#he was going to fall in love with a himbo eventually

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Edward Teach, looking at the dumbest man you've ever seen in your life: I can't believe I'm going to let him inside me later

Izzy: you know you don't have to

Ed: no, I want to

[asterias-record-shop]

♫ 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡… TASM!Peter Parker with the bingo prompt ‘himbo’?

alright, so the thing is I feel like peter is really book smart but he is so oblivious otherwise, like if someone flirts with him it goes completely over his head. so reader has been his best friend for years and recently has been trying to drop hints that she likes him, and eventually she gets fed up of him being so oblivious that she just kisses him and he gets all whiney and then they do the devils tango (i am so sorry i’m really awkward when requesting 😭) but could there also be a size and praise kink, as well as an oral fixation? (if you don’t feel comfy pls delete this!!)

i hope u have a good day/night 💕

—𓆩[my beautiful idiot]𓆪—

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[bingo masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

nvm anon honey i couldn't sleep without posting this, i hope you enjoy it!!!

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - TASM! Peter Parker x Best Friend! Fem! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, smut

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 4.7K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - You and Peter have been best friends for what seemed like eternity, and has been in love with you for what seemed like forever, but he’s not going to give up — no matter how much it seems like you don’t like him back. The kid you babysit though that is way too old to be babysat disagrees though, and tries to show him how much you were in love with him too.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - crossover time|| heavily inspired by this interview/edit with Will Poulter (love him so much) || cursing & foul language || mentions of violence || Peter gets hurt || whiny Peter is best Peter || smut warnings include oral, fingering, multiple orgasms, riding, praise, size kink, breeding kink, oral fixation, possessiveness, marking kink, biting, hickies, possibly more?

Miles was a helpless bystander between the two of you. It never worked out, not whenever Peter was too stupidly in love with you he never saw the hints that you dropped.

“Peter, I’m telling you, she’s in love with you!” Miles wanted to strangle the other Spider-Man, very very violently.

“I don’t… I don’t think she is,” Peter mumbles, a pout on his lips as he swirled pasta around his fork, one that you often made because it was his favorite. Was that not hint enough? You knew his favorite fucking pasta! “I don’t think I’m her type.”

“Who’s type?” You walked into the living room, plate in hand full of the cream based pasta you made on the side.

“Yours! Your type!” Miles grins. “Your type.”

“My type?” You hummed, thinking as you tap your chin. “My type… would be smart. Handsome, funny. Nerdy,” you look over at Peter who was still pouting. “Loves pasta.”

Miles slurps up some of the noodles, nodding. “I wonder who that could be!”

“Yeah, I wonder,” Peter mumbles, face falling as he scooped pasta into his mouth. “I wonder.”

“Really? In this room?!” Miles yells, moving his hands to gesture around the apartment. “I wonder?!”

Peter looked around, eyes narrowing. “You like Miles?”

How the fuck could he be so stupid?

“That’s it! I’m done!” Miles stood, looking at you. “He’s hopeless! Completely and utterly hopeless!”

You sigh, standing up too. “I could’ve told you that.”

You go around the couch, taking Peter’s finished plate of food as his face scrunches. “Who’s hopeless?”

“Oh baby,” you leaned down, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek. He didn’t think much of it, you did kiss him on the cheek often. “You are. You’re such a himbo.”

“A what? What’s a himbo?”

“It’s like… a beautiful idiot,” you press another kiss to his cheek, pulling back his chestnut hair from his face. “You’re my beautiful idiot.”

He pours as you walk away, Miles shouting out a goodbye as you finish your food and start cleaning up the dishes.

He didn’t want to be your ‘beautiful idiot’ — he wanted to be yours, overall and absolutely, he wanted to tick every box you ever wanted, he wanted to be yours. If he could, he’d want you to mark him as yours for forever and eternity, he just wanted you. He wanted a mark on him that said you owned him, just like you owned his heart for what seemed like forever.

“Peter? Don’t you have to go on patrol?” You yell out, snapping Peter out of his thoughts.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m going!” He goes into your room because he basically lived with you at this point, grabbing his suit and getting dressed with the door open.

“Peter?” You’re standing at the doorway, arms crossed as he stumbled into his suit, trying his best not to fall on his face. “Miles’ parents invited us over for dinner. I told them yes, you promise not to be late?”

“Yeah, I promise,” he grunted breathlessly as he quickly finished putting on his suit, looking around. “Where’s my mask?”

“Peter,” you say again, more stern this time as you walk over, bending down to pick up something from the ground. He froze when you stood in front of him, fixing his suit before handing him the mask. “Promise me you won’t be late.”

He smiled down at you, wide and his honey brown eyes shining. “I promise. Do I dress nice or casual?”

“Nicer than casual,” you say with a sigh, your hands rubbing against his chest to flatten out the suit, thinking about the fact he wore nothing underneath it. “I’m going to go over there early to help Rio cook, but I need you there by seven. Did you hear that? By seven. Dinner starts at seven-thirty, but I need you there by seven.”

He smiled, leaning down teasingly. “Yes ma’am. Whatever you say, I’ll be there by seven.”

You sigh, a smile on your face as you pat his chest. “Be safe, and take care of Miles if he tags along, okay?”

“I will.”

You both stay there for a few seconds, his eyes staring at your lips as you worriedly push your hands through his hair. You did it often, so much so that it became something you didn’t have to think about doing, or it was something you did when you were nervous.

What you both did were couple things, why weren’t you together? It was because Peter was too much of a beautiful idiot to know otherwise.

“Promise me you’ll be safe, and protect Miles if he goes. Don’t eat on your patrol, Rio is making the best food ever. And you have to be there by seven.”

“I promise,” he pushed your hair back behind your ear, leaning down to press a firm kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you at seven.”

“By seven!” You yell as he jumps out the window, sighing with a smile. “I swear, if you weren’t hot I would’ve stopped trying by now.”

It was seven-ten. Seven-fucking-ten. You helped Rio make arroz con gandules while she took care of the main course - chicken con sofrito - and she had also tasked you in making a grilled salsa. You were smashing it inside of the molcajete, the grinding and the scratching making Miles and his father wince.

“Y/N, honey do you want me to uhm… take over… that?” Jefferson asks as he comes closer to you.

“Nope,” you say as Rio dipped her fingers into the salsa and coughing. “Oh no, is it bad?”

“N-No,” she cleared her throat, coughing. “Just spicy, very spicy. Are you mad, honey?”

“You have no fucking clue,” you basically growled as Miles and Jefferson slowly stepped back.

“You have any clue where this kid is?” Jefferson whispers to Miles, looking over. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat that salsa.”

“I-I’ll find him,” Miles says, nodding. “Just… distract them.”

First, he checked your apartment. He looked around, searching for anything that would show Peter was home, and when he found nothing — it was to the streets he went. He changed quickly, already swinging out the window to find the beautiful idiot. It didn’t take him long, quickly going to their favorite spot and finding him lounging, snoring extremely loudly.

“Peter! Peter, what the hell are you doing?!” Miles slapped Peter through the mask, gasping when he saw the gashes and lacerations all over his body. “Holy shit, Peter!”

He snapped up, gasping as he looked around. “What time is it?”

“Like seven-thirty already dude!” He quickly looks around. “What happened?!”

“I was helping a bank robbery, got dammit, Y/N is going to kill me!” He tries to stand, groaning loudly as he holds his side.

“Stop moving! Stop! Y/N taught me how to stitch people up, just lay down!” Miles ordered the older Spider-Man, forcing him to lay back as he grabbed the medical supplies.

“There’s no point, they’ll heal soon enough, I need to get home. Y/N is going to kill me!” He quickly stood, the gashes already getting smaller and less deep. “Let’s go!”

Miles groans. “Am I the babysitter or you?!”

He swung after him, Peter quickly swinging into your room and looking through the dresser that held his clothes. “Oh, come on! Y/N moved my clothes around.”

“Y/N does your laundry?” Miles asks, groaning. “Do you not how in love with you she is?!”

“We switch on laundry duty! It was her weekend so I cooked,” he grabbed a button down, groaning. “Thank fuck she washed my favorite.”

He grabs some new underwear from the drawer, smiles face palming as he rushes to the restroom to get changed. “You're going to bleed through that!”

“No I’m not!” He yelled back, walking out in his new clothes. “I covered the stuff with gauzes.”

“Okay, go upstairs, I’m going to swing up to my room and change, alright?”

He nodded. “Right.”

They both went to Miles’ apartment in different ways, Peter knocking on the door and when it swung open, he smiled at you. You gasped when you saw his gashed face, quickly reaching up. “What happened?!”

“Bank robbery, I passed out on top of a building. So sorry I’m late.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, his hands settling on your waist. “Dinner going well?”

“I-I made a salsa, are you okay?” Your hands quickly cup his face, twisting and turning as you sigh. “Rio’s going to freak! God fuck, Peter!”

He laughed. “You have no reason to worry, honey. I’ll just say I… ran into a tree.”

“A tree?!”

“Look at that! Peter’s here!” Miles yelled, running forward. “Let’s eat!”

When everyone sat down at the dinner table, it was obvious something was a little off. “I uhm… how is work, Y/N?”

You clear your throat, nodding at Rio’s question. “It’s going really well! I’m really happy there.”

“Peter, you moved in with Y/N already?” Jefferson asked, scooping food into his mouth. “It’s about time.”

“What do you mean?” Peter paused his actions of stuffing his face, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

“Well… you both are dating, right?” Rio asked, looking over at Miles. “Mijo always told us you were…”

“No, we’re not,” you say, a sad smile on your face. “But Peter does basically live with me! He does my laundry, cooks, you know, normal stuff.”

“Normal… couple stuff,” Rio filled in. “You pay rent too?”

“I-I tried, but Y/N didn’t let me,” Peter says softly, shrugging. “She said that she didn’t need my help with it.”

It goes quiet for a minute before Miles laughs awkwardly. “Hey, guys! I passed my biology test!”

You smiled when Miles saved you both from the awkward moment, cheering as everyone continued to talk about how they knew Miles was going to pass. Peter wasn’t that into the conversation, he was extremely preoccupied.

You both did do a lot of couple stuff.

For fucks sake, you both even slept with each other. Why weren’t you both dating, why?

When dinner was done and a few drinks were put in after Rio forced Miles to go to bed, you both went back up to your shared apartment. You giggled as you opened the door, smiling back at him. “Do you want to watch a movie or go straight to sleep, what do you want to do?”

“Can I talk to you, Y/N?” He slowly takes your hand, pulling you toward your room.

You giggled, shrugging. “Well, straight to sleep it is then.”

He sat on the bed, parting his legs and pulling you between them making you giggle. “Everything okay?” You whisper, pushing his hair back as you leaned down to press your forehead to his. “I know something’s not. What’s up?”

“Why did you say we’re not dating?” He pouts up at you, a giggle falling from your lips. “Hey, it’s not funny! We… we do things that couples do, why aren’t we a couple? I know… I know you might not-”

“For fucks sake Peter, shut up.”

He gasped as you pulled his face up, your lips pressing to his as your nails softly press into his skin, soft but firm all at once. He groaned loudly, his hands pulling you closer before you pulled away, a whine falling from his lips. “What’re you doing?”

His words were almost slurred together even though the alcohol he drank had little to no effect on him. It makes you laugh as he leaned up, pressing more kisses to your lips before he pulled your body solidly against his own, fixing your position so that you sat on his lap and your hands were around his neck. “What baby, you don’t want me to stop kissing you?”

He hummed, shaking his head. “No, you can’t… ‘s unfair.”

You started to laugh even harder as he basically whined, trying to pull you down for more kisses. You hummed as he started to lay back, hands pushing through his hair. “I need you… I need you, Y/N.”

You rose a brow, rolling your hips into his. “Need? Need’s a big word, baby,” you respond, smiling down at him as he groaned into your neck. He shifts you both so that you were laying on your back, leaning down to keep kissing your lips.

He was addicted, now that he had one taste, he never wanted to stop. His tongue pushed into your mouth, desperately swirling his own around yours as you groaned into his mouth, the minute he pulled away was when you swallowed the mixed saliva gathered at the back of your throat. You hummed as he leaned down, his lips pressing to your for a quick kiss, going over and over again with small breaks in between.

“Peter,” you giggled, his mere hum the only proof he was listening. “Are you just going to kiss me or are you going to get a little adventurous?”

He pauses, tilting his head. “Adventurous?”

You laughed. “Fuck, my beautiful idiot,” you pulled him down for another kiss, your teeth grazing his deliciously making him groan before you pulled away. “You can put that mouth to better use somewhere else.”

He paused, his mind taking a minute to process. “Oh. Oh, yeah!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he quickly pressed one last kiss to your lips before letting his lips slowly, slowly trail down your body while slipping off your clothes, his nimble fingers leaving a trail of fire on your now bare body. He paused as he stared down at you, his eyes dark and pupils blown as he inhaled.

“So fucking beautiful.”

His words make you groan, hands pushing your thighs apart as his head slowly pushes between them, his mouth already hot on your cunt. Your eyes rolled back, his tongue already exploring your wetness and his fingers pushing into your slit, smearing all of it up and down before settling it on your clit.

He wasted no time, groaning as your hands thread through his hair, holding onto his brown curls like the were handles and your thighs settling on his shoulders. He paused though, pulling away making you whine softly, head tilted again. “This is okay, right? I should’ve asked.”

Fuck, why was he so fucking adorable? “Yes honey, this is okay. More than okay.”

He smiled widely, biting his lip. “Good, because your cunt tastes even better than your mouth.”

You gasped as he pushed his face between your legs again, his lips latching on your clit as he pushed a finger inside of you. Your back arches, eyes widening before they roll back into your head, his finger pushing and pumping trying to find the right rhythm, teasing you. He gasps as you tug on his hair, pushing your hips up into his mouth as he groans against your clit, the vibrations making you shiver.

“F-Fuck, Peter.”

He hummed, enjoying the feeling of your cunt clamping down on his finger, curling it inside of you to feel your body writhe underneath his touch. His eyes roll back as a shiver runs down his back, groaning into your clit that he never let his mouth off of for too long, only shifting his head to get into a new angle. You tasted so fucking good, your swollen clit evidence of his torment, but there was something else. Something he couldn’t describe, he could feel you, all of you.

He could feel every clench of your walls, every shiver that ran up your back. He could hear every stutter of your breath, the skip of your heartbeat, every soft whimper you tried to hide as that one finger continues to find every pleasure spot that not even you knew existed. He could taste you with every lick, every suck of his mouth, his teeth even grazing your sensitive skin if he got too focused.

He finally pulls away from your clit, a thick string of saliva attaching your swollen bud of muscles to his lips, your hips bucking as he stares at your greedy cunt trying to suck his fingers back in every time he pulls out. He groans loudly as the shiver running down his back gets stronger, and the twisting of your stomach turns tight, your thighs shaking as your hips rut into his fingers until his mouth joins the actions of sucking on your entrance as another finger attempts to push into your pussy.

You gasped as your hips bucked without warning, your spongy walls enveloping both of his digits, and your mind blurring from how hard the orgasm hits you. Peter doesn’t even stop though, groans falling from his lips as he pulls out his fingers making you whine, your attempts to ride your hips into them failing. His tongue pushes into you though, a gasp leaving your lips as you automatically tighten your thighs around his head, not that he was complaining.

He could be like this for hours, his tongue pushing into you as his thumb rubbed circles into your overly-sensitive and swollen clit, hard but focused and his fingers pushed back into you. His tongue never stopped moving though, flicking and lapping, his mouth sucking and popping sensually against your pussy, groans that sent vibrations from your pussy straight to the growing knot in your stomach making you whine.

You had just cum, but it wasn’t like he had probably even cared about what it would do to your body, how sensitive it would make your body to every movement he made. His mouth sucked on the opening of your cunt, opening his mouth wide to push his tongue into you as your hips buck into his mouth. Your fingers tug on his hair, whimpering as he rolled your clit between his thumb and pointer with his other hand, his tongue thrusting into you as far as he could, an ache forming in his jaw as he tried to get his mouth anywhere and everywhere on your body.

He could feel the sparking along his spine again, your stomach clenching all over again as his fingers rubbed against that sensitive spot inside of you. His fingers twist, curling inside of you as he tries to push another finger into you, the stretch making you scream out as a shiver runs down his spine, a shaky groan leaving his lips as he swallows everything leaking out of your cunt.

He wanted more. He wanted to taste everything coming from your cunt, everything you had, just everything. He didn’t want to stop, his third digit pushing into you and the squelching filled his ears, his breathing heavy and panting into your cunt. His thumb continues its torment on your clit, rubbing and the shocks running through your body as your thighs shake and fingers shakily scratch against his scalp.

Your body was coated in sweat, stomach tight as his fingers edged you onto the climax of another orgasm, they always came quick after the first. Your body was sensitive all from him, your nipples hard and pebbled from the cold air of your room, bottom lip bitten raw from trying to hold back your moans before he squeezed at your clit - the only thing he needed to do to get you to start moaning out for him.

He loved the sounds you made, getting drunk off of your moans and whines combined with the taste of your arousal and your cunt making his dick hard and his senses overflow. He pushed his three fingers into you as deep as he could, all the way to his knuckles to watch your cunt convulse and feel those same sparks on his spine.

“Peter! Peter wait, Peter- fuck!”

Your third orgasm brought you to tears, vision going black as you squeezed your thighs together, hands gripping his chestnut curls as you tried to steady your breathing. He hummed into your cunt, softly patting your clit making you yelp in surprise, parting your legs to watch as he slowly pulled away. “Are you alright?”

You stared at him, almost dumbfounded. “Y-You… you just ate me out and made me cum three times and you’re asking if I’m alright?”

His brows furrowed as he leaned up, wiping his mouth before licking the back of his hand where all your juices went and kissing under your eyes. He was careful not to get too close to your actual eyes, just in case, only kissing where tears fell. “You’re crying. I don’t like it when you cry.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck after he slowly pulled off his shirt and tugged his pants down to his ankles before kicking them off. “I’m crying out of pleasure. You make me feel so good, Peter.”

He smiled widely down at you, leaning lower to press another kiss to your lips. “Well, I want to make you feel better. Especially with how good you’re making me feel, princess, you make me feel so good. Make me so happy.”

“W-Wait!” Your voice was loud, surprising him as he stared up at you in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“I-I… I want to ride you. Please?”

He pauses, but nods with a smile. “Alright. But you can’t be gentle. Don’t be gentle. I want it all.”

You nodded, laughing loudly as he twisted you both over, helping you steady yourself over his aching cock. It was long, thick and veiny, tip red and leaking precum in desperation as he whined, bucking his hips. You giggled, slowly wrapping your hand around his before he nodded and watched as you slowly sunk down.

You gasped, nodding as he slowly pushed into you, his head tilting back and his mouth falling open. Your eyes rolled back into your head, vision blurring as his girth stretched you out even more, every time you thought he bottomed out the more he kept pushing. You whined loudly, hands pushing against his chest as he groaned loudly, eyes wide as he tried to catch his breath.

His body was sheening with sweat, a smile blooming on his face as you dug your nails into his chest, scratching against his skin as you tried to compose himself. This is what he wanted when he wanted you to claim him, he wanted your nails to scratch on his body, your mouth to leave hickies and bite marks, he wanted to be yours.

He watched as you slowly started to bounce on his cock, his eyes staring at your bouncing tits before letting them wander down your body, staring at the bulge on your lower stomach. He hissed loudly as you got harder, fixing your position as your clit rubbed against his pelvis, eyes rolling back.

Your cunt felt just as good wrapped around his cock as it did wrapped around his tongue and fingers, every movement had it squelching and convulsing around his shaft, loud groans falling from his lips as his large hands settled on your hips, thumbs settling on that giant bulge on your stomach.

He watched your mouth fall open as you screamed out, fixing both of your positions to buck his hips up into you and watch your boys fall forward. He kept your body against his, flipping you both over to wrap his arm around your body and press his face into your neck, groaning loudly into your skin as your nails dragged against his back.

He thrusted as hard as he could, desperate to find his climax as your body bounced with this thrusts, loud moans leaving your lips with each thrust and his name falling from your lips over and over. “Yes baby, you’re doing so good. Your cunt is so fucking good baby, I love the way you feel around my dick,” he groans, gasping as your mouth pressed to his skin. “Fuck, fuck yes princess, I want to be covered in you. Want your hickies and your kisses, your scratches and your bites, I don’t care, I want to be covered in you.”

You obviously didn’t expect him to be so into marking, but of course, you weren’t going to say no. You sucked bright purple marks on his skin, digging your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your screams as the bed slammed into the wall, the squelching of your cunt and the slaps of skin against skin echoing against the wall was enough chorus of your sex.

You could feel his dick driving into the deepest parts of you, stretching your cunt so that if you looked down you could see the bulge that just seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Your eyes rolled back as his fingers rubbed against your clit, whispers of praise falling from his tongue as those same sparks ran up his spine, his stupid little mind finally connecting the dots. “Are you about to cum? Are you about to cum baby?”

You nodded your head into his marked up neck, your tongue slowly licking against the bite mark on his neck as you whined into his neck. “Fuck, fuck Peter! Fuck, I can’t, I can’t!”

“Yes you can baby, you can,” he whispers, pulling away to hold your chin. “Look at me fucking you baby, don’t you want me to keep fucking you? I’ll make you feel better than you make me feel, I’ll fuck you so good. I’ll pump all my cum inside of you and you’ll be such a perfect girl for me and take all of it, right?”

Your eyes rolled back, mouth lulling open as you nodded mindlessly. “Yes! Yes, I will, I’ll take all of it!”

“Fuck, fuck Y/N, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to cum inside of you, fill you up and watch all of my cum make your stomach bulge,” his voice gets huskier, almost like a growl as his thrusts get rougher, messier. “Fucking hell!”

You screamed this time, watching as he completely pulled out of you just to slam back in, your mind blurring as he continued to pull out and slam back in. You could feel your thighs shaking, that knot in your stomach threatening to break. “Peter, Peter! I’m going to cum, I need to cum!”

“No!” He whined, shaking his head as he started to get faster, his hips rough as his hands held your sides, eyes rolling back. “I’m gonna cum, cum with me. Please honey, I want to feel you, I need it.”

A final scream falls from your lips as he bottoms out, eyes rolling back and body shaking as your fourth orgasm absolutely blurred your mind, endless babbles leaving your lips as he panted above you. He stared down at your stomach, the bulge that shouldn’t have been able to get bigger successfully larger. “Fuck honey, look at what I did to your pretty tummy.”

You did, your mind still slightly hazy, but your mouth fell open when you saw the bulge and a whine fell from your lips. “Y-You’re still hard.”

He smiled. “It’s from the spider bite.”

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© asterias-record-shop

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ povlnfour masterlist

ੈ✩‧₊˚ SMAUS

.jpg (just propose goddamnit)

lando’s childhood sweetheart has long since been the subject of his photography account. fans just can’t wait to see one specific post from the couple in the future

how do you turn this thing off?

fans love when you make appearances in landos streams. it’s usually because he doesn’t know where something is, and the internet goes crazy over their favorite certified himbo. on one stream, you get a taste of your own medicine when lando tasks you with turning the live feed off, and fans get a little more of an insight into your relationship

crash landing

lando accidentally hits a stranger with his car — the internet can’t stop referring to it as a meet cute. (un)fortunately for lando, mclaren agree.

tales of candor

lando’s girlfriend has a secret identity. she’s not quite the girl next door everyone assumed, and he might just be the inspiration for more than just her instagram captions.

everybody talks

lando eventually lands the girl of his dreams. he also finds out just how fast news travels

paddock to paddock (complete)

in which two athletes in different disciplines find a common ground

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ONE SHOTS

overdrive

a practical stranger is determined to change your opinion on cars (and maybe make you fall in love in the process)

end up here

a night out, a long walk home, and a pretty stranger happy to accompany you

ੈ✩‧₊˚ SMAUS

secret love song

an anonymous account starts posting photos found on a private account supposedly belonging to f1 superstar charles leclerc. as the photos start circulating, an unknown face joins the picture that leads to speculation charles has a girlfriend he’s been hiding.

content creation

when ferrari hire a new content creator to help their social media presence, fans start noticing a certain friendship developing between her and their star driver.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ONE SHOTS

coming soon…

ੈ✩‧₊˚ SMAUS

beached!

after oscar saves you from an embarrassing accident on the beach, you accidentally go viral

study break

oscar piastri is a formula 1 driver. y/n is an international relations student. her friends find her relationship pretty hard to believe. especially when she can’t tell them any details for you know… nda reasons.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ OTHER DRIVERS

i currently have no fics posted for other drivers, however i will also be writing for: alex albon, lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel

[luvrxbunny]

all brawn ─ ★ miguel o’hara x f! reader

a/n: i actually don’t have anything to say but i just feel like i have to have an authors note 💃🏾

wc: 585

warnings: 18+ MNDI, light degradation(?), mentions of sex, himbo-ism

-> miguel who’s all brawn and no brain. like he’s this huge mountain of muscle but he’s just not very bright. so when he meets you he’s like putty in your hands. he’ll do anything you ask. he becomes like your little guard dog, he’s constantly wanting praise and direction from you. he wants to save you from anything that could potential hurt you. he follows you around like a puppy.

✶ he’s very touchy, always draping himself over you and whining when you don’t give him enough attention. eventually he gets fed up with your neglect and just pulls you into the nearest private space.

✶ he’s submissive in the bedroom but not really in the way most would assume. he doesn’t really let you take the lead or anything but he does everything in his power to make sure you cum, that you’re satisfied and as brainless as he is. he’ll listen to any direction you give ofc, but he takes matters into his own hands every time.

-> he knows he’s not too smart too, he constantly asks you for help with things and is always embarrassed. but falls in love as you explain them to him, never making him feel dumb and always using a soft tone with him.

he said something particularly stupid once. he thought bees literally created flowers or something and you called him “your dumb baby” as a joke before explaining but it really turned him on.

✶ sometimes if you’re feeling extra dominant you’ll tease him as he pounds into you. asking him if he can even think anymore. if there’s anything going on in his head. it has him moaning in your ear every time.

✶ he’s good at a few things and is smart in those subjects, cooking being one of them. so he cooks for you all the time, and looses his mind when you praise him over the food. telling him how talented he is, how you could never make a meal this delicious.

✶ he kinda loves how much smarter you are. he likes when people ask him things and he gets to say “let me go ask my girlfriend”

✶ he’s never made any mistake when it comes to you though. he’s very smart in the subject of you.

-> there’s always someone who thinks he’s too dependent on you. they’ll make a comment along the lines of “jeez, let him answer some questions.” or to Miguel they’ll say “are you gonna let her think for you?” and it always upsets him. he has no problems with letting you think or talk for him, he prefers it.. always.

if a heckler catches him in an off day it really gets to him. he starts to feel like he puts too much work and pressure on you by having you do all his thinking for him. so he starts trying to think for himself but just ends up getting upset and the limits of his mental ability.

-> you can always tell when someone has said something to him. he’s more irritable that way, a little snappy. you have to catch him at a prefect time to make it better.

you have to sneak up behind him while he’s cooking and wrap your hands around his waist, telling him how good the food smells and feeling his chest puff up in pride. you keep bombarding him with the compliments and feel his breathing slowly speed up.

once efficiently working him up, you slide your hands into his pants. you touch him softly, teasing so he gets fed up and takes you over the counter or on the counter.

you let him use you to fuck all the thoughts out of his own head.

[toomanybrainrots]

Right. So, guess who had apparently deleted all their asks at like 1:00 AM?

Yup, that’s me! I decided to be a sleep deprived idiot and deleted every single one of my asks and I JUST REALIZED.

Thankfully, I still remember the requests so I will be doing that. If you’re one of the people who sent in a request, I’m so sorry and I will be trying to actually answer your request however they will all be headcannons. If you want it to be a oneshot, please send in another request without being anonymous, confirming you’re indeed the one who sent the request and I will gladly make it one.

Rodimus with a Jock Cybertronian Reader that he’s trying to woo

Himbo falls in love with another himbo

Rodimus…wasn’t actually surprised that he ended up in love with you(which surprised him!)

He could understand it. You two were close, and he ended up liking your sillyness, sweetness, and charming personality

He didn’t think he could end up sounding like such a sap but here he is

He tries to woo you by taking you out hanging out with you and going to do your favorite things

Or he randomly gives you puzzles, whether you’re just training and he walks in and just gives you one, or you’re hanging out in the command center and plops one in your lap

It’s always at random times so you never expect it, but you like it anyways

Eventually, you caught on what he was trying to do, so you decided to do the thing that was the best option

You asked him out

“Hey, Rods, wanna go meteor surfing?” You peeked your head into the command center. Upon hearing your question(or just hearing the word meteor surfing), Rodimus turned around and gave you a big grin

“You know I’m always up for meteor surfing!” Rodimus said with an enthusiastic tone. Your lips curved into a smile as you caught his spoiler perking up.

“Great, it’s a date!” You walked down the hallway. Rodimus stood there, frozen, as your words started registering in his processor

“WAIT WHAT—“

Safe to say, he was surprised at the sudden question and was very flustered when you confirmed that he heard right

But he certainly wasn’t complaining when you did go on that date

It was the best day of his life.

[97keanu]

figure skating for the first time x keanuverse ? ⛸️🤍🎄❄️

*˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ohohoho this is perfect !!!! Thank you for asking, I've had this on my mind for a bit now! (And I may also be writing a fuller fic for such a thing with reader x young!JW :3c) John Constantine, Kevin Lomax, and Neo undercut! Pure fluff!

❄️.*ㅤ Since he's on my mind, older John would love going ice skating with you! He's probably done it at least once himself, and if not, with as skilled as he is as working his body through the movies, I think he would manage just fine! I also have a head canon that when he grew up with The Director, they didn't seperate teaching ballet by gender of who was there (no "just girls learn ballet, boys learn how to kill" deal.) So, I like to think of John Wick as someone who can do all he does because he also has a rigorous background in learning ballet, having those precise body movements, knowing how to work every muscle in his body to his advantage.

Therefore, I would like to imagine that John takes you to the nearest rink (or perhaps a lake he knows that's more private?) And actually helps to teach you how to skate better (or how to at all if you don't know how!). He would be patient, watching you and only stepping in when you need it, his arms wrapping around your waist or steadying your elbow.

Eventually, you're doing it on your own, and John is there watching you, a smile creeping on his face from being able to teach you something so intimate to him. He actually has to be the one to stop you once the night starts setting in, the temperature getting way too cold to stay out in much longer.

He takes you back to his mustang and already has a fuzzy blanket there to wrap you in. You in the night back at his apartment, drinking a late night coffee and John listening to you giggle about how much fun you had with a warm heart.

❄️.*ㅤTed Logan however, lives in sunny California, so they don't see snow or ice often enough for ice skating to be a regular ordeal. He is your skater boyfriend however, so when you do end up finding a indoor rink to take him too, he thinks he will be pretty good at it from the get go. And he isn't horrible, he knows how to balance well and tries to stay up right, but it's actually so different from riding his skateboard or even rollerskates that it takes him a moment or two to get really good at it. Once he has it down though, he's skating around, pulling you by your hands until you two are laughing and doing goofy circles around the rink. Eventually, his himbo-ness gets the best of him, and as he's admiring how pretty your hair looks under the ice rink lights, he slips, bringing you down with him. He takes the harder of the fall, you fall on top of him with rosy cheeks and a smile already forming from how silly your boyfriend can be. You two end up laying there and laughing in the middle of the rink for way too long, maybe even annoying a few other skaters, but you two couldn't care if you tried. The night ends with the two of you warming up at a nearby cafe with hot cocoa and plans to try it again sometime.

❄️.*ㅤJohn Constantine would flat out refuse to go ice skating with you. Your big doe eyes would plead with him, but that's not going to change his mind. You tell him how much you enjoyed going as a child, how you love to ice skate, but you're not going to find a Los Angeles city boy like him on an ice rink anytime soon. Or, are you?

Maybe after his refusal, he takes on a demon hunting case that just so happens to lead him to a hockey rink. When the chase leads you two there, you don't see John stop to think about what he's doing as he tries to run out onto the ice. You go after him, your sneakers sliding and skidding on the slippery surface, but your years of practice skating have you able to keep your balance. To your dismay, ahead of you, Constantine is not someone who's trained in such things, and for the first time ever(and probably the last), you see Constantine fall flat on his ass. You easily skid by, reaching out a hand to help him up, and he can't deny grumbling a 'thank you". By the time you're ready to resume chase, the demon is gone.

"See? If we had just gone skating last Saturday, maybe you would have been prepared for this type of thing!" You know you shouldn't rub it in, but you can't help pointing out the truth.

"Yeah, yeah," Constantine carefully finds his way to the rinks edge, and gets out onto non-slippery flooring. "Okay, Maybe I'll take you next time..."

You squeal with joy and the two of you end the night with you having a hot tea in his apartment and Constantine taking a whiskey and nursing his bruised backside.

❄️.*ㅤKevin Lomax is not one for ice skating. Our good southern boy hasn't even roller skated a day in his life, and he's not about to trade his cowboy boots for a pair of blades.

"Please, Kevin! I really want to go skating!" You pester him, and eventually he caves, lucky that New York gets more snow than Florida.

He wraps you, and himself, up tight in winter clothes, and bites back complaints about how cold it is. He takes you to a local spot that he's heard of, and only a few other couples are out at the rink. Good, less people to have to see him fall on his ass when this goes awry.

He still has to maintain the confidence of a business man, so he keeps his lawyer smile on and helps you into your skates. At first, he let's you go ahead and skate without him, watching you perform moves he is actually pretty entranced with. When you pull your leg up over your head, he actually gives a holler out of support("Yeah that's my wife/girlfriend!").

Eventually, when everyone else has left, you persuade him into trying on a pair of skates, and to your surprise, he does. You gently take him out onto the ice, and for a few moments he's actually doing it! You let go gently, and he glides by himself, able to get down the simple movements, but nothing too crazy. In the end, you two do slow circles in the middle of the rink, face to face with each other. Kevin looks deeply in your eyes, and you're happy he's obliged your silly request. He leans in for a kiss, and you feel your legs shake on your skates. To your surprise, you're the one who's lost your balance first, and Kevin catches you with a laugh.

"Too much for you, darlin'?" He whispers with that husky southern voice, and the redness in your cheeks isn't just from the cold anymore.

The two of you end the night at a fancy dinner spot, something expensive, decorated in holiday spirit and the sound of a live pianist and violinist playing soft Christmas tunes.

❄️.*ㅤNeo lives in Chicago, so he's no stranger to the cold or navigating ice. I believe he likely has gone ice skating before, probably as a child, but hasn't done that in many years. When you ask him, he's apprehensive, but it doesn't take much begging for him to agree.

He takes you to a spot that's supposed to be the best experience, and only after you two have bought your tickets do you realize it's PACKED. There's way too many people here for Neo's comfort, or yours for that matter, and after about an hour of trying to find your way onto the ice where you two can have some alone time, you see it's not going to happen tonight and give up.

Neo makes it up to you by taking you to your favorite dinner spot. It's an enjoyable date night still, but he can tell how badly you wanted to go and can see the disappointment that you couldn't.

So, after about a week, he tells you that he's taking you out for a surprise.

When you arrive to this mystery destination, you realize it's the same ice rink. You ask him why, knowing it's another Saturday and it will be packed just like before, but Neo motions to the lack of people in the parking lot.

"What...?" You say as you begin to piece things together. "How did you...?"

"We have the whole place to ourselves. I took out every ticket just for us." He says slyly, obviously proud of this feat.

"What do you mean? That has to be crazy expensive!" You know Neo is well enough off, but that sorta price is excessive even for him.

"Well, their website for buying tickets was particually hard to hack..." He looks over at you with a smirk and smiles big when you throw your hands around his neck, gleeful for his talent tonight.

"No! You didn't! Neo..." You say into his neck giving him a big squeeze. "Thank you..."

The two of you head inside and are treated like unknown celebrities, putting on an air of being such, and trying to remain lowkey. You both have fun pretending to be people you're not, and Neo skates alongside you easily, even taking the risk of dipping you back and twirling you a few times. You're surprised your typical home dwelling boyfriend could be so suave and savvy, but you enjoy it nonetheless. You get hot drinks at a concession stand, and eat pretzels and Chicago style hotdogs to your content.

[gabessquishytum]

I'm having a galaxy brain moment: Winter Soldier AU 👀

Hob and Dream both grew up together in the same neighborhood. Initially, Hob was the lanky one, as he was from a family significantly more poor than Dream. But he always fought everything and everyone, especially those who dared pick on Dream. His beautiful, dark, lonely friend.

When they grow up, Hob wants to be a soldier, fight in wars, but his physique doesn't let him. Dream, who volunteers at the same time, is sent to the front, to their mutual dismay as they are now separated.

Until a scientist named Death because the experiments haven't gone tremendously well sees Hob and asks him if he wants to be their next lab rat for their "Immortality Serum", a treatment that will make him incredibly strong and pretty much indestructible. Hob, being the Himbo we know and love, and thinking how impressed Dream will be with his new muscles, says yes.

Cut to Hob in tight Spandex and other cute outfits being shipped to the front, where he is reunited with Dream. On a mission together, Dream falls off their train and is declared dead. What's worse, right before hia descent he told Hob he loved him.

Hob is devastated. His one true love is gone, there is little for him to move forward. Eventually he crushes into some ice, and is declared Deep Frozen, until 100 years later.

The reason he was defrosted? He is believed to be the only one able to go after The Winter Soldier, a deadly assassin hiding behind a horrifying mask who seems to be taking orders from some dark master he can't refuse. It's because his master, Burgess, is using some specific magic words and runes that bind Dream to him.

Yes, the Winter Soldier is Dream. Deprived of his memories, his empathy, his identity. Hob doesn't know who he is, and they fight, until during a hand-to-hand he curses a swearword that was an inside joke between him and Dream. The Soldier freezes, and in that split second Hob is able to remove his mask. Imagine his shock when he sees Dream, his Dream, staring back at him with no recognition. But it is Dream, without any doubt. Nobody has eyes this blue, lips this pink, skin this beautifully pale.

He weeps for his friend, both happy he is still alive but also desperate because he isn't his friend? The Soldier goes back to trying to kill him, and Hob is about to let him finish the job, he won't fight Dream, he won't hurt him ever ever ever.

That gives the Soldier pause, he doesn't understand why his target doesn't fight back. That gives Hob hope, that maybe his beloved is still in there.

How will Hob bring him back?

Ahhh, this is a great au for them!! Mostly because I want to see Hob’s butt in the spandex. He would definitely cheer on the morale of the troops!

And Dream would look so cool in the Winter Soldier gear, maybe with his hair grown out and flying wildly around his face. Fighting hard against the brain washing as he tries to remember why this unfamiliar man might be important to him. None of it makes any sense, and Dream is just so tired. Burgess doesn't let him sleep properly, and although it doesn't impact his physic capabilities, it's just another method of torture because his mind can't rest. He can't dream.

He stops fighting Hob, because he's confused and because he's tired. He steps back. Hob sees an opportunity, and he seizes it! He starts telling stories from their childhood. All the games they invented, the raven that Dream nursed back to health, all the times Hob got beat up by other kids because he defended Dream’s "weirdness". Everything he can remember, finishing up with the moment Dream finally declared his love for Hob. Hob is weeping the whole time as he speaks, and Dream just listens in stoic silence.

And then his eyes fix on Hob’s face. There's the barest hint of recognition amid those dazzling blue irises. He's fighting hard against the magic. "I never got to hear your answer. If you loved me too, or not." He whispers.

"I did." Hob manages to sob. "And I still do."

And maybe it's enough to break the magic, at least for a moment. And even if Hob can't save Dream, at least he'll know. That he's loved. Even if Hob can't save him, Dream will fight for that love with his own hands, until he's free of Burgess. Hob’s fought for Dream often enough, and now it's Dream's turn to fight for him.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Adolin Kholin:

HIMBO SUPREME!! Fights with a giant-ass fantasy sword. Unlike everyone else, he does not have superpowers, but he is REALLY GOOD AT SWORD!!! Best duelist in the kingdom, doesn’t want to go to war, just wants to be a jock. He’s still really good at war tho. Once took on a 4 on 1 duel in the most epic chapter ever written and won (ish). Befriends the sword. Her name is Maya. Befriends everyone he meets, actually. One character really wants to hate him, but can’t cuz he’s just genuinely a nice dude.  Super supportive of his girlfriend, knows she’s a girlboss. Talks to his dad’s horse. Probably bi. 

His church lets you pick One Thing to train yourself in, his is magic sword fighting (and hes only second to his father in it) on book 2, chapter whitespine uncaged, he fought basically (his friend helped but was super unprepared)  4 on 1 with an unfair judge and WON

He's almost canonically bi Loves his wife *SPOILERS* Loves his sword so much he resurrected her immortal soul

Omg he LOVESS swords so much. Which sword? Any and all. He talks to his sword before duels, he brings like 30 different blades on a mission and when prompted starts info dumping about what each of them is useful for. His ideal date - sword training his fiance. He is THE sword guy. And also him and Shallan are so bi4bi <3

For Nicky:

Nicolò di Genova (aka Nicky) is an immortal warrior who was raised to become a catholic priest and fight in the Crusades with his two-handed long sword. There, on the opposite side of the crusade invasion, he meets Yusuf al-Kaysani (aka Joe), who is of a religion that Nicky was raised to hate. After killing each other, coming back to life and killing each other countless times, they eventually make peace, learn each other languages, become friends, and fall in love. They now fight alongside each other in the Old Guard as the immortal husbands (paralleling Andromache and Quyuh’s immortal wives duo). They will do anything for each other and their found family. Nicky is deadly efficient with his longsword as well as with any weapon/hand combat. Nicky and Joe once took out a truck full of armoured guards while handcuffed. Nicky is very caring and empathic but tough when he needs to be (is able to fight despite being experimented on for days) and is worthy of the title of best gay swordsperson <3

He’s very neat

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Iris's, "You've turned into such a respectable man" line to Phoenix is so sweet but so funny at the same time, because it's like. Did you fall in love with him despite him not being respectable in your eyes before, Iris. Did you look at him and go, "omg he's so stupid", only for that to eventually turn into "omg... he's so stupid 🥺💘🥺💘🥺💘". Are you a moronsexual, Iris. Was Feenie your first himbo.

[smartycvnt]

First love hcs with Nick Wayne please?

You meet Nick backstage at an AEW show

There aren't really ever any guys at the shows who are around your age range, so you decide not to let the opportunity pass you up

You talk to Nick for about an hour and get his Snap before he has to go out with Christian for a segment.

The two of you talk for about two weeks before someone tells him whose daughter you are

It's not a huge deal, but Nick is really nervous about taking you out or someone getting the wrong idea

You had dated a few guys at your wrestling school and normal school before, but none of them treated you like Nick did

The two of you were always making each other laugh and smile

It was really easy to fall in love with Nick, and the realization hit you like a Mack truck

Nick doesn't say it first, but he definitely replies like it was on the tip of his tongue when you tell him that you love him

Eventually, something stupid breaks the two of you up, but there's something between the two of you long after your relationship is over

Both of you dance around getting back together because you're not sure if the other one wants to

A year after you break up, Nick asks if you'll give him a second chance since he feels like he actually has time for you now that he's not in a super important feud anymore

Tag List: @himbos-hotline @thepalaceofmelanie @allyinwonderland18 @bruiseviolent

[the-scythes-pen]

Their Dirty Secrets is amazing! I love it! ❤

Ya got any dirty secrets for our local himbo Diavolo?

Also, the mirror thing with Lucifer, and the collar with Satan... uwu

Thank you for the feast!

OwO senpai noticed me- ahem.

I was planning on writing some for the dateables soon, but I can definitely write Diavolo now... ;)

Warnings: noncon, somnophilia, memory play(?)

Diavolo is no stranger to pleasing himself, or taking a succubus or two....

However, he's found that as he got older, he no longer cared enough to indulge himself

That was of course, until he saw you in that tight little RAD uniform, skirt almost too short on you....

It didn't affect him much at first, but as the year went on and he got to know you more...

Well, he started thinking about you more and more... looking at pictures of you taken by the RAD newspaper, or pictures posted on Devilgram....

At first, this was enough for him. He was ok just longingly looking at you... but his body wanted more.

Soon, he was imagining himself cumming all over your face, D.D.D in hand as he pumps himself with the other. But even this wasn't enough, eventually. And this is when he seeks out Asmo.

Not even Barbatos knows whats going on. This is a secret between him and Asmo- one that Asmo is soon going to forget.

Asmo easily agrees to "hook" the prince up, using his magic to make you unbearably horny, while Diavolo ensures you'll be busy all day long helping him with various tasks...

The prince indulges in your aroused scent, and enjoys the teasing touches he can sneak while you're distracted.

As night falls, he lets you stay over at the castle- because suddenly you feel too exhausted to go back home. Diavolo makes sure you'll be sleeping for a long time- more like in a coma rather then sleep, and only he can wake you from it.

And with some lingerie that the prince had picked out (with help from Asmo), he uses his own magic to slip it on you, and he takes a few moments to appreciate your bare body, clad only in the quite revealing red and gold lingerie fit for his princess.

He can't help but admire you, his hands skimming over every inch of skin to memorize you completely, his fingers slipping past your soaked folds to memorize your insides as well.

Thanks to Asmo's magic, you're more then prepared to take him right off the bat- and Diavolo wastes no time sliding his cock deep within you, and ravaging you until he's pumped you full of seed multiple times over.

Oh, but thats not all. He can't help himself- he spurts load after load onto your body, covering you in thick, creamy cum. His cum. And oh, he couldn't be happier. He takes a few pics with his D.D.D before lovingly cleaning you up, and returning you to how you once were.

Of course, this is only the first time he takes you- there are a few... other times, where he invites you over to the castle and, oddly enough, a few hours of your time there are missing from your memories. Walking back home, you find your hips are sore and you feel oddly empty....

And, to top it all off, ever since you started regularly visiting the prince, occasionally you'll come home to find a box placed in the center of your bed. Opening it reveals beautiful, elegant, comfortable underwear- anything from bras to panties to full lingerie sets. You assume it's from Asmo, but why he was giving this to you in secret, you had no clue.... also, was it just you, or was all your old underwear starting to go missing?

[crazyfandomluver]

I present my Posally aus and headcannons. Enjoy =D

Sally going to Olympus, or going to someplace where both Zeus and Poseidon are present in the same place, and the two brothers get into an argument. It goes live on HephaestusTV, for the channel ‘Two idiots attempt to insult each other’(The name is a work in progress). Sally gets tired after some time of it, grabs Poseidon by the ear in the middle of the argument, right when they’re at each other’s throats, and drags him away, and he does nothing to stop her. The other gods are beyond shocked and confused at how much Sally has the most powerful god wrapped around her finger. 

“Who’s Sally Jackson???” 

“Just the most powerful woman in the world who also happens to be a mortal.”

Sally showing Poseidon all the mortal things, like restaurants, dancing, parties, movies, making food, etc. Poseidon spends most of his time in the ocean, and he’s surprised and new to all of this. He’s a little self conscious about it, but he allows Sally to show him everything, and he makes mistakes pretty much every time. But he doesn’t get frustrated too often, because he has a love of his life, soothing him and urging him to try again. 

Poseidon is sleeping(for/with Sally because gods don’t need sleep) and suddenly wakes up from a nightmare from past trauma about being eaten by his father. He immediately tries to act tough. Sally assures him that she is not his family, and he doesn’t need to hide his himself from her. She pulls him into a tender hug and Poseidon lets himself cry/be weak in front of her

“Gods don’t get therapy, Percy. The truth is that there’s a lot of screwed up things happening in their lifetime and they’re just expected to move on and forget about it without help. But as you know, sometimes it can be hard to get away from trauma.” “Even for the gods?” 

“Even for gods.”

Poseidon realizing he’s in desperately in love as he watches Sally light up into someone for littering and leaving their trash all over the beach. As a king whose subjects are being killed by plastic, whose ichor is laced with oil due to his form representing the state of his domain, he appreciates seeing someone who protects the sea when he cannot 

Sally loved to steal Poseidons shirt. He has like, only one or two, and Sally often steals them all. So he tried stealing one of Sally’s shirts, and it was too small on him. He realized this too late and he’s trying to take it off without breaking it. This is when Sally comes in the room, who promptly starts laughing her head off. Poseidon turns red and eventually realizes (because he’s a himbo and we love him for it) that he can just teleport away to a different part of the room, and he does, and the shirt falls to the floor. He waits for her to stop laughing, and just stands there, shirtless, tapping his foot every now and again, looking like a red tomato with a pout. She looks up after gaining control of herself for a moment, and sees his face, then immediately breaks into another fit, knowing that she was the only few who he’d let laugh at him like this

“…. You done?” 

“… No🤣”

Percy is a pet dog that Sally got for her and Poseidon who Poseidon makes immortal. There is no forbidden child, Poseidon doesn’t have to leave because he can split his conscience without others noticing, and also there’s no rules against having relationships, just the kids. They live happily together because is that too much to ask for? (At least until Sally dies if she still decides to not join him. But I think she would in this au)

Poseidon comes to visit Sally every now and again when Percy is at school or at camp. They’ll watch movies together, cuddled up on the coach, with Sally already having seen most of them, but willing to watch them again, and with Poseidon enthralled and entertained by all the shows he hasn’t seen yet. He died on the inside when he saw Disney’s’ Hercules. 

“Poseidon? What’s wrong?”

“… literally EVERYTHING is backwards…”

Poseidon taught Sally how to defend herself, even sometimes letting her use his trident since as a mortal, she can’t unleash the power within it. 

~*~fin~*~ @posallys

[quitealotofsodapop]

(Hope you're feeling better! Sending positive vibes to you!)

I've been thinking about Sandy...

We all love the big blue river man, but...I feel like he shouldn't already be the loveable giant we know and love when Shadowpeach get to Pigsy's just after the 'conception'.

Dunno, I think it would be, like, a disservice? Is that the word I want, something like that, to Sandy and his path of becoming a better person, right?

Like, Pigsy didn't know about the change when AHIB was going on, so it had to happen after they last saw each other.

Maybe it just happened sooner in TMKATI, but what if!

What if, Sandy comes to the noodle shop and wants to talk, and maybe the subject of the 'young couple with a baby on the way' comes up and he gets the tea on the situation from what Freenoodles understand - both from observation and the vague description, giving them the vibe of 'hiding from bad people (that might be family)' (or something).

As he learned, he meets the 'youngsters' and gets to know them.

But maybe one day, he was already at an 89 and something pushes him to a 90 and hello, temper.

But before something bad can happen, Sandy looks and sees 'Wu' standing in front of 'Mihou' in a defensive stance, eyes vary.

Maybe that's the moment? That he realizes he needs to - and importantly wants to - be better. To be a support system for these two 'kids' that do need help.

Also, interesting thought: somebody said that it looked like Macaque and Sandy are opposites, that Macaque started out as a more quiet voice of reason and is now, well, very much not. While Sandy started out violent and became a peaceful voice of reason.

That is interesting and I do love me some moon/ocean symbolism, so a friendship would be cool.

They could also be yoga buddies (because yoga does help with flexibility during a pregnancy, if I believe the internet), so common activity!

Y'know?

OOOoof. Yes.

Sandy at the start of the TMKATI au is not exactly the soft himbo we know and love from the main series just yet.

Pigsy and him had a falling out some time ago, but Pigsy decides to call Sandy up for "protection" after Macaque gets freaked out by a Bad Encounter during New Years. Said encounter was a certain bone-demon thrall delivering a threat, but to those on the outside looked like some kind of trouble, legal or otherwise. Best to have your strongest guy around if something pops off, you know?

So now Sandy is in the loop with the noodle shop gang about "the kids with a kid on the way". They all assume that Shadowpeach are in a situation of hiding from Underworld authorities, angry family members, or something more sinister. Sandy is like "Hell yeah brother. I'll punch a few demons if they come near the shop!"

Which would be fine except; 1: Wukong 100% recognises Sandy from somewhere. 2: Sandy is trying his best to ignore any recognition from his past. 3: Macaque also recognises Sandy + likes to rile him up.

Which nearly leads to a fishman vs monkey fight one night. A punch is thrown, a far-too-familar human catches his fist.

Sandy leaves the restaurant in a hurry, apologizing tearfully under his breath. He returns some days later, admits that he wants to work on his temper and that he needs external help for his emotional issues.

He asks if any of the gang are willing to forgive him; they all do, though Macaque takes some extra time to reconsider. Mac does eventually come around when he witnesses Sandy managing to calm himself down mid-conversation. A friendship blooms from there.

I love the thought of Sandy convincing Mac to be his yoga buddy once the monkey starts complaining about aches and pains later on in the Egg's development. Its all very awkward at first, but it ends up becoming their weekly "thing" they do together. Both (including Wukong sometimes) are new to modern mental wellness stuff, and it's a lot easier to get into healthier habits with a buddy at your side. Mac probably accidentally calls Sandy his older brother a few times.

Even when Macaque briefly abandons the noodle shop to hide/flee from a certain threat/his and Wukong's relationship issues, Sandy is the only one Mac trusts with his location. Sandy similarly is a tough nut to crack when Wukong is zipping around for answers ("He seemed really hurt. I ain't telling you until you both have cooled off.").

Needless to say, Sandy is the least-shocked to learn that Wukong is willing to do something Very Stupid to get back into his dear Mihou's good books.

Macaque, answers phone at PIF's place: "Hey." Sandy: "Wu's going into the Underworld." Macaque, delayed reaction: "Oh good... WHAT?!" Sandy: "Yeah, he told me to tell you; He's sorry, and that he's gonna make it up to you in the ways he only knows how. Whatever that means." Macaque, stunned: "...Did he say exactly what he was going to do?" Sandy: "He told me to not tell you or else you'd try and stop him." Macaque, getting worked-up: "Damn straight I will!" Sandy: "Hey, hey, remember what we've been practising in breathwork. Pause and forget the situation for a moment, and just breath in deep. Deep breaths." Macaque, a little calmer: "...Ok, I'm feeling a little better. But I'm still really concerned what the hell Wu is planning on doing. If you know where he is, make sure he doesn't try doing anything stupid." Sandy: "Will do! Tell your sister I said hi!" Macaque: "Thanks Sandy." (*call ends*) Sandy, turns to Pigsy and Tang: "Yeah he's ok. Best we follow Wu and make sure he isn't serious about that Bone Demon stuff." Pigsy: "I swear on Guanyin, those monkeys are going to make me age ten years by the end of this."

Sandy earns his title of "Best Uncle" in the au for a reason.

[chicken-fifi]

Jang Hanseo (Vincenzo) A-Z | SFW

Pairing: Jang Hanseo x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon: Hello 👋👋 If it's not a bother for you can I pls request a-z alphabet for Jang Han Seo and Jang Han Seok from Vincenzo with female reader? You don't have to if you can't. Thank you anyways ❤️❤️

A/n: i will always write and create content when ever i have the time. please look forward to the second part of your request next week!

A - Attractive: What do they find attractive about each other?

Physically you are just a goddess in Hanseo’s eyes. I think he finds the most comfort and attraction in your hands though. They way they fit perfectly in his and hold his face while you look into his eyes. Godsend. Your kindness and empathic nature is also a huge attraction, especially when his brother is, well, who he is. For you, similarly, man is gorgeous, but it’s his smile, you’d kill for that smile. And his ability to be effortlessly funny. You can’t tell me this man’s himboness isn’t attractive, even if it worries you to no end.

B - Baby: Do they want a family?

Yes, but not under the circumstance he is currently in. In a world where his brother isn’t a threat to your wellbeing and safety, or your children, absolutely yes. But he’s afraid that the second it becomes clear how much you mean to him, that he wants a family with you, his brother will forcefully remove you from the picture, because you will only make things messy. That or he’ll use you and your kids as leverage to get him to the dirty work. While Hanseok is alive, the answer is no.

C - Comfort: How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

In all honesty, he’s crying with you. If you are down or having a panic attack, he’s down and having a panic attack. When I say you’re the adult in this relationship I mean it. But he does try. He’s very clueless about what to do, but he tries. And he gets the hang of it, eventually, wordlessly holding you, rubbing your back and whispering how much he loves you.

D - Dates: What are dates with him like?

Dates are rare. Again, he doesn’t want you on his brother’s radar. But when you go out, they’re very homey and calm. More often than not, they happen at his home. Typically the two of you try and cook together (more like you cook and he is banned from touching anything lest he gets hurt or blows up the kitchen) and end up watching some movie or a tv show. But regardless, you never leave feeling anything less than loved.

E - Equal: Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Sub. You are the adult. You wear the pants. Outside the bedroom. Inside is a different story. Don’t get me wrong though. As meek as he may seem, he has his moments where he does woo you by being much more dominant than usual. That one time he did the doorway lean. He may have ended up falling and splitting his eyebrow open, but he looked hot.

F - Feelings: When did they know they were in love?

The minute he knew was when he realized he wanted to be a better person for you. He wanted to be a good man. Live for you. He wanted to somehow start a completely different life where you would be safe and not out of harm's way by his side. This realization makes it apparent that he is in love with you. You realized you were in love with him when you found yourself worrying about his well-being when you hadn’t heard from him in a long period of time. The thought of his brother taking something out on him, scared you to death and you found yourself willing to take his place instead.

G - Gratitude: How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

As grateful as he can be. He grew up in a rather wealthy family so his gratitude comes mainly from the little things you do that he didn’t grow accustomed to having. The way you’ll send him a quick text just saying the most mundane thing that happens to be delivered when he really needs it the most. Or how you’ll take over doing something when he has too much on his plate without asking or saying a word. You do your best to take care of him in ways that he would never expect from anyone.

H - Honesty: Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He has a lot of secrets. A lot. And he keeps them from you for the sake of your safety. He doesn’t want you involved in anything that poses a threat to your life. He does try to share the things that don’t fall into that category with you as often as he can, but sometimes even those are too dangerous to tell you. And it pains him to keep them from you, but he finds comfort in knowing that to some extent, if anything happens, you will at least be safe.

I - Inspiration: Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

He does try to be a better person because of you. He doesn’t want anything that he’s done to follow him for much longer. He wants to be an upstanding citizen. To have a chance to leave all of this behind and have a normal life.

J - Jealousy: Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yes. He most certainly does get jealous very easily. He loves having all of your attention on him, and when it’s not he gets incredibly pouty. He withdraws a bit when jealous but in doing so he draws your attention to him because he’s almost never silent. And there he is looking like a sad puppy who’s been rejected by his owner. 

K - Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Kisses are surprisingly deep and intimate. He is always kissing you like it could be the last time he’ll get a chance to do it, because in his mind, it could very well be the last time. I do think he’d had a number of ladies by his side so he certainly knows what he’s doing when kissing you but he’s scared because it’s you. In his eyes you’re so strong, yet delicate that he doesn’t exactly know what to do. His mind is blank the first few times.

L - Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?

He confesses to you indirectly. Hanseok unfortunately finds out about your existence and true to Hanseo’s fear uses you as leverage. No one, and I mean no one, has ever seen Hanseo on his knees begging as much as he is to leave you out of it. To let you go and not hurt you. Because…“I love her!”

M - Marriage: Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Again, similar to the baby entry, yes but not under these circumstances. He can’t let you get hurt or caught up in this mess. Even if you are found out, he still fears that it will only get worse the more you get involved with him. If he does work up the courage, which at some point he does, he proposes to you completely out of the blue. As for marriage life, he does his best to keep you out of everything, again. He wants to be a protector and provider. And will do his best to live up to that.

N - Nicknames: What do they call their s/o?

Him: Baby, Sweetheart, I feel like he would use some cringy nickname just because too

You: Himbo, Hanny, Dummy, also probably something cringier

O - On Cloud Nine: What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s pretty obvious because he tries so hard to make it not obvious. He’s jittery and there’s not hiding the smile on his face when you text him, or how his voice changes when he’s on the phone with you. Hanseo strikes me as the type of guy who would be very physically affectionate with you. He’s like a puppy who wants to be be in direct contact with his owner all the time.

P - PDA: Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Def not upfront (need I say why?). He doesn’t brag or even bring you up at all. He wants you to be a secret (we all know why at this point). Behind closed doors when it’s just you two though, man praises you beyond belief (I can only think of the scene from Queen Charlotte, “Oh you are beautiful. My wife is beautiful.”). Kisses you like there’s no tomorrow behind closed doors too.

Q - Quirks: Something you do that he loves

You hum when you get carried away doing something. He loves that.

R - Romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

I would say pretty romantic on more special occasions, but very cliche. If something would make you happy, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

S - Support: Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He believes in so much (as do you), and he will help you get to where you want to be as best as he can. From the sidelines or directly, depending on your own wishes.

T - Thrill: Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s not afraid to spice things up, but he does like a good routine…but if it makes things spicy…😏

U - Understanding: How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

As understanding as you can expect someone to be. He can’t always empathize because he genuinely sometimes just can’t relate because you both grew up in completely different circumstances, but when he can, trust that he is there for you.

V - Value: How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Considering how much I have talked about him wanting to keep you out of harm's way and off his brother’s radar, I think it’s pretty clear just how much he values you. 

W - Whole: How do they feel about you being in their life?

Man is worried to death about you being in it, but he can’t see his life without you in it. He wants you there, but he feels selfish for doing so.

X - Xylophone: What is your song?

Maybe it’s because this song is currently stuck in my head, but Work Song by Hozier

Y - Yearning: How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Not very well. Separation anxiety because he could easily think something happened to you because of him. He’s constantly trying to get in contact with you just to be sure that you’re safe (until you aren’t).

Z - Zeal: Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

If it means keeping you safe and by his side, regardless of what may become of him, yes.

[abeautifulblog]

thoughts on the Barbie movie

Finally got around to seeing the Barbie movie -- I think some of its messaging could have been clearer, but on the whole it was a lot of fun, and one of the most visually-innovative things I've seen onscreen in ages. So much stuff these days bills itself as "deconstruction," when more often than not it's just a mean-spirited mockery of something the writers don't actually understand. The Barbie movie is deconstruction done right, by people who are deeply in the know about the material (which in this case equals the entire Barbie mythos/ideology), and love it anyway, warts and all. Good deconstruction is both a critique and a love letter.

The theme that the movie understands and communicates most clearly is about the impossible, contradictory directives that are constantly put on women -- "you need to be assertive, but you mustn't be a bitch", etc -- and how unfair it is that half the population isn't given the same respect and the same chance at success. Barbieland flips the script so that the Kens are the empty-headed ornaments while Barbies run the world (which I suspect is what made a lot of men so viscerally uncomfortable with the movie), but that's also eventually recognized to be just as unfair as the Real World where patriarchy reigns.

What's a lot muddier is the messaging around how exactly men participate in the patriarchal oppression of women, and how the patriarchy harms them too. Because patriarchy is a pyramid scheme -- and not all men are on the top of that pyramid, nor can they all be. It convinces men to strive for an unattainable ideal of masculinity (not unlike the unattainable ideal that Barbie represents for femininity, actually!) and then penalizes those who fall short for not being "man enough," and paints it as a personal failing, not one that's baked into the system.

A lot of the gags around Ken Discovers Toxic Masculinity legitimately had me in stitches, because oh my god, too true, but then it didn't really offer any conclusions about it. Granted, this is the Barbie Movie not the Ken Movie, and he already gets more of a character arc than female love interests usually do, so I'm not going to rend my garments all "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MENNNNS??"..... but if you're not going to follow through on toxic masculinity, then maybe better to leave that particular can of worms unopened. There's more than enough for feminism to talk about without it.

Personally, I would have preferred if Ken weren't an antagonist -- if he'd just been the supportive himbo boyfriend who cheerfully follows Barbie on her journey of self-discovery, and backs her every play, and has never had a mean thought in his empty head, which is kind of what the promo materials led me to expect -- but that would have been an entirely different plot. (Possibly one in which Ken encounters the real world and finds that the men there think he should tone down his self-expression (for coming off as too GAY) and be less of a simp for his girlfriend, and he's like, Wow that sounds terrible actually, no thank you!)

In any case, I don't envy the women who are now having uncomfortable conversations with their husbands and boyfriends who got mad about the movie and went on the offensive. Because this is not a movie that softshoes its message to coddle to men's fee-fees -- its male characters are largely mocked and/or marginalized, and I imagine that a lot of men who saw it, and who haven't ever examined their privilege, came out of it feeling personally attacked, and reflexively wanted to attack it in turn and reject everything it's saying.

To which I'm like… y'all need to sit with your feelings for a minute. Remember that one movie taking the piss out of men does not actually make a single dent in the power and privilege that men enjoy in the real world. And then think about the fact that media BY men (which is most of it) routinely treats women the same way -- frivolous and sidelined, ornaments and sex objects. And the fact that we consider that the normal way of things -- that women are expected to watch themselves being portrayed like that and enjoy it.

(A line that I think should have gotten more weight is at the end when Barbie says, "I want to be the one doing the making, not the thing being made," because it's such a clear, straightforward articulation of the subject vs. object distinction.)

Storytelling-wise (to put on my nerd-for-narrative hat), the third act of the movie runs into difficulty with the fact that this is not about human characters, but about anthropomorphized archetypes of femininity and masculinity -- and how do you write a narratively satisfying "ending" for things that don't actually end? And how do you do that within the context of not just a doll world, but the Barbie world, with a gender-unequal status quo that isn't actually going to change either? With the conflicts they set up, I'm not sure there was a wholly satisfactory way to end it.

But anyway, none of that detracted from my enjoyment of the movie -- it's fun, heartfelt, thought-provoking, a continuous source of pleasure and novelty for the eyeballs, and consistently hilarious. Definitely worth the watch.

(And if you want some feminist-themed media that does do a complex exploration of how the patriarchy fucks men over too, even the men who think they're winning at it, I recommend Agent Carter, it is so so good. (The first season, anyway. 😑) There are five notable male characters in it, and the only one having a good time is the one who's declined to buy into society's narrow idea of what constitutes acceptable masculinity.)

[twigg96]

Hi! I really love your metalocalypse headcanons (I'm literally ALWAYS starved for metalocalypse content). If you haven't already answered something along these lines, would it be alright to ask for headcanons about the band + Charles and Magnus trying to court a really shy S/O?

Hi Anon!! Omg thank you so much this is such a cute idea I love it ❤️❤️🥺🥺 yes I’ll definitely write some HCs for you. I hope you like them!!

Nathan is a big old Himbo who despite all attempts, can not read emotional cues to save his life. Despite what everyone says, he’s a big soft teddy bear on the inside. Now… that doesn’t mean he doesn’t look like a terrifying meathead on the outside to any strangers out there. Because… he does. When he first met his future partner at the time he was certain he had broken them. They had stared at him like a deer in the headlights, glancing between his intimidating facial expression and his bulky size. Nathan took their reaction to be a pure rejection and sulked on the couch eating chips for the rest of the party glaring or growling at them every time he caught them staring too long at him. It wasn’t until several days later when Skwisgaar came to tease him about the “cuties that ams havingks a little baby's crush” that he realized that they might have been staring for a totally different reason. But still, he mulled on the thought for a long time. Any time they crossed paths and they ran away or simply stared he felt like he repelled them not attracted them. It confused him to the end but also endlessly piqued his interest. He tried talking to them every day despite his anxiety that Skwisgaar was fucking with him, smiling at their tiny squeaks when he first started a conversation. He felt so prideful when he got them to open up and say a few words. Then eventually full sentences and conversations. He doesn’t always understand why they’re so shy. They’re amazing and perfect in his mind. It wasn’t long before he felt completely enamored, but he could never tell what they were thinking, which threw him for a loop. Going to his dad for advice, he realized that he just needed to trust his gut. On the next day when he saw his S/O, they took a walk together through the halls of Mordhaus. Nathan talked about the ocean and how brutal it was before stopping abruptly. “Do you like… want to go to the ocean… with me one day?”

Pickles could tell his partner was shy from the moment they met. He tried his hardest to accommodate them. And for the most part, he was successful. He helped them out of the stressful party they were in to slip away for a moment to help them take a breath. He didn’t talk to them much just introduced himself and made his presence feel safe. He knew how hard it was to trust people who didn’t feel that way. They stayed in the courtyard of Mordhaus simply existing. Pickles kept an eye on his future S/O, making sure they were comfortable in the cool fall air. He gave them his scarf drumming up a simple conversation that was easy to follow. He didn't make them respond, instead, he simply told them stories about the time he spent in Snakes and gave them a little air tutorial on the drums making them laugh and giggle at his exaggerated movements. After the party Pickles and his future partner kept in contact via text and social media. Once they felt comfortable enough his S/O even ventured to call him once they had gained the confidence to. However, Pickles couldn't stop himself from flirting with them despite the way they'd squeal and deny every compliment he gave them. "Ya know... I do love ya right?" He asked one day while toying with their hair. Watching their face turn bright red they sat in silence for a moment as they simply smiled back in response. "It's ok... you don't need to tell me it back er nothin' yet... I just need you to know."

Murderface had truthfully believed from the bottom of his heart that his future partner was playing a game with him. He believed that they were just "hard to get." So instead of doing the right thing and providing space for his S/O. He chased them RELENTLESSLY. It got so bad that he started Facebook stalking them. Messaging them on various accounts all in an effort to try and gain their attention while telling everyone. "Damn this person is Scheriously into me." It worked however to get his partner out of their shell over time as their messages stopped being "M: Hey bb wyu2?" to "M: Tell me more about (thing S/O is seriously passionate about). I know there had been a problem with something the last we talked." Eventually, his S/O agreed to meet him in person for a date. The problem... he had been using an alt with a photoshopped photo of himself with a 10-pack of abs. William debated on cancelling on his shy S/O but knew that would only shatter their trust in him more. So on the day of the date, he arrived, in a corset. His S/O nearly dropped their Taco Bell when they first saw him, squashing out the sides of his corset. Placing their food down on a table they had to stop themselves from peeing themselves laughing before pulling Murderface down for a kiss. “You’re perfect no matter what. I care about YOU. Ya big silly.”

Toki thought it was the funniest thing in the entire world that his crush was shy. He loved their pink blush and the way they clammed up when they got flustered. He met them at a meet and greet. But it was love at first sight for him. Writing his number onto a slip of paper he handed it to the hottie as they turned to leave winking cheekily and giggling as they squeaked and ran away. Weeks passed while Toki swooned over the "one who got away". Nathan simply ignored it altogether, eating his chips and turning the volume up higher on the television. Murderface tried to avoid Toki when he was all swoony, but he always got caught up in some pity party. Pickles would try to distract Toki for as long as possible before pawning him off on someone else. Normally this person was Skwisgaar who could handle him for much longer than the others. However, Charles had more than enough of Toki's behavior and invited Toki's crush over himself for "a short one-on-one interview with Toki." The guitarist was thrilled to see them again, inviting them to do fun things like build model planes and play video games. The day quickly turned into a date and Toki found himself with much more than just their number by the end of the night.

Skwisgaar is delicately tactful when he meets his future partner. He can tell they feel uncomfortable with his normal grand personality so, he simply tones it down. He's careful with his words, watching for any progress and cursing the world when his bandmates were too loud or did things that obviously scared his S/O back into their shell. It wasn't until the next they met that they had a moment alone. Skwisgaar again focused deeply on making his S/O feel comfortable in their environment and more importantly with him. Eventually Skwisgaar started bringing his S/O to events with him... as a guest of course. He simply knew they'd attend anyway so why not make sure they were comfortable from the start? At one gala in particular, the pair ducked outside for fresh air when the crowd started to be too much even for him. The music was beautifully drifting through the windows as they walked around the gardens, hand in hand. "Do you... want to dance?" His partner asked sweetly looking up at him in the moonlight, the swede had never seen a more gorgeous sight. Together they danced at the center of the garden, giving each other butterfly kisses and giggling as their lips touched gently.

Charles was extremely dense when his partner showed any interest in him at all. He had a lot going on... or at least that was his excuse. Friends of his S/O had to literally tell him straight to his face about their crush before he'd even acknowledge it. But he still refused to act until they made the first move. Which was like agony to them, but was important for Charles to determine whether he could truly trust them or not. But once they came forward and told him their true feelings, he was the most protective boyfriend anyone could ask for. He stood up for his partner in any situation and gave them a voice whenever they felt they had none. He loved them wholly and truly from day one.

Magnus doesn't do shy. When he finds his S/O staring at him at the supermarket one day he becomes extremely paranoid that someone was going to try and kill him again. So he waits outside the doors and ambushes them, scaring the living daylights out of them. This doesn't stop the staring problem however... as a matter of fact it made it worse. Magnus tried everything to make it stop. He tried threatening them. He tried physically pinning them to the wall and demanding they stop. He tried being "nice" in a scary way. All of which seemed to cause the staring to increase and become weird... Now they stared at him as if they wanted to fuck him. Which... he wouldn't mind if he didn't think they were a Dethklok Spy. One day Magnus snapped when he found his S/O creeping on him from around the corner of the ally way following him home. He pinned them to the wall and demanded why they were following him. Let me tell you he was not expecting "Because I want to be railed into submission." to be the answer they gave but by god it was damned good to hear.