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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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I am once more begging people, BEGGING, to at least READ Batman #416 if you’re going to cite every moment of Dick meeting Jason and then blowing up at Bruce, except in a totally ‘that’s not at all how it happened’ kinda way.

If I have to read ONE MORE sizzling hot take about how Dick blew up at Bruce and stormed off at the end of that encounter, when THIS is how it ACTUALLY ended....

Ah yes, the famous Dick Grayson temper, better described as ‘someone else loses their shit at Dick and fandom twists it into the exact opposite so he’s actually the bad guy all along.’

Was Dick heated before that point? Yup. Did he have reason to be? Also yup. Did Bruce, however, have reason to be heated that Dick had the gall to be coming back to his childhood home to confront him about the fact that after eighteen months of not speaking, when Bruce is the one who CHOSE to not even say goodbye to Dick or make any effort to still make a place for Dick in his life after firing him, with the only possible indication in all that time through which Dick was expected to come up with even an INKLING that Bruce missed him was discovering from reading the paper that Bruce had given his old mantle to a new, even younger partner? Its gonna be a big fat NOPE from me, guys.

There’s an exchange between them a few pages before this that always resonated with me....

Bruce: The truth is, I taught you everything I could. It was time for you to step out on your own.

Dick: So you figured the best thing for you to do was drive me out of your life, right? That’s exactly what you do to anyone who gets too close. Always hurt them before they have a chance to hurt you. It didn’t matter to you that I didn’t have any life other than the one we shared.

Like, I can not express any more clearly why it drives me so B-A-N-A-N-A-S to see people spin this so that it was Bruce that was somehow the victim of his son’s tempestuous, nomadic ways. Like he was somehow left behind, that Dick outgrew him or moved on, and everything Dick felt about Robin after the fact was him throwing spoiled temper tantrums that someone dared pick up something he no longer wanted. Umm. No times infinity and beyond.

Bruce was the one with all the power. Bruce was the one making all the choices. All Dick had, at most, was the choice to either stay somewhere Bruce seemed intent on driving him away from, or go somewhere else. This issue clearly expressed that like. Bruce wasn’t open to talking. Not when he fired Dick as Robin, there was no negotiating that, and even throughout this whole encounter here, where Dick comes here and says “I think you owe me some explanations” because based on everything Bruce was doing and how radically opposed those actions are to the last interactions he and Bruce had, which had a HUGE impact on Dick’s life, yes, he WAS owed explanations here, make no mistake....even here, Bruce spends the whole encounter acting like he’s being unfairly interrogated, like its trying his patience to even have to deal with Dick being there at all....

Phones work two ways, Bruce. There’s two people in this dynamic. If you haven’t heard from Dick in eighteen months, its equally true that he hasn’t heard from you in eighteen months. And if you missed him so damn much, you know what was always a perfectly valid way to express that, which DIDN’T involve anyone else? Picking up the damn phone and calling Dick and telling him that.

Bruce acts like that was never even an option, like HE was the one stuck with limited choices based on Dick’s behavior throughout all this time, and that’s just flat out, unconditionally, one hundred percent, NOT TRUE. Bruce was the one in charge. The one calling the shots. The one with the resources, the power, the authority. Dick was ALWAYS the one who had more to lose, of the two of them.

And Bruce knew all this when he took Dick in. He knew all this when he took Robin away from Dick while the latter was still a teenager, still living at home. And he was the one who failed to even so much as OFFER Dick an alternative take on how he could still be there, still be in Bruce’s life, part of his family, still share in being part of his life, the life the two of them had shared, now that Bruce had made the choice that Dick no longer had the option of living out his part of that life in the manner they’d BOTH built up for him originally.

And yet for so many years, fandom has added insult to injury by acting like the cherry on top here, Bruce giving away the very mantle he took from Dick, like this was somehow completely reasonable because in comparison, Dick is the one being unreasonable. People completely gloss over that little act of Bruce’s to focus instead on how Dick reacted, instead of giving that betrayal of trust its own fair due and focus, and the problem is....they don’t even actually focus on how Dick actually acted! Again, notice it was Dick who approached Bruce, and Bruce who told Dick to leave. It was Dick who had actual cause to be angry, but Bruce who blew up and broke shit because Dick dared demand answers.

And this is the way Dick leaves things with Jason, btw. I know people know this part by now, mostly at least, about the phone number and such, but how many people have actually SEEN how that played out rather than just heard it summarized in a dry recitation of events that underplays just how that interaction went?

Like, that wasn’t just Dick acting like this was being FORCED upon him and bleeding reluctance at every turn. He went above and fucking beyond to make Jason feel welcomed and secure in his position as Robin. But that’s not how the narrative goes in fandom, is it? Even when acknowledging this part, people act like Dick was at most doing the bare minimum, instead of acknowledging that Dick didn’t owe anyone this at all. No, it wasn’t Jason’s fault he became Robin, but NONE of this was Dick’s fault, Dick’s choice, or Dick’s RESPONSIBILITY. He wasn’t living at home, in Bruce’s life, and he wasn’t adopted yet let alone even still Bruce’s ward at this point. He’d aged out at eighteen. Dick had NO actual ties to Bruce and by extension Jason at this particular moment in time, and thus no ACTUAL obligations to either of them, no matter how much fandom harps on him having failed Jason as a brother back during this time when more accurately, Bruce was actively failing Dick as a father - as in not even being one, but Dick’s responsibilities towards a family he didn’t have at the moment are supposed to be still intact? NOPE. Don’t think so.

But Dick, INSTEAD, puts Jason FIRST, puts him OVER his obviously hurt and bitter feelings to focus on what’s best for Jason here, and gives him literally everything he CAN to do right by Jason here. He gives Jason his own old costume and clear approval, cementing Jason’s place as Robin in a way not even Bruce could when giving it to Jason, because it was never Bruce’s to actually pass on. Jason even wonders earlier in the issue if Dick might want his old role back, and Dick puts that fear to rest, without any hesitation or doubt.

In addition, Dick offers up support and solidarity he doesn’t owe Jason, doesn’t owe anyone, because its HIS time, HIS support, its not something someone can take for granted and yet too many people do....especially considering that in the hyper-fixation on how much support and time Dick supposedly DIDN’T offer or grant Jason, most people pay next to no attention to the fact that it wasn’t like Dick was being given time or support by Bruce, ie Dick is going out of his way to offer stuff he’s not even getting himself, because he RECOGNIZES from that what its like not to have it. Basically what I mean is all that talk about Dick being a hypocrite for doing to others what he complains about Bruce not doing for him? Patently untrue, as we see here, because this is Dick actively acting upon what he’s missing out on by making sure that others don’t miss out on it because of Bruce’s failings or emotional repression.

And look at the end result.....Jason’s enjoying his teamup with Dick, these aren’t two people who look pained at being forced into proximity or acting like the other is a burden to be around or thinking the other doesn’t really want to be here. They were comfortable from practically the word go, because Dick knows how to make people uncomfortable but he also knows how to make people comfortable, and he made the CHOICE, the INTENT to make sure he was someone Jason felt WANTED to be there with him, the complete opposite of someone who is taking out their bitterness or resentment on their replacement or at least not trying to hide it very well.

So my question is.....what the hell else is it people wanted Dick to do? When they cite this issue specifically, at least, when they talk about the time Dick went to Gotham to confront Bruce about Robin, when they talk about the phone number or the costume or the teamup or the things that so often get mentioned in passing like they’re insignificant or the bare minimum or mere formalities that do nothing to take away from all the supposed OTHER asshole behavior that Dick allegedly heaped on Jason despite never actually happening anywhere, even a little bit, and thus that some people claim is just an extrapolation of how Dick PROBABLY acted off the page, given his clear resentment and jealousy....umm. Huh? Based off THIS? Seriously, I mean it. What ELSE was Dick supposed to have done, to counter that take, what else could he POSSIBLY have done to do right by Jason here, that he didn’t actually already do? What exactly did people want from this character, in order to not hold this eternal grudge they have against him for what a big old jerk he was to Jason, who did nothing to deserve it - with that part being true at least, and literally WHY Dick made the point to recognize that and not take out his feelings on Jason?

Like, this will never not be an axe for me to grind because like. The SPIN fandom always gives all this, when look at the last page of this issue......Bruce is watching from a distance, and even he’s like thanks Dick, and that honestly bugs me so much. Because in the end, the only one of these three characters who DIDN’T get what he wanted here, was Dick. Jason got the validation and security as Robin he was looking for, the approval of his predecessor, and words of advice and an offer to listen and be there should he ever want to talk. Bruce got Dick’s validation of the actions Bruce took that he had no right to take when giving his old mantle to Jason, but that Dick ratified all the same, even if it was for Jason’s sake and not Bruce’s. Bruce still got the closure on that particular mistake of his, with the evidence that Dick was willing to see past it for Jason’s sake rather than drag it out....like. Dick is the only one who didn’t get what he was looking for there, he didn’t even get an apology from Bruce for overstepping when he passed on Dick’s mantle, an acknowledgment that this was WRONG, the most Dick got was Bruce admitting for a single panel that he missed him.....before telling Dick to leave and get out and effectively taking back anything Dick could have possibly taken away from that admittance. Because what the fuck does it matter if someone misses you if even though they finally have you right there in front of them, they still tell you to leave again anyway?

In conclusion, I hate this issue, lol, because everybody seems to know what’s in it and yet practically nobody ever seems interested in referencing what’s ACTUALLY in it. Instead just forever playing telephone with the most bad faith interpretation of Dick’s actions possible.

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adhdeancas · 4 years

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12x01 Rewrite with Trans Dean

trigger warnings for minor mention of dysphoria. Also minor/negligent transphobia.

“Mom?” His heart is stopped in his chest, staring at the face he’s kept in his head for all of his life, the face he’s thought of as the only real home he’s ever had. She looks the same, exactly the same. “I… uh, are you really… real?”

He reaches out without thinking, needing to just make sure that Amara didn’t bring back a fantasy or a ghost or a sick joke. She proves it without him touching her, flipping him in a neat trick he recognizes from his own training and ending up with her foot on his neck, pressing him into the dirt. “Where am I? Who the hell are you?”

She looks so scared. Dean swallows, his Adam’s apple bouncing against the bottom of her foot. He needs to make her trust him, preferably before she does something rash like snap his neck. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m your son. I’m… Sam’s brother”

The pressure lets up on Dean’s neck even though Mary’s shaking her head. “No. No, I don’t have two boys. They’re- they’re just kids.”

Dean winces, breathing heavily. This is gonna be a motherfucker for her to understand. Still, Mary lets him up, and he stands and rubs his neck, trying desperately to recall every bit of information he’s stored away about his mom. “Mom. Listen to me. Your name- your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.”

Mary flinches, the facts hitting straight-on. “How do you know all that?”

“Dad told me.” Dean tells her. He doesn’t tell her that he had to gather the story from slurred words, drunken tears in between stories about the perfect wife. That he recited them in his head like a prayer so he wouldn’t forget her. “March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater - Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh,” God, what was the name of that stupid place? “Mulroney’s, and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song,” A memory of a smiling young alive Mary comes to mind, and he pushes it away because it hurts. She’s right there. “So when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that -” You fell in love with- “that you met -”

“John Winchester.”

“August 19, 1975, you were married… in Reno. Your idea.”Dean had always thought that was hilarious. He looks her in the eyes again, pleading with her to not dispute the next part. “A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.”

“No, no. My oldest was a girl, Deanna.” Mary looks Dean up and down, taking in his short hair, wide shoulders, and flat chest. He crosses his arms over that now, uncomfortable, hoping she isn’t looking at his long eyelashes or his delicate cheekbones or his hips. All the places he’s insecure about.

“Yeah, um… that’s me.” He looks up at her, his jaw clenching, waiting for the ball to drop. “I shortened the name a little, and the- uh- hair.” He tries for the old charming smile as he runs a hand through the spiky hair he hasn’t let grow out in 20 years. It doesn’t quite get there, settling at a more delicate need for approval. Mary doesn’t give it to him. “Do you believe me?”

She bypasses the question, turning her eyes away from him to look at the car behind him. Something changes in her eyes. “I burned.” She says quietly, like she’s remembering the heat. Dean swallows. He remembers the heat too. “How long have I been gone?”

“33 years.” His voice cracks.

Mary looks back to him, and she moves forward, putting two gentle fingers to his cheek, to the freckles sprayed across soft skin. He’s had them forever, even when he was little. “Dee?” She calls him by his old nickname; Dean’s doubly thankful that he doesn’t use his deadname.

“Hi, mom.” There are tears in his eyes.

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“How did he die?”

Dean bows his head. He’s really not selling himself too good here, is he? First the trans thing, now- “He gave himself up for me.” He’ll be surprised if Mary wants anything to do with him. Surprisingly, she chuckles and sniffles.

“That does sound like John.” He looks over, and she’s smiling. His brow furrows. Killing himself to save Dean’s ass does sound like John, but not in a way that makes him want to smile. “And he was a hunter? And he raised-” She stutters now, looking at him again and looking away just as quickly. “You and Sam to be-”

“Yeah, he did.” A cold weight is settling in Dean’s stomach, and he tries and fails to not let it seep into his words.

“And you said we’ve met before, when you traveled through time,”

Dean nods. It had been horrible and amazing to see Mary and have her see him, just as some guy. A guy, at all. “Twice. Your memory got wiped, so…” So you don’t remember me telling you I was your kid, and you not believing me. I do.

“And you’re… my daughter-”

Dean coughs. He hasn’t been called a daughter in a long-ass time. “No, I’m- I mean. I was. I know it’s a lot. And I’ll explain everything. I will. But right now, let’s get out of here. Let’s get you home. Come on, Mom.”

She doesn’t correct him, which means she must believe, at least a little bit, that she is his mom.

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“You live here?” She looks around the cavernous space and he smiles, looking around too. It really is awesome.

“Yeah, when we’re not on the road. It’s an old Men of Letters bunker.”

“Men of Letters?” She scoffs. Dean grins a bit and looks at her. He thinks he likes her. “They’re a myth. An old hunter’s story.”

He tilts his head. He’s just gonna keep blowing her mind today, apparently. “Not so much. New duds look good.” He gestures to her clothes. He’d lent her some extra clothes he’d had in the trunk, and he tries not to fixate on how they weren’t that big on her. He’s not much taller than her, and he knows part of that even is the heeled boots he’s wearing.

“Well, thanks. It’s better than walking around in that nightgown the rest-” Dean’s nodding, about to say something extremely awkward like ‘Yeah, nightgowns are a bitch,’ when he finally looks at what she’s staring at, spattered on the floor of the bunker. “That’s blood.”

“Yeah.” Dean’s heart leaps into his throat, but he goes into autopilot before he can think about freaking out. He takes his gun out from his pants and cocks it, clearing the immediate area. A blurred sigil on the wall puts another bolt of fear through his chest. “Sammy? Cas?” He winces at how high his voice goes.

He takes the Map Table’s gun out from its hiding place and hands it to Mary. She was a hunter too, and he’s not about to leave her unarmed to clear the place. “Take this. Stay here.” Dean takes off immediately. It isn’t until he’s moving on to check the kitchen that he hears the voice. Mary’s clear as a bell, saying,

“Hands, now,”

Dean’s in the room before he can think about it. His heart practically comes undone when he sees that dumb familiar trench coat. He puts his body between Cas and his mom’s gun immediately, hoping she will trust him enough not to shoot through him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! It’s okay, it’s okay. He’s a friend, all right?” He meets Cas’s eyes and sees the utter relief in his eyes, and a surge of warmth fills his chest. “Hey, Cas.”

It’s a lackluster greeting when they both thought they’d never see each other again, and Cas shows it when he steps forward quickly and pulls Dean into a tight hug. “Dean!”

Dean grins and pats his back. “Hey, okay. All right,” He comforts him quietly.

“Dean, you’re alive?” Cas pulls away and looks him over, like he’s afraid Dean might disappear. Dean nods, understanding; he had done the same thing to Mary, after all.

“Yeah.”

“What about the bomb and the Darkness? What happened?”

“I’ll tell you everything. Where is Sam?”

“He’s not here.” Obviously. Dean could smack him, but his face wants to break into a fond smile instead. He represses both urges.

“Are you a hunter?”

“No, I’m an angel.”

“He’s an angel.” Dean says over Cas. They look at each other and then back at Mary.

“Come again?”

“An angel, with a capital A,” Dean clarifies. He feels, ridiculously, a little bit like he’s showing off. Showing Cas off. “You know, wings, harp.”

“No, I don’t have a harp.”

Dean laughs. “This is Castiel. Cas, this is… Mary. Winchester.”

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“It’s been kinda weird, here. You know, with mom being back?” And learning that her baby girl is now a full grown man? “It’s like we don’t know how to act around each other, so we just kinda make this small talk, and act like it’s normal, but it’s- it’s so not normal.” Dean can hear the pleading in his voice.

“What has she said to you?” Cas asks quickly. Dean bites his lip to hide the smile he’s trying to get from hearing Cas get all angry and protective on his behalf. He’s reminded of the time Cas looked him directly in the face and said, ‘Dean Winchester, if anyone is ever transphobic to you, I will smite them immediately and without any remorse.’ And before Dean could make a quip about internalized transphobia, Cas added, ‘Do not make me do that to you.’

“Well, nothing. That’s- that’s the whole point.” It’s the kind of thing most people usually wanna go over, what the fuck gender their kid is? He’s pretty sure no news does not mean good news in this context.

“Okay, what have you said to her?”

“Well, nothing. I’m- I don’t know what to say to her, y’know? It’s like it’s all too much, and I don’t wanna overwhelm her.”

“Dean, your identity is not ‘too much.’” Cas says immediately. Dean sighs. That wasn’t what he meant, even though he has said something similar before. Something when he was lonely and sad and feeling like explaining his dick to a one night stand was too complicated for him to do to even assuage it that way.

“No- I know. It’s not that. It’s… everything.”

Now it’s Cas’s turn to sigh. “Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated, as you humans tend to do. I’ll call you.” He hangs up.

Dean lets the phone fall with his arm limp to his side. “Yeah. Great. That’s helpful.” He says to the empty air. “That’s helpful.” Asshole.

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They’re in the car, and Dean is driving, and there is too much going on. He’s not sure whether he’s happy that Cas is in the backseat for this conversation or not. “So you’re… my Deanna.”

Dean’s hands tighten on the wheel. He looks at them and ignores the voice in his head that says they are petite. Womanly. “Uh, yeah. I was born Deanna Jane Winchester.” He clears his throat and meets Cas’s eyes in the rearview. He gives him a little nod, and Dean continues. “I’m… It’s called trans.”

Dean risks a look over at Mary, and she’s playing with her ring. “So you… wanted to be a boy.”

Dean clears his throat again. He’s pretty sure he does it every time before he talks, and he’s also pretty sure his voice gets lower every time he talks, too. He swears it’s an automatic reflex.

“Dean’s soul is- that of a human man.” Cas interrupts, saying it like that clarifies things. The corner of Dean’s mouth tilts up a little bit. Cas did tell him that he could see his soul, and also told him that it was, and he quotes ‘A color more similar to that of a men than women.’ Which, yeah, that tracks. He guesses Cas leaves off the ‘more similar’ part to make things simpler for Mary.

“And so you…” Mary trails off, a finger pointing toward his chest aborting its mission when she realizes it might be rude.

Dean raises an eyebrow with amusement. “Cut my tits off? Yeah.” He takes a hand off the wheel to raise his shirt, proudly showing off his top surgery scars. Mary trails a hand along them, feeling the raised skin. “After Sammy went to college. It was a bitch of a few weeks, but it was worth it.”

Mary takes her hand away and nods, brows furrowed like she’s trying to wrap her head around it. Dean grins. The grin freezes awkwardly, the edges tilting down, when Mary opens her mouth again. “So you have a-”

Cas coughs loudly in the back seat. Dean meets his wide eyes with a similar expression, and Mary cuts off the question, catching onto the fact she said something wrong. “Don’t think we really need to go there, do we, mom?”

That was a question for him and whatever lucky son of a bitch (gender neutral) ended up in his bed at the end of the night. “Right.” Mary says quickly. She turns her whole body then, asking, “Is that why you like men?”

Dean only swerves a little, he swears. The car coming the opposite direction doesn’t seem to agree, holding its horn long and hard. Luckily, it gives him a moment to stutter less obviously.

“Sorry, I just meant- since you two are-” Mary gestures between Cas and Dean, and Dean blinks his eyes solidly, trying to convince himself this is really happening.

“No! I mean, we-” Dean doesn’t have the balls (hehe) to look at Cas in the back seat, but he can see the trench coat shifting out of his peripheral. “I’m not-”

“Was John okay with this?”

Dean laughs. It comes out bitter and dark. “Dad didn’t much give a fuck what I did with my body. He’d given up on grandkids about the time he saw how decent I was at hunting, so my long hair wasn’t a personal loss.” He knew I wasn’t gonna live long enough to give him grandkids, not without some self-sacrifice on John’s part.

Mary looks a little shocked at his outburst, and Dean almost feels bad for being so blunt and crass. But then he remembers growing up with John as his male role model, and he tightens his jaw. No, the bluntness and crassness was accurate. “Oh.”

“... Yeah.” Dean bites his lip and risks another glance at his mom.

“So, you’re okay with this?” He waves a hand at himself. Asking if she was okay with him was just too pathetic, even for him. She looks at him uncertainly, a frown he recognizes as his own on her face.

“I don’t think I’m okay with any of this, Dean. But… I guess I’ll adjust.”

#tw: dysphoria #trans dean #destiel #deancas #ftm dean #transmasc dean #fanfic #dean is trans #my writing #mine

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phantomrose96 · 3 years

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Oof, which scenes of yours stick to mind. Bakugo getting his memories back and having a breakdown after he's set free; Deku's son talking to Inko and her sadly confirming Deku barely even visits her anymore; All Might gently chastising Deku for immediately wanting to give AfO to his (he thinks) now-quirkless son; the girl from the Candy Hair Saga piledriving the MC and accidentally restoring his memories causing him to reach out to her again; the seamstress seeing tiny child Edward for the 1/2

2/2 first time; the superheroine realizing the person who's mentoring her is setting up a bike theft and the boy who swallows fire buried on a burning building; Momo the skeleton with a giant plate of food she'll never finish. I have a visual memory so I'm cheating a bit, but your writing has a way of painting horrible pictures that sear the mind's-eye. Great work. I'd put a thumbs-up emoji here if I were on mobile

(fanfic ask meme)

man oh man oh man alright

Bakugo getting his memories back and having a breakdown after he's set free

(King)

tbh King might be my favorite of my bnha fanfictions. it's one of those fics where the implications kept building while I was writing it.

Also! In the earliest draft of King, Bakugou kind of just remembers everything from the start and the audience is walked through the flashback while he's sitting at the police station in the first scene. As I tinkered more with the fic, I realized it was more interesting to keep that part vague at first, let Bakugou's memories be partially repressed by the trauma, and then written-over as the lawyers grill into him the Right Version Of Events.

And that I could then fill the audience in properly at the exact moment Bakugou learns he's been let off the hook

Deku's son talking to Inko and her sadly confirming Deku barely even visits her anymore; All Might gently chastising Deku for immediately wanting to give AfO to his (he thinks) now-quirkless son

(Origin of a Non-Hero)

(I'm still really glad when people bring up OoaNH because that was the first substantial thing I wrote after a very long distancing myself from writing and I kinda thought it was a complete mess when posting it.)

When I was figuring out what to do with this story, I was struggling with the ending. For a while I thought the last scene would be a confrontation between Shiki and Deku. I even tried drafting that. But I couldn't come up with anything satisfying. To have Deku apologize and make up with Shiki as an ending didn't make sense, since the fic established how one-time "I'm sorry"s don't fix the issues being explored. But to have Shiki reject the apology? Anything I came up with felt too bitter to end on...

So I realized the way I wanted to end the piece didn't have any actual confrontation between Deku and Shiki at all. Instead I broke it up. Have Shiki and Inko together, with Shiki asking if he's in the wrong for wishing he could have just had normal parents who were proud of him, to Inko who would understand this more than anyone. And have Deku and All Might together, with Deku asking if he'd failed his son, to All Might would who understand this better than anyone.

the girl from the Candy Hair Saga piledriving the MC and accidentally restoring his memories causing him to reach out to her again

(Candy Hair Saga)

THAT was so fun! For a couple reasons! When I first made the post I was kind of just messing around and the "villain" who was targeting the background-characters-turned-main-character could be anyone. The moment I realized the exact way to tie everything together, with the reveal of the villain, I was like hopping out of my chair.

AND it was extra fun because the whole thing is a joking exploration of cliches and tropes, so for the memories and flashbacks? I just went full ham with the cheesiest, tropiest, backstoriest execution of that and it's frankly REALLY fun to indulge in that without worrying "am i being cliche? am i being unoriginal?" this was just like doesnt matter babey, we're TRYING to be a cliche.

the seamstress seeing tiny child Edward for the first time;

(See Them Buried)

(I'm still delightfully surprised with how much attention See Them Buried has gotten. I was expecting very little at all for an OC-centric fic.)

I think I'd been thinking about how all the "youre the fullmetal alchemist but youre so small" remarks might NOT have just been short-jabs and very well might have been people from an outside perspective seeing Ed and being like "this is a CHILD. why is he a soldier?" and anyway I have feelings about that.

the superheroine realizing the person who's mentoring her is setting up a bike theft and the boy who swallows fire buried on a burning building;

(Hero Syndrome)

Back on my brand of "wouldnt it be fucked up if" bnha fics. So the fire boy's story was actually the first one of the three I came up with. Just thinking about how the BNHA world's hero worship almost definitely encourages reckless acts of heroism, and what happens when that goes wrong, and what happens if those acts were inspired by a big-name hero? (which led to me coining the plot twist that's revealed at the end)

Then I got to thinking about the other messages Deku receives in canon, which work out great for him, but could easily go south for people not as lucky. and well what happens to society if those get mass projected...

Momo the skeleton with a giant plate of food she'll never finish.

(Branding the Hero)

The funny thing about Branding the Hero is it was kind of a passive-aggressive response to the whole "Momo's costume has to be that way because of her quirk!" argument. Like, "yeah? yeah is that so? we REALLY care about 'the way her quirk works'? we REALLY are just concerned with 'making sure her quirk works to the best of its ability'? let's fucking talk about that then"

And then the implications just got worse the deeper I dug.

#this was a lot of fun to go through thanks!!!!#ask #long post

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generallypo · 4 years

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in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh.

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anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding!

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes..

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way.

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ.

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically.

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that.

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you.

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him.

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]]

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself.

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise.

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines.

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out. i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah.

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

#omniscient reader #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #fanart #kdj happiness rights!#protect him!#let! him! have his big house! with everyone! he loves!#please!#long ass emotional screeching #look i can't do him justice with drawing but hell can i yell out my love for him :'^DD

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thatabitcryptic · 4 years

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How do you think fidds and fords relationship developed over the years? Like from college to marriage(May and Fidds) to portal partners to enemys to lovers etc. I have my own headcanons but I want to know what you think!

O o o o o o o ok I am a sap so uhh here we go

So during college I don’t really think they had an established romantic relationship,, I personally like to think it started out with ford disliking fidds with. A. Passion.

He’s stuck in the worst University, in the worst dormitory, with the worst roommate.

Fiddleford played banjo almost every night which distracted him from his study. He was loud and rowdy, trying to make conversation when ford was clearly busy and not interested. He was just a southern hick who didn’t take lessons seriously and in Ford’s opinion was wasting his time here.

Until... (please forgive me idk how American schooling works let alone college lmao) end of term exams (I feel like their called finals?? I haven’t a clue tbh) ford starts to push himself harder and harder in class because he can’t fail he can’t he has to prove he’s not just some freak no one wants but he can’t do it he can’t focus it’s all too much he’s going to fail. Everything’s all wrong. He’s missing Stan something.

Fidds sees him struggling to study. Ford’s restless in his chair, grumbling to himself, wiping his tears eyes and he’s standing up and pacing. So fidds, the kind soul that he is, asks what’s wrong to only be met with ford leaning in close and yelling at him about how it’s all his fault he’s failing with his ‘hick southern quirks’ keeping him from concentrating. I hc fidds to be very sensitive about his accent and upbringing when he was younger so this is a heavy blow. Ford sees his face shift from confusion to anger to anxiety and he feels terrible. Uh yeah next he breaks down into fidds’ chest soaking his shirt and just repeating how sorry he is.

Fiddleford comforts him and immediately forgives him bc he is clearly remorseful and tbh fidds just be like that. After ford calms down he starts freaking out again because he’s got exams coming up and he’s not going to do very well. So fiddy boy offers to help but ford is doubtful... and fidds can see it on his face. So he goes and grabs a little knickknack he had been working on (idk what it is but it’s very impressive to ford)

Fidds help him pass all his classes with flying colours. This is when ford realises that he’s gay. However my guy has some internalised homophobia.

Anyway now that they are on better terms they start to hang out and goof around as college buddy’s. If ford gets stressed fidds notices and rests a hand on his shoulder. Ford is very not straight. Also it’s canon that they stay up late and talk about the future which is sweet so that happens.

Okay so college kinda goes like that nothing explicit but lots of pining (hehe) from both sides - fidds is also a flustered mess but ford is blind to it bc there’s no way he would like me back but I’m not gay so it does matter ahaha (ford has lots of emotions)

So fidds’ marriage uhhhh I don’t really have anything positive to say here except for tate so idk

Emma-may. I don’t think she’s all too great considering she left fidds when he needed her most. Also I do think fidds was attracted too her at some point but I don’t think he was ever in love with her. He just got married and had Tate because that’s what you did back then, got married settled down and had kids.

(Oh to set it in the timeline this would be after college when ford was researching gravity falls alone - so the invitation to be the best man at the wedding was heart breaking for him bc he had no clue who this Emma-may was and he felt more alone than he ever had since Stan was kicked out.)

Next portal era!!

Ford doesn’t want to drag fidds away from his family but he needs his help. Ruh roh his feelings resurface and just a heck of a lot of pining.

Fidds and may are going through a rough patch (uhhhh she’s cheating oof) so he is super excited to see ford, to sort of get away for a bit - I like to think they filed for a divorce right before Ford’s call.

Again ford and fidds’ relationship doesn’t become offical but they are both yearning SO MUCH. Oh what Fidds is designing the bunker? oh what he can only fit one bed down there?? Welp Ford’s fine with that bc he’s not gay,, it’s not gay to blush when you homie puts his head on your hair. (Lots of ford waking up to being hugged and he’s fine with that bc ...they’re just friends)

Also fidds is like sad bc his marriage failed so ford is awkwardly trying to cheer him up while also seeing an opening but he represses that’s bc it’s insensitive and he’s totally straight .

Canon blah blah blah

(also may stinks bc even tho you are getting divorced you don't give up on someone who’s going through a huge storm,, especially if he’s the father of your son but idk that’s just my thoughts)

Now 30yrs later. Ford and fidds get together and finally get married :D I have too many ideas about how this could happen so idk but is very fluffy and soft

Okay ahahaha those are my thoughts and I have more small details about them during the portal era I didn’t put in because this is already VERY l o n g.

#idk their relationship is very fluffy and their are lots of sweet moments in my mind #ALSO fidds comforting and helping ford that first time is sort of paralleled to when he tries to do the same about the portal #only this time ford is angy bc yknow the portal is his life’s work so he can’t just give up (fidds’ reasoning is the end of the world #and that it’s stressing ford out WAY too much)#tbh I’m writing this while I’m overtired so I might go back and edit stuff later bc this is probably incoherent #also thanks for the ask about this bc this was fun ahaha :D #fiddauthor #stanford pines #fiddleford mcgucket #internalised homophobia #cheating #uhhhh ask to tag I guess???#gravity falls #asks

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novantinuum · 4 years

Link

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences

Words: 2.2K~

Summary: A series of shorts detailing what might’ve happened in the moments after I Am My Monster, told from six different points of view.

Greg apparently had a LOT on his mind, because this was supposed to be short and instead it’s over 2000 words, ahah. Final chapter!

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3. Thank you! <3

Chapter warning: Allusions to past non-canon character suicide.

____

Chapter 6: Greg

Hours pass.

Bismuth makes quick and quiet work of replacing the cracked slider door in Steven’s room while he sleeps, and secures a thick tarp over the open front of the house to keep the coastal breeze somewhat at bay until she can finish her repairs to the windows and siding. She warns that might take a day or two. Garnet, meanwhile, busies herself the rest of the afternoon and evening fielding all of the Diamonds’ frazzled calls, and reassuring them of the boy’s current stability. Pooling their knowledge, Dr. Maheswaran and Peridot make sure to confirm that. Beyond some minor scarring, neither his organic or Gem half seems to exhibit any serious physical health conditions in consequence of what happened today, news which works to ever so slightly lift the air of the household. With no other concrete tasks to complete, Pearl, Amethyst, Lapis, Connie, and Greg all rotate between sweeping debris off the floor, wandering the beach to mentally recuperate, and dutifully sitting at Steven’s side as he rests. It may not sound like a lot, but alas the level of emotional labor demanded by such a situation is immense.

All in all, the sun’s long since dipped below the horizon by the time Greg finally collapses onto the mattress laid out in the back of his van, craving if but a moment of privacy and respite from all the chaos. It’s been... an insufferably long day, to put it lightly. Busy. Tons of cleaning, and intercepting nosy neighbors, and bedside monitoring...

He offered to take the first night shift watching Steven a few minutes ago, but Pearl must’ve noticed the dark circles creeping ever wider under his eyes, because she proceeded to gently overturn his offer and remind him of humanity’s daily sleep requirement. And she’s right, of course. He can’t stay up as long as he used to in his twenties anymore. Plus, he probably deserves some time to himself after everything that’s transpired. There’s plenty of Gems left in the house who can keep watch, after all. Steven will be fine for a few hours. Surely nothing else can happen when he’s asleep, right?

Right??

Exhaustedly slumping against the side wall, Greg offers a glassy, vacant stare at the contacts list of his phone, roughly wiping the damp from his cheeks with his other hand as his thumb hovers over one of the numbers. Does he dare drag someone else into this whole situation? Surely the kinder solution would be to refrain from widening the circle any more, from letting anyone else learn about today’s harrowing events. And yet if he fails to find a proper outlet for the raw emotions all of this has violently hauled to the surface, he fears he just may suffer a mental break himself, repressed memories bursting like a vicious flood through the dam he desperately tried to seal them behind all those years back. Much of this is just... far too familiar.

His phone slips right through his trembling hands as the cruel reality of what he witnessed today finally begins to carve its indelible presence in his mind. A strained sob leaking from between his tightly pursed lips, he buries his head between his knees, clutching at the worn bottom hem of his jean shorts like an infant to a parent’s finger. Small. Vulnerable.

Helpless.

His son... oh stars, his only son, he—

He can’t talk about any of this to the Gems; they wouldn’t wholly grasp the uniquely human nature of his concerns. And he doesn’t feel comfortable discussing these matters with Dr. Maheswaran, especially not after the stern words she dealt to him back at the hospital. He’s burdened her enough already, by this point. No, there’s only one fellow human he feels close enough with to engage in this sort of conversation.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he reaches for the phone he dropped on the mattress. Turns it on. Nervously clamps down on his bottom lip as he selects his cousin’s contact and dials.

The passing heartbeats slamming against his ribs are almost nauseating in their needy clamor as he waits, his calloused fingers tapping against the thick rubber of his phone case. Andy’s never been a particularly tech savvy guy, so honestly, it’s well within reason he might not even carry his phone on his person to answer. And that’d be fine, really. In fact, he might even prefer it, since he’s still not confident he’s emotionally prepared to discuss any of this at this precise moment, anyways. But just as he’s beginning to undergo mental preparations for what on Earth he might leave as a voicemail message, his older family member finally picks up.

“Greg?” Andy’s gravelly voice rings through, sounding somewhat tinny through their connection. “Hey, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? How’s the ol’ Universe family unit doin’?”

“Not great, honestly,” he narrowly manages in response, his throat constricting tight. “That’s kinda why I’m calling, if you have the time to listen?”

“Heh. I’m a drifter, you know I ain’t got no schedule. Carry on.”

“Well... geeze, how do I put this. There was, uh... a bit of an incident today. With Steven.”

“An incident?” his cousin questions, marked worry immediately painting his tone. “The kid okay??”

He falls silent for a few seconds upon this question, threading his hyperactive digits through the split ends in his hair on automatic, a stress-induced habit. “Unclear,” he says, a slight quiver making itself intimately known in his words. “I mean, physically, at the moment, yes, but—“

He cuts off once more. It suddenly occurs to him that little of today’s events would make sense to Andy without providing the appropriate context. Or, at least, what little context he’s capable of giving as a father. It’s still terrifying to admit the truth to himself— that he doesn’t possess the full story. That he hasn’t been paying close enough attention. That, in many ways, he willfully blinded himself to all the troubling events transpiring around his son throughout the years, foolishly believing that if he didn’t involve himself... that if he simply stayed out of the Gems’ hair... everything would go to plan, and Steven would finally receive the training he needed. He didn’t expect things would grow so complicated.

He didn’t expect that his teenage son would have to march into battle carrying nothing but his wits and a shield time and time again.

With a weary sigh and a quick apology, to which Andy brushes off, Greg begins to weave a verbal picture of everything that’s transpired across the last few days. First, the hospital call. Rushing home from tour, only to find his son giant and flushed pink, literally filling an entire room with the sheer volume of his trauma. The shattered x-ray in his chart, hinting towards hidden hurts that— before all this— even Steven seemingly hadn’t processed or quantified. Then, the road trip. The unwanted reminders of his childhood. That blasted CD. His expression sobers as he describes the fateful argument they had on the road home, one which lead to his son accidentally breaking the steering wheel and flipping the van. Next... his disappearance. No texts for four whole days, which is so unlike him. He was worried sick. And the next time he saw him, he was eight feet tall, glowing, and painfully manic in behavior, with each new sentence spilling from his mouth revealing an even more heartbreaking picture of the sort of poor mental state he’d spiraled into. It was nothing short of a father’s worst nightmare, propelled into horrifying, vivid reality.

Nothing in this corner of the galaxy could’ve prepared him for the primal surge of terror and anguish he was engulfed within when that nightmare distorted and transformed even further.

His only son... colossal and coated in thick scales and spines, sclera black as night... roughly clawing at this unfamiliar form, smashing his skull against the cliffside, roaring with an inner pain so primal that the sound now haunts the depths of his very soul—

“I- you remember what happened with cousin Jo, back when we were young?” Greg says softly once he’s caught Andy up with the details of situation, his voice frail and unsteady, the tone of a man helplessly marooned amidst his anxieties. “Before she was sent to that mental rehab place? Well, I’m... with the addition of Gem magic, it almost felt like that. I mean, h-he’s fine for now, we have him resting, but... but I’m just so scared he won’t come out of this, like her, a-a-and that one day he’ll—“

A mewling sob bubbles up in his throat, swiftly severing that train of thought. N-no. No, he refuses to even utter that horrible idea out loud! After all, a world without Steven in it isn’t worth envisioning.

Andy’s eventual response— albeit tinged with a justified shade of awkwardness, given the emotionally charged nature of this conversation— is filled with genuine compassion, and for that he’s dearly thankful.

“Aw, hell... Greg, I’m- I’m so sorry. I, uh- I could fly over, if any of ya’ need me? For emotional support, or whatever?”

Upon this kind offer, he inhales deep to steady his breath, and wipes away dewy beads of moisture from the corner of his eyes, desperately hoping that he can mitigate the pitiful wavering of his voice over the phone. He’s gotta fight to reliably keep some form of composure in front of other people, damnit. His kid can’t have his dad breaking down around him too, of course.

“No, you’ve got places to be,” he replies evenly, pressing his thumb and pointer against one of his aching temples. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You ain’t asking,” he retorts, the eye-roll evident in his tone. “I’m offering. Listen- family takes care of family, y’hear? And I’m only about a day’s flight away, anyways. It’s really the least I could do.”

He sighs. Absentmindedly tugs at a thick strand of his hair. Offers a long, contemplative stare at the rickety age-worn handle affixed to the inside of the van’s back doors. Truth be told— ignoring his deep-seated guilt at dragging Andy into all this to begin with— he’d love having another family member around to embrace, especially a human one who can more deeply understand the crux of his anxieties about this delicate situation. But in the end, he shouldn’t be prioritizing his own feelings and comfort. He’s not the one in crisis, his son is.

Desperately hoping he’s making the right choice, Greg flexes his fingers, and acquiesces to the offer, on one condition: only if Steven consents to having visitors, once he’s awake.

Andy hums in approval. “Understood. Don’t wanna overload the poor guy with any surprise visits, or whatever.”

“Yeah. The last thing I want to do is push him too hard, too fast.”

He pauses, braving waves of parental grief to spend a moment to reflect on Steven’s emotional progression over the past few months... a stray negative comment here, an unusually forlorn mannerism there... All of them events that, in isolation, wouldn’t point to anything more than your standard ‘teenage angst,’ but when observed in strong, unceasing patterns, begin to reveal deeply harrowing truths about the state of an individual’s self-image. How did he never notice? Why wasn’t he there to catch him in his fall?

“I think he hates himself,” he says quietly, his voice hitching up at the end. “He didn’t say so directly, but- but I can sense it. And I don’t know how to help him, I-I... I don’t know if I can.”

“Nonsense,” his cousin scoffs, “‘course ya’ know what to do! What does any good father worth their salt give their sons?”

Unable to evade the momentary temptation of feeling miserable and sorry for himself, he slumps back against the wall, giving a weak shrug that his current audience would never see.

“I dunno, maybe a stable, safe childhood? Not growing up poor as dirt in a van?”

“No, you numbskull,” Andy immediately cuts back, “you love on ‘em and support ‘em just as much as you always have! Y’ show him that you’re always gonna be there for him, and that he can trust you with anything.”

“But I haven’t always been there for him,” he exclaims petulantly. “That’s the whole problem! That’s one of the reasons he ended up like this.”

“Greg,” he says, his voice softer this time. “Listen to me, ain’t nobody perfect, okay? We’ve all made our mistakes with people. Me? More than most. But what we can’t do is let those mistakes cloud what’s happening right now. Y’know, that’s one of the hard lessons I’ve had to learn over the past two years, that you can’t always make things about you. Because right now, it’s about him. He’s dealin’ with some hard feelings, and he needs all of our help. So, let’s help him. Together. We’ll start with one foot in front of us, and we can take it from there. All right?”

Closing his weary, exhausted eyes and pressing his thumb firm against his still-aching temple, Greg Universe gives a long sigh and finally concedes to the reality that— just as he’s not solely responsible for the decline of his son’s mental state— no man should be an island when it comes to the task of supporting one’s journey towards recovery. As with everything, the extended Universe family unit will face the future together, hand-in-hand. Step-by-step.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, I think that’s do-able.”

#su #su future #greg universe #andy demayo #su fanfiction #my writing stuff

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vcyongtae · 3 years

Text

why hello there folks it’s ya girl gemma && im so excited to be here !! with me today is grumpy gramps, mr moon yongtae, who’s been chillin in agdoeg since like basically the stone age :~) there’s some sparknotes of him under the cut if ud like to read, and pls pls pls go ahead and like this post and ull find a wild gemma creepin into ur dms ;~) also my discord is gemma#8039 so pls dont hesitate to ✨ call me beep me if u wanna reach me ✨

again, it’s a pleasure to be here and im so excited to write w each and every one of u !!

inspired by norman bates ( bates motel ) && dr jekyll & mr hyde

mom && dad are both dragons so he’s pure dragon blood, born in agdoeg in 1871

he is Omega rich bc he was alrd sitting on old money in 1871, so u can imagine how old this money is in 2021 lol$$$

his dad died when he was like .2 years old from gang activities ( his dad was heavily involved in the jeup clan ) so he basically has never met the man

mom is a socialite and she only ever wanted a family unit bc it would look good for her ✨ image ✨ so she kinda lost it w having been widowed and left w a dumbass kid who she has -2 idea what to do with

as a cute lil cherry on top, yongtae has some Extreme anger issues as a kid and a lot of it has to do w this weird aspect of his dragon power where he can morph like isolated parts of his body into a half-dragon half-human form ( it’s actually p neat cause he can tap into his dragon powers as a “human” )

this form is v heavily influenced by his anger ( like if he lost control of his anger the shifting quite literally goes haywire and its diff parts of his body constantly shifting and going back to normal, like the kid is straight up short-circuiting ) && when mom saw that she basically said Yuck go outside until u get urself tgt

whenever yongtae misbehaves, she just screams at and insults him rather than idk talking to her son and finding out whats wrong but what do i know right :~) when he does behave tho, she’s super nice and loving so i guess u could say it was just a lil confusing for a kid

eventually develops the oedipus complex w his mom bc his mom constantly compares him to his Perfect Dad ( eg why are u such a shitty replacement, where is the food i ordered ?? ) so he feels like hes competing w a dead man for his mom’s love n affection, and when he does get it its a sickening positive feedback loop

mom is obsessed w maintaining her image and for that to happen, yongtae rlly needs to Not and learn to behave, so hes spent a lot of years w repressed emotions and he’s basically filled w a lot of self-loathing espc when he fails to rein in his anger && as an extension he also grows v v v disgusted at his half-human half-dragon shifting courtesy of his mom :~)))))

fast forward to early 1900s and yongtae has basically fully replaced his dad ( even picks up his dad’s gang activities ) and his mom is legit patting herself on the back, but he is still yongtae and his anger is still a part of him, so he does eventually snap a lil in public and mom goes back to screaming at him, comparing him to his dad ( who by this time, he truly hates && is just a quick trigger for his anger rlly )

yeah i hate to tell it to ya chief but he kills his mom in anger 😬 he also conveniently represses that traumatic event so if u ask him now he has no idea what happened to his mom, but the cops say its suicide ( bear in mind it’s the 1900s so sexism is at an All Time High && they have 0 forensics tech )

ALSO interestingly the cops are like yeah it makes sense that she killed herself cause she was kinda known to be volatile which is just so surprisingly to yongtae bc ?? mom has always valued composure so he just alw saw her as someone whos so composed but that’s the thing abt abuse !! you get stuck in this echo chamber and ur reality is so, so different from the true reality

… yeah so moving on yongtae has kinda just been floating around since the 1900s doing everything in his power to honour his mom’s wishes, which includes Fully repressing his anger etc ( but he does for sure take it out on like people he has to kill/confront/threaten as a capo so hes gotten A Lot more involved in gang activities since then )

but yes his day job is being a major shareholder ( like 5-15% per company ) in a lot of large tech and oil companies, he sits on the board of directors for a few of them to basically just give his vote y/n for wtv changes they wish to implement but thats it, most of his time is taken up by his hobbies n buttering up to high society n his capo duties

…aaand here’s some potential plots!!

night bloods members: yongtae is a huge family man and ever since losing his mother, he’s latched on to the gang as though it’s his new family !! even tho he’s a capo, he doesn’t think of his soldiers as expendable and he truly feels every loss. he has a deep respect and loyalty towards the gang, and he’s hella devoted !! so yeah any night bloods members pls hmu yongtae is HERE FOR U

members of high society: yongtae is heavily engrained in high society, just as his mother had always wanted him to be. he’s v v introverted and known to be a bit of a recluse, but i think it’d be cool for him to actually enjoy the company of some of the people he meets from there !!

members of other gangs: bc of his loyalty for night bloods, he is obv v against other gangs and he thinks of them as the Devil. i’d love to see some animosity between him and members of ivory lotus / howlers ( the ones that’s somehow revealed to him / he found out belongs to opposing gangs ) !!

relatives: honestly anyone w dragon blood im sure yongtae’s parents had siblings maybe they could be ur muses’ grandparents or smth HAHA

flings: yongtae is a bit of a recluse and he also isn’t the type to sleep around but honestly he’s like 150 y/o dude im sure he’s had a one night stand or 2 ( also sadly hes straight so females only for this !! )

his dad’s murderer: this person would have to be 170 y/o+ and not from night bloods but yeah his dad died from gang related activities so maybe ur muse could’ve killed him somehow ?? this person would hella be his archnemesis && it’s a weird feeling of both hatred bc his life could’ve been so good if his dad were alive, but also a lil jealousy bc he hates his dad so it’s hella conflicting

this is all i can think of for now but i am more than down to brainstorm !! again, if u wanna plot pls hit that LIKE button && i will turn up into ur dms !! am beggin at this point huhu :~)

#𝕀. OOC. › … 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔳𝔬𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔢 .#𝕀𝕀. PLOT CALL. › … 𝔦 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔞𝔡𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔦 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 .

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 4 years

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So... I was kinda disappointed with Buck Begins... NOT ENTIRELY. Just...

Major spoilers ahead. You should definitely watch the episode before reading my complaints... because I have a lot of them, and you shouldn't have the negative thoughts going into it...

But I'm gonna start with the good stuff.

The Buckley Siblings are everything to me. I love their relationship, and watching Buck grow up with Maddie protecting him? *chef's kiss* Perfection.

Buck being a daredevil because it was the only time that he got positive attention from his parents as a child? Absolutely heartbreaking and I hate his parents for *so much* for that.

Maddie doing whatever she could to help her baby brother, even when she was terrified and probably knew how bad it was going to get? I love her with my whole heart.

And I absolutely love the way they highlighted their relationship and how important Maddie is to Buck.

The moment when the team comes in to help Buck and save him and the other person? Cinematic excellence, I applaud them for that scene. His team loves him and will always have his back, and he *knows* that now.

And now for my grievances and where I think they missed the target...

It focused on Maddie too much for a "Buck Begins" episode. I get that she's a huge part of his life and that she would be in the childhood flashbacks, but even once Buck was out on his own, all we got to see were the postcards (with handwriting that did not look At All like Buck's handwriting, might I add) and the one scene of Buck bartending in Peru where he decided to move to LA and become a firefighter.

We already basically got a Maddie Begins episode, when Doug came back and kidnapped her. I didn't need another one. (I love Maddie and I loved the flashbacks, but... it just should have focused more on Buck. It was his episode, after all.)

We should have gotten to actually *see* what Buck did with his life before he made it to LA. They could have shown Maddie receiving a postcard, then done a montage with a shot of Buck writing one of the postcards. That montage focused more on Maddie than it did on Buck, which kind of frustrated me.

And then in present day? They made such a big deal about the family secret, and it just fizzled out. Like it didn't matter anymore. And I honestly don't see them doing much more with it, unless (God forbid) in a later season the Madney baby gets leukemia or something and Buck is a perfect match to save his niece. (Actually I could see them doing that and I would definitely cry. That would maybe give them a pass with this plot thread.)

Then with the factory fire? Idk, it didn't feel intense enough for me. NOT that I wanted Buck to horribly suffer more, but... Eddie being buried alive in his episode was So Much More Intense. Chimney's episode happened while he was literally bleeding nearly to death. I was hoping for more.

And maybe it has something to do with the lack of reaction from the entire team when the building exploded. Not only did we not see Eddie panic, even briefly, about Buck being trapped, we didn't see Bobby or Chimney of Hen panic either! Bobby sees Buck as a son, this is basically canon now. And Chimney and Hen see him as their little brother.

The exploding ladder truck and the tsunami both felt way more intense for Buck than the factory fire in this episode.

And then to top it off, NOBODY GAVE BUCK A HUG AFTER THR FACTORY FIRE! And Eddie and Chimney weren't even there by the ambulance! Like, what the fuck? Yes, Bobby, Athena, and Hen told him what he needed to hear, but they all should have been there! Supporting him! Where were they???

Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to casually make Buck canonically bisexual. Instead of meeting a girl who taught him how to surf, he could have met a guy. Then things didn't work out, just like they didn't with the girl.

UGH, these writers! They're either *really* amazing or *really* miss the important stuff... there was so much potential, and they just wasted it!

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I did enjoy the episode, but it was definitely not the best Begins episode in my opinion.

What are your thoughts? I clearly have too many.

-Quarantine Anon

So I just finished watching. Spoilers beneath the cut

So here’s what I knew going into this- everyone was going wild with theories and ideas and great fics of what was going to play out. Which is great. But I do think it got hyped up because of that.

The flashbacks to the Buckley childhood hurt so much. Margaret seemed to take it out on Evan so much because in her eyes- he failed her by not saving Daniel. BEGONE, Margaret! You can’t put that on your child if your own plan was to use the child to save a sibling and then deem him not deserving of love because of nature and genetics. But Maddie and Buck? I love a pair of siblings while being in agony over the hells they’ve walked through.

The use of ‘So Far’ and the team helping him? Poetic cinema. I felt so many emotions and had a bit of a cry.

I actually liked the postcards. I think if they had gone to film all of what he did, it would have gotten jammed packed. The bartender was stated in canon, so that felt worthy of a flashback (and oh wow, that was not the revelation I needed that I try to know cool things to impress cute people. Buck is not straight, I don’t care what anyone says). Plus, with Covid-19, I bet there would be some filming issues. Also, it felt the ups and downs in Buck’s postcards paralleled Maddie’s injuries from Doug. They were both lost thinking they were living, except they weren’t. It was all about survival. And the worst part is that sometimes, you will lull yourself into a sense that survival=living when that’s not the case. That’s what happened to the Buckleys I think.

We don’t know what’s to come, but the family secret might come up again in therapy. Which they better freaking continue and not drop like the Flash did.

On the factory fire- I think we hyped it up more than we expected. Eddie Begins and Chimney Begins were really serious episodes with their lives on the line. And I think about Buck talking about giving up after he gets out. He wasn’t going into this fire with a clear head. I think he saw himself as the replacement baby still who couldn’t ever live up, who couldn’t do things right. He wouldn’t leave despite ordered because that was showing Saleh he didn’t matter. To Buck, he did. He gets being left behind and in those situations, you’d rather someone else be happier and fine while you take the impact. Like the world would keep turning and everyone would be fine (eventually) after you left it.

The ladder truck and tsunami were physical pain. The factory fire was emotional pain. (which reminds me, I need to make a post about the element symbolism in Begins episodes)

If we didn’t see a hug in the episode, then we write the fic for it. Missing scenes can be created ;) Not to mention they’ve all still got work to get done on the scene. After events like that, I think everyone needed time to process it.

I get bisexual vibes off Buck big time in this episode. And I think there is repression and closeting that comes into play here. Your parents are constantly disappointed in you, so why disappoint them further? Bury it down deep and deeper who you really are. It was the attention-seeking that would work out for him. Also, bisexuality is more than one. You identify as bi and your partner uses she/her? Bi. Partner uses he/his? BI. Partner uses them/they? Still bi. (Also, how much do we know about the postcards he wrote. Maybe he didn’t give her the full story. There’s only so much room in a postcard and she was the one person in the world who still believed in him. Was he afraid to disappoint her?)

Overall, I did enjoy the episode. Eddie Begins always holds a special place in my heart as the first ever episode of 911 I saw enough of to get me interested in the show. The thing is that I can’t pit the Begins episodes against each other. They all show a journey in some way.

Hopefully this was coherant enough and I’m sorry for my little bisexual rant.

#anon #ask box #quarantine anon #911 #911 spoilers #evan buckley #maddie buckley #buckley siblings

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verobatto · 4 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXVII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Bloody Blue

(12x04/12x05)

Hello! Here I am again, after all the spoilers, I'm still alive hehehehehe.

I will try to talk about two episodes today, in Wich we had people dressed in blue dying. As a foreshadow of Castiel's dead at the end of the season.

All the Cas' mirrors

So, more than Dean suffering because Mary is gone, and because he sees a mother and her son being normal, and acting like a real kid, not paying attention to the case and making Sam get on his nerves, I want to talk about Castiel's mirror...

First of all, the woman that enters at the Church with stigmata, is dressed in pink. She dies in front of everyone. As a sacrifice, right? Remember pink is happiness, so is talking about happiness dying for a sacrifice, at the end of the season, is talking about Castiel's death.

The family in this story, with the strict mother, is representing Heaven restrictions, the religion and the repressed forbidden thoughts. So the mother, shows us the Sacred Oath on a very tricky way.

Is also the example of Mary's speech but turned into a wrong interpretation. She didn't want a life full of distractions for her son's, just like Mary, but she was insane, and drove their family into dead.

Magda punishes herself in the dark, is a foreshadow of Castiel in the Empty, suffering a punishment his own head will give him through the voice of the Void.

But she's also a Sammy's mirror, of his younger days, when he had his powers.

Obviously, we will have our Cas mirror (Magda) killed by Ketch by the end of the episode. Of course.

There's croixes all over the episode, the Croix is a symbol of sacrifice and love in Christianity, and we already know which Sacrifice we are talking about, right?

And we had this little hint of Destiel I will share with all of you, remember that Wicca woman Dean thought was the murderer? She ends up giving Dean her phone number... And this was the dialogue between Dean and Sam...

DEAN: She gave me her number, her personal number.

SAM: You were gonna shoot her.

DEAN: Yeah, I know. Kinda weird. Kinda hot. Pfft.

Okay, if this isn't Destiel, idk what it is. Dean stabbed Castiel's, his first intentions were to kill him, so... Destiel is kind of weird and hot hehehehe. Just to make you smile!

Blue Sacrifice

Episode 12x05 'The One You've been Waiting for' brings us again able sacrifice: Ellie.

She enters in her department kissing a boy, she's dressed in blue and the boy in red, but she's not sure about the whole situation, she looks inexperienced and nervous, as if she were doing something forbidden...

ELLIE: Hey. (Giggles) Ooh! (Giggles) Mm. This is – this is fun. I-I don't really ever do this. And everyone's like, “Watch out for the hookup culture, Ellie.” Mmm! I think they just worry 'cause, you know, I-I just got out of a relationship. Um, but no, no, I gave – I gave back the ring, so that's just – that's all – that's a good thing, right? (Nick pauses to look at her in between her statements)

See how this is so Cas here, "Watch out for the hookup culture" is the Sacred Oath again, when Lucifer will say DAD IS WATCHING in episode 12x23, not just talking about what we will know Chuck is doing, but because the Sacred Oath and the shame of be involved with a human means to an angel.

Also, when she mentions she broke up with someone, is the break between Heaven and Castiel.

ELLIE: Yeah, but, like...I could – I could be cooler, let's be honest. 'Cause, you know, like, your beard, it's super cool. Uh, do you want a drink?

Gif credit @demondetoxmanual 👇

Here is a very important point in Cas' POV, he feels he should be more because Dean is a strong and smart hunter, and he feels he needs to be like him to deserve him. Remember episode 12x03 when he tried to imitate the boys, brushing his hear in the mirror before entering a house to interrogate that woman with Crowley? Yep...

And who will be the sacrifice for the Nazis? To make Hitler come back? Yep, Ellie, Castiel's mirror.

But she's also the representation of Kelly (Kind of what I call a switch mirror) because the bad guy will tell her that they just need her blood, just like Lucifer will use Kelly to give birth his son: Jack.

Finally, I want to talk about Dean and his ship, because... We already talked about this in the fandom, I just want to point the writers know, and we know, that ship is our ship, Destiel, and we will see it twice in this season, a crash or drop of our ship, our ship will be in danger when Cas die, hehehe. Look at Dean trying to save it!

Gif set credit @themegalosaurus 👇

Gif credit @blueyered2👇

To Conclude:

This is a begining of a many blue dressed people dying (Castiel's mirror) as a foreshadow of what will happen to our angel at the end of the episode.

We have Dean dealing with his mourning of the child's idea of what Mary represents in his head and the actual picture of a human, mature, full of fails mom he has just met.

I hope you liked this! See you in the next meta!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @nickelkit @anon-non2

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From this season, here you have the links: Vol. LXXV, LXXVI.

Buenos Aires, September 1st 2020, 8:54 AM

#destiel chronicles #destiel #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #vol LXXVII

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stellar-alley · 4 years

Text

•The One Where They're Soulmates•

A Reddie Oneshot

Summary: In a world where the first words that your soulmate says to you are written somewhere on your body. And Richie and Eddie are cursed with some of the weirdest first words ever.

Eddie Kaspbrak was your average teen living in a not so average world. It was similar to the Earth we know and live on, except for one crucial thing. Every human gets a phrase magically tattooed onto a random part of their body on their 16th birthday. But these are not just random words, they're the first words that your soulmate says to you. It doesn't say who says them or when they're said... All it says is their first words to you.

Eddie was cursed with the shittiest first words, ever.

The memory is clear in his mind. The boy stayed up all night, waiting until exactly 5:16 am, his exact time of birth. He waited to see the words appear. When the time came, he didn't feel anything, no searing pain as they burned into his skin or any wiser about love.

Anxiously, he ran to the bathroom to scan his entire body for the first words. Frantically examing his arms and torso before reaching his legs, his thighs. The words appeared on the inside of his left thigh, perfectly in the middle. And there they were, in neat and precise calligraphy.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

"You've gotta be shitting me".

For the next year, he wore pants, even on the hottest days of summer. He only dared to wear shorts going no shorter than his knees, in fear of them sliding up and revealing his embarrassing words.

Who the hell even says that?

Eddie then did some intense research to find out that it's a line from the 1989 movie, Heathers. And Eddie refused to watch it, thinking that it was stupid.

Why are the first words that my soulmate says to me a fucking movie reference?

And Eddie kept wondering these thoughts, for a whole year. His mother always seemed irritated whenever he mentioned his soulmate. He knew why... The words pissed her off. She interrogated him as soon as he told her what they were (Which he tried to hide from her, but failed). Asking questions like: "What does this mean?", "Why are they saying this to you?", "Do you have a fetish for chainsaws?", "EDDIE BEAR? ARE YOU HAVING PREMARITAL UNSAFE SEX?". He tried to answer each question as truthfully as he possibly could. She grew angry, which caused Eddie to fill with worry and fear. It wasn't his fault his soulmate was pouty mouth who was a fan of shitty 80's movies. He didn't have a choice...

But he grew to accept these words on his skin. He often found himself awake during the late hours of the night, simply tracing the words, letter for letter with his index finger. It soothed him. Just the thought of how he has a soulmate always calmed his nerves. That there was someone out there who would love him unconditionally. The idea warmed his heart and filled his stomach with butterflies.

Before Eddie turned 17 he realized that he wasn't as straight as he thought he was. It had been something he'd been thinking about ever since he kissed Suzie Henderson during his freshman homecoming dance, and hated it. She was a nice girl and all, cute even. But there was nothing there, no spark, no butterflies, and certainly no mention of any chainsaws. So he knew it wasn't her, but if it wasn't her then who was it? Any time his friends talked about the latest issue of Playboy or some female superhero with extra cleavage, the brunette always found himself uncomfortable and never giving his true opinion. He'd simply make a joke and laugh it off, hoping no one noticed how he barely glanced at the female's body, instead, focusing on her facial features and the way her hair flowed.

Then, on the day of his seventeenth birthday, he mentioned some fake friend that was gay to his mother. He wanted to see how she would react, so he could come out. He was surprised, to say the least. She acted as if the friend had killed someone, saying random things about how it's a sin and that they weren't created to like the same sex. Those words broke Eddie's heart. As he knew now he could never truly come out to her since he wouldn't be accepted.

After an hour of silent sobs, he knew that he needed to get out of this hell house as soon as possible. So he slowly got off his bed, shuffling into the bathroom and closing the door behind him so Sonia wouldn't be able to see her son wipe away the tears on his bright red cheeks.

I knew she'd react like this... She's always hated the gays. I don't know why I thought I'd be the exception, maybe since I'm her son and she claims to love me more than anything else. If my own mother can't accept me... then who would?

That thought lingered in Eddie's mind as he threw a sweater on and slipped his sneakers onto his feet. Sonia had already passed out on the couch since it was 10 pm. Realizing the time, Eddie wondered where he'd go at that time of night. His stomach ached from the lack of food. After his mother's response to the gay question, he had lost his appetite and barely touched his food at dinner.

Eddie quietly slipped out the door and into the cool night air. It filled his lungs and cleared his mind, slightly. But the thought of his newfound sexuality still clouded his vision. He walked down the street, going deeper into the city.

With no earbuds to listen to music, Eddie simply let the sounds of his surroundings be his melody. The rustling of the trees, the wind that blew by every now and then, the distant sound of car honks, and the sound of water trickling down into the sewers. He didn't let his mind focus too much on where the water was travelling, as the idea of the sewers disgusted him. All of that piss and shit, the greywater... He literally shuddered at the thought.

He barely even noticed that he'd already walked by his favourite pizza place. It was called John's. Named after the man who created it, John. It's a family-run business and it runs until the late hours of the night. Which was perfect for someone like Eddy who was dying to eat his feelings away.

Richie Tozier dreaded the day he turned 16. He couldn't stand the thought of knowing that the words that would be on his body were so much more than just letters, it's like they'd defy him. He hated not knowing anything about his soulmate or any context about their first confrontation. But he can't control the universe.

The minute the clock struck 4:16 am on March 7th, the exact time he was birthed 16 years ago the words had etched themselves onto Richie's body. He didn't want to see the words, so he didn't look... Well, he didn't intentionally look. He couldn't just not look at his body. He was kinda disappointed to see it wasn't on his wang... but he had no control over where it ended up. After two weeks of showering and catching himself staring in the mirror, he wondered if he even had his first words.

What if I don't even have a soulmate?

Mostly everyone's first words were in plain sight, on their arms, shines, knees sometimes faces, and the most common, the wrists. But he couldn't see his, and he didn't want to start looking for it in fear of being let down. But during one sleepless night, he dragged himself out of bed in a curious daze and stood in front of his mirror, and began searching his entire body.

Finally, he'd given up, "That's it, I'm unlovable" he declared to his reflection. He ran his hands through his knotted curls, gripping the ends. He kept his hands there and tilted his head to the side, unable to keep looking at his reflection. A moment had passed before he slowly let his eyes look back at himself through the mirror, but still tilting his head to the side. That's when he noticed a little mark behind his ear.

Suddenly Richie jumped into action, pushing all of his hair to the side, pulling at his ear to get a better view. But the temple of his glasses was in the way (The temple is the part of the glasses that rests on the ear). So Richie tossed his glasses off, plopping them onto the counter, but he realized he couldn't see shit so he put them back on.

He let out a sigh of frustration while he examined the items on the counter beside him. One of his mother's hairbands caught his eye. "Genius!" Richie muttered under his breath, snatching up the hairband and going to work on tying his curls into a small, and weak ponytail. It looked like shit but it did the job, it kept his hair up and away from his ears.

With his hair out of the way, Richie went to work. He used one hand to move his ear out of the way and his other hand to move the temple of his glasses up so he'd be able to read the words inscribed on his head.

Fuck, I hate change

That's all there was, short and sweet. Richie didn't know what to do with this information. Once he double-checked, and triple checked, he needed to know for sure that's what it said. He slipped back into his room and retrieved his phone from his bed before going back into the bathroom. It took countless tries to get the picture where his ear was out of the way and his glasses weren't blocking it. But he hadn't read it wrong, that's what his words really were.

"'Fuck, I hate change'. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Change... Like me? They hate me changing?" Nothing made sense.

Richie assumed that the change meant the way he changed, somehow... So Richie kept things the same. He used the same old cheesy jokes and wore the same old Hawaiian shirts. He didn't mind though, he liked the way things were when things were normal.

(The time probably isn't gonna match up with their birthday's and everything but it's fine. Don't come at me)

Richie was now 17 and gay. Which he discovered after his countless jokes about fucking moms and other girls, that really had no further message, it was a joke, that's all it was. He never joked about doing it with his friends or their fathers, because those were the ones he could see himself liking. (That probably sounds weird, too bad!)

Richie thought about repressing his feelings until... well until they disappeared, or death. But during a steamy game of Truth or Dare with the Losers, he was outed when he refused to kiss one of his best friends, Beverly Marsh. He couldn't. He also couldn't do that to his other good friend Ben, who was obviously in love with her.

The good thing was, the Losers accepted him. They didn't treat him differently or poke and joke about it, life continued on as normal, which was what Richie wanted. After the whole Truth or Dare incident, he grew closer to Beverly. The two had a similar sense of humour and spent a good amount of time together already as they were smoking buddies.

The two loved to watch classic movies together. They'd critique the acting and storylines. Then use iconic lines from the movies as inside jokes later on in conversation. One of their favourite movies to watch was Heathers, the movie as well as the musical.

There were countless days where Richie would be sad or depressed, and Beverly would always try to comfort him. But during the times when things were particularly tough, she'd always slowly start singing 'Candy Store' From Heathers the musical. Slowly getting more and more into it, until she actually put the song on.

"Are we gonna have a problem?" She began, Richie immediately picking up on what she was doing.

"Bev not now...".

But she ignored him "You've got a bone to pick?".

And it always worked out that by the time the chorus rang out through her phone, Richie would be right up there with her. Both of them belting out the lyrics, singing the pain away.

It was a little after 10 pm on a Saturday night. Richie's friends, the Losers, were all out at the movies without him, since he had to work. Richie worked at his family's pizza diner, John's. Which was named after his late grandfather, John. Saturday nights were usually pretty busy, but that night was different, slower. It was only Richie and his cousin Sarah working that night. Richie was folding pizza boxes in the backroom while Sarah maned the cash.

"We really need to fix this" Sarah called out to Richie. He poked his head out from the backroom to see her motioning to the cash register and the sharp piece of metal that stuck out from the corner. That piece had been there for god knows how long. It was created when the corner of the cash register cracked and chipped off, leaving a sharp piece of metal in its place. So whenever they opened the cash trey part of the register, they had to make sure to keep there arms/hands elevated or away from that corner, cause it can draw blood.

"I've been saying that since I came out of the fucking whom" Richie shrugged, "Just put some tape over it like everyone else" he suggested before going back into the backroom.

The chiming of the bell above the door indicated that a customer had just entered the diner. "Howdy hey, welcome to John's pizzeria, what can I do for you today?" Sarah tried her best to give a genuine smile as the customer approached the counter.

Eddie gave her a weak smile before responding, "hmm... Can I get a small Hawaiin, please?".

Eddie had 15 dollars and some coins in his fanny pack that was around his waist. He never left his house without it, since he was prone to asthma attacks and that's where he kept his inhaler, among other things, as well as some spare cash. The small brunette was also pretty hungry so he could want a full pizza for himself.

Sarah nodded, punching the order into the cash register, "Okay that will be $17.50" she told the customer.

Eddie handed over $15 in cash and began rummaging around his fanny pack for the rest of the money. "One moment, please" He mumbled.

"I'll be right back with your pizza" Sarah informed him as she turned to go make the pizza. On her way to the back, she poked her head into the back room where Richie had begun watching videos on his phone. "Hey, go get the rest of the money from that customer, I gotta go make a Hawaiian", she told her cousin before heading off. Richie sighed and rolled his kneck.

Who the hell likes pineapple on their pizza?

He thought as he pocketed his phone and made his way over to the main counter where the customer was standing on the opposite side. He had fairly straight brown hair, but Richie couldn't make out his facial features since he had his head tilted down, looking through his fanny pack.

Eddie didn't notice the other boy approach the counter, too lost in thought, trying to mentally calculate the number of coins he needed and how much he had. If there was one thing he hated, it was counting and calculating change.

"Fuck, I hate change" Eddie muttered a little louder then he should have. He had finally found the right amount of change.

Right after Eddie finished his sentence, Richie clicked the button to open the bottom part of the cash register which holds the money. The words the costumer said had struck a chord, deep inside of Richie, causing his arms to sag a little as his mind began to wonder. As the cash trey slide out, the sharp little piece of metal collided with Richie's right arm. He had forgotten to move his arms.

The metal made a cut in the boy's forearm, clean and precise, blood immediately escaping the wound. Pain sliced through Richie's arm as he let out a little yelp, grunt, thingy. His eyes immediately went down to his arm, which he began to grip.

He tried not to groan at the pain but his mouth got the best of him, "Fuck, me gently with a chainsaw" He cursed heavily, unaware of the movie reference he had just made.

Suddenly the customer spoke up, "What?" Their voice filled with shock.

"WHAT?" Richie roared, the pain caused him to lash out.

"W-What did you say?" Eddie's voice was suddenly filled with worry.

Is he alright? Holly shit he's bleeding. oh my god

Richie tried to not sound too mad, "huh? Oh, it's a fucking movie reference from-"

"Heathers," The two said at the same time. They both made eyecontact at that moment. Suddenly everything clicked, they both realized what the other had said. The two had the same thought.

Is he my soulmate?

The idea clouded both of their heads, but Eddie had to quickly push the thought away, this guy was bleeding and needed help. Their undying love was gonna have to wait. With that, the brunette rushed around the counter and dumped the contents of his fanny pack onto a clear spot on the counter.

Richie took a step back, unaware of what the boy was gonna do, "What the hell are you doing?".

"Fixing up your damn arm, look!" Eddie motioned to the blood that was now dripping onto the floor.

Richie could feel his legs get a little wobbly, only now realizing how much blood he'd lost. "S-Shit" He wobbled towards the counter for extra support, as he got a little light-headed.

(There isn't that much blood, I'm making this sound way too extreme)

Eddie ripped open a portable packet that contained a disinfectant wipe. He noticed that his patient's gaze had glazed over, so he rushed to his side.

"Hey man, you okay?" Eddie reached out to grab Richie's arm, catching his attention. Eddie reached out and grabbed Richi's chin, positioning it down to make sure he was looking at him.

"I-I think so" Only then did he notice how much shorter the customer was compared to himself, even tho Rich was pretty sure they were the same age. The realization caused a light smile to spread across his face.

Eddie went to work on cleaning up the wound and disinfecting it. When he looked up at the wounded boy he saw the smile spread across his face, he furrowed his brow which only made Richie begin to laugh, "What? What's so funny?", Eddie stopped to glare.

"Y-You're just so, small! And cute..." He continued to giggle as the shorter one rolled his eyes.

"Wow, I try to help and this is the thanks I get"

"Hey! I called you cute too" Richie's arm got pulled by Eddie since he needed a better look at the cut.

"Yeah, thanks" Eddie's tone was sarcastic but he tilted his head down. He made it seem like he needed to look closer at the wound when he was really hiding his rosy cheeks.

In the end, Eddie patched Richie up with some paper towels and bandaids.

Sarah re-entered the main part of the diner with the pizza box in hand. To her surprise, she saw the costumer and her cousin sat side by side on the floor. With their backs leaning against the counter and their shoulders beside each other. She also noticed how their pinky fingers were crossed together, something small and cute.

Richie explained everything to Sarah. The money, the cut, the blood, he even dropped a little hint about them being soulmates. He told his cousin how he wanted, he needed, alone time with this guy... his soulmate. She only needed a little push before declaring she was clocking out for the night, reminding her cousin to close down before he left.

Returning to the diner he found his little doctor had taken a seat in one of the booths they had near the window. He'd already started on his second piece of pizza by the time Richie made his way over to him.

"Do you mind?" Richie asked, gesturing to the open booth.

"Be my guest" To Eddie's surprise, his patient didn't sit in the seat across from him, instead, claiming the spot right beside him. He tried to not smile as he readjusted his seating position so his back rested against the window and he could face the other boy.

"I'm Eddie by the way"

"Well Eddie, can I steal a slice of Za?" The other boy asked, gesturing to the open box of Hawaiian pizza with his wounded arm.

Eddie immediately wrapped his arms around the pizza box, sliding it towards himself, and away from Richie. With a small yet goofy smile plastered across his lips, he said: "Only if you tell me your name first".

"Richie... My name's Richie" Their eyes met, and suddenly there was a spark. As if a flame had been lit inside of the two that hadn't been there before. It caused the two to smile a little deeper.

Eddie pushed the box over towards Richie, "Who the hell calls pizza, Za?" he asked, half laughing, but half-seriously cause who the fuck does that?

This made Richie's jaw drop in fake shock. "I had trouble pronouncing it as a kid!" He protested while Eddie's laugh only grew stronger. The sound made Richie's heart beat a little bit faster. It was a sound that he wouldn't mind hearing for the rest of his life.

It had been over an hour since they finished the pizza, but they still sat facing each other in the booth, shooting questions back and forth and cracking jokes. "Okay, so where is it?" Richie asked eagerly as Eddie's smile faltered a little. "Oh come on Eds, I'm your fucking soulmate, show meeeee" he begged, dragging out the E.

"Only if you show me first!" He demanded, causing Richie to playfully roll his eyes. Without missing a beat, the trashmouth took his glasses off and leaned down, pulled his ear and pushed his hair back. Eddie sat up a little straighter as he tried to find the perfect angle to view the words above Richie's ear.

He studied the words for a moment, slowly moving his hand up and brushing his fingertips over the neat calligraphy. "Fuck I hate change" Eddie read allowed.

The touch sent shivers down Richie's spine. Eddie's touch was so soft and gentle, Richie wanted to just lean into him and melt away. He let the moment linger after Eddie lifted his finger away before letting his hair fall back into place and moving to sit normally.

"You know... I was worried about this, about you" Richie began saying something he'd never told anyone, "The whole hatting change, I always thought you hated me, and the way I've changed".

Eddie's eyes went wide with sympathy, his hand moving to rest atop of Richie's hand, "What? Rich that's crazy, I-I could never hate you" he stuttered slightly. Even though he'd only just met Richie, he knew that he wouldn't truly ever hate him, cause there was something between the two that was inseparable.

Richie began to lean towards Eddie, "Good" was the last words that slipped from between his lips as he placed them against Eddie's soft pink lips. The kiss was light since he was unaware if Eddie wanted to kiss him so soon. He didn't want to move too quickly. But Richie couldn't seem to help himself. Their lips parted for only a moment before Eddie leaned in and kissed him back.

This time when he boy's lips parted, they let their foreheads lean against one another's. Eddie's hand slowly moved up towards Richie's face, slipping his hand up into Richie's messy curls. Positioning his fingers perfectly, so he cups the side of Richie's face while still having one of his fingers brushing against his first words, just above his ear.

Richie let his long arms dangle over Eddie's shoulders. Their breaths were synched up, low and slow, unlike their pounding heartbeats. Richie slowly moved his head and whispered to Eddie, "Okay now you have to show me...", Eddie could practically hear the smile on his lips. Actually he could feel it too since the other boy's cheek was brushing up against his own.

"Fine" Eddie smirked before turning and facing the open window. "Mind closing the blinds, I really don't want anyone seeing this" He requested. Richie nodded and slowly slid out of the booth, his hands slipping away from Eddie's, leaving him wanting more.

Once all of the blinds were closed, and no one could see this from the street. Richie then grabbed a loose chair and placed it in front of him, sitting backwards like the flamming gay he is.

Eddie glanced at him and let out a breath before slowly starting to unzip the zipper and pull his pants down. "WAIT! Shit dude at least buy me dinner first" Richie's voice was tainted with anxiety as he didn't want to go that far yet.

Eddie let go of his pants and let them fall to the ground as he slapped his forehead with his palm, a little overdramatically but it got the point across. "Jesus... Richie, I'm showing you my words not my dick" he said in a deadpan voice, he tugged the end of his shirt down, making sure it went down over his butt.

The tension quickly evaporated when Eddie moved his leg so Richie could see the words inscribed on his inner thigh. Richie was blind without his glasses but sometimes even with his glasses, so he jumped to his feet and knelt down beside Eddie. He made sure not to get too close to that area, in fear of freaking the other out.

He examined the letters, one by one before requesting to touch them, "May I?".

"S-Sure" Eddie squeaked. He anticipated for Richie to make his move when he suddenly felt his index finger move slowly over the words, stopping right when the words did, not going any farther towards that area. He was thankful. Although he knew he probably loved this boy (even though they'd just met), he wasn't ready to give himself away just yet.

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" The boy who knelt before the other laughed lightly to himself before standing up to meet the other's gaze.

"Yeah what the fuck dude? Do you know how many hot days I had to wear long pants cause of your dumbass?!" Eddie joked, pulling his pants back up.

"What can I say? I love my queen Heather Chandler" He simply shrugged in response.

Eddie raised a brow, "Who?".

"W-Wait, have you never seen Heathers?" Eddie shook his head, "HOLLY SHIT! You need to watch it! You literally have the most iconic line from the movie tattooed on your fucking leg" Richie exclaimed.

Once the two realized how late it had gotten, or early since it was now 2 am and decided to start closing up. Eddie helped with somethings as Richie's arm was still in pain and he wanted to aid. Afterwards, Richie walked Eddie home. They took their time, walking hand in hand.

Eddie stopped right in front of his house, all of the lights were off indicating that his mother had gone to bed. Which was good so she wouldn't see what Eddie did next. He pulled the taller boy down and kissed him. A spark of passion was created that lasts a couple of moments before Eddie pulled away.

Eddie asks, "What now?", his voice was small and quiet. He looked up at Richie and with the help of the streetlamp above them, the light shined perfectly over his face causing his brown eyes to become pools of gold.

"Well, I usually jerk off for about an hour when I get home-". Eddie jokingly gasped and lightly punched Richie's arm.

"No asshat, us... What happens to us?" Eddie asks again, this time with a little bit more seriousness.

"Well... I don't know what to tell you Eds. But whatever it is, we'll do it together" Richie smiled as Eddie's eyes filled with hope and wonder.

"Really?"

"Yes! Of course. We're soulmates baby! It'll be you and me for the rest of time" And with that, they kissed again, and again and again.

Word Count 4784

Ah! I had so much fun writing this one shot, I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did.

I have so many more ideas and I'm so excited to share them with you.

Until next time

So long and Goodnight.

#reddie #richie tozier #beep beep richie #eddie kaspbrak #beverly marsh #it chapter 1 #it 2019 #it 2017 #it chapter 2 #it #losers club #the losers club #oneshot #gay

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