#he’s truly smiling wider than any emoji can show

[rickybaby]

This is cute 🥰

[geekywritings]

JUNGKOOK X READER PART 2 - Is this real life or am I in a drama?

Part 2 of my little Jungkook x Reader story. For all who need a recap of Part 1: You are a young vet, just trying to make your way home from work when suddenly Jungkook falls right into your car, taking refuge from a group of sasaengs. You give him a ride home and he exchanges contact details with you, promising to stay in touch.

The prompt for part 2 is: “It’s pouring rain, why are you here?”

For the next few days, all you could think about was that meeting. It still seemed so very surreal. And you didn’t even dare tell anyone about the incident, because who would really believe you? Even your best friends and work colleagues would just raise and eyebrow and shake their heads most likely. Such things simply didn’t happen to people. They were part of k-drama scripts or popular web toons and after a week, you did start to wonder if it had all been some kind of strange dream.

But exactly that evening, when you had just come out of the shower to enjoy a cup of tea and a new episode of your favourite show, your phone beeped with a new Kakao Talk message. You gave your phone a lazy glance and then almost dropped your mug when you saw it was from none other than Jungkook.

JK: “I’m sorry for the late reply, Miss Vet. Things got kinda hectic. But I have not forgotten my promise. I still owe you that thank you.”

You had to reread that message a few times and for a second you wondered if it was a scam perhaps, but who else would now about that event but him? For a second you wondered what to answer before typing:

Y/N: “No problem. You are an idol after all. And you did already thank me.”

It took only a few seconds until his answer popped up.

JK: “It still doesn’t feel like enough.”

Wow, did he know how cool that sounded? 

Y/N: “You don’t have to worry. Really. I’m glad I could help.”

This time he took a bit longer to reply.

JK: “Do you like flowers?”

Y/N: “Yes of course. Who doesn’t?”

JK: “Which ones are your favourites?”

That one was harder to answer. You liked quite a few and just named them all, allowing him to make the final choice.

JK: “Great. Can I send them to your workplace? I don’t think florists deliver late in the evening.”

It was sweet that he was so dead set on sending you flowers as a proper thank you and while part of you was delighted, the other part wondered how to explain the bouquet to your colleagues at the vet office. Still, you typed in your adress and sent it out. 

From then on you thought the conversation would end, but apparently Jungkook was in a talkative mood. He revealed that he had a free evening and was just relaxing on the couch with a good meal, before asking you what you were up to. You told him about the drama and he suggested watching at the same time, sharing comments through text. 

You had never done anything like it before, least of all with a stranger, but Jungkook seemed so nice and it didn’t feel so intimidating to write with an idol over messages. And after the first few shared comments, you actually started to really enjoy it. You two ended up talking throughout the entire episode, which was almost an hour long and then even half an hour on top until Jungkook announced that he was heading to bed. Noticing the time, you realized it was time to hit the pillows yourself. 

But as you laid there in your bed, you kept reading through the chat history, as if making sure it was still real. Especially that “Goog Night” with the cute little emoji brought a smile to your face, before you finally turned off the night light.

____

For the next two weeks, he kept writing texts every other day. Sometimes it was just a random “How are you?” or a comment to your recently posted Kakao Story that he didn’t dare post publicly. But sometimes he would ask if you were watching that drama again to share comments in real time. It had become kind of a ritual when the third week started and a day without his messages felt weird. You still couldn’t tell anyone about it, but your friends and colleagues did start noticing your smiles and your eager grabs for the phone. But whenever they teased, you just said it was some guy online. Their would never believe the truth and you didn’t want to put Jungkook in trouble either. You had seen how crazy his fans could be, so the last thing he needed was your chats to become the topic of online gossip. Besides, it was kind of exhilarating to have a secret like that. At this point, you had already totally forgotten about the flowers.

During the fourth week of knowing Jungkook, you were staying late at the clinic, taking your regular night shift to take care of your little patients. You had just made your rounds, giving all the animals their medicine and checking on their bandages, before sitting down in the reception area, in case of emergencies coming in. But it was a super quiet evening, so you took out your phone. Almost on cue, a message popped up: “Finished work?”

Y/N: “Nope, having a night shift today.”

JK: “Oh, sounds tough.”

Y/N: “Not really. It’s quiet tonight.”

Nothing came after that and you put the phone away again, turning your head to the entry, the glassdoor giving you a perfect view of the rain shower outside. It really was coming down hard today. Bored, you took another round visiting your furry patients, giving them an extra round of cuddles. Suddenly the sound of the door tore through the hallway and you were quick to place the cat with the broken paw down to go and check on the new arrival.

You were utterly stunned to see Jungkook standing in the half opened door, dripping wet and with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers in hand. 

“It’s pouring rain! Why are you here?!”, you exclaimed, approaching him with a shake of your head. 

“Well, florists dont deliver at this hour.”, he said cheekily with a shrug. “So I came personally.” 

He held out the dripping bouquet to you, which you took gratefully, enjoying the heavy fragrance of the flowers.

“You really shouldn’t have, but thank you. They are gorgeous.”, you said, sending him a smile, before inviting him to the staff room. 

“Let me make you a tea and grab you a towel.”

“You got coffee instead?”, he asked, running a hand through his hair. It had changed color, you noticed, though you also instantly thought that you prefered it black. 

A few minutes later you came back with a small towel and a steaming cup of coffee, taking a seat across from him at the small table. The entire room was tiny, but it was enough for the team.

“So this is where you work, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s a good place. It has nice people and I like how we truly take our time for each patient.”, you explained. You knew that not every clinic was like that, having done internships elsewhere during your studies. 

“Aren’t you busy though?”, it was now your turn to ask him a question.

“I am most nights, but we do get our time off as well.”, Jungkook replied. “Our agency is a good place too.” You nodded, having read up a bit about Big Hit since your meeting with one of their idols. You also realized that you did know and enjoy quite a few of BTS’ songs, even though you had never been able to put a face to them. Now you enjoyed them even more.

“Do you want a tour?”, you asked, after a minute of silence fell between you, during which Jungkook tried to dry his hair. He agreed with a nod, before following you around. There wasn’t much to show, but he did spend some time in the patient rooms, giving the animals some pets and cuddles. He was good with them, you notcied and they seemed to like him in return.

“You have two cats at home, right?”, he asked, his hand still stroking a fat tabby, who was at the clinic because of stomach problems. The owner insisted something was wrong with him, even though you had determined that he just needed a change in food and a consistent diet. 

“Yeah, Mr. Paws and Pogi.”, you replied. “I got them both from here, when the owners didn’t want them anymore.”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped to you, one of his eyebrows raised. “People do that?”

“Sometimes, unfortunately. Mr. Paws has a missing paw, ironically. We had to amputate it and the owner thought his cat would need special treatment because of it. And Pogi just needs regular medication and special food.” Small things really, but some owners just couldn’t handle it. 

“I saw pictures of them and I never notcied the missing paw.”, Jungkook said.

“I don’t make a point of making it the focus on pictures.” 

You ended the tour back in the staff room, where Jungkook took his coffee for a few sips, the drink instantly helping to warm him up. 

“I have to miss our drama this friday.”, he suddenly announced. “So you have to give me detailed updates or at least a good summary.”

“You could just watch the rerun online.”, you suggested.

“It’s no fun alone. So unless you can wait a day for the new episode...”

“I make no promises, since the last episode ended on a cliffhanger.. but I’ll try to be patient.” He smiled at your humor, but you were serous. The show was more enjoyable with him. 

“How did you get here?”, you eventually asked.

“I took a cab, but told them to let me out in front of a restaurant nearby. From there I walked.” In the pouring rain no less. Probably so the cab driver wouldn’t tell where he went. It was a clever ruse, but it was a shame that it was even necessary. 

“Need a ride home?”, you asked. “I think I’m not a bad driver and I have some minor experience with idol passengers.”

His smile grew even wider at that. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“But I do stil have to work for an hour before I can take my break.”, you said, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“Just a break? What time do you go home?”

“This is just like a hospital with normal night shifts. Usually they are covered by our senior staff, but because some are on holiday, the task falls to me. So today, I’m staying till 7am. But I get the next day off.”, you explained. Those almost 24 hour shifts were draining, but rare, so you didn’t mind them at all. 

“Oh, I think I will need loads of coffee to make it until 7am...”, he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I might as well keep you company. That will be the perfect way to show my gratitude.”

“You really don’t have you...”; you started. 

“I have a free day tomorrow as well, so I don’t mind.”, he insisted casually. “Besides, we get a chance to talk about that drama in person. It’s easier than typing.”

You still didn’t get why he wanted to stay. Somehow you could not imagine that it was because he simply started to enjoy your company through your online talks.

For almost the whole night, you just talked and drank copious amounts of coffee. He followed you on your patrol rounds, helping you with minor tasks whenever he could. And although it was strange, it was the best night shift ever. Most of the time, it didn’t feel like you were hanging out with an idol, but just with a really nice guy. A really handsome one at that. 

“This is nice.”, Jungkook said, voicing what you had been thinking. “But I do need another coffee.”

“You could also just take a nap.”, you offered. “I’ll wake you before it’s time to go.” It was already 4 am at this point. 

He seemed to think about the offer. “Ok, but we will grab some breakfast together to make up for lost time.”

Did he really feel like he owed you all this time? You weren’t quite sure what to answer, so you just nodded and went to grab him a blanket. There was a small sofa in the staff room specifically for the nightshift or patients who could not see blood. 

“Goodnight, Jungkook.”

“Goodnight, Y/N”

Hearing it live was so much better than reading his text you decided. And with a smile you made yourself another coffee to last the remaining hours. 

[the-a-word-2214]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

The Singer

Anthony Ramos x OC

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Things are really stirring up now! Big thanks to @charming-charlie charlie for helping with this one.

1,706 words

Chapter 6: Secrets

After a hectic night at the “Bleu Bleu”, Scarlett decided to call it a day after she helped the owner close for the evening. Anthony was busy doing a dance workshop and told her to meet him there after she was done. She stepped into the wooden tiled studio space that surprisingly smelled nice. She picked up hints of lavender and rose as she opened the door to the main area where she could see bodies moving around the room. It definitely looked like one hell of a workout. Scarlett immediately spotted Anthony who was dancing with the instructor. She was guiding his movements although he didn’t need much help. His moves were fluid as he swayed and fell into a complex street dance routine. A tank top hung loosely on his toned body, along with a pair of track pants to allow for more movement. She followed his gaze as he appeared to be deep in concentration.

Once the music stopped, he breathed out a sigh of relief as he grabbed his towel from his duffel bag. He promptly wiped away the sweat from his face as he broke out into his signature grin. He high-fived the dark-haired woman before he caught Scarlett’s attention. She bit her lip and waved with her free hand. His smile grew wider as he approached her, giving her a sweaty hug. “Oh lord, Ant! You’re getting me all sweaty.” He laughed as he let his hands fall to her hips. “You know you love it.” He teased. It was pretty gross but she loved that he was finding a way to be active doing something that he loved. I mean, damn! Have you seen this man move? Let’s just say that Scarlett was incredibly lucky to have him. She knew that to be true.

Once Anthony said his goodbyes to his friends, it was time for them to head back to his place for some serious TLC. Just as they approached the door to his apartment, Scarlett’s phone began to blow up with notifications. She paused just as she was about to unlock the door. She reached in her pocket to see what was so urgent. Her friends had been bombarding her with messages about how the internet seemed to be loving her relationship with Anthony. Dozens of fan pages had already been made with their ship name, it was either Lamos or Anthonett depending on which account you clicked on. Scarlett scoffed and shoved her phone back in her pocket. She unlocked the door and made her way inside, Anthony behind her. “What was all that about? I’ve never heard your phone blow up like that.” He comments as he steps inside and sets his bag down. Scarlett finally picked up her phone and read the message.

Scarlett stared at Renee’s text message in shock. She knew this is what came with the territory, especially when dating someone who was in the public eye. Broadway had crazy supportive, and crazy insane, fans. Scarlett was worried about attracting the wrong kind of attention, especially since this was all new territory to her. Hopefully it would be nothing. Right? That is what Scarlett will wish for. Nothing bad would come of this and it’ll be fine.

Anthony had spent the night a few days ago and the two unfortunately did not see each other much after that. He was so busy on set and Scarlett was working at the bar every night. After the Hamilton crew showed up, the night where Scarlett and Anthony first met, the bar sort of became a little bit of a hotspot among Broadway performers. Since the bar was more packed than usual, Scarlett ended up working more. Not that she minded, she needed the money.

This morning though, she was struggling to get ready for work. Her phone was blowing up, a lot more than usual. It wasn’t just text messages either. She was getting notifications through her social media, which was more surprising. Her Twitter and Insta were often quiet enough, but she gained more followers with each passing hour and she didn’t even upload or post anything.

Daveed sent her the picture from the magazine. Scarlett’s face was visible, as plain as day. It was a candid shot of her and Anthony, just walking up the street. It could’ve been taken at any time. She never recalled seeing a camera around.

Oak sent the same picture, except he gave Anthony a super dramatic drawn on moustache and sharpie glasses with the text saying, “Can’t believe you are dating this dude!” followed by a laughing emoji.

Scarlett had to hustle. She was running late. Her phone was still buzzing in her pocket when she clocked in for work. Thankfully, her boss didn’t even notice she was late, and she was able to slip in and start doing her job without a second’s hesitation. She tried to ignore the vibrating phone in her back pocket, but it was proving to be difficult. She was also one thousand percent sure Anthony knew they made their public debut and she wished she could talk to him, even just for a moment.

It was no secret that Scarlett did not particularly enjoy the spotlight. She had to work up a lot of courage and swallow her nerves just for singing at the bar. Now her picture and her name were out there, which sort of terrified her. That’s never happened before. With all the thoughts swimming in her head, she almost tripped over the microphone wires on the stage she was setting up. Slight panic attack thinking she almost died, but she got over it and hid backstage.

Breathe, Scarlett. Just breathe. You’ll be fine.

Again with the incessant buzzing. Scarlett pulled her phone out of her pocket and saw the notifications. Some were from social media, her being tagged in new posts, and she received more text messages. Renee was texting her, just to check up on her. Oak sent text messages of the magazine picture with various objects on Anthony’s face. At least he was having the time of his life.

She sent a quick text message to Renee saying she was working and that she will have to get back to her later. Anthony sent her a text before he started shooting scenes. It was a simple, “Good morning, beautiful. Hope to see you soon!” message and Scarlett didn’t have time to reply before she went back to work. On the one hand, she was glad she got the morning shift and would be done early afternoon. On the other, she wanted to stay busy and keep her mind occupied. Inhaling a deep breath, Scarlett went back to work and tried to focus.

Scarlett was on a break. There was only one hour to go, and her boss was forcing her to take ten minutes now. She worked non-stop for most of the late morning and was finally getting back to her boyfriend. She read his text messages and she couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps it’ll be okay. If Anthony can find humor in this, and wasn’t freaking out like she was, then maybe she truly did have nothing to freak out about. Anthony seemed pretty calm, so maybe it was all good.

She texted him back, saying he cannot fire Oak as a friend (or from life) and that she wanted to see the new artwork Oak created that made Anthony look like a fish. She sat in the breakroom as her text message went through and she just sighed. It was a relieving sigh, like she had been holding her breath in all day and finally had a chance to exhale. A weight seemed to lift off her shoulders. She didn’t know why she didn’t text him or talk to him in the first place. A lot of panic-inducing nerves could have been subsided if she simply just let her guard down. This wasn’t going to be so bad after all. She smiled as her phone buzzed, with Anthony replying to her message. It went back and forth, the little banter, and it just made her feel good. She could get through the next 45 minutes in one piece. Maybe she will pick up a copy of the magazine on her way home.

Her break was almost over. Time flew by when she talked to Anthony like she was. She was almost about to get back to work when someone entered the breakroom. She recognized Charlie immediately, her long hair in a tight ponytail that seemed to give her an unnecessary facelift. “Hey, someone just dropped this off for you.” Charlie handed Scarlett an envelope, one of those manila envelopes with the metal brad on the back. Scarlett, looking surprised, thought for a split second that it was a copy of the magazine, probably from Renee or Oak, sent through a courier system.

How wrong she was.Scarlett opened the letter and pulled out a piece of paper. It took her a while to read what the message said. The message contained glued letters, cut from pieces of a magazine. It looked hastily done but it was enough to rattle her. She grabbed her phone and called Anthony. He didn’t answer so she called again. After the third time, he finally picked up.

“What’s up?” he asked, his voice dripping with concern. Scarlett calling him over and over again meant something had to be wrong.

“Can you come to the bar? Now?” Scarlett asked. Her voice was shaking as she entered panic mode again. Charlie stood there, looking concerned, but not really knowing how to react. She couldn’t see the letter since Scarlett was clutching it tightly to her chest. “Right now.”

“Everything okay?” Anthony asked slowly, like he was trying to get more detail out of her but Scarlett hung up. Her hands were shaking, and she almost dropped her phone if Charlie hadn’t caught it at the right moment. Scarlett looked down at the letter again. Okay, this never, ever happened to her before. Was she over-reacting? She didn’t think so. She read the message repeatedly. Can she freak out now? Looking at the message, she felt it was justified.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

[thecoleopterawithana]

Love your blog! I was wondering if you’ve read Paul’s PR guy’s diaries? They are full of little gems, such as how Paul uses smileys and is very handy with his iPhone. I read this entry and the guy writes Paul lost “a soulmate and songwriter”. I think it’s quite telling that the people he works with call John his soulmate. Haven’t read all the guy’s entries yet but just wanted to mention this one; it’s the entry about the Freshen Up tour in Japan 2018.

Hey there! I’m so incredibly sorry for taking so long to reply, but life has been truly hectic! 

To answer your question, I hadn’t had the chance to go through Stuart Bell’s accounts of the Japanese leg of the Freshen Up Tour (2018), so I’m grateful you’ve brought this to my attention! He certainly offers a different insight into the inner workings of the tour and how a more than experienced Paul navigates the commotion still with youthful enthusiasm. Even if written with a bit of a “PR hat on”, an amassing of ‘insider’ POVs (from people who were actually there) is invaluable to getting the full picture of Paul McCartney. And as someone who is filled with love every time a new facet is revealed, I appreciate any piece of information that comes my way!  

So I have to agree with you that little anecdotes like these are hidden gems:

The devotion and adoration is incredible and as Paul’s car rolls by this afternoon, the faithful are rewarded as Paul winds down the window and waves. He is so touched, and awed, by the reception that he even shoots some footage as he rolls past the fans. (Later in the week I receive a text from Paul while I am out for a run and it contains the clip. It looks mega so I ask if I can post to his social media – shortly afterwards I receive a smile face. A little-known fact about Paul – he is the master of emojis when text messaging! 

— Wednesday 31st October – Tokyo Dome, For Whom The Bell Tells: Japan 2018.

And then, we have this other entry, that I agree is rather interesting: not only does it give us an ‘insider’s perspective on John’s significance in Paul’s life, but the piece centres on the issue of art as a platform with the power to spread a message, social responsibility, and how the message is something one’s passionate about (Paul being described as “not shying away from wearing his heart on his sleeve” just tickles me):

It barely needs mentioning that music is a huge and central part of Paul’s life but he has never been detached from the wider world. Like many musicians, matters of the heart are a preoccupation in his song-writing but Paul has continued to express his thoughts on life, the world in general and the causes close to his heart through his songs, interviews and other interventions. You can look back to the controversy surrounding his debut single with Wings, 'Give Ireland Back To The Irish’ (a response to the “Bloody Sunday” killings only a few weeks earlier in 1972), as an example of how he does not shy away from wearing his heart on his sleeve. Paul is passionate about many things and his humanity is self-evident. For a man who lost a soulmate and song-writing partner, you can imagine how the horrors of gun violence are an issue close to his heart. Just days ago the world was sickened by the mass shooting in a synagogue in Pittsburgh and so Paul has been keen to make his views known by not only showing his disgust at the attack which left 11 dead but also calling on the US to do the right thing by using their votes in the upcoming election to elect politicians who will do something about it. As I’m on my way to the venue Paul calls me and asks us to release a message in response to the terrible events.  He gives me a quote over the phone and in a rather surreal moment as we chat, I find myself looking out of the car window to see giant posters of Paul across the city with huge welcome messages for him.

—Thursday 1st November – Tokyo Dome, For Whom The Bell Tells: Japan 2018.

But let’s address the bit about his relationship with John. 

Like you, I find very telling the choice of words used here. It just goes to show how themselves and everyone around them have to scramble for a term that adequately describes the ineffability of their connection. It felt so encompassing, that the terms that regularly pop up hold that indescribable aspect in themselves: special, magical, cosmic soulmates. And seeing them struggle to put it into words is one of my favourite things! It’s no surprise then that I have an inordinate amount of overlapping tags covering the numerous nuances of this very same feeling, tracking their various attempts at capturing it.

But for me, it’s even more fascinating to look beyond the external awe-inducing aspect of it  – this special, magical, cosmic glow that draws us to the relationship in the first place  – and see how this notion felt to them; how it impacted the relationship in the first place.

Let’s look from Paul’s perspective first, as it is here, by a matter of the circumstances, that we find more material.

We wrote our first songs together, we grew up together and we lived our lives together. And when we’d do it together, something special would happen. There’d be that little magic spark.

— Paul McCartney, in Bill Harry’s The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia (2003). 

We read each other. We’d grown up together! (…) We’d been teenagers together, I’d been sitting in his bedroom listening to Fats Domino, Chuck Berry, we’d been taking down the words together when we were like 16/17. So we’ve actually grown up together. So that, if he said: “Gotta be like Chuck Berry!” I knew what record he meant. I knew even what line he was talking about! You know? So, we read each other in that respect.

— Paul McCartney, interview for the Today Show (6 July 1997).

With John and I, it was so special, I think both of us knew we couldn’t get that again. And it’s proved itself, through time, to be as special as it felt when we were doing it. So I don’t think that could happen again. We really were a complete fluke – just two kids who happened to meet up in Liverpool and share an interest and start writing songs together. And then developed, organically, together. And had the same sense of humour. And learned things at the same rate. Found out about Vietnam together. Little things. All of these little awarenesses pretty much hit us at the same time over a period of years. And you really become soulmates when that happens.

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Mark Binelli for Rolling Stone: Sir Paul rides again. (October 20th, 2005)

No matter what’s happened, even though John’s dead, I don’t feel like we are ever gonna be apart. I think we’re a part of each other’s lives, we’re a part of each other’s karma, man!

He was a lovely guy, you know. And it gets sadder and sadder to be saying “was”. Nearer to when he died I couldn’t believe I was saying “was”, but now I do believe I’m saying “was”. I’ve resisted it. I’ve tried to pretend he didn’t get killed… it’s a bit sad. But anyway, I was blessed to be in The Beatles, to work with John. Something, somewhere… you know they talk about a gift of songwriting, well that was a pretty cool gift whoever gave it me.

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Mat Snow for MOJO (November, 1995).

Paul seems to take a causality approach, with a bit of occasional baffling at the mysterious workings of fate sprinkled in. In typical Macca fashion, he condenses in himself the apparently paradoxical views of people as pavers of their own paths – we became soulmates because of the circumstances, because we chose to spend all that time together – and people as participants in a big cosmic play – we were brought together in the first place by something, somewhere, blessed to be a part of each other’s lives, each other’s karma.

But overall, it is very important to realise that despite attributing the initial circumstances to chance or a higher-power – them meeting at that particular moment and clicking so well immediately – Paul seems to value shared time, space and experiences as some of the biggest factors behind the magic. 

They became soulmates, by virtue of growing up and living their lives together. 

This places the agency and the responsibility of making it work right in their own hands. You want to be that close, that attuned, that in-sync with the other to the point of feeling like you can read each other’s minds? Right, you have to actually spend the time together, to accrue shared references and memories that will end up developing into that unspoken language. You can’t expect to have been born on this planet inherently capable of communicating with your preordained soulmate. 

And that brings us to John. 

John is awesome because despite having all those overpowering emotions and traumas inside him, he wasn’t actually afraid of engaging in some introspection and facing those feelings head-on. Because of this, he was able of evolving much faster (or at least, even when he couldn’t always change his actions, he seemed willing to try and become self-aware enough to understand why he was acting that way in the first place). 

So let’s see, after 40 years of getting to know himself, what answers did Johnny reach:

John: Well, you’re asking why we met. I mean, I don’t know. It’s like asking why you were born. I can give you theories of karmic pasts and things like that, but I’ve no idea why. But why it continues is because we want it to continue and work to continue. There seem to be certain cycles that relationships go through. The critical points are at different parts of the different cycles. The new way of talking is like, “Well, why work on a relationship? We just stop and get another one.” But the karmic joke is, presuming you’re lucky enough to find a new relationship anywhere near the relationship you’re giving up – or exchanging, or walking away from, or destroying by inattention or inadvertence of selfishness, or whatever it is – that you have to go through it over and over and over again right up until you’re seventy. People never grasp the fact that they’re going to have to go through the same thing again. They get to the sort of five-year stretch or the seven-year itch or whatever these tension points are, that seem to be organic, built in, like the tide coming in and going out. It’s like every time the tide goes out, you quit—you move your house of something, I’m not making it clear here but you get where I’m going…

Sheff: Yes, yes, but what made you see that?

John: When [Yoko] kicked me out, I saw I was kicked out. When I was kicked out, I realised where I was, which was on a raft in the middle of the universe, and whatever happened, presuming I could have started another relationship, I would have ended up in the same place—if I was lucky. And that’s a big if.

Sheff: You’re speaking about your separation in the early Seventies.

John: Seventy-three, or whenever we were separated, which is sort of a very cold way of saying it. It took a while, but that’s what I saw. If I was lucky… It’s like what they say about karma. If you don’t get it right in this lifetime, you have to come back and go through it again. Well, those laws that are sort of cosmically talked about – accepted or not, but talked about apply down to the most minute detail of life, too. It’s like ‘Instant Karma,’ which is my way of saying it, right? It’s not just some big cosmic thing, although it’s that as well, but it’s also the small things, like your life here and your relationship with the person you want to live with and be with. There are laws governing that relationship, too. You can either give up halfway up the hill and say, “I don’t want to climb the mountain, it’s too tough, I’m going to go back to the bottom and start again,” or you can do it this time.

Sheff: But you once decided it was too tough.

John: I did. But I didn’t see any of this then. Yoko and I were lucky enough to go through that and come back and pick up where we left off, although it took us some kind of effort and energy to – to blend in again and get in the same sync again. It took some time.

— John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

It is with great love and affection that I see John’s matured insights: that despite having met under cosmically mysterious circumstances, the choice to build it into something more is in your hands. 

“Why it continues is because we want it to continue and work to continue.”

But John, like Paul, seems to have only gained this wisdom with the benefit of time and experience. It was with the perspective afforded by the passage of years that Paul came to fully realise and appreciate how truly special and improbably “perfect for each other” they were. And John “took his lucky break” and realised how hard it was to “find a new relationship anywhere near the relationship you’re giving up – or exchanging, or walking away from, or destroying by inattention or inadvertence of selfishness”.

(As an aside, I can’t help but point out how John pretty much disclosed what, in his opinion, made the mountain called JohnandPaul too difficult to climb: his selfishness and Paul’s inattention.)

In the same interview and continuing the reflections on the cyclic nature of relationships started above, and just what he lost by giving it up:

John: In a marriage, or a love affair – when the seven-year-itch or the twelve-year or whatever these things that you have to go through – there comes a point where the marriage collapses because they can’t face that reality, and they go seeking what they thought they should be having, still, somewhere else. I get a new girl, it’ll all be like that again; I get a new boy… But for all marriages, all couples, it’ll all be the same again. But what you lose is what you put into that… relationship. The early stuff – the Hard Day’s Night period, I call it – the early period, was the early equi– se– what I’m – what I’m equating it to is the sexual equivalent of the beginning of a relationship, of people in love. And the Sgt. Pepper-Abbey Road period was the period of maturity in the relationship. And maybe had we gone on together, maybe something more interesting would have come out of it. It would not have been the same. It would have been a different thing. But maybe it wouldn’t either. Maybe it was a marriage that had to end. Some marriages don’t get through that – that phase. It’s hard to speculate about what would have been.

— John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

So, John acknowledges how you risk losing a very special relationship and everything you’ve put into it by walking away when it goes through a cyclic tough phase, how he did it once but he “didn’t see any of this then”. 

But what didn’t he see back then? Was he too careless and flippant about what they had, not appreciating how unique it was? 

No. 

John was, even back then, very much aware that this thing with Paul was special. And that, if anything, made it worse. Because now there were (perhaps unconscious) unmeetable expectations weighing down on his belief in the genuineness of the relationship. 

If they are cosmically connected, then they should be able to communicate wordlessly, “share in each other’s minds”; if they can read each other’s minds, they should know the other’s every want and need; so if Paul is not innately responding to his wants and needs, he is either actively ignoring John’s suffering (because Paul doesn’t really care about him or, perhaps, because he actually derives pleasure from seeing John down); or Paul can’t actually feel John’s pain intrinsically in the first place, and that would mean that everything that John believed about the specialness of the relationship and the relationship itself was a lie. 

And boy, faulty communication sure is one of the fatal flaws in their dynamic! All because there was the assumption that they were so in-tune that they didn’t need to talk! There seemed to be the expectation that everything would flow seamlessly. And if it wasn’t flowing, if anything required a bit of personal input to work it out, then it wasn’t genuine and spontaneous any more. And if the relationship wasn’t real, it wasn’t worth climbing the mountain for. It shouldn’t be a climb at all, but rather an effortless glide, hand-in-hand, through the universe!

John: Because we have plenty of arguments, but we’re also so attuned to each other, and we know each other so well, through the years, that an argument never reaches a climax. Or it never reaches the point where somebody goes off ‘cause they’re done talking, you know.

Q: In other words, it’s forgotten.

John: It’s not forgotten. But we know each other so well, it’s like sort of mind-reading. If an argument’s building up between Ringo and I, say, there comes to a point where we know what’s coming next and it’s all – everybody packs in. Or something – some, “Okay, he wins,” you know. So we have ordinary arguments, like other people, but we don’t – there’s no sort of conflict. All the people who have conflict in show business either get married about nineteen times, they leave the group they’re in and go solo… and nothing ever happens.

— Interview w/ Larry Kane (2 September 1964).

Hindle: What do you think about language?JOHN: I think it’s a bit crummy, you know? It is a drag form of communication, really. We’ll get – we’ll get telepathy. I believe that.Hindle: You believe that?JOHN: Yeah, sure. Sure. Sure as anything I believe. It’s too… Because now we need it so much. […]  But it’s hard… it’s that bit, you know. There are – there’s people everywhere of the same mind and it’s just… even amongst ourselves we can’t communicate. Which is the hard bit, you know. Hindle: Yeah.JOHN: Amongst the people that sort of really agree. Hindle: Just ’cause of words?JOHN: Just ’cause of words, and upbringing, and attitude, and how you express your… Well, it’s just some – you’ve got to find a mutual sort of language to express yourself, you know? And my language is that—Hindle: Unless you fall in love it’s impossible to communicate like that. JOHN: I mean, I wasn’t in love last year, but I was communicating quite well with people. Not as well, or maybe not as powerfully. ’Cause now there’s two of us, doing that, brrmmm, whatever it is. Sending out a vibration or whatever. But before it was me and… or me and George, alright, or whatever it was; we weren’t in love, but. You know. There’s enough in you to shove it out. It is just that bit. If you – if somebody comes in a room and he’s uptight and that, he can make the whole room uptight.

— John Lennon, interview w/ Maurice Hindle (December 1968).

It’s sort of complicated but sometimes you say things, but it’s not really what you meant to say. If I say something to you and you hear it different from what I’ve said it, and you answer back and we’re not really getting down to it. I’m really talking like that you know. Like somebody says ‘do you want ice cream?’ and I’ll say no, and actually I meant yes. You find yourself saying the opposite of what you mean. This happens to me quite a lot. I speak a lot, but what I say is not always what I mean.

— John Lennon, when talking about I Know (I Know) (1973).

Laverdiere: [The Family Way soundtrack] was actually the first time you would officially compose outside the Lennon-McCartney tandem.

Paul: Yes, and you know, it’s funny. That’s true. It’s funny because talking to Yoko recently, you know, you talk about all these things that happen way back in history. It turns out John was not pleased; but I didn’t know ‘til a year ago that he wasn’t pleased. He always told me, “Fine.” ‘Cause he’d been acting in a film – he did a film called How I Won The War – so we started to do little solo thing, just for a change, just for a break, and so I assumed, I asked him, “Is it okay with you?” He said, “Yeah, fine, fine.”

But Yoko told me that he was actually a little bit put off by that, because he hoped probably that I would say Lennon-McCartney will write this together. But to me it seemed a good opportunity to get away of what I did normally. But Yoko just told me apparently John was a little bit hurt about that. Which is sad. But we did actually talk about it. He just never told me at that time. He probably just covered up.

—Paul McCartney, interview w/ Michel Laverdière. (May 23rd, 1995)

‘Rigby’’s, um, his first verse, and the rest of the verses are basically mine. But the way he did it was – uh, was he had the song, and he knew he’d got the song. So rather than ask me, “John, do these lyrics—” Because by that period, he didn’t want to say that – to me. Okay? So what he would say was, “Hey, you guys, finish off the lyrics,” while he was sort of fiddling around with the track or something, or – or arranging it, in the other part of the giant studio in EMI.

Now, I sat there with Mal Evans, a road manager who was a telephone installer, and Neil Aspinall, who was a not-completed student accountant who became our road manager. And I was insulted and hurt that he’d thrown it out in the air, but I wanted to grab a piece of it, and I wrote it with them sitting at the table. So. There might be a version that they contributed, but there isn’t a line in there that they put in.

But that’s how it – [Paul] just sort of— ‘Cause that’s the kind of insensitivity he would have – which made me upset in the later years – because to him, that meant nothing. But that’s the kind of person he is. So he threw ‘em out and said, “Here, finish these up,” like – to anybody, who was around. [By saying that] actually he meant I was to do it, but – you know, Neil and Mal were sitting there, and…

— John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

John: We don’t really write together any more. We haven’t written together for two years. Not really. Just occasional bits we help… somebody’s got to use a line or two.

Miles: How does that affect you when you’re playing then?

John: It doesn’t make any odds, who writes them. It’s when The Beatles perform that makes it into Beatle music. It’s a long time since we’ve sat down and written together for many reasons, because we used to write together mainly on tour. Then there was a valid reason for it. It got false – “Come round to my house and we’ll write some songs” – it doesn’t work anymore.

—John Lennon, interview w/ Barry Miles, (partially) unpublished. (September 23rd, 1969)

But in the early days of performing, whether it was Hamburg or Liverpool, when we were still playing dance halls, there was still a lot of inspirational energy. We hadn’t started repeating our little movements, our little licks. So in that respect, the Beatles’ live creativity had gone long before they came to America. And in the same respect, the creativity of songwriting had left Paul and me… well by the mid-Sixties it had become a craft.

And yet… a different kind of thing comes in. It’s like a love affair. When you first meet, you can have the hots twenty-four hours a day for each other. But after fifteen or twenty years, a different kind of sexual and intellectual relationship develops, right? It’s still love, but it’s different. So there’s that kind of difference in creativity too. As in a love affair, two creative people can destroy themselves trying to recapture that youthful spirit, at twenty-one or twenty-four, of creating without even being aware of how it’s happening. One takes to drugs, to drinks, to knock oneself out…

— John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

I was really going through the “What’s it all about?” type thing – this songwriting is nothing, it’s pointless, and I’m no good, I’m not talented, and I’m shitty, and I couldn’t do anything but be a Beatle. What am I going to do about it? It lasted nearly two years and I was still in it during Pepper. I know Paul wasn’t at the time; he was feeling full of confidence, and I was going through murder during those periods.

—John Lennon, interview w/ Barry Miles, (partially) unpublished. (September 23rd, 1969) 

You can get a picture of how this expectation of implicit understanding between them when mixed with the insecurity in the other’s love they harboured, bred a lot of hurts… 

It takes two to tango, of course. I won’t really get into how Paul’s avoidance of his own feelings and implicit expectation that John would know how much he meant to him, without Paul having to look those emotions in the eye for too long or make himself vulnerable by saying them out loud, had a part to play in this. I have touched upon this in other posts and hope to go deeper in the future, but this has run away from me as it is!

It makes me happy that, even if only in retrospect, their approach to this special, magical, cosmic connection they shared evolved from the naive view that the relationship had to carry itself own the back of its own merits, to the more mature understanding that it continues because they want it to continue and work to continue. As John put it: Love is a flower and you have to water it.

Once again, thank you so much for the ask, and forgive me for losing myself completely down this rather angsty rabbit-hole… But feel free to explore the tags for more appreciations of the magical quality of Lennon/McCartney!

[ddaenghoney]

SERIES: HALLOWEEN BETWEEN MIDNIGHTS

Chapter 19.2

On October 1st, you attend a Halloween party in an abandoned house rented by some friends. As scary as the idea of cult owners is, nothing could have prepared you and BTS(regular people) for the mayhem and terror that follows until October 31st.

This is an INTERACTIVE fic. At the end of each part, readers will be able to vote to decide what happens next. Analyze everything(except the time) carefully. Choices decide romance, friendship, and deaths; and yes, ANYONE can die.

In other words, please read at your own risk; anything goes in this story.

Start here | Previous part | Next part 

Entering into the venue, you first caught sight of the countless specks of orange lights situated all over the ceiling. A few balloons scattered about. Smiling at Seokjin’s choice of design, you felt relief at the idea of a simple party. Granted the place was full and loud, but at least there wasn’t a looming threat like the last party.

The threat, you adjusted the large, pointy hat balancing on your head as your lips pursed from the thought, the threat was what exactly?

You wandered around, looking at the decor and grinning at the wild costumes some adorned. They made your simplistic witch costume mundane, but at least it would be easier to travel in whenever you left with Hoseok later on. You reached to switch your phone off of silent, enabling you to actually know when he arrived. In doing so your eyes caught the profile picture you had for him, and the couple of emojis besides his nickname. What date was it that you took that picture, anyways?

You shrugged, narrowing your eyes as you considered it being hard to pinpoint since you both saw each other every day. Every day since you got back together with him more than a couple of weeks ago, or maybe it was just about two weeks.

“Y/N, your costume is cool.” Your eyes left the stupor to find Namjoon smiling with a solo cup of something in hand. He pointed to the hat and its glittery cat pin on the base, “I like the little touches.”

“I barely put it together before coming here, honestly.” You reached back up again to readjust the hat, somewhat flustered by the compliment seeing as you were digging through racks at a thrift store about four hours before. “But thanks, Namjoon. The doctor look on you is nice too.”

“I just asked a friend from the medical school for his coat,” He chuckled at himself, arms raising to showcase the long fall of white fabric. You noticed a silly sticky note with his name on it over the embroidery of whatever his friend’s name was. You smiled.

“Hey, have you seen Guk or Jimin?” You glanced around the room, truly not paying the most attention up until now. “I wanted to get a picture with them.”

“I saw Jeongguk towards the back earlier-- close by the balcony.” He turned his head to the direction, “I’ll walk with you there, I lost track of Jin anyways. Hoseok not coming?”

“He is,” You nodded as you began walking, trying to steer clear the makeshift dance floor central in the venue. “Just running late. We’ll probably leave not too late in, actually.”

“Going to go enjoy the full moon?” He inquired lightly, missing your eyes straying up to his face as he continued, “I was looking at it on the way here. It’s crazy how big it is, and on Halloween no less.” As he finished, his eyebrows momentarily hardened, stuck in a sudden thought.

“I feel like there’s something about the full moon I wanted to say, but I forgot.” You filled in the silence, laughing softly at your mind’s inability to recall what kept racking around for attention. “I didn’t really get the best sleep last night though, so maybe I’m just tired already.”

“Me too.” Namjoon nodded, “My head was killing me when I woke up. Not sure why though. I don’t remember what I did last night really.”

“Got drunk by the sounds of it.”

“No.” He chuckled, shrugging, “I mean, I really don’t think so.” Instinctively tensing at the sound of a small scream somewhere mixed into the crowd, you both looked for the source. Seeing a portion begin to laugh, you sighed. Their were so many pranks this past month. “I swear if Jin pulls any of the crap that Jeongguk and Taehyung did at their party-”

“What crap?” You cut in, frowning at his words.

“The haunted house,” He paused, squinting in concentration, “And the seance.”

“Seance.” You repeated rhetorically. Returning your eyes to the front, you thought about the aforementioned events. You felt the urge to grab at your shoulder, like it all the sudden was sore. “Right, that happened huh.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was crazy.” Namjoon’s coat suddenly brushed around as he searched for his phone in his pocket. You thought about the previous party, at that house. You recalled it being incredibly well-kept despite how old it should’ve been. Like it was still active, but abandoned nonetheless.

“The supreme arrived,” Jimin’s arm reached to take hold of your wide sleeve as he came out of nowhere. Grinning at your apparel, he eventually locked faux grey irises to yours, “You look cute.”

“Not threatening?” You tugged your arm away to cross your arms, wondering how he managed to put together such an elaborate vampire look despite telling you he was going to scavenge at Walmart. His head shook at your question,

“Not with a cat pinned to your hat.” He turned his head, eyes scanning, “Oh,” Yours followed the direction as he called out, “Jeongguk, I found her over here!”

Your lips tightened to stop the endeared laughter as Jeongguk’s head perked with large rabbit ears flopping around on his head. Smiling wide when he saw you, he wandered over, boxy pink shirt tucked into plain jeans.

“A bunny?” You prodded at the sharpie whiskers on his cheek.

“The ears were three dollars, so it seemed right.” You giggled at his simple frugality, earning the crinkles around his nose to show as he smiled. “Meanwhile you’re a cult girl I guess?” He looked at the long black cloak, “Spooky.” He didn’t think so.

“Cult,” Your lips pouted, glancing to your attire. “What like what you and Tae wore?”

“Huh?” His smile dissipated. “When did we dress up as cult people?”

“At the last party,” You frowned, glancing to Jimin, “Right?”

“I didn’t go, so-”

“You did too,” Namjoon cut in from behind you, “Remember you wanted to explore?”

“I did,” Jimin wondered, rubbing his jaw as he thought about it, “Oh yeah,” His shoulders trembled, “I feel weird thinking about it. I bet that place was cursed. Where is Taehyung, though? Did he ever answer you, Guk?”

“No.” Jeongguk looked at his phone after answering. Checking again. “Have you heard from Yoongi, Y/N? I didn’t think he’d come, but I still haven’t heard from him at all today either.”

“He,” You stumbled in thought, not entirely sure when the last time you spoke to him was. You remembered an argument days ago over him moving, but at the thought of more recent events you couldn’t recall. One of your hands fiddled with the other, mindlessly rubbing your thumb over the knuckles, “I don’t know. I haven’t texted him today.”

“Hey, look at this guys,” The three of you turned towards Namjoon as he then groaned at his phone. “Internet in here is awful, hold on.”

“Love.” You didn’t catch Jeongguk’s eyebrows twitch from the familiar voice. Instead, you arched your neck to look past him, smiling as you caught sight of Hoseok walking towards your group with Seokjin as an apparent guide.

“I knew they’d be by the balcony, it’s really nice overlooking the park district, right?” Seokjin went to Namjoon as he muttered something again about the internet, “What are you doing?”

“Hey, I saw something on the way here I wanted to show you it after we leave in a bit okay?” Hoseok’s hand found yours, smiling as he spoke. Out of the corner of your eye, you noted Jimin’s hand nudge at Jeongguk. You ignored it, instead nodding,

“Okay, sounds good. Actually, have you heard from Yoongi at all? You have a class with him.”

“He wasn’t in class today.” Hoseok shrugged, “He’s been like that you know?” You frowned,

“Yeah, but I thought he would’ve stopped by now.” Hoseok shook his head,

“Unfortunately not,” He looked past you to the large windows that left the outdoor space completely visible, “Let’s go out there, love. It looks pretty.”

“You’re obvious about hating him.” Jimin grinned wider as Jeongguk’s eyes rolled. Glancing at you and Hoseok wander out through the door, Jimin looked back to the stiffened jaw of his friend. “What don’t trust him?”

“No.” Instantaneously the words fell. Jeongguk’s eyebrows creased. He didn’t realize he felt so strongly about this. He didn’t remember hating the idea of them getting back together a week ago. Really, he didn’t know at all why he had this distrust engraved against his conscious. He didn’t have a good feeling.

“Hey, both of you look at this,” Namjoon gestured to his phone, “Jin’s vlog from the last party. Tell me if you remember this.” Seokjin appeared contemplative as the younger two moved closer. Namjoon also seemed slightly distressed as he clicked play.

Jimin’s mouth opened in a small gasp as he watched the events of a seance take place, “Did you guys do that last time?” He murmured in a stain of nerves. Jeongguk ignored him, focusing entirely on the scene and feeling his heart rate accelerate as Taehyung’s body fell to the ground. 

“He wasn’t the same after that,” Jeongguk didn’t know what he meant by the comment. “Y/N-” He startled as he listened to the replay of worried yells you made because you hadn’t been able to move. 

“I remember that,” Seokjin pointed out in surprise as he watched himself try to help Y/N, only to be met with, “She felt like she was a fire, or something.” 

“Because you dumbasses used a real chant!” Jimin huffed, watching with a scowl as you eventually regained movement and the scene cut to something else. “I told you not to mess with the real stuff, Guk!” 

“Well it happened!” Jeongguk countered, his voice raised through frustration. Jimin stayed steady in glaring at Namjoon’s phone, before Namjoon pulled it back.

“We should show Y/N.” He said calmly, despite the unsteady hold his hand mounted the phone. 

“No, she’s with Hoseok.” Jeongguk huffed.

“You sound like Taehyung-”

“We should show Taehyung, too.” Seokjin intervened before the two could start arguing, “Is he here?”

“No, he’s,” Jeongguk sighed, shrugging, “I don’t know.” 

Please feel free to send thoughts, predictions, interpretations; they really help me to know how to word the story so that everyone successfully understands the plot points I’m trying to get across ! More than happy to answer questions you may have !

[cutiepiepotatoes]

The Rugby emoji

Modern!Ivarxfem!reader

Note: I’m a rugby fan so I really like this one, sometimes in 2nd person and other in 3rd sorry guys, I don’t own any character

Warning: cursing but that’s all

“Husband - Babe I’m coming home at eight, have a last meeting to make. Love you 🏉” the notification makes Y/N’s heart warm up. Putting her phone down, she has some more paper work and she was done, but her mind starts wandering in her memory...

Driving in her alley, Y/N only thought about taking a quick shower and going straight to bed. She was exhausted, she had a long day at work and a lot of meetings. Out of her car, she was looking for her keys when she heard laughs coming from her neighbor’s house. Deep voices talking too loud, laughing and probably drinking a lot too. She sighed, the hot man in a wheelchair next door was having his brothers, again. It was probably for the rugby match. She wanted to watch it too, but her bed was waiting and she couldn’t turn her back on it. Y/N walked to her neighbor’s door and knocked. Everything went silent and after a few seconds, Ivar opened the door, already his signature smirk.

“Hey Y/N! How are you? What can I do for you today?” 

“Hi Ivar, I’m actually exhausted and I know that whenever you have your brothers home, you guys are quit loud and I was thinking if maybe tonight you could tone it down a bit?” 

His smirk only grew wider at her request and paused, pretending to think about it, before looking at her dead in the eyes : “sorry, no can’t do. You probably don’t know because, well, you’re quit lady-like, but tonight there’s a match so...”

Y/N just stared at him, shocked and insulted even though she knew it was the game between us, before smiling. If he wanted to play this way, then it’s on, she thought. The beautiful businesswoman wasn’t tired anymore and her heels didn’t hurt so much. Looking at Ivar through her lashes, she smiled widely and even giggled a bit, before saying in a seductive voice 

“well okay, I understand, but you know, if I hear you boys all night while I’m all alone, it’s gonna be sad...” apparently surprised but pleased, Ivar almost immediately asked her to join them.

Stepping inside the living room, she was welcomed by the guys she knew from a long time now and took a sit in a nice chair, to not any of them next to her. Once she was served a beer, and seeing the boys all trying to act more “manly” than normal, she internally rolled her eyes but decided that the real game could begin. Trying to charm her, Siggurd smiled at her and got closer to his brother’s neighbor, eyeing her curves on his way. 

“You know Y/N, you are a really beautiful girl... And I’ve been thinking...” 

“Didn’t hurt yourself too much then?” Y/N answered, proud of her when she heard the gasps coming from the shocked brothers. 

“Well, boy, thank you, I know I’m beautiful but actually I would like to watch the match so if you could move that would be appreciated” Siggurd sat back in silent, still trying to understand what just happened. Oh boy, if only they knew she was just beginning. After all, Y/N was a shark in business and well, she had to deal with a lot of men who almost always didn’t take her seriously at first.

A few moments later, engrossed in the match, Y/N was yelling at the TV every time her favorite team did something wrong. 

“COME ON MAN! JUST THROW THE FUCKING THING TO BARRETT, THAT HOTTIE IS JUST BEHIND YOU!” She seemed mad in her seat, Ivar was not recognizing his lovely neighbor, the one he took diner with every week at his place, brunch with every Sunday at hers, but he felt very much attracted to her: a beautiful woman in a nice work dress sat on her high heels yelling at the All Blacks on TV, an empty bottle of beer in hand. A truly sweet view for him. Plus he always liked her, more than he should he thought even if they were almost dating but not really. After watching her more than the match, Ivar whispered to his scared brother Ubbe: 

“I’m just glad she’s on our side.” 

“Well I’m still scared of your neighbor bro” 

“Yeah, plus she ate all the pepperoni pizza alone!” Complained Hivtserk, which earned him a dark look from you, causing them all to stared at the floor. You silently laughed, your plan was going amazingly well and the All Blacks were winning, perhaps the bed could wait a bit longer. And Ivar was still very good looking so and you were glad to spend time with him so it was a good situation for you.

At the end of the game, you got up while thanking them but Siggurd still tried his chance one last time, pushing his luck too far by holding your arm to stop you from leaving without giving him a number. Ivar was seeing green but before he could do anything, Y/N stopped in her tracks instantly, slowly turned around, still in his grip, before calmly saying 

“Remove your hand or I will rip off your arm and beat you to death with it.”

But Siggurd just laughed, not thinking much of the threat. Well, he deserved it then. Y/N twisted his arm and threw him down, hearing the “damn” coming form the boys, putting her heel just above his neck: 

“Laugh one more time at me and I will show you heels aren’t just pretty. I told you no Siggurd, learn the meaning, boy” She helped him up, patting his shoulder before pushing him gently in the arms of Ubbe for him to find some comfort now. 

“Damn woman where did you learn to fight like that?! Are you a hitwoman or what?!” Ivar exclaimed, more aroused than ever, having troubles hiding it actually. But he wasn’t the only one so... Y/N noticed how Ivar naturally saw her as a woman while his brother as a girl, she knew Ivar was the one at that moment but didn’t let anything showed on her face.

“Well, dear Ivar, when you have to stand your grounds, you learn what you need. Tonight I just showed off to you guys because of what you said to me earlier, darling.” 

She got closer to him, swaying her hips all the time, and leaned down to grab his face in her hand, whispering: 

“Ivar Lothbrok, I really like you, well before anyway. But you can always make it up to me by treating me as a queen tomorrow night” bending even more, her mouth almost touching his ear “...and maybe I will thank you like a king.” 

And suddenly, her back was straight, her body far from his, she winked, smiled at the confused and amazed men, leaving the house but not before giving a last wink at Ivar. Out of his trance, he rolled fast to the door, opened it widely and screamed at her 

“You are driving me completely and utterly mad woman! But tomorrow at eight I will be waiting for you with flowers, my queen!” 

Y/N simply but sincerely smiled at him before entering her house. Once his brothers left, still shocked, Ivar began to clean up but a beep of his phone got his attention. 

“Y/N Y/L/N- I promise I will keep driving you mad and annoy you for as long as you do the same to me, my king” 

Ivar never felt so much joy than at this moment, almost wanting to roll as fast as possible to her house, screaming he loved her. But he didn’t, they didn’t have a real first date yet, outside in a nice restaurant, so it would be really awkward even if he knew she felt the same. Instead he answered back 

“Better keep that promise, because I swear it back to you, majesty 🏉”.

And that how the rugby emoji became their couple’s symbol.

[noona-clock]

Way Too Long

Hii! Can I request a Youngjae (got7) fanfic/scenario where reader is busy with work and after a long time, they can spend time together again? ♡♡

Yes, you may, anon! Here it is!

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Youngjae x You

By Admin B

You smiled to yourself as you slid your phone out of your pocket, your fingers almost automatically navigating to Youngjae’s name in your contacts and calling him.

It rang a few times before he picked up, but when he did, your smile grew even wider at the sound of his voice.

“Hey, you,” he greeted.

“So, guess what?” You were too excited about your news, you wanted to just cut right to the chase.

“What?”

“Okay, let me rephrase the question: Guess where I am?”

“Ummm...at your hotel?” Youngjae asked, obviously very confused.

You had been on a business trip overseas for a couple of weeks now, attending multiple conferences and working on projects with your foreign counterparts. You had called Youngjae every day you could, but you’d never made him guess where you were.

Because, until today, you were out of the country.

“Nope,” you beamed. “I’m at the airport.”

“Are you coming home?”

“I’m already home.”

“What! You’re not supposed to be coming back until Saturday!”

“My boss said we’ve all done such efficient work, we don’t need to stay any longer. So she sent us home three days early.”

“Seriously?!” Youngjae cried. You could hear how wide he was smiling as he spoke, and it made your heart flutter and skip about ten beats. His smile was the best thing in the world.

“Yep,” you chuckled. “So I’m going to grab my luggage and catch a taxi. I should be home in about an hour. What are you up to?”

“Nothing, actually. I’m home.”

“Just what I wanted to hear. I’ll see you later, then?”

“I can’t wait!”

You loudly kissed your phone before hanging up and heading to baggage claim. You were feeling pretty great about life right now: you’d gotten all your work done, you were home from your trip early, and you were on your way to see your boyfriend (whom you hadn’t seen in TWO WHOLE WEEKS).

After retrieving your luggage, you made your way to the exit, grabbing a taxi and giving the driver your address. You sent Youngjae a message letting him know you were on your way, and he replied back with about fifteen smiley face emojis. 

You made small talk with your taxi driver, trying not to show just how desperate you were to get home. The closer you got, the more anxious you were to see Youngjae. It now felt like you hadn’t seen him for two months rather than two weeks, and you wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around you, feel his lips on yours.

Once the taxi arrived in front of your apartment building, you paid and thanked him, grabbing your luggage and hurrying inside.

Your heart started racing as you got off the elevator and approached your apartment door, your hand fumbling around in your purse for your keys. You managed to get the door unlocked, and your eyes almost immediately found Youngjae’s form on the couch. His head snapped up, a huge grin forming on his lips when he saw you. Within a minute, he was up and rushing toward you.

You held your arms out, throwing them around his neck when he reached you, tears almost filling your eyes when you felt his embrace around your waist.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured, his face buried in your hair and neck. “Two weeks is way too long.”

“I know, but you’ve been on tour for longer than that,” you reminded him with a soft chuckle.

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

You simply squeezed him, pressing your body even closer to his. You finally felt whole again now you were back with Youngjae. As cheesy as it sounded, you weren’t complete without him. You could function and survive without him, of course, but... your life just wasn’t the same when you couldn’t see him and be with him.

Although you truly didn’t ever want to let go, you also really wanted to kiss him. So you pulled away just enough to move to place your lips on his, kissing him desperately. Though, after awhile, it was hard to continue the kiss as you both were smiling so widely.

“Come on, let’s go cuddle,” Youngjae suggested, pulling back and taking your hand. “You can unpack later.”

Right now, there was nothing in the world you wanted to do more than to lie in bed and cuddle with Youngjae. You wanted to talk about everything and nothing with him. You wanted to hear all about what he’d been doing while you were gone, even though you’d talked to him everyday on your trip. You wanted to kiss him until your lips were numb. 

And you never wanted to leave him again. 

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

[blockheadbrands]

Former Phylos Bioscience Employee Sheds Light on Breeding Controversy

Dick Fitts of High Times Reports:

An ex-employee of Phylos Bioscience comes forward after convincing breeders and growers to trust in the impartiality of the company.

There were perhaps twenty people gathered to hear me speak. For a noon slot, not too bad. All the same, it was my first time giving The Pitch for Phylos Bioscience, and I psyched myself up through a buzzing chest as best I could. Fairbanks Alaska in July is a land without night; having spent the previous evening watching the sun through my hotel window as it barely dipped below the horizon only to creep back up from its catnap an hour later, I was a bit edgier than perhaps I should have been. I stiffened, walked up to the podium, clumsily fiddled with the microphone, had a deep breath and jumped right in. This was my moment, after all. I smiled.

The Script

“Hello, folks! Hope everybody’s had a pleasant morning. My name is Ricky, and I’m here today from Phylos Bioscience.”

Many of you in the grower and breeder communities who are reading this met me under exactly these circumstances. I smiled at you, shook your hand. I answered your questions with austerity and confidence, gained your trust, followed up on the phone, shared laughs and grow stories, tragedies and drug war nightmares. And I even fulfilled your orders for the Phylos Genotype kit, compiling a vast blueprint of your genetics and charting them in the Galaxy, the largest genomic map of cannabis worldwide.

I reassured you time and again, hundreds of times daily: “We are not out to steal your work. We are here to help you protect it, to prove prior art. We’re a different type of cannabis company. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate…” and on and on.

The Flip

Within the last three weeks, a side of the company has come to public light that calls all of this into question. What I helped build was merely a pawn for a horribly different endgame. I helped build an unparalleled data set of the cannabis genome, paid for by an eager public, to help the company build barriers to entry for anyone else who breeds. I helped establish my employers in a dominant and unfair competitive position for this new venture with an eye towards becoming the industry’s number one acquisition target for Big Ag.

And in the end: I am so, so sorry to you all. I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing. I’ve never believed more deeply in what I was doing, nor been bamboozled so fully. I’d like to speak to this, and if I can’t right my wrongs here at least give some thoughts on how the community can move forward independent and strong.

Phylos Bioscience Starts as Testing Facility for Breeders

In case you’re new to this story and its many twists and turns, here’s the nuts and bolts: Phylos built their name as a testing facility, creating a super-cool 3D map of the Cannabis genome called the Galaxy. For depth of information, ease of use and simple visual appeal: it’s unrivaled in the world, truly an accomplishment to be cherished proudly and applauded by any bioinformatician anywhere. Phylos set themselves up as a guardian of people’s genetic work, helping growers and breeders establish a prior timetable of when they had their genetics before the inevitable wave of patents and big ag attorneys looming on the horizon start to rewrite the rules of what belongs to whom.

For years they had a page on their website titled “Tools for Breeders”. This dealt with developing marker-assisted selection, a technology where the specific mutation points on an organism’s DNA code are tracked and understood, then that data used to inform and accelerate traditional breeding. This isn’t GMO, where a CRISPR machine is used to rewrite sections of the plant’s basic DNA. This is simply kicking traditional breeding into overdrive: with a pre-grow genetic roadmap, a breeder could use this tech to decide which seedlings out of a crop will carry the traits they’re looking for; all of a sudden you’re looking at bringing ten plants full term instead of potentially hundreds of thousands, saving time and labor and resources and farmland.

All in all, this promised better, more refined traditional agriculture for the community and a safeguard against private labs under the direction of a multibillion-dollar ag company steamrolling us all out of existence. A level playing field, an honest and even shot for so many small and underground growers who suffered for so long in our drug war: truly a paradigm shift in agriculture with the potential to ripple outwards into the wider web of what we grow, how we grow it and in essence who we are as a culture and species.

This was one of the things that really attracted me to the company, and one of the reasons I’m so sad to see them go the way they have: a breeding program could have been introduced to the public as a series of tools to develop and further their own work. As it goes, this was simply not to be.

Phylos Bioscience Announces In-House Breeding Program

They made their fateful announcement on Instagram on April 9th: an in-house breeding program, one that by definition would not only be stiff competition for any other breeders of industrial hemp or craft flower but most likely bury with the tech they’ve gathered and perfected. Imagine if all the umpires in baseball got together and said they were starting their own team, putting the full weight of their support behind it. Should the other teams, or the general public for that matter, trust them when they tell us they’re not competing, that they just want to contribute to the love of the game?

This was the quandary Phylos presented with their public statement. True, they’d be paying royalties to the original breeders of the building blocks they started with. But they kept repeating it, over and over in the comments section: we’re not going to compete with you. At best it was patronizing and to this day it remains unfounded. And people got…really, really mad.

Community Responds with Outrage

Between the low-level emoji trolls, loud-mouthed blowhards, cannabis influencers and well-meaning, erudite responders who clearly had a much more solid grasp of genetics and science than the company was giving them credit for: it was an unmitigated shitshow. There were the most horrible names, from “Corporate fucking chads” to the worst you can imagine. There were ignorant pitchfork-wielding yokels spouting pseudoscientific nonsense, there were numerous physical threats.

On the occasion that somebody would ask for clarification or a more complete picture of what might be happening with the data they submitted, the slightest optimism in their sentiment was met with some of the heaviest ridicule I’ve witnessed anywhere, anytime. Everybody took their piece of the big bad scientists and their reputation. It was awful for me to watch; like a dream home you spent a year building reduced to cinders quicker than you could comprehend.

They tried to salvage the situation with form responses to comments, a public statement from their PR person (turns out “You know what? I AM a suit. But I think I’m a pretty good one.” …is not a delicate statement when your intent and role in the industry is being called into question), but the community was relentless. They made a second IG post and a post on their website’s blog, attempting to clarify the first but eerily avoiding some of the deeper questions being asked of them. They did what they could to speak to “how scary this must be” for Everyone involved. Some were pacified by this. Most remained skeptical at best.

Phylos Founder Vows to Replace Modern Varieties of Cannabis

Almost immediately afterward, a video of one of their founders giving a presentation was unearthed, speaking at the Benzinga Cannabis Capital Conference in Miami in February. The term “smoking gun” almost doesn’t do it justice: like many of us who had worked with Phylos in the field, and myself more poignantly than most having worked directly for them, put my name behind them, gone to bat for them with my honor and my word… it was really, really hard to watch. I had to go through it several times over several days just to believe what I was hearing. I cried through a lot of it, puked at one point. It couldn’t possibly be real.

“All the cannabis that’s around now will be replaced by varieties that will be optimized and specialized, and we’re going to be the company that makes those.”

“We have huge barriers to entry protecting us.”

“It would be impossible for anybody else to collect this data set.”

“Cultivators can’t do real breeding on their own.”

“Our core business is plant breeding, we had to build two other businesses to support that…so we built an entire testing business to create all that data.”

“We have a really unusual advisory board. They are not there for show… Ron started and ran a couple of seed companies that he sold to Syngenta, he worked for Syngenta for years and is now the CEO of a spin-out company from there. And Barbara until recently was the VP of technology acquisition for all of Dow / DuPont. So, having these guys around is just critical for us, because we’re building a company that is ultimately going to be acquired by that universe.”

It was suddenly, starkly clear that the brass at the top of the company didn’t give a shit about the community they had built themselves up on the hopes and aspirations of. Actually, truly the case that they looked down on that community and the breeder’s art they’ve carried, for decades, risking everything as “a quaint, rural hobby that maybe farmers get into.”

Supporting Big Ag over Craft Cannabis

Since then, their reputation is on fire and the trolls of the internet have decidedly unleashed themselves. Almost as painful to me as watching their credibility disintegrate has been tracking the body of grotesque, virulent, often badly-uninformed and occasionally decidedly ignorant vitriol being espoused in their direction and that of anybody who supports them, or wants to, for any reason, no matter how rational the rationale.

Things seem uncertain at best for their standing in our community. For being the most dedicated, passionate and capable team of people I’ve ever worked with, in any industry: they’ve chosen to support Big Ag over craft botanists, money over the community. They had a real, solid chance with one of the most valuable crops on Earth as it emerges into full marketplace acceptance to stand with the right people, change the way the game of agronomics is played. Instead, they took the money. They fucking blew it.

Worst of all: they set back the trust of the cannabis community in science, possibly by years, until a stable and reliable alternative can present itself. We need to advance and evolve if we’re to survive the coming onslaught of Corporate Weed. It is not guaranteed that we’ll retain control of our culture or our plant, and with this development things just got darker for us all.

A Word of Advice to Phylos

That all being said, I’d like to give a couple of points of unsolicited advice to the folks at Phylos. Maybe they’ll listen, maybe not: all the same I hope that one way or another they take some time to address their tone-deafness on many key points and publicly raised concerns surrounding their announcement. Who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise me in a way that works for everybody. I can’t help but hold out hope.

First of all, stop talking about “How ‘scary’ this must be” for the community. The term that more accurately describes your recent behavior is “insulting”. Here’s why: the language you’re using indicates a complete lack of understanding and empathy for a group of humans who have endured generations of legal persecution, social stigmata and violent crime. I personally have had friends lose their freedom, their possessions, their families, been lined up against a wall and executed – all for the love of this plant.

This is far from an isolated experience. If you think you’re “scaring” the devoted, hardworking community who had the guts and integrity to build this culture during prohibition that you’re now attempting to appropriate and sell off to big ag, you’ve got another goddamned thing coming. You clearly have no idea who you’re talking to, nor what they’ve endured to get here: we’re in this because we ARE this, past present and future. Check yourselves.

Secondly, you need to state, clearly, what side of the business you’re on. You can’t simultaneously use the lab experience the breeder community has paid you to build, sell yourself off to the biggest fish that waltzes into your bank account and expect to continue enjoying support from the community.

You want to sell out? Fine. But quit acting like you’re not competing with the rest of the industry. Referring back to suggestion #1: it’s insulting. This isn’t a question of a small group of bad actors being really mean and hateful on Instagram, nor is it a question of nuance and context in your communications. Stop bullshitting the people who got you here.

Moving Forward as a Community

To the community at large: we need to take a moment right now. We need to assess, to reflect, to adapt and overcome. There are clearly some mammoth changes coming our way and everything our predecessors have fought and died for is being coveted and actively taken from us by greedy businesspeople who did nothing to help our plight when it really mattered.

As a community, we need a common legal language and framework that breeders can use to protect their work.

We need a scientific community that’s open source, fully transparent and works for everybody equally. We need to support this with personal research, communication and our dollars.

As consumers, we need to support crop diversity and the ability of small farmers to innovate and drive our industry by making our purchasing choices reflect those ethics. 

When we get burned, we pick ourselves the fuck back up and keep moving. Given what we’ve survived so far: this is just another bump in the long, strange trip. Not to worry, we’re gonna WIN this thing. Better goddamned well believe it, Y’all.

With peace, love and respect for everyone involved,

-Dick Fitts

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON HIGH TIMES, CLICK HERE.

https://hightimes.com/news/chronically-il-man-fired-using-marijuana/

[weedconsortium2]

There were perhaps twenty people gathered to hear me speak. For a noon slot, not too bad. All the same, it was my first time giving The Pitch for Phylos Bioscience, and I psyched myself up through a buzzing chest as best I could. Fairbanks Alaska in July is a land without night; having spent the previous evening watching the sun through my hotel window as it barely dipped below the horizon only to creep back up from its catnap an hour later, I was a bit edgier than perhaps I should have been. I stiffened, walked up to the podium, clumsily fiddled with the microphone, had a deep breath and jumped right in. This was my moment, after all. I smiled.

The Script

“Hello, folks! Hope everybody’s had a pleasant morning. My name is Ricky, and I’m here today from Phylos Bioscience.”

Many of you in the grower and breeder communities who are reading this met me under exactly these circumstances. I smiled at you, shook your hand. I answered your questions with austerity and confidence, gained your trust, followed up on the phone, shared laughs and grow stories, tragedies and drug war nightmares. And I even fulfilled your orders for the Phylos Genotype kit, compiling a vast blueprint of your genetics and charting them in the Galaxy, the largest genomic map of cannabis worldwide.

I reassured you time and again, hundreds of times daily: “We are not out to steal your work. We are here to help you protect it, to prove prior art. We’re a different type of cannabis company. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate Monsanto. We fucking hate…” and on and on.

The Flip

Within the last three weeks, a side of the company has come to public light that calls all of this into question. What I helped build was merely a pawn for a horribly different endgame. I helped build an unparalleled data set of the cannabis genome, paid for by an eager public, to help the company build barriers to entry for anyone else who breeds. I helped establish my employers in a dominant and unfair competitive position for this new venture with an eye towards becoming the industry’s number one acquisition target for Big Ag.

And in the end: I am so, so sorry to you all. I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing. I’ve never believed more deeply in what I was doing, nor been bamboozled so fully. I’d like to speak to this, and if I can’t right my wrongs here at least give some thoughts on how the community can move forward independent and strong.

Phylos Bioscience Starts as Testing Facility for Breeders

In case you’re new to this story and its many twists and turns, here’s the nuts and bolts: Phylos built their name as a testing facility, creating a super-cool 3D map of the Cannabis genome called the Galaxy. For depth of information, ease of use and simple visual appeal: it’s unrivaled in the world, truly an accomplishment to be cherished proudly and applauded by any bioinformatician anywhere. Phylos set themselves up as a guardian of people’s genetic work, helping growers and breeders establish a prior timetable of when they had their genetics before the inevitable wave of patents and big ag attorneys looming on the horizon start to rewrite the rules of what belongs to whom.

For years they had a page on their website titled “Tools for Breeders”. This dealt with developing marker-assisted selection, a technology where the specific mutation points on an organism’s DNA code are tracked and understood, then that data used to inform and accelerate traditional breeding. This isn’t GMO, where a CRISPR machine is used to rewrite sections of the plant’s basic DNA. This is simply kicking traditional breeding into overdrive: with a pre-grow genetic roadmap, a breeder could use this tech to decide which seedlings out of a crop will carry the traits they’re looking for; all of a sudden you’re looking at bringing ten plants full term instead of potentially hundreds of thousands, saving time and labor and resources and farmland.

All in all, this promised better, more refined traditional agriculture for the community and a safeguard against private labs under the direction of a multibillion-dollar ag company steamrolling us all out of existence. A level playing field, an honest and even shot for so many small and underground growers who suffered for so long in our drug war: truly a paradigm shift in agriculture with the potential to ripple outwards into the wider web of what we grow, how we grow it and in essence who we are as a culture and species.

This was one of the things that really attracted me to the company, and one of the reasons I’m so sad to see them go the way they have: a breeding program could have been introduced to the public as a series of tools to develop and further their own work. As it goes, this was simply not to be.

Phylos Bioscience Announces In-House Breeding Program

They made their fateful announcement on Instagram on April 9th: an in-house breeding program, one that by definition would not only be stiff competition for any other breeders of industrial hemp or craft flower but most likely bury with the tech they’ve gathered and perfected. Imagine if all the umpires in baseball got together and said they were starting their own team, putting the full weight of their support behind it. Should the other teams, or the general public for that matter, trust them when they tell us they’re not competing, that they just want to contribute to the love of the game?

This was the quandary Phylos presented with their public statement. True, they’d be paying royalties to the original breeders of the building blocks they started with. But they kept repeating it, over and over in the comments section: we’re not going to compete with you. At best it was patronizing and to this day it remains unfounded. And people got…really, really mad.

Community Responds with Outrage

Between the low-level emoji trolls, loud-mouthed blowhards, cannabis influencers and well-meaning, erudite responders who clearly had a much more solid grasp of genetics and science than the company was giving them credit for: it was an unmitigated shitshow. There were the most horrible names, from “Corporate fucking chads” to the worst you can imagine. There were ignorant pitchfork-wielding yokels spouting pseudoscientific nonsense, there were numerous physical threats.

On the occasion that somebody would ask for clarification or a more complete picture of what might be happening with the data they submitted, the slightest optimism in their sentiment was met with some of the heaviest ridicule I’ve witnessed anywhere, anytime. Everybody took their piece of the big bad scientists and their reputation. It was awful for me to watch; like a dream home you spent a year building reduced to cinders quicker than you could comprehend.

They tried to salvage the situation with form responses to comments, a public statement from their PR person (turns out “You know what? I AM a suit. But I think I’m a pretty good one.” …is not a delicate statement when your intent and role in the industry is being called into question), but the community was relentless. They made a second IG post and a post on their website’s blog, attempting to clarify the first but eerily avoiding some of the deeper questions being asked of them. They did what they could to speak to “how scary this must be” for Everyone involved. Some were pacified by this. Most remained skeptical at best.

Phylos Founder Vows to Replace Modern Varieties of Cannabis

Almost immediately afterward, a video of one of their founders giving a presentation was unearthed, speaking at the Benzinga Cannabis Capital Conference in Miami in February. The term “smoking gun” almost doesn’t do it justice: like many of us who had worked with Phylos in the field, and myself more poignantly than most having worked directly for them, put my name behind them, gone to bat for them with my honor and my word… it was really, really hard to watch. I had to go through it several times over several days just to believe what I was hearing. I cried through a lot of it, puked at one point. It couldn’t possibly be real.

“All the cannabis that’s around now will be replaced by varieties that will be optimized and specialized, and we’re going to be the company that makes those.”

“We have huge barriers to entry protecting us.”

“It would be impossible for anybody else to collect this data set.”

“Cultivators can’t do real breeding on their own.”

“Our core business is plant breeding, we had to build two other businesses to support that…so we built an entire testing business to create all that data.”

“We have a really unusual advisory board. They are not there for show… Ron started and ran a couple of seed companies that he sold to Syngenta, he worked for Syngenta for years and is now the CEO of a spin-out company from there. And Barbara until recently was the VP of technology acquisition for all of Dow / DuPont. So, having these guys around is just critical for us, because we’re building a company that is ultimately going to be acquired by that universe.”

It was suddenly, starkly clear that the brass at the top of the company didn’t give a shit about the community they had built themselves up on the hopes and aspirations of. Actually, truly the case that they looked down on that community and the breeder’s art they’ve carried, for decades, risking everything as “a quaint, rural hobby that maybe farmers get into.”

Supporting Big Ag over Craft Cannabis

Since then, their reputation is on fire and the trolls of the internet have decidedly unleashed themselves. Almost as painful to me as watching their credibility disintegrate has been tracking the body of grotesque, virulent, often badly-uninformed and occasionally decidedly ignorant vitriol being espoused in their direction and that of anybody who supports them, or wants to, for any reason, no matter how rational the rationale.

Things seem uncertain at best for their standing in our community. For being the most dedicated, passionate and capable team of people I’ve ever worked with, in any industry: they’ve chosen to support Big Ag over craft botanists, money over the community. They had a real, solid chance with one of the most valuable crops on Earth as it emerges into full marketplace acceptance to stand with the right people, change the way the game of agronomics is played. Instead, they took the money. They fucking blew it.

Worst of all: they set back the trust of the cannabis community in science, possibly by years, until a stable and reliable alternative can present itself. We need to advance and evolve if we’re to survive the coming onslaught of Corporate Weed. It is not guaranteed that we’ll retain control of our culture or our plant, and with this development things just got darker for us all.

A Word of Advice to Phylos

That all being said, I’d like to give a couple of points of unsolicited advice to the folks at Phylos. Maybe they’ll listen, maybe not: all the same I hope that one way or another they take some time to address their tone-deafness on many key points and publicly raised concerns surrounding their announcement. Who knows? Maybe they’ll surprise me in a way that works for everybody. I can’t help but hold out hope.

First of all, stop talking about “How ‘scary’ this must be” for the community. The term that more accurately describes your recent behavior is “insulting”. Here’s why: the language you’re using indicates a complete lack of understanding and empathy for a group of humans who have endured generations of legal persecution, social stigmata and violent crime. I personally have had friends lose their freedom, their possessions, their families, been lined up against a wall and executed – all for the love of this plant.

This is far from an isolated experience. If you think you’re “scaring” the devoted, hardworking community who had the guts and integrity to build this culture during prohibition that you’re now attempting to appropriate and sell off to big ag, you’ve got another goddamned thing coming. You clearly have no idea who you’re talking to, nor what they’ve endured to get here: we’re in this because we ARE this, past present and future. Check yourselves.

Secondly, you need to state, clearly, what side of the business you’re on. You can’t simultaneously use the lab experience the breeder community has paid you to build, sell yourself off to the biggest fish that waltzes into your bank account and expect to continue enjoying support from the community.

You want to sell out? Fine. But quit acting like you’re not competing with the rest of the industry. Referring back to suggestion #1: it’s insulting. This isn’t a question of a small group of bad actors being really mean and hateful on Instagram, nor is it a question of nuance and context in your communications. Stop bullshitting the people who got you here.

Moving Forward as a Community

To the community at large: we need to take a moment right now. We need to assess, to reflect, to adapt and overcome. There are clearly some mammoth changes coming our way and everything our predecessors have fought and died for is being coveted and actively taken from us by greedy businesspeople who did nothing to help our plight when it really mattered.

As a community, we need a common legal language and framework that breeders can use to protect their work.

We need a scientific community that’s open source, fully transparent and works for everybody equally. We need to support this with personal research, communication and our dollars.

As consumers, we need to support crop diversity and the ability of small farmers to innovate and drive our industry by making our purchasing choices reflect those ethics.

When we get burned, we pick ourselves the fuck back up and keep moving. Given what we’ve survived so far: this is just another bump in the long, strange trip. Not to worry, we’re gonna WIN this thing. Better goddamned well believe it, Y’all.

With peace, love and respect for everyone involved,

-Dick Fitts

The post Former Phylos Bioscience Employee Sheds Light on Breeding Controversy appeared first on High Times.

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