#he is still a dying man with a lot of mistakes who has been alone and watched his sister and father die alone

[oatmilk-vampire]

Birthday Blues

Read part 2 here.

Steve hates his birthday.

He knows he may not be the only one who gets "birthday blues" but he feels like it's a lot deeper than just the blues.

When he got closer with Eddie and learned of his own shitty upbringing, he thought it'd be a bonding moment for them. Eddie has to hate his birthday too, right?

Wrong.

Despite Eddie’s mom dying when he was only six, and Eddie’s dad being a deadbeat, leaving Eddie on his own before Uncle Wayne took him in, Eddie loved his birthday.

The Munsons may not have been rich but Wayne always did his best to provide Eddie with new(er) clothes, or dice, or guitar picks. A new album or poster for his bedroom walls. Maybe even his favorite food at the diner--something they didn't do often as they usually survived on box cereal and spaghetti-Os.

And when Al Munson finally rolled into town conveniently around his only child's birthday, well he'd give the sort of shitty, low-commitment gift only a father could give.

And Eddie looked forward to it all the same. One or two shitty presents in six years is better than none when it comes to his father. He'd take what he could get.

So, when Eddie's birthday comes and goes and Steve gets invited to his and Wayne's get together with the kids, and then a later party with the members of Corroded Coffin--well of course Steve goes. And he showers Eddie with love and meaningful but still kinda pricey presents, because he can. And he wants to. Despite the merciless teasing he endures. The look on Eddie's face makes Steve feel like he's the one that got the greatest gift of all.

This, of course, all falls apart when Eddie points out Steve's own birthday must be coming up, and he's right. And because he has no tact he announces in front of everyone who realizes in horror that they've gone years of knowing Steve and celebrating his birthday exactly zero times.

Steve's equally horrified now because now everyone is tripping over their feet desperately trying to make it up to him with cakes and ice cream and movies and handmade cards and weird action figures Eddie probably would have liked better.

It's only after Steve gracelessly accepts all of their gift-giving, and fends off at least three panic attacks and two migraines that he has to put on his bitch voice and scream that the only thing he wants for his birthday is to be left alone.

And like usual, the kids do not listen.

Until Eddie steps in. He makes them go, Robin too, even if she is pissed about it. But they go when Eddie assures them that Steve probably just feels a little overwhelmed right now and needs some space.

He's close to leaving too, knowing he may have made a mistake and should probably get out of his hair... But then Steve starts crying and Eddie has to stay.

It's not loud or ugly, just these little, tiny pitiful things like Steve is trying his damnest to not cry. Like the act of tears falling would kill him.

Eddie cautiously slides next to his shaking form on the couch, careful not to jostle him too much.

He bites his lip as he experiments with placing a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve tenses under his touch until Eddie speaks,

"Stevie, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. None of us did."

His parents were hardly around. Never gave him practical toys he wanted, just whatever they thought a boy should have to shape him into a "proper young man", if they thought he needed toys at all. No parties. Ever. He briefly wanted to throw ragers when he realized he was old enough and his parents wouldn't be home, they never were, but those made him feel even worse so he got used to spending the day like any other. All alone in a big, empty house. Not a home.

Eddie continues to rub soothing circles into Steve's back as he lets it all out, explaining his woes as best he can through a sore throat and runny nose. Eventually he pulls Steve into a proper hug-turned-cuddle until his breathing steadies and he isn't shaking anymore.

"I'm sorry." Eddie holds his breath, hoping it doesn’t trigger another panic attack.

"No--don’t be. Thank you."

"For what? Making you cry?"

"For caring enough to bring it up, even if it was a lot. But mostly for being here, after. Just..."

Steve didn't have to finish his sentence. Eddie knew what he was trying to say.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for holding me. Thank you for loving me.

"Always, Stevie. I'll always be here for you."

Steve squeezes him, and Eddie squeezes back once, twice.

He doesn't say it, but Steve understands.

Happy Birthday... I love you.

[tiredesperdad]

I've been thinking about their dynamic way too much since I've started playing age of calamity + replaying breath of the wild so here are some of my thoughts about Teba and Revali under the cut.

Like sadly age of calamity barely scratches the surfaces but man their relationship could be so interesting and if you ask me there isn't nearly enough Revali&Teba fanfic out there. I need them to bond in those "the champions live" AUs, I need it!

Anyway....

So we have Revali. Champion of the Rito. Master of the sky and greatest archer they have ever seen. He worked his ass off to create his gale and he's regarded highly among the Rito even a hundred years after his death. But also he was most likely still very young. There are different headcanons but I'd like to think that he was of similar age as Zelda and Link. We don't know anything about his family but either he wasn't really close with anyone while he was still alive or he lost everything in those 100 years he was gone (most likely a bit of both). He's a bit of a drama queen. He acts arrogant but we know from the champion's ballad dlc that he was rather insecure and putting up a front. He's the kinda guy you sometimes just wanna tell to shut up.

Then you have the Rito who look up to him. Nobody had a blood connection to him or really remembers him as an individual, not like the other champions. He's kind of a legend among the Rito.

And that brings us to Teba.

Teba, like the rest of the Rito, always looked up to their champion and the stories they were told about him. He's the best warrior the Rito have at the time of breath of the wild. He has a son and wife but still acts pretty reckless. Saki and Harth describe him as impulsive and Teba describes himself as rather blunt and direct. He seems like a bit of a grump but also is caring.

And now put those two together.

Like I just love this dynamic of Teba meeting /the/ Rito champion, the guy he spent his whole life looking up to and he's barely older than a fledgling. He's a kid whose kind of a dickhead but also absolutely has all of the skills that are remembered about him. But also like holy shit he's so young. And alone. There are no blood relatives left, everyone he knew is dead. He probably didn't even have many connections while he was still alive. Revali went through a lot of shit, too. Like depending on the AU he not only woke up 100 years later but he probably remembers the fight against windblight ganon, he remembers the fear, he remembers dying maybe. But also he's too proud to admit it and he doesn't open up to anyone.

But then there's Teba who is blunt, he's direct. So I'd like to think he'd be the perfect person for Revali in such a scenario because let's be real, Revali needs someone who will call out the bullshit once in a while and just flat out tells him what he doesn't want to hear but needs to hear. Maybe someone who sees him for the person that he is and not just the champion Revali.

Also I feel like at some point the Rito (in Revali's time) were looking up to Revali so much he really just lived that front of the Rito champion. He couldn't show weakness, he always had to be strong and perfect and couldn't make any mistakes. But that shit can't keep going and Teba probably would just.... kick his ass about it once in a while.

Plus I'm 100% accepting from age of calamity that Revali is good with kids and takes on Tulin/trains him (maybe even the other kids).

Anyway.... Just.... Revali's and Teba's dynamic man. I just love the thought of Teba being that adult that Revali so desperately needs but I also like the thought of these two shitheads impulsively going off all the time and driving Saki and Harth crazy. You have Revali who is about to do something stupid and everyone is like "ah thank god Teba went to stop him" but Teba 100% would go along with it almost every time.

Also sidenote: Give me those Kass and Revali bonding moments. There are exactly zero Kass&Revali fanfics on AO3 and it's killing me, I love Kass so much, please give Revali a calm adult who will play songs for him, thanks.

Also another sidenote: I know mute Link is a big headcanon in the fandom but I've always imagined that he's much more talkative after losing his memories and that would be the reason why he and Revali would get along a lot better if the champions ended up being alive after the 100 years of Link sleeping. A big reason why Revali dislikes Link so much is because he doesn't speak his mind and shows no emotions so I think they absolutely could get over this with Link just being more open (and Revali swallowing his pride for once) because he doesn't have to put up a front anymore.

[violet-fire-cat]

So many Etho’s. Yes this is all Etho! Doesn’t really look like him in some of them does it, but it is! Vampire Etho is two hundred years old, he’s been around a while! And I wanted to play with designs a bit, figure out how he might have looked like over the years. And of course, how he looked when he was human!

These were a lot of fun and I’m really happy with them! And there’s some of my ramblings, info and stuff under the cut as well if you’re interested!

1820s - Growing up in a little rural town somewhere in Canada in the early 19th century, Etho, then known as Edward Stone, was set to live a pretty ordinary life. Until a stupid mistake and a bit of bad luck left him being attacked by a vampire. After fleeing his home town Etho was on his own, left to figure all of this out for himself. It was hard, and he spent much of his time as a fledgling half-starved and somewhat wild in the woods, only venturing near humans to hunt and feed. No longer effected by the cold, what he wore wasn’t much of an issue and running around barefoot was fine. New, less tattered clothes and a haircut would be nice though. Maybe a bath too. And a hug (but he might bite).

1880s - After sixty years Etho’s an experienced vampire who knows how to navigate the world. Still very solitary though, and mostly keeps to himself. Other vampires were usually dangerous so it was easier to be alone. A little bit wild even now, he’s not the tidiest guy around in how he dresses, but he doesn’t really care. It’s enough to allow him to move through towns without drawing unwanted attention to himself, and that’s all he needs most of the time.

1940s - Oh he looks quite smart here doesn’t he. Now living in the UK with Xisuma’s Court, it’s surprising what a bit of stability and support can do to a mans presentation. Life is definietly easier here, despite the less than ideal state much of the world is in right now. Etho’s happy though, he has friends here. Somewhere in the last sixty years he’s obtained those distinctive scars across his left eye, I wonder what happened there...

1980s - Now he’s starting to look a little more like the Etho we know! He’s left the Court by this point and is living on his own in the city, but he’s still friends with them and hangs out with them a lot like he does in the present. Fashions are changing rapidly, which opened a lot more opportunities for clothes, and he seems to have embraced that a bit! Grew his hair out for the first time, decided he liked it long and was never cutting it short again. The scarf would often get pulled up over his face as a makeshift mask and he realised it worked well for hiding his fangs and he kind of liked that. That coat has a maple leaf on the back as well.

1990s - Etho has discovered hair dye! He’s got a proper mask too! He also started going by the name ‘Etho’ at some point in the 90s, exactly how that happened though I’m not sure just yet. More than once he’s asked why he’s dying his hair blonde when he’s already blonde. He just shrugs and says he likes the brighter colour.

2020s - And here we are at the present. Etho as he is now, how we know him! Fluffy hooded coat, bleached white hair, and all! He’s definietly changed a lot over the years hasn’t he. But, two hundred years is a very long time, so there’s bound to be a lot of changes!

[sainamoonshine]

In which Hob teaches some immortals a few things. (Part 1?)

Bullet point fic because I have read an incredible amount of sandman fics for someone who hasn’t yet, you know, actually seen the show yet.

Crossover with The Old Guard, all mistakes are my own given that, as mentionned, I have only seen gifsets of this show. I did see The Old Guard tho.

Sorry for the lack of read more! I’m on mobile and never learned how to make them on here

So one day in say, late 2019 or something, Hob Gadling is on vacation in Paris.

It’s going pretty well until he gets into a random accident involving a car pileup and both him AND some dishevelled other guy jumping to push pedestrians out of the way. He gets slammed into the pavement and run over a little. The other guy bounces off a car hood and ricochets into a telephone pole in a way that has got to be painful.

They both stand back up. The other pedestrians & car drivers are panicking but relieved that they seem okay; but both Hob and the other guy know what a bone snapping sounds like and that all of the noise just now wasn’t just made by the cars. They both strongly suspect that other guy should be dead. Like dead-dead.

Hob is just like. Baffled. But not entirely sure he saw right? But other dude is looking at him wide-eyed. At the first opportunity he grabs Hob and pulls him into an alley.

The guy’s name is apparently Booker, and he starts talking real fast at Hob, like ‘okay so I’m really not the right person to explain this but. Don’t panic but you just died back there.’

And Hob is like ‘? I did not. That’s like. Literally I did not die. I got back up, that’s the opposite of dying as far as I’m aware’

And Booker keeps trying to explain to him but not really making a lot of sense (he’s still alone and depressed and drunk at that point in time) so Hob is the one to eventually suggest they go back to his hotel so Booker can calm down and maybe breathe and explain slower

When they arrive at the hotel Booker is like ‘huh you’re taking all this really well tho’. Like he just told this guy he’s immortal and the guy is making tea about it. The fuck. Booker himself did not react nearly quite as well back in his days.

Hob just shrugs like ‘well yanno. I’ve been immortal for a while now.’

Which is. Not what Booker expected to hear???? What the fuck? Why did he or the others never dream of Hob then!?

What ensues is a long, semi-coherent conversation, the initial 70% of it being actually two different conversations that they both think they’re having until finally they manage to figure out that they are a completely different type of immortals.

Or at least that’s the best conclusion they can make, given that Hob doesn’t dream of other immortals and certainly never died (that’s the opposite of what I’m aiming for!) and Booker never spoke to some supernatural (assumed?) creature in a tavern, nor did any of the others as far as he knows.

Also Hob seems quite certain that he could choose to stop being immortal. Booker has… emotions about this. He doesn’t react super well.

Doesn’t react well as in Booker books it. (Ah.) He just can’t stay in that room any longer with that immortal man that chose this. What the fuck is wrong with that guy.

Hob, at this point, has some experience with immortal beings ditching him so he just figures Booker needs some space, and he’ll come back or he won’t. But his money is on him coming back (no one likes being lonely, no matter what some supernatural (?) creatures may want to pretend). So he extends his stay in Paris for a few weeks, just in case.

As expected, Booker comes back. Except he’s got Quynh with his this time, who just straight up showed up in his apartment. The universe, apparently, just won’t let him be depressed in peace.

So he brings Quynh to Hob because he doesn’t fucking know what to do about any of this and Hob seems to have the immortality shit on lock.

They all end up talking long into the night. After a week he has to return to London to teach, a profession that he speaks with a lot of passion about, that he tells them is the best one he’s had yet. That helping shape the future of his students makes him glad to have been alive long enough to meet them; that it feeds his soul and makes him feel like he’s making a difference more than fighting ever did.

Hob just loves being immortal yall, and he also has quite a lot of practice in the fine art of explaining to someone else why living is worth it, even if that person absolutely cannot understand it at first.

Booker isn’t convinced by the time Hob leaves, not by a long shot, but for the first time in a long time some cracks have started to show in the darkness of his mind. And cracks is how the light gets in.

As for Quynh, the reason she sought out Booker was that she didn’t want to be alone anymore, after her trauma. But she wasn’t ready to meet up with Andy yet, either. And meeting someone like Hob, someone who gets it, but who didn’t drown with her every night for hundreds of years…. It soothes something within her that she didn’t even know needed to be soothed. You see, unlike Booker, she does still want to live. She’s never met another immortal that shares that burning desire for life before, not even Andy (Andy was pragmatic about it. They didn’t choose it but they had it, and that was that). But Quynh’s desire to live is angry, and wounded, and desperate. Hob’s is… hopeful.

Anyway Hob leaves them both with an invitation to visit the New Inn whenever they’re in London next. And a promise that when he sees his Stranger again, he’ll ask if he knows anything about them.

(He’s still convinced that he’ll see the Stranger again. So hopeful. Booker and Quynh can’t wrap their minds around that hope but it burns in Hob like a roaring flame and they can’t help but be drawn by it. They’ll show up at the New Inn at some point, they know. How can they not?)

[aaronstveit]

hello i would love to hear about i used to live alone before i knew ya and/or vampire au 🤲

hiiii okay i love talking so you can hear about both <33

vampire au (sigh) is more conceptual than anything at this point and only exists because SOMEBODY said "exr vampire au so you can use i'm alive lyrics" and i love vampires so naturally this invaded my brain like a parasite. i love the idea of a vampire enjolras who turns people that he finds dying bc he can't stand suffering and that's how les amis started, and then he makes the mistake of turning grantaire.... oh the arguments they would have about the ethics of turning people into vampires without consent, the responsibilities & obligations you have toward the person who saved you/the person you saved, etc.... my opening line is:

Fuck Grantaire’s life. Death. Afterlife? Undeath? He doesn’t know what to call it, but whatever it is, fuck it.

and i used to live alone before i knew ya!!! my roommates au <3 this one has absolutely no set plot, i'm just writing and seeing where it goes! despite the hallelujah lyric as the title it is supposed to be (mostly) silly. so far it has just been an excuse to explore grantaire as a character because i think it's easy to fall into the trap of him being a general drunk mess but i want to focus more on how he is actually generally good with people in brick canon (enjolras notwithstanding), so just for you here is a long passage that i'm actually really happy with <3

So they Uber. Their driver is an overly-friendly middle aged man who asks a lot of questions about where Grantaire is moving to and why he’s moving and where he works and if he likes his job. Grantaire is too polite to give single-syllable responses like Éponine, so he ends up answering all their driver’s questions and then some. He’s not moving too far, still on the same metro line. His old building had a partial collapse last month and was condemned, oh, you heard about that? Well, he’s been crashing on Éponine’s couch since then because she’s a saint, but now he’s found an apartment that is surprisingly within his budget and less likely to literally fall down around him while he eats his dinner, hopefully. He works in the design department of a greeting card company, which is not as cute as it sounds, it is actually endlessly soul-sucking but he can’t afford to quit and anyway the routine is, tragically, good for him. And in return he hears all about the driver’s life, how he used to drive a bus for the city but got laid off, how he works three jobs now and his wife works two just so they can pay the rent and keep their daughter in dance classes, how he does like driving for Uber because he gets to meet interesting people but he also would just like to get a full night’s sleep for once. And Grantaire, well, he’s never been accused of being a bleeding heart, but. There is something about working-class suffering that just. Gets to him. The specificity of it, the humiliation and the exploitation, the way everyone else looks away because it makes them uncomfortable to know that you are paying the price for their comfort. He thinks of this kind man and all the hours he is missing with his daughter the dancer. He thinks of his parents and all the hours they missed with Grantaire, just to put food on the table. So he tells their driver about an opening in the mailroom at the greeting card company, which Grantaire knows pays decently (well, livably, anyway) because he started out in there. They exchange contact information and Grantaire promises to put in a good word for the guy, and he actually means it, and then Éponine is hauling him out of the car and they’re trying to figure out how they’re going to get all of Grantaire’s stuff up the stairs in one trip when suddenly Enjolras is there, holding the door open for them.

also i want you to know i literally reread suckerpunch literally like an hour ago and i am still blown away by how good it is! the way that you wrote grantaire is everything to me. he IS talented and good with people in canon and you put it through so well! genuinely my favorite les mis fic i've read ♡

[shatteredhope123]

The Day her World Crumbled

Lavender hadn't seen her brother much since her dad had started training him, she felt lonely and had started hanging out with her dad's most trusted men, currently, she was sitting at the table next to one of them, the man's name was Jeremy "so there I was when the mission started going wrong and I accidentally tripped and got this massive deep cut here which is turning into a scar" he told her as she stared at the scar, she had always been amazed by her dad's best men as they always seemed so cool, she realized that they were human like her and still made mistakes "wow that sounds like it hurt a lot" she told him and looked at her book in front of her, she had been taught everything she needed to know like reading, writing, math and stuff like that. "It did hurt but things in life tend to hurt sometimes and there's nothing anyone can do to help," he told her, she nodded and showed him a page in her book "Look at this animal its so cute and small but it's deadly" she had always liked deadly things as she could see the beauty that most couldn't "wow that sure is a cute one, it's amazing that it has rings that glow when it's threatened but can't be touched because it can sting," he told her, he enjoyed hanging out with Lavender because she was just so adorable, he tended to accidentally treat her like she was his kid when Vesper wasn't around as he thought the kid deserves better than an abusive asshole who cares about no one. Lavender happily ate the apple slices that were near her book "I'm gonna go watch Derek train" She got off the chair and left her book on the table, she ran off to the training room, she sat down in a nice out-of-the-way place. Derek was getting tired, he had a lot of injuries on his body from failing, he couldn't take it anymore and his elemental power lashed out at Vesper "I can't do this anymore! You're a horrible abusive monster who shouldn't have had children!" He immediately started attacking Vesper, his attacks were sloppy and not great. Vesper got angry "You are my kid and you'll do whatever the fuck I say, I've given you everything you ungrateful brat" Vesper slammed Derek onto the cold hard floor, he immediately started causing as much pain as possible to Derek as Derek screamed and tried to fight back. Lavender watched in horror, she wanted to help but she was just a kid and knew that she was powerless to help. Vesper stabbed Derek and left the room, Derek coughed, he felt weak, and he knew that he was dying. Lavender rushed over and hugged him, she didn't care about Derek's blood on her, he gave her his elemental power as he had a feeling he'd do great things with it "Take care of yourself Lav I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to win against dad but I know that one day someone will kill him as revenge for all the pain he caused" he told her as his eyes started to close. "Please don't leave me! I don't want your elemental power I want you to be okay" Lavender started sobbing, her world felt like it was crumbling around her "You're stronger than you know and I love you" Derek said as his eyes fully closed, he had died in pain but at least he hadn't died alone and had Lavender to hold him as he died in her arms, Lavender's sobs got louder, she was now all alone in this world without the one person who always protected her and made her feel safe. Lavender sat there sobbing for what felt like hours until Vesper came back and had Jeremy bury Derek in the backyard, Vesper cared very little about his sobbing child, Vesper walked back to his office. Jeremy walked back into the training room and picked up Lavender "come on let's get you back to your room" he was trying not to cry, he felt his loyalty to Vesper weakening, he carried her back to her room "I know how you feel" he told her causing her to lash out at him "Leave me alone! You don't know what how I feel" after Lav said that Jeremy set her down and left quickly to leave her to grieve on her own.

[archive-of-note]

Ezra / Reaper!Reader

Not really romance, just a blurb that was rattling in my head the past two days.

The arm removal scene, no real details given.

———

“You aren’t what I was expecting.”

You raise an eyebrow, “What were you expecting?”

He’s pale and sweaty, the infection of his arm is obviously killing him.

“At best? Nothing.”

You nod along, death being a complete absence of all things is a common interpretation.

“And at worst?”

He huffs a laugh, and it sounds like it hurts, “The visage of all those I’ve wronged, a final conscious reminder of my mistakes before I suffer in the sulfurous plane of the damned.”

“You speak a lot for someone fighting a moving, necrotising infection.”

He laughs again, “My mind is loud and crowded, I need to make space for my thoughts somehow.”

You chuckle a bit, taking stock of the tent that doesn’t appear to be his, or at least it didn’t start that way.

“Do you look the same to everyone?”

“Hmm?”

“The face you wear, is it the same for every soul you reap, or do you change your looks to fit the circumstance?”

You shrug, because you really don’t know.

“I look how you need me to.”

He huffs another laugh, this one humorless, “Of course, what better salve then temptation?”

You tilt your head in confusion.

He laughs again, “My life to be taken by a creature so breathtaking.”

It’s an odd descriptor, but not unheard of. You’ve been described as bewitching, attractive, a siren for the damned, the list goes on. Rarely has the sentiment been expressed directly to your face.

“You aren’t dead yet, I’m here just in case.”

He makes a confused noise, eyes closed and head tilted back.

“There’s still some wind in your sails, and Free Will means so few things are certain, you might die here, you might not, there is still time for decisions to be made.”

“What are the decisions of a dying man?”

There is a flicker coming this way, frantic and flaring, bursts that steal your attention before almost vanishing back into the brush.

“Who said the decisions were yours alone?”

The spirit fades, taking a turn that leads it away from this tent.

“Time is not one to rush, but indecision means it has a chance to pass you by.”

He looks to you, and you look to the short wave radio in the corner.

“They may kill me.”

“They may not.”

“Why do you wish to see me live?”

This always confuses you, the belief that you sit in wait for their lives to end, licking your chops and counting their breaths.

“All things die, I will visit every single one of you, not now, but eventually. Why rush our meeting?”

He looks at you, then to the radio, then back to you.

“Can,” he swallows, “can you stay?”

“I stay until I am no longer needed.”

That seems to be a satisfactory answer.

He gets the radio working, calling out to the toxic moon, and that flickering light returns.

The light is small, young.

And while you’ve seen everything sentient life has to offer in terms of cruelty, this child’s spirit is strobing, her will to live existing in fits and starts.

Her father’s spirit is still wandering, something compelled you to leave it, let him think he still has any effect on the world around him.

Enough of him feels guilty, so you allow his soul to wonder this verdant hell as it’s purgatory.

The confirmation that his arm needs to be removed scares him, the reality of it finally hitting home.

He shoots himself up and mumbles about a tingly sensation.

His hand clenches repeatedly as the sedative fills the limb.

You grab his hand, and he looks to you terrified, the sedative is old, paralyzing the limb just fine but the nerves still fire.

He talks through it, rambling about his life and his talents and the memories the hand will take with it.

It hits the ground with a pathetic thud.

You don’t need to be here anymore, she cut so far up above the wound that the infection is basically gone in it’s entirety, only minuscule traces remain in his system. Easily taken on by his immune system.

The now dead limb still holds your hand tight.

He looks at the empty space, flexing fingers that are no longer there, squeezing your hand and tapping out a restless nonsense rhythm.

“I need to go, Ezra.”

His breathing stutters as you say his name.

“You’ll live,” you press your lips into a line and tilt your head side to side, “well for now at least.”

A short laugh, almost manic, bursts from his throat.

You squeeze his now phantom hand.

“We’ll meet again, but hopefully not for a long time yet.”

He squeezes your hand in return.

With one last kind look, you vanish.

[kexing]

Triage notes for eps 6-7:

THEY’RE KILLING MAI’S MOM I HATE YOU EVIL PROFESSOR AND GOPHER

The way everyone’s heads snapped to Sing after he asked Gap to dinner, like they all can’t believe he got himself together enough to ask. And then Gap’s disappointment when Sing invites them too! He was fixing his hair and everything!

Tin pulling Tol’s blanket up while he’s comatose :’(

Surprise forgotten childhood friends!

I really don’t blame Mai at all. It’s not right for her to use Tol for his money, but really this poor fucking girl. And in previous loops this would mean that her mom and Tol both die on the same night. This is way too much for one person to handle normally.

Tin is wrecked by Tol dying this time, it was so painful and way more drawn out than before. And now Mai has 2 funerals to plan because her mom was HARVESTED, and Fang got MURDERED for finding out about it, and Varit was already in a bad mental space and now he has to deal with the knowledge that one of his kidneys was stolen, and it’s all falling apart.

“Everything went all wrong” YOU’RE TELLING ME, TIN

Thank god Jinta’s here we need you now more than ever angel man.

Tin: So all I have to do now is break up Tol and Mai, save Varit, save Mai’s mom, and uncover the organ stealing conspiracy in this hospital all in the space of a week, and then Tol will be saved!

Me: Bro WHAT

But I also love that he technically doesn’t have to keep saving Varit, but he still keeps it as a top priority in all the loops. I would at least be tempted to have one less thing to worry about in this situation.

-

Oh I’m sorry, he needs to break up Tol and Mai, save Varit, save Mai’s mom, uncover the organ stealing conspiracy in this hospital AND get Tol to fall in love with him all in the space of a week. My mistake.

“Who would want me?” Said the incredibly pretty and compassionate doctor.

I love how he delegates the hospital conspiracy to Sing while getting his other friends to help him with dating. “Yeah I think our professor is secretly stealing and selling patients’ organs. Anyway I gotta go Toi and Pin are gonna help me with my 90s romcom makeover.”

I get warning her away to protect her after what happened last time, but cmon Fang’s totally gonna get involved, that’s not even a question.

“and then you drowned” huh

Of course! Cats are always the answer!

Sing is approaching Lady Sam levels of poor handling of emotions and communication. You can just thank Gap for the drink my dude!

Tin’s really having to put his “I can fix him” theory to work this loop, isn’t he?

Tol: This guy is so annoying, why can’t he just leave me alone already?

Random old friend of Tin’s: hey

Jealousy Activated!Tol: And whomst the fuck is this

welcome back!!! 🥳🥳🥳

yeah, they’re the fucking worst 😭😭😭

akjskaksksks YEAH. top 10 anime betrayals when sing invites everyone else. poor gap

soft tintol moments my beloveds 🥺🥺🥺

forgotten childhood friends? in MY bl? extremely likely, if not required.

on this blog we support mai’s rights and wrongs!! she’s been through a lot as well, in every fucking loop!

god the way tin breaks down over tol 😭😭😭 my fucking HEART. this loop was an entire shitshow 😭😭 just remembering hurts me!!

ALKDAKKDKSKDKS tin has like 345 impossible shit to pull during the smallest time frame all the while studying medicine and yet i deeply admire his confidence. i would’ve died on the spot

lmaooo varit is our beloved. gotta save him nonetheless

GOTTA MAKE THAT BOY FALL FOR HIM AS A TREAT!!!! if nothing else, he’s gonna get a boyfriend out of this fucking mess!!!

no but real, he thinks so lowly of himself while literally being the best character in the show and pretty AF. like come on tin, if you can save everyone and end the organ traffic, you can get one person to like you aldkkskdk

IT’S TIME FOR SOME ROMANCE. THE FUCKING PLOT CAN WAIT ALKDAKDKSKKDK

fang cares so much. she’s such a queen 😭😭😭

and then you drowned 🥰🥰🥰

SAM AND SING ARE LOST SIBLINGS ISTG

lmaooooo he is 🤣🤣🤣🤣

JEALOUS TOL IS MY FAVORITE AKDJSKKDSK HE’S SO PETTY AND FOR WHAT MY GUY, YOU WERE LITERALLY JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT TIN 🤣🤣🤣

too funny pls

have funnnn 🥰🥰🥰

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Cryptomnesia —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: We reached the fun part! Enjoy -Danny

Words: 1,017

Phase Five Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Anti-Hero’ -by Taylor Swift

xiii: Turning Point

She'd reached rock bottom and she could not fall any further. The so-called best Avenger the world would never meet, unemployed and working for half-assed mobsters and fraudulent governments.

No one could get her out of the massive hole she'd dug, but at least now that she'd reached her limit, Cat doubted things could get any worse. November ended, and M.O.U.S.E. was still trying to get a hold of her files.

Harley was working as an intern at Stark industries, Pepper liked him and he'd proved to be an extraordinary addition to the company. Life was so incredibly monotonous for a while, so much so that when Clint Barton called her, she thought it was a scam.

"Who?"

"Very funny," he replied. "I don't have much time so can you please not interrupt me?"

"Since when do you have my number?"

"You've had the same number since you were sixteen, pretty sure everyone has you on speed dial."

"Pretty damn rude of them to never call, then," she taunted him.

"I need intel," he ignored her. "I'm trying to contact the tracksuit mafia."

She chortled. "They're dumber than your little pinky! Why on earth would a guy like you contact them?"

"You seen the news?"

" If I need to know anything, my assistant tells me about it."

"The Ronin was seen in New York."

"You're in New York?"

"No. A kid stole my suit at an auction—"

"What? I thought those were over!"

"You didn't do your job, did you?"

"You're not doing a good job at convincing me either," she scowled. "Scratch that, I don't want to be convinced. Whatever you're asking, forget about it. I'm not an Avenger and I'm not your buddy."

"Copy—"

"Nah-ah! I'm out. I'm tired of you heroes—"

"This kid is at risk if we don't do something—"

"How old are they?"

"About your age."

"They're old enough to take responsibility for their dumbass actions. Stealing the Ronin suit, really," Cat scoffed. "Don't they know he's like a death magnet?"

"My kids could lose their father, Cat."

She moved the phone away from her ear and muttered a bad word. Her soft spot had always been children. "You should've thought twice before having them, don't you think? Agents are always dying."

"I really don't have time to listen to a crybaby lecture me about my life choices as if she knew better. Just give me their contact."

"How do you know I have it?"

"You've been making some questionable friendships for a whole year, and a lot of people in S.H.I.E.L.D. still got their eyes on you."

The information made her angrier. "Get your intel from someone else."

"I have no one else."

She hesitated. "What?"

"You should know," he sighed. "There's no one left."

"There's double the amount. You heard Bruce's cousin is a hulk now too?"

"You know what I mean," Cat knew what he meant. "We had this in common, Cat. We wanted others to pay and we called it justice. I made a mistake, and that mistake is back to bite me in the ass. Who's to say yours won't come back later? And who will help you if that happens?"

The young woman squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I can't do this. I'll give you their contact but leave me out of it."

"Deal."

She sent him the info. "You're lucky I didn't delete it. Those assholes cost me a partner."

"You broke up with Spider-man?" He asked in surprise.

"The hell are you talking about?" A flash of something went through her head. Familiarity. "You got what you wanted, now leave me alone."

"One last thing," he added. "If I don't call you by midnight, come for me."

"I said—"

"I promised my kids I'd be back for Christmas."

"Oh, fuck off," she groaned. "Now you're just taking advantage of me."

"You have a chance to turn your life around, Heathen. A single act could exonerate you."

"Doubt it. I've done more than just 'messing up', I am the whole problem."

"If I report back, case closed. You can tell yourself you're better off alone. But if I don't call, you'll have to be more than just mad... or you could stay as mediocre as you've proven to be, that's up to you."

"Did Steve take a course on speeches? Everyone else is so shitty at it..."

"You're a pain in the ass but I always thought you had something special in you."

"Ew." She replied, not very flattered. "I hope you don't step on anything slippery, the hip surgeries are expensive these days, and you'll leave Nathaniel out of college."

The man sighed. "Talk to you later."

"Mouse," Cat tried to sound casual, but her eyes kept glancing at the phone on her counter. "Give me the time."

"Three A.M."

"That's way past the hour Clint said he'd call..."

"Three hours late, to be precise."

She stared out her window, then shook her head and walked to the bathroom. The mutant faced her mirror with a frightened gaze, if she did this, it would mean taking a step back. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to handle all the disappointment that ensued.

"I'm not a hero," she told herself. "Snap out of it!"

"Boss?"

"What?"

"I've got full access to the Power Broker's cloud. I need your confirmation to start deleting—"

"Delete the files!" Cat's slitted pupils widened.

"Okay."

"Also..." a look of determination settled on her face, things could only go up from here, right? "Send a flea to the tracksuits. I should make sure he's not dead."

"Sending the flea."

The miniature drone left the apartment. Cat washed her face, and went back to her bedroom.

M.O.U.S.E. reported back."All files have been deleted. Barton is alive but he's being held hostage. A young woman is with him."

"Give me visuals."

The A.I. projected the scene from its place: Clint and a girl she didn't know were both tied to mechanical rides for children.

She sank down on the mattress defeatedly. She grabbed her phone to look at the time and saw Pietro's face once more. The image pulled her heartstrings and made her frown. "I wanted to end this... you brought him to me, didn't you?"

Cat walked up to her closet, dragged out a box hidden at the very back, and from it, she pulled out her spear, a cape, and a smartwatch.

"At least I get to see Clint riding a unicorn..."

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae​​​ @ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​​ @itsyagirl01 @23victoria​​​​ @espressopatronum454​​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch

[morganski-19]

Conversation 3: The Breakup

JANCY BREAKUP SCENE. IF THIS ISN'T YOUR THING, PLEASE SKIP!!!!

I want to emphasize that I do love Jancy, but for the purposes of this fic series, Ronance and Jargyle are the relationships shown. I just had an idea of how the breakup conversation would have gone and wanted to show that it was mutual between the two. This takes place between chapters 3 and 4 of the main fic. It can be read as a stand alone and is also available on ao3

To say that Nancy Wheeler was nervous was an incorrect statement. Because Nancy doesn’t get nervous. That was something her younger self focused on too much and something she doesn’t have time to care about now. Being nervous meant that she was worried that this was the wrong decision, that she was going to make a mistake. 

Nancy Wheeler does not make mistakes. 

Or at least she tries not to make them anymore. She understands that people aren’t perfect, humans weren’t made to be. And the human psyche is bound to make mistakes and decisions that they would later regret. She’s seen too many people do the same thing. 

Her parents are a large example. Karen Wheeler married a stable man to have a family. White picket fence on the end of a culdesac where she has no worries in the world other than making sure her kids are safe and get to school on time. Them being a good match not being considered as much. Because who cares if your kids see you fighting once a week, at least you’re not starving. 

It's a life Nancy knows she doesn’t want. She doesn’t want to be trapped by a man as useless as her father. Waiting on her husband's hand a foot while he does absolutely nothing but make a fuss and the situation worse. She’s seen how marriage has treated her mother and she doesn’t want to become her. The love and pity Nancy has for her mother are great, and all she wants is for her to be happy. But her life is separate from her mother’s, and that’s by her own choice. 

Nancy’s had a lot of privileges in her life, but the ability to choose has been one that flounders in and out of her hands. She can choose her relationships, her friends, her college, her major. Things she loves so much that it makes her happy. What she can’t choose is the unexpected. Monsters breaking through portals in trees and ceilings, children going missing, best friends dying, the inevitable grief and pain of knowing that you could have done something to help. She didn’t choose this part of her life, and yet it is hers. 

Though the bad things in her life have brought her to people she never would have expected. A new sense of self and bravery. Assuradness in herself that she can do something with her life more than just be a mother. Drive and passion beyond what she ever envisioned that will fuel her future career. Friends and a family outside of blood relations that will be there for her every step of the way. And a boyfriend, who has his faults, but is there regardless. 

Except when she really needs him. 

It’s something she’s been grappling with for the past few weeks, maybe even for the past few months. There’s something that she can’t quite explain but has been lingering in the back of her mind for some time. She knows that what once was between them isn’t quite there anymore, something lost with the bits of themselves over the years. People grow, and more importantly, people grow apart. 

She knew that she started to feel differently about Jonathan since the phone calls and letters started to dwindle. When he stopped sending and she stopped responding. Stopped reaching out to make sure he was still there. At first, it presented in anger. Anger that he just left her behind and stopped talking to her. Anger that she knew he was keeping something for her and wouldn’t say it. That it was driving a wedge between them that was starting to stop being repaired. 

Nancy hated secrets. But she hated it more that he felt like he couldn’t tell her something.

She’d had that before in relationships, with Steve. Lying for the sake of saving face and saying things that weren’t true. Faking feelings for the sake of stability only to hurt when the mask had fell. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Steve, she did, she just didn’t love him. But he loved her, and that’s what she wanted. A shoulder to cry on, someone to tell her it was alright. A crutch to hold her until she could stand for herself again. That’s what he was to her, and she hated herself for reducing him to that. 

So, when she started dating Jonathan, she decided that it was time for a change. She was more open and accepting, and tried to get him to share so they would be on an equal playing ground. It worked, mostly. They had fights like any couple did, but they always came back from it. It was a promise they made, to never let something build so much that it would break. That was what she did to Steve, and she didn’t want to do it again. 

But she did do it again because apparently, she loved to hurt people like this. She kept in her disappointment in him not visiting for spring break. Kept back wondering why the letters stopped and why the news of college applications never came. Not that she would even be that mad if he didn’t go with her, she just wanted to be kept in the loop. 

And that is exactly what he didn’t do. Not that she blamed him. It was the plan for the two of them to go to Emerson together, her dream school. Nancy always wondered why he agreed to the plan so quickly, even though she heard him talk about dreaming of NYU since he was a child. And if that were really where he wanted to go, she would support it. New York and Boston were not as far away as Hawkins and Lenora. They could have made it work if that is what he wanted. 

Deep down, all Nancy wanted was for Jonathan to be happy. It’s why she kept up the appearance that everything was ok when it wasn’t. Because he was happy. It’s what he deserved to be after all that had happened. 

Then the bomb dropped. He never sent in the application and was too ashamed to tell her why. At that moment, something broke in their relationship and she didn’t know if it would be fixed. Because he didn’t trust her enough to say it, and part of her never trusted him to send it. 

Which is why the two of them decided to take a break from each other for a while. Not an official breakup, just a chance to spend some time not tied to each other to figure things out. Let the steam of their last argument fade away and come back when they were more level-headed. To have time to think about what this relationship meant to each other, and if being in it still matched each other's futures. Give her a chance to explore her newfound attraction to women and if one of them happened to gain feelings for another person, then it was done. 

Her screen lights up with a message from Robin.

Robin: Let me know if I have to break out the ice cream tonight

Robin: I still have the good stuff Steve bought me last week

She smiles at the text messages. The thought that Robin has for her sometimes surprises her. She just gets Nancy like no one else does, so far that she even makes time to carve out time for something that might not even happen. Nancy’s never had that many friends, and never one as close as Robin since Barb. It feels nice to have another person know her this well again. 

Nancy: I’ll be sure to let you know

Robin: Are you ready for this?

Robin: I know you were nervous about it before

Nancy: I still am

Nancy: I honestly don’t even know what I want anymore, I just want the two of us to be able to figure it out

The three dots show up and disappear as Robin figures out what to say. 

Robin: You’ll figure it out, you always do

Robin: And no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you

Nancy: I know, thank you

Robin: Anytime Nance

Nancy clicks off her phone and sets it on her desk. She’s been preparing what she wants to say to Jonathan when they get together later all morning. Making a list of feelings and worries she has. All of the things she can do to change to make this work. 

Something in her, however, tells her that it’s over. And that part of her is relieved. The other is worried, because she just doesn’t want to break his heart. 

. . . 

Jonathan sits at the foot of his bed, fiddling with a piece of paper in his hand. Argyle suggested that writing down what he wanted to say might help, even offered to practice with him, but it wasn’t right. He knew that the words he wrote on the paper weren’t the full truth. That he was extending himself more than he should just to make her happy. 

Because that’s all he wants to do, make Nancy happy. 

He doesn’t know if he can fully do that anymore. The hurt on her face when he told her about never sending in the Emerson application replays in his mind. The break that he sensed in their bond that has yet to be mended. The fight that ensued ended in him asking for a break, some time to cool off. She agreed that she needed the time too. And with some of his new realizations, he couldn’t have asked for a better-timed break. 

Time in Lenora drew a strain on their relationship, he knew it. He was the one that stopped reaching out after all. What started as one less phone call a month to never responding to a letter ended in one small form of communication every few months. A note from Mike at the bottom of one of El’s letters, a hello sent through Karen when she called to check in on Joyce. 

It was him who stopped reaching out, it was only fitting for him to be the one to end it. 

Still, it rattled Jonathan’s mind whether he actually wanted to end it or not. He loved Nancy, he really did. Still loved her even. Yet he can’t help but feel like the love has shifted into a different place in his heart. That it was more platonic than it was romantic.

It wasn’t always like that with her. Even before they got together, he had to settle the jealousy in his heart that would spurt every time he saw her kiss Steve. The knowledge that she was in a relationship loomed over his heart. Because she wasn’t his to have, and he had to learn to accept that. 

Then she and Steve broke it off one night and he took her home. Saw the way that he could have this if she wanted it. But it was too soon, so he didn’t say anything. Not until Murray weaseled his way into their love lives and revealed that he might just have a chance. A chance that he took. 

After all the upside down was dealt with and life returned to normal, he made a promise to himself. That he was not going to hold himself back in this relationship, hide like he did when they were just friends. If this was going to work, he needed to put all of his cards out on the table and show her that he cared. Couples fought, he knew that, but he knew how to do it wrong so he tried to do it right. It worked, until it didn’t. 

Because the one thing that Jonathan forgot, is that he got scared. Scared that voicing what he wanted would be downplayed. Scared that saying what he really felt would end in a fight. Scared that a big enough fight would end it all like it did with his parents. 

He knows that fighting wasn’t the reason they broke up. The fact that his dad was a raging abusive asshole was. Yet, there was still the fear in Jonathan’s mind that he could end up like him. So, he bottled up his feelings until they exploded, spreading words faster than he could think, not noticing how much they hurt.

There are a lot of things that he wished he could take back. Fights that wouldn’t have happened if he just talked to her sooner. Opinions that he kept to himself to ensure that she stayed happy. Choices he made without talking to her first, especially the ones that their future depended on.

Not applying to Emerson wasn’t the most logical decision in the sense of their relationship, but it was in the sense of his life and family. If he had just told her about it sooner, maybe then she would have understood. Heard him instead of blowing up what he said to fuel the fight. He wished he told her sooner, he really did. The secret pulled on his heart every time he thought about their future together, the plan the two had made. Go to Emerson, get jobs at the same newspaper, get married, and spend their lives together. 

It was a simple plan in theory, but a plan that Jonathan wasn’t sure he wanted anymore. 

His phone buzzed. Picking it up, he sees Argyle trying to face time him. Swiping, he accepts. 

“Yoo, my dude. How’s it hanging.”

Jonathan laughs at his friend, a familiar smile forming on his face. “Not great. Dude.”

“Awww no. What’s got you feeling down?”

“I’m having that talk with Nancy today. The one I was telling you about a few days ago.”

Argyle’s face lights up with recognition, a small O forming on his lips. “Right. Did you right write it all down like I told you to?”

Jonathan looks down at the paper in his hand, words scribbles out and jumbled into some sort of paragraph. He crumples it up and tosses it in his desk trashcan. “I did, but they weren’t right.”

“But they were something. It’s a start, try again and maybe it will get you further.”

He knows it won’t, because there is something he’s too afraid to think rather than write down. Someone new who started to move from the platonic to the romantic side in his heart. Someone who he never thought could be there before. 

With Nancy discovering new things about herself while they were on their break, he was starting to as well. That’s what it was for after all. Space for them to figure out what they wanted and see if their relationship fit that. If either of them started to have feelings for someone else, that was allowed. Because as far as they know, it was over until it wasn’t. 

It was Nancy who asked for a deeper separation after finding out about her attraction to women. Let herself find out if it was true or not by allowing herself to develop feelings if the chance came up. If Jonathan was being really honest with himself, he was almost relieved at the suggestions. He was starting to do the same thing. 

“I just think that what I have to tell her should come more, from the heart.” Jonathan starts, struggling to find the words. “I think I’ll be able to tell her more in person than I would on paper.”

“Whatever works best for you man. Have you decided what you want the outcome to be yet?”

The question strikes Jonathan speechless. He has thought about it, a lot. Late nights thinking about what he wanted to say, what he could change to make things work out. How they can work together and through this in order to keep what they had. Part of his mind started to wander to what ifs of actually breaking up. How the pain would overtake and leave him broken and alone. Because he didn’t want to lose Nancy. That’s all he seemed to be worried about though. Losing Nancy. Whatever the outcome of this upcoming conversation was, he didn’t want it to end with Nancy not being in his life. Whether or not they were still in a relationship didn’t matter to him as much. 

Which was the most confusing part for him. It was almost as if he had stayed in this relationship with Nancy for so long because of the fear of losing her. Sure, there was love there, had been for a long time. But recently he can’t help but to have noticed that the love started to fade, started to be overshadowed by someone new. 

And that was the scary part. 

“I’m not quite sure,” Jonathan confesses. “I don’t really know if I care too much about how it ends up, I just don’t want to lose her.”

“Have you thought that you not caring is exactly your answer.”

The way Argyle can read Jonathan is still one of the things that shock him the most. For the short time that they’ve been friends, they’ve grown closer than anyone he’s ever known. Including Nancy. He’s been able to tell Argyle things he barely even knew himself. Something about just being around the other wants to make Jonathan spill his darkest secrets. He was the first person Jonathan told about the college decision, about the break, and how he feels like there’s something missing from himself that he can’t quite explain. 

What he hasn’t told him, is that Argyle was starting to make him want to explain it. 

Jonathan sighed, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He gets a text notification that Nancy is on her way over. “I have to go, she’ll be over here soon.”

“Ok. Let me know when you’re done, I’m coming with an emotional support pizza.”

“Some weed probably won’t hurt either.”

Argyle glares at him through the phone. “No weed when there are big emotions. It’ll only make it worse, trust me.”

Jonathan laughs. “Fine. Talk to you soon.”

“Good luck dude.” 

With that, Jonathan hangs up and flops back on his bed. He runs his hands down his face, pressing his fingers against his eyes. He can do this. He just hopes he doesn’t break her heart in the process. 

. . . 

Nancy pulls up in front of the Byers’ house, a million thoughts racing through her head. Gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turn white, she takes a deep breath. She can do this. Just act like it’s a normal conversation, another one of their many talks after a fight that will leave them stronger than they would before. Even though deep in her heart, she’s less sure of that fact than she lets on. 

She walks up to the front door, knocking on it gently. When it opens, she’s met with Jonathan’s weak smile, the one she knows all too well. “Hey, Nancy,” he says, almost apologetically, rubbing his arm. 

“Hi,” she breathes out, giving him a tight-lipped smile. 

Jonathan moves aside, letting her walk through the door. He leads her up to his bedroom, what used to be a place where the two could be free and in love, now filled with tension and the unbearable weight of knowing that something is going to happen. Gesturing for her to sit on his bed, he pulls his desk chair to sit across from her. 

“So,” he swallows. “How are you?”

“Good,” she replies plainly. “And you?”

“Good.”

The silence between the two is deafening. Neither one of them know how to start this, fumbling around with their hands while avoiding eye contact. It shouldn’t be this hard. Jonathan was the person who Nancy could tell everything to. She still wants that relationship with him, but doesn’t know if she can have it by saying what she really feels. 

“I uh, did a lot of thinking in the past week,” Nancy says, trying to start something between them. 

Jonathan finally meets her gaze, if only for a second. “Cool, about what?”

“About my past and stuff. Who I always was attracted to and I found out that yeah, I definitely like girls.”

“I’m glad you figured that out,” he laughs. “It, uh, kinda got me thinking about all of that too. Who I’m attracted to and stuff.”

“Do you think you might be?”

Jonathan nods, filling in the sentence without words. “Yeah, I know I am. Same as you, kinda.”

Nancy smiles. “Well, I’m glad you figured that out as well.”

He stares at the corner of his room before shutting his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he whispers, “That’s not all I’ve been thinking about.”

It shouldn’t surprise her, she’d been doing the same thing. But it does. “Me too,” she whispers back, ashamed. “Mainly about us.”

Jonathan takes another deep breath and looks down at his hands. “Yeah, me too. I just … don’t know if this-” he opens his mouth to say more but the words don’t come out. 

Nancy purses her lips, willing for herself to finish the phrase for him. It’s the same for her, she had a feeling that it was. But she can’t say it, too afraid to have the words cemented in reality. Slowly, she reaches across the gap between them and takes Jonathan’s hand. He meets her gaze and holds it this time, the mutual feelings communicating between them when the words can’t. 

“I know,” Nancy finally says. “I’ve been feeling the same way. I’ve … tried to think of ways to fix this, come back together after all of this. But I can’t help but feel like we can’t.”

. . . 

Jonathan looks at Nancy saying all of the things he’s been feeling, and can’t help but feel relieved. It fills him with guilt, because he knows that there is something else to his decision than there is to hers. But she feels the same break that he did, the bridge that was broken so much that it could never be crossed again. Bridges can be mended and rebuilt, but he thinks that theirs will be rebuilt differently.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, unable to find any other words. 

“I’m sorry, too.” A small tear runs down her cheek. “I just don’t feel the way I used to about you.”

He blinks away the tears starting to form in his eyes. “I feel the same way but I … I just don’t want to lose you.”

Nancy’s face fills with a soft sense of relief. “I don’t want to lose you either. You’re too special to me. Part of me wanted to make things work just so I wouldn’t, but I can’t force myself to feel something that I don’t anymore.”

Tears start to roll down his cheeks, unable to keep them trapped anymore. “I feel the same way.”

“I still love you, I think I always will. But it’s like that love is different now.”

A weight lifts off of Jonathan’s chest as she says the words he’s been feeling for weeks. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“Good, I guess. So, friends,” Nancy smiles.

“Yeah,” Jonathan exhales. “Friends.”

He stands up and steps toward his bed, leaning down to wrap her in a big hug. She grips the back of his shirt, digging her face into his shoulder. The two can’t keep their tears from forming anymore, finally letting the full weight of their decision flow through. Jonathan buries his nose into her neck, feeling the soft strands of hair brush against his face. 

He didn’t lose her, not from this. 

When she pulls back, she wipes the tears from her eyes, smudging her mascara a bit. He returns to the chair across from her, not quite sure where else to go. There is a burning in his chest to tell her everything. Lay all of what he’s felt in the past few weeks on the table. Even though he knows that she won’t be mad, there is still a part of him that’s scared that she’ll take it badly. Because how can he tell her that he’s started gaining feelings for his best friend?

“What’s wrong,” Nancy asks softly, always able to read him like a book. 

“There’s uh … another reason why I didn’t think we would work anymore.”

“Oh?”

Jonathan swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah uh. I’ve sort of started getting … feelings for someone else.” He closes his eyes, unable to force himself to see how she’ll react.

He feels her hand grab his again. “Hey, that’s ok. We agreed that this break was open. You were allowed to start feeling things for someone else if that’s what happened.”

“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty about it though.”

“Don’t be. Can I ask who it is?”

Jonathan feels a small smile form on his face, like he’s gossiping with a friend, not a now ex-girlfriend. “Argyle.”

Nancy smiles. “Would it be weird of me to say that I had a feeling?”

“What,” Jonathan exclaims. “I thought I was hiding it well.”

“You were not,” she laughs. “Every single time we talked in the past week you’ve brought him up. Even in the most random situations.”

Jonathan scoffs. “Guess you’ve got me there. You’re really not mad?”

Nancy shakes her head. “No. I want you to be happy, no matter what.”

“Thank you,” he whispers.

She stands up and pulls him into a hug. “You’re welcome. And I’m not saying jump immediately into a relationship, but don’t hold back because of me. If it happens, let it happen.”

“I will. The same goes for me, if you find yourself starting to like someone again.”

“I definitely will be taking a break from dating for a while, but thanks.” She smiles at him, letting the room fall to silence. “I think I’m going to head out. Robin sort of promised me ice cream if this went the way that it did.”

Jonathan laughs. “Argyle offered me an emotional support pizza.”

Nancy snorts. “I’ll see myself out. Thank you for taking this the way that you did. I’m glad we can still be friends.”

“Me too, Nance.” 

She gives him a small wave before heading downstairs. He waits for the front door to close before shutting his bedroom door, leaning against it with a long groan. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he clicks his chat with Argyle. 

Jonathan: She just left, I’ll take that emotional support pizza now

Argyle: Coming right up

Argyle: Is there anything else that you want

Jonathan smiles at his screen, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. 

Jonathan: No, just some company and pizza

Argyle: Alright dude, be there in 20

. . . 

Nancy shuts her car door and leans her head against the steering wheel. She wills the tears to stay in her eyes. It went how she wanted it to, so she should be happy. But there is a part of her that is still sad that she lost this little bit with him. Then another part of her is happy that he’s found someone else and it’s fighting with the part of her that feels like she should be angry. 

Taking a deep breath, she pulls out her phone. 

Nancy: Are you free, I could really take that ice cream right now

Robin: I’m getting the toppings out right now

Robin: Come over whenever you’re ready

Nancy: Thank you

Nancy: You’re literally the best

Robin: I know

[nextstopparis]

i dont know how to explain, but it’s not even arthur’s “just hold me” that fucks me up. its the way he breathes out a pained “please” as if he thinks merlin might deny him.

[sw1mmingfoolz]

BITE ME : profiles 2

synopsis: you're more than familiar with the concept of 'beards' - you've been one for a few of your gay friends to protect them from the suspicious glares of their families within the horribly conservative korean society. however when lee felix - infamous at yonsei for breaking men's hearts - asks you, someone he has spoken to maybe twice, to pretend to date him so he can shake the rumours and prove he really isn't gay, you find yourself caught up in a very complex situation, a mild identity crisis and... wait - are those fangs???

pairing: felix x fem!reader

felix's friend group (aka bang chan's coven)

felix: dance major and the youngest member of the coven, turned at the age of 19 in 2019 after being attacked in the street. has to help the other members with modern life and has a mild tiktok obsession. has a long list of things he wants to do with eternal life blu-tacked to his dorm room wall. roommates with chan. a shy but incredibly friendly dork. spends his nights baking since he doesn't need to sleep anymore. has seen what we do in the shadows (the movie, not the show) millions of times. has a reputation for breaking men's hearts despite never having dated anyone properly and has no idea why :(

chan: leader of the chan coven at yonsei, having turned all of them himself while they were dying. was turned in the mid 1700s at the age of 21 by a doctor he never met again and has constantly struggled to adjust to modernising life. had to teach himself how to adjust to being a vampire and carries a lot of guilt over mistakes he made at the beginning; and as such takes it upon himself to train the vampires he turns. started his musical career as a violinist and still thinks classical music is superior, but has grown to like hip hop and edm. music major who can play most instruments in an orchestra (living hundreds of years gives you a lot of time to practice!) and is a great producer even though he needs help with technology sometimes. felix's best friend, treats him like a younger brother.

changbin: another member of 3racha, changed in 1935 at the age of 20. lived in america for a while after being changed due to conflict between japan and korea. has the largest apartment and lives alone - is also constantly throwing parties. music major often found in the studio with chan and very protective over the younger members. one of the strongest vampires in korea alongside chan and one of the fastest in seoul. had a decade long period in the 70s where he rebelled against chan due to him feeling overly restricted, which chan is still salty about to this day.

minho: second oldest member of the covern turned at 21 in 1842. dance major who performed in theatres across the country through the late 1800s and 1900s. jisung's very affectionate (with him only) best friend and roommate - everyone thinks they're gay and they play into it to fuck with them. constantly needs felix's help with technology but learns extremely fast. has 3 cats and would die for them. closest in the coven to jeongin as they're both into literature, and constantly trying to get him to keep quiet about their existence.

jisung: turned in 2006 at the age of 19 and is pretty good with the modern age (although he misses myspace and aol lmao). immediately became close with minho and often produces music for him to choreograph to. music major, the other third of 3racha and, like seungmin, hates what he is and pushes it away as much as possible. minho is constantly trying to make him accept himself since he doesn't have much choice anyway. allergic to human blood (none of them know why) and lives off animal blood. hates the twilight comparisons this gets him from felix and jeongin.

+lix's priv :)

<-prev | masterlist | next->

a/n: first chapter will be up either tonight or tuesday morning :') fun fact: felix made and chose chan's twitter header. also convinced him it means 'man i love frogs' for a good 2 years back when they first met. feedback is as always extremely appreciated, asks comments n rbs with tags always really make my day :)

[sortasirius]

“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this.  Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary.  Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this.  I’m coming apart.  I don’t want to hurt you.  Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof.  If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE?????  PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth.  The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain.  It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt.  Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.”  Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters.  Hm.  Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others?  Because I do.  He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around.  But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization.  Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name?  Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen.  Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen.  About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her.  This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode?  He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given?  Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters.  Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him.  He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter.  Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant???  I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board.  It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back.  He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech.  His guilt, his regret.  The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap.  All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck.  Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along.  We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now.  Everybody’s gonna die, Cas.  Everybody.  I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc.  Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.  I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows.  He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life.  When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like.  I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have. 

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being.  It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is.  To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean.  You see yourself the same way our enemies see you.  You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument.  And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are.  It’s not.  And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.  You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love.  That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth.  You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.  You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared.  I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. 

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake.  Don’t love me.  Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me.  Don’t leave me.  Don’t love me.  Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought.  One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything.  It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him.  It doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this.  Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve.  Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will.  We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen.  But they did it.  They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit.  They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story.  This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen.  Dean is missing Cas.  That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them.  Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back.  Chuck will not win.  That’s not the story being told, and right now?  He’s winning.  He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.”  “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road.  It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one.  “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas.  Together.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 13

Summary: Terrified of losing Y/N, the Darkling lets his defenses fall.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, sexual content

Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine // Part ten // Part eleven // Part twelve  

=================================

“Stay with me”, the Darkling trembled as he rushed back to the camp. He held her body close to his chest, her head slumped right where his heart beats thunderstorms in her name.

She’s slipping away, he can feel it. The injuries she suffered and the power she used weakened her irreversibly.

He should be angry with her, enraged, but he had no strength to spare for violent emotions. His heart couldn’t bare much more than the pain he found himself drowning in. It wasn’t the pain of his own wounds, rather the pain of her parted lips and ragged breaths that came like final gushes of air her lungs released.

“HEALER!” He shouted, hoping, praying to the Saints he never believed in before.

“HEALER!” There was something in his screams for help, an unimaginable pain behind it.

Y/N’s fingers twitched, her chest rising in a strange manner; what should expand with an inhale suddenly draws in, a paradox he had seen in dying soldiers.

“HEALER!” It was the kind of scream that went straight for the heart.

Everyone tensed, following the Darkling – a man who never showed genuine emotion other than rage. His call for healers felt like a cry from the heart and soul that stretched across the foundations of who he is. The anguish tore through him as he saw a healer run toward him.

Letting out a shuddered breath in relief, he collapsed to his knees. “Not me!” He growled as the healer tried placing her hands on him, “Help her! Save my wife!”

Nodding, the healer looked down at Y/N with wide eyes. Another healer arrived too, then another, and another.

The Darkling refused to let her out of his embrace as two of the healers tried to take her away. “No!”

“We have to take her”, the first healer insisted. “She doesn’t have long and we have to act fast and that’s not going to happen while you’re clinging to her!” Eyes wide, she covers her mouth as it dawns on her who she’s speaking to. “Respectfully, General.”

Staring at her with raw suffering, Aleksander licked his trembling lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her temple instead of her forehead – forehead kisses in this moment would feel as if he’s kissing her corpse before her final rest. 

He couldn’t stomach that thought.

“If you die, I’ll never forgive you”, he whispers. 

This isn’t how it’s meant to be, how it’s supposed to be. He could never believe anyone ever loved anyone the way he loves her.

Nothing ever made him so frightened as the thought of losing her.

“Take her”, Mal tells them. Looking down at Kirigan who seemed incapable of standing back up on his own, he realized he had to take over.. “And send someone for your General. Send everyone for the wounded in the field.”

Aleksander looked up, jaw clenched and eyes swimming in tears he has yet to shed.

“I’m not leaving”, Mal quipped. “She’s my General.”

Y/N wasn’t able to scream, despite the pain darkening her mind. She tried to focus on her breathing, on staying alive. The only awareness she had was of Aleksander’s arms around her – she felt his scent. When he touched her face, when he tried to gain her attention, she couldn’t open her eyes. Her ears kept ringing, mixing with a rumbling inside his chest. She managed to blink her eyes open once, just one more time to see him, but all she managed to get was a glimpse of his chin and beard.

She wondered how he’d look without it, if it would make him seem boyish, softer. Maybe it would have erased the burden on his shoulders - they may be wide, but they shouldn’t have to carry all that weight alone.

Suddenly, his scent was gone. She tried to reach for him, but her arms could not move, hanging freely instead. Cold seeped in, clinging to her insides, wrapping itself around her heart.

Slowly, her agony had faded. The pain gradually lifted, dissipating like fog. For a moment, she wondered if this is what death feels like – no more pain? No more suffering? Being alone and cold?

Despite everything, if she had a choice, she’d embrace the pain. If pain means she would return to him, to his warm arms, she’d gladly suffer.

Dizzy, confused, she felt herself being pulled up into reality. The disjointed haze receded enough for her to make sense of the world around her. Her eyelids feel heavy as she opens her eyes, the edges of her vision flickering. Blinking fast, her eyebrows knitted as her vision blurred.

‘Aleksander’, she wanted to call, but couldn’t say a word. 

How odd it is that he’s the last one she thought about when she thought she’d die and he’s still the first one to come to mind when she wakes? 

She no longer felt cold. He always had the ability to keep the cold away.

Sniffling, she jerked her hands away as she became aware of another’s touch. Sitting up on a table she was laid upon, she pulled herself aside before looking to the one who touched her earlier.

“It’s just me”, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “I needed to see you.” His voice is soft, sweet like honey.

Scoffing, she narrows her eyes at him and the cup of water he held out for her to take. Her mouth is dry, her throat like sandpaper. She may be angry with him, but the water he held out felt more important than their fight.

“Are you in any pain?” He asks, watching her drink all of the water in one go. “I could have them come and take it away.”

Letting out a loud sigh, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her dry lips.

“Can they take you away?”

Snorting, he suppresses a smile. As long as she’s capable of annoying him, she’s going to be fine.

“What were you thinking?” Threading his fingers through his hair, Aleksander frowned. “You could have died.”

“Would have saved you a lot of trouble in the future”, she quips. Standing, she stumbles.

Feeling his hands on her waist, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat. Even now, when she’d like nothing more than to walk away, her body reacts to him. Looking up at him, she inhales sharply as she sees the tears in his eyes.

“I’m scared”, he admitted and she blinked.

“Of what?” She frowned, “Me?” Does her power frighten him? Because it frightens her.

He shook his head, “Of me”, he looked at her. His hands trembled as they touched her skin, “I’m scared of hurting you.”

“I’m scared of you hurting me, too.��

Dropping his hand, he takes a step back. “I don’t think I’m capable of ever hurting you.”

“Tell that to my neck”, she remarks. Her hand brushes over where his hand had tightened its grip just the night before, fixing his gaze on him. He seemed to regret it.

‘Good’, she thought. ‘I hope it haunts him, because it will haunt me.’

“I apologize”, Aleksander swallows thickly. He can’t remember the last time he apologized to someone. A part of him questioned if he ever apologized for anything he’s done in his unusually long life. “I had no right to act the way I did.”

“You once told me I could choose the way to punish you if you ever hurt me”, she takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

Aleksander nods, “I’m a man of my word.”

“What’s your name”, she asks. “Real name.”

His eyes locked on hers like magnets of different polarities. Isn’t that exactly what they are? She’s his polar opposite in every way, fated to attract.

“Aleksander Morozova.” He uttered a name long forgotten; a name he wanted to forget. 

Aleksander was a weak boy who failed everyone that cared for him. He was soft, young, naïve and a damned fool for ever believing Grisha would ever be free. Even now as he elevated their status, Grisha had to serve a human – the Tsar.

Her eyes held barely contained anger. As her hands clasped, a few stray flickers of light appeared on her fingertips. Unclasping her hands immediately, she raised her chin up. “I want to know everything. Tell me your story.”

“And when will I hear yours?” Darkling demanded, swiping his thumb under his lower lip.

“You seem to mistake this for negotiations”, she maintained eye contact defiantly. “Last night you told me to either go back to the Palace or to cross the fold and return to my father. It’s a choice that would easily mean I can choose to stay with you or leave and never look back.”

Placing a hand on his chest, Y/N smirked. “You can either tell me the whole truth or watch me leave.” She spoke through gritted teeth, “Don’t push me unless you’re willing to lose.” 

Cupping his left cheek, she allowed a luminescent glow cast a light on his handsome features. She was angry, so angry and tired and her own power often terrified her. For once, she wanted to use it for her own benefit rather than hide it.

“What good will it do?” Aleksander’s bottom lip quivers as her light illuminates tears collecting in his dark eyes. “You’ll hate me as they all do. Even my mother saw me as a monster.”

“I’ve seen what you really are. And I never turned away…what makes you think I will now?”

She felt his jaw clench under the palm of her hand as he swallowed thickly, “You would if you could see my heart, all of it.”

Exhaling through her nose, she shook her head. Her eyes soften, her lips parting. How could she ever be indifferent to his suffering? She wished she could be colder, to leave him in tears and not look back. Hearing his words, his belief that he’s unlovable tugged at her heartstrings. 

"Have you no faith in me?"

In a fight, they’re lethal, but around each other their armor is gone.

“I’ve waited for you for centuries. I dreamed about you for hundreds of years before I ever saw your face. I longed for you, missed you, died and lived for you.” Taking her face in his hands, Aleksander bends. His forehead meets hers as his nose brushes against the tip of hers.

“Ever since I laid eyes on you, my dreams have been clearer, focused on you. And in my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been’”, his eyes overflow with tears as he continues with a fractured smile. “I say, ‘I’ve been lost, but I’m here now’.” 

Swallowing thickly, he felt as if his heart was breaking. “You’re the only person who has ever been able to find the real me. You saw me underneath all the darkness.” Reaching for her hand, his fingers tremble. “I was waiting for you without knowing it. I’ll make up for all the mistakes, for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

“So why is it so hard for you to be honest with me?” She whispers, her hands trembling as they hold onto his shoulders.

His frown deepens, “Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“You once joked and said I’m no Inferni”, she shrugged. “You were right about that. My mother was. Father never knew about either of us. Your turn.”

“I was honest”, he sighs. Stepping back, he frowns. “I told you my name, I answered your questions about the black heretic.”

Reaching for him, she felt her heartache intensify once his tears began to flow freely across his cheeks.

“Don’t”, he recoiled from her touch. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, hurt by the rejection. 

“It’s not easy for me to talk about my past. It’s as if I’m cutting myself open, letting the ugliness spill out. It’s not painless.” Swallowing thickly, Darkling’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back more tears from escaping him. “It would have been simpler to close myself off and find an unremarkable lover who’d never dare defy me, but I keep taking the risk because I want to be with you and I hope that one day you will feel the same way about me.”

“I want”, she stopped, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

His voice was quieter, “What do you want? I’ll give you everything.”

“I don’t know”, she replied honestly. “I’m hurt, Aleks. You hurt me after you promised to protect me.”

Running a hand across his face, wiping his tears away. He averts his gaze. Watching her break because of him deepens the cracks in his poorly stapled, bleeding heart.

“What do you want”, she looked to him with a weight in her chest. How can loving someone hurt so badly even when the love is reciprocated?

“Never mind what I want”, he turned away. Facing her now would have chipped away at his fragile sanity, so he did what a coward would – he hid.

“You asked what I want”, she placed her hands on her hips. “I want to know what you want.”

Shaking his head, he let out a breathless chuckle. “You”, he smiled. “I’ll always want you.”

Closing the distance between them, she closed her arms around his neck. Before she could reach for him, he gripped her by her thighs and lifted her effortlessly. Wrapping her legs around his waist on instinct, she got lost in the rush of blood to her head when he pinned her against the table behind her. He paused, searching her eyes. 

Whatever he was looking for, she hoped he found it.

“I don’t own you”, his eyes flicker to her lips as she sinks her front teeth into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. “I never did. Human or Grisha, you always owned me. I was just too blind to see it.”

Brushing his lips against hers, Aleksander smiled in resignation. His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than she ever imagined eyes could be.

“Your silver tongue won’t get you far”, she struggled to keep her eyes open with his lips a whisper away. “But you’re free to try.”

She felt his burning gaze, finding it hard to concentrate on much besides breathing. He observed her, capturing her soft, naturally charming and appealing nature. She’s genuine and sweet, the reason why everyone’s head turns when she walks into the room.

How did he not realize it before?

She’s the sun.

She always was. 

He always did squint angrily at her like he does with the fireball in the sky.

Y/N’s hands ran up and down his chest as her lips claimed his - passionately, roughly, determinedly. Without a word, she started to unbutton his kefta, her cold fingertips brushing his warm skin - until she lost patience and ripped the bottom part wide open, pressing her palm against his chest as he broke the kiss.

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.

“I’ll be mad at you tomorrow. Kiss me”, she ordered, drawing a smile on his lips as she pulled him closer, her lips reattaching to his, her teeth sinking into his lower one.

Pushing him onto the floor, she didn’t waste time. Her bottoms were down so quickly he hardly had time to take a proper breath before she unfastened his pants too.

Heaving, Aleksander could hardly get enough of the view on top of him - her beautiful mouth opening in pleasure every time she sunk down on him, her eyes rolling back into her head, her hands placed over his chest to keep herself steady. She speeds up, prompting his loud, uninhibited moans that drew an honest smile upon her lips. He trusted up and into her as his high hit fully, taking her by surprise. She gasped, his thrust giving her an unexpected release as she clenched around him.

Gasping for breath, she laid on top of him. Y/N was very aware of his arm around her as it pulled her close, his hand on her hip, giving it a light squeeze. He leaned into her, his lips pressing a tender kiss to her temple, making her tingle with anticipation of something more - something she shouldn’t think about after their argument.

How can she trust his change of heart has nothing to do with the fact she’s the Sun Summoner? How can she ever trust him at all?

Clearing her throat, she pulled herself off Aleksander. “Put something on, someone might come in”, she told him as she secured her pants back on. She could hardly look at him, afraid he’d weaken her resolve. She couldn’t forgive him so easily, even if her heart ached for him.

“Let me in”, a voice from outside the tent made Y/N look to the entrance with a frown.

She crossed the distance swiftly, her hands ready in case she had to use her sword. She goes to place her hand on the hilt only to find her sword is not on her.

It’s a good thing that’s not her only weapon.

“Hey!” She shouts at the Grisha as they pulled someone away. “Stop!”

“General?!” Mal laughs as he manages to look back at her, fighting against the Grisha.

“Mal?” She chuckles, glad to see he’s still alive. 

“Leave him alone!” She orders, feeling a presence behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it’s Aleksander. Unfortunately for him, she wasn’t in the mood for anymore talking.

“You’re alive?!” Mal goes in for the hug, but his eyes catch a glimpse of Kirigan’s glare and he slowly backs away. “We need to regroup.”

“How many have we lost?” She frowns.

“You’re Grisha now”, Aleksander speaks up. “You don’t have to fight for the humans.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she scoffs at him. How could he even think she’d give up on her people now? 

“That’s not something I’d like. I enjoy my humanity.”

She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and ask her to stay a while longer. Darkling nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire, but she is and he craves the burn.

The Darkling wanted Y/N to be the one addicted to him, in equal measure as he was addicted to her. He wanted to give her a reason to stay with him, if not for love, then for lust. He’d find a way to her heart in the meantime and knowing they’ll have a forever comforts him, but he needed to have her in every other way until then.

He knew he could make her truly happy if she’d let him and he wasn’t about to let her go.

Not without a fight.

Watching her walk away with the soldier, he clicked his tongue. Mal, whoever he is, poses a threat he needs to handle.

Swiftly.

=============================

A/N - I struggled so much writing this chapter, hope you guys like it. I’m probably gonna pass out now, I’m exhausted. xx

Tags: @bruxa0007 @rangotangomango @kaitlyn2907 @thestoryofmylife9 @shelivesindaydreamswme @hxrgreeves @safetyhtom @kaqua @savannah-elliott @all-art-is-quite-useless  @azure23x @girlmadeofavocados @ashdab2611 @acciorudolphx @ladyblablabla @wckedheart @xceafh @sanna2020 @tarkanelima-blog @takethee @mellifluous-cosmos @marvel-ousnesss @tea-effect @starlightofsolaria @p3nny4urth0ught5 @blackbirddaredevil23 @sarcastic-and-cool @slytherinsbiggestproblem @within-thehollowcrown @notthatchhavi @musicconversedance @freakytillthemoon @lgkoval @honeyofthegods @queenmalhinewahine @misselsbells06 @whatthefluffrichard @aami98 @britriestbr @itsfangirlmendes @padme-parker @readingsssssssss @runawayolives @thehighladyofasgard @emlynblack @keithseabrook27 @dailydoseofchoices @deceivedeer @olympiacosplay @pansysgirlfriend @extrakyloren  @daybleedsintonightfa11 @thoughts-and-funnies @weirdowithnobeardo @folkloresworld @remugoodgirl @yagorlemmalyn @gonehopelessgirl @fefethecoffeeaddict @naughtynecromancer @poison-of-the-ivie @strawb3rrydr3ss @supersouthy @theilliterateironman @evyiione @kimoranelson03 @wizardwheezes @woodsabby6 @liajiah @its-carlerrr​ 

PART 14

[dannyphantom-justiceleauge]

As much as I believe Vlad to be an iredeemable asshole in cannon, I like the idea of a begrudging mentor Vlad. Like, say in an alternate universe everything starts of the same but he's not got some evil plan to kill Jack and marry Maddie. He's bitter and resents them for turning him into this abomonation, resents them for being happy when he can't, he tries to stay connected, but he just can't stand being near them and fears their reaction to his ghost side. (1/3)

(2/3) He takes advantage of his new powers, he steals and cheats his way to power, living life lavishly, but it doesn't make him happy, none of it fills the emptiness in his heart. He spends most of his life miserable up until one day he invites the Fenton's on a whim, perhaps in some desperate attempt to find happiness again, where he meets Danny. It goes similarly how it went in the show, Vlad discovers he is a halfa like him, see's how his parents treat him... ~ ~ ~ i think part 3 got eaten, bro, but i'm gonna work with what i got.

Vlad sees this kid who's like him who's parents still talk about killing ghosts and destroying them in front of him. not knowing that they're threatening Vlad. that they're threatening their own son. he see's these so called scientist haven't learned anything about ghosts in the years that they've been estranged and that they've managed to make the same mistake twice.

and he see Danny, a moody teenager, going through the traumatic process of dying and gaining hard to control powers on top of being a highschooler and social pariah. he sees this kid in desperate need of guidance and sees his parents who are neglectful and unaware of a fact he learned within a day of knowing Danny. and he says, "if you can't handle the responsibility of having a kid, he's mine now." yoink

except, obviously, he's really, really bad at it. being a mentor, winning Danny over, being a good person. all of it.

initially he just straight up offers to help Danny learn his powers and that works, Danny agrees, because Vlad isn't trying to kill danny's parents or attacking him, or stalking them, so Danny has no reason not to accept the help. Vlad seems okay for all his rich guy eccentricities.

but then the lessons actually start and danny realizes. oh. this guy has no idea how to teach. and oh this guy has the moral compass of a rotary fan. and Danny initially goes with it. in canon danny's can be swayed by petty stuff and money up to a point. he can let a lot of shit go and is even willing to do some soft crime if he thinks it's for the right reasons. and Vlad might beat him up when trying to teach him to fight, but that's part of training, right? and he might be changing a little under Vlad's influence but danny doesn't see that as a bad thing, until Sam and tucker basically call him out and he accidentally hurts one of them. something that Vlad had told him to do.

so danny bails. basically confronts Vlad and tells him he's a shitty mentor and that he's gonna peace out. suck eggs, fruit loop.

but Vlad had thought things were going well. he's gotten attached. he doesn't want to go back to being alone and he and danny are the only two of their species in the world. so typical villain/stalker stuff happens between them for a bit. Vlad tries to win danny over with money, with manipulation, with blackmail. and Danny isn't having it. (he has blackmail on Vlad too). Vlad is growing increasingly desperate and looks and acts a mess. this is a vulnerable Vlad. we're not getting well kept always cocky and put together except when danny embarrasses him Vlad. we're getting a pathetic man trying to cling to the only human(ish) connection he has and slowly falling further into depression and insanity.

and Danny pities him. because Danny had that human connection too. in the early days before he decided he got to see vlad's dorky and cool side. Vlad was generous with his money. vlad only swears in food. he lights up when he watches a packers game and is a total fanboy.

and Danny kinda gets how he became like this. how his isolation and loneliness and fear drove him further and further down the road of corruptness and evil. Danny learns what he would become without his friends and if anything Vlad is better than that. it's almost similar to how he is with val. he understands where she's coming from and sees that she's a good person even if her actions have taken a turn in the wrong direction. he feels the same about Vlad. he thinks maybe he can convince Vlad to be better.

so redemption arc/reverse mentor relationship because danny is gonna be trying to teach Vlad how to stop being a fruit loop and start making some friends his own age. the comedy potential of that is amazing. i have the mental image of Danny convincing vlad to go on a date with Harriet Chin and coaching him from behind her even though he has next to no dating experience either. pure shenanigans.

i also see there being several back and forth instances of kidnapping. Vlad locks Danny in his house because he doesn't want to be alone (Danny eventually escapes and gets mad. Vlad learns never to do that again). Danny kidnaps Vlad to be a chaperone at a school event, mostly to get Vlad to lie for him. another time Vlad kidnaps danny to go to a rich person party because he said he had a kid in a pathetic attempt to make a friend (moral of the episode is lying to make friends doesn't work) so he just has Danny pose as his son that whole episode and they're trying to get along and seem happy, meanwhile snipping at each other in whispers. they think no one is buying that they're related but ironically them arguing at the end of the night is one convinces the person they're family. "me and my daughter would fight all the time, especially at events she didn't want to come to." probably muddies the moral but that's common enough in dp.

just gradually develops into a weird redeemed uncle/mentor dynamic. Vlad really isn't teaching Danny much. he still occasionally has his moments to shine with explaining new powers and showing danny how to commit tax fraud or lie to the police. but he's mostly just this weird guy who's first friend in twenty years is a teenager.

- Hestia