#he just really likes scottish music

[occudo]

An incomplete list of TMA fics I adore

-beacuse of this ask

(If you liked the fics I previously recommended/made fanart for, I think you'll gonna like these as well, but you know, read the tags, know what you are going into)

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey @cirrus-grey

Time Travel Fix-it! Slow burn! So good! So much sass from future!Jon- I doubt I have to introduce anyone this amazing author, but if you somehow missed them till now, this is your time! I highly recommend all of their other fics as well, for example one of a more recent one, The Stranger I Know Best is also a lovely read.

enthralling by Prim_the_Amazing @primtheamazing

Vampire!Martin!! I have no words of how much I love this concept, this story, everything about this. I think I'm going to repeat myself through this list, but I also recommend everything else they've written!

to fill... my heart with music? by godshaper @godshaper so their Martin and Jon design are different from mine, also they made a way better art for this- but still, I wanted to include this really good fic in this list.

Do It All Anew by inkfingers_mcgee or @crit20art

You know the feeling when you read a book that makes you cry, and after that you recommend it to your friend? Well- there is no reason I mentioned this, I'm just so normal about this fic. Or any other fic from inkfingers_mcgee... like Strange Manner of what I made another fanart way back. Also, check out their art!

Anyway, here is Aamal- she is not going to cause emotional damage.

And they were sidekicks (oh my god, they were sidekicks) by arthureameslove @arthureameslove

A lighthearted series where Jon and Martin are sidekicks of supervillains- it's just a really fun fic, also recommend everyting from this author - I previously draw fanart here for an other fic of theirs Like a Lighthouse, Call Me Home

neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well by saintbleeding @saintbleeding

To quote the aurthour: "Post-divorce Jon and Martin in a wedding-based romcom" It's such a comfort read, also has a Tim/Sasha wedding, and lots of cameos! I realised most of these authors I made fanarts for before- like this one for some kind of miraculous bind, this one is oneshot and a bit more serious in tone.

Give Me the Words by rakel @rakel-on-ao3

"Jon and Martin try to make the most of a bad situation in the Scottish Highlands. The situation is worse than they realised." You know that one post about wanting to write PWP, but it keeps turning into character study? Well, this one comes to my mind each time I see that.

i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy @transgenderboobs

So what would have happened if instead of the cot (tm), Jon offered Martin his own flat to stay? There is no way it's going to change their relationship, right? Such a good read, if you want some fluff, I highly recommend it!

Lucky Stars by magnetarmadda @magnetarmadda

Martin has a lovely family (except his mother) but still, he needs a fake boyfriend, and Jon comes to the rescue. It's one of the first fics I remember reading after I finished the series. It is such a comfort read of mine~

(+enjoy a rare tall Jon from me)

There are so many more fics that also deserve the spotlight, these are just the ones I read multiple times and/or didn't made fanarts for before. If you find something here you like, give them some love! Kudos and comments! They deserve it. (Also, just an extra disclamier some of these are PWP or rated T- just mind the tags)

I tried to link and tag everything, I hope it works.

[charliemwrites]

Woo woo woo snarf

Content: Privacy Invasion, Voyeurism, Possessive Behavior, Non-Con Touching, Dirty Talk

Things have been… wrong around the house. It’s been a slow escalation, a proverbial boiling of the frog. Glasses in the dish washer when you thought you left them in the sink. Blankets you left in a heap neatly folded. Food missing from the fridge and misplaced laundry.

Things you could write off as forgetfulness, as thoughtless habits borne of living alone for so long.

That is… until the t-shirt. It’s very clearly a man’s. Just… a white undershirt. But it’s not your size and smells unfamiliar even after a wash with your own clothes - like cologne or aftershave. Masculine.

Until the boot prints in the snow outside your house, still just visible even after Johnny unknowingly bounds through it.

Your mind scrambles to excuse it.

The t-shirt could be your ex’s. You did just pull out the winter gear; it could be left over from last year, something you didn’t manage to weed out. (Even if it smells nothing like your ex. Smells…. better.)

And you’re not far from some pretty popular hiking trails. Hikers sometimes pass through your yard. (Thought they never come that close to the house…. especially not since you got Johnny)

Johnny’s the only reason you haven’t gone full paranoid. He’s so protective, you can’t imagine anyone getting close to, never mind in, the house without him making a huge, bloody fuss.

Probably just cabin fever, you tell yourself. You need to go out more. Reach out to the friends you don’t see enough.

Johnny seems restless the first time you start dressing for a night out. You soothe him with a big hug.

“I’m just going to see Sarah and Mel. You like them, baby.” His ears perk, head tilting at the familiar names. You smile and press a kiss to the very top of his nose. “Next time I’ll have them come see you.”

When you come home, he’s torn up your favorite “date night” dress. You groan and scold him, but still allow him to plaster himself to your side when you climb into bed.

The next time you go out with them, you see a semi-familiar face in the little low-key bar. Soap. Can’t believe you remember his name months later, but then again he’s difficult to forget. Seared into your mind like a warning and a temptation. End up staring at him a little too hard, shocked to see him in the bar you and your friends have picked.

When he catches you looking, he grins like you’re an old friend, tips his head and his beer with a wink. Your friends notice, encourage you to say hi. But you wave them off, blushing, and they understand your introversion enough not to push.

He still manages to corner you when you go to the restroom. (Alone, for fucks sake. You should know better). All you see is a shadow in the hall, backlit by the bar. When you shift closer to the wall to let them pass, they turn and nearly pin you.

“Fancy seein’ you again,” a deep Scottish brogue rumbles. Too close to your ear; the bar music isn’t nearly loud enough to excuse it. “Out with your sister again?”

It takes you a second to recover, a bit shocked that he really does remember you. And far, far too aware of how close he’s standing, the heat of his body seeping into you.

“A couple friends, actually.”

“Still no boyfriend, eh? That pup o’ yours still a maneater like his owner?”

Your mouth drops open, offended and befuddled in equal measures.

“Wha— well, yes, he is. Not that it’s any of your business.”

He chuckles, eyes twinkling in the shadows. Amused and just a touch condescending. Your face floods with heat as he braces his arm on the wall above your head. He smells good, too good. Familiar?

“Prefer pussy m’self,” he says, “but most animals love me. Bet I could win you both over.”

You make an audible “agh!” noise, embarrassed by the crassness.

“Who says that?!” you protest.

He keeps talking, like you’ve said nothing at all.

“Promise I’d get your kitty purrin’ nice and loud if I pet ‘er,” he says, voice low and rough. “Play with ‘er all sweet like. Might even give ‘er a little kiss…”

The alcohol and having your friends nearby makes you brave.

“Not on your life.”

Again, he chuckles, fingers of his other hand skimming your side.

“Never say never, hen.”

You bite back a telling gasp. God it’s been way too long if you’re getting keyed up by this creep barely touching you.

It’s only because he’s sinfully hot and your pussy is a shallow bitch, you tell yourself.

“My friends are missing me,” you say, trying to extricate yourself.

He hums, steps closer before you can wriggle away, nearly pancaking you to the wall.

“I’m missing you.”

“You don’t know me enough to miss me,” you snort and push against his chest. He’s thick. Firm with conditioned muscle, broader than you realized in the dim - nearly dark - hall by the bathroom. If he didn’t want to move, you couldn’t make him.

But he finally relents, sidling a step back.

“Give me a chance to? Here.”

You don’t know where he gets a pen from, and he moves far too fast for you to stop before he’s tugging your shirt aside. You don’t know where he got a marker from but you feel the rough drag of it across your collarbone, the sting of it in your nose.

“Call me sometime and I’ll make good on my offer.”

He caps the pen, drops a kiss on your cheek like it’s his right, and swagger off - presumably to the restroom.

You scurry back your table, careful to hide whatever he wrote on your skin. It feels like it burns for the rest of the night until you get home.

Johnny greets you at the door with a huge canine smile. Again, focusing on all the spots where soap touched you. Unlike his usual reaction to the scent of unfamiliar men lingering on you, Johnny’s tail wags. You huff.

“Don’t you dare prove him right,” you huff, sidestepping your overgrown teddy bear to go to the bathroom. Your tug your shirt aside and stare at the phone number scrawled across your skin. There’s even a cheeky little heart at the end.

Johnny’s followed you, per usual, and you meet his eyes seriously.

“I know I told you that you’re only allowed to bite my ex….. but I might make an exception for a little nip.”

Johnny tilts his head as you begin stripping down, grumbling under your breath.

“Men like him shouldn’t be allowed to know how attractive they are. It’s fucking criminal.”

You start up the shower, about to step in, only for Johnny to start whining and crying. So loud and raucous that you almost think he’s been injured somehow. But no, he just staring up at you mournfully, ears back and tail down.

“Big baby,” you mock-scold, “what’s the matter, huh? You need me to keep you company while you potty?”

Johnny just keeps whining and crying so you roll your eyes and climb in, ignoring how he goes up in pitch. You scrub at the phone number aggressively, but even then the permanent marker has soaked into your skin and left a stain.

“Mother fucker…” you can barely hear yourself over Johnny. You finish up and whip the curtain open, hands on your hips. It must startle him because he pauses to stare.

“It’s a lot, bud. A lot,” you scold. “Too much, even.”

He subsides with one last grumble and seems to sulk for the rest of the night. Won’t even let himself be bribed with a treat. When you climb into bed with him, he faces away from you (even though he’s still plastered to your side).

“So dramatic,” you sigh affectionately, burying your face in his coat. He smells like pine. “It’s okay, though, big guy. You’re still the only one for me.”

In the morning, you find Soap’s number scrawled on a sticky note. Huh, you must have been a little tipsier than you thought.

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Masterlist

[otto-s-alskling]

TF141 X Hardworker!Reader

"Their Sleepyhead"

You're a hard worker, everyone knows that. God, even Price had to carry you a few times to bring you to bed (and not in *that* way, get your mind out the gutter!) But your insistent attitude of working till you collapse is a trait that the 141 is aware that will never go away, not when they've seen you do it for over three years.

Price

You have your office close to his, connected with an adjoining door which was lucky because you bought your own coffee machine. Majority of the time, you're brewing him a fresh cup of coffee, black with a hint of sugar to cut the full bitterness.

He loves listening to you shuffling and singing next door, sometimes singing back to your songs when duets are playing from your phone but he'd be damn and hide in a hole before he'd let you know that he sings along to you and your velvety voice with his gruff one.

But this also includes him actually hearing you when your head finally thuds down on the desk when you refused to stop working from 5AM till wee hours of the night. He'd peek through the adjoining door first before sighing and picking you up, cradling you close before carrying you out the offices, ignoring looks from the other soldiers still awake late at night. Gaz would immediately walk up to help, opening the doors for Price so he can tuck you into bed, removing your boots before turning off the lamp light. He'd sneak a forehead kiss before closing the door and walking back to the offices, ignoring his racing heartbeat.

Soap

Our Scot is a freaking sweetheart (this is the hill I'll die on.) If he knows Cap isn't in office or in a mission or conference somewhere, you bet your ass he'd delegate himself into keeping company, literally. He'd play on his phone in your office couch, nothing too loud but just enough to be there.

Talks will be nonstop and he'd teach you some Scottish slangs too, much to a certain Skull masked teammate. He'd even teach you traditions and if he had the time and the energy, he'd do your hair into some Scottish Braids. (Look em up, they're GORGEOUS.)

He'd pause from time to time, get a snack or something and he'd come back with something for you too! And if you fell asleep, you bet he'd transfer you over to the couch and find your emergency blanket and tuck you in.

He'd brush your hair out of your face and plant a kiss on your cheek before sitting on the floor next to the couch, just playing on his phone till he fall asleep himself or if he gets hungry and get another snack. He'd wait till you wake up, and not even Ghost can drag him out the room. Someone had to guard the team's Bonnie after all.

Gaz

If you think he wouldn't help out with the paperwork, you'd be fucking wrong. Being the youngest meant you two are the closest, age wise anyways. Would pause halfway on working to show you something in TikTok or play some random playlist on YouTube or Spotify just to break the silence in the room.

He'd being his own snacks, which also includes a big bar of Cadbury. Sometimes Lindt if he got to visit in the nearby city. Work goes faster so he always try to help out on hell week so you wouldn't handle the full brunt of the workload.

If you fall asleep, he'd switch the music to a lullaby or a soft classical music, keeping you asleep as long as he can anyways. Like Soap, he'd transfer you to the couch but he'd push an armchair flush against the couch to block you in from falling like a pseudo bed (or fort or crib. Do people still do this?)

Tucks you in gently and continues his half of the paperwork before joining you on the couch and cuddling you to sleep. He's not one to pass up in getting to sleep in your arms after all.

Ghost

This man trusts with his life. (He'd never say it out loud.) He wasn't really warm with the idea of having a support member in the team, especially one who's specialty ranges from medic to sniper to assistant. Like how is that even possible? So when he realized that you're one of the most hardworking person he'd ever met, respect was earned... And affection.

It was around halfway the second year when he showed his face to you, the heat surge in the office making it annoying to have the mask. He didn't make a fuss so you didn't as well, just working along with him and Price in the Captain's office and hope to survive the heatwave enough. Door was locked so he was confident enough to do it even if Price did raise an eyebrow for a moment before shrugging it off.

By the third year, he already made it a habit to remove his mask once he got you to your room, finally dragging you to bed even before you fall asleep on the desk. You'd grumble and complain but when he glares you down, you relent anyways, not like you can fight him back easily when he's the largest amongst your teammates. So against your unnecessary complaints, he'd spoon you till you fall asleep, much thanks for your exhausted body and mind. Once asleep, he'd sneak a nap for an hour or two himself before letting you be, heading back to his own room, but not after sneaking a kiss to the hair and hand. For him, you're his hardworking lovie, not that he'd let it slip out to everyone else.

[madhattervanessa]

Crave

Summary: Simon returns from deployment- but, there is a catch.

Warnings: sneaky nosy reader, flirting with a strong ?, pda, a little bit of voyeurism but it's all still very PG I feel

Words: 1489

A/N: Y'all already know...

Requests are open as always.

Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

prev. Part - next Part

-

It's been just over 3 months when you hear his familiar footsteps echoing through the apartment complex's hallway.

This time, however, he doesn't seem to be alone.

At least, you had not previously heard a Scottish accent coming out of his mouth. And certainly not at that speed.

"-an' I'm telling you, she fancies me, this is all just a misunderstandin'."

"You repeating tha' don't make it true."

You really shouldn't be standing this close to the door, spying on them. But... Simon isn't the most talkative person in contrast to his very chatty friend. And you're a nosy person.

His friend babbles on about some girl until you hear the keys jingle in the lock of Simon's flat.

"Don't get too comfortable. I'll be just a minute."

You smirk to yourself and listen carefully for Simon's footsteps to move back down the stairway before opening the apartment door.

You sneak out and gently knock at your neighbor's door.

It's torn open almost immediately.

You correct your gaze up a little and meet pale blue eyes.

He's cute. Young, though, for, what you had gleaned from conversations with Simon, they do.

"You're not my neighbor."

He grins and crosses his arms over his chest as he leans against the doorframe.

"Aye. I'm bloody well not, lass."

You hum.

"Feels like I've seen you before, though", he adds.

There's a roguish handsomeness about him, a cockiness- really, a telltale thing you have noticed about the military personnel roaming around town.

"Seems like you haven't left an impression."

He scoffs, obviously amused.

"I usually have some coffee with Simon when he returns from service." You nod towards the kitchen behind him.

"I can see why he would. Come on in, then. I bet the- I bet Simon could use a cup of coffee."

He steps out of your way and closes the door as you beeline to the kitchen.

"Did you guys just get back?"

"Yeah. It's been a long few months."

"I believe that", you murmur and open the cupboard, instinctively picking up your usual mugs.

"What's your name?"

"You can call me Johnny."

You shoot him a look before setting down the cups and starting to pull shots from the espresso machine in the kitchen. When you set down the first cup for Simon, you look up towards him.

"How do you take your coffee, Johnny?"

You're interrupted by the door opening.

Johnny throws a wide grin towards Simon as he enters. His brown eyes briefly flick back and forth between the two of you before he drops two heavy duffel bags on the ground.

He shuts the door with his boot and the heavy footsteps that follow serve as a visceral reminder of the sheer mass of the man.

"Black coffee will do for him", Simon grumbles.

You try not to grin at the glare that settles on Johnny.

"Get out of her face Johnny. Take a shower. Y'smell like shit."

"Aye, L.T.." Johnny briefly turns back towards you and winks. "I'll be right back, lass."

You hum, smiling now, and lower your gaze toward the coffee machine again.

When you glance back up, Simon's eyes are still on you. There's some eye black smeared around his eye sockets. It makes his eyes look bottomless and sharp, his blonde lashes a harsh contrast.

After a moment, he leaves to follow his friend.

Low murmurs sound from the bathroom next to the bedroom, but they are just quiet enough for you to be unable to discern anything.

Eventually, the shower starts up and there's some brief laughter before music starts to play, low and tinny.

The door slams shut and you start steaming some milk.

"Did he bother you?"

You jump and curse under your breath, thankful for the mostly empty pitcher in your hands.

"No. No, he didn't."

Simon is radiating heat from behind you.

"Good."

A single, high note hits your ears before the singing continues, quieter but no less off-key.

"He seems nice, though. Funny. Talented singer."

"He's a bloody idiot."

"Does he get into a lot of trouble?"

"'s exactly why he's here."

The tune in the background changes to Material Girl, as you start to sip on your coffee and step aside for Simon to grab his own.

You stand in comfortable silence for a moment, just looking at each other.

He shakes his head slightly at the first Matieri-a-a-aal echoing from the bathroom.

"Any chance you have space for a roommate?"

You snort and shoot him a conspiratory look.

He smirks before taking a big gulp of coffee.

You keep looking at him, drinking in the details, now that he is back: The eyeblack has smeared down over his cheeks and you can see where it has faded around the corners of his eyes as if he'd been laughing a lot. You set your cup down.

"I don't know, I don't want to get in between some quality time with your friend and you. Should really let you guys settle in."

"Can't settle in, yet."

You perk up a little, immediately alarmed. Simon downs the rest of his coffee before he turns towards you.

"Still missing a warm welcome from my girl."

My girl?, echoes faintly in your head.

Your hesitation seems to amuse him. There it is again, the crinkle around his eyes.

He is careful as he approaches, slowly reaching out.

"C'mon, love. Where's my welcome back kiss?"

You roll your eyes despite laughing, weakly pushing your hands against his chest, not even slightly managing to nudge the big man towering over you away.

"Oh, ew, Si-"

He catches both of your hands in his and intertwines your fingers before leaning his head down. You don't resist and simply tilt your head up towards his.

He's rough with you; his teeth clack against yours and when your lips connect right, he pins you against the counter with his hips.

You moan into his mouth and let go of his hands to instead push them into his hair and let your nails scratch over his head. He is devouring your mouth, his hands wandering until he can hold on to your waist. One of them wanders down to paw at your hip, kneading at the soft flesh there.

He delves his tongue into your mouth and you gasp. You return a nip to his lip before both of your tongues start to tangle.

It's messy and needy. You're melting into his hard grip. As you hesitantly roll your hips towards his, you can feel his cock twitch against your stomach.

He backs off and when you open your eyes, he briefly nudges the tip of your nose with his. You feel girlish joy at the sweet gesture and wet your lips as you lock eyes with him.

"That's one hell of a welcome."

"Missed you."

"Yeah?", you tease, grinning.

He grunts and pulls you into another kiss, muffling your laugh. His hand that had previously held on to your hip wanders down to your ass to squeeze, eliciting another moan from you. You let your own hands cradle his face, feeling his jaw work as you kiss.

"Damn."

You jump and stiffen against Simon in surprise.

"Don't stop on my account", Johnny adds. Simon backs off with a quiet curse and you open your eyes to peek at Johnny, standing in the doorway.

"Bugger off, Johnny", Simon grumbles before pressing another kiss to your cheek.

Your eyes lock with his friend's who is still notably shirtless, hair damp, as he leans against the doorframe.

"I was just comin' back for my coffee, Lt."

There's something underneath the amused glint in his eyes that makes a hot flash run over your spine.

"I'm uh-", you're distracted by Simon dragging his tongue over your neck before he brushes the stubble on his jaw over the skin behind your ear, "I'm going to leave you guys to it."

Simon straightens up and your eyes snap to his.

"Alright, love."

You stagger towards the door, both of the men close behind.

"If you guys need anything, just knock, alright?"

"We'll just be sleeping the flight off, hen", Johnny answers, supported by a gruff sound from Simon that sounds like an agreement.

You nod and lean up to give Simon another innocent peck.

Before you have the chance to think about it, Johnny envelops you in a brief hug. A cloud of cologne envelops you with it and he squeezes you in his arms.

"Don't be a stranger. Come by for pizza sometime, soon, yeah?" Johnny puts you at arm's length before grinning. "I'll tell you a bunch of embarrassing stories about the old boy."

You nod, feeling a bit too hot underneath the intense gaze of the two men at the same time.

"Yeah. Sure. Sounds fun."

The warmth in your cheeks doesn't fade until you are back in the safety of your own bedroom.

[v1x3n]

M E E T A N D G R E E T

141 x reader ⸝⸝ navigation

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : you re-meet your old friend, johnny mctavish, but he changed - a lot - and he had brought a few friends with him, who are all part of a band!

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : fluff mostly - slight suggestive mentions near the end, awkward reader, nothing much!!

a scottish voice shouts above the raging music in the background, a voice you recognized. a voice that belonged to an old friend, Johnny mctavish. but what is strange is that he is with a bunch of other blokes.

a large man, not fat but built, he looms' down on you with an almost menacing stare. the only piece of him you can see is his eyes. The rest was covered by a skull balaclava, leather jacket, a skintight white t-shirt, gray baggy jeans and some spiky boots. his arms were crossed and he stood up like a brick wall, he was tall as well. he was scary if you were honest. you could see a slight black tattoo peaks out under his jacket. skeleton hands printed onto the gloves. you could see a chain leading into his white shirt, from how tight the top was you could clearly see the rounded rectangle metal through them. some type of necklace.

The man next to him was utterly gorgeous, he had large eyelashes and a little bit of stubble, his big brown eyes were luring you in - almost putting you under a spell. eyes trailing down to look at what he was wearing, he gave off more roadman, would stab you for a greggs, which was different from the man you just looked at. He wore black cargos and a gray jacket opened, showing a cropped black tank top underneath. all up his ear was done with silver piercings, he also had his belly button pierced - showing it off with the cropped shirt, a ring hung around his left nostril. a layered barbed wire necklace hung from his neck along with a black belly chain.

Then right in front of you were two guys, Johnny - your old friend and another man who looked much older than the rest, 5 maybe 7 years older than the others. He was smart though, he looked homely, he looked like he could be a settled down dad with a paid off mortgage. His warm smile could cheer up any day, his beard covering most of the bottom of his face, a white shirt covering his chest with the first few buttons undone, a silky black tie hovering on the shirt. He wore black jeans with a black belt. the handsome man had his right eyebrow pierced, other than that you couldn't see any other piercings. he didn't have any necklaces on, but his fingers were loaded with rings upon rings. on his left hand wore a pain silver one on his ring finger followed by a repetitive skull ring on his middle finger. his other hand had a thinner silver ring on his middle finger then a bone ring wrapped around his thumb.

"How are ya, lass?" the man in front of you says, snapping you out your little transe. Your old friend has changed quite a lot. He still had his silly mohawk - but it was currently a little longer, scraggly and it looked like he had been roughed up - and his stupid grin. some type of logo tattooed onto his right arm. you glance up at his face to really admire his details, a strong glare and a grown yet stubbily beard, your eyes trail down to his jaw which his stubble grew over, then down to his outfit. The man in front of you wore a cropped turtleneck tank top - Jesus - patchy cargos with a belt that held the baggy pair up, on the belt was a skull buckle. Unlike the other man who wore a cropped top, you could see Johnny's happy trail leading up to his belly button. your old friend wore some black bracelets around his wrists, johnny was definitely the most jeweled than the rest of them. around his neck was a collar - it wasn't a choker, definitely not, it was a collar. It couldn't help you think what type of kinky shit he was into. He had a septum pierced into his nose, along with a bar leading across his left ear, trailing down with a few other piercings across both ears.

"oh! I'm good! haven't seen you in so long!" you smile and quickly pull him into a hug, getting a whiff of his scent, you linger on his shoulder when he wraps his arms around you. It was kinda awkward with all his friends cucking but you chose to ignore them and focus on johnny. "How are you? you look... very different!" you choke out a laugh. obviously you weren't laughing at the style, just the change of how he used to dress.

"i look good though, divnt i?" he chuckles and a cough booms from behind him, the masked, you would say gentleman but he certainly doesn't look gentle. "hahh- yeah you do! it suits you!" you gleam and pull away from him, glancing at the other boys.

"Shite sorry, this is Simon," he points at the masked man, "kyle," the pretty guy smiles sweetly at you, "and john!" The father-like man tilts his head and grins. Johnny introduces you to the gang and they all say hi. Some voices are gruffier than the rest. "What are you here for!" you try to quietly shout over the music that slowly gets louder.

this stupid bar was a regular one you visited, you'd usually come here for the bands and occasionally the men. "We performed here earlier" the man, John said with a strong smile plastered on his face. "holy fuck! youre in a band, jj?!" you exclaim and grab onto johnny's hand.

"ye, me and these ballsacks made one together, want an autograph then, lass?" he mocks.

you laugh at him and look around at the other three brutes there, "ye four chat, i'll grab some beers" johnny says before waddling off. you gulp, looking up at the men and awkwardly smile, "sooo..." you mumble quietly.

"How do you know Johnny, sweetheart?" blushing slightly as the man, John, speaks to you. "oh! We were close friends like all our lives, went to primary and high school together" you sweetly smile as another of the men speaks, Kyle, his voice like honey whilst he looks down at you. his big brown eyes taking you all in, "how'd you two meet back then? he tricked you into bein' his mate like?" Kyle jokes.

you laugh quietly, "hah- no, uhm we were in class when we were six or seven maybe? and he sat next t' me, he gotten glue all over the table and all over himself - on the first day - so the teacher told me i had t' clean him up," you fumble with your hands, looking between simon and the rest whilst telling your story, "so i was angry at him because i couldn't play outside that day cause i had t' help him clean up. and he has been annoying me since" you let out a light laugh. you could say you two stuck together.

kyle and john chuckle whether simons eyes dont give off a tell for what emotion

"you his girlfriend, then?"

"what?" choking on air for a few seconds at the accusation. you couldn't deny that maybe you had a small thing for him in highschool but that was just confusing friendship with romance, so if you really think about it - no you didn't. "God, no! He's just a friend!" laughing slightly. the group hummed, it sounded like satisfaction.

"So no boyfriend?" Kyle confirms.

"Like at all?" an eyebrow raises, you look toward simon, who hasn't spoken yet, then towards kyle and john once more with your head slightly tilted. "erm, no, there's no boyfriend" the three of them nod.

A long awkward silence fills the bar, the only sound being the blasting music and people drunk in the background. god this was awkward, but soon johnny came back. four pints and your favorite drink. your smile coated with sugar as johnny gives you your drink, "thanks jj"

"No bother, Bonnie," he passes the other drinks out. you five quickly go find a small booth in the back to talk in, "so what were yous talkin boot?"

"jus slagging you off, Johnny" Kyle pipes up which makes you snicker and Johnny rolls his eyes. "right." he scoffs.

"I was telling them how we uhm met!" you smile and take a sip of your drink. Johnny does the make and hums, "the glue story?" a nod that signals a yes, "still not forgave you f' that, mind." you give him a jokenly glare, "it was years ago!" Johnny gasps, Kyle laughs whilst Simon's eyes flirt between the two of you. your eyes wander over to simon who has his mask ruffled up over his nose so he can drink his pint.

the masked man had a bit of stubble around his face, his lips were pinkish and god you were almost hypnotized, you couldn't see that much but it looked like a lot. he took small sips from his glass and you gaze up at his eyes which were intently looking st you, listening to each and every word you said. you gulp and quickly look away to see john, johnny and kyle talking about something. you could probably piece it all together but you were too panicked that simon had caught you staring. fuck, you didnt mean too stare for that long but you honestly hadnt expected him too look like that.

"oh, i forgot t' ask like what do yous all do in the band?" you look at them all.

"I'm the bassist and backing vocals!" Johnny peeps up, smiling widely. "drums." John hums, looking at you and taking a gulp of his pint. "guitar." Simon says, his voice gruffier - it sounded like exactly how he looked, strange. "I'm the vocalist and rhythm guitarist." Kyle smiles and winks at you.

"cool!" you smile, a finger circling your glass whilst you look between them all, "anythin i would've heard?"

"mayperhaps" Kyle grins, "here" he grumbles and pulls out his phone, showing you his band on spotify. you gasp, "oh my god! no way! My friends have talked about your band!"

the four men look at eachother, "really?" Johnny speaks. you nod as a reply, "i never really listened t' it tho.." muttering under your breath.

"Shame, you should. not t' brag but we are very good" johnny smirks, he looks you up and down, “so what you been up t’? Anythin’ fun?” you think for a second, what have you been up to? You had a few boyfriends, not anything that serious though, you uhhmm… What have you done? You sit there with your thoughts as a few of the guys look at you, they sip onto their beers as they patiently wait for a reply to Johnny's question. “Oh uhm i dunno” you hesitantly let out a slight laugh, “i moved around here and ermm… had a few jobs around the place. Right now I am working at some cafe a few blocks away” looking down at your lap, you were almost embarrassed that you were telling your old best friend, who's successful right now, that you were just working at a small cafe. It was not paid that much but you needed the job - you obviously weren't going to tell him, or any of them, that you were just getting by though.

“Oh you live round here?” John peeps up, keeping his eyes on you whilst he finishes off his pint. your eyes follow his hands as he slams his glass down. “Yeah, do yous?” Simon looks off to the side of the table, out to all the people in the bar. “No we are on a little tour right now, just around the uk” Kyle answers after gulping a large sip from his beer. “Oh! Okay!” you smile at them, “where have you been so far?” 

“Few places in London and well here, still going round though” you nod at Johnny's words. Lucky that you ran into them though, you had missed johnny and well his friends definitely weren't hard to look at. Wait wait wait, you couldnt think that, you barely knew them. They were a bunch of emos who have a band together, you only knew Johnny - and that was years ago. 

You and Johnny had stopped talking in college. Maybe you had grown apart, or something happened, perhaps it was something you had said? But long story short you and him stopped speaking, full stop. At the time you were heavily distracted by other things though so it hadnt hit you that hard, sometimes you would sit in your bed, going through old photos of you and him together. Then it would hit you hard, at that time you thought to yourself ‘yeah, i miss him’ but then you would distract yourself from that feeling. Another thing that would distract you was your boyfriend, you two had been together for quite a while actually. Johnny actually introduced you two together at the start of college, his name was Danny, but then you and Johnny stopped talking after hitting it off with danny. You would wonder if that was the reason you stopped talking, Danny, but that simply couldn't be it because he and Danny were friends, and why would jj stop talking to you just because you were dating someone? 

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts, “we should get going” a rough, gruff voice, one you only had heard once. Simon. You look up at him then your eyes trail around the table. All the drinks drank and everyone looked incredibly tired, “ah shite yeah, need t’ practise in the morning so got an early night” Kyle follows up. You nod at him, understandingly. 

“Oh okay” a disappointed hum comes from you, “bye then” you smile as the rest stand up. You stand up along with them and look at Johnny whilst he walks over to you, wrapping you into a tight hug. You could smell his cologne once more but this time he smelt more like alcohol than before. You bury your  head into the corner of his neck as his arms squeeze around you, his hands trailing down to your waist, Johnny pulls back and winks. “I'll hopefully see you again?” 

“Yeah..” you murmur, “here uhm i'll give you my number f’ if you're in town again?” you suggest, pulling out your phone and passing johnny it. Johnny quickly puts your number into his phone, he smiles.

They all say goodbye, Johnny pulls you into another long, tight hug and lets you go almost winded. Kyle puts a hand on your arm and lets it trail down your soft skin, telling you he hopes to see you later. John bends down to kiss your cheek whilst he chuckles lightly, saying it was nice to meet you before his eyes wander around your person - muttering that you should come to one of their concerts some time. But Simon only pulls his mask back over his face, back to the original position it was in. Simon's eyes look you up and down as he grumbles a small bye.

And with that you're left outside of the bar, watching them all walk off, yet something catches you off guard, Simon looks back and sees you staring once more. Embarrassing. His eyes almost glimmer, but then he looks forward once more. Scoffing as a bright blush covers your cheeks, fuck, you needed to get fucked cause you were stood looking at 3 strange men and your old bestfriend, blushing because you thought they were fit.

But luckily you would and could never act on your horny thoughts that spew in your mind because you would never see any of them again. Right? Riiight.

[barefoothighlander]

I looove all the works you've been giving us, sincelery thank you for keeping us fed. So I had this idea lingering in my mind and basically : it's ghost with a reader that's only nice to him. Like they're not the most cheerful person but they're always giving him little snacks or giving him compliments and all that. So ghost think they're kind and like that all the time with everyone, but after one (or many) convos with 141 he realizes that no, they aren't very nice with people and it's just him.......... Anyway I hope this isn't too much, I wish you a good day/night!!!

epiphany

love this, thank you!!! Ghost needs a cute lil significant other that only likes him. Hope this little one-shot fits what you were thinking of.

warnings: mentions of violence, fluff, gn pronouns, reader has codename 'phantom', insinuation of smut?

"LT, please control them," Soap says pointing toward you, you raise your hands in defence

"I didn't do anything"

"You're joking, you almost shot my head off"

"You were in the way"

"Oh really" Soap crosses towards you and Ghost steps between, arm extended in front of you keeping you from clawing at Soap, giving him a glare. Soap huffs a breath and walks away shaking his head, Ghost turns to you, head tilted in question and you smile back at him.

"How was your day?" You ask

"Did you try to kill him"

"If I was trying to he'd be dead"

He quirks his head, "That's true"

"Oh here," You say reaching into your pocket, pulling out a small pack of biscuits. "Found these earlier, remembered you loved them so"

He grabs the package from your hands eyeing them over before the two of you walk off.

A few hours later Ghost hears yelling from the mess, poking his head around the door to see you almost face to face with Soap, finger pointed at his chest, your focus shifting when you see him, anger suddenly dissipating.

"What the fuck's going on"

"Your little pet is saying the mission failure is my fault"

"Yeah, and it fucking is Johnny, you're in charge of demolitions, who else do I blame when the door doesn't blow open"

"Alright both of you stop," Ghost says, "Johnny go cool off"

"Me? They're the one that's always walking around with a sour face"

You huff at him.

"Johnny, go"

You smirk as he walks away, face dropping as Ghost grabs your arm dragging you into the hallway.

"Why is he so mad at you?"

"I don't know, Scottish temper" You smirk

He stares at you trying to read your face, he'd never seen this side of you, truth be told he kinda loved it, but usually you were skipping around your shared flat, dancing to music or nuzzling into him as you cuddled. You were always so kind and soft towards him, making sure he ate when he was home, gently cleaning his cuts, dropping him off books you thought he'd like.

The two of you go your own way after your outburst and Ghost decided to investigate. Knocking on Price's door,

"Oi Captain"

"Whaddu need son"

"Just a question, Phantom, are they ever, I dunno, mean to you?"

"Are you joking, why do you think that's their codename, they scare the shit out of everyone"

"You're joking"

"I wish, I steer clear of them when I can, almost got my head chewed off when I took them off a mission"

"Huh, thanks sir," Simon says as he leaves the room, rubbing the back of his neck before his eyes land on Gaz,

"Hey mate"

"Lieutenant"

"Phantom, thoughts?"

Gaz looks around the halls like you'd be waiting around the corner to strangle him, "Great fighter"

"I mean their personality"

Gaz is hesitant, scared you'd somehow hear him talking about you, "Saw them almost break a rookie's shoulder for talking back, never bugged them after that"

"So you're scared of them too"

Gaz simply nods.

Ghost continues asking people around the base about you, most of them simply tried to stay out of your way others had horror stories and the rest just believed that you hated them. When he left base to go home he was utterly confused, your opposing actions a mystery to him, his confusion increasing when he walked in and saw you moving around the flat half-naked, hips swaying to some old song.

A large smile plastered on your face when you saw him, practically leaping into his arms to welcome him home, planting soft kisses over his face once he removed his mask.

"Did you want a tea?"

He shakes his head and you move from him, continuing whatever task you were up to, he scans the flat, brightly coloured decor on the shelves, blankets all over the place, you had made it so cozy.

"People on base are terrified of you"

His statement makes you stop in your tracks, "What are you talking about"

"Well apparently you've threatened quite a few people"

"Huh" You simply shrug your shoulders and Ghost smiles

"Why are you so nice to me and so mean to them"

"I'm mean?"

"They certainly think so"

You move towards him wrapping your arms around his neck, standing on your toes to kiss him, "Maybe I only like you"

"Mm I like the sound of that," He says kissing you back, "But you can't yell at rookies, that's my job"

"Fine, you can be the scary one"

"Very generous of you"

"I can be generous"

"How generous" His eyebrow quirks as he lifts your legs to wrap around him,

"Very"

He carries you, leading you to the bedroom and shutting the door with his leg as a fit of giggles overtake you.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Icy cool kittens

How the frostheim boys would be like as cats

Wc: 720

Jin

The fluffiest white Persian cat, he even came with his pedigree papers detailing his bloodline.

And as if he knew the fact he acts pompously too, specific about his wet food and how much you can touch him before he snaps and scratches you.

Fucker sleeps every hour of the day at the top of the cat tower, it's so hard to find him awake other than when he meows loudly at you to brush his hair

He will only meow when asking ordering something, be it the food you are eating, a door he wants open or for you to get Thoma off of his ‘throne’

If you want to cut his claws or do anything he would normally refuse to, for some reason classical music mellows him quite a bit.

Even if doesn't do it often when he screams at the kittens Luca and Kaito they stop everything immediately and keep quiet for about 10 whole minutes before causing a ruckus.

Thoma

He was the meanest but prettiest street cat you had ever seen on the streets, a beautiful coat even if it was matted and dirty with dust and cut in some places with scars from previous fights. Luckily he allows you to pick him up and after a shower and brushing he looks perfectly dashing like a show cat like Jin

For some reason he bonds with him really fast!! Seeing how Jin refuses to put in the effort to groom himself, unless it's to bring you the brush so you groom him, Thoma quickly steps up to lick him every morning like a mommy cat would with her kitty.

He doesn't like touch beyond minimum care but catnip tea gets him so high off of his mind he allows himself to sprawl on your tummy and make biscuits on it.

He is much more involved in whipping the kitties in line, quite to swipe a paw at them if they stand on the counters or claw at the furniture. He might even grab them from the scruff and hiss at them.

Kaito

A small cream Scottish fold with big eyes that don't have one single thought behind them.

He is the smallest of his bunch, when you rescued him from the alleyway his ribs were showing and his fur really matted and stiff. Luckily soon after you got him his appetite picked up and his weight became normal.

The cuddliest baby ever, whenever you sit down or lay down for any reason he is the quickest to rush to your lap or chest and starts purring up a storm. When you go to sleep please be careful to not kick him because he will be right next to your feet.

Every hour is zoomie hour dashing around the house, be it to burn energy or to run away from Luca who was attempting to play fight with him.

Luca

Another pedigree kitty, a beautiful British shorthair.

The man who gave him to you told him he has a habit of escaping to seek his littermate he was separated from too soon so be careful with your doors and windows.

Luckily enough his attempted escaping acts stops a few days after coming home and meeting Kaito he seems to have taken him as his missing brother and is stuck to him most of the day.

He seems to recognize his name and will go to you if you call him, but looks so sad if you call him ‘lucas’ rather than ‘luca’ for some reason, almost as if he was about to get scolded like a child. But at the end he is your child so it kind of fits.

When you open your eyes in the middle of the night he will be around your bed or door guarding you, fearful that you might get attacked at night and not be able to defend yourself, and sleep while you go to work/school and the others are wandering around.

He picks so many play fights with Kaito it isn't even funny, at first you even though he might be a bully! But, given how Thoma doesn't step up to break them up and how after getting hissed he relents, you think he might just have a whole lot of energy and decided to make that Kaito's problem.

[writingoddess1125]

Nerdy S/O 🎮 📖 🧛

The guys and their uniquely nerdy S/Os who they love!

Soap 🧼, Ghost 👻 , König 👑 x GNREADER

Soap + Cosplayer 🧛

• Johnny had met you when you were both at a bar, You typically werent too into the bar scene but it had lead you to meet the man of your dreams.

• Afterall who could resist that Scottish Charm?

• It had been 3 years of bliss shared between the two of you-

• Johnny knew from the beginning you were- quite the Nerd. He found it cute however! Even if he didn't understand it fully-

• Often getting back from deployment in the nice flat the two of you shared to see you dancing around listening to music while stitching some sort of fabric together.

• Johnny spent hours with you, Enjoying the craft of building your costumes and often wanting to join in the fun. Even if he knew nothing of the media this was involved in.

• "What is this costume for again?" He asked setting down the freshly cut foam to the side while you glued your peices down on some fabric-

• "This my Darling is a costume from the 1999 Mummy with Brendan Fraser" You say cheerfully as you stitch the costume.

• "Movie?-" He questions and you comfirm "Movie-"

• Will eventually start watching the Movies and TV shows with you. And gets really really into them as well- Turns into a big fantasy guy

• "Love- I want to cosplay with you at the next convention.. I wanna be a elf" He said shyly

• You damn near cry at this and hug him "Oh Honey I've waited to hear those words!"

• "I need to do the inseam-" You mumbled as you measured inbetween the man's leg to get the measurment.

• Will definitely want to roleplay in the bedroom. Feels like it has opened a new door for him and is more then excited-

• Comes in dressed like Han Solo with a wide grin- Fake gun and all on his hip as you laid on the bed in your own costume. "I do believe that you ruined my last smuggling trip- Sorry darling but you'll be paying for that another way"

• Will show you and his costumes off when he visits friends on base. Showing the last convention the two of you went to together- if anyone gives him shit he has no issue punching them.

Simon + Book Nerd 📖

• You and Simon had been married for years, the famed Lieutenant knowing from when he first met you that you were a book fiend

• It was a major part of you- And one he adored

• Simon was quite the reader himself but truthfully not as deep as you. Havibg seen you so engrossed in stories before that you forgot to eat.

• But books were also how you showed love.

• "Love, I know this is a long deployment for you.. so I want to send these with you so you don't get bored" You say softly, holding up a 3 book series to your husband as he prepared for his job.

• Of course he accepted and read them while on his missions.

• Enjoys whatever you give him, be it fantasy, sci-fi, historical fiction or what have you. He will always read them through and even take a note so he can talk to you about them later.

• Will also love when you read outloud to him

• "Honey I just got this series I want you to check out" You called out excitedly as you rush to your husband who is watching his Football (Soccar) game and sees you holding the collectors box. Calmly mutes the TV and gestures for you to sit and read out loud to him the new book.

• He had built you a library and Many shelves to store your hoard of books and got you a special couch to sit in and read.

• Does have a deep appreciation for Spicy Books and will happily warm up to prepare for your want to experiment.

• He had gotten you the book 'Den of Vipers' and had heard from the book store owner it was a spicy one- so he waited.. It took a few hours but you came into the bedroom flushed face. Simon having already stretched and was ready-

• He also knew about your fanfiction even if you were embarrassed and secretive about it. Occasionally you'd let him read over your work, which he would appreciate and genuinely enjoy the stories.

• Also will grab books while he is on his deployments or secretly read your fics on his phone.

• Buring a Mission he is stuck in a book store, as he is ready for the attack he spots one of the fantasy books you had wanted that had sold put before you got your little hands on it... so he slips it into the vest of his armor and goes on with his mission.

• Saved him 50£ anyway-

König + Gamer 🎮

• When you and König start dating he is a bit surprised by you playing video games.

• He was taught it was something children do- so to see his Partner playing is a big surprise for him.

• However you help him open his eyes to the media and introduce him to the fun interactive stories and escapism that video games help you with.

• This peaks his interest and ask to join your gaming adventure.

• "Schatz are you sure about this?" He ask softly as you get him to play some Mario Kart 8. He's nervous at first but after a round his competitive spirit comes out and gets very good quickly- Cheering loudly as he wins and gets first place.

• After this a massive gaming room is built in his home for the two of you to share. König now understanding why you love games so much and supports you hobby fully.

• Even if it's a very expensive one.

• The two of you having funny cute arguments over the games subtitles or language.

• "I want it in German with English subtitles so I can practice" You wine as König shakes his head- "Liebling I want English with German subtitles"

• This often ending with the two of you giggling together over it and a passionate session between the two of you.

• Will support you wanting to decorate the home with some gamer merchandise and even gets his own to throw in there.

• Will eventually start playing some other games without you. Something to help him relax and take his mind off things-

• Mainly Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing are his favorite at the moment. It helps him unwind after his deployments

• After the hardest of deployments will just want to relax with you and watch you.

• Will love to just have the two of you cuddle in a warm bed and watch game play videos if you guys aren't up to playing a certain game. YouTube being a wonderful addition

• Will download some games on a burner smartphone he keeps and play it in his bunks. If it's multi-player will invite you to join him so the two of you can spend this time together even at a far distance.

[boozenboze]

Can I ask for a really stoic reader (rbf, looks like he's glaring all the time when in reality he thinks about dinner)that smiles for the first time with 141 boys and Alejandro if that's okay?

Why so Serious?

Summary:M/n was never seen with a happy expression.He always looked dull and it looked like he was on the verge of killing someone.That was until one of the new recruits made him smile.

Females She/Her and She/They DNI

Who seemed the most serious out of 141.If you said Ghost you aren’t completely wrong but at least the man attempts to make jokes.Unlike a certain h/c haired males who seemed to have only one expression.Out of all the time 141 has known him he has never smiled.Soap always says something that is downright hilarious and yet the male never cracked.This disheartens the scot but he never gives up.

“Hey M/n!”Soap said while approaching the male who was currently cooking.

“What McTavish?”M/n responded in annoyance,wincing when he felt the onions fumes go in his eyes.

“Why dont the dinosaurs talk?”The scottish man asked as M/n hummed in response,telling him to continue.

“They can’t because their dead.”Soap laughed out while slapping his knee.The man who was in hysterics stopped laughing when he saw the h/c haired male just staring at him as if he was stupid.

“I don’t find you funny.”M/n said with a deadpanned expression.The scot looked genuinely hurt by the males comment and walked away without saying a word.The h/c haired male plated his meal before exiting the kitchen.

A few days passed after that incident, Gaz and Soap had been trying to make the stone faced male crack a smile.The two went as far as to making themselves trip and fall.EVERYBODY LAUGHS WHEN SOMEBODY FALLS OVER THE AIR SO WHY HAVEN’T YOU LAUGHED?!

Ghost found the situation amusing.Sure he could joke around here snd there but you were a completely different story.You always looked like you were ready to off someone and he actually developed a small fear of you.Price made a lot of dad jokes so as you can probably guess you never laughed at his jokes.

When Alejandro would come and visit he would always tease the male in spanish.He would also poke at the males cheek in attempts to make him crack a smile.It doesn’t work,snd M/n’s glare didn’t help.The h/c haired male had always been quite blunt but he never meant to come across that way.He’s always been like that and he has laughed at the jokes Soap made,but it’s always been in his head.

One of those days M/n had been wondering what he should eat for lunch.His face was so serious that other’s thought that he was upset when he was just deep in tought.Gaz was the one guy he had to explain it to.

A few weeks later a few new recruits had came to the base.One of them thst went by the name Andre,was put under M/n’s care.They talked very often and had really funny conversations that made M/n laugh.Thats how we get to the current situation.

Soap was once again trying his best to make M/n laugh.He noticed the male let out small chuckles st his words which let him know what he was doing was working.Soap had ran up the Gaz happily informing him of his accomplishment of making the Brit laugh.Ghost hummed in amusement and Alejandro let out a deep chuckle as well as Price.

Soap had turned around and saw Andre approaching.The male was talking to M/n and even pat his shoulder.Price tilted his head when the male began doing weird hand movements.Their eyes widened as they saw M/n’s cheeks rise with a smile adorning his features.The h/c haired male began laughing hysterically and the groups eyes softened.His laugh was so angelic,it was like music to their ears.When the male finally calmed down Andre walked passed him and bid his goodbyes before going to his room.Alejandro was about to speak but was cut of by Soaps yelling.

“Were you just laughing?!”Soap yelled out as he ran towards the h/c haired man who looked startled.

“Uh yeah I did,it’s not like im incapable of laughing mate.”M/n said chuckling as Soap looked amazed.

“What does he do to make you laugh.”Gaz asked curiously and M/n responded shortly.

“He’s just funny.”

“WHATS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN”

[fallenangelkitten]

All for You

Synopsis: Henry is always paying attention. How far will he go to make you happy?

Warnings: lots of fluff, some ogling

Note: I love this one, it’s so so cute 🥺

Henry had been in the shower for a while now; it took some time getting all the Geralt makeup off of his body. You were sitting up in bed, getting distracted from the book you were reading. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy the book, your mind was just drifting. You were scrolling on TikTok, laughing and awwing at the occasional animal video.

You could hear Henry’s honeyed hums echoing from the bathroom. Steam seeped into the bedroom through the small crack in the door- he was notorious for not shutting that damn door. A sigh of bliss left your lips, unsure of what you did to deserve him or this life.

After a few moments of not hearing the water running, he stepped out with a towel around his waist. Water still dripped down his oh so toned body. You took a moment to let your eyes drink in the sight, your tongue skimming your bottom lip. You could ever get used to this.

“See something you like, love?” He teased, his infamous smirk plastered across his face. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. But I knew he was… beautiful. Usually that’s not a word used to describe a male, but no other word would come to your mind. He was simply beautiful.

“Come get into bed, I’ve missed you,” you begged, pulling back the covers and patting his spot. He hung the towel on the back of the door and walked over to you. He almost always slept naked and tonight was no exception.

“What have you been up to, pet?” He asked, stoking the side of your face, bringing you in for a soft kiss. You leaned into his hand, enjoying the warmth it gave on your skin.

“Well, Kal and I played in the gardens for a while. But for most of the day I’ve just been attempting to read,” you explained. He clung to your every word, eyes shifting back and forth between your own and those lips he adored.

“Attempting?” He chucked, brow arched.

“Ugh, you know me! I get distracted. Like, look at this,” you brought out your phone and pulled up tiktok. “I’m just scrolling and I get hit with videos like this all day!” It was a beautiful view of the foggy Scottish countryside. You sighed dramatically, flinging yourself into his arms. “Oh what a beautiful site to see!”

He laughed, and it was music to your ears. “(Y/N), you are the most dramatic piece of work. But I wouldn’t have you any other way.” He pulled you in for another kiss.

———

You woke up to an empty, cold bed. The light shown through the curtains, causing you to squint. You groaned, wanting nothing more than to roll back over and shield your eyes. You heard footsteps approach you, and a warm kiss against your forehead. “Kitten,” he cooed, continuing his kisses against your cheek and across your jaw.

You whimpered, reaching up to grab him and attempt to drag him down to the bed with you. But of course he didn’t even budge, though he complied. Lifting the covers, he scooched in next to you, wrapping you in his arms. He rubbed circles into your arms.

You sighed. “What time is it?”

“Seven forty.”

He knew you weren’t a morning person, but with Henry loving on you, even you couldn’t help but give in. “Why so early?”

“Well, our flight leaves in an hour, so really I was pushing it.” He teased.

You shot out of bed, hair sticking up in all different directions. “Flight?!”

“You wanted to see Scotland, right?”

[captain-mj]

This is an ask to remind you to write the ghost poured alcohol and spit into soaps mouth at a concert fic. Pretty please... do write it uwu

Thank you thank you thank you i really wanted an excuse to write this other than me being self indulgent

Simon forgot what exactly Tommy had called the pills he had taken. He just knew he felt great.

From an outsiders point of view, he looked good too. Simon knew that. Jason had helped him with his makeup so he had a large painted black Glasgow smile and blacked out eyes that streaked down. At some point, he had lost his shirt. His jacket didn’t really keep the cold out but in his opinion, it made him look better.

Simon downed more alcohol, his head swimming. The world was fading in and out with the bump of the music. It was so much better than being sober.

There was some… guy. Staring at him. He had dark hair and he was dressed kinda strange. Long sleeved blue shirt and jeans rather than scene gear. It made him stand out almost as much as those pretty blue eyes.

Simon licked his lips. “Hey buddy. Need something or are you just staring?”

The man spoke in gibberish in a thick Scottish accent. Simon wondered if he was higher than he thought or if the guy simply spoke another language.

“You speak English?” He slurred out, staggering closer to him.

That upset him. Quite a bit. He spoke more of his gibberish at him. He looked a bit younger. Simon wondered vaguely if he was old enough to be there, but Simon wasn’t exactly old enough either so…

“Want a drink?”

He paused His angry rambling to look at Simon closely before nodding and reaching for it.

Simon held it above his head, using his height to make sure he’d have to jump for it. “Nah. Tilt your head back.”

Mystery guy paused and clearly hesitated before doing as told. He let Simon grip his jaw gently and opened his mouth obediently. When in Rome. Or when you’re in Manchester you let a high, hot guy pour alcohol into your mouth.

Simon was careful not to drown him. He had done this before. It was cheap liquor, no doubt burned on the way down but he took it like a champ. Their eyes met and the burn in Simon’s chest was definitely not cause of the alcohol. This dude was fucking hot.

When the Scot tilted his head to try to get him to stop, Simon spit into his mouth and let go of him. The Scot quickly closed it so the alcohol wouldn’t get on his shirt. He looked flustered as he swallowed and Simon could see how his pupils dilated.

Simon grinned and put his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t understand a word you’re saying, love. But if you wanna go i co-“

Tommy jumped on Simon’s back, laughing. “Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, where were you?”

In the brief moment he stumbled, the Scot fled, leaving Simon with a case of blue balls and very pissed off. “You’re the fucking worst.”

~~~

“There’s no fucking way that was you.” Ghost argued. “We’re four years apart! It doesn’t even make sense.”

Soap crossed his arms. “You made me realize i was fucking gay and into taller men and you refuse to believe me.”

Ghost shook his head. “No way. You’re delusional.”

Soap gaped at him. “The guy who jumped on you called you Si! He had skull makeup on!”

“Fuck off, Johnny.”

“Oh come on, Lt. you wanna recreate it?”

[live-love-be-unique]

Weekend Away

Summary: A weekend away camping with your friend Soap leads to the start of a new relationship.

My submission for @glitterypirateduck #CoDVacationMode challenge. The prompts I used were:

12. Camping

32. Friends to lovers

34. First time seeing each other naked

Parings: Soap x f reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut

It had been a rare weekend of downtime after you had finished the last mission and after an offhand comment that you were going to do absolutely nothing except crash into your bed and move only just enough so that people didn’t mistake you for being dead, Soap had declared you to be his camping partner. When you agreed to join Soap on a camping trip you didn’t realize how thorough his preparation was. It started with his sending you a joint Spotify playlist “we’ll be needing good road trip music bonnie” along with a detailed list of your favorite road trip and camping snacks as well as a list of “things you need to pack to survive”.

The day the two of you set off, Gaz left you with some of his words of wisdom: “If you hear banjos, clench your buttcheeks!”

“Really Gaz? You’re referencing Deliverance now? If I get killed in some back woods somewhere I hope you fall out of another helicopter” You snap as Gaz smirks. That little shit.

You jumped as a deep Scottish accent sounded from behind you “Relax bonnie, if I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t tell anyone where we were going” Soap smirked as you got into his jeep.

“Not comforting MacTavish!” He laughed and pulled out of the parking spot “you haven’t told me where you’re dragging me yet”

“Relax, would you! You’re going to love it”

For the next three hours of driving you had been treated to Soap belting out his favorite songs, which mostly seemed like The Proclaimers on repeat and drumming on the steering wheel, both he and the radio at full volume.

“…When I wake up, well, I know I’m gonna be

I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you…”

You were almost ready to kick him out of the moving vehicle and head back to base when Soap pulled onto a dirt track. He stopped the car near the small forest and jumped out.

“We made it? Finally!”

“Not quite lass”

“What do you mean ‘not quite’? We’ve been driving for hours”

“Little bit of a hike to get there but I promise it’s worth it”

He’d of course been lying when he called it a ‘little bit of a hike’. You’d been walking for ages, enjoying the scenery of the area, you did have to admit it was a beautiful spot. You watched a flock of birds fly over the lake, not watching where you were walking and crashed straight into Soap’s back.

“Careful there bonnie” he chuckled as his arms braced you from falling flat on your face.

“Thanks” you muttered. Blushing, you extracted yourself from Soap’s arms and brushed yourself off.

“We’re here!” He announced with a flourish, throwing his arms out with a giant grin on his face. You look around and see what Soap is gesturing towards. You look in awe at the ruins of a castle, the crumbling stone walls overgrown with vines as nature slowly took over throughout the years “I found it when I was out here last and you were the first person I knew who I had to show this too”

“Me?” You ask, tearing your eyes away from the ruins.

“You love all those stories set in castles with ladies and knights and stuff so I just thought you might want to explore it and…” Soap rambled, suddenly nervous.

“I love it!..Wait, we’re camping here?!” You interrupted him, almost squealing with excitement.

“That was the plan, I thought we could set up the tent over by that wall there” he spotted you taking your camera out of your bag “I can set up the tent if you want to take a look around” he chuckled as you started admiring the sights through the lense of your camera.

You’d been exploring and photographing everything you could set your eyes on when you turned back to thank Soap for bringing you here but the words died in your mouth when you spotted Soap setting up the tent you’d be sleeping in tonight.

Dressed in a t-shirt and cargos, you watched as his arms flexed and moved as he pulled a support rope taut. You knew he was attractive, and might have been sporting a little bit of a crush, but as he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe sweat off his face you’re pretty sure he could ask you to run away with him and you’d happily go.

“Why don’t you take a picture” he smirked childishly “it’ll last longer”

“Maybe I can take a picture of you like one of my French girls” you laugh back.

“Come on you numpty, we need firewood” he bumped your shoulder with his as he passed by.

The two of you worked quietly setting up the remainder of your little camping spot, the setting sun casting shadows through the stone window frame that would have once held a beautiful stained glass.

Soap lit the campfire while you started preparing your food, pleasantly surprised Soap had packed everything to make hamburgers, he laughed at your little happy smile “couldn’t drag you somewhere and not pack your favorite food”

You leaned back against your rucksack, relaxing into the quiet night air, you could get used to this you realize, beautiful scenery, no technology, sharing burgers and beers with Soap as you told each other funny stories about your friends and family and the rest of your team.

Soap stopped his current story and glanced up at the sky “come here” he gestured for you to sit next to him. You made your way over to his side as he dragged you down to lay next to him, both of your heads resting on a fallen log “look up”

You turned your eyes towards the night sky and gasped in awe, the entire sky was full of stars, you could see every single constellation.

“It’s beautiful” you whisper “I wish I could stay here forever”

“Told you you’d love it here” you glance over and meet Soap’s eye.

You stared into his eyes for what seemed like hours before you felt him shuffling closer until he was nose to nose with you. You’re not sure who made the first move, perhaps you both did, but Soap’s lips found yours as his hand moved from his beer to the back of your head, holding you closer to him.

You yelped in surprise against his lips as his other arm wound around your waist and pulled you onto his lap “I’ve got you bonnie” he smirked as he left open mouth kisses along your jaw and down your neck, his hand resting underneath you jaw, tilting your head to allow him more access to your neck. You throw your head back as a giggle erupts from your throat as Soap’s lips find a ticklish spot on your neck, you feel him smile against your skin as he continues his journey down your throat.

You reach down and take hold of Soap’s shirt and pull it over his head, his lips leaving your skin for the briefest moment as the shirt is pulled over his face. He leans forward and rests his forehead against yours as you catch your breath, blue eyes shining in the light of the campfire.

Soap curses as the boom of thunder breaks through the air, looking up at the sky as the first large raindrops land on your skin, he maneuvers you in his arms and carries you to the tent.

Setting you down in front of him, he wraps his fingers in your hair and pulls you against his lips, kissing you. His hands find the buttons of your shirt and makes quick work of them before he slides the fabric down over your arms and throws it over his shoulder.

The wind howled outside the shelter of your tent as you slowly undress each other, eyes and fingers tracing over each newly exposed area of skin, committing every single thing to memory “fuck lass, are you trying to kill me?” Soap smirked as his eyes practically devoured you. Standing in front of each other, dressed only in your underwear, both suddenly overwhelmed by the thought of being naked in front of each other for the first time.

Soap laid you down on the mattress he’d brought for the base of the tent “Do you want me to stop?” He asked as he positioned himself between your legs, resting on his forearms as he hovered over you.

“No” you whisper, fingers trailing through the coarse hair covering his chest. Soap shivered as your nails drag their way down his chest towards the waistband of his boxers “do you want me to, stop I mean?”

“If you stop I think might die” he claimed dramatically.

“Is that so?” You grin.

“I’d perish” Soap grins playfully back down at you “slowly and painfully in fact”

“Well, we can’t have that”

He leans back and kneels between your legs as lean forward, hands dragging his boxers down over his hips, Soap’s hands cover yours helping to remove the boxers down off his legs as your eyes wander over the length of his body, you unconsciously lick your lips as your eyes roam over his cock and he grins as your eyes meet his again “see something you like?” that cocky little shit.

Soap wraps his arms around you and lifts you up onto his lap as skilled hands make quick work of undoing your bra and throwing it to the other side of the tent. As he lays you back down you raise your hands to cover yourself, suddenly shy under the heat of his gaze.

“Come on now” he smiles softly “don’t tell me you’re going shy on me” You find yourself smiling back as you slowly lower your hands. His lips find yours “lift your hips for me love” he mutters against your lips.

“Christ” he mutters under his breath as his eyes roam over you “can’t tell you how many times if imagined you like this”

“You have?”

“Mhmm, seeing you now, definitely didn’t do justice to the real thing” you feel yourself blushing as you reach between your bodies to guide him towards your pussy.

“Soap…please” you grind yourself against the head of his cock.

“Please what love?” Soap grins, knowing he has you exactly where he wants you.

“Are you going to fuck me or what?” You sass.

He finally pushes into you with a single thrust “there she is” he smirks as you gasp. His forehead rests against yours as his crystalline blue eyes watch over every emotion that crosses your face. He hikes your thighs over his hips as his thrusts become more forceful, hands scrambling to feel every inch of exposed skin they can.

He lays kisses across your chest, blindly finding your nipple as his fingers graze your clit. Your thrust grow more frantic as you both begin to approach your climax. You cling to his shoulders, crying out his name Johnny as you as you come. Soap follows soon after, his own orgasm hitting him with a final thrust. He comes with a grunt as he collapses on top of you, you hold him tightly as you catch your breath. You hear yourself whimper as he pulls out of you, he wraps his arms around you tightly as he buries his face against your neck.

The next morning you find yourself curled into Soap’s chest as he lays on his back, one leg thrown over his and your head resting on his chest. Your stomach rumbling with hunger “What do you want to eat?” He asks, his morning voice made thicker by his accent.

You pretend to think, resting your chin in your arms over his chest “bacon and eggs”

“Oh aye, my girl wants bacon and eggs?” His arms tighten around you, holding you close. My girl, he calls you like it’s the most natural thing in the world “and what do I get in return?” His eyes glint as he smiles.

“Round two?”

Soap rolls the two of you over, laughing as he starts to lay kisses all over your face and neck “works for me”

[mieeaahhh]

Give us some kateaaron hcs if you have any, the parasites in me need them 👹

Anything for the parasites🙌

Kateaaron headcannons

Aaron wears Katelyn’s cheerleading jumper and Katelyn wears Aaron’s Exy jumper

Katelyn is actually really tall and towers over Aaron LMFAO

Katelyn has a morning skin care routine and a night skin routine and when she and Aaron sleep in the same dorm she makes him do her night routine with her. In the future, when they live together, he does the morning AND night routine with her. (He likes it when she does it for him🫡)(I’ve said this headcannon so many times)

The vixens hated Aaron at first but after awhile they became his only friends outside of the foxes. (he’s aloud to join girls nights and sleepovers🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)

Have had matching Halloween costumes a few times. Their favourite was mr and Mrs fox!

Katelyn’s love language is acts of service and Aaron’s is physical touch.

Katelyn had buck teeth as a kid and refused to let Aaron see a photo of it until one day her parents showed him photos of her as a baby/kid. (They show him baby photos every time he comes over)

On movie nights they watch musicals instead. Aaron’s favourite is Hamilton and Katelyn’s is heathers

Both Aaron and Andrew blush very very easily. They could have complete straight faces, no expression, but their ears and cheeks will be red. Neil never points it out (for obvious reasons) but Katelyn always points it out.

Have sooooo many mirror selfies together (taken by Katelyn) and it’s just them in their pajamas, brushing their teeth or just in a random reflection they found while out etc etc.

Katelyn also takes 0.5s of Aaron all the time.

Whenever Katelyn is able to get her nails done or puts stick on nails on, Aaron always silently hints at her to play with his hair and scratch his face. (obviously not actually scratching)

Little 🥄 Aaron and big 🥄 katelyn

Aaron doesn’t like loud noises and jumps a lot because of them and if Katelyn’s with him when it happens he just kind of instinctively grabs her.

Katelyn has really curly, long, ginger hair and Aaron has unfortunately woken up with it in his mouth.

Renee, Allison and Dan invited Katelyn to join their girls night once and it ended up becoming a thing for them all.

Katelyn has a younger sister around the age of 5 or 6 and she’s one of those younger siblings who are obsessed with their older siblings partner and always tries to ‘marry them’.

SCOTTISH KATELYN!!!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ Aaron likes the way his name sounds with her accent.

They BOTH wear glasses. Not just Aaron. Someone when they are both wearing them and go to kiss each other the glasses get in the way and it’s really cute and really awkward and they are loser nerd weird loser nerds who’s glasses get in the way of their kissing and it’s really cute and cute and awkward and loserish and cute

Pansexual Katelyn and Asexual Aaron.

I have more but I’m lazy

[harrygoeswest]

Harry Styles is your sworn enemy. You've decided to take a holiday in the Scottish Highlands, and so has he. And there's only one bed…

~~~

A/N: Hiiiiii! I think I announced this like 3 months ago and never finished it, but we're finally here! I actually really fucking love this story. I've never done this 'one bed' trope before, nor an enemies-to-lovers OU, because EVERYONE loves H man, right? Well, not this YN. And he's not too fond of her either. I'm really excited to share it with you. Again, what started as a one shot grew into a two-parter because I simply cannot contain myself when the ball starts rolling. Anyhoo, to my forever friend @all-things-fic, thank you as always for reading this through and making me snort at your comments and being the ultimate validator <3

Word Count: 13,261 Trigger Warnings: Swearing (obvs), vomiting, bed-sharing with a sexy man

~~~

Rain. Persistent, unabated, never-ending, relentless rain. It was all you’d heard and seen all day and you were sick of it. You’d never really minded it until today, but thanks to one shit-show after another, you were ready to relinquish it. You wanted it gone. Your summer holiday was already off to a bad start.

“Bad day?”

Where to begin?

A cabin in the Scottish Highlands had sounded like the perfect escape for a four-week break away from the city. You had work to do, deadlines to meet, but at least you could do it without being interrupted. Without the sounds of pedestrians and car horns and wayward seagulls and bike bells. Yep, the Highlands still sounded perfect, but the endless string of catastrophes made you wonder if it really was perfect or rather just a ridiculous indulgence.

No. You deserved this break. Bad day or not, the holiday was needed.

When your brother had told you a year ago that he’d bought a holiday home in the Highlands you hadn’t exactly been surprised. He and his wife had been talking about it for years, and he’d finally earned enough money through his music career to be able to do it. Sadly, with your own deadlines and packed schedule, this was the first time in said year you’d been able to find time to go.

Apparently the all-knowing entity in your life had other plans.

You were supposed to come by plane first thing this morning, but your car had broken down on the way to the airport and you spent 3 hours waiting for the AA to rescue you. You had then managed to rearrange your flight to a later one, but because of the weather, all other flights out of Bristol had been cancelled for the day. You then spent a ridiculous amount of money on a 10 hour train from Bristol to Inverness with a change at Edinburgh in between, and were now forking out on a taxi to take you the rest of the way.

At that particular point in time, a cabin in the middle of nowhere seemed like a dreadful fucking idea.

“Could say that.” You managed weakly.

The driver chuckled to himself and you tried not to squeal. “Nearly there now. Fifteen minutes or so.”

There is a God!

Forty-five minutes later he finally stopped in the middle of a single track road. Your eyelid had been twitching for half that time, and a headache was forming in your left temple.

He turned over his shoulder and flashed a grin. He was missing an incisor and three of his other teeth were gold. “This is as far as I can get you. Cabin is at the top of that hill.”

You gave him a look, then peered out the window. All you could see was rain and mud and a black night. “What hill?”

“You’ll find it. Fare is sixty.”

“Sixty quid?”

He nodded. “Scottish if you’ve got ‘em. I’m a collector.”

“We agreed on forty. And no, I don’t have any bloody Scottish notes.” A Scottish man collecting Scottish money! On what planet?!

“No, sixty.”

You muttered expletives under your breath and shoved the money at him over his shoulder.

“Y’alright gettin’ your own case, love? Don’t really want t’ get wet.”

“Un-fucking-believable.”

In the shittiest, snappiest manner you could muster, you got out of the car and retrieved your luggage from the boot, slamming every door you touched. The driver immediately pulled off once the boot was closed, pipping his horn.

“Wanker!” You yelled after him.

Finding your bearings, you located the ‘hill’ he’d been talking about, forcing down your frustration at the size of the damn thing as you started up the pathway. You dragged your suitcase behind you through the mud, grateful it had a hard and waterproof plastic exterior. At least after all this you’d be able to take a shower and change into clean clothes.

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to reach the cabin, thanks to not only the rain but also the brutal wind. When you finally reached the porch you fell onto it, greeted by the most intense relief you’d ever felt. You took a minute to recover from your exercise, and then fumbled around on the dark porch for the stone your brother had left the key under.

“Aha.” Delighted when you found it, you pulled the key out of the rock and shoved it in the door, unlocking it.

Heat floated over your body, as did warm, homey light. Weird. Why were the lights on?

Then did your eyes land on the thing that was most definitely out of place. 

A loud, shrill scream ripped from your body.

A man was in the cabin. A naked man. Mostly. The only thing saving him and you was the towel wrapped around his waist. Shiny back, muscly arms, damp neck, wet hair. At the sound of your wail he turned around, equally as alarmed.

“What the-?”

In his panic, the grip he had on his towel slipped, and you were given more of an eyeful than you ever bargained for. 

You screamed again and reached for the closest thing to you, then lurched it across the room at him. Then your brain caught up with you, and you pulled the door closed again, separating you from him. You were back outside in the cold.

That man wasn’t just anyone. He’d never been just anyone. He was your sister-in-law’s friend. He was your brother’s boss, to a degree. He was your worst fucking nightmare rolled into physical human form.

He was Harry fucking Styles.

This was officially the worst day of your life.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeated, over and over again as you paced the porch, head in your hands. You knocked into your suitcase multiple times and it ended up falling down the porch steps into a muddy puddle. You tripped over a loose piece of decking at least twice. You caught your hip on the porch bannister, too. But none of it registered with you while your brain cycled between images of Harry’s naked back and his large appendage.

How could this be happening? What had you done to deserve such a catastrophic start to your holiday? You couldn’t stay here. Not with that man. That man that you hated, and who hated you in return. This was a disaster.

You dug your phone out of your sopping handbag. No signal. 

“Oh, come on.” You hissed.

Stubborn as always, you tried to call your brother anyway. Repeatedly. Twenty times, at least, each one failing to connect. You couldn’t even leave a voicemail. You raised the phone to the sky like it was baby Simba. Still nothing.

“Fuck!”

The door swung open, and Harry said your name in a low grunt.

You swivelled, glare like a dagger. “You. Why the fuck are you here?”

“Why am I here?” He scoffed. He was clothed now, in a t-shirt and jogging bottoms. “Why are you here?”

“This is my brother’s cabin! I have a key! He said I could stay here!”

“Well, guess what?” He leaned forward, arms crossed. “Holly said I could stay here, too.”

You wanted to throw your phone at his stupid face. “Fucking great.”

“There’s obviously been some misunderstanding.” He straightened.

“You don’t say…” 

His gaze narrowed. “You’re impossible.”

“At least I’m not the one who’s stupid enough to state the obvious.”

You turned away again and tried your brother one more time. The beep beep beep that told you the call had failed yet again had your stomach in knots.

“There’s no phone signal here.”

“Yes, thank you. Just go back inside.”

“No.”

“For the love of Christ, why not?”

“I’d rather see what you’re going to do with yourself.”

You turned another glare on him. “Oh, I’m so glad that the shitty situation I’ve found myself in is entertaining you, Harry. Please, mock me some more. The resulting anger might actually take the chill out of my fucking toes.”

He looked like he was about to open his mouth, but you didn’t let him.

“You know, this really has been the day from hell. It’s been a categorical disaster from start to finish, and finally getting myself here only to find you, of all people, really is the cherry on top of my whopping slice of shit pie. So please, do me this one favour, and sod off back inside.”

His jaw ticked, and he emitted a low growl before he slammed the door of the cabin and left you in the cold, wet night.

A sob wracked through you, and you flopped down on the top step just to let your body deflate for five minutes. It was so cold you were shivering. Your clothes clung to your body like sheets of ice, your lips were cracked, and a bite ate away at your toes.

You knew you couldn’t do much tonight. You’d have to wait until tomorrow, for when the storm hopefully passed, and you could call your brother to give him a gobful and then walk into the village to find a B&B or cheap hotel. You hadn’t forgotten that your train ticket was a set day return for four weeks’ time. You’d just have to wait until Harry was gone before you took your time to enjoy the cabin like you’d planned.

When you finally calmed down you dragged your suitcase out of the mud and dropped it on the driest part of the deck. You dug around for the jumper you’d brought with you and pulled it over your frozen torso. You also took your shoes and socks off and put two clean pairs on. Once you were wrapped back up in your coat, you settled on the armchair that was the least wet and tried to go to sleep.

After five minutes or so, the cabin door creaked open again.

“Come inside, please.” Harry’s voice was void of any emotion.

“No.”

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here.”

“Rather that than share a bed with you.”

“And you think I want to share a bed with you, either?”

“Then we’re both on the same page. I’m fine out here.”

“You are not fuckin’ fine out here. It’s shitting it down, for fuck’s sake, you could get a flu. Or worse.”

You hadn’t opened your eyes so you had no idea what his facial expression read. “I’m surprised you give a shit enough to care.”

“I don’t particularly, but I like your brother and I don’t want him thinking I didn’t at least try to get you to be sensible when it’s fucking biblical outside.”

“I’ll pass.”

Harry took a deep breath, and he muttered, “Bloody insufferable woman,” before he slammed the door again.

You snuggled further into the chair, shoving your hands under your face. You thought that would be the end of it, but no more than thirty seconds later the door swung back open. You pretended to ignore him, expecting a verbal taunt. Instead, all you got was scuffing noises.

Pushing down the urge to growl like he did at you, you squeezed your eyes shut and faked indifference at his huffy grunting. Until he dragged you out of the chair and hauled you into the cabin in three easy movements.

“What are you doing?” You demanded, scowling at him as he locked the door behind you.

“You can be as stubborn and petty as you like about this, but you are not staying outside in the rain. End of story.”

“I was fine!”

“You were not fine.” He folded his arms again. “Look at you, for fuck’s sake. You’re about five seconds away from catching hypothermia. You think I want that on my hands? You, of all people, needing my attention every day for the next five weeks? I don’t, by the way. I came here for a holiday, too.”

“I didn’t bring myself here to be a God damn burden to you, Harry. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Why don’t you go and get in the shower, and maybe you’ll calm the fuck down.”

You inched closer to him. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love that. Me, following your orders like some sycophant.”

He took a step closer to me. “I would, actually. It might make you somewhat tolerable.”

“Get fucked, Harry.”

“Sounds like you need that more than I do.”

You produced a noise somewhere between a grunt and a squeal, and shoved at his chest once before you stalked away. “Prick.”

He hummed, entertained. “Try not to think about mine while you’re in there. I’m sure the sight of it has left you with enough to be desired.”

Too tired to argue with him anymore, you threw your middle finger at him over your shoulder.

Whether you’d been forced inside against your will or not, you really did want a shower before a permanent chill settled over you. You turned the water on and let it run hot. The second it swilled over your body you let out a helpless moan. 

You stood stoic underneath it for an indeterminate amount of time, just willing your body to warm up. The day washed away from you, worries temporarily forgotten while you soaked up as much heat as you could. Oh, it was glorious. A shower had never been so rewarding.

After a while you realised you didn’t have any of your shower stuff with you, still locked in your suitcase, and you let out a huff. You surveyed what Harry had brought with him and spent too long debating whether it was socially acceptable to wash using your mortal enemy’s shower gel. You decided against it and would properly wash in the morning.

Taking another ten minutes, you decided you were ready to face Harry again and whatever bollocks he might throw your way. You found a towel and gave your hair a dry, then wrapped it around your body. You hadn’t thought this through in your desperation to get away from him.

You stepped out of the room with purpose and marched over to where Harry had abandoned your suitcase after dragging it inside earlier, and carefully picked your way through it to find your pyjamas and toothbrush. Without giving the man even the slightest glance, you locked yourself back up in the bathroom to change and clean your teeth.

“Forget your clothes?” Harry asked at your second reappearance.

“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?” You gave a roll of your eyes.

He sat straighter in the armchair he was settled into, “Why answer a question with another question?”

You ignored him. Instead you gave yourself the opportunity to actually take in your brother’s second home. You realised it was tiny. Like Tiny Home tiny. When he said he’d bought a cabin you thought he meant something like a chalet. But no, this was small. A kitchenette had been built into the right-hand wall by the front door with a fridge, a two-plate hob and a stainless steel sink. Two armchairs sat either side of a small birch table, and a double bed at the back of the room with a cherrywood wardrobe. A woven rug gave the space a homey feel, balancing the bare oak that gave foundation for the rest of the place.

A sinking feeling buried in you when you realised there wasn’t a sofa.

You rubbed a hand into your cheek, feeling slightly cheated by your brother and his wife. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Harry said into the quiet, all malice and jest lost.

“I feel like it.” You admitted, turning your stare on the bed. “I’m just tired.”

He cleared his throat and stood. “I sleep on the left.”

You refrained from giving him another eye roll and instead focussed on settling down. You left your phone on the dining table, plugged in to charge overnight, poured a glass of water which you drank in one long swig, and then returned to the bed.

“What are you doing?”

Harry had settled on the left side of the bed but with his head at the foot and his feet at the top. If he slept on the left, did that not completely defeat the purpose of his claim?

“Top and tail.”

“Yeah, no. Absolutely not.” You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I am not giving you the opportunity to stick your foot in my face at any given point in the night.”

He kissed his teeth and sat up with a scowl. “Woman, you have got some major fuckin’ trust issues.”

“With you I do, absolutely.”

You waited until he was in bed the right way up before you slipped in yourself and turned the light off. The room was cast in darkness and your eyes struggled to adjust. You faced away from Harry on your side, wriggling to find a comfortable position, and you could hear him doing the same.

His foot was definitely on your side of the bed so you kicked it away. He then tried to take the covers off you, but you were quick to snatch them back. He let out a deep sigh.

“Can I have some of the quilt, please?”

“You’ve got some.”

“I have none.”

“Bullshit.”

He ripped the covers away again, and you fought the urge to squeal.

“Give some back.”

“You have some.” He said in the same tone you had.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“I’m cold.”

“You’ve just spent an hour using up all the hot water so I refuse to believe that.”

“What is your problem?”

“You are.”

You grit your teeth. Folding your arms, you scooted as close to the edge of the bed as possible without falling off. Arguing with him was fruitless, it just left you angry and wired.

Tomorrow, you resolved to find somewhere, anywhere else to stay. For now, you’d try to sleep uncomfortable and coverless.

~

Had you slept?

No.

For hours you’d imprisoned yourself on the edge of the bed, cold and coverless, hugging yourself in an attempt to keep warm, and squeezing your eyes closed just praying that sleep would come. But it never did. You’d think after the day you had yesterday it would be easy to just drop off. Why would it be that simple for you?

You knew it was light outside now thanks to the inside of your eyelids. You decided then to give up. Sleep wasn’t coming.

As you opened your eyes you realised how close to the edge of the bed you were. At the same time, Harry wriggled again, further onto your side of the mattress, and his knee nudged your backside.

Oh no.

Struggling to find anything to hold onto, your body tumbled over the edge. A panicked yelp tore out of you, followed by a grunt and a thud when you hit the floor.

“Ow.” You whimpered. You’d fallen on your front, knee and toe first followed by your head. You rolled onto your back and held onto your forehead as if it might stop the pounding you felt.

Laughter started, and your eyes flew open to find Harry hovering over the side of the bed, green eyes shining. You were, actually, somewhat offended by how entertained he was. If it was acceptable to hit people, you’d be hitting him.

“You alright down there?”

“No I’m not fucking alright, Harry.”

Your own anger made the throbbing in your head worse so you stayed on your back.

“Alright, was only a question.”

“This is your bloody fault - you’re a bed hogger!”

“Yeah? Well you snore!”

“Considering I didn’t get a single second of sleep last night I don’t know how you’ve landed on that conclusion, and I can only assume you’ve made it up to piss me off.”

“You were snoring.” He said in a flat voice.

“No I wasn’t.”

The throbbing got worse again, so you squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Then another.

“You’ve hit your head.”

If the thought of rolling your eyes didn’t make you nauseous you’d absolutely do it. “If there was an award for Best Observationist, you’d win it.”

“Do you need ice or something?”

His voice had changed and it somewhat startled you. You peeled an eye open again to find he hadn’t moved - he was still hanging over the bed. His expression, however, was neutral.

“Yes. Please.”

He gave a curt nod and then disappeared. You closed your eyes again, willing the throbbing away.

“There isn’t any ice.”

You refrained from screaming, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. “Okay.”

“Here,” his voice was much closer, and he gave a little pat to your knee, “this might help.”

Peeling an eye open, he flashed a couple of boxes of painkillers. “Panadol.” Of course the man had branded paracetamol. The 95p boxes of Sainsbury’s own shoved in your kitchen cupboard looked shameful right about now.

“Extra strength. And that rapid relief ibuprofen.”

“You brought painkillers with you on holiday?”

He shrugged. “I’m here for a long time. Hangovers need encouragement to get fucked.”

You raised a sceptic brow. “And here I thought some magical mystery Nutri-Bullet recipe would be your saviour.”

“Funny.” He muttered.

Huh. How unlike him not to shove a witty rebuttal at you.

“Do you need help getting up or are you just gonna sit on the floor all day?”

Your scowl returned. “I’m fine.”

On shaky legs and with a fuzzy head, you grabbed the side of the bed and hauled yourself up. You weren’t sure if the sudden ringing in your ears was something you should be worried about, but you persisted.

Once sat, Harry handed you the tablet boxes and fetched a glass of water for you while you thumbed out two of each.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

“Please and thank you in the space of ten minutes?” He goaded. “Sounds like you’ve got a concussion.”

“My parents didn’t raise me in a barn.”

He stood with his broad arms folded across his chest while he watched you swallow down four tablets, face a mishmash of irritation and something else. You refused to believe it was concern so you attributed it to frustration. You were just ruining his holiday the same way he was ruining yours.

You decided to finish the water, and then Harry took the boxes and the glass from you. You laid back down, shielding the room and your eyes with your arms.

“Sure you don’t need a hospital?” His voice was far away.

“Yes. I just need to close my eyes for a bit. I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t answer, and you were thankful. Any more talking and your head might have exploded.

~

You’d fallen asleep. While you hadn’t intended to, you couldn’t help but be grateful for the respite. There was no way you would’ve been able to do anything on zero hours sleep, so a few was better than nothing.

You sat up, noticing that you’d corrected yourself direction-wise on the bed and pulled the covers over you. You must’ve done it subconsciously.

The cabin was quiet. Almost eerily so. There was no sign of Harry anywhere. The only sign that he’d been there at all was his own suitcase tucked away in the corner. No sound came from the bathroom, and all you could hear outside was birds.

Birds. Not rain.

You scrambled out of bed towards the front door and hauled it open, but it was locked. Harry had locked you in. You found the key your brother had left for you on the table and put it to use.

It was glorious outside. Not a cloud in the sky, blue everywhere, green even more so. And it was warm. Summer dress warm. Your feet itched to go outside, but you knew you needed to take it easy. The headache hadn’t completely subsided, but it was tolerable. Barely there. A shower and some food would fix it.

You closed the door and locked it again, determined to start your day. Steadily.

You were about to head straight for the shower when you noticed it. A brown paper bag trapped under a pretty mug, and a jar of instant coffee wedged inside it. The mug lived here - you recognised it from Holly’s old flat. But the greasy brown bag did not. You noticed the letters GF scrawled on the front.

He remembered.

Warning bells started screaming inside your head as you plucked the bag out and opened it up. The smell of cooled buttery pastry wafted from inside, and you pulled out the biggest croissant you’d ever seen.

The message was clear as day. Eat and get some caffeine in you.

This was bad. Angry Harry you could deal with any day of the week at any time of day. You could even cope with jester Harry, because you gave just as good as you got. But this? Base-level concern? It threw you for a loop.

Regardless, you were starving. So you boiled the kettle and made your coffee just how you like it as you tore off pieces of pastry and gobbled it down. While you waited for your coffee to cool once your croissant was demolished, you took a quick shower.

Half an hour later you were out the door and feeling a hell of a lot better than you had done for weeks. You wandered down into the village, the sun a glowing comfort on your bare skin.

You had a mission today: alternative accommodation.

You kept an eye on your phone for patches of signal, and called your brother whenever you found some. He never answered. Part of you wondered if he was ignoring you, and if that was the case you were going to have a very big problem. He only ignored you if he was avoiding you.

And that wasn’t even your biggest problem.

“I’m sorry, we’re full.” The receptionist at the final B&B said with barely an ounce of emotion.

“The sign outside said you had vacancies.”

“I just sold the last one over the phone. Haven’t had time to change it.” She gave me a smile that didn’t touch her eyes.

You fought a petulant sigh. “Do you know where else I can stay? I’ve tried every B&B here and no one has any vacancies.”

“Why don’t you try an AirBnB.” She suggested with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “You young people seem to love those.”

Ah, so this was a territorial issue. You gave her a flat glare and left without another word.

Yet again, you found yourself in a rut. Your good mood had been successfully wiped away. Maybe you would check AirBnB, but the thought of spending another obscene amount on accommodation filled you with a sickly feeling.

Your phone started ringing, much to your surprise. Holly. “Is my brother ignoring me?”

“I don’t know, but if he was, he probably wouldn’t tell me.” She laughed, always a fan of your no-nonsense approach. “I thought I’d call since I haven’t heard from you. Did you make it there alive?”

“Alive is not the word I’d use to describe my current state. It’s also impossible to call someone when the phone signal is worse than a World War II air raid shelter.”

Holly cackled. “You’re such a nerd. What’s wrong?”

“Either you’re playing dumb to avoid my wrath or you’re very stupid.”

She gasped your name but she was most definitely entertained. “What do you mean?”

“Harry is here. Using your holiday home.”

An extended period of silence followed, completed with a breathy, “Oh… shit.”

Oh shit, indeed.

“Well,” she seemed to shake herself, “it can’t be that bad.”

This one was truly off her rocker. “Can’t be that bad? Holly, how many times have you been in a room with me and Harry at the same time?”

“Plenty.”

“Exactly. How many times have we had a fight whilst in said same room together?”

“Almost always.”

“Not almost always, just always. We. Do. Not. Get. On.”

“Oh, babe, I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“There’s only one fucking bed!”

Holly went quiet for a minute, and you realised you’d earned the attention of a few passers by. You sat down on a nearby bench, wary of the throb in your head getting worse.

“Are you okay?” She finally asked.

That set you off. You launched into your shitty day from yesterday, from the car breakdown to the taxi driver to hitting your head this morning. Words without breath had never left you so fast and the feeling you were rewarded with after was less than satisfactory. Deflation. Sadness.

“Oh, hun, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going.” You were certain she was lying about that last sentence but you didn’t interrupt her. “I’ll get in touch with Harry and tell him to rein it in.”

“I don’t need you to curb the man on my behalf, Hol. I can handle him myself. I just… I really wish he wasn’t here.”

“Do you want me to make him leave?”

A rare sight of guilt crept its way into the centre of your stomach. You battled the urge to say yes, because you knew if Holly asked him to, he would absolutely go. “No… hardly fair. He was here first.”

“Yeah but I bet you would’ve been if all those things didn’t go wrong yesterday.”

You grunted. You were supposed to arrive just before 9am yesterday morning, not close to 11pm. “Don’t make him leave. I’m a bitch but I’m not a complete cunt.”

“You’re not either of those things by any stretch. My friend just happens to know how to really rattle your cage.”

Ain’t that the truth. “I’m trying to find a B&B or something but they’re all full.”

“Oh, please don’t spend more money.”

“I can’t stay in your cabin, Hol. I didn’t sleep last night and that man does not know how to share a queen bed.”

“It’s actually a three-quarter bed.”

“Fuck off.” You groaned.

“Look, we wanted it to be as spacious as possible there. We didn’t anticipate two people who claim to hate each other having to share it. It’s for cuddling.”

That urge to smack someone reared its ugly head. “You’re ridiculous.”

She laughed from the back of her throat, and as irritated as you were it did make you smile. “Take a long walk, babe. If you’re in the village there’s a great ice cream place near the church that’ll make you forget all about He Who Shall Not Be Named.”

You rolled your eyes. “I can say Harry, for fuck’s sake.”

She screamed as if she’d been burned, teasing you.

“Shut up.” You actually managed to laugh. “Fine. I’ll go find some ice cream. But if they’ve got WiFi I will absolutely be looking for an AirBnB.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“Do me a favour and tell my brother to stop being a wuss.”

“Oh, come on, you know he can’t handle your wrath. You can tell him yourself, anyway.”

You started looking around to see if they’d actually come up and were just loitering nearby to piss you off.

“What?”

“We were going to surprise you but I think you might murder us if we did. We’re on our way to you. My Nanna will be coming, too - we’ve got a table booked at the pub in the village.”

Unbelievable. “You little minx.” 

One of the reasons Holly and your brother bought a holiday home in Scotland was to be able to spend more time with Holly’s family. While she grew up in London and has never left it, her mum’s side of the family are all in Scotland.

Holly giggled, obviously delighted with herself. “Sorry. We’re set to arrive in about two hours.”

“But where are you staying?”

“My Nan’s house.”

“Not got a spare room, has she?” You mumbled.

“I know you don’t mean that, but she doesn’t. We’re staying on her pullout.”

“Damn.”

“We’re gonna go straight there and then come to you afterwards, alright?”

You took a deep breath and stood up from your bench. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you in a few hours, then.”

“Byeee!”

You were already making a beeline for the ice cream shop by the time she put the phone down.

It was a cute little parlour, like something straight out of a movie. Retro tiles covered the walls and floor in pinks and yellows, two long display freezers to the left full to the brim with every single flavour one could ever imagine. Tables spread across the right and spilled onto the street, and booths in the corner each had a miniature jukebox on top.

“How can I help you?” A man behind the counter asked, dressed in a full uniform complete with the little hat.

“Hi, um,” you gave him the best smile you could, even if you were overwhelmed, “do you have any gluten free cones?”

“Sure,” he gestured to the stand on the top with a variety of cones, from small to ridiculously large in size, “just this one.”

The cone in question was the most pathetic-looking of them all. You did your absolute best to hide your disappointment. “Great, then I’ll have one of those. Chocolate, please.”

“Which type?” He lifted a brow.

You realised then that there were about ten different chocolate flavours. “Er… which is the best one in your opinion?”

That perked him up. He spent the next five minutes listing off reasons why the chocolate and hazelnut flavour was his most popular of all his options.

“I guess that’s the one I want, then.” You forced another smile.

“Coming right up.”

Something made you shiver, but it wasn’t a gust of wind or the freezers you stood by.

“At least try and act like you’re excited about it.” A deep voice murmured, far too close to your ear for your liking.

You practically hissed and took a very purposeful step away. “Jesus, Harry.”

He laughed, but the sound wasn’t spiteful like it usually would be. “Only you could make ice cream seem rubbish.”

“I don’t think ice cream is rubbish,” Was your only retort. You just wished gluten free cones didn’t look so fucking sad.

The owner handed you your cone and you paid him in cash. “Do you have WiFi in here?”

“Sure. Password’s on the wall up there.” He pointed at a laminated sign, and then turned his attention to Harry. “Hey, aren’t you that guy?”

Your cue to leave.

While Harry had an awkward conversation with the parlour owner about which guy he was, you connected to the internet and took a seat on the patio outside with your back to the sun. A satisfied hum left you at the warmth on your skin. You concentrated on demolishing your ice cream before you made a mess of yourself.

Unfortunately, Harry decided today wasn’t the day he was going to leave you alone. He sat down opposite you with a three-flavour cone, the colours unsettlingly unnatural. He looked uncomfortable, and this time it wasn’t because of you.

“What on Earth is that?”

“This is a masterpiece.” At least he could still behave like an idiot even when he’d been ‘spotted’.

“It looks disgusting.”

You watched him with a deep-seated discomfort as he shamelessly licked around his cone. Unfiltered moans came out of his mouth, but you were certain he was acting up for your benefit.

“What flavours are they?” You just had to ask.

“Mint chocolate, bubblegum and ginger.”

“Ginger?” You almost choked on a hazelnut. “Sir, you have a serious problem.”

He laughed again, that same obnoxiously easy sound as before. “Did you just call me sir?”

“I did and I immediately regret it.”

He made a noise, an amused squeak of sorts. “Why did you look so horrified by yours, anyway?”

You shifted in your chair, having just popped the end of the cone in your mouth. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure the owner wasn’t listening, pleased to find him distracted by a large family. “The gluten free options for cones was utter shite.”

“How so?”

“Well, he only had one type, and it was poxy as shit.”

He snorted. “I thought it looked small. I don’t imagine it being a lot of fun.”

You were immediately reminded of the croissant he’d picked up for you. You knew that you needed to say thank you, even if it did feel like taking a punch in the gut. “Thank you for the pastry.”

He paused mid-lick as if you’d just spoken a foreign language. He looked ridiculous and almost child-like, green eyes wide and pupils so narrow thanks to the sun they were barely visible. He rescued a drip before he made a mess. “Welcome. How is your…” he tapped his temple.

“Yeah, better.”

“Good.”

You returned to silence, and you got busy looking for a new place to stay. The options were… lacking. You knew the decision to go away during the school holidays would be a silly one anyway, but you wanted the heat. You wanted a summer holiday. Not a cold and wet one. But at such late notice in an area with limited options to begin with, all that was really left were large houses for groups of ten or places miles and miles away that would cost yet more money to travel to. The only other thing you could think of was buying a tent and pitching up on a nearby campsite, but you fucking hated tents and camping.

As time wore on and Harry’s ice cream disappeared, you noticed him growing more restless. You glanced up a couple of times to find him with his head down, but you eventually figured out the source of his discomfort. He was shooting looks at something over your shoulder while constantly readjusting his ball cap.

You straightened in your seat and twisted yourself slightly to get a better look.

“Don’t turn around.” He muttered without looking at you.

You frowned. “Why?”

He never gave you an answer so you did it anyway. A couple of tables over someone was doing a very bad job at hiding their phone.

For God’s sake. 

“Do you want to swap seats?” You offered.

He gave you a startled look, and admittedly you were surprised at your own suggestion. “No.”

“You sure? The back of your head is way less appealing than the front of it.”

You could see the confusion spread across his face and you wished immediately that you could take your words back. He was too wound up to mention it now, but you knew he definitely would in the future.

“They’ve already got about fifteen minutes worth of pictures, there’s no point moving now.” He huffed and readjusted the hat on his head once more, eyes downcast.

You pursed your lips in thought. After a moment you readjusted your seat so that you were hopefully positioned right in the way. Harry gave you a blank look, eyes still darting to the people behind you.

“Do you want to go?”

“Not particularly.”

You knew what he meant. He shouldn’t have to leave just because other people didn’t know how to behave like normal human beings.

A minute later the table behind you stood and left, so something had at least worked.

“Thank you.” He said it so quietly you nearly missed it. “Your lack of subtlety was almost entertaining.”

You weren’t offended by that. You hadn’t meant to be subtle. “I know we don’t get on but I respect your privacy. You should’ve asked them to delete it.”

“Then it just makes me look like a prick.”

“But you are a prick.”

He broke into another laugh. That laugh that held no malice or spite. The one he’d only debuted today. Then he slid back to stoicism. “I’ll be all over the Daily Mail again tomorrow anyway.”

Something weird happened. Anger materialised in your chest, and it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling in the slightest. What was unusual was that it came on Harry’s behalf. Usually you felt this way because of Harry, not for him.

You cleared your throat. “It’s okay to tell people to fuck off every once in a while, Harry.”

“Not when you’re me, it isn’t.”

“It is when people don’t know how to set boundaries.”

“Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” He readjusted his cap again and sunk further into his seat. “Not the first time I’ve been spotted on holiday.”

“With a mystery woman, no less.”

He snorted. “Sorry in advance.”

“For what?”

“You’re about to become the most interesting person on the planet. I’d privatise your Instagram.”

“It already is. Nor is it very interesting.”

“Just… I don’t know. I know what they’re like.”

“You think I give a shit what a bunch of people on the internet think about me?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Have I ever given a shit what anyone else has thought about me?”

He tipped his head. “No.”

“Exactly.”

“It’s their boundaries I’m worried about.”

“Don’t be. If those pictures do make it anywhere, I’ll have no problem telling the next person to fuck off if it comes to it.”

The smallest smile tugged at his lips. “Then I really hope for their sake that there isn’t a next time.”

~

You hadn’t left the parlour until you’d come up with a solution to your living arrangement. It took longer than you’d like, but eventually you settled for the only option; in two weeks you’d let Harry have the cabin and move into an AirBnB a few towns over. A bungalow this time with a very big bed. You’d had to fork out a deposit since it was a booking of more than 7 nights, which put another lovely dent in your bank balance. You were really trying not to think about it. 

Harry hadn’t passed comment when you told him. He just gave a blank stare and a curt nod, which was very unlike him. When it came to you, he’d never had any problem parting with his opinions.

You’d been ambushed on your way back to the cabin by your brother and Holly. After changing and freshening up you all walked down to the pub together to meet Holly’s Nanna. You had met her at the wedding but only briefly. Your brother and Holly’s special day had been somewhat dampened by the fact that Harry materialised again whenever you forgot about him and ended up drinking yourself into an early bedtime. The next morning you were rewarded with the worst hangover of your entire life.

Nanna was amazing. One of those larger than life women who weren’t afraid to drop the c word a couple of times without so much as batting an eyelid, and using Malibu as an excuse for a good time. You’d been seated on a round table which relieved you to no end. You were sandwiched between Nanna and your brother which meant there was a decent amount of distance between you and Harry.

“I need you to tell me something.” Nanna patted your arm, giving you her full attention.

It was like being addressed by royalty. “Anything.”

“I hear there’s a story about your brother involving nappies and toothpaste. A serial offence. He won’t tell me and Holly conveniently doesn’t know about it.”

You gave your brother a look.

“Please don’t.” He begged.

“But Nanna asked so nicely.”

“You’re about to embarrass me in front of the man I work for?”

You don’t look at Harry. “It’s not like you haven’t managed that all by yourself on previous occasions.”

“Yeah, don’t stop on my account.” Harry coughed, battling laughter.

“Great, we’re all on the same page.” You grinned. You turned back to Nanna, “Once upon a time, my little brother had to sleep in a crib and wear nappies just like all the other babies. He was cute, it should be said. I have a picture on my phone somewhere of him running around the garden with no clothes on.”

Your brother rolled his eyes and sunk into his seat with a scowl. Holly gave him a patronising pat on the shoulder.

“Anyway, beside the point. Like most toddlers he was an absolute tyrant, compared to me - I was an angel.”

“Hard to believe.” Harry muttered.

“Aye,” Nanna shot him a look. She’d been smitten with him all night until that point.

“Don’t worry about it - we’re in an ongoing feud.” You brushed the matter away and continued with your story. “During his reign of tyranny, he adopted a very obscure but passionate obsession with toothpaste. Colgate Cool Stripe only - no other product lived up to his expectations. It all started when, one day, our mother accidentally used adult toothpaste instead of the toddler stuff. An uphill battle began.

“Any time he had to clean his teeth, he’d try and use Colgate instead of the kiddy stuff, and mum or dad would fight with him until he surrendered in a screaming fit and had a toothbrush forced into his face hole.”

Someone sniggered, and your chest inflated. Making people laugh had always pleased you.

“His addiction got so bad, one night he managed to escape from his cot and into Mum and Dad’s bathroom. They found him on the floor with an empty tube and Colgate smushed all over his cute little face. Hours later he had a terrible accident. I won’t go into graphic detail since we’ve just had our dinner.”

Nanna started laughing, a throaty and hoarse sound. Given the amount of times she’d excused herself for a cigarette, you attributed that habit to the unique noise. “And this happened more than once?”

You nodded. “They tried locking it in the cabinet a few times, but he’d always find it. Eventually they changed tactics and just bought Aquafresh instead.”

Nanna hummed and gave him a pointed look. “I’ve always thought you were a picky bastard.”

“Nanna,” Holly gasped, shaking with laughter. She leaned her forehead against her husband’s shoulder.

“I can’t be that picky if I ended up with your granddaughter.”

Holly threw her hands up. “Does anyone else want to bully me today? Between that and being called very stupid I think I might have room for one more insult.”

“Your shoes don’t go with your dress.” Nanna said.

After a beat of silence, the table erupted into laughter.

The waiter returned to offer dessert, which you would usually forego since pubs rarely tended to offer gluten free choices without putting up a fight. You’d learned to live a sad, dessert-less existence. But everyone else was having one so you succumbed to peer pressure.

“What ice cream flavours do you have?”

“For the sundae?” The young girl asked with a confused frown.

“No, I’m coeliac so I can’t have it.”

“Oh,” her cheeks turned pink, which was not your intention, “sorry. Um, just the usual flavours, then.”

Neopolitan.

“Great, can I have two scoops of chocolate.”

“Sure.”

She was very quick to hurry off. Something bothered you about that whole exchange but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Aren’t you bored of chocolate ice cream?” Harry asked, but he was fiddling with his napkin rather than looking at you.

“Never.”

Holly kicked his leg under the table but you pretended not to notice.

After the bill was settled, which Harry tried to sneak off and pay for without telling anyone, you bid goodbye to each other and sent your brother, Holly and Nanna off together in a taxi. The waitress hadn’t stopped giving you wary glances ever since you asked for ice cream, and you still couldn’t place what went wrong. You might have been a little short with her but it wasn’t meant with any malice.

It didn’t really dawn on you what was wrong until you were walking up the hill to the cabin with Harry.

A curdling feeling in your stomach had you feeling very queasy very quickly.

“Oh no.” You mumbled, keeping your gaze on the grass below you. Your vision swung and you struggled to keep your balance.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, turning back to you. He’d been a couple of metres ahead of you for the entire walk so you didn’t have to force a conversation.

You sat down on the grass to keep yourself gravitated, but it was no good. You weren’t nauseous because you were dizzy, you were dizzy because you were sick.

You spent the next ten minutes vomiting into the bushes.

Harry had kept a relative distance from you while you were sick, only handing you a bottle of water when you seemed to give up the last of your stomach contents and take a big breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a cautious voice.

Unattractively, you swilled your mouth out and then necked the remaining contents of the bottle. “Yeah, fine.”

“What happened?”

“I think something went wrong at dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

You gave him a levelled look, trying to communicate with your eyes. It seemed like a ridiculous idea considering you could barely communicate together with words, let alone silent glances.

“Ah… did it say gluten free on the menu?”

You nodded.

“Did you tell them?”

You shook your head. Sometimes you liked to put faith in humanity and believe you’d be fine putting yourself in the hands of others. When you were dining with practical strangers, making a fuss about your condition made you feel like a twat, so you kept quiet about it. Now you wish you’d said something.

“Are you gonna make a complaint?”

You shook your head furiously and readjusted yourself to sit back on your arse rather than your knees. “Happens all the time, sadly.”

“That girl knew they’d fucked up, didn’t she?”

“You saw that?”

“I saw you looking at her a lot after the ice cream thing.”

You made a strange noise. “It is what it is. I don’t blame her for not saying anything. For all she knows I could be going home unscathed.”

“But you’re not.”

“Don’t worry about it, Harry. I’m not into making a scene.”

“You could’ve been seriously ill.”

“I know that.”

“If you don’t tell them they fucked up, how are they going to know to stop it from happening to someone else in the future?”

You took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. You and Harry had made progress today, on some weird level, but this was not part of that progress. “Fine. I’ll do something about it tomorrow.”

“No you won’t.”

“Leave it alone, Harry!” You finally snapped. “How I handle my health issues is none of your fucking business, especially when you haven’t got a fucking clue what it’s like to have them. Just drop it.”

His jaw ticked. “Fine.”

He disappeared up the hill and into the cabin without so much as another word.

You collapsed onto your back and let a tight sob wrack through you.

You contemplated what the fuck you were doing. This holiday had been nothing but a shit show from start to day 2 and you didn’t want to do it anymore. You should’ve gone home this morning. You’d refused to quit so early on given how long it had been since you had any real time off, but the universe was clearly working against you and you wished you hadn’t bothered.

As it always did, a second round of vomiting ensued, and you were back on your hands and knees hacking up bile while your stomach protested. You cried more as you threw up.

As the convulsions subsided you collapsed onto your back again, but the smell of it was starting to affect you. Slowly, you stood on shaky legs and attempted to make your way up to the cabin.

You hadn’t realised, but Harry was standing at the top of the hill wearing a frown, hands shoved into his pockets. When you caught sight of him you were ashamed. You knew what he’d said came from a good place, but it just really ground your gears when people who had no idea what it was like tried to tell you how to handle it.

He made his way back to you and silently placed his hand on the small of your back. It was warm and unfamiliar, but you couldn’t work out if the trembling from you was because of that or because you were just sick.

“How much more did you see?” You asked, helpless.

He gave you a startled look, like he was shocked to hear you so vulnerable. “Enough.”

You sighed and kept your gaze on the floor, trying not to fall over.

“Do you have any medication or anything?”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t really work like that.”

Once you got to the cabin you headed straight for the bathroom and changed into your pyjamas. You then poured yourself a glass of water and took it to bed with you. You were asleep within seconds.

~

You slept through the night that night. When you woke you felt a shit-ton better than you had the night before, and it left you with a smile on your face. You wriggled your legs and toes underneath the sheets and stretched your arms.

You realised the bed was empty, but when you peeled an eye open it was obvious Harry had slept on his side at some point. You sat up to an empty room. There was no sign of Harry, again.

You didn’t know much about Harry’s daily routine but you would put money on him being an early morning runner. You shivered at the thought.

He appeared whilst you were in the middle of your second round of toast. It was the only thing you could think to try and stomach after yesterday’s disaster. Harry was in regular clothes, not running attire. You owed yourself a fiver.

“Ah,” he paused at the sight of you eating toast, and limply lifted his hand. The same greasy brown paper bag rustled in his grip.

“Don’t be shy.” You patted the table after swallowing your mouthful. “I’ll still eat it.”

“You’re that hungry?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s what happens when you’re forced to empty your entire stomach contents.”

His nose wrinkled. “Right.”

You took a sip of coffee while he made himself comfortable in the seat opposite you. 

“How do you feel?”

“Well, I slept the night through and didn’t hit my head this morning which is a major improvement on yesterday.”

“That’s something. Do you feel right enough to go out?”

“If I weren’t on holiday I’d be right back to work, Harry. No rest for the wicked and all.”

“Is that a yes, then?” He cocked a brow.

“Yes, Harry.”

“Okay. I was gonna go down to the lake… it’s really warm out.”

“Are you telling me, or is that an invitation?”

He picked his pastry apart. “Both? I don’t know, it might do you some good.”

Concern? From your nemesis? This was bad. “Oh, don’t go coy on me, Harry. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Knew I shouldn’t have bothered.”

“That’s more like it.”

His mouth lifted at the corner for the shortest fraction of a second.

“Is it pebbly or sandy?”

An olive branch.

“Both?”

The worst kind of lake beach, then. “The type that calls for a special type of shoe.”

He grimaced. “I know.”

“It’s fine. We make do.” You pronounced, and stood from the table with your dirty things. “Give me 20 minutes and we’ll go.”

~

“That alright?”

You peered up at the man blocking the sun with a pinched look. He stood before you in a faded white t-shirt and board shorts, holding an ice cream cone with a single chocolate scoop on top.

“As long as it’s the right cone, it’s perfect.”

“I double checked.” He promised as he handed it to you, and then sat with his own.

This was day four on the beach by the lake. While you and Harry spent the time there together, you did your own thing. He spent most of his time in the water like a fucking fish, and you spent yours on a towel with a book and enough food to feed the 5,000.

You’d found a tolerable medium with Harry. In the day you gave each other your needed space, and at night time you tried not to touch each other in bed. Or smother each other. So far it had worked well.

You hadn’t seen Holly or your brother since that night at dinner. They’d actually been visiting for a relative’s birthday party and had already gone home, leaving you and Harry to suffer together.

“I think you’re running low on your special bread.”

You snorted and covered your mouth. ‘Special bread’ made you sound like some kind of escaped lunatic.

“I don’t know why I said it like that.” Harry shook his head. “But the fact remains.”

“We’re running low on a lot.”

“Maybe we should go shopping.”

You groaned. This is what your life had come to: grocery shopping with a celebrity.

“I’ll make it as painless as possible.”

“Where even is the nearest supermarket?”

“I don’t know - I went shopping on the way here.”

“So did I.”

Has there ever been a more ridiculous conversation?

Harry found his phone and checked for signal, soon letting out a soft sigh. “Five weeks without WiFi was a stupid idea.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

You decided to check a map on the notice board outside the public toilets on the lake site and decided there must be a supermarket in the nearest town. Harry drove you out into the Scottish countryside following his sat-nav’s directions to the closest town.

It was a little odd being in the same car as him. While your brother’s work relationship and subsequent marriage had brought him into your life for many a family gathering, you’d never found yourself in quite such a confined space as this. Apart from the bed situation. You were certain he was being quiet on your behalf, because silence was better than small talk. The decision to go shopping had proven that much.

“Unbelievable.” He muttered the second you entered the supermarket.

You followed his nervous gaze to a man with a camera doing a shitty job at hiding. “Go back to the car if you want to.”

“Hardly fair.”

“Being uncomfortable isn’t fair.” You insisted. “Go take a drive and be back here in half an hour. I don’t mind.”

He sighed and handed you the list you’d prepared before leaving. “I’ll be back.”

“Yes, please don’t use this opportunity to abandon me here.”

He smirked. “Don’t put ideas in my head.” He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his card. “Use that.”

You frowned at it, and then him in turn. “I don’t mind paying for it.”

“Pay with my card and then send me half when you find signal or internet or whatever.” He turned away, but threw, “Half an hour,” over his shoulder.

You had to take a moment to collect yourself. Now you weren’t grocery shopping with a celebrity, you were using one’s credit card.

Before you started your shopping, you had one more thing you had to do. Stalking the man who was stalking your reluctant companion was easy because he didn’t try very hard to be subtle. You tapped him on the shoulder.

He spun around with a bewildered look on his face. “Yes?”

“Delete them.”

~

True to his word, Harry returned half an hour later with a confusing smile. “Guess what I found.”

You let him take the bags out of your hands to shove them in the boot of his car. “What?”

“A fucking Costa.”

“No way…”

“Yes way.” He grinned.

“Where?”

“Literally around the corner.” He thumbed in that general direction. “I got two ‘cause I didn’t know which one you liked.”

“As long as it’s got coffee in it, I’ll consume it.”

Sure enough, two starkly different iced coffees sat in the cup holders in his central console. 

“Which one do you want?” You asked. He did buy them after all.

“I don’t mind. You choose.”

“Please pick one.”

“No.”

“Harry.”

“Fine.” He plucked one at random and started drinking as he pulled off. “Happy?”

“Yes. Thank you.” And you meant it, too.

Silence settled between you again as you slurped away at your coffee. It was comfortable this time. You put the window down and stuck your arm out to feel the breeze through your fingers.

“Do you ever wonder how we got so…”

You looked over at him with a curious expression, but he never finished his sentence. “What?”

Harry shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Oh, come on, Harry.” You poked his arm. “You’ve never been one to mince your words in front of me before. Don’t start now.”

His lips twitched with a smile, but it was quickly replaced by something else. A kind of sad contemplation. “I don’t want to ruin a rare nice day.”

Now you were the one struggling to find words. Animosity was just the default practice for you and Harry when you were around each other. After so many years of battling over often ridiculous things, he was right. This was a rare nice day. You hadn’t argued once. Come to think of it, you hadn’t argued at all since the day you were sick. That little spat on the hill was the last one.

But curiosity ate away at you. What was he going to say that had the potential to ruin your good time? Knowing Harry, it could be any number of things.

“I promise I won’t lose my shit if you tell me.”

His face lit up with amusement, but he never laughed. “Shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Right there, in that single moment, you were reminded just why the world had an obsession with the man sitting beside you. Even in the blandest setting, Harry Styles looked like the man who would promise you everything you’ve ever wanted and be able to deliver it to you. The man who held enough charisma both on and off stage for a hundred other men. The man with pretty eyes and pretty pink lips. The man who looked damn good whether he was clean-shaven or harbouring two weeks of scruff like he was now. The man who would spoil you to no end, who would give you a life of comfort and stability, who would drop everything at a second’s notice to be yours. Fuck, he looked like the man who might even die for you.

You’d seen Harry in love and the man gave his whole fucking heart and soul to the person he was with. His inherent attractiveness was just a bonus.

“Tell me, please.” You tried again.

He considered it for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. Eventually he sighed, “Do you ever wonder how things managed to get so bad? Between us?”

Ah.

A loaded question, indeed.

“Do you want the honest answer?”

He glanced your way, jaw suddenly tense. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t tend to wonder about it because I haven’t forgotten at all how we did.”

“Walk me through it.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from the most honest woman I know.”

You were biding your time, mulling over your response. Perhaps this would ruin your nice day, but this was the most open conversation the two of you were ever going to have. Not talking about it would be both a missed opportunity and a disservice to yourself.

“Okay. You’re not going to like it, though.”

“I didn’t expect to.”

You took a deep breath. “The first time I met you didn’t go at all how I expected it to. In hindsight I guess, to you, I would’ve just been a footnote. Your friends have other friends you probably meet all the time and I was just one of the next hundred. Holly and my brother had only just started dating, but Holly and I got on so well we started doing things together as friends without him. She invited me to lunch with… you know, the usual suspects.”

He nodded once, slowly. The usual suspects he wasn’t speaking to anymore for various different reasons. You didn’t keep tabs on Harry’s life by choice, but Holly and the internet provided more about it than you cared for.

“Maybe you were just young. Or maybe there was something different that I just missed or didn’t understand, but you weren’t at all like I expected you to be. Everyone - my brother, Holly, my parents -, everyone said you were amazing. ‘The nicest boy you’ll ever meet’. And sure, you were nice. Charming, even. And you had everyone’s undivided attention, including Holly’s. And mine. But Holly’s more so.

“That girl loves you. And I watched her love you up close and personal and it was amazing and beautiful and I really wanted her to give just even a portion of that love to my brother. And she did, but it didn’t come without a fight.

“I didn’t care that you spent most of that lunch ignoring everyone else at the table. Or maybe I did. I just knew that you only cared about Holly’s undivided attention and she had no quarrels giving it to you. There was a time I thought you might be secretly in love with each other,” you laughed at the reminder because it seemed stupid now, “but when I brought it up with her she laughed so hard she cried and then pretended to vomit.”

“Damn,” Harry produced an offended laugh. “Didn’t know I was that repulsive.”

“Anyway, it didn’t stop her from loving you. Never has. Soon after, I spent a week with her and my brother in Spain on some all-inclusive thing. Before you ask, I was forced to go. Being a third-wheel is absolutely not my style.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t think it sounded like you.”

You shook your head. “Not at all. Anyway, I watched Holly send constant photos, messages, gifs, any and all digital media to you while we were on that holiday, cataloguing the entire thing. I don’t think you realise how many times I heard oh Harry’s gonna love this. But what got me is you never replying to her. Not once. Her phone screen was just a sea of blue messages against a backdrop of silence. At one point I considered she’d got the wrong number, but then you texted her the day we left with something really dull and generic and I really wanted to hit you.”

“I don’t remember this at all.” He admitted, face paled.

“That doesn’t surprise me. You’re a busy man. I reminded myself of that a lot to start off with, but the whole thing became a recurring pattern. Maybe you think I’m stupid and it’s a bit of an overreaction for it, but I’m quite observant when I want to be. You’re Holly’s best friend, even if she’s not yours. Every time she says it, it’s like she’s been given the greatest gift in the entire world. And she’s such a bright, incredible person. She’s my best friend. Not just because she’s married to my brother, but because she’s the best person I’ve ever met and nothing will ever change that.

“Over the years I’ve watched countless messages and phone calls from her to you go unanswered, seen her face turn down with sadness when you don’t call her back or text out a reply. She deserves more than that. 

“I’ve noticed you do it to my brother, too. I know he works for you so maybe it’s not the same, but it’s safe to say that in their house, Harry Styles isn’t a name that lights up their phone screens very often. Ever.”

Harry fidgeted a little and cleared his throat. “All this time I thought I’d done something to you.”

“No. Worse. You continually managed to upset my best friend, even if you didn’t know it, and in turn you upset me.”

“Then I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you need to apologise to, Harry. She’ll never admit that she’s hurt by your silence because she doesn’t want to lose you. This is why we’re so very different. I don’t hang around for people who don’t appreciate the good they have in their life. I’m a good person, and Holly is an even better one. She deserves more than your attention when she’s only sat in front of you.”

“You’re right. I’m an idiot.”

“Yes you are.”

His lips twitched again. “The next time I’m in the village with signal I’ll call her. Promise.”

“Don’t promise me. Promise yourself, and her. One day she might snap and decide she doesn’t want to wait for months at a time to hear from you. Because hearing about you through my brother doesn’t count.”

“I know. I get it, I really do…”

“Good. Now, my turn.” You let out a long breath and turned in your seat. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you-,”

“You called me both insufferable and intolerable in the space of five minutes when I got here.”

“Let me finish.” He said, exasperated. “I don’t hate you, I’m scared of you.”

“Calling someone intolerable because you’re scared of them doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, let’s put it this way. While perhaps you were right, at first I thought you were just another friend of a friend who’d made an appearance for uncertain reasons, it became apparent very quickly that you weren’t going anywhere. It also became very apparent that you were not my biggest fan. That first lunch was one of a kind because you barely said a word. Every other time after that, which I now realise happened to be family-oriented, you hardly shut up.

“I’ve always noticed it. You command the attention of everyone in the room. You’re a storyteller. You could turn an anecdote about a trip to the petrol station into a fairytale. You give everyone in the room your undivided attention, and when I realised you never gave it to me, well… safe to say I was wounded. Holly talked you up to high heaven. Your brother loves you. My own mother loves you even though we don’t get on.

“There’s something about you. And the fact that the only attention you ever gave me was a dirty look or a snippy remark made me petty. So I started giving it back, and I think the more I did it, the more I lost sight of the kind of person you actually are, because I only focused on the side you showed to me.”

He turned into the driveway of the cabin, and you thought he was done. But when the engine shut off, he said one last thing.

“In one of your many little outbursts you said I’ve got a severe case of oosoom syndrome. I never bothered to look it up because I didn’t want to know what kind of idiot you thought I was, but it’s just clicked.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

He nodded and turned to you with a calm gaze. “I get it now.” He wasn’t just talking about the idiom.

“Good.”

~

The rain was back and heavier than ever. The ground surrounding the cabin was a swamp, the hill that led down to the village was indiscernible thanks to the downpour, and the day was dark and moody. Inside the cabin it was muggy and humid and you felt ridiculous sitting at the dining table in a vest and denim shorts, but you were.

Harry sitting opposite you looked more rugged than usual. His hair was pulled back with a clip, his stubble was shifting into a beard and his clothes were wrinkled.

“Hmm…” He gave an obnoxious tap on his chin.

You rolled your eyes and sunk into the seat. “Just put me out of my misery and show me your cards.”

He laughed, peering at you with a lightness in his eyes that was so unfamiliar it almost had you shell shocked. “Fine.” He placed his hand on the table showcasing his win.

It was day three of this charade. It hadn’t stopped raining and all you’d done was cycle between card games and Monopoly. He always won. You were so fed up of him winning that this was the last straw.

You stood and swiped his hand off the table so that they landed in a flurry on the wooden cabin floor. 

“Hey…” he pouted.

“That was childish of me, I’m sorry.” You groaned, and crouched down to pick them up. “I’m so bored, Harry. I think I’m going mad. We don’t even have a TV. We’re in the middle of nowhere with a pack of cards missing the Ace of Spades and Queen of Hearts and an old beat up Monopoly box with half the properties missing.”

He blinked at me. “I know this. I’ve been with you the whole time.”

“Sorry.” You muttered. “When I’m frustrated I just state the obvious.”

“But I thought that was my job.”

You rolled your head back and sighed at the ceiling. “I need to do something. Anything. I don’t want to sit in here anymore. I need air.”

“It’s pissing it down.”

“I’m aware. You have a car… just humour me for a bit. An hour tops.”

“You want me to drive you around for an hour? In a smaller space than we’re already in?”

“Okay, fine,” you sat back down in your chair and attempted to plead with the normal side of him, the non-celebrity side, “what if… when me and my brother were little and we went away with Mum and Dad, if the weather was crap like this we’d get in the car and drive to the nearest supermarket. And we’d have lunch in the cafe and then do a bit of shopping and then come back. And we’d all get one thing to bide the time before the weather got better again. Why don’t we do that?”

A smile was forming on his lips. “You want to try shopping with me again?”

“That prick and his fancy camera won’t be going back there, trust me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why, what did you do?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” You patted his hand. “Please, Harry. Rescue me from insanity.”

“Fine, but only ‘cause you asked so nicely.”

“Yay!” You stood and clapped your hands together. “I’m gonna change.”

Half an hour later you were back at the supermarket in the town over and ready to find as much new entertainment as possible.

“Do you think we should buy them a TV?” Harry contemplated aloud as he stood in front of a large flatscreen.

You gave him a scrutinous look. “And put it where?”

“Good point.” He sighed. “We’re missing Love Island.”

You barked a laugh and carried it down the aisle with you. “That is not what I expected you to mourn over.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

You found your way to the games and books. “Can we get a jigsaw puzzle?”

“Why are you asking me? Get whatever you want, mate.”

You perused the options with as much interest as a car fanatic in a vintage car garage. “Farmyard or harbour? Or circus? Or mountains?”

“Whichever will keep you occupied for the longest.” He said absently, moving down the aisle to the board games.

The circus one had the most pieces and highest level of difficulty, so you plucked the box off the shelf and followed after him. “Have they got the Game of Life?”

He started laughing but never answered you.

“Oh,” you pouted, tapping the spin-off version that was much shorter and way less entertaining.

“Bop-It?” 

“When I was little I completed that.”

He raised a brow at you. “Can you even complete Bop-It?”

“Yes,” you snatched the box off the shelf, “and I will prove it to you when we get back.”

“We’ll see about that.” He whispered, smirking. “We need an actual board game.”

You gazed over the options with the same level of interest as the jigsaws. “You choose. I’ve picked the last two.”

“Absolutely not, I’ll only pick wrong.”

“What’s your favourite?”

“Cluedo.”

“Then get Cluedo.” You pointed at it and walked away.

Two hours later and three books heavier you were back at the cabin and starting your jigsaw puzzle. You and Harry sat on your claimed sides of the table, box lid propped against the window and a selection of snacks between you.

“Where the fuck is the fourth corner?” You grumbled, digging through the box like a cat in a litter tray.

Harry glanced at the box lid, then at the jumbled selection of tiles, and plucked it out without hesitation. “There y’go.”

You blinked at him. “Is there anything you’re not good at?” You pinched it from him and placed it in the relevant corner. “Thank you.”

“A compliment and gratitude? It is a good day.”

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“I’m not very good at the splits.”

That made you laugh, right from the back of your throat. “Have you tried?”

“Many times.”

“For what purpose?”

“I had a thing for my yoga instructor once and she was convinced I could do it so I kept trying just to impress her.”

“My God, you are a sap.”

“Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“It’s nice to know you failed at something for such a pitiful reason.”

He gave you such a megawatt smile you had to look away. “I’m just like any other boy.”

“I can’t believe you had to try hard to impress anyone. It almost doesn’t seem natural.”

“You make me sound like a robot.”

“I don’t think you’re a robot. I just think sometimes things seem to come a little too easily to you. Skills. Work. Friends. Women. Probably men, too. Some of us have to try really hard to get those things.”

“You have friends. A good job. And I refuse to believe people aren’t interested in you… romantically.”

You lifted a brow at him. “Refuse?”

“Are they not?”

“Have you ever known me to be ‘romantically’ involved with anyone?”

“Yeah, that lad you took to your brother’s wedding.”

Colin.

“He’s gay.”

“Oh.” He scratched his nose. “I wondered why he kept eyeing up one of the groomsmen. Your cousin?”

“Also gay.”

“Have you never had a boyfriend?”

“Not since school, no.”

“Have you… are you… you know?”

You gave him another raised brow. “You’re not seriously asking me that.”

He rubbed his hands down his face and groaned. “I’m sorry. Ignore me.”

“Just because I haven’t had relationships, doesn’t mean I’m a virgin, Harry.”

The tips of his ears turned pink. “I think we’ve gone a bit off track here.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

He slotted a piece into place next to one of the corners. You slotted another one in after that. The pattern repeated itself, in silence, for the next twenty minutes.

“When do you go to your AirBnB?”

You met his gaze with a calm expression. “Six days. Five nights.”

“Okay.” He said as he stood. “Are you hungry enough for dinner yet?”

“If you are, we can eat.”

He gave a stiff nod. “Okay.”

~~~

Part 2

Talk to me?

[sailtomarina]

Written for Day 1 - Obliviate - of @dhrmonth, Chapter 1 of Hermione Memoria is available to read on AO3! 

Hermione Memoria Masterlist

.・゜゜・  ・゜゜・．  ｡･ﾟﾟ･  ･ﾟﾟ･｡

The first time it happened, she was at a football field.

She’d been invited by some friends to their daughter’s first home game. Hermione wasn’t usually one for sports, never had been growing up, but she’d been swept up into the excitement the longer she stayed. The book she’d brought sat forgotten in her bag.

The parents had rushed down to the field to congratulate their kid on her win, Hermione lingering behind to give the family their space. Standing on the pitch, clumps of dirt kicked up from the action, she was struck with an intense, verdant perfume. Instead of rectangular goals and painted lines, she envisioned towering hoops and blurry figures dashing across the sky at impossible speeds.

As suddenly as the images appeared, they vanished. She shook her head, blinking rapidly.

How odd.

The second time it happened, Hermione was walking through a trendy neighbourhood with a bag full of books slung over one shoulder. She’d stumbled across the area by chance, as she did from time to time, and explored the odd little shops full of even odder baubles. The people here dressed differently, too, with cloaks of all cuts and colours. She even considered picking one up for herself in a lovely shade of light purple, but changed her mind at the last second. Where would she even wear it?

She’d caught a melody in the air, a familiar warble she couldn’t place. It pulled her forward and down the street until she stood in front of a small music store.

“Who is that?” she asked the man behind the counter.

He looked at her with a bored expression. “I must be getting old if you don’t recognise Celestina Warbeck.”

“Oh, no. I wouldn’t say that,” she hurried to assure him. “I’m terrible with artist names, song titles. I just thought it sounded familiar.”

When she went home later that evening, she couldn’t find any music by one Celestina Warbeck, but maybe she’d misspelt the name, or misheard him.

The third instance occurred when she was feeling particularly vulnerable. It wasn’t often that none of her usual passions caught her interest. She was generally a happy person. But, there were those rare moments, like now, that staring at her bookshelf elicited none of the usual joyful anticipation, drinking coffee failed to satisfy the odd ache in her chest, and waking up from a nap only resulted in a greater headache than she had before lying down.

Her footsteps led her out the front door. If solitude didn’t work, then maybe the company of strangers would snap her out of whatever funk this was.

She paused in front of her favourite pottery shop. It had been some time since she’d last perused their wares, and it was her firm belief that one could never own enough mugs.

“Hermione?”

The voice lilted pleasantly on the ear, not-quite British, but close. Scottish, perhaps? The woman to whom it belonged stared at her wide-eyed, like she’d seen a ghost. A pang of unease pulsed through Hermoine at the familiarity of that look and use of her name. This woman obviously recognised her, but she couldn’t say the same.

“Yes? Do I know you?”

She carefully took in straight, black hair that shone like silk and almond-shaped eyes in a lovely chocolate brown. Those eyes fluttered across Hermione’s figure.

“It’s Cho, from school. Don’t you recognise me?”

Hermione strained to remember her classmates. Her English boarding school days had been idyllic, but she hadn’t thought back to that part of her life in some time. Images and snippets of conversation flitted rapidly by, but not once did she pick out Cho. “I’m sorry, I really don’t. I didn’t really maintain any connections from Wycombe. I’m flattered you remember me, though!”

Cho jerked her head back, like she’d heard something upsetting. Her back, too, stiffened. “Wycombe,” she repeated.

Hermione thought she must have missed something. “Yes…you said you knew me from school, didn’t you? Or were you referring to Oxford?”

The woman looked Hermione over once more, eyes narrowing, lips twisting.

What is her problem?

She finally seemed to make up her mind as she sighed, her dark eyes now softened into an expression Hermione wasn’t sure how to read. “No, you were right. I’m just surprised you don’t remember, is all.”

Hermione felt terrible. She knew her memory was spotty from time to time, but to forget someone who obviously knew her seemed particularly egregious. At the same time, a small part of her resented the woman for her own growing guilt. Maybe there was a good reason why Hermione had forgotten all about her.

As if reading the change in the air, Cho stepped back with a tight smile.

“It was nice seeing you again, Hermione. I’ll let you get on your way.” She left before Hermione could think of how to respond.

.・゜゜・  ・゜゜・．  ｡･ﾟﾟ･  ･ﾟﾟ･｡

When he got the message, Draco could only sit and stare blankly at the words.

Hermione was alive.

Harry’s letter didn’t say much, but he did extend an invite to join him on his trip as long as Draco could control himself.

His jaw clenched at the reproach. Control, as if Draco were incapable of subtlety. As if he hadn’t torn the country apart trying to find her, to search for any clue as to where she might have gone and why. There’d been no warning beforehand. One day, she kissed him like she always did before heading to work, and then the next, she was gone.

At first he’d been convinced someone had abducted her. Hermione had no shortage of enemies from both before and after the war. There were still inmates in Azkaban who cursed her name and promised to make her pay the moment they escaped. Then there were the remaining blood purists who publicly decried her rising popularity as an activist and politician.

Someone else had done this. He was sure of it.

But the longer he looked for answers and the more people he talked to, the greater the voice that demanded she’d up and left of her own volition fought to be heard. And who could blame her? The Ministry continued to fight progress, and her relationship with Draco inspired countless articles that described her as a hypocrite.

“Try not to be obvious. We’ll see how she reacts before saying anything,” Harry said, fixing Draco with a stern look.

He scoffed, annoyed the man thought him so incapable. “Tell yourself that.”

Harry hummed, though his eyes betrayed his scepticism.

Their portkey landed them just around the corner from the pottery shop where she’d been sighted. According to Cho, Hermione was completely ignorant of her magic. There’d been no wand in sight, none of the telltale markers of a witch, nor the wariness someone who’d gone through a war as she had would have at meeting a seeming stranger.

Chances were low that she’d make a reappearance at the same location, but they stationed themselves in a cafe along the same route. It was the sort of spot Hermione of the past would have adored–all brick exterior, hand-carved tables, overstuffed chairs, and earthen mugs big enough to require two hands.

They sat by the window, but at the far end so they could watch both the street and entrance without being immediately noticed.

They didn’t have to wait long.

Draco noticed her first. That in itself was expected–he used to be tuned in to every move she made. The slightest change of expression, the emotion in a single sigh.

He nudged his partner, and they watched as the curly-haired woman they both loved pulled the door open and walked up to chat with the employee like she’d been here a million times before. She probably had.

The moment she made her order, she turned to find a seat. Draco tensed as her eyes scanned the room. She used to pick him out of a crowd like an invisible string connected their souls, though she’d always joked there was no way he could hide his head of hair when he pointed out the skill.

Unseeing eyes passed over them before she chose a seat only two away from theirs, and Draco felt despair all over again.

She hadn’t recognised them.

She didn’t know him.

Chapters: 1/9 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Cho Chang Additional Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Not Beta Read, Obliviate | Memory Charm (Harry Potter), Mystery, Suspense, Eventual Romance, POV Hermione Granger, POV Draco Malfoy, Confused Hermione Granger, Pining Draco Malfoy, Protective Draco Malfoy Summary:

Hermione leads a happy life, one full of friends, books, and all the unique coffee mugs she can find. There are moments, however, where she's struck by a sharp sensation of remembering...something.

Or, perhaps, someone.

[blue2black]

COD incorrect quotes, but their from TikToks I saw and are now buried somewhere deep in my likes:

PART 1

—————————

*in an Uber*

Soap: And I find out that my parents are like, related.

Gaz: Like, their siblings?

Soap: Yeah like, blood siblings.

Gaz: Is that why you walk weird?

—————————

Soap, walking up to Ghost with a camera: Cheese!

Ghost: What is this? 🤨

Soap: I really think I can’t treat you anymore.

Soap: The fact is…

Soap: I’m in love with you. 😍

Ghost: The fu-?? 😨

—————————

Graves: Come on sweetheart, give us a smile.

Graves: Geez Louise, must be on your period. HA HA HA!

Valeria: …

Valeria: Let me drive a seven ton semi-truck over your torso and I’ll be smiling throughout my entire prison sentence.

—————————

Gaz: Nik is so old fashioned.

Laswell: Oh, really?

Gaz: Nik is so old fashioned that he doesn’t even watch TV.

Gaz: Like, when he wants to kick back and unwind he just goes on long fishing trips with Price.

Gaz: And Nik doesn’t listen to any new music, he just listens to a bunch of metal mixtapes that Price sends him.

Laswell: Wait, John sends Nik metal mixtapes?

Gaz: Nik is so old fashioned that he really struggles showing affection.

Gaz: Like, he rarely hugs me or anyone of that matter.

Gaz: One time I thought I saw him and you holding hands underneath a table from afar, but then I got closer and I saw it was just him and Price.

Laswell: Nik and John were holding hands underneath a table? (.-_.^)

Gaz: Well, yeah, but it really more like a good old fashioned handshake. You know? Like, the prolonged kind where two old school guys don’t let go of each other’s hands while sitting side by side listening to a briefing.

Laswell: Kyle…are Nik and John dating?

Gaz: What? No, Nik isn’t dating Price!

Gaz: Most of the time when Nik and Price hang out, they just get in fist fights with each other.

Laswell: They get in fist fights??

Gaz: Yeah, I can not tell you the number of times I’ve overheard Nik and Price go into an office, lock the door and just fist fight each other.

Gaz: I mean, the halls positively echo with the sound of flesh smacking up against flesh, furniture bumping against the walls…

Gaz: And not for nothing, but I think old fashioned Nik is winning pretty much every one of fights based on how loud I hear Price moaning-

Laswell, getting up: OKAY-

(Gaz knew what was going on, he was just fucking with her like the lil shit he is.)

—————————

Price: I just don’t wanna see you get hurt, okay?

Price: Those people up there can kill you!

Price: I know you think you’re tough, Farah, but you are fucking 5 feet tall!

Farah: I AM 5 FOOT 5! 😡

—————————

Laswell, getting ready to order food: Alright, what do you want?

Soap: Hamburger.

Laswell, parroting: Hamburger.

Soap: Chips.

Laswell: Chips.

Soap: Fart.

Laswell: Fart.

Laswell: 👏🏻 SOAP. 🤬

Soap: HEHEHEHEHE *evil Scottish giggle*

—————————

Valeria, dressed up: Okay, how do I look?

Diego: Like a woman about to go forth in sin.

Valeria: Oh, good. Exactly the look I was hoping for. 😉

—————————

—TEXT—

Scottish Bastard: hey

Scottish Bastard: ghost

Scottish Bastard: HELLOOO

Scottish Bastard: simon?!?!

Scottish Bastard: are you there??

Scottish Bastard: ………

Scottish Bastard: just imagine

Scottish Bastard: you and me

Scottish Bastard: in a room

Scottish Bastard: with nothing on

Scottish Bastard: OILED UP

Scottish Bastard: and ready to mingle

You: What the fuck are you on about?

Scottish Bastard: now that i have your attention

Scottish Bastard: i have an idea >:]

—————————

Soap and Price, waiting for exfil: ….

Soap: …

Soap: Last night I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup, and you were mustard.

Soap: Which is weird, because usually you’re mayonnaise in my dreams.

Price: 🤨???

Soap: Why do you suppose that is?

—————————

Ghost: When I die…

Ghost: ✨Viking funeral✨

Ghost, handing Gaz a gun: You shoot the shot.

Gaz, cocking the gun: Okay.

Ghost: If you miss, you kill yourself.

Gaz: Wait, what- 😨

—————————

*in an Uber pt 2*

Soap: Well, I’m shocked—of course.

Gaz: This is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

Soap: I mean, that’s dramatic.

Gaz: No, it’s not dramatic! Your parents are-

Soap: That’s dramatic!

Soap: Listen…I was shocked at first.

Gaz: At first??

Gaz: You’re not shocked still??? (ಠ_ಠ)

—————————

(Nik being the cool dad to everybody in 141)

Nik, answering his ringing phone: Hello?

Norris: Hello, sir, I'm the Colonel working for Captain John Price. I have Sergeant MacTavish in my office.

Nik: Okay, what did he do? 🙄

*Norris looks at Soap*

Soap: 😢

Norris: *sighs* He punched another solider in the genitals.

Norris: Three times.

Nik: OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST SAY GENITALS? HAHAHA-

Norris, listening to Nik laughing his ass off through the phone: THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY-

Norris: *looks at Soap*

Soap: *smiling proudly*

Nik: OH MY GOD, he is so funny! 😆

—————————

Ghost: Don't touch me, Soap!

Laswell: Can you guys like, stop having relationship issues while I'm trying to hack into their security?