#he was literally creating an army with the beast pirates.....

[luazasvogel]

      “ War. I have never questioned my captain’s want for war. A battle of battles, an ending of lives, a true passage of the strong. The war to end all wars, that was our goal. To rise above it all, to see it all burn, and to see who survived--the strongest, the smartest, the most resourceful. Then, only then, might the world actually be worth it again. ”

[plutodotpng]

DnD CHARACTERS TIME WHOOOOOO since i'm obsessed with creating funky gay magical people, and have about 20 character ideas, over the past few months i've been drawing a few of them in between my usual fanart :) if you wanna know more i'm leaving some info below ;D

these six nerds are the most developed characters i have so far, and i've only gotten to play Thessa and Valax a little before becoming my party's DM. but here they are!!

🗡️🌊 Leonard, tiefling swashbuckler rogue Ah, this fucker. He's a pirate, he's horrible, he's a tease and he only cares about himself and making gold. No horribly depressed backstory except for like, class struggle and being an orphan, he's sure to make a show everywhere he goes. With a rapier and a dagger always by his side, getting himself into trouble is always at the top of his list. At least they're entertaining and fun to be around, and being enticing sure helps draw attention away from the pickpocketing every here and there.

⚔️🛡️ Thessalya, human battle master fighter Ok ok I'm guilty of giving her way more trauma than I should have, but I love making characters go through fucked up shit and still end up being kind. That's her. Her parents abandoned her while their village was attacked and destroyed, was then captured by some shitty army. Almost died a few times from failed escape attempts, all while she was eight, but eventually she was able to run away! And thank the gods, some good knights took her in and helped her! Now she was two cool dads that taught her how to fight (and sing a little) and she loves studying history and philosophy. She's seen a lot of evil in the world so she hopes she can be strong enough to protect those who need help every now and again.

🌲🌒 Valax Roseshade, wood elf, gloom stalker ranger He's sad. He's a forest hobo. He was literally raised by wolves. He's 300 years old and tired. He smells like grass and fungi all the time. He doesn't talk about his religious trauma. He doesn't talk much in general. Still, he's a deadly shot and a good addition to a party who needs help getting around any large terrain with trees. Always looking to keep the balance between nature and civilization, hunting undead evils and shit. Yeah.

🐺🔥 Navah, human barbarian, path of the beast (possible blood hunter multiclass) Navah also suffers a bad case of parents are dead (and lycanthropy, lol), but she channels her emotions in a very different way. She has a giant axe, she's hairy, she's loud, she likes taking up space and occasionally turns into a wolf. She controls her anger, the part of her which knows she deserves better, to help folk with some extra muscle, even forging her own badass weapons (as long as there's no silver involved).

🎶🎭 Asra, moon elf, college of lore bard The Veiled Siren, as most know her by her stage name, is but a simple bard traveling from town to town. They've been on the road for many years, and home is every place where she makes friends. With a complicated past, they've managed to leave everything behind and start anew, and are enjoying the simple things in life while on a quest to inspire confidence in those who struggle with believing in themselves.

🔫✨ Elphi, tiefling gunslinger fighter/order of scribes wizard Wizard with a gun my beloved. She's smart and skilled but visibly struggles holding conversations with anyone that's not a magical talking book. I don't know who gives a kid a gun, but thankfully whoever that was taught her proper safety. Well, whoever that was, no way they're crazier than the nerdy archivist that took her in and offered his library/home for the energetic pink little demon. She's read many books about wonderful and dangerous adventures and is looking forward to write her own!

>>> i love getting asks about anything so if there's any more fun info you're curios about, don't hesitate to drop by <33

[emmi-kat]

SPG Kazooland Master Post

Kazooland is the alternate dimension in the Steam Powered Giraffe Universe.  This post contains various facts and tidbits mentioned by David and Bunny Bennett about it on tumblr and the official SPG websites over the years.  Please feel free to share more information in the reblogs!

Kazooland was named for the mentor of David Bennett, Bunny Bennett, Jon Sprague, Erin Burke, and Bryan Barbarin, Mr.Jerry Hager's mime persona: Kazoo the Mime

By 1897, Peter Walter had unlocked the power of Blue Matter and   subsequently, created an alternate reality he dubbed   Kazooland.

Excerpt from The Story of the Cavalcadium

The Cavalcadium tried to  make a permanent portal to Kazooland in their building, based on Peter Walter I’s studies.

The  Cavalcadium was wiped from existence in an instant, and it took Peter  a few months to realize it had simply vanished. Time and space itself  left a void to forget it ever was.     

The  Cavalcadium building now exists in the seams of Kazooland, and acts  as a hub to many other parts of the dimension. A few doorways even exist on Earth.          

Current link to the map of Kazooland: https://www.thecavalcadium.com/Kazooland.html

Information available about Kazooland as late as 2014

  Asininia*             The dark kingdom of Ignatius Becile. Long having taken refuge from Earth, the   black-handed Becile has built a giant city which is depleting Asininia of its   natural resources and precious rock candy veins. His aim is creating an   unstoppable army of candy-powered automatons to consume the universe.

*name is derived from “asinine”

The 8th Dimension of Absolute and Infinite Terror           The only persistent door to the  terrible 8th dimension. Its history is unclear but it is indeed locked and guarded by Jumbo, The Pink Whale With A Top  Hat.* The 8th dimension is notorious for being the place of fermenting  nightmares and evil Lovecraftian Beasts.

*Jumbo can be found in the album The Vice Quadrant, guarding Commander Cosmo and The Necrostar

Horroria

A jagged mountain range of ash and  death, which is primarily a refuge for monsters. A couple of human  settlements exist, but the majority of inhabitants of the continent  are Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Zombies, Witches, Cultists,  Poltergeists, Man-Eating Hamburgers, and Hamburger-Eating Men.

Hypexion V     

A presumed alien homeworld of the  Hypexions; thin bipedal humanoids with a sweet tooth.

Ironically Foreboding Shaped Islands     

The Chaos Sea marks these bodies of  land as a legend, but time travelers and fortunate explorers speak of  adventurous sailors, pirates, and buried treasure. It is  believed the famous Captain Albert Alexander was the first to have  sailed the Chaos Sea, yet only stories remain.

Lola     

The Hypexion Moon infested with the  diabolical Moon Worms. The Moon Worm Queen is held responsible for  eating a chunk of Hypexion V before she was destroyed, but a newly  born Moon Worm Queen is the talk among the stars. The   talking stars of course.

Lotsasand     

An ancient dust land belonging to the  ancestors of the Kingdom of Set. Though primarily a land for the  outsourcing of dust and camels, the age old tales of Jackal Men,  Living Mummies, and Scarab People still invoke questions of mysticism  in even the most skeptical of skeptics.

Meh     

An icy northern land of Snow Queens and  Mystical Creatures. Many a wise pipe smoking old bearded man tell  stories about this enchanted place, but few are listened to.

Merveille

Merveille is the remains of the once  great Circus Empire, which exploded eons ago and left a watercolored  land of saturated imagination. The inhabitants are mostly the  Speechless Ones, also known as Mimes. It is often described as a  tangible dream, and artists from all over the multiverse have tapped  into its presence for inspiration and escape.

Cities:                    Bip

The capital of  Merveille was named after its founder, and is a favorite spot for  vacation for Peter Walter VI. It was also in Bip that the Great War of 1823 was ended by a mysterious mime with a magical  kazoo.

New Pieland    

Once a paradise of wilderness, pilgrims  from Old Pieland settled here declaring it New Pieland after their  former continent was completely devoured since it actually lived  up to its namesake. It was quite literally a giant land mass of flaky  crust with a warm gooey appley interior.

New Pieland is home to many American immigrants and many other multiverse settlers.  Humans, Robots, Clowns, Cat People, and Vleeds are just a few of the races you'll find in the melting pot which is New Pieland.

Cities:                    Biscuit Town

Biscuit Town is a famous small  mining town in the eastern part of New Pieland. It is home   primarily to clowns, wizards, and talking animals. Biscuit Town has   been run by Walter Robot The Jon until recently, and was the first  town in New Pieland to elect a robot for Mayor. Currently, in  the Jon's absence the Mayor's Assistant Boft is  struggling with the encroaching rogue nation of Asininia, a  resource-hungry super kingdom of mad scientists and candy-powered  androids.    Preferbia   This large sprawling landscape   of suburbia is a metropolis of 1950's ideals, where the  beautiful residents are protected from the ravages of time by a blue  matter rich force field over the city. Created by a visionary man  from Earth after slipping through an interdimensional rift, Howard  Lloyd saw the potential of the unstable rift and created what some  have called the 1950s utopia of mankind. Those who enter  the city rarely decide to leave the prospect of eternal youth, but  some do choose to escape Preferbia's roving gangs of fish mutants and  frequent attacks by the Hypexion Moon Worms.

Snornia

Snornia is the last remaining haven for  mystical beings. It is cut off from the rest of the world by a  vengeful Dragon God, but those who have seen it speak of a fantastical world of magic and danger, with princesses in towers,   dexterous elves making shoes, and six winged warlocks. Humans  who find ways to enter usually do so to train to become wizards or  dragons, but many are eaten by the Dragon God, and even more give up  and sail to Party Island.

South Adventurica

A largely unexplored tangle of   constantly transforming jungles, swamps, and plains unbound by  any mappable record of time. Adventurers have sought to unlock the   continent's mysteries for years, and its surprises still continue to   surprise avid surprise seekers. Dinosaurs, giant insects, carnivorous   plants, elementals, Forgotten Gods, Bobby Darin, and Santa Claus are   all said to live here, but the only proof of their existence are the   ravaged journals from explorers of the past...

And that captured dinosaur amusement  park off the coast.

Verk     

A rainy settlement of time travelers  from the 1890s. It is separated from the world by an ethereal mist of  aether called "Henry's Breath," long believed to be   generated by the fat ghost of England's Henry the 8th.  Most settlers began traversing the aether via multidimensional  travel from when Colonel P. A. Walter I discovered Blue Matter in  1896, but all matter of being from the multiverse seems to have  leaked through to embrace knowledge, Victorian style, and to tinker with steampunk abominations.

Cities:                    Dandyton

The Capital of Verk is a bustling city  of inventors, scientists, airship pilots, alchemists, airship pilots,  ghosts, and airship pilots. It is home to the Verk Dandy Candy  Factory, many airships, and the Verkian Rift, a dimensional  hub to countless other realities.

The (old) Cavalcadium landing page including links to Worlds (Earth, Kazooland, and the 8th Dimension), Characters, and Species

Characters include (but are not limited to): Beebop, Bip, Boft, Brown Suits, Buster Becile, Captain Albert Alexander, Delilah, Doc Laborday, G. G., Guy Hottie, Hatchworth,The Highwayman, I. M. Becile, Kazoo, Lily Brennan, Lorene Keaton, Norman Becile, Peter Walter I, Peter Walter II, Peter Walter III, Peter Walter IV, Peter Walter V, Peter Walter VI, Rabbit, Rex Marksley, The Jon, The Spine, The Suspender Man, Uncle Ralphie, Upgrade, and Wanda Becile

Species include (but are not limited to): Robots, Samurai, Scarab  People, Seafarers, Steampunks, Talking  Animals, Trolls, Vampires, Vleeds, Warlocks, Werewolfs, Witchs, Wizards, and Zombies

The Temecula Rift

Prior to the 2013 Walter Robotics Expo, an accident occurred while 26 y/o Peter Walter VI accidentally sealed a Blue Matter Rift that he was trying to open for high speed inter-dimensional travel between Earth and Kazooland.  The result was an explosion that singularly hit Peter Walter VI in his face.  He now wears an iconic keyhole mask to hide whatever the results of the explosion may have been.

Links:

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/49702485000/regarding-the-temecula-rift

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/51763873084/walter-robotics-owner-peter-walter-vi-hospitalized

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/52636220497/a-message-from-peter-walter-vi

Audio posts of Isabella Bennett discussing Kazooland Canon circa 2015:

Kazooland Canon 1/3

Kazooland Canon 2/3

Kazooland Canon 3/3

Rabbit’s white faceplates are made from a porcelain-like material from Kazooland called Impossium

[inkweaver22-blr]

HEY REDWALL FANDOM

It’s 4AM and I can’t sleep so I’m going to rant for a little bit about something my brain won’t shut up about.

There’s this fic I read some years ago that aggravates me to no end. Not because it wasn’t well written, oh no. Quite the opposite in fact. It was a more mature story than the books with the main themes being that what creature you are born as doesn’t affect your “goodness” or “evilness” and that everyone has the rights and freedoms to make choices for themselves.

The main player in this story was a badger lord seer (whom we will refer to Seer from here on) who had seen a prophecy of a great evil/era of upheaval and uncertainty (which he implies will be caused by the corsair sea-rats) and set about gathering a force to combat it. He however didn’t really care what species you were and accepted even groups of vermin bandits into his army so long as they vowed to adhere to his code of conduct. Which was really simple in “do no harm and let no harm come to the innocent” type of stuff.

So while Seer himself seemed grim and unapproachable, his army revered him for he had given them a sense of purpose, brotherhood, and honor. He united many races that were once enemies and trained them all into fierce yet honorable warriors. So while we as an audience may find him unnerving, he’s set up as the protagonist whom we are meant to support.

Now is where things start to go off the rails a bit.

His younger brother, whom we’ll call Rage, apparently doesn’t like the fact that Seer is allowing “vermin” into his army. Specifically because Rage hates rats because of the corsair. Rage, unfortunately was cursed with an extra hard dose of the typical badger lord berserk rage and isn’t as good with tactics as Seer is. But because Seer needs Salamandastron for some reason, he tricks Rage and the Long Patrol out of the mountain and takes it for himself.

Okay so it’s just a spat between two brothers, one of which is obviously a bigot so we root for Seer here right?

Well when Rage returns he notices that Seer has given sacred armor crafted by previous badger lords to his troops of rats who also happen to be right at the front of the army. Not his squirrels, not his foxes, only the rats. Rage, obviously, goes into a rage and decimates the rat soldiers and is eventually killed due to his blindness. The Long Patrol is permanently ousted and retreat to Redwall. When questioned by the Abbot later, Seer absolutely avoids the question of “did you intentionally bait your brother instead of trying to talk to him”.

Here’s where my suspension of disbelief starts to fail.

Earlier in the story it’s made clear that any creature in Seer’s army may leave at any point due to the fact that every beast is free and can exercise that freedom (so long as they don’t harm others). We actually see this happen when his force of otters and shrews leave after he uses MUSTARD GAS on a fort of villains, brutally killing them in what the otters believed was an dishonorable way. (Oh did I mention Seer is super intelligent and understands science and math that allows him to create amazing things like submarines and a tower near Redwall with a giant mirror that lets them get messages to Salamandastron quickly?) Anyway, Seer tries to refuse their resignation which the otters throw back in his face due to the aforementioned policy of freedom of choice.

This is where I get angry.

After winning the mountain, Seer parlays with the corsair king. You know, the leader of the slaver pirates that Seer hinted might be the cause of the great approaching upheaval? So what does Seer offer him? If Corsair will give up all the woodland slaves (mice, otters, shrews, squirrels, moles, ect.) Seer will replace them with all of the rats of Mossflower and beyond. All of his rat troops who served him loyally as well as any free rats in the country, evil or not, were just sold into slavery without their say in the matter. Because it is very much known by everyone that the rats replacing the slaves will not be treated like new crew members but as slaves themselves.

What absolutely infuriates me is that Seer’s army just goes with it. They don’t put up a fight, even if the rats are confused and a little hurt by this choice, they go along with it because Seer hasn’t steered them wrong yet. Which makes absolutely no sense when you think about how Seer has been preaching freedom up to this point. Heck, when Redwall begins offering sanctuary to any rat that can make it into their walls, (because absolutely screw any and all forms of slavery), Seer sends his squirrels to patrol the woods and capture any that try to make it to the Abbey.

Why would Seer’s army, who have been proven to be smart, kind, and honorable by this point, ever agree to this? Many of them most likely have at least one friend in the rats. Even if they accepted their comrades willingly chaining themselves to the oar benches, they would most certainly not agree to kidnapping free beasts who never joined Seer’s army. I just does not make any sense and is literally the only problem I had with this story.

Finally we get to the twist that shakes everything and cements this fic as one of the best pieces of Redwall fiction I’ve read.

We have a scene towards the end with Seer in the Prophecy Room of Salamandastron. He gazes upon the original prophecy of evil and upheaval, and then moves on to the next one which he never mentioned. One that states that the badger lord seer could only be defeated by another seer. A rat seer.

Everything he’s done; creating an army of mixed races, building a huge tower in the fields near Redwall, killing his brother to take the mountain; ALL OF IT, was for the single purpose of eliminating rats from the land. Seer was the antagonist all along.

It almost worked too.

In the Redwall world, it’s well established seers can have visions of almost everything, except other seers.

The rat seer, we learn, foresaw that she would need to go to Redwall to retain her freedom, but not why. So she and her family got to Redwall before Seer sent his squirrels to patrol the woods and he can’t do anything because if he attacked the Abbey he would lose any remaining support he had.

So all of this change he made, this era upheaval and uncertainty he caused, was for nothing.

I can’t remember if the story continued on after this point and had the rest of his men realize they’re following a mad prophet but I was tossing and turning all night at their blind faith in following him into becoming genocidal slavers.

So anyway if anyone can find this story I HIGHLY recommend it but be prepared to get irritated towards the end.

UPDATE!!!

The fic in question is The Crimson Badger by Highwing and the more I remember about it the less appealing it is. Lots of grimdark deaths, out of place sexism, and strange prudishness concerning premarital sex abound in this so I change my stance from “highly recommend” to “read at your own risk”.

[pastillafraize]

A Tale of Two Rosses

Disney’s Marvel Cinematic universe gets a lot of criticism from media commentators about the glorification of the U.S. military in their films. Evidence for this is largely apparent in every Marvel film. Examples of this are Captain Marvel’s history as an air force pilot or Rhodey’s position as an army colonel whose superhero name is literally War Machine. There are countless more examples that have been pointed out by many Marvel fans time and time again. For now, the focus will be narrowed in on two characters in the Marvel universe. The first is Secretary General Thaddeus Ross, portrayed by William Hurt. The other character is Agent Everett Ross of the CIA, portrayed by Martin Freeman. It is necessary to go over the background of each of these characters.

Hurt’s Ross makes the first appearance very early in the game as General Ross, appearing in the 2nd film included in the MCU. This film is 2008’s The Incredible Hulk. In it, Ross tries to recreate the super soldier serum to test on Dr. Banner. However, the experiment goes horribly wrong when Banner transforms into an unearthly powerful and uncontrollable beast. Ross’s plan is to take control of Banner’s new hulk form to harness as a military weapon. He sends another one of his goons to test out a newly “improved” serum that turns him into a larger, more power-hungry monster known as Abomination. At this point, Ross has to team up with Banner in order to stop Abomination from destroying the city (which happens anyway). The next film he is in is Captain America: Civil War, where, having been demoted to the title of Secretary, he and half of the remaining Avengers vote in favor of the Sokovia Accords. These accords will restrict the types of interventions superheroes would be allowed to perform if they risk the safety of the civilians in the crossfire. The other half of the Avengers disagreed, causing a rift between the group. After this disagreement ended in disaster, it is safe to assume all the Avengers that initially sided with Ross change their minds. This is apparent when Rhodey, who had voted for the Accords, went against Ross’s wishes to help fight Thanos’s army in Wakanda during Avengers: Infinity War.

Conversely, Freeman’s Ross is not introduced until Civil War, where his job is to investigate and subdue the Winter Soldier while keeping the other Avengers under control so they can negotiate the Accords. He is seen again in Black Panther, this time investigating rogue pirate, Ulysses Klaue. When Klaue is revealed to be in cahoots with Erik Kilmonger, Ross is brought to Wakanda after being injured saving the life of Nakia. There, he is healed and helps unite Wakanda’s tribes and defends the royal lab from being destroyed, using Princess Shuri’s virtual airship. After realizing Wakanda is not the third-world nation it pretended to be, he helps influence King T’Challa’s decision to open its borders and use its technological innovations to help the rest of the world.

Hopefully you’ve spotted a pattern. Both Rosses are closely alligned with U.S. government agencies such as the military. However, one of them is an antagonist while the other is on the side of the protagonists. This presents a binary within the Marvel universe between the two ways in which U.S. militaristic powers are framed. Secretary-General Ross uses tanks to blast the Hulk so that he doesn’t tell anyone about his plans to create a hulk army. His own daughter disowns him for this. He tries to restrict the freedoms of superheroes from doing their job, causing the temporary downfall of the Avengers as a group. Even those who agree with him do it begrudgingly. In the end, none of the Avengers side with him. Contrast this with Agent Ross. Agent Ross is ultimately friendly and civil, seemingly having no agenda beyond what would serve the greater good. He simply wants to stop terrorists such as the Winter Soldier and Kilmonger. He also helps bridge the connection between Wakanda and the rest of the world. Secretary Ross represents the supposed abuse of U.S. military power. Meanwhile, Agent Ross does heroic work to show the government in a positive light.

[pml1225-blog]

3: lets backtrack and talk about the timeline.

Here is an attempt to summarize the Wikipedia article on the Zelda timeline. These are in my view, the important games* and what happens. Heavy Spoilers for like Every Game In the Series.

THE VERY BEGINNING

Farore, Din, and Nayru are goddesses who create everything, including the Triforce. The Triforce is the Macguffins of Macguffins – it literally just grants wishes, but it has no like morals or whatever. Hylia is the guardian of the Triforce. She does a few things – protects Hylians (humans), creating the Goddess Sword, and trapping the demon Demise. Then she gives up her powers and becomes reborn into Link (the first one).

Skyward Sword (I didn’t play this game).

Link (the first one), with the help of his friend Zelda (the first one), gets the Goddess Sword and destroys Demise. But Demise vows to reincarnate and forever torment Zelda and Link’s descendants. Apparently all you need to do is vow to do something and boom – a eternal war emerges.

Ocarina of Time (This is a Very Good Game).

Ganondorf is trying to get the Triforce. Ganondorf is a Gerudo King who has the rage of Demise inside of him. Link is a kid, is caught up in some shenanigans around Hyrule to get into the Spirit Realm where the Triforce is, but Ganondorf takes it first and takes over Hyrule. Link stays in a coma for 7 years, wakes up and gathers the seven Sages who have the power to seal Ganondorf away, and gets the Master Sword (this is the same as the Goddess Sword), all while time traveling with a magic ocarina. It turns out that Ganondorf was too unstable for the Triforce, splitting into the Triforce of Courage, Power, and Wisdom, of which he has Power. Adult Link defeats Ganondorf/Ganon (Ganon is a pig-beast that Ganondorf becomes with the Triforce of Power) and becomes the Hero of Time (or does he?), and he gets sent back to his childhood to continue living his days.

THE B I G S P L I T

Nintendo aka the Biggest Bullshitters of All Time posits that there are three outcomes from the Ocarina of Time. In the first, Link fails to actually beat Ganondorf (making OoT technically not canon in this timeline). He dies, as does Zelda. The sages still seal Ganondorf away, and he’s in the Dark Realm. What is the Dark Realm? Who cares.

The second and third outcomes are just continuations of the two timelines that result from OoT. Ganon is dead (sealed somewhere) in the Adult Timeline, but Ganondorf is resurrected. Since Adult Link was sent back to his childhood (Very Important Plot Reason from post 2), there is no Hero of Time to come back and save everyone. In the Child Timeline, Ganon never comes to power, Ganondorf is executed (or is he?), and everything is Gucci™.

TIMELINE 1: The Decline of Hyrule (the boring one because these games are old and story wasn’t important back then)

A Link to the Past

Link (the Hero of Legend) is telepathically called by Zelda who is trapped in a dungeon to defeat some wizard who is trying to unseal Ganon (remember, Hero of Time Link died but Ganondorf was still sealed). He beats the wizard with the Master Sword, but Jokes! It was Ganon the whole time! Link defeats him.

The Legend of Zelda (the very first one)

Link (The Hero of Hyrule) has to find the shards of the Triforce of Wisdom that Zelda hid from Ganon before she was captured and defeat Ganon. It’s kind of unclear how/when Ganon was resurrected this time.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (the second game released)

Link finds the Triforce of Courage and awakens Zelda from a deep sleep, somehow. They live happily ever after. This was the 80s. But hey! Now all three parts of the Triforce are accounted for.

TIMELINE 2: The Hero of Time is successful, but disappears (is sent back in time)

Wind Waker (This is my favorite game.)

Ganon comes back imbued with the Triforce of Power, but the Hero of Time isn’t there. The King of Hyrule, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule (yes, really), out of options, prays to the goddesses to help, and they flood Hyrule, separating it into islands so Ganon’s influence can’t spread (boats aren’t very common, evidently). Link (the Hero of Winds) goes on an adventure to save his sister, who is kidnapped by Ganondorf, with the help of a pirate named Tetra who his sister was mistaken for. Along the way, he is guided by a talking boat named the King of Red Lions. He resurrects the spirits of the sages that sealed Ganon away in OoT, finds the Triforce of Courage which the Hero of Time hid after completing his mission, and gets the Master Sword. He beats Ganon, with Tetra’s help (she happens to actually be Princess Zelda, wearing the Triforce of Wisdom as a necklace). However, Ganondorf manages to unite the three pieces of the Triforce momentarily, but the King of Red Lions (who is actually Daphnes whatever the heck his name is) touches it first and wishes to completely flood Hyrule. Ganon is dead, Hyrule is gone, so Link and Zelda set sail on her pirate ship to find a new place to establish Hyrule.

TIMELINE 3: Link from OoT got sent back to his childhood.

Now that they know Ganondorf is evil, they try to kill him but fail. Instead, they seal him in the twilight realm with a magic mirror.

Twilight Princess

Link (The Hero of Twilight), a descendant of Hero of Time, accidentally becomes a wolf while trying to save some kids. He gets roped into saving Hyrule by Zelda and an imp named Midna from a sorcerer named Vant, who is the King of the Twilight Realm and is trying to consume Hyrule in Twilight. After killing Vant, it turns out that surprise! Ganondorf was behind this the whole time! Again. Link kills Ganon and saves Hyrule.

WAY IN THE FUTURE (Unknown which timeline)

Breath of the Wild

Ganon has given up on reincarnating through Ganondorf, and decides to just be a pure force of energy known as Calamity Ganon. Zelda is trying to unlock her power to seal Ganon away, but can’t. Meanwhile, she is amassing a huge army of mechanical spider things called Guardians and four huge robots called Divine Beasts, which are piloted by a group of Champions. When Calamity Ganon takes over everything and turns all of the machines against them, killing the Champions, Link (the Hero of the Wilds) dies protecting Zelda, but she uncovers her power trying to protect him. She finds a way to put him in a medically induced coma, where he lies for 100 years while she goes to Hyrule Castle to try to contain Calamity Ganon. Link wakes up 100 years later, regains control of the Divine Beasts and frees the Champions’ spirits, and then goes to Hyrule Castle, where Zelda has been holding Calamity Ganon at bay for a century. With her help, they cast Calamity Ganon away, and Hyrule is able to rebuild.

*important is a very subjective word. For my purposes, these are basically the games where Link fights Ganon. The Minish Cap was an extremely fun game and Four Swords Adventures looks super lit, but honestly, with the amount of times that Ganon disguises himself as secondary villains only to take the glory of being the Big Bad™ at the very end of games, I don’t really care about people like Vaati or Bellum.

[trinuviel]

Crowned with Fire – True and False Lights in A Song of Ice and Fire (part 2)

In the previous installment in this series, I wrote about the tower crowned with fire – the lighthouse – as a positive image of truth and guidance. Thus, the Lighthouse is an example of a true light in GRRM’s epic fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire.  In this post, I’ll examine the imagery of the crown of fire in relation to the notion of false light and the destructive side of fire.

WRECKERS AND DECEPTIVE LIGHTS

The lighthouse is, as noted, a positive image in ASoIaF. It guides ships into safe harbor during the darkness of the night. However, as so many things, the lighthouse and its function can be abused for nefarious purposes - such as deliberately wrecking ships on treacherous shores, a detail @lostlittlesatellites and @shinynewrevulsions made me aware of in Davos’ story.

These days the Sistermen left open piracy to Salladhor Saan and his ilk and confined themselves to wrecking. The beacons that burned along the shores of the Three Sisters were supposed to warn of shoals and reefs and rocks and lead the way to safety, but on stormy nights and foggy ones, some Sistermen would use false lights to draw unwary captains to their doom. (ADwD, Davos I)

Wreckers form a subset of smugglers and pirates. They use beacons to deliberately lure ships into dangerous waters on nights with poor visibility.

(Image from the miniseries Jamaica Inn)

In this context, the practice of wrecking subverts the positive imagery of the lighthouse and recasts the beacon as a false light that lures the unwary traveler astray. 

A BURNING CROWN

I want to return to the imagery of something/someone being crowned by fire because it is an image that recurs in the text, sometimes in different variations. One particular striking image is the one of a crown of fire, which is related to Stannis Baratheon and Daenerys Targaryen.

Stannis has a terrifying vision in the flames of a king that is consumed by a burning crown:

“Last night, gazing into that hearth, I saw things in the flames as well. I saw a king, a crown of fire on his brows, burning . . . burning, Davos. His own crown consumed his flesh and turned him into ash. – Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth, (ASoS, Davos V) 

This vision is very interesting to me because it can be read both as a foreshadowing as well as an expression of Stannis’ own fears regarding the role that Melisandre cast him as: Azor Ahai come again. Stannis fears that he’ll be consumed by the path that Melisandre has set him upon – and he isn’t wrong. Melisandre is mistaken in her identification of Stannis as the saviour her religion has promised. She tries to manipulate the events circumstances to fit the prophecy, which only results in a “magical” sword that is subtly wrong (x) and (x). She desperately wants to believe that she has found the promised saviour but instead Melisandre has created a “false light” with the glowing sword that she gifts Stannis through an elaborate, fiery ceremony at Dragonstone. 

The imagery of a burning crown also appears in one of Daenerys’ chapters in a very literal manner when she has Drogon set one of the slavers of Astapor on fire: 

And Dany swept the lash down as hard as she could across the slaver's face. Kraznys screamed and staggered back, the blood running red down his cheeks into his perfumed beard. The harpy's fingers had torn his features half to pieces with one slash, but she did not pause to contemplate the ruin. "Drogon," she sang out loudly, sweetly, all her fear forgotten. "Dracarys." 

The black dragon spread his wings and roared. A lance of swirling dark flame took Kraznys full in the face. His eyes melted and ran down his cheeks, and the oil in his hair and beard burst so fiercely into fire that for an instant the slaver wore a burning crown twice as tall as his head. The sudden stench of charred meat overwhelmed even his perfume, and his wail seemed to drown all other sound. Then the Plaza of Punishment blew apart into blood and chaos.(ASoS, Daenerys III)

 This scene takes place when Daenerys buys a slave army in Astapor, only to turn them on the slavers. This is the moment where her anti-slavery crusade is born – on the Plaza of Punishment in Astapor, the slavers are punished with fire and blood. However, it is also the first real and premeditated action Dany takes towards her ambition of reclaiming her father’s throne in Westeros. She is in Astapor to acquire an army to conquer Westeros and she begins her quest for the Iron Throne by giving a man a burning crown of fire. As with Stannis, the imagery of the burning crown is a destructive one.

THE FIERY PIT

In my previous post, I mentioned that it was a particular quote from the novella The Princess and the Queen that inspired the subject of this series of metas: “Atop the Hill of Rhaenys, the Dragonpit wore a crown of yellow fire, burning so bright it seemed as if the sun was rising.” In this context, the image of the crown of fire is associated with a false light, a fire so bright that it could be mistaken for the dawn. If the tower crowned with fire – the lighthouse – is an image of a true light, then the burning Dragonpit is its opposite: the fiery pit is a false light – and this false light is closely associated with dragonfire.

The Dragonpit is a significant architectural landmark in King’s Landing. It sits atop The Hill of Rhaenys and is just as visually prominent as the Red Keep on Aegon’s High Hill and The Sept of Baelor on Visenya’s Hill.

(King’s Landing. Art by Tomasz Jedruszek)

When it comes to the history of King’s Landing, Rhaenys’ Hill has felt the devastating effects of both dragon- and wildfire several times over. The Dragonpit was not the first large building that was raised upon The Hill of Rhaenys. Originally, the hill was crowned by the Sept of Remembrance, built in memory of Queen Rhaenys Targaryen after she was killed in the First Dornish War. Maegor I Targaryen (called the Cruel) unleased the fire of Balerion the Black Dread on the Sept of Remembrance during his conflict with the Faith Militant.

(Maegor I Targaryen and Balerion burn the Sept of Remembrance. Art by Jordi Gonzalez Escamilla)

After the burning of The Sept of Remembrance, Maegor I had the Dragonpit built as a residence for the Targaryen dragons. Approximately 90 years later the Dragonpit burns down during the Dance of the Dragons when a mob of people stormed the building in order to kill the dragons.

A thousand shrieks and shouts echoed across the city, mingling with the dragon’s roar. Atop the Hill of Rhaenys, the Dragonpit wore a crown of yellow fire, burning so bright it seemed as if the sun was rising. Even the queen trembled as she watched, the tears glistening on her cheeks. Many of the queen’s companions on the rooftop fled, fearing that the fires would soon engulf the entire city, even the Red Keep atop Aegon’s High Hill. (The Princess and the Queen)

What is left is a burnt out shell of the mighty dome.

(The Dragonpit. Art by Franz Miklis)

About 70 years later, the Dragonpit is used to store the bodies of the multitudes that succumbed to the Great Spring Sickness. There, the bodies were cremated by wildfire.

" A dreadful time, ser, dreadful. Strong men would wake healthy at the break of day and be dead by evenfall. So many died so quickly there was no time to bury them. They piled them in the Dragonpit instead, and when the corpses were ten feet deep, Lord Rivers commanded the pyromancers to burn them. The light of the fires shone through the windows, as it did of yore when living dragons still nested beneath the dome. By night you could see the glow all through the city, the dark green glow of wildfire.” (The Sworn Sword) 

Corpses were piled in the ruins of the Dragonpit until they stood ten feet high and, in the end, Bloodraven had the pyromancers burn the corpses where they lay. A quarter of the city went up in flames along with them, but there was nothing else to be done. (tWoIaF) 

During Robert’s Rebellion, King Aerys II Targaryen had 300 jars of wildfire hidden beneath the Dragonpit. Those jars where found by the Guild of the Pyromancers in the periode leading up to the Battle of the Blackwater. It is unclear whether there still is wildfire hidden beneath the Dragonpit. 

I want to return to the burning of the Dragonpit in the novella The Princess and the Queen because the description of how dragons and men attacked each other shares some strong similarities with a scene that takes place in another pit: the scene in Daznak’s Pit in Meereen that ends with Daenerys Targaryen riding Drogon for the first time in A Dance with Dragons.

Let’s have a look at how the Storming of the Dragonpit is described in The Princess and the Queen:

No two chronicles agree on how many men and women died that night beneath the Dragonpit’s great dome: two hundred or two thousand, be that as it may. For every man who perished, ten suffered burns and yet survived. Trapped within the pit, hemmed in by walls and dome and bound by heavy chains, the dragons could not fly away, or use their wings to evade attacks and swoop down on their foes. Instead they fought with horns and claws and teeth, turning this way and that like bulls in a Flea Bottom rat pit … but these bulls could breathe fire. The Dragonpit was transformed into a fiery hell where burning men staggered screaming through the smoke, the flesh sloughing from their blackened bones, but for every man who died, ten more appeared, shouting that the dragons must need die. One by one, they did.

Shrykos was the first dragon to succumb, slain by a woodsman known as Hobb the Hewer, who leapt onto her neck, driving his axe down into the beast’s skull as Shrykos roared and twisted, trying to throw him off. Seven blows did Hobb deliver with his legs locked round the dragon’s neck, and each time his axe came down he roared out the name of one of the Seven. It was the seventh blow, the Stranger’s blow, that slew the dragon, crashing through scale and bones into the beast’s brain.

[…]

The last of the four pit dragons did not die so easily. Legend has it that Dreamfyre had broken free of two of her chains at Queen Helaena’s death. The remaining bonds she burst now, tearing the stanchions from the walls as the mob rushed her, then plunging into them with tooth and claw, ripping men apart and tearing off their limbs even as she loosed her terrible fires. (The Princess and the Queen)

Now, let us take a look at another dragon-on-human bloodbath in another pit.

In A Dance with Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen attends the gladiatorial combats in Daznak’s Pit in Meereen in celebration of the political marriage she made with a local nobleman, Hizdar zo Loraq. The blood and violence of the brutal games attract Drogon, the largest of Daenerys’ dragons and when he descends upon the pit to feast on the corpse of on of the fighters, all hell breaks loose.

One man took it on himself to be a hero. He was one of the spearmen sent out to drive the boar back to his pen. Perhaps he was drunk, or mad. Perhaps he had loved Barsena Blackhair from afar or had heard some whisper of the girl Hazzea. Perhaps he was just some common man who wanted bards to sing of him. He darted forward, his boar spear in his hands. Red sand kicked up beneath his heels, and shouts rang out from the seats. Drogon raised his head, blood dripping from his teeth. The hero leapt onto his back and drove the iron spearpoint down at the base of the dragon's long scaled neck. Dany and Drogon screamed as one. (ADwD, Daenerys IX)

The hero leaned into his spear, using his weight to twist the point in deeper. Drogon arched upward with a hiss of pain. His tail lashed sideways. She watched his head crane around at the end of that long serpentine neck, saw his black wings unfold. The dragonslayer lost his footing and went tumbling to the sand. He was trying to struggle back to his feet when the dragon's teeth closed hard around his forearm. "No" was all the man had time to shout. Drogon wrenched his arm from his shoulder and tossed it aside as a dog might toss a rodent in a rat pit. (ADwD, Daenerys IX)

The spearmen were running too. Some were rushing toward the dragon, spears in hand. Others were rushing away, throwing down their weapons as they fled. The hero was jerking on the sand, the bright blood pouring from the ragged stump of his shoulder. His spear remained in Drogon's back, wobbling as the dragon beat his wings. Smoke rose from the wound. As the other spears closed in, the dragon spat fire, bathing two men in black flame. His tail lashed sideways and caught the pitmaster creeping up behind him, breaking him in two. Another attacker stabbed at his eyes until the dragon caught him in his jaws and tore his belly out. (ADwD, Daenerys IX)

There are several points of comparison between the scenes from The Princess and the Queen and A Dance with Dragons:

Dragons burning people and tearing them limb from limb.

A man leaps onto the neck of a dragon and injures it with an axe and a spear respectively.

The phrase RAT PIT is used in both scenes, which binds them together through associative logic.

Furthermore, both scenes makes an associative connection between dragons – fire – hell. The Dragonpit is described as a “fiery hell” in The Princess and the Queen whereas Daenerys places hell in Drogon’s molten eyes:

Drogon roared. The sound filled the pit. A furnace wind engulfed her. The dragon's long scaled neck stretched toward her. When his mouth opened, she could see bits of broken bone and charred flesh between his black teeth. His eyes were molten. I am looking into hell, but I dare not look away. She had never been so certain of anything. If I run from him, he will burn me and devour me. (ADwD, Daenerys IX)

FALSE LIGHTS: PROPHECIES AND DRAGONFIRE

I find it noteworthy that both Stannis and Daenerys have the burning crown as a negative image in their chapters, especially since they are both associated with the prophecies of Azor Ahai come again and The Prince that was Promised. I have written about that here and here. Maester Aemon correctly identifies Stannis’ glowing sword, which looks like the sun made steel, as a false light – an empty glamour that will only lead into darkness. Thus, the misinterpretation of a prophecy is a dangerous thing and prophecy itself can function as a false light, which I’d argue that it does in the case of AA come again.

In the same manner, I’d argue that dragonfire constitutes another false light. If the tower crowned with fire (the Lighthouse) represents a true light, then its inversion, the fiery pit as exemplified in the Dragonpit wearing a crown of fire represents another false light. I’ve demonstrated that the Storming of the Dragonpit and Drogon’s attack on Daznak’s Pit in Meereen are connected through an associative logic based on similarities in the way these events are described – so I’d argue that you could make a case for dragonfire as another representation of a false light.

I’ve come to believe that Daenerys’ dragons won’t be the solution to the threat of the Others (see my metas here, here and here). Stannis, his false Lightbringer and the burning crown that devours the wearer from his vision represents the false light that leads Melisandre astray. Daenerys and her dragons represent another false light that lead the readers astray because the text itself introduces the possibility of the dragons as an easy solution to the problem through one of Daenerys’ dreams:

That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper's rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. The other was a nightmare, and I have only now awakened. (ASoS, Daenerys III)

Now it is established that Daenerys may have prophetic dreams like her ancestor Daenys the Dreamer. However, I cannot help but be suspicious of the ease with which the warriors armed in ice are defeated by the dragons in Dany’s dream. They simply melt away like dew after she bathes them in dragonfire. Then there’s the part of her that knows she’s dreaming but wishes that the dream is the reality. If we look at this passage in a Doylist context, the same conclusions can be applied to audience expectation. We want the dragons to be the solution to the problem of the Others because it seems straightforward and easy – but GRRM has said something that indicates that the dragons may be more of a threat than a salvation to Westeros:

Well, of course, the two outlying ones — the things going on north of the Wall, and then there is Targaryen on the other continent with her dragons — are of course the ice and fire of the title, “A Song of Ice and Fire.” The central stuff — the stuff that’s happening in the middle, in King’s Landing, the capital of the seven kingdoms […]You know, one of the dynamics I started with, there was the sense of people being so consumed by their petty struggles for power within the seven kingdoms, within King’s Landing — who’s going to be king? Who’s going to be on the Small Council? Who’s going to determine the policies? — that they’re blind to the much greater and more dangerous threats that are happening far away on the periphery of their kingdoms. (GRRM)

In this quote, GRRM explicitly states that the Fire of Dany and her dragons is one of two great, dangerous threats against Westeros that people are blind to – that blindness can be applied to bot a Watsonian and a Doylist perspective. The political players in Westeros as well as the audience are blind to the threat that Dany’s dragons present. It is very likely that she isn’t the promised saviour but rather a Destroyer on a scale that is almost equal to the others, which is something that I’ve written about previously. 

Interestingly enough, Dany has this dream the night before she has Drogon give the slaver Kraznys a burning crown that kills him. It is also noteworthy that Drogon’s flame is dark. Dragons have different coloured flames and Drogon’s flame is black fire shot with red. (Viserion’s flame is a pale golden fire shot with red and orange and Rhaegal’s flame is orange-yellow fire shot through with green). Drogon is Dany’s mount, the dragon she bonds with and his fire is black – hardly a flame that illuminates the darkness.

“THE LIGHT THAT BRINGS THE DAWN” – THE NIGHT’S WATCH

I have written several metas that touches upon the threat of the Others in relation to the symbolism employed as well as the prophecies about a chosen saviour: the series Azor Ahai, The Prince that was Promised and the Red Sword of Heroes 1-6, The Ice and the Fire of the Song 1-3 and others. They can be found here.

When pondering these issues, I keep coming back to the Night’s Watch in a way that has continued to surprise me. The legend of Lightbringer is quite possibly inspired by the obsidian blades that kills White Walkers with ease and the Night’s Watch is connected to the strongest defense against the Others: the Wall – an edifice built of ice and infused with a magic rooted in the living land.

As the story stands, the Night’s Watch is in no condition to counter this magical threat against the kingdom. The institution has dwindled in numbers as well as in reputation – and it is crippled by neglect. It has become the repository of criminals, traitors and minor nobles with nowhere else to go. They are in no way equipped to handle the threat of the Others.

Yet the symbolism of the Lighthouse is connected to the NW. The Last Hero is quite possibly Brandon the Builder who also is the likely founder of the NW as well as the builder of the Wall (and the Hightower = Lighthouse). These elements point to the NW as part of the solution and therefore I think it can be illuminating to take a closer look at the institution and its ideology. 

An important aspect of the NW is their role as apolitical protectors of the entire realm. They are The Shield that Guards the Realms of Men! They quite literally represent the ideal of people banding together against a common enemy regardless of politics, etc. This is a common trope in fantasy fiction – and GRRM uses the NW to examine this trope, subvert it and very likely reconstruct it. In my opinion, this is why the Lighthouse/Beacon as a representation of a true light that guides people through the darkness/night is connected to the Night’s Watch on a symbolic level as well as through an associative logic within the text itself.

[fire-dwelling]

Fire Force, Chapter 115, 'Oasis’

Translated from Japanese to Portuguese to English

Page 2

Narration: “The talking animals guided the Fire Force to their goal! In the land called Oasis, there is Amaterasu!”

Shinra stares in shock at the Amaterasu lookalike.

Shinra: “... Why is that here? But there is no mistake...”

Beauty: “Hey! Get down! Don’t attract attention!”

Shinra ducks down again.

Shinra: “... It was created by Vulcan’s ancestor…”

Page 3

Beauty and Shinra look out at the forest, with the Amaterasu lookalike in the center of it.

Page 4

Later, the others come up the rocks, with Viktor looking at the Amaterasu lookalike with binoculars.

Viktor: “It’s just as Shinra said. It may look small from here, but it’s Amaterasu.”

Tamaki: “It’s really Amaterasu?”

Ogun: “Even if it's not, it's too weird for something so similar to be out here.”

Pan: “We need to get down there and investigate.”

Page 5

Schop: “Our god is in the center of Oasis.”

Schop hops down the stones.

Schop: “I know a hidden path.”

The Force follow a forest path, with trees knocked down. Beauty rides atop Takeru’s head. Tamaki examines how well the land has held up in this oasis, perhaps restored by something.

Tamaki: “This tree looks healthy, too.”

Beauty: “Our god is to the northwest.”

Page 6

They continue to walk. Schop rides Pan’s shoulder.

Pan: “Where are the pirates?”

Schop: “They must have surrounded our god.”

Pan: “Which means, if we investigate, we can’t avoid them.”

Tamaki looks up at the sky.

Tamaki: “... If this god is the same thing as Amaterasu, then is Adora Burst the source of its energy, too? And did that cause this abnormal restoration of the land?”

Arthur: “But would that mean Vulcan’s ancestor didn’t make Amaterasu?”

Page 7

Viktor: “Whoever did was either with the Church of the Sun or an ancestor of Vulcan...So, which one was it?”

Ogun: “It should’ve been more likely that they just made it later…”

Shinra: “If the power of the Adora Burst caused all this vegetation to be revived...then it can be useful for restoring the world!”

Shinra: (thinking: “And that would mean the Adora Burst really is a sacred flame that can’t be tainted!”)

Viktor: “On the contrary...The Adora Burst may have been the cause for the world’s destruction.”

Page 8

Takeru is surprised to see that trees have grown around an old car.

Takeru: “!!! There are human artifacts all around…”

Ogun: “I noticed it, too. They look like objects from before the Great Disaster.”

Schop: “We’re approaching the center of the Oasis! Be very careful.”

Schop starts walking, then holds out a hand.

Schop: “Wait.”

Pan, Takeru, and Ogun: “?!”

Schop: “Look! We got to the pillar.”

Page 9

There’s a literal pillar popping up out of the ground.

Schop: “These kinds of pillars were placed around God. Now it’s more likely we’ll encounter pirates.”

Pan: “We came here just to investigate. I don’t want to have unnecessary struggles.”

Schop: “You can’t negotiate with those guys!”

Beauty: “It’s impossible to talk to them.”

Page 10

Shinra: “We may be zeroing in on the mystery surrounding those people suffering from human combustion before the Great Disaster...And if it’s like you say, that it’s impossible to negotiate with these pirates...Then I’m going to investigate, even if I have to fight!”

Pan: “...”

Schop is climbing a tree.

Schop: “Okay, okay! Whatever you say, hero!”

Pan: “That is not our mission...We can’t start a fight.”

Page 11

Shinra’s eyes look mad, as he grins.

Shinra: “And I’m not going to let anyone interfere in this investigation!”

An image of Hitohashira Me appears.

Arthur grabs Shinra by the shoulder from behind.

Arthur: “Is it happening again?”

Shinra knocks back Arthur’s hand.

Shinra: “I didn’t come all this way to go back without investigating.”

Tamaki: “I agree with Kusakabe.”

Page 12

Pan: “Okay...But we're firefighters! We’re not from the army. Fighting will be our last resort! I just want to have a peaceful negotiation.”

Schop is crying.

Schop: “Hang on! I brought you here to help us recover the Oasis!”

Pan: “I'm not going to make a unilateral decision now until I talk to them.”

Schop: “We told you they don’t want to talk!”

Behind them, it looks like some beast has opened its mouth, fire falling out of their mouth like drool.

Shinra and Arthur: “!!!”

Page 13

The Force is surrounded by Fire Dogs.

???: “Um...Dogs?! A Flame Human Dog!!!”

Page 14

One Fire Dog is sniffing Shinra’s backside.

Shinra: “Hey! That hurt, Flame Human Dog!”

Arthur: “What the hell is a ‘Flame Human Dog’?! It’s a ‘Hot Dog’!”

Hot Dogs run at Ogun and Takeru.

Ogun: “Forget the name!”

Viktor: “Just run!”

Page 15

Pan runs, with Schop on his shoulder--who starts shoving his face.

Schop: “I warned you! Talking doesn’t work with them!”

Pan: “You mean those ‘pirates’ were dogs?!”

Translation note: While “dog” in Japanese can also mean “spy,” I’m not familiar with “dog” meaning “thief,” “pirate,” or “bandit.”

Shinra, Viktor, and Ogun are climbing a tree.

Shinra: “Climb up the tree!”

Takeru is swinging his arms are the Dogs bite.

Takeru: “Ow! That hurts! Help! Someone help!”

Tamaki puts her hands together in prayer.

Tamaki: “Ashes to ashes…May your soul...return to the raging flames.”

Page 16

The Dogs evaporate.

Tamaki: “Raatomu...Save all from the flames, even if they’re dogs. That is our mission as firefighters.”

Page 17

Pan: “You should have said they were dogs from the beginning.”

Schop: “You shouldn’t have come here!”

Schop starts crying.

Schop: “My friends were devoured by those dogs...I had even tried to fight them! But…”

Pan: “ ‘But’?”

Schop: “Their boss is even stronger--there was nothing I could do.”

Shinra climbs down the tree and looks on.

Shinra: “...”

Page 18

Shinra spots Amaterasu--and hears a voice.

???: “Protect the forest…”

Shinra: “?!”

Page 19

Fire seems to surround him.

Shinra: (thinking: “It’s...the Adora Link…’Protect’? Did I just hear the God that dwells inside Amaterasu?”)

Narration: “Suddenly, an Adora Link--and coming from Amaterasu?! Shinra, find out who is behind this mysterious voice! To be continued in Chapter 116: ‘The Holy Land’!”

[askredrage]

Open up your EYE (Thoughts on MLP Movie)

Has the show gotten one of those characters that doesn't know what a sense of humor is and fights back with combat?  Or am I thinking of a lot of reformed characters from other media? Spoilers down below.  Haven't seen the movie?  Well the DVD/Blu-Ray aren't far behind.

Um...so that was the movie I had almost missed out on, huh?  Well it was.........something... Ok, so I'm afraid this "review" is going to be EXTREMELY difficult to judge because the night before I actually watched Disney/Pixar's Coco first (by the way, 10/10, would DVD/Blu-Ray again).  And sitting down to watch this movie second was probably a huge mistake as this movie left me with a rather sour taste in my mouth.  Perhaps if I waited to see Coco later, then I wouldn't feel this...negative.  I'm the kind of person that goes to the movies a ton so I'm pretty much judging this movie along with all the other movies I've gone to see in the past several years. So let's get an obvious good thing out of the way first; the movie's return to 2-D or 2.5-D animation.  Never in a long time since Princess and the Frog in 2009 have I been glad to see the return of hand-drawn styled animation.  It's actually quite interesting when you learn that the movie characters were actually made 3-D FIRST before becoming 2-D characters in a 3-D world.  Speaking of which, a major chunk of the pony characters don't feel like repeatedly used poses like in the TV show.  They've been given a similar design to the show but more expressive and created with greater, fluid movement in a few areas.  So of course Pinkie Pie would be the one to mostly get the spotlight in this area.  I think people were worried about the 3-D landscaping dampening the style, but I'll let it slide as they did create the landscapes beautifully.  Plus 3-D environments have worked for 2-D movies in the past.  Talk to a good chunk of Disney Renaissance movies like Beauty and the Beast's Ballroom. An interesting way to segue into this next part.  Whereas the Disney Movies were mostly the movie first and merchandise later, Hasbro's the company that will make a product first then get their animators to make an episode or movie around it.  Also I am aware that Hasbro has one hell of a leash on these animators.  They've probably had a ton of amazing ideas for a My Little Pony movie to appeal to all audiences instead of the targeted one.  But what I was given to view not fell into my low expectations...it went even LOWER!  Perhaps being exposed to Coco first had ruined my enjoyment for this as there was much needed room for improvement. See if I can sequence this a bit.  Let's start with the story.  Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship has created a massive party in an unusually-styled Canterlot that's looking a bit spacious than the busting city I'm usually seeing in the show.  Through some comedic introductions, a song and a series of show-related cameos we are given the things that the outside audience needs to know.  Things get shaken up when Tempest Shadow, an broken-horned unicorn visitor representing for the Storm King, arrives with an army to take over the entire kingdom in order to siphon the magic out of the four princesses.  Now it's up to Twilight and her five friends (not six, Starlight Glimmer got shoved out of the spotlight) to find aid outside Equestria and take back their home capital. Interestingly enough, the one hour and forty-four run time actually felt kind of long when normally I'm sitting for two to three hour-long movies...but then it quickly sped through the story in a poor pace to show off their new toys/playsets and have money left in their budgets.  I'm probably not the first to say this movie was poorly paced, am I?  From memory, I think the longest we've stuck with a setting outside Canterlot was probably the desert city of Klugetown.  You could probably argue that perhaps it was Hippogriffia/Seaquestria but events there kinda made me WANT to make it go faster.  Get to that part in a second. Songs?  As a 90's kid, you know that most of the songs are either set aside or forgotten (like the ones in this film) for the most important one:  The Villain Song.  And Tempest Shadow's Open Up Your Eyes (currently having its instrumental being spammed repeatedly during this typing) is indeed worthy of the title "Villain Song".  The setting, the lighting, the flashback made by a different team (according to the credits), I loved it all.  I'd say it reminds me of Unleash the Magic from Friendship Games but I rank this song much higher. Honorary note for Sia's Rainbow.  I'm being told by some reviews that the song felt a bit too somber for a finale but I don't know, this felt like a calm, perfect way to wrap up the movie with.  I haven't a clue what the problem with it was. Finally, how about the characters.  We've got your familiar TV show cast along with a ton of celebrity voices, including Sia as Songbird Serenade at the beginning and end of the movie who is literally modeled after one of her actual outfits.  I chuckled when I dug up her photo, I don't know how she manages to see through that hair.  Other noteworthy celebrities that got a good chunk of screen time were Kristin Chenoweth as Princess Skystar, Liev Schriber as the Storm King, Zoe Saldana as Captain Celaeno, Michael Peña as Grubber the Hedgehog and Taye Diggs as Capper the anthropomorphic cat.  Most have been given the appropriate amount of screen time while others (STORM KING, MAIN ANTAGONIST OF THE FREAKING MOVIE), were held off until the end.  Oh yeah, that one Parrot Pirate with the squawking and demolitions.  Loved that guy. Sadly, the weakest of the group was the Storm King himself and not just because he was saved for the climax.  Previous TV show antagonists have ranged from either self-motivated tyrants to strategic conquerors for their own kind.  This knucklehead is literally announced as "evil" from Grubber and there just wasn't much from him to label him as an awesome villain.  Even his own funny moments couldn't save him.  And this is coming from a guy who isn't very fond of Starlight Glimmer yet she's still WAY more interesting than this cloud yeti.  Oh well, maybe next time don't model your villain to be a lazy, wacky monkey. On the other side of the spectrum, however, is Emily Blunt as Tempest Shadow, the true antagonist of the movie, picking up all the work for the Storm King to restore her cracked horn.  Compared to "her boss" this character has her own goals and motivations, sort of like a bounty hunter or mercenary. Kudos there as those areas would reach up into the top three MLP:FIM villains on my list.  Sadly, as the movie is indeed called "Friendship is Magic", she's (OMG) reformed much like many of the other unicorns in this show (Anyone seeing a trend here?).  Regardless, when she was a villain, this was a skilled and probably self-trained fighter trying to regain her happiness through any means necessary, even serving a clown.  Even gave me a chuckle when she lost her cool in Canterlot in front of Grubber before realizing and calming down. The Mane Six and Spike are mixed in their performances and what they're given to do.  I'll have to rate them all from best to worst...you're not gonna love who's on the bottom. Pinkie Pie stuck out the most with previously mentioned animations and tons of interactions with the girls and the strangers they came across.  Side-note:  She is mean with a barge of cupcakes; had they been red-frosting, that fight scene might have been banned.  We even get a serious moment with her and Twilight where--getting ahead of myself.  Getting there soon, promise. Rainbow Dash, despite causing some extra trouble, gives the "awesome" the movie needs including getting the Parrot Pirates off their rears to face off against their former employers...that doesn't last long. Rarity's charm and generosity got Capper the cat to not only change Tempest's army's course but gather the other characters for a full on pledged climax fight. Fluttershy has hardly anything except the funniest moment in the entire film regarding opening up with a Storm King soldier.  Honestly want to know what became of those guys now. Spike, you trustworthy pal and weapon.  The TV show might have given you terrible episodes but who would have thought you'd become a necessary Pyro tool?  TF2 Workshop!  Make a mod!  NOW! Applejack...sold apple juice and roped a few people and rocks.  That's uh....that's about it. ....you all hate me now for this:  Twilight Sparkle ends up on the bottom heavily and deserves it all from actions, character writing and poor pace.  Our beloved Princess of Friendship is still the nerdy and orderly princess aimed at saving her home kingdom enough to act grumpy, annoyed and careless in her actions.  Said carelessness led to attempted robbery and created the biggest and most painful moment of the movie:  When Twilight angrily lashes out at Pinkie by saying she'd be better off without friends like them.  Not only was this stupidly painful, but it was the necessary tool for the whole "We're not friends anymore but then we get back together later" bit.  And said apology was being shoved in a climax to be ignored for comedic effect.  Now if perhaps both Twilight and Tempest were together during the end of the battle for apologies, that would not only be forgivable but an excellent moment for the movie.  But no...more like the Princess of Pace-dumping. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I know, I know, this is a movie targeted towards children, but so was Coco.  It would really help if some of that Disney magic could save the MLP Movie from its Hasbro chains.  I know if the team wasn't being held back, they could have gotten away with much, much more to save the film from me giving it a 4/10. Well, this is the West Coast Psycho, and in the words of Max G, "I hope ya hated it."

[mannunope]

HOO Superhero AU

This pretty much covers the Olympians. Percy, Annabeth, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Leo, and Nico. They only unite for large scale threats, like Kronos, an immortal time controlling warrior from the Bronze Age, Calamity, a woman who can shake the Earth to it’s very core and the one responsible for the destruction of the Atlanteans, and the Snow Queen, a woman who controls and creates a deadly form of ice that is poisonous even to the Olympians. She seeks to freeze the whole world over with her lethal ice and leave no survival for humanity.

Alright so I couldn’t keep this in. I cannot stop thinking of a superhero AU for PJO, and I’ll be damned if I take it to my grave.

Percy

His superhero alias is the Typhoon.

He can control water, it’s temperature, and has control over it’s two other states (vapor and ice).

He swims crazy fast. Like, 240 mph crazy fast.

He is strong enough to lift 25 tons above land.

He can lift 50 tons when under or submerged in water.

If the situation deems it necessary, Percy can create tsunamis and hurricanes.

On one scary occasion, he controls blood and poison. He has only used this ability once.

Percy has divinity over all sea animals. He’s pretty tight with the Loch Ness Monster, though.

He doubles as Percy Jackson, 20 year old lifeguard and college student majoring in marine biology.

For in those really tough spots, water heals Percy of almost any wound.

So basically, Percy is a way cooler Aquaman.

He wields an indestructible glowing bronze cutlass (a lil pirate theme) with blue Atlantean runes that glow whenever he uses his powers. It’s an ancient Atlantean sword found under the ruins  of Atlantis, only to be wielded by it’s king.

Percy’s been a superhero since the age of fourteen.

His role in the Olympians is the loose cannon/the glue that keeps them together. He sometimes takes charge in areas where Jason lacks the strength to.

Annabeth

So her name is totally the Silver Owl.

Annabeth has eidetic memory.

She had a genius level intellect with an IQ of 205.

She is an excellent strategist...so don’t ever go against her in chess. She can and will demolish you.

She is a pro gymnast and acrobat, with a ninth degree black belt in karate. She has peak human everything. So yeah...she kicks ass.

Annabeth can become naked to the human eye.

Later on, she also can become intangible, allowing for gruesome torture tactics on spies and villains that won’t talk. She rarely does this.

Annabeth engineered these awesome silver wings that are almost sentient.

They are synced up to her mind, so they react like extra limbs.

Her wings’ feathers are deadly and razor sharp. With a single thought, Annabeth can fire them machine gun style at an enemy.

These feathers are magnetic, so they return back to her wings once their uses are fulfilled.

These feathers can break through steel.

By day she is a part time librarian and a 21 college student getting her masters in Architecture.

She serves as the strategist of the group and the voice of reason.

She’s been at this superhero shit since the age of nine.

Frank

I struggled with this one, but the superhero name I came up with for him is the Crimson Beast.

Frank can turn into any beast imaginable.

Unicorn? Been there, done that.

Dragon? Please, don’t make him laugh.

Lizard with the butt of a donkey? Frank would hate to admit it, but he’s tried it before.

He is crazy strong. His limit is 75 tons.

Frank can telepathically communicate with any animal in existence.

He is honestly bulletproof.

For some reason, when I think of superhero!Frank, I think of a X from Magnus Chase. So yeah, berserker!Frank.

When you piss Frank off too hard, he becomes an invulnerable, nigh unstoppable force of nature.

He is one of the two legacies on the team. A legacy is a descendent of a superhero. Frank’s father, Berserker,

He serves as the muscle of the team.

Don’t worry though, he’s still a softie on the inside. He’s an 20 year old college student who majors in Veterinary Medicine.

Frank’s been at this doing his thing since he was 15.

Hazel

She is the Misteria

Hazel summon’s jewels to her aide, as well as being able to cause earthquakes.

Her eyes glow a golden yellow when she uses her “Mist” abilities.

Her “Mist” can curse objects and people with bad luck.

She can fire her jewels straight from the ground with some thought.

It eventually gets to the point where she can summon a layered and protective barrier of gems to protect her from most any attack.

Her mist control can also erase memories

A strong 40 tonner.

Hazel doesn’t even wield her sword. She controls it telepathically.

Hazel is a high school sophomore who just wants to prove herself. She lives with her half brother Nico di Angelo and their father, Hades.

She works at her father’s jewelry store with Piper.

Jason

Now presenting to you, the paragon of justice- Skybolt!

This dude can fly.

He can control the winds and storms.

Jason can fly at speeds up to 250 mph.

He’s pretty strong-a 40 tonner.

He can create a funnel of wind to misdirect most long distance attacks.

Jason fights with the use of his electrokinesis.

He’s a long ranged type of guy, who likes blasting his enemies from afar.

He is struggling with the concept of electromagnetism, while his older sister, Thalia, was bomb af at it.

He is much more comfortable with his air powers though, and can literally take one’s breath away. Tornadoes are his shit.

Best believe he is the golden boy and the leader of the Olympians.

He is known for keeping calm in tough situations.

He is constantly trying to live up to his powerful father, Captain Jupiter’s expectations.

He’s been superheroing ever since he was 6 years old and thrust into the role as Captain Jupiter’s sidekick since Thalia pulled a Nightwing.

Eventually he grows out of the sidekick role and owns villains on his own terms.

He is an 20 year old college student studying economics.

Piper

Her name is Nightingale

Her voice is appealing to anyone who hears it.

Like it takes the sound of whatever sound is most appealing to the person.

It lulls you asleep as your body takes over to whatever she wants you to do.

Her power is hypnosis, and she uses that to her advantage a lot.

This power has grown to the point where she can even control animals and mass (100-200) hordes of people before using up energy.

She also uses a form of precognition, in which she can see glimpses of the future.

She can also sense feelings. She has to touch the person first in order to gain this.

This indirectly allows her to find the most important tie to their soul (the person’s most powerful memory).

She can also bring the recently dead back to life. She can restart a heart and lessen pain intake with her sweet, soft voice.

By day she is an 20 year old, insanely talented journalist.

She often functions as the distraction in missions.

Leo

Leo is Infierno.

He, obviously, has pyrokinesis.

His white hot flames can mend steel.

Leo is very pissed that the Human Torch in comics can fly but he can’t.

He has found a way by inventing the F.E.S.T.U.S. Network, which can do a variety of things. Hacking into supercomputers, access to stoplight signals, records of all criminals; you name it, it can do it.

F.E.S.T.U.S. can deploy a fire proof hoverboard meant to clock in at speeds of 200 mph.

He can sort of glide without it by lightning his arms on fire as thrusters.

Leo keeps the F.E.S.T.U.S. network in a high tech red watch.

Leo is impervious to heat and has a high tolerance to low temperatures.

He is wary around ice, since the evil supervillain the Snow Queen wields it with malicious intent, and is dominates his only weakness.

Leo is a 20 mechanic who helps out in his dad’s workshop ever since his older brother, Charles, died.

Leo functions as the team’s technician, though is jokingly called by Piper the “Repair Boy” and by Percy as “Grease Monkey”.

Leo hates this. He will, however, answer to Supreme Commander Leo.

Leo has been a superhero since the age of 15.

Nico di Angelo

Nico di Angelo is the Night Wraith.

Nico serves as the team’s detective.

He can summon ghosts. He often uses them to find any leads on villains.

He uses a form of teleportation known as shadow travelling to get from Point A to Point B.

He later on finds that he can summon the undead to his aid and create his own band of skilled zombie soldiers.

His favorite thing to do is summon a huge ass T-Rex skeleton to do his bidding and ride on.

Nico is so skilled with shadows to the point that he can expand his own and use it to escape harsh situations.

Nico can solidify darkness into a lethal sword for him to use.

He can use the shadows as a portal to transport his undead army to his desired location.

This tires Nico greatly, and he often passes out after doing this act.

Nico also manipulates the darkness to create hands and claws to trip on-foot criminals.

Nico is the 18 year old son of Hadrian “Hades” di Angelo, the owner of a jewelry store and a successful funeral arrangement company. He lives with his half-sister, Hazel.

Nico’s weakness is intense, ultraviolet light. This can disorient and sap Nico’s power.

Nico’s been a hero since the age of 13.