastian is the mall’s designated main character, the actors playing the sidekicks are also regulars.

Sebastian’s interest in hs job owes probably more than it should to one of such actors in particular.

Tall, slender yet muscular, vibrant blue eyes and a wit to match his own: Kurt Hummel has it all.

So much, in fact, that even Sebastian doesn’t know how to approach him, let alone seduce and date him.

Because for some reason that Sebastian doesn’t want to explore too deeply, he doesn’t want to simply add Kurt to his “wins”.

No, Sebastian wants to woo the guy, but he …

Doesn’t dare.

No, he’s happy to admire from afar, like someone appreciating a sculpture in a gallery.

Kurt has the advantage over the sculpture that he is alive, and moving, and running.

Oh, they changed the outfit of the Elves this year, Sebastian notices as he takes his seat.

All in white.

A play on the White Christmas theme going around the mall, he supposes.

Kurt Hummel manages to look good in a white, satiny elf costume, where is the justice in that, dear Lord?

At this point, Sebastian is all for making the Yuletide very, very gay--at least in his head.

What he didn’t expect, what he didn’t see coming and thus didn’t prepare himself to be confronted with, was the sight presently facing him.

One of the kids was just so excited to see him, to get to sit on Santa’s lap, that he tripped and his bottle of apple juice just flew.

Uncapped.

Against Kurt’s chest.

Turns out, the flimsy material constituting the Elves’ costumes doesn’t deal well with being wet.

Not only is the top of it now stuck to Kurt’s chest, and boy oh boy, what a chest, but it has turned see-through.

Sebastian has an irrepressible need to suck the apple juice of Kurt’s chest, if only two see if those abs are ticklish or not.

He needs to have an answer to this question.

“Kurt, come over here,” he signals, clearing his throat and opening the workshop hutt.

Kurt’s jaw is clenched as he follows Sebastian in, no doubt repressing insults and curse words.

And Sebastian needs to talk to his therapist, since he can’t help but think that anger suits Kurt far too well.

If he’s being honest, Sebastian would admit that he may have developed a Pavlovian reflex of getting aroused at the sight of Kurt Hummel’s scowl.

“God fucking dammit,” Kurt growls while Sebastian looks through their stuff for towels.

“Here,” Sebastian pulls a hand towel from the cupboard. “Hopefully it’s clean.”

Kurt grabs the towel and starts scrubbing at the stain of juice. “Thanks, Smythe,” he says, without the usual venom he injects in his voice when talking to Sebastian. “But I think it’s a lost cause. I think Rory left his suit here yesterday, I’ll just borrow it.”

Before Sebastian can turn, or prepare himself, or escape to slow down the beating of his heart, Kurt has unbuttoned his shirt and taken it off.

Hooooooooly sugar canes.

“Hum, I, uh …”

Kurt looks over his shoulder, and that is definitely a smirk on his lips.

Sebastian should know, he is a professional smirker.

“Like what you see, Sebastian?”

“It’s not making me blind, color me surprised.”

Kurt snorts, pulling out the shirt. “It’s making you hot in your Santa jacket, it’s what it is.”

“It’s a warm Santa jacket.”

“Not that warm. Besides, I see you lookin’.”

“Just appreciating the view.”

“Ah,” Kurt nods his head before pulling the clean short on. “So you’re an aesthet.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s not very Santa like,” Kurt continues, getting closer. How did Sebastian not see that he was getting closer?

“How--how so?”

“Well,” Kurt says, now close enough that Sebastian can smell his cologne. Whatever it is, there is also a light layer of apple to it that is not off-putting. “I’ve always been of the opinion that Christmas is all about giving.”

“Hm?”

“Are you trying to offend the spirit of Christmas?”

Oh, two can play that game. Sebastian steps forward, putting one hand on Kurt’s waist. “Au contraire, mon cher. I’m all to be the spirit of Christmas, in the flesh.”

Kurt cocks one eyebrow at him. “So generous.”

“I try.”

“You should start with your elves.”

“Give them a holiday bonus?”

“Good idea--hmmm.”

[faust-the-danger-noodle]

Modern au headcanons for what the Arcana characters watch on TV and what snacks they'd enjoy while watching their programs? Lol

Asra: He for SURE watches Spongebob, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, and like…reruns of classic Cartoon Network shows. And he’d definitely eats Trolli Sour Gummy Worms and Wildberry Poptarts. He also watches his shows while curled up in bed, wrapped in blankets and surrounded by pillows.

Nadia: She watches Scandal, but she also has a guilty pleasure for watching reality TV shows like Project Runway, RuPaul’s Drag Race, America’s Next Top Model, and Say Yes To The Dress. Valerius joins her, and they snack on wine and cheese and discuss their own critiques of the competitors.This has caused some very heated arguements.

Julian: He loves Scrubs reruns and religiously rewatches The Princess Bride. He also watches the classic movie channels, especially Errol Flynn and Fred and Ginger movies. He snacks on dark chocolate, often in the form of chocolate covered coffee beans. He’s also always up for a Golden Girls marathon.

Muriel: Oh man, this boy loves Animal Planet. He really enjoys Dr. Jeff: Rocky Mountain Vet, and nature documentaries. But secretly, one of his favorite shows is Too Cute. When Portia finds out, she demands they watch it together. His snacks of choice would be Trail Mix and Chex Mix Muddie Buddies.

Portia: She’s really into cooking competition shows, the more ridiculous the better. Chopped, Iron Chef, and Cutthroat Kitchen are favorites of hers. She also joins Muriel in watching Too Cute. She likes to snack on brownies, cookies, and other things she’s baked.

Lucio: Lucio has two modes when it comes to TV. He’s either watching Game of Thrones while stanning characters that everyone hates, or he’s unironically watching trashy reality shows. He keeps up with every spinoff of Real Housewives, Celebrity Big Brother, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians. And his snacks are ridiculously bougie and over the top. Anything with gold leaf, truffles, caviar, or topped with real diamonds? He’s all over it.

Send me headcanon requests! My inbox is open~