#he was encouraged to keep a journal for controlling his emotions :

[jackdaniel69nice]

Baby Fumi liked to copy down his favorite stories into his own journal.

[lixxen]

The Spot/Jonathan Ohnn Headcannons

Here is a collection of SFW headcanons that I've made for The Spot.

I'll refer to him by his regular name for this. Will include general and relationship.

If y'all have any specific, send me an ask 💛💛

General

Jonathan loves cats. He adores them and prefers them over dogs

He is the least picky eater ever when it comes to what the food actually is, but presentation is everything to him

He clicks his pen three times whenever he is working. It is a nervous habit

He was always lanky and his family always called him a stringbean

He likes radio music and has never subscribed to music services. He only uses radios, even if he is an advanced scientist. If it's popular and on the radio, he listens. He doesn't prefer a specific genre

He has low scale diagnosed OCD, which makes him have to touch things three times or eat in pairs of twos. If he doesn't, he gets intrusive thoughts and feels the universe collapsing because he broke a pattern

His powers aren't fully stable and will react to his emotions. The less in control of his emotions, the less in control of his powers he has

He keeps all of his personal notes in journals. They're kept in boxes underneath his bed

He is described as "socially awkward and pathetic in the right way" by people he knows. But he is loved in the end

Jonathan is a brilliant scientist who has been fueled by the need to prove himself to others and to spite people who told him he couldn't do things

One of those people was his university roommate, Quentin Beck. The two are still friends, but Beck was the first person who challenged Jonathan directly

He studied alternate universe and the multiverse. The infinite possibilities always intrigued him

When he joined Alchamex, he found his true calling

He fit in quickly in the group of tight knit scientists he worked with. Dr. Liv Octavius was his direct boss and the two were close. She was the one who encouraged him to create the spots that would eventually be his demise and put him at the top of the collider project, underneath her

Jonathan didn't have any warm feelings towards the collider, knowing that something on that scale could cause major damage if it went wrong. But he went along with it because it would further his spot research

Pulling the spider out from Earth 42 was exciting. He could see a young boy at his desk, unassuming as the spider crawled towards him. Jonathan plucked it out from the universe and immediately branded it

When the spider escaped, he went searching for it. He followed the traces of energy, with a small device he created quickly, down underneath the collider. He watched from the shadows as he watched a young boy interact with who he assumed was a family member. He watched his spider bite and get killed by the young man

It took him time to go and collect the spider. He had to go tell Dr. Octavius that the spider escaped and got killed. She wasn't happy to hear it

Jonathan kept the spider, along with other work trophies in his home. He enjoyed seeing his achievements at home

That night the spider bit Miles, he cut all of his hair off. The needed to feel control in the situation and cutting off years of growing his hair made him feel better

He tracks Miles but doesn't report it to Kingpen or Dr. Octavius. He feels an odd sense of duty to the child. He created the kid's existence as a hero is because of him and he couldn't help but feel a sense of achievement. Another project that was successful

He holds spite against Miles for throwing a bagel at him. Of course it would be him getting hit. Because why wouldn't it. It put a sour taste in his mouth

As said in the movie, he was there to witness the collider exploding. He was working on his spot containment when he was emergency called down to the collider. He carried in the spots to see spider people, including Miles. He gripped onto the spots as he called out orders to the other scientists around him. He cringed when the machine went haywire

Then, it happened. It exploded and he was sent flying with the spots. He opened his eyes again as the jar shattered in his arms. They widened in horror as the spots started to consume him

Around him, his coworkers screamed in fear as they scattered. One grabbed Jonathan, trying to pull him out of the spots that were consuming him and away from the collider

They barely made it out of the room before it consumed him whole. He screamed in agony as it burned and he could feel his whole body being consumed

When he looked back up, his co-workers who were all still there, injured and scared, were staring at him. They asked him what he did and he looked around quickly. Seeing his reflection in the glass, he let out a small sob

He found out quickly what the spots did, as rubble fell onto a spot and they came out feet away. He tried to wipe off the spots, but they just merged and his hand went into them. It popped out next to a coworker who screamed

He got him and the coworkers out using his spots

The next day, he was ridiculed and fired by the owner. His family reacted badly and told him to leave him alone

This caused Jonathan to spiral and go into hiding for a year. He became depressed and tried to slowly get used to his spots

He started to use them to rob after eight months of using his savings

Relationships

He's a giddy type in relationships

He's almost obsessive, but not outwardly. He fusses over how his partner is feeling and will keep track of them. Not in a controlling way, but fear of people who dislike Alchamex

He will buy so many flowers. His partner will never be without them

He loves to cuddle. He loves skin to skin contact and will press his face into their neck, just to fall asleep instantly

He loves to ramble and will NOT shut up to whoever he's dating. He will tell them every aspect of his work and life

He can't dance, he's too lanky. But he tries his best. He'll try to woo them with it

He's a hopeless romantic and loves the idea of lavish dates and being perfect

He will definitely be the type of person who would raise hell if his partner is hurt or taken. He's the type to burn down the world for them once he's The Spot

He's very awkward at first, but once he's comfortable, he will be the best thing to ever happen

[lonleydweller]

Hi Dwell! Is it ok if I call you that? (Please let me know)

I'm the anon who requested brittle bones darling with scarecrow and riddler

(Which was amazing as I've mentioned before ♥️)

and I was wondering....

Could you write yandere platonic scarecrow and riddler (again..sorry 😅) with a teenager that they want to make their protégé / and or heir to their work/ villain persona?

Like maby they knew the teen in the past?

(PLEASE Take your time. Remember to stay hydrated and well fed and take breaks regularly your writing is improving so much! Your one of my favourite blogs ♥️♥️)

🥀Platonic Yandere Arkham Knight Riddler and Scarecrow with a teen protégé🥀

Of course!! Also don't be afraid to give yourself a proper anon name if you want! Assuming by your wording as well that this most likely a kid they snatched off the streets or someone else in this case! And don't worry, I'm probably overhydrated than anything else.

!Warnings!: this content contains, toxic family dynamic, platonic yandere trope, alluded kidnapping, controlling behavior, emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, gaslighting.

Yanderes are OK in fiction. They should stay fiction. They are not example of healthy relationships. These behaviors are NOT okay in real life. This is for entertainment purposes

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Riddler

●Welp hope you enjoy being trapped in a bunker full of strewn about scrap metal, machinery, robots, and random shit. An absolute mess. It's a surprise he can even meet your basic needs. Your room is most likely a small extra storage closet he emptied out. It's decent, probably the only clean part of the base, granted you're the only one who uses or maintains it. However you barely get privacy.

●He'll force you to be beside him for a good chunk of the day, berating you and lecturing you about topics you barely understand. Forcing you to help a bit with schemes. You'll need the experience after all if you are to take after him aren't you? Maybe if you do something right he'll give you some fatherly praise and encouragement. Otherwise don't expect much from him.

●Correction. You are going to take after him. There is no if. He fully expects you to do so and will drill it into your head. If you have any dreams, any aspirations, any careers you want, he'll shoot them down. Get that nonsense out of your head. No doubt you two get into shouting matches about this topic and the fact he's not your real dad.

●You're allowed very few personal items. A notebook, pencil, puzzles, rubix cubes, crosswords. Things that he believe will help challenge your brain. Maybe if you're lucky he'll gift you something you actually want. No electronics however. Under any circumstance. Nothing that allows you to communicate with the outside world. He isn't a fool.

●Oh, yeah, and he dosen't allow you outside. At all. He says it's for your own good. Which is debatable. All of this is. You should be grateful he didn't leave you on the streets where your brain would inevitably melt from the stupidity! Not to mention the various thugs, criminals, the bat, and other rouges that are just waiting to snacth you up. Really it's safer with him.

●He will absolutely look through your notebook, journal, or any personal belongings while you sleep. Looking around your room to make sure you aren't hiding anything.

●He has many precautions to make sure you can't go sneaking out and running away. Him keeping an extremely close eye on you isn't enough. His robots are stationed at almost every door, roaming around, camreas placed just outside the base, throughout the city, and more than likely a tracker on something you own. Say maybe a pair of shoes or a shirt.

●Overall you're stuck with a controlling, brash, overprotective, overbearing narcissist as a barely father figure.

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Scarecrow

●With Dr.Crane at least you get a proper decent room, and a home that's not full of tripping hazard. It's actually somewhat barren. Your needs are met all the same, but don't be mistaken, you're still surrounded by manipulation and villainy.

●He'll let you have more freetime compared to Edward. He'll show you bits of his work here and there. He wants to try and get you interested on your own accord, but he'll give you a nudge if need be. The more your young minds curiosity is peaked, the more he'll teach you about his toxins and work.

●It may seems nice, but of course it's only manipulation. After all if he forced you to do it, you'd resent him, resent his work. Once he was gone, you'd just move on as an adult. If he gets you interested at a young age, ignite the passion for fear in you and engrain it, you'd be more willing to carry on his legacy wouldn't you?

●You're mainly gifted books, art supplies, or other things if you request them and he's deemed you've earned them. However he's strict on electronics as well. Maybe if you prove you aren't going to run away or snicth on him anytime soon he'll give you a phone or laptop. It won't be able to connect to the internet and will be heavily monitored.

●He won't let you outside too much either. Unless you're monitored by him or his men. Even then you won't go far from his domain. He fears Batman or another member of the Rouges Gallery might snacth you up if they realize your association with him.

●He won't really root through your personal belongings unless he feels there a sudden shift in your behavior or some cause for concern. He trusts he's manipulated treated you fairly well enough to where you aren't scheming behind his back.

●He still has security in place. It's Gotham city, many things can go awry. Camreas here and there, thugs, maybe a tracking device if need be. If it really calls for it he'll get the help of the Arkham Knight and his army.

●He'll hides his manipulation under a calm, reasonable, and collected demeanor.

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[heartfullofleeches]

general hcs on our new edible couple? 🤍

[Original Post of said couple here]

Cinnabar and Izzy are a fun pair and have a pretty comedic origin to begin with. Both are dream fiends, being created from the dreams of humans, and looked close enough to their creators that they were able to pick up where those left off in life. (One's death was an accident, the other way murdered). Their creators were dating and through various notes and journals the two found out they had a date scheduled and were too afraid of raising suspicion to cancel it. The pair found out they were the same breed after Izzy nearly melted due to a fondue station and the rest was history.

Background out of the way, onto the headcanons

-

Cinnabar and Izzy are a package deal. Neither would take on another darling if their spouse didn't love them as well, and there are things Cinnabar can do that Izzy can't. Cinnabar is a sweet, compassionate person. Izzy is cold and distant - both personalities taking a step back in the right scene. While she is not the one who killed her creator, Cinnabar is more likely to kill/distance you from a rival that her spouse. Izzy stays in the background because he doesn't have control of his own body and prone to melting when he loses control of his emotions or stands near something warm for too long.

Riding off that last sentence, Izzy is incredible touch starved and a tad bit overprotective. He refuses to allow you to leave the house without pepper spray and your location tracker on, but if you give him a hug and a kiss that'll be enough of a distraction for you to get away... until you return home. Photography is his favorite hobby and his study is painted in pictures of you and Cinnabar. He normally sleeps there to avoid disturbing you both with his body heat or lack thereof.

While Cinnabar encourages him to embrace you, she's more than happy to give you all the hugs she can provide. She lives by the motto of food being the way to a person's heart and tries to lure you into their home with the promise of three meals a day and dessert if you stay with them. She runs an in home bakery and appears close to human that her spouse from the dreams of her customers, but inside she's still all cinnamon and sugar. Breakfast always has a bit of that spice mixed in, but she tries to give leeway with lunch and dinner.

Izzy isn't left out when she makes her special desserts for you, and can even alter the flavor of his ice cream temporarily depending on what he consumes before hand. It's easier for him to regenerate than his wife so he doesn't mind giving up an arm or a leg for you, but Cinnabar usually tries to convince him to give up blood or.... other fluids.

Summertime is when you get the most physical affection out of your partners. Izzy is still reluctant on going outside, but if it's warm enough he'll join the cuddle pile to keep you cool throughout the night. Since he doesn't go out much, he doesn't have all the social knowledge Cinnabar does and sometimes just drags you away from whatever task you're invested in to put your head against his icy chest. Cinnabar steals his Polaroid to snap as many pictures as she can before he notices and nearly melts on the spot.

Cinnabar's prized dessert is cinnamon rolls crafted into bowls and filled with fresh ice cream. The best of both worlds, as she says. Nothing makes either of them happier than when you find comfort in the things they do for you. Your happiness and safety is all they could ever dream of in this world, and they'll do anything to put a smile on your face

[bittersweetcreep]

How I See Yandere!Red Luna!Damian: Like Mother Like Son

The tldr

Damain Yandere Type

Possessive

Manipulation

Self-Indulgent

Impulsive

Stalker

Overly Jealous

Talia Yandere Type

Possessive

Manipulative

Sadistic

Puppet Master

I see Damian being like his mother, so let's talk about Talia first. I see her being the type needing to own and dominate her love Bruce, and becoming aggressive if her ownership is threatened. Will exercise her control and influence over him by using his secrets and weaknesses against him.

Will inflect suffering upon Bruce by bringing about emotional or physical harm to him. She derives pleasure from doing this. She's the type to let her darling escape only to dash his hopes by recapturing him. She's fascinated with the physical, mental, and emotional limitations of her Bruce and how far she can push those limitations. All in all, she just wants to watch her beloved squirm.

Most yanderes rush with their plans to obtain their darling, but she's a lot slower and is more methodological with her approach in obtaining her love. This involves overly complicated schemes that will eventually get her Bruce. Everything she does tends to have an overarching logic to it. She'll do anything for Bruce, She'll do anything to have him in the pawn of her hand.

Now Damian isn't the sadistic or puppet master type, but he is possessive and manipulative. He doesn't like Luna making independent decisions. He wants her dependent on him and will remove all of her safety nets to do so, but their relationship will appear normal to others around them and even Luna herself. He will use Luna's trust to create wedges between her and those that will get between them. Damian is always encouraging co-dependence in any form, to small things like him brushing her hair or getting groceries for her to things not so small like supporting her financially.

Damain gets jealous over everyone, even random strangers Luna will likely never see again. Like that college student working the register? Jealous. That nice elderly man recommending a pastry? Jealous. The librarian helping Luna find a book? Jealous. He even gets jealous over Batman and Nightwing, aka Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, two adult men.

He's selfish, satisfying his own desires and whims without restraint. Acting according to what he wants rather than thinking what's best for Luna or others. He wants Luna to pamper him and gets annoyed when not given praise. Has an "I come first" attitude towards Luna. Imagine having impulsive behavior mix with all of this selfish behavior. Acting in response to his emotions, not thinking or caring for those around him, or how his actions would affect others. He's prone to erratic mood changes, to possessiveness, jealousy, overreacting, kidnapping, and murder.

He likes to keep tabs on Luna. Like the places she would go, what she's doing, and who she's associating with. One way he keeps tabs on her is by following her around without her knowing. Another way is placing a mini microphone tracker on her person and once again without her knowing. He'll also place cameras around her "house" so he can observe her 24/7.

Damian wishes to know everything possible about Luna in the hopes he can catch her eye, like when she sees the cover of the book he's reading and what do you know she's read that book too! Or Damian what's to pick up art but doesn't know how to draw, what you'll teach me? Thanks! Another reason he wants to know what she likes is so he can shower her in gifts that she'll like. He would write all he's learned in a journal so he wouldn't forget a single detail.

[the-head-ancho-chilli]

Giyu General Headcannons

I'm back! I celebrated my birthday this Saturday and now I have second degree burns when I just wanted breakfast this morning… and I was supposed to have a midterm tomorrow…….. and now I am typing everything with one hand while writing in pain…………

But for now here's some Giyu Headcannons! Requests and asks are still open ^^

Word count: 1k~

So let's talk about Giyu

Everyone is so quick to judge this man and label him as "boring" or "stoic" and while those claims aren't necessarily false, I think we need to give Giyu a bit more credit

He's just really fucking tired, like all the time

Shinobu often teases Giyu and encourages him to lighten up a bit in hopes that he's seen as more open or approachable to his peers, but his efforts don't necessarily work the way that he intends

He's awkward in a where where he just has no clue what he's doing, ever

Giyu is the epitome of waving back at someone only to realize that they were greeting the person behind you

Like you could tell him about your awful morning and end it off by thanking him for listening, but the phrases "your welcome" and "no problem" will get jumbled in his head and he'll just stutter out a "your problem" instead

What's even worse about it is he'll just walk away in embarrassment

It's not an understatement by any means to say that Giyu is an introvert, but he really does value his personal time

A lot of it he spends self-regulating, and he doesn't usually want anyone around while he's doing that

Giyu doesn't talk about it but he keeps a mental checklist of things that he should do throughout the day to retain himself

He actually gets pretty upset if they go wrong

For an example. Giyu developed a routine where he makes tea in the comfort of his engawa and he knocked the cup over, spilling it onto the soil below

He was pretty harsh on himself all day because of it, even walking away from Rengoku wordlessly when he tired to incite Giyu our to eat with him

Giyu's not emotional, rather than he has a lot going on mentally and even the smallest mistake he makes can incapacitate him for the rest of the day

He would rather self-isolate until he feels better instead of bringing down his friend's moods just because he's not in a good mindset

He also journals, paints, reads, and goes on walks to help cheer himself up

Giyu doesn't really advertise that he does any of this because as I mentioned, he really values that time to himself

Would happily join someone if they invited him to do any of these activities though

Usually on his good days, he'll spend time with Shinobu, Sanemi or Rengoku and might even crack a smile or two if they're lucky

He especially likes hanging around Sanemi's estate, listening intently as Sanemi shares about the rhino-beetles he's been raising

Giyu and Shinobu find it very fascinating

What sucks is that Giyu's bad days are really incapacitating, sometimes he just spirals at the end of the day because he reaches an "I did what I supposed to, why am I still feeling like this?" mentality

I wasn't kidding when I said he can be really harsh on himself

The best way to offer help to Giyu is to offer to sit with him

His love language isn't quality time, but he really does appreciate the opportunity to just exist in a space with someone without the expectation that the two of you need to talk or anything

If he does talk, really take the time to listen

Giyu rarely enjoys speaking for a long time, and usually just communicates by sharing the most impactful or practical information in the shortest sentence possible

Really think about what he's saying and respond accordingly

But now would be a really good time to reassure him that he's not wasting time or anything, as words of affirmation is his love language

Giyu is most definitely neurodivergent, and usually copes with his depression by trying to reaffirm a sense of control in his life

Although most people would do this by assuring that they have a choice at any given opportunity, Giyu on the other hand accomplishes this by organizing himself as much as he can

This doesn't always mean that his home is spotless or his hair is brushed, but it does usually mean that he schedules his day so that he rarely has anything incomplete

But there are those times where everything hits too hard and all he can do is lie in bed all day, watching the shadow of the leaves outside swaying in the breeze, creating a kaleidoscope of light on the ceiling of his room

If you noticed that you haven't seen Giyu in a day or two, try visiting his home with some food

He won't always let you in because there's probably a mess that he's putting off to clean

But he will remember that for a long time, and most likely return the favour if he has the opportunity to

Stepping away a bit from the angst, Giyu's journal looks super cool

His handwriting isn't usually legible so it's a bit hard to read, but he likes doodling stuff about the things that happened that day or keeping objects in between the pages

Like when he and Shinobu both spent time with Sanemi to see his rhino beetles, Giyu tried drawing Sanemi's favourite one

He even gave it a little leaf as an umbrella in his drawing since it was raining that day

Giyu also asked Shinobu to teach him flower pressing so he can preserve the daises Mitsuri gave him

So there it's kept, in between the pages of his overflowing journal with several other memorabilia

Also speaking of flowers, Giyu is shockingly good at taking care of plants

He actually can't fathom why because he often forgets to water them and doesn't exactly keep them in an optimal spot in his house

Rarely checks up on them due to all the missions Giyu's on

But not only are those plants alive, but they're thriving

Shinobu's actually jealous about how healthy his plants are, and when she tries to interrogate Giyu on what secret method he's using on them he just shrugs and says "I don't know, maybe it's because of the season? I have no clue"

He will admit that they should've died so long ago

But they do bring hope to Giyu, on those days where he can't seem to do anything he remembers his plants and that because they've lasted this long, then maybe he will be okay after all :)

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

I am itching for some requests to fill so someone pls send something in , don’t be shy!

Also I have a Valentine’s Day post planned so stay tuned ;)

[jasminesjournal]

Plot: Lillianna is Carlisle’s mate. But she is entirely against the idea of love. How will Carlisle be able to convince her that she’s making a mistake?

Warnings: Angst

Title: Love is Pain

It wasn’t the love she feared, it was what love could bring. Heartbreak. Pain. So she chose to be alone instead. She had to guard her heart. She had grown close to him, and things were going well. That was the problem. Surely, something will go wrong. She wasn’t going to wait for that to happen. She doesn’t even know it but she’s knocking on his study door. The door is open, but her courtesy won’t allow her to enter without his acknowledgment.

When he sees her face he recognizes her look of hesitancy. He knows she had been keeping something hidden. He’s not one to push. He nods with a smile, signaling she can come in. He was reading a new medical journal but he will always have time for her. Especially when she looks at him with such emotion.

She doesn’t say anything. How can she? Yes, she loves him. Yes, she wants to stay happy by his side. On the other hand, how long will that last? The two sit in silence among each other. Carlisle waits for her to collect her thoughts, his dead heart would pick up in pace if he was human. As calm and collected as he is, he knows she’s struggling to tell him something he might not enjoy. How could he? It brings her pain.

“Love, take a breath,” he gently encourages her. She does so and he smiles. He adds, “Now, whatever it is you’re struggling with. Please, don’t keep it to yourself.

The way he treats her with such love only makes her not want to share. She needs to though. In one breath she says, “I can’t stay.”

When Carlisle hears those words his entire world crumbles. His calm expression wavers, “May I ask why?”

“This can’t last. What we have.”

“Nothing lasts forever, Love. So, why stop it before it can begin?”

She doesn’t respond for a while. She doesn’t even look at him. She’s hurting both herself and him.

Carlisle asks another question, “Why are you so afraid? I can see this decision hurts you. Something is happening within you. Please, tell me,” he adds with a broken voice, “I can’t lose you.”

She tries not to cry but she can’t help but let some tears fall.

“Love, why are you doing this to us?”

She finally finds her words, “Because I’m scared.” There it is. Her fear.

“Why?” His question sounds simple, but it’s the deepest question he could ask her.

“Because love is pain.”

Carlisle lets out a sigh at her answer, “Lillianna, I will always love you. If you run from this love, you will bring more pain on yourself,” he leans forward, “As well as on me.”

She shakes her head out of frustration. She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know how to respond. She doesn’t want to hurt him. At the same time, he’s right. For her to leave what they have behind will only bring more of that pain onto herself. She she nods.

He doesn’t know what that nod means, but he hopes it means she will stay. She confirms it with a light, “I don’t want to leave.”

“Then, please don’t,” is his simple answer, “The love we have is different from the love of your past. Don’t let your past dim your future.” His words are wise and they strike Lillianna deep in her heart.

“I love you,” is her response.

So, Lillianna stays. She doesn’t let the pain love brings diminish the love she has for Carlisle. She didn’t let it control her. She was free…and Carlisle was the key.

[sincelastsession]

Irritated today. Finding it hard to even do simple shit. Really just want to sleep. Gotta do laundry and Justin is coming over to do his because our laundry is cheaper.

I don't know what to do with him. I don't know if I will have a freakout bad reaction if I allow him to be sexual with me. I'm having a very hard time letting him close. I'm used to my ex. Justin is nothing like him. I feel sex repulsed by pretty much everyone except my ex and my LDR which is more mental and emotional clearly. I'm not sure if I just don't like Justin or if it's something else. I don't want to move fast. I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater either tho. I don't know. It's driving me nuts. I'm happy with him at a certain level of intimacy that is just some touching or cuddling. I know it's frustrating for him. I ignore when he gets a boner or pull away because i don't want him to very gently ask me when I may be ready. Most guys go to the restroom or try to hide it. I told him I'd initiate if I felt like it and have encouraged him to continue listening to polysecure.

I haven't felt very sexual in general even with having drinks. He keeps trying to suggest libido enhancers for women after i shared that my doctor's nurse who has trauma who married a safe man suggested because as she told me woman to woman she knows her issue is trauma related and so she got some gummies from the sex shop. Basically he's trying to help but I didn't ask. Idk if I'm greyace again or demisexual or what. Idk if it's a trauma response or if I just am that way. I don't know how to tell that.

I feel that there are parts of me that pop out or front but I don't think it's DID. I think it's definitely dissociative though. I'm not scared of any of it except the angry part. Not the normal angry. Moreso the angry that needs a rage room daily and to fistfightGod, the angry that people call psychosis or a flash out but way more fucked up. That I try to keep locked away.

I can draw what it looks like in my minds eye. It's sorta similar to that kid's movie about emotions but there's no control panel or visible characters. It's a chair in a room and my eyes are the windows. I don't know who to see about evaluation. It is something that concerns me. Once in a while I don't remember entire conversations or how things happened...but then later I'll remember in great detail but I'm not the same as when I'm forgetting vs when I'm remembering. I don't know if I actually have an alter that pops out or not. Like it's a big concern. It also would make sense to why I prefer poly relationships and why my demeanor towards the same people changes. I've had a moment where I wanted to go ahead and fuck Justin but I didn't voice it. I was going to but then I was suddenly angry and had to excuse myself to the restroom. To be clear these sort of things have happened in the past when I was not on my anxiety medicine or smoking weed or drinking. It's not splitting like bpd. It feels more like the weird rage lash out that misophonia causes (diagnosed with that). Generally when I'm mad I will say something stingy and retreat.

I think I disassociate from pain.

Annnd the lights are popping on and off I guess im Journaling more when my phone is charged

[daydreamerdrew]

ok this isn’t supported by how Zelda did finally unlock her powers, but my headcanon was always that it was all of the praying that Zelda did that prevented her from getting them sooner, not in that the act of prayer detached her from her powers, but that the amount it took up of her time kept her from studying the ancient Sheikah technology and it would have been through that that she would have unlocked her powers

my idea was that she would have studied the ancient Sheikah technology -> unlocked her powers -> through both her experience with the technology and her powers she would have recognized the way in which guardians and divine beasts to susceptible to malice contamination; as well as possibly the fact that, like the Sheikah technology, the Calamity Ganon itself was buried in the ground beneath them -> she would have been able to alter the guardians and divine beasts so that Ganon couldn’t take control of them; possibly evacuate Hyrule Castle and the area around it, rather than a lot of people dying immediately when the crisis started as he first came out of the ground -> the new version of the plan would have actually worked and they would have succeeded in defeating Calamity Ganon in the first attempt with a lot fewer people dying, rather than him being able to counter them repeating how he was defeated the previous time because they didn’t realize that he had the capacity to learn from that experience

that Zelda unlocks her powers in the game through embracing true heartfelt emotions in a serious act that aligns with them, Zelda instinctively going to protect the already dying Link after he received a grievous injury shielding her from a guardian with his body, seems at odds to me with what had been emphasized previously in the story, though I am sympathetic to that it had to happen at that point in the story somehow. the support we get for that is really just the fact that Mipha finds it helps her when she’s using her healing magic to think about Link, who she loves

there is evidence of Zelda being disconnected from her feelings or avoiding expressions of them prior to the moment where she does unlock her powers, like the bit in King Rhoam’s diary that she didn’t cry after her mother died when she was a child because of what she had been taught was her duty as the princess, but it’s not what’s prominently emphasized in the story. the build-up of the source of Zelda’s problems is how the way she spends her time is controlled

and also the idea that Zelda could unlock her powers through studying the Sheikah technology is thrown a bone in King Rhoam's final journal entry:

"I forced 10 years of training on her... and after all that, it seems her power will stubbornly awaken some other way. Perhaps I should encourage her to keep researching her beloved relics. They may just lead her to answers I can't provide."

[ourlittledinosaur]

Hobbies That Benefit Kids

New Post has been published on https://ourlittledinosaur.com/hobbies-that-benefit-kids/

Hobbies That Benefit Kids

Guest Post from Maria Cannon

You can find more articles by her at her website: http://hobbyjr.org/

Hobbies That Benefit Kids

As parents, we want to help our kids make the best choices for their success. And one of the best things we can do is to help them choose is good hobbies. Hobbies are more than just a pastime. They have real benefits that help children grow into mature adults. Let’s learn what those benefits are and which hobbies are best.

Overall Benefits of Hobbies

Constructive, useful hobbies can teach kids life skills, set them on a career path and nurture their creativity. Hobbies are also a good way to avoid unhealthy temptations. They fill a child’s life with goal-oriented tasks that allow him to pass up the temptation of troubling problems such as overeating, trying drugs, and bullying other kids. According to the Child Development Institute, LLC, hobbies:

Teach kids about goal setting and achievement,

Allow them to learn about themselves, and

Build their self-esteem.

Read more benefits that hobbies offer kids in this post from Parent Circle.

As a parent, you may wonder, which hobbies are especially beneficial for your child. Recent research has plenty of answers. Here are a few of those ideas.

Learning A Musical Instrument

A recent study showed that “children who learn to play musical instruments are better able to control their emotions, reduce anxiety and focus on any given task.” Playing music has also been shown to induce what’s called the “Mozart effect.” Research has shown that simply listening to Mozart’s music seemed to enhance cognitive abilities.

If you are going this route, you might want to buy your child an instrument so that he can practice it whenever he likes. Having the instrument at home can encourage him to practice and it might end up being less costly than renting one. If you are buying a woodwind instrument, like a clarinet or saxophone, it’s actually safer if he is the only one using it.

Journaling And Blogging

Journaling has long been known as a tool that helps people to cope with their emotions. It has other benefits, too, such as helping kids  to see the world in new ways and helping them recover from scary and traumatizing events. Read this mom’s advice on how to help your child start journaling.

Surprisingly, blogging may be even more beneficial, especially for teens. Time reports on new research that shows that blogging benefited teens who struggled to socialize or who felt isolated.

Martial Arts

Martial arts provides countless benefits for a child, including discipline, self-esteem, and even concentration. Children also learn to keep physically fit but it has also shown to be beneficial specifically to kids with ADD or ADHD. Read more about that phenomenon at Yahoo.

Video Games

Surprisingly, according to this article from the American Psychological Association, certain video games can provide mental health and social benefits as well as cognitive benefits. Those include improved spatial navigation, reasoning, memory and perception. Even a game like Angry Birds has been shown to improve mood, promote relaxation and fend off anxiety.

While your child might love this suggestion, we suggest you limit your child’s screen time as much as possible. Encourage him to play interactive video games that teach a skill, like programming or deductive reasoning.

If you still feel hesitant to indulge your child in video games, traditional games and crafts are great hobbies to stimulate his brain, creativity and interest. Here are seven educational activities for young kids from Earth Science Jr.  You can engage your little mad scientist in experiments such as how to make your own edible glass. Turn your home into a lab as you and your kid use household items to make the magic happen.

Getting Your Child Started

Once you’ve chosen a hobby you think would be a good fit for your child, how do you get him started? According to BHG.com, it doesn’t have to be difficult. You can:

Get him excited by setting up a special space devoted to whatever he wants to try.

Work with him or give him helper tasks with one of your own hobbies.

Provide some introductory guidance and then step back and let him take the wheel on the activity.

Introducing your child to a hobby has lots of benefits for his mental health and personal growth. Start today by finding a hobby that suits him just right.

For more hobby inspiration by Maria Cannon, go to Hobby Jr.!

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[angelcabanag]

It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover

It Ends with Us is a romance novel by Colleen Hoover, published by Astria Books on August 02, 2016. It based on the relationship between Hoover’s mother and Father. Hoover described it in 2016 as “the hardest book I’ve ever written’’. As of 2019, the novel had sold over a million copies worldwide and been translated into over 20 languages.

CAST:

ATLAS CORRIGAN

Atlas was the main character Lily’s first love in the novel. She met him because he was homeless and was in need of food, shelter, and warmth. Atlas is my favorite character because he was never rude towards Lily, unlike the other men in her life. He always wanted what was best for her. He would always make her feel safe and encourage her to “just keep swimming.”

ALYSSA KINCAID

Alyssa was Lily’s best friend, employee, and sister of the second love interest of the novel. She had an uplifting attitude that added moments of happiness when the novel turned a bit dark. She always took care of Lily and was on her side even when her brother was not being a good boyfriend to Lily.

LILY BLOOM

Lily lives in Boston and has dreamed of opening a flower shop, which she later fulfills. Her father recently died and she spends a majority of the book reading her old journals about her first love and how her father was abusive. I respect her because she has been through a lot in life, and realizes her self worth throughout the novel by acknowledging she is in a toxic relationship and subsequently getting out of that relationship.

JENNY BLOOM

Jenny is Lily’s mom, who was also in an abusive relationship with Lily’s father. Her mom initially doesn’t seem like a great character as she used to ignore the abuse by Lily’s father, and never fought back or tried to leave him for Lily’s safety. However, by the end of the book, it is apparent that she really cares for Lily and their relationship does improve. 

EMMY KINCAID

Emmy is the daughter of Lily who is born at the end of the novel. Lily decides to leave Ryle for Emmy because she does not want her to grow up with parents who have a toxic relationship.

RYLE KINCAID

Lily met Ryle on a roof where she was there to reflect on giving the eulogy at her father’s funeral. Ryle seems like the perfect man for Lily, until he is unable to control his anger halfway throughout the story. He tries to get better for Lily, but is unable to stop the recurring domestic violence. The domestic violence aspect of the story is absolutely heartbreaking to read, and the book does definitely takes you on an emotional roller coaster.

ANDREW BLOOM

Andrew Bloom is Lily’s dad who really represents what a husband or father figure should not be like. He constantly hits Lily’s mom for no reason and even yells at Lily. He is my least favorite character of the story.

SUMMARY

In the romance novel It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover, Ryle Kincaid and Lily Bloom are an unlikely couple from the beginning. Ryle is too focused on his career as a neurosurgeon to want a relationship, Lily refuses to be a one-night stand. When Ryle finally admits that he cannot live without Lily, Lily never dreams that the relationship will turn abusive.

Lily meets Ryle on the day of her father’s funeral. She has just given what she believes to be the worst obituary ever because she could not think of one good thing to say about her father, Andrew. Andrew was physically abusive to Lily’s mother, Jenny. He additionally put the first boy Lily loved in the hospital when he found the two of them in bed together. Andrew told Lily that she had brought shame on the family by falling in love with a homeless man.

Lily begins reading a series of journals she wrote as a teenager, focusing primarily on the ones she wrote during her relationship with Atlas Corrigan. Atlas was a senior in high school. He was homeless because his stepfather kicked him out of the house. He had nowhere else to go at the time. Lily helped Atlas by providing him with food and allowing him to take a shower in their house. She let him sleep in her room when it was too cold for him to be outside.

Lily fell in love with Atlas and was heartbroken when he moved to Boston after an uncle there said Atlas could live with him. Atlas told Lily he was going to join the Marines and would look her up when he returned. He did not want her to wait for him. It was that night that Andrew beat Atlas with a baseball bat. Lily knew he was alive, but she has not heard from him since.

In the present, Ryle gives Lily mixed messages about a relationship. He tells her that he does not want to make a commitment. Then, he sends her flowers or shows up unexpectedly at her apartment. Ryle finally agrees to test a relationship. During one of their first dates together at Lily’s apartment, Ryle hits Lily. Both of them are drunk. Even though Ryle has burned his hand on a hot casserole dish, Lily cannot help but laugh. Ryle apologizes to her, just like Lily’s father apologized to her mother. He claimed it was an accident. Lily warned him that if he ever hit her again, she would leave him.

That evening, Ryle and Lily went to a new restaurant. Lily had eaten there once before and knew Atlas worked there. She hoped they would not see him that night, but he came to their table to ensure their food was good. Lily could tell Atlas was angry when he saw the mark on Lily’s eye and the bandage on Ryle’s hand. He assumed Ryle had hit Lily. Atlas confronted Lily later and ordered her to leave Ryle. When Lily made excuses, Atlas told her that she sounded like her mother. Atlas hid his phone number in Lily’s phone in case Lily ever needed help.

Ryle hurt Lily again when he found Atlas’s phone number. He accused Lily of lying to him. When Lily followed him in an attempt to tell him the truth about what happened, he pushed her and caused her to fall down the stairs. Lily ordered him out of her apartment. The next day, Allysa, Ryle’s sister, convinced Ryle to tell Lily about his experience as a child. Ryle explains that he found his parents’ gun and unintentionally shot his older brother. Since that time he suffers with bouts of anger and sometimes blacks out. He begs Lily to take him back. With her help, he claims that he can overcome his anger.

Ryle attacks Lily again a short while later after he suspects that Lily is still in love with Atlas. He finds and reads Lily’s journals so he knows that the Boston magnet that Lily keeps on the refrigerator is a gift from Atlas. He also learns that the heart-shaped tattoo is an acknowledgment of the influence Atlas had on her life. Ryle tries to rape Lily in his anger and bashes her head with his when she bites his tongue.

Lily calls Atlas because she cannot think of anyone who can help her. In the emergency room, the doctor tells Lily that she is pregnant. Atlas allows Lily to stay at his house while she heals and tries to determine the next step in her relationship. When Lily leaves, Atlas warns her that he is unable to have a casual relationship with her. He wants her to come back to him if she is ever in a position where she is able to fall in love again.

Meanwhile, Lily tells Ryle that she wants to wait until the baby is born to decide the future of their relationship. She believes she is too emotional to make the right decision while she is still pregnant. Just moments after Lily gives birth, she tells Ryle she wants a divorce. She wants her daughter to grow up without remembering her father only as an abuser. Lily also knows that she is worthy of better treatment. About a year after her divorce from Ryle, Lily meets up with Atlas on the street. They decide on the spur of the moment to start a relationship.

MOOD

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover will have you feeling every emotion within the span of 376 pages. The story itself is heartbreaking and inspiring, sad and happy, romantic and painful.  It is eye-opening to the ways that sometimes the people we love the most end up hurting us the most.

THEME

It Ends With Us deftly and movingly examines issues of jealously, emotional, abuse, and generational cycles. What begins as a love story turns into a deeper investigation of what love is and isn’t, as well as the selflessness that frequently characterizes relationships that ride the emotional rollercoaster.

POINT OF VIEW

Only Lily’s point of view is used to tell this story, and I really like it. A heartbreaking book that will make you smile, laugh, and cry, It Ends with Us really lets you feel experience what Lily goes through.

SYMBOLISM

The novel establishes a strong link between Lily and Atlas and plants. Lily's early conversation with Ryle emphasizes her connection to flowers when she jokingly points out that her name, Lily Blossom Bloom, makes her love of flowers appear inauthentic. Lily's attachment to plants stems from her belief that plants reward the care they receive. "Plants reward you based on the amount of love you show them," Lily tells Atlas. Lily like plants, rewards Atlas with her love for all of his previous care and the care he continues to show her during her situation with Ryle by reaching out to him at the end.

CRITICAL APPROACH

It Ends with Us is open to criticism from all critical perspectives, including formalist approaches, psychological criticism, and criticism of reader response. The story definitely takes a psychological approach, as the protagonist of the It Ends with Us story has had to deal with domestic violence and other traumatic experiences that can affect her brain and thoughts. I am taking Because it deals with sensitive issues, the psychological tactics employed have a great impact on the reader of the book. The formalist approach, on the other hand, is a critical approach that regards the text being analyzed as a word structure that can be applied to any form of history. Finally, an article depicting how women who have experienced domestic violence find themselves conflicted when choosing between a mate and their own safety, and choosing their own well-being. , we can see the criticism of the reader's reaction.

[shivada-jade]

magical mischief (2)

hogwarts!au

character(s): diluc ➡ mentions: kaeya, sucrose, childe, venti, baal, diona warning(s): swearing <3

notes: it was supposed to be diluc, zhongli, and thoma but diluc's unexpectedly got longer than i hoped oOPS so i made a separate one for zhongli and thoma

part 1: kaeya, childe, albedo

gryffindor!

diluc

everyone knows of the gryffindor prefect. some people would mistake him as ravenclaw for being so studious; some people would mistake him for slytherin for being so closed off. in his first year of hogwarts, people often mistook him as hufflepuff for being friendly, overly polite, and outgoing. the hufflepuff mistake changed when he turned sixteen.

no one knows what happened to his sudden change of personality. no one but kaeya and a strange, childhood, ravenclaw friend that works with another even stranger ravenclaw.

sucrose pushes her glasses up, watching you create another explosion in her room.

you cough, wiping off the ashes from your face. the black smudges on your face don't go away. sucrose hands you a handkerchief and you gratefully accept it, finally getting the grime off.

"project sixty-two oh-eight is unsuccessful." the mint haired girl notes in a journal. "moving on to..."

you tilt your head, giving her a nod to go on but she stares at the space behind you. you turn and see kaeya, cracking open the door with a quiet knock. you frown, his uncharacteristic actions feel so weird. he usually just blasts open the door with a flick of his wand and sashays inside.

"kaeya?" you ask after apologizing to sucrose for interrupting her. "what's up?"

the slytherin clears his throat, opening the door more widely. "may i have a moment of your time? preferably not here, though."

he's so... formal. unlike himself.

you wave goodbye to sucrose and promise her to do another experiment next time then direct your attention back to the boy in front of you. "sure, outside?"

he nods. with a swish of his robes, he walks out. you note his posture is so unlike him. his strides are more rigid, less carefree. it's like a comparison from a beauty model to an uptight CEO.

he leads you right in a place where you can see the black lake. it's awfully farther than you expected. you thought he was going to lead to to the court yard, or at least the slytherin common room.

"kaeya, you're not acting like yourself." you comment.

"haha!" an airy laugh escapes from someone. you jolt, surprised from the unexpected guest. you feel two hands clamp your shoulders. "you're absolutely right, my dear."

you knit your brows, walking away from kaeya and... diluc. you slap a hand over your mouth. "wait, diluc- did you just laugh?!" did he just call you 'my dear' with a peppy tone

kaeya grumbles in displeasure. his arms cross while his brother leans on him with a carefree attitude.

you make an 'o' shape with your lips, piecing the clues together. "oh.. oh." you try to remain stoic and serious about the situation, seeing how uncomfy kaeya- no- how uncomfy diluc is.

you gasp out laughing, clutching your stomach. you crouch on the ground unable to control your laughs and look up to the brothers with tears in your eyes, "oh- please! you've switched bodies! how?!"

no wonder the slytherin had been acting all curt and polite. diluc in kaeya's body pinches the bridge of his nose. "the new first year did this," he starts to explain. "took one look at me and said, 'i will destroy the wine industry!' i don't even know how the kid knows of my family's business in the muggle world."

"placed a spell on us with weird words while having a quidditch practice match," kaeya finishes. "but really, who doesn't know of the winery? even the purest of purebloods know of it."

kaeya (still in diluc's body) looks at the red portion of his robes with a scrunched up nose. you're unable to tell if he hates how the robe feels on him. or if he hates wearing gryffindor's colours.

you hum, scratching your head. "you want me to undo the spell, right?"

"if it isn't a problem," diluc presses his lips together. with one glance at your unsure face, his shoulders droop. "you don't know how, do you..."

you smile sympathetically. "i'll try my best to undo it, but just in case, we need to find that first year, to the source itself"

kaeya raises his arms behind his now red hair, "great! it feels so weird to be seeing with both my eyes. or well, with both diluc eyes. the kid's name is diona. she's also in slytherin like me. diluc will lead you to her."

"what? why me," diluc asks.

"because you're the one who looks like me, duh! i cant go in the slytherin common room if i look like gryffindor prefect. just bring [y/n] with you. childe can also help-"

diluc glowers, "you still hang around that scum?"

"you still keep that vase?" kaeya throws sweet poison to diluc.

you chuckle nervously when you see them bring their wands out. "so, diona? let's find her."

kaeya raises a brow, and smirks. "toodles~! i dont want to spend another minute in this grump's body. that donna girl keeps trying to give me a pie- i dont want seven different pies." he wriggles his fingers to show his goodbye.

you shiver. it's so weird to see diluc- when you know diluc isn't actually diluc in his body. but his face keeps smiling and showing emotions with kaeya's soul inside. it's weird to not see only little quirks of his mouth or his typical sighs.

but really though, you could stare at kaeya's new face. it's strange seeing diluc with a scheming face: the one kaeya typically wears

"please at least try to not get into any trouble..." diluc purses his lips. "i'll try to act like you- you try to act like me."

you stare at diluc with owlish eyes. diluc? acting like kaeya?

it seems kaeya has the same reaction, because he freezes. luckily for him, he's quick witted, "oh? act like you?" he musters the grouchiest face and crosses his arms. "hello, i am diluc ragnvindr. i am a grouchy gryffindor. i hate kaeya. i hate lots of slytherins, especially the beautiful, gorgeous asshole named kaeya," he praises himself.

diluc fights the urge to throw him into the black lake. you laugh, dragging diluc away and leading him to where the slytherin common room is.

"i've only been here once, but i am acquainted with childe, so he can show us around." you bump his side playfully and stand outside the slytherin common room.

"CHILDE." you yell with your hands amplifying the noise.

"WHADDUP SHAWTY," you hear a shout from behind you.

you nod to diluc, encouraging him to somehow find a way to get the slytherin password from childe. you know he hates him, but you want to see dilucs words come true. you want to see how he acts as kaeya.

he lets out a shaky sigh and smiles so casually. the smile is so pretty, it hurts. it's a shame he doesn't do that with his own face.

childe beams seeing the two of you, "hey comrades! what are you all standing around for?" he prods around, eying diluc then snaps his fingers as if realizing something.

you wait a bit for diluc to say something, or act more, but it seems he's done his acting gig and goes straight to the point. "what's the password?"

you deadpan. childe's gonna question him now and he'd have to say he's actually dilu-

"yeah sure no problem! it's 'reckoning'"

diluc says the word to a blank wall and enters through the door. you squint your eyes and make a face at childe. "you're up to something, i know."

he shrugs and pushes you in after diluc. "tell diona i said hi."

...

you sit at the lounge, waiting for diluc to show up with diona. your brows crease, because diluc is right. childe knows something others don't. you don't recall telling childe you were trying to find diona.

you doubletake, seeing a hufflepuff drinking an absurd amount of butterbeer from who knows where. they hang their arms around a slender, purple haired slytherin who tries to push him off with disgust.

what is venti doing hanging out with the slytherin queen. he'll die-

"venti," you hiss, reaching out to try and let him live a bit longer.

he hiccups and waves you over. he 'whispers' to the slytherin next to him. oh he's in trouble now. "psst, baal. is that the one all the slytherins are talking about?" his whispers are shouts at this point.

the slytherins at the lounge freeze, hoping you havent caught on yet.

baal hits venti's head with a hand, "shut up. you're ruining the plan."

you snort seeing venti spill his drink on his clothes.

"but baal," venti downs what's left in his mug. "if that grumpy gryffindor wont confess to [y/n] then how on earth is the plan even going to work? he barely even talks to [y/n] these days because hee likes [y/n] too much." he says as if you're not in the room. he continues babbling even after baal kicks his shins, "kaeya's plan won't work if diona-"

oh shit so it's kaeya's plan and every slytherin is on it

baal drags venti out of the common room and throws him out and all the other slytherins hastily leave to their own rooms.

diluc coughs from behind you, now transformed to his normal self and with who you assume is diona. pink peppers his face while he tried to cover his face with his fiery hair. "um, i found diona. she swapped me back."

diona sticks her tongue out. "that ugly kaeya made a deal with me on something and i had to oblige! it's honestly so pathetic how you can't confess so deal or no deal: i had to do it, but the uglier bard ruined the whole plan so i turned you back."

diluc dusts imaginary dust off his cloak and grasps your hands. he looks down to his feet, still unsure of whether to do this or not. "well, you heard it all. it's a shame it couldn't be from me but-" he rambles. with other's he's confident, but with you he's a mess. "i hope you can accept my feelings. if not i understand, i'll go on with my day and you'll never have to see me."

he holds his breath, silently quivering with the lack of response you give. a hand lifts his chin up and he stares at your eyes, nervous.

you didn't say anything, but you smile and give his the warmest hug.

he knows the answer now.

he wraps his arms back, silently thanking kaeya for his idiotic plan. it's stupid, but it worked in the end.

BONUS!:

"KAEYA I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS"

kaeya swirls a gold goblet with sparkling grape juice inside. he wolfishly grins and holds his cup up with a hand. "a toast for master diluc! for finally confessing, if people can even call it that."

he lowers it, placing it on his lips but never drinking it. he grins under the cup seeing diluc's wand in his hand flaming red.

"it's not even my fault." kaeya starts to explain his bullshit to diluc, "you can blame yourself. honestly, it gets tiring seeing you pine for so long and avoiding them like you weren't childhood friends with them."

the tips of diluc's ears turn red, not wanting to agree with his brother, but it was true. he was hopeless in the romantic department by himself. he can reject thousands and millions of people. he can have who ever he wants, but you aren't "whoever." you're the most special someone to him and that made him scared.

kaeya hands his drink to diluc, "do i get a thank you?"

diluc scoffs, yet accepts the drink. "thank you," he quietly mutters.

part 3: thoma, zhongli

[doctor-mesmer]

(Don’t know if this is quite what you meant, Mun, but all your thoughts/ideas/interpretations on how Ada shows affection to different people (a friend vs family or even both of those vs Emil) n o w. 👀v👀??

tws for physical & emotional abuse

// affection, for the most part, is a difficult thing for ada. she's a very guarded person by nature. she doesn't like to feel exposed and vulnerable, she doesn't like for other people to know about her innermost troubles, and she especially doesn't like to be pitied. control is a very important thing to her after having been deprived of it for most her entire life, and part of that control is emotional mindfulness and choosing exactly what parts of herself are exposed to others.

she's a very introverted and solitary person. before ever meeting emil, she had a deeply unhealthy tendency to self-isolate outside of her profession and studies. her coworkers were never her friends. most of them were men, most of whom looked down on her, and outside of her studies, she never had any real social life.

her family was seldom affectionate. ada's mother died giving birth to her, and she was her father's only child. he raised her into a very one-track minded and focused academic. she was the only person he had to shoulder his weighty scientific legacy, and he treated her as such, piling on a mountain of expectation and rarely giving her praise for anything other than her successes in her field. even when she began to flourish, he berated her for choosing such a "sensitive" course of study. as she aged, she began to resent her father, to loathe his methodology, and to criticize him and argue to his face, which usually resulted in physical repercussion: she's been slapped more times than she can count. her rejection from her peers and her lack of interest in external society caused her, as she grew older, to become deeply reclusive and averse to socializing.

however, in the wake of it all, ada does have some friends she is faithful enough to rely on. helena is the closest person to her platonically. she expresses her affection for her in acts of service: she helps her navigate her surroundings, offers to cook for her and include her in the meals she makes for herself and emil, and gives her ideas for her novels. she often simply likes to enjoy helena's company. she encourages her to talk about her interests, and then she sits and listens, having little to contribute but being more than happy to absorb the information. she views helena as a very bright young woman with immense potential, and she's happy that someone as compassionate and kind as her is willing to be a friend.

with emil, ada is much more vulnerable than she is with anyone. such a deep understanding can never be matched by any other connection, and ada has never felt more seen than she does with emil, never felt more regarded, and never felt more loved. for him, she shows her love in acts of service, lifts him up with words of affirmation, and leans into physical touch. she cooks for him, takes care of him when he's unwell (she brings him medicine and drinks, she lays his head in her lap to stroke his hair, she ensures he knows she's with him for whatever he needs), comforts him as much as she can when he expresses how much he suffers. she loves to hold his hand, to link arms with him, and to hold him in her arms after a long day, settled in for the night. ada taught him how to read and write, and bought him a journal so that he would be able to express his thoughts and practice his penmanship and spelling. she uses her professional knowledge to help him find coping techniques that work for him.

and, above all? she shows her affection for him in her willingness to give up her life. she threw away her career, her potential, her entire life's work to take him away and make him happy, keep him safe and ensure he could heal. to her, emil is worth more than the world itself, and she shows her love for him in every way she can every day she breathes.

[qitwrites]

|| 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 

Midoriya is the one that begins the entire ‘nervous system compression’ ritual.

Back at the training camp, when he was banged and bruised and tattered to all hell, bumping into Shoji had been the best-case scenario. Being wrapped up in his many, many arms had cocooned Midoriya’s body from further damage, provided him with great mobility, and Shoji’s grounding personality had been a major reassurance during a frankly abysmal situation.

After they’d finally recovered Bakugou, and after that tragically big reveal of All Might’s biggest kept secret, something in Midoriya had broken.

He was still doing his best to train his quirk, he was still doing his best to exist and thrive alongside his classmates, to study and work hard and eat well and sleep on time. For the most part, he was himself, and he was doing ok.

But then there were the nightmares. Nightmares in which Bakugou misses Kirishima’s hand, or All Might dies at the hand of All for One, or Midoriya somehow fucks up and gives the League of Villains One for All. There’s visions of his friends laying dead at his feet, of the world burning to the ground, and the utter helplessness of letting his friends down, letting his teacher and his idol down, letting them burn.

Sometimes, the world exerts a pressure on Midoriya that would put Atlas to damn shame.

2 weeks after the Kamino incident, when Midoriya is sitting at his desk, his dumbbell moving up and down as he pores over his notes, a wave of anxiety, sudden and heavy, rolls over him and he can’t breathe. There’s not enough air in the room, in the entire world probably, and his vision tunnels, darkening around the edges. He drops the dumbbell and clutches his head, trying to get his breathing under control, but it isn’t working, and he can’t seem to hear or see or breathe.

Distantly, he remembers the training camp. His memories of that time are tainted by the agony he felt when Dabi had vanished with Bakugou in his grip. He doesn’t remember the more fun parts, the training and the cooking and the overall learning experience. He just remembers pain.

And then, a small part of him, so small he almost misses it, remembers warmth.

He remembers how warm Shoji was. He remembers feeling, amidst all the panic and chaos, a sense of safeness in Shoji’s arms. He remembers burrowing in that space against his back, and he knows, even though they failed, that he was only able to find a way to help Tokoyami because Shoji gave him his support, took care of him, supported his weight and his burden, if only for those few minutes.

He remembers how warm Shoji was. And he realizes, even as he’s choking for air, that he wants to feel it again.

The walk from his dorm to Shoji’s feels endless. He stumbles along and drags his feet, and he’s not really seeing at this point, moving mostly from muscle memory. He usually visits Todoroki and Uraraka in their rooms, but he’d memorized the entire layout within the first three days of moving in. Shoji lives two floors above him, right next to Kirishima.

When he finally gets there, he’s hollow and empty and there’s still not enough air. A flash of worry pierces through him because he doesn’t want to bother Shoji right now. He doesn’t even know if its ok, what he’s about to ask for. He doesn’t know if it’ll help, if it’s what he needs. He worries, the way he always does, and the air around him is disappearing faster, and he just wants to breathe.

Somehow, before he can talk himself out of it, he reaches up and knocks, pulling his hand away quickly.

10 seconds. He’ll give himself 10 seconds to wait and see if anyone answers, and then he’ll leave and never bother Shoji again.

Shoji comes to the door in 4.

He opens up, clad in pajama pants and nothing else, his iconic mask covering the lower half of his face even in his own room. He looks at Midoriya patiently.

‘I-‘ Midoriya chokes out, voice rough and scratchy. ‘I am having a panic attack.’

Shoji’s eyes widen marginally. ‘Whoa, ok. How can I help?’

If his vision hadn’t started to tunnel again as he hears Shoji say that Midoriya might’ve noted how easily Shoji had understood the situation, and how quickly he was asking Midoriya what he wanted, rather than doing whatever he thought was appropriate. He knew what he was doing. Clearly, he’d done this before.

Midoriya tries to breathe in, and it gets stuck somewhere in his chest and everything hurts but he starts to ramble, ‘I read in a scientific journal somewhere that our nervous system controls our emotions and that when we are anxious, there’s a dissonance in how we function and there’s a quick fix for it, well maybe not a fix, but more like a way to help, if only a little. It’s like a nervous system compression.’

Shoji listens to him with a furrowed brow before carefully asking, ‘Are you saying you want a hug? Will it help you if I hug you?’

To put it simply, yes. Midoriya wants a hug. Midoriya needs a hug. His body physically needs to be grounded because there’s not enough air and he’s going to pass out if his breath keeps getting stuck in his throat and his fingers are numb and the back of his neck is cold and it hurts.

Midoriya nods because the words are getting stuck in his throat.

Shoji opens his arms slowly, and Midoriya looks up. Shoji holds his gaze and carefully moves forward, keeping himself completely in Midoriya’s line of sight.

‘I’m going to hug you now,’ Shoji says, ‘and I’m going to hold you tight. If you want me to ease up, or get off, just tap me anywhere once. If you want me to tighten up, tap twice.’

Midoriya feels himself starting to hyperventilate and then -

Warm.

Shoji is so warm. He exudes heat, his skin soft and warm and alive. He wraps himself around Midoriya, and he blankets him from everything, driving away the light, the distant sounds of Ashido yelling at Kaminari, the cries of the cicadas, everything. He holds Midoriya against his chest, and he holds him tight. Shoji is strong, ridiculously so, and he knows Midoriya is strong too. He holds him with the kind of pressure that actually lets Midoriya breathe.

And so he does. His shoulders start to slump as he takes one deep inhale followed by another, measured and timed. He follows the rhythm of Shoji’s breathing, follows the rise and fall of his chest, and his fingers loosen up, warming slowly. Hesitantly, he brings his hands up and puts them around Shoji’s middle and receives an encouraging squeeze.

From there, the tension seeps out of him, slow and heavy, draining out of every jagged edge and every crack in his body. When he feels another wave of anxiousness, he taps Shoji’s back twice, and Shoji squeezes, hard enough that Midoriya’s breath stutters, but also hard enough that the anxiety slips away, almost tangible in its intensity. Belatedly he realizes that he’s been crying, but he can’t apologize when his face is smooshed against his friend’s chest.

After what seems like forever, Midoriya is breathing again. He feels somewhat normal. He feels as close to normal as possible, at least. He has feeling everywhere in his body. Nothing feels stuck in his throat, and his mouth isn’t dry. His tears have stopped, and his hands aren’t shaking. His heart is beating, fast and strong and slow. He takes in one more steadying breath before tapping Shoji’s spine once.

The arms around him loosen slowly, opening him back to the world. The overhead lights are bright, almost too much, but Midoriya looks straight ahead, right at Shoji’s chest as he pulls his arms off and steps back slowly. Shoji keeps his arms on Midoriya’s shoulders, and he waits. Patiently, he waits for Midoriya to speak, he waits for him to make the next move.

‘I’m ok,’ Midoriya says, rubbing at his eyes. He sees Shoji nod and pull away his arms, always in Midoriya’s line of sight.

‘That’s good. Can you see and hear properly?’ Midoriya nods. ‘Awesome! And your breathing is ok?’ Midoriya nods again.

‘That’s great Midoriya, well done.’

Midoriya barks out a watery chuckle, and then he remembers his tears.

‘Oh,’ he says, reaching into his pocket to pull out a handkerchief, ‘I haven’t used this yet. Please wipe off my tears and possible snot.’ He turns beet red with embarrassment.

Shoji doesn’t laugh though, or even look disturbed. He takes the offered cloth and wipes his chest gently.

‘No problem at all. I will give this back after washing it.’

Midoriya shakes his head, ‘It’s my snot, it’s fine! I can just…’

‘It’s ok, Midoriya. I’ve got it. Really not a problem.’

They stand by the door for a while longer, not speaking but not really needing to either. Shoji is just endlessly patient, and Midoriya is breathing again, and the world feels ok.

When he feels brave enough, Midoriya looks up and catches Shoji’s eyes.

‘Thank you.’ It’s quiet, but his voice doesn’t waver.

Shoji gives him a nod. His eyes are softer, just a little bit. ‘It was not a problem at all.’

Midoriya worries his bottom lip with his teeth before breathing out with a huff. ‘I, um, I was hoping I could, maybe, if this happened again, I could come back to you for a, you know, a nervous system compression? If you’re ok with it?’

Shoji’s eyes go softer still, and he holds Midoriya’s gaze the entire time as he says, ‘Absolutely. I’m here when you need me. Don’t forget that, ok?’

Midoriya gives him a smile, small and tentative but true, and Shoji squeezes his arm. They say their goodbyes in hushed tones and Midoriya walks back to his dorm slowly, feeling more aware of himself than he has in days.

That night, he doesn’t dream. It’s the best sleep he’s had since Kamino.

[bubmyg]

there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 

this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)

so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 

song request - lee sora ft suga

“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”

to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.

so far away - agust d ft suran

dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships

this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life

creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.

Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.

suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga

Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness

just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.

my universe - coldplay ft bts

Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night

this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.

also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool

people - agust d

Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret

Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries

super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.

28 - agust d ft niihwa

just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.

paradise - bts

Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much

a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me

interlude: shadow - bts

Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall

another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.

Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?

the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.

140503 at dawn - agust d

Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”

the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.

this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway

eight - IU ft suga

Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island

can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.

i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 

burn it - agust d ft max

I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage

of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?

i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello

outro: tear - bts

im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd

just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.

intro: never mind - bts

I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control

the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it

this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for

intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts

once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.

aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool

first love - bts

same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)

every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello, reece again

content warnings - stalking, emotional abuse, abusive friendship, the law, police, survivor guilt

just got home from making an official report with my campus police department about the “friend” i had who was stalking and emotionally abusing me for 8 months. you might not know or have experience with this, but is it normal to feel… worse after reporting or getting police involved? I feel guilty, like maybe I actually was over-exaggerating the whole thing, like he isn’t bad enough to sick the police on him. Friends and teachers told me to put a report down in case things escalated, but the officer was talking about cease and desists, protection against stalking orders, restraining orders, and title ix stuff. I feel overwhelmed, and just generally bad. They’re gonna contact him and inform him if he contacts me again they have grounds to arrest, and I just have so much anxiety surrounding the whole thing. They said I’m supposed to be “empowered” with legal options as a survivor/victim, but why does it make me feel more small?

Hi Reece,

What you described is very common. A lot of folks, myself included, feel that way after reporting to police or other authorities. Some people may feel great and empowered after, but a lot of people don't and that is okay. However you feel about it is valid, and you are not alone in that experience.

It sounds like the officer is taking the situation seriously, which should help keep you safe from this person moving forward. But it being taken seriously can create more anxiety too because there is still so much unknown since you cannot predict or control the actions of others.

My suggestion is to give yourself some room to process and heal. It takes time and there is often an adjustment period after something significant, like reporting. You may feel small and struggle, but that is okay. It will get better with time but in all honesty, it might suck for a bit. And that is not fun, but it is something that happens to a lot of people.

If you can, I suggest focusing on things that make you happy and relieve anxiety. Surround yourself with people who are safe and supportive. Try journaling, crafting, or going for walks. Those things seem little and like they can't help, but finding joy in small things often helps facilitate healing on a larger scale. Grounding techniques (found here) and other resources for coping (found here) might also be helpful.

I also recommend reading about imposter syndrome, this is a good article about it. A lot of the time as survivors, we can get in our head and convince ourselves that it maybe wasn't that bad or we are exaggerating. But truthfully, most people who are exaggerating something don't spend much time wondering if they are faking. The fact that you are concerned about that tells me that you went through something very real and I think you should give yourself more credit for getting through it. It also speaks volumes that others were worried enough to encourage you to report.

You have come this far, and that is incredibly brave. Be kind to yourself.

Hang in there, Reece.

Mod Emmett