#he would just be absolutely delighted to be on a farm & he’d be so excited to see all the animals & i want them all to take a trip to belle

[frogchiro]

Ok but imagine naga!pantalone. Maybe you’re a young maiden from the nearby village who lives in your family’s cottage at the edge of the village, right at the edge of the woods. You frequently go out into the forest to forage for nuts and berries in the nearby clearing, and it’s on one of these trips you’re spotted by the monster of the woods, the naga that people talk about only in hushed whispers to terrify the village children into staying away from the forest. He watches you foraging and it just ignites his more primal instincts; all he can thing about is how good of a mate you’d be, how well you’d be able to provide for a clutch of his eggs. He decides in that moment that he’ll do whatever it takes to woo and win you over; he must have you. He starts out small, at first; leaving little trinkets in the clearing at night, small and delicate golden bangles and rings he’d stolen and swindled from travelers. He’s absolutely delighted when you accept what he’s offered you, picking up the small silver engagement ring, inlaid with a fortune’s worth of black diamonds and roses made from labordorite, in wonder and slipping it on your ring finger- “just to try it out, to see if it fits,” you’d told yourself. He leaves you a flowing black dress with shimmering indigo embroidery the next day. For your wedding day, he decides; after all, you’ve accepted the engagement ring he gave to you, shouldn’t he give you a wedding dress to go with it? He wants you to look good on your wedding night- not that you don’t look good to him everyday. From there you find no less than three more rings, all made with exceptionally high quality and expensive jewels and crystals, five more dresses all made from exotic and rare fabrics, and, strangest of all, a large wicker basket lined with the softest, plushest furs, with note inside reading “For our eggs.” You’re confused about who left you this basket, which you know is yours, along with all the other gifts, because it has a card covered in goldleaf with your name written in elegant script on it (pantalone learned your name by listening carefully to you talk to your friends while you were having picnics with them in the clearing; he was a little upset you’d let them into your shared “territory” but then decided you must really trust them to let them into your space like that, and that any friend of yours is a friend of his- your friends started receiving smaller gifts of money after that; he figured it would make you happy if those you love are cared for). You’re a little off put by the note left inside, and you briefly consider leaving this particular gift behind before deciding that denying an obsessed naga’s, what assume is a naga anyway, gift could only end badly for you. So you reluctantly scoop the large basket into your arms and carry it with you back to your cottage to shove into your closet and forget about. Pantaloon doesn’t see your hesitation, however; all he sees is a loving, doting little mate preparing to be bred and take allllll of his eggs. -🐍 snake anon

snake anon...this had me by the balls even before the shadowban and i was so excited to answer this ;; you never miss with those, i won't i actually loved to keep this all for myself but now it's time for this masterpiece to be seen <3

f!reader,slight yandere pantalone, obsessive/possessive behavior, hybrids (naga!pantalone), mention of breeding kink

also reader being aware of the naga?? it's so good, like, imagine the constant feeling of uneasiness-the feeling of someone watching you, analyzing every single part of you, basically undressing you of your very being until there's nothing left to hide; and the best, or worst, part? it's a whole naga that is behind all of this, the sudden gifts, basically showering you in gold and every materialistic thing you'd need; by all means you weren't poor or starving or anything like that, you had your own small cottage in the woods and you were damn good with farming and the occasional foraging in the forest was always a success, so much that you even get to sell part of your crops for a fair share of mora, but you definitely weren't complaining about the sudden appearance of the gifts, jewelry that you'd never be able to afford, the sparkling silver rings and gold bracelets worth a fortune and the sheer beauty of them amazed you so much you didn't even had the heart to sell them, instead you decided on wearing a silver ring with black diamonds that sparkled as if the whole starry night sky was captured inside the tiny stones.

only then after starting to wear the ring things seemed to go south. suddenly the gifts seemed to shift their purpose a little, or were you just paranoid? instead of only costly jewelry you suddenly started getting thick beautiful furs, of course you weren't complaining! they were so thick and warm, they made the perfect bedding for your bed, especially now that summer ended and the cold nights started.

besides furs you also started getting meat. it was of amazing quality and it was always fresh as if the animal was caught just moments before, but it kinda creeped you out, 'is this a bad prank?' you thought as you stared at the carefully wrapped cuts and despite your better judgement you took it with you, after all beggars can't be choosers and you can't exactly rely on the veggies and fruits you grew in your garden all fall and winter.

but the weirdest of all gifts that basically cemented your fate was a wicker basket lined with a thick luxurious fur with a tiny note inside of it that said 'for our eggs'. to say you were put off by it was a slight understatement but you weren't stupid and put two and two together, it was a naga, and it was the very same naga that gifted you all the previous gifts. it wasn't really surprising, nagas were known to be terribly territorial creatures and once they claimed a territory? they'd die defending it.

and you were in the territory. you gulped as you thought about it, all the marks, all the signs that there was a naga in the forest you lived so close to, a big male if you were correct by the size of the marks; and refusing a gift from a territorial naga could be...disastrous to say the least. so without more delay you took the wicker basket with the note with you to your home and out it safely inside your closet. while you were slightly unnerved by the new revelation you were also kinda...flattered? that a creature so big and majestic took an interest in you of all people. but it was a worry for another day, now you had to rest since the next morning you had to take a trip to town!

what you didn't know was that the naga, pantalone, was observing you all the time and ever since he took an interest in you months prior he finally had enough of the wait, he had to make you his since he noticed other male nagas taking interest in you, his little one. he wasn't feeling threatened of course but fighting off other male nagas could be rather...bothersome and further delay your mating. and what is a bigger 'fuck off, she's mine' to others than nesting with you and you being pregnant with his eggs? yes, he had to act quickly.

so imagine your surprise and horror after returning the next evening from town and finding a naga nestled in your bed, very aggressively pulling and pushing the comforters and various furs around in a...circle? before finally the naga lifted his head and looked at you with cunning golden eyes, a forked tongue making its way out of his mouth and flicking in your direction before a large grin appeared on his mouth, rows of razor sharp teeth inside his mouth.

despite the terrible circumstances you had to admit one thing, the male was gorgeous. eyes the color of molten mora with a cat like pupil in them, long black hair flowing down in luxurious waves around his pale face, his broad chest speckled with black and silver scales and the centerpiece-his tail. long and coiling with strong muscles, its tip swaying lazily like the tail of a cat, now though it's coiled in a loop inside your bed-not, your nest, you think as you remember one of the strange notes that was attached to one of the furs you got.

you gulp heavily as you watch the big creature grin in amusement and stretch out his heavy hand for you to take and seal the deal of you becoming this naga's...mate? partner? wife?

and, despite your better judgement, you shakily lift your much smaller hand and out it in his. after all, winter is coming and times are changing, wherever you'd go it seemed to be dangerous; bandits, treasure hoarders and the new rumors about the activity of the abyss order? it would do you good to have a strong protector by your side, he's quite charming in his own ways and who knows what the future will bring...

pantalone on the other hand is grinning so wide that he thinks his face will split soon but he doesn't care one bit. he finally made his feeling and himself known to you and you willingly accepted him! first you accepted his advances and courting, even the engagement ring he provided you with! all he needs now is to get you pregnant with his clutch of eggies and he'll be the happiest creature to ever live.

yeah, the future does seem to be very promising indeed <3

[newtonsheffield]

Ooh, can we please get Newton Thoughts on him thinking he's running the whole damn farm and how did anything get done before he got there? He looks at Anthony like, "OK, Mum and I have to go to London. Please don't undo all my hard work while we're gone."

Oh my god, imagine

Here’s some Newton thoughts™️

Newton sighed as he looked over at Katie’s mate, shaking his head. Anthony was a very nice man, he really was. Newton had been curious about him since Katie had lain on their old bed with him and sighed,

“Okay, it’s silly because he lives really far away but I really like him, Buddy.”

Newton had no idea who he was but he was a curious, so he nudged her with his nose to go on.

“I… really want to meet him in person but he hasn’t asked me and… you know what, I’m going to do it. I’m going to pretend I have a reason to go to Kent and I’ll ask him to meet me and we’ll just… rip off the bandaid.”

Newton nestled against her neck in support.

He was feeling a little less supportive when he was unceremoniously dumped at Eddie and Goosey’s. With only his travel bed to sleep on, and a handful of toys. He’d tried giving Katie the cold shoulder when she came to pick him up on Sunday night, smelling completely unlike herself. He sniffed delicately at her as she bundled him into the car and huffed as he smelled the masculine scent clinging to her.

So the meeting with her new mate had gone well. Interesting.

“Newton, he was so sweet!” Kate said on the way home, “I had the best time with him. I think me and Anthony could really be something. And! Get excited, little guy, we’re going to the country next weekend and you’ll get to run around the farm with the sheep. That’ll be fun.”

Newton huffed, trying not to sound too interested in case Katie got the idea that he’d be moving to a farm of all places.

But as the week had worn on Katie had sounded so happy every time Anthony had called her and truly: by the time Friday came around he’d been desperate to see this Anthony. Curious about what had gotten Katie so enamoured with him.

He’d sat in his car seat and watched the grass roll by, a little mournful that he wouldn’t be able to chase his favourite squirrel tomorrow morning. But he supposed if this Anthony had a farm, as he’d been promised, there might be one there. From the second they arrived Newton felt excitement building in his chest as Kate let him out, the grass soft under his paws, the air filled with so many smells.

A man stepped forward, waving to Kate a little nervously, “Kate, Hi! You made it!”

“Hey, Babe.” Kate wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close and Newton averted his eyes.

“This must be Newton.”

Yes, Newton huffed as Anthony crouched in front of him, scratching behind his ears. Thank you for finally greeting me. Took you long enough.

Anthony smelled nice though, Newton was a little dismayed to notice, and his hands were warm but Newton had gotten immediately distracted by the two pups who had run up behind him. They smelled close to Anthony, but they weren’t his puppies, Newton didn’t think as he licked the girl’s face, giddy at her delighted laughter. He liked the pups. They gave him treats and let them sleep on their beds but even better than the pups were the sheep.

Newton loved that. He loved running around after them and he realised with a sigh that Anthony needed his help if he was going to get this place in order. He seemed absolutely bloody determined to undo Newton’s hard work as quickly as possible. He kept moving the sheep to ridiculous spots around the yard no matter how many times Newton called out to him.

Anthony! No! No! The other way!

And normally, Newton wouldn’t mind doing the most work out of everyone. He was used to being the backbone of the family. But today him and Katie were going back to London for a few days. And he just knew when he got back Anthony would have undone everything.

Newton sighed as he walked up to Anthony, placing his paw on Anthony’s boot.

I know this is hard for you, buddy. But you need to just try and keep things running without me.

“Oh, bud.” Anthony chuckled, “Are you going to miss me?”

Honestly, I’m worried about you. I don’t know how this was a successful venture before I got here. Newton sighed, Just leave the sheep alone, please. I’ll tend to them when I get back.

[jules-douglas]

( aneurin barnard, cis male, he/him) — Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that JULIAN BEAU DOUGLAS is a THIRTY TWO year old UNEMPLOYED that’s been in Chicago for TWELVE YEARS. According to the file, they’re a mutant on LEVEL 3 with the power of PHOSPHOROKINESIS. That must be why they’re CREATIVE and ERRATIC. If you ask me, they remind me of fingertips stained with a rainbow of ink, a cheeky grin brightening a bloodless face, and the scent of acrylic paints half dried. They are affiliated with THE KAPPA RUNAWAYS.

QUICK FACTS

full name: julian beau douglas age: thirty two gender: cis man lite (like, amab and doesn’t disagree with that but he loves a bit of gender fuckery) personality: creative, sarcastic, erratic, short tempered height: 5′6 (support short king rights AND WRONGS) star sign: pisces sun, scorpio moon, taurus ascendant (born 26th february) fc: aneurin barnard notes: although aneurin has blue eyes, i’ll probably be using gifs mostly from the goldfinch and 1899, both of which he wears brown contacts in. so jules has brown eyes, and if you see me using a blue eyed gif, no you don’t < 3 also has a tattoo of a stylised moon on the inside of his right forearm with jd’s time of birth. and due to the haemophilia which is currently untreated, jules suffers from anaemia, joint pain, and general lack of energy. always cold.

TWs for illness, kidnapping + general ammo torture

TL;DR; aspiring children’s book illustrator + chronically ill individual gets kidnapped by ammo, torn away from his twin and his ambitions. years in the kappa facility with invasive experimentation left him confused, uncertain, and moody. his twin got themself kidnapped too, but managed to escape, only to return with a crack team to bust him out. this was done against jules’ will, and he is now being HELD HOSTAGE at the mercer farm where he will stay until he stops being a flight risk! the audacity :/ he’s pretty sure kappa were just trying to help him... TL;DR;TL;DR; the poorest most absolutely sopping wet little meow meow, and he’s mad about it.

Jules -- never Julian -- was always a bit fragile. He was born with haemophilia, so he never got into sports and didn’t even really like playing with the other kids. Even something harmless like a game of hopscotch could cause bleeds that would leave him feeling faint, or even hospitalised.

Consequently, he spent a lot of time in bed, off sick or going to hospital appointments. In that time he developed a love of reading. Any time he’d been off school, he would be so excited waiting for his twin and best friend, JD, to come back so he could read them excerpts from whatever book he’d fallen in love with that day -- his parents weren’t really interested, they just left him to it. He was bitter at all the potential JD seemed to have, able to run and jump and play, so sometimes he was sharp and moody with them, but it never lasted long.

Eventually went to college on a scholarship. He was studying English lit. and illustration: Jules wanted to make children’s books, so he could bring comfort to a generation of kids the same way his books had comforted him.

He’d always been quite open about his mutation. It brought him joy, and using it didn’t exhaust him like physical things did. While he doesn’t know exactly when AMMO took notice of him, he’s pretty sure it was at a small event at a local book festival where he and a few other students had been invited to share their projects with a few classes of kids. Jules delighted in creating rainbows and dancing lights to entertain them and make the story more real to them. A few weeks after that, he was kidnapped by AMMO.

The worst part, even among all the horrors, was being away from JD. Even when he moved away for college, he still called and emailed all the time, so to be totally cut off from his twin hurt terribly. He very quickly gave up on everything: Jules had never been energetic, and he simply didn’t have the capacity to fight back. He didn’t hope for rescue, he didn’t hope for companionship, he just hoped the next day wouldn’t hurt quite as much.

When JD first arrived, he thought he’d lost his mind. But they were really there, and then he was mad that they’d put themselves at risk for him, and then he was pathetically grateful that they were there, and then he was despondent that their lives were both wasted. He did take strength from his twin being there, though, and Jules grew a little -- or a lot -- bolder.

That boldness left him in isolation a few times; he’d always been moody, and strengthened by JD’s presence he acted out against staff a few times, which is why he was in solitary during the first escape.

Later, he is left profoundly unwell by an experiment on his brain. The electrodes were hooked up to stimulate his amygdala, to see how that might impact his ability to create light, but they delivered too high a shock. They hadn’t just been experimenting with his mutation: they also wanted to try and do a bit of old fashioned electroshock therapy to subdue his moodswings, which had been getting more and more unpredictable. They hadn’t accounted for his haemophilia, and the shocks caused some bleeding, which in turn caused him to fall into a coma for several days.

When he woke up, he was confused, and his memory was impaired, and he wasn’t even really sure where he was. A childhood spent in and out of hospitals compounded his confusion, and so his instinct in those first days after waking was to trust the doctors. Sometimes he seemed to get it, and panicked and thrashed and screamed, but sometimes he was docile and compliant, letting the doctors do what they wanted and trusting that they knew what they were doing.

It broke his heart when JD left. He didn’t understand at all, and he was equal parts enraged and despondent. In the following months, he slowly began to collect himself and understood a little better what had happened, but it was a day-by-day thing, and some days were more confusing than others, and he still struggled with headaches and moodswings -- and worst of all, light sensitivity -- which makes his mutation a little harder to wield. By the time JD, Samson, and Kayla returned to bust him out, he was confused enough that he fought against them, albeit weakly.

Having just recently returned to the outside world, he’s struggling to adjust. Being legally dead is a hurdle to just about everything, and he’s got no medication to help with clotting, so he’s particularly sickly, and the lack of energy makes it incredibly hard to even think about getting a job even if he did have ID. He also has to rely wholly on others for support, which he finds embarrassing and infuriating. He’s pissed off at a lot. Some days he’s mad they left him there for so long; some days he’s mad they took him out. Can’t win with this guy!

@forwardintros

[emmyrosee]

Hey darling💗 so what will happen when the little girl starts calling Alex and Bill „dada“? How will the three of them react? Pretty please write this for me 😫

oh... oh honey... This??? Is so cute???? how dare you do this to me???

because right- like i am a firm believer that bill and alex always call you “supermom” or “momma” or stuff like that, especially when Leah is so young and learning how to talk, almost to ensure her first word was some configuration of “mom”

Her first word was actually “peach” but that’s besides the point. Alex heard it first when he was babysitting her as you and Bill were running errands, and despite him not wanting to tell you, being Alex, he accidentally let it slip at dinner.

Anywhore.

With Leah’s first word out of the way, they continued to call you names, just to ensure she knew you were her mommy and when they would say “go to mommy” she’d go to you and not Bill which she’d done more than once much to Alex’s delight.

And then Leah started to get older.

She started to click more, become more observant and randomly look around for someone, though she couldn’t seem to pick who; Alex had bought her some old-school nursery rhyme dvd’s and some baby einstines, like those old tapes for kids to watch and be entertained by and learn with. And while Bill had refused to watch them with her (”I will wipe her ass any day of the week, but I will not subject myself to 2 hours of singing shapes and Old MacDonald Had A Farm”), Alex was more than happy to enjoy and laugh along with her.

When watching educational baby-shows with her, when the narrator would mention mommy, Leah would instantly turn to you and with her tiny little smile exclaim “mumma!” and when the narrator would mention daddy, Leah instinctively looked at Alex; and overtime, this grew into the toddler actually calling Alex “dada” for one reason extremely confusing to all three of you, absolutely crushing Bill.

Because Bill had been the one to bottle feed Leah in the late hours of the night regardless of the time. Bill had been the one carrying her on his shoulders, cleaning her vomit and spit-up and he’d been the one to put her down and wake from her naps more often than not. And while Alex of course did all of those, but he was more “fun” than he was “father.”

And it was heartbreaking to see Bill constantly pouting, wondering what he’d done wrong to make her not see him as a fatherly figure when you know its only because Alex watched those kids shows with her, making her piece it together he was the “dada” to her “mumma.”

So one day, you took a day off of work when Bill was home and Alex was far from town. You packed up an afternoon baggie with diapers, lunch and most importantly, the dvd’s she’d been watching with Alex and you haul Leah and yourself to Bill’s apartment; you knock on his door, and when he opens the green to let you in, he can barely open his mouth to ask what you were doing there before you rushed past him.

“Sit,” you demand, plopping Leah in the middle of the couch.

He groans, “I was busy-”

“And it can wait,” you say firmly, keeping your eyes on him as he finally sits, cooing down at Leah as happily as he could- which you had to give him credit, he was one hell of an actor, but you could tell the sparkle and connection he had with Leah had been tensed. You turn your attention back to the dvd player Bill had specifically for the baby videos. Behind you, you can practically feel the eyeroll Bill sends you, “I told you, I’m not watching-”

“If you would trust me for literally seven seconds,” you hiss. “I promise you, you’ll be fine.” You press play once he sighs in surrender, and you make your way to the couch, crossing your arms over your chest and keeping an eye on the Swede to make sure he wouldn’t leave.

Not that he would anyways; Leah’s eyes were fixated on the screen, her binkie in her mouth and her tiny body clinging to Bill’s side. With his arm around her, you knew he would never disturb her. 

Finally, the narrator’s overly jovial voice croons, “let’s meet our family!” which consisted of child-friendly drawings for mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts and grandparents, and once it cycles through the family again, Leah eagerly sits up, grins around her pacifier and points to you.

“Mumma!”

Bill sits up slightly, clearly not excited for what was coming. 

“Very good, Lee-Bee!” You say happily, your eyes flicking to Bill. “Where is daddy, baby?”

Her head whips to Bill, and she confidently, and like a puppy, she bounces in his lap, making him groan playfully as a smile finally cracks on his face. You watch as he pokes her to make her giggle, finally pulling her in for a tight hug and blowing a raspberry against her neck, something he always did when she was younger, and she squeals a giggly “daddyyyy!!” around some giggles.

Bill’s eyes practically bug out of his head.

“She called me daddy! She said daddy! She doesn’t even call Alex daddy!”

You nod, “it’s because he watched it with her before. He was just the closest face to match “dada;” so, he’ll be dada, and you’ll be daddy until we can teach her to say your names.” You chuckle, “but believe me, Bill; she doesn’t love Alex more.. she adores you both, believe me.”

Bill’s smile seems cemented on his face as Leah asks “daddy, juice?” around her pacifier, and you chuckle as you pack up the movies. 

You three know you’ll have to teach Leah their real names one day; or she’d learn them from you. They weren’t her father, and that was okay. For now, you could all indulge in your titles and you could enjoy the smile on Bill’s face, as well as laugh when she would call Alex “daddy” and Bill “dada” and they’d look at her with complete confusion.

[eyayah-oya]

Soar Through the Sky

Waxer/Boil plus Numa and a surprise OC (who apparently shares a name with a character in the Original Trilogy)

For @clonehavensotm

           The field was filled with dazzling colors in every shade. Everywhere they looked, there were more banners with beautiful designs, bright tents selling wares and tantalizing food, and dazzling clothes draped over every being in attendance.  Songs wove through the crowds from instruments played by old and young, while others danced and sang along.  Children ran between the stalls, flags and ribbons and sashes trailing after them like colorful feathers or tails.  Laughter, enthusiastic shouts to neighbors and friends, and above all else, the sound of the wind whistling across the field and through the tents filled the entire space with magic and comradery.

           Waxer inhaled deeply as he took it all in.  From the scent of the Rylothian spices to the colorful flags flapping in the wind to the way Numa danced eagerly between him and Boil, it all combined to give Waxer a feeling of magic.  The Rylothian Summer Festival was in full swing, and Waxer could hardly believe that he had an opportunity to experience everything with his two favorite people.

           “Nerra!  Look!” Numa cried as she tugged on their hands.  With a giggle and a high-pitched shriek of joy, she pulled Waxer and Boil into the crowds of the Festival.

           Waxer couldn’t help but laugh in return, thoroughly delighted by everything he saw.  Friends and acquaintances from Nabat shouted greetings to the trio, inviting them to their stalls or to participate in various games and dances.  Numa’s enthusiasm made everything they did even better, and they were pulled along in her wake to enjoy the many delights of the Summer Festival. Waxer loved every second of it, and whenever he glanced over at his riduur, Boil had a smile softening his face.

           For two clones who were created to die in a war, this kind of freedom and joy had never occurred to them.  Every second they spent among the freed people of Ryloth, Waxer and Boil were reminded that they were free, too.  Free to enjoy their lives.  Free to live in peace and to build a life on any planet they wanted. And above all, they were free to build a family.  To adopt Numa and start a farm with numerous pets.  Waxer and Boil were free to be people, and the Twi’leks they had made their home with welcomed them warmly into their homes and lives.  After the bigotry of the Core, living with people that recognized that clones were individuals with unique and separate personalities was the most exquisite feeling in the whole galaxy.

           “Nerra!  Nerra! Oola is here!  Oola!”  Numa pulled Waxer and Boil over to their neighbor’s stall, where the wizened old Twi’lek was selling beautiful scarves, dyed in the most stunning colors.

           “Good day, Oola,” Boil said with a nod and smile.  “I hope today has been profitable for you.”

           Oola waved them behind the tables and returned their grins.  “Business has been good, but the company is even better.  You three look like you’ve enjoyed the festivities.  Did Numa take you dancing?”

           “Yes, I did!” Numa proudly declared.  She gave a little twirl, her red and purple dress swirling around her ankles as she did.  “Nerra Waxer even danced with Nerra Boil!”

           “Did they now?” Oola grinned.  “Did they enjoy the dance?”            “Yes!  At least, I think so.  Nerra Boil wouldn’t stop staring at Nerra Waxer, but I didn’t see anything wrong with Nerra Waxer’s face.  They both had goopy smiles, too.”

           Waxer couldn’t help but laugh as he leaned against Boil. “Goopy smiles” was a pretty accurate description of the way he looked at his riduur and vice versa.

           Oola picked Numa up and placed her on their lap.  “That is because your Nerra love each other very much and are very happy on this Festival Day.  Isn’t that wonderful?”

           Numa thought about it for a second before she nodded.  “It is.”  Then she leaned in and whispered loudly to Oola.  “Can we give my nerra scarves?  I think they need scarves.”

           With a loud, boisterous laugh, Oola stood, their joints creaking with age as they settled Numa on their hip.  “I think that is an excellent idea, dear one.  Why don’t you pick one out for both and we’ll give it to them?”

           Waxer leaned against Boil, and his riduur automatically adjusted his stance to brace their combined weight easily.  He watched their neighbor and their little girl walk around the tables of Oola’s booth, stopping every once in a while, to pick up a scarf for inspection.

           There wasn’t a single word in any language he knew that came close to describing what Waxer felt as he watched his little girl with their neighbor, happy and bright in her enthusiasm, while Boil kept an arm wrapped around his waist.  Shereshoy—a lust for life.

           “Nerra!  Look! This one matches your armor!” Numa held up a golden scarf the exact same shade as the markings on their armor and had tiny designs that reminded Waxer of Cody’s symbol.  Oola walks over and Numa puts the scarf up next to Boil’s face and then Waxer’s, a tiny frown of concentration on her face.  It’s absolutely adorable.  Numa shakes her head.  “No, not this one.  Oola, Oola, what about that one?”

           Waxer reached out and plucked the scarf from Numa’s hand. “We’ll get this one for the General. I’m sure he’d like it,” he said with a wink.

           Numa giggled and Waxer felt Boil melt against him.

           “I think I have the perfect scarves for your Nerra,” Oola said and tapped Numa on the nose.  “Come little one.  They’re in the back along with a few of my sweet cakes.”

           The pure joy and excitement on Numa’s face brought a rumbling laugh from deep within Waxer’s chest.  Whatever he had done in his short life to deserve this happiness, he didn’t know, but he was going to embrace every second of it with all his heart.  “Come on, Boil.  Let’s go steal some of Oola’s cakes.  I know they’re your weakness.”

           Mumbled grumbles and threats did nothing to hide the same happiness and peace within Boil’s eyes and Waxer couldn’t help but tug him into a kiss right there in the middle of Oola’s stall.  Warmth curled in his heart as Waxer carded his fingers through Boil’s thick curls.  Boil tugged him even closer by the waist and smirked against his lips.

           “I thought you wanted cake?” he said between kisses.

           “This is better,” Waxer responded and he pulled back enough to press a soft peck to the tip of Boil’s nose.  “Numa will be fine for a few minutes, and Oola will keep her occupied and mostly out of trouble.”

           “You do realize this is Numa, you’re talking about? She’s probably going to drop cake into a crate full of scarves.”

           Waxer snickered and gave his riduur one final, lingering kiss before he laced their fingers together.  “You’re not wrong.  Besides, we need to get to the open field for her surprise.”

           “Nerra!” Numa called from behind the curtain and Boil snorted.

           “Duty calls,” he said with a fond smile.

           Behind the curtain, Oola and Numa were standing side by side, both with their hands behind their backs and wide grins on their faces.

           “Nerra, Oola was right!  These scarves are the most perfectest scarves!” Numa enthused with a bounce.  “But you have to close your eyes!”

           “But what if we trip and fall?” Waxer teased.  “We have to keep our eyes open!”

           Numa shook her head ferociously.  “No, you have to!  You won’t fall, I promise!”

           “Alright Numa,” Boil cut in before Waxer could do something like swoon and fake fall.  “We trust you.”  He closed his eyes and Waxer followed suit, refraining from peeking even a little, though he was desperately curious about the scarves Numa had discovered.

           He felt Numa’s small hands wrap a cool, silken scarf around his neck and then press their foreheads together in a soft keldabe. Waxer almost melted on the spot, just like he did every time she did that.  He squeezed Boil’s hand instead, knowing that his riduur would understand completely.  A gentle squeeze was the only response he got before Numa pulled back and presumably gave Boil the same treatment.

           Outside the tents, the crowds shouted and laughed and sang with the easy happiness and freedom that had fallen over Ryloth after the war had ended.  The Twi’lek people had been hit hard by the Separatists and were almost constantly being invaded by greedy generals and hoards of droids.  Once the war was over, the 212th volunteered to help push the last of the invaders out of the system, and Waxer and Boil had eagerly reunited with Numa. Their lives were all so much better now, and not just for the two clones.  The Summer Festival was a celebration of the lives that were spared and the rich history that would keep living on in the hearts of the people.

           After a couple more seconds, Waxer felt Numa and Oola back away and he couldn’t help the way he shifted impatiently, despite Boil’s mocking snort.  He was curious to see these scarves that Numa had picked out for them.

           “Okay, open your eyes!” Numa cried and clapped her hands.

           Waxer opened them immediately and looked down.  The scarf was painted like the sunsets on Ryloth, with vivid reds and oranges and pinks.  On the edge, a small homestead with three figures stood watching the sunset. Looking closer, Waxer realized that the two taller figures were wearing clone armor and the little one had the exact same shade of skin as Numa.  Tears pricked Waxer’s eyes as he gently ran his fingers over the warm design, his heart beating with the strength of his love for his family.

           With a soft sniffle, he swallowed back the tears and turned to look at Boil’s scarf.  It was indigo and deep blue, stars painted across the expanse of the material along with the words, written in Mando’a, “Aliit ori’shya taldin”.  Family is more than blood.  It was a fitting scarf for Boil.

           Letting go of Boil’s hand, Waxer practically leapt forward to pull both Oola and Numa into his arms in a tight hug.  He pressed a soft kiss to Numa’s forehead.  Two seconds later, he felt Boil wrap them in a hug as well.

           “Thank you both so much,” Waxer managed to say through the tightness of his throat.  “They’re beautiful.”

           “You’re my Nerra,” Numa said simply as though that explained everything.  Maybe it did.

           Boil didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. They could all see how much he appreciated the scarf and his family.

           “Oh, get off,” Oola laughed.  They patted Waxer’s cheek and he reluctantly let go, sliding Numa from their arms and into his own.  “You boys better get going if you want to make it in time.”

           “Make what in time?” Numa asked curiously.

           “Well,” Boil began as he put an arm around Waxer’s waist and placed a hand on Numa’s back.  “We decided to make you a surprise and we have to go now before it’s too late.”

           “A surprise!  Like a cake?!” Numa exclaimed.  She wriggled excitedly, her eyes shining brightly up at both Waxer and Boil.

           “Not a cake,” Waxer laughed.  “Though we will definitely have cake later.  If you want to see the surprise, we have to go now, though.”

           “Yes.  Go now, Nerra!  We should go now!”

           Boil snorted, but stepped back to lead the way through the crowds.  They were pulled into dances as they walked past various performers and families, and the trio stopped to share a few moments with each one.  They passed a stall selling the most delicious smelling fruit dessert that Waxer had to stop and get one for each of them, much to Boil’s and Numa’s obvious delight.  Boil paused and bought a little trinket for Numa from a family that sold beautiful blown glass creatures.  Several people commented on the scarves the two clones were wearing, and they gladly pointed them in the direction of Oola’s stall before continuing on through the crowd.

           Finally, they arrived at the enormous open field, set aside for the main event of the Summer Festival.  There were hundreds of people across the waving, golden grass, lounging on blankets or rough-housing in the dirt or inspecting various poles and fabrics.

           Waxer shifted Numa slightly so he could get a good look at her face.  Her eyes darted around the field, taking in all the bright colors.  It was a stunning sight, though Waxer wasn’t sure she quite understood what her surprise was yet.

           “This way,” Boil grunted and led the way to the far side of the field where he’d stashed their surprise earlier that day.  A blanket was spread out on the ground alongside a picnic basket and a neat bundle of cloth and sticks.  Numa’s heavily pregnant aunt was nearby, watching over their things for them while they enjoyed the stalls and wares sold during the Festival.

           “Nerra Boil?  What is that?” Numa asked curiously.

           “That, ad’ika, is your surprise.”

           Numa wiggled until Waxer put her down on the ground and she immediately darted to the bundle, looking it over with great interest. It was obvious that she wasn’t quite sure what it was, nor why it was so special it had to be a surprise, and she was looking at Waxer and Boil expectantly.

           “Numa,” Waxer began, “do you remember what happens here during the afternoon?”

           With an adorable tilt to her head, Numa answered, “A sack race?”

           “They’ll have a few of those later,” Boil agreed.  “But that’s not what Waxer is talking about. Do you remember when we came here a few weeks ago?  And your blanket was blown away by the wind?”

           She perked up.  “I do! Nerra Waxer chased it all the way home!”

           “That’s right,” Waxer smiled.  “Today is going to be just as windy.  And during the Festival, everyone brings a kite to fly in the wind.”

           If possible, Numa’s eyes grew rounder, darting between Waxer and the bundle on the blanket.  “Is that a—a kite?” she asked, her feet dancing in place while she clapped. “Is my surprise a kite?”            “You’re really smart,” Boil said.  “Waxer and I decided to make a kite, just for you.  It’s got a tail, too, to help it fly better in the wind. We figured you’d like to join in when everyone else flies their kites this afternoon.”

           “I get my own kite!” Numa whooped.  She fell to her knees and started tugging at the string holding it all together, and Waxer quickly knelt down next to her.

           “Here, we need to be careful with the string otherwise the kite might get lost in the wind.  We need to be gentle.”  He showed her how to put the kite together and the bits of fabric they’d tied to the tail of the kite, each with one of their names painted on it.  The kite itself was 212th gold, Numa’s favorite color.

           Together, Waxer and Boil showed Numa how to launch the kite into the air and how to control the kite to keep it from falling back down to the earth.  They let her practice with the light breeze and Waxer gladly worked off all of the extra calories by giving her a running launch.  Numa was enthralled by the kite, thoroughly excited and eager to try it out in a real wind.

           Eventually, the Senator for Ryloth stood on the makeshift podium and gave a short speech to begin the final activity of the Festival. The wind picked up then, whipping around the stage and through the crowd.  The background noise of excited shouts filled the entire field while hundreds of kites were tossed into the air.  The wind caught them and coaxed each colorful kite higher.

           It was a sea of color, a sight more beautiful than nearly anything Waxer had ever seen.  Tails and flags flapped gaily in time with the ebbs and flows of song and music. Numa watched it all with an eagerness that filled Waxer’s heart up with joy.  She giggled and bounced, watching as some people made their kites divebomb their friends, while others coaxed theirs higher into the sky.

           Boil knelt down beside Numa and put an arm around her shoulders.  “Do you want to join them?” he asked.

           Numa eagerly nodded and together, their little family carried their kite into an open spot and sent it soaring high into the sky, right beside the rest of the kites.  Numa’s enthusiastic shouts of joy and peals of laughter only added to the experience.

           Waxer watched their colors dance in the wind and leaned against Boil, tucking his head below his riduur’s chin.  “We made it,” he whispered softly.

           “Made what?” Boil hummed.

           “We wanted a family with Numa.  We wanted a life of peace after the war.  We wanted all of this.  And now we have it.  We made it, Boil.”

           Boil turned and captured Waxer’s lips in an enthusiastic kiss.  It was the kind of kiss shared after a battle to celebrate the fact that their loved ones were alive.  It was the kind of kiss that spoke of fulfilled dreams and secret wishes.  The kind that never failed to take Waxer’s breath away, no matter how many of those kisses he received in his lifetime.  Each one felt like the first, sparking with explosions under his skin and burning through his heart in an all-consuming inferno.  Waxer could live forever in those kisses and be perfectly content.

           The need for air eventually pulled them apart, just far enough for their noses to nudge each other and their foreheads to press solidly together.

           “We made it,” Boil breathed, tone reverent and exuberant.

           And really, what more could they ask for?

[vanderlindemangofarm]

The Van der Linde Gang - Jobs in a Modern AU

I’ve been really inspired to write about this lately and I’d love to hear your takes! These are the occupations that I think each gang member would have in a modern AU. Some were more challenging than others, but hopefully you guys can see where I’m coming from with each! 

Arthur: Film location scout. His natural eye for photography and framing makes Arthur the perfect member of a pre-production team. His no-bullshit approach to everything means he keeps to deadlines, although he’s known to go wandering off into the wilderness for unknown amounts of time. He enjoys the lone working side of his job and finding exactly the right spots that would make the film come to life. He doesn’t always like the films once they’re finished (in fact he’s often bought cinema tickets and walked out half way through, grumbling that it wasn’t worth the popcorn) but he can’t deny the excited buzz he gets every time he gets hired. In his early years as an assistant he met Bertie Mason, a nervous but talented photography intern. Despite an ill-advised hookup after a week joined at the hip they have remained close friends and still go out on shoots together. 

John: landscape gardener. John? Flowers? Yes, alright, I found it hard to believe too. But look, it’s not about the flowers, even if he does get misty-eyed at the sight of a sunflower in the early morning light. It’s about the challenge, the outdoors, and solving problems. After all the renovations he did to his house and garden (some more successful than others) John found how much satisfaction he got from digging and reshaping and planting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s often without a shirt, even in the colder months, much to the delight of some and the horror of others. He always makes friends with the household pets and is wonderful with the kids, always dropping his task to throw a frisbee around for a bit or cheekily accept an ice cold glass of lemonade from their mothers. Whenever he drives past one of his projects he feels himself glowing with pride - “I did that!”. 

Dutch: philosophy lecturer. As always, late with Starbucks. Will he actually grade your essay? Will it mysteriously disappear? Keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it? Sitting precariously on the very edge of his desk, leather jacket hanging off his shoulders and losing his balance every 15 minutes, Dr Van der Linde is nothing short of a wonder. For the love of all that is holy, do not get him started on Kant. Kant has no place here. You want to talk about your precious Kant? Get your butt down to Dr O’Driscoll’s class, he has plenty to say about Kant. Perhaps a little too fond of Socrates. Plato who? Completely illegible handwriting and definitely sleeping with several members of the faculty. But somehow his students always walk away with excellent grades. At the end of each term Dutch takes everyone out to a local bar for drinks, insists on buying tequila which no one really fancies at 11am. Claims to ride a motorcycle called The Count which no one has actually seen. Impossible to hate, and he writes everyone great references for their summer internships. 

Hosea: social worker. In a crisis, there’s no one better to knock on your door. Hosea has seen it all and he’ll see it all again, but that doesn’t stop him from treating every single case he gets with the upmost respect and care. His no-nonsense approach to his work means he gets things done, but he never sacrifices his compassion. He mostly works with teenagers and has a way of being able to connect to each individual without coming across as patronising. He’s been in the field for over two decades and is an invaluable mentor for any newcomers, always willing to share a word or two of advice or be a shoulder to cry on. 

Javier: guitar teacher and music therapist. During his worst years, Javier’s guitar was his lifeline. And he wants to help others find their lifeline, too. He works on a freelance basis, mainly going into mental health hospitals, schools and prisons. He runs workshops focusing on guitar playing, but brings other instruments (mainly percussion) to try too. He’s a gentle teacher, always with a joke in his back pocket for when you need it most. He has nicknames for everyone and remembers everything they’ve ever told him. He’s patient and never lets anyone feel bad for making a mistake. Javier also runs an after-school guitar club at the local middle school alongside playing his own music at gigs whenever he can. No, he doesn’t reply to DMs no matter how thirsty they are. 

Sadie: self-defense instructor. After surviving an attack several years ago, Sadie used her ferocity to get her qualification in self-defense to teach other women how to fight back should they need to. Her husband Jake helps out in her classes, happily allowing himself to be thrown around and slammed onto the mat as many times as required. Her students are terrified of her in the best and nicest way. Sadie also volunteers at a women’s refuge, providing emergency care and taking phone calls. 

Charles: environmental campaign manager. Charles has always been drawn to charities and started doing voluntary work for Greenpeace when he was at university, securing an internship with them in Canada which led to a full time job. Whilst Charles mainly hosts meetings and organises events, he also works closely with elementary schools and runs workshops with outdoor activities, crafts and music. Last week they made bird feeders! It was awesome. He’s also a keen activist and regularly meets up with Javier to go to protests and community events, most recently for BLM. 

Micah: motorcycle mechanic. Micah is massively invested in motorcycle culture and treats his beloved bike better than his own mother, if he still spoke to her. Although he pretends not to care, fixing bikes is his greatest passion and almost looks...happy when he’s doing it? Maybe? He likes knowing more than the people who stop by his shop and makes sure they know it. Occasionally he leaves his number on a scrap of paper inside women’s handbags when they’re not looking but for some reason none of them call. Like it or not, he’s incredibly skilled and will have your motorcycle singing a tune if that’s what you want. Euphemism? Of course not. 

Abigail: nurse. She was so shy when she realised she wanted to pursue nursing - would people laugh at her? Was she too impatient, too nagging, too shrill? Her dyslexia always put her off going into further education and she was always discouraged by her parents. But with lots of encouragement from Hosea (who helped her to fill out her applications and other forms) and her friends, Abigail went to university in her 30′s to get her degree. She graduated top of her class and now works full time in her local hospital, based mostly in the emergency room. From drunken brawlers to tearful children and grumpy old men with lumbago, Abigail has learnt to keep her cool and to have faith in her own ability. 

Molly: holistic therapist and masseuse. It took years to get that bastard of a philosopher out of her head (and out of her bed - damn those happy hour drinks “for old times’ sake”), but she’s finally free. Molly radiates a kindness that few took to the time to see, and she wanted to take strength from her past struggles to help others who may need someone to listen, just as she did. Molly took a bunch of online courses in various holistic therapies, including aromatherapy and massage, as this was something she had always been interested in. She runs a tiny clinic on a quiet street, the rooms filled with sunshine and the scent of geraniums. She also has a quite popular ASMR YouTube channel, Emerald Eyes ASMR, which she shyly admits just reached 500k subscribers. Her most popular video, ‘Irish Girl Helps You Fall Asleep (soft spoken, tapping, mouth sounds)’ just reached over a million hits. 

Kieran: veterinarian specialising in equine care. Much like Abigail, Kieran didn’t like the idea of going back into education. He’d had a rough time of it as a teenager, dropping out of high school early and working a string of menial jobs for the next decade. They paid his rent, but he still felt poor. His favourite job, however, was working at a stable. The horses made him feel calm and he found that he could read them better than most people. He went to the library and read as much as he could about them. From there, he got himself an apprenticeship which paved the way for him to earn his degree in veterinary science. He smiled so hard in his graduation photo his eyes disappeared into his cheeks. He travels all over the local countryside, visiting farms and ranches to care for the horses. His confidence picked up after the first few blunders, and little by little he’s saving up to buy his own ranch one day. 

Lenny: political science student. You know that kid who always looks amazing, even in 9am lectures? Yeah, that’s not Lenny, but he’s sat just behind. See him? Yep, the one rubbing sleep from his eyes as he pushes through the effects of another all-nighter. It’s not due to procrastination, but from perfectionism. He spends hour agonising over references, appendixes and even titles. One time he was so tired he signed his work “Ynnel”. He’s completely in love with his course and relishes every class he takes. Oh, he’s taking Dutch’s ‘History of Western Philosophy’ module by the way. Sitting in the front row, middle seat, directly in front of Dutch, his eyes glinting wickedly. Poor Dutch. Lenny has a counterpoint for absolutely everything and can barely stifle his laughter as Dutch gets more and more flustered. He’s been dating Jenny Kirk, an English Lit student, for the past few months and it’s going well. So well in fact, that he might stop hiding his Doctor Who merchandise every time she comes to his dorm room. 

Tilly: business student. Tilly started university at the same time as Lenny and they still always go to the library together, rolling their eyes at each other over their morning peppermint lattes. Tilly is at the forefront of any and all on-campus activism. Think of Sam from Dear White People - that’s our Tilly. She wears her Ravenclaw scarf all autumn and winter long and posts scathing Instagram stories about the cafeteria food. But she’s powerfully kind and very ambitious, taking on a part time job tutoring kids with dyslexia in their reading and writing. 

Susan: midwife. Think having a baby is scary? Try crossing Nurse Grimshaw. She’s here now, and that baby is coming out of you one way or another. She’ll hold your hand through thick and thin but if you dare say “I can’t do it” one more time she’ll unleash hell. Susan will make sure everyone has a job to do. Partner just standing there like a lemon? Not on her watch. She’s harsh but kind to her trainees and will always offer a cup of coffee and a shoulder to cry on, but there’s a time and place for slacking and it’s not on her labour ward. 

Trelawny: talent agent. Our Josiah is cunning, infuriatingly charismatic and with an eye for the best of the best - what else could he do so effortlessly? He’ll wrangle you a 10 second role as a latrine cleaner in a non-profit film and he’ll still make you feel like the next DiCaprio. You’re a diamond, don’t you know? Of course you could nab Elphaba, we’ll worry about the singing later. How do you feel about cat food commercials? No no, it’s not pornography, it really is cat food this time - he double checked. On top of this, he knows everyone in the business. No, really. He can’t move 3 feet down Broadway without someone booming his name. The tone of said boom depends, of course, but who hasn’t been caught with his bottom out in that director’s wife’s en-suite? 

Sean: outdoor activity centre instructor. You mean you can actually get paid to swim in lakes, ride ziplines through the forest and eat roasted marshmallows?! Sean couldn’t believe his ears. But it was true, and he’s living his best life. He may be on his penultimate warning for unruly behaviour, but he knows he could never really get fired. How could they? Everyone loves him. And to his credit, he’s a fantastic instructor, especially with kids. Everything from canoeing to caving, wild swimming to climbing, Sean has mastered it all and he always makes it fun. No one is allowed to feel left out or silly for not being able to do something. Sean has a way of making everyone feel included, even if you can only make it up the first few rungs of the ladder. Hey, that’s still off the ground! He once knew this feller Bill who cried because a moth flew into his face. You’re doing fine. 

Mary-Beth: librarian and YA author. Sweet Mary-Beth, how could she be anywhere else but surrounded by books? She adores her job at her small, local library and is always looking for ways to make it even better. She often gets tangled up in the stories she reads whilst organising shelves, but it’s quiet enough most days that she’s rarely caught. She loves helping people find their books or recommending her favourites. She also runs the toddler storytime groups and a writing club for older kids. Of course, she’s also writing her own books. The first of her ‘Valentine Mysteries’ books made a modest profit and she’s excited to write more about the adventures of Leslie Dupont. 

Karen: actress. Realising that she had a knack for accents and even after an especially successful high school lead role as Roxy Hart, Karen didn’t really acknowledge her would-be passion for acting for a long time. But she used her talents to get herself and her friends into X-rated films, dive bars and successfully pull off dozens of prank calls. It wasn’t until one of her friends was going to an open-call audition for a short film and wanted someone to go with her that Karen had her epithany. She was cast on the spot, much to the dismay of her friend. Since then, she’s been in a handful of arthouse films, a commercial here and there, and recently enjoyed a short run as Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at a small theatre downtown. Does she want fame and fortune? Honestly, she hasn’t really thought about it. Right now, she’s just enjoying the ride. And the phone numbers left for her at front of house from many admirers. 

Strauss: financial loan adviser. Oh boy, perhaps you saw this one coming. Then again, maybe not. Old Leopold isn’t quite the two-pronged-tongued eldritch horror people often mistake him for. In fact, he actually advises people against loan sharks. He had his fair share of debts y’see and he genuinely doesn’t want anyone else to go through the same thing. He’s not exactly sweet and cuddly, but he might let you have a free pen if you call by his office. I mean, technically they’re not free but...never mind, just take it. 

Bill: plumber. It was purely accidental that Bill bashed his way into his career. No, really. His sink was blocked and after an hour of poking and prodding the pipes he started hitting the poor thing with a spanner out of pure frustration, cursing all the way. To his shock, it worked, and he suddenly had running water again. What shocked him more is that he realised he wanted to know how. So, he bought a book. And he read the book. And one thing led to another, and now he’s the proud owner of Williamson Plumbing Inc. The money is very good, but for Bill that’s not it. You have to understand that for him, it’s the act itself of fixing something that brings Bill immense satisfaction. And Bill isn’t used to knowing more about something - anything - than those around him. For the first time perhaps in his life, he can sit down, solve a problem, and know that he’s done a good job. 

Swanson: AA group leader. After getting completely sober almost a decade ago and staying that way, Orville wanted to give something back to the people who had helped him out so greatly. Becoming a volunteer to help those who were trapped where he was seemed like the only path, and it felt so right. Orville is there in meetings, making coffee, handing out donuts and training new volunteers. If anyone wants to talk about their faith he’s all ears, but he never pushes it as a cure-all in any situation. Orville’s sobriety has also meant that he’s learnt to make the most phenomenal mocktails. 

Pearson: grocery shop manager and cooking teacher. Simon has his small grocery shop on the edge of town which has a wide range of regular customers. But he wanted to do more, so he set up a small class to teach fellow veterans how to cook. His wife helps out, and they grow the ingredients together in their garden and down at the allotment. It’s just an therapeutic for him as it is for his students, as he’s only just realising how much he wants to talk about his time in the navy. 

Uncle: unknown. For the longest time, everyone thought Uncle worked at one of the worst dive bars in town, as whenever they stumbled in for a nightcap he was there, behind the bar, happy as a pig in shit. Turns out that he just started going there one night and no one could get him to leave. And so every evening he’ll appear like a phantom, sit himself in the half-broken chair behind the bar (clearly labelled “not for customer use”), order the cheapest beer on the menu and sit there until midnight. No one can understand how he gets the means to live as he ragingly denies receiving any government handouts despite his lumbago. Claims to be a veteran but hasn’t fought in any wars anyone has heard of. 

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Geralt and the Minotaur p3

Y’all this could get hella complicated if I go hard with all the character sub ideas and all that but I’m here for the relationship so its gonna be bare bones on combining the canon bc I’m just not that skilled as a writer 😂 

Pairing : Geraskier

Warnings: talk of human sacrifice, talk of cannibalism, ye ole impending death, mention parents death, imprisonment, public humiliation (kinda), we got major soft boys falling for each other vibes too

part 2 here!

__________

Geralt woke with his head still resting on Jaskier’s thigh, though he was now lying on his side, resting his head against Geralt’s hip just above the dagger tucked in his belt. He had draped his arm over Jaskier’s waist as they slept, holding him closer, and Jaskier’s arm was resting on Geralt’s chest. It was still dark and, from the sounds of it, everyone else was still asleep save a few soldiers at the helm. The waves had settled to a gentle lapping at the hull and Geralt found himself completely relaxed and at peace for the first time in weeks. His hand rose and fell in a gentle rhythm with Jaskier’s breathing and every now and then the blue eyed boy would sigh, bringing a soft sleepy smile to Geralt’s face. He didn’t dare move, lest he break the spell, but someone else woke from a nightmare with a scream that shattered his illusion. 

Jaskier hummed and nuzzled into Geralt’s hip before he was fully awake, making the prince blush furiously and gasp. Sure he’d fallen asleep with friends and romantic interests back home, but that sensation was… different. 

“Is it morning?” Jaskier mumbled, not moving to sit, but at least the nuzzling had stopped. 

“Probably,” Geralt answered, resisting the urge to run his hand over Jaskier’s shoulder, “still early.”

“You haven’t been lying awake all this time have you?”

Geralt forced a breath out his nose in amusement, “Only a few minutes or so.”

Jaskier sat up, laying his arm over Geralt’s, keeping it wrapped around his waist as he moved to be able to inspect the young hero’s face, “You still look… weary.”

Geralt frowned, shifting so he was leaning on his elbow over the boy’s legs, still very much resting on him, “I wonder why?”

Jaskier smirked, “Is it true you’re a child of Poseidon? Why not sink the ship and we can all ride horses made of sea foam back to the mainland?”

Geralt cast his eyes down to the deck, “They’d just come back for more. It doesn’t matter who’s son I am or what favor I do or don't have.” 

"Pull the weed at the root." Jaskier nodded. 

Geralt hummed in agreement, sitting all the way up to lean against the mast next to the brunette, "What about your family? Anything exciting waiting for you at home?"

Jaskier hooked his arm around Geralt's and rested his head on his shoulder, "Doesn't matter." 

"Does to me." Geralt mumbled, a little taken aback by the physical affection. When Jaskier rolled his eyes he laid his hand over his knee, "Humor me." 

They sat and waited for the sun to rise over the water as they discussed Jaskier’s life. His parents death, the farm he worked for his uncle, the mundane little things like how often he gets sent to the market and who cuts his hair. They learned each other's birthdays as a joke, but the hopeful side of Geralt still repeated it to him a few minutes later just to be safe. Jaskier asked him about life at the palace, if it was as grand as everyone believed. Geralt felt squeamish admitting he didn’t know, seeing as he'd only really lived in the lap of luxury. Sure his trek to Athens was dirty and many nights he slept in barns, but most of his 20 years were spent in bright white togas and tunics with colorfully stitched hems. Jaskier didn’t seem bothered, he just asked more specific questions about the beds and the fountains. He pontificated for a while on the poor musical choices made in a performance at the amphitheater last summer and did his best to explain to Geralt how to delicately pluck a harp using a lock of his white hair as a prop. Joking was easy, being earnest wasn’t quite effortless, but it was easier than with other people, and Geralt lamented that they’d only met yesterday. 

“Do you think you’d’ve given me the time of day?” Jaskier asked.

Geralt grinned, giving the brunet's leg another squeeze, “You wouldn’t have given me a choice.”

Jaskier rested his chin on Geralt's shoulder, his hair fluttering into his eyes and glowing gold as the sun began to peek over the waves, "Probably not, no." His voice was soft in Geralt's ear, the warmth of his breath made the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. 

Geralt turned to look at him, their noses brushing. He was about to ask Jaskier something reckless and naive, no doubt born of desperation, but the moment was broken by shouting. 

"LAND" Echoed from various soldiers and strangled sobs broke out in response. Reality was once again stubbornly planted in the forefront of Geralt's mind and he forced himself to pull away. His heart beat furiously in his chest as he stood to get a better look. 

Someone gripped his elbow and spun him around, staring up at him with wide eyes full of terror, "You can do it, can't you? You can get us home?" The harsh whisper seemed to carry over the whole group, commanding their silence and attention as they formed a circle around him. 

Vessimir's parting words echoed in his head, he was a leader now, he had to act like it. His year of lessons and training and taking notes were over and he knew right then that even if they made it back, he'd never have a day of peace again. 

With a glance back toward Jaskier he nodded, "I will bring us home or die trying." 

The person's grip on his elbow tightened and he stared back at them with what he hoped was reassuring confidence for a moment before they released him, "Do you have a plan?" 

All his preparation could never have braced him for the absolute devastation on the group's faces when he hesitated. In the fraction of a second he took to open his mouth they knew. Only Jaskier seemed to accept the facts and take them in stride. 

"All I know for sure is that we need to make it out and back to the docks by dawn." Geralt's admission was met with curt nods from some and fresh tears from others, "I'm sorry." 

Jaskier pipped up, stepping into the center of the small crowd with Geralt, "You volunteered to try to save us. We need no apology." He sent a glare to someone about to speak in protest, cutting them off, "It's more than we've had in the last 18 years and I, for one, am grateful." 

Geralt gave him an appreciative nod but their theatrics were drawing attention from the soldiers. He shooed everyone away, not sure he could handle another altercation this close to the soldiers homeland where they'd have something to prove to onlookers.  

As they drew nearer to the shore they heard shouts of laughter and music, saw banners waving in the wind and people dancing around the port. They were throwing a festival. A festival of revenge and dominance over their enemies, where people who would have been sacrifices delighted in the activities. It made Geralt's stomach churn. 

Jaskier stood next to him as close to the bow as they were allowed, "Twisted, isn't it? And they wonder how we so readily believe they eat their brethren." 

Geralt took his hand, searching for anything to ground him as the fear crept up his neck and threatened to strangle him, "Monsters never think they're monsters." 

"You like being cryptic don't you?" Jaskier sighed, keeping his eyes forward as the festivities grew clearer and clearer. 

Geralt only shrugged in response. 

Soon enough they were all corralled by the soldiers with shouts and shoves. They tied Geralt's hands first, yanking on the rope so it burned into his wrists. The man was watching his face, waiting to see him wince or twitch. He gave them nothing. The end of the rope was then tied to Jaskier and so on until they were all lined up, hands bound in front of them and linked like sausages. 

When they docked there was a heavy drum roll, fitting for the captives in line behind Geralt trembling. The plank was lowered by soldiers in what had to be ceremonial dress and when they stepped back the drummers hit one last beat, leaving the whole crowd silent. 

At the front, surrounded by soldiers and standing on a throne made to be carried, was King Minos. His eyes were cold and calculating, and it was clear he was declining in health, but he still invoked fear with his gaze. There was no doubt to any rumors anymore. Geralt was sure this man was capable of absolutely anything. 

The Queen sat in a similar throne, next to them was their daughter, walking but flanked by guards. She didn’t take her eyes off Geralt as they prodded him down the plank. Her eyes were soft, betraying the rest of her face set in a hard mask of disapproval, and she made no effort to hide her ogling. Geralt stared right back, never one to back down from a challenge, until they were ushered past the royals into the crowd. The citizens were far more animated. Some threw food scraps at them, some jeered and gestured rudely, others spat, though they all blamed the 14 young men and women before them for the death of a prince before they were even born. 

They marched through winding streets and up set after set of switchback stairs to reach the palace dungeons. The guards were having their fun with Geralt in the lead, shoving him around when they needed to change direction and tripping him when they passed a large crowd. 

When they finally reached their cells they were shoved in, two to a cell, and the rope was cut. They had to hold their arms through the bars for the soldiers to cut the knotts. They took the rope with them when they left, leaving only bread and water on the bed and one torch lit hanging outside each cell. It was dreary and cold, and Geralt could hear the others crying.

Jaskier broke the loaf of bread in half and tossed it to Geralt, taking a long pull directly from the pitcher of water, “Eat. No arguments.”

__________

part 4 here

tag list: @hailhailsatan @so--many-fandoms

hmu if you want tagged 💕 I will cry tears of joy in my coffee

[stardew-vxlley]

you’re cute when you’re jealous

summary: the stardew valley fair is in town! what happens when shane notices a tourist flirting with you? 

pairing: shane x farmer

word count: 2k 

warnings: like, a single swear word

requested by: @pale-skies-is-a-raccoon

Dear Farmer [Y/N], 

One week from today, we are holding the Stardew Valley Fair in the town square! It’s the biggest event of the year, drawing people from all across the country to our humble town. If you’d like, you can set up a grange display for the event. Just bring a few items that best showcase your talents. You’ll be judged on the quality and diversity of your display. It starts at nine, don’t miss it! 

-Mayor Lewis 

The day was finally here. You had been looking forward to the Stardew Valley Fair all week ever since Lewis had put the notice in your mailbox, taking extra time and preparation to make sure all of your items were the highest quality and freshness. You were awake before your alarm, buzzing around the farmhouse like a bumblebee on the first day of spring. You knew the fair didn’t start until nine, but you were so jittery with excitement that you just couldn’t sleep. 

Humming and singing mindlessly to your farm animals as you fed them and collected their products, you inspected each egg and each pail of milk to see if you needed to hang on to any of them as a backup. As you watered your crops, you had a delightful conversation about the fair with the scarecrow (even though it was a little one-sided). 

And then nine o’clock arrived. You excitedly hefted your crate of perfect quality items onto your hip, and made your way into town. The reason you were so excited was because this was your first fair, the first time seeing people from the outside since you left home. It was going to be a breath of fresh air. 

“Hey there, farmer!” Mayor Lewis called from the center of the town square. “I’ve got your grange display ready to go over here.” 

“Lewis, this is incredible!” you said in awe, looking at all the different colored stalls and decorations. “Are those carnival games?” 

“Indeed they are,” he chuckled, helping you with your crate. “Once the display contest is judged, you can go ahead and enjoy the rest of the fair.” 

“I can’t wait,” you said, beginning to take your items out and meticulously place them into the wooden display box. “Oh, have you seen Shane anywhere? I wanted to snag him before the judging.” 

Lewis scratched his chin, looking around. “I think I may have seen him over by the petting zoo.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like somewhere he’d be,” you said with a delighted laugh. “Thank you, Mayor!” 

Lewis ambled off to see to the other contestants, leaving you alone to finish your display. You placed the last few finishing touches and adjustments, and stood back to admire your handiwork. It was a beautiful display. You swelled with pride as you dusted your palms off on your overalls, tilting your straw hat back.

“That’s one fine looking display of stuff,” an unfamiliar voice sounded behind you. 

Startled, you turned your chin over your shoulder with eyebrows raised. There was a young man standing a few feet away from you, hands on his hips as he surveyed your work. 

“This stuff is months of hard work,” you said firmly, facing him. 

He chuckled and held up his hands in defense. “Alright, my apologies. It looks really good, though.” 

“Thank you,” you said, and you stuck your hand out. “I’m [Y/N]. I own a farm up the road.” 

“You own a whole farm?” he asked incredulously as he shook your hand. “All by yourself?” 

“Yep,” you replied proudly, gesturing to your display. “All of this is made by yours truly.” 

“Wow,” he breathed, truly impressed. “I’m Eric, I live in Zuzu City with my grandmother. I used to come to the fair every year when I was little, but it’s been harder and harder for her to travel. This is my first time coming by myself.” 

“Well, we’re certainly glad you could make it this year,” you said with a grin, “this is my first year, too. I moved onto the farm earlier in the spring.” 

“You look like you’ve done pretty good for yourself,” Eric noted, moving closer to study the contents of your grange display. “So uh, are you allowed to go get food or something? I saw someone selling corndogs around here somewhere--do you want to grab one?” 

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you to ask, but I really should stay put until after the contest ends,” you apologized. “I don’t want to miss out on winning.” 

Eric laughed into a nod and glanced around. “Well, hopefully I see you before the fair is over. It would be really nice to talk to you again.” 

An unsuspecting blush crept into your cheeks as you bobbed your head in a hasty agreement. “Absolutely--now go enjoy the fair!” 

You watched him walk away towards the corndog cart and released the breath of air you had been holding. With so little people in Pelican Town, you weren’t used to someone flirting with you so outright. Sure, Elliot read you a sonnet a couple of times and Sam shared his cold, leftover pizza with you on a few occasions, but you just wrote that off as them being friendly. Shane wasn’t even that eloquent with flirting and he was your boyfriend--

You slapped your hand to your forehead. Shit, you forgot all about finding him before the contest started! But as you started towards the petting zoo, Mayor Lewis appeared out of thin air in front of you, his giant mustache blocking your view. 

“Are you ready for the contest?” he asked, clapping his hands together. 

“Yeah, can I just--” you started, but he pushed right past you. 

“Fantastic! Alright, just step up beside your display, and I’ll get everyone’s attention.” 

With a defeated sigh, you stood next to your display and bit your lip. Lewis stood on a wooden crate and clapped his hands again, gathering a crowd of fair-goers and townspeople. You searched the faces for Shane, and saw him standing beside Marnie with Jas on his shoulders. His eyes lit up as you locked gazes, and a smile broke out across your face as you twiddled a wave at them. 

“I will now begin the judging!” Lewis announced, and began walking down the row of displays, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He came to a stop in front of yours and an audible “Wow” escaped him. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he winked at you, moving on to the last display. When he was finished, he returned to the stack of crates and read off a small piece of paper. 

“And this year’s first place winner of the grange display is--drumroll please,” Lewis declared, and the sound of everyone rhythmically patting their thighs in an acoustic drumroll echoed through the town square. “--[Y/N]! With a whopping 90 points!” 

The cheers were deafening as you clapped excitedly while jumping up and down. Lewis came back over and handed you a stack of Star Tokens. “Here is your prize--1,000 tokens. Spend them wisely!” 

The crowd dispersed as the contest ended, leaving you to pack up your items in the crate. 

“That was amazing!” you heard Shane’s voice say, and you turned around with a grin. He still had Jas on his shoulders, who was pumping her tiny fists in the air in excitement. “Your display was the best babe, by far.” 

You blushed. “Thank you, that really means a lot to me.” 

Shane set Jas down and you handed her some of your tokens. “Here,” you whispered to her. “I couldn’t possibly spend all of these by myself--do you think you could help me out?” 

Her eyes lit up as she graciously took the tokens and made a beeline for the prize counter. You straightened up and turned to Shane, who pulled you in for a tight embrace. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured in your ear, sending tingles down your spine. 

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” you said as you gestured to the large, perfect egg nestled in the crate. “I almost don’t want to cook that egg, it's so perfect.” 

Shane laughed, letting you go. “I think you would’ve been just fine without me. And that egg is going to make some delicious scrambled eggs tomorrow morning.” 

“Will you cook them for me?” you asked suggestively, waggling your eyebrows at him. Now it was his turn to blush. He opened his mouth to reply, but someone interrupted him. 

“Hey!” Eric called out, jogging toward you. “That was awesome! In all my years of coming here, I’ve never seen such an amazing win. Congratulations!” 

“Thanks,” you chuckled, but you felt Shane tense up beside you. “Shane, this is Eric. He’s from Zuzu City.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Shane stiffly said, shaking Eric’s hand. 

“I know this is a lot to ask, but I really want something to take back to the city with me,” Eric said to you, “and I wasn’t good enough at the carnival games to win a prize. Would you mind me taking something from your display? I would pay you for it!” 

“It’s no problem at all,” you grinned, stepping back to allow him to look inside the crate. “I would be honored. And you don’t have to pay me.” 

“Awesome!” Eric said excitedly, and knelt in front of the crate. “What about this one, is this okay?” He held up your prized egg, the one Shane had worked so hard to help you with. 

“No!” you said a little too quickly, snatching it from his hands. “Sorry...this one is special.” 

“Oh, okay,” he sighed, disappointed. “What about this?” He held up a jar of artisanal goat cheese. 

“That one is all yours,” you said, holding the egg close to you. 

“Cool.” Eric got to his feet and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, as if trying to find the right words to say. “Hey, so--I was wondering something...if you’re ever in Zuzu City, you should come visit me.” 

Before you could politely turn him down and explain you were already seeing someone, Shane protectively stood front of you and crossed his arms. “Sorry, pal, not gonna happen.” 

“Shane,” you quietly protested, noticing Eric’s crestfallen face. “I’m sorry, Eric--you’re a nice guy, but I’m already dating someone.” 

Eric’s eyes bounced back and forth between you and Shane, until realization dawned on him. “Oh,” he said softly. “Right.” 

“It was really good to meet you, though!” you reassured him. “I hope you and your grandmother enjoy the goat cheese.” 

He rolled the jar in his hands and smiled. “Yeah, I think we will. Thank you, [Y/N].” He waved, and started walking away towards the entrance. As Shane put an arm around your shoulders, Eric looked back at the two of you together. “Hey, buddy--you’re a lucky guy.” 

“I know,” Shane called back, and smiled down at you. Once Eric was out of sight, you reached over and playfully punched him in the arm. 

“You were so mean!” you teased. “He didn’t know--he was just trying to be friendly.” 

“Oh, he knew,” Shane said with narrowed eyes. 

“And how do you know that?” you prodded, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“I’m a guy,” he simply replied. 

You suppressed a giggle at his surprisingly simple answer, standing up on your tip-toes to place a tender kiss to his cheek. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” 

Shane rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t jealous, I was protective.” 

“Either way, it was cute. Maybe I’ll ask Elliot to read me some poetry in front of you so I can see it again.” 

“Now you’re just being mean,” he whined. “I’m glad you didn’t let him take the egg.” 

“Me too,” you smiled, slipping your hand into his and leading him towards the carnival games. “Still promise to scramble it up for me in the morning?” 

“Is that an invitation to stay the night?” 

You stopped to answer his question with a long, passionate kiss. When you broke apart breathlessly, he was speechless for a moment. “Is that a good enough answer for you?”  you asked, and he nodded happily. The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon winning prizes and eating fair food, sharing kisses and falling deeper and deeper in love. 

[twitchesandstitches]

(Commission for @alt-hammer of a fantasy AU where Jade, a talented alchemist, has greated a boob expansion potion and refines it, gradually getting more enormously buxom as she and Dave get closer together.

This is set in, broadly, the same continuity as the godess terezi commission; some liberties were taken so, where there are differences, assume them to take place in their own micro continuities.)

----------

The town was an old one, near a vast forest that lay in the shadow of a temple consecrated to one of the old gods: the teal dragon goddess of mentality, rumored by some to be incarnate in the modern age. The era of magic and gods, though, was long behind them, and simply reverse engineering even a tiny shred of its power was a game-changer, especially for such a minor town.

Jade Harley, alchemist and adventurer, thought she had just about worked it out.

Okay, she thought, peering at a list of ingredients. Body expansion and modification. It used to be so much more common, in the old days. Did I figure it out?

I think I did.

She poured over the ingredient list, checking things off, and she was so busy in her work that she heard the bell over the door go ‘ding’.

“Yo-hoy, Jade?” Came the voice of Dave Strider, her best friend, with big quotation marks around the ‘friend’ bit. She smiled and stood up. Jade was a tall woman… a very tall woman, even bigger than some trolls, which was unusual for a human. She had a curvy frame, packed with power, and lately she had been thinking: not curvy enough.

And then, she’d heard stories about the old days. Ancients who had transformed their bodies in impossible ways, with nothing but their knowledge of magic. And she’d thought; if they did it, why not me?

Dave was waiting there. He was not a particularly tall man, or broad; he had the sort of wiry, vaguely feminine look that was quite popular these days, and paired well against Jade’s more voluptuous frame. She just looked big, especially next to him. Nevertheless, when he stood up, it was with a real sense of genuine strength and power that belied his seemingly frail look.

“You sure you wanna do this whole… thing?”

Jade indicated her chest. It was pretty ample, and again, especially for a human. But Jade had thought about records from the old days, that described people changing themselves to be… bigger. More buxom. And she had thought; if they’d done it, why not her? What was the missing keys to that kind of power?

Besides thousands of years of magical knowledge and infrastructure, she admitted. But they’d been learning, and she thought she might have rediscovered the key.

Jade wanted bigger boobs. She wanted really big boobs. It was a pretty silly thing to want, she would be the first to admit, but when she thought of herself, of the shape that Jade Harley ought to have, it was with boobs so big that they’d have to reshape the doorways when she left the house; pathway-clearing plows of a bustline, big and bouncy boobs so massive you could sit on them.

Or even bigger than that!

The default assumption that most men would have, in helping such a task, would be ‘yes please!’. Dave was surprisingly ambivalent; she had no doubt he’d be pleased by the results, but the actual experimenting was going to be an issue.

He worried a lot. About her in particular.

“I'm sure!” Jade put her hands on her hips. “I just… oh, I’ve been spending years on this, and I’m so close! I can practically taste it!”

“Right, right, cool. Passion project, I get that.” Dave patted her on the shoulder, the gesture completely reflective. He probably didn’t realize how intimate it felt.

Probably? Jade pondered that, for a while.

“Well, I got a map.” Dave laid it on a table; now they were free to plan, since no one came in after these hours. On the map was a chart of the most magically potent parts of the forest outside the town, where the most magically powerful ingredients… and monsters… were likely to be found. “I think these are the places we should start looking.”

“Right!”

For hours, they planned it out. The kinds of things they would need to hunt up, of course. The gear they would need to harvest things effectively, and explore the forest.

And the monsters they were likely to face, the mindless beasts generated by raw magical energies and attacking anything they perceived as intruders. Dave faltered a bit at the thought; not in fear, but he was looking at Jade as if thinking too hard about her getting struck by some beast’s claws.

He swallowed. “You sure you wanna do this? For… to get bigger boobs?”

Jade grinned. When you put it like that, the whole thing sounded silly, and she really didn’t mind that at all.

“Absolutely!” She insisted.

------

After that, Dave came in regularly, when he could.

At least once a week, in his official capacity as a courier. As much as possible when he was off work, or just playing schemes to pretend to be doing things on the clock, goofing off at her work place and racking up paid hours when deliveries slowed instead of doing paperwork. She was pretty sure that he definitely was not allowed to do that; his boss, Mister Slick, was a stickler for the letter of the rules for everyone if not himself, and he in turn answered to the chief courier, the Mendicant.

Jade had to consider that. She didn’t know the chief courier personally, but everyone knew of her; she was married to the mayor, who was something of a gremlin with a chip on his shoulder but a pretty relaxed attitude. The chief courier was a lot more strict, and probably wouldn’t approve of Dave doing that, so of course Jade kept the whole thing secret.

Dave had been scouting out the places they were going to hunt down; slaying a few monsters, scrounging up what he could for Jade to examine. It all worked out for her; monster flesh and bone, fungi and moss and roots all growing in places absolutely drenched in magic… it served her purposes perfectly.

She made her potions; not testing them on herself yet, though Jade tended towards the belief that a TRUE alchemist used themselves as a test subject before anyone else, but that was for a product proven to have the effect she wanted. Until then, she’d taken to quietly giving the uncertain batches to the cattle that grazed just outside her home, pouring it into their food when no one was looking. The cows, she was pleased to see, wound up moving unsteadily with obscenely massive udders so stuffed that they were propped up by them, and the consistency in it satisfied her.

Putting in magically charged milk, she determined, seemed to help. She imagined herself with such massive, swinging breasts and trilled with delight.

And they would need to go to magical places to find ingredients to make into potions; plants, fungi and the parts of monsters, all rich with magical energies. Alchemy was, as she explained it to Dave, the art of melting down magically potent substances and infusing them with arcane ‘aspects’ to effectively make liquid, drinkable spells. The trick was finding things powerful enough to infuse the solution, and for that…

Well, to the old forest, they’d both go.

-------

The days came and went. Experiments went by. Batches, failed and otherwise, were tested; the cows grew bigger and bigger, so much so that Zahhak dairy farming family found something of a glut of their product, and Jade jotted down their boasting or complaints under a list of things to bear in mind for the future batches.

Dave came and went. When he could reasonably swing it, playing off his ingredient hunts for Jade as part of his job; she paid him, at least, which generally satisfied Mister Slick, according to Dave. Jade did see the chief courier, glistening in the sun like a polished ivory statue, studying her shop as if looking for signs of slacking off, and she quietly told Dave the next time she saw him (complete with him bringing several baskets of mushrooms, roots and the occasional monster part) that they would have to probably save this for his free time.

So, in the end, they went together.

Deeper into the forest, where anyone had ever gone. Under the shadow of the ancient temple of the dragon goddess, where its primordial magic seeped into the trees, turning them and the crawling moss into living, teal crystals…

And where the monsters dwelled.

-------

And one day, they came back from there. Both of them bloodied, battered; panting with exhaustion and still trembling; with terror, at least for Jade, tinged with exhilaration. “That was amazing!” Jade said as they stumbled into her shop, her chest heaving and her travel robes hanging over her front like a mobile tent.

Dave put his sword down and flopped down onto a cot Jade kept around, in case he wanted to take a nap whenever he dropped by. “I warned ya, Jade. I warned you about the imps.”

Jade sat down on a chair, and it creaked under her considerable weight. She was simply too thick for most furniture; the legs were bending ominously, as she rocked back giggling to herself in a mix of post-adventure shock and genuine excitement. “The way they came out of nowhere! And the way you just cut them! Swoosh! Slash! That was so cool!”

“Am a little bit concerned with how easy you’re dealing with this.” Dave sat up. “You blasting them was pretty cool…”

Jade turned around. There was a lot of bouncing, possibly on purpose, and green spirals of magical energy swished around her. She’d cast so much magical energy that it was leaking out of, rising out with relatively small gestures, and it make her tingle all over; crackling like her blood was lightning and a sun beating in her chest-

She grabbed Dave and spun him right around, off his seat, and he squealed as she pulled him close to her in a tight not-quite-hug. She was too caught up in the exhilaration to realize it. “Let’s do that again!”

“Ye?” Dave said, lying on the floor now, red-faced and apparently losing the will to move on his own.

Jade was too full of vigor and excitement to stop now. She took one of the bundles of ingredients, plants and fungi and the harvested monster parts they’d been able to secure, and took them up to her work station.

Dave had time to recover, sitting up and recentering himself and not thinking constantly about the feeling of Jade’s body against his own (at least that’s what he would insist, later) as Jade took the things the ingredients they had found and prepared them for distilling. She chopped with knives, she crushed with a motorized pestle, and repeated this until she had a number of small chunks and fine dust. She placed that into a large flask she placed under a burner, but the flames she produced from it were a bright green.

It didn’t burn the chopped and crushed plants, meat and mushrooms. Instead it softened them, until they started dripping through a grate at the bottom of the flash. That became a fluid, propelled onwards through a series of tubes. There, other solutions and mystical fluids were dribbled into it; things to add in mystical formulas and spell-aspects, amplifying other aspects of the potion… negating the flavors and aspects of the substances they originally had been, purifying it into something completely divorced from its origins.

It eventually flowed, much thicker now, into a beaker. Jade poured a hint of something that looked a lot like milk, her magic flowing into it, supercharging it. A bit of milk to give it the right aspect for what she wanted. And a little bit of amplification, mixing with the raw power of the other ingredients...

And under the heat of the magical flame, which burned away solid matter and left behind only magical essence made fluid, Jade waited for it to finish.

She grew quiet, and intense. Dave, recovered by now, had long since learned to pick up on her moods and he knew she was getting very excited.

“I thought you didn’t use spells,” Dave said, to break the silence. “What was with all that… fwoosh?” He wiggled his hands, in the manner of the green fire he remembered Jade shooting all over the place.

“Fwoosh?” Jade said, absently.

“You were shooting attack spells and stuff.”

“Oh! I mean. I know how to do that kind of magic. Not so much in my job, but I know about the theory of magic in general. I couldn’t do alchemy right if I didn’t.”

“And the fire stuff?”

Jade giggled. “I always did wanna put that into practice!”

“Wait, you mean you’ve never fought until today?”

Jade, a woman who had turned a small part of the forest into a crater and probably infuriated the local spirits, looked bashful. “Did it show?!”

“...No. Not really.”

“Huh. Good to hear!” Jade suddenly shut off the flame, stirring it a few times; despite the constant heat, there was no sign that it was particularly hot. “This batch is done!”

Dave stood up. “You sure? I’d thought there’d be… more sparkles.”

“I might put something like that in a consumer batch; people expect sparkles, you know. But this is the testing phase!” Jade examined the potion, studying it. Her magical senses, and eye for detail, picked out things Dave couldn’t possibly have made out. Apparently satisfied, she put it up to her lips and started to tilt it up.

“Whoa!” Dave staggered forward, his stoic exterior cracking just this bit. “Is that safe?! Shouldn’t you test it on, i dunno, the cows?!” He gestured towards a herd visible right through the window, where the shop brushed up against a pasture (as the Zahhaks, as one of the older families, had the authority to simply build their homes into grassy places for the cattle to feed). A cow looked right through the window, hindquarters lifted right off the ground by an obscenely stuffed udder.

Jade lowered the flask, just for a moment. She briefly gave the cow a solemn look, her eyes wide and impatience seething from her; she looked at the cow with an expression all but screamed, to Dave: I want that.

She made a ‘tsk’ing noise, wiggling a finger scoldingly at Dave. “Oh, I’m sick of letting them have all the good stuff! I want that for me!” She grinned, wildly, and Dave knew that there was nothing he could do, short of slapping it out of her hand, to stop her, and he thought that it would be wrong to do that.

“If you’re sure…” Dave said, clearly dubious.

“I’ve never been MORE sure.”

And Jade tilted the potion up, and drained it in a single, powerful swig.

Dave winced, but didn’t argue.

She smiled, though, as her stomach briefly glowed green, the potion taking effect. “It’s nice that you worry, though.” She patted his hand, still upraised in protest, and impulsively, she kissed it.

His hand felt so warm against her lips; a heat flashed there, against her teeth and tongue, and down her neck. It lingered there in her chest, mixing with the magical energies and transformative vibes now swirling inside her. It felt so fine; a gentle euphoria rose inside her, and she couldn’t help but smile through an intense blush.

Green light swirled around her, and especially over her chest. On her breasts, swirling around them and outlining them, supercharging them with magical energies speaking of more and BIGGER, but brightest of all was her heart.

Dave felt the magic flowing from her, before any changes actually happened, and he took a step back; a little awed at what he felt flowing inside her, and maybe stunned by the kiss.

Later, he contemplated how and why he sensed anything. He wasn’t trained in magic; he knew the martial applications, the tricks to make yourself stronger and faster with the spiritual energy inside a person, or the energy around you, but he didn’t know how to use magic itself. Jade’s work was a mystery to him, and he was quietly impressed with people who did know how to bend magic more directly. The actual mechanics of how it was supposed to work was all a bit beyond him.

Nonetheless he felt it, right then. Right there.

Maybe, he theorized later, he’d learned to sense magical energy somewhere, in all the training to harness it. Flex a muscle hard enough, you learned to get a feel for when it was straining. A similar principle could apply, right?

In any case, he stumbled back, more and more, as Jade started to get bigger.

He was far from the only one to notice it, though; there were many people who’d worked out how to manipulate magic all over the town, or those who benefitted from thep precious and rare remaining bits of lore from older days. And some who were something else altogether.

Even people who didn’t live in town felt Jade growing: the professional spellcasters, the priestly high classes, and the hedge-mages learning it all on their own. Even those completely untutored, but sensitive to magic all the same, felt it. And those who knew their stuff felt it happen in intimate detail, like Miss Roxy Lalonde, probably the best student of magical theory in town, and she perked up at the sudden flare from Jade’s shop.

Karkat Vantas, living outside town in the old and long-abandoned manor, felt something even as he slept. His fiance, Terezi Pyrope, sat up and silently eased him back to sleep as she looked up. Her eyes were blind and felt very old, just like the ancient statues in the very temple Jade had walked in the shadows of. There were murals there… that looked just like Terezi Pyrope; as if those ancient sculptors had modeled them after her.

She tilted her head up, head craning and focusing right at the precise location of Jade.

She grinned. “Interesting~!” She said aloud, already making up her mind to pay Jade a visit as soon as she could.

People, intrigued or afraid or obnoxiously curious, gravitated towards Jade’s shop. The market outside her place broke up, the people in it drifting over to see what was going on. So, quite apart from Dave, Jade had an audience.

And in the shop itself, there was no blast of magic. No eye-searing pyrotechnics, as might be associated with a surge of magic so strong it made the cattle outside bounce and gush away in shock, or made Jade squeal with a mixed noise of joy and shock; she staggered back, as if her limbs suddenly were sapped of their strength, or something new flooding it and pushing out the old energy to make way for something fresh, strong and wild…

She gritted her teeth. They seemed longer, sharper; she took a step forward, and her legs kept shaking. No, wait. IT took a moment for Dave to realize, but they weren’t shaking.

They were getting wider.

Jade’s thighs slowly grew, leg muscles gradually bulking up and expanding outwards, a thick and appealing sheath of fat covering them. Not growing much past the knees, making them look surprisingly small past the thighs.

Her hips swayed and wiggled; first Jade just moved in an unconscious groove, and then it was a pattern of growth, and her hips expanded outwards in a smooth swell. Several inches added themselves on, and then about an extra foot of hip growth, to both sides. Jade stumbled as her thighs grew so big their sides were mashing together, and then made an embarrassed noise as her butt suddenly surged out, so bubbly and round that it was making the hem of her skirts rise up!

Her chest was still glowing, the focal point of all this. She dipped forward as they felt very heavy, her hands instinctively cupping her breasts. They wobbled at her touch, all on their own with indifference to gravity, and swelled. Jade made a squeaking noise of surprise, and then it melted into delight; waves of pleasure flooded into her from her chest. Oh! It had felt good, growing like this with her test batches, but nothing like this!

A cup size fluxed out, and then another, pushing at the fabric of her robes. Two more swelled out, pushing her palms down to support them, and they flowed out over her hands. They kept growing; bigger and bigger! The weight of them, rising with each sudden bouncy surge, was making Jade lean forwards, her breasts rising outwards. More than extra cup sizes, now, her breasts were almost doubled from what they’d been.

The magic surged and amplified her body, adding more mass, more flesh, more everything. Her breasts kept expanding, growing outwards, so heavy that she was bent nearly double, her robes straining out and pulling up from the weight. “Yyyeah!” Jade cheered, the delight coursing through her.

And the magic was slowly expended, totally absorbed and transmuted into more Jade. She breathed out as the growth slowed, a couple more inches adding on with each breath, and then it stopped altogether.

The sensation of power and pleasure alike faded from her. Dave gaped as she stood up to her full, imposing height; her breasts were huge, and Jade’s fingers gently traced their expansive outlines, the fabric stretched and almost translucent against her skin now.

Down, down her hands went, feeling her breasts. Much bigger than anticipated. She heard a distinctive sloshing noise, too, when she jiggled enough. Down, all the way past… goodness! Past her ribs, and then when she found the bottom of her breasts, they lay near her navel.

Almost two and a high feet high was each breast, she guessed. She shifted upright, and felt a very pleasurable bounce. Slung out by at least three feet, two, perhaps four!

She breathed in, hissing it out through a grin that was a little bit manic, and she said “Ohh, yes, this is definitely a success.” Now, she panted heavily. “Ooh…” She breathed in and out again, her newly expanded assets heaving with such weight she felt dragged forward. It felt like so much of her was in front of her now… it felt good. “That’s… that’s a fun sensation….”

Impulsively, Jade took Dave’s hand, her fingers squeezing gently around his palm. She smiled just a bit impishly, sharp teeth glinting behind her lips, and she felt Dave’s pulse quicken. His expression didn’t change, not one bit. Not a single muscle even twitched, and his expression was like stone. And Jade knew about stone, and a little bit about geology, and she knew enough that there was always a lot going on beneath mountains that looked all calm and steady, but on the inside?

They were exploding. And Dave could keep his face steady, but he couldn’t do much of anything about the hot blush coloring his cheeks.

Jade leaned in close and gave him a soft, brief kiss on the cheek.

Her breasts, so recently swelled by her potions, pressed against his chest. His body was thin but so firm, so strong; the ideal surface for her bustline to squsih against, and press out, the pulse of her heartbeat passing into his body. Against the plane of his chest, her own chest squashed deep, and she thought in a wild and romantic suddenness that it was like pressing her heart against his own.

She felt their breath twin, for a moment, and then his own stopped. She exhaled, gusting it against his chin, and she kissed him again in the cheek, in the same spot.

And finally Jade pulled away. Her breasts, bouncing freely in their sub-par restraint, wobbled heavily as she moved back, and it was completely on purpose.

Dave’s shades were slipping. The red glow beneath them was nearly visible. “Holy shit,” he said simply.

She realized he was staring, and she grinned, a little sheepishly and a little smugly. Pride welled up in her, at a job well done.

“Hey, I’m freaked out too, but watch the goddamn language,” a laconic voice said from the window.

Both Dave and Jade whirled around; towards the window.

Where what had to be at least a good third of the town was ogling her, and her new ‘features’.

The speaker was Dirk Strider; looking very much like a somewhat older version of Dave, a bit broader overall, his arms crossed over the window. Behind him was the Chief Courier, her porcelain-white shell glittering in the sunlight; she looked, as much as her face could be seen beneath the concealing uniforms she favored, a mix of amused and intrigued. Most people there seemed to have the same vibe.

Terezi was there too, looming over everyone else there, a big dragon-like troll with wings furled around her like a cape, and now she was grinning knowingly.

Jade instinctively covered herself, eyes wide, and she hurriedly thought: ‘What do I do!? What am I supposed to say?! Oh gosh they’re all looking at me!”

And then she thought: ‘Wait.

‘Isn’t this an opportunity?’

She stamped down the embarrassment and frustration at being watched, and declared, with a cheery tone, gesturing at herself, “So! Who might be interested in purchasing the next batch of my beauty elixirs, that’ll give you a body like this!?’

Her mortified feelings felt a bit dimmer at the glee of all the hands shooting straight up.

------

A couple weeks passed, after that.

There was a lot to do: adjust to her new body (oh, how doors were starting to be a problem! And clothes! She had to get them made special, or they’d pinch), going back with Dave to get the ingredients, preparing the next batches of potion for the rush of demand she was suddenly being met with…

Between the constant brewing, hunting down the ingredients from the most magically potent parts of the forests, needing to negotiate with the tailors, and all that, Jade had hardly any time with Dave.

That was a little sad, actually.

--------

But, as fortune would have it, he dropped in not long after that; he didn’t get to witness Jade testing more of her potions on herself, once she was satisfied with consistently bigger growth, and without Dave, she suspected her growth was being slowed. Warm feelings had something to do with it, she was sure.

“Dave!” Jade said, rushing over to him, nearly knocked over a couple people who were milling around her shop. Her breasts alone knocked a few people out of the way, and others quickly moved aside to get out of the way before they were bowled over.

Dave started to speak, but all the wind went right out of him as Jade lifted him clear off the ground, into a powerful and happy hug. “It’s been way too long!” Jade said happily, to some happy but muffled noises from Dave. He was pinned between her boobs, so it wasn’t surprising.

The other people in the shop awkwardly looked away, or giggled, or thought wistfully of envious thoughts for Dave’s position. Jane Crocker, a long-time friend of Jade’s, grinned at the pair, her own table slightly shifting weight from the pressure her potion-expanded breasts put on it; fully one side of it was covered by them, and she’d discreetly adjusted her coat to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions.

“Jade, help, need to breathe,” Dave managed to get out.

“Oops! Sorry!” Jade said. She dropped Dave, with a sheepish smile.

A voice cleared itself from behind her.

Jade turned around; the shop was fairly crowded now. But it had been, ever since she’d brought out her new line of potions. People had come to her all the time in any case; for potions of fertility or physical enhancement to strength and resistance, or giving big claws or aesthetic features like that; the occasional transformation for more height, or shrinking themselves a little bit. The healing potions had been quite popular, too. But her shop wasn’t built to have as many people as it did now waiting around, especially when after taking the potions they tended to hang around for a while, adjusting to their new bodies. Results still varied; some people got only a modest boost, while others grew as big as Jade had after months of careful experimenting and gradual growth (at least up to the first line of her bust enhancement potions, anyway). Jade remembered the kiss to Dave, and the warm feelings in her heart, and how much stronger the magic had felt then.

She was considering advertising them as best with mushy feelings.

The point was, Jade wasn’t very good at picking people out in the shop, since it wasn’t something she’d had to deal with until now. But now she realized that someone had come in with Jade.

Terezi Pyrope grinned; nearly twice as big as even Jade herself, looming over even the tallest people in town, she was a giantess among them, her body scaled in a way no troll normally was. A thick tail curled around her, and a great pair of wings flapped just enough to ensure that people steered clear of her. Jade found herself unconsciously ogling her; Terezi was big, enormously stacked on a scale equal to Jade herself, but somehow she felt… even bigger. The boobs were proportionately about the same as her own, but Terezi herself was so big that Jade could have used her breasts as exercise balls… or even cots!

Karkat was there, as he usually was; it was very rare to see one of them without the other. He hovered around her like an attendant, or a priest from old stories when the gods had walked the world, their clerics in tow. Jade had her own theories about that, given the sheer power radiating from Terezi…

But that was a thought for another time. Now she smiled. “You here on a professional level, or is this a friend visit?”

“A bit of both,” Terezi said. “You, uh, doing okay. You’ve been… going through some changes.”

Jade glanced down, and she felt aware of the eyes of others right on her expanded cleavage. She didn’t mind and laughed, privately cheering at all the attention on her hard work, with a great feeling of pride and confidence. “You could say that! But it was all on purpose so I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about, you know.”

Terezi chuckled. “Yeah, I figured. See? And Karkat was all worried about it!”

Karkat scoffed. “Someone had to. And Dave wanted someone to say something!”

“Dude, noooo….” DAve said meekly.

Jade turned towards him, head tilted. “Oh? Was someone concerned?” She grinned.

“...Maybe.”

“Oh, you should just hear what he says all the time,” Karkat said loftily, with the air of someone dropping a relationship rock right into a crowded social event. “It’s mortifying.”

Jade giggled. “Oh? I hope you’re saying nice things about me!”

Dave looked about ready to melt. “I dunno what they're talking about,” he said, trying to find refuge in denial.

“It’s so sappy,” Terezi said in a stage whisper.

“Aw!” Jade kissed Dave on the cheek, right in front of everyone. He made a precious ‘Hr-RK!’ noise that made her giggle again.

Terezi giggled as Dave awkwardly shuffled away, finding a desk and trying to recover his dignity. “But, seriously. I was wanting to buy a couple of these potions, maybe.”

That was a surprise to Jade; as the thrill of teasing Dave faded, she looked up and saw just more of Terezi’s massive, vision-filling bustline. They were so big already! As big as her own! “You don’t think you’ve got enough already…?” Jade asked, cautiously.

Terezi snorted. “You can always go bigger. And that’s kinda funny, coming from someone who’s still sampling her own goods.”

“Hmph. I don’t know what THAT means.” Jade tried to cross her arms over her chest but her breasts had gotten too big for her to do so easily. And true to Terezi’s words, they were in fact bigger than they had been during the initial growth, during the public event that had gotten all this attention. They were starting to tip closer to her waistline; it wasn’t too MUCH bigger, a product of Jade carefully watering down the samples as she kept experimenting on herself, and downplayed by her heavy work robes, but it was still a fair point. At least half a foot outwards, if not too much deeper.

“Well, I dunno. Let’s give you a baseline to outdo, hrm?” Terezi grinned. “Say, how much ARE these potions?”

Jade listed a number. It was a comfortable price that wasn’t too expensive, but didn’t diminish the effort it took to get the resources to make them; she viewed peddling them as a public service, in some ways. Terezi tossed some coins her way, and Jade handed her one of the bubbling flasks.

Terezi immediately popped the cork off. “Oooh,” Karkat said, eyes wide and amazed, realizing what she meant. Terezi lolled her massive tongue out and picked up the flask with her tongue, popping it into her mouth and draining the whole elixir down her throat in a single, heavy draught. Her thick tongue probed the flask, looking for every drop.

“You might wanna get closer to Terezi,” Jade quietly told Karkat. “It, uh, helps the change.”

Karkat hugged Terezi’s thigh, his arms squeezing deep into her ample flesh. “What do you mean-” He started to say.

“Eep!” Terezi exclaimed, magic radiating from her body, tinged with that special flavor of affection; her hand drifted right towards Karkat, and Jade knew that was just the right thing. “That’s the key!’ she thought. ‘That’s how to get big!’

And perhaps just to prove her point, Terezi grew. A little bit taller, but not much; a few inches, maybe. Just as well, given she was already a giant. Her hips swelled out, packing on a few extra inches; perhaps a finger span wider on both sides, and she was already so massively curvy that there might have not been that much to grow. Her clothes creaked heavily, especially as her big butt filled out even more, a few people behind her making awed noises at the wealth of butt they must have seen pushing up from the fabric enclosure. Her tail swelled, getting a little rounder, a little bit more like an eel’s tail…

Her breasts, though, erupted. In a single fluid motion, they swelled outwards, fluxing out like a cup being filled with water. They billowed, the teardrop shape growing more pronounced; from her gut, down to her waist. Her breasts expanded, and sideways too, swelling out so much that Terezi’s broad shoulders couldn’t even be seen. Most of her formidable body shape, in fact, was obscured; just her big hips, her huge thighs, the tail and wings, and those massive boobs.

Fabric tore. Her gut forced her boobs apart as it settled down, her stomach rising through the cleavage, and her shirt started to fray under the impact.

It was the quickest growth, and a particularly dramatic one; it was over almost immediately, and Jade gawked when she just had to acknowledge the reality of Terezi’s bustiness.

“Hah!” Terezi thrust her breasts out, openly delighted. “Beat that!”

Jade huffed. “Oh, I will!”

Karkat goggled. “Okay oh wow that is BIG.

From the side, Terezi’s breasts stuck out at least several additional feet; she probably couldn’t gather them up even if she stuck her arms out and pulled as much of her boobs in as possible. And given how big she was, they were big enough to use as exercise balls, or to sleep with. And from Karkat’s size… they must have looked so massive.

Terezi was probably thinking about that. Still smiling, she picked up Karkat, ignoring his usual token protests at being manhandled, and stuffed him right into her cleavage. His head popped out, expression suddenly completely calm, and then she pushed him down, completely contained.

Her face looked so peaceful. “Ooh yeah. That’s the stuff.” She grinned at Dave and Jade, gawking at her. “Hope this gives you ideas, Jade. Buh-bye!” With that, she walked off, Karkat encased in her cleavage.

Dave watched her go. Even her back was hypnotic, butt swelling up like a pair of wagons attached to her. “Sure did a number on her,” he said weekly. “What do you think she meant by that, anyway?”

“I dunno,” Jade lied. She thought about being so big she could do that to Dave.. stuffing him so close to her…

Her shirt felt tighter. Her breasts wobbled all on their own, and suddenly surged  a few sizes bigger. Dave saw the growth. “Did-did you just grow? Without taking any potion?!”

“Ooh, that’s… new!” She wasn’t really thinking about it, though. She was still watching Terezi strut off, all sexy and big.

“You’re not worried? Huh. Neat, I guess.”

She wasn’t really listening, either. Privately, Jade felt a surge of… envy, she supposed. Not that wasn’t quite it. It wasn’t that she wanted what Terezi had now.

She wanted more than what Terezi had now; it was like a competition, in some way. Terezi had outdone her, for now. But… her eyes narrowed. She wouldn’t let herself stay outdone!

She glanced up at Terezi’s mammoth body, where Karkat peacefully resting between her breasts, and she thought that maybe she DID envy Terezi having a boyfriend she could fit into her boobs. She then looked at Dave with an appraising look that made him feel strangely snuggly.

------

It had been quite some time since Chahut and Konyyl had been in town. The pair of them spent a great deal of time traveling abroad, to the other scattered townships and city-states, trading where they could and gathering things to sell back home. To be honest, and they’d had to correct others on this point (Konyyl irritably, and Chahut with a gentleness belying the terrible violence she could perform), they didn’t do the actual trading. They were hired muscle, protecting the merchants from bandits, overly strict travel policies, and sometimes shaking down someone trying to weasel out of paying on a deal.

They enjoyed their work; the traveling, and the hitting things. Still, while they’d been very well paid for what they did, staying on constant work wasn’t as appealing as the thought of going home until the next trade season rolled around.

Chahut was a very tall woman, even among trolls, who were generally bigger than humans or carapacians. Konyyl was a big woman too, and the two of them had similar thick-set body types; Konyyl with more obvious musculature, but given that Chahut was nearly twice her size, she looked bigger in every way. The two of them normally had no trouble clearing the way, with size and dark charisma and sheer force of ‘don’t mess with me’.

‘Normally’ being the keyword.

“I don’t, uh, recall everyone being this big,” Konyyl said as they walked past a crowd. She stood head and shoulders over most others, her own head somewhere around Chahut’s elbow, but that wasn’t the kind of big she was concerned about. Two carapacians, a few trolls and a human tottering behind them all went past them, diverting around them like water around a stone, and each of them had breasts as big as prize-winning pumpkins; the smallest had breasts as big as their heads, and the largest… their torsos, and some of their stomachs, couldn’t even be seen behind a wall of cleavage.

In fact, just about everyone they saw was sporting a bustline that dwarfed the pair of them. Konyyl crossed her muscular arms over her chest self-consciously. It was making her feel… small.

“Me neither,” Chahut said eventually. She sounded diffident, calm. But then… was she? Her voice had a slight tone of uncertainty. She glanced down at herself. Chahut wasn’t exactly a proud beauty, and Konyyl supposed that Chahut had never regarded her amplitude as anything except a minor facet of her physical form, but still. This was concerning.

“Something must have happened while we were gone,” Konyyl said, looking very off-balanced. “Some kind of weird magical event… maybe a weather thing, loaded up with magic?”

“A boob-storm?” Chahut’s tone dripped with amusement. “Now there’s a weird image.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Like to see you explain what’s going on here!”

Chahut turned. Their latest employer was hurrying over to them, and she noticed something else that way. “A potion that makes boobs bigger got real popular, maybe?”

“Well, maybe.”

“Look, little beefy.” Chahut pointed, and Konyyl turned. Down that way, there was a small advert board; freshly painted, from the smell. It displayed a grinning Jade Harley (a familiar figure to the both of them, though they didn’t know her closely, but everyone bought from Jade; they’d spent a lot of time at her shop, taking deliveries for a trading run), her face squeezed into a corner. The rest of it was taken up by her breasts, flooding over the entire billboard; absurdly massive, they were, extending out by at least five feet! The style of the ad was fairly cutesy, as fit her tastes in artwork, but they looked big enough to dip to her thighs, so big she could sleep on them.

ON the ad, between the art-drawn Jade, there was a bottled potion. “Want a bustline like mine? Come down to Jade’s Alchemical Esoterica for all your bust expansion needs!” the ad’s text said, in a cheery green font.

“Konyyl! Chahut!” said their employer, a human, and pointed at the ad. “Did you see!?”

“Kind of hard not to,” Konyyl quipped. Chahut nodded gravely.

“Not that! I mean… whoa, that’s a hell of an eyecatcher… but no! I mean, Jade’s shop is that way! Have you seen her yet!?”

“No?” Konyyl tilted her head. “Why?”

“I just… look, I gotta get a group together. We’ll need to find a demonstrator, and a caravan equipped to transport potion goods… gods, we’ll make so much money! But, ah!” The human fretted, trying to balance too many things at once in the mind, and thrust two large pouches heavy with coinage at them. “Here! So I don’t forget! Your pay for this trip. I gotta go, just… you might wanna drop in at Jade’s?”

And then, the human ran off, so full of excitement that there was a little bit of hopping and dancing. The two troll women watched him go. “Well,” Konyyl said. “I don’t have anything else going on. Azdaja’s got a while before he meets up with me. What about you?”

“Eh, same here. Not the bit about Azdaja,” Chahut replied, with a wry tusk-filled grin. “Let’s check it out, eh?”

The two of them followed the path to Jade’s shop. As they went, they were struck that navigating the marketplace was a more tricky affair than they remembered it being; almost every woman there was obscenely buxom, occupying at least a couple of feet in front of them with enough boobage to produce scandals in some of the more prim places they’d been. Both trolls moved very carefully to avoid bumping into someone’s breasts, and considering how much of that there was, it was very hard going.

It seemed demand for whatever Jade was selling was dropping; there weren’t that many people there, though all of them tended towards the same buxom frame. The few exceptions were doing their best to fix that; as they entered, they heard Jade’s cheery voice: “And try to drain it down in a single gulp! It won’t do any good to save some for later, it’ll transform you just the same. Be sure to drink lots of water and have plenty of food, you’re gonna be hungry!”

There was Jade, standing in her shop, her back turned to the entrance. Konyyl and Chahut were momentarily stunned. Jade looked so… thick. Even more than she used to be, even more than Konyyl! (Though at least, Konyyl reflected, Jade didn’t quite have the muscle.) A fairly slim dress as vibrantly green as her namesake jewel, clinging tightly to a body that seemed to be a waterfall of slowly expanding curves; a broad and huggable torso, an expanding waistline straining the limits of a dress, with hips so broad that it must have been hard to get through a doorway. At least a couple feet across!

Her butt, plump and round enough that a very small caparacian could have sat on it with room to kick up their legs, waggled back and forth as she spoke. Quite a lot of her big, unbelievably wide thighs must have been taken up with that butt. Konyyl felt her mouth go a bit dry, just at the sight of it. Even Chahut seemed impressed.

Though she did seem to have other things on her mind. “What’s that she’s got in front of her?” She wondered, squinting.

“Not sure,” Konyyl said. Two objects spread out in front of Jade from their angle, taking up a lot of space directly in front of her. She shrugged. “Let’s go in and get some answers.” They both stepped in, the bell atop the door ringing. A few people saw them and greeted them; at the door, sitting on a chair and off-duty, was Dave, waving to the both of them.]

“Sup,” He said pleasantly. “Try not to let her mow ya down.”

He sounded like he was talking from experience. He grinned a little saying it, so it wasn't a bad experience, either. Konyyl didn’t get a chance to ask about it; Jade had started turning around when she heard the doorbell, and the prospective potion buyer had already left with their purchase, and both Konyyl and Chahut stopped cold, mouths open and thoughts empty, when they saw Jade from the front.

The advertisement had not exaggerated, in the slightest. Completely obscuring the front of Jade’s body was the biggest… widest… roundest…

Konyyl’s brain shut down, a little bit. Jade approached. The shutting down got worse. There was just so much… bouncing. And that dress! The cleavage deep enough for her to sink into! Over four feet deep! Cut down to the belly, rounder and firmer, and it was making her look so curvy, just like a fertility icon of the Dragon Goddess…

(Distantly, Terezi had a vague feeling that someone was referring to her, or at least her true nature. She shrugged and got on with what she was doing, which was beating Karkat in a game of strategy despite not even knowing the rules.)

It had been a while since Terezi’s big transformation. Jade had taken her challenge to heart; she’d been growing periodically on her own, but she’d boosted the effects with regular intakes of potion, and spending lots of time with Dave, whenever possible, and the effects were definitely knocking the two trolls about.

Even Chahut was completely lost for words. Well, most words. She managed to get out: “...Hi, Jade?”

“WHAT THE HECK,” Konyyl demanded. She flung her beefy arms out, gesturing at Jade. “We leave for like a few months and you’re all… all… everyone is all…” She inhaled. She let it out with a cry of “Big! WHY.”

Jade swept both trolls, taller than her, into a powerful hug. The both of them, by no means frail, made squeaking noises as Jade’s surprising strength shoved the remaining air right out, or perhaps that was the full weight of her monstrously huge boobs shoving into them. From throat to Jade’s legs they spanned her body, probably weighing more than she did. It had to be her own enormous strength that prevented them from being a physical hindrance, or some kind of wacky magic?

Jade parted from them, the pair still stunned. “So!” She said, a flirty tone in her words. Dave watched, grinning expectantly. “How do I look~?”

“You look… good,” Konyyl said weakly.

“Big,” Chahut agreed, and it was so very surreal to see her look so shaken.

Jade grinned. “You guys haven’t been in town a while. I bet everyone’s looking a little bigger than they used to, eh?”

Konyyl made the connection; the advertisement, Jade’s potions, Jade’s own size… “Was it… did you do a magic thing?”

Jade pulled out a basketful of potions that could have fit into her cleavage with ease. Given that she did a little twirl before bringing it out, it was entirely possible she’d been hiding it in her cleavage for such a dramatic moment. “I might have come up with a potion that does some boob embiggening, yeah!” She grinned wickedly, dangling one in front of them. Both women stared at it, sense of intrigue naked on their expressions. “What do you think? Might you be interested?”

“I might,” Chahut said.

Konyyl tugged out her coin purse. “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, SEDUCTRESS!”

Jade giggled and passed their purchases as Chahut and Konyyl got a couple each. “Be sure to take them when you’re with someone that you’re close to, or at least makes you feel happy. Like a friend, or something romantic.” She looked at Dave for a moment, across the shop, and absently tapped a massive breast, as if to say ‘he is responsible for this’. “It, um. Seems to help make bigger growth.”

Chahut and Konyyl glanced at him, and then Jade. Chahut made a heart-shape with her fingers. Konyyl said, “You and him…? Is that a thing?”

Jade fluished. “Well, I dunno. Um.” Her confidence, so recently ironclad and as abundant as her bustline, faltered. “It might be?”

The two women chuckled at that, with the tone of someone who had suspected it was a thing for quite a while, and left. Well, Jade thought, People were going to assume it was a thing, the way they liked to talk!

She didn’t really mind the thought, though.

It felt… official.

-------

And then, a few weeks onward, and word spread: even faster and wider than Jade’s bustline, or the average growth rate in town. Word of Jade’s marvelous bust-enhancing potions, and the increases many people had reported in their physical strength.

Caravans had already left, loaded up with bust potion, to peddle them to distant lands. Already, people who’d heard of it from travelers bearing incredibly massive breasts had come there, and left with potions and mighty busts of their own. And they’d told people, who came and told others when they got back…

And word had spread, of this town with its genius alchemist who’d captured a little bit of the past and its faculty for body modification elixirs for fun and profit.

Now, people were coming to town every day, caravans of them, traders zeroing in on the town, and not just for the potion, but for the other goods the town offered.

So, feeling rather dazed, Jade found herself being handed a big trophy, and a hearty handshake from the mayor.

A small, impish figure (so similar to the imps that lurked outside town, in fact, that Jade felt bad when her excursions required fighting them), his black shell glistening in the light like a little playing piece in the kind of games Terezi liked to play. Jade felt enormously self conscious and smiled awkwardly as what must have been a good portion of the town sat expectedly in the auditorium, listening to his speech. Or what bits they could understand; the Mayor spoke exclusively in the private language of the carapacian people, and the Chief Courier translated hurriedly, as best she could. Judging from her winces and split-second word swaps, the Mayor’s actual words were probably fairly profane and coarse at best.

“...And so, for your breakthrough in aesthetic transfigurations bringing such trade to us, we have prospered as we never have before!” The chief courier said. “Food, valuable minerals, magical substances of every kind, and livestock are flooding in, and we are doing better than we ever had!’”

“I didn’t mean to start an economic revolution,” Jade said meekly. “I just thought people would find my invention cool…”

“Well, we’re getting filthy stinking rich,’” the courier said, her expression implying this was the nice translation. “‘So all’s good! In my book! Now, go on, take your… um… yeah, I can’t translate that.” The mayor scowled at her, and waved a hand at Jade.

Jade took the award, a heavy gold thing that would look very nice on a necklace, though it’d probably sink into her cleavage. “Oh, very well… thank you so much! I’m glad to be of service!”

She bowed to the enriched crowd as they applauded, but she tried not to bow too much. Her boobs had continued to grow and grow, and her experiments had finally died down a little in efficacy; regardless of what she put in them, she was only getting a little bit of growth, and she figured she had reached the peak of what her potion could reasonably do, for the present. Her breasts had reached the biggest size she could manage for now.

But what a size it was! Most of Jade’s body mass was now in her breasts, she wasn’t any skinnier or less thick (indeed, her hips had continued to grow, so much so that doorways were too skinny for her now; four feet across, and counting, with a butt sticking three feet out and just the right shape for Dave to sit on it), but if her weight was to be counted, so much of it was in her breasts that she thought of them as the core of herself now.

She wasn’t sure of the actual weight. The scales kept busting. But they were so large that their bottoms dipped down, down, all the way past her knees! Each breast was four feet height, and over eight feet across, obscuring almost her entire body when seen from a front, a size proportionately equaled by no one. The weight of them moving, when she did, was so divine; she felt such pleasure at every bounce and wiggle, a micro-burst of euphoria whenever it surged forward and dragged her along with it.

She glanced at the crowd; she saw Terezi, looming over it, grinning and wiggling her claws at her, and Karkat on her head like an excitable crown, mirroring her friendly gesture. Near them was Chahut and Konyyl, their own breasts as big as the most abundantly fertile gourds; at least down to the naval, and she felt proud in making such big and beautiful women even larger.

Again she thought: No one is as big as me! She felt proud, and more than the award she held, her own body felt like a testament to her willingness to experiment.

She glanced at Dave. He’d helped. Not just the stuff he’d gathered; just being there for her, and the feelings he brought out in her. That was part of it, she was sure. Every time she’d started to grow really big, he’d been there, making her feel big. A feeling in her heart, expanding out and her body growing to match…

It was wonderfully, obnoxiously sappy. She had to love it.

The Mayor followed her gaze, and misunderstanding her thoughts, spoke at length. “The mayor would like to thank Mister Dave Strider for his tireless efforts in helping Miss Harley… despite it being on work hours,” The chief courier added in a stern tone. The mayor nudged her as if to say ‘get on with it!’. “Oh, right. Anyway. Please step up to the podium?”

“What?” Dave stepped over, looking surprised. “What? Oh, come on. This is all Jade!”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help,” Jade said sincerely, gazing down at him, eyes half-lidded and warm.

He flustered in the light. “Don’t be sappy, come onnnn….”

“I mean it!” She thought of a way to convince him that, yes, she really was saying it to be honest, and a wild idea came in front of her. In front of all these people, though? Part of her qualed at the thought…

But another part of her, proud and reveling in having such a massive, buxom bustline, retorted: ‘If we’re gonna be shy now, what’s even the point of having such magnificent boobs!?”

Jade thus leaned forward, her breasts clearing the floor, and encircling Dave’s whole body; he was caught up in boob-age, enwrapped and captured, and he managed a squeak of alarm as Jade tilted her body up, bouncing him even deeper into her cleavage, his whole body imprisoned and his face closer to her own-

And she moved her face to his own, and kissed him firm, softly, right on the mouth.

Lip to lip, the kiss deepened, like a promise she hadn’t realized she’d made

Dave initially didn’t respond, in his shock. And then, to her delight, he deepened the kiss on his own, sincere and honest as she knew he really was afraid to be. She didn’t think about it being in front of so many people, but later she thought: this was the best way to do it. To prove she was serious, showing it on her big moment.

The mayor, blushing, said something like “oh my!” The chief courier goggled for a moment, and she glanced at the mayor, and considered buying a few potions from Jade later, on the quiet.

“What’s going on?!” Terezi asked impatiently, her senses not able to compensate for her blindness this once.

“Dave and Jade are hooking up, I think,” Karkat said laconically on her head. “She’s doing the kinda thing to him that you like to do to me.”

“Boob sandwich?!”

“Yep.”

“Hah! I knew she’d do that!”

Chahut whistled, very much impressed. Konyyl nudged Azdaja by boob-bumping him; as it was, he’d been sitting down in front of her, his horns and height just right for her to rest her new bustline on top of his head. “This give you any ideas, eh?” She asked, grinning wildly.

“Yeah but I think you beat me to them,” He replied calmly.

The kiss kept going on, as the audience took it in. Dave and Jade, together? The overall vibe was less surprise, or shock or scandal (the town being a fairly amiable place, after all), and more ‘oh so that finally happened’. Not surprising, given the general opinion of the pair.

“All right, all right!” The chief courier said, shushing the smooching pair. “That’s enough! On your own time, you two!”

Jade allowed her breasts to settle, and down Dave went. He gracefully slid through her cleavage and back onto the floor, and awkwardly stepped away. He remembered the heat of her body, blushing intensely. He rarely showed clear emotion, or expressed himself too openly…

But now, he was smiling.

Dirk and Hal, in the crowd, both cracked their own smiles at the sight. “There ya go, little bro,” Dirk said softly.

“You owe me money now,” Hal said gleefully. “And here you bet it’d be another half-year before they hooked up!”

Dirk rolled his eyes and passed the construct some coins. “It was a safe bet. Took them this long to hook up!”

The ceremony ended soon enough, after that. People filed out, one after another, some of them pausing to congratulate Jade again. Others went to congratulate Dave.

But soon enough, the two of them were alone. Dave had some trouble marshalling his thoughts, the feeling of Jade’s warmth everywhere around him so beguiling that it was easier to just lose himself in the memory, not in the now....

He did his best, though. “Hey, Jade?” Dave asked.

Jade, thinking about the lovely feeling of Dave’s whole body in her cleavage, pinned and safe there, his heart beating into her whole-breast pulse, made a soft murmuring sound. “Mm?”

“What do you think about, eh… going on a walk or something. When things quiet down, I mean.”

She smiled sweetly. “I’d like that.” She leaned to the side and kissed him again.

It was the kind of kiss a lover gives.

[gerec]

AU-gust 2020 Prompts

AUs 1-10 on Ao3

11. Farm/Ranch AU - Cherik Xavierine, Cherigan? 12. Crime AU - Cherik 13. Rock Band AU - Cherik, Xavierine 14. Vampire AU - Cherik

15. Modern AU - Cherik

---

Instead of Role Reversal I went with the option of Modern AU! Thanks to everyone who sent me ideas, and an extra big thanks to @kianspo for the prompt! I hope you don’t mind that I tweaked it a little. :D

(Erik doesn’t keep kosher in this verse. Also CRACK.)

---

By the time the appetizers arrive Charles is ready to throw in the towel, and concede that this is in fact, the worst first date he’s ever been on in his entire life.

Strike 1 – His date is handsome, well-bred, fabulously wealthy, and supposedly in the line of succession for the tiny Eastern European nation of Latvia. He is also arrogant, self-important, and loves hearing himself talk, and Charles swears he’s going to murder Reed Richards, who told Charles he knew ‘the perfect person to set you up with to get over your ex’, and that was after talking him into taking over Genetics 101 class for the fall term.

Murder.

Strike 2 – They’re at his favorite restaurant, or the one that used to be his and Erik’s favorite place to go, a charming little Italian trattoria with the best panna cotta in all of Manhattan. Victor had taken one look at the homey, down-to-earth décor and snorted, and offered to get them reservations elsewhere, guaranteed to have much better food and service.

Charles had to refrain from braining the man with his menu.

Worse is the fact that not ten minutes after they’re seated, Charles spies Erik arriving with Moira for dinner, with the owner greeting them warmly and placing them at a table much too close for comfort. He manages a half smile, half grimace when Erik and Moira wave at him, though thankfully (or rather not, since it might actually improve the evening to have his ex and his best friend interrupt his blind date) they choose not to make their way over for an awkward introduction.

He thinks it’s entirely unfair that he’d much rather be over at their table, drinking wine and laughing about Erik’s minions or Moira’s cases, than being stuck here listening to Dr. Boring go on and on and on about his giant castle and his super-duper secret important research…

Strike 3 comes just after the main course, when the nervous young man at the next table pops the question to his unsuspecting companion. Between the lovely (if overly saccharine) vows of adoration, the enthusiastic applause by the other diners and some rather overt eye rolling by his own snobby date, Charles is ready to skip dessert and call it a night – preferably with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ‘Chip Happens’ in front of the TV.

Of course his plan is completely upended when one half of the newly engaged starts choking, having inhaled a piece of steak much too quickly in his excited state. Frantic, Charles grabs Victor and tugs him out of his chair, and shoves him at the young man and his panicky fiancé and demands, “Quick, you have to help him.”

Startled, Victor looks at him and says, “What? I don’t know how to help!”

By now the dining room is in chaos, with the waiter running to the kitchen to find someone to help. “What do you mean you don’t know how?” Charles snaps, “you’re a doctor!”

“I’m not…actually a doctor?” Victor admits, looking a little sheepish for the first time this evening. “I mean, I did get an honorary—”

“Oh do shut up,” Charles growls, shoving him out of the way. In the same instant, Erik appears at his side like a guardian angel, and performs the Heimlich on the poor boy to the relief of the entire restaurant.

“Oh my god, thank you so much,” the fiancé cries, as Charles and Erik help the two of them pack up their things. It’s important to get checked out by a doctor, he tells them, to ensure there are no lasting effects from choking, and they are too shocked and relieved to do much more than let themselves get gently herded out the door and into a cab.

When he steps back inside the restaurant, Erik at his heels, he finds the owner waiting for them, pulling first Charles and then Erik into a hug.

Massimo shakes his head and shudders. “Those poor boys. Thank goodness for you two. I hate to think what would have happened if you hadn’t been here.”

Charles laughs. “Much as I would love to take credit, it was all Erik’s doing. He’s the hero of the night.”

“Yes, yes,” Massimo agrees, “but he wouldn’t have been over there so fast if he hadn’t been watching your table all night, am I right?”

Charles can’t believe it, but Erik actually flushes a delightful pink at Massimo’s teasing, and pretends to scowl at the elderly man when they both start to chuckle. “I wasn’t watching the table! I was just…wondering what kind of man wears a cape to dinner.”  

He can’t even be mad at Erik’s little jab, because Charles had thought the exact same thing.

“Oh hey Charles, sorry to interrupt.” It’s their favorite waiter Sean, who had been shooting dirty looks at Victor all night, much to Charles’ amusement. “Your date paid the bill and left. He said to tell you he’s sorry he had to leave but there was an emergency and blah blah blah he’ll call you. God, what an absolute prick.”

“Now Sean—” Massimo says warningly, though he can’t quite keep the grin off his face.

“No, no Sean’s right.” He can’t even be mortified that Erik is right here, getting a front row seat to the utter shit show of a date he’s had all evening; he’s that relieved it’s over. “That was a huge, terrible, catastrophic mistake I won’t be repeating again. I just want to go home and pretend this entire night never happened.”

“Or you could join us for dessert?”

Charles turns to find Erik looking at him rather intently, almost…hopeful as he waits for an answer.

“I don’t want to interrupt your dinner.”

This time Erik rolls his eyes at him and snorts. “Moira and I are just catching up on work and Tony’s latest disaster.” Then his expression softens and he adds, “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other and had a chance to talk. I’d like to know how you’ve been doing. Please.”

“I—”

“I’ll bring another place setting over.” Sean interrupts with a grin.

“And I’ll bring you your favorite Panna cotta for two, and a tiramisu for Ms. MacTaggert, yes?” Massimo says, entirely unashamed with his blatant meddling.

Charles laughs; he can’t say no to what is admittedly a lovely offer, and a chance to turn the disastrous evening around to something much more enjoyable – certainly not when all three faces are looking at him with such hope and expectation.    

“Dessert sounds great,” he says, and lets Massimo herd them towards Erik’s table.

[themidnightfarmer]

Papa don’t preach || Deirdre & Jared

Timing: Before the end of the party.

Location: The store/ Jareds farm/ middle of town (they wander)

Tagging: @deathduty & @themidnightfarmer

Description: Jared picks up an initially reluctant Deirdre for a good time!

Triggers: Mind alteration tw, injury tw, 

After the first night perhaps Jared had gotten a little carried away. But from his point of view what was the harm in keeping the party going as long as he possibly could. He’d never had this much of a good time during mushroom season, he’d really been missing out on just how good it felt to be free. With a growing mass of fae and enthusiastic ‘vicious’ type people back at the farm to take care of, Jared had made a trek out to the store to stock up. Load after load of juice, and alcohol, and food were being pushed into the bed of his truck when he felt eyes on him. Feeling that tingling in his fingertips he recognised this as what Lydia had described as sensing another fae. He smiled widely at the onlooker and waved a hand “You feeling like a party? Got a rager going on at my place.”

Deirdre was itching for a party, her body burned for it. She resisted the call the best she could, but the more she thought about the mushrooms, the more she wanted what they offered. Who was she kidding, anyway? She had always been terrible at resisting the pull of things; love, death, mushrooms. She burned her gaze into every fae she came across, the unspoken question of mushrooms hanging between them. Today, it happened to be some poor tall blonde man. “Fuck,” she hissed, “yes. I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been waiting for someone to ask. I just need someone to ask.” She twitched, bouncing with energy. Her mind screamed its arguments. This was wrong. What if there were mushrooms at this party? She said she would be avoiding those. She told Morgan she would. “Can I tag along?” She pointed to the truck, “I could use a good party really bad right now. I have all this energy from the---” she gestured wildly, “you know what. I’ve been trying not to step in one but---” She coughed, “just, yeah. I could use a party right now.”  

“Well, I’m asking bud!” Jared grinned at her. He closes up the bed of the truck and hits the metal. “Hop in, you can absolutely tag along.” His mood lifted even further when she implied what had given him joy these last few days. “Too late for me on theta front.” He told her holding the passenger door open for her to get in. “Have one next to the first barn on my farm. It just popped up this year with no warning. Never has before. But I guess with more and more like us in the area it’s likely it felt the need to be more liberal this season.” Almost skipping around to the drivers side he hopped in and smiled again turning the engine on and taking off. “I’m Jared, your host for the evening. Who’re you?”

Deirdre settled into his truck with excitement. It wasn’t until she was already buckled in that his comment about the mushrooms hit her. Oh no. Oh no, this was bad. She should stop. She should get out and-- “Mushrooms!” She cheered, “I knew I could count on you to have the good stuff, stranger. I love you. You’re my new best friend. I’m going to make a human get a tattoo of your face to show how much I love you.” She grinned madly, kicking her feet up on the dashboard. “Deirdre,” she introduced herself casually, “nice to meet you, Jared. I can’t believe you live on a farm. I grew up on one. I miss it.” She turned to him, “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun, you and me. I know it. I promise it.”  

Not quite sure what to make of her comment about a tattoo his only comment was “If you do make sure it’s by Luce Vural.” The drive would take them out of town and then down the long dirt track to the outer gates of his land, so they had time to chat a little. “My farm isn’t like one you likely grew up on. Got a greenhouse, but I don’t really grow any crops. My livestock aren’t all that friendly either. Only bit that might be similar to a real farm is the horses. Got two working and one rescue. They’re real saviours of the place let me tell you.” The promise caught the nymph off guard and he blinked. “You promise? That’s wild, but you know-” he cut himself off and let the haze of excitement wash over him and chase away the worry. “Sounds rad. The others should all still be going strong in the barn.” Pulling up to the farm he delighted in pointing out the ring, visible from the spot he was parking in front of the house. And then gesturing to the rowdy group tucked away in the barn. “I’m adopting every last one of you guys into the family. I’m going to take good care of you, you’re going to have a fucking great season.” He enthused jumping out to unload the truck.

“No farm is like the one I grew up on,” Deirdre sighed, staring out at the landscape rushing past them. For a moment, she seemed to sober and remember that this was a bad idea. In another, she grew more excited for the planned party ahead. “I like horses,” she said absently, forgetting herself. When they finally reached Jared’s farm, she was happy to hop out and survey the land. So there was the barn, and there was the beautiful, beautiful ring--practically aglow against the grass. “Yeah, that sounds great and---I’m sorry, excuse me?” She snapped her attention to Jared, confused, “you’re going to do what? Adopt us? I’m sorry that---what? Adopt!?” He must have misspoke. Deirdre shook her head, remembered the mushrooms she was soon to be reunited with, and tried to help Jared unload. “You can’t adopt other fae...we’re technically already family.” 

“No farm is like mine either! Maybe not in set up but it’s one of a kind I'd think.” Jared laughed heartily, not really picking up on her mood, he was too in his own head about having potentially just found a fae that felt similar to his kids. Of course he was not a nymph of vicious fae, so any feeling he had was all down to the mushrooms, but in his mind he was really developing since he had stepped into that circle. Unloading the soda from the back of the truck Jared beamed. “Yeah adopt, or rescue like I do with my kids. You’ll all be safe to have a good time here is what I mean.” Had he been clear minded he would have been able to hear how weird that sounded, but as it stood he just laughed. “Well, no adoption required then, you’re already part of the family. Welcome to the farm.” On those words it was as if the spell on the fae and humans in the barn had been broken, the people started to spill out towards the bonfire again, and the music got louder. “This season is my first, I plan on doing it properly.” Jared admitted before nudging Deirdre towards the ring. “Come on, lets both do it right?!”

"Like you do with your—you have kids?" Deirdre watched Jared curiously, she hoped she might find some answer in the way he moved or the expression on his face. But he was serious. He wanted a family. "Uh huh…" Then she watched humans and fae pool out of his barn, moving their party across the pasture, towards a bonfire. Even as far as Fairy Ring parties went, this was impressive. She whistled under her breath, "you're doing good for yourself, Jared." And then there was the mushrooms. Deirdre froze, staring down at the ring. It wanted her, it called for her, she could feel Jared urging her and the other fae ready to welcome her in. But she didn't want this. She told Morgan she wouldn't, she told Morgan there would be more time and she—Deirdre's hand snapped out and she gripped Jared tightly. "I-I can't—" She started to cry, trembling wildly as she poured the last of herself into resisting. "Please, I don't want to—I don't—" She was begging nonsensically, pleading with herself and the mushrooms. Then she stepped forward. The mushrooms had won, and her tears dried against her face. She turned to Jared and grinned wide, "let's fucking party!" 

“My animals are my kids usually. I love every single one of them.” He told her with a beaming smile. “But lately people have been coming to stay and I can’t say I don’t like it an awful lot as well.” Dropping off the last box of chips Jared was startled out of his action by the woman grabbing his arm tight. He was almost shaken out of his daze by the tears in her eyes and the tone of her voice. What was wrong with the circle? Was there something he’d missed? Was he putting all his new family at risk being around it? But the moment seemed to pass as quickly as it started -if only to Jareds addled brain. His arm followed her as she took that one step needed to be in the circle. And then as if by magic, her fear was gone, the entire tone of her being had shifted into what it had been before. An excitement at the prospect of a party and not...whatever that had just been. Ignoring what had just happened wouldn’t have worked if he’d been more sober, but as it was, he took her hand and started to pull her towards the party. “Lets dance!” 

Jared was Deirdre’s bestest friend ever. Nevermind that they’d just met, and that she knew nothing about him other than the fact he was fae, blonde, tall, owned a farm and said strange things about family. It didn’t matter. Because he was one with the mushrooms too, just like Deirdre was. The banshee pulled off her shirt and tossed it aside, running towards the party with Jared. “I love you, Jared!” She screeched, maintaining a safe volume, but by a slim margin. “You’re like the best. I heard it from the shrooms. They said it!” The mushrooms welcomed Deirdre happily, just like the party. And she whooped and hollered and danced like she was born to do it. “Why aren’t you getting naked?” She asked her new best-friend forever.  

His responsible act was finished as soon as Deidre had changed her tune about the whole situation. She ran and laughed and started to take off her clothes and Jared remembered just how much he HATED wearing any. Stupid human laws about indecency, everyone used to be naked millions of years ago. Stupid humans had it all wrong. Running after her towards the crowd at the bonfire Jared pulled his shirt over his head and stumbled, falling and rolling trying to get his shoes off. He bounced up as soon as they were gone and he laughed, why on earth had he even gone for snacks and soda. Someone else should have gone, one of the humans who hadn’t had the urge to be rid of the barriers between them and nature. He reached Deirdre and grinned, weaving through the crowd of fae and humans alike to turn up the music. He offered her a hand. “Lets dance!”

Deirdre danced wildly, taking Jared’s hands and spinning around him, spinning him around her--there was a lot of spinning. So much so that at the end of it, the sky suddenly became the ground...or she’d simply fallen over and forgotten which way was up and which was down. Deirdre hopped back to her feet. “We should get louder!” She yelled to Jared, “the mushrooms like it when we’re loud! I can scream? Should I scream?” She wasn’t sure how long they’d been dancing, or how much longer they’d keep dancing. But it didn’t matter much to her, she would have stayed there all day. She was, after all, Jared’s family. And, weirdly, adopted by him? She hadn’t worked that one out yet. “Do we have to call you daddy?” She asked quietly, thinking about it more, “because that feels a little weird.” 

Jared had grown dizzy as well, and hadn’t been able to catch her when she’s fallen. But the grass in the pasture was thick, and hadn’t been too badly trampled yet by the party goers so she at least had a soft landing. Time seemed to be of no concern to almost everyone on the farm, even the host himself couldn’t tell anyone how long it had been from moment to moment, he only noted the sunrise and fall...and that was only if he looked up. “Scream away!” The nymph told her laughing, not having picked up on what kind of fae she was at all. It seemed like an innocent question to him. He wanted all his vicious kids to have whatever their hearts desired. “Daddy?” he giggled, and then snorted and then giggled again. “Yeah totally.” she didn’t have to, no one had to. But the idea caught him and he couldn’t keep himself in line. “Look at me, I’m your daddy now.” he said. If he remembered this when he was sober, the regret would set in for sure. But that was sober Jareds problem now.

It was weird. Even through the fog of mushrooms, Deirdre knew that. But this was Jared’s farm and if he wanted to adopt everyone, then that wasn’t a concern of hers. She looked at him as he commanded and giggled. “Sure thing, daddy!” Weirdness aside, Jared was her new best friend forever and she wasn’t going to let any weird names squander that. “So cover your ears!” She aimed up at the sky and let out a scream, and then another, timing the sounds to the beat of the mushrooms in her head. She turned to him with a grin, allowing the party sounds to swell louder around her. They all needed to scream, even if they couldn’t do it like her. “How was that, daddy?” 

He’d gotten the giggles, and when she actually bought into the joke Jared was sent into another round of them. This was however halted abruptly when she screamed. The shock sent out like a wave through the party. Everyone one by one covered their ears, although as soon as she was finished it didn’t take long for things to start back up again. The magic of mushroom season and a sprinkling of stray sod. “Holy heck that was wild, banshee? Never met a banshee!” He had all sorts of questions for her, but they were cut short by the sirens. Seemed the party had reached a loud enough state to warrant a nearby neighbour some grief that they’d never had before from Jared. And the scream had upped the stakes. The nymph blinked and just looked on as the cop car rolled up. The only rational part of his brain managing to have him reach for pants. “Can I help you officers?” he asked, trying to act cool, but his mind was still reeling. 

“Are you the property owner?” the cop asked looking at the crowd of people and then at Deirdre. “What’s going on here?”

Deirdre scrambled for her shirt--humans were so weird about toplessness--except she couldn’t find it, so she had to take one off another party goer and slip it on. She beamed at the cops, sliding up beside Jared. “Just a party,” she nodded, putting on her best ‘boring’ voice---humans liked that too. They wouldn’t take well to the giggling and the jumping about. “You know--” she nudged Jared, “I think I saw some drugs over there.” She pointed towards the mushroom ring, “not ours, obviously! But it’s weird that it’s just sitting there, right? You should come with us to check it out.” She tried to wink at Jared, but might just have been blinking oddly at him. The two officers looked at each other and sighed. Eventually, she managed to get an ‘okay’ out of one and a ‘sure, show us’ from the other. “Lead the way Dad---Jare!” She laughed and nudged Jared again. This was his farm, and he should get the honors of binding the two officers to the ring. 

The nymph was glad that Dierdre stepped forward with him. His head wasn’t quite screwed on tight enough for dealing with the law. He tried to avoid dealing with the law altogether if he could help it….unless it was his new friend Roland. That guy was cool. This train of thought had Jared mumbling about baby sharks before he was snapped back to the present by an elbow. A smile came over his face once again and he followed her lead. “No no drugs at this party no way no how unless someone else came with some.” He agreed before moving out of the way of the officers so that they could come further onto the property. Jared knew however -with a growing relief- that the officers would never make it to the ring. The stray sod had been spreading for days, the whole field was riddled with the stuff. They were going to lose all sense of what they’d come for in five, four, three- Jared bit his lip when the looks on the officers faces shifted. That was them, they were theirs now. They stopped moving and he took the closest officer's hand. “Here for the party right bud?” He said in a confident tone. He glanced at Deirdre and jerked his head. “Come on bud, let's get you a drink and maybe some face paint.” He handed the officers off to another partygoer and turned to Deirdre with a booming laugh. He glanced at the cop car sitting in the gateway and smirked at her. “Wanna do some doughnuts in town?”

Deirdre hadn't even noticed the stray sod, if she did, she might have said that was her ingenious plan instead. Getting officers into fairy rings could be a real pain in the ass, there were some promises they had to establish first to make sure they didn't blab, and an ever growing list of things they needed to double and triple check. It could be more tedious than it was fun. But stray sod was always fun. They hadn't even made it more than halfway there when confusion sank into their faces. She could imagine their thoughts scrambling around, where were they? How did they get there? Where did they want to go again, and which way was it? Once Jared led her away, Deirdre broke out into raucous laughter. "That was good!" And then she looked to the car, conveniently left on with the keys in the ignition. It was careless of them in retrospect, but Deirdre was sure they didn't expect anyone to be slipping past them and into their car. "Hell yeah!" She nudged Jared along, slipping into the passenger seat. "You drive because I'm bad at it!" She called out to him, happily tapping her fingers along the dashboard. All of this started with a car ride, all of this could end nicely with one too—not that she wanted it to end. 

With someone alongside him to urge him on in his whims, Jared had no way of stopping the mess that was likely to be the joyride through town. Whilst he’d felt himself sober enough to drive to get supplies earlier in the day, it had been a good while now dancing and passing through the mushroom circle earlier again hadn’t helped. His mind was full of fluff, and his heart was longing to keep having fun with his new friend. She was everything he didn’t know he’d been missing to the party and now that she was here he wanted to do even more than he had before. Into the driving seat and Jared flipped on all the sirens and he pulled the plug on the police radio so that they wouldn’t have the music blasting from the speakers interrupted by useless petty crime notifications. They were off. The drive down the first path was long but at speed it didn’t take long enough to notice. He drove straight into down and directly to the last location he knew there’d been a vehicle hijacking. His own tractor that time, but this time -as he pulled the handbrake and the car began to swing around, burning rubber in the desired doughnut shape- he called out “no moose statue to hit anymore!”

“DADDY JARED IS THE BEST!!” Deirdre screeched out the open car window. She wasn’t sure who she was talking to, or why she felt the need to say it, but it was true and of that she didn’t argue. She didn’t quite understand what was going on, but she hadn’t really understood all night. First she was at a store, then she was in a truck, then she was topless and now she was in another vehicle. The only thing that mattered was the mushrooms, and her new best friend---daddy---Jared. Then they were spinning, the sound of screeching rubber against the asphalt cutting across the air. “What?” She turned to Jared, “what was that about a moose statue?” She didn’t know what moose had to do with mushrooms, or with theft, but who was she to argue with Jared. "This is fun!" She yelled at him, until her eyes flickered to the clock. It was late, when had it gotten so late? Morgan would worry. And then there was the mushrooms, how had she allowed herself to get inside the fairy ring? Morgan would be mad. Deirdre frowned, and did what any sensible woman would do in her position: jumped out of the spinning car. She rolled across the asphalt, paying no mind to her cuts and scrapes. "I need to go home!" She told Jared, stepping back from the car. "I parked nearby! I'll just drive back!" 

One moment she was beside him screaming and laughing and the next she was gone. All Jared had done was blink, and then she’d vanished. He halted the cop car as fast as he could but his reaction times were just not with him that well. By the time he’d slowed to a stop she was on her feet and walked backwards away from him. He didn’t quite understand why she wanted to leave all of a sudden but if she is leaving his top priority was to go back to the party and find something fun to do. He raised a hand and gave her a beaming smile. “NICE MEETING YOU.” he called, and because of the mushroom daze he was in he didn’t give her any more thought. She was leaving and that meant he had to find a new person to have fun with. He drove home for that very reason, not looking back.

[broken-clover]

AU-gust Day 11- Farm

I return with more ridiculousness!

I will admit I am not a total expert on Sonic Lore, but I played Sonic Heroes growing up and I love Big the Cat (I mean, dude loves frogs, it’s only natural) so this might be a bit bizarre compared to the rest of what I have so far, but here’s a quick Sonic fic with team Rose being good buddies!

Amy hadn’t been expecting to spot a familiar face on the train, but it was a delightful surprise to spot a familiar pair of floppy tan ears, with an upbeat chao circling around them.

“Hey, Cream!” She stuck a hand up in the air and waved as she approached the younger girl. “Long time no see!”

“Miss Amy? Hello!” After a brief moment of confusion, Cream smiled and waved back, with Cheese bobbing excitedly and kicking his little feet. “Are you heading to Mystic Ruins, too?”

“Huh? Yeah, that’s exactly where I’m headed, how did you know?” Amy tilted her head and pulled an envelope from her bag. “I got this invitation…”

“Me too!” Cream smiled, pulling out an identical one. “How exciting! Yours is from Mr. Big as well, isn’t it?”

“That’s right. I wonder what he’s up to? It sounded like he was excited to show us whatever it was that he’s been working on.”

Amy pulled the letter out of its sleeve and unfolded it so she could read it again. She had seen his handwriting before, so it was clear to her that he had been insistent on writing their letters slowly and carefully to make them look nice. It seemed that this, whatever it was, was very important to him, and he wanted his friends to see it.

‘Dear Amy, it read, in thick black letters. ’I’ve been working on something very cool! And you are a very good friend. I want you to come see it, please! Please come to Mystic Ruins next tuesday, I will wait at the train station so I can show you! I hope you like it!

-Big the Cat’

“Any ideas what his ‘something cool’ might be, Cream?”

“Hmm…” The rabbit tapped at her chin, with Cheese mimicking her. “He’s a fisherman, maybe he caught a very large fish that he wants to show us?”

“That might be it. Maybe he’s gonna make dinner out of it!”

“I suppose we’ll find out very soon, won’t we? It shouldn’t be much longer to the station.”

The two girls spent the rest of their short trip chatting about what they’d been up to. It didn’t feel like there had been much of a wait when an announcement came over the intercom.

“Mystic Ruins station, we are approaching Mystic Ruins station. Please do not attempt to exit the train until it has come to a complete stop and the doors have been fully opened. Have a nice day!”

“Oh! Cream, this is our stop!” Amy took her smaller companion by the hand and led her out onto the platform once the train had stopped. As soon as they did, both girls spotted a familiar figure at the bottom of the stairs.

“Mr. Big!” Cream fluttered down, trailed by Cheese and Amy.

“Nice to see ya!” Amy flashed him a smile and a wave. “Glad we didn’t show up too early.”

“You came!!” Big threw his arms around the girls and pulled them into a tight, warm hug. In one hand, he held what appeared to be a pile of straw tangled together.

“Of course we came!” Replied Amy. “We’re excited to see that big surprise you were talking about!”

“Daw, well I’m super excited to show you! I’ve been working really hard on it!” When he finally let them go, he dropped the strange thing in his hands on their heads.

“Huh? What’s this?” The hedgehog pulled the object off to get a better look at it. “Is this a hat?”

“Yeah-huh! Straw hats are super important!” Big’s tail wagged behind him in excitement. “Let’s go! I really want to show you!”

The two obliged, though they were undeniably curious, both regarding their destination and the peculiar straw hats. They had to have some sort of relevance, but nothing came to mind- well, maybe that wasn’t necessarily true. As they began to wander a beaten path into the thickets, the waxy leaves dripped moisture, and Amy noticed that she never noticed any water fall down her back with the hat’s brim in the way. Maybe that was it?

“Are we going to your house, Big?” Amy asked, realizing that the route was familiar.

“Sorta!” He replied with a good-natured chuckle. “It’s right by it.”

Cream bounded up to him, with little flaps to help her jump. “Mr. Big, can I ask a question?”

“Yuh-huh!”

“Where is Froggy? Isn’t he usually with you?”

Amy couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed. They both knew how much Big absolutely adored his small friend. Why wasn’t Froggy with him?

For a moment, both girls wondered if their companion’s bright mood was going to be immediately soured by the fact that he’d misplaced his beloved friend again. But to their surprise, Big continued to smile, and laughed once again.

“You’re really good at guessing, Cream! Really good!”

Neither of them were entirely sure what he was trying to convey. Especially with the steadily increasing sounds of something in the distance. But it wasn’t a confusion that lasted long. The tall plants gave way to a neat little clearing where the man’s humble shack stood- but it was immediately apparent that some renovations had been made. A little barnhouse had been built into it, and neat little fences had been erected around a couple of nearby ponds.

“A farm!” Cream chirped with glee. “Mr. Big, your house is a farm!”

Well, that sort of explained the hats. Amy suddenly realized what the odd noises were. “Not just any farm...it’s a frog farm!”

“Heehee!” Big seemed equally excited. “Surprise! I was making a little house for Froggy, but then it kept getting bigger and bigger!”

He led them to the small barnhouse. A good portion of it was devoted to another small pond, where several frogs relaxed on lilypads and let out melodic croaks. “Froggy! Hello!” Big scooped up a familiar specimen and held it out to his guests. “Froggy has a lot of friends now. An’ I feed them and take good care of them!”

“They’re soooo cute!” Cream said. “I used to think frogs were a little creepy, but you really showed me how cute they can be, Mr. Big!”

“All frogs are good frogs.” Big nodded. “You two can hold them, but wash your hands first! Dirty hands are bad for frogs and it makes them sick!”

There were a pair of spigots built into the wall over a little basin. “I guess it makes sense for a lot of frogs to live here.” Said Amy, as she began scrubbing her hands clean. “It’s so damp out in Mystic Ruins, they probably like it here!”

“I can’t imagine what it would be like, being wet all the time.” Said Cream. “But I guess I’m not a frog. They probably don’t know what it’s like having fur all over them, either.”

“There is a kind of frog that has hair!” Big piped up from the other end of the barn, where he was sitting with Froggy. “It’s not really hair, though. Just looks like it. It also has tiny claws!” When the girls came back, he stood back up and ushered them towards the water. “Holding frogs is kinda hard the first couple times, but I’ll help you!”

Big scooped one off of a lilypad. The animal seemed completely unfazed by it, and simply let itself be held. He offered it to Cream. “Here! This one is very calm, he will sit still for you!”

“Woah, they really are all smooth and slimy…” Cream’s expression was a mix of fascination and faint unease. “Am I holding him right?”

“Yeah-huh! Keep up the good work!” After making sure the frog was secure, Big bent over the water again and scooped up another frog. “Amy, here’s one for you!”

She had gone in expecting to be completely fine with the whole thing, but as soon as she felt the wet stickiness of it, she squeaked in panic and flinched back. “It feels weird!”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Big said, though he still looked disappointed.

Amy steeled herself. “No, I can do it! I can do it.”

“Okay.” He tried holding it out to her again. Amy lifted her hands to accept the frog...only for it to jump and stick to her face.

“EEK!” She shrieked, only barely stopping herself from swatting the thing clean off. “It’s on me! It’s on me!”

“Hold still! I’ve got it.” With a couple of attempts, Big managed to take it off, and he held onto the frog carefully to keep it from hopping off.

Cream gave an empathetic wince. “Sorry, Miss Amy. Are you okay?”

“M’sorry about that.” Said Big, placing the frog back in the water. “That doesn’t usually happen.”

Amy’s expression was blank and unreadable. A bit of slime plastered the bangs to her eyes. After a moment, a faint smile twitched at the end of her lip.

“Heh...ehehe...hahahaha!” Despite the mess, Amy began to laugh, smiling brightly. “I guess that means it likes me!”

[noona-clock]

Look After You

Genre: Regency!AU/Single Parent!AU

Pairing: Choi Minho x You (Female Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of death and some mature themes

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,642

“Wow,” Caroline breathed, her nose pressed to the window of the carriage as her breath fogged up the glass. 

Your eldest daughter, now just about six, had slid away from you to the other end of the bench seat when she’d seen the large manor home come into view. She lived in a rather vast estate house herself, so it’s not like she’d never seen a house of that size before, but... When you saw the grand Jacobean-style architecture, all the columns and parapets and round-arch arcades, you were a bit breathless, as well.

“Let me see, Mama!” your youngest, Louisa, cried as she scrambled off your lap to slide over to the other window. The three-year-old rose up on her knees, placing her hands on the glass on either side of her small face and let out a very amazed-sounding gasp.

“It’s a beautiful house, isn’t it, darlings?” you remarked with a grin, keeping a close eye on both of them in case the carriage rolled over a particularly bumpy rock and knocked them off their seats.

“This is where Aunt Abigail is getting married?” Caroline asked, her eyes still glued to the mansion in the distance.

“It is,” you confirmed. “Her husband-to-be lives here. Well, sometimes. He has a house in London, too, but this house is much bigger and better for a large wedding.”

“And prettier,” Louisa added.

It was quite true. The grandiose manor was surrounded by acres and acres of rolling hills and green pastures and lush farmland and colorful gardens. As you had admitted to yourself just moments ago, it was absolutely breathtaking.

In fact, it was so breathtaking you were beginning to feel a knot of emotion forming in your throat.

...Or maybe that was the fact you were thinking about your younger sister getting married.

You were happy for her, of course. More than happy. She’d found true love and happiness in her fiancé, Onew. It didn’t matter that he was a Duke; Abigail had met him at a London ball and fallen madly in love -- and he with her. What was there to not be happy about?

...Okay, there was something. A little something to not be happy about.

Your younger sister getting married reminded you that you no longer were. Married, that is.

You had been, of course; you had two daughters, after all. It’s just that your husband had passed away over two years ago; he’d been ill for most of his life, and he had succumbed to it before he’d even turned thirty. Before your eldest daughter had even turned four and your youngest had even turned one.

Life can be so cruel sometimes.

You shook your head softly, mentally reminding yourself not to get too lost in your own grief because this was a happy occasion! Your sister was getting married, and she was as blissful as you’d ever seen her.

Plus, two years was enough time to not be totally overcome by your loss. You were out of the mourning period and had been for quite some time. You had your daughters to look after. And, for now, you had your family to look after you.

Caroline and Louisa continued to ooh and ahh and squeal as the carriage trundled ever closer to the manor home.

“Look, Mama!” Caroline gasped, glancing at you over her shoulder. “It’s Aunt Abigail! She’s waiting outside for us!”

Now it was your turn to slide down the bench toward the window. You picked up Louisa and set her on your lap again, craning your neck to peer out the window above Caroline.

Sure enough, there was your younger sister, jumping up and down and waving her arms about. She then stopped, turning toward her husband-to-be standing behind her and grasping his arm in excitement.

You could see from here that he smiled down at her, a warm and loving smile full of adoration.

And, oh, were you glad. Your sister was very dear to you; there was no way you could have let her marry a man who loved her less than Onew did.

The carriage conveying your mother, father, and two younger brothers was ambling along in front of you, and you watched as it slowed to a stop in front of the manor’s main entrance, where Abigail and Onew were waiting. Your driver was not far behind, and as soon as the footman opened the door, your girls jumped down and ran to greet their favorite aunt (their only aunt - while you had only one sister, you had four brothers. Choosing a favorite uncle was always a challenge for Caroline and Louisa, for they all spoiled them considerably).

“Hello, my dearest ones!” you heard Abigail cry, and you alighted from the carriage just in time to see her scoop them into her arms and hug them tightly. “Are you excited to be here? Isn’t this house grand and miraculous?”

“Hello, darling,” you heard a deep voice murmur next to you. 

A small smile immediately tugged at your lips as you felt your father’s hand come to rest in-between your shoulder blades.

“Papa,” you greeted after turning your head to look at him.

“How was your journey?” he asked with a slightly furrowed brow.

“It was the same as yours,” you chuckled. “We all came from the same place, remember?”

After your husband had died, your family had insisted upon moving you back to the estate where you grew up, where your parents and two younger brothers still lived.

Your husband had been a Viscount, but since you had not produced a male heir, his younger cousin inherited the title and everything which went along with it -- including your house. You’d lost everything, even your husband, in the blink of an eye.

You enjoyed living with your family, of course. Caroline and Louisa did, too -- probably more than you since their uncles and grandparents doted on them so.

But you’d had a taste of independent living while you’d been married. You’d had a taste of running your own home and being a Viscountess with duties and responsibilities. So, living back at home with your family, feeling like you had to obey your parents’ rules... it felt constricting at times.

The new Viscount had just recently made you a very generous offer, though, one which you knew you would have to accept: you and your daughters could live in one of the farmhouses located on his country estate, one much like Onew’s, without having to pay rent or do any actual farm labor.

You hadn’t told anyone about it, though; you were planning on waiting until after the wedding to break the news.

After everyone had greeted and hugged each other, Onew invited your family inside, even taking Caroline and Louisa by the hand and walking in with them.

The breathlessness you’d experienced in the carriage upon seeing just the outside of the manor returned in full force when you stepped inside the manor. It was more luxurious and grand than any home you’d been to, including your own. Your father was a Duke, the same as Onew, but even his family estate didn’t quite measure up to this.

Onew began leading your family in a tour of the house, though he assured you he wouldn’t take you into every room. There had to be at least two hundred of them, so a full tour would take the whole day!

He showed you the sitting room, the parlor, the drawing room, the library, the dining room, and the study. When you reached the main staircase, you heard your sister’s delighted voice call out a name.

“Minho!”

You had just been distracted by an enormous, beautiful painting hung up in the hall, but the sound of that name made your gaze snap to attention.

Minho.

You had completely forgotten.

Your eyes landed on a tall but muscular frame, his long legs trotting down the stairs in front of you. But then his smile caught your eye, and you nearly fall back onto the floor. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen a grin so bright and friendly, a face so handsome...

Besides that of your husband’s, of course.

Obviously.

The excitement of seeing your sister had totally overshadowed the fact that Minho, your late husband’s former best friend from boarding school, was Onew’s younger brother. You had never met him before since he and your husband had fallen out of touch after graduating onto university, but you had been friends with your husband since childhood. He had told you about his boarding school adventures with Minho in his letters, so you knew all about him. 

Rather, you knew all about him as an adolescent.

You didn’t know much about him as an adult... though, you’d heard things.

Lots of things.

And none of them were very good.

If the society rumors were true, the death of the former Duke and Duchess (Minho and Onew’s parents) had taken quite a toll of him. He had been in University at the time, and he had dropped out soon afterward. He’d -- allegedly -- made his way to London where he’d spent every night drunk, gambling, and in the arms of a new woman.

...At least, that’s what you’d heard.

Whether or not it was actually true remained to be seen.

Looking at his face, you would find it hard to believe he hadn’t been in the arms of a new woman every night.

And now, of course, your cheeks were warming just thinking about that.

“This is my younger brother, Minho,” Onew introduced as Minho reached the bottom of the stairs. “This is Abigail’s... entire family, pretty much. Except for Gabriel and Jacob, whom you met when they arrived with their families yesterday.”

Ah, that’s right! Your two older brothers were already here; you hadn’t seen them in months since they both had their own wives and children. Caroline and Louisa would certainly be pleased to see their cousins.

“Very pleased to meet you,” Minho responded as he reached out to shake your father’s hand.

And then, quite unexpectedly, Minho turned to you, pointing a finger and quirking an eyebrow at you. “I know you.”

Your head jerked back slightly in surprise, and everyone standing in the hall turned to look at you.

“You -- you do?”

“Well, I know -- knew -- your husband.”

To be frank, you were quite amazed he remembered.

“Ah, yes,” you replied with a breathless chuckle. “Yes, I believe you did.”

It looked as though he were about to step up to you, maybe take hold of your hand and clutch it to his chest as a show of sympathy. But your eldest interrupted before he had the chance.

“You knew my Papa?” Caroline asked in a small voice, her little eyebrows raised.

Minho’s own eyebrows raised, and he turned away from you to face your daughter.

You were about to intervene and scold Caroline for being impolite, but Minho almost immediately crouched down to be face-to-face with her. He reached out and took her hand from Onew’s, holding it delicately.

“Yes, I did,” he answered gently. “We went to school together when we were younger. I didn’t know he had a daughter.”

Caroline simply nodded, and you saw her cheeks growing pink.

“What’s your name?” Minho asked.

“Caroline,” your daughter replied with a nod. And then she nodded her head toward her younger sister. “And that’s Louisa.”

Minho looked over to Louisa, and you heard the grin in his voice when he said, “He has two daughters?”

Louisa nodded shyly before stepping behind Onew’s legs.

“She’s scared of new people,” Caroline explained in her typical know-it-all voice.

“Am not!” Louisa retorted with a deep frown.

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

Oh, boy. What a lovely first impression your daughters were making on Minho.

“Girls, please --” you began, taking a step toward them.

But then Minho quickly picked Caroline up, hoisting her on his waist and standing up. “If she’s shy, then we won’t bother her,” he said. “Would you like to go see the playroom?”

Caroline gasped, suddenly clutching onto Minho’s neck and nodding vigorously.

“But I want to go, too!” Louisa piped in. She then looked over at you, and you took it as your cue to get involved.

“Come, my darling,” you said softly, stepping over there and taking her hand. “Let’s go with them. We’ll probably find your cousins up there.”

“Are those little mongrels your cousins?” Minho asked teasingly.

Of course, all the way up to the playroom on the second floor, Caroline and Louisa giggled with delight at Minho calling their cousins ‘mongrels.’ By the time you and Minho reached the door, they were scrambling to get down and share the news with Gabriel’s three sons and Jacob’s son and daughter, all under the age of ten.

“Thank you, My Lord,” you murmured after Caroline and Louisa dashed into the room yelling their cousins’ names.

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” he replied with a charming grin.

“No, truly,” you urged. “It was very kind of you to be so nice to my girls. I know it’s been years since you even talked to my husband -- late husband.”

Minho turned slightly toward you, though he still stayed a proper distance away from you. “I was so very sorry to hear about his untimely passing,” he said quietly. “I... At that moment, I regretted immensely not ever reaching back out to him or going to your wedding or --”

“There’s nothing can be done now,” you reminded him gently, feeling your brow furrow.

“Right, of course,” Minho said, a forced smile tugging at his lips. “Please do accept my condolences and sincerest sympathies.”

You nodded and dipped down into a small curtsy. “Thank you, My Lord. They are much appreciated.”

Minho suddenly jumped to attention and turned toward you fully, extending his hand out to you. “I am so sorry, we have not even properly met.”

You somewhat cautiously slid your hand into his, and he bowed his head over it before saying, “I’m Minho. Please, you can call me by name if you’d like since we’ve indirectly known each other for years.”

“Nice to finally meet you, My Lord,” you replied, purposely not using his first name. You were not so bold as to do that. “I am Y/N, though you may call me Miss Y/L/N or My Lady.” Your father was a Duke, so you still had that title, at least.

Minho’s lips quirked into an amused smirk as if to say ‘All right, I get it.’ 

“Yes, M’lady,” he murmured. “It is quite a pleasure to meet you. I heard so much about you at boarding school.”

“Did you?” you asked with some embarrassment.

Minho nodded, looking a bit too pleased with himself. “He read most of your letters out loud and talked about you constantly.”

Oh, it hurt your heart to hear that.

And, much to your chagrin, you felt your eyes fill with tears.

“Did he?” you asked, your lips pulling into a watery grin.

“He did,” Minho confirmed with a very warm and compassionate expression on his face, in his eyes. “I always wanted to meet you. It took a while, but... I’m glad I finally did.”

Well.

Considering the rumors about his past, you weren’t entirely sure what to think about his feelings toward meeting you, but...

You would hold off judgment. For now.

Just thinking about the way he crouched down to speak to Caroline, how he picked her up with no hesitation, how he offered to show your girls to the playroom...

It was the first time your heart had melted - just a little - since your late husband’s death had frozen it.

That had to account for something.

Part 2

[seanfalco]

I saw pictures of Sheehan with dogs/puppies and now I want to know what Aevryn would do if Valdo surprised her with a puppy as like an anniversary gift or part of proposing or somethig? Or if it doesn't work for you vision cus cute fluffy pets aren't punk or he's a cat person, maybe something with Valdo and the reader and a dog? If you want, ya know. Or just so you know those pictures exist and can drive yourself mad deciding which is cuter him or the baby dog.

Fandom: The Witcher Punk!AU

Pairing: Punk!Valdo x oc (Aevryn Swift) / Platonic!Valdo x Reader

Word Count: 1732

Rating: G

Taglist: @ficsandcatsandficsandcats @nevadawolfe @magic-multicolored-miracle @coffee-and-stories @whatevermonkey

a/n: Bless nonny, this was so cute and just what I needed.  (Also fluffy pets are hella punk rock ;p)  Also also guhhh Robert + dogs *heart eyes*

Aevryn always looked so beautiful in sleep, her usual vibrant exuberance melting to peaceful vulnerability, and as Valdo watched her, her chest rising and falling softly, his fingers combing through her wavy hair, he felt he might drown in the depth of his affection for her.  

It had been nearly a year since she’d given him a second chance and they were happier than ever; each day a new opportunity for him to prove he deserved it.  However each day it also became harder for him to keep holding back the proposal that he’d already planned in minute detail, wanting every part of it to be absolutely perfect – which was why it was crucial for him to wait just a bit longer.  

In the meantime though that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something just as special for their anniversary.

Aevryn stirred in her sleep, and half awake pulled him closer, not articulate enough to chastise him for watching her but knowing she wanted him near, and he settled in without complaint, a smile on his lips as his soft curls pressed against her cheek.

——

Valdo Marx was always fashionably late, so when he’d asked you to meet him at eleven, you knew he wouldn’t actually arrive until closer to eleven twenty, and sure enough there he was, right on time.

“Ah, [Y/N], I hope you weren’t waiting long,” he exclaimed as he crossed the street, pushing his sunglasses up into his mess of hair and greeting you with a slightly awkward hug.

“So what is this terribly important task you need my help with?” you asked, a grin tugging at your lips as Valdo shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, I actually need your help picking out a gift for Aev,” he admitted, and you gaped at him with surprise.

Certainly he would know Aevryn’s tastes a little better than you – it wasn’t as if you weren’t her friend as well, it was just that Valdo had known her considerably longer, and besides, the man usually gave such lavish presents that you doubted how much help you’d be.

“Uhm, okay, what sort of gift?” you asked, trying to get an idea of what you were working with here.

“I want to get her a dog, well, a puppy to be precise,” he answered, “she’s always wanted one.”

“Wouldn’t that be something you should pick out together?” you wondered aloud and Valdo frowned, thick brows drawing together.

“I suppose, but I wanted to surprise her.  Our second first anniversary is swiftly approaching and Aev’s not exactly big on jewelry,” he explained.  “Though there is one piece of jewelry I think, well, I hope she’ll like,” he muttered and your eyes grew, a mischievous smile lighting up your face.

“In the shape of a ring perhaps?” you pressed.

Valdo’s rueful expression gave him away and you gasped in excitement.  “Do you already have it?”

“Would you like to see it?” he asked, and you were already nodding your head aggressively.

He chuckled at your enthusiasm and reached into the depths of his coat pocket, pulling out a little velvet box, snapping it open as you leaned in closer.  The delicate engagement ring nestled inside the box was obviously finely crafted, the band designed to look like a sliver twig and the modest diamond topping it glittered in the sunlight; a matching stackable wedding band accompanied it, decorated with a tiny silver leaf.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, glancing up to catch a glimpse of the pride in Valdo’s bottle green eyes.  “She’s going to love it.”

Clearing his throat Valdo closed the box and carefully returned it to its hiding place.  “Thank you,” he exclaimed, practically beaming.  “I certainly hope so.”

“Just how long have you been carrying that around?” you queried, cocking an amused eyebrow at him and Valdo flushed, glancing away.

“Only a couple months,” he muttered sheepishly.

Stifling your laughter behind your hand you decided to stop your teasing.  “Okay!  So, puppies,” you announced, clapping your hands together to change the subject.  “Does Aev have a favourite breed?” you asked, getting down to business.

“Uhh…” Valdo looked lost.  “Our neighbor when we were children had this shaggy golden beast that Aev was particularly fond of.

Having a feeling you knew which dog he was talking about you brought up a photo on your phone.  “Is this it?” you asked and Valdo’s eyes lit up with recognition.

“Yes, that’s exactly it.”

“That’s a golden retriever.” 

“Perfect!” he exclaimed, “So where do we get one?”

——

Having steered him away from any pet shops that no doubt sold puppies from puppy farms, you walked into the local animal shelter, warning him that he might not find a golden retriever, but that another dog in need of a home might catch his eye and Valdo agreed anyway, eager to scope out the canine selection.  It wasn’t long before Valdo’s delighted gasps could be heard at every new kennel he passed, though his discerning eye kept him moving on.

“Hmm,” you mused, glancing around, “it doesn’t look like they have any golden retrievers here, would you like to try somewhere else?”

Your question was met with silence.

“Valdo?”

That’s when you saw him, a little french bulldog clutched in his arms happily licking his face as Valdo laughed delightedly.

“[Y/N]!” he cried, turning to you.  “I think I’m in love!  Look at how cute he is!”

You couldn’t help the laugh that burst from your lips and you quickly snapped a photo to show Aevryn later, certain she would want to see this.

“[Y/N], do you think Aev will like him?” he asked, smiling down at the wiggly dog in his arms.  “Or should I keep looking…?”  He asked, clearly depressed by the thought.  “I mean, clearly he’s not a golden retriever…”

Valdo trailed off and your heart almost broke at the crestfallen expression that crossed his face as he put the dog down.

“Hey,” you said, quickly placing your hand on his shoulder.  “Y’know, goldens get pretty big and neither you nor Aev have ever had a dog before, why don’t you start out small while you learn the ropes and then you can always pick out a golden puppy together later?”

Your words seemed to make up his mind and Valdo’s grin returned.  “Yes, that sounds like sound reasoning to me.  Did you hear that little guy?  I think you’re the one,” he addressed the dog, who gazed up at him with his little tongue lolling.

As Valdo carried the dog out to the car, happy as a clam, you couldn’t help but smile as well, wishing you could be there to see Aev’s face when she saw him.

“Okay, now we have to get everything he might need.  And only the best!”

“Are you going to name him or let Aevryn do the honors?”

“Oh, I’m letting Aev choose his name.  He is my gift to her after all.”

Sure, you thought as you watched him fuss over the little bulldog.  As if he wasn’t already completely enamored himself.

——

As sneaky as possible Valdo set the dog up in one of the spare rooms, hoping against hope it wouldn’t bark and ruin his surprise until he was ready for the big reveal.  He barely slept through the night, constantly checking in on the little guy.

The next morning Valdo woke early, carefully extricating himself from Aevryn’s arms to get breakfast started and to let the puppy out. 

Soon he was carrying a tray piled high with all of Aev’s favourite breakfast food back to the bedroom and setting it on the dresser before crawling back in bed to wake her with a kiss.

Aevryn hummed, pulling him closer.  “Something smells amazing,” she murmured, a soft moan slipping through her parted lips as Valdo continued to trail kisses along her jaw and neck; his curls brushing her skin as he moved.

“Happy second first anniversary,” he said softly, peering into her eyes before capturing her lips in another firmer kiss.

Aevryn laughed, wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug.  “I can’t believe it’s already been a year,” she replied, never wanting to let go.  “Knowing you, I have a feeling you have all sorts of things planned for today.”

Loosening her grasp she let him pull back.  “Of course, love,” he purred, “starting with breakfast in bed, and then I have a little surprise for you.”

“Oh?” Aev asked, tilting her head to watch him get up and bring the tray of delicious smelling food over.  She could remember when he could barely make scrambled eggs without burning them and now he was making crepes and eggs and bacon and toast all on his own.

Breakfast was followed inevitably with a steamy repeat of what had happened the night before and Aev whined as afterwards Valdo slipped out of her arms and out of bed to retrieve her surprise, placing the puppy in a large box with a bow for the quick trip across the house.  When he returned to the bedroom he was met with a pout which swiftly turned to curiosity as she eyed the box in his hands.

“What, pray-tell is that?” she asked, crawling closer as he set the present on the bed.

“Open it,” he prompted, crawling back under the covers next to her.

Eyeing him excitedly she pulled the lid off and covered her gasp with her hand, a high-pitched squeal still escaping as the puppy looked up at her with his big brown eyes.

“Valdooooo,” she cried, pulling the dog out of the box to hold in her arms.  “Did you really get us a puppy for our anniversary?”

The pleased smirk that crossed his face only grew as the puppy wriggled excitedly, licking Aevryn’s face to her shrieks of laughter.

“I take it you like him?”

“Like him?  I love him!  He’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!”  Aev exclaimed, throwing herself and the puppy into Valdo’s arms.  Landing amongst their pillows in a heap, the puppy barking excitedly, Valdo laughed, pressing a kiss to Aev’s temple.

“I’m glad, love.”

“What’s his name?” she asked, stroking his little nose with her finger as he settled on top of Valdo’s chest.

“I figured you could name him.”

Scrunching up her nose in thought Aev suddenly smiled.  “You look like a Romeo to me.”  

[wittyy-name]

June’s Third Patreon Exclusive Oneshot is Now Available

As part of the Special Offer I hosted in June, every patron of the $35 tier got to give me a prompt for a oneshot. These oneshots will then be patreon exclusive and available for all patrons for $3 and up.

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Klance - Accidental Marriage au - 12,100 words It’s been years since the war, years since Voltron disbanded, and years since Keith took over the Blade. Voltron’s mission, however, is not over. The Atlas now travels around the universe, keeping the peace, cleaning up the wreckage, and convincing planets to join the Voltron Coalition Universe Peace Treaty. And sometimes, those planets like to host celebrations to commemorate the alliance with none other than the legendary paladins. 

It’s as good of an excuse as any for them to see each other, and Keith will take any opportunity to see Lance again. It’s been years, and this pesky crush of his has yet to fade.

But when a misunderstanding leads to him and Lance agreeing to get married, the two of them agree to roll with it to avoid offending their hosts. Keith tries to remind himself that this doesn’t have to be weird. They’re friends, they’re close, and they can play pretend for a few days.

But as it turns out, being this close to Lance doesn’t actually feel weird at all. It feels… right.

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If you want access to this oneshot, many others like it, drabbles, early access to chapters, outlines, and other rewards, please check out my Patreon!

Reblogs appreciated! Excerpt Below…

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[ E X C E R P T ]

The air is forced from Keith’s lungs in an agonizing rush as Lance does, actually, end up putting Keith on his back.

Keith wheezes, back arching slightly, vision going gray at the edges for just a moment. There’s pain at the back of his head, but he knows from experience that it’s not too severe. His own staff ends up rolling out of his hand as his grip loosens, and after the initial shock of the fall subsides, his body relaxes.

Then Lance is towering over him. One foot planted triumphantly on his chest. One end of his staff grazing Keith’s throat. His smirk is deadly. A shot right through Keith’s pounding heart. Lance’s chest heaves with every breath, and Keith’s own matches pace beneath the sole of Lance’s boot.

Truthfully, Lance had fought well. Really well, in fact. He’d surprised Keith completely, catching him off guard. And while Keith is usually used to keeping a level head during fights, always expecting the unexpected, that apparently doesn’t extend to the times when it’s his crush that’s proving himself a worthy adversary.

Because Lance? He was a good fighter back in the days of Voltron. He might have been ranged most of the time, but he was good. He was quick. He thought fast and kept on his toes. He was creative and wild, and moved on instinct. Much like Keith. He always thought training one-on-one with Lance would be fun, and he’s always regretted that he didn’t really get the chance.

He thought for sure Lance would have lost some of that after the war. After all, he spent at least a year on his family’s farm. But Lance hadn’t been kidding when he said he kept up training and kept in shape.

He’s looks good. Really good.

He fought hard, and it shows. He’s come so far, and he’s clearly proud of himself. Not in a haughty way, but in a way that’s less cocky and more filled with genuine delight at having laid Keith out, that Keith can’t really be mad.

And… okay, granted, he’s in a really bad position right now. It would take next to nothing for Keith to grab his foot and take him down, quickly reversing their positions. Lance’s dramatic flare and excitement have led him to pose, which has left him vulnerable to an opponent who’s down but not out.

But… he looks so happy, and Keith isn’t the hot headed brat he used to be. He can let Lance have this.

So when Keith uses the end of his staff to tap the underside of Keith’s chin, forcing him to expose more of his neck, smirk widening as he says, “Give up?”

He rolls his eyes, lets his hands rest on the ground by his head, and replies, “Yeah, I yield.”

Lance’s grin? Absolutely blinding.  His laugh as he tosses his head back? Fucking music to his ears.

Lance steps back, removing his staff and holding out a hand for Keith. He takes it, letting Lance pull him to his feet. He staggers a step, still a little dazed and dizzy, and he’s not sure if that has to do with the fall he took or the effect Lance has on him.

“Whoa there,” Lance says softly, putting a hand on his waist to steady him. His smile fades a fraction, brows furrowing as genuine concern leaks into his bravado. “You okay? Did you hit your head?”

“I’m fine,” Keith says, offering him a small smile. “That was a dirty trick though.”

Lance scoffs. “You once told me that it’s not dirty if you win.”

And, well, he’s got him there. Keith chuckles, offering Lance a hand. Lance takes it, the two of them clasping forearms. “Good fight, Lance.”

He doesn’t realize how silent the crowd has been until suddenly it’s deafening. The audience roars to life, loud enough to make him flinch. Truth be told, everything had faded during the match, leaving only him and Lance.

But their little moment isn’t as private as Keith had imagined. He steps away, heat crawling at the back of his neck, up to his ears.

“Congratulations!” Booms a voice. He doesn’t know where the announcer is, but their voice had also announced the start of their match, echoing around the stadium

The council members are all their feet, clapping their hands. Their friends are too, wearing expressions that hold varying degrees of excitement and worry. Which is… strange. Beside him, Lance is grinning, turning in a half circle and waving.

“The challenged has submitted to the challenger! The proposal has been accepted! Tomorrow we celebrate the union of the red and blue paladins of Voltron! Who have now joined us in celebration of unity and joined our ranks of newly mated pairs. We are honored that they have chosen us to host their wedding ceremony. May their lives together be happy and prosperous!”

Keith stiffens, and in the corner of his eye, he sees Lance freeze. Slowly, they turn to face each other, grins fading as confusion sweeps in, eyes wide with mounting panic.

Mated pairs?

Proposal?

“Keith,” Lance says slowly, so softly, and yet Keith can hear him clearly in the roar from the crowd. He’s always been able to pick Lance’s voice out of a crowd. He watches as Lance swallows hard. Watches as he licks his lips, glancing nervously at the crowd. “Did we… just get married?”

[bitterling]

Pokemon Sun and Moon

Kiawe/Ash, very slowly

100% PG, SFW, etc.

Some spoilers for 2nd season SuMo - I tried to keep it vague but they're still there

ao3 version -> link <-

-

We're the Last to Know

CHAPTER ONE

After all the recent events, the simple act of making deliveries was incredibly soothing. Ultra Beasts,  Ultra Guardians, wormholes, Ultra dimensions, Solgaleo and Lunala, the Blinding One… whenever he tried to consider everything that happened a part of him balked at how overwhelming it all was. This, though, this he knew – soaring above Alola on the back of his Charizard, the building warmth of another beautiful sunrise bathing him in golden light, familiar sounds and sights calming and centering him. The leathery rasp of Charizard’s wings as they sliced through the air, the occasional wet slosh of the Moomoo milk shifting in their bottles, the distant cries of Wingull as the Pokémon, too, began a new day.

His last stop was on Melemele Island, as usual, and afterwards he’d go to the Pokémon School. But for now he was content to set every responsibility and concern aside, to lean back and feel the warm breeze, wet from the sprawling ocean below, and to delight in the simplicity of the moment.

A short-lived simplicity, as always. A piercing cry from below snapped him back to reality and he urged Charizard a little lower, scanning as he tried to locate the source. He was almost above Melemele Island’s shores before he finally saw what was causing the commotion, and he couldn’t help but laugh, the sound shredded by the wind. Of course it was Ash. Lycanroc and Torracat were training on the shore, Ash and Pikachu standing to the side, and he watched as professor Kukui walked out towards them, mouth open as he called something Kiawe couldn’t hear. Ash turned to the professor and waved an acknowledgement, then turned back to call to Lycanroc and Torracat, Rowlet swooping in and perching comfortably on his shoulder. Kiawe urged Charizard to land but didn’t call out, a little curious when Ash would notice.

But Ash was clearly distracted and Charizard landed on the beach without the other boy noticing, any sound his bulk might make softened by the warm sand. Kukui smiled at him from the front porch, finally causing Ash to turn, his puzzled expression quickly transforming into a huge smile as he waved. “Alola, Kiawe!”

“Alola, Ash. Professor.” He hopped off Charizard, stroking its long, warm neck briefly before walking towards them – not that he really needed to, as Ash was already rushing over. “And Alola to you too, Lycanroc, Torracat, Rowlet, and Pikachu.” An assortment of small noises met his greeting as the other Pokémon gathered around Charizard, greeting him as well. Charizard rumbled his approval and even bent down to nuzzle Torracat and Lycanroc, the former falling over sideways at the unintentional strength of his greeting, a grumpy meow the only complaint as Torracat stretched and settled into the warm sand as if it’d been intending to the whole time. 

“Out making deliveries?” Kukui called from the porch, Burnett coming out behind him and waving. Kiawe waved back, then nodded at Kukui’s question.

“Just one more, then I’ll be going to the school.” He reached down to pet Lycanroc as it came up to greet him, smiling at the affection. “Honestly, I’m just happy to be doing something normal today.”

“What, you don’t want every day to be an impossible adventure?” Kukui asked, his smile belying the statement. Kiawe laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t blame you, it’s been a little much. Good to be getting back to basics.”

“Where’s your last delivery?” Ash asked, as enthusiastic as the first day they’d met. It was amazing how this kid never seemed to be at anything less than 100%.

“Mallow’s restaurant, actually.” Ash’s excitement was obvious, so Kiawe decided to beat him to the punch. “Wanna come? We’ll swing around to the school afterwards.”

“Yeah! Oh, wait- is that okay, professor?” Ash turned back to Kukui and Burnett, who each waved him on. Kiawe rolled his eyes – Ash was probably skipping some chore or other to do this, but if they were fine with it he wasn’t going to make a fuss. A distracted Ash was a danger to everyone, so he might as well just take him. “Great! Let’s go, Pikachu, Rotom  Dex!” The latter came flying towards them from inside the house, his display showing a nervous face.

“Wait, I’m coming, I’m coming!” 

Everything was always so much and so noisy when Ash was involved, but the professors seemed to like the situation, and Ash clearly loved being here, so it all worked out. Kiawe hopped up on Charizard first, holding his hand out to pull Ash up behind him, the other boy settling in comfortably. Lycanroc and Torracat stayed where they were, lounging on the beach, while Rowlet frantically rushed over to dive-bomb into Ash’s backpack, letting out a contented little chirp once it was comfortably ensconced. Pikachu hopped up on Ash’s shoulder, firmly braced, and Kiawe urged Charizard to fly.

Ash was amazingly silent while they took flight, Kiawe daring a glance back to see the other boy’s eyes closed, head tipped back like his had been; it made him smile and he faced forward before Ash opened his eyes and noticed. He was in the mood to just exist today, not explain. They made it most of the way to the restaurant before Ash spoke, and by the time it came it startled Kiawe a little bit, just enough to make his hands jump on the reins, but luckily Charizard didn’t react to it. “It’s so beautiful.” A slight pause, punctuated by a gusty sigh. “I didn’t think I’d ever be so grateful for the sun.”

“I know what you mean,” Kiawe admitted readily, because he absolutely did. Growing up on the farm, he’d always appreciated the power of the sunlight and how it applied to growth, how it provided for people and Pokémon alike, but this was a new appreciation, an appreciation simply that the light existed at all, that their world wasn’t cast into an endless shadow. After the Manalo festival, after the people and Pokémon had finally restored the Blinding One’s light, going back home to his family had felt a little strange. They understood, of course, as did all the people of Alola – but it was only the other Ultra Guardians who had experienced it, who he didn’t have to explain things to. They alone had seen what a world without light would become, they alone had seen the Poipole alone remaining, trying to hold onto a world that supported them no longer. They alone had seen what the fate of Alola might have been, and so they alone could appreciate the sunlight for exactly what it meant.

He was grateful when Mallow’s restaurant came into view, wanting to put his contemplations behind him and focus on the day. Charizard circled down slowly, finding an unoccupied area of the street in front of Mallow’s place to safely land, and Kiawe hopped off, Ash only a moment behind him. Without Kiawe needing to say anything Ash started undoing the straps holding the Moomoo milk on his side and, with a slight smile, Kiawe waited for him to pick up the heavy bottle. “Hey, thanks.” Ash grinned up at him, so cheery and bright that it pulled Kiawe right out of his weighty contemplations. 

“Alola, you two!” Mallow’s equally cheery greeting rang out as she approached, Tsareena walking steadily behind her.

“Alola, Mallow.” Kiawe greeted, Ash mumbling the same – apparently the weight of the Moomoo milk was beginning to get to him, so Kiawe rushed forward to hold open the restaurant’s door while Mallow stepped deftly out of the way, letting Ash lumber in and set the heavy bottle down with a big huff. Mallow giggled while Kiawe just grinned, Ash turning to them with a slightly sheepish expression as he rubbed at the back of his head. “How’s business today?”

“Oh, it’s been so hectic ever since the Manalo festival!” She gestured at the restaurant, which did seem fuller than usual for this early. “We even stayed open late last night. Well, my dad did – me and Tsareena were out like a light after everything that happened, weren’t we?” The Pokémon nodded affirmatively, pressing up against Mallow’s hand as she reached out to stroke the hard sepals on Tsareena’s head. “I’m looking forward to going back to school today, aren’t you guys?”

“I know I am,” Kiawe agreed, as Ash nodded fervently.

“Yeah! It’ll be fun.” Mallow met Kiawe’s eyes and they both smiled at Ash’s endless enthusiasm. 

“Well, me and Tsareena are on duty right now, but I’ll see both of you soon!” Mallow waved at them even as she rushed back inside the restaurant, helping her dad pick up the bottle of Moomoo milk and carry it to the back. Kiawe nodded at Ash and climbed up on Charizard’s back once more, Ash hopping on confidently before he could even offer a hand. And just like that they were on their way to school, like so many times before. Every normal thing Kiawe did today comforted him, but it was also a little bit surreal. He almost expected to wake up and find himself back in the shadowed Ultra dimension, or lost within the wormhole. Instead he and Ash were riding Charizard and going to school, just like so many other kids their age had done, were doing, and will do.

As the school came into view, it all began to feel a little more real. He was going to be with his classmates, his friends, and they’d all understand – and professor Kukui understood as well as the Aether Foundation. He was curious if the Poké Center beneath the school had been fully repaired yet, curious if today’s lesson would have anything to do with their adventures, curious if the Ultra Guardians would be called into action yet again. But for now all he could do was urge Charizard to land for a final time, hopping off and watching Ash follow suit, energetic even in dismounting. “Wonder what class is gonna be today,” Ash said, echoing Kiawe’s thoughts. He had a habit of doing that, and it often made Kiawe wonder whether Ash was good at reading him or if they just thought alike. 

“I’m not sure.” He hesitated before continuing, uncertain if he wanted to give so much away – but it wasn’t like when Ash had first come and Kiawe had attempted to keep some distance, now that they’ve been through so much together. “I hope it’s just a normal day. I really want a nice, normal day in Alola.” Ash nodded, surprising him a little.

“Me too. I mean, it’s all been so cool! So exciting!” There, that’s more what he expected from Ash. “But I really like the normal days. I think we could all use a break, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Kiawe agreed easily, shooting Ash a small smile. Ash, of course, responded with a massive grin. Just like normal – nice and comfortable.

“Alola!” It was Sophocles, Togedemaru held in his left hand as he waved with his right. Lana was with him and waved too, and Kiawe and Ash ran over to them, exchanging greetings. “Professor Kukui just got here, where have you two been?”

“I had deliveries this morning, and Ash helped with the last one at Mallow’s restaurant. She should be on her way soon.” Sophocles nodded, but Lana smiled knowingly at Kiawe, confusing him. What was all that about? He glanced at Ash, but the kid hadn’t noticed, preoccupied with Togedemaru rubbing her face all over Pikachu’s. The little sparks building up between them caused Kiawe to take a half-step back, just in case. He’d had quite enough of getting shocked by their affections, although he was happy that the two Pokémon were so close.

“Let’s go!” That was Lana, looking energetic as always. She pointed dramatically up to their classroom. “Who wants to climb up with me?” Climb? All three of them stared aghast at her until she stuck her tongue out. “Kidding.” Of course. Well, he’d wanted normal – for them, this was perfectly normal.

“Class will be starting soon, though.” Sophocles pointed out. “Let’s go. Just… the normal way.” Ash laughed while Kiawe nodded, and the four of them set off. Lillie was already in the classroom by the time they got in and waved, Snowy calling a soft greeting to them that the group returned. Mallow rushed in next, looking around frantically for professor Kukui before breathing a big sigh of relief and settling into her seat.

“I was so sure I’d be late today,” she admitted, closing her eyes and leaning back in the seat. “The orders wouldn’t stop coming.”

“That’s good news, though.” Kiawe said. “Your family restaurant is great and everyone knows it.” She opened her eyes to smile appreciatively at him, while their friends all chimed in with their support.

“Thanks, you’re right. And I love seeing all those happy faces!” She seemed to remember something, pulling a cookie out of her front pocket and offering it to Tsareena, who took it eagerly. “I kinda forgot to eat breakfast, though. I was too busy cooking.” 

“Oh, well I have a really big lunch today.” Ash took off his backpack, gently reaching in beside the ever-sleeping Rowlet. “Here, you can have some. It’s no fun being hungry.” He handed her several different berries, all brightly colored and fragrant, and the rest of them chipped in with parts of their lunch.

“Manalo!” That was Lillie, and all of them looked around at each other before smiling, then laughing, at how perfect it was. The day after the Manalo festival, after everything that’d happened, and here they were, sharing again. It was perfect.

Mallow looked so happy as she ate one of the berries, giving another to Tsareena, and it was then that professor Kukui walked in. “Alola, class!”

“Alola, professor!” All six of them replied, Mallow’s somewhat muffled by the berry in her mouth. 

“I figured it’d be a good time to get back to basics, so how about some field work? We’ll be observing Pokémon in small groups today, and all of us can settle back into our routine, that sound good?” Once again all six of them replied with different affirmative statements, though Ash just shouted in excitement. That was an affirmative statement coming from Ash, though. He looked around at his classmates and caught himself smiling just as broadly as Ash usually does, thinking about how happy he was to be here with them right now. Today was going to be a good day.