#he had a chance of becoming a good person but ultimately fell back into his old ways since he lacked emotional security

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem. 

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that. 

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you. 

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete. 

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe? 

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him. 

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.” 

Talk about self-control. 

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss? 

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member. 

What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch? 

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself. 

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh? 

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you. 

“Y/N…” 

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of? 

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.

No, no… 

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.

“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight. 

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine. 

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home. 

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen. 

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast. 

Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?” 

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks. 

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?” 

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her. 

“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.” 

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?” 

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.” 

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance. 

The only problem was you. 

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise. 

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?” 

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.” 

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.” 

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself. 

You agreed. 

And he did his part. 

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro. 

——

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started. 

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi. 

The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl. 

Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip. 

Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end. 

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories. 

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured. 

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here. 

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!” 

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.” 

“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.” 

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent. 

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?” 

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.” 

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.” 

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.” 

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.” 

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.” 

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.” 

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.” 

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully. 

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.” 

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this. 

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward. 

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father. 

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job. 

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy. 

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him. 

Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo. 

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe. 

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.” 

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.” 

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond. 

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji? 

Either way, you were on your own now. 

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted. 

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers. 

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?” 

He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?” 

“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.” 

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?” 

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.” 

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it. 

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there. 

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event? 

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events. 

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.” 

Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?” 

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.” 

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.” 

“Did you ask?” 

“He’s tight-lipped about it.” 

You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through. 

“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.” 

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.” 

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes. 

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise. 

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times? 

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden? 

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then? 

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body. 

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.” 

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.” 

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth. 

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice. 

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Alcohol is a truth serum. 

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all. 

A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side. 

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son. 

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him. 

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around. 

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?” 

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.” 

“—Satoru?” 

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely. 

Sera and Sukuna. 

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child. 

He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.” 

Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.” 

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit. 

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home. 

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him. 

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.” 

“...Same.” 

Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.” 

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.” 

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo. 

What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time. 

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you. 

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to. 

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him. 

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do. 

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him. 

You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind. 

You had to have your son. You had to hold him.

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!” 

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son? 

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.  

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.” 

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.” 

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back. 

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?” 

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence. 

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother. 

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through? 

How many more tears do you have to hold back? 

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend. 

Now, he even refused to go home with you. 

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck. 

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you? 

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.” 

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.” 

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.” 

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you. 

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.” 

[damianbugs]

Honestly I would love a Jason Todd comic that focused on confronting his world view, like yes it's easy to put a bullet through the head of every criminal but, the world isn't so black and white, sometimes criminals either have no choice/it goes deeper than that. Similar to how utrh questions Bruce's morality (nothing really came of it) I want a comic where Jason's world view is also questioned.

He really has a lot of potential but idk DC keeps fumbling. I'd like to know your thoughts on how you would handle a Jason storyline, I love your metas.

oh how i mourn the disappointing horror of everything under the red hood could have been... for both bruce and jason!

if i were to handle a jason comic, i would disregard everything ever written after under the red hood and related stories. as much as i enjoy jason joining the batfam and rebuilding bridges in fanon works, i much prefer jason becoming a permanent member of the gotham rouge gallery and staying batman's kind-of-enemy in canon.

what i think utrh was setting up was Jason Todd, Ultimate Foe of Bruce Wayne. jason is a incredibly smart and cunning character, who planned to the smallest detail in order to get his desired outcome. nothing he did was by accident. but more importantly, his unwavering and concrete code can only be rivalled by batman, and so, they will constantly be at odds. if utrh taught us anything, it is that jason and bruce are always going to be plagued by what they lost in each other, and as a result, will never find their way back to what they once were.

they will now forever exist as consequences of each other, no matter what.

by doing this to his story, jason finally has the chance to grow as his own character, independent from the batfam;

one of the biggest problems with how dc is handling jason is that they want him to be this angry, violent and unsociable person while also trying to convince everyone that he is not angry and not violent and very sociable with the batfam. this causes the disparity in his writing, either with inconsistencies or just downright character assassination.

if he was kept as gotham's anti-hero, then this gives him the freedom to find his own code that is no longer dependent on batman's overarching one. utrh jason kills indiscriminately because it's what solves the problem that batman's never been able to fix: crime. jason, who is young, and betrayed, and for all that he is intelligent, he is naive and claims he's the long term solution to batman's short term one. unfortunately, killing criminals to stop criminals from existing works until, like you said, comes a situation where the world isn't so black and white.

jason knows this, probably better than anyone. he comes from poverty and homelessness, lost his parents to drugs and sickness and violence. many of his stories as robin highlight how, unlike batman, jason is able to see people for who they are and not just their actions, offering a empathetic insight that batman, for all he is kind, can never truly grasp.

as red hood, i think a combination of the lazarus pit, his training, and his murderer, batman's seemingly disregard for him, how the world moves on while jason is stuck, has made him forget this kindness he had in him. that he still has. so we need a story where it is pulled out of him and he is forced to battle what he's always known.

i think this question of jason's morality was what zdarsky was TRYING to do with Cheer (Batman Urban Legends #1-#6), but it fell flat due to the terrible portrayal of Robin Jason. The story itself of jason killing someone and bruce reacting to it left a lot to be desired (as always). not to mention how out of all the criminals jason could've been shown to kill, having it be a dealer who is also an addict is rather... tone deaf on jason's own moral code. the killing was also not calculated or "for the greater good" and was instead a rage-filled thoughtless killing which, again, is a gross misunderstanding of jason's moral code and intelligence.

so we almost had it, a story where jason has to fight someone more stubborn than batman — himself. as a character in batman's rouge gallery, this horrifying realisation of who he shares that title with, the determination to be better not because of batman, but because jason himself has realised he can do more by doing less of what he's been doing.

i don't know if i would rule out jason killing people entirely, since it is such an integral deconstruction of who he was as robin and who he is now as red hood, but i would like to think he changes how he holds his weapons. less of "i kill because it's the only way to fix this" and more "i kill because sometimes it's the best thing i can do to fix this". a very subtle but still problematic change that isolates him from ever joining the batfam.

it might seem sort of cruel, that my ideal jason story makes him lonely and more of a villian, but i think that is the sort of tragic path his character is forced to adopt. he made this bed when he returned to gotham with retribution in his plans and hurt in his heart, and now he must lie in.

there is always the potential for him to be happy, to have his family and friends and be the sort of hero he was as a teenager — but to get there, it needs to get worse before it can get better. that's what dc failed with jason, skipping the internal turmoil and drama and harsh reality checks and skipping straight to the part where he has a family again.

plus, batman's rouge gallery teach lessons to batman. poison ivy, harley, two face, strange, riddler and (annoyingly) even the joker play crucial roles to who batman is as a hero and constantly force him to challenge his code.

jason teaches the biggest lesson of all — that batman is bruce wayne. he had the potential to be the driving force that changed bruce's character forever, because red hood is a reflection that batman created all on his own, not by being batman, but by being bruce wayne. and this fact would have given jason the chance to be more than just that.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Lizard: *who asked Nami if they could stop by a certain island because they have good booze*

Nami: *agreed but made sure that Lizard knew that drinking for her wasn't allowed*

Lizard: *as soon as they land takes Doll to a bar where a drunk woman is whos crying and holding a baby blanket*

Doll: *confused* Lizard what are we doing here?

Lizard: *helps the woman sober up and cleans her up* Doll meet your mother.

Doll: *shocked* But my dad said that...

Lizard: It was all lies. Well apart from the part where hes your dad. This is your mother and he stole you from her years ago.

K: *starting to understand and recognizes Doll and runs over and hugs her* MY BABY. OH MY BABY GIRL. LOOK AT YOU YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP.

Doll: *crying* Hi Mom

"Nami said we weren't allowed to drink, why are we here?" Doll shifted uncomfortably behind Lizard while anxiously picking at her sleeves.

Lizard simply continued to pull her along and stopped at a door at the back of the distillery they were at. She tried to open it, but the knob only rattled in place.

"Unlock this," the order came out shockingly casually.

Doll bristled immediately, "What? No! I'm not breaking into this place, what is wrong with you?!"

"It'll be fine, I know the woman who runs this place, she won't mind. Now get to it, this is important," Lizard leaned against the wall while staring at Doll expectantly.

As much as she wanted to argue, Lizard's stare was impossible for her to argue against. She huffed and grumbled a bit, but ultimately conceded to the demand and dug out her lock picking kit. "I can't believe you're making me do this. How do you even know this person?"

"This was one of the islands we hid out on for a while," the other people in the 'we' being the members of CP9. "We were getting something to eat at a tavern down the road and I got to talking to Kailani because she looked so sad and lonely drinking by herself. I want you to meet her."

Just barely resting a finger on the tension wrench she shoved into the lock, Doll began gently gliding her rake tool in and out of the keyhole. The lock seemed awfully cheap, she'll easily have it unlocked in under a minute.

"Why do you want me to meet her?" Granted, it was always nice to make new friends, but the approach Lizard was taking was bizarre to say the least.

"You'll see, just trust me."

The wrench fell limp, signaling that the door was now unlocked. Doll barely had the chance to stand up straight before Lizard threw open the door and yanked Doll in with her. The door quietly clicked shut behind them.

The strong, but sweet, scent of alcohol assaulted Doll's senses. Being around booze was hardly a first for her, but the potency of it in here was staggering. If they stayed long enough, she's sure she would become intoxicated without ever having ingested a drop.

Strangely enough, it was weirdly familiar. The smell made something in the back of her mind tingle, though she couldn't place how exactly she recognized it or where from.

"There she is," Lizard continued dragging Doll around like, well, a doll. "Hey, Kailani!"

An older woman was standing next to a large pot simmering a dark, thick liquid. She had been carefully skimming foam from the top of it when Lizard called out to her. She startled and almost dropped her sieve into the pot.

"Who the hell are you two?!" Kailani's eyes flicker to Doll and she openly sneers at her, "Get out! I don't want any damn kids back here!" Her eyes were glassy, and it wasn't hard to guess why, especially after she took a swig from the bottle in her other hand.

"C'mon, you know me. I'm Lizard. We talked a few times after meeting at the tavern about a year ago, remember?" Lizard's tone was calm, unbothered by the harsh outburst from Kailani.

Kailani's face scrunched up in thought and she took another drink as she mulled over what Lizard said. After a somewhat lengthy pause, recognition flashed in her eyes, "Lizard... Right, I remember you. Such a strange name." Another sip. "Why are you here again? And why did you break into my store? With that... girl, no less."

For reasons Doll couldn't figure out, Kailani kept glowering at her. Specifically her hair, oddly enough.

"I wanted you to meet my friend." Lizard gently pushed Doll in front of her, "Kailani, this is Doll. Doll, Kailani.

Both of them shared a look of confusion as to why Lizard felt the need to introduce them. Doll muttered out a small 'hello', but the nicety wasn't returned.

"I have work to do, if you're done then please leave," Kailani turned her back to them and went back to monitoring the simmering pot. Unfortunately, she wasn't watching where her hand was going and yelped as she accidentally burned her hand on the cauldron.

The bottle she'd been holding before fell to the floor and shattered on impact. Glass shards scattered everywhere, as did what little rum had been left. A slew of curses shot out of her as she cradled the burnt hand to her chest.

Lizard rushed forward, gently herding her away from the pot and to a nearby chair. She snatched the sieve from Kailani, "I'll go skim it for you, just rest here while Doll fetches some water."

Despite not necessarily getting along with the woman, Doll was quick to do as told and brought some cold water for Kailani to soak her hand in.

An awkward silence hung in the air as Kailani aggressively avoided making eye contact. Doll found herself examining the aging woman's face. Her expression was stern, hardened from what Doll could only assume was years of hardship. No one who's had an easy life could look so mean while having such downcast and sad eyes.

It's understandable why Lizard felt the need to approach her the first time. Even Doll found herself wanting to give the woman a hug.

The back door they'd sneaked in through opened and closed, making Doll tense up and whip around to see who else was in here with them now.

"Kailani, you left the door unlocked. Again. One of these days someone is going to steal you poor." Another woman rounded the corner, she looked to be similar in age to Kailani, but perhaps a little younger. She stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted Doll and Lizard, "Who are you?!"

While Doll was panicking and stammering for a response, Lizard answered casually, "We're friends with Kailani and just stopped by to say hi."

"Really now?" She looked to Kailani for confirmation.

"I know her," Kailani nodded at Lizard. "We met last year and talked a little. No clue who this girl is. What are you doing here, Malana?"

"Hardly sounds like you're friends to me," Malana sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "And I'm here because it's noon, and I brought some food so that you don't drink your lunch again."

She strode over to where Kailani was seated and leveled Doll with a hard stare. At first, her expression was annoyed more than anything, but then her brows furrowed. Malana dropped the food onto a table next to her and grabbed Doll by the chin while looking her over. Doll tried to pull away, but her grip was strong.

"How old are you?" Malana's voice was so low that Doll could just barely make out what she said.

"Um, I-I'm fifteen?" The intensity of her gaze was downright intimidating.

Her eyes widened at this answer, "What's your name?" Both of her hands dropped and tightly gripped Doll's shoulders.

Before Doll could answer, Lizard did so for her. "She goes by Doll now, but her real name is (Y/N)."

Kailani's head snapped up so fast that it could be heard cracking. For the first time, she fully looked Doll in the eye, her own were wide and wild. "(Y/N)?" The small water basin in her lap fell to the ground as she launched herself out of the chair and held onto Doll as if she would disappear if she didn't. Doll stumbled, but just barely managed to remain upright. Malana was speaking but she couldn't make out a word of it over Kailani's hysterical sobbing.

"(Y/N), my (Y/N), my baby!" She pulled back slightly and cradled Doll's face in her work-weathered hands, "I thought I would never see you again!" Once again, Doll's face was squished against the woman's chest as she held onto her with all her strength.

Doll had no idea what was happening. She managed to twist her head enough to look for Lizard in hopes that she might have an answer.

Lizard was standing only a few steps away, "This is your mother. She never died, Shanks kidnapped you in the middle of the night while she slept."

Her once tense posture fell limp as Doll went into what she could only describe as being a state of shock. "What?"

"He lied to you, he's been lying to you for years."

Malana had joined in on the hug, aggressively squeezing both Doll and Kailani, "I can't believe you're here!" She let go and rushed for the door while scrubbing the tears off her face, "Stay put, I'll go get everyone else!"

As the door slammed behind her, two things were on Doll's mind. One, that she was going to savor every single second of this reunion, and two...

She was going to kill Shanks for what he's done.

[justthoughts1310]

Boruto End Game Predictions

Now that we are 6 chapters deep in Two Blue Vortex, I want to make predictions on how it's going to end (01/18/2024) and see if I'm right 5-10 years from now.

Boruto x Sarada or/and Boruto x Mitsuki becomes endgame - Now, what do I mean by this? I really see Boruto as a rolling stone. Therefore, I imagine that there's a strong possibility that Boruto x Sarada have a kid together. However, since Sarada wants to be the Hokage and Boruto wants to be the Shadow Hokage, I imagine that Boruto will not be spending a lot of time in the village. Now, I don't see a world where Mitsuki doesn't go where Boruto goes. Therefore, these two would become the ultimate end game, and yes they'd have a child of their own. How? Through Orochimaru's engineering and test tube nursery. Boruto x Mitsuki's relationship would be intimate, but I'm not entirely sure if it'd be romantic or sexual. Think Gai x Kakashi but less weird.

Sarada becomes the Hokage & Boruto becomes the shadow Hokage - Sarada becoming the 8th or 9th Hokage is pretty straightfoward IMO. I don't know if Konohamaru will ever become Hokage. The strength he displays in the coming chapters will outline if he's strong enough to become Hokage. If Konohamaru and Shikamaru both become official Kages, that would make Sarada the 10th Hokage, but she'd be a Hoakge all the same. Discussing Boruto now, though Boruto enjoyed his life in the village, I imagine that in his new OP position that Boruto will see the best use of his abilities to be outside of the village, protecting the world for Otsutsuki just as Sasuke had done. However, being far more social than Sasuke and being more like his father in this regard, I don't imagine Boruto to lonewolf his Shadow Hokage tenure.

Naruto is rescued from the Daikokuten and becomes the Ten Tails Jinchuriki or the New Sage of Sixth Path - I imagine that Naruto will get stronger, because of the void within him left by Karama. He will then attain a higher state of being such as becoming the Next Sage of Sixth Path and then ascend to a higher level of being in order to protect both the earth and art of Ninshu.

Sasuke and everyone else are rescued from the Divine Trees. Sasuke regains his Rinnegan and gains new abilities - I have no idea what Sasuke would do after this happens, but hopefully he just settles down and becomes a family man now that he has someone else to replace him as the shadow Hokage. Traditionally, when Sasuke dies Naruto and he are supposed to reincarinate, but I imagine in this case they both reach a higher state of being. Maybe Sasuke guards the a new moon that seals Shiba Outsutsuki.

Eida dies, Daemon dies, and Amado dies - I'm not convinced that Eida will die, but I see Daemon and Amado as OP annoyances that the Leaf Village is going to want to dispose of as soon as they get the chance. At this point, Eida is a pretty decent person, so I imagine that Eida will find a new love interest. Maybe this love interest in male, but... She's probably not going to run around fighting Otsutsuki with Boruto (her one weakness), she's definitely not going to continue to simp for Kawaki because he's an asshole, so let's go gay. She end game becomes paired with Sarada or Sumire.

No one regains their memories. Omnipotence is not reversed - Boruto permits Kawaki to continue to live his life in the Leaf Village as the adored son. Only the people who need to know remember that Boruto is an Uzumaki like Himawari, Mitsuki, Sarda, Sumire, Konohamaru, Kakashi, and all of Team 10. Boruto has his big hero moment that puts Boruto back into the good graces of the village just enough to be the shadow hokage in peace.

Mitsuki is revealed to be the son of Orochimaru x Toneri and undergoes his own Otsutsukitication - Now, people were predicting this two years ago until Eida arrived in Konoha. Once Mitsuki fell for Omnipotence, everyone was like "Oh no! Mitsuki is not an Otsutsuki", but here's the thing... there's no happenstance in animation. Imagery is crucial in art and literature l, and therefore the similarities between Toneri and Mitsuki are far too great to be ignored. Their aesthetics are almost one to one in both base mode and sage mode and Mitsuki is obsessed with the moon. It might be that Mitsuki was affected by Omnipotence for the same reason that Mitsuki struggled to maintain his sage mode. His Otsutsukication is not complete. His body is not strong enough yet to handle all the abilities he has within him and he's growing and maturing into said abilities. It might also be that because Mitsuki possess snake sage mode at the same time as Otsutsuki qualities that Mitsuki's says mode interfers with his alien abilities.

Boruto, Sarada, and Mitsuki all have snake summons - With the intro of Koshin Koji this one is a little more confusing, since it now makes sense for a boruto to have a toad summon. However, we've already seen in the anime that Borutonhasbmade a snake summon contract before. I don't know if it's still effective though. Then Mitsuki uses snakes all the time and he's the son of Orochimaru, so of course he has a snake summon. This lady one is tricky, because Sarada hasn't been trained by her father. However, I just don't see Sarada summoning the slug. Sarada has no talent as a medical ninja according to the anime. However, the anime and manga contradict each other. So, I'm going to guess that Sarada will also summon a snack. Especially since, Team 7 does have a lot of overlapping abilities. For example, all three of them have lightning release. Two of them know purple lightning.

I also predict that Sasuke will die. I don't have a Rationale for this yet. I just feel it. A beloved character has to die sometimes. Just ask Jiraya.

[thelashjedi]

You Look Happy (i’m not)

“You look happy.”

“Of course I do. Wouldn’t do for the Gryffindor Princess of the Golden Trio to express an emotional reaction other than gratitude. Or so I have been told,” she said, her voice dripping with disdain.

They were at the Ministry Yule Ball. Hermione had left the dance floor a moment ago and Draco had been unable to resist the urge to follow her, hoping for a chance to speak to her without her ever-present guard Weasel.

They had both worked for the Ministry over the last eighteen months — separate departments, unfortunately —ever since graduating from Hogwarts after an emotionally exhausting 8th year. They had become something of study partners at school — on their way to becoming friends, he had thought.  

Hoped, really.

But that fell apart after graduation. Her long-distance relationship was no longer long distance and his parents had insisted he settle the betrothal arrangement with the Greengrasses. He wasn’t going to have the life — or witch — he wanted anyway, so he acquiesced. But Draco wasn’t happy. And it looked like he might have some company in that. 

“Sorry, Granger. I thought you were having a good time.”

“And I thought you could tell when I was faking a smile.”

So had he. Maybe he was losing the ability to read her. The ball had been opened by Harry and Ginny and Hermione and Ron dancing across the floor. The young heroes of the ultimately successful resistance — young and in love and a visual representation of a bright future ahead from their future unions — demonstrably putting all that nasty war business behind everyone. At least, that was what it looked like. It was definitely what Shaklebolt intended the people to see.

“I guess we all have our roles to play.”

“Like you and Astoria?”

“Something like that.”

She snorted, her expression falling away into an emotionless stare. “I came into the alcove so I could stop pretending for one bloody moment that I am happy or that I want this — any of it. I don’t want to be anyone’s symbol, full stop. I particularly don’t want to be their symbol to be used as they see fit. Ron’s so awed by the attention he doesn’t even think anything’s wrong — not with him, me — not with us. Just full steam ahead on a wedding I don’t want to a person who doesn’t like any of the things that make me me. Ron likes the idea of me being his wife a lot more than the actual me — not that he seems to realize it, of course.”

Draco’s eyes widened in the darkened alcove where he had found her. She wasn’t holding back — acting as though she had been biting her tongue for months. Which was probably exactly what had been happening.

“I’m sorry, Granger.”

Hermione scoffed. “Of course you are. Everyone’s sorry. No one’s going to do anything different, mind. I fought in and won a bloody war before I even had a chance to finish school and my reward is a scripted life I do not want. For the bloody greater good,” she said bitterly.

Draco swallowed roughly. That sounded so much like his father. “It’s for the good of the family, Draco,” he had sneered, when Draco asked why an arranged marriage was still necessary, even after the war was over.

“It would have been nice if either of us had been consulted about the trajectory of our lives, I suppose,” he said with a wry smile.

“Exactly! You get it.” She became pensive again, chewing her bottom lip as she thought. She cocked her head to her side as she looked at him. “What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted right now? Truly — whatever you wanted.  No rules, no fear of the consequences, anything is possible.”

Time seemed to slow. Radical honesty wasn’t exactly Draco’s forte. But maybe it was time for him to try on some bravery. It wasn’t as though he had much to lose that he actually cared about.

“I’d leave this party for starters. Hopefully with the witch I actually wanted. Maybe run away and marry her before I’m forced to marry anyone else.”

“Even if you got disinherited for it?”

“Oh, fuck the Malfoy vaults. If I had her, none of that would matter.”

Hermione looked at him assessing, her trembling hands the only indicator of how affected she had been by his words. “I think I would do the same. With the wizard I actually want to be with.”

“You know, Theo has a flat in Paris. It’s a nice spot to elope to…” his voice trailed off as he looked at her — hoping against hope that he wasn’t wrong.

Hermione took a step closer. “And New Year’s Eve is just around the corner. That’s a good day for a wedding anniversary.”

Draco moved closer to her in turn. “It is. Want to get out of here, Granger?”

He had been wrong, as it happened.

She hadn’t been happy before.

Because now she practically glowed with how happy she looked, as she smiled up at him. He could see the difference.

“Draco, I thought you’d never ask.”

———————————————————

“For the love of Salazar, my bloody eyes!”

“Calm down, Theo.”

“You calm down! No one should be subjected to that much pale naked arse — especially without warning! I could have been blinded. Who do you have under there anyway? I know it’s not Astoria because your parents and the Greengrasses are looking for you. It’s not a particularly friendly search, by the way. Head’s up.”

“Hello Theo” came a timid voice from underneath a pile of bedding. “Thank you for letting us use your flat.”

Theo snorted. “Let might not be the right word.” He paused, recognizing that voice. “Is that Hermione Granger?” Theo turned his eyes on Draco, shocked. “Did you shag Granger?”

“Malfoy.” Draco said through gritted teeth.

Theo rolled his eyes. “Yes Draco, we’ve known each other since nappies. I know your name. Did you get hit with an oblivate? Because your parents might accept that as an excuse.”

“Not my name you prat — hers.  This is Hermione Malfoy.”

The pile of expensive linens spoke again.  “It’s Granger-Malfoy, actually.”

[albatmobile]

The Art of Rehabilitating Snowbirds Chapter 16

𓅪 After not hearing from Roy or Jason for five years, you suddenly find yourself taking in extra income as a babysitter for their child.

𓅪 Rated: M | 3.3k includes: making up, karaoke, Damian appreciation

fem!Reader x Jason Todd x Roy Harper [masterlist]

Chapter 16: It's Gonna Be Me | ao3 - wattpad

THEN

Your apartment was cold and lonely compared to the warm bustle you'd become accustomed to at Wayne Manor, but you had a point to prove. 

Jason had texted you once, while Roy had taken to blowing up your phone in the days following. By the time Monday came around, you were shocked to find the redhead at your locker before Tim had even gotten there. 

You raised a questioning brow at his uncharacteristic timeliness to school, then covered his face by opening your locker, “What do you want?”

“Good morning to you too,” Roy’s hair flopped back into view around your locker door. “Jason made scones as an apology for being a huge dick.”

You heard a paper bag ruffle from behind you, but you focused on grabbing your books for the first half of the day. When you shut the door and he was still there, wriggling the bag in your face, you saw no better option than to grab them from his hand and chuck it into the trashcan on the other side of the hall.

The sound was a lot louder than you expected, but you went with it anyway.

His mouth dropped.

Yeah, you weren’t crawling back this time.

Damian showed up and overtook Roy’s steps as he fell in step beside you, pushing him behind the two of you in the process. You’ve never had friends, so you’d never given anyone the cold shoulder. However, the way you and Damian were chittering along like Roy wasn’t even there was definitely cold.

Like Mr. Freeze cold.

Your heart ached, knowing if you chanced a look over your shoulder, Roy would have his signature puppy pout that would make you want to forget everything and forgive him, so you forced your eyes ahead. Eventually, the trailing presence left and you and Damian made it to class minutes before the warning bell ever rang.

“You’re more tolerable than usual,” Damian commented, taking in your distracted state. 

You’re faced toward the window with the end of your paintbrush tapping against your pencil outline. 

“Less distracted, I guess,” You turned from the window to wet your brush.

Damian hummed, “The manor has been quiet.”

“I’m not a loud person,” You doubted your absence would be that noticeable in a house filled with that many kids.

“Your presence demands attention, then,” Damian restated. “You will come over tonight for a sleepover.” It wasn’t even a question, but a demand. How could you refuse?

Oh, right.

Roy’s annoying ass you could deal with, but Jason? Anyone with eyes could see you were two opposing forces.Nothing was ever easy with him. You gulped at the idea of running into him again so soon.

Damian called your name.

“Huh?” His face scrunched up in a concerned manner at your response. “Oh, sleepover. Yeah,” You trailed off, swirling your brush in the pigment. “I think I can come over.”

You didn’t bother to look over at the confused look that was undoubtedly on his face and were grateful when class started to cut off further questioning.

•

Damian didn’t question your fleeting nature in the manor when you insisted on staying in his room sketching Titus. Eventually, he got tired and begged to be let out.

Dinner ultimately went smoothly, with both Dick and Babs in attendance and Tim joining a few minutes in. 

It was dessert that was messy.

You should’ve known something was off when Alfred asked for your help on the whipped cream. You should’ve known he was the scheming old man everyone claimed him to be. 

Alfred left you to whisk the heavy cream and powdered sugar when Jason’s skunk stripe made a sudden appearance. 

You froze.

“Hey,” Your name spilled nonchalantly from his mouth. You continued whisking. If he wanted to talk, he could talk. “You doing karaoke tonight?”

Out of all the things you expected to come out of his mouth, that definitely wasn’t one of them.

“What?”

You didn’t miss the smirk that trickled onto his scarred cheeks, “Karaoke?”

You sighed.

He made his way behind you, coming up beside you while still allowing a decent amount of space between you.

Chatter from the other room carried over to the kitchen as Dick rambled on about some ski trip in the Alps. The clock in the kitchen ticked every second and the whisk beat against the metallic bowl in your hand.

“Did you like the scones?”

You didn’t rise to the bait.

The heavy cream was still far too soupy to be used, so you quickened your pace. The faster you could get this over with, the better.

Metal crashed against metal, Dick’s voice rang out and the clock chimed out eight times.

“I’m sorry.”

It was quiet.

You set the whisk down on the counter with a gentle clang but refused to face him.

“You already said that.”

Damian called what you were fixated on: the tile between the wall and the cabinets, a backsplash. You’d never been so interested in the pearlescent tile that graced the space, but it’s all you could focus on at the moment. If it weren’t for that stupid fucking tile, you’d be seconds away from walking straight out the front door again.

“Jay babe, yooo-oh,” Roy’s boisterous voice cut through the lull in the dining room, calling out jokingly to Jason only to abruptly cut himself off at the sight of your back. “Hey,” Your name is added on like a second thought.

Your fight or flight kicked in and your spine straightened in your indecision.

With both of them present, it was now or never.

Your eyes tore from the backsplash to finally confronted them, “I don’t care if you guys think I’m a bitch for acting how I did. I’m tired of being strung along,” You choked, rephrasing quickly. “As a friend, you know? You can’t just decide when you want to associate with me and when you don’t like I’m some toy. I’m not scared to be alone.” 

It was a thinly veiled threat and they knew it.

It was a lie and you knew it.

Roy stepped closer to you, testing the murky waters that separated you. His eyes searched yours for any hesitation, but your resolve quickly crumbled until he found none. “You don’t have to be alone again. At least not because of our dumbasses. I’m sorry,” He looked at Jason, “We’re sorry. You’re right.”

You let your stern look drop and look between the two of them, “Okay.”

They’d apologized and you’d forgiven them, but things still felt off. You could partially feel the walls you’d steadily been chipping away at fully fortify around them once again, taunting you in their wake.

“Don’t take it the wrong way. We’re not used to letting people in.” Jason’s voice called your attention to him, “There are some things you need to trust. Please just trust that it has to be like this.” 

The apology you could accept. Them going right back into keeping shit from you? Not so much. Regardless, you feel the need to keep the peace, “Okay.” 

Dessert goes off without a hitch, you mainly sticking to Damian’s side, talking about his latest shopping spree for Titus. You didn’t miss how their eyes followed every touch you left on Damian from across the table.

•

It’s not like you were exactly quiet or anything, but in large groups like this, you tended to hover in the shadows as an observer. Considering the last person you expected to get up and sing was Damian, you doubted you could get him up there for a duet, but damn, did you want to sing at least one song.

After watching Barbara kill at Macklemore, Tim dominate a song in perfect Japanese, then Dick downright murdering ‘Holding Out for a Hero,’ you were itching to get up there. Roy’s rendition of 'Gold Digger' was nothing compared to his duet with Jason to 'Colt 45'. 

Yes, you were still hesitant around them, but you couldn’t suppress your smile at their performance. Jason’s head nods to the beat, coupled with Roy’s obnoxious hand gestures to the lyrics, left even Damian cackling like an idiot. 

You couldn’t help but notice you hadn’t seen Stephanie around in forever and, even though you’d originally gotten off on the wrong foot, you were definitely missing her sass. Karaoke definitely seemed up her alley, so you wondered why she couldn't come.

Weird.

After Dick stole the mic for the fifteenth time of the night, he tried to wrestle it from Barbara’s grip when she snatched it away. Dick and Bab’s game of tug-of-war continued onto the makeshift stage, which forced Jason and Roy to evacuate the vicinity. 

It was weird because you swore you saw Jason and Roy hesitate about where to go as they left the stage. For once, you felt like you could read them and, for once, it seemed like they hadn’t noticed your edge above them. 

With all the couches being free and the one you were sitting on more than half occupied by Damian and yourself, you’re surprised when Roy’s feet gained confidence and headed in your direction. Jason followed skeptically behind him. He obviously didn’t want to push anything and ruin the progress you’d all made in the kitchen, but you showed no hostility. 

Honestly, you were tired of being at war with them. One weekend had been more than enough time apart, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. 

Roy fell into the seat next to you on the couch, nearly hitting you in the process. His added weight sent you falling into his side, causing his hands to go up in surrender. You quickly shuffled away to put more room between the two of you, but no matter how far you scooted, you were still tilting toward him. 

“We’re good. Right?” Roy tilted his head at you like a confused puppy. 

Jason stayed off to the side, pretending to watch Dick sing another rock ballad when, in reality, you knew he was paying attention to your every word.

“Keep asking and my answer just might change,” Damian snickered from beside you. 

“No, I just mean, like, we settled everything?” His head tilted more, a feat you didn’t think possible. “‘Cuz I can’t lie, princess, not talking to you’s been killing us.”

You nodded lightly, “Yeah, we’re good.”

It definitely felt nice to hear that the break had also impacted them. 

“Good.”

“I’m not playing that game with you,” You snorted. “So, since we’re all good, now I get to ask why you were shirtless.”

“Roy’s a whore,” Damian rolled his eyes. “Don’t waste a question on something as obvious as that.”

“Least take me out on a date before calling me those dirty names, darlin’.” 

Damian’s nose scrunched at Roy’s response, choosing to physically remove himself from the conversation to sabotage the sound system instead.

“Thanks for ditching me,” You called after his retreating form but were met with his middle finger. “So?” You looked at Roy.

“Still thinking about me shirtless, beautiful?”

“My age still not an issue for tonight?” He sputtered at your retort while Jason at least had the decency to look amused. 

“Whatever,” He bumped into you jokingly. “You singin’ or what?”

Damian was wrestling Dick while Babs filmed the whole thing and the mic had rolled onto the ground in front of you. 

“Well, there is one song I know.”

You stood up, picking up the microphone in the process and Dick and Babs immediately backed off. Damian scoffed at you but moved too, nonetheless.

You turned around and shook your head at their snickers and Dick’s wolf whistles. Hiding your smile, you waited anxiously for Dick to hit the lights and for Babs to start the song. 

Your eyes avoided everyone in the room as the opening died down and Justin Timberlake’s voice kicked in. The choreography you hadn’t realized you’d memorized came easily after. Dick, who Barbara had wrestled to the couch to prevent him from hijacking another performance, still managed to wriggle free to join your moves in unison just as the second chorus hit. 

The room got so loud when Alfred walked in on you and Dick doing the robot, leaving everyone else collectively loose their shit. The older man merely closed the door, shaking his head before retreating back downstairs and letting Bruce know karaoke night was a success. 

What Alfred didn’t know (and what Dick would never admit while he was still in police academy) was that everyone was decently tipsy off the natties Roy had lugged in. 

The final chorus kicked in and by that point, everyone but Jason and Damian were on their feet, following along with Dick's and your choreography. By the time the song ended, you were all in a howling, panting heap on the floor.

Roy’s sweaty shirt was flung onto Dick’s disgusted face as he flopped back down next to you on the floor. 

“What is with you and this shirtless thing you’ve got going on?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Yes,” You shifted your head to face him, flashing him a tipsy grin, “that’s why I’m asking, you weirdo.”

“Yeah, I bet you do,”He snorted and flicked his cap further down over his eyes, casting them into a shade of darkness. 

“Roy, what?” You snorted, raising your arm and letting it fall on his stomach. He rolled over on top of you in retaliation until his weight forced you to tap. He removed himself easily and your breathing finally regulated. 

Off to the side, you heard Damian call for you.

Roy pouted, “You leavin’ me all alone with Jay?”

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” You paid him no mind, knowing Roy was completely exaggerating his resistance. Damian reached his hand down toward you and hauled you upward, “Besides, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, anyway. I’m spending the night with Damian.”

Roy looked over at Jason and made grabby hands, only to be met by Jason’s middle finger. You sighed and reached your hand down to help him up. 

“Oh, princess. You sure know how to treat a gent,” He waggled his eyebrows at you obnoxiously. You were tempted to drop him right then and there, but the kind part in your heart won out and you elected to pull him to his feet instead. 

Jason waited for the two of you with Damian at the door. 

“You sure you don’t want to go out with us?” He was leaning casually against the frame. You had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes at his angsty-ass behavior. 

You looked at Damian, who’d yet to take his eyes off you since your karaoke number, “Uh, where to?”

“Just walking around downtown and shit.”

Damian’s eyes flickered with what you were beginning to think was jealousy. The last thing you wanted to do was upset him when he was the reason you were even here to forgive them in the first place.

“I’ll probably just stick around here with Dami,” You followed behind as they made to leave. At the nickname, everyone's steps faltered except your own. “What?”

Ever since the argument, even though all was forgiven, you still viewed them differently and they obviously viewed you differently. Whether it was sexual and out of reach or platonic and all in your head, you didn’t know. What you did know was that Damian had always been there for you. 

You parted ways with Jason and Roy, Damian absolutely preened when you walked into his room with him instead of leaving with them. You rolled your eyes; boys were so annoying.

You knew you made the right choice, though.   

His hand rested against the small of your back as he led you to his balcony. 

“This is probably one of the only places in the city where you can actually see the stars,” He nodded his head toward the sky and your eyes followed his line of sight. The inky blackness radiated flecks of white stars as if they’d been splattered across its expanse like paint on a canvas. “There’s Ursa Major,” Your eyes trailed to the end of his finger. “Right next to Cassiopeia.” 

“I always loved that myth,” You sighed dreamily, thinking back to when you’d hoarded all the mythology books you could find with Bart at your last school. While you never really talked, he was always in the library for some reason, so it made sense why your paths always seemed to cross. 

Silence with you and Damian was never awkward, especially now with all the twinkling night sky to keep you entertained.

“You performed wonderfully,” He said out of nowhere.

His room overlooked the rose garden where you’d been just a few months prior. You thought back to the shaky ground you’d found yourself on with Jason in the library after he’d denounced the garden situation. From where you were standing, you could look down and see the very fountain that you’d wrestled in. You were quite literally above the situation.

You couldn’t tell if he was being facetious or not. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious,” He was facing the gardens with both hands on the railing, but his eyes were on as if he thought you might disappear at any moment. “You make everything so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help the shock that caused your mouth to fall open, “Damian.”

He turned to face you now, “You make the simplest of things seem so magical. From the way you hold your paintbrush to the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re anxious.” You hadn’t even realized you’d done that yourself, “The way your eyes glisten when you know an answer in class. It all goes back to the way you put yourself out there, not caring what anyone thinks of you,” He exhaled as if it physically pained him to get this off his chest. “You’re entirely beautiful.”

“Damian,” You said again, not quite believing what you were hearing. No one had ever written you poetry, let alone spoken such niceties to you, but Damian's words felt like a poem. Your insides felt completely warm.

“I adore you,” He took your hands in his, searching your eyes for an answer you didn’t know if you had. 

Everything with Jason and Roy was so muddled and entirely a daydream if you were being honest. Damian was within reach. He was kind, always there for you. He understood your sass and offered it back tenfold. 

He was perfect.

Your stomach clenched and your eyebrows drew together in confusion.

If he was perfect, why were you so hesitant?

“You mean so much to me, Dami.”

While you’d kissed him before, this felt like your actual first kiss.

No emotional turmoil, no traumatic event. No screaming, no blood, just the crickets, wind and stars to keep you company. 

The rose gardens shrunk from view as your face slowly inched toward Damian’s. His hands slid along the railing until his right hand brushed against your left. He allowed his pinky to graze along your own before his smaller hand tried to cover yours.

It’d been months since you’d last done anything beyond the intention of friendly, but you weren’t dumb. You knew where this was heading.

His lips were perfectly smooth as they made chaste pressure against your own.

His cheek came to rest against your warm one, causing you to tilt your head to meet his own until you were able to look up and meet his eyes. He was waiting for you to make the next move, you realized in amusement. You nudged his head with your forehead until it tilted upward, allowing you to fully capture his lips with your own.

He removed his other hand from the railing to cup your cheek. Meanwhile, yours both moved to his chest to deepen the kiss. 

When you broke apart, you couldn’t help the yawn that escaped you.

“Sorry,” You apologized with a wince. You hadn’t been getting any sleep on your shitty mattress at home and the prospect of sleeping on Damian’s cloud had you excited in the sleepiest way possible.

Damian dismissed the action as he grabbed your hand, placing a delicate peck on top of it. Without having to say anything, he opened the door for you and stripped down to his boxers with a self-conscious second glance before hopping into his bed. 

He looked at you expectantly. 

You stripped into a baggy crop top and the shorts he'd kept since the last sleepover before joining him. When Damian attempted to flip your position so he could be the big spoon, you just tightened your grip around his midsection until he gave in, snuggling against your front with a slight huff.

Though your tired eyes wailed for you to succumb to sleep, one question rang out in your head, preventing it.

Why had you kissed him?

A/N: EVERY LITTLE THING I DOOOO -- come say hi/ send me prompts!!

[next]  ||  masterlist ||  pinned

[verdantflamingo]

Couples and "almost" couples that the writers wiped the floor with at one point.

Show: Charmed

Couple: Phoebe and Cole

Plot: Phoebe and Cole fell in love despite a somewhat dubious beginning, when Cole was actually a half-demon sent to kill her and her sisters. Their love brought out Cole's human side and the two got married, and for a while it really seemed like these two were going to be the second ultimate couple. Only no. Cole became the new source of evil, manipulating Phoebe into becoming the evil queen by his side, she eventually broke free from his grasp and along with her sisters, defeated Cole. Cole then later tried to win Phoebe's heart back, but that never happened. Until today, I didn't know there was such a thing as a 9th and 10th season in comic book form, but in it, Phoebe and Cole finally reconcile after years, Cole saves the life of Phoebe's husband Coop, and his body is possessed by his own father. The End.

Rating: They deserved better.

Opinion: without a doubt one of the most dynamic or rather the most dynamic relationship in Charmed. I've always liked Phoebe the best of the Halliwell sisters, though I suppose a lot of that was due to her looks and her dark potential. And Cole was interesting from beginning to end. It was interesting to watch their relationship from the beginning to the very bittersweet ending, but I wasn't the only one who felt wronged after the ending that the two didn't get a future together. They were passionate and in love and were determined to go to great lengths to protect the other. Their relationship is very much defined by the good and evil that runs through both of them, but they fought it, both of them. For a long time, it seemed like they were supposed to represent the fairy tale "love always wins." But no. In the end, Cole ended up trapped somewhere between worlds. Phoebe wasn't treating him very well towards the end, and we fans had to put up with a hastily conjured Coop at the end who had no chance to compete with a relationship built over several seasons with maybe five episodes.

I personally don't mind if the "couple" end up separated at the end, but we didn't get any adequate replacement, and what the writers spent so many seasons building up came to nothing. So many twists and turns, Cole is good, then bad, then good again, then bad again, then maybe good, and Cole is alive, dead again… And alive, and death… Yeah, a little toxic relationship… I think if she didn't end up with Cole, she should have ended up with Jason Dean, he was the boss. They met sometime in season five with enough room to build a relationship. Cupid wasn't bad, but he just came so late.

Best: Unfortunately, it's been years since I watched the show, so I don't remember much. But I do remember Cole fighting with himself not to hurt Phoebe, really trying to make it work, but he wasn't lucky or strong. I appreciate the moment when Phoebe realizes that for all her love for Cole, they won't have their happy ending.

Worst: Season 5. While it had some good moments, like Phoebe the Mermaid, it was also the season that completely buried those two.

Trivia: I appreciate that in one episode, Phoebe learns that her true love's name begins with the letter C. At that point, it's obviously supposed to be Cole. It's nice that the writers remembered this moment and named her new man with a C.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS: If you also feel that some couple/ maybe couple has been wronged, feel free to follow up on my post!

PSS: This "project" is not based on any deep study, it is just a short summary of opinions that I feel compelled to share.

[yell0wsalt]

🔀 Kuvira/Ryu

You’re too funny for suggesting this pair, thanks for the ask :)

Rest under the cut because man this got a little long.

****

Both single and down on their luck when it came to relationships, Ryu and Kuvira were over it. Dating sucked and it felt as if pursuing romance was hopeless for them. While they liked the benefits of the relationships, getting there and staying there presented its own challenges. It was then Kuvira proposed a friends with benefits situation for the two of them. No emotions, just sex.

No need to worry about the hassle of finding someone else to date. Just fucking. In the chance one of them does find another romantic partner, then that’s the end of their deal.

Sounds simple enough, right?

Ryu thought so and agreed.

When they started to have sex regularly and push those boundaries between them, there was a shift in their physical and sexual connection igniting.

They might have fallen deeper than what they planned for. And it was getting harder to keep feelings at bay.

For Kuvira that realization came when she understood it was Ryu who had been by her side and made her feel special. Like she mattered. He treated her like the most beautiful woman he seen.

And Ryu, those feelings were always there in one form or another. Not only did she also see him and who he was, he was also inspired to grow and become a better person.

Instead of doing anything about it, they bit their tongues on the deal they made from the start.

In bed, they let their bodies express what they could not with their words. The dance and song continued, though more dulled and drained as they were worn down emotionally.

Yes, they enjoyed spending their days together as friends. But there was this growing distance between them that the sex could not fix.

When Kuvira recognized how deep her feelings went, she was unsure and even scared how to approach them, so... she didn’t. She thought herself to not be someone built for relationships. Instead, she silently waited for Ryu and wondered why they couldn't be closer in the way she wanted.

Ryu on his part struggled wondering if and why Kuvira would want to be with him. In too deep with the belief that no matter what, he would never be good enough and didn’t have anything more to offer her than their deal. So, he kept his distance.

Spend the day together, then roll around in the sheets at night. But never stay the night. Kuvira would wake up to a cold side of the bed, Ryu gone before the sun rose.

One other day, Kuvira decided to meet up with her friend Korra. It had been a while since they hung out and caught up. In their get together, she ended up venting about her issues with Ryu. Their deal, the mixed signals and ultimately wanting to be more than fuck buddies. It was admittedly getting to be too much for her and she didn’t know where to go from there.

It was then Korra suggested being honest with him as the catalyst for getting what she wanted. While a full-on confession may not be necessary, a peek for more could be the push.

Kuvira realized Korra had a point. There was nothing else left to lose. She was going to see him that upcoming weekend.

As per usual, in the middle of the night that weekend they were together, Ryu swiveled himself out of Kuvira’s bed. Pressing himself up, a tug on the wrist held him back and he stiffened.

The grip was soft yet firm. He could have shaken free, but it told him to wait and turn around. He decided to listen and when he did, Ryu found Kuvira staring him down insistently. Piercing green eyes cut through the darkness of the night.

“I thought you were asleep,” he said plainly breaking the silence.

Very much awake, Kuvira scooted herself upright to the head of the bed and properly faced him, uncaring of where the sheets fell on her body. Running her fingers through his hair and thumbing away the fatigue on his face so he could see her clearer, she uttered a single word in response.

“Stay.”

The way his features fell into a sense of tired relief. The way his shoulders relaxed hearing the sincerity in her voice. Ryu was drawn back in. Silently, he let her lead them back into bed.

When daylight came, they both knew they would talk about it. They would try to figure out what they could be. But for now, they welcomed each other’s comforting touch to carry them through the night.

🔀 and a pairing

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Six: In Old Yellowcake Pt. 4

 Gluttony paused in silence as he nibbled on his fingers a bit in thought. There was a whimpering sound from Gluttony as he pieced together the best way to explain Dante to the new person. Though patient, Dolly did grow a bit worried at the long wait for the explanation on who Dante is and wondering just what sort of awful corpse lady this Dante was. The pause came to an end as Gluttony took his fingers out of the mouth and was ready to speak. “Dante is our leader, she fed us kibbles to make us look like people, gave us home, gave us names, and promised to make us human if we do a good job on bringing her the stone. Dante made Pride and Greed, but Greed didn’t listen to Dante and got put in jail by Envy. Dante is a good lady, but she is scary if we make her mad. Dante is mad right now at Envy, Envy is on their last chance.” Gluttony explained to the best of his ability about Dante.  

 “What would happen to Envy if they lost their last chance?” Dolly asked, becoming pretty unnerved by Dante. “Scary things, very scary things.” Gluttony whimpered as he averted his head away to look out on the street. 

 The truck managed to make it out of Central without much incident as Dolly carefully reached over to give Gluttony a pat on the back to comfort him after asking. Gluttony twitched his nose a bit at Dolly as he relaxed a bit after not being asked about Dante.

 “You don’t smell human, but you don’t smell like homunculus. What are you?” Gluttony asked, now curious about what exactly Dolly is.

 “To be fair with you, I’m not sure either, I wish I knew. If I ever do find out though, I promise that I’ll tell you first.” Dolly replied as she clutched the backpack a bit. “Oh, okay, I’m sorry.” Gluttony said as he in turn pat Dolly on the back. “It's alright Gluttony, you’re a nice person.” Dolly said, smiling warmly to brighten things up on the most likely explosion hazard vehicle.

 Gluttony smiled at that for a bit as a small trinket-like sound ringed softly on the wood plank. Both Gluttony and Dolly looked down, ducking a bit to get a good look as a small silver nugget fell into the truck. “I wonder how it got here?” Dolly asked, perplexed a bit at where a silver nugget could’ve come from. “Maybe it was a bird?” Gluttony reasoned as he looked at the nugget of silver. “That’s a pretty good possibility..good thinking Gluttony.” Dolly agreed with Gluttony, siding with the bird theory.

 It was a good thing that both Gluttony and Dolly had ducked when they did to observe the mystery nugget of silver when the roof to the truck came flying off. The creaking rusted sheet of metal went flying, taking down a few trees before it came to a stop. The familiar sound of silence had returned as Dolly and Gluttony stared vacantly at their narrow escape from the wrathful roof. There was a commotion in the front at the sudden runaway roof as Lust poked her head up from the opening. “Gluttony, Dolly, are you two alright!?” Lust asked frantically as she did the check up, Greed was frozen a bit at the fact they were in an actively decomposing car. “I’m okay, we found a silver nugget.” Gluttony said, trying to avoid thinking of the near painful decapitation that almost took place as Dolly gave the thumbs up on being alright.

 “Seriously, I want to not explode, Envy!” Greed yelled out, their avaricious nature screaming for self preservation. “You’re a homunculus, you’ll be fine with a little explosion and you have the ultimate armor. Also it’s a boon to our target, he now has a sunroof to this miserable truck.” Envy dismissed Greed, all their fucks having gone away quite a while ago. “Carbon is a highly flammable and explosive element, Envy.” Greed said, not liking the idea of being the most combustible member in this truck of horrors. Envy just shrugged as they kept driving the truck to their pick up point, a bit of themself wishing the damn thing would explode just to watch Greed toil in the inferno. Because Greed didn’t want to be going through a horrific cycle of constant burning and explosions, he willingly gave directions to the meet up point as they pulled up to a clearing off a dirt road. The moment the disaster truck had stopped, Greed was the first in getting out and clutching the earth beneath him. It was a relief to Lust to finally be out of that truck as Envy just casually walked out of there like it was just a simple Sunday drive. Gluttony and Dolly were more than happy to get out of the back of the truck, Gluttony getting to keep the tiny shiny nugget of silver. “Freddy is going to have a meltdown when he sees this…” Dolly said, taking in the view of the now roofless truck. “He should be grateful that he got an upgrade on this miserable machine.” Envy sneered as they prompted themself to the side of the tree. “You’re a MONSTER, Envy!” Greed finally got to say as he stopped worshiping the stable ground of the earth. “Well, it looks like you learned nothing from being sealed up.” Envy calmly replied, clearly wearing the monster label proudly. Gluttony was showing Lust the silver nugget that was found as Dolly realized how long Dorian had been in the bag for. Feeling the backpack rustling about, Dolly looked at Lust as she clearly was the least volatile. A need had to be met and Dolly took the risk on Dorian’s behalf.

 “Excuse me, Lust? Would it be alright if I looked around in the woods for a bit?” Dolly asked as she kept the backpack full of rage clay calm. 

 Envy snapped their head around upon hearing that question, disturbing all with how quick the reaction was. Dropping the Freddy disguise for their preferred form, Envy started marching over to Dolly with their bitter eyes looking right at her. Lust had no time to answer as Envy went to fill in the answer for Lust.

[namistrella]

how can i resist? 🛒  👀 🤗 

Thanks for the ask! Sorry, this is so long!! I got a bit carried away. What can I say? They’re good questions :)

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Oooh I love this question. One of my favorite things to include, particularly in longer fics, are scenes doused in liminality. I'm a little bit obsessed with the idea of it. I keep coming back to liminal spaces, scenes at the threshold of the past and the future, at points in the story where characters have to make a critical choice. For example, in Love Laid Bare (which I swear I haven’t abandoned!) that scene happens in chapter 2 in the empty parking lot outside the diner, at dusk. Simon paces back and forth, having a grand moment of introspection, and he’s waiting for Baz to show up, but isn’t sure if he’s going to go with him or not. (Tiny unimportant spoiler here) He ultimately makes the choice to get in the car with Baz, which kickstarts his arc and the rest of the story. It's a scene that takes place in a classic liminal space (empty parking lot), at the threshold between day and night, and marks a turning point in Simon's life.

Another favorite theme of mine is the idea of second chances. Second chances at love with the right person, second chances at life, second chances at learning and growing and becoming a better person and doing things right the next time around. People, in reality, make a lot of mistakes. So do my characters—and I love to let them make good on the opportunities to fix them!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh god I have so many wips, but none of them (with the exception of LLB that is published, but incomplete) are snowbaz. The two biggest projects I’m working on right now are:

1. An angsty Yuri on Ice fic:

Yuuri quit skating at 18 after he was partially responsible for an on-ice accident that brutally injured Victor’s knee, which never healed enough and eventually forced Victor to quit, too. They find each other ten years later in Michigan, where Yuuri is now a medical resident and Victor manages an ice rink. Victor convinces Yuuri to get back into skating, and they compete against each other in the Adult Figure Skating Championships. They’re well matched against each other, even though Yuuri’s out of practice and Victor’s got his bad knee and hardly anyone even watches the adult competitions and they’re both getting a little old to be jumping around like they used to :) Throughout the fic, Yuuri struggles to let himself fall in love again, both with the sport and with Victor, but he figures it out in the end.

2. A series of three long (20k+ each), interconnected one-shots for Haikyuu:

They’re all in a similar style as All The Things We Don’t Mean, with a nonlinear narrative and short, punchy scenes. Lots and lots of angst across the board, of all different kinds. One is published already here. The second installment, which I’m working on now, follows a different pairing from the first. They were high school sweethearts, but after about ten years, when neither of them is happy, they realize that maybe the reason things are so hard is because neither of them had time to grow on their own. They got together so young and have hardly spent any time apart. So they break up, and the fic starts there, and works through the way they grow apart and change and find themselves and then find their way back together, all of it interspersed with flashback glimpses into the way they fell in love in the first place.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I would say, just go for it! Start writing! Post that first fic, even though it's not perfect. Write what you like and want to see more of, even if it's not everyone's cup of tea.

When I first started, I spent way too much time reading and re-reading my own fics, trying to see them the way everyone else might see them, and trying to make them palatable to everyone. I was SO scared of getting my first negative comment, and worrying about that took a lot of the fun out of writing. Spoiler alert: it's not possible to please everyone, and everyone gets negative comments sometimes, and the level of engagement with your fics (comments, kudos, shares, etc) will go up and down no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what brings you joy!

On a more practical note, I would also recommend finding people you can swap writing with—either as a formal “you both beta each other’s fics” kind of a thing, or as an informal “hey let’s sprint together and share some snippets as we go” or “hey look at this scene I wrote that I think was really good/that I think needs some work”. External feedback is extremely valuable for improving as a writer, but I’ve found it to be way more fun (and less scary, and often more helpfully targeted to what you want and need) when that feedback comes from people you already trust and who know your writing style and likes and dislikes and strengths and weaknesses.

Asks here

[decholmes]

                    D A K S H         “D E C “      H O L M E S

Name: Daksh Declan ‘Dec’ Holmes Nickname: Dec (pronounced deck) Age: 33 Birthday: November 1st Zodiac: Scorpio Occupation: Magician Hometown: Vancouver, Canada. Current Location: Gastown Sexuality: Bisexual Relationship Status: Single

BIOGRAPHY.

tw: adoption

tl;dr

adopted son of two actors that dedicated their lives to charity work

was a bit of an outcast who loved writing and magic at a young age but typically didn’t let that bother him due ot the fact that he focused solely on his family life / hobbies

went to school for teaching english and wanted to become a famous fiction writer, flunked out of uni, became a magician instead

has a very romanticized ideal of the world he lives in

Adopted at a very young age, Daksh -- who prefers to be called ‘Dec’ -- always grew up in a world of imagination and curosity. Childless and desperate to give children a chance as a great life, his adoptive parents went on to adopt once again (his youngest sister). Dec’s parents were actors in their own right, volunteering any chance they could to bring joy to those less fortunate -- at Renaissance faires with charity shows, at shelters seasonally as Mr. & Mrs. Claus during the holiday season, etc.

In turn, Dec always strived to give back. While not as graceful as his parents, he grew up with a love for magic and writing, often spending his days curating shows for school talent competitions. Of course, this came with its own set of challenges given he was seen as somewhat of a nerd, an outsider, but Dec continued to keep a good head on his shoulders and a stride in his step. He tried out for a bunch of sports, but ultimately fell short as a bench warmer for the football team.

With the hopes of becoming an English teacher, he went on to college and pursued an English degree. In that time he attempted to write a sci-fi fiction series that ultimately fell flat on its face with dozens upon dozens of rejections letters. When it came down to his degree, he fell short there as well -- as the mantra ‘those who cannot do, teach’ went literally, and he couldn’t even teach.

So he became a magician.

Taking the skills he loved so dearly as a child, he started under the pseudonym ‘The Mysterious Holmes’ and created a name for himself in the entertainment industry. While no David Blaine, he often books birthday parties and corporate events to keep the money coming. Otherwise he lives a very boring, very subdued lifestyle where much of everything is romanticized.

Dec always finds himself at the wrong place, wrong time, but somehow comes out unscathed every time due to the fact that he’s an overly chatty man with relatively earnest intentions.

PERSONALITY

+ kind, imaginative - absent, paranoid

FUN FACTS.

bisexual but only has ever had two relationships in his life that he got dumped on both times because he lived in the clouds

carries around a copy of war & peace to ward off bad energy.

a nice person when he's not royally doing stupid shit in life.

secretly owned a lizard named Benedict Cumberbatch in the college dorms and still has him at his apartment to this day.

believes mothman is real. don't fight him on this.

typically a lover, not a fighter. he isn’t one to fwb or date around as he’s searching for ‘the one’ and truly believes he’ll know them when he sees them

tried to join an adult football sports teams but bless his heart, he really isn't good at sports so he's still the bench guy.

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

adopted younger brother - mal holmes

roommate & flirtationship - deandre thompson jr

close friend & part-time assistant - jas pelletier

friend & tinder match - sawyer harris

childhood friend / former crush - gabriela cortes

personal trainer - kasey lambert

close friend & bad/good influence - hiten mosaad

tinder match - zara harris

WANTED CONNECTIONS

friends who he grew up with in vancouver

business associates that hire him out for their kids’ parties or corporate happenings

the two exes he had? but he doesn’t really remember what happened in them, but he just genuinely romanticizes what they had so it’s not great

people who push him out of his comfort shell

neighbors

his adopted sibling! currently a sister but can be changed depending

literally anything idc he’s cute

[multistoty]

@three-sons​

Ben would be lying if he were to say that he wasn’t intrigued by the man across from him as southern draw wrote stories at the edges of his lips in an endearing and alluring sort of way.He was a mess of onyx hair, emerald glittering eyes, and bitten lips, beautiful in a way only broken things could be. For all of the heirs here were certainly that. People forced into adulthood before their time expected to superhumanly handle everything of an empire. They were happy.Invite the lie to play until you become so comfortable with it that it feels like the truth. And he wasn’t complaining about the finer points, but there was always an opportunity cost and that had to encompass the loss of actual parental care and interest beyond legacy and dollar signs.The air was full of salt and secrets as power players threw around their weight.Everything’s was a game with these types of people.The only thing you get to decide in this life is if you play to win.As awful as it sounds, money is power, and power is magnetic.The more complicated a person’s strategy seemed, the less likely an opponent was to look for simple answers. If you could keep someone looking at your knight, you could take them with a pawn. Look past the details. Past the complications. Duke looked like a freshly woken storm, or a beautiful nightmare come to life so he could personally haunt him. And he was used to being in charge of love, but just a look and a listen to his accented verbage had made him begin to pine.Everyone had things they found inexplicably attractive. Apparently, for Ben Prometheus it was suit-wearing, green-eyed guys using the word ‘empirically’ and taking for granted that he knew what it meant.He didn't move, didn't blink, wasn't physically aggressive in any way, but he bled power, and he knew it.What fun is it playing by other people's rules? The morality of an action depends, ultimately and only, on its outcomes.Words are such unpredictable creatures.No gun, no sword, no army or king will ever be more powerful than a sentence. Swords may cut and kill, but words will stab and stay, burying themselves in our bones to become corpses we carry into the future, all the time digging and failing to rip their skeletons from our flesh.Hope.It's like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It's a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it's the only thing in the world keeping him afloat. His eyes are professional pickpockets as he leans further back into the grand chairs of the fancy gala. Failing to remember any other goal then attempting to woo the most handsome man he had ever seen or at least pique his interest. Every butterfly in the world has migrated to her stomach.“Heads, I kiss you. Tails, you kiss me. And either way, it means something.” Ben grinned as the words fell from his upturned mouth without parachutes. They had been brushing eachother far closer than necessary for the last few minutes and he smelled like spice and sweetness in a way that felt alluring and begged you to look beyond the surface. Still, the words gave a chance for consent. He also may or may not have elegantly swiped it from where he had been fiddling with it. “It would be a real shame for you to be sitting here alone when your mind is as lovely as your facial features. Thank goodness that I am here to keep you company, my beacon.”

[rainebowkitty]

saw ur ask thing

u know what I'm gonna say

A-

I THINK THIS IS THE POST THIS ASK WAS MEANT FOR AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO IT A YEAR OR SO LATER LMFAO I'M SO SORRY MARO

Answers under cut cuz they're all kinda long ^^

First impression: Too cool for school tbh. Like the best comparison I have for it is hearing people hype up the quarterback for like a high school football team in a movie and thinking to yourself, "He's an idiot, isn't he?" The kinda guy that's liked for the shallowest of reasons—either his looks or what he can get people rather than his skills or personality. Perhaps not a fraud... but not all that impressive either. This is all cuz of how he was introduced before his teasers came out. All we had to judge him off of was all the other characters' talking him up in their voice lines, so before he actually dropped, I was just sitting there thinking to myself god, is he really all that they're making him out to be or is it the fact that Mondstadt has no mandatory education program? I was sure I wouldn't be caught in his web.

Impression now: Well, I dropped $100 on him back in the day during his first banner, so I think we all know what I thought of him after I actually got the chance to MEET him

Favorite moment: God that's a toughie tbh... I know you hate that all of his appearances are limited events but I personally LOVE that fact because it means that everyone who's never played the game just hearing people talk him up probably all have the same first impression that I did LMAO. But if I have to pick a moment... well... "Destroy Mondstadt, destroy everything." is PROBABLY when I fell in love with him? Just realizing how lonely and isolated he is because he didn't know how to connect with people is so relatable too, and with the addition of Dragonspine at the time when we were bone dry for content? Yeah, I think that's gotta be my fave moment, though him stabbing his double was pretty hot too LMFAO

Idea for a story: I have this really goofy (but also angsty at the right times) story in my drafts that I never finished where Diluc and Kaeya have to actually get along with each other for once to Sus Out his Susiness™

Unpopular opinion: This is more of a headcanon than anything, but do you guys ever think that his modesty originates from a rather forced place? Like I imagine he was super cold and unemotional about most things while with Rhinedottir, just solely thinking about his own efficiency and results more than his feelings. So what if he wasn't always the kind of guy to gently brush off any declarations of him being a genius? What if, before he started uncovering the natural beauty of the world for what it is rather than what it gets him, he wasn't very good at gracefully accepting compliments? Someone would say he's good at something and he responds with a toneless, "Naturally." I mean, to back this up, his vision story quite literally says he was not surprised to receive one. Maybe Timaeus was the ultimate test when it came to having patience with the slower people in a similar field as him LMFAO

Favorite relationship: Kaebedo for life.

...Wait, you mean canonically? Fine then, him being Klee's big brother is my favorite thing ever. Being pen pals with Scara is pretty great too though LMFAO ty Irodori festival

Favorite headcanon: In that story I have in my drafts, I have a part where he practically dives under a table to grab a snack—said snack being a spider. Or maybe the one where Klee gets into the habit of doing his braids for him. Or maaaaybe the one where Rhinedottir just left him all alone to figure it out on his own one day because she realized she was actively hindering him from becoming as human as she'd like him to be with her frigid teachings and meticulous nature. Because if he's not human enough, he's a failure, of course.

Anyway... That was a lot LMAO. Sorry for typing so much and to anyone who read this, I hope you enjoyed LMFAO

[minzart]

Now I'm curious about the rest of the students who hopped on to the “our dear little host~” trend? (Leona? Jade&Floyd? Jamil? Lilia? Oh god what about Rook??) Also how would Arthuro act if he was on NRC Host (I headcannon that he's the person who sent the anonymous letter if he was in this AU xD)

Riddle

He thinks it's how they are suposed to refer to Yuu for now on, it's a more endearing nick name than "radio host" that's for sure

He when after Malleus, the circle repeats this week, so you can imagine how he's confused, then apologised, but inside HE'S DIEING TO SEE THOSE CHEEKS FLUSH AGAIN PLEASEEEE YOU'RE SO CUTE

In the end he finishes gets out of the house and- you guessed it!

Riddle felling cheeky tonight: that was a very pleasant conversation Yuu! Thank you for inviting me again

Yuu: it was nothing! I'm sorry chat called you strawberry boys btw, but it is a cute nick name and they won't let you scape it, belive me I tried

Riddle: all is forgiven. And Yuu

Yuu: Yes?

Riddle: sleep well... my dear littlr host

Yuu implodes and Riddle is giggling the hole way back to Heartslabyul

Deuce

Like Ace he joins in the bullying, YOU'RE JUST TOO CUTE WHEN EMBARASED XD

Cater

He's the mastermind behind the new #ourdearlittlehostmoments wich are compilations of all the times Yuu said embarrassing thing or acted baffled by something

He will tease Yuu one time per day in the chat and rise a wall of spam of DEAR LITTLE HOST DEAR LITTLE HOST DEAR LITTLE HOST! When Yuu is acting too serious

Trey

If Yuu visits Heartslabyul and stay too long alone with Trey, he'll be precise~ when he hear footsteps close enough

He's whispers in Yuu ear "I hope you appreciate this dessert... my dear little host"

Yuu will implode in a pink puff and people will walk in becoming extremely confused bc Yui is trying to compose themselfs while Trey is wearing his most innocent face

Leona

No shame at all call's Yuu much dear littel shot the hole time he's there, he usualy sends Rughie bc he's too lazy to go BUT THAT WAS A DECLARATION OF WAR, and a free chance to fluster Yuu is always welcome~

Literaly purrs the frase out you can se chat basicaly beting Who will snap first to initiate the kiss dear host or purring boy? "Just make out already!" Makes Leona laugh so hard he falls out of teh chair

Ruggie

Teases Yuu when in public spaces but is careful to only both hear it, loves their reaction so much, that his revenge for "donut boy"

Jack

He only uses it in the show, he doesn't tease Yuu with it during the day, but you can see his tail wagging when he got a reaction from Yuu during radio time

Idia

He joins in the #ourdearlittlegostmoments

Probably uses without thinking when he was forced by Ortho to participate in persson

Both are blushing messes by the end and chat found a new victim to mess with

He does not have the guts to use the name on purpose, he doe suse "our dear little host: but "my"? My is just too much for him. Chat had to donated to make him say "My deat dear little host" and his attempt is golden to this day, more flustered than Yuu

Ortho

The most innocent one right with Kalim, he's just joining the fun! Prefect looks so happy and they said he's cute saying it too!

Rook

Somebody help Yuu, Rook is doing poetry with that nickname

Yuu knows very well who is sending that one ginormous post with flowery lenguage in the #ourdearlittlehost tag, they know it's you hunteroflove, honestly Rook can try to tease Yuu but Yuu has the ultimate weapon! NEIGE LEBLANC VOICE LINES

Yuu calls him Simp and chat loves it so much he's one of the faves just bc it's very easy to pick on him if you know what to use

Epel

Joing Ace and Deuce, he's adoring how easy Yuu is to fluster, gremling having a good time

Lilia

Greats Yuu by My dear little host each time he has to pass by Hamshackle, ah the false of youth, look at those rosy cheeks

Silver

Had no Idea what the fuck was going on and uses bc he thinks is appropriate bc of Yuu's friend doing it ONLY TO MELT YUU OH SEVEN WHAT DID HE DO???

Sebek

Does not uses it, and refuses to do so, but Acea, Deuce and Epel uses so often blows his vow once or twice

Arthuro

HEADCANON ACCEPTED

He's mad bc he didn't used "my" first, wished he knew who dear host was and how to participate in the radio, Yuu's voice is just so cute and their reactions even cuter~

He thanks the seven that he has a friend that discovered NRC radio station in it's early days, it's very useful to know what the other school's up to, and the tea ofcourse, his favorite was that one time someone spiked the teaches drinks and they all become rowdy kids, the students had to pursue them around the school, it was his best prank to this day~ and one of Yuu's best narratives too

Is over the moon when Ambrose asks him to participated he makes a show to pronounce "My~ dear little host" prefers not to say it was him who created the nick name, that's his little secret and guilty pleasure

[akatsuki-shin]

REVIEW: 千秋 Qiān Qiū (Thousand Autumns)

Recently finished reading Thousand Autumns, so I’d like to share my thoughts on it with everyone~ ^w^

Note(s):

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience

Summary:

“Thousand Autumns” is a danmei novel written by Meng Xi Shi. A wuxia story with profound cultivation elements that makes it close to the xianxia genre, it was published between 2015-2016 on Jinjiang Literature City (JJWXC), consisting of 128 chapters and 13 extra stories.

During a battle with the disciple of his late master’s archrival, leader of the number one Daoist sect under heaven, Shen Qiao, was thoroughly defeated in an unforeseen turn of events before the eyes of his fellow sect members and observers from the entire jianghu. He fell from great heights and sustained almost fatal injuries, losing not only his martial arts, his sight, his reputation, but also his memories.

By the twist of fate, the one who discovered him in his near-death state was the Demonic Sovereign Yan Wushi, the fearsome yet renowned leader of a notorious demonic sect.

Heartless, arrogant, untrusting to everyone but himself, the sole reason Yan Wushi took an interest in Shen Qiao was only because he wanted to see how this righteous, kindhearted man would fall into despair and succumb to evil after losing everything. Thus he ordered his disciple to bring Shen Qiao back to their residence and nursed him to health, so that he could toy with him afterwards.

What he did not expect, however, behind the gentle and seemingly gullible nature of Shen Qiao was a heart as strong as steel and ironclad will that refused to be bent, even in the most perilous predicaments.

---------

STORY: 7/10

Subtle, yet solid plot development with smooth story-telling.

The story flows almost like a calm river with occasional “ripples” in between where the conflicts happened. Heavier turbulence and secrets were revealed little by little one after another instead of being thrown straight to our faces since the beginning, with the biggest ones being saved to appear in the latter part of the story, slowly roping in the curious readers to follow the characters’ journey until the final resolution.

Personally speaking, I feel that the overall plot lacks intensity that could “bind” people’s hearts to stay for a binge-reading. Most parts are way too stable that it becomes a flaw, there were no mind-boggling plot twists. However, this was made up by the progressive development and fulfilling resolutions.

“Karmic cycle” is certainly one of the main themes of this story. In the beginning, we could see Shen Qiao doing good things after good things but all went unrewarded; his generosity responded with mockery, his kindness returned with betrayal, not to mention those who took advantage of his misfortunes to benefit themselves. But when he finally seemed to have arrived at a dead end, an unexpected hand came to lend him a hand and gave him another chance in life.

To be specific, yes, I am referring to how Shen Qiao gave his last remaining food to a starving refugee boy, allowing the boy to survive, and the said boy latter saved him from the brink of death after he destroyed his meridians to fight Sang Jingxing due to Yan Wushi’s betrayal. This was probably the most moving part in the entire novel for me. And starting from that point onwards, he continuously met friends and allies who admired him and were willing to help him whenever he was in need, because they already saw with their own eyes what kind of person Shen Qiao was.

The same situation also befell those whose conducts are the opposite to Shen Qiao. Arrogant villains like Sang Jingxing and Chen Gong ultimately lost their lives, possibly in the most humiliating way according to their standard—one was betrayed by the female disciple he had (cruelly) nurtured for years, the other was stabbed by a seemingly powerless little boy after having continuously took advantage of people’s situation for his own gain.

Other than reward and punishment, redemption also comes to the right characters who deserve it, namely those who are willing to look back and see the mistakes they have made. Yu Ai had committed an unforgivable aggression by betraying his own martial brother to advance his agenda, convoluting with the enemy and poisoning Shen Qiao which was the root and beginning of the latter’s misfortune. But he was not inherently evil and his intention was born from a desire to protect Mount Xuandu. Though he had made a great mistake, after experiencing himself the consequences of his decision, he returned and died to shield Shen Qiao from the real traitor, ultimately mending their relationship despite the bitter ending.

Yan Wushi, as one of the two main characters, naturally has a more apparent redemption. His arrogance was paid with (almost) dying at the hands of his enemies, him cruelly toying with Shen Qiao was paid with his life being saved by the very same man he betrayed. I think the part where his “Xie Ling” personality showed up, particularly when he crawled on the floor begging for Shen Qiao not to leave him, was humiliating enough for a man like him since we know the real Yan Wushi remembered what his other personalities did during that period.

What goes around comes around. The goods are rewarded and the bads are punished, either by fate or someone else’s hands. All the conflicts that appeared from the beginning are resolved properly, leaving no loose ends except for one little part: Yan Wushi’s past.

Originally, I didn’t think whatever past Yan Wushi has would become something significant to the current plot. One might wonder why he grew up to be someone with such a pessimistic outlook towards life, unable to believe anyone but himself and thinking that all humans are born evil, yet whether there is or there isn’t a reason for this, it wouldn’t change the present story. However, since it was shown by Xie Ling that he once possessed some innocence, and that at one point in his life he discarded the name “Xie Ling” to become “Yan Wushi”, the fact that there are barely any explanations on this made it felt like a tiny plot hole.

Other than that, the development and establishment of the main pairing, Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi, are very well written. 128 chapters are long, and the author made use of this story length properly. Nothing feels too rushed or unnecessarily prolonged for no reason. In short, it’s balanced and enjoyable to follow.

There is another aspect of the story that I quite like. It is the fact that the author was able to incorporate her fiction into a real history setting, even including actual historical figures to the plot. I also admire the wide comprehension the author possessed on the elements used to build the story’s universe. They could fully implement the concept and principles of Daoism, Buddhism, Confucianism, as well as the cultures and habits of people from the era when the story took place to create intriguing disputes and events throughout the novel. Although I am not an expert on this topic, I believe this could not be done without sufficient research and understanding into said topics.

CHARACTERS: 10/10

Just like the plot itself that flows calmly, the characters themselves did not seem to possess any “explosive” qualities that would be able to cause surprise. However, this is exactly why the characters fit so well into the story. Each and every single one of them, from the main characters to the minor/side characters have their respective roles and they played these roles accordingly, receiving just the right amount of spotlight based on how crucial their presence was. The biggest emphasis always lies with the main characters, but the side characters are not easily forgotten and the mob characters properly supported the situation instead of being annoying.

The characters’ interactions and thoughts are all perfectly in line with their roles and personality with a good amount of humor every now and then, enough to entertain but does not ruin the current mood or distract readers from the actual point being made.

Going further, there is no question that Shen Qiao has become one of my favorite characters among all danmei I’ve read so far. While he seems too “perfect” at a glance, I must applaud the author for being able to write this kind of person without making him look like a Gary Stu. He is kind and gentle, yet despite still retaining some of his gullible nature, he has integrity and is always clear about what he could and could not do. He would help others to the best of his ability, but he would not do anything that is against his principles. Even though his temper is good and his heart is magnanimous, he is not bothered by doubt to exact justified punishment to those who deserve it, such as Huo Xijing and Tan Yuanchun.

Seeing his effort and conduct, it is hard not wanting to cheer for him because he is really just that admirable. The return of his martial arts was so moving, considering all the hardships he’d gone through throughout the story. His growth was subtle, but it becomes clear when the moment comes. Like this, the positive comments made by the mob characters on him are in line with the readers’ impression on his character, so we are not being “directed” to see him as a good person. Instead, the mob characters’ comment only served as a confirmation that he was indeed a good person just as I have been thinking while following his journey.

There are many good characters out there, but one like Shen Qiao was probably quite rare.

Yan Wushi, on the other hand, was the polar opposite of Shen Qiao. He is manipulative to the core and always seeks to benefit himself and/or his sect. He is heartless and constantly looks down on others, having no compassion in the slightest bit. In fact, he enjoyed watching the suffering of other people, as evidently shown by how he played with Shen Qiao and betrayed him in such a humiliating way by handing him over to Sang Jingxing in exchange for a sword—one that he himself doesn’t really care about.

But if we look a little closer, he is actually similar to Shen Qiao, just that he stood at the other end of the spectrum. He is viciously honest and will not sugarcoat anything, clearly stating his likes and dislikes. He is arrogant, but this confidence is backed by actual skills, and he is aware if something is beyond his capability. At the same time, he will not shy away from difficult situations and face everything head on.

After his feelings for Shen Qiao changed, a lot of people may still consider him as someone manipulative who is taking advantage of Shen Qiao’s innocence, but I personally do not think so. After his view changed, all of his tricks (verbal and actions) are generally harmless in which it was just meant to tease and flirt. I think this is the only way that Yan Wushi knows how to love someone. He is a strategist and this trait he brought into his personal relationships as he would always test the water first to know how far he could go and when to pull back. And of course, he could also behave seriously when the time calls for it and Shen Qiao willingly accepts this person while knowing this.

For Yan Wushi it can only be Shen Qiao and for Shen Qiao, it can only be Yan Wushi. If I were to put it into words, I believe the scene they shared by the lake just before Yan Wushi’s battle with Hulugu was more than enough proof to show their feelings for one another.

With all that said, Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi have a good relationship dynamic. From their first encounter until the establishment of their feelings, the development is subtle but consistent, moving forward at the right pace.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 7/10

The descriptions of environments are vivid and beautiful. The way scenes and actions are being described makes it easy for readers to visualize. It is especially exciting whenever a battle is involved, especially one like the scene when Shen Qiao had to battle two elders of the Hehuan sect while protecting two children at the same time to escape the city. Through words, the intensity and exhaustion coming from the battlefield can be properly conveyed to the readers while at the same time, the smooth story-telling makes it easy to follow the plot without worrying too much about missing some details.

There are a couple of technical issues that I would like to address. Nothing major, to be honest, but probably worth mentioning.

In regards to descriptions in the narrative, while the use of imagery is beautiful, I feel that it is a bit excessive, particularly during battle scenes. Imageries could help to describe how powerful the characters are, but if used too much, it only ends up blurring the actual actions being done. After all, if every swing of sword and fist could “bring down the mountain and split the sea”, the jianghu would have fallen into ruin after the first three battles.

Information on people, groups, and certain terms are often all over the place with no clear structure, especially in the earlier parts. Sometimes, explanations are placed during inappropriate timing/location and end up slightly disturbing the set mood.

A few character introductions are also insufficient. Very often, a new character would just appear and have their name mentioned in the narration without prior introduction or hint as if the readers are expected to already know who was speaking. There are too many info dumps towards the latter part of the story on characters whose roles actually are not that significant. Because of this, it looks as if they are important characters although in reality, they might only appear for 1-2 chapters at most (e.g. Shen Qiao’s third disciple).

Furthermore, there are repetitive explanations/reiterations of things already elaborated multiple times before, becoming extremely redundant.

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10

A beautiful story of two different people who find their soulmate in each other’s existence, a lesson that there is good in evil, as much as there is evil in good.

Thousand Autumns is a classic wuxia with gentle, yet solid flow that is enjoyable to follow. The chapters might be rather long, but the plot itself is not too heavy with intriguing main characters and many likable supporting roles.

It might be a bit difficult for those who aren’t familiar with Chinese novels of this genre to digest the narration, what’s with the strings of idioms, imageries, and topics heavily referencing Chinese history and cultures, but other than that, it’s a very satisfying story overall.

In fact, had it not been for this, I would've said that Thousand Autumns is quite a great start to those who want to start reading danmei novels.

[shinidamachu]

I need some Inuyasha as a great father (more like DILF, amirite?) headcanons, can you help me out?

I'm here to serve!

• It isn’t until they’re happily married for at least one or two years that the possibility of children are brought up.

• At first, they took that time to relearn each other, enjoy their company and make the honeymoon phase last a little long. They did spend three years apart, after all. There’s so much time to make up for, so many catching up to do before they’d even think to throw a kid into the mix. Plus, being a modern woman, Kagome would know how to avoid pregnancy the best her new circumstances allowed and how important that time alone is for a newly-married couple.

• They never actually had the child talk because Kagome just assumed that’s where their relationship would naturally lead to, given her motherly tendencies and Inuyasha’s history of ultimately giving her everything she wants. For his part, Inuyasha knew she wanted to be a mother someday and he'd be lying if he said he never indulged the fantasy of fathering her children. However, he has serious trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that, in reality, Kagome would still be up for it if he were to be the father. He could never dare to ask of her more than she has already given him. Be that as it may, it was not a big deal because it was not a dealbreaker. Nothing was.

• But with time, Kagome would have noticed how good Inuyasha is with Hisui and the Mirsan twins. How his relationship with Shippo had developed from a sibling banter to a makeshift paternal relationship. How people like Shiori and Bunza would look up to him like he was some kind of movie hero. How every kid in the village seemed to adore him despite his grumpy demeanor.

• And Inuyasha would have noticed the way Kagome would look at him whenever he so much as interacted with a child, the way her smell would spike significantly.

• She, of course, was the one to make the first move, jumping him one night, after they had spend the whole day stuck with babysitting the Mirsan children and popping the question.

• Inuyasha was relutant. There was a part of him that was adamant on making her happy and even believed having babies would make him happy too. On the other hand, he was terrified. Terrified of how her body would react to childbirth, of if her spiritual powers would accept his demonic energy. But mostly, about what would happen once the baby was born. The last thing he wanted was for Kagome to go through everything his mother had to go through. Or for another kid to face the same prejudice he did. Besides, he grew up with no father figure whose steps he could follow. He didn’t know how to be a father.

• Kagome assures him that they won’t have a baby until they’re both ready and on the same page, that they have time and that Inuyasha will be a great father.

• Inuyasha believes her.

• Then it is him felling some type of way whenever he sees Kagome around kids. And something deep inside desperately wishes to find out what would their children look like, what would it be like to hold and take care of someone born from their love.

• Finally, he caves.

• Inuyasha wants a big family, considering how lonely his childhood was. Kagome finds it pivotal for their first-born to have a sibling, since she had Sota and their relationship was one of the most important things in her life. That’s why they’d have two children minimum, preferably a boy and a girl. However, giving how dangerous and uncomfortable childbirth can be, especially without the perks the modern era provides, I don’t think they’d have more than three.

• Naturally, Inuyasha relies on Miroku for advice and the latter is more helpful than not. Except for the times Inuyasha asks or says something that makes it way too easy for Miroku to mess with him. Like the time he told Inuyasha that if he doesn’t get Kagome whatever food she craves while pregnant, the baby will be born looking exactly like that food. And Inuyasha believed him.

• And if you thought Inuyasha was protective of Kagome before... oh boy! He’d be almost overbearing, but Kagome would see it as endearing. Most of the time. Sometimes, though, a woman has got to have her privacy. He also becomes more attentive, more gentle, sweeter.

• After their first child is born, Inuyasha gets a makeover of sorts. He’s always borrowing the Fire Rat to Kagome and the baby anyway, so he figured it’d be more practical to just pass the clothes on to them already and get something new for himself.

• It’s white.

• Inuyasha becomes taller, stronger. And often lets Kagome experiment with his hair with braids, top nots... and ponytails.

• Old Myoga is the first one to notice the resemblance. And it’s true. He’s the spitting image of Toga. Former enemies and allies often mistaken him for Toga and Kagome thinks the look on their (and Inuyasha’s) face is hilarious.

• Sesshoumaru does not care for it (I stole this one from @heavenin--hell).

• Inuyasha hates his human nights even more because now his vulnerability also means he might not be able to protect his family as he usually would (Together Changed by @goshinote and @lostinfantasyworlds inspired this one). Plus, the black hair and lack of dog ears confuses the baby, who cries and fusses for a good while until realizing it is, in fact, Inuyasha holding them (this one I saw in an adorable fanart I can’t find).

• But since he needs way less sleeping than humans and he spends the New Moons up anyway, Inuyasha gets a lot of quality time with their infant at night, which allows Kagome to actually get a good night sleep unless the baby is hungry.

• The Beads of Subjugation get dooled and chewed on. A lot.

• A little contest takes place between Kagome and Inuyasha about what the first word of their first child would be, with Kagome going for “dada” and Inuyasha going for “mama.”

• Kagome wins.

• Inuyasha’s fighting style changes. He still says some snarky remarks, but now it’s more to push his opponent‘s buttons down so they would get sloppy than anything else. After all, he has a child to think about and provide for now. He doesn’t have the luxury of gambling with his life anymore. He has a home to come back to and therefore won’t be taking any chances (credit to @born-for-eachother for this one).

• And so he becomes more lethal on the battle field. Pragmatic. Objective. Calculating. Decisive. Cold blooded. Much like... Sesshomaru.

• He had never been more offended on his life than the day Sango pointed this out to him.

• When the kids grow up a bit, Inuyasha and Kagome start to tell them bedtime stories, with the PG version of the story about how the met and defeated Naraku being their favorite.

• Kagome tries to be a reliable and calm narrator while Inuyasha exaggerates the events and the voices, almost always breaking objects of their house in the process.

• After hearing one too many times about the Beads of Subjugation, their child tries to “sit” Inuyasha. Of course it doesn’t work, but he still makes a big deal out of throwing himself on the ground every time they say the word just to hear them laugh.

• The first actual toy Inuyasha buys them is a ball, just like the one he had as a kid, at the same time accomplishing a childhood wish through them and ensuring that they would always have someone to play with.

• Kagome is more protective of their physical state while Inuyasha is more protective of their emotional one (see Fist Fight by @omgitscharlie)

• Inuyasha goes to Totosai and asks him to make a weapon out of one of his fangs to each of their children once they get old enough for it. Not necessarily a sword, just something of their choice and that better fits their personality.

• He would be a just father, doing his best to show no favoritism, treat his children equally and make sure no one felt overlooked or unloved.

• But truth be told, if one of their babies turn out to be a daughter, he would definitelly let her get away with almost anything, no matter how much of a gremlin she is. Daddy’s little girl would have him wrapped around her tiny fingers.

• Life never treated Inuyasha kindly. From a very young age, it was kill or be killed. It wouldn't be too far off for him to think the exact same thing could happen with his kids, therefore he tries to prepare them, to tough them up so they can take it.

• And I believe this sentiment would be significantly amplified with a son, because it would involve the whole “suck it up”, “men don’t cry” and “man of the house” aspect of it. The “it is your duty to protect your mother and sister when I’m gone” too, especially because he couldn’t protect Izayoi himself.

• It’s “tough love”, but it’s love nonetheless. And in the right dose, which I believe Inuyasha manages to nail, it can be very important for one’s development and growth.

• But it’s hard to imagine him being as tough with a daughter. Probably because he sees so much of Kagome on her that the mere idea of seeing her cry simply breaks him.

• Kagome would actually have to step in when it comes to disciplining and saying “no”, because he simply wouldn’t have it in him to do so.

There’s actually a really nice post by @keichanz I reblogged a while ago discussing precisely that, but I can’t find it to save my life (should I start to properly tag my reblogs? No, it’s a lot of work and I’m right not to).

Anyway, that’s all I got for now.

Peace out.