#he never had a best friend before and it’s this precious thing. it’s...they both didnt acknowledge they were friends until they weren’t

[neoivy1]

OKOK I have an idea

Yk there's a headcanon about kaiser growing up in a poor village so I thought about reader who was his childhood friend and offered him a football that he treasured even after he left for bastard munchen (the blue rose tattoos reminds him of reader since it's their fav rose) and then after years he saw reader again!!

Can you please write about it? Thanks xoxo

okay so for this one i also had another anon requesting childhood angst , so i decided maybe change this up to yknow do both requests

"Micha! Your too fast" yelled the small child as they descended down the hillside of the village park. Ecstatic laughter rang from the boy whom they were chasing as he stopped at what seemed to be blue roses.

The roses shined under the sunlight and gave a radiant glow , next to the other tulips ,daisies and violets.They reminded the boy of his friend , they were breathtaking compared to others of his hometown and with their kind heart , it was as if to Michael ,only they mattered.

Y/n had always loved the same roses Michael admired , for her they symbolised her unspoken passion for the boy with blonde hair and sapphire orbs.

"What do you mean your leaving?" The h/c asked desperately , as she was given news of his plans to leave their poverty filled village .

"Plan to make it to the big league "was the answer she got .The boy had said this with a lazy smile as if he didnt care for her , for their friendship ,for the time they spent together. "No what about us?!you can't leave like that !"their lungs erupted,if looks could kill , y/n was sure they'd have been charged for murder by now. They couldn't believe it , the man they had given so much of their time to was just gonna leave them in the dust like that .

Before the boy had a chance to respond to his best friends screams , they had ran off , now them being the one to leave him in the dust.

its funny , he thought .Who thought that he would be at his childhood house ,years later searching for the thing that he felt completed him .'Foolish' he wasn't a puzzle , he didn't need completion. Wrong . he saw it , dusty and out of air but it was still there , the object that started the spark of passion that eventually grew into fire within him. A ball. Not just any , but one you had gifted , on it were doodles of a small rose , a blue one.

ahh , he remembers it , the rose he compared you to as children , how long has it been. four years , five . He had stopped counting. Oh the guilt he felt for leaving ate him , but he never admitted it .Why would he , Michael Kaiser ever admit to something like that. Such nonsense.

Once again he was wrong ,he thought as he sat there putting up a facade of strength while getting his neck drawn on .It hurt , but it hurt less than the fury you most likely held for him after he left. The rose that was being tattooed on him symbolised you , the thorns , your story and how it ended before you began. he called it the tale of

....his precious rose.

a/n:guys remember requests are open<333333

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for locking an ex-friend out of a long-time gaming account?

[Context]

I (F16) had a friend, who we'll call V (F30s). We met on an online chat game, with the main focus being decorating rooms and playing mini-games with other players. She had been playing for well over ten years at that point, while I was still pretty new (about a year or two, in comparison). I had a pretty large friend group on that game, and when I met her, I kind of brought her into this group.

Several months (6+ ish) later, the group and I decided to create a knock-off room of some of the most popular rooms on the server. We had mostly all met in these popular rooms and just wanted one of our own for the friend group and others like us. This was largely my idea, along with my best friend, R (16M). R contributed the most in terms of financial support, and we both took on designing the room. Everyone else pitched in ideas, but were largely unhelpful in the grand scheme of things. V was the most unhelpful, as she would get pissy about small things that didnt go her way, even when she wasn't contributing to the creation of this room.

Eventually, the room was completed how R and I wanted it, with some input from the others. V did a 180 and was soooo happy with how everything turned out. Everything was back to normal with her.

Now, our room was not successful. We did not end up one of the popular ones. While a little disappointing, it was fine because we were still hanging out with our friends and having fun. About a month or two in, I got a message from R telling me to log on quick, bc the room was in disarray.

I logged in and people were telling me V had trashed it (all of us in the main group had complete access to the room, so could make changes as needed). While it wasn't "trashed" per se, it was a mess and it did take me a couple hours to fix everything.

Friends filled me in and told me V had apparently been secretly making her own room (another knock-off like ours, but worse) with a guy who had said some disgusting things about me, and several friends joined her in tarnishing ours before leaving to be with her.

This was an utter betrayal as I loved them all and had trusted them with something R and I worked very hard on for all of us. There was never any indication that V was unhappy with anything, as we spoke every day and she was always saying how much she loved our group and how we were definitely gonna be the most successful eventually and blah blah. I mean, I recognized that she was just saying what I wanted to hear, but still. I thought of her like a big sister.

[End Context]

A few days went by, and R and I were talking about everything that had happened. I was finally over the shock, and I was just angry. R said he wished there were some way we could get back at her. I remembered that V had given me her password months prior for an event she couldn't complete, and I had logged in and done it for her. I told him that she said it was the only password she'd ever used, since she was young, and I bet she hadn't changed it.

I was wrong, she HAD changed it, but she had also given me her email for the login information, so I tried the password on her email. I got in. So I changed her game password through her email and logged in.

She had been online, but this game would kick you off if someone else logged in while you were online, so I knew I had precious little time before she'd change the password back and I'd be kicked off.

So I went into her room, mass-banned everyone in there (including some of my former friends, one was the gross guy I hated), destroyed the room as much as possible, and then privated it so no one could enter (idk why I didn't just delete the room, wasn't thinking clearly ig). I then typed in as many censored words as I could so the auto-filter would flag her and get her account suspended.

Her account DID get suspended (and the game team was notorious for having the worst support ever. Once your account was suspended/banned, you almost never got it back), and I was auto-logged out. I logged back into my personal account, and R and I freaked out, just super giddy. V used an alt account to confront us, and ofc we denied having any involvement, but laughed at her anyways.

She did eventually (a month or two later) get her main account back, but before that she had lost all of her stuff, so she couldn't reopen her room. I was pretty satisfied with this, but some of the former friends who sided with her told me it had taken a toll on her mental health. I told them that all of their betrayals had taken a toll on MY mental health, so why should I be bothered, especially when I hadn't DONE anything (wink).

All in all, I felt justified, and she did eventually get her main account back, and I stopped playing not too long after that, but I'd still like to know what other people think.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[simplygyuu]

Teddy Bear - 28 : its like the rain on a foggy day

*⁀➷synopsis ! : on your birthday one of your best friends, soobin, gifts you an adorable teddy bear. you keep it all day once he gave it to you, carrying the adorable thing around for your entire birthday day and going to sleep with it that night. the next morning you wake up with.. a man in the place of your precious bear?! he doesn't have a name and he looks at you like you hung all the stars and.. did he just say he WAS the bear?

wc (1.5k)

Your heart was racing as you made your way over to Lily's as quickly as you could. As soon as she sent you the address you had rushed to get on a pair of shoes and to call an uber. You didn't enjoy paying to be driven somewhere, but Beomgyu needed you and there was no way in hell you were going to walk.

The entirety of your time in the backseat was filled with silence, you weren't even playing on your phone. What was going through Beomgyus' mind right now? Did he think you hated him? Was Lily able to somewhat comfort him? In the back of your mind there was also the part of you that was scolding yourself for how you judged Lily in the beginning. She was a sweet girl and seemed to care for Beomgyu deeply.

“We've arrived, miss.” The driver's voice cut the silence and jostled you out of your thoughts. Quickly you handed him the money before climbing out of the backseat. Shooting Lily a quick text you approached the front door, not wanting to show up completely unannounced.

For a few moments you just stood in front of the door before you heard the lock slowly click open and saw Lily peek her head out. She looked just like she had in the photo Beomgyu retweeted.

“Oh, finally youre here.” She sighed as she opened the door wider so you could come inside. “Come in, please. He won't come out of the guest bedroom. I dont know what to do he's getting snappy with me.”

Your brows furrowed at the news but nodded along with what she said. Beomgyu was being short-tempered? That was new for him. Youve never even seen him angry before, not even seriously annoyed.

“Thank you for contacting me. I was so worried.” You expressed your gratitude while quickly toeing off your shoes. Lily just smiled at you with a nod before pointing at which door was the guest bedroom.

“Its no problem, I was worried about him.” Lily replied kindly. “Cmon lets go see him…”

Lily led you to a door–the guest bedroom, you assumed–before knocking gently. There was silence for a long stretch of time before Lily sent you a look. Then, she knocked once again.

“Beomgyu?” Lily spoke hesitantly, “...Yn is here to fix things, cant you let us in? Or just her?” Silence stretched out once again and you expected Lily to begin speaking again before finally, Beomgyu piped up from behind the door.

“You invited her here? Seriously?” Beomgyu sounded angry. It was a different kind of thing to hear on him, it didnt seem right. Not to mention a subtle scratch to his voice, had he been crying that badly?

“You know its for the best. You two live together, she wouldve come sooner or later.” Lily pushed.

“I dont care!” Beomgyu exclaimed, voice raised. “Why would you fucking invite her over after what just happened? Do you like seeing me sad? Is that something fun for you?”

Lily then seemed to shrink in on herself a bit, averting her gaze even if Beomgyu wasn't actually looking at her. You heart ached for the both of them. It was obvious Beomgyu didnt know how to handle all these new emotions and it must've transferred into anger. Perhaps some sort of defense mechanism.

“Beomgyu, let me in please. Can we talk about this? You're misunderstanding the whole situation.” You finally spoke up, gesturing for Lily to go ahead and leave to the living room. But the girl just motioned towards the front door before leaving. You didnt know why she was leaving, but she was already out the door.

“What am I misunderstanding, hm? The fact that you dont like me? That I just ruined our entire friendship?” He countered, not even sounding like he made a move towards the door. “God, I've ruined everything…” You then heard him mumble in a much quieter voice, a sniffle soon following after.

“Beomgyu, please. You are misunderstanding. Let me explain, let me in.” You continued to push him, voice staying leveled and calm. He was being hostile with everyone so far, but you couldn't blame him. He was on the defense after getting his feelings hurt so badly.

Silence stretched on once again and honestly you were getting ready to resign yourself to the floor and wait for him to come out. But finally, you heard a faint rustling behind the door before the click of a lock sounded through the silent house. Then, the door creaked open slowly as you looked over to see only half of Beomgyus' face.

His eyes were red and puffy, he had obviously been crying pretty heavily. His cheeks and nose were still tinted red as well, so he must've been crying no more than a few minutes ago. He stared you down with a weak glare before stepping away from the door but not closing it, just resigning himself back to the comfort of the bed.

Quietly you walked into the room, closing the door behind you. For a second you contemplated, looking at where Beomgyu had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed so he could face away from you. His shoulders were hunched, like he was trying to make himself smaller. Your heart clenched, he must feel horrible.

“I know you're upset, rightfully so, but at least hear me out.” You sat down on the bed, facing him but he kept his gaze averted. He didn't make any move to tell you to leave or stop, so you assumed you could continue.

“I like you too, Beomgyu. Shit, I've liked you for a while now,” You finally admitted and watched him tense up, “I'm sorry for not saying something sooner. You must've thought I didn't reciprocate.. I'm sorry. I was shocked. I didn't think you would ever like me, especially since I was under the impression of you and Lily dating.”

“You….you like me too? Are you being serious? This isn't a funny joke, yn..” Beomgyu choked out quietly, turning to finally face you. He looked so hopeful, eyes wide.

“I'm being 100% serious, Gyu. You know I wouldn't make a mean joke like that.” You reached forward to slowly take one of his hands in your hold, giving him time to move away if he wanted to. But instead of moving away, a slight smile spread across his face as he practically attacked you with a hug.

“Oh thank god! I-I was so worried and, and I thought I ruined ev-everything” He suddenly was crying once again, hiccuping between his words as he hugged you tightly. You couldn't help but smile a bit, rubbing his back.

“I was supposed to be the one f-flirting but now I'm crying on you… Junnie hyung is gonna laugh…” Beomgyu then whined, rubbing his head against your shoulder out of embarrassment. You chuckled at his words, snorting a bit before cupping his cheeks with your hands and bringing his head up to look at you.

“Ignore whatever he says, he's just jealous now that you have a girlfriend.” You watched his eyes widen once again before a bright smile spread across his wet face. Even though he was a little snotty and his eyes were red, he was still cute to you.

“Yn.. can I kiss you?” He asked after a few moments of you two just looking at each other. His hands rested on your legs, a small close lipped smile on his face. “Its my first time, but-”

“Shush, Gyu. Just kiss me already.”

Beomgyu smiled before leaning in to connect your lips together. It was a gentle thing, soft and in no rush. His hands trailed up from their place on your leg until one held your waist and the other rested on your cheek. There were no sparks, no fireworks booming over the two of you like in the movies, but it was warm and comforting. It was like the rain on a foggy day, drinking hot chocolate after being in the cold outside, cuddling up under a warm blanket. It was perfect for the two of you. With a small smile into Beomgyus mouth you pulled back a bit, barely an inch away from each other.

“Ahh~” He whined, tugging you gently by your waist. “One more.”

You giggled with him, his face mirroring your smile as you connected each other's lips once again. You melted against each other, an overwhelming sense of comfort filling you. It felt so right, being with him like this. God you had waited for what felt like ages, even if it was only a month, almost two.

“Gyu..” You started, resting your forehead against his, “ As much as I like this, we shouldn't make out in Lily's guest bedroom..” Your words made Beomgyu snort, his almost silent laugh bubbling up as he nodded. You made a fair point.

“Let's go home then. We can finish up our movie night.” He had a smile on his face as he replied, almost glowing with happiness despite the dried tears on his face.

If you two snuck a few more kisses while waiting for the uber then well, who was there to see it anyways? It could be your little secret.

the end :)

--------------------------------------------------------------previous ! masterlist ! bonus !

notes ! : andddd thats a wrap! i genuinely cannot believe teddy bear is over already.. i really really loved making this! and the love and support it got was so so overwhelming and kind and such a good introduction for me to the tumblr community :) thank you all so so so much for taking the time to read this silly story of mine, i love you all <33 on that note, i do plan on writing maybe a bonus or two later!! i'll continue to write here on tumblr let it be requests from you all or little drabbles ive thought up and who knows, maybe ill set up another smau! thank u all again for making this such a good experience :)

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[i-simp-for-fictional-people]

"Well, if you wont do it, i will"

It was a rather boring day at RAD, all you did was go to your classes, but after they ended you were bored out of your mind.

So, logically, the next step is to go annoy your best friend Mammon.

You head over to his room but he is nowhere to be found. "Hm, thats odd, hes usually always in his room" you think to yourself before walking over to any brother that you could find to ask about the wherabouts of Mammon.

Fortunatly, the first person you run into happens to be Lucifer. 'Great, he'll definetly know where he is'.

You greet him and immedietly ask about his brother.

"Hey Luci, do you happen to know where Mammon is? He wasnt in his room and didnt really announce he was going anywhere like he usually does.."

"Hello there, MC. Im not quite sure where he is , though i did hear him murmuring something about going to get a... gift for someone? I'll be sure to notify you if i see him" he answers calmly, though, inside he was panicking as to where his brother is.

"Ok... bye Luci"

You quickly head back to your room and lay on your bed.

Thats weird.. a gift? For who? Who was he willing to spend his precious money on? Did he find someone? You find yourself pooling your brain with questions. You wouldnt want to admit it, but you had a big fat crush on mammon. For a long time, too!

Just as you try to gather your thoughts, the door of your room bursts open. And, low and behold, its Mammon. Holding... a gift bag?

"Ay! Human! Get over here!" You hear his familiar voice which makes you smile

"I got'cha something~!!" You bolted up at the words. Not nessiserily becouse you wanted only the gift , but becouse he got you a gift.

You walk over to him and start lecturing him about how you were worried and how he didnt tell you where he was going untill- you felt his lips crash against yours

You were in shock

Mammon? Kissing you? Oh, boy, this is your dream come true-

After he pulled away you started blushing, a lot.

"Eheh... sorry i left without saying anything, human.. can you accapt this as an apology?" He scrathed the back of his neck. You stood there for a bit, trying to comprehend what just happened.

Suddenly, a wave of confidence washed over you. Where you got it from is never to be known.

"I will... only if you give me one more~"

Did you just say that???

Before you could think, his lips crashed against your again. It felt like heaven. You melted into the kiss, hoping that the feeling would never end.

He pulled away for air and smiled sheepishly. God you loved that smile.

"So... about that thing i bought for ya-" he takes the gift bag and pulls out a jacket. No, not just any jacked, one that matched his. "Now we can match!"

You smiled like an idiot at him "yaaaaay!!!!"

He matched your energy, returning a yay in response.

Out of nowhere, he pulled you into a tight hug and dropped down on the bed with you. You giggled at the act "and just what are you doing, huh?" You look up at him while asking the question. He simply giggles in response and kisses you again, but this time it was different. It was sweeter.

You simply lay there, enjoying eachothers presense and hugging. You decided to finnaly ask the question.

"...so, are we a thing now?"

"If you wanna be"

"I wanna be"

There was a small silence, but not in an akward way, no, in a comfortable way.

"So can we cuddle then?" He asks you, giving you his famous puppy eyes . You reply with a small giggle and peck on the forehead. "Of course"

Before you know it, you're both asleep. In the morning, you wake up still trapped by him. You notice hes still asleep and take this as a chance to appretiate his relaxed fetures.

All of a sudden, the thought of kissing him to wake him up comes to mind.

You blush at the mere thought of it, but you manage to muster to courage to do so.

Just as you lean in closer, only a few centimetars away from his face, you stop and hesitate.

You mustv'e hesitated for longer then you thought becouse soon, he opened his eyes and blinked at you a few times. After a few seconds he notices what you were trying to do.

"Y'know, if you wont do it, i will"

[blue-straeh]

[11:11 pm] - yang jungwon

genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint

author's note: this is my first ever work! its not great, but i'll try to improve :) (a lot of scenes are very cringey but i tried my best)

hope you enjoy!<3

word count: 0.9k. it turned out a little longer than i hoped but here it goes!

-------------------------------------------------------

"yang jungwon! how could you?!" you yell exasperated as you come down the flight of stairs just to see your boyfriend jungwon sprawled out on the living room couch after coming back from his schedule.

the look on his face showing that he already knew what this was about.

he smiled sheepishly as he replied, "what's wrong babe?"

"what do you mean what's wrong? you just stole my favourite blue hoodie!" y/n replied, trying to ignore the nickname he used because you were currently mad at him.

"first of all, its my hoodie that you stole a month ago and secondly, its just in the laundry after i wore it for a walk" said jungwon as he ended the sentence with a shrug.

"why would you put my precious hoodie along with all the dirty clothes?" y/n sighed, ignoring the first part of his sentence and then slightly glared at the boy.

" 'cause it was dirty after i used it too? " jungwon answered which came out more as a question as he was unsure of what to say.

the truth is, you loved that hoodie, not just because it was his, but because he wore that hoodie on your very first date to the bakery.

being a gentleman that he is, he had given you that hoodie at the end of the day, because you were cold and shivering. you had gladly accepted it.

and even though it might be a little silly, but you still think that that hoodie smelled like the bakery you visited with him along with his scent. that hoodie was the thing that calmed and comforted you when he was not there in person and away for long because of his schedule.

and now you look up at your same lovely boyfriend who put your hoodie(well actually his) in the laundry without telling you once and ridding the piece of cloth of the smell that once comforted you.

"why would you wear that hoodie out of all the ones you own? that one was special" you said softly, all the anger dissisapating and now just feeling sad.

"i'm sorry baby. when i left your house yesterday night, it was cold and that was the first warm piece of clothing i saw of mine so i just wore it" he said apologetically, now feeling bad that he made you upset.

he thought about what you said and asked again with a curious frown, "why is that hoodie special though?"

you tried to control your blush and tried to search for intelligible words in your head, searching for an excuse to not make his ego bigger by letting him know just how smitten you are for him.

too late.

he smirked looking at your nervous thinking face and said, "it's not because it was the hoodie i wore on our first date, was it?"

you sighed, thinking its better to just come out clean, because he will figure you out anyways.

one thing you both know for sure is, jungwon knows you like the back of his hand after all.

he always did. because you both were friends for a while before going out.

"well that, and also because we had gone to the bakery that day and i thought it smelled just like that place. it helped me calm down whenever i missed you too much.." you mumbled qnd trailed off at the end, hoping he didnt hear you clearly.

but taking in account your close proximity on the living room couch, that didnt happen.

he just smiled genuinely right at you, feeling grateful and loved that even his hoodie meant so much for you.

but on second thought, it did boost his ego as you expected it too.

because you could see his smile changing into something more smug and now you were thinking of rushing to your bedroom upstairs to still pretend to be mad at him, though you know it would not last, because you certainly can never stay mad at jungwon for long (who can honestly).

as you stood up to leave, he stood too and grabbed your arm and turned you around to him, holding you in place by wrapping his arms around your waist.

he looked at you and said with a smile, "i'm sorry. i didnt realize that hoodie meant so much to you. i will give you as many hoodies of mine as you want."

you pouted at him and said slowly, "its okay. its just that wont smell the same as that one"

his smile widened at your pout and he gently pecked you.

you were slightly startled and tried to frown so that you dont give the oncoming smile away, seeing you frown he said, "did you not like it?"

before you could say anything, he went on ahead and said, " you can return it then. "

he went on ahead to even pout and you could not fight the blush anymore and kissed him softly.

you both pulled away moments later and he said, "did you really not like the first kiss though?"

"ofcourse, i liked it idiot. you are just so cute i had to kiss you a second time too" you replied grinning slightly.

at this jungwon's ears turned slightly red and you were proud at this turn of events.

then breaking the small peaceful silence that had settled on, he said with a happy glint in his eyes, " i have my day off tomorrow. what do you say about us visiting that bakery we went to on our first date while i wear my same blue hoodie?"

" i would love that " you said gleefully.

" now then lets go to bed and cuddle. i missed you the whole day at work today " said jungwon, holding your hand and leading you to the upstairs bedroom.

" i missed you too " you said as you squeezed his hand tighter.

you both cuddled together and went to sleep, as both of you waited for the next day to come excitedly.

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the end.

author's note: as i said, its my first work and i know its lacking, but i still hope you enjoyed the story atleast a little!

feedback is always appreciated :)

please leave a like and reblog if you liked the story, it means a lot♡

follow me for more stories like this!

[voyeuristicvixen]

Captns Log No. 38_Here’s a lil story all about how...

My life got flipped turned upside dowwwwn, lemme take a minute just sit right there I will tell you how I lost everything in a town called SL! XD LMAO

Yes yall, I and Waverino Amor divorced. *Sad violins* We have had such a great time together, a great run. He means a lot to me and I always wish and pray for the best for him. We lived together in RL yall, we did the thing! But we tried to force circumstances too soon before we were truly ready. We prayed together, we got the relationship therapy apps on our phones, we communicated EVERYTHING clearly... but at the end of the day none of that matters if the timing is not right. I would not change a thing, we had such a blast and we are truly best friends I still talk to him everyday. We explored so much of ourselves with each other and that is something I will forever be grateful for.

He joined SL to be closer to me, he moved in with me to be closer to me. I am eternally grateful for that love, and companionship. It is what I desperately needed at that time, I am still greiving the passing of my Godfather who was a dad to me, he raised me and I never got closure about his death.

Being with Wav was a trauma bond to be completely transparent. I was terrified of what I would do to myself, with to much isolation. I needed that feeling of love, and companionship and the hope that I could create my own new family dynamic and build something with him.

Writing this post is helping me release a lot of pent up feelings I haven’t allowed myself to really grieve because we both have been stuck in survival mode. IT WILL LITERALLY RUIN RELATIONSHIPS. When you are stuck on the responsibilities of maintaining financial stability and at the same time healing your inner wounds and triggers being mirrored by an incredible person in your environment that you desperately want family with. It is so much pressure. We had to take a step back to give back to ourselves as individuals.

I do not regret that decision, but I do miss him and the feeling of security in love that came with being together. Sometimes it feels like, well if you at least have love or someone with you then you feel like you have some sense of control over your life when everything else isn’t balanced. But  that quickly comes to a head and can only be maintained for so long if individuals do not have full focus and alignment with their purpose for themselves separate from their partner. Now we are leveling up in incredible ways and I couldn’t be more proud of us. Its not what looks good on the outside that matters.

Our last moments together on SL were so precious to me, he really made my Rez day special, because I didn’t have anyone else on the grid to celebrate me. He took me to the ocean, we explored this marine center and it was really sweet.

It was during Ramadan too, so we were serving high fashion Muslim lovers to a T. I didnt change out of that outfit till like yesterday, I wore that same fit for a whole month after that date. My heart </3.

These  last few pics are literally the last times we hung out on the grid, he was already living with me and we would just be sitting right next to each other smoking weed lol.

& we’re both total nerds so I did not have to force him to go to the Harry Potter sim at all! LMAO

I carried A LOT of responsibility and burdens in this relationship but its taught me to advocate for myself and to have a higher sense of self respect. Things got to a point where verbally we were abusive and my RL space was disrespected. We always will attract the love we feel we deserve, this showed me where I wasnt showing up for myself, where I wasnt honoring myself, and how I was disrespecting myself. Because no one else will if you dont show them that its okay by doing it to yourself. He came to my space and reflected exactly how I felt about myself and my environment and I needed that wake up call.

I hope that this log will help someone else out there who feels like they need companionship or love in order to heal from trauma. Connection and community is a big aspect of healing but we have to be more vigilant with our own energy and healing and showing up for ourselves FIRST AND FOREMOST. We can overextend ourselves with energy we don’t even have trying to force healing outcomes that our spirit and souls and emotional bodies are not  truly ready for.

I see now how I was being controlling and stubborn with my perspective of what would be best for us both. I saw the potential of our greatness together and worked tirelessly to forge this path out for us against all that was being shown to me by spirit even if it meant ignoring my intuition and gut feelings in the process.

 Moving forward I am slowly getting back on the grid, I allowed my rentals to close out and I’m back on nomad timing, like the OG Foxey days. I am excited for whats to come though. I still got tons of ideas and I’m ready to play and just create and give to myself everything I seek in others.

*Lol as I finish this blog post he just texted me “Grand rising! I pray you’re doing well today. We must move forward always” I love that man. <3

[daylighteclipsed]

Very cool how the last chunk of Naruto season 5 got me weeping like a baby

[kkusuka]

Haikyuu kinks setter eddition <33

here is the ace eddition 

here is the Middle blocker version

Includes: Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru, Sugawara Koshi, Atsumu Miya, Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjiro, Kanji Koganegawa, Akaashi Keji, Kenma Kozume,  Yahaba Shigeru and  Keishin Ukai

Cw: pet play, degradation, humiliation, cock warming, cuckolding, bare baking, public sex, photography,   (those are the more serious one, every thing else should be fine <3) 

and here we go!

oh he is so pretty

Kageyama Tobio

Oral

It goes both ways too

He could append the rest of his life in between your thighs and that’s that

But that would mean missing the slice of heaven you give him when you go down on him

And he doesn't think he could live without that, you're just that good 

Little secret for you : he will literally be putty in your hands if you suck his balls, it will literally send him into outer space 

Vanilla sex

NOT IN THE BAD WAY

HE LIKES IT FOR A GOOD REASON

DON’T KILL ME

He just likes to be in love with you 

It's his awkward version of love making, but he’ll burn up if you call it that

Just looking you in the eyes and softly thrusting in you 

Holding your hand 

Soft kisses and whispers of love 

AWWW he’s so soft for you.

Cockwarming 

This is really only foe when he wants to have sex

But also wants to watch old tapes of volleyball games

Normally tricks you into it, he’ll say he wants to fuck on the couch, y’all start to do it and he just stops gets you on his lap and watches

You don't like that too much

But when he harshly thrusts up everytime you whine telling you he won't let you cu for a week

Then you start to behave

But no worries he’ll eventually let you grind on him like whore, and he’ll play with your nipples until you've came

Your still not moving tho

Sensory deprivation 

This is a control tactic 

He goes all you for this

When he wants control he gets it 

The most common thing when this side of Kags comes out is having you kneel on the floor

Well kneeling with your legs tied in the position, your arms tied behind your back

with earmuffs and a blindfold

With a vibrator torturing your poor hole. 

Oh! And either a spider gag or a ball gag!

It's just you and never ending pleasure until he wants to indulge <3

(look at him walking, he does it so well) 

Oikawa Tooru

Public sex & Humiliation

Specifically riding 

Sitting you on his lap and pretending nothing is going on, while he’s really 8 inches deep

He’ll make you reach down and folder his ball to help HIM get off, for you? Well i guess you’ll just have to bounce a bit now wont you!

Knowing that to everyone else you two just look like a regular couple enjoying a bowl of ramen makes him love defiling you in public even more. 

Aw. Are you embarrassed? You can’t be that ashamed if your fucking yourself on me

You never know how far he will take it either

One time when you were at dinner with Tooru and some of his friends, he had sat you in his lap and spread your legs for them to see

You were so embarrassed, even more when he started cooing in your ear about how much of a show whore you were

You couldn't look his friends in theirs eyes for a few hours

Gangbangs/ Cuckolding 

You already know he believes in sharing is caring!

And he sure knows how to share!

You're just too perfect to not share with Makki, Mattsun, and Iwa!

And have you seen his friends, you’d like to give it a try

And he practically begged you to do it, and you can't deny a pretty boys puppy dog eyes

No one can deny the puppy dog  eyes

He never thought anything could beat the feeling of being on the court, but seeing you trying to fit Mattun in your weeping hole and deepthroating iwa may just do the trick

Watching his friends fuck you may just be his favorite pass time

Cum eating 

H e  i s  a  w h o r e 

He tries to tell you it's to make you “clean” 

Yup, he sucks all of his friends cum out of you to make sure you're all his. 

Oh! Sometimes Iwa will cum in your mouth and make Tooru make out with you until all the cum is gone between the two of you!

Praise 

This is practically in all aspects of life

But when hes fucking you he wants to hear how amazing he’s making you feel

Yeah, his dick hits that perfect spot doesn't it? 

He wants to hear it

He wants to hear EVERYTHING 

His hips feel good against your thighs? Say it and loudly too!

Sugawara Koshi

Slight pet play

He really just wants someone to take care of

And what better way to do that then have his puppy by his side. 

And it keeps him grounded

He’ll be all frustrated then he just looks at you

On your knees looking back up at him

And all of a sudden everything is ok again. 

Body worship 

Mostly from him to you

He just thinks you are so perfect

Sometimes he just wants you to stirp so he can spend hours just exploring your body

He’ll lay you down and just tell you how beautiful you are over and over

When he’s in a caring mood everything he does will be accompanied with a sweet compliment 

Just let him do his thing <3

Caregiver 

We saw this coming 

Suga-momma will do anything for you

Had a bad day, ok he’ll let you use his cock to get off

You’ll feel better. 

But, this is everyday life too

He sometimes helps dress you up.

He packs your lunch for work,  always with a little note expressing his love for you

He just loves to know that you are comfortable and that you feel loved by him all the time. 

Slight medical / doctor 

I just feel like he wants you to be “healthy” 

He’ll have a whole set up too

He’ll strap your legs up and “examine” his baby

And once he is sure all is well, 

He’ll just fuck you then and there

if only he were real

Atsumu Miya

Dirty talk / Degradation 

This is literally cannon-

He calls you all the names in to book

The favorite? He can't bring himself to choose 

They all have different tones!

He does like to use “Cocksleve” more than often!

If you didnt know any better you would truly believe that he only thinks of you as a hole to fuck. 

“ yes, clench just like that Cum-rag, you're too good at this”

“God, you’re hole loves my cock, i should just keep you here and fuck you or the rest of your life, leave you dripping in my cum all day and night” 

He just LOVES doing this act

"Are you my slut?"

"Yes"

"Tell me you're my slut"

"I'm your slut"

"Say it again"

"I'm your slut"

He could live just hearing that everyday (not really but he says it to show how happy he is-) 

Overstimulation  

A built in ego boost

He loves seeing you messy and  begging

He doesn't even listen to what you're begging. More? Stop? 

Yeah well he doesn't listen anyway, he’ll do it until he wants to stop

Just hold your legs up, let him see your slutty hole and let him work

He’ll make you feel good, he always does :)

Dacryphilia  

You just look so goddamn pretty

He literally makes you cry to get to comfort you

As in comfort i mean fuck you to sleep

He doesn't do it that often but he always makes it worth it when he does

Is it bad that he likes to have you sob on his dick?

He’s not a monster tho!

Your consent is key!

(we stan a king) 

Pet play 

Puppy

He has a full leash for you

But when he feel especially cold he makes you eat on the floor 

And out of a bowl :(

But only when he’s in a seriously bad mood, but just having you listen to him so weak makes him feel so much better!

Just let him indulge in this, it makes him feel better that he’s in control 

Extra little thing for tsumu

He records you two 

He doesn't even bother to put them in a hidden folder either

They are just in between all the regular pictures

AND he screenshots your  your nudes, prints some of them out and tapes them to his wall

Samu thinks you look very nice :)

he his the meaning of pretty

Akaashi Keji

Toys 

He loves to have you rides dildo in front of him

Or he’ll have a bullet vibrator in you while grocery shopping.

He plugs you up anytime he’s not in you. 

You can bet that if he’s not fucking you you're either fucking yourself, or being fucked by a little machine

And there is a method to his madness

But he will never tell you

He does all of this to see you, he likes to watch you and all your faces

You just look so adorable clenching your eyes shut and blabbering about nothing 

He just like basking in your beauty  

Oh he is so precious (and so are you) 

Light bondage 

He really only does this to show control

He can't let you get too full of yourself now

You’re still all his.

And he’ll put you in your place any second

He gives you control, and you need to play by the rules

If not. He’ll just tie you up and not look at you for as long as he see fits

You should’ve just listened to him

Cockwarming  

Akaashi is constantly working!

Sometimes he just wants you near him when he gets his work done

You’re also a calming factor to him

Sometimes he get so stressed and can only respond to it by thrusting into you a few times and kissing hickeys into your neck

But after the first time, he fell in love with it!

Watching a movie? 

He wants to be in you

But he’ll hug you close and press you against him, and he’ll cuddle into you

You guys have even fallen asleep while doing it

(oh to fall asleep while cockwarming Akaashi) 

Cuckolding  

Again, he works so much

And sometimes he just doesn’t have the energy to fuck you :(

Well thankfully, he has a best friend who is always very pent up and ready to fuck!

He could tell you weren't sure at first but after him reassuring it was fine and being non-stop fucked for 3 hours by a professional volleyball player

He could tell you liked it. 

So, when he feels like he won't make you feel as good as he can, Bokuto is already on the phone walking out of his apartment!

like a little potted plant

Kenma Kozume

Cockwarming 

Gamer boy wants you as close to you for as long as possible. 

Sometimes he resents that he streams because he can't have you on his dick

You also help to manage his game ginger

When you're there he doesn't yell as much or throw is controller 

Instead he places the remote down, he takes a deep breath and hugs you

He’s like a cat when he gets like this

He’ll be nestled in your neck- practically purring

Before continuing his game.. 

Cuckolding 

In simple terms 

He likes watching Kuroo fuck you

Like he REALLY likes seeing Kuroo dick you down

We all know he’s not the confrontational type, so when you’re being bad, his only opinion is to call his best friend

He cat tell you like it too because you take any chance you can to act up

But he always makes sure they you know your all his before the end of the night. 

Photography 

Being someone whose life revolves around social media 

It is absolutely no surprise that he likes to have visal pieces of you to take with him wherever he goes. 

 He specifically likes mirror nudes, with those cat ear thigh highs that he got you.

You remember one time he went on a trip to another city and asked you to send him some stuff

And in return he sent a little video of him jacking off, and thus it became a tradition every time you were away from the other. 

Slight Pet play

Mostly leashes collars and pet names. 

he does not take it that far,but he likes to know his kitten listens to him.  

The worst it got was when he put a dog leash on you and walked you around the apartment when Kuroo was over

You did receive the teasing of your life but good kittens don't speak

And you oh so desperately wanted to be a good Kitten for Kenma. 

tounge

Semi Eita

Under the influence 

You and I both know this man smokes-

And smoking just happens to make him horny

Like really horny

And if you're there next to him he’s not gonna jack off??

You guys have sex almost every time he smoke

And when you smoke? 

Oh he just cant help himself, you look so pretty eyes glazed over 

He’ll make you say so so much better. 

Recording

He has a folder on his computer

And another on his phone

And all saved to his cloud

Of what? 

Videos of you fucking

And a select few of sucking his dick

And what does he do with all of these? 

He watches them, sometimes with you in the room

Like you too are hanging out and suddenly he’s on his computer watching you bounce on his dick. 

Nudes

Clearly he likes to have you naked on a screen somewhere

And when he’s in public he can't exactly start watching homemade porn

so , he has a solution!

Make you send as many nudes as you can before he has to go out!

He has no shame for it either

One of your more “artistic” photos became his lockscreen

Which you begged him to remove considering his bandmates had begun to make comments about it. 

Hair pulling 

He does it all the time

And he does it  so hard too

Every time he hits from behind

His hand is on your head and already pulling 

Or when you suck him off

I'll pull your hair up, then push your whole head back down 

And repeat. 

oh my god i am in love with him

Shirabu Kenjiro

Degradation 

This man has a mouth

And a mean one 

AND a killer attitude

And he spares you none of that. 

He ridicules and demands, dehumanizes, and you love it

“Admit you’re just a whore, getting off on being a hole. Disgusting” 

Over the weekends, why you have nothing to do, he makes you stay around the house completely naked 

“You're flaunting all you have like a prostitute, that's what you want right? O be used like a street whore?” 

He’s just a mean guy :p

Humiliation

It just makes sense at this point

He really likes to makes you take off your panties when you wear skirts in public

Then he likes to have you bend down and grab things for him

Or 

He’ll have you sit, man spreading, but the catch is there is a huge hole in your pants, so anyone at the right angle can see everything. 

Of course none of this goes without witty comments and insults from bang boy. 

Bondage 

He loves having you weak in front of him

It’s a total power trip for him

Like everything the two of you do, it consist of you being a good whore and him being a big ole meanie

He’ll leave you tied up for hours with a fuck machine pounding your poor hole

Or hell have you with a spider gag in and he’ll make you grind into the floor

He’ll laugh at you 

Record you and he’s even sent videos of youtube some of his old teammates

This one time, he had you tied up to your bedpost and just left, he walked out of the room and you didn't even know how long it was until he came back. 

Pet play

You were mouthing off to him? Oh no they won't do

He pretty much uses it as leverage against you

Good pets so mouth off do they? 

No? What I thought.

Its a form of punishment mostly

Keeping you kneeling on the floor below him for hours while he studies

He makes you eat down there

And he’ll pet your head, but if you even think about leaning into it, he’ll stop 

He’s so mean :(

bird boiiiii

Kanji Koganegawa

Pegging 

He’s a baby

A pretty baby, that anyone would like a chance to ruin. 

He probably didn't even know what is was and still agreed, but no he begs for it

And who are you to deny your baby? 

It was kinda hard at first considering he was so big, but you managed, and are very good at making him cum, like really really good. 

Hand kink 

He really just likes to see how much bigger his hands are 

He’ll grab your handd and thread your fingers together, your hands are just so soft, opposite of his

He also likes to stick his fingers in your mouth and likes when he gets to suck on yours. 

Ddlb / Dmlb

There is no explanation other then he’s baby

And he needs to be taken care of, before he dose something stupid 

And you love taking care of your overgrown baby :)

He’s all smiley and cute when you do!

How could you resist? 

his grandpa is hotter but whatever 

you didnt see that.

Keishin Ukai

Public sex

In his store 

On the counter

Five Minutes before closing time 

It cannon

It's the risk factor for him, anyone can just walk in and see you fall apart on his cock

It's actually happened before, Shin wanted to do it and you agreed but didn't expect Takeda to waltz in and look directly at you. 

Yeah he immediately came then shoved you onto the floor to hide you from Ittetsu’s prying eyes

Daichi has also heard the two of you fucking in the gym storage closet, but chose not to say anything. 

Barebacking

It's like a primal urge to him

Condoms are annoying ang time consuming, you guys are gonna be together anyways might as well let him fill you like a good fuck toy

When he cums in you he also doesn't let you clean it out

He makes you stand there, face three inches away from your core, and watches his cum drip from you

Condoms won't let him do that, will they?

Humiliation

I mean he’s into fucking you in public, so this is pretty much a must at this point

He puts you in these positions so you have no choice but to be embarrassed

I mean what kind of slut like getting fucked in plain sight?

When you go out with him he makes you wear all these ridiculous outfits that practically show everything

And he makes fun of you when they look! 

Pornography 

Yes as in homemade porn

Why would he keep you all to himself?

Everyone deserves to experience that

And people love you!

If the thousands of comments and requests say anything about it!

oh to do that to Maddog

Yahaba Shigeru

Choking 

We all saw the scene with Maddog 

Come on, he’ll do that to anyone

I feel like he just likes seeing his hands around your neck. 

He likes how fail you are and how is ands just wrap around your neck

He knows where to squeeze too

He’ll hold your pressure point to the pint you think your gonna pass out

Light BDSM

Nothing to crazy, he likes having you tied up and ready that's all

Maybe eagle spread on the bed?

Or hell have you kneeling next to him, arms tied behind your back mouth ready and opened

The possibilities are endless

Fingering 

He likes his hands- 

But it's mostly about you

Seeing your hole up close

It sucking his fingers, like a good hole should

Plus he has better control with his fingers, so he hits all the good spots over and over until yout crying <3

[maizumis]

— HAIKYUU BOYS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, iwaizumi hajime

note: female reader ‼️ watch me write about dad!haikyuu all the moments I didn't have with my own sperm donor

MIYA ATSUMU after a long day at work, you were coming home a little more late than usual and as you were opening the door with a sigh, the first thing you listen is “PEASANT, DO NOT TOUCH THE QWEEN CWON”, yeah that’s definitely your daughter and your pretty sure that the “peasant” is your, oh so-called husband. Curiosity took the best of you, now you were behind your daughter’s door listen carefully what atsumu was saying to her, “WHATYA MEANT PEASANT? I WANNA WEAR A CROWN TOO YA KNOW!” your daughter gasps in disbelieve, “daddy, mom is da queen, I’m da princess and yer the peasant! And clearly, mommy isn’t here so don’t touch her cwon!” One thing you know is that you wouldn’t like to see and hear a screaming match between the peasant and the princess in question, thinking that stepping in is the best option, you said “what’s the matter in here?”, next thing you know, your daughter with his big brown eyes that she got from her father, comes running at you, screaming “momm- I mean queen! Yeah, queen! yer just on time for the tea party, this peasant needs to learn some manners” you picked her up, enjoying the way her little arms go around your neck, “yeah? What did dada do this time?” while her face is on your neck, she tells you with a whisper “psss mom, he is not dad now, remember is tea party time” and now with her voice a little more loud she announces to you what he did “he wanted to use ya cwon!  Literally had to scream at him cause of that! Peoples this time are onbelivabol” the las part coming with a sigh, “ugh I now right? Why don’t we teach him some manners then?” After a little thinking, your daughter tells you “uh-huh! Yer right my queen, now I will leave to the bathroom and come back to continue this celebration”. While she leaves, atsumu comes at you with a back hug asking if ya really taking her side? with a low tone, so you replied with “of course I’m taking her side, she’s a child, our child in fact” atsumu looks at you with big eyes and tells you “she is right, people these times are onbelivabol but I still love you my queen”, now facing him, noses and foreheads touching each other you whisper to him “I love you to my peasant” and after a little chuckle you continue “thank you so much for this”.

 BOKUTO KOUTAROU he always had tea parties with his daughter on Mondays after his volleyball practice with the MSBY. He couldn’t go to last week's party because of an away game, and he was devasted and promised her little princess that he would get her something. Now he is coming home from the airport with three Elsa dresses, one for his precious child, the other for his precious wife, and the last one for him, it was very difficult to find one of his size cause of his beefy body, but if he promises his little girl something, he is gonna make it without a doubt. “HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHOS HOME” he screams while putting his suitcase down “HEY HEY HEY DADDY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! MOMMY IS MAKING DINNER WHILE I PREPARED OUR SUPER DUPER EXTRA TEA PARTY!!” he picks her up with one arm, making his way to the kitchen to involve you in a hug with the arm he had free “we missed you, kou” snuggling into his neck, and while his arm tightens around you he replies with a soft tone “missed my two girls too, so much” he puts her daughter on the floor again and tells her “missy I have a surprise for our tea party, why don’t you finish the preparations and then mom and I are gonna go there with dinner? Sounds good?” whit a little nod she answers with “yeah dada, that sounds good”. After hearing her enter her room you ask your husband what did he get for her, and when he tells you he didn’t get one, not two but three princess dresses you’re over the moon, the fuck you’re going to do with three dresses? you don’t question him and keep cooking as if you wouldn’t have to put on a frozen show in less than half an hour. “BABY IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM WITH HOT FOOD, BE CAREFULL” the little girl sees you in all your glory, with the most beautiful Elsa dress she ever saw “MAMA, WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME ELSA LET YOU BORROW HER DRESS? YOU'RE SO PWETTY!” laughing a little at her comment you decide that it was the best to tell her is a secret between adults, excited to see her reaction when her dad comes to her room with the same dress on him and a little one for her. “IM COMING IN!” your husband yells and your daughter’s eyes are the bigger you ever saw them, running like the flash to steal the dress that was in his dad's hands. “Daddy, that dress is so pwetty on you, and there's one for me! We are all matching! And now we are gonna have our four curse, ugh no, cruse, ump corse, mommy how do I say it?”, “course darling, four meal course. Now dada, why don’t you come to eat with us this fancy dinner?” after nodding and making his way to the both of you, bokuto thinks he is gonna ask for another kid one of these days.

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

---------------------------------------------

In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

---------------------------------------------

So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

---------------------------------------------

Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

---------------------------------------------

If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

---------------------------------------------

Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

---------------------------------------------

Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[heyitsyn]

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

so

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend 

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that 

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you 

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now? 

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience 

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes 

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

[simplygyuu]

Teddy Bear - 26 : i don't like lily, i like you!

*⁀➷synopsis ! : on your birthday one of your best friends, soobin, gifts you an adorable teddy bear. you keep it all day once he gave it to you, carrying the adorable thing around for your entire birthday day and going to sleep with it that night. the next morning you wake up with.. a man in the place of your precious bear?! he doesn't have a name and he looks at you like you hung all the stars and.. did he just say he WAS the bear?

wc : (1.0k)

Beomgyu couldnt help his continued glances in your direction, he was worried and well could you really blame him? You'd never been so distant and after his talk with Lily he was even more nervous. Have you really misunderstood? He never meant for it to seem that way after all. But how could he bring it up to you?

So for the rest of the movie Beomgyu sat there quietly, giving you the space you seemed to want as he tried to come up with a plan. He isnt very good with emotions or serious talks but it was understandable, he's only had about two, maybe three months to even get used to having true emotions. So he didnt really know how to approach tbe topic.

Should he just jump in and say, ‘Do you think i'm dating Lily?’ or would that be too blunt? Should he frame it as a question, like he doesn't know what you may be upset about? Something along the lines of ‘Did I do something wrong?’ and then he could just hope and pray that you'd be truthful? It was hard to choose, both seemed bad.

“I'm going to bed, ‘kay?” Forced him out of his thoughts and he snapped his head towards you as you began to stand up. He needed to be quick before you left, hed lose his mind if he dwelled over this any longer.

“Wait!” Beomgyu exclaimed, a bit too loudly which caused you to stop and face him. “Are you like.. mad at me? Or upset?” He decided on asking, not thinking of much in the moment besides keeping you here to talk. Maybe he was seeing things, but it almost looked like your eyes softened a bit at his question.

“No, what made you think that?” You asked, moving to sit back down on the couch. No matter how much you were overthinking and how jealous you felt, Beomgyu still came first. If you thought he seemed upset then you would drop everything to comfort him.

“It's just.. uh.. you've been more distant recently.” Beomgyu explained hesitantly, fiddling with his fingers as he sent a quick glance your way before looking down. His nervous fidgeting was a bit endearing. “Is it like.. because I've been hanging out with Lily too much? Does it seem like I'm replacing you?”

Beomgyus beginnings of a ramble caused your eyes to widen just a bit. How could he already pinpoint the cause in your change of attitude? What now? Was he going to get mad at you for being jealous of his girlfriend? No. That wouldn't happen, Beomgyu seems more nervous than upset now.

“Me and Lily.. were just friends, yknow? You're much more important to me.” Beomgyu continued on softly, “If.. if it makes you feel better I could stop seeing her so often. Would that help? Would you stop being distant if I did that?”

And if you said that didn't make you feel horrible, you'd really be lying. Did Beomgyu really feel that bad about all of this to the point of him sacrificing his friendship(?)/relationship(?) for you? You could never ask him to do that, especially since you could tell how close he was with Lily. It made you feel like some possessive, over controlling partner and the two of you weren't even dating!

“No, no Beomgyu dont do that. Just.. keep doing what you're doing. You like her, don't you? It'll work out if you keep it up.” You forced out a small smile as you spoke, even if each word pained you to say. You wanted him to be happy even if it meant being with Lily.

“But I don't like her, yn. I swear I don't.” Beomgyu argued back softly, frowning.

“No need to pretend, Beom. I see how you two act, it's normal!” You continued despite his protest. Maybe he was just shy about it since it's his first crush after all.

“No, yn you don't understand! I don't like Lily, I like you!” Beomgyu suddenly exclaimed louder than before, seeming almost fed up with how you kept dismissing him.

As soon as the words left Beomgyus mouth, he knew he had fucked up. He's heard all of the stories, all the people who tell their best friends they like them before everything is ruined because of it. Even Soobin mentioned it having happened with an old friend of his. Beomgyu didn't want you twos relationship to be ruined, that's the last thing he ever wanted! Yet here he was, big mouth blurting out everything.

What if you were so weirded out, so uncomfortable that you kicked him out? Where would he stay? How would he even function without you? You're all he's ever known as sad as it may sound. He's almost like a small duckling, imprinting on the first thing it sees which happened to be you.

You had yet to respond, sitting there in silent disbelief. Beomgyu really liked you? He actually reciprocated your feelings? You were struggling to process the information, especially after preparing yourself for the heartbreak of him having a girlfriend. Unfortunately, Beomgyu took your silence the wrong way. Quickly he stood and grabbed his phone, scurrying over to the front door. That seemed to snap you out of your trance.

“Wait, Gyu!” You called out, also standing but before you reached him he was out the door. Eyes wide you ran over to follow him out, it was way too late for him to be outside alone. Where would he even go? But by the time you opened the door he was gone and it was much too dark to see anything.

“Shit… shit, shit, shit.” You muttered, anxiety skyrocketing. It wouldn't be smart to just run after him in this dark late at night, especially not as a woman. He was a tall guy who managed to look intimidating if he tried, he could handle himself, you told yourself for some semblance of comfort.

Instead, you hesitantly closed the door again before running over to pick up your phone. Maybe the others would know where he was going, he'd have to at least tell them. Right?

--------------------------------------------------------------

previous ! masterlist ! next !

notes ! : theres only one or two chapters of teddy bear left now... </3

taglist ! : @lynnfv @openingssequence @wonioml @lunaavity @sunarintoes @bluebearybeom @invusblog @forever-in-the-sky2 @woncheecks @captivq @i8lhee @tatanbin @rynryn2 @qluvrv @wccycc @f4iryho0n @fancy-whitedwarf @totallynotbella @n0-thisispatrick @aeulia @zaeeeee @jungwon-kitten @sserafimez @lynanist @mazeinthemoon @valentinurz @zoe8stay @thisisnotjacinta @lonewolfjinji @moavill97 @yuhjoeyuh @nagyaons @rikismiel @luvmeatballs4ever @beomgyubeomgyu @beomomb @enhyjin @jwnghyuns @tae-ology @luvdokja @sweetpoetrypersona @squiishymeow @ddenoudepression @moonlight-at-nighttime @asters-abditory @fatoompie @ikaeryn @jayyyynieeee @chuuinggummy @nnniika @iluvvkkh @koeuh @fanfangying1304 @90steele @edenfray @fallenstar11 @reveworld @mywonie

taglist is now closed! <3

[darkblueboxs]

The Words that Cut

AKA "nine times Andrew was called pretty and hated it + one time he didnt"

Read here or on AO3

Summary:            

“I used to think it would have been easier,” Andrew says. The words cost him more than Neil can know, but Bee says it’s important to get better at these things. If he wants to keep Neil, anyway. “If I looked different.”

There's a lot he leaves out of that sentence.

“Just look at him! Isn’t he precious?!” The stranger’s hand comes out of nowhere, pinching Andrew’s cheek and tugging. Be on your best behaviour, his case worker had warned him. And maybe this time it’ll stick. Andrew isn’t sure he wants it to. He keeps his gaze fixed on his scuffed sneakers, shoelaces trailing because he still hasn’t gotten the hang of the knots. Until the hand pinching his face forces him to look up.

“And gosh, look at those eyes!” The latest in Andrew’s never-ending line of foster parents doesn’t look so different from the rest. Her face is too close, and Andrew can smell her breath when she speaks, sharply tinged with tobacco. He wrinkles his nose, and she frowns. “Now, now, none of that. We don’t want to spoil that pretty little face, do we?” And she punctuates the question with another hard pinch to his cheek. Andrew bares his teeth, and she smiles. “Much better. Don’t you look beautiful!”

Then Andrew sinks his teeth into her hand, and she starts to scream instead.

*

…and this is Andrew! He’s going to be staying with us for a while. You’ll make sure your new foster brother feels very welcome, won’t you? Now both of you stand together, I want to take a photograph of my two handsome boys…

*

Andrew’s hook-up tucks himself back into his grey prison-standard joggers, panting heavily.

“Fuck,” he says, which just about sums it up.

Andrew wipes his hand off, keeping his eyes fixed on the grey expanse of wall behind the other boy’s head.

“That was hot,” he continues, as though Andrew cares. He got what he wanted from the encounter: now all he wants to be is alone.

“Go away.”

He flicks a significant look downwards, smirking. “C’mon, you really want me to leave you like this?”

Andrew grabs him by the neck and shoves him back against the wall, forcing his gaze away from his body. “I said go away.”

Instead of showing any sign of fear, his pupils dilate as he leans into the pressure of Andrew’s hand around his neck. “Fuck, you’re hot.” He reaches for Andrew, and Andrew’s mind goes black with rage.

He does not lay a hand on Andrew again.

*

“Look. Over there, by the lockers. No, no, don’t make it obvious!”

“No way! He looks just like Aaron. But also kind of cuter?”

“Are you crazy? They have the same face!”

“Yeah, but he’s got like, a bad-boy mystique. You heard he just got out of prison, right? Think he has a girlfriend yet?”

“Ew, Tracy.”

“Ask him for me. Please? I’ll do your math homework for the rest of the week.”

A girl with curly brown hair and freckles appears at Andrew’s shoulder as he slams his locker shut.

“My friend thinks you’re cute.”

Andrew doesn’t even bother with a perfunctory glance in the girl’s direction. “Your friend can fuck off.”

She looks affronted for all of a second before her lips curl downwards. “Whatever, jackass.”

Andrew isn’t quite out of earshot by the time she returns to her friend.

“Forget about it, Tracy. His brother is hotter anyway.”

Andrew’s hands clench into fists of their own accord. When they try to approach Aaron after practice, Andrew makes it clear what happens to anyone who shows interest in his brother.

*

Andrew hears his cousin’s screams before he even rounds the corner to see him splayed on the cobblestones, his nightclub attire torn and muddied with boot prints. Men circle him like vultures, teeth bared, eyes shining with mad hunger. Andrew has seen that look before too many times. Nicky’s attackers smirk as Andrew approaches, but the slouch of their shoulders says they don’t see him as a threat. It’s the last mistake they’ll ever make.

“Andrew, run,” Nicky says, words thickened by puffy, bleeding lips. His face has been beaten so badly it’s not even clear where the blood is coming from.

One of the men laughs. “Who is this, your boyfriend? Come on, baby, we can make you look just as pretty as your bitch over there.”

Andrew steps forward, knife in hand.

*

“Huh,” says Nicky on Andrew’s first night home with meds swirling through his system. “You actually have a really cute smile, Andrew.”

Grinning, Andrew puts his fist through a wall, and nothing more is said on the matter.

*

“The Foxes’ deadliest investment.” The journalist thrusts a microphone so close to Andrew’s face he practically inhales it. “And certainly one of their cutest! Andrew Minyard, do you have anything to say to your growing legion of fans? I’m sure all the girls want a piece of you, and I can’t say I blame them!”

Andrew bares his teeth. False laughter bubbles up within him, and he clenches his jaw to keep it in his throat. “How do my fans feel about disembowelment?”

The journalist is less eager to take his picture after that.

*

“C’mon, Renee, you can tell us. Are you really just fighting down there? Or are you getting another kind of action, if you catch my drift?”

“Allison…”

“Don’t answer her, Renee, she’s just trying to win her bet.”

“Can’t I just be interested? I mean, can you imagine it? I mean, sure, Minyard’s pretty in his own psychotic way, but the height. It’s gotta be an issue, right? Unless you’re really into small-”

“ALLISON!”

Andrew knocks at the door, saving his ears from any more of their gossiping. “Renee.”

“Coming!” Renee picks up her water bottle, relief washing her features while Dan and Allison choke on their laughter behind her.

*

Hello, handsome, says an impossible voice at his ear. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Oh, Luther, Andrew thinks as the bottle collides with the side of his head. I’m going to kill you.

*

He catches Neil poking at his scars in the bathroom mirror, digging his fingers into the darkened patches hard enough to scratch half-moons into the healing skin. His eyes meet Andrew’s in the reflection. All Andrew has to do is raise an eyebrow, and it’s as though Neil hears the question before he even has to formulate it.

“They’re distinctive,” he says by way of an answer.

“So?”

“Not exactly anonymous,” Neil huffs.

Andrew steps forward until he is lined up along Neil’s back, glaring at his reflection over his shoulder. “You have no need for anonymity.”

“I know,” Neil says, still glaring at his reflection. “And I’m glad I don’t look like my father anymore, but…”

“Vanity doesn’t suit you, Josten.”

Neil sighs. “Easy for you to say.”

Andrew’s hands, which have come to rest on Neil’s waist, stop. He wills them not to clench. “What does that mean?”

The tips of Neil’s ears redden. “You know.”

“I don’t.”

“I mean, it’s not like you have anything to worry about. Not when you’re so-”

“No.” There’s no inflection in his tone, but Neil hears the urgency anyway.

“Did I say something wrong?”

Andrew lets his hands fall back to his sides, flexing the tremors from them.

“I used to think it would have been easier,” Andrew says. The words cost him more than Neil can know, but Bee says it’s important to get better at these things. If he wants to keep Neil, anyway. “If I looked different.”

There’s a lot he leaves out of that sentence. The burning after-effect of hands pinching his cheeks, pretty boy, pretty boy, pretty boy, over and over like a mantra that dug itself into his chest and festered there. The days where even the prickle of someone’s eyes on him made him want to vomit. The nights he considered turning the blades on his face instead of his arms in the hope of making himself too ugly to stomach.

He doesn’t say it, but the subtle shift in Neil’s gaze says that he doesn’t have to.

“Probably not,” Neil says. It isn’t offered as a consolation – Neil knows better where Andrew is concerned – but from understanding. “It’s never because of us. It’s because of them.”

Andrew leans into Neil once more, letting his chin come to rest on his shoulder. Their eyes meet in the reflection. “Probably not,” Andrew echoes, and Neil’s lips twitch. Something that has been tied up in Andrew’s chest for far too long pulls and untangles. “Distinctive isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Neil’s lips twitch again, the movement blossoming into a lobsided half-smile that does terrible things to Andrew’s self-control. “Are you calling me pretty?”

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.”

“Oh.” Neil leans his head to the side so that it bumps against Andrew’s. “Well. You too.”

And, because it’s here and now and most importantly Neil, this time the words don’t cut. Andrew swallows them with a curt nod and leans into the kiss that follows, and everything that comes after. *

[yakocchi]

2021 Anniversary Event Ministories // Count

this post contains 2 ministories: the 4th Anniversary Collection Event (Loved So Much, I Go Breathless) and the 2021 Election Collection Event (Deep Night)

o hey it’s me why did i sandwich two honestly-unrelated stories? bc i can!! actually it’s bc i feel lame when i post too much. which goes against how you’re supposed to use tumblr…. but no one ever said i was good at this

anyway, they serve similar purposes. The Election Event is supposed to be a sort of Anniversary Event, while the..… Anniversary Event is named that. the Count did not!! have a scenario Anniversary Event this year (that was apparently reserved for the top 6. sad but makes sense) so yea, make do w/ this

The Election Story is an AU where the characters are hosts of a host club. which…. not my thing but w/e, maybe some of u like that stuff The Anniversary Event on the other hand is supposed to be in-line with canon. results in corny SHIET but i like corny shiet. like the vlad one has them buying mugs (? thats a thing in the 19th century, corny mug shit? #1 best vampire mug? bruh)

in event chronology, the anni event was way before the election one but i put the election one first here cuz it’s longer (bc i included the prologue)

Spoilers under the cut!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*)

Deep Night // Prologue + Count

⋆ didnt screenie anything for the prologue cuz LAZY. just imagine the dumb black shirts they made some poor intern edit on photoshop, thats p much it

…

One city night, the year 20XX—

[Kara]: “Survived another week of hard work, me… haah,” (I finally have the day off tomorrow. It’ll be okay if I let loose a bit tonight, right?) When I was worn out from the monotony of everyday life, I would head over to a certain place for comfort and thrills. And that establishment was—

[Napoleon]: “Welcome to Club Deep Night.”

[Arthur]: “Ah, it’s Kara. You came to see me, right? ‘Been waiting.” [Isaac]: “Hold up, Arthur; she doesn’t come here just to see you, no?” [Dazai]: “Ooh, Isaac; a Host’s jealousy isn’t pretty, you know?” [Dazai]: “Well then, Toshiko-san; Your pick tonight— Wha – is me? No, no, it’s an honor. This will be a night of blinding sensuality very soon—"

[Isaac]: “She hasn’t picked anyone and you’re already going full steam ahead. —And her name isn’t Toshiko.” [Arthur]: “Right, right; Don’t hang with some guy who can’t your name right, Kara— My princess.”

As soon as I entered the club, a smile appeared on my face as a battle of charms began in front of me.

[Napoleon]: “Sheesh… every last one of these rascals are thrilled. Sorry that they’re being so noisy.” [Kara]: “No, no! Whenever I come here, it’s fun and even perks me up.” [Vincent]: “Really? If I’m to be the source of your high spirits, then I’ll make it even livelier in here.” [Vincent]: “I’ll build the champagne tower, and prepare the call!” [Theodorus]: “Hey, Hondje— Hurry and pour the champagne. It’ll be to give gratitude to the angel that’s landed on this city tonight.” [Theodorus]: “If you can be a good girl, I’ll tease and spoil you to bits.”

⋆ in host clubs, there’s a thing called a champagne call. the customer buys some very expensive bubbly, and all of the hosts gather round her table to chant, sing, w/e i was curious on how the localization handled theo’s dog nickname for MC (like 駄犬) cuz if they did a straight translation (mongrel, mutt, etc.), i feel like the western audience would hate him lul. glad they found smth

Everyone tries to entertain me, and in a single moment, their sweet words make me forget about my ordinary life. (It’s nice that everyone is so lively; but shouldn’t I go pick someone for tonight…?)

Troubled about it, arms then suddenly wrapped around my waist on both sides, causing me to cry out. [Faust]: “How long do you intend to go down one by one like that, keeping us men waiting?” [Faust]: “Come on— Please pick someone, and quickly. I can’t say... that I don’t know who you should be choosing.” [Charles]: “Ugh, there goes the cunning Doctor. I wanted to be picked by her, and now you’re doing all this.” [Charles]: “Hey— Pick me, Kara. I’ll do things to you that’ll make you feel good, utterly euphoric...” [Sebastian]: “Stop the Sexy Time. Even though you are a host, please show some restraint within club walls, Charles.” [Sebastian]: “...There being so many rivals vying for Kara’s nomination, is a nuisance.”

[Jeanne]: “If I do things that will make her feel good, will she be thrilled?” [Mozart]: “Jeanne, it’d be a good idea to not emulate what you just saw.”

⋆ “Stop the Sexy Time” is transliterated into kana, so it felt wrong to potentially change it. yes the cringe was not made by me this time. surprisingly also, this is something that gets a bit lost in translation: Charles and Jeanne both use yorokobu, in which the most common meaning is to be pleased, feel joy, etc. however, they use diff kanji which have diff connotations. Charles uses one that’s more abt physical joy (like a massage... or uh u know), while Jeanne uses one that’s more abt emotional joy (like seeing a friend u haven’t met with in a while). it’s supposed to show how dirty minded charles is while jeanne is precious LOL

[Mozart]: “Kara, come over here. You deserve to receive much finer hospitality... So, from me.” [Jeanne]: “If you pick me as well, then I’ll do my very best. Kara, won’t you come with me?” (Urgh- it’s getting more and more impossible to pick just one of them...!)

…

A bit farther away from everyone else, in the backroom— two men were exchanging words with each other: [Shakespeare]: “The moment Kara arrived, everyone became so animated.” [Shakespeare]: “She’s a mysterious one, to be able to draw us masterful hosts towards herself.” [Leonardo]: “Mhm, every single grown man is desperate to get the sweetheart’s attention.   [Leonardo]: “Well... maybe I should turn desperate too, hm?”

And in the owner’s quarters, there were also men watching Kara through the club monitors. [Vlad]: “That girl…” [Count]: “You mean Kara? She started frequenting this place a little while ago.” [Count]: “For some reason, I’m always interested… in who she picks each time.” [Vlad]: “Looks like you care quite a lot about one specific customer, dear Owner.” [Vlad]: “Kara… hm?”

…

[Napoleon]: “Regardless, all of the hosts here like you way too much. —To be honest, it makes me anxious.” [Kara]: “Huh-?” (Anxious… as a host? Or… as a man?) His words, honeyed with sweet temptation, made my heart race. His smile then deepened: [Napoleon]: “—Well, Kara; Who’s your pick tonight?”

(End of Prologue)

…

(Count)

[Count]: “So you’ve come, Kara. I’ve been waiting, you know.” I had paid a visit to the host club I always go to, and was invited to the owner’s quarters for some reason.

⋆ how is he still a Count in this AU lul. like yea nobility still exists, but it’s… strange, esp. if someone of nobility is openly running a host club

(Being called up here by the owner… this is the first time that’s ever happened.) I couldn’t come up with a reason why I was the only customer summoned here.

[Count]: “It’s not anything to be nervous about; I just wanted to hear something from you tonight.” [Count]: “You come here often, but you pick someone different every time.” [Count]: “Is there no one here that meets your expectations?” [Kara]: “My expectations?” [Count]: “Mhm. Being unable to satisfy our customers’ needs is an alarming matter.” [Count]: “If none of my kids happen to be your type, I’d like to hear what kind of things you seek.” [Kara]: “N-No… it’s not that none of them are my type;” [Kara]: “It’s just that everyone here is so wonderful, so I can’t pick only one of them.” [Kara]: “They’re cool, kind, great at conversation, and entertain me…” As I thought about the hosts who had surrounded me at the tables up to this point, I voiced my feelings honestly. I then recalled the words the Count had said just a moment ago, and felt a slight discomfort in my heart.

(I’m being honest when I say that I can’t choose between such amazing hosts. But…) (I also think it’s certainly true that “what I seek” is a bit different from them.) (The one I desire is more…) I shifted my eyes to the Count standing before me, and he responded with the composed smile of a mature adult. I was captivated by him at first glance, as a scent of danger seemed to drift from deep within that smiling face.

(But— As the owner himself, the Count’s not going to service a customer, of course…) Regretful, I dropped my gaze— Before I realized the Count had walked over to me. Cradling my chin in his fingers, he turned my head up so I face him.

[Count]: “Contrary to your words… your eyes say that there is something you desire.” [Count]: “Your indecisiveness stems from wanting more stimulation, is it not?” [Count]: “Like this, for example—"

He suddenly pressed his lips to mine. Shocked, I tried to pull away— but the Count gripped my waist in place. He then drew me in closer as if to prevent escape, changing angles countlessly as he took my lips. [Kara]: “Nn-… Don’t. I can’t pick you, the owner, as my host, so…” [Count]: “That unsatisfied-looking face of yours deeply bothers me.” [Count]: “I’m retired, but if you wish it so... For you, I’m willing to make a comeback tonight.” [Count]: “Well, now… go ahead; make your choice?” As if to seduce me, the gleaming gold eyes in front of me radiate this allure. With that, I felt that he could see through the lustful desires that lied within the recesses of my heart, and my body shivered with a subtle numbness. (I’ve never felt this way before.) Wondering what kind of stimulation he would give, I wanted to be toyed by those fingers, those lips… These emotions muddled within me.

(I think the person I’ve wanted all this time... was you from the beginning.)

[Kara]: “Count— Tonight, I’ll have you…” [Count]: “To be chosen by you, is an honor.” [Count]: “I promise to sate your thirst this evening.” [Count]: “—Give yourself to me.”

⋆ or “you can entrust all of yourself to me” if u want smth more awkward but more faithful to the original text

A fervent kiss rained down on me as if to fill what I had been deprived of,

and the night that would far exceed the stimulation I had desired, had just begun—

FIN

⋆ u kno, i did try making the characters sound more 21st century in this AU. but at the same time, the count probably wouldnt be the type to say yeet (aka a useless person) so idt it showed that much

…

Loved So Much, I Go Breathless // Count

…

Inside a swaying carriage, the Count sat across from me. Staring at me fixedly, he then gave a deep sigh. [Count]: “You are astoundingly beautiful tonight, Kara. —It was good to have left the manse like this.” [Count]: “If we had traversed the streets by foot, then I would have surely faced difficulty in having to shake off the men charmed by you.” [Kara]: “Ah-… D-Don’t play around like that, please.” [Count]: “I’m being completely honest, you know. —Well, if someone were to come near you, I wouldn’t let them lay a finger on you anyway.”

⋆ he says something closer to “those are my true thoughts, without a single lie” but that’s going too far in my arbitrary rules of “does this sound like smth ppl actually say” so whee

(J-Jeez; He always acts like this…) Wanting to mislead my pounding heart, I hastily changed the subject.

[Kara]: “Um… Where are we going tonight?” [Count]: “Oh my, did you forget? Today’s the anniversary of the day we met, of all things.” [Kara]: “Of course I didn’t forget. It was the day I changed my own fate, and met you— A day I cherish so very much.” [Count]: “It’s the same for me; And it’s precisely why we’re going to a place where I may reaffirm my love.” (“Love”…?) When I tilted my head, the Count gave a meaningful smile, saying nothing more.

With that—

The place the stagecoach had arrived, was a church I recognized. (This is… the place where we had confirmed our love for one another.) The Count took my hand before we entered, the moonlight silently illuminating the unoccupied altar.

[Count]: “I have decided from my heart— that on this day, and on every day we call ‘our anniversary’—" I shall proclaim my vows to you once more.”

[Count]: “Kara— This is my oath of eternal love to you.” Before the altar, the Count kneeled before taking my left hand, dropping a reverent kiss on my ring finger. [Kara]: “nh- Ah-…” A sweet numbness ran from my finger, and my heart skipped a beat.

[Count]: “The time I spend with you, is filled with a dazzling brilliance.” [Count]: “—Filled to the point where I believe those centuries I had of embracing nothingness, came to be for the purpose of being able to meet you…” [Count]: “If you would allow it— For the future to come, with you by my side, I shall continue to swear such (to you).”

[Count]: “And thus, I wish that one day, I shall become one with you. —That is the greatest happiness I seek.”

He then rose to his feet, embracing me as if to envelop me whole. With my cheek pressed against his chest, I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine. (Like this, it’s as if I’m becoming one with the Count— With Abel.)

He tenderly brushed my hair aside before running a finger down my neck. One day, fangs will sink into this very spot, and love from a pureblooded vampire – called “eternity” – will be spilled within. Thinking about such things, my heart grew full— and tears were about to fall down my face, involuntarily.

[Kara]: “Abel… me too, I-…”

Overcome with emotion, I was at loss for words— When an almost-biting kiss fell upon me, cutting off my words. His tongue caught mine through my broken lips, our hot sighs immediately laden with heat.

[Count]: “—There is no need for words.” His lips only barely parting from mine, he whispered with a glossy sigh.

[Count]: “The tears brimming in your eyes, tell me everything— that you belong to me.” [Kara]: “Ah-… Abel…” His gentle - but also denying any notion of resistance – and sweet kiss, deepened, desiring me and only me. I embraced him with all my strength, abandoning myself to this happiness that will last forever and ever…

FIN (2)

Ikevam has been kind of boring if u dun like the top 5 all that much but i mean always has been astronaut_gun.jpg

anyway, the election was mostly a skip for me this year cuz i dun care for mini figures. also, he was doing awful in categories bc ppl are voting characters over several categories (rather than just the recommended one). frankly i think it’s dumb to vote a character in anything other than the “officially” recommended category bc the chance of losing in all categories is much higher than getting stuff in >1 category (e.g., with the midterm results u can see vlad in every category, but he’s only eligible for a benefit in one…when he could easily just win in one category period). but maybe that way of thinking is too tryhard for a game that only barely fits the definition of a game #realgamurz #weliveinasociety

i honestly didn’t do (aka pay) much and ranked rly well in character rankings. so i was happy i got decent stuff, but sadder he doesn’t get much support;; u telling me the richest guy has the stingiest fans. yes. i mean look at me, microwave pizza is my life

sorry for the lack of updates. as usual but uh better to be annoying with no updates than with too much RITE haha yes………. yes

as always, thanks for reading!

[sugawaraisforthelesbians]

haikyuu characters when the karasuno manager asks them to dye their hair pink with them

Basically, you're one of the 3 karasuno managers and you're in camp with nekoma, fukurodani and karasuno (obv) and you ask some of the characters to dye their hair with you. 💕

ft: nishinoya, bokuto & kenma

nishinoya

-the team was having a break from all their matches and you were handing noya some water when you suddenly had the Best Idea

-"hey noya"

-"mm?"

-"lets dye our hair pink"

-his eyes went big and started to literally ✨Sparkle✨

-"HELL YEAH"

-"WE CAN MATCH!!"

-"WE CAN MATCH!!!!!!!"

-you were both so excited and chaotic everyone started looking at you two like "???" and you both put your hands in each others mouths to shut the other down

-"shhhh. tonight, i'll find you at 11 pm"

-"got it"

-and you went your separate ways as if nothing had happened

-the next day everyone was like "what"

-"just how did you dye your hair Here" daichi was about to kill you two

-"mm? i've no idea what your talking about" you shrugged

-"y/n your hair is literally pink"

-"no??? it's brown" nishinoya joined the conversation and you smiled at him

-"anyways lets go to practice !!!!!"

-daichi will never leave you two alone since that day

bokuto

-you were so excited to go to camp for the first time, just thinking about all the cool people you could meet was So Amazing

-you literally had to warn the team that you would probably talk to everyone in there and that they should not be so overprotective (tanaka and nishinoya im looking at you two)

-"i swear i am Not replacing you guys i just like meeting new people"

-"noya pls dont cry"

-so it had been A Week

-And you'd gotten really close with some of the fukurodani students. Especially the ace-captain.

-He was too sweet, you couldnt resist

-Also he even let you play with his hair!!!! you braided his hair and did some pig tails that looked a d o r a b l e

-Which gave you a great idea

-"Bokuto. pssst. Bokuto, come here" you called with an evil grin

-he looks at you like 👁👁 "whats up"

-"i have pink dye and-"

-"OMG YOURE GONNA DYE YOUR-" you literally had to shut him up with your hands

-"We. We are gonna dye our hair pink. if you want" you whisper, gently removing your hand from his mouth. He nodded his head enthusiatically

-Let me tell you his smile was the most beautiful thing you'd seen in all your life. He's literally so precious.

-"Come find me in the bathrooms at 11 pm, i'll have everything ready"

-"Hell yeah, i'll be there and no one will ever realize i was gone"

-It was finally time and you were in the girl's bathrooms getting everything ready (no way you were going to the men's restrooms they're disgusting)

-And so the mess began

-Half the sinks were full on pink but thank god you two managed to clean it all before it stuck

-Next morning was chaos

-"Bokuto-san, what did you do" akaashi looked so tired man

-"DUDE YOU LEFT ME OUT OF THIS???" Kuroo was heartbroken

-"IT WAS THEIR IDEA NOT MINE BRO IM SORRY"

-"Aren't you supposed to be responsable? you're the manager"

-"Shut up Tsukishima, you're just mad because your hair doesnt look as cool as ours"

-Akaashi started sleeping with an eye open so he could make sure Bokuto wouldn't sneak out on him Ever Again.

kenma

-you bonded over videogames and being friends with hinata

-also you are kind of similar to the tangerine so of course he likes you a little

-he will never admit it tho

-but the boy is still kenma

-so when you aproach hin with the idea his inmediate respone is a flat out "no"

-"Come onnnn it'll be fun" you were practically begging at this point

-"think of how much this will piss off kuroo"

-"so what color are we gonna use"

-even you were shocked at how quickly he changed his mind

-"um pink. its the best color !!" he nodded

-"is it okay at 2 am???" he didnt even look at you he was just looking at his switch

-"uh i think 12 am or even 11 pm is fine" he nodded in understanding, and you both continued doing whatever you needed to do.

-this was the least chaotic one cause our boy Knows how to apply the dye on your hair and the bathroom doesnt end up a total mess

-you took a bunch of selfies while having the dye on and it was the cutest thing ever

-"omg kenma you look so pretty 🥺🥺🥺"

-"uh thanks i guess" ALSKKSKS

-the next morning???? chaos

-"KENMA WHAT THE F-"

-"KUROO THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE" you yelled while covering hinata's ears

-Bokuto screamed

-"AKAASHIIII LETS DO THAT TOO"

-"I dont think its a good idea, Bokuto-san"

-After yelling at kenma for "not being responsible at camp" he scolded you for leaving him out

-"i told you he'd be mad" you giggled at kenma

-"i have to admit it was a pretty good idea. Let's do it every camp"

-"OMG YESSSS"