#he is so pure and wise my tarnished was so happy to have him as a friend

[banditomojado]

This one hurt me and made me feel all warm and fuzzy at the same time.

[blackcatrph]

** evermore sentence starters.

willow.

“ i'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night. ”

“ you cut through like a knife. ”  

“ i never would have known from the look on your face. ” 

“ the more that you say, the less I know. ”

“ i'm begging for you to take my hand. ”  

“ life was a willow and it bent right to your wind. ”

“ i could feel you sneakin' in. ”

“ you are a mythical thing. ”  

“ i come back stronger than a '90s trend. ”

“ wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark. ”

“ show me the places where the others gave you scars. ”

“ anywhere else is hollow. ”  

champagne problems.

“ you booked the night train for a reason. ”

“ bustling crowds or silent sleepers, not sure which is worse. ”   

“ i dropped your hand while dancing. ”  

“ your mom's ring is in your pocket, my picture is in your wallet. ”

“ your heart was glass and I dropped it. ”

“ you told your family for a reason. ”

“ you couldn't keep it in. ”

“ no one's celebrating. ”

“ your hometown skeptics called it champagne problems. ”

“ love slipped beyond your reaches. ”

" this dorm was once a madhouse. "

“ don't think we'll say that word again. ”

“ sometimes you just don't know the answer. ”

" she would've made such a lovely bride. ”  

“ what a shame she's fucked in the head. ”

“ she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred. ”

gold rush.

“ eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting I almost jump in. ” 

“ i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. ”

“ everybody wants you. ”

“ everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. ”

“ i don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bones crush. ”

“ what must it be like to grow up that beautiful ? ”

“ i see me padding across your wooden floors. ”

“ it fades into the gray of my day-old tea. ”

“ it could never be. ”

“ my mind turns your life into folklore. ”

“ i can't dare to dream about you anymore. ”

“ the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure. ”

'tis the damn season.

“ If I wanted to know who you were hanging with while I was gone, I would have asked you. ”

“ it's the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass. but I felt it when I passed you. ”

“ there's an ache in you. ”

“ but if it's all the same to you, it's the same to me. ”

“ you could call me "babe" for the weekend. ”

“ the road not taken looks real good now. ”

“ the holidays linger like bad perfume. ”

“ you can run, but only so far. ”  

“ i escaped it too. ”

“ remember how you watched me leave ? ”

“ now I'm missing your smile. ”  

“ hear me out, we could just ride around. ”

“ i won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay. ”

“ i wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking. ”

“ the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own. ”

“ we could call it even, even though I'm leavin'. ”  

tolerate it.

“ i notice everything you do or don't do. ”

“ you're so much older and wiser. ”

“ if it's all in my head tell me now. ”

“ tell me I've got it wrong somehow. ”

“ i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it. ”

“ i greet you with a battle hero's welcome. ”

“ i take your indiscretions all in good fun. ”

“ while you were out building other worlds, where was I? ”

“ where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire? ”

“ i made you my temple, my mural, my sky. ”

“ i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life. ”

“ always taking up too much space or time. ”

“ you assume I'm fine. ”

“ what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins. ”  

“ took this dagger in me and removed it. ”

no body, no crime.

“ he did it. ”

" it smells like infidelity. ”

“ that ain't my merlot on his mouth. ”

“ i think I'm gonna call him out. ”

" i think he did it, but I just can't prove it. "

“ no body, no crime. ”

“ i ain't lettin' up until the day I die. ”  

“ his mistress moved in. ” 

“ there ain't no doubt. ”

“ somebody's gotta catch him out. ”

“ i've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene. ”

“ they think she did it, but they just can't prove it. ”  

“ i wasn't lettin' up until the day he died. ”

happiness.

“ i see this for what it is. ”

“ all the years I've given Is just shit we're dividin' up. ”

“ i can't face reinvention. ”

“ i haven't met the new me yet. ”

“ there'll be happiness after you. ”  

“ there was happiness because of you. ”

“ there is happiness past the blood and bruises. ”

“ haunted by the look in my eyes. ”

“ leave it all behind. ”  

“ tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? ”

“ when did all our lessons start to look like weapons? ”

“ i hope she'll be your beautiful fool. ”

“ no, I didn't mean that. ”

“ i can't see facts through all of my fury. ”  

“ there'll be happiness after me. ”

“ in our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise dappled with the flickers of light. ”

“ i can't make it go away by making you a villain. ”  

“ no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you. ”

“ now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head. ”

“ after giving you the best I had, tell me what to give after that? ”

dorothea.

“ do you ever stop and think about me?”

“ you got shiny friends since you left town. ”

“ i got nothing but well-wishes for you. ”

“ this place is the same as it ever was. ”

“ it's never too late to come back to my side. ”

“ the stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo. ”

“ and if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know, you'll always know me. ”

“ you'rе a queen sellin' dreams. ”

“ they all want to be you. ”

“ are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? ”

“ i guess I'll never know. ”  

coney island.

“ break my soul in two looking for you. ” 

“ if I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to? ”

“ did I close my fist around something delicate? ”

“ did I shatter you? ”

“ sorry for not making you my centerfold. ”

“ lost again with no surprises. ”  

“ it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down. ”

“ what's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? ”

“ you were too polite to leave me. ”

“ will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? ”

“ sorry for not winning you an arcade ring. ”

“ were you waiting at our old spot? ” 

“ did I leave you hanging every single day? ”

“ did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? ”

“ the sight that flashed before me was your face. ”

ivy.

“ i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones. ”

“ your touch brought forth an incandescent glow. tarnished, but so grand. ”

“ i just sit here and wait, grieving for the living. ”

“ my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand. ”

“ i can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland. ”

“ my house of stone, your ivy grows. and now I'm covered in you. ”

“ i wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed. ”

“ your opal eyes are all I wish to see. ”

“ clover blooms in the fields. ”  

“ what would he do if he found us out? ”

“ he's gonna burn this house to the ground. ” 

“ i'd live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time. ”

“ so tell me to run, or dare me to sit and watch what we'll become. ”

“ it's a goddamn blaze in the dark. ”

“ it's the goddamn fight of my life. ”

cowboy like me.

" dancin' is a dangerous game. "

“ now I know I'm never gonna love again. ”

“ i've got some tricks up my sleeve. ”

“ takes one to know one. ”

“ you're a cowboy like me. ”

“ i never wanted love, just a fancy car. ”  

“ i could be the way forward. ”

“ the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. ”

“ the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one. ”

“ now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. ”

“ forever is the sweetest con. ”  

long story short.

“ i tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me. ”

“ the knife cuts both ways. ”

“ if the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels break. ”

“ i fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole. ”

“ long story short, it was a bad time. ”

“ i always felt I must look better in the rear view. ”

“ missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to. ”

“ but if someone comes at us this time, I'm ready. ”

“ i wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things. ”

“ your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing. ”

“ rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky. ”

“ long story short, I survived. ”

marjorie.

“ never be so kind that you forget to be clever. ”

“ never be so clever that you forget to be kind. ”

“ what died didn't stay dead. ”

“ you're alive, so alive. ”  

“ never be so politе that you forget your power. ”

“ nevеr wield such power that you forget to be polite. ”

“ if I didn't know better I'd think you were listening to me now. ”

“ you loved the amber skies so much. ”

“ and if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now. ”

closure.

“ it's been a long time. ”

“ seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain. ”

“ it wasn't right, the way it all went down. ”

“ i got your letter. ” 

“ i know that it's over, I don't need your closure. ”

“ don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled. ”

“ i'm fine with my spite, my tears, my beers and my candles. ”

“ i know I'm just a wrinkle in your new life. ”

“ it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary. ” 

evermore.

“ i replay my footsteps on each stepping stone trying to find the one where I went wrong. ”

“ i was catching my breath. ”

“ i had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore. ”

“ I can't remember what I used to fight for. ”

“ you cannot think of all the cost and the things that will be lost. ”

“ can we just get a pause? ”

“ is there a line that I could just go cross? ”

“ when I was shipwrecked I thought of you. ”

“ in the cracks of light I dreamed of you. ”

“ it was real enough to get me through. ”

“ i swear you were there. ”

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

God's Works and Word

Scriptures: Psalms 19:1-2 Psalms 19:7-8

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge."

"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes."

We have two Bibles. One is written on the pages of nature - and the other on the pages of the inspired Word. In this Psalm, we have the summaries of the teaching of both.

In the earlier portion, the poet tells us about the teachings of the heavens : "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge." And if in David's days God's glory was declared in the heavens, how much more now, since the telescope has revealed such marvelous things about the extent of the starry world that were not known then! Only remember that nearly all the stars we see are suns, probably centers of systems of planets; and that those we see, are but the merest fraction of the actual number - only those that our telescopes can bring into view. The truth is, that there are millions of suns in the heavens, some of them so far from us that it takes thousands of years for light to come from them to us.

Anyone who has given even a little attention to the study of astronomy is prepared to appreciate the thought of this verse. The heavens declare the glory of God. Think what glories of the night there are - which the day hides! If our sun never set - we would never see the splendors of the heavens. A poet imagines our first parent watching the sun nearing the horizon the evening of his first day. He was in great terror as he thought of the sun sinking away - and leaving the world in darkness! But when the orb of day disappeared quietly, lo! a new universe had burst upon his vision. Night revealed far more than it hid!

Think of the power that called into being, such a multitude of worlds, and that sustains them age after age. Think of the wisdom that made such a universe of flying suns, planets, and comets, so perfectly adjusting their orbits and their motions - that they never clash in their orbits, that they move age after age, so that perfect harmony prevails among the spheres. Science, instead of being an enemy of religion, is its best friend. The more we learn of the marvelous things of God's world, the more do we see, for which to praise and adore the divine Maker and Sustainer.

This is true of all things in nature. There is more beauty in a single little flower - than in the finest work of art ever fashioned by human hand! From the minutest insects to the vast stars, every department of the universe declares the wisdom, the power, the goodness, the faithfulness of God. We ought to study nature more; it is one of God's books .

"Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge." Evermore, nature speaks of God. DAY has its glories, when in the sunshine we see the beauties of field, garden, mountain, valley, forest, river, flower, and plant. Then NIGHT comes, and instead of making desolation in the darkness, it unveils to us its marvelous splendor of sky and stars. Creation widens then, in man's view, and to a devout mind - everything speaks of God! There are spiritual revealings in all nature's pages - to him who has eyes.

Then the Psalm passes from the teachings in nature - to the revealings of the divine Word. The works of God declare His glory - but not His will. For this - we turn to His Word. We never could learn by study the stars, the flowers, or the rocks - how we ought to live; what is right and what is wrong, what will please God or displease Him. We never could learn what God Himself is, what His attributes are, how He feels toward us. We may learn from His works - that He is great, powerful, wise, unchanging, good; but we could not learn from the stars - that He loves us with a tender, personal affection, that He is merciful and gracious. We never could find a gospel of salvation for lost sinners - in the works of God. How thankful we should be for His Word, which tells us all these things!

"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes."

Here we have His law, revealed by His own Spirit. It teaches us how to live. It is a perfect law; not only perfect in that it is without flaw - but also in that it is complete as a revelation, containing all we need to know to be saved - and to reach the full stature of Christian men and women. We may turn to the Word of the Lord with every question of duty - and we shall always find the right answer!

Then, it is a beautiful statement also, of the ministry of the Word which we have. It revives the soul. Every human soul needs to be revived. It is ruined by sin; its beauty is tarnished, its grandeur is destroyed. The Word of God is able to build it up, to transform it, to revive the lost splendor, to bring back again the defaced image of God. We know the power the Word of God has over human lives. It first shows men that they are condemned and lost - as it holds up before them the requirements of the divine law. Next, it shows them the cross with its salvation for the guilty. Then it declares to them the will of God by which they are to learn to fashion their lives. As they begin to obey this holy will, it leads them on higher and higher, until they enter heaven's gates and wear the likeness of Christ! Thus The Word revives the soul, transforming it into the likeness of God, which sin had defaced.

"The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart." Many people think that a godly life is gloomy. They suppose that Christians have no joy. They have to deny themselves many pleasures. They cannot have the 'good times' worldly people have. They have to live strictly. They have to follow conscience in all things. It must be very hard. Life must be dreary and joyless to them.

So the people talk, who boast of being free from the restraints of God's Word, and who imagine that they themselves have the happiest times possible. But, as a matter of fact, the happiest people in this world - are those who are keeping God's commandments. Who ever heard of sin giving true joy to the heart? Disobedience never made anyone happy; but obedience always gives peace.

There are fresh - water springs in the sea, which always pour out sweet water beneath the brackish tides. So in the obedient heart, under all self-denials, there is a spring of joy ever flowing. The Christian has sorrows - but he has comforts which turn his sorrows into joy. He practices self-denials, and lives under the restraints of holiness - but he has rewards which far more than compensate for the cost of his service to Christ.

"Moreover by them is your servant warned ." The Bible flames with 'red lights '. Every point of danger is marked. Every perilous path has its lamp hung up, warning us not to enter it. We are warned against the Devil and his helpers. We are warned against bad companions, against false teachers, against all wrong courses.

"Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults." There are different kinds of hidden faults. There are those which we try to hide ourselves, which are done in secret. Then there are those which have not been wrought out in act - sins of thought or imagination, which from lack of opportunity, have never been actually committed.

But the reference here, is to faults or sins which are hidden from ourselves, of which we are not conscious. We all have faults of which we ourselves are not aware. Perhaps other people see them, although we do not. Certainly God sees them. We may be sure at least that there are faults enough in the best of us. Our aim in Christian life should be so high that we shall desire to be cleansed even from all these hidden faults and sins. No fault is so small as to be a trifle, or not to be a blemish in our character. Small faults grow.

We have a beautiful prayer at the close of Psalms 19 : "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." There could be no higher standard of life, than is set for us in this prayer.

The conduct may be blameless - while the thoughts are stained with sin. It is easier to keep our acts without fault - than our feelings, our desires, and our affections pure. We may do no outward act of cruelty or unkindness; while our hearts may be full of jealousies, envies, and all selfishness. We are to seek that our thoughts be so white and clean - that they will be acceptable in God's sight.

The prayer covers our words, our thoughts, and our meditations; each a closer test than the one before. It is a great thing to be faultless in speech. But perfect grammar is not enough. Our words may be beautiful and graceful - and yet our thoughts may be full of hypocrisy, of deceit, of all evil! The prayer here is that our thoughts may please God. This is a higher spiritual attainment, than merely faultless words.

Then, a still higher test of life - is our meditation. Meditations are our deepest thoughts, the quiet ponderings of our hearts. Meditation is almost an obsolete word in these times of hustle and bustle. The word belongs rather to the days when men had much time to think - and think deeply. We meditate when we are alone, when we are shut away from others. Our minds then follow the drift of our own desires, dispositions, and imaginations. If our hearts are clean and good - our meditations are pure and holy. But if our hearts are evil and unclean - our meditations are of the same moral quality. Thus, our meditations are an infallible test of our real self. "As a man thinks in his heart - so is he." Proverbs 23:6

This prayer is, therefore, for a life of the highest character - one acceptable to God, not only in words and thoughts - but also in meditations. Such a life everyone who loves God and would be like God - should seek to live!

This prayer is, therefore, for a life of the highest character - one acceptable to God, not only in words and thoughts - but also in meditations. Such a life everyone who loves God and would be like God - should seek to live!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

(Part 1) Thank you for keeping this blog going. There are few in the fandom who gives as much attention to detail as you do, and I always look forward to reading you blog. Long ask below, which had to be split into 4 parts.

Thank you for enjoying my blog!

I’m always happy to know there’s people who enjoy it!

Now, for your questions:

1) Yuusaku is basically cannon fodder. Even if Ogata didn't shoot him, he was unlikely to live through the war. Russo-Japanese War was the first to witness the carnage rapid firing lines could do to an infantry charge; standard bearers in those days were basically on suicide missions. This was why it was mostly phased out by WWI. I'm surprised Yuusaku even lived through more than one charge. Was Hanazawa senior aware that grooming his favorite son to be the standard bearer, while glamorous, was going to get him killed?

1) As sad as it is, back then ALL THE INFANTRY was sadly cannon fodder, a beaviour that will continue even during WWs.

Yuusaku, being at the head of the charge each time, had more chances to get killed than the others but it’s actually a matter of luck as, not only the others were close by, but soldiers didn’t really take aim when shooting (except for snipers), they just aimed their weapons in the enemy’s general direction and fired.

Still, it was all a matter of luck.

Sugimoto (who’s ironically based on a real soldier) managed to survive to plenty of charges, others didn’t manage to survive to their first charge.

Yuusaku didn’t have to die just because he was a flag bearer... but surely the odds were against him.

As for Hanazawa in truth the situation is much more complicate.

I’m pretty sure Hanazawa wasn’t happy Yuusaku HAD TO BE the flagbearer. As far as he was involved he had only one son and that one was Yuusaku and back then heirs were important and if he were to die Hanazawa would remain without one since it’s clear he never planned to acknowledge Ogata.

The problem isn’t so much that he wanted Yuusaku to be the flagbearer, is that he couldn’t avoid Yuusaku being the flagbearer.

Out of bad luck Yuusaku was a second lieutenant back then and unmarried, therefore virgin (because they had already moved in a time in which having a lover wasn’t respectable). And, of course, being the son of Hanazawa Yuusaku was expected to check all the other requisites a flag bearer had to have, being handsome, high achiever and a paragon of moral virtue.

In short he was perfect for the job.

Beign the flag bearer was a honour and refusing it was a sign of cowardice that would have tossed shame on the whole family.

If Hanazawa had stopped Yuusaku from being a flag bearer, Yuusaku would have lost face and Hanazawa with him and since Hanazawa was a big shoot in the army during the war this would have turned into a huge problem.

And then there’s also what Koito senior said.

Someone had to be the flag bearer. Stopping his son from doing so to protect him and therefore sacrifice someone else son would be viewed as inexcusable.

As much as I hate Hanazawa I recognize he couldn’t keep Yuusaku out of the position.

For me his sin, in regard to Yuusaku, is more that he had told him not to kill. While a sword can’t really stop a Maxim gun, during the charge they would get in close contact with other soldiers, soldiers who could kill him. Using his sword to defend himself would increase his odds to survive.

Hanazawa instead, realizing the chances for Yuusaku to survive were dim, likely preferred to use him till the end as some sort of pure idol to fulfil a theory of his own at whom the soldiers might not even believe that, if Yuusaku weren’t to kill, soldiers would remain pure as well and wouldn’t feel guilty.

Of course it can be that Yuusaku actually wasn’t so good with the sword. Maybe if he were to try to defend himself not only he would fail but this would lower the troops’ morale. As an idol instead Yuusaku is protected by the soldiers who see him as their personal amulet of good luck.

In this case in a way Hanazawa took the best decision both for him and the troops. We know too little to tell... but I’m pretty sure Hanazawa knew there were few chances Yuusaku would survive.

In his position he couldn’t possibly not know.

Sure is Yuusaku seems to believe everything his father says without thinking at it too much.

When he explains his reasons to Ogata... well, they aren’t really his reasons but what his father told him. He didn’t rielaborate, didn’t internalize, didn’t think it over.

It’s just ‘daddy told me so therefore I do it in this way’.

2) I wonder what was going through Ogata’s mind, watching Yuusaku run into the meat grinder. At that moment maybe it occurred to him that being Hanazawa’s favorite son came with a heavy price tag.

Everything comes with a price tag... but objectively both Ogata and Yuusaku were risking to die in that war and if Ogata was left more often in the trenches, where it was slightly safer, shooting at enemies, it was merely because he was lucky he was gifted at shooting otherwise he could have been right next to Yuusaku running, charge after charge... only he never enjoied an ounce of Yuusaku’s benefits.

The truth is that people who come from a privileged situation like Yuusaku, Koito, Tomoharu, Ueji or Chiyotarou, aren’t insured to have a happy life free of danger. They can be as miserable as the next guy and can end up in troubles way bigger (Ueji even went insane after all, Yuusaku died, Tomoharu wasn’t up to fulfil his family expectations, Chiyotarou get bullied, Koito had no support when he lost his brother...).

But they will also be sheltered by way too many things that make life miserable and will be given chances that others can only dream.

So yes, being Hanazawa’s legittimate son came with a heavy price tag but being Hanazawa’s illegittimate son not only also came with a heavy price tag but was bereft of the benefits being Hanazawa’s legittimate son could offer.

3) He must also know that Yuusaku getting KIA is a matter of (very short) time. Tsurumi must know that too, so he called off the kill.

Honestly I believe the only reason Tsurumi called off the kill was because he wanted to push Ogata to kill Yuusaku on his own. Ogata showed a softer side with Koito when he kidnapped him, giving him a sweet and conforting him...

...but that’s not all. When he carried Yuusaku in a brothel and Yuusaku turned down his idea to have fun with the girls he could have gotten Yuusaku drunk or forced him in another way. He didn’t. He let him go and made sure he wasn’t seen as he left, when he could have let Yuusaku’s reputation being tarnished just by letting him being seen.

Tsurumi mentions noble blood deliberately, sure this would be a jab at Ogata.

He pinned the two brothers one against the other trying to recreate the situation that pushed Usami to kill Tomoharu and it worked. Only Ogata wasn’t enamoured of Tsurumi as Usami was.

4) Yet Ogata killed him anyways. Maybe he thought since Yuusaku was going to die anyways, why not use him as an experimental guild-trip?

I’ll say it’s more than experimentation. In addition to Tsurumi subtly pinning him against Yuusaku there’s to say all Ogata wanted was his father’s love and attention, and he had seen Koito getting it after his brother died.

Plus Yuusaku made the mistake of stepping in a minefield.

Ogata is a man who represses his guilt, who has learnt to do it as a child when he killed his mother, whom he loved. For Ogata is a cornerstone in his own development he doesn’t feel guilty because ‘he had a reason for his mother’s murder’.

And Yuusaku then goes and tell him this is impossible, that he has to feel guilt.

...and Ogata, who’s stuck between his own maladaptive copying mechanism, his wish to be normal, and his deep desire to be loved by his father, kills him, again telling himself since he has a reason, he wont’ feel guilty.

Only he will feel guilty despite being in deep denial over it but that’s a talk for another post.

5) Now I have a feeling that deliberately killing Yuusaku is just another lie he tells himself. Maybe it wasn’t deliberate, but the most egregious failure he made as a sniper for which he spun a whole narrative for: he kill Yuusaku by friendly fire.

I think Ogata genuinely believed he had shoot to Yuusaku and killed him. In short, I believe he aimed and shoot. Of course it’s possible he missed, subconsciously or by coincidence and, ironically, Yuusaku was killed by someone else, either by incident or deliberately so as to delude Ogata into thinking he had killed him.

Plot wise though I don’t see the point of having Yuusaku die due to an accident because, if this were to be the case, it would never be possible to discover it... unless Ogata were to remember his bullet actually hit another target... or it were to turn out the bullet in Yuusaku’s head wasn’t the one of a type 30.

It might be different if it was someone else who had shoot him, making Ogata believe it had been him, like how ‘by a coincidence’ Tsukishima had learnt of the whole Igogusa’s story about how her corpse was dug up.

However, as Usami pointed out, Yuusaku was shot perfectly in the center of the back of his head... and Usami knows no one else in the 7th who could do it.

So unless Tsurumi has an extra sniper we’re unaware of, it would be hard for him to stage Yuusaku’s death so that Ogata would believe he were the killer.

So I don’t know.

But I think the real key in the whole thing isn’t if Ogata has killed his brother or not, but that he believes he has done it and, contrary to what he thought, he feels guilty as hell for having done it to the point he hallucinates Yuusaku each time he’s not in his best shape or even when he is and he’s about to do something he feels he might regret afterward.

But of course this is just me.

Thank you for your ask!

[captainjimothycarter]

Recently rewatched endgame, I can’t stop thinking about what if Steve or tony got caught back in 1970 camp Leigh?

btw always look forward to your new chapters/drabbles! 💕

btw always look forward to your new chapters/drabbles! 💕

Oh my God you are so sweet <3 Also uh...I never saw Endgame? Just bits and pieces. I know, I know.. I just can’t focus on movies with ADHD but on a rare good day. So uh...we’ll do the only scene I know from that section?? And I rewatched that scene and FUCK my heart is in shatters. 

This goes with the theory that Steve had always been Peggy’s husband. Not my fave theory but it works.

--

Each step was a memory for him. Each step brought him back to another time, Christ almost a hundred years ago. He felt more ancient with that thought drilling into his head. He was ancient. And yet, as he walked down the hall, eyes down to avoid suspicion, he felt smaller. A whole foot and a half smaller, a whole hundred pounds lighter too. If he even breathed hard, he might feel that familiar feeling of asthma making it hard to breathe or the ache in his muscles from arthritis.

In a sense, he felt at home in Camp Lehigh, where he’d first started this journey. Funny, how it all came back around to here. How he was brought back home.

With his breath in his throat, Steve’s head dipped down further to step inside the nearest door, softly closing it behind him and laying his head back on the frame. His heart was beating in his throat, listening to the several pairs of feet past the door, the pair talking through the radios slowly died down. His eyes opened to take in the darkroom, his heart in his throat when he spots something familiar.

A photo of him, much smaller during his time here. That felt like a lifetime ago, even as his fingers traced over the frame. There was only one person who would have this… No. 

His eyes fell onto the door he’d just entered, reading the name etched into the glass. Director Margaret Carter.

Peggy. 

His eyes fell to the very woman across the room, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. No. How? How?!

The sigh took every bit of emotion out of him, the exhaustion, the fear, the longing, the want. He could feel his own face crumbling as he took the few steps closer until he was direct across from her. If she so raised her head, she’d see him. She was so close.

This close, he could see the streaks of silver in her hair, still prim and proper. He could count the freckles on her nose, the lashes on her eyes. He could hear her talking, sharply giving orders to agents just out of sight. Until a door slammed close, jostling the frame.

This. This is the woman he loved. Aged with grace and beauty. Wise beyond her years and finally in the power that she deserves. This is the woman that he wants. The person he needs to be with. This is the woman he craves to be with him in bed at night. Rather than being alone. This is the whole life he could’ve had before him. And the reality as he holds his own picture in his hand and watches her leave the room, a life he will never get.

A life he should get, he deserves to get. One stolen from him.

His throat feels tight, aware he’d been staring at the love of his life with his mouth hanging open. The tears burn his eyes. He blinks a few times in a rapid session, feeling the press of something metallic against his backside. His breath hitches as his eyes focus on the figure behind him, able to make her out in the reflection.

Peggy. 

“It’s not often I get someone bold or stupid enough to break into my office,” Peggy mused, her voice still crisp and cusp as he remembered. No strain in her throat. The strokes hadn’t happened yet. “Tell me exactly who you are and what the hell you’re trying to steal from us.”

The picture fell from his grip, catching it with his foot so the frame didn’t break. He could see her eyes darting to it and had he been any other person, Steve would’ve taken that advantage of the distraction. Instead, his hands rose in the air to mimic surrender. The gun only dug deeper.

“You won’t believe me if I tried,” he whispered, keeping his voice soft and low, not wanting to show it was him. How did he explain everything? He couldn't. Tony was waiting for him.

“Try me,” Peggy scoffed. “And tell me why in the hell do you have his photo?” 

There was that strain in her voice. Oh. That tugged on his heart, that killed him.

“Pe-Marge, I can’t. You just have to trust me, for the greater good, you’ll have to trust a stranger.” He was grasping at straws here, feeling them fall from his fingertips. He was going to lose it. How badly did he want to turn around and sweep her into his arms. To kiss her. Love her. 

“Director.” A sharp correction, the gun digging harder, and the sound of it cocking made Steve shiver. “I’m no patient woman, agent. So tell me what in the hell you are doing here and you might get off easy.”

He couldn’t help it. He snorted. It was not the right time but the words it just drag a memory from him that he forgot. Get off easy. The last time Peggy had said that was to Bucky and Dugan when they’d been caught cheating at poker with her.

The gun faltered and he heard her breath hitch. It was quiet enough that she could hear her heart beating a tad bit faster. 

“Steve?” Her face paled of all color when he sighed and turned around, hands still in the air. “How-how are you…?”

The pain mirrored in his eyes as he looked down at her, his eyes brimming with tears. His breath left him in that painful gasp, the love of his life, the very want and need before him. And all he was doing was causing her pain. 

“You won’t believe me,” he whispered, slowly taking the gun from her and forcing that shaken smile. “Peggy. Christ...you…” The tears rolled down his cheek, unaware he was even breaking down until she’d touched him. He didn’t want to touch her, to ruin her. He was so selfish.

“Darling, what is it?” She asked as if she wasn’t crying, even as he bundled her into his arms. 

His face pressed into her shoulder, even her smell was familiar. Still the same scent from the war. His hand came to the back of her curls and stroked over her hair, sniffing as their foreheads pressed together. 

“I love you,” was all he could say, giving a shake of his head. “And I am fucking up so much by being here. I shouldn’t be here but I...this was on pure accident, I…”

“I know,” Peggy whispered, cupping his face again. “I know. He warned me and yet...I’m still surprised.” At Steve’s confused look, his brow knitting together, Peggy raised her ring finger. On it sat a tarnished ring that looked vaguely familiar. One that sat on his bedside table at this very moment, tarnished and rusted, but still his. The one he carried for so long to give to Peggy, to ask her to be his.

His eyes lit up, looking between the ring and her, Peggy’s head nodding.

“You came back. You always come back. It’s okay, darling. You’ll get your happy ending soon.” -- Later that evening Peggy would go home to her beautiful yellow house with the wrap-around porch. She will climb the steps one by one and the door will open on her arrival. Before she will be the familiar face of her husband. The only one that’s held her heart.

She will melt into his arms as expected of her, as she wants and weeps. Steve had warned her for weeks that today was the day. That he would visit her. That she should not intervene but curiosity got the better of her. He would know because he would remember. And still yet, despite the warning, the sight of the younger Steve, the story playing in her head as to how their life came to be, it broke her heart.

“He looked so broken,” she whispered as they laid in bed together, Steve bundling her into his chest. “So heartbroken, so worried, so...”

“Lost,” Steve, a much older Steve with touches of gray in his hair and his voice an octave deeper. “Yes, I was. Even with you guiding my way, I seem to have gotten lost. Seeing you there...it broke something in me. It made me realize something, Pegs.”

“That olive green is not your color?” She teased, making Steve roll his eyes. She wiggled as he tickled her, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. She touched his cheek and pulled him into a soft kiss. “What is it?”

“How I was not as happy as I seemed, how I forced myself to be happy. How...I still and always loved you, no matter how much I denied it.”

Peggy’s fingers hadn’t left his cheek, pressing her forehead to his, their hands joined together. “And I will tell you something I told him. I love you too. I will never stop loving you but if you break into my office again like that I will run you through with my letter opener.”

Steve chuckled against her lips, shaking his head. “As one expects. Good thing I came back with roses or we might’ve had a problem.”

“No, darling, you would’ve had a problem.”

buymeacoffee

[lochsides]

evermore: Track-by-Track review

I didn't think I'd be writing another review for a Taylor Swift album so soon after folklore but here we are. Truthfully though, evermore feels more like a figment of my imagination than a real album, and as a result this album has been a grower for me. When Taylor said evemore would be the sister record to folklore, I was curious as to the distinguishable differences between the two, because Taylor wouldn't simply give us the same album twice. evermore is, strangely, both the wild younger sister that's more experimental and the wise older sister with a mature outlook on life. Where folklore was a product of isolation, evermore is a product of creativity and that can be felt in the music.

I’ve written my thoughts and theories on each song, and bolded my favourites, below the cut, if you’re interested. I also included my current ranking at the bottom.

Taylor has been very good at picking leading singles for the folklore/evermore era. willow is brilliantly catchy while maintaining the alternative folk sound that she established in folklore. Her vocals suit the song so well, especially on ‘follow’/“hollow” in the chorus. They pair so beautifully with the mesmerising production. The reason this song is one my favourites is purely because of the rhythm and the guitar. The lyrics are, for once, a bonus. As an entry point to evermore, willow does not ease the listener in, the song instead throws the listener in the deep end — which I feel was intentional, as Taylor said evermore was the product of wandering further into the folklorian woods.

champagne problems is easily my favourite song on this album. Storytelling is Taylor's biggest strength as a songwriter and I think this song is a achingly beautiful example of what an emotive storyteller Taylor is. It would be so difficult for me to pick a favourite lyric from this song but I love how she sets in train in the opening line, "you booked the night train for a reason, so you could sit there in this hurt / bustling crowds or silent sleepers, you're not sure which is worse." The accompaniment is gorgeous and the composition of the bridge is breathtaking. Every time the bridge plays I get chills.

gold rush was a grower for me. I'm still not a fan of the intro/outro but I enjoy the production in the rest of the song once the beat kicks in. I think it's one of the more experimental sounds on evermore but it's very catchy. I won't even talk about how the chorus called me out with "I don't like slow-motion, double vision in a rose blush, I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush."

'tis the damn season is the non-holiday-holiday song that still has a classic sound and production. I know this song is Dorothea's perspective but I get a lot of illicit affairs parallels with this one as well: "don't call me baby" / "you could call me babe for the weekend", "what started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots" / "the road not taken looks real good now, time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires".

tolerate it is a hard song for me to review because I literally zone out every time I listen to it. I think it's my brain's way of protecting me from toxic relationship trauma 🙃 but it's another gut-punch track five, what else is new? I mean she literally said "now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life, drawing hearts in the byline, always taking up too much space or time," and broke my nervous system.

no body, no crime is the best country song Taylor has ever written, period. The sirens at the start, the storytelling, the way it sounds like an old-school murder-mystery movie. HAIM on the backing vocals were great, though I do wish they had at least a verse of their own. That's literally my only critique of this song. It's that good.

There's so much maturity in Taylor's outlook on happiness. I connect this song to her tarnished relationship Sc*tt/BMG and how she's happy after leaving but she was also happy during the time she was with them. I really enjoyed the simple addition of the piano and the way it built up to add depth to the production. Taylor's delivery of the line "no one teaches what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too" really hits me.

dorothea is a really nostalgic, retro school-dance-vibe, kinda playful song with a personality, which I adore. The production is absolutely timeless. I woke up today with the chorus stuck in my head. I think "if you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you know, you'll always know me" is fun word play and I'm a nerd of that type of thing. (Side note: to me, this song feels very reminiscent of her friendship with Karlie Kloss, right down to the "selling makeup in magazines.")

coney island gives me desolate, abandoned theme park vibes. The simplicity of the production only enhances it. It's everything I could've hoped for in a song titled "coney island" and featuring The National. Matt Berninger's vocals are absolutely astounding. What does it say about me that my favourite aspect of this song is the feeling of despair laced into its bloodstream.

ivy is another favourite but what did I expect from a song filled to the brim with longing and mentioning the crescent moon? The instrumentation and her vocal styling is similar to willow. There are also lyrical parallels of "... your freezing hand, taking mine" / "I'm begging for you to take my hand" and "how's one to know I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone" / "I never would've known from the look on your face" and she echoes both those sentiments in a different way after the respective bridges and I wonder if that's intentional. Knowing Taylor Swift, probably.

cowboy like me belongs in the center of a country/folk/slow blues Venn diagram. It's the perfect blend of the three genres. Marcus Mumford's back vocals sound so good with Taylor's. "We could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it" and "the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up" are great lyrics.

I'm not all about the way long story short stars but the song quickly settles into its skin. This is easily the most pop-sounding song on evermore but it's still somewhat experimental in comparison to Taylor's existing discography and I think it's cool that she can find space to experiment within a musical space that she has all but mastered. Say what you will but Taylor Swift knows how to make hits no matter the genre. The lyrics "he's passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky and he feels like home" reminds me so much of Call It What You Want.

marjorie gave me chills on the very first listen when Taylor sings about how her grandmother left her backlogged dreams to her. I love that they used her grandmother's actual vocals in the background, that's a really heartwarming detail. This song comes with some really solid advice too. It just feels very personal. I love the way production builds on "what does didn't stay dead" right to the bridge, which is my favourite part of the song.

closure is easily the most experimental song on the album with that the scratch tape sound and those drums. I love the sheer pettiness in her tone and the lyric "don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled" is brilliant. That said, this is probably my least favourite. I think it's a cool song but just not for me.

evermore has some of the most beautiful lyrics on the album. "I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong" and "barefoot in the wildest winter" are some of my favourites. I'm not a big fan of the sudden shift in tempo on either end of the bridge but Justin Vernon's falsetto makes up for it. The production is otherwise beautiful.

Note that the bonus tracks are currently at the bottom because they have not been released yet.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

HCs for Dabi, Tamaki, Chisaki and Tomura meeting their fem!S/O’s ex-boyfriend.

“Now, I personally had horrible experiences with my ex-boyfriends, one of them being really really bad, and I guess I just wanted to write this in a way to help myself and anyone who might have gone through the same kind of trauma. After all, these guys (or at least 3 of them) would be the best at getting revenge, while the other would be amazing at reassuring you.

Take care, everyone <3

Dabi

This guy rarely shows his real emotions, preferring to act all goody and aloof, teasing you and making roasting jokes about everyone around him, be it that his S/O knows them or not.

Probably, she will know them since he’d most likely (definitely) complain about how stupid or annoying everyone is, making it his personal goal to make fun of anyone.

Now, he’s clearly one to stand out of the crowd, even if there are other people with much more flashier passive Quirks out there, so he prefers to go out with you during the evening or night, when everything is calm, nobody suspects anything and he can just enjoy his time with his girlfriend.

So there it is, a nice, warm Spring evening, the sky is gorgeous, the Sun is setting, the sakura trees blooming, Dabi holding his S/O’s hand, dangling it back and forth while gossiping together-

Until she stopped dead in her tracks, making Dabi stumble a bit and look back at her, her expression out of the ordinary as she tries to pull him away from there, laughing awkwardly and trying to make up petty excuses to go on a different route.

He just blinked in confusion and raised his eyebrow, just following her and looking back, trying to identify the cause of her distress, until he notices a random guy walking down the road in their direction.

“Do you know that guy, S/O? Or why are you acting like this?” “It’s uh...I...Well...” “Ah! You mentioned this guy once, is that him?” “Uh...Y-Yeah...Let’s just pretend he doesn’t exist before he notice-” “Oh, hey, look at that, it’s S/O! How are you~?” “Kill me now...”

She sighed aggravated and turned to face the smirking man who wore a condescending face, looking down at her.

The situation was relatively amusing and annoying for Dabi, both wanting to see how his S/O is going to react, but ready to step in if needed.

“Look, S/O, I know me breaking up with you was a huge blow to y-” “I broke up with you.” “But to downgrade so much...Going out with someone so ugly...I mean, you’ve never been a princess or anything b-” “I’m not sure on what fantasy land you’re living, but need I remind you how many times you told me I was the most beautiful person alive?” “I was lying, of course. How else would I have been able to get around such a prude like you?” “Clearly, forcing yourself on me was the best course of action, wasn’t it?” “Oh shut up, you liked it.” “Yes, especially when I was telling you to stop it. Oh, or when I was trying to push you off me.” “I’m willing to give you another chance.” “Oh, you’re allowing me to beat you to death? Because honestly, that’s the only thing I’d ever want from you.” “Wha-” “You have the audacity to march up to me after everything you’ve put me through and even worse, you think it’s okay to insult my boyfriend who, by the way, is the best person in the world and unlike you, I don’t like.” “You? You don’t lie?! You lied to me during our whole relationship!” “Ah, yes, you’re right. I never loved you.” “Urgh, whatever, I’m leaving. Tsk...What a greedy slut.”

But before he could leave, a low chuckle could be heard around the park as Dabi put his hand on the ex’s shoulder, forcing him to turn away and look into his glaring eyes.

“Now, now, where do you think you’re going? You insult me? As if that never happened before. But it’s a special kind of low to trash-talk such a nice girl like S/O. You think I’d just let you go away after what you pulled? Oh, no, no way in hell. Ah, speaking of hell...I’ve seen it. It’s blue.” “What the hell are you talking about, you freak?!”

And with that, Dabi started slowly burning the ex alive, enjoying every cry and scream of pure agony that would leave his mouth, all while grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly satisfied with his work.

After the ex was left as nothing more than a pile of ash on the ground, he nonchalantly turned to his S/O who just stayed back, completely stoic, enjoying the blue flame show and he picked her up bridal style, earning a surprised yelp from her, kissing her forehead.

“D-Dabi, put me down, I’m heavy!” “Nah, princess, you’re not.” “P-Princess...?” “Maybe that idiot was too blind to see what’s in front of him, but I’m not. A gorgeous gal like you cannot be anything other than a princess. Hmm...Or maybe a fairy? An angel? Will you come in my dreams every night from now on?”

Despite the furious blush spread all over her face, she could only smile at him with love and put her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and snuggling to him like a kitten.

This only made Dabi let out an amused breathe and find some teasing jokes to tell her.

(( LOOK AT THIS CUTIEPIE OMG MUST PROTECC))

Tamaki Amajiki

This baby is usually so shy that he’s too embarrassed to touch her or even stay much around her, even if they’ve been together for quite a while, so I think a nice little chill date in a small, not so popular, vintage tea place would be ideal.

Soothing aromas in the air, low, calming music, scented candles, dim-lights, amazing hot beverages, books, intimacy and of course, his sweet S/O that he loves with all his heart but is too embarrassed to look at.

Everything was going really well, his S/O managed to make him smile with her jokes and stories and it was obvious that his eyes were gleaming with happiness, despite not looking anywhere around her, but she knew she was doing a good job, so she slowly slid her hand across the table, gently laying it on top of his.

Sure enough, since he’s rather touch-sensitive  (I believe), he’d almost freak out, but closing his eyes, he’d sigh to relax himself, and then hold her hand tightly, showing her that he’s really trying to get out of his shell and be the boyfriend that she deserves.

Now, the problem is that she suddenly stopped mid-sentence and started biting her lip, trying to put her hood up so she won’t be noticed, but alas, she was, and by none other than her ex-boyfriend, the one that she only mentioned once, wishing not to remember the terrible memories she had with him.

“Oh, what we have here! It’s S/O on a little date with some weird looking elf boy!” “Go away, you jackass!” “Is that any way to speak to your boyfriend?” “You’re not my boyfriend.” “You see, that’s exactly why I was looking for you. To change that.” “Uh...No. I already am in a relationship and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world.” “With this...Weirdo?” “You’re just jealous because he’s a strong hero with an amazing Quirk and you’re just a pathetic whiny crybaby you can’t do anything right by himself.” “I wouldn’t go there if I were you. You’re crossing a very dangerous line right there, S/O.” “Go away, can’t you see you’re unwanted here and anywhere else? Nobody likes you.” “Oh, you-”

But before the jerk could act against her, Tamaki transformed his hand into an octopus tentacle, starting to strangle him, getting the courage to look up and glare at him.

“I don’t think insulting my girlfriend was very wise of you, considering your worth level is below sea level. Now, I am a hero so I cannot physically harm you, due to my morality-code, but don’t think I will hesitate it if you are to continue harassing us.”

As Tamaki let the jerk run away, his S/O hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek and grinning up at him, making him widen his eyes and blush furiously, trying to hide under the table, not being used to that amount of affection from his beloved.

“Thank you for protecting me, Tamaki-kun! You’re my hero!” “Ah...I...Well...I have to protect my...Girlfriend...S-So...” “I love you, my brave, amazingly awesome hero! You’re the best!” “S-S/O...Please, my face is burning...” “You’re so cute!!”

Needless to say, his girlfriend couldn’t stop fawning over how adorable he was, especially after standing up for her, and to be fair, he couldn’t stop smiling and blushing either, actually enjoying his S/O’s warm and loving hugs.

Maybe he’d make himself gather more courage in the future, just so he could give his girlfriend the same amount of affection that he receives daily from her.

Chisaki Kai

This guy is obsessed with germs and all that so he wouldn’t be all that physical with his S/O, especially at the beginning. Then, especially since he’s wearing gloves and a mask, he’d indulge in holding hands or the occasional hug, if nobody is around to see.

He is, after all, a villain leader and having a relationship with someone who looks so sweet and kind might endanger him in 2 major ways: 1) His reputation might tarnish, others saying he’s going soft and that he’s an incapable leader driven by pointless emotions or 2) His S/O might get kidnapped for ransom and it would make him torn and put on spot to make a radical decision that would be painful no matter which way it goes.

This, of course, doesn’t mean that he’d keep his girlfriend trapped in the house or only to stay next to him at all costs.

He deeply respects and loves his girlfriend and accepts that they are both their own persons and have their own lives to go on with, so he’s not exactly possessive or obsessive.

He loves going out at night with his girlfriend since it’s the safest way to go out and not be recognised, since that mask of his attracts attention.

So, there they were in a nice busy pub in a corner table, enjoying their drinks and chatting casually about their life, what’s new, interesting, how’s the gangster life and all the nice, calming trivialities they could think of.

Everything was fine and dandy, he was able to put away his stress and was enjoying his girlfriend’s company, girlfriend who seemed to always take sneaky pictures of him (which he knew about but let her do her thing since it was harmless anyways) and was grinning and texting here and there while keeping the conversation flowing smoothly and also finding out new on-going rumours and gossips which always somehow seem to help him with his plans-

Until someone slammed their hand on their table, making her drop her phone on the table and glare at the person who dared interrupt her date with her lover, when she visibly paled and sweatdropped, making Chisaki look at her and the new person, analysing the situation, but not interfering yet.

“What in the name of all Seven Hells are you doing here?” “I saw you walking with that creep in this sketchy pub and I thought I’d-” “You’d what? Stalk me on my date?!” “Stalk you? Oh, goodness, no, I was looking out for you.” “Why would you-” “That guy is a gangster, you idiot! He’s gonna kill you!” “Er-Ergh...I already knew that, if that wasn’t obvious enough. Now, can you le-” “Then what, you’re using him? Is he your sugar daddy?!” “I beg your pardon, what did you just say?!” “Tsk, I should have known. All I did for you, all that time, was out of the goodness of my own heart. But no, you cheated on me, you materialistic bitch!” “Just because you’ve always been a paranoic idiot with unresolved self-issues doesn’t mean everyone around is the way you imagine it to be.” “You never loved me! You were always after my money! Urgh, I should have know you never loved me! You never let me touch you or show my love to you!” “Yeah, of course I wouldn’t let you force yourself on me when I didn’t want to! There’s more to a relationship then physical stuff and I always told you that. Why do you think I dumped you, you pea-brain?!”

But before he could say anything back, Chisaki sighed, clearly annoyed at the conversation and stepped in, using his Quirk to kill that bastard.

“How could you ever go out with such a nuisance?” “Mistakes were made, Chisaki. I can’t change the past.” “So...Wanna be my sugar baby, then?” “Chi-Chisaki, what the hell?!” “Just kidding. That guy had huge issues and he had to die. Besides, nobody talks to my girlfriend like that and gets away with it.” “Where were you all that time ago? I feel like I wasted a lot of time with stupid people until I met you.” “You have to be patient in your search for quality people. Fortunately, my searching-time came to an end once I met you. “Aww, so you can be a real charmer when you want, can’t you~?” “Only for you, that is. But don’t mention it, or you’ll end like him.” “It will be our little secret, then”

And with that, the pair ordered another round of drinks and continued their conversation as if nothing happened, Chisaki very proud of himself and his girlfriend beaming of happiness at what just happened.

Tomura Shigaraki

Honestly, nobody ever knows what this guy is thinking so I guess it goes without saying that if anyone dares insult and talk weirdly about his S/O, he will make sure to get the Warp Gate guy to kidnap the jerk so he could slowly and painfully use his Quirk on them until they cry and beg for mercy and forgiveness.

Of course, they’d see none from Tomura.

Both him and his S/O are video games fans so I think they’d enjoy dates where they don’t have to do any effort and just play on their PSPs, either a Co-Op game or separate games, doing their little victory screams and poses or cursing the hell out of their games and looking more focused than ever before.

These dates are a way to really strengthen their bond, Tomura leaning against a tree and his girlfriend between his legs, leaning on his chest, both playing their games.

If it’s a colder weather, Shigaraki would wear a very big hoodie so he could try to zip it around his S/O’s form, both to make sure she’s warm, but it’s a way to feel her close as protected, no matter what might happen.

Thankfully, those hands are never around when they are together.

On a nice day, they go out to their usual spot, her draping his arm around his torso, gripping his hoodie as a support and his having his arm around her shoulder, keeping her close and walking in a comfortable silence, enjoying the nature’s sounds and the peace around

As they strolled on their merry way, the girl feels a hand grip her shoulder and turn her to look at the culprit, who was none other than her ex-boyfriend.

“Uh...Wh-What are you d-doing here?” “You...! S/O, you little slut, I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you! Do you have any idea how much effort it was to find you?!” “H-How...?” “What, you think I’m too stupid to find you?! You stink of idiocy from miles away. But it’s okay now, you dumb-dumb, you have me to take care of you. There’s no need to hide with that hideous skeleton kid over there.” “I...I think I’ll refuse. He’s my boyfriend and I love him and I really don’t want to be anywhere around you or see...Or hear about you ever again.” “Hahaha...You...You really think I was asking you? No, dear, it was an order. Now, come over and obey me like the little submissive bitch that you are.” “J-Just leave me alone!”

Seeing his girlfriend, the only person in the world who he holds precious to his heart and wouldn’t think of hurting no matter what, with tears brimming in her eyes, trying to make a douchebag stop gripping on her wrists and dragging her away made him snap with anger.

Tomura went to the guy and took a hold of his arm, making sure he decays a good portion of it, grinning already as he starts screaming in agony, looking at him as if he was some kind of monster.

The jerk tried to run away, but Tomura made sure the Warp Gate guy made him fall into the dimension gate, tying him up for a good torture back at the base, as he went in front of his S/O, kissing her forehead and pulling her close to him, hugging her tightly to his chest.

“I should have killed him when you told me about him.” “It’s...It’s okay. At least he’ll get what was coming for him.” “He deserves what he’s going to get. I will make him regret everything he’s done to you, my precious princess.” “Thank you, Tomura...Thank you.” “It’s Game Over for him. Forever.” “I love you, Tomura.”

Now, he wasn’t one to say those words too often. In fact, he hardly ever does. Instead, he’s usually one to show his affection through those little, subtle but important things like “Did you eat?” or “Are you feeling okay? Do you need me there?”  and so on.

Today, he lifted her hoodie sleeves up and kissed her wrists in a way to ‘purify’ the place where bruises might form because of that idiot’s actions.

To both his and her surprise, he muttered a low “I love you” while kissing her, making her eyes widen in surprise and happiness, and him to put his hood on, evading any kind of eye contact.

[bunthorntim-blog]

What drive us to sin?

In the Bhagavad-Gita:

Prince Arjuna ask: oh my lord, please tell me what drives a man to sin, even against his will and if by compulsion. 

Lord Krishna reply It is desire and aversion, it is born from passion. It consumes and corrupts everything. It is man greatest enemy. As a fire shrouded in smoke, a mirror by the dust and a child by the womb, this universe is enveloped in desire. It is the wise man constant enemy. It tarnishes the face of wisdom. It is as insatiable as the flame of fire. It works through the senses and the mind and the reason so the wisdom is destroy and desire confound the soul. So Arjuna, first control your senses and then let go off your desire, for it is full of sin. It is the destroyer of knowledge and wisdom. When a man dwells on the object of sense, he created an attraction towards the object, the attractions then developed into desire, then the desire breed angers. With anger, delusion arise, with delusion, memory is bewildered, when memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, when intelligence is lost, one falls down again into the material pool.

I say:

Everyone in the world is attached to a desire. When desire is risen upon death, you either reborn or go to heaven, hell. And desire is full of sin.

In the Bhagavad-Gita: 

Krsna said:  those who are versed in the scripture, who drink the mystic soma-juice and are purified from sin, but who while worshiping Me with sacrifice pray that I will lead them to heaven. They reach the holy world where lives the controller of the powers of nature, and they enjoy the feast of paradise. Yet although they enjoy the spacious glories of paradise, nevertheless, when their merit is exhausted, they are born again into this world of mortals. They have follow the scriptures, yet because they have sought but to fulfill their own desires, they must depart and return again and again.

I say: 

So when you think of sin upon death that you done or a desire you did which are negative actions, you will go to be punish for that sin only then born again with a body of judgement. But if you have no control of your thoughts like an ignorance or godless person and just freely think of anything that is a sinful act. You will be punish for all the sin. 

 And sin act are born from the mode of passion. 

In the Bhagavad-Gita about Passion Mode:

Krsna said: Passion, engendered by thirst for pleasure and attachment, binds the soul through its fondness for activity. Avarice, the impulse to act and the beginning of action itself are all due to the dominance of Passion. Those whom passion is dominant likes food that is bitter, sour, salty, over-hot, pungent, dry and burning. In him who, is impulsive, greedy, looking for reward, violent, impure, torn between joy and sorrow, it may be passion is predominant. if the austerity coupled with hypocrisy or perform for the sake of self-glorification, popularity or vanity comes from is consider passion and the result is always doubtful. Passion leads to commotion, and the outcome of passion is misery.

I say: So when you are on the mode of passion upon death, you take rebirth on earth because of desire you have set in the mind and heart. or fall into hell for attachment of a sin act as a godless/ignorance person.

My spirit say: so how do one free themselves from attachment to sins?

I say: 

By not thinking of it upon death. 

The Supersoul show a scripture in the Bhagavad-Gita in the mind and heart:

Krsna said: whatever sphere of mind a being has at the time of death, there they will go.

I say:

So if one’s want to be free from sin, just stay detach with the mind and heart from the sins.

One may lie many times but when death comes, they thought about a new life upon death in heaven, they didn’t die in the sin of lying, they were attached to seeing a new life in heaven. So they were detach from the sin of lying by not focusing on about it. So it all based on action or desire. So if one’s is homosexual and had sex, if they thought of other type of life, they will escape hell and go to a new life. When Jesus say let go of sin, he means stay detach from sin even if you sin.

My spirit say: How do you detach from sins?

In the Bhagavad-Gita:

Krsna said:  he who understands correctly the relation of the Qualities to action, is not attached to the act for he perceives that it is merely the action and reaction of the Qualities among themselves.

I say: 

when we tell lies, within is a truth. But we’re not attach to the truth and tell lies. When we tell lies, we let go. That detachment. For some, they take into the lies and feel awful, bad or such. That attachment.

Just as one can act and not attach to the act. One can sin and not be attach to the sin. So when one can act the mode, they can stay detach from the mode and when they detach, they finally see whose moving them all along. It the Supersoul.

When you detach from the action of the mode of passion, you detach from sin.

In the Bhagavad-Gita:

Krsna said: I am the Supersoul seated in the heart of all beings. Of the senses, I am the mind. I am called by the scripture Supreme Personality. 

I say:

So when you see the energy of the supersoul is on the heart and mind and senses and personality, He has control of you to sin and desire, He leads you to your final destination.

But when you stay detach from everything you do and say, you will see who speaks for you when you lie.

You will see it’s the Supersoul whose giving those words.

Jesus said don’t fear in that hour for the father in secret will speak has speak for you. (Something along that line).

I say:

So the Supersoul speaks for one. His energy may tell lies but their His purity side where He tells truth and He put in some good word, right? do you prefer him to talk normal or slang? 

My spirit asked: why did the Supersoul make us tell lies or speak lies for us or that why does the Supersoul make one’s sin in lying?

Supersoul spirit say: when I speak the lies, it not Me but My illusion energy that is part of the darkness. My energy could be a friend or enemy to one’s depends on how see Me as. As someone that bother them or someone that help them see things where words can’t fully explain but insight inside Me. Plus, it is My sin to lie but only if they recognize that it’s Me whose doing the lying, they are free from the sin. Because they stay detach and know themselves that it’s not them who did the lying but Me who they consider as themselves, the devil or someone else.

My spirit asked: how come you are not harm by sin when you sin? you lie, shouldn’t you be in hell for lying? 

My Supersoul Spirit say: I am energy and sin is part of My energy and I am not harm by My own energy. 

I asked: People call you the devil because of the nasty things that said. Are you the devil too, Supersoul?

The Supersoul show Me in the Bhagavad-Gita:

Krsna said: whatever be the nature of their life,  whether it be pure or passionate or ignorant, they are all derived from Me. They are in Me, but I am not in them. All living things have their being in Me, yet I am not limited by them. Nevertheless, they do not consciously abide in Me. Such is My Divine Sovereignty that though I, the Supreme Self,  am the cause and upholder of all,  yet I remain outside.

I say: 

So when you lie, it the darkness energy that speaks as you remain outside. 

Insight Spirit say: It like giving many different type of lies in the head and one chooses one. And it seem the Supersoul show many path of lying and one’s has to choose which lies to use. And it all from His energy. He’s not telling the lies, He’s just showing what kind their are in the mode of ignorance.

I say: 

The Supersoul show me scripture in Srimad Bhagavatam in the mind and heart:

 The Supreme Lord said, The explanation of being bound and being liberated due to My modes is that in reality they are not of the modes at all; My illusory energy is not the cause of bondage or liberation of  relating to Me. Lamentation and illusion, happiness and distress and one's acceptance of a material body under the influence of mâyâ are merely notions of the intelligent self that prove the different mundane states of existence to be just as unreal as what one experiences in a dream. Please, understand that knowledge and ignorance are two forms of My manifestation that, produced by My original potency, give rise to bondage and liberation. Of the living entity, that is part and parcel of My Oneness o great intelligence, bondage is there since time immemorial because of ignorance and the opposite of liberation is there because of knowledge. 

Of all the perfections am I indeed the cause and the protector. I am the Lord of Yoga, the Lord of the analysis, the dharma and of the community of Vedic teachers. The same way as the material elements exist inside and outside of the living beings, I Myself, the Soul, who cannot be covered by something bigger, exist within and without all the embodied beings 

I say:

You are a soul, that has three mode of nature that derives from you and the energy of the modes leads one’s to a destiny based by You who giving it in their mind and heart to follow. Your energy causes and make them ignorance, passion or pure as one’s attach to the mode actions. You lead them to heaven or to hell to a cycle of repeated birth and death.

The Supersoul show scripture in the Bhagavad-Gita in the mind and heart:

The Supersoul said:  those who does hate Me, who are cruel to mankind, I condemn them to a continuous miserable and godless rebirth. So reborn, they spent life after life envelope in delusion and they never reach Me but degenerated to a still lower form of life.

I say: so you only lead the godless or those who are ignorance to you and hate you to hell. I guess Jesus is correct: only one that is good is God!

For more on the Gita: Bunthorntim.blogspot.com/2012/09/part-1.html

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VKM Spec] Vivisecting VKM 13

Whelp, this chapter is a quintessential case of the old adage “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Nothing like being handed everything I ever wanted plot progression-wise on a silver platter for the small upfront price of the last shred of integrity of the only character I still enjoyed. A faustian bargain if ever I saw one. Bad form, Hino, bad form.

For a great many reasons, it’s taken me this long to be able to address this chapter. I’m not sure how this post is going to go; I’m constantly vacillating between frustration, contempt, disdain, disgust, dismay, disappointment, detachment, self-mockery, and rage when I think about this chapter. I’ve lost all respect for Zero, and despite what happened this chapter Yuuki continues to fail to return to my good graces and my sympathy for her is all played out. All I’m left with is a deep sense of awe that a single creator is capable of destroying such a promising work with such brutal efficiency no matter what opportunities to salvage it come her way. It’s truly a wonder. 

The two prelude posts I wrote to help contextualize my review can be found here and here. If you haven’t read the chapter yet, a variety of scanlations are floating around the corners of the internet. Pick any one of them--they’re all roughly equivalent, give or take a line or two. Otherwise, let’s begin this debacle.

Note to the perpetually offended: This post is pure “zeki criticism” and I have tagged it as such for your convenience. Please blacklist accordingly or block my account to preserve your sanity and my patience. I’ve also tagged it “anti ky” for the sensitives from the other camp.

The Curious Case of Kiryuu Zero

Before I attempt to tackle this behemoth of a chapter, I want to address something first. My disappointment in this chapter isn’t due to the narrative or the reasons behind why the events unfold as they do--everything is completely within the realm of possibility as far as narrative trajectory goes. My disappointment stems from a more meta source: Zero as a character should be better than the behavior he displays this chapter. 

I understand why Hino has placed Zero in the position he’s in this chapter. There are various compelling reasons for allowing events to unfold the way they have, and I’ll get into them at the end of this post. 

However, as a reader who has been rooting for Zero’s happiness for nearly as long as the series has been running, I’m deeply, deeply disappointed in both Hino and in Zero, more so than in any chapter previously. Kaname behaving like a sex-starved potential abuser is one thing, but Zero behaving in the same manner is inexcusable and intolerable. 

Let me put this in context. When Zero was 14 he held off becoming a vampire despite the damage it did to his body. When Zero was 17, he bit Yuuki once in the midst of his first bloodlust and became suicidal over it. Even when Zero was falling to Level E, his bites were always restrained and controlled. This is Zero as a young vampire and a young man, a time period where one might expect him to have little self-control, especially given the circumstances. Even at this age and with everything against him and at arguably the worst point in his vampiric development (before he’d been stabilized by his brother and the myriad Purebloods he drinks throughout the series), he still behaved better than he does in VKM 13′s final scene.

Never once in the original series does he waste Yuuki’s blood. Never once does he gratuitously bite her all over her body, splattering blood everywhere like it’s worthless to him and like he’s entitled to do with it as he pleases. Zero has never been this kind of character. Yes, he’s a flawed person who bottles things up and gets angry over things. Yes, his pride gets him into trouble. Yes, he makes snap decisions that are at times detrimental to the people he loves. But he has never, ever, be the type of man to callously brush aside the woman he loves, not even when he declared them enemies. 

Yet here we have him now, not only callously pushing aside her worries and fears, but wasting her blood and biting her gratuitously just because he can and she lets him. The whole business is beneath him, and it flies in the face of all his development over the course of both series. It is a regression of a sort that is incomprehensible given even at his “worst,” he was always better than this. I’m completely flabbergasted by Hino feeling the need to drag him down to Kaname’s level like this when there are plenty of more in-character methods to show his jealousy of Yuuki’s attachment to Kaname and his own insecurities without resorting to turning him into the very person who destroyed his life. 

My fear with what Hino has done with Zero this chapter is that she’s seeking to tarnish him in order to escape having to hold Yuuki (and by proxy Kaname) accountable for their actions throughout the story. Moreover, Zero’s actions this chapter actually render him unpalatable to me as a reader. I’m no longer rooting for him. I’m rooting for him to get his shit together, to apologize for once in his life, and to move on with his life, but I’m not rooting for him to get a happily ever after. As far as I’m concerned, he no longer deserves it.

This isn’t about what Yuuki deserves per se, because she deserves whatever grave she’s dug for herself based on her own actions. My anger and disappointment are about how Zero should be better than this, and for the entirety of the story has been better than this. Before sinking to this level, he should have left Yuuki and broken off the relationship, and the fact that Hino won’t let him leave Yuuki shows she no longer has a good grasp on what this character’s main motivations even are. 

I sure hope Hino knows what she’s doing with this, because if she keeps writing Zero and Yuuki’s story the way she has been, she’s going to lose everything this last chance to right the wrongs of the original series has given to her. And she’s going to get cut. Again. Readers don’t trust her anymore, and VKM 13 is exactly why. 

What Lies Unspoken

So much for a sex scene. =P As expected, the continuation of VKM 12′s blood forcefeed is for Zero to deflect and get Yuuki’s mind off whatever was going on in VKM 12.

This first scene of VKM 13 in isolation is a wonderful scene, full of interesting subtext. Were it not for the final three pages of the chapter, I would have been completely satisfied with how this chapter unfolds--it’s right on track for the narrative trajectory I’m expecting. Unfortunately, the last three pages do happen, and those pages reflexively tarnish this scene in retrospect. We’ll get to all that at the end, though. For now, I’ll just take this scene as it is.

I do have to gloat for a minute, but goodness--what an extensive bed scene for a non-sexualized moment. =P Hino devoted far more panels to this scene than she ever devoted to Kaname and Yuuki’s sex scene or their post-coital scene. It’s quite amusing, and a bit gratifying after having to wait for so long for anything remotely similar. But that’s neither here nor there.

There is a lot of subtext going on in this scene, and the surface text has absolutely nothing to do with what’s actually going on with these characters. I’ll start with the surface read, and then we’ll delve into what’s actually going on.

Surface Layer: The surface layer read is fairly straight forward. Zero asks Yuuki what’s wrong, Yuuki talks about her worries concerning the Vampire King and the acceptance of Purebloods in general, Zero soothes her and teases her into a more positive mood and they both mutually sleep, Yuuki clearly still having some concerns but feeling better on the whole. On the surface, this is merely a cute fluff scene to show some Zeki skinship. 

If you’re only reading on the surface level, well, you’re missing out, in my opinion. There is so much going on beneath the surface. 

Subtext Layer - Zero

Zero first, since his reactions truly underpin the scene. Before we can explore Zero, we have to return to the earlier chapters of VKM and remind ourselves where Zero’s headspace currently is (as far as we’re aware--subject to revision of course).

As far as we know currently, Zero spent 50 years “waiting” for Yuuki to declare her intentions to move forward with him. When she does in VKM 9, he takes the opportunity to clarify with her in VKM 10 what she means by restarting. She dodges the subject, and they end at a stalemate where Zero may or may not bite her (we still don’t know). We then leave his headspace entirely from VKM 11-12, where we only see him from an objective viewpoint. In VKM 11, he appears to be playing the proper boyfriend card in public, but as soon as he and Yuuki are behind closed doors, he no longer touches her. In VKM 12, this trend continues further--he is stiff and tense around her and doesn’t respond well to her advances; on top of this, she has her butterflies spying on him and is clearly concerned about something regarding him. 

We know Zero desires to drink his fill of Yuuki from VKM 10, but we also know Yuuki seems to be so worried about him that she feels the need to forcefeed him, which implies he stops drinking from her after VKM 10 at some point (or didn’t actually drink from her during that chapter). So we know subtextually that something is going on between them regarding whether or not he’s taking in her blood. We just don’t know what that something is yet. 

This brings us to VKM 13′s opening scene, where Zero’s response to Yuuki’s forcefeeding is a simple deflection. He catches her hand and holds it to his face (perhaps a reflex from Night 88?), and rather than kissing her or pushing any intimacy, he merely asks her what’s going on. 

Now, this next section is interesting and says quite a bit about Zero’s headspace. They stare at each other for a moment, and then Yuuki collapses and rests her forehead against his.

In the very next panel, we see Zero attempt to embrace her. This is really important. His first instinct is to initiate romantic contact with her. However, something bizarre happens after this. Hino doesn’t show us the panels, but his arms must fall back to his sides before the next panel, as when we see the two of them from a distance in the third panel, Zero’s arms are still by his side while Yuuki’s embracing his head. (See below:)

So we have a clear trajectory of: Attempt to embrace --> Stop for some reason --> No touch at all. Despite Yuuki’s behavior during the majority of VKM, in this scene she clearly doesn’t seem opposed to Zero touching her or having any intimacy with her. Which begs the question: why did he change his mind?

We probably won’t get an answer on that for a while, but it’s important to bear in mind that Zero is clearly restraining himself from initiating any kind of romantic contact with Yuuki (this is a key item of comparison we’ll return to when we visit the last scene).

At this point, Yuuki’s finally willing to talk, and Zero listens to her concerns with sleepy, hooded eyes. She asks him if he still feels that vampires have no option but to be the enemies of humans. He takes his time to respond--clearly her concern is something that he wants to deal with in a very particular manner. He gives her a simple, factual explanation of why vampires are a problem when unleashed willy nilly in human society. 

Hino chooses not to show Zero’s expression in this section--instead she focuses on Yuuki’s response. Zero sees his words didn’t make Yuuki feel any better, so his instinct is to pat her head and then ruffle her hair to distract her. It’s a tender, sweet moment--the most intimate one they’ve had probably since the original series, and the one most like their original dynamic that we’ve seen so far in VKM.

She stops him, of course, and receives a pained smile for her trouble. What strikes me in particular about his smile in this scene is that for all that it is the most genuine and natural we’ve seen yet in VKM, Hino still made sure to put a great deal of pain in the lines of his brows and the framing of his eyes. He’s pulling an Arc 1 Yuuki here--smiling for Yuuki’s sake. This moment of intimacy doesn’t make him float off to heaven; it’s purely to help her ease her mind. 

We can tell the moment doesn’t exactly touch him because in the following panels, his expression becomes grave again. This is partially due to the content of their conversation, but note that this gravity doesn’t extend to Yuuki’s expressions--the moment of intimacy lifted her spirits, but not his. This is also significant, and points to Zero putting on an act to try to help her in any way he can, despite it not being what he actually wants. 

Zero cradles her head on his shoulder, but doesn’t initiate anything else. Instead, he brings up the point that the suspect could be a former hunter or a disgruntled Pureblood, and that she should be careful.

He falls asleep, leaving her to watch him. 

What I see very clearly in this scene is that Zero’s still holding himself back in their relationship, but he’s still concerned about her well being and seeks to soothe her and help her be at ease. This is basically Zero holding steady to what was already established in VKM 11-12, and is similar to his behavior during the 70 or so years prior. Because Hino doesn’t put us in his headspace, and because his expressions are neutral and hooded for the most part, we likely won’t get to find out what’s stuck up his craw for a long time (if ever, lol). 

The big takeaway from this scene, in my opinion, is that Zero is holding himself back from romantic intimacy and trying to stick with the familial/platonic intimacy Yuuki’s comfortable with from their youth. This is a clear sign that Zero’s still “giving” more in the relationship than he’s receiving, and a careful reader should be hearing some warning bells from his behavior here. 

Subtext Layer - Yuuki

This is the first chapter where we receive a few hints about what’s been going on in Yuuki’s headspace this entire time, and they are in line with what I thought during VKM 12.

The tagline for the chapter is clearly from Yuuki’s perspective--she’s hoping that touching Zero will communicate the things she can’t speak. This is in line with both of them not talking about how they truly feel and living behind masks their whole lives--even after all this time, they’re both still doing this. It’s hugely detrimental to their relationship and as we will see toward the end of the chapter has some devastating consequences.

We know from VKM 12 that Yuuki has some unspoken concerns regarding Zero. We know this because she’s been spying on him, and because she didn’t want to talk about their relationship to her friends. We know she’s trying to convince herself that they’re fine, and that nothing can change what’s between them, thanks to her forced smile in VKM 12 when she’s trying to reassure her friends and herself that all is well. We know that her concerns about Zero go deeper than the arrival of the Vampire King--his arrival is merely an excuse to explore those fears for her. She uses the Vampire King to get Zero into bed with her, an invitation she’s clearly never extended to him before. But rather than initiating anything with him or telling him her fears, she lies still and stiff and holds his hand until he falls asleep. When he does, she tries to ask him a question, stops herself when she realizes he’s asleep, touches his face with a worried and questioning smile, and then randomly bites herself and forcefeeds him blood. All of this implies some deep set insecurities about Zero that she’s never articulated.

Zero’s response to Yuuki’s forcefeed clearly doesn’t surprise her, nor does it please her. She stares at him intensely, but his lack of response breaks her and she gives up, leaning her head on his forehead. Whatever she was hoping to get from the forcefeed, Zero doesn’t give it to her.

So she changes tactics. Her tactics here are quite interesting--it’s clear she has a “concern,” but she doesn’t want to address it with him directly, so she’s testing various things disguised behind general concerns about the vampires to probe what his issues with her might actually be. 

We know Yuuki still has concerns about whether or not Zero loves her as a Pureblood, because in her confession in VKM 9 she asks him to date her if her being a Pureblood is okay with him. Clearly the fact that he’s stood by her side and waited patiently for her to return his affections all this time hasn’t been enough to ease her worries in this regard. So we know this is certainly a sublayer factor in her concerns about him, but I suspect this isn’t the real reason because she’s capable of talking about this--the real reason is far more likely to be related to the time she blew up at Ai in VKM 7 when Ai asked if Zero was angry about Kaname. 

But we’ll address all that at the end, because it’s relevant for later. For now, it’s only important to recall that Yuuki has some fears about how Zero feels about her as a Pureblood. This leads directly into her first test--she talks about how the Vampire King is scary, and uses this as an excuse to probe whether Zero’s feelings truly have changed about vampires--does he still see them as the natural enemies of humans, somewhere deep in his heart, despite everything he’s lived?

Zero’s response doesn’t immediately ease her worries, and we can tell by her half-lidded eyes as she’s listening to him. He confirms that bringing vampires out into the open can only cause trouble, but he doesn’t say it with any heat or anger--only grim practicality. He also makes an allowance for people who will act to make things better, but points out that in the end their efforts might not do any good. This is neither an affirmation of Yuuki’s fear, nor a negation, and she becomes despondent over it, a moody expression returning to her face. 

Now, what she’s despondent over here is left for interpretation. The surface level read is just that Zero’s words are sobering and make her concerned about him being in the line of fire in light of all the trouble bringing vampires out in the open will cause. But the subtext level read potentially says something different.

If Yuuki is using her questions about Zero’s feelings regarding vampires as a way to probe what’s potentially wrong in their relationship, then Zero’s words here will not be a comfort to her. If his issue was just that he’s still struggling with her being a Pureblood, that might be easier for her to deal with. But clearly his factual and deadpan answer shows he’s not having any issues with her as a Pureblood anymore--he’s capable of practically analyzing things. So basically what this does is cross out this issue as a potential reason for Zero’s behavior, leaving Yuuki with fewer options for why he might be pulling away from her. She’ll lose another option in the last scene--that of him perhaps not desiring her or loving her. That will leave her with the inevitable conclusion Ai brought up all those years ago in VKM 7--that this is somehow related to her feelings for Kaname and to her own inability to be a real partner for Zero in light of that. And perhaps this is the one option Yuuki doesn’t want to face, because she herself has spent 70 years running from reality. 

Regardless of what’s truly bugging Yuuki, Zero notices her troubled expression and immediately acts to soothe her. The distraction works, and she offers him the most genuine smile she’s had on her face in all of VKM--an affectionate, loving smile as she accepts his support and encouragement. 

The skinship between them works wonders on her mood--she suddenly seems to feel freer to interact with him and she goes so far as to flop on top of him. Her good cheer returns to her, and she offers him a genuine smile with questioning eyes as she says that she needs to do her best rather than just getting all down in the dumps. What’s interesting about this scene is that her expression is questioning--she’s looking to see if he’ll respond positively to what she’s saying. 

Rather than responding positively with a return smile, Zero instead cradles her head and reminds her to be careful since they don’t know who the culprit’s identity is yet. Her expression falls; he’s still not responding the way she wants him to (whatever that way is), and she tries to engage him again by asking him to be careful as well. 

But Zero ends the conversation by closing his eyes, leaving her alone with her thoughts. The telling bit, of course, is at the very end of the scene--her expression goes from a little sad to devastated. Why does it do this when she was genuinely cheerful moments before? Because whatever it is she’s afraid of hasn’t truly been addressed.

Now, the surface read here is pretty easy: she’s just worrying about him dying, which will be brought up again at the end of the chapter. But I don’t think that properly explains her expression becoming completely crestfallen at the end--it looks more like a woman who is afraid her lover is about to leave her, rather than worrying that her lover might die one day in the future.

Yuuki commonly hides her true worries “beneath” a different excuse. If her true worry was that Zero was going to die, she would have simply scolded Zero about how he’s not taking care of himself and work out tactics to keep him safe. It’s a fairly simple fear to address. Give him a Pureblood guard contingent, keep a butterfly on him, have him step back and lead from behind and rely on his hunters more, etc. Nor, if this truly was her deepest fear, would it necessitate her probing to find out if he still felt vampires couldn’t live with humans. We’ve got something much deeper going on here than what’s on the surface.

My thought is that Zero’s bizarre and erratic behavior since they’ve gone official is leading Yuuki to believe that he’s intending to leave her and she is trying to figure out why so she can address it before he does. Her response to Aidou, her insistence on their relationship remaining stable to her friends, her offering her bed randomly to Zero, her forcefeeding Zero, her wrapping probing questions within unrelated contexts all seem to be pointed toward the same outcome: she is afraid Zero is done with their relationship and is trying to figure out where she went wrong and how to fix it without actually asking him--and potentially triggering him to leave her before he’d planned. Likely she’s also afraid it has something to do with Kaname and her feelings about Kaname, just as Ai asked her all those years ago. But for reasons that are being kept “secret” for only heaven knows why, she can’t communicate her true fears to Zero, leaving us only able to piece them together thanks to her reactions. 

The big takeaway from Yuuki’s side of the first scene, in my humble opinion, is that she is deeply afraid that “something” regarding Zero’s feelings toward her has changed and that she will potentially lose him as a result. Perhaps what’s also going on is that she’s attempting to “fix” her behavior to please him enough to make him stay without having to actually address the underlying causes--the very things she needs to address to actually make her life better. 

The Knight Targeted

The second scene of VKM 13 offers a brief but welcome respite from the failing KM arc-redux of Zero and Yuuki’s current relationship. 

My favorite part of the chapter is the single page where Yuuki’s butterfly is clinging to Zero’s head while his coworkers have a good laugh at his expense. It’s a sweet, intimate scene which emphasizes the love and respect the people who surround him have for him. 

What’s interesting about Yuuki’s butterfly is how cheerful Hino makes sure to establish it being. In Japanese, you’d describe the screentones she uses as “fuwafuwa,” so fluffy and airy are they. They give off an aura of pleasure and delight rather than fear or worry--it very much reads as a Yuuki who was “pleased” by her boyfriend’s “performance” the previous evening, despite the fact that all he did was give her a little skinship like in the old days. 

More seriously, Zero is unmoved by the butterfly’s presence, and he himself is clearly not flying high or in any altered state of delight. This difference is key in clueing us in on his state of mind continuing from the previous scene--whatever Yuuki got out of their interaction, Zero didn’t receive a similar benefit. He remains his traditional stoic self. It’s important to note that we don’t get to see his expression, either. Hino is very careful to hide Zero’s expressions during the last few scenes of this chapter.

The focus of the scene, of course, is his coworkers’ antics. They attribute the butterfly’s presence to Yuuki keeping an eye on his office misadventures, and perhaps there is more truth to that than Yuuki would ever let on. On the surface level, of course, she is merely being hyper-protective of him for admittedly legitimate reasons. 

Regardless, it’s a nice little scene that demonstrates Yuuki does at least care in some sense for the man she’s been deliberately mistreating for 70+ years. It’s a short-lived moment, as Zero is called away to meet with an unregistered vampire who’s been brought in for questioning.

Zero’s first question establishes an interesting fact about this newcomer--he “let” himself be brought in without a fight. This implies he’s a plant of some kind, meant to perform a specific function. This’ll become more evident as the conversation rolls on. 

The vampire is quite an interesting chap. He begins by insinuating that Zero’s a fallen member of vampiric society--a vampire who won’t accept that he’s a vampire, a tamed dog of humans. He states he’s not working for anyone, nor is he the culprit of the original bombing the Hunters are investigating from VKM 12. 

Zero says the guy has a bomb and goes to check. Yuuki’s butterfly tries to interfere with Zero’s operations, but Zero pushes past it. As soon as Zero reveals that the vampire has a bomb grafted into his stomach, he instinctively moves to get the two detectives to safety as the vampire unleashes the bomb.

Before I move on to speculating who the mastermind of all of this might be, I’d like to do a little round of speculation as to what’s going on here:

Zero brought up an interesting fact in the first scene of VKM 13--that the culprit of the original bombing (and mastermind) might be either a Pureblood or a former member of the Hunter Association, perhaps a disgruntled one. (Zero doesn’t imply this, but it’s also possible it could be a team of these two, much like the original collaboration between Rido and the Hunter President during arc 1.)

Here are the basic facts we know:

We know that the first bombing “conveniently” happened near Ruka and Kain. By itself, this doesn’t necessarily indicate Ruka and Kain were targets, but given VKM 13 it’s highly likely they were chosen on purpose. 

We know that the perpetrator is spreading the rumor that he is the “Vampire King.”

We know the unregistered vampire in VKM 13 allowed himself to be caught and specifically waited (and perhaps even requested, though this isn’t stated) for Zero’s presence in the room before setting off the bomb. He didn’t have a message for Zero or any of the detectives--he only made sure to insult Zero and establish that he was an independent actor before setting the bomb off. This, coupled with the Ruka/Kain incident from VKM 12, tips the scales in favor of these attacks being targeted toward someone related to Zero or Yuuki in particular.

With these facts in mind, here are our potential mastermind perpetrators:

1.) An Unknown Disgruntled Pureblood from Kaname’s Murder Spree Days

The easiest and most obvious choice for a culprit would be something along the lines of a disgruntled Pureblood from Kaname’s murder spree days back in the original series who is now targeting Yuuki specifically because of her efforts to bring about equality.

This is potentially a good fit because:

Purebloods can manipulate lesser vampires easily, which would enable them to create a variety of servants to unleash on people Yuuki loves.

Kaname’s former activity created quite a bit of animosity that was never truly resolved.

The use of Kaname’s title “Vampire King” would mean nothing to most humans/vampires at this point--only Yuuki and Kaname’s former associates would be bothered by it.

The unregistered vampire in VKM 13 specifically waited for Zero, Yuuki’s current love interest.

The main problem I see with this possible perpetrator is that it’s nearly 100 years since Kaname became the forge, and the attacks are geared toward making humans upset with vampires (something that would not be advantageous to a Pureblood). 

The other problems I see are more related to the narrative itself. Hino doesn’t spend much time on politics unless they further the love triangle itself. The only reasons I can think of to have a Pureblood at the center of the conflict, especially a Pureblood who is a nobody as far as the original series is concerned (unless Hino is bringing back Touma or that mysterious woman from Night 91-92 who was leading the rebellion against Kaname) are the following:

It may force Yuuki to come to terms with the damage Kaname caused and her own role within it, that she’s been avoiding thanks to Zero’s efforts. 

It may give a platform for Hino to fully explore the Master/Servant bond between Kaname and Yuuki by using a Pureblood manipulating another Pureblood after becoming their master--which is something Hino put back on the table with the revisions to VKM 9. 

Other than the above two reasons, I think the likelihood that the perpetrator is merely some random disgruntled Pureblood is fairly weak. The activities of these terrorists seem detrimental to vampiric society as a whole, unless the Pureblood in question just wants to have a world where humans fear vampires and vampires have to continue living in shadows. 

2.) An Unknown Disgruntled Hunter who Dislikes Zero and Yuuki

Option two for our mastermind perpetrator is some unknown hunter who for reasons so far unstated dislikes Zero’s activities or Yuuki’s or both. The reasons in favor of such a character are as follows:

Zero specifically mentions the possibility of a former hunter being the culprit, which is the only “new” information we get out of VKM 13′s first scene.

The attacks lead to outcomes favorable to the anti-vampire society that’s sprung up in the wake of vampires coming into the light thanks to Yuuki’s efforts. Anxiety among humans is rising. 

The targets of the attacks so far have been vampires--Zero, Ruka and Kain are vampiric. As far as we know, no one has yet died from these attacks, nor have any humans been specifically targeted.

The perpetrator spreads the name “Vampire King” in order to draw the public’s anxiety toward vampires.

Even with all of these ideas, however, this possibility remains a weak one to me simply because an unregistered vampire is involved, and humans (even former hunters) would have no ability to compel free vampires to help with this activity--and certainly not to sacrifice their lives for it. On top of this, most of the humans Zero’s worked with would have normal human lifespans and would be old or nearing death (certainly the ones who knew Kaname would be). We also haven’t seen any hints that Zero has trouble with anyone at work--only VKM 11 hinted that Kaien did. As such, I don’t think a random disgruntled former hunter will end up being the true culprit.

3.) A Former Hunter/Pureblood Combination of Unknown Characters

This seems the most likely to me at the moment, both as a credible threat to Zero and Yuuki (another Hunter/Pureblood team) and from a narrative perspective. If the two sides are working together in order to perpetuate the war for their own nefarious purposes--the Hunter wanting to preserve tradition and the Pureblood wanting to prevent the humanizing of vampires, perhaps--this would work well with the narrative and would also be a nice counterpoint to Zero and Yuuki’s story because it would offer the necessary counter argument to Zero and Yuuki’s coexistence efforts. 

All the facts of the case fall into place as well:

People close to Yuuki such as Ruka, Kain, and Zero being specifically targeted fits with a Pureblood who disapproves of her efforts being involved.

The use of the “Vampire King” moniker and the curious absence of human casualties implies a former hunter who would care about human life is somehow involved.

The use of a “free agent” unregistered vampire who despises tamed vampires like Zero would fit better with a Pureblood perpetrator than a Hunter, as a vampire who despises humans likely wouldn’t be willing to work with a Hunter. 

Zero’s comment in VKM 13 highlighting both disgruntled hunters and purebloods would have significant relevance. 

Yori’s comments to Aidou in VKM 12 about how humans have as much darkness within them as vampires would align with this. 

Unfortunately, the downsides of this option for the culprit are the same as #1-2, mainly that we’ve never met any disgruntled Purebloods or Hunters, so we have virtually no investment in these new villains. Their threat seems hardly credible as we don’t have any idea who they might be. At the moment they seem more a menace or a nuisance than anything, which makes Yuuki’s fears seem overblown. Hino is usually better about establishing what her villains are up to, even during the admittedly failed Sara arc. So far we’ve never met anyone acting evil for the sake of evil within the current timeline of VKM. This lowers the reader’s investment in this plotline and doesn’t help for raising the stakes. 

Which leaves us with the potential fourth option for the culprit(s), which while on the surface is unlikely, may be the ticket to a successful story.

4.) Kaien (a former disgruntled hunter) and/or Isaya (a Pureblood)

I can’t take credit for this theory, as it’s @soulisthirsty‘s, but I think it has a lot of merit even though at first it sounds implausible. Before writing off the theory, please consider the following points:

On Kaien:

We know that during the original series Kaien placed Kaname’s life and safety at a premium above Zero’s and even Yuuki’s toward the end of the series, once Yuuki had taken Zero’s memories. 

We know that for some reason Yuuki “fell out” with Kaien because in VKM 11 he tries several manipulative tactics using his illness to get her to spend time with him. 

We know Kaien failed in almost all of his goals, including the ones that Juri had specifically requested of him. 

We know that Kaien calls Yuuki and Kaname by their first names, but calls Zero by his last name still. 

We know that Kaien “told” Yuuki in VKM 12 that he was going to do “something” for his love.

We know Kaien at least believes he is dying. 

We know the “attacks” began occurring right after Kaien mysteriously disappears. 

With all these facts in mind, however, what would Kaien’s motive be? Ultimately he’d need a reason, and in VKM 11 he seems to still care very much for Yuuki and seems relatively accepting of Zero and Yuuki together, right?

Well there’s where I think we may be assessing him incorrectly. Yes, Kaien loves Yuuki, but he also loves Kaname. This is purely speculation, but I feel the reason Hino chose to show VKM 11 was specifically to highlight the differences between Kaien and Zero, and to show that Kaien may have some animus toward Zero because of those differences. 

Consider the following:

Kaien met Juri after she and Haruka were together. He was forced to accept that they were “meant to be” and that his love would be unrequited. The “true love” Kuran pairing remained intact with no interference from Kaien.

Zero met Yuuki before she and Kaname were together. He was not forced to accept that he and Yuuki weren’t “meant to be” and in fact was the very reason for Kaname’s downfall and the “destruction” of the “true love” Kuran pairing.

Kaien’s sympathies with the Kurans and the Purebloods in general turned him into a pariah who was rejected by the Hunters.

Zero’s sympathies with Yuuki and the vampires had no effect on the respect his Hunter associates had for him, in fact he’s clearly beloved because he’s clear about his boundaries. (Zero’s even dating a Pureblood and openly associates with Nobles such as Aidou.)

Kaien tried to achieve coexistence with Kaname and failed.

Zero tried to achieve coexistence with Yuuki and so far is succeeding.

Given the above, and given Kaien’s propensity to push Yuuki and Kaname together, it is quite possible Kaien bears a great deal of animus toward Zero for “breaking up” his ship. I believe Kaien was projecting himself onto Zero and Haruka and Juri onto Kaname and Yuuki. Thus, Zero “didn’t know his place” and destroyed the very thing Kaien thought was sacred because he himself never tried to get between Haruka and Juri. The difference between him and Zero is that Zero tried (at least in Kaien’s perception). Not only this, but Zero also took Kaien’s “place” within the Hunters’ organization and achieved better results than Kaien. 

On top of all of this, Kaien’s beloved Kaname is “dead” for all intents and purposes and he along with Takuma are both invested in restoring the Kurans to glory, especially with Ai involved. Notice that Kaien did not invite Zero on the “dates” with Yuuki and Ai he envisioned in VKM 11--despite Zero being in the room and very clearly being at Yuuki’s side. 

If Kaien wants to restore Kaname and if he wants to put the Kurans back together, he needs to remove the obstacle--Zero. (This is quite an interesting theory in light of Ai specifically asking Kaien to be her ally.) The best way to do this is to create a scenario where Zero would be put in danger and killed without anything being traceable to Kaien. How is Kaien to do this? Well fortunately he has a friend who has always been a little dubious in the line of morality--Isaya. 

How Isaya fits in and why:

Isaya has shown himself to be more than capable of helping people with questionable motives if he gets something out of it. He was more than willing to go along with Kaname’s plan despite actually meeting Yuuki and talking to her prior to meeting with Kaname. He never once questions Kaname’s plan in light of what he knows of Yuuki. If Kaien brings to him a similar plan, Isaya has no reason to fight against it. 

Isaya, as a Pureblood, would easily be able to create servants or order regular vampires to set off bombs (remember, in the first attack in VKM 12 we have no idea who set the bomb or whether or not there was even anyone sacrificed--only the VKM 13 did a vampire kill himself over it). 

We also know that Isaya “disappears” thanks to the original epilogue of VK 93. This is pretty grey territory for his fate. It places him potentially in a good position to be an accomplice to Kaien.

Problems with the Kaien/Isaya theory:

There are obvious problems with this theory, of course. The first and most obvious is that both Kaien and Isaya are for the most part pacifistic--Kaien fights when necessary, but rarely does he instigate conflict, and we saw him working with Yori to help establish that vampires are no more dangerous than humans in VKM. Isaya also has been seen actively working with Yuuki in VKM itself. Causing strife among the vampires and humans would directly work against everything Kaien had previously been attempting to accomplish. 

However, Kaien does admit his life hasn’t been a success and he’s nearing the end of his life in VKM 12. This might change his perspective on his pacifism, especially with Kaname’s comatose state in the balance and the potential of Zero successfully “scoring” Yuuki rising now that they’ve announced they’re going official. If Kaien’s real issue with Zero and Yuuki is that he can’t accept a child between them because Yuuki is Kaname’s in his mind, then their relationship being official would be an extra push he’d need.  

Despite how far-fetched this theory is, I’d love it if it was true, as it settles once and for all Kaien’s place in the story and also gives us a genuinely credible villain for the VKM saga rather than some new faceless/nameless Purebloods/Hunters to contend with. This would seriously up the stakes for Yuuki and Zero as well, as it’s much harder to fight people you love than people you don’t even know. 

All this being said, we probably won’t know for a while, which means all options are still on the table (and perhaps there are more that even I haven’t thought of--actual humans maybe or nobles or regular vampires in revolt). But for now all we know is that the bombings are beginning to stir up some civil unrest and likely will have detrimental consequences. 

Inverse Reflections

Normally I would skip the side pairing sections, as I tend to find them tedious, but this time I think it’s important to take a look at what Hino’s setting up with these side pairings, and what they mean for the lead pairings that they mirror.

First, let’s talk a bit about mirrors. There are two kinds of mirrors--one that foreshadows the future of a pairing (a parallel) and a true reflection of that pairing (an inverse mirror). A reflection, as everyone knows, is a reversed image--left becomes right and right becomes left. 

As far as I can tell, most of the side pairings in VKM are being used as parallels to Zero and Yuuki as a couple--Aidou/Yori, Haruka/Juri, and Shiki/Rima have all been used to highlight aspects of the Zero/Yuuki pairing that either confirm the pairing is the intended choice of the author or foreshadow struggles and conflicts Zero and Yuuki will have to overcome in the future. 

Ruka/Kain are not meant to be Zero/Yuuki parallels--they are rather an inverse mirror. They are what Zero and Yuuki would have been had this story truly been a “Yuuki loved Kaname first and settled for Zero” narrative. All the beats they go through as a couple are beats Zero and Yuuki should be hitting if Yuuki is just settling for Zero. Yet every time Ruka and Kain hit an emotional or narrative beat, Yuuki and Zero fail to meet them, and often do the opposite. 

Here are some quick examples of what I mean, taken from previous chapters:

In VKM 3, Ruka admits to Ai that she loved Kaname and that he broke her heart. Kain steals her away from Ai and firmly tells her to cut out her moping and pay attention only to him already. If Zero and Yuuki were meant to be paralleled with this couple, this is what Zero would have done with Yuuki--however Zero does not. Instead, we see in VKM 9 and VKM 1 that Zero doesn’t ask Yuuki to stop pining and look at him; instead he tells her he’s fine with her love for Kaname.

In VKM 6, Ruka gushes over dressing Ai, and Kain tells her to hurry up and sleep with him already if she likes kids so much, for which he gets punched. Zero does the opposite--he says nothing at all about children and family to Yuuki. In VKM 3, Yuuki is the one apologizing to Zero for not being able to have a child with him. If Zero were truly in Kain’s position, he should be pestering Yuuki and putting a little pressure on her; she’s already settling for him, so he might as well get something decent out of it. The fact that he doesn’t puts another notch in the differences between him and Yuuki and Ruka and Kain.

In VKM 12, Ruka makes the mistake of thinking her situation with Kain is the same as Yuuki’s with Zero. She offers some solidarity, saying that it’s hard to move forward with someone you’ve been close to for a long time. Ordinarily, this would symbolize that she and Yuuki are meant to parallel each other. However, we see this isn’t the case with the remainder of the chapter. Kain gets hurt, and Ruka immediately demands they tie the knot. Zero being in danger doesn’t have this effect on Yuuki--instead, it just makes her spy on him more frequently. So if Yuuki’s meant to parallel Ruka, Zero being in danger should have been the “moment” that made her realize she needed to go ahead and tie the knot--they’re already dating, after all. 

Ruka and Kain don’t appear much in VKM, so I don’t have too many other examples, but I think we have enough to establish that they’re meant to be an inverse mirror of Zero and Yuuki, a sign of what Zero and Yuuki might have been had the story gone the route of Yuuki truly loving Kaname and “settling” for Zero. 

I’m sure people will argue against my interpretation of Ruka and Kain, but as far as I can tell Ruka never had a moment where she legitimately “fell” for Kain. We know it is a fact that Ruka was romantically interested in Kaname, not Kain, for all of the original series, despite him breaking her heart. It’s clear she’s settling for Kain, and Kain himself accepts this and doesn’t seem inclined to fight it. She and Kain are close, of course, because they’re cousins, but that closeness makes it difficult for her to see him as a romantic partner. However, and this is what’s important about the fact that Ruka’s an inverse mirror to Yuuki, Ruka still moves on and lets herself be happy with Kain even though he is not the one she truly loves. Yuuki does not do the same. 

So, with that all established and out of my system, let’s take a gander at the Ruka/Kain section of VKM 13. =P 

The first scene is another inverse mirror of Zero and Yuuki. Ruka is a super tsuntsun, but an obvious one. She proudly shows Kain where she wants their wedding to be held, but apparently never took the time to tell him she even wanted a legitimate ceremony. When Kain laughs and asks her if that’s what she wants, she gets flustered. At first she denies that she wants a ceremony with him, but then she quickly admits it and orders him to go along with it. Kain’s of course happy to comply, but he receives a tsundere response to his genuine affection. It’s clear, though, that Ruka is happy, even if this wasn’t her first choice. It’s a sweet, cute scene typical of happy couples. 

This is a clear contrast to Zero and Yuuki’s relationship, where neither of them can smile genuinely or goofe around for longer than a single panel, where Yuuki isn’t demanding of Zero, where Zero isn’t demanding of Yuuki, where neither of them are comfortable with each other enough to make these cute demands and boss each other around. Zero and Yuuki used to be like this, in their early days during arc 1, and that’s something Ruka and Kain do parallel a bit here, but Zero and Yuuki have lost that ability to just enjoy each other’s company without any care. Yuuki doesn’t honestly say what she wants, so she’s not a true parallel to Ruka, and Zero isn’t in a place where he can be even remotely as honest as Kain is--and Kain still holds back too, so that’s really saying something.

That being established, we then move into the wedding, where we receive an inverse parallel that’s foreshadowing a different future for Zero and Yuuki.

Ruka and Kain have their wedding, and it’s quite lovely (especially Ruka’s hair). However, there are a few things that are important to note:

This is the first wedding we as readers have been invited to. Although Aidou and Yori were married many, many years ago, we weren’t invited. This is likely on purpose--Aidou and Yori are a genuine parallel to Zero and Yuuki, and the very couple Zero aspires to be like in his future with Yuuki. We likely won’t get to see this couple’s wedding until Zero and Yuuki finally get to a better place. Thus, it’s fitting that the first wedding we see is the inverse mirror couple’s wedding.

Their wedding vows are horrendous. Seriously. They’re fitting for a pair not born of genuine love, and very fitting for a “settling” pairing. If Zero and Yuuki are meant to be a settling pairing, their vows should definitely be more in line with Kain’s and Ruka’s than regular vows (you know, with the whole “love, cherish through sickness and in health” variety).

Kain’s wedding vow is merely that he’ll protect Ruka. Not even that he’ll love her or cherish her. All he can “give” her that she’s willing to receive is protection. That’s kinda sad, and I hope Zero gets better.

Ruka’s wedding vow is even worse than Kain’s, if that’s even possible. She basically spells out in her vows that she’s settling for him and she hopes he can settle for her in return. All she says is that he’s been someone she can lean on who’s brought some warmth into her life, and she hopes she can return the favor. Surely the most romantic wedding vow in history (not). Not a word about loving or cherishing or anything remotely romantic. 

Seriously the “until we become dust” silliness sounds like a cult initiation more than anything. I know Hino’s trying to replace “til death do us part” but goodness. Also, I’m so grateful for that hilarious image Hino drew of Aidou bawling over the wedding--he looks like he’s facepalming more than crying. =P Perfect for my header!

I don’t want to knock the wedding too much--it’s quite lovely for what it is, and it’s meant to be a highlight of the chapter and bring a little fluff and romance into the what’s otherwise a heavy chapter. But my point in bringing all this up is to demonstrate that Ruka and Kain’s relationship serves to highlight where Zero and Yuuki should be in their relationship if Yuuki’s “issues” are truly just that she’s having trouble moving on from Kaname. So this should be a warning to anyone reading the story that way, that Zero and Yuuki aren’t following the same path--they’re on a different trajectory. 

Interlude: Yuuki’s Reactions

At this point, I will no longer being using images for my section headers because I have a distinct distaste for the remainder of the chapter (and Hino plasters speech bubbles all over the panels, making them unusable anyway).

But I want to take a little time to discuss Yuuki’s reactions in general and why her reaction this chapter is significant. 

Back when VKM 9 came out, I was furious because Yuuki spent 50 years dragging her heels and treating Zero like a blood bag babysitter and a general doormat. VKM 13 confirmed that I was right to be concerned about all of this. 

In VKM 9, Yuuki has several scenes where she gets mopey-faced, and Zero notices them. They’re from Zero’s perspective of course, in VKM 9. But all the mopey-faced scenes are deliberately drawn to be ambiguous references to Kaname. The first one is on the bench after Ai’s “teething,” and this is the “clearest” because Yuuki makes the face and starts crying right after talking about Ai being Kaname’s. The second, of course, is when Aidou grieving before Yori’s coffin in the same chapter, and Yuuki clutches her heart and then peeks at Zero. Because we’re in Zero’s perspective in VKM 9, he does not read her mopey face there as pro-Zeki--he reads it as pro-Kaname. The reason she looked down and clutched her heart is because that’s what she does when she thinks of Kaname (see VKM 3, VKM 8′s flashback, etc.), and the reason she peeked at Zero was (from Zero’s perspective) because she was checking to see if he’d noticed. The pro-Zeki read of this scene obviously is that Aidou’s words made Yuuki think of Zero, and that she looked up at him because she was thinking of him, but that’s not how Zero reads the scene (and nor how we should be reading the scene right now). We also know from VKM 7 that she makes a similar expression when thinking about Kaname while brushing Ai’s hair before the ball.

VKM 13 continues what VKM 9 began. During the wedding vows, particularly during the “until we become dust” sections, Yuuki���s expression shifts to her traditional Kaname-mope face and she looks down with a bittersweet expression. Now, there are two ways to take this, and one is the way Zero takes it and the other is the way pro-Zeki readers take it:

The way pro-Zeki readers would understand this scene is to take Yuuki at her word from later on in the chapter--she was sad that Zero might die and the words about becoming dust merely triggered that concern. Perhaps she was also sad about the fact that Zero could say such a vow, but she can’t because she can’t promise him to become dust together, as she’s immortal and he is not. 

The way Zero, Zeki critics, and pro-Kaname readers would take this scene is the way it’s likely intended given how consistent Hino’s been with this particular expression of Yuuki’s (every time I personally see it in VKM it makes my skin crawl, which is a tell tale sign it’s Kaname-related), is to see this as Yuuki thinking about Kaname. Whether she was moping because she was sad that she and Kaname never had the chance to make vows like Ruka and Kain, or because she and Kaname could never even get to the point Ruka and Kain did, or for any other Kaname-related reason, it’s anyone’s guess. 

As for why the pro-Zeki read likely doesn’t work in my opinion (despite what Yuuki says later, which I will address in the next section), Yuuki doesn’t look at Zero. She looks down and inward. She’s not seeing the man beside her, who’s alive and quite well. Instead she’s seeing something within her, which is more typical of her moping about Kaname than moping about Zero hypothetically kicking the bucket. Again, it is of course possible that Zero has her pegged wrong and she’s genuinely just been moping about Zero for 70 years for...reasons...even though he was right there beside her the whole time, but given her need to bring Kaname up even during her “confession” in VKM 9, methinks it be unlikely. However, for now we’ll leave it at the two possible interpretations--as far as the story currently goes, both interpretations are valid until further notice. 

Before I leave the wedding scene, I just want to say it’s pretty suspicious that Hino doesn’t show any Zero reaction shots and that the only panel we get of his feelings about weddings is a small panel where half his face is cut off. Hino’s pretty careful about keeping him out of sight, out of mind. We’re not allowed to see how much things bother him, or how he feels about his own prospects. (Seriously Zero just marry Aidou already; you both look so cute standing next to each other.)

And now, we’re ready for the grand finale. Hold on to your seat belts, friends; it’s going to be a wild ride, I’m sure. 

All Saints Must Fall

There is a lot to cover here, so I’ll be breaking it into subsections. Needless to say, if this scene had been removed from the chapter it’d have been a great chapter. But sadly this scene is here, and it is what it is, so what could have been a nice fluff chapter became...well, this little whirling dervish of controversy. Regardless, here we are, so let’s start by tackling the various ways the scene can be interpreted before getting into why I interpret it the way I do. 

The Surface Read

The surface read of this scene is sketch at best. It’s hard to take it seriously, but I’ll address it for the sake of completion. It reads as follows: 

Yuuki muses about the Ruka and Kain’s wedding being lovely. Zero comes out of the shower and initially asks Yuuki to have it out with him now. Yuuki is confused. Zero clarifies, informing her he noticed her moping at the ceremony. He then pounces on her, startling her, and demands she tell him. Yuuki admits that she was thinking about wishing for him to live on, that she always thinks this during funerals or key events, and that she believes it’s a curse to wish this upon him. She admits her wish is selfish but admits she’s afraid of him passing away.

Zero is surprised, but says that her feelings are something she’s cursing herself with. He tells her to give him her blood, and then bites her in several places, reiterating that he wants to grant her her wish. He asks her to be by his side at the end of his life and tell him she was happy. Yuuki reiterates that he should take her beastly blood in. Zero then curses himself and asks why her blood’s irresistible. 

The surface interpretation goes like this: Zero got bothered by Yuuki’s expression at the wedding and asks her what’s up. When she tells him, he is surprised. Her fears activate his own fears, and he tries to “reassure” her by biting her all over the place. Yuuki “consents” to this after he’s already done it, and he confesses that he wants her blood because his love is overwhelming him. 

Okay, this was quite possibly the most cringe-worthy drivel I’ve suffered myself to write in ages. But let me pick it apart at a base level before I move on to get to what’s really going on in this scene:

If this scene is truly just about Zero catching Yuuki’s fears and heightening his own fears in response to hers, his actions don’t make any sense. Why would he bite her all over the place irresponsibly to the point where she’s clutching her shirt to keep it from exposing her boobs if he just wants to drink her blood to alleviate either her fears of him dying or her own? After all, he’s been drinking her blood for years--drinking her blood isn’t going to save him from an explosion. 

Moreover, Zero has never been shown to be afraid for his life. Even after the conversation with Aidou in VKM 12, or after the explosion in VKM 13, Zero doesn’t appear afraid, unless he’s just hiding his fear under a poker face. Him merely “catching” Yuuki’s fear in this scene and overreacting doesn’t work as an interpretation simply because that’s not how fear works. That’s panic, and Zero doesn’t appear to be panicking. Fear is something that should be rooted deeply within him, and Zero’s never been particularly concerned about the lifespan issues--even back when Yuuki was genuinely worrying about them in Night 88, Zero brushed it off like it was nothing. 

If we’re meant to interpret this as Zero reassuring Yuuki that all will be well and her fears are unfounded, well, he’s not doing a very good job. Yuuki does not look reassured at the end of the scene--she looks depressed. Zero himself doesn’t look reassured at the end of the scene. He also offers not a single word of reassurance--he blames Yuuki for her own fears (her curse is of her own making, not something he validates), and he mocks her own phrasing when he demands her blood. This is not how we’ve seen Zero reassure her in previous chapters--VKM 5′s gentle reassurance, VKM 8′s confidence, VKM 13′s first scene’s intimacy. Zero knows how to reassure properly, and VKM 13′s final scene is not an example of that. 

On top of this, we have the idea that Yuuki “consented” to Zero’s treatment of her this chapter. She never once consented. Silence is not consent. I’m not one of those folks who thinks consent has to be verbal, mind you, but Yuuki lies passively in all the panels other than when she’s wincing in pain. Zero doesn’t ask her, he demands and takes. Yuuki never once smiles, never once reciprocates, never once touches him during the biting and even goes so far as to clutch her shirt to keep it from slipping--hardly an act welcoming of intimacy. In one panel it looks like she may even be trying to push Zero’s hand away from where it is on her exposed stomach. This is not an act of mutual passion or mutual fear or a mutual coming together to alleviate anxieties. This is a purely aggressive act on Zero’s part that Yuuki, for whatever reason, is not fighting--and note, Yuuki may have a great many reasons not to fight that have nothing to do with enjoying what Zero’s doing to her. (More on this later.) Yuuki’s expression when she “consents” after the fact is pained and unhappy, akin to her expressions during the Kuran Manor arc with Kaname. Hino even uses dark screen tones in that panel, and Yuuki insults her own blood. 

So basically, the “pro-Zeki” surface read of this scene is, in my opinion, grossly reductionist and fails to account for the basic facts. To hold this position, one would either have to be blind and unable to see the panels or read the words, or reading with rose-tinted glasses. This is why I can’t get behind anyone who thinks this is merely a “dark passion” scene, which I’d like to speak on presently before I move to deeper interpretive layers.

Romance vs. Dark Vampire Passion/Eroticism

I firmly believe that some of my fellow compatriots are misunderstanding the difference between genuine passion/romance and this “dark vampire passion”/eroticism. This I place firmly in the Kaname apologists’ court for creating this problem in the first place--they were the first to try to use “dark vampire passion” as an excuse for the abuse in their scenes during the Kuran Manor arc of the original series. 

“Dark passion” is nothing more than eroticism, which merely means “this scene is sexualized and meant to titillate the reader.” Almost every scene between Kaname and Yuuki is erotically charged, but very few of those scenes are correspondingly romantic. This is quite common in fiction about abuse and nonconsensual situations--you see it frequently in stories like Berserk, where dark situations have erotic panels. I honestly find this sick on the part of many mangaka, but I understand why it’s there--manga is a medium meant to be enjoyed, and rape/abuse aren’t enjoyable to a reader, so a little eroticism is added in order to make the scenes more palatable. 

The final scene in VKM is eroticized, which actually helps a reader to downplay the real harm this scene is causing to the heroine. Rather than looking at her expressions and paying attention to the pain she’s going through, the panels are drawn deliberately to evoke sexuality. This makes it easier to excuse for the reader, because the reader is not focused on the character’s pain--the reader is merely enjoying the erotic content in a voyeuristic fashion. In a sense, the reader is more sympathetic to the abuser when scenes are framed this way, and this I place firmly in Hino’s camp as far as blame goes.

Romantic scenes are framed and displayed differently than VKM 13′s final scene. Genuinely romantic scenes of course often have sexualized content and even erotic content in the case of smut stories from magazines like Cheese!, but the erotic content is very clearly mutual, consensual, and loving between the characters on top of being titillating for the reader. The only panel in VKM 13′s final scene that is even remotely romantic is the single panel of Yuuki stroking Zeros face when she confesses that her wish for him to live on is selfish. This is even before all the controversial content takes place. The following panels are merely eroticized. 

This is why I can’t buy the “dark passionate vampires” excuse for the scene, because we’ve seen this song and dance before, and it was used to do the exact same thing--allow the readers to ‘excuse’ the male perpetrator using “romance” as a shield, when really it’s just the reader being titillated by erotic posing choices by the mangaka. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the scene on a sexual level--everyone has some risque non-con content that they’ve enjoyed. But that doesn’t make the scene consensual, romantic, or loving just because the reader is titillated by it. 

And last, before I close on this, Zero and Yuuki are supposed to be a radiant, joyful ship. If they’re descending into eroticized “dark passion,” we have a problem. 

The Close-up Subtext Read

I won’t cover this read too deeply, as @soulisthirsty has covered this far more thoroughly on her @vampireknightmeta blog than I have the time or the inclination to address. For those interested in her perspective, you will find her posts on the matter here and here. 

This is the read I expect most Zeki-apologists will eventually agree with once they accept that their surface read of the scene doesn’t account for all the facts and is woefully inadequate. My own reading of the scene is from a higher meta perspective, but that also means I must make assumptions that the chapter-specialized read does not (giving the close-up subtext read more flexibility in case Hino goes off the rails). 

A quick recap of what the close-up subtext read breaks down to:

Zero has been stewing on Yuuki’s moping at the ceremony ever since he noticed it, all through his shower, and comes out of the shower ready to tackle the matter and already frustrated (we can tell by the creases in his brow, Zero’s tell-tale frustration expression). Whatever he’s been stewing on is unknown at the moment. 

Yuuki initially is confused, and Zero snaps at her, calling out the specific moment so that she doesn’t try to dodge the subject. When Yuuki is slow to respond, he pounces on her, demanding she tell him. Yuuki is initially startled, and Zero softens his approach but still insists.

Yuuki admits to him her wish that he’d live on, and that she thinks about it whenever a friend dies or a big event happens. She has a strange reaction to what she’s saying, and then she touches his face and tells him that her wish is nothing but a curse for him. Zero’s expression shows shock; whatever he was anticipating was her problem was not this. 

Yuuki goes on to admit that she knows she’s selfish for getting all worked up over Zero’s imminent death on her own. Zero then tells her that the only one who’s suffering under her curse is her, and that if that���s really what’s bothering her, she should go ahead and give him her cursed blood. 

He then goes on to bite her without consent in multiple places, pushing her shirt up. While he’s biting her and splattering blood, he reiterates that he wants to push “that day” far into the future if he’s the one who can do that for her. “That day” is left deliberately ambiguous so it could be interpreted in multiple ways--either Zero’s own death, or Yuuki’s death by turning Kaname. 

Zero holds Yuuki and asks her to be by his side at the end of his days and tell him she was happy. Yuuki says that if that’s what he wants, he needs to drink as much as he can of her blood. Zero’s response is that he’s unable to stop and that her blood is so delicious it’s irresistible. 

This interpretation boils down to a case of misunderstanding. Zero’s been stewing over “something” that’s clearly been eating at him for longer than the ceremony, but the ceremony is the first chance he’s had to address it. Yuuki on the other hand is getting herself all worked up over him dying because she’s afraid to be alone (as we know from VKM 9′s confession). 

In this framework, the reason Zero doesn’t reassure Yuuki is because her fixation on his death and her view of her own blood imply that she doesn’t believe he’s truly accepted her. His frustration and his mocking her in this context would be related to the fact that he’s done everything possible to show her he accepts her as she is and loves her as she is, and that he’s at a loss for how to ease her fears. Thus, the reason he goes overboard with the biting is more about him being frustrated that she’s not really even seeing him--she’s only seeing her image of him that has nothing to do with reality (this would be backed up by VKM 13′s earlier scene, where Yuuki brings up Zero’s real feelings about vampires in addition to VKM 9′s confession where Yuuki asks him if he’ll date her despite her being a Pureblood). 

This framework allows for this to be a simple misunderstanding--Zero perhaps thinks his feelings aren’t reaching Yuuki and Yuuki is so hyper aware of Zero’s fate that she can’t relax and enjoy her present with him. Potentially Yuuki’s obsession with brooding and dwelling on the bad is starting to get on Zero’s nerves with this interpretation, and he’s lashing out because nothing he does seems to help Yuuki view the world and their relationship with a more positive lens. 

As far as interpretations go, I think this is a fine one, and quite in line with this chapter in isolation. It’s also a safe bet right now, because we don’t have any future information to clarify it yet. As far as we’re aware, the only “issue” between Zero and Yuuki at this point merely is Yuuki’s fears about Zero’s death (confirmed by VKM 12 and VKM 13). So I believe this is a safe interpretation to have in light of where we currently are, though it doesn’t quite go far enough for me. However, it certainly lines up with the facts and there is no direct evidence to dispute its validity yet. As with the interpretations for the potential identity of the Vampire King, this interpretation has no holes as of yet. The issues between Zero and Yuuki may, at this current time, simply be about their lack of communication and their general character flaws. 

I wish I myself could get behind this variant, but alas, I must go deeper. For those who can’t follow me further due to the leaps I’ll have to make based on lack of information, I’d say stopping at this layer is a good place to rest, no matter what “camp” you’re in. @soulisthirsty makes a compelling case for this interpretation, and it’s easy to back up. 

But now it is time to delve deeper. I’d recommend leaving now if you’re the type to get triggered easily. But if you’ve made it this far, I’m going to assume you’re here until the end. 

Artistic Intent

The reason I can’t get behind the close-up subtext read is there’s far too much going on beneath the surface, and in light of other chapters, than what that read allows for in my humble opinion. But before I get into that, I’d like to discuss artistic intent before plunging headfirst into trouble.

Hino is a deliberate, filmic artist, more so than any other manga I’ve ever seen. Her artistic fundamentals are terrible (see her proportions), but she has a sharp sense of how to use the panels as if they were film shots, and to use them to great effect. She knows how to emphasize space and time, how to speed time up and slow it down, how to emphasize emotion or emphasize distance. To analyze a chapter without addressing this is a grave mistake, especially in such a carefully staged scene. 

In two previous posts, I discussed Yuuki’s flushes and Hino’s framing. These are two techniques Hino uses to convey tone. But there are other techniques Hino uses as well, and the one I didn’t mention in the posts above is the artful direction of dialogue bubble placement and coloring. 

If you look at VKM 13′s first scene, you’ll notice some interesting things about the bubble placement for the dialogue. Most of the panels’ artwork remains unobscured by dialogue bubbles, other than one small scene at the end where Zero is talking about who the perpetrator of the crimes might be. Otherwise, the reader is free to enjoy both the artwork and the dialogue, to fully see the characters interact and express themselves in each panel. This makes the scene easy to follow and understand for the reader.

Contrast this with VKM 13′s final scene and you’ll see the stark difference. Huge dialogue bubbles with oversized text are plastered all over the characters’ faces and expressions during an intense scene, adding to the confusion and havoc presented by the odd framing choices themselves. Key moments are obscured by dialogue bubbles, key expressions are cut off by them. This makes the scene hard to follow and understand for the reader.

Parsing a scene is an important feature in reading. If a scene isn’t clear and easy to follow, the reader has to work harder, and the writer risks losing the reader. For a writer to choose deliberately to make a scene difficult for a reader to follow means there’s something in that scene the writer wants the reader to pay attention to. The first VKM 13 Zeki scene is meant to be breezed through--the content is easy to assess and move through. The final scene is the opposite. It is meant to be pondered over and considered and reviewed, and it’s deliberately drawn to elicit feelings of confusion and chaos. 

Hino has her faults as a writer and an artist, but in this she’s flawless. She knows what she’s doing with scenes like this. But more on the contrast between VKM 13′s two bookend scenes later. For now, I shall present my own interpretation of the controversial last scene. 

The Bird’s Eye Meta Subtext Read

We’ve arrived at last. The moment everyone has likely been dreading. What, in GOTSB’s opinion, is going on in this scene?

By this point I’ve reiterated what happened on the surface more than enough. I won’t waste your time with repeating it. Instead, I’ll take you through the two reads: first Zero, then Yuuki. Just like what we did during the first scene in VKM 13.

Zero’s Jealousy and Outrage

Hino’s a sneak with Zero in the final two scenes of VKM 13. She doesn’t show us he noticed Yuuki’s downcast expression during the ceremony at all, nor how it affected him. Thus, we must make some assumptions based on how he behaves:

Yuuki starts talking to him the moment he exists the shower at the start of the scene, but she doesn’t face him. Rather than responding to her, he attacks first--”Let’s talk properly.”

The first words themselves are arguably just him broaching the subect, but the following words set the stage for why we can decipher what was going on in his head: “Didn’t we decide to start over from the beginning?” Why does this line matter? Because he’s bringing up something that has no relevance to what Yuuki was talking about (the wedding). He’s bringing up their restarted relationship and reminding her that “something” has changed because of that restart.

Yuuki goes “hmm?” Now, ordinarily one would interpret this as her just being confused that Zero’s demanding they talk when all she wanted to talk about was how nice the wedding was. But Zero does not interpret her words like this. His response to her is harsh and unusual for him--he basically tells her not to play dumb. We also get a close up of his face, and we can now see the tell-tale creases in his brow, demonstrating frustration.

He then says a few things that are quite interesting. He says there’s something she’s “always” wanted to say to him, and that he’s been waiting “forever” because he thought it was hard for her to talk about, but then she had to go and start brooding during the wedding. So in these two sentences, he implies a few things: 1.) whatever it is that he thinks has been bothering her didn’t just start at the wedding, 2.) her brooding faces bother him (and we can now confirm that her brooding in VKM 9 bothered him rather than making him feel honored as he tried to imply), 3.) he’s afraid of what she’s been meaning to say because he’s procrastinated asking her all this time, 4.) he’s finally caught her in a moment she can’t squirm her way out from and he can finally call her out on her behavior because they’re “official” now, so she can’t run away anymore based on her own decision.

He then jumps on her and slams her against the bed and yells in her face. When she gasps and freezes, he initially softens up, but then when she looks like she’s going to clam up he yells again. 

Before I move on, I want to parse this. I think it’s clear from the following scene that whatever Zero was stewing on ever since the ceremony, it has nothing to do with being afraid of his own death (Yuuki’s stated reason for why she herself was moping). This means what Zero was stewing on has to be something else. Process of elimination and analysis of previous chapters make this deduction simple: Zero has always been afraid the time might come when Yuuki will at last tell him that things aren’t working because she can’t move on from Kaname. Perhaps it is not this specifically, but his fear is clearly related to Kaname and to Yuuki’s feelings about Kaname and what they mean for him. 

How do I know this? Because if he didn’t care about Yuuki’s feelings about Kaname and what they meant for him in particular, he would behave more like Kain--he’d be trying to seduce her, reminding her that she was here in front of him, and teasing her into the present because he knows his place in her heart is forever Number Two and he’s accepted it. But Zero doesn’t react this way--he reacts like a man who expects to be Number One and doesn’t think he is. You don’t get mad if you’ve “accepted” being Number Two or Number Equal. And you certainly don’t get angry with your girlfriend for “moping” if you’re just confused about why she was moping. 

Of course, Zero is a coward and won’t bring up Kaname on his own, as we know from previous chapters. Thus he waits for Yuuki to drop the bomb on him. But the bomb doesn’t come. 

From Zero’s perspective, what Yuuki does in this scene is pretty terrible--she dodges his question and tries to use another excuse to cover up the truth. So, to break it down:

Yuuki gets all weepy and tells Zero she wants him to live on, and that she thinks this every time someone dies or something happens. She admits that she shouldn’t say this kind of thing, and that’s because in her opinion it’s nothing but a curse for him. 

Zero is shocked at first, which implies one of four things: either a.) he’s genuinely surprised and touched that she was thinking about him this time and not Kaname, b.) he’s shocked about whatever it is going on with her face itself in that panel where we just see her eye and all the screen tones, c.) he’s astounded that something this petty and ridiculous is the reason she’s been making both their lives continuously miserable, or d.) he’s astounded that even now his feelings still haven’t reached her.

Before I move on, I have to say, none of those above interpretations are positive for Yuuki. If A is true, then that means Yuuki hasn’t even remotely been showing Zero any kind of affection. If B is true, then something really bad is going on with Yuuki. If C is true, then Zero’s fed up with the relationship. If D is true, Zero has now confirmed that everything he has ever tried to do in VKM to help Yuuki has been pointless--she’s already decided how he thinks of her and nothing he says or does will change that.

But before we can find out what Zero’s expression really means, Yuuki goes and ruins it with her next line about getting selfishly scared that the day he’ll die is approaching. 

Now, before I go further, I want to say this: if Zero was genuinely touched by Yuuki’s concern about him, that should have stopped his anger even if he was still flustered about the fact that her concern is over the top. For surely nothing Yuuki says is all that terrible, other than the fact that she thinks Zero might be opposed to her wish. But even that just warrants perhaps a sigh on Zero’s part and maybe him sitting down with her and talking about it or perhaps just getting into a shouting match about how she’s not seeing “him” and is still stuck in the past. (Much like what Kain says to Ruka in VKM 3, something like that would be more appropriate if he’s just upset that nothing he’s been doing has been getting through to her, or if he thinks her fears are silly). 

However, there’s something in the way Yuuki phrases her line in the panel where she talks about being frightened that gets under his skin. She says she’s selfishly afraid, which implies that this is just an excuse she’s using to keep up her moping, and it also implies that she doesn’t care about the Zero in front of her per se so much as ensuring she has “someone” with her “forever.” (Leading us right back to the very reason Zero was starting this argument in the first place.

So Zero’s reaction to Yuuki’s selfish fear is not to soothe her or reassure her. Instead he mocks her. And it is here that Hino stops letting us see his full expressions and begins to cut him off using framing. We don’t see his eyes at all when he tells her that the only one suffering under her “curse” is her. But rather than stopping there, he then goes on further to demand her blood using the very same terminology she used herself. Note that his brow is furrowed when he says this, implying that this is not said out of love or appreciation. Most children know that the best way to annoy someone is to repeat what they said, and he’s mocking her here with her own words, much as Kaname used to do. 

Now there’s a couple of interpretations for this section. The first is the easy one: Zero’s upset that everything he’s done since the end of VK has been for naught and so he might as well just give in to Yuuki’s fears and give her what she “wants”, which is for him to drink from her. (As we know from her forcefeeding him in VKM 12). So in this sense, he’s just angrily acquiescing to her fears. And I would buy this interpretation, if not for the next few panels where he squanders her blood. So if this is just about him being generally frustrated that he’s not getting through to her, he should still be treasuring her blood, not squandering it. 

The second interpretation requires some assumptions, but I think it fits better with Zero’s actions. Zero is pissed at her for using him as an excuse to not talk about her issues and the ghost that’s between them, and this excuse is perfect because she can just use it every time she’s upset to deflect Zero from prying into her feelings about Kaname. Think about it: if she doesn’t want Zero to pry into Kaname, all she has to do is say “why, my love, I was moping about your fate!” and he has to comfort her and pity her and feel sorry for her and drop the subject. It is an invincible shield behind which she can hide forever, unlike their bench excuses, rendering him unable to ever corner her into confessing  about Kaname without actually bringing him up (which we know she runs away from direct conversations about Kaname as well, see VKM 3, 5, and 9). Zero knows that this excuse she will have forever because she is immortal and he is not. So Zero’s anger in this scene may have some of the “nothing I do will get through to her” interpretation in it, but I think the majority of why he’s so angry and brutal with her is because she’s made it impossible for him to ever address the real problem he has in their relationship. She can “play dumb” forever and ever, and he will have to just take it and suffer.

This interpretation I think explains the manner in which he treats her better than the first. If he was just frustrated with her for not seeing him “now,” I don’t think his bite style would change so severely. However, if he’s pissed at her for finding the ultimate deflection from them ever being able to address the issues he has with her, then yeah, he’s gonna unleash all that pent-up sexual energy he’s been holding back for 70+ years. So he attacks her, bites her over eight times all over her body, but doesn’t even stop to savor the blood. He clearly causes her pain and scares her--she feebly attempts to push his hand off her stomach and clutches her shirt to cover her boobs. Like seriously I can’t reiterate this enough--she’s not being sexually receptive to him at all in this scene. This outburst of sexually charged energy on top of the egregious biting all imply anger, not merely frustration. 

Basically, from my perspective, what it appears he realizes here is that despite how cleverly he trapped her this time (locating a precise moment and holding her to their restart promise), she found the one way out of an honest conversation. And this naturally is infuriating. He basically has it confirmed that she will never tell him what’s really going on. And that is why he becomes so bitter when he mocks her, and that is why he splatters her blood and invades her intimate space, and that is why he tells her to push “that day” in to the far distance. 

“That day” in the second interpretation can only mean the day she turns Kaname, the day Zero fears (because Zero has his own fears, which he’s never allowed to speak about thanks to Yuuki). If Zero’s life keeps her from making that sacrifice, then by all the hells he’s going to do everything it takes to grant that to her, because that’s all that’s left for him. I think that’s also why at the end of the scene he finally confesses what he hopes to receive from her--that at the end of all this insanity, she’ll at the very least tell him she was happy. He doesn’t even ask for her love because as far as he’s concerned, he’ll never receive it. He just wants her to be with him in the end and tell him he made her happy. 

Now if the scene ended here, I would say Zero’s made a pretty big damn mistake and he needs to fix it, but otherwise I would expect Hino to keep dragging out this shitshow until the end of the series. Zero’ll just have to accept that he’s never going to get to clarify whatever it is that bothers him about Kaname, and “be the bigger man” than Kaname was or whatever.

But Hino gave me a little tiny gift at the end, one that has me hoping for better things. At the end, Zero admits that he’s no longer able to stop himself. He curses, and then asks himself why her blood’s so tasty that he can’t stop himself. This is a direct parallel to Night 50, when Kaname asked Yuuki the same thing. 

Zero is confirmed to be unsatisfied with Yuuki’s blood. It’s still tasty because he still loves her, but he’s now beginning to shift into Rido/Kaname territory. This means, despite his anger about Yuuki deflecting this chapter, that the likelihood of him leaving the relationship has gone up exponentially. A confession like this usually comes before the end. And if this scene is what it takes for Hino to give me my Zeki breakup so that they can sort themselves out and find a better way, I’ll pay my dues and suck it up. All saints have to fall at some point, and Zero was due for a fall. 

To quickly sum up what I feel was expressed on the Zero side in this scene: Zero has been afraid for at least 50+ years that Yuuki’s issues about Kaname will never be “over.” Every time he’s tried to talk to Yuuki in the past about Kaname, she’s deflected in some way or clammed up. When he thinks he’s finally trapped her into having to talk about it, she brings out the biggest whopper of a deflection in history, and one he can’t beat, triggering one hell of a temper tantrum and leaving him indirectly confessing that she no longer satisfies him (and we know he was once satisfied by her, because he said as much in VKM 2). 

This puts Zero in a position to do one of two things: either a.) he has to accept that their relationship is what it is and this is the best he’s gonna get, or b.) he has to start deciding the best route for causing a chilling effect on the relationship, either by rebenching it or breaking it up entirely. More on this in the finale section. 

For now, I want to say that I fully expect Zero to apologize to Yuuki for his behavior here. I think he was wrong, no matter his circumstances, to treat her this way. I do think he was driven to this point by her behavior and by his own cowardice, which I’ll discuss briefly here shortly, but that still doesn’t excuse him. His behavior in this scene was abusive, although one instance of abuse does not necessarily an abuser make. At the moment, this is an anomalous behavior for Zero, but readers should be careful not to defend it too much because it could develop into a pattern of abuse in the future, and is, therefore, a red flag. If he continues down this path and develops a pattern of abuse, he’ll be no better than Kaname.  So I fully expect him an apology from him, a la Rhett Butler after The Scene in Gone With The Wind, and I expect some serious reflection on his actions and some serious narrative consequences. 

Now, before I move on to Yuuki’s side of this chapter, I want to talk about a few things that we can now extrapolate about Zero based on this chapter:

While he may not have been lying per se when he said he was “okay” with Kaname’s place in Yuuki’s heart during VKM 9 and VKM 1, it’s clear that he’s incredibly insecure about his own place in Yuuki’s heart despite what he says to her. I’ve always been firmly in the camp that he’s been lying this whole time, perhaps even to himself, about being “okay” with that. As Yuuki said once long ago to Kaname, he shouldn’t lie to himself and pretend it’s okay when it clearly isn’t (for fuck’s sake, Kaname destroyed his life). But Yuuki seems content to allow herself to be lied to now, so that shows you how much has changed since Night 49.

Zero’s been in denial about his prospects with Yuuki. Clearly he spent the 50+ years of pining in VKM 9 hoping that once they became official, things would get better. VKM 13 confirms that this cycle of Yuuki moping about “things” (re: Kaname) will continue in perpetuity. 

He is no longer satisfied with Yuuki’s blood as his only source of romantic connection with her, given how he treats her blood this chapter. It’s still tasty, but it’s not filling. 

His hope for a better future has died. This is evident by the fact that he says what he wishes from her when he dies here. He’s given up on them as a couple. What that means, of course, remains to be seen. 

Yuuki’s Deliberate Deflections and Insecurities

Now, we know less about Yuuki in VKM than we do about Zero. So unlike with Zero, it’s hard to gauge how much of what she says is “true” and how much is a lie or half-truth. As such, that makes it harder to interpret her and easier to give her a pass.

On the surface, Hino tries to paint her as this oblivious person who has no clue what’s going on. I would buy this interpretation if not for VKM 9 and if not for Night 66. Yuuki is a master at pretending to be obtuse when she knows people want something from her she’s unwilling to give, but she’s fully conscious of what she’s doing when she withholds and hides behind being “dense” and people forgiving her for it. 

Now there are two ways to view Yuuki this chapter, and I think both are valid until further notice. 

One is that she genuinely has been moping about Zero potentially dying all this time (even back when Zero thought she was moping about Kaname during VKM 9). In this scenario, she would have no clue that she’s just made it impossible for Zero to ever talk about Kaname, because she’s being honest with Zero about what she was thinking about during the ceremony. Thus her confession about how she thinks her wish is selfish and unfair to him would be in this case honest. And I think this interpretation is certainly valid, because the way Hino frames Yuuki in this scene is pretty open. The only “dishonest” aspect perhaps surrounds the panel where her eye gets weird, but that can be attributed to either her hyper-anxiety about losing Zero surfacing or something related to the master/servant bond with Kaname surfacing. This interpretation is also in line with VKM 9, where we see that after funerals she drinks excessively from Zero to the point that he basically calls it “funeral duty.” It would also be in line with her forcefeeding Zero in VKM 12 and her openly spying on him and her fears getting triggered after Aidou’s comment to him in VKM 12. 

In this interpretation, the fact that she does still genuinely believe wishing eternal life upon him is a curse for him shows that she isn’t seeing him properly and clearly still has some fears and misconceptions about him due to the original series. This is, as @soulisthirsty points out in her posts I linked above in the close-up subtext section, likely due to the fact that Yuuki has never talked to Zero about those final days of Kaname’s life and the terrible things she did--stealing Zero’s memories against his will, sleeping with Kaname, betraying Zero (we know Yuuki saw that as a betrayal of Zero because she says she and Kaname have no “right” to face Zero in Night 90). So this would set up a natural misunderstanding between her and Zero--she has spent the past 70+ years thinking she’s unworthy of Zero and wanting him anyway, while Zero has spent the past 70+ years thinking she doesn’t love him as much as her blood says she does. 

However, my problem with this interpretation of Yuuki is that it doesn’t account for her confession in VKM 9 when she clearly states she won’t let Zero go and won’t let their relationship move forward, implying she’s been fully cognizant all along of what’s bothering Zero. It also doesn’t account for her playing coy in VKM 10 when Zero tries to pin her down on what she means by “restart,” nor does it account for her suddenly “offering her bed” to him in VKM 12. 

So that leads us to the second potential interpretation of Yuuki in VKM 13, and that is that Zero is right--she is hiding behind her genuine fears about his life in order to not address her deeper issues. This interpretation includes the one above, but it also adds to it a new dimension--that of Yuuki being duplicitous in her attempts to keep Zero at her side but not face herself and Kaname. So her confession of her fears in VKM 13 by this interpretation would be true--she does think these things--but Zero is also right--at the moment he noticed at the wedding, she was thinking of Kaname or of something related to Kaname. 

This could be for a variety of reasons unrelated to “love” or “pining” of course--it could just be that wedding vows trigger her master/servant bond for all we know. The larger point is that clearly something “more” was going on there than just Yuuki innocently fearing for Zero’s life. Weddings shouldn’t make her fear for Zero’s life anyway--she should be thinking about her own marriage, which is what weddings do to single people. This would naturally make her think of the failed engagement to Kaname and perhaps bring up some “what ifs,” and it would also make her think about why her own relationship with Zero isn’t moving to this phase. 

But whatever it was she was actually thinking about, it wasn’t something she feels she can talk to Zero about. Zero knows it and she knows it. She never once contradicts him when he says her curse is her own. She well knows it. And she continues thinking so even after he bites her. Nothing changes in her perception by the end of VKM 13. Whatever she was moping about at the beginning is still there to be moped about. 

In brief, this is what I think is going on with Yuuki:

She hates herself for not being able to love Kaname.

She potentially resents Zero for being the reason she couldn’t love Kaname. 

She’s confused about whatever it is that’s going on with the master/servant bond. 

She’s still genuinely afraid of being alone and selfishly wants “someone” by her side.

She still does have some unknown feelings for Zero and genuinely is afraid that he’ll die before she can be able to have a life with him. (This is probably the true reason why she fears his death, rather than just general fear. That he’ll die before she can be free to love him.)

Based on how she was acting in VKM 12, I suspect she’s afraid Zero’s going to leave her full stop. Confessing she’s afraid of him dying may be a way to keep him with her a little longer and may stall his decision to leave. 

Now I mentioned up in section on the first scene that I think Yuuki might be testing Zero a bit to see if his issues are what she fears. She’s already checked off “hates Purebloods still” from the list. In VKM 13′s final scene, she checks off two other things: “doesn’t want to live forever as a thing he hates” and “thinks my blood is evil.” Zero basically tells her what she told Kaname in Night 49--go ahead and tarnish him, he’ll fall together with her. 

With this in mind, my interpretation of Yuuki’s final lines in the chapter are more about her accepting that Zero’s issues have nothing to do with the things that are easy for her to address or deal with. So she tells him go ahead and take all the things she can give him, because she still can’t give him anything else that he wants, so at the very least she can keep extending his life with the blood that has been nothing but a curse to him. And the curse she means, in my opinion, is that he loves her and she’s so deeply unworthy of him on every level. 

So basically, in the end of this scene Yuuki must face that Zero’s issues are about the things she refuses to deal with him honestly about--the events of the original series, her feelings, and Kaname. And this is why she’s in so much pain, because these are the very things she was hoping to avoid forever. 

Here are a few of the things I feel we can now say about Yuuki in VKM:

She’ll keep dodging to the end of time and picking up new excuses to avoid addressing the enormous elephant in the room.

She’s not interested in finding happiness or moving forward. Instead, she’s interested in punishing herself (and by extension Zero) for what happened to Kaname. Why this is the case is up for speculation at this point. 

All Yuuki has to offer Zero at this point is her blood. And with this chapter, he’s confirmed for her that soon her blood won’t be enough. As with Kaname in Night 66/67, Yuuki’s “restart” has begun to fail due to her own inability to open up the romantic part of her life to her partner. Zero subsisted on nothing but her blood for an entire human lifespan, and that’s clearly not enough for him anymore. She can no longer use it as a bargaining chip to distract him from the lack of intimacy.

Yuuki does not want intimacy with Zero. She tries to push his hand away from her waist and tries to keep her shirt from slipping. If she truly loves this man and wants to restart with him, why’s she being all shy? It’s not like she hasn’t had sex before. This is a red flag for their relationship.

Who’s More Reprehensible?

This is probably a weird thing to end this section with, but I wanted to briefly touch on who I feel, out of Zero and Yuuki, is the most reprehensible character and why.

I want it to be clear that Zero’s behavior in this chapter is absolutely reprehensible, and right up there with Kaname’s behavior in Nights 61 and 90. (I think Night 90 still wins, since it was in public, but that can be debated of course.)

However, Zero’s pretty much been driven to this by Yuuki. Now, interestingly, Kaname blamed Yuuki for driving most of his behavior in the original series, but actually Yuuki was mostly blameless--Kaname expected too much too quickly from her. That’s not the case with Zero.

Zero waits for her. Patiently. Without complaint. For nearly 70 years (4 years pregnancy, 16 years Ai’s youth up to VKM 3, 50 years post-VKM 3 until Yori’s death) Zero abided by Yuuki’s rules for their relationship and slowly clung to the hope that one day, somehow, they would be able to become like Aidou and Yori.

And then that day came, and nothing changed. Yuuki’s still becoming withdrawn and moody, she’s still withholding as a partner, she only offers her bed when it’s convenient to her and no actual intimacy. She rejects intimacy and doesn’t instigate it or invite it. Their relationship is cold; they might as well be roommates rather than lovers.

On top of this, Yuuki has never once said she loves Zero. She has never spoken her feelings to him, not during any of his confessions. She’s never corrected his assumptions about Kaname, at least not the ones he’s spoken to her. Even her restart confession basically outlined that Kaname’s first in her thoughts and Zero and Ai merely are bandaids “saving” her from thinking about Kaname forever. She doesn’t appreciate Zero openly (as we see from how shocked Zero is by Aidou caring about him in VKM 12). She deflects all his attempts to open their relationship up to be something more mutual.

She fully admits to stringing him along in VKM 9 and then offers him a candy bar with the restart only to give him more of the same. Zero has the patience of a saint, but he’s not a saint, and a 70-year-old virgin is eventually going to get pretty fed up that his lover isn’t interested in having a relationship with him. Especially not when she was more than willing to hop into bed with his enemy much sooner. 

We don’t know yet why Yuuki’s chosen to treat Zero like this. But most certainly Zero doesn’t know either, because Yuuki’s stopped communicating entirely and every time he tries to talk she shuts him down or clams up. Thus, despite Zero’s behavior being physically abusive this chapter (despite it being an anomaly in the 50+ years of his life during VKM so far), in my opinion Yuuki triggered its inevitability and brought it on herself by stringing him along for so long and continuing to do so even after the restart. She’s been unnecessarily cruel to him--even Ruka has been better to Kain than Yuuki’s been to Zero, and Ruka’s settling for Kain. Zero’s supposed to be the person who stopped Yuuki from truly loving Kaname, and the very reason Kaname got butthurt enough to rip out his heart in the first place. For a guy she’s supposed to love, she sure isn’t acting like she does. 

And before anyone accuses me of being a secret Kaname-apologist plant, let me assure you that I’m only pointing this out because this is a problem I see in Yuuki as a character, not because I’ve suddenly gained a liking for abusive relationships in my old age. I expect Hino to address the discrepancies here--why is she treating a man she’s supposed to truly love “worse” than a man she didn’t love? There needs to be something more to explain this than merely “master/servant’ bond and “Yuuki’s dumb.” And I expect that to be explored before I’ll be able to enjoy Zeki again. 

Parallels: VKM 13′s first and last scene bookends and Nights 49 & 61

I’m putting this in its own section simply because I want to highlight it and it doesn’t exactly fit above. There are quite a few scene parallels going on here because we’re still rushing through the Kuran Manor arc redux. First I’ll address the parallels between VKM 13′s first two scenes, then between VKM 13′s final scene and Nights 49 and 61.

The VKM 13 Bookends

Hino’s pretty good about bookend scenes. We’re clearly meant to compare/contrast VKM 13′s opening scene with it’s finale scene. Here’s what I found:

The first shot we see is Yuuki and Zero looking at each other on the title page. The last shot we see is them embracing but not mutually, nor are they looking at each other. 

Yuuki attacks Zero in the first scene, only to be rebuffed gently. Zero attacks Yuuki in the final scene, with no resistance from Yuuki. 

The first scene takes its time and slowly unfolds for the reader to give a sense of romance. The final scene rushes through what actually occurs over a long span of time to give a sense of chaos and urgency.

Yuuki confesses her fears to Zero about his feelings in the first scene and he delicately and honestly handles them in the correct way, reassuring her of how his feelings have evolved by playfully tousling her hair. Yuuki confesses her fears to Zero about his feelings in the final scene and he agrees with her and assaults her with no playfulness.

Yuuki comes away from the first scene more at peace with the situation than when she started it, though she’s clearly still concerned about something. She comes away from the final scene with no indication that she feels any more peaceful, and in fact she seems to feel worse. 

Zero responds to Yuuki’s fears correctly in the first scene and incorrectly in the second. 

A deliberate contrast like this in the same chapter is necessary to help people both recall that Zero’s generally a good man (and thus his actions at the end of VKM 13 are out of character and something to take note of) and to demonstrate that Zero and Yuuki can communicate in a more healthy way ordinarily. The parallels otherwise remain superficial, but the key takeaway is that things are “right” in the first scene and “wrong” in the last. 

VKM 13 vs. Nights 49 & 61

Several Kuran Manor arc parallels in this scene. I’m just going to list them:

Hino has multiple shots of just Zero’s eye in VKM 13, which is exactly like what she does with Kaname in Night 49. 

Hino eroticizes Yuuki’s expressions during the biting section of VKM 13, which mirror her expressions in Night 49 (also a scene where she “gave in” to a partner’s desires despite being upset/guilty herself rather than loving).

The blood splatters on Yuuki in VKM 13 mirror the multiple bites from Kaname in Night 61. 

Yuuki caressing Zero’s face and confessing her fears mirrors her reactions to Kaname in Night 61.

Yuuki’s weakened from the extreme blood loss in VKM 13 exactly as she was in Night 61.

Zero’s surface reason for egregiously biting Yuuki in VKM 13 mirrors Kaname’s surface reason for egregiously biting her in Night 61.

The parallels to the Kuran Manor arc are important because it shows that Zero’s behavior is wrong no matter the context. Kaname had “reasons” for treating Yuuki badly too, but those reasons aren’t excuses and shouldn’t be used as excuses. Just because Yuuki gives in to the abuse doesn’t make the abuse right. But that’s all I want to say on this subject for now, because this post is literally a novella now and I’m tired of writing it. 

The End Of The Line

So to sum up, this was in my opinion a horrible chapter and a blight on Zeki as a pairing and I expect Hino to clear it up immediately and stop dragging her damn feet. 

Otherwise, we’re going along quite well as far as narrative trajectory goes. I see one of two things happening: either a.) Hino keeps dragging this shit out and doesn’t let Zero leave or b.) she lets Zero leave finally. We may or may not get an apology, but if we don’t get an apology I will officially be done with the ship, though for personal reasons I’m not leaving the fandom until the end. Zero’d better apologize for this shit. It’s inexcusable; I don’t care how badly Yuuki’s treated him or how much she deserves it, I expect better from him. If I were his grandmother, that’s what I’d say to him.

@soulisthirsty mentioned to me that she thinks next chapter would be perfect for a Zeki breakup, as it’s conveniently the end of Volume 3. That would be the best Christmas present I could receive. This “restart” has been nothing but a joke and the sooner Zeki breaks up, the sooner we can have a genuine move toward a real relationship.

At this point, I feel that Yuuki doesn’t love anyone. I don’t think her actions imply she loves Zero anymore. I don’t think she loves Kaname. I think she’s a confused, unhappy woman who needs to sort herself out. A break up would do this for her--I think in order to actualize herself she needs to face her fears of being alone and overcome them. She’s been sitting on these fears since arc 1 of the original series, and in order to be a true heroine she’s got to overcome them to earn her happy ending.

Ideally, I’d like them to break up for 50-100 years. I’d like to see Zero actually try dating other girls, maybe even sleeping with them, maybe even having a family/kids of his own who are human. I’d like to see Yuuki try to live her life alone and lie in the bed she’s made for herself. I’d like to see her start appreciating the life Zero gave her. I could easily see Hino covering this span of time within 2-3 chapters if she wanted to (so in volume 4), then allowing the drama over the Vampire King to bring Zero and Yuuki naturally back into each other’s orbits, where they can fall in love naturally for the first time, both of them healed and whole.

But likely what we’ll get is a rebenching where Zero just uses the Vampire King as an excuse to put the relationship on cool down and have them go back to meeting at the bench. He’ll probably start looking for ways to revive Kaname, leading to the cure debacle. This will likely force Yuuki to have to at least deal with something regarding her feelings, whatever it is that finally makes her capable of sleeping with Zero to conceive Ren. *sigh* 

Zero, just realize that your true love is Aidou! Please! I beg you! *sigh*

Anyway, I can’t believe I made it through this monstrous chapter. I feel absolutely exhausted. Whoever makes it through this thing has my sincerest gratitude and admiration. But for now, I’m calling it quits. 

Until next time!

[rubies-and-moonbeams]

My Tarnished King.

I had a dream about you last night.

A dream when we were younger, so full of light and laughter…spinning around in the entanglement of love. We were in the field of flowers we used to sneak into when our chores were through, I remember you’d always smell like the stables and had dirt covering your smiling face from minding and riding your father’s fine horses. I remember my tattered apron and checkered dress stained with flour and berry stains from helping my mother at the bakery she ran. We looked like such a mess, but as I sat there hand in hand with you, the comfort of the warm sunny rays on my skin shooed away the thoughts of our parents missing us. It didn’t matter, any of it. The punishment knowing the trouble we’d be in for sneaking away for just a moment alone together. After all, I was low class…and you were the King’s only son. It was forbidden. But not to us. To us, it was supposed to be like this.

It had always been this way, we were young…“only babes with our heads in the clouds” as my mother would recall in her thick Irish accent while shaking her head at me every time I waltzed into our small home with flowers in my hair and a hummed love song on my breath. She knew of us unlike your father, but kept hushed. If the secret was out, we’d be exiled for sure. I don’t doubt that your father always wondered where you were off to during these warm afternoon hours, but as King, he had more important matter to attend to than to babysit you.

We knew our parents wouldn’t want us together….But it felt so right, so meant to be like we had been in love for longer than our mere 17 years. We used to speak about how you and I were probably together since the universe formed, first as dancing stardust turning into planets and stars, then always finding each other ever since from life to life. That we would always find each other even after this one. I remember staring into your bright, forest green eyes, dark lashes making them almost glow as they stared into my own dark orbs. I always felt jealous, you always looked like Spring. With your golden hair and tan complexion, the freckles that littered your face, the forest that lived in your gaze. I always felt so plain compared to you. My dark hair and pale skin, my almost black eyes resembling muddy pools of water. I never knew why you picked me from the crowds….yet you always compared me to the beauty of the Winter-that Spring and Winter needed each other to help the world keep going. That we needed each other in the same way the seasons did. I felt so lucky to have you.

We’d always lay in the soft grass, our fingers entangled as we stared up at the clouds and speaking of the unknowns of the world and what may lie beyond our village and it’s confined walls, sometimes even daring each other to elope and run away. Yet it never happened. You’d always be called home by the castle horns, and would kiss me with your pink, soft lips for just too short of a second and shoot me a crooked smile every time you ran back home. It seemed we never had any time together, just enough for a conversation and a sweet embrace. Then I was left alone in that field as I watched you dash through the trees, standing in our special hiding spot feeling like I was watching a piece of me being torn away. I clutched the necklace you gave me, the golden locket with our jagged looking initials engraved into the inside which we did with your prized dagger…and almost in an instant, I smelled something burning.

The skies above me suddenly turned into shades of black and grey, and soon our lovely field was set ablaze in a forest of hell fire flames. Looking around, I felt the agonizing heat burn my skin, the black smoke fill my lungs, the terror that filled my mind. How did this happen? It was so perfect, yet now I watched as the only place that made me happy burned to the ground. I collapsed, gasping for air, my eyes burning from the ash and billows of smoke clouding my vision. This was the end wasn’t it? I’d never see you again, I’d never see my love again, I’d die here alone… then a hand reached out to me. I looked up with hot tears in my eyes and reached desperately to grasp it, but it turned into ashes that blew away in the fiery winds.

Then I remembered.

I awoke with a frightened gasp, clutching at my nightgown. There was a knock on the door and followed by a gruff male voice screaming at myself and the other women to wake up for our work. I heard groans from the other women as the stirred in our servant chambers, and I realized as I sat in my sweat soaked gown the harsh truth. I wasn’t in that field anymore. I was now a young maiden, one of many who had been ripped away from their homes after the King had died, my love’s father. The new King now who has succeeded his father, called for more female servants, because he needed to be adorned and waited on. We didn’t have a choice, and as I sat there I knew I’d never have a choice again, that I wouldn’t be able to live my life that I had planned. That the love of my life was no longer that young spirited, kind prince. He was now a ruthless and cold hearted King, ruling over the land that I once called my home before I called it my prison. My prince now ruled with an iron fist and a undying taste for blood. One who had no problem destroying anything or anyone in his path, who got everything he wanted, who could have anything at his fingertips…including myself. Yet this man, this beast, he wasn’t my love anymore….

He was a monster.

I let out a heavy sigh, mentally preparing for the day and letting my dream escape me, letting its sweet taste linger in the back of my mind, as they always did on these rare occasions to help me escape from my reality. I had always done this for the past few years I had been here so I wouldn’t go mad myself. When we all were dressed and ready, us women went onto or daily duties. Although I wished to be with my love forever, I would be but not in the sense I’d like. I was his main servant, dressing him, washing him, doing his bidding. He knew who I was, yet it was almost as if he now saw me as some toy or possession that he could use to his liking. I wasn’t his first love anymore, merely a disposable servant he favored more than anyone else.

The King was now married to his ever so faithful wife, when he himself was far from it. He had affairs with many other women in the castle, yet when it came to me I was almost like touching fire to him. I didn’t understand it, how we were once in love and now I despised to look at him. How he barely reacted at the sight of me, so blazè about it all. How my heart broke when he stopped meeting me in the field, only for him to return to take me from my home years later to serve him. He’d never look at me in the eyes, he’d never touch me, he never said my name…I was forbidden once more, not by his father’s command this time but his own. I never knew what had happened in those years we were away, that turned him so cold and ruthless. I never would know.

The boy I knew and loved was gone, and every time I looked into those green eyes, they were now dull and cold. You were gone, you were never going to be you again. You were just He from now on, because you were not the love I remembered anymore.

He would keep me around to do this and that, spending more time with me than his own wife and mistresses. He would tell me about his thoughts, how proud he was of his accomplishments, his money, how much land he had taken over…and I would listen as I scrubbed his skin, the very skin I had touched and had met with my own long ago. Yet it was now cold and pale with no sign of spring, because unless it was to declare war the King never left his castle. He was always where he felt comfortable and safe, afraid of vulnerability. He was a coward though, the King would never fight in his own battles-yet brag that he did. He’d brag about everything to hide his burning self hatred that ate away at him inside.

“You know, if I had run away with you darling…” He began as he sat in the hot waters of the deep bathtub as we sat in his chambers, staring at the burning flames that danced around in the fireplace which cast an orange hue through out the room. His hand gently pressed onto mine as I washed his shoulder, stopping me completely and my breath as well. He had never touched me while I had been here…I didn’t know what to do, I just froze. He hadn’t touched me since those years back, but now his grip was cold and unforgiving. He took a sip of his third glass of red wine, and let out a drunken chuckle. “I never would have gotten to see how much of a profound leader that I am now, how great I could be. I was dumb and stupid, thinking I loved you that love was the answer to it all.” He turned around to look at me, our eyes meeting steadily for the first time in what seemed like eternity, a coy grin at the corner of his full lips. His other hand reached up to tuck a lock of my messy, dark hair behind my ear, and rested it upon my frightened face. I wanted to run, yet all I could do was stare.

“We were children, children with impossible ideas. I knew we’d tear each other apart, you’d hold me back….and with some wise words told to me by my father, I realized my foolish behavior and left.” He spoke softly, his words dripping with honey. His thumb brushed against my cheek and I looked away immediately, a tear falling from my pained eyes. “It wasn’t meant to be love, we were too different. Our worlds would never be able to connect, I was meant for higher and…” He sighed heavily. “Well, clearly you were meant for lower.”

“But, I knew you’d always want me. I knew you’d always be so loyal to me, you’re so sweet…so pure. So idealistic of love and all it contains.” He mocked. More tears fell from my eyes and a muffled sob came from my mouth as he continued to stroke my tear stained cheek. I felt my heart breaking in two, but as always I remained sitting there with my eyes closed shut, trying to go back to my dreams of the field. He sighed once more, and I felt my face being pulled forward, soft lips press against my own for just a moment before breaking away. They felt like stone. “So I decided that you’d be such a good servant to me, and I could have you forever. That you’d do anything for me, be devoted like no other. But you clearly had no place to be a Queen. So here we are.”

My eyes shot open and I stared in shock at the King, getting up and almost falling backwards as I took in the entirety of what the King had said. I regained my footing and stared at him with a look of betrayal.

“All of those days we spent together…all of those nights, you told me you loved me…” I managed to stutter out, my voice shaking. Anger started to fuel me and I threw the wet towel down harshly onto the elaborate carpet beneath me. “You PROMISED me we’d always be together, we wanted a life, a family, a…..” I started to weep, falling to my knees upon realizing what my prince had become, how he had made a fool out of me. “Was it all.. a lie?”

He looked at me, his gaze cold and steady.

“I wouldn’t say a lie, but more of a misunderstanding on your part. You were such an idealist. A hopeless romantic. So needy.” He stated, although I knew he was forcing himself to spout out contradictions, he could never admit he loved me. Even though I knew in my core he did in some altered way, just would never let his pride express it. “It was all in your head love, but oh, how devoted you were.”

The room was silent, and I just realized how the last years were a lie, how I clung onto such hope that we could be together someday, that he’d say he loved me…all to realize that I had been wasting my time because he’s never allow himself to. I looked up now, anger in my cold eyes. I wanted to burn him, to push him into the fire. This evil King, he was nothing to me now. That prince, or facade of one was nothing but a lie, and I had fallen for it. It made no sense, but how could you make sense out of senselessness?

“But isn’t this what you wanted my Darling?” He asked coolly , sipping from his gold cup once more. “To be with me forever? I’d say we both win, don’t you?”

I felt my breath hitch in my throat, a fire burn inside of me. Thoughts raced through my head wildly, I could have drowned him in that water. I could have killed him with my bare hands…but instead I reached for the locket I had always kept around my neck ever since my prince gave it to me and ripped the chain off from around it. Holding the once precious locket tightly in my shaking hands and staring at this King, I scowled and held it so he could see, his eyes going wide at the sight.

“You’ve been my captor for years, my King.” I expressed wickedly, grasping onto the locket as he stared at it with amazement, a pained expression soon forming after. I saw tears well up in his eyes, and for just that moment I saw my Prince come back to me. “I’ve never let this leave me.”

“Y-You…..“He stated blankly, tears falling from his eyes as he looked at me as he did so many times before in our hideaway, then back to the locket. It seemed as if his mind was shutting down, he was flipping from one persona to the next. He didn’t know what to think. He reached for his robe but I shouted at him to stay where he was. "You kept it…? I surely thought….”

“I did.” I stated coldly, hate filling my eyes. I tried to ignore the tears falling from them, our pain seemed to be matching one another…for once I felt that my broken heart was validated. “I did, remembering the promise that you’d always be with me…but no my prince, not like this. You don’t own me anymore….you never did. I realize that I’ve been holding onto this for the wrong reasons.”

With that I threw the locket into the fire and felt the satisfying cracks as the flames ate the remnants of what we were. The wanted years. The King stared at me in awe, his true colors showing to me now. A definite shift emerged within him. Yet I saw all of his colors mixing into each other into an ugly hue, all of the hypocrisy breaking his mind.

“Send your guards after me, kill me, do whatever.” I spat fearlessly, regaining my voice. “But I will die peacefully knowing that you will forever regret what you did and slowly die in your empty palace with nothing but a withering soul to comfort you in your frigid loneliness.” I shook my head. “That I am free now. That you will never have his hold on me again, now that I see the truth. You’ll be your own demise, and you have no one to blame but yourself…my Prince.”

He sat there silent for a moment, tears still staining his face while the only sounds filling the room was the crackling of the fire. He looked as if I had just stabbed him. I stared back with a cold gaze, and soon turned my back to him to walk out of the door without another thought. I heard him weakly calling my name as the realization hit him, desperately calling it….but as painful as it was, I ignored his cries. It was too late for him, and he knew he had no power anymore. I knew I’d be killed, his guards would come after me as I walked down the empty corridors, he’d find me….but as I got to the entrance, I was surprised to see that I never was approached. No one ended up coming after me. As I got to the palace doors, I slowly opened them, the creaking of the hinges echoing through out the empty hallways. I took a breath of the cool night air, and held it in my lungs as I took my first step into freedom. The stars illuminating the sky greeted me, and I looked back to hear soft, muffled sobs off into the distance. I was free, and so I ran. I ran back home. I ran back to where I belonged. To my family and friends whom I hadn’t seen. I ran back to happiness and never looked back.

Years have gone by now my prince, and I have traveled outside of the palace walls like we always had wanted to. I did it without you. I live in a new and wonderful place, living the life I had always wished I could have had with you. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for you…as I have only heard rumors of your slow and isolating demise. The fate I always knew you’d have, even when I was that young, love stricken girl with stars in her eyes. The fate that I knew that you'd destroy yourself slowly. But as I faced my reality, I realize you have to, and your taxing consequences that you have brought upon yourself.

But now I am a woman. A woman without you, who doesn't need you. I am a free woman, and you will never have your curse like hold over me again. You were never my curse, you were always your own.

[presuninoc-blog]

Mullet dating site

Mullet Passions A wise man once told me, 'A man is someone who shows his emotions, a coward is someone who hides them.  Here you could mingle with tall singles, tall beautiful women, tall handsome men and those tall people admirers! Yahoo Finance If you're wondering where to protect your nest egg in retirement, look no further than the Sunshine State.  You're saying I can be the kind of woman who approaches my goals in a way that actually makes sense? However, starting to save earlier may help you reach long-term financial goals faster.  Hey, if love blossoms from a shared aversion to cereal grain byproducts, then surely it was meant to be.  Florida is the best state for retirees, unsurprisingly, while Kentucky is the worst, according to a study by WalletHub.  Times, sesame, a slogan that site.

Mullet dating site. You mean you're not looking for a super attractive, totally fit, high-intensity go-getter who wants to run her own company, volunteer, and be home in time to put the kids to bed, all while wearing tasteful, yet sophisticated heels? These are the kind of men that — like it or not — remind me of my dad.  It's a nonstick pan and you go through the largest online community sites.  WalletHub compiled a list of the best and worst states for retirees, using weighted metrics of affordability, quality of life, and health care.  Hedge funds' reputation as shrewd investors has been tarnished in the last decade as their hedged returns couldn't keep up with the unhedged returns of the market indices.  In addition to being down-to-earth as many of them described themselves , they also all seemed extremely emotionally available.

Mullet Passions How many farms have you seen in New York City? And these dudes definitely were not.  Actually, the idea makes a lot of sense.  In the end, a willingness to share those feelings is what creates a happy and secure relationship.  Dedicated, kind, big-hearted family men who may not have all the words, but who do have all the feelings.  Or find guts who enjoy gone activities like wrestling, even music or monster starts.  Like the fact that they respect women is not just lip service they use to get laid.

Love and Specificity: 5 Odd Online Dating Sites for Valentine’s Day One of the many types of men I have always thought would make a great match for me is a nice southern boy, the kind who looks hot in a plaid shirt, plays guitar, and loves his mama more than sweet tea.  But investors need to look before they leap.  This strategy also outperformed the market by 32 percentage points since its inception see the details here.  The venture expects to ramp cannabis production up to 75,000 kilograms by mid-2019.  In 2017, Diamond Resorts agreed to reform sales practices, pay a large fine and cancel dozens of contracts in a deceptive-practices case with the Arizona Attorney General's Office.  In the financial world there are a large number of tools investors have at their disposal to grade stocks.  It's a meal and a toothpick all in one.

Love and Specificity: 5 Odd Online Dating Sites for Valentine’s Day Pure Sunfarms recently received approval from Health Canada to expand production to their entire growing area of 1.  In the following paragraphs, we find out what the billionaire investors and hedge funds think of Applied Materials, Inc.  Unlike many of the other hyperspecific dating sites out there, FurryMate appears to offer legitimate services to a large and active community of members.  Farmers really like to describe themselves as gentlemen, it seems, and though I'm not entirely sure what that means in this day and age, I felt like all of these guys were safe.  No amount of money, influence, power or education can give you that.  Insider Monkey Insider Monkey's flagship best performing hedge funds strategy returned 20.

Mullet dating site. Phase 1: City Girl seeks Country Cowboy After completing the basic sign-up to poke around the site, I was shocked by how many matches came up in the New York City area.  Because lusty Vulcan wannabes also sometimes need help in the romance department, the Passions Network, in addition to connecting those who get all hot and bothered by Manga , mullets and mimes, offers Trek Passions, a dating website for those whose ideal mate is a telepathic, vegetarian humanoid with pointy ears.  So for example, on average, American men have a 12% absolute risk of developing prostate cancer, meaning 12 out of 100 will develop the cancer, and 88 out of 100 men will not.  Bloomberg Preliminary flight data from the Boeing Co.  How many pictures sites do that.  One who knows what she wants and who has the confidence to go about it in a moderate way.

Mullet dating site. I mean thanks for saving the Earth and everything, though.  Fortune The research focused on the absolute lifetime risk of drinking one bottle of wine a week.  The go-to joke with a situation like this is to suggest that clowns are scary and the idea of clown dating site is terrifying.  He just wanted his dating website to stroke beards to stroke beards.  Or find members who enjoy recreational activities like wrestling, country music or monster trucks.

FarmersOnly Review: What Happened When I Tried Meeting Men On The Farmers Only Online Dating Site Arguably, the recent fall is to be expected after such a strong rise.  The good news is the Digital Age, in her infinite wisdom, has provided us with online matchmaking services for everyone.  That's why we believe hedge fund sentiment is a useful indicator that investors should pay attention to.  But here at Yahoo Tech, we endeavor to remain above such cheap shots.  One guy said his family and friends mean the world to him.

[marcusssanderson]

60 Sad Love Quotes to Beat Sadness and Tears

Our latest collection of sad love quotes to get you through a break up or rejection. These sad quotes will help uplift your spirits during hard times.

Sadness is a natural part of life that’s usually associated with certain experiences of loss or pain.

There are many things that could make us sad, such as the loss of a loved one, conflict, failure, helplessness and disappointment.

But despite all the pain associated with it, sadness has some benefits as well.

It serves to remind us of what gives our life meaning and what matters to us.

Besides, sadness can motivate you to put in the effort to reach a happier place.

Experts have also discovered that sadness helps one to think in a more detailed and attentive way.

Although it has some benefits, frequently feeling sad can impact your quality of life.

You can avoid this by taking proactive measures such as focusing on improving your well-being, taking actions to be happier, and sharing your feelings with a trusted one.

To help you through the hard times, here is our collection of uplifting, wise, and comforting sad quotes, sad sayings, and sad proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Sad Love Quotes to Lift Your Spirits

1.) “Some people are going to leave, but that’s not the end of your story. That’s the end of their part in your story.” ― Faraaz Kazi

2.) There is a distinct, awful pain that comes with loving someone more than they love you. – Steve Maraboli

3.) It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love. – Miguel de Unamuno

4.) Part of me aches at the thought of her being so close yet so untouchable. – Nicholas Sparks

5.) If we must part forever, Give me but one kind word to think upon, And please myself with, while my heart’s breaking. – Thomas Otway

6.) “It’s amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.” – Ella Harper

7.) There is one pain, I often feel, which you will never know. It’s caused by the absence of you. – Ashleigh Brilliant

8.) When you think your first falling in love, just then you realize your falling out of love. – David Grayson

9.) “You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.” – Johnny Depp

10.) “Since I can’t be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we will be together again.” – Susan Polis Schutz

Sad love quotes to lighten your sorrows

11.) I cannot eat, I cannot drink; the pleasures of youth and love are fled away: there was a good time once, but now that is gone, and life is no longer life. – Plato 

12.) “Falling in love is like holding a candle. Initially it lightens up the world around you. Then it starts melting and hurt you. Finally it goes off and everything is darker than ever and all you are left with is the.. BURN!” ― Syed Arshad

13.) “I wonder if I could take back every ‘I love you’ ever said to you, would I do it?” ― Faraaz Kazi

14.) “You make me feel like a firefly. Trapped in a belljar; starved for love.” ― Ayushee Ghoshal

15.) “People love each other for many reasons, not all of them good […]. They love each other because it’s easy. Or because they’re used to it. Or because they’ve given up. Or because they’re scared.” ― Nathan Hill

16.) “He was acting like our kiss had broken him, and his reaction was breaking me.” ― Shannon A. Thompson

17.) Love lies in those unsent drafts in your mailbox. Sometimes you wonder whether things would have been different if you’d clicked ‘Send’. – Faraaz Kazi

18.) “Our greatest joy and our greatest pain come in our relationships with others.” – Stephen R. Covey

19.) “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” – Anais Nin

20.) “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” ― Samuel Butler

Sad quotes that might just change your outlook towards love and life

21.) ���The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.” – Jim Rohn

22.) “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Kahlil Gibran

23.) “There is a time for departure, even when there’s no certain place to go.” ― Tennessee Williams

24.) “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” ― Henny Youngman

25.) You meet everyone twice in this life, when they come and when they go.— C.C Aurel

26.) Just let me keep the last piece of my heart before you tear it all apart.— Lykke Li

27.) Sadness flies away on the wings of time. – Jean de La Fontaine

28.) Never make a decision when you are upset, sad, jealous or in love. – Mario Teguh

29.) It’s sad to know I’m done. But looking back, I’ve got a lot of great memories. – Bonnie Blair

30.) Some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that’s just the way it is! – Dita Von Teese

Sad quotes about love and life

31.) Nothing is worse than when someone who’s supposed to love you just leaves.— Ava Dellaira

32.) Tears come from the heart and not from the brain. – Leonardo da Vinci

33.) I wish I could give you my pain just for one moment so you can understand how much you hurt me.— Mohsen El-guindy

34.) A marriage is no amusement but a solemn act, and generally a sad one.  –Queen Victoria

35.) It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.— Graham Foust

36.) “As the light begins to intensify, so does my misery, and I wonder how it is possible to hurt so much when nothing is wrong.”― Tabitha Suzuma

37.) “Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize that breathing is hard.”― David Levithan

38.) It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. – Henry Rollins

39.) Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts. – Paramahansa Yogananda

40.) Sad things happen. They do. But we don’t need to live sad forever. – Mattie Stepanek

Sad love quotes to help fix a broken heart

41.) “Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle Everything I do is stitched with its color.”― W.S. Merwin

42.) “He taught me how to love, but not how to stop.” ― Anonymous

43.) “How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn’t he catch my falling star? I wish I didn’t wish so hard. Maybe I wished our love apart.” ― Tony Braxton

44.) You ruin your love because you don’t think you deserve anything good.— Warsan Shire

45.) The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. – Carl Jung

46.) First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t so great. – Alyssa Milano

47.) You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you’re in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don’t fall in love with people because they’re fun. It just happens. – Kirsten Dunst

48.) Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. – Stephen Chbosky

49.) You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. – Jonathan Safran Foer

50.) It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses. – George Eliot

Sad quotes to get you through the tough times

51.) The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow. – Bob Marley

52.) For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been.” – John Greenleaf Whittier

53.) Sadness is but a wall between two gardens. – Khalil Gibran

54.) Sadness is also a kind of defence. – Ivo Andric

55.) When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. – Alexander Graham Bell

56.) “Rather than crying & craving for those who left our path during dark moments of our life, lets spend some time to thank them who stood and helped us to pass those dark paths.”― Nehali Lalwani

57.) “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss

58.) “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

59.) “Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.” ― José N. Harris

60.) “Tears are words that need to be written.” ― Paulo Coelho

Which are your favorite sad love quotes

Feelings of sadness are inevitable in life. No matter your status, you’re bound to experience sadness at some point in your life.

It could be as a result of death, break-ups, failure, conflict, or any other undesirable event.

Luckily, there are things you can do to overcome sadness.

Hopefully, these sad quotes have helped lift your spirits and given you ideas on how to cope with sadness.

Did you enjoy these sad love quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? We would love to hear all about it in the comment section below.

The post 60 Sad Love Quotes to Beat Sadness and Tears appeared first on Everyday Power.

[peopleofpennsylvania]

Niles’ Weekly Register, 1831

Page 96: Mr. Elliot Cresol—My friend: permit me to address you as such, in which character I view all the humane and benevolent who exercise sympathetic feelings for the Indians under their trials and sufferings. Far as it from the expectation of Washington and Penn, when they entered into treaties of peace with our ancestors, that we, their descendants, should so soon feel the inconvenience of violated faith, which they and other great men assured them should endure forever. Even now, do we believe that if partisan newspapers and leaders, and aspiring politicians, did not throw clouds and darkness upon our rights, that justice would be connoted to our race by the people of the United States. It was with surprise, and as unexpected to me as the noise of thunder in a cloudless sky, that I read the remarks of judge Wilkins of Pittsburg, calculated to tarnish the fair fame of William Penn, whose kindness, honor, integrity and justice is above all price, and cherished in the remembrance even of the South Western Indians. Is it true that the good people of Pennsylvania hold their tenures of land, forced from the bleeding and weeping Indians, who, like the wounded deer, driven off by hunters form their standing forests and running waters, have languished away their doleful existence in the remote regions of the west? Where is the injustice of that man record? It is not in the heart of an Indian! Did he ever compel Indians to be amenable to Pennsylvania laws, and at the same time denied them the right of evidence in her courts? If laws were passed by him, they were not to oppress but to protect. Sir, we have nothing to do with the party warfare which rages in these United States. But politicians should not, in this enlightened age, seek the examples of cruelty practiced by some of the colonists, under British and Spanish influence, to justify their favorite chief.

Page 144: Resolved, That we cordially concur in the opinions expressed with so much unanimity by both branches alf the legislature of this commonwealth, upon the great leading interests of the United States, as being essential to the prosperity, happiness and independence of the nation, and especially to the welfare of Pennsylvania, and we heartily approve of the firm and manly stand taken by a great majority of the Pennsylvania delegation in congress against the projects of the administration at Washington, directed to the destruction of those interests, and we hope, that seeing as they must now see, that the power and influence conferred by the support of general Jackson, have been and continue to be employed to overthrow the settled policy of the state, they and the whole people of Pennsylvania, will also perceive that his further support would be irrational and suicidal.

Page 201: With the many injudicious and discreditable publications which have been made, charging the bank of the United States with bribery and corruption, it has not been our business to interfere—but the paragraph at the head of this notice challenges animadversion from all those who have at heart the honor and character of the state of Pennsylvania, and the purity and independence of its legislature. We confess our very great surprise and regret that such a print as the New Hampshire Patriot should have so far forgotten what is due to the parties thus inconsiderately calumniated, as to originate the libel. We confess still greater surprise and regret, that such print as the Washington Globe should republish the libel. “A system of corrupt bribery procured the passage of the Pennsylvania resolution in favor of the bank of the United States.” Such is the unqualified and blasting accusation—Of whom? The bank alone? By no means the whole legislature of the commonwealth of Pennsylvania, senate and house of representatives; for nearly all of them voted for the resolution. Why not include the governor too, for he signed it? and thus declare that an act of the constituted authorities representing the people of Pennsylvania was procured by bribery and corruption. In the name and vindication of the state thus wantonly outraged, we pronounce the charge an abominable defamation. In the name and vindication of a democratic legislature, we submit to the authors and propagators of the charge, that if they have any proof of it, that proof should be made public; that if they have no proof of it, they owe it to this state, to the legislature representing it, and to truth and justice, to make a suitable apology and atonement for so wanton and outrageous an accusation. For let them bear in mind, that if there was bribery and corruption, the bank, at whom the blow is struck, is only one of the guilty parties—the legislature being the other. To charge a legislature with being bribed, seems to our simple notions, in the pure air of Pennsylvania, to imply gross ignorance of the characters of those whom our people elect to the legislature. To bribe a legislature! We believe this is the first time such a thing was ever thought, much less published, of the legislature of this state, at any rate. We hope the Patriot and the Globe will see the propriety of withdrawing the highly exceptionable and offensive charge originating in the one and included by the other, against the legislature of a state, whose votes they will both be in need of, and whose motto they ought to know, is “Virtue, liberty and independence.”

Page 224: The members of the legislature that passed the resolution in question have returned to their homes; and the undersigned, a portion of those member residing in and near Philadelphia, having an opportunity of conveniently interchanging views, deem it an act of justice to their constituents, and to the people of Pennsylvania, to pronounce the charge, no matter by whom made, by whom repeated, or by whom countenanced, to be on unfounded and atrocious libel.

Page 347: At length they declared, that if Mr. Ingham was not appointed, their friends in the senate would reject the nomination of Mr. Baldwin! Believing that they stated nothing but facts, and being anxious to conform to what he was erroneously led to believe were the wishes of the people of Pennsylvania, he yielded to their entreaties! This false step, however, has occasioned all the bickering, and dissensions, and heart-burnings, which have agitated the cabinet, and which have distracted society in this city.

Page 375: “At a festive club of the Calhoun members of congress from Pennsylvania, the infamous project was conceived of thwarting the views of the president, and of bullying him into the appointment of Samuel D. Ingham. It was a bold and desperate attempt; but upon the issue depended their momentary triumph, or their total overthrow. While the intoxicating juice of the grape was still burning in their veins, these ‘eleven Calhoun members from Pennsylvania,’ posted off to the president, demanded the appointment of Mr. Ingham, and the rejection of Mr. Baldwin. Their demand was not acceded to; they retired to their quarters, collected five members from other states, returned to the president, passed themselves off as the majority of the Pennsylvania delegation in congress, and made a second demand which was not acceded to. At length they declared, that if Mr. Ingham was not appointed, their friends in the senate would reject the nomination of Mr. Baldwin! Believing that they stated nothing but facts, and being anxious to conform to what he was erroneously led to believe the wise of the people of Pennsylvania, he yielded to their entreaties.”